#I clean my room and put clothes away
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I can't bring myself to think of anything except a submissive dbf Bucky on his knees, shirtless and just short of begging to be allowed to touch you. (Probably inspired by this tiktok that I've watched SO many times)
Even his very first kiss is frantic. He usually starts off gentle; almost tentative but within minutes he's holding the back of your head, keeping you close and it's such an indulgent kiss, it makes your head swim.
"Fuck." His mouth latches onto your neck, groaning quietly when he realises you already have the first couple of buttons of his shirt undone. He's already lost any desire he might have had to take this slowly.
You pull him back up to kiss your lips with a hand gently cradling the back of his neck. He doesn't voice any objections, following your lead and letting his warm lips slide over yours until your tongue teases his.
He's practically melting already and it's so rewarding to watch how easily he crumbles. Your lips don't part from his while he shrugs his shirt off and as soon as his neck is free of the collar, your hand replaces it.
His eyes open when you start to apply pressure to the outside of his throat, careful to avoid pressing on any of the more delicate structures. "Harder." He needs this. You have no problem indulging him.
"You're so good for me." He's flushed already but you swear the praise makes his cheeks blaze even hotter. His lips are pink and slick and he's long since forgotten his need to kiss you. Up until you use your grip on his neck to direct him to kneel on the carpet.
You let go of his throat, the release of pressure gives him a head rush and it's written all over his face. He's looking up at you expectantly, desperate to know what's coming next. Are you going to tease him about being so submissive? Slap his face a little? Spit in his mouth maybe? A little part of him isn't sure what he'd prefer more.
You do none of the above though. Instead, you perch on the edge of the bed while you play with his hair, letting the seconds tick past, not saying a word.
He almost feels deprived of touch, going from so much to so little in a short space of time. Your knees are pressed tightly together but he kisses up one of your bare legs regardless, worshipping every inch of skin he can press his mouth to.
"Spread your legs." It's only a quiet murmur but his tone is off. He's not in a position to be making any demands.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" It's almost funny that he thinks he'll get what he wants by addressing you like that.
"Spread your legs please." The emphasis seems genuine. He engaged his mouth before he engaged his brain. It happens and you forgive him, parting your thighs and letting him shift the skirt of your dress out of the way.
You hadn't bothered to wear underwear. It only gets in the way and Bucky seemed appreciative that he didn't have to waste any time taking it off you.
"You're so wet already." This wasn't news to you. Even just the thought of him on his knees for you is enough to get you worked up, never mind the reality.
One of your hands instinctively settles on the back of his head and you feel him start to glide his tongue over your slick sex. He kisses your body like he did your lips earlier. The pressure and intensity feels indulgent, long strokes of his tongue that allow him to taste you the way he's been dreaming of.
The slick sounds are obscene. His quiet moans are filthy. He sinks two thick fingers into your body, curling them while his tongue laps at your clit and you can't help the way your legs shake.
The pointed tip of your shoe presses gently to the front of his trousers and he gratefully grinds against the sole. His pleasure can't and won't be forgotten, although it seems like that wasn't a concern of his anyway.
#becca's thots#becca writes spice#sub!bucky#sub!dbf!bucky#subby!bucky#I am a simple woman with simple needs#and subby men meet about 92% of those needs#please tell me why I have to do things though#I'd like to play slime rancher tonight#maybe do my gels#but I have 4000 words due next week#on whether international human rights law offers significant opportunities for the realisation of women's equality#it's an interesting essay question#but it's sunday#and Sunday is the day that I engage in brainless activity#I don't cook real food#I only write filth#I clean my room and put clothes away#I visit my granny and we talk about the most random stuff#I do my nails and watch horror game playthroughs#I shouldn't have to think on a Sunday#it's a crime that I'm being expected to function today
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do u ever realized u fucked up. about a week after the fact :^) and now u can't do anything about it :^)))
#ok so earlier in the year i was doing some spring cleaning#n found a bunch of clothes so full of holes that they were beyond repair#so i put them all in a large bag to b thrown out later#i also find a bunch of socks that dont have a match in this process#and i put them in the large bag thinking 'well if i havent found the matches yet i guess i never will 😅'#fast forward to last week. im proper deep cleaning my room#i find a bunch more socks n throw everything in the laundry basket to b washed n sorted later#and i also finally get around to throwing out the large bag of clothes#so now im putting away everything i washed. and im realizing#'hm this is a lot of mismatched socks 🤔 but i completely cleaned my room! where did the matches go???'#can u guess 🙃 where all the matches 🙃🙃🙃 to the socks went 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#anyway now u see where i got the inspiration for joshua's character lmao
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finally tackled the absolute mountain of laundry in various states of cleanliness around my room. now all of it is sorted and put into its respective zones of "away".
#98% of my room being clean with visible floorspace is just finally handling the laundry#i am ashamed and embarrassed that i always have so much dirty laundry#eventually i'll get back to the point i was at when i was the coach of laundry where i'll have like a week's worth of shit to get done#and not a backlog of several months#eventually#and i will be working on not feeling so much shame about the state of my laundry#i don't *like* that i do it but there's nothing inherently immoral about it like the voice of my mother that shouts in my brain thinks#the put away laundry plus the effort i've been making to Make My Bed before sitting in it has helped me feel more settled in the space#so that's good#when i am not as concerned about blocking the various registers in my room i will be in business#(mattress on the floor only fits in one specific corner right by the intake)#(output register is awkwardly directly in the middle of the opposite side of the room which makes arranging the furniture where i'd like it#an interesting endeavor that i'm not super excited in attempting to orchestrate in the future)#i know where i'd *like* things to go#whether or not that'll actually be feasible is another story#also i think i'm going to have to just go through my clothes with the mindset of actually getting rid of things#i threw out a couple pairs of socks because they were worn so thin i'm not sure mending would have fixed the holes#like that that point i'm making a whole new sock and you know what i could do instead? not do that#i also have a lot of Baggage Items i haven't quite gotten around to divesting myself of#(as in the items of clothing have a lot of emotional baggage tied to them that i may or may not be using to negative effect on myself)#lots of old shit lots of things that don't fit lots of things i don't even like actually#but it was free or nearly so and i've just held onto it because free#only a few things are kept because i like wearing them and the texture is nice#so we'll just. go through some stuff and eventually i'll get to the point that even if *all* of my clothes are dirty and on the floor#it doesn't take up my WHOLE goddamn room#that said this has in fact been a problem my whole life and so i don't imagine it's going to be quick or easy to fix lol
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I need y'all to know that I'm like really aggressively cleaning/tidying/taking out trash/(shoving my brother's trash he left in the hallway into his room) rn. I am fixing my entire life. no more amazon boxes in the living room no more full trash bags in random places no more dishes and balls of yarn and random shit I have to step over eighteen times a day. I am CLEANSING THIS SPACE
#there's a five percent change that my best friend MIGHT be coming over this weekend and i can't let him see the way i live#i finally got a proper wardrobe too so now all my clothes are in one place/not just on the floor in the bathroom!#i am putting things Away. goodbye thing you are going in the drawer#i still have to clean the lads' cage and finish up the living room but i'm taking a lunch break rn!#rayrambles
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[adhd voice] guys why is laundry the hardest chore on the planet
#zymtalk#i had 2 baskets already clean and sitting in my room#and instead i read a 230 page comic in one sitting#and then i was like. i should move my furniture [<- guy who does not have time for that]#which meant taking down the clothes hanging on my shelf. which means now i have like 3 and a half baskets to put away BSJGSJF#adderall baby i know i never actually had you in my hands but i miss you. come back to me we can talk abt this
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my roses have buds, the blueberries have green fruits 😌 it really is june 💙
#it's june but i'm not insane abt it anymore#roses should probably flower in may next year but they're all newly planted this year except the ones in shade lol#it's june huh#too hot to even go outside tho ughhhh#climate change i hate u fr#june used to be the perfect month where i live#anyway#n e way <3#i am at peace with it being june now it just took me a moment#im cleaning my room and finally putting away my winter clothes to make room for my aummer stiff and hopefully get rid of my laundry mountain#making my room clean will fix me#also i picked some irises they're so pretty goodbye depression#life is okay actually#in a few weeks there will be roses and i will eat blueberries off the bush and make jam and THEN i will be normal#working full time sucks so much there is no time for joy or life even tho my job is fine#im squeezing my entire life into my weekends#but im normal im fine#it's june and that is good
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You ever just get hit hard as hell that you've felt trapped in your place of residence for years and years and you're just so tired from working the most shit jobs for a decade you just wanna scream.
#Yeag its so fun#Like. I feel like I've just pushed it back in my head going 'nono its not that bad it just feels that bad'#And then I realize everything from the way I dress and the way I relax is half faked because what else can I do but#Sit and be safe in the one room that feels even half like my space#I don't go out of this room! Its hell outside of it at my place.#Its filled with people who debate how I generally live and think my life isn't hard enough and so I deserve more suffering half the time#I'm making $20 an hour right now and it feels impossible to keep up three or so payments if I miss. day or two per check#I'm mostly venting rn but just holy shit#I think I'd actually put effort into putting clothes away or cleaning up my space or being just in any way shape or form nicer to myself#If I had any sense of belonging here#Its been almost 27 years of my life in this one room
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i seriously need to move out cause my room isn't big enough to hold all of my stuff anymore and it's genuinely causing problems
#like... ive got a lot of merch and books#and lil dolls and notebooks and pencils#and clothes. so many clothes#and i have things crammed into every single shelf in every place that will fit#to the point there is NO more space#so i've had to resort to putting things on the floor#i haven't seen my desk clean in years cause i had to start putting books and drawing materials and cards on top of it#for context: i have the smallest bedroom in the house#my parents kicked me out of my much larger bedroom when my brother was born#and shoved me into what WAS basically an office#im one of those ''there is one clear path in and out of the room'' people#it'd be fine if i was allowed to have my stuff be in other places in the house i think#but if my parents catch even a Single Thing that is not a Family Item or Theirs in the living room#its immediately being yelled at to ''take your shit to your room'' hours#i'd give stuff away but like ive ALREADY given away the stuff im willing to part with#like the stuff i don't get joy from anymore/don't use anymore#i just... need more space#cause literally EVERY part of my room is being used to hold something#if i like... lived in a space where my stuff could be in more than one room#like where i could have MORE SHELVES to spread things out on#this would not be a problem#also the school giving me like a thousand things and no place to put them (i didn't get a locker like everyone else)#DEFINITELY made things worse. 90% of the stuff on my floor rn is school stuff and papers
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in my monthly “mourning the part of me that died last year” era
#trying to finish up my resume so i can ask ppl for letters of rec#scrolling thru my photos trying to find proof of what exactly i did#going through spring 2023 and now fall 2022.#i just. argh#im so much better now than i was at this point last year#and words cant even really describe how much better i am now#or even rather just. how much WORSE i was last year#i just. im finally getting motivation again to like put my life back together and learn how to be a human being again#and now looking at my shit from january 2023 and being like. oh yeah. this is exactly why im having to put myself back together again#im like so proud of myself now for like putting 5 clothes away per day to clean up my room#so im like wow im making progress yay#and so then its like. oh. stark reminder as to the exact soul crushing dark depths of my soul that led me to this point in the first place#brot posts#also going thru all my old school homework and textbook files and its like. damn. i used to be about that life#and also seeing the utter decline in organization in my folders as time went on#like girl you can see the depression coming over me just in the file structures …#and also how more and more homeworks get skipped like oh HW7. then HW9. no hw8… cuz i didnt gaf anymore#meanwhile my first two years were so meticulously organized and well kept. and never missing an assignment
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no lexapro (vine boom sfx) no wellbutrin (vine boom sfx) and no vyvanse (vine boom sfx) BUT i do have a half pound bag of beef jerky so it basically balances out
#I have work tomorrow#as well as the need ti clean my room + put away clothes#And pack things back up to take back to college#all without the meds baby watch as adhd and depression kick my ASS bfksndnd#og post#personal
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I get to spend all afternoon trying to figure out where my mom hid my beloved airplane sweater
#it’s old and oversized but ever since I found my old clothes in my closet back in February it’s been one of my favorite pieces of clothing#and I need to know where it is to make me feel better#I won’t wear it right away no ok maybe I will since it is raining season now#but I just have to know where it is and put t back in my closet#another thing my mom has hidden from me that I haven’t found since she deep cleaned my room while I was away
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Man, i sure do love getting a blast of ADHD fulled anxiety energy at 3am! :)
#It’s 5 am now and after i gave up on sleeping at 3am I got up and speed folded a bunch of clothes and put them away#cleaned part of my room and started a part of a larger crochet project and made my todo list for tomorow an organized some of my phone notes#gotta love it lol#adhd mood#adhd problems#adhd
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I wont be online for a while! But before that, who tf made needle eyes so small?? Im trying to fix my clothes and my bigass fingers cant get the rope through it :/
#i stabbed myself accidently so many times :(#today i cleaned the entire house and reorganised a lot of places#and then mom told me to stop caz it was late and we have neighbours:(#so instead i started sewing#and fixing my clothes#using the knowledge from my 3rd grade art teacher#and I successfully sewed my stuff!!#which im proud of myself for#they dont look very nice but!#thats okay#i tried my best#and i doubt anyonr will notice them#i am so bored of just- cleaning my room over and over again tbh#but i cant keep it clean😭#you mean to tell me that everytime i change i have to put ny clothes away and not on the chair?#being nice to myself is so hard sometimes#god im pathetic#all this to just stop myself from thinking lol
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nightmare shit
#did a deep clean of my room yesterday bc we r moving soon#amd thats AFTER i put a lot of black clothes away too LMAO#the inherent poc need to keep every damn plastic bag ever acquired is insane
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turns out when you actually take your medication consistently they do work a little bit. not all the way and certainly not enough but A LITTLE BIT. anyway im at that stage where i want to do things now but i don't have the energy to actually do anything. i want to clean my room i want to do bad art i want to KNIT. i have the desire but not the motivation or energy. it's so frustrating.
#personal#i cleaned for like 10ish minutes yesterday yay me#today i am doing laundry. 65% of the mess in my room is clothes that are not put away so if i do a few loads i can make a dent#without having to put in that much effort either#and i will do big stuff so i dont get overwhelmed by folding either#rn i am washing my biggest blanket and i will do some other bulkystuff next probably#and i am not going to feel bad about how this stuff is easy for other people.#its hard for ME and thats okay and i am doing my best. and feeling bad about it doesnt help anything!
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EHEHHEHE IM FREE OF THE CURSED SYSTEM OF WRITING TEXTS >>:DDD
#LAST TEXT. SENT. I AM SO RELIEVED#THIS COURSE WAS SO NOT ME NOR MY ACTUAL SKILL LEVEL/INTELLIGENCE. IT WAS UNHEALTHY AND NOW THAT IT HAS LEFT ME NOT UNLIKE MY APPENDIX I FEEL#HAPPINESS. AND COMFORT. IVE MANAGED TO CLEAN DIRTY PARTS OF MY ROOM AND PUT AWAY CLOTHES INTO THEIR APPROPRIATE SPOTS.#THE PROVERBIAL TRAINING WEIGHTS ARE OFF AND I CAN NOW LOOK INTO OTHER SCHOOLS I ACTUALLY WANNA DO#OR GET A JOB THAT WILL GIVE ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY#WHAT A FUCKING DRAG ON MY MENTAL CAPACITIES THAT WAS. ITS LIKE MY COMPUTER STORAGE HAS BEEN CLEARED OF ALL THE SHIT NOT NEEDED#god im happy rn. :) didnt even wanna do it in the first place my mah simply coerced me (horrible mistake of mine)#kudos to my sister for fixing my texts since im not academically gifted <3
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