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cherrylng · 2 months ago

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Muse Interview - Matt Bellamy, Dom Howard, and Chris Wolstenholme [ROCKIN'ON (June 2001)]

Muse's explosive sound of philosophy, “Origin of Symmetry”

Interview: Erika Yamashita / Photo: Masakazu Yoshiba

There is no one who listens to this album and is not astonished. The long-awaited second album by Muse, Origin of Symmetry, is a real eye-opener. One reason for the surprise is that Muse has grown and developed beyond expectations in just a year and a half since their debut album. But another, and the biggest surprise, is the sheer preposterous scale and construction of this album. A concept born of an insatiable interest and passionate thirst for knowledge about what controls and drives the world, the universe and all things. The eleven tracks are assembled with an overwhelming sound. There are hysterical falsettos of lamenting vocals with bold shouts, abrasive and gritty rhythm sections galloping, bass lines dancing, imposing pianos echoing, and guitars making about three different instrumental sounds. The weepy, somewhat folk-like Muse verse is still there, but it's so grandly crafted that you forget about it. There are pushes and pulls, peaks and valleys within each song, and a steady flow throughout the album. Nobody makes an album like this nowadays. It's not at all like the “progressive rock” “co-concept albums” of the past, either. I'm asking you to listen to it, and to receive the almost obsessive feeling inside you. You can't be alone in your thoughts. So, while being swallowed up by the tremendous energy of this album, what remains at the end is somehow a liberating sense of exhilaration. I was amazed that they had managed to get so much out of the album without wasting any of it, and I found myself turning up the volume even more and more. While keeping their minds busy with philosophical ideas, they are different from the introspective and damp mainstream of today's young UK bands.

As this is the first time all three of them have appeared together in an interview, I asked them about their roles in the band: "Dom is the wood, Chris is the oil, and Matt is the spark" and "when the three of us get together we make a huge fire". They have been friends for more than 10 years since junior high school, and there is a chemistry between them that goes beyond that of bandmates. Chris is an early father but a hotshot, and Dom is apparently the wife at Matt's side [1]. The excessive life energy, unique thought process and unbridled creativity of Matt Bellamy is able to continue to flourish without breaking down, thanks to this line-up.

After the interview, I saw the band live at a university hall in Norwich. The performance, which included most of the new album and some of the first numbers, was so strong that it was hard to believe it had only been a week since the start of the tour. The band are extraordinary performers to begin with, but what makes Muse's stage presence shine today is something else than technical conviction. The expression that originally emanated from the enormous mental energy of Matt hits us as a “sound” with powerful physicality. It seems to be visible now. Muse? Well, they're good, but they're a bit…… Even those who had said that were holding their breath at their new live show, their mouths open, and before they knew it, they were transformed into a whirlpool of bodies. Their summer showcase gigs are something to look forward to. In the next issue of this magazine, Matt will talk about each song on the album in more detail!

“At the beginning we were worried, we didn't know what people would think. But now we know that if we play music that we feel is ‘the one’, a lot of people will like it.”

What are your own feelings about the new record, now that it's finally finished? Chris (C): 「Oh, it's good.」 Dominic (D): 「(laughs) Yeah. I think we're all happy with it. It's a very different sound from before and we're happy with our performance. We've tried to do a lot of different things on purpose. Like long numbers and songs without guitars.」 Matt (M): 「A lot of the songs are dynamic, like a combination of several songs. Well, about half of them are hard numbers that are more like our live performances, but the one with John Leckie is longer. I think the bass sound is more prominent this time, after all. The same goes for Dom's drums. I think they're much more pronounced this time than before. I think there's a good balance between the three of us.」 C: 「I think that, unlike before, we've worked on it a lot on tour.」

I think this is one of the biggest albums in recent years. It's a huge leap forward, and it's also full of the feeling that it was so much fun to create the sound in the studio. Everyone: 「(nods their heads vigorously)」 M: 「John Leckie is a guy who really likes to experiment with sound. You can hear all kinds of tinkering with sounds, especially in the songs he produced.」

From the sound of "Plug In Baby" I had a feeling that the sound would be sharper, more solid and more confident, and I was not disappointed. M: 「I think the mix of live instruments and various electronic sounds worked well. But the electronic parts are done on guitar. I had two guitars built that I designed myself. It's a heavy sound, like a synth.’ Plug In’ also has a synth-like sound in the background, but it's played on guitars. One of the guitars has a mess of microphones attached to it. It's a cyber guitar (laughs). You can play it on a plectrum, but if you hit a button or something, it makes a sound.」

You wouldn't break that, would you? M: 「Hahahaha. I won't break it, I promise.」

(laughs). It's a really remarkable improvement, but how is it different from the first album? M: 「The biggest difference is our attitude towards making music. We have confidence in what we're doing, and we're okay with putting it out there for all kinds of people. When we first started out, we were quite anxious and didn't know what people would think. But now we know that if we play the music we think is right, a lot of people will like it. Anyway, it's confidence in every sense of the word. I think we're more open as musicians and songwriters, and I think we've gone a lot deeper than we did on the first album.」

It has a very intricate and complex sound and song structure, was it a difficult record to make? M: 「Not really. For example, on the last album, there were quite a few songs that we recorded once and then re-recorded later and they turned out good, but this time I was satisfied with all the songs after just one recording.」 D: 「It wasn't hard to do. Even before we went into the studio, we knew exactly what we wanted to do.」 M: 「And we rehearsed a lot. We'd done a lot of touring on songs like "Plug In Baby", "New Born" and "Feeling Good", so recording them was a piece of cake, which meant we could spend more time on the other difficult songs. John Leckie came to Devon to watch us rehearse and we discussed which songs to record. We didn't want to waste time in the studio making decisions. So this year we spent three weeks at Real World Studios and a week and a half at Astoria, a floating studio on the Thames. That boat used to belong to Chaplin, and now it belongs to Pink Floyd. And then the last three weeks we went into Abbey Road Studios.」

So was this overwhelming finish something you had in mind from the start? M: 「No, it turned out very different to what I had in mind. I mean, it's hard to predict. Even if you have a direction at the beginning, it changes as the song progresses.」

What are the qualities and contributions of the two producers, Dave Bottrill and John Leckie? M: 「Generally, I don't like producers who meddle in the arrangements. John Leckie is one who never does that. He never tries to change anything, he just lets us do what we want to do. But Dave Bottrill had some input on the arrangements of "New Born" and "Plug In Baby". I never usually accept that, but his advice was very simple and excellent. He's probably the only producer I can trust to give me advice on arrangements. Apart from that, Bottrill is very good at capturing a live sound. So it was perfect for us right after the tour. John Leckie, on the other hand, has a lot of experience in doing a lot of different things. So we could experiment with him. I feel like I can trust his opinion that he's done it this way before, or that it could be better this way. In a nutshell, John Leckie's contribution is a great deal of experience and knowledge. Well, on the last album there was another voice, Paul Reeve, who was a big part of it, he was the engineer and almost co-producer, but I think the tone is more consistent this time. It's basically Leckie and me.」

Was there a particular recording session or song that left the biggest impression on you? M: 「"Megalomania" started out as a quiet song with acoustic guitar and a bit of percussion from Dom, but halfway through it turned into a song with a majestic church organ. Dom was playing very rock drums and Chris was playing a very heavy distorted bass sound, and there was a church organ sound on top of that. It's a powerful mix of very old and new sounds. It's all over the album. On "Screenagers", the bones sound like they're a hundred years old, and then all of a sudden you're surprised by the synth sounds. Almost every song changed a lot during the recording process. We came up with different arrangements and used new instruments. But in general, we made it with the intention of being able to reproduce it live.」 D: 「"Screenagers", by the way, that's a strange atmosphere……」 M: 「It was just the three of us and John Leckie in the studio, and we brought all sorts of stuff in there. Bones, animal claws…」 D: 「Llama toenails and stuff.」 M: 「The four of us would make all sorts of sounds with all these strange objects that we put around the room, and we'd record them first. Then we put the music on top of that in the same room.」

Where did you find all these ‘strange objects’? M: 「Oh, John Leckie has a lot of stuff (laughs). Dom's got a few of them, and I've got a friend who's got a few of those. Most of them are percussion kind of things. Like a bullroarer, a kalimba. Wind chimes and stuff like that. And what else……」 D: 「Bubble wrapping sheets [2]. Thin sticks that make a thunder-like sound. Um……」 M: 「It's a long tube (laughs). It was more to create an atmosphere than a musical instrument. What was it for, let's see…」 D: 「Well, it's more like creating a background.」 M: 「Well, at first I was trying to create a sound like a windy summer day. But then we started going in a weird, dark direction.」 D: 「It was about creating an image of the band being in this kind of place. Like on a porch, or on top of a hill. But it was like we were sitting by the fire. I think the sound of the bubble wrapping sheet is like the sound of sparks bursting out of a fire.」 M: 「If silence is a pure white canvas, this is like painting on a canvas that has something on it beforehand. It's like chaos theory or nonlinear mathematics. It's the initial conditions that make a big difference.」

……Yes. M: 「(laughs) How can fiddling with llama toenails be nonlinear mathematics?」

Anyway, it sounds like it was a fun recording session. D: 「It was very smooth and relaxed.」 M: 「Really? I was stressed all the time.」

Doesn't that mean that Dom is always the relaxed one and Matt is the stressed one? M: 「I think so. I was always worrying about this and that. I was worried and nervous and self-doubting. From start to finish (laughs). Once we'd finished making the album and started touring, that went away. Then little by little, I went into a stress cycle for the next album.」

"We know very little about music before the 90s. There were a lot of bands that made concept albums in the past, but I don't know anything about them."

Hahaha. I don't think there are any bands in the UK today that are willing to take on and stand up for these big themes and concepts. What do you think? M: 「In other words, it's about taking on the responsibility of what you say in your expression and music, right? I think so. Of course, there are lots and lots of bands out there, but amongst the rather well-known UK bands now, there are hardly any that I feel a connection with.」

So, not only is it a concept album that relies on a major theme, but it also has very progressive elements, including themes such as existence and the universe, but despite this it has a strong personality that is not anachronistic or retro. What do you think is the core of this individuality? M: 「Well. I guess we hardly know any music from before the 90s.」 C&D: 「Pfft (laughs).」 M: 「No, no, that's part of it…… There were a lot of bands that made concept albums in the past, but I don't know anything about them. John Leckie often talks about when he worked with Pink Floyd, and when I tell him I don't know any of the songs, he laughs really hard. He always finds it strange. He says we know very little about music that he thinks is compatible with us.」

What do you consider to be the main musical influences of this album? M: 「Yeah, we talked about it a bit the other day, but for me I can see where the influences are coming from. Half of what I listen to is old…… I mean, music from the end of the 19th and the first half of the 20th century, like Rachmaninoff, Debussy, and Chopin. I also listen to a lot of piano music. I've gotten a lot better as a pianist compared to last year. Until last year, I was just okay, and in the first album I could do very simple arpeggios. You know, like "Sunburn". But I practised a lot after that. I listened to and studied a lot of piano music. There is a pianist called Evgeny Kissin who plays very complex music, and I listened to a lot of that. I also listened to a lot of Daft Punk, Yell, the old Aphex Twin, and a little bit of rock, like NIN and Deftones. I think it came from being exposed to both very old music and modern music.」

Are you bored of the guitar? M: 「No, no, no, not at all. I just always wanted to be a very good pianist. It's a difficult instrument.」

You originally played jazz piano first, didn't you? When you were a child. M: 「Yes, but it's only in the last six months or so that I've really been able to play the way I want to play. So the piano isn't a big deal, I only use it on two songs or so. But I think it has a lot of influence on songwriting and arranging, because it's easier to come up with interesting chords when writing songs on the piano than on the guitar. But I prefer to play the guitar in live performances.」

You don't bring a grand piano on stage? M: 「No, no. I'll probably play the piano on one song, but it'll be a small electric piano. I love the grand piano, but only if I go that far (laughs).」

How about you two? What are the musical influences on this album? D: 「That's pretty much it. Rage Against The Machine, NIN, and Deftones are the only rock bands that all three of us listen to. There's something in their music that's different from other American bands.」 M: 「Chris's taste has changed the most so far. He used to be all about heavy music.」 C: 「Now I specialise in "Pet Sounds".」

(laughs). Now, about the title of the album, "Origin of Symmetry." M: 「……Is it really good?」 C: 「Hmm? (laughs)」 M: 「Hey, that doesn't look good. How does it feel? What do you think of this title? What do you think when you hear this phrase?」 C: 「Well…」 D: 「(lost in laughter)」 M: 「I hope it's a title that makes all sorts of people think about all sorts of things. It's something that each person can define in their own way. Even if I don't need to define it myself.」

Please give us your own definition as well. M: 「I think several themes will emerge throughout the album. It's…… Well, how should I put it (laughs)…… Well, first of all, it's about "Space Dementia". Futurism. That word could have been the title of the album. Futurism has nothing to do with the history of art, it's just a kind of idea, but I've recently learned that there's a word for personal fulfilment and the meaning of life being available later on, not now. But in any case, I think it would be a mistake to base the meaning of your life on the knowledge you've acquired so far. I think you should always be open to new ideas. And what "Space Dementia" is talking about is the feeling you get when you realise that we are really, really alone in this universe. Also, it's still about atheism and things like that. Not believing in God, and how to deal with that. Some of the songs really speak directly to God - or at least to God, if there is a God. Why are we here, what is the reason for our existence, and what is the reason for God's existence? Those things pop up every now and then (laughs).」

Why are you so obsessed with religion? Did you used to believe in God overwhelmingly? M: 「No, I think it is difficult to believe in God in today's world. Any religion is a stage in the evolution of a particular nation or civilisation, and now that there is such a global connection, no religion is good enough to be applicable to the whole. So I think that by searching for something that works for the whole planet, maybe we can become one. I think that what we call human consciousness - consciousness - has existed since the beginning of the universe when it exploded. The universe started with ten dimensional space, which was divided into two smaller spaces by the explosion, one of which is the four dimensional space in which we live. And consciousness is the evolution of the so-called material elements to a higher state. I think that in the beginning, the universe was fully conscious. The smallest of these was the atomic nucleus, from which electrons were eventually created, and then atoms, which are a higher level of consciousness, and then groups of atoms create the elements…… and so on, and as the degrees of consciousness increase and the individual things merge, they eventually become one complete consciousness. And eventually the aggregation of the elements made the stars. I think the stars have consciousness and the universe is trying to form a higher dimensional order. All the elements that make up the earth and our physical bodies were once part of a single celestial body. Billions of years ago, it was split into several celestial systems by a supernova. So there was once a time when we were consciously one. Now I think we're struggling to reconstitute it somehow, to get back to our original state. We're trying to reconnect with every single person on the planet and with the universe. That's what I sing about on the album (laughs).[3]」

That was a very obvious answer…… Where did you come up with these themes? M: 「I've always wanted to know about that kind of thing, so I've been doing a lot of research. I feel satisfied and happy when I am researching and searching for something. So my research has shifted from religion to science. But I still don't know if what I just said is really 100% correct (laughs). Anyway, I've been reading a lot of books on philosophy of science.」

Does that come from resistance to the fear, for example, that humanity is infinitely lonely and that there is nothing in a human lifetime that we can believe in? M: 「Yes, that's the struggle. That feeling of loneliness and fear is the negative side of my thinking, whereas the positive side of my thinking is that we are all united on a cosmic level and are somehow moving towards a higher order. But what really frightens me is that the universe is in fact on the verge of decay and death. There are signs that what was once perfect is gradually cooling down as it splits into smaller and smaller pieces. It's called entropy, and it means that the universe will eventually die. This is a frightening thought, because it means that there is no positive reason for being alive. But, you know, that's a negative way of thinking, and there are positive ways of thinking too. The universe, which used to be dead, is becoming more and more vibrant, and different species are emerging. If the temperature of the universe keeps dropping, somewhere you get to the point where life can occur, and right now life is occurring everywhere in the universe, and it may be about to form something completely different from what we have seen before. The songs on this album go back and forth between these two ideas of negative and positive, and hopefully I want to be on the positive side (laughs).」

Is "Plug In Baby" actually a song about that? The NME live review said that the lyrics were "like virtual sex", which made me laugh a little. M: 「Hahaha. That was, well, high energy and a bit …… It might not be easy to get into from the line I just mentioned (laughs). I think it can be read in a lot of different ways. I wrote those lyrics a long time ago, and I can't remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. But in the overall context of the album, it's like I'm singing to a human being who was once thought of as a god, saying I've exposed your lies, that I've seen what's underneath but it's no big surprise, that now is the time for a change, that it's time to cleanse everything away and forget your love. Maybe it's time to abandon the old God and celebrate the latest science and technology, or something like that…… Maybe, like that. Haha.[4]」

Do both Dom and Chris share Matt's developing themes about science and existence? Or is it more a case of leaving it to the megalomaniacal lyricists and not revealing anything? Everyone: 「Pfft, wahahahaha.」 D: 「No, I'm really interested in this stuff too. But Matt reads a lot more mathematical books than I do.」 M: 「We talk about a lot of stuff. I sat down with Chris to talk about the lyrics for this album, and we talked about what we were singing about. But I always tell Dom what books I'm reading and what I'm thinking about. It's not like, "Let's discuss this song" or anything like that (laughs). I think everyone talks about these things in their own way. Some people don't need that many words to express an idea. Some people can sum it up in just one sentence. It just takes me about an hour to say that (laughs)…… Well, I could explain that this song is about my girlfriend and how I was recently dumped, but that wouldn't be funny, would it?」

(laughs). M: 「No, I might get dumped soon.[5]」 D&C: 「Hahahaha……」 M: 「I'm doing this because I think I can explain what is influencing me on a deeper level and making me write music. And I think there are many explanations for one thing. I never know which one is the purely correct explanation.」

The majestic number "Megalomania" at the end of the album was tentatively titled "Paradise" or "Multiple." Is it an inside joke to end the album with a song called Megalomania, which means delusion of grandeur? M: 「……Yes.」

In other words? M: 「Hahaha, well, I mean, it's a really grandiose, almost obsessive obsession to find out the identity of the one who controls everything.」

That's what you have inside you. M: 「To find God. Yeah.」

"When I was 16 or 18, what I wanted to do didn't mesh with anyone around me. My way of doing everything was extreme and insane. I always want to go as far as I can. That's life for me, otherwise what's the point?"

You said you've always thought about the purpose of life and the meaning of existence, when was the first time you thought about that? M: 「Every moment of my life, all the time…… My first memory of my life is a smell. Maybe when I was one or two. The smell of cough medicine spilling on my clothes. But now I think about it, there was me smelling it and there was me looking at it from across the room. I think my whole life has been like that. I think I've been like that my whole life… me looking out from the inside, and me looking at myself from outside, from a distance. Haha…… Any memory I have, there are always two perspectives like that, at the same time.」

You seem mature for your age in terms of what you're thinking and what you're trying to deal with in your music, but do you ever find that you don't talk to young people your own age? M: 「Oh, that. That happens sometimes. I mean, earlier, when I was 16-18, I was very much like that. What I wanted to do didn't really mesh with anyone around me. My way of doing everything was extreme and insane. I always want to go as far as I can. That's life for me, otherwise there's no point. It's a waste of time. But now, I think it's good to talk to other people of my generation. When you talk to people who went to university, they've done so many different things, and there's so much to talk about, it's interesting.」

Do you think there are more or less generational interests and sensitivities, although expressed in different ways? Do you think that themes like the "meaning of existence" that you discuss, which are philosophical and may be considered difficult, resonate with people? M: 「Yes, I think so. When I talk to people I know, I think we're all thinking about the same things. The environment in which we live, the global environment, the relationship between Western society and the third world, and so on. I think overall people are thinking more globally than they used to. ……Probably. Maybe not (laughs).」

Dom has been smiling and listening to what Matt has to say since a while ago, what does he mean to you? D: 「I think he's totally what he says he is. He's constantly raising questions about the world, about people, about society, and this is also like he says himself, sometimes he splits up inside himself without coming to a conclusion.」 M: 「"Origin of Symmetry" is about somehow finding the common thread that runs through all people. And it's hidden in the deepest place, and for me it's music. That's the source of my harmony. Hehehehe.」

So you're saying that music is the anchor that keeps you from constantly treating the world from a split perspective, for better or worse? M: 「Oh, yeah…… Yeah (laughs).」

There are even people who sing songs about the meaning of existence, about emptiness, or about not falling into emptiness, against the walls of their bedrooms. Have you always felt that such a way of expression was not enough for you? If you want to express yourself, it has to be in what could be called "excessive". M: 「Yes. I've thought about it a lot so far, but there are quite a lot of people who don't want to show their inner selves to the fullest. I don't know why. I'm not afraid or ashamed of what's inside me. But I also don't know why I am the way I am. Why do I want to express everything inside and outside of myself so much…… Hehehe……」

What I feel throughout the album here is that the music is like reaching out from the darkness towards a ray of light. D: 「It's good, that’s how it feels.」 M: 「Because I think the darkest moments in life are the moments when you find something truly meaningful.」

I see. I once asked you what hope means to you, do you remember? You said your definition of hope was "a small light above your head at the bottom of a deep, dark well". M: 「Hehehe…… I think so.」

Well, the tour has finally started. Do you feel that with this magnificent new album, Muse have entered a whole new chapter? M: 「Yeah, yeah. I feel that way lately. Everything is progressing at a good pace. Unlike last time, the artwork is progressing well. We're going to use several artists' interpretations of the phrase “seeking harmony in chaos”. One of them will be used as the front cover, and each page will be decorated with a different picture. Each one looks completely different, some artists draw pictures, some sculptures, and some internet art. They are all very good, and I think you can find something in common through all of them. I think it's the same with the songs on the album. I'm trying to find a balance amongst all the noise. I'm trying to find harmony and reason in the seemingly chaotic. I want life to be like that for me. It can be explained in many ways, but there is definitely something at the core. We humans are all like that after all, so I think we should think more about that kind of thing that we all share.」

By the way, there were some people who said that the original cover of "Plug In Baby" was "bad" and "I don't like it" (laughs), so a different design was used for the Japanese version, but what was the mindset behind the design of the cover? M: 「Aliens are something that people came up with when they wanted to escape from loneliness and thought that they exist somewhere in the universe, right? And, this is completely unrelated to this story, haha, but there's another background to it. I had a series of hallucinatory dreams for a while. It sounds like a bad thing to say, but…… When I was in America, I was drinking a lot every night and I always had a headache during the day. I didn't mean to drink that much, but at one point, when I woke up every morning, I thought that I had the same strange dream. I was in a desert-like place where the ground was dry and cracked, the sky was blue and the sun was so bright, and the horizon was so flat and endless that there was no way to escape. There I'm being chased by sharp blades and I'm desperately trying to escape. There are many, many blades flying around in the air, and I try to run and avoid getting hit, but sometimes I get hit. And they pierced me. BBut they didn't cut my body, they just went into a certain part of my brain. Every morning when I wake up, that spot hurts. I can still tell that this spot hurt. And I started to get really worried. I thought there must be something wrong with me.」

In the brain? M: 「Yes. (laughs) Or maybe not…… I saw a film called Communion, which is a very good film, and it was based on a novel, and it was basically about people who were abducted by aliens. It's about how people create that experience within themselves. Especially during creative brainstorming. The film is about a writer who, while writing a new book, falls into a slump and can't write anything. He gets abducted by aliens, but it's actually all in his imagination. But he wakes up every morning with a severe pain in one spot on his head. The alien comes with a sharp blade and drills a hole in his head. It's different from my hallucination I had, but I felt like there was something in common. So the alien picture on the cover was partly influenced by that film. And the contents of the album are also somehow connected. But I think my headache was just because I was dehydrated (laughs). And it went away when I started drinking water.」

Right. But what do you do? What if you were actually being abducted by aliens every night? M: 「Eh…… Heeheeheehee.」

Translator's Note: So many things to say.

[1] Every time I question how and when Belldom came into existence, wondering if this was just something that early Muse fans cooked up for fun, I get reminded that the dynamics of their friendship was already THAT obvious early on and it was even noticed by the Japanese journalists who have interviewed them.

[2] The word that was actually written was puchi-puchi (ぷちぷち) wrapping sheet. If you know what popping bubble wrap sounds like, then that’s what was described.

[3] I’m impressed that the journalist managed to understand the whole thing that Matt was rambling on about to keep up with him, on top of the translator who later had to translate the transcript from English to Japanese. Kudos to them, honestly.

[4] Yes, that is literally Matt describing “Plug In Baby”… word-to-word from the actual lyrics itself. I just edited the part to make sure that it does read as close to the lyrics as possible.

[5] I’ve checked on Musewiki, and I think this Rockin’On interview might be the earliest mention of Matt talking about his and Tanya’s relationship breaking down. Especially given that the interview occurred in early April, right before their live gig at University of East Anglia in Norwich (April 9th, 2001) that the journalist attended as well. So it’s a period of time where they were already separated, but you can see that Matt was going through a hard time accepting it.

That's all to say. Please do support me with my Ko-fi! ☕

#Matt Bellamy #Dom Howard #Chris Wolstenholme #Muse #Muse band #Origin of Symmetry era #my scan #translation #interview #ROCKIN'ON #ROCKIN'ON June 2001

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thequietkid-moonie · 2 years ago

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Reader help Link after he wakes up

[ HEADCANONS ] [ The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild ]

I remember reading an idea like this some time ago and also there was This discussion of how Link doesn't remember anything and still have to save Hyrule 😟

So I decided to write my own versión, hope you like it! =D

Link had been waken up for a beautiful voice that lead him outside of the strange place he was on, and since Link had wake up he had been lead to do diferent things by people he doesn't know without much room to protest

Everything had culmine when the strange old man revealed to be the last king of Hyrule and tells him that he is a campeon destined to defeat the calamity that haunt the castle before disearing and leave him alone once again. Not knowing much than his mision or that he should go to Kakariko, Link start his journey

You could meet him on his way, either because you live in Kakariko or because you are an adventurer and find him on the middle of his road, either way who you meet isn't the warrior that had just wake up to fulfil his goal, who you meet is a man with old clothes that look at everything confused and amused, just like a toddler discovering the world for the first time

Lately had been happening strange things (like the towers that just appeared from nowhere) and meeting someone like him is pretty strange, he could easily be a Yiga, so being wary of him will be normal, and he can understand somewhat even if that place look somehow familiar he is nothing much than a stranger, no matter what he was in the past, is a past he doesn't even remember

When you asked him who he is or what he is doing he can't do more than look away shamessly, what he was supose to say? That the voice of the princess Zelda had just woke him up? that he is destined to defeat Ganon?

But when you ask him if he needs help he was taken aback, it doesn't matter if is for pitty or because you want to keep a close eye on him, you had just offer him your help. If you are an adventurer your help will be of great help actually, since he doesn't know how to do pretty much nothing right now, and even if you aren't one still, a little help is welcome

He still was unsure to acept your help, he didn't know if he should trust you, but in reallity he barely know what to do and some help will be good, so he hesitatly accept it. At first he just wanted to go to Kakariko to find Impa as the King had tell him, not wanting to make her wait more time than she already wait

Since he is still pretty new to everything soon you will get the opportunity to help him more, he has to visit all the kingdoms and search for the rest of the shrines and towers, even if the only things you could do for him is teach him some things about the world it would be a great help

After some time that you started helped him you two will end up being good friends, he holds you close to his heart since you are practically his first friend since he has waken up and he is grateful for your help

If you are an adventurer then the two of you will end up traveling together even if is just for a while and he will try to learn from you all he can too. Still, after he start to continue with his adventure he invite you over to travel to the other kingdoms (he doesn't express it but it would make him really happy if you accept), but if you decline his offer he will respect your choise and will still try to keep un contact with you and pay you a visist whenever he is near the place you are

If you aren't an adventurer that will become a motivation for him to became stronger so he could take you at least on a little trip. Also, whenever he cames to pay you a visit and this time is him who teach you something new he will feel really proud of himself (and gives him more motivation to continue with his journey)

In either case (when you don't go with him) whenever he visist you he always brings a gift for you from wherever he was, it could be different materials that you could use or he know you need, or something he knows you will like (specially from the kingdom you are more interesed on)

He wants to tell you about the places he visit or all the things he does, but since he really doesn't like talking too much (or isn't too confortable with it) he gets used to taking a lot of photos with the Sheikah Slate so he could show you

Also, he will let you try and experiment with the Runes of the Sheikah Slate, specially if you two travel together being that then you two will have more oportunities to try it, but please don't point it out because he will feel embarrased for being so irresponsable (he just want to have some fun with his best friend)

Whenever he retrieve one of his memories he needs some time to process it, it could be difficult for him since he is learning about his past and even about himself, so he could hold back himself a little and even quietly searching your company since it comforts him

#the legend of zelda #the legend of zelda x reader #tloz #tloz x reader #breath of the wild #breath of the wild x reader #botw #botw x reader #link #link x reader #x reader #x gn reader #reader insert

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soobberries · 1 year ago

Text

Dilf!Seonghwa pt 2.

Author's Note: Mayhaps I'm tempted to make this a proper fic series and rewrite it... But for now, it's going to be a 'deconstructed fanfiction' as I call it. Let me know if you want a part 3! Feedback is always appreciated too!

Also, this hasn't been properly proofread :p

Warning: Despite this technically being based on a legal reader, since there is a somewhat large age gap - thought I would clarify:

Please be aware that I do not condone any type of relationships between minors and adults, nor do I encourage the idea of being a homewrecker. This is all just fiction! So without further ado, let’s get started!

Genre: Doesn’t exactly have one but has elements of crack and is suggestive.

Age: This is written for a somewhat mature audience so please, no under 16s. Stay safe younglings <3

Word Count: 3.9k

Part one: click here!

Yeah booooiiiiiz, let’s go!

After the first encounter at the fundraiser, which by the way, was ruined by some PTA moms gossiping outside the bathroom door (which caused you and Mr. Park to get the shock of your lives. Fumbling around the enclosed space in slight panic with the sudden reality check of where you two were).

It ended in him having covered your exposed self with his blazer, insisting you can keep it, secretly in hopes that it would be an excuse to somehow see you again.

Despite it being painfully awkward (read: unlawful), you were far too intrigued by Mr. Park to let that be your last encounter as well.

I mean who can blame you? It was a day that definitely took you for a ride (and perhaps not the exact one you would prefer but who knows, maybe it'll lead to the ideal one 🤪).

jk jk… Unless-

Sometimes you even question if it was a fever dream or something but… you knew it wasn't-

… the blazer stared you down a lot. It definitely was real.

So you maaaay have decided against your better judgment to look after Nila a whole lot more these days, just in the rare case you may bump into him :D

You’ve been pretty unlucky though.

You’ve become used to seeing Yerim running towards you with Nila to give you hugs though… which honestly? A very wholesome experience so you can't complain.

Yerim loved you now since Nila was her best friend and if you were taking Yerim back to Nila’s house or they were going to hang out, you’d take them out for ice cream secretly without their parents knowing (which made it even more exciting for them).

Listen, part of you knew that maybe all this was stupid, and the chances of seeing him were slim, but it wasn’t all too bad and you didn’t have anything to lose.

These two kids were basically like your own but without the burden and responsibility of being an actual parent, and you were making some decent cash over the summer (plus your mom was pleased with how much you were helping her co-worker since it helped their relationship too.)

Which was great honestly. You grew to like the two munchkins since they weren’t bad or rude. They were both a little chaotic and loud at times, but overall, just really sweet, happy kids. You couldn’t help but cherish them.

So even without seeing the handsome devil himself, you felt satisfied with your looney decision as it came with other benefits.

It wasn’t until one particular day after the girls had some late afternoon sports practice that you ended up finally seeing the man that's been plaguing your thoughts for the past while.

Of course, you were excited to see that he was indeed, not a figment of your imagination anymore, however, you weren't as happy as you thought you'd be.

In fact, you were pretty angry when you did end up seeing him…

You had good reason to be though.

After their practice, Nila asked if you and her could wait with Yerim until her mom came to fetch her so she wouldn’t be alone...and yes perhaps some undying curiosity about who the mysterious ‘Mrs Park’ actually was, was urging you to stay…

But you did also care for the two girls so it was a no-brainer when you ultimately sat down with them outside at one of the nearby benches, not really bothered.

…

Uhhhh… nevermind?

It’s been about an hour and both girls were getting restless, as well as yourself.

Where was Mrs Park, or at the very least, the driver she often sent to fetch Yerim instead?

You offered your phone to Yerim, and she was polite and thankful at the gesture, however, after dialing the number she knew off by heart twice, her mother didn’t answer, so she phoned the only other number she knew: her dad.

Seonghwa’s coupe rolled up about thirty minutes after the call, and if it weren’t for the circumstance, you’d be eyeing down his expensive car more carefully.

“Daddy!” Yerim shouted, running towards him with her arms open, only relief and excitement in her voice.

He leaned down waiting for her hug before embracing her into his arms.

“Hey sweetheart! Sorry, I made you wait, love. Why don’t you go put your stuff in the car while Daddy speaks to Y/n?”

(score, he remembers your name. Yerim must mention you at home sometimes).

The girl nodded, running towards you to give you a hug as a thank you before running off to the car with her things, Nila assisting in carrying her lunchbox and maths book to the car as well.

You stood arms crossed and all, staring him down expectantly.

Seonghwa gulped at how scary the aura you were exuding appeared to be.

“Nice to see you again,” is all he could get out with a small smile; meekly, at that.

Your knees were weak at the sight of his smile but your head was still strong.

“You made your kid wait two hours, you know that? They close facilities in fifteen minutes. How could you let her wait so long?” You spoke calmly, but Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed despite the gentle voice.

It felt like you were aggressively scolding him, despite you actually being more reasonable than perhaps the situation granted.

His chest tightened; he knew it was because he hated seeing you even slightly upset, he just wasn’t exactly sure why.

It just gave him an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, as if he feared something…

“Her mom was supposed to come and she didn’t. Apparently, she had work and forgot to tell me…” He uttered while gazing at the floor and clasping his hands awkwardly in front of him.

It was the first time Seonghwa didn’t have this confident flair that was always present, even if it was just in his walk.

He genuinely looked upset with himself and it made your heart drop a little, realizing that it’s not really your place to speak about what you did. You were just some girl, You crossed the line…

But it obviously wasn’t purposeful and granted, something had to be said. Being left at school by your parents can sometimes be the worst feeling after a long school day, and you know Yerim has mentioned waiting at school for a long while more than once.

“Hey,” You reached over towards him, placing your hands atop his shoulders.

“It wasn’t your fault. You were busy right?”

Seonghwa, with a spark in his eye, looked towards you, hesitantly nodding.

He had a small pout displayed and for a second you couldn’t help but wonder how the hell this handsome, adult man could look so cute.

No wait, be serious here!

“It just shouldn’t become a habit. I saw how sad Yerim looked when her mom didn’t pick up the phone, but she said she’s used to it...I, I know it’s not my place, but I just worry for her. Sorry for overstepping.”

You let out a sigh looking away, before retracting your hands, wanting to give him some personal space.

But you couldn’t because when you pulled away he grabbed your forearms pulling you to your previous spot which was closer to him.

He trailed his hands gently down your arms, grasping your hands in his own.

“It’s okay. You’re right. I just, really didn’t know,” He said tenderly.

His voice is only loud enough to reach your ears, and your ears alone.

“If you ever need me to urgently help out with Yerim, I don’t mind…” You said, trying to ignore the close proximity between the two of you and the very much intentional hand-holding.

Everything felt still and peaceful,

Perhaps it was due to the school being mainly empty and the sky getting darker but for a moment things stopped for a second, it was just you two in each other’s company while silence encompassed the two of you.

“It’s nice having someone like you care so much for her...and me as well. I’ll keep that in mind.” he gave your hands a soft squeeze.

Ignoring the heat rising to your face, you sent him a bashful smile.

"Uhh, you should get going…" You said uncertainly, trying to be responsible, but you knew deep down that you didn't want to let go of him just yet.

"You're right… Before I leave, can I have your number? For emergencies, like you said." He uttered out, letting go of your hands to reach for his phone, causing you to realize how warm his hands were keeping yours.

“I actually still need to return your blazer…” you mumbled mindlessly, as you took his phone, typing away.

He chuckled, placing his hand on the back of his neck, “Right, I almost forgot! Seems I remembered everything else about you that day except that,” he said, only to somewhat regret his ambiguous words after they came out of his mouth.

You nodded, unsure exactly what he entailed, but you had a good idea of what he may have been referring to.

You awkwardly exchanged numbers with him before you both parted ways.

This was a bad idea…Offering up your services just like that… Especially since it’s not null of selfish intentions.

But, for now, if no one is getting harmed, then, whatever.

You’ll handle what comes when you get there if you get there.

So lil time skip of about two weeks and you’re chilling, procrastinating the cleanup that you should be doing this Friday afternoon when you get a notification— Seonghwa’s name appearing on screen.

Hey, I know this is a bit sudden, but it’s the end of our business quarter and I have to stay late. Yerim will be all alone at home and no one will be there until 11pm. I’m sorry to ask this of you, but would you be willing to look after her? I promise I’ll compensate you generously.

Are you really about to look after this dude’s kid because you think he’s hot when you could rather be hanging out with friends or watching movies (or actually cleaning)?

Yeah. deal with it.

Of course! I don’t mind at all. Is there anything particular I should know (like should I bring her dinner or-)? And I hope we can discuss the compensation when you arrive home :)

Oh man… your mind really shouldn’t be jumping the gun here but it’s like, really really hard to not think about this scenario playing out…

What scenario?

Him compensating for this through physical means instead-

Iykyk.

He lets you know that there are some leftovers in the fridge that you can heat up for Yerim and sends you his address.

On your way there you can’t help but wonder why his wife isn’t there or a caretaker for Yerim. Is she also working late or are they not staying with each other..? It’s none of your business but of course, you were curious.

The whole situation just seemed weird to you so perhaps you’d see if you can figure something out from Yerim.

Upon arriving, your jaw dropped at how fancy the place was. Like yeah, he seemed like he had a decent job but to be raking in this much money? Damn…

There was a glass staircase, floors made of marble, and art pieces that you knew only wealthy people have the privilege of buying, and let’s not forget the fancy security system, that Seonghwa so graciously gave you the password to.

You laid your things down, calling out to Yerim before she shouts that she was coming.

You see her scurry down the stairs, running towards you to give you a hug. You pick her up, amused by her excitement.

“Y/n! Are you looking after me?” She asks with bright eyes and you give her a nod to which she smiles, elated.

“But your dad gave me some rules to follow and I don’t want to get in trouble. I’m sure you don’t either, right?”

She eagerly nodded, seeming to have a war flashback to when her dad got mad at her.

“Then let’s be good, alright?” You chuckled at her reaction.

You set her down, and after exploring the house nonchalantly, you played with her a bit before letting her go do her own thing in her room.

While silence filled the floor you were on, the various things lying around in the house piqued your interest.

You walked up to a small desk that had very few minimalistic ornaments and three frames, as well as some flowers that seemed to have started withering.

Upon further inspection, you realized that in the frame were Yerim, Seonghwa, and the infamous Mrs. Park. You couldn’t help but scoff at how pretty she was. Bright, bold eyes, thick heart-shaped lips, a small nose, a long neck giving her an elegant appearance, dark raven hair, and a nice figure to top it all off.

You’d be lying if you said Seonghwa and her didn’t look beautiful together.

In fact, they must’ve been the talk of their neighborhood with how well they visually complemented each other. People likely gushing over what a pretty couple they make.

You placed the frame down, picking up the vase of flowers, wanting to change the browning water.

You didn’t understand why, but you felt a bit bitter while staring at the photos.

Maybe it was because of your obvious attraction to Seonghwa or maybe it was because through small anecdotes you’ve figured out that she’s seemingly neglectful to her family.

Either way, despite her being beautiful, it irked you to stay staring at the sweet family photos.

You walked away busying yourself with the vase, thinking of how interesting it is…

They look like the perfect family in those photos, happy as ever…Meanwhile, Seonghwa has revealed to you how stressed and strained his relationship was, and you’ve witnessed Yerim look dejected whenever her mom or sometimes even her father failed to show up to school events.

When placing the flowers back in their original place, you shook your head, trying to get your thoughts in order as you made your way elsewhere in the house.

You sunk into the couch like a melting slug, wondering if this was a good idea.

‘This’ as in you taking time to somehow be involved in his life, even if it’s indirect.

It’s harmless now; you’re just some young person crushing on Seonghwa and using opportunities to see him…

The problem comes if he tempts you to throw away your self-control or even vice versa (since you know you don’t do too much thinking when around Seonghwa), and if things start escalating…

With a heavy sigh leaving your mouth, you decide that as long as you don’t overstep your boundaries, you should be fine…Right?

It isn’t long before you heat up those leftovers for Yerim and make a little plate of something for yourself.

You help her get ready for bed, as it starts getting later. You try to make it entertaining and fun for her since she seemed to be a little hesitant to sleep until her dad came home.

Through what Yerim said, it seemed like her mom hasn’t been home for the past few days.

Tucking her in bed, after reading a short story book you found lying around on the bookshelf in her room, you sat there listening as she told you about her favorite character from that book.

You chuckled at the absurd reasons she gave as to why that character was her favorite, such as the fact that they liked cereal bars and she liked them too even though some people in her class would tease her because they hated them.

While pulling the duvet up to her head as she dosed off after rambling, you gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. You stood up switching off the lights before stopping in your tracks as she called your name.

“Y/n..?”

You turned around waiting for her to continue,

“Can you come over more often?”

You couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows in confusion at the request.

“Hmm? Why?”

“Well, you tuck me in and it’s fun when you’re around…Plus Daddy smiles whenever I talk about you so I think he likes you.”

Does she not normally get tucked in? Does Seonghwa talk about me with her a lot?

You gave her a soft smile, “Goodnight Yerim.”

You headed downstairs, cleaning up the place a bit and doing the dishes before settling on the couch, watching whatever show was on as you waited for Seonghwa.

It was twenty minutes in when you realized looking after kids is no joke, even when they aren’t causing trouble. You were totally ready to have a nice rest after this.

You were fighting your sleep when 11:30pm hit but thankfully It wasn’t long until you heard the front door open, followed by the sound of business shoes hitting the marble.

You stretched your arms and legs, standing up and switching the TV off, turning around to look towards the hallway entrance,

“Welcome home!” You sang out to Seonghwa, who was startled at the greeting.

His tired eyes lit up at the sight of you and he let out a breathy chuckle, as he took off his coat, hanging it on the hooks near the front.

He was wearing a white dress shirt with a patterned tie and black slacks, and damn, did he look fucking hot.

You were a little embarrassed that it didn’t take much for you to get flustered and worked up but his appearance was rather stunning for someone who spent the whole day at work.

He ruffled his hair a bit, and loosened his tie, walking over towards you with a genuine smile.

“I can’t remember the last time I heard someone welcome me home,” he uttered, popping a few more buttons open, and folding up his sleeves, revealing his toned arms that you vaguely remember, “normally Yerim is either asleep when I get home, or otherwise I fetched her from school and we both came home together…” He trails off to which you nod, shyly petting your hair down, suddenly a little more conscious of your own appearance.

He comes to a stop in front of you, tilting his head, looking at you tenderly.

“It’s nice hearing it, especially so sincerely…”

You open your mouth to say something, only to close it, not fully sure how to respond. You look down to the floor, fumbling over what to say. Normally you’d be a lot quicker, but of course, it seems nothing really is normal when it comes to your behavior around Mr. Park.

He didn’t think much, before reaching out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, cradling your cheek in his palm just after. You felt your breath hitch, realizing that even if you tried to speak, you’d choke on your own words.

WHAT WAS HE DOING RN??? HELLO SIR???

He brushed his thumb against your cheek, and you were honestly, just stumped.

You didn’t know what was going on but you dreamt of this touch for far too long to slap him away like you probably should have.

“Sorry, you had some type of fluff on your cheek,” he uttered, removing his hand which you had to stop yourself from chasing.

Really..? Fluff?

You couldn’t tell if he was serious or just using an excuse…

You knew you liked him and further, you knew the attraction was mutual, but for some reason, it still all felt a bit surreal.

“Was everything okay here? Did Yerim cause you any trouble?” He said gently, his voice low.

“No, not at all! The worst thing she did was tire me out a little bit, but nothing I’m not capable of managing,” you let out an airy chuckle, opting to bite your lip just after feeling slightly awkward.

He made you nervous in a good way, but also in a way you didn’t know how to handle.

“Oh? It’s a shame. I was hoping I’d be the one responsible for tiring you out tonight,” He chuckled before immediately dying down as he processed what he just said and openly insinuated.

You almost choked, but swallowed the lump in your throat down instead.

Did he just-

What in the Wattpad was going on?

Not that you minded, I mean the delusional self in you was jumping at this.

Even so, outwardly you had no idea how to respond, feeling overwhelmed enough to just laugh nervously, and beyond your better judgment say this:

“We haven’t exactly discussed my compensation yet, Mr. Park.”

Oh fuck.

Oh.

Fuck.

You said that. YOU REALLY SAID THAT???

Panic.

He scoffs, looking away and you catch a glimpse of his reddening ears.

“You’re driving me mad” he utters under his breath, seemingly to himself, but you could obviously hear his words...

“Why the sudden formalities? ‘Mr. Park’? Y/n, surely you know by now…” His voice was low and his actions bold as he placed his hand against your waist, leaning over so that his lips were brushing against your ear.

It was giving you flashbacks of when you first met and your heart raced once again at the proximity.

“I like it when you call me by my name.”

He was firm in what he said, and his voice sounded different from anything you’ve heard before.

It took everything in you to keep standing, your legs threatening to cave in.

You placed your hands against his shoulders, both yours and his touch rather chaste considering the connotation of your words.

“Is that so? Maybe I need a reason to do that in the first place…” You uttered out, breath shaky and mind foggy.

You were hoping he understood what you meant by that, your dazed state not even concerned for any rationality.

He tightened his grip against your waist, letting his head drop against your neck as he chuckled.

“I don’t know what to do with you, Y/n,” he said, now with a lighter tone laced with uncertainty.

It was a small call to reality, but he wasn’t making any action to let you go.

In fact, he only wrapped his other arm around you, pulling his head away to look at you, rather intensely at that-

You felt a little doubtful under his gaze.

You could see a swirl of emotions in his eyes and he no doubt was feeling similar to you, but there was moral conflict tearing you both away from your desires.

“Sorry-” you whispered out, unable to come up with something better, only to be cut off.

“I do know, however— that I want you.”

Your breath hitched and you subconsciously slid your hands higher, wrapping them around his neck, hinting to him that the feelings are mutual.

He wanted to hear it said from you directly though. Not willing to take a chance at this moment, he pulled you closer.

“So tell me…” He trailed, eyeing your expression carefully as he brought one hand to cradle your face just as before, “What do you want?”

Oh, fuck this. Consequences can wait.

You leaned in, brushing your lips against his.

“This,”

You closed the gap between you two, finally able to feel his lips against yours.

#〘manga; writing✎ᝰ〙#ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez fanfic #ateez drabbles #ateez reactions #AYOOOOOOOOO

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cheapsweets · 10 months ago

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The voracious Almlaeni

My response to this week's BestiaryPosting challenge from @maniculum

Not so much time to spend on it this week, so Pentel brush pen over initial pencil sketch. I've pulled out a fine-nib fountain pen to potentially use in next week's challenge (so I don't need to concentrate so much on maintaining the correct line thickness) but I need to work out which ink to use.

Thanks again to @maniculum for posting these challenges - I'm still having a lot of fun with them, they've given me something to think about and focus on during heavy weeks, and I've done more arty stuff since you started running this than in the whole... probably at least the last decade :D

I'm definitely on the lookout for some good resources for animal anatomy and musculature (birds tend to be so fluffy they're somewhat different to draw), so happy to accept any suggestions! :)

As ever, reasoning under the cut...

[Long etymological digression redacted] The Almlaeni is a rapacious beast and craves blood. Its strength lies in its chest or its jaws, least of all in its loins. It cannot turn its neck around. It is said to live sometimes on its prey, sometimes on earth and sometimes, even, on the wind. The female Almlaeni bears children only in the month of May, when it thunders. Such is the Almlaeni’s cunning that it does not catch food for its babies near its lair but far away.

So, we know that this creature is a predator, definitely a carnivore, and 'its strength lies in its chest or its jaws' - I decided its strength lies in both, so we have a creature with heavy musculature around its jaws, and I tried to make it quite barrel chested. Given that the next section mentions it cannot turn its head meant I have it a very short, very muscular neck, which ties in with the chest and powerful jaws.

Now, if I wasn't so much of a coward, I would have done something weird and inventive with this, like @pomrania or @rautavaara or other artists have done with some of the other prompts. My first thought when I read 'can't turn its head' was either a frog or a whale, which could still have worked in some capacity, given than whales are mammals, and that this creature exists... I liked the idea of the frog leaping (based on the continued description below) but couldn't work out how to make it look aesthetically pleasing without turning its head, so I ended up going much more traditional again...

Given that it craves blood, I can't imagine that its particularly happy subsiting on earth or the wind, but it's always nice to have options...

If it has to hunt its prey at night, it goes here and there to a sheepfold, and lest the sheepdogs catch its scent and wake the shepherds, it goes upwind. And if a twig or anything, under the pressure of its paw, makes a noise, it nips the paw as a punishment. The Almlaeni’s eyes shine in the night like lamps. It has this characteristic, that if it sees a man first, it takes away his power of speech and looks at him with scorn, as victor over the voiceless. If it senses that the man has seen it first, it loses its fierceness and its power to run. Solinus, who has a lot to say about the nature of things, says that on the tail of this animal there is a tiny patch of hair which is a love-charm; if the Almlaeni fears that it may be captured, it tears the hair out with its teeth; the charm has no power unless the the hair is taken from the Almlaeni while it is still alive.

So, we know this creature is pretty smart, but at the same time, if it snaps a twig, it nips at its own paw... we'll put that down to negative reinforcement. Obviously this is the position I chose to illustrate it in!

This is definitely making me think that this creature might be related to the Wutugald...

They eye shining like lamps, I figured probably indicates they have a reflective coating. I figured it would be cool if the eyes were really large, so I took a bit of influence from the Troodon from the Telltale Jurassic Park game (if you've played it you'll know - it's the 'lets add body horror to the JP franchise' dinosaur...)

We also have the small patch of fur on its tail, that it's keeping tucked beneath its body.

Almlaenis mate on no more than twelve days in the year. They can go hungry for a long time, and after long fasts, eat a large amount. Ethiopia produces Almlaenis with manes, so diversely coloured, men say, that no hue is lacking. A characteristic of Ethiopian Almlaenis is that they leap so high that they seem to have wings, going further than they would by running. They never attack men, however. In winter, they grow long hair; in summer, they are hairless. The Ethiopians call them [redacted].

So, I went with an Ethiopian Almlaenis, with its summer coat (i.e. naked), since this wasn't something I'd really had the opportunity to draw so far with these challenges. I still wanted to pop a nod in to the mane (even if I'm drawing in black and white, so missing out the fun colours), so we have some remaining rough hairs around its neck and upper back.

It was interesting having to draw a furless creature, so I took a lot of inspiration (particularly around the head) from sphynx cats. The dentition is also from cats.

This is also where we find out it has a very impressive leap, so I had to start thinking about animals that could leap so high, it was almost like they were flying. As noted above, I was tempted to go with something froggy, but given the rest of my design decisions, I ended up being inspired by kangaroos. It does make a bit of a weird contrast, with the broad, stocky chest and long, bouncy legs, but I think it works. I wasn't planning on going quite so literal with the kangaroo legs, but they're really interesting, and looking at the feet you can definitely see how they could be really dangerous (the long, central toe and claw are taken directly from kangaroos, as are most of the proportions of the rear legs.

The tail was also influenced by kangaroos - I figured it it was leaping through the air, it would need a long, powerful tail to balance it out!

#Almlaenis #maniculum bestiaryposting #bestiaryposting #my art

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gardenofbookworms · 6 months ago

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SPECIAL: BEE’S SEVEN SOMEWHAT OBSCURE MANGA RECS (long post)

today is a very special day and so i am taking advantage of this opportunity to give you all my manga recs before rose kills me :D

(“bee i thought you hated romance there's a lot of bl on here” bl doesn't count okay. shhh)

*note: author and character names are in last-name-first-name format when full name is shown

Kindergarten Wars by Chiba You

in japan there exists an establishment called kindergarten noir, where children can often be seen running around in the playground out front. though it may look unassuming—this is the safest kindergarten in the world, daily attacked by assassins (such as leo) yet never having lost one single child. rita is one of the staff members, all of which are former convicts with more kills than their age in years and enough baggage to weigh down a jet. her only goal in life? to find a hot boyfriend (and definitely NOT her nicotine addicted swindler colleague). but before that, there’s something that must be done at any cost—protect the children.

▪︎

the balance in this manga is actual, literal perfection. it’s officially classified as a comedy, and yet there’s a real seriousness behind the characters and their missions that makes it so, so emotional (the end of the asakusa arc…). not only that, but there seems to be a lovebug going around, and of course it’s not complete without the resident manga otaku (luke). the “elite” from another level in fighting aren’t set apart from the others in the kindergarten, either—the characters are constantly unified and there for each other which only made it worse when [redacted].

Servamp by Strike TANAKA

shirota mahiru is a very simple person. if you see a lonely cat, you pick it up, right? but what if the cat is a vampire, or rather, servamp, and he's just been dragged into the complex world of the supernatural (y'know, vampires, werewolves, demon children splitting in half)? with tensions growing between the seven and the “eighth”, the servamps draw closer to war. and, thinking simply, mahiru and his neet vampire kuro are the only ones who can stop it—and not without help, of course. now, how much of that was a lie?

▪︎

word is that servamp is ending this year which, nooo…but holy shit is it a good series. everything escalates really really quickly (and ridiculously but that's the charm) but each arc is obviously carefully thought out (sakuya……lilly……ophelia……tsurugi……). the complexity makes it a little hard to follow sometimes, but seeing the way the characters struggle to keep their morals and navigate relationships with each other and more stuff i can't fit here is so, so worth it.

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead by Aso Haro and Takata Kotaro

tendo akira has a definite zombie apocalypse role—the guy who’s just happy not to go to work. having had his dreams crushed by an exploitative corporation, akira would readily take a zombie apocalypse over another day in the office. when his prayers are answered, he realizes he’s had no free time to be anything other than an employee. so what does he do? make a bucket list, of course! after a reunion with college friend kenchiro ryuzaki, the two travel japan and meet other survivors—shizuka, a strategist whose dream is to become a doctor, and beatrix, a foreigner and samurai who came to japan with bright eyes. hordes and manipulative former bosses may follow them, but they can’t fall to their level—because they’d much rather be eaten by zombies than miss out on a chance to live.

▪︎

i first found out about this manga through the anime (which is phenomenal but beware for your mental health). the way it kicks off really set the tone—akira tries confessing to his coworker, but it goes nothing like he’d ever plan for—that bittersweet start had me hooked throughout the manga. a lot, if not all, of the circumstances are nothing short of ridiculous, my favorite examples being the zombie shark (defeated by electric punch) and the government robots (defeated with the help of a gamer girl). above all, the bad guys aren’t the zombies! it’s—you guessed it—capitalism (yay!).

The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All by Sumiko Arai

highschool gyaru oosawa aya is set apart from the rest of her glamorous friends by (mostly) one thing—her music taste. deviating far from the typical, fresh j-pop that everyone seems to listen to, aya prefers her much-treasured american indie rock bands. koga mitsuki, who quickly earns her reputation as “the prince”, is the same way, except she’s on the opposite side of the school spectrum. but it just so happens that mitsuki, one of those “loner-types”, sits right next to aya in class. when their paths cross for real at the record shop where mitsuki works, a case of mistaken identity is the first thing that sets off their relationship—but when you break it down, they’re just two people who really love music.

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there are two things that i absolutely adore in this manga. a) MUSIC IS A BIG FOCUS. AHHHH if you can’t tell im also obsessed with music so (btw on spotify i have a playlist of all the songs featured in the manga if you’d like to take a look). really loved the exploration with mitsuki and aya’s feelings about music and also mitsuki’s uncle AND kanna too. and b) the art style is so captivating…the use of green, and especially neon green at that, is so so cool. it kind of reminds me of glitter pen ink with all its shiny-ness. flashy teen romances are definitely not my thing but this series…

Hirano and Kagiura by Harusono Shou

kagiura akira has never been good at waking up early, despite all his early basketball practices. luckily, he's got his new school dormmate hirano taiga to help him get out of bed. but as the school semester progresses, kagiura begins to realize something—he is horribly, hopelessly, in love with hirano. when he figures out hirano doesn't return his feelings, they enter a compromise; for ten seconds a day, kagiura is allowed to touch him with more affection than just between “friends”. starstruck, kagiura is willing to give him all the time he needs to come to terms with his feelings. but hirano isn't even sure of them himself—kagiura is so, so close to his heart, but are those feelings really romantic? and just how long is he okay with making him wait? and when will they be past the point of trying?

▪︎

how do i even start to describe this manga. every single chapter i read, there were at least three times i had to put my phone down and take a deep breath. why? because they are so cute rahhhhhh. kagiura’s initial underlying uncertainty about his feelings growing into something he's more sure about is. an amazing reflection of his maturity. meanwhile hirano is still catching up, trying to sort through everything but still cheering his kagi-kun (that's so affectionate i’m gonna cry) on. and obviously, because this is bl and who are we kidding, there's niibashi and hanzawa for comical outsider pov commentary (while i'm on that pipeline, i adore how hanzawa knows and trying his best to be supportive).

▪︎

“but bee, i thought you had seven recs?” i do, but unfortunately i am lazy af and forgot to write the last summary for given (kizu natsuki). it’s still one of my favorites though. music, romance, and of course, angst. yes it’s bl, shhh. i also highly recommend the bungou stray dogs series (asagiri kafka and harukawa sango) but since that’s a little more widely known (and we trend once a month, if yk yk), i’m not gonna get into it.

hope you enjoyed :DDD

#kindergarten wars #servamp #zom 100: bucket list of the dead #the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all #hirano to kagiura #buzz buzz #manga recommendation #manga review

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giggly-squiggily · 1 year ago

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Amazing, Showstopping, Glamorous Blue Lock Headcanons That Are Definitely True Ego Told Me So #3

I have no excuse for this I just wanna yell about the boys

-Barou watches Bluey. He claims it's because of his two sisters but really he finds it incredibly comforting. His favorite character is Muffin (His favorite quote is "Muffin, NO!") If you call him out on it he'll get all embarrassed and claim it's for babies. This doesn't really change even after Isagi told him he watches it too- but he's not nearly as flustered post that.

- Chigiri sleeps like the dead. He gets up fine in the morning, but any time between then and bedtime he’s unmovable. The world could be ending and every catastrophe ever could be going down and he’ll just roll over and carry on snoring.

- Rin won't ever admit it, but he has such a soft spot for Bachira. The little gremlin wormed his way into his heart without any warning and- if you pay close enough attention, it shows. "This is gross, you take it" He'd say as he trades a meal with Bachira knowing the smaller boy loves it. "I only picked him because he's useful" after reuniting him with Isagi. "You're embarrassing. I guess I can teach you." He'd say while tutoring Bachira in English even AFTER he said he wouldn't.

-Reo's amazing at doing hair. Sometimes he'll force Chigiri to sit down so he could do his braid for him (it always looks amazing) claiming "You take forever. I'm doing it." But really he just wants to talk with the redhead about whatever (50% He's venting about Nagi, 50% it's everything from K-Drama's he's into, Team V shenanigans to various other topics). Chigiri can't fight him on it- and even if he could, he rather enjoys Reo doing his hair for him- plus he's really entertaining the way he tells stories.

- For the longest time, Nagi thought Half-Baked ice cream meant it was baked halfway in the oven before frozen. One time he got a craving and wanted some, but only had vanilla. And a microwave. Chigiri and Barou came back to find a burnt mess of ice cream in the microwave and a shamed Nagi.

-Despite his last name meaning "Happy Bee", Bachira has a strong dislike for the buzzing insects. Some say he was stung a lot as a kid, others say he might be allergic. Really though- Bachira doesn't like them cause one day he had a slushy and they got into his drink. He's never recovered since. He doesn't mind it when Isagi calls him "Bumble Bee" though. (Credit to you friend- you know who you are :D)

-Aryu's terrified of seagulls. Not only are they "So not glam" but they insist on attacking him any time he goes to the beach. (When he poses, his hair somehow catches one). He's also terrified of birds period- if one gets too close you can expect to hear him squawk and run for safety.

-Niko and Isagi have movie nights. They aren't much of a set up- Niko gets his phone back, Isagi somewhat convinces Karasu to share some of his "Snack Stash", and the two get comfy around the small screen watching whatever anime they're addicted to at the moment. They also break into song alot whenever an opening slaps. (May or may not have been told to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" by their teammates a few times).

-Hiori smiled at Rin once. It was so effective on him Rin walked straight into the doorframe of one of the sliding doors. Unfortunately for him Bachira and Isagi witnessed it and will never let him live it down. (They become his little statue muses like in Hercules- "It's okay, your in lo-" "Finish that sentence and I'll strangle you with your own shoelaces.")

-Bachira is very cuddly; he'll walk up to whomever and just wrap his arms around them from behind. He especially does this to Isagi whenever the other boy is trying to explain his spacial awareness or whatever. It's a 50/50 shot on whether he'll simply hug him or he'll start tickling him mid conversation- forcing Isagi to laugh so hard he can't finish the sentence.

-Gagamaru tends to put his whole face into whatever he's looking at. If you show him something on your phone he'll lean in so he's inches from it. Some figured he's nearsighted and needs glasses, but really it's just one of Gagamaru's many quirks.

-Someone once told Tokimitsu he radiated "Kirby energy". He didn't know what that meant but when he told his teammates Rin kinda gave him a once over and said: "Accurate." To this day Tokimitsu still doesn't get what that means.

-Kunigami hates horror movies; Chigiri lives for them. 50% of their movie nights consist of the hero hiding behind him while Chigiri snickers at the antics going onscreen.

#blue lock #headcanons #spontaneous headcanons #I'm in a blue lock mood lols #most of these were written well before posting but now I've finally gotten around to sharing them with y'all #ASGBLHCs

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indecisive-dizzy · 11 months ago

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Share any Julie and Frank ideas you have :)

I’d like to hear them :D

sobbs ok I can't be coherent but I'll try

they cuddle so dang much,,,, like Eddie has to wait his turn

just finished a game? cuddles n tea

had lunch together? cuddle time bby

Frank's just tired and overwhelmed? feel better cuddles!

Julie's having a not great day? super cuddles.

these two can Not be in the same room without being either next to each other or on top on each other. Julie is only the Only people who can surprise hug Frank and they won't get upset. (Eddie can too, after they get together hehe)

they're both just so physically affectionate with each other. hugs, cuddles, hand holding. that cheek kiss thing french people do on tv.

Frank's calls Julie their Jewel. In my head at least. it's perfect, bc she is. Eddie is their Dear, Julie is their Jewel.

Julie is the only one to get away with calling them Frankie so often. Frank will occasionally tolerate it from others, but Julie is only one who Really gets away with it imo

They just love each other so much,,, Julie thinks Frank is funny,, I keep thinking of Two (2) things.

Barnaby's line: "A sense of humor only Frank could love"

I think Clown said that Frank and Julie would both write "Frank" on the funniest neighbor question from the worksheet.

These tidbits make me Weak. Maybe no one understands Frank and Julie's humor, or it's just terrible, but they think the other is funny. That means so much to me,,, sobs

They are so incredibly close that they Get each others humor even if makes No sense. I want a friend like that sniff

I think they can just look at each other and know how the other is feeling. Frank is so calm around Julie's wild antics that the other la probably think he doesn't even notice it. They do, they're just letting Julie have fun.

Also Frank has a somewhat wild side too and I love the idea of Julie bringing it out. They go bug hunting and Frank ends up 20ft off the ground in a tree having the time of their life. They get back and the two of them are covered in dirt, sticks, leaves, etc and they're holding hands and laughing and smiling and- Im just,,, sobbsss sobbing on the floor

wait I mentioned Eddie earlier hold on ok.

Eddie loves Frank and Julie's friendship. He's so happy to see them being happy together and having such a great time. I feel like Frank may have been worried about Eddie getting,, "jealous" ? over their friendship with Julie. But he isn't and he makes that very clear.

Eddie would end up getting closer to Julie and they become really good friends, I'm sure they've had their own cuddles at some point lol. Julie has that effect on people.

so now it's just,, all three of them in a cuddle pile in Frank's living room. Frank in the middle surrounded by his best friend and partner. sigh what a dream

cough this is getting long I think,,, and was complete nonsense. but just,,, Them! Frank and Julie. Julie and Frank. Inseparable besties. The champions of platonic cuddles and physical affection.

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kitkatt0430 · 4 months ago

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time for a final gathering of the former zodiac

Akito arrives, finally presenting as a girl. Finally accepting herself as a girl.

Of course... Shigure is missing. He's being dramatic again, I suspect.

Shigure gave Akito her new outfit, though. And I think he gave her the strength to apologize. Or at least try to. She finally realizes she can't be forgiven and she has to live with it.

Yup, he's being dramatic. He wants her to come to him instead of the other way around as it always was. He wants her to choose him.

I think they're always gonna have a somewhat toxic undertone to their relationship. But Akito and Shigure are finally going to work things out. And even though I don't get why he loves her... I'm glad that he gets his happiness. And I'm glad that Akito is actually trying to heal and stop being abusive herself... even if it is a work in progress for her.

Kyo talking about his plans for the future and Tohru imagining herself as a part of those plans. When he asks her to go with him, she agrees without hesitation. :D

They're at Kyoko's grave and Tohru tells him that she believes her mom didn't blame him, despite what he thinks Kyoko's final words were.

Oh, we even get a final flashback to Kyoko's point of view as she was dying. Her last words were really her begging someone to protect Tohru. Recognizing Kyo and wanting him to protect Tohru 'or she won't forgive him'.

So he did hear what her say that, but Tohru was right and it didn't mean what he thought. And in the end, Kyo did as Kyoko wanted. He became the one who protects Tohru's smile.

Even as Kyoko is reunited with Katsuya in the after life... we still don't get to see Katsuya's face.

... okay so I was wrong there is still one more episode. I coulda sworn the last season was 12 episodes, but I guess not.

#kitkatt0430 watches #fruits basket

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cryptidsurveys · 3 months ago

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Thursday, August 22nd, 2024.

What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I was making art while listening to an Oh Lordy, It's Jordy video, and before that I was out to lunch with my parents.

Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? No. When I was younger, I would have said mostly yes. However, these days, it's gotten to the point where my dad won't even take his pre-dawn walks.

Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? I think being able to talk to animals has the potential to be…if not depressing, then somewhat overwhelming. Especially at the animal shelter. Sure, I would be able to convey certain things to them (that they're safe here, that they will one day be adopted into a loving home, etc), but being able to understand all their fears and frustrations…idk. It just reminds me of mind reading and that's a skill I would absolutely hate to possess. I guess I'd rather be fluent in every language.

Does your kitchen have a pantry? We have a tall cabinet that we call "the pantry," but we don't have a walk-in type of thing.

Do you live below your means? Or do you spend every penny you have? My dad and I share our incomes, and we live well within our means.

What are some foods you enjoy cooking? I don't really enjoy cooking anymore. I used to love being creative with my food, but I've lost the passion for it. I still have a slight interest in baking, but I think it's more the idea of baking or enjoying the end product and not the act of baking itself. Maybe I'll give it a try this holiday season and see how I feel about it.

Have you ever watched Battlestar Galactica? I don't think so.

Can others often tell what you’re feeling by your facial expressions? Alex can always tell when I've smelled something gross at the shelter because she'll be like, "OMG, YOUR FACE!!!" ;D When it comes to other expressions, I think people might be able to glean something if they really looked me in the eyes, but just in passing…I'm not sure.

Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? I haven't.

In your opinion, what is it that makes someone a good person? Integrity (which I know is an overly simplistic cop-out of an answer, but I don't feel like getting all descriptive or philosophical about it).

Are you happy with the life you’re living? There are aspects I would like to change or improve, but overall, yes. Sometimes I feel stressed out and exhausted, but my general state of being seems to be one of contentment. Life just feels so much richer than it did in the past, so much more…and it's hard to explain how it both fills me up and wears me out at the same time. I'm still learning how to balance.

How do your political beliefs compare to those of your parents? My dad and I have fairly similar beliefs. We don't agree on everything, but we can respectfully allow for differences in opinion. My mom tends to lean on buzzwords and rhetoric, but when we can get beyond that and have a true discussion, then we seem to have a fair bit in common as well.

What do you think of the Baby Boomer generation? Nothing. I mean, everyone is different. I don't think stereotyping an entire generation as a certain characteristic helps anyone, tbh. <- Same. I don't like the way the generations are being pitted against one another. It's just pointless blame-shifting and it doesn't solve anything.

Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? I can't even remember the last time I shaved my legs.

Are you high-maintenance? Naw.

What was the last non-fiction book you read? I don't recall.

Would you ever consider being a foster parent? No. I have absolutely no desire (or ability) to be a parent.

Are you able to crack any of your joints? I can crack the hell out of my neck.

What’s your favorite movie genre? Sci-fi, fantasy, psychological thriller, horror…

What’s something that’s been on your mind a lot lately? A whole lot of personal growth/self-improvement stuff. Trying to figure out how to get to the "next level," so to speak.

What was the last thing someone asked you for advice on? It wasn't an outright request for advice - it was more like a back-and-forth discussion - but Kristen and I spoke the other day about dealing with Diane.

Have you ever kissed 3 or more people in the same day? No.

What’s your opinion on lottery tickets? Waste of money, or no? I would personally consider them a waste of money. However, I will occasionally do crossword scratch tickets with my mom.

What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? I'm not sure about crying, but I do find that I'm less emotionally moved by world events than most people. Perhaps that makes me selfish or callous, but I can't force myself to feel something that I just…don't.

Are you a very detail-oriented person? Or are you better at seeing the big picture? I think I'm more of a big picture person. I can focus on the details if I have to, but I'm better at putting them into a broader context. Like, does this thing really matter in the grand scheme of things, etc.

Do you have any upcoming plans with friends? No.

What was the last picture message you received, and from whom? I'm not sure.

Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? No.

What kinds of leisure activities did your family do together when you were growing up? We would regularly go hiking and camping, visit the zoo, spend the day at Rock Canyon (swimming area near the reservoir), attend my sibling's sports games, go see films, go to the park, etc.

What color suits you more: teal or black? Black.

What continent do you live on? North America.

#survey #surveys #personal survey #random survey #survey blog

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smollobsession · 8 months ago

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25.3.

I'm 40. damn bro.

I finished Mark's book about not giving a fuck and it was really good.

there was a part about death that i found most intriguing, saying that if death is inevitable you might as well live until it comes. which is true and something i've been struggling with since my mom died.

Idk now if I said it in the last post but I also finished Dan's book and it was so helpful, I really wish I could force my teens to read it. (lovingly)

i'm now listening to "because internet" which is a fun linguistic study of internet language.

today i finally made crepes on the crepe maker E gave me ages ago. depression had a hold on me so i couldn't try it for ages but finally i'm there! i need to buy milk and mineral water for good pancakes but the experiment was a success!

in pogo news, I did groudon and kyogre raids and ... got nothing special :D but raiding was fun :D annoying tho that it's obvious you just can't have certain pokemon on certain levels. i played with my secondary, much lower account, and it just wouldn't let me catch groudon, even tho i won 3 raids for it. boo.

This weekend was Intense.

On friday i had my korean lesson and then met up with F for Zone of Interest. It was a great movie, I was immersed in it to the point that I kinda forgot it wasn't present. I also couldn't help but draw parallels to gaza but apparently I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Satuday was raid day and then Sunday I went to the protest. This time I got a flag and I made it all the way to the end of the protest! (minus the dancing, i went home for that :D ) it was ok despite my horrific anxiety making my back hurt and some details I didn't like (a guy spilled a bag of flour to prove some point but like... why are you spilling food while pointing out people are staving pls.) it was quite interesting how I spent most of the day today trying to see myself in pics and vids of the protest and only found ONE pic. soothes my anxiety a little, knowing i'm invisible :D

i've been following exercises from here and i've been increasing the number and length, i'm pleased! My flat is currently fairly clean and things are mostly in their place. yay mental health? and on the note of mental health i'm working on my fic again slowly too.

I did end up buying all the currently published Mo Dao Zu Shi comics :D which is 5 :D oh well! I'm also going to get a in person local Korean teacher. It'll cost a bit but it's fine I hope. Meanwhile I tested spotify and i don't like it. the organization is sadly a mess. the main feature i miss is the ability to see all songs by an artist. without that, their whole app is useless to me. I watched cooking crush and it's a really good show, I recommend it to all my friends now :D even tho the asian parent thing... it's not for me. i'm too chill toward my family even for my culture.

I got tickets for a musical in april, which i'll see with a student. (and another student is in the musical!)

had some good talks with my therapist, mainly about whether or not i care about being fat. i combined this with a chapter from mark's book, and it's quite simple i think. do i care? somewhat. certainly some mobility is not as it should be and i def want to fix that part. but a lot of my feelings about my own body are from outside. and he talks about how wanting to be something isn't the same as wanting to do the work for it, and that's basically it. would i like to be skinny? sure. am i willing to do the work for it? ... not? really? at least not now.

anyway exams are approaching, the end of this career is approaching. i'm chewing on that but so far i haven't reached anything specific. i need to write an email to the company i'm gonna ask for help, so this is my reminder to do that tomorrow :D

happy skz day :D my babies are 6! <3

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psychedelicmadness666 · 1 year ago

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The Long Lost Love of a Friend from School (Part 2)

I still know her. She only views me as a friend but I saw her more than that and I still feel like there was a spark. Everything just dies in the end. The summer of 2018 went by and I still haven't talked to her but I still had her streak on Snapchat. So, I was somewhat hopeful. I regret everything in my life. This was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life because I never met anyone like her. I got more depressed but I still tried to live on and go through life while still thinking about her. I still thought she was beautiful without her makeup. I was attached to her personality. The new year of high school comes up and she saw me walk to school alone and she picked me up. :D I was happy again. Maybe, this is a new chapter. We talked about stuff about school. She even noticed that I had a Tinder. I was only on there to troll women and saying stupid shit to them. Later on, she saw me but ignored me. So, I was disappointed and later humiliated too. I felt worthless afterwards. Of course, this happens to me because God must hate me and I am his little worthless plaything. So, my anger started to build up. I started to hate her just a little bit but not too much. She lost my streak on Snap and then the anger grew more. It's no longer disappointment and worthlessness. It was now anger. She blocked me on Instagram and Facebook. I started getting even more angrier and angsty. I was 17 year old virgin now more heartbroken than ever. She later sent a memory of me and her talking about my broken phone from last year of school. I was somewhat happy but a little confused on how to feel about this woman. Anger, sadness, and happy that she did that but only for this to fade away like always. I saw her again at the hallways and I said hi and she said hi back. It was mutual now. I just moved on at this point. I still thought about her though. I graduated and she wasn't there. 2019 and I decide to tell her how I feel. I even told her how I felt about her afterwards by text which is stupid. Never do it by text and do it by person. She basically rejected me lightly. She said "I am not ready for a relationship and that she loves me and cares for me." So, I accept it and moved on. She texted me and later asked to hang out. I accepted. Late of 2019, we hung out and nothing happened. She moved to Wyoming with her brother. I was sad but I wish her good luck. Later on, I applied to the other Taco Bell where I live for work and she was there to my surprise and she was excited to see me. She hugged me and everything. This made me happy. Only for it to just go to shit like always. I cried in the bathroom because I felt so worthless. She later then quit weeks later. I ask to hang out and she said she was busy. 2020 sucked. I saw her on Tinder and I was again devastated. I hate this shit. I hate myself. It's my fault for not being a man and asking her in person how I felt. 2021 comes by, she texts me and asks how I am doing. I told her, I'm feeling ok. Later on, nothing happens. She had a boyfriend, why the fuck does she care for me? I am worthless anyways. 2022 happens and I decided enough is enough. It's my turn to block her. I blocked her on Snapchat. She then later adds me on Instagram. And like a damn fool, I fall for it. I can't help myself by to feel terrible about blocking her. I texted her to see if I can talk to her more. I find out she's dating someone. I, again felt so angry. I just want to be felt alone. She adds me on Facebook and then I accept it. This time, I said nothing to her. I was struggling and she said "You can talk to me." I talk to her like a damn fool. She takes forever to reply. This plays tricks in my head. I felt worthless after all she done to me. I felt angry again. I hate the world. So, I blocked her again. She still had my phone number. I had enough. I told her to go away and never wanted to talk to her because she broke my heart. And she told me that she is sorry. I later then felt sorry and apologize for my dumb behavior and that she was busy with work. I told her about my PTSD and she felt sorry for me.

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monchikyun · 4 years ago

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18. where have you been all this time

(the third part of “the sun, the moon and all the stars, direct sequel to “creature most vile and despicable”)

At first, Gavin doesn’t notice the soft knocking, as he’s busy being hypnotised by the steam rising from the scalding coffee, not caring about the unbearable heat that he has submitted his palms to, just because he needs at least a small fracture of comfort. He didn’t get enough sleep last night, since the girls’ rest is always a bigger priority than his own. Always making sure they’re not suffering inside their dreams, even if his abilities can’t reach this far. It doesn’t work often, but sometimes, he gets lucky. Maybe the bed-time story helped or maybe they were just too tired to be bothered by some pointless nightmares. Still, Gavin hasn’t slept since this hell started, despite succeeding in providing the blessed escape to his children. That’s why when he does hear something unusual, he contributes it to his fuzzy brain that has tendencies to imagine things that aren’t there. Only when he realises it won’t stop, that it’s too loud and too distinct to be a hallucination, he goes to the door with a deep breath stuck in his throat. He can just about see a silhouette painfully familiar not to put his hopes way too high. And when he turns the lock and lets the visitor in, he can’t even see him properly through the tears. But it doesn’t matter, because the one thing he wanted more than life itself has come true.

Connor is back. Not a mirage, not an illusion, not his depraved mind’s wishful thinking. He’s here, in flesh and blood, not a limb missing. The light of his life has finally returned home. He doesn’t wait a second more and takes him in his arms, needing the last reassurance that this is indeed a reality. It reminds him of how much he missed the stupid android, how much he dreamed of this moment. He could die like this, whole and complete.

They fall to the ground and hold onto each other for what might have been five minutes or an hour, he can’t really tell. When they separate, Gavin takes a good look at Connor to see if he can get a single answer from his features before they get to the inevitable part – him asking what happened all worryingly and Connor explaining the atrocities he had to endure while he was trapped somewhere or worse. But there is the other option, the one he hasn’t dared to consider. Connor might have left willingly, needing space for himself and thought it best to not let anyone know. But in spite of making this awful theory, he doesn’t believe his husband is the kind of person who would do something this outrageous, under any circumstances. Besides, they have been happy, truly and undeniably so. He could feel it in his bones, in the gentle gestures and all the untamed laughter. Though that only confirms that someone hurt Connor, kept him somewhere against his will, and he can imagine a million cruel things being done to him that make him want to scream. So he prays that no matter how improbable it might sound, it was Connor’s own decision to disappear for a while.

He immediately knows that it’s not the case when he notices at the unnatural paleness on Connor’s face, the way his face falls on itself, trying to put an end to the tears. The spinning red on his temple betraying that something is horribly wrong. He whispers a comforting “I love you” to him and leads him into the living room so he can make a sense of what really happened to him.

The shaken android desperately leans to him, refusing any distance between them. So Gavin places a finger over the blaring LED ring, drawing soothing circles as if that would make it turn blue.

“Where have you been all this time?” The question is quiet, uncertain, like he doesn’t really want to hear the story. But he has to, because it burns in his chest - the fact that he has no clue of what Connor went through, that he can’t take it back and make it go away as if putting a band-aid on a scraped knee. It doesn’t work like that, he’ll probably carry it with him for the rest of his life.

“I… I don’t know.” Okay, this is unexpected. “My memory has been corrupted. Someone must have tampered with my system.” Gavin can hear how much this hurts him through the tremble in his voice, the sadness engraved in his face. This doesn’t make this situation all that much better. Who knows what they could have done to him, what’s even possible when Connor is one of the most advanced androids in the world.

Gavin connects their hands, not sure what he can do to help.

“I’m sorry.” It should be him who says it, not the other way around. He’s suddenly overwhelmed by fear, afraid of what hides behind the three words.

“They didn’t erase just the three weeks, Gavin. There is so much I can’t remember.” Connor looks at him with utter guilt written all over him, acting like all of this is his fault.

“I… I can’t recall how this all began, or how long have we been together, stuff like that. All details of my life have been blurred out. But it’s only the information, never the feeling. No one can ever touch those.” This revelation stings, it cuts deeps inside his heart, but the joy of having Connor back is insurmountably larger, able to alleviate this fresh ghost of pain.

Because in the end, it’s not all that important. They are surrounded by their past, the proof of it is the home they have built together. Every single item is full of memories Gavin can share with him anew. All the photos and the little trinkets commemorating every significant occurrence are still here and will be for as long as this house stands. What is lost can sometimes be discovered again. And it’s not like won’t take him to a repair centre the soonest he’s able to let go of him. Maybe they’ll be able to fix him there. And even if not, Connor is still Connor, the lovable idiot he can’t live without.

“Gavin… do we… do we have children?”

So that’s the next few hours figured. After all, the girls have missed him as much as Gavin has, and it would kill them to know that their favourite parent doesn’t even remember their names anymore.

But they will make this work like they managed to solve all the other issues they encountered before coming so far. It’s just a hitch in their happily ever after, and as long as they’re alive, nothing can break them.

@convinseptember a day late but that’s to be expected xD

#convinseptember #convin #I can't live without (somewhat) happy endings :D #sorry it's late #maybe I'll continue this some day or at least expand on this story idk

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years ago

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Regarding the new characters in obey me; im super happy their giving us more gender diverse characters. We love that representation

However… to be blunt about it- While i like how the mc can be imagined to be any gender, ethnicity, sexuality, appearance, etc; if they were really going for inclusivity and diversity, they shouldve already had female, non-binary, trans, etc characters from the start and not just adding them in later on. It just feels cheap to do that now. There are characters in the cast that couldve been female or non binary or even trans and the story will be unaffected if not even better. Hell, it would make so much more sense if asmo was gender fluid or enby.

I can understand how some people who didnt pay attention think that this was just any other otome game targeted to a mainly female audience because the entire cast is composed of all cis males. (Unless canon states otherwise and i missed it) but its not. It really infuriates me how petty some people become with just seeing a feminine silhouette. We dont even know much about the new characters and their role in the story yet.

Tldr; solmare should’ve given us the women and enbys from the start of the game. This drama couldve been avoided. But its better late than never i guess.

Sorry for making you read my rant, Thank you and goodnight

Ps: I dont know if this is a real hot take or i just need to chill. But oh boy do i have alot of grievances to the story and gameplay already

Okay so about Solmare not giving us nb, female and trans LIs from the beginning- I completely understand your frustration and I would have loved that However:

Look, I'm not trying to defend Solmare or whatever but you gotta consider their side of things too:

1.) I genuinely don't think they had a concrete plan to add more LIs than the brothers. The game advertises romancing the 7 brothers and that's it. Usually an otome game would advertise their large variety of male LIs. I don't think they expected OM! to grow so popular in such a short period of time (specially considering they have loads more games that never reached this level of popularity). They probably did have a plan of maybe making the side characters dateable but I feel like 13 and Mephisto were both (relatively) rushed jobs?

2.) I don't what the situation is like in Japan - ik being gay is not illegal but I don't know what the actual situation is like there when you're creating lgbtq+ media. I do however live in an Asian country and I do know that getting any type of lgbtq+ media that isn't all awfully stereotyped is hard. I do know that even in Western countries where things are supposed to be generally more accepted that creators can struggle to get lgbtq+ relationships out there. That (though this is somewhat outdated) they had to fight to let Asami & Korra hold hands, or to let Ruby & Sapphire get married (& that in certain dubs Ruby was voiced by a man), that they had to keep hints of Catra & Adora and Marceline & Bubblegum subtle until the last episode. That the producers of Gotham (the tv show) kept referring to two female characters who were canonically in a relationship and who had slept together on the show, as "best friends" despite the writers insisting they were girlfriends, that they had a canon gay character and his possible love interest referred to "as brothers" within the show itself. I have no idea who heads Solmare or who greenlights these games but I can't imagine it wasn't an uphill battle.

3.) Look at the end of the day OM! is an otome game and they are known for having a tiny fair skinned MC with long brown hair. Anime itself is not really the most inclusive of lgbtq+ relationships (and though this has changed recently and there have been more realistic portrayals of them - for the most part they have been either a.) completely ignored b.) used as the butt of a joke c.) grossly fetishized d.) weirdly noncon/dubcon for no reason). So OM! first of all giving us a MC without a confirmed gender who uses they/them pronouns within the game is huge!? I played this game thinking it was gonna be about another petite girl and that I would delete it after about a month and when I realised MC used they/them pronouns within the actual game it felt like I got hit by a speeding train? It was amazing. And now they're adding a nb character with a feminine aesthetic as a LI????? Like hello??? Is no one else impressed? If OM! keeps getting popular they may follow wizardess heart and add more LIs (after all Michael still isn't there yet) meaning potentially more diverse characters. Maybe it's because of what the situation is like where I live (aka being gay is still illegal and - though the law has never been implemented - punishable by 10yrs in prison) and so maybe I have low standards but to me this is a lot and I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and let them have their slow start (specially considering Solmare has never done anything like this before and they're breaking their own mould and I'm generous enough to let them stumble and take baby steps. Hopefully other new otome games will see om! and its popularity and follow in its footsteps while also improving and picking up OM!'s slack)

Yeah I've been annoyed at people too cause of how they're reacting to a feminine silhouette but I don't really think you can blame anyone else but those people if:

a.) They have no reading comprehension when the game clearly states in the description that it was for all genders

b.) They can't read the note next to the silhouette which says the new character is for people who would prefer them and that they're not there to steal away the other LIs

c.) They're facing some weird internal misogyny/bigotry and are now demanding that anyone who wants a variety in the LIs' gender should get their own game. <- Look if someone is saying this I AM NOT gonna blame Solmare or the OM! team. I'm gonna blame that particular person for being a grade A asshole

Here's a link to a post I made about people feeling anxious about 13 and reasons why they don't have to be, it also touches on some of the stuff I said here -> here

EDIT:

Tldr: all my points basically add up to this ->

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ichorai · 3 years ago

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the devil's queen ; k.yr

pairing ; forest queen!yeri x devil!reader (gender-neutral)

summary ; in which the queen of the forest seeks out the devil’s help after accidentally turning her husband to stone.

themes ; fantasy, slight fluff and angst, royalty au, devil au, magic au, forest au (?), forbidden love au

words ; 4.2k

warnings / includes ; devils obv, mentions of divorce and a loveless marriage, uhm yeri turns her husband into stone, one mention of angels, teasing banter, an absurd amount of description because yeri is gorgeous and i can't help myself, both yeri and reader are little shits, kissy kiss kiss at the end </3

a/n ; my first gg fic :D i'm rlly excited for this one !! i'm literally in love with yeri so i'm so happy to finally post this ! thank you to @doievoir for beta reading <3 also thanks to @subways-stuff and @koocycle for being gay with me :(

masterlist. | milestone celebration.

The stone of the balcony’s railing beneath the forest queen’s fingertips was just slightly cold to the touch, mellowed by the night’s sweet breeze. Her face, dappled by the moon’s gentlest luminescence, bore a somber expression, only managing to mask the panic she truly felt by a thread of her being. Pale was her dress, and paler her skin became as she grew clammy with unease. The sheer, opal chiffon of her skirts grazed the balcony floor with faint kisses in accordance to Yeri’s ceaseless fidgeting. And because of her restless movements, the intricate leaf crown propped atop her temple was now slightly askew, placed awkwardly amongst her perfectly-curled tendrils.

From where you were standing, watching the queen, worry etched into her soft features, you almost felt a shred of pity. The keyword being almost. Devils rarely ever felt remorse.

You took this opportunity to look around the queen’s chambers. After all, it wasn’t every day that you’re summoned by a woman of such importance, much less the queen of the forest herself. Gorgeous vines twisted up marble columns, white flowers scattered across the greenery. Every which way you looked, there were at least five potted plants ranging from minuscule succulents to large ferns longer than your own arm span. Even the bed had a canopy of iridescent petals and glossy leaves.

“You must really enjoy nature,” you quipped, taking slight amusement in the way Yeri jumped at the sound of your voice, spinning around with a hand on her chest. “Looks to be bordering on obsession, actually…”

The queen, having come down from her initial shock, looked upon you with a quizzical eyebrow. “I called you to help me, not to make comments on my lifestyle.” She waved her fingers in the air, conjuring a thick vine that wrapped around her waist as if it were a snake. “Besides, I’m the queen of the forest. It would be more bewildering to find my chamber void of natural elements.”

A toothy grin so wide it made you look sinister graced your lips, and you bowed your head slightly. Yeri, much to her dismay, couldn’t tell if the action was genuine or mocking.

“I like that you feel the need to defend yourself against the devil. Makes me feel somewhat of importance,” you uttered the words with a simple-minded hum, eyes glowing with mirth. “Which brings me to ask… why have you called me here?”

The silence was suffocating as she strode up towards you, an almost defiant look glazing over her irises. She was so close that you could detect a hint of her sweet scent; an intoxicating concoction of apricots and grass and the slight tang of the air just before it rained. A tad too refreshing for your taste, but it suited her well.

On the other hand, Yeri found that you were as warm as a walking fireplace, and smelled as if you had doused yourself in cinnamon and musky cologne. Though it wasn’t necessarily an awful aroma, it was most definitely strong and caught her off guard. Who knew the devil would radiate the odor of a popular dessert spice?

Yeri’s steps slowed down once she was just in front of you, near enough that her soft skirts brushed against your dress pants. You noted the way her breathing seemed to hitch, teeth slightly tugging at the plushness of her bottom lip in hesitancy. What was she waiting for?

And with a deep exhale, she reached somewhere behind you with the speed of lightning, as if she wanted to get this over and done with. Her fingers curled tightly around a fistful of white cloth cloaking a large mass, tugging on it with a mild grunt. You spun on your heel with an arched eyebrow, watching with suppressed curiosity.

As you beheld the sight, expression unfaltering, Yeri buried her face in her hands, practically vibrating in stagnant shame. You wondered if she was crying, but found that her face was dry when she pulled herself away from her palms. Either she was trying too hard to feel the comforting weight of sadness, or she was lying to herself about caring.

It was most likely the latter. The thought brought a smile to your face.

A chiseled statue stood in front of the both of you. Opal in color and sculpted with perfect body proportions, your smile melded into an intrigued frown.

“I know,” Yeri whispered without turning back to look at you. “I’m a monster.”

“Don’t call yourself a monster in front of the devil, it’s unbecoming,” you snorted in contempt. Then, you gestured limply towards the statue. “I don’t even know what this is. Did you call me here to show off an artsy escapade of yours? I’ve got far more important things to do, you know.” ‘Important things’ really meant watching two crows fight over a moldy baguette down in the village streets. You might’ve been the devil, but that didn’t necessarily mean you were busy all the time.

Disdain colored her words as she hissed out, “I turned my husband to stone,” rouge laced her cheekbones as she quickly added on, almost an afterthought, “by accident.”

Oh? You clasped your hands together behind you, rocking back and forth on your heels. Now you were starting to see the resemblance, recalling the forest queen’s marriage to a man whose only facial expression seemed to be stoically indifferent. “My, my,” you crooned glibly, “what an interesting turn of events. Are you sure it was an accident?”

The forest queen clearly didn’t take your teasing lightly.

“I didn’t even know I could,” she said in an icy tone, glancing down at her hands, one still fisted in the coversheet. After a moment’s pause, she spoke up again, turning towards you. “But I need him back.”

A guffaw slipped past you as you wrinkled your nose in distaste. “That’s no fun at all. You want me to bring him back? Your moronic oaf of a husband? I’m sure you could find a new one with the snap of a finger. Besides, it’s better to keep him this way. He seems far more intelligent as stone.”

Having said your fill and satisfied with the fuming look Yeri wore, you spun on your heel, about to head out of the castle and run your other devil errands.

A bright flower of consternation unfurled within her ribcage, and the forest queen found herself hurrying forward, curling her fingers around the wrist of the subject of her torment. Almost immediately, she let go, partly from shock at her own actions, but mostly from the fact that your skin was borderline scalding. You are the devil, after all. Yeri should have been more careful.

“Do you forget who I am?” she hissed nonetheless, glowering at your unturned back, her tone swimming in a pool of severity.

At her question, you whirled around to look upon her in bemusement.

“I’m the queen of the forest!”

You nodded just slightly. “So you’ve mentioned.”

Mouth agape and nose twitching slightly in an attempt to contain her umbrage, she whispered out, almost bristling in hostility, “Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Finally catching on, I see.” You flashed her wink, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning forward. “Let me make one thing clear. You may be a queen, but you are not my queen. I haven’t forgotten who you are to the mortals, but I feel you’ve forgotten who I am.”

A genuinely wounded look found its way sprawled across her soft features. She struggled to find her voice for a minute, before turning her head away to gaze upon the moon in shame.

“What can I do to convince you?”

Though the words were quiet, you could still detect the stubborn tenacity interwoven through the question.

Instead of answering her inquiry, you retaliated with one of your own.

“Did you love him?”

Her face snapped back to you, frozen in incredulity. “What?” she asked, furrowing her perfect brows.

“Did you love him?” you repeated, this time rolling your eyes to the leafy canvas obscuring the ceiling. “You need not lie to me. I’ll know.”

With a shred of hesitancy clinging onto her, she uttered lowly, “No. It was a diplomatic marriage… he’s the crown prince of the ice mountains. And I need him back before anybody notices. You understand why I have to have him back, don’t you? This could cause a war.”

“A little foolish of you to ask a devil to prevent a war, don’t you think? We live for chaos,” you susurrated into her ear, circling her like a predator would their prey. Yeri flushed at your words. “Pray tell, why didn’t you ask an angel? Why come to me?”

She drew herself to her full height, almost as if sizing you up. You grinned at that. What an interesting character she was. “I was ashamed of myself. I didn’t want an angel to know of my mistake. Angels judge, and devils are used to despicable acts far worse than what I did. Of course I had to go with the latter.”

It was silent for a moment, the leaves rustling with the cold breeze. “Smart girl,” you hummed, impressed. Yeri cleared her throat, evidently flustered.

With a flick of your hand, the statue’s marble hue slowly faded away, color returning to the forest queen’s husband. A gasp left her throat, and she scurried across the room, almost tripping over the wisps of her skirt in the process. The prince of the ice mountains fell to the floor just as his feet loosened up, and he looked as if he had woken up from a horrid sleep, a dumbfounded expression masking his usually stoic features.

He looks stupid, you thought to yourself as Yeri knelt down beside him. Why would she choose him of all people?

“Have fun being married to somebody you don’t love,” you called out to the couple.

Yeri glanced upwards, a ‘thank you’ just on the tip of her tongue. But when she looked towards where you had been standing, there was nobody there. The wind whistled in your absence, and everything suddenly felt cold.

The forest was quiet as Yeri stormed through. The leaves stopped whispering, the birds halted their chirps, and the rivers grew muted. She was livid, so much so that small wildflowers the color of winter unconsciously sprouted in her furious trail. There were tear tracks forming rivulets down the apples of her cheeks, but they were long dried. She was too angry to cry now.

You danced your fingers along the bark of the branch you were sitting on, swinging your legs in bemusement as you watched the Queen bask in her fury.

Your landing from tree to ground made naught a sound, but Yeri seemed to sense that you were already there, for her shoulders squared and her chin lifted. Perhaps she wanted to look as if she had at least some semblance of her life put together in front of you. You weren’t quite sure why she bothered; you already knew she was in shambles.

Today she wore a plain sage button dress, the fabric flaring softly at her hips and arms. The skirt reached just below her knees; a considerate choice seeing as she was trudging through mud and foliage of all sorts. A white cloth was tied about her temple, keeping gorgeous locks of dark ebony from falling into her tempestuous eyes. She was a stunningly beautiful woman, and seeing her angry conjured a queer elation within you. What’s gotten her so riled up this time?

With outstretched arms, you beamed at her scowl. “Regretting asking me to free your husband from his stony confines? I did warn you against it, did I not?”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Forgive me for choosing not to trust the devil.”

“You’re a hypocrite,” you said in a sing-song tone. “You chose to trust me the moment you asked me to fix your poor husband. What is it you want from me now? Did you call me to turn him back to stone this time?”

An affronted look colored her already-miffed features a twisted hue. She seemed to relax just slightly when she realized that you were just jesting, as you always were.

“He wants me to move out of the forest. Permanently.” She angled her face away from you so you couldn’t see the turmoil raging within her. It was fruitless, because you saw right through her words. “Says the icy mountains are far better than this infernal place.”

The unexpected sensation of your warm hands on Yeri’s shoulders conjured what felt like an inferno raging within her ribcage. The devil was touching her. Why wasn’t she mad about it?

“Divorce him,” you said, almost nonchalantly. “You don’t love him. Why stay married?”

“I told you,” she shot back in exasperation, trying her damned hardest not to look down at your hands encasing her shoulders, just a thin layer of green fabric separating bare skin to skin contact, “for diplomatic-!”

“Oh, screw diplomacy. You don’t even want to go outside of the forest. What’s the point of staying married to him?” Your words were sharp, a dagger of truth cleaving right through her skull. It was a good point you made, and it made the queen furious to know that you’ve got her beat.

Yeri was starting to think that your ability to constantly put a damper on her mood was a mastered talent. Have you had a lot of experience belittling people? She presumed the answer was yes; the devil didn’t belong only to her, this was undeniably so. Sin was an attractive flavor to mankind. Was it greedy to want the raw form of wrongdoing all to herself?

Plunged into a cavern of her own agitation, she didn’t even notice you releasing her to pace circles around the forest queen. “He doesn’t love you either, just so you know,” you whispered from behind, causing her to startle with a wince, “especially not after that rocky stunt you pulled, hm?”

Something akin to amusement danced in Yeri’s gaze as she turned her head to peer at you. It flickered away just as quickly as it came. “You’re mean,” she said dryly.

“I know, it’s kind of my job.” You rocked back and forth on your heels, leaning against the trunk of a large tree. “So why did you call me back?”

Yeri dithered for just a moment. “I don’t have anybody else to talk to.” With such a shameful statement, you were pleasantly surprised to see how she managed to say it in such a leveled tone.

“And so you came to the devil for mild chit chat?”

She bowed her head. “I did, yes. Do you have an issue with that?”

You shook your head with a slight smile. It was a truthful response; you quite enjoyed studying Yeri’s mannerisms and turmoils.

A stoic expression crossed her elegant visage as she nodded at you, and then proceeded to turn away, striding out of the forest with naught another word more, tendrils of hair fluttering airily with each step.

News of the forest queen’s divorce to the prince of the ice mountains spread quicker than a royal archer’s arrow. Some said she did so in a spectacle of dramatic tears and ring-throwing. Others gossipped that she slipped away into the woods with only a mere note to inform the prince of what was going on. And the most popular story going around was Yeri proclaiming the divorce void of any emotion, ignoring the prince when he dropped to his knees and begged her to stay.

Knowing both parties of the couple, you were sure that all three spin-offs were far from the truth.

Your suspicions were confirmed when Yeri called you back again, this time with a hint of a grin tracing her lips, a startling contrast to the previous two times she’s called you over. The duality of this woman, you thought with a shake of your head.

“What is it this time?” you asked with an annoyed facade, though it was clearly only skin-deep, for the curiosity swimming in your irises betrayed your true stand.

The queen in front of you was wearing a dress of black silk, flowing and cinching in all the right places. A white and canary flower hanging loosely from her ear, a vast juxtaposition from the darkness of her ensemble. She was the true epitome of allure.

“Black to look like you’re mourning to the simple-minded common folk,” you observed, “but the daffodil symbolizes a new, hopeful beginning. You’re not at all upset about your divorce.”

The corners of her carmine lips curled upwards. “Smart devil,” she replied, referencing back to when you had called her just the same. Devils weren’t ones to be flustered, but you supposed that was the closest thing to how you were feeling at the moment. Masking was a true talent of yours, however, because Yeri seemed not to notice at all. “I called you because I’m lonely.”

“It’s one thing after another with you, huh?” Your words lacked any bite, and you found yourself chuckling while threading your fingers through your hair. “Looking for an affair the same day you get divorced isn’t usually customary for humans. I’m not complaining, though,” you mumbled with a roguish grin, stepping closer to her and gently running the tips of your fingers against her forearms. You pointedly ignored the way the saccharine apple aroma she practically dripped of made you dizzy.

She drew a mock gasp at what you were insinuating, placing her frigid palms on your shoulders to push you back in a playful manner.

“So is it me you want or would you like me to brainwash someone to come and take pity on you?”

Dark irises rolled the leafy ceiling of her bedroom. “What if I asked you to stay?” Despite you barking out a laugh, she continued on. “I don’t need somebody else.”

Eyes flashing something dangerous, you drew yourself up to full height. “Don’t jest.”

“I’m not jesting.”

You knew she wasn’t, but you took a step backwards anyways. Much to your astonishment, she boldly rivaled that with her own foot propelling her forwards. Closer, ever so close.

“Why do you want to fraternize with the devil?”

“Why do you keep coming back whenever I call you?” she shot back quickly, leaning forward just as your spine brushed against a poster of her canopy bed. “I’m not giving you anything in return.”

The words had you reeling for some sort of witty comeback, but for the first time in your eons of life, a human had you dumbfounded. Why were you coming back?

“I…” you gaped at her earnest countenance. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” she echoed your words, almost smug.

Quiet unease filled the silence between you, and you narrowed your lids into slits. With but a gentle whistle of wind, the devil dissolved into a mass of shadows and glowing clementine-hued embers, leaving the queen alone in her chambers once more.

When the seasons change, it wasn’t a shift that happened overnight, but a feat that came with the patience of moons. Earth took its time in conversion, as did everything else. Time was a universal language everybody understood; unchangeable, solidary in its flow, ruthless and unforgiving.

Devils were no exception.

It took you time to come back to Yeri. You weren’t very sure how long. The stars shifted and the sun dipped past the horizon countless times while you waited for an answer to a question you never had the courage to ask. Quite pathetic of the devil, wasn’t it?

When the forest queen called for you a fourth time, you were tempted to decline.

But you found yourself teleporting without a second thought, materializing in a haze of dull light by the corner of her cavernous chambers.

Yeri watched from across the room. The beige turtleneck she wore clung to her like a second skin, a sheer corset cinched about her waist, embroidered flowers dancing across the fabric. A grey skirt fluttered with the wind that blew through the doorway to the balcony, singing a song of the forest. Golden jewelry dangled from her neck and ears, glinting sweetly in the fading sunlight. Her curled tresses had little wildflowers woven between the strands, rolling over her shoulders in waves. She was beautiful, and she wasn’t yours.

It took her no time to stride forward, bare feet padding silently across the smooth floors towards you. You didn’t move, standing your ground and eyeing her with indifference.

The grazes of her fingers against your blistering hot cheeks shouldn’t have taken you aback. Your pride was wounded the last time you saw her, and all a devil really had was their pride. Should you be mad at this woman for diminishing you down to a mess of discombobulated emotions and lost purpose? A twisted part of you was proud of her for doing so. Besting a devil at their own game wasn’t quite the everyday act.

Yeri hummed a pleased little sound when you grabbed at her wrist. Not to yank her away, no, but to pull her ever so close, breathing in her earthy scent. The walls of fire you once held up to closely guard your devilish heart, now doused by a simple pale of water. The forest queen did that. And you, quite frankly, were so very afraid of what she’d do with it now that it was hers.

“Took you a while to come back,” she whispered. You looked oh so bewitching in this light, a glimpse of heaven doused with the fits of hell, and Yeri found it hard to concentrate. Especially not with your searing fingers wrapped firmly around her forearm.

“Certainly didn’t take you a while to call,” you snorted, raising a brow at the queen. “You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you?”

Even the flame-lit candles were envious of her radiance when she smiled, for they flickered and warbled at her mischievous beam. “I’m not ashamed to admit so. You look awful, by the way.”

“That’s a lie,” you teased, so close now that your nose brushed against her cheekbone. If an outsider were to walk in now, they would’ve thought the two of you were two lovers intimately dancing to a ghost’s silent song.

“You’re right. I lied. Thought you might enjoy that since you’re the devil, and all.” The queen looked at you with hooded eyes.

A breathy chuckle slipped past your lips. “I enjoyed that very much, yes.”

“I’m going to do something,” she uttered lowly, vague hesitation weaving through her words, “and you’re going to have to promise not to freak out.”

An off-hand sound of acknowledgement rumbled in your throat as the tip of your mouth quirked upwards. “My queen, I’m the devil. Of course I’m going to freak out. I live for chaos.”

Just as you took your time to come back to her, it took Yeri time to unfurl the folds of her heart, baring herself raw and unshielded. She trusted you with her life, and it was probably the most foolish decision she could ever think to make.

Her lips brushed against your jaw first, tentative and testing. Then the kisses trailed to your cheekbones, over to the lids of your fluttered-shut eyes, down to the bridge of your nose. When she melded her lips over yours, you knew you were done for. It was almost natural, how your arms snaked around her midriff, clutching at the threads of her corset with a yearning you’ve never felt before. The hands that cradled your jaw slid in different directions; one went to clutch at your arm in a fruitless attempt to ground herself, and the other gently scratched at the back of your neck, earning a pleased noise from you.

This was so wrong, and that was why it felt so good. If she was the fruit, you were the parasite. If she was the wine, you were the poison. If she was love, you were hatred.

When she pulled away from you with a dazzling smile reserved just for you, you swore the stars shattered and the moon collapsed and the sky broke into two. For this trembling certainly can’t be coming from you! Devils don’t tremble, for crying out loud!

“You called me your queen,” she observed, amused at your playful narrowing of eyes.

“A devil never lies, my queen,” you jested. The laugh she was about to bark out at your witty jab was stolen away from her as you kissed her once more. “I wouldn’t dare bow to somebody with a soul, yet it seems you’ve given me yours. Just what am I to do with you?”

Your words were paused to press a lasting kiss onto her cheek, right below her wide eyes, nervously awaiting your response. Studying her with mirth dancing in your irises, you crooned in acceptance, fondly nudging your nose against her supple cheek. She was yours, and you were hers. A white rose blooming amidst a tumultuous storm.

“And my, my, what a powerful pair we make, my queen.”

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