#I can’t live if they aren’t
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After episode 6 I have so many theories and no I am not okay
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#dff the series#dead friend forever#my man#my baby boy#my sweetest child#Phee darling#you cannot be a murderer okay#I won’t allow it#unless Jin is also a murderer#in which case#acceptable#I just think they’re adorable#please tell me he isn’t using him#cause that’s cold in a whole new way#if he’s there getting revenge then let Jin be a coconspiritor#they need to be on the same side#I can’t live if they aren’t#this drama might kill me#my brain has come up with a thousand excuses already#also some really good fanfic plots#but that’s besides the point#I need the two of them to be fine at the end of this#and also poor white#this boy hasn’t done anything wrong so just let him go home#pheejin
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“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!
#a buddy of mine is a server and is getting ROASTED on twitter for complaining about#how often nowadays people will just completely ignore her when she greets them and asks how they are and what can she get them started with#and when they DO finally acknowledge that she Exists they’re rude about it all#and how demoralizing and dehumanizing it is#and of course people have taken this and decided that being told it’s rude to ignore that your server exists is actually ableist#like jesus fucking christ you people can’t do anything huh#like i’m serious i’m ND and have terrible days where i go mute sometimes and you know what i do?#do my best to not go out places that require social interaction but if i Must then i’m not a prick to the people i come across#because my issues aren’t their fault. and i owe it to them to not make their lives harder.#anyway i’m so angry for bailey people are so awful grow up and have some fucking AGENCY
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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Something that just really really bums me out on a personal level, as someone who does not want to get married and have kids, is how inescapably relentless the 'nuclear family is superior to literally anything else' messaging is. How even shows where found family has been the show's whole overarching thesis, often end with a very clear message of 'these characters thought found family was enough for them but it definitely wasn't and now they will finally be happy because they have a marriage and 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs which is the only way true happiness can ever be achieved'. This isn’t even about any one specific show because it could be about so many shows and it’s just ... sad. It's driven by post-war capitalism and I could get into all that on an academic level but it's also truly just deeply depressing because we do unfortunately live in a world where there is a lot of truth to that statement. We do live in a world where people who don't want that life all lowkey know that eventually our friends and siblings and coworkers will all get married and have kids and become so immersed in their nuclear families that they won't have time for us anymore and there won't be a community for us and that the found family we thought they cared about too was really just a waiting room, just something temporary that was only good enough until they found the people they really wanted to spend their lives with. And it's just sad that even in the world of fiction, even in media where the idea of found family is the entire premise, we can't even have it also be the happy ending. We can have season after season telling us how amazing found family is, but we can't have a series finale that doesn't end on a note of "but remember, found family is always temporary and will never truly be enough."
#from my drafts#this has lived in my drafts for like 4 months and idk be free post go out into the world#I know people aren’t going to believe me when I say this isn’t specifically shade at lone star but it really isn’t#it’s a feeling I’ve had for years and it’s about so so many pieces of media#and just a general commentary on ~society~#and the biases of the people who create and write characters and shows bleeding into their art#because our personal biases always bleed into our art#so. idk I guess if people think I’m shading lone star that is their prerogative. I’m not but I can’t control how people feel
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Dramatic Synchronicity at Webster Hall - Everything You’ve Come to Expect
for @crandberrysaucewithpulp
Not shown directly after this - introduction to The Meeting Place
Alex: this is a good old fashioned love story, about what might have been
Miles: this one’s for you Hannah, baby…
💙💜🩷
#they are a pair of dramatic sillies#miles with his graceful spin#intuitively matching alex’s moves#perfectly in sync#feeling the music#also the bisexual lighting can’t be a coincidence right#also dedicating the meeting place to your girlfriend is a lot#when it might be the saddest song they’ve ever written#just truly a lot to unpack here#also the person shouting for miles to give up and just take his whole shirt off#same#gifs aren’t perfectly in sync but I lost the will to live a bit sorry#miles kane#alex turner#tlsp#eycte era#webster hall#everything you’ve come to expect#my gifs#the last shadow puppets
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Post part 3 story that I want to build upon (read tags for more info)
#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba avdol#mohammed avdol#stardust crusaders#jjba au#everybody lives#avdol gets spit out by cream after vanilla ice is defeated#he blacks out on a shore somewhere and is later found by the speedwagon foundation#everything gets spit out of cream including his arms#they aren’t able to work with his old arms so he gets new ones once he wakes up in the foundation#he saw things indescribable in creams void and that plus the loss of his arms has fucked up his mental state pretty badly#I personally can’t imagine losing both my arms which are my main sources of touch#I imagine that would fuck someone up quite a bit even someone like avdol
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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I feel like so much self help nowadays is just thinly disguised despair?
#be your own sunshine be your own inspiration love yourself seems to come from a place of parenthetical (cause no one else is or will)#which isn’t true!#the people I’ve seen most in despair where people would say I can’t love you till you love yourself#do tend to have people willing to live them!#they don’t need to love themselves they need to let themselves receive the love!#it’s not you can’t love someone who doesn’t love themselves it’s you can’t love someone (in an active way) who won’t let themselves be loved#who won’t accept your love!#you can actually very much love someone who doesn’t love themselves because if they aren’t busy loving themselves they are usually busy#loving other people! what we really mean is we can’t love someone who won’t accept our love#but keeps disbelieving it and us no matter what
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omg thannnkkk you ai 🫶🫶you are so helpful I didn’t know that!! I thought moths held their hearts in little jars until they needed them
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#/sarcasm OBVIOUSLY I will be caught DEAD before I praise ai#also worth noting the ai immediately went into talking about heart moth habitats#which is slightly more understandable but I was. asking where the heart chambers were located#I think it’s in the abdomen but I had to make sure#i can’t draw a comic about a moth with heart issues if I don’t know exactly where his heart is :(#fuck ai#so sick of ai overviews#they aren’t even funny bad anymore like saying cockroaches live in cocks they’re just unhelpful and cumbersome now#you could show me the most useful info ever but if it’s communicated via ai I will immediately hate and distrust it
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still trying to figure out style stuff (this time with four!)
#i finally caved and got a physical copy of the fsa manga and it came early i can’t wait to read it i’m so excited#i have a long plane ride tmrw and i’m going to read the living daylight out of it#anyways#i was gonna draw the whole chain in this sort of style but i sketched out a few people and then focused way too much on four#i like this style but i absolutely despise doing lineart#trying to get better at drawing things that aren’t rocks or birds#we’ll see#anyways have a great day :)#linked universe#lu four#linked universe fanart#art#fanart#froggtogs
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Sometimes my friends will talk about shows they watch like ‘Owl House’ or ‘The Office’ and they’ll ask me if I’ve watched them and I’ll have to say no bc I don’t actually watch shows like that and then they’ll be like “oh you don’t watch a lot of tv do you?” And I’ll be like “yea actually you’re right”
No, actually, they’re not right bc after every conversation like this I’ve had I remember almost immediately after they’re gone that I do watch tv all the time (or at least I did, not so much after I moved tho) but I’m (re)watching shows like ‘Lalaloopsy’, ‘Voltron: Legendary Defender’, ‘Lolirock’, ‘Glitter Force’ (both of them), and ‘Hoodwinked’ (it’s a movie abt red riding hood and her grandmother and I love it so much and nobody ever knows what it is for some reason)
But, like, those are what I watch w whenever I actually feel like sitting down and watching shows
I know the whole song ‘Revolution’ from ‘Lolirock’ by heart
#lolirock#glitter force#hoodwinked#lalaloopsy#voltron#vld#voltron: legendary defender#netflix#I love animated shows#I can’t stand live action shows it’s so weird#the only one I’ve ever watched and enjoyed is literally the Percy Jackson show#my mom and sister are always hogging the tv and when they aren’t I don’t have the energy to watch the shows#these are a lot of nonexistent tags lol#I seriously love these shows tho#and like#those educational kid shows#peg and cat#bubble guppies#team oomie zoomies#I watch those religiously bc I don’t need a tv and I can just look them up#I am literally 14 and a half#14 1/2 going on 4 bc that’s what the shows I watch will tell you#this is the most tags I’ve ever put and almost all of them belong in the post and not in the tags#this is ridiculous#I love this it’s really fun#now I get why people put long tags#alr ima stop now
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I understand how uncomfortable part of the fandom feels with the new trailer. It’s the same feeling I get when I see domestic life w kids posts.
#omi.rambles#but yk what I don’t do? I don’t go harassing other people#even when those posts aren’t tagged appropriately#yes appropriately#anything can trigger anyone#but also ppl that have triggers should recognize them and avoid#I just scroll pass and continue with my life#do breathing exercises if I read something that upsets me. control my own mind.#or saw something+#I don’t even bother sending asks with *could you tag X or Y?*#BECAUSE ITS NOT SOMETHING THATS REQUIRED OR OBLIGATORY#tw rant#that’s being emotionally responsible.#also part of having triggers is being aware of them and being prepared. bc a triggered person is somehow dangerous in itself.#like that’s basic therapy stuff (me thinks).#you know. you prepare. you learn to live like this.#I am actively living with triggers. I can’t ask the bus driver to hold a sign with their trigger warnings
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Sarah Sisko’s whole deal is so horrifying and messed up and DS9 just kinda. Glosses over it
#Imagine you are just a random Australian woman on Earth. Living your life minding your business#and then you get possessed by an alien force who have a Destiny they need to enact#And so controls you to go to New Orleans and hook up with a guy you’ve never met and you marry him and live with him for three years#And give birth to a son#And evidently that was what the alien wanted because once you have had a son the alien possession vacates your body#And you are in control of yourself again for the first time in three years#Married to a guy you didn’t seek out with a son you didn’t have a choice in#And the man is sweet and kind and in live with you! And thought you lived him! But you can’t bear it#So you leave him and leave the kid and hightail it back to Australia because what else can you do??#And eventually commit suicide because you can’t handle this. Your life was upended in an impossible horrifying way for three years#You disappeared from your life with no warning for three years and then showed up again to people who think you just left#It’s the Star Trek universe—‘I was mind controlled by an alien force’ is well known#But that’s not supposed to happen to you. You aren’t a starfleet adventurer you live on Earth. Why You?#I feel like. Sarah your life was so horrifying/tragic and it wasn’t even about you#And even DS9 just brings this up practically in passing and then never dwells on it ever#perpetual perpetual ladies night#Star Trek#Deep Space 9#ST:DS9
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hey you guys know that even if the people inside that submersible are rich billionaires, dying in that metal tube at the bottom of the ocean is a horrific way to die right. like. yeah stupid choices were made by the people in there signing off on a waiver that says the sub is not approved by anyone and they could die. but it’s the fault of OceanGate for knowingly putting people into a Home Depot DIY sub rigged up with an Xbox controller all to make a profit on people’s curiosity.
#ra speaks#personal#oceangate#missing sub#be normal on this post or I’m going to be disappointed in you and hope you grow as person#listen I’m not touching the ‘site of a horrific maritime disaster being used as a tourist locale’ with a ten foot pole#but like the people in that sub are currently going through something incredibly traumatic and will be lucky to survive#and I know we all love to laugh at dumb rich people suffering the consequences of their hubris#but jfc maybe I’m insane but like on a human level can you respect the horror of what is happening to real living ppl for a goddamn minute#there’s also a good chance these folk aren’t millionaires#they’re probably upper middle class folk splurging for the start of summer vacation#‘oh but I bet they’re still rich assholes-‘ THERES PEOPLE IN THERE. THEY MIGHT DIE. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GRASP AS A TERRIBLE THING???#me. low empathy: wow this is horrible. I quite literally can’t imagine how the people down there feel but I’m sure it’s incredibly traumatic#dumbasses making memes: haha dumb rich kid and his dad are gonna suffocate in a metal tube lol
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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Oh by the way, for anyone that isn’t aware, I’ll be at Salt Lake City FanX tomorrow (Thursday) from 2-5pm). I got a little table and everything. Come say hi if you can.
#probably you can’t#but I’m surprised how many of my fans just so happen to live in Utah#I guess I shouldn’t be surprised#I didn’t write broccoli this way intentionally#but#they are kinda Mormon coded aren’t they#haha#anyways I’m sure me being there will make a handful of people happy
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