#I can already feel the post-holiday sickness creeping up on me

[love-and-monsters]

Reindeer Centaur: Christmas Vacation

Merry Christmas and happy holidays! I hope you all enjoy this holiday themed piece and have a good day.

Reindeer centaur male X female human, 4824 words. 

The lodge had a sort of wood cabin aesthetic going on, which was only increased by the dusting of snow that covered everything and the pine trees that surrounded it. Little red bows decorated the edges of the porch and a large wreath was hanging on the door. You pushed your way carefully inside, the gold bell attached to the top of the door giving a cheerful jingle.

“Do you need help?” You looked up from your heavy bag to see a centaur leaning over you. His lower half was that of a reindeer, with thick fur and padded hooves. His hair was the same color as his fur and he was wearing a red vest over a white dress shirt. A bell covered harness was attached to his reindeer half and he had a similar collar around his neck.

“I think I’m okay,” you said. You glanced up at his head. Was he supposed to have antlers? Didn’t reindeer have antlers? Would it be rude to ask why he didn’t have them?

“Are you sure?” Just as he spoke, you pulled your suitcase through the threshold and smiled proudly at him.

“I’m good.” You made your way to the front desk and he trotted behind the smooth oak barrier.

“Are you here to check in?” he asked, clicking at the computer in front of him. You nodded, tugging off your hat and gloves.

“Yeah. Marisha Taylor,” you said. He clicked at the screen for a few moments, then smiled and reached under the desk.

“You’re in room 110. Here’s your key card and here’s your schedule of events we’re holding this holiday season. Meals are served three times a day with tea time on weekends and menus and times are listed on your schedule.” He passed you an envelope and a few pieces of paper. You took them and crammed them into one of the cavernous pockets of your coat. The reindeer centaur peered around you like he was looking for someone else.

“Are you here on your own?” he asked. You were pretty sure he was trying to sound professional, but his tone landed somewhere between curious and sympathetic. Your face was already red from the cold, but you could feel your cheeks stinging as the color darkened.

“Yes,” you said. “Just me. I know it’s for two. It’s just me.”

The reindeer centaur didn’t seem to know what to say to that. You could hear him scuffing a hoof on the floor behind the desk. “I’m sorry,” he said in a meeker voice. “Er. My name’s Elias. If you need anything, you can just call the front desk and I’ll be here.” He gave you a smile.

“I’ll do that,” you said. He waved at you as you headed past the desk and into the hall of the lodge. Go down the hall and make a left and you were in front of your door. After a moment of struggling to pull your card out of your pocket, you managed to unlock the door and step inside.

It was a nice room, keeping the natural wood aesthetic that the rest of the lodge also enjoyed. The bed, a queen size, was covered in white, lacy material and the furniture was a glossy white or just off-white color. Add in the green and red rug in the middle of the room, over dark hardwood, the entire place reminded you a little bit of a gingerbread house. You dropped your suitcase on the floor, stumbled over to your bed, and fell face first onto it.

This was supposed to be a Christmas vacation with your boyfriend. But he had decided to break up with you less than a week before you were supposed to leave. Unable to get a refund, you had decided to go anyway. He had paid for his half already. Might as well not let it go to waste.

It had become clear it was a mistake halfway to the lodge when you had realized that everything you had wanted to do had been designed for a couple, of which you were no longer a part. On the other hand, you had already packed everything up, paid for the trip, and taken the week off work. Leaving seemed like a waste.

The look the reindeer centaur had given you when you had turned up with just yourself had made you want to shrivel into yourself and fall through the floor. If people were going to be looking at you like that all vacation, you were pretty sure it would be less embarrassing to just go home.

Not, of course, that you had the money to order another flight back home on such short notice. That clinched it, you supposed. You were going to have to grit your teeth and stay. Maybe it would even be nice. There was a small town nearby that you could visit and the lodge was a really pretty and cozy place to stay. It could be a good vacation, even if it wasn’t the one you imagined.

With that decided, you unpacked your clothes and started to get settled. You flipped through a few channels of the TV before wandering down into the main lodge. There was a large, cozy sitting room with a merrily crackling fire in it, decorated in pine and red ribbons. A few other guests were scattered around the room in cozy chairs, some reading, on laptops, or chatting. One couple was squished into a corner, kissing like they were trying to consume the other’s face. You couldn’t look at them, and so sat yourself about as far away from them as you could.

You settled in with your laptop and scrolled through the internet for a while, trying to ignore the smacking noises the couple was making. Occasionally you saw one of the staff members, marked by their red vests over white dress shirts and little holly pins. There were a few humans, but most of the staff were reindeer centaurs, like the one you’d met at the front desk. That made sense, you supposed. You’d read that it was a family-run business.

The centaur you’d seen at the front desk trotted by occasionally. None of the male reindeer you’d seen had antlers, though all the girls you’d seen did have them, so you assumed it was just a gender thing. You could have sworn he glanced at you a few times when he walked by, but he didn’t try to speak to you. You were pretty grateful for that. More pity would have been really embarrassing.

After a few hours of sitting in the lounge, you headed up to your room and ordered room service. You did not want to sit in the dining hall with a bunch of other couples. After you finished your dinner, you took a warm shower and went to bed.

You woke up to someone knocking at the door. Blearily, you staggered out of bed, pulled on a fluffy robe, and headed to the door.

Elias, the reindeer from the front desk, was standing outside your door. “Miss? Are you- oh!” He startled back a little as you opened the door. His cheeks went faintly red when he saw you were wearing nothing but a bathrobe and nightgown. One of his large hooves scuffed at the ground. “I’m sorry. I was just coming to check on you. There’s a hiking event that you signed up for, but you didn’t show up.”

“What time is it?” you said. Elias tilted his head at you, looking a little confused.

“Ten minutes past nine,” he said. You sighed. Shit. You’d completely forgotten to set your alarm. Not that it really mattered. You weren’t planning on going anywhere anyway.

“Never mind. I’m not going.” You waved him off, sagging against your doorframe. “You can tell them to take off without me.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Eias asked. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

You rubbed a hand over your face. “No, it’s not because I’m sick. I don’t want to go on some kind of couple’s retreat when I’m not in a couple, all right?”

Your tone was testy and you could see realization dawning on his face. You braced yourself for another pitying expression, but he gave you a surprisingly warm smile.

“Did he ditch you?” he asked. His expression was warm and you found yourself meeting his eyes. They were a warm, chocolate brown that made warmth flood your stomach. You nodded before you could stop yourself. “I’ve been there.”

“You have?” you said before you could stop yourself. He was pretty handsome. You couldn’t imagine what kind of an idiot you would have to be to ditch someone like him. He laughed.

“My last girlfriend ran off with another guy right before we went on a weekend trip. That was depressing.” His short tail flicked and he scuffed a hoof against the floor. “But I went out and did a bunch of couple stuff on my own and it was actually pretty fun. Made some good friends.” He gave you a hesitant smile. One of the ears on the side of his head twitched. It was long and looked velvety. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to go, but I don’t think it would be a very fun vacation if you just stayed in the lodge the whole time.”

You hesitated, but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was right. “Give me a minute.” You retreated behind your closed door and quickly pulled on some reasonably nice clothes and ran a comb through your hair before stepping back outside. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He beamed. “Come on, then.” He led you into the main entrance of the lodge. There were several couples there and a female reindeer who looked similar to Elias, though a little older. You guessed she was his sister. He trotted up to her and spoke quietly to her for a moment. She glanced at you, then lifted a shoulder in a little shrug. He grinned and trotted back over to you.

“Lissa agreed to cover the main part of the tour, so I’ll give you a little bit of a private tour,” he said. You felt your cheeks redden a little.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said.

“It’s not a problem. And the trip is supposed to be for groups, so it would be a little awkward if you were on your own.” He shifted his weight, glancing away as if he were uncertain how you would react to him bringing it up.

“Thanks,” you said. He didn’t seem especially pitying so much as just genuinely hoping you were having a good time, which was nice.

The female reindeer, Lissa, led the group out of the front of the lodge and toward the forested trail that snaked around the lodge’s property. You and Elias brought up the rear. He was only wearing his dress shirt and vest, which seemed odd attire because you were shivering under your scarf and coat. “Are you not cold?” you asked.

“No. I’m pretty used to it. I’ve lived here my whole life. And reindeer are pretty- oh, hold on.” He trotted past you to the front of the group, where Lissa had managed to get her antlers caught in a particularly low-hanging branch. After a few moments of struggle, he freed her and she waved him off. He trotted back over to you, shaking some dislodged snow from his hair.

“Is she okay?” you asked. He nodded.

“She’s probably embarrassed, but it happens. It’s one of the reasons I’m glad I lose my antlers in the winter.” He jerked his head toward Lissa, who was successfully leading the tour again. “She’ll lose hers in the spring and I’ll get mine back. Then I’ll have to deal with tree branches.” He laughed and you couldn’t help but laugh too. There was a gentle, infectious quality to it.

You continued through the woods in silence. There was a soft rushing sound from somewhere nearby, and when you turned around a thicket of trees, you could see a large, rushing river falling over a small cliff into a pool below. The tour was separated from it by a short, but sheer drop.

“Wow.” The overhanging branches and snow made it look almost like a fairytale. Lissa started loudly explaining something to the group, but you moved a little closer to the water’s edge and peered into it. Elias stepped up behind you, one hand out to catch you if you fell.

“Careful,” he said. “I don’t want to have to jump in after you.”

“I’ve got good balance,” you replied. Elias stepped back and reached into the pocket of his vest. He removed something small and silver that sat in the palm of his hand.

“Here.” He passed it to you and you got a better look at it. It was a tiny silver boat, made out of some flimsy silver material. It felt like you could have crushed it by simply closing your fist over it, but it was so sweet and charming, you certainly didn’t want to. “It’s supposed to be a couples tradition here,” he said, “but it’s something you could do on your own.” He pointed down to the pool. “A couple carries their boat down to the pool and makes a wish for their future as they set it down. Supposedly if it sinks, the wish will fail, but if it floats, the wish will come true.”

“That’s a silly tradition,” you said. Elias’ ears drooped and he frowned at you.

“It’s a bit of a cliché, sure, but I like it.” There was hurt in his voice and you hurried to clarify.

“No, no, I was just thinking that the boats are going to sink eventually. They’re not going to float forever.”

“Oh. Well, when we come back this way, we’ll fish them back out. Each couple has a different color boat, so that’s how we tell them apart. If they’re still floating, then you wish will come true.” He led you down to a small dip where you could reach out and put the boat on the water. It wobbled for a moment, then floated out to circle the middle of the pond. “It looks good,” Elias said as it bobbed out into the water. “What did you wish for?”

“For my ex to die in a horrible accident,” you replied. Elias’ mouth dropped open before his expression split into an enormous, almost feral, grin.

“Really?” he said, equal parts incredulous and impressed. You snorted at his expression.

“No, not really. I wished for a good vacation.”

“Oh,” said Elias, faintly disappointed. You wondered if he would have enjoyed the revenge-by-proxy.

“You don’t really want to be involved in someone’s horrible death, do you?” you asked. Elias shrugged.

“I suppose not.” He guided you out of the way as the rest of the group marched to the water. “At the very least, I think I can help with your other wish.”

“You’ve been pretty good so far,” you said. “You were right. It’s nice out here. Really peaceful.”

A strange look crossed Elias’ face for a moment. “Hold on a second,” he said and he trotted over to his sister. They spoke for a moment, Elias making pleading hand gestures all the while. Eventually, she sighed and nodded. Elias beamed and trotted back to your side.

“Follow me,” he said and he started to trot away from the rest of the group. You hesitated, then walked after him. He was trotting quickly enough that you had to jog to keep up.

“Where are we going?” you asked. He slowed a little, but his trot was still energetic, hooves lifting high above the snow.

“The rest of the tour doesn’t show too much. It’s just a bunch of couples’ events throughout the forest. But there’s a part of the forest that most tours don’t get to see.” He hopped over a fallen log and offered you an arm as you climbed over it. “It’s a bit of a hike, though. Are you up for it?”

“Sure,” you said. He nodded and his pace quickened a little as you continued into the forest.

Sunlight sparkled against the ice as you continued through the woods, illuminating a bright path for you to follow. The path you were following didn’t seem to get much use, as it was largely obscured by branches and debris, but Elias seemed to know exactly where he was going. He loped on ahead of you, making sure you were still following behind every few minutes. As you traveled through the forest, you noticed that the white, green, and brown of the woods was being interrupted by splashes of crimson red. The red became more and more common until the ground was littered with it. The red was flowers, you realized. Poinsettias, you thought.

Elias slowed down and you realized that the trees had grown taller and larger, so that their branches created a sort of canopy. The light was dimmer, though the little beams that filtered through the branches sent the ice on the ground glittering like diamonds. The poinsettias were everywhere, blanketing much of the ground in red. You stopped, but Elias continued on. “This isn’t even the best part,” he said when he saw you gaping at the flower carpeting of the ground.

He led you on a little further, hooves crunching on the flowers until there was a clacking noise as he stepped forward again. You stopped, but he continued forward, hooves clicking over the ground. At a closer look, you could see why. He was no longer stepping on flowers, but instead on a sheet of ice that covered the flowers. As you gaped in amazement, Elias turned around and smiled at you.

“Come on,” he said, offering a hand. “If it will hold me, it will certainly hold you.”

You reached out and took his hand. It was smooth and warm against your own. Elias tugged you forward and you took a tentative step onto the ice.

Your feet skidded and you had to lean on him, which ended up pushing both of you back from the shore. Elias was surprisingly steady on his hooves; you had thought he would have been skidding all over the place, but he was perfectly sure. “Are you okay?” he asked as you eased your weight off him.

“I’ve been ice skating before,” you said. You took a few steps to make sure your feet were under you, then pushed off into a glide. Elias watched admiringly as you went in a slow circle around him. “See?”

“Mmhm,” he nodded. He continued stepping delicately across the ice. You drifted into a glide next to him.

“What are we going to see?” you asked. Elias glided to a stop and pointed toward the edge of the pond. The flowers continued out of the water and up around the base of an enormous pine tree. When you looked more closely, you saw that the entire thing seemed to be shimmering faintly.

“It’s the oldest tree in the forest,” he said. “There’s a legend that says that as long as it stands, this area will always be prosperous.”

“That’s a nice legend,” you said. Elias continued forward and pawed at the base of the tree with a front hoof. After a moment, he pulled up a flower, a smaller one, and trotted up to you. He gestured for you to hold still and swept some of your hair out of your face before tucking the flower into it.

“There. The flowers are supposed to be part of the blessing. If you have one, then your life will be prosperous as well.” He dropped his hands and smiled. “It looks lovely on you.”

You could feel your face heating up, and not just from the cold. “Thank you.” He smiled.

“That’s why the symbol of the lodge is a poinsettia. It means prosperity,” he said. “And good fortune.”

“It’s beautiful here,” you said. “Thank you for taking me.” It was hard to put the amount of gratitude you felt into your voice, but you tried.

“It’s what I would have wanted someone to do for me when my girlfriend left me,” he said in a quieter voice.

“She was an idiot,” you said loudly. “You’ve been nothing but sweet. I can’t imagine having someone as great as you and letting them go.”

A splash of darker color crossed his face and he scuffed his hooves against the flowers. “You’ve been wonderful too,” he said. “Your boyfriend must have been a very stupid man to let you go.”

You grinned at him a little stupidly until a cold wind whipped through and both of you shivered. “Ugh,” he said. “We should probably head back to the lodge.” He trotted back to the pond and took a particularly large leap onto the ice.

The instant his hooves hit the ice, there was a thunderous crack. His eyes went wide and he stumbled, almost falling. His hooves scrambled, skidding out from under him. After a flurry of desperate motion, he managed to crawl back up onto the bank, panting in terror.

You ran toward him and helped pull him away from the ice. There was a deep groaning noise and a series of cracks so loud they almost made the ground shake. White cracks splintered across the surface of the ice. Within moments, water was seeping across the ice. A few of the smaller floes went under.

Elias trotted to the edge and poked at one of the larger ice pieces with a hoof. It bobbed, the edge sinking under the water for a moment. He retreated back to your side, frowning.

“How did you break the ice?’ you said. “It was steady when we walked across it before.”

“I must have landed on a weak point too hard and it fractured,” Elias said. His ears flicked, pinning back against his head. You looked around the edges of the pond. It wasn’t too wide across, but it merged with a river on either side. You couldn’t walk around it.

“Is there a bridge somewhere?” you asked. “We could walk down a little ways and cross there.”

“Not for a long way down. No one comes down here and we cross using the ice in the winter and wading in the summer. It’s too cold to wade across now.” Elias paced the edge of the shore for a moment, then nodded and knelt down. “Get on.”

“What?” You hadn’t met many centaurs before, but all the ones you had met had been very touchy about people riding them. They usually considered it degrading.

“Get on.” Elias offered you a hand and, after a second, you took it. You settled on his back. The fur was slightly coarse, but under it, you could feel thick fluff. Elias stood up again, wobbling slightly as he adjusted to your weight. “You comfortable?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said. “What are we going to do?”

Elias turned his head enough so that you could see him smirk, then he turned forward again, expression focused. He backed up a few feet and pawed at the ground with a hoof. Something clicked in your mind. “Wait. You’re not going to-”

He took off, running full tilt toward the edge of the pond. You automatically ducked down and seized the bell harness around his waist.

He pushed off the ground with enough force that your teeth clicked together. There was a moment of weightlessness, then a bone-shaking thud as you hit the ground on the other side of the pond. Elias trotted a few feet. You could feel his legs shaking slightly and you scrambled to get off him before he could even kneel down again.

“I’m all right,” he said. “I wasn’t sure that was going to work.” He let out a shaking sigh of relief. “I’m glad it did.”

“Me too,” you said. You leaned on him as he clung to you, both of you swaying and giggling in relief. Elias turned and looked back at the pond. The perfect image of underwater poinsettias was fractured by the chunks of ice floating over the water.

“I hope no one’s too pissed I broke the ice,” he said. “It’ll be harder to get across if anyone wants to visit the shrine.”

“It’s not like it’s urgent, is it?” you said. Elias shrugged.

“Sometimes people go there if they want a lucky break. Supposedly it’ll give you a boost of fortune.”

“What happened didn’t feel very lucky,” you said as you looked down at the broken pond.

Elias snorted quietly. “You can ask for luck, but you never know what kind you’ll get,” he said. “Though my grandma always says that sometimes things that look like bad luck are just good luck in disguise.” He shrugged again, smiling at you. “We’ll see, I suppose.”

You couldn’t help but smile back. Despite the chill, you felt pleasantly warm all of a sudden. “We’ll see.”

He took a few steps forward in the snow, then turned back to you. “Do you want to ride on my back again?”

If you had been surprised before, you were utterly astonished at that remark. “Are you sure?”

“It’ll be faster,” he said. “And it’ll be warmer than if you were just walking next to me.” Before you could say anything else, Elias knelt in the snow and looked toward you. “Come on.”

You carefully straddled him again and he stood again. After making sure you were holding on again, he took off running.

His pace was steady and even when running over the debris-filled forest floor. You could feel his muscles working under you in a smooth, regular motion, especially where your hands rested on his waist.

As you approached the pool where you’d originally split up from the rest of the group, Elias slowed down. “Want to see if the boat’s still floating?” he asked. He knelt to allow you off his back and you approached the water together.

The rest of the group’s boats were still there. A few of them were visible at the bottom of the pool. Yours, however, was still circling aimlessly around the center of the pond. With a bit of effort, you managed to snag the boat between your fingers and pull it out.

“Your wish will come true,” Elias said as you returned to him with the boat.

“I think it already did,” you said. “Thank you.” Elias beamed.

“You’re very welcome,” he said. “I’m glad I was able to help.”

A short walk later and you were in the main room of the lodge. Elias had produced two large mugs of hot chocolate and you were sitting in front of the fire.

“Are you feeling less upset about your ex?” he asked tentatively. You nodded.

“I don’t know what I even saw in that ass,” you said. “Thinking about it, he did a lot of stuff like this. Always bailing on me whenever I needed him and then expecting me to show up whenever he needed anything. I think I just didn’t want to believe it.”

“At least you’re over and done with him now,” Elias said. “You can move on.”

“Mm,” you agreed. Elias shifted his legs under him and his ears twitched slightly. You could feel his gaze moving to you, then moving away again. He cleared his throat and spoke.

“I was going to ask if you were still wanting to continue with the scheduled activities tomorrow,” he asked. “They are very couple-aligned activities.”

“I don’t know. Today wasn’t so bad. But I wasn’t with the group much anyway,” you said.

I have the day off tomorrow,” Elias said. “If you aren’t interested in staying here, the town is wonderful this time of year. You could come in with me and I could show you around.”

You looked sideways at him. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

His cheeks pinked significantly, but his voice was steady as he responded. “Well… not exactly. I’m not interested in being a rebound. But I do like you. I wouldn’t be opposed to waiting for a while and… keeping the option open?”

You smiled at him. “I like that idea.” You absently let your hand fall through his hair. It was surprisingly soft. He leaned into your touch. The fire crackled warmly and you felt quite at peace. You lifted your gaze to the poinsettias that lined the ceiling.

“I don’t know if you had anything to do with this,” you offered to the supposed spirit of the forest, “but thank you.”

There was no response but a gentle breeze outside. The poinsettia seemed to gleam a slightly brighter shade of red in the firelight.

[haik-choo]

what the holidays look like with the haikyuu boys

oikawa.

they look like sandy beaches, late sunsets, and tanned skin. festive red and green lights illuminate the bar you sit at with oikawa, the colors bouncing off his face as he looks at the menu. his skin is warm, heated from the setting sun; his arms and shoulders are tan, his pale chest peaking through his loose sleeveless shirt. “it’s strange for december to be so warm,” he murmurs as your finger traces circles on his open palm. “only to you. for everyone else here it’s just another day.” he makes a face and nods, flipping to the next page of the menu. “don’t you miss your home, tooru? japan must be nice and chilly outside right now.” he laughs, finally closing the menu and looking up at you, eyes shimmering. “it’s more than chilly. the roads must have iced over by now. but...” you lean in, anticipating his next words, “but...?” “...but, I am home. I’m here with you.” shy, you scoff, brushing his hand away and rolling your eyes. “oh, shut up.” you look at the beach in front of the restaurant for a while, heart pounding too hard to look back at your grinning boyfriend. from outside your peripheral vision his hand reaches to grab yours again and brings it up to his lips, gently kissing the back of your palm. “I mean it, though,” he whispers, “you really are my home.” the words tickle the hairs on your hand, heating up your ears and cheeks. you look back at him, taking in his glowing demeanor and loving touch, eyes soft. “I know. and you’re mine, tooru.” 

tsukishima.

they look like messy hair even in the evening, neither one of you bothering to comb it when you woke up. there’s no fireplace, instead, there’s kei’s laptop on the coffee table, a video of fire playing, gentle wooden crackles filling the warm silence. the lights are off, save for the lamp that barely glows bright enough to be able to read under it. but, it still works. kei’s long legs are outstretched towards the coffee table, feet clad in red fuzzy socks you got him last year. in his left hand is a small book, some stupid small-font history book he’s reading for work; in his right hand a cup of hot chocolate made with hot water, marshmallows floating on top. you sit next to him, hands in lap, legs outstretched across the rest of the couch, eyes closed, only listening to the faux fire sizzling in front of you. “look at you, Mr. Studious Nerd,” you impishly joke, eyes opening to turn and look at his reaction. “shut up or you’ll get coal for christmas.” you pout, “I thought I got a promise ring?” a resolute sigh leaves his lips, eye closing for just a second, “I knew you’d sneak a look at your gift early.” you smile widely, shrugging. smugly, tsukshima goes back to reading, “good thing I got you something else to actually surprise you.” gasping, you latch onto his shoulder, eyes wide. “what?! really? I thought I checked all of the gift-hiding spots, though?” the sound of a page turning followed by a sigh and the closing of a leather-backed book resonates throughout the room. suddenly, you become warmer when a pair of lips brushes against your forehead. an arm wraps around your shoulder to pull you in, closer. a soft, “I love you so much, you dweeb,” rings like merry bells in your ear. under your breath, shy yet curious, you grumble, smile creeping on your face, “you dodged my question, idiot.” 

kageyama.

they look like his toned legs extended out on the green couch you bought together, ice packs on each of his thighs and around his shoulders. his sniffle can be heard across the living room, red nose under attack from his cold. you smile, porridge in hand in a little festive bowl that has menorahs painted on the sides. “happy holidays, tobio. hope this helps you feel better.” the black-haired setter scoffs, “the only thing that would make me feel better is for this stupid cold to go away.” “I told you not to practice outside with wet hair. now your muscles hurt and you’re sick. you are simply reaping your consequences,” you reason, snobbish look on your face before it breaks with the roll of his eyes. laughing, you move his legs and sit next to him, spoon in hand. you raise your brows when he pouts and looks away, brows drawn close together. “I know you aren’t acting like a literal toddler right now.” “I don’t need you to feed me!” rolling your eyes, you sigh and place the porridge across the coffee table and stand up. “fine. feed yourself you nimrod.” not even two steps out the room you hear a low grumble come from the couch. turning around, you see kageyama with his head low, mouth barely moving. “can you feed me?” you give him a look, “...please?” smiling, you walk back over. his deep navy blue eyes contrast with the light red of his nose and around his eyes; your heart jumps as you feed him, his eyes trained on you. moments pass, silence covers the room in a safe, secure blanket. when he’s done eating, you place the bowl on the table before shoving kageyama aside to lay next to him. “you’ll get sick,” he says, but his arm is already wrapped around you, “maybe.” another second passes before he speaks again, “I really appreciate you, ya know.” you smile, turning on the tv to the sports channel, “yeah, I know.” 

akaashi.

they look like batter-splattered countertops, green and red sprinkles dusting the floor and dangerously close to the stovetop. a warm vanilla scent exudes from the oven, the timer counting down from twelve minutes. akaashi is bent over the burners, stirring beige eggnog with a wooden spoon. unfortunately, it looks lumpy and burned on the edges, somehow. with a sigh of defeat, the wavy-haired man puts a lid on the pot and moves across the galley-way kitchen, leaning on the white counters. you look over from the fridge, amused. “chef’s special doing downhill?” he chuckles weakly, nodding, “you have no idea. I think I burnt it...somehow.” you laugh, closing the refrigerator door with your hip, two glasses of eggnog in your hand, “that’s why I bought these, big man.” he takes the glasses, quirking a brow, “good thinking.” it’s quiet as you lean next to him, both watching the clock tick down closer and closer to zero. in this time you decide to stare at the love of your life, his nose with a slight bump in the middle, his eyelashes grow outward like grass, his tired yet loving eyes, staring straight at you. oh. you blink, turning away. “sorry. got caught in the moment.” akaashi hums from beside you, not missing a beat as his hand comes up, picking something from your hair. he rolls it in his fingers, “looks like dandruff,” he jokes, making you groan and push him away. “I’m just kidding,” you can hear the grin in his voice, you can see it too once he moves to the front line of your sight, forehead coming to rest against yours. gently, he brushes his nose with your own, eyes open only a sliver. “I am so in love with you.” he whispers, voice fragile and warm. heart swelling, you gaze up at him, “I love you, too, keiji.” in the background, the timer beeps thrice, but neither of you really rush to take them out of the oven, you bought extra cookies just in case, anyway. 

kenma.

they look like warm fuzzy blankets layered on his full sized bed, the low glow of the led lights on his ceiling shining down on you both. the sound of clicking buttons and occasional ending screen of a failed level play behind you; your own nose buried in your phone, scrolling past posts of friends out and about. kenma’s sock-clad feet rub against each other in lieu of more warmth as his head shrinks back under the protection of the white blanket on top of him. “I’m still cold,” he mutters before scoffing as he fails the same level again for what must be the thousandth time. he tosses the nintendo aside, shifting closer to you. “get another blanket then,” you muse, eyes still trained on your phone. “hmm, don’t wanna,” you feel his cold nose dig into the back of your neck, his arms encircling your waist; a warm breath fans across your nape, and you twitch. laughing, you try to elbow him away, but he whines at your resistance and holds onto you tighter. amused, you click off your phone and shove it under your pillow, turning towards him. you’re met with glowing 24 karat-gold-eyes and messy hair. he stares unblinking at you, and shyness overcomes you as he shamelessly lands his gaze at your lips. nothing can compare to the image of kenma slowly leaning towards you, sunny eyes closing in anticipation of a sweet kiss. a few beats pass with his lips on yours, and he’s in no rush when he pulls away, still staring at you. “you taste like apple fritter.” shy, you place a hand on his chest, “don’t you have a stream in like an hour or something?” “that can wait,” he whispers, body snuggling into yours. 

sugawara.

they look like ribbon and tissue paper strewn across the floor of a shared apartment. glitter spilled on the table, scissors open wide in an unsafe position peaking out from under the couch (that has an obscene amount of pillows with different holidays listed on them), tubes of wrapping paper scattered in random corners. you sit opposite of the gray-haired beauty, sticking labels on newly-wrapped presents, each of them addressed to a kid at the orphanage down the street. sugawara’s tongue pokes out of his mouth, nimble thumbs placing tape of the edges of the festive wrapping paper. “you know, koushi, not all of the kids celebrate christmas,” the former setter looks at you quickly, shrugging, “I know! I just wanted to get each of them a gift anyway! wouldn’t you be bummed if I got light up cinderella shoes but you got nothing?” you laugh, shaking your head. it’s silent for a few minutes more, the last few wraps being the most complicated ones, spheres and cylinders. you sit, waiting, gazing at the ugly sweater his kindergarten kids had gotten him (they all chipped in a few dollars (or their parents did)) that was a size too small and incredibly itchy, but he still wore anyway. “hmm, whatcha starin’ at?” his voice broke you from your trance. you stay quiet a few seconds more muttering, “you’ve got such a beautiful heart, koushi.” a blush erupts on your boyfriend’s face, his hands stilling before he smiles softly and continues his job. “only because you’re here by my side. you make me a better person each day.” you bite your lip and play with the nametags in your hand, feeling bad because you know you have the best gift out of all of the kids, and he’s sitting right across from you, failing at wrapping a soccer ball. 

tendou. 

they look like empty streets in the earliest hours of the morning, a time so early yet late that the birds are asleep, yet twitching in anticipation to be awake. the snow falls gently on the salted sidewalk, fresh and fluffy. a loud laugh breaks through the silence of the neighborhood street, the crunching of snow following suit. red hair dashes from piles of snow to behind lampposts, garbage cans, mailboxes. you wind your arm up, a heftily packed ball of (almost) ice ready in your palm for ammunition. a giggle leaves your lips as tendou grabs his own ball of snow, cheeks bitten pink by the harsh cold. ‘he’s fast, but not fast enough’ you think as you launch the snowball. it flies through the air, hitting the lanky chocolatier in the face with a satisfying crunch. tendou stills, nose red and wet from melted snow as you laugh so hard you almost fall over. a smile slowly climbs his now-numbing face and he walks towards you. your laughter only stops when he’s right in front of you, gazing down at your gleeful figure with love swimming in his eyes like marshmallows in gourmet hot chocolate. the snow rests on top of his buzzed red hair like white icing to red velvet cake. warmth radiates off him, penetrating deep in your heart. “you’re so beautiful,” he mutters, embracing you. you melt in his arms, but the feeling of wet coldness slapping into your back and the sound of crunching snow tell you of his crime. you can only laugh and call his name, “tendou satori, get back here!” and chase his nimble figure down the road back home, where he’ll hug you -- for real, this time. 

[malebodysuittf]

The Wrapping

In my last story, I wanted to write a dark thriller-ish story with a villainous protagonist, but I wanted this story to be a whole lot more wholesome (though still devious) for the holidays! It’s kind of silly and not as hot tbh, but hopefully it’s kind of fun for someone. It’s been one hell of a year, so here’s to a better 2021. Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays y’all! Stay safe, and make sure no one you’re close to is plotting to suitify you! ;)

edit: Oh crap, I totally forgot to post this yesterday! Here it is though, my message stays the same! 

-----------------------------------------------------

I sighed as I listened to the mundane tapping of fingers on keyboards, nails hitting the desk, pens clicking. Over and over, my head rang with the same sounds throughout the morning. No one who was here wanted to be here. Except perhaps my boss. That piece of shit put us all to work instead of giving us the holidays off. Only reason he might be happy to be here is probably because, if his wife has been hearing any of the rumors regarding his interactions with the female employees of our company, I’m assuming their marriage is disastrous.

I thought I’d be able to relax at home, spend Christmas with my boyfriend, Craig. We’ve been together for a couple of years now, and this was our first year living together. Our first Christmas spent together. The last one, we had both flown home to see our parents, splitting up. 

But of course, my piece of shit boss had called me up. Told me to come in and work...subtly threatened unemployment if I objected. I wanted to quit right  then and there, but money was tight and I knew how much Craig and I could use the cash. I had to break the news to Craig, but he was understanding. He promised that we’d open up presents tonight, or we’d open them up tomorrow if I was too tired. It was heartwarming to hear the support loved one, but made the act of going to work the next day no less grueling. 

“Hey Lance, you get that call from boss too?” I jumped at the sound of my name being called and turned to see my coworker and one of the few friends I’ve made in the office, Trevor. He was a good lookin’ guy, though he only had a frustrated face at the moment. 

“Yeah. Fucking ridiculous.”

“Right? Sick of this fucking job. Frankly, I’m not even sure what I fucking do at this point,” he joked. A hint of a smile popped up on his face. He slapped me on the arm and got up, heading towards the bathroom. I closed my eyes and imagined what I’ll do with Craig. It was the only thing that could motivate me to keep up with my work. 

----------------------------

Hours later, the sun was setting and an orange hue painted the sky. It was a surprisingly beautiful sunset, considering it was Christmas. I finally finished my work. I watched the tired people around me cleaning up their desks, disgruntled and ready to go home. I glanced over at Trevor’s desk and noted he was still missing...weird. I hadn’t seen him the entire day ever since he left to go to the restroom. I guessed he had wisened up and just left. I sure as hell wish I could afford to...I know Trevor came from a pretty wealthy background. But at least I could finally find some respite with the end of the day approaching. 

Until I saw the secretary walking to my desk. 

She placed her hands on my desk and looked me in the eye, almost remorsefully. 

“Mr. Campbell would like to speak to you.”

My heart sunk as I realized I’ll be spending more time in this shithole instead of celebrating the holidays with my boyfriend. I slumped in my chair and nodded to the secretary. She left me and I cleaned my act up. Surely it must be something quick, right? I couldn’t imagine him calling me in at the end like this for any reason. 

Walking over to Mr. Campbell’s office, I opened the door and saw my dapper boss staring at me intimidatingly. 

“Hello, Lance. I’m sure this little meeting may come as a surprise. Take a seat, won’t you?” He motioned towards a chair opposite from his desk, while seating himself in a larger one. 

“I know you might be a little confused as to why I called you in. But let me assure it’s nothing bad.” He smiled at me, something I had never seen before on his face. He always looked menacing and unwelcoming. But right in this moment, something seemed different. 

“I just wanted to give you this for being an outstanding part of this office. You’ve always been productive and loyal to this business. You deserve proper compensation. Especially for coming in on Christmas.”

From behind his desk, he pulled out a fairly large box, wrapped in a snowman-covered paper, perhaps the size of my torso, and slid it across the desk. I cautiously took the box, wondering what the catch was. There was no way he decided to just randomly give me this out of kindness or gratefulness. Not Mr. Campbell. This is the abusive boss who makes people work on Christmas, threaten their jobs and their records, and, allegedly, numerous women have quit and spoken up on him firing them if they did not oblige to sexual favors. On top of that, why the hell is he only giving this to me? Still, he was my boss for now, and I had to appeal to him.

“...Er, thanks, Mr. Campbell. I appreciate the gift. I’ll make sure-”

“Why don’t you open it?”

“Right here? Right now?”

“Yes. Open it. I want you to see it.”

Confused, I still obeyed and started to rip the wrapping paper off. I glanced up to give the boss an acknowledging smile as I lifted the lid up. I found a folded up suit and tie, along with pants.

“Clothing, Mr. Campbell?” I tried to feign gratitude with a hesitant smile.

“Keep going.” 

I lifted the clothing and saw an ID on top of a peach colored object. On the ID, I saw a picture of...Trevor. A chill ran across my spine as I felt the peace colored object...it felt like skin. I pulled it out and lo and behold...it was Trevor in the form of a flimsy suit. 

“Is this some kind of...costume?” The thing gave me the creeps, but I couldn’t defy my curiosity. 

“You could say that.”

“Was that...you earlier then?”

A grim glare shot across Mr. Campbell’s face. “No.”

“Then...what did you do to Trevor?” My voice quivered as a ton of horrific scenes ran through my head. 

“It was just an injection. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.” He pulled out what looked like pink stickers. “All you do is slap these magic tags on, and he’ll be restored within an hour. Sorry to alarm you.” 

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth, until Mr. Campbell said, “Why don’t you put him on right now?” 

“What? Right here? I don’t even know-”

“Take your clothes off. Stretch open the mouth. You can figure out the rest.” 

Something told me I didn’t have a choice. I laid the suit on the floor and started to pull out of my clothing, tossing it over the chair. I grabbed the Trevor suit and dipped my toes into the mouth. Surprisingly, it was soft and comfortable. I slipped into the legs and did a few test jumps. Mr. Campbell observed closely as the suit matched my form. I squeezed my way into the rest of the suit before pulling the face over my own, before a painful ache rushed through my body. Suddenly, a lifetime of memories flooded my mind. I recalled feeling a prick in the neck before everything went black...I wasn’t exactly sure what to say to Mr. Campbell.

“Is there something you would like me to do with this?” Trevor’s voice escaped my throat! It was like I was him entirely. But why did Mr. Campbell want me in this suit? I was confused on what to do now. I stood there awkwardly, naked with an admittedly sexier body. Mr. Campbell walked around his desk and came up to me.

“Why don’t you unwrap your second present?” He grabbed my crotch, though I immediately relented and backed up.

“I’m sorry Mr. Campbell, but I’ve got a boyfriend, and frankly, this is a little weird...”

“Don’t you want to provide for him?” I gulped, knowing my job was on the line. Craig would understand, he always does.

I started to unbutton Mr. Campbell’s jacket and slid it off of him. The white button-up was already partially open, displaying the man’s hairy chest. Despite how awful my boss was, I confessed I considered him an attractive man. I pulled off the shirt and was down to his pants. I looked at him, unsure if he wanted me to go all the way. He nodded, urging me to take it all off. I unbuckled his belt and slid it out, the pants visibly loosened and slipped down with ease. I looked up for another nod of approval before removing his shoes and socks, smelling the subtle rankness of his feet. Finally, i slipped his underwear down, and a lengthy member dropped in front of me. I examined the man in front of me, up and down. Were these the kind of sexual favors my boss wanted? Was he interested in men? 

“Why don’t you keep going?” 

I raised an eyebrow at him, dumbfounded. “What?” 

“Keep going.” He walked closer to me, sensually looking me in the eye. 

I couldn’t quite grasp what he meant, until he tugged at his cheek, revealing something else inside. I rubbed Mr. Campbell’s face and he closed his eyes, groaning in pleasure. Slowly tracing down his face, I hooked my fingers under his lips and started to stretch the mouth open. I could feel the scruffy facial hair move under my fingers as I tugged at his face, the face distorting as a familiar face was revealed under Mr. Campbell’s face.

“Craig?” I was absolutely speechless as I slipped off the entire face of my boss. The upper half of the face landed in a heap behind him, while the chin lay across his chest. I backed up in shock at the spectacle before me! 

Craig gave me a devious smile and started to rip the skin off of himself. Still using Mr. Campbell’s hands, he grabbed at the mouth around his neck and started to pull. As he did, the skin started to give, and he started to rip it off, like wrapping. Truly like a Christmas gift! The face split in half and he tugged towards his left arm. With a forceful motion, the arm sleeve ripped right off and he tossed it towards onto the desk, the fingers hanging over the side as they flopped around. He continued to rip the other side off as the suit seemingly got shredded. With the torso hanging over his hip, the torn up skinsuit hung onto the cock in pieces, the face hanging by the side while the right hand of the suit laying flatly on the ground. Craig heaved as he pulled the rest of it off violently, further shredding the skin until it lay as a mess on the floor. He picked up it and slung the mangled skinsuit onto the desk.

“Merry Christmas, babe!” He held me by my hips and kissed me.

“Craig, what the hell is this?” 

“I bought us some of these serums, and figured they would make a nice gift. I didn’t originally plan to use it on these guys in specific, but when you got that call and told me about your shitty boss...I figured we could get a bit of revenge. Plus, you’ve told me about Trevor being hot. So I figured, why the hell not?” 

“But what about Mr. Campbell? You ripped him up!”

“Don’t worry, trust me, some tape and those little sticker things he showed...he’ll be back. And he’ll be humbled.”

He went back behind the desk and pulled out a paper and slid it over to me. I skimmed through it...this was a document giving the company to me!

“Oh my God! What the fuck? This is...”

“Yep. I always said you’d make a great leader. And whenever your coworkers come by to hang out with us, you have no clue what they say about you. They’re gonna love you. And Mr. Campbell over here, signed the document. Hopefully, he takes the time off to reimagine himself as a better man. All you gotta do is sign it yourself.” He rolled a pen over and I held it within my hand. I scoured through Trevor’s thoughts, and he had said some of the sweetest things about me, and his conversations with our colleagues suggested that maybe I could be the one  to make this shithole better. I brought the pen to the paper and voila, my signature was on it.

“You get to be the boss now, Lance.” Craig got up and came to embrace me. I was too stunned at everything happening to give him much of a response. “You can make this place so much better next year. But for now, why don’t we enjoy that sexy suit you’re in?” He started to kiss me, and I returned the favor. I pulled back for a second and looked Craig in the eyes.

“This is the best Christmas ever...Why don’t I give you my present now?” I gave him a suggestive look, rubbing up against against him. I pushed him down across the desk and whispered into his ear, “I love you, babe. Merry Christmas.” 

[vdragon-creations]

More Danganronpa Headcanons!

Why? Because I can! And I have to wait for a Commissioner to get back to me about a WIP I just sent!

I Think I’m gunna try my hands at making some Headcanons for Mondo, Ishimaru, Leon, Kazuichi, and Kiibo this time a round! Just cause I wanna try and explore new characters. (And totally not because I fell hard for a certain Robo Boi! WHAAAAAAAT! YOU CRAZY GURL!) I’m still loyal to my man Yasuhiro! But I gotta spred the love! Cause these boi’s need it! Also, wanna mention that these are more like...Non-Killing Game AU Headcanaons. So yeah! ^^ 

Let’s do this!

Mondo:

Is a Semi decent carpenter, but there was that one time he fucked up the legs on a chair, and now one of Asahina’s shorts has a rip in it where there was a stray nail sticking out.

She wont let him live that down. And neither will Sakura.

Get’s pretty embarrassed/pissed off if someone touches his neck! The dude’s jacket practically covers that entire part of his body, so he’s not used to feeling anything touch him there!

He once let out a girlish scream when Leon poked him there once to wake him up during class! The rest of them are surprised Leon wasn’t killed right then and there.

Once he participated in a little competition between the classes to see who was the arm wrestling champ. He got pretty far till he had to go up against Gonta. He lost by a landslide, but he felt better loosing to a dude like him at least. 

Totally escorts any female classmate or student home on his bike if they ask, or he sees some creep hanging around them. 

He does get embarrassed about it though, and ends up yelling at them. This results in one of three things.

The girl runs away!

The girl just politely declines, and walks away kinda creeped out!

Or a mix of all, with the addition of the dude sees this, and get’s spooked himself, and fucks off

Ishimaru:

Has a bit of a panic attack and dies inside if he sees someone leaving the men’s restroom without washing their hands!

Carries scented hand sanitizers with him! At all times! No matter what! And must offer some to every single one of his classmates! 

Once he tripped in the halls while chasing after another rule breaker, and had to be carried to the nurse’s office. Now that alone wouldn’t have been a bad thing, except Sakura was the one who did it, and she carried him bridle style, much to his dismay. 

Mondo and Leon teased him about that one for months.

During Christmas, he’ll start screeching about PDA anytime he sees a Mistletoe, or people under it who are about to kiss! 

But will ultimately be the first one forced to stand underneath it by is classmates.

Stays behind after school hours to either clean, or poke his head into every class room to see if the teachers need help with anything.

He’s totally that guy who during the Gym Class or Sports festival, is bitching about how short the girls shorts are, but not realize he’s staring. There by making HIM the creep! 

Leon of all people was the one to point this out to him, only adding to the shame.

Leon:

It’s not hard for him to start catching feelings for basically any girl meets.

Totally has an Instagram where he posts shirtless pics! He’s pretty popular thanks to that, and his Baseball Skills.

Purposely taught himself English so he could flirt with some of the American and British chicks who visit his profile and leave comments.

He’s pretty used to going from girl to girl, so it’s safe to assume he’s used to getting dunked on by the girls he’s dumped. Getting called a pig, dirty looks, even some of them going so far as to pour their drinks on them at lunch. This he can handle!

Wanted so badly to start a band with Sayaka, Ibuki, Kaede, and Kazuichi! (Probably due to the punk look Soda always puts on!) But he was promptly let down by all of them! Cause Ibuki had her own shit to deal with, Kazuichi because he had no experience with music (at least any good ones, Stay tuned for that! ;3), Sayaka cause she’s already part of a group, and Kaede because punk wasn’t exactly her thing.

But what really stresses him out is when one of his Exes just.....doesn’t really seem to care! It feels so outta place to him, and it actually makes him pretty paranoid. Wondering if their plotting for revenge or some shit! So he’ll spend days after breaking up with a girl like this, just kinda....being a little bitch! XD

Secretly, I’m pretty sure they all turned him down because they thought he was coming on to them to a degree. 

Kazuichi:

Is a lot like Yasuhiro, he doesn’t like birds, but not because he thinks they work for the government. It’s because he doesn’t like most animals, they remind him of Gundham.

Miu makes him HIGHLY uncomfortable! Sure, she’s hot and stuff, but she’s a whole other level of fuckery that he wants no part of! She’s banned from entering his workshop, and so Kiibo is usually the one who comes in to grab something if Miu needs it. He completely get’s Kazuichi feeling put off by Miu.

However, Kazuichi is still pretty insistent on asking Kiibo if he can take him apart every time he comes to get something for Miu. Making the poor robot very uncomfortable!

He’s pretty jealous that Miu get’s to play with the Robot and he doesn’t. Get’s kinda salty about it.

Teruteru once gave him the idea that he should try to serenade Sonia. And so he did! Or at least he tried to. He got over the fence to the girls dorms, ripping his clothes in the prosses. Then when he got to the window (he thought was) of Sonia’s room, he threw a rock that was a bit too big at it, cracking the window and scaring the girl in the room! Waking up the whole dorms and he booked it out of there! 

He attempted this one more time, and was better prepared. But Sonia opened her window to see a Kazuichi dressed in a Ghillie Suit and wearing an army helmet holding a guitar! When he started to sing and play, it was now obvious why Ibuki refuses to let him sing along with any of her music! 

A girl from a neighboring room called the campus security to repot a strange dude outside the Girls dorms, while another one poked her head out of her window and began to throw things at him. 

He left soon after, but was caught by security and reprimanded. Now he refuses to listen to Teruteru has to say about anything.  

Kiibo:

Often get’s bossed around by Mui to get her things. He finds it rather degrading, but when she’s not being bossy, she’s helpful to him. So he puts up with it, as a way of saying thanks. 

One of these tasks he’s asked to do a lot is going over to Kazuichi’s Workshop to barrow tools and such. He hates doing it though, since Kazuichi is always wanting to take him apart. So he does his best to make these visits quick!

Miu gave him the ability to remove some of his heavy armor so he can wear clothing like normal. Surprisingly, This was his idea! He wanted to be able to enjoy the comforts of soft fabrics like most humans. And it would help him blend in a bit better.

Gonta and him get along very well! Mainly due to both of them having a hard time understanding things like sarcasm, harsher jokes, and certain social cues. This usually leads to them both learning at the same time when they hang out!

Miu is his wingman, weather he knows it or not! She’s always wanting to add new functions to him to make him more appealing. One of these is a thin velvet like coating on his armor that’s meant to make his metal less harsh on the skin if you touch him.

Another one of these features is a type of diffuser at the top of his skull under his hair! It releases a pleasant scent into his hair, similar to pheromones. The scent changes based on Kiibo’s emotions. 

Kokichi likes to openly mock Kiibo in front of new people. Like a lot!

Kiibo actually releases steam when he get’s too Angry or Embarrassed, but this is really rare. 

Get’s really curious about Occult, Paranormal, or Religious things. Sure, he finds some of it to be very silly, but he can’t help but wonder why some humans like those things! 

Some holiday traditions he finds weird too, and in some cases, a bit Robophobic. Like giving candy or sweets out on Valentines Day, when....well, he can’t fucking eat it! So he feels excluded in times like that.

He’s really confused about most PDA! Especially kissing! So humans just like...put their mouths together? And that’s like....supposed to mean deep affection? What’s so great about swapping fluids like that? Couldn’t they get sick? QUESTIONS! ANSWERS! HE MUST HAVE THEM!

His Ahoge doesn’t just change shape and move to show emotion, but it also tends to point in the direction that he’s attention is drawn too. Even when he’s trying to pretend he’s not looking at something! His hair is a dead give away!

Has a built in “Cellphone” in his head. Miu added it so it would be easier to contact him if needed. 

Everyone in his class has his number, except Kokichi! And it will stay that way!

.......Until Gonta gave it to him by being tricked into doing it!

And now he has a small panic attack every time his “Cellphone” rings. Praying to all that is good that he doesn’t hear “HEY KIIBOOOOOOOY!~<3″ on the other end!

[sxvxrxssnape]

minerva mcgonagall’s personal mission to make severus love christmas part 5

aka snolidays/snapemas day 11 and 12 (hot chocolate, baking) // pre-PS/the years between. minerva and severus friendship // content warning: panic attack and mentions of lily potter. i feel like this should be considered a snapetober entry oops. word count: 4287  @blog4snape

The night ended with more hot chocolate as the five stood together and watched a choreography of lights move above the pond, creating elves loading a sack full of gifts onto the outline of a waiting sleigh, watched it become glowing reindeer pulling it off the ground, rising in height and getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared and the light show began again. 

It felt like magic and he refused to believe none was involved. 

He fell asleep fully clothed that night, contentment and milk chocolate running through his veins as he begrudgingly made another mark on the imaginary scorecard. 

Minerva was definitely winning.

Saturday was spent finishing the potions for the infirmary, bottling and stoppering the dozens of phials, and methodically scrubbing the cauldrons clean as he read from a book hovering above the wash basin, the pages turning with a flick of his head. 

He dropped the potions off at the hospital wing, secretly pleased that Poppy was far too busy with a floo call to a student’s parents to bother giving him more than a thankful nod and a wave of her hand. He didn’t mind their conversations, but when three students were laid up sick on starched cots, Severus preferred to be as far away from the infestation as possible. 

He spent the night reading, a cup of tea in hand, the soft glow of candlelight nearby to illuminate the words of one of the books he had picked up from Diagon Alley. 

Sunday morning found him sprawled out on the couch in his living quarters, fully dressed once again, with the candles snuffed and the book astray, the teacup still nestled between a cushion and his thigh. 

He spent the day holed up in his office with a correcting quill, the stack of essays he kept putting off, and no less than four packets of crisps. It was dinnertime by the time he finished reading all the scrolls of parchment, his fingers cramping and eyes bleary. He had the beginning of a headache forming, but the grading was nearly caught up on. 

The remainder were short-answer questions, at least.

He wasn’t sure he could sit through another stack of eighteen inch essays for at least another month.

Perhaps two. 

The crisps had made him nauseous, so rather than attending dinner in the Great Hall, he flooed into the staff lounge and helped himself to his precious french press that had been left behind. As the coffee grounds soaked, he glanced around the room and took in the stockings.

There were some new additions.

There were his and Minerva’s - white, cable-knitted with fur trim, bearing their names embroidered in black thread - but also a bright blue with Filius’ initials, a pastel-pink made from crushed velvet with Pomona’s name spelled out in tiny yellow flowers, a black with silver snowflakes bearing Aurora’s family crest, and a neon orange war crime that could only belong to the headmaster. 

All of them had candy canes peeking out. 

There was a tree in the corner now - a tall, proud-looking noble fir - looking like an oversized houseplant when it was devoid of lights and decorations. He finished making his coffee and sat down at the round table, eyeing it carefully.

The rest of the castle was still surprisingly devoid of holiday decorations, but if this tree had already arrived, it was only a matter of time before the rest of it started creeping in. Soon enough, the place would look like a tinsel factory had exploded inside of it and the number of trees within the castle walls would put the Forbidden Forest to shame. 

He scowled at the thought. 

Later, he realized he had spoken too soon. 

Monday morning brought a fresh shower of snowflakes, a drop in temperature, and about thirty-six douglas firs into the Great Hall. These were already decked out with lights, ribbon, and colorful baubles. Some of the trees had clearly chosen sides, cheerily standing tall with the weight of red and gold ornaments, while others were laden with green and silver, blue and bronze, or gold and black. 

Garland clung to the old brick, neatly tied with red ribbon and perfect pinecones, spaced out above the portraits and high, arched windows. 

He didn’t want to think about the rest of the castle. 

There was white chocolate peppermint tea waiting for him at the staff table, so he conceded that not everything that morning was absolutely terrible. 

Tuesday was a bad potions day.

Not for him as a brewer, of course, but as a professor. 

By the time both his classes ended, eight different cauldrons had either melted, exploded, or absolutely disintegrated without a trace. He lost a full jar of moonstones because one student had decided to bring the entire fucking container to her table rather than count them out beforehand like he had advised, and it had taken all his self-control to stop himself from breaking down right in front of the class of sixth years. 

He had collected those moonstones himself, wandering the Forbidden Forest all fucking night, with only a lantern to light the way. They were supposed to last him at least another two months before he would need to venture out again - and the last time he had gone out, he’d nearly sprained his ankle on an upturned root and gotten a tree branch to the fucking face. 

Tuesday evening found him four drinks in, asking the house elves to please bring him some hot, salty chips from a local shop, and when the darling little elf returned with the newspaper cone, he babbled stupidly for two solid minutes from gratitude alone. 

Wednesday was a headache, a blur of back-to-back classes, a lot of frustrated yelling at completely inept students, a full pot of that wonderful white chocolate peppermint tea, and a sudden decision to not assign any more homework for the rest of the year.

Not because the awful little slimeballs deserved a break, but because he did. 

The elves made mushroom and wild rice soup for dinner, alongside everything else they always made, and Severus took more comfort than usual in the hot meal. 

Wednesday night was his turn to patrol the castle, so he stayed up half the night wandering the empty corridors. He pulled his cloak tighter around himself as he entered the Astronomy Tower, groaning as he realized Aurora was still there, carefully packing away her supplies post-lesson. 

“Oh, don’t act like you aren’t glad to see me.”

“Believe me when I say I’m not.” Severus returned, stepping to the edge and looking over the grounds. Most of it was cloaked by shadows, but the silver light from the moon was still enough to softly make out the silhouettes of the greenhouses and Hagrid’s little hut. “What, no comment on how I’m out past my bedtime?”

Aurora laughed, putting a bronze telescope back into its case and fiddling with the straps. “Not this time, no.” She glanced up at him and warned: “But don’t you ever make me miss out on family dinner again or you will regret it.” 

Thursday morning he slept in. 

He barely had enough time to pull on his teaching robes and run fingers through his hair before he had to hightail it to his classroom, frazzled and out of breath. He hadn’t had time to prepare the chalkboard the day before, and was quickly writing out the recipe in his messy scrawl, when the seventh years started filtering in.

“Alright, you’re going to need number three pewter cauldrons today,” he called out over his shoulder, finishing the last line of script. “Fill them with two liters of room temperature water and put your burners on low. Today we’re going to be brewing a more complex -”

“Professor?” 

He scowled at the interruption. “What is it, Mr. Greenwood.” 

“I think your robe might be inside out.”

He blinked and tried not to let his face flush with embarrassment. “Thank you, now as I was saying -” he continued awkwardly, shrugging out of his robe and flipping the sleeves inside out. 

“Your shirt buttons are fucked up too.” 

“Language!” he scolded, swallowing down the sharp coil of emotion building at the back of his throat. “And do not speak to me like that.”

“Hey, you’re the one walking in here, unprepared, with your clothes all fucked.” Greenwood muttered. “Just what were you up to before class, sir?” he grinned, his comment eliciting a few chuckles.

“Detention, Greenwood.”

“Now, wait a second!” the boy faltered.

“Do you wish to make it two?” he asked, his voice dropping an octave as he raised an eyebrow in questioning contempt. “Because we can surely arrange that.”

“No, sir.”

“Good.”

He finished the lesson on autopilot, quickly fixing the buttons on his shirt in the supply closet, fingers shaking nervously as he muttered angrily to himself. He shrugged back into his robes, double-checking they weren’t inside out again, and downed a calming draught on a whim - the shiny light blue bottle catching his eye from its place on the shelf - before returning to his desk. 

He made sure to scowl at each of them in turn and surprisingly enough, not another student made an unwarranted comment about his appearance, his teaching, or even each other. It kept him from reaching for another calming draught when he felt its effects lifting. 

Friday found him having a panic attack.

Then again, if no one opened the door to the broom closet he had squandered in, if no one came face-to-face with his crouched down, fingers tangled in his hair, not-quite-yet-out-of-breath, full body trembling self, could anyone really prove he was having an anxiety attack?

He’d barely made it through his second class and had dismissed the second years twenty minutes early, sans homework - and oh, Merlin, they were going to think he'd gone soft - before attempting to return to his personal quarters.

It didn’t quite work out as planned. 

His knees had felt shaky and he’d felt as if something were gripping at his throat, pressing down on his lungs, and he had to sit down and ground himself before he had a full-on breakdown in the middle of the corridor. He’d found himself stumbling, as he hid behind the closest doorway, the tidal wave of unchecked emotions too much.

His resolve was breaking.

He tried to focus on his Occlumency shields, tried to push back the unfiltered pain and fear he refused to think about - could not think about - because if he did, he was afraid he would never be able to function again. He was afraid he would break.

The dam was already broken though and now, now the rest of it felt inevitable. 

Now he was simply gasping for breath, tears welling in his eyes that he refused to let fall, sitting on the floor of a dusty broom closet, bathed in the dull yellow light that flared whenever it sensed movement, like some sort of spotlight - a beacon honing in on him, existing solely to put his downfall on display. 

Far too many thoughts were flitting around his head, crashing into each other and making it difficult to tell them apart, to pinpoint just what had been the trigger, the reason behind his weakness - because surely, that’s what this was right now: weakness.

Footsteps sounded in the corridor and he tried his best to muffle his ragged gasps, hand curled into a fist and pressed into his mouth, teeth sinking into the pale flesh, threatening to break through from the force he was using, so desperate he was to not make a sound. 

It didn’t work.

The footsteps paused, their owner faltering. 

Voices were speaking from the other side, hushed and mumbled, and with another stroke of panic, Severus realized they belonged to more than one. Students, most likely, and he curled tighter into himself, vehemently wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

“Are you okay?” a hesitant voice traveled through the aged wood. 

He didn’t answer, but he figured his breaths were answer enough.

“Are you having a panic attack?” a different voice called out, sounding just as unsure as the first. “It sounds like you’re really struggling.”

“Do you need help?”

“They probably can’t answer, dummy.” a third voice spoke up, but this one wasn’t addressing him. They were all familiar, but his brain wasn’t letting him process anything to fruition. “Hey, if you can hear us knock on the door.”

He considered ignoring them, but in the end he knocked.

“Good!” the first voice praised. “Alright, knock if we were right about the panic attack.”

Again, he knocked. 

“Do you want help?” the second student asked. “I’ve helped my share of students through these.” He suddenly recognized Casper Jenkin’s voice, one of his seventh year Slytherin prefects. 

He groaned; as if this situation could get any worse. 

“I’m gonna take that as a no.” Oliver Greenwood’s voice muttered, so apparently yes, it could get worse. He was stumbled upon by his own snakes - and his disrespecting seventh years, at that. 

“Do you want us to get someone?” Allison Bone, the original speaker, questioned. “Madam Pomfrey or your Head of House? If you’re all the way down here, you’re probably a Slytherin, huh?”

He choked out a laugh at that. 

“Laughing!” Bone approved. “Laughing is good! That means you’re getting control of your breathing. The worst part of it is over now.” 

“I’m going to open the door, okay?” Jenkin told him, and the doorknob started turning. “It’s probably pretty cramped in there - definitely won’t help.”

“Don’t!” he let out, just as the door opened and he found himself blinking up at his snakes, the three of them blinking down at him, equally dumbfounded, and he wanted to scream at whatever joke of a higher being had shifted the cards enough to lead him here. 

“Oh!”

“Professor Snape?!”

He lifted a shaky hand to his face, brushing back disheveled locks of hair. “Get out.” he whispered, low and angry, not caring about the semantics that it technically didn’t apply. 

“Are you sure you don’t need -” Bone started, then faltered at the growing expression on his face. “Right, we’re leaving.” 

Greenwood eyed him a second longer than his companions, but rather than the teasing glint he usually held whenever addressing him in class, he wore something softer. “Sorry.” he mouthed, genuine concern flickering for a brief moment before he also left. 

He put his head in his hands and started laughing, softly at first, but when it became an ugly sob, he fought to regain his composure, nails digging into his scalp. 

He managed a deep breath, wiped his face on the sleeve of his robe, and hurried to his personal quarters. He was moving on autopilot now, slipping out of his teaching robes and into a jumper, grabbing a bit of floo powder and calling out a quiet, “may I come through?” when the flames turned a brilliant green. 

He stepped into Minerva’s quarters, bypassing her concerned look and collapsed onto the old couch, pointedly ignoring her as he stared at the vaulted ceiling. 

“Severus?”

“Panic attack.” he mumbled.

He remained silent after that, listening to the rustling of parchment and paper, the soft scribbling of a quill nib making its way across the page. For a few minutes, that was the only sound, until suddenly Minerva stood up and opened up the floo. Hushed voices followed, then silence, and he finally sat up when he heard the distinct pop of a house elf apparating into the room. 

Dorset, one of the school elves most identifiable by his height, was balancing a tray on one hand and a heavy-looking box on the other. He placed both on the kitchen table, nodded at the two, and apparated away.

“What’s this?” Severus asked, his voice gravelly and tired, as he stood up and approached the table. 

The box was filled with an assortment of items - butter, eggs, icing sugar, flour, and the like. He could see a bag full of dirigible plums sitting right on top and he smiled despite himself. The tray was holding two ceramic mugs, their contents hidden by the mountain of whipped cream and cinnamon they were topped with. 

“Sit down with me.” Minerva said simply, picking up the tray and bringing it to the couch. She sat down at one end, placing the cups on the coffee table, and waited. When he sat down, facing her, she handed him a warm mug. “I asked for hot chocolate.” she told him, eyeing him carefully. “Specifically the gingerbread one we had last week.”

“I liked that one.” Severus mumbled, staring down at his cup.

“I know.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, sipping on their hot chocolate, and Severus could feel his anxiety slowly ebb away as it was replaced by warm comfort. 

“You look awful.” she finally spoke up.

He smiled ruefully, but it felt more like a grimace. “I appreciate the honesty.”

“Have you noticed, how every time you experience feelings of distress, someone always tends to interrupt before we can talk?” she asked, watching him. “I think we’ve been putting it off long enough, don’t you think?”

“No.”

“We never got to talk about Yaxley.”

“We didn’t need to.”

“We also never finished our conversation about how you ask for my company whenever you venture out of the castle.”

Severus gripped his mug tightly. “You said enough.”

“You still flinch when people touch you.”

“Can you blame me?”

Minerva paused, studying him in a way that left him feeling exposed. “They’re all connected.”

He kept silent.

Her next words were unexpected. “What about Lily?”

“What about her?” he growled out, anger taking hold and manifesting into shaking hands. He swallowed down the bile he could feel rising, the taste of milk and chocolate suddenly acrid on his tongue.

“You never talk about her.”

“That’s because I don’t have anything to say about her!” Severus finally yelled, nearly dropping his mug. He set it on the coffee table and balled his hands into fists, refusing to break eye contact with the professor before him. “Lily died four years ago, but she stopped being my friend long before that! Do you want to talk about the guilt I carry, knowing it was my fault she died? Because no amount of talking, nothing I do will ever be enough to make up for the fact that I killed my best friend! And I hate myself for that, but Merlin, do I hate her too.”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” he burst out, the words he could never dare himself to say aloud now slipping off his tongue without trouble. “She was my best friend and then she sided with them, with him, after what he did to me! And that’s when I knew she was never really my friend! She saw what he - what he did,” he was starting to gasp for air again, “and she still, she - he -” 

He focused on steadying his breathing, arms wrapped around his torso. 

“I don’t.” Severus finally amended, in such a soft voice he wasn’t sure it even carried. “I want to hate her so much - and I am so angry at her, angrier than I’ve ever been at anyone - but I don’t hate her. I can’t. Maybe I wasn’t her friend, in the end, but I know she was mine. I lost so many people in the war, but she’s the one who hurts the most, so no, I don’t want to talk about Lily.”

Minerva hummed. “You sort of already did.”

He scowled.

“Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”

Some of his anger fizzled out as he finished the drink. When they were done, Minerva stood up and started pulling out the contents of the box, lining them up on the counter. He joined her, watching as she leafed through a cookbook he hadn’t noticed. 

“We’re going to do some holiday baking now.”

“Are we?”

“If you’re not going to talk to me about what led to all this,” she gestured in his general direction, “then we’re going to bake some things for the staff party tomorrow.”

He nodded, sighing. “Where do you want me?”

They spent a few minutes in stilted silence, as he washed the bag of dirigible plums and cooked them down into a sauce, stirring in ground cardamom and honey. Meanwhile, Minerva whisked double cream and cornstarch with vanilla sugar and salt, the pot resting over low flames. He added the plum sauce and smiled as it came together and turned into the warm orange color he remembered. 

“What next?” he inquired, after the thickened mix had been poured into a mold and tucked away in the cold cupboard. 

“Biscuits?”

The sugar dough came together easily enough, pale yellow and perfectly smooth, and as they sprinkled flour over the table to roll it out, Severus started fiddling with the holiday cutters. 

“I can hear you thinking.” Minerva spoke up a few minutes later, dusting her hands off on a clean towel. She reached for a tree-shaped cutter and started pressing it into the dough. “Are you ready to talk now?”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Sure you don’t.”

They finished cutting out all their shapes, moved their biscuits into the oven, and cleaned off the kitchen table. Minerva was opening small jars of sprinkles while Severus whisked together icing sugar and egg whites. He focused on dividing the royal icing into small bowls, adding droplets of colored dye and stirring carefully as if they were a temperamental potion, when he finally broached the earlier subject: “They are all connected.”

“Pardon?”

He didn’t look up, merely repeated himself. “They’re all connected.”

Minerva pulled the baking tray out of the oven and cast a cooling charm before bringing the perfectly baked biscuits to the table. Severus picked one up and absentmindedly broke it into pieces. He shared it with Min and picked up another biscuit, carefully dipping this one into the bowl of red icing and shaking off the excess. 

He reached for the star sprinkles. “I try not to think about any of it.”

“You’ll have to, eventually.”

He thought about the broom closet. “I know.”

Minerva dipped a star biscuit into the bowl of yellow icing and handed it over to Severus, who immediately covered it with three different colors of sprinkles. They worked in tandem for a few minutes, dipping and sprinkling all their biscuits, and eventually a spoon was introduced to their project and Severus found himself drizzling thin stripes across some of them.

“I’m giving this one a Dreadful.” Minerva decided, picking up what was supposed to be an ornament, originally dipped in white icing, but then covered with uneven globs of blue. 

“Fair enough.” Severus shrugged, levitating the dirty dishes and moving them to the wash basin, spelling the water on. He picked up a candy cane-shape that had been rolled in yellow and violet sprinkles and then drizzled with green. “This one, however, is deserving of a Troll.”

Minerva spelled the dishes to wash themselves and then raised an eyebrow at him. “Severus, you decorated that one.”

“I’m aware.”

The yule log cake was a little more time consuming to make. He sat down at the table and watched Minerva separate eggs and whisk the whites with sugar until it foamed.

“It would be faster if you spelled the whisk.” Severus offered.

“We tried that once.” Minerva laughed, not slowing down. “It worked great at first, but all of a sudden, the whisk was flinging meringue all over the room.”

“How delightful.”

Meringue was light and shiny and the brightest white he could imagine. Min filled a piping bag with the foam and showed him how to pipe little mushroom tops on the baking paper. When he took the bag from her, he was surprised to find it bore no weight.

“Do you not know how to hold a piping bag?”

“Evidently not.” he grumbled, looking at his hand and the fluff of meringue that had spilled out of the bag and over his hand. 

“You’re supposed to hold the end closed, you numpty.”

“Numpty?” Severus muttered under his breath.

“Elphinstone always did the same thing.” Minerva shook her head, fixing the bag and finishing the job. “No matter how many times I corrected him, that man couldn’t hold it right. Always went off about how he’s the ministry liaison for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Min, I don’t need piping meringue mushrooms in my skill set.” She took in a shaky breath and set down the bag. “See? Perfect.”

“Min-”

“Don’t just stand there, Severus.” she scolded, thrusting the cookbook in his hands. “Get to work measuring the dry ingredients. You can make the cake while I make the frostings.” 

He started sifting flour and cocoa powder. “It’s okay to miss him, you know.”

“Of course I know that.” she humphed, putting the tray in the oven and spelling the dishes clean. She unwrapped a stick of butter and stared at him. “Do you know that?”

“Minerva, I only met your husband twice.” he deadpanned.

She flicked a bit of icing sugar at him. “Don’t be smart with me. I’m not the one repressing all my emotions and pretending they don’t exist until I can’t stave off the impending panic attack and end up crashing in my colleague's quarters because of it.” 

“Fine, you win this one.” he muttered. “You are the pinnacle of mental health, professor.” 

“Excellent.” Minerva grinned, but her smile seemed a little bitter. “Does this mean you’re going to talk to me now?”

“No.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Numpty.” she repeated. 

---- a/n: i was in the mood for angst tm also the ending feels a little rushed but it is 3am rip. im not gonna finish this series by christmas but my goal is new years. time exists in a vacuum anyway and is not real. ps. let me know what you think pls!! it gives me all the seratonin

[peaceisadirtyword]

Rumors (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: I got this request some months ago and I loved it💜 I wrote it a few times, and I should have posted it on Monday, but when I was finishing it... I didn’t like the ending at all, so I had to postpone it until @ivaravi​ helped me💕 so thank her bc I really didn’t know how to continue😅 

I hope you like it! Thank you anon for the request😘

Warnings: Ivar...👀 mentions of sex and... I think that’s all

Words: 3381

gif belongs to @honestsycrets​

Was it him or you looked even more beautiful that day?. When you entered the classroom with a couple of friends next to you, laughing at something one of them said, Ivar could swear you moved in slow motion. Like in movies, when the pretty girl is introduced. 

Ivar tried to look away from you, try not to look like a total creep by watching you. It was nearly impossible, to be honest. 

You said goodbye to your friends as they sat down on their usual seats and asked them to wait for you after the end of the class so you could grab lunch together. And, as always, you walked over to the seat next to him. 

Ivar remembered the first day of class. You were completely alone, being new in town, and sat next to him, asking for permission with a soft blush and a nervous smile. He was so surprised you actually wanted to sit down next to him that he just stared at you for like a minute. 

Since then, and though you had made a few more friends around university, you always sat down next to him in Scandinavian History. 

"Hi" you left your bag on the seat next to yours, sitting down and smiling brightly at him "How are you?"

"Hi" he cleared his throat "I'm... Fine, you?"

"I'm glad" you didn't stop smiling. Ivar hated the fact that he had the urge to smile whenever you did it "I'm fine too, but stressed with exams" you sighed.

"Don't be" he frowned "Just study as much as you can and do them" he shrugged "If you pass, nice, if you fail... Well, you have another chance"

You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 

"Yeah, that's easy to say for you, you're the smartest here" you rolled your eyes smiling playfully "Anyway, I'm not worried about Scandinavian History, I know your notes will be more than enough" you giggled. 

Ivar never gave his notes to anyone. In fact, he barely had notes. Only the subjects he was more interested in. But you could ask him with that smile and, though he'd protest a bit, he'd give them to you. 

You winked at him when he glared at you, annoyed, and turned around to look at the teacher, who was already writing dates on the blackboard. 

Ivar bit his lip and looked at you again, nervously. He had decided to ask you as soon as the class ended. It would be better for when you said no, and he wouldn't have to sit next to you after you rejected him. 

Damn you, Ubbe, he thought taking a deep breath. His brother had been insisting he should ask you out, ever since you came to say hello to him one morning as he was smoking next to his brother's car with Ubbe and Hvitserk. They didn't stop teasing him about it since then, and he had to agree to ask you out so Hvitserk would stop threatening to slide into your DMs. 

"Just tell her you'd like to invite her to dinner or something like that, to talk to her, relax a bit..." Ubbe had said, shrugging.

"Or to the cinema" Hvitserk added, chuckling "If you sit on the back row, you can..."

Ubbe and Ivar had interrupted him then, groaning and rolling their eyes at the same time. Only Sigurd found that funny. 

"Yeah, you should take her to the cinema, Ivar, if you actually talk to her during the date she might realize you're an asshole"

Ubbe had to intervene then. 

The lecture was over too soon. He hadn't paid any attention, but he had already read the book twice, so he didn't really mind. His heart was beating so fast he was scared you'd heard it, and he hated himself for not being able to control his own emotions. 

You were already standing, collecting your things and muttering how long the day was and how you needed a two-year holiday. 

"Y/N"

You turned around to look at him again, an excited smile -probably because it was lunch time- on your face.

"Yes?" 

Ivar took a deep breath, and trying to hide his blush, he looked at you in the eyes. 

"Would you like to go out?" He said quickly, clearing his throat "You know... With me" 

You blinked a couple of times, surprised. Then you had to held back a huge smile. 

"I... Like a date?

Ivar frowned. He felt stupid for asking you, of course you would say no, what the hell was he thinking? And... Were you holding back a laugh?

"I... Don't know, do you want it to be a date? It can be a friendly date, if you prefer..." 

"No, I mean... I'm fine with a normal date" you blushed, trying to hide your excitement. Your fucking crush was asking you out, and you needed to sit down and have a glass of water. 

"Really?" Ivar widened his eyes.

"Yeah, it could be fun" you smiled at him "So... Where do you want to go?" 

"I... Know a place, it's near my apartment" he shrugged "We could go there and have a pizza or..."

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there tomorrow" you nodded, the beautiful smile on your lips made Ivar gulp again "Text me the address, okay?" 

____________________________________

Your friends didn't seem as excited as you. 

They listened to you as you told them excitedly that Ivar had asked you on a date. In fact, you barely ate lunch, too excited and already worried about what the hell you were going to wear. 

"Wait" your friend interrupted you "You're not actually thinking about going to that date, are you?" 

You raised an eyebrow, looking at her confused. 

"What?" 

"We're talking about Ivar" she shrugged "Maybe he will fuck you after the date, but you won't hear from him again" 

"What are you talking about?" You chuckled in disbelief.

She sighed, leaving her fork next to her salad and looking at you again. 

"I know you're new here, Y/N, but you heard the rumors, right?" 

"What rumors?" You bit your lip "Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about" 

"Ivar is not so good with women" she shook her head "He treats them really bad" 

You blinked a few times, with your lips parted and your lunch already forgotten. 

"What do you mean? I mean, Ivar is not the nicest person in the world, I know that but..." You shook your head "He has never treated me like that, and I have never seen him..."

"Remember Margrethe?" She raised an eyebrow.

"The blonde girl that dated his brother? Yes, what about her?" 

"His brothers" she emphasized with a small smile "She hooked up with Ivar too, she told Sigurd he couldn't... Get it up" 

You pressed your lips together when she coughed to hold back a laugh, glaring at her. 

"It's not funny, that happens to a lot of people, and what does that have to do with anything, anyway?" 

"After that" she had the decency to stop laughing, at least "He started sleeping with lots of girls, God, he was even worse than Hvitserk... They always said the same: that after fucking them, he would literally kick them out of his house and ignore them forever" she rolled her eyes "Others said he couldn't even perform, you know" 

You widened your eyes, pushing your plate away. You weren't hungry anymore. 

"Wow" you muttered "I could never imagine he would do something like that..."

"And he's rude, he treats people like trash, Y/N" 

You looked away, frowning a bit with a pout on your lips. 

"But... Who told you all of this?" 

"People" she shrugged "I can't assure you it's completely true, but... I think it is, you can judge by yourself"

______________________________________

You stood just outside the lovely little restaurant. You could see him sitting on one of the tables, talking on the phone, and you felt awful. You nearly didn't come to the date, thinking about calling him and telling him you were sick, scared of what your friend had told you about him. What if it was true? The mere thought of him being such an asshole with girls -girls like you- made your stomach turn, but at the same time... It was pure gossip, and it might not be true, he deserved the chance to explain himself.

You took a deep breath before entering the restaurant. Ivar's eyes looked up when he heard the door, and he muttered something on the phone and hung up quickly, clearing his throat and giving you a small smile. 

"Hi" you smiled back at him "Sorry I interrupted your call" 

"No, it's fine" he shook his head, blushing a bit "It was my mother, don't worry" 

Your smile widened. It was truly hard to believe those gossips when he blushed and looked away in that way. 

__________________________________

"God, this place is amazing" you groaned taking another bite of your pizza. 

Ivar smiled, raising an eyebrow at you. It amused him how fast you could eat a pizza bigger than you. It reminded him to Hvitserk and he immediately knew the two of you would get along very well. 

"Yeah, it's good" he nodded "In the morning they serve breakfast too, the best pancakes in town" 

He remembered you telling him how much you loved pancakes. 

"Really?" your eyes widened. 

"Yes" he chuckled "I'll invite you for breakfast one day if you want to" 

"Oh, I can invite you" you smiled shrugging "But yeah, sounds nice"

Then, you both stayed in silence again. 

Ivar shifted on his seat uncomfortably. His plan was to talk to you about his feelings, as Ubbe advised him. Hey, Y/N, you know, I have like this huge crush on you since I met you and I would love to keep going out with you and see if we can be more than... Friends? Classmates? Whatever the fuck we are now.

Well, maybe for Ubbe that things worked, but for him... Not so much. 

He was terrified that you would reject him, and in front of everyone... He already noticed the stares he got since you sat down with him, and the whispers. There was a group sitting on a table at the end of the room that didn't even try to hide their giggles and their whispers. 

Gods, if you rejected him he wouldn't ever go out of his bedroom, ever. 

You finished your pizza without any effort, drinking a bit of water afterwards while fixing your eyes on him. 

"So..." You cleared your throat "How's everything going? I feel like we never talk about anything that isn't university and classes" you pouted.

"It's... Going well, I think" he felt shy again. Ivar hated that feeling, to be vulnerable and shy in front of people. 

"Everything good with your brothers?" You asked casually, remembering he often came to class annoyed at them "Do you still fight every day?"

"The day we don't fight, I'll stop acknowledging them as my brothers" he raised an eyebrow and you chuckled "But today I only fought with Sigurd" 

"Well, that's a step" you shrugged with a smile on your lips "Hvitserk followed me on Instagram this morning, by the way, he liked all my pics... Is that normal?"

Ivar sighed, rubbing his eyes. He had been teasing him with it during breakfast, but he had ignored him. 

"Yeah, block him" he scoffed, and you laughed. The group on the table at the end of the restaurant looked at you, startled.

"Nah, it was fun" you smiled "Hey, I'm going to pay and then we can go for a walk or something... Are you okay with it, or do you prefer to do something else?" 

He blinked twice, confused, and then shook his head. 

"What? No, no, I'm paying" 

"Ivar, come on" you whined, pouting "You showed me this place and sent me your notes for Scandinavian History, it's the least I can do" 

"But I invited you" he frowned. 

"Then, invite me again" you winked at him before getting up, with your wallet on your hand and walking over to the counter. He sighed, holding back a small smile as he looked out to the window. 

It was raining. 

___________________________________

You entered the Lothbrok's apartment with your hair wet but a big smile on your lips. Even though a walk around the park sounded nice, you were very curious to enter that mysterious apartment that a lot of girls (and boys) on campus wanted to visit so bad. Besides, you were in the mood for a blanket and a good talk, and you were nearly sure that, if the Lothbroks had blankets, you would have both. 

"Sigurd is out" Ivar announced as you took off your coat and your shoes "He left this morning after we fought, and he usually doesn't come home until two in the morning, and Ubbe is working" he shrugged "The only one who could be here is..."

"Hey, Ivar, how was the date, did you fu...?" Hvitserk entered the living room, stopping when he saw you "Oh, you brought her here" he bit his lip and smirked "Hello"

Behind you, Ivar glared at his older brother with his jaw clenched. He'd love to be an only child sometimes. 

"Hi" you cleared your throat, holding back a laugh "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you"

"I know, I stalked your profile this morning" he winked at you and you raised an eyebrow "I had to see if you're good enough for my little brother" he chuckled.

"Hvitserk, weren't you leaving?" Ivar hissed, and you giggled. His older brother rolled his eyes with a big smirk and shook his head as he put his shoes on. 

"Have fun, but don't do anything I wouldn't do" he patted Ivar's shoulder "I left condoms on your bed"

You turned around and pretended you hadn't heard anything, blushing and with your heart racing. Ivar hadn't insinuated he wanted to do anything with you but... What if he actually expected you to have sex with him? It wasn't that you didn't want to but... You were still thinking about what your friend told you, and you'd like to have maybe a couple more of dates with him before getting into bed, right? 

_________________________________

"Ivar, can I ask you something?" 

You knew you had ruined the mood. You were having so much fun playing video games with him on his living room that you had forgotten everything about that stupid rumor. Until then.

"Sure, tell me" he shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. He was much more relaxed than he was in the restaurant. You supposed it was easier for him to relax when there was no one around. 

"I heard... Something yesterday" you bit your lip, your hands playing with the PS4 controller "About you"

Ivar turned his head to look at you. You could see how he got defensive as soon as you pronounced those last words. 

"Yes?" 

You cleared your throat, looking anywhere but him, not sure of how to ask the question. 

"I really like you, Ivar" you started, chuckling nervously "I mean, you're that kind of mysterious guy that no one talks to in class because he looks dangerous, so I liked you since the first day" you muttered, shrugging and blushing "I never thought you could like me back, so I was fine with being your friend, and when you asked me out... I freaked out a bit, to be honest"

Ivar was left speechless. He had gotten nervous and maybe a bit defensive when you said you had heard something about him. He definitely didn't expect you to be so... Direct. He nearly expected you to start laughing and say it was all a joke. Because all of that had to be a joke. 

"But yesterday, when I was all excited about today... My friends told me you have quite a bad reputation with women"

He scoffed, looking away from you with his jaw clenched. Of course you had heard that. He nearly screamed at you, full of a sudden rage that surprised him. 

"And you believed them, didn't you?" 

You frowned, startled by his harsh tone. You expected him to maybe roll his eyes and say it was just a rumor, or explain himself calmly and not giving it too much importance. 

"No, I figured I would talk to you about it first... I thought it was just gossip, but I wanted to ask you" 

"What did you hear?" 

"Just that... You have sex with a lot of girls and then ignore them" you muttered, blushing "And that sometimes you can't... You know" you cleared your throat. 

Ivar glared at you, scoffing before shaking his head. 

"Do you think Hvitserk would give me condoms if I couldn't use them?" He spat, rolling his eyes. 

You looked at him in shock, a bit taken aback by his reply. 

"I... Uh..." You frowned, not really knowing what to say. 

"Look, Y/N" he sighed, rubbing his face "I'm not proud of that, okay? And it's not like I fucked the whole city" he rolled his eyes again. 

"Okay, sorry" you muttered "I shouldn't have said anything... Do you want me to leave?" 

He glared at you again, but held himself back from snapping at you again and took a deep breath to calm down. 

"I don't want you to leave" he softened his tone "Look, you're the first..." He growled "Fuck, you're the first person I really like, Y/N, I've never felt something like this for anyone before you..." He narrowed his eyes, looking at his feet and blushing "Everything started when I tried to have sex with Margrethe... And yes, I couldn't get it up" he pressed his lips together "I told her to shut her mouth, but she told Sigurd, and Sigurd told everyone... Poor Ivar, useless legs and useless cock" he scoffed again, shaking his head softly. 

You listened to him, holding yourself back from hugging him and kissing his cheek.

"So I started sleeping with any girl that would sleep with me" he shrugged "To prove everyone they were wrong, that I could have sex... It was stupid, okay? I know that, and maybe I should have been nicer to them but... How can I be nice to someone that literally was disgusted by my body? I saw their faces when they looked at my legs, that's why I stopped taking off my pants, because they looked at me with pity, with disgust" 

His voice broke a bit, and you bit your lip with teary eyes. 

"They didn't like me" he shrugged "None of them would have wanted a real date with me, they didn't even talk to me afterwards... So yeah, I was an asshole, but I prefer that than being nice to someone who literally hates me" 

"Ivar..." You said softly, a small smile on your lips "Did you ask them?" 

"What?"

"Did you ask them if they wanted a real date with you?"

"No" he frowned "I just knew they didn't"

Your smile widened. 

"Maybe one of those girls was crazy for you" you chuckled "But you were too busy being a dick to even realize"

This time Ivar was the one blinking in confusion. 

"I understand you" you shrugged "I get it, I was just worried I was just another fuck for you, you know, I was scared you brought me here to have sex and then wouldn't talk to me anymore"

"No, I wouldn't... I wouldn't do that to you" he muttered "I like you" 

"I like you too" you tilted your head with an excited smile on your lips.

He smiled a bit, and you giggled before leaning in to kiss him softly. He looked surprised, and his eyes widened as you broke the kiss, blushing and chuckling. Then his hands cupped your face and he kissed you again, smiling against your lips. His arms sneaked around your waist and pulled you closer, making you straddle him as you deepened the kiss. 

"So... do you believe me or do I have to show you I can use those condoms?"

___________________________________________

Tags:  @mblaqgi​ @alicedopey​ @lol-haha-joke​ @hallowed-heathen​ @naaladareia​ @tephi101​ @captstefanbrandt​ @love-hate-love​ @titty-teetee​ @readsalot73​ @moondustmemories​ @thevikingsheaux​ @therealcalicali​ @chimera4plums​ @blushingskywalker​ @awkwardfangirl02​ @gruffle1​ @justacripple​ @love-dria​ @heartbeats-wildly​ @letsrunawaytotomorrow​ @inforapound​ @sallydelys​ @hellogabysblog​ @winchesterwife27​ @hecohansen31​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @xinyourdreamsx​ @funmadnessandbadassvikings​ @eteramfools​ @tgrrose​ @flokidottirsstuff​ @scuzmunkie​ @didiintheblog​

I hope I didn’t forget anyone!😅 thanks for reading😘

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (1990)

ALL RISE FOR THE KING AND QUEEN OF ROMANCIA!

First, we bow to the Actor King of Romancia, Richard Gere. Gere is a DYNAMO of romantic movies, having starred in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, American Gigolo, An Officer and a Gentleman, Sommersby, Autumn in New York, Chicago, Shall We Dance?, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. He was crowned king of this fictionation both because of his film prowess, and because DUDE HAS DATED A LOT OF FAMOUS PEOPLE GODDAMN

Second, we bow to the Actress Queen of Romancia, Julia Roberts.

Roberts’ resume is equally romantic, including films such as Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Eat Pray Love, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. She was crowned queen of this fictionation because, I mean...it’s Julia Roberts, man. Who else was gonna be queen, Meg Ryan? She’s too busy ruling the Holy Romance Empire.

Yes. Yes, I will be visiting the Holy Romance Empire soon.

Anyway, one of the advisors to this great land was the now sadly passed Garry Marshall, a seasoned romantic movie director, responsible for The Princess Diaries (and its terrible sequel), Beaches, Runaway Bride (shit, should I watch this one?), and those bad holiday romance movies from the late 2000′s. You know, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day? Yeah, that’s the guy.

Marshall was appointed an advisor of Romancia because of his role as director of the film...you know.

Enough navel-gazing; let’s get into Pretty Woman, shall we? I, for one, am looking forward to venturing further into the land of Romancia! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at a party where...George Costanza?

Huh! Phil Stuckey (Jason Alexander), a lawyer and kind of an asshole, is romancing women at a party, held on the behalf of Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), a businessman from New York. However, he’s currently in California away from his unhappy girlfriend back east, who’s feeling a tad neglected by the constantly busy Edward.

Meanwhile, on a less-than-great side of town lives Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts), a prostitute working the mean streets of Hollywood. Making her way to the red-light district, she enters the Blue Banana Club (which is...a name, that’s for sure), where she finds her roommate Kit De Luca (Laura San Giacomo). Laura’s unfortunately spent their rent on drugs, during the height of the cocaine epidemic in Hollywood.

The two meet each other on the street, where Edward’s lost, and struggling with Phil’s stick-shift Lotus Espirit. She offers to give him directions for money, and he reluctantly accepts. She gets in, and guides him back to his hotel. As he struggles to drive, she displays her knowledge of cars from back home. He then offers to drive the car for him, and also shows her prowess as a driver. Which...is pretty neat.

He asks how much she makes in her profession, as the two roll up to his hotel. As they begin to part ways, he asks her instead to accompany him into the hotel. She’s about as charmed and gawky as I would be going into a sick-ass hotel like that. The elevator in it has a FUCKING SOFA INSIDE, YES PLEASE

Edward’s a little embarrassed by her gawking, but they quickly get past it. Edward’s graveyard-still complacency is contrasted by her manic pixie energy. Not that she’s a manic pixie dream girl...I think. It’s more of a “rock-and-balloon” relationship deal. When Vivian busts out the condoms (she’s a “safety-girl”), Edward instead says he wants to “talk.”

During this talk, it’s revealed that his girlfriend has officially broken up with him, leaving him conspicuously single. He asks if she can stay the entire night, and she agrees for a price, to which he gladly agrees. They spend the night getting to know each other, although Edward is doing business during much of it. And she’s watching TV, and it gives off these kinda weird daddy-daughter vibes (not kink-shaming, mind you), and it’s...mildly uncomfortable.

This quickly progresses into her beginning to seduce him, and the two presumably have sex. We cut away just before anything happens, though. Afterwards, Edward takes a shower, as Vivian falls asleep, taking her wig off for the first time.

The next morning, Edward talks to Phil about an upcoming business purchase, when Vivian walks into the room. He’s ordered breakfast for them. ALL OF THE BREAKFAST. Seriously, everything on the menu. Motherfucker, do you KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ROOM SERVICE IS? WE GET IT YOU’RE RICH

He reveals just how rich he is, noting that he buys companies on the brink of failure, and then sells pieces of the companies he buys. Vivian equates this to a chop-shop, which seems extremely accurate. On another call, Phil tells him that it would be better if he had a date. And it looks like...he already has one.

Yeah, Phil “hires” Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week. For $3000, she accepts, and I feel just a little icky. And yet...I dunno, we’ll see. He’s doing this purely to avoid romantic attachment, which is a little weird, but understandable? Maybe?

At this point, we get one of the most iconic scenes in the film, as the uptight women at a Rodeo Drive store tell her to leave, like assholes. They’ll get their comeuppance, though. OHHHHHH, THEY’LL get it. This compounds when the hotel manager, Barnard “Barney” Thompson (Héctor Elizondo), questions her presence there. And while it seems that he’s going to kick her out, he actually helps her out with an outfit.

Meanwhile, Edward’s business deal begins to go somewhat south, until Edward takes advantage of GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. Anyway, Vivian goes to a local department store, where Barney’s friend Bridget (Elinor Donahue) helps her out with a cocktail dress. When she heads back, Barney acts like a bro once again and teaches her proper etiquette, Emily Post style.

Edward heads back to the hotel, where Vivian is waiting for him. And she looks cuuuuuuuuuuute. Edward thinks so, too, and they head to the corporate dinner. There waitselderly businessman James Morse (Ralph Bellamy), and his grandson David (Alex Hyde-White). We get a taste of just how vicious of a businessman Edward is, and Vivian makes a much better impression on the Morses than Edward does. Also, Eddie’s kind of a sociopath, huh? Or, at least, he has some sociopathic tendencies. I dunno his pure emotionlessness is rubbing me a weird way.

After the dinner goes VIOLENTLY south, the two begin to relate to each other a bit more. He notes that he prefers not to bring emotion into business, although he apparently does like Mr. Morse. He also notes that his father died a month ago, but it doesn’t appear to affect him much. Still he heads downstairs to get some air. Later, Vivian gets the bellhop, Dennis (Patrick Richwood) to help her find him, and she does. He’s playing piano like a GODDAMN MANIAC HOLY SHIT! Just like, “Don’t mind me, I’m just playing an operetta to PUT THE KNIFE FEELINGS TO SLEEP IAMTHEZODIACKILLER.” This manic performance is followed by the two just...fuckin’ on the piano. They just FUCK IN THE LOUNGE RIGHT ON THAT PIANO JESUS CHRIST GUYS

The next morning, post-musex, they go to get outfits together, in which Gere buys a massive set of outfits, and we get the first makeover montage this month! He also flashes even more sociopathic flair with a clothing store owner, goddamn. And that’s...when we get the song.

I mean, we had to get this song in here at some point, right? She also engages in the most iconically HUGE moment of the film. You know what I’m talking about, and it’s beautifully cathartic, my Lord.

Meanwhile, at work, Edward’s starting to...lose it, I guess? As Phil’s encouraging him to close in on Morse for the kill, Edward’s beginning to grow a heart. And may I note that he’s been in this relationship for TWO DAYS. Jesus, buddy, you’ve really never had a meaningful relationship, huh? They eventually go to a polo match for business reasons, here Phil finally meets Vivian. Vivian also notices that none of the high-society people here seem like, well...friends.

Turns out that David Morse is one of the polo players, and Vivian starts to speak with him. Phil, meanwhile, notices this, and suspects her of being a corporate spy. And Edward, like an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, tells her that Vivian’s a prostitute. Phil LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER HER, and solicits her like a fucking CREEP.

This obviously very much upsets her, and she chews Edward out back at the hotel. And the argument that follows IMMEDIATELY puts me on Vivian’s side, because Edward’s being a sociopathic douchenozzle. Goddamn. She rightfully wants to leave, and he just lets her. And here’s the real kicker; she doesn’t take the money.

And that’s when Edward sincerely apologizes to her, as best as he can. And yeah, he’s a little sociopathic, but I can see that the dude is trying? The two make up, and once again open up to each other. Edward starts to realize, in turn, that he legitimately has feelings for her. And we head into the third act of the film.

The next day, Edward leaves work early to go on a date with Vivian, and Phil asks if the date is with “the hooker.” And Edwards flashes him a look that’s just...knifey. I’m still not convinced he isn’t the Zodiac Killer. He takes her to an opera in San Francisco, before which we get this scene.

Adorable. God, I love Vivian. Also Dennis and Barney are the best, and they’re super fucking invested, and I am HERE for it. Their date to the opera is...sublime. Understand, my girlfriend and I watched this entire film together, and we’re both in love with Vivian and the opera after it. Imma take her to the opera on a date one of these days, I swear it.

That night, they play chess together, and Edward actually takes the following day off. He also actually sleeps in a bed for once, instead of going to work. And this is when my girlfriend the following phrase:

Is he sculpting her, or is she sculpting him?

OK, that fantastic question is one of the reasons we’re together, but also a very interesting point. Lemme explain here. This is very much a Pygmalion story in a few ways. While not a straight adaptation by any means, this film is definitely taking a few ideas from the Pygmalion trope. See, if you don’t know, Pygmalion’s a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with his statue. It’s been adapted multiple times throughout the history of the arts, but the most prominent version of this was the stage musical My Fair Lady, famously adapted into a film starring Audrey Hepburn in 1964.

And again, a lot of adaptations of that, too. While Pretty Woman isn’t explicitly an adaptation of either work, the themes are still present in the work. So, yeah, it’s a good point. In this version, she’s changing him as much as he’s changing her. The sculpture is sculpting the sculptor. Which is cool.

And then, as we had that cute little revelation, Vivian tells Edward that she loves him. And OH FUCK. It’s the last day. And when he says he doesn’t want this to be the last of them together, she takes it as romantic. But when he essentially proposes making her a beck-and-call girl, putting her up in an apartment and hooking her up with dresses...she’s understandably not interested. She says that, as a little girl, she dreamed of a white knight that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. But Edward isn’t that knight.

Have I mentioned how much I love Vivian? Because Vivian’s fuckin’ fantastic, Jesus Christ.

Edward decides to leave, and says that he’s done all he can at this point. He leaves, and she’s shattered. Kit, meanwhile, comes to visit her at the hotel, and she admits that she’s fallen in love with him. While Kit’s initially worried about it, she says that they could maybe settle down and buy some diamonds and a horse. I also love Kit.

Meanwhile, at the meeting with Mr. Morse, Edward turns the tables on Phil and his yes-men, and asks to speak with Mr. Morse alone. Phil’s gobsmacked by this, but agrees. Once they’re alone, Edward admits that he no longer wishes to buy his company and destroy it. Instead, he wants to help him rebuild his company. And Morse agrees, telling Edward that he’s proud of him.

Phil, EXTREMELY irritated by this, and decided to make his way to talk to Edward at the hotel. And that’s when he finds Vivian. FUUUUUUUUCK. As expected, Phil tries to r*pe her, and that’s when Edward shows up, and BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.

Edward tells Phil off, calling him an EVEN BIGGER sociopath than he is, and kicks him out. Friendship ended with Phil. Now Vivian is his best friend. But despite this, Vivian still realizes that their relationship, at least the one she wants, seems impossible. Conceding, and on his way back to New York now, Edward pays her, and tells her to call him if she ever needs anything. 

But he asks her to stay one more night with him, not because of money...BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE. And she replies that she can’t...and they part ways. Vivian goes to say goodbye to Barney, who still rules. He calls a cab for her, and says that she can visit them anytime. My girlfriend says that she would leave me for Barney, and I agree. I agree so much, because she deserves the best, and the best is Barney, and I could never BE Barney. 

I could never be Barney.

It’s over now, as the song in the background says, and Edward laments his lost relationship as the thunder rolls in. Vivian decides to finally go to San Francisco, and finish high school, inspired by Edward’s love and faith for her. She passes that faith onto Kit as she says goodbye. Fuuuuuuck, man, this goodbye hurts as well.

Edward goes to the lobby, and talks to Barney one last time. AND BARNEY TELLS EDWARD WHERE VIVIAN WENT, LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION. WHY CAN’T I BE AS PERFECT AS BARNEY????

He makes his way to her apartment, and buys flowers from a woman with a Cockney accent, WHICH IS A MY FAIR LADY REFERNCE! HOLY SHIT! He arrives in a white limo at her place, overcomes his fear of heights and climbs a fire escape in a metaphorical tower to rescue his princess. 

THAT’S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! And it’s Pretty Woman as well. That was a very heartwarming film, and I’m very glad that I watched it! Is it perfect? Ehhhhhhhh, see you at the Review.

[moonstruckbucky]

Come Over (6/7)

Summary: You’re new to New York City. Fresh out of post-grad and wanting a change of pace, and this change comes in more ways than one.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader. Neighbor AU.

Warnings for Chapter: ....Smut. There’s smut ahead. And this is fucking long. And I’m sorry?

Notes: It’s the penultimate chapter, guys! I can’t even believe it. I would really, really love some feedback on this one! Enjoy x

Series Masterlist //  Main Masterlist

Bucky is early the morning of Thanksgiving. The knock itself is quiet, as if he’s pulled his knuckles back too soon. Still it startles you, has your hand jumping and nearly impaling your eye with the mascara wand.

A hissed “dammit”, you set it down, double-check your eye that it hadn’t smeared, hurry to the door as that soft knock sounds again. All the air leaves your lungs in a whoosh. Being his neighbor, you’ve seen him in various states of dress, but never like this.

Hunter green looks good on him, you decide. The satiny material looks about ready to give where it’s stretched across his broad chest. A flat plain of forestry you want to trace and memorize with hands and tongue. Dark charcoal dress pants wrap tightly around his thick thighs, and your mouth waters. Shiny black dress shoes cap off the outfit. Your neighbor is a tall drink of water and goddamn are you parched. Subconsciously you lick your lips.

His clearing throat jostles you, eyes snapping up to his. They’re glittering, those crystalline eyes of his that pull you in like a lighthouse beacon. The edge of his mouth is turned upward, a sure sign that you’ve been caught ogling him, too lost in the beauty of him to notice he’d done the same to you.

You cough lightly, poorly covering yourself. “You’re early. C’mon in. I’ll be done in twenty.”

His body brushes by yours as you step to the side, cocoons you in his warmth and a clean, fresh scent with a hint of spice. Eyes flutter closed, deep breath in and then out to compose yourself, give yourself the confidence to get through today without ending up a puddle on the floor. Bucky’s seated on the couch, flipping through a magazine with Tony Stark on the cover. It’s the newest issue—the first publication of the upcoming “super suit” demo and he flips right to it, already engrossed.

You duck past him back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. A few more touches to your makeup, a pair of black tights, black boots, and a light jacket, and you’re ready. Bucky turns his head when he hears your heels on the floor, eyes widening just a fraction, but you notice. You notice everything when it comes to him. He rises slowly, and it’s almost comical. Like that scene in a teen romance where the girl, in her beautiful prom dress, descends the stairs and her date is rendered speechless, jaw dropped, eyes full of adoration.

“You, uh.” Voice cracks, clears his throat, tries again. “You look really nice.”

Your smile is easy, gentle, a little bashful as your cheeks flush. “Thanks, Bucky. Shall we?”

His answering grin is just as bright, just as easy, as natural. He holds out his elbow. “We shall.”

The drive to your parents’ is spent chatting back and forth, mostly about the new projects you’re allowed to talk about. Bucky’s enthusiasm is addicting, makes it easy for you to just keep going. You almost feel badly about doing all of the talking, but the excitement on his face covers it up, and his responding questions are eager and hurried, like he can’t get them out fast enough. Conversation with Bucky is easy. He makes it easy.

You’ll come to realize later that Sharon is far from both of your minds. So far, nothing could sour this day.

Clint and your family are extremely welcoming when the two of you arrive. Clint takes your coat and purse, claps Bucky on the back and leaves you to do the introductions. Your mother raises an eyebrow, aims it at the two of you and inquires how long Bucky’s been seeing her daughter. Matching blushes creep up your necks and without thinking, you take a step sideways, put space between you because you hadn’t realized just how close you’d been standing to him.

“Mom, we’re—we’re not dating. He, uh, he has—”

“I’m her neighbor,” Bucky interjects with a charming smile. The look on your mother’s face clearly says yeah, right, but she moves the conversation along, asks Bucky about his work and gets lost in his stories about the tattoo shop.

Clint comes up behind you, where you’ve moved to the small bar in the kitchen and have poured yourself a hefty glass of wine. Judging by the sly, fleeting looks your mother sends you, you’re going to need it.

“Mom seems to be digging in the claws,” Clint murmurs, pulling from his beer. You hum around your wine glass. “She doesn’t buy the neighbor bit, does she?”

“How could you tell?” you deadpan. Despite your concern your mother will spill something she’s not meant to, you’re relieved Bucky seems to fit in with your family.

Your parents have hogged him mostly, though Clint’s stepped in here and there to help him along, but his eyes are never far from you. Every few minutes they’ll find you, sparkle under the dim kitchen lighting, before he looks away again to give your family his full attention again. Once or twice, he sends a wink that warms your body more than your wine does. Oh boy, are you in trouble.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Sam arrives not too long after to break up the growing tension between Bucky and you. He greets Bucky excitedly, hugs him like he would a brother, offers him another beer from the fridge that Bucky accepts. The grin on Bucky’s face, the rumbling echo of his laughter, the lightness in his features all do horrible, horrible things to your belly and your heart, and you have to duck out of the room and find Laura, distract yourself, before you do something stupid.

She must see it on your face when you drop beside her on the couch in the living room. Cheeks rosy red, and not just from the wine, pupils dilated just a bit with a few tiny beads of sweat at your hairline. Laura and Clint had been together off and on since high school, until your brother manned up and proposed to her while out on their anniversary date. He’d taken her on a whale watch in Nantucket, something she’d always wanted to do. She said yes through a bout of sea sickness.

“You’ve got it bad,” she tsks, the ring on her left finger sparkling and tinkling against her wine glass. You groan.

“Don’t remind me.”

“Why’s he with that she-witch again?”

You hurry to shush her, glance over your shoulder to make sure you’re not heard. “Jesus, Laura. I don’t know why, okay? From what he’s told me they don’t even click anymore. Except...in the bedroom, which I can hear usually.”

Laura’s frown is sympathetic, both for your ears and for your heart. It doesn’t really make you feel any better, and despite how close the two of you have grown since you moved in, you still haven’t quite found it within you to tell him to break it off. Sharon’s already wary of you, though whether that’s from her rising insecurity or because you’re not hiding your feelings as well as you think you are, you’re unsure. The last thing you want is to stick your nose where it’s not wanted.

You and Laura go back and forth, straying from the taboo topic of Bucky’s relationship, until the men enter the living room. Bucky grasps a fresh glass of wine for you. You can feel Laura’s smirk from where you sit, hide your blush behind a long pull of the bitter red. Bucky sits beside you on the couch, close enough his thigh touches your knee where your leg is tucked up under you.

“Thank you,” you murmur once you’ve drained half the glass, tongue swiping over your top lip for the excess. You miss the slight dilation of his pupils, the way his chest rises with a deep inhale.

“Sure, doll.”

Your insides twist at the nickname and on the other sofa Laura smirks. Subtly, you flip her the bird and she snickers into her glass of water. Conversation buzzes between all of you, and you have to really focus on it instead of how warm Bucky is beside you. Maybe you should lay off the wine.

When your mother calls that dinner is ready, you’re the first one out of your seat. Clint makes a comment with a knowing grin.

“I’m hungry, dammit,” you snark back with a smirk. The others laugh a little, and you all find your seats.

Bucky pulls yours out for you before he takes his, a charming little side grin that sets your stomach to fluttering. You’re not sure if it’s just because the holiday has him in a good mood or if he’s purposely laying on the charm. Probably a bit of both.

He captures your attention over dinner, holds it as he converses with your family. You know your ‘heart eyes’ as Wanda would call them are on full fucking display, but it’s getting harder and harder to hide how you feel. Especially when he makes a dad joke that has your father howling with laughter. Sam nearly chokes on his beer. He clearly adores them, and it appears the sentiment is mutual.

And while your stomach feels like it’s flying, your heart suddenly takes a nosedive. The realization that he won’t be yours is heavy in your gut, icy tendrils slithering up to your throat to choke you. Pressure behind your eyes, a rising need to get away for a minute. It’s too much, knowing he isn’t yours when he damn well should be.

The chair scraping across the floor cuts through the conversation, halts it as everyone watches you in confusion. Your eyes are shiny, blurring all of their faces, so you keep your head down with a muttered “excuse me”.

A sharp, deep breath that’s almost painful once you’re locked away in the upstairs bathroom. Where you know no one will hear you as you let out a sob into your arm. For a little while it’s a gross mess of snot and tears and smudged makeup you wipe away with a tissue, only to have another black rivulet sliding down your face. The pent-up longing, confusion, and outright love comes pouring out, unable to be held back.

Nose stuffy, eyes crimson, you know you’re a mess and you’re going to have a hard time explaining it away. A rap of knuckles on the door, momentary fear that it’s Bucky coming to check on you, a rapid search for an excuse. More tissues swiped under your eyes and your best attempt at composure.

You open the door just a crack, surprised and relieved to see Sam instead of Bucky. His smile is sad, understanding, as if he knows exactly what’s in your head. You swing the door open a little wider, enough that he can get his body through to tug you into his chest. Large hands sliding up and down your back as you fight back another round of waterworks.

“This sucks, Sam,” you whisper. Eyes drift closed, squeeze, when he kisses your forehead and shushes you.

“I know, honey. You need to tell him, or don’t. Start dating, help yourself move on. Do something because I hate seeing you in pain.”

“I can’t tell him, Sam,” you murmur, stepping out of his space. You wipe your nose with your soggy tissue. “How could I put him in that position? I guess...maybe I’ll see if Wanda knows anybody…”

Sam smiles gently, tucks your chin with two fingers and nods his head towards the stairs. “C’mon. Let’s get through dinner and dessert.”

You’re nearly ready to cry again when Bucky lays worried eyes on you. You manage to choke it down, wave him off as you retake your seat. He tries to catch your eye but you avoid it, pointedly look to your other side. Your mom rests her hand on yours, a silent question. You smile faintly and nod, give the others a nod as well, and dinner resumes. It’s a little less light, less jovial, but soon Sam has everyone chortling again.

Your mood slightly improves once dinner is over and dessert begins. You’re laughing with Laura and Sam, Clint rolling his eyes because he’s the butt of the joke. Bucky’s a little quieter now, still perturbed from your earlier breakdown. You dread the car ride home, knowing he’ll ask you what it was about.

You gorge yourself on pie—apple and pumpkin because your mom is an exceptional baker. By the time the dishes are cleared from the table, you feel like you’ll have to be rolled out of the house. But then you remember who you’re riding home with and immediately volunteer to do the dishes for your parents if only to push that off a little longer.

Laura, bless her soul, doesn’t ask you about it. Instead, she asks you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Immediately you say yes, and the following conversation is a pleasant distraction from your earlier embarrassing episode. But there are only so many dishes and eventually, your time runs out.

Bucky and you bid goodbye to your family, your parents hoping they see Bucky again (thanks for that, Mom) and Clint promising to have a guys’ night soon. You barely feel his hand on your back as the two of you walk out to the car, breaths expelling in puffs in the cold November air. Immediately you crank the heat once the car is on, turning up the radio when a soft classic rock song comes on.

Bucky doesn’t ask you until you’re about halfway home. “You wanna tell me what that was about?”

It’s slow, deliberate. The chance to spill your guts, risk everything. He’s giving you the choice and you almost want to take it.

Almost.

“I’m okay,” is your reply instead. I’m fine is too much of a giveaway that you’re not. He’s quiet in the other seat, jaw muscle jumping and eyes sweeping outside the front windshield, but he nods, lets you have this because you can’t. Can’t say it, can’t cross that line with no hope of stepping back over it.

In the hallway outside your apartments, he thanks you, kisses your cheek, and it feels an awful lot like goodbye.

Two weeks. Fourteen days, three hours, and thirty seven minutes have gone by since you’ve last seen Bucky. You’ve heard him, walking through his apartment, on the phone, his door opening and closing as he comes and goes.

But not once do you ever see him.

It’s obvious he’s avoiding you, and once the initial confusion and sadness fades, anger takes over. What right does he have to avoid you? You’ve done nothing wrong except maybe get your heart tangled up somewhere it shouldn’t have been, pined for someone who’s unavailable. But are those crimes really so heinous? 

When the anger fades, resignation settles in. You’d been too obvious, it seems, especially near the end, so he’s backed off, given you room to sort your feelings and shove them away. But it’s easier said than done. In the time you’ve lived here, Bucky has somehow taken root inside your heart, spread himself out within it and dug his thorns in. With each beat of your heart, they pinch a little more, leave a sharp ache in their wake. He’s implanted in you, unable to be shaken, like a giant redwood towering above the others, shading and guarding. But at the same time, smothering.

Another week goes by. The demo goes well; no injuries, and aside from a minor short-circuit, it’s a success. Investors scramble for possession of the super suit. It keeps you occupied, your mind off your suddenly-absent neighbor when before he only seemed to be ever-present. Always popping out of his apartment as you were leaving or arriving. At the mailbox when you came home from work. His absence is, to your displeasure, heavily felt.

Until there’s a knock on your door one Friday evening. If a knock could be hesitant, this one surely is. It’s slow, a long beat between the first and the second. Like the knocker almost wanted to turn tail after the first but changed his or her mind.

He stands before you, arms crossed, hands tucked under them, shoulders hunched and head ducked. Looking every bit a kicked puppy. At first, you’re ready to chew him out, let him have it for ignoring you when you’re not the one at fault.

But a sniffle from the hulking man before you makes you freeze.

“Buck?” you question on a whimper. He looks up, lifts his chin away from his chest, and your heart stutters, stalls completely at the tears running down his face. “Bucky, god, what happened? Come in.”

His arm is hot where you grab onto him, tug him into your apartment. His feet are bare, as if he hadn’t had time or care to find socks, much less shoes. You know you should be angry with him, are such underneath, but it’s easy to brush it aside when he’s so obviously hurting.

He takes up half your couch when you sit him down, offer him tea to which he barely nods. It only takes a few minutes, but Bucky’s damn near sobbing again when you return with the hot mug. It burns a ring into your coffee table but it’s ignored in favor of wrapping Bucky in the blanket you keep on the back of the couch for lazy movie nights in.

He tugs it up to his nose, calms himself by taking a few deep breaths. Those oceanic eyes glimmering again with tears and it breaks your heart all over again. You’ve never seen a man look so broken, so lost.

“Bucky?” you ask, lay a hand on the blanket over his knee. His eyelids flutter as he looks over at you, eyes clearing just a bit in realization, and he seems to recoil in embarrassment. It’s visible, the wall he tries to throw up but you grasp at his hand when he reaches to rub at his face. “Bucky, what happened?”

He sniffs hard, coughs a bit to clear his throat, and mumbles, “I don’t know why I came here.”

It stings, but he continues, “You’re mad at me. You should be.”

Fingers lace between his tattooed ones, squeeze reassuringly. “Bucky, the only thing I am right now is concerned. What happened?”

“Sharon came home, uh, yesterday. We’ve been fighting more.” You don’t say anything; you’ve heard him through the walls enough recently. “She came home, apologized, we made up. She went in to take a shower this morning, left her phone on the nightstand. You know, I never realized she locks her phone now. Never even crossed my mind. Has a password and everything. Well, it, uh, it went off, and I looked at it. The preview anyways. It was a photo, from what I could see from some guy named Rob.”

You feel like your heart plummets into your stomach. You don’t need him to finish before you’re wrapping yourself around him as he begins to cry again. Your own eyes burn with suffering, with the obvious heartbreak in his voice, in his eyes.

“Bucky, I’m so sorry,” you whisper. His hair is silk as your fingers card through it, nails scraping gently along his scalp, the back of his neck. 

His face is tucked into your neck, breath hot against the skin there, and you have to push aside the realization that it brings goosebumps to your arms. His massive arms wind around you, tug you closer as he lets out all of his anguish. Months of arguing, of insecurity, of pointless arguments have all come to fruition, come to a sharp, jagged head that you swear you can feel yourself. It’s all laid out for you to feast your eyes upon.

His kiss is unexpected, makes your eyes fly open and hands to tightly grasp his wrists where his cup your face. It tastes of his tears, salty-sweet, and while your heart soars and tries to relish it, your brain jumps in.

“Bucky.” It’s weak on your tongue, but you tighten your grip on his wrists and attempt to pull back.

“Please,” is his sobbing beg, cheeks shiny with new tears, “please, I need…”

To feel something, are the unspoken words, something besides this heartbreak.

You give in. You let him pull your mouth back to his, let him part your lips with his tongue. It’s heaven, kissing him, and it’s so overdue. So goddamn overdue. You whimper against his mouth, against the wet curl of his tongue, and you can feel when it shifts. The atmosphere, the kiss itself. It becomes less about curing his heartbreak and more about his desire for you.

He lifts you from the couch, whines when you wrap your legs around his waist and grind against him. Hands fisting in his hair to wrench his head back and latch your lips onto his neck. It’s exhilarating, having this mountain of a man at your control. He finds his way to your bedroom, grunts an apology when he knocks your bottom against the door frame. 

You sigh when he sits at the edge of your bed, his large hands cupping your ass and pulling you into him, into the hard length of him tenting his sweatpants. It’s too much and not enough all at once, feeling the firm planes of him under you. Shuddering when he slides his hands under your shirt, you let him strip you of it. You’re braless, your bare breasts on full display for him and the heat of his gaze raises goosebumps on your arms.

Part of you wants to cover up, but the sheer awe and adoration on his face makes you bold. You scramble off his lap, stand before him and tuck your fingers into the waistband of your own sweats. They pool at your feet, and you’re naked for him. His gaze alone takes you apart, like fire as it rakes over your form.

His broad chest heaves as he lifts a hand to reach for you, but you dodge it, sink gracefully to your knees instead. Bucky’s eyes go wide and his cheeks fill with pink. Jaw muscles jump with the need to tell you, you don’t have to.

But you’ve been waiting to have Bucky, all of him, and you’d rather die than wait any longer.

He offers no resistance when you tug on his pant legs and raises his hips. They’re tossed elsewhere, and you smirk when you see he too is bare underneath. With one hand he reaches behind his head and tugs his shirt off, and dear God, you nearly want to faint.

Every inch of him is sculpted muscle, adorned beautifully with tattoos in both black and grey and in vivid color. He’s magnificent, and right now, he’s yours. The moan that pulls from his throat when you wrap your hand around him is music to your ears, a beautiful sound that sends wet heat straight to your core. You feel it between your thighs as you kneel, brace yourself on his thigh, nails scraping gently across the sensitive skin and the coarse hair there.

A small taste, a flick of your tongue along the underside of him. A strangled hiss from the man above you, who leans back on one hand, cards the other into your hair. You mouth at his length, velvet-covered hot steel, beautiful to match the rest of him. Tease him to madness with your tongue and hand. A curl of the hot muscle around his glistening tip and he tenses, falls back against the mattress.

“Fuck,” he nearly shouts as you take him in your mouth finally. Warm, wet, and soft as you sink down on him inch by agonizing inch. He peers down, almost comes on the spot when you gaze back at him, pretty pink lips stretched wide around the girth of him. He has to close his eyes as he groans, fingers clenching in your hair.

It’s torturous, the pace you set. A warm glide up and down his shaft, your free hand teasing his balls, heavy and soft in your hands. It’s maddening for you, the sounds you pull out of him cause your thighs to clench. He twitches in your mouth, heady and tangy and something you decide is just him, and you pull away. His chest deflates as he exhales, a near whine in the back of his throat.

But then you’re straddling him, leaning over to kiss him deeply. Bucky’s inked arms snake around you, his stomach muscles shifting and clenching as he sits up, rolls the two of you over. He’s solid and heavy above you, wet from you where he pokes your inner thigh. He smiles against your mouth as you gasp at the intrusion of his fingers at your core. Slides them up and down and then finally, inside, and as he moves them, a twitch of your hips. It’s a beautiful fullness, but it isn’t enough.

“Bucky,” you moan, lay your head back and let him ravage your throat, your bare breasts. His tongue swirls a nipple, blunt teeth tug at the bud until it's pert and erect. You need him. Like air in your lungs you need him. You tell him as much.

He resettles over you, withdrawing his fingers, ruts his length against you before taking himself in hand. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he presses in. A gasp that’s swallowed by his mouth, an echoing groan as your walls stretch to accommodate him. You’re so tight around him, he thinks he might burst.

“G-God,” he sighs, forehead pressed to yours. He bottoms out, waits, meets your eyes when they flutter open. He’s so beautiful above you, dark hair in his face, nothing but pure want and love in his eyes. You see it, know he sees it mirrored on your own face. No more hiding.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he admits as his hips pull back. You shudder at the drag of his cock. He’s nearly completely gone from you and he halts there, just the smooth tip of him inside. He slams forward, punches a cry from your throat. “So long.”

A steady pace, slow but god, is it deep. Plants his knees wide and opens your legs wide. You’re so full, it’s so much, but you beg him for more.

“Oh - Bucky, please.”

He braces his hand beside your head, the other pushing your hair out of your face as he leans on the elbow. Hands on his sides, his back, his ass, anywhere you can reach for more. Buck your hips to meet him, send him deeper. He grits his teeth when you toss your head back and moan, loud enough he’d be able to hear it next door.

“James.”

It sets something off in him, something primal. And in the back of his head he remembers how Sharon always called him James, but it has nowhere near the same effect as you calling him that. It’s heaven on your tongue and he kisses you deep, tongue and clashing teeth and he pulls your hand from his back. Laces your fingers together and presses them deep into the mattress. This is what it feels like, he knows now. Knows he’ll be ruined for anyone but you.

You’re seared on his heart, burn him from the inside out, and god, he needs you to come because he can’t hold back.

“Fuck, gotta come for me, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your ear, breathing harshly into the shell of it. “Shit, ‘m so close.”

“Fill me, James, oh, I need it.” Your needy whines echo in the room, the burning in your belly about ready to erupt. He growls low, thrusts his hips even harder and faster against you until you cry out, see stars bursting behind your eyelids, and you clamp down him so tightly he comes, too.

His thrusts are languid now as he fucks you both through your climaxes. His arm trembles where he still grips your hand, and he slides off you to the side, tugs you with him while he’s still buried within you. He kisses your forehead, slick with sweat, and can feel your eyelashes against his throat.

When your heartbeats slow, the sweat dries on your skin, you feel the weight of what’s just happened. It sinks like a lead weight in your heart, and you feel your throat closing up, eyes burning with your shame. Bucky shifts, feels the wobble in your chin, but you pull away from him to sit at the edge of the bed.

He’s alarmed when he hears you sniffling, a hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. He panics internally, the hurt slicing through him like a blazing knife. But he reaches out to touch you, flinches back when you shove off the bed. You begin to gather your clothes, meet his glistening eyes with tears of your own.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you sob before whirling on your feet to shut yourself in the bathroom.

Bucky’s chest rattles, teeth gritting together as he bites back the emotion welling up. You’re sorry? For goddamn what?

He leaves your apartment in a noxious mix of anger, hurt, and confusion.

End

[narrysgolden]

So uh, hi, I’m not a writer but I do occasionally (used to) write and some lovely lovely person brought that to my attention today! They mentioned a totally different fic I was writing and forgot about (oops) but reminded me I wrote Part 3 of this ficlet ages ago and never posted it SO here’s that now. Happy Holidays to you all ☺️

Private Nights - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

They were both much more quiet now than they had been the whole flight. Thoughts, and a hangover, swimming around in their heads. Niall was debating in his head whether he was hoping to not have to see Harry again this weekend, or was hoping to run into him again. He was leaning more towards the latter.

With an ounce of liquid courage left, he decided to ask anyways, just out of curiosity. “Hey where are you staying tonight?”

Harry’s face went blank. He closed his eyes, lowered his head into his hands and whispered shit.

“I think….I don’t think I actually have a place to stay.” He said with a chuckle, an attempt to not scream. In years past Harry would just stay at his house, but since he sold his LA home he had been staying with Jeff. Now that Jeff and his wife are out of the country, Harry not thinking to bring his spare key, that’s not an option either. Surely he could call up another friend, pop into a hotel or something. “Forgot I don’t live here anymore and usually I’d just go to Jeff’s but, “second honeymoon.” He shrugged.

Without thinking Niall blurted out “you can stay at mine” before realizing what he said. “I mean got a spare room and all, not too far from tomorrow’s venue.”

“Oh I don’t want to be a bother, can just call up a friend, get a hotel for a change or summat.”

A friend? Did he not consider me a friend? Niall thought. That kind of hurt but he tried not to take it personally. Would probably be awkward to have Harry sleepover anyways. “Uh yeah sure, sure. I’ll be there if you uh, need anything or whatever.” Now Niall was being awkward, tripping over his words and trying to play it cool.

“’course, thanks Niall.” Harry pat him on the shoulder with a soft smile as he peeled himself off the leather seat.

The boys parted ways after the flight, engaging in a much less awkward hug than the first one, and hopping into separate cars. As Niall went back to his LA home, Harry was feeling out of sorts. Even with his countless contacts in the area, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do and had the driver drop him off at the Beachwood Café. Out of all the places in LA, this it felt most like a home away from home. He frequented the dainty café every time he was in town, knew the workers by name and they were always considerate of his privacy.

After greeting the employees behind the counter and ordering his usual, he sat himself in the back corner booth, shoving his Gucci bag underneath the table and pulling out his book. He had brought Norwegian Wood with him, grabbing it last minute from his shelf as a way to keep himself busy on the long flight. Even though he’d already read the book, twice, it was his favorite and impossible to put down. In an attempt to clear his mind, he began reading, for the third time, sipping on his coffee in an attempt to beat the already setting in jetlag.

When he woke up the room was half lit with soft sounds of mugs clattering together. He jolted his head up with a gasp, forgetting where he was and searching his surroundings. Harry had gotten so engrossed in his book he completely lost track of time….and consciousness. Jetlag hit hard and despite his second cup of coffee, he dozed off through chapter nine and slumped back in the booth. A slight bit of panic set in as he frantically looked at his phone, not knowing what time or even day it was at this point.

9:45pm

The café closed in 15 minutes. Harry quickly shuffled out of the booth, grabbing his stuff and swiftly placing his dirty dishes on the counter. “So sorry for hogging up the booth all day, keeping you here” he quietly apologized to the employee, voice coming out hoarse from sleep.

As he darted out the door he really started to realize he has nowhere to stay tonight. It was nearly 10pm on a Sunday and he’d feel bad for bothering anyone for a place to crash at this hour. He quickly remembered Niall’s offer earlier, along with how much of a dick he probably sounded for so quickly turning it down. In his sleepy haze he decided to just fuck it and call Niall up anyways.

Three calls later. No answer. Harry would really start to feel like a needy boyfriend if he called again. And fuck all if he remembers how to get to Niall’s house, let alone his address. Unless…

Harry unlocks his phone, scrolls through his contacts, and clicks on Niall’s name. And sure enough, right under the address bar is Niall’s street, number and all. Even after all these years, Harry couldn’t bare to delete Niall’s number or any of his information, and he’s thanking God now that he didn’t.

While in the Uber on the way to Niall’s he starts to become really anxious. This isn’t creepy right, just showing up at his house? I mean it’s Niall and he offered anyways. Right?

The car pulls up to the soft gray home, light coming through a couple windows with Niall’s car parked in the driveway. Thankfully Niall’s gate code was still programmed into his phone as well, so he could at least get past the fence without looking like an awkward stalker who shouldn’t be at this residence in the first place.

With all signs that Niall is home and another few phone calls going unanswered, Harry assumes Niall must have fallen asleep early too. He makes his way up to the front door and knocks, then rings the doorbell, then the buzzer and repeats the three for what feels like 30 minutes before giving up. He doesn’t want to yell or cause a disturbance in his neighborhood at now 11pm. So he sits down on the stoop, back up against the door, jetlag already taking over again.

Niall jolts awake with a weird feeling. All the lights are on, his damn shoes are still on and he’s very disoriented at this point, not intending on passing out so early in the day. He goes to check his phone, 11:30pm, and notices the 6 missed called from Harry. Immediate panic shoots through his body. Is something wrong? Did he need me? Oh god I wonder where he is. Am I overreacting?

Despite his hesitation, he decides to just call Harry back. No answer. So he calls again. After the fourth ring with no answer is when Niall really starts to panic. Without thinking he jumps up, grabs his keys from the counter and heads for the door. He flings the front door open so fast he barely has time to process the body thumping at his feet.

Harry is shocked out of his slumber as he flies back and his head smacks down on Niall’s feet.

“Jesus, fuck! Harry what the fuck!?”

Harry rolls over with a loud groan of pain and confusion. “Oh my god” he grunts.

“Harry WHAT the hell” Niall yells.

As Harry continues to writhe around on the stoop, Niall’s demeanor changed. “Har-Harry are you okay? C’mere”. He reached down to gently place his hand under Harry’s head and help him sit up, worried that he smacked his head too hard. Harry finally squints his eyes open to look up at Niall. He doesn’t know if it’s the jet lag delirium or the fact that he banged his head half on Niall’s foot and half on concrete, but he smiles up at the Irishman with a dopey grin and dimple on full display. “Hi.”

Niall is confused but can’t help smiling back. After a moment of innocent affection, Niall’s concern creeps back in. “Are you okay? Really? Need some ice?” Harry’s smile turns into a frown as he remembers his throbbing head and nods, taking Niall’s hands to help him up. In full disclosure, Harry is a total baby when it comes to being sick or hurt. He will take all the love and care that anyone is willing to give him and he will milk that shit like it’s his job. Niall knows, Niall kind of loves it, and Niall acts just like the caretaker Harry wants. “C’mon baker boy” he chuckles, wrapping his arm around Harry’s waist to lead him inside.

The name gets Harry to chuckle, lightening the mood. “Baker boy? Really? It’s been nearly 10 years Niall.”

“And yet you still talk about bread, Harold.”

For those few moments it’s like Niall and Harry we’re back in 2015. It felt different than the plane ride earlier which was fueled by alcohol. This time, the comfort was fueled by vulnerability. Something they shared closely between each other, years ago.

Harry laid down on the couch, sinking into the big plushie cushions and trying really hard to block out the memory of what happened on this couch the night Niall moved in. The heated kissing, the touching, the clothes thrown about the kitchen. It was also the one and only time that Harry had stepped foot in this house, other than at this moment. Niall brought over a bag of ice, handing it to Harry along with a pillow to prop his head up. As his mind began to clear up, he decided to take a seat at the other end of the couch. He could feel emotions resurfacing that he wasn’t ready for and did not think was appropriate for the time.

Harry thanked Niall and laid back on the ice, wiggling uncomfortably as the cubes poked the back of his head, but he was grateful for the gesture. Neither of them said another word, sleep taking over both of them yet again after Niall had put the golf channel on the tv for some background noise. As Niall dozed off, he could hear Harry’s labored breathing. Through hooded eyes he took in the sight of Harry’s chocolate curls sticking to the melting ice bag. His lips slightly parted, looking plush but dry, in need of some chapstick. The way his skin was so clear and glowed under the light of the tv. He was just....so....pretty. And with that thought, Niall fell into a deep sleep as well.

Niall awoke to a heavy weight on his stomach and a tickle of hair on his arms. He squinted one eye open in the dim lighting of the room and moved just enough to get Harry’s attention. The lanky boy on top of him groaned a small “mm cold” before readjusting his head to now be on Niall’s crotch and curl his legs up next to him.

“D’you wanna go up to bed?” Niall mumbled. Harry nodded, continuing his “baby” act.

The two of them groaned as they got up, sore from the awkward couch positions and groggy from on and off sleep all day. Harry slung his bag over his shoulder as they trudged up the stairs, coming to the guest bedroom on the right. Niall stopped ahead of Harry. “Sheets are clean, bathrooms on the le—“

“Can I...” Harry began to interrupt. “My uh, my head still hurts.” It didn’t. But Harry didn’t have another excuse to sleep with Niall and he knew Niall wouldn’t deny him the comfort he really needed right now.

“Uh yeah, sure, my rooms down thi—“

“Mhmm I remember” Harry interrupted again with a smug tone. Niall just rolled his eyes and continued on down the echoey hall. With each step Niall began to strip off another article of clothing, desperate to be comfortable in his own bed again and not caring that Harry was right behind him,

“Eager are we?” Harry remarked, watching closely each piece of fabric fall to the floor.

“Oh shut up.” Niall jabbed back, sprinting the last few steps and catapulting himself onto the bed. His head fell back, getting engulfed in the mountain of pillows stacked at the headboard.

“Jesus, Niall. Preparing for a pillow fight or something?”

Niall let out a cackle, pick up the pillow closest to him and chucked it in Harry’s direction. ”Maybe.”

Harry caught the pillow with impressive accuracy and threw it straight back, jumping on the end of the bed and launching Niall’s legs in the air. The two boys burst into a fit of laughter, lazily tossing pillows at each other in the process.

The laughter died down and their eyes began to droop again, but neither of them wanted to sleep another minute.

[isakvaltersmut]

every time i see couples talking about their partner not asking them to be their valentine it makes me think of isak and i feel like that might be something he’d get upset about if he’s had a hard week and he waits for even to ask him and just breaks down because he thinks he’s not going to?

omg yes!

I feel like Isak would just love Valentines Day once he gets with Even.

When he was single and in the closet he’d always look at pictures his friends posted, he’d watch the happy couples walking around the streets being so ridiculously in love and he’d gag, snort and shake his head at how stupid the whole thing is.

He didn’t care about it, he didn’t want anything to do with it.

But then he gets with Even and he can’t stop thinking about it.

Suddenly all he wants is to spend the day with him, to get shitty cards and flowers and to be showered with love and affection and for the first time he wants to get asked to be someone’s Valentine.

He’d always watched couples be so happy and in love on the holiday and he always acted like he doesn’t really care, he doesn’t want that, but then he gets with Even and all he wants is to be showered with love and to be asked to be someone’s Valentine for the first time.

The week leading up to it is already hard, but the holiday falls on a Friday and Isak can’t wait; he can’t wait to forget about the homework and annoying teachers and the messages from his dad. All he can think about is how on that day Even is going to ask him and they’re going to have a nice day, together.

It makes Isak giddy to think about it.

The day approaches and Even doesn’t say anything about it, not a single word, and Isak simply assumes that Even must have a surprise ready, something big and impressive, something to wow him. So, Isak stays quiet, he goes to the shop and gets a card.

On Thursday Isak starts to get a bit nervous, he’s jumpy and anxious and slowly a fear creeps in that Even won’t do anything, but when Even asks what’s wrong he brushes him off and says he’s fine.

On Valentine’s Day he wakes up and expects Even to already be up just like he usually is, but he expects him to be in bed, to kiss Isak and say Happy Valentine’s Day.

Isak wakes up alone with the sheets next to him cold, a note is on the pillow telling him Even had gotten called into work cause his co-worker was sick.

Isak blinks away the tears gathering in his eyes; Even will do something in the evening, he’s sure of it, maybe he’ll pick up some flowers on the way home, who knows.

But then Even comes home and doesn’t say anything. He hugs and kisses Isak like he always does but other than that he does nothing and Isak realizes that Even doesn’t care. Even isn’t going to ask or do anything, he was never going to.

And Isak’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment; he feels so fucking stupid for thinking Even would do something. He should’ve known he’s not worth the effort, he hasn’t earned it yet; Even must’ve done stuff like that for Sonja but that doesn’t mean he has to be the same with Isak, they’d only been together for a few months, after all.

He still wanted to give Even the card, though, he figured Even deserved it for putting up with him and all his bullshit.

So, Isak grabs the card and rushes over to Even who’s sitting on the couch and he shoves it forward, Even looking up at a bright-red Isak.

“Hap-happy Valentine’s Day, Even,” He thought he’d be able to say it but his voice cracks in the middle of the sentence and before he knows it there are tears spilling down his cheeks and he lets go of the card before running towards their room, closing the door behind him and throwing himself down onto the bed.

All Even can do is look at the door in shock.

[thirstyforbishiesimagines]

Merry christmasss~ Hope this sweet, grumpy boi fills your fluffy needs for the holidays!

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Dangerous Fellows Christmas Event

Eugene x Reader

Fluff

❄️ I  Post Apocalypse

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.

Eyes fluttering open, you take a moment to adjust to the blinding light of the sun peeking through the window. Wrapped within Eugene’s arms, you’re greeted with the gentle sound of him breathing peacefully beside you. You giggle softly at his adorably innocent face as he slumbers, snuggling in closer to indulge in his warmth — protecting you from the chill of the wintry air.

Suddenly remembering last night’s heavy snowfall, you immediately jump out of his arms and eagerly rush out of bed toward the window. Eugene groans with slight annoyance, however, falls back asleep instantly — totally unbothered by your actions.

Wide (e/c) irises gleaming with delight, you witness blankets of white layered upon every possible surface outside. Scrambling to put on your snow boots, you rush back over to Eugene and begin gently swaying him back and forth.

“Eugeneeee~” You sing sweetly.

He lies frozen in place, completely unfazed as he ignores your call. You try again several more times, only to be met with the same lack of response.

Patience running thin from over-excitement, you inhale deep before letting out a booming, “EUGENE!!!”

You feel him jolt under your palms. “Whaat…?” He whines sleepily, his voice muffled against the thick blanket.

“Come look! The snow piled up last night!”

Raising his arm toward his face and squinting at his watch, he grimaces before burying his face back into the covers.  

“What the hell, (Y/N)… It’s 5am! Go back to sleep.”

“But it’s so fluffy right now!”

Grabbing hold of the covers, he rolls over to the other side of the bed — facing away from you and concealing himself deep within the sheets.

Unwilling to take no for an answer, you dramatically swipe the blankets off of him. Leaving him vulnerable against the cold, he curls up into a foetal position as he clings on to his fleeting warmth.

“Let’s goooo! We have to hurry before the snow settles!”

“Urgh… fine.” He grumbles reluctantly, ultimately giving in. Finally sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his grumpy amber eyes, you sprint off ahead as he sluggishly throws on his trademark hoodie.

Unable to tolerate his turtle-like speed any longer, you race back to him, pulling him by the hand and dragging him out toward the door while he struggles to slip on his boots. Stepping out into the snow, soft crunches against your feet, you beam back at Eugene — eyes twinkling with awe.

“Isn’t it absolutely gorgeous, Eugene?!” Arms out wide, you twirl around and around until your faint with dizziness. “It’s a Winter Wonderland~” You sing as you allow yourself to fall within the soft blanket of snow, giggling with glee.

“No. It’s a bunch of work, is what it is…” He sighs in anticipated exhaustion as he foresees the arduous hours of shovelling. “Anyways, now I’ve seen it; and it’s as white and cold as I expected so… I’m going back inside.”

A mischievous grin on your face, you wait as he turns around before slyly reaching out to grab hold of his hood and tugging back forcefully, making him fall backwards into the snow beside you.

“D-Dammit, (Y/N)! I’m already f-freezing as it is!” He stutters as he sits up, cradling his arms around his shivering form.

Plopping back down onto the ice-cold fluff, you begin simultaneously sliding your arms and legs against the snow as your skin becomes riddled with goose bumps.

You ignore the crippling cold creeping through your thin sweater despite stuttering as bad as Eugene. “C-come on, Eu-g-gene! L-Let’s make some s-snow angels!”

“… You’re insane. Your lips are turning blue!” He pauses for a moment, eyebrows furrowing in conflict. “We’re going inside.”

“B-But I’m not c-cold.”

“Uh huh, sure...”

Brushing off the clinging patches of snow, he holds out a hand toward you. A slight pout upon your lips, you stare at his impatient form as your teeth continue to chatter. Sighing heavily, you finally place your hand in his and he swiftly pulls you up into his arms. 

He holds you for a moment, rubbing your back to elicit warmth as you shiver violently against him. His brows furrow closer and closer with each one of your sneezes and before you knew it, Eugene had pulled you back into the house, lit up the fireplace in record time, stood you in front of the roaring flames and meticulously wrapped you up tightly within a fluffy blanket.

“Sit.”

Your mind now fuzzy from the growing cold, you promptly obey his command and sit yourself down upon the cosy rug.

“And stay.”

You nod slowly as you watch him disappear towards the kitchen, only to return a couple minutes later and hurriedly placing a warm cup of hot cocoa within your hands.

“Drink.”

Giggling at his typical gruff ways of displaying his affection, you quickly do as he says and take an indulgent sip — the sweet, soothing liquid setting your body at ease instantly.

Eugene wraps his arms around you from behind and you instinctively lean back against his comforting chest. The moment didn’t last long however, as realisation struck and you suddenly sit back up.

“Wait! I don’t think you should stay too close to me in case I get you-”

A thunderous sneeze suddenly interrupts you from behind.

“…sick.” You trail off, voice weak with regret.

“I knew it was a bad idea…” He grumbles as he nuzzles his face within the nook of your shoulder.

You turn to face him, reaching up to brush away the golden bangs hanging over his face. As you place the back of your hand against his forehead, you feel a burning heat emanating from his skin and your heart sinks, instantly feeling guilty.

“I’m so sorry, Eugene. I should’ve waited and properly prepared us to go out…”

Your head hangs low with disappointment. “I’ve just… always dreamed of making snow angels together with you, you know… once we were finally happy and safe enough to actually go outside and enjoy the snow…”

Thinking back to a time when the cold of winter only made your lives harder, you smile faintly; thankful for how things have now changed for the better. “So, when I looked outside this morning, I just couldn’t help myself… I’m sorry for getting you sick.”

Eugene sighs deeply, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “I guess we can go out and make some proper ones or whatever… but only after we warm up a bit more.”

Eyes gleaming with hope, you grab his hands in excitement. “Really?!”

“I mean… we’re already sick so, why not?” He shrugs nonchalantly, though you could tell he felt a little guilty after knowing the reasoning behind your enthusiasm. “Plus, since we’re BOTH sick now, I don’t have to worry anymore.”

Eyebrow raised; you look up in confusion. “About what?”

“About doing this.”

Wrapping you tight within his arms, he eagerly crashes his lips upon yours. The feel of his softness leaving you intoxicated and breathless.

Stunned from his sudden kiss, a burning heat tickles your cheeks as you blush profusely while he holds out his hand toward you once more. Though this time, accompanied with a playfully beaming grin.

“Let’s go make some snow angels.”

.

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x mod luna

[lunalovefics]

hazy shade of winter PART 1

pairing - felix rosier x mc

requested ? yep ! unfortunately i didn't get a username so i couldn’t tag them, but if this was yours please leave a comment because I loved writing this !

summary : you stay behind at hogwarts over christmas holiday and become much closer with a certain prefect while all of your friends are away...

warnings : slow burn ?

(also i haven't written anything in a hot minute so if this sucks i apologize and very much appreciate any constructive criticism as im trying to improve my writing. but im very excited this is the first fic im posting to my new account!)

It was a another freezing winter morning as I woke up unusually early, bringing the covers up over my head tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep to escape the cold for just a few more hours. I groaned throwing the heavy blanket away from my face taking in a deep breath, brushing the stray pieces of (h/c) hair from my eyes. It was no use. I was completely and fully awake, totally aware of how quite the room was without all my friends going about their usual morning routine. The only sound keeping me company today was the wind rustling harshly against my window as I stare at the ceiling now desperately wishing I had taken Rowan or even Bill’s invitation to spend the break with them. It was only the first day of holiday and I already missed them. ‘‘ it’s only two weeks.”  I tried to reassure myself.

I look over to the window the sun still not even up, “if the sun gets to sleep in i should be able to.” I frown to myself as I realize i’m going to have to get up at some point. I bite the bullet and decide to try and make to most of the day, that thought lasted all of five minutes as after I brushed my hair and teeth I couldn't be bothered to exert any more energy. Assuming I’m either the only one in slytherin who stayed behind on holiday or at the very least the only one awake at this hour I decided there would be no better way to spend these next few hours then curled up in the common room next to the fireplace getting ahead of my studies. I quickly pulled on an over sized (f/c) sweater not even bothering to change out of my pajama pants and grabbed a few textbooks as I made my way down to the common room to find it actually decorated quite nicely, a christmas tree dawned our house colors, stockings over the fireplace, and a few other decorations here and there. I smiled taking in the scene as I sat back into the couch getting as comfortable as possible before opening my potions book. 

I’d say I got in a good forty-five minutes of studying before I ultimately fell asleep. Potions always seemed to do that to me, hence why Penny had to tutor me so often. I was sure I had been out for a at least an hour or two as I finally woke up yawning as a rubbed my surprisingly still tired eyes. Looking down I noticed my book set neatly on the table in front of me and a blanket covering my now very warm body. It was only then that I looked over and noticed that I was in fact not alone here. Not even two feet away from me sat a familiar form.

 “I see you are finally awake.” he didn’t sound as cold as he normally did, in fact he almost sounded pleased? 

“Felix? What time is it?” was the only thing that managed to escape my lips as I was a bit shocked to see him.

“A bit after eight I suppose.” he replied marking a place in his book before sitting it on the table, turning to give me his full attention. “You know I don’t consider it wise to spend the night in the common room, I imagine it’s not very comfortable and it can get quite cold.” he added glancing down for only a moment.

That’s when I realized what exactly he was looking at. I was now all to aware of the fact that he was the one who had covered me with this blanket and neatly arranged my books. But why would he do that? Was he sitting there waiting for my to wake up? Was I overthinking this situation? Probably. I mean he was just looking out for his housemate, that’s what a prefect does after all. I tried not to make the situation any more than it was but I was unable to suppress the blush creeping up my cheeks. I sat up, now sitting criss cross only a few inches separating us.

 “I wasn't down here all night.” I corrected him. “I woke up pretty early and couldn't go back to sleep so I thought it would be a good idea to come down here and try and get ahead of my lessons, but you can see how well that worked out.” 

“I can’t say I’m surprised considering how many house points you've lost us by falling asleep in Snapes class.” shockingly he didn't sound as if he were scolding me like he normally did when it came to house points. 

“It’s not my fault his voice is so unbearably boring that I have no other choice than to go to sleep.” I joked trying to lighten the mood. I swore I could see the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. “What are you doing here anyway? Wouldn’t you rather spend the holidays at home instead of being cooped up here?”

“You know I could ask you the same question (l/n).” he replied raising a brow. I suppose he was right. Who am I kidding, he was always right.

l smiled at his response just sitting there for a moment taking in his features. It was nice seeing him outside of his house robes and uniform. He was wearing a simple grey turtle neck, black pants, and his normal black dress shoes. Good to know he still remained quite formal even when no one was a round to see. His hair was still slicked back and his cheek bones were just as sharp but something seemed different. His expression seemed less tired, almost relaxed. But I suppose that made since, even though we were stuck at Hogwarts we were still on holiday.  

He cleared his throat, though our eyes never broke apart. Oh Merlin. I thought to myself, just how long have I been just staring at him. I averted my eyes as fast as humanly possible, practically jumping out of my seat. Smooth (y/n) smooth. 

“Want to go to the Great Hall? I could really use some coffee.” I smiled mentally face palming myself as hard as possible.  

He shrugged getting up from his seat, “Sure.”

And just like that the two of us started to make our way to the Great Hall.

(Felix’s pov)

It was only six am when I awoke to the cold nipping at me from under the covers, I looked around to my empty room and sighed as I would be spending yet another Christmas alone at Hogwarts. 

“at least i can get some peace and quite.” 

I soon got up to get dressed and made my way to the common room ready to get started with the day. Of course I didn't expect to see anyone else here at all let alone at this time, you could definitely say I was more than taken aback to find someone asleep on the couch. I felt my heart rate speed up even more when I realized that it was you. Questions immediately began to pop into my mind. Why hadn't you gone home on break? Why were you asleep in the common room? Had you been there all night? What were you dreaming about? I had caught myself off guard with that last one.

I looked around the common room at all the decorations I managed to get up that night before making my was over to you. Gently brushing a piece of hair away from your face tucking it behind your ear I smiled at how serene you looked. As I pulled the book you were reading from your hand my fingers grazed yours, you were freezing. After placing the book neatly on the table I went to my room to get you a blanket. 

If you were going to sleep in the common room you should have at least brought a blanket with you. It’ll be a wonder if you manage to not get sick. I mean really you need to start being more responsible. 

As I walked back in I couldn't help but just stare at you for a moment as I covered you up, I had never been more glad you were asleep as I was sure that you would have been able to hear every beat of my heart. I debated on whether or not I should sit in a different seat worried you would find my decision to sit next to you odd at the very least but I couldn’t resist. I sat down as slowly and as quietly as possible doing my best not to wake you, managing to sit back and start my book without causing so much as a stir.

I tried to read my book and ignore the fact that you were asleep next to me but it was almost as if the more I tried to concentrate the harder it became. I read the same sentence over at least ten time before finally giving in to watch over you as you slept, my eyes shifting back and forth from you, to the fire burning, and finally back to the book as I realized what a creep I was probably being and decided to try and give reading another attempt. But I still couldn't help but smile at every little snore. (if you don’t snore, well you do now uwu)

This went on for just a little over an hour before I felt you moving around, looking over as you woke up. When your tried gaze met mine I could feel my face soften, there really was no one like you. 

(y/n)’s pov

It didn't take long to make it to the Great Hall as we walked there in almost total silence, not that I minded it was honestly nice just to have the company. Truth was I was grateful not only was I going to have someone to spend the holiday with but I was going to be able to spend it with Felix. I know we weren't close or anything, and given all the times I lost our house points he probably didn't like me very much but i’d be lying to say I didn't enjoy every moment I could steal from him. 

As we walked through the doors I looked around taking in the sight of all the decorations, even with how empty it was the room felt so full of joy. Felix of course kept the same stoic expression as he always did but I like to think he enjoyed the scenery as well. 

We took our seats at the end of the table sitting across from each other as we had our breakfast. 

“So (y/n) what are you doing here on holiday if you don’t mind me asking?” he questioned finally breaking the silence.

“And what if I do?” I replied teasing him a bit.

 He raised a bored brow, but I could tell he was a bit taken back by my response. 

“You’re not here to cause trouble I hope.” He was already on to me, I had to think quick.

“Who? Me?” I asked looking around. “Felix please I am the back bone of this house, I would never.” I smirked even though it was a very obvious lie. He rolled his eyes at the “back bone of slytherin” however he was amused to say the least.

“Well that certainly is a shame.” he started before taking a sip of his tea. “Because if your offer still stands, I say we make this break interesting for once.” 

I didn't know what to say, was this all a trap to get me to reveal my plans? He was prefect after all, was he really willing to get in trouble? But all my mind could really focus on was the fact he even remembered my offer. 

“Well (y/n), what will it be?” 

What came over me I don’t know, maybe it was the look in his eyes. A mischievous glint I had never seen in him before, maybe my curiosity got the better of me. Or maybe it was that skip of my heart that made the decision for me. 

“Alright Rosier, let’s do it.” I grinned going against all better judgement I agreed extending my hand to seal the deal. 

As he grabbed my hand he pulled me closer to him, leaning across the table, “I must warn you if we’re going to do something this reckless we do it my way. I won’t have us getting caught.” I could only nodded in agreement as words were not even an option in this moment, he finally realized the position we were in and let me go. Though a small part of my wished he hadn’t.

He went back to his tea focusing rather hard on it trying to hide the ever so slight blush forming. I couldn't quite wrap my head around what had just happened but I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to stop thinking about it any time soon. 

It wasn't long before we were both finished and ready to head out deciding to head to the library to read up on some information that could help us in our adventure. As we were walking I forced him to take a slight detour stopping by the courtyard to look out at the frosty morning. I let out a happy sigh watching as my breath came out in a cloud. The air was bitter and I definitely wasn't dressed for such cold weather but I had never been so happy to shiver. Seeing the ground covered in a beautiful sheet of white as even more spilled from the sky almost made me forget about everything else going on around me. I walked out looking up at sky trying to catch a snow flake on my tongue. 

“(y/n) get back here ! It’s freezing, you're going to get sick !” I heard Felix call after me but it was like it really just went in one ear and out the other. Little did I know how intently he was watching me, I didn't even think of how silly I probably looked but in that moment I couldn't care less. Twirling around in the snow I become almost lost in my own little world and didn't even notice when Felix had come up behind me.

I jumped as I was snapped back to reality feeling something rather warm wrap around me. Looking down I saw a scarf now resting on my shoulders. I quickly turned around staring up at Felix who was now standing right in front of me, snow now starting to cover us both. My (e/c) eyes met his brown ones and the heat immediately began to rise to my already rosy cheeks. I tried taking the scarf off but he placed his hands on mine to stop me, re wrapping it before his hand moved to my cheek. His hands felt so warm even out in the freezing cold.

“You’ll get cold.” I said averting my gaze trying to protest. 

“I’m not the one shivering.” he smiled as I felt his hand move from my cheek to brush a fallen strand of (h/c) hair behind my ear. Little did I know this wasn't the first time he had done this.

I had no idea how to respond, it seemed like he never failed to make me speechless, but this? This was a side of him that I didn't even know existed. How did the point obsessed prefect become so.....sweet? As I looked up at him I smiled gently cupping his hands in mine, raising them to my lips blowing out a bit of warm air. 

“I will shiver in this cold happily if it means I get to stand here next to you.” staring up at him I was glad to know I was no longer the only one blushing. 

“Lets head inside before we catch our death out here.” he said before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, I could feel a smile form onto his lips as I intertwined his hand with mine. 

These were going to be an interesting two weeks.

[lovemesomesurveys]

How do you feel about full length beards? I’m not into a lot of facial hair. I like some scruff, but that’s it. Have you ever been to a circus? Yeah, once. I was naive and didn’t know about the abuse that went on at the time. Do you know anyone who’s gone to a Fat Camp? No. Do you use Facebook IM everyday? No. I don’t even remember the last time I used it. How many surveys have you done already today? This is my first.

What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? I don’t care for the Adult Swim shows. Family Guy and American Dad is okay, but after that it gets too stupid and weird for me. Sorry. Like once I saw this show, Mr. Pickles, and uh... wtf. The episode I saw was very disturbing. I don’t get the appeal of Rick and Morty at all. And why the hell is Mike Tyson Mysteries a thing? That’s just to name a few. I see previews of other shows and I just... wow. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? No. Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? Not maliciously or because they thought it was horrible and wanted to embarrass me, but yeah. My mom has posted photos where she didn’t see anything wrong and she thinks I looked fine, but I was like EW NO take that down it’s hideous. I reallyyyy don’t like photos of me taken by someone else. I have to take my own photos if I’m going to take one at all because I know the angles and lighting and can add a filter. Plus, I can take a ton before finally settling on one. If someone else takes the photo and they want to post it, I have to approve. Which grade in school was the most fun for you? I enjoyed elementary and middle school. High school had its ups and downs, but there were parts I liked. I liked the last 2 years the best. Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? I wouldn’t want another pet right now to be honest. We have our doggo and one suits our family best right now. Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? No, thankfully. I have other issues I struggle with, but not drama. Do you ever just want to go away to a new place where no one knows you? I don’t live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and I was never Miss Popularity, so apart from family and a few other people, not a lot of people know me. However, I do want move away to a new place. My family and I have wanted to for a long time, we just haven’t been able to. A change of environment and scenery would be really nice. You’re ordering a pizza, you can have any kind of toppings, what are they? I’m a simple gal, I just like white sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, and crumbled meatballs with pesto drizzled on top. Do you hit ‘quiet’ or ‘ignore’ on your cell? Which one usually? Nah. If my phone rings and I don’t want to answer it, I just let it ring. Do you ever regret giving your number to people? I have before with some people. Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? Haha yeah. Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? Nope. Does/did your high school have pop machines? No. They decided to remove them the year I entered high school, which I was mad about. Do you use a public computer, or do you have your own? I have my own laptop. Do you ever find it odd how you type LOL when you’re not really laughing? >> No, because I understand that its function has moved far beyond representing actual laughing-out-loud. <<< Yeah. I remember discussing that in a class once. Have you ever gambled? A couple times. Not my thing. Although, what really made my experience unenjoyable wasn’t so much the gambling, it was that the casinos I’ve been to allow smoking and I don’t do well with cigarette smoke. At all. It gives me a killer headache, makes my heart rate go up, and makes me feel dizzy and sick. It’s awful. The smell in the casinos was too overbearing for me, so I spent very little time inside. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I really don’t want to work retail. And that’s not shade toward retail workers AT ALL. I salute you, honestly. You deal with a lot of shit. What’s the shortest you would ever cut your hair? I had a “bob” for a few years. Do you listen to any deathcore? No. Do you subscribe to any teen magazines? Which ones? No. I’m also 30 years old. Do you know someone who never smiles? Never? No. Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable at work? I’ve never had a job. Do you still watch South Park? I never did. I mean, I’ve seen bits here and there before because my brother used to watch it, but I was never into it myself. Tell me one movie you’ve seen recently that sucked: My mom, brother, and I recently watched this movie on Netflix called, The Platform. It had potential and was interesting at first, but the ending was just... no. It seemed abrupt and I was just really confused. Have you ever carved something into a dinner booth somewhere? No. When’s the last time you were carded at a bar? When I last went to the bar, which was almost 10 years ago. Do you smoke little cigars? Have you ever tried them? Nooo. You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? Pfft, no I’m not babysitting. What’s the last thing you returned at a store? I very rarely return things so I have no idea. It’s been a long time. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? I don’t even recall the last time I petted a cat. Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? I haven’t in a long time. If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? I already do, I dye it red. Who’s got your heart? Me. What’s your television addiction? I have several shows that I’m into. Have you ever stringed green beans before? No. What do you do to make yourself more relaxed when you’re nervous? It’s hard to calm myself when I’m anxious, but I try to distract by talking to someone, listening to ASMR, watching TV or something on YouTube, or reading.  Do you cook? If so, what’s the last thing you made? The only thing I cook is ramen. Oh wait actually I made a grilled cheese sandwich the other day. ha.  Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Yeah, a few things. How do you usually spend your Saturdays? I spend all my days and nights the same, really. Do you make your own jewelry or clothing? Last year I briefly got into making beaded bracelets. I made a few. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? I do the same things everyday whether I’m bored or not: spend time on my social medias, watch YouTube, read, watch TV, scroll through Tumblr, do surveys, just lie there.... ha. Somedays just feel like they’re dragging and going by extra slow and the things I listed above that I like doing just don’t cut it so I just lie there mindlessly watching TV or go to sleep. Do you use drawing to describe what you’re feeling? No. Do you like the smell of new school supplies? As a kid I did. Like getting a new box of crayons. Do you give everything you do 100%? No. I certainly haven’t with life... Do you shop at any independent music stores? No. I don’t shop at any music stores. How do you feel about mainstream music? I like a lot of it.

What song lyrics describe your mood at the moment? *shrug* Do you have healthy eating habits? No. My eating habits are messed up. I have issues with appetite and other issues.

If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be? A dog. Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about? I do the knock on wood thing, but it’s just out of habit, really. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be? There’s so many places I’d like to visit. What food disgusts you the most? I don’t do seafood at all. What is your favorite thing to cook? Ramen. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? I wouldn’t want to get lost anywhere in the dark. :O Are you claustrophobic? Yes. What is your worst flaw? Oh where to start. One thing that always creeps you out? ALL bugs. What is your biggest fear? Losing loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away... If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind? I don’t believe in reincarnation. Ideal way you’d like to die? Obviously painlessly, but jeez. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? I like living with my family. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? Uh, a lot of things. Your favorite kind of dog? I love doggos, but I definitely have a special thing for Labs and German Shepherds. Do you have any scars? If so, how many? I have a lot of scars. I’m not going to count them. What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark? I don’t watch them in the dark. Unless I’m at the theater, obviously. I love scary movies, though. Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? Cremated. What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic? Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks. That’s also coffee, but you know what I mean. I don’t have a favorite alcoholic drink, I don’t drink. What is your favorite food around the holidays? I love either ham or turkey depending on the holiday and mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, and rolls. Easiest way to scare you? I’m such a jumpy, easily scarable (it’s a word, shh) person so you could really just say hi and I’ll jump. haha. Like my back faces my bedroom door and if I don’t hear anyone coming in or they just poke their head in to say something I’ll jump. lmao. Tell me one of your biggest secrets? Nah. What was your last nightmare about? It’s been awhile since I’ve had one, thankfully.

[daydreamindollie]

UPDATE!

Hey Dolls, 

It’s me again, I’m so sorry I’ve been dead for several months now but here I am! Unfortunately, I don’t have an official update for you (as in an update for a story or a new oneshot or something) but just to give you some reassurance about my progress, I’m here to tell you what I’ve been doing. 

So, here’s just some quick background on the happenings of the previous few months where exam season is slowly creeping up. I have two 2-hour mock exams to prepare for (psychology and biology) but I also have to complete my second project for art on micro-macro before I begin my component one to carry into the summer holidays. So school is busy but I’ve also been needing to do a lot of university searching and getting my work experience done. I actually did my work experience during the two-week holiday I was given for Easter but that took a week so I was really pressed for time. 

To add onto that *le sigh* I’ve gotten really sick recently and it’s only getting worse by the day, which I don’t understand because I’ve taken medicine for it!!! It’s so frustrating! But you know, whenever I get sick, I really have no motivation to work on both school and my writing because I just want to sleep in bed and slowly die in my filth, so that’s slowing me down more than other works are, which I HATE! 

Despite ALL OF THAT, however, I’ve gotten some work done for you! It’s not ready to be posted though but I’ll gladly tell you all about the progress. 

I’ve planned all four scenes with all the events I want happening in it. I’m about to start scene three and am at 3.3k words 

There’s a lot of fluff and some minor development in the relationship between Reader and Jungkook, there’ll also be some development in the relationship between TaeTae and Jungkook as well so look out for that! 

Here’s a little teaser for you simply because I like spoiling you guys ;) 

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself too, Jeong,” you demand in a soft and beautifully fragile voice that has Jungkook leaning in ever so slowly closer, his urge to connect his lips with yours becoming instinct whenever in a situation where you’re looking up at him with those beautiful wide eyes, rosy cheeks and plush lips, he swears you’re silently begging him to devour your mouth with his own in a passionate dance. 

“I promise…” he whispers back, lips brushing against yours as both your eyes slowly start to close, breaths momentarily stopping as if hypnotised by each other’s eyes, daring the other to initiate it kiss first. Before either of you could follow through, however, you were interrupted by a very loud shout. 

I’ve planned around 4/5 scenes, I’ve just finished scene one and just realised that I have to do some more research so that there’s more accuracy but some delay in the writing process. But it’s currently at around 1.1k words. 

This is a bit of an angsty chapter, especially for those of you who are animal lovers but there’ll finally be some progress in Reader’s and Yoongi’s relationship 

Again, here’s a little teaser sample for you lovelies!

“Shhh…” he hushed in a husky voice despite his best attempt at reducing his rough speech into something soft just for your comfort, “it’s going to be okay…” his arm rounded your figure and brought you into his warm, tight embrace as he gave you a handful of moments to calm your heart-breaking sobs, “she’s in good hands, trust that they’ll do what’s best for her,” you nod meekly into his chest, following with a soft whimper as you cling onto the back of his shirt. The presence of time ceases to exist as you stand there hugging yourself tightly to your neighbour and expel all of your tears and sobs into his chest, soaking his shirt but he doesn’t mind. 

“Th-thank you, Yoongi,” you whisper with a sniffle as you look up at him with a rose-dusted cheek pressed to his chest, your eyes big and glossy as an adorable pout had your lips looking plumper than usual. Yoongi’s heart skipped many subsequent beats as he stared down at you, very well aware of the blossoming blush on his cheeks but unable to turn away; had you always been this cute? How could he miss that about you?  

PHEW! Planning this was so exhausting because I’ve never written smut before!  And Silly Me didn’t split it into scenes but I can assure you that it’s all planned out...the only problem is that I think I might change it again, sorry! But it’s only at 0.8k words, I’m so sorry!!!! 

But here’s another teaser, keep in mind that these teasers aren’t grammatically edited yet so please excuse the unpolished state of these teasers x

The more you avoid him and the more Namjoon is left to his own thoughts and queries, the quicker he’s beginning to connect the dots. It was the same day he had finally allowed your heavenly name to pass his lips during his ministrations for the first time since the very beginning. It was always the little things that you did that turned him on more than any other girl on campus has been able to, not even the perkiest cheerleaders, the smartest biologists or the most compassionate artist as been able to stir and tangle his nerves the way you have been able to. In your oversize shirts and jumpers, shovelling junk food into your mouth as you moan in bliss and smile happily at the entertainment you have playing on the screen before you, the innocence you display is inversely proportional to the amount of unadulterated lust you evoke within him. 

There’s just something in the way you lick your sweet pink lips clean, ridding them of the crumbs of your snacks; he can vividly imagine the way they would look lapping up the last droplets of his cum after you’ve sucked him off like the good little girl he knows you can be. He has played with the idea that you have nothing but your oversized shirt protecting you from his wandering hands even though you’re clearly wearing a bra and shorts underneath, it’s just more exciting to him if there’s a possibility that if he were to slip his hands underneath the tauntingly thin fabric of your shirt, he’ll only be met with supple softness, ready to be tainted by his fine hands. And taint them he will if you’d ever let him have the chance to. One time, several months ago, you actually weren’t wearing your bra underneath your shirt and it drove him up the wall, he was so close to you and seeing your perked nipples making an obvious indentation through the fabric made his hands itch to just reach over and squeezesqueezesqueeze your fleshy mounds until he had you squirming underneath him. Those are things he’s been able to grow some immunity to, especially after flushing out his frustrations through, somewhat, unsatisfying personal sessions with himself. However, it’s your unintentionally arousing moans that always trigger something dark and sinister within him, he’s always tried to imagine you moaning his name aloud but has to refrain from doing so or else he’s sure he’ll jizz in his pants - a dry orgasm was something he wasn’t eager to experience, yet. 

So this is a Jeon Wonwoo x f.reader oneshot I’ve been working on that’s part of a oneshot series that’s based around an alternate universe I came up with. I’ve planned 8 scenes for it and I’m half way through scene 4 and am already at 5.2k words. 

The teaser I’m about to give you is far longer than the rest but I’m just really proud of the alternate universe I was able to come up with that I feel is just so unique. I really want to show you guys how it’s coming along and get you fired up as much as possible so you can pester me to finish it and get on with the other 12 members’ oneshots for this series too! 

In a universe where people carry around their hearts, with some wearing them on their sleeves and others tucking them into the breast pocket of their blazers and out of people’s sight, Wonwoo appeared to be the only one adamant at keeping his at home and off his person when moving about. It wasn’t as though he was embarrassed by his heart or anything, it’s just that, carrying around his heart like most people usually would, was a heavy burden on him, literally. Everyone’s heart had a trait that matched the personality of the person they represented and, although they were all as unique as the person that owned them, they all had a similar trait. They were unbreakable - harder than diamond and more precious than any jewel. Despite this physical resilience to external forces, they can be fractured by one thing and one thing only: heartbreak. 

Wonwoo’s heart was much like the rest in this quality, however, his had undergone a phenomenon he’d prefer to keep to himself rather than alert the cardiologists, who specialised in the field of hand-held hearts. Before his first heartbreak, Wonwoo’s heart was soft, in any way shape or form. Its surface was smooth like the finest silk and it was rather sizeable too, almost reaching farther than his fingertips when held in the centre of his palm. Not only that but his heart had the viscosity of fluffy marshmallows. Looking back on the time his heart was of that state was laughable because it directly matched his personality: funny and sweet, soft and malleable to any given situation. Now, however, he was hardly like that now and so was his heart.

Heartbreak really changed him as a person and usually, people who suffered through that would go through therapy or counselling with their heartbreaker in order to avoid any desperate change their heart and they, themselves, would make in response to the pain of heartbreak. Sometimes, breaking another person’s heart was punishable as a crime simply because of the adverse effect it can have on an individual, and so, it was always taught to children at a young age that when given the responsibility of another person’s heart, they should handle it with the utmost care. Wonwoo never had the pleasure of going through therapy or counselling for his heartbreak; he merely didn’t want the pity that came when people found out that he had gone through something like that, and he knows for certain that many people would be alerted of his suffering. If people had ever once been heartbroken in their lives it was put in their medical records as a signpost that their heart was more breakable now than before, he also didn’t want the sympathy of others if he were to enter the heartbreak clinic. He just wanted to avoid all the trivial attention. 

And so, Wonwoo left his heart alone, to change and morph into stone. He didn’t know what stone it was but it was still as unbreakable as ever, with the exception of the damage heartbreak had brought - he wouldn’t dare test that out. Alongside the change of his heart, Wonwoo also made a drastic change in personality; now he was mostly silent and stoic, inclined to keep to just himself and his group of friends. He had become as quiet and still as his heart of stone. 

This series isn’t out yet but it is in progress. It’s going to be a really long series that’s gonna have a lot of chapters and will possibly be an OT7 x f.r fic, I don’t know, maybe I’ll make it a member-centric in later chapters - again, it’s still a work in progress. I’m still planning everything out. 

I might tweak some of the storyline because I don’t think having the entire thing progress over five years would be easy to do, unless I want to make multiple sequels for it, so like Harry Potter or something but no, that’s not gonna happen, unfortunately. I just won’t have the time. 

But here is my inspirations list and what I’m directly finding inspiration in, just so that you can have a feel of what I want this series to be like:  

- anime: Fairy Tail (Tournament + Powers)

- Harry Potter (Magic School)

- Hunger Games(?) (Tournament Style + Filming of events)

- Pokemon(?) (Mini Battles)

I’ve planned the ending (although it might change), the concept and workings of magic circles, the AU’s background/history, Elemental Stereotypes, the magic school’s background and I am in the middle of creating the members’ as well as Reader’s character profile. 

I’ve also gone ahead and planned the first year of their school, although this could change because I want to take away the years that this would be progressing through and make it more straightforward. 

This...I’ve been planning this for a while but haven’t really gotten to writing it yet. I’m hoping to make it into a mini one-shot series of Royal Encounters *wink**wonk* that’s subtly linked to each other. 

This could end up being an OT7 x maid reader or individual members x maid reader but yeah! I’ve planned out all of the ‘encounters’ in bullet point format and hope to get to writing it for you Dolls soon! 

SO I’ve been really busy, haha, despite being dead these few months, I’m so sorry that I take so long to post anything, I’m also sorry that I’m bad at building a relationship with you guys by not making casual posts like this often, where I can talk to you freely. 

I guess, I just don’t feel like I’m an interesting enough of a person for you guys to be interested in talking to me in such a way. I also have many silent readers, who I appreciate a lot, but I guess that just reassures me more on the topic of ‘being silent with readers is okay’. 

But please, if you have a question like ‘Are you still alive Dollie?’ or ‘how’s this work coming along?’, feel free to message me! I’ll happily reply as soon as possible! And it’ll draw my focus back onto what works I need to continue writing. 

You’re my inspiration too, not just our beloved idols.

Anyway, that’s all from me! I hope you’re all looking forward to what I have in store for you.

Much love, 

Dollie x

[pixelatedlenses]

Day 361.

I’m a bit tired today because of the humidity and… because I also wanted to play Fire Emblem: Three Houses last night. But the next few three hundred and sixty days are about progress, including today, 361. Progress no matter how big or small. So here goes!

Wrote a Spirited Away Fanfic

I put this on here because I haven’t written in a really long time. I haven’t because I spent most of 2018 feeling the worst I’ve felt since my father’s passing in 2011. I gave up a lot in 2018: like… a lot. My mental health was in the garbage, I felt incredibly alone, and while I did reach out, there’s a lot of things I felt like I couldn’t –or shouldn’t– feel. Honestly, it feels like a miracle that I made it to the end of the year alive. Make of that what you will: I think that many people are intelligent and cunning enough to understand what I’m perhaps implying.

 I won’t say that things are perfect, but I’m in a healthier, safer mental state this year. I’ve still had really hard days, but that’s also sometimes part of life.

So today, because I felt clear-headed –I have most of July, which is a big victory for me– I wrote. I’m going to polish it and post it either tonight or tomorrow: it all depends on how sleepy I am tonight. It’s the kind of sad fic that’s actually quite hopeful, and I’ll warn that it does involve major character death. But… I like it a lot, and think it’s pretty neat.

 Planned my 2019 and 2020 Vacations

This felt a bit silly to add on at first, but it’s a major thing for me to plan how I want to spend my paid leave and holidays, outside of necessary sick and mental health days. Getting a jump start means that I can budget and plan much more effectively months ahead, which I like: I’m not a fan of waiting until last minute.

 I feel like there’s this immense peer pressure to travel to every prefecture in Japan as a JET, otherwise you really haven’t lived. But to be honest, I like the pace I’ve gone at: I’ve travelled almost all of Tohoku, part of Hokuriku, and started to slowly creep into Kanto. I’m really happy with that: a lot of people most often go to Western Japan but Eastern and Northern Japan have their charms. I think I’ve seen and done a lot in my own backyard: I don’t think I should feel pressured at all. 

And honestly, you can always come back and enjoy more parts of a place.

Plus, if I can be honest, while I’d like to go to Kyoto, it just seems way too crowded at the moment, and I don’t A) want to be in the middle of a bunch of tourists and B) don’t want to add to the problem of the already overwhelming amount of tourists in the city. I also have no urge to go to Osaka for similar reasons: too many people. Plus… I don’t want to go to USJ. I don’t like roller coasters: it’d just be an expensive trip.

(I do want to go to Disney, however. And I think I might even lowkey do a Disneybound, now that I understand what that term means!)

That being said, I want to fulfill a dream of mine: an anime pilgrimage. Well, two, for two special anime: Yuri!! On ICE and Kamichu! both of which I recommend you give a watch if you haven’t.

The former will take me to Karatsu in Saga Prefecture, but also Fukuoka because of proximity. The latter will take me to Onomichi in Hiroshima Prefecture, and also Hiroshima City, also due to proximity. I think that both of these will really make special memories for me. And at the end of the day, if those are the places I wanna go, why not?

 Organized my supplies for study

Study officially starts tomorrow! I got a notebook and binder last night so I can start officially studying. I even got all my Japanese printables that I bought years back together so I have no excuses for organizing any further. It’s just time to crack my textbook (for reference, I’m using the とびら series) and just… do the thing.

I’m going to start with forty minutes: I work well with that because it means I’m guaranteed to actually do 30 minutes of study, which is the real goal. I know myself well enough that I’ll spend five minutes on each end putting around before my focus locks in, so having a forty minute timer for my desired thirty minutes of study will serve me best. 

It’s been another good day. I’m going to get ingredients for Taco Salad Rice at the local supermarket and then, go home, cook me up a nice meal, and enjoy a few episodes of anime (I’m thinking Shirobako or maybe something that also has a dub for maximum relaxation) while I continue to invest myself in Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I really wanna watch Lucky Star, but I’m saving that for this weekend so I can do a marathon of listening practice since Netflix Japan only has it with Japanese subtitles. 

Oh, and I think I’ll start my art class tomorrow! Might as well use my summer holiday free time to the max!

 Thanks for your support! One day down, another to go!

[mademoiselleseraph]

12th Perigee's Eve with Some Minor Celebrities

A very belated secret santa gift for the @hiveswapsecretsanta2018 and @the-bisexual-dumpster about Charun, Chixie, and Cirava spending the holiday together and being best buds

~~~

Charun was running late, but when weren’t they running late? They supposed it was a small price to pay for looking nice.  They knew looking nice for them meant looking like a disaster to others but it was typical for -- what did people call them? -- oh yeah, avant garde types.  They were so avant garde. The avant-est of garde. Yeah.

They had already combed their hair (just to muss it up just right), brushed their teeth (doing what they could to dull their fangs), and washed their face (and applied some blood based paint to the sides of their mouth and one of their temples).  Next step was to say goodbye. They patted the shell of their lion-faced snail lusus, Speedy, promising to be safe. Then they went to the ventriloquist dummy they found one day and had a strange attachment to though they could not, for the life of them, remember where it came from or when they first saw it, let alone what species it was supposed to portray.  Some kind of demon thing? Maybe. They gave it a strong hug and gently placed it back down on the floor. Finally, they went to the wall.

The dummy always gave Charun what a friend of theirs would describe as “weird fucking vibes, man lmao.”  Looking at its glassy eyes and painted smile unsettled them. It gave them a jittery giddiness for pain and destruction that itched and disoriented.  There was a wall in the cave that had the opposite effect. The words scrawled all about in various shades of blood had a somber, melancholy look, but filled them with hope.  They ran a finger under the words where they seemed to start.

“Let it be known before all else,” it read, “that there is no sin in wanting to live.  Second, that to help instead of harm one’s fellow troll is nobler by far. Third, that worth and character cannot be determined by blood.”

And it went on.  Their favorite part of it was the tale of Twelfth Perigee’s eve.  This figure and his group traveled by day as often as they could, shielding themselves from the harsh sun with parasols, cloaks, and scarves.  But the Twelfth Perigee was the darkest of all perigees, and one could could walk freely without fear of burning on that one day. They celebrated the ease of their burden, baking sweet cakes for the orphans and sharing cordial among the adults.

And then they remembered the sweet cakes.  They had baked them in a fit of inspiration from the ancient scribblings to take to their friends for their Twelfth Perigee’s Eve get-together.  Oh right, they were really quite late now. They put the still warm cakes into an insulated bag, and then into another insulated bag to be sure they were kept warm, and then in a basket for that rustic charm.  They slipped on a coat, shaped to look like it had odd growths under the material and decorated with scrap metal, and headed out.

Meanwhile, Chixie was worried.  She was often worried due to various factors, mostly having to do with cameras and what they would capture and what others would do with it.  But it wasn’t entirely about that this time.

Her worrying was a major reason her friends agreed to meet at her place for Perigee’s Eve.  That way no one would catch her walking to anyone’s hive and start rumors that would convince her more powerful and more obsessive fans to take out the competition in gruesome ways.  Would that happen? No way to say for sure, but she’d rather stay on the safe side.

It must have been around the fifth time she looked out the window in the span of twenty minutes when Cirava called to her from the couch.

“Chix, I’m gonna need you to calm down,” they said.  “This isn’t the first time they’ve run late and it won’t be the last.”

“I know,” she replied in as un-snippity a manner as she could.  “but it’s been a while since you got here and you never know what kind of creeps are out there or what they’re seeing or what they’re saying.”

“Are people really watching your hive to see who comes and goes?”

“It’s not like I’m that hard to track down and it’s not exactly difficult to get into the bronze side of town.”  Her breathing quickened and her face contorted in panic as she continued: “And you know whatever they write about me, he’s gonna see it, and --”

“Chixie!”  They clamped a hand on her shoulder, trying to snap her out of it.  “This is ultimately your place so you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.  But when you get worked up like this, you get agitated, then bitter, then hopeless, and that’s about when you tend to hit the bottle.”

Her shoulders drooped and she sank into the couch under their arm and squeezed the hand still holding her shoulder.  They were a wispy thing and by all logic their bony limbs should have hurt to be held in, but nothing could make anyone feel safer.

“I don’t mean to cross any bounds by sounding all conciliatory and shit,” they continued, “but you said you were tryna cut back, so I figured we should at least wait til Charun gets here.”

“You’re not crossing anything,” she insisted, hugging them back.  “I know you’re not meaning it like that, and I appreciate you trying to help.”

“While we’re at it maybe we could not talk about him today?  Whenever he gets brought up, you seem to feel worse, and I know I don’t have any fond memories of the guy.”

“Yeah.  I could use a break from even thinking about him.  When do you think Charun will get here?”

And just then there was a knock at the door.  Speak of the devil.

Chixie opened the door and drew Charun into a warm hug.

“I know I’m late...” they mumbled.  An unfinished thought, but soon to come again.

“Oh, we’re just happy your safe!” Chixie chirped.

“You had her worried sick, dumbass,” Cirava joked.

“...but I brought food,” they concluded, holding up the basket.  “Cakes for everyone.”

Cirava took the basket to the table and opened the insulated bags.

The lovely smell hit Chixie’s nose instantly.  “Chocolate?”

“And raspberry!” Cirava murmured, mouth already full of a bite.

“Glad you like ‘em...” Charun droned on.  “Made plenty…. Have ‘smany as you’d like….”

They tactfully did not mention the lack of cordial in respect for Chixie’s little problem, or the fact the inspiration came from a wall someone had written on in blood.

They talked fans, making sure to exclude him as promised, and the pressure of fame, and lusii of course.  They were still young after all. Eventually they stumbled on the subject of Chixie’s lovely home and decorating.

“Yeah, I normally don’t get too festive,” she admitted, “but I wanted to go all out for you two.”

“It’s….” Charun mumbled.

“Bitchin’,” Cirava stated.

“....Pretty,” Charun concluded.

She swelled with pride, took a deep breath, and let herself process that pride.  “Yeah, it’s not too shabby,” she said. “Actually, I think I did a great job!” It felt good.  It felt true.  None of that coy oh, you bullshit or false modesty.  She didn’t have to pretend around them because they knew it too.

Her hive really was decked to the nines.  Tinsel garlands, evergreen wreaths, the bones on the mantle, a roaring fire, candles, and of course the behemoth leaving with its own decorations.

“Why is that even a thing?” Cirava asked, gesturing to it.  “Like how did that start? It’s not entirely sanitary.”

“Oh, I know this one!” Chixie said.  “It’s excellent fertilizer. It used to be that you’d keep it in the hive so no one could steal it, and you’d put it on your crops through the planting season and they’d grow like crazy.  The decorations started with cloves and evergreen twigs to make it smell better.”

“And the bones…” added Charun, “...were good for crops too…. But also… after you suck the marrow out… you can string ‘em up like windchimes….  Scares off some aggressive species... if you live out in the middle of nowhere….”

“Speaking of aggressive species,” Cirava noted, setting up their husktop, “you guys wanna shout out to my fans with me?”

The others agreed and sat on either side of them as they got the microphone ready, put on their camera face, and hit record.

“Hey all you funky little weirdos.  I’m taking a break from streaming to spend the holiday with some dear friends, but I’ll be back the day after tomorrow.  Thank you so much for all the love and support, and I’ll be sure to link in the description where you can listen to some of my fresh beats til I get back.  But hey, from me and mine to you and yours--”

And then they all said, more or less in unison, “Happy Eve!” and waved at the camera. Cirava shut it off and posted the video to their chittr and other social media accounts, then put the husktop away.

And with that out of the way, and some touches of worry as to what her fans would make of it, Chixie decided it was best to break out the punch.  She made it in advance and left it to chill and had completely forgotten it. That must have been Cirava’s doing, she realized, keeping her mind on other things and away from the drink.  Though she restrained herself and made it significantly less boozy than she usually did, and apologized if that made it taste funny.

“Actually,” said Charun, “I think it’s… better.”

And she flashed a quick but genuine thank-you smile.  She never really drank it for the taste before.

And they went on like that.  Cirava and Charun passed a pipe between them, offering to Chixie.  She only took one hit, not wanting to dry out her throat. Cirava, on the other hand, blew all manner smoke rings and swished their hand in the smoke to make blurry semblances of shapes.  Charun tried to trace abstract outlines of them with their own finger. Something about it gave Chixie a cheery sense of ease that was quite rare to her. She asked Cirava if the case for their husktop was soundproof, which they confirmed, and she suggested they all put their palm husks in with it.

“So….  What was that about?” asked Charun.Chixie had the beginnings of a mischievous little smirk at the corners of her mouth and replied, “How about singing some carols?”

“Um, are you out of your gourd?” Cirava shot back.

“I already plugged the TV and anything else that might be bugged.  And besides, what’s Twelfth Perigee’s Eve without a little illegal activity?”

“We should steal…” Charun trailed off, “from highbloods!  And leave shit… on their lawnrings.”

And after some scared looks from their companions, they took it back.

“Nah…. You’re right… that’s a death sentence…. Let’s just sing some songs.”

Chixie started with the old familiar melody:

“Oh, merry moon

Lend me your tune

For on my pipes to play”

And then Charun in a surprisingly graceful baritone voice:

“And may the lonesome

Find a home

On this most holy darkest day”

And they both looked to Cirava waiting for them to join.  Eventually they caved.

“They killed him

And they cursed him

But it’s said he’ll come again”

And all of them in unison:

“So merry moon

Lend me your tune

To welcome an old friend”

And they sang songs about respite and recovery and joy to be found among friends and a fruitful new sweep with burdens lifted.  Songs that were outlawed and had to be sung in complete secrecy for fear that they could start a riot. Songs that made one feel like an honest rebel just for singing.  Man, Twelfth Perigee’s Eve carols are hardcore! Well, maybe not outside of that context.

And hours stretched on and on and the three friends drew closer until crammed together on a single couch cushion.  The smiles were genuine and the hands gestured naturally as they spoke about what happened sweeps ago and what might in the sweeps from then.

The softest, weakest bits of sunlight slipped in through the shades as dawn broke, getting a gasp out of Chixie.

“I didn’t mean to keep you out so late!” she apologized.  The light was dim enough to walk in but highblood customs involved drugs and destructive raiding well into the morning.  As one could imagine, it wasn’t safe.

“You’re fine,” Cirava said.  “Cool if we crash here?”

“Sure!” she replied.  “I just have the one ‘cuperacoon though.”

“Cirava can take… the couch,” said Charun.  “I just need… some pillows….”

“Well, actually, if you two don’t mind, maybe we can share it?”

“You sure…?  That wasn’t...virgin punch… it was still spiked….”

“Yeah, Chix, you really okay with this?  We can sleep out here.”

“I’m sure!  If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but it’ll probably be much more comfortable.”  There was a slight pause as she gathered up the courage to say, “I trust you guys.”

That came as a pleasant surprise to both of them.

“Alright,” Cirava said, followed by Charun some time after.

They barricaded the doors, not that it would really stop anyone, but it did make them feel a little better, and Chixie led the way to her respite block

There they took their waking clothes off and realized just how wonderfully not-awkward it all was.  At no point did they feel like they should be ashamed or that they shouldn’t do it. Though it did get them all cracking up about a conversation they had earlier that sweep, about how if they couldn’t fill their quadrants in adulthood, they’d somehow find each other and pail.

“I really hope that’s not the case,” Cirava said after a good chuckle, “for your sakes.  I wouldn’t want either of you having to fill a bucket with my ugly mug.”

“That’s what…” Charun replied, “...paper bags are for…!”

And there was another round of hearty laughter as they all squeezed in together.  Admittedly, it was a tight fit, but not uncomfortable. Three kids in one recuperacoon.  That would have been some kind of safety code violation if there existed safety codes to violate on Alternia.  Besides the basic “do not fuck with the drones” but that was more common sense.

They realized just before drifting off that they were all holding hands.  And that morning with its cloudy skies and lazy sunshine was the most restful sleep any of them ever had.