#I can’t wait to find out everything
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the early stages of being unhinged-obsessed with a new piece of media are so funny. It was raining today and all my brain could come up with was “holy shit, this is just like Death Stranding” buddy I don’t think it is, actually 🤨 but I’m over here relating every goddamn tv show, movie and game I’ve ever heard of to some element of DS. That’s just the only thought I’m capable of producing in the last 72 hours. Listen, I’ll stop thinking when that damn game stops giving me things to think about!!!!
#Death stranding#fandom#media#video game#media obsession#My brain is cooked yall#I was playing for 12 hours straight today#I can’t wait to find out everything#I hope it nevers ends but god do I want to know how it does#Will I be confused? Probably#But I’m also having the time of my life#Hideo kojima#sam porter bridges#i think about him often#He’s just THE character yknow#Very important man to me
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
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chat i am NOT appreciating the stares i got from walking across campus to cvs in my hoodie and sweatpants as if we didn’t just sit through ANOTHER hurricane like chill man i didn’t sleep well let me get my monster to finish my logic homework in peace 😭
#spent all night having not quite nightmares not quite stress dreams#periodically woken up by storm noises (sleeping with your back to a window during a hurricane when you get shellshock from loud storm noises#- is NOT a fun experience i would not recommend)#and THEN getting woken up at 5 am by an emergency alert warning about flash floods until like 11:45 when i have a 10 am class that morning 🙃#luckily my professor cancelled class for that (and my other class was cancelled for it to)#but tbh i was NOT gonna walk 7 minutes to the second farthest building on campus through that either way#i was just gonna send him a pdf of my homework and say ‘i’m not walking through a flash flood for this class sorry 😭’#also my school didn’t do shit for this?? they’ve been sending us emails all week about dangerous weather#but made SURE to add in all caps in every one that classes and stuff will go on as normal#cofc doesn’t stop until we’re dead i guess what the fuck 😭#scratch that i mean everything’s as normal except half of our dining halls are closed. so i have to walk 7 minutes out for food anyway 🙃#BECAUSE MY SNACK STASH IS DEPLETED BECAUSE ITS BEEN JANKY ALL WEEK 🙃🙃🙃#what was this post about again??#WAIT AND THEN THE NORMAL ‘AROUND CAMPUS’ ROUTE I TAKE TO MY HOUSE WAS CLOSED#SO I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE MAIN PART OF CAMPUS#IN MY HOODIE & SWEATS & CARRYING MY MONSTER & POP TARTS#WHILE THERE WERE LIKE THREE TOUR GROUPS STANDING THERE I WANNA DIEEEEEE#wait i can’t say that anymore. uhhh hold on let me find the list. ummm. ‘i’m gonna start a scam company’ there we go.#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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Random TGCF Thought of the Day
The urge to frankencanon Ling Wen’s revised backstory to keep all the cute moments with Bai Jing but still have Ling Wen be actively responsible for Jing Wen’s pseudo-death and somewhat responsible for Xuli’s downfall
(preferably with swd & pm’s backing)
#tgcf#ling wen#random tgcf thoughts#I am still mad about that one change in the revision#was it a censorship thing? lw can’t get away with everything in the end if she murdered someone?#everything else about the backstory is great but I refuse to acknowledge this part#how I would do it is have her actively plot against jw#she knows xuli’s downfall is coming no matter what so she decides to speed it up#after BJ refuses to withdraw for her she finds some conflict to keep him busy#and makes arrangements for other kingdoms to start invading - BJ can’t be everywhere after all#and then in the confusion actively starts burning JW’s temples#(possibly pm helps here)#(or for more fun it’s swd who borrows PM’s men and makes him complicit)#while lw stays in heaven and waits for jw to weaken enough so she could kill him#(but he manages to survive like in the og novel)#i like the idea of lw trying to keep bj safe at first but then settles for just having him elsewhere#but the general feng conflict happens anyway#and her temple burners spiral out of control#and target her own temple as well - but BJ protects it#also picturing a scene where lw warns swd about pm (who he’s kinda friendly with)#pm is a xuli man and owes jw some favors#so if swd starts an open conflict with jw he should expect PM’s help#*shouldnt#(lw is wrong about this - pm wouldn’t help jw and would prefer to stay out entirely)#(but he also doesn’t actually like jw)#(the favor jw did for him? help clear his name after the failed rebellion)#(pm never asked for that and it caused the beautiful tale to spread)#(however I do also see pm in a sort of lxc-style peacemaker role for lw swd and jw)
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qaughhhhxhdhbebrrh
#everything is bad rn.#just had to get out of car after road trip (i’m sitting in the back) which is always bad#bad*#there’s a huge sleeping bag that was next to me which had the worst fucking texture ever#and my mum was constantly brushing against i with her clothes which also have a bad texture and together they made the worst fucking sound#there’s a kid in front of me who has been annoying me all day#and she always drags her fingers along the roof of the car and the seats and the sleeping bag and i can’t stand it#anyway just as i was about to go out#i dropped my phone and o couldn’t get it out again it was stuck in the trunk of the car#so i had to get out without my phone which is fine i don’t need to use my phone all the time but i like to hold it#it makes me feel more comfortable holding like. idk that shape and weight and stuff IDK it’s weird#but yeah i had to wait until the bags all got unloaded to get my phone back but before i got it back i went to the bathroom#which i couldn’t find so my dad asked the staff of the hotel where one was but he called me his mf daughter#😁👍#then i went to the bathroom#cried#my mum came into the bathroom and i hate it when she does this and i knew she was going to and she did#she called out my deadname in the public bathroom and told#me she had my phone#and i was so fucking stressed o did not want to talk i still do not want to talk#so i was just like ok#and she was like Ok???? like i had killed her fucking parents or something#so i had to be like thank you while i was having a meltdown#cleaned myself up and now i’m in the room and it’s hot and i don’t like it but whatever#shut up mars#:(
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having to worry about housing for next year despite thinking that i had it all sorted and i don’t even feel like i’m gonna throw up at all i’m actually completely normal
#convinced this place that i was in the TRENCHES finding is either gonna reject my application#or raise the rent randomly so i can’t afford it#finding a place that pre leases was literally hell and this place is seeming too good to be true so i’m just waiting for the other shoe to#drop. and have been all day#and before that i was worried all (long) weekend bc i couldn’t do anything until offices open#but i’m fine (can’t eat and can’t sit without having to get up and pace)#and to top it all off i’m convinced that somehow my financial aid is gonna randomly fall through#and that even if this place works out i won’t be able to afford it or school and i’m gonna have to move home#and drop out to go to school here and lose all of my credits and everything’s gonna fall apart#but it’s CHILL#this happens every year like honestly it’s normal atp……
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Random reminder that as of the time of RoW, Szeth is around 37 years old. He’s also been to most places in continental Roshar, speaks at least 5 or 6 languages, and had what seems to be a pretty extensive education even before he was named Truthless and exiled from Shinovar
This man is highly intelligent, educated, and knows how the world works
#Stormlight Archive#Szeth-son-son-Vallano#Szethposting#Oathbringer#Rhythm of war#fic writers don’t infantilize him challenge#his past masters have already done that enough in canon#one of them literally calls him child#anyway Szeth has a whole lot of knowledge and depth#and I’ll scream about it forever#I can’t wait to find out how he learned everything#fic writers please do this justice#I’m done ranting in the tags now
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shb is such a trying time for cori for many reasons obviously but especially for shtola reasons
#imagine your best friend passes out in front of you and you find out she’s been soul snatched#and you’re like oh this is extra terrifying for me bc i’m in love with her and only just realized#and then you go where her soul is and it’s been three years for her but only two weeks maybe for you#and you’re so happy to see her again but she has people on standby to kill you bc your soul is messed up and makes you look like the enemy#and one of those ppl on standby is a guy who is obviously in love with her#and she’s a lesbian so you’re not worried she returns the feelings but it is so annoying#bc he gets to be obvious and you have to keep it to yourself in case you ruin everything by saying it out loud#but then she almost dies and you’re like i can’t wait any longer i have to tell her#but first she tells you your soul is getting worse#and then you’re like well now i can’t tell her bc what if i do and then i turn into a sineater and she has to kill me#and so you walk to your potential demise knowing you love her and keeping it from her so that if she has to kill you it might be easier#(nvm that it could never be easy)#and this is all over the course of like a month#and this whole time shtola is like. dermot kennedy voice if she was in love she would have said it by now#working on various shb fics rn and feeling unhinged so. here we are#bye ahdhdjsk#shadowbringers spoilers#oc: corisande ymir
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what do u do on days u wake up feeling empty and the only things that stir smth up in ur brain and body are memories of times/places that are long gone…. like what am i supposed to do with that….. i don’t feel like a person today i just wanna wake up in my childhood bedroom and smell the way it smelled in winter but i can’t do that so i just go through my day feeling vaguely nauseously unsettled and untethered…. and that doesn’t feel fair but i don’t know what can be done about it
#i know i sound like a broken record but i miss my trees. i miss feeling like i’m home. i miss feeling safe in my body.#i miss the owls and doves that fill the morning by my grandma’s old house and the smell of the co-op and the river#and the way the mountains look surrounding the valley. protecting me.#i miss the feeling of my hands on the window in winter and reading my favourite books for the first time i miss chris i miss my old bed#i miss myself. i feel like i’ve been lost for years#sometimes i wake up distracted and i fill my brain with anything i can find and i cheat the system and i feel things#for a little while. if i keep moving fast enough i forget that i’m lonely. i forget that i’m lost#but sometimes i stop and it catches up to me and i have to sit on the floor#sometimes i realise how far from home i am in every sense of the word and i feel like a child lost in a supermarket#except this time no one is coming to find me if i just stand still#i wake up and everything i can think of that would make me happy is a mirage#i wake up and the music isn’t enough and i want to start pedalling backwards and i feel like i’m floating very fast downstream#and there’s a waterfall looming somewhere in the distance and i can’t grab a log#im not gonna fall off. nothing is ever bad enough for anyone to worry about me drowning. but i am still very wet and very far from home#so what. do. i. do. ?#when i was a kid we lived in a house that had a very large oak tree out front (this was before the house with the willow tree)#at the base of the oak tree was a small fairy pond. we moved in during winter and it was frozen solid and u couldn’t see anything in it#but come spring it melted and we discovered the fairy pool was chock full of marbles of all colours and sizes. hundreds of them.#it was so thrilling to know they’d been waiting for me all winter to find them in the warmth. where are the marbles now#is anything waiting for me? is anything hiding in the frozen pond?#@the universe: i need a little help now pls. pls send me something small and colourful i wasn’t expecting. hundreds of them. or just one.#i am open to it all#because i can’t go back in time and smell my childhood bedroom in winter. and i will not go over the waterfall. so bring me marbles#~ signed yours truly. ps tell the trees i’m still the same
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One time I tried writing a soulmate au and I was going to try to like. deconstruct?? the idea of soulmates with it but I still made the mistake of making the two love interests actual soulmates (rookie mistake) and about 20k in I was looking at what I had written like. Oh this is gonna piss me off too bad to finish I can’t do this mission failure
#like i went. i’m going to challenge the idea of soulmates by having two characters violently push against everything soulmates are only to#find out they were soulmates all along at the end YOU IDIOT!!!#so that fic is never getting finished lol#i do have another idea for a different fandom (where all the canon relationships are batshit and accidentally Very aspec coded lol)#and i’m going to make a ‘soulmate’ au for that one and it’s going to me SO FUN. i’m calling it soulmate anarchy i can’t wait to write it
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💯🪐✨
#ITS SO SO GOOD OMG IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN: WE’RE SO BACK!!!!#being completely objective this is on the top of my favorite kpop gg albums list this year!#I genuinely love every song they gave me everything they truly captured Loona’s colors so well with the lore in the mv and the sound#Loona is so alive still can’t believe they revived OEC and now this#the members get to shine more it’s like the units we always wanted f*ck you again BBC#the intro is just magical#perfect... « searching for their friends 🥹#Real World really surprised me the beginning sounds so much like a RV song I LOVE it and oh my their vocals on it are so good#really impressed by the vocals and production of this album#Colouring might be my favorite it’s very Loona makes me realise how important their vocal colors are to Loona's sound#like Gowon’s tone give it that otherworldly feeling#Newtopia ooooh yessss the instrumental reminds me of OEC the production again is AMAZING this sound suits them so well!!!#Strawberry Soda is so refreshing such ear candy how wonderful & heartwarming that Yves is part of this amazing album#can’t wait to hear more of what she writes#Day by Day is the perfect closer to this perfect album it’s so uplifting it makes me so hopeful and excited about Loossemble’s future#honestly 10/10 what a flawless redebut#went beyond my expectations#very very proud and emotional I can’t find the words#every song is on my best kpop b sides of 2023 ) / current playlists & on repeat#can’t wait to receive my physical album and for Chuu Heejin and Yves' solos then ARTMS full group debut aaaaah we made it out of the drough#Loossemble#kpop#ggs#girl groups#music#korean#2023#Spotify
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just found out that pizza hut apparently will not be doing heart-shaped pizzas this year for valentines and now i’m sad
#kai.rambles#alsooo hiiii!#i miss you guys 🥹#i’m still shadow banned :(((#BUTTT ive been writing while tumblr has me in my small cage and i’m really happy with how everything is turning out#almost done with merman bkg and the mythology fic is coming along really good#plus finally got the brain juice for the zombie au fic#andddd hybrids kiribaku are clouding my thoughts again so expect a fic about them when tumblr finds the key to my cage#BC SURELY THEY LOST IT IF THEY ARE TAKING THIS LONG RIGHT?!?!#anywayssss came back to see alex is on a mini hiatus so im also sad about that#if you see this i already miss you hon and hope you’re well 🥺#i also have commissions im excited to show y’all really soon#and im finally getting my valentines nails done this weekend that i can’t wait for bc i still have my christmas ones 🙃#anywayyysss i rambledddd so bye bye for now#kissing all of you on the forehead and wrapping y’all in warm blankets🖤🖤
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Prima facie round two. 5/17 🎭🤍
#pics and videos don’t do the front row justice at all#the way that it curves to the stage is crazy I had to take wide angle pics and even then can’t really tell how close it is#it’s also the only row lit up the entire show with a spotlight#was kind of overwhelming because you’re like face to face#like! at one point she sits on the floor of the stage and we made eye contact for what felt like a whole min and bro tell me why I felt SHY#like grl 😳#we got some smiles at the end too that invoked some gay panic#she’s even more beautiful irl it’s crazy#and talented like she puts everything into that#was so different seeing the performance so close up man was intense#like her crying hurt my damn feelings#my friend went out before us to try and find a spot for me to get an autograph cus friendship#because there's people there waiting before the show even starts it's wild#she got up front tho! and met a bunch of ppl someone had seen the play 8 times and there were other ke tattoos#I pissed off some ppl but made it up there and jodie wasn't feeling well enough to sign#I wasn't even mad I hope she's ok she does so much man I'd need a year off in bed#did get to see her drive off tho haha#maybe we'll make it down once more before it's done either to see it again or do other ny shit then try for an autograph#we’ll see#I hope she doesn’t get burnt out I even felt bad contributing to the feralness#the show is so heavy I hope she’s taking care of herself#we got sprayed a few times by her drinking water and yelling/talking so if she's sick and l'm getting jodie sick idec#I know ur not suppose to take pics aside from the bow don't come for me#that's why I took it from a horribly under the stage low angle from my ankle basically lol#l've had a headache and motion sickness grossness since the drive down p sure it's a migraine wanna just go sleeps#was so worth it tho for that incredible lady 😮💨#also! got to drive a bronco to and from which was cool I love them lately#ok bye I wrote so much shit probably incoherent#mine
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where’s that me when i have to wait post
#found out one of my roommates isn’t renewing with us but isn’t sure yet so now i have to be stressed about finding a new roommate#but i can’t even DO anything about it yet i have to WAIT!!!!!!#chatpost#gonna get stuck at my job gonna have to renew gonna have to find a new roommate why is everything happening NOW
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okay i’ve had the nothing-serious-not-interested-in-monogamy talk with both of them and they’re both cool with it, i guess i’m just gonna continue dating both of them, this is. going way differently/better than i ever could have expected
#i’m a little worried they both might be into me a little tooo much#like Bookstore’s response was like I don’t want to do just casual sex i need a connection (but what we’ve been doing is good so)#and they’re already dreaming about me which is… idk what to think about that#and Tech Guy’s response to me saying nothing serious was like. Could that change in the future#i said Bruh everything in my life is up in the air anything could change but don’t count on it#but otherwise yeah they are both okay with it!#wild. i’m gonna have sex with each of them next time i see them#v much looking forward to that#but now idk if i should switch their days like i’ve been seeing Bookstore on fridays and Tech Guy on sundays#but…. tbqh tmi but now i KNOW Bookstore’s so big i’m. worried i might need more than a day to recover 😳#like it’s at least twice the size of the last dick i had and i’m not actually 100% sure i can take it 😳#v much looking forward to trying!! but. they might beat it up too good and she might need more than one day of rest after…#gosh. problems i never in a million years could have anticipated having#and like yeah i know this could get super fucking messy but#i’m making up for lost time i’m exploring i’m gonna make mistakes but i’m also gonna have fun#and i’m gonna get railed on the regular which would really do me good lmao#also the best thing about making up for lost time and explroing new things in a new way is that stuff’s so new there are somany superlatives#Bookstore’s gonna be the biggest dick i’ve ever had. Tech Guy is the best kisser i’ve ever had.#how else will they surprise me how much more fun will i have with them i can’t wait to find out#lizzo_boys.mp3
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