#I can't remember the last time I wrote something in second person?? WHO AM I

[wttcsms]

if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy.��( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: fumiko.gima@apextalentgroup.com To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: wfitch@everlanefitch.com, mai.sasaki@apextalentgroup.com, hideakitakeda@titansecuritysolutions.com, benji1968@gmail.com + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All — 

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule. 

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS 

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off. 

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.) 

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you. 

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit. 

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms. 

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty. 

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts. 

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u 

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words. 

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment] 

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason 

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested. 

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media. 

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.” 

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know, 

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.” 

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.” 

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming. 

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything. 

Late in the afternoon, you get another text. 

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense. 

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out? 

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world. 

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity. 

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living. 

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days. 

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home? 

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too. 

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :) 

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM. 

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her. 

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend. 

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words. 

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be. 

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her. 

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you. 

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table. 

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day. 

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her. 

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.” 

“Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy. 

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.” 

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress. 

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could. 

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.” 

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?” 

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation. 

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?” 

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him. 

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?” 

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks. 

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together. 

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers. 

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend. 

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.” 

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion. 

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk). 

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned. 

“Never better.” 

“Do you have a ride home?” 

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say. 

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking. 

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge. 

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.) 

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly. 

“Let me take you home.” 

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.” 

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early. 

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].” 

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever. 

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car. 

No. 

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up. 

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!” 

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!” 

“Then why were your hands all over me?” 

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet. 

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint. 

He blinks. “What?” 

“What?” You repeat back, innocently. 

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back. 

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup. 

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.” 

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks. 

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway. 

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back. 

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces. 

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?” 

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps. 

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.” 

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets. 

“Do you really want me to stay?” 

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

[neverfindmegone]

Hi people, so I'm not a writer and I never wrote anything but my darling @pinkthrone445 is always writing the most amazing things, so I wanted to write this in her honor. Sorry if it's extremely silly and not well written but is my first try 🖤

What I can see

You and Melissa had been friends for a couple of months now. You met the red head during your first day in Abbot. You were nervous as hell to work as a teacher's aid, but you have always loved children and working with them was a dream.

At first, Melissa wasn't very friendly, she was extremely sarcastic, making fun of you every chance she got.

You still remember your first meeting, Ava had come to introduce you to the red head and you couldn't form one proper sentence, being stunned by her beauty.

- What's the matter Hon, did the cat get your tongue?

After that you started to spend more and more time with the older woman, and the intimidation you felt started to turn into a deep admiration. Being her helper was such an interesting job, the learning range was big, from teaching kids with special needs to having the number of a guy who could help you with racoon problems.

Yes. Melissa was an interesting woman and you started to fall for her more and more each day.

At first you believed to be a innocent crush, but the more you had one on one conversations, you saw that you couldn't stop thinking about what hurricane of a woman she was. Her presence, her personality, her looks, you were completely obsessed. What resulted in you finding every excuse possible to be around her all the time. You would bring her coffee, invite for lunches, drinks, movies almost every week after work.

Melissa seemed to appreciate the extra attention you gave her, sometimes you could swear you caught her staring when she thought you weren't looking.

Her bright green eyes shined when you overshared and her hands always found away to touch you, shoulders, hands, thighs.

That's how you found yourself in the current situation. Ava was giving one of her Ava speeches, and you had Melissa sitting right next to you, her arm touching yours. You were caught giving her looks from the corner of your eye, every time your skins would brush.

- Does she sound drunk to you? She whispered in your ear.

The hairs on the back of your back stood up immediately and you were frozen for a second. Her breath ghosting your skin made you feel dizzy whenever she was this close to you. Damn this woman had put you wonder a spell or something. When did you start to be so easily affected?

Melissa noticing your lack of response, shoved your arm slowly. - You okay?

- Yes, I mean no, not drunk, maybe hung over? I saw on her Insta last night, she was at the club until late.

- Club on a Wednesday? That's brave even for her. She eye rolled, looking back at the stage.

- Come on Schemmenti. You looked at her. - Can't you handle going out on a school night?

Her head snapped immediately, green eyes finding yours, nostrils inflating. You liked teasing her, it was a part of the flirting banter you had going on.

You raised both of your eyebrows challenging her. - Too old?

- Are you kidding me kid? You, me, club tonight. She said snapping, challenging you back.

- Deal, I'll pick you up at 7.

---

Later that night, you knocked on Melissa's door at 7:15. A bit late, but nothing that would bother the older lady. When the door was opened, your jaw dropped. She was wearing a tight red dress, her creamy cleavage completely in display.

You couldn't stop staring at her breasts, your breathing getting elaborated. This was definitely the rack from God.

Melissa's voice broke up you from your paralysis. - What's the matter hon? Am I over dressed?

You frowned, seeing her insecurity.

- Are you kidding me? Mel, you look... You paused, your eyes raking over her body up and down slowly. - Exquisite.

- Really? I'm not sure about this. She said entering the house, with you following. - I had other options. She gestured for you to follow her into the bedroom.

- Maybe these black jeans? She pointed to the bed, where a bunch of clothes were scattered. - I haven't been to a club in a while, I don't know what I was thinking.

You looked around seeing the mess in the room, realizing that she was probably over thinking this. You wanted nothing more than reassure her, this woman was divine, how couldn't she know that?

- No, you look perfect, I promise.

Melissa made a face, showing that she didn't believe you, she walked to the large mirror in the corner of her room, before standing there, observing herself. Her hands moved over her dress, tiding it up. - Am I too old for this?

- Melissa, please. You giggled, how did this goddess believe she was too old for anything. That's when you remember your teasing earlier, you started to feel guilty. She wouldn't have been upset over that, would she?

- Is this about earlier? You asked approaching her. - Let me show you something. You continued, moving yourself behind her in the mirror slowly, afraid to scare her away. Your desire was to prove to the woman how gorgeous she really was.

- What do you really think? She said looking at you, finding your eyes in the mirror.

You moved your hands to her hips gently, holding her in place, while making eye contact with her.

- I think you will be the hottest woman there. You squeezed her hips gently, before giving them a tap. - Come on.

Melissa huffs, before looking at you with vulnerable eyes. - Oh please.

You move closer, keeping your eyes on hers, before resting your chin on her shoulder. - I don't think you are aware of the effect you have on people. Your arms hugged her from behind while you spoke.

The older woman eyerolled. - Huf, you have to say that, you're my friend.

- Melissa stop. You moved your hands to hers, before squeezing them. - Please see what everyone can see... What I can see.

She blushed deeply. - Listen kid, I...

You moved closer in a fast manner, making her stop talking. You pressed your front against her back completely, before starting - First, look at these arms. You moved your hands up and down her shoulders gently. - They are muscular and strong.

You felt her tense up, looking at you with uncertainty. You gave her a wide smile before you felt her relaxing again, she gave you a small nod, letting you know it was okay to continue.

You shifted your hands to her stomach, stroking it with your fingertips. - Look at this waste, so gorgeous and just the right shape. Her eyes shifted to your hands movements, and her breath started to increase it's path, as she felt you caressing her skin.

- And these hips? Your hand moved down her curves, touching her more intimately now, increasing the pressure of your hands.

- They are so attractive, when you walk, people at school can't stop staring at them. You know when I first met you I couldn't stop thinking about your hips and thighs.

She shaked her head no. - It's true. You breathed in her ear. - You carry such power and swag when you walk, it's impossible not to look.

Her eyes starting to shine, lips quivering as she felt your hands moving to her behind. - I don't think I need to tell you about this mouth watering ass of yours, do I?

Your eyes found hers, completely black now, your hand moving up and down her butt cheeks. Your touch was maddening, Melissa was starting to tremble and you heard a small whimper scape when your nails traced her shape, teasingly.

Your face moved closer to hers, your nose brushing against her cheek, your eyes never leaving hers. - But do you wanna know my favorite? You said slowly, letting the tip of your tongue brush against her earlobe.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Your hands roamed up her front and the red head felt like her skin was on fire, it was as if hot oil was being poured in every spot your fingers touched. Your hand stopped on her chest and you stretched your fingers to her neck, squeezing it gently.

- Y/N. She whimpered, her voice full of emotion.

Your fingers grasped her chin before turning her face to yours. - It's your face Melissa, I'm obsessed with your face. Your eyes kept drinking in hers while you spoke - Your eyes they are so green and deep. - Your smile lights up the whole room, it's contagious.

You leaned closer, letting your fingertips touch the tip of her nose - Your nose is sharp and perfect. You traced a path to her lips, observing her face deeply, like you were a painter and she was your master piece. Your fingers moved to her lips softly, the pressure light but steady.

- And your mouth, God your mouth.

Melissa held her breath, her eyes started to close, she was hypnotized by your caresses. Her eyes snapped open when she felt you pulling away. But before she could protest in disappointment you moved your hands to her breasts squeezing them roughly. You couldn't keep yourself away from them for one more second. - And these are the star of the show. You felt her nipples get hard while you played with them.

Her head fell to your shoulder before she groaned. - Fucking chirst Y/N.

You lost any self control you had left and turned her around, pressing her back against the mirror, trapping her with your hands beside her head . - Do you see it now? You asked, your eyes full of lust.

Her lack of response gave you the impression that she was uncomfortable, so you started to move away shyly. - Fuck, sorry Mel, I know we work together. Before you could finish your sentence Melissa grabbed your face and crashed her lips against yours. She was furious and putting all of her desire and longing into that kiss.

You had no idea how long she had craved this, how long she had craved you. And having your hands and whispers seducing her like that was enough to take the red head to a breaking point.

All she could see was black, her hands moved over your body frantically, squeezing every piece of flesh she could find.

You moaned feeling how dominant she had became, letting her take charge of the kiss. Your hands moved to her shoulders, clutching with force, returning all the fire the woman was giving you. You opened your mouth, accepting her tongue in. Your mind was dizzy with desire, and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning again.

- Holy fuck. You panted. You kissed for minutes, or what seemed to be hours. You couldn't get enough of her taste and she seemed to be obsessed with yours. Every time you would stop to breathe the other would pull in again with force, continuing the intense kiss. Your hands tangled in her gorgeous hair and hers groping you forcefully.

When you felt yourself close to fainting from the lack of air, you moved away from her, catching your breath so you could take a sight of what had just happened.

You moved your hand over your chest, trying to recover.

- Wow Schemmenti, I always assumed you were a good kisser but this, this is something else.

When you caught her eyes, she was still silent, chest and face red, she looked dangerous, almost a predator looking at her pray. - Mel?

She moved closer to you before shoving you in the bed savagely. You fell on your elbows harshly. - Ouch! Melissa! You said looking her with surprise.

- You had your fun seducing and playing me like pudding in your hands. Now it's my turn. She said while moving on top of you.

Her hands moved to your neck before squeezing it. - And you know something Y/N? She said while leaning in, letting her mouth hover over yours. - I don't think I want to go to the club anymore.

[wutheringmights]

I finished rereading The Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce a couple of days back. I already talked about the first book in a post that garnered more attention than it deserved. I guess we were all happily reminiscing about the menstruation scenes together, or Tortall fans are so starved for content they (we) will reblog anything.(Understandable. I too am starved for a thriving Tortall fandom.)

I'm too lazy to make separate posts about each book, so we're just going to do a mega post covering the second, third, and fourth book.

Unlike last time, I will be giving a little criticism to this series. I still love it endlessly, but there were a few things about the prose I thought was interesting that I want to talk about a bit.

So, without further ado~

In the Hand of the Goddess

I think this one is my favorite one, despite how rushed the plot it. It contains all of my favorite plot points, like awkward romances with George and Jon, attending knight lessons, and a little summer war. Fun stuff.

But it definitely feels rushed. I really wish someone told Pierce to make this a 12 book series, expanding on Alanna's years at the castle. It would have gone so far to better develop the romances and the friendships in these books.

I am fascinated by what Pierce chose to skim over. Characters would die or kiss for the first time off screen, with the prose resuming with Alanna reacting to it. It demonstrates an understanding of character work that I personally adore and try to emulate in my own writing-- the real bones of a story being in how characters respond to fantastic events as opposed to the fantastic events themselves.

Also, the whole veil spell Roger cast in objectively stupid, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. You're telling me that Roger used magic to make Alanna lose interest in doing anything about the obviously evil things he was doing? That's fucking hilarious. You know an editor came back to Pierce and asked her to come up with a reason why Alanna wasn't just going to spring into action at the first sign of Roger trying to kill her, only for Pierce to come up with this. It's so silly. I love it.

Woman Who Rides Like A Man

Did this book age poorly? Yes, but not as badly as I remembered. That's not a stirring defense, and it's really not meant to be.

The Bahzir are a mess of Orientalism, and Pierce definitely deserves criticism for not only the way she wrote them but for the ways in which she frames their cultural practices as something that needs to be fixed. Having Alanna want to force them to change their culture to suit her beliefs is not a great look for both the character and the writer. And that's not even getting into the whole assimilation plotline.

But I did enjoy Pierce's attempts to expand on the definition of womanhood, especially as a part of Alanna learning to embrace femininity. There is this running thread in these last two books of Alanna learning about all the different ways to be a woman and choosing for herself what her gender means to her. It's not done particularly well, and anyone looking for a revolutionary examination of gender roles and identity is going to be sorely disappointed. But there's an attempt here that I can't help but appreciate.

This book is also where Pierce starts to slow the plot down, which lends it to having the most reasonable pacing out of the bunch. That being said, it's also the book where the lack of development for a bunch of the side characters start to hurt. I really wish Gary or Raoul joined Alanna in the desert. Raoul gets his moment in the sun with the Protector of the Small books, but Gary remains largely forgettable. In fact, I spent this entire read-through convinced this man dies at the end of the last book, if only because I can't remember where he appears in any of the other books.

Lioness Rampant

This book somehow has the improved pacing of the third book while still feeling rushed. The quest for the Dominion Jewel really should have been it's own book, if only to give Thayet and Buri more room for development. Thayet in particular really needs her moment to shine, especially when she continues to be an important character in the other series.

But do you know who did get a lot of screen time? Liam.

Remembered shit about this guy before going into this book. I could only vaguely recalled disliking him as a kid, but not as much as I venomously hated Jon. (Speaking of which-- I love the way this man is realistically shitty. Him getting dumped by Alanna is always my favorite scene.) But Liam? Fuck that guy. Holy shit. I give full applause to Pierce for portraying the important milestones every girl goes through growing up, which includes having a situationship that is so shitty that it becomes essential character development.

Roger's return feels very... cheesy? I think Alex should have stepped up to be the final villain on the story. Unlike Roger, Alex was Alanna's friend. They have history. The betrayal would have imbued that final fight with so many more emotions than it ultimately had. I also would have liked Alanna to have at least meaningfully talked to Alex sometime before the climax.

Honestly, it's impressive how reactive Alanna is as a character in the last half of the book. She doesn't seek out how to stop Roger's plan, or fix Thom, or anything. Other characters make plans and she just... waits for something to go wrong.

That being said, by virtue of Alanna's relationships with George, Liam, and Jon all happening sometime in this plot, this book becomes a good place to look to get the full berth of how Pierce handles romances. Which, I love her approach. The romances are never over the top or, for lack of a better word, too romantic. It's very down to earth, with characters dating, marrying, or breaking up for realistic reasons.

Jon and Alanna were friends who broke up because they had different life plans. Liam and Alanna broke up for having fundamentally different values. As much as I bitch about how shitty Jon and Liam are, they're not cartoonishly evil. They're just a little shitty the way most of your exes will be. Jon and Liam are men could find love with someone else. They just aren't suited for Alanna.

Meanwhile, the most romantic things George does are wait for her and be supportive. He doesn't fight or get territorial. He makes his feelings clear, then waits for Alanna's cues. Alanna definitely loves him, but she ends up with him in the end because their lifestyles and core beliefs meld together. There's no grand romantic gesture or whirlwind affairs. They are just a good pair.

I have read stories with far heavier focuses on romance, and none of those couples feel as perfect as Alanna and George. Those stories prioritize all the gooey moments over showing why the main couple should get together. For how little romantic interactions they have, you believe these two could have a successful marriage. Perfect stuff.

---

Over all, I really enjoyed rereading these books. For all my griping, I still love the story. I love Alanna. She's a character who is fundamental to my soul. No matter where I am in life, I will always want to open these books and find her again, to walk back into Tortall and join her on her quest to be a lady knight.

My copies of the series come with forewards from a previous edition. In one of them, Pierce wrote that this series started off as an adult fantasy story that was much darker and edgier. I need to know what that story looks like, what happened in it. Pierce can claim as she wants that she hardly remembers what it looks like, but I refuse to believe that. Release the unedited first draft, Pierce. I am begging you.

[missmielyhoran]

Yearbook

in which Harry promised you to take you as his first award show date...

(A/N- In this Harry became solo artist one direction doesn't exist, listen to Wanna be yours for feels)

[Warning- Fluff, Angst if you like squint reallllllyyyyyyy hard, a little self-doubt, Harry being absolute gentleman he is, Harry might or might not have a secret crush on reader🤭, pinning like idiots]

Masterlist

*****

Life is werid and unpredictable.

As for someone who likes to plan their every move in advance, you hated that from the bottom of your heart. You were the type of person to pick out outfits and plan everything for the day for an event you will attend in a week or two.

So imagine your surprise when your ex classmate comes at your door step asking you to be his date and not just any classmate...Harry fucking Styles asking you to be his date to VMAs.

HARRY FUCKING STYLES.

"Wait can you repeat that?" You said dumbfounded. Harry chuckled, dimples digging in deep as he asked you again

"Will you be my date to the VMAs?"

"I still can't believe it. I mean why me? Is this a prank? Is Nick Grimshaw going to jump out of somewhere with his camera crew or something or is this revenge for me spilling orange juice on your shirt on picture da-" Your rambling was cut off by Harry scooting near you on the couch and holding both your shoulders.

Your eyes snapped to his, and your face flushed red cause one, he was Harry Styles, and you were obviously his fan. Second, you had a massive crush on him in school and still have (who doesn't?).

You really were surprised how you didn't drop dead from a heart attack.

"Darling do you have your yearbook with you?" He asked you softly and you nodded too in shock to speak.

"Go get it" He said removing his hands from your shoulders and sitting back.

Yes daddy was your first response but you bit your tongue and ran off to your room.

"Holy fucking shit" You whisper shouted to yourself and fixed your hair in the mirror and put on some lipgloss even though he saw you in the ratty state you were when you opened the door thinking it was pizza, it was not late to make a good impression right?

You knew where your yearbook was, so you took your time to make your appearance look good and excused the time as "searching."

"Sorry took some time to find this old thing" You lied. Harry hummed as you gave him the book and smirked.

"If I didn't knew any better I would say you were lying darling and actually was getting dolled up, up there" He said still not looking up rather than flicking through pages.

Your face flushed again and you played with your hair trying to not squim and be flustered.

"I was not-" He cut you off again but you didn't mind cause you didn't have an excuse.

"Look here." He pointed towards the very end of the page where you had your friends sign at the last day of school, and obviously, Harry's was also there, but there was also a message there.

I promise to take you as my date to my first VMAs

Honestly, you don't even remember he wrote that. You were too busy being sad over not being able to see his pretty face every day. You were surprised he still remembered.

"You remembered this?" You asked him and looked up he was looking at you with his pretty toothy dimply smile and your heart skipped a beat, it was like highschool all over again.

"Ofcourse I did" he said and scooted back a bit to your much dismay, "Now the question is will you?"

"Duh. I would be a dumbass if I said no" You laughed and put the yearbook aside.

"Great Great" He said, standing up from beside you. You frowned discreetly at the thought of him leaving so early, "I will be here to pick you up tomorrow at 2 pm. That's okay for you?" He asked looking at you hopefully.

"Yeah that's okay" You replied smiling softly. His eyes shined brighter as if you were the sun. You stood there in middle of your living room watching his beautiful green eyes that was until a thought struck you.

"But I don't have anything to wear, Harry! It's already 4 pm when am I supposed to go shopping and buy stuff." You started panicking again but he just waved you off.

"Calm down darling. Event is at 6 there is a reason I said I will pick you up at 2. All you have to do it get your pretty little ass in my car, worry about nothing else" He said tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. Your face went red, feeling flustered by is unashamed flirting.

"Okay" You said with a soft smile. Harry smiled and hugged you, with your face in his chest you could smell his cologne and god he smelled so amazing, like Vanilla and sandalwood with a hint of tobacco, you were obsessed.

"See you tomorrow" He said with a wink as he walked towards his car.

God he must be thinking how embarrassing I'm.

*****

God she must be thinking how embarrassing I'm.

Harry thought as he drove away from your house still watching your small figure standing on the door.

It was a shot in dark, him just showing up and asking you to be his date to VMAs. In reality he would be asking you to a real date but he's too much of a pussy.

He could have asked you when he was in highschool but he too scared just as he's now. He just hope everything goes well tomorrow and the next time he will be picking you up will be a real date.

*****

Tomorrow came too early and too late.

Whole night you couldn't sleep thinking about the event, who would be there? what will you do if someone famous talks to you? what will you say if someone asks you who Harry is to you? An ex classmate? friend? acquaintance?

Then your mind went to Harry and how good he looked, you wondered what he will be wearing, if it will match your outfit. Will you be good enough for him? what will everyone else say?

It wasn't until you got a text that you stopped overthinking. It was Harry, you had exchanged numbers so he could text you if something happened.

Panicking you checked the text thinking he was canceling on you cause he found someone pretty like a model who would be far more appropriate to take to event like this but it was him sending you picture of his cat.

Harry-

If you're stressing out we have a great cuddler here

You smiled and replied to his text.

You-

Who you or her?

Harry-

Why don't you find out yourself...

It went back and forth until you fell asleep mid replying but Harry didn't mind he was just happy he got to talk to you.

You woke up you guessed it...panicking. You thought the alarm you set didn't go off just to find out there was still an hour left. Knowing you will not fall asleep again you went down and made a good breakfast. Most of the time you just hurry grabbing what you can and run to work but today you treated yourself.

You made omelets sunny side up, toast, and a nice coffee and then ate it while listening to your happy playlist. After you were done with breakfast, you washed the dishes and then took a shower.

You washed your hair, deep conditioned it, shaved your whole body until baby smooth, used all those expensive oils you bought. You wanted to look your best, you knew you were nothing compared to those celebrities, models there will be which bunch of Harry dated but you could get close and look like you belong there.

After shower you got out and wrapped yourself in a bathrobe and did your elaborate skincare, mask and everything.

In doing everything, you didn't even realize the time, and suddenly, it was 2 p.m. and Harry was at your front door right on time, and you were running down the stairs. You decided to wear a simple white sundress with small sunflowers considering it was too hot outside and you also looked cute in it. Forgoing makeup cause you will be getting ready there anyways, you put on your lipsgloss and opened the door.

"Hi" you said, beaming at Harry. He was wearing white pants and a hoodie with hood up and a mask covering his face so no one would recognize him. He looked good nonetheless.

"Hi." Harry was breathless. You looked like sunshine incarnated, your smile, your dress god he wished he could kiss you right now. "You look absolutely beautiful," He said, checking you out shamelessly.

"Thank you" you blushed and stepped aside to let him in. "I just need to grab my purse and we will go" You said.

"Take your time there is no rush" Harry said, "Oh and these are for you" he said, shyly extending the bouquet of flowers. It was a mix of sunflowers and daffodils, "I know you like daffodils so.." he trailed off.

You looked up shocked he even knew that. You don't even remember telling him that. "This is beautiful Harry thank you so much" You said looking at him with softest look there ever have been in someone's eyes.

You quickly put flowers in vase smiling to yourself and checked your bag for everything you needed. "I'm ready" You said walking up to Harry in living room.

"Let's go then" Harry said, getting up from your couch. You walked behind him, locking up the main door while he contemplated if holding your hand would be too much.

God he feels like middle school boy.

Fuck it he thought to himself and threaded his fingers into yours as you stepped down on the stairs to his level. Your hands were so soft and small in comparison to his, almost swallowing it whole and for some reason his heartbeat skipped at that.

If he wasn't all too gone he was now.

Meanwhile you didn't know how to breathe. He was holding your hand...HARRY WAS HOLDING YOUR HAND. You might have looked fine from outside but inside you were panicking, screaming, crying, there were butterflies in your stomach. You're greatful you didn't threw up.

You smiled at him, and the sun shone just right on your skin, and if Harry wasn't carefull he might have thought you were an angel or some heavenly thing from the way you were glowing.

"C'mon darling let's go to car" Before he dies of a heart attack...

*****

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515

They're so cute

Please Like, Comment and Reblog

I love you♡

Talk to me and tell me if you liked this here♡ I will post part 2 soon

[weird-is-life]

Sirius x animagus!Reader where after not hearing from him all summer she uses her animagus form to sneak into Grimmauld Place and check up on him. Up to you if Walburga catches them or not

Hii, ty for the request! I actually had to Google who tf is Walburga🤦‍♀️🤭but I hope this is okay. Warnings: angst, fluff, use of pet names, use of y/n (1k)

Sirius hasn't been answering your letters basically since the start of the summer, so you've decided in the middle of it, that you've had enough.

You know that sneaking into Black's house is not the best idea, but you need to find out what is up with Sirius, before you go mad over it.

It is a good thing that you were around when the boys were learning how to turn into an animagus. And even better thing is that, your animagus is a dove.

So it doesn't take you long to locate the window, that you know belongs to Sirius's room. It's already late at night, so you are surprised to see some light coming from his room.

You easily slip inside, through the cracked open window.

You find Sirius laying on his bed, reading a book with his wand creating the light.

When you turn back to your normal form, Sirius almost has a heart attack, immediately sitting up.

"What the fuc-" he yelps, but as he suddenly realises that he knows who is standing in front of him, he whispers,"y...-y/n?" His voice breaks as he says your name.

You don't wait another second and throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking both of you to the ground. You feel like crying and you're not surprised to feel your cheeks getting wet.

What catches you of guard is feeling some wetness through the fabric of your shirt. To your shock, Sirius is also crying, he holds you so tight in his arms, his face buried in your neck. You just let him, you are standing between his legs as his sits on his bed, running your hands through his hair in a way, you hope is soothing.

It takes you both quite some time to let go of each other, no words being passed between you. But you don't mind one bit, you are so relieved to see him alive and okay.

"H-how did you get here?" Sirius speaks with a groggy voice after what feels like hours. His eyes are all red, but gentle as they look all over your face.

"I used the animagus," you answer and because you can't wait any longer, you ask, "Siri, what happened? We all thought, that-that you got hurt or something. The boys were about to loose their minds, so was I."

"W-what do you mean? I thought something happened to you all, you didn't respond to any of my letters," he says and he sounds just as confused as you feel.

"What? We never got any of your letters, but we wrote to you everyday," you perplex, "how did this happen, Siri?"

Sirius looks absolutely heartbroken upon learning of this information, but also angry.

"I can't fucking believe this," he mutters madly under his breath.

"What?"

"It's definitely my mother's doing," he sighs, "I suspected, that she'd learnt about you and me, and wanted to put an end to it. She hardly tolerated the boys, she couldn't accept, they aren't on the dark side. So i think, her learning about you was finaly enough for her." You want to ask why would she do such a thing, but then you remember how different his family is to yours and how unpleasant his mother is.

"And I was stupid enough to think, that you and the boys finally came to your senses and ended our relationships. I'm not exactly the person you should be with, i mean look at my family, they are horrible people. S-so i probably am the same, they tell me i am."

His last sentence makes you want to cry some more, because you can't even imagine why would he think such a thing.

"Never, Sirius. You hear me? I nor the boys would ever do that. You can't get rid us of, rid of me that easily," you poke him in the chest playfully, even though your words are serious, " you aren't like your family and that's why we love you. You are anything, but bad Siri. Yeah?"

You stroke his cheek lovingly, hoping he gets, that you are all in, in this. And that he doesn't get to just say mean and untrue things about himself. And if he does, you'll be there every time to reassure him, that he is very very wrong.

"I love you, dove. So much," he expresses instead of answering your question. And his stare is so intense, so full of love, that you almost cry (happy tears), again.

"I love you more," you profess and quickly, you kiss him. It's not a long kiss, but it is long enough to express everything you both feel. Love. Relief. Desperation. And even tiny bit of anxiety.

You put your forehead against his, a small smile on your lips filled with nerves, "Siri, y-you need to get away from here."

"I know, sweetheart, I know, b-but where would I go? This is the only place I know as a home-"

"James's said, that I should insist to drag you away from here when I find you and to tell you, that there's a room waiting for you in his house," you assure him," and if there wasn't a place for you in Potters's home, there would definitely be one in mine."

Sirius looks a bit taken aback by this and you completely understand, he's only known this place a his 'home' for most of his life and leaving like this can't be easy.

But he nods his head slowly, surely, " okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I want to leave this place and never ever come back here," he says, feeling very certain about the decision.

"Good," you give him a tight hug," the boys are waiting for us a few streets away from here, let's get out of here."

And you do. You quickly pack all the things Sirius wants to take with him, which isn't a lot, and sneak out of there.

You can see the moment, you get away from the house, Sirius's whole posture and mood change. He walks with a light breeze and a smile, that gets bigger and bigger as you get farther away from there.

Though, his smile grows the biggest when he notices his best friends waiting for him. He takes off running towards them, while dragging you along.

The reunion is all happy tears and loud laughs, which is all you hoped for.

[astarions-bride]

Can I get spicy prompt 23 w father Anthony! Have a wonderful day 🫶🏻

Hope you like it! It was fun to write for a new character, (it's been a minute since I wrote something 😅) especially for my newest fixation. Also I have no idea how Catholic churches work so...sorry for any mistakes 😬

“You’re the only person I’d make an exception for. Count yourself lucky,” the words echoed in your head as you watched the last few stragglers hanging around the door talking and laughing, your leg bouncing with nerves and you once again wiped your damp palms on your skirt, before ducking back into the confessional booth.

The darkness was almost calming.

Allowing you to catch your breath and calm yourself before you ruined things before they even started. It seemed like an eternity before you heard the faint click of the massive doors shutting and then silence greeted you. You held your breath, unsure if you should walk out now and risk a loner drawing you into a reluctant conversation, and you grew lightheaded as your heart thundered in your chest. Your lungs burned from lack of air and you swore you saw spots before you heard someone delicately clear their throat. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden sound.

"It's all clear, darling...unless you need the confessional?" a teasing voice spoke, the familiarity making you release your breath in relief, and you gingerly slipped outside.

Father Anthony Bridge stood leaning against a pew, a smile threatening to curl his lips, and his bright blue eyes crinkled at the corners as you huffed in annoyance.

"I am dating a priest. Not much I need to confess," you replied primly, heat rising in your face as his smirk grew into a full grin, but you immediately reached for his outstretched hand.

He pulled you close until you could feel his body heat and smell his spicy cologne that you bought him and you distracted yourself from his intense gaze by fidgeting with his collar.

"Well...I am almost certain that the priest needs time in the confessional for the thoughts running through his head during communion this morning," he quipped and your own grin twitched the corners of your mouth.

You remember the bedroom eyes you gave him as he placed the wafer on your outstretched tongue, how his long slender fingers trembled and lingered for a second too long by your mouth, and how those beautiful eyes darkened. Arms sneaking around your waist brought you back to the present and his words from earlier once more echoed in the back of your head.

"Are you sure we're alone?" you asked softly, glancing around nervously, and in answer you were pulled closer to him.

His lips found yours and you immediately melted against him. His kiss was soft and sweet, even his facial hair was nothing more than a soft caress against your skin, and you felt tension ease out of you until you were nearly limp in his arms.

"Don't think I forgot about our...conversation," he eventually whispered as he pulled away, leaving you dazed and giddy, and his words had your blood sizzling in your veins.

"Are you sure we won't be disturbed?" you asked breathlessly as your hands moved up to comb nervously through his perfectly styled hair.

"Now look who's nervous," Anthony teased while gently nudging his nose against yours followed by a swift kiss to your pouting lips.

"I just don't think I could forgive myself if we got caught....having...sex in your office," you said haltingly as your face burned.

This was a much easier conversation last night when you both were naked and in bed.

"We don't have to do this today, or ever, if you truly do not want to. I'm perfectly fine with taking you back home and ravishing you there," he said, a rakish smile in place, but his eyes were serious.

At the thought of him doing just that your mind was instantly made up. You started to drag him towards his office as he laughed at your sudden urgency.

"Can't wait that long," you said before pulling him closer to kiss while walking backwards into his office door.

"I want you inside me. Now," you murmured against his lips and his answering groan was all the encouragement you needed to fumble with the door blindly.

Not wanting to break the kiss for even a second to look at where you were going.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" he muttered while reaching down to help you unlock the door, catching you before you fell through the doorway, and you smiled as he kicked the door shut firmly with his foot.

You both fumbled for the light switch, not once breaking apart, and the normally irritatingly bright lights that flooded the room suddenly seemed romantic. The sound of the lock clicking into place kickstarted your already pounding heart and your hands trembled as you tugged at his belt.

"I'll be the one dying if you don't get these pants off," you panted, finally leaning back to look down to loosen his belt, and you felt a surge of heat at the obvious tenting in his pants.

His lips met yours again, his hands pulling up your skirt while he pushed you back towards his desk, and you couldn't help but to smile. He leaned back just far enough to rest his forehead against your own, his nose bumping yours again as he caught his breath, and he made a small noise in question at your sudden smile.

"Who knew that a priest would lead me down the path of temptation?"

[annabthesolitarywriter]

IMPORTANT!

I've seen some of my moots post New Year Resolution lists/To-do lists so I thought I'd share mine. It contains important information my mutuals deserve to know.

I suppose you all don't remember my WIP The Lady of Ithilien.

Don't worry, it's a very small thing I've never really talked about. Enna? Eönwë? I don't know who these people are (just kidding, of course). Well, I have to announce that it will no longer be a WIP. It won't be a WIP for a long time, since I don't plan on posting new chapters until the latter part of this year and possibly even early 2026.

Much has changed since I posted chapter 3 back in April. I've created many, many, many OCs and some of them will appear in the story quite soon. As such, I need to have them completely (or semi-completely) figured out (full names, lineage, background, personality and role within the plot) BEFORE I start writing about them.

This is why answering character asks will be my main priority for early 2025 at the very least. I need to know who my characters are before I write them and make a mess. Please send as many asks as you can (even random questions), so that I can flesh them out as much as possible. Even stupid questions are okay. Seemingly stupid questions—I reckon questions are never stupid—are actually the best because they force me to think. Trust me, I do need to think 😂 it's the overthinking part that which I don't like.

I was re-reading the LOI prologue last night and I couldn't help but notice how different Ioreth's personality is if compared to how I wrote her character just two chapters later. She sort of has some of the same traits, but she's much more gentle and understanding in the prologue than she is later, and I don't think Enna "misbehaving" could trigger such a massive change in her personality if she hadn't shown signs of being a complete b*tch beforehand. Luckily for me, I haven't written much yet, so that issue could be easily solved by deleting the prologue and reposting it separately as a general introduction to Enna as a character. I have already copied the prologue in my AO3 drafts in case I decide go through with it, but I will wait a while longer before I make a decision since I'm notoriously volatile and change my mind every five seconds about everything. This example is just to show how writing instinctively and without thinking can impact things in the long run, so I definitely need to develop my characters. That's the first thing I intend to do this year.

Second, I need to finish the Tolkien OC Week one-shots that should've been done by the end of this past August. I am still working on the one-shot for Day 5 and I have changed my mind about the prompt for Day 6 at least a billion times. I have to expand the one for Day 7 and finish the one-shot for day 1 (Maiarin world-building is the stuff of nightmares).

Plus, I need to make sure that I don't further change my mind about things I've already written, which is something I unfortunately always end up doing. I change my mind all the time and it's honestly kind of debilitating at this point. I feel like I'll never finish anything and it's disheartening.

I legit can't stop coming up with newer ideas that I think are better than the old ones and replacing stuff I've already written with new scenarios. The thing is, my excitement wears off pretty quickly and I soon get even better ideas that quickly replace the new ones. It's a never-ending cycle which needs to stop ASAP.

I do plan to make some changes to the LOI chapters I've already posted. I'll edit the story before I resume posting later this year/next year. I've planned the following changes so far:

Possibly take out the prologue and reposting it separately [the reasons for this change are mentioned above]. Should that be the case, LOI will start with chapter 1. I haven't really made up my mind about this though. I kind of don't want to delete it because, in doing so, I would lose all my comments and comments are very important to me, but I suppose I could screenshot them, print them and frame them 😂

Change Eönwë's Quenya lines in what is now Chapter 2 to Valarin. I mean, the guy is basically in a coma and starts speaking in a second/third language? I know that Maiar and Valar are supposed to be more or less masters of all languages, but I think it would make much more sense if he muttered stuff in Valarin rather than Quenya. I did not think of this when I first wrote the chapter a year ago and I wasn't not yet obsessed with Turkish period dramas.

Carefully review the parts of Chapter 4 that I have already written and make major adjustments. Write new parts that make more sense considering the events that have just occurred story-wise (don't worry, I won't discard anything. The "current" chapter 4 will be pushed back in the timeline and possibly become Chapter 7 or 8.

Pay a lot more attention to grammar and spelling. I usually don't mind it when other writers make spelling mistakes, but when it happens to me...it's a whole other matter entirely. I've been learning English for a long time and the fact that I still make that kind of mistakes—mostly due to distraction—really irks me. I'm talking capitalization issues, wrong vowels and such. I know how to write correctly and I cannot stress how I roll my eyes whenever I spot misspelled words I perfectly know how to write. And it usually happens after re-reading the same paragraph four or five times.

Stop adding lore to asks I've already posted. How are people going to keep up if I keep adding more and more things? I literally posted the Eleniel/Celebrían ask on New Year's Day and I've edited the post twice already because I obviously came up with slightly different concepts and ideas. It's been two days and I have no doubt I'll come up with slightly different variations of things anytime I re-read the post. I don't think it's fair to the person who sent the ask (@lucifers-legions in this case, but it could be anyone) to keep changing things. I never do it on purpose (it's more of an impulse things), but I need to make decisions and stick to them. People should be able to read the answers to my asks without stressing over what I'm going to change. This applies to everyone sending asks (anons and mutuals alike), but it's even more important when someone is borrowing your characters for their story. So, I plan to be better and I really hope I will succeed. Also, constantly updating things is not good for me either (I forget half of the stuff and get confused, which is...not ideal)

Try and work on all the other asks I have queued. They include a second unusual OC/creator questions ask from @fishing4stars, four more from @lucifers-legions (three character asks and one fic-request), one from @dilettantefeminist, one from @jhelenivarsimae, one from @quillofspirit and two from @saurongorthaur9 (one character ask and one fic-request). I have started some of these and for others I had ideas which I momentarily abandoned/discarded. What I am trying to say is that I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN about these and that I'm working on them. I wish I could put things out more quickly, but...you know me by now. I'm slow. And I wish I wasn't.

Try and be more organized. I have a bunch of random files and notes that need to be neatly stored somewhere. My brain is a mess as it is and it doesn't need any more distractions.

Speaking of distractions...Tumblr (and social media in general) happens to be one. While I love scrolling through my feed here...it prevents me from actually writing and planning. Which is why I think it won't be surprising if I take even longer breaks from it. Despite this, I would like to keep in contact with all the awesome people I've met on here so. You can text me on Insta (I can give it to you via text on here) or you can email me if you like. Just text me and we'll talk about it. I'll still come back to Tumblr every once in a while (I'll never deactivate my account or things like that), but...I think I need to take drastic measures to stay focused and actually update my fics. I'll come back here to reply to the asks I get and to comments and texts I might get, but I don't think I'll ever be as active as I once was. Maybe I will be again one day, but I need to work on my concentration skills first (I honestly think I might have ADHD and I kind of would like to get it checked out. I've been doing some reading about it and most of the symptoms I have are a match for ADHD. It might also not be the case, but...I don't know.)

Update (sometime down the line) my masterlist, make it more pretty to look at and make a headcanon list to be kept in my files and also to be posted here. Most of my asks are buried somewhere and I need to keep them all in the same place so that I can easily find them. Not urgent, but also...quite urgent.

All in all, I would like to thank all of you for your continued support and thank you for putting up with me. 💕

I understand I can be a pain and I'm sorry (I'm honestly starting to think Enna and I are the same person. She's just way more unlucky)

PS: *As a testament to my overthinking, it seems I cannot stop thinking about that darn prologue (it's been LITERAL HOURS since I first queued this post and it's been haunting me ever since). Ioreth's characterization is my main issue with it at the moment, but, on second thoughts, I suppose that the whole "personality change" issue could be attributed to her acting nice while Enna was a young child in an attempt to gain her trust and manipulate her into thinking that she was way better than her mother. That's kind of plausible. She basically gaslighted her throughout her childhood and started showing her true colors when Enna grew up and started to "rebel". Okay, that's more or less fine, I suppose.

It's just that the prologue is set in Ithilien and the first chapter is literally a year later in Minas Tirith and she's already met Mairon. Mmm...🤔

Should I add a few chapters in between showing Enna's pre-drama daily life, her lessons with the most sensible tutor in Middle-earth aka Finnas, her moving to Minas Tirith with Faramir and Elboron, introduce her two main attendants and address the differences between her life in Ithilien and in Minas Tirith? Should I also include a chapter where she meets Mairon and he starts manipulating right off the bat?

I'm literally debating whether I should rewrite the story from the start [the most complicated option what will probably cause me to abandon the fic altogether], add the extra chapters between the prologue and Chapter 1 [if that ends up happening, the prologue will go back to being Chapter 1 and the other chapters will follow accordingly], or just delete the prologue and leave everything else as it is now [the easiest option]

In any case, I doubt I'll be able to post anything before next October/November, my ultimate deadline being early to mid 2026.

IF I DON'T UPDATE BY THEN...then you're allowed to consider the story officially discontinued/abandoned.

Writing LOI requires a lot of work and hopefully finishing off the one-shots first will give me inspo and motivation to work on the story. If not, Elenwë and all my OCs will only live in my mind and in the one-shots that are already posted.

Also, all the planned fics I listed on my masterlist... probably won't happen either. Let's be realistic, I'll never ever get to them in this lifetime. I get distracted too often, I can't meet deadlines and I'm never satisfied with my own work. I am never happy about it. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for writing. Maybe I should stop writing right this instant.

Lastly, I would like to thank all of my moots for their unwavering support. I have met so many wonderful people here and, even if I stop writing, I'll always keep reading and commenting!

[inkblackorchid]

I was gonna try to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. I just can't. I have to go on another Aki rant because I feel like I'm going to explode. It's about this scene:

This drives me insane and I'm putting this under a readmore. Expect incoherent screaming, all ye who enter here.

Ok. Ok. I have so many issues with this scene. Specifically, with the way it develops later, when Aki's busy trying to figure out how to save a child from being swept up by a storm:

And I just. Look, I think the fact that I already wrote a fic that basically completely turns Aki's reaction here on its head should basically tell you everything. But! But. Allow me to defend why I think this whole scene is one big heap of horseshit, with a bit of analysis of canon and actual evidence to back up my claims and shit.

The thing is, I have seen people give this scene a charitable read. I've seen people be happy for Aki to enjoy freedom from the psychic powers that have given her so much trouble in her life. And the thing is, if this were season one or season two Aki, I would be completely on board with that take. Unfortunately, this scene is preceded by the pre-WRGP arc. But more on that below.

Moreover, I can make an educated guess about what they were going for here (in terms of messaging, because this is a kids' show at the end of the day and messaging is something you have to be properly concerned with when it comes to these). I can imagine it running somewhere along the lines of "you don't need special powers to be a hero". Or even "you can grow past the hurt and/or the mistakes in your life and still become a good person or even a hero". And really, I wish I could believe that take. It's just. The writing simply doesn't add up. I wish it did, but it doesn't.

This is where we get back to the pre-WRGP arc. And not just that, actually, but the timeskip between the dark signers and pre-WRGP arc, too. Because the thing is, the last time we have seen Aki in anguish about her powers on-screen by the time the episodes above (108-109) arrive was during the DS arc, during the duel with her father, which happened during episodes 40-41. 40. to. 41. This was over sixty episodes ago at this point. And after that, that's it. As far as the DS arc is concerned, Aki's conflict about her powers is resolved the second she controls them for the first time when her father tries to interfere in her second duel against Yusei.

(Yeah, remember this moment? That was literally the last time we saw Aki in conflict with her powers.)

And I know some people would argue "but what about the dark signer duel with Misty?". And yes, I get it. Misty does accuse her of having murdered her brother with her powers and Aki gets incredibly (understandably) upset about it. But the thing is, we know that's fake, and during the duel, Aki knows that, too. She goes as far as insisting that there were no casualties at the duel where Misty thinks Toby died.

(Yes, I have screenshot proof for literally every dumb little thing in this show, why do you ask?)

It's only after Misty keeps pushing and backing her into a corner during their duel (and literally gaslighting her) that she begins to believe Misty's version of the events. Which is why this doesn't "count" as Aki being in conflict with her powers the way her second duel with Yusei does. At least not to me, feel free to debate me over this if you wanna.

Okay, but what am I driving at here? Fair question. Let me hop back to after the dark signers' defeat.

So, we know there's a half-year timeskip between the DS and the pre-WRGP arc (which was allegedly enough for NDC to connect the city and Satellite, deal with all the social issues that entailed, and also build a giant duel network, which I will never believe but I digress). Unfortunately, what exactly our main characters did during that timeskip is never addressed, it's just kind of there to segway immediately into the WRGP setup. So the only thing we can do is guess at what they got up to based on where they are as people by the time we get back to them during the start of the pre-WRGP arc. So where's Aki at when we see her again after the dark signers' defeat then?

Oh, she's attending duel academy again now! That's nice. So that probably means the student body isn't scared shitless of her anymore and she's not being ostracised anymore.

Wow, she's an exceptional student! That means she must be a really good duellist. So she got the hang of her powers, then?

...Ah.

Do you start to see my problem? Past the DS arc, we are not being given any indication that Aki is still struggling with her powers or still resents them or herself like she used to. You could be forgiven for thinking that she's healed in the meantime. She's fine. She has accepted herself and can now use her powers safely. Which makes her later claiming "she no longer needs that cursed power" a bit... hmmm. And another thing. The fact that she refers to it as "cursed" rubs me the wrong way. After the defeat of the dark signers, she literally never does that even a single time before the moment in the hospital during the storm. (I'd post all the screenshots to prove it here but for one, tumblr doesn't allow it, and for two, I hope you'll believe I did my due diligence without it.)

And it just irks me. If the powers are still a "curse" to Aki by episodes 108-109, why give us the moment above?

And why give us this moment, where she saves Sherry, Yusei, and herself with those powers?

And why give us this moment, where she literally uses her powers at a public event to protect people, and is evidently not cussed out as a witch for it? Neither of these moments do anything to indicate that Aki still hates her powers. They don't indicate that she sees them as a "beast of burden" or necessary evil of a sort, either. On the contrary, I don't think it would be too out there to claim all these moments make her look rather badass. Like a small celebration of "hey, now she can finally use these powers for cool and not evil things!".

Yet, somehow, we still end up with episodes 108-109, where the writers expect the audience to buy that Aki was secretly still hoping she might eventually be rid of these powers after all. And maybe this would be easier to swallow if there weren't also the fact that they later literally go back on it to add to this confusing mess. Because the thing is, we all know the finale scene after the three-way duel with Sherry where Aki protects them with her powers (which have suddenly reappeared, aha!) again and also finds out she can use these powers to heal. So not only is the framing of Aki suddenly being glad to have lost her powers extremely weird, it's also temporary anyway!

So my question is. What was the point. What was the point of all this if the writers ended up going back on it anyway? Because I want to believe there's a reasonable, charitable explanation that also makes sense with what they show us in terms of Aki's characterisation past the DS arc, but if there is, I cannot for the life of me find it. If anything, this whole thing feels like it completely contradicts itself.

First, they tie up Aki's conflict with her powers with a neat bow after she manages not to hurt her father anymore. Then, they launch into the pre-WRGP arc and blatantly tell us that she can now control them. No questions asked. Indisputable fact, and we get nothing that contradicts that, either. Then, we get a bunch of setup showing her using her powers, too, and what's more, we get other significant players in the cast taking notice of it, too, as though it might become relevant. Because Sherry isn't the only one who gets curious about Aki's powers.

(I will never understand how Placido's hood works together with his horn-thingies and have stopped trying at this point.)

The literal, central antagonists of season 3-4 also take notice of it. Like that means something. Like it'll come up again later. But, well. We know it doesn't.

Instead, she suddenly loses her powers out of nowhere (and we are never given a reason for it, either, which does nothing to make this writing decision seem anymore understandable). And, look. The thing that upsets me most about this isn't even the fact that it feels a little inconsistent with Aki's character post DS arc. If that were the only problem, I could still suspend my disbelief far enough to go along with the idea that she secretly still hated her powers quietly in the background and wanted them gone anyway. What really pisses me off is that it reeks of zero setup and knee-jerk decisions in the writing room ten miles against the wind. If they wanted us to believe Aki's glad to be rid of her powers, why give absolutely no indication that she's at odds with them past episode 41 anymore? Why let her state outright that she can now control them? Why show her on several occasions using them to her own and other people's benefit, the way a hero would? And if her powers are supposed to vanish and it's supposed to make sense, why is there no reason for it? They already used cyborg timetravel at that point, they could have literally come up with any nonsense related to that and it would have probably made at least more sense than just letting her powers vanish for no reason at all. Also, if the message behind all this is supposed to be either of the things I mentioned way above—if the idea the audience is supposed to be getting is either "you don't need special powers to be a hero" or "your past and/or your mistakes don't define you and you can heal and grow past them"—why reintroduce the powers, which, in this reading, would be a symbol of Aki's pain, of her mistakes and her dreaded past, at the very end, during the finale, then? It just doesn't add up, and it frustrates me to no end.

The writers wanted to make the moment Aki realises she can help people (well, one person, a child) without her powers seem triumphant so bad, but every time I watch it, it just completely falls flat for me. This isn't a triumph, this is a hot mess of bad writing decisions. All I'm saying is, if they wanted me to buy that Aki would be happy about losing her powers here, they were missing a hefty amount of setup and also shouldn't actually have given them back to her during the finale (no, not even as healing powers).

Moreover... I'll freely admit I also have a personal problem with this scene. I've seen this show and these episodes several times by now, and during my last rewatch and my current one, something about this scene has been creeping up on me, and I think I've figured out what that is now. So I talked about the possible message behind this scene already, and the reading I've given so far was fairly forgiving. But the thing is, there is another reading that has occurred to me that I can't unsee anymore. As much as you could make a valid case that this scene is trying to say that people don't need to be special to be heroes and save others, that past mistakes don't define us, and yadda yadda, there's also a much, much less pleasant way to interpret this scene: "You're better off if you don't stand out." And I'll freely admit, this interpretation probably occurs to me specifically because I was considered a "weird kid" at school, singled out by bullies, and avoided by "popular" kids (take a wild guess why I relate to Aki so much!). And over the years, you learn to downplay that "weirdness" because you become desperate to be accepted by someone, anyone. And given everything the show gives us about Aki's relationship with her powers, it'd make sense that this idea would be buried somewhere in her head, too. It's better not to stand out. Don't be weird. Sand down your edges so there's no chance people could get upset about them. You're better off being whatever everyone else considers "normal" than being whoever you are. It doesn't matter if this is a part of who you are, just become someone else. Someone who's easier to accept. Who's easier to love. You don't need your "weirdness".

You don't need this cursed power.

You know, the "cursed power" that Aki had from the beginning of the show, that was a part of her for years, and that the show didn't give any indication could vanish. The power that we were led to believe would just be there forever, because it was simply a part of Aki, not a conscious thing she (or the narrative) could choose. The power that we were, for all intents and purposes, led to believe she had mastered and maybe even accepted along the way. But sure, let's get rid of that. It's better if she's """normal""". And more convenient for the writers, too! After all, if she doesn't have powers anymore, they can't cause plotholes (of which the WRGP already has enough) and can't possibly give Aki any more badass moments, which makes it that much easier to sideline her. And let's package this weird, shittily set-up moment in a message about how she's better off without her powers anyway. She's happy! It makes complete sense that she's happy. She's finally normal like everyone else. Ignore the way people who might relate to the character could possibly interpret this moment differently. And ignore how none of the writing surrounding this moment makes sense.

...Sigh.

Okay, I think I've let off enough steam. I just. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I cannot for the life of me view this scene in a favourable way and watching it today made me want to chew glass tbh. My only solace is that they went back on this trainwreck writing decision in the finale. Which, really, just makes this whole mess really, really pointless, doesn't it?

For anyone who stuck around this long, thanks for reading. Sorry if this got extra-rant-y. Idk man, I just think “it’s worth the effort to accept yourself as you are, even with all the bits you might not like at first” would have been a better message than whatever this turned out to be.

[kittsyspaw]

⌇ Sinu Han x F!Reader

Oh, is there someone else or not? 'Cause I wanna keep you close. I don't wanna lose my spot 'Cause I need to know if you're hurting him or hurting me. ୨୧

╰┈➤ is there someone else? -The Weeknd

- This is a half-smut chapter from my lookism x reader book on wattpad (Loveism– Kittsyspaw) i deleted it there and decided to write it here for the people who wanted it.

- This is an old Smut that I wrote so don't mind any mistakes or lack of description please!

- You were working with the workers (in case you're confused on why you're in the underground place)

WARNINGS !! : Cockblocker, Begging, Dry thigh humping, Sub!Reader–Dom!Character, Kinda Dom? Reader at the end, Crying etc. (BTW IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ IF YOU'RE UNDER THE AGE OF 18+)

"Oh god, I failed geography how I'm I supposed to know where i am?" You stared at the many, many corridors.

While you were walking, you saw a head peak out one of the door making you stop in your tracks, sinu immediately pulled his head inside, waiting for you to walk past so he could snatch you.

"Nah..jit tryna kidnap me, thats crazy..." You took slow steps, backing to the other side of the hall so the man couldn't grab you, it that was his plan, either way, you had seen him.

"Dammit! You saw me! And I thought I was hidden very well" he sulked making you chuckle.

Sinu signaled you to come closer, rolling his eyes when you only stepped a few steps towards so he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside the room.

He trapped you against the door "Did we ever meet before? I swear I know you" a hand reached for the mask that covered your face.

Slowly pulling away the oni mask, his eyes widened when he saw the familiar face, Sinu stared at you in shock, of course he knew you! He couldn't remember where or when, but he definitely knew you.

"Y/n?! Y/n right??! I- I know you!" He shook you by the shoulders, sinu didnt remember you having a scar, but who cares?

"So you do remember me? I missed you, sinu" Sinu's chest ached when you gave him a sad frown, name leaving your mouth laced with the softest tone.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, hugging you tightly as if you'd disappear any second.

You felt a part on top of your head get heavy, tears. "I can't remember when but I swear I remember you, I could never forget you" he cried, burying his face into your head, taking in the sweet aroma of your shampoo.

Sinu pulled away and traced the scars on your face "what happened y/n?" He asked, his eyebrows knitting, his face falling into a worried one when you started tearing up.

"H-hey! Is it a personal question? I'm sorry!" You let out a laugh "No! I'm just glad you remember me...and nothing happened don't worry."

You really were...having no idea what happened to him and the last time you saw your childhood friend – he didnt even recognize you which made everything worse.

His cheeks turned red when you grinned up at him, the corners of your mouth curling in the most sweet way he's seen.

Its as if...his heart melted right there, how can someones smile just bright up his day like that?

"Oh shit, I better get going-" "no!" Sinus lips tugged down in a frown.

"Don't go.." The circus was starting soon too, but sinu didn't want to, staying with you is better for him, he wanted to feel you again.

"Sinuu, the chairman is calling me, we'll probably meet someday again" He gasped, "And what if we don't?! No!" The big man hugged you again, prisoning you in his embrace.

You rested your head against his chest, you didnt want to go either, but Eugene would probably scold you the whole time and you didnt want to hear any of it.

"What about the neko girl? Didnt she call you or something"

"no...?"

"Hm, who even is she?"

"The CEO"

Your next words left as a simple mutter beneath your steady breath, it wasn't meant for your childhood friend to hear– but he did.

"oh. Explains, she's obsessed with you.."

"What was that?"

"Nothing"

You and sinu stared deeply into each others eyes, not breaking the contact. "Sinu, did you know that I met Samuel?" You regret saying that, remembering that he forgot everything for some reason.

"Samuel...? Samuel?" "Yeah, a friend of mine!" "Ohhh, thats...cool." He gave a bitter smile

"is he a guy?"

"Yeah!"

"Stay away from him! All they want to do is play you!"

The cries made you chuckle, he was still caring as ever, well he never even liked you being around a living being who was a male because apparently 'They're all bad for you'

While time was passing, you tried to figure out why he forgot almost everything, maybe an accident? 'He does have new scars..'

The man even took of his shirt just for you to see, his body going stiff at the fingers that ran over the scars on his chest, shoulders and stomach.

Sinu kept you in his embrace as you sat on his lap "You're spacing out, what wrong?" You shook your head "nothing, just thinking about the lecture I'm boutta get"

"Well, I really have to go now :(" you shut off your phone after the message Eugene sent you "Wait! Aren't you gonna pepper my face with kisses? Like back then-?"

Sinu clutched his head after something slipped out, did you even do that? What was he blabbering about? Did he make you uncomfortable?

Your smile widened, The smile taking over after calming his train of thoughts.

"of course!!" The black haired man laughed while you gave his whole face small pecks.

You looked at him, confused when he grabbed your face. "You don't know...how much I missed you" you parted your lips as Sinu came nearer.

Did he do this before? It was so...familiar...it was his head– playing out an image where you participated in, your thighs were hugging his hips and–!

He gripped the flesh of yout upper legs when your lips locked, both your eyes closing to feel the passionate, long lasting kiss.

Sinus eyes shot open when your lips quivered against his, worry working him up when fat tears ran down your chin.

"Baby...why are you crying?" He wiped away the crystal clear tears as you sniffled "sorry I got emotional its just-" your voice cracked, everything that happened so far playing in your mind, it's heartbreaking, it all was.

Sinus eyebrows knitted, did he make you cry? Was it someone else? His fist clenched, who was it? "Tell me what's wrong?" He cupped your face, hands shaking.

"A lot, a lot happened, it hurts, sinu..."

Sinu couldn't help but swallow the guilt of feeling joyful, you, the girl he used to cherish and adore, was gripping onto him and calling out his name for comfort.

Sinu held you in a welcoming embrace "I don't know what's the situation, but I'm sure it'll get better, Trust me! My guts are never wrong!" He posed making you laugh, the genuine laugh he hadn't heard in years, it made blood rush to his cheeks.

Sinu was thankful your sad face disappeared and got replaced with a cheerful one. You wrapped your arms around sinus neck pulling him towards you to continue what he started.

You whined against him when Sinu grinded your heat against the meaty surface of his rough thigh by the hips. Pouting when he broke the kiss, you stared at him confused.

"Tell me...tell me how much you missed me"

the man demanded, looking at you with desire that he hadn't to speak up about, it was all shining up his eye that was half lidded, focusing on you.

"Sinu! Please! I missed you so much, so fucking much! It hurt when you didnt know me at first, I thought you forgot everything between us..." Your brain was hazy, letting out your heart as he didnt stop the grinding.

Drool slipped by your lips, dripping down your chest. "Aw, baby...What do you want? Tell me, I'll give you anything" he pecked your lips, chuckling with the time you went dumb for him.

"Please nghh...Sinu! Please..fill me up...I need you inside of me" you sobbed when your cunny got sensitive from the flicking sensation, the inner part of your legs was burning up.

Sinu felt his bulge twitch, it got uncomfortable for him in his tight suit pants. Something about your whines and begging made him feel dizzy, you were so fucking beautiful, crying out for his cock to fill you up.

He wasn't crazy when he said that you could have anyone you wanted, lulling up him like a siren for her desires – that was you.

You flinched when your phone buzzed, shakily taking it out to see Eugene's name through the pleasure tears.

"S-sinu...stop. the chairman..." Yours words fell deaf to the muscular man smirked, wasn't this gonna be fun?

"Why don't you answer lovie? Don't make him wait" you nodded hesitantly, listening to the soothing voice that guide you.

"H-hello!" You bit down on your bottom lip out of embarrassment when your voice cracked. "Y/n? What's wrong? Where are you?" "I'm..I can't find the...exit!" You held in all moans when you felt the coil in your stomach about to snap due to the lava bursting in your guts

"What are you doing?...want me to send someone to get you?" "Mhmmh..." You didn't realize what you were saying and hung up, your mind too overwhelmed by the attention you were getting from Sinu.

You let out a loud, frustrated cry when he stopped the pace, you were seconds away from having your high. the tears that build up your eyes fell down, damping up the fabric they landed on.

"...why did you stop?" You pouted, one flick the aching bundle of nerves could make you melt, but Sinu was so mean!

"Sorry...I think we should go. There's someone who's waiting for you."

He didnt want to stop either, he desperately wanted to see your lewd face but he got a text from Neko while he was keeping you in ecstasy, telling him to get ready.

It angered him, after all those years he finally got a precious moment with you but it got completely torn apart by jealous people.

Sinu was sure that you two weren't gonna see each other anymore and it hurt, piercing right through his heart.

He raised an eyebrow when you straddled his hips, smirking down at him with a glint in your eyes. "What are ya' planning to do?"

A sharp breath was sucked in by Sinu sensing your warm mouth placed on the delicate skin of his neck, sucking until a purplish hickey was painted on it.

With a last giggle, you got up, running towards the door– pointing at his phone as you waved him goodbye.

Fucking hell, you were gonna be the end of him.

Sinu fell back on the bed, his hand running through his hair, regretting the decision he made on letting you go.

He was very messy, a unbelievably annoying bulge judging against his tight pants. The man let out a breath, imagining what type of faces you would make it he had ruined you.

The male was still frustrated, no thought, you left him like this. Sinu got up, walking towards the shower to take a cold bath.

If you found this interesting, you can continue on wattpad (I put the name above n stuff) Its a various x reader and has crossovers with V-hit and Jujutsu kaisen (≧∇≦)

Lmk if you want me doing more Smuts

[eriexplosion]

MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

[killacissa]

Enid Sinclair Certified Paw-Er Ranger

Character Art Credit: GhxstyBoo

It was a cold night at Nevermore, Like any other Enid would be laying on her bed legs in the air waving back and forth as she wrote the latest gossip likely about her Bestie Forestie Wednesday Addams who for some reason was rather absent as of late, She assumed it was for some investigation she was up to, Which is why it fueled her fire for her recent story, Wednesday was on the hunt for something big like aliens! Or something of that nature, she wasn't exactly sure. Eventually though the boredom overtook the young pup once again and she decided to head out venturing into the night mostly to sneak out and grab some food because well, Werewolves tend to eat an all meat diet and while she had lunch werewolves have twice the appetite a normal human does thanks to there gift of, well... growing twice the size of a normal human. While on her expedition to find some nutrition she happened the hear a voice calling out for help, It wasn't normally her first instinct to help but for some reason this time she was compelled to. She sprinted outside with a leap found the person who looked to be wearing some sort of armor they were surrounded on all sides by what looked to be.. grey men? either that or some weird gang in grey spandex. "Another Brat? Sent by that moron no doubt" A deep gravelly voice said. "Ew Gross!" Enid said noticing the voice came from a creature covered in slime with spikes protruding from it's back. "What are you? Night Security?" Asked the creature. "W-Well actually I'm uh- Nevermore Student-" The grey men seemed to not be amused and charged at her and almost as if on instinct she was able to claw at one with her nails and sent the to the floor before throwing another at a tree. "Did I mention I was a werewolf?" Suddenly the creature and more grey men stepped forward. "Take this!" The being on the floor said tossing her a blue glowing object. "What is it?" She asked. "Your destiny!" Suddenly it glowed brighter then the sun in the palm of her hands as she was engulfed and wrapped in a suit of armor. "Not another one!" The creature shouted before rushing at her and within a second with a claw to its chest it was down and out. "Woah! This is like! The coolest thing to happen to me! Wait till Wednesday hears about this!" She began fighting the rest of the grey men who mindlessly still followed the fallen creature's order. It was light work not even the numbers advantage meant a thing to this fusion of Tech and Supernatural ability, Once they were defeated she turned to the person she saved. "Okay dish! What are you? And what am I?" She asked now giddily bouncing up and down her suit's cosmetic wolf tail swaying as she did. "You are... a Power Ranger... Last of our kind... Take the honor with pride... You can't tell anyone or they'll be hurt... You must stop the evil one..." The person said before they faded away leaving Enid confused as to what that meant. "A.. Power Ranger?... Power.. Paw... Paw-er Ranger! That's me!" She said now before the suit disappeared back into the blue object giving to her, now revealed to be a wolf's head being made of some sort of crystal. She got on her phone to call Yoko but remembered what they told her... what a rip! She couldn't even tell anyone. Enid just looked at the crystal and placed it into her pocket before leaving back to her room.. however she did wonder.. who did they mean by the evil one?

[the-voldsoy]

Remnants post-ep 15 thoughts/theories/etc

My GOD this was a hefty one . I have a lot to say

Ok to start, some notes on the episode. Mostly focusing on A/Sir because the Remnants themselves are a very different beast

Sir keeps saying "Shelved" instead of "Reshelved"

A has been remade hundreds of times (minimum)

Sir seems to be able to control A's actions to an extent, coaxing him into starting the Remnant

[I'm going to need to trawl through the episodes again to gather all the information I can about Perry]

[I would quite like to make little information profiles for reoccurring characters]

I've already seen a theory I quite like from the.vast.general on Discord that Perry is Death, which I do quite like

The Apprentice was Perry

A thinks he's being kept here for punishment, Sir seems to disagree

A tries to discard himself, Sir seems to save him from the fire

---

The capitalised letters in the captions read, in total:

HE IA M OR EOR LESS MST HAS ILTOT ALL YLIGO NENT ODUS THERE

This can be separated into two sentences:

He more or less has totally gone to dust

I am still in here

(They can also be found here, separated into the sentences)

I can only assume the first sentence is from Sir (about A), and the second is the Apprentice (about himself). This code being intertwined in this way could speak to the two of them being interconnected in a deeper way than just where they work, but I'll get to that later.

---

now, let's go through my theory post from last time and correct anything that might need it. A lot of them are still unclear or haven't been opposed yet, so I'll just skip them (unless they're specifically relevant)

first, more on things we learned from e11:

All the names that are assumed to be the same person: Lord du Perier-1/13, Theodore du Perier("Teddy")-7/15, Edward Pocket-3/9/15, Ted-10, Perry Wiseman-15, Basil-13, Edwin Peterson-13 (probably), and the Apprentice. I may be missing a couple, but I will make a timeline for him as soon as I can :)

On a related note, here's a link to the spreadsheet I made of all the characters. It's colour-coded <3

Sir was hesitant about the Apprentice reading e7 because Amelie was his daughter (when he was Teddy). Explains why he said "It's her" when he started reading it, and why he keeps her Remnant under his bed.

A mentions (e10) that Sir burned away something of his. At the end of e15, Sir pulls him out from the fire he throws himself into.

→ Additionally, (I can't remember if it's explicitly said in the episode) but I'm like, 90% sure that the Dust is discarded Remnants

→→And also, the way that Remnants are discarded is that they are incinerated I think

Still unsure what the veil is though. Maybe the thing that's stopping A from knowing who he was in life?

Again, Sir seems to be treating A like an experiment, something he's doing for no particular reason. Which raises multiple questions

→How did Sir get access to A? Was he just the first Remnant Sir happened to see when he decided to do this experiment? Or if it's specifically him, why? (I have a few theories on why but we'll get to them later)

→Why did he do it? Is it to test his own choices, or to compare it to what a human would choose, or something else entirely?

brief intermission because I need to point out this one from last time that I forgot I wrote. Oh Boy I Had No Idea

Anyways. That is confirmed on both accounts, we know this now, but it does, again, raise the question of why *him*. Sir does say that A is "specific" though (e11)

A is a Remnant that must be read [by Sir]. Don't have much to add to this tbh I just need to note it down

Now, just the theories:

I still don't think Sir knows what he's doing. But! I have more opinions about him.

I think he is more powerful than we think/is shown, and he may-or-may-not have been made with TF&LP. He knows *what* to do, but not necessarily *why*

I no longer think he was a previous Apprentice, though. I think that a big reason that A is who he is and the difference between him and Sir is that A has humanity that Sir doesn't. A was human, once, but Sir wasn't. That being said, Sir does seem to try to develop a sense of humor at points, but other than that he is very...robotic?

He also mentions he doesn't remember things in the same way that A does, whatever that means

He definitely has control over A in a big way, though. Not just with making him start a Remnant but with power; making him "restart", for example

Maybe Sir and A are a yin-and-yang of sorts for each other

Repeating a thought from last time: It is possible that neither Sir nor A are actual people, but rather constructs made by a larger force, or simply just concepts given bodies.

Now, the Apprentice. He is - was - human once, yes, but this is still entirely possible. As was pointed out before, he might not be an actual person. I do have a lot of thoughts about Perry; the eyes (the "windows to the soul") being different; the way he has a habit of showing up almost anywhere; how different he is in each Remnant, not just in name but also profession -- the one that comes to mind the most is where he's a solicitor by the name of Edward Pocket (e3 - ring)

All these things being vaguely inconsistent is interesting and definitely means something. Don't know what, though<3

I'm still unclear on why Sir didn't want A to read e6 (fountain pen), but I feel like the answer is glaringly obvious already. Is it because there's an explicit birth, and that's the antithesis to what they do? Or is it just one that Gets Him for some reason?

Things to also note:

“A man of many faces, a story of many fates” is the show's tagline. "a man of many faces" likely refers to A, but also likely has multiple meanings 

“The Apprentice soon discovers that when we judge others, we often expose truths about ourselves.” - quote from the RQ site. He is certainly judging other people, and Sir is learning about him from that. He also exposed his own truth to himself, about his Life

--

What is the dust?

As I said before, I reckon it's the ashes of burned Remnants. It can be assumed these are the discarded ones, but it isn't confirmed

→Or, alternatively, it could just be *A's* Remnant. Although, that is more unlikely. His definitely makes up some of it, but maybe not all

→however at some point A goes to read a heart-shaped rock, and it crumbles to dust under his hand

The dust does seem to help him at points, leading him places and giving him a Remnant at some point. Maybe e6?

I'm pretty sure it's implied that the dust is sentient at some point, but I can't remember when

It is also described often in the transcripts as "scuttling", like it's a creature

And we cannot forget the message, "He more or less has totally gone to dust"

If we assume the "he" is A, what does it mean? A is slowly slipping away? His Remnant is partially burned, so it makes sense if *that* is turning to dust

It also seems to be working against Sir in some ways, making A understand who he was

--

Reshelve or discard

that is the question !!

No but seriously, theory time

The show is about reincarnation. I don't remember if it's explicitly said to be about that, but "When we die, the remnants of us return to the First and Last Place..." is a description of reincarnation

So one of the options must mean to give the souls a new life - likely reshelve, if discarded Remnants are burned (but !! this is not confirmed so do not take it as fact!!)

The difference between "shelve" and "reshelve" is really important to me. Shelve implies there was an original decision, so why does it need to be done again?

A bit of a crack theory, but is it A being reincarnated instead, under all the different monikers ??

Or alternatively, are the souls being reshelved being taken out of the cycle? Are they trying to make a collection of the 'best' souls?

In that case, the discarded ones might be the ones being sent back to live again, so they can have another chance at being good?

I'm sure I had more theories than this but I can't currently remember them

Ok I'm ending this here because the episode is coming out in a couple of days for patreons, and it has already been sat in my drafts since e15 came out ! If I don't post it now it might be another 2 weeks before I remember again :) I will make one of these for the Remnants themselves, but that may still be a couple of weeks <3

[artigas]

in many respects, these past few weeks in my phd program have been some of the most miserable in my entire life. institutions, academia included, cannot love you back and i am learning that in very personal, difficult, and tangible ways. there have been so many moments where i've completely and utterly understood why people give up on doctorate programs. ever since passing comps, i feel like i've had one moment of thinking i can't possibly be more stressed or anxious or uncomfortable until i'm confronted with the next. but here are some small joys:

i won an award for that dracula paper i wrote about blood transfusions. second place in the entire graduate program! hurray!

i published an essay last winter and now i'm in conversation with the person that essay is about, who not only read and loved the paper, but might want to commission me to write more. i have his number in my phone. i might have a really stunning professional opportunity on the other end of our scheduled phone conversation!

i got invited to a conference that is in a totally different field than what i studied. this could be because the conference is that desperate for papers (a real possibility) but maybe this also means that my Poe paper wasn't all that bad if my first attempt at writing something in the medieval field was good enough to warrant being invited to present it. i submitted my paper and haven't yet gotten the confirmation that it got accepted, but the prospect of going to my first conference -- and being personally invited to do so no less! -- is really nice

last, i applied to my first conference (in which i wasn't directly invited to attend), too!! there's a horror conference in new mexico that i'd kill to go to (no pun intended, i'm writing about a slasher film for this one lol) and well .. who knows if they'll accept but i'm so proud of myself for applying in the first place!

UPDATE: I JUST GOT AN EMAIL TELLING ME THAT MY HORROR PAPER GOT ACCEPTED THE SAME FUCKIN DAY I APPLIED. AHH!!

this is all to say ... i have to remember what a good friend said today: just because i'm having a horrible time doesn't mean i'm horrible at this. i gotta muscle through. i can do hard things. it won't be this difficult forever.

[windsweptinred]

Shipper tag game

Thank you for the tag @marvagon, you glorious human 💖💖💖.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

None. I may not be as passionate about them as I once was. But I still hold all my past ships near and dear to my heart. I'll even occasionally nip into their tags on A03 and have a dip into newer fics.

What ship would you consider your first one?

Daiken/Kensuke from Digimon 02. I remember watching it on Saturday morning and wondering if anyone else was seeing what I was seeing. That led me to discover Fanfiction.net. And the rest is history...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

My very first full length fic was Corinthiel, posted here on Tumblr. My first fic posted on AO3 was Dreamling, and I wrote both last year. I am a very, very, very late comer to fanfic 😅. I'm honestly much more at home drawing fanart then writing. But will occasionally give into temptation, when an idea obbsessively hounds me to the point of insanity.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

I genuinely can't. 😅 I remember it was probably on deviantart.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

I try desperately to stay out of ship discourse. To me people's ships are their joy... And I've got no interest in being a theif of joy. If there's something I want to see more of in the fandom, like a rare pair I'm fond of, I just try and create content and hope someone else joins in (@bobbole loves you 💚🤍😅) . If it's not for me, I just keep scrolling on by.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Again, no. I've always been happy to pick and mix my ships. I have my favorites ofcourse. But I've never outright refused to dip my toe into any ship. Maybe if it ventured into an area I personally deemed problematic. But mostly, I'm happy to try anything once.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

I'm currently reading Remy Lebeau x Logan fanfic from Xmen. 😅 What sent me in that direction, I do not know. But I've found some amazing new fics in and amongst revisiting some old favourites.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I can proudly say until recently I've never had an OTP. Being a multishipper makes that kind of hard. But I don't know, I may be in too deep with Corinthiel. I'm not sure I could picture Danny and the Second Corinthian with anyone else but each other now. (Curse you @ibrithir-was-here. See what you have wraught! 😆). Them and Charmes (Charon x Hermes) from Hades. Because why would you split up the professional associates like that?! (Again very much your fault @mashumaru 😆) , Damn, I guess I've got OTPs now. If there's an established, happy couple in canon, most of the time I'll respect that and leave them be. So I guess that kind of counts too.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Again no. If the juggernaut ship of a fandom doesn't really tickle my fancy, I'll sometimes stare forlornly at it. And sigh like a sad bohemian poet. But that's all content envy and I know it. 😆

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

🤔 I didn't dislike it, but I never really ventured near Corintheus until I started shipping Corinthiel. That made me backtrack and consider Morpheus and the original Corinthian's relationship from an entirely different perspective.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

No I don't think so. As far as know they're all still alive, well and for the most part, living in peace and harmony in their respective fandoms.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Bookend, Destiny and his Book. The old book and chain. Living their best, grumpy old married couple, life together. @jazzy-a 🤜🤛🤣.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Most recently was Dreamling. I'm a bit of fandom butterfly at the moment, fluttering between multiple fandoms, waiting for the next all consuming passion to strike me down. I read, and reread ANYTHING Corinthiel 😅. But of all time?..... I couldn't say. I revisit so many of my ships so often.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Two bastards in love will always be my favourite. I'd love to boldly claim it's all about two morally dubious rogues, being despicable in the kinkiest ways together. 😅 But I know it's more about two people, often misunderstood and maligned... Finding a deep sense of belonging with each other. But I'm an eclectic sort and I've got a lot ships that don't fit that category I still love dearly.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Absolutely nothing outright. I'll sometimes go off a ship a little once it reaches that point where fanon locks in too tight around it. But I think that's a very me problem, as I crave variation/new experiences/ideas. I'll still love the ship, I'll just know that's just my time to move onto something new and come back and visit every so often.

I'm tagging @martybaker @thelostkelpie @missingrache @thirrith @zigzag-wanderer @lucienne-thee-librarian and @tickldpnk8 and anyone mentioned above. If you want to have a go. 😁

[androgynousblackbox]

The horror of our love. 1 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Luci

"By all accounts, it looked to be a normal notebook. It weighted like one, it felt like one. You could even opened it and go through the pages as you would with any other. On the page immediately after the cover there was a seal reading "This journal belong to" with the name Alastor Abaddon first written on the dotted line, then scratched to put instead Alastor Magne.

The actual difference started once you wrote on any of them. If one wanted, they could use any utensils for it, but the words were better received when using a quill and ink. The letters dissapeared in a matter of seconds and soon enough a response would appear right underneath. It didn't had to be a question either. You could write something on the most horrid grammar possible and the words written would mercilessly tell correct you, usually with some insult throw in the mix. If the offending bad grammar continued, the notebook would close by itself and anyone opening it up again would be greeted with another sarcastic remark about the clear lack of literacy going on.

But that would only happen if someone was just fucking around with it, testing it like a new toy and wasting everyone's time, wouldn't it? Absolutely not the thing someone should be doing with something like this. So instead it's mostly used to answer questions. It can't answer everything, and some questions it doesn't want to answer even though probably knows it, but a good deal it can.

Some of those inquiries are easy.

Did you really belonged to person whose name is written on the front?

Yes.

What can you tell me about him?

Anything.

Anything like what?

Sometimes it's not letters that emerges from the pages. Sometimes there are some scribbles. Mainly faces with sharp teeth and smiles that extend far beyond what any real face would allow. That was the answer to the last question. Point taken: you have to be a little more especific than that. It doesn't like it when you are too vague.

The first time that we got it and we realized what it was, after the initial surprise, it asked us who we were. So I wrote it. We were students of professor Magne that went to Hogwarts before it closed. The journal took a while to write back.

A professor?

When those words vanished, others came underneath.

What happened at the school?

I should have throw away that thing the moment that came out. Now is that I see that. The whole point of this is to find out what happened that night, the one right before any student came back to start a new year. There was no witnesses left. All the other teachers, the headmaster, everyone gone. There was so much blood everywhere.

I don't really need to go into too much details about it, do I? It was all over the papers. People still remembered it on each anniversary. People keep making theories about what happened to this day, because that is the thing. Nobody knows what happened. The only thing we do know for sure is that professor Magne was not among the deceased. They found a body that looked like him, chopped into pieces and half eaten like everyone else, but that only lasted as far as the effect of the potion wore off. I had to ask a few favors in order to find that out. No, to make sure that it was exactly what I was thinking of. I am not proud of it. This is exactly the kind of shit we are going to keep off the records if we do decide to go public about this.

Grave digging is not my kind of hobby.

If that motherfucker really did all I know he did, then fuck it. I will do what it takes. If he is dead, then good, I was wrong and I don't have to think about this any more. But if the body that is buried under the headstone with his name doesn't match, then he better be preparing his ass because I am coming for it.

The body that was buried there was too short. The suit that they have put on him for what was supposed to be his resting place was sagging all over it, and not because it had been years since it happened. I remember professor Magne towering all over us even in our final year. That wasn't him. I don't know who that is. Some homeless person, maybe? There was no report of any person missing nearby, none that matched that matched with what we… I found.

That is how all of this started.

He is still out there. Probably doing the same shit he did to all of those people right as I speak. The same shit that he was doing at school even before that night. There was never any other monster who just got hungry and escaped. It's not about proof, not that alone. He needs to be stopped. If there is anything that can help us towards that goal, I will do it. I should have done something when I had my suspicions, because I always knew something wrong with that guy, but I was just some dumb kid back then who had no resources, no connections, nothing. I might still be dumb, but ain't no kid no more. I can move some strings of my own now.

The notebooks was the first one of the pieces that we discovered. When they cleaned up the whole castle, it was discovered among the books in one of the libraries. Everyone just assumed that it was the diary of one of the tragically deceased victims, so they send it to the last relative that professor Magne. Problem is, he didn't had any relative left so it kinda got lost in the system. That gave us a good headache for a while until we found it on a second hand store. The lady that sold it to us said she received it from a friend on the Ministery that needed to get rid of a bunch of old stuf that was just occupying space. She had no idea what it was. She never tried to write on it.

We did. We could have burn it, turn it into ashes, and hope that fucker, wherever he is, can feel every second of those pages being consumed. See if he likes it when he is the one being devoured for once. I still haven't fully rule it out, once we can squeeze anything useful out of it. For now, this is the closest we have to talking to him.

The notebook writes like a well educated kid would have. A kid made it after all. That thought alone is so wrong. Knowing how these things are made makes it so much more messed up. But if I keep concentrating on every single disgusting, horrible, questionable shit I find out about him, then this is just never going to end. More people are going to die and I am just going to be here, hoping my next hangover at least make it easy to forget. So powerthrough this is all I have.

I write that "a monster ate everyone at school one night."

That is the official version at least. It writes back.

A monster? What kind of monster?

I don't know. Nobody saw it. It had to be big though.

After a while, the next words appear.

Do you know Luci?

No. Who is Luci?

It takes a whole minute for it to respond.

Luci is my best friend. If you know where they are, take me with them.

The words vanished just as easy as they came. Of course we researched that. There was no kid whose name could be shortened as Luci on the generation when professor Magne was a student at Hogwarts. Not on his, not on any of the other years, not in the entire school. There were Elizabeths, three Lucious because that name was popular apparently and even one Luz that was two years ahead of him. I couldn't find any immediate evidence that he was close with any of them. I didn't miss either the fact it wasn't telling me any gender.

So I ask it to tell me more about this Luci. I can't really take him to this friend if I don't know the first thing about who they are or what they look like, can I? If he told me that, then maybe we can find them and give them the notebook like Alastor, or this version of Alastor at least, would have wanted.

I could tell you everything, but I don't know if you would like it, appeared on the page. Some people tend to find it upsetting.

I don't mind upsetting, I write back. Sometimes I read horror novels for fun. I have a strong stomach.

You do?

Something about those two simple words makes me read them with the voice of the professor in my head. Using that same gleeful tone he had just before he dropped something horrible onto all of us during class, when neither of us could escape it. I can almost see the gleeful anticipation on his brown eyes as he waits the perfect moment for it.

Yes, I write, because I will take anything I can get. Anthony is reading above my shoulder and my mouth is a bit dry as the quill moves with my hand. Do you have a story for me?

A smiley face is my answer before the notebook closes by itself. Then it opens again, running up to the first page, that ironically we never used when communication with it. We just use whichever we happened to land on. As we see them, entire parragraph start appearing in front of our eyes, as if this thing had all the words at the ready.

I still can hear the voice of that fucker on them."

"Then allow me to start from the beginning, as many stories do. Please, sit back, relax and let me tell you all about how I met the love of my life.

[indigowallbreaker]

Finished a book and need to unload thoughts

Just finished a book where I could NOT stand the writing style x_x I thought maybe it's because the book is actually the 4th in a series-- I got it as a gift and didn't realize until I started reading-- but I wasn't lost at all in terms of characters or setting. It's the way the author wrote that made me roll my eyes every other page. Maybe cozy mysteries just aren't for me?

The things I can't stand in fiction are 1) the narration/author feeling the need to hold our hand instead of just letting us figure things out (telling instead of showing, essentially); 2) needless repeation; and 3) all the main characters are perfect people and the author goes out of their way to make SURE you know that. Let me use this book as an example:

1) ["I hope the issues your company faces are resolved to everyone's benefit. And by everyone, I mean your family, the farmers, and the customers," Jane said. This was her way of expressing sympathy for the Sullivans while making it plain that she believed it wrong for consumers to be exposed to harmful chemicals in products claiming to be organic.]

There's a dozen other ways the author could have expressed what Jane was getting at without hitting readers over the head. Maybe pair it with a meaningful look at the Sullivans, or "she stressed the last word and was satisfied when the Sullivans looked appropriately sheepish". This is one of the many instances where I found myself saying "I GET IT" out loud. Tying into point 3 a bit, you don't have to TELL me the main character dislikes chemicals in food since she's been portrayed as a saint this whole time, but thanks so much for the reminder.

2) [Only Eloise remained quiet, staring at Jane with a mixture of surprise and confusion. And why wouldn't she? Jane thought. My sons were just abducted. Here I am, hours later, talking about leaving them.

"Why do you need to go away now? So soon, after everything that's happened?" Eloise asked after the rest of the women had fallen silent.]

The input from Jane, our main character, is totally unnecessary here. "I know she's confused" followed by "I'm confused!" is absolutely annoying. In cartoons or comedies, something like that can be played for humor, sure. "Eloise isn't going to like this!" *smash cut to Eloise's house* "I don't like this!". But in drama it's just irksome. If the author is trying to demonstrate how well Jane knows her friend Eloise, there's other, more compelling ways to do so than just telling us what Eloise is about to say and then having her say it almost virbatum. "Jane had been expecting Eloise's outburst" or "Only Eloise remained quiet, staring at Jane with a mixture of surprise and confusion. Jane knew exactly what was going through her mind and turned to her best friend ready to receive the question she was sure to ask."

If the author was trying to guess what we the readers were thinking and trying to address our own potential confusion, then it was a completely pointless gesture. This scene is at the very end of the book-- you've built a bit of trust with me; I already assume Jane has her reasons.

3) [Anna stared at it for several seconds before saying, "I didn't ring him up. I'd remember his face if I had. He looks like a badger." She quickly glanced at her friends. "That's not a criticism. I like badgers."

"It's okay, Anna, I thought the same thing when I first saw him," Jane said.]

This is (to all but Jane) a random person no one in the room is going to see again! It's not someone's relative or boyfriend or child-- in fact it's someone suspected of murder! There's no reason Anna has to back pedal on her description, especially since she only likened the guy to an animal. It's not like she said "He looks like a horrifying snot monster" or something. But gods forbid the author portray the good guys as people who make passing comments about strangers. Quick, make sure the reader knows Anna wasn't being mean! She likes badgers! It's a compliment! Such scenes make me roll my eyes. Anna calling the suspect a badger just makes it easier for me, the reader, to picture him. No need to attach an apology.

At first I thought the writing rubbed me the wrong way because the vibe is more like a TV show, if that makes sense? Some things the characters do or say would work well in a visual medium but are clunky written out. Like the amount of times Jane says things aloud for dramatic effect that totally could have been thoughts. I thought maybe I was just being judgemental.

But then the above points kept happening over and over AND OVER. It's been a long time since I skim-read a book but I wanted to skip all the fluff and just skip to how the mystery ended.

I'm not saying this is a horrible book or the author is a bad writer. As I said at the top, it's the 4th book in a series. Maybe it's more of a character driven series and I would have enjoyed it more if I knew the characters better. Maybe this is a low point in the series and I just entered at a bad time. This book ends on a bit of a cliffhanger so it's possible the author was trying something new and this isn't typically how they write.

Mostly I'm picking on it because it's a prime example of the things I dislike reading in fiction. It's a fantastic one-stop-shop for textual examples I can point at to explain my preferences. It also got me fired up about a book (albeit with negative feelings) which hasn't happened in a while, and confirmed that this genre isn't for me. And for that I thank it.

On to the next book in the pile.