#I can't remember the last time I wrote something in second person?? WHO AM I

[wttcsms]

if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: fumiko.gima@apextalentgroup.com To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: wfitch@everlanefitch.com, mai.sasaki@apextalentgroup.com, hideakitakeda@titansecuritysolutions.com, benji1968@gmail.com + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All — 

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule. 

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS 

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off. 

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.) 

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you. 

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit. 

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms. 

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty. 

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts. 

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u 

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words. 

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment] 

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason 

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested. 

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media. 

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.” 

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know, 

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.” 

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.” 

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming. 

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything. 

Late in the afternoon, you get another text. 

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense. 

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out? 

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world. 

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity. 

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living. 

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days. 

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home? 

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too. 

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :) 

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM. 

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her. 

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend. 

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words. 

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be. 

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her. 

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you. 

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table. 

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day. 

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her. 

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.” 

“Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy. 

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.” 

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress. 

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could. 

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.” 

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?” 

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation. 

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?” 

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him. 

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?” 

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks. 

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together. 

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers. 

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend. 

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.” 

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion. 

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk). 

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned. 

“Never better.” 

“Do you have a ride home?” 

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say. 

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking. 

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge. 

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.) 

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly. 

“Let me take you home.” 

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.” 

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early. 

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].” 

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever. 

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car. 

No. 

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up. 

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!” 

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!” 

“Then why were your hands all over me?” 

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet. 

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint. 

He blinks. “What?” 

“What?” You repeat back, innocently. 

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back. 

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup. 

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.” 

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks. 

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway. 

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back. 

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces. 

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?” 

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps. 

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.” 

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets. 

“Do you really want me to stay?” 

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

[neverfindmegone]

Hi people, so I'm not a writer and I never wrote anything but my darling @pinkthrone445 is always writing the most amazing things, so I wanted to write this in her honor. Sorry if it's extremely silly and not well written but is my first try 🖤

What I can see

You and Melissa had been friends for a couple of months now. You met the red head during your first day in Abbot. You were nervous as hell to work as a teacher's aid, but you have always loved children and working with them was a dream.

At first, Melissa wasn't very friendly, she was extremely sarcastic, making fun of you every chance she got.

You still remember your first meeting, Ava had come to introduce you to the red head and you couldn't form one proper sentence, being stunned by her beauty.

- What's the matter Hon, did the cat get your tongue?

After that you started to spend more and more time with the older woman, and the intimidation you felt started to turn into a deep admiration. Being her helper was such an interesting job, the learning range was big, from teaching kids with special needs to having the number of a guy who could help you with racoon problems.

Yes. Melissa was an interesting woman and you started to fall for her more and more each day.

At first you believed to be a innocent crush, but the more you had one on one conversations, you saw that you couldn't stop thinking about what hurricane of a woman she was. Her presence, her personality, her looks, you were completely obsessed. What resulted in you finding every excuse possible to be around her all the time. You would bring her coffee, invite for lunches, drinks, movies almost every week after work.

Melissa seemed to appreciate the extra attention you gave her, sometimes you could swear you caught her staring when she thought you weren't looking.

Her bright green eyes shined when you overshared and her hands always found away to touch you, shoulders, hands, thighs.

That's how you found yourself in the current situation. Ava was giving one of her Ava speeches, and you had Melissa sitting right next to you, her arm touching yours. You were caught giving her looks from the corner of your eye, every time your skins would brush.

- Does she sound drunk to you? She whispered in your ear.

The hairs on the back of your back stood up immediately and you were frozen for a second. Her breath ghosting your skin made you feel dizzy whenever she was this close to you. Damn this woman had put you wonder a spell or something. When did you start to be so easily affected?

Melissa noticing your lack of response, shoved your arm slowly. - You okay?

- Yes, I mean no, not drunk, maybe hung over? I saw on her Insta last night, she was at the club until late.

- Club on a Wednesday? That's brave even for her. She eye rolled, looking back at the stage.

- Come on Schemmenti. You looked at her. - Can't you handle going out on a school night?

Her head snapped immediately, green eyes finding yours, nostrils inflating. You liked teasing her, it was a part of the flirting banter you had going on.

You raised both of your eyebrows challenging her. - Too old?

- Are you kidding me kid? You, me, club tonight. She said snapping, challenging you back.

- Deal, I'll pick you up at 7.

---

Later that night, you knocked on Melissa's door at 7:15. A bit late, but nothing that would bother the older lady. When the door was opened, your jaw dropped. She was wearing a tight red dress, her creamy cleavage completely in display.

You couldn't stop staring at her breasts, your breathing getting elaborated. This was definitely the rack from God.

Melissa's voice broke up you from your paralysis. - What's the matter hon? Am I over dressed?

You frowned, seeing her insecurity.

- Are you kidding me? Mel, you look... You paused, your eyes raking over her body up and down slowly. - Exquisite.

- Really? I'm not sure about this. She said entering the house, with you following. - I had other options. She gestured for you to follow her into the bedroom.

- Maybe these black jeans? She pointed to the bed, where a bunch of clothes were scattered. - I haven't been to a club in a while, I don't know what I was thinking.

You looked around seeing the mess in the room, realizing that she was probably over thinking this. You wanted nothing more than reassure her, this woman was divine, how couldn't she know that?

- No, you look perfect, I promise.

Melissa made a face, showing that she didn't believe you, she walked to the large mirror in the corner of her room, before standing there, observing herself. Her hands moved over her dress, tiding it up. - Am I too old for this?

- Melissa, please. You giggled, how did this goddess believe she was too old for anything. That's when you remember your teasing earlier, you started to feel guilty. She wouldn't have been upset over that, would she?

- Is this about earlier? You asked approaching her. - Let me show you something. You continued, moving yourself behind her in the mirror slowly, afraid to scare her away. Your desire was to prove to the woman how gorgeous she really was.

- What do you really think? She said looking at you, finding your eyes in the mirror.

You moved your hands to her hips gently, holding her in place, while making eye contact with her.

- I think you will be the hottest woman there. You squeezed her hips gently, before giving them a tap. - Come on.

Melissa huffs, before looking at you with vulnerable eyes. - Oh please.

You move closer, keeping your eyes on hers, before resting your chin on her shoulder. - I don't think you are aware of the effect you have on people. Your arms hugged her from behind while you spoke.

The older woman eyerolled. - Huf, you have to say that, you're my friend.

- Melissa stop. You moved your hands to hers, before squeezing them. - Please see what everyone can see... What I can see.

She blushed deeply. - Listen kid, I...

You moved closer in a fast manner, making her stop talking. You pressed your front against her back completely, before starting - First, look at these arms. You moved your hands up and down her shoulders gently. - They are muscular and strong.

You felt her tense up, looking at you with uncertainty. You gave her a wide smile before you felt her relaxing again, she gave you a small nod, letting you know it was okay to continue.

You shifted your hands to her stomach, stroking it with your fingertips. - Look at this waste, so gorgeous and just the right shape. Her eyes shifted to your hands movements, and her breath started to increase it's path, as she felt you caressing her skin.

- And these hips? Your hand moved down her curves, touching her more intimately now, increasing the pressure of your hands.

- They are so attractive, when you walk, people at school can't stop staring at them. You know when I first met you I couldn't stop thinking about your hips and thighs.

She shaked her head no. - It's true. You breathed in her ear. - You carry such power and swag when you walk, it's impossible not to look.

Her eyes starting to shine, lips quivering as she felt your hands moving to her behind. - I don't think I need to tell you about this mouth watering ass of yours, do I?

Your eyes found hers, completely black now, your hand moving up and down her butt cheeks. Your touch was maddening, Melissa was starting to tremble and you heard a small whimper scape when your nails traced her shape, teasingly.

Your face moved closer to hers, your nose brushing against her cheek, your eyes never leaving hers. - But do you wanna know my favorite? You said slowly, letting the tip of your tongue brush against her earlobe.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Your hands roamed up her front and the red head felt like her skin was on fire, it was as if hot oil was being poured in every spot your fingers touched. Your hand stopped on her chest and you stretched your fingers to her neck, squeezing it gently.

- Y/N. She whimpered, her voice full of emotion.

Your fingers grasped her chin before turning her face to yours. - It's your face Melissa, I'm obsessed with your face. Your eyes kept drinking in hers while you spoke - Your eyes they are so green and deep. - Your smile lights up the whole room, it's contagious.

You leaned closer, letting your fingertips touch the tip of her nose - Your nose is sharp and perfect. You traced a path to her lips, observing her face deeply, like you were a painter and she was your master piece. Your fingers moved to her lips softly, the pressure light but steady.

- And your mouth, God your mouth.

Melissa held her breath, her eyes started to close, she was hypnotized by your caresses. Her eyes snapped open when she felt you pulling away. But before she could protest in disappointment you moved your hands to her breasts squeezing them roughly. You couldn't keep yourself away from them for one more second. - And these are the star of the show. You felt her nipples get hard while you played with them.

Her head fell to your shoulder before she groaned. - Fucking chirst Y/N.

You lost any self control you had left and turned her around, pressing her back against the mirror, trapping her with your hands beside her head . - Do you see it now? You asked, your eyes full of lust.

Her lack of response gave you the impression that she was uncomfortable, so you started to move away shyly. - Fuck, sorry Mel, I know we work together. Before you could finish your sentence Melissa grabbed your face and crashed her lips against yours. She was furious and putting all of her desire and longing into that kiss.

You had no idea how long she had craved this, how long she had craved you. And having your hands and whispers seducing her like that was enough to take the red head to a breaking point.

All she could see was black, her hands moved over your body frantically, squeezing every piece of flesh she could find.

You moaned feeling how dominant she had became, letting her take charge of the kiss. Your hands moved to her shoulders, clutching with force, returning all the fire the woman was giving you. You opened your mouth, accepting her tongue in. Your mind was dizzy with desire, and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning again.

- Holy fuck. You panted. You kissed for minutes, or what seemed to be hours. You couldn't get enough of her taste and she seemed to be obsessed with yours. Every time you would stop to breathe the other would pull in again with force, continuing the intense kiss. Your hands tangled in her gorgeous hair and hers groping you forcefully.

When you felt yourself close to fainting from the lack of air, you moved away from her, catching your breath so you could take a sight of what had just happened.

You moved your hand over your chest, trying to recover.

- Wow Schemmenti, I always assumed you were a good kisser but this, this is something else.

When you caught her eyes, she was still silent, chest and face red, she looked dangerous, almost a predator looking at her pray. - Mel?

She moved closer to you before shoving you in the bed savagely. You fell on your elbows harshly. - Ouch! Melissa! You said looking her with surprise.

- You had your fun seducing and playing me like pudding in your hands. Now it's my turn. She said while moving on top of you.

Her hands moved to your neck before squeezing it. - And you know something Y/N? She said while leaning in, letting her mouth hover over yours. - I don't think I want to go to the club anymore.

[wutheringmights]

I finished rereading The Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce a couple of days back. I already talked about the first book in a post that garnered more attention than it deserved. I guess we were all happily reminiscing about the menstruation scenes together, or Tortall fans are so starved for content they (we) will reblog anything.(Understandable. I too am starved for a thriving Tortall fandom.)

I'm too lazy to make separate posts about each book, so we're just going to do a mega post covering the second, third, and fourth book.

Unlike last time, I will be giving a little criticism to this series. I still love it endlessly, but there were a few things about the prose I thought was interesting that I want to talk about a bit.

So, without further ado~

In the Hand of the Goddess

I think this one is my favorite one, despite how rushed the plot it. It contains all of my favorite plot points, like awkward romances with George and Jon, attending knight lessons, and a little summer war. Fun stuff.

But it definitely feels rushed. I really wish someone told Pierce to make this a 12 book series, expanding on Alanna's years at the castle. It would have gone so far to better develop the romances and the friendships in these books.

I am fascinated by what Pierce chose to skim over. Characters would die or kiss for the first time off screen, with the prose resuming with Alanna reacting to it. It demonstrates an understanding of character work that I personally adore and try to emulate in my own writing-- the real bones of a story being in how characters respond to fantastic events as opposed to the fantastic events themselves.

Also, the whole veil spell Roger cast in objectively stupid, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. You're telling me that Roger used magic to make Alanna lose interest in doing anything about the obviously evil things he was doing? That's fucking hilarious. You know an editor came back to Pierce and asked her to come up with a reason why Alanna wasn't just going to spring into action at the first sign of Roger trying to kill her, only for Pierce to come up with this. It's so silly. I love it.

Woman Who Rides Like A Man

Did this book age poorly? Yes, but not as badly as I remembered. That's not a stirring defense, and it's really not meant to be.

The Bahzir are a mess of Orientalism, and Pierce definitely deserves criticism for not only the way she wrote them but for the ways in which she frames their cultural practices as something that needs to be fixed. Having Alanna want to force them to change their culture to suit her beliefs is not a great look for both the character and the writer. And that's not even getting into the whole assimilation plotline.

But I did enjoy Pierce's attempts to expand on the definition of womanhood, especially as a part of Alanna learning to embrace femininity. There is this running thread in these last two books of Alanna learning about all the different ways to be a woman and choosing for herself what her gender means to her. It's not done particularly well, and anyone looking for a revolutionary examination of gender roles and identity is going to be sorely disappointed. But there's an attempt here that I can't help but appreciate.

This book is also where Pierce starts to slow the plot down, which lends it to having the most reasonable pacing out of the bunch. That being said, it's also the book where the lack of development for a bunch of the side characters start to hurt. I really wish Gary or Raoul joined Alanna in the desert. Raoul gets his moment in the sun with the Protector of the Small books, but Gary remains largely forgettable. In fact, I spent this entire read-through convinced this man dies at the end of the last book, if only because I can't remember where he appears in any of the other books.

Lioness Rampant

This book somehow has the improved pacing of the third book while still feeling rushed. The quest for the Dominion Jewel really should have been it's own book, if only to give Thayet and Buri more room for development. Thayet in particular really needs her moment to shine, especially when she continues to be an important character in the other series.

But do you know who did get a lot of screen time? Liam.

Remembered shit about this guy before going into this book. I could only vaguely recalled disliking him as a kid, but not as much as I venomously hated Jon. (Speaking of which-- I love the way this man is realistically shitty. Him getting dumped by Alanna is always my favorite scene.) But Liam? Fuck that guy. Holy shit. I give full applause to Pierce for portraying the important milestones every girl goes through growing up, which includes having a situationship that is so shitty that it becomes essential character development.

Roger's return feels very... cheesy? I think Alex should have stepped up to be the final villain on the story. Unlike Roger, Alex was Alanna's friend. They have history. The betrayal would have imbued that final fight with so many more emotions than it ultimately had. I also would have liked Alanna to have at least meaningfully talked to Alex sometime before the climax.

Honestly, it's impressive how reactive Alanna is as a character in the last half of the book. She doesn't seek out how to stop Roger's plan, or fix Thom, or anything. Other characters make plans and she just... waits for something to go wrong.

That being said, by virtue of Alanna's relationships with George, Liam, and Jon all happening sometime in this plot, this book becomes a good place to look to get the full berth of how Pierce handles romances. Which, I love her approach. The romances are never over the top or, for lack of a better word, too romantic. It's very down to earth, with characters dating, marrying, or breaking up for realistic reasons.

Jon and Alanna were friends who broke up because they had different life plans. Liam and Alanna broke up for having fundamentally different values. As much as I bitch about how shitty Jon and Liam are, they're not cartoonishly evil. They're just a little shitty the way most of your exes will be. Jon and Liam are men could find love with someone else. They just aren't suited for Alanna.

Meanwhile, the most romantic things George does are wait for her and be supportive. He doesn't fight or get territorial. He makes his feelings clear, then waits for Alanna's cues. Alanna definitely loves him, but she ends up with him in the end because their lifestyles and core beliefs meld together. There's no grand romantic gesture or whirlwind affairs. They are just a good pair.

I have read stories with far heavier focuses on romance, and none of those couples feel as perfect as Alanna and George. Those stories prioritize all the gooey moments over showing why the main couple should get together. For how little romantic interactions they have, you believe these two could have a successful marriage. Perfect stuff.

---

Over all, I really enjoyed rereading these books. For all my griping, I still love the story. I love Alanna. She's a character who is fundamental to my soul. No matter where I am in life, I will always want to open these books and find her again, to walk back into Tortall and join her on her quest to be a lady knight.

My copies of the series come with forewards from a previous edition. In one of them, Pierce wrote that this series started off as an adult fantasy story that was much darker and edgier. I need to know what that story looks like, what happened in it. Pierce can claim as she wants that she hardly remembers what it looks like, but I refuse to believe that. Release the unedited first draft, Pierce. I am begging you.

[missmielyhoran]

Yearbook

in which Harry promised you to take you as his first award show date...

(A/N- In this Harry became solo artist one direction doesn't exist, listen to Wanna be yours for feels)

[Warning- Fluff, Angst if you like squint reallllllyyyyyyy hard, a little self-doubt, Harry being absolute gentleman he is, Harry might or might not have a secret crush on reader🤭, pinning like idiots]

Masterlist

*****

Life is werid and unpredictable.

As for someone who likes to plan their every move in advance, you hated that from the bottom of your heart. You were the type of person to pick out outfits and plan everything for the day for an event you will attend in a week or two.

So imagine your surprise when your ex classmate comes at your door step asking you to be his date and not just any classmate...Harry fucking Styles asking you to be his date to VMAs.

HARRY FUCKING STYLES.

"Wait can you repeat that?" You said dumbfounded. Harry chuckled, dimples digging in deep as he asked you again

"Will you be my date to the VMAs?"

"I still can't believe it. I mean why me? Is this a prank? Is Nick Grimshaw going to jump out of somewhere with his camera crew or something or is this revenge for me spilling orange juice on your shirt on picture da-" Your rambling was cut off by Harry scooting near you on the couch and holding both your shoulders.

Your eyes snapped to his, and your face flushed red cause one, he was Harry Styles, and you were obviously his fan. Second, you had a massive crush on him in school and still have (who doesn't?).

You really were surprised how you didn't drop dead from a heart attack.

"Darling do you have your yearbook with you?" He asked you softly and you nodded too in shock to speak.

"Go get it" He said removing his hands from your shoulders and sitting back.

Yes daddy was your first response but you bit your tongue and ran off to your room.

"Holy fucking shit" You whisper shouted to yourself and fixed your hair in the mirror and put on some lipgloss even though he saw you in the ratty state you were when you opened the door thinking it was pizza, it was not late to make a good impression right?

You knew where your yearbook was, so you took your time to make your appearance look good and excused the time as "searching."

"Sorry took some time to find this old thing" You lied. Harry hummed as you gave him the book and smirked.

"If I didn't knew any better I would say you were lying darling and actually was getting dolled up, up there" He said still not looking up rather than flicking through pages.

Your face flushed again and you played with your hair trying to not squim and be flustered.

"I was not-" He cut you off again but you didn't mind cause you didn't have an excuse.

"Look here." He pointed towards the very end of the page where you had your friends sign at the last day of school, and obviously, Harry's was also there, but there was also a message there.

I promise to take you as my date to my first VMAs

Honestly, you don't even remember he wrote that. You were too busy being sad over not being able to see his pretty face every day. You were surprised he still remembered.

"You remembered this?" You asked him and looked up he was looking at you with his pretty toothy dimply smile and your heart skipped a beat, it was like highschool all over again.

"Ofcourse I did" he said and scooted back a bit to your much dismay, "Now the question is will you?"

"Duh. I would be a dumbass if I said no" You laughed and put the yearbook aside.

"Great Great" He said, standing up from beside you. You frowned discreetly at the thought of him leaving so early, "I will be here to pick you up tomorrow at 2 pm. That's okay for you?" He asked looking at you hopefully.

"Yeah that's okay" You replied smiling softly. His eyes shined brighter as if you were the sun. You stood there in middle of your living room watching his beautiful green eyes that was until a thought struck you.

"But I don't have anything to wear, Harry! It's already 4 pm when am I supposed to go shopping and buy stuff." You started panicking again but he just waved you off.

"Calm down darling. Event is at 6 there is a reason I said I will pick you up at 2. All you have to do it get your pretty little ass in my car, worry about nothing else" He said tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. Your face went red, feeling flustered by is unashamed flirting.

"Okay" You said with a soft smile. Harry smiled and hugged you, with your face in his chest you could smell his cologne and god he smelled so amazing, like Vanilla and sandalwood with a hint of tobacco, you were obsessed.

"See you tomorrow" He said with a wink as he walked towards his car.

God he must be thinking how embarrassing I'm.

*****

God she must be thinking how embarrassing I'm.

Harry thought as he drove away from your house still watching your small figure standing on the door.

It was a shot in dark, him just showing up and asking you to be his date to VMAs. In reality he would be asking you to a real date but he's too much of a pussy.

He could have asked you when he was in highschool but he too scared just as he's now. He just hope everything goes well tomorrow and the next time he will be picking you up will be a real date.

*****

Tomorrow came too early and too late.

Whole night you couldn't sleep thinking about the event, who would be there? what will you do if someone famous talks to you? what will you say if someone asks you who Harry is to you? An ex classmate? friend? acquaintance?

Then your mind went to Harry and how good he looked, you wondered what he will be wearing, if it will match your outfit. Will you be good enough for him? what will everyone else say?

It wasn't until you got a text that you stopped overthinking. It was Harry, you had exchanged numbers so he could text you if something happened.

Panicking you checked the text thinking he was canceling on you cause he found someone pretty like a model who would be far more appropriate to take to event like this but it was him sending you picture of his cat.

Harry-

If you're stressing out we have a great cuddler here

You smiled and replied to his text.

You-

Who you or her?

Harry-

Why don't you find out yourself...

It went back and forth until you fell asleep mid replying but Harry didn't mind he was just happy he got to talk to you.

You woke up you guessed it...panicking. You thought the alarm you set didn't go off just to find out there was still an hour left. Knowing you will not fall asleep again you went down and made a good breakfast. Most of the time you just hurry grabbing what you can and run to work but today you treated yourself.

You made omelets sunny side up, toast, and a nice coffee and then ate it while listening to your happy playlist. After you were done with breakfast, you washed the dishes and then took a shower.

You washed your hair, deep conditioned it, shaved your whole body until baby smooth, used all those expensive oils you bought. You wanted to look your best, you knew you were nothing compared to those celebrities, models there will be which bunch of Harry dated but you could get close and look like you belong there.

After shower you got out and wrapped yourself in a bathrobe and did your elaborate skincare, mask and everything.

In doing everything, you didn't even realize the time, and suddenly, it was 2 p.m. and Harry was at your front door right on time, and you were running down the stairs. You decided to wear a simple white sundress with small sunflowers considering it was too hot outside and you also looked cute in it. Forgoing makeup cause you will be getting ready there anyways, you put on your lipsgloss and opened the door.

"Hi" you said, beaming at Harry. He was wearing white pants and a hoodie with hood up and a mask covering his face so no one would recognize him. He looked good nonetheless.

"Hi." Harry was breathless. You looked like sunshine incarnated, your smile, your dress god he wished he could kiss you right now. "You look absolutely beautiful," He said, checking you out shamelessly.

"Thank you" you blushed and stepped aside to let him in. "I just need to grab my purse and we will go" You said.

"Take your time there is no rush" Harry said, "Oh and these are for you" he said, shyly extending the bouquet of flowers. It was a mix of sunflowers and daffodils, "I know you like daffodils so.." he trailed off.

You looked up shocked he even knew that. You don't even remember telling him that. "This is beautiful Harry thank you so much" You said looking at him with softest look there ever have been in someone's eyes.

You quickly put flowers in vase smiling to yourself and checked your bag for everything you needed. "I'm ready" You said walking up to Harry in living room.

"Let's go then" Harry said, getting up from your couch. You walked behind him, locking up the main door while he contemplated if holding your hand would be too much.

God he feels like middle school boy.

Fuck it he thought to himself and threaded his fingers into yours as you stepped down on the stairs to his level. Your hands were so soft and small in comparison to his, almost swallowing it whole and for some reason his heartbeat skipped at that.

If he wasn't all too gone he was now.

Meanwhile you didn't know how to breathe. He was holding your hand...HARRY WAS HOLDING YOUR HAND. You might have looked fine from outside but inside you were panicking, screaming, crying, there were butterflies in your stomach. You're greatful you didn't threw up.

You smiled at him, and the sun shone just right on your skin, and if Harry wasn't carefull he might have thought you were an angel or some heavenly thing from the way you were glowing.

"C'mon darling let's go to car" Before he dies of a heart attack...

*****

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515

They're so cute

Please Like, Comment and Reblog

I love you♡

Talk to me and tell me if you liked this here♡ I will post part 2 soon

[weird-is-life]

Sirius x animagus!Reader where after not hearing from him all summer she uses her animagus form to sneak into Grimmauld Place and check up on him. Up to you if Walburga catches them or not

Hii, ty for the request! I actually had to Google who tf is Walburga🤦‍♀️🤭but I hope this is okay. Warnings: angst, fluff, use of pet names, use of y/n (1k)

Sirius hasn't been answering your letters basically since the start of the summer, so you've decided in the middle of it, that you've had enough.

You know that sneaking into Black's house is not the best idea, but you need to find out what is up with Sirius, before you go mad over it.

It is a good thing that you were around when the boys were learning how to turn into an animagus. And even better thing is that, your animagus is a dove.

So it doesn't take you long to locate the window, that you know belongs to Sirius's room. It's already late at night, so you are surprised to see some light coming from his room.

You easily slip inside, through the cracked open window.

You find Sirius laying on his bed, reading a book with his wand creating the light.

When you turn back to your normal form, Sirius almost has a heart attack, immediately sitting up.

"What the fuc-" he yelps, but as he suddenly realises that he knows who is standing in front of him, he whispers,"y...-y/n?" His voice breaks as he says your name.

You don't wait another second and throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking both of you to the ground. You feel like crying and you're not surprised to feel your cheeks getting wet.

What catches you of guard is feeling some wetness through the fabric of your shirt. To your shock, Sirius is also crying, he holds you so tight in his arms, his face buried in your neck. You just let him, you are standing between his legs as his sits on his bed, running your hands through his hair in a way, you hope is soothing.

It takes you both quite some time to let go of each other, no words being passed between you. But you don't mind one bit, you are so relieved to see him alive and okay.

"H-how did you get here?" Sirius speaks with a groggy voice after what feels like hours. His eyes are all red, but gentle as they look all over your face.

"I used the animagus," you answer and because you can't wait any longer, you ask, "Siri, what happened? We all thought, that-that you got hurt or something. The boys were about to loose their minds, so was I."

"W-what do you mean? I thought something happened to you all, you didn't respond to any of my letters," he says and he sounds just as confused as you feel.

"What? We never got any of your letters, but we wrote to you everyday," you perplex, "how did this happen, Siri?"

Sirius looks absolutely heartbroken upon learning of this information, but also angry.

"I can't fucking believe this," he mutters madly under his breath.

"What?"

"It's definitely my mother's doing," he sighs, "I suspected, that she'd learnt about you and me, and wanted to put an end to it. She hardly tolerated the boys, she couldn't accept, they aren't on the dark side. So i think, her learning about you was finaly enough for her." You want to ask why would she do such a thing, but then you remember how different his family is to yours and how unpleasant his mother is.

"And I was stupid enough to think, that you and the boys finally came to your senses and ended our relationships. I'm not exactly the person you should be with, i mean look at my family, they are horrible people. S-so i probably am the same, they tell me i am."

His last sentence makes you want to cry some more, because you can't even imagine why would he think such a thing.

"Never, Sirius. You hear me? I nor the boys would ever do that. You can't get rid us of, rid of me that easily," you poke him in the chest playfully, even though your words are serious, " you aren't like your family and that's why we love you. You are anything, but bad Siri. Yeah?"

You stroke his cheek lovingly, hoping he gets, that you are all in, in this. And that he doesn't get to just say mean and untrue things about himself. And if he does, you'll be there every time to reassure him, that he is very very wrong.

"I love you, dove. So much," he expresses instead of answering your question. And his stare is so intense, so full of love, that you almost cry (happy tears), again.

"I love you more," you profess and quickly, you kiss him. It's not a long kiss, but it is long enough to express everything you both feel. Love. Relief. Desperation. And even tiny bit of anxiety.

You put your forehead against his, a small smile on your lips filled with nerves, "Siri, y-you need to get away from here."

"I know, sweetheart, I know, b-but where would I go? This is the only place I know as a home-"

"James's said, that I should insist to drag you away from here when I find you and to tell you, that there's a room waiting for you in his house," you assure him," and if there wasn't a place for you in Potters's home, there would definitely be one in mine."

Sirius looks a bit taken aback by this and you completely understand, he's only known this place a his 'home' for most of his life and leaving like this can't be easy.

But he nods his head slowly, surely, " okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I want to leave this place and never ever come back here," he says, feeling very certain about the decision.

"Good," you give him a tight hug," the boys are waiting for us a few streets away from here, let's get out of here."

And you do. You quickly pack all the things Sirius wants to take with him, which isn't a lot, and sneak out of there.

You can see the moment, you get away from the house, Sirius's whole posture and mood change. He walks with a light breeze and a smile, that gets bigger and bigger as you get farther away from there.

Though, his smile grows the biggest when he notices his best friends waiting for him. He takes off running towards them, while dragging you along.

The reunion is all happy tears and loud laughs, which is all you hoped for.

[astarions-bride]

Can I get spicy prompt 23 w father Anthony! Have a wonderful day 🫶🏻

Hope you like it! It was fun to write for a new character, (it's been a minute since I wrote something 😅) especially for my newest fixation. Also I have no idea how Catholic churches work so...sorry for any mistakes 😬

“You’re the only person I’d make an exception for. Count yourself lucky,” the words echoed in your head as you watched the last few stragglers hanging around the door talking and laughing, your leg bouncing with nerves and you once again wiped your damp palms on your skirt, before ducking back into the confessional booth.

The darkness was almost calming.

Allowing you to catch your breath and calm yourself before you ruined things before they even started. It seemed like an eternity before you heard the faint click of the massive doors shutting and then silence greeted you. You held your breath, unsure if you should walk out now and risk a loner drawing you into a reluctant conversation, and you grew lightheaded as your heart thundered in your chest. Your lungs burned from lack of air and you swore you saw spots before you heard someone delicately clear their throat. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden sound.

"It's all clear, darling...unless you need the confessional?" a teasing voice spoke, the familiarity making you release your breath in relief, and you gingerly slipped outside.

Father Anthony Bridge stood leaning against a pew, a smile threatening to curl his lips, and his bright blue eyes crinkled at the corners as you huffed in annoyance.

"I am dating a priest. Not much I need to confess," you replied primly, heat rising in your face as his smirk grew into a full grin, but you immediately reached for his outstretched hand.

He pulled you close until you could feel his body heat and smell his spicy cologne that you bought him and you distracted yourself from his intense gaze by fidgeting with his collar.

"Well...I am almost certain that the priest needs time in the confessional for the thoughts running through his head during communion this morning," he quipped and your own grin twitched the corners of your mouth.

You remember the bedroom eyes you gave him as he placed the wafer on your outstretched tongue, how his long slender fingers trembled and lingered for a second too long by your mouth, and how those beautiful eyes darkened. Arms sneaking around your waist brought you back to the present and his words from earlier once more echoed in the back of your head.

"Are you sure we're alone?" you asked softly, glancing around nervously, and in answer you were pulled closer to him.

His lips found yours and you immediately melted against him. His kiss was soft and sweet, even his facial hair was nothing more than a soft caress against your skin, and you felt tension ease out of you until you were nearly limp in his arms.

"Don't think I forgot about our...conversation," he eventually whispered as he pulled away, leaving you dazed and giddy, and his words had your blood sizzling in your veins.

"Are you sure we won't be disturbed?" you asked breathlessly as your hands moved up to comb nervously through his perfectly styled hair.

"Now look who's nervous," Anthony teased while gently nudging his nose against yours followed by a swift kiss to your pouting lips.

"I just don't think I could forgive myself if we got caught....having...sex in your office," you said haltingly as your face burned.

This was a much easier conversation last night when you both were naked and in bed.

"We don't have to do this today, or ever, if you truly do not want to. I'm perfectly fine with taking you back home and ravishing you there," he said, a rakish smile in place, but his eyes were serious.

At the thought of him doing just that your mind was instantly made up. You started to drag him towards his office as he laughed at your sudden urgency.

"Can't wait that long," you said before pulling him closer to kiss while walking backwards into his office door.

"I want you inside me. Now," you murmured against his lips and his answering groan was all the encouragement you needed to fumble with the door blindly.

Not wanting to break the kiss for even a second to look at where you were going.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" he muttered while reaching down to help you unlock the door, catching you before you fell through the doorway, and you smiled as he kicked the door shut firmly with his foot.

You both fumbled for the light switch, not once breaking apart, and the normally irritatingly bright lights that flooded the room suddenly seemed romantic. The sound of the lock clicking into place kickstarted your already pounding heart and your hands trembled as you tugged at his belt.

"I'll be the one dying if you don't get these pants off," you panted, finally leaning back to look down to loosen his belt, and you felt a surge of heat at the obvious tenting in his pants.

His lips met yours again, his hands pulling up your skirt while he pushed you back towards his desk, and you couldn't help but to smile. He leaned back just far enough to rest his forehead against your own, his nose bumping yours again as he caught his breath, and he made a small noise in question at your sudden smile.

"Who knew that a priest would lead me down the path of temptation?"

[crabonfire]

hi! i recently saw your one bed trope post and was wondering if you ever did a part 2? love your writing and remember to drink water!!

One bed trope, Part 2.

The long awaited continuation!!! I'm sorry I almost forgot I even wrote it and it's my most popular prompt haha!!

characters: Heavy, Engineer, Medic.

warnings: none

note!! PLEASE READ DJDJFJFJF:

SO...I didn't realise until I finished heavy's but this is really long...like,,, super duper long. So sniper and spy will be the last part!! I'm so sorry but WOW I write long one shots. don't worry, it'll be released right after this one.

Oh and ps, Engineer's is a bit suggestive. no nsfw but sexual tension here n there 🤯🤯🤯🤯

♡Heavy♡

• "I will take the floor, Y/N sleep on the bed."

• THE SECOND HE SEES THERES ONLY ONE BED HE JUST...YEAH

• "Heavy no, its uncomfortable. Its been a long day, I'll take the floor."

"No. Heavy insist."

"Heavy."

"Y/N."

You two debated for a bit until you just told him your sharing.

"How? Heavy...is big."

"It'll fit, don't worry."

"...This is not good idea."

"Shut up man. Either we both suffer on the ground or have the bed together."

• after you both shower, Heavy spends some time to clean Sasha, while your already incredibly worn out from the day.

"I think I'm gonna sleep now, night heavy."

"goodnight Y/N, sweet dreams."

"Mhm, and if I find you asleep on the floor in the morning I'm going to break your jaw."

"Haha, very funny Y/N."

"I will."

"Ah...alright."

• you doze off quickly, Heavy finishes cleaning sasha and seeing he has nothing else to do he decides to sleep too.

• He's quite careful, making sure that he doesn't wake you. When he does lie, the bed tilts his way. His eyes widen a bit by the creak it creates as he would hate to wake you up, but is relieved to see your knocked out cold.

He studies your sleeping form for a bit, he's not weirded out by sleeping with another person. He's had to sleep with the mercs sometimes, and he used to sleep with his sisters when he was young, so this was nothing really.

But, why is it you make him so nervous? Especially in this situation? Your not even awake, but that makes it worse.

• He slowly slips into the covers that barely cover him, but right now he's more focused on you. When he does, the bed slightly tips to him and you shift closer to him, making him panic slightly. That panic fades away when you rest your head near his arm, forcing him to lay face flat to the ceiling.

His cheeks grow warm, so do his ears, and his entire face. Oh my god. Your resting on his shoulder. Oh my god. Oh my godddd.

You murmur something under your breath as you wrap your arms around his, making him tense up. "Mmmfh..." Your voice is muffled as you hold his arm. He melts, a weak smile appearing on his face as he holds the urge to freak out. Smiling contently, he soon falls to a slumber.

aw,,, anyways morning!!!

• You wake up and broooo...

Your confused by the immense warmth your feeling right now, when you open your eyes your eyes widen and your cheeks flush immediately. Heavy is holding you right now,, the heavy. The guy who carries around a machine gun everyday and kills people who even bat an eye to him, the guy who hunts BEARS.

But... You know him. He's a nice guy. Which makes it WORSE!!! HE'S... HE'S HOLDING YOU RIGHT NOW OH MY GKDDDNDNDJFJFJFJFJRJDJ! #(#((£_(

You don't know what to do. You... Uh... Um... Hm.

• "Oh my god-" you mumble, feeling embarrassed yet also feeling super lucky right now. your but bear man crush is holding you rn. bro.

He shifts, making you panic. Your eyes shut in instinct , and he seemed to have been woken up. You can't see right now but his eyes are WIIIDEEEEEEE he's wide awake rn haha

• "bozhe moi-" he grunts.

"... Y/N..?"

"...yea?"

"Oh-dear god I am quite sorry..." He let's you go and he sits up.

"It's okay! It was uh... Warm. It was nice."

it's quiet for a bit. He's obviously tense.

"...I liked it."

He flinches a bit, turning to you. "I am glad I didn't make you uncomfortable...i also liked it."

His cheeks are red. Oh?

Oh...

OH

He likes you like that...SCORE!!! WOOO!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE LIKES YOU BACK WOOOOOOO!!!!

you crack up a smile, making him feel a bit flustered. He gets up and excuses himself to shower, while your having a mini celebration over the fact that THAT little tint of red on his face is an obvious hint that he likes you. Let's goooooo!!!!!!

♡Engie♡

• he knew there would be one bed. he's close with ms pauling and knows the details of any sudden changes. so he knew, and he took this as am opportunity to make a move on you.

• "Engie there's uh...one bed."

"What? Oh-darn'...really? no way..."

"Oh um...I'll sleep on the floor."

"No-no. I'll sleep on the floor."

"Engie that's ridiculous, you've worked your ass off today I am not letting you sleep on the floor."

"Don't cut yourself short sweet pea, you were a real sharpshooter today, you take the bed."

"...ugh! Let's just-share the bed."

"...ah, alright." SUCCESSSSSSSS

• he has a whole plan too. small talk until you both get tired, he acts all chill about it, casually gets close to you without making you uncomfortable, andddd when you scooch closer to him he'll be all suave.

if you think this is out of this is out of character, considering he's an engineer with 11 phds who cut off his own hand to replace it with a gunslinger, and is nice but makes TELEPORTERS...he's definitely a carefully calculated man, even in these situations.

• you two talk for a bit, rambling about the day and laughing over stupid encounters. the clock strikes midnight, and you both realise its time to rest.

But your quite nervous with him, feeling the heat to your cheeks as you sit next to him. "You okay sugar?" He asks, worry in his voice. "Y-Yeah! Sorry, just uh...um...yea." You sputter out. "Are you nervous?" He asks.

AHAHDHDHFH he really has to ask?? "That obvious huh?" You chuckle nervously, making him smile softly. "It's alright, I won't bite. I mean, unless you want me to."

• Your head turns to him, noticing the gaze he's had on you. Your face feels hot, and your at a loss on what to say. He laughs, "I'm just jokin' darl'." Your mouth opens but you can't seem to say anything. He just... Stares.

"Oh my god your a fuckin tease." You look away, laughing. Wow okay. He...hes flirting. Well now you know he likes you like that. "Oh but you like it don't you?"

That made you turn your attention back to him, brows furrowed. He places a hand on your chin, making you look up at him. If he couldn't see the blush on your face, the heat from it would certainly be obvious. "Don't you?"

Your knees are weak, your head is dizzy, you don't know how to react, you feel like your gonna explode. He waits for a moment, and he starts to laugh, taking his hand away from your chin and shaking his head.

"Nevermind, get some sleep." He gives you one last cocky smile, and then walks off to the bathroom. Your left there speechless, not having anything to say or even think about. What is there to think about?? You can't even process what just happened to you.

I mean it's nice to know that he obviously likes you back but wow...you were not expecting him to be so...forward.

You shake your thoughts away and dim the lights, slipping into your comfortable sheets and trying your best to just...think about it tomorrow.

wow. um. morning.

• goddamnit.

• of fucking course you're gonna wake up in his arms. right after he teases you relentlessly of fucking COURSE you're gonna wake up in his arms.

your wrapped tightly in his warm embrace, he's knocked the fuck out, snoring lightly. you sigh, trying to escape but he's so damn strong what the hell...

you recall the events that happened last night, and damn!! this bitch is a tease.

you frown but accept your fate, letting yourself fall back to sleep. this man sleeps like a fucking rock. not even a nuclear alarm will wake his ass up.

♡Medic♡

• honestly?? I think he'd be too tired to even like complain or do anything.

• "Oh-uh...medic there's one bed."

"Oh? I did not expect us having to share, but alright then!"

"O-Oh? Are you sure? I don't mind sleeping on the floor."

"Nonsense! Neither of us need to wake up with a sore back tomorrow, it's alright."

• he sets up his documents on a table near the TV, and spends the whole night writing and going over files on a previous experiment he did.

you just sorta do your own thing, making small talk here and there, though he's obviously more focused in his work. You leave him be, but after hours, he's still just on thay damn desk.

"Hey doc-sorry to bother but uh...you gonna sleep soon? It's pretty late."

"Hm? Oh! Yes yes of course, I had forgotten how fast time goes while I do my work. Thank you for reminding me, I'll sleep in a bit no need to worry."

"Ah..okay then. Goodnight medic."

He hums in reply, then going back to writing. You shrug it off, taking a sip of water and slipping right to sleep.

• An hour goes by, and finally he decides to rest. He closes his documents and dims the lights, walking over to the bed. As he sits, he's quite enamoured by your sleeping self. He smiles, you look so calm.

He knows he likes you. Your the only patient he's loves to take care of, no matter what disgusting or horrible thing it is, he absolutely will do anything in his power to help you. The way you check up on him when it's late at night, the way you help him clean up and record experiments having full trust in his ability to heal you, and the way you make his heart skip faster than normal.

Now that he's alone with you, he feels a bit nervous. It's really starting to kick in now that this is the first time he's gonna be sleeping with you. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY, but wow, it's finally kicking in that you're sleeping together.

He feels like a school girl, it's silly. But he can't help it, how did you manage to steal his heart? He's stolen many himself, but this feels so unreal. He snaps back to reality when he realises he needs to sleep, smiling, he slips into the covers and faces you. "Goodnight, Y/N." He mutters.

awwwwwwwwwww he's so silly!!! morning time everyone

• He wakes up pretty early, he doesn't need much sleep to operate in the morning. He's surprised by the warmth he feels on his face, but starts to smile when he realises that your holding him in your sleep.

that's so sweet, Y/N oh my god.

he melts into you, wrapping his arms tight around your figure. "Mmmh..medic..?" you mumble in response to the sudden gesture. "Yes?"

You look down, blink a bit, and take in the scene.

It's medic. He's smiling wearily, his arms are around you, and yours around him.

woah.

• "Oh-oh gosh-"

You scooch away from him and sit up, and so does he, putting his glasses on. "I am so so sorry... I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable-oh god." You sputter, chuckling nervously.

"It is alright! I enjoyed it."

"Oh...you did?"

"Yes. You were quite warm. I found it cute!"

No point in being shy now, he's quite an honest guy you know? You can feel your cheeks redden, chuckling even more at his blunt self.

"Wow uh...Well. I'm glad you did...It was nice actually."

• You both just kinda smile like two idiots, then in perfect timing, Ms Pauling knocks on the door to wake you guys up. You two get ready and for the rest of the day, the both of you are giggling and flirting like two dumb teenagers just falling in love. It's adorable.

And for the week where you two are together, it always ends up like this. You two holding each other when you wake up. You both like each other, it's obvious now. But just who will ask out the other first?

BOOM cliffhanger HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Cry.

Anyways part 3 with sniper and Spy tomorrow!!! IM SORRY LMAOOOO this was longer than I thought and my palms are sweaty from writing. Like...actually I really need to stop they are incredibly sweaty.

Hope you enjoyed! For any spelling errors I apologise, stay tuned for part three tomorrow!! It'll be the first thing I post :) reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[ineffable-rohese]

Good Omens, or the Disruption of Gay = Death

CW: historical homophobic violence and death

@queerfables recently wrote an excellent meta on slash fiction and the concept of "Taking Away the Glass". I had some thoughts, which I was going to add as a reblog, but this seems to spiraled away from the original post, so I'm posting this on its own, but I'm referencing their ideas and references, so maybe go read that first.

This is especially for those of you who are, say, under 25 (which is apparently most of Tumblr), and who haven't had much opportunity to learn queer history. Let me say, I'm not a queer historian. I am a queer who has lived through recent history and can reasonably clearly remember the last at least 35 years of it, and I was fortunate to have had schooling that did include some earlier queer history and didn't shy away from queer topics. (I recognize now what a revolutionary bit of teaching that was.)

I also want to acknowledge that I'm writing from a place of relative privilege, as a white cis woman living in a progressive part of North America, and that some of what is history for me is still life for others. I am speaking from my own personal experiences here -they are by no means universal. But I think it's important for us to share our stories, so this is part of mine.

When You're Dying in America, at the End of the Millenium

Fables quotes a video by thingswithwings as saying "Homosexuality, or just loving touch between two people of the same gender, is equivalent to death in this media narrative." In the 1980s and 1990s, when Good Omens was written and first published, that wasn't a metaphor. When I was a baby proto-queer, what I heard about being gay was that it killed you.

My formative memories of what it meant to be gay weren't pride parades or even riots. It was gay men dying by the thousands and governments and religious leaders ignoring them at best, and welcoming their deaths at worst. To be gay, and a gay man in particular, was to be marked for death. It wasn't until a straight white boy who got it from a blood transfusion died that AIDS became something that "normal" people had any empathy for and governments really started to act.

The gay representation I rember in the media as a moderately sheltered child from the 80s and 90s with left-of-center middle class white parents was news about AIDS, Philadelphia (death from AIDS), Ellen (cancelled after she came out), and eventually RENT (desperately trying not to die of AIDS or capitalism). I knew a very small handful of out gay adults, and no trans adults at all.

My first time being in a large group of queer people was a vigil for Matthew Sheppard, who had been beaten and left to die tied to a fence. I remember being terrified. I wasn't out yet. I knew people who hated us might be there, this group of mostly young queer people gathering with candles to cry over a boy we'd never met, and over the many others who had died just for being what we were. I'd never even kissed a girl yet. I only knew my queerness in relation to death.

In the last decade or so of the 20th century, being queer was about grasping any bit of joy you could from a world that very clearly would prefer you were dead. It was defiance and anger and fear every time you held your love's hand, or kissed them in public. My second date with the person who would become my spouse was interrupted by some dude in a truck shouting slurs at us was we walked down a quiet street. We laughed it off - no one had thrown anything, or beaten us, so it wasn't a big deal. It should have been a big deal, but we couldn't let it be. When you're marked for misery and death, you can't let the little things get to you. You just hold each other's hands as tightly as you can and defiantly keep walking.

An Angel and a Demon and Immortality

Good Omens was written during some of the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic (which is still ongoing, by the way), before there were effective treatments, when gay = death. It is a mainstream, mass-market book. It wouldn't be shelved in the "Gay and Lesbian" section at the book store, it would be shelved with humour, or possibly fantasy.

And yet, here we have these two beings. An angel and a demon, with an unlikely friendship, and who are very clearly written as gay. Or, at least, as percieved as gay by outside observers. Aziraphale in particular is (in one of my favorite lines) "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide," and "THE southern pansy" (self-proclaimed). Together, they are "consenting bicycle repairmen" (Neil Gaiman's explanation for context) who Anathema was safe with the whole time.

Whether you caught the subtextual shippyness of their relationship (and to be honest, I only did a little when I first read it), they were very obviously written as precieved-gay characters, in a story where their precieved gay-ness wasn't the cause of their downfall. Yes, an 11 year old calls Aziraphale a faggot. But he doesn't get arrested or beaten of killed - he just gets covered in cake. And he loves cake! The attempted insult just rolls off him like water off a duck's back, because he has no pressure not to be visibly gay.

Becuase, see, unlike us humans, unlike his gay contemporaries, he is not marked for death. He's an angel. He's immortal. Even more, he was made by God, exactly how God wanted, presumably, and that is intelligent, English, and so very gay.

Niel and Terry are saying so much here. You can be gay and loved. You can be gay and have a deep relationship. You can be gay because that's how God made you. You can be gay forever, through all time, with someone beside you, finding joy in your life.

You can be gay and not die. You can be gay and live.

[kittsyspaw]

⌇ Sinu Han x F!Reader

Oh, is there someone else or not? 'Cause I wanna keep you close. I don't wanna lose my spot 'Cause I need to know if you're hurting him or hurting me. ୨୧

╰┈➤ is there someone else? -The Weeknd

- This is a half-smut chapter from my lookism x reader book on wattpad (Loveism– Kittsyspaw) i deleted it there and decided to write it here for the people who wanted it.

- This is an old Smut that I wrote so don't mind any mistakes or lack of description please!

- You were working with the workers (in case you're confused on why you're in the underground place)

WARNINGS !! : Cockblocker, Begging, Dry thigh humping, Sub!Reader–Dom!Character, Kinda Dom? Reader at the end, Crying etc. (BTW IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ IF YOU'RE UNDER THE AGE OF 18+)

"Oh god, I failed geography how I'm I supposed to know where i am?" You stared at the many, many corridors.

While you were walking, you saw a head peak out one of the door making you stop in your tracks, sinu immediately pulled his head inside, waiting for you to walk past so he could snatch you.

"Nah..jit tryna kidnap me, thats crazy..." You took slow steps, backing to the other side of the hall so the man couldn't grab you, it that was his plan, either way, you had seen him.

"Dammit! You saw me! And I thought I was hidden very well" he sulked making you chuckle.

Sinu signaled you to come closer, rolling his eyes when you only stepped a few steps towards so he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside the room.

He trapped you against the door "Did we ever meet before? I swear I know you" a hand reached for the mask that covered your face.

Slowly pulling away the oni mask, his eyes widened when he saw the familiar face, Sinu stared at you in shock, of course he knew you! He couldn't remember where or when, but he definitely knew you.

"Y/n?! Y/n right??! I- I know you!" He shook you by the shoulders, sinu didnt remember you having a scar, but who cares?

"So you do remember me? I missed you, sinu" Sinu's chest ached when you gave him a sad frown, name leaving your mouth laced with the softest tone.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, hugging you tightly as if you'd disappear any second.

You felt a part on top of your head get heavy, tears. "I can't remember when but I swear I remember you, I could never forget you" he cried, burying his face into your head, taking in the sweet aroma of your shampoo.

Sinu pulled away and traced the scars on your face "what happened y/n?" He asked, his eyebrows knitting, his face falling into a worried one when you started tearing up.

"H-hey! Is it a personal question? I'm sorry!" You let out a laugh "No! I'm just glad you remember me...and nothing happened don't worry."

You really were...having no idea what happened to him and the last time you saw your childhood friend – he didnt even recognize you which made everything worse.

His cheeks turned red when you grinned up at him, the corners of your mouth curling in the most sweet way he's seen.

Its as if...his heart melted right there, how can someones smile just bright up his day like that?

"Oh shit, I better get going-" "no!" Sinus lips tugged down in a frown.

"Don't go.." The circus was starting soon too, but sinu didn't want to, staying with you is better for him, he wanted to feel you again.

"Sinuu, the chairman is calling me, we'll probably meet someday again" He gasped, "And what if we don't?! No!" The big man hugged you again, prisoning you in his embrace.

You rested your head against his chest, you didnt want to go either, but Eugene would probably scold you the whole time and you didnt want to hear any of it.

"What about the neko girl? Didnt she call you or something"

"no...?"

"Hm, who even is she?"

"The CEO"

Your next words left as a simple mutter beneath your steady breath, it wasn't meant for your childhood friend to hear– but he did.

"oh. Explains, she's obsessed with you.."

"What was that?"

"Nothing"

You and sinu stared deeply into each others eyes, not breaking the contact. "Sinu, did you know that I met Samuel?" You regret saying that, remembering that he forgot everything for some reason.

"Samuel...? Samuel?" "Yeah, a friend of mine!" "Ohhh, thats...cool." He gave a bitter smile

"is he a guy?"

"Yeah!"

"Stay away from him! All they want to do is play you!"

The cries made you chuckle, he was still caring as ever, well he never even liked you being around a living being who was a male because apparently 'They're all bad for you'

While time was passing, you tried to figure out why he forgot almost everything, maybe an accident? 'He does have new scars..'

The man even took of his shirt just for you to see, his body going stiff at the fingers that ran over the scars on his chest, shoulders and stomach.

Sinu kept you in his embrace as you sat on his lap "You're spacing out, what wrong?" You shook your head "nothing, just thinking about the lecture I'm boutta get"

"Well, I really have to go now :(" you shut off your phone after the message Eugene sent you "Wait! Aren't you gonna pepper my face with kisses? Like back then-?"

Sinu clutched his head after something slipped out, did you even do that? What was he blabbering about? Did he make you uncomfortable?

Your smile widened, The smile taking over after calming his train of thoughts.

"of course!!" The black haired man laughed while you gave his whole face small pecks.

You looked at him, confused when he grabbed your face. "You don't know...how much I missed you" you parted your lips as Sinu came nearer.

Did he do this before? It was so...familiar...it was his head– playing out an image where you participated in, your thighs were hugging his hips and–!

He gripped the flesh of yout upper legs when your lips locked, both your eyes closing to feel the passionate, long lasting kiss.

Sinus eyes shot open when your lips quivered against his, worry working him up when fat tears ran down your chin.

"Baby...why are you crying?" He wiped away the crystal clear tears as you sniffled "sorry I got emotional its just-" your voice cracked, everything that happened so far playing in your mind, it's heartbreaking, it all was.

Sinus eyebrows knitted, did he make you cry? Was it someone else? His fist clenched, who was it? "Tell me what's wrong?" He cupped your face, hands shaking.

"A lot, a lot happened, it hurts, sinu..."

Sinu couldn't help but swallow the guilt of feeling joyful, you, the girl he used to cherish and adore, was gripping onto him and calling out his name for comfort.

Sinu held you in a welcoming embrace "I don't know what's the situation, but I'm sure it'll get better, Trust me! My guts are never wrong!" He posed making you laugh, the genuine laugh he hadn't heard in years, it made blood rush to his cheeks.

Sinu was thankful your sad face disappeared and got replaced with a cheerful one. You wrapped your arms around sinus neck pulling him towards you to continue what he started.

You whined against him when Sinu grinded your heat against the meaty surface of his rough thigh by the hips. Pouting when he broke the kiss, you stared at him confused.

"Tell me...tell me how much you missed me"

the man demanded, looking at you with desire that he hadn't to speak up about, it was all shining up his eye that was half lidded, focusing on you.

"Sinu! Please! I missed you so much, so fucking much! It hurt when you didnt know me at first, I thought you forgot everything between us..." Your brain was hazy, letting out your heart as he didnt stop the grinding.

Drool slipped by your lips, dripping down your chest. "Aw, baby...What do you want? Tell me, I'll give you anything" he pecked your lips, chuckling with the time you went dumb for him.

"Please nghh...Sinu! Please..fill me up...I need you inside of me" you sobbed when your cunny got sensitive from the flicking sensation, the inner part of your legs was burning up.

Sinu felt his bulge twitch, it got uncomfortable for him in his tight suit pants. Something about your whines and begging made him feel dizzy, you were so fucking beautiful, crying out for his cock to fill you up.

He wasn't crazy when he said that you could have anyone you wanted, lulling up him like a siren for her desires – that was you.

You flinched when your phone buzzed, shakily taking it out to see Eugene's name through the pleasure tears.

"S-sinu...stop. the chairman..." Yours words fell deaf to the muscular man smirked, wasn't this gonna be fun?

"Why don't you answer lovie? Don't make him wait" you nodded hesitantly, listening to the soothing voice that guide you.

"H-hello!" You bit down on your bottom lip out of embarrassment when your voice cracked. "Y/n? What's wrong? Where are you?" "I'm..I can't find the...exit!" You held in all moans when you felt the coil in your stomach about to snap due to the lava bursting in your guts

"What are you doing?...want me to send someone to get you?" "Mhmmh..." You didn't realize what you were saying and hung up, your mind too overwhelmed by the attention you were getting from Sinu.

You let out a loud, frustrated cry when he stopped the pace, you were seconds away from having your high. the tears that build up your eyes fell down, damping up the fabric they landed on.

"...why did you stop?" You pouted, one flick the aching bundle of nerves could make you melt, but Sinu was so mean!

"Sorry...I think we should go. There's someone who's waiting for you."

He didnt want to stop either, he desperately wanted to see your lewd face but he got a text from Neko while he was keeping you in ecstasy, telling him to get ready.

It angered him, after all those years he finally got a precious moment with you but it got completely torn apart by jealous people.

Sinu was sure that you two weren't gonna see each other anymore and it hurt, piercing right through his heart.

He raised an eyebrow when you straddled his hips, smirking down at him with a glint in your eyes. "What are ya' planning to do?"

A sharp breath was sucked in by Sinu sensing your warm mouth placed on the delicate skin of his neck, sucking until a purplish hickey was painted on it.

With a last giggle, you got up, running towards the door– pointing at his phone as you waved him goodbye.

Fucking hell, you were gonna be the end of him.

Sinu fell back on the bed, his hand running through his hair, regretting the decision he made on letting you go.

He was very messy, a unbelievably annoying bulge judging against his tight pants. The man let out a breath, imagining what type of faces you would make it he had ruined you.

The male was still frustrated, no thought, you left him like this. Sinu got up, walking towards the shower to take a cold bath.

If you found this interesting, you can continue on wattpad (I put the name above n stuff) Its a various x reader and has crossovers with V-hit and Jujutsu kaisen (≧∇≦)

Lmk if you want me doing more Smuts

[eriexplosion]

MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

[killacissa]

Enid Sinclair Certified Paw-Er Ranger

Character Art Credit: GhxstyBoo

It was a cold night at Nevermore, Like any other Enid would be laying on her bed legs in the air waving back and forth as she wrote the latest gossip likely about her Bestie Forestie Wednesday Addams who for some reason was rather absent as of late, She assumed it was for some investigation she was up to, Which is why it fueled her fire for her recent story, Wednesday was on the hunt for something big like aliens! Or something of that nature, she wasn't exactly sure. Eventually though the boredom overtook the young pup once again and she decided to head out venturing into the night mostly to sneak out and grab some food because well, Werewolves tend to eat an all meat diet and while she had lunch werewolves have twice the appetite a normal human does thanks to there gift of, well... growing twice the size of a normal human. While on her expedition to find some nutrition she happened the hear a voice calling out for help, It wasn't normally her first instinct to help but for some reason this time she was compelled to. She sprinted outside with a leap found the person who looked to be wearing some sort of armor they were surrounded on all sides by what looked to be.. grey men? either that or some weird gang in grey spandex. "Another Brat? Sent by that moron no doubt" A deep gravelly voice said. "Ew Gross!" Enid said noticing the voice came from a creature covered in slime with spikes protruding from it's back. "What are you? Night Security?" Asked the creature. "W-Well actually I'm uh- Nevermore Student-" The grey men seemed to not be amused and charged at her and almost as if on instinct she was able to claw at one with her nails and sent the to the floor before throwing another at a tree. "Did I mention I was a werewolf?" Suddenly the creature and more grey men stepped forward. "Take this!" The being on the floor said tossing her a blue glowing object. "What is it?" She asked. "Your destiny!" Suddenly it glowed brighter then the sun in the palm of her hands as she was engulfed and wrapped in a suit of armor. "Not another one!" The creature shouted before rushing at her and within a second with a claw to its chest it was down and out. "Woah! This is like! The coolest thing to happen to me! Wait till Wednesday hears about this!" She began fighting the rest of the grey men who mindlessly still followed the fallen creature's order. It was light work not even the numbers advantage meant a thing to this fusion of Tech and Supernatural ability, Once they were defeated she turned to the person she saved. "Okay dish! What are you? And what am I?" She asked now giddily bouncing up and down her suit's cosmetic wolf tail swaying as she did. "You are... a Power Ranger... Last of our kind... Take the honor with pride... You can't tell anyone or they'll be hurt... You must stop the evil one..." The person said before they faded away leaving Enid confused as to what that meant. "A.. Power Ranger?... Power.. Paw... Paw-er Ranger! That's me!" She said now before the suit disappeared back into the blue object giving to her, now revealed to be a wolf's head being made of some sort of crystal. She got on her phone to call Yoko but remembered what they told her... what a rip! She couldn't even tell anyone. Enid just looked at the crystal and placed it into her pocket before leaving back to her room.. however she did wonder.. who did they mean by the evil one?

[artigas]

in many respects, these past few weeks in my phd program have been some of the most miserable in my entire life. institutions, academia included, cannot love you back and i am learning that in very personal, difficult, and tangible ways. there have been so many moments where i've completely and utterly understood why people give up on doctorate programs. ever since passing comps, i feel like i've had one moment of thinking i can't possibly be more stressed or anxious or uncomfortable until i'm confronted with the next. but here are some small joys:

i won an award for that dracula paper i wrote about blood transfusions. second place in the entire graduate program! hurray!

i published an essay last winter and now i'm in conversation with the person that essay is about, who not only read and loved the paper, but might want to commission me to write more. i have his number in my phone. i might have a really stunning professional opportunity on the other end of our scheduled phone conversation!

i got invited to a conference that is in a totally different field than what i studied. this could be because the conference is that desperate for papers (a real possibility) but maybe this also means that my Poe paper wasn't all that bad if my first attempt at writing something in the medieval field was good enough to warrant being invited to present it. i submitted my paper and haven't yet gotten the confirmation that it got accepted, but the prospect of going to my first conference -- and being personally invited to do so no less! -- is really nice

last, i applied to my first conference (in which i wasn't directly invited to attend), too!! there's a horror conference in new mexico that i'd kill to go to (no pun intended, i'm writing about a slasher film for this one lol) and well .. who knows if they'll accept but i'm so proud of myself for applying in the first place!

UPDATE: I JUST GOT AN EMAIL TELLING ME THAT MY HORROR PAPER GOT ACCEPTED THE SAME FUCKIN DAY I APPLIED. AHH!!

this is all to say ... i have to remember what a good friend said today: just because i'm having a horrible time doesn't mean i'm horrible at this. i gotta muscle through. i can do hard things. it won't be this difficult forever.

[inkblackorchid]

I was gonna try to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. I just can't. I have to go on another Aki rant because I feel like I'm going to explode. It's about this scene:

This drives me insane and I'm putting this under a readmore. Expect incoherent screaming, all ye who enter here.

Ok. Ok. I have so many issues with this scene. Specifically, with the way it develops later, when Aki's busy trying to figure out how to save a child from being swept up by a storm:

And I just. Look, I think the fact that I already wrote a fic that basically completely turns Aki's reaction here on its head should basically tell you everything. But! But. Allow me to defend why I think this whole scene is one big heap of horseshit, with a bit of analysis of canon and actual evidence to back up my claims and shit.

The thing is, I have seen people give this scene a charitable read. I've seen people be happy for Aki to enjoy freedom from the psychic powers that have given her so much trouble in her life. And the thing is, if this were season one or season two Aki, I would be completely on board with that take. Unfortunately, this scene is preceded by the pre-WRGP arc. But more on that below.

Moreover, I can make an educated guess about what they were going for here (in terms of messaging, because this is a kids' show at the end of the day and messaging is something you have to be properly concerned with when it comes to these). I can imagine it running somewhere along the lines of "you don't need special powers to be a hero". Or even "you can grow past the hurt and/or the mistakes in your life and still become a good person or even a hero". And really, I wish I could believe that take. It's just. The writing simply doesn't add up. I wish it did, but it doesn't.

This is where we get back to the pre-WRGP arc. And not just that, actually, but the timeskip between the dark signers and pre-WRGP arc, too. Because the thing is, the last time we have seen Aki in anguish about her powers on-screen by the time the episodes above (108-109) arrive was during the DS arc, during the duel with her father, which happened during episodes 40-41. 40. to. 41. This was over sixty episodes ago at this point. And after that, that's it. As far as the DS arc is concerned, Aki's conflict about her powers is resolved the second she controls them for the first time when her father tries to interfere in her second duel against Yusei.

(Yeah, remember this moment? That was literally the last time we saw Aki in conflict with her powers.)

And I know some people would argue "but what about the dark signer duel with Misty?". And yes, I get it. Misty does accuse her of having murdered her brother with her powers and Aki gets incredibly (understandably) upset about it. But the thing is, we know that's fake, and during the duel, Aki knows that, too. She goes as far as insisting that there were no casualties at the duel where Misty thinks Toby died.

(Yes, I have screenshot proof for literally every dumb little thing in this show, why do you ask?)

It's only after Misty keeps pushing and backing her into a corner during their duel (and literally gaslighting her) that she begins to believe Misty's version of the events. Which is why this doesn't "count" as Aki being in conflict with her powers the way her second duel with Yusei does. At least not to me, feel free to debate me over this if you wanna.

Okay, but what am I driving at here? Fair question. Let me hop back to after the dark signers' defeat.

So, we know there's a half-year timeskip between the DS and the pre-WRGP arc (which was allegedly enough for NDC to connect the city and Satellite, deal with all the social issues that entailed, and also build a giant duel network, which I will never believe but I digress). Unfortunately, what exactly our main characters did during that timeskip is never addressed, it's just kind of there to segway immediately into the WRGP setup. So the only thing we can do is guess at what they got up to based on where they are as people by the time we get back to them during the start of the pre-WRGP arc. So where's Aki at when we see her again after the dark signers' defeat then?

Oh, she's attending duel academy again now! That's nice. So that probably means the student body isn't scared shitless of her anymore and she's not being ostracised anymore.

Wow, she's an exceptional student! That means she must be a really good duellist. So she got the hang of her powers, then?

...Ah.

Do you start to see my problem? Past the DS arc, we are not being given any indication that Aki is still struggling with her powers or still resents them or herself like she used to. You could be forgiven for thinking that she's healed in the meantime. She's fine. She has accepted herself and can now use her powers safely. Which makes her later claiming "she no longer needs that cursed power" a bit... hmmm. And another thing. The fact that she refers to it as "cursed" rubs me the wrong way. After the defeat of the dark signers, she literally never does that even a single time before the moment in the hospital during the storm. (I'd post all the screenshots to prove it here but for one, tumblr doesn't allow it, and for two, I hope you'll believe I did my due diligence without it.)

And it just irks me. If the powers are still a "curse" to Aki by episodes 108-109, why give us the moment above?

And why give us this moment, where she saves Sherry, Yusei, and herself with those powers?

And why give us this moment, where she literally uses her powers at a public event to protect people, and is evidently not cussed out as a witch for it? Neither of these moments do anything to indicate that Aki still hates her powers. They don't indicate that she sees them as a "beast of burden" or necessary evil of a sort, either. On the contrary, I don't think it would be too out there to claim all these moments make her look rather badass. Like a small celebration of "hey, now she can finally use these powers for cool and not evil things!".

Yet, somehow, we still end up with episodes 108-109, where the writers expect the audience to buy that Aki was secretly still hoping she might eventually be rid of these powers after all. And maybe this would be easier to swallow if there weren't also the fact that they later literally go back on it to add to this confusing mess. Because the thing is, we all know the finale scene after the three-way duel with Sherry where Aki protects them with her powers (which have suddenly reappeared, aha!) again and also finds out she can use these powers to heal. So not only is the framing of Aki suddenly being glad to have lost her powers extremely weird, it's also temporary anyway!

So my question is. What was the point. What was the point of all this if the writers ended up going back on it anyway? Because I want to believe there's a reasonable, charitable explanation that also makes sense with what they show us in terms of Aki's characterisation past the DS arc, but if there is, I cannot for the life of me find it. If anything, this whole thing feels like it completely contradicts itself.

First, they tie up Aki's conflict with her powers with a neat bow after she manages not to hurt her father anymore. Then, they launch into the pre-WRGP arc and blatantly tell us that she can now control them. No questions asked. Indisputable fact, and we get nothing that contradicts that, either. Then, we get a bunch of setup showing her using her powers, too, and what's more, we get other significant players in the cast taking notice of it, too, as though it might become relevant. Because Sherry isn't the only one who gets curious about Aki's powers.

(I will never understand how Placido's hood works together with his horn-thingies and have stopped trying at this point.)

The literal, central antagonists of season 3-4 also take notice of it. Like that means something. Like it'll come up again later. But, well. We know it doesn't.

Instead, she suddenly loses her powers out of nowhere (and we are never given a reason for it, either, which does nothing to make this writing decision seem anymore understandable). And, look. The thing that upsets me most about this isn't even the fact that it feels a little inconsistent with Aki's character post DS arc. If that were the only problem, I could still suspend my disbelief far enough to go along with the idea that she secretly still hated her powers quietly in the background and wanted them gone anyway. What really pisses me off is that it reeks of zero setup and knee-jerk decisions in the writing room ten miles against the wind. If they wanted us to believe Aki's glad to be rid of her powers, why give absolutely no indication that she's at odds with them past episode 41 anymore? Why let her state outright that she can now control them? Why show her on several occasions using them to her own and other people's benefit, the way a hero would? And if her powers are supposed to vanish and it's supposed to make sense, why is there no reason for it? They already used cyborg timetravel at that point, they could have literally come up with any nonsense related to that and it would have probably made at least more sense than just letting her powers vanish for no reason at all. Also, if the message behind all this is supposed to be either of the things I mentioned way above—if the idea the audience is supposed to be getting is either "you don't need special powers to be a hero" or "your past and/or your mistakes don't define you and you can heal and grow past them"—why reintroduce the powers, which, in this reading, would be a symbol of Aki's pain, of her mistakes and her dreaded past, at the very end, during the finale, then? It just doesn't add up, and it frustrates me to no end.

The writers wanted to make the moment Aki realises she can help people (well, one person, a child) without her powers seem triumphant so bad, but every time I watch it, it just completely falls flat for me. This isn't a triumph, this is a hot mess of bad writing decisions. All I'm saying is, if they wanted me to buy that Aki would be happy about losing her powers here, they were missing a hefty amount of setup and also shouldn't actually have given them back to her during the finale (no, not even as healing powers).

Moreover... I'll freely admit I also have a personal problem with this scene. I've seen this show and these episodes several times by now, and during my last rewatch and my current one, something about this scene has been creeping up on me, and I think I've figured out what that is now. So I talked about the possible message behind this scene already, and the reading I've given so far was fairly forgiving. But the thing is, there is another reading that has occurred to me that I can't unsee anymore. As much as you could make a valid case that this scene is trying to say that people don't need to be special to be heroes and save others, that past mistakes don't define us, and yadda yadda, there's also a much, much less pleasant way to interpret this scene: "You're better off if you don't stand out." And I'll freely admit, this interpretation probably occurs to me specifically because I was considered a "weird kid" at school, singled out by bullies, and avoided by "popular" kids (take a wild guess why I relate to Aki so much!). And over the years, you learn to downplay that "weirdness" because you become desperate to be accepted by someone, anyone. And given everything the show gives us about Aki's relationship with her powers, it'd make sense that this idea would be buried somewhere in her head, too. It's better not to stand out. Don't be weird. Sand down your edges so there's no chance people could get upset about them. You're better off being whatever everyone else considers "normal" than being whoever you are. It doesn't matter if this is a part of who you are, just become someone else. Someone who's easier to accept. Who's easier to love. You don't need your "weirdness".

You don't need this cursed power.

You know, the "cursed power" that Aki had from the beginning of the show, that was a part of her for years, and that the show didn't give any indication could vanish. The power that we were led to believe would just be there forever, because it was simply a part of Aki, not a conscious thing she (or the narrative) could choose. The power that we were, for all intents and purposes, led to believe she had mastered and maybe even accepted along the way. But sure, let's get rid of that. It's better if she's """normal""". And more convenient for the writers, too! After all, if she doesn't have powers anymore, they can't cause plotholes (of which the WRGP already has enough) and can't possibly give Aki any more badass moments, which makes it that much easier to sideline her. And let's package this weird, shittily set-up moment in a message about how she's better off without her powers anyway. She's happy! It makes complete sense that she's happy. She's finally normal like everyone else. Ignore the way people who might relate to the character could possibly interpret this moment differently. And ignore how none of the writing surrounding this moment makes sense.

...Sigh.

Okay, I think I've let off enough steam. I just. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I cannot for the life of me view this scene in a favourable way and watching it today made me want to chew glass tbh. My only solace is that they went back on this trainwreck writing decision in the finale. Which, really, just makes this whole mess really, really pointless, doesn't it?

For anyone who stuck around this long, thanks for reading. Sorry if this got extra-rant-y. Idk man, I just think “it’s worth the effort to accept yourself as you are, even with all the bits you might not like at first” would have been a better message than whatever this turned out to be.

[windsweptinred]

Shipper tag game

Thank you for the tag @marvagon, you glorious human 💖💖💖.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

None. I may not be as passionate about them as I once was. But I still hold all my past ships near and dear to my heart. I'll even occasionally nip into their tags on A03 and have a dip into newer fics.

What ship would you consider your first one?

Daiken/Kensuke from Digimon 02. I remember watching it on Saturday morning and wondering if anyone else was seeing what I was seeing. That led me to discover Fanfiction.net. And the rest is history...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

My very first full length fic was Corinthiel, posted here on Tumblr. My first fic posted on AO3 was Dreamling, and I wrote both last year. I am a very, very, very late comer to fanfic 😅. I'm honestly much more at home drawing fanart then writing. But will occasionally give into temptation, when an idea obbsessively hounds me to the point of insanity.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

I genuinely can't. 😅 I remember it was probably on deviantart.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

I try desperately to stay out of ship discourse. To me people's ships are their joy... And I've got no interest in being a theif of joy. If there's something I want to see more of in the fandom, like a rare pair I'm fond of, I just try and create content and hope someone else joins in (@bobbole loves you 💚🤍😅) . If it's not for me, I just keep scrolling on by.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Again, no. I've always been happy to pick and mix my ships. I have my favorites ofcourse. But I've never outright refused to dip my toe into any ship. Maybe if it ventured into an area I personally deemed problematic. But mostly, I'm happy to try anything once.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

I'm currently reading Remy Lebeau x Logan fanfic from Xmen. 😅 What sent me in that direction, I do not know. But I've found some amazing new fics in and amongst revisiting some old favourites.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I can proudly say until recently I've never had an OTP. Being a multishipper makes that kind of hard. But I don't know, I may be in too deep with Corinthiel. I'm not sure I could picture Danny and the Second Corinthian with anyone else but each other now. (Curse you @ibrithir-was-here. See what you have wraught! 😆). Them and Charmes (Charon x Hermes) from Hades. Because why would you split up the professional associates like that?! (Again very much your fault @mashumaru 😆) , Damn, I guess I've got OTPs now. If there's an established, happy couple in canon, most of the time I'll respect that and leave them be. So I guess that kind of counts too.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Again no. If the juggernaut ship of a fandom doesn't really tickle my fancy, I'll sometimes stare forlornly at it. And sigh like a sad bohemian poet. But that's all content envy and I know it. 😆

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

🤔 I didn't dislike it, but I never really ventured near Corintheus until I started shipping Corinthiel. That made me backtrack and consider Morpheus and the original Corinthian's relationship from an entirely different perspective.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

No I don't think so. As far as know they're all still alive, well and for the most part, living in peace and harmony in their respective fandoms.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Bookend, Destiny and his Book. The old book and chain. Living their best, grumpy old married couple, life together. @jazzy-a 🤜🤛🤣.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Most recently was Dreamling. I'm a bit of fandom butterfly at the moment, fluttering between multiple fandoms, waiting for the next all consuming passion to strike me down. I read, and reread ANYTHING Corinthiel 😅. But of all time?..... I couldn't say. I revisit so many of my ships so often.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Two bastards in love will always be my favourite. I'd love to boldly claim it's all about two morally dubious rogues, being despicable in the kinkiest ways together. 😅 But I know it's more about two people, often misunderstood and maligned... Finding a deep sense of belonging with each other. But I'm an eclectic sort and I've got a lot ships that don't fit that category I still love dearly.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Absolutely nothing outright. I'll sometimes go off a ship a little once it reaches that point where fanon locks in too tight around it. But I think that's a very me problem, as I crave variation/new experiences/ideas. I'll still love the ship, I'll just know that's just my time to move onto something new and come back and visit every so often.

I'm tagging @martybaker @thelostkelpie @missingrache @thirrith @zigzag-wanderer @lucienne-thee-librarian and @tickldpnk8 and anyone mentioned above. If you want to have a go. 😁

[androgynousblackbox]

The horror of our love. 1 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Luci

"By all accounts, it looked to be a normal notebook. It weighted like one, it felt like one. You could even opened it and go through the pages as you would with any other. On the page immediately after the cover there was a seal reading "This journal belong to" with the name Alastor Abaddon first written on the dotted line, then scratched to put instead Alastor Magne.

The actual difference started once you wrote on any of them. If one wanted, they could use any utensils for it, but the words were better received when using a quill and ink. The letters dissapeared in a matter of seconds and soon enough a response would appear right underneath. It didn't had to be a question either. You could write something on the most horrid grammar possible and the words written would mercilessly tell correct you, usually with some insult throw in the mix. If the offending bad grammar continued, the notebook would close by itself and anyone opening it up again would be greeted with another sarcastic remark about the clear lack of literacy going on.

But that would only happen if someone was just fucking around with it, testing it like a new toy and wasting everyone's time, wouldn't it? Absolutely not the thing someone should be doing with something like this. So instead it's mostly used to answer questions. It can't answer everything, and some questions it doesn't want to answer even though probably knows it, but a good deal it can.

Some of those inquiries are easy.

Did you really belonged to person whose name is written on the front?

Yes.

What can you tell me about him?

Anything.

Anything like what?

Sometimes it's not letters that emerges from the pages. Sometimes there are some scribbles. Mainly faces with sharp teeth and smiles that extend far beyond what any real face would allow. That was the answer to the last question. Point taken: you have to be a little more especific than that. It doesn't like it when you are too vague.

The first time that we got it and we realized what it was, after the initial surprise, it asked us who we were. So I wrote it. We were students of professor Magne that went to Hogwarts before it closed. The journal took a while to write back.

A professor?

When those words vanished, others came underneath.

What happened at the school?

I should have throw away that thing the moment that came out. Now is that I see that. The whole point of this is to find out what happened that night, the one right before any student came back to start a new year. There was no witnesses left. All the other teachers, the headmaster, everyone gone. There was so much blood everywhere.

I don't really need to go into too much details about it, do I? It was all over the papers. People still remembered it on each anniversary. People keep making theories about what happened to this day, because that is the thing. Nobody knows what happened. The only thing we do know for sure is that professor Magne was not among the deceased. They found a body that looked like him, chopped into pieces and half eaten like everyone else, but that only lasted as far as the effect of the potion wore off. I had to ask a few favors in order to find that out. No, to make sure that it was exactly what I was thinking of. I am not proud of it. This is exactly the kind of shit we are going to keep off the records if we do decide to go public about this.

Grave digging is not my kind of hobby.

If that motherfucker really did all I know he did, then fuck it. I will do what it takes. If he is dead, then good, I was wrong and I don't have to think about this any more. But if the body that is buried under the headstone with his name doesn't match, then he better be preparing his ass because I am coming for it.

The body that was buried there was too short. The suit that they have put on him for what was supposed to be his resting place was sagging all over it, and not because it had been years since it happened. I remember professor Magne towering all over us even in our final year. That wasn't him. I don't know who that is. Some homeless person, maybe? There was no report of any person missing nearby, none that matched that matched with what we… I found.

That is how all of this started.

He is still out there. Probably doing the same shit he did to all of those people right as I speak. The same shit that he was doing at school even before that night. There was never any other monster who just got hungry and escaped. It's not about proof, not that alone. He needs to be stopped. If there is anything that can help us towards that goal, I will do it. I should have done something when I had my suspicions, because I always knew something wrong with that guy, but I was just some dumb kid back then who had no resources, no connections, nothing. I might still be dumb, but ain't no kid no more. I can move some strings of my own now.

The notebooks was the first one of the pieces that we discovered. When they cleaned up the whole castle, it was discovered among the books in one of the libraries. Everyone just assumed that it was the diary of one of the tragically deceased victims, so they send it to the last relative that professor Magne. Problem is, he didn't had any relative left so it kinda got lost in the system. That gave us a good headache for a while until we found it on a second hand store. The lady that sold it to us said she received it from a friend on the Ministery that needed to get rid of a bunch of old stuf that was just occupying space. She had no idea what it was. She never tried to write on it.

We did. We could have burn it, turn it into ashes, and hope that fucker, wherever he is, can feel every second of those pages being consumed. See if he likes it when he is the one being devoured for once. I still haven't fully rule it out, once we can squeeze anything useful out of it. For now, this is the closest we have to talking to him.

The notebook writes like a well educated kid would have. A kid made it after all. That thought alone is so wrong. Knowing how these things are made makes it so much more messed up. But if I keep concentrating on every single disgusting, horrible, questionable shit I find out about him, then this is just never going to end. More people are going to die and I am just going to be here, hoping my next hangover at least make it easy to forget. So powerthrough this is all I have.

I write that "a monster ate everyone at school one night."

That is the official version at least. It writes back.

A monster? What kind of monster?

I don't know. Nobody saw it. It had to be big though.

After a while, the next words appear.

Do you know Luci?

No. Who is Luci?

It takes a whole minute for it to respond.

Luci is my best friend. If you know where they are, take me with them.

The words vanished just as easy as they came. Of course we researched that. There was no kid whose name could be shortened as Luci on the generation when professor Magne was a student at Hogwarts. Not on his, not on any of the other years, not in the entire school. There were Elizabeths, three Lucious because that name was popular apparently and even one Luz that was two years ahead of him. I couldn't find any immediate evidence that he was close with any of them. I didn't miss either the fact it wasn't telling me any gender.

So I ask it to tell me more about this Luci. I can't really take him to this friend if I don't know the first thing about who they are or what they look like, can I? If he told me that, then maybe we can find them and give them the notebook like Alastor, or this version of Alastor at least, would have wanted.

I could tell you everything, but I don't know if you would like it, appeared on the page. Some people tend to find it upsetting.

I don't mind upsetting, I write back. Sometimes I read horror novels for fun. I have a strong stomach.

You do?

Something about those two simple words makes me read them with the voice of the professor in my head. Using that same gleeful tone he had just before he dropped something horrible onto all of us during class, when neither of us could escape it. I can almost see the gleeful anticipation on his brown eyes as he waits the perfect moment for it.

Yes, I write, because I will take anything I can get. Anthony is reading above my shoulder and my mouth is a bit dry as the quill moves with my hand. Do you have a story for me?

A smiley face is my answer before the notebook closes by itself. Then it opens again, running up to the first page, that ironically we never used when communication with it. We just use whichever we happened to land on. As we see them, entire parragraph start appearing in front of our eyes, as if this thing had all the words at the ready.

I still can hear the voice of that fucker on them."

"Then allow me to start from the beginning, as many stories do. Please, sit back, relax and let me tell you all about how I met the love of my life.

[rachel-zx]

Some Yunshi Work – Analysis and Little Study of Die Society

(Originally written in Chinese and roughly translated. There could be some translation differences regarding the quoted source such as the Holy Bible, or some tense errors.)

First of all, this article started on Sunday, 28 July, 2024, and ended on Monday, 16 September, 2024, and there was a month in between when I didn't touch it at all for personal reasons, so for something I don't remember much about the details I wanted to write. Secondly, the title of this combination(Yunshi is a person’s other name who wrote a sequel for the unfinished A Dream of Red Mansions) expresses the purpose of my writing this thing: DS, Die Society, since you can see this article, probably have seen DS? I guess? However, I would like to briefly mention to those who have not seen this series: DS is a self-made drama series that I have been watching, the producer is called Jim, and the protagonist is audience "played" (so the gender is uncertain, because I am a straight female, so the following default protagonist is a straight female), and the theme has strong religious and cult elements. The first season has ended, and the second season is in a hiatus. The story is outlined below.

The total time extend of the DS update has been nearly four years, and it has been a year since the last update, and there is still no news of the next episode. In the meantime, he's been updating other videos, and I almost think he's given up on the series. So, really impatient, I decided to do my own large-scale combing and analysis, to do a little of the work, that is, "Yunshi Work" - although the original author is still alive and well (A Dream of Red Mansions is unfinished because the author was dead.), and I have always wished him to live to the age of 140.

One. Season 1 story summary, clue collection and brief analysis

(The following "we" is the protagonist)

1. SIE1 - Ricardo's spin class

Synopsis:

The story takes place in California, and we come to a gym for a spin class with a trainer named Ricardo. He stopps us after class and tells us that the place is owned by Hugo Hoffman, a wealthy man whose house often hosts parties. Ricardo is going to hire a part-time job for the boss Hugo, the salary is very good, if we are interested, we should go to a Valencia woman for makeup, and then go to Ricardo's girlfriend Erisa to take a photo to Hugo for his approvement to go. In addition, Ricardo mentions that if we could go, there is a bad-tempered bodyguard at the door of Hugo's mansion, he can’t remember the name, and we need to tell him a password, called "hilarious". After that, Ricardo wishs us luck.

Clues:

a. " I can't get over this feeling that I've seen you somewhere before." - Ricardo

A short analysis:

The first episode is basically a setting, not a lot of information, just introducing five characters, including Ricardo, and a "feel like I've seen you somewhere before," but it's clearly not flirting, but creating a bit of a suspicious atmosphere.

2. S1E2 - Make-up by Valencia's Pool

Synopsis:

We find Valencia, who is wearing a necklace with the Hebrew symbol for Chai (meaning ‘alive’), and she begins to do our make-up. As she does the make-up, she tells us things. Mainly the relationships of several characters, such as the fact that Ricardo and Erisa are not really boyfriend and girlfriend, but just wishful thinking on Ricardo's part; that she herself was penniless in the beginning, and was taken in and rehabilitated by Hugo; and that Hugo is a man who is very tolerant of all lifestyles, and takes care of his own people out of starvation, and so on. She also mentions for us to be ourselves, to be a fire that would light the world on fire. After that she mentios that we are advised to keep a clear head before the party. Finally, she compliments us and tells us to stay out of trouble with the goon at the door, she says his name is Gabe, an Antipodean, and doesn't mention anything else.

Clues:

a. “Little Cherub.”- Valencia

b. Valencia mentioned that we have a hidden ‘purity’. (Too long to quote. Same below.)

c. “You are something very special.” - Valencia

A short analysis:

Valencia doesn't have much information in this episode, even though she talks all the time, mainly mentioning some interpersonal relationships between characters and character traits, as well as spouting off about Ricardo. It's worth noticing that here she calls us ‘cherub’, a type of angel, but our names remain unknown or undetermined until episode five, when our names (or codenames) are confirmed.

The second appearance of the ‘guy at the door’. (The vocabulary used is Antipodean, the first time I know this word to represent Australians.)

3. S1E3 - Elisa's social media photo taking

Synopsis:

After getting our makeup done with Valencia, we came to Erisa. Erisa was a goth beauty, said Hugo knew everyone. After a brief conversation, she began to take pictures of us. And then she said, we should relax at the party, and it's easy money, and she's done it before, and then Hugo gave her a real chancet, and she became part of the family. Finally, she said, before the party starts, eat and drink.

Clues:

a. "It's like a family. Beautiful beautiful family. And once you are in, he'll look after you, forever. " - Erisa

A short analysis:

There is even less information in this episode than in the first two, and the only contradiction is the name of Elisa the name, whether it is Elisa or Erisa. Till now, the characters have called her "Erisa", which is what she calls herself, but the title says "Eisa". She'll explain that later.

In addition, she mentions that "we are like a family, Hugo will always take care of you", which corresponds to the words of Valencia in the second episode, and also corresponds to the rest of the plot.

The first three episodes are basically background laying, the DS religious elements are basically absent, and the next episode is the official start of the story.

4. S1E4 - Hugo's Bloody Dinner Party

Synopsis:

We arrive at Hugo's front door and see the bodyguard who has been mentioned twice. He stopped us and we reported the "hilarious" password, which he said was incorrect and had to call Hugo to confirm our identities. He did a routine check on us and collected our lighter and mobile phone. Suddenly he said, if we do not want to come, we can go now, see we do not want to go, he says, if there is something wrong, or we drink too much, use the com in each room to call him in, and he will get us out. And he also says that we don't look like anyone who had worked for Hugo before. After that, he told us the password was not hilarious, but "Hail Eris."

After a burst of party music, all the previous bad omens were fulfilled - we have been kidnapped. Hugo, Ricardo, Valencia, Elisa are all here. They are dressed in fancy clothes, but Elisa refuses to wear a mask and is more rebellious. Hugo says that they worship Eris, and that we must sacrifice our blood and combine it with gold to give them eternal life.

Clues:

a. " You look a little different to the people who usually work for Mr. H. " - Bodyguard

b. "Hail Eris"

c. "This is Eris's habitat, and we are all propagators of chaos." - Hugo (This is the haunt of Eris. We are demagogues for chaos.)

d. " Your lifeblood. Combine it with monotonical gold. Super conductive property which allows our bodies to regenerate over time, and allows us to live forever. " - Hugo ()

A short analysis:

First of all, the bodyguard who appeared twice in the line appeared, and the words were madly implying that we had a problem with this party and we could leave. But at the same time, he said, "You look different," and that's part of the problem - where are we different?

Regarding this password, we can see that Eris is similar to Erisa, which makes it suspicious of Elisa's identity. Eris was the mythical goddess of chaos, and specific questions about theology and pagan rituals are discussed further below. Anyway, the main story finally begins in this episode.

5. S1E5 - Gabriel's rescue

Synopsis:

We were taken blood by Hugo, weak and dying, Ricardo was wearing headphones, listening to music, dancing in front of us, suddenly the front door bodyguard rushed in, shot Ricardo, grabbed us who was gradually falling into coma out. The next time we woke up, we were in his car. It was a rainy night outside. He said his name was Gabriel and he was going to take us to the hospital, but Hugo would send his goons Doom and Gloom to hunt us down. He saw that we had lost so much blood that he had to stop the car and bandage us up, explaining that he was with the Vatican Guard, an undercover agent sent to Hugo's house. He wasn't doing anything, and his superiors wouldn't let him, until us, he finally decided to defy his superiors and save us. After apologizing and explaining, he returned to the driver's seat, but by this time, the two killers had overtaken him, shot Gabriel, and stunned us.

Clues:

a. " Hey, Angel, Angel, stay with me, okay? " - Gabriel

b. "I'm on a mission from God." - Gabriel

c. "I'm in Swiss Guard." - Gabriel

A short analysis:

Gabriel's name officially came out, and he called us "Angel", which officially became our names/codename in the DS (I always suspected that we actually had real name and told Gabriel, we'll get to that when I write S2E3), but how did we become Angel? How did Gabriel know we were an angel?

Gabriel was one of the common "rescue characters" in the early era of Jim's videos (2018-2020), saving us from trouble and sometimes getting hurt themselves (I can count at least four of them anyway: Gabriel, Dimi, Hamer, John the Black Eye, and, if you consider the open-ended ending to be bad ending, Malenkee too).

By doing God's work, which he'll say again later, does that mean literally? Or is there some deeper meaning?

Swiss Guard - It's confusing here, the Swiss Guard has to be Swiss. Gabriel, how does an Australian get into the Swiss Guard? He'll explain later. We will come back to this later.

In addition, it is well known that the name "Gabriel" is an angel's name, and is the only character in the entire series to be named after an angel, which may or may not have a special purpose. He'll mention the name himself later.

6. S1E6 - Doom and Gloom's Torment

Synopsis:

Doom and Gloom are a couple. Doom's a mute. Gloom talks to us. First he took the phrase "Your boyfriend is kicking" to let us know that Gabriel was still alive. And then they started torturing us brutally to punish us for escaping. At one point he mentions a cousin named Eletta or Regretta (doubt it doesn't matter). He hurt us badly, and he ended up saying Ricardo was Hugo's son, and he got shot, so Hugo wanted a revenge. When it comes to revenge and "God as my..."as he spoke, a holy light shone on Gloom, who started to burn with smoke and died. Doom gets up in anger, only to hear sirens, and he has to leave.

Clues:

a. "God as my..." - Gloom

A short analysis:

This episode got little important, mainly shipping the couples(the line), and the final Holy Light. Why did the Light kill Gloom? Is this about us? Or did we call upon the Light?

7. S1E7 - Brennen's trial

Synopsis:

We were taken to the police station. One of the officers, Brennen, who was covered in bandages, approached us. He was kind to us and opened our handcuffs, saying that he was covered in bandages because he had been in a fire. Then he said the D.A. wants to see us later, his daughter's missing, he's in a bad mood, and we're accused of killing a federal agent and a federal marshal." We described the incident in detail, and Brennen was shocked that Hugo was the D.A., that his daughter was Erisa, and that we had killed his son Ricardo. Hugo started the fire in which his cat, Bootsy, died. Ricardo was a federal agent, he told us, and Grom was a federal marshal, also known as Ozymandias. We didn't cover for Gabriel, either, but Brennen doesn't believe an Australian can get into the Swiss Guard. Brennen, though, took pity on us, and he said he'd worked on human trafficking cases before, and when he found Hugo, he was called off by superiors. And then he decided to help us, but we had to see Hugo first. Brennen left.

Hugo started swearing as soon as he sat down, asking us where his daughter was, saying that it didn't matter that they were adopted. After scolding us for a while, he said, don't think he doesn't know what we are and what we can do. Then he threatened to kill us, swore and left. And Brennen managed to get in touch with Gabriel before Hugo could find us again, and he took us to the motel where Gabriel was staying.

At the Vatican, a masked killer priest gets word that Gabriel killed Ricardo. He said things like "Death to Satan," "Death to all," and fired machine guns into the air and laughed.

Clues:

a. "They call him Ozymandias." - Brennen mentioned Gloom

b. Hugo says he knows what we are, but we ourselves don't, and he knows how to use us and kill us. If we run away again, we'll be plunged into a cold hell.

A short analysis:

The main new character in this episode is Brennen, another of Hugo's victims who finally decides to help us. As for how he was able to contact Gabriel, I consider it as a minor plot flaw. He was burned by Hugo, and the name Brennen is also German for "burn." Fire seems to be a very important image, our lighter appears in almost every episode (later as well), and Valencia also mentions fire. But in all, it seems like a coincidence?

Ricardo and Gloom's identities are bit of exaggerated, but it doesn't affect the plot, so they're probably indeed dead. Ozymandias is an important image that actually refers to the Egyptian pharaoh Ramses II, known by the Greek name Ozymandias. Hugo has been using the words "bimbo" and "boy toy" to describe Gabriel, which is also funny to hear.

The words of the masked killer at the end and the information he received were in Italian, I can only figure out the general, hopefully not important information. So far, this is proof that Gabriel really belongs to the Church - he is about to be hunted down by the Church for disobedience. Or there is another possibility - Ricardo is an Italian name, is he connected to the Church? The Church is angry about his death? But that's very unlikely, and Riccardo is completely out of the picture, so he's probably indeed dead.

8. S1E8 - Psymon's treatment

Synopsis:

(This episode is one-hour long, and it's also very information-dense, so this part is going to be long.)

A new character appears in the opening credits, identified as Lucifuge Rofocale, from a book called Grand Grimoire, in which he is the Prime Minister of the great demon.

Brennen dropped us off at the motel and left, and Gabriel thanked him and turned to us and made a mean joke about how he looked like a mummy but the department was pretty inclusive. He started to get very close to us, and he called us Angel honey, in addition to calling us Angel. He said he thought he'd never see us again, but he survived by being a movie hero. He tried and failed to find us, and then Brennen got in touch. Gabriel was dressed as a priest, but with a gun. He explained that he was not a priest, that it was a cover. About the Swiss Guard - his mother was Swiss, he had served in the Swiss army, but he grew up mainly in Australia. Then he told us not to be angry, went inside, and wheeled out the missing Elisa, and it turned out that he had kidnapped Elisa.

As soon as Elisa sat down, she said we were demons, the exact opposite of Gabriel's angels. Gabriel, too, looked suspicious, and told himself that his boss was right, but immediately added that his task remained the same, that he would protect us. Then a phone call takes Gabriel away. Elisa took the opportunity to move closer and say that we were a demon, not an angel, that Hugo had always wanted demon blood, that we could trust her, that she was the federal informant and Ricardo wasn't, that she could contact the FBI and get us out, because Gabriel was insane and out of control, and why was he pretending to be a priest? And what would a priest do to a demon? Ricardo was bad, but he didn't deserve to die, and yet he died. Elisa said we can't trust Gabriel, not even the Swiss Guard thing since he's not even Swiss. About Ricardo and her and Valencia, Elisa said that Ricardo and she was adopted, her real name is Elisa, called Erisa because it sounds like Eris, the goddess of chaos. As for Valencia, she's dead. She's the one who called the cops to get us out of Doom and Gloom. And Brennen's cat Bootsy isn't a cat, it's his wife, and he has PTSD and thinks it's his cat. Anyway, Elisa really wants us to side with her, not trust Gabriel. But then Gabriel came back and said that the Vatican had excommunicated him and had sent men after him, but the good news is, he knows a shaman who can help us, and he knows about angels and demons. He left Elisa at the hotel and took us there.

Gabriel was waiting at the door, and we met Psymon alone. Psymon's name sounds like Simon and he says he's going to explain it to us, but we can't laugh or we're leaving with our boyfriend (shipping again). He said he changed his name from Simon to Psymon in the '90s. Then Psymon put the name thing on hold and told us first that we were not a demon but an angel. Then he dispensed a capsule of mercury to us, told us to take one immediately, and then went on to tell our story. He said that he had seen a real angel in Cape Town, and that he could hear a loud chorus, and that many people had seen them, and they had seen different things. His friend took a video, and it was a seraph, but it wasn't the same as what Psymon saw, either, so after that, Psymon went from pharmacist to shaman, believing in the supernatural. He said that when angels come to earth, they rarely remember their identity, only have beautiful qualities, and only know how to do good, but when demons come to earth, they remember their identity, know their purpose, and strive to do evil. Then he took out a notebook full of alchemical stuff, incantations, symbols and rituals, and mentioned that angels were made of mercury, sodium, and sulfur, and pointed to a symbol and said this is our symbol, the angel symbol. Then he made sodium and sulfur capsules, saying that mercury corresponds to our nerves, sodium to our blood, and sulfur to our bones. He says if we can remember who we are, we can go back to heaven. Finally, he gave us a capsule called the "Heaven’s Gate". If we or others took it, we or people who took it would immediately leave our bodies and ascend to heaven. He also told us that if we die on earth, we must obey the rules of mortals, and not necessarily go back to heaven, but possibly to hell. Finally, he wished us and Gabriel good luck.

Back at the motel, Gabriel discovers that Elisa has run away. He said Psymon had confirmed his belief that we were an angel and not a demon. Meanwhile, Gabriel says he is not an angel, but has come to do the mission of God. But at that moment, there were machine-gun shots outside the door, and Gabriel immediately realized that it was a masked killer sent by the Holy See and took us into hiding.

Clues:

a. " And it is- Father Gabriel, he has got a good ring to it huh? " - Gabriel

b. " I was in the military and my mother is Swiss, French-Swiss. They have national service there. " - Gabriel

c. " So my boss was right... the mission stands, I'm here to protect you. " - Gabriel

d. " He's insane." - Elisa mentions Gabriel

e. " Hugo owned all the orphanages. " - Elisa

f. " He calls me Erisa because it sounds like the god he worships, the god of chaos. " - Elisa

g. "Y You are the first one that's real. " - Elisa

h. " You should always look your best. You never know if today's your last. " - Gabriel

i. " You are not a demon. You are an angel. " - Psymon

j. "This angel, she descended onto the street." - Psymon

k. " When an angel dies, they come to earth... you have not descended from heaven with a chorus of angelic song. You are here because for whatever reason, in heaven, you died. " - Psymon

l. " When the angels come back to earth, they don't know what they were. But when the demon comes to earth, they remember. " - Psymon

m. " That means that if you die and you have done something questionable, or standing poor faith or judgment with the lord, you could go to hell. But it also means that anyone who you're associating with could go there too. " - Psymon

n. " I'm not an angel. But I am here to do the work of God." - Gabriel

A short analysis:

It's a long, information-dense episode. But Jim likes to play unreliable narration, and Gabriel and Elisa are at odds with each other, so can Psymon be trusted? Although at present I think Psymon's credibility is relatively large, he gives too much information, DS does not seem to be enough to carry such a large volume of unreliable narration, unless it is written as The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, but at present it seems that Psymon is not like it. And combined with Psymon's ending, he doesn't seem to be lying, at least he's giving the truth from his perspective. Or maybe, Psymon's not on our side, but he's probably giving us all the right information, or nothing wrong.

And first, Gabriel's appearance in this episode is my favourite appearance of Jim's character. Secondly, the editing of this episode is also very smooth and the production level is very high, but Jim's equipment was not quite up to date at that time, and the white balance is constantly changing. But the cons do not obscure the pros.

Now let's see the plots. I kind of feel like Gabriel's suddenly so close to us, but maybe it's just a sudden plot development. Does he really like us? Or is there a purpose to it (I'm shipping them anyway)? At least the first season is still very confusing (in the second season, Gabriel's character seems to have changed and become less complicated, but since it's not finished, I'm not sure about the second season). It's a pretty far-fetched explanation of the Swiss Guard, and if that's the case, then he'd have to be a Swiss citizen, but a guy who grew up in Australia, did his national service in Switzerland at 18, and then ended up in the Swiss Guard, which is kind of cool, and it sounds crazy but it can be done anyway.

Elisa came out and told us a big information that we were demons. At this point Gabriel's "So my boss is right" line is worth thinking about - who is his boss? The Pope? The Pope thinks we're demon, or Hugo's looking for demons, so why does Gabriel immediately identify us as angel? The mission remains the same, so what was the mission of the Pope before? Is it "protecting the demon"? Or is that Gabriel's way of saying he won't change and will still disobey the Holy See? The first season, if anything, left Gabriel's identity and purpose as a big mystery (again, Season 2 seems a little more prosaic, which is a pity). Then Gabriel gets on the phone, and Elisa gives us more information. According to the rest of the story, Elisa's claim that she was a federal informant is almost credible. And the resemblance between her name and Eris is a clue. The roles of Ricardo and Valencia are officially closed. Plus, Elisa doesn't believe Gabriel will actually help us, which is quite a contrast to Season 2 (which, of course, has a completely different storyline from Season 1, so it's hard to say). Gabriel's "never know if it's the last" is a little bit "If Psymon says you're a demon..." The detail is kind of interesting.

What Psymon says, which we assume to be true information, then becomes the principle of DS: On earth, angels do not know their identity, demons do. It is through this that Psymon confirms that we are angels, otherwise we would not have been killed this way. But again, is there a unreliable narration here? After all, the main character is the audience, and we can't talk. What if we actually remember who we are? Or remember a little? Let's just go with what Psymon said. Psymon mentioned that we died in heaven, so we lost our memories and came to earth, and if we die again, we may go to heaven or hell. That piece of heaven's gate also seems to be a foreshadowing, but so far, the main story doesn't mention it.

Finally at the motel, Gabriel says again that he is on a mission from God and that he is not an angel. So what is God's task? After all, he had disobeyed the Church, which had excommunicated him. Besides, is it possible that he was also an angel, one who had lost his previous memory? Being the only character to be named after an angel has denied it twice. But there is no other evidence for this either. And according to the following plot, Gabriel's number of murders is not small, not like Psymon said what an angel would be like.

In addition, there is a symbol in Psymon's notes that he says is our angel symbol - which, according to the search, is actually the symbol of Lucifer. It is well known that Lucifer was an archangel who fell into the form of Satan. So in this episode, we can pretty much confirm our angel-demon duality. Episode 8 is important.

9. S1E9 - Masked Killers and monsters

Synopsis:

Thanks to the ytb comments section, I saw something new at the beginning that I skipped - a few more symbols in the opening credits, the mercury symbol, the Demiurge (we'll talk about this later), and the Philosopher's Stone (Psymon mentions it).

The first half of the show is us hiding in a closet with Gabriel. The plots are shipping they two too still. And Gabriel says our hair smells good, needs to borrow our conditioner, goes on and on about how scary this masked killer is. The masked killer came in and said Gabriel's name, that he had betrayed the church, that he had betrayed him, that he would find him and kill him. In the middle of the tension, Gabriel gave us a kiss, didn't feel comfortable for a moment, and then started apologizing. Finally, the killer leaves without finding anyone, and Gabriel and we get out of the locker. He said nervously that it was a machine gun, fortunately the killer left. And then he asked us to forgive the inappropriate kiss. That's when a woman, claiming to be the FBI, pulled a gun on Gabriel and took us both away.

In the second half of the episode, we come to Venice Beach. The place is called Venice California, and a man with sunglasses paces irritably in a mansion, saying something about dino or dinner and cursing. He received a phone call from Hugo, and scolded Hugo, saying that he would go over to Hugo to solve the problem of the demon, and bring the demon to him. Then he ordered his men to prepare the plane and brought two men on board. There's a voice in the background, which could also be pagan or criminal human trafficking, which makes him seem to be Hugo's superior.

The camera then cuts to Psymon's lab, where a cold-eyed man is reading Psymon's notes and becomes intrigued when he sees the Lucifer symbol. Psymon's voice drifted off and said it’s you Sam, that if he'd known it was him, he wouldn't... But without letting him finish, Sam shot him. Sam said he was looking for the love of his life.

Clues:

a. "You betrayed the church, you betrayed me." - the masked killer

b. "If I'd known it was you, I wouldn't..." - Psymon

c. "I'm looking for the love of my life." - Sam

A short analysis:

This episode of Gabriel's scene is not too much, mainly on the road to shipping them two further. Hugo's sunglasses boss calls himself "Hermon," but I'm not sure if that's the name, consider it as it is. What he said was so vague that I couldn't make out what it was, whether it was dino or dinner, whatever it was, we didn't know what it meant. And Sam and Psymon seem to have known each other before, and Psymon seems to be trying to say something, but he's killed before he finished. Sam is officially introduced here, a mysterious character who has appeared in only two episodes of DS. If the "love of his life" is us, then who is he? Who are we? Why does Psymon know him? What is Psymon regretting now? Jim's cat comes out at the end, but I think Jim was just loving his cat here, so I won't mention it about the plots.

As for the name "Hermon," I'm not sure I heard it right. There is a mountain called Mount Hermon on the border between Syria and Lebanon. In some myths, the palace of Baal was located here. In other texts (the Book of Enoch), fallen angels descend on Mount Hermon.

10. S1E10 - Tikvah and recruiting informants

Synopsis:

The female FBI agent with the name tag Naomi Tikvah uncuffed us. Tikva, Hebrew for "hope." She said we weren't in trouble, we didn't kill anyone, we were victims of a criminal organization that trafficked people. Gloom died of an aneurysm. He said Gabriel killed a lot of people, that he was unhinged. And even more so with the man in the mask, a war criminal. She pointed out that what Gabriel seemed to be saying was true, that he did work for the Vatican, that we had become somewhat close to Gabriel, that Elisa was an FBI informant, and that Hermon's name was William, and that he and Hugo were using their power to run a criminal business. And now that Elisa is in Hugo's control again, Tikvah wants us to help her and Elisa in exchange for Gabriel's reduced sentence, which is fine if we stay out of it, but Gabriel will go to jail. She hopes we can help, get to Hugo, save lives. When we said yes, she gave us a microphone and told us to say the password "Ozymandias" (yes, the same as Gloom's nickname) if things got out of hand.

Clues:

a. "The code word is Ozymandias." - Tikvah.

A short analysis:

This issue is not very informative, but with a few puzzles, one of which is the cause of Gloom's death. We saw the light with our own eyes. But Tikvah said he died of an aneurysm; The other is the code. Why Ozymandias, too? Because Gloom is a federal marshal? And from her we learn that the Hugo’s business was a cult and crime syndicate, and next time we face Hugo again in order to save Elisa and Gabriel.

11. Gunfight in Hell

Synopsis:

The opening of the episode is a big difference from previous episodes, using a similar format with a cast list, with each character appearing, but the arrangement is a little strange. The characters are Bill (William), Doom, the masked killer priest, Sam, Valencia, Hugo, Elisa, and Ricardo. Can't find any pattern, not based on life or death or appearance in this episode, I don't know if it's intentional or not.

Tikvah checked with us at mic that the signal was clear, and we went inside, where we were met by a sad Doom at the door, who saw that we were angry, but received orders to let us in anyway.

Hugo was even more angry when he saw us, saying that his life had been a mess since he met me, and how we could cause him so much trouble. At this point, Tikvah prompts us to come in another man, it is Bill, still swearing, and asks Hugo who Elisa and we are, Hugo says Elisa is his daughter and we are the demon, Bill is very angry, and says why Hugo pointed a gun at his daughter, and the demon is already here, so why bring him here, he ate a whole person on the plane (depending on the tone, Maybe they actually ate them). At this point, Tikvah again suggested that there was a person at the door who seemed to pop out from nowhere. It was Sam. He came in and said we were the love of his life and didn't belong to anyone. Bill started teasing again about how it was like a restaurant. And to make matters worse, the masked killer showed up. All hell broke loose. Sam started shooting. Tikvah asked us what was going on, and if necessary, gave out the code. Hugo and Bill hide behind the couch, Elisa goes down, and Sam shoots Doom. The man in the mask shot Sam in the cheek. Bill and Hugo are scared, and Bill keeps cursing and telling Hugo to shoot the man in the mask. Hugo, as if afraid to shoot, shoots the masked man, the masked man shoots back but doesn't seem to hit anyone, and Hugo shoots again, knocking the masked man down. Sam got up again and began to say a strange spell. Bill shoots Sam, the picture shakes, Bill falls, and we are plunged into darkness. Tikvah called off the operation.

In the darkness, a mysterious voice said it was coming to clean things up. Several characters appear separately. First Bill says something nice, then dino/dinner and repeats it, then Hugo says something about us being his children and loving us; Then there was Sam, who still called us lovers, and asked us if we wanted apples, if we wanted them cut; And finally, Elisa, she said she just wanted to be loved, and she thought she'd get it with us.

The camera goes to hell, and there's Baal the demon. He gave us a good lecture, told us we screwed up, and we thought we were angels. Big D is disappointed in our father, and he is disappointed in Hermon (not sure here), Sam is perhaps the most like Lord, and Eris is not here. And we are the devil traitor. He also confiscated our lighters.

Clues:

A. "A demon who has been sowing the seeds of chaos around town." - Hugo mentions us.

b. "Neo-Nazi prick"- Bill mentions Sam

c. "Minimal blood, a living body... Long live Satan. (Sanguis minimus. Corpus animus... Satani.Ave.)" – Part of Sam’s spell. Originally Latin, can only figure out part of it. Imcomplete.

A short analysis:

This episode is more or less informative. There's not much new. The first question is, what is the masked man doing here? Shouldn't he be looking for Gabriel at the FBI? Or does he think we're easier to find? But it seems like he's not just trying to kill us, which means he's really crazy. And then there's Sam's incantation, which is actually a black mass, but it's a celebration of the devil. Next thing, I don’t know if it was because Bill killed Sam, or because of the black mass, we went into a dark place with Bill. Four characters appear in turn, which I understand as a kind of spiritual communication in limbo. In hell, Baal's words are worth investigating, it seems that Bill, Sam, and Elisa are all related to hell. I didn't quite catch that part either. It was a bit of a trouble. It's like we're a demon who've forgotten who we are. The first season came to an abrupt end.

12. A brief description of the Season 1 Recap video

At the end of 2021, Jim released a recap video of the first season of the DS, briefly introducing the contents of the first season and preparing for the second season. There's something interesting about Jim's wording here.

In the first place, speaking of Valencia and Elisa, it is said that they both showed sympathy for us, perhaps because they felt sympathy for the fate we were about to face.

Second, the phrase "spurious tales" is used to describe Gabriel's claim that he worked for the Church.

Third, that Glom was killed by holy light, not an aneurysm.

Fourth, that Psymon healed our wounds by feeding us mercury. (Because the original plot says mercury corresponds to nerves, it seems that there is just a bit of a difference in the setting here. But well, tt's not a short time since Jim has a chaotic memory or remembers the plots but doesn't care about corresponding them.)

Fifth, Jim himself summed up Psymon's words as - demons do not tend to live on earth, but angels who die in heaven will be reborn on earth and start a new life, because they are on earth, so if they are guilty, they may also go to hell.

Sixth, and more importantly, Jim called us "Astarte." We'll talk more about that later.

Two. Season 1 story summary, clue collection and brief analysis

Only three episodes have been updated for the second season, reportedly cutting the original six episodes to four. I don't know how Jim is going to wrap up so much threads of clues in the next finale episode... The overall style of the second season is also completely different from the first season.

1. S2E1 - The Hellhound

Synopsis:

The opening credits of the second season are great, and the music is great. Notably, the opening credits feature a woman wearing a star crown, which will be mentioned later.

Malcomb House, Los Angeles, December 22, 12:32 p.m., we, as a rookie constable, followed Detective Charles Holmes to investigate a homicide in which the victim was Dr. Malcomb, and we are now at his home questioning Mrs. Malcomb. The detective had an arm in a cast, which was a little inconvenient to record, and we were new, so we had to record. The detective and Mrs. Malcomb went over some of the details of the case.

That day, Mrs. Malcomb is taking the kids to school, and Dr. Malcomb is doing his daily routine before going to work. He has a memory problem. He remembers the big things, but forgets the little things easily, so there are stickers all over the house. The doctor showered that morning, brushed his teeth, made sandwiches, then took his medicine, blood anticoagulants, drank coffee, read the newspaper, and about to feed the dog. When he was about to feed the dog, the attacker burst in, shot him, and let the dog go.

The detective finished his review and asked Mrs. Malcomb if anyone would have thought to let the dog go. It is also mentioned that the FBI may be involved because this case is similar to another random killing spree they have on hand (same person, different locations, close timing). But if she wanted to contact him, she can contact him still and give her his card. Finally he wished the wife a merry Christmas.

The camera came to the car, we were driving, the detective sat in the passenger seat, took the child's toy gun/lighter to lit a cigarette, joked about why he loved to say merry Christmas inappropriately, and then began to analyse the case with us. He first said the woman was lying. And then he asked us if we noticed that dog cage, big and gorgeous. This case is about a kid doctor with a perfect family, and all of a sudden a maniac kills him, and then the dog is let go. Very strange. And there was no sign of forced entry at the house, similar to a recent case. The detective figured the FBI would take over, but he wanted to find out for himself. Finally, he asked us if we remembered D.A. Hoffman's disappearance many years ago. Then there was a crash, and in the darkness we heard a strange sound. End of episode one.

Clues:

a. "What you mean about the victim's wife? Yeah, she's lying." - Holmes

b. "Did you see the dog cage?" - Holmes

c. "Do you remember the disappearance of D.A. Hoffman?" - Holmes

A short analysis:

Looking at this episode alone, except for the last sentence, there is really no connection to the first season. Malcomb's memory problems, I don't really know if they're important, and why would Mrs. Malcomb lie? Where did she lie? I don't know. And the episode is about the dog. Malcomb's death was probably all about releasing the dog. So, what kind of dog is it? The title says Hellhound. What about the specifics? What's the role? Unknown. The episode also buried two clues: the recent killing spree, and the absence of a forced entry.

2. S2E2 - The Bwytawrdrwg

Synopsis:

The title of this episode is in Welsh, and it's actually two words without a space between. At that time, I estimated that many people were confused by the title, and this episode did a narrating all the way, resulting in a very poor amount of views, which directly led to the hiatus of DS. See below for a detailed explanation of this title.

The episode begins in a hospital, where a doctor is banging on about how our pupils don't respond, our brain looking good in MRI, and how we somehow look dead. There was nothing they could do but let nature take its course.

Southern California Hospital On December 22, at 6:45 p.m., the story officially began. The detective was stopped by the doctor for smoking, and he wished the doctor a Merry Christmas and turned to us. The detective said the accident wasn't our fault. The important thing is we're okay. During the afternoon, he looked into some more clues. He told us about a man named Richard Hart, who appeared to be a big charity man, but was actually a Nazi, a big war criminal, whose real name was Carl Reinhardt. This guy's been dead for 20 or 30 years, but just recently, someone dug up his body, burned the remains, and one of the things they dug up at the excavation site was Dr. Malcomb's. So the killer got from Malcomb's house to the cemetery within 12 hours of doing all of this. And in the exhumation scene, there was a priest, and he was the one who dug up the body. While having a priest in the cemetery is no big deal, the detective also mentioned that Malcomb's house was secured, but the killer didn't force his way in, so there was no sign of it. In addition to family members, salespeople, and public servants such as the police, the most likely to open the door, is the priest. So what we're looking for here is a murderer priest.

Then, the detective mentioned that D.A. Hoffman went missing all those years ago. It was an FBI operation, Hoffman engaged in criminal activity, the detective was a junior officer at the time, and an old colleague of his, Brennan, was involved. The prosecutor's daughter was involved, and his son was killed by a priest. Hoffman, his daughter, a murderous psychopath from nowhere, a masked maniac, and a Hollywood producer all disappeared, leaving the scene in chaos. There were a lot of bodies, one of them a priest, wearing a mask. The Vatican then covered it up with the FBI, and the female agent in charge of the operation was relegated to clerical work.

The detective said that he thought there was a connection between the current case and the Hoffman case, and that he planned to find Brennan, who had left the service, and that he knew the priest. Finally, he said there was something strange about the recording at Malcomb's house, and he played it back for us, and it was the voice we heard at the end of the first episode. We're having trouble staying awake. We're unconscious again. In the darkness we saw a figure that seemed to be a vicious hound.

At the end of the second episode, Gabriel is praying, and his voice is extremely vague, and I only managed to record part of it by asking questions in the YTB comments section. Anyway, it was Gabriel praying to Erisa saying he can't do this anymore, help him, she knows why he's here. A woman who appears to be Erisa says someone is approaching and someone is dead. Gabriel didn't understand, Erisa went on, please don't leave them, "he" was satisfied. Finally, Erisa said, Gabriel, someone is watching you. The scene ends immediately.

Finally, at the end, a book was opened, in which a number of names were recorded, some of which were crossed out, and the rest of which were written, respectively, Moloch (the evil god associated with fire and human sacrifice for Baal, and the literary image of war mania), death (the important religious concept, gave birth to the hell-hound with Sin in Paradise Lost), Abdiades (mentioned in the Book of Chronicles, with a literary representation of an fallen angel), Dragol (seems to be spelled that way, but no reference is found), and Methuselah (an extremely long-lived person mentioned in the Bible). One hand scratched out Moloch's name with a pen. End of episode two.

Clues:

a. "Someone dug up the corpse of this Nazi and burned the remains." - Holmes

b. "What about priests? You trust them, right?" - Holmes on no sign of break-in.

c. If we are right, then the missing persons in the "Hoffman case" mentioned by Holmes are Hoffman, Elisa, Sam, Doom, and Bill, in that order, and the dead priest is the masked man.

d. "Brennan, he knew the priest." - Holmes

e. The whole conversation between Gabriel and Erisa is obviously important, but I couldn't figure it out completely, but it's what it says in the synopsis.

A short analysis:

The initial views number of this episode was very poor. It was also after this episode that Jim began to procrastinate DS, dragging out the third episode after a year and a half. But it's a very informative episode, and it's starting to connect to the first season. A lot of clues really can only wait for Jim to explain, even if I analyse again and again, such as this Carl Reinhart in the end and what is the identity? I don't know. The only war criminal mentioned in the first season was the masked man, but first, if he was a Nazi, he "must be a hundred years old" (so said Gabriel), and Reinhart has been dead for decades, and the man in the mask died at the Hoffman murder scene. But then again, there is no clear time between the second season and the first season, maybe it has really passed 20 or 30 years?

A bunch of characters disappeared for unknown reasons. Sam's Black Mass? Besides, why is the masked guy the only one who hasn't disappeared? Because he's a priest?

In addition, the detective speaks about the Masked man as if he and Gabriel are the same person (because the masked man and Gabriel are both dressed as priests, and the detective refers to them as "priests"), but they have been in one picture together before S1E9, and from the point of view of Season 1 as a whole, this is not possible.

That strange sound and the image of the hound were obviously important too, but there was no clue as to what they were.

How did Gabriel and Elisa end up together again? Didn't they fight each other before? It's weird what happened between them. They seem to be asking each other, Gabriel asking Elisa for help, Elisa asking Gabriel not to give up on them. Besides, who is this "he" that Elisa is talking about? And who was that looking at Gabriel?

That last list seems to have a lot to do with the Bible and Paradise Lost. At this point, the religious concept of DS has become more and more extensive, from the gods of primitive religions to the religious culture of modern times. The religious element is mostly over in this episode, and the next one is just as confusing and exciting.

3. S2E3 - Vatican City Karaoke Night

Synopsis:

Adelaide, Australia, a few years ago. This time we were a bartender, looking at a gaunt priest with long hair and a beard standing on the stage, trying to sing but unable to sing, being booed off the stage for the second time. He came to us, and asked for cigarettes and wine. We gave it to him, and he asked if we'd met before, and immediately explained that he wasn't hitting on us, that he was a priest. Besides, his heart already belonged to another, and it's not God. It's just that we remind him of someone a long time ago who was a lot like us. He said his name was Gabriel, but first, we weren't allowed to call him "Father," which sounded too old, and second, he was adamant that we weren't allowed to call him "Gabe," only Gabriel. He asked again if we had met and said we were just like the person. The person has been gone a long time, and he was very close to the person, but the person is not dead, only missing. Gabriel asked if we'd ever seen a person disappear into nowhere, and then he again asked for a drink. He said something about tithes, and then about how he had worked in the Vatican for a long time, and how the Swiss Guard had karaoke nights – sing Hail Mary before a mission. Then he said that even if he was drinking now and wanted to throw up, he always felt that we had met him before, and he had met that person in the United States when he was on a mission. So he's here to sing and drink because he's here to work. Then he went to the loo. Meanwhile, the hound vision that appeared in the first two episodes flashes again.

When Gabriel came back, he asked us for more cigarettes and started talking. He said he had met the Pope once, another Pope, smoking a cigar, in the Vatican (Vat, or VC). He gave a terrible example, he said that when he met the person, it was like having a pet, he didn't care before, but as soon as he saw the person, he felt unconditional love in his heart, unconditional to be able to kill. So he defied the Vatican's confidential orders and went to protect that person. He was always there to protect that person, but in the end, he wasn't there when that person needed him most, and he failed. And when a man loses something, he has to go to the last place to find it, and that's what he came for, to the last place, to find his angel. He said he was an invisible priest on a mission and knew that the angel was alive and that he would find the angel and that he would never give up.

Later, Gabriel mentions Psymon's rule from Season 1 - angels don't know who they are on earth, and demons do. It was up to mortals like him to help the angels. And Gabriel sounded like an angel, but it hasn’t any relation, and then he asked us what our names were, and when he got the answer, he said, "Funny then. Coincidence.”

Finally, he decided to go on stage for the third time, and before that, he asked us if we were sure we hadn't met before. On stage, Gabriel sang a Hail Mary, and all of a sudden he pulled out a gun and shot us. Before the scene turned completely black, we heard Gabriel say, "I found you/I'll find you, Angel, I found you/I'll find you." (24. 9. 24 edit: it was "I found you".) The third episode ends. DS updated to this, once again entered the indefinite hiatus, has been a year.

Clues:

(There really isn't much to dig into this episdoe... Because it's basically a recap of Gabriel's experiences from Season 1, and then a follow-up to shipping Gabriel and Angel. A few notes briefly below.)

a. "I'm not coming on you. I'm a fxcking priest. Besides, my heart belongs to another. No, not God." - Gabriel

b. "Not Gabe, don't call me that. Gabriel." - Gabriel.

c. "VC, some call it." - Gabriel

d. "Go to the last place. That's where I need to be. That's where my Angel is." - Gabriel

e. "It’s up to us mortals to shine a light on that grace, and let them know what they are." - Gabriel mentions angels don’t know who they are

f. "Gabriel, yeah like the angel, no relation. What’s your name? Really? Funny then. Coincidence." - Gabriel

d. "Oh I'll ask one more time just in case- are you sure that we haven't met before? Alright, if you say so, if you say so." - Gabriel

A short analysis:

I still remember the mood and the scene I was in when the trailer and video came out... Now the ending is so far away, it's excruciating...

As we can see, this episode is Gabriel's solo, and it's mainly about what happened between season 1 and season 2, and the new plot is the shot that was fired at the end. People who don't like Gabriel are definitely not interested in this episode, and fortunately or unfortunately, I'm a huge fan of Gabriel. So waiting for the sequel is also very anxious.

In this episode, Gabriel's lines are all about finding someone until he finally says "my Angel", and the lines are great. Clue a and b seems to imply that Angel is the person, and only she can call herself "Gabe" Anyway, Angel is missing, and Gabriel is desperate to find her.

If there's anything in this episode - first of all, Vatican City is a VC, just like Venice, California, so let's hope Gabriel doesn't have anything to do with Bill. That would be crazy. Second, does Angel have a name? From the line "coincidence" we can see that the Angel seems to have a real name and told Gabriel, she or the bartendeer can't be called just "Angel" right?

The main problem in this episode is one line - is the last line "I found you" or "I'll find you"? I have asked several native English speakers about this word and they are not sure what it is (the moderator too but till now she hasn’t replied) (24. 9. 24 edit: Em replied that it was I found you.). But the line is uncertain, and Gabriel's motive for shooting the bartender is uncertain. If it's the former, then the "Have we met before" and the "coincidence" lines all make sense, but the shooting doesn't make sense, because Gabriel is looking for Angel, and if the person in front of him is Angel or an resurrection or something, and it's so hard to find, why shoot her? If it is the latter, then the reason for shooting could be some unknown preparation to find Angel or something, maybe we are demons (after all, there is the hound in the middle of the video), but the lines at the front thinking we are familiar do not make sense. All in all, the plot is tantalizing.

With that, the synopsis and brief analysis of the first and second seasons concludes.

Three. Try to collection the theological background

Next is the most difficult part, and very awkward – one of Jim’s mods Em majored in theology. Here I am to write these, maybe it will be what they learn. For those they didn’t, they can directly ask Jim himself, the final explanation.

There were no Jstor papers or whatnot for reference, and I didn't have a university network, just wiki. So the following are basically wikis.

I really don't know where to start.

1. The Malenkee Saga, The Origin of all Things

You can't talk about Jim's creation without mentioning the TMS mentioned above. Of course, TMS does not have an official Chinese translation name, it is simply TMS. It was Jim's first long series, running for a staggering 23 episodes, and the only finished long series. The theological and pagan ideas it has are likely to have been carried over to DS, after all, the first season of DS was released immediately after TMS.

In TMS, the protagonist Malenkee experiences a series of dangerous events (actually, these events are the main story, but we're talking about paganism and theology here), gradually awakening to various abilities, including time travel, and finally discovering that she is Astarte, so she confronts demons and saves two people who saved her in the past. During her time travel, she met a man named Aleister Crowley. This person is historically real and is one of the purposes of my mention of TMS. This man lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and founded a pagan religion called Thelema. This concept is probably important. First, because Thelema is actually similar to Gnosticism. Gnosticism is very complex, I understand it as an unorthodox dualism, and a lot of mysticism is affected by Gnosticism; Second - because Jim had the Thelema logo tattooed on his arm... (Right arm bend, left arm bend is the star of the octagon, Sumerian "heaven" "god/goddess", also used as a symbol of the goddess Inanna. And this Inana is basically equal to Ishtar, which is equal to Astarte.)

2. The trailer picture for the season 2

Jim posted a trailer picture for Season 2 on both Patreon and Ytb, featuring a framed photo of Hugo and Elisa together.

Clues include: Jupiter's mark; The ancient Greek word for hope; Two codes, translated as "No Revelations" and "No Salvation"; Two Bible passages, "The Beast of the Sea" and "the whore of the Beast"; The apple of chaos; "Demiurge"; Father Gabriel's reflection in the framed glass.

OK… So let's start with these clues. Then look at the elements in the film.

a. Mark of Jupiter: Speaking of Jupiter, the first thing that comes to mind is that "Jupiter represents Zeus", but the impression is that the DS series is not much related to Greek mythology, most of it is upstream Greek mythology, such as Canaanite mythology such as the older, and downstream such as Christianity (and Satan) such. Where have we seen similar symbols in two seasons? S1E8, in Simon's notes. He supplied us with mercury, sodium, and sulfur. mercury is not compatible with Jupiter or tin (if you must say, Mercury is Jupiter's son?) . And Astarte? Astarte's representative planet is Venus, representing the god Aphrodite/Venus (Astarte developed into Greek mythology as Venus), representing the metal is copper, and it does not match.

Later sections on Astaroth and Baal also mention Jupiter. See below.

b. Ancient Greek "Hope" : In the feature film, only Naomi's surname is "Tikvah/Hope"; in Greek, hope is "Elpis", which is also the name of hope in Greek mythology, and "Spes" in Roman mythology. The last thing left in Pandora's box was hope.

c&d. No Revelations. No Salvation: Revelation is a book in the Bible, the book of Revelation. Salvation is not, and the only thing I can find about no salvation is the phrase "Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus," which translates to "there is no salvation outside the church," and the biblical phrase "there is no salvation except him." These two lines are written under Elisa and Hugo. I'll talk about Elisa later. What does Hugo have to do with the phrase "no redemption"? Or is the placement of these two lines just a coincidence? In the feature film, the only thing I can think of "outside the church" is Gabriel's excommunication.

e&f. "Beast of the Sea" and "Beast's Whore" : The original text is two pairs of numbers, and it is easy to see that this is a format for recording Bible passages, but which book? There's only one revelation in this whole picture. So you see the corresponding sections of Revelation, the original text respectively (excerpted from the combined text) (translated from Chinese so it can be different from KJV) :

"When they have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up out of the bottomless pit will make war against them and overcome them and kill them."

"The woman you saw is the great city that rules over the Kings of the earth."

Revelation is the last book of the Bible. It talks about the end of the world, the rebirth and the battle between heaven and hell. The original text of Jim is 11:7 and 17:18, but the original text of 11:7 is "the beast of the bottomless pit." "Beasts of the Sea" comes from 13:1-10. But there is a view that these two beasts are one, both "antichrists," who receive their power from the "dragon," Satan. At the same time, the beast in 17:18 also came out of the bottomless pit, and can generally be regarded as the same beast in 11:7.

The term "whore of the beast" refers to the "whore of Babylon" in 17:18, as explained below.

g. Chaotic Apple: The story is well known - a golden apple sparked a dispute between Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite that eventually led to the Trojan War. And this apple was left by Eris, the goddess of chaos. The original image shows Hugo wearing a necklace of golden apples, indicating his worship of the God of chaos.

h. Demiurge: The word "demiurge" has been mentioned before, and it appears in different philosophical schools, but here we look at the Gnostic Demiurge. Why? Because the image of the Demiurge that emerges from the opening of S1E9 is a Gnostic art. In Gnosticism, the physical world is created by the Demiurge and the spiritual world is created by God. The Demiurge was seen as inferior and malevolent.

In some Gnostic texts, the Demiurge is called "Yaldabaoth", meaning "son of chaos". It also has a name, Samael - a name that reminds me of Sam. Combined with Sam's mystery and his black Mass, he could really be the embodiment of some kind of evil power.

Besides, could the Big D that Baal was talking about be the Demiurge? Quite possibly. But in that case, would Sam be such a high-level figure? He's good and mysterious, yes, but Sam's in charge of Baal? Doubt it.

But in fact, the logo in the original image is a Chi-ro symbol, representing Christ.

The Demiurge concept is so complicated, it makes me dizzy. Sort these out first. I feel that if I want to study the A Dream of Red Mansions, I must be in Figurist school...

i. Gabriel's reflection: This is nothing important, presumably indicating that Gabriel is also looking for Hugo and Elisa, and that he is important in Season 2, after all, he also appeared in the season 2 opening credits (Gabriel is in the DS, I think is definitely the male lead right...). .

Gabriel in the reflection is very young still.

3. Season 2's Opening Women & Babylon Whores (and Dino speculation)

The second season opens with a woman wearing a crown of twelve stars, a woman also seen in Revelation, who is described as being clothed in the sun, under the moon, and wearing a crown of twelve stars, and being attacked by dragons who want to eat her soon-to-be-born child. It is widely believed that this woman refers to the Virgin Mary (the child is, of course, Jesus). So is there an image of the Virgin in the feature film? The only surviving female in the feature film is Elisa, and we can basically identify as female (although Jim has been using neutral words to refer to us, after all, the audience has all genders, but according to my observation, in Jim's only two big series (The Malenkee Saga and DS), the main character is still more regarded as female). And which of these two characters can match Maria? Honestly, I don't really see it. It's possible that Jim just added this image to enrich the picture, or it could have a different purpose.

The Babylonian prostitute mentioned above needs to be supplemented. She is "Mystery, Babylon the Great, the Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth", It is the symbol of "the great city which reigneth over the kings of the earth". One of the things about this woman in the book of Revelation has something to do with the film, "And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus". It corresponds to S1E4's blood-taking scene, although I'm not sure if that scene was some other pagan ritual. With more vivid thiking: Bill had called Elisa "whore." I don't know if that's a hint.

Crowley appeared in TMS founded Thelema, she is called Babalon, is marked by the Holy Grail (and the blood in it), and the mate is Chaos. A Mass in Thelema refers to "faith in Chaos, the father of our life, created by fire," "Faith in Babalon, the mother of all," and "faith in the serpent and the lion of Baphomet" (in fact, the serpent and the lion are also figures of the Demiurge, and the Baphomet is traditionally the head of a goat).

About Babalon and Thelema - Thelema has sex magic associated with her, and in the synopsis, Bill repeats "dino" or "dinner," according to a hearsay (hearsay because I heard it from another subscriber in early 2021), someone asked Jim about this but got no answer; Another hearsay said that the dino was a ritual food associated with sex magic. Well, that fits Bill's profile, and it has to do with Thelema, and it fits the tone of the story. As for whether it's true or not, I can't be sure. I've been looking for a long time but I can't find anything about "dino". Maybe it is just a random name Jim gave.

To add to some Crowley's interpretation of sex magic - according to Kenneth Grant, the mixture of female bodily fluids and semen produced during sex with a scarlet woman or Babalon is known as the elixir of life. Another form of this Elixir is the Elixir Rubeus (abbreviated by Crowley in his magical diary as El.Rub.) composed of menstrual blood and semen, known as effluvium of Babalon, the Scarlet Woman, which is the menstruum of the lunar current.

I'm often not creepy enough to fit in you magical guys.

4. Astarte and Lucifer

I've already mentioned it, so here's a quick summary - Astarte = Ishtar = Inanna = Venus the Planet = Venus = Aphrodite.

Interestingly, Lucifer also means "morning star" or "Venus". Lucifer is relatively widely believed to be the fallen angel Satan, combined with the "angel-demon duality" of the main character mentioned above, can we say that we are a character with Astarte, or Lucifer's characteristics? Or is it one or the other, or a combination of the two?

In the Sumerian myth Inanna's Descent to the Underworld, Inanna was able to descend to the underworld and return to heaven.

(The above is written on the third night, and here is written from the fourth day, did not sleep well in the morning, dreamed of a good theory about Sam and the Demiurge, and forgot after waking up...)

5. Astaroth

Although this guy only appeared in TMS, but talking about DS still have to talk about him...

As mentioned earlier, his name is derived from Astarte, but he is not a naturally occurring figure of evil in history, but was created by medieval demonology. In demonology, he may rank alongside Beelzebub and Lucifer as the first Grand Duke of Hell, and possibly as "one of the sixteen Princes of Hell", among other versions. He is powerful and "appears in the form of an evil angel, riding on a hell dragon and holding a serpent in his left hand". In some demonology schools, he rules over the evil forces of Jupiter (" Some demonology schools, "meaning" Kabbalistic texts, "I see at least two sources that say" in the Kabbalistic texts, Astaroth rules over the adverse forces of Jupiter, "but the Kabbalistic texts, I didn't go into what that was. Isn't Kabbalah Jewish philosophy? But it's not the first time demonology has been developed from the philosophy of religion.)

Here's an excerpt from a Tumblr post explaining it:

"What is a qliphoth? Well… In the Kabbalistic cosmogony, between our human world/mortal existence and God the eternal and almighty, there are several… “steps/passages/points”. Key points, metaphysical doors and thresholds, powerful cosmic crossroads – each one associated with a given planet of the Solar system. Together, they form the “Tree of Life”, the structure that ties together the universe. Each of these points has a positive and negative side: the positive side is the Sefirot, a holy manifestation of an aspect of the world as prepared, planned and desired by God, as well as of a major virtue. We are talking kindness, wisdom, discipline, glory, victory, etc… The negative side is the Qliphoth, an impure spiritual realm, a manifestation of an aspect of evil, the polar opposite of the Sefirot. Each sefira has its angel, and each qlipha its demon. Astaroth is usually considered the archdemon ruler of the Gamchicoth, the demons of the qlipha of Jupiter: this qlipha opposes “chesed”, the sephirot of righteousness and mercy manifesting the unlimited benevolence and kindness of god. As a result, Astaroth can be considered to be the demon manifesting the inverse of kindness, or the opposite of love between people, an entity of hate and hostility that destroys all mercy."

Let’s say thank you to this online theologist.

6. Baal

The word "Baal" originally meant "Lord" and was later denounced as a false god in Christianity and Islam. The name Beelzebub, the king of Flies, can be split into Beel/Baal and Zebub/Flies. In demonology, Baal has the image of a human head, a cat's head, and a toad's head, which is probably the source of the cat ears worn in Jim's two Baal videos.

There are different myths about Baal's spouse, but one is that he was married to Astarte. Another theory is that Baal's spouse was his sister Anat, although there are similarities between Anat and Astarte.

Baal also practiced invisibility in The Lesser Key of Solomon, mentioned below. Reminds me of Sam who "came out of nowhere" (Naomi) "I'm looking for the love of my life"... But this book says that Astaroth can also make you invisible...

7. The Lesser Key of Solomon

This is a very famous witchcraft book, which contains a list of seventy-two demons, the first being King Baal, and the twenty-ninth being Duke Astaroth.

8. The Grand Grimoire

The new opening image mentioned above at S1E9 is from the" Grand Grimoire ". Much of the material in this book comes from The Lesser Key of Solomon. The first part contains summon demons and let them to obey, the second part contains signing a contract with demon. There are also some soul talk, to be loved by girls, winning the lottery and spells to make yourself invisible. (Why does it feel like Sam's identity adds another layer of possibility, that he might not be a great demon, just a practitioner of the dark arts? who really likes the protagonist or the angel/demon that the protagonist represents?) The book also mentioned the three big demons, Emperor Lucifer, Prince Beelzebub, and Archduke Astaroth. Baal is listed under Astaroth.

9. Gabriel

(Ah, definitely my favourite character...)

Gabriel in the canon Christianity is undoubtedly a very positive image, first of all, the name means "man of God", and as the angel of the Annunciation, he is also the angel who reports to Mary about the conception of the Holy Spirit, the overall image is not so full of strength as in the DS. In the Book of Enoch (a non-canonical text) mentioned above, Gabriel is depicted as "in charge of all power." In short, Gabriel is a very benevolent and positive figure in the Abrahamic Canon and related Gnosticism (occasionally fights in the Book of Revelation, though not mentioned by name, but he is definitely present. It is Armageddon, no one can sleep in...).

In addition, Gabriel is the guardian angel of messengers, radio and telecommunications workers such as radio and television, postal workers, clergy, diplomats, and stamp collectors (in this way, Gabriel is somewhat similar to Mercury).

I tried looking for Gabriel in demonology, etc., but no, he's basically a messenger angel and a powerful protective angel.

10. Cold Hell and Dante's Divine Comedy

Hugo had previously mentioned a cold hell in the DS, and this was mentioned in Dante's Divine Comedy - the last layer of hell is cold and dark.

11. The title of Paradise Lost and DS2

Not Paradise Lost by Junichi Watanabe.

Some of the scenes in the DS bear some resemblance to Milton's Paradise Lost. Like fallen angels. The season 2 episodes are titled "The Hellhound" and "The Bwytawrdrwg", meaning "Hellhound" and "Evil Eater/Sin Eater" respectively. The title of the second episode is spelled Bwytawr drwg and translated as "Bad eater" or "Sin eater". The sin-eater appears to have originated in Welsh culture and refers to a person who eats a ritual meal at a funeral to take the sins of the deceased. Or - in Paradise Lost, death and sin give birth to hounds of hell, which in turn eat the insides of sin and can be considered sin-eaters. So the titles of these two episodes have something to do with Paradise Lost, although I still don't know why they were written in Welsh.

12. Material entity three elements

A famous medieval alchemists Paracelsus put forward a claim, the three elements of material is "sulfur for sou, mercury for spirit, salt for body". That's what Psymon was talking about.

13. Gnostic sundry

Add some possible both Gnostic and DS related content

Sophia is a character of gnostic texts, she represents the sacred feminine principle, but for some reason "fall", and "Demiurge" was born.

Gnostics believe that they are "divine spark", needs to be recalled and inspire from the material world.

Gnostics believe in reincarnation.

Gnostic is related with karbarra and alchemy.

Gnostic doctrine has affected the poetry of William Blake. As a student of romantic poetry in English literature, Jim has done a video about William Blake.

Four. To conclude

In fact, I originally planned to write a "possible outcome of the finale", but finally found that it is too difficult. I really can not analyse it, or have to wait for the author to wrap it up. Of course, I can do this “Yunshi”, but the quality of his sequel compared with the original text is obvious to all.

And, God damn it, isn't that the kind of work you're supposed to do when the author dies? Jim is very much alive. Why am I writing this? - But he won't continue, I am just waiting...

Anyway, here's a list of the characters that have appeared, and the ones that I personally think might correspond:

We/Angel - We were definitely called Astarte by Jim, but according to the previous article, we are also very likely Lucifer. Also, there are similarities to the Gnostic Sophia. Therefore, let us just consider her to be a high goddess (or angel) with both divine and demonic qualities.

Gabriel - There are all sorts of possibilities for Gabriel's identity, but here I'm leaning towards Occam's Razor and thinking that he is indeed a mortal. While there are questions about who his boss is, his original "mission from God," and so on, for now, let's just say he's an excommunicated mortal who's going to find us anyway.

Doom and Gloom – consider them mortal. Gloom's death by the light reflects our divinity.

Sam - This guy is harder to guess than Gabriel. Here's an exaggerated guess- Sam is the Gnostic Demiurge, or something like that, like an angel named Samael.

Psymon - consider him mortal, but what he says matters.

Brennen - consider him mortal.

Bill and Hugo - it's hard to say, I'm inclined to think of them as pagan mortals, but the hierarchical relationship between them in the original film is a bit of a concern.

Valencia - consider them mortal.

Elisa - the Goddess of chaos? There are not many references to the Goddess of Chaos in the whole DS, and if she is considered to be the goddess of Chaos, it is more difficult to relate to the whole DS. Elisa's appearance at the end of S2E2 is very noticeable.

Ricardo - consider him mortal.

Naomi - consider her mortal.

Mask Man/Mask Priest - consider him mortal. Maybe war criminal mentioned in season two?

Detective Holmes – consider him mortal.

Mr. And Mrs. Malcolm - although doubtful, they only appear in the lines, and there are very few clues.

Bartender - Depends on what Gabriel's last words are, whether they're "found you" or "I'll find you."

New cop - almost certainly the reincarnation of Angel.

...So, with so many lists, the ending is actually still no clue. How do we remember being an "angel" in our past live? Will Gabriel remain outside the Christian Church, or will he turn to paganism to save Angel? Who the hell is Sam? Is he gonna show up? When will Elisa's identity be revealed? How to solve the mystery of two seasons? What would Brennen tell Holmes? Will it end with another war between characters?

There are many more questions than are listed here. At the beginning, I added that it has been actually more than a month since I began to write this, most of which I have dealt with personal things, and this article is also very messy, and it is not a reference. There are a lot of things that come to mind because of memory confusion, probably not written down. And there are too many religious backgrounds involved, so if I didn't finish writing at that time, my energy would go a little weak later... In short, a thousand words add up to a sentence - update the sequel, Jim...!!