#I can get a sort of attachment to idols to an extent

[hoforwonho]

RPF is weird & gross in general but kpop RPF especially doesn’t make sense. You’re going to tell me this loser boy who plays genshin impact is a mob boss CEO & wants to fuck you??

If only I were half as delusional.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Can I ask why you don’t like Vil much? If you haven’t answered that already?

For me, I also didn’t like him at first but loving Rook has turned me into a Vil lover 😭.

[Referencing this tier list!]

A significant part of it is no fault of Vil's own, it's just... I have a very strong aversion to celebrity characters. This dislike scales up the more famous that celebrity character is + how much attention is brought to their status, and well... Y'all know perfectly well how famous Vil is 🤡 This is why I also dislike his father to some degree, though it's to a lesser extent because I at least appreciate Eric being involved in his son’s life + find Eric to be friendly.

Celebrity characters tend to make me feel deeply uncomfortable chiefly because their careers put them in a position where they're ripe for parasocialism (which is when one party, ie their fans, extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, ie the object of their affection, is completely unaware of the other's existence). Parasocialism in of itself is not a negative thing by default; it can, in fact, be a powerful motivator to improve oneself or can significantly lift one's mood. Some sectors entirely rely on parasocialism to function (such as the "influencing" industry).

Where it starts to get iffy for me is when we veer into the most parasocial of fans who will take extreme actions to support and/or hate on an individual. These are your stalkers, your sasaeng fans, etc. While I'm aware that these are the vocal minority of a celebrity's fanbases, the kinds of things these extremely parasocial fans pull off deeply unnerves me. Like Vil, the celebrities involved are by no means at fault—but they’re always “tainted” in my mind by the association due to the sheer magnitude of what their most crazed fans do in their name 💀 So when I think of that celebrity… I also think of the insane stuff they have to deal with from their fans and that stresses me out.

I find the whole “celebrity worship” culture in of itself very odd. It’s difficult for me to form an attachment to a real person that doesn’t or cannot reciprocate. By extension, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around activities like following the celebrity’s life closely, supporting any and all projects due to their involvement alone, and collecting merch/signatures. Thinking of Vil’s fans doing this… (or, as seen in the Tapis Rouge event, getting emotional/shrieking for him, begging for a glance, fainting, etc.) it invokes those feelings of discomfort again.

Finally (regarding the celebrity thing), Vil and other famous people tend to be in the spotlight. I don’t really like this sort of a presentation; it calls too much attention to them. This runs counter to the types of characters I tend to gun for: the schemers who operate from the shadows, typically appearing innocuous or humble at first glance. These characters stay out of the spotlight and prefer it that way, as it allows them more freedoms to enact their plots. Celebrities’ positions don’t really allow for that. Even if their off-camera persona is completely different than their on-camera one, the attention they’re showered with never seems to fade.

I also find Vil’s entire presence way too intense (even when he’s lined up next to arguably much more physically imposing students like the 180 cm+ squad or any muscular character). This is why I can tolerate Neige but dislike Vil; Neige comes off as innocent and approachable—so much so that I don’t even register him as an idol or a celebrity in my mind. He’s just a cute boy-next-door type inviting me to dance and sing with him and his friends!

Vil’s hair, makeup, tall heels, the need for perfection, his sternness. It’s a LOT to take in. I can admire the confidence and the tenacity with which Vil pursues beauty, but at the same time… it can come off as super overwhelming. I don’t think I could comfortably breathe in the same space as him without feeling like I’ve offended his sensibilities 😅 Sometimes I get a little anxious just reading him scolding others; it feels like he’s reaching through the screen and scolding me too. I get the overwhelming vibes even through the things Vil creates or commissions; the composition and choreography of Absolutely Beautiful was so oppressive and centered on winning that I disassociated from my own school’s team 💀

Some other minor, miscellaneous gripes I have with Vil:

I don’t generally have a problem with Vil’s leadership or how he guides/teaches others. (His behavior is very similar to what I’ve experienced within my own culture’s upbringing.) However, I do not approve of all of his methods and I do think he does “too much” at times + oversteps, making me feel uneasy.

His tastes don’t really match mine! It’s a little too “glam”, especially the ensembles with heavy smoky eyes.

What’s with him dying the ends of his hair that color… It makes me think of him dunking his head in grape Kool-aid as a dye 😭/j

There we are ^^ I hope that explanation was sufficient!! I tried to explain my… admittedly complex feelings behind my dislike of Vil as neatly as I could. Nothing against the guy, how he is written, or his fans (both in-universe and irl), of course!! This is just my opinion.

[sanityshorror]

What are the relationships between Cian and the other Hellcrew characters?

Oh oh oh! This is a great question to start with! I mainly just covered Cian's side of the relationships but I can elaborate more on things if specifically asked!

Killian Lynch

Complicated isn't a strong enough word and "eugh," is how I feel when I get into the nitty gritty of it. Cian is... extremely obsessive towards Killian. He idolizes Killian and holds him on a pedestal. Cian is obsessed with, to quote him, "living up to my father's legacy." Cian is obsessed with getting Killian's approval. Cian is obsessed with the idea of being incredibly close with Killian emotionally. He's obsessed with the idea of a version of his life where Killian was always there. Cian is obsessed with impressing Killian. Cian is obsessed with-- I think you get the idea.

Devlin Doherty (© @scarfaxia )

Devlin is Cian's boyfriend, and Cian's Ultimate Favorite Person™ (Cian has BPD & NPD). Cian is beyond attached to Devlin, and has accidentally broken Devlin's hand on multiple occasions because he held it too tightly. Cian is very faithful to Devlin, he loves him and has since they first met in their 20s. Cian is 100% a malewife lol. Ultimately, Devlin and Cian have a very healthy and happy relationship. They don't really fight ever, though they do lightheartedly bicker a lot lol. Scarfaxia says that Devlin will try to pretend to be annoyed by Cian being so attached but Devlin actually loves it and would be upset if Cian wasn't.

Julius Doherty

Cian is about as close as one is able to get to Julius. They always have had a friend type of relationship, even though Cian was only 13 when he first met a then 23 year old Julius. Because Julius is emotionally stunted in a teenage mindset in many ways, he wound up forming a (genuinely) platonic friendship of sort with Cian off the bat. They're still incredibly close.

Octavian Doherty

Cian and Octavian have gotten to know each other over the years due to Octavian being Devlin's older brother. Octavian is protective of Devlin ("hurt me bwatha an' I'll fawkin kill yaw!") but Cian actually is appreciative of that, because Cian is also protective towards Devlin. They get along.

Sullivan Sweeney

Sullivan hates Cian because Cian reminds him so much of Killian, and Sullivan hates Killian.

Duvessa Doyle

Mother of one of Cian's (many) children. They got up to the bowchickawowow when Cian was still human, 19 at the time. He only was in her life to be involved with their child when the child was growing up. Now he acts like she doesn't exist.

Seraphina Shaw (© @gracilissart )

Cian keeps his distance from her. He's plenty smart enough to know that she's got his issues figured out to a pretty damn good extent and knows she'll call him on bullshit. He doesn't want to risk the trigger.

Seamus Wrynn (© @gracilissart)

Similar to Killian, Cian likes a lot of Seamus' s...uh.. photography but doesn't see it as the magnificent art Seamus thinks it to be. Like Killian, Cian just sees it as jerk it material. He isn't particularly close to Seamus, especially given that because Killian doesn't like Seamus, then Cian also doesn't.

Kelly Duffy

Not all that close, but video gaming bros. Cian is the only person who Kelly has a chance on making go WASTED™ in GTA

Lucien Delaney (© @scarfaxia )

Oh god how do I even start I don't know where to begin. Uh. Nothing good. Very very very bad.

[cows-wearing-my-sweater]

definitely would like to hear your take on this situation! if you feel like sharing ofc!! i feel like everyone shares the same discourse of disappointed but not surprised 😭

i'd love to share !!! i started typing this all out and realized i was not gonna be able to keep it nice and concise so i do rlly apologize this is long LOL

my first point is that just nothing has made my blood boil more than the people who, in defense of matty and in an attempt to ridicule hurt fans, say "this is what you get for idolizing someone," or "but he never claimed to be a good person -- you shouldn't have gotten attached." because while these may be true statements to a certain extent at times, they completely deflect from the actual issue, which is matty's actual behavior

i think a lot of my feelings on this circle back to my own experiences of being in fan spaces starting from like. age 12 all the way up to now. it is so genuinely difficult for young girls especially to enjoy anything without having it minimized or ridiculed simply because it attracts predominantly teen girls/young women. and so when a band like the 1975 shows up, it's wonderful because so many young people feel so welcome and accepted in that space. matty himself has reiterated many times in interviews that he has respect for the intelligent young women that make up the fanbase, and that you can't take your fans' intelligence for granted.

that's part of why it is so disheartening when time and time again he's so ok with openly making lame, weirdly misogynistic jokes at the expense of so many people who care so much about what he does. and it is true that maybe no one should be surprised, but it's so shocking that he has shown zero sign of maturation. he's nearly 34. there's no excuses for him atp.

my friend and i were talking about this, and it came up that matty is in a position of power where he will never have to take substantial action on his own claims of caring about women, or any sort of marginalized group for that matter. it's so deeply frustrating to see that he is clearly capable of compassion and understanding, yet he makes the active choice not to follow that, because he has the privilege of treating everything as a joke.

you can call it a bit, a joke layered in irony, as much as you want, but after awhile it begs the question: is it really a joke anymore? does this really not reflect who he is as a person? because i, personally, am done with people who hide behind the excuse of irony and satire to explain the shit they say. just because it's a joke doesn't mean it's fucking funny!!! like, at all!!!!

not to mention the fact that this band would NOT be where it is now if it weren't for the young women that put so much time and energy into showing the band support and love. and how fucking awful does it feel to have that returned with what i can only rlly describe as the kind of comments a 17 year old little white boy would make. feels awful

[dogtoling]

An annoying problem with Splatoon's story mode needlessly involving the idols is that it makes writing fanfics difficult. Sure, it can be a story set in the world of Splatoon, but if this is the world of Splatoon, then you'll want characters people can relate to. By recycling the idols as companions over and over, we don't get many new characters. S2 had zero new characters for the story mode, OE had C.Q. Cumber, Tartar, the crab who gives you stuff for completing mem cakes that I can't remember the name to, and to some extent, the idols, and S3 had the idols (and to some extent Mr. Grizz). That's all fine and all if they actually did something, but when they all literally just stand around and do nothing, it doesn't help using them as characters past "Marie, Callie, and Cuttlefish run the Splatoon."

The Agents themselves don't help either. By having every story mode make you an "Agent", it feels like every OC has to be an Agent, and it's a breath of fresh air when someone makes an OC who isn't. The Agents also have next to no personality traits or backstory to speak of. You're saving the world because Cuttlefish put an Agent suit on you and said Go, not because you have a reason to. They have no backstory besides "they moved to Inkopolis / Splatsville recently" and no personality traits past "Agent 3 doesn't talk and is super serious" "Agent 4 doesn't watch TV". Agent 8 at least had some sort of backstory, although pulling an "I have amnesia" on us doesn't help her case. She's an Octo who heard Calamari Inkantation and is now fighting to get out of the Metro. But we don't know any specifics about her life prior to the Metro.

Just my thoughts.

Okay THIS! This is one of the reasons I (and MANY OTHER PEOPLE by the looks of it) are so done with the NSS and the idols as recurring characters. The Splatoon world IS HUGE and the developers clearly have endless, even complex character ideas. The world is so big and so complex and we see none of it because every "story" that we're given in Splatoon deliberately REMOVES YOU FROM THAT WORLD... then spoon feeds you some chosen hero arc with the same zero-personality supporting cast over and over again that's really only a supporting cast if you as the player have a sentimental attachment to the characters (they don't do anything in the game and usually have like 1 personality trait.)

Like, just imagine if the stories in Splatoon had the freedom to be detached from the idols and if they had the freedom to tell smaller, down-to-earth stories that felt much more personal and took place in actual facets of the world. They could craft a colorful cast of characters that actually had purpose in that setting and there's no reason you COULDN'T still make those characters marketable and fan-favorite! There's literally so much you can do with stories within the Splatoon world and somehow all the Splatoon stories completely miss the mark and I don't know how they keep doing it. It almost feels like they're purposefully avoiding fleshing out the world or the characters of the game, lol

And this is something that I find really strange because isn't one of Splatoon's driving themes the freedom of self expression and like, diversity? Then why are we always playing as some character who's void of personality and doing some random crap in an environment that's emptier than the local mall during May 2020. The world is out there, WHY AREN'T WE? Believe it or not, before Octo Expansion's release and Off the Hook becoming super popular, the Splatoon fandom WAS full of independent OCs that were just... guys that live in the Splatoon world, and the world itself was a huge focus because that was like, the THING. But after the game became deliberately character-focused, there was a huge boom where nowadays instead of random OCs with no ties to the canon characters, everyone's OCs essentially ARE the canon characters. So instead of having a colorful cast of people in a wacky world, it's more like we all have our own AU of the same exact things happening differently and it's... well. The world hasn't been the fandom focus for a long-ass time and watching it feels like some kind of cultural death lol. And I can't blame anyone, especially not the newer fans, because the world hasn't even been NINTENDO'S focus and they're the ones who made it.

[siddoesstuffig]

I think Dream is a piece of shit but not once did I believe he groomed anyone. I personally have known several people entirely willing to attach their face and name to the most farfetched lies out there for attention, both positive and negative, no matter the lashback when people realized they lied. This only amplifies with his remarkably parasocial fanbase, and in many cases fans with an unhealthy obsession can and will do drastic things for the attention of their "idol". Everything in this situation points to a well-practiced liar, obsessed fan, and mental illness. There is absolutely no evidence that actually shows grooming, and zero display of the behavior of a person who was groomed.

Real victims are immeasurably damaged by actions like these.

i agree to an extent. i feel like if more comes out that’s irrefutable what can i say, the proof is there, but that doesn’t mean i dont think her claims are strong for the little evidence she has to share for it.

do i think it’s okay to be dm-ing your fans? no. i don’t. but i don’t doubt he blew up too fast to get out of that realization that he can’t respond to every. damn. person. it’s okay to let go of that replying to your fans, they have to get over you eventually. i really hope this situation sets that in dream’s mind, assuming the allegations are false

and i agree that victims are hurt by this, i completely agree, and if amanda happens to be wrong? fuck her so hard for using something as serious and damaging as grooming to get fame. but until the case is closed, i can’t say for sure i don’t think she’s a victim, though right now for me it’s looking like she isn’t

it’s dumb how far people are willing to go to get pity they don’t deserve, they definitely deserve the backlash after lying like that, and i hope amanda gets the backlash she deserves if she is lying. but if she isn’t, i still think she should get some sort of help because she is at least lying about something considering the constantly conflicting evidence, plus grooming is a serious situation she may need therapy for, especially when the whole of the internet going insane over it and placing their eyes on her

[gayvlad-remade]

im watching daredevil season 3 with my mother and my brother and we've just watched ep 5 and im. concerned about the bpd representation, tbh

[reikeip]

Crossroad ♱ Curse 7

Location: Hasumi Temple, Main Hall

Rei: In spite of all that, if you think ya still hope to remake the world to your image, that’s fine.

Humans, they are the only animal on Earth that would dare defy God to try and change their own destiny.

Even if ya can’t change the flow of the current… you can still throw a rock in a big ol’ stream and make a ripple.

But if ya go excessively interfering like that, you can wreak havoc on the ecosystem an’ leave corpses floatin’ around atop the water.

If ya ain’t prepared for that, an’ if ya can’t accept that, then don’t go doin’ anythin’ unwanted.

‘Cause of that, I frankly don’t intend on cooperatin’ with ya as of right now, Bouzu.

It’s somethin’ so dangerous I can’t just sit back an’ watch… It’s to the point where I wanna stop ya from jumpin’ off that sheer cliff you’re headin’ towards myself, because you’re important to me.

Bouzu. Still, if you’re willing to sell your soul to the devil to get that dream of yours realized… If that’s the extent you’re ready to go to, I’m willin’ to lend ya a hand, with a few strings attached.

Do ya think I’m just talkin’ outta my ass? This sound like a lil’ ol’ joke to ya?

If that’s the case just laugh this all off and pretend ya heard nothin’. If you’re that stupid, then it’s just not worth it to help ya~

But if you seriously wanna put your life on the line, if for some reason ya wish to do that… I’m your man, you can come and put me to use.

I’ll help ya out and breathe life into that miracle ya desire, Bouzu.

To an extent, I feel indebted to ya. You’ve haven’t been nervous ‘round me or kept me at a distance—you’ve been my friend just ‘cause I’m me.

We’ve both grown into our roles in life, become old enough to understand the world around us, and our innocent talks have ceased, but…

I’ll still recognize you for that friendship, like a human being.

However, only once. I’ll hear out all your preachin’, and I’ll obey it, just this one time.

But that also comes with its condition, which is that ya can only use me to sort out your troubles with that underground livehouse.

‘Cause of me, things got all tangled up in there.

That place is only a short distance from Yumenosaki Academy, it could easily become a spot for a whole pack of rejects.

Seems like that could be the not-so distant future. History has its eyes on that place… And before things progress the way I see it, I can at least get said place in order.

Soon after this I’m headin’ back overseas, and I’m gonna finish up my obligations. One week should be enough time… Then, I’ll return for just one day.

And once that day passes, I’ll be crossin’ seas and settin’ foot on foreign land again.

And so during that one day, I’ll listen to one—and only one—of your demands, so you try and hush all that underground livehouse racket.

That’s the rules of the game, don’t that sound fun?

This is an exam, an assessment of your success… If you’re clever enough to use me properly and resolve the issue, from then on I’d yield to you, Bouzu.

I’ll move exactly as you desire. I’ll conduct the unmotivated punks, become the boss, or whatever else you’d want me to be.

So, Bouzu, better give it your all to satisfy this unreasonable demand.

If ya can’t, you’re finished, game over…

If ya can’t even use me to get a tiny lil’ underground livehouse the way ya want, then you won’t be able to save anything~

Savin’ Yumenosaki Academy an’ the idol industry would just be a pipe dream.

Just throw away those wishes that are far beyond your power, relax an’ enjoy your youth like the rest of us.

There’s no need for ya to choose to walk down a thorny path, Keito.

Yep, that’s all I had to say. I best hurry on out, or I’ll miss my flight, so I’ll be on my way. Ah, thanks treatin’ me to some good fruit ♪

Koga: Wa-wait a sec. You just got to go on an’ on about what you wanna say, and now you’re gonna abandon the rest of us?

That kid… Adonis or whatever, in return for takin’ care of him you’ll grant a request, right?

I’ll look after him too, so you should recognize my request as well!

Rei: Ehhh… I introduced ya to that band, so didn’t we already break even?

You’re doomed to fail if ya try an’ hold onto a wish that’s too big for your paws, Puppy.

Koga: Who the hell’s puppy? I gave you my name, I’m Oogami Koga…!

Rei: Wolves and dogs are almost identical. Though I consider dogs, who’ve gotten close with humans and thrived from it, a far superior species to wolves.

There ain’t a need to act all independent, so just evolve into a dog.

But hey, I guess it might be nice to take care of a peculiar animal every once in a while. Puppy, for one week… Work with Bouzu to get some guidance.

Bouzu, you see I’ve taught him all sortsa things. I may have to put Bouzu as the in-between, but ya can’t say you didn’t receive guidance from me, right~?

Koga: Eeh? Ah, um…? Is that right?

Rei: Yep. After a week, show me the fruits of your efforts. If I feel like I see a bit of talent shinin’ through, then I’d be cool with givin’ ya a lesson for real.

Bouzu’s still a, what do you call it, a weak lil’ guy with a head too big to carry, so you’re gonna have to help him out.

Well then… I’m seriously riskin’ missin’ my flight, so I’m outta here.

Adonis: Wait. Sakuma-senpai, what should I do? Shouldn’t I help them too?

Rei: You can do whatever ya like, Adonis-kun, but I think it’d be best if ya prioritize gettin’ used to the school settin’.

I’d like it if ya kept your nose out of trouble, just be a well behaved boy.

Instead of takin’ orders from any higher ups, like your opressin’ big sisters and I…

Do everythin’ ya wanna that you can, Adonis-kun.

Enjoy this youth, have your fill of human life.

And this goes for everyone here… You may be idols, but at the same time, you’re students. You gotta live out your teen years.

I, who others expect so much of, have to live inconveniently for it… So honestly, I’m rather jealous of you guys.

Well then. Bye-bee, I’ll see ya in a week ♪

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[wondereads]

Personal Review (08/28/22)

If You Could See the Sun by Ann Liang

Why am I reviewing this book?

Thank you to Inkyard Press and Netgalley for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review! This book first caught my eye around a month ago, and the premise really intrigued me. I then saw a post from the author about ARCs now being available, so I tried my hand and was approved!

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Alice Sun attends Airington, a prestigious international private school for the ultra-rich, on a scholarship. As talented and academically gifted as she is, it isn't enough, and she finds out she'll soon have to leave Airington. This news coincides with another revelation: Alice can turn invisible. She can't control when and she doesn't know how, but she decides to capitalize on her invisibility by teaming up with her academic rival, Henry Li, to complete tasks from her classmates to raise funds for her tuition. However, as the stakes start to rise, Alice must decide how far she's willing to go for money.

This book takes a tried and true concept and adds something new to it by bringing in a supernatural element. Now, I'll be honest, anything that involves an elite private school I will eat up every time, so I am a little biased. However, I do think this book stands out from the crowd. Alice has very good reasons for not wanting to leave Airington. Leaving would mean going to a regular school in China and having to face the gaokao, a notoriously rigorous and stressful test required for college attendance, or moving back to America, where she would be unlikely to be able to complete her IB curriculum and would face racism on the daily. Combine that with her desperation to make something of herself, especially when constantly compared to children with the world handed to them on a platter, the tension is there. Even if Alice's methods were dubious, I wanted her to succeed in the end.

In my opinion, the story does get a little slow around the middle, but it's necessary for Alice's guilt to slowly build and overtake her. I loved the comparisons between her and Macbeth, especially since English is something she cares about. Seeing Alice's gradual downfall as the stress and her conscience creep up on her really kept me on the edge of my seat; I knew she was going to crack, but when?

The only negative thing I can think of is the ending. I don't know, I was just expecting something more severe. On one hand, I'm happy for Alice since I was genuinely attached to her, but on the other, I wish the story had explored the negative effects of this sort of thing to a greater extent. Also, as would be expected in a private school full of children of the 1%, it is a little unrealistic. From aspiring idols to kidnapping plots to truly insane amounts of money being thrown around, expect some crazy antics from the students.

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

As someone who constantly regrets missing out on social activities and extracurriculars due to my obsession with academics but without it would never have stood a chance of getting into college, Alice hits a little too close to home. She's clever, talented, and driven, but she lacks the privilege of her peers and as such has developed a huge inferiority complex. Her character development as she takes her ploy for tuition too far is very well done, and her constant worry and stress were palpable. She's a character that's easy to root for, even when we know she's in the wrong.

Alice's dynamic with Henry was also just fun to read about. Academic rivals are my bread and butter, and Alice and Henry were pretty much everything I love about the concept. I will admit, Henry is a bit of a stereotype for the genre. He's the heir to a huge company that seems like everything comes easily to him but actually puts a lot of work in, especially due to pressure from his parents. However, as much as I loved the romantic subplot, to me, this book was wholly about Alice and her struggle for greatness. Still, I can appreciate how Henry is a stellar, supportive love interest.

In terms of side characters, I would like to especially discuss Alice's parents, her aunt, and Mr. Chen, her English teacher. They all share one thing in common—they are authority figures in Alice's life that truly care for her. It was just so touching to read about the ways they supported Alice, and they also brought an interesting aspect to the story. Despite their unconditional support, Alice still feels as though she is always disappointing them and that she owes them for their help. It was an intriguing concept to cover that even though Alice technically had the support she needed, her environment and personality as a result of that kept her from reaching out.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

I think the descriptions of Alice's emotional and mental well-being are the stars of the show in this case. Her constant anxiety adds a lot to the story; it made my stakes in the story grow, and it was visceral at times. As someone who is prone to episodes of intense panic, Alice's reactions were both heartwrenching and realistic. This book did a very good job of showing not telling when it came to this.

I will say that the physical descriptions were pretty average. Nothing particularly stood out to me, and I do wish Alice's own appearance had been more detailed. On the other hand, I can perfectly picture Henry due to Alice's constant attention to him (which is pure rivalry and definitely never to be mistaken for attraction). I did like the ending paragraph quite a bit and the way it tied back to both the title and the overarching theme of the book.

Meaning 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Something I really appreciated about this book was how it made it clear that money is undeniably something important. The message isn't that Alice should stop reaching above her station and be content where she is; Alice's financial situation is what got her into the mess in the first place. The message is that Alice (and others like her) deserve better, but while they work towards a better life they shouldn't forget what makes that life worth living in the first place, be it family, friends, or personal passion, all things Alice has lost sight of. In the end, Alice's friends use their privilege to help her, and they are not villainized for having that privilege nor is she villainized for desiring it.

I do wish this book had gone a little deeper on the class divide, especially between Henry and Alice. There's potential for a very big fallout there around Henry not understanding why Alice cares about money so much. I can see why it was maybe excluded or glossed over, but it would have been so interesting to see Henry in particular grapple with Alice's reality.

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Like I said before, this book takes a story that's been done many times before and executes it well with extra elements that help it stand out. Alice's invisibility brings depth to both the plot and her character, which is well-developed. Her dynamic with Henry is so much fun, and I was able to genuinely root for her the whole time despite her dubious decisions. While I do wish the story had dug into the class divide a bit more, this was overall a very good book, especially for a debut, that I thoroughly enjoyed!

The Author

Ann Liang: Chinese Australian, If You Could See the Sun is her debut novel, and she is currently in college

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every week, and I do themed recommendations every once in a while. I take suggestions! Check out my about me post for more!

[bigfatbreak]

Thoughts on a Lila redemption arc?

thoughts below!

its not impossible tbh, but the problem is, what would be gained from a lila redemption arc? we had a pretty interesting arc going with chloe before it pulled an uno card, and people were really into that, but that's because people REALLY LIKE mean. petty, rich girls who have hearts of gold. Chloe already portrayed the idea that her shallow ideals were because she didn't have any sort of affection growing up, she got things, not memories - likely why she treasures Adrien to an upsetting extent, being her one childhood friend.

With Lila, we haven't really seen any indication of why she's like this and why she might change. Sure, we see her mom isn't around that much, and that's likely what's spearheading her need for attention and affection, but not a lot more than that. She moved to a new school, rattled some bars, and now she has a vendetta because she couldn't get away with it.

Chloe wanted affection and initially showed promise to change to gain it. She had a goal, to be Ladybug's friend and ally, and to be loved, and that's what she strove for, even if it was in the most backwards ass way possible. That's a motivation we can relate to, people want to be recognized by their idols and be understood and cherished by their peers.

Lila's shown she simply wants attention and power, and to make people suffer when things don't go her way. She hasn't actually shown any sort of real attachment to anyone at her school other than just to be her fans, essentially, and no indication that she wants anything MORE than that. With Chloe, we see how her butler was able to gently convince her to throw a party with the love of her teddybear, and how when Adrien scolded her, she took it personally and was hurt, not understanding why he was upset at her cruelty.

When someone gets mad at Lila, she doesn't show guilt or confusion - rather, she gets mad that someone's mad at her, and then makes herself the victim of the situation. In my experience, people who play the victim don't generally get a redemption arc, because that would mean they show something other than... I'm not sure, cowardice? Selfishness?

It's not impossible, definitely! I could totally see Lila going through some event and people witnessing what shit is like behind the scenes, and her changing her attitude, but considering she doesn't really see people as people, rather "fans that listen to me" and "enemies who don't" it would be really hard to pull off without a last minute AHA! I TRICKED YOU INTO SMYPATHIZING WITH ME thing afterwards.

I'm a big believer that people who were victims and people who were bullies can move past that and grow into better people - teenagers are, after all, constantly changing and growing - but Lila's shown over and over she's resistant to change, because why would she change what she likes?

She likes lying and being the center of attention and acting like a victim, and hurting other people that see through her lies.

Of course, she's a child being manipulated and groomed by a much worse, much older person, who's given her ideals of power and all that, so once again, redemption isn't impossible, just like it isn't impossible for Chloe at this point.

But I do think a direct redemption arc might... be a waste? the fans have shown that they love to hate Lila and the writers love to write her as hate-able. Chloe became sympathetic when we saw her roots, but with Lila's mysterious upbringing with vague ideas about what motivates her, its easy for fans to hate her. And that can be fun! I like that Lila's around, causing a mess, making things hard - although this is definitely a kid's show, its realistic to show that sometimes, bullies get away with stuff. And its not bullies who are rich or popular or whatever, sometimes its just people who are cruel, just to be cruel, just because they didn't get their way.

I think it would be a much more interesting character arc if Lila kept working with Hawkmoth, assuming she would get everything she wanted from someone who hates Ladybug just like she does, only to find out he's been using her and never planned to keep her as anything more than an asset. Lila uses people all the time, for affection, for attention, for vengeance, as a shield against criticism - doing everything in her power to accommodate for a liar would knock the air out of her and really force her to rethink some things, or go into a rage and attack hawkmoth directly. That would be super interesting, sort of a 'you can dish it but you can't take it' situation that would feel more realistic for a lila-centric turnaround.

She's likely never going to feel guilty about the things she does to people, but if she's the one that's lied to? If she's the one that's hurt? If she's the one who was offered power and dreams and promises of glory only to find out it was a huge lie just to use her?

Oh, she'd change her tune real quick.

[hannybkpop]

Dancing Dreams

Chapter 1

(I would love some feedback especially since i decided to start writing again, I will also be working on re-writing My Han Fanfiction and making it better, Thank you)

Synopsis ..... As a 20yr old born and raised in Busan South korea, you finally moved forward in your life and managed to Join The Best Dance company out there. You make Friends you could never forget and so many memories you will cherish in your life. Your love Life will blossom and the sturggles of life will finally reach its peak. Will you manage to get through it or get overwhelmed by evrything and everyone ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was an early Monday morning, the sun rays were shinning through the cracks in your curtains perfectly lighting your face. "its too early for any of this" you groan and turn over to the other side where the sun dont shine. "Y/N get up youre going to be late!" your mom yelled at you from the kitchen. You turn back around and sluggishly sit up right, criss-cross apple sauce still half asleep and slouching forward. "Thats right" you thought to yourself, "Todays the first day of my dance class" you check your phone and time reads 7:34am. You get up and start making your way to the bathroom still dragging your feet, but you couldnt help but feel butterflies in your stomach. you make your way to the bathroom and brush your teeth, then your face and you apply lotion " you cant forget to take care of your face" you say as you laugh. You walk towards your closet wondering what to wear. your closet was full of black and white, not really any other color because brights just wasnt your thing. you decide to go with some black sweats, a white crop top and some white Filas. you decide to keep your hair down, kinda wavy and grab a hair tie for later. you head down stair and you can hear the sizzling of possibly bacon or sausage and the smell of toast. Your mom had breakfast ready for you, two eggs over easy just the way yiu love em, two strips bacon and some white toast. " Thank you, if you wouldnt have made me breakfast i would have gone on coffee for the whole day" you say wiith a moutful of toast. You tend to live off of coffee, not a day goes by without it. once you finished eating, you grab your keys and head out "Bye mom, ill see you later" you say as you turn around and wave good-bye.

You hop in your car, plug in your phone and start listening to some of your favorite tunes. The first song that plays is Enhypens Given-taken "Wake up in day one, cheonnare achim jomyeongin bichweo taeyange nunbit" you sing, using your vocal chords to their full extent. Next played Aespas- Next level which lead to ITZYs Mafia. You pull up to a starbucks and lower your music, "Hello welcome to starbucks, what can i get started for you today?" The employee asks cheerfully this morning. "Hello can i get a Venti Iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso and extra caramel" It was your go to drink, just the perfect amount of espresso and caramel mixed together. "Of course, is that going to be all for today?" she asked, "Yes ma'am, thank you" she tells you the price and you pull up the window, you grab your drink and head off straight for the dance studio. A couple more songs played through, you jammed out to Nct, Exo, A.C.E, Oneus and so many other groups and then you finally arrived. Your heartbeat accelarated slightly just at the thought that you finally get to start your dance classes.

When you were just ten years old you found k-pop, it was music you had never listened to but your curiosity got the best of you. From finding TVXQ you were slowly dragged down the K-pop hole but it was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to you. From then on 3yrs went by, you were finally 13 and you thought to yourself that you wanted to be a dancer and that someday you would be a back up dancer or a choreographer for the idols you look up to. You asked your mom to sign you up for dance classes , she agreed and signed you up for modern dancing, from then on you moved on to hip-hop, contemporate and breakdancing which was honestly possibly the hardest to learn, who knew breakdancing could make you feel like you could break yourself in a heart beat. And thats how you got here, you auditioned to join Dream Team dance studio, one of the hardest to pass and yet you managed to make it through, but the price for this dance class was pretty high so you also planned on getting a part time job.

You finally turned off your car and started heading towards the building, since you were still new here you had to follow sign procedures and which classes you would be available for and suited for. You headed towards what seemed to be the front desk but didnt see anyone there. "Hello?" you called out, and then a girl peeked her head out the corner of her office "Hello sorry i didnt hear you walk in" she said very sweetly " what can i do for you today?". You open your bag and pull out the paperwork you had to fill out Prior to your first day "Oh, i am new here and today is going to be my first day starting my dance classes" you hand her the papers and she goes through, she tells you to give her a quick minute and she walks back to the office, she comes back with a lanyard and keycard attached " Welcome to DT, Heres your badge" she hands the item over to you and you seemed kinda confused " oh, sorry let me explain. So we do get certain people who come thorugh to practice at times and we use this badge so that any unwanted personal dont just barge through wihtout permission. we really do want our dancers to feel safe and comfortable in this enviroment" its like she read your expression. So many questions came to mind of who could possibly come to this studio, Idols seems to cross your mind but you just push it away because it only happens ever so rarely. "Thank you so much, ill make sure not to lose this", you start to head towards the doors and turn around because it totally slipped your mind to ask what room your class was in. “im sorry, but what room will i be heading to?” you ask. “ oh, right i guess we forgot, you will be headed to  floor 7 room c” - she chuckles. You start to make your way back to the double doors then you hear her say " if you lose the badge, its a $100 fee to replace it", You grab the badge tighter knowing that thats alot of money just to replace it. You excitedly scan your badge and make your way through the double doors, as soon as you walk through you see a cafeteria  to your right and a mini market to your left. You walk towards the cafeteria and see that they also have a cafe in the corner. “oh hell yeah, i can grab myself some coffee anytime i want now’” you think to yourself as you sip on your starbucks.   You turn around and starts making your way to the elevators, as you walk back you overhear a group of girls chatting about floor 7, you stop in your tracts to listen in a little more, you werent trying to eavesdrop but you were still new here and wanted to know what they had to say about the floor your class is in.  They started talking about how the rumor about idols showing up at the dance studio was true but the only floor they ever go to was floor 7, since floor 7 was were the best choreographers were located. You start to walk away slowly picking up your pace because in your head that was impossible, you werent notified exactly of who the special personal was. You thought maybe you should have asked more in depth questions, but you didnt because you were so excited. You finally make a stop at the elevator doors almost running straight into them,you push the up arrow button and the doors open. When you head inside you push level 7 but on the mini screen it says Please scan badge. You grab your  badge slightly shaking and scan, you get approved and the doors close.  The  elevator starts to go up and you are so deep in your thoughts you start thinking out loud. You start pacing back in forth asking yourself if what the girls were saying  was true. The last thing you needed was for an artist to show up and make a fool out of yourself, at this point you have your arms up in the air and you dont notice that the elevator stopped on floor 3. As you turn around you see three different males standing infront of the levator staring at you, all three were in black masks and some sort of hat making it hard to notice their faces. You make eye contact with one and the realise your arms are still up in the air. “oh my god, i am so sorry” you say as you are still panicking. The one on the left giggles to himself, the one on the right is unphased but the one in the center kept eye contact with you. You  could barely utter another word, but you manged to scoot over and make room for the three of them. You are so embarassed you face away and place your head against one of the elevator walls. You see that one of them goes to push floor 7 as well but they realise that floor number 7 is already chosen. They look over and notice that you also have a badge that lets you in the top floor but they leave it at that. The ride from floor 3 to floor 7 seemed like it was taking forever, and you couldnt believe that on your first day you managed to make a fool out of yourself. You finally reach floor 7 and the elevator doors open. You make your way out first   and walk as fast you can to room C, the  boys follow behind. With your mind still racing you walk straight passed room C  unknowingly that you almost run into a window at the end of the hall.  As soon as you come to a stop you hear, “ You do know thats a window, and not a door right?” he says with a mocking tone. “ oh yeah, i knew that, i just wanted to take in some sun” you say as you turn back around and go straight for room C.  “Hyunjin, youre going to be late for our dance class” han says  after opening the door to room A, “Sorry, i just wanted to take in some sun” he giggles to himself.

You have eyes looking at you from running in and closing the door shut, your face lights up red "I'm sorry". You continue to walk in and the dance room catches your eye, its so spacious, the walls painted an oxford blue, and a set of two clear window that reach from top to bottom on the left. "First time here i see" one of the girls calls out to you, "oh yeah, this dance room is nice" you are in complete awe. "i was the same way the first time i walked in this room, by the way if you dont mind me asking, what was that all about earlier?" she cocked her head to the left. "oh that~, so i made a complete fool of myself infront of these guys who were on the elevator with me, i guess i was so nervous that i also almost walked into the window at the end of the hall until one of them called out to them" you say with a slight laugh as you look down on the floor. "Oh geex, i would have probably done the same. So whats your name?", "my name is Y/N, whats yours? you ask, "Oh my name is Elizabeth but you can call me Eli, i hope we can be good friends from now on". As soon as she finished the doord behind us opened, "Hello, it seems like everyone here seems aquianted, well lets get started from where we left off. Hello you must be y/n, i have heard alot about you from our scouts who were at the auditions." She says with a very curious tone, you can feel all eyes on you. "He-hello" you tense up slightly just at the thought the teacher knows who you are. The class officially starts and everyone seems to have gone to their places, you make your way towards the back of the class to watch the dance everyone one learned last semester. You watched them practice a couple times before you joined in. After going through the dance a couple more times Eli looks at you in awe "I can see why you were accepted into classes in the 7th floor, youre really good"

  Classes proceeded for the rest of the day that time went by so fast, it was already 7pm and it was time to go home. "So i believe i will be seeing you tomrrow?" Eli asked, "Definitely, i had so much fun today and im so excited for the rest to come. I might stick around to practice just a little more" You say with enthusiasm in your voice. Eli leaves while waving back and youre the only one left in the room. You walk up to the radio and plug in your phone through the aux chord, you scroll through your playlist you are debating between Enhypen- given taken, TXT- Puma and Starykids latest release Thunderous. You decide to go with thunderous since you just had decided to change the end because you crouched down and walked foward by yourself it would look funny. You finally finished making the end and finally remmebering it so you decide to finally run through the whole dance. After dancing Thunderous a couple times you finaly drop down tired, you hear the door open behind you and turn around to see who could possibly still be here and to your suprise its the 3 mysterious men from earlier. "You're really good, did you make the ending for Thunderous?" asks the one with the medium length black hair, his voice sounds so familiar but you cant seem to remember who it could be. "Oh uhm, yes i did. i kinda figured if i danced it alone i would look stupid" You giggled to yourself "Like imagine crouching down and doing this?" you start to do the ending of the dance, "Youre right, haha it would look kinda funny" Says the one on the left, and again his voice also sounds very familiar but you really cant remember. " I guess we should introduce our selves, My name is Changbin, Seo Changbin" Your eyes widen, "Hi My name is Jisung, Han Jisung. But don't tell anyone you saw us" He shoots a wink. "Well i guess it my turn, My name is Hwan hyunjin, and if you ever feel like Getting some sunshine again Make sure not to try to run out the window" He laughs to himself. Youre face flushes red, You barely manage to even Speak. Did i really just make a full of myself infront of STRAYKIDS?!?! Is the only thought running through your head.

[smallcrystals]

opinions or hcs or other shit like that on flashlight (princess twilight and either human or pony flash LMAO)

ngl i don't have much of an attachment to pony flash as i used to when i was younger 😭 i think ever since i got obsessed w eqg i've been more human flash oriented

i used to love flashlight when i was younger! i think now it's more of a "omg theyre so cute :((" ship for me now than an otp

ppl always say pri twi x human flash it's a forced het romance (when it's only rlly het if you see it that way, they're both bi idc) and that they had no proper connection and i can see why they say that? but still, there's nothing so horrible about it that it warranted so much hate for the past few years

eqg flashlight is an interesting concept if you think about it because it's clear that they both like each other somewhat but due to unfortunate circumstances, they can't really do anything about it? i feel like we don't really give flashlight enough credit on that because this happens in real life too, albeit to a less dramatic extent circumstance wise.

they also had flash canonly move on from pri twi despite there have being no rejection made from her whatsoever. and that happens unfortunately! sometimes ppl leave without giving unfinished relationships closure due to other priorities and sometimes we can’t rlly blame them for that.

having the love interest of a show be told they should probably move on and have them ACTUALLY move on and be somewhat of his own person isn't something i see in children's media AT ALL so i'm actually glad with the way they went about it. it's still sad bc they were really cute, it's just realistic i guess? and it just gives him some development too!

i do like to think pri twi and pony flash have some sort of feelings for each other, i just don't have much to say abt that hc wise as i'm not that into fim anymore

though, there is this one vague idea i have in my head? like, for a post-high school story (i'm obsessed with these, as you can tell) which involves the girls needed pri twi for help and so she brings over flash from equestria too and the two flash's meet due to the story

appearance wise i imagine their human forms to be kinda different? pony flash is more himbo like whereas human flash is kinda twinky compared to him (yet he's like 80% muscle).

sunset is jarred because bringing pony flash along wasn't part of the plan. they have him in a disguise as they wander around town, pri twi and pony flash rlly confused until sunset shows them that human flash is . literally a celebrity. so if pony flash is just walking around canterlot looking like a fucking famous idol, it'd be a problem??

eventually the two flashes do meet and i can personally see them butting heads mainly bc they have slightly different views and judge each other a bit too heavily but they get over it !!! bc they have other stuff to deal with together <3

these post-high school ideas i have w eqg are always incomplete bc i have no idea what to do with them but !!!!! yeah that's rlly all i've got for flashlight tbh! they are very cute and i love them v much

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [13/40] The Scholarship Application

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.2k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl @yuriewolfhard @jisungsdreamy @mischeifmakerliesmith5 (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist 

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist 

The class was boring, not that your mind wasn't clouded with Joshua since you talked with him a few hours ago, even though he was busy he managed to make time for you so you won't feel neglected and it just made you fall for him more.

The bell rang loudly indicating that the class was over, students sighing in relief that they could now go to their home and rest, today has been especially exhausting for everyone.

"Students, there are a couple of new notices attached on the notice board, have a look at them before going off to your homes, you may find something you are interested in."

Miu approached you, bumping your shoulder with hers, throwing a teasing smile on your way.

"I see you had a talk with Joshua, there's a different glow on your face whenever you talk with him, it's easy to tell."

You shook your head, your hand making its way to touch your cheeks, was your affection towards the said boy that obvious?

"Let's go and check the notice board."

"You go ahead, I'll do it some other time, I have an essay to write which I forgot about."

She waved you goodbye, making her way towards the university library and you make your way towards the notice board to check it out.

"Wow, no one really got time to check it out even after the professor clearly told us to."

You stood in front of the notice board taking note of each and every event supposed to take place and the competitions to be held.

You were looking through the different notices when you noticed a small poster had fallen down from the board, you slid the glass off the board and took it out and pasted it back.

You looked at the notice.

INTERNATIONAL PARTNERSHIP : Would you like to continue your studies in a different country?

Study in a different environment and learn about different cultures, XYZ University has become a part of International Partnership Universities that could be perfect for your degree. Check out the list of universities below and sign up in your student office now.

What is this? International Partnership?

Your eyes scanned the list of different universities who were the part of said partnership along with your university, until they stopped on a name you weren't aware you were looking for.

Seoul University, South Korea

You took the notice with you as you made your way towards the student office.

"Hello, I'm here from the notice about the international partnership program."

The lady who sat at the reception smiled at you nodding her head, asking you to continue.

"Can anyone take part in the program or do I need to qualify for it?'

"Well, any student can apply as long as their attendance and grades are good enough."

"Just that? I do think my grades and attendance are decent enough, will you check them for me to see if I can apply?"

"Sure, give me your identification card."

You nodded your head, fishing inside your bag to take out your identification card and hand it over to her, you saw her insert the information into her laptop as she checked your attendance and grades.

"You do have decent attendance and good grades so it's safe to say you can apply for the program, do you have your required documents now or you want to submit them later? Also you need to fill this form and attach all the document's copy with it and submit it to me and you're ready to go."

She gave you the form and you made your way out of the office. You were excited to fill this form and go to Seoul to study, it would be a great surprise for him and he could spend time with you whenever he had time too.

Now you just needed to ask your parents permission to go to study in Seoul and you just hoped they would allow you.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"We won't allow you to go all the way to South Korea from here, alone."

"Why do you always have to cut off my freedom because you are too worried about me, even if I want to try some new things, you always show me the negative sides of it instead of encouraging me."

You had visited your parents house in the outskirts of the city since you wanted to talk with them about the program you had applied to, but they downright rejected your request even before listening to it fully, you were actually really excited to go study in Korea but all they thought was how you will go there alone and won't be able to take care of yourself.

It pissed you off since they never gave you the freedom to actually face challenges for you to grow.

"I'm going and that's final Dad, I just came here to tell you about my decision."

"You're going to regret it, can't you see? Your mother's health keeps on getting worse and worse and all you wanna do is go study in some other country."

"It isn't like mom's been in good health, she has been like that since forever, I'm not saying I don't care about her but please stop dragging her health into my decision to study abroad."

Your mother had leukemia and she had been struggling with the said disease since you were ten and it felt wrong that your father was making her an excuse to keep you with him.

The fact was, your parents were overly concerned for you, they wanted you to somehow learn all the hardships of life without experiencing them, they always stopped you from doing anything which they thought wasn't necessary to do according to them.

"Your mother won't be happy knowing you're being a brat."

"I'm going dad, you can't stop me, I don't care now, you've always stopped me from doing what I love, I won't let you and our family problems get into a way of my happiness."

You made your way towards the living room of the house as soon as you said that.

"Break all of your relationship with our family if you want to go."

Your steps halted as soon as your father said those sentences and you turned around glaring at him, disbelief written all over your face.

"You're going to go to such an extent just to stop me from doing what makes me happy? Fine, I don't want to be in any sort of relationship with a family who doesn't even consider my happiness."

You slammed the door shut, not looking back even once because you knew he wasn't standing there to even watch you for the last time.

Your father was a selfish man who only cared about his interests and feelings, never once in his life he tried to understand what his family desired and that's the mere reason why your older brother committed suicide, because your father didn't allow him to fulfil his dreams but you weren't going to let him get in a way of your happiness.

With tears in your eyes you hailed a cab, making your way back to apartment.

[autumnblogs]

Day 24: Murderstuck

https://homestuck.com/story/3297

This is one of my single favorite flashes.

I wonder if Sacrificial Slabs are Paradox Space’s way of rewarding players who have an indomitable will to prevail, to the extent that they are completely prepared to either to live or to die to fulfill their true will.

Aradia certainly bore the Burden of Time - of death, and endings, and inevitability - on behalf of her teammates to its absolute conclusion. Vriska may have struck the final blow, and Gamzee may have done the absolute largest single blow of damage to the King, but I’m inclined to say that Aradia is the real MVP.

Of course, sometimes, power is just meaningless, and characters stumble ass-backwards into it, or are deliberately manipulated into it by nefarious actors, but part of me likes to imagine that P-Space itself, to whatever extent it is an actor, tends to push those who have the Right Stuff to become gods, rewards strength of mettle and character, for good or ill.

That is to say, it rewards the sort of people who are probably already going to die a Heroic or Just death, not the sort to be ignominiously murdered. Of course, the vast majority of characters who God Tier in Homestuck are ignominiously murdered and become Gods purely because they are manipulated or maneuvered into it by someone else. So maybe the real moral of the story is that Power Has No Spiritual Significance.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/3306

Act 5 spends a lot of time writing checks that won’t be cashed until the very end of the comic, with an enormous gap between the setup and the payoff. A lot of this stuff is completely irrelevant until about the last 100 pages of the comic, mechanically, but thematically, it exposits on some of the central themes of Homestuck by making the mechanics parallel to the themes, I think.

https://homestuck.com/story/3315

Taking note of this - Ectobiology is dependent on the force of destiny in Homestuck. Things have a canonical future.

Non-canonical outcomes are rendered irrelevant when they are doomed.

https://homestuck.com/story/3320

This is actually starting to become a running theme on closer examination - experiences like Godhood, and Lunar Awakening, which are clearly telegraphed as being intentionally spiritual experiences have their spirituality sabotaged in almost all cases by some nefarious influence.

So maybe in keeping with its general criticism of narratives and character arcs and attempts to categorize the human experience, the deconstruction of the universe mechanics that it has built up are part of the way that Homestuck criticizes cultural narratives.

https://homestuck.com/story/3321

It occurs to me that unlike the entire rest of Homestuck, characters in these walkarounds are able to talk to each other unmediated - at least, the trolls are. I’m not sure if the kids ever do, but probably not.

The Trolls’ set up lends itself to the interpretation of computers and mediated communication as basically alienating in the Homestuck setting. The meteor computer room creates a setting where the most pain free way of engaging with each other is still pretty much through text, and with the exception of the sparse conversations the characters have like this, I don’t think it’s likely that they talk much once they’re on the meteor.

Karkat and Terezi’s short fling is extremely defining for both of them as the real romantic leads amongst the trolls, in a sort of ass backwards sense. They don’t get together in the end, but by the end of the comic, with the exception of Dave for Karkat, and Vriska for Terezi, they really do seem like they are the most important people in each other’s lives.

https://homestuck.com/story/3355

Doc Scratch and Lord English’s memes really are forced memes - something that they make A Thing practically by orchestrating events in order to make them A Thing. They’re empty signifiers, self-referential phrases and images that symbolize nothing except for themselves, emblematic of Lord English’s hegemony. Like Caliborn’s fixation on red herrings and shitty twists.

https://homestuck.com/story/3365

One half of Terezi’s facade is broken - she obviously can’t stand to look death in the face once it’s someone that she knows. But she’s still pretty attached to her whole vigilante schtick. It’s all she knows.

https://homestuck.com/story/3438

I think it’s fascinating that Nepeta ships Tavros with Dave considering the parallels between them. It’s implied that Nepeta has contacted Dave at least some, and as the Rogue of Heart, maybe she’s picked up on those parallels.

And as long as we’re discussing Dave, let’s discuss Gamzee and Equius who are both trolls associated with Dave in terms of which humans they have important interactions with.

Equius and Gamzee are, to some extent or another, both parodies of Dave, through their unhealthy relationship with cultural fixtures and figures, and their physical struggle, I think, corresponds to Dave’s internal struggle with starting to question his idolization of Bro and his own indoctrination into the sort of miniaturized death cult represented by Bro’s toxic influence.

What I’m saying here, I guess, is that if we view Gamzee’s religiosity as corresponding to Dave’s Hero Worship, and we view Equius as a parody of Dave, what we can read out of murderstuck is this;

If Dave attempts to live up to his Bro’s ideals of manhood, it will strangle the best parts of him to death.

https://homestuck.com/story/3465

This seems a fine place to pause. We’ll get into John and Vriska’s feelings jam tomorrow.

I beat the Four Kings solo on NG+ today. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my shift, between chats, finishing that playthrough. I may be a Homestuck theorist, but my more impressive credential is that I have, in fact, beaten Dark Souls.

For now, Cam signing off, Alive, and feeling like Hot Shit.

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

I've been thinking (because I'm quarantined and bored, sorry )..how it could be possible for Jack to form a good friendship? ...I mean even if a person shows affection, good intentions or a real interest on his stuff... the chance of Jack's betrayal is still there. I don't know I'm wondering ..if he can have a healthy friendship.

*cackles*  Jack Spicer, as he is in XS, is not capable of forming a stable and healthy relationship, despite the fact that he desperately wants and needs one.  And if that ain’t the tragedy of the whole series.

The Jack of Showdown

Just when Jack finally starts to actually warm up and be open and honest about his feelings with others, he either gets grossly mistreated (“The Deep Freeze,” “The Apprentice”) or is presented with the choice of being loved and accepted, despite who he is and what he’s done, or giving in to his baser instincts and double crossing his new would-be friends to get praised by someone who could not care less about him (“The Apprentice”).  It’s difficult to tell if Jack feels he doesn’t deserve to be happy for some deep and personal reason, or if he’s so focused on being seen as EVIL™ and not good; that he believes he must take any and all opportunities to prove his evil worth.  Whatever the reason, the Jack in XS would need someone that will stick by his side no matter what decisions he makes, or what actions he takes to push that person away.  Someone who unconditionally supports him and wants to be by his side.  The problem is, that’s more of a pet and has the potential to become quite toxic.

The Jack of Chronicles

As for the Jack of XC, he has some boundaries, and he’s not quite as ruthless.  He knows he’s kind of a loser, but he still really wants a girlfriend to help boost his sense of masculine ego.  But more importantly, he just wants a friend, to the point that he was willing to pay people to hang out with him (just like in XS “Something Jermaine,” “Judging Omi” and XC’s “Magic Stallion and the Wild Wild West,” “Buddy Blue Ray and the Golden Bunnies,” and “Heal Me”).

Jack enjoys Wuya’s company, but she gets frustrated with his lack of action in favor of building capital or just having fun (the Golden Toilet arc, “Super Cow Patty,” “Tokyo Madness,” and “Omi Saves the Holidays” among many others).  Jack seems to have moved out of his parent’s basement, and is now in his own warehouse/factory, so he’s really trying to focus on starting up his Evil Business idea and often refers to himself as an “evil entrepreneur” throughout the series.  While Wuya appreciates the “go get ‘em” spirit, she still feels that Jack isn’t doing enough to help her, which is the whole reason they teamed up in the first place.  Because of her nagging attitude and matriarchal approach to the relationship, Jack often feels smothered and refuses to act.  However, he still has boundaries and refuses to do certain things if they are not in his interests as well (“Back in the Flesh Again”).

Jack and Shadow

With Wuya as Jack’s pseudo-mother, he needs a datemate to call his own.  Gone is his curiosity in Kimiko (though he does seem to think she’s still cool), but if it’s any other girl, he will do his best to impress her.

Case in point Willow--who he tried to ask on a date if he won the Showdown Trio in “The Fall of Xiaolin.”  She strongly states that she isn’t interested in him in the least, and because the two never see each other again, I would assume Jack dropped the pursuit.

Shadow on the other hand, he likely sees a lot of himself in her.  They’re both evil, admire Chase, they seem about the same age, and... that’s about where the similarities end.  Shadow’s actions say that she is repulsed by Jack, but she never pushes him away, and even praises his “doo-hickies” (“The Laws of Nature,” “Rocco”).  With the use of camera drones, Jack witnessed a lot of the private behavior and abuse between Chase and Shadow, and even some of the abuse in person ( “Tigress Woo,” “Rocco”).  Even the cold open of “Who Shrunk Master Fung?” features Jack being very careful not to harm a strange bird, who is later revealed to be Shadow.  Case in point, the Jack of XC has a streak of kindness in him, and it is unclear if Shadow sees that and resents Jack for having it, or if she admires that aspect of him.  Regardless, after the events of “The Laws of Nature,” where Jack effectively double crosses Chase (and her by extension), Shadow likely made the choice to never trust Jack completely.  She double crosses him at the end of their wonderful team up in “Back in the Flesh Again.”  And Jack doesn’t even get upset or angry about the loss and betrayal.  He’s even more smitten and tries to brag to Omi and Ping Pong before realizing they aren’t into it and flies off.

Overall Jack and Shadow have feasible grounds for a relationship--even a romantic one--if they could both create some honesty and trust between each other, but neither is willing to do that, despite Jack’s over sharing (literally every time he opens his mouth around Chase).  For further reading on Jack’s relationship with Shadow and Chase, check out this post.

Jack doesn’t interact with Tigress, Kimiko’s older sister, much, but he does bother to keep tabs on her and warns Kimiko about her sister’s more nefarious activities (“Tigress Woo”).  It’s unclear if he did this in an effort to get closer to the Monks as a friend, or if he was stalking Tigress because he was attracted to her.  In either case, Tigress is never seen again or mentioned by Jack.

Jack’s Other Interests

There are a handful of episodes in XC that revolve around Jack seeing or meeting another evil-doer and fixating on them, often trying to model himself after them in some fashion.  He does this with PandaBubba to a lesser extent in “Magic Stallion and the Wild Wild West,” then goes full blown fan for Super Cow Patty (in his self-titled episode) and later Le Mime in the same episode, making fan videos and full costumes with personas for both his fixations.  In both instances with the truly evil characters (PB and Le Mime), Jack was looking for a sense of acceptance by an Evil Businessman and entrepreneurial peer, and a sense of belonging to a larger community with Le Mime and his henchmen.  That desire for belonging to a larger community is reiterated earlier in the series with “Heal Me” and Reverse!Jack’s cult.

However, when presented with an actual fan of his, Tiny Sim, Jack is actually somewhat reluctant to have the fan tag along with him.  And maybe that was for the best, as Jack soon discovers that the fan he inspired to become Evil is actually a lot better at it than he, himself, is (“Drawn to be Evil”).  In retaliation, Jack confines the fan to being just a creative idea intern.  Jack is essentially taking credit for all of Tiny Sim’s ideas, and not paying the kid a thing.  Sim, either because he’s doing what his idol taught, or because he feels cheated, makes it a priority to take a Wu or two when he can out of Jack’s stash (“Mark of the Dragon Spirit”).  Sadly, the series ended before the relationship between these two could be further developed.  It wouldn’t have been healthy, but at least it would have been something.

Another important note, Jack does make the clear distinction in both series that the gallery of sellswords he pays to be around him are only in it as long as there’s money for them to be had.  They are not his friends, they will never be his true friends, they’re just people he pays until the money runs out (“Something Jermaine,” “Judging Omi”).  So Katnappe, Tubbimura, Cyclops (after their initial debut), and to a lesser extent Vlad will never truly be Jack’s friends.  Vlad does make a return in XS’s “The Demon Seed” to try and cheer Jack up (not that he’s very good at it), but he doesn’t seem to want anything from Jack other than to do evil things and pal around.  This is a bit of a departure from their first encounter where Jack was presumably paying Vlad to be his hired muscle and inside man (“The Deep Freeze”).

Jack’s Robots

Jack’s relationship with his various Jackbots and other robots is an interesting one.  It’s possible that he created them out of a sick sense of wanting to have friends that he could control, but it comes back more to how the bots are presented in both series.

The Jackbots of XS seem to have a hive mind of sorts, as they will blindly (and sometimes literally) follow their master’s commands.  Those that fall are replaced as if nothing happened to the fallen Jackbot; their numbers are legion.  The bots are later programmed with emotions and feel sadness, but not fear.  This is interesting, because Jack is shown having temper tantrums from time to time, but he doesn’t break things, only tosses them around (“The Journey of A Thousand Miles”).

Jack’s relationship with the more “custom” humanoid robots is split into a binary.  On the one side are the bots that went rogue and have tried to annihilate him or simply want nothing to do with him: Chameleon Bot, Robo!Jack, and the patent-pending Shen Gong Wu Detect-o-bot.  On the other side are the bots he grew very attached to: Yesbot, his Cheerbot squad, and the Shen Gong Wu Detect-o-bot before it went rogue.  Both Yes~ and Detect-o~ allow Jack to be more of a child, as he is depicted being held like a scared child with both of them (if I remember correctly.  “Oil in the Family,” “The Demon Seed”).  He treats them like the parent he doesn’t have around.  The Cheerbots are his hott Barbie dolls that he gets to dress up and maintain.  He doesn’t go much farther than projecting personalities and life problems onto them.  Eventually they are absorbed into the Jackbot hive.

Remember how Jackbots don’t show or know fear in XS?  XC opens with Jack having a tantrum, and many of his various designs of bot run away from him.  Jack is left cornering Chefbot, who has darts sticking out of his chef’s hat.  Rather peculiar for robots to be afraid of their master, especially since they are meant to be hoards of drones.  As Chefbot is developed as a character, Jack comes to respect his creation more, but Chefbot says he has no interest in hanging around someone like Jack; he wants to go places and be a real chef!  He can’t do that if he’s making paltry snacks for Jack.  Chefbot’s last appearance in the series is on a cooking show (either on TV or YouLook) making pizza, while Jack follows along from his RV.  Jack seems quite relaxed and at ease, even using the Banyan Twister Shen Gong Wu to stretch his body and the pizza dough.  It is never stated, but perhaps Jack is proud of his creation accomplishing it’s dream.

Thank You for Being a Friend

In conclusion, the Jack of XS is incapable of having a healthy friendship with anyone, either because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it or because he really is just a terrible person and pushes everyone away.  He would need someone to stand by and support him no matter what he does and no matter how horribly he treats that person.  Such a relationship has the potential to become toxic if boundaries are not set and if Jack doesn’t grow as a person.

The Jack of XC is desperate for a single friend, but 98% of the cast sees him as a pathetic loser, and not worth a second of their time.  Those that do see value in Jack’s companionship have all been hurt by Jack’s betrayal and lack of trust, or have betrayed Jack, because they have no trust in him (often from a previous encounter).  For this Jack to form a stable friendship, he needs someone who he can talk to honestly, openly, and not be judged for his feelings, and he seems to want someone who talks the same way to him.  He’s ready for a relationship, he just doesn’t have the rapport or trust built up with anyone.

TL;DR

Jack lacks basic trust in all his relationships.  He would need someone he can constantly count on, while also setting healthy and reasonable boundaries with that person.  If honesty and trust--ABSOLUTE TRUST--is there, Jack can have a friend, maybe even something more.

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, JORDAN! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF GADRIEL.

Admin Rosey: Eeeeeee! Jordan you have no idea how much I’m bouncing off the walls because you brought us such an unparalleled Gadriel! I was hoping, with all my heart, that someone would dare to write a character that is full of such unfettered love, and you did it. All the more, you didn’t hold back with the adoration that seems to burrow itself into every single facet of the character. Your para sample was an absolute thrill to read and truly, I couldn’t have asked for someone more capable of delivering the Gadriel we all know and love. Thank you so much for this wonderful application - it had me grinning from ear to ear. Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Jordan

Age | 23

Personal Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level | I’m not in school or working right now, so I do have quite a bit of free time on my hands. However, I still have real life stuff that crops up occasionally, and I’m currently looking for a job, so  if/when?? (hopefully) that happens I’ll let you guys know! As it stands, I can on average devote a few hours each day to rp’ing, though that might vary depending on the day.  

Timezone | EST

Triggers | REMOVED

How did you find the group?  | I saw Rosey reblog the prerelease advertisement thing and the rest was history. 

Current/Past RP Accounts | https://chandlerrosen.tumblr.com/ 

IN CHARACTER

Character | Gadriel

What drew you to this character? | 

Though there were quite a number of characters I considered applying for at various stages, I kept coming back to Gadriel. Within her character is everything I’m familiar with, and yet nothing that I’ve written before. I study (or studied, technically) early modern literature and art history, with a focus on Catholic theology, so I was initially drawn to Gadriel’s background as a martyred saint. I love her grief, I love the way she grows from it while still carrying it with her. I love her fighting for compassion and pacifism, while still being shrouded by the monstrous aspect of her that has always lingered within. Her love is her driving force, and her vision all encompassing, and for the “greater good,” but she is still so selfish. More on this now!

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? | 

i. beware of false prophets [. . .] ye shall know them by their fruits

The God she loved was not always a benevolent one, but she loved Him nonetheless, the words of the scripture a familiar glaze on her tongue, weaving its way through the air as it settles around her like a warm blanket. These were the words she lived by, and the words she, in another life, died by. But now these words, and the God who fomented them, are obsolete—ash and dust, they swirl around her still, only a faint echo of their former glory. Now, the residents (those who choose to partake in religion) worship the Hundred-Eyed God—instead of fire and brimstone, this new deity promised everlasting serenity. Gadriel, like most residents of Caelum, doesn’t worship the Hundred-Eyed God, but as God’s most devout and loving follower, she is faced with the difficult task of protecting ISOLDE, the All-Seeing Priestess of the faith. Despite her best efforts, Gadriel finds herself liking the mortal, and where once Gadriel would have seen an idolator, she now sees what could turn into a friend. The relationship, however, is tenuous, and Gadriel is very reluctant to let herself become attached to the girl—it didn’t end so well for the last worshipped figure in Gadriel’s life. But more than that, Isolde feels like a punishment, or rather, like she should be a punishment. Sure, it pains Gadriel to watch new rituals when the old ones sit in her bones and on her tongue, aching to be remembered and repeated, but otherwise, her task is, at times, an enjoyable one. So when will the other shoe drop? I’m very interested in seeing how this relationship will develop, and how ESTIENNE will fit into it. The biography mentions that Gadriel would kill to protect ARAEL, presumably she would do the same for Isolde, if only out of obligation (though personal affection may one day be a reason as well). Whether it be Estienne or someone else, how will Gadriel, generally a pacifist, react if Isolde is threatened?

I also think it’s interesting to consider what would happen, not if Isolde is physically threatened, but if her status is somehow threatened, or if someone, say ORIAS or CASSIEL (though there are many others), challenges Isolde (an extension of the Hundred-Eyed God) as someone/something to be worshipped? Zealotry is comfortable for Gadriel, a familiar armor to lace over her chest as she draws her sword, but it has rusted and worn down, a passion without a purpose, without an outlet. I think Gadriel is far from becoming a zealot for the Hundred-Eyed God, and to be honest, I’m not sure it would ever actually happen. However, I can see this going two ways (not necessarily mutually exclusive, either): 

Gadriel develops a love for Isolde similar to the love she felt for God; it would be different, no doubt, but I think part of Gadriel’s worship of God in her mortal life came from, faith yes, but also love and a desire to be loved. Her worship of God was not entirely unselfish, but fervently pious nevertheless. Could Gadriel ever get to the point where she would take up her sword for Isolde, not against imminent danger, but against idolatry? Maybe, maybe not, and if it did, it would be, as I said, much further down the line, and certainly not as strong as the zealotry she exhibited for God, but I do think it’s an important aspect of Gadriel that cannot just be shirked because her God is dead.

Regardless of Isolde and how Gadriel may feel about her, there is still a part of Gadriel, no matter how slowly waning it may be, that fought tooth and nail to worship her God, both as a human and angel. And now, with people cropping up, Orias, Cassiel, Michael, etc. who try to fill that void He left, to be worshipped in their own right, I’m interested in how Gadriel will react. Obviously, Gadriel is not omnipotent, and therefore doesn’t necessarily know the extent to which these various figures have designs on power, on reverence. But throughout the course of the roleplay, I think as their actions reflect their intentions, and as those intentions become clearer, the familiar feeling of zealotry will crop up again, burning inside Gadriel’s bosom as it once had. Perhaps something starts it, perhaps she will see the corruption of mortals, of her fellow angels, even, and she wants to stop it. It’s not something she could do alone, at least not successfully, and depending on where Gadriel is in her development, she might not even care at first. But I still think it would be interesting to explore, and which unlikely alliances she may form to quell the rising of a new, different, idol. 

ii. should intermitted vengeance arm again / His red right hand to plague us?

For every cloud, there is a silver lining, and for every slain deity, a world to be made anew. I don’t think Gadriel has ever been motivated by power, and I don’t think she is now, either. I do think, however, that she believes in a very strong vision of the world, a vision she believed she shared with her God. Of course, without God, Gadriel now has the freedom to reshape her vision, and mold the world into, as the biography states,  “her own vision of beauty.” But that which is beautiful, is also terrible, for beauty without power is vulnerability, a quality Gadriel has shedded like a skin too tight and too itchy to ever be comfortable again. There is an anger inside her, a feeling of righteousness against those she believes have acted unjustly. Namely, MICHAEL and CASSIEL. There are many people she blames for this war, for the death of her beloved God, and Michael’s name is at the top of the list. He clipped her wings, he punished her for her pride (for is hubris not the most base of the tragic flaws?), smearing her face in the dirt of her own folly by naming her the Virtue of Temperance, forcing her to protect a being instrumental to the worship of a new, unfamiliar religion. And still, Gadriel turns the other cheek. To wage outright war against Michael would be foolish, and though Gadriel is privy to foolishness (a lingering effect of her not-so-long-forgotten mortality), she isn’t that foolish. I think the dynamic between Gadriel and Michael is very interesting, and something I’d love to explore. As he hungers for more power, as Gadriel’s resentment of him festers, infecting her life’s blood with boiling wrath, when will Gadriel decide that enough is enough. And who will stand with her? 

Now onto Cassiel. Cassiel’s betrayal of the Cherubim, of Gadriel and her own people (though really, with Gadriel’s part in the war against Michael, I think Gadriel would be put on trial regardless), is another interesting avenue to explore. I mentioned Cassiel above as being a sort of “False Prophet,” and in truth, I think she is the antithesis to Gadriel. Speaking of Cherubim, I think Gadriel and ZADKIEL would actually get along fairly well, as Gadriel is (or at least was) well-liked by her fellow angels, and liked them in return, and I think they have a similar philosophy and moral compass. Would Gadriel and Zadkiel, two angels affected by Cassiel’s actions, end up lighting the spark of retribution against Cassiel? Or will it divide them? Cassiel and Gadriel are two people driven by the notion of beauty, though their definitions couldn’t be further apart. While Cassiel’s vision is of herself, Gadriel sees an eternal peace, filial piety and the burning passion of people who join in communion as one (so really, the concept of the Hundred-Eyed God should be alluring to her, once Gadriel realizes that it aligns with her vision and she could wield it considering Isolde is her charge—I digress). Perhaps Gadriel goes against Cassiel, not necessarily for past indiscretions, but present grievances. 

To create, you must destroy, and from the ashes of the old world will Gadriel’s vision of beauty rise, sheathed in gold with a purity so simple, it can only be considered divine.   

iii. when is a monster not a monster?

The answer, of course, “when you love it.” Gadriel’s connections to Asmodeus, Arael, and Mammon are all thematically concerned with when Gadriel shows her monstrous side, if at all. With ARAEL, Gadriel’s monstrous side is not hidden, because with their level of intimacy, with its purity, Gadriel holds no secrets from Arael. It just rarely (if ever) rears its ugly head. The biography mentions that Gadriel would kill for Arael, and I would like to put that to the test. I don’t know how, or when, but I want Gadriel to become a monster, all for the sake of Arael. She knows of Arael’s grief, but I’m wondering just how much Gadriel knows of Arael’s visits to ABBADON’S domain. If she doesn’t know, then perhaps Gadriel will feel betrayed. Of course, she wouldn’t take it out on Arael, there is very little Arael could do to warrant that sort of emotion from Gadriel, but I do think it would shift their relationship. If Gadriel does know, however, I wonder if Gadriel might try to take it upon herself to help Arael (if it’s unwanted, so much the better), because Gadriel is the picture of self-righteousness.  

ASMODEUS is an interesting case with regard to Gadriel’s monstrous side. She hasn’t quite figured him out, she doesn’t know his sad past, but the glances they share, the stares that betray his longing for something else, someone else, intrigue her. And I think it makes Gadriel feel powerful, this unsaid tension between them, the notion that at any moment, it could all crumble and collapse, that he could, if she so chose. I think she wants to poke and prod at him, maybe from afar at first, and then toy with him, his vulnerability between her teeth, with only gravity (the gravity she is so adept at manipulating) to crush it, or release him from her grasp. Of course, Gadriel is not without compassion, and maybe once she knows Asmodeus’ story, she’ll feel differently. It all depends on what part of Asmodeus she chooses to see: the human, or the demon.

Gadriel’s most monstrous side, her most vindictive and self-righteous, self-satisfying, parts, are shown in her relationship with MAMMON. She spared them, not because she felt pity, not because she cared, or didn’t wish to shed blood, but to show them that she could. She held their life at the end of her blade and laughed when she removed it from his throat. Surely they still harbor bitter feelings towards her, feelings of hatred and resentment, even. In Emma’s app for Mammon, she mentions how she envisions them fighting, even to the death. I fully agree, and am looking forward to their confrontation a lot. Gadriel is, generally, soft, but I want to explore those parts of her that are more monster than divine, more human than angel. 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation | 

In Gadriel’s mortal life, her driving motivation was her love for God, and her desire to be loved by God. The picture of piety, Gadriel shirked near all else to proclaim her love for God, frustrated when others wouldn’t recognize His great power, his all-encompassing love. Even when she became an angel, she was still driven by this love, but now it was realized, it was reciprocated. And rather than have that be diminished upon conquest, it only grew stronger and more fervent. 

Of course, after the war, after her wings were clipped, Gadriel turned into the dutiful angel, obeying Michael’s orders (much to her chagrin). Now she’s driven by her vision of beauty, of peace everlasting and passion overflowing. Love is still very much part of the equation, and the love she feels for Arael, for Isolde (maybe, eventually), also motivates her. But it’s her love for God, and for his vision, that stoke the fire of ambition in her loins. I think Gadriel is tired of constantly being taken for granted, being walked all over, and is using the new world as an opportunity to turn a page in her own life. To become all that she once sought to, to fulfill all righteousness on earth, and to spread her vision to all those who will listen. 

Character Traits | 

(passionate, loyal, empathetic)

(dogmatic, vengeful, obstinate)

In-Character Para Sample | 

“Brothers, sisters, friends, lend me your ears,” she began, standing in front of her fellow angels, on trial for crimes committed against Michael, committed for God. “I stand on trial today, though I believe myself innocent of all crimes, guilty only of being consumed by love. Perhaps my love was misplaced, my loyalty misguided, but is that so unreasonable? Was that not God’s almighty power—to stir inside those who are lost the guidance to follow His will through His love?” She looked around, eyes imploring as she clutched her chest. The room was bright, the sun almost overbearing and artificial, devoid of everything Heaven held, a false divinity imbuing every corner and crevice. She had been here before. But rather than in a spotless room, she was surrounded by dust and the jeers of Romans who believed her guilty of the same crime she was accused of now: treason.

“You accuse me of treason,” she began again, and the lion’s roar in her ear was so loud, she felt as though it was standing across the room from her, not Michael, “but forgive me, I knew nothing else. If my actions offended, let us rectify the situation, together. Let us venture forth, hand in hand, brothers in arms, angels enshrouded in the divinity that is our right, into this new era. But let us not paint this era with more blood than has already been shed; for is that truly what you want your legacy to entail? Fire and brimstone—would you be any better than the God you have deposed?” She raised her eyebrow, scanning the eyes of the crowd as they shifted uncomfortably. An invisible string lifted Gadriel’s spine—perhaps it was her power of gravity, perhaps newfound confidence at the uncomfortability of the angels who wished her dead.

“And how, dear sister, could we trust you?” Michael asked, unmoved, the pinnacle of strength and composure. 

“This is new territory for both of us, brother. This world has never known God’s absence—but together, and only together, could we bring it into a new Golden Age, an era of rebirth and plenty.” Everyone was silent, pondering her words. This silence was deafening, and the lion roared louder. Her heart began to race as she saw the saliva glint off the lion’s teeth, the blood staining its fur from the last human he shred. 

“You seek to do better than God? Well do better. Ff His picture of compassion was imperfect, perfect it. His vision of mercy unfulfilled, fulfill it.” The words stung her tongue as she spoke them against her God, but perhaps she could give Michael and his legions the chance to be better, if that is what they truly sought. “Violence, retribution. This is not the way, and we both know it.” 

Silence still more. Until finally, Michael made his decision. 

“Very well, you have your amnesty. But Gadriel, this can not go unpunished.” He contemplated further, his hands steepled like a church she once worshipped at, before continuing, “your wings will be clipped, and we will watch you. Very closely.” He nodded, but she could tell this wasn’t his desired outcome. 

“Thank you, Michael, for your compassion. You won’t regret it,” she said through gritted teeth, sharp as a lion’s, before she sheathed them. Not now. Not today. Today, she lived, and she will continue to do so, if only to continue God’s work. For so it become us to fulfill all righteousness. 

Extras | 

i. COMPANION: By her side, Gadriel’s companion is a LION. I’m hearkening back to the typological tradition of depicting a martyred saint with the instruments of their demise. St. Lawrence has his grill, St. Catherine of Alexandria her spiked wheel, and so Gadriel will have her lion. 

ii. WINGS: Gadriel’s wings are clipped, but not torn from her back. Right now they don’t extend past her shoulder blades, but at once they were the most radiant, pure, white of the softest down. When they grow back, however, perhaps they will be muddled and murky.