#I can dm you the lyrics if you want
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@finntheehumaneater GUESS WHAT
#Im done!#pet project here I come#I'll probably touch it up tomorrow but this is mostly it#I can dm you the lyrics if you want#or just reblog them here#either works#atlas.audio#music#shitty music#atlas.txt
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Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)
I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.
I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.
(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)
In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.
Battle (let’s go)
For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.
And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.
(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)
To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.
Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️
(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)
If one thing had been different
Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?
(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)
(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)
There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.
(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)
To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)
(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)
Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.
Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)
Death by a thousand cuts
She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.
(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)
Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.
(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)
In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.
Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.
Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)
From the same little breaks in your soul
I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.
Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)
This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️
#writing letters addressed to the fire#me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics#taylor swift#midnights#long post#lyrics analysis#song parallels#Gabby this one is for you friend <3#here goes nothing#Happy Friday or something idk!#(also i know i said there are things i wouldn’t discuss on main but my dms are open lol)#this is not as structured or well plotted out as I wanted it to be#and turned out to be more stream of consciousness than legit essay#but whatever at least i got my thoughts out there and it can release some plot of land in my brain for other stuff to think over lol#If anyone ever reads this thank you! And I’m sorry?#The best compliment i ever got in school#was when we were doing an analysis of a poem in English lit in college#And i brought something up casually#and my prof went ‘I’ve been teaching this class for eight years and that’s the first time anyone’s ever brought it up like that’#’and that just blew my mind’#and i was like ‘who me?’#so that’s all you need to know about me lol#Midnights: The Great War#Bigger than the whole sky#bttws#Midnights: Paris#Midnights: high infidelity#would’ve could’ve should’ve#Midnights: dear reader#midnights: bigger than the whole sky
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Now that I've mamaged to sleep...
So if you've heard Umazane Misli in Malay yesterday at Joker Out's Amsterdam show (6/12), that was me who sang it at the barricade in front of the boys.
If you have any video recording of me singing it, please send it to me!
I would love to keep it and also tell my parents that getting a C for my Bahasa subject during my high school final exam ACTUALLY GOT ME SOMEWHERE HAHA.
Thank you also to everyone who cheered as I attempted the lyrics in front of Bojan. It's a great honor to bring Malaysia and South East Asia to the spotlight for a moment.
For anyone curious about what the actual words are...
#joker out#joker out amsterdam#MALAYSIA REPRESENT GUYS#SEA REPRESENTTTTTTT#i did it#i did the ultimate umazane misli experience OH SH#i only decided to try it yesterday as i was on my way to amsterdam so i just typed out the lyrics on my phone while i was on my way#i tried to not use too much negative words#because for smell in malay “bau” is associated with foul smells#so “wangi” is better#also if you want to suggest better words or phrasing please dm me! im happy to take in suggestions on what i can improve on for the lyrics#plus i cant think of a nice way to say “dirty thoughts” in malay without sounding too harsh#shoutout to my friend for also bringing papers and markers so i can write my sign#umazane misli
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Hospital Bed - Lolina: Origins
i am obsessed with this concept album its on bandcamp please go listen to it i need to not be the only person who cares about this
[id: a digital comic consisting of three pages, in grayscale and red.
the first page is four panels, each the width of the page. the first is all black. four beeps go diagonally down across the panel. the second panel is mostly black, with a somewhat fuzzy light in the middle left of the panel. it reads "what is this pain? what is this place?" in the third panel, the fuzzy image of a person is visible, the edges of the panel are still dark. it reads "am i alive? am i awake? what are these scars across my face?" in the fourth panel, a woman in a lab coat and a mask, the doctor, leans in. the right side of the panel is still dark. a speech bubble from the woman says "you are home". the narration interjects with "they say". the woman continues "you are safe."
the second page is three panels, the first one taking up most of the page, with the other two next to each other under it. the first panel is a birds-eye view of a room in a hospital. in the center is Lolina, a woman laying on a hospital bed. she has black hair, a bandage wrapped over her eye, and a red cut down the side of her face. the doctor stands next to the bed. sideways, in large letters, it reads "hospital bed, I'm back on mars." the second panel is a close-up of the upper half of Lolina's face, focusing on her left eye, which is red, and the bandage covering her other one. it reads "but i am wounded." the third panel is a close up of the lower half of her face, focusing on the cut on her cheek held together with butterfly bandages, and the large bandage on her other cheek. it reads "I feel the scars."
the third page is a drawing of the doctor standing by the bed, from Lolina's point of view. across it is dialogue interspersed with small panels. the doctor says "we can regrow your cells," and next to it is a small panel showing cells dividing. then she says "we can restore," and next to it is a panel showing the right half of Lolina's face, with her eye and cheek healed. then she says "you will go back," and next to it is a panel reading "Sandy's Place" in glowing red letters. the narration interjects with "they say." the doctor continues "to the life you had before." under it is a panel divided diagonally into four sections, the first showing red lips, the second showing black hair swishing, the third showing a pair of legs wearing red high heels, and the fourth showing a body from neck to hips, wearing a strapless red dress. under that the narration reads "to the life i had before". end id.]
(I've never written an id for a comic before and there was some visual stuff that was really tricky to describe so if I've messed something up or if something should be clearer please tell me and I'll try to fix it)
#this is by no means perfect but i NEED to get it posted so i can get myself to stop working on it in the middle of finals week#ive never made a comic before this was fun#lolina: origins#r l hughes#art#my art#seriously go listen to it its only one pound thats only a bit more than a dollar its way cheaper than it should be#it should have SO many trigger warnings though so i guess like dm me or whatever if you want more detail#there's also lyric videos by thevoidsings on youtube but supporting creators is important so if you watch those please also buy the album#if anyone's wondering (which im sure no one is) the comic is in grayscale but lolina is only black and white with no grays because that's#how she's drawn on the album cover and i liked how unsettling it made her look#also! her thoughts and narration have red in the letters and the organatech doctor's dont because shes the only one who gets any red#goddddddddd i need to get this out of my brain this is ruining my life#someone please please talk to me about this
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itwasmaroon is active and online ……. do i dm them
#IF YOU FOLLOW ME FOR SOME REASON PLS DM ME PLS PLS PLS#i have a bunch of random lyric urls i kept meaning to just delete but we can trade if you want 🫠
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i haven’t gotten to be a bookblr (?) girlie in a bit so lets gooooooo (some quotes detail sexual abuse)
“Suffering feels religious if you do it right”. Chelsea Hodson, Tonight I'm Someone Else: Essays
“How perverse is his glee? / To pick feathers from angels / For a wank bank of sufferings” CUPIDCORE, currently untitled [unreleased]
“I take my suffering like a martyr because it’s all I got
Who am I without my sufferings? /Who are you if you don’t get to watch? / My eyes to heaven / Mouth hanging open / My knees shred on hard ground— / Spit running down my chin now / Hand like a gun to the back of my head / Guiding me / ‘This is worship’ / ‘This is how to pray’— / Grunting loud now / All mean / Louder than the slop and choking / Promises to tear me a new one / And stick your fingers there— / Salt instead of sugar / I swallow like Agnes anyway— / Still looking up / Towards heaven’s gate— / As above so below /Flowing sticky hot heat / Why does the body betray / Those who carry it— / Behold; it’s little death / Seeing white again— / A shake signalling divine violence—/ Dying Martyr or Living God?— / Your three-headed Lamb” CUPIDCORE, A Love Like God’s Ⅱ [unreleased]
(edited) “One thing or the other: either the taboo holds good, in which case the experience does not occur, or if it does, only furtively, outside the field of awareness; or it does not hold good—“.
“—As far as science is concerned, the taboo is not justified, it is pathological, neurotic. It is seen from outside: in our own personal experiences— we see it as a neurotic phenomenon— an outside mechanism intruding on our consciousness. This— does not do away with the experience. Instead it minimizes its significance”.
“Hence when the historian, the psychiatrist or the psychoanalyst describe taboos and transgressions, they are only described objectively”. Not as a real functioning organ or tumour left untreated <-crazygirlpilledcore
#evidence of life#my reading / book / library tag is now#alexandria froze over#i really need to update my tag directory 🤒#ALSO IF YOU STEAL CUPID’S WORK I WILL KILL YOU i am very grateful she allowed me to post her unreleased lyrics please be respectful#you can quote them as well BUT you must credit her like i did <33#don’t take my add on either I’m writing or wrote [my memory is bad don’t want to switch apps to check] that i will post#blease… we’re in such a better place so please don’t make things screwy for us… if you know you know or whatever…#covering all my bases just in case 🤪 asks about us will be ignored asks of anon about him will be answered privately you can dm too#if i don’t feel comfortable answering something i won’t or you could mind your business……….#trying to think positive that if anyone asks it’s people who actually knew her and want to know of his wellbeing
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SPLATOON LYRICS. I MUST SEE THEM PLSPLSPLS
OMG THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 It's actually a rather personal project so I'm a bit reluctant to share, so uhhhh is there a specific song you'd want to see my words for? I'm willing to share at least one! I've finished words for City of Color, Calamari Inkantation, Tide Goes Out, Bomb Rush Blush, and Nasty Majesty! (I actually do have a few more but they're either missing like two lines or I'm still not 100% secure in them hehe)
#ok thats actually not true i do have lyrics for fresh start and into the light 100% done but theyre sooooo good that i want to save them!#my big ambition and dream is to eventually record them and post them to youtube! that'd be cool 🥺🥺🥺#but yeah im willing to post one here as a sneak peek if you send another ask ❤️ and maybe we can talk abt it more in dms if you like!#ruby answers#sploon 🐙
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this got wayyyyy too long for a reply and also I wanted to add links for convenience so I'm making it a reblog lol. but, hell yeah, I gotchu!!
For a music player: You said you don't have an iPhone and that's actually great because the local file music player app that I like, Musicolet, is Android-only. It's an excellent ad-free open source app that I like to describe as brutally functional, and I highly recommend it if you listen to music that you have actually downloaded on your phone.
As was mentioned in the replies you can also add local files to Spotify, but you can only listen to them on the device that has the actual file so if you add it from your phone you won't be able to listen to it on your computer unless you also have the local file on there. (ETA: I've been informed that you can sync files across devices but that it's a bit unreliable, and I don't know how to do it just that it's possible.) That option is in settings -> scroll all the way down and under "local files" toggle "show audio files from this device" on. That'll add a folder in your Spotify library for local files - it will just toss all of your local audio files into this folder without albums or subfolders so if you have a lot you'll have to manually organize them into playlists. I have playlists for some of the live tapes I listen to a lot, as well as for albums like Moon Colony Bloodbath and Black Pear Tree.
For the actual audio file: First off, here's my gdrive of a few unreleased/not on streaming tMG albums as well as the Deserters compilation which is a fanmade album of over 100 unreleased songs (to be clear, I did not make Deserters, it's just a great way to get into the unreleased stuff). All the albums in there are as zip files so you'll have to unzip any of them after downloading but you should be able to do that inside your phone's default file explorer. I've also tossed just the individual mp3 of Heel Turn 1 from the Deserters comp in there so if that's the only thing you want you can just grab that one! I also have a massive mediafire folder of all of the tMG music that I could find, and if anyone wants the link for that just send me a dm or ask :)
For getting specific songs yourself, there's tons of YouTube to MP3 converters available out there and any one should do the trick. I mostly do audio stuff on my computer rather than my phone so my personal preference is a desktop app, MediaHuman YouTube to MP3 Converter, but a good friend of mine uses the web-based y2mate which you should be able to use on your phone. You can also use NewPipe, which is basically a cracked version of the YouTube app (I've been using it for like a year and it's great), to download just the audio of a YouTube video. I sometimes download full albums as one long MP3 and then chop them into tracks, which I just use Audacity on my PC for. You can edit metadata like album, track number, track title, cover art, etc when you export something from Audacity or in Windows Media Player on a computer, or you can do that in Musicolet on your phone!
I'd also like to link the Live Music Archive as a great resource - there's literally hundreds of tapes of tMG concerts on there! You can stream them in your web browser or download any of them that you want, whether full concerts or just specific tracks. I've got a good dozen full concerts downloaded on my phone and listen to tapes regularly and I've barely made a dent in the archive. This is also a great way to directly find mp3s of specific live-only songs, on the tMG wiki it lists every concert that a song has been played at on the song's page and you can go search for those shows in the archive to try and find a recording of it.
I have no idea if you mainly/only operate on a phone, so I tried to make this crash course as accessible as possible for either a phone (Android, I don't know iPhone at all I'm sorry iPhone users) or a PC. If you have any questions at all I am absolutely happy to help out! I operated on only a phone for like 6 years before I got a PC so I know my way around this kind of stuff. And if you or anyone else wants an mp3 of an unreleased/not on streaming album that I don't have in that drive, feel free to drop me an ask and I'd be happy to make one for you :D good luck with your music endeavours!
kicking and screaming bc I need to listen to heel turn 1 one million times per day and I don't know how to make songs on YouTube on my phone
#sorry for how long this is i was trying to be thorough#i didnt want to like. explain how to do file management and stuff because if you already know that it feels condescending#but if you do need me to explain that i absolutely can! its a bit stupid on phones and takes some finagling to make it work#i am literally always happy to help w this stuff so if i didnt cover anything drop an ask or dm or whatever <3#txt#transmissions from lyric#i dont have a tag for this stuff do i. hm it can go under#tapes#resources
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down bad.
in which, jude is a little bit too obsessed with his celebrity crush.
jude bellingham x singer!reader.
fc: imaan hammam.
liked by judebellingham, bellahadid, haileybieber and 8 183 018 others.
y/n: had so much fun tonight!
_
fan1: y/n you look so good
fan2: you ATE this look
fan3: princess y/n
judebellingham: 😍
fan4: of COURSE jude is in the first people to like and comment
fan5: at this point i think jude has y/n’s notifications on because there is no way
judebellingham: ofc i do!
fan6: STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS JUDE GUY OMG
fan7: y/n i’m begging you to drop another album or i’ll kms
fan8: WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO BRAZIL??
fan9: Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
fan10: marry me pls
view all comments.
liked by judebellingham, zayn, champagnepapi and 9 728 091 others.
y/n: hope you liked 'message in a bottle' and i hope the bottle found its receiver :)
_
fan1: GIRL YOU CAN’T LEAVE US LIKE THAT
fan2: WHO IS THIS DAMN SONG FOR??
fan3: been on repeat, amazing job y/n!
fan4: i missed your voice so much!!
fan5: IS THIS ABOUT JUDE???
fan6: Y/N I’LL KMS IN FRONT OF YOU IF YOU DON’T GIVE US ANSWERS
fan7: damn y’all are crazy
fan8: why would y/n write a song about a random football player?? she only dates a-list celebrities
fan9: lmao bold of y’all to assume our y/n would give time to your little jude
declanrice: please dm him y/n, he’s been playing this song every since it came out
judebellingham: IT’S NOT TRUE
fan10: abjskslslq not declan calling him out for being a fanboy
trentarnold66: i’m begging you to dm jude so he can SHUT THE FUCK UP
judebellingham: I’LL BEAT YOUR ASS DELETE THAT
masonmount: yeah we’re considering booking a therapist because he’s been crying over that song and making up scenarios about you
judebellingham: FAKE NEWS I KNOW THE SONG ISN’T ABOUT ME
y/n: it is actually.
fan11: WHAT
fan12: HOLY SHIIIIIT
declanrice: just letting you know that jude has fainted
view all comments.
insta dms.
y/n.
you really made me dm you first hm?
judebellingham.
holy shit
nah i must be dreaming rn
y/n.
haha no you’re not
so, you liked the song?
judebellingham.
y/n l/n is dming me
i must have saved a whole nation in my past life to be such a lucky mf
I LOVED IT
seriously your voice is heavenly and your lyrics always hit deep
but were you lying?
y/n.
thanks jude! about what?
judebellingham.
the song being about me, was that a lie?
y/n.
absolutely not.
i wouldn’t lie about that, jude.
this song is for and about you.
so, i heard you had to play against barcelona tomorrow, can i have an invite?
judebellingham.
you want to come?
OMG
YES OFC IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION
_
liked by y/n, declanrice, trentarnold66, and 1 728 092 others.
judebellingham: couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate tonight’s win!
_
y/n: the man of the match indeed
liked by judebellingham.
trentarnold66: WAR IS OVEEEEER
fan1: OMGGGGGGGG
fan2: i can’t believe he actually went on a date with THEE y/n l/n!!
fan3: nah man, respect to you
fan4: bellingham is on fire lately
aurelientchm: 😏
rodrygogoes: 😏😏
masonmount: 😏😏😏
toni.kr8s: 😏😏😏😏
judebellingham: i’m going to block every single ones of you.
view all comments.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x oc#jude bellingham fic#football#football au#football x reader#jude bellingham fanfic
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✦ . * ocean blue eyes pt. VII | r.c
pairing: rafe cameron x reader
author’s note: slow burn is not that slow anymore👀 i feel like this part is so chaotic but fun 😭 also not me giggling to myself as i wrote the texts between rafe and yn like i was basically texting myself ffs. @zyafics and @ghostofwriting are u ready
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
youruser replied to this story: can i come back in now?
sarahcam: no i still need a minute
youruser: COME ON ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD
youruser: you’re being dramatic!!! you’ve been hounding me about hearing that song for a thousand years
sarahcam: IF I HAD KNOWN IT WAS ABOUT RAFE I WOULDNT HAVE
youruser: YOU KNOW THIS IS HOW I COPE
liked by nothisisyn, papajay, jomby and 127 others
sarbear me after hearing yn’s new (still) unreleased song
view all 45 comments
nothisisyn let me live
➞ sarbear RELUCTANTLY
kiekie hey if you don't want that job i’ll gladly volunteer
➞ ohnoitscleor me too actually 🙂↕️
↳ nothisisyn see kie and cleo know what’s up
↳ sarbear i will BLOCK YOU
↳ nothisisyn YOU WOULDNT!
jomby what is going on….
❤️ liked by popey
topster share with the group sarah
❤️ liked by papajay and kiekie
➞ nothisisyn know your place topper
❤️ liked by rafewhoelse
↳ topster 🤐
────────────
your phone:
liked by rafe, sarahcam, jjmaybank and 1.982.363 others
youruser no distractions here, just our bodies in sync
view all 21.042 comments
ynsunshine this sounds horny as hell
sunburninmiami i wanna say smth but i don’t wanna sound like im making shit up…
➞ ynsbaby pls no drama😭
➞ ynforever let her cook
↳ sunburninmiami dm me
ynismybaby this is immediately going in my playlist😤
sarahcam I need several business days to recover
➞ youruser girl come on😭
whationlylistentoyn oh she’s cooking fr
kiecarerra okay….👀🤭
➞ youruser psh🤫
cleogriffith drop your hair care routine wtf
➞ youruser says you??🤨
❤️youruser liked this story
youruser: okay maybe LA isn’t that bad
rafe: you’re welcome to visit
youruser: maybe I will
liked by rafefan, cameronslegacy, stacystan and 1.319 others
rafecameronupdates rafe with a fan at yn’s concert in New York
view all 211 comments
raferforlyfer what the hell does he look so good for?
➞ ynsunshine yn obviously
➞ rafesgf 🤨
prettyboyz yooooo
jjsandrafes I wanna frame this and put it on my ceiling so I can look at it when I’m in bed
rafe247 I wanna do things to him and none of them are PG13
liked by jjmaybank, rafe, sarahcam and 2.942.581 others
youruser empty apartment out July 12!
view all 27.148 comments
kiecarerra song of the year i fear
➞ youruser okay shakespeare😭
obsessedwithyn holy
cleogriffith calendar is CLEARED
➞ popeheywardphotography you think she’s kidding but she genuinely cancelled our dinner reservation
whationlylistentoyn my goddddd im not readyyy😩
sarahcam fuck i guess it’s a pretty sick song🙄
➞ youruser ily2
sabrinacarpenter please please please
ynsunshine so it is a horny song
➞ ynylnsbabygirl what makes you say that
↳ ynsunshine girl look at the lyrics from all her previous posts and the picture she chose to make the announcement 😭
────────────
BONUS
your phone:
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
author’s note: god i live for all the excitement
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe x ypu#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron social media au#drew starkey#outer banks#obx
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'make it right' with jk for the 1k celebration pleeeaaaasssseeee 🫶
light of the morning
— request: jeongguk + make it right - bts
— pairing: jk x f. reader
— genre: fluff, angst
— word count: 2.7k
— warnings/tags: idol!jk, college student!oc, mild angst, they're best friends, insecurities and self-doubt thoughts.
— summary: in the eternal night that seems endless, jeongguk finds his peace in the light of the morning.
— author's note: hi anon! thanks for requesting :) summary is obviously inspired by the lyrics of make it right, which i used as the general inspiration for the story. i hope it doesn't stray too far from what you had in mind, hehe. enjoy!
a continuation of opposite of sun. i suggest to read that first before reading this!
masterlist
‘Jeongguk Takes Over Times Square With a Surprise Performance’
‘Massive Crowd Gathers In Times Square for a Jeongguk Surprise Performance’
‘Jeongguk Surprises Times Square Crowd With a Free Concert’
It’s been a day since Jeongguk’s surprise performance at Times Square, and the media headlines praising his performance just keep flooding in. In the articles, there were no flaws in his performance. Impeccable. Perfect. The media especially highlighted the way his fans only got a 30-minute notice before the performance, yet they were able to fill up the streets of Times Square. They were loud, singing along to his songs word for word, and Jeongguk is so proud.
The praises didn’t only come from online articles, they also came from the radio hosts and interviewers who were lined up in Jeongguk’s schedule today. It’s refreshing to answer questions outside of the usual ‘What’s your favorite food to eat in the US?’ and about his surprise performance instead. Jeongguk is grateful that his manager, Namjoon, scheduled these interviews after the performance instead of before it.
“Do I have any more interviews for today?” Jeongguk asks Namjoon, peeking at the clock on his phone. It’s only a little after seven in the evening. He knows it’s a silly question to ask, already knowing the answer by the look on Namjoon’s face.
“You have two more, actually,” Namjoon answers regardless. “Plus taping for two songs for one of them. I thought you knew this already?”
“Uh, yeah, just making sure.” Jeongguk clears his throat, eyes still on his phone.
“You’ve been checking your phone a lot today. Something wrong?” Namjoon inquires, a worried look replacing the duh one he had on his face earlier.
“No. Everything’s okay.”
Yes, something is very wrong.
It’s been more than a day since he video-called you, a little over a day since his performance at Times Square, and little less than a day since he texted you the YouTube link of said performance. In that time frame, his phone is completely void of any notification from you. No texts, no calls, even no tweets or an Instagram DM. You’ve been totally silent and it’s starting to get on his nerves. Why are you leaving him in the dark?
“You sure? You look like you want to punch someone.”
What he wants is praise from you! No, he doesn’t want it, he needs it. All the flowery words from the media and radio hosts mean nothing if he hasn’t heard one from you. Ever since he started his singing career, your opinion has always been one of the first ones he seeks. Without it, he’s lost. Left wondering whether his performance deserved the accolades, or they were only for his pretty face.
“Jeongguk, we’re here. Put a mask on and smile. You can worry about your best friend later,” Namjoon says the moment the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of a building somewhere in New York. Jeongguk looks at him as he’s getting off the vehicle, confused. His manager throws him a small smile. “Don’t look like that, it’s kinda obvious you’re thinking about her.”
“I haven’t heard from her since yesterday, hyung,” Jeongguk sighs. “I have the right to be worried.”
“You’re not the only one with stuff to do, you know? Maybe she’s busy too. I’m sure she’s fine,” Namjoon tries to reassure him. “Give her a call after this, to ease your mind.”
Namjoon is right. You’re probably busy juggling midterms and your part-time job back home. The chasm he felt yesterday opens back up, gaping to remind him that you two are worlds apart. Superstar Jeongguk who replies to texts in seven business days has no right demanding a reply from a regular college student after only one day.
Two more interviews. Two more songs to perform. Then he can hear your voice, see your face, and everything is going to be okay again.
Jeongguk finishes his schedule for the day a little after 1 AM. He tries to call you in the car, on the way back to his hotel. No answer. Tries again when he reaches his hotel room. Then tries again after he showered and changed into comfortable clothes to sleep in.
Ten missed calls.
Jeongguk goes to sleep with a dark cloud in his mind, completely restless.
In the morning, when the sun is already up—the way the moon is in Seoul, where you are—Jeongguk cracks his eyes open to stare at the ceiling in his room, his heart still heavy with worry. Also heavy is his head when he sits up on his huge hotel bed, likely due to his tossing and turning in his sleep all night. It doesn’t help that his lockscreen is still void of notifications labeled with your name. You’ve been MIA for almost two full days. Where are you?
He sends seven more bubbles in your chatroom, a sigh slipping past his lips when the tiny word under the blue bubble only reads delivered. He’s on his last thread of hope when he clicks on your contact picture to video call you, and that thread snaps when all he’s staring at on the screen is his own puffy and tired face.
Maybe he should order some breakfast. Get something to munch on, pry his mind away from the thought of you and what you’re up to in a country far, far away from where he is. He hopes you’re okay. He hopes you aced that midterm you were up until three to study for (although you spent the good part of the last hour talking to him on FaceTime). He hopes you’re eating well and not some instant cup ramyeon or shitty take-out from the Chinese place by your apartment that you frequent because it’s cheap.
After skimming through the room service menu, Jeongguk places an order of breakfast enough to feed five people. (What? He needs his energy. And a distraction.) The kind hotel staff who took his order informed him that his food will be ready in around 20 minutes. Good. Plenty of time to track his schedule for today and not think about you. (So much for a distraction.)
As it turns out, his itinerary for today is not packed with work schedule. Namjoon had only written ‘Explore’ along with a note to bring the camera noona who usually follows Jeongguk around to film all of his adventures as an idol. Said “adventure” is typically limited to dressing rooms of music shows, though. Oh, maybe Namjoon wants him to stroll around the city and make a vlog out of it, give his fans a little peek of what he does in his down time in New York.
In order to do that, he has to shower, get dressed, and maybe get his makeup done. He definitely needs to get his hair done, though, there’s no way he’s going out with this bird nest atop his head. Or maybe he could go natural, let his hair breathe for the day. Namjoon said it makes him look like a college boyfriend, and apparently, his fans love the look. Throw some hoodie and jeans on, and Jeongguk would be ready to go to class with you.
Ah, you again.
His mindless scrolling on Twitter in procrastination halts, the words on his phone not registering as his mind goes back to you. What would it feel like to go to class with you? To watch your focused face in class, trying to absorb knowledge from the professor? To be there next to you, answer your question whenever you struggle to grasp a concept? To be your college boy—
A knock on his door interrupts his thoughts.
Jeongguk stills, waits for the shout of room service! to follow, but it never comes. The clock on his phone tells him it’s only been 10 minutes since he ordered breakfast, so maybe it’s not room service after all. Maybe it’s a staff member, coming to tell him to get ready for the day.
As Jeongguk makes his way to the door, come some more knocks, this time more tentative than the one prior. Before he could reach the door, the person on the other side speaks.
“Jeongguk..?” It sounds muffled by the door, but the voice rings familiar in his ears. It’s the voice he last heard almost two days ago, via a video call connection between New York and Seoul. Could it be? No, it couldn’t … right?
Jeongguk’s eyes are right in front of the peephole just as the voice sounds again: “It’s me, Bun…”
There, in front of his hotel door, stands a girl 15 centimeters shorter than him, dressed in black jeans and her favorite sage green sweater, with a lump of black fabric hanging off her left arm. A faded black baseball cap sits on her head, so faded it looks almost navy. When she finally looks up to peek at the peephole, Jeongguk loses his breath.
It’s you. It’s really you.
Jeongguk is so stunned that he’s frozen in place, just staring at your confused expression that slowly morphs into one of anxiety.
“Did Namjoon give me the wrong room number..?” you mumble, fishing your phone out of your pocket.
Jeongguk has never yanked a door open that hard in his life.
You tear your eyes away from your phone, jumping in surprise at the sudden movement. His eyes lock with yours, and the shock on your face melts into a smile.
“Hi!”
You’re obviously exhausted, having just got off a 14-hour flight from Seoul, moving 13 timezones backward, seeing the sun when you’re supposed to see the moon. But the way you beam at him is full of glee, your eyes bright despite the obvious fatigue. Jeongguk is mesmerized.
Wordlessly, he reaches for your shoulders to pull you into a hug. They feel more prominent than the last time he hugged you, and he doesn’t know whether it’s from your haphazard eating schedule or just … time. He doesn’t remember when he last gave you a hug. Doesn’t remember the last time he saw you in the flesh like this.
“You just woke up, didn’t you?” you say from somewhere near his collarbone.
“Maybe,” Jeongguk mumbles. “Maybe not. I feel like I’m still dreaming.”
“Up in the clouds, are we?” you chuckle. “Well, if you’re done dreaming then maybe we could come in? Backpack’s starting to hurt my shoulders.”
It’s right at that second that Jeongguk just realizes the huge backpack hanging off your small frame. The poor bag is bursting at the seams, like it’s gonna comically explode if you even try to unzip it. Jeongguk closes his fingers around the small handle on top, testing the weight.
“Did you fit your whole life into this? Why is it so heavy?” he complains, immediately untangling your arms from his body so he can slide the backpack off you and onto him instead. “I feel like I’m about to do the 20 kilometers march in the military.”
“Hah! Try navigating JFK with that on your shoulders. It’s way harder than the military,” you huff, following Jeongguk into his hotel room.
He sets your backpack down on one of the couches, turning around to get answers to a thousand questions in his head, but pauses when he sees you’re still standing by the door. Your eyes are scanning the room slowly, stopping at Jeongguk to look at him with an unreadable expression on your face.
“What?” Jeongguk says.
“It’s huge,” you say. “The room, I mean. They usually are in your vlogs, but it’s different seeing it in person.”
This could turn into another conversation about their differences quickly, but Jeongguk is not in the mood to deal with distance today. For once, you’re an arms-length away from him. He doesn’t want to fuck this up and send you back to KST, 13 timezones away.
“Eh, I think your backpack is bigger.” He shrugs. Safe route, for now. “What do you have inside that bag, really?”
“My brick ass laptop, thank you,” you say sarcastically, finally going deeper into the room just to give your backpack a protective hug. “Still have a midterm to finish and submit here.”
“You still have midterms and you’re here in New York?” Jeongguk gapes. “Why?”
“Because you asked me to be here,” you state like it’s obvious. “Well, not like that, but you looked so sad on our last video call that I booked a flight here as soon as we hung up the call. Didn’t really realize the weight of it until I was watching your performance with Yeseo and I blurted out that I bought a ticket to New York and how maybe it was a stupid thing to do on a whim like that. She looked at me like I was stupid and said I should totally go. So. Here I am.”
If selective hearing is a sin, then Jeongguk would be guilty because he heard nothing beyond the part where you said you were watching his performance.
“You watched my performance?” He parrots his thoughts. “But you said you would have been asleep…”
“No sleep is worth my best friend’s sadness.” You throw him a small smile. “Actually, Yeseo set an alarm for it. And then I went to have the midterm with a terrible headache because I didn’t get enough sleep. But it’s worth it, the performance was amazing. You did great on that stage.”
“I did great…?”
At this point, Jeon Jeongguk should change his name to Parrot Jeongguk, because all he ever does is just repeat things he heard. First his thoughts, now you.
“Yes, of course you did great, Jeongguk. Wasn’t it obvious, the way your fans were screaming their lungs out for you?”
I only wanted to hear it from you, Jeongguk thinks. The media headlines and praises from the radio hosts and interviewers flash in his mind, all positive feedback for his performance, yet still planted a seed of doubt in his mind. It caused an ugly darkness to settle in his mind, one that worsened with every call you didn’t pick up.
“Why’d you ghost me, then?”
Way to ruin this moment, Jeon Jeongguk.
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. Between catching up on sleep and rushing for the flight, I just didn’t have the time to look at my phone at all. Also, I was on the plane? It takes a long time to get here from Korea if you didn’t know.”
“So it’s not because my performance is bad?”
You get up from your position on the couch to grip him on the shoulders, your nails digging into the material of his t-shirt. You have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes, but you hold his gaze firmly like the position doesn’t hurt you at all.
“Jeon Jeongguk, listen to me. Your performance was great, you looked handsome, your singing was on-point, your high note was awesome, your dancing was super cool, and the crowd was really loud. I don’t know what kind of validation you seek, but I personally think everything about your performance was perfect.”
Yours. I only want your validation.
Slowly, the darkness in his mind begins to disperse, replaced by this warm beam of light piercing through the clouds. It settles in his mind like a blanket, protecting him from any more bad thoughts. He thinks it’s because of you, bringing light wherever you go. Can that light be shared with him? Will he glow from the inside out if he connects his lips with yours? Why does he want to lock lips with you?
“Jeongguk, are you okay? You look like you’re floating in the clouds again.”
Yeah. No. I want to press my lips against yours. Can I?
Three knocks sound from the door. And then: room service!
Jeongguk clears his throat (and his mind along with it.)
“Do you want to explore New York with me after we have breakfast?”
Jeongguk might want more, and he might be ready to admit it. After all, the light to his darkness is here. If not now, then when?
“Sure, it’ll be a fun best friend adventure!”
…maybe some other time.
a/n: thank you for reading! i'm planning to have a part 3 of this but let's see if i can actually find the time to write it ahah
#bts#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#fanfic#fic#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts au#bts college au#jungkook college au#jungkook drabble#jungkook oneshot#jungkook au#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook angst
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Toothache
How does one go "You're Too Sweet For Me" to "My Baby's Sweet As Can Be"?
Synopsis: Simon Riley finds himself stuck in a situation, growing feelings for his roommate who's so annoyingly caring, domestic, sweet and too good for him. What happens when he let's himself indulge in the sweetness rather than cage himself in the bitter life he's been told is the only one he's deserving of and the only life he's known?
Apologies to this mess of a lyricfic, I couldn't help it even though this was supposed to be a relationship analysis..
MEN WRITTEN BY ANA HUANG ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. Alright back to our original programmed schedule with Hozier. ALSO SURPRISE! THIS CONTAINS 3 HOZIER SONGS as an apology for not posting these past two weeks due to me enjoying holidays, reading, prom dress picking and wanting to stab myself because of life, there's the added bonus 👀
My CoD Masterlist
My Simon Riley x You Playlist
Also reader in this one had a lot of characterization, she's me fr, so AFAB?Reader, Fem!Reader, Short!Reader, Reader is VERY feminine with fashion, soft-girl-sunshine!Reader and Chubby?Reader. Y'all have no idea how hard it is to write without a personality and physical intimacy in romance, I tried but failed 😭
Warnings and Disclaimers: Mentions and details on sexual content ahead (is this considered smut? Idk anymore). Not detailed smut but vivid memories of sexual intercourse (especially the dialogue) with Simon. Again, this is a safe account for all ages because I'm not a MDNI acc, you are responsible for your own media consumption. DO NOT GO ON MY DMS, INBOX OR REPLY TO MY CONTENT TO TELL ME YOUR AGE. I don't need to know that and let's strive to not make each other uncomfortable. Mentions of questioning of religion or rather belief on afterlife??
Pink, bold and italic: Lyrics
Italic: recalling past events
Little snippet of an image of how I imagined he'd hold you, courtesy of the one and only @ave661
"It can't be said I'm an early bird, it's 10 o'clock before I say a word. Baby, I can never tell, how do you sleep so well?"
Simon Riley was never a man to live the life he was taught to in the military, it was out of habit for him to not leave his room until around noon. Then there was you, his roommate, he didn't exactly calculate how much it would affect his personal life to save money through rent by willingly letting someone within the same living space.
He'd find himself with not even a wink of sleep, hearing your footsteps through the thin walls, hearing the lock on the windows outside click open.
"You kept telling me to live right, to go to bed before the daylight. But then you wake up from the sunrise."
He'd always hear you, quite frankly it was like nagging on the constant.
"Simon you shouldn't do that, you'll hurt yourself"
"Simon please go get some rest"
"Simon.."
He'd swear he'd rip his own ears out every time his name falls from your lips from how sweet and chirpy it sounded and yet deafening silence would consume him whenever you aren't around.
"You don't gotta pretended, Baby, now and then. Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake? Smellin' lika bonfire, lost in the haze?"
Something about you makes it so tempting for Simon to give in, I mean it would be a one time thing, wouldn't it? So soft, so pliant, he set himself up for an addiction. It wasn't healthy, he knew this, he'd convince himself of the fact that he would end up hurting you.
Just too different, it repeated like a mantra in his head. He was bitter, brooding and didn't find any sense of pleasure in living. Why'd you think he has the job he chose? It's all he knew, till you skip your way into his life, giving him the sweetness he was deprived of.
"If you're drunk on life babe, I think it's great. But while in this world, I think I'll take my whiskey neat"
Drowning himself in alcohol, a trait Simon promised himself he wouldn't ever do when he was young, setting his glass down with a small thud from the wooden table. But what would the kid version of him know about life. He didn't have healthier options of coping with what seems to be his dilemma.
But then there you were, sweet little thing coming home at the late hour in that skimpy dress of yours. Revealing too much to the eyes of those who wish to have you for themselves with just one look. Where did you go that night?
"My coffee black in my bed at three, you're too sweet for me"
Desperately trying to keep himself awake and at bay from his thoughts of you. Drowning himself in now two cups of straight black coffee to help him focus.
It was odd, you got used to the scent, was strong with a lack of sweetness but it calmed you down knowing he was around.
How he'd corrupt you, he wanted to shatter that rose tinted glasses of yours to save you from himself because being with him would change you. Selfish but he doesn't want that, you were utter perfection..
Simon further delved into his feelings, what the fuck was wrong with him?
"I aim low. I aim true, and the ground's where I go. I work late where I'm free from the phone and the job gets done"
Grumbling, Simon walks back into the apartment in the middle of the night. You heard a thud, you come out of your bedroom, yawing from you incomplete sleep.
"Si..? Are you hurt? What happened?" You asked in a soft tone, careful not to agitate someone would could possibly be pissed off.
Simon stays silent, glaring at you as his eyes was only thing visible because of his balaclava. Your soft gaze intimidated him, because why would he feel that squeeze in his heart?
"But you worry some, I know but who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate. The rest of you like you're the TSA, I wish I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong..."
The only thing Simon heard was a sigh from you and nothing more, you walk up to him, each footstep feeling louder than that last.
Something Simon didn't expect you to do was wrap you arms around his waist, tiny thing you are that your head only goes up to his chest. Your body against his, basking in the warmth in contrast to the cold weather he had to deal with coming home.
"You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. If you can sit in a barrel maybe I'll wait, until that day.."
You took care of him that night, to his reluctance and stubbornness. Despite refusing, he had no choice, he wouldn't want a soft thing like you on his ear the whole night till he agrees. You were persuasive in your own irritating way.
Sitting on the edge of the tub of the warm bath he's in, washcloth in hand. Touch was so gentle, why was it so soft? Why's it so warm? "It's the water you fucking idiot" his subconscious screaming at him. In denial.
Why is his heart beating so fast..? He wants to stab it to stop the feeling..
"I'd rather take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. You're too sweet for me"
Using both your hands this time around, one gently holding his chin with your fingers while the other wiping away at the eyeblack he had. Every scar on his face felt the graze of your finger.
The slow blinks, your eyes on his. Before any conscious thoughts consume Simon, he lifts his arms from the warm water and wraps them around you.
Your nightgown was now damp but you couldn't care less, now with the man you were pinning over, foreheads against the other.
"Si.." you softly whisper. That nickname will be the death of him, you'll be the death of him. He crashes his lips on yours, not wanting to let go till you both were panting. You were too fucking sweet, your lips, your skin, everything. He wanted a taste and he got it...
"My lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner"
Another sleepless night wasn't uncommon for someone like Simon.. however this aching feeling wasn't, he doesn't know where it's from or what it's about. Not until he heard you in the kitchen, letting out a giggle even though you knew better.
"If the Heavens ever did speak, She's the last true mouthpiece. Every Sunday's getting more bleak. A fresh poison each week "We were born sick"
That sweet fucking voice, like the angels speaking to him themselves. "Oh- I'm sorry Si, did I wake you up?" You asked, turning around to the sound of his footsteps.
That tiny nightdress of yours, a reminder of the night you spent together, that morning you slept in his bed.
Lashes beautifully displayed on the delicate skin of your under eyes. Soft noises while your chest was peacefully moving up and down with every breath.
"She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom". The only Heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well. A, Amen, Amen, Amen"
"Simon.. Ahh~" you moan out softly, your body writhing underneath him. It felt hot, sweaty despite the well ventilated room, so intimate from something that was supposed to be the farthest thing from domestic.
"Shhh, you can take it sunshine.. You don't want the neighbors to hear us, do you?" Simon whispers, callous hand covering your mouth with as little pressure possible, you whimper at his words.
Closing your eyes to lose yourself in the pleasure you've never felt before. Your body being worshiped with gentle hands and soft kisses that leave marks by the very same man who kept distancing himself from you, now he'd stop at nothing for your pleasure.
"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life."
"Simon.. no more–" you whined. Scratching his back hard enough to leave marks without being aware, he'd always imagine what those pretty pink nails could do to him.
"Just one more, please sunshine.. you remember our safe word right?" Simon asks for you to nod softly, you didn't have energy to take anymore. "I told you I'll make you feel good, didn't I? So be a good girl for me and take it, hmm?"
Your eyes roll back at his praise, your legs shake with one after another wave of pleasure running through your body. This man was starved.. insatiable.. who would be able to resist such a request? Not you.
"If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight to keep the Goddess on my side. She demands a sacrifice, drain the whole sea, get something shiny"
It took everything in Simon not to worship the ground you walked on that night, he wasn't trying very hard, was he? Because always.. at the end of the night, you're in his bed, his mind, his life.
Was it really a sin? To want something you don't deserve? Simon stayed up that whole night, not a wink of sleep while thinking of whether this arrangement should continue. Every bone and organ in his body telling him to be selfish, take what was something that wasn't his to take.
"Something meaty for the main course, that's a fine looking high horse. What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful that looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work"
Simon's gaze, never faltering on your sleeping figure that he refuses to go anywhere but his own arms. He tries to close his eye to compose himself, free himself from the emotions you emit from him.
His efforts were to no use, all he saw was the image of you, sweetly smiling, those doe eye staring right through his soul.
"No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness, in the soil of that sad earthly scene. Only then I am human, only then I am clean"
You were getting too close for your own good, Simon knew that, he'll be damned if he let's himself hurt you. So he does what any stupid man would do, avoid you like the plague. Did it mean nothing? Were you just some fling, never to be talked about again?
Fuck you Simon Riley, he made you feel loved in bed like no man ever has or ever will, completely ruining your chance of ever thinking of anything else and that was just a hook-up session? Maybe this one time you can let yourself be delusional, was there really something more? Only one way to find out.
"Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen, Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life"
You caught him, fucking finally, after days of waiting and trying to get him at the perfect time. "Si.." you whispered softly, you didn't know where to start. He took a quick glance at you before looking back at what he was doing.
"Simon Riley, don't fucking ignore me. Not after everything that happened those nights" You said, it was stern but he needed to hear it. It made him stop, think about what had happened.
Before he could generate a response, "Why?" You asked. It was a vague question, why was he ignoring you? Why does he feel this way? Why does he love you yet refuse to act on it?
"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life.."
"You don't deserve a man like me, you deserve one who is like you, optimistic, sweet, fucking beautiful and alive.. A man who's not damaged, scarred, has blood on his hands and haunted by his past. A man who's not afraid to show his love for you. A man who won't put his burdens on your shoulders and a man who will take care of you instead of the other way around. That's what you deserve and I can't give that"
Everything felt like it came to a stop, were you hearing that right?
"You have no idea how much you contradict yourself, Si. How are you so sure that you haven't given those things to me already? You might not be like me but "like me" isn't what I want.. I want you, every flaw, every beautiful scar. Not once before your silent treatment have you hurt me, it's frustrating yes, but you are worthy of that. Every struggle, frustration and mistake, every bit of your love is worth all of that. I want you to see that Si, your actual true worth rather than what some psychotic fucker decided to torture you with"
"Boys, workin' on empty. Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby, I'm so full of love I could barely eat"
"Si?"
"Yes, Sunshine?"
"I love you" You whispered after smothering him in a plethora of kisses. Never has anything made Simon melt more in his life than his wife say that. Doesn't matter how long it's been, how much the both of you have been through or how much frustration the both of you were going through..
It will always stay the same, the feeling those three words give him, like the first time, every moment feels that way. Familiar, finally.. Home.
"There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree. 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be, she give me toothaches just from kissin' me"
He always thought about how unfaithfulness was such a struggle between some people, he thought about how good he has it constantly, reflecting back on what he used to have to how now this is something he never thought he'd have or deserve.
"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"
When a man finds himself in the verge of embracing death's arms, what causes the struggle? What causes him to fight that pain, to keep on going? Not once has this crossed Ghost's mind.
No. He's not Ghost, he's Simon. Your Simon.
And you're expecting your Simon home, fuck everything else, he'll give the biggest "fuck you" to death itself and crawl home to you because he'll be damned and he'll experience everything he has in his life over and over again just to hold you again.
"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin, I woke with her walls around me. Nothin' in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did."
It should matter, the amount of blood on his hands. Not once did you judge him for it, what the fuck was wrong with you? Giving a monster such as him a bath like he was some innocent stray kitten, although this time around it was far more messy. The dried blood caked underneath his finger nails.
Flashing him a tired smile while you wiped off the blood that made the water in the tub a hue of brownish-red. Taking your hand in his, his lips brushing against your knuckles. The way you looked at him was enough to make him cry.
"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"
"Fucking get up" Simon repeats to himself, "She needs you, she loves you" despite how many times he's convinced himself you didn't due to the voice of his father in his head, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart imagining how it would be for you without him.
How much you cried the night he came home a day later, you told him yourself, practically sobbing while clutching your aching chest and him with your other arm how you weren't ready for Price to show up at your doorsteps holding Simon's belongings.
He won't let that happen.. he can't...
"My babe would never fret none, about what my hands and my body done. If the Lord don't forgive me, I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me"
Simon knew it, no one would ever love him like you do. No one would show him the same acceptance, devotion, care, concern and love. It wasn't healthy to be so attached dependently to someone in love.
He couldn't help it, it felt so right, everything with you did. Never a judgmental one, at least towards him. Always first to hold him, the first to ever take away the heavy guilt that weighed his heart and shoulders down after he'd done something he knows he'll go to hell for, if it's even real
"When I was kissing on my baby and she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free. Heaven and hell were words to me"
Every inch was kissed, not a part wasn't worshiped. "So fuckin' beautiful, so sweet. All for me, hmm?" Simon mumbled against your skin, suckling on the soft sweetness that he so claims. All hickeys, no bruises.
Fuck, he'd not just survive but thrive on just you. No other sustenance, your supple thighs he adores to cover in purple, your neck, your lips and your skin that he often compares to sugar syrup in his head.
"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"
The question was, was it worth it to live an eternity of lifetimes filled with suffer to be with you in at least once? The only answer to ever graze Simon Riley's lips was the word "yes", the day that changes is the day that he'd be the biggest bull-shiter the world has ever known.
Simon opened the door to your shared home, "Daddy!" A loud squeal wakes him up from his dread of what he's seen on the field.
"How's my little sunshine been? 'Ave you been good to your momma while I was gone?" Simon asked, carrying the little girl in his arms.
"Yes! Momma said we'd go to the park tomorrow as a reward for me helping out!" Little one saying it so proudly, Simon couldn't help but smile, beaming with pride as his little girl grows up to be what he recognizes as a good person.
"Simon..? You're finally home, I missed you so much" You said, peeking out the laundry room. You walked out, quick to give him a peck on the lips.
"I love you Si.."
"I love you too Sunshine"
Also this is a very long fic.. I expect long feedback.. @connorsui 👀
Does this make sense? Idk anymore it's like almost midnight and I'm running on a few hours of sleep. GOD MY PROM DRESS LOOKS SO GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT.
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo
Trying out new dividers as well by @anitalenia
#cod x reader#aethelwyne lia writes#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#cod headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x you#simon riley x plus size reader#simon riley x y/n#simon ghost x you#simon ghost smut#simon riley#simon riley call of duty#simon ghost riley smut#ghost x plus size reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x y/n#simon ghost fluff#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#simon ghost#simon riley cod#simon ghost riley drabble#cod fanfic#cod fluff
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🎲🖤 Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes 🎲🖤
Writing a little fic about the reader joining Hellfire after being kicked out of the original D&D group she's in, for reasons *cough (sexist arseholes)* and Eddie is literally in love with this feisty lady who interrupts the latest Hellfire campaign and asks to join the group, who's planned campaigns involving Vecna and has no trouble arguing with him if he's being a dick. (The latter might be in part two if people are interested)
Vecna who's Vecna? Eddie is alive and thriving in this fic. Also, I'm not 100% well-versed in D&D but I am learning, if I do part two I hope to include more into the plot.
The title is lyrics from Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift 💞
💞
"You can't just kick me out of the group," you say fuming as Ethan looks at you with pity.
"I'm the Dungeon Master so technically I can, the guys just think that you take playing a little less seriously than the rest of us" he lies straight to your face and the anger that is bubbling up inside of you threatens to explode.
"What! I literally built the last three campaigns because you couldn't come up with anything, I came up with the plan to defeat Vecna and...you glare at him, this is what it's about isn't it. You hate that I can come up with the ideas for campaigns and because I'm good at the game. Of all the idiotic, sexist bullshit...
Ethan blushes. "Look, I want to see if Eddie would let me and the guys join Hellfire and maybe he might let me DM sometimes but if he finds out that you helped make up most of them well...
So you're kicking me out to save yourself the apparent humiliation of a girl being better at D&D than you are" he flushes pink and glares at you.
"Whatever. We'll be fine without you. Good riddance" he storms off by that point leaving you alone and tearful. You're just so pissed that you have to leave the group, leave something you love playing.
There's a gentle pressure on your shoulder and you find Robin looking at you concerned. "What was that about? Did he do something to hurt you? I could ask Steve to kick his ass, unless you want to kick his ass yourself which is great and all and...
She stops talking when she sees one silent tear run down your cheek which you wipe away furiously, nope you will not cry because of that gargoyle Ethan.
"Robin breathe, and yeah I'm okay. I mean I will be" you explain everything that happened and by the end Robin is as angry as you are.
"He can't just kick you out, what a douchebag, how exactly is he going to explain away the fact he has no amazing ideas for campaigns without you there?
You should talk to Eddie and join Hellfire yourself, he's actually a nice guy well according to the Steve's child/brother friend. The dingus is jealous of Eddie which is kind of sweet and hilarious..." She cuts off her rant at the growing smile on your face.
"Oh no, I know that look" you grin widens and you link arms with Robin. Yes you'll join Eddie and expose Ethan for the slimy ass that he is.
❤️
With the idea in mind you decide to ask Eddie before Hellfire starts but instead find yourself walking into a session which is in full swing. Well shit. Way to make a good impression...
Eddie stops talking, he's in the middle of the campaign, just at the part where a group of rogue trolls have invaded the party and turned the gathering of friends at a tavern into a fight for survival.
"Yes... Uh cheerleader tryouts are the other way sweetheart" You scoff and raise your eyebrows at him.
"Do I look like a cheerleader to you? I'm sorry to interrupt. I wanted to catch you before you started the session, I was wondering if I could join Hellfire?"
You know Jeff from being in drama with him and he's the first to say, "Uh aren't you in that group with Ethan and George?" You shake your head.
"I was. Until they kicked me out" Eddie's big brown eyes widened and the annoyed expression was wiped from his face, he ignored the complaints of some of the freshmen and motioned you to explain.
"Ethan kicked me out because he's an arrogant, sexist troll" one of the freshmen groans and gestures widely to Eddie.
"Dude, can we hurry up and continue with the session" Eddie holds a hand up to quieten him and stares at you his eyes filled with grudging curiosity.
"Why did he kick you out?" You frown and the anger returns at Ethan and his betrayal.
"Because he wants to join up with you and impress you with his amazing DM skills which are a load of shit. He didn't even organise the last three campaigns, I did. He liked to use all of my ideas but won't have me blow his chances of pretending he's something he isn't" there's silence and Eddie looks impressed.
There's also something else in his expression that makes your stomach feel like it's doing somersaults but you can examine that later.
"So you're here to join instead before the little weasel does. Beat him at his own game huh sweetheart?" you nod and he smiles, all dimples.
"Well yeah basically, I love D&D but I also want to annoy the hell out of the asshole as well, he's just pissed that I came up with a campaign for Vecna and doesn't want me showing you how much he doesn't do for his own group" you finish your rant and wait for his answer.
Eddie's smiling by the end of your rant and gestures you over to the group.
"I like you, you can sit in and watch this session because we're more than halfway through but I'm happy for you to join the group and our next meeting. You can tell me about your stats and character after the session is over"
Thrilled you walk over to the table and Eddie barks at one of the guys to move so you're standing right beside him.
It was so not time for your heart to be doing its own version of a mini-marathon at the mere sight of Eddie's big brown eyes capturing yours. Fuck, you did not have time for whatever this was. You were here to battle dragons, defeat trolls (in real life as well) and be a badass.
Crushing on Eddie Munson would have to wait.
❤️
Eddie is definitely planning on killing Wheeler's character in the next session. He glares as Mini Wheeler finishes his rant about last night.
"You know it's so gross the way you were mooning over her all night right? Make it more obvious that you have a crush on her dude" he whines and Eddie scowls which seems to snap Mike out of his constant whining.
"I was not mooning Wheeler. I was impressed with the way she knew what she wanted and went for it, she will be a valuable asset to Hellfire"
Gareth hides a laugh as he continues eating and Eddie redirects his glare to his friend. "Anything to say Gareth the Great?" Gareth stops laughing at once but still looks amused.
"Dude, you were totally mooning over her, I think someone's in love" Eddie can feel the heat rise on his cheeks and scoffs, how dare Gareth make such an idiotic assumption.
"Love? I don't believe in love dude. This heart is far too cynical for any of that shit. I was just intrigued that's all" he's ready to fully rant when he sees you and his heart skips a beat, argument dying in his throat and his knees turn to jelly.
"Yeah be more obvious Munson" Jeff sniggers which causes Gareth to nearly choke on his sandwich.
Okay, scratch that. He's killing Gareth and Jeff's characters too.
💞
As you walk into the cafeteria the next day you avoid your usual table and head straight for Hellfire.
You wave cheerily over at Ethan and the guys and smirk at their thunderous expressions. Eddie snorts but when you look at him there's no trace of his previous amusement as he mentions the next Hellfire session will be tomorrow.
You're distracted by Ethan glowering in your direction, his arms folded as he snaps at Dean. There's a soft pressure on your hand and you look down to find Eddie's hand touching yours, it gets your attention immediately.
"We can go over your character tonight yeah? There's a spark between the two of you, it lingers in the air and your heart kicks up a notch as Eddie lets out a little groan.
He clears his throat and moves his hand away, you hide how flustered you are as he begins to talk about the new campaign but every so often his gaze meets yours and the same level of intrigue is in his gaze as you feel for him.
💞
"Lady Emmeline is an elven princess who ran away from her duties when her parents tried to marry her off to a vile prince, she's proficient with a bow and arrow but her real talent is swordsmanship, she's intelligent, brave and bold but can be impulsive and hotheaded if provoked" you read out to Eddie who nods.
"Was she your character in your old D&D group?" Eddie asks and you nod, leaning closer to him as he pulls out his notebook. It's chock-full of ideas for campaigns and drawings, being so near Eddie is playing havoc with your concentration.
He smells like leather, the faintest hint of smoke and whatever cologne he's using. It's woody and smells divine. The softness of his usually loud voice and his big Bambi eyes are distracting. It wouldn't bother you so much or at least you'd try to avoid it but the way you catch Eddie looking at you sometimes makes you melt.
It's ridiculous because you've never felt this way before about anybody but now it's happened it's overwhelming and intense.
"Nice tattoo" you murmur and he smiles as you nod to the bats and the Wyvern. "I have more" he pulls down his Hellfire shirt and you can see a black widow spider and a glimpse of a demon.
Very gently you trace a finger over one of the bats on his forearm, Eddie's breath hitches and you curse yourself for possibly freaking him out. "Sorry," you murmur and chance a peek at his expression. It's filled with longing.
"Don't be sorry princess" he's hesitant at first but then after a moment you feel his fingers trace soft patterns over your hand. The feel of his fingers on your skin is amazing and it makes you shiver in a good way.
His eyes drop down to your lips and the two of you move closer instinctively until you're both mere inches apart.
And that's when Dustin barrels in speaking a mile a minute and you and Eddie jump apart at the interruption.
Fuck.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson#eddie munson x female reader
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•Midnight sessions & Love Confessions🌙🤍•
Genre: Fluff, best friends to lovers, flirting, slight sass on Chan’s part, cursing (very minimal) Idol!HanxReader
Words: 1.6K
A/N: This is my first time writing again in almost 5 years... Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this as much as I did!! If you guys want to see more of this please reblog/like the post or if you have any feedback please DM me!!
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*
“Okay Y/N, that was good but do you think you can sound like you're actually in love? You know, like how you are in love with Jisung.”
You glare at Chan while you mouth the words “Fuck you” to him. As Chan and Binnie start laughing at you as you simply roll your eyes. The boys have been teasing you about your crush on Jisung, the other 1/3 of the 3racha, for a while now. They accidentally found out about your feelings for him a few months ago during one of your usual movie nights at your place. Since then, they have been either making jokes or pushing you to confess your feelings to him. However, you have always refused, thinking that he doesn't feel the same way and you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship with him. After all, Jisung has been your best friend for years and you both have been inseparable since you debuted together. You walk out of the booth frustrated and sat on the couch. Chan and Binnie at the same time turned their chairs around to face you. It was already 12:30 AM and you were exhausted.
“Why can’t you give this part to Lee Know or Seungmin, they can sing this better than I can anyway,” you say stubbornly, closing your eyes for a few seconds.
"Because I had you in mind to sing the girl's response to this love song, Y/n. Plus, Bin and I have been wanting you to sing this for the past year now. We've even discussed having you as our featured artist for this album so you really can't back out now princess," Chan responded with a smile.
You couldn't really argue with Chan about this because he brings up a good point. You and the boys have been begging management for a song collaboration for years, and as soon as they agreed, you all teased the collaboration to your respective fanbases. Scrapping it now would be a waste of time and bad from a publicity standpoint. Knowing you had no way out of this session for at least tonight, you groaned as you stood up back up from the couch and walked back into the booth, grabbing on the headphones that rested on the mic. Once you had the headphones situated properly and the lyrics in front of you, you look at Binnie for the next instructions.
“Okay Y/n, start from the top of the second verse until you reach the bridge. Remember, try to sing this as if you're falling in love. Put lots of emotion into this bunny,”
You nod while Chan signals to Binnie to hit the record button. The instrumentals start playing as you take a deep breath, closing your eyes, and trying to mimic the feeling of being in love. Instantly, you pictured Jisung in front of you, smiling ear to ear as he cheers you on from the other side. You couldn’t help but crack open a soft smile as memories of the two of you played in your mind. You start to recall all the times he saved you from bad blind dates and all the all-nighters you both would pull just because you both got heavily attached to some anime series that was 10 years old. You continued to sing into the mic, putting all the emotions you were feeling into it and not missing a beat. This was something you didn’t do in your first couple of recordings. You were so deep into your feelings, channeling that feeling of being in love, that you didn’t even realize you were hitting all of the high notes in the bridge that Chan originally took out because you couldn’t hit them. Once the music starts to fade away, the memories of Jisung and you fade away too. You slowly open your eyes to see not only Chris and Binnie smiling at you, but Jisung was also in the room, staring at you in amazement. He pushes Chris over to the side and speaks into the mic.
“Damn Y/n that was absolutely fucking amazing!! Who knew you had that in you, Angel.”
Angel... He just called you angel. He’s only ever called you Bubba or Bubbles but never Angel... You feel your face turning red as you quickly put the headphones back down on the mic and walk out of the booth.
Ignoring that you are blushing over this new nickname, Jisung attacks you in a hug as he whispers in your ear about how beautiful you sounded in your recording. When did Ji sneak in? Did the boys text him to come sit in as you sang? Did he see you blush when he called you angel? You were so deep into thought trying to figure out what just happened, that you didn’t hear Chan talking to you.
“Earth to Y/nnnn, did you hear anything I just said.”
“Huh, no sorry what did you say Channie?” You let go of Jisung's embrace, and as you turn to face Chan, you see him smirking. Unlike Jisung, he could tell you were clearly blushing over the compliments you were receiving.
“I said I think we finally got our take. If you want, you can go home for the night since I know it’s getting late, and we can play it back first thing in the morning for you.”
Sighing in relief, you agree while you pack up your things. You thank the boys for having to spend/ deal with you the last few hours, telling them you will see them in the morning, and start to walk out of the room when Jisung stops you.
“Y/n wait up!” He grabs you by the arm, spinning you around.
“Here let me take you home, it’s late and cold out.”
“Oh Ji, I don’t want to bother you with that! I was planning to Uber home anyway.”
“Well, luckily you aren’t bothering me with asking since I am also the one offering. Plus it is my civil duty as your best friend, so I am taking you home and that's final. Now come on, Angel.”
He interlocks his hand into yours as you both walk out of the company building and go to his car. You couldn’t help but look down as you try to contain your smile though this is something the both of you usually do consistently. Jisung walks up to the passenger's side of his car and opens it for you, bowing down and signaling for you to hop in. You giggle at his silly gesture as you playfully curtsey back to him and get in. It’s moments like these you can’t help but fall more in love with him. He closes your door and quickly runs over to his side of the car, turning it on. He puts on some random playlist and he puts the car in drive.
“Alrighty, off to your house.”
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*
After 10 minutes of listening to music in silence, you finally arrived at your apartment building. You could see from above your sister’s lights were still on which means she was still up playing video games with Felix and I.N. As you turned to face Jisung, thanking him for the ride home, you noticed he was already facing you, softly smiling.
"I know I said this earlier at the studio in front of the boys, but I really meant it when I said you really killed it with the song, Y/n. I can seriously listen to you sing all day."
That compliment made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't believe what you just heard. Although you are very talented and often hear comments like that from fans, there was something different about hearing it come from Jisung. It made you feel all bubbly inside as if you had butterflies fluttering everywhere.
"I am being 100 percent honest, Y/n. Hearing you sing with such passion and emotion, I would be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with your voice. I mean, I am already in love wit--" Jisung stops speaking as he covers his mouth and quickly looks down.
You look at him, taking a moment to process what was just said. Han Jisung, your best friend and long-time crush, has unintentionally confessed his love for you. Now the car is now truly silent as the music stops playing. With some newfound confidence, you reach over and gently lift his chin. He looks at you with red cheeks, clearly embarrassed, and tries to avoid your eye contact. You couldn’t help but smile as you finally, say the words he's been longing to hear.
“I am in love with you too Ji.”
Jisung grabs your face and kisses you passionately, and within seconds, you feel a rush of sparks running through your body. It's the answer you've been waiting for after years of not knowing. As Jisung pulls away, he places his forehead against yours.
“I've been waiting to do that since we first met, Angel.”
“I’ve been waiting for the same thing Ji.” You smile at him as you kiss him again.
After that night, the two of you officially became a couple. The boys were ecstatic to learn that you both had finally confessed your feelings to each other after almost a year of teasing. You also later find out that Jisung had actually written the song that had become a global #1 hit as a confession of his feelings towards you, not Chan and Binnie as you had initially thought.
So not only do you have the #1 love song trending worldwide, but you also got the best boyfriend by your side.
#straykids smau#straykids fluff#han jisung#han x reader#straykids imagines#stray kids#skz x reader#skz fluff#skz scenarios#skz han#skz 3racha#skz stay#skz imagines#skz fanfic#skz x y/n#stray kids x you
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𝜗❀᧓ ۟ 𝑹𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝓛𝐨𝐯𝐞 — 𝗮 𝗸𝗽𝗼𝗽 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗯𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁.
blend the excitement of k-pop with the dreamy world of shoujo manga/anime. make boards and pair your idol with your favorite shoujo character!
🐇 ✹ 𓈒 ꒪ 𝓗𝐎𝐖 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒!
𓏲 comment join, reblog this post and tag 3 of your friends. then dm me a pick-up line, 5 groups from the options i gave, and i’ll choose one of them for you! you can pick whichever member you want and which shoujo character you want. + make sure to add a song lyric of your choice in the locs. use the tag #i06gyu — roluv event and tag me in your post.
🐇 ✹ 𓈒 ꒪ 𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝐊-𝐏𝐎𝐏 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒!
𓏲 the k-pop groups options are: ive, newjeans, le sserafim, enhypen, txt, ill-it, aespa, twice, nmixx, stray kids, blackpink, red velvet, g-idol. pick 5 of these groups and don't forget to dm me it alongside your pick-up line.
🐇 ✹ 𓈒 ꒪ 𝓡𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓!
𓏲 you have to use a member from the group i have chosen for you. obviously, don't forget to add a shoujo character. you have to add lyrics from a song by the group. for example, here i used bubblegum by newjeans because the member i used was minji.
𓏲 use the tag #i06gyu — roluv event and tag me on your post. otherwise, it won't count as an entry.
𓏲 the due date is 30th November 2024. so you’ll have plenty of time to make the moodboard. outside the due date won't be accepted unless you dm me, and so I will make an exception.
𓏲 remember, i choose by which moodboard i think is prettiest. it is my opinion, therefore it isn't my fault if we may have different opinions. i promise you there will be no favoritism in this.
🐇 ✹ 𓈒 ꒪ 𝓟𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐄𝐓!
𓏲 for the 1st winner: 70 re-blogs on 15 posts. 3 custom moodboards. 3 png packs (a theme of their choice). 3 gif packs (a color of their choice).
𓏲 for the 2nd winner: 70 re-blogs on 10 posts. 2 custom moodboards. 2 png packs (a theme of their choice). 2 gif packs (a color of their choice).
𓏲 for the 3rd winner: 70 re-blogs on 5 posts. 1 custom moodboards. 1 png packs (a theme of their choice). 1 gif packs (a color of their choice).
𓏲 for participants (people who didn't win but already joined): 70 re-blogs on 1 post.
🐇 ✹ 𓈒 ꒪ 𝓔𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 𝚰𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑���𝐀𝐓𝚰𝐎𝐍!
𓏲 again, i will choose based on which one i think is prettiest. i will also choose based on how creative you are with it (gifs, edited pictures, etc).
𓏲 here are 2 examples: one. two. the 2nd one doesn't have a song lyric, please don't forget like me TT.
favorite blogs ♡ @flwerwon @jicito @p-eonias @bambicito @coqiito @y-ves @i-kyujin @7hyein @baekkku @umiena @menhpy @haerinism @hy6in @eliatopia @y0oni3 @raeceah @i04rei @fuckici @aiirene @h-jini @koogifs @chaeryeos @h-aeun @tyunlouv . . . . and many more! sadly most of them are now inactive :(
. ੭ꠥ 𓈒 ׄ first of all, thank you so so much for 450+ followers! it’s not much but i think it’s a lot since i always disappear every month 🫡 i love each & one of u, especially people who had supported my blog and keep me going. it's so sad that most of my mutuals here are already inactive, cause they are the one of the reasons why i love this app. shout out to my gf ruby who is the very reason why im even brave enough to start a moodboard blog xx 👩❤️💋👩 i hope i'll be better in the future and i am sincerely sorry if i ever made an action that has upsets you during the times ive been on this app so far.
#i06gyu — roluv event#kpop event#moodboard event#dont flop!!#shoujo#shojo#shojo manga#kpop#kpop moodboard#kpop gg#sawako moodboard#anime moodboard#gg moodboard#kpop layouts#gg layouts#messy moodboard#moodboard#aesthetic moodboard#alternative moodboard#unfiltered moodboard#clean moodboard#kpop icons#alt mb#random moodboard
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[Eng Subs DL] Musical Yuukoku no Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot) Op. 5 - "The Final Problem"
Hello, hello~! I am happy to finally share with you the finished English subtitles for MoriMyu Op. 5~
It took a lot longer for me to finish than I'd like to admit, but it is here, it is finished~ \(≧▽≦)/ Op. 5 covers chapters 48-56 (+67) of the manga or the last few episodes of the anime for those who followed along with that as well. As the title suggests, it is the penultimate of Sherlock and William's story. We've gone through a lot with them in so many forms, and I'm so glad that the musical gave us such a beautiful rendition of the story. I do believe it will make you cry as well!
Anyway, enough rambling from me. I will be updating the folder with the bonus content subs along the way, but just for extra measure, I'll reblog the original post when they're all up~!
BD PURCHASE LINK (International cards and shipping accepted!): CDJapan BD Version | DVD Version
Official Sites: Twitter | Website (MoriMyu General) | Website (Op. 5) MoriMyu Op. 1 Subtitles | MoriMyu Op. 2 Subtitles | MoriMyu Op. 3 Subtitles | MoriMyu Op. 4 Subtitles
Links, notes, and disclaimers under the cut, enjoy~!
NOTES:
※ THE FILE IS SUBTITLES ONLY, VIDEO IS NOT INCLUDED!
All songs and lyrics were translated by me. A bit of creative liberty was exercised to fit context and some cultural references. As usual, the lyrics actually help move the plot, so I didn’t include the romaji for any of them.
Again, I’m not a native British English speaker, so some terms might be off. I consulted with a friend to help me check them, just in case, but please forgive any mistakes.
As usual, some scenes in the musical differ from the anime/manga for time and fluidity’s sake, so please don’t hit me for things that I can’t control ^^;
There aren’t particularly any triggering scenes here, but please do watch with caution since some subjects and terms used might be sensitive and/or triggering for other viewers.
RULES:
[MOST IMPORTANT] Please DO NOT re-post the subs and the link outside of Tumblr! If you want to share outside, please, please DM me about it and link my blog to your post. That’s all I ask.
Please DO NOT remove my credits.
Please DO NOT re-translate without permission.
SUBS DL LINK: GOOGLE DRIVE
※ Please only DM me if there is a problem with the subtitles. I cannot help you if it’s related to the videos.
※ If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a coffee here, if you can. It’ll really help me out a lot.(o^▽^o) Thank you!!
#yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot#musical yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot musical#morimyu#suzuki shogo#hirano ryo#kubota hidetoshi#yamamoto ikkei#kamakari kenta#nagae ryoki#izawa yuuki#cecile daigo#takagi shun#nanaki kanon#nemoto masakazu#yuukoku no moriarty translations#my subs#my translations#man to say i'm emotional is such an understatement#the musical is just too good...!#the songs the acting the overall message#man it still gets to me every single time...!
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