#I can't be 40 and untouched I just can't do it

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[holdmytesseract]

Frozen Hearts?

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Request: "Hi um..this is my first time asking and I don't know if your taking requests but I was wondering if you could do a Daryl and the reader get into a heated argument about how the reader went missing for a couple of days while on a run and Daryl goes after them but can't find them so he thinks that the same thing happened to them like the same thing happened to Sophia (if that makes any sense?) And after a couple days after Daryl lits a building on fire for some reason? And reader comes stumbling out of the building and Daryl sees that and the listener is just trying to get away from the fire and Daryl just grabs them and drags them away. Then he throws them on the ground and starts to yell at them and the listener starts to yell back and you could choose the rest :D Thank you!! ^^" - Requested by a nonny! 😄

Summary: You get lost on a run, due to a herd of walkers overrunning the small town you and your group went to. Daryl spends days outside, searching for you. When he does find you, it comes to a heated argument…

Warnings: the usual TWD stuff - walkers, fire, injuries, angst, fluff

Set in Season 9!

Word Count: 2,9k

a/n: Ahhhh, I love thiiis! Hope you like it as well, nonny! 🥰 Thanks for requesting! 😁

Quick note: I know, it's unlikely for wood to burn, when there's snow outside and so on, but ahhh, it just fit so well... Sorry, I hope you guys don't mind!

Tagging: @lokisgoodgirl (Tell me, if I should stop tagging you in my Daryl fics, boo! I promise, I won't be mad! x) @in-this-minute @thefemininemystiquee @hotgirlsshareaccounts @azanoni

If you want to be added to my Daryl taglist, please let me know! 😊

MASTERLIST

The wind howled around the houses of Alexandria. It was going to be a few hard months, everyone could tell. There wasn't much time left before the start of the winter. About one or two weeks - according to Eugene. So, the goal was to get as much supplies as somehow possible, in order to get everyone through those cold months ahead. Everybody helped as best as possible - including you. Together with a few other citizens from Alexandria, you went on a run to gather some more medical stuff. There was a small town - about a day ride away from the community. Daryl had found it on a hunt a few weeks ago. The town was in the forest, rather hidden, so you hoped it was most widely untouched.

Leading a group of three people, you made your way to the said town in the planned time slot. It took you almost exactly 24 hours. Together, you had searched for a safe place to stay the night. Everything went smoothly. Even the break in of the abandoned doctor's office. But once you all had made it out alive and well, everything went south on a sudden. Seemingly out of nowhere, a big herd of walkers - probably about 30 or 40 literally overran the town. There were too many of them and too less of you to fight them off, and in between all the panic and trouble, you got separated from the group...

Daryl didn't come often to Alexandria these days. He spent the most time out in the woods, still searching for Rick and trying to somehow get over his grief. It wasn't that easy, though. Alexandria just reminded him even more of his lost brother, so he didn't turn up a lot. But when he paid the community a visit, then because of one reason... You. You two knew each other since the prison and grew incredibly close over the time and all the shitty, horrible things you experienced together with your family.

This time he walked through the steel gates of Alexandria, it was the same reason as always... You.

The archer greeted everyone he saw on his way, until he reached your small, cosy house. Just as he wanted to knock at the door, his actions got interrupted by a voice behind him. "She isn't here, Daryl." Michonne. Word had spread fast, that the archer was back in the community. He spun around to face his friend. "What ya mean, she ain't here?" Michonne took a deep breath and stepped closer, pulling the winter coat she wore ever tighter. It was freezing. "Y/N went out on a run three days ago. Things went south. A large herd of walkers overran the small town you found and-" Daryl felt how his heart beat increased, pumping more blood through his veins. "She dead?" He asked dryly, tears already starting to build up in his eyes. Daryl lost his brother... He couldn't lose you, too. But to his sheer relief, shook Michonne her head. "No... Just missing. We hope she isn't dead, but... We don't know. Two people of her group came back and told us." "Did you search for 'er?" The leader of Alexandria squeezed her eyes shut and began to slowly shake her head. "We wanted, but like you see, it already started to snow. Eugene's weather forecast wasn't exactly correct. A snow storm is coming - and we both know it'd be too dangerous to go out there now. I'm sorry." Daryl clenched his teeth, felt how anger started to flood his system. Snow storm or not. It was no excuse to just leave you out there alone with dozens of walkers and other threats. "For you." Daryl simply said, before he rushed past Michonne. "Daryl! You can't go out there now! Especially not alone!" He adjusted his poncho and tapped the side of his right thigh to let Dog know he should follow him - which the dog immediately did out course. "You can't stop me! I ain't sittin' here around 'n lettin' Y/N out there alone, jus' because of a little bit snow." Michonne tried to argue with the archer, but it was no use of course. Daryl didn't listen to another word his friend said, slung his crossbow back over his shoulder and marched straight for the gates. "Come on, Dog." Dog barked at the call of his name and quickly followed his master. Michonne followed the pair as well, still trying to stop her friend. "Daryl!" He didn't listen, of course. Once Daryl Dixon was determined to do something, there was no stopping him. Before the leader of Alexandria was able to catch up with the archer, the heavy metal doors got already closed shut behind him.

Daryl searched for you. Day after day after day. His first destination had been of course the small town you went to on the run. There had been still quite a few walkers - some of them on the verge of freezing to the ground. Daryl quickly got rid of them and searched together with Dog every nook and cranny of the town. "Y/N?!" The small school. Empty. "Y/N?!" The doctor's office. Empty. "Y/N?!" The supermarket. Empty. He searched everywhere, even at the gas station, but he found nothing besides a few other walkers. Usually, the archer had no problem in finding people. He was a tracker, it was his forte, but the horrible weather conditions and the constant snow fall made the situation worse. Together with the constant wind, erasing all traces, it was almost impossible. But Daryl wouldn't be Daryl, if he gave up just yet, so he continued to look for you for another few days, scoured the area around the town for you - but it was no use. He just couldn't find you. It bothered Daryl. More than he was ready to admit. The fact that you were still missing unlocked something deep inside him. Not just fear, no... Awful flashbacks from the beginning. The dreadful day little Sophia went missing. How he and the others - but especially he searched for days - almost weeks, but couldn't find her. He couldn't find the girl. Daryl failed. And because of that, they lost Sophia. The archer would never forget the moment she walked out of that damn barn, hissing and snarling - turned into a walker. He would never forget how Carol broke down, crying. Or how Rick shot her in the head in front of everybody. What if history was repeating itself? What if that was exactly what happened to you as well? Gods, he could never forgive himself if that was the case. Daryl just had to find you.

Another day passed. Over a week and you were still missing. The only good thing was, that the harsh snow storm had stopped. Now it was just bitterly cold outside. Daryl's plan of searching led him even further away from Alexandria.

He and Dog had everything under control, scoured profoundly the area - until the archer found himself in a very unpleasant situation... A large herd of walkers surprised him, caused him and Dog to run for their lives. The archer didn't know how this could happen. They just came out of nowhere. While he tried to get away from the hungry, snarling threat behind him, he tried to think of a plan to get rid of them. Fate seemed to be good to him for once. A small, wooden hut came in sight, as he quickly walked - running was for a longer period not possible, due to the snow. Panting, he searched in his pockets for matchsticks. This could work, he thought. No... It had to work. Fighting them was no option. Taking on twenty plus walkers alone could be difficult. And he couldn't run away forever as well. It would drain his energy - and he hadn't exactly that much left anyways. Setting this hut on fire was probably his only chance. Daryl just hoped, that the wood wasn't too wet from the snow. He had to try it, hadn't he? So, he marched as fast as possible up to the hut.

 After a few desperate tries of getting the old wood to burn and the threatening snarling coming closer and closer, he finally made it. The wood caught fire. Daryl rounded the small hut to bring himself and Dog into safety, watching the fire spreading quickly. Soon, it would go up in flames. Daryl was relieved that his plan worked out - until he saw the back door of the hut bursting open. Someone stumbled out of the hut, coughing. The archer narrowed his eyes, only to recognise that it was... His eyes immediately widened again. You... It was you! Daryl literally jumped up from his hiding spot, "Stay, Dog." and ran over to you. "Y/N!"

You were still coughing heavily as you tried to get away from the fire. You tried to run, but it was impossible, like the searing pain in your leg reminded you immediately. A painful hiss escaped your lips. You looked down, examined the gaping wound on your thigh again. It was bleeding - again. You somehow made it to slice open your thigh as you tried to escape from the walkers, back in that small town. "Y/N!" You lifted immediately your head at the call of your name - and saw a figure running towards you. You couldn't believe your eyes. Was this...? Could it be? "Daryl?!" You cried out, hissing in pain again. He reached you a few moments later, holding onto your shoulders. "Y/N?! Are ya alright?" You nodded with tears in your eyes. Gods, you were so happy to see him. "Y-Yeah, just... Hurt my leg..." Daryl quickly gazed down to take a look at the wound, but got distracted by the herd of walkers getting closer and closer, reminding him of the threat, which was on its way to the burning hut. "C'mon. We gotta get away from 'ere." The archer wrapped your arm around his shoulder and his arm around your waist to steady you and help you walk.

Of course, was Daryl happy that he had found you, but the bottled up feelings and fears of losing you just like he lost Sophia, caused his blood to boil. It was only a matter of time, until he was going to burst - something you couldn't know. Once he had brought you into safety, he let go of you - literally pushing you away from him, his feelings taking over and resulting in you, stumbling backwards and falling to the snowy ground, because of your injured leg. "Daryl, what-" You wanted to ask, but he didn't let you. "Goddamnit, Y/N! What were ya thinkin'?!" He yelled. You looked up at him confused. What was that now about? You questioned yourself. Why was he suddenly yelling? The sudden off behaviour of your friend turned your mood sour as well. "What the hell, Daryl? Why are you yelling at me? What's your problem?" Daryl scoffed. "What my problem is?!" He looked around, as if trying to somehow compose himself - without success. "You are my problem, woman! Why did ya go on that damn run, alone?!" Now it was your time to scoff. "I wasn't alone! I had a team!" "Ya call those three Savior pricks a team? For god's sake, Y/N... That ain't a team! They left ya alone out there, saved their own asses and went back to Alexandria! Why didn't you take Aaron with ya? Or Rosita? Or me?" You swallowed hard at his words. Did they really do that? Did they really give up on you? "Ya could've died! Bit or eaten by a walker - or worse! What if the Whisperers would've found ya?! Ya could've been killed!" "Right, Dixon! Could have! But I didn't!" You stood up from the cold ground. Your leg protested against this, but you didn't care, ignored the pain and just clenched your jaw. "I can look after myself!" You turned on your heels, ready to walk away. "I don't need a watchdog - and I certainly don't need you!" Ouch. Those words cut deep. It was an invisible punch to the gut. Daryl was like petrified for a moment, as he watched you hobble away, further into the woods. He didn't know, that you regretted the thing you said immediately, but you were too angry to take it back. The archer swallowed hard, now angry at himself for letting his bottled-up feelings take over. Did you really mean that? You didn't need him? This heated argument made Daryl realise two things. One: He cared about you - a lot. And two: No matter if you didn't need him. He needed you.

Afraid, that he might have lost you for real now, he quickly ran after you, with Dog close behind. "Y/N! Y/N! Wait!" You heard him calling for you, but didn't even think about stopping. "Please!" But Daryl was quicker on foot than you were and not injured, so he quickly caught up on you. "Y/N, please! 'M sorry!" He gently grabbed your arm to turn you around. "Oh now you're sorry?!" You yelled at him. "You almost killed me by burning this damn hut down and then you just yelled at me without a reason and now you're sorry?!" Daryl hung his head, long, brown strands of his curls falling into his face. "'M sorry..." He repeated, causing you to just scoff, before you turned around and began to walk away once again. That was the moment Daryl realised, that it was probably time to open up to you. To let the true feelings speak. Not his anger.

"I-I jus' yelled at ya, 'cause..." He sighed. "'Cause I was worried sick. Was almost shittin' myself when Michonne told me that ya didn't come back from the run... That the others lost ya... I went out, searchin' for ya, day after day. I was so afraid of losin' ya... So afraid of failin' to find ya - jus' like I failed finding Sophia." You stopped abruptly in your tracks at his words and felt your heart aching at his words. "I yelled at ya, 'cause I care 'bout ya, Y/N... A lot... I couldn't stand losin' ya. I-I need ya. Dunno what to do with myself if ya would be dead." You expected a lot for him to say - but certainly not that. His words literally left you breathless, as he opened up his heart for you.

Without hesitation, you turned to face him, smiling softly. "Daryl Dixon..." You started, shaking your head. "You never fail to surprise me." Daryl looked at you, stunned. "I jus' poured out ma heart to ya - and you... smile?" "Uh, um, yes, because now I know that the feeling is mutual." He furrowed his brows. "M-Mutual?" You nodded, stepping closer to him, until you could place your hands on his grey poncho clad chest. All the anger suddenly vanished; thrown out of the window. Daryl flinched a bit at your sudden touch, didn't see it coming. "I care about you, too, Daryl. So much that it often keeps me awake at night, when you are out there alone to search for Rick or hunt. I liked you from the very beginning. From the day you and the others saved us from Woodbury and brought us to the prison." You smiled even wider, rubbed your hands affectionately over his chest. "Okay, admittedly, I was a bit scared of you at first, 'cause you were quite a bit intimidating, but... I-I guess with time turned intimidation into admiration. Admiration turned into affection. Affection turned into a crush, and well... The crush turned into love. W-What I'm tryin' to say is... I-I think I l-love you." Daryl blinked, still visibly stunned. He needed a moment to catch up. But once, the words had fully sunk in, a warm feeling started to spread throughout the archer's body. A feeling, he never felt that strong in his life before, but he always knew was there – since the prison. Love. It couldn't be something different. Slightly awkwardly, he lifted his hands to place them on your hips, pulling you gently closer. "Love ya, too." The words he never used in his life before, slipped so easily over his lips all of a sudden.

You were beaming now. Your face almost started to hurt from all the smiling. Quickly, you pressed a short, soft kiss on Daryl's lips, taking him by surprise once again. He looked at you shocked at first, but then started to smile, blushing. "Can we go home now, please?" You asked after staring into his beautiful blue eyes for a long moment. "I'm freezing my ass off and this-" You pointed to your thigh. "Really hurts." Daryl nodded quickly, "'Course." and quickly moved to pick you up bridal style. A soft squeak left your lips, followed by a giggle. "Daryl! What are you doing?" "What does it look like?" You shook your head, still giggling, but clasped your hands around his neck. "You can't carry me all the way." Daryl started to walk, whistling for Dog to follow him. "I can and I will. Gotta take care of ma woman." My woman... You liked the sound of that.

[idontevenuse-thissite]

I suppose I shall talk about Malevolent. Because I just got up to date and the ideas are still fresh. Oh yeah spoilers for up to episode 40 including season 5 intermezzo Arthur my beloved. My little cockroach of a character. You who refuse to die and refuse to back down. The crabs still have pincers and all of it. (Also we wanna talk about Dark Arthur? I want to see Darthur. Kayne please do elaborate. I suppose the fans may have to write it.) Where was I? Yes, trauma. Arthur encounters more and more and just has to endure it. Experience the gods. Lose pieces and people. I can't help but always think of an outsiders POV. Someone untouched by the horrors. What they would make of Arthur, they'd probably think him insane if they knew. I wish he got to interact more with regular people. Imagine him having to maneuverer himself around the police, no currently pressing eldritch horrors. (He got some really inconvenient roadblock. He can't kill them, they're just doing their job. But he really has things to do, very important things that he couldn't hope to start explaining. They'd call him mad.) Or just people who comment on his oddities. The butcher was great. And I love that he noticed, the little oddities. Never before have a villain that's been such a threat to a character I love so fast become a favourite. Shame that Kayne killed him, reminding a bit to much of yourself, huh Kayne? I wish a regular would be able to figure him out, in the parts that doesn't need knowledge of the gods. A detective perhaps that wants to continue to prod at the questions. But isn't direct about it. Ah I can't wait to see Arthur's adventures in the past. He's become a traveller and a collector. Now he's in a place without connections. He may become whoever. I can't wait for the blind cryptid to terrorise the people of the past. That's all for now folks. Oh and I wonder if John will be able to do that projecting thing again.

[calculatesguilt]

40 between perceptor and rodimus

Prompt.

40. things you interrupted me to say

Perceptor had been going on and on and on about something or other of the implications of the life they found in some sort of nebula they passed through. Rodimus tried to pay attention. He really did! But as soon as Perceptor pulled out the word Astrobiological he felt his attention check out.

Instead, he focuses on the way Percy's hands move as he speaks, the way his lips move as he enunciates each, increasingly jargonistic, word. He narrows his eyes, wondering what it would be if given the opportunity to... no, no, that's silly.

Perceptor is, well, he can't imagine he sees him as anything other than his captain.. He's fucked up one too many times, and he wonders why he's even here still. On the Lost Light. After... He can't imagine Overlord was encouraging. Nor the addition of Megatron to their crew. Though, Percy never seemed too bothered by the latter.

"Do you follow?" Perceptor's question draws him out of his thoughts.

Rodimus waves his hand dismissively from where he's sat backwards on Percy's chair. "Yeah, yeah, astrobiological diversity in organic life."

Perceptor smiles, only just, and Rodimus feels ill at the sight. Primus this is getting out of hand.

Percy goes back to rambling, turning to the monitor and quickly typing something out to pull up images taken from the probe he sent out. The passion in his voice, the excitement, it's a stark contrast to the Wrecker he had come to know years back when he ended up tagging along after being stranded.

And it's... it's good to see. It's good to know that he brought that out in him.

He wants to kiss him. The thought is so jarring—

"What?" Perceptor says.

Oh kill him now, did he really say that out loud? "What?"

They stare at each other, a beat of silence.

"Can we uh... pretend I didn't say that?"

"No."

"Alright. Cool. I'm just going to leave."

"Rodimus—"

"Nope. I'm going." Before he could scramble off in utterly mortified shame, Perceptor grabs his arm.

"Captain." There is a gentle firmness in the scientist's voice, as he lets go when he's certain Rodimus won't flee the scene.

Rodims fidgets, only to notice Perceptor is fidgeting with his own hands. There is a nervous glint in his eyes he hadn't noticed before. An almost... shyness.

"Rodimus... I... ah... well, I would not be opposed."

"Really?" Rodimus is surprised, to say the very least. Perceptor is very handsome, there's no denying that, and charming in his own weird way, but he's also married to his work. He set it in his mind that the scientist would be completely untouchable.

This is... well it's a turn and he has no idea what to do now.

Perceptor nods, then quickly adds, "Ah but... preferably not when I am in the middle of talking... Perhaps we should... talk about this more? Later. When you are free and I am not busy with these biomarkers."

"Yeah! Yeah. Yeah sounds good to me. Can this... also just stay between us? I hate rumors going around the crew about me."

"Yes, Captain. Now... where was I? Ah, right! Biomarkers..."

[bellysoupset]

Not a lot of emeto, mostly just tooth rotting fluff.

----------------

Leo was practically buzzing with happiness. Today had been a roller coaster of a day.

He was supposed to present his graduating thesis to a group of 4 senior teachers in order to officially be able to graduate and take the bar exam. It had taken many hours of editing to cut down his astounding 89 pages back to 40 and Leo had been sleeping poorly for a week now.

He had spent the better part of that morning dry heaving over the dorm's toilet and then hadn't been able to stomach breakfast, which lead him to be shaky and dizzy by the time it was his turn to present.

However he had passed with flying colors. The relief had been so grand that Leo had staggered back and nearly fallen, causing one of the senior teachers to chuckle and stabilize him back on his feet, telling him "don't die now that you're so close, Mr. Wagner."

Once he was out of the presenting room, everything hit him at once: he was starving, dehydrated probably and he had just officially graduated. All he needed to do now was participate in the ceremony, but the important part was over.

Jonah had been pacing outside of the law building, looking just as nervous as Leo had felt just then and the blonde all but ran to him, throwing his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "I passed! I PASSED!"

Jon had kissed him, PDA be damned, smiling against his mouth, "of course you passed," his voice was so terribly soft, it had nearly sent Leo flat on his back. He loved when he could see these little glimpses of Jon, that normally were confined to the privacy of the bedroom, out in the open.

"I'm so proud of you," Jon pressed his forehead to his, hazel eyes sparkling "and I think we should celebrate."

And then the second part of his day began. While Leo was still bubbling with happiness, by the time Jon met him outside of the restaurant, he could tell that his boyfriend's excitement from earlier had fizzled out.

In fact, it looked like he didn't want to be there at all.

Much to Leo's displeasure, Jonah was hardly meeting his eye and he had reduced his answers to monosyllables, effectively killing all conversation halfway through dinner.

"Are you okay?" Leo snapped, feeling more than a little wounded. He was so happy, he just wanted Jonah to act like it too.

Jon looked up from his untouched plate, seeming surprised, "I'm sorry?"

"Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?" Leo squinted at him.

He frowned, nodding, "I am..."

"Then what's going on?" annoyance flared up, this was his celebratory night and he did not want to spend it playing charades about what had pissed off Jonah, "you're acting weird."

"I'm not," Jonah shook his head, although he seemed weirdly out of it, "I'm fine, I'm just- I am fine. Tell me what did Professor Clarke say about your thesis?"

Successfully distracted, Leo started to retell, probably for the third time, how Professor Clarke had called his thesis "original" and asked if he didn't want to join his research group.

It seemed him calling out Jon's attention had done the trick, because now he was enthralled in the conversation. Still refusing to touch his food and drinking champagne too fast for Leo's liking, but at least he was actively participating in the celebratory aspect of the night.

"I thought I was going to pass out," Leo giggled, "really, even though Dr. Miriam told me to calm down, I just thought- I messed ever-"

"Leo," Jon's voice was serious as he interrupted, causing the blonde to frown.

"Yeah? I'm sorry, I know I'm repeating myself, I just can't shut up tonight, I'm too-"

"Leo, I... Would you... Do you-" Jon shook his head, then gulped down, "...Excuse me."

The last line was said hastily, as Jonah cupped his mouth and shoot up, staggering to the gentlemen's toilet, much to Leo's absolute shock. He blinked, staring at the vacant spot.

Had Jon been sick all night? Had he missed some glaringly obvious sign?

Slowly Leo collected himself, walking to the bathroom and entering. It was empty, so he could perfectly hear as Jonah heaved, inside of the last stall.

"Jon..." Leo frowned, knocking on the closed door, only to find it wasn't locked as it opened.

He expect to find Jonah crumbled down, on his hands and knees, but instead he was standing, a hand pressed to his mouth, breathing deeply through his nose. Perspiration clinging to his temple.

"Hey, babe," Leo frowned, reaching in and undoing his tie, rolling it and stuffing it inside his pocket, then undoing the first button of his shirt so Jonah could breathe better, "what's wrong with your tummy? Did you eat something off?"

Jonah shook his head no, gagging against his fist and removing his hand in time to burp a thin stream of saliva in the toilet. He straightened up again, coughing.

"Sorry..."

"No, it's okay," Leo frowned, flushing the toilet. It was empty, he doubted Jonah had managed to throw up at all, "was this too much champagne?"

Jon winced as the item came to mind, but despite belching thickly on his fist, he shook his head no, "just..." he gulped down, "just nerves. Give me a minute."

Technically Leo was aware that nerves messed up with Jonah's stomach, he had mentioned it before. However Leo had never seen it happen, so this took him by surprise.

"Aw baby," he cooed, rubbing his boyfriend's arm, "take a deep breath, everything's alright."

Jonah opened his eyes, hazel filled with amusement, "don't do that," he said with a rough voice, a tired smile painting his lips, "can you get me some water? I'm-" he gagged briefly, once again breathing deeply in, "I really just need a minute alone."

"Of course..." Leo pouted. When he was sick because of nerves, Jonah's comfort helped. It calmed him down like nothing else, so Leo felt terribly useless that Jon didn't want this comfort returned.

He walked out of the bathroom, ordered two bottles of water, one sparkly, one flat, unsure of what Jon preferred and then waited. After five minutes passed without Jonah being back, he requested the check and then looked at the hour. He'd give the man five more minutes before going back to the bathroom.

Just as Leo was starting to lose his patience, Jonah walked out of the bathroom and back to the their table. He opened an apologetic smile, reaching for the flat water.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't apologize," Leo frowned, studying his face. He didn't look nauseous anymore, but still mildly spooked, "what's making you anxious? Talk to me."

"Nothing bad, I promise," Jonah took a large gulp of water, then grimaced, "I wanted to do this in a much better fashion."

"Do what?" Leo was beyond confused, only for Jon to take his hands on his over the table. He squeezed Leo's hand in his as the blonde attempted to pull back, startled.

"Jon-"

"Move in with me?" Jonah brought up Leo's hand to his mouth, planting a kiss on his knuckles, "I know you're looking for a place now that the dorms accommodations are gonna be over and I... I don't want you to move anywhere else, I want you to move in with me. I wanna wake up next to you every day..."

"I... Yes! Yes, of course!" Leo lurched forward, toppling over the empty champagne flute and swallowing the rest of Jonah's words with a kiss, "of course, yes!"

"Yeah?" Jon had a silly smile on, moving his hands from where they were still holding Leo's near his chest and cupping his face, "we need to talk-"

"Yeah we can talk logistics later," Leo rolled his eyes, pressing his forehead to his, "or the fact that we're getting rid of that horrible rug in the living room."

"The white rug?" Jonah cried out, only for Leo to huff and kiss him again, a huge smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah, the white one."

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Fendinn McKinney*Supporting Character

Partner(s): None Parents: Alasdair McKinney & Éabha McKinney Kids: Aoibheann McKinney Siblings: Age: Immortal but translates into start-mid 40's Birthday: 13th of August. Height: 188 cm (6.1ft) Body type: Slim but toned Eye color: White/gray/wine Classification: Immortal/demon Known powers: Shapeshifting/Falcon, posession, Darkness Consumption (The user can consume and digest darkness/shadow to sustain themselves and their powers.) Darkness Aura (The user can release and surround themselves in/with darkness/shadow for defensive and/or offensive purposes, possibly becoming almost untouchable. The aura may also give the user enhanced physical capabilities such as speed, strength and durability.) Darkness Dimension (The ability to access a dimension of nothingness, Instead of beating bad guys into submission, you can toss them into the darkness dimension where they're faced with their own mortality and ultimate nothingness.) About: ~ Scottish/Irish. ~ Keeps to himself, even when he's around others. ~ Doesn't talk much. ~ Not asocial, just don't care much about anything or anyone. ~ Not to be rude, he just lacks the care gene. ~ Strolls through life unbothered. ~ His hair always falls perfectly in place. ~ One of the older McKinney's though you wouldn't expect. ~ His name has several meanings, such as 'he who tempts', 'enemy' or 'the devil'. ~ Hates stepping in sticky things! ~ Doesn't believe in holding back, regarding anything. ~ Can't stand the smell of lavender. ~ Has a daughter he will defend for anything, though she wants nothing to do with him (he may have eaten her hamster or fiance or something like that) ~ Will pay the highest price to never let anyone close. Ever. ~ Extremely private. ~ Likes to play with his food. ~ Ignore ignore ignore. ~ You are possible less. ~ Loves; Brandy, sex, blood, striking matches, clementines, violin music, sweet tobacco, pumpkin soup and darkness. ~ Dresses in the same leather pants and the same sleeveless turtleneck sweater. ~ Smells like pine cones and gunpowder. Fendinn's tag Fendinn's house/home Fendinns's moodboard Ask/answer pic:

One song to describe him: Simon & Garfunkel - I am a rock.

                                                       

Personal play list: Just Paganini

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 4137 (chapter 30)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case. Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that? What happens when you get involved in Fisk's business and Daredevil's lies against your will?

UPDATES: pls forgive me for not updating regularly :///

30. I Don't Want to be a Part of This

Quickly running to the window, you watch four clouds of smoke and fire cover the city in complete darkness, which is disturbed by sirens and red and blue lights. "What?" You whisper to yourself, and it finally dawns on you - this is where Mrs Cardenas lives; this is where Foggy and Karen might still be. Immediately calling Foggy, you are met with the voice of the answering machine. "Shit, where is it?" You search for Cardenas's personal information sheet where her address was written, or at least was supposed to be written by Karen. "Ah, screw it!" You drop the pile of papers on Karen's desk and run out through the door, remembering just in time to lock the place for the night.

If it weren't for the emergency, cops probably would've already pulled you for speeding in the busy street. Pulling in front of one of the burning buildings, you get out and frantically look around for familiar faces. A cop appears in front of you and gently pushes you away from the scene, "Miss, you can't be here."

"What? My friends might be there." 

"We have saved everyone from that building," He looks around, "are you sure they were in this building and not the others?"

"I-" you curse yourself in your head, "I don't know, I-" 

"Miss, you can wait in your car for any news, I'll be sure to tell you about your friends only if you describe them to me." The man in his 40s says, clearly automatically, just as he was trained in the academy, and leaves you standing alone. You slip away almost immediately and leave the scene in hopes of finding them at the closest building to this. 

Just as you pull up to the next building, Foggy, Karen and Mrs Cardenas emerge from the crowd, stopping just in time before you crash into them. "Fuck, Foggy, is that you? Get in!" You open your doors and get out quickly to help them put Mrs Cardenas in the backseat.

"Wait, the ambulance said to stay here for another." Karen stops the process in the middle.

"Forget about it, it's quicker by car, just get in." You urge them before traffic blocks the main roads as many Hell's Kitchen's residents decide to go look at the newest 'attraction' of the city. "Is she hurt a lot? Are you hurt?" You ask Foggy just as he puts his seatbelt on and press on the gas.

"I don't know, it happened so fast." Foggy shakes his head slowly, afraid that the vision might get blurry again.

"Mrs Cardenas got a bigger blow than us." Karen replies from the backseat. You drive past an abandoned building with at least three police cars parked next to each other, officers involved in a heated conversation. Something feels odd as the building was untouched by the explosions.

"Okay, just a couple more minutes and we'll be there." You reassure the passengers, especially the lady in the back, holding her head with both hands.

*** 

"Don't you move! Don't you freakin' move! Interlock your fingers behind your head and get on your knees. On your knees! Do it! Do it now! Don't you move." One officer shouts, holding his gun tightly in his hands.

"I'll put a bullet in you! Last chance, asshole! I will not hesitate to put you down! On your knees, do it!" His colleague shouts too, briefly glancing at the passenger side, "Keep your eyes on him."

"All right." The driver takes slow steps towards frozen Matt. "Nice and slow." Matt kneels slowly, mind racing faster than before to create an escape plan.  "You got him?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Cuff the son of a bitch." He watches as Matt gets handcuffed and pushed back on the ground. "What about this asshole?" He points to Vladimir.

"Take care of him like we were told. No witnesses." 

Matt smashes his head into the cop's head and knocks him away, quickly putting the other one on the ground too and asks still knocked down Vladimir,  "How bad are you hurt?" Grabbing a gun nearby, Vladimir says something in Russian and Matt kicks him in the face, immediately fleeing the scene.

*** 

In the car, speeding above the limit, Wesley talks on the phone with Blake, talking in a clealy pissed off tone, "Yes. Yes, it is. I'll let him know." He ends the call and takes off his glasses, "Vladimir is in the wind."

"How?" Fisk shakes his head to himself, angry about the failure of his perfect plan.

"Our friend in the black mask, he was beating on him, but stopped Officer Corbin and his boys from finishing him off." 

"Then he wasn't trying to kill Vladimir."

"Based on what we know, probably trying to get him to talk about you. Blake was clumsy, letting the mask get his phone." Wesley sighs heavily,  "I had just texted him the addresses for the sweep."

"We'll deal with Blake later. We need to contain this."

"Vladimir and the mask won't make it out of the area. The sweep will pick them up." 

"Gao put her trust in me." Fisk rasps, shadows appearing and disappearing on his face through the window mix with his disappointment. "She gave me her help. She's going to be disappointed the situation hasn't concluded... as neatly as promised." 

"What are you gonna tell her?"

"The truth. Lying to that woman is impossible."

"She'll want to know what our next move is." Wesley doesn't let Fisk out of his eyes.

"Letting the police do their jobs. That's what I pay them for, isn't it?"

***  "Come on, pick up, pick up." You pace in the corridor outside the ward where Mrs Cardenas rests. Another call to the voicemail. "God, why are you such a jerk, Murdock?" You drop your phone on the little gray sofa next to the wall and sit next to it. A moment, filled with nurses shouting at the end of the corridor, passes by and you kick off your heels, touching the cold hospital tiles with your feet. The cold seeps into your bones but it's much welcomed and calms the ache for a while. Foggy emerges from the ward, already bandaged and throughly checked by the doctors.

"Hey."

"You're okay?" You ask, intently looking at him for any evident discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm super." Foggy smiles and takes a seat next to you. "Still no answer?"

"No." You cut briefly, annoyed by Matt's behaviour, despite him being so chatty and almost clingy the whole day. 

"I should swing by his flat-" Foggy shuts up mid-sentence when you give him a glare. "I should go home and rest."

"Yes, you should." You look at your hands, nervously turning the ring on your finger. "How are they?"

"Karen's good, the nurses already checked her. Mrs Cardenas... She's hurt but I think they gave her lots of painkillers."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

You don't know what else to say. Everything that happened was so unexpected and almost shocking that it left you speechless again.

"I better get going, Karen should go too." He stands up and looks down at you again. "You going?"

"Yeah, yeah, I will. Just need to collect my thoughts." You smile until Foggy steps into the ward and your mask falls.

Desperate for something you try to reach Matt one more time but when he doesn't answer, you dial Wesley, the man who was responsible for what happened just hours ago, yet that was so far from your knowledge that you didn't think twice about calling him.

He picks up after the 4th beep, a bit surprised and distracted, "Hello?"

"James, it's me." Your voice sounds weird even to yourself now.

"Is everything alright?" He asks, turning away from Fisk.

"I'm in the hospital right now."

"Are you hurt? What happened?" Wesley asks, worry evident in his voice. 

"No, I'm okay. Just..." You curse yourself for your next words, but say them anyway, "could you come here?"

"I'll be there soon." Wesley hangs up and turns to look at Fisk, who now has been calmly staring at the sight outside the window of his office that they just returned to.

"You may go, I'll call you." Fisk says not turning his face to look at Wesley, instead curiously watching his concerned reflection in the window.

"Goodnight, sir." Wesley mutters and quickly leaves the office, taking big steps towards his car and driving to the hospital.

You don't know how much time has passed with you sitting there barefoot outside Mrs Cardenas ward and debating on your next move. Matt's phone was still unreachable and Foggy took Karen home. In the corner of your eye you notice a figure quickly walking down the corridor and nearing you in a stoic manner. "I almost didn't find you," Wesley begins just as he reaches you and immediately sits down on your left, "the nurses at the reception didn't know you." He finishes, obviously a bit confused.

"I wasn't registered." Finally lifting your head up from the white tiles, you look at the man beside you. "I told you that I'm alright. Physically."

Wesley looks at you with knitted eyebrows, trying to grasp the meaning of this meeting. "What happened then? Someone else got hurt? Your... Friend?"

"Yeah. Yeah. They let them go home with just minimal injuries." He tries to make sense of your behavior and before he can formulate another question in his head, you finally snap, "but there's a woman in this ward, lying there in great pain which could only be numbed with shit ton of medicine and she is our client. She's-" you take a deep breath, trying to suppress the involuntary sob from coming, "she's a sweet old lady whom I fucking declined at first, like the idiot that I am and that one day that she spent in darkness of her apartment because they have no electricity and not knowing when she was going to get kicked out, that one day until she came back to us again-" you stand up and walk in front of Wesley, still barefoot,"it cost her this." You point to the ward door.

Wesley knows what you're talking about, maybe not the smallest details, but the whole picture was starting to come together now. Eyes following your every movement, he felt like he was a witness of something - either an incoming breakdown or a legal enlightenment. "I'm sorry but I don't think I'm following." He lies a little, just to satisfy himself with all the details.

"That lady came to us because her landlord and some guys were kicking them out of their homes. They refused to move out or take the money and then suddenly all four buildings are destroyed in one night? No, this is no coincidence." Anger takes over your body, a sudden rage fills up your veins and you finally stop pacing. "There's someone behind it. I just feel it."

"Who?" Wesley asks innocently, trying to not give out his knowledge.

"I don't know yet, but I will find them and I will -" You ball a tight fist, more and more sure of your decision.

"You will what?" He asks in what someone might call an 'intimidating' tone, but you don't hear it that way.

"I'll destroy them. They're gonna be so fucked legally that even prison will look like heaven." Wesley notices your almost bloodshot eyes and thinks over his further actions. You take a seat next to him again and rub your forehead with the tips of your fingers. "Do you know how many people are here in the hospital? All from those buildings? Hundreds, James, hundreds of elderly people, and that flat was the only thing they had in their lives."

He closes his eyes for a moment and then slowly hugs your shoulders, not feeling any sympathy towards those old people who were just waiting to die, but feeling conflicted about you.

"They said that there were no survivors from one building." You finish and find him staring ahead of himself in thought.

"I am so sorry that this happened but there's nothing I could do, I'm afraid."

"I know. I just... Needed to talk to someone who would understand me." You sniff loudly a couple of times and slowly put on your heels again. 

"Sore feet?" Wesley asks after a moment, noticing how your skin got goosebumps when he slightly massaged your shoulders.

"Yeah." You laugh a bit, "I should get going it's pretty late."

"Can I drive you home?" He offers because that was the least he could do to make you feel better now.

"Yes. Of course." You stand up together with him, his hand never leaving your shoulders. "I was gonna ask you that but since you offered it yourself..."

"Come on, you look like you need a good night's sleep. Don't worry about anything else tonight." James pulls you closer to him, gently rubbing your upper arm, just over the scar that the bullet left. Just before getting into the elevator, he kisses your temple and slowly pulls away his eyes from you.

*** 

Vladimir wakes up from his involuntary nap, groaning and rolling on the dusty floor of an abandoned building and notices Matt hancuffing the cop to the pole. "You've been busy."

"The building's surrounded. Ten officers, four dogs. More coming." Matt drops the cop's gun on the ground and picks up a metal pipe.

"How do you know this?"

"Lucky guess." Matt smiles briefly before merging with the shadows again.

"What did you do to me?" Vladimir panics, remembering the sharp pain in his side.

"Road flare. Cauterized the wound."

"You burned me?" Vladimir spits out along with a couple of russian swear words.

"Yeah, I had to stop the bleeding. Bullet's still inside you. Wouldn't move around, if I were you."

"You expect me to say thank you?"

"If I didn't need you alive, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Matt states, as if he was going to let him bleed out any way.

Vladimir slightly giggles but  the action makes him cough in pain. "So you just stand there and let me die, huh? But you couldn't kill me yourself. Is that where you draw the line?"

If he could, Matt was sure that he would be rolling his eyes now. "Tell me what I want to know about Fisk." He squats in front of Vladimir.

Yet Vladimir doesn't want to drop the subject of  killing so easy, "You think you're different from me? From him? But you'll get there. Sooner or later we all do, men like us."

"A man like Fisk just took out your entire operation. And he may not own all the cops, but he owns enough that you won't make it into a prison cell. Right now, I'm your only shot at getting out of this building alive."

"His lapdog came to us first. He told us his employer had taken note. He complimented us on our business. Invited us to be part of something bigger to expand if we entered into an agreement." Vladimir coughs again, feeling only disgust towards Wesley and Fisk.

"What did Fisk offer?"

"Police looking other way, aid from politicians and access to Chinese and their heroin."

Matt is taken by surpise now, "He's working with the Chinese?"

Vladimir scoffs again, but this time loudly, "You really don't know anything, do you? Just snapping at scraps falling from table."

"I want names. Everything you know about them and how they connect to Fisk." Matt says in a softer tone, hoping that this will somehow help, or at least provide a sort of calmness to himself.

"There's only one name that matters. The man that can tie it all together." 

"Who?" Matt feels like this is the moment that can change the situation for the better.

"Have you heard of the name Leslie Shumway?" Vladimir ridiccules Matt, yet he doesn't understand the reference.

"No, he work for Fisk?"

Vladimir chuckles, "American schools Almost as bad as Russian." 

"Come on." Matt urges him to go straight to the point, he can't let this go to waste now.

"Leslie Shumway was an accountant to your Al Capone. He handled it for all of us."

"Who is he? Where do I find him?" Matt desperately pushes for the  desired answer. Yet Vladimir starts getting delusional from the blood loss.

"We were going to rule this city my brother and I."

"Vladimir, the name!" 

"His name... His name is... His name is..." Vladimir closes his eyes and falls silent.

*** 

"Thank you, again, for the ride." You say, leaning on the threshold of your door, Wesley standing in the chilly corridor only wearing a jacket. On a better day than this, you'd ask him why was he so fancy dressed up at this late hour.

"Yeah, it's no problem. I just want you to feel better." Wesley smiles awkwardly, slightly messing with the car keys in his pocket. Things did not go as planned and he needed to return to Fisk as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out at this hour. But... I just needed a strong shoulder to lean on." You stretch your hand and put on his shoulder, then let it slide down the hem of his suit and eventually fall back by your side.

"Hey, it's okay. Well, you better get to bed now, y/n." He wants to kiss you goodnight but you  pull out a cigarette from your pocket and put it in your mouth.

"Yeah, one last smoke. Goodnight, James."

He lingers in the corridor a second more before you light up the cigarette and then turns on his heel to leave. "Night."

Just as he disappears down the stairs, you take your purse from the table and lock the doors, keeping the distance between yourself and Wesley who might not left the building yet. Silently creeping after him in the darkness of the building, you finally see him drive away urgently and exit, running towards the slowly passing cab. You just had to try Matt's apartment for the sake of good night's sleep.

***

"Sir, I think we may have a little problem coming our way." Wesley returns to Fisk and notices him sitting before the TV screen, deep in thought. "Everything alright, Sir?" He caught Fisk's SUV  a couple of blocks away and ditched his own car in a random parking lot.

"Vladimir is holed up with the mask. Blake and Hoffman have assumed HNT on scene, secured the perimeter, waiting for the go-ahead to take the building. We should get this behind us."

Wesley's phone rings and with a little update, he sighs once more. "There's a complication. A reporter from the Bulletin."

"Turn his head." Fisk cuts, looking outside the window again.

"It's Ben Urich." 

Now it's Fisk's turn to sigh, "The Union Allied article."

"If he picks up on anything doesn't smell right it could be a problem."

"Problems are just opportunities that haven't presented themselves. You reach out to all of our contacts in the media. I want everyone in Hell's Kitchen to see what's about to happen." Fisk meets with Wesley's small grin, but then remembers the first thing he said when he got into the car. "What problem were you talking about, James?"

It was so rare that he got called by his first name, yet so strange now, especially in a situation like this, when Fisk usually tends to be as serious as possible. Wesley hesitates a bit. He must report everything to his boss, you including, yet this talk in the hospital with you felt more private and vulnerable than the night that he spent together with you. "Uh..." Wesley begins a bit awkwardly, "When I spoke with y/n, she... Promised to take down the person who is behind Tully." 

Fisk slighly raises his left eyebrow, unsure of how the news made him feel, yet he says nothing upon sensing that Wesley had more to say.

"She feels that the explosions were no accident and that someone with more power is involved. If she pushes Tully enough, he might break. And then there are residents of the buildings in the hospital, who would agree on filling lawsuits on Tully for breaking the contract. And if she starts digging deeper, she might catch onto us." Wesley reports dutifully, not putting you in villain's place, but secretly praising you and your dedication to work.

"She's smart." Fisk's expression is unreadable, "yet so stupid." 

***  

Near the warehouse, Wesley hands Fisk a walkie-talkie. Matt tries to find a way out of the building, sensing that they don't have much time left until police gets inside. 

Suddenly, something cracks in the cop's pocket and a voice that he hated the most reaches him and Vladimir. "I'd like to speak to the man in the mask, please. Hello." Fisk says, looking at Wesley. Matt struggles but in the end, finds the cop's walkie. "Are you there? Can you hear me?" Fisk repeats.

"Who is this?" Matt answers, feeling overstimulated by the hatred that he has for Fisk.

"I think you know. You've been asking about me. I thought it was time we spoke."

"Say your name." Matt rasps, making his voice as unrecognisable as possible.

"You first." Fisk riddicules, but is met with a deafening silence, "That's what I thought. You and I have a lot in common."

"We're nothing alike." Matt spits, voice filled with poison.

"That's what you'll tell yourself."

"You're feeding off this city like a cancer."

"I want to save this city, like you, only on a scale that matters."

"Now tell that to the people you've hurt."

Fisk smiles menacingly, "Young man, life is not a fairy tale. Not everyone deserves a happy ending." But his own thoughts slip back to Vanessa.

"I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna make you pay for what you've done."

"No, you are not. Not that I don't admire what you're trying to do, to change the world with nothing but desire and your own two hands, secure in the knowledge that you're doing the right thing, the only thing. That's something that I do understand. But we both can't have what we want. So your part in this drama, by necessity, comes to an end."

"It's gonna take a lot more than a voice on a radio to stop me." Matt inhales loudly, irritating Fisk. Vladimir silently groans next to him.

"It's not me you need to worry about. It's the city you just blew the hell out of."

Matt chuckles lowly, "You... You think anyone's gonna believe that?" 

"You're running around in a mask, holing up with a known felon in the wake of a series of bombings. There's that police officer you're holding hostage, so yes. Actually, I do. But it doesn't have to be this way. The Russian... is he alive?" 

"I'm still here, you fat shit!" Vladimir shouts loud enough for Fisk and Wesley to hear.

"Does that answer your question?" Matt asks, thinking over his further actions.

"It's a one-time offer. You kill the Russian, and we'll call the night a push. You know what he's done to women, to children. To the people of this city that you claim to care about. But do you know how much he enjoyed it?" Fisk knew that he was getting under the devil's skin, how much he could get just by mentioning those innocent people that were hurt by russians.

"You just confirmed how important he is. That must worry you, what he might tell me."

Fisk smiles at Wesley, "Which means he hasn't told you anything yet. You're a child playing at being a hero."

Matt fell into Fisk's trap and he has to get out of it quickly, "No, no, I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm just a guy that got fed up with men like you and I decided to do something about it."

"That's what makes you dangerous. It's not the mask. It's not the skills. It's your ideology. The lone man who thinks he can make a difference. I'm glad we could talk. I respect your conviction even if it runs counter with with my own."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself you've won. It'll make what I'm gonna do to you so much more satisfying."

"Your part ends tonight." Fisk cuts.

"And if that's true, others will take my place. They'll see what I was trying to do and they'll make sure-"

Fisk interrupts, sick of the pointless arguing, "No, they won't. The city will burn you in effigy. Your name, your very existence will be met with abhorrence and disgust." He nods to Wesley, who orders the attack on the warehouse.

*** 

Outside of his apartment building, waiting for a taxi, you light up another cigarette and grab your phone to dial Matt again. This time a rough voice finally picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Seriously?" You scoff loudly and almost drop your cigarette when your fingers start shaking, "I'm picking you up tomorrow. 8:30 sharp. Your ass better be outside when I come, Murdock." You say almost angrily and Matt takes an audible breath, mixed with a hidden pain in his lower back and guilt lying on his heart.

"Okay." is all he manages to say before you end call and wish you could just bang your head against the wall out of frustration. Was he already home? Then why didn't he answer when you knocked probably a hundred times until your knuckles felt numb? Was he with another woman?

[uhgood-girl]

people are having a lot of interpretations on the line jk used in his apple music interview my views were different but messed not clear when he said I will never cross the lines with armys which a singer or artist should maintain everyone taken it as he is saying he will not use them for his benefit, sexual desires, hook up nd all crap they assumed but I don't think he want to say that can u please explain ur point of view not share it please.

hi anon, i hope you can forgive that i'm not sure how to answer this without sharing it? maybe i was supposed to post about it unprompted but to be perfectly honest, the quote in question didn't stick out to me at all before this.

i personally haven't seen any discourse over it either and am confused as to why there would be any as it seems within the lines of the normal boundary setting most of the members have done at some point or another to me.

but to be fair to you and this ask, i went back and watched it again just to make sure i didn't miss anything. the section being discussed starts around 26:13 and ends around 27:40 and in summary the interviewer asks jk about the special relationship bts have with army, how unique and symbiotic it is and what is jk's favorite part about this dynamic. jk answers that he agrees it's very special and how it's important to him personally to continue to try and have "authentic and comfortable" convos with army that show a real version of him. he adds the disclaimer that he knows that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed between performer and audience and he won't cross it but he wants to be our "friend" as much as he can.

so, do i think the "line" he has no intention of crossing here refers to not using army for his benefit/sexual desires/hook ups? uh, no, i'm with you anon, i don't think that's what he meant at all. but not because that line doesn't exist for him, i think it does, but like, that goes without saying, right? assuming jk is a decent human being who would never use his fame or money to unfairly take advantage of anyone, which is something i hope we're all on the same page about here as i don't know why anyone would ever willingly be a fan of someone they thought with high probability would do such a thing, would that not be saying the quiet part out loud? is there some group of genuinely delusional y/n's in a foxhole some where needing this spelled out still? (rhetorical, please don't make me think about saesangs today)

i put quotations around the word "friend" up there because at the end of the day, there will always be a (needed) barrier between idol/artist/performer and fan and jk can't really be our friend in the true sense of the word, which he's aware of. the nature of this type of relationship as a whole already maintains a weird, fluctuating power imbalance between both parties as one cannot exist without the other and you won't get very far, on the artist side of things especially, without understanding this.

but jk has kind of, sort of already crossed some "lines" with us in how willing he has been to show and share so much of himself with us, over the last year, in particular. in case you just fell off the turnip truck yesterday, as my very southern grandmother would say, getting to witness someone as famous and untouchable as jk chilling in real time in their home and bed even, is highly unusual. most celebrities with that level of status wouldn't be caught dead sharing something like that and understandably so, tbh, as most fans couldn't handle that level of intimacy with their idol. hell, a lot of people who consider themselves fans these days apparently can't handle it either, which makes me very sad and tbh how dare you potentially ruin the trust so many of us have spent years building up with them. rude. taking things for granted is how you lose them and the special relationship bts and army share only stays special with effort, but i digress.

i think jk's disclaimer here was an assurance that he's very aware of what he has chosen to share could be perceived by some as having already gone too far but that his boundaries are still firmly in place. "authentic and comfortable" are a priority to him but he's not going to exceed our shared comfort zone. he may be a lot more candid than some, say seokjin, who may as well be an international man of mystery for as much as he's willing to show off the clock in comparison, but jk knows what he's doing. and considering how young he started and how long he's been in the spotlight, he seems exceptionally well adjusted and savvy overall at navigating these extremely tumultuous waters, imo.

anyway, respect your artists as human beings and know your own fan boundaries, folks. there's always some nuance to be had, especially on a site like this where it's a mostly contained bubble for us, the audience, to throw around our fiction and theories and odes to how beautiful they all are but when you leave this space with any of that (minus the odes, maybe) and put it in front of these very real people in question, you've gone too far. don't be that asshole. everyone despises that asshole. (including said artists! they're never going to say it that frankly but i will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[thesinglesjukebox]

FUTURE & METRO BOOMIN FT. KENDRICK LAMAR - "LIKE THAT"

A Drake diss track provides our highest controversy of the day; it truly is April 1...

[5.40]

Andrew Karpan: “Like That” is probably the best of the varied anti-Drizzy discography that I’ve encountered so far; the flipped, forgotten Rodney-O record emerging out of the dust of a minor E-40 posse cut into a throbbing, pulsing menace that owns its own side of the street, untouched. Kendrick, like Pusha-T and then Meek Mill before him, finds inside Drake’s bloated success and notorious mediocrity a melancholy yearning to belong, which frankly confuses him. But this is, of course, why the devout listen to Drake in the first place.   [6]

Taylor Alatorre: Not the second coming of Big Sean's "Control" that I thought it was upon first listen; the Michael Jackson line is doing most of the heavy lifting as far as pure shock and awe goes. The Verse is more of an announcement of hostilities than a full engagement on the battlefield, sounding like an intended sneak diss that turned less sneaky after a few hard drinks. The time and place of its delivery matter almost as much as the content: "Wait, Kendrick's on this thing? Can he say that about Drake on a Future album? How did Melle Mel get dragged into this?!" By design, it'll never again hit as hard as it did the first time, but the jolt of that initial impact stays imprinted in your brain like memory foam. Credit to Future for humbly recognizing his limited role on this stage (despite being as influential as any rapper mentioned here) and to Metro for being good at sample clearance, both much unlike Big Sean on “Control.” [8]

Alfred Soto: "I still got PTSD," Kendrick rasps. Could've fooled me. He responds to the competition with zeal -- from Future to Eazy-E. The first half sticks to Future's tried-and-true.  [7]

TA Inskeep: I can't, and won't, with Future's gun-glorifying, misogynist lyrics. And Metro's Barry White-sampling track is just lazy. [0]

Isabel Cole: Shrooms are really having their moment in the zeitgeist, huh? I kind of like the inclusion of a whistle done by someone who can only whistle poorly, if only because you don't hear that every day. The dull, droning rest of it, though, feels like something I've heard before, and I didn't care for it the first several times, either. [2]

Katherine St. Asaph: Doomy, like background music for surveying the world from a high perch. Kendrick just overkills Drake and everything else. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The thrills of the Kendrick verse dimish with every listen – perhaps I've grown cynical (or just counterintuitive), but his performance last year on “The Hillbillies” (loose, fun, hanging out with his cousin) was a better demonstration of the appeal of latter-day Kendrick than this ceremonial airing of grievances, at once impressive and a little tedious the same way watching someone solve a cryptic crossword is. Future and Metro are exquisite hosts, though. The lifted synths and chants from the class of '87-'88 lend the whole affair a charming old revivalist sensibility, while Future, a man of infinite regress into his own worst impulses, sounds gleeful. He whistles! Why isn’t that the story rather than warmed-over beef? [7]

Ian Mathers: Imagine if the fierceness of the Kendrick verse (the only reason we're here, right?) had inspired Future to match it even remotely. I don't mind his sleepy affect most of the time, but it doesn't really match here; the bit at the fade where he perks up is actually promising in comparison. Good production (so much so it basically gets a verse!), good ft., but Future drags it down. [6]

Oliver Maier: A heap of irritating choices, bafflingly put together even before you get to the part where it fades out as Future is still rapping. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: The discovery of Kendrick Lamar’s incredible ability is as unsurprising as it is predictable -- there hasn’t been another figure blessed with either the talent or critical armor to take his place in the eyes of the larger public who don’t read good music writing and let YouTubers tell them what music to like -- but the verse is at least good. It picks up the jengabuilt flows of Detroit/Bay Area rap and his long time record of disrespecting his peers for kicks and clout and actually has the bar “my temperament bipolar, I choose violence” comfortably lodged somewhere towards the beginning. It���s telling that Future has another verse on the song yet chooses to let Metro place it after a shrieking riff under some heavy kicks, then fade it out, almost as if the point had been made. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Ghost Story - Chapter 40

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 2844

Warnings: Swearing, death

Summary: No one will miss a ghost. It'd been a running joke for as long as anyone could remember, something Ghost herself started, and she always said it with a smile on her face or with mirth in her voice. The untouchable stealth pilot in every sense of the word, no one could've predicted the depth of her turmoil over recent events, nor the extremes she would go to in order to protect the man she loved, not even those closest to her. Now, all that was left of the young aviator for Maverick, Hangman, and Rooster were the memories of the past, which would slowly fade with time. She'd come into their lives and made an unforgettable impression, and then, like a ghost, she was gone... Then again, ghosts can't die a second time.

Notes: Y'all, I'm so sorry for this chapter... I put in a bunch of gifs of Rooster looking pretty to make up for it.

Chapter Songs: Tally Two/What's the Plan/F-14 Memories I'm Coming Home

****

Rooster

Living up to her callsign, Ghost practically floated down the mountainside and barely left a trace of her presence. Meanwhile, like a rooster in the morning, Bradley made all sorts of commotion descending that blasted mountain, including snowballing down at one point. He would've rolled all the way to the bottom had Ghost not grabbed his leg in time and yanked him to a stop.

"Thanks," he said, shaking the snow out of his sleeves.

Ghost looked him up and down. "If we make it out of this alive, I'm changing your callsign to Snowball."

"Don't you dare."

"You have more snow on you than the ground," she pointed out, brushing snow off his hair. "Honestly, Rooster, how did you manage this?"

"My foot found a hole, and I tripped."

A small smile tugged on her lips as she shook her head. "Come on, Snowball, let's get going."

"I swear if you start calling me that-"

"Nah, Rooster is still more suiting for you."

"How so?"

"Because you're way too chipper in the morning." Ghost waited until an enemy in the distance turned its back on them before darting farther down to the entrance of the base. Rooster followed, slipping and sliding on the ice. In a whisper, Ghost reminded, "Remember, no matter what, until we're in a plane, don't say a word!"

"Underst-"

Ghost whacked him on the arm. "What did I just say?!"

Rooster opened his mouth to say something again but swiftly shut it when Ghost started lifting her hand. They slipped inside the base, the entrance turning out to be the end of a long runway. Wordlessly, they kept going, strutting like they belonged there and attempting not to look too suspicious. Either these terrorists were really stupid, or he and Ghost were phenomenal actors and found themselves in the wrong industry.

Ghost scanned their surroundings as if she understood the foreign language on the signs and the conversations around them. They passed a line of planes that Rooster recognized as Su-27s and Su-30s. Whoever these terrorists were, they had connections...

Ghost led them to a storage room full of cleaning supplies. Then, pulling Rooster inside, she shut the door and allowed them to take a breath. 

"Now what?" Rooster whispered.

"We need to take one of those Su-30s, but we need to create a distraction first, so there are more personnel focusing on that than us," she said, sifting through the different chemicals on the shelves. Ghost stood with a huff. "God, nothing here that could be of use. We'll need to come up with a different plan. I guess I could threaten one of them-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean threaten one of them? Ghost, might I remind you, you are very American with a definitely recognizable Texan accent, and these guys are very Russian. What exactly are you going to-"

The door handle squeaked downward, and before Rooster could move a muscle, Ghost grabbed his flight suit and pulled him down to her level, crashing her lips onto his. He reacted instantly, instinctively, his hands gripping her hips as a way to ground himself to reality because the idea of him kissing Ghost in the middle of an underground terrorist base seemed unfathomable. 

The door opened, and the conversation of two men abruptly stopped. Ghost broke off the kiss and smiled sheepishly at them. Rooster wasn't sure what he expected her to do because God knows his mind was mush from the kiss, but hearing her speak fluent, flawless Russian to the two dumbfounded men had not made the top ten. Hell, it hadn't even made the list. Rooster stared at her, attempting to hide his own utter surprise while she smiled sweetly at the two terrorists and explained something to them. 

Whatever it was, the men bought it and began shutting the door again. Rooster already had his mouth open to ask what just happened when an alarm blared throughout the base. Once more, Rooster had no idea what the voice over the intercom said, but Ghost turned to him and mouthed, "Air raid."

Only two people would've been sent to attack the base, and Rooster found himself equally relieved and terrified at the same time. Maverick and Hangman were here, and they were undoubtedly thirsty for blood against the people who shot down Ghost and Rooster, the same people currently surrounding the two downed pilots. 

Without a word, Ghost bolted out of the room with Rooster on her heels. She led him to one of the Su-30s, gruffly grabbing another pilot off the ladder he'd been climbing, barking furiously at him in Russian and pointing a firm finger at him, a fire in her eyes Rooster had never seen before. 

I am simultaneously terrified and turned on, and I should not be feeling this way right now. Rooster thought as Ghost climbed the ladder into the cockpit. Bradley followed suit. He waited until the canopy closed before finally releasing his pent-up confusion and demanding, "Since when do you speak Russian?!"

"I always have," Ghost replied casually, flipping switches and putting on her helmet. "See if you can get us connected to the carrier. We might be out of range of them, but maybe we can contact Mav and Hangman. Although, I'm worried our connections won't work with theirs."

"I'm already working on it, but can we go back to the fact you speak Russian? Why did I not know this?"

"Never got brought up in conversation. It's one of the reasons I was chosen to compete for the mission."

"You could've gone-" raising his voice a few octaves, he imitated- "Hey Rooster, want to know a cool fact about me? I speak fluent Russian with a flawless accent!"

"First off, I don't sound like that. Second of all, hold on." The plane jerked forward and pulled onto the runway. Without hesitation, Ghost shot forward, rapidly gaining speed and pulling into the air the second the opportunity arose.

"Fuck!" Ghost rolled violently to the left, a missile whistling past their wing dangerously close. "Rooster, tell me if you can spot Maverick and Hangman!"

He spun around, scanning the skies behind them. Almost immediately, an F-35 descended behind them. "Tally one, six-o-clock! Coming in fast!"

"Hold on!" Ghost dove back to the ground, the underside of the plane practically scraping the tops of the trees. He watched her line up with the base's entrance and fire a missile at the mouth. While it didn't enter, it struck the roof, knocking debris onto the runway and effectively making it unusable for the time being. Unfortunately, it looked like she'd been aiming for the F-35 zipping above the base, so if her plan had been to show Maverick and Hangman- whoever trailed behind them- that they were on their side, it failed. Even worse, three enemy planes had managed to take off after Ghost and Rooster, and they swarmed the skies, tag-teaming against Maverick and Rooster. 

"Are they still behind us?" Ghost asked, her voice slightly panicked.

"They're still behind us!" he confirmed.

"Shit... okay. I have an idea. I'm going to bring him in closer."

"You're going to do what?!"

"I'll bring him in closer, hit the brakes, and he'll fly right by."

"This is not a movie, Ghost! That's not how this-" 

The missile alert went off, and Ghost went up and over their ally. She hit the thrusters, shooting the plane up and into a loop. From there, she rolled over until they leveled out and faced the three enemies in the distance, who were rapidly closing in on her.

"Now what?" Rooster asked, peering around to the front. "We technically have enemies behind us and in front of us."

"Maverick and Hangman still think we're on the enemy's side. We need to prove that we're not, and we're going to take some terrorists down in the process. Those enemies in front of us think we're on their side. Let's use it against them."

Without another word, with her own missile alert blaring, Ghost ignored it and locked onto the closest SU-27, releasing a missile straight at them at a dangerously close distance. The unexpected attack caught the enemy off guard, and they had no chance to react. Rooster watched the missile strike the enemy fighter straight on.

"If Maverick and Hangman didn't know we were on their side before, they should now," Ghost said, circling around to get behind the remaining fighters. "We even have better odds now that it's three against two and-"

"We have a problem," Rooster interrupted, catching a glint of a canopy disappearing between the mountains. "I think a fifth got up and is leaving the area to find out where Mav and Hangman launched from."

"Like hell they are." Ghost deviated from the main fight, chasing after the lone enemy. The unexpected movement flung Rooster to the side.

"Is it wise to leave your wingmen?"

"I'm not. I have you. The boys have each other, too. Besides, it's one plane, and if I can't shoot it down, I at least need to keep it preoccupied and its attention off the carrier until Maverick and Hangman join us."

"You make it sound so simple."

"Would you rather I make it sound complicated?"

"Not really."

Falling silent, he let Ghost focus on flying while he kept his head on a swivel to keep an eye on his surroundings, ignoring the twinge of pain each time he turned his neck and the absolute agony in his left leg. He hadn't told Ghost this, nor had he let on except for the slight limp she'd noticed earlier, but getting shot and down and having to eject and then tripping in a hole had seriously messed up his leg. If it wasn't fractured, then something had to be torn or severely strained. He'd ignored it up until now, but Rooster prayed that when they landed, he could walk...

At the idea of landing, a realization struck him. "Ghost, does this plane have carrier-landing capabilities?"

"That would be a negative, so we're going to be in for one hell of a landing," Ghost replied sheepishly. 

How did I manage to end up in this situation again? Rooster groaned inwardly, dreading the idea of a jarring landing with his injuries. He also worried about Ghost faring through it. While she claimed her ribs were only bruised, he suspected worse with how she had clutched them the entire way to the base, how quickly she became winded, and the constant breathlessness in her voice. Moreover, if her ribs were already bruised or cracked, the forced landing would only worsen them, if not cause them to puncture a lung. Rooster shuddered at the thought.

"Talk to me, Rooster. What's going on around us?" Ghost asked, slowly closing in on the Su-30 in the distance.

"Nothing behind us and-" he bonked his head against the glass- "nothing below us except a raging river and only cliffs on our sides."

"And the sun's behind us, making it difficult for the enemy to see us. This is scarily too much in our favor." Ghost hit the afterburners, pushing Rooster into his seat. He simply took a deep breath, prepared himself for the ride, and prayed Maverick and Hangman joined them sooner rather than later.

That is, if they survived.

Of course they'll survive. It's Maverick and Texan Maverick. And I'll survive because I'm with the Female Maverick.

"Come on, get a lock, get a lock, get a lock," Ghost mumbled, honing in on the enemy jet. "Annnnd... fire!"

She released the missile and had the enemy not dove behind the other side of a mountain, the projectile would've hit. Ghost chased after him, dangerously close behind. Rooster nearly came out of his seat when she flipped the plan over for the dive. 

"Get back here, you little shit!" she snapped in annoyance, sending a wave of bullets at them. A few hit, but not enough. Not near enough.

"Damn it, I only have one missile left, and bullets are low too. Those terrorists might've had connections to get the planes but not the ammo."

"Which is both good and bad. Something I never thought I'd say," Rooster confessed, wincing as he turned around to see if Maverick and Hangman were in view yet. He could've sworn he saw the glare of a canopy far, far away, but he couldn't be sure. Besides, they'd have a hell of a time catching up to them. He and Ghost might've been in an older jet, but it was faster than the F-35. The only thing working in his dad and Hangman's favor was the fact the terrain slowed Ghost and her target down.

"Once we get out to the open ocean, I should be able to get a better lock on them," Ghost said, almost talking more to herself than to him. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," he lied, holding back the nausea caused by the pain in his leg and Ghost's mercurial flying.

"You don't sound fine," she pointed out. "What's wrong?"

"Noth-"

"Bradley."

"Nothing you need to worry about right now. Focus on that plane first."

Her annoyed groan told him she did so reluctantly, but Ghost listened, and Rooster tried to scan the skies for Maverick and Hangman. Although only a little bit larger than dots on the horizon, he could see two jets flying in their direction, and the brief glimpse of the silhouette brought him to a comforting conclusion. Informing Ghost of the good news, he let himself briefly close his eyes to acknowledge the excruciating pain in his leg. It made him want to hurl, but he swallowed the desire, thinking to himself: Ghost will get you through this. She's mini-Mav. We also have Maverick and Hangman with us. We'll be fine.

However, Rooster underestimated his pain, not having realized that when he shut his eyes, he passed out for God knows how long. Rooster only awoke because of a high-pitched noise repeating his name. Groggily opening his eyes, Rooster looked around in a daze. The ocean water blurred past, and the sun that had once been behind him now lay in front of him.

"Bradley?! Answer me, damn it!" Ghost's frantic voice turned out to be the high-pitched noise he heard. "Bradley!"

"I'm- I'm here. I'm good," he replied, dizzy from pain.

"You're not good!" she snapped worriedly.

"Annalise, are you okay?"

"No! I've been calling your name for the past few minutes with no response! What happened?"

Rooster grimaced, realizing he couldn't keep the secret any longer. "I- I fucked up my leg or my ankle, maybe both. It might be broken, and it's- the pain-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you..."

"Jesus Ch- Bradley, if you're injured, I need to know! I can't- shit!" Ghost gasped and jerked her plane upward, but whatever happened, it was too late. Rooster found himself pinned to the seat, barely able to move as the plane lost all its momentum and went into a flat spin. Ghost frantically shouted, "We've lost both engines! I can't- I can't get them to restart! Fuck!"

"Keep trying, Ghost! You've got this!"

"Bradley, we have to eject!"

"No, we can-"

"That's an order, damn it! Eject! Eject! Eject!" Ghost pleaded with him, and he could hear her tears. He wouldn't be the reason she cried, not again. So, he listened. Mustering as much strength as he could, Rooster strained against the G-forces and grabbed hold of the ejection handle. For the second time that day, he found himself gliding weightlessly through the sky, although this time, the side effects of the ejection were much more noticeable. His neck and back swore in protest, but his leg screamed. His vision began tunneling as he looked for Ghost in the air to make sure she had escaped too. While he saw her parachute, the relief it gave him was short-lived. Rooster's eyes trailed down to her body, hanging limply by her straps. His tunnel vision disappeared, his body suddenly coursing with fear and worry. The moment he hit the choppy waters, he propelled himself foward, the adrenaline numbing his agonizing pain. Rooster reached Ghost as her body hit the ocean.

"Ghost!" He shouted, dragging her into his arms. Her head lolled against his chest, unmoving. "Ghost! Oh no, oh no! Oh god... oh god..."

Cradling her tightly so the waves didn't rip her away from him, Rooster tilted her face toward his, and bile rose in his throat. Blood trickled out of her nose, her ordinarily fair skin turning blue. "No, no, no," he croaked out. "This isn't- ghosts can't die. You can't- I don't- please, Annalise. Please, wake up."

Ghost never responded. Time slowed. The world went still. Sound disappeared. Rooster barely registered the sight of the helicopter or the soldier prying Ghost's lifeless body from his rigid hands. The moment he no longer held her, the pain finally overtook him, and Rooster passed out.

****

Tags: @supernaturaldawning @shanimallina87 @polikszena @lgg5989 @callsign-milano @bradshawsandbridgetons @harper1666 @shadeops21 @double-j @copaceticwriter @rotating-obsessions @sharkprestige @thedarkinmansfield @lapilark @mickeyluvs @starshipfantasy @bennypears00 @mandowife221b @the-navistar-carol @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @carmellasworld @0hb0llocks @nicangelinee @summ3rlotus @3picklesinajar @magentamistress @the-other-hawkeye @elisha-chloe @emilymarie105 @persephone11110 @luckyladycreator2 @boogdleyboo @k0k3 @bibissparkles @lilmonstrjedi @stinkyrat09 @cocoag19 @suburbzchick @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @goodstuff28 @georgiasimpson95 @horselovers2016 @tanithpriad125 @davidshawnsown @sowolfstudentme @agagafafa @callmemana @sec17 @brxklyn15 @h0ppy0the0sheep @tomanybandstolove @abigailannz @mini-bee-bee @super-btstrash-posts

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32 Chp 33 Chp 34 Chp 35 Chp 36 Chp 37 Chp 38 Chp 39 Chp 40

[goongiveusnothing]

I'm really wondering about his future releases and work from now on, because the shift in tone about him from the last few months has been immense. Harry was so untouchable in the media since his solo stardom. But now he only trends for negative reasons. The Harries I know have stepped back from posting about him all the time. Will there be negative album reviews next time for him? Will his album and his stadiums sell out as much?

I think Harry will still sell.

But I do believe his success has been hampered. I do think there's now a certain element of cringe and corniness connected to being a Harry Styles fan that he can't shake because it's just who he is. This has severely dented his attempts at credibility and musical and artistic seriousness. He's back to feeling like a boybander, but an almost creepy one, a queerbaiting Himbo with a Zionist bent. All of his nice guy, smart guy stuff now feels like a clever corporate con to drain fans of their finances. This movie is meant to help him with gay fans, but most gay people are embarrassed by him and do not claim any of his comments.

Do I think he's gonna be a total flop from now on? Alas, no. He has a huge fanbase abroad, who don't really care about how cringe or corny he is in Western terms.

But I keep saying... this year was his peak. I think his next album will not sell as well as this one. I think his feature in the Eternals will be hated even more and will be quietly sort of tossed aside ("Harry has too many work commitments etc"). I do not think he will be received with universal adulation anymore. The media now know there is meat in the water. They can pick at it. They can critique and mock him. Like you said, he's no longer an untouchable.

I also wonder about future interviews. It's clear they're trying to avoid Harry speaking in public as much as possible. But that can only last so long. He will have to give another interview at some point. With friendly journalists only? People are tired, people see through it.

Then there's the aging thing, the majority of his fans are only fans because they sexually fantasize about him. He's aging out of that. He just looks so old, so worn, so aged out of being a sex symbol for little kids, which are his obvious target market.

I think in a few years, we may see him act more desperate, because I do not think he will be able to handle being a has been and not being as coveted or reputed anymore. We've seen how petty and angry he can get about these things. I can see him doing really corny weird desperate stuff in a few years, desperately hoping to reclaim his glory days of his Harry's House/Fine Line era. A Justin Timberlake, except at least Justin is in his 40s!

[puphee]

I posted 1,079 times in 2022

That's 578 more posts than 2021!

803 posts created (74%)

276 posts reblogged (26%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@puphee

@jaylaxies

@jeontaeil-archived

I tagged 818 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#🦋ask : anon - 193 posts

#shut up ceb - 159 posts

#txt hard hours - 157 posts

#🦋: mutuals - 96 posts

#enhypen hard hours - 90 posts

#txt smut - 53 posts

#skz hard hours - 48 posts

#soobin smut - 40 posts

#🦋ask : koa anon - 30 posts

#julia🐛 - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#yeah i stalk ur prifile sometimes bc it seems like you have my post notifs on and idk a lot of male tumblr users aside from my moots so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ummm txt mtl to cum from eating the reader out??? ^_^

hope you’re having a good day/night! <3

-@gyulfriend ⭐️

Reasoning will be under the cut!

Most

Soobin

HueningKai

Beomgyu

Yeonjun

Taehyun

Least

I am a firm believer in the Soobin and Huening Service top agenda. Soobin and HueningKai are actually on the same level with this tbh. For different reasons tho

Soobin would def because he’s a huge pervert and it just gets him so riled up to make you feel so good that you’re pulling on his hair or wtv and he just really really gets off to the thought that it’s him of all people making you feel this way. He’s probably fantasized about this a lot before, so when it’s reality, he can’t help how hard and desperate he gets subconsciously </3

Kai is MEGA service top. But he’s also pretty shy. But also not. It’s hard to explain how i think. Kai takes great pleasure in helping you get off, and he thinks it’s so rewarding to see you so blissed out and beautiful and even more so when you praise him for doing such a good job. Like, his sole focus is on helping you get off, so he, like soobin actually, doesn’t even realize he’s grinding his hips against whatever while he’s eating u out, only registers it when he’s actually cum and then he gets all blushy and embarrassed and flustered and apologizes, but you always say it’s okay because it’s really so cute just how happy he really gets just to make you feel good. This (my description of this) is so ass compared to what it’s really like in my brain i wish i could show you what it’s like in my brain so bad rn.

Beomgyu is also a major pervert, and has definitely cum untouched while eating you out before, but it was kind of a once in a while occurrence. it’s not something that happens very often.

Yeonjun and Taehyun are neutral tbh. Yeonjun might have had it happen before when he was extremely turned on or excited before, but that’s it. Taehyun doesn’t think of it as anything significant enough that he could cum from it. Yeonjun kind of has the same mindset in that aspect.

414 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#4

yeonjun fucking his gf on the kitchen counter in the middle of the night 🥺

Today was a day where the both of you could just lay around in your pajamas for the day, nothing important on your schedules. The sun has set long ago and you're still lounging in your sleep attire while Yeonjun is sat in his gaming chair in only his boxers. Let's say you're both insomniacs, okay? Both of you can't exactly fall asleep any time soon. Maybe it's Yeonjun's fault for having the brightness on his monitor turned onto its highest setting, or it could be that you were staring at your phone screen for the past couple of hours without taking a break, but we aren't going to blame anyone right now. You've finally started to begin feeling tired, so you set your phone down and stretch, stumbling into the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe cut up an apple for a late snack.

As you were too focused on your screen, you hadn't realized Yeonjun had stopped playing his games and began to watch you with hungry eyes. The position you were laying in was a little... let's say it just gave him a very nice view😁👍 anyways with every shift you make, it had given him even better angles for him to ogle at. Being the pervert he is, he's gotten a little excited. When you get up to go to the kitchen, he follows suit, taking this opportunity. Maybe he'll finally feel tired after blowing your back out lmao.

Anyways, his hands snake around your waist, and he presses up against you. Yeonjun places a kiss to beneath your ear and down your neck, gaining a small giggle from your lips.

"Hey, baby?"

"Hm?"

"Are you still not tired?"

"Hm... only a little, but other than that, I'm a bit restless."

A smirk will grace his lips as he turns you around in his arms, looking you in the eyes. "I have an idea. Maybe it'll help."

It doesn't take much for you to agree, and by now, Yeonjun has lifted you up onto the counter and slipped off your shorts and underwear, leaving your lower half bare in front of him. He delicately traces his fingertips along your folds and rubbed small circles into your clit, collecting your arousal on his fingers with a smile. Once he deems that you're wet enough, he strips his boxers off and steadily pushes into you &lt;3

The angle makes him hit just the right spots repeatedly, your toes curling with every thrust of his hips. He might even bring a hand up to wrap around your pretty throat if that's what you like. Despite the dark, he can perfectly see the way his cock drags out of you only to push right in again sharply.

It'd probably be a bit of a quickie, because not a lot of energy was within the both of you in the first place, so there wasn't a lot to put into it either. (Obviously enough for you both to blow a load tho) Will be very proud of himself with coming up with the idea because you're so spent and tired that you slur your words a little afterwards. You also make sure to tell him how much you liked fucking in that position hehe so you can do it again.

Sorry if this was ass, I wrote this while I had a fever and forgot to post it

556 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#3

thoughts on makeup sex with any txt member of your choosing?

😼I'm gonna give my thoughts on make up sex with the choi line !! Before you thank me, you're so welcome

YEONJUN:

Your argument was so stupid that you don't even remember what it was about at this point

You've been ignoring him for a few days, so you've forgotten why you were still so upset with him

He feels really bad though, and not talking to you for a few days made him feel even worse

He knew it was his fault for starting it, and he wanted nothing more than to apologize

But you wouldn't return his texts or calls

He's a little worried at this point, so he decides to just show up at your place and try to talk to you in person

When you open the door and look fine, he feels relieved, and immediately engulfs you in a hug

"I'm sorry, baby. I missed you so much."

You pout standing still for a while before feeling your resolve melt and hugging him back.

"Let me make it up to you, please?"

Make up sex with Yeonjun would have a lot of apologies and "I missed you"s.

He'd remind you how much he loves you and will be really gentle the whole time

Missionary bc he wants to kiss all over your face and to kiss away any and all tears that may slip past your eyelids

SOOBIN:

Soobin had been really stressed with work lately and, although he didn't mean to, he took it out on you

You did not appreciate it and you got onto his case about it, saying you weren't going to put up with it and to get out of your apartment

He realizes he messed up almost immediately after you scold him and kick him out

He feels really bad, especially when you ignore him for the next few days or so

Will continue to send you good morning and goodnight texts even though you leave him on read.

After he gets particularly upset about not talking with you, he'll text you again

"I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you. I miss you."

You're too curious for your own good, so you respond: "how will you make it up to me?"

"Let me come over. I want to show you how sorry I am."

You let him come over and as soon as he's in your apartment and the door is closed, he has you in his arms and his lips on yours.

You would have put up more of a fight if you didn't see that he had been crying.

He leaves apologies repeatedly against your lips, holding you tight as if he were afraid to let you go (which he is)

You hold onto his shirt when you kiss him back, tugging on it a little.

See the full post

735 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

11:17 PM

See the full post

808 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Weekend

-p.js

WARNINGS: barely proofread for mistakes, car sex, grinding, unprotected sex, glasses kink, facial, mutual masturbation, jay giving mixed signals ig, open/shitty ending

WORD COUNT: 3.36k

A/N: i kinda gave up on making this any longer, so maybe in the future there will be a part two but that won’t be any time soon. Hope you enjoy ;)

Also I listened to The Weekend by BIBI on repeat while writing this fic so feel free to do the same as you read <3

See the full post

1,379 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[semi-sketchy]

These are some old tweets, but I wanted to mirror them to Tumblr seeing as I'm mostly using this as my Sonic opinion dumping ground. I mostly wanted them here because to this day, I still haven't seen anyone mention some of the issues I ran into.

I posted the tweets in February, 2023, shortly after Colors Ultimate came to Steam, detailing some changes and issues I had.

---------------Thread 1---------------

Well I played Sonic Colors Ultimate now. Only for 15 minutes, but...man. All I can do is hope that some fans are able to salvage this if they even want to when an already good version exists.

The controls are an adjustment, but I'm thankful I can remap them. There's frame drops and frankly, I don't know why. It's installed on a gen 3 NVME SSD and only used about 40% of my GPU. There was no maxing of VRAM, my CPU was basically untouched, it just stuttered frequently.

There's literally less graphical settings in this than Frontiers. You get resolution and that's it. How can you do that on a modern PC game? Also yeah, the lighting and motion blur is so far out of control.

(Small update: I just found the option to turn off motion blur. It does exist. Why they put it in the "other" category when it belongs in "video" is beyond me.)

Even the textures themselves. I think the fan-made HD texture pack for Dolphin looks way better.

One more nitpick though. How and WHY can you wall jump off the sides of the results screen? This messes with breaking your rank so much?

Moral of this story: play the game on Dolphin using the HD texture pack for a better experience. I'm not upset that I bought it, I knew what I was getting into. "It's still Sonic Colors" is something we can agree to disagree on.

----------Thread 2-----------

While Colors Ultimate left a very negative first impression on me, I think I'm warming up to it some.

My biggest problem was the constant stuttering, but it hasn't happened in awhile which makes me think it was from compiling shaders.

My other biggest problem that I've somewhat adapted to is wall jumping on everything. They changed the amount of time you need to hug a wall in order to start sliding which caused a lot of muscle memory problems and even a few deaths, mostly at sections with the Cube Wisp. (I've had some time to think on this and maybe the physics change occurred due to doubling the framerate. Meaning if the wall sliding was tied to framerate, the time to activate it was cut in half.)

There's also some more subtle physics changes you might not have noticed, like it takes longer to do a 180 so you can't air boost in the opposite direction anymore and the Frenzy Wisp takes longer to turn around. This makes two red rings in Starlight more of a pain.

Another thing I noticed last night is the enemy AI appears to be affected. It was near impossible to get through some platforming sections because they never paused on their shooting in spots where they were only meant to fire 1-3 shots. That's minor though and only on two stages.

The lighting is still not great and the audio mixing definitely needs work, but I've gotten used to it.

I've only really ran into a few bugs, such as the title screen music not playing or the visual of a Wisp lingering, but they haven't really been a big deal.

I still don't care for any of the changes they made, but if it's your only way to play Sonic Colors...it works, I guess.

--------------------------

Just gonna throw a few more of my two-cents in since it's been awhile, there's been some changes and a few of the notorious bugs (such as Sonic staying in the air for the one Starlight stage intro) have been ironed out. The rest...I never checked.

I simply have not wanted to go through Ultimate again to see what's broken and what's not. Considering the amount of bugs, it's unlikely they were all fixed and even though the majority are solely graphical, I still recommend the original over this version. It is playable, I imagine someone who never tried the Wii version would think it's fine, but as a massive Colors fan who's been playing this game for a decade, the small physics changes are what makes Ultimate an inferior game.

And it's strange how I haven't seen anyone else bring that up.

[moonyasnow]

Moony's TWST Vampire AU

Part 2: Savannaclaw

Heartslabyul Savannaclaw (you are here) Octavinelle Scarabia Pomefiore Ignihyde Diasomnia Extras

(listen I know what a massive contrast this is— it's just the only official art which shows the entire Dorm together)

This is NOT ORGANIZED lmao

Literally just unfiltered thoughts and ideas, with some short writing snippets only sneaking in by accident. Literal brainrot stuff

Also some thoughts will absolutely be longer than others I wrote most of this in like 5 hours in one sitting

It will be in 8 parts. First the dorms, and then a final one for my thoughts on some side-characters' places in this AU

Basic rules of the Vampire AU:

A vampire is unkillable until they turn someone. As such, vampires are rare, and usually created on accident.

Vampires can't die of starvation. They can sure try, and by god will it hurt, but it can't kill them.

Vampires can drink liquids that aren't blood, though they get no nutrients from it, but they cannot ingest food. If they try to eat normal food, they just throw it up, their bodies rejecting it entirely.

They can drink any blood that is not from another vampire.

leona

Leona has long ago chosen to suppress the knowledge of where, how, and by whom he was turned. It wasn't pleasant, is all he remembers, and that's good enough of a sign for him to not go rooting around his head for the facts of what actually happened.

He faintly recalls his life before, though. But that one wasn't much better. Just filled with bitterness, loneliness and a hopeless feeling of always being overlooked. But it's not like it mattered anymore. He was dead. As was his family.

Now he was no longer 'Second Prince Leona Kingscholar'— just 'Leona'. Or 'King of Beasts' to his enemies. A multiple-hundred-something(he stopped counting after 103) year old Vampire Clan Leader. Or as most called him:

'Boss.'

He turned Ruggie, somewhat because he hoped the hyena might be able to kill him. Or at least find him someone who could.

The then-mortal had called that 'kinda pathetic, not that I'm one to judge'. It probably should've irked him. But he couldn't seem to care one way or the other, just saying:

"If you're not gonna do it, scram." And rolled over to go back to 'sleep'— as close to it as vampires could get, at least.

When Jack asked him why he didn't want to continue his un-life anymore all he said was: "Can't get any decent sleep as a vampire."

"Whu— THAT'S your reason?!"

"Yup. Now let me take my nap in peace."

Ruggie later said to Jack:

"Leona is older than both of us; who knows, maybe the whole 'immortality' gig gets boring after a while."

Ruggie

Ruggie was turned by Leona in a deal. He just wanted resources: something Leona had in excess, in the form of a by then almost 80-year-old bank account that had remained untouched for about 40.

It was Ruggie who actually helped kick off Leona's rise to power.

He's the one who has to run most of the day-to-day operations because Leona is too depressed and unbothered to do much besides the big stuff— and always demanding to get some of any blood-bags they manage to steal.

Though he wishes the pampered snob leader-man would actually come with on a hunt sometime. It's really not as easy luring mortals far enough away from prying eyes and ears to be able to drain them as he seems to think it is. And stealing blood bags is FAR from a reliable source of food! You really gotta have someone on the inside who can smuggle one or two out now and then. Actually conducting any kind of organized thefts attest WAY too much attention! They can only really hit up one hospital once every few years, then they gotta wait for the media attention to die down and people to forget.

Jack

Jack doesn't remember much before being turned— he doesn't remember who turned him, either.

He was taken in by Leona's clan because he seemed like good muscle, and was pretty loyal to Ruggie after he helped him figure out some good hunting spots, and then by extension loyal to Leona for being a rank above Ruggie.

He knows, somewhat distantly, that he had a family before being turned, and hobbies— which he carried over into undead life— and friends…but that's all he knows. The empty outlines of what once used to be.

But it's very obvious he's quite a young vampire, possibly only having been turned just a couple months ago. He still has priorities like going to college to get an education. Which, while neither Leona nor Ruggie are gonna stop him from doing, it doesn't seem to have sunk in for him yet that it isn't something an immortal vampire SHOULD really have as a priority.

When he was still pretty new to the clan, he turned Epel— his college roommate— at his request. He was not expecting to be scolded for it.

Jack agreed to turn Epel because he respected Epel's desire to be able to fight Vil on even grounds.

Leona had to actually contact Vil, and the two scolded both Epel and Jack— like parents whose kids had done something stupid togehter. Though Vil's 'what were you thinking?!' was a lot different than Leona's 'he's right, it was stupid. Not that I really care; do whatever you want.' which ended up with Vil scolding ALL THREE of them.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Part 1/? of me catching up on kpop reviews... There's something coming out every day, I have to hurry.

Anyway, let's start with Itzy.

First, Algorithm:

Algorithm - it's a pretty good song, very Itzy. Love the MV a lot, and the choreo is nice. 8.5/10

No Biggie - I actually like this song more. I like the chorus a lot, and how Ryujin says "Like you always say, no biggie". 9/10

Overall, it's a strong EP. Itzy's weaker tracks are usually the bsides on their longer albums. These songs are very Itzy, and would do better than their last Korean releases if they weren't in Japanese. People like refreshing and preppy (but not childish like Sneakers, though that song is a bop, idc) more than girl crush or whatever Untouchable is.

Their Ringo album came out last year, but I don't remember talking about it so:

Ringo - fun, strong track, very Japanese Itzy. I like kpop Japanese songs - I like how upbeat and busy the instrumentals always are; the songs tend to be very exciting and in your face. The chorus "Ringo, ringo, ringo" is almost too much, but the song is a bop. 9/10

Sugar-holic - It's pretty. I like the verse "Take it, take it slow, take it easy" because "easy" sounds like "Itzy". 7.7/10

Playlist - not bad, but kind of annoying. 7/10

Style - okay song, sounds very dated. 7/10

Voltage - like it, especially the chorus. 9/10

Spice - cute song, slightly annoying. 7.5/10

Blah Blah Blah - nice song, I like Lia's vocals here. 8.5/10

Can't tie me down - this song is my style, love the bridge ("I burn in the black fire") but every single one of these songs would be much improved with better vocals/vocal tones. 9/10

I think had already reviewed all the songs after Style, but it made sense to look at them again.

The thing with Itzy, and why I personally can't see them suddenly having a moment, is because they don't sound trendy at all - their songs, from their vocal tones (high pitched and very in your face, except for Lia) to the instrumentals (too hyper pop), their styling (boring, dated, has been the same in years), choreos (good, but no point moves, they don't stand out, aren't memorable, don't highlight their skills), their MVs (very average and conventional). Listening to Itzy feels like travelling back to 2019. And since 2019, we've gone through a pandemic, so 2019 might as well be 2010, and Itzy in particular are more 2010 than 2019. Everything about them is extremely outdated. The girls might has well be 40 instead of 20.

I know Itzy has a distinct style, but they need better production and a different creative direction. And even then, I think the members' voices are too loud and shrill, with the exception of Lia. Idols these days have softer vocals. Itzy's vocals have always been a weakness of theirs, but now they stand out even more against newer groups. Itzy have also lost a lot of what made them stand out, thus struggling even more getting people's attention. They used to be known for their dancing, but there are other groups now, like LSFR, with a strong dance line and way more appealing choreos and songs. Aespa, for example, are weaker dancers than Itzy but their choreos are way better and actually stand out. Itzy were also known for live vocals, on top of energetic choreos, but you have Stayc and NMIXX, for example, who sing live too and have better vocals. IVE sings live just as well as Itzy..

JYPE in general needs to get with the times. Twice don't change much either, but they're Twice, so it works way better for them. Same with SKZ.

[little-ature]

places: uluwatu

i never had a thing with bali. i remember visited bali once when i was a kid with my family. we had a long, tiring road trip across java and bali. i remember visiting gwk, berenang at pantai kuta yang warna pasirnya gak impressive, mampir ke tanah lot, dan makan indomie di warung pinggir jalan menghadap ke kintamani. but it wasn't remarkable. or perhaps i was just too little to appreciate the island. i was not impressed, i decided to skip my high school trip to bali and bought a camera instead.

dalam rentang waktu 9 bulan terakhir, ini kali kedua gue ke bali selama menjadi orang dewasa. guess what? akhirnya gue bisa menikmati bali! to be more specific, gue cinta banget berada di uluwatu! september lalu, gue ke bali untuk business trip. i extended the trip since dabi also joined me and we decided to spend a weekend there together. we biked almost 40 km in a day for beach hopping at uluwatu, fine dined, sang and danced until 3 in the morning and went swimming after, and watched the sunniest sunset at bingin. we also explore some other areas like seminyak, canggu, and kuta. but i found uluwatu resonates with my personality and interest amongst all areas. white sand beaches, not too crowded, laid back, a lot of the areas are still raw, untouched, dan banyak pepohonan.

sejak trip itu, gue yakin banget bahwa di trip bali gue yang selanjutnya, gue harus stay lama di uluwatu. so i did on the last long weekend. i had the best 3 days in uluwatu and 2 days in seminyak (again). now, i can conclude that this island is meant for the young adults. being too little, you can't appreciate it enough. being too young, you may not have the opportunity to enjoy the proper experiences as sometimes it can be a little costly (fine dine, great cocktails, great brunch and coffee). too old, you may struggle encountering all those stairs to the beach, not to mention some of the great beaches here are only accessible by bike.

after having a real job, i can appreciate the day offs more. i took the earliest flight in the morning and went straight to the beach after leaving my bags and had a quick bite. dabi and i swam for the whole day, two days straight. i didn't even mind turning 3 shades darker. if not swimming, i occasionally just slept or relaxed by the beach and reading my light non-fiction reads, or simply watch dabi swimming at the ocean. life felt so much better in bali last week. my office problems suddenly felt so insignificant and floated away. the only problems i encountered were only between thinking about what are we having for dinner or when will i go back swimming to the beach. i love being in bali with dabi. i can imagine myself having a sabbatical leave in uluwatu someday. i'd love to learn how to surf. i'd love to spend all day doing nothing, just reading by the beach again. i'd love to explore the other beaches and biked across the areas.. i'd love to stay here for a longer time.

now i'm writing this post in a post-holiday blues.