#I can't stick w things long enough

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

...

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 Cupid Walks Right.

Spencer Reid x BAU!reader

Summary: You've been hiding your attraction to your coworker for a long time, until a few pictures of him kissing a celebrity in a pool unleash emotions you can't control.

Words: 1,6k.

Warnings & Tags: fem!reader. mentions of crime and arms. spoilers for s1 e18 ("somebody's watching"). hurt+comfort. two idiots in love. lots of jealousy. fluff. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: The reader is simply me every time I watch that episode but with a lot more drama to make it interesting.

One bullet after another hit the paper meters away from you, with each shot more accurate than the previous one. You had lost count of how many cartridges you had already spent because your mind was full of thoughts that only the sound of the shots echoing in the shooting room managed to silence and give you back a little control of the situation.

Memories of one of the last cases still lingered in your mind, and you couldn't understand why. It hadn't even been something relevant enough to stick in your mind that much, it was just a crazy stalker obsessed with a celebrity and more of the same old same old in terms of creating a profile. It was nothing you hadn't seen before, and it had ended well, with a happy ending that included Spencer kissing the victim he was supposed to be protecting.

That was the crux of the issue, the root of your problem.

You saw some photos that captured the moment in vivid detail and wanted to run out and throw up in the nearest trash can. You held back to avoid answering embarrassing questions, blaming your bad feelings on the last thing you ate and insisting that you were just satisfying your curiosity. But as they say, curiosity always kills the cat.

Maybe it was because it was unprofessional and unnecessary, maybe you were in a bad mood and needed to relax, maybe you were upset that the guy with the germ problem had shared saliva with a stranger, maybe you didn't like Lila Archer because of her performances, or maybe you just wanted to be in her shoes and have him kiss you like that. And for heaven's sake, maybe you've had a few inappropriate dreams about it lately.

You were just about to fire again to get the thoughts out of your mind when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around, ready to defend yourself with the gun in your hand.

“Wait, wait, it's me. I'm sorry.” Spencer raised his arms in a sign of peace and took a few steps back. “Just me.”

“What are you doing here? You scared me.” You lowered the gun and placed it on the table, trying to sound less abrupt. “I thought everyone had gone home.”

He approached you again, checking the open shells and the pile of bullets on the ground. He was quite surprised to see how many times you had hit the target with perfect shots, and how you still seemed intent on continuing, even though it was almost two in the morning. It wasn't practice, because you didn't need it, it was something else, and you seemed quite angry about it.

“I spent the hour going through some papers and saw the light on in here. I thought I'd come and have a look.” He explained, trying to follow your gaze, which seemed to elude his. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, perfect.”

You started gathering your things and cleaning up the space you'd been using, planning to leave as soon as possible because of his presence. It had been weeks since you'd been alone with him because you'd managed to avoid seeing him as best you could. You'd even managed to convince Hotch that it was time for him to pair you up with someone else during the cases to experiment. You didn't even know why he'd listened to you, but it had been a great relief.

“You're leaving already?” Spencer asked, and you just nodded. “Can I take you home?”

Usually he drove you home, because your car was still at the mechanic and you refused to buy a new one. You always used the minutes you spent together to talk about something other than cases, they were moments of relaxation that you both appreciated. The big difference was that now you couldn't afford that luxury without feeling strange.

“Don't worry, I'll call a taxi.” You grabbed your jacket from a nearby locker. “I'm fine.” You added, with the intention of heading for the door until he stopped you by the wrist.

“Is everything okay...between us?” He asked as you looked up to meet his eyes. “Are you mad at me?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You said, feigning confusion. You always knew it was only a matter of time before he figured something was off with you. After all, he worked in profiling.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked again, in a lower voice, sounding a little more vulnerable than he'd intended. That instantly made you feel bad, you didn't want to hurt him with your confusion.

“No.”

He let out a sigh at your automatic response. His shoulders slumped a bit, and he felt a wave of relief for a few seconds. But then he looked into your eyes for a moment and hesitated, biting his lower lip.

“So...why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, sounding a little shy and with a hint of apprehension in his voice. “Or not looking at me at all.”

“I'm not doing anything.” You make excuses.

He got the chills when he heard your voice, which came across as cold and distant.

“You're giving me that look.”

You gave a little frown and folded your arms, as if to say you didn't agree.

“What look?"

“You look at me like I've done something wrong, like you're disappointed or angry...I think both. You barely look me in the eye, you walk away every time I want to talk to you, you don't sit near me on the jet or want to work with me anymore. And you've been like this for a week.” He paused for a second, remembering when your strange behavior started. “Ever since the L.A. case.”

The room was suddenly filled with silence and a palpable tension. You had been foolish to think Spencer wouldn't notice your remoteness, given his perceptive nature. But you didn't have a choice. You didn't want to appear jealous when you didn't even have feelings for him, you were just ovulating or something like that.

“Is it because...because of Lila? I heard Morgan say some things, and you haven't treated me the same since.” His wavering voice sounded more and more confident, as if he still had to convince himself of his point of view. “I want to know what you think, please.”

You could only curse Derek for exposing you like that. He was the only one who knew about your strange attraction to Reid because he had caught you looking at him several times and you had confessed it to him once in a bar after several drinks and a ridiculous game of cross questions. Since that night, the jokes and suggestions about making out with Spencer under a tree had begun.

But a beautiful actress did it before you, in her pool, with lots of pictures to prove it.

“I'm not one to tell you what to do, but I think your actions were unprofessional and most of all risky.” You spoke after a few seconds, clearing your throat and trying to contain the burning you felt. “It could have ended badly.”

Come on, you would have done the same thing. You often thought about what it would be like to kiss him in the middle of an investigation, especially when he kept giving important details. So you were a little hypocritical.

“I'm only saying that because I care about you.” You added, noticing how confused he looked.

“I know, I care about you too.” He replied calmly, taking a step toward you to touch your arm. “This has been bothering you?”

You froze at his warm touch and the implications you thought he was making about you, nodding as if hypnotized. Had he realized that you had been jealous all along? That you wanted to go back so he could kiss you and not her? That you wanted him to put his hands on your cheeks and kiss you deeply until you were breathless?

“I think I understand, but don't worry about me. I won't do anything dangerous anymore.”

Oh, he hadn't noticed.

Spencer really thought that you were just concerned about his safety because he was your friend and your partner on cases, that you were just frustrated that you weren't there to back him up in case things went wrong. It didn't even occur to him that it was something much deeper and more heated than that.

“So, all good?” He gave you a small smile that made your heart beat a little faster.

“Sure.” You lied, with a strange lump in your throat at the guarded words. “I just didn't know you liked blondes.” You added in a fake teasing tone.

Despite your clearly suspicious tone, Spencer laughed sheepishly. “Actually, I like your hair color.”

A strange bubbling sensation reached your stomach and made you smile.

“Mine?” You asked, lowering your gaze to the floor.

“Yes, it's like it's perfect for you.” He carefully brushed your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, causing the feeling in your stomach to identify itself as butterflies fluttering nonstop.

“You're telling me because I have a gun?” You tried to change the subject with a nervous laugh. “I'm not a celebrity, after all.”

“You don't have to be one to be as pretty as you are. But you could be if you wanted to, and...” He started to talk about statistics and a bunch of data you didn't even know, but strangely enough you didn't listen to him this time because you were stuck on the first sentence.

Spencer really thought you were pretty.

It was only then that you realized something had changed. The only successful shot had been Cupid's arrow to your heart.

Because, damn it, you were totally in love with that man.

[pomefioredove]

omomg i love ur writing!! <33

if this works can i request 3rd years + ruggie epel and silver with a GN reader thats very elegant, like duchess from the aristocats?

if possible i’d like reader to not be yuu 🎀

like the reader is the oldest sibling and has a very gentle and elegant aura, making then very loveable by everyone? reader is very smart, attractive, and especially sweet and gentle.

everyone would first assume that theyre spoiled bc theyre an aristocrat but they shock everyone w their personality

I have been writing nothing but fics for months now,, so I'm taking a break by going through the headcanon requests that were sent when I wasn't writing

summary: elegant reader type of post: headcanons characters: third years + ruggie, epel, silver additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not yuu

Trey is your best friend, your platonic soulmate. he's... wary, at first, not really knowing what to expect from you; but he's also the first to warm up. as the designated Heartslabyul mediator and an eldest sibling himself, you two have a lot to bond over. maybe your refined and elegant tastes influence his baking, even; he definitely spoils you

oddly enough, social butterfly Cater has a hard time approaching you. not because you're popular, not because you're an aristocrat, just because you're so... genuine. it's uncommon for a student of Night Raven to be anything even remotely close to nice or sweet, and it throws him off

but he warms up to you eventually; expect to be all over his Magicam within a few months

...he may or may not still be trying to figure out what you're hiding, though

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona has had enough of the nobility to last him a lifetime. expect an eye-roll or a sharp rebuff any time you try to get close, he's never in the mood to deal with "spoiled, silver-spoon sucking little kids" (in his own words). persistence is key, here; much like a housecat, it takes him a long time to get comfortable with new people

now, Ruggie will never miss a chance to take advantage of your kindness. this doesn't mean that he doesn't like you, he's just a man of opportunity! plus, you're an aristocrat; hence, money! eventually, though, he starts feeling kinda bad for you, and he tries to toughen you up a little so you don't get swindled. results are varied

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

oh, Rook is absolutely smitten with you. your elegance, your gentleness, you are the absolute picture of beauty to him!

he's been keeping a close eye on you since orientation, both to ensure your safety, and just because he likes looking at you. everything you do is so delicate, he would put you on a shelf if he could

...not unlike Leona, Epel avoids you. the very last thing he needs is another pampered, elegant noble breathing down his neck, and... being seen with you would hurt his image

after all, he's already struggling to be taken seriously, so befriending the goody-two-shoes lovable sweetheart of NRC is completely out of the question

it takes him some time, but if you let him feel like he's protecting you (somehow), he'll stick to you like glue

you are just like Neige and Vil dislikes you for it. he knows it's unfair, but he can't force himself to get along with someone that reminds him so much of his worst enemy. so perfect, so sweet, pretty, and loved by everyone...

he's not an animal, though; he's civil when you cross paths. he even lets Rook gush about you. just don't expect him to be as easy to befriend as the others

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia is not a fan.

first of all, you're way out of his league.

second of all... no, actually, that's it.

he knows from the start that someone so lovable and popular wouldn't be caught dead with someone like him, and he leaves it at that. unfortunately for him, you're also the curious type, and are drawn to him like a moth to a flame. your patience has no end, and eventually, you wear him down. now he can speak to you in full sentences!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Silver likes you, perhaps more than anyone else, though he doesn't really show it. he's not so great at expressing himself in words, but you can be sure he'll be there if you need something. he's nothing if not loyal, after all

you are so nice to Malleus and he likes it so much :) he's not used to anyone being so gentle with him, and it's a feeling he could easily get addicted to

he maaaay be a little overprotective and wary about your interactions with the other students, but he trusts you, too. just as long as you stay your sweet and endearing self, he's happy

Lilia thinks you're just great. it's not easy staying so kind in a place like this, but he always sees you with a smile on your face and a spring in your step... albeit, a more dignified and elegant one

[milksnake-tea]

hey all !! normally i wouldn't engage in something like this on my blog, but considering that it's happening to a friend of mine, i felt i had an obligation to speak out. sorry for clogging up the tags/interrupting your scrolling 😭

tldr: @/hxveneru has stolen the works of my good friend @lowkeyren not once, but twice and is deleting any comments calling them out.

edit: they've changed their user to @/yneri; if you've blocked them already, this doesn't really matter bc they're still blocked :) reminder to not engage with them, they're just looking for attention. block and ignore!

i know. fun stuff. proof is under the cut.

please note that i'm doing this of my own accord, and the only involvement ren has had in this post is me asking for permission to post it since, well, it's an issue mainly affecting her.

also i should say beforehand but. don't ??? send them death threats please 😭 we are better than that. i'm mainly making this to spread awareness about the issue :)

reblogs are appreciated to spread awareness.

first stolen work is ren's oneshot "drunk words, sober thoughts!" for aventurine here.

as you can see, it was posted on June 15th, a little over two months before hxveneru posted their own oneshot.

for reference. hxveneru is a new blog and all of their posts are in the month of september, proven here via their archive.

and here's the two oneshots side by side, with ren's on the left and the stolen one on the right.

notice how the oneshots are exactly word-for-word except for the title and synopsis? even the author's note is exactly the same. obviously i can't fit the whole thing here, but this should be enough.

honestly it's. i have to laugh at the audacity to just copy and paste like hello???

and here's the second work that was copied, with hxveneru's "diff scenarios w hsr men" taking from drabbles from two of ren's works.

these are the two fics that were stolen from, with their dates attached. both are posted far before september. links are here and here if you want to double check..

now let's look at the drabbles that were - once again, copy and pasted. first is blade's, again with ren on the left and the stolen one on the right (ren's is circled bc they didn't take the hcs part).

and here is the sunday drabble that was stolen.

so far, those are the only works posted on their blog. i was also informed that they had apparently stolen from @/exuvianen's post here but deleted it, but since said post is deleted, we don't have evidence for that so take it with a grain of salt.

but yeah! just wanted to let yall know out there, especially since the plagiarized works have already gained some traction and have 100+ notes on them. i've talked about them vaguely on my blog before, so if this sounds familiar, yeah this is them.

plagiarism is shitty, i shouldn't have to say that. it is not that hard to just write your own stuff. i know validation and publicity make you feel good, but stealing someone else's hard work is not the way to go. writers already have enough to deal with. just don't do it. what's the point of getting validation if it's not even your work?

again, don't send death threats, please. that's a bit far, and they likely won't even do anything since the plagiarizer has already been called out before and this was their response.

not a single ounce of remorse or shame. people have gotten way too comfortable on here.

also "who the hell is ren anyway" bestie you blocked her 😭😭 and ignored her ask to you. that's why ren can't dm her to sort it out privately btw, in case you were wondering.

anyways! that's all i have to say, thanks for sticking around this long and have a great rest of your day. hxveneru if you see this. hi ig ?? id say smth to you but i doubt you'd take it seriously so i won't <3

[slytherinshua]

FATAL FLAW

genre. rivals to lovers. fluff. warnings. competitive/perfectionist reader. both reader and taesan dance competitively. a little jealousy. not proofread. pairing. taesan x fem!reader. wc. 1.1k. request. requested by anon for #6: "I realized why I couldn't stand you; I can't stop loving you and it's driving me crazy." a/n. this was only supposed to be like 500 words what happened... idk like the dance rival plot just appeared in my head so i was like okay lets go w that USUALLY WRITING FOR TAESAN IS RLY HARD SO IM GLAD THIS FIC WAS KINDA THE OPPOSITE SDJKS net. @onedoornet

Dongmin was your biggest rival in everything. Whether it was in school or at dance competitions, you would always be fighting for who would place first. You had a lot of respect for Dongmin, although your blood boiled whenever you placed second to him. Before he showed up, first place already had your name written on it before you even showed up to competitions. Your title as the ace was in limbo the second the raven haired boy showed his face.

You did well in school to make your parents happy, and were lucky enough to be able to place first without trying too hard. As long as you studied the material, your brain would do the rest. Dance was a different field, though. It was one of the only things that hadn’t come naturally to you as a child. Your parents were proud of you for sticking with something hard, hoping that you’d learn to persevere even when things were tough. When you eventually got to the top of your class in all dance areas as well, your parents were at a standstill. The appearance of Dongmin was celebrated by them, but not by you.

Worst of all, your parents were friends with his, and whether it was studying together or driving to dance class, they made sure your schedules were always intertwined. You saw the boy more than you saw your own friends. It was insufferable. You hated the way he smirked at you whenever he placed first, taunting you with those perfectly shaped eyebrows raising just slightly. You hated how he licked his lips, testing your self composure by making them look so inviting. And you hated his nickname for you; princess.

The week had been unpleasant all around. Dongmin had gone to extra dance classes in the morning, leaving you to get to school on your own. At first you had been excited at the idea— finally getting a break from the boy after months. Now you realized that having him next to you was better than seeing him at a distance. Your eyes couldn’t seem to leave him as you picked at your school lunch, eyeing him down like a hawk from across the cafeteria.

Why in the world was he talking to Minju and smiling? Your chopsticks almost snapped with how harsh you were holding them.

The situation only got worse that evening, as Dongmin had booked a slot at the studio to practice his solo, whereas you were left at home to study for a test which you already knew you would ace. You barely wrote anything in your notes, ending up spacing out instead, your phone open to Dongmin’s chat. You hated how you couldn’t get your mind off of him.

Your brain suddenly clicked, a sudden realization crashing down on you that you had never even considered before. And with your mind racing and impulsivity coursing through your veins, you grabbed your phone and rushed out of the house in the direction of the dance studio.

It was late in the night and only a couple rooms were in use, one of which was studio 8: where you could hear the music blasting for Dongmin’s solo. You didn’t bother knocking before entering the room, immediately catching the attention of a very surprised Dongmin.

“Hey, what are you doing here—“ 

“I need to tell you something.” You said simply. Dongmin gave you a questioning glance, but switched off the music regardless, grabbing a drink of water and a cloth to wipe his sweat. 

“You couldn’t have just told me over text or something?” He asked.

“No, I need to tell you in person.” 

Dongmin crossed his arms, taking a couple steps towards you, “Alright. Go ahead and say it, princess.” 

You took a breath, “I realized why I couldn’t stand you for all those months.” That caught Dongmin’s attention more than you storming into the practice room. He waited for you to continue speaking, eyes glued to your face.

“I can’t stop loving you and it’s driving me crazy.” You completed, daring to look up at his face, watching for his reaction.

You expected disgust or maybe his signature smirk to adorn his face like countless times before. He would probably enjoy having another way to beat you. But instead, shock and slight confusement showed on his face, a twinge of hope behind those ebony eyes. He took a tentative step forward, more hesitant than his previous ones, closing the rest of the distance between you and him. 

“You love me?” He questioned, trying to get his brain to process what you had just said. It was so unbelievable— especially coming from you. Dongmin had tried to get your attention for months. When his efforts only led to you getting mad, he had thought about giving up. But the rivalry kept your attention on him, and he quickly learned to accept that he might not have a chance with you, but he would still give it a valiant effort. 

You were the only girl he had ever crushed on, and he hadn’t anticipated that it would throw him headfirst into a lovesick disease that he couldn’t cure. You were both the poison and the antidote. Every day you plagued his mind, all efforts he tried to erase your pretty face out of his head failing. It was the fact that you were so close yet just out of reach that Dongmin couldn’t handle. He wanted you, needed you, for so many months. And now, finally, you were confessing to him.

“I-it’s stupid. I’ve hated you every single day since you first showed up. But, I can’t get you out of my head. Just get out of my head, please.” You whispered the last part in desperation, suffering from the very same lovesickness that Dongmin had endured for months. 

His eyes softened looking at you, but he shook his head, “I’ve tried for months to get you to think about me. I’m not gonna leave now.” He took hold of your wrist, pulling you forward so your face was mere centimetres away from his. His eyes asked for permission from you, eyeing your lips and eyes until you gave him a slight nod. He didn’t waste a second diving in, finally fulfilling what he had longed for since the first time he met you.

And it didn’t disappoint. The softness of your lips was just as he had imagined, and they fit perfectly with his, as if you were made for him. You— perfect face, perfect dance, perfect grades, perfect everything— had finally found your fatal flaw: falling for your rival. But maybe it wasn’t such a disastrous miscalculation on your part. Maybe you and Dongmin were destined to be from the start.

↳ boynextdoor taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @rizzshimura,, @captivq,, @icyminghao,, @eternalgyu,, @metalchick529,,

@schmocolateschmchip,, @kpoprhia,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @blossominghunnie,,

@kangtaehyunzzz,, @snowflakemoon3,, @lovialy,, @lecheugo,, @okshu,,

@wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,, @emmylksblog,,

@talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,, @cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,,

@hrtsvivis,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @kristianities

[dovveri]

the candy man

synopsis: your girlfriend has convinced you to stay in and watch scary movies for halloween

warnings: its fluff but its also halloween so mentions of scary movies, murder, poisoning etc.

w/c: 2.7k

a/n: i despise halloween AND horror movies never seen one in my life aside from coraline and that took me like 6 tries to get thru the whole thing and i didnt do it until like… this year but id watch a horror movie for sana i GUESS 🙄

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°

"have you heard of the candy man?"

"...no."

"in 1974 ronald clark o'bryan took his son out trick or treating and managed to slip in some sherbet into his son's candy bag. then when they got home and his son asked him if he could have some candy before bed he said sure and picked out the sherbet stick and gave it to his son. instead of sherbet though, it was cyanide and his son died not long after."

sana gives you a look from the tv to where you're bundled up under the blanket fort you've built in your shared living room.

"what?"

"do you think i'm going to poison you?" she giggles, coming to join you and shuffling around so you're sharing the blanket. she pokes your side in fun.

"no... but..."

"but?"

"sanaaaaa do we have to watch this? you know i hate scary movies!"

sana laughs, squeezing in even tighter against you, "it's halloween! show a little holiday spirit!"

"i hate halloween!"

"because of the candy man?"

you pout, "yes..."

"why would he go after you? actually why did he kill his own son?"

"he was in debt and wanted to claim life insurance on his son."

sana hums, pretending to think, "you have life insurance right babe?"

"sana!"

she laughs again, kissing your cheek even as you try and dodge it, huffing. she pokes at your cheek with a grin, "i'll protect you from all the candy men out there don't worry."

"you're a stick you won't be able to protect me from anything-"

"hey!"

"-like if ghostface came after us right now you'd probably trip and fall onto their knife yourself before you could even try to protect me."

"that's it." you feel her hands dive for your sides, tickling immediately, crawling on top of you when you scramble back to try and get away laughing, hands coming down to try and find hers to stop her, but she's persistent, yanking them away and continuing her assault on your sides.

"sana- stop- haha- stop- i can't- sana!-"

"you still think i'm helpless? can you get away from me now?"

"no that's- what are you going to- haha- tickle them to death-?"

"oh you're really pushing it aren't you-"

her hands start sliding down your sides, grabbing your legs and feet and then resuming her assault on the bottoms of your feet. you squirm, kicking trying to move away, still laughing uncontrollably, the blanket fort coming undone.

"stop- stop- yield! i give up- you can protect me- i give up!"

sana finally lets go of your feet, laughing and coming back up to kiss you. you wrinkle your nose and push her away by the shoulders, "go wash your hands you just touched my feet."

"you planning on sucking my fingers or something?"

"what?! sana!" you blush bright red while she runs away, still laughing brightly, the sound filling the little apartment you shared. you roll your eyes at her antiques, cheeks still flushed while you rearrange the fort and snacks, waiting for her to come back.

she grins, jumping on top of you as soon as she's finished, cuddling into you immediately and grabbing the remote.

"ready?" she looks up at you, eyes sparkling.

"no." you grumble, pulling the blanket up to your nose, ready to duck behind it at any moment.

she giggles, kissing your cheek and pressing play.

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°

you come to realise that your girlfriend is a terrible person to watch a horror movie with.

it's bad enough that you're scared shitless at every scene, jumpscare or not, but sana was a screamer. for fun.

“is it over?”

“babe nothing’s happening!”

you refuse to peek up from behind the blanket after your latest scare. sana had jumped up from her seat from out of nowhere, nothing had been happening on screen, she had only wanted to scare you. and it worked. you had screamed and clung to her, shutting your eyes and feeling yourself nearly go into cardiac arrest.

she had laughed, letting you down gently and had even taken a picture of your teary-eyed face in glee, saving the photo and cuddling back into you as if nothing had happened.

“i don’t believe you.”

“i’m sorry you’re just too cute not to mess with. i promise i won’t do it again though. pleeeease? come out?”

you grunt, weak to her, slipping the blanket just a little lower so half an eye is squinting at her grinning face.

“yay!” she kisses your forehead, hugging your neck and squishing your cheeks together even through the blanket.

you roll your eyes, “no screaming.”

sana gapes at you, “i can’t control that!”

“control it.”

“i can’t!”

you sulk down, muttering to yourself incomprehensibly, telling yourself there was only an hour left of this, you could do this, you could avoid getting a heart attack.

“i don’t even know what’s going on right now. this movie makes no sense!”

“shh! they’re about to go into the cabin!”

“but why! why would they do that! that’s so stupid oh my god they’re all going to die-“

“shh!”

you sit back after being shushed again, staring blankly at the screen while the college students shove each other trying to get each other to go into the haunted cabin first.

creak.

your heart stops, a cold sweat building up.

“s-sana- sana-“ you poke your girlfriend, eyes flicking around the room in terror.

she shushes you again, completely focused on the tv screen.

“sana- did you hear that?” you’re whispering, tugging on her sleeve, trying to get her attention.

“hear what?” her eyes are still locked on the screen, only giving you half her attention.

okay if your girlfriend didn't hear it than maybe it wasn't anything to worry about. you were just being paranoid. this was exactly one of the reasons why you didn't want to watch horror movies on the night of halloween.

the tv crackles and then goes out.

sana blinks, looking at you in confusion before standing up to go check the tv.

the fairy lights you have strung up around the room go out as well.

you can't help the whimper you let out, cuddling further into the blanket fort.

sana checks the powerpoints as well, humming in confusion, still not completely fearful for your lives like you were.

"it's probably just a power outage in the building babe don't worry." she comes back to the couch and tries to peel the blanket away from you.

"what if it's not?" you squeak out, still speaking in whispers.

sana turns on her phone flashlight and shines it towards you, you squint up at her.

she thinks you're too cute, coming in and pinching your cheeks, "are you scaaaaaaaared?"

"yes sana! because you decided you wanted to watch a horror movie on halloween!"

sana laughs, plopping down next to you, "i can protect you."

"we already established you can't."

"uh i'm pretty sure you conceded actually."

"whatever can you just call the neighbours? see if they're having the same problem?" you curl into her side as she laughs at you, turning off her flashlight to conserve battery and opening her call logs.

you keep your attention on your surroundings while she dials the neighbours' numbers.

"-alright thanks again! yeah you too haha happy halloween! okay babe it looks like it might just be our apartment but don't worry, i'll get the electrician to come in tomorrow and we should be fine. it can even be kinda romantic if we light some candles and all!"

"romantic or ritualistic?"

"well what kinda ritual are we wanting to perform?" she wriggles her eyebrows obscenely and you can't help but giggle, poking her forehead.

"as long as you don't summon a demon."

"not even a succubus?"

"sana!"

she laughs, standing back up to go and get the candles, "do you wanna come with? or can i leave my little baby for 2 seconds and come back with the candles?"

you honestly would've preferred to go with her but after that comment you pout, slinking back into your fort, "i'll be fine." you say curtly, not bothering to look at her and making it known you weren't happy with her teasing.

she only laughs and kisses your forehead again, which you try and dodge, before walking out of the living room to grab the matches and lights.

you shiver a little when you feel a wind breeze through as soon as she leaves, drawing the blanket closer towards you.

there's another creaking sound and you freeze.

"sana?" you call out, praying it was just sana walking around the apartment.

then there's a loud crash and you're up on your feet, heart pounding, "sana!" you call out again, maybe she just fell over something. yeah it was dark, she couldn't see, she was naturally clumsy, that made sense, she probably just fell over something. but why wasn't she responding?

you're deciding between following her into the kitchen or staying put when you feel a brush of... something on the back of your calf.

you yelp, jumping up onto the couch. this was fine, it was probably just a bit of the blanket blowing in the wind.

wait. the wind? why was the window open?

you gulp, nervously looking towards the window at the end of the hallway towards your bedroom, seeing that it was in fact wide open and the night's breeze was flowing in.

"sana if this is you it's not funny!" you huff, jumping back off the couch and stomping towards the open window, slamming it shut. if there were any ghosts or whatever, not that you believed in ghosts, surely the sound would scare them off.

you march back towards the living room, still draped in the couch blanket, determined not to let anything else scare you. it was all the cheap horror film aftereffects anyway, if this had happened any other night you would've been fine. absolutely fine. except tonight was halloween... and halloween was the one night of the year that it was okay to dress up as serial killers and creepy supernatural things and no one would bat an eye if someone was drenched in real blood running from a real murder or whatever. but it was fine! you were in your apartment, with your girlfriend, and you were totally safe. it was fine. everything was fine. why was sana taking so long?!

"sana?! are you okay?"

there’s no response again so you have no choice but to check on her. the apartment wasn’t big enough that you could shout and she wouldn’t be able to hear you.

you pull yourself up, treading towards the kitchen, mindful of any noises and squinting in the dark, trying to see if you can make out your girlfriend.

“sana?” you try call out again, frowning. maybe she just went over to the neighbours to ask for candles, she certainly wasn’t in the apartment if she wasn’t responding. you decide to go back to your phone and try call her, when you hear a creaking sound again.

you freeze, adrenaline spiking, body moving before you can think, stepping towards the sound in the hallway towards the entrance to your apartment.

you can hear your own breaths, heavy, feel the sweat on the back of your neck.

“BOO!”

you scream, flinging yourself towards the door in an attempt to run away when arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back. you continue screaming and kicking against them, tunnel vision locking onto your front door and nothing else, your fight or flight mechanism going haywire.

“-n y/n it’s okay it’s me it’s me!”

your girlfriend’s voice confuses you, but gets you to come to your senses quickly, ears taking in more sound, eyes taking in more light.

“s-sana?” your voice is shaky, on the verge of tears.

“i’m here baby i’m here.”

“w-what- w-where are you speaking from?”

“um… look up.”

you pause, tilting your head up towards the ceiling, where your girlfriend is strung up like spiderman in the dark. you’re so confused. you can make out her sheepish smile when the arms around you loosen.

“um… why are you- what are you doing?”

“um… this is- uh- this was all momo’s idea!”

the person behind you gasps, “no it wasn’t!”

you spin, taking in sana’s best friend who was dressed like a burglar, the person who had jumpscared you.

“okay it was mine but i didn’t think you would get that scared!”

you gape, mouth opening and closing, dumbfounded.

“a-are you okay? i didn’t break you did i? are you mad? i’m sorry baby i’ll make it up to you!”

“no i- just- what are you doing on the ceiling?”

“uhhh… i was going to spiderman rescue you and spiderman upside down kiss you… it was meant to be romantic!”

“how did you get on the ceiling?”

“momo helped.”

you look at the other girl who shrugs, smiling awkardly.

“do you- can you get down from there?”

“yeah! watch!”

she loosens something around her hips and comes swinging down from the ceiling, almost smacking right into you before she’s pulled back.

she turns on the light with a grin, looking absurd in a harness (not the sexy kind) and elastics she must have stolen from that free trial rock climbing session she suspiciously went to on her own and refused your company for.

“can i go now?”

sana laughs, undoing herself from the contraption she’s set up in your front entrance hallway, “yeah momoring thanks for the help. pick the restaurant and it’ll be my treat next week like i promised.

momo brightens immediately, popping a candy into her mouth and waving goodbye before skipping out the apartment to steal more trick or treat candies laid out in the apartment block.

you’re still stuck on the spot, staring at your impossible girlfriend as she struggles collecting the metres of elastic on the floor.

“sana��”

she looks up at you brightly with a smile, “yes?”

“sana i’m going to kill you.”

she frowns, standing up fully, “why?”

“sana!”

“what?!”

“you know i hate halloween!”

“i wanted to make it a better holiday for you!”

“and you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

you feel the adrenaline leaving your body as you slouch, tears coming forward from all the stress and anxiety.

sana’s eyes widen, dropping the elastics in her hand and rushing forward, cupping your cheeks, “oh no baby i’m sorry i didn’t mean to please- it’s okay i’m here now nothing’s gonna get you-“

you pout, rubbing at your eyes furiously, not wanting to cry at something that was meant to be fun, “i was worried about you.”

sana wipes your cheeks with her thumbs, “i know baby i’m sorry i won’t do this again i promise, next halloween we’re gonna stay in with all the lights on and watch my little pony okay?”

you nod, feeling very much like you deserved the baby treatment right now, “promise?”

“i promise i promise.”

you bury your head in her shoulder, squeezing her against you and breathing in her comforting scent.

after a little bit of calming down, you slap her shoulder, “i still hate you. you’re gonna have to make up for trying to pull this prank. it was so not funny!”

“ow! okay okay i will! and please don’t say that. can i get an i love you now? you can’t hate me baby…”

you pout into her neck, hitting her again lightly, “only if you don’t tease me anymore for being scared.”

“i won’t!”

“and get us ice cream from that store across town.”

“…like… right now?”

“they do delivery.”

she sighs dramatically, “fine, fine, can i hear it now?”

you pull back, smiling, “i love you even if you’re a terrible girlfriend who tried to fake rescue me from my worst nightmare.”

she beams brightly at your face again, devoid of tears, kissing you sweetly and knocking her forehead gently against yours, “i love you too my big scaredy cat.”

“sana!”

“i’m sorry no more now i promise!”

[bbokicidal]

could I request smth with chan and you wanting a child but you can't/won't be pregnant (could be fertility issues or just not wanting to get pregnant, whatever) and so you ask ab adoption? all the child fics I see always include the reader getting pregnant and I just wanted to see your opinion on the other side. if you're not comfortable, please don't hesitate to delete this! thank you, and I love your writing sooo much!!!

Thank you for the request! I'm actually really excited to write this, haha.

Warnings : Angst at the beginning, mentions of Chan being infertile, fluff at the end.

Adopting A Child w/ BF!BangChan

It had been so heartbreaking; Trying over and over to get pregnant in hopes that you would wake up some day, take a test, and receive the best news of your life from a little pink and white stick. Unfortunately, through the over ten times you had tried, nothing had come through. The first few tries, Chan had hugged you from behind and reassured you that sometimes things didn't go the way you wanted right away - you could keep trying and he was sure something would come about.

But even Chan's hopes had dwindled a bit by the eighth try.

A few more - nothing.

The thirteenth time was enough for you to feel your heart cracking into pieces. You'd dropped the test into the bin near the door, entering the living room while he raised his head where he sat. He knew it was another fail, gesturing you closer with his arm and wrapping it tight around you when you settle into his side on the sofa.

"It's not going to happen," You whisper, lifting a hand to rub over your eyes as tears pool. Chan hushes you immediately, pressing kiss after kiss to your forehead and smoothing your hair back so he could properly see you tucked against him.

"Don't say that," He hums out, giving you a little squeeze. "We'll just keep trying. We're going to get through this together, we'll figure it out."

And though you nod against his shoulder, he could tell in the following days that you were pulling away. You would shy away from his advances in fear that it would just be another heartbreak and he could understand why. He wouldn't ever force you to try it again with him if you had made up your mind that enough was enough.

He could understand how heartbroken you were, because he felt the exact same way. He would tuck himself against the bathroom door some nights, one hand pressed over his eyes and the other tucked down against his side as if wanted to hit or punch something to get out the frustration from crying.

Chan had decided to take matters into his own hands and see if something was wrong with him, and he was right about it. The suspicions that it wasn't your fault you weren't getting pregnant and that instead, it was his body that was faulty. He'd nodded and twisted his fingers in his lap as the man in a white coat explained to him that he wouldn't be able to have children for... probably as long as he lived. It was unfortunate, and he just nodded and gave a tense, sad smile to the man as he left, accepting the condolences.

He'd made his way home with a heavy heart, unlocking the apartment door and stepping in with papers that explained why all of your tries had been failing. Turning on the light to a startled gasp, his head whips to where you sit at the table with your laptop open and a few papers in front of you.

"Chan," You whisper, a shaky smile overtaking your face. "You should look at this. It's-- It's an adoption agency I've been looking into for the last few days. They've got great reviews and a lot of happy families come from them - I was wondering if you--"

He moves over to the table and drops his own papers on the seat of a chair nearby, forgotten already as he peered at the screen. An adoption agency - Why hadn't he considered adopting sooner? "You want to adopt a child..?" He whispers, looking to your sparkling eyes. You'd definitely seemed set on it already, nodding to him and smiling in hopes he would agree.

"Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. We can look into it."

-

The house inspection was easier than cutting a cake and now, the next step was meeting the child you would be adopting. A woman from the agency had contacted you a few days prior and said she'd found the perfect fit for you two, seeming beyond excited to have the two of you meet the child.

The woman now stood on your doorstep, greeting you as polite and sweet as usual. Chan had rounded out of the kitchen to come greet the woman as well, his eyes falling all too quickly to the little pair of legs behind the woman.

A small girl, no older than five, had hid behind the woman and shyly followed her into your apartment. The woman gently pulled the girl from behind her and she was about as perfect as could be with tight brown curls and doe eyes that could rival even Felix. She looked up to the two of you before quietly following everyone around the home. You'd made an effort to gesture to the room that would soon be hers, showing her the pink bedsheets and toys in the corner.

And Chan had done the same, showing the little girl a dresser already full of clothes for her and even taking out a few dresses for her to see. She reaches out, tiny fingers touching his hand before gently holding onto the dress to take it from him. Her eyes meet his and she hums out a quiet, shy, "These are mine?" only to melt your heart when the soft accent in her tone is identical to her father's.

"All yours, sweetheart." He coos, watching as her eyes light up in adoration. She moves forward slowly and wraps her arms around his neck, his own cautiously closing around her and holding her to him before standing to carry her around the rest of the house and show her the rest of what would soon be her home.

In the next few days after the adoption was officially finalized and the little girl came to your home for good, the three of you had settled up on the sofa in a mess of blankets and a bowl of popcorn to watch Disney movies.

And peering over at the scene of Chan feeding the little girl popcorn as she reclines against him with her eyes glued to the TV screen, you can't help but feel that this was absolutely the best decision you'd ever made.

[bunny-jpeg]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ smokin' - toto w. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

toto knew he should quit. he had seen enough of the pamphlets in doctor's offices and read enough to know, smoking kills. and at his age, he needed to be bit healthier. he worked out, and ate well, but sometimes, after a hard race, there was nothing like a pack of cigarettes in his hand and somewhere to sit down. let the nicotine flood his rattled senses and having a nice relaxing evening. it was almost nostalgic, he remembered when the red of marlboro's logo was all over the jackets and cars of formula one. now replaced with sports drinks. while he wasn't smoking a pack of day to lazily have one or two felt nice, letting the smoke fill his lungs even if it occasionally made him cough. he felt like he was trying too hard if he tried vaping to get the same fix. like a desperate attempt to be 'young', so he stuck to the cancer sticks. plus if he quit smoking, then he'd have to stop participating in his favourite punishment. keeping an ash tray balanced on your back.

you had been a bad girl. you knew it. it was a 'crime' that you knew would be found out. someone stole their daddy's credit card and racked up a healthy charge all in one day. toto knew he promised you the world, but, you can't take what isn't yours. toto liked rules, he liked to make sure that you were following them. he couldn't have you on bad behavior, it would look poorly on him. that he couldn't keep his alarmingly younger girlfriend in line, that wasn't the association that someone like toto wanted. so while he didn't return the items you bought, you'd have to pay him back somehow. which meant enduring a punishment. which meant him seated on the couch, lounging with a cigarette in his hand, getting his fix after a particularly rough weekend. and you, naked, save for the necklace with his name on it around your throat. the name torger almost dangled in the low light of the living room. the smell of cigarette smoke filled the air. right now you were nothing more than a piece of furniture made to hold his expensive ashtray. "don't drop it, schatzi." toto's voice was low, "worth quite a bit. probably more than that little house you grew up in." he exhaled smoke, "look at me." you looked over to him, being on your hands and knees for so long made you a little shaky. your arms felt like jelly and you knew your knees were rubbed raw. toto smiled a little, the kind of dangerous smile that made something run through you. it excited you and made you hot. you said, "please, daddy." and toto shook his head, "the punishment was until i finished this. the worse behaved you are, the longer this will take." you swallowed and kept your gaze on him, there was something some domineering about him. it was almost scary. he was the big man in charge, the team principal. and while he made all the decisions, you just had to be by his side and behave. but, you couldn't even do that. you watched him took another drag of his smoke and you rubbed your thighs together, everything burned from the position you were in. toto spoke once more, "i give you the world and you still want more. you should be know better by now, meine prinzessin." he leaned forward a little bit and got some of the ash off of his smoke into the ashtray, "you're a smart girl, no? if you're not smart, you are at least well behaved. but even now i am questioning that." you shook your head and looked down at the hardwood floor, "no daddy, i'm good. i promise." you bit the inside of your cheek, "please." toto sighed and exhaled smoke, "schatzi. i am trying to believe you, but it's hard."

the money was nothing, honestly he found it amusing. it was barely anything in the grand scheme of things, under four hundred dollars. barely a scratch in toto's finances. but to watch you whimper and whine, well, that was worth more than anything. but, toto had rules. he was the head of the relationship, the one who took care of you, and while it wasn't cheap, he expected for things to be followed. another drag and he eyed your quivering form. he knew you liked this, if he moved a little he could see your soaked pussy. you got off to being toto's little toy, used for his pleasure. it made him thankful tha the found you before someone with worst intentions got their claws into you first. you were too sweet at times, it all mixed in perfectly with your brattiness. "i'm starting to think you like this. you like getting into trouble. did someone not have rules when they were young? didn't get the attention from your real daddy." his tone was harsh. he saw you quiver a little more, he must've struck a nerve, "poor little princess didn't get the love she wanted, how sad. i bet daddy was too busy with everyone else and left no time for you." he knew your history inside and out, he even met your father. he knew that any psychologist would have a field day if they took one look at you and him. a younger girl who wanted an older man to take care of her. and an older man with a thirst for younger women who didn't like being asked difficult questions.

"but don't worry, schatzi. that's why i'm here. to make it all better."

when he was finished with the cigarette, toto purposefully missed the ash tray and put it out on the small of your back. you whimpered and bucked your hips, toto was quick enough to grab the glass ashtray before you made more of a mess. "schatzi." he said, "you need to be careful." and he saw the burn on your back. it made a deep part of him very excited at the sight of you. maybe next time your skin should be his ash tray, litter would unblemished skin with the burns of cigarettes. "please daddy." you gasped, you ended up with your cheek against the floor. unable to hold much longer, and now with the burn on your back. it all flooded your head. toto put the ash tray on the coffee table and said, "if you want to finish yourself off, princess. you better do it yourself. you've become lazy because i do everything for you. if you want to feel better, you have to do it yourself. you're a big girl." he watched you swallow before you put your hand between your thighs and rubbed your achy clit. your cheek still against the floor with your hips raised, your back as sloped as you pleasured yourself.

"please, daddy." you whined as you pleasured yourself. the smell of smoke filled your brain and while it made you scrunch your nose at the heavy scent. you continued to make yourself feel good. you panted heavily like a dog as you rubbed your clit against the side of your hand. your other hand was on the floor. you tensed up, your hand covered in your wetness as you whined and whimpered. toto was hard in his slacks, but he was a man of control. unlike you. you were whiny and loud, your pants heavy while your squirmed against your own touch. while toto would've been happy to seat you on his cock. maybe even have another cigarette while he used your pretty breasts as an ashtray, you needed to learn your lesson. so either you got yourself off, or you'd be left sexually frustrated. he said to you, his voice a rumble that made a shiver run through you, "spoiled little girl. you had me convinced, now you've become spoiled. but." he shifted in his spot on the couch. leaned for a little bit to get a better view of your body, "i am more than happy to train you all over again. it's almost the summer break, which means, it will just be you and i. i wonder how many marks i can leave on you. go to the dutch grand prix with my marks on you inside and out. might turn a few heads." his words made pleasure flood your core, "maybe a collar. even a leash so i could tie you somewhere and no have you get lost." he sighed, "you always wander off. he watched you pleasure yourself and the sight was erotic. it wasn't long before your moans were tight and your body was tense like a bow. you looked beautiful, blissed out beside toto not even fucking you. with a few more drags of your hand across your clit, you came and then you ended up fully flat on the floor. your brain felt elsewhere and your body felt the weight of an orgasm across your achy joints. your tongue was even stuck out a little as you tried to center your thoughts once more.

toto chuckled lightly before he got up off the couch and went to you. you got a view of the bulge in his slacks before his face, you tried to get yourself up to undo his belt. but instead he grabbed you by the hair. he looked at you as he said, "i don't fuck on the floor like an animal. your punishment isn't over, but you should be lucky i'll even fuck you on a bed." and you, the good girl you were, nodded to your daddy. you words were simple as you got up, "yes daddy." <3

a/n: i lost control of the keyboard

[threepandas]

Bad End: Trust

"Meet your new mates, cargo! Get breeding!"

I didn't understand the bellowed noises at the time. It was just incoherent gibberish. Heaped on top of what was likely a concussion, mixed with what ever drugs they had pumped me with. Thrown into a cell, roughly, and hitting the ground hard. I couldn't have caught myself if I had wanted too. My limbs, unresponsive and dragging meat, that I could barely FEEL.

Please, god, I had thought. Don't let me be paralyzed. Not on top of everything else.

They'll kill me.

Behind and around me, the weeping cries of sorrow and fear rang out. Screams of violence, born of desperation. Countless races, bound together, suffering in this hell. Newly enslaved. I didn't... I couldn't understand. Shaking and struggling to remain conscious, laying on the blood stained floor. The world swayed violently. It was all I could do, to barely keep from passing out.

It was so cold. The air, the floor, the deep and clawing despair, sinking like knives into my gut. Those furry... things, had grabbed me while I was alone, before I could react. W-would anyone notice? Could anyone DO anything? I wanted to get away from the door. Curl up in a corner and... and cry. But I could not move. Like a doll, dropped thoughtlessly on the floor, I could not... could not move.

Tears I likely could not afford, threatened to choke me.

I... I was scared.

Then, deeper in the hovel that was my new home, movement. The heavy clink of chains. Shifting, slow and careful, followed by the drag of metal. A warm hand. Fingers, calloused but careful, checking my neck. My pulse, for injury perhaps, I couldn't tell. But... god, i could have sobbed in relief. They... they felt human.

How terrible of me. That I was GLAD not to be alone. T-That it was relief, to have another person here. Someone who might know what's going on. What to do. To.. to stick with. I... I should wish it was just me, right? That they captured no one else? But... oh god. O-Oh God, I can't! I'm scared. Please. P-please...

I'm so scared.

The person checking me hummed low and soft. Their voice crackling like an old radio that's been left sitting on a shelf too long, unused. How.. how long has it been? Since they last had anyone to talk too? They sounded male, but.. but I didn't want to presume. Could just have a low voice. Throat injury. Might be Trans. I didn't care, couldn't care. I was pretty sure? We were all we had now.

They... no, He, found nothing alarming enough not to move me. Shifting into view as he gently slipped his arms under me. Enough to pick me up and carry me away from the door. He was... is... pretty handsome.

Okay, REALLY handsome.

Horrifically enough? I could see WHY they grabbed him. Athletic as hell, TV ready, really smart. If you were going to ignore ever bit of decency and morality to ever exsist? Might as well go for the best, I guess. Don't know why they grabbed ME, but I guess? They need a stand in or something? Or my predecessor is dead.

(God, I hope she's dead. The alternative...)

Pretty quickly became apparent, though, that one of the main problems (of so, SO many)? Was we don't actually speak the same language. Which... I mean... Well, shit. That's, putting it mildly, "less then ideal". Being unable to communicate with the only other person nominally on "My Side"? Kinda bad! But, I AM learning. And I am teaching him english! So there's that.

We have nothing but time, after all. It helps distract from the suffering just outside. The weeping and screams. The sounds that must be begging, in alien dialects. All the mercies they do not find.

(Is it terrible? That I am glad I can not understand what they are saying? Their cries for help? I can't help them. It hurts. Helpless to even save my self. God, I'm sorry. Please... I'm... I'm so sorry...)

Food gets shoved in. Lights flipped on. Lights shut off. The timer odd, but probably standard for somewhere. It's like being told to go to sleep halfway through the afternoon. Yanked awake before full nights are done. I struggle to adapt, even a little, following my fellow prisoner's lead. Or, well, trying too. There's a lot of charades at first.

Then, practicing our languages. Taking what naps and cuddling for warmth we can. Harsh lights be damned. It's cold, we're tired, but we have to keep our strength up. Right? Throughout it all, I try to ignore the weird smells they pump in. Still not used to getting random scents blasted at my head from above, from the air vents in the walls.

Day in, day out, rinse and repeate. The weird gasses smells like people have had sex, to be honest. I think? But don't quote me. They might be trying to get us to "mate", like animals, so they can sell our kids. Induce some nonexistent human heat cycle or something. I've kinda started to worry, not gonna lie, about what they'll do... you know, once they finally get frustrated. Figure out, we don't work like that.

Or... more relevantly, might not even be? Compatible?

Cause Azenari is DEFINITELY not a human. They fucked uuuup. Cause if he is? There is some probably serious divergent evolution going on. He did NOT get nabbed from Earth. HE got nabbed from his SHIP(as in, yeah, a fuckin Space Ship). Because HIS people are space faring! The man has pointy ears for fucks sake! Some seriously fangy canines. And while, yeah, seriously kinda cool? No idea if our species are related, or... you know...

So yeah, The Fur Covered Slaver Bastards are apparently Humanoid face blind, on TOP of being just generally terrible. Or dumb! Might be dumb, honestly. Wouldn't put it past them. Banality of evil and all that. But recently? There was a... tension. Something was coming. The Bastards seemed twitchy.

"Not long now, beloved. We're two stops from the extraction ambush." Azenari murmured, from where he was tucked loosely around me as I watch the latest patrol pass, one arm cradling me tight. Even as, with the other hand, he sleepily stroked my back. "You'll look lovely in proper robes. You deserve finery, my love."

I couldn't understand most of the sentence. Normally he simplified for me, since I was still learning. He seemed... pleased? Smug? The more tense and twitchy the Bastards got, the more darkly amused he seemed to become. As though he knew exactly why. As though he was laughing inside.

"My magnificent darling, you'll belong to me in everyway that matters. I'll take safer jobs. No more slave ring stings. I promise."

Oh. I think I got it. Azenari though of me as family! Yeah, that tracked. Trauma bonding and all. I did too. Couldn't help but smile, hugging him back, much to his clear delight. Yeah. We were in this together.

I'm glad I had someone I could trust. The universe was big and I would be pretty much alone without him. All but thrown at his feet and told I was his, Azenari had every chance to hurt me. But he didn't. He was a good man. Solid and stable when everything when frightening, warm and there when I needed to hide.

Really, it was only a matter of time before we would be chatting like old friends!

"You are NEVER going to escape me, beloved."

"I Love You."

[merakiui]

a few halloweenie details i think are fun and silly:

✧ you drag rollo clothes and lingerie shopping just so no one will bother you or try to talk to you. and he just naturally looks like your boyfriend because he insists on holding all your bags and sticking close (none of these stores are for him): "if i don't, you'll set them wherever you please and someone might steal them. it's better if i hold them to avoid that." (he cares.)

✧ you and rollo share a car, and the majority of the car's issues (stains on the seat, crack in windshield, broken door handle, etc) can be attributed to you. ^^;;; rollo is hesitant to lend you the car, but you beg and plead with him and it gets annoying, so he relents.

✧ gidel can very clearly see the romantic tensions between you and skully, so it's no coincidence he often pulls the two of you to the back so you can unbox merchandise together. (thank you for your service, gidel.)

✧ you steal cheap cosmetics from the SFX section in fellow's shop, and he only allows it because you are (unfortunately for him) an essential worker to this operation. 😔 he can't fire you because who else is going to turn a blind eye to his dubious business practices?

✧ skully is always worried you're going to fall in love with your roommate. rollo assures him that will never happen. he later writes an entry about it in his jack skellington diary titled: excellent news!!!!!!!! :D

✧ fellow has worked with these losers (affectionate) long enough that he feels comfortable enough to let down just a sliver of his showman façade. it goes right back up the minute you try asking for a raise, though. even though it may not seem so at first glance, fellow does care for the lot of you in his own unique ways.

✧ you affectionately call skully "skulls."

✧ you have a little coffin case to keep your cigarettes in and skully thinks it's the most fascinating thing.

✧ skully will do whatever fellow tells him to do because he thinks he's a "good soul with a fluffy heart." you'll never understand why he's such a yes-man when it comes to fellow, but the truth is that if it wasn't for fellow hiring him skully would've never met the people he now calls his friends.

✧ skully writes lots of (erotic) poetry about you and journals his feelings regarding you. everyone just assumes he's writing about tnbc or jack skellington whenever he has his nose in those pages.

✧ you and rollo like to cyberstalk your classmates when you're both on shift and the day is slow. therapy is expensive, but gossiping together is free and fun.

✧ skully thinks it's really hot when you smoke and there's a lipstick ring imprinted around the cigarette when it's pulled from your lips.

✧ gidel drew skully a "(name) affection chart" to mark off skully's progress in successfully wooing you. skully rambles about you a lot when you aren't around, so it didn't take a genius to understand where this was coming from. once, you and rollo had to take off and so it was just fellow and gidel with skully. fellow says he'll never do it again because every chance skully got he was going on about: "i'm just not certain... are we friends? do you think my lovely (name) considers me a dear friend? am i troubling her? i don't cause her trouble, do i?" T_T skully thinks the love chart (which is really just a heart gidel gradually colors in whenever he feels like it) is the best thing ever: "my dear gidel, you're a genius!!! >w<" and gidel is just proud to be praised. >:3 (fellow taught him that one to get skully to hush up with the (name) monologue. ^^;;;)

[starry-bi-sky]

This is very inspired by @minnesota-fats post about Danny being Bruce Wayne's clone (which has been rotting in my brain for two days) but an au where danny isn't just Bruce Wayne's clone, but also not fully a ghost.

both ideas can be used separately honestly, the idea just came to me while thinking about the bruce wayne clone idea, and a lot of this idea is just "danny without his ghost powers. i might probably make a part two that delves into him being bruce wayne's clone.

Hear me out.

A Danny Fenton who has the ghost sense and the fangs and the pointed ears and the scary eyes and an increase ecto-essence, but does not have the ability to "go ghost". His accident occurred when he pressed the "on" button on the outside of the portal, and the button electrocuted him due to faulty wiring. He ends up miraculously surviving but not without some new additional abilities (and electricity-based trauma).

Since Danny no longer has a built-in alter ego with the invert wardrobe to match, he doesn't see the point to take ghosts back to the ghost zone. What the hell can he do anyways? All he has is a cosmetic add-in, a lower body-temperature with an impressive ability to hold his breath longer than a human realistically should, and a built-in ghost detector. Not very helpful if you ask him.

That is, up until he goes into the lab after his parents catch a relatively harmless ghost and sees them vivisecting it. He's horrified. He thought his parents were using hyperbole when he said they'd tear them apart molecule by molecule.

(Granted, he also believed that ghosts were unfeeling up until he saw this random ghost being absolutely terrified for its existence on the table.)

After an argument over his parents harming the ghost, Danny goes back up to his room and refuses to leave, not even for dinner. Later that night after his parents went to sleep, Danny steels his resolve and sneaks back down into the lab and releases the ghost back into the ghost zone.

This happens a handful of times, until, finally, frustrated, Danny tells the latest captured ghost to tell anyone inside that if they even think about coming through, he'll capture them and bring them back to the zone himself. It's for their own safety.

The ghost agrees, and goes back inside. Danny steals a "failed" thermos from his parents' stash of weapons. The next time that a ghost shows up, its the lunch lady from episode one. Danny manages to defeat her without being seen, but knows that if there's gonna be consistent daytime ghost attacks then he can't base his luck around fighting without witnesses.

So he fashions himself with a makeshift outfit. This really only consists of an old, nondescript hoodie and a plain black face mask. Its the best thing he can do at short notice, however. Later, for his nighttime ghost fighting, his outfit is only slightly better.

He considered using one of his parents' lab suits. But white sticks out at night and the material doesn't protect you from road burn. His outfit is pretty homemade, with knee and elbow pads under his clothes and multiple layers. A long sleeve shirt over a hoodie over a black denim vest he found on sale. He later on manages to make brass knuckles ghost-proof and manages to stitch them into his gloves. (he gets very good at sewing).

His favorite part of the entire outfit, is a Casey Jones-style full-face mask he found while thrifting. It allows him better breathability than the face mask he was using (calling Rule Of Cool law here), and he can use his scary eyes to make him look more intimidating. His gloves, his mask, and his thermos are the things he carries around with him constantly, and, later on, wears baggier clothing to hide the fact that he's wearing knee and elbow gear under his clothes.

Did I mention he has long hair? Danny has long hair (because GNC danny ftw, it goes past his shoulders) that he braids back. it's a bit sloppy but it keeps his hair out of his face well enough. He takes the fenton creep stick with him.

(He and Bruce have, ultimately, a more lean build than a bulky one. It helped Bruce with his Brucie Wayne persona big time when he had to look like a pretty skinny boy, he uses body language, optical illusion, and body armor to make himself look bulkier as batman)

He still goes by the name Phantom. He still has a bitter rivalry with his parents, who have no idea that its him. They think he's probably some other ghost with beef with the other ghosts (he still triggers their ghost sensors), and still want to capture him.

He doesn't talk around the living. He doesn't have any fancy voice changer and dropping his voice hurts and ultimately, he just uses ASL if he ever has to talk in front of people. The ghosts know his voice at night, but not during the day.

He hardly talks to the living. He avoids them like the plague actually. When he defeats a ghost and there's an audience, he barely sticks around to have a nice friendly chat. He tries to get away as soon as possible. He's paranoid over people finding out who he is. He doesn't have that ghost form to fall back on here.

Oh god this is getting so long, so i'll post another part soon.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 (Dani interlude) Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.5 (Dan Interlude) Part 8

[konnosaurus]

after all this time working on them, konno finally has humanisations!! just these guys for now but there will indeed be more to come. i've had so much fun with these so i hope that you guys like them :3 they Will be showing up alongside my engine stuff hehe!

i'm gonna stick some design notes under the cut in case anyone is interested!:

thomas:

actually the last of these i designed. as always, i find him Difficult, but i am happy with what i have done :3

the bracelet around his ankle was made by percy- james and percy also have them, just in different places. thomas doesn't like things around his wrists or arms in general (no tight sleeves, either!) so has his on his ankle!

originally the jacket was a non-zipped hoodie but it didn't feel Dynamic enough for him, so i decided to go for the open jacket look. it feels more active- perfect for the cheeky lad himself.

he does know how to tie his laces, he just Cannot Be Bothered.

edward:

this design came the most naturally. i didn't really have to do any second guessing or anything- edward is edward and he just felt like edward to me!

of these seven, he is the only one who wears glasses. he is NOT, however, the only one who needs glasses. gordon, james and emily should heed his advice and get some themselves (they will not.)

originally his trousers were going to be a much darker brown, but the lighter just felt a lot more old-man-comforting which i feel fits his pizazz better.

henry:

henry :3

henry is the sort of person to have a little bag that just contains like,, Anything that one could need in a situation. you require an item? henry has it!

the long skirt was initially alllll the way to the floor, but i wanted to show a bit of boot to make it just,, lightly more practical than a full floor-length one. it is a very swishy skirt.

henry has my favourite face/hair design of them all i just love how poofy the hair is and the little EXPRESSIONNNN!

gordon:

mr professionally dressed!

he wears old man shoes because i can't imagine gordon not wearing old man shoes even though he does not consider himself an old man. someone calls them old man shoes and he goes home and cries.

he's got some Muscle to him- beneath those sleeves he has got the p o w e r. also a bit of chink- not all that much, but he is noticably Wide as well as Tall.

james:

my favourite design for my favourite little lad!

i wanted him to be flashy but not Overly obnoxious- his vest is bright and his jewelry is dramatic but he also has some more muted colours. having a scheme is very important to him- the only thing that breaks it is the friendship bracelet from percy that he has on his wrist.

he has long boots because he would have long boots <3

the red strips in his hair are entirely just because he wants to be more red and more colour coordinated.

percy:

his trousers brush the floor because he is not the tallest and the ones he liked weren't quite the right lengths. so many people he knows could shorten them for him but he actually quite likes them like that.

percy gets freckles just because i wanted him to have them hehehe no other reasoning!

his green is a lot more yellowy and bright than henrys more dull and sappy greens, and his red is a lot deeper than henrys more pinky red.

his bag has his little friendship charm on the buckle. he doesn't wear it as a bracelet like thomas or james do- it stays on his bag because he loves his bag and is never without it.

emily:

despite her engine being a dark green, her main outfit piece (the dungarees) is a lighter green. this is Entirely just because i liked how it looked better.

her boots have detailing meant to be like her great race livery!

emily had one of the easiest outfits for me to design- she just feels like a dungaree sort of gal to me, and i just worked from there! the little gold patterns on her dungaree pocket are meant to reflect the big ol wheel pattern on the stirling single.

and there we have it!

[causeilikelix]

always thinking abt thigh riding with (dom)felix 😭 like his deep ass voice saying degrading and teasing things omg 🧎‍♀️

UGHH yes please I need. He's got such great thighs dlsfkjsdljk

Like it would probably start off innocently enough. He's a sweetheart, as we all know, but that's definitely NOT what he's like when he gets horny.

SMUT under the cut. Minors DNI!

WARNINGS: Hard!Dom Felix (I think?), afab reader, thigh riding, one ass slap, name calling (slut, princess, baby, things of that nature), dacryphilia (?), orgasm denial (?), teeny bit over overstimulation, actions take place in a public place but no one gets caught

Like, maybe you came to visit him at the studio one night because he's practicing late. He's got a concert coming up and he has to practice his solo stage! But he works so hard.

You'd bring him coffee and a snack and you'd just stare at him while he ate. He's all sweaty and his hair is sticking to his face and it's just... so hot (I'm a Black Hair Felix supremacist so that's what I'm imaging lol)

Before you know it, you're crawling over to him and capturing his lips in a kiss. You don't even care that he tastes like coffee and sweat. He grunts into the kiss but kisses you back before you know it.

"Missed me much?" Felix chuckles

"So much." you press warm kisses down his neck.

"Why don't you show me then?" Felix's deep, tired voice made you throb.

You crawl into his lap and he spreads his legs to accommodate you. Your knees on either side of his slim waist, his hands on your ass, the heavy breathing while you make out. It's not long before you're grinding down on his clothed cock.

He shouldn't be so surprised that you want him, he's basically wearing lingerie. Gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Fuck, you want to stain them so that he's reminded of you every time he looks at them for the rest of the night.

"Get on my thigh, princess," Felix commands as if he can hear your thoughts. You follow his wishes and straddle one of his thighs. He pushes your skirt up and tsks at you. "You didn't come here just to bring me food, did you? What kind of slut wears this sorry excuse for underwear to the studio?"

Felix tugs at the flimsy thong that does almost nothing to cover you. you moan when the elastic snaps against your skin.

"Ride my thigh, princess. Prove that your slutty hole deserves my cock." Felix grips your hips and shoves your core onto his thigh.

You start moving instantly. The fabric of his sweatpants creates a warm friction that shoots up into your core. You moan as you work your core along his thigh. He grips your hips tightly and leans his head back to watch you lose yourself.

"Fuck, baby, this must have been what you wanted the whole time. Can't go a single night without thinking about my cock in you?" Felix chides. You shake your head, barely able to form a coherent thought. Pleasure sparks through your body with every grind. Your core clenches around nothing.

You whine and work yourself harder against him.

"There's absolutely nothing in your little brain right now except wanting to cum. You must want my cock that badly, huh?" Felix muses. His eyes are dark and hooded as he watches you shake above him.

"Want your cock!" you cry, burying your face in his neck as you get closer and closer to your high.

"Make yourself cum on my thigh first, princess, then maybe I'll consider giving your slutty hole what it wants, yeah? Gotta make sure my cocksleeve is wet enough to take me." Felix rasps in your ear. He palms himself through his sweats in order to get a little more worked up.

"W-wet enough! Want your cock now!" You beg wetly against his ear, pressing kisses on his favorite spot to try and entice him.

"You sure are soaking through my sweatpants, babe," Felix chuckles darkly, "Maybe I should make you stop. Keep you empty and desperate while I practice a little more."

"No!" Tears pricked at your eyes at the thought of stopping. You worked yourself harder against him to urge your high to come quicker. "Please! Need you, baby, need to cum for you."

"Need me? Desperate slut." Felix landed a stinging slap to your ass. He rubbed his palm over the red mark soothingly. "Should I make you stop? Dance a little more and watch you touch yourself? Do you think you could cum without me?"

"No! No I can't cum without you." You sobbed into his neck. He gripped your hips to work you against him harder. "Wanna come for you, just you! Want you to fill my holes all the time."

"That's right, princess, you can only cum with my help. Your little brain is just waiting for me to tell you to cum, that's why you can't now." Felix chides.

It's true. You can taste your orgasm in the back of your throat. Your stomach senses it approaching. Your thighs shudder with anticipation. But you can't fall over the edge. There's something holding you back.

"Please, please can I cum!"

"Fine. Cum on my thigh, princess, make a mess."

That's all it takes. Your thighs clamp around his and you let out a keening moan. Felix forces you to keep grinding on his thigh despite the bite of overstimulation. Your high washes over your body, making you shake in Felix's hold.

After a few minutes, your high wanes and you slump against his chest. Your breath heaves as you try to get some much needed oxygen from your pussy to your brain. Felix gently rubs your back and pulls your skirt back down to offer you some decency. He presses soft kisses on your cheek and neck wherever he can reach.

"Feel better?"

"Still want your cock," you mumble into his neck.

"Yeah? Then ride me, baby."

[joocomics]

connection

day 24 — anonymous sex w/ jooyeon ⌞⌗ kinktober ⌝

♡ this is a collab w @xhfics read her camboy!o.de fic here!

𓂃⠀𓈒 camboy!jooyeon x fem!reader

genre: smut — mdni! wc: 2.9k

contains: switch!jooyeon, anonymous sex, slight roleplay, cam sex, mutual masturbation, usage of toys (fleshlight), light sub/dom dynamics, dirty talk, voice kink, praise kink, jooyeon goes by the nickname jay

[ kinktober masterlist | general masterlist ]

You were just about to check the time again when the bartender called out your usual coffee order. You rush to the bar to pick it up and after you wave at him for goodbye you check your phone again although you’re aware it’s pointless - not even a minute has passed.

But it's been almost two weeks since you last watched him and you're excited, impatient, and needy.

Your last private session was a week and a half ago, and his stream - last Saturday, - which you didn't get to see, because you had a four hour drive home. You can’t help but wish that time could pass quicker.

As you hurry to get home so you can have enough time to shower you realise that your present must have arrived safely which results into your mind wondering... Has he used it already? Does he even like it? Is he going to use it in front of everyone or is he going to keep it a secret and use it only during your private sessions?

Is he willing to turn it into something yours? Something little that connects the two of you a bit closer through your computer screens, and a bit stronger than the tips you send him.

Once you've showered and got dressed in a cute pajama set, - shorts and a top with thin straps that go around your shoulders where your skin radiates a nice floral scent from your body lotion, - you sit down in front of the cushions of your bed and turn on the laptop.

After all this time, you still feel silly for sticking to this routine, because he can't feel how soft your skin is; he can't inhale your perfume or run his thumb along your lipstick, and he's probably never going to. He doesn't even see your face, nor you've ever seen his.

But all this effort helps you control your nerves and boosts the confidence you need in order to go through this hour.

You take a sip of your iced coffee, another must have to keep yourself calm, and place it back on your nighstand as you log into your account.

You're just on time and soon the familiar silhouette appears on your screen.

“Finally”, Jay sighs once he lays eyes on your figure. His voice sounds as usual, low, restful and at ease, and despite not seeing his face, you can tell that he's smiling. “Baby girl, I missed you… Where have you been?”

You adjust the volume to hear him better meanwhile he leans back in his chair, manspreading leisurely and waiting for you to type your answer.

wild cherry: i was out of town for a few days

“Without me?” He asks right away, effortlessly maintaing the boyfriend role which he agreed on playing; as a small thank you gift for the amount of money you sent him a while back.

You wonder if he acts like this for other girls. With his growing popularity, he most likely does, maybe that's why it comes to him so naturally at this point.

wild cherry: i'm on a semester break and my family organised a short trip

wild cherry: i missed you too <3

“Ah, that's nice baby.” He says after chuckling at the little heart at the end of your message. “I want you to rest well and save some energy for me. We have a lot to catch up on.”

Seems like he cannot wait to include your surprise into the conversation, because he brings it up before you get the chance to even ask if he received it.

“I got your gift.” His arm reaches forward, providing you a close look of his long neck with vivid adam's apple. “You're gonna spoil me, baby.”

wild cherry: you earned it

wild cherry: you're a good boyfriend, jay

wild cherry: do you like it?

“I'll admit, I've never used things like this before,” he twirls the clear fleshlight with his hands, genuinely intrigued by it. “It's always just me and my hand, you know? But I'm down to try many things for my pretty girl.”

The motions of his long slim fingers distract you from your keyboard, tempting you to wonder how they would feel on different parts of your body. As you force yourself to look away you notice that everything in his room is exactly the way you last saw it including the acoustic guitar in the corner which makes you think that his fingers must have skills. And which makes you question if it has something to do with the reason he’s here... doing this.

“Is that a new set you have on? Looks good on you, baby.”

wild cherry: yeah, i wanted to wear something new for you

“So sweet, I appreciate it, love.” He leaves the toy on his desk while moving his other hand over his crotch.

You're so immersed in his voice that you're not sure when exactly the boner has grown in his pants. He palms it gently, but doesn't do nothing more yet.

wild cherry: looks like you're excited to try your very first toy

You hear him chuckling and it's the most attractive laugh you've ever heard. He sounds flustered, but also turned on.

“I want to find out how close it will feel to your sweet pussy. Hopefully, a lot.”

wild cherry: that's why i picked it

wild cherry: i want you to use it with your eyes closed and imagine it's me

“I already do that with my hand, baby. Now, tell me...” He lifts his hips up enough to just tug down the waistband of his sweats. “Is that what's on your mind when you touch yourself?”

You feel your face grow hot as you follow the movements of his hand. You love how he's never in a rush of anything. He takes the time to savour every second of the pleasure he gives himself, and - you.

The groan which comes through the speaker as he makes the first slow strokes makes your tummy swirl, but you compose yourself enough to answer.

wild cherry: yeah, every time

You're in the middle of typing your next message, but his husky voice steals your attention. It's something you've been meaning to send several times now, hopefully you won't chicken out again.

“Fuck, this is the second time today,” Jay admits while slowing down his hand even more. “I got hard earlier when I saw what time it is.”

Your heart flutters at his words. The growing heat in your core causes you to sigh as you can't look away from the erotic scene; from the way he lifts his palm to spit on it before proceeding with the gentle twists.

You wish you could see his lips at least. You wonder what their shape is; how they look when he smiles at your messages.

“It's so difficult not to touch myself when you're on my mind, baby. Just knowing I'm gonna see you in an hour makes my cock so fuckin' hard.”

wild cherry: baby, you don't need to hold back anymore

wild cherry: get your toy

Your gaze fixates on his pale skin after he gets rid off his clothes. His slim body floods your mind with images where you run your hands up and down his chest; each one doubles the arousal you feel lingering wildly.

“Fuck!” Jay sighs from relief as he slips inside the transparent shape. Inch by inch, his cock gets swallowed entirely while its walls rub his thickness from all sides. “Mmm, baby, this feels nice. How did you know I'll like it?”

wild cherry: the important thing now is that it makes you feel good

wild cherry: you like being inside me?

“You really are wild, aren't you, pretty?” He asks with a tint of playfulness in his lazy tone before groaning louder as his oozing tip reaches the deep end of the toy.

wild cherry: don't get distracted, baby

wild cherry: i want to hear more of the pretty sounds you make for me

Seconds after you hit send you hear a much more tender moan coming from the boy. You bite your lip as his hand grips tighter, forcing it down his length more eagerly than a moment ago.

“Feels so fuckin’ good, god—“ His mellow voice draws out each word as he gets extra heated. “Bet you’d feel even better, baby girl.“

You smile, glancing down; your hands are sweating from the rush as your fingers tap on the keyboard.

Everything is so much more exciting when there’s no rising numbers of viewers to distract you, when there’s no filthy comments piling up on your screen or buzzing sounds of money interrupting his speech.

wild cherry: imagine it's me, baby

wild cherry: i'm taking your cock and it feels so good

“It does,” he agrees right away, jerking his hips up one more time; as if you’re there, sat on his lap and chasing the same peak as him. “Shit, you’re so tight—“ his voice turns thinner as the noise from his cock gliding through the fleshlight starts to become more obvious, more lewd and intense.

Instead of typing that message you were planning on sending earlier, you decide to just act on your impulses. You pull down your shorts and lean back again against the headboard of the bed, but with your legs separated in front of the camera.

Jay's hand slows down its movements extremely. You hear him cuss quietly as he must be comprehending what's actually happening in front of his eyes.

“I... You don't have to do this, cherry,” he stutters a bit which you find adorable. “If you don't want to you don—“

wild cherry: but i do

wild cherry: i've been wanting to for a long time

“You're so pretty,” he sighs in bliss as he allows his hips to buck up gently; to continue building the warm rush with the erotic stirring view intensifying his desires.

wild cherry: keep looking at me until you cum

wild cherry: can you see how wet i am for you?

“Shit, yeah, I do…”

His moan reaches you in a higher pitch that shoots right through your core. You can’t resist it anymore - your fingers find your sensitive spot and caress it gently.

“Cherry,” he mewls, going out of breath, “gonna cum all over your pretty pussy, baby.”

It’s clear he’s having trouble keeping his voice steady while speaking. The words come out of his mouth quick and shaky, but as you lower your fingers down your folds and slip them into your pool of arousal you realise they have even stronger effects on you like that.

“That’s what you want, right, doll? Fuck, I want that too… want to see my cum all over you, baby.”

You can’t force yourself to be gentle or slow - you begin to pump your fingers as fast as you can while keeping your focus on the screen.

“Shit—“ Jay drags the fleshlight away, groaning desperately at the sudden lack of stimulation, but he quickly gets back into it after standing on his feet and gripping the edge of his desk to steady himself. “Fuck, I’m so fuckin’ close—“

Your room fills up with the lewd noise emerging from between your thighs as you move your hand quicker.

The image of him standing sideways, gripping the desk and fucking the clear toy with sharp greedy thrusting causes your palm to hit your folds harder. You’re not trying to match his rhythm; it just happens that you’re both moments away from reaching your peaks and somehow your bodies end up synchronising.

“Cherry, I need to hear you, please,” you hear the boy spit out as you see few strands of his brown hair dangling in the air as it seems his head hangs low. His hips slow down a bit as his tone turns even lower: “I want to hear your voice before I cum.”

You swallow while the excitement grows inside your chest.

You unmute your microphone and slightly lower the desktop screen to make the intimate view as best as possible.

“Should we cum together now?” You ask, wetting your fingers more and placing them back where they were.

“I knew you’d sound sexy.”

You moan softly as you glide through your gummy walls in aim to resume to the nice pace from earlier. His compliment makes you chuckle though which causes the boy to giggle too.

“I bet you look sexy too,” he continues as he moves his hips forward once; then twice. “I’d fuck you so good...”

“Shit, Jay” you sigh, placing one hand over your boob, “I want to feel your cock so badly… Go faster, baby.” Jay’s fragile moans guide you closer to the edge as you pump your fingers repeatedly into your sweet spot; just like the head of his cock that’s bumping into the end of the toy.

“Keep talking to me, baby,” he begs not slowing down, “don’t stop, fuck—“

“Jay, it feels so good, please—“ you go silent for a moment as you feel the rush intensifying a crazy amount, “fuck me harder, please! I need you, I’m s-so close!”

“Fuck, I’m—“ He stops, unable to continue as his mind turns blank.

Seconds after, the warmth inside you bursts. You let your blissful moaning elevate higher meanwhile Jay’s low whines crawl out of his throat one by one as his hips make the last few motions.

Because he always cums on his stomach you’re guessing that he wants to keep this tradition going. After he sits back down in his chair, he lets the thick release spill out of the fleshlight, and dribble down his tummy.

For a moment there’s just silence between you, except your overwhelmingly loud breaths, until he quietly says:

“Thank you for this, cherry.”

You smile shyly as if he can see you and by a habit you reach for the keyboard.

“It was my pleasure,” you admit, disliking how formal it sounds, but you can’t think of anything better to respond with. You’re not used to speaking to him… with your voice.

“I appreciate your gift, baby, and just so you know I’m going to be using it only whenever you want me to.”

Your eyes widen a bit from hearing these words.

So it is going to be your thing.

“We’re gonna make a good use of it.” Your heart starts to thump quicker with joy.

Your index finger roams along the edge of your laptop as you wait for a response, but one doesn’t come for a few seconds that almost feel like minutes to you.

You shift in your place after you notice Jay shifting in his own seat; his one hand takes a hold of the armchair as his body slightly leans forward.

“Are you a coffee drinker?” He asks which catches you off guard.

You almost forgot about the coffee besides you.

“Oh, yeah, few times a day.” You chuckle before taking the cup to take a small sip.

“Does it say wild cherry there too?” The boy asks after a pause and now you really begin to feel the strong curiosity in his voice.

“No, I use that only for you.” You don’t receive a reply right away so you continue: “For my coffee order I use another nickname that one of my friends came up with actually.”

You guide the cup close to the camera so he can see the nickname you’re talking about.

Jay reads it out loud very slowly.

He doesn’t comment on it which disappoints you a little bit, but there’s no way you can find out that it’s because his mouth went dry immediately after.

“Do you drink coffee?” You decide to ask so you can fill the ongoing silence.

“Venti iced shaken espresso with splash of oatmilk and four pumps of caramel. Is that your order?” Jay asks instead of replying to your question. “The one you have only during autumn.”

“How did you know?”

“Because I make it for you every week.” He laughs; a bit flustered, very surprised, and as if he’s on the verge of jumping from his chair.

You keep staring at his frame with disbelief.

Can what’s running through your head right now really be the truth?

“I thought your voice sounded familiar,” he thinks out loud while his hand goes up to his face which you still can’t see.

“How did I not recognise yours?” You ask more yourself than him. “You sound different.”

“Yeah, uhm,” Jay stands up to grab his sweatpants, “At work I use my customer service voice… to sound more bubbly and exciting you know? When I’m here I just… relax.”

Before you know it, you can see the familiar face. The one you see almost every day - charming, bright, with a pair of captivating brown eyes that you’ve wished several times you could hold onto for a little bit longer.

Jooyeon, as his badge says. Here’s why you didn’t see him at the cafe today.

“I will not say a word about this,” you adjust the screen so he can see you now too. He immediately smiles at the sight of your face. “I promise.” After he nods with appreciation, you decide to ask the question that would probably not leave your mind all day if you keep to yourself. “Will this change anything?”

Jooyeon’s eyes glance down for a second as they seem to concentrate. When they look back up at you there’s a noticeable glimmer inside.

“I think it just made things even more interesting.”

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed

[rustingcat]

The moment Kara heard Sam was coming to town she knew there would be trouble.

Not that she had anything against the woman, quite the opposite, she absolutely adored Sam. But her visits tend to be a bit… chaotic.

It started not long after Ruby turned old enough to babysit Esme by herself. Sam would fly to National city for a weekend, leaving Ruby at the Danvers-Olsen house for a paid sleepover with Esme, and dragged the superfriends to the nearest Bar to get them all shitfaced drunk.

Kara would not easily forget waking up on the roof of a ferris wheel once, wearing a clown outfit and hugging a pogo stick. She did forget the events leading up to that point due to the large amount of alcohol she consumed the night before.

Kara briefly toyed with the idea to visit her parents on Argo for the duration of Sam's visit, or at the very least her first night. But she hasn't seen her in so long, and with Kara's very busy schedule she decided it's a good opportunity as any to take some time off and enjoy a night out with her friends. She just hoped there would be no stumbling drunkenly into any more theme parks.

That's why she was very surprised to learn that Sam's new adventurous plan was a simple game night at Kara’s apartment.

With alcohol, of course.

Kara kept her drinking at a minimum, just enough to get some nice buzz out of it, but a far cry from a complete black out. She wasn't the only one, most participants had seemingly decided to avoid a similar fate. Much to Sam's disappointment, Kara assumed, since she kept asking them to do shots.

After a few tame games of Settlers of Catan and a round of pictionary, Sam decided to spice things up a bit. They started with a game of 'would you rather' that slowly evolved into an open question format where everyone answered the same questions.

"Favourite… type of apple?" It was Nia's turn to ask, she spent almost 5 minutes struggling to find a question before settling on one.

"Really? That's the best you got?" Sam asked disappointed.

"I was panicking! That's the only thing I could think of!" Nia said defensively, her arms raising in the air in surrender. "Do you have anything better?"

"You know it," Sam said with a sly smile.

"Go ahead then."

"Alright," Sam clapped her hands, moving her gaze from one person to the next slowly before she continued. "Not including your actual partner, who would you marry out of the people in this room?"

"And I can't choose Nia?" Brainy asked, his hands deep in Nia's hair, drunkenly caressing her hair between his fingers. He may have gotten slightly drunker than most by trying to be nice and accepting most of Sam's shots.

"That would be against the rules." Sam smiled and twisted the wine glass in her hand.

"That's preposterous!" He exclaimed. Nia's head recoiled with a small groan of pain as Brainy accidentally hit her head. "There is no possibility in the multiverse I would pick anyone but her!" He announced, Nia remembered to move her head in time to avoid the second hit.

"You're no fun," Sam rolled her eyes. "Nia?" She smirked.

"Only Brainy, of course." She proclaimed loudly. Brainy rewarded her with a kiss on the forehead while she mouthed 'Kelly' under her breath.

Sam winked to her in return, while the rest tried to hide their chuckle.

"Kelly, you're next for no particular reason," Sam turned to her with a smile.

"Nia," Kelly replied with a matching smile. "For no particular reason."

"Alex?" Sam changed the topic before Brainy could interject.

"You know, I think we could've worked out," she weaved her hand towards Sam's direction.

"Yeah, we could've had some fun," Sam smirked back at her. "Alright, Kara, what about you?" She turned to face her.

"Lena," Kara answered without much thinking.

"Well, she is rich, it makes sense," Sam said under the rim of her glass.

"Rich wife is very convenient," Alex nodded in agreement.

"I'm not choosing her because of her money." The idea of reducing Lena to her finance, a walking wallet if you will, infuriated her. She was so much more than that. Kara put down her empty glass and stood up a bit faster than she intended.

"Then why her?" Sam challenged with a raised eyebrow.

Kara blinked in surprise, was it not obvious? "Because she is amazing! She's brilliant, smart, kind and… pretty," she added with a small blush creeping up her neck. "Also a great listener and problem solver, which is important in a relationship. And-"

"Yeah okay, we got it," Alex cut her off.

Kara gave her a mocking look in response, eyebrows squinted and tongue sticking out as she walked up to the kitchen to refill her glass.

"Lena, who is your pick?" Sam continued with the game.

"Kara, of course." The way she said it, as if there were no other options, filled Kara with warmth she was not expecting. She also wasn't sure why it made her smile so much, but it did. Then again they were best friends, it would be awkward if they were not to pick each other, right?

"Hey Kara, can you get me a beer?" Alex called out.

Kara studied her for a second. "No, you were being annoying."

"Wha- Kara!" Alex whined.

"Get one yourself," Kara shrugged, and poured herself a glass of white wine.

"Kara, can you give me a glass of red, please?" Lena asked. Her voice was so soft, it sent shivers down her spine.

"Of course," Kara quickly pulled another wine glass from the upper cupboard and placed it on her kitchen island.

"Hey, I asked you first," Alex shouted in retaliation, as she finished filling the second glass. "So you're getting Lena's drink and not mine?"

"Yes," Kara answered with a smile, walking back to the living room while maintaining eye contact with her sister, knowing it would annoy her more.

"Why?" Alex challenged, squinting her eyes while maintaining the eye contact.

"Wife privileges," Kara shrugged and took her place next to Lena, shifting a bit closer to her this time before she placed her glass on the table.

Kara almost forgot about the whole thing, until a week later when Lena brought it up. They were sitting in Lena's new office, talking about her new conjoined plan for both her foundation and the newly reformed L-Corp for a new source of green energy. A top secret plan, but Lena was talking about it with so much enthusiasm that Kara couldn't help herself, asking more and more questions, eager to learn more about it. Soon after, Kara found herself in the halls of the foundation's labs, Lena excitedly telling her about the project in detail.

"This sounds amazing, Lena! But I thought this was top secret, not that I'm complaining. I love seeing you this enthusiastic, but how come I get to hear about it?" Kara asked eventually.

Lena was quiet for a moment, before she answered "wife privileges," with a shrug, her cheeks slightly pink.

Kara brought it up next, when she forced Lena to leave the office at a reasonable time. Claiming 'wife privileges' as the reason Lena has to follow her home and relax for a bit.

Lena later used it as an excuse to steal a fry off of Kara’s plate, even though she insisted she only wanted a salad. When she met Kara raised brow she simply shrugged and claimed “wife privileges.”

It quickly became an inside joke for them, a reason for them to do a nice thing for each other or an excuse to get away with stuff; like buying lunch, stealing clothes or bringing surprise pastries. Things they were already doing anyway, they just had a better excuse to do it more often.

"Hey, it's been a month since that game night," Kara said, raising her very fancy wine glass to her lips. Lena invited her to a fancy Italian place that opened recently. It was right after Kara mentioned a craving for pasta the day before.

"Are you suggesting it's our anniversary?" Lena smirked, leaning back on her chair. She didn't need to be specific, she knew Lena knew what she was talking about.

"Happy anniversary." Kara raised her wine glass and smiled. She loved how quick Lena could understand her.

"Happy anniversary." Lena raised her own glass to toss it with hers, smiling her wide smile with the dimples that made Kara all warm inside. She was so captivated by the smile that it took Kara a few moments to realise the waiter was standing right beside them.

The meal was, of course, amazing, not only because of the quality Italian cuisine, but her fantastic company. Kara always felt most like herself when she was with Lena, she wasn't sure why but she made her feel at peace.

They finished their meal, still deep in conversation, sipping the remaining of their wine when the waiter appeared. Presenting them with a complementary tiramisu with a candle and two spoons, wishing them a happy anniversary.

Kara was about to correct him when Lena thanked him with a nod and gestured for Kara to dig in. She couldn't help the goofy smile that spread on her face. Out of all the inside jokes so far, she had the feeling that that was their best one yet.

Read the rest in AO3

[dovveri]

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars

synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)

warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing

w/c: 6.4k

a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!

ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.

▂▂⌇

you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.

you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.

your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.

▂▂⌇

funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.

it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.

she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.

frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.

and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.

▂▂⌇

you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.

you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.

you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?

you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.

sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.

▂▂⌇

"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.

"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.

"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.

you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.

the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.

your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.

sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.

it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.

when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.

▂▂⌇

you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.

picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.

there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?

he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.

it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.

after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?

it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.

▂▂⌇

"y/n!"

you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.

she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.

"oh. who's this y/n?"

you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.

"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"

"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.

"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.

"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.

"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.

danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”

sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don’t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”

you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.

“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”

danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.

“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.

“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.

▂���⌇

when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.

you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.

it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.

sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.

these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.

you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.

your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.

“hello?”

“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”

“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”

“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”

“i just woke up frank.”

“it’s 2pm.”

“yeah.”

you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.

no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.

frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.

▂▂⌇

you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.

you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.

it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too… nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.

though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.

“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.

you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”

she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”

it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.

“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”

the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.

“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”

you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.

you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.

so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.

you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.

“y/n?”

it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.

“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.

she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…

“what are you doing here?”

“i-i- u-um i-“

“how did you get my address?”

“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."

she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.

"...did you come here for something then?"

"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."

you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.

"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.

"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"

the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.

"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.

"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.

“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”

you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.

sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.

you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.

suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.

▂▂⌇

after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.

you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.

now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.

eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.

▂▂⌇

that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.

you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.

she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.

you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.

"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.

you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.

"why?"

you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.

"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."

you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.

"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."

sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"

"well... i- no but-"

"how is this time any different then y/n?"

"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.

you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.

"okay."

"okay?"

she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."

"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.

"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.

you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.

it took you only a month to break that promise.

▂▂⌇

"hi, frank's wife right?"

you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.

you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.

you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.

you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.

but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.

▂▂⌇

"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.

you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"

she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.

"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.

sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."

frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"

you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."

"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."

"aww thanks sana."

sana grins, digging into her food.

you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.

you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.

it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.

you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.

you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.

"why are you avoiding me?"

sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"yes you do."

"no i don't."

"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."

she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"

you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."

"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."

"what?"

"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."

the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"

"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."

"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"

she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.

but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.

sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.

"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"

her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."

you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.

you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.

you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.

▂▂⌇

you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.

you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.

you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.

the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.

it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.

"do i know you from somewhere?"

you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."

"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"

you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.

"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."

you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.

"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."

momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.

"wedding?"

momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."

your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?

“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.

“i-i- yeah sorry.”

“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”

“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”

“yeah no problem.”

she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.

“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.

“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”

“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.

momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.

“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?

momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.

once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.

▂▂⌇

"what was that y/n?"

"what?"

"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"

"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."

"it's not that easy sana."

she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"

"i don't- no sana-"

"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"

"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"

"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."

"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"

"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.

you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.

she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.

"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."

"please sana, please just-"

"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"

you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.

your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”

sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.

you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.

“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“

you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.

“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”

she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”

“n-no sana please d-don’t-“

“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”

and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.