#I can't bc it's not mine and I want to be in the class. But now I'll have to finish it spoiled and I'm so so upset
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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#Friendly reminder spoiling people really really isn't funny at all#Signed#A privateer who's been upset about getting spoiled for sth#For like 5 hours now#And I don't even want to finish the thing myself anymore#Like I was mad at the minor spoilers I'd gotten from the prompts#But full on spoiler when I'm almost done with it#I'm so tempted to put the book in a shredder and just fuck off about it#Like SO. Tempted.#I can't bc it's not mine and I want to be in the class. But now I'll have to finish it spoiled and I'm so so upset#Like I'd cry if I could upset#Hate that I'm too broke to cry#Okay that's all for the rant tonight thanks for listening
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#lina talks#nas#a little bit of bragging (?) to follow so scroll past perhaps? I just wanted to say it somewhere#............................................................................................................................................#reading a new fic from my favorite ao3 author set in my favorite series by him#and realized that his style has very very much influenced mine - at least what it currently is#and from the moment I finished reading the first story in the series I kinda knew I wanted to write like him#bc the way he writes is so beautiful and it flows just like poetry#but didn't realize the extent of it I guess until now when I'm reading his style againm#just a week or so after I heavily edited my writing workshop submissions to turn in as my final project for the class#kinda just hit me that I can see the influences he had on my writing and that I can also see the improvement I've made in my own style#which is nice :) bc I often do feel frustrated when I can't word things properly or when something sounds weird but I can't figure out why#but that's also a sign of improvement I think#idk I've learned a lot unconsciously and consciously about writing over the past few years and it's just nice to see#thank you for coming to my ted talk skndjgh
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i ruined my own day by expecting it to be good😭
#sis came home in the morning as a surprise and i was so happy i hugged her half asleep#and i actually did homework kal ka so class was so nice and fun and easy to understand and i was like wow aisa hota hai kya#but now#life feels so fuckinh pointless and hopeless and i really don't see the point in being alive anymore i want to throw myself onto oncoming#traffic#but i won't because i know it's so fu king stupid like what 10 cherry picked loser people don't like me so im miserable?? i can't learn how#drive bc i thought i wouldn't need it bc i was getting out of this stupid fucking small town and i feel unaccomplished useless like a huge#fucking waste of space?? this is so unfair im tired of forcing myself in a life that doesn't feel like mine and it's killing me and it's#just never enough#dni
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Coming back after being almost a week without electricity, phone, and internet connection. Huge storms with lightning and rain, and winds. We have never have winds like that here and the roof of so many houses were ripped off, stuff flying, etc. All this bc global warming, and the deforestation and mining in our lands. At this rate, in 5 years we will have tornadoes, a thing we have never ever have here. Nor our lands, infrastructures, states, and culture are prepared for this. Areas of the country are devastated, ppl have died, many are without electricity nor Internet connection so they are isolated. The houses are flooding with water, and the ones that not, are leaking from the ceiling. Too many neighbours and compatriots don't have roofs and the streets are full of fallen trees and pieces of roof material, no electricity, no signal, food rotting, but suffering at the same time for the cold of this terrible winter, and trying to do something, patching even when its gonna go to hell when the storm comes again this next days. More than 33,200 people affected and 41,500 isolated due to 5 days of rain and windstorms. In just a couple of days there were 170,000 homes left without power due to wind and rainstorms and even more as time went by.
If u want to help me to fix the roof, walls, to buy food and being warm this winter please check my PayPal. If u can't donate, please reblog bc thats the only way to make this being seen by ppl thus receiving help. I'm really not being able to keep living like this, i can no longer cope, so please share.
Here are in my PayPal or MACH . I took the kofi link bc they were charging me a fee.
Please, educate about global warming and the effects on Global South, specially for working class, chronically ill, autistic, disable, and long covid survivor ppl like myself.
Edit: I added links and pics
Edit: the weather is better (is finally spring at this current date 24th nov), but I still need to fix were I live/sleep bc the walls are broken and one of the walls is not a wall, but like 1cm wide stuff and all was bad build so even the door is twisted and dont work correctly, there is black mold that i think is damaging my ears, the paint is falling, the lamp has fallen, everything is broken and ugly, etc. I still need to buy food, meds, and everything so please, please, share or donate if you could. I don't want to survive like this and here, no one mask even when they were the ones giving me covid and they have making me also catch flu the other day bc they cogh over everything and don't care if they kill me, they are abusive and really violent people and are working to put me and everyone in danger. I dont even want to be in my country bc we will have a dictatorship soon, but I have nowhere else to go nor money to migrate (i need like $10.537 dollars or € 9.760,95 euros to pay all the documents, the bank money I have to show to prove I am a human being deserver of rights, the tickets, rent money and stuff to migrate).
I currently have $100 dollars donated (coz i spent 40 in food and meds this past month)
I know i will die here, but at least help me to survive in a less dehumanising way.
Edit: tumblr has blocked me from recive or send messages from the chat and comment of posts, so if you are trying to reach throughout there I can't see it, sorry, I'm cut from any communication (cant even see past messages from chat or asks), except send asks. I'm waiting that tumblr do something, but still hasn't even answered the help file I sent to them.
#global warming#shot of stress#signal boost#support request#support one another#artist in need#disabled#chronic illness#community#health#housing#life#ecology#trans support#covid survivor#long covid#cpunk#autistic#actually autistic#latino#latinoamérica#food insecurity#suicideprevention#emergency#house#living#natural disasters#floods#political exile#political persecution
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i shifted accidentally for the first time last night 😭
it wasn't my first time shifting, but it was my first time shifting on accident to a reality completely unknown to me 😭 Anyway here's that (long, quite detailed) story time !! (with reaction pics of course 😋)
i was so tired last night, and i had to wake up at 7AM today, i wanted my mind to be quiet so i could fall asleep easily and not have any vivid/random dreams (they make it so i can't rest well)
my subconscious with a different plan:
i remember being asleep here, lying on my bed and the darkness of my room, and all of the sudden i was standing in front of a white haired professor in a school in JAPAN !!!
now I don't have any japanese drs, or am close to anything japanese for that matter (i dont watch anime, etc etc) i think maybe i thought how i'd like to go to a tokyo grand prix for five seconds yesterday but that was it 😭 there was absolutely no reason for me to have woken up in a different country AND AT A SCHOOL !! for that matter like i genuinely have no idea what happened.
ANYWAYS...
the professor just talked about how i was new and my professors, and classmates, and all (i don't remember exactly what he said but when i woke up i knew it was an introductory "welcome to this school talk) and sent me to a classroom where i got way too worked up about a sexist mf, i kinda yelled at him for being sexist and the shit he was saying.
(i didn't YELL i confronted him and told him his ideology was stupid and might've given him (thrown...ish) some stuff to him but it was on topic i promise it was more like i landed him... some trash... like i put it at his feet for him to pick up okay, let's move on)
then i left that class !! but it was just as other classes were about to begin and another guy that had been in that class with me dragged me into another classroom because he had liked me (he didn't say it but he was rlly nice to me so i assumed he liked me) (liked me as in yk he didn't hate me after the whole class confrontation, i just had so he wasn't as bad as that other mf !!, im not saying he fell in love w me just in case anybody gets confused) (also the classroom wasn't empty he just had another class and dragged me along with him)
in that classroom he told me to put my hood on (i was wearing a black cotton jacket with a hood on it, we didn't have uniforms) and to not draw too much attention to myself (it was an all boys class, so if the professor found out im a girl she would've kicked me out and tbh idk what i would've done 😔)
and then the teacher came in, (i wanna describe her bc she was sooo,,, teacher core LMAO she had a big nose, glasses, red hair up, burgundy sweater and a white sort of lab coat thingy) introduced the class, and said she was going to play a movie, closed the class curtains and that's when i started remembering i had shifted here.
she played the movie (looking back at it now, i think they might've picked up from where they had left off in a previous class)
it was a movie with rupert grint where he was an adult and he had discovered like a magical realm, i remember i thought of harry potter (bc of rupert) and knowing that had never existed there, he had never been ron. There was also a blonde woman (gorgeous long blonde hair kinda looked like tilda swinton) and a little girl that was somehow related to Rupert's character.
I realized that movie didn't exist in this reality and that's when I sort of began panicking and remembered i had Actually shifted there
I decided to check my 5 senses but then I realized I don't know the steps to do it....
like i have to 5 what 4 what 3 what 2 what 1 what
so i just touched the desk where i was sitting, i touched the paper from the boy's notebooks and more stuff i can't remember, i remember wanting to touch the pencils inside the pencilcases but I couldn't be loud + those weren't mine !! and then i breathed in a couple times
and then i opened my eyes here again
now I know that stuff really doesn't work for me it just brings me back to my dr, because im just trying to remember what the tiktok i saw on this reality about the 5 senses method said 😭
ALSO !!
something i didn't mention is that when I walked into the second classroom, i got nervous when i realized it was an all boys class. I don't know what the class was on, i was looking around frantically, the curtains surprised me they were dark and i had never seen dark gray curtains in a classroom (what a stupid culture shock 😭)
when the teacher came in i put my hair on my eyes to FAKE A FRINGE !!! I didn't listen to her at all when she began the class, and then another guy with big blue eyes was mouthing something to me and the boy behind me, the boy i was with said "he's deaf just read his lips"
MF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ LIPS ?!?
so now im nervous as fuck about not being able to read his lips and looking like an asshole that doesn't want to talk to deaf people
all while trying not to get kicked out of this class !!
it was A Lot of information to take in 😭 no wonder i shifted back i was being silly af
also THEN i shifted to a reality where my phone had barely charged (it had a decent amount of battery after i shifted, it went from 75% at 5AM when i woke up from my shift to 25% at 7AM)
#shifting#shifting story#shifting story time#story time#shift#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting reality#reality shift#reality shifting#shifters#shifting diary#master manifestor#loa#law of assumption#loa blog
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Fighting in The Streets, Fucking in The Sheets
Lee Juyeon x Male Reader
cw: college au, top juyeon, enemies to lovers prompt, kinda fluffy sex, fluff at the end, fingering, blowjob, spit as lube, unprotected sex, creampie.
an: decided to stop using the / in yn bcs it's so annoying and i'm lazy.
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yn is one of the best student of class A, he is one of those feisty nerds who is not afraid to stand up against someone who is bothering him.
on the other side there's lee juyeon, the polar opposite. he is a lazy person who doesn't do anything in class, he just sits in the back to do nothing with his friends, he is not a bully but if he has to confront someone he will do it.
“ok class silence” shouted the teacher "today i’m going to assign you a homework and it would be in pairs, and no juyeon you can go back to your seat, i'm the one choosing them" she said with a devilish smile while juyeon went back to his seat silently.
“... and finally lee juyeon with ln yn”, “please no” yn shouted “anyone but that good-for-nothing, can i do it alone please?", "good-for-nothing? who are you calling a good-for-nothing son of a bit-".
“well, both of you, shut up” the teacher cut juyeon's speech “i don't care if you can't stand each other's asses, but i'm waiting for that homework on my desk the other week, did you hear?" she said sternly.
“hey loser, your house or mine?” asked juyeon while chewing gum, “mine of course i don't want to put my feet on your pigsty house” said y/n laughing at the other's red angry face. “this bitch” juyeon spit out his chewing gum towards the other male and then grabbed him by his collar and cornered him towards a wall. "listen to me, you idiot, i'm not interested in doing a homework with you either, but i don't want to lose the subject, so yes or yes, we have to do it." juyeon let go of yn and when he turned out to leave a hand smacked his head “you forgot your gum dumbass” a scandalous laugh left yn's mouth only to be silenced seconds later by juyeon's fist.
someone was knocking on the door and yn already had an idea who it was and despite he does not want to, he would have to receive him. he opened the door and there he was, juyeon with light scratches in his beautiful face "ugh you look like shit" yn says with a disgusted face. juyeon just looks at him with a frown "and you look like diarrhea. let me in".
the room was in an awkward silence, both avoided looking at themselves while they concentrated on finishing the task. yesterday after juyeon hit yn, the fight continued for a few moments. the nerd managed to leave some light bruises and scratches on juyeon's face but he was the most affected, his lower lip was split, he have a small bruise next to his eye and some scratches in his cheeks.
yn accidentally hurts his lip from which blood begins to flow, juyeon is shocked by this and grabs the sleeve of his jacket to put pressure on the wound "you are doing a lot for a simple cut. it's not like my heart is going to burst out over there" yn murmurs. "can you shut up for once in your life?.. do you have anything to apply in your wound?" juyeon asks and yn just points to where the first aid kit is.
“there, it's done” juyeon puts the items in the kit but still keeps staring at yn's lips. the tension begins to increase… until juyeon throws himself towards yn eating his mouth. at first he resisted but when after feeling the other's soft lips he simply let himself go and began to enjoy the sensation. “eager much?” joked yn, “hmm” said juyeon introducing his fingers on the other's mouth “make that mouth of yours useful”.
clothes were discarded very quickly, both were desperate for each other, finally being capable of breaking the tension that was being built up since god knows when.
one by one each digit entered yn's hole, juyeon making a scissors motion to open the hole. "so tight for me" he laughed, showing that perfect smile to the feisty nerd. "i wonder what you taste like" and without any warning juyeon took yn's dick into his mouth, savoring the almost salty taste of his pre-cum “just as i imagined” he smacked his lips..
juyeon's tip is entering yn's hole “you're still so fucking tight relax a bit” growled the top, resting his forehead on yn's shoulder. “it's easy for you to say that you're not the one being wrecked right now” yn cried. with subtle movements juyeon started thrusting “for being a bully you're being very gentle” the words slurred out of yn's mouth. “i'm not a bully for you information” immediately after saying that, juyeon kissed the other boy to shut him up. “spit here” demanded juyeon and the other guy obeyed. juyeon then spits on that same hand, pulls out his cock and smears it with the saliva mixture, causing gushy and sloppy sounds when he introduces it again.
they were in a doggy style position now, juyeon's hands started to leave marks on yn's hips as he was squeezing him very hard due to his rough thrusts. “please harder” moaned yn “i need you… to feel you” at this point yn was admitting that he had already imagined doing this with juyeon and this didn't went unnoticed by the top who kissed the other's back and whispered “i need you too”.
the skin slapping sound was loud, juyeon slammed himself hard on yn's ass, his hands being marked on the ass cheeks in a bright red color. “i'm feeling so good. do you feel good too?” grunted the top. “yeah… yeah i do- so good i feel so goo-hngh…” moaned the bottom.
juyeon started to pull out and then slam his cock back in a few times until he began to feel that he was going to cum "shit i’m going to cum" he takes out his cock and begins to stroke his dick so fast looking for that delicious sensation "fuck–" he grunted spilling all his cum over yn's hole that opened and closed as if it wanted to eat the other's seed.
“shit nerd i came a lot” he said catching his breath, “now it's your turn, cum for me”. yn began to stroke his hard dick, hooded and teary eyes looking directly at juyeon's ones. the katter trying to help him to release spat on his tip and then sucked on his balls “come on, cum for me” seconds later the white liquid came out of the tip of his dick, staining the other's face with it, "yummy" said the other, sucking the sensitive dick until it was clean…
the following days the relationship between them improved, going from one of rivals to one of friends with benefits that slowly transformed into one of lovers. juyeon was playing a football game and when he scored a goal, he ran towards where the audience was, more exactly where yn was sitting. he took out a bouquet of flowers and a sign from god knows where that said 'yn do you want to be my boyfriend?' the entire audience screamed with excitement. the boy blushed and felt a bit embarrassed, however, he responded excited "yes, i really want to” he came down from the stands running towards the boy to give him a kiss full of love.
#lee juyeon x male reader#juyeon x male reader#juyeon x male reader smut#lee juyeon x male reader smut#male reader#kpop x male reader#kpop x male reader smut#smut#male reader smut
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DID YOU SEE THESE Ah-
I love nerd reader x mean girl wonyoung BUT LISTEN! NERD WONY X popular reader would be 🛐
UGGHHH SHE WOULD BE SO CUTE?? 🥺🥺 you being one of those very rare popular girls who's actually nice and talks to everybody of any status including wony's nerdy ass 😭 instead of being strangers, imagine the two of you actually being pretty familiar with each other, having been grouped with projects and all that and she has like, a cute lil crush on you 💞 her blushing every time you chat with her before your classes start, and she definitely giggles and kicks her feet in the air in bed whenever she thinks about you... what a loser 😭
i like to think that nerd wony can be a bit of a perv too... like you would be texting her about some random interesting thing that happened earlier in the day and she'd have her hand inside her panties, massaging her clit and whimpering as she read your cute messages 🫠🫠 definitely gets off to your pics on insta too... fingering herself while looking at even the most innocent pic you have on your account, like you with a pet 🤭 has tons of sex dreams about you bcs you're all she thinks about 🤤 she even daydreams about you fucking her while you're talking face-to-face! she wants you to bend her over the desk and spank her ass so bad 😩😩
wony stays crushing on you in secret for a long time bcs she can't seem to build up the courage to try her shot with you ☹️ especially knowing the fact that she's ruined a lot of her panties with her slick just by thinking about you... wony thinks she's such a weirdo, but ofc you don't! but wony didn't know of your feelings until you invited her over for a party with some other people in your guys' program! wony getting so drenched bcs you kept putting your hands on her :(( whether it was her back, her waist, her thigh... every touch made her pussy clench, she needed you so bad :((( nothing actually happening until both of you are hiding away at some dark corner?? with you being so close to her, she just couldn't help but put her lips right up your ear,, "will you fuck me already, (y/n)?" and she wasn't even buzzed or anything!
and trust that as soon as your house is empty, wony will be all over you—like she's pulling you to your own room?? you didn't know she could be so bold! 🤭🤭 pushing you down to your bed, climbing onto your lap, grinding her pelvis against yours while she kisses you desperately :((( she's so whiny too :((( hands on your neck and longs legs locked around your waist, keeping you still as if you'd want to be anywhere else but with her 😩
see... you'd think that with how long wony has been pining for you, she'd want you to fuck her like she was nothing but :((( she actually loved how you were so soft with her??? giggling in between kisses, praises leaving your lips every second you watched her as you fingered her :((( "mmhm... you're so tight, baby. you made sure to save yourself for me, huh?" and she clenches around your digits even more 💞💞 covers her face with her hands when you show her your hand that was completely drenched with her juices 🤭 but she watches as you slowly lick and suck your fingers one by one, humming at how delicious she tasted... fuck, wony was horny beyond control 😵💫😵💫
never once broke eye contact with you while you went down on her 🫠 wony absolutely loved the look of hunger in your eyes, eating her pussy like it was the one good meal you'll ever have... "this pretty pussy's mine.. you got that, wonyoung-ah?" you whispered against her cunt before catching her little clit between your lips,, and the sight of wony's eyes rolling to the back of her head as she came undone on your mouth was such a turn on thay you ended up moaning when she climaxed... 😳😳
ok but like??? wony making you fuck her all night??? she's waited months for this, she wasn't just gonna let it be a one-night stand! you didn't complain when wony pleaded for your touch for the umpteenth time, however... you've crushed on her for a long time too, and this was just the beginning 🫣
#ive smut#ive imagines#ive x fem reader#ive x reader#jang wonyoung smut#jang wonyoung x reader#jang wonyoung imagines#jang wonyoung x fem reader#wonyoung imagines#wonyoung x reader#wonyoung smut#wonyoung x fem reader#girl group x reader#girl group imagines#girl group smut
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tristan dugray with baby fever
STOOOOOOOP PLEASE PLEASE KEEP GOING
no bc we've already established a LOT about Tristin. he's dedicated. obsessivley so, even. once he HAS you he doesn't get jealous in a petty way as much as in a puffing out his chest birds acting eccentric to defend their turf way. when he gets jealous the pda goes in FULL SWING. he is so shameless and has just a little sprinkle winkle of bull energy. so you would think that his baby fever comes from this obsessive lovey dovey I want everyone to look at you and know you're mine place right???????? not quite. like it does but not till later. Tristin's baby fever is soul crushingly gut punchingly triggered by watching you interact with a little kid. Chilton is a k-12 school, so this probably started late in your senior year. there was some little kid who was new and got horribly lost and ended up in the high school building instead of the kindergarten building. you and Tristin saw her hiding behind a bench and you stopped to help her. Tristin stood nearby, watching the way you crouched down and introduced yourself in a gentle voice, the softness of your demenor to not scare her. you told her you get lost all the time, and it's normal for a new school to feel scary until you get used to it. you smooth her hair and tell her chilton is really fun and the other kids are nice. you tell her how great the cafeteria is and how cool the junglegym is at recess. you offer to help her find her kindergarten room, and Tristin watches with wide eyes and changing brain chemistry as you scoop up this adorable little kid wearing a backpack as big as she is and walk over to him.
"This is my friend Tristin. Tristin, this is Lilly. Do you wanna walk with us to the kindergarten building?"
Lilly tries to say hi but hides shyly as you chuckle. Tristin walks with you two all the way across campus as you two show Lilly all the cool statues and portraits, all the old trophys and class photos along the way. Tristin works his magic, charming giggles and smiles out of Lilly as you two turn a terrible first day into a pretty good one. You each hold one of her hands and swing her along as you finally reach the kindergarten building, smiling and giggling right along with her until she's safely dropped off at her kindergarten room. Mrs. Benning, the teacher, thanks both of you profusely. Before you part ways, you give Lilly a hug and high five for good luck. Mrs. Benning sends ahead a note so neither of you get in trouble for missing class, and I swear to god, Tristin does not stop thinking about it for weeks.
Flash forward a couple years, Tristin is almost out of college and ready to step into the marketing department of the family business, just like his parents and grandparents planned. One day he gets a call from his dad, telling him that his cousin Honor's baby shower is coming up soon, giving him the details of when to be there and what to bring, but he kind of stops listening after that. Honor's having a baby? like, his cousin Honor? the one that's not too much older than you and him? he stares at you sitting on the floor in front of a mirror, doing your makeup and wearing one of his shirts with the coffee he made you at your side, and suddenly he can't stop thinking about a little toddler that looks just like the both of you running over and sitting in your lap while you do your makeup. calling you mama, shaking a rattle or whatever toddlers play with, wearing those little pajamas with the feet on them... and now it's all he can think about. he knows his dad and grandpa have had his life planned out for him since before he was born, he always knew the timeline was graduate, marriage, kids, take over the family business and he really never had like... a resentful "I hate my destiny" phase with it. Up until high school he was very much in the "oh that's years away that doesn't have anything to do with me and my life yet" mindset. then he met you. and now, standing in the doorway of your shared bedroom in your shared apartment watching you get ready, Tristin is overcome with desire. he wants you. he wants a life with you, he wants to hear you say that he's the father of your child. he wants an unbreakable, irreversable bond of every possible kind with you. chemical, social, legal, eveything. he wants to cuff you, to lock you in. he wants to sleep at night knowing that your and his babies, toddlers, kids, are sleeping soundly in their cozy rooms right down the hall, that you get to sleep next to your husband Tristin, the father of your children Tristin. he wants to hear people call you Mrs. Dugray, wants to bump up his old man to a grandpa, prove to his dad how a dad should treat his children. he wants to break the godforsaken generation cycle that always seems to come with the generational wealth, and raise your kids to be loved and happy and secure. and in that moment, he speedran through all the stages of baby fever to stage 4 extreme terminal the baby fever is baby fevering kinda baby fever. god help you, the (surprisingly short) span of time between now and when you get pregnant???? he's going to be more insufferable than ever.
I will be writing more about how insufferable and nightmare and evil /pos tristin is with baby fever just not in this ask cause it's getting too long. send me more excuses to talk about this.
#drabbles#tristin dugray#tristin dugray x reader#tristin dugray drabbles#baby fever#gilmore girls#gilmore girls drabbles#gilmore girls x reader#dad!tristin dugray#tristin with baby fever is a NIGHTMAREEEEEE#AUUUUGHHHHHHH HES SO CHARMING#he's so so so he's so he's he's heeeee'ssssss#“aww look how cute mary... think we could do better?”#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Hi!! Can I request jealous Jordan li where reader is spending a lot of time with someone else, maybe for a school project or something and Jordan notices and is like, nope, not happening, this one's mine bc they're so in love with reader and want all of the attention
Whew, that was a lot, haha,
Thank you!!!!
*not sure if u want established partners or situationship w feelings or something else, but i think imma go with situationship bc thats always the vibe for jordan lol if u want more established relationship lmk*
Debate club was a sensible extracurricular, and you had been doing it since your school stopped having model UN in 9th grade. It wasn't your favorite thing in the world, but you liked to argue, so it worked out. This week, you were arguing the "for" case with your teammate for the semester, Blake Mathers. He's a grating sophomore with floppy hair, and telekinesis powers you've only seen him use to enable his own laziness. The head of the club was nice enough, but he was insistent on "teamwork" when you'd much rather write alone. It was exhausting, trying to filter your thoughts and opinions, and allowing others to shine was not your style.
You try to pay attention to what Blake was saying about the topic, but all you were thinking about was Jordan Li. Ever since you made out at one of Dusty's infamous parties, they had invaded your senses and your thoughts. They'd catch you staring during class, or you'd wear a tiny skirt to a party, and you'd end up in a closet, or a car, or a bedroom, all limbs and heavy breathing.
"Um, hello? Did you hear me?" You shake your head.
"Sorry. Say that again?"
"The argument we wrote yesterday. It's gone - my computer got fucked." Ah, crap. This is the second time Blake's stupidity has made you re-do work. You'd done some research at the start of the week, and he'd forgotten to mention the topic had been changed. You sigh.
"Well, fuck. Alright, let's go back to the library then." You turn around and start walking, trying not to show your disappointment. You'd been hoping to "run into" Jordan at the JitterBean - hence the tight-ass skinny jeans.
Waste of an outfit, you think bitterly, pushing open the glass doors and setting up at the table that you and Blake had been using to do your assignments. Thankfully you'd saved your notes from yesterday, so you began reconstructing your argument while Blake screwed off.
You weren't paying much attention to what he was doing until you saw him fucking with Justine. Now there's some bullying you can get behind. You giggle, and watch as he makes another paper airplane fly around her head. She glares over at him and storms out, which makes you laugh out loud. The librarian glares, and you exchange a guilty look with Blake before getting back into writing.
The afternoon goes by easily after that. You were vaguely aware of other students milling about or studying nearby, but you were in the zone. Finally, at almost 8, the argument was done, and you saved it in multiple places just in case.
You wave goodbye to Blake, happy that the session went reasonably ok and the work was done. Saturday's debate was going to be a blast.
"Have fun on your little date with Mathers?" Jordan was leaning against the outside wall of the library, expression unreadable.
"Is the infamous Jordan Li jealous?" Their eyes harden slightly.
"Not jealous, just lookin out for you. He's a moron." They begin walking beside you, not acknowledging how unhinged they were behaving. Just looking out for you? If they weren't so damn hot, you might slap them. But the fact that they were asking meant.... something, right? You ignored how that made your heart swoop and just kept walking.
"We have debate club together, and he keeps fucking shit up, that's all." You say, in spite of yourself. If you were smarter, you'd let them wonder what you were doing with him. But you couldn't keep from looking at them, and feeling disappointed you can't make out any relief in their eyes. But then, their arm is snaked around your waist and their lips are at your ear.
"You wear those skin fucking tight jeans to just study with him?" You grit your teeth, forcing your mouth to not say what you wanted so desperately to say: 'No, I wore them for you, and you're clearly the idiot if you can't tell that I am so wrapped around your finger that I will dress up just in case I see you.' and just roll your eyes instead. They let their hand slide from your waist to your back pocket, daring you to stop them. And of course you don't. With every inch their hand travels, your heart skips another beat. When they squeeze your ass ever so slightly, a whimper sneaks out before you can stop it.
And with that, you're being pressed against a tree and their lips are on your neck.
"Fuck, J." You curse as their teeth sink into your skin.
"You're mine, baby. Only mine." They murmur in your ear.
"Always have been." You say back, almost moaning as they continue their assault on your neck. They pull away at this.
"Yeah? That why you're spending all your time with Mathers and co instead of me, in such," They pause to run their hands on your hips, pulling you tight against them. "delicious clothes."
"I thought you weren't jealous." You murmur, sliding your hand up their back. "But I wore these, and what's underneath, for you and you alone. He's just a moron who's forced me to re-do my work twice this week alone."
"Oh, you poor baby. Let me take you up and make everyone hear who really owns you." You barely hold back a moan as they drag you up to your dorm to fulfill their promise.
#jordan li#gen v#gen v prime#jordan li x reader#gen v smut#gen v fic#jordan li imagine#request#reqs open
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How am I racist? Other people are constantly trying to get through to you about transmisogyny and you instead choose to constantly try and hide behind being black, acting like that makes you immune from transmisogyny. You can still hurt transfems of any race with the way you talk about opression. You think men are an opressed class who's so so victimized by the mean women and fems of the world that you wont listen to those same actually opressed women.
Maybe if you were more willing to listen onstead of bloack a bunch of us every time we disagreed with you, you would u deratand how you're perpetuating more misogyny than any trans woman/fem whos using a few words not perfectly.
Btw, the standards you put on our words isn't fair and then you turn around and demand we be okay when your word litteraly implues we can opress you.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
How are you racist? How are you r a c i st?? You have to be kidding me! This must be a joke. Your laugh of the day. Your haha of the week.
I d not hide behind being black. Youre sick for implying that. Like many black people before me I beg my community to remember the nuances that come with my race when they talk and a bunch of them spit in my fucking face. They tell me they want the right to opress me (As if their whiteness doesn't already allow that) or they try and argue how another class of trans women is still below me in their sick opression math. They are not below me because this is not a ranking of who has it worse. Me and trans women are working together to rid the world of transphobia.
I have never on my ENTIRE blog said that men are so opressed by women. Words in my mouth moment!! I have said that the patriarcy, a system of opressions, opresses men and encourages the worst in human behavior to survive and be safe.
Those womens opression doesn't matter more than mine. All of our opression matters equal ly. We are all fighting for our rights and safet. There is no reason we need to form a line and force someone to wait a turn. I am not speaking over woman to call out the abuse to to trans men, trans masc, and other nonbinary people. Nor is it speaking over women to make sure intersex voices are included and heard when its said that negtive stereotypes and standards of men hurt them too.
Funny you claim I block all of you but you seem to have no clue how many have me blocked on the word of a racist discourse blog or who blocked me after I rightfully call out their racist remarks. It grossed me out that you assume I can't hold good faith discussion and not that maybe some of you blocked me first for talking at all. Also lmao guilt tripping me for using my block feature to keep my spaces safe and comfortable. Why, did I block your main and you've bee seething?
I'm not bothered by a few incorrect words. I'm litterally pissed at the racism, exorsexism, and blantant transphobia thats been thrown my way and the way of many other trans people at this point in an attempt to stop us from speaking about opression that affects us.
*Slow clap* What standard? The standard not to write transphobic ass shit about trans men/masc? Where you blantanly lie about our experiences ? To the point you're also lying about our nonbinary experiences? To the point where your lying about intersex and multigender and even sometimes other different trans womens experiences? I watch this happen in resl time and you have the audacity to ckme in my inbox and tell me I'm word policong you? Right before admitting you don't want us to have our word bc you still won't learn it's definition!! Fuck.
I am proud of myself. I am so proud of my beautiful nonbinary black fucking ass that you WISH you could have what I do.
#g speaks#transandrophobia#transphobia#racism#racist anons#exorsexism#intersexism#sorry to the transandrophobia tag for so many anons im done now tho#i just got like a lot and im so tired im snapping a lil on some of em#okay bedtime
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only halfway thru the new frieren episode i was almost tearing up because the theme of protecting each other and caring about life more importantly than winning is so poignant. not all the characters are human in species but once again the humanity is blossoming in frieren's story. i was so afraid they'd actually get killed last ep but i mean it's so funny now what was i even thinking. this is frieren. they won't kill unless it was really necessary.
the reveal that richter raised the platform not to make his fight with lawline and kanne easier but actually to protect them from denken's attacks was so good. the "magic is nothing if you cannot imagine it" line is so wonderful because i'm a big fan of magic systems that revolve around that logical "science-y" aspect of like. understanding how it will work in order to do it. (same reason why i love the magic in "world's greatest assassin".) laufen getting caught by frieren even though she knows it's a trap just bc she didn't want denken to get hurt was also so good. the reveal that denken didn't have a grander motive to be a first class mage beyond "i wanna go back to my hometown and visit the cementary there but only first class mages are allowed to enter" was so painfully human and so reflective of real life. it also strikes you because he was introduced as a high-profile, politically influential mage.
i love what denken says about not going out without a fight. i love that the episode ends in a fistfight for him. i love it when media uses fistfights and punching in such an emotionally-charged human way, beyond the violence, instead depicting it as some sort of catharsis really. because sometimes all you need is a good rough n tumble. in denken's case, it's his way of not giving up without a fight. i like that. i also like that this was foreshadowed by denken telling laufen to cut the tree down instead of trying to cut the restraint. "we don't have any mana" "neither do they". sometimes all it takes is to find a differently way to approach your problems and sometimes the solution is simpler than you think.
i'm a big fan of frieren breaking the barrier because she thought it was unfair to cut kanna (and by extension lawline) out of her source of magic, giving her an unfair disadvantage and honestly a handicap. it's a short part of the episode but it's so important, because it shows that if people are given the right tools and the accessibility, they can do for themselves what they want and need to do. i love that frieren is like "can you imagine winning against a water manipulating mage with water around? i can't."
i'm a fan of how the "basic" combat and defensive magic are depicted and treated as in this show. yes, people more on from traditions, but traditions are there in the first place. richter's explanation of magic history in their world provides an insight to how modern magic evolved from the foundations. but the foundations were still foundations for a reason. they made it a point with fern saying "frieren doesn't restrict me from spells" (even tho it was the setup for a small joke) that the point isn't to pick a side between tradition vs modern, but rather to learn from both and decide for yourself what you want to apply to yourself. the depiction of fern and frieren winning with traditional magic and richter and kanne overwhelming each other with modern magic makes it clear that the show isn't trying to preach to either side.
i also like the theme of "pursuing magic out for the sake of magic is enough". it's nice to hear that denken shares this mindset with frieren, because again he was introduced as someone influential and you'd think he thinks like he could use magic as a source of power. and that's the impression i got of him too from previous episodes, but a lot of first impressions of mine were proven wrong later and i'm so happy for that bc these characters have so much depth packed into them in so little time.
what else have i missed...
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stanford sam is my bf who wears shirts slightly too small and i can see a sliver of his tummy and his happy trail and if not that it’s the sweaters a little too big so he has mini sweater paws and he goes to all of my games and he always takes me to ice cream afterwards win or lose he’s just so proud always. helps with my classwork bc he wants me to pass my classes and knows i’m busy with sports and a job (he definitely works on a cafe near campus too whoever came up with that ily) and we take a morning jog together and we grab breakfast before class and i visit him when he’s at work and we watch shitty shows together hoping to find a series worth watching and we watch bad horror movies. the simplicities <3
anon you can't start with that . you can't start with stanford sam wear shirts slightly too small so i can see a sliver of his tummy and his happy trail.... and if not that... it's the sweaters a little too big so he has mini sweater paws..... you can't start like that i'll go coo coo crazy and die. and before dying i sob on the floor because he's not real and he's not mine. except he is. he's real and he's mine just because i said so.
GAWD smooches for your brain because this is basically everything i think about... the simplicities !!! always always the simplicities. i can't even get enough of them with him. never never ever.
him taking you out to ice cream after all your games :(((( i'm actually sobbing at that, it's so cute :(( wagh i love helpful studious sam...
omg sam would love love love a partner who'd go on morning jogs with him, or at least walks that's so sweet. actually i need all of this so bad i need him to be happy and able to enjoy the small things. crying about him now :(( i adore him to no end sigh <333
#also cafe worker stanford sam was 💐anon!! <33#. >> asks !#. >> sammy !#. >> lovely anons !#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester
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Eddie Munson x cheerleader! Reader, Reader breaks up Eddie bc her mom forced her too, she didn't want her daughter, captain of there cheer squad to be with Eddie Munson, both of them are having a bad time without each other, reader can't sleep bc she feels guilty, and she ends up going with her best friends: Robin and Steve, she explains to them what happened and all about her mom, Steve and Rob make a plan, at the end Robin tells reader that she needs to go to the drama room, where Eddie is, and she locks them in there , and Eds says he doesn't want to lose her and that he loves herand they start dating again, despite Reader's mom being pissed off
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3
Mom
The second Y/N set her eyes on Eddie Munson it would cause nothing but trouble for herself. He looked like a boy she shouldn't bring home to mom. But that didn't stop her from falling in love.
She spent months sneaking out of her window, Eddie waiting for her in his van. They'd sneak off to anywhere they wanted. She was smitten with him and she couldn't believe he felt the same for her. She knew her mom wouldn't approve, Eddie lived too much of a different lifestyle. He wasn't born rich, wasn't at the top of his classes, and he did things her mother would never support. But she loved him and she wanted to make it work.
She knew she couldn't sneak past her mom for too long, she'd get caught. But she wasn't prepared to lose Eddie.
"Who do you keep sneaking off with?" Y/N froze as she climbed into her bedroom. Her mom was waiting for her on the bed.
"Chrissy is having boyfriend troubles, and I know you wouldn't let me see her but she needed me." Y/N lied, taking off her shoes
"Funny enough, I called Chrissy's mom, and Chrissy was sleeping. So who were you with?" Her mom pushed. Y/N panicked as she was caught in her lie. Chrissy always lied for her but she didn't think about Chrissy's mom ratting her out.
"No one! I needed a walk to clear my head. All this perfect daughter shit is draining me. I wanted fresh air and I know you'd refuse to let me be alone so I said I was with Chrissy." She lied again. But her mother didn't look convinced.
"Clearing your head with Eddie Munson?" Y/N froze as the name left her mother's lips.
"What?"
"I'm not stupid, young lady. You are out there meeting up with Eddie Munson. Doing god knows what kind of drugs. No daughter of mine will be mixed in with a kid like him." Her mother ranted, standing up as she got in Y/N's face.
"A kid like him? What is that supposed to mean!" Y/N scoffed.
"He lives in the trailer park! Who knows what disease he's carrying. I've heard bad things about him, drugs and devil shit. You are NOT seeing him ever again, do you hear me?" Y/N watched in horror as her mom unplugged her phone, snatching the cords with her.
"You will not call him, talk to him, and you will not leave this house for anything other than school and cheer!"
"MOM! That's not fair! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME A PRISONER HERE! I love him and we want to be together. He's not a bad guy! If you met him, you'd see he isn't at all what people describe him to be!" Y/N screamed, but everything she said went on deaf ears.
"I'M YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY! YOU ARE BREAKING UP WITH HIM AND NEVER SEEING HIM AGAIN."
~~~
Eddie tried to be understanding of the break up. He knew it tore her apart just as much as it did him. He wanted to make it easier for her, hold her and tell her it's alright. He knew he wasn't the type that parents liked. And he knew he wasn't good enough for her.
It killed him to see her walking around the halls, knowing he couldn't walk up and kiss her anymore. The reality that they are broken up and she wasn't his anymore.
Her mom kept her a prisoner. The second cheer ended, her mom was outside the school waiting. Her mom never gave back her phone, she couldn't call Eddie if she wanted to.
The more time passed, and the more they were apart, she realized he was more important than whatever her mom wanted from her. She could barely sleep, the guilt ate her alive. She hated that she picked her mom over Eddie. She knew Eddie tried his best to make it easier, but she didn't deserve that. She could have fought. She should have shown Eddie he was more important and she'd do anything to make their relationship work. But she didn't, she just let her mom win.
Y/N talked to Robin about everything, her guilt, hatred towards her mom, and disappointment within herself. Robin knew that Eddie was hurting through it all, and no separation would heal either. Robin asked Y/N to trust her, so she did.
Now she stood in the drama room with Eddie across from her. His swollen eyes and red nose. His hair was a mess, but that was normal. She felt nervous to speak first, almost like he'd snap the second she opened her mouth.
"I miss you," he whispered, as he opened his arms. An invitation to throw herself in his arms, which she accepted. She dashed into his arms, gripping it tightly as she breathed in his scent.
"I miss you so much." She felt his arms wrap tighter around her, a hand in her hair as he tried to be as close as possible to her.
"I'm so sorry for not fighting. I let her win and I didn't even try for us." She cried, she knew her mom would tear them apart and she still didn't fight against it. "I was prepared for it to happen, and I froze. Our relationship deserves to be fought for and I'm ready to do it."
Eddie pulled back a little to see her face, their bodies still embraced. "You don't need to apologize. I didn't fight either, I just let you do it alone. But now I'm not. We will fight for us together, okay? I'm not going to lose you. I don't care what she throws at us, I'll take care of you." Eddie promised, his forehead pressed against hers. She sniffled and nodded.
A smile on her face as she connected her lips with his.
"I love you." Eddie's heart raced at the words, a full teeth smile on his face as he said the words back.
Y/N would graduate one day, she'd move out and her mom wouldn't have the control. All Y/N needed was Eddie's hand in hers.
tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson request#eddie munson angst#eddie munson angst x reader#eddie munson fluff x reader#eddie munson fluff x female reader#eddie munson x popular!reader#eddie munson x cheerleader!reader#eddie munson angst to fluff#ashwhowrites
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I wrote this fairly quickly bc my crim prof is painfully hot and I am suffering as a result. All mistakes are mine.
Pairings: LawStudent!Reader x LawProfessor!Wanda
Warnings: like one cuss word lol -- reader's age is not specified and neither is Wanda's at this point -- if you want to be a K-thru-JD, be my guest.
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You’re staring at the heavy wooden door in front of you. Your eyes trace over the markings, this building is your favorite on campus because of the architecture. It was once a grand library in the late 1800s and now it holds most of your 1L classes. It’s also home to the office of your Criminal Law Professor whom you’re supposed to be meeting with in a few seconds.
You let out a long exhale as you stare at your watch. You try to ignore how sweaty your palm is as you clench your hand into a fist to knock on the door.
“Come in,” your professor’s voice is calm, with no hint as to why you were summoned to her office in the first place. It came through an email yesterday afternoon after class. You blinked at your screen while your friends teased you about being in trouble.
Are you in trouble?
You step into her office and she’s sitting at her desk writing something down.
“You wanted to see me, Professor Maximoff?”
“Yes,” she sets down her pen, “can I get you anything? Water? Tea?” She gives you a warm smile that would normally disarm anyone but it only makes you stiffen with nerves.
“No thank you, professor. I’m good.”
“Sure," she leans back in her chair and gives you a serious look that makes you flinch, "what did you think of the lesson yesterday? Any questions?”
Did she really call me in here to talk about yesterday’s lesson?
“No, professor, none that I can think of. Inchoate crimes seem pretty straightforward,” you nervously nod and her lips twitch into a smile.
“I look forward to reading your analysis on it for tomorrow’s discussion board then.”
“I’m just about done with it,” you breathe, it was the truth. You know you won’t see your class ranking until after your first year of law school but it seems to already be obvious to everyone that you’re top of the class. It’s not by luck, you've always had to work harder than everyone else to get where you needed to be. It does help that you’ve wanted to go to law school since you were a child. Now that you’re here, everything just clicks.
“Y/N,” Profesor Maximoff’s voice makes your eyes snap to hers. Her usually bright shade of hazel eyes are now much, much darker.
“You’re a good student, you know that right?"
That makes you clear your throat, “thank you, professor, I’m just trying to make the most of this opportunity — it’s pretty busy at times.”
“You must be too busy to realize how you come across as well.”
“I’m sorry?” You have to ask to make sure you heard her correctly.
“You realize this is the first time you’ve held eye contact with me for more than three seconds?" She crosses her arms and that makes you tense even more.
“You’ve been counting?”
“At some point, yes. It’s like clockwork," she unfolds one arm to frame her face and you can't help but appreciate her jawline and the perfectly manicured finger that's tapping away at her cheek.
You have to look away and take a breath. You feel like an idiot for having such obvious tells. Of course, if Sam and Bucky can clock your nervous habits, Professor Maximoff can too.
“You don’t let your eyes land on me for too long, they bounce around the room a lot, like right now.”
Your eyes fall on her again, but this time you make it a point to hold it for as long as you can physically bear it.
“I’m sorry, Professor. I’m not rude, just shy at times. I can see how that comes off as standoffish.”
“It’s okay,” she gives you a nod with a smile. It’s the same combo she gives during her lectures. You only know this because you’re its number-one fan. Your jaw reflexively drops but you quickly pick it back up before she notices.
“You know,” she slides out of her plush leather chair and saunters out from behind her desk, “at first I did think you were just rude.”
She shrugs for a beat before stepping closer to you, “but then I think about how often you hold the door for me.”
And closer.
“And how you say ‘good morning’ or ‘good afternoon’ whenever you pass me on campus.”
And closer.
“Now, it all makes sense.”
Your cheeks begin to burn, you want to step back to give her space but she’s already a breath away from you by the time your brain can form the idea.
“Y/n.”
“Yes, professor?”
“Do you like me?”
Fuck.
She asks it so innocently you almost forget where you are. You're not two people casually exploring each other's fascination with one another. You're not on some kind of date, she’s your professor and you’re just a 1L. She watches your throat squirm as you swallow. Your mouth is now bone dry.
“I…it’s--just a little crush, yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, professor,” you respond so quickly and she hums in praise. Something pulls deep in your belly but you don’t have any time to figure out what it is before Professor Maximoff speaks again.
“Just a little?”
She leans impossibly closer to you. Your eyes don’t have a single corner to escape to, your breathing is shallow and sporadic.
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t correct you this time and you can’t help but feel a heavy pang of want. You watch a smirk stretch across her face and you feel like prey that’s about to fall victim to--
“That’ll be all, y/n—please close the door on your way out.”
She backs away before you do, turning on her heel to sit at her desk just the way you found her.
You stand there dumbly nodding for a moment. She subtly raises an eyebrow in your direction and that’s when your limbs begin to move towards the door. You quietly shut the door behind you before slumping against it, air filling your lungs once again. You shake off whatever you're feeling and head home, still trying to wrap your head around what just happened.
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aita for like not liking my irl friends at the moment. So for context i'm in a friend group of four, in which i joined a year later into the friendgroup than the three others (their initials spell the world three too lol) so sometimes i feel a little left out and like i dont rly fit in with them.
For one i'm not rly like them in terms of interest, like i'm not into kpop or vietnamese drama/tiktok/music or k-dramas as they are, nor am i that up to date in slangs and like, adulty stuff ykyk so sometimes when they make references i tend to take them literally most of the time and it makes no sense to me. And yk it's not very nice that sometimes i ask them to explain and they're don't even rly bother to tell me or they're like "omg guys looks she doesn't get it hahahaha"
another thing would be that our family backgrounds are WAYYYY different. like i'm in a class full of rich people mind u (cuz im on a scholarship :(( ) so sometimes when we're going out i either can't go bc i have to focus on my studies or i can't always spend as much as them. Like they get money from certificates and for birthdays and everything and i have to earn mine through competitions or i have to wait for New years to get lucky money, and in the end i dont get as much as them anyways but eh. Sometimes they act like i'm TOO focused on my studies, like yeah i get it like even if they didn't make it that far in education they'd still be stable cuz their parents have companies or sell villas or sell cars and mansions so yeah but i dont rly have that opportunity so like i HAVE to focus on this yk. This also leads to i think me sometimes being close-minded to like spending money, which does lead to a lot of conflicts when we're together cuz i dont want to spend 150k for some fancy japanese restaurant that u have to wait outside. i'm fine with spending like 30k for pho and playdates and like yeah. and sometimes they go out baking or sth and its SUPER costly and they get a bunchhhhh of uneccessary ingridients and yk we all have to pour money in so like-
okay im rambling now i feel like last in terms of maturity im a bit behind. Like i still like to color out of the lines and draw weird things that doesn't rly fit with their defenition of normal so they're like "ewwwww why would u draw that?" or "what's wrong with her? (the drawing not me lol)" and it's like not nice yk. And cuz like i do debate and stuff ik more abt like politicis and i have a more realistic view so sometimes they're like "shut up stop ruining our plan omg" Plus they're also super into makeup and fashion and concious abt the type of skincare and products they use and i just dont know what they're doing yet so sometimes i say things like "ooh you guys do skincare?" and it comes off as a bit like yk pick-me but like i genuinely dont know how to do that stuff so im a bit behind. Also one of the girls has admitted to me like she said the only reason why she pulled me in was because the other two were closer together so she pulled me in the group to not feel left out. So now sometimes i feel like i'm just there to fill in that blank space for her which like i'm happy that i'm making her less sad but also at the same time she always complains that the other two are closer as if i'm not doing a good enough job of filling the blank.
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