#I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get elements to centre using css on here help

[ljamberfantasy]

The Elf Who Would Become A Dragon

PRELUDE

Welcome visitor! What has brought you to this chamber of wonders? For what reason have you crept unto this treasure trove, so [early in the dawn/late in the evening]?

No need to answer. I can see by the hunger in your eyes that you are here for the challenge — that you hope to fill your pockets with this hoard. By all means, feel free to examine the jewels, and the coins, and especially the art, here gathered for your pleasure. See how the rubies gleam. Observe where the colours ripple and glitter in the curve of the opals. And as you pace back and forth in astonishment, notice how the piles of gold and silver shimmer like cresting waves on a restless sea.

Yes, this wealth is yours for the taking. But there are rules. One rule, in fact.

You must sit and listen to a story. After an hour has passed, so long as the tale is yet unfinished, you are free to take all that you can carry and go… but if you carry out so much as a single coin from this place, you will never hear its ending.

There is no trick: the story takes much longer than an hour to tell. It is a tale about what it means to belong; a tale about that which we choose for ourselves, and that which is chosen for us; a tale requiring patience and consideration, for the story is richer and more deeply layered than all the wealth spread before you. The tale I will tell you is about worth in all its forms — but in the end, you must decide the worth of the people I speak of, and whether each deserved the price they paid for who they were.

That is the challenge, dear visitor. And fret not, for there is no penalty should you fail to leave before my telling is done. Many before you have left this chamber with their pockets light, though I cannot say the same for their thoughts…

You are disbelieving. Perhaps you are eager to begin? Good. Sit comfortably, and I shall tell you a bittersweet tale of warmth, magic, revenge, and dragons.Listen, now, to the story of Saphienne:

The Elf Who Would Become a Dragon

or, The Fires of Her Ambition

CHAPTER 1 – The Frog and the Toad

Long before Saphienne grew into adulthood, five moments defined the woman she would become. To know these is to know her. I shall tell them to you in the order they happened, but do not mistake the telling of them for their relative importance. All mattered in different ways. All will matter, later, when you wonder why she did the things that I shall recount for you.

So:

See Saphienne as she was, the quiet young girl, ten years old. Spring was in the air, and so her hair was the rich brown of the nourishing soil — for like all elves of her kind, her hair changed colour with the seasons. She was pale, like the bark of a birch tree, and slight in build, too small to yet be gangly, too large to be unawkward. Her eyes were also the colour of spring, pale green, but these did not change with the passage of the year, only growing brighter or darker in accordance with her mood.

Which was low, then, and so her eyes were the shadowy green of late evening. She was sat on the edge of a small glade, a glade in which the boyish girls and girlish boys from her village typically played. To see how the young elves laughed and cavorted in the afternoon sunlight, aglow in their fine white clothes, you would think all was idyllic, that their joy was infectious. But Saphienne was not sharing in their joy.

She was, as I said, quiet. Softly spoken, far from outgoing, the adults in her village thought she was sweet but plain, while the other children thought she was boring, too slow to play along. They seldom invited her to join in their games, and when they were obliged to include her she was never given much attention. Not that they were intentionally cruel. To them, she was an afterthought, neither loved nor hated, neither welcomed nor turned away, and never once envied.

This was why she sat on a fallen log and watched as they played their games, not even the book on her lap able to distract her. In those days, she was a precocious reader, and would sneak books out from the small village library that she thought were not intended for her (and that the librarian pretended not to notice her take). What else was there to do, but lose herself in stories of other times and places? To hear of other people, and so live vicariously through them?

Yet the book she had taken that day was not very interesting, and while her curiosity demanded she finish it, in that moment she longed more for company than for escape. Not enough to approach the other children, but certainly enough to watch them, and feel things that no child of her age should ever have to feel.

“Saphienne!”

See now a transformation: at the sound of her name, Saphienne’s eyes lit up even brighter than the daytime, her face unguarded and smiling as she twisted around. The book slid off her lap, and she let it fall. Her attention was on the girl who was bounding through the long grass under the trees.

Kylantha was two years younger than Saphienne, nearly a full head shorter, and had none of her meekness. She also stood out, but not because of how she behaved: her hair was always bright blonde, even beyond summertime, and her ears were shorter and less pointed than those of other elves. For this reason she, too, was not invited to play, but that never stopped her from pushing her way in… when she wanted, which was not often. She preferred to spend time with her best friend, her only real friend, the only person with the patience to answer her endless, exhaustive questions.

“Saphienne! Guess what I have?” Kylantha had her hand behind her back, and she kept facing Saphienne as she sidestepped around the log, nearly tripping.

Saphienne’s nose wrinkled, though her smile remained. “Another toad?”

“It was a frog.”

“Frogs have smooth, wet skin, remember?”

“It was wet!”

Laughing, Saphienne reached down and scooped up her book as Kylantha sat. “Because you’d dropped it in the pond before you brought it to me, silly.”

“I wanted to see it swim.” She was pouting.

“I remember. And I remember it had rough skin and shorter back legs, which means it was a toad, not a frog. They’re different creatures. I told you this. Frogs aren’t toads, and toads aren’t frogs.”

Thinking on the difference, Kylantha looked down and went quiet. This usually preceded a question, and sure enough, a moment later she lifted her head. “Do you think there are half-frogs?”

Saphienne opened her mouth, then realised she didn’t know. “Maybe,” she guessed. “I don’t know if toads and frogs can make babies together.”

“How do they do it, anyway? They don’t look like they can kiss.”

Saphienne didn’t know the answer to that, either, though she was old enough to know that kissing was only part of the process. “I think there’s more than kissing. Maybe they skip that part.”

“Do frogs think toads are ugly?”

“I mean, they look nearly the same.” Saphienne stared up at the boughs overhanging the edge of the clearing, watching them sway back and forth in the breeze. “Toads crawl on land and swim, while frogs mostly swim, and that means frogs aren’t as comfortable as toads out of water. Maybe frogs envy toads. Maybe they think they’re beautiful.”

Kylantha hung on her every word. Then, she smiled to herself. “I think a half-toad would look even prettier to a frog.”

Saphienne looked back down. “Why?”

“Because they’d look like a toad, but get along better with the frogs.”

That made her giggle. “I don’t think they spend much time together.”

“Well, they should. They’re the same.”

Prepared to argue, Saphienne knew she wouldn’t win. So she just smiled, and shook her head. “Close enough. But, what do you have, if it isn’t a toad?”

Remembering that she was holding something, the younger girl gasped, and she sat up straighter. “You need to close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

“…Last time you said that, you gave me a toa–”

“It’s not a toad!”

“Is it something else with poisonous skin?”

“Neither of us got sick! And it’s not poisonous.” She was pouting again, and her brown eyes were wide. “Please, Saphienne?”

She relented. “All right.” Setting the book beside herself on the log, Saphienne closed her eyes, and held out her hands.

Kylantha kept her waiting, made sure her eyes were closed before she brought her hand around and gave Saphienne what she’d been hiding. It felt light, and soft, like it was made of fabric, but also wooden.

“You can look now.”

Saphienne looked. She was holding a drawstring pouch, made from fine cloth, onto which chips of bark had been tightly sewn in interlocking layers. Shaking it, she realised it had something inside, and when she opened it she saw a single, shining, copper coin.

“Do you like it?”

She took the coin out, held it up to the light. She’d never seen one in person before, but she’d read about them. This one was minted with a crude human face on one side, and when she turned it over she saw it had also been struck with a poor depiction of a tree. “Did you make this?”

“Yes!” Kylantha beamed. “Mother taught me how to stitch, and I’ve been learning how to make things I’ll need.”

Saphienne looked down at the pouch, recognising that the needlework was poorer than that of the traditional elven clothing they wore. “I meant the coin.”

“Oh, no. Mother gave me that. She said if I was going to have a purse, I should have something to put in it.”

“I’ve never seen one before. Humans use them for trade, don’t they?”

“I think so.”

“So…” She put the coin back in the pouch, tying it shut. “Why do you need a purse? And why does it have bits of bark on the outside?”

“It’s not for me.” She was grinning. “It’s for you.”

Saphienne blinked. “But, why do I need it?”

“So that you have somewhere to keep your coins when we travel.”

Slowly, she smiled. “We’re going to travel?”

“Of course we are! We’re going to see all the things you’ve read about.” Kylantha stood up, spread out her arms, began to spin as she spoke. “As soon as we’re grown, we’ll go on a journey. We’ll go over the mountains — and across the sea. We’ll be adventurers! We’ll see all the things there are to see, even things that no one’s seen before, and you’ll write them down in a book of your own.” Leaping up onto the log, she wobbled there, arms outstretched for balance. “That’s why it’s arm– armed– protected on the outside, so no thief can cut it open.”

Saphienne was grinning now as she looked up at her. “I’m only ten. It’ll be ninety years before I’m an adult, ninety-two for you. That’s forever.”

“Well, we can prepare! I’ll learn to fight, so you won’t need to worry.” Standing more firmly, she brought her hand against her chest. “I’ll be a knight! I’ll protect you, with my sword, and my song.”

“And what should I become?” Saphienne asked, shifting her legs so that she half-knelt on the log.

Swaying, nearly losing her balance, Kylantha sat back down with a hollow thump. “You can be whatever you want to be. I won’t mind.”

“Even a thief?”

The younger girl scowled. “As long as you give it back.”

*          *          *

Playing with the other children was of no interest to Kylantha — she wanted to explore instead. “We should go up to the lake!”

Saphienne was intimidated by the prospect. “But it’s really far away, and we’re not grown enough to go on our own,” she said. “We might get into trouble–”

“It’s just water.” Kylantha was unfazed. “Lots of water. It’s not dangerous — where did you think I got the frog from?”

“…It was a toad…”

“Same thing,” she sniffed. “No one will notice we’re gone. And who cares if we get into trouble, anyway? What’s the worst they’ll do?”

Especially back then, Saphienne had a tendency to take things literally. “Our mothers will care… and they could shout at us…”

“Mother likes when I explore.” Kylantha’s smile was as bright as her hair. “And who cares about shouting? Words don’t matter, not really. Don’t you want to see the lake? The toads might still be spawning.”

Though she was unconvinced, Saphienne had never been taken to see the lake, and she desperately wanted to… but she was, at that time, a rigidly obedient child. “Can’t we do something else?”

“Like what?” Kylantha shifted closer to her on the log. “Do you have a better idea?”

“We could go to the library–”

“Enough books!” Kylantha rolled her eyes, snatched the book from Saphienne’s hand, and held it away from her. “Today is for exploring.”

Saphienne could easily have taken the book back, if she had more confidence. Instead, she wilted slightly, then turned her mind to other ideas. “We could play hide and seek?”

“That’s not exploring.”

“We could go to your house? Or a shrine–”

“Boring…” Kylantha mimed a yawn. “Let’s go somewhere we haven’t been. Somewhere no one expects us to go…”

“Where?” Saphienne was struggling to understand what Kylantha wanted. “And what will we do, when we get there?”

“I want to see things we haven’t seen before.” Her eyes held an insistent plea. “We need to practice for when we travel.”

That made sense to Saphienne. Her uncertainty fell away as she held Kylantha’s gaze, replaced by resolve to please her friend, and the smile that grew on her lips held a measure of the other girl’s bold mischief. “Then,” she said, “I know somewhere we could go… somewhere that no one’s told us we can’t go…”

Beside her, Kylantha pouted. “But, where’s the fun in–”

“We can go to the wizard’s house.”

After her shock wore off, Kylantha reflected Saphienne’s smile.

*          *          *

Neither child understood the degree to which wizardry shaped both their lives, and Saphienne had not even the slightest premonition of how greatly magic would matter to her personally in later years. Though they had grown up surrounded by enchantments and magical wonders, all was commonplace to them, and so they only recognised what was unusually grand, like when the local wizard would celebrate the new year by making fantastic colours stream across the sky.

“Master Almon,” Kylantha whispered to Saphienne, mildly disappointed by what she saw. “That’s him… I think.”

Saphienne peered through the bushes in which they were poorly hiding, oblivious to the fact that her white clothes made her stand out amidst the spring foliage. The adult elf who had just exited the tall, towering tree across the grove seemed an imposing man, dressed in vivid blue robes that were so heavy they looked like they could smother her — yet offered no impediment to his stride.

He walked away from the watching children, setting out into the village… only to pause, his back toward them.

“What’s he doing?” Kylantha was cheek-to-cheek with Saphienne.

With a wave of his hand, the wizard poured sapphire sparkles from his fingertips, flickering sparks that leapt on the air and coalesced into a bolt of lightning that staked the ground before him with a thunderous boom — there to shimmer and twitch as it hardened and cooled into fine, fire-blackened wood, still yet burning with tawny embers.

Stunned, the girls froze in place…

Only for the wizard to nonchalantly lift his walking stick, and casually stroll on.

Kylantha was subdued. “…Maybe we should go back.”

Saphienne, however, was still emboldened: she pushed through the bushes, making a beeline for the doorstep. “You said you wanted to go somewhere new…”

“We did,” Kylantha pleaded, following after the older girl. “And that was– I’ve never seen anything like that before! So we’re done–”

“No, we’re not.” Saphienne quickened her pace. “We haven’t been in his house. We have to see our journey through!”

“But he’s not home–”

“So?” She rounded on Kylantha with a wicked smile, copying her voice. “That means he won’t notice we’re there. And who cares if we get into trouble, anyway? What’s the worst he’ll do?”

Her teasing made the younger girl blush, which in turn made her clench her fists and stand a little taller. Still, she smiled broadly. “Maybe he’ll turn you into a toad.”

“Or you into a frog.”

That cut through Kylantha’s bravado, and her eyes widened in thought. “…Do you think he could?”

“Only one way to find out…”

Yet, they slowed when they crossed between the flowerbeds that flanked the door.

Saphienne gently shoved Kylantha forward. “You first!”

“No, you!” Kylantha pushed back. “This was your idea!”

“You’re the one who wanted to go somewhere new!”

“I wanted to go to the lake! …I’m not going in.” She folded her arms.

“Well…” Saphienne folded her arms too. “…One of us has to. Or it doesn’t count.”

They stared at each other, at an impasse.

Then Kylantha suddenly grinned. “I know what we’ll do.” She thrust out her hand in demand. “Give me the coin!”

Puzzled, but trusting her friend, Saphienne withdrew the pouch and fished out the copper disc. “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” Kylantha took the coin, balancing it upon her fingers, only to flick it into the air. “Heads!”

The metal glinted where it fell among the flowers — tree-side up.

“…Oh.” Kylantha paled. “I called it wrong. That means I lose.”

“It does?” Saphienne bent down, retrieving the coin with a frown.

“Yes,” the younger girl nodded, already steeling herself. “You choose what you want to happen, then call which side the coin will land. If it lands the way you called, you win… or else…”

She bounded up to the step, gripped the door handle, and–

…Discovered it was locked.

Wordlessly, they faced each other.

And then the two burst into great guffaws of childish laughter, all their fear and tension dispersed like night mists in the dawn. They were still giggling as they ran away — though Kylantha darted back to the flowerbeds, stooping to carefully uproot a blooming hyacinth from its rightful place in the front garden, before she sprinted after Saphienne.

The casual vandalism worried the older girl. “Why’d you do that?”

“To show my mother.” She grinned, full of play as she caught up. “Don’t worry! It’s just a flower. I’m not a thief…”

Appeased, Saphienne offered her hand — and was dragged along after Kylantha as she raced away. “…So long as you put it back!”

*          *          *

All of this was happy prelude to the first moment.

One year and half again later, in the autumn, when Saphienne’s hair was red and she had begun to notice other changes creeping in, she was surprised by shouting. She was lost among the shelves of the library, usually so tranquil, when she heard the sound of the door crashing open, adult voices from outside calling after running feet.

“Saphienne! Saphienne!”

Kylantha nearly ran into her as Saphienne emerged from the end of the row, and then she did collide with her, throwing her arms around the taller girl with a muffled wail that only became louder as she cried.

“Kylantha!” Saphienne held her, caught between shocked white and an uncertain blush. “Kylantha, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

But she only cried and cried, and clung more tightly, her grief too great for words. They stayed like that as the librarian led a man to where they were standing, a man that Saphienne did not recognise, dressed in dull brown leathers and draped with a cloak that was patterned like the forest. He did not interrupt, not at first, waiting until the wailing turned to sobbing, and only then did he crouch down, his voice gentle but firm.

“Finish your goodbyes, girl.”

As softly as he spoke, suddenly Saphienne felt very cold. “Goodbye?” She pulled Kylantha tighter against herself.

But Kylantha drew back far enough to look up, her face red, nose running. She swallowed, and her usually vibrant voice was hoarse, broken. “Saphienne…” She struggled to speak. “Saphienne… they’re taking me away…”

End of Chapter 1

Index of Chapters here: https://www.tumblr.com/ljamberfantasy/775306768397074432/the-elf-who-would-become-a-dragon

[kashikojae]

Ordem Paranormal: Some English Names

Cellbit just announced that a release date for "Ordem Paranormal: Iniciação" is to be confirmed these next few weeks! This will be the first Paranormal Order media officially translated to English and Spanish, which means we'll have canon names in other languages, finally!!

Some weeks ago I was bored and decided to translate the entirety of the comic into English. Just because. And of course I cannot post it anywhere, but I thought I could share some of the decisions I made towards some names that I find fun or am really proud of, before we get official names for good.

(Reads: I had put a lot of effort translating those pages, and I didn't want it to die in the back of my hard drive, so I'm posting some of it on Tumblr.)

SR. VERÍSSIMO = MR. VERITY

“Senhor Veríssimo” is one of the centre characters of the Paranormal Order universe. We don't know much about him, but he's one of the figures in charge of Ordo Realitas. He's got a very strong name. “Senhor" is a honorific, equivalent to “sir” or “mister”. “Veríssimo" is, in fact, a lusitanian surname. But it's also an adjective.

ve·rís·si·mo adjective Very truthful; absolutely exact.

It’s not just a name, as well. In the very first scene we learn it’s also a title.

My first option was “Mr. Wright”. Because "Veríssimo" sounded to me as a very strong reference to a game Cellbit played a bit before the release of his first Paranormal Order campaign — Ace Attorney. "Phoenix Wright" is translated in Brazil as "Fênix Veríssimo".

But it didn't sound fitting. Being “very truthful” and being “right" are different things. I thought “Mr. Wright” attached an arrogance that was not really in character. So I searched for a term that could mean something similar.

ver·i·ty noun The quality of being true.

This is very curious. “Verity" is a word that’s not much in use in English, just as “Veríssimo" in Portuguese. And it’s a word that came into old-English from French, that came from the Latin word “vēritās”. Plural: “veritates”. Which is, basically, the first name the Order had, during the first two seasons in the RPG sessions available on YouTube! So, yeah, there's a whole... etymologic easter egg, I guess.

ZUMBI DE SANGUE = ZOMBIE OF BLOOD

This was a challenge because I had to decide if I wanted to keep it simple or not. Probably because I am very dramatic, literal translating makes me feel dirty — as if I'm not doing my job properly.

The only decision I made was if I would call them "Blood Zombies" or "Zombies of Blood". I decided for the later because of the way I understand this monster's name. "Blood Zombies" implies zombies made out (?) of blood. But I understand this monster as beings from the element Blood. Which is a quite different concept.

CARENTE = DESTITUTE

"Carente" means "someone in need of attention or care", and this monster is mentioned very briefly in a dialogue between Daniel and Alex. It was named by Daniel Hartmann in his book "Contos de Uma Criatura Carente", so the first thing I did was translate the book's title.

des·ti·tute adjective Without the basic necessities of life; not having

I don't just like how this word sounds, but I think its meaning aligns pretty well with the original. That's why Hartmann's book became "Tales of a Destitute Creature".

This monster became very famous because of r/place, and I admit that seeing people calling him "Needy" made me a bit stressed.

ABERRAÇÃO DE CARNE = FLESH ANOMALY

This one is very descriptive — it's a flesh monstrosity, therefore, it's called an "aberração". I see this word often translated as "freak", but I can't relate these two words as completely aligned for some reason. I never think of an "aberração" whenever I hear the word "freak". I don't think they're used to the same purposes.

We use "aberração" for something completely out of imagination, something terrifying and bizarre. "Freak" is an eighties slang for the bullied kid from school :P

Therefore, I went for "Flesh Anomaly", expressing something so abnormal, so out of this world...

DEGOLIFICADA = GARROTTIFIED

This one is pretty hard, and I'm actually curious at how they'll translate this name.

In the comic we can actually see this creature's name building up. The word "degolar" means "to cut one's throat", describing perfectly Agatha's death.

That's why, during one of the confrontation scenes, Liz addresses it as "cara degolificada" — "dear degolified".

There's no word in English that can directly translate the same concept. Slaughter is not specific enough, Behead is a much more advanced action... Beheaded was actually my first option, but I didn't like it.

But — we can mean something similar. "Garrotte" means "to kill someone by strangulation using a collar". It's not exactly what happened to Agatha... but it sounds nice, lmao.

"I THINK MR. VERITY CALLED ME BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOOSE! BUT YOU, GARROTTIFIED DEARIE, YOU ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING!" Elizabeth Webber in OP: Iniciação, p. 137

I could stay here for thousands and thousands of words, but I wanted to focus only on the main points of my translation. There were tons of dialogues that I had a hard time with, but I'll probably just keep them to myself :P

Anyways, it was fun to get headaches over lexicon for some weeks, but now I'm excited to see how all of these terms will be once the canonical version is released!

(also this text may be poorly written as fuck, I'm not reviewing it lmao)

[strawberryfaced]

whats your favorite scene from the owl house?

ohohoho an owl house ask….. u asked for this anon…… rambling hat ON

(i can’t pick one so i’m just going to give you like. 15)

s1:

from s1e2, witches before wizards - “look, kid. everyone wants to believe they're chosen, but if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. and that's why you need to choose yourself." that quote speaks for itself I think

from s1e7, lost in language - amity is reading to kids. luz is admiring her. I am also admiring her. amity puts her hair up and both me and luz admire her +10. and then the way luz says “looks like this sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet centre!” I have an inside joke about this with my sister. the joke is that this quote. we both love this quote. I literally. I love everything about this quote. THE WAY SHE SAYS THE t IN “center” IS EVERYTHING. ALSO GRUMPY AMITY + HAPPY GO LUCKY LUZ WILL ALWAYS BE MY #1 . FOREVER also blight twins <3 and then when the guy book comes to life I cannot TELL YOU. how much I GIGGLED AT THIS SCENE. I remember this so clearly and I’m telling you this was like when I was like. wait damn. LUMITY’s REEEEEAAALLY gonna happen. I LOVE THIS. SO MUCH. AND ALSO WHEN LUZ GOES ROAR AND DOES HER JOKE AND AMITY LAUGHS ITS LIFE CHANGING BECAUSE LIKE. amity is a COOL popular girl. luz is not. they would totally have different senses of humour and from my experience I’d literally never get along with someone as different as me in that sense because I just wouldn’t be able to make them laugh so this is like. taking Amity’s cover off. she’s not a cool mean girl. SHE IS SILLY TOO

from s1e11, sense and insensitivity - I’m sorry this one is small but I just have to mention it: when eda and lilith catch the scammer guy and they are like. the hottest. fucking. villains ever. “ah, sure. spare us.” “woe to us, whose fates are sealed.” (knuckle crack). I’m dead. dying. you won’t see me alive and breathing for the next 10 days

from s1e12, adventures in the elements - OK THIS ONE HAS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE EPISODES EVER EVER EVER. there is not one scene I could pick to be my favourite so I’ll just talk about the whole episode. FIRST OF ALL. I REALLY LOVE HOW WE REALLY GET TO SEE EDA’s WEIRD STYLE OF TEACHING. AND LIKE WE ALL KNOW EDA’s AWESOME AND THAT ITLL WORK OUT IN THE END. BUT WITH THE WHOLE SNOW EATING THING ETC ETC I KINDA WAS LIKE UNSURE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE?? WHAT R U SUPPOSED TO DO WITH EATING SNOW?? SO WHEN LUZ LEARNT HER FIRST GLYPH WITH EDA’s TECHNIQUE I MEAN IT WAS EXPECTED BECAUSE. YEA BUT IT WAS ALSO THE MOST SATISFYING CLICK CAUSE IT WAS LIKE OHHHHHHHHHHHH. OK! and then also just lumity <3 in this episode <3 AND THE ENDING ALSO WHEN EDA GOES want me to teach u kids something cool LIKE SHES SO COOL MAN. SHES SO COOL DUDE IM EXPLODING. wait and then also one of my fave parts when at the end lumity are being adorable and eda sneezes and she says your adorableness is making me sick or whatever. that ALRIGHT that is right up my alley. something about being a funny parental mentor figure and then seeing your kid like. be cute and not have a problem with it. maaaan I don’t know man. I just like mentor apprentice mother daughter relationships ok

from s1e16, enchanting grom fright - I don’t wanna make s1 too long so I’m just gonna say this one speaks for itself. right (bonus while we’re on the topic of lumity - in wing it like witches: when amity stands up to boscha for luz and willow. and the andscoop. yea.)

from s1e18, agony of a witch - I don’t know why I’m including this one actually this is my least favourite episodes I can’t tell you how much I cried watching this. ‘alright, kid. Listen to me. I’m going away, and I don’t know if I can bounce back this time. watch over king. remember to feed hooty. and luz, thank you for being in my life.’ ugly cries 

s2:

from s2e1, separate tides - golden guard’s first appearance <3<3 eda and luz relationship <3<3 i’d talk more about hunter but i’ll leave that for later!!!! also the scene where king and hunter are like. doing the thing. that was perfect

from s2e2, escaping expulsion - STAY. AWAY. FROM. MY. LUZ. I’m sorry I’M A CLICHE GIRL OKAY. I LOVE SAVING EACH OTHER. I LOVE WHEN HEROES. I LOVE. LOVE LOVE. AND ESPECIALLY THAT ONEEEE PART IN THE SCENE WHEN THE ABOMINATION IS ABOUT TO HIT LUZ AND AMITY STOPS ITI ITS LIE SHDHSLLASNSNS S

wait I just realised that I like. accidentally talked about EVERY SINGLE S2 EPISODE. to save you from scrolling for your life I’ll just. write a sentence for my fave scene in each one. sorry anon

from s2e3, echoes of the past - hahahaha eda being hot and saving everyone. also sweet moments :) baby king 

from s2e5, through the looking glass ruins - amity kisses luz on the cheek.

from s2e6, hunting palismen - luz and hunter actually meet for the first time,,,, Hunter and luz fight ehehdhjdjsks + eda and king give luz palistrom/palisman wood :)

from s2e7, eda’s requiem - “oh you’ve changed owl lady” eda’s domestic to do list :) RAEDA!!!!!! also seeing eda do bard magic oh my gosh majestical + eda signing contract to be kings mom

from s2e8, knock, knock, knockin’ on hooty’s door - one of my favourite episodes - hooty ries to help everyone and successfully fails + eda emotional :’) + king emotional :’) + LUMITY FINALLY CANON!!!!!!!! also the lil moment between luz and eda talking about how to go about confessing…. hits the spot

from s2e9, eclipse lake - eda, king and amity meet hunter and amity tells hunter to shut it when he tries to threaten Luz. amity and hunter hehehehehehehe my lil heart

from s2e10, yesterday’s lie - camilla and luz meet :’)

from s2e11, follies at the coven day parade - willow’s tippy taps + amity BEINF an awesome girlfriend and not invading privacy and “and scoop” adorable luz picking up kikimora and eda tYING UP RAINEYM + funny belos king hooty

from s2e13, any sport in a storm - emerald entrails flyer derby willow and hunter. hunters traps them In a CELL + lumity searching for the good witch azura author! aka tinella nosa. tibbles acts like a jerk and amity punches him :3 also Darius is FUCKING AWESOME 

from s2e14, reaching out - luz talks to Amity about her dad + they send a flower out. :’) alador:’) I won’t stop if I start talking about it so I wont at all

from s2e15, them’s the breaks, kid - EDA AND RAINE BACKSTORY!!! RAEDA!!!!!!!! RAEDA RAEDA RAEDA

from s2e16, hollow mind - luz and hunter become siblings and get stuck in the emperor’s mind  <3 TOH’s wonderful representation of a panic attack at the end. healed me

from s2e17, edge of the world - eda has a mental breakdown about her kids :( king. I’m sorry I hate this ep actually

from s2e18, labyrinth runners - FLASHBAXK TO GUS AHD WILLOW FIRST FRIENDSHIP. hunter and gus cute friendship !!!!!! +++ cool hexside fight 

from s2e19, o titan, where art thou - luz and eda fight, eda gets captured, luz meets raine for the first time. ALSO one of my favourites

from s2e20, clouds on the horizon - I Love everything about this ep but LUMITY KISS HDWJSJAKQONEQINSISNSHSHSODJENDBSIS

we are not talking about king’s tide. also I would absolutely talk about s3 but I do not wanna make this too long so I’ll end it here <3 thank u for the awesome ask anon

and send POST!

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hello!! sorry to bother you could write a ben 10 x reader? (the reader is kidnapped by vilgax and ben has to save her, after that ben and the reader has an argument) please, i love your fics!!

Storm Before The Calm

Pairing: Pre-Established; Ben Tennyson x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k words

A/N: I changed up the request a bit (I figured it shouldn't matter which villain was used here) also I was planning to have this as sort of a damsel in distress situation but after having a chat with some boys pigs I decided a self indulgant badass reader was right up my alley

Additional A/N: I have a math exam on Thursday and I cannot focus for the life of me. So, I decided to finish up one of my drafts. Now hopefully I'll be able to work like a robot for the next week, after satisfying my creative side. Also, this fic was super self indulgant.

"I trust Ben.” You did. With your entire being.

Kevin chuckled from beside you, “Yeah, try saying that without cracking the fillings in your teeth and maybe we’ll believe you.”

His words caused you to relax, only then realizing how hard your jaw was clenched in fury. Gwen sighed in disappointment and for a second you wanted to defend her cousin and your boyfriend. Until you realized that he deserved every bit of unbridled anger coming to him.

“I trust him. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad at him.”

Your hands were balled into tight fists and even though you wanted to take your eyes off the television screen and take a warm bath, you also for some reason couldn’t stop yourself from watching it.

Like you were afraid something would happen when your eyes were off the screen for even a second. Maybe you didn’t trust him.

But honestly how could you, you were currently watching your boyfriend relax in a hot tub with Jennifer Nocturne and the sight was enough to send bile up your throat.

Ben wasn’t returning any of her advances, but he wasn’t stopping her either. And the thought made you sick to your stomach. You knew Ben was faithful and you knew he would never cheat on you but watching how the Hollywood starlet continued to hang off him sent waves of jealousy through you.

Not to mention anger at the fact that he wasn’t doing anything to stop her. When he got back, you were going to wring his neck.

Trusting him was getting harder with Gwen constantly insisting that you dump him.

Honestly, you wondered how that girl even kept a relationship.

When Ben eventually came home, all the entertainment channels were still talking about the two of them and the well-known picture of Jennifer Nocturne kissing him was circulating about. Each time you looked at that image, you wanted to shoot an arrow at the TV.

As time went by, your anger slowly fizzled out. You were unable to maintain your rage at Ben, quickly getting a headache and feeling tired of trying to maintain negative emotions. Even then, you couldn't push down the uneasy feeling in your heart that seized your stomach.

You kept expecting a text message from Ben, an apology call but as the night proceeded you understood that he was having way too much fun with another woman to even think about how you must be feeling.

The thought of that made you want to go back home and crawl underneath the covers, hiding away from the rest of the world.

But Gwen was persistent and any time you tried to wiggle away from the pair of them and go home, she insisted that you stay and make sure Ben knew how upset he made you tonight.

You were more than happy to give your boyfriend the cold shoulder until he apologized rather than have to confront him. That was just how your relationship with Ben worked. Neither of you were the type to lose your tempers and yell and scream at each other.

Although you were worried what would come out of this. Would you be able to peacefully discuss your feelings and then come to some sort of conclusion civilly? Seems too good to be true honestly.

Even then you waited until Ben came home, listening to Gwen and Kevin about how you should rip the band aid off and get everything off your chest rather than ignore him for a couple of days until the two of you got bored.

Usually, the latter would work but you had an inkling that it wouldn't be the solution for this particular argument because if you didn't communicate your emotions then he would never know how you felt about it.

So, even though your stomach filled with anxiety and sadness as the hours passed, you still didn't leave, determined to talk to him about it.

Your jaw was clenched tight when he finally did come back home, utterly relaxed and even happy like he wasn't just curled up against some Hollywood starlet while his girlfriend was watching it on E!

"I'm really upset with you." You ground out when Kevin and Gwen left, not knowing how else to start the conversation.

"What for?"

You didn't reply, picking up the remote and flicking to a gossip channel, then a news channel, then an interview show and all of them had the picture of Ben Tennyson and Jennifer Nocturne locking lips.

Ben winced, "She kissed me! I didn't even return it."

You still refused to look at you, crossing your arms aggressively, "Uh huh and what was today all about?"

"It's just publicity. Jennifer thinks that it'll help with my career."

You scoffed, "What career?"

Ben's back tensed up and he turned to give you a stiff expression, "I'm a superhero. I've saved the universe a thousand times and now that I'm finally getting recognition for it, you want to be petty?"

"Petty? You think I'm being petty? Well forgive me for getting upset after watching my boyfriend curl up to some other woman in a hot tub for the last five hours!" You bit, standing up from the couch.

"It wasn't like that! Stop blowing everything out of proportion!"

"No, you stop pretending like this isn't a big deal! Ever since your secret got out you've been acting like an ass and since meeting that blonde rat it's only gone through your head more!" You shouted, clenching your hands at your sides. How could he not see your side of this?

"Well shouldn't I get to enjoy my life once in a while?! I'm the one saving the planet constantly! I'm the one with constant death threats and near death experiences every other week! Shouldn't I get some attention for it?! God knows I don't get any from you!" He yelled back and you grit your teeth.

"Don't forget that while you were out there risking your life, we were right beside you!"

"Oh, so that's what it is, you're jealous that everyone thinks of you as the sidekick!"

"That is so NOT what this is about!"

"Oh really? Because it sounds like you're jealous because you're not getting attention by mooching off of me!"

Your eyes widened in shock. Mooching? Did he seriously think that you risked your life alongside him every day to help other people and more importantly, keep him safe, for attention?

Your body trembled, outraged and you didn't say another word, leaving his house in a rush and slamming the door behind you.

You needed something to hit.

***

Your body pumped with adrenaline and anger, muscles itching to be used as you sauntered through the old and run-down factory with reckless abandon. You briefly wondered whether you should've told Gwen or Kevin you were going there but then decided against it, pride and anger too great.

Any doubts or hesitation you had disappeared when you saw Vulkanus, standing tall and broad in his metal suit. And as per usual, he had his herd of minions doing his physical labour.

"If it isn't the Plumber's sweetheart." He drawled once he noticed you. You didn't bother with the stealth, leaving the door wide open behind you and letting the sunlight seep in. If he knew what was good for him, then this would be over quick.

"Hello Vulkanus." You greeted politely and he rolled his eyes. Of all people, he knew just how misleading your innocence was.

"Where's the cavalry?"

"Just me today." You answered and for a second you were confused by your own confidence. Maybe you were taking this just a little too easy. Oh well, that was another thing you could blame your pig-headed boyfriend for.

"Well then, this is going to be easier than I thought. Hope you said goodbye to your boyfriend, sweetheart." He rasped out and the corner of your mouth twitched into a smirk. Without another word, you raised your arms, feeling the familiar heat of fire in the palm of your hand before chucking it at him.

Just as you knew he would, he sent his minions towards you first. They were embarrassingly unskilled but the problem came in numbers. They swarmed around you like ants and you felt yourself getting irritated at the clicking sound they were making.

Unfortunately for Vulkanus his make-shift factory was right beside a dam which gave you an endless supply of the elements to work with.

Summoning all the water you could manoeuvre, you pulled it into the factory, shattering the windows along with it and flooding the room. It only took a few flicks of your wrist to create a whirlpool in the centre, knocking all the workers off their feet.

You stiffened your hands, curling in your fingers and the temperature dropped, the water solidifying with each second until all of them were encased in ice. Another flick of the wrist had the path clearing between you and Vulkanus, who was still warm.

"You-You're sparing me?" He asked, confused and a dry laugh left you.

"Not at all," You sang, eyes turning dark, "I'm giving you special treatment."

Vulkanus bounded towards you, holding his mallet high and you swiftly dodged, using water on the floor to slide quickly. He crashed into the engine of one of his machines, the fuel tank exploding and spewing fowl smelling petrol onto the floor.

It floated above the level of water and began surrounding both of you.

He once again came at you, letting out a roar and you used the water to sink through the crevices of his suit, freezing it from within and you heard the satisfying sound of his suit cracking.

Just a little more strength and forcing a gust of air through the cracks had it falling apart and his frail body fell out of its metal encasing.

"You'll pay for this! You big bully!"

"Thanks for the fun time today, Vulkanus." You smiled, strutting to the door just as confidently as you came in. Even though your body was burning from the workout and you could barely breathe, you still couldn't get over the high.

Before leaving the building, you turned around to see him still glaring at you from his place on the floor.

"Oh, I should probably free your minions, right?" You commented, eyes flickering between the ones still encased in ice and the floor that was still flooded with water and petrol.

You let out a fake sigh, "I guess I'll be nice today," You winked at Vulkanus, "Thanks for the playdate, sweetheart."

His eyes widened when you blew a kiss to him, watching in fear as you ignited a flare in your palm and blew it towards him before turning around and using the wind to slam the doors behind you. When you were just a few feet away you heard the place blow apart.

Slowly, the adrenaline began melting and the blood rushing through your ears was much more audible. You were panting, tired from the exercise and the thought of calling Kevin to come and pick you up. Or maybe even Ben. You were calm enough now to have a conversation with him.

When you pulled your phone out of your pocket you felt a hand on your shoulder and spun around to meet eyes with Captain Nemesis. For a brief second you were wondering if he was here to invite you to some inane party or even to tell you that Ben was at one.

Although you hardly looked the part, you were sweating and your face was probably red and blotchy.

"Can I help you?" You asked, taking a step back, he was a little too close to you and the look in his eye freaked you out.

"As a matter of fact, you can." He said, "You see I'm arranging a little stunt for Ben Tennyson. An opportunity if you will, to showcase some of his heroism."

You rolled your eyes, turning away from him. The last thing you wanted to do was feed Ben's ego at the moment.

"With all due respect, I don't really think I'm up for a damsel in distress routine right now, Captain, I'd rather just get home. And If you take another step towards me, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine." You snapped and he backed off obediently, raising his hands in a form of surrender.

"That's too bad." He mused and you turned away from him, intent on walking back home or even calling a cab. Anything to get away from this creep faster.

"Too bad you don't really have a choice."

You felt his hand on your bare shoulder again but before you could even react you felt volts of electricity rush through you. You gasped painfully, feeling fire through your veins before everything started to hurt.

White burned in your vision and colours started to blur together as your eyes filled with tears. Your body crumbled, falling forward and Captain Nemesis caught you.

Right before your consciousness slipped away you heard him say something.

"For your sake, you better hope that Ben Tennyson is as great as those gossip channels make him out to be."

***

When you felt yourself regaining consciousness, you could feel your weight pulling down and also couldn't feel the ground. This had your eyes snapping open, regardless of how dizzy you were and how many dots were in your vision.

You hazily made out the venue, Nemesis Tower, before recognize the blonde woman tied up beside you. It didn't take long before you realized she was tied to the other end of the rope, suspended through mid-air just like you.

This was no doubt going to be some sort of deathly choice.

You noticed when Ben came in, turning into Ultimate Humangasaur. He looked furious, like you've never seen him before and you knew it was because Ben was certain he'd teach him a lesson today.

"Where's (Y/N)." He all but growled and your heart soared. You didn't realize how much you missed him until now, everything from before was forgotten.

"Right up there. And so is Jennifer." He replied, still smug despite the way Ben was pining him to the ground by his throat. Ben followed his gaze to meet your eyes and you took a deep breathe, bracing yourself.

A selfish part of you wanted to stay and see what Ben would do, would he save you even though Jennifer was a civilian and world famous?

Even then you figured that you shouldn't risk anyone's life for petty jealousy, so you took a deep breath, blowing it out through your mouth and watching as a gust of wind blew past, the pressure making you swing.

You swung a few feet back, letting your body fall a little before blowing again. Once you gained enough momentum, you looked up to the rope tying the two of you together and spitting fire at it, falling at an angle. You briefly heard Jennifer scream and revelled in her karma for a hot second.

On your way down, you quickly burnt off the rest of the ropes, bringing a pool of water to crystallize into a makeshift slide as you slide on your knees across the floor, just in time to catch Jennifer in your arms.

Your knees stung as they scraped across the concrete and the wind was knocked out of you when the woman fell into your form.

She gasped and her eyes that was screwed shut gently fluttered open. Up close you could understand why everyone was in love with her. Even then you couldn't spare her any concern.

You quickly pushed her out of your arms, noticing Gwen and Kevin staring at you in awe when you stood up. You cracked your knuckles, making your way over to the older man with a scowl.

"For your sake, you better hope that I'm just as weak as you think I am. Spoiler alert, I'm not."

Ben spared a small smile at you but you couldn't feel anything aside from hot fury. You felt water surge beneath your fingers and threw it at him, pulling up a wall of earth to block his blasts.

Your boyfriend immediately began fighting alongside you and your bodies fell into a familiar rhythm. Even though there was a crazed narcissist trying to kill you, you felt safe beside Ben.

It wasn't long before the four of you managed to overpower him, rendering his armour useless until he was defeated, lying pathetically on the ground.

You walked up to him and your lips twisted into an unimpressed frown when you noticed the way he had the audacity to glare at you. Without a second word, you raised your leg and kicked him right between the legs.

"I always keep my promises, Captain."

Kevin began laughing behind you and Ben cringed.

Finally, when you turned to meet Ben, now de-transformed, all the fight left your body and you relaxed. He looked apologetic and you let him approach you.

His arms wrapped around your waist and you leaned into him, breathing the familiar scent of his deodorant and snaking your arms under his jacket to fist his T-shirt.

He sighed into your hair, arms tightening around your body, "I'm sorry. For being an ass to you and saying all those horrible things, I was being an idiot and you deserve an apology."

You didn't move, not pulling away from the way your forehead was pressed against the length of his neck, "Thank you for coming to save me."

"Didn't look like you needed much help." He chuckled and you felt happy hearing the pride in his voice.

"I missed you." You murmured, holding him a little tighter and he turned his head to kiss your forehead gently. And just like that, everything was right in the world. Just as long as you were in each other's arms.

"I love you."

You heard the click of a camera and your head snapped up to see a herd of cameramen and reporters along with a couple of police cars. Ben laughed nervously beside you, "I guess we won't have to worry about another actress coming between us."

You gave him an unimpressed frown and he just smiled, leaning to peck your lips and you heard the crowd of reporters’ gasp and heard the shutters of cameras before they began shouting questions at you.

You pulled away from him when you saw Jennifer Nocturne make her way towards you. You figured she wanted to snuggle up to Ben now that the cameras were filming.

Instead, she walked right up to you, hugging you tightly and your arms flailed pathetically beside her, unsure of what to do, "You saved my life! I don't know how to thank you!"

She pulled away for just a second before pressing a kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened in alarm and the shutters began once again and flashes practically blinded you.

"Huh, so that's what that feels like." Ben murmured when she pulled away from you. Kevin was smirking beside him, satisfied that he got a taste of his own medicine and Gwen was just in shock.

Ben felt his stomach turn at the sight of Jennifer’s lipstick on your mouth and you were unsure whether you should feel repulsed or cocky.

But as you wiped the pigment off your lips and curled back into Ben's side you couldn't feel anything other than your burning muscles and your drooping eyelids.

You squinted because of the bright lights, feeling a headache grow as the exhaustion from before crept up on you again. After 2 fights and a kidnapping today, there was nothing more you wanted than a nap.

"Wanna go home?" Your ever observant boyfriend asked just as the nausea started to kick in. You nodded and he guided you away from the reporters to his car.

He gently placed you into the front seat, shielding your head as you got in to prevent you from hitting it against the hood before buckling your seatbelt, watching carefully as you drifted into a sound sleep.

Ben heard everyone behind him swoon as he lovingly placed a kiss to your knuckles and then climbed into the seat beside you, sparing you one last warm glance before starting the car and driving away.

He'd definitely notice the shy smile on your face when you saw that Ben kissing you was on the front page of a magazine.

And you'd notice the jealous scowl he'd have when he saw that Jennifer kissing you was on the front page of another.

[transformers-fan-continuities]

Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf​ created by @artsy-hobbitses​!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards  Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place. 

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society. 

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times  to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to  Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation  and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and  expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower​‘s OC Missit!)  is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider​’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

[moontheoretist]

Notes from tie-in MCU comics:

Part 1:

[DISCLAIMER: I was making those notes without actually writing down from which comic they come from, so now I am... well... confused about the proper placement of them, but I tried to discern them anyway.]

CAPTAIN AMERICA THE FIRST AVENGER:

Lol, Zola was developing exo-skeleton looking like Iron Man suit and Vanko's suit in 1934. I kind of think part of Steve's dislike of Iron Man was because of that exo-suit. Also, Steve just saved the guy in a suit.

"The chain is only as strong as its weakest link" said twice to Steve, once by military doctor and second by Schmidt.

Poor Erskine, his family was taken as hostages.

Howards says "carefully open the casing". Steve does smash instead.

Oh no, Red Skull said that weapon can always be taken from you so you have to become the weapon. It echoes the sentiment behind the creation of Iron Man too closely.

Lol, Roosevelt ASKED for Howard PERSONALLY.

"Car is bulletproof!" "and a convertible!" is a funny joke xD

Lol he has bulletproof car because of cigarette's girls angry boyfriends.

Ok, so Howard joined SSR because he HAD BEST FUN IN MONTHS.

Howard has rockets in car and "leaves best toys for himself".

First Steve saves a Nazi from a tank, now he obliterates them with said tank. Pick a side, Steve. I know guy in the armor was helpless, but c'mon. You either don't kill or kill. You cannot just willy nilly choose. BTW does it echo saving Iron Man or smth?

Call back to floating car by a joke about floating tank.

Aw, no, Erskine's family died in concentration camp from typhus. (Those camps were awful, but are not shown in the comics. You better believe that they weren’t very nice places to live even without being overworked and killed by the Nazis).

Oh no, Bucky was nearly killed by SSman! But Howling Commandos stopped him.

Bucky doesn't like his name lol. Also no Jimmy nickname for this guy.

Ok so Howard Stark was based on Hughes and Tony was based on someone Howard hated - Oppenheimer.

Ok, now Phillips made a foreshadowing for Cradle in the AoU. It even looks similar to Project Rebirth.

Oho my theory that Erskine heard Bucky talk to Steve and that doctor knew Steve lied is proved in this comics. They knew, they had a file on him and Erskine just picked him, saving his stupid ass from consequences.

Cap just threw a knife.

IRON MAN 2:

In the comics it looks more as if Obadiah sold Vanko instead of Howard, because Howard looks so surprised at what Vanko did, that it is impossible to assume that he was the one who sent the agents after Vanko. He looks surprised at the whole incident, Vanko betraying him and agents being there to apprehend him. One agent acts as if it was Howard's idea all along, but that line could be also read as just informing a bystander that they will deal with the issue instead.

Tony projected a drone which could clean whole desert full of mines with 100% accuracy and 0% detonation.

Also comics confirm that Tony cannot even have 12h break without Howard coming at him and demanding him to work when he is just a goddamn teenager.

Tony was just fighting for 19h, got a shower and has to go out again.

"If I hear of another innocent being put in a harm's way just to advance some pointless military agenda... there will be consequences" sounds like call back to Hulk.

Hm, Tony made 12 people work on one job? Also Natasha hates being called Nat and she drugged Samantha (the actual PA which applied for Stark Industries) to take her place.

 [As of now those comics confirmed to me that Captain America joined army out of selfish reasons and that Tony was overworking himself as Iron Man and when he wasn't he was either partying, probably to relax in that way, or making new tech which saves lives.]

Lol, Coulson was so excited to look for Captain. Nick even made a joke about finding his fav action figure.

Lol, World Security Council wanted to get Tony's weapons and nearly fired Fury for trying to make Avengers.

Fury is like Tony. He hates his superiors. He will do as they say but won't stop doing what he does.

Lol, Fury got a call Tony will be dead and he jumped out of his goddamn bed asap.

Fury was actively stopping Stern from getting Iron Man by scheduling his meeting with Department of Defense "when Stern is busy" xD

Lol Fury says no to Ross before he hears what he wants. This is so funny.

Ok, so Fury got Lithium Dioxide for Tony, asked if it could be made into permanent cure, how sweet of him, but also learned that it could INSTANTLY KILL HIM instead and still made Natasha basically inject Tony with it WITHOUT CONSENT! So I dunno if he really cared about him when he asked about permanent cure or it was just more optimal for his plans. Also he got the cure during Tony's and Rhodey's battle at the mansion, so we cannot say he had a cure and didn't give it right away when he could.

"Don't blow your cover unless Stark is going to kill himself". Hm. So he wants him alive.

And yeah, he ordered Natasha to stick him with lithium dioxide when he distracted him.

Lol, Fury yelled at Coulson for letting Tony leave the mansion xD

THOR??? (I got lost in my notes, I didn’t write which comic was which)

LOL CLINT CANNOT EVEN TAKE VACATION. Also the speed with which he responded to possible alien crashsite, epic. He jumped and went as if it was Christmas, aww Clint.

Why Clint is giving money back to some store which suffered due to their operation? I mean it was nice and all, but who will give the money back to Clint? Fury?

So it was Hawkeye's idea to let Thor loose.

In the meantime Loki was on scene and tried to get Mjolnir but it didn't respond.

AVENGERS PRELUDE:

Oho, poor Fury, didn't sleep in a few days.

Oho, Fury yelled at Natasha.

"Do not let Ross take Banner, dead or alive". How cute of you, Nick, to confirm that you do not care.

Blonsky is suicidal. Going at Hulk and kicking him in the face? That's a death wish.

Ah so Blonsky is enhanced.

Hahaha, joke about lifting a hammer but applied to the Asgardian sentinel, lol.

Ross literally accessed SHIELD databases.

Natasha was raised in Stalingrad lol.

After seeing Hulk, Abomination and The Leader Natasha finally says it is too much to handle for SHIELD.

Oho, so making Tony finish Howard's project was an objective, not saving his life. He wanted it for Tesseract.

I dunno if he is lying or really was doing this whole shit for the Tesseract. Also points for sticking in WSC's face that Ross nearly destroyed New York thanks to them.

Shield has whiplash suit and it's arc reactor!

THEY ACTIVATED THE SENTINEL AND THEN THEY WANT TO DISMANTLE IT AND MAKE DOZENS SMALL ONES!

Huh, implication that Natasha may beat the whole bunker of SHIELD agents up, because they're men, lol.

So Selvig used the element Stark invented to kick-start the Tesseract after all.

"Good for a laugh from time to time" lol. Clint the comedian.

Why that machine holding a Tesseract looks like Arc Reactor?

Huh so Selvig was Loki and he made a comment about Tony being strange for "badassium".

BLACK WIDOW BACKGROUND IN ONE OF THE COMICS, DUNNO WHICH:

Natasha talks about her cover personalities like vtubers about their avatars.

Fjodorov knows something about stolen bootleg technology of Tony Stark which he managed to acquire?

Natasha really likes narrating her story. Time slows when you have a training? Like roller coaster on first ridge?

"With some small regret, I bid farewell to Tatiana. She's outlived her usefulness" thinks Natasha after she took off her wig and no longer plays Tatiana. "If she were real. She'd be dead". "It's nice though, to pretend while it lasts... that I was ever as innocent as her".

Natasha really likes playing those roles.

Haha, Natasha holds one mission over Coulson's head forever even though he never failed as her control again.

"Part of the reason why I am so good at the undercover work is that I actually like being other people. There is a lot I've done that I regret. When I leave that other identity behind, whether I slip out from underneath it voluntarily or it's ripped away from my grasp, it always hits me like a shock. Like being awakened from a deep sleep, back to who I really am". "It's good to be home". Is she speaking about her slip into Black Widow again as home or is she referring to Russia?

Natasha left a guy dangling from a building and said it could be worse, he could be naked.

"Good man" says Natasha as if she was training guys to obey her will.

Oho, Natasha is interested in someone who wants to be her.

Also she is narrating that police in Russia would not suspect Tatiana to be so resourceful.

Natasha wants to save that girl from herself, because nobody did that for her when she was in the same position.

I mean, Natasha killed some people that day already so I don't get the point of her not killing those guys and saying that she changed, when in the club she killed a few of the goons already and later too. Where is the point of her change if she kills anyway? What is this change about Black Widow - Natasha Romanoff if she kills people but just not always? She cannot claim to change for the better just because she didn't kill two goons. And Sofia should see that not killing all of them doesn't mean she doesn't kill at all. But I guess leaving so many alive still counts for Sofia as Natasha going soft.

Coulson, you idiot, I am happy you came to save Natasha, but Sofia thought those guys were Natasha's back up. It all wouldn't happen if not for you making them appear there. You fucked up everything for Natasha, Coulson.

Uh, Natasha has the same weird shtick Tony does. She blames herself for the decision of her superior? Yeah, she enabled him to make that decision, but it was still his decision to send those men to find Natasha, so their death is on him, not on Natasha.

Huh, so Natasha's model persona Konn feels empty when nobody looks at her, because her whole life was being the centre of attention? It's kind of sexist cover.

She is a hand model and this guy is disgusting. Natasha I agree with those YUCK.

Natasha doing tehee is so weird.

Also playing a "he sent me here so hours would fly by" is so gross, but inner Natasha voice says nothing yet.

Lol the guy just assumed she is stupid, because she made tehee sounds. Like, goddammit, men are so easy to fool. Condescending little creep indeed.

Ok, so Natasha doesn't have any computer knowledge to say what those lines of code are, but she knows Stark can.

Ugh, Natasha, that line about telling his friends that they did something he imagines is so not feminist of you. It just enables creeps like that to objectify women more and treat them like idiots and fucktoys.

Sofia killed the agent even when Natasha gave her what she wanted.

Natasha wants to save lives and often fails at it too.

She jumped off the yacht to save the guy even though she knew he is dead? I mean shot in the head usually means instant death.

She doesn't get lines of code but can upload tracking device on it. Good. Also she wanna kill Sofia now.

"When I go in for the kill, there's no one I'd rather be than who I really am".

Ah so they had a targeting software for the copy of the Jericho missile manufactured by Hammer.

So they were moving Jericho in parts around the world. They should be happy Tony didn't notice. (Because then they would all just go boom and be dead lol).

"Berserk bots a girl's best friends!"

Frampton wants to have space tourism.

Ten Rings again.

Why Frampton wants to strike Korean DMZ?

Aha, global destabilisation for Ten Rings, gotcha.

Oho, so the info about Natasha busting the trafficking ring comes back. It turns out she accidentally trapped the girls inside when she busted the place. She basically says she didn't know they were there but even if she did she wasn't nice back then.

So Natasha says that Sofia was more her than she ever was, meaning the Black Widow, meaning that Natasha always had softness in her which Sofia didn't have and that Sofia got her just reward for wanting to be the perfect Black Widow.

Still sexist move to make a victim of sex trafficking ring become a morally corrupt murderer who would destabilise world for free if she could, but does that for money, because money is nice addition to her new hobby of fucking humanity up.

"Some people are not worth saving" Not so long ago plenty would say that about me".

AVENGERS:

Oho Stark Tower is the first fully clean-energy powered skyscraper.

Pepper thinks inside the box and Tony thinks outside the box.

Oh, so Tony still says that Rhodey had stolen the suit, but then he admits that it could give him heart attack, because it was not calibrated for him, so I wonder if he really wanted Rhodey to have it or never wanted Rhodey to have it at all.

"I got them to agree that all starktech remains proprietary to you as long as War Machine is on loan to the department of defense".

Lol wow, War Machine was an insult? Anyway he means that Rhodey won't be using Mark II because Tony has new suit for him.

"I am not Iron Man" people yell Iron Man at Rhodey "Ah, forget it" xD

How is Tony saying that he couldn't find anything to go after Gulmira when he was literally busting Ten Rings in Iron Man 2 tie-in comic?

Hahaha, Rhodey wanna get a publicist so people would recognise he is War Machine, not Iron Man.

Rhodey is so vicious. "I could have taken your hand with it but not doing it is more fun".

Oho so Tony THREE MONTHS after Tony was putting S on Stark Tower there is Battle of New York and Rhodey is in Hong Kong.

Incoming call: Martini, seriously? You call Tony MARTINI?

Also for some reason this Tony has blue eyes.

Rhodey is so cocky lol. "I haven't seen anything that can take me down".

"When am i gonna learn to keep my mouth shut?" xDDD Rhodey cursed himself.

So after Iron Man 2 Tony realised that he couldn't be iron solder alone anymore and made Rhodey an armor? Still, trust was a huge factor here.

Lol did he just make a joke about being so beat up as after clubbing with Tony to a commanding officer? Rhodey, you vicious little shit lol xD

"Battle tank that's about to make me street pizza! But only if I stand and take it, which I have never done in my life". That's useful info. It gives me some insight into who was protecting who at MIT. Rhodey never was taking a crap of other people, so he probably was used to fighting bullies. And I can imagine him standing up to bullies who targeted a kid - Tony Stark.

Rhodey chooses to fight smarts with smarts.

DID HE JUST MAKE HIS WAY OF LANDING A FRIGGIN MISSILE STYLE? XD

His commander asks if he is crazy. He definitely friggin is lol.

Rhodey just gave his superior a scare when he let a tank run him over. They thought he died.

OMG Ten Rings assumed War Machine is easier target to get tech from and Rhodey feels offended, but happy they know who he is.

Rings had stark tech in that tank, oh no. Tony will be pissed even if those are old black market stuff.

AWWW RHODEY WAS WORRIED ABOUT TONY WHEN HE DIDN'T RESPOND!

"Don't do this to me, man". "Holy...! That was SOME situation" says Rhodey when he saw chitauri flying whale dead. Ok so Avengers met Rhodey in that shawarma place.

Pepper decorates according to feng shui?

So Ten Rings scanned Rhodey's armor with any scanner available and collected a lot of data on the armor anyway.

[t4tbruharvey]

past: 4, 6 - present: 2, 9, 10 - future: 3, 8 - forrr a smorgasbord of batman ocs of your choosing !!

oh FUCK yeah thanks lois!!! i am doing past for cora because most of her stuff is like.. her Villain Origin, present for ellie because I LOVE HER and future for katy because she has not too much fun stuff going on at present and her past is a mystery, even to me

PAST: cora

4 - what was the most common argument between them and whoever raised them?

definitely between her and her mum about cora's dress style and hair (which she cut short herself when she was fourteen and afterwards couldn't talk to her mum for a week without it ending in tears). it wasn't terrible and her mum did love her a lot, it was more fear that cora would be treated badly for how she presented herself, which in turn manifested in being judgemental and quick to criticise out of a misplaced sense of protection.

6 - did the location they grew up in affect them significantly? Do they still go there?

cora grew up in a slightly shittier part of gotham than everyone else (except gabi, who lived in her neighbourhood, and katy, who is british) and like 'shittier part of gotham' means 'essentially uninhabitable for normal people' so it left her with a distrust of sudden loud noises or crowded high streets or parks at night, and stuff. that said! she's probably the only one who has any kind of affection for the area she grew up in, because people were mostly kind and everyone knew their neighbours and if someone did get affected by some rogue's crime, the people in their building would band together and help them get back on their feet. people flat out don't do that in the neighbourhood she lives in now, so she visits her parents pretty much every opportunity she gets.

that said. you could not PAY HER to go near the part of the river that runs through her neighbourhood, because even though her entire villain shtick involves dragging people through the river to their death, there's no way in hell she's ever going back to the place where her brother died, even if it means she has to take an extra fifteen minutes to get to her old block.

PRESENT: ellie

2 - what is their current occupation, if any, and how did they end up there? do they enjoy it?

haha oh man thank god it's something sensible. slash j! you were tricked! it's weird! i'll be honest, i didn't actually look at the questions before assigning who got what time period, so it's really funny ellie got this because it's a core element of her character.

she's two face's secretary. :-) like does he need one? probably not! but it's wish fulfilment on my end (i think i'd make a baller secretary) and there's precedent for a right hand woman (woman, specifically) in the comics so like, sure. she wanted this job because he's her favourite rogue, a real thing that normal well adjusted gothamites have (/s) and she got the job by asking for it and then getting lucky on the coin toss. it's a lot of stress and involves a fair bit more murder than someone with a degree in business law (a real degree you can do) is qualified to do but it's genuinely very enjoyable and comes with some fun perks, such as 'access to his house when he's in jail' and 'free fucked up father figure'

9 - what kind of place do they live in?

if she's not housesitting, she lives in a pretty sweet loft near the city centre, which has a consistently working elevator and big windows, meaning it's like... reasonably elegant and classy? she's that kind of girl <3

10 - what do they always carry with them and why?

cigarettes and a lighter (that one's obvious, but she does sometimes use it to get rid of evidence of differing kinds), swiss army knife (practical and provides protection if she has to walk home at night), burner phone (good for coordinating crimes), probably like a little moleskine and some kind of pen because she doesn't care about paper quality as much as she cares about looking Sleek and Professional, reusable water bottle if she has a bag, and the gotham equivalent of an oyster card. no drivers' license because she cannot drive.

FUTURE: katy

3 - how would their beliefs or morals change in the future, if at all?

ooooooooo okay okay so right now she's a pretty wide-eyed newbie who looooooves to make excuses for the probably illegal dealings her girlfriend does, but once perlah gets shot she 100% does a u-turn and develops a very black and white view of right and wrong. criminals are bad because they caused perlah's death; perlah didn't deserve to die because she wasn't a criminal. it's an extremely flawed view but hey, she's got that sweet sweet trauma

8 - would they become a mentor figure for anyone?

like perlah, also no. unlike perlah it's because she refuses to be a mentor for anyone, and will flat out say this if someone shows an inclination towards learning life lessons from her. if anything, she'd probably turn to renee montoya looking for a mentor figure herself.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @obitobrigade

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. neptune has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around dreaming, manifesting, healing and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, love life and also your self-esteem, communication and thinking style.

your dominant planets are mercury, the sun and venus. you are a very smart person, you can be quite astute and you have great problem-solving skills. you're also quite creative, or at least you have an eye for aesthetics. you may be quite confident, or at least you're going to become more confident as time goes by. you're also very sociable and charismatic, people generally see you as someone fun to be around.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you see the world as an adventure. sagittarius risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, especially with your neptune being also conjunct your ascendant. yet, you’re probably more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses, or at least it took you a while to open up. you may relate more to pisces rising, actually. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to neptune being conjunct the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a victoria’s secret’s model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a pear/hourglass body shape, with wider hips and/or thick thighs and lower body in general. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius peers have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes. last but not least, you may have sharp cheekbones and very dark features, such as dark hair or eyes.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius neptune: you appear as a very genuine and honest person. you have a reassuring aura about you, which could attract people to you. in fact, you seem and sound like a healer, hence broken people may find comfort in you. you’re an hopeless romantic, and this may make you look sort of naive, almost childlike. you feel the need to revolution the world, there’s an hidden rebel in you that needs change and justice. yet, you struggle to take action. it’s like your assertiveness is stuck deep inside of you, and you can’t take it out. hence, you cope with this through escapism; you may oversleep, overwork, drink, daydream, do drugs… anything that allows your mind to travel away from your sense of justice. you always want to be seen likeable, hence you may act differently based on the situation you’re in. you’re kind of a chameleon. identity issues are also common with this placement, as you may feel the need to be part of a group, yet you can’t. you’re too complex to be part of only one category, you can’t classify yourself. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look on them, and they’re probably very big and round. possibly, they’re also hooded, with long eyelashes. your skin may be naturally pale, or at least there’s something light in your face, even like some tiny sparkles in your eyes. you may also have a naturally clear skin.

🌞 sun in gemini, 9° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

with your sign in the mutable sign of gemini, you are a very light-hearted, chill individual. you're very bright and bubbly, you have amazing communication skills and also an entertaining sense of humor that is able to light up the room. you're very sociable, you like interacting with others, and with your fire placements you surely don't struggle to let this side of you out. since gemini is a mutable sign, you most likely have tons of interests and hobbies, they're so many that you find it hard to keep up with all of them, despite being extremely good at multi-tasking. in fact, you're particularly intelligent and thirsty for knowledge. you like learning about everything, you love looking and being smart. it's your way to feel empowered and proud of yourself. you always need freshness in your daily life, you cannot stand boredom. because of that, you may often change your ideas, your hobbies, your favourite singer, etc. sometimes, you could even apply this to friends and lovers, and people may consider you unloyal or not much serious because of that. in addition, you get easily very anxious and stressed, to the point that you may seem dramatic to others. you may also get scared easily, even though you try to stay collected thanks to your taurus mars.

gemini sun conjunct gemini mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy sagittarius dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

gemini sun square virgo saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

🌙 moon in leo, 7° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

you are a social butterfly. even though it may seem like you're looking for attention, it's not your priority. you're so charismatic and bubbly that you get naturally noticed. this is the most trustworthy leo decan, and also the most benevolent. you can be quite dramatic when you express your reactions; e.g. you scream when you're angry, or maybe you get really loud when you're excited or happy about something. you could also vent your emotions punching things, for example. just like the sun, the heat of your emotions needs to be felt by those who surround you. you'd do anything to help someone, especially with your sagittarius rising. you just want the best for anyone, even though people may take advantage of this generosity of yours. in addition, you could hardly ever say no, especially to people you're not close to. your heart is aligned with your feelings; you're naturally kind-hearted, you're prone to say things as you feel them. on the other hand, you may not be aware of how your thoughts may influence others. you're also very artistic! you might be into drawing/painting, or at least into art history, or maybe literature, poetry etc. anything that involves creativity and self-expresssion. you can be quite egotistic regarding your emotions: you always try to interpret people's feelings, so you get deeply upset when people don't understand you, especially when they don't even try.

leo moon square taurus venus: there are contrasting feelings in your relationships with others; after all, your taurus venus wants to commit to someone and be loyal to them. on the other hand, your leo moon wants to be free. you don't want to feel tied to someone, you still need your independency. those two desires of yours probably contrast each other, stressing you out. you want a calm, almost boring relationship, but with this placement you can't seem to have one. your feelings and self-esteem may depend a lot on your relationships, not only with your lovers, but also with your friends. if someone isn't loyal to you, you immediately start blaming yourself. in your life you may lack intimacy, and while it may make you feel better at first, based on the rest of your chart you actually need someone on your side. you can't do everything on your own. it's very challenging, but you need to find someone that projects your ideals of love. if you need a free-spirit, go look for one. it may take you a while, but if you learn all the lessons you need to learn from your breakups, you'll be able to live a peaceful life with your spouse.

leo moon square taurus mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around. you don't seem strong, you're just exposing your weaknesses in this way.

leo moon conjunct leo jupiter: you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your moon conjunct jupiter, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 10° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner, even though you could be a bit too logical and lack intuition. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

gemini mercury square virgo saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward, and due to your fire energy you always seem as if you’re up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often with others, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking with others more at work, anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.

❤️ venus in taurus, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you seek long-lasting relationships. you're very romantic, and this fixed influence gives you high standards for your partner, you stay back from players. you look for someone you can always count on, and that is willing to support you through thick and thin. it may take you a while to find someone worth to be your lover, but once you find them, you'll always be loyal to them as long as they're respectful. they're your most precious possession, hence you're very jealous and protective of them. if it becomes unhealthy for both you and your partner, it's surely an issue you have to solve, maybe together. you're also the type who likes to be spoiled by their lover, and wants to make lovely gifts as well. these gifts don't have to be expensive, even homemade things are fine. for example, you may melt at the thought of your significant other to take their time and do something exclusively for you, like baking a cake or writing a poem. little gestures that show you their love. in a potential partner, you also care about how they present themselves. I'm not necessarily talking about conventional beauty, but more on a self-care side. you like people who smell good, have a nice fashion sense and maybe people that are quite conceited too (obviously not to the point of narcissism).

taurus venus conjunct taurus mars: you are very serious when it comes to love. you seek intense, long-lasting relationships, filled with both romance and passion. ironically, you tend to attract people that are the opposite, who are only looking for fun and casual romance. that could afflict your self-worth significantly, as you feel unlucky in love. this is also another placement that indicates that one of your parents, probably your father, or still anyone of the opposite sex probably influenced your approach to romance and sex. there are different scenarios I have in mind, but I'll talk about it later in the family life section.

☄️ mars in taurus, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

with taurus mars, you may actually despise working too much. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. most taurus mars tend to be quite passive, yet I don't think it's your case. I imagine that with your heavy sagittarius energy, and also mars opposing uranus, you've got a hot temper. you may try to avoid conflicts, but once someone gets on your nerves it's over for them. you're very unpredictable from this point of view, it's hard to decipher you. you may be more verbally aggressive than physically, though.

taurus mars square leo jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius. you come off as someone very optimistic and bold, you're probably the fun one in the family or in your group of friends. you are very charismatic, you have a witty sense of humor and people are always pleased to have you around, as you're able to light up the room. you are probably quite sociable, you may smile often and people always see you as someone easy to talk to, someone trustworthy. you are very optimistic, you probably have great problem-solving skills or, otherwise, you just ignore your problems and wait for time to heal. you're also quite spiritual, you may be sensitive to higher entities and you could possibly also be religious.

your 2nd house is in capricorn. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; it could be that it may take you a while to earn money, you could have struggled with finances in your early years. ment that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem wasn't stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. on the other hand, since you've already passed your saturn return, you're probably way more responsible now. you know how to deal with and gain money, and through hard work you can even earn quite a lot.

your 3rd house is in the sign of pisces. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy, but I assume that this naturally healed with time.

your 4th house is in aries. while outside you may appear as very polite, when you feel comfortable you actually become way more fiery. you’re very impulsive in your home environment, you could have actually been some sort of warrior. maybe you used to argue a lot with your parents, perhaps because they were too overprotective. it wasn’t totally peaceful, there were a few events that made you hold a grudge, maybe even subconsciously. it might be regarding a family member, or even a childhood mate. during your childhood, you weren’t much sad, though. it could be that your home environment was a bit intense at times, or maybe one of your parents is absent, emotionally or physically, but it was nothing too serious, as your mars isn't bad aspected at all.

your 5th house is in taurus, with also venus and mars placed there. you are a very creative, artistic person. you’re able to relax by watching netflix, eating, writing, painting… anything that can be done at home. you’re not the type to hang out too often or party all night, you’re more of a homebody. you could also love sleeping in, just being able to stay in bed all day wearing comfy clothes is a vacation for you. you probably had to grow up sooner than others kids, you seemed much more serious and mature than them. but remember, while this placement gives you a strong sense of duty, it’s also important to nurture your creativity, especially since your placements indicate that you have a very strong imagination. in fact, I see you earning money thanks to your big dreams, you could surely be successful in a creative or artistic career. you could work behind the scenes, you could be a graphic designer, a photographer, a videomaker, a screenwriter, or you may even be a celebrity of any kind. you could also work in the beauty field, such as a mua, a hairdresser or as a stylist. praise and success are what motivate you the most. your main goal in life is being praised for achieving your goals, you wouldn't feel motivated without compliments. therefore, you put energy in things that make you feel confident and noticed, as you enjoy being seen. for example, if you feel confident being well-dressed, you could spend hours in the closet to look how you want. you are very creative, you get an energy boost through creative outlets, and hence your hobbies (reading, writing, dancing, singing, drawing, etc.) recharge your battery. this placement also makes you very extra, especially with people you're close to. you may gesticulate a lot, you could as well enjoy mimicking others' voices. you're basically very dramatic, you seem like an actor when you react, but at least you're very fun and entertaining to watch and listen.

your 6th house is in taurus, with also your sun and mercury placed there. you may find yourself dating people at your work place, or maybe at school you used to go out with people from your class/school. romance is part of your daily life for you. you like surrounding yourself with venusian aesthetic, so you probably take care of your body, your fashion, your home and so on. you may also be very fond of animals and money. this placement usually makes someone procrastinate a bit, you may have the habit of dedicating yourself too much to your passions without finishing your work, but I don't think it's your case. there are other placements in your chart that make you more hard-working than you look. you are in fact very dedicated to your job and routine. you probably don't like changes, you'd rather follow a schedule in your day-to-day life. your job and skills could be the key to make you gain more confidence in yourself, as they would give you the independency that you crave due to your sagittarius rising. you may have a job that allows you to earn a great income, and perhaps you could heal people with it. hence, you could be some sort of therapist, counselor, nurse or even something more artistic, like a writer. anything that allows you to heal people with your words would be suitable for you. you could also work in a place where you have to handle others' money or possessions in general. you're very smart and insightful, and you strive for perfection; in a room, you always want to be the best, whether it's fashion-wise, or maybe at work or school. you're a perfectionist, you can't bear being #2. to be perfect, you don't bring others down like aries, though. that's because you want to prove your power to yourself, not to others. it's like a way to increase you low self-esteem. in fact, it depends a lot on your achievements; if you don't meet your expectations, you start going through a hard time of insecurity and struggles.

your 7th house is in gemini. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. you may meet your future spouse at work, according to your chart. otherwise, you could meet them in a bank, in a restaurant, at a concert, at the mall… also, they could help you gaining more confidence in yourself.

your 8th house is in cancer. the moon and jupiter are also placed there. you are a very private individual, you have trust issues and you only share your concerns with people you're sure you can trust. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have the moon's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. when you don’t get rid of all your negative vibes when angry, you may tend to get physically sick; you could get stomachaches, or maybe even headaches. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to entities too, like ghosts, spirits...

your 9th house is in virgo. you have a practical approach to philosophy and your thoughts in general. that is, you’re able to grasp a lot of information that makes you think more about your identity. you’re interested in psychology, and that explains why you decided to get your chart read after all. you were a perfectionist at school, and you probably had amazing grades. you are very justice-driven, you like learning new stuff and being the #1 at pretty much everything you care about. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. saturn is also here: this placement also indicates that you'll most likely get to work abroad, or perhaps you'll come in contact with people from all over the world, therefore you may have to speak another language or deal with new cultures. during your early years you may feel stuck, you may lack freedom perhaps due to your finances as well, but as time goes by it only gets better, making you more confident, brave and independent.

your 10th house is in libra, with also your pluto placed there. you have an eye for aesthetics, and you want to have a reputation for looking classy and mannered. basically a lady, but that knows how to stand up for herself. in your ideal career you need something that makes you express your need for beauty, possibly even justice. you may have a passion for poetry and literature in general, or maybe you could be particularly skilled at fashion. you have a natural talent to match colours with undertones, body shapes, vibes etc., and you could make this particular ability of yours a job. you’re also a charismatic, strong-willed speaker, hence you could also do well as a lawyer, a politician, an activist etc. your ideal career involves arts and aesthetics. you could become an artist, a writer, a poet, an actress, an interior designer, a stylist… this type of things. also, your career and indipendence are most likely to boost your self-esteem. in addition, you may also be able to get very well-paid, you could even be in the spotlight or famous.

your 11th house is in scorpio, with also your uranus sitting there. you are extremely picky with your friends. you have a few trust issues, probably caused by your karmic issues again, that make you secretive around your friends. you may close yourself in your shell, or maybe you actually know a lot of people, yet you only consider a few of them your friends. most of the time, you may also befriend people that try to take advantage of you. or perhaps, since there’s a possibility that you understand that, you could be the one who leads the group and acts quite bossy. this is something that gets naturally better with time; actually, your friends will be of great help for you to grow up. you may have big dreams for your future, yet you may feel intimidated as they’re very intense, and hence hard to make come true. you need to pay your karmic debts in order to finally feel comfortable with others and have the motivation to achieve your long-term goals.

your 12th house is in scorpio again, with also neptune placed there. this is another placement that indicates that you crave intense, life-changing bonds, but that you also tame them. you're afraid of being betrayed, and hence you just end up repressing your feelings. on the other hand, this placement makes you extremely spiritual. you may be attracted to the occult or any spiritual topic: astrology, tarots, even spirits. you may use these tools to get to know yourself more. you can become aware of your karmic issues thanks to astrology for example, and use it to finally solve and break free from your limitations. it's important for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self in this lifetime. it will probably make your life much easier. you could even have very vivid dreams, and perhaps you may predict the future through them.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract gemini, virgo, taurus, aquarius, aries and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and taurus qualities: they’ll be extremely hard-working, mature and responsible, but also very romantic and sensual as well. they'll be a great listener, and they'll help you sharing your feelings. living with them won’t be boring at all, it may spice up your routine a bit. you are probably going to meet them at work, or at any kind of social gathering. concerts, restaurants, banks are also probable places of the meeting between you and your future spouse. your children will have taurus qualities; they’ll be pretty artsy and creative, probably also very beautiful. they could be a bit lazy, sleep a lot and they will also love eating. yet, they may as well have capricorn placements, and hence they'll develop a strong sense of duty with time that will make them extremely hard-working.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. she could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and she might have a bit of a childish behaviour. deep down, she’s actually kind of insecure with her role as a mother. she may have aries, libra, taurus placements in her chart. your father, on the other hand, is more submissive. he’s a peaceful person, even though he most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. you could actually have a better relationship with him rather than with your mother, or at least he understands your needs better. he may have libra, scorpio, aries, virgo placements in his chart. if you have siblings, they most probably have aries, pisces or sagittarius placements in their chart. you may have an amazing relationship with them, you may understand each other very deeply and your bond could be quite emotional, even though you may argue from time to time. you may also look alike a lot.

📊 career

I certainly see you being successful in your career, you will most likely work alone and you'll most likely be a boss. you're very hard-working, so I can see you having your own business for example. otherwise, you may also do well in an aesthetic field, or even more practical jobs like lawyer, judge, possibly also a therapist or psychologist. you have probably a creative talent to you that could make you quite successful. you would also make a great singer, actress, writer, model, photographer... you'll basically get to communicate something in an artistic, creative way. overall, you want a job where you don't really have to depend on others. actually, you probably strive to be your own boss.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

with your heavy venus presence, I'm sure you're very elegant. even if you're just wearing a sweatshirt with pants, you still manage to make it look so expensive and particular. you may like pastel, light colours, or even earthy shades like kaki, brown etc. you prefer using comfortable clothes, but you definitely know how to dress up when you have to. you might also be very fond of accessories, like jewellery and bags. you may also enjoy buying designer clothes, but even if they're cheaper, you want them to be of a nice quality. you may also enjoy going thrift shopping, as you may like wearing 'timeless' items, such as white shirts, blazers, coats, classic heels... basically, versatile clothes that are a must in your wardrobe, as they've always been trendy. you could also love oversized fits, as well as 80s/90s aesthetic.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 29th

with transit venus forming a conjunction to your natal jupiter in leo, you're probably feeling very sociable these days. you could be doing well financially, you may save money easily or perhaps money naturally flows to you. in addition, you could also be feeling comfortable with the way you look, you feel like going out and spending time with others.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

[killingeveperspectives]

Perspective: Can redeeming Villanelle make her character less iconic?

Have you ever heard of the Codex Gigas? Also known as ‘The Devil’s bible’, it is the largest illuminated manuscript in the world according to Wikipedia. It is told that a monk made a pact with the Devil himself and feverishly wrote the entire book in one night! As an acknowledgment to his partner he drew his monstrous figure in one of the pages. Said page looks different from the others, as if touched by some malignant magic. Today we know the reason for it: the page suffered the most deterioration for being the most exposed. For centuries people could not get enough of this character: The Devil. Indeed, we have codified ways to save ourselves from the metaphorical Devil – ourselves. We invented sins and crimes to tame something deeply primal within us. Freud called it id, the origin of all that which makes us tick: impulses, instinct, drives, libido. It reckons only two things: pleasure and satisfaction. If we could strip ourselves from all inhibition there would be impulse and sensation. It would be brutal ecstasy. But what would be of the world if all 7 billion of us would uncompromisingly seek to satisfy our impulses? Hell, so we don’t.

But through art we can glimpse at what this liberation would feel like. Some sort of existential voyeurism. Aristotle would call it catharsis, but what does he know? This is how some of the most remarkable characters were born, they mesmerize us by being their id – unapologetically, terrifyingly, charmingly – like the Devil himself. Characters like Hannibal Lecter, The Joker, Alex DeLarge; they are larger than life, unbind, amoral and extremely bright (and all male). Like Hannibal brilliantly put it in Silence of the Lambs: “Nothing happened to me, officer Starling, I happened” or like the perverted childlike Alex explain in A Clockwork Orange: “What I do I do because I like to do”. As simple as that. Pure satisfaction of impulse because they feel like it. When we, uneased by what they represent, want explanations or justifications, The Joker toys with us, always giving us a different version of his tragic background, as if he knew we want to give him an excuse and, in good joker fashion, he makes a huge joke out of it. They take it very seriously to explain to us what went wrong with them, because it doesn’t really matter.

While the id makes us organic, whole creatures, many attributes of it have been culturally dissociated from womanhood. The violent, self-preserving and egoistic impulses were replaced with nurturing, self-sacrifice and compassion – not surprisingly the only impulse afforded to women is motherhood (or sexual desire for the satisfaction of another). Therefore, women cannot fully materialize their humanity. These raging impulses feel alien to womanhood, something imposed on to them by circumstance so severe that it warps the nature of the female itself. Aggressive women are sad and broken, or vengeful, or mad, or sexualized – these are the portrayals we have been conditioned to expect from fiction. When compared to their male counterparts, even mild violence in a female character almost immediately requires an explanation: how someone betrayed them, or abused them, or they were conditioned into it. Rage and aggression are never theirs to own, it is always extrinsically sourced.

On a superficial level, the character of Villanelle doesn’t seem so unique. Immediately one could think of Nikita in La femme Nikita, who was a drug junkie teen, rescued and transformed into a cold-blooded femme-fatale assassin by the shadowy government group “The Centre” after they faked her death to break her from prison (Uncannily similar?). Or the movie Anna by the same writer, where a Russian girl accepts a KGB offer to be trained into an assassin in order to escape her abusive homelife. Or Marvel’s black widow who is also a Russian spy, apparently brainwashed by USSR to become an assassin. Other female assassins include The bride in Kill Bill who set off into a revenge killing spree after being brutally assaulted and left for dead, and other movies I vaguely remember about abused women becoming assassins to seek revenge, or shallow sexy female assassins with no purpose for existing other than being the sexy female assassin. However, all these characters were made into assassins by external factors. Villanelle is set apart from the typical femme-fatale assassin trope by owning her own joy of killing, by the rejection of the broken female narrative and the rejection of the objectifying male gaze. In order to unmistakably ground these traits alienated from women – violence, disregard, cruelty, indifference, sadism, risk-taking – in her nature, the character was written as a primary psychopath. Being an assassin fits her natural talents, not the other way around    

Villanelle could occupy a very special place among a roster of remarkable fictional characters like the ones mentioned earlier. She is the female embodiment of absolute, remorseless indulgence and rage, representing the unashamed satisfaction of women’s impulses, for her own enjoyment alone, with style and wit – A truly magnetic character and fresh perspective. In psychopathic Villanelle, women are allowed to reclaim these violent impulses, which is oddly empowering and humanizing. Give us that. Brilliantly, the cathartic element is mirrored by Eve herself. Eve too sees her unfulfilled and alienated impulses incarnated in Villanelle, which in turn sparks Eve’s exploration of her own identity. Ultimately Villanelle’s seduction to embrace impulse despite its danger is at the core of their electric attraction and conflict.

Thus, by retconning Villanelle in Season 3, the character no longer represents the provoking embodiment of female drive, managing to become an elevated female assassin trope, at best. The challenging take on womanhood, instead plays into all of the expectations. Villanelle is no longer a female true to her nature that gets a kick from being an assassin; but a troubled girl, tortured into becoming a killing machine by a past of abuse. A broken woman who rejects the violence instilled into her once she finds healing. Interestingly, it is not that she merely chooses not to kill but she is unable to carry on the act, signifying the deeper alienation of the violent impulse from her own self – the same impulse that once made her so iconic. This lack of impetus to kill is but a symptom of the decreased character’s libido in general: fewer shopping sprees, less savory eating, less unpretentious playfulness, less color, less eroticism, less aggression, less danger. Unfortunately, it also means the weakening of her dynamic with Eve. Villanelle is being tamed, and its well… not her best take.

We, the audience, perceive this lack of vitality oozing into the entire show, but once you shift what Villanelle represents this is inevitable. Villanelle becomes mundane, and it brings the nostalgia of the force of nature she once was. It leaves a similar taste as the brutal transformation of Alex from despicable nihilistic hedonist into a model citizen in A clockwork orange: a conflicted perverted sadness at the loss of Alex’s authenticity despite him turning into a “better” human being – ingeniously, his redemption was to gain his despicable impulses back. 

The initial character design of Villanelle was something unique and authentic. However, In the process of redeeming her, she might become a new iteration of a trope explored several times that simply reflect the current space of female characters and lack conceptual originality. Yet, there is still room for the recuperation of Villanelle’s transgressive power: a subversive redemption. By incorporating the impulsive indulgence and violence back into the character, Villanelle’s arc can be taken somewhere new, complex and truly special. A remarkable character we can’t get enough of – like the Devil herself.

[doakaptan]

i try to analyze tableau vivant in popular culture and fail miserably

Hello and welcome to me suffering, in 4k. 

This week we focused on a hefty little thing (a big big thing that is probably one of the most important parts of a film, if not the most important) called mise-en-scene. According to our lecture slides, it was first applied to the practice of directing plays then used to signify a director’s control over what is present within the film frame. It is the arrangement of props, lights, actors, etc. Also, mise-en-scene is also something that we use to analyze a work.

Now, how do we use it in the context of tableau vivant? Well, first I should probably figure out what a tableau vivant is. 

To simply put it, tableau vivant is a living painting. In the context of movies and pictures, the actors mimic a painting and its mise-en-scene in the mentioned mediums.

When I looked up examples, I realized the pictures that come up are mostly homemade recreations of paintings and, it occurred to me that all the Turkish people who went to high school between the years 2015-2019, have been in a tableau vivant. You see, we had this challenge where students recreated famous paintings within their class and everyone did the same paintings over and over again but, in my opinion, it is still something . 

I did not attend high school enough to be in one of these so, I won’t talk about it anymore thank you.

Bonus: The most obvious example, Ariana Grande God is a Woman , several paintings and sculptures are recreated in the form of tableau vivant.

Tableau vivant within film is hard to get it right. It requires extreme attention to detail and a great vision to fit into the overall theme of the film. If I’m not wrong most of Wes Anderson’s work functions like tableau vivant. He has the eye for it and his mise-en-scene is more reminiscent of paintings than real life. Due to my ADHD, I simply cannot sit through an entire film anymore so I did not pile up on any Wes Anderson references.. And I’m sorry if the examples I came up with are too outdated, overused or, simply irrelevant. 

When we first started talking about tableau vivant, all I could think about was the ending scene of the Truman Show. I knew the scene was inspired from a painting but I could not remember what it was but, while I was researching I came across the painting and it finally clicked. 

Rene Magritte’s Architecture Au Clair De Luna, was not as similar as I remembered it but, I think this makes more sense than what I had in mind. 

The moon is flat but, illuminates the architectural elements of the painting quite well. The architecture within the painting stands out without having a central focus and I think it gives it a mysterious atmosphere feeling outer-worldly. Also, the arc and the first flight of stairs create a 3-dimensional feeling but the overall image feels oddly flat. The lighting is too white to be natural almost like the moon is not actually supplying it, and the way light falls on top of the sphere and the stairs feel natural but, the color of the light and the 2 dimensional part is not.

When I put it that way the scene perfectly captures the eerie feeling of the painting. Because this is where Truman frees himself from the world he once believed to be real and the way clouds are 2-dimensional supports the idea. Truman’s world was once 2-dimensional as well but even though we don’t see him after he goes through the door/the arc we know he’s going to step into the real world (you know 3-dimensional like in the arc in the painting).

The scene also reminded me of La Reconnaissance Infinie (The Infinite Recognition) but, it's probably because of the clouds that I feel that way.

Even though, Paul Colinet talked about the painting as, ‘The subject of this painting is the Moon. What we have to do is find something that really makes us feel we are on a spherical world. If the moon illuminates a scene, it mustn’t be ranked as an indifferent spectator or a mere go-between, or simply have a picturesque role. A trap for the moon, an incantation, a lunar mirror – these give a slight idea of the sort of thing we should be looking for.’ (Sarah Whitfield, Magritte, The South Bank Centre, 1992). Which oddly fits with The Truman show when we look into it.

I also want to talk about another film (I swear it's going to be short). I really like Rene Magritte’s work and as I was writing it occurred to me that the scene that the priest arrives is oddly similar to his The Empire of the Light painting. 

I ran a few blocks and videos to see if it was included and yes, yes it is. The imagery of the light is used to create an atmosphere both in the painting and the film. Even the placement of the lamp is similar. The mise-en-scene of the painting is protected in the scene (other than the blue tint but I think it adds to it).

Bonus: again the most obvious example, Girl with the pearl earring, it's even in the title, genius I know.

With this, my attempt at analyzing tableau vivant is over and, this is the first time I didn’t go over thousand words, hooray !

Now, If you excuse me I have to go to bed and, wake up early to go get the tray of brownies I accidentally bought. Cheers.

[ifthereisnowind]

capitalism

context: why does it make me cringe? why does sales make me cringe?

why did I feel for a while that I don’t want to get caught up in the career ladder?

why do I judge people who chase money or fame?

what should truly motivate us at work

In a perfect world, when it came to choosing an occupation, we would have only two priorities in mind:

– to find a job that we enjoyed

– to find a job that paid us enough to cover reasonable material needs

But in order to think so freely, we would have to be emotionally balanced in a way that few of us are. In reality, when it comes to choosing an occupation, we tend to be haunted by three additional priorities. We need:

– to find a job that will pay not just enough to cover reasonable material expenses but a lot more besides, enough to impress other people – even other people we don’t like very much.

– we crave to find a job that will allow us not to be at the mercy of other people, whom we may deep down fear and distrust.

– and we hope for a job that will make us well known, esteemed, honoured and perhaps famous, so that we will never again have to feel small or neglected.

reforming capitalism

The system we know as Capitalism is both wondrously productive and hugely problematic. On the downside, capitalism promotes excessive inequality; it valorises immediate returns over long-term benefits; it addicts us to unnecessary products and it encourages excessive consumption of the world’s resources with potentially disastrous consequences – and that’s just a start. We are now deeply familiar with what can go wrong with Capitalism. But that is no reason to stop dreaming about some of the ways in which Capitalism could one day operate in a Utopian future.

What we want to see is the rise of other – equally important – figures that report on a regular basis on elements of psychological and sociological life and which could form part of the consciousness of thoughtful and serious people. When we measure things – and give the figures a regular public airing – we start the long process of collectively doing something about them.

The man is indeed employed, but in truth, he belongs to a large subsection of those in work we might term the ‘misemployed’. His labour is generating capital, but it is making no contribution to human welfare and flourishing. He is joined in the misemployment ranks by people who make cigarettes, addictive but sterile television shows, badly designed condos, ill-fitting and shoddy clothes, deceptive advertisements, artery-clogging biscuits and highly-sugared drinks (however delicious).

We intuitively recognise it when we think of work as ‘just a job’; when we sense that far too much of our time, effort and intelligence is spent on meetings that resolve little, on chivying people to sign up for products that – in our heart of hearts we don’t admire.

Fortunately, there are real solutions to bringing down the rate of misemployment. The trick isn’t just to stimulate demand per se, the trick is to stimulate the right demand: to excite people to buy the constituents of true satisfaction, and therefore to give individuals and businesses a chance to direct their labour, and make profits, in meaningful areas of the economy.

This is precisely what needs to be changed – and urgently. Society should do a systematic deal with capitalists: it should give them the honour and love they so badly crave in exchange for treating their workers as human beings, not abusing customers and properly looking after the planet. A standard test should be drawn up to measure the societal good generated by companies (many such schemes already exist in nascent form), on the basis of which capitalists should then be given extraordinarily prestigious titles by their nations in ceremonies with the grandeur and thrill of film premieres or sporting finales.

There’s no shortage: we need help in forming cohesive, interesting communities. We need help in bringing up children. We need help in calming down at key moments (the cost of our high anxiety and rage is appalling in aggregate). We require immense assistance in discovering our real talents in the workplace and understanding where we can best deploy them (a service in this area would matter a great deal more to us than pizza delivery). We have unfulfilled aesthetic desires. Elegant town centres, charming high streets and sweet villages are in desperately short supply and are therefore absurdly expensive – just as, prior to Henry Ford, cars existed but were very rare and only for the very rich.

But we know the direction we need to head to: we need the drive and inventiveness of Capitalism to tackle the higher, deeper problems of life. This will offer an exit from the failings and misery that attend Capitalism today. In a nutshell, the problem is that we waste resources on unimportant things. And we are wasteful, ultimately, because we lack self-knowledge, because we are using consumption merely to divert or quieten anxieties or in a vain search for status and belonging.

If we could just address our deeper needs more directly, our materialism would be refined and restrained, our work would be more meaningful and our profits would be more honourable. That’s the ideal future of Capitalism.

In the Utopia, businesses would of course have to be profitable. But the success of a business would primarily be assessed in terms of its contribution to the collective good.

On changing the world

the only way to bring about real change is to act through competing institutions. Revolutions in consciousness cannot be made lasting and effective until legions of people start to work together in concert for a common aim and, rather than relying on the intermittent pronouncements of mountain-top prophets, begin the unglamorous and deeply boring task of wrestling with issues of law, money, long-term mass communication, advocacy and administration.

Our collective ideal of the free thinker is that of someone living beyond the confines of any system, disdainful of ‘boring things’, cut off from practical affairs and privately perhaps rather proud of being unable even to read a balance sheet. It’s a fatally romantic recipe for keeping the status quo unchanged.

We have to make what we already know very well more effective out there. The urgent question is how to ally the very many good ideas which currently slumber in the recesses of intellectual life with proper organisational tools that actually stand a chance of giving them real impact in the world. From a completely secular starting point, it can be worth studying religions to learn how to alter behaviour.

This is what religions have, for their part, excelled at doing. They’ve realised that if you put down an important idea on paper in somewhat pedestrian prose, it won’t have any lasting or mass impact. They’ve therefore, over their history, engaged the most skilled artists to wrap their ideas in the coating of beauty. They have asked Bach and Mozart to put the ideas to music, they have asked Titian and Botticelli to give the ideas a visual form, they’ve asked the best fashion designers to make nice looking clothes and they’ve asked the best architects to design the most impressive and moving buildings to give the ideas heft and permanence.

We should use the history of religion to inform us about the role of repetition, ritual and beauty in the name of changing how things are.

There is a great deal of large-scale ambition in the world, but all the largest corporate entities are focused on servicing basic needs: the mechanics of communication, inexpensive things to eat, energy so we can move about. While our higher needs – for love, beauty, wisdom – have no comparable provision. The drive to grandeur is missing just where we need it most.

Good business

So, inevitably, businesses will evolve to profit from their wishes. Capitalism has not traditionally been interested in whether these are sensible, admirable or worthy desires. Its aim is neutral: to make money from supplying whatever people happen to be willing to pay for.

Philosophy, by contrast, has long recognised a crucial distinction between desires and needs:

A desire is whatever you feel you want at the moment.

A need is for something that serves your long-term well being.

And it’s our needs that are required for a satisfying, fulfilled life (which Plato, Aristotle and others call a life marked by eudaimonia).

Capitalism goes wrong when it exploits this cognitive flaw: large numbers of businesses sell us stuff that we desire but which (in all honesty) we don’t need. On longer, calmer reflection we’d realise those things don’t actually help us to live well.

Sadly, it’s easier to generate profits from desires than from needs. You can make much more money selling bad ice cream than by marketing Plato’s dialogues.

In a utopia, good businesses should be defined not simply by whether they are profitable or not; but by what they make their profit from. Only businesses that satisfy true needs are moral.

Good capitalism requires that we address two, core educational needs. Getting us to focus on what we really need, what the real challenges in our lives are. And getting us to focus on the value of particular goods in relation to our needs: that is, how do these particular purchases help with eudaimonia?

So, in search of a better economy, we should direct our attention not simply to shopping centres and financial institutions, but to schools and universities and the media. The shape that an economy has ultimately reflects the educated insights of its consumers. When people say they hate consumerism, what they often mean is that they are dismayed at peoples’ preferences. The fault, then, lies not so much with consumption as with the preferences. Education transforms preferences not by making us do what someone else tells us. But by giving us the capacities and skills to understand more clearly what we genuinely do want and what sort of goods and services will best help us.

tbc

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. Green deltas are for requested prompts.)

Choo choo, the Sickfic Express has just arrived in Galar, straight from Oreburgh City! 

First fic of 2020 is a sickfic oneshot. How rivetting. I've very recently beaten Pokémon Sword and loved it! I found myself really loving the characters, what they are and what they've already become in my mind, so I couldn't help myself but type what I know best... A sickfic. Also, this fandom needs more of this stuff, so here. I'm providing. Is this story OOC? Chances they are. Was it absolutely a blast to write? You bet. I'm probably gonna look back on it later down the lane and be uncomfortable with how I depicted the characters; but you do need to discover the characters first, and what better opportunity for that than a little sickfic with some angst and pre-rel dramatic tension? Anyway, I hope you'll like this lil' thing I busted out in literally a couple hours. I forgot how fun it was to write without worrying yourself over continuity or already established elements like in Earth Never Stops... Btw, this fic was originally requested to me as a FE3H fill for Hubert, so I decided I'd most likely use another square on my card for him. Sorry Nonnie for this, my inspiration got the best of me yet again! 

----------------

Candles in the Rain

Summary: Is feverishly staggering through the damp streets of Hammerlocke under the rain with very little hope to feel warmth again and even less sense of direction a fitting end for a former Champion now that he's been defeated once? Scratch that: he doesn't have the time or brain power remaining to process such a question. Or: Leon witnesses a miracle in the form of a little dog and a childhood friend.

Fandom: Pokémon Sword and Shield (post-canon/game: beware for spoilers) Relationships: Pre-relationship Leon/Sonia

Wordcount: 3.1K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

-------------

The streets of Hammerlocke are covered by a thick layer of rainwater, typical early winter in Galar. Nobody dares going against the terrible weather, which isn’t unlike the flooding that almost ate Kabu’s region of origin, or rather how he once described it based on bedtime stories, a couple thousand years ago. Honestly, after what Galar just went through, he can believe the tale to have been real all along, no issue there…

As always, he’s lost in the grand city of his main rival, and that frustrates him. He’s cold from the water having filled his shoes and wet his hair for hours and hours on end, not even the fire of the camp being able to make him feel warmer. If it wasn’t for his partners’ demands, urging him to stop camping in the wilderness and find a Centre already, he’d have surely stayed in the Wild Area and biked to a better spot. Ah, he misses Postwick, now. At least, he can’t get lost in Postwick, there’d be Hop and his now-Champion best friend, if not Sonia paying them all a visit, and there’d be the warmth of his childhood home… Gods, perhaps he does miss the peaceful life of a ten-year-old whose only contact to the Gym Challenge is dreams of grandeur.

Ah, if it didn’t rain so badly, Charizard could be warming the both of them as he tried to make his way to the nearest Centre.

 Despite his best efforts to remain proud and confident, he ends up having to lean against a wall to stop a coughing fit from suddenly urging itself out of there. He must look pathetic and he does wish, deep down, that someone would get out of their house for a reason or another, recognize him like literally everybody in Galar; but his pride and brand would be on the line, and nobody is fighting against the terrible, terrible weather today. He’s all alone in the streets of the city, pushing himself from the wall with wobbly arms, trying his hardest to remember where to go with slow, hazy thoughts…

Even if he was cold merely moments before, his head now burns. He feels too hot under clothes that are wildly unfitting of such a muddy season, despite the hair rising on what is exposed of his arms. A Cramorant stole his jacket when he was training, a Linoone tried to steal his stuff, and he ended up having a Pokemon knocked out and losing most of his healing items in the kerfuffle. It really hasn’t been his day, lately…

 His chest hurts. Not from the outside, as if he had injured himself in one of the falls he endured trying to feel from the Wild Area with no Pokemon to battle with and the slippery grass constantly trying to get the best of him, but from the inside. He doesn’t doubt the possible existence of bruises under the shirt that sticks to his limbs like a second, drenched skin; but this isn’t it. It intensifies when he coughs and it rattles strangely. When he tries to ignore the excruciating weather wishing for his demise, he hears the strange sounds his breathing now makes. He doesn’t know them so, in a moment of out-of-character lack of reason, he gets scared of them and vaguely wonders about worst-case scenarios.

It isn’t just his chest either. It’s his throat, it’s his mouth, it’s his feet, it’s his legs. Everything in his body is tired and screaming for rest, but he cannot provide it for any of his own self at the moment, stuck trying to navigate with what little he can distinguish with almost-closed eyes from how much he has to squint. His eyes can’t focus anymore, this much he realizes with a bitter sense of resignation, so everything he sees is blurry, including the weird gooey stuff he keeps coughing out whenever he can’t breathe anymore and has to stop for who knows how long.

 He trips over his own unmade shoe tie, losing in one fell swoop what was left of his balance, and falls right into the rainwater that has accumulated on the ground. It sounds and looks and feels like it’s the end, that this is where his journey ends: in some damp street of a city that he has never been able to find his way in, alone, cold and hot at the same time, rain burying him with the rest of the pavement. Not that he even thinks he has the energy to go on… Not like that. Not when his strength, the only thing he thought he had left, has all but given up on him too. Truly alone in a time where, sitting against a giant wall, he realizes what has been going on and poisoning his breath. Hah, ironic.

Still, this isn’t how he should admit defeat. He’s been won over now, and recently at that, and it’d be more than a shame for him to all but give up now. He needs to bring his team to the Centre, he can’t not try taking his revenge on the new Champion, he can’t not at least prove his superior battle skills to Raihan yet again, he just can’t leave Hop, and Sonia, and everyone else like that…

So he rises up once again, on weak arms and unsteady legs, almost tripping over himself, shoulder stuck against the wall. He won’t let this be the end of him.

 Even with a new resolve, it still doesn’t make it much better for him. Unless there’s a miracle happening right before him, he’s stuck with his heavily weakened state trying to find a place whose location he has no idea. His phone doesn’t seem to be able to show a map, its signal disturbed after whatever happened to it while he was looking or doing the polar opposite, so he’s stuck with his truly inefficient sense of orientation.

But it’ll be okay. It’ll have to be okay, because he needs to see Hop become a Professor, to buy Sonia’s new book, to rematch the Champion and his Leader friends, to give his team at least one more chance to shine. It’ll be okay, surely it’ll be okay, of course it’ll be okay… It’ll be okay, because this is all a terrible nightmare he’s going to wake up from, where he isn’t stuck in the torrential rain with a fainted party and very little hope of finding way out.

It’ll be okay, oh so okay…

 He tumbles and falls over again, this time hitting the ground with no grace whatsoever, most likely scratching elbows and knees in the process. Even rising his head up as not to cough in water when a fit claws at his throat again takes most of the energy he has left, only for his blurry sight and cottoned-down hearing to spot the first good thing in who knows many hours: a familiar yelp and vague brown-and-yellow figure rushing towards him.

With a trembling and feeble hand, he tries reaching out to the Yamper who has guided him so many times out of dangerous situations, only for an oh so familiar voice to yell in his direction. Still, it’s hard to know if it’s real or just his imagination. Ah, well; he’ll have to see when he’ll have woken up. If he even wakes up from the darkness starting to invade his vision…

  “Yamper, where in the world are you running like that?!” This creature never stops running, doesn’t it? “Yamper, wait for me!”

If she’s used to her trusty furry assistant running around everywhere it goes and pursuing it, Sonia has to notice there’s something odd in the air. Yamper never goes this fast, especially not in a city where it could smash muzzle first into people. There’s an urgent feeling to its yelps as it runs in one precise direction.

 As suddenly as Yamper started running when she had just gone out of the vault to investigate a little bit more into the Galar mythos she had become a specialist of, it stops right in its tracks in a little street she’s frankly never seen nor noticed before. With how much it’s raining and how unlikely it is to stop pouring soon, she doesn’t want the both of them out for much longer than needed.

She stops to regain her breath, hands on her knees as she folds in two, wet red hair hanging from her head. Yamper stays in place, running around her in circles, then disappearing from her view into the old, little street covered in rain and shadows. It doesn’t seem to have any intent on leaving soon.

 --------

“Why did you… bring me here…? Seriously, it’s raining Growlithes and Purrloins…!”

Still, Sonia gets herself together and goes on to follow her “assistant”. There’s dread building in her chest and stomach that she can hardly ignore… She’s seen enough movies as a teenager to know where this is going. She’s going to end up tangled into some messed-up situation, isn’t she…?

 Her heart skips a beat when she notices a very familiar person lying face down on the pavement, drenched to the bone. A person who hasn’t given her any response or sign of life for a few days.

Someone who’s gotten lost in Hammerlocke again.

 -------

 When he wakes up, everything feels different than the last time he’s been awake. It’s all white, dry and soft. He stills feels too hot and too cold, breathing remains a chore and he wishes he wasn’t there anyway; but he supposes he’s now safe and, honestly, he can’t think of anything much worse than treading through the torrential rain with little strength left.

Now, if he knew what the thing on his face was, he’d be doing a bit better, but his arms feel like they’re made out of lead and he lacks the energy to rise them to his mouth and at least touch it…

 “Leon?”

The voice, even if it’s muffled, is undoubtedly Sonia’s. He can’t quite put a finger on why exactly, yet he feels like this confirms something. If his chest didn’t feel so heavy and full, he’d have sighed in relief. That doesn’t prevent him from coughing again when trying to respond to his own name.

“Let me do the talking, okay? I’m sure you have a metric ton of questions to ask, but for the love of Galar, spare your voice unless necessary.”

 Now that his vision is focusing again, he notices both the pipe inserted in his wrist and the frown on her face. She seems less than content with something. What, he doesn’t quite know, and thinking hurts his head even further than it already bothers him, heavy on his neck despite resting on a pillow. Speaking of which, where is his stuff? His clothes?

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sonia rises from her chair and puts her hands on his chest, putting him back into his mattress. “You stay here and don’t cause anyone any worry more than you’ve already done!”

 He’s confused as to why she’s so adamant on him not doing anything. No speaking, no moving… If he didn’t feel this drained and lethargic, he’d absolutely get back at her with playfulness. Well, that does kind of answer his own question, doesn’t it? Or, at least, it seems to make sense to his brain which has troubles keeping up with the situation…

Yet, he sees a small smirk contrast with her frowned eyebrows. She seems… pained. Pained by what, or who, he doesn’t know; he’s most likely at least partially responsible for it, because she wouldn’t be there otherwise.

 “I don’t know how you’ve ended up in that situation exactly, Leon, but you’ve managed to surpass yourself in terms of putting yourself in harm’s way. You’ve scared us before, but not to that extent!”

“I…” His voice sounds hoarse and it absolutely feels that way. “It’s complicated…”

“Your entire party was fainted, safe for Charizard who was about to follow; you somehow bricked your phone in the process and ended up catching more than a death of cold. Where were you during all that time?!”

Sonia sounds a bit too scared for someone who’s facing her childhood friend stuck in a bed.

“The Wild Area…”

“That’d explain why you were soaked to the bone when I found you lying in a puddle��� You’ll have to excuse me for using that crude language, you scared everyone on that one!”

 It’s his turn to ask a little question, even if the state of his body makes him want to remain quiet. Still, no matter how intelligent she is, Sonia doesn’t read minds, so he’s somewhat forced to go through with it if he wants his answers.

“Where are we?”

“A clinic in Hammerlocke. I forgot to add you also scared the ER staff with how bad your breathing was.” Has to be that irritating wheezing sound he’s hearing since he’s woken up. “By the way, since I know you’re going to ask me about that, your team is safe and doing much better now. They’re all gently resting in their balls while you recover.”

He misses Charizard and everyone else already. He owes them a big apology, that’s for sure, but he’s also certain his brain can’t process much right now. Sometimes, you just need to admit yourself to have been defeated… even if it bothers you to no end.

 Sonia paces around for a little bit before sitting down on the chair next to the bed, arms still crossed. She sounds more than frustrated, and, well… He can’t really hold it against her, can he? He already can barely hold anything against her to begin with, considering how much they’ve lived through together; it’s not today, in these circumstances, that he’ll try finding a reason for her not to be frustrated. Who knows how long he’s been gone without giving news: he frankly, forgot how quickly or slowly time was passing while he was wandering through the Wild Area.

“At least, you’re still here and breathing with us. Just, if you could not do that ever again, it’d be better, you know? I can’t always be there worrying after you when I’m now a Prof! Arceus, I don’t even imagine what sequence of events has thrown you into such a state. You looked absolutely pitiful when Yamper found you.”

 He tries to puff at himself to ease the tension he feels rising, but all he ends up doing is coughing. And coughing. And coughing.

“What did I say about sparing your voice? Tch, you’ll never change, will you? You’ve always stubborn, after all, so there’s no reason that’ll change now. That’s part of your charm, I suppose.” She shrugs before suddenly darting her eyes away from him. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t have to worry! You were the Champion of Galar for more than ten years, why would I be afraid of you? That makes very little sense, haha!”

“S-Sonia…”

 He only now spots the dark rings under her eyes and the hair pulling out of her ponytail, one strand at a time. How long was he out for, and for how much of that time was she there, exactly? (Hey, he does work fairly well, for someone who can’t stop sweating and whose entire frame is shaken up by chills at irregular intervals!). Too many questions, too little available brain space, he guesses…

“Go for it, make fun of your good old friend who still hasn’t gotten the memo. I should have been like Hop and blindly believed you’d come back to us, as you’ve always done…”

Oh, right, Hop! How is he doing, has he advanced in his research, does he still worry for him? Well, sadly, it’s not the time to think about his brother: his childhood friend seems to have a meltdown right in front of him.

“Why?”

 Sonia stares at him, completely silent, eyes wide. Seems like she doesn’t have an answer to her own interrogation, until pain comes back on her face like the wave crashing on the shore.

“You don’t… think it’s ridiculous?”

“What?” His throat doesn’t take kindly to his attempts at having a conversation.

“Everything! We swore we’d trust each other, but look at me, worrying over you as if we were still kids running in the fields with the Wooloos… And I’m telling you all that while you’re cooking on the inside! Really, isn’t that ridiculous?”

 Gathering his breath and his strength, he rises up with shaky arms against the bedhead, pillow still preventing his head from entirely lulling over his shoulder from how heavy it is. Whatever he’s caught, it’s one hell of an affliction he’s found himself with. Still, if it’s for Sonia, if she’s this distraught over the situation (he did almost pass away), he can put up with the migraine, the difficult breathing, the mask over his mouth, the lethargy, the chills…

“I’m sorry, Sonia.”

He does cough immediately after apologizing, as expected. For once, she doesn’t reply immediately, doesn’t make a witty remark; instead, she looks confused and maybe embarrassed, considering the red he can see with the eyes that still refuse to entirely focus for more than a few seconds.

“Sorry for what? And, again, spare your voice, you…”

“For all of this.”

 Her expression softens, eyebrows drooping and eyes shining brighter. Even if it’s slight and his eyes almost miss it, she finally smiles.

“How long…?” He’s interrupted by a fit.

“How long you’ve been out?” He nods, still trying to calm his chest down. “Around half a day. You did wake up at some point but immediately passed out again. No wonder why you don’t remember that.”

He now points at her with an unsteady finger. “Why are you… Oh, how long I’ve been here?” He nods again. “Most of that time, I’d say. I’d also say I fell asleep at some point too…”

 She crosses her arms again, just as his vision starts weakening again. It’s back to sleep, right?

“I think we both need our rest. I’m also certain Hop is waiting at the door, so you’ll even have a guardian angel watching over you, isn’t that super cool? And if you attempt rising from that bed, you’re sure to be put back into it in mere seconds!”

He’d try laughing if it didn’t trigger such a massive reaction from his lungs, so he decides to just nod instead.

“See you later, Leon. Goodnight.”

He waves at her, the lethargy still reflecting in his slow and sloppy gestures, but that’s fine enough for now. Her smile is worth it, isn’t it?

 Absolutely worth trekking through the rain with full lungs and little energy left…

[nicolewrites]

coming home - iii

I really cannot extend my thanks enough to @mishspelled, @shining-jul-of-hope​, and @tsunnychan​ for all their support while I wrote this project.

And to the rest of the Sylvgrid discord putting up with me starting a comical chain of events based off of a pool noodle and for providing me feedback and encouragement to put this piece out there.

Rating: T+ Genre: Angst, Friendship, Romance Characters: [Sylvain Jose Gautier & Ingrid Brandl Galatea] Words: 9,324

Sylvain looked up at the statue of Seiros at the centre of the Cathedral. She was missing her head. He looked at the figure standing before the statue, shoulders hunched and eyes solidly on the ground.

The army was missing their head too. / three - how it ends

AO3

three - fire and life

There was moonlight in the Cathedral. Shattered stained glass meant that the Cathedral was open to the elements. Plants curled around pews and at the bases of statues. Rubble decorated holy chambers and crushed wood and stone alike.

Sylvain looked up at the statue of Seiros at the centre of the Cathedral. She was missing her head. He looked at the figure standing before the statue, shoulders hunched and eyes solidly on the ground.

The army was missing their head too.

Sylvain sat in one of the pews close to the back of the Cathedral and just watched Dimitri. The prince’s tall frame was practically dwarfed by his massive cloak, the blood and dirt on which matted the fur.

The cloak was familiar to Sylvain, as was the armour Dimitri wore. They were the former garments of the late king, Dimitri’s father, Lambert. Dimitri didn’t look like a king though. Not in the way that Sylvain remembered Lambert standing. Dimitri looked like a beast, though Sylvain would never dare utter that phrase in front of Felix.

The Cathedral doors groaned when they opened. Sylvain tilted his head, tearing his eyes from the prince, to see who had entered. It was the Professor. She seemed unsurprised to see Dimitri where he was, but one of her eyebrows ticked up when she saw him.

Sylvain stood, brushing his palms off on his trousers. He knew a conversation he wasn’t meant for when he saw one. He brushed past the Professor wordlessly. She ghosted a hand against his arm as he left, but she didn’t stop him. It was a dismissal, but at least she was thankful to him.

Sylvain stood outside the main doors to the Cathedral and studied the crumbling stonework around him. “Fall to ruin, tear to bone,” he muttered. “War changes more than people.”

-

He was in the stable when the news arrived. He had a hand through the hutch of a wyvern as he stroked the beast’s scales. It had been a long time since he had seen a wyvern and an even longer time since he had flown. The practice was much more common in the east, the closer one got to Almyra.

Sylvain could still remember Hilda complaining about wyverns when they trained together, doing flying patrols. Sylvain humoured her, listening to her, but he never agreed with her. A lance and horse was the way that a good Kingdom noble ought to have fought. An axe and a wyvern was a way that would have earned him chastisement. He knew what he preferred.

Felix never understood that. He liked to be solidly on the ground, sword in hand, as he cut down his enemies. Sylvain liked the easy escape route. On horseback, your movement was limited by the terrain. In the sky, you could fly a hundred feet up and be dangerously close to a lethal falling height should a breeze hit you wrong. It was freeing.

The wyvern he was stroking seemed happy to bask in the attention he was giving it and Sylvain almost didn’t hear Ashe coming. The younger man’s foot skidded on the sand-covered stone, and Sylvain turned.

Ashe looked worried and Sylvain withdrew his hand from the wyvern’s hutch. “Ashe?”

“Imperial troops are on the way here. The Professor has called a meeting.”

Sylvain straightened. Right. There was a war going on, after all, and it was unlikely that the Emperor would sit idly as her hated enemies took back a central location.

“Let me get my lance,” Sylvain said to Ashe.

Ashe nodded and turned to leave. He paused at the edge of the stables and looked back. “It’s good to see you again, Sylvain.”

Sylvain smiled faintly at Ashe’s earnestness. He may have grown up a lot in the five years since they’d last seen each other, but at least he hadn’t completely changed. “You too.”

-

The Professor told him to cover Ingrid in the sky and directed them both to mount up to fly. Ingrid didn’t hesitate, nodding curtly and heading to don her armour and retrieve her Relic. Sylvain hesitated, furrowing his brow at the Professor.

“I’m a certified Paladin,” he reminded her.

She shook her head, keeping her eyes on the map of the area around the monastery in front of her. “I need you to cover her. We don’t have battalions yet.” She looked up. “Keep her safe, Sylvain.”

That was the only order he needed. He nodded and straightened. “I will.”

-

After they sent the Imperials packing, some merchants began to return. Businesses opened up and trade tentatively began to resume. The Knights of Seiros returned, Seteth and Flayn amidst them, and many other Blue Lions and transfer students had come back as well.

Specifically, he had seen Dorothea and Petra from the Empire and Leonie, Marianne, and Ignatz from the Alliance.

Sylvain drank from the tankard in front of him. He spun it back on its rim and stared at the tarnished surface of it. After the debacle that had taken place in the Cardinal’s Room today, he had just wanted to get away for a bit. Thankfully, the bar just outside the monastery was getting back into its swing, providing drinks to the limited Knights and soldiers that had returned.

He could still hear Dimitri’s voice growling through the room as he made a point of mistrusting the former transfer students. Sylvain had almost expected soft, sweet Marianne to cry, but she had just looked at him with pity. Annette had almost cried though, which of course made Felix angry enough to shout.

Dimitri had lashed out, as expected, and set a brutal course for Enbarr.

Sylvain drained his mug and winced at the headache that pounded behind his temples. He signalled for the barkeep to refill him. The man swept away the coins that Sylvain placed down and replaced the mug in front of him.

Sylvain chugged a third of the drink as soon as he could. There was a woman in the corner of the bar that was eyeing him like she was going to devour him. Once, he might have carried his drink to her and given her a charming smile before leading her to bed, but now he was tired. He drank from his mug until it was empty.

He pushed off the barstool and managed to make his way back to the outskirts of the monastery without staggering too much. He skirted outside the building, heading around by the fishing pond to reach the stairs to the second level of what used to be the dorms.

He paused when he rounded the corner. Mercedes was sitting on the pier with a basin of water, scrubbing at what looked like dishes. He considered trying to go around her, but there was something jerky and harsh about her actions that didn’t seem very Mercedes-like. He approached her instead.

She didn’t look up when he approached, but her hands paused in their aggressive scrubbing. “Sylvain,” she said quietly.

He sat down next to her. “May I?”

She looked up. Her eyes looked sad and a bit confused. She hesitated for a moment before disappointment flickered over her face. “You’re drunk.”

Sylvain felt immediately guilty. “Not drunk enough to leave you here by yourself.”

She slid the basin towards him and Sylvain picked up the cloth she had been working with and resumed her work. Mercedes leaned away from him to rinse her hands in the fishing pond. A few loose food scraps drifted off her fingers, including a few noodles from the dry, ration meals they had been consuming.

He worked at the dishes until they were clean and then he studied Mercedes. She was sitting, staring over the pond at the greenhouse with a troubled expression.

“Mercedes,” he said lightly.

She turned back to him and smiled weakly. “When Annie told me that she wanted to go back for the anniversary, I almost didn’t go with her.”

Sylvain frowned. “Didn’t see the point?”

“I was in Fhirdiad during Dimitri’s execution,” she said bluntly, putting air quotations up as she exaggerated execution. She shook her head, looking pained. “I could live the rest of my life without seeing that kind of violence and disaster again.”

Sylvain’s thoughts came to a grinding halt. “Did you see him before he got out of the city?”

She shook her head. “I never saw Dimitri, but,” she hesitated and Sylvain’s brain kicked back into gear just quickly enough to catch where she was going.

“Dedue.”

She closed her eyes. “He told me what he was planning before they went through with it. I wanted to go with them to help, in case they needed a healer, but he promised that they had it handled. The men of Duscur believed in him.” A faint smile tilted her lips upward. “He looked like he belonged with them.”

“Mercedes,” he began.

She stood up suddenly, brushing her hands off on the front of her dress. She adjusted her short hair and smiled tightly at him. “Thank you for your help, Sylvain, but I’ll be fine.”

She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her elbow as gently as he could. “Five years ago, you never would have let me walk away from you like this. Please let me do the same for you.”

She gently removed his hand. “Sylvain, you have your own burdens. You don’t need to shoulder mine and everyone else’s on top of that.”

She left him there, on the pier, half-drunk and feeling incredibly cold.

-

The clang of metal on metal told Sylvain that he had guessed correctly on his search. He could hear the exertion of the training regiment before he even had the door open and when he pushed it open, Felix’s grunts joined the sound of his weapon beating up a target.

Sylvain stood in the entrance of the training hall and just watched his friend for a moment. Felix was a marvel to watch when he trained: light on his feet and quick enough with his blade that you might not even see it coming. Felix was currently working with a dulled iron sword, but Sylvain spotted his Wo Dao in a sheath nearby. His Relic, Aegis, and the sword that his father had entrusted to him at Ailell were also nearby, but Felix seemed completely focused on his target.

Finally, Sylvain cleared his throat. Felix’s blade slowed and he turned to look at his friend. Felix’s eyes were blazing and Sylvain didn’t know if it was anger, irritation, or frustration. The tip of Felix’s sword dipped towards the floor and his body posture relaxed a little when he saw that it was only Sylvain.

“What do you want?”

“To spar,” Sylvain replied. He strode over to the training weapons rack.

Years of instinct and fighting against both sword-wielding Fraldarius brothers had him instinctively reaching for a lance. At the last minute, he changed his mind and grabbed one of the dull training axes. Felix assessed him, scowling.

“Take the lance,” he suggested instead.

Sylvain turned back to face him, grinning. “Nah.”

Felix’s scowl deepened. “Sylvain,” he growled.

Sylvain didn’t let him get any further, hefting the axe and charging. Felix parried his blow easily, shifting his weight to knock Sylvain forward, past him. The flat of his blade smacked Sylvain between the shoulder blades.

“Don’t be stupid,” Felix grumbled.

Sylvain turned and threw a handful of sand in Felix’s face. He followed it up with a heavy swing of his axe that caught and pinned Felix’s blade. Felix cursed at the sand, but he rotated his sword and slid it free from the pin. He slashed at Sylvain’s hands and Sylvain was forced to retreat back a few steps to dodge the strike.

“Are you asking me to kick your ass now?”

Sylvain grinned and draped the axe over one of his shoulders casually. “I’m asking you to give me a challenge.”

His words lowered the last of Felix’s guard, and the Fraldarius heir flew at him with no further reservations. Sylvain barely managed to block the first strike, but Felix’s blade moved in a burst of short, vicious swings. He recognized this move as one that Catherine used to make 5 years back, but he didn’t know that Felix had mastered it as well. He took the next four blows on his ribs, arms, legs, and stomach.

Felix knocked him back and Sylvain swung back, jabbing straight with the head of the axe and twisting it mid-strike so that it caught on the hilt of the sword. Using his strength, Sylvain yanked hard on the axe and managed to overpower Felix, jerking the weapon out of his hand. He was about to gloat when something hit him around the middle, tackling him to the ground.

Felix’s legs easily pinned the lower half of his body to the ground and his fist slammed into Sylvain’s face right as he remembered that Felix was also brutally proficient in brawling.

“Stop!” a shrill voice cried.

Felix froze, his hand pulled back like he was about to strike Sylvain again. He immediately jumped up, leaving Sylvain lying flat on his back on the training ground floor like a fool. Sylvain lolled his head to the side to look around his friend and he saw a horrified Annette standing at the entrance to the training hall. Ingrid was beside her, but her expression was drawn and hard to read, unlike the easy dismay on Annette’s face.

Felix stormed over to the training rack and shelved his sword and Sylvain’s axe. He retrieved his other swords and his Relic and brushed past Annette out of the training hall. The mage didn’t hesitate before following him, but Ingrid stayed, staring at Sylvain as he sat up, but didn’t stand.

“Were you trying to goad him into beating the shit out of you? That’s what it looked like he was about to do,” Ingrid demanded, irritation finally taking over her expression.

Sylvain rubbed his jaw. It was definitely going to bruise. He stayed sitting on the ground and shrugged. “He needs to be in top form. I was trying to snap him out of whatever funk he has sunk into since his father got here.”

Ingrid sighed and walked over to him, offering him a hand up. Sylvain took it and let her pull him up. Once he was standing, she pursed her lips. “You’re both still hurt from Ailell. You shouldn’t be fighting each other and you, especially, should know better to challenge Felix without a weapon.”

Sylvain laughed. “To be fair, we did both have weapons at the start. I quite handily managed to disarm him.”

Ingrid’s gaze flickered over to the weapons rack where she had watched Felix put away a sword and an axe. “Don’t shut me out, Sylvain,” she said quietly.

He blinked. “What?”

Ingrid looked back at him, her eyes darker than they had been a moment before. “Don’t shut down. Don’t back yourself into this corner and leave yourself no escape.” Her gaze darted to his jaw which was probably already bruising. “You should get that looked at.”

She started to walk away from him and Sylvain’s hand flashed out, grabbing her arm. She paused and looked back at him. Sylvain dropped his hand like he had been burned and closed his eyes.

“Felix isn’t doing well,” he mumbled.

Ingrid nodded. “I know. His father being here and talking about Dimitri has thrown him from his rhythm.”

Sylvain didn’t mention that he thought Felix’s rhythm had been off for a lot longer than just since his father’s arrival. He had been twitchy and quick to the punch his whole life, but since the war began, Sylvain had seen a whole new side of his friend.

“Dimitri,” Sylvain mumbled. “What are we doing, Ing? There’s no way he’s sane enough to lead us anywhere but on a suicide mission.”

Her shoulders wilted, her ever-present impassive strength fading for a moment. “He’s the Kingdom’s last chance, Sylvain.”

“Is he? Or is he just a man who’s on a crazed quest for revenge. We’re an army with a ghost for a leader, Ingrid. We aren’t going to get very far on his brute strength alone.”

Ingrid’s gaze sharpened. “He’s still your King, Sylvain.”

His anger deflated. “I know,” he mumbled. “It’s just hard to see him self-destructing this way.”

Ingrid studied his face and paused. “Try being in my shoes,” she said. “You and Dimitri and Felix are more alike than you want to believe.”

-

Sylvain lingered in the Cardinal’s Room after the war meeting concluded. He didn’t mean to, he just got caught up studying the map and didn’t notice everyone else had already departed until the Professor called his name.

“Sylvain?”

His head snapped up. “Oh,” he glanced around, “sorry, Professor, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Wait,” she said. Her brows were knit and she smoothed her hands over the map. “Did you see something?”

Sylvain glanced back at the map. “I like the idea of engaging Gloucester forces through House Riegan, but I can’t help but wonder about Lorenz. As much as he and Claude fought during the time we were at the Officer’s Academy, I can’t help but think that he might see through this. Claude is shrewd, yes, but he and Lorenz did know each other pretty well.”

The Professor considered his words. “That’s a good point.” She reached out and swapped her battalion with Annette’s, putting the mages in the heart of the formation. “That should cover us should they get reinforcements from the Gloucester side of the bridge.” She looked back up at him. “Anything else?”

Sylvain considered the map again. He was set to lead a wyvern battalion to back up Petra as she cleared a path on the ground with a group of assassins. It was a good formation, but it hadn’t been one he was expecting. “You keep deploying me as a wyvern rider,” he pointed out. “Arguably, I would be better on horseback.”

She smiled at him. “I’ve seen you in the sky, Sylvain. You may not have Petra or Ingrid’s natural aptitude for it, but it suits you. If Ingrid and Seteth are our only fliers, we’ll get into trouble in places with narrow ground placements. Flying will give you the freedom to get where you need to be, to push objectives that only you can.”

Sylvain blinked. He hadn’t realized that the Professor had so easily picked up on his skill in the sky. It had taken work to get used to, but he did enjoy it. He stared at the pieces on the map again and noted that the Dimitri was set to be deployed on the north side, near the Professor.

“Are we making the right choice in taking the bridge?” he asked next.

The Professor’s brow sets into a line. She didn’t look angry, just thoughtful. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Dimitri is set on a course for Enbarr, however, so we should see to it that he is protected on that path. Of course,” she reached for Dimitri’s marker and lifted it up, “he’s not going alone.” She made eye contact with Sylvain. “I will keep as many of you safe as I can. We will end this war, and we will do it with minimal losses. I promise you that.”

Sylvain trusted her. He always had, but her words rang heavy and true. She believed that they would take the Great Bridge of Myrddin and he believed her. Dimitri was almost certainly insane, but Byleth was not.

The army may have lacked a head, but it certainly did not lack its heart.

-

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you’re here, Gautier, should I?” Lorenz said as he approached.

Sylvain withdrew his hand from the wyvern hutch and turned to the Gloucester Noble. “You shouldn’t be,” Sylvain agreed coolly.

Lorenz walked by him to the stall where his horse was, whistling for its attention as he approached. Mildly curious, Sylvain followed him. Lorenz brushed a hand along the nose of his horse, patting it reassuringly.

“I am grateful to the Professor for sparing me,” Lorenz said quietly once he noticed that Sylvain had followed him. “I do wish that there could have been more done for Ferdinand though.”

Sylvain frowned. Ferdinand and he had not been particularly close at the Officer’s Academy, but he knew that Ferdinand had been similar to him in a few ways: they both had a natural love of horses and a preference for good tea. Of course, those things were what had made Ferdinand and Lorenz become friends.

“I understand why there wasn’t,” Lorenz continued at Sylvain’s silence. His voice faltered and he returned to stroking his steed, obviously trying to gather himself. “Even so, he was my friend. I don’t think he deserved that.”

Sylvain recalled the horrible sound of Ferdinand’s armour crumpling and his steed crying out as Dimitri cut them down without flinching. “No,” he agreed, feeling mildly sick to his stomach. “He didn’t.”

“You all are content to be led by a mad prince then? I noticed that his Duscur companion reappeared during the fight as well.”

Sylvain grabbed Lorenz by his collar and pinned him to the stable wall in a flash of anger. “Do not,” he growled, “mistake the fact that you and I have some twisted friendship for loyalty or an obligation to tolerate the things you say about my friend, Lorenz.”

Lorenz raised his hands calmly. “Point taken."

Sylvain released him and stepped away. Lorenz’s eyes darted over his shoulder and Sylvain turned, following his gaze. Marianne stood at the entrance of the stable, holding an armful of tack and staring straight at Sylvain and Lorenz with her lips parted in surprise.

Lorenz straightened his armour and walked towards Marianne. “How can I help you, Marianne?”

Sylvain watched as Marianne carefully unloaded some of her equipment to Lorenz who swiftly carried it to the appropriate storage bin. Marianne walked towards Sylvain, her chin dropping a little as she approached. Sylvain stepped away from the stall he was leaning against, recognizing it as Dorte’s stall.

“Are you alright, Marianne?” Sylvain asked quietly, his eyes darting towards Lorenz who was well-distracted organizing the gear given to him by Marianne.

Marianne lifted her eyes and the edges of her lips curled up a little bit. “I’m alright,” she said softly. Her gaze darted to Lorenz and sadness tinged her expression. “Ferdinand was so kind to me when we were at school, but,” she paused, struggling, “so was Dimitri.”

Sylvain exhaled slowly and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Marianne, I didn’t realize.”

She reached up to brush the side of Dorte’s neck. She smiled sadly. “Well, we’ll just have to make it count then, right? Fulfill the purpose.”

Sylvain touched one of Dorte’s ears and the horse twitched it happily, relishing in the attention. “You’ll be okay if I leave you with Lorenz?”

Marianne giggled lightly. “Yes, Sylvain, we’ll be okay.” She gazed at Lorenz again with something almost curious in her gaze. “He has always been kind to me.”

Sylvain patted Dorte’s neck one more time before he walked away. He headed down towards the front of the monastery, just letting his feet guide him, and he ended up walking towards the fishing pond. When he rounded the southern corner of the monastery, he paused mid-stride, seeing something he hadn’t quite expected.

Dorothea was sitting on the end of the dock, much like they had years ago after the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Sylvain looked around quickly: no one else seemed to be there, probably giving Dorothea her space. He approached her, making sure that he kicked at least two boards as he walked down the dock so he didn’t startle her.

He knelt next to her. “Mind if I sit? For old times sake?”

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think you announced your presence well enough.”

“Didn’t want to startle you,” he said honestly, shifting so that he was sitting next to her.

Dorothea twisted her hands in her lap and Sylvain just sat quietly, waiting for her to say something if she wanted to. “Ferdie,” she said after a pause, “we killed him. Just like that.”

Her hands shook and Sylvain lifted one of his own to cover hers. “Hey,” he said gently, “you had nothing to do with that.”

She shook her head and her eyes fluttered closed. “I chose to be here, you know. Edie asked all of us to join her. Petra and I, we couldn’t commit to that. Ferdie tried to talk me into coming with him, but I knew where I wanted to be for the reunion.”

Sylvain squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you’re here,” he offered. It felt lame, but Dorothea opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Don’t go flirting with me, Gautier,” she said and then leaned her head on his shoulder.

Sylvain laughed lightly. “I’d offer you a warm bed if we both didn’t know that would be the absolute worst idea.”

She scoffed. “Proposition me again and you’ll end up at the bottom of this pool.”

Sylvain chuckled. “Don’t worry, we won’t go there again.”

Dorothea turned her hand over in his so that she was holding his hand properly. Her thumb traced over a scar on the back of it. “Did you see a healer about your leg yet?”

Dorothea had given him some emergency white magic back on the Great Bridge, but it hadn’t been strong enough to keep him going for that long. Sylvain shrugged. “Annette gave me a touch of her magic, but there were more important people to look after.”

Dorothea tensed and lifted her head from his shoulder. She levelled a stern glare at him. “Sylvain, listen to me. You and I are very similar. So, take it from me when I say that you need to work on yourself.”

He tensed and frowned, but Dorothea ignored him.

“You walk around with this chip on your shoulder about the Crest system and you brush people off when they try to deal with it. You’re so set on being helpful to others that you refuse to let other people look after you every now and then. You don’t talk about yourself–not seriously, anyways–and you do things like jump recklessly in front of people in battle and refuse healing, even when you need it.”

He felt cowed. She had stripped him of all of his defences in a few short sentences and broken down his personality just as easily. “Thea,” he started, but she shook her head.

“You talk about women and sex and love like they’re the easiest things in the world, but I see right through you. You wouldn’t know what to do with a real emotion if you had one because you’re so used to beating them back with a stick or trampling them with a horse made of all of your insecurities. I know more than enough about insecurities, Sylvain, and I see yours. I’d pity any woman who actually fell in love with you because you wouldn’t know what to do with her.”

Sylvain recoiled away from her. “I don’t even know where to begin with that.” He felt nasty words itching on the tip of his tongue. He bit it, reflexively, so he wouldn’t spit them out.

Dorothea crossed her arms, her eyes softening. “Sorry, that was a bit harsh.”

Sylvain snorted, breaking into laughter before he could stop himself. “All true though,” he said in between laughs.

Dorothea bit her lip to try and hide her smile. “Sorry,” she apologized again.

Sylvain shrugged. “Like I said, not wrong.”

“For the record, Sylvain, with the way I’ve seen you acting more recently, I don’t think you’d be completely useless with real emotions. You have more empathy than you’re given credit for.”

He reclined back on his hands and looked up at the sky. “I’m sorry about Ferdinand. He didn’t deserve that.”

Dorothea’s head dipped. “No, but I guess that’s war, isn’t it? Your Kingdom has started this wildfire on your path to Enbarr and I guess now it’s burn or be burned.”

-

The sound that Felix had made when his father was stabbed was so haunting and terrifying. Sylvain knew he would never be able to unhear it. His friend had buckled, staring blankly across Gronder Field and Sylvain barely managed to catch the straps of Felix’s armour. Felix’s chest heaved against him, pain flashing across his face, but it was quickly replaced by rage.

“I’m going to kill him,” he growled.

“No,” Sylvain said firmly. “Felix, no.”

Felix thrashed in his arms and Sylvain almost lost his grip until another set of arms wrapped around Felix and assisted Sylvain in restraining him. Sylvain made eye contact with Ingrid and almost teared up himself at the pain on her face. She had tears rolling down her cheeks, but she didn’t say anything as they held Felix back.

Felix was crying, but he was still bubbling with rage. “Let me go,” he snarled.

“No,” Ingrid said, her voice wobbling. “You can’t.”

“Let me go, Ingrid.”

“No,” Sylvain agreed, “Felix, we’re not letting you go.”

His words seemed to steal the last of the fight out of Felix and his anger dissolved. He buckled in on himself, his forehead landing on Ingrid’s shoulder as his shoulders shook in his grief. Sylvain fell to his knees and pulled both Felix and Ingrid together until Ingrid’s head touched his arm as they wrapped Felix tightly between them.

A few stray raindrops fell from the sky. One landed on Sylvain’s cheek and he thought about all the horrible days that it had rained. It had poured on them on the return trip to the Monastery after they had taken out Lonato. It had rained when Jeralt Eisner died. He was even pretty sure it had rained the day of the Tragedy of Duscur. It had rained when his mother had died too.

Sylvain finally broke, letting out a strangled gasp. He leaned forward until his forehead touched Felix’s temple. Ingrid’s hand slid up his neck and tangled in the hair at the base of his skull.

-

Ingrid and Sylvain buried Rodrigue. Dimitri came back. Felix grieved.

It rained.

-

The day before they marched for Fhirdiad, Sylvain’s packing was interrupted by a knock on his door. He turned, closing his trunk, and stood. Ingrid was standing in his doorway, her hands behind her back.

He brushed his hands off on his pants. “Hey Ing,” he greeted. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She looked uncharacteristically shy for a moment. “Can I come in?”

Sylvain frowned and sat on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, of course.”

Ingrid closed the door behind her and Sylvain’s eyebrows shot up. She walked across his room and sat in his desk chair, turning it so that they were facing each other. She put her face in her hands and took in a deep breath.

“Ingrid?” he prompted gently.

“I spent this whole campaign hoping we’d get to take back Fhirdiad, but I never thought it would be like this.”

Sylvain reached out and touched her knee lightly. “I know,” he agreed. “I don’t know whether to be happy or sad."

Ingrid dropped her hands from her face so they landed over top of Sylvain’s hand. She searched his face with her earnest green eyes and Sylvain’s heart flipped stupidly in his chest. Her thumb traced a circle on the back of his hand and he had to force himself not to shiver.

“I don’t want to lose anyone else,” Ingrid said quietly. “We got Dimitri back, but I can’t lose anyone else, Sylvain.”

Sylvain turned his hand over so he was holding hers and he tugged on it gently. Ingrid let him pull her over to his bed and sat next to him, leaning against him. Sylvain wrapped his arms around her and hugged her as best he could while they sat side by side. He rested his chin atop her head and closed his eyes, relishing in her closeness.

“Stay close to me,” he urged. It wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, but it needed repeating.

She twisted in his grip, one of her hands reaching up to touch the junction of his neck and shoulder. He leant back so that he could look at her. Her hand turned so she was cupping his jaw and Sylvain’s breath caught in his chest.

He had been here before with countless women, but never with Ingrid. He had never dared initiate this with Ingrid because he couldn’t ruin her too. Ingrid was looking at him like she was trying to look through him and every horrible, self-ruinous part of Sylvain wanted to push her away. The tiny, guilty part of him that lived under layers of repressed grief wanted to kiss her.

He pressed his lips to her forehead instead and watched her cheeks flush and lips part in surprise.

“Don’t go far from me,” he pleaded again.

Ingrid buried her face in her chest. “And you from me,” she echoed, her voice muffled by his shirt.

Sylvain carded his fingers through her short blonde hair. “Do you want to stay?” he asked before his filter could catch up with him. She tensed momentarily and Sylvain cringed internally. “Just to sleep,” he assured quickly.

Ingrid’s fingers brushed over his ear as she fiddled with the ends of his hair. “Yes,” she murmured quietly. “I want to stay.”

-

They celebrated in Derdriu after they drove the Empire out. Claude had insisted on using the Riegan Manor for one last hurrah before he departed Fódlan and the Kingdom troops turned their sights on Enbarr.

Sylvain was content watching the party from the edge of the room, sipping his wine, until Hilda popped up next to him, smirking at him. She had forcibly taken his wineglass away, placed it down, and dragged him onto the dancefloor.

He indulged her, spinning her under one of his arms. “Hello, Hilda.”

“Hello, Sylvain,” she teased back, stepping on his toe with enough grace that it had to have been intentional.

He led her, stepping towards her and she stepped back. “Didn’t want to steal a dance with the soon-to-be king?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know Dimitri that well. You, on the other hand,” she trailed off, her eyes glinting.

Sylvain nodded. “Point taken.”

“You and Claude are a lot alike,” Hilda said breezily as she bumped their knees together.

Sylvain’s gaze flitted across the room to the newly-former Alliance leader. He had somehow convinced Ingrid to dance with him and jealousy coiled in Sylvain's stomach. He tore his eyes from the pair and looked back at his own dance partner.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied coolly.

Hilda rolled her eyes. “Yes, you do.” She inclined her chin. “You hide behind half-truths and easy smiles and expect everyone to take that at face value.” Her grip on his hand tightened until it was almost uncomfortable. “It’s the coward’s coping mechanism.”

Sylvain couldn’t really dispute her argument. “Maybe so,” he conceded.

The music came to a halt and the dance was concluded. Hilda dropped his hands and gave him a sweet smile. “Lovely to see you as always,” she said before she strode away, her long hair swinging behind her.

Sylvain watched her go for a minute until footsteps approached him from behind.

“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Claude said cheerfully.

Sylvain turned and found Claude standing right behind him, grinning. Sylvain shifted towards the edge of the dance floor and Claude followed him.

“Devious is a word for it,” Sylvain offered.

Claude laughed. “Definitely. I like to think I rubbed off on her after all these years.”

Sylvain leaned against the wall and let his eyes skim over the crowd of soldiers, Alliance and Kingdom, mingling and celebrating a victory. “Why did you suggest a party?” Sylvain asked suddenly. “Technically, our best option would have been to march right back to the Great Bridge to maintain our momentum.”

Claude smirked. “I knew there was a reason she kept you around. And, well, I think some of you needed this.” His gaze darted noticeably to where Dimitri was chatting with Byleth and Judith in one corner of the room. “I don’t know everything that happened between him and El or what happened when he was young, but I know that no good would have come to your side if you had kept your march going and he had driven himself into the ground.”

Sylvain studied Dimitri. He was holding himself with all the courtly poise he had demonstrated as a young prince, but there was an edge of weariness about his stance too. “So you’re giving Dimitri a break,” he said.

Claude shrugged. “And Teach. She’s not unstoppable.” Claude turned back to him. “I never put much stock in Crests or statuses. I’m sorry about your family, Sylvain, and I’m sorry for what these systems did to them.”

Sylvain tensed and narrowed his eyes. “What do you know about my family?”

Claude’s lips twitched. “Not a lot,” he said cryptically. “Only that you shouldn’t bear that burden alone forever.”

He turned his head and Sylvain followed his gaze to where Ingrid was chatting with Annette, smiling widely. Sylvain’s frown loosened as he watched her. She seemed lighter here, in Derdriu, than she had been since Glenn died. It was a combination of retaking the capital, reuniting with old friends, and having a chance to relax a little that seemed to have lessened the weight that she carried on her shoulders.

With a start, Sylvain realized that he felt lighter too. Somehow the oppressive self-hatred he had been carrying with him since he was a child had lifted, just a bit.

He looked back at Claude, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t get you.”

Claude smirked again and patted his shoulder. “That’s kind of the point.”

-

“Sylvain,” Dimitri said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Sylvain startled out of his reverie and turned to face his friend, plastering a smile on his face. “Your Majesty.”

Dimitri shifted at the title. “I am not king yet,” he said uncertainly.

Sylvain shrugged, dislodging Dimitri’s hand. “You will be,” he assured. His gaze darted back to Merceus where it stood ahead of them.

They had pitched camp close enough that they could comfortably march on the fort the next day, but also have a place to return to should the fort not be a satisfactory place to house their troops for the time being. Red banners waved in the wind on the drum towers at the corners of the walls surrounding the fort.

“Tomorrow they’ll be flying blue,” Sylvain said firmly.

Dimitri crossed his arms. “You really think so? I was not sure that the head-on assault was the best plan after all.”

Sylvain clapped his own hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. “It’s our only option: you heard Gilbert and the Professor.”

Dimitri sighed. “I suppose.” He looked back at the camp behind him and Sylvain picked up on the fear in his body language. “I don’t want to create more unnecessary risk for any of you.” He dropped his head, hanging it in shame. “I know you already followed me beyond where I could ever ask you to and you’ve seen me as no one ever should.”

Sylvain tightened his grip on Dimitri’s shoulder. “Dimitri,” he said firmly, “we would not have followed you here if we did not believe in what we were fighting for. We never stopped believing you’d come back to us.”

Dimitri touched Sylvain’s hand. “That’s probably not true,” he pointed out. “But, Sylvain, I thank you. For helping Felix and for helping Byleth and for your father stepping into Rodrigue’s shoes.”

Sylvain’s expression tightened at the mention of his father, but he nodded. “Just,” he paused, “don’t let it go to waste. Make it worth it.”

Dimitri nodded, pride blazing in his good eye. “I intend to.”

Sylvain nodded and withdrew his hand. “It’s nice for us to have a head again,” he said before he turned and walked back towards the camp.

-

His wyvern was dead. His ribs were on fire and he was pretty sure his leg was broken. His battalion was scattered and hurt and Sylvain was outnumbered.

He shifted more weight onto his good leg and tightened his grip on the Lance of Ruin and grinned sharply at his opponents. “Long time no see,” he said stiffly.

“I guess so,” Caspar called back, grinning. He hefted his own axe. “Too bad you’re dying here.”

The scrapes and gashes he had inflicted on Caspar had all been healed up, courtesy of Linhardt, who stood just behind his friend, his expression stony. Linhardt had also been the one to bring Sylvain down with a well-placed Excalibur, a spell Annette had shown Sylvain once while demonstrating its devastating effect on fliers.

“I’m not dead yet,” Sylvain replied.

Caspar charged. Sylvain barely caught the first blow on the shaft of his lance, deflecting it to the side. He almost collapsed immediately, having to shift weight onto his bad leg. He jabbed with the Lance of Ruin, but Caspar neatly blocked with the head of his axe, before using the block’s momentum to catch Sylvain in the arm. Caspar raised his axe to swing down again, but a strong burst of wind blew him back from Sylvain.

The magic cut Sylvain as well, but Caspar definitely took the worst of the hit. Sylvain staggered, but stayed up. He turned and saw Annette charging towards him with Dedue hot on her heels. Caspar hesitated instead of advancing as Linhardt gave him a boost of white magic.

Annette reached Sylvain’s side and held her hands up, a Sagittae glinting on her fingertips. “Caspar, Linhardt, please!” she begged.

Linhardt’s cool expression cracked with unease. Caspar’s joy in the fighting vanished and he looked horrified for a moment. He hefted his axe again, but didn’t charge. Dedue stepped up next to Sylvain, positioning his shield so that he could guard him against physical attacks.

Annette’s hand trembled. “Don’t let it come to this, please.” Her voice shook and Sylvain’s chest tightened.

Caspar’s expression set in a firm line and he raised his axe. Linhardt, from behind him, put a hand on his shoulder. The healer’s eyes were on Annette and he looked calm and cool, just as he had before Caspar had tried to remove Sylvain’s head.

White magic flowed from Linhardt’s fingers and Sylvain inhaled sharply as the gash on his arm healed and the pain in his ribs lessoned. Linhardt’s expression didn’t waver as he finished the Physic spell.

Linhardt’s wrist twisted suddenly with a new spell and there was a pop of white magic. He and Caspar disappeared and Sylvain’s legs gave out. He cracked his head on the edge of Dedue’s shield as he went down and everything went dark.

-

Sylvain came to with Mercedes leaning over him, her hand pressed against his forehead. He groaned and closed his eyes again, blocking out the light from the medical tent. He was dizzy and sore and not entirely sure what had happened. He tried to lift a hand, but gentle pressure on his wrist forced it back down against the cot.

“Sylvain,” Mercedes said gently. “You’re okay,” she assured.

After a second where his blood pounded in his ears so loudly he couldn’t hear anything else, he cracked his eyes open again. Mercedes was still leaning over him, a kind smile on her face.

“You’re okay,” she said again.

“I’m lucky,” he mumbled. “Annette saved my ass. Scared off Lin and Caspar.”

Mercedes hummed gently. “She told me. Dedue mentioned that it was an Excalibur that brought you down?”

Sylvain didn’t want to think about the powerful wind spell that had ripped him from his mount. His poor wyvern. She had been so faithful in the months since the war began. He wondered if he’d get a new mount. Wyverns were harder to raise than horses. He didn’t know if there would be one to spare for him to replace his mount. He closed his eyes, surprised to find them burning with tears.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

Mercedes brushed her hand through the hair on his forehead. “Well, I’ve done my full check-up. You’ll be just fine in a few days. I want you to take it easy on your leg, but you’ll be okay, Sylvain.”

Mercedes’s touch was warm and gentle and it reminded Sylvain of the way that his mother used to stroke his face when he was a child. Before he became afraid of Miklan and his mother grew disillusioned with the family she had married into. Before he lost his youth and he wasn’t a kid anymore.

Mercedes’s lips skimmed over his forehead. “I’ve got you,” she murmured, sliding her other hand into one of his and squeezing it softly.

Sylvain felt tears roll down his cheeks and he stubbornly kept his eyes shut. He didn’t speak because he was afraid his voice would break, but he squeezed Mercedes’s hand back.

“Yeah,” he breathed out slowly when he could trust himself to speak again. “Thank you, Mercedes.”

-

They marched towards Enbarr. Dimitri and Byleth led on; the army’s head and heart moving as one.

Sylvain flew beside Ingrid on a new mount and allowed himself to dream of what kind of future awaited them on the other side of the war.

-

“Felix!” he yelled, jogging towards him.

Felix paused, turning. His expression was grave and his hand hovered over the hilt of his sword. Sylvain didn’t hesitate and threw his arms around his friend, hugging him close. To his surprise, Felix’s arms snapped around him too and they hugged fiercely.

Sylvain laughed weakly and clutched at Felix’s armour. “Don’t die on me, Fe.”

“After you, you reckless son of a bitch,” Felix replied gruffly.

Sylvain drew back but kept both of his hands firmly gripping Felix’s shoulders. “I think we can both agree that my father’s the bitch, not my mom.”

Felix grabbed Sylvain’s wrist. “You’re not him,” he said, his voice hard. “You won’t be him, Sylvain.”

Sylvain closed his eyes. “I’m trying,” he said, his voice cracking. “We have to win this one, Fe. For everything we’ve lost and for everything we stand to lose.”

“Then mount up, you idiot,” Felix replied sharply.

His grip tightened on Sylvain’s wrist to the point of discomfort. Felix looked meaningfully up at the sky and Sylvain did too, eyeing the Galatea Pegasus Corps that was flying above them, getting ready to spearhead the assault on Enbarr. Sylvain spotted Ingrid easily enough. She wasn’t wearing her helmet and her blonde hair was whipping in the wind around her face. He was too far away to see the expression on her face, but he saw her raise Lúin and he saw her battalion rally behind her.

“You’d better live long enough to tell her that you love her,” Felix said fiercely.

Sylvain’s grip on his shoulders loosened. His head spun. Ingrid was Ingrid: dedicated and compassionate and loyal and beautiful. She put up with his shit and Felix’s shit and Dimitri’s shit and she gave it right back. She looked like a war spirit surging in the sky above them and his heart thumped in his chest.

“Promise me now,” Felix continued. "Promise me that you won’t leave her.”

“I won’t,” Sylvain replied hoarsely. “I can’t,” he finished.

Felix hugged him again for a second before he sprung back and drew his blade, pulling Aegis off his back as well. “Then I’ll see you on the other side.”

-

They all came out on the other side. They were scarred and bruised and drained and hurt, but they were alive. In the Imperial Palace, Byleth and Dimitri emerged from the central throne room and a raucous cheer went up across the Alliance-Kingdom forces and the Knights of Seiros.

Sylvain threw an arm around Leonie and Ashe and smiled as hard as he could. His side was aching and his hands were blistered from swinging his weapons, but he was alive. Nearby, he could see Felix holding Annette by the waist as her hands traced his face and chest, searching for wounds. Dedue and Mercedes stood next to each other, their fingertips barely brushing every few seconds. Petra ran up and tackled Ashe into a hug, tugging him away from Sylvain. Leonie pinched Sylvain and ducked out from under his arm, heading towards Lorenz, who she gave a swift, affectionate punch to the shoulder. Marianne was fretting over Ignatz as Dorte nudged at both of them.

Dorothea was holding Ingrid’s hands as the two girls laughed and chatted to each other over the cheers of the army. Sylvain’s heart pounded and Ingrid glanced towards him as if she had heard it.

She had blood in her hair at her hairline, but her green eyes were bright and alive. She smiled at him and Sylvain could only let out a breathy laugh as his heart somersaulted in his chest. Ingrid excused herself from Dorothea and ran towards him.

Sylvain caught her face in his hands and her hands gripped his armour at his ribs. Ingrid’s eyes were smiling as Sylvain ran his thumb over her cheek.

“We made it,” he said to her. The words disappeared into the sounds of celebration, but Ingrid still smiled at him.

“We did it,” Ingrid corrected, practically having to shout so that he could hear her words.

Sylvain pressed his forehead to hers and slid his arms around her neck, hugging her properly. It wasn’t a comfortable position with both of them still wearing their full battle armour, but he could feel her fingers digging into the gaps in his armour.

She finally pulled back, her hand rising to his face as she touched a scar that lingered on his jaw from a battle Sylvain didn’t even remember. “We can go home now,” Ingrid said, sounding excited.

Sylvain’s stomach sank like a rock. Where was his home now? Where did he go? Did he return to Garreg Mach with the knights? Did he follow Dimitri to Fhirdiad? Did he return to Margravate Gautier to the walls that had trapped him his whole life?

His expression must have twisted because Ingrid’s smile dropped. “Sylvain.”

He couldn’t breathe. His stomach turned and his throat burned. His hands shook and his vision blurred and he stumbled. Ingrid grabbed him by the straps of his armour, her eyes widening in shock.

“Sylvain!” she cried out, trying to hold him up as his entire body revolted against his consciousness.

A second set of hands grabbed him and together, Ingrid and the other person maneuvered him through the crowd onto a balcony. The fresh air burned, but Sylvain planted his hands on the railing and took deep, rattling breaths to try and calm himself. Dimly, he could hear voices behind him: Ingrid and another woman. The blood rushing in his ears slowly faded and he recognized Dorothea’s gentle tone.

“He’s having a panic attack,” the songstress murmured. “Did you say something that might have set him off?”

Ingrid didn’t reply to Dorothea, but he heard her inhale sharply. Sylvain kept his eyes locked on a point in the courtyard below him, his hands tightening on the railing until his knuckles were bone-white. A hand touched his elbow and then slid down to cover his hand, massaging it gently.

He managed to turn his gaze to Ingrid. She lifted her other hand to touch his cheek and wiped away a tear that had slipped out without him noticing. Dorothea’s shoes clicked as she retreated back inside, leaving them alone.

“Sylvain,” Ingrid breathed slowly. “We’re okay. We’re okay.” He exhaled slowly. Ingrid nodded reassuringly. “Can you breathe with me?”

She pulled his head down until it pressed against the top of her chest and he could feel the rise and fall of her breaths against his ear. He copied her deep breaths until he was breathing normally again.

Shame flooded him and he pulled back, looking away. Ingrid turned his face back towards her and he didn’t see any disappointment or frustration in her gaze, just patience and warmth.

“You back with me?” she asked quietly.

Sylvain laughed weakly. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“You’re worried about going home,” Ingrid said, ignoring his apology. “That’s what it is, right?”

“You know me so well.”

“I’m scared too,” she confessed. “I don’t know how I’m going to face my father after everything that I did during the war.” Pain flickered in her expression and Sylvain brought a hand up to mirror her, cupping her cheek.

“I can’t go back to my father, Ing,” he said quietly. “I can’t go play perfect child and take a perfect wife and have a group of perfect, Crest-bearing children. I can’t go back to murdering every man who steps foot over the Sreng border.”

“You could go with Dimitri,” she suggested.

The look on her face told him that she knew that wasn’t an option just as well as he did. He was the heir to one of the most influential Kingdom Houses and they had just won a 5-year long war. There was rebuilding to do and House Gautier would need an heir to lead the restoration efforts.

“I have to go back to him,” Sylvain said. “It’s my duty. I’ll,” he paused, reigning in the bitterness in his tone, “figure it out.”

“Come to Galatea with me first,” Ingrid said suddenly. “Then I’ll come to Gautier with you.”

Sylvain paused. What she was proposing sounded dangerously like something much more than a friend’s comforting presence. His heart stuttered in his chest.

“Ingrid,” he said quietly.

She winced. “That was not how I intended to say that.”

He blinked.

She laughed faintly and ran her thumb across his cheek again. “Come home with me. Then I’ll come home with you.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” he pressed, letting a bit of playfulness creep into his voice.

Ingrid’s cheeks flushed and her lips parted. The lead in his stomach vanished suddenly and a smile crept up on his face. He settled his hand at the junction of her jaw and smiled more broadly at her.

“I thought that would be my job, once all of this was over,” he said lightly.

Ingrid’s mouth slammed shut and her green eyes got wide. “Sylvain.”

“I love you, Ing. Let me come home with you and then you can come home with me.”

“Okay,” she breathed.

He bent his neck and kissed her. Her hand slid down and her arm tucked around his neck, pulling him in close. She smelled like sweat and iron and horse, but she was warm and solid against him. He pressed his lips against hers more firmly and she parted her lips in a gasp. He drank her in like he was drowning until she was the only thing in his senses, utterly consuming him.

She broke away, inhaling sharply. Her face was flushed and she opened her mouth to say something when the balcony door behind them banged open. Ingrid tried to draw away from him, but Sylvain looped an arm around her and didn’t let her retreat.

Felix stood in the doorway behind them, a faint blush on his cheeks, and he was holding Annette’s hand. The redhead was smiling at them and Felix was trying and failing to conceal a smirk.

“If you two are done, we have a victory to celebrate,” he called dryly.

Sylvain squeezed Ingrid’s waist and smiled at her. “Yeah,” he replied, “we’re coming.”

[theshatteredrose]

Fighting For You (Chapter 8) - Trials of Mana Fanfiction

AN: I have nothing to say other than “poor Duran :’D”. Hope you enjoy reading~

Chapter 8:

Duran curled his hands into fists and tugged at his restraints. He knew he couldn’t break them on his own, and he wasn’t about to drain more of his strength. He was simply trying to find a position that was even remotely comfortable.

Not possible.

Everything hurt. His arms, his legs, his shoulders, his back. The way he was held and positioned; it was clear that not only was he to be retrained, but he was to be as uncomfortable as possible. A form of torture, probably.

The pain and discomfort, he could handle. It was his inability and knowledge that he couldn’t do anything to help himself that was difficult to contend with.

He had always been taught to face his troubles and problems head on. Preferably with a swing of a sword. Multiple swings if necessary. If that was not enough, then to train and get strong enough so that he could.

But he couldn’t do that here. Not with this situation.

Waiting…

He hated it. Unable to move, unable to help, unable to do anything but lose himself to his own thoughts and fears. He hated it. He hated it so much.

Hawkeye. Kevin.

He hoped they were alright. They were strong. Yeah. Very strong. The both of them. He had seen them in battle. They…would be able to defeat those knights easily, right?

Right?

“Of course they will! They’re fighting for you.”

“Hold your head high and focus on that faith.”

Faerie? Shade? Duran thought he told the Elementals and Faerie to join with Hawkeye and Kevin. They would be of use with them. Not with him.

“I can’t leave. You’re my host, after all,” Faerie replied.

“I am needed here more,” Shade added, though would not say anything more.

…Ok. He was glad for the company, to be completely honest. He needed something to focus his thoughts on. To distract him from the slithering vines and the relentless firmness of the chains coiled around him.

A sudden, sharp pain to the centre of his chest caused Duran to throw his head back on a strangled cry.

Had something just stabbed him in the chest?! Where did that come from!

“It was a spiritual attack,” Shade replied quickly and grimly. “A flower had blossomed.”

What? A flower had bloomed?

Gritting his teeth, Duran peeled open an eye and looked down. On a vine around his left ankle, a flower. A surprising bright blue in colour with six petals.

Then that meant…there was twelve left.

But…why did it hurt him when the flower bloomed?

“These vines are what is attempting to sap you of your strength,” Shade revealed, his voice lower and darker than usual.

So, the chains were just to keep him in place while the vines worked to steal his strength and energy. A slow, methodical attack from the buds themselves.

Cowardly.

“This must be what the other swordsmen endured,” Duran murmured through gritted teeth.

“Indeed.”

Duran unwillingly tensed when a new voice was heard. Much like the ominous, overbearing voice from before. Yet, it did not have the hollow, echoing quality to it. Only the echoing of approaching footsteps.

Though it was somewhat difficult, Duran managed to twist his head in the direction of the noise. A form began to appear within the shadows, darker than its surroundings. The footsteps were slow, purposely menacing. No doubt designed to agitate and unnerve Duran further.

A few intense moments later, a figure finally appeared. They wore the typical armour of a knight, but of a mismatch of colours ranging from red, orange, gold, and silver. They also wore a deep red cloak, draped surprisingly regally over their shoulders.

“You?” Duran growled through gritted teeth as the knight stood before the flower patch of which had him restrained. “You’re the one behind all of this?”

A slow nod of a helmet covered head. “That is correct.”

Finally, the one responsible finally showed up. He was getting tired with staring into the void. At last, he had someone or something to yell at!

“Who are you? What are you trying to achieve?”

“You will refer to me as simply Agnar,” they replied briskly. “My goal is simple; I wish to possess your talents with a sword.”

Simple, huh? That didn’t sound very “simple”.

“Why can’t you just train like a normal person?” Duran couldn’t help but retort.

Agnar, however, was unfazed. Though, it was hard to tell regardless. “I am far from normal. Though, I was once a normal swordsman.”

Duran furrowed his brow. “Once?”

“It is a long story.” Agnar began to slowly pace in front of him, each step meticulous and loud. “I do not see the harm in telling. I do enjoy a captive audience.”

Duran’s eye twitched. A wise guy, huh? It didn’t matter. As long as the jerk was with him, they couldn’t go after Hawkeye and Kevin. They were putting themselves at risk already. They didn’t need someone like them interfering.

In current circumstances, delaying their adversary was the very least Duran could do.

“I was once sent on a journey. With a company of four. I was to be the guard of my Princess. Whom I had pledged my life to. It was a journey to search for the mysterious Dark Mana Stone. Yet, it was not long into our journey that we encountered a powerful creature. I did what I was trained to do; I put my life on the line for my Princess.”

Agnar stopped in his pacing with his back toward Duran. And just stood there for a few lingering moments. Likely lost in memories.

Just as Duran began to wonder if he should say something to prompt the knight to continue, a sharp pain erupted in the centre of his chest. Once again, Duran threw his head back, unwillingly releasing a cry of agony.

Th-that pain…had another flower bloomed?

“Hm. That is a sound I’ve heard many times before,” Agnar suddenly mused. “From myself as well. Though, my companions thought nothing of it.”

Duran gritted his teeth as he waited for the pain in his chest to subside. “What…do you mean?”

Agnar returned to his pacing. “When I stepped before an attack that was meant for my Princess, I received severe injuries. Crippling injuries. I had done what I was trained, yet my Princess and companions were not so grateful. I…my injuries were so severe that no amount of healing could restore me. I…could not return to the way of a swordsman.”

That caught Duran’s full attention and he stared at Agnar with wide eyes. What kind of injuries had they sustained? What monster had they encountered?

“They abandoned me,” Agnar suddenly stated, their voice still hollow, yet there was undeniable anger and resentment as well. “I was no longer of any use. I could not aide them on their journey. They left me to die within Burning Sands. A swordsman who cannot wield a sword is better off dead. My Princess, who I had sworn my life to, cast me aside. I was worthless, she said. Worthless…”

Abandoned? Would someone really do that to one of their companions? How could they? But…what princess were they speaking of? There were but two princesses that he was aware off. Neither of them could be responsible.

How old was Agnar? How long had they lured swordsmen into their grasp?

“But I would not die. My hatred, my resentment, my need for revenge sustained me until I reached Dinn Oasis. And there, I discovered a book. A tome filled with dark magic. Magic I could use to fuel my revenge. I knew from that point onwards that there was but one way to regain my skills. By taking the skills and energies from other swordsmen.”

What? Was that what they meant that everything Duran possessed would belong to them? They was trying to steal his abilities with a sword from him?!

That cowardly cur!

“And that is through a dark ritual.” Agnar paced over to stand directly before Duran and tilted their head back so that they could look up at him as well, “But there was a slight…side effect.”

Duran was almost too afraid to ask. But he did anyway, “Side effect?”

Raising their arms slowly from their sides, they reached for their head. Unexpectedly, they twisted the helmet sharply to the side, eliciting a click. For added dramatic effect, they slowly lifted the helmet.

Duran’s eyes widen, an expression of horror flickering across his face as he tried to understand what it was that he was seeing.

A skull. Nothing but a bleach white skull looked back at him. No flesh, no skin. Not an eyeball in the empty eye sockets. Just a human skull.

“Wh-what happened to you?” he spluttered. He would have attempted to scramble away in shock, but his bindings prevented that.

With the helmet clutched within their hands, Agnar continued to face him. Duran couldn’t tell if they were staring at him, or even looking. They had no eyes. Nothing at all. Just a skull. He couldn’t get over that.

A skull. It was just a skull.

“The ritual required that I release all my earthly bonds. Including my physical body.” The skull didn’t move, even as the sound of Agnar’s voice resonated from within.

“B-but the skeleton remained, huh? Ironic.”

Mercifully, Agnar moved to reinstate his helmet. “Unfortunate, yes. As I said, a slight side-effect. Though, the bones are merely a physical structure. I am not limited to the limitation of the human body. I cannot be harmed. I cannot feel pain. No blood, no muscles to strain.”

That…Ok, that didn’t make much sense, honestly.

“But plenty of bones to break,” Duran pointed out. “What then?”

Agnar shook their head. “No. As I said, I cannot be harmed.”

“I don’t believe that,” Duran fearlessly retorted. “Because, if that was true, you wouldn’t need the skills and strength of other swordsmen.”

Agnar didn’t reply. Not that Duran heard, at least. That becoming familiar sharp pain erupted from the centre of his chest once more. Forcing a scream from his throat and for him to tense against his bindings. He fell limp shortly after, panting for breath.

Another flower had blossomed.

The pain was increasing.

“Wh-why are you doing this?” Duran panted, his strength decreasing rapidly. “I…I didn’t take your skills away.”

“No. But you are a swordsman,” Agnar answered. “Noble, righteous, stupid. A puppet. Nothing but a puppet to be thrown away for someone, or something much stronger. The smallest sign of weakness and you will be cast aside. Like I was. It is inevitable. I am merely…speeding up the process.”

Cast aside? No. That…that wouldn’t happen to him. He companions wouldn’t abandon him like that. They wouldn’t!

“That’s right!” Faerie quickly chimed in. “We would never leave you. Not now, not ever!”

“Your companions are fighting for you as we speak,” Shade added.

That was right. Hawkeye. Kevin. The Elementals. They were defeating the knights and retrieving the keys. Duran just had to wait for them to return. Endure the pain for as long as it takes.

“There are thirteen flowers. When they all bloom, your power, your skills, your strength, everything you possess…will be mine,” Agnar reiterated, content to remind him of his predicament.

But Duran didn’t care how many flowers there were. “Don’t count on it! My friends will defeat your knights easily!”

“They’re not my knights they are battling.”

What?

“Wait…are they-?”

Agnar nodded their head sharply. Almost proudly. “They are the previous swordsmen who tried to best me.”

Duran tugged violently against his restraints. “Best you? You lured them here!”

“Seven so far.” Agnar turned sharply and marched toward the shadows. “You will be the eighth.”

“Not a chance!”

Wait, seven? One for…each chain?

That line of thought abruptly ended when another pain struck him in the centre of his chest. Another scream ripped from his throat, leaving him breathless.

B-blast it.

Was there anything he could do to slow the blossoming flowers? He couldn’t be completely useless, could he?

…power…power…master deserves power…

And now the whispering had started. Just like those of his nightmares!

…give in…give in…you cannot win…

Sh-shut up! He was trying to think!

“Ignore the whispering,” Shade instructed. “Focus your intent elsewhere.”

Wh-where, though? Everything hurt. Nothing made sense. It was so dark. It was so quiet. He was so useless.

“Focus on your friends, Duran,” Faerie pleaded with him. “Think about them. Remind yourself why you are friends.”

His…friends?

“Talk to me about Kevin.”

Kevin? Well, he was an interesting kid. Naïve and innocent in so many ways. He was a good guy, though. Earnest, easily confused but willing to throw himself into battle at a moment’s notice for the sake of another.

He could be adorable, too. Without trying. Though, he did wish that Kevin wouldn’t try to eat everything he came across. Pity about his disdain for boats. Duran had awoken many a time with Kevin grasping onto him. Usually clinging onto his back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Man, he had an iron grip! Nothing other than waking him up would remove the hold he had on him.

Honestly, that kid…he was what Duran imagined a little brother would be.

“What about Hawkeye?”

Hawkeye…?

He…was an interesting guy. Endured so much but managed to maintain his charming, flirty facade. Able to smile, despite it all. But Duran knew that it was more of a safety blanket. He was a thief. Hiding in plain sight was that they did, right?

He did…he did make him feel strange, though.

“What do you feel for him, Duran?” Faerie asked him softly, gently. “Tell me.”

How he felt…? He honestly wasn’t sure. He had never felt anything like that before. With anyone. The need to be close to him. To be with him. To have his attention upon him. Be it a serious conversation or simple teasing.

Like he had done in front of that elderly woman in Mintas. He was playful. Having fun. It…annoyed Duran, sure. And yet…yet Duran had enjoyed it. The way he had pulled himself close to him. His arm around his waist. The things he had said. Leaning against him. Saying some…loving things.

But it was all fake, wasn’t it? Even though…

“Go on, Duran.”

He had wanted it to be real…

It…could never be real, could it?

The loud sound of wood splintering and exploding abruptly tore Duran from his musings and he tensed, anticipating something dangerous. Something menacing. But it was the sound of someone panting while laughing prompted Duran to pool his strength together and twist his head around. To look toward the stairs.

“Hey, sorry for the wait, but I’m back~”

“Me too! Back with keys!”

Hawkeye…Kevin…

Duran sighed in relief as the other Elementals all made themselves known to him. They all chittered at him, clearly concerned. But they had returned. Hawkeye and Kevin were alive.

That…

As another flower bloomed and another screamed ripped from his throat, the sound of marching footsteps echoed around them. Moving quickly. Angrily.

“I didn’t expect you two to actually succeed…” Agnar was heard sneering.

[trinuviel]

The Spiral, the Storm and the Wheel

THE SPIRAL

The White Walkers are in many respects a mysterious and somewhat frustrating enemy in Game of Thrones. They never speak but they do have some form of intellect since they create grisly patterns out of severed body parts: 1) a bisected circle and 2) a spiral. Both symbols originated with the creators of the WW, the Children of the Forest - and the spiral in particular is associated with the creation of the Night King since the tree where he was created was surrounded by a spiral created out of standing stones.

It is still unclear what the spiral signified for the Children of the Forest - but in an interview in The New York Post, Dave Hill, one of the writers on the show, explains that the Night King has adopted the symbol as a way to mock his creators:

The question is: has the meaning changed through this appropriation? That is at present not possible to answer since we have no idea what the symbol originally meant to the Children of the Forest. However, I do think that we can attempt to figure out what the Night King means when his people re-create the spiral through dismembered human and animal bodies. Because these spirals are a message, in a sense, and he’s saying “I am coming for you” while at the same time making a mockery of something that was sacred to his creators.

This spiral looks a lot like a wheel without a rim, endlessly spinning around and around. This is rather interesting since Daenerys Targaryen repeatedly talks about “breaking the wheel” in relation to her political ambition of conquering Westeros (I’ll return to this subject later). If the spiral is a spinning wheel, then what does it mean? The image of poor little Ned Umber at the center of a spiral made of severed human limbs in the first episode of season 8 inspired Professor Tyler Dean to write a very interesting opinion piece on the website of the publishing house Tor, which specializes in science fiction and fantasy:

The Mexica believed that time was a spiral. Not a circle, where everything that happened previously was destined to happen again, identical, ad inifinitum. Not linear, where the way forward was uncharted and momentum, progress, and change ruled the day. But, as author/illustrator James Gurney once pointed out to my eight-year-old brain, a combination of the two: a spiral. The forces of history push us ever forwards, but events rhyme with one another—parallel but not identical. That was what I couldn’t get out of my head after watching “Winterfell,” the final season premiere of Game of Thrones.

...

Spiral time is uncanny. We are reminded of familiar events and sequences but they are spiked with the creeping dread that they are not quite what we think or expect them to be.

...

We might be tempted to think of spirals as orderly and predictable, but “Winterfell” reinforces the idea that time in Westeros is not organized in a tightly-bound pattern but a widening gyre: each revolution around the center may echo previous events, but it brings its own entropy and decay. (Tor.com)

This idea of time as a spiral is a very interesting one but what I find especially compelling is this notion of the spiral being connected to an idea of entropy and decay. Tyler goes on to quote The Second Coming, a famous poem by W.B. Yeats:

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned

THE STORM

The notion of decay in relation to the spiral set off various chains of association for me - about how the Night King and the White Walkers are an inhuman and unrelenting force of destruction, in that sense that they come close to be the magical equivalent to a destructive force of nature. The NK is even described as such by Jon Snow who says that he is the Storm. That made me connect the spiral with images of storm systems as they look from space.

On the right we have a picture of a spiral that the WW made from dismembered horses after they defeated the Night’s Watch at The Fist of the First Men in season 2. The picture to the left is a satellite image of a hurricane. The visual resemblance is very close indeed. 

In the first episode of season 8, the spiral was reintroduced when Tormund, Beric and the remainder of the Night’s Watch come upon what remains of the Umber seat, The Last Hearth, after it has been run over by the WW.

When it turns out that poor little Ned Umber has become a zombie, Tormund and friends set fire to him and the body parts that make up the spiral. This is the first time that we’ve seen the spiral associated with the element of fire. This has led people to note a certain resemblance between the spiral and the style in which the Targaryen sigil is rendered.

There is indeed a bit of a likeness - and it is worth noting that the Targaryen sigil and the spirals that the WW each have seven arms.

(source)

Is this resemblance merely a coincidence or is there a deeper meaning at work? It is hard to tell but I want to explore this connection a bit further because the sole known Targaryen of this story is, in fact, also visually connected to the spiral symbol. In season 4, Daenerys Targaryen wears a dress made from laser-cut fabric that sports a repeated spiral pattern.

She is also known as the Stormborn because she came into the world during the worst storm that Westeros had seen in living memory. She is also a very war-like character and it is worth remembering that in the books “storm” is often used as a synonym for for “war”. With a bit of squinting one can even perceive s spiral shape hidden in one of the final images of the season 3 finale where Daenerys is lifted up by the freed slaves of Meereen.

It is faint but you could make an argument that it is there. This connection between Daenerys and the Night King is enhanced by the larger thematic framework of GRRM’s story. They are both associated with the extremes of Ice and Fire - indeed, just like the dragons are Fire Made Flesh, so are the White Walkers Ice made Flesh, which I have examined elsewhere.

THE WHEEL

The spiral also somewhat resembles a wheel, as I’ve previously mentioned. I’m not the only person who has noted this resemblance, @lady-griffin mentions this resemblance in this post. In the later seasons, Daenerys Targaryen has become known for wanting to “break the wheel” - but what does that mean?

In season 5 she tells Tyrion Lannister that she’ll have the support of the common people in Westeros and she describes the feudal system as a wheel with spokes made up of the noble Houses. In this context, it seems as though she wants to destroy the feudal system of the country she wants to conquer. However, as she herself mentions, her own House is part of this system and she’s not intending to create a radically new system since she still wants to be Queen. She still wants to occupy the hub of the wheel, i.e. the Iron Throne. She simply wants to remove anyone who can be a threat to her power. What she wants is not a more democratic system but an absolute monarchy with her at the top.

Nebulous and contradictory plans is very typical of Dany’s political rhetoric but I’m rather interested in how she describes this system:

“Lannister, Targaryen, Baratheon, Stark, Tyrell. They’re all just spokes on a wheel. This one’s on top, then that one’s on top. And on and on it spins, crushing those on the ground.”

This conjures a specific concept of Classical (and later Medieval) thought: the Rota Fortuna, or Fortune’s Wheel:

In medieval and ancient philosophy the Wheel of Fortune, or Rota Fortunae, is a symbol of the capricious nature of Fate. The wheel belongs to the goddess Fortuna (Greek equivalent Tyche) who spins it at random, changing the positions of those on the wheel: some suffer great misfortune, others gain windfalls. Fortune appears on all paintings as a woman, sometimes blindfolded, "puppeteering" a wheel. (Wikipedia)

Interestingly, the show invokes Fortune’s Wheel visually in the opening credits. Thus, the Rota Fortuna embodies the political game that dominates the show. Fortune’s Wheel is the very embodiment of the Game of Thrones!

The thing about Fortune’s Wheel is that it never stops spinning. The same goes for the political game - there will always be someone who seeks power, regardless of whether there is a throne or not. The games of power and influence exist wherever human society exist regardless of what kind of government they have - there will always be politics and power plays. The only way to truly stop the spinning of the wheel is to eradicate humankind. There can be no game if there are no players.

This leads me back to the what the spiral may have meant for the Children of the Forest. The NK has adopted this symbol as an act of mockery - it signifies blasphemy on his part according to show writer Dave Hill. In this context, it is important to note that the WW always create this spiral symbol out of dismembered bodies - it is made of dead things and, in a way, the spiral as it is made by the WW symbolizes Death. If the WW’s spiral is an image of Death and it represents an act of blasphemy on the part of the NK, then it is very possible that the spiral signified Life for the CotF - symbolizing that Life spins ever onward through nature.

They created the NK by killing and magically re-animating a human man. The original blasphemy was theirs - and there’s a certain symmetry to the fact that the weapon they created by polluting their own magic turned against them. On a final note I also wish to point out that the Weirwood tree where the CotF created the NK is now dead!

This is actually a very important detail because in ASoIaF lore, weirwood trees are practically immortal. They don’t wither and die - unless they are interfered with.

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Denying Desire

Next up... @nyktoon-in-otomeland

Kennyo / historical / #12 / fluff

#12: Honey, I’m good – Andy Grammer

WARNING: One bothersome friend

---

Denying Desire

When the message came, he had been sitting in a long-forgotten hunter’s hut in the forest sheltering from the elements for the night. A knock on its rotting wood frame had him reaching for his staff before opening the door. The metal rings chimed in the silence reminding him of the past whilst reassuring him of the present.

The door creaked on its rusted joints and a silent figure handed him a small scroll. No words had passed between them and as soon as the stranger had completed their delivery they seemed to melt into the trees and vanished. Becoming just another moving shadow in the darkness surrounding him.

*

Standing in the street looking up at the unassuming building in front of him he couldn’t help but sigh. The carefree atmosphere of the day he had spent in town amongst the unsuspecting town's inhabitants was gone. Drifting away like the trapped heat in the earth under his feet as it was kissed by the chilled caress of nightfall.

“I always thought you would end up spending your final days in a place such as this but I had hoped as a friend you would see the error of your ways and be proved wrong.” Kennyo spoke softly to the wind before taking a few steps inside the building and meeting the proprietress.

“Good Evening. Can I help you?” a smiling middle-aged woman in an elaborately designed kimono spoke from behind a small counter. Various small items on display near her made it look as if it was some sort of festival stall.

“I received a message directing me here from an acquaintance.” His voice was calm and dispassionate.

“Ah! You must be the friend of that charming man we have had the pleasure of entertaining.” The proprietress’s face contorted as her eyes crinkled happily. Truth be told it made him want to recoil but he held his ground.

“If by charming you mean incorrigible then yes you are probably right. Which room might he be in?”

“Third on right. I shall let the girls know to expect another guest.” The unnerving smile didn’t leave her face as she pulled on a silk cord on the wall behind her.

“Girls?” He almost stumbled as the movement of his feet stalled along with his mind that was catching up to what he had just been told. Nothing about this sounded anyway close to what he was told in that message. Cursing his own lack of foresight when it came to how blindsided his friend made him, he continued down the hallway.

He found the room and the door slid back before he could even knock. An attractive young lady smiled up at him, her pale-yellow kimono was pushed away from her neck revealing a scandalous amount of bare flesh and the notable fact that she did not appear to be wearing a juban.

“Welcome we’ve been expecting you.” She ushered him into the room. A sickeningly sweet smell permeated the air, clawing at his nose and lungs. Music was being played from the corner of the room and a group of women were dancing at its centre. Bare legs flashed from beneath loose garments, long hair flowing free swaying with their movements. He couldn’t help but feel that this was like walking into a test of his control. He had spent many years in temple gaining his focus, maintaining his mental grip over such things. And here was his friend lounging around at the centre of it all.

“Well if it isn’t Kennyo”

“What is the meaning of this?” Kennyo made no attempt to move further into the room. The dancers stopped their movements and retreated to the walls freeing up the floor for the exchange between the two male guests.

“Is something the matter? You really shouldn’t frown so much you know it ages you.” Shingen brought his large hand to his own brow and tapped it. The women draped over him like a haori removed themselves and became very busy and focused on the removal of the empty sake bottles and plates.

“Your message said you were dying.”

“I am. I was dying to see my friend again for a drink. It’s been too long Kennyo, you know you don’t make it easy to find you?” Shingen opened his arms up in an exaggerated gesture as he acted out a show of being upset.

“Shingen. I can’t believe you summoned me like—No actually I can. I’m leaving.” Kennyo huffed and spun on his heel ready to slam open the door and leave the room. At least that was what he wanted to do but a strong grip latched onto his shoulder from behind and held him in place.

“Now, now. Don’t be so grumpy. Have a drink with me.” Shingen could move fast when he wanted too and had apparently pounced like a tiger to prevent Kennyo from leaving. His words were friendly enough but the strength in his grip showed he was serious about not letting the other man leave just yet.

“I have no desire to remain in this establishment surrounded by your trained distractions and risk my own life.”

“When did you get to be such a wet blanket? You never used to be like this you know?” Shingen chuckled sending the musicians and dancers away with a lordly sweep of his hand and beckoned a couple of his haori girls from before back to his side to pour for them. “You really think I would poison you?”

“These are dark times we live in. A friend can easily become an enemy as much as a family member can.”

“True. I cannot deny the logic in that but I also cannot say it doesn’t hurt to think that my oldest and dearest friend would think that I would stoop that low.”

They drank in near silence for a while. The girls in the room eventually left in an effort to find more profitable ways of spending their evening. Now alone with the gentle warming embrace of the alcohol taking effect the austere Monk found himself changing.

“Sorry.” Kennyo reluctantly accepted the sake cup and muttered his apology. He was willing to blame the alcohol for what he was feeling but he also knew it was probably also part of a small nagging idea that he might at some point also hurt his dear friend.

“Do my ears deceive me? You never apologise. Have all those mantras you’ve been muttering since sitting down finally taken their toll on your mind? Or maybe it was something more basic but no less divine.”

“What are you babbling about now?” Kennyo set down his cup content to not have another drink for the time being. It was dangerous enough to be around Shingen Takeda sober but drunk? He might as well be signing his own confession.

“A little bird tells me you found something in the market earlier today.” Shingen had that all-knowing smirk on his face.

“You find lots of things in the market that is rather the point.” Kennyo answered the enquiry appearing bored.

“Ah yes but you don’t always find a Goddess. Certainly not one that smiles as sweetly to men such as us as she would at an innocent child or animal. Someone so guileless… what else could you call her but a Goddess?”

This was the real reason he had been summoned and really didn’t wish to be sucked into one of the Tiger’s traps. And yet he found his lightly intoxicated mind wandering back to the market. How he had bumped into the unlucky girl that had been claimed by the devil king. He had marvelled at her ability to remain untainted by Oda and his men.

He had seen her several times since their fated encounter in the woods at the burning temple. He had distrusted her and felt angry at her ability to lie and act so innocent. That was until he realised none of it was an act. She was nothing more than a normal girl trapped in an extraordinary circumstance and Gods help him if he didn’t find him mind wandering down that path of desire the closer, he got to her. She made him feel things he thought he had cast aside in his pursuit for revenge. She made him feel like a man again, a good man.

“… an angel.” The words slipped past his lips before he could catch them.

“What was that?” Shingen’s smile grew. His eyes flashed clearly enjoying watching whatever emotions were playing out on the monk’s face as he reminisced.

“Nothing. I think this sake is getting to me.” Kennyo was aware he was not being completely honest but he was more willing to blame the alcohol than to admit to anything further.

“Say what you like but you are only lying to yourself you know? For all that higher calling spiel you spout you are ignoring your own heart.” Shingen spoke like he was giving lessons to a vassal, pouring himself another cup of sake.

“What is that supposed to mean? I have no need for such things. My only desire is to see Nobunaga Oda die by my hand.” Kennyo’s voice rose in agitation.

“Are you sure about that? Seems to me you still have some desires left that extend further than that.”

“I’ve had enough I really am leaving.” Rising to his feet he straightened out his robes and made for the door. This time he was not stopped and managed to make it into the hall.

“Have it your way. Send the girls back in on your way out would you?” Shingen called out from behind him through the open door.

“I shall have no hand in assisting you in the continued corruption of the women here. you want them, summon them yourself.”

*

The night air was even more chilled against his alcohol flushed skin as he walked the street to return to the path that would take him to the cabin. It was late but there were still some people moving around the town. His mind was still swaying back and forth in a daze between the market that morning and the area as it was now when the image of the girl lined up and matched perfectly with the silhouette of a figure moving in front of him.

She was walking in the direction of the castle. The sky blue kimono she wore seemed to pick up the dim lighting as she moved past the lanterns and it gave her a glow that looked heavenly. A clattering sound broke the spell he was under and he noticed she was crouched down attempting to pick up something from the floor. His stride naturally lengthened and he was by her side in seconds, his hand reaching out to help her gather up the fallen contents from her coin purse.

“Oh!” Her head snapped up and looked at him her clear doe eyes riveted him in place.

“It is rather late for a lady to be walking the streets without a chaperone.” He spoke hoping his voice didn’t sound as harsh as he thought it did.

“I was delivering a commission and got talked into staying to have a cup of tea. Before I knew it, it had gotten dark.” She stood back up and glanced around a little looking all the world like one of the woodland creatures he saw on his travels.

“Ah yes I remember you did say you were a seamstress. Still, it is dangerous to be walking around at night.” Kennyo nodded collecting the last of the coins and holding them out to her. She cupped her hands to receive them.

“Thank you for your concern. Erm…” Her eyes wavered for a moment after looking at his before glancing off to the side. Her small hands were gripping the coins so tight he was a little worried she would hurt herself.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for helping me. I was actually just thinking I should try to get something to eat before I return as I’ve most likely missed a meal now. Would you care to join me?” Her voice was quiet and kind. That familiar soft expression she seemed to have made his heart give a hard thump in his chest.

“You wish to eat with a demon?” He queried raising his brow quizzically. She knew who he was, knew what he was doing and still was able to ask such a thing? The words from earlier ran through his mind. Who else but a Goddess would smile upon a man such as him?

“Well you keep telling me I live with a devil I can’t see eating with you would be a bad thing.” Her attempt at humour caused her to laugh, a sound that shattered his resistance.

“You really are the most…” His words trailed off as his black eyes took in every inch of the young woman before him in complete wonder.

“Yes?” She inclined her head. Her hair tumbled over her nape with the motion and he found his fingers twitched with a desire to reach out and push it back. He clenched his traitorous hand on his staff pushing that thought aside.

“Nothing. I shall join you and then walk you back to the castle as far as I can go.”

“Yay! Ok then let’s go I got the perfect place in mind.”

If he thought her expression was light before it was positively blinding in the darkness now. She was like a spirit, taking him by the hand and leading him happily along to an alley where tea houses operated late into the night. He wasn’t certain how long he was going to be able to keep up the act of suppressing what he felt. But he was certain of one thing that night. He was in the presence of one of the most bothersome girls he’d ever met, and he didn’t mind that in the slightest.

---