#I cannot make people engage in good faith. but I would like to

[ongreenergrasses]

ugh guys I’m so nervous for Friday

[tc-doherty]

TC's Practical Writing Tips

Like I said before, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I can teach anyone how to write – that's a level of hubris even I'm not capable of –but in honor of my rapidly approaching ~quarter century of writing original fiction anniversary~, I did figure I would share the tips that I live by when it comes to the act of writing.

So without further ado:

Write it now, fix it later

2. It is always permissible – and usually enjoyable – to write the stupidest possible version

3. "Inspiration" is great for poets, but poison for people who write prose

3.1: if you want to write often, you need to write often, and then you will find that you don't need to be "inspired" because you will have made a habit of it and it will come naturally 3.2: even one sentence a day is still one sentence a day. And even one sentence a week is still one sentence a week. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop 3.3: believing in the concept that you need to be inspired to write will trap you into believing in the concept of writer's block 3.4: if you are having difficulty getting out words that satisfy you, lower your standards and keep writing (see point one)

4. A few months down the line you will not remember which words came easily and which words did not

5. It is always permissible to set a project aside for now, or forever, if you need a break

6. Read widely and often, both in your favorite genres and outside of them

6.1: pay special attention to both things that you love and things that you hate - study them, engage with them, learn what makes yourself tick and your writing can only get stronger

7. Never write for the lowest common denominator, via wise words I once heard: "if you open the window and make love to the world, your story will get pneumonia", have an audience in mind and the people who like what you write will find it

8. Never write for the bad faith critic, those people will always exist and you will need to deal with them at some point if you put your writing in the world, but they don't matter and you cannot live in fear of them

9. It's fine and normal to want engagement and praise, however you must find a way to make the act of writing joyful in and of itself – make the praise the cherry on top, not the entire sunday

9.1: writing is hard work, and it's a lot of work, if you lose the ability to enjoy the journey and are proceeding only for external rewards from others, you will gradually write less and less if the ratio of work to rewards is unsatisfying

10. For anything other than final copy editing, always write a new draft into a new document, or else the words you have already written will trap you from being able to make large, sweeping changes

10.1: any change you make will invariably snowball, and you must give space for that snowball to roll

11. If someone tells you that something doesn't work for them, believe them, because people know what they like. But if people try to tell you what to do to fix it, take that with an entire serving of salt because you are the author, not them

12. It is always morally correct to look at a critique that you received, even if you asked for opinions via beta reading, and decide that it's bullshit and doesn't apply to you

13. "write what you know" means "write what you're interested in"

14. "Show don't tell" applies to screenwriting, not novels. This is the thing that drives me the most insane every time I see it. Novels are words on a page, not images on a screen. They require a lot of telling. Not all telling, but a lot of telling. Become comfortable with that.

15. It is always, ALWAYS acceptable to use "said", do not listen to the lies of others

16. Have fun, do it out of love and you will never go astray

17. Become comfortable with who you are. Your work is always going to be yours and it is always going to sound like you wrote it, and this is a good thing! No one else is ever going to write exactly like you, and you should be proud of that

17.1: the concept of "originality" is vastly overrated, every culture has some version of Cinderella and we still love it. Your writing is yours because you wrote it, and it will always be unique because of that

[thearchercore]

I say they aren’t revealing the contract length so its less embarrassing for them down the road if they flop in 2024 and Charles leaves :p

that man most likely girlbossed iron exit clauses. the moment ferrari don't stick to their promises, he would likely start to engage with other offers immediately. he's in his prime, and if he loses all faith in his own team, and he cannot do anything about it, he could leave.

he's not dumb, like some people on ig or twitter make it sound like that. but he's actually really smart when it comes to negotiating from what we've seen, and we can see it on little details, like charles getting a separate contract renewal without carlos. or when they did not specify the years which is ODD as hell, def not the usual practise.

there are tiny details you can see, and im still definitely seated to see how this situation evolves. people are saying "rip lestappengate" like it's over but i believe it's quite the opposite, we're now just seeing the result of it.

charles publicly flirted with red bull to gain advantage for his ferrari negotiations, this super extra announcement was the result -- ferrari is letting him take the lead in car development, they are building a winning car FOR charles (did not mention carlos) so there are signs they may be going in the direction of charles as a leader.

only time will tell, but lestappengate essentially was about giving charles a team with a championship winning car to fight max properly on track, and if he can achieve that at his own team with this new contract, then good for him.

if not, red bull still keeps showing interest in charles, so kicking off lestappengate 2.0 wouldn't be unrealistic.

[feistyvirghoe]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ❝ 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑺 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵?? ❞ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧

*this can be taking action anywhere in your life, whatever has been on your mind that you’re contemplating, something you’re scared of doing because it brings up feelings of fear and anxiety, don’t engage if you’re not prepared for whatever comes out…just want to help you guys out if you’re nervous to do something you know you want to do, that’ll benefit you in the end :) <333*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ💓⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ i feel like this thing you are holding off on is something that would make you really happy. Emotionally satisfied, this is like a gift from the universe, this thing has you in your head obviously but i feel like there needs to be moderation with how you’ll go about this, when you decide to take action. I feel like you’re more of a logical thinker than having that natural blind faith you know, second guessing the outcome of what’s going to happen with this certain thing you’re taking a pause on. It’s your mind and i feel like that may be the whole theme for this entire PAC. I dont know why im just picking up like you not feeling like you’re good enough for this. And you are good enough, it’s the worry. That anxiety and fear surrounding this endeavor, passion project, goal etc. whatever it is, it looks so good to you from the eye and your can see that it’d make you fucking happy and feeling so fulfilled and enjoying the pleasure you get from starting this thing. Be more patient with yourself and your abilities, your progress. I just feel like you’re holding onto this idea that it wont come or if it did come or happen the way you expected or similar to what your expectation was that it’d be short lived joy. But im seeing that this is going to make you so happy. I feel like you need to balance out your feelings towards this and what i mean is taking some time to re-evaluate if this fear is coming from a real place of concern of if its just your ego telling you lies about this. Making up false scenarios, and i know that feeling because you can really get trapped in your own mind by thinking of what could really go wrong. I feel like you know what to do, but i want you guys to take some time to really take a step back from your mind and all of these overwhelming thoughts and look at the situation with more love and compassion for it but for yourself as well, dont belittle your qualities and what makes you stand out, i just feel like their needs to be more patience and to help yourself release what’s truly bothering you in your head, because the overthinking and fear is making you scared or just really hesitant to even go after this. You got this, you fucking got it and you need to see that for yourself as well, believing in what you can do, what you can also add to the plate. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [off the bat immediately im just scared, like a slight panic with you guys. I hope you all are okay, im trying to figure out why the hell you so scared to do this, because from what im seeing, this is going to boost you financially and probably even have you feeling stable and secure monetarily. And do not even say that you need people to do this, because i can also see that you have it all on your own, very self-sufficient, feeling fucking at ease once you have gotten the hang of it, its like you get past the initiation process and you’re finally adapting to the environment. Putting in that hard work and not giving up on yourself and what you can do. I feel like you’re naturally skilled in this, but here’s the thing. I feel like something struck you, it could be a relationship and not just romantic either. But this bs hit you hard and im sorry you guys. I feel like you gave your all to something and you were so excited about t6his thing but then some weird unhinged shit happened that just tore into your fucking soul. I feel like you’re feeling like “why even bother?” “why even try?” Im just getting this heaviness on your heart dude, it’s like you only got one more to give and it’s your last before you break and crumble. This journey is not easy and i know , you’re tired, worn out, feeling burnt out but it’s so worth it dude! Not you being burnt out and feeling fucking exhausted, but what you want to do is worth it my love. What would help you guys more is if you just take the time out of your day to be more kinder to yourself, more self-love, no self-hatred. You went through the weirdness, left feeling defeated and just low on gas but i can see you just picking yourself back up little by little which is okay because you dont need to rush yourself, especially comparing it to others, they dont know you and you dont know them, i feel like you may take it a little personal which is your right you know, but your have been growing and moving forward with your life, not staying stuck in this downward spiral of intense sadness, even depression. I’m feeling like you’re crossing over into new territory so it’s new and scary for you to tackle. But once you go ahead and consistently do it and keep up with this, mannnnnn, you dont even know and i see, the not knowing getting to y’all. I understand the wanting to know and the curiosity but let yourself be surprised along the way, nothing is really set in stone but doing this would just make you feel like a fucking boss! I’m wishing you lots of love and luck and blessings, i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [ okay so you guys, i feel like it’s other people around you, listening to the people around you, are they trying to influence you and tell you what to do? I dont want to come off as harsh with you guys but i feel like this may also be about you guys not taking this thing so serious. It’s like you are distracted, being led another way, its like you know exactly where you want to go but you seem to have something that’s close to you, whether it be friends or vices or even just a bad habit, this thing is causing you to feel temporarily fulfilled for a short time. When this thing seems more long-term. I mean your have the fucking power to do so, this optimism. I feel like you guys may be looking at this as like “I’ll get it done later” “it can wait another day, it’s okay.” But I didn’t really feel so in the beginning, idk im just getting that there’s some sort of weird influence making you a little ablivious to the realness of this thing. I mean it doesn’t have to be so serious, this is differing for everyone. Did you complete this already with passing colors and it brought a good amount of abundance but now you’re like not taking this as serious as you did before. Im feeling like you know already, like deep down you’re aware of your gifts and what you can do, is it the ego? I feel like you guys are like “it doesn’t matter that much because i can do what the fuck i want” your pile seems more carefree than the others, like everything has already worked out so why do you need to do more? But i mean if you’re reading this it seems like in the back of your head you want to do this. I just feel liken its outside influences, partying a lot, destructive behavior a little, talking too much with friends, well gossiping but place it where it fits. I feel like you guys may be “stuck” in your comfort zone, the area where you’re feeling so content and not wanting to leave it behind, i mean you dont have to leave anything behind, but taking a step outside of your home, your personal space, even that “comforting” mindset which we know it can keep us stuck, thinking that you wouldn’t really have to be responsible with this, because it’ll never really leave you if its for you and maybe that’s another thing, taking the spiritual terms a little too deep, like baby, we’re going to have to push ourselves to get out of this limiting thinking, you’re allowed to have more for yourself, it’s okay to want more for yourself. Especially if t5his thing is making you happy and feeling fucking complete inside. But its really giving off you ended a cycle and not to say cycles are bad, but when we get used to its for so long it can be really comforting and “peaceful” to stay there, but you know you’re capable and can do wayyyy more than you’re anticipating. I feel like some advice for you is to assess this carefully and really weigh out the options, weighing the scale. Doing what you feel is really right for you. Doing this is feel will make you feel a bit more confident in who you are what the fuck you can also do, take a step outside and breathe in the new phase of your life.] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [oh my pile fours, are you guys psyching yourself out of this? This feels like a project of some sort and you over here coming out as this courageous, strong minded, independent individual , and you seem to be fearless, but im also getting that this may be a team effort, maybe you dont like asking for help. This is something you cant do alone, or without a second opinion. You seem to have this very innovative mind, like its not that difficult for you to create or even start with your projects, but im getting there needs to be more of a lighter approach to this. You’re coming off as this extremely okay I didn’t want to say feisty lol, but yeah feisty and extremely serious. I feel like this pile goes after things without thinking, you know taking some time to look at the whole picture and then see what needs to get done. It’s just coming off as if you need to do this all alone or by yourself. I also feel like its trust issues, feeling like you have to hold onto your swords so no one will come in and snatch it away from you. I feel like you may be this way because of deceitful people in the past, people who screwed you over and manipulated the situation. Another thing here is taking action on a relationship, it doesn’t have to be, but approaching someone for something, like this makes you nervous,its either you not wanting to trust these/this people/thing/project. You’re holding something within you, and its like dying to come out, its feels like something that you have been planning for quite some time, like its been in the works just marinating and now you’re ready to present something or go after this. I just feel like there is a lot of sneakiness surrounding this, feeling like it may be too good of an opportunity, its either a good ass offer that you want to take up or this could be you offering something as well. I dont think going after this forcefully or very assertive will help much, you may come off as too strong but its okay, because there’s something called the temperance card lmao, okay being serious, you guys gotta relax and calm that stress down, its getting you fired up fr, it could be positive or negative but i feel like its something that would even have you acting/being more in that softer energy. Like doing this would bring some peace and calmness to your life. I feel like you guys may ned to let your guard down a little and loosen up the barrier, to be able to get to this, it feels like it needs to be handled with more care and love, pure love, letting yourself be naked and open in front, not literally lol but its the vulnerability and honesty with shedding the skin, taking the clothes off, clearing up your mental confusion, dont deceive yourself and dont let anyone try to even get one up on you! <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [i feel like you guys are the lil cinnamon rolls, the sweet chocolate chip cookies, not too hard and no too soft, just right. You guys have such a sweet energy its weird as soon as i tapped in, even if you may show a more assertive side to yourself i just feel like you guys are really kind and sweet underneath the front. I feel like you guys are really curious and ready to explore this new horizon, but then there’s the hesitation because you may be a bit skeptical of what’s to come when you go for this, and take the step. You have a younger bold energy to you, but also so curious, and I also feel like this would be a full circle moment for you guys. Like once you go ahead with this, it’ll feel like you’re seeing it making more sense as it plays out. I feel like you guys are extremely curious and fascinated with this, it has your focus, like something you have been keeping an eye on. Are you guys feeling like you dont really know where to start because you’re younger and newer to this, i mean you dont have to be young lmao, but its something that’s very new to you. I’m feeling like you may not even want to see past the blindfold because whatever is behind the veil is a little bit nerve wracking, does music help you guys too calm down? Like it just uplifts you, i keep getting distracted and turning my music up to jam haha. It can also be that too, you distracting your mind and letting it take you to your own paradise while you kind of ignore the elephants big ass right in front of you. I feel like you may not know what to really do, but just take your time but also taking too much time and being really patient can delay things for us to. It’s okay to do what makes you happy, if this will make you happy. I’m just feeling like you are at a crossroads and taking some time to think it through and come up with a decision, a choice that feels good for your soul, by listening to your inner wisdom, which is feel is the same as our intuition. I feel like you should think more about how this will impact you, whichever decision you make for yourself, going this or that way. But weighing out the pros and cons for too long will create all these unnecessary illusions and false narratives in your head, I swear everyone in this entire opacity has to work on getting out of their head, even me too! We tend to think and think and think so much, imagine how heavy your head feels boo. I feel like to help you out you need to put this fresher adolescent like energy to use, the curiosity of a child but also the fear of one too, nervous about the big and bad, but you have all the tools you need. I feel like you have these amazing skills that you’re not putting to use, this will change a lot for your whether it may be small or big, nomn matter what, its a whole new phase that’ll open up for you. Listening to the divine whos speaking through me and even developing your amazing skills, nothing wrong with learning and even leaning on others when you need help too. its a good wake up call for you, peeling back old layers of you to bring in More abundant wisdom and also by opening yourself more to this, you’ll gain some knowledge and learn more about your own power that lies within you.] ❞

⋆���‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ᴜ ɢᴜʏꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ, ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʜᴀʀꜱʜ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴍᴀᴏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʀᴜꜱʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇꜱꜱ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɢᴏ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪꜱʜ!!! ᴘᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴏᴏ!!!! ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[earl-grey-teacake]

so how are we feeling after that news.

I am not sure how I feel about everything since I just keep finding out more stuff and it makes me feel worse and worse. I’m sad, and upset, and it feels like a tinge of grief. Not for my own dreams or aspirations but for Logan’s. That being said, I will continues writing my Baby!Loscar AU and I will continue/ start my other Loscar fics. I feel like it is a tough time and I hope to make it a little bit lighter.

I think my biggest feeling is overall disdain and disgust for how Williams went about this. My biggest issue is the whole situation being portrayed as “Williams is a business, this was a business decision. No emotion here” Businesses are not faceless entities, they are teams of people. It’s why teams put a lot of effort in PR and companies invest so much in HR. They are comprised of people and we as spectators and fans also play a role in the business that is Williams. Fandoms are profitable, fan content keeps people engaged, and those who are engaged spend money. This decision has shot William’s PR and whatever goodwill they managed to achieve last year. Logan is a martyr in the eyes of fans and James Vowles has come off as a deranged man. For the past month, any comments to the media are either of him passive-aggressively calling Logan a failure or thirsting after Carlos in a way that makes me want to call HR.

This decision isn’t even a money decision either. They talk about the upgrades, and need for points but are putting their faith in a driver that is clearly being brought up from F2 too early. They are taking risks that genuinely make no sense to me and I am afraid it may damage this new rookie’s confidence on top of it.

I cannot tell if James Vowles is doing this because he wants to live a bit wild before Carlos comes, has a vendetta against Logan, or he is just off his rockers.

I am happy Logan is out of there though and wherever he goes, I go. I hope he goes to Indycar. This is not me seeing Indycar as so lesser sport where unsuccessful F1 drivers should go it. I have great admiration for Indycar and genuinely enjoy watching it more than F1. My wish for Logan to go to Indycar is for the general vibe and how friendly everyone is and for the fact that I live 3 hours away from a track and will absolutely take PTO to see Logan race.

Personal feelings are below if anyone wants to read them.

I got into F1 last year around September but really dove into it around the beginning of November. Logan was someone who never really stood out to me in the beginning but I began to notice him more and more around October and November and I couldn’t help but sympathize for him. I remember how anxious I was waiting for him to be re-signed and the relief I felt when it happened.

I wanted him to do well and succeed so desperately and as it became more and more apparent that James and Williams, were doing, I became a bigger and bigger fan of him. I know I’ve mentioned it briefly on here before but near the end of last year and the first half of this year, I was dealing with a toxic workplace and an abusive supervisor. As the months went on, the treatment towards me got worse and worse and so did Williams’s treatment of Logan. Our workplace started to mirror each other.

The remarks, the veiled threats, the passive-aggressive comments that points to the same message “you’re under-performing, you’re not good enough”. Most of all, the expectation to practically perform miracles with tools and equipment that was vastly behind the rest of the field. I know very well how heavy and oppressive the work environment must have been. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to have to be doing it everyday, to have to perform for the public like everything is fine, and take the abuse from James, from journalists and commentators, and social media. I was already breaking under my supervisors treatment of me, I definitely would have snapped in Logan’s shoes. However, while my supervisor got kicked out of their position, Logan was the one who got kicked off the team. I do hope he takes the summer to enjoy himself and heal.

I feel so bad for him and I’m so upset at how I didn’t know this was his last race. I had Abu Dhabi planned out thinking that was going to be Logan’s last and now I’m just a bit crushed.

[genderkoolaid]

1. The Revolution Is a Relationship

[…] Something that worries me about social justice communities is that we tend to conceptualize “revolution” as a product, as a place and time that we expend all of our energy and anger to create – often without regard to the toll this takes on individuals and our relationships. [...] In our – often justified – anger and disappointment at the failure of ourselves and our communities to uphold the dream of revolution, we lash out. [...] What if revolution isn’t a product, some distant promised land, but the relationships that we have right now? What if revolution is, in addition to – not instead of – direct action and community organizing, the process of rupture and repair that happens when we fuck up and hold each other accountable and forgive?

2. The Oppressor Lives Within

[…] I’ve started to believe that I can’t engage in authentic activism, I can’t create positive change without recognizing and naming my own participation in the oppressive systems that I’m trying to undo. Coming from this position, I’m forced to have compassion for the people around me who I see also participating in oppression, even as I’m also angry at them. With compassion comes understanding, and with understanding comes belief in the possibility of change. When we become capable of holding that contradiction in our hearts – when we can be angry and compassionate at the same time, at ourselves as well as others – entirely new possibilities for healing and transformation emerge.

3. Accountability Starts in the Heart

[…] I often wonder how different things would look if it were more of a cultural norm to understand accountability as a practice that comes from within the individual, instead of a consequence that must be forced onto someone externally. What if we taught each other to honor the responsibility that comes with holding ourselves accountable, rather than seeing self-accountability as a shameful admission of guilt? What if we could have real conversations with each other about harm, in good faith? In a culture of indispensability, I cannot ignore someone when they tell me I have harmed them – they are precious to me, and I have to try to understand and respond accordingly. […]

4. Perpetrator/Survivor is a False Dichotomy

There is an intense moral dynamic in social justice culture that tends to separate people into binaries of “right” and “wrong.” […] “Perpetrators” are considered evil and unforgivable, while “survivors” are good and pure, yet denied agency to define themselves. Among the many problems of this dynamic is the fact that it obscures the complex reality that many people are both survivors and perpetrators of violence (though violence, of course, exists within a wide spectrum of behaviors). Within a culture of disposability – whether it be the criminal justice system of the state or community practices of exiling people – the perpetrator/survivor dichotomy is useful because it appears to make things easier. It helps us make decisions about who to punish and who to pity.

5. Punishment Isn’t Justice

[…] It isn’t inherently wrong to want someone who hurt you to feel the same pain – to want retribution, or even revenge. But as Schulman also writes, punishment is rarely, if ever, actually an instrument of justice – it is most often an expression of power over those with less. How often do we see the vastly wealthy or politically powerful punished for the enormous harms they do to marginalized communities? How often are marginalized individuals put in prison or killed for minor (or non-existent) offenses? As long as our conception of justice is based on the violent use of power, the powerful will remain unaccountable, while the powerless are scapegoated.

6. Nuance Isn’t an Excuse for Harm

[…] [I]ndispensability means that everyone – especially those have experienced harm – are precious and require justice. In other words, we cannot allow the fact that something is complicated or scary prevent us from trying to stop it. Trapped in the perpetrator/survivor dichotomy of understanding harm, it might seem like we have only two options: to ignore harm or to punish perpetrators. But in fact, there are often other strategies available. They involve taking anyone’s – everyone’s – expressions of pain seriously enough to ask hard questions and have tough conversations. They involve dedicating time and resources to ensuring that anyone who has been harmed has the support they need to heal.

7. Healing Is Both Rage and Forgiveness

If the revolution is a relationship, then the revolution must include room for both rage and forgiveness: We have to be able to tolerate the inevitability that we will be angry at one another, will commit harm against one another. When we are harmed, we must be allowed the space to rage. We need to be able to express the depth of our hurt, our hatred of those who hurt us and those who allowed it to happen – especially when those people are the ones we love. It is up to the community to hold and contain this rage – to hear and validate and give it space, while also preventing it from creating further harm. […]

8. Community Is the Answer

[…] Perhaps the reason we tend to recreate disposability culture and trauma responses over and over is because we are all, secretly, that frightened runaway kid, constantly searching for a home, but not really believing we can find one. Maybe we don’t create communities of true interdependence – of indispensability, of forever-family – because we are terrified of what will happen if we try. But I believe, have to believe, that true community is possible for me and for all of us. The truth is, we can’t keep going on the way we have been. We need each other, need to find each other, in order to survive. And I have faith that we can.

[zootopiathingz]

If you really think about it, the ship where Alastor would be involved in that would most likely be canon so far would be Charlastor.

I mean, he despises Lucifer and sees Vox as not worth his time, so he's not gonna be throwing himself all over them anytime soon. Nearly everyone he interacts with besides the three women he's friends with, he's either indifferent, respectable or hostile to, but towards Charlie? This man has allowed her to touch him without permission, stated multiple times that he has faith in her beliefs and even handed her his source of power. Twice.

I'm aware he's doing all this with some underlying motive, but you can't deny he won't do all this for just anyone. I really can't imagine him all comfortably curled up in Angel's bed or getting handsy with Lucifer (He wipes his hands after touching him, man really doesn't like him at all). I support all ships with Alastor but if we're looking at this at a canon perspective, Alastor interacts with Charlie the most and will continue to interact with her as the show goes on, it's more possible to happen in a sense with Alastor.

Plus with all the romantic cues the show has (Unintentionally?) given so far, with the part where both Charlie and Alastor are laying on the heart shaped pillow but Charlie falls off the bed while Alastor remains on top off it, it seems that there could be a very small possibility that there might be an unrequited crush on Alastor's part.

Yeah, it's a stretch, but hey, he didn't have to lay in that bed. He could have stayed standing, looming over Charlie to show that he might be helping her but he still sees himself as above her and in control of the situation. But! Someone still animated him on that bed! They still animated him on that heart shaped pillow right beside Charlie! They didn't have to, but they still did and my minds still reeling after that fact.

No because you’re absolutely correct here.

Out of any of the characters in the series for Alastor to end up with, if he were to have a romantic subplot of any kind, it would be Charlie. They have the most potential together as a pairing and there have been so many little hints and visual cues that I’m honestly shocked that a romance plot isn’t where their relationship is going.

I genuinely cannot see Alastor ever engaging in anything romantic or physical with Vox or Lucifer in any way. And whenever I say that people like to excuse me of hating gay ships (which I clearly don’t. I am queer, and I love seeing queer ships that actually make sense and have good chemistry, and not just because they’re gay). It’s because he canonly hates men and is much kinder towards women—except for Vaggie lol. Yes, ship Alastor with whoever you want. It’s not my place to tell you if your ship is bad or not. I honestly don’t care because it’s your opinion and as long as you’re having fun with it, that’s all that matters!

But like anon is saying here, if we’re looking at it from a canon viewpoint, let’s think about it. Again, Alastor clearly doesn’t like men and can’t even be bothered to shake Lucifer’s hand without being disgusted. There have been three women who could be potential love interests. First is Mimzy, which I can see there may have been some flirtation here and there in the past, or even an unrequited crush on her part. But with her basically using him to get her out of trouble all the time, I can’t see them going beyond their on-and-off friendship. Then there’s Rosie, who he’s obviously very comfortable around and lets her touch and grab him as she pleases—which he wouldn’t let slide with any male characters in the show. And the Radiorose ship is cute I admit, but to me they’re a pair of gossip buddies who would maybe pretend to be in a relationship if needed, but otherwise their feelings don’t go any further than platonic.

And so that leaves us with Charlie. When I first watched the pilot I absolutely assumed they were going to have some kind of slow burn, not only because the idea of the princess of Hell and this feared Radio Demon falling for each other is so intriguing, but generally just the way they acted with each other. In like a span of eight minutes they were happily dancing together, with Alastor calling her one of a kind, tossing her around and making improvements to her dream hotel.

You can imagine how surprised I was when I found out they weren’t canon and weren’t going to be in the actual show. Like, I was legit going “🤨🤨🤨” and this was before I was even in the fandom lmao

And thank you so much for mentioning that scene in her bedroom because…

What is this. What do you mean the mfs making this show drew out this scene, carefully looked at every detail for the final product, and went “yup👍” if there wasn’t supposed to be something more going on here???

Like seriously if you’ve never watched this episode and you saw these two frames, what exactly would you assume is going on here? Be honest with me

But ya know, charlastor “isn’t canon” (so they say🙄) so the animators here were def trolling us lol

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[thedaredevilsgirl]

False God

Priest!Stephen Strange X Reader

Warnings: Small discussion, SMUT: sex without a condom.

Hi, this is Ray. In this short excerpt we have Father Strange so in love with one of his devotees, since a little forbidden love never hurt anyone. This excerpt was taken from a story I've been planning for some time, inspired in Thou Shalt Not Covet by @daydreamtofiction and the song False God by Taylor Swift. Please let me know what you think and if you think I should start posting the first chapters of this story. I hope you enjoy it. -Forgive any grammatical errors, English is not my first language-

⋆ ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏❂﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏⋆

... "I need an answer, God," the priest says, now on his knees, begging the Lord to respond and help him with his dilemma. "I just need an answer."

It is at that exact moment that Strange hears the heavy church door opening and closing, rising to look at the candlelit hallway that highlighted a silhouette so familiar to him.

Stephen feels his breath falter; the vision before him, walking toward him, was wicked and sinful for his thoughts, yet still seemed deliciously divine.

You were there, soaked from the heavy rain falling outside, the dress you had worn earlier at the festival now clinging to your body.

"It’s late," Stephen says, after gathering the courage to finally speak to you. "What are you doing here? You should be home by now."

"I need to confess," you explain, your voice trembling, perhaps a little nervous.

"It’s past midnight, the church is closed, come back tomorrow," he didn't mean to be harsh, but thought it was the only way to get you to leave quickly, though he was wrong.

"I need to confess," you repeat, making it clear you wouldn’t leave until you got what you wanted. "God’s house doesn’t close to a believer, no matter the hour. You, of all people, should know that, Father Strange."

Being called Father Strange by you hurt. Just days ago, you were close, perhaps even friends. He had grown used to hearing your sweet voice calling him Stephen, until he had given in to temptation during the trip to New York. Hearing you be so polite with him now reminded him of how greatly he had erred.

"You’re right," Stephen knew he would regret it, but he already felt so guilty for everything he had done with you that he couldn’t deny your wishes any longer.

The two walk silently to the large confessional in the corner of the church. He could hear everything even through the wooden wall, listening to your trembling breath as you prepared to speak, watching through the small window as you made the sacred sign of the cross.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," you begin.

"Tell me what happened, and we will decide your penance."

"I am engaged," the small reminder of this fact made Stephen’s heart ache in his chest. "And he is a good man, a really good man, but I don’t love him. In fact, I feel like I’ve never truly loved him, but my family adores him, and this union would be great for everyone."

"The church does not support a marriage built without true love," the priest says, trying to hide from both you and himself that, in reality, he was more than pleased to know of your lack of love for that idiot your family had chosen for you.

"I know, I know, but I must marry him; it’s what everyone expects of me, what they’ve always wanted for me, and I simply cannot ruin their plans," the pain in your voice and exhaustion was palpable, trying to be the perfect daughter and feeling like you had to carry the world on your shoulders. "So I must marry him, try to love him, respect him, and be faithful to him," you take a deep breath before continuing. "But that’s the problem, Father. I’m in love with another man. More than that, I lay with this man, and forgive my words, but damn, I loved every bit of it."

Stephen says your name in a warning tone. "I think we’d better not talk about this," he doesn’t have time to finish reprimanding you, as you quickly interrupt him.

"But the next day, he left me. He said the best night of my life had been a mistake that couldn’t be repeated, said we should stay away from each other. Suddenly, I lost a faithful friend, a confidant, and he broke my heart."

"Stop, please," he pleads.

"And I should be happy about that," your tone rises, emotions overwhelming you. "I should kneel before God and be thankful, go back to living my life as if none of this had happened, but I can’t."

"Stop," Stephen repeats, not knowing what he could do if this went on.

"I can’t, because all I can think about is him, his voice, his advice, his touch," the sound of your footsteps in the booth is audible. "And I don’t know what to do anymore. I find myself in the middle of the night wishing he were there with me, craving his kiss, touching myself wishing he would touch me that way, desiring every part of him, desiring you."

The priest felt he might explode at any moment, give in to his temptations, and worst of all, he wanted it. He had wanted it for a long time.

The curtain on his side of the booth suddenly opens, and he finds himself face to face with you, panting, still wet from the rain, tears streaking your face.

"So tell me, Father," you move closer to where he was sitting, "tell me what I should do when all I want is you?"

"This...this isn’t right," it was the first time in years Stephen found himself stammering with nervousness.

"I KNOW, DAMN IT, I KNOW," you shout, unable to contain yourself any longer. "But I can’t, I can’t resist anymore. I’ve tried, I’ve been trying since the day I met you, and I know you’ve been trying too. Don’t lie to me."

Your hand rests gently on his face, making him sigh. He had missed your touch so much in the past weeks.

"Please, don’t do this," Strange whispers, looking at you, his beautiful blue eyes now darkened by his dilated pupils. He does nothing to pull away, one of his hands moving directly to your waist.

"Tell me to leave, and I will. I’ll only step into this church again on my wedding day, and then you’ll never see me again. But I know you want me here, I know you want me."

He couldn’t resist anymore, not now, not ever.

Stephen pulls you tightly by the waist, guiding you to sit on his lap, finally kissing you again. This time was different; it wasn’t gentle. Instead, he poured all the longing he had felt into that kiss, aggressively holding you tightly as if you might slip away from his arms at any moment, his hand moving up the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair, deepening the kiss even more.

"I missed you," you whisper between kisses.

"I don’t think I could put into words how much I missed you."

His other hand slides down one of your thighs, removing the friction of the wet fabric of your dress from your body. The only thing you could feel in that moment was the immense pleasure of his body’s heat against yours, sighing in pleasure as his finger neared the wetness already forming in your panties.

You are quick to unzip his pants and touch his already hard cock.

Everything happens quickly, both of you burning with desire, just wanting to feel each other and quench the longing that had consumed you for weeks.

He doesn’t even bother removing your panties, just pushing them aside and making you slide down onto his cock, a long moan escaping your lips, tears of pleasure welling up in your eyes.

You move, experimenting with the different position, holding onto him even tighter, watching him and unable to contain your sounds of delight with each new movement.

Stephen feels himself nearing the edge, and he doesn’t care if he’s coming too quickly. All he could think about in that moment was how beautiful you looked riding him, the most divine vision he had ever seen in his life. If he were to go to hell for this, it didn’t matter—it was worth it.

He wraps a finger around your necklace, with its silver crucifix, pulling you in for one last kiss as the two of you reach your climax.

You rest your head on his shoulder, recovering, feeling his arms holding you tightly.

"Don’t leave me, Stephen, please," you whisper. "I need you."

"I won’t, not ever," his hand gently caresses your back, comforting you. "I promise you."

⋆ ﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏❂﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏⋆

@ironstrange1991 (You commented that I could tag you in the posts about Stephen, so I hope you like it )

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my next stories 💞

[darth-memes]

I really mean it. Don't trust any review that you see online about anything Star Wars. Specially the Acolyte and the latest series. You would be surprised how many are made in bad faith, and with the Acolyte they have multiplied. Talk to your friends that have actually watched it and talk about it in a reasonable way. It's ok if you don't like the series or decide is not your thing, as someone who has really liked it, I know that it's far from perfect. Don't engage with reviews online unless you really really trust the person, because many are made with bad faith and/or nostalgia-tinted glasses that honestly make people forget how the original trilogy really is. It's the reason I stopped reading or watching ANYTHING resembling a review related to Star Wars because it is surprising how easy it turns into a toxic rant that many times can be boilt down into racism and misoginy.

Honestly, even avoiding all of that, with the Acolyte I almost burnt out of the fandom of how terrible it was. I luckily didn't received any hate myself but I have a friend who posts information and fun facts between other things (doesn't do reviews, or opinions, it's mostly all factual(if you have an instagram follow him in @skynobi_starwars, he is always on top of the latest news and posts frequently but without spaming)) on instagram and he was showing me the amount of comments just spewing hate whenever he posted anything about the series and it was disgusting. He said that there had always been some, but they had basically multiplied.

But that's his situation, mine was in real life. I have a coworker who also loves Star Wars and his mask fell off when on episode 3 the wItches showed up and suddenly all of his critiques were about the amount of black people and lesbians that were there. By the next episode everything was just shit and how they should fire the entire team. Basically screaming and being impossible to talk to. Which honestly made me really sad because he had always been a person with who I could talk to about anything Star Wars related. Worst of all, a younger coworker who was wondering if to watch the series entered into watching "reviews" that were outright lying about what happened in the episodes or of people that straight up didn't watch it. He showed me a few and they were all the same. I had to spend a good while proving to him how the series was review bombed even before starting and just proving almost every lie those people were telling and how most of it. It was exhausting and terrifying, I was also really worried because this coworker is very young and what he showed me bordered some alt-right beliefs that should be near NOBODY. And, holy shit, was this a slide to the far right pipeline.

The only reason I didn't burn out is because I have a trusted group of friends with whom I could comment the episodes and have fun making jokes about it. Curiously, my dad also watched it and enjoyed it. But that's basically that's all I had to reduce my feedback of Star Wars for WEEKS to not burn out with how everything was going both online and real life.

And I know that there's a lot of toxic parts of the Star Wars fandom. My recommendation is not engage with any of the big names in the fandom (you know who I am referring to, specially in Youtube). Again, it's not that you cannot be critical, there is a lot to be critical in Star Wars, there is also much that one may dislike, but there is a line. And a lot of people that called themselves reviewers crossed and are so far away in their delusion of how anything that Disney does becomes an attack against them that they will never be able to enjoy the saga again. But raging like that will just result in another Rise of Skywalker, not another Empire Strikes Back.

Instead, look for friends with who you enjoy talking about Star Wars and have fun watching, playing, reading, etc with the saga. Because at the end of the day that's what we want, to have fun with it and enjoy the journey. Sometimes it may disappoint, but if you are always looking for that like a big part of the fandom that posts online, you are never going to enjoy it again.

And isn't Star Wars better when you focus on what makes you happy about it than on what you didn't like?

(Also, again, watch out for the people who are being racist, mysoginistic, homophobic... I can't emphasize how even I, that I try to curate as much as I can my experience in the fandom, I found them fast this time)

[lemotmo]

I'm sighing at how annoying everything is. But this is all probably pretty accurate.

Q. I don't know if you've seen the old tweets and their vile language but I won't be able to do it if he stays around. I love this show and it would hurt terribly to have to walk away but I cannot and will not tolerate him.

A. I will admit that I try to avoid Twitter as much as possible because it's just an awful space to occupy, but I did receive the texts from a mutual and I am not surprised by their tone. But I'm going to be very honest with you here. Tim doesn't care. And Lou definitely doesn't care. They don't care, anon. Lou only cares about the attention you all are feeding him, and you all are feeding him constant attention. And 911 as a show has a history of problematic actors. Their vetting system is non-existent. I love Michael Grant, but Rockmond Dunbar is a garbage can of a human being. Something the show was well aware of long before his exit. Edy Ganem, who played Marisol, was blatantly and gleefully homophobic and transphobic for her entire run on the show. Meagan West, who played Taylor, I don't recall being openly hateful or discriminatory until the beginning of her exit, but from that point on she was vile, and openly hated on several members of the cast. This is not a new issue from 911 actors. But the only thing Tim cares about is that people are talking about his show. Lou will stay until Tim decides otherwise (I personally think he's already filmed his exit but I digress).

Like you I love this show, but from day one I have been an Evan Buckley girl. If this piece of shit ends up being Evan Buckley's endgame I will also not be sticking around. Many, many people will not be sticking around. But he's not going to be Buck's endgame. However, nothing we say or retweet or post about will speed up his exit. I know it's hard to ignore how truly repulsive he appears to be as a human being, but the show isn't interested in that. He's racist, ableist, homophobic (don't @ me a person can play gay for pay and still be homophobic, see Rockmond Dunbar for proof) and in not all shocking news we also now know he's sexist. The complete picture of maga grossness. But he genuinely enjoys how much we hate him. Please stop tweeting him. He's enjoying the fact that you hate him. He likes it. He likes every bit of the attention good and bad. And so do his fans. Talking about him and @ him constantly is only feeding into his desire to engage more with it. STOP DOING IT. It's not hard. I have never tweeted him or tagged a post with their ship name. It's not hard guys. Find a different way to tag your stuff and tell your followers if they don't want to see it they need to filter the new tag you have come up with. Putting the word anti in front of it doesn't matter. Don't use the ship name. If everyone else collectively decided to just stop @ him or tagging their ship name most of the attention would erode quickly. Because there are more antis than not but we're constantly contributing to the attention. And he's loving it. Stop doing it if for no other reason than the fact that it will piss him off if people stop coming for him. He's not worth the energy.

I hate it. I hate that he will forever have been Buck's first. I get it. I hate it. And I am someone who genuinely thought the coming out episode was lovely and well executed. But it's forever tainted and I get it ( and I will never forgive the prick for taking that episode, and that moment away from us). I want better for Buck and I want better for Oliver. And better is coming. I know the waiting sucks and that everyone is exhausted by the entire experience. And it's scary to have to put your faith in Tim because Tim doesn't always make the best decisions, but this is where we are. We are 5 episodes into an 18 episode season. And Tim will take however long he wants to take to play things out. But for your own sanity stop giving that man the attention he's desperately begging for. I know it sucks, anon. And I wish I could say something that would make the waiting easier, and I do think he's filmed his last scene even if it's not in episode 6. His willingness to engage in posts that openly take shots at Oliver and Ryan seem to indicate he's done filming. We just have to wait and see what episode that turns out to be. 💗

Yeah, pretty much this.

I never use any of the shipname tags nor the anti tags. I just made up a set of tags that worked for me and have no connection to the full shipname. I never mention the shipname in my posts either, unless they're in an ask someone dropped in my inbox.

Block whomever you need to block to get some peace on your dash and just move on. I have done exactly that and it has made such an immense difference. You should really try it.

None of this is worth any of our time or energy.

I know we're all tired. Believe me, I fully understand. I feel like it's been years and in reality it was only a mere few months. But the end is near now. It's in sight.

We know better things are coming up for Buck, so let's focus on that. And let's not forget to give Eddie some love as well. As Buck is Ali's favourite character on 911, mine is Eddie. I'm a proud Eddie girl. I recognise myself so much in him. I want him to finally be happy with Christopher and Buck by his side.

Soon.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[the-whumpening]

Re: Anonymous hate messages

[Image ID: Screenshot of an anonymous message sent to me, @the-whumpening. Several lines have been annotated by me with colored highlights. All text has been transcribed exactly as typed. The message reads:

i would not be protecting a (yellow) pedophile and incest supportor (/end yellow) but for each their own!:)))

(green) we do not claim (/end green) (blue) her. she (/end blue) (green) is not even doing "whump" at this point. (/end green) just plain (yellow) depraved pedoincest fantasy stories (/end yellow) while thinking (blue) she (/end blue) has (purple) one more personality every week. people do not need to see that, (/end purple) it is not okay. none of it is. (orange) maybe all those bans should have been a sign. /End Image ID]

As expected, I received my first ever hate message after talking about the situation with "antis" attacking whump community members. The "proship"/"anti-proship" debate has been around for fucking ages, and I'm personally sick of it, but I thought this would be a good teachable moment for any younger/less-internet-savvy folks here.

This ^ is trolling. Whether they believe everything they said or not, ultimately their goal was to rile up emotions and cause friction. Having been on the internet a good, long time (my main blog is from like 2009, y'all), I have seen my fair share of trolls. I've fallen for a few, too. It's inevitable. But to save your sanity and help you all deal with users like this, I've decided to share this message and break down the clues that told me it's not worth interacting with.

Yellow Highlights: What I've highlighted in yellow are the "scare words," I'll call them. They're flinging the most extreme, most obscene terms they can think of at the situation, even if it doesn't fit, because they're trying to scare me in to either complying or arguing. Nobody looks good if they're "arguing for" incest or pedophilia. They're setting up a no-win situation where my position looks absurd and unsupportable. Edit to add: my position, by the way, is that you can write/make whatever you want as long as you tag it appropriately and post it where it abides by the Terms of Service, which my friend did. I do not support censorship of any kind. I didn't think it needed to be said but I don't "support" real life pedophilia and incest, either. No one does, including my friend who was banned. That's a nonsense claim.

Blue Highlights: I referred to the specific user who got banned by his preferred pronouns in my original post. I exclusively used he/him, multiple times. By using she/her in this message, I know this user isn't arguing in good faith because either A) they didn't read my post clearly and think it's about someone else, or B) they're intentionally misgendering my friend. You cannot argue with someone who isn't approaching in good faith.

Green Highlights: This anon says that "we" don't claim the user I mentioned as a part of the whump community and that "[he's] not even doing "whump" anymore." Here we have a logical fallacy: that user doesn't belong here because they're "not a real whump writer." They've essentially made up a rule to exclude this person, and that justifies (to them) how that person was treated. (Who is "we," by the way? Anon is implying that they are aligned with the majority of the community, thus threatening to place me as an outsider.)

Purple Highlights: Blatantly ableist rhetoric towards someone who presumably has Dissociative Identity Disorder. As above, they're trying to justify why it's okay to bully and harass someone off the platform. "People do not need to see that." Nonsense. We don't exclude anyone from the community on the basis of their disability. Once again, Anon is not engaging in good faith.

Orange Highlight: Finally, their closing line feels like a threat. They claim that this user should have expected to be harassed, even that they deserved it. They imply that being banned/reported automatically implies guilt, regardless of the fact we know tumblr staff is less than charitable regarding bans--especially with queer and disabled users, and double especially anyone who posts any kind of remotely mature content (like your standard whump fare). We all remember waves of transfem users being banned out of the blue this year, as well as anyone sticking up for them. It happens all the time. I also mentioned in my original post that this user had been mass reported multiple times which led to his bans, which I think the gravity of is missed here. He was targeted, multiple times, by a ton of people falsely accusing him of breaking Terms of Service. Mass reports are rarely trustworthy, imho, and especially not if they happen to the same user multiple times. You know what most folks do if they don't like a person's content or behavior? They block them and move on. Maybe a single, accurate report if it seems necessary, but a reasonable person should never sic their followers on other users to mass report or harass. It's bad internet etiquette, and it has been for decades. The golden rule of the internet: if you don't like someone, block them and move on! If it sucks, HIT DA BRICKS!

And that's why I did not respond directly to this anonymous message. Nothing in its content gave me any indication that Anon and I could have a real conversation and gain an understanding of one another. I hope this helps some of you deal with any potential hateful messages you receive. The goal, above all, is to push you to an emotional high and make you have an angry outburst on them. That's what trolls feed off of. And if there's one thing being on the internet for longer than some of you have been alive has taught me: don't feed the trolls. Do not engage. Do not argue. Delete or block, and move on as much as possible. Turning off anonymous asks (or asks in general!) is always okay. Remember: you alone control your internet experience. You curate what you do and don't want to see and what kind of interactions you allow. Blocking is always an option. Turning off replies is always an option. Filtering tags is always okay. Be better than these folks, and remember you are in control of what you see and do--but you cannot control anyone else.

Side note: I did get a very lovely message from someone (who I will not name to prevent harassment) showing me support and being really kind, so that 1000% makes up for shitty messages like this.

[k-dokja]

Wow, it has been a year since I last wrote something for him.

Summary: Your relationship is strange and perplexing. Neither of you mind it, it's no one else's business.

There is a line.

A clear line between you and Jonggun that you’ve accepted from the day you were introduced to him. The line which serves to be an invisible barrier between the two of you, thinner than thread but thick enough to keep the two of you from crossing it.

You can’t say you care for it. Not when you have no intention of crossing the line. Jonggun, however, does whatever he wants and he seldom thinks about the consequences of his actions if what he does bring him personal gratification. Because of that, on more than one occasion, you’ve seen him toeing the line, having a whole foot over even. You always patiently watched to see what he will do next, but after the third time this happened, you came to the conclusion that he only wanted to see you hold your breath in anticipation.

Afterwards, you stop caring.

While formality dictates that the two of you need to be faithful during your engagement, he cannot care less about it and the idea is appalling for you. Neither of you cares enough about the other to need some misguided loyalty. Even if you did, you doubt you’d ever receive it from him. You save yourself the grief by never bothering to care about it. He doesn’t have a problem with his freedom either. All is well in the world.

Until it isn’t.

“So, what are you to him, anyway?”

Joongoo, too nosy for his own good, always has a way to squirm his way into matters that shouldn’t be his to care about. You don’t really mind. You never bother to make sense of him, he’s useful enough that all of his downsides stop being a problem.

Tolerable enough that sometimes it amuses you to entertain him.

“Business partners,” you reply without glancing up from your phone. It wouldn't be your first choice to spend your free time lounging around with Joongoo, but there are worse options, you guess.

“Naur,” Joongoo says, “I’m business partner with him, business nemeses-with-benefits depending on days, but you are not his business partner.”

You glance at him. Trying to figure out what’s going on his pretty little head is a fool’s errand. You don’t even know where his nonsense begins and where his sense ends. At least, you aren’t so busy that his probing would become a bother.

“Pardon?” You say. “Him and I, we have common business ventures and same goals for expansion. What would we be if not business partners?”

Joongoo clicks his tongue, “You people sleep with your business partners?”

You snort, more amused by his misunderstanding than offended. “We aren’t sleeping together.” If this has been a year ago, you’d have said you don’t know where he gets the idea from. At this point in time, however, you’ve weathered enough people getting the wrong idea that his assumption sounds trivial to your ears.

“Aren’t you?” Joongoo asks, “Then what’s this weird vibe I’m getting from you two?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” you resist smirking, you truly do, “what’s this exact vibe you see in us?”

He shrugs, “Dunno, like, you’re too comfortable with each other and shit,” he says, “either you’ve done the tango naked or something else is going on here.”

“I like your imagination. Very vivid.” You narrow your eyes at him but say nothing more about it. The discussion alone is silly and entertaining him for this long is the extent of your generosity.

"You know I'm right," he grumbles, "Even if you aren't sleeping together, there's something there. You'd be lying if you said there isn't."

You've returned to your phone by this point, and your attention to him is torn in half but at least you continue to answer, "Well, of course there's something there. We're engaged to be wed and until either of us found it enough of a nuisance to break the engagement off, we're bound by this thin thread of obligation we cannot care less for."

"Is that what you think?"

A third voice. Masculine. Familiar, and deeper than Joongoo's. You don't even need to look up to see Jonggun entering the room. You don't have to see him to know what face he's making either. Utterly impartial and mildly amused, the bare minimum of expression.

"Isn't it the truth?" You say. "Pretending otherwise would only be kidding ourselves."

Jonggun stops behind you, his hand is set on the back of your chair. He dips low enough that when he speaks, you feel his breath fan against your ears. The only indication that it affects you is the slightest twitch at the corner of your mouth. One you doubt he can see but know it's there anyway.

"And what if I want otherwise?"

You turn to level your eyes with his, your smile saccharine sweet. "If you wish for an early death then you should take the matter into your own hands, don't involve me in it." With that said and done, you go back to your phone, and your interest in the entire conversation vanishes.

"You're sure she's the nicest one out of us?" Joongoo drawls.

You don't need to see to know Jonggun is smiling when he says next, "Was there ever a doubt?"

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Bad Faith, Fandom, and Respect

All right. You know what? Screw it. I saw one post I just cannot ignore anymore that encapsulated all of my problems with the fandom right now. Personal rant incoming.

I understand that there's a nuance to the discussion of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, and that there are people going a little too far with both their critiques and their support of the show. But oh my God, I'm tired of being straw-manned and made fun of for legitimate critiques of the show.

I just used the block button on someone in this fandom for the first time. Some of you might think I'm overreacting for this, but I saw a post that I could not on any level stand. This person, who I will not name names of, because I'd rather just block them and never deal with their level of bad faith again, took their one legitimate criticism of those of us who critique the show, the back and forth on whether or not Izzy's death was homophobic or not, and used it as the first in a literal list of straw man critiques that no one I've read in the OFMD Critical tag has made (and I check it like once a day bc I like reading meta, sorry), proceeding to absolutely make fun of the legitimate critiques that people have of the show, parodying them in the worst possible ways. They took our legitimate critiques about everything from the sexist handling Zheng Yi Sao's character, the absolute ableism of the finale, the questionable optics of the handling of trauma, etc. and stretched them into things that they very much were not (two examples were that we were crying ableism bc of something to do with seagulls and that we thought the problem in the Stede&Zheng dynamic was the "emotional labor" involved).

Now I'm pretty sure this post was a joke. I *think* it was a joke. But how in the world am I supposed to feel comfortable in the main section of a fandom like this when the comments and replies to this post were full of people agreeing sincerely that this is what the critical section of the fandom is like? How am I supposed to feel when I just see people making fun of me for my analysis of the show? I love this show. I adore season 1 and I'm clearly still making fan related content (moodboards) for season 2 along with my critiques.

Sure, I vibe way more with fanfiction than the actual canon at this point, but I still genuinely engage with the show. And to have the critiques that I made in good faith, regarding issues that I sincerely care about such as ableism, sexism, homophobia, and the handling of trauma, made fun of and taken out of context and straw-manned to their extreme, makes me feel so absolutely unwelcome in this fandom.

Other than keeping up with the couple of fan series that I'm currently still reading, I don't know if I can stay in this fandom any longer. I can't say that I'm excited for the new season if this is the kind of response that any good faith critique of the show is going to get. I can't say that I feel safe or comfortable when there are this many people ready to dog pile on me for a critique I made with ACTUAL TEXTUAL EVIDENCE to back it up.

I would like to thank all the people who have been making excellent critiques of the show. Their meta-analysis is what got me into making my own critiques, which I was nervous about making in any other fandom. I don't think I've in any way tagged them all, but just a few I can remember off the top of my head. Go read their critiques/meta- it's really good!

@sky-fire-forever @carrymelikeimcute @blue-b-bro @bougiebutchbinch @treesofgreen @sixstepsaway @alex51324

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has engaged with my mood boards or my critiques or anything else that I've made, as well as the amazing writers and artists in this fandom (such as @ruecrown, @aletterinthenameofsanity, @fool-for-luv, and @possumsmushroom). You guys have kept me going with my love for the show and engaging with it for a while now. Despite the stuff that is making me take a step back now, I really did love this while it lasted! I'm still planning on making a few more mood boards, but other than that, I'm going to take a step back from engaging.

Hope this post can spread enough support/joy your way to counteract the ache I'm currently feeling!

Sincerely,

Ashley (aka @khruschevshoe)

[keshetchai]

As someone who enjoys religion blogging/discussions, I've come to realize that it's a good practice to be aware of the general signs/symptoms of religious-OCD thinking (aka scrupulosity), because if the conversation is taking on all the hallmarks of scrupulosity, it's actually a definitive sign that we cannot meaningfully and compassionately engage in a conversation about religion in a healthy way. I've actually had this play out a significant number of times online, and when I realized what it was, I also began to realize that the intrusive thoughts/obsessive and compulsive thinking are only ever fed by continuing the discussion with that person.

[[ Important edit to clarify why I am saying it's not healthy — made after I went back to look for more concrete facts about OCD or anxiety (I have GAD, not OCD, but many resources overlap since they're both anxiety disorders):

When Reassurance is Harmful — this explains how/why reassurance-seeking specifically about an OCD fear is a compulsive behavior, and engaging with reassurance-seeking interferes with recovery/management/treatment.

This table from the Anxiety Disorders Center lists key differences between Information Seeking and Reassurance Seeking.

This IOCDF page on Scrupulosity info for Faith Leaders identifies "symptom accommodation" as enabling. Two of the examples of doing this by participating in the OCD behavior are: "Engage in excessive conversation focused on if-then scenarios (e.g., "If I did this, then would X or Y happen? And what if Z was involved? How about W?")" And, "Repeatedly answering questions about ‘correct’ religious or faith practices."

That page also goes on to outline more info about reassurance seeking. "Although providing answers to (often simple!) questions may seem harmless, providing reassurance serves to maintain the anxiety disorder cycle." (This BMC psychiatry article cites a lot of related studies establishing this.)

The IOCDF page on What is OCD and Scrupulosity? ]]

Imo, the responsible thing to do is to recognize that (even if the other person hasn't outright stated it/isn't diagnosed)* the conversation is not about religion, it is about needing mental health support from professionals and experts. Talking to me, the layperson who enjoys chatting theology and my religion — is not only not helping, but is actively harmful. I'm not just talking about the person who I replied to today, either. Like I've said, I've seen this happen dozens of times in various online forums.

*[while I am against diagnosing strangers on the internet, it's important to realize A) lots of people don't know what Scrupulosity is, so it's possible they've never considered this is a mental health concern that could be treated, and that B) for the purposes of my concern, it doesn't matter if they actually have diagnosed OCD. The only thing that matters is that their thought-process causes them genuine distress/fear, and every response given to them seems to only incite new/additional distressing questions/thoughts, or further entrenches the original distress.]

Ultimately, any discussion aside from "you might want to speak to a mental health professional about scrupulosity OCD" seemingly puts me in the position of feeling as if I am being used for their self-harm. I hate that feeling. I do not want to be leverage for fear and pain. I have GAD, I despise the idea that I am making things worse.

No matter how much I love religious discussion, the answer in these cases is always "please reach out to an OCD specialist/mental health professional. I am not qualified to discuss this." And then to stop there. I have never once seen anyone stuck in this compulsive thought spiral be reassured or feel any better by hearing from someone else's approach to theology handled with things like empathy, compassion, logic, or even atheism. It doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, or how we relate to our own religion. The urge to engage in this kind of conversation in order to chat about religion is a sign that we are not equipped to help.

You can't have a conversation here, because intentionally or not, ten times out of ten, you are adding fuel to the fire. Just like people can't simply tell me something that would erase/talk me out of my ADHD/depression/anxiety disorder, you also cannot simply argue/reassure/persuade people out of scrupulosity. We should not try. We have a responsibility to consider that it's outright harmful to do so, and to disengage.

[sheareling]

lol like. yes kristen and cassandra are both fictional characters. their actions and treatment are not real its FICTION its not real. no you cannot hold fictional characters accountable that means nothing because they arent real. if what you meant is that you wish brennan or the PCs would have been harder on kristen then idk what to tell you. its a comedy show and a coming of age story. a story about growing into a better person cant happen if all the characters started as perfect angels. its also very weird to see people acting like kids should be put in jail or something for uhhhh... not being good at communicating? again. i dont know what to say. very un-nuanced, unempathetic, un-understanding way of viewing interpersonal relationships that i frankly dont want to touch with a 10-foot pole. BUT ALSO, beyond ALL of that, cassandra is a god and not a person. iirc from season 1, in the lore, gods are supposed to be physical manifestations of their followers' faith and religious belief. of course the ex-catholic dyke has an unhealthy relationship with every god she has ever had, her relationship with faith as a whole is deeply damaged. its a metaphor and a narrative tool. and its deeply disappointing to see that people are just writing off ally and their decisions as "problematic" instead of meaningfully engaging with the story as it exists, and what it is that the players are trying to say. much of the time, the players WANT you to dislike choiced their characters make! theyre not idiots! thats the whole point! so you can have a bigger and better payoff when they finally make better choices! that is /literally/ the whole point of a story. and yet some of you still could not miss the point more completely.