#I called my family today
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i sincerely don’t belong anywhere.
#I called my family today#because I’m too mentally ill to be on my own#and I just want to go home#and my sister acted like she didn’t want me to come back#what is wrong with me#I wasn’t made for this world I guess#but I keep going#I won’t be defeated#but fuck#it hurts so much#to truly not belong anywhere#to be outcasted everywhere#to be so unloved#one would think I’d be used to it by now#but it still hurts#so fucking much#it’s not a feeling I’ll ever get over#…#personal#my post
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this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au
Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.
By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.
Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.
Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.
It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.
Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.
He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.
Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.
It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.
Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.
He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.
The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.
They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.
"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"
When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.
By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dc x dp crossover#dp crossover#demon twins au#so turns out putting an assassin child in a normal family does not actually fix the child. it may just make them worse. had this thought#today and had to extrapolate. i have a whole ass post in my drafts explaining my idea for this lmao. my thought was basically:#'damian would be the better off twin because he'd have actual proper support compared to danny bc the bats know damian's background and +#+ as a result can actually address the league's teachings properly and help him dismantle the lessons that have been ingrained in him +#+ as compared to danny who would be with a random family - regardless of affiliation - who would only be able to help with surface level +#stuff if danny even ever lets them see that. danny would need to dismantle his own mindset on his own if he even thinks he has to.'#jazz is not a reliable or licensed therapist. that is a child. she's not even implied to be a good one. psychoanalyzing people doesn't make#you a good therapist. it just means you can psychoanalzye people. and therapy only works on those who think they need it. danny would not#think he'd need it and any attempts from jazz to psychoanalyze him would just result in him shutting her out and doubling down on his belie#tldr: starry made another au exploring the psychological effects of growing up in the league and he calls it:#'whose the more adjusted twin? Damian or Danny? Lmao Damian ofc. Danny got screwed over'#rip to damian you have your work cut out for you trying to peel back all of your brother's protective layers. that's an iceberg waiting to#be explored. o7 to you champ your brother got the short end of the stick. danny has so many things to unlearn that i didn't go into here#its an actual demon twins au too! would ya look at that.
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THEY SAY THERE IS A CARPENTER FROM THE PROVINCE PERFORMING MIRACLES IN THE CAPITAL
another scene and some sketches of the fake byzantine empire ocs! thomas is a carpenter, john is a merchant. there's an emperor (two, actually) in here, looming ominously over everything.
(I call it the fake byzantine empire because the setting is playing with byzantine history that spans across three centuries, but it's also pulling from things like Statius' Thebaid and later medieval literature. folk catholic horror, probably. doctrinal debates and schisms are in here)
on the topic of nameless and unknown saints, tho, sometimes I think about this excerpt from an essay in Closet Queeries and the time I was on my way to Tanjay and saw an abandoned chapel along a road with a statue of a saint I didn't recognize inside
Closet Queeries, essays by J. Neil C. Garcia
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#emphasizing the byzantine empire part lest someone call this bible fan art like what century do you think these things take#place in. come on#i will say there IS gospel narrative inspiration/parallels occurring in the story but it's NOT a 1-1 retelling in the slightest#we diverge heavily right before the pasyon arc because i have other shit i want to do#original tag#komiks tag#the carpenter & the merchant#ANYWAY i was visiting family in the ICU today so you will have to suffer my handwriting bc i simply do not feel like doing digital#lettering
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it's so funny to me that caleb and veth really did just trade off the job of intensely pining for the other at like the halfway point of the campaign. like, imo, nott in the early days did not behave in any real romantic or even romance-adjacent ways toward him--I imagine it would be very hard to even think in that way when you hate what you look like so much, have such low self-esteem, and are actively lying about your entire past, including a secret husband. caleb, on the other hand, is kind of diving directly back into the sort of relationship he had with astrid and eadwulf. very close, very intimate, we-huddled-for-warmth-together-and-oops-it-led-to-something-else sort of thing. he is the one who expresses that he's fine with it if people think he and nott are romantically together when they're talking to keg. nott is the one who pushes back on that. he calls her his life partner. unknowingly, he compares his feelings for nott to nott's feelings for yeza. his behavior only really starts to change after he finds out about veth's husband because suddenly all of that other stuff is rendered inappropriate in retrospect. but even then he compliments her to yeza over dinner in the most awkward of ways, he admits to being jealous, he calls yeza "a lucky man" to have her, he stares at veth and yeza closed bedroom door for far too long, he creates an entire arcane tower with room for her family just so she'll stay with him. in general, his behavior is not, um, totally and completely platonic about it, you know?
like, veth's feelings for caleb are canonical and therefore indisputable in their existence, but caleb in the early days was not that dissimilar to how veth was acting near the end of the campaign. it really paints a picture of "right person, wrong time" in the way things just didn't line up for them. or, as veth would say: "in another world, maybe"
#i am actually thinking about this because my widobrave 2 poll had so many moments on it that caleb initiated#and i often see it remarked that people think widobrave is entirely one-sided and caleb only treats her as platonic or familial#which. my real answer is that it's just complicated and i don't think he'd ever admit to any romantic feelings being there#but i also. uh. i wouldn't call it platonic or familial. there is some holy fourth dimension that this relationship exists in istg#impossible to explain but it is NOT entirely platonic nor all that familial imo as it stands in canon#this is like. ONE piece of the meta I was trying to figure out how to phrase earlier today. bottom line of it was:#I don't think the caleb/veth romance is entirely one-sided but also it is so so complicated#their relationship changes SO many times. SO much. that's why it's so frustrating that fandom is stuck in episode 13 re: their dynamic#SO MUCH ABOUT THE DYNAMIC CHANGES AFTER EPISODE 13#even sam reigel himself on talks said there was no reason their relationship wouldn't change/evolve after that#and it did change! it really really did!#widobrave#the mighty nein#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#critical role#inaugurating the new url with a widobrave post. as it should be
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Nail polish feels the same as wearing a retainer
#called home and my little brother told me a secret which is that he (and my sister's girlfriend) tried nail polish today#and they hated it so much he scraped it off with a knife#and i said i too hate nail polish and then realized it fits into this specific category of feeling#i think it's the same feeling as having my contacts out (sense inexplicably turned down)#but we might just be veering into bedtime territory at this point#tonight i went for a HIKE (humid but not toooo hot) and called my family and felt PEACE. thank you God
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simself
#cus i got my hair cut#went to a new hairdresser and she gave me a fade#the back of my head is so COLD#this is queued i'll be on a plane when this goes up#i'll be in london for the weekend wahoo#soooo excited to see my family i haven't seen them since last june#my dads coming with me and we're going to a punk festival all day today#and i'm going to my fav vinyl shop#the owner has a one-eyed pomeranian called bob that just sits on the countertop#i'm gonna buy him a treat before i go in#been feeling really drained lately#this trip'll rejuvenate me#bye for now <3
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i am a mother (of my cats)
#BROOOO THE BABY HE HASN'T EVEN OPENED HIS EYES i am brimming with joy we were on call for like last 4 hours ahhhh maybe it's my periods but#i feel so emo. smaller than a palm of hand god#anyways today was lot i love how we have each other i love having friends as close if not closer than family she stays 90 percent of the#time with us we go to her at every slightest inconvenience or just the most random shit lol i love love
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#Polly polls#hair thing#hair band#I was just thinking abt this today so#personally growing up my family always called them hair things but hair band and tie were also used frequently
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I thought i escaped sims 4 but it's dragged my dumbass back again.
I hate this game. I need so many mods just to be able to just to fix it so i can play without being frustrated. but no matter how frustrated i get, i keep coming back : /
Anyways! Like my new little me? (i forgot what they're called. Avatar? *Shrug*) I'll put some more stuff (and doodles) about them under the cut
They're a candle! The body and oversize hoodie are all the wax and the undercut ponytail is the little flame (like Ember from Danny Phantom lol). Her feet are kinda goopy and her hands never show b/c the sleeves of the hoodie drip over them (sometimes driping off completely.)
i got kinda bored with my old one (drawing me but purple) so they got a little upgrade for my silly little personal doodles.
That is all : )
#random stuff#my doodles#idk what to call this#i will answer asks tomorrow#i started to do so today#but ran out of words halfway through#unfortunately i discovered the ultimate decades challenge in sims 4#which is fasinating me atm b/c it adds dice rolls to see if your sims live into each lifestage#and also the whole keeping track of how many years pass#i might keep this style of gameplay b/c i really like seeing how much time passes#and beign able to use my dice to add some randomness to my game is fantastic#it's been about 35 years in my game so far (with every 4 sim days being an approximate year)#my starting sim is now an exhausted 47 yo man#he had recently handed off his 'head of family' title to his only surviving son#but then the son died so he had to take it back#(i'm really hoping his grandson makes it to adulthood or i won't have an heir)#i'm pretty excited for the life and death expansion coming out soon#it goes well with this game since i'm gonna need those funerals lol#(also saw that your sims can have a baby with the grim reaper and that certainly has my attention : ) )#(that was one of the first things i tried to do when i first got the game)#(and i was so mad that it didn't work lol!)
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So my little brother and I are not allowed to be on the same team for family game night when we play games like Taboo, because most of the time we share a brain cell and the rest of the family has decided it's an unfair advantage. Today, I was trying to remember the word hummus but completely blanked, so what I said was: "Cabbage. No, hermitage" And my brother guessed "Brussels sprouts?" "No, it's a brown goo" I said, but my brother heard "it's a round goo" "Hummus!" he said "that explains the green from cabbage" "It was hummus, but hummus isn't green????" "Oh I was thinking of guacamole" So like. Even when he and I are thinking of totally different things we can still come up with the same word lol
#the person behind the yarn#the family calls it our twin powers (we are not twins)#today's confusion was compounded by the fact that my brother is colorblind#so I had a moment of like 'wait is hummus green to him???'#sometimes I can follow the logic of the alternate words my brain gives me instead of the word I want#not this time though lol#for the record when I blank on a word at work or another place where I can't just say random words#I just don't say anything#or say 'I apologize I can't think of the word'#or just let the subject drop. depends on the circumstances#my brother and I can also use our twin powers to find objects#in that if one of us loses something we'll say hey come activate twin powers#and then the person who asks for help immediately finds the missing object. like. 9 times out of 10
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Characters as things I've said/heard people say
Lucifer: *gazing longingly* Ughhh I want that duck umbrella so bad but I would never use it because umbrellas are for the weak or romantic and I am neither
Alastor: That is a children's umbrella
Lucifer: SO?!?! LET ME BATHE IN MY CHILDHOOD INNOCENCE! LET ME LIVE THE CHILDHOOD I NEVER GOT! LET ME FUCKING DREAM!!!!
Alastor: Why. Are. You. Yelling
#hazbin hotel#incorrect quotes#quotes#hazbin hotel incorrect quotes#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#I may have gotten a little hysterical at the zoo today#perhaps a little menty b at the zoo this evening#I don't know I haven't slept and it's hot#my sister wasn't having it though#like I wasn't going to get the duck umbrella I just wanted to dream about getting the duck umbrella#so basically me and Lucifer deserve duck umbrellas#and Alastor and my sister can go to hell#again in Alastors case I guess#on the bright side though I found my flannel today#my family always makes fun of me for wearing it though because it's to masculine apparently???#my sister called me a lesbo twice which is not the insult she thinks it is so whatever#okay maybe my sister was just a bitch today wtf
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IM SOOOO SCAREDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😰😨😰
#this cannot be real.#if they do n and ghetsis like this. i am going to end up on the news#also they really only call him ‘boss’ in the boxes????#what. are they gonna call n ‘king’. ghetsis ‘sage’. lol#anyway i got this stuff recommended to me randomly today#are the data harvesting powers that be aware that cyrus got hit with an autism diagnosis and i’ve been posting about it#ahhhh platinum supremacy i am so. happy i listened to everyone#and i’m glad my family had the game#but uh these plot events play out much differently in platinum from diamond and pearl lol#lot of this dialogue is new to me i’m like huh….#pokémon#dppt#it is funny though i will say#like if you were a new fan trying to get into this? tragic.#if you’re a returning fan here for a good time? it is entertaining
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transcription under the cut!
The worst ship chart ever.
Ship name: Loopdile
[insert very tiny math] Ages: 43 and 31? Age difference: 8?
Portrait of Odile with an eyebrow raised saying "I'm not telling." Name: Odile. Gender: trans woman (maybe nb but idrc rn). Sexuality: Aro lesbian.
Portrait of Loop with a finger raised saying "I'm not telling~" Name: Loop. Gender: Nonbinary (??? what is identity). Sexuality: Ace bi
General sliders. "Relationship starts quickly vs the slowest burn you can possibly imagine" is marked fairly close to slowly and trails off towards slow burn. "They'll be together forever vs They'll break up after 2 months tops" has two marks, one at 2 months and one really close to forever. "Cute couple vs dear god they're ugly" is marked a quarter slider away from cute. "Reasonably healthy and normal relationship vs They're dying and getting killed and hurt man" has a wide mark all the way from the halfway point to a quarter away from healthy. "Extremely popular ship vs literally no one ships this but me" is marked fairly close to no one.
Specific sliders. "Giddy and happy to be in love vs they just killed themselves 40 times in their head at the idea of being in love" has loop at died and odile fairly close to died. "The madoka vs the homura" has loop at homura and odile a third of the slider away. "Telling anyone who will listen about their partner vs rarely brings up that they're in a relationship" has loop a quarter away from telling anyone and odile fairly close to rarely. "eats and/or encourages a healthy diet vs eats dry instant noodles only" has loop at noodles and odile a third away from healthy. "crazy ass vs truck freak" has loop at crazy ass and odile fairly close to truck freak.
Tell me why your ship is interesting... go!
What draws them together? Odile is the only motherfucker that can handle them; Loop is weird and intriguing.
What stands in the way? Poor communication skills; Loop is clingy but Odile often needs space; Loop lashes out and self-isolates.
What are their good traits? They're both hilarious and dedicated to the bit; they're both devoted to their loved ones.
What makes them hopeless at romance? Odile is aro-spec and uninterested in romance; Loop both hates/fears and craves romance; Luckily they can just be something stranger!
Describe them with one trope: found family, deadpan x emotional, secret third thing, I'll protect you from yourself.
#suicide mention#these are today's headcanons... tomorrow? who knows.....#so. the weird sliders.#siffrin had a low grade crush on odile which. obviously didn't instantly come to fruition but it's not exactly a slow burn situation eithe?#and then during sasasap and isat loop's emotions about everything ever were. not doing great#they come out of canon a total mess#and odile's like ...i could fix them. NO WAIT IM NOT DOING THAT.#so again the thought is there and. a little more slowburn y this time. but only for a specific part of the dynamic#and then there's kinda a slow build of loop's new dynamics w everyone in the group?#and the thing with odile escalates into being a Thing#but again it's hard to call it slow burn bc there's no like. line to tip over into dating.#but it's not *instant* either#it's a snowball gaining speed downhill#ok next weird slider#oh yeah#they 'break up' fairly often as one of loop's 'this is 100% a joke and not my real feelings at all' bits#even though they're not dating and they don't actually want to break off whatever shit they do have going on#it's a way to express a need for change#BUT the whole family is in it for the long haul#and loop and odile's dynamic may shift over time but again. there's no 'breaking up' line#so they won't necessarily be [together?] forever but they will be together forever#and then it's. not an *unhealthy* relationship but it's not normal either lol#with a whole range of behaviors between 'genuinely helpful to each other' and 'lmao what the fuck guys'#ok those r the weird ones! the rest are obvious right. like ofc odile is closer to truck freak 🙄 but not entirely
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Garmadon would hog the toilet for hours whenever he's on his period bc he just sits over the toilet and free bleeds
#ninjago#lego ninjago#garmadon#ninjago garmadon#saving money on period products and annoying your family all in one go i call win win solution#sorry btw can you tell my period started today
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for unexpected reasons my girlfriend and I have to stay with my grandparents now during her visit, but it's been really nice. My grandma is so happy she is here, and feel a lot more comfortable now that she knows she can talk to my gf in her own language, and then they'll keep a bilingual conversation where my gf attempts to speak some of our language or talks in english. I've been able to send my gf news articles and even academic articles in my language for years knowing she'll understand at least 90%, but until now she's been too shy and perfectionistic to speak it much - so this has finally been a great opportunity to break some language anxieties!
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I had been worried that cutting my dad off and distancing myself from him would put me in a difficult position with his side of the family but I've actually reconnected with a couple family members over how shitty he's been and it turns out I'm not the first one to stop talking to him, he's been blocked by like two of my aunts And my cousin
#my cousin texted me out of nowhere yesterday and we've been chatting which has been really nice#and I asked her like btw did my dad send you to talk to me and shes like oh God no I haven't talked to him since he got drunk and rampaged#and I was like oh which time and she's like the one a couple months ago and I was like ayy me too lmao#so! turns out the only person who is straining and breaking familial relationships is him 🤔#not that he'll ever see the pattern that his sister and aunt and two of his nieces AND his ex wife/baby mama AND his own kid#have told him to get his shit together and stop being an asshole to everyone#but yknow#if he stopped drinking it'd solve 25% of his problems and therapy would solve another 50%#but he refuses to stop drinking or listen to anyone but other brainwashed trumpheads so! fuck 'im#dad mention#alcohol mentioned#anyway. feeling better about my choice to stop talking to him#he went off on my mom today and called her a lot of horrible things and accused her of leading him on#when she has actively been telling him since they got divorced TEN YEARS AGO that nothing is ever happening w them again#but since he doesn't listen to her he didn't hear it and just dug his pity party hole deeper#anyway. back to my night having a nice time and having a good relationship with basically everyone else in my family#unlike some people 🍵 🐸
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