#I can draw them in transparent situations

[seven-thewanderer]

dang.

how do other furry artists do it?

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[majikkulu]

━━ ❝MASTERLIST❞

in this pick-a-card reading, we’ll be exploring where you might potentially meet your future spouse. we’ll discuss both the location and the circumstances surrounding the meeting. keep in mind that this is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave the rest.

choose the picture or pile you feel most drawn to, and let the magic unfold!

𓂃⋆.˚

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ

hi, pile one! i hope you’re doing amazing. let’s get started, shall we?

i believe you will meet your future spouse when you are in a confident, vibrant energy—when you’re fully embracing your passions and hobbies, which make your energy pop! this meeting might happen while you’re focusing on yourself or socializing. your future spouse could come into your life during a time when you are strong and centred. your vibrant personality will likely draw them in! you may find yourselves meeting in a place related to your work or something that contributes to your stability. at the time of this meeting, you might feel burdened or exhausted from taking on too much responsibility. you could be dealing with stress or pressure, and your future spouse might appear during this challenging period, offering support and relief. you may be coming out of a difficult cycle in your life—perhaps dealing with betrayal, emotional pain, or simply overworking yourself. you’ll be healing from these hardships, and that’s when your future spouse will enter your life, bringing a new chapter filled with peace after you’ve released something painful.

possible locations for your meeting: a social event, party, gathering, a place where you feel comfortable or at home, a work-related setting, the gym, or even at a graduation.

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ

hii, pile two! i hope you’re doing great! let’s get into it!

your meeting with your future spouse might occur when there’s a lot of communication involved, like online. you might meet your future spouse while you’re both experiencing new things, learning something new, or sharing your opinions on a topic that stimulates you both. you may encounter your future spouse during a time when either of you is dealing with unhealthy attachments, fears, or challenges that need to be overcome. for some of you, i feel it could be a one-night stand or something in that realm. you will both be drawn to each other, but the meeting will be unexpected and may happen quickly, possibly while travelling or during a busy period in your life. things can progress rapidly between the two of you after the meeting, with a lot of communication and action taking place in a short time. it will be a time when things change quickly for you. the meeting with your future spouse might happen after you or they have walked away from a situation that no longer serves you, such as a past relationship, job, or emotional baggage, where you both are searching for something more fulfilling and meaningful. you may meet at a time when you’re both focused on yourselves.

possible locations for your meeting: online, bars, clubs, school, lectures, social media, forums, sports events, airports, train stations, or a park.

ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ

hi, pile three! how’s it going? let’s start!

you are similar to your future spouse, like you complement each other very well! you may meet your future spouse at a time when you have to make an important decision—somewhere where you need to talk a lot and prove your point. there will be a lot of idea-sharing and mental stimulation. your meeting may occur when you are both in a place of self-sufficiency and clarity. you might encounter each other in settings that value transparency, such as a workplace or a social gathering that involves politics. the circumstances surrounding your meeting might involve a sense of harmony or a need to integrate different aspects of your lives. perhaps you will both meet while collaborating on something, like a project that connects you with others. your meeting may occur after achieving a significant milestone or during a celebration. a sense of mutual admiration may draw you together.

possible locations for your meeting: offices, social gatherings, festivals, university/college settings, or workshops.

[blurredblu]

Announcing Sonic Supernova 2025!

Hello all!

I'd like to announce that planning for the fandom event Sonic Supernova 2025 is officially underway!

What is Sonic Supernova?

Sonic Supernova (Supernova for short) is an unofficial community event made by Sonic fans for Sonic fans, where artists and writers collaborate in teams to create unique fanworks for the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom over a creation period. During this time period, participants can also get to know one another in the social space created for the event, i.e. a Discord server. The end result is a fandom-wide, celebratory event aimed to contribute an explosion of fan content to the Sonic the Hedgehog community over a publishing period during which each team's creations are released.

What's special about Sonic Supernova?

Supernova takes inspiration from Big Bang events! Big Bangs are a popular and well-known format of fan-organised experiences. We wanted to make an event inspired by the Big Bang format but with aspects of it adjusted based on what fans like you and me would like to see in a collective fandom activity. Hence, instead of an explosion kick-starting the universe (Big Bang) we're naming our event after the explosion of a star that gives off light to a degree of a billion times more than our own sun (Supernova!).

For starters, we want Supernova to prize creators first in their humanity and their autonomy. Art is powerful. Stories are powerful. It can be as liberating, cathartic, relieving, and thought-provoking to read them as it is to create them, giving us the space to explore concepts and situations safely and at our own pace. So, to support a wider range of creative possibilities for our participants, Supernova will allow creators to make mature-rated content as an option for the event. Proper tools and moderation will ensure only adults who opted in will be able to submit and see mature works.

We also want to do team-ups differently for Supernova. In Big Bang events, artists and writers are typically teamed up via a blind match-up where artists select from a list of anonymised summaries of each writer's story. While this has its draws, our team is looking to implement different team-up methods where artists and writers get to be more aware of what project they're signing up for and who they're working with. The end goal is that participants are given the absolute best chance to be fully satisfied with the project and people they end up with for a creation period that will last a few months.

While it's still in its early days, we're also discussing features to make Supernova a memorable time for our participants, including making our own website for the event and offering exclusive digital art goodies for everyone who participates in it.

Above all, we at Supernova aim to put creators first. What we can say about the goals of Supernova—what we as organisers aim to accomplish—are the following commitments:

Bridging together creators in the Sonic fan community

Respecting the depth, diversity, and humanity of our creators

Upholding fans' autonomy to choose what content they wish to make and/or see

Organising the event in a transparent and considerate way

Ensuring creators' safety and no tolerance for harassment

Can I participate in Sonic Supernova?

Yes! Everyone will be able to participate in Supernova. All you need is a Discord account, an AO3 account if you're a writer, and a love for Sonic the Hedgehog!

As we're allowing fanworks with ratings ranging from general audiences to mature ones, we're working on a robust, thought-out system that supports creators' autonomy by ensuring people will only be able to see what they opted for. This will apply both for the Discord server hosting the event and the final, published works.

The event isn't restricted to visual artists and writers only. If you're passionate about making GIFs, graphics, music, animations, knitting, sculpting, or anything else, Supernova is more than open to you, too!

When will sign-ups open?

Unfortunately, we don't know just yet. We're still in the planning stages and we want to take the time to make sure we get things right, including getting community feedback on an interest check form so us organisers can make decisions with your wishes at heart. 

We'll provide more information as we get closer to milestones in our development stages (like when we open sign-ups for the event!) and fully welcome questions, comments, and feedback from other Sonic fans! Feel free to contact us at the following accounts:

@blurredblu

@franticmelody

@soft-anomaly

We hope to hear from you either in our inboxes, or through our sign-up form once it comes out!

On behalf of the Sonic Supernova organising team,

umi  

(a.k.a. blurredblu/shizuumi151)

[starhoppin]

pick a picture; how do you capture people's attention

pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3

disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.

「 pile one」

king of wands, the magician (cb: the moon), queen of cups

based on the court + major arcana cards, you have a very powerful aura/energy surrounding you. i'm hearing "naturally charismatic." you're the type of person that people turn to stare at when you walk into a room - all eyes are naturally drawn to you. people are attracted to your confidence; it makes you magnetic. you're self-assured and patient - others wonder how you're so successful. "you keep your cards close to your chest." you don't broadcast your desires to the world which helps you with your manifestations. you have strong boundaries, and there are parts of you that you keep hidden from the world - this draws people in since they're curious to learn more about you. you also have a healthy self-esteem which people admire. you're calm and collected - queen vibes. you draw people's attention because you're poised. i'm specifically getting the image of the queen in princess diaries (the one played by julie andrews). people look to you for guidance and strength.

[songs that may resonate] look what you made me do - taylor swift, la vie en rose - michael buble, wow - post malone

「 pile two」

the moon (cb: the hanged man, three of cups), nine of wands (cb: ace of cups), the emperor (cb: eight of cups)

you're mysterious to a lot of people. you draw attention due to your ability to adapt to any social situation. i'm hearing "enigma." at first, you may come off a bit guarded; however, when you're surrounded by friends and family, you're a lot more open. this paradox naturally draws people's attention. nonetheless, others view you as influential. you draw attention because you're the type of person who comes into someone's life and completely flips it upside down. even with a brief interaction, you have a way of changing people. you capture people's attention because of your connection to the divine. others can sense this about you. people feel like they can open up to you - you see them for who they truly are. you may often be used as a messenger for the divine. remember how i said that you have the ability to change people's lives? this is how. you have a gift of conveying what message a person needs to hear in the way it needs to be said. people are naturally drawn to you because of this gift. you capture people's attention because of your resiliency. you're not afraid to walk away from something that is no longer serving you. you know when to let go. you're independent. you don't tolerate or entertain low-vibrational people or situations.

[songs that may resonate] stories - paden, waiting games - trella, you were good to me - jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler.

「 pile three」

the world (cb: two of cups, four of cups), queen of cups, the empress

people are drawn to you because you have a good head on your shoulders. people think your independence is attractive. you may have a lot of suitors since you don't entertain just anyone; you're selective when it comes to romantic relationships. you're very discerning when it comes to people who approach you (romantic or otherwise) with negative intentions. you can spot them from a mile away. your aura/energy captures people's attention. you exude a calm and compassionate energy - you're approachable. others may even describe you as bubbly. i'm hearing the sound of laughter? like a really bright laugh that's infectious. so either you have a laugh like that or people tend to laugh a lot around you. where you go, happiness and abundance tend to follow which draws people's attention. with your energy and your intellect, you're naturally magnetic. i'm getting ethereal/royal vibes. "what you see is what you get." you're very transparent. you're not the type to be nice to someone's face and then talk behind their back, you're just genuinely nice. people may think that this comes easy, but you make a conscious effort to be this way. there's an air of humility surrounding you that people are drawn to. they know they can trust you.

[songs that may resonate] paper rings - taylor swift, i dare you - bea miller, i was in heaven - chelsea cutler

tarot deck used in this reading: cirque du tarot

[tunamayuuu]

suegiku doodles i managed to squeeze into my schedule

life update below the cut!

hello it has been! a while again! i still have my suegiku week entries in the backlog and they're been marinating at this point...

full transparency, i have been busy with changes in my living situation and school requirements that i have not found the time to even use my tablet to draw. not only that, but because of my packed schedule, i haven't visited my interests in a while which does impact my passion for it, including bsd! which was a surprise!

after all my owed art, week entries, and a good chunk of my asks for my old aus have been worked on and/or posted, i am considering taking an indefinite hiatus to prioritize my real life obligations

or continue my semi-hiatus status of posting every few months..

i actually have plenty of files in the backlog that i never got to post, and i would like input on how you guys would like me to post them: if i should post them all in the coming weeks, or by the end of the year as a proper backlog of unfinished projects

the most i can draw for now are sketches during lectures, which i feel like i shouldn't post as i initially wanted to up the quality of what i put out :(

sorry for the long update! i hope this can explain my inactivity in both accounts

[thesunshinebunny]

you could do headcanons about diasomnia discovering that your crush (fem reader) is two-faced and can deceive and manipulate anyone with her. Imagine the similar personality of Roxana Agriche.

Dude, not gonna lie, I had to do a little bit of research and homework to make this request. I'm not very familiar with manhwas, so this blew my mind. Hope u like it, and have a great afternoon :**

Malleus

Malleus would initially be deeply disillusioned. He has always valued transparency and sincerity, so discovering that the one he admired has been manipulating people would shake him to his core.

It would be a silent disappointment, he wouldn't get angry, or yell, or confront you in front of people. He would simply give you a sad look.

He might take some time alone at first, moving away from you, to have some time to think. His distant attitude might even become even more pronounced.

Even if it were hours, even days apart, Malleus wouldn't stop watching you from afar and following you, taking extreme care for you not to distinguish him in the crowd or in the distance. He wanted to witness your manipulative tactics if nothing in his speech had made you rethink…

Or if you were sincerely ashamed of your attitude. Whichever came first. And… well, it seems that was the first option.

He saw you, walking calmly and solemnly down the corridor outside the position class, approaching a student. You smiled at him, but not that tender and sweet smile you only gave to Malleus… no.

It was a persuasive smile, accompanied by firm and merely attractive body language. The soon-to-be king was watching from a distance your characteristic persuasion tactic, to have a jar of who knows what position for the class.

Despite his initial shock and disappointment, his fascination with you might lead him to try to understand your motivations. Pass your classes and exams at all costs.

He'd be conflicted between his respect for your intelligence and his disapproval of deceit.

Ultimately, he might approach the situation with a cautious respect, wary of being deceived again but unable to completely sever his feelings for you.

After all, he even likes to use his charming smile to mislead his opponents, and to get your sweet kisses to land on his.

Lilia

With his playful and mischievous nature, he might find the situation oddly amusing at first. C’mon, we’re talking about Lilia here. Did you really think he’d be disappointed either way?

Yeah, that would be a surprise… interesting.

He’d see parallels between your deceptive abilities and his own penchant for tricks and pranks. However, as he realizes the depth of your manipulation, he’d become more introspective, seeing it as a sign of deeper emotional wounds or desires.

Lilia might try to probe into your past and understand the reasons behind your dual nature, perhaps even using his own deceptive skills to draw out your true self.

He’d like to see your manipulation in action, in the front row if possible. And it wasn’t complicated and he didn’t have to wait long, to be honest. At lunchtime, sitting quietly in the dining room, you were strategically placed in front of a group of students who, coincidentally, owed you a couple of favors.

It was at that moment that Lilia fell in love with you for the second time. Watching you use a magnetic, almost magical charisma to gain the trust and sympathy of those students; watching you order them to bring the most exquisite food that the cafeteria could provide, without you or Lilia having to spend a single madol.

It's as if Lilia were seeing his old self, younger obviously and more rebellious.

His approach would be more about playful manipulation than outright confrontation. He would manifest as a mix of curiosity and amusement, as if he were intrigued by your emotional complexity.

Likewise, Lilia tends to find fascination in the unexpected. He would see your manipulative nature as a new enigma to decipher.

He would use his ability to play with words and persuasion to make you reflect anyway, a little, on your actions, with the aim of making you see the consequences of your behavior without imposing a change on you.

If there is any hint of regret in your being, good for you, and if not…we are in a school for villains after all. We have to spice up the atmosphere from time to time.

But, after so many years, after so many students and classes taken, after so many actions taken, good, bad, beautiful and Machiavellian…what is life without a little fun.

Silver

Now we are entering into some pretty dangerous territory, we can say that the least would be doubtful and conflictive.

Silver’s reaction would be one of confusion and hurt. His straightforward, honest demeanor means he struggles with deceit and manipulation.

Learning that you, someone he deeply cares for, have been deceiving people would lead to a period of emotional turmoil for him. He’d likely distance himself to process his feelings, feeling betrayed and uncertain about his own ability to trust.

Of a calm and reserved nature, Silver would experience an internal anger that would manifest itself in isolation and silence.

Like Malleus, he would not shout, nor get angry openly. Silver would process his feelings in solitude, try to pass the time and calm down, taking a nap, but the gravity of your actions, for him, were impossible to ignore with a nap.

He would have many doubts, about him, about your relationship. Would you have been honest with him from the beginning, or was he just another pawn in your game? Were your feelings genuine or were you looking for something in return?

Devastated was an understatement.

However, once he’s had time to reflect, he might come to realize that understanding and forgiveness are important, and he’d seek to reconcile with you if he believes your intentions weren’t wholly malicious.

Please tell him that your intentions, at least towards him, are not malicious. Our baby needs reassurance.

If your explanation is sincere and you really give him a convincing enough excuse, maybe…maybe Silver will open up once more and you can reconcile.

He might even ask Lilia for advice on how to deal with this new attitude of yours that reminds him so much of his fath…I mean, this bicolor goblin.

Sebek

Sebek’s reaction would be intense and dramatic. His unwavering loyalty to Malleus and his straightforward, sometimes brash personality means he would take the revelation of your duplicity as a personal affront.

His reaction… would be too explosive, like, a very explosive anger. He would feel personally betrayed. Let’s not even talk about his comments, if in everyday life he is very direct and impulsive, having a discussion of this caliber… ugh, good luck.

He’d be openly critical and confrontational, struggling to reconcile his admiration for you with his anger at your deception.

Sebek would likely demand answers and an explanation, and his reaction would be fueled by this mix of disappointment and betrayal.

He needed some time to cool down and keep his composure; days in which he spent observing your behavior, watching as his classmates bombarded you with information that you later used to shape classes in your favor.

Or how the existential drama of some Heartslabyul students served as fuel for your debates against Riddle every weekend… spoiler alert, you always ended up winning the love of those poor souls.

Your manipulation may not have been entirely malicious, but it wasn't something Sebek really approved of.

Over time, he might come to understand your perspective if you manage to earnestly explain your actions, though his initial reaction would be far from forgiving.

While his approach might be aggressive, his primary motivation would be to seek a resolution and make sure you understand the seriousness of your behavior.

PS: You didn't, but you learned to keep your levels of manipulation more camouflaged. A win-win

[l-in-the-light]

Through the Looking Glass, and What Luffy&Katakuri Found There (2/2)

Part 2 of my analysis of Luffy and Katakuri's similarities, done on request from @mewiyev. Part one is here, in case you're interested: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/763628387804856320 (you can read it in any order you want, but part 1 is meant to be the first chronologically).

To continue from where we left off, to understand Katakuri and his vow and what kind of a person he actually is, we need to do things in reverse. By starting with analyzing his talk with Brulee and his flashback.

Brulee removes the hat from Katakuri's face like it's not a big deal, despite what she just said. And of course she does, because she prefers him when he isn't hiding how he looks.

She seems genuinely more curious than disappointed. Also she came back here because she was worried about him, brought first aid with her as well.

Katakuri on the other hand finally says something he has been keeping a secret from everyone.

Seeing from his reaction, he also kept it a secret from Brulee as well. This is the first time he realizes she already knew. She's also so happy that he's sharing it with her, that *she* doesn't have to pretend not to know as well.

Brulee thinks Katakuri did it for all of them and she's very touched by that. We learn that Katakuri, long time ago, didn't care to make friends, he wouldn't put on appearances or get along with people who make fun of him. He just wanted to be himself, inside and outside, completely transparent. He would always beat up people who made fun of him too.

And then he learned actions come with consequences. "It was my fault it happened to Brulee".

And this is his resolve as the result of it. "I was too soft, too naive!". He decided to be perfect from now on, show no weakness. But let's stop here for a moment. Because how exactly "showing no weakness" or "being perfect" is gonna help prevent similar situations from happening? We can't really reach any conclusion here, unless we go back and ask the question Katakuri himself asked as well: "Why did they go after his sister?"

The answer to that is, surprisingly enough, revealed if we compare Katakuri's flashback to Luffy's. After all, just like accident with Brulee shaped Katakuri, the same way accident with Shanks losing his arm shaped Luffy. There's a clear parallel here so let's look deeper into it.

How did it happen in Luffy's case? Oh, right. Luffy was the one who started the fight with the bandits, because they were talking bad stuff about his friend (Shanks) and he stood up for him. Mountain bandits were just drinking, minding their own business and talking trash about the thing with Shanks that happened the other day. Luffy, who looked up to Shanks, but also just really loved him, couldn't just sit and ignore what he heard.

We're led to believe that the bullies "got revenge" on Brulee, but Katakuri is taken aback. That clearly never happened before. Let's look at what Brulee said after that "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. If you ask me, you're fine the way you are". No one asked anything about that, why did she say that? We should ask this question and draw a parallel to Luffy. What actually happened was probably Brulee overhearing the kids trashtalking her brother, she told them to take it back, said that Katakuri is fine the way he is and demanded that they apologize to him. Which the kids wouldn't do and some struggle happened, Brulee probably tried to force them to follow her, the situation escalated fast and someone took out a weapon and she got hurt.

She doesn't want Katakuri to know that she got hurt while defending her beloved brother. She didn't want him to worry or blame himself, because she knew Katakuri is actually a gentle kid. So she instead blamed it on the kids, Katakuri can get his revenge and everything will be fine, was probably her reasoning here. But she didn't realize Katakuri figured out the truth. He realized that his attitude of "I don't care what others say about me, I will just beat them up" was naive. That's because he thought it only concerns him. He didn't think it could also affect people he actually cares about. Not only because of the potential revenge, but them trying to defend him as well.

In world of One Piece (but often in our world as well), when you love someone you don't want to hear others say trash about them, you know you need to defend them, take their side. By doing that, you can often endanger yourself to violent situations like this. The only way to prevent this from happening is to reduce reasons for others to try picking fights with you, so people are too scared to badmouth you, and also eliminate all possible reasons why they would make fun of you (in Katakuri's case: covering his face serves that purpose. If they can't see his mouth or witness him eating, they can't laugh. And as the consequence no one needs to defend him and get hurt in the process!).

The same can be said for Luffy, btw. Luffy understands why Katakuri hides his face and what he's trying to protect by doing that. And he approves. Because Luffy is the same. When Shanks saved Luffy, Luffy also blamed himself, just like Katakuri did. Katakuri decided to hide his true nature as the result, from everyone. Never showing his weaknesses, vulnerability, not even his own emotions (enjoyment of eating, for example). Luffy also vowed to himself that he won't show weakness again, won't ask anyone for help, basically won't make the same mistake he did before.

Except it happened again and that wound is still quite fresh in Luffy's mind. In Dressrosa Law, Luffy's dear friend, almost lost an arm because of Luffy's actions. The result wasn't that drastic, because they could still restore Law's arm, but it defnitely gave Luffy quite a scare. Who knows what answer would Luffy reach if he didn't meet Katakuri? What kind of vow would he make to himself to make sure nothing like that ever happens again?

Maybe the very same vow Katakuri once made. "Show no weakness. Make them fear my perfection!" so that no one has to risk their wellbeing for Luffy ever again. Seems Luffy reached a different conclusion in the end and even convinced Katakuri that This Is Not The Way. Do what you have to do to make sure things don't become like that again, but don't close yourself up to the people who are actually dear to you. Everyone deserves a safe haven. First thing Katakuri did after the fight was to tell Brulee the truth (and probably only to her).

You can’t change the past, but you might learn something from it, says Alice from Through the Looking Glass.

The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible. Is another lesson Luffy relearned in WCI.

And Luffy rediscovered the old truth: there are some things he can't do (like cooking, navigation, fighting with swords etc.), but there is one thing he can do: beating up the biggest threats and fighting seriously. Luffy started the arc and went through it trying to do things in different ways than usually, but only realized that he still sucks at them and can't do them no matter how he tries. (I wrote more about that in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/762470814037819392, you don't have to read other posts in the series to read that one).

By the end of the arc Luffy accepts again that he has to rely on others. It feels like nothing really changed after Whole Cake Island, Luffy is still the old Luffy. But sometimes reaffirming who we are is as important as making big changes and decisions. Luffy faces a lot of anxieties about growing up in this arc, just like Alice from Through the Looking Glass does. Both of them start to understand the rules of the "adult" world, are confused by them and proceed blindly through as they learn by making mistakes. And both of them walk out of this experience without dramatically changing themselves. The change will come inevitably either way, no one can avoid growing up, all they can do is to watch it do it's thing in due time, while trying to stay themselves.

Nothing happened, but at the same time, so much happened. Not many are strong enough to keep on being themselves despite hitting the magical adulthood's treshold, right? We try to adjust ourselves to fit other people, like Katakuri did his whole life. He became a people pleaser, thinking that keeping appearances is more important than who he actually is. But he actually doesn't have to be perfect, he can allow himself to fall flat on his back, and it won't mean he broke his vow to protect his siblings. He will still hide his face though to prevent people who care for him from getting hurt for his sake. But he realized that he can prevent it without hiding himself from everyone. He will for sure no longer try to hide from Brulee. She's his new safe haven, where he can act openly like himself, he doesn't need to be perfect for her. I wonder if Luffy will eventually find his safe haven too? Because we all know not all Luffy's smiles are genuine, often he smiles just to make others stop worrying.

Let's go back to Brulee for a moment. She is kinda coded to be Katakuri's most important person, according to my own theory of pirates and their treasures. They both have matching marks on their faces, Katakuri has his mouth ripped from ear to ear, Brulee's scar literally rips her face in half. He hides his mark, Brulee wears hers proudly without trying to hide it, like she is fond of it. And of course she would be, if she earned it defending her most favourite brother in the world, right? One Piece Red shows us beautifully who is her most beloved person, when Nami lures her out of the mirror by saying "you will be stuck here forever if you won't help us, and you will never see your family again!" and Brulee appears, crying "Even my older brother Katakuri??" and upon getting affirmation Brulee decides to help them.

Actually, seeing Whole Cake Island through the lens of this theory significantly changes motivations of Brulee and Katakuri, so let's take a closer look, shall we?

The very moment it's revealed that Brulee was made into unwilling accomplice, Katakuri declares that "there's no way to stop things" anymore. He won't let it slide, after all. He can't let it slide, even. He's the perfect brother meant to protect everyone.

"I'm the victim here, brother!". Big Mom wouldn't care for that excuse. Many times through the arc other characters and Brulee herself mentioned that if Big Mom finds out, Brulee will end up dead. That's why Opera lied (which ended up working in Luffy's advantage too), to save himself from punishment. The said punishment is clearly hinted to be most likely death.

This puts Katakuri in a tough spot. He should punish Brulee or allow others to do it. What he does instead though, is keeping her close to himself at all times.

He takes her to the Sunny with him, he fights Luffy in the mirror world, and I think it's all because he wants to keep an eye so that no one tries to execute punishment on her. He's also making sure it looks like she's making amends for her blunder, which might or might not help. The bottom line here is: he's protecting her by bringing her with him everywhere.

Also that motivation he shares here? "Strawhat Luffy needs to be snuffed out now"? A big fat lie. You can see that Katakuri's eyes are shaded (in One Piece that often means that a character isn't completely honest!). His true motivation is getting revenge on Luffy for manhandling his sister. That's why he waits on Sunny for Luffy to arrive, that's why he tells others to retreat. This fight is personal for Katakuri, it's payback. Would he do the same for any other sibling? Maybe yes, maybe not, but I think Brulee is Katakuri's most beloved person in the world and he would do just about anything for her.

But, you might say, Katakuri cares for all the siblings, he's the perfect brother! Yes, he does. But that doesn't mean he can't have one special sibling he cares about the most, right?

Both Katakuri and Brulee care for their family a lot. Their care is reflected in each other like a mirror image.

And just look how fond he is of her. He's teasing her that she's just gonna sleep all day (is that something that actually happens often, because it sure sounds this way). She's kinda out of the loop here, but he doesn't even acknowledge this because he doesn't have to. He knows Brulee is one tough cookie. We also know that thanks to the flashback. And of course the person who would defend Katakuri like that would become His Most Favourite Person in the world.

Brulee is also always observing Katakuri in this fight. She's worried, but she won't assist him, she knows better than to interefere in his fights. And it's not because she is afraid of punishment or Katakuri disliking her. Oh, if his life was truly in danger, she would easily have done that, she has the guts. She doesn't act just because she doesn't want her brother to suffer the consequences. Let's look at things from her perspective. Once upon a time she defended her brother and got hurt as the result. That was the last time Katakuri showed his face, despite the fact that Brulee loved his face and told him as much. She probably reached conclusion that the change in him is Brulee's fault, she wanted well but caused him pain instead that he doesn't want to experience again. She doesn't want a repeat of that so she doesn't try to interfere anymore.

They both act this way. One is protecting the other by withholding and pretending. Brulee knows Katakuri didn't truly change, thanks to her devil fruit's ability she can peek at him anytime she wants, but she won't call him out on his lie and will play along. They both play the pretend game, which reminds me of polish novella "The Waistcoat", in which wife and husband keep on lying to each other to spare their beloved one pain and ligthen the burden.

"I will pretend to believe your lie and will play along with it, to help you and to keep your spirit up!", is what Brulee is truly doing here.

Also Brulee isn't so weak, and yet she fails to fight Luffy and his crew properly, mostly just trying to sabotage him indirectly. Why? Because he probably reminds her of Katakuri. In One Piece it's a reccuring theme, when one of the characters can't fight someone that reminds them of a dear person or some impostor pretending to be them. Brulee in that frame above almost sounds *worried* for Luffy or unusually interested in him (though she also just wanted to lure him out, not gonna deny that).

Katakuri changed his attitude in that fight after Luffy's return. He realized probably that Luffy would never harm Brulee and he might be grateful for that, and his initial anger for them misusing her kinda dissipated.

On the contrary, suddenly Katakuri seems like he's trying to teach Luffy how to fight, getting disappointed in him when he doesn't deliver. At first he wanted to defeat Luffy in fastest way possible:

It's clear Katakuri's motivation changed in the middle of this battle.

Till it finally reaches this point. What is actually going on inside Katakuri's head? At first, he wants to make up for the blunder of Brulee. He's monitoring the situation outside the mirror world closely. He knows that if they get the Strawhats, Brulee's blunder will get forgotten and he will deliver his revenge at the same time, just like he wanted.

After he realized that Luffy won't hurt Brulee, he decided for another way out of this situation. If they all lose to the Strawhats, Big Mom would have to punish all her children, which she won't do. So if Katakuri loses to Luffy, he will save his face and protect Brulee from punishment at the same time (her blunder wouldn't stand out anymore if they all lose!). That's why he takes the loss against Luffy despite being stronger than him. All of Luffy's last punches miss him while every single one of Katakuri's is landing. Katakuri easily accepts the limit of Luffy's current strength. That's also why he asks him to come again (once he's stronger, too), so they can have a rematch, without the "losing face" shanenigans coming in the way. He allows himself to voice his wish to fight someone strong, just because he wants to fight him in an even fight, not doing it for his family or for keeping appearances.

Just look at this. He's anticipating Luffy "doing the unthinkable". It's like he wants to see it, despite claiming he should probably eliminate him before that happens. In the middle of the fight, with his resentment gone, he started to kinda root for Luffy, he wants to see how far he can take his observation haki in such a short amount of time.

And Katakuri is actually a strategist, we can see that when he tries to manage the situation at the tea party/wedding. Trying to prevent the biggest disaster scenarios, telling his other brothers to assemble two squads to go after Bege and Strawhats while he himself goes to the final goal and waits, so their targets get surrounded from all sides. Even standing guard at the entrance to the tea party proves that he chose the most strategic position to avoid any bad things and twists happening:

He sales it as his haki's premonition, but he truly doesn't need that to know what this guy is planning. He knows Big Mom and her usual modus operandi (and we know it too thanks to explanation from Pekoms), anyone who refuses to attend the tea party (no matter the reasons) will receive a special "gift" - a severed head of someone close to them. Katakuri claims it's his haki at play here just to instill fear and so no one questions him. He strategizes his strong points for maximum impact, and it works fantastically well.

Brulee claims she won't forgive Luffy for hurting Katakuri, even though she knows already that Katakuri is very fond of him. Katakuri doesn't even answer, because what could he say? He did everything there for her and he's still not gonna admit that openly. Brulee doesn't need to see the future to guess Katakuri's reaction either, she knows him so well she doesn't even need that ability. That alone proves she's his favourite sister, imo.

Also, here's a thought. Katakuri might have also realized that Brulee was unusually fond of Strawhat Luffy through this arc, definitely going easy on him. Heh, indeed.

Fun food for thought: Luffy probably wanted to master observation haki just so nothing bad ever happens to someone dear to him on his watch, without him knowing. I bet you anything that's why Katakuri ended up mastering his observation haki too, so the tragedy never repeats again and so he would have a chance to prevent it if it ever does anyway.

This marks the end of my meta on Katakuri :) This one is sooo long. Whoever lasted to the end of it, I hope you enjoyed!

There's more Katakuri and less Luffy here, mostly because I already did the full analysis on Luffy in Whole Cake Island here: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/762470814037819392

[stokzr]

Another World (Part I) - Gale x F!Reader. NSFW

Gale x F!Reader | E | 1.5K

CW: sexual content, consent, romantic themes, nudity, emotional intensity.

Rating: Explicit 18+ - [Meant For Mature Audience]

Summary: As you quietly observed Gale during the night, immersed in his own thoughts, you remained unaware of his keen perception. Little did you know that he could sense your desires and emotions, unraveling the unspoken feelings that lingered in the air. What you truly failed to grasp was that he had intricate plans for you, woven into the fabric of the night, waiting for the right moment to reveal them.

Gale was admiring himself with his mirror image, while you admired him from the other side of the camp, dispersing your attention only when Shadowheart's soft voice became stronger.  

"Ah? Yes, yes, I was... Listening" you swallow, sighing as you avert your eyes from Gale, turning your attention to Shadowheart. 

"Your attention is elsewhere, I see. Who knew the wizard would draw that kind of attention to him." Shadowheart analyzes the situation, exchanging glances between you and Gale, who is now walking towards you. "That's my cue, good end of the night little dove."  

You can't help but blush at the comment made, how is it possible that you are so distracted and transparent that she could notice the way you looked at Gale. I mean, and she was able to realize, he... damn it. It is obvious that he noticed. 

"It seems that I scared Shadowheart away with my proximity, I regret interrupting the conversation. My apologies" He's pretty aware of the situation, as a smile forms on his lips, you look away, your eyebrows come together and your lips part in order to utter some words, but nothing comes out. It seems that all the words have disappeared from his mind, except for one. 

"Gale..." before you finish rationalizing a simple sentence, Gale holds your chin with her thumb and forefinger, returning your face to his view, so that your eyes could meet, even though the last thing you wanted right now was to have to face him. At least not with the heat that forms between his legs. 

"I know, my love. I'ts fine." He completes, almost like he knows exactly what you were thinking, your cheeks burn... 'My Love', he usually calls you that, but this time there is a tenderness never glimpsed before.  

"Wine?" You gesture with your glass close to him, your hands slightly shaking, as he gives a sneering, negated smile. 

"I would much ratter to drink something sweeter tonight." One of his hands remains on her cheese, while the other is positioned on her waist, pulling her gently closer. Despite the soft and gentle movement, the nervousness in his body presented itself with such intensity that it was impossible to continue holding that cup, as if his hands begged to touch somewhere else, something softer. And that's exactly what you do, your hand is directed to Gale's, removing it from your chin. 

"W-what do you mean?" You know exactly what he meant, you just want to, you need to hear confirmation. 

"I can do more than just tell you. Let me show you" You are guided by Gale, until you are taken to his tent, no one seems to have noticed as you moved, or at least, that's what you preferred to think. By this time his breathing was more labored, and his hands were still shaking. "You can stay calm, my love. I promise to do nothing more than you wish." 

"I wish you would show me what you were talking about." He smiles, softly. Guiding his hands as if drawing his body, squeezing his waist and moving it far enough away from him so he could bend down. Once he's on his knees, he looks up, that soft smile turns into a smirk, as soon as he pulls down his pants. You think about retreating but your body has been asking for it, begging for this moment since the day you visualized a kiss through the plot. Although at that moment his reaction didn't convey an air of certainty, you most definetly saw sincerity now. 

"Gale... please." Your hands caress his hair, but your eyes never turn anywhere other than those fulls of lust look coming from Gale.  

"As you wish." He says, his hands pull your thighs apart, allowing him to place numerous kisses on the inside of her thigh, before laying her down. He watches you as if you can't be real.  

Gale traces a trail of kisses until he reaches the entrance of your pussy, depositing a tender kiss, you feel your body shiver, impulsively you grab one of your hands to his arm, while the other holds one of the cushions next to the sleeping bag. Gale smiles victoriously, he knew your feelings... or, at least, that you felt some kind of attraction to him, even if it was purely sexual (it is not).  

"Can you tell me  If... If im going too f-" Before he can finish, you press his head against your hip, taking a deep breath when you feel your reaction has made him feel comfortable enough to push his tongue into you, separating your walls. "I-It's not fast... It’s perfect.” your voice comes out like a sigh, Gale had just begun but the effect he has on your body is indescribable. 

With this implicit and explicit permission, Gale starts to make gentle circular movements with his tongue, still at the entrance of your pussy, as he feels that you get wetter and wetter, he decides to go deeper. You feel how his tongue slowly enters you, penetrating like you've never felt before. You squeeze his arm, harder than before, letting out moans and grunts, trying to muffle that sound with your other hand, but Gale stops you, holding your wrist, seems like he has other plans. 

"Please let me hear you... Let me hear your sweet voice appreciate every single thing I’m gonna do with you." You can't deny a request like that, so you simply agree with a murmur, expecting him to understand what you meant, ceasing to control anything you've tried before, just allowing your body to feel everything Gale can provide you. 

Gale returns to what he was doing, as his hand releases your wrist, sliding down your belly until as it reaches your clitoris. He makes circular movements with his thumb, while his mouth continues to devour you. Deeper and deeper, faster and faster, you feel the heat of your body increase.  

"G-gale... Oh Gods... Please". You're practically unable to speak, your voice comes out low, like a whisper, but your moans on the other hand were sounding like songs to Gale's ear. He pulls his mouth away from your intimacy, which makes you hesitant for a moment, but he goes down one of his fingers to your pussy, penetrating it slowly, being able to feel how wet you were for him, how wet you were because of him.  

"You're so wet, I didn't even imagine I had such a influence on... you, in that sense." Gale says as he looks at you, you don't even notice his gaze, with his eyes closed, and hands squeezing any part of Gale's body that is nearby, almost as a plea for him not to stop.  

"In many ways... You do have in so many ways." Your dopamine was high enough that you didn't realize what you had just said. Gale also seems not to have gotten bothered, but it was something for him to think about it later, but for now he is too focused on the mess you are. He puts one more finger in, making your head rise, your eyes looking directly at him. "Kiss me." You practically command, and he obeys, raising his head to you, bringing his lips closer to his. You remain like this, millimeters apart, while his fingers thrust and circle inside you. You can feel like you're almost there.  

Gale kisses the corner of your lips, provocatively. You smile, but your desires were so great that you just pull him to seal the kiss. His tongue runs all over your mouth, and then you feel... something you haven't felt in a long time. His lips are soft, look like subtle magic, and you smile at the thought, pulling him closer to you. He reciprocates, deepening his fingers into you, as his thumb circles your clitoris. 

"Gale... I- I'm..." You murmur between the kiss, feeling your peak arrive. Gale softens the movements, stopping them slowly, until they are actually stopped, when he realizes that you have reached your limit. He smiles, lying next to you, pulling a slightly damp strand of your hair behind your ear.  

"You're quite a mess, uh?" You smile at his comment, stroking Gale's beard region as your breathing returns to normal. 

"That was... incredible." His voice comes out like a whisper, and he places another kiss on your lips, before you lay your head on his chest, he pulls your body softly closer, so that you fit together. 

"You're amazing, my love." Gale places a kiss on your head, stroking your hair. "But next time I want to take you to another place, if I can call the weave that way." That doesn't make much sense to you at first glance, but the excitement in Gale's voice is noticeable... 'It must be something good', you suppose. 

"You can take me wherever you want, as long as I'm with you." The words are uttered so quietly that he can barely hear, while your tired eyes close, you can hear one final thing “I fell for you”, seems like Gale’s voice, but you’re so tired that you believe it all came from your silly mind.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

English is NOT my first language, so I apologize for any mistake, and please feel free to correct me! :) and let me know what you think

[twstddream]

Prologue: Trapped in the book with Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas

It was just one of those nights. The branches of the tree outside tapping your window had lulled you into a disquieting state of mind. Grim had already long since fallen asleep, his paws occasionally smacking your face from his tossing and turning. You know what a night like this means. The sheets were wrangling you tighter and tighter in their grasp the more you twisted and rolled around. The room all at once alternated between being far too hot, scorching and searing your body from under the covers, to dropping to freezing temperatures; threatening to bathe you in unforgiving cold. It was too much. This is your punishment for staying awake. Dreaming was inevitable; your resolve would eventually break. And the cracks were starting to form.

As with any of these prophetic dreams of yours, it starts with a tug in your chest, like your very soul is being handled and hurtled across a space unconfined by the rules and logic that your world (well, your original world, anyway) follows and holds so dearly. Screaming queens, brooding lions, and silver-tongued merfolk have haunted your rest since your arrival in Twisted Wonderland. The parallels between these "historic" moments and the frenzying situations that your dear friends have endured have become a spectral guilt that haunts and befuddles you. When the next batch of dreams (and troubles) began, you opted to use these dreams as a means to tackle the next inevitable Overblot (the pattern was pretty easy to pick up on.) Plans of a coup, the poisoning of an innocent youth, and the crushing weight of grief-filled sabotage were far too great a problem for you to solve. However, a seeded feeling of rage blooms in your soul; you love your friends, old, new, and friends yet-to-be. But these struggles should never have escalated to this level, these kids should have never been made to suffer as they did. But a selfish, spiteful part of you claws its way to your throat, releasing itself as a strangled cry and harrowing thought of "But why do I have to deal with it?". You're not proud of these thoughts, but you can't fault yourself for having them. There are plenty of authority figures that could solve these larger-than-life problems, or at least prevent feelings bubbling over into concrete plans and motives. All of these possible avenues for help, and yet it's humble old you who is elected as the pointman; scouting out the (literal) charged fields of ardor and contempt for life that bleeds out as ink does from a busted quill. All of this is placed upon your crumbling shoulders, and yet you're not even allowed to dream in peace. The forceful draw of your soul slowly degrades into a weightless sensation, this indelible force delicately discarding your body and laying you parallel to the ground. What seems like water ripples below you; but you know better. The blots of ink closing in on your form and bleeding into the surface you lay on aren't the heavy force that water is. It's not nearly as sage or inspiriting. It ebbs and flows in a way that consumes all it touches, leaving nothing but a depthless emptiness that embitters all who tread near. And when the tide flows in, you're swallowed whole; pushed through the ground you thought to be a safe-haven.

 These glimpses of that past are hard to describe. It's like looking through a mirror, the surface ripples with ink as the scene changes before you, but you're also trapped. Akin to a mime trapped in their box, you're confined to these four walls, if you can even call them that; pressing your hand against these transparent walls results in a disgusting squelch, with thick gooey strings of ink connecting to your fingers and palm. A majority of it slips and splatters onto the ground (again, you're not sure what to call it) below. The texture is wet but not sticky, and of that you're thankful; you'd hate to have the frigid, thick substance cling to your hands for the remainder of the dream. Returning your attention to the scene playing before you, flashes of a decrepit town illuminated by an all-consuming moon floods your vision. Rustic lanterns line the cobblestone streets, seldom providing even a dim glow from the strange flames trapped inside. As what can be described as none other than monsters march into view and head towards what you can assume is the town plaza, tugging along a scarecrow sat atop a straw horse. From the equestrian throne the scarecrow does move, swiping an offered torch from an awestruck witch.  Brilliant flames engulf the living scarecrow, wherein an immaculately dressed… Skeleton emerges? Eh, not the strangest thing you've seen in these dreams. Time flashes forward as he slinks away from the adoring crowd vying for his attention. The apparent Mayor of this town accidentally comes to his rescue with the promise of awards for the swarming crowd. A very esteemed tradition, you suppose.

The surface to your right projects the image of this supposed king lamenting his woes; singing of his isolation among his town, the dull life this crown of his has brought him. Though, he doesn't seem to be as alone as he believes, as a yipping ghost of a dog nips at his heels, seeking to comfort its owner. A bonus to your omnipresent view of their world allows you to also spot a patchworked ragdoll watching from behind a, frankly, oversized tombstone. This Pumpkin King, Jack, you fathom a guess of his name, seems to be blind to what's in front of him. Though, that's not his fault, not at all. It seems his heart (does he even have one?) is guarded, tired of the infinite compliments and praise thrown his way. But not being noticed in the way he wishes. This ragdoll woman seems too afraid to reach out to him any farther than a simple comfort. These incredibly professional diagnoses of the situation seem far simpler than any other problem you've faced before. This Jack gentleman seems well-adjusted and- oh he just stole countless objects from the North Pole. Cool. How'd he even get there? And oh! He's studying Christmas, neat. Could've done without the theft, in your opinion. But he seems happy. Good for him.. And he just ordered the kidnapping of Santa Claus. Spectacular. Squinting your eyes shut, only one thought comes to mind 'Gods above can I please just solve the problems of a normal person for once?' And yet it seems you've angered the divine powers that be, for the box of mirrors and ink you've been trapped in for the past ten minutes starts to shake violently, throwing you off-kilter and forcing your forehead to slam into the glossy surface in front of you, shattering it upon impact. 

As with any of these prophetic dreams of yours, it ends with a hypnic jerk. But the fickle gods above were not finished with you. Because apparently the spiral hill surrounded by tombstones and the esoteric town crowded with citizens you can't even begin to describe wasn't enough. So fate bestowed upon you one last parting gift in the form of fervent devotion.

-------

The void around you is immediately illuminated by an ignited flame, your form is being cradled gently by a figure, the proximity providing a delicious warmth and a blooming sensation spouting from your chest. The soft brush of his gloved fingers trail up and down your arms as he leans in even closer to speak. His ashen-white hair tickles your cheek as he leans towards your ear, his ministrations halting, instead turning into a soft grip.

"Good evening, lovely. A kiss for this fine meeting."

His voice is boy-ish, yet oozing with the conviction and confidence of royalty. His lips purse themselves against the tip of your ear, giving you a gentle kiss. And in a flash he pulls his face away from yours, but still hovers over your frame. This stranger seems as open as a book, as his face pinches from a self-imposed question, his furrowed brow tightens above his sunglasses. It seems straightforward; he seems straightforward, but something lurks behind those round sunglasses of his, something that tells you to run. But it's those same spectacles that draw you in, surrendering yourself to his delicate hold. Soaking in this gentle affection can't be so bad, right? Basking in a hug this tender from a stranger couldn't possibly be wrong, could it?

 Rash. Foolhardy. Sympathetic. Those are the words you'd use to describe the hugs and holds you've received from the denizens of NRC. Affection to placate you, but mostly to soothe the giver. The hugs from your friends, your close friends, are few and far between. You can't fault them for shying away from showing affection, especially to someone considered just a friend by most. It's been so long since you've been held just for the sake of being held, cradled with a gentle care only because someone wishes to. And perhaps that slight romanticization of basic needs being met is what leads you to deflate in this complete strangers' grasp. What you'd do for some head scritches right about now…

His voice breaks the relaxed silence.

"Tell me, do you happen to know of Halloween?"

Of course you do. NRC loves Halloween. Your home-world loved Halloween. You love Halloween. Yet in spite of the truth, your body mechanically shakes its head into the man's chest.

His barely-there hold grows manic, he's desperate and clawing at you, digging his slender fingers and pointed nails into your shoulder. Your breath staggers as he draws blood through your shirt. The sound of tearing leather and sensation of blood dripping down his hand must be what snaps him out of this manic state. He slowly retracts his hands from you, making a show of his retreating bloodied gloves, conveying a silent promise. You find you miss the warmth.

"... You don't? Ah, we can't have that."

"Halloween means terror,"  he continues, skeletal gloved hands flying to cup his own cheeks.

"Halloween means admiration." With hands climbing down to grasp at his chest he gives a large smirk, allowing you a glimpse of his missing teeth. Cute.

"Halloween means nightmares." Once again he matches his words with a display; this time raising his hands high, and flexing his fingers, mimicking a clawed hand. His smirk somehow grew, his face squeezing to what must be uncomfortable lengths . Unclenching his fingers, he extends not just his arm, but his whole body towards you, beckoning you to take his outstretched hand. After a moment passes with no response from your end, his manic grin softens to something smaller, something affable. Though you wish you could see his eyes. His arm and hand stays invited to you, but the pressure to accept has lessened considerably.

"Until this night has run its course, I shall teach you…" the boy looks through you, beyond your corporeal form and gazes adoringly into the blackness behind you.

"This is Halloween." The words tumble from his lips, but he doesn't seem to notice that he's speaking at all.

"This too is Halloween.." Whatever has a hold on his mind takes over his body as well, as he broadens his arms outwards, palms facing upwards and shoulders held taut; the spitting image of a prophet.

"Yes, this is…" at once he advances towards you, catching you in his arms and holding you impossibly tight. His arms easily wrap around your neck, and he grips the opposite wrist with his hands, securing you further into his clutch. He pulls his arms and elbows in such a way that your neck must be craned up to feel comfortable. Just as he wanted; as his round sunglasses slid down his nose enough to reveal his eyes. The beautiful orange entranced your whole being, sparks flying and flickering in those eyes of his, reminding you of the concealed flames hidden inside a Jack O Lantern. The closeness of his face doesn't bother you, even as the tip of his nose pokes the bridge of yours, and even as the whisper of his breath dances on your lips.

"It must be…" Ever closer he leans, his rounded sunglasses fogging from the excited breath exhaled between you two.

"This is Halloween!" The blink of his eyes sends you tumbling backwards and downwards as the solid ground beneath the both of you dissipates. His grip on you loosened from the surprise, only able to barely graze your fingertips as you fell at an accelerated pace. That small touch however, felt like an eternity. A silent promise conveyed to see you again. You know he wants to meet again, the terror and worry in his eyes directed towards you says it all. With his eyes finally disclosed to you, he becomes as easy to read as a book.

Yes. You will meet again. This is Halloween, afterall. And Halloween promises horror. Halloween promises devotion. Halloween promises miracles.

Folding your hands and pressing them to your chest, you feel yourself being to smile. It's simply meant to be.

[stratocumulus-cloud]

Previous

Not so helpful 🐾

You sighed to yourself as you kept your body low in the mildly long grass. It doesn’t look like anyone is paying attention to you, all of them are paying attention to someone on top of the tree who keeps muttering lowly and is somewhat stuttering.

‘Ok, just quickly ask someone and leave. Do not draw any attention to yourself.’ You thought to yourself with a shaky sigh, hoping that none of these cats were aggressive.

You padded up to the closest cat you saw, a ginger bengal. The she-cat was intently focused on who was speaking on top of the giant tree. “Psst… excuse me…” you said nervously as you reached out with your paw to nudge her in the shoulder. She jolted, almost getting into a standing position. Your eyes slightly widened as you saw wings on her back that slightly lifted when she was startled.

Unluckily for you this action gained the attention of other cats around you…

“You there! It’s against the rules to interrupt when a leader is speaking!” You froze when you heard a loud yowl come from above.

Looking up, you saw 6 cats, their figures illuminated by the moonlight. Your ears pinned down as you saw their glaring eyes. They clearly didn’t like you being here.

To the left, was a Siamese with purple markings, he sat upright as they glared down at you. His cold expression expertly hid how they were really feeling. Next to him was a dark blue tom with bright yellow eyes. He clearly looked startled at my sudden appearance.

On the right branch was a small red tom with gray eyes. His claws were unsheathed while he looked down at you, as if judging your every mover. Next to him was a light gray (or maybe blue?) tom. They had the same expression as the Siamese but you could see a glimpse of amusement and interest in their eyes. Then there was a white tom with red markings around his eyes who looked the most interested and excited.

Lastly, there was a large brown tom lazing on the right lower branch. They looked bored, not caring about my sudden presence.

“How did a kittypet get here?” You heard one cat say before more questioning voices followed. Muttering and speculating on who you were. Looking around you could see other cats getting in defensive positions, looking at you with disgust, or with wariness.

“I-I’m just lost!” You quickly exclaimed, trying to explain yourself before this situation got out of control. “I woke up in a cave under you tree and-“

“A Kittypet was near the moonstone?!” You heard a cat loudly hiss before more voices joined, loudly voicing their disapproval and disbelieving.

“Quiet!” The Siamese yowled, silencing everyone. “We’ll deal with this. The deputies can take everyone else back to their clans.” The other cats on the tree muttered their agreements and ordered their deputies to take the cats from their clan home.

Soon everyone cleared out leaving just you and the leaders who were talking amongst themselves about how to carry on with this. Your ears pinned back as your tail lashed anxiously, wondering what they were going to do with you.

As they did so the hole in the middle of the tree began to softly glow, your eyes widened as you saw an almost transparent black cat with stars scattered across his pelt and large black feathered wings come out.

Next

[meimi-haneoka]

Report of CLAMP's Twitter Space - April 1st, 2024 (part concerning Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card)

As it was quite predictable, CLAMP sensei opened a Twitter Space on April 1st to celebrate this important and special day, which they consider their "birthday" as a creative group. ✨

It is also the birthday of quite a number of characters in their works, but it's hilarious they mentioned later in this Space how April 1st is actually only CCS!Sakura's and TRC!Sakura's birthday, as all the other characters have "ambiguous" situations going on. 😂 I'll delve into this part later.

You will find the full report under the cut, since the post became considerably long once again - it was inevitable since they kept bringing Sakura things up and the Space was almost 50 minutes long! 😅I also wanted to feature as many info as possible, and where I could, I wanted to translate their conversations directly rather than making a summary of it.

CLAMP celebrated April 1st going to a beloved cafè in Kyoto (they later revealed in their IG stories it's called Mont and there's always a cute dog there), spending some nice relaxing time drinking something all four together. That's when they got the idea to open a Space to celebrate with their fans too. CLAMP reiterated several times during the Space how grateful they are for being able to do a creative job like this, even after 35 years. A job none of them really imagined when they were little, as "to become a mangaka" wasn't a specific dream any of them really had.

And then, Ohkawa introduced the part of the Space where they talked about CCS Clear Card, starting by the mention of the release of volume 16 (which happened precisely on April 1st)!

Ohkawa: A serialization that lasted 7 years and a half, isn't it? Mokona: So long, right? Ohkawa: Yeah, quite long! Satsuki: Elementary schoolers have already graduated by now. Ohkawa: Yeah, the readers who were in the first year when the serialization started have graduated elementary school long ago. We had decided that Sakura would start middle school when Clear Card Arc began, and readers of her same age reached adulthood by now. Satsuki & Mokona: Ah, it's true! Ohkawa: They've stayed with us for long time, right? And now the final volume is out. *they all applaude* Mokona: It's quite a happy end, isn't it? Ohkawa: Uh? Mokona: a happy, happy, happy end. 🥰 Ohkawa: 😨...you mean, an APPEALING end, right? (Nekoi echoing her: right?) (note: happy and appealing start with the same pronounce in Japanese) Nekoi: 😅(to Mokona) What are you talking about? Ohkawa: What do you mean, Mokona? 🙃 *Mokona laughs nervously* Nekoi: Is that your headcanon or something? Ohkawa: Is this okay to say? Nekoi: Or rather, is this your conspiracy? 😂

Of course they all joked like this because they wanted to avoid spoiling how the story ended 😂 Ohkawa thanked all the readers for sticking with this story for such a long time. Long time after Sakura Card Arc, when the right opportunity came, they were able to draw this "Clear Card Arc". In that regard, Ohkawa mused that she can't even recall why the previous arc is called "Sakura Card Arc", despite no one actually calls those cards as "Sakura Cards" in the story itself (she said the characters do call them "Sakura's Cards", but not "Sakura Cards"), and Mokona seemed to agree with her, but here sensei was simply forgetting that it was Tomoyo herself the one who named them that way in volume 7 😅(in the beginning she wanted to call them "Sakura-chan Cards", then she settled for "Sakura Cards"....unforgettable Sakura's comment: "It sounds like the name of a credit card..." 😂) It was long ago, we can forgive them. 😉And they made sure to repeat the same thing with Clear Card Arc, since in this story NO ONE ever calls those as "Clear Cards" but actually just "transparent cards" or "new cards". 😂

Ohkawa added that middle schooler Sakura grew up a bit more in the last part of the story, and people who have already read the last chapter can understand what she means by that. She also said that she'd like to leave a more in-depth talk for another time, when they get the right opportunity, but the biggest reason why they decided to open this Space was to talk about unknown "behind the scenes" trivia that the fans could ask about using the hashtag of "CLAMP day" and those of the campaigns organized by Kodansha (in particular, the one to win the big A4 size clear bookmark). She also said that she wanted to give this opportunity to Satsuki and Nekoi to say something about Clear Card since the last time they all talked together, they didn't get the chance. Ohkawa also brought up the last CLAMP Kanbukai podcast, where she talked about the trivia of Fujitaka's iron kettle and that shocked both her colleagues, cause they didn't know about that detail! 😆

Ohkawa: The story I'm about to tell you is something me and Mokona know very well, since there's a precise reason behind this trivia. In Clear Card Arc there's a "key character" called Akiho. Akiho's last name is "Shinomoto" and that was decided ever since the very beginning, but her first name was originally Sairi! Her full name was Sairi Shinomoto. Mokona: It gives off a different vibe, right? Ohkawa: Indeed. I had already decided the kanji for it and all, but at some point, before we even started to draw chapter 1, whenever I talked to Mokona...(to Mokona) please explain what happened. Mokona: Whenever I tried to write the hiragana for あいお (aio) in our conversations on Line, the autocorrect on my phone would change it to 秋穂 (Akiho). (Note: another reading of the kanji in Akiho's name is indeed Ai'o) Whenever I tried to write those hiragana characters, the autocorrect would change it to akiho once the message got sent, and I was like "what's that akiho?? I didn't want to write that". I couldn't understand, because it's not like I had ever used that word with other people (note: she means the autocorrect didn't learn it from other conversations). Ohkawa: The first 2-3 times it happened I was just perplexed, but then as this "akiho, akiho, akiho" kept happening every time, I just asked her "Mokona, are you doing this on purpose??" and she was like "no, not at all!" 😂 She told me "Look what (the phone) converts this into!", but when we tried to do the same on our phones, it didn't come out to any of us! Mokona: But I did show it to you, right? That it came out like that to me. Ohkawa: Yeah, you did! I found it strange cause she said she doesn't even have any friend who's called Akiho-chan, she even tried to recall if there was a character of any series that's called like that... Mokona: Right, but I didn't know any! 😅 Ohkawa: So we started to think about it...Akiho seemed like a really cute name, it combines the characters of "autumn" (秋) with the ear of rice (穂), we pondered about it for 0.02 seconds and then I said "Let's use 'Akiho' for her name". And that's how she became Akiho Shinomoto. Satsuki: You thought that the ear of rice was a nice "opposite pole" to Sakura's spring. Nekoi: What were Sairi-chan's kanji? Ohkawa: Well, it doesn't really matter now but initially, I had designed for her name to bear a kanji only for the "ri" part, and leave the "Sai" part in hiragana. In CCSakura all the characters have their name either in hiragana or kanji, and there isn't any character who's got a name that mixes both. So I thought to do that for her. Ohkawa: Speaking of Sairi-chan, it's a good moment to mention that there's this morning drama show on NHK starting right today, called "Tiger with Wings" where Sairi Ito is starring. I really love her as an actress and I think Sairi is a really cute name, so I had decided for Akiho's name to originally be Sairi, just like hers. It's not like I created the "Akiho" character in Sairi Ito's image, but I just thought that Sairi was a really good name and there was a time when I thought that it would be better for her to have a name closer to Sakura's one, so I had initially decided for that one. But thanks to Mokona's fated intervention, she became Akiho.

Many fans who were listening started to try to type "aio" on their phones and uploaded the screenshots of how their autocorrect would suggest "Akiho" as a conversion! Ohkawa and Mokona looked at the screenshots and commented that the same result can be obtained both on an iOS phone and on a Mac computer. Mokona felt relieved that it wasn't just happening to her! 😆 Ohkawa: It might be that Mokona-san unilaterally changed her name for us, but...😆 Mokona: it's not like I was scheming for it or anything! 😆 A fan also brought up the fact that in the prefecture of Yamaguchi there's an onsen facility called "Aio Onsen" written with the same kanji of Akiho's name, and CLAMP were quite surprised to find that out.

Ohkawa: If you look at the story you'll know what I'm talking about, but in the finale Akiho reveals her true name as a 'final move', and I did think in the past that the spoiler about her true name would show through the fact that we gave her an autumnal name, but Mokona writing that 'Akiho' all those times was just so guided by fate, to the point it shocked us. And it came from writing something trivial like "Yo!" (note: Mokona wrote "ai" as a colloquial way to say "yo", "hi!") 😆 Mokona: It seems like it's quite an unusual name but don't worry, it's not like I was scheming for it! 😅

Then, Ohkawa asked Nekoi and Satsuki if there was a particular scene or part of the story they liked or if they had a fun episode to tell about...while she was waiting for their answers, she said they received lots of praises for the cover of volume 16, with many comments saying how beautiful it is, and for them it's already enough if people can even just look at the cover on the internet.

Ohkawa: By the way, you said the tone used for Kaito-san after his eyes changed was quite bothersome to you, right? Nekoi: Yeah, because I kept forgetting it! Satsuki: I wonder if people will notice...his eyes are so tiny, right? Ohkawa: Were his eyes huge, before? Satsuki: No, I mean, when turned into a tankobon his eyes look so tiny... Ohkawa: Ah, I see, I see. Nekoi: it's because we're used to see it on a screen. Ohkawa: Lots of stuff happened to Kaito-san in volume 15, and....lots of stuff happened to his eyes too, as a result. Because of that, we added a tone finish to his eyes, and it would make me happy if people noticed it. Mokona: There's quite a non-human feel to his eyes, now. Ohkawa: Indeed, indeed.

Ohkawa then asked Satsuki for her own tidbit about Clear Card, and she mentioned a color spread she really liked was the one of chapter 55, with Sakura and Akiho seemingly springing out of water, each on a side of the spread. Satsuki commented it's "a pose quite common in our artworks". Ohkawa recognized it and said the spread was actually two pieces drawn separately (as it's quite deducible by how the spread is composed). Satsuki added that in general all the art of the last volume is quite cute.

Ohkawa: What about you, Mokona? Mokona: As for me.... As you know, right in the middle of the play written by Naoko-chan, they end up in the world of the book. Well, it's not like they really go to another world. When we reach the part of Syaoran's action, both Sakura's POV and Syaoran's POV progress simultaneously...and I think if this were a video, there would be a way to portray it smoothly, but when we were working on it, Nanase told me "I want you to find a way to portray it that is fitting for a manga". So when I've got down to draw the storyboard, I've arranged the panels in a way that was quite understandable to me, but I started to have doubts whether people would be able to get easily what was going on...💦 I could understand it completely because I knew the story, but what about somebody who was seeing it for the first time...? Would it be okay...? I was quite worried about that. Ohkawa: Ooh, I see. I think somehow they were able to understand it.

After this, Ohkawa mentioned Motoko Kumai (Syaoran's, Sumomo, Nataku's VA)'s quote-retweet of their announcement of the Space, where she wished them a happy CLAMP day and said all of the meetings with those characters are a treasure to her. She added "Thank you for pouring your heart in everything you do". It was very funny to hear Ohkawa say "I wasn't the right person to read this, I get embarrassed with these praises! 😳But no, really, thank you very much." ✨

Ohkawa then said "We've been told by Kodansha that they've never had a single manga that continued for two volumes after the end was announced...well, this is our volume 16 that was extended twice 😁"

Ohkawa: I say this every single time, but in my heart, this was the story where Sakura-chan acted as a proper main character, till the very end. I think this is the story Sakura painted for herself, following her own feelings. Sorry, but this is how I feel. Of course I think it's possible to not see it this way and you're absolutely entitled to it, but we think our Sakura-chan really did her best. Mokona: She truly did. Ohkawa: Also, we got lots of comments saying that Touya used too many cheats 😆But I would like to remind everyone that Touya was a "cheater" since long time ago. Mokona: Despite not appearing often, we stacked on him many strong points. Ohkawa: He was really a cheater all along. (note: of course here with "cheater" they're meaning his abilities that allow him to do unexpected and powerful things in the plot, in order to help Sakura at the most convenient moment) I'm talking about Clow Card Arc right now (note: this is a part concerning Sakura Card Arc, actually), but to have a magical power that allows you to transfer all of it to a magical being created by Clow is already a cheat to begin with. Satsuki: he can also see (non-living beings). Ohkawa: Sakura-chan was refusing to do so, but she's also someone who can see them.

While looking at the hashtags, I can't understand if this was Nekoi's personal comment or the comment of a fan, but she said "It's good that it wasn't Touya the one finding the Cards", mocking the way he would've said the incantation to capture the Cards, and Ohkawa replied "Well, he would probably be 'Cardcaptor Touya' now. But he was an high schooler! Feels a bit off..." and Nekoi along with Satsuki mused even more on the possibility of him having a transformation scene like shoujo heroines or if he would just go capturing cards in his school uniform 😂 Mokona: I don't really think Tomoyo would put that much effort in creating costumes for anyone other than Sakura-chan 😂 Ohkawa: Yeah, Tomoyo wouldn't make a costume for him. Therefore, despite it would be quite troublesome because I don't really think Yukito is particularly skilled in sewing, what I can think of is that he would make for him some kind of awkward outfits that don't even look like cosplay costumes. Satsuki: He'll make them by himself. Ohkawa: Well, it's not like Touya would make them... Nekoi & Mokona: There's no reason for him to do it, after all. Ohkawa: He wouldn't be doing this with a serious spirit. Nekoi: So he wouldn't feel a particular reason to change clothes. Mokona: What if he wants to hide his face? What do you think? Ohkawa: Ah, you mean a mask? Nekoi: Well, it's not like Sakura-chan herself had ever any eyewitnesses, after all... Nekoi: He gives me the vibe of someone who would go and capture cards swiftly like he just dropped an item...and hey ho! It would end immediately like a yonkoma (note: four panel manga)! Mokona: He might just pay attention to not get his school uniform dirty. Ohkawa: Then, if Sakura was in Touya's place, she would just go like "Oh, I think I've heard a noise" Satsuki: "There's some rustling" Ohkawa: But I don't think Touya would try so desperately to hide it from her, like she did with him! 😁

Then, Ohkawa tried to bring the topic back to the theme of the day, Clear Card and the release of volume 16.

Ohkawa: it was the first time we happened to draw again for one of our series after almost 20 years. Of course there's been a change in the design, it was impossible for us to keep it the same. I'd be happy if you could enjoy nonetheless. Moreover, at the end of the story, the front and the back of all the Cards changed. We were able to show the back of the Cards when the special chapter was published on Nakayoshi, after the story was over, but as for the front of the Cards themselves, we have just shown a peek. Mokona: Right, and just a few of them. Ohkawa: Truth to be told, we have modified all of the Cards in their manga version. (to Mokona) It was hard, right? Mokona: Yes. Ohkawa: Mokona has rewritten all of their names, too. Because the design is different. Mokona: Yeah. I had colored them too. I thought I would die. Ohkawa: Nekoi and Satsuki worked really hard on them too. Despite that, the truth is we have no opportunity to show the new designs of all the Cards in their manga version! Mokona: It would be good if we could show somewhere the colored version of even just one Card... Nekoi: Since we worked so hard...

Many people in the "CLAMP Day" hashtag suggested for them to show them at the CLAMP exhibition of this summer. Then, back on the topic of volume 16:

Ohkawa: I know there might be people who won't think in that way about volume 16, and everything we're talking about might be a spoiler for others, but I personally think that both Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun matured little by little during this last volume, and I'd be happy for you to see it. Eriol ended up being that kind of character, as usual... (note: she impersonated him saying something, but unfortunately I can't really understand that line) Mokona: Beside him, the "camera" of the story focused properly on all the other characters, including the Kinomoto family. Ohkawa: This is something I wanted to do since long time ago, but...Fujitaka himself didn't have any powers, and although he didn't understand very well what was going on, he trusted Sakura-chan and in the end told her something like "I knew you were going out of the house at night!" 😁 I'm really glad we could draw that scene for him. I've always wanted to portray at least once what the characters of the "parents generation" did inside the story, it's not like Fujitaka-san was spacing out in a corner oblivious to everything...and I'm glad I could portray that in the story. Satsuki: He's collected lots of suspicious books too, right? Ohkawa: Yes. There's something I asked my three colleagues to depict long time ago, and it's connected to what happens in the end. Akiho-chan in the end says something like "I want to aim for a job like this in the future!", but not only that, she also looks for rare books while travelling to many countries around the world. The first time I wanted to portray what kind of rare books she would be collecting was in a scene of long time ago, when the girls visit Fujitaka's library. I asked to please put an homage to Cthulhu over there. Mokona: It's true! Please look for it! If I remember correctly, they were some kind of grimoires that appear in the Cthulhu mythos. We have included them clearly so please everyone, have fun looking for them! Ohkawa: We have intended all of those as homages, so I'd be happy if you could look at them. (note: the chapter they're talking about is the 26th one)

Mokona: It looks like something terrible is going to come out at any moment from a corner of Dad's library....💦 Ohkawa: Yeah. But Fujitaka is like "any kind of book is welcome here!", even with books like those ones. Ohkawa: And then, there's the matter of the chocomint. There have been questions like "why do you keep bringing chocomint up?" before. Among CLAMP, the ones liking chocomint are Nekoi and Satsuki. Mokona, what about you? Mokona: I've recently started to be able to eat the chocomint ice cream from Häagen-Dazs. Ohkawa: You didn't really like it before, right? Mokona: Yes. People from the "chocomint side" will probably think it's pretty mild tasting, but...😅 Ohkawa: As for me, I can't really eat it. 😅But I feel like when a person you love eats it so eagerly, you can't help but wanting to try it too. That's the reason why we employed chocomint in the story. Maybe people who like chocomint will disagree with me, but to me it's quite a divisive kind of food, you either love it or hate it. Mokona: Its color is so overwhelmingly cute too. I always end up wishing to eat it. Ohkawa: Are you like "ugh! This was a mistake" or "well this is quite good" when you actually try it? Mokona: If I do my best, I can eat it till the end. Ohkawa: Well, we have Lilie, an older character appearing in the story, whose person she fell in love with started to like chocomint precisely because she likes it too. That's something that can happen too, right? Mokona: Indeed. For Syaoran it was the same. Ohkawa: Uhm, right, didn't Syaoran dislike it? Nekoi: Yes, but when he tried it he actually started to like it. Mokona: He could eat it because it was something Sakura made for him! Ohkawa: Isn't that amazing? Mokona: It is 🥰

After this, CLAMP started to read some messages from the fans, and also mentioned that the word "Sakura-chan" ended up trending on Twitter. Ohkawa: We have realized it today for the first time, but among our characters, Sakura-chan is the only one whose birthday is TRULY on April 1st! Satsuki: The double Sakura-chan, right? Ohkawa: Right. First of all, I'm not sure we can consider as a 'birth day' what happened to the existence of xxxHolic's Watanuki. Then we have the birthday of Tsubasa's Syaoran, which was decided deliberately by princess Sakura, so even in his case it's ambiguous. Another one is Seishirou from Tokyo Babylon, and in his case the birthday is a lie. So that leaves us basically with just Cardcaptor Sakura's Sakura and Tsubasa's Sakura as the only characters who are truly born on April 1st? Mokona: In the case of Sakura from Tsubasa, I wonder if we should consider her calendar the same as ours. Ohkawa: Ah, right!! Because she lives in another country, right? Mokona: And another world too.

After reading some more messages, Ohkawa said that she's very happy even just with fans of the old Clow Card and Sakura Card Arc loving the new arc too, but what makes her the happiest is to know there are people who have discovered the CCSakura series thanks to Clear Card Arc, and will keep treasuring it from now on. They also mused over the fact that they've been in activity as authors for more than half their lives and the time they've spent working together is far longer than the time they've lived at their parent's home. All four of them are extremely grateful for being able to do this artistic job as a creative group for such a long time.

Taking the opportunity of a fan mentioning the CLAMP Exhibition in July, Ohkawa gave a warm suggestion to try to visit the exhibition if possible, because judging by the current condition of their original artworks and the difficulties they're having moving them around, they don't think there is going to be another opportunity to do this again in the future. 💦

Then, a fan sent them a particular question: "Do you have plans for another arc of Sakura and Syaoran from CCS? Maybe about their wedding?" Ohkawa: Hum, in my idea it'd be best for everyone to imagine Sakura and Syaoran's wedding in their own hearts, but if there's the possibility of a continuation after the events of the last volume, we will certainly let you know.

The person asked about an xxxHolic continuation too, which of course Ohkawa re-confirmed (they're currently preparing everything to resume the serialization) and asked us to wait just a bit more for the announcement from the editorial team of Young Magazine!

After some more messages from the fans, CLAMP gave their final greetings on such an important day!

Nekoi: We only have you to thank for reaching this anniversary on this day. Thank you very much. (they all clap their hands) There will be lots of things to enjoy ahead, and I invite all of you to gaze at the pink color of Tokyo Tower. Ohkawa: It seems we'll be able to watch it from Youtube too, so please don't miss the chance. Satsuki: I want to thank everyone for your support. Just as Nekoi mentioned, we have plans for more things ahead, there's the return of xxxHolic too, and...I wonder if there'll be a new work too? Ohkawa: (laughs) Well, more than anything, there's the Clear Card anime adaptation too. I think it will take some more time but surely, without fail, the announcement from Kodansha will come, so please stay tuned. Mokona: This one volume marks the end of Sakura's story. (note: the term Mokona uses, 区切り, seems to not be a "definitive end", but rather seems to be indicating more a point of "break", a "delimitation", a "place to stop"; there's still a marked sense of "end" - whether it's just to an arc or the entire story is not clear, so I chose that translation but I wanted to point out the other nuances in the term). I am extremely grateful to everyone who watched over Sakura-chan's growth and even those who grew up along with her! We look forward to your continued support. Also, I would like to add something that is probably a bit off topic, but there are also some anime projects we have created character designs for. Ohkawa: Oh, right, of course!! That's very important. Mokona, I knew I could count on you, thanks for reminding me. Netflix announced the "The Grimm Variations" series, then Code Geass, which we've been making character designs for long time, will have a new series: "Rozé of the Recapture". Moreover, the new season of the Vanguard D anime series was announced too. Please watch those too. 🙏 And then, as a leader, this is my turn for the final greetings. I truly feel like you've been watching over us in many, many ways for the past 35 years. Whether you've liked us before and now you're taking your distance from us, or on the contrary you weren't interested in us before but now you're following us, please know all of you are still very precious to me. If you stopped reading our works, it's all right. I hope we can be reunited with you again one day through another work that you'd feel like you want to read. For the moment, I would like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all of your efforts, your strength and lots of energy that allowed us to carry Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc to the final act. I'm sure Tokyo Tower will shine with a bright pink color tonight! Please make sure to listen to our podcasts, and to other Spaces we'll open when we can. Thank you very much! ✨🙏

[sparkanonymous]

Let's get one thing out of the way; I messed up.

If you want to go more in-depth, read this post. If you don't want to, here's the jist of the situation: For the last year - I think - I have been coloring Raj's skin tone lighter. This is completely and utterly my fault.

I'm not going to make any excuses, in fear that it will give others an excuse for their own deplorable actions. Though I don't see myself as a racist person, this is still an example of colorism, and I can't stand by it.

Total Drama is something I hold dear in my heart, and Raj is one of my favorite characters in the entire series. The fact I did him this dirty makes me never want to draw him again.

I'm so sorry. All I can do is apologize, and that's definitely not good enough. I will do better in the future. I don't want anything like this to happen again, and I won't let it happen again.

There is nothing I can say that'll fix this situation. I have disappointed myself and hurt an entire community of people. I hope I can eventually make up for my mistakes, but I know that isn't possible in a short amount of time.

I don't expect this to be taken lightly; it shouldn't be. If this is the last I see of some of you, I hope you take care.

The rest of this post directly responds to parts of thesicklycowboy's post.

○■○■○

For this portion, I have also edited Raj's hair to be the correct color. (I didn't know where else to put this part, sorry.)

I won't be responding to everything, as I do think the post was well-spoken and something that certainly needs to be said, just parts that I felt I should respond to.

Blue is for them, and red is for me.

"So when you were addressing this and saying "it's color theory" excuse why did you not show your earlier pieces of Raj as well? The ones with far darker hair and deeper skin tones? You only referenced all the ones after after the lightening had begun."

As mentioned before, I don't know when the lightening began. The pieces I grabbed for comparisons were the ones that I could actively get the flats for. A lot of my previous pieces have been deleted from my iPad after being moved to my laptop for storage reasons. While you can tell that Raj is darker in my oldest TDI posts, I wouldn't have been able to color grab the original skin color to compare it to the others, which is why I added ones that I could find the flats of directly off of my page. I do wish I had gotten the flats for the oldest ones, but I can't really do anything about that now.

"The beginning of your ask responses is blatantly false and you contradict yourself at the end? So why keep that whole schpiel at all?"

Here is the part that they are referring to: "I didn't? I think he just looks lighter because of the filters I used on top of it."

I left this in for transparency because I genuinely thought that that was actually the case. But it wasn't. This is why I added, "Looking into the color issue..." I wanted to double check the claim because it very well could have been an issue. And it was.

... "And not yet another piece that is still super light."

Okay. I think I might know what the problem is here in particular. I add texture overlays (the layers with the filter of 'Sl' - Soft Light) to give my pieces... y'know, texture. The layer color I use is usually an off-white. I do this in all of my pieces because I thought it might help with keeping my work safe from AI, and because I like the paper-like look that it gives my art. I didn't put it over the entire piece because the background already has a ton of texture.

The one above is at 50%, and the one below it is at 30% for both Raj and Bowie.

Here is the same piece with the texture overlays turned off:

(Left is w/o the overlays, Right is w/ the overlays)

I don't want this argument to seem like I'm lessening my actions. This is the only thing that I think I have the right to stand up for. Texture is something I most likely won't take out of my work, though I may replace the texture overlays with something that is more full proof against AI, like those AI-disturbance layers that Ibis Paint has.

None of my actions were excusable, but I felt this needed to be explained.

Other than that, though, I don't know what else I could possibly do to fix the piece, considering I have fixed Raj's skin tone in this piece.

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The rest of the post is not something I feel the need to respond directly to. I do think you should go and read the original post criticizing me and decide what you want to do in this matter.

This was not a "silly mistake." What I have done is genuinely messed up. I'm not going to run from this situation and say that I was ever justified in my actions. Because I never was.

I can only hope to be given the chance to amend this situation with future works, whenever that might be. I will most likely not continue to talk about this unless asked to. Idk what else I could possibly say that wouldn't make this situation worse. I am the guilty party, and the only thing I can do is learn from this and do better in the future, which I will.

Again, I am so sorry. I have fucked up, and I am prepared to take the consquences of my actions.

[twstedpometea]

1 year later: Ugigiugi review and thoughts

Hello Everyone.

It's finally been a year since the PDF was released. I decided to do a retrospective post on Ugigiugi, the history of her tracing, and share my personal thoughts now that some time has passed.

Feel free to read below!

First off, I wanted to publicly address the fact that I noticed the new "findings" in the tag. I have collected those for annotations.

As I've stated before in one of my older posts, this whole situation was the first time I'd seen or dealt with a serial tracer like Ugigiugi. Counting her last post day, she had been tracing for 5 years. Given all these things, I decided to reflect a bit on the Ugigiugi situation and things are a year later.

At that time it appeared that Ugigiugi was mostly a tracer/self-insert Mary-sue type of artist. Given her lack of crediting and stealing from others, it was pretty apparent that she was a lazy and passionless person masquerading as an artist and had zero shame in taking the efforts from others for herself.

While there is still plenty of art that has yet to be sourced, it can kinda assumed if Ugigiugi saw it, she stole it, regardless of the source. This is pretty evident when you look at the located sources which spanned from small-time fan artists and to published works, including online media or comics she's read in her own time. And let's not forget the audacity of her tracing over other people's original characters, and comics, or stealing from lgbtq+ ships.

Pharaoh’s Concubine by Misha/Youshi

Ennead by Mojito

Now, generally, it's alright to feel "inspired" by other people's fan art/comics/stories/etc. That's normal. And I certainly can't police what people will end up liking in their media.

But blatantly stealing others shows no passion and demonstrates you have very little respect for your fellow art peers. As I've said in my previous post on Tracing/Copying/Referencing while tracing is one way to "learn" how to draw art, it is not something you should heavily rely on as it can quickly become a crutch. If you're not pulling any useful information from it and just trace without a second thought, you will become dependent on it for everything and never truly learn how to draw without that crutch.

Every artist needs to study the fundamentals to learn how to break the rules. Every artist needs to learn how to use resources properly, be transparent if they borrow from others, and give credit where credit is due. Every artist has to gain confidence so they can create and self-motivate to improve.

Ugigiugi had NONE of these qualities because at the end of the day she did not care about being an artist.

She wanted attention and praise and did not care how she got it.

Looking back on the fallout and how Ugigiugi handled it when people tried to correct her or called her out, I can't consider her a creator in any capacity. Given that most of her pieces are in the genre of Mary-sue/self-inserting, this was really just her putting the spotlight on herself and that's the bottom line.

Now I'll be frank: I don't care for self-inserting. But that is a personal preference. However, I understand it is a thing people do within fandom spaces for fun, and if that's what you like? More power to you.

But if you have to steal from other artists to do that? From fellow fans or even from people who probably spent years developing their skills and putting art online to advertise their artwork or comics? You are just a leech, no different from the "AI artists" plugging prompts into generators to spit out terrible soulless art, scrapped from the honest efforts of thousands before them. And how can you call yourself an artist when you take from everyone else but having nothing to show for yourself?

Finally, for my last point, I'll share my thoughts on Ugigiugi's last known post and her "apology" before she deleted her Tumblr since not everyone got to see her response/rant when the callouts first began to circulate. I'm also leaving her DA post here for reference.

Someone had asked me if there was any actual proof Ugigiugi ever apologized anywhere before she nuked her social media. No, she never did apologize. You can even see in her Tumblr "apology" that she doesn't admit to what she did before going off on a rant. As of this year? She still has never apologized for all the tracing or stealing and for not crediting her free resources.

That being said a lot of what Ugi said at the end of her apologies always bugged me. I'll zoom in on these parts of her posts.

Here's the thing. You can have all the dreams in the world you like. Does creating art help you escape from the troubles of the real world? By all means that stuff is normal. To create art and express things is also fine.

But what isn't normal or acceptable Ugigiugi's lack of responsibility.

You can't build things with stuff that isn't yours to begin with. What story or world is there to share if you're just stealing the building blocks from others with no regard for people's works or boundaries? How can you create or inspire anyone when all you have to offer is a poorly reproduced copy. Can you even call it a hobby when you're not even going to put in the minimum effort? I don't think so.

Yes, Ugigiugi's can have issues with the doxing/political hubbub but at the end of it all, she is in a mess entirely of her own making. If she hadn't traced and just sourced things properly, I don't think people would have gone after her for all the stuff she had stolen (problematic media/opinions aside obviously). Taking accountability is always a sign of maturity.

And that is probably the biggest reason I can't give Ugiugigi a pass. She is not some misguided young artist just starting out. She is an adult. And not just any adult but one in the educational field too. It is appalling and little disturbing that an educator is engaging in such selfish behavior. And in her own words she knows these things and people have corrected her. But instead of taking accountability, she chooses to double down even harder and get mad at everyone for "bullying" her. She acts like a victim and makes excuses right up until the bitter end. And even now, despite a year of silence, I suspect her stance hasn't changed.

But this post is already growing quite long and rather then continue to beat this dead horse, I would rather finish this entry to talk about what people should avoid.

Even a year later after the PDF was published there's still stuff being sourced from her traced works and we have no idea if Ugiugigi is continuing to lurk or continuing to steal but keep it offline to avoid another public fallout.

Whatever the case may be I would like to leave a final thought both to encourage people to not do what she did and also address and of her lingering supporters who might stumble across this:

There are some out there who feel that what Ugiugigi did was not that bad since "everyone traces". But these people are wrong.

When you take something that doesn't belong to you, that is stealing. And when people discover you have been stealing they get upset for far more than just the theft. They get angry because that person is a LIAR. That is a betrayal of trust from an artist they believed was acting in good faith. If said artist can just rip off other people's work or resources without even so much as a token acknowledgement of where their inspiration came from, it calls their entire body of work into question.

And when people discover you have lack integrity, they no longer trust you. And once you lose that trust it can be impossible to gain that back. That is why they leave, block that artist, and refuse to engage further because if they can steal from others, what is to stop them from stealing from you?

Ugiugigi's downfall is ultimately from her own egotism, a misguided belief that she deserved praise while giving negative effort. And while there are still many like her out there, there is at least one less parasite to deal with.

[seoulmatez]

୨♡୧ NABI (나비) — a caterpillar leaves the protection of its cocoon and blossoms into a butterfly.

pairing. tsukishima kei x reader.

info & warnings. 6.3k wc, art students tsukki & reader, fluff, mutual pining, self-doubt on reader’s end (regarding skill).

note. inspired by the kdrama nevertheless! i also have a playlist if you'd like to listen while or after reading :) enjoy~

you blink at the sculpture situated in your workspace. unsurprisingly, its cold, inanimate eyes only stare back at you. the lack of response, though anticipated, draws a bitter laugh from your lungs. other than the fact that it’s unfinished, there’s something wrong with the piece in front of you. you’ve known it and your professor made that much clear during her class evaluations today.

what are you trying to convey? it feels empty. you aren’t showcasing your true potential.

by the time she had moved on to check the progress of the next student’s work, you felt as empty as she claimed your piece was. and, even though you didn’t have high expectations, the criticism hurt. your classmates must have been able to tell, too, because as soon as class was dismissed, they crowded around you with apologies for the harshness you faced and extended words of encouragement to help get you through the upcoming stages of the project. you thanked them, of course, but none of their words truly got through to you. you wouldn’t be standing here trying to figure out what had gone wrong or what was missing if they had.

“hey.” you jump at the sound of a voice several feet away. for the first time since class ended, you tear your eyes away from the source of your sorrows. it’s strange—you don’t think it shouldn’t be possible for your mood to shift so quickly, but the sight of a certain someone always seems to lift your spirits.

“hey yourself,” you greet tsukishima with a smile. it graces your lips naturally—isn’t strained or forced like it would be for anyone else in this moment.

heavy footsteps echo throughout the large studio as the man makes his way toward you. instinctively, his gaze falls to the idle figure before you. he inspects the sculpted model while speaking. “still working? i can get lunch alone if you’re busy.”

you shake your head and quickly snatch up the clear trash bag that you use to store your work. it’s transparent, sure, but you don’t want tsukki of all people scrutinizing your work. the bag crinkles loudly as you carefully place it over the sculpture in a poor attempt to keep it hidden from your companion.

“nope! i’m done for the day,” you assure him. your spectacle of storing the sculpture has the opposite of your intended effect, as tsukki’s golden eyes slowly pass between you and it. eventually, his stare lands and stays on you. it’s intense and you almost cower under it but you’ve known him long enough to know that, despite it looking like it, there’s no intimidation behind his eyes. you clear your throat, wiping your sweaty, clay-stained palms on the pants of your coveralls.

“where should we eat?”

after a lunch consisting of pre-packaged sandwiches and bottled water, the two of you decide that since you both have time before your next classes, you can spend it at the campus arboretum. you don’t find yourself here often, but tsukki leads you to a bench he frequents whenever he has downtime. you drop your bag on the edge of the seat before plopping down yourself. your companion joins you, albeit, a lot more gracefully.

it’s nice here, you decide, peaceful even. the scent of freshly mowed grass wafts through the air. it’s dewy, too—the sprinklers must have been at work earlier, sometime in the morning. if you looked hard enough at the patches of sunlight, you might have been able to see the little droplets of moisture sticking to the tips of the individual blades.

“how’d your evaluation go?” tsukki’s voice cuts through the silence.

damn it. you were hoping that minuscule detail you had shared would slip the blonde’s mind but that might as well have been an impossible ask of tsukishima. every piece of information he comes across is stored away in the neatly organized archive that is his brain. it can be useful at times; like when you seek him out to help you study or when you’re having trouble trying to remember the name of the ice cream shop you want to drag him to. other times, though, you consider it a curse; like when you attempt to cheat at board games or when you take a crack at convincing him that it’s his turn to pay even though it’s definitely yours. now, in this moment, his incredible memory has come back to bite you.

you exhale a breath that’s meant to be a soft sigh but comes out as more of a burdened huff. you don’t want to lie to him, but even if you did, you wouldn’t be able to. you’re as much as a glass wall to tsukki—he can see right through you without even trying. you keep your reply short and leave out the humiliating scene your professor put you through. “could have been better. i’ll figure everything out soon enough.”

“do you need help?” he asks, staring at the ground.

the laugh you let out causes tsukishima’s head to turn in your direction. his brows are knit together in confusion. another huff of laughter passes your lips before you wave your hand in dismissal. it’s not that you’re above his help, rather, it’s the fact that he even offered. you don’t put kind gestures past him—he can be nice when he wants to—but his concern catches you off guard. “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t want to distract you from your own projects. besides, i have it covered.”

“if you say so.” he doesn’t press because it’s clear you don’t want him to. though, a small part of him can’t help but feel that something is bothering you more than you’re letting on.

a comfortable silence blankets the two of you as you sit and enjoy the scenery. you hold your arm up to check the time on the watch strapped around your wrist. there’s half an hour until you need to get to your last class of the day. usually, you’d be itching to find something to do, something to keep you busy. sitting around and doing nothing isn’t productive and you find it to be quite boring. but this leisure time today doesn’t feel like that. it’s welcome and you’re truly enjoying it.

just as you’re about to lower your arm back to its place at your side, a set of deep-colored wings—maybe blue or purple—catches your eye. the wings flutter towards you, slowing with their approach to your hand. there are a few more languid flaps as the butterfly comes to rest on your finger. unconsciously, a smile pulls at the corners of your lips.

tsukki watches you watch the butterfly. the smile you’re wearing now is different than the ones he’s become familiar with. this one is more relaxed; your lips don’t expose your teeth like they would if you were posing for a picture. this one is calm; he can’t see the inside of your mouth like he’d be able to if you were laughing over something you found funny—funnier than it actually was. but this particular smile does share something with the others; it makes his heart feel weightless in his chest.

he clears his throat and asks, “do you like them?”

you cast him a curious glance before turning back to the insect perched on your finger. that alone, he thinks, is enough to consider an answer. still, he elaborates. “butterflies. do you like them?”

you hum in both understanding and confirmation, nodding your head to tell him yes.

“why?” he follows up.

“i guess i’ve never really thought about it,” you softly laugh. your exhale must have disturbed the butterfly because its wings pick up that rapid flutter, carrying it away into the air. you watch it go, fly with the wind, until it’s out of your sight. tsukki’s question resurfaces as you tuck your hands under your thighs. you ponder over it for a moment while you stare up at the sky. as far as you can see, it’s boundless. the butterfly that had just left you could be anywhere in the vastness of the cloudy blue canvas by now. “i like them because they’re pretty… and free.”

there’s a strange expression on your face when tsukishima looks back over at you, one that doesn’t match the lightheartedness of your words.

you look envious.

• • •

these days, it’s rare for you to be the first to the destination when you plan to meet with tsukishima. it’s become a habit for you to show up after him and on the occasion that you’re taking too long for his liking, he’ll come and get you from the studio himself. you’ve broken the trend today, though, choosing to drop the extra work you assigned yourself in favor of grabbing coffee with tsukki. you were sure that your brain would explode and leak out of your ears if you spent even a second longer analyzing the cursed sculpture.

“is it rude to start my drink if he isn’t here yet?” you mumble to yourself, chin resting on your crossed arms that lay on the table. the cup dripping with condensation on top of the white square napkin has monopolized your attention since you had set it down. on the other side of the surface sits tsukki’s usual iced americano. it’s the only thing keeping you from taking a sip of the beverage in front of you. you’ve come to notice that whenever tsukki is in situations like these, ones where he’s left waiting for you, he orders for you both and doesn’t lay a finger on his meal or snack or drink until you arrive.

it’s those consistent gestures that push you toward your decision; as long as his is untouched, yours will be, too.

you want to give yourself a pat on the back for resisting temptation and choosing to be considerate but the scraping that accompanies the drag of a chair stops you from doing so. you squeeze your eyes shut and shiver at the unpleasant noise. a chuckle sounds from across the table, leading you to open your eyes. there’s an amused grin on tsukki’s face that brings a frown to yours.

“that’s the thanks i get for treating you?” you mumble, aimlessly swirling the ice cubes of your drink around with your straw.

he raises his cup with his words, “thank you.” soft pink lips wrap around the clear plastic straw and you watch as the dark liquid travels up the cylinder. it draws your eye to the rest of his face—his honey eyes occupied with the passing pedestrians outside the shop, his buttery blonde hair tickling the top of his black and gold browline style glasses, the speck of dried green paint staining his otherwise unblemished skin.

your lips wobble in an effort to hold back your laugh but a short giggle makes it past despite your struggle to hold it in. tsukki’s eyes fall on you. a grin he knows all too well, one that means nothing but trouble, plays at your lips. “what?”

you tap your cheek, the same spot where the paint was splattered on his. “you have a bit of paint on your face.”

the man clicks his tongue in annoyance—at himself, not you. he’s normally better about making sure he’s cleaned up after class but today some of the paint he was working with must have splashed up while he was washing his palette. he sets his drink down before bringing his thumb up to wipe the dot away. it swipes over his cheek but the green doesn’t disappear.

“here,” you speak up upon seeing that his motion was unsuccessful in removing the blotch. you lean across the table so that you’re closer to him, within arms reach. your index finger pokes out to gently scratch off the fleck of paint. it lingers for a moment—your finger that now has a green spot under the nail—as you scan the rest of tsukki’s face. a close look that you’ve never been warranted before reveals a sprinkle of light freckles that dot his nose and sparsely spread to his cheeks. you’re not sure why, but your eyes flit up to his. and he’s looking right back at you. in this proximity, you can pick out flakes of gold like crushed foil sheets floating in the pools of honey.

you snatch your hand back when you realize you’ve been staring. with a fist over your mouth, you clear your throat in hopes that the tension you’ve created will dissolve with whatever’s stuck in your pharynx. what on earth possessed me to do that? you berate yourself, choosing to look at your drink instead of tsukki. if you kept your eyes on him, you would have seen that he was feeling just as bashful as you. the tips of his ears burn a blistering red and he’s also avoiding your gaze.

you discreetly shake your head in an attempt to physically rid your brain of any thoughts that have to do with being so close to tsukishima. they aren’t unpleasant but they are the last thing you should be concerned with considering how badly your sculpture is progressing. you sit up at the reminder. it’s a perfect excuse to move on from the awkwardness between you. “i guess that means your painting is going well.”

tsukki nods. “i finished it today.”

“really?” your voice squeaks and you pat your chest to regain your composure. while both of you are art students, you specialize in different mediums. despite this, you’ve always made an effort to keep up with tsukki’s assignments and the schedule he’s given. “don’t you still have a week until it’s due?”

“yeah. i didn’t need all the time allotted.”

you’re torn. on one hand, you’re amazed by tsukishima’s efficiency—you have been since the two of you were first introduced to each other. despite how fast he works, he consistently produces exceptional pieces. he’s a skilled artist who will have no trouble finding success after graduation. though, as proud as you are of him, you can never seem to bury the part of you that craves what he has—his competence, his speed, his talent. you don’t want to doubt and reconsider each move your hands make. you don’t want to constantly feel the weight of a deadline on your shoulders. you don’t want to question whether or not you’re cut out for this field.

your sudden silence doesn’t go unnoticed by the blonde but he has no intention of pressuring you into telling him what you’re thinking about. though, he has an inkling that it might be about the sculpture that’s been giving you trouble. all the conversations you have with him are normal until any mention of your project comes up. tsukishima isn’t one to pry and the last thing he wants is to agitate you by bringing it up, but he’s at war with himself. could he call himself a good friend if he were to stand idly by when you needed him?

before he has the chance to ask if something’s wrong, a soft smile makes its way to your face. it’s almost as though the bout of quiet was nothing more than tsukki’s imagination. he knows that isn’t the case, but maybe this is your way of telling him that you aren’t quite ready to disclose what’s bothering you. so, he licks his lips and bites his tongue.

it’s difficult, but you force yourself to set all of your coveting feelings aside. there’s something else you’re curious about, anyway. “since you wrapped that up early, what are you going to do with your free time in class?”

“i think i’m going to start a personal project,” tsukki replies, mindlessly tapping at the cup in front of him with his finger.

“oh yeah? what is it? another painting?”

“it’s a secret.” the words alone are enough to make your lips part in surprise; tsukki always tells you what he’s working on. even more surprising is what he does next. across from you, tsukki gestures locking his lips and tossing the key over his shoulder, all while sporting a smile.

you laugh. it’s breathy and laced with disbelief but the humor is still there. in the two years you’ve known tsukki, he’s never proven to be someone who jokes. he’s sarcastic, that’s for sure, but rarely a guy who goes out of his way to make others laugh. it’s new and it’s different but in this moment, his jesting is refreshing.

tsukki’s just happy to have cheered you up, even if it’s only a little bit.

• • •

another crumpled paper misses the waste bin next to your workstation. the sound of it hitting the floor seems to echo throughout the empty, silent studio. class ended hours ago and all of your peers had filed out then but you’ve been anchored to your seat since dismissal. the sun is setting now, dipping below the horizon. its dimming rays flood the room with a warm yellow. the quiet and setting sun should make for the perfect working environment but they don’t. the silence is suffocating and despite the patches of golden sunlight peeking in through the windows, you’re cold.

the stool you’re sitting on creaks as you swivel to face your creation. time has passed since your first evaluation and you’ve made additions and alterations to your sculpture but every time you look at it for a second too long, you’re filled with distaste. it’s clear that you’ve made visible progress on the piece but you have yet to figure out what more you can pour into it—yet to answer your professor’s question. the missing piece is beginning to piss you off.

your lips quiver and tears prick at your eyes. how pathetic, you think, crying over something like this. but the tears trickling down your cheeks and dripping off your chin aren’t ones brought on by sadness. they’re a byproduct of your frustration. you’re frustrated because something you’re supposed to love doing is giving you so much hardship, causing you so much stress that you’d rather destroy it than continue wasting time trying to find out what’s wrong with it. you want to scream at the top of your lungs. you want to shove this poor excuse of a sculpture over and watch it shatter into little pieces, listen to it crack and break.

maybe that would give you some peace of mind.

the buzzing of your phone against the desk it’s resting on distracts you from your destructive thoughts. you consider leaving it alone and letting it ring but the rational side of you is shouting to answer it. who knows what you’ll get up to if you ignore it.

the vibrations continue as you wipe away your tears with the sleeve of your shirt. your vision is still bleary but you can make out tsukishima’s contact name and photo. you don’t want him to hear that you’ve been crying but you know he’ll go out of his way to come here and check on you if you don’t pick up. it’s easier to hide your emotions over than phone than it is in person. so, with a resolute sniffle, you swipe the green phone icon to the right.

“hello?” your voice comes out more steady than you thought it would.

“hey.” tsukki doesn’t seem to notice the slight falter in your tone. you close your eyes in relief. “are you on your way?”

your eyebrows furrow at his question. were you supposed to be meeting him somewhere? “on my way where?”

“the movie theater.” his words take a moment to register but as soon as they do, you gasp.

“oh my god, i completely forgot.” you slap a hand to your cheek. you were the one who suggested going to see a movie tonight and you unintentionally stood tsukki up. you wonder how you’re capable of forgetting the plans you made but the answer is obvious and it’s right behind you. that damned sculpture. “i’m so sorry, tsukki. i’ll pay you back for the tickets.”

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” his response leaves no room for argument. you’ve come to learn that fighting over matters like these with him is useless; he’ll always win. so, instead, you sigh in defeat.

“are you still on campus?” he asks. you almost laugh. are you really that predictable?

you hum, spinning around to look at your piece. your head tilts to the right as your eyes follow the figure up from its head and down to its feet. you thoughtfully chew your lower lip. seeking out help has never been a strong suit of yours but the fact that tsukki called in the middle of your mini freak-out must have been the universe’s way of telling you to swallow your pride. maybe a fresh perspective would help get you through this slump. “actually, can i ask you for a favor?”

“ask away.”

“can you help me refresh on dynamic anatomy? something’s off with my sculpture and i think it might be the proportions.”

“sure,” his answer comes a lot quicker than you expect it to, especially considering how easily you forgot about the movie you had planned this evening. though, it shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise. tsukki doesn’t hold grudges—not with you, at least—and he even offered his help after hearing about your nightmare of an evaluation. “when should we meet?”

you’re inclined to say right now but you stop yourself. it would be rude to take the time that was once set aside for a fun outing and use it to research instead. “tomorrow night if you’re free. we can study at mine.”

“i’ll be there.”

• • •

the scratch of your pencil against the white sheet of paper along with the continuous hum of your air conditioner are the only noises that fill your room. tsukishima isn’t one for meaningless chatter and usually you wouldn’t mind but right now his silence makes you feel as though he’s staring you down like a hawk. you can’t be sure of how long it’s been since you started but you do know that it has felt like an eternity. your hand is beginning to cramp and the dull throb in your skull is a warning of an oncoming headache. you toss the pad of paper onto the empty spot of your mattress between you and tsukki. your head meets your pillow with a groan as you squeeze your eyes shut.

tsukki looks up from his textbook to inspect your work. the stretched arm sketched out on the page of your notebook is perfect, practiced, and the opposite of what he’d expect of someone who needed his guidance. he has a sneaking suspicion that the so-called “something wrong” with your project is nothing more than a product of your overthinking. still, he doesn’t enjoy seeing you this stressed.

“do you want to take a break?” tsukki suggests. his book closes with a thump. he peers down at you, patiently waiting for your reply.

you nod, eyes still shut. with your thumb and index finger, you create the smallest gap that you can without looking. “just a short one.”

the stillness that characterized the room a few minutes ago returns. tsukki glances over your figure; you’re resting comfortably, head denting your fluffy pillow, hands joined on your tummy. it’s nice to see you in such a pleasant state. the blonde was beginning the think he’d have to get used to seeing you with a crease between your eyebrows and a frown on your face. he knows the contentment you’re feeling now won’t last forever, but he can at least try to prolong it. he rakes a hand through his hair and shakes it as though the action will dispel the unusual jitters coursing through him. “would you like to see what i’ve been working on?”

you shoot up so quickly that your visions spots. a few rapid blinks are enough to solve your problem. with a turn of your head, tsukki appears before you. “you have it with you? it’s done?”

he simply nods.

“yes, i wanna see it!” you practically shout at him as though your answer should be obvious. and, to you, it should be. there’s never been a time when you weren’t bursting at the seams with excitement to see one of tsukki’s pieces. you reach out and grab his arm, squeezing his bicep eagerly. “show me.”

after prying your fingers off from around his arm, tsukki’s hand disappears into the side of his backpack. whatever he’s looking for doesn’t evade him for long because it only takes him a couple seconds to straighten back up with the item in his hold. he sets something in front of you, something you can’t say you were expecting. it’s a box—a small, white, plain box.

you eye the container suspiciously before facing your friend. “this… doesn’t look like a painting to me. or a drawing, at that.”

“just open it,” he urges you with a light nudge to your shoulder. you don’t miss the way the corners of his lips twitch into a smile.

you snicker at his veiled annoyance while picking up the thin, rectangular box. the lid is snug and you have to shimmy it a bit to remove it from the rest of the case. your labor reveals a piece of jewelry. hanging from a dainty chain is a butterfly charm. its wings up top are blue and the set on the bottom are purple. they’re similar to those of the butterfly you saw in the arboretum but the colors are lighter and more translucent—much softer.

“a necklace?” you question, carefully taking the adornment out of its box. the pendant sways like a pendulum with your movement and your gaze follows it back and forth. “who’s it for?”

the gentle swinging stops when tsukki’s hand stretches out to take the necklace from you. you’re taken aback and the tiniest bit wounded by his indirect answer. he doesn’t give you any time to dwell on the matter because it only takes a second for him to unclasp the metal fastener and bring the necklace around your throat. the pendant sits cozily against your jugular notch as tsukki clips the latch back in place. a set of large hands come to rest on your shoulders and they gingerly turn you towards the mirror in front of your bed.

“it’s for you,” tsukki speaks, letting his hands fall back to his sides. he observes your countenance in the reflection of the mirror in hopes of reading your reaction, though, you’re too occupied staring at the necklace. the expression you wear is calm, but tsukishima can pick up on that same sparkle in your eyes—the one from the day when he decided to make the piece of jewelry for you, the envious one.

“pretty,” you whisper.

you said that then, too, that they were pretty. that wasn’t the only thing he recalled you saying you liked about butterflies. “you should take notes from them.”

without looking up, you huff out a laugh. “are you saying i’m ugly?”

“no, you’re plenty pretty,” tsukki clears up his previous statement. you were joking with him but his clarification leads you to meet his eye in the mirror. as easily as his statement was delivered, there’s a troubled line between his brows. “i just mean… can i offer you some advice?”

others might view tsukki as a serious person, but you rarely see that side of him. his hardened, golden eyes harbor a sense of urgency behind them. you hold his stare and curtly nod in a gesture for him to continue.

“about your sculpture,” he starts, a hand reaching back to scratch his neck. he knows his words are necessary, knows that you need to hear them, but he finds that there’s something strange about him giving you guidance. he isn’t one to instruct or give his opinion in most situations but yours is a special case. you’re special. “you’re thinking too technically about things. nothing’s wrong with it; you just haven’t found a piece of you to put into it yet. free yourself from the confines of expectation and start to think about what you want to express through your sculpture.”

tsukki left you with his input at least a couple hours ago but as you lay in bed, it still feels like he’s beside you. his cologne lingers on your sheets—cedar and grapefruit; the one you got him for his birthday last year. you close your eyes and inhale deeply. a wave of serenity washes over you as you take in the fragrance.

your pointer finger traces the shape of the butterfly pendant resting between the dip in your collarbone. tsukki’s words echo in your head. you haven’t found a piece of you to put into it yet. is that really the solution to your problem? would that satisfy your professor? will it satisfy you?

there’s no way of knowing unless you try. and, luckily for you, your new necklace has given you the perfect idea of what to express through your piece.

• • •

for the first time since you’ve started working on your sculpture, you’re happy, excited even. the sense of dread that used to suffocate you whenever you looked at your project disappeared the day after your chat with tsukki. you spent the entire night thinking about what you could do to give the cold, bare figure some character in your likeness. it came easier than you ever thought it would and that’s all thanks to tsukishima. without him and his help, you were on track to turn in an assignment you absolutely hated and was sure to earn a mediocre grade at best.

for the past week and a half, you’ve devoted just as much time to the sculpture as you did when it was nothing more than an ugly reminder of your shortcomings—but this time around, you aren’t searching for something to fix. you’re adapting it—changing its expression, adjusting its pose, adding elements you wouldn’t have even considered without tsukki giving you a helping hand. you don’t end up scrapping anything but by the time you’ve put on the finishing touches, it feels like a completely new piece—one that you’re proud of.

you can’t wait to show tsukki.

it’s the day before your project is due and, surprisingly, you leave class on time. now that your sculpture is finished entirely, there’s no reason for you to stick around in the building until the sky is dark and the moon and stars start their shift. you do have one more order of business in the studio before you call it a day, though, and he should be departing from his own class right about now.

right on cue, a crowd of students pushes past the doors to the lecture hall you’re waiting outside of. tsukki is easy to pick out amongst the rest and you wave him over as soon as he catches sight of you.

“hey! ready to see it?” you ask as your companion approaches.

he can practically see the excitement radiating off of you. you’re beaming and bouncing on the balls of your feet. the show of enthusiasm brings a smile to tsukki’s face. he jerks his head in the direction of your building, “lead the way.”

you turn on your heel to begin your journey and tsukki follows. the weather is nice today—the sun is out but it’s not too hot and there’s a cool breeze in the air. you’re already in a good mood but the environment seems to elevate it even more. so much so that you almost forget something you planned this morning.

“oh!” you stop in your tracks. tsukki almost bumps into you but catches himself before he does. luckily you’re just outside your destination so it’s not too late to go through with your little arrangement. you sling your bag to the side and dig around it until you find the object you hurriedly stuffed in it hours earlier. tsukki’s beside you now and you can feel him staring down at you. you spin to look at him and hold out the item. “here. put this on.”

he eyes your outstretched hand with a humored snort. “you brought your sleep mask from home?”

“just put it on or you’ll ruin the big reveal.” you shove the koala bear eye mask into his chest, holding it there until his hand comes up to take it. tsukki has always had a hard time saying no to you and now is no different—especially with how happy you are. how could he deny you of this? with that thought, tsukki takes the fluffy grey eye cover and situates it on the upper half of his face. a few pieces of his sandy blonde hair stick up haphazardly due to the elastic band. you giggle at the sight.

“i’ll guide you, give me your hand,” you instruct him, wiggling your fingers despite the fact that he can’t see you. he holds his palm up and you take it, intertwining your fingers with his and tugging him behind you. his hand is warm and a lot softer than you expected it would be. holding it with yours feels normal… and right. you struggle to fight the growing smile on your face as you lead tsukki through your building.

there are a few turns and a flight of stairs but, thankfully, you’re able to get him to the studio without much trouble. when you pass the threshold that is the door, you swear you can feel your heart rate pick up. the organ threatens to jump into your throat with each step you take towards your sculpture. once there’s a considerable gap between you and your piece, you pull on tsukki’s hand to stop him.

“are we here?” he asks.

“yeah.” at your word, he moves to take the animal-themed cover off his face. the movement makes you panic.

“wait!” you yell, snatching his hands away and holding them in yours. tsukki’s eyes aren’t visible but you’re sure they would have widened in surprise at your abrupt outburst. hell, you’re even caught off guard by the turn of events. less than five minutes ago you were about ready to explode with excitement at the mere thought of finally showing tsukki your project. you aren’t sure where this sudden bout of fear came from.

you look over your shoulder to the fruits of your labor. just seeing it swells you with a sense of pride. it reminds you of how far you’ve come and tsukki’s the one who helped get you to this point. there’s nothing for you to be afraid of. taking a deep breath, you release tsukki’s hands and step to the side. “okay,” you nod, “you can look.”

slowly, tsukki reaches up to remove his blindfold.

it’s much different than the little peek he got of it before you hid it from him that handful of weeks ago. he expected as much but it’s more than clear that you took his advice to heart. it takes as little as a quick glance to tell that you found exactly what you thought was worth expressing in it. and tsukki thinks that the message you chose to share is fitting.

the expression on the face of your statue conveys a mixture of emotions. the furrow in its brows isn’t one of confusion or anger, it’s one of strain and trouble. the lips are parted, not in surprise or shock, but in struggle. its countenance is apprehensive yet hopeful. further down the body, the sculpture isn’t as bare. there’s foliage—lianas—at its feet that travel up its legs, roping them in and rooting them to the ground—trapping them where they stand. the right one is positioned mid-step and beginning to break free from the vines wrapped around it. the arm on the same side is stretched out in reach of something and its fingers are bent—almost as if the figure is attempting to grasp whatever it’s chasing.

a look to the left reveals what the sculpture is after—a swarm of colorful butterflies.

your eyes flit over to tsukki who hasn’t spoken a word. his amber irises are honed in on your project and you can’t tell what’s swimming behind them. his quiet plants a seed of uncertainty within you but you don’t give it a chance to sprout, don’t allow it any sunlight or water to blossom. you’re tired of questioning yourself and your abilities. this project is physical proof that you’ve grown—enough so that you know your worth as an artist isn’t dependent on anyone else’s opinion. still, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about what tsukki thought. he was more helpful than anyone throughout this entire process.

“so…” your voice slices through the silence. “what do you think?”

for the first time since taking off the silly sleep mask you had given him to put on, tsukki looks at you. and this time around, his face shows exactly what he’s thinking. the corners of his eyes crinkle with the smile he wears. it’s a rare one—not sarcastic or half-hearted or the mere upward tug of his lips. “i think it’s amazing. good job, you.”

his empty hand comes up to ruffle the hair atop your head. any other time you’d playfully scold him for so carelessly ruining your appearance but all you can do in this moment is smile in return. there’s a different kind of affection behind his familiar action—one that tells you he’s proud of you. with his hand still resting on your head, tsukki asks, “how do you feel now that it’s done?”

you look to your sculpture. instinctively, your hand reaches up to the butterfly hanging from your neck. upon touching it, your answer comes instantly.

“free.”

thanks for reading! consider commenting or reblogging if you enjoyed ❤︎

[anantaru]

Alhaitham's demo made me think to the concept you did for Kuni and now I have a mighty need for gossip boyfriend Kaveh. I think he would be so extra and I am here for it.

cw. none, gn! reader, gossip boyfriend kaveh

he‘s not gossiping about the latest tea, he is the tea, the star of the show, the center of attention.

gossip boyfriend kaveh is truly next level.

sometimes he won‘t even tell you that he‘s coming over to your place before he‘s already in front of your door, nervously patting his foot against the floor because kaveh just couldn‘t wait any longer.

he‘s transparent with you all the time so he wouldn‘t want you to miss out on a single situation in his life— doesn't matter to him if it‘s deemed serious or the opposite.

yet before anything, kaveh wants you to greet him accordingly, always:

he requires exactly two kisses and a long hug from you, preferably three minutes long (maybe another kiss when he's feeling extra clingy)

and yes, in those particular moments kaveh can become especially clingy— he needs you to hold his hand or be close, wants you to squish his cheeks and inform him that, of course, it's okay, he can let it all out and speak with you on whatever had riled him up or ruined his mood.

.. after that he'll begin to ramble to you right away.

he does it as easy as breathing air, as if it's a part of him.

because, you see, "alhaitham hasn't done the dishes, again." and no, "he won't do them for him, alhaitham needs to learn how to take responsibility in his own household."

it'll go on, babble after babble— and before you know it kaveh turns into a dramatic little mess, theatrically burrowing himself further into your warm chest while you're drawing tiny circles on his back to quell his anger, unable to keep your laughs stiffled.

"you're the only one who understands."

he's sobbing and being peculiarly aloud to get his point across. On that, he’s taking your free hand in his to directly place it on top of his head— as to signalize that he'd like you to play with his hair now. (it awakenes a deep serene in him whenever you do)

"please." he‘s whining, "my day was awful!" you again, can barely take him serious whenever he‘s like that, though speaking back in a lower voice.

"try to ignore him baby, i‘m sure he does it on purpose."

kaveh right away, melts at the nickname you had chosen for him, placing a warm kiss on your chest and being eternally relieved that he had you and could show up to your place whenever he‘s having a bad day.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate