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becauseicantthinkwritings · 2 years

Text

Never Quite Enough

Part 3

Part 1 // Part 2

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, overhearing mean comments, kissing.

"I wish I never met him." You say to the ginger cat.

Butter meows in response.

"Yeah, I think I'd rather he never came up to me at all. Then I could live in ignorance."

You think for a moment, wiggling your index finger under one of his pink paws, hissing when his claws extend to catch at your skin.

"I think not knowing what his laughter tasted like would have been easier." You continue, even though your furry friend doesn't say a word.

You swallow, listening to the jingle of his collar as he rolls over.

"He really is a terrible man."

Butter agrees.

You look at the e-mail with a little frown. You can hear sounds of excitement as everyone reads it. There's a garden brunch on Saturday, and you marvel at all the mixers and parties Billy allows in order to keep morale high. It seems to be working, and you think there are probably so many people loyal to the company because of it. This time, you notice that plus ones are invited, and there's a special prize as well.

You sigh, glancing at the antique ring on your finger.

It takes Dex all of one minute before he's at your desk.

"Are you gonna bring Matt?"

You blink at the audacity.

"I'll have to ask." You murmur, looking up at him.

Dex nods, you watch his curly hair bounce in thought.

"I hope he comes. It'll put some rumours to rest."

You almost hate to ask.

"What rumours?"

He steps around the table to stand by your side.

"You didn't hear it from me, but Stacy in Marketing thinks you made him up- but when I heard I stood up for you- but also I don't know who else she's told."

Fucking Stacy.

"Look," you say with a shake of your head, "I'll try to bring him, but if he can't come then there's nothing I can do."

Dex nods, "Yeah I totally get it, Fuck Stacy."

You smile, surprised that his thoughts were in line with yours.

You talk for a few more minutes before he's pulled away.

Not many people had known you'd been dating Billy in the first place. It had been mostly the people working around him that had any idea. You'd bent over backwards to make sure no one in your department knew, but Stacy had once found you kissing Billy in the broom closet on the third floor and you knew she knew more than she was supposed to. Billy had asked her not to say anything, yet it just seemed like she was working overtime on a loophole to expose your past relationship.

You wonder why she was so intent on saying all these bad things about you- was she jealous? Or just angry? She probably still thought you and Billy were together, perhaps attempting to spin a story that you'd slept your way to the top, but she couldn't say anything directly, knowing that it would be traced back to her.

It barely mattered to you anyway, until your boss asked casually if you would be bringing Matt to the brunch, and you knew that Stacy's storytelling had gotten to him as well.

You had to take a moment to tell yourself that despite the toxic work environment, this job had many perks to benefit from. You'd struggle to find a good dental plan elsewhere.

Butter meows in protest as you knock on your upstairs neighbour's door. He'd torn a paper bag to shreds in your bedroom when you'd found him, and hadn't appreciated being taken from his throne of scraps.

You hear footsteps at the door and then a pause.

"Hello?" A deep voice calls.

You smile at the peephole embedded into the door.

"I believe you're missing an inmate?" You say casually, jingling the little bell on Butter's collar.

Your mouth drops open when he opens the door.

Hot.

Steaming.

He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and boxers.

"So you're his co-parent, hmm?" He asks.

"Yeah," you say, introducing yourself to him.

He smiles, widens his door a little, as something of an invitation.

"I'm Matt." He says in greeting, and you resist the urge to tell him that you know. "Want to come in?"

You probably should have said no, but something about Matt just puts you at ease, disarms you into relaxing around him. The next thing you know, you're putting Butter down on the floor of Matt's living room.

"I hope he hasn't been too much trouble. Honestly I'm glad he's letting someone with proper eyes look him over." Matt says.

You look up at him in confusion.

"You... don't have proper eyes?" You ask slowly, unsure if he's joking or not.

Matt laughs and waves his hands in front of his face.

"I'm like ninety-five percent blind." He informs you.

"Oh, sorry... I didn't know." You mumble, feeling a little awkward, hoping you haven't offended him in any way.

"It's fine, I get by, and Butter chirps if to let me know if I'm about to sit on him."

That gets a laugh out of you, that you cut short when you realise your laugh sounds horrendous.

Matt's smiling along and it hits you with a sense of familiarity, a sweet smile from a man you think wouldn't mind what you have to say.

"So, I did something terrible." You blurt, blinking in horror at your lack of filter.

"Did you?" Matt asks with a tilt of his head.

You nod, taking a seat on his couch with a sigh.

"I was constantly being bothered at work, hit on, you know- asked on dates so I lied."

Matt comes around to sit on the opposite end of the couch. Butter jumps right into his lap. He adjusts the cat accordingly.

"I told everyone I had a boyfriend, and when it wasn't enough... I- I bought a ring." You raise your hand to show him before realising that he can't see it and dropping your hand in embarrassment.

"And now you're asking me to be your pretend boyfriend?"

You raise your head at him in surprise. He gives you a warm smile and you gulp, feeling your heart speed up.

"How did you know?" You ask.

"I mean, it's maybe a little obvious? Just the way you started your story and I kinda figured where this was going." He leans back, "Plus there are a ton of movies about the exact thing."

You smile.

"I know we just met, but there's a party on Saturday, and I'd be honoured if I could introduce you as my fiance, so that everyone would stop bothering me."

Matt nods, his deft fingers roaming in Butter's fur. The cat in question smacks at Matt's hand after a few moments.

"You know we'll have to act like a couple right? Maybe kiss a little?"

"That's okay, I'm not uncomfortable with it. I just-" You let out a slow sigh.

"I just want people to leave me alone."

He nods in understanding, a smile on his face.

"What's the dress code?"

"It's perfect." Billy says, admiring the crown of wildflowers.

"Are you sure? There are opinions of peonies and roses available, the wildflowers aren't as... sophisticated."

Billy wasn't going for sophisticated. Billy wanted rustic, untamed, wild and ethereal and you'd look amazing wearing it. Then everyone would see, everyone would appreciate you.

"It's perfect." He repeats to the florist, not taking his eyes from the thistle, trying to imagine it sitting on your head, the smile you'd give him that would spear his heart.

When she leaves, Frank steps in a few minutes later.

"She RSVPED with a plus one." Frank says in greeting.

It's the first time Billy tears his eyes from the crown. His chest burns for a second.

"You're serious?" Billy asks, watching Frank nod.

"She's got someone."

"There's no way." Billy hisses vehemently, walking around to his desk to sit.

"Stop being in denial. This is happening." Frank says calmly.

Billy's forehead thumps against his desk. A moment of silence before he speaks again.

"I just want her back so bad. I don't think I'll be able to look at her with someone else."

Frank puts a firm hand on his shoulder.

"You need to tell her everything, but also let her make her own choices."

Billy's head is still pressed to the table as he nods his head, he tries to understand, but deep down he knows that seeing you with someone else is going to rip him apart.

Matt definitely looks better than you do. You smile at him and you try not to acknowledge that they're already going to like him more than they like you.

When he asks for your guidance to the uber, you gladly link your arms in his.

"This isn't too fast for you?" You ask curiously, "I mean, we just met and I'm going to introduce you as my soon-to-be husband?"

Matt has the decency to look shy when he smiles, and for the first time in a while, your heart gives a solid kick.

"It is really fast," Matt agrees, "but honestly, I could never resist someone in need of help."

Your heart swells, you open the taxi door, smiling at the driver, confirming the address.

"And," he adds in, leaning into you a little and you catch hints of his cologne, "honestly, I maybe owe you for being so nice to Butter. He isn't... well... he isn't known for his sweetness."

A smile pulls on your lips thinking about the rambunctious feline.

"He is a troublemaker." You agree in passing and Matt grins.

"Where did you get him?"

When Matt's smile falters, you try to backtrack.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't-"

"-It's fine, it's okay, it's an innocent question." Matt interrupts, one of his warm hands covering yours.

"Butter belonged to my ex. When we broke up, it was really hard, and she left him behind so I wouldn't have to be alone."

"She sounds amazing." You whisper.

"She was, but I couldn't give her what she wanted, and she was smart to leave."

You frown, reaching up to squeeze his shoulder. You wish you could say something to comfort him, but you can't, you can't lie and tell him it gets better when you're actively avoiding your emotions, wishing you didn't ever exist because you didn't want to feel ever again. Thankfully, the reassuring squeeze is enough in the moment.

"I don't mean to point out the flaws in your plan, but we never even came up with a backstory." Matt says, standing on the sidewalk near the venue.

You break into laughter.

"Oh Matt," you say with an affectionate tone, "No one's going to ask me any questions. Nobody likes me." You feel your chest squeeze.

Matt frowns at you, but keeps walking.

"I'm sure that's not true." He says.

"It is, but anyway, we met a month ago, we hit it off, and now we're dating, don't mention the engagement unless someone asks. If you're not sure about an answer, squeeze my hand. And just," You bump your shoulders against his, "keep it light."

You paint a smile on your face as you enter the building. An usher guides you out back to the prettiest garden party you've ever seen.

The tables are filled with gorgeous flowers, only accentuated with white tablecloths, to bring out the colours. There are butterflies everywhere, attracted by the sweet nectar-filled flowers. Your breath catches on the ropes of wisteria hanging from above.

"Describe it to me." Matt says beside you, and you look at him with a smile.

"It's gorgeous," you say, "something out of a fairytale, there are flowers everywhere, every colour and shape. And so many butterflies, the blue morpho and the green hairstreak and the clouded yellow and-" You pause, realising you've shared a bit too much about yourself.

"You know a lot about butterflies." Matt murmurs, your eyes squeeze shut.

"Yeah, sorry, I get distracted." You say on a rushed breath.

"No, it's okay, I'd like to hear about them, they sound beautiful."

You swallow, glad you don't have to fake a smile for him.

"I'm actually a little thirsty. Are you?"

Matt accepts the conversation change, extending his elbow to you.

"Lead the way."

Even the drinks have flowers in them. A sprig of lavender in your prosecco, and a yellow viola in Matt's whiskey. The bartender is happy to let you know that all the flowers in the food and drink are edible, but you already know that.

"I didn't have a chance to ask before, but what are you wearing?" Matt asks.

A little laugh escapes your throat, and then a larger one when he raises his eyebrows in question.

"Sorry, its not a question that's usually asked without an innuendo." You explain, "I'm wearing a pink dress."

Matt smiles, "Floor length?"

"Yeah, and there's a slit on one leg."

"That sounds beautiful, I bet you look breathtaking." He says to you.

Your smile falls.

"Thank you." You murmur to him.

"You don't believe me?"

No, you respond internally, but you're spared from answering when someone says your name.

Dex happily approaches, and you smile at him.

He takes you into a hug, that makes you a little confused since this is the first time he's ever displayed that level of affection toward you.

"This must be Matt!" Dex says and you smile.

You introduce both men, and it's very easy and casual, you listen to the conversation, learning all the details you can about Matt, considering that you didn't really know him at all.

Your mistake is letting your eyes wander, admiring the decor, watching a white butterfly touch your shoulder on its way to a purple coneflower.

It's how you find him. Dressed in a white shirt, his broad back to you as he talks to someone. He looks busy, and there's a warm tug in your stomach as you momentarily forget his crimes. You could blame it on the atmosphere, one that's too serene for the incredible heartbreak you're in. But you forget, and when he turns, scans the room, meets your eyes and gives you a little smile, you feel inclined to give him a little smile back.

Until he looks beside you, and his smile drops.

He's got to be a really incredible actor, for you to be able to witness what you can only describe as heartbreak in his eyes, lasting only a moment before a stoic expression takes its place.

Somehow, you manage to feel sorry for him, when you know you shouldn't. You think that time has made you softer to his betrayal in some way, a thought that sparks anger.

You look away from him, back to Matt, quietly reminding yourself of Billy's bad deeds.

Your entire relationship had been fake. When he'd held you tight after sex, it hadn't been real, when he'd tugged you into a random closet at work, palming at your ass, telling you that he couldn't go another second without you. That had been fake too.

Matt squeezes your hand as Dex excuses himself to greet other people. You look up at him with a smile.

"Are you okay?" Matt asks.

"Yeah, you're doing good." You reply.

"Of course I am, I make a good fake boyfriend."

That makes you laugh.

"Well I think Dex is probably the one person that would ask the most amount of questions, so I think we're safe for now."

Matt grins.

"Want another drink?"

"Sure." You say, heading back to the little bar.

Billy can only watch you together with him and hate himself.

It's the first time he's seeing you genuinely laugh since the break up, and though you're laughing with that guy, you're still laughing and he likes that.

His chest is filled with this mixture of happiness and agony. Happy to see you smile, even if it doesn't really meet your eyes, and pain that you're not smiling at him.

What Billy wouldn't give to have you smile at him.

It's why he did all of this after all. He'd memorised all the flowers you'd told him you liked, from that time you shyly showed him your cottagecore Pinterest board, and he'd tried to get as much of them as possible. He knew you liked butterflies too, after he'd heard you gushing about them to Andrew- which was how the bet had started in the first place. It hadn't been easy to bring in that many butterflies, but he'd done it, because every time you smiled at one, his heart would skip a beat.

He wanted you back so badly it hurt. He was determined to not let you go.

He'd do anything for your smile.

When you start to feel hungry, there's a lovely table serving an array of bite sized foods, beautifully crafted and delicious, it's odd, that there are so many things you like, in beautiful styles that accentuate the theme of the party.

The food spans a large range, from savoury crab cakes and meatballs to sweet minuscule cheesecakes. Even the vegan options are amazing and you enjoy sampling everything willingly.

Matt is delightful, asking you what he's stabbed his little fork into before he places it into his mouth and you get to appreciate him deep in thought while he assesses all the flavours.

"Thank you for coming with me." You say to him softly, bumping his shoulder.

He smiles.

"I'm happy to. Honestly, I haven't done anything like this since- well... you know..."

You wanted to ask what he meant by 'this', but you think you'd wait till the end of the day to make any kind of corrections on Matt's assumptions.

"It's honestly pretty lame when you're alone." You confess to him, looking around and remembering a time you weren't quite so alone in places like these. Too bad it was fake.

You blink, sighing with the weight of your pain.

"Can I confess something to you?" Matt asks, and you nod, raising your head to look up at him.

When he only waits expectantly, you realise your mistake.

"Oh, um, yeah."

He grins.

"You nodded, didn't you."

"Yes." You say shyly.

"Don't fret, happens all the time. Anyway-" he steps in closer, and your eyes widen. His hand moves over your shoulder so that he hugs you from the side.

"I have a superpower." He whispers to you.

You gulp.

"Oh?"

He nods.

"Losing my sight made my hearing really really good."

"...Right." you say, confused.

"It means I can pick up on things that you're trying to hide. Something else happened, didn't it?"

"What- what makes you say that?" You whisper to him.

"Because there's a man standing across the room facing us, and he's really pissed."

You don't look immediately. You blink at Matt for a long moment.

"How do you know he's pissed?" You ask.

"Heavy breathing. Racing heart. His fists are clenched."

"You can hear his fists clenching?" You ask in disbelief.

"Why don't you take a look and tell me." He challenges.

You do it casually, turning and pretending you're really looking for something in the room and when your eyes meet Billy's- he glances away.

"I can't see his hands, they're in his pockets." You murmur, and Matt hums in acceptance.

"Is he an old boyfriend?" He asks.

You turn back to him in surprise.

"You got all that from his heartbeat and his fists?" You ask, amazed.

"Not just him. You too."

Your shoulders sag in realisation.

"Oh. Yeah. We broke up a couple of weeks ago." You mumble looking down at the ground.

Matt pulls you in closer, his hand slipping down your shoulder and cupping your hip gently. The sensation is a little uncomfortable, especially since you barely know him.

"Is that the real reason you asked me here? To make him jealous?"

Your frown deepens.

"Jealous? N-no he doesn't even like me. I really just needed help with my coworkers and you've done that so well."

Matt seems to think for a long moment. Gradually, you grow used to his touch.

"So why do you think he's pissed?" He asks you.

You ponder for a moment, wondering how much to tell him. An orange monarch flutters by. You fight the urge to look back at Billy.

"I think he's mad because he's trying to get me back to prove a point. To prove that he can."

Matt doesn't respond, and when you open your mouth to ask a question, you're distracted by a little crowd gathering. A woman steps up, her voice is gentle and commanding. You think she's one of the newer media managers, and she looks delighted to announce that there's a prize to be won.

You have a little epiphany when you see the flower crown. It's something right out of your daydreams, you remember cooing in delight when you first saw something like it in a movie you were both watching. You were tucked into his side, your bare legs intertwined with his.

"I love flower crowns so much." You'd said, admiring each actress wearing one. Billy had hummed, deep in thought, and you didn't think he'd remembered a detail so minuscule.

"The flowers on those don't look like anything special. Wouldn't roses be prettier?" He'd asked.

You'd simply told him no, that the flowers were beautiful because they were basic. A seemingly pretty item turned beautiful with just a bit more care and attention. Something you'd always wished about yourself. That you could be an ordinary thing made more beautiful by the things around you.

You hold your breath when you meet his eyes, unable to do both with the raw emotion inside you. Across the room, he's looking right back at you. The ache takes a second to hit you.

Do you really see me? You wonder, or was this just another game?

"Oh wow, it's really pretty, like in that movie! The weird one... with the cult." Someone says.

Midsommar.

It had become one of your favourite movies.

"The horror?" Another person asks, "With that girl from that other thing?"

Yes. Midsommar, you think, inching forward to look at the crown. Matt moves curiously with you, but you're not really paying attention to him as much.

"I can't remember the name of the movie. What was it again?" The first person continues speaking.

It's Midsommar. It's Midsommar. It's Midsommar.

"It's Midsommar." He says, and you swallow because he's right beside you now, and when he turns to glance at you, and you feel your stomach flip, everything makes sense.

It had been designed all for you.

The flowers, the butterflies, the food, the drink, even the crown...

Billy had thrown this entire event for you.

It's bittersweet. There's a warmth in your heart and a pang in your throat and you love it but you're in pain and you're barely aware that Billy is introducing himself to Matt.

"Hey, Billy Russo, Anvil CEO." He says extending a hand.

"Matt Murdock. Attorney." Matt responds, not extending his hand in return.

There's an awkward moment of silence before you lean in toward Matt.

"He's got a hand out for you to shake." You whisper and Matt makes a sound of realisation, reaching for Billy's hand.

"Apologies, I keep forgetting that without my stick, I look like I can see."

You try not to laugh and fail a little.

When Billy asks what Matt's relationship to you is, you feel your heart jump into your throat. Which was ridiculous. It's not like Billy liked you anyway.

"Matt's my boyfriend." You answer for Matt, knowing that Billy would see through your engagement story. It had only been around three weeks since you'd ended things with him. Saying that Matt was your fiance would raise too many flags.

Billy's eyes move to yours. A pained expression flits across his face before his features settle into a stony mask.

He nods, leaning away from you.

"Well, I hope you two have a nice time. Nice meeting you Matt."

Matt doesn't get a chance to respond before Billy turns and walks away.

"Well now I know for a fact that he likes you." Matt confesses when you're out of earshot of anyone else.

"How so?" You say softly to him, too deep in your head, concern for Billy eating at you.

"Everytime he looks at you. His heart races."

You look at Matt. You really look at him.

"It can't be true. He broke my heart." You murmur in that same soft voice.

Matt doesn't try to protest, a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Come on, let's go for a walk in the little maze people keep talking about."

Billy's hands shake as he walks away from you.

A boyfriend? So soon? Billy was still trying to get his feet back under him after losing you and you'd taken the time to find a boyfriend?

He was probably just a rebound. Someone you could use to take your mind off of him, but the thought of you getting over him was sour through and through.

He tosses back two whiskeys before he can focus.

It felt like shattering. Like being consumed from the inside out. There was you, and there was someone beside you that wasn't him and in the time it takes Frank to find him, Billy begs any god listening for a second chance.

Frank's hand slaps down affectionately on Billy's shoulder.

"How are we doing?" Frank's asks.

Billy takes a third drink.

"I'm an asshole." He responds.

"You got that right." Frank agrees.

"I didn't think she would- I just want to-" Billy sighs in frustration, frowning when he can't get the words out.

"Sometimes there's a voice inside of me calling me to do bad things. The first time I heard that voice shut up was when I was with her."

Frank takes a sip of his drink.

"I hear that brother," he sympathises, "the war never really leaves us, right?"

"...right." Billy agrees.

"Don't give up just yet. The plan might be a little longer, but it's a good plan. Castles don't quit."

Billy's mouth curves up. He was a Castle too.

"Thanks Frank. That means a lot."

He gives Billy a reassuring nod.

"What a fucking douchebag." Is Matt's first response when you explain Billy's betrayal.

You laugh, loudly, before catching yourself and smothering the sound.

"Yeah." You say, voice laced with humour, "It is what it is."

"Okay, but, you're not annoying. Like, at all." Matt argues.

"Thanks." You say, believing that he only thinks like that because you've been holding back on him, fighting the urge to ramble at every opportunity.

The walls of the maze are a little high above your head and you giggle when you get to a crossroads and you turn one way and Matt turns the other way.

"Come on. Let's go this way."

You don't even bother to think about it.

"Okay, sure."

He leads you down a dead end, to a statue of Aphrodite, standing behind a white marble bench.

"How did you know this was here?" You ask, amazed.

"There's something here? I have no idea." Matt responds.

"It's a white statue of Aphrodite, standing on a seashell, her hair is flowing. It's a popular one."

When you get close enough, you guide one of Matt's hands to her knee, so that he has an idea of the texture.

"You're familiar with Greek gods too?"

You look down with a little bit of shame in your expression.

"Yeah..."

"Don't be shy about it, it's really cool. What do you know about her?"

You look up at her, and you give Matt a quick summary of her violent origins. Born from the sea foam of her father's decapitated testicles.

"Ouch." Matt sympathises.

You grin at him, bumping his shoulder with yours playfully.

"Someone's coming." Matt says, turning his head to listen. You go quiet too, you think you can barely hear what he hears.

"Stacy, I think her name is... and a few more people."

"Fucking Stacy." You whisper to yourself.

Matt grins.

"You don't like her?"

"She started the rumour that you were fake in the first place."

Matt hums in thought.

"Wanna give them something to talk about?"

You smile at him.

When the group stumbles upon the two of you, they find Matt's arms wrapped securely around you, kissing you breathless.

You break apart at the first gasp you hear and you smile, apologising to the group, before tugging at Matt and pulling him past.

You're both laughing wildly as you escape the maze. You suck in air, quickly let out on staccato breaths and you only pause when you turn your head to realise how public the space you're in really is.

Your lips don't tingle, not like the first time they did when you kissed- him, but you still find that you're willing to do it again, because Matt's a very very good kisser.

"Sorry if it was bad for you." You say to him, worried that kissing you, like everything else about you, was unpleasant.

"Are you kidding? You were amazing." Matt's expression sobers.

"Did someone tell you that you were bad at it? Because they'd be insane."

"No, no, no," you say quickly, "I'm just... making sure."

He grins, leans forward, kissing your cheek gently.

"I'd do that all day if you'd let me." Matt whispers seductively in your ear, and your mouth drops open in shock and arousal.

"Oh, you are trouble, Matthew Murdock." You say, taking his hand and heading back to the bar with him.

It's hard to pretend you don't notice... but you catch some people talking about you. It's subtle, and it's not a lot of people, but it's the way they glance at you every now and then that gives it away.

You try to ignore it, you realise you hate the way it feels, wishing you hadn't been caught kissing Matt in the first place.

Your shoulders drop. You hated this feeling. You look up again and make eye contact with one of them. They look away, laughing.

Maybe you really should quit.

Between this and Billy- you really begin to debate how necessary your job is.

You look down at your feet.

Why weren't you made to be someone better? Why did you have to be this way?

You sip your drink forlornly, only raising your head when the caged ball begins to spin. You look up, watching the little papers inside the ball toss and tumble as it turns, curious to see which name would be chosen.

Matt, who'd been busy taking a call, returns to your side as the ball stops rolling.

"Sorry about that." He says to you, and you turn your head to look at him, smiling.

"It's okay, you didn't miss anything." You say on a hushed breath.

"I missed you." He responds easily, and you grin at him, not hearing the first time your name is called.

You turn your head in surprise as your name is called again. Marissa, who you'd learned was the new media consultant, looks around the room expectantly.

"I think you just won." Matt says, a firm hand on the small of your back pushing you forward and your mouth drops open in surprise.

You take a hesitant step, and then people begin applauding for you when they catch sight.

The lights at the front are bright, and they dazzle you when you get closer, weaving through the small crowd of people to approach a smiling Marissa.

You swallow when she ushers you toward an expectant Billy.

Had he planned this?

You can't help the excitement that simmers inside of you when he reaches for the leafy crown. It's gorgeous and it's going on your head and for the first time in a long while, you let your excitement show on your face.

You don't look at him when he places it on your head, but when it's finally there, you build up the courage to meet his eye. You can't help the genuinely happy smile that spreads on your face. He gives you a pleased look in return.

The crown prickles your scalp as you tilt your head a little, accommodating for the weight of it. He leans forward until his face is beside yours, you resist the urge to make a sound as his cheek brushes yours, his beard rubbing harmlessly against your face.

"You're beautiful." He says softly, and you close your eyes tight for a second, squeezing both hands into fists for a moment, unable to process all your feelings about this.

Thankfully, you're in public, and everyone is watching you, which means Billy doesn't have a chance to say anything else, and you can smile gracefully and step away from him without any excuse.

It hurts to watch you walk away.

You're a vision with the crown of flowers on your head and your dress flowing around you and you remind him of some goddess he once read about that was so beautiful that a dark being fell in love with her and he thinks he feels the same because he wants to beg on his knees for just a second more in your presence.

He'd do it so easily that it scares him. He's never knelt for another soul willingly but he would for you because he knows you.

The knowing is the worst part.

The sound of your laughter on his lips and your quiet gasps in his ear and the way he made you wriggle in the morning with ticklish kisses to all your most sensitive spots and Billy knows too much.

He knows what Matt tastes when he kisses you next, when you return to his side and Billy watches him slowly lean in to place a firm kiss on your lips. The way he felt when your lips were on his is seared into his head except that he's forgetting how it actually felt and there's something inside Billy that's cracking from the pain.

It's unlike anything he's ever felt before, like being set on fire, or breaking every bone in his body, maybe those things would hurt less than this.

You laugh at something Matt says when he pulls back, but it doesn't meet your eyes. Billy watches you take his hands and help him feel around the crown of flowers, and you both smile together.

He doesn't realise that everyone has already dissipated back into their casual conversations until Frank squeezes his shoulder.

"You're staring." Frank says.

"I love her." Billy murmurs, half in realisation, half in fear.

Frank squeezes his shoulder in sympathy, unable to say anything.

When Matt stiffens during your little ramble of the flowers on your head, you pause.

You watch him turn his head in the direction of Billy and Frank conversing across the room and you frown.

"Am I talking too much?" You ask in a small voice.

He turns his head back to you quickly.

"Not at all, sorry I just got a little distracted for a moment there. You were saying?"

"The um... purple ones are daisies... they're little and have a yellow centre."

"Sounds very pretty." Matt hums.

You smile, a real one, and you feel the happiness wash over you.

"They are very pretty I'm so excited." You confess.

Matt smiles along with you.

"I can tell, I bet you look beautiful. I'm sure you do."

You swallow, a little smile tilting on your face. He looks so unbelievably genuine when he says it, you have to glance away to collect your feelings.

The rest of the evening is good, so many people give you compliments on your look and you feel like your face hurts from all the smiling you've done. There are some butterflies attracted to the flowers in your crown and you're happy to allow the company hired photographer to take a few shots of you alone, and then of you and Matt and Dex and some other coworkers.

You try your hardest not to ramble on about the flowers or the butterflies, keeping your answers short and you think that it's what probably makes people like you a little bit more.

It doesn't last, and you should have known better.

You're in the corridor outside the bathroom when you hear it. A small group of people around the corner from where you are, talking.

"I heard her going on about the different flowers on the crown to her fiance. I feel so sorry that the poor guy had to go through that." One voice says, and the words make you freeze. It was clearly about you.

"I know right! Does she ever shut up?" You hear someone else speak, and you begin to back away in shame.

"He's lucky he's blind because I wouldn't want to-"

You can't listen to any more, turning on your heel and immediately stopping short when you catch Billy standing behind you.

You know he's heard what they said, same as you, standing too close to the corner to pretend you haven't heard that it's you they're making fun of, their voices loud, echoing down the hall.

His eyes are dark, and filled with denial on your behalf. He gives a little shake of his head.

It's not true, he seems to say.

Your heart screams in your chest, and you don't say a word, you keep your face calm, walking around him and heading down the corridor, back the way you came.

You dart into the first empty room you can find, a room with various pieces of art settled on the walls and a white bench in the middle for viewing. You take in a deep breath, and you let out a big sigh, felling every ounce of happiness drain out of you completely. You wonder about all the annoying things you've done and said to deserve those comments. You should have just kept to yourself. You shouldn't have left the safety of your apartment at all.

You fight the tears, numb from the pain, and aching for a release that you're not ready to give.

It's where he finds you, sitting on a little marble bench in the middle of the room. Your back is to him as he steps forward. Billy thinks hard about what he's going to say. He thinks simply about the revenge he's going to get on your behalf

You hated being you. Nothing would change that. You should have learned by not that people would never like you for you.

"None of that was true." He says behind you, and you let out another long sigh, your shoulders drop at his words.

You don't say anything, reaching up to take the stupid crown off your head and look at the little leaves and wildflowers woven in.

Billy sits in the spot beside you.

"Do you hear me? Nothing about you is even remotely annoying."

You swallow the lump in your throat. What a load of bullshit he was serving you.

You raise your head, blinking back tears. You should have known you couldn't be happy for long.

"I love hearing you talk about the things you like. You get so happy and I love seeing you happy because it makes me happy too." Billy continues, even though you haven't spoken.

"Stop." You whisper with a shaky voice.

"You can hate me how much you want. I won't have you believe lies. Those fuckers are just jealous of you."

"Jealous of what, Billy? My dumb sense of humour? My weird, niche interests? My ugly laugh?" You stop talking to take deep breaths. Trying to push the sorrowful feeling away.

"None of that is-"

"It doesn't matter." You say with a shake of your head, cutting him off.

Your breath catches when he slides in closer. Your leg is pressed to his, your shoulder to his, you look up at him in surprise as a tear spills down your face.

He reaches for the handkerchief in his breast pocket, dabbing the plum material over your cheek to soak up the tear without pulling any of your makeup off.

"You are gorgeous, and smart and witty and sure, maybe your sense of humour isn't for everyone, but no one's humour is. But I think you're funny, and I love the way you smile, and I think people are jealous of you because you've got that light inside you that makes to stand out in a room even when you're not trying." Billy says.

You don't look at him, because he's looking at you, and you're afraid to look into his eyes because you're afraid of what you might find... and what you may not.

You give a shake of your head.

"I'm nothing special." You murmur, moving to give him the flower crown, placing it onto his lap.

You watch his hands pick up the crown.

"You are the most special person. I'd spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to."

He raises the crown, and gently, sets it back on your head.

You finally look up to meet his warm eyes. Your heart stutters in your chest. His words couldn't be true, they couldn't be anything more than a game.

He cups your cheek, leaning in.

You wonder if this could be a part of the bet. If it is, you think you're okay with letting it happen.

You close your eyes as his nose brushes yours, his face slants a little to allow his lips to meet yours.

It's only one kiss, but it stretches for lifetimes and you wouldn't have it any other way. His hand is still on your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in soothing movements, you feel your body relax, your mind clears. Kissing him pushes away the bad thoughts, it makes you feel whole, and for a moment, it's just you and him in frozen time, being reminded of how amazing being with him was.

Before-

You break the kiss slowly, looking away from him, feeling lighter than you have in days.

"Why did you do that?" You whisper, too afraid that your voice will break whatever link you have to him- however fragile it might already be.

"Because I wanted to." He says lowly, as if he understands the delicate nature of things.

You swallow, standing up on shaky legs, wobbling a little as your feet protest the distance from him.

"I should go." You say, turning away, never meeting his eye as you walk out the door.

You don't see the way his shoulders drop.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #my writings #the punisher #the angst #billy russo imagine #billy russo x you #billy russo x y/n #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fanfiction

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sunshineandaisies · 3 years

Text

Dirty Paws & Wet Kisses

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU)

Words: ~3.7k

Warnings: language, floofs and fluff

Note: if you ever read anything written by me that includes dogs, their names will always be kinda extra or related to historical figures (i.e. my dog is actually named Theodore Roosevelt) and I will try my best to make their names increasingly extra with every fic that involves dogs

You’d argue that your four year old sheperd mix was the most well behaved dog in all of New York until your dying breath.

Most days.

During your weekly trips to the park on Sunday afternoons, she would sit at your feet, lounging in the sun as she watched joggers go by and playfully saying hello to anyone - be they human or dog - that stopped by to pet the pretty pup while you read whatever book you’d picked up from the bookstore earlier that week.

Sure, there were a few times that she would whine and stare down any squirrel that strayed too close to her, but she never left your side.

Maybe that’s why you had grown so complacent, why you’d stopped looping her leash around the bench to secure her to your side and simply kept the leash within your reach beside you on the seat of the bench.

And it was because of that complacency that you were sprinting across the park, chasing your naughty dog and drawing judgemental stares from other park-goers.

“Hazel!” you called after her. “Hazel, I swear to god I’m taking all your toys away when we get home!” Right after you took a nice long bath to soothe your aching muscles. When was the last time you’d run this much?

You lost sight of her when she disappeared around a hedge, and the internal panic that set in was almost worse than the time that you accidentally emailed your creative writing professor the Harry Potter fanfiction you’d written instead of your final paper. (You still got an A on the assignment, but that’s besides the point).

You see her as soon as you round the corner, happily licking at a stranger’s face as she sat between his legs, and-

Holy shit, your dog led you to the most attractive man you’ve ever seen.

The stranger took note of you before you had a chance to say anything, and he raised his brow at you while angling his face away from Hazel’s kisses. “Does this belong to you?” he asked, pinching the tags on Hazel’s collar between his thumb and two fingers. “Hazelnut Mocha.” He snorted. “Is that your dog’s name or your Starbucks order?”

You weren’t sure if it was the amused smile that curled his lips or the quirk of his brow, but his teasing made you feel personally attacked. You crossed your arms across your chest. “Maybe it’s both.”

He shrugged, scratching the spot behind Hazel’s ear. “I suppose that’s one way to never forget your dog’s name or your coffee order.”

You hummed noncommittally before approaching and tugging Hazel away from the handsome stranger. It took considerably more effort than you had thought it would. “I’m really sorry about her,” you apologized. “She’s never like this. I don’t really know what happened.”

He brushed your apology off with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. If a cute girl wants to give me kisses, I certainly won’t complain.” He winked at you, and you wanted to just melt on the spot.

“Well, uh, I should, um-” You cleared your throat, stepping away and dragging a disappointed Hazel along with you. “Again, I’m really sorry. Even if you didn’t mind.”

You turned and hurried away before his smile made your mind any more frazzled.

Two weeks passed before you decided to show your face at the park again, and this time, you were sure to secure Hazel’s leash to your bench, ensuring that there would be no chases across the park and embarrassing encounters with handsome strangers.

The pup resigned herself to her fate and laid at your feet in the grass, her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her golden eyes shining in the sunlight. She greeted the other dogs that passed, and you thought nothing of it until you heard someone call her name.

Well, shit. You knew that voice. That voice had haunted your dreams for three nights straight after the incident two weeks ago.

“How have you been, pretty girl?” he asked, and you hesitantly lifted your gaze from your book to see him knelt in front of you, patting Hazel’s head as she yipped happily and dragged her tongue over his face in sloppy kisses.

Despite your proclivity to stare at handsome men that showered your dog with attention, your eyes were dragged away from the pair when a wet nose nudged your leg. “Well hello there,” you greeted the brown and white dog that sought your attention. You quickly marked your page and returned your book to your bag before petting your newest furry companion. “What’s your name, handsome?”

“Bucky,” the stranger answered.

You glanced up at him briefly before turning your attention back to the brown and white dog. “Aren’t you a handsome boy, Bucky. Yes, you’re so handsome,” you cooed. The stranger chuckled, and you glanced up expecting to see Hazel mauling him with more sloppy kisses, but instead, he was staring at you, amusement dancing in his blue eyes. “What?”

“I’m Bucky,” he clarified before nodding towards the dog. “That’s Dodger.”

“And you just assumed that I was talking about you when I called him handsome?”

And in complete contrast to how he had acted in your previous interaction, he actually looked embarrassed, nervously scratching the back of his neck while fending off even more kisses from Hazel. “I seem like a complete asshole, don’t I?” he asked sheepishly.

You laughed. “Well, I mean… Don’t let this go to your head or anything, but I suppose you are kind of handsome, too. You know, in a handsome stranger kind of way.” You felt your cheeks flood with warmth, and you averted your gaze, hoping he didn’t see just how flustered you were after your admission. You tried to breeze past it altogether by giving all of your attention to Dodger once again, petting him and praising him for being such a sweet boy.

After a moment of you and Bucky speaking only to each other’s dogs, you cleared your throat and commented, “I didn’t realize you had a dog. Was he at the park with you the day that Hazel practically assaulted you?”

“He’s not my dog.”

You blinked. “Oh. Is he your girlfriend’s dog?”

And just like that, all hints of embarrassment disappeared from his face. He quirked a brow and smirked at you. “My girlfriend?”

“Or boyfriend,” you added hastily.

He snorted and shook his head. “It depends on who you ask.”

You cocked your head to the side, and the action conjured up an image of Hazel doing the same whenever you would try to hold an actual conversation with her. “Uh, what?”

His gaze flitted to the ground as he smiled an amused little smile that had you biting your lip and shamelessly staring at the man. “It’s a bit of a joke among my friends,” he began. “Dodger is my buddy Steve’s dog. Some of our friends like to make it seem like we’re dating, but we definitely aren’t. We just know each other way too well.” His smile widened when he looked back up at you. “So to answer the question that you indirectly asked-”

You furrowed your brows in confusion. “What?”

“-I’m single, sweetheart.”

You gaped at him, trying to form an appropriate response. This man was frustrating - frustratingly handsome, frustratingly smug, frustratingly able to read you like a goddamn open book. How dare he correctly assume you were trying to figure out if he was single or not?

The sound of a phone ringing interrupted your thought process, and Bucky gave you an apologetic look after glancing down at his phone. “I gotta take this,” he told you. You heard him greet the other person on the other end of the call before calling for Dodger. As he turned to go, he paused for a moment, pressed the phone against the front of his shirt to muffle the receiver, and called over his shoulder. “See you around, Hazel and Hazel’s mom.”

Right. You never gave him your name.

You were cursing yourself for nearly a month for not getting his phone number before he disappeared, and you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that you had a smidge of hope that you’d run into him at the park again... But alas, no luck.

You were starting to think that you’d never see your handsome park stranger - although, he wasn’t really a stranger anymore, was he? - but exactly 37 days after your last encounter with Bucky (aka handsome park stranger), Hazel brought you back together in the most heart attack inducing way she could manage.

You’d been sitting on the patio of your favorite little cafe, catching up with Carol and Val over coffee and fluffy pastries, and Hazel had been behaving herself aside from the occasionally whining and begging when any of you would touch your food.

She was behaving until she wasn’t.

You still don’t really know what set her off, but one moment she was sitting prettily and staring up at you with her golden eyes and the next she was breaking free from her leash and sprinting down the street and out of your sight.

You posted on social media asking everyone to be on the lookout for your Hazel and called your friends to help you search for her. You spent hours walking up and down the city streets and through the park that you frequented with Hazel. You called all of the shelters and animal control to see if anyone had brought Hazel to them instead of calling you. You talked to anyone and everyone that you passed on the street, asking if they’d seen your girl.

You tried so much to get your girl back, but nothing panned out.

You were in tears and your feet were sore from walking all over the goddamn city by the time you and the others returned to your apartment, resigned to wait for someone to contact you. Just as you were about to say goodnight to everyone and turn in for the night (read: cry yourself to sleep), your phone rang, and an unfamiliar number flashed across the screen. You shushed your friends and answered the phone.

Please be someone who found Hazel. Please be someone who found Hazel. Please be someone who found Hazel.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Your heart leapt into your throat at the sound of his voice, and for a moment you forgot that you had just been on the verge of a panic attack. “Take a deep breath for me, okay. I can practically feel you panicking through the phone. I have Hazel. She’s okay.”

“Thank you,” you breathed, nodding at your friends in response to their questioning looks. “Thank you so much, Bucky. Is she okay? Where did you find her? Should I meet you somewhere?”

He chuckled. “She’s fine. A little dirty, but she’s fine. As for where I found here...Well, I think your dog has a little crush on me, sweetheart.”

You grabbed your jacket from the coat rack and slipped it on before grabbing your keys. “What does that mean?”

“I came home and found her wandering around the courtyard at my apartment.” He sounded far too amused with the situation, and you definitely weren’t feeling up to dealing with his smug attitude. “She certainly made herself at home here. I may need to fight for shared custody after this.”

You rolled your eyes. “Just tell me where I should meet you.”

“I’ll send you my address.”

And just as he had told you, as soon as you ended the call, he shared his location with you. You swiftly assured Carol and Val that Hazel was okay, and you asked them to lock up when they left before beginning your walk to Bucky’s apartment.

Ten minutes later, you were sat on the floor of his living room, holding Hazel close to you and alternating between scolding her and telling her how much you love her as you tried to hold your tears at bay. Bucky sat on the couch, arms rested on his knees as he watched the teary-eyed reunion with a small smile curling his lips.

“You know, sweetheart,” he spoke up, drawing your attention away from Hazel, and you finally noticed the muddy paw prints on the front of his white tee. “I’m not much of a dog-person but-”

You gasped, covering Hazel’s floppy ears. “How dare you say such nonsense in front of Hazel!” You pressed a kiss between her eyes, whispering, “It’s okay, girl. Bucky didn’t mean it.”

“I did,” he countered, chuckling when you glared at him. “I’m more of a cat-person, but I suppose I can make an exception for Hazel. After all, she seems pretty attached to me. Not that I can blame her.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “She has awful taste in men,” you teased.

“I don’t know,” he argued. “People say that dogs are impeccable judges of character.”

You stood, dusting your jeans off and turned to face Bucky. “Thank you,” you told him, the sincerity clear in your voice. “I don’t know what I would have done if I couldn’t find her. I- I seriously owe you. Whatever you want, just name it.”

His blue eyes twinkled with mischief, and you immediately regretted your offer. “What about shared custody of Hazel?”

“Whatever you want that’s not that, just name it,” you amended.

“What about a date?” he asked instead.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you gaped like a fish, mouth opening and closing, opening and closing, over and over again as you tried to form a response. You certainly hadn’t been expecting that. He watched you with curious eyes, waiting patiently for your answer. Finally, the gears in your brain began to turn again and you answered, “As flattered as I am, I’m not really looking to date right now.”

Disappointment flashed across his features, but he smiled and all trace of disappointment was gone in an instant. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. You don’t owe me anything for being a decent person and making sure Hazel got back to you.”

You smiled softly at him, your fingers carding through Hazel’s fur. “Thank you, Bucky. Really.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

After that night - and after you and Bucky officially had each other’s numbers - you and he would text throughout the week, and you often sent him pictures of Hazel being increasingly goofy as the days wore on. You’d even invited him to the park one Sunday to see Hazel again, but he’d quickly turned you down, asking for a rain check.

He had a date, after all.

So instead, you took Hazel to the park and sent him pictures of the pretty pup lounging in the sunshine, greeting other dogs that passed by, and even licking the camera lens on your phone when she finally noticed you holding your phone out towards her to get the perfect angle. A smile never failed to appear on your face every time he sent a heart eyes meme in response.

Despite the near constant texting, you didn’t see Bucky again for over three weeks, and you’d only seen him because you had run into his friend Steve at the dog park.

It took a moment for you to realize that the brown and white dog that Hazel had instantly greeted once she’d been released from her leash was Dodger, but as soon as the realization sunk in, you looked around for Bucky.

There weren’t many people present, but you couldn’t find Bucky among the dog parents that lingered around the edges of the dog park.

You crouched down to greet Dodger, scratching him behind the ears and happily accepting his greeting kisses. “Hello, handsome. Is your uncle Bucky here?”

“Y/N?”

You turned your head in the direction of the voice, and you furrowed your brows when you saw a tall blond man that you didn’t recognize. Holy shit, was Hazel a handsome stranger magnet? “Do I know you?” you asked, doing your absolute best to keep your voice steady.

“Right, sorry,” he laughed. “I’m Steve. Bucky’s mentioned you a few times.”

You put two and two together quickly. “You’re Dodger’s dad!”

You spent the better part of the next hour chatting with Steve as Dodger and Hazel chased one another around the enclosed area, and you sent a picture of you and Steve to Bucky, happily claiming that Steve was telling you all of Bucky’s most embarrassing stories. (Bucky had sent a text to Steve within seconds of reading your text, but Steve refused to tell you what Bucky had said all while laughing so hard he nearly cried).

By the time Hazel and Dodger were laying at yours and Steve’s feet, panting and entirely worn out from an afternoon of playing, you were ready to say your goodbyes, but Steve quickly caught your attention before you could go.

“I’m meeting Bucky and a few other friends at the bar in about an hour. Would you be interested in getting a drink?” he asked, smiling so widely at you that you just couldn’t say no.

And that was how, after dropping Hazel off at home and making sure she was fed and had a full bowl of water, you found yourself at a sports bar, slinking through the Friday night crowd towards a table in the back.

You spotted Bucky immediately, and you smiled widely when his eyes widened and he choked on his beer before promptly standing to greet you. “What are you doing here, sweetheart?”

“Sweetheart?” you heard one of the men you didn’t recognize ask the others.

“Y/N,” Steve explained, and as if that was all they needed to know, the other two nodded. Steve smiled up at you, greeting, “Glad you found the place okay.”

Bucky quickly ushered you into the booth, sticking you between him and the only other woman present. As he introduced you to the others - Clint, Sam, and Nat - his arm snaked around your shoulders casually.

“So you’re the famous Y/N,” Sam asked, a teasing smile on his face as his gaze flitted from you to Bucky, and Bucky groaned in response.

You chuckled. “I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘famous’.”

“Oh, trust me,” Sam said, “as much as this guy talks about you, I’d say you’re pretty damn famous in our circle.”

You glanced at Bucky, biting your lip in a futile attempt to hide your amused smile. “Is that right?”

He huffed. “Hazel’s the real famous one, sweetheart.”

“Liar,” Nat accused. She turned to you, one perfectly shaped brow raising. “For weeks, it was Hazel’s mom this and Hazel’s mom that, and after that it was Y/N sent me this picture and Y/N told me this joke. I feel like I already know you, and I just met you.”

“So how’s Hazel?” Bucky asked in a clear attempt to change the topic. “Did she have a fun day with Dodger?”

You spent your evening getting to know Bucky’s friends better, sharing stories about Hazel, and listening intently anytime one of them told you a story about Bucky that had your sides aching from laughter. At the end of the evening, you had four new contacts in your phone and plans to meet up with Nat for lunch the following week.

“Need me to walk you home, sweetheart?” Bucky asked when you walked out together, but you shook your head.

“Nah.” You held up your phone, showing him the screen. “I got an Uber.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, nodding. “Okay. Text me when you get home?”

“Of course.” A red Toyota Camry pulled up to the curb, and after confirming it was the car that was supposed to pick you up, you stepped towards it. Ever the gentleman, Bucky opened the door for you, and you slid into the backseat. “Good night, Bucky.”

It was while you laid in bed that night, unable to sleep while Hazel snored beside you, that you realized that the handsome park stranger - the one that was more of a cat-person but would make an exception for Hazel; the one that was dating Steve depending on who you asked; the one that was constantly talking about you to his friends so much that they felt like they already knew you - had wormed his way into your heart.

Did that make Hazel your wing-woman? She certainly did have a proclivity for bringing you and Bucky together, even in indirect ways.

He was on your mind all night and throughout the following day, and by the time your customary trip to the park rolled around on Sunday afternoon, you were buzzing with anticipation. Would he be there again? Would Hazel inexplicably get loose from her leash and lead you straight to the man that had you feeling like a teenager with a crush again?

As romantic as it might have been, you didn’t want to leave those answers up to fate. Instead, you sent him a text not long after you woke up, letting him know where he could find you if he wanted to see Hazel that afternoon.

Unsurprisingly, it was Hazel that saw Bucky first that afternoon when he arrived at the park, and unsurprisingly, she tore her leash from your grip and sprinted towards him, nearly tackling him as he crouched closer to the ground to greet her.

Surprisingly, you were actually jealous of your dog as you watched her give him sloppy, wet kisses.

“What’s that look for, sweetheart?” Bucky asked, angling his face away from Hazel. “Everything okay?”

“Quick question,” you told him. “Is that date still on the table?”

He grinned at you with that smug grin that you had scoffed at the day you first met, that same smug grin that made your heart flutter in your chest and made your breath catch in your throat and made you want to press kisses to his face and-

“I was wondering when you’d take me up on the offer, sweetheart.”

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magicalsalamander · 4 years

Text

Lacuna

Pairing: Jin ⇆ Reader

Genre: Law Students | Werewolf | Childhood best friends to idiot enemies to lovers | F | A | S

Summary: Lacuna(n): (1) In law, a non liquet (commonly known as “lacuna in the law”) is any situation where there is no applicable law. (2) An unfilled space or interval; a gap.

You are well equipped at handling whatever life throws at you. You had worked hard to erase the past and mold a new you, and the future were to become a lawyer. Well, everything was planned expect for your ex best friend who came back into your life like a crashing gavel. Just when you thought you could deal with his presence, he was now your partner on a case that was bigger than you had ever imaged.

Words: 21K

Warning: Mature; explicit themes, sexual content, and violence. Lots of law inaccuracies. Alcohol and club situations. Heavy angst with lots of arguing. Previous trauma of abandonment, harsh words and feeling unworthy. Knotting, cunnilingus, fingering, mentions of impregnation, soft dom Jin, marking/claiming, and possessive behavior.

A/N: It’s been so long since I’ve put out something! I want to thank everyone for being so patient and always supporting me! Thank you @heyitsmee2 for reading over this early on. I apricate you!

*Story mildly edited due to time constraint, will edit further

You were no stranger to the game; surviving and trying to be someone in the charade of corporatism. ��It was all too important to be unemotional. You’d soon find yourself in Prometheus place than on the highest rock on Olympus if you let yourself slip and you were sure of your path.

Calculation leads to quantification—and it takes only seven second to make an impression.

Your throat narrows with altitude, but the breadth of your career expands.

The raspy voice of the jazz singer was a rich wine as she caressed the vintage microphone intimately. The soft notes of the piano and band follow in tandem with the slow, romantic song she sung. The dark golden hue casted over the ballroom from the multitude of chandeliers only perpetuated the elegance of the atmosphere. Parties like this were suffocating despite being in a room sized for a hanger. You wouldn’t doubt either than some of the patrons here own their own planes.

You down the rest of your wine nearly rolling your eyes at the romantic lyrics. When you were a little girl events like this were a dream, places like this gave promise of finding a prince charming. At least that’s what all the movies feed you and lead you to believe would happen until reality set in. This event wasn’t romantic in the slightest. It was to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the law firm. The entire point of the function tonight was to schmooze and be seen. As an intern, this was prime time for you. However, you suppose you were living the dream, just not a fairytale. You had worked hard to get this internship, nabbing one of the four spots that over thousands applied to. You had done what felt like to be the impossible—coming form a school that wasn’t ivy made it all the more surreal. Important business people, old and new money mixed in with ‘top of the food chain’ lawyers were all present and hiring opportunities post-graduation. That is if you don’t end up getting a job post with the firm, but a smart woman always keeps her options open.

The obligatory greeting and sucking up to had already passed and it was the lull of time where everyone was wondering who would be the first to leave. Your senses go off as you catch a two of four making his way through the crowd towards you. Standing up as if you hadn’t caught glimpse of Logan from your peripheral. You smile at those who you had shared the table with, names already forgotten, number three’s included, silently bidding them an underserved excuse me. You grab at the bottom of your dress and move through the crowd. You miss the scrunch in brow from Logan as he picks up speed after you. He was the typical American type of handsome with brown hair, strong brows, square face, shadowed beard, lean and tall. Logan was nice, made his name memorable by persistence, but the guy couldn’t take a hint. How he’s made it this far has been a mystery to you.

As you break the crowd going into the hallway, you hear him calling your name. Acting as if you couldn’t hear him, you ask a server where the restroom was and quickly headed in that direction. He began jogging to catch up with you. Your pace began to pick up too. You counted down the seconds, four, three, two—the bathroom was still to far to accommodate for your sudden pick up in counting.

“Y/n! Wait, oh, sorry, excuse me.” Timely a cart full of new hors d'oeuvre blocks his path.

Seeing his distraction, you abruptly turned and head down another hall from the main meant for staff. You reached for the first door and to your muttered curse when it was locked. You jogged to the second door which opened and closed it behind you as if fire was at your feet. Not bothering to turn on the light, you backed up further into the closet until you hit something. You had expected to hit a wall, but instead what you bumped into what oddly felt human, a large one at that. When they oofed, you scampered away. Fear thickening in you as you rapidly apologized under your breath. Instinct dictated you get out, as you opened the door to leave the heavy sound of footsteps outside had you closing it right back. The person with you murmured a beginning of a question but you quickly reached up, cupping the mouth of whomever was inside with you. Shushing them they quieted up instantly. The slight stubble under your hand indicated it was a man. At this point you didn’t care if they were someone important. You winced as you heard Logan calling your name again. The man murmured a muffled question that you couldn’t understand and you shushed them again until the footsteps outside quieted.

Sighing in relief you removed your hand from his mouth, using the same hand to search for a light switch. With an apology on the tip of your tongue turning to face the stranger, you froze, staring back equally as motionless as him in shock.

Kim Seokjin.

Number four.

Dressed to the nines in a black suit that clung to him tightly. His broad shoulders were pronounced, and with his height tall he took a lot of space. His thick, dark hair was pushed away from his face. His eyes flashed red before it disappeared back into its espresso color. He looked gorgeous. You’d never utter that out loud, but you couldn’t ignore it either. It irritated you even more. He irritated you.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” You drawled out the oh incredulously.

A smirk pulled at his thick lips. “Hello to you too.”

“I never knew you to be so forward, at least take me to dinner first.”

Looking around you realized you were in a janitor’s closet. The scent of bleach was thick, taking up as much space as Seokjin’s personality in the confined space.

“What are you doing here?” You asked while wiping the hand that was over his mouth on your dress not so subtly.

He shrugged, suffocating a laugh at your gesture. “Needed a break.”

That was hard to believe. Jin was a natural at talking to people. He made it seem easy. He always had this sense of composure and poise about him. Staring at eachother his eyes broke from your gaze as he looked you up and down. Suddenly feeling self-conscious you adjusted your dress. The black satin dress you were wearing suddenly felt tighter than when you put it on. Under his gaze you’ve always felt this way, vulnerable, but you’ve learned how to conceal it better over time.

“What?” You hissed at him when he still stared.

“This isn’t the first time you caught me in a closet.” Quietly he followed up with, “Reminds me of the first time we met.”

You don’t know what bothers you more, Seokjin’s casual reference to the past or the fact that you suddenly are placed back there. You remember being terrified, wrapping your blue, pilling blanket over your head only letting your head poke through. You had been reading under your blanket when you heard thumping coming from your closet. With your flashlight pointing at your closet you swallowed harshly as the sound came again. Your parents had told you that monsters were fake, but the sounds sounded real.

Your light was shaking on the white double doors. “H-Hello?” you bravely called out. The thumping stopped. You gulped inching closer. You were taught to be brave. Your dad said that monsters couldn’t hurt you, especially if you don’t show fear. Like the book you were reading, “Where the Wild Things Are”, you like Max, could confront the monsters too. You could become and make them friends with them. You were sure of it.

“H-hey,” swallowing hard, ”I’m opening the door, don’t bite me okay. I won’t hurt you.”

When no response resounded you breathed in deeply through your nose. Reaching out and yanking the door open you came face to face, inches away, from a boy hiding in your closet. A majority of your clothes were pulled from their hangers and piled on the floor which he was laying on. Similarly in equal fright from you bursting open the door, a shirt he had over his head fell off revealing furry grey dog ears. At the sound of your gasp, he gasped, and a tail that swept to the floor wrapped around his middle.

Buffering in the moment you stared at the boy who seemed to be around the same age as you. Recognition filters through you, “Max?” Your eyes lit up in wonder.

The boy squinted at you, almost upset. “My name’s not Max, it’s Seokjin!”

“Why do you have ears and a tail like him then?”

His brows furrowed, “Because I’m a—.”

You heard a knock on your door from your mother hushing Seokjin instantly. “Sweetie, are you still awake?”

The boy lurched forward cupping a hand over your mouth seeing you were going to respond. “You can’t tell anyone I’m here.”

You whispered, “Why?”

“Y/N?”

His eyes gleamed as he silently pleaded with you, switching between the shadow from under your bedroom door and your eyes, bidding for you to understand.

Nodding in understanding, somehow you understood. Your mom from the other side of the door sighed, “I know you’re pretending to sleep, Pumpkin. Put the book away. I know its Saturday but remember lights out by 9.”

“Okay, Mom.” Finally speaking up.

“G’night.”

She walked away.

Seokjin studied you carefully, eyeing you skeptically. “You’re not scared?”

“No, should I be?”

He paused truly thinking. “Yes. You should be.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m brave.”

He’s getting nervous and began muttering to himself. “You shouldn’t have seen me. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. It just smelled so nice.” The last part was whispered out low enough where you couldn’t hear it.

“How did you get in?”

He pulled you into the closet down next to him, closing the door behind. The flashlight was between you both pointing towards the ceiling tightly grasped between your hands. His hands over you. His gaze serious and intent. “Promise you won’t tell anyone, swear on it! Swear on your life!”

You felt like you were being presented the ultimate challenge. This boy was trusting you with his all, maybe this was your adventure. Your destiny. You could be honorable. You nodded, “I swear, I swear.”

“What are you though? Why do you have ears and a tail? Are they real?”

“They’re real.” He said haughtily before pridefully confessing. “I’m a werewolf.”

Your eyes were sparkling, the blanket surrounding you long forgotten and dropped. “Oh, wow! Can I touch your ears?”

He nodded. Your reaction to his secret was surprising to him. He had been told by his parents and everyone in the pack that he should never real his truth. Humans had been enemies for centuries, hunting his kind since the beginning of time. Although, the kind had lived amongst humans for centuries, finding ways to blend in and look alike. The difference was the ability to shift into their natural form.

“Why are you not, like, you know—a wolf?”

“Papa said I can shift fully when I become a man.”

You carefully reached up and felt. He shivered at the touch. “Puppy.”

He growled at you, “Don’t call me puppy.”

“But you’re cute.”

He blushed, scrambling up and pushing your closet door open before heading over to your window. “I have to go.” He began climbing out of your window landing on the ground. Your home was one floor.

You stuck your head out of the window. “Wait!”

He turned around,

“Will I see you again?”

He looked around, nodding before he disappeared between the trees.

It was nearly magnetic the way you both clicked. It was nearly painful being apart from eachother after that night. He would come to your window and sneak into your room almost every night. The following school year you finally went to the same school, Jin having convinced his parents he wanted to change schools. That’s when you both became inseparable. Years later he still snuck into your room, even though he could come through the front door, and still hid in your closet just to scare you. Although, you learned to growl back at him.

It was your normal, but at some point things began to change.

More specifically you were no longer kids. Puberty hit and you were no longer innocent to the maturity that began to bloom in you both. You knew Jin was always touchy. He would hug you and sometimes his hand would linger on you longer than necessary. He would lean in sometimes to smell you, nuzzling his nose against your temple. Initially it had bothered you, the sensation ticklish, but he had explained it quickly it was a werewolf thing. That didn’t change the way your heart would flip each time though.

Jin grew taller than you towering over you, and signs of man began replacing the baby fat. Time was good to him. He found a pack and you no longer spent every waking moment together. It wasn’t that you weren’t welcome, the six boys in his pack were nice, but you had your own group of friends that you began hanging out with. You suppose that was the beginning of the unraveling of your relationship. Naïve and feeling lost you latched onto the first group that accepted you.

Even if they weren’t good for you. You were becoming aware of popularity and boys as it was the only topic they choose to discuss. You began to feel self-conscious because your friends all had boyfriends before, but you still hadn’t. When you introduced the girls to Jin, your presence was made solely into providing information about the boys. The pack were isolationist, but you suppose that’s what made them more attractive besides their looks to hormonal teenage girls. Only now do you realize they accepted you was because you knew Jin and his friends. Specifically, one of the girls, Jenna—if you could remember correctly, would always asking you about Jin.

The breaking point was when Jenny, who knew of your obvious unrequited crush, finally asked you. “You wouldn’t mind if I ask him out right?”

“Jin?” You repeated his name as if you were unsure you heard her right. Although you heard his name coming out of her mouth more times than you can count.

“Yeah, Jin. I mean, you don’t like him, right?” Like a snake she drew out the last words, expression full of pity to resemble comfort. It didn’t help when the other girls at the table all had a similar expression, encouraging her and cornering you.

“I-I—.” You were cut off as another girl spoke up.

“Be real Jenny, they’ve been friend since forever. If he liked Y/n, he would’ve said so already. He doesn’t see her that way.”

The other girl sitting next to her laughed, “Totally doesn’t.”

Blinking back the tears, her words weren’t wrong. Embarrassment flushes through you. Embarrassed that you had even believed that Jin’s affection towards you could ever mean more. The fact that he had made your heart skip a beat. Swallowing your heartache, with a voice more confident than you felt, “Yeah. We’re only friends.”

Squeals and laughter echo out throughout the table in excitement. “Oh my god! Then when you two start dating, you should introduce us to the rest of the friends. I mean Y/n hasn’t done it, but I know you will.”

You were quickly forgotten. The bell rang and the all of them got up as they giggled and walked away to their classes. Sitting alone at the table, you stare at your tray, food partially nibbled on. A single tear falls down onto the table before you suck up the other that threatened to fall. How could you be so stupid. How could you have misread things all along? You get up from the table in a hurry, nearly tripping as your foot caught.

As you step out of the bench of the picnic table you make eye contact with Jin who had been standing at a lunch table a few tables away. The rest of the pack moving around him, but he was still staring at you.

Your embarrassment flushes deeper, had he had heard it all? Your heart breaks even further as you force a smile at him and he returned the gesture. The simple response solidifies everything—you’re just friends.

You miss the way his eyes follow you out of the lunchroom.

The heartache only gets worse as Jin begins making excuses on why he can’t hang out. Claiming he has pack things to deal with. You also begin making excuses no longer hanging out with the girls, even though they don’t seek you out. You instead dedicating your time in the library. You begin reading the books tucked away in the furthest corner of the library, vintage leatherbound books on laws, just to distract yourself. It becomes your new solace.

A few months pass, the sudden silence between you became increasingly awkward. You hadn’t realized how Jin was entangled with every single part of your life. You grew annoyed because your parents would always ask where Jin was. The visible change was when you began noticing the extra portion at the dinner table for him was no longer there. The look they began to give you, seeing the distress in you began to wear you thin.

Deciding enough was enough you decide to confront him, but still cowardly enough to do it between passing. Walking through the halls you headed towards his lockers, knowing he’d be there. His locker just a bit in from an intersection of the halls. When you finally catch sight of him he stood there with two other boys form his pack, Jimin and Hoseok. You swallowed hiding behind the wall where you could hear them, waiting for the two to leave so you could get to speak to him alone.

“Come on hyung. Come on another run tonight.” You could hear Jimin asking

Jin closed his locker after switching out his books then leaning up against it. “I can’t tonight.”

“Why? Gotta go see your girlfriend?” Jimin teases.

Jin hesitated.

You couldn’t see his expression from your place. Your heart sunk, lower lip trapped between your teeth. Had Jenny finally asked him out? Your heart was beating out of your chest.

“No, fuck off Jimin, you already know why.”

Your brows furrow. Has something been going on with Jin? How come he hasn’t told you. He used to tell you everything. You miss the conversation slightly as you contemplate what you’ve been missing with Jin. You had so much to ask him. The question on the tip of your tongue too was –had he finally fully shifted? He had always told you that he had wanted you to be the first he showed his wolf.

Zoning back in you hear Hoseok question. “Come to think of it, haven’t seen Y/n in a while, she doing okay?”

“Normally you’re like a dog in heat around her.”

“No I’m not! I don’t see her like that.”

“You sure?”

“I don’t have time for feelings or emotions.”

You cover your mouth, swallowing your feeling. You suffocate the tears. Everything the girls said were confirmed.

Jin had been so engulfed in his protecting his ego, he hadn’t been able to sense you just around the corner. He then smells it. He smells you. His head twirled towards the wall where he knew you were hiding just behind. He knows your there. He clenched his fist, he wants to go after you but he can’t, it would only prove the teasing.

Clenching your books closer to your chest you run away. Your mind working a thousand miles an hour. Lost in your turmoil you miss that you’re walking straight into someone. Stumbling slightly you look up seeing the person you didn’t want to run into. You don’t pause to apologize or recognize her yelling at you. You needed to get away. The whole day you manage to evade him and everyone—you praise that it was Friday.

Coming home your parents were sitting in the kitchen, the only light on in the house was hanging over the dinning table. Your parents look up at you sadly. “Honey, we have some bad news.”

Your backpack slouched off your shoulders and onto the floor as you took a seat.

Your mother swallowed, placing her hand on top of yours. “We’re moving. I’m sorry, Pumpkin. I know you have so many friends here. Your father’s job is forcing him to transfer to the city, the plant here is shutting down.”

You remain stoic, processing the information. However, you smile, squezzing her hand back in assurance. “How soon can we go?”

Their expression registered shocked. Clearing their throats as they somberly told you, “We’re leaving next week.”

Nodding you get up from the table, leaving your parents apologizing to you. You dragged yourself to your room. Standing alone in the darkness, words found you again. “Not soon enough.”

You moved away, and soon what it was like to be around him everyday was forgotten. You became strangers. An unpleasant memory.

You had done college, and decided early on that you wanted to go into law. Those leather bound, vintage law books was the only thing you actively brought with you from the past. Law was consistent, but ever changing. It allowed you to find a voice, a place where arguments meant something—your voice meant something. It paved the way for a new you and when you entered law school you flourished under the pressure. Everything felt like progress, at least until the day you showed up at the internship. You no longer had the luxury of pretending. Standing in the attorney’s office was Jin among the two other interns. Seeing him first saw him again felt like all wind had been sucked out of you. It was like a ghost had aspirated and so did the sting of rejection. It was all accompanied by an odd sense of longing that passed through you. You saw the way his eyes widened with recognition when he saw you.

But you both made no motion towards the other, frozen in space and time.

Ironically, time should have done its job and all healing had been done, but scars were just thicker scabs.

The nostalgia quickly washed away as it twisted into the familiar shape of disdain towards him. He was brilliant and It was irritating, so you always were sharp with him, cold even, not willing to lose to him. A rivalry quickly evolved between you. He seemed to feel the same way as he would always retaliate back. You couldn’t last a few minutes without bickering. Words just as venomous and an amused smirk always followed.

“What are you doing? Did I mess up a secret meeting?” He throws your question back at you, grounding you back into the present.

Looking at Seokjin now, he had grown up well. He had grown in height, completely towering over you. His shoulders were broad tapering off like a V to a tiny wait. He looked great in an all black suit. Thick, dark hair pushed away from his face showed off his thick brows and symmetric features. You had eyes, but your mouth would never admit it out loud how good he looked.

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Avoiding Logan.”

“Logan?” You missed the way his red eyes darken deeply as it looks black. He had heard the footsteps, but now he could put a name to it. “Are you fucking him?” He questions easily, never one for a filter.

Your eyes widen, the crudeness expected despite your aggressive bickering. “Are you seriously asking me that Seokjin?” The though was so absurd and ridiculous. Has he lost his mind. What more you had never even touched this type of topic with him before, who was he to ask about your sex life.

He tucked his hands into the pocket of his slacks. “I don’t know, it’s just an obvious conclusion to draw. Considering he follows after you like a lost puppy.” He feigned a look of pity. “It’s pathetic.”

The tone he takes with talking about Logan surprises you. He never outwardly showed that the man irritated him. You had seen them chatting around the office even. Considering your desk were next to one another it was inevitable. Anger filled you again, was he calling it pathetic because he was pursuing you? Bastard.

Lazily he leaned up against the shelf, as if he was waiting for a reaction he knew he’d get from you.

“I can’t deal with you right now.” you groan, an onset headache coming on from how childish it all was. Growing frustrated and hotter by the second stuck in the closet with him. You turned to leave.

“Leaving so soon? Don’t you want to wait for him to come back around?”

“Seokjin, will you cut it out. What is with you right now?”

He shrugged, still measuring you with a hardened gaze and lips tight in anger. “Nothing.”

Why was he so angry? Earlier you had noticed that all the bigwigs were laughing easily at his jokes. Something you couldn’t deny about Seokjin was his charisma. It was easy be persuaded by him, you used to be stupid enough to be swayed by it too. Shouldn’t he be on cloudy nine, probably having already solidified a job post grad.

“Whatever. Enjoy your night Seokjin. Don’t suck off potential employers too much.”

That had him laughing. “Ever one to need footsteps to be followed. Lead the way then.”

You glare at him in what you picture to be intimidating at him. Pulling open the door. “Fuck you Seokjin.”

You stomped away, faintly hearing the laughing coming from the closet. Luckily, no one was in the hallway.

You had been aimlessly staring at an one of the many orange sticky notes you had tacked onto the glass pane between the desk. Pink was current deadlines, orange upcoming, and blue was for your frustrations. The low cubicles truly didn’t provide privacy, but it wasn’t permanent anyways so you didn’t really put effort into personalizing it. You were trying to read the orange sticky note with the date November 29th ominously written on it. You couldn’t for the life of you remember what was due on that date. The pink note next to it reading the date December 4th was a blaring reminder of the last day of your internship.

Awakening from your thoughts you heard Logan still been droning on to you about whatever he was talking about. You had stopped listening after he called your name, you hummed like you were paying attention, then zoned out. He was leaning on the glass, his desk situated right next to yours. Jin’s was situated across from yours, but he wasn’t at his desk at the moment. At least that saved you a headache.

Your phone rings and you answer it instantly, cutting off whatever he was saying. You give him a pretend fake smile, one to which he luckily accepts sitting back at his desk. Its quick as the secretary is hanging up on you before you can tell her that you’ll be there in a moment. Gathering your things, taking an extra pen just in case, you head towards the elevators.

Knocking on the door twice you let yourself in quietly behind you. Your boss was a passive man, preferring those to act than be told what to do. Turning around taking in the office before pausing noticing the back of someone’s head already sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. The chair meant to occupy your boss was empty.

Remembering where you are you and ignoring him as you stride until you plop yourself into the empty seat. You refuse to look at him, instead sorting out your tablet to take notes on. You just had to wait until your boss came in the room—you could be patient. You had a vague idea of what he may want to talk to you about, but with Jin here you were at a lost. What was he doing here anyways? Had the secretary gotten his appointments mixed up? It’s been two weeks since the event. You had spoken to him since, but it had been the usual bickering. Something had changed though, it was something atmospheric between the two of you, but you couldn’t place an instance on the beginning of the feeling. Oddly, you found yourself searching for him whenever you came to the office, which had brought its own set of turmoil that you’ve yet to unravel. Now that you were sitting next to him, somehow you felt the sense of pettiness overcome you again.

Finally looking at him you notice how great he looked today. He wore common slacks and a button up, but he made the ensemble look great.

Jin asked, “What are you here for?”

Crossing your legs over you flip open your notebook. “None of your business Kim.” You hate that you had done such a good job hiding the layers of hatred and anger, but you could even recognize the coldness in your tone.

He rolled his eyes, “Typical.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Clue me in Seokjin.”

He shrugged, clearly wanting you to put the pieces together. Rubbing at your scalp muttering under your breath. “It’s too early for this,” checking your watch, “it’s only eight-thirty in the morning, I haven’t had my coffee yet, and I have to deal with guy.”

“That explains your snappiness. You do seem constipated.”

You audibly gasp, a retort on the tip of your tongue when the door burst open to reveal your boss. A grin already on Jin’s face knowing he got the last word in before he neutralizes it. Paying you both no mind he continued grumbling into his phone that’s tucked between his neck and ear as his other hand holds a cup of coffee and a stack of paperwork in the other. Min Yoongi, your boss, was a man of few words elusive at times, but his tongue was sharper than any knife. His mind was brilliant too, a legend amongst law students. you had heard stories of his infamous mock trials when he was in school and how he had won trails out like a daredevil. He was intimidating to say the least.

Jin’s gaze was still on you before he turned to your boss who plopped into his chair. He seems frazzled, tie a bit disheveled and dress shirt not as freshly pressed as it should be. The fact that you looked kept together in front of him was kind of embarrassing. It was common sense that interns should look that way. Did his appearance have something to do with the 29th? Shit, you really needed to figure out what event was happening that day.

He flung a thick packet in a folder over to you and Jin. You flipped open the folder and read the first page. Peaking over from yours to Seokjin’s you see he was given the exact same paper.

“I’m assigning this case to the both of you.”

“Mr. Min, I don’t mean to impose on your judgement, but I can handle this on my own.” You squinted as you read it over. It seems like a generic divorce case based on the short preliminary interview.

“Can you?” Jin quirked a brow at you. You already have insults on the tip of your tounge but he continued. “Look, I’m just saying because remember that one time—.”

You bark out his name before he can continue, already knowing what story he was going to reference.

“Mr. Kim, Ms. Y/L/N.” You both instantly shut up. “If you both are treating this opportunity simply as some game between the both of you then I’m sorry to inform you that you may not be needed anymore. This is court of law. So tell me—do I need to provide this opportunity to someone else?”

At the same time you both respond. “No, Sir.”

The way he was glaring at the both of you had your toes curling in your shoes.

“Look, Ms. Y/L/N, I’ll admit you are smart, just as much as I think Mr. Kim is capable of handling his own cases. I need the both of you on it because this isn’t an ordinary case. It won’t only go to trial in court, but Kinds court too.”

The only thing you hadn’t expected to come to find out was he was also a kind. Kind being something they used in the human world to refer to their supernatural counterpart for political correctness. One afternoon not long into your internship, but months ago, you had called Jin wolf boy in the breakroom, not knowing your boss was walking in. Anyone else would think it was a passing comment, but the narrowed look that he gave you had you crystalizing. It had become second nature to you identifying when someone was otherly. Yoongi only commented as he walked out to make sure that you both keep it that only you knew.

Jin stiffened next to you, his gaze snapping up to look at Yoongi. An exchange of glances went between them that you couldn’t quite decipher.

“Seeing as you already know about our kind Ms. Y/L/N, I would like that you both work on this together. Prepare it for the courts and depending on how it goes there the Kind’s will deal with it following. Frankly, we need you on this case to keep things right on the human end. And Seokjin we need you because you have the knowledge that comes with it. I expect the both of you can approach this and prepare a case that is thorough. We cannot risk the underlying truth getting out to the public. Dress it up how you have to, leave the kind out of it until human laws can punish as needed.” He centers you both with a stare that’s unwavering, even you feel the expressive. “Do I make myself clear.”

“Yes.” Simultaneously you both respond.

Yoongi finally sits back taking a sip from his coffee that was still just a little too hot. “Everything you need is in the folder. Now get out.”

Beginning to gather you stuff, relaxing your jaw just a bit, “Thank you Sir.” You stride out of the room without looking back.

You leave not bothering to hold it for him. He was right behind you, closing the door so it wouldn’t slam shut. He watched as you strut down the hall. He huffed realizing you weren’t going to wait to talk about the case. Calling your name does no good as you still keep towards the elevators.

When the door closes, you take a moment. Truth be told, the gravity of it is not lost on you. This was going to force you and him to be close again. Backing down would prove you and the grin that would be on Seokjin’s face knowing you gave up would be enough to keep you up at night for the rest of your life. You swear you could handle it. It is just Seokjin. Your career depends on this and doing well.

But why was your heart beating so fast?

Sitting in an empty conference room, you were going over the material again. It seemed like a regular case of infidelity and the wife was filing for divorce. After Min’s pressing of the importance of this case it felt like he was mocking you. This was a case that felt “practical”. In school you had gone over these types of cases a thousand times—introduction on legal fairness and getting the most for your client. Just because it involved the kind doesn’t mean the law will treat it any different.

At least that’s what it all seemed to be.

Standing up from your seat when you heard the door handle clicking open you put on a an air of professionalism. A short woman, who nearly curled in on herself shuffled into the room. Her blue cardigan nearly engulfed her being, but her maxi dress underneath disguised most of her petite figure anyways. A male followed behind her with a hand on her back. That had you breaking your professionalism for a split second as you lifted your brow. The way he held her was anything but platonic. You wondered shortly if that was the man in the ex-husband in question.

Extending your hand out to her in greeting. “Hello, Ms. West, I’m Y/N. Pleasure to meet you.”

In the softest voice she greeted you back. You turn to greet the male he introduced himself as Damien Caldwell. With your hand still out towards him, he refused to shake your hand. Mentioning something along the lines of scent tainting. Pretending you understood you signaled them to take a seat.

You all take a seat with Jin next to you and them across.

Carefully observing her you monitor that she was fidgeting a lot, clearly nervous.

Jin glanced at you and his expression was conveying, “Stop it, you’re making her nervous.”

You forced a smile in his direction, reading into his silent message. “Fine.”

Jin adjust himself, pen in hand gesturing towards them. “Mrs. Gloria West , can you please restate your case?” Although you both had the intake form in front of you, you needed her to state clearly what she was here for.

She begins fidgeting, biting her lip tears welding up in her eyes. Damien gently began rubbing her back. “You can do this. This is your story to tell.”

She nods, sniffling, finally looking up and you finally get a glimpse of her face. Her delicate features look worn out, dark circles under her eyes.

Your features soften, and you give her a genuinely soft smile. Handing her a tissue she thanked you softly. Dabbing the corners of her eyes she began, “My,” she licked her lips as if uttering the words brought bitterness to her, “husband has been cheating on me. I found out he has another family.” She reached into her purse pulling out a card that says Happy Father’s Day. “I found it in his underwear drawer when I was putting his clothes away last week.”

Jin followed up. “You’ve previously stated that your husband has claimed you, is this correct?”

“Yes.” She pushed aside the collar of her cardigan exposing the flaring bite marks where fangs met skin.

Pen pausing on paper you forced your jaw to stay closed. You hadn’t really prepared yourself for what claiming really meant. The primal signature was jarring. The two puncture wounds looked poorly scared, the tissue surrounding it somehow still rejecting the mark.

She covered it up again. “I was young and naïve when we first met, just out of high school and didn’t have much experience. He was five years my senior. I didn’t understand what it all meant at the time. I thought the butterflies I got seeing him meant he was my mate. I was hopelessly in love.” Tears brimmed in her eyes again, but she sniffled preventing them from falling. “He told me I was his mate. I believed him. I let him mark me.” She spoke the words as if they burned her. “We got married three years ago, right after he marked me.”

You were disgusted, stomach unsettled, forced marriage seemed so archaic. Your fist curled under the table. You didn’t understand the depth of what happened in the kind context, but it still irked you. You didn’t let it show on your face though.

Damien was getting restless, clearly irate.

Jin visibly tensed. You see his jaw clench. You fill in for him. “Daniel West, your husband, how did you know he wasn’t your mate?” The word sounded unfamiliar in your mouth. You had heard it spun around before, but never truly knew the meaning. Although you could conclude that it seemed to imply partner.

She looked to Damien and her face seemed to lighten up, dark circles diminishing, as she looked at him. He had the same look at her. Clearly you could tell they were in love. “I found Damien. I knew it was the real thing because it hurt being apart. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Just a touch and it felt electric. I can’t explain it, but I just…knew. I just knew he was it.”

“Is there any other signs of another partner or family?”

“He smells like her.” She swallowed harshly. “He smells like other women too, but her the most.”

“Is there any other factors that are telling? Like photo evidence?”

“No.” You tilted your head considering it over. You couldn’t use smell in court to prove infidelity. You breathed in harshly, slouching forward. How were you supposed to find evidence?

Jin hasn’t spoken the entire time, lost in thought and focusing on the incoming information. “Are there any children?”

She nodded.

“How many? Please identify them.” She goes on to list two children, one three years old and a newborn.

Jin stared at the Damien for a moment. “I know this is a sensitive question, however, I must ask this. Did you mark him?”

It seems Jin had already predicted Damien’s response as the sound of paper crumpling in Damien’s fist was loud. His fist shook form the strength of his anger. Gloria reached over grabbing onto his leg, and his grip loosened up slightly.

She apologized to him. His fist completely unclenched as both of his hands cupped her face. “No, no, no, honey. Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. You know that right.”

She closed her eyes, calming and basking in the affection. “I know.”

You blushed yourself, feeling as if you had intruded in an intimate moment. You can’t help but follow your instincts telling you to look at Jin. You feel like you see Seokjin for who he is, not how you’ve constructed him. At the same time you find yourself suddenly reminded—he was different. Stern and cold, eyes empty of all the things that used to make him goofy. It was as if you had lost the dictionary. Unable to translate a language that was once native to you. His quirky awkward fillers and jokes have matured into standards. He holds punctuation in his tone, powerful. Calculating in a way you didn't know he could be. Your eyes follow the curve of his plump lips, the curve of his nose and then the entire profile. It feels intimate.

You pause and wonder if Seokjin has a mate. Did he look at them like that too?

You pause diffusing those thoughts, you shouldn’t be thinking of him that way. Focusing back on the case at hand you know mating is something that cant be proven scientifically. It’s a feeling.

She blushed, taking both of her mates hands into hers and placing them on her lap. With more confidence she turned back to you both. “No. I didn’t know then that it had to be both. Daniel told me that marking me would be enough for the both of us. I didn’t realize it until later. When I brought it up he told me I was wrong, that I didn’t know any better. That people were just trying to put ideas into my head and he knew best. I believed him, until I felt the real feeling.”

“You will have a trail before the elders after this, are you aware of that?” Jin says.

“Yes.”

With a thoughtful pause, Jin smiled reaching out to shake their hands. “That concludes questions for today. Thank you both for your time.”

Reaching out to Gloria, you shake her hand, “You’re very brave for this. We’ll do whatever we can to help.”

She smiled, patting your hand. “Thank you.”

You help escort them to the door and they assure you they know the way out. Shutting the door with a click you find Seokjin hunching over his notes. All sense of comfort he offered earlier and professionalism drained form him.

Eyeing him curiously, you asked, “What’s wrong?”

“This…this…this is worst case scenario.” He says.

“Can’t she just get rid of the mark? Things like this are reversable right? She found her mate,” you say the last word with uncertainty as its unfamiliar on your tongue. Logical solutions are the only way you can navigate.

“No, Y/n. it doesn’t work like that.” Voice accusatory.

You shrink, feeling as he had called you stupid indirectly. His fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting over the papers, unable to look at you. “The mark is permanent and can’t be undone. She’s bound to him, but he wasn’t.” He raises his voice towards the end.

“Why are you getting angry?”

When he looked up at you his eyes are red. “You don’t get it.”

You falter. His words hit hard and ring like a ghost putting you back into your old room. Those words engraved like a scar on your heart. Pulling back the scar you are put back in time.

Pacing more folded clothes in the cardboard boxes you glance out your window. It was a full moon.

You couldn’t sleep so you began packing, you were due to move out the following day.

Standing up, you went to the window, staring at the moon. Your eye follows the bush and thick trees that line the property. The night seemed to be so quiet and clear. You felt suffocated in your room, your thoughts making you claustrophobic. You pushed open the window, carefully to make the least noise as possible. Going back to your boxes you fished out a jacket and put on shoes. You slipped through and hit the grass with a thud. Closing your window behind you, you turn back towards the beginning of the forest.

Suddenly a wave of sadness fills you as you remember how Jin used to always come through the same bushes to see you. Clenching your fist and tucking your jacket tighter over you, you force the thoughts of Jin out of your head.

You push pass the bushes, the light of the moon enough to light your way. You follow a faint overgrown carved out path. In all truth you had only ventured out a few times into the forest each time with him. Jin had always warned you that it wasn’t safe, but he wasn’t here to tell you otherwise. You could make your own choices. Remembering that there was a small ravine nearby you began heading towards it knowing it was somewhere nearby. The sounds of crickets was the only thing you heard besides the crunching of your shoes on mulch.

The air grew noticeably heavier with a mist and you could hear the soft sound of water running. Heading down a slope you end up at the shore of a riverbed. The water was running gently over the darkened stones underneath, just a bit further down the river picked up, frothing as it hit protruding stones. You dip your hand into the spring water, the cold causing you to shiver.

For a moment you can imagine that it’s just you in the world.

Tomorrow this would be all but a dream.

From across the bed, along the other shoreline, twigs crunch. Ripping your hand form the water you freeze in place. Scanning the shoreline, you couldn’t see anything. Your mind pictured a thousand things it could be. Even in the dark you could make out red eyes looking at you. The being shifted to an opening on the shoreline before taking on the large silhouette of wolf. Its fur was black, dark as the sky.

You stayed put, afraid to rile it up by running despite all instincts saying to do so. It stepped closer, entering the water and trudged closer to you. You weren’t ready to die. It held your gaze the entire time. As it grew closer the wolf was larger than what you’d expect to be average, it was more comparable to a grizzly bear.

It kept coming closer and your heart even louder in your ears. You lost your balance falling on your ass with a shriek. You weren’t quick enough to recover as it was hovering over you. You could feel its hot breath fanning over you with its heavy breaths. It growled and your muscles tensed in fear. It just hovered over you, you wondered if it was waiting for you to make a move.

Willing your eyes to open, all at once you felt like you had recognized the beast. “J-Jin?”

Sensing your fear, it then whined. Then he is shifting, limbs elongating and spine curving as he growled through the process. You can’t bear to look at him as you hear the sound of bone cracking and popping. The sound having goosebumps pill your flesh.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice was deep and cold, lacking its usual warmth. When you turn to look at him you no longer see a massive wolf but Jin. His eyes were still red and you stare, trapped within the color. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen it. The tattered clothing that had stuck to his previous form manifested in torn pants, but he was shirtless.

Wrinkling your nose. Just when you thought you could get away from him, he manifest. “I can be here if I want. Who are you to say I can’t?”

His wolf hadn’t settled, taking your challenge personal rather than rational. “Its too dangerous.”

“We haven’t spoken in so long and the first thing you do is yell at me.”

His expression softened, but he still appeared stern. “Go home.”

“Really Jin?”

“Go home!”

“Do you really not care about me? What you said to Jimin, is it really true?”

When he remained quiet, you found your answer. You bit your lip, forcing yourself to suffocate the tears.

“You don’t understand.” He heaved.

“Obviously, so why! Why won’t you talk to me!” Your nerves finally snap. Tears were prickling at your eyes regardless of how much you fought to keep them down.

“Can’t you give me some space! You just need to give me space sometimes.”

“No! This isn’t you, you’d tell me everything. There are no secrets between us. I want answers. Is it that easy to you to throw away everything we have?”

He growled and stepped up to you, inches away looking down at you. Your neck was kinked back staring back at him with equal challenge. His nostrils flare as he takes in your sense. His chest rumbled.

“I don’t want you to know! I don’t want you know about that part of me. So stay out of it! Leave it alone and me alone. I don’t need you.”

Feeling so small, it hadn’t occurred to you that he didn’t see you as important enough. You hated how much you had relied on him. You feel like a child whining to a parent. Maybe the girls were right. Jin would never look at you like that. You were an outsider to his real world anyways. “Fine. You know what, you’re right I don’t understand and never will. I see what I mean to you now.” Tears were rolling down your cheeks but you swiped them away as soon as they broke.

“Y/n.” The anger melted away from his being instantly, realizing what he said. He wants to take it all back, but he can’t find the right words. He stepped towards you and you took two steps back. You wanted to get away from him.

“You’ll never have to see me again.” You laughed, but it wasn’t in humor, instead full of bitterness.

“What?”

“I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean leaving?”

“What do you care Jin? Aren’t you getting what you want? You don’t need me. You’ll never have to worry about me getting in your business or caring about you again. I’m moving tomorrow.”

“Goodbye.” You turned away from him. His red eyes imprinting in your memory like a branding. You swore before you turned away you saw tears, but you refused to believe it.

He had made his bed, now he had to lay in it.

When you remained quiet, Jin began packing his stuff quietly realizing his outburst. You can only assume he remembered the same thing.

Sighing heavily he tries to dispel the anger, his eyes flashing back to normal. “We’ll discuss things later.”

You hate that it makes your heart sink. You don’t like that he’s pushing you away. He had done it before, but he wasn’t going to do it again. “Of course I don’t, so explain it to me now.”

He ignores you and makes towards the door. Before he makes it you grab onto his forearm. “Will you listen. Don’t walk away from me.”

His body stiffens instantly, although his chest was still heaving. When he turns to look at you, you let go of him like you had been burned. You crossing your arms over your chest protectively. Knowing he no longer plans to leave you follow up, “Look, I don’t know as much as I thought. Don’t punish me for it. I just want to solve this case as you do.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just…imagining someone claiming—.“

Your chest deflated too with his reaction it gave you an unspoken conclusion. He had a mate. You should’ve known better than to let your thoughts trail on earlier. Instead you focused on his apology. “We need to work together right? This is our last case here and we can get through this professionally.”

“Can we?”

You smirked, “I can behave if you can.” You straightened up, extending out your hand to him, “Let’s call a truce or something.”

He accepted it, but still held onto it which was something you didn’t expect. “Something?”

“I mean do you have a better status to call whatever this is?”

“Truce implies I hate you. I don’t hate you.”

The way Seokjin looked at you felt like he was truly looking at you. You almost felt paralyzed as you couldn’t look away. His words felt—genuine. But you refused to lean into that, you didn’t want to read into his words too much. You rolled your eyes, unconvinced pulling your hand out of his. “Okay, alright, I said behave”

“Really. I don’t.” Weakly he smiled.

“So truce or not?”

“Okay.” He answered.

“Okay.” You repeat back.

“Good.”

“Yeah.”

“Give me your phone.”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him. He saved his phone number, calling himself, before handing it back. “Don’t abuse it now.”

You scoffed, nearly choking on your own saliva. Unable to stop yourself from laughing in disbelief. “You wish.”

He genuinely laughed, the high pitch sound unique and squeaky. Turning to leave, he paused in the doorway looking over his shoulder. “Another thing.”

You hummed, looking at him expectantly. You saw the cheeky smirk before it bloomed. “Keep the messaging to during the daylight hours, alright.”

“Seokjin!”

He closed the door quickly behind him, evading your spitfire.

He isn’t sinking back into your life. You aren’t even friends. You both were going to go your separate ways after the internship, and you were never likely to run into him again.

You had nothing to lose.

Truce.

Shutting the door behind you a bit harder than necessary, you toe off your heels and hook your keys up.

Your roommate, Mia, was already sprawled out on the couch. Slumping right next to her and crowding her out. The sounds you emit sounded like a deflating air mattress as you groan.

“Yikes, that bad of a day?” Shuffling to adjust herself again on the couch.

Closing your eyes you nodded. She laughed, clearly not buying the way you played victim. “What did he do today?”

Mia had been a friend you made during college, and quickly became your closets friends. When you both graduated you found yourself needing someone to roommate with while job searching and grad school stuff. You had found out about her being a Kind early on in your sharing of home. She was more surprised to find out that you had already known about it. That’s when you told her about your childhood, leaving out names, all until recently where she was too smart and connected the dots. Wolves and their intuition.

“Okay, first off, not everything isn’t about him. And secondly, how dare you be right about it.”

She laughed, her laptop nearly falling off her lap. You loath her, her and her perceptiveness. She was smart, but sometimes too smart for your own good. “It just—he’s so irritating! I just said one wrong thing today and he exploded. Then we had a truce and get this, he said he didn’t hate me.” Confessing all on your own, you felt accosted just by her silence.

Her eyebrow quirked at that, followed by a cheshire grin. “You two getting along now then? Is that’s what’s upsetting you?”

“No. It’s just—he played the good guy and it made me feel stupid. I have been doing my best and then he comes along and makes me feel—ughh! It’s just this case is stressful. I feel way out of my depths.”” You have your hands in the air scratching at the air.

“Leave then.” She shrugged, stating the obvious solution. She already had let this type of complaining go in one ear and out the other. Since the beginning of your internship you had come home and vented about your day, mostly revolving around him as the topic of choice. How he irritated you that day, or simply breathed the wrong way. Even to yourself, the amount of time he has been able to rile you up lately has become annoying.

“I can’t just leave, you know how hard I worked for this. You know how important this place is. Besides, I need it to graduate.”

“Well then, why were you arguing anyways? What does this have to do with your case?”

“Everything to do with it.”

She nodded. Realizing it must not be within your realm she opens up, “Need insight?”

You shifted on the couch tucking your legs underneath you. “What’s marking or ‘laying claim’?”

She turned to you, “Are you serious?” For the first time in your friendship you saw her blush. She was always forthcoming with sexuality and whatnot, so this was out of character for her.

“Yes.”

“Did he ask you about it?”

You squinted at her, “No, why?”

She cleared her throat, waving her hand, “No, nothing.”

“Well its not PG-13.” She licked her lips.

“Well thank goodness I’m not a virgin maiden in waiting. What is it? You’re stalling.” Her reaction made you infinitely more curious.

“Okay, well honey, when two mates, who love eachother very much—.”

“Oh god, stop it, please be serious for once!”

She laughed. “Fine. It’s a sacred ritual that connects two mates together. Or in layman terms, two soulmates together via a bite mark. It acts like rings? But its more than that. Its hard to explain.”

“Soulmates?” You suffocated the scoff. Out of all things she said to be appalled at. “That doesn’t exist.”

She smiled at you. “They do! You humans just don’t believe it because you’ve corrupted the system.”

“So it can’t it just be anyone? You know, fall in love and just know that person is it, the one?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s this instinctual feeling. This soul connection. You’ll know it when you feel it kind of thing.”

“Ugh, that’s what she said too.” You rubbed at your temples. “I can’t use a feeling as evidence.”

You sighed, “I can’t tell you about the case, but hypothetically if this happened. Hypotheticals only.”

She suffocated a laugh, rolling her wrist in a circle, hand gesturing for you to continue.

“So hypothetically, the client was hypothetically marked by someone other than her mate. What does that mean—hypothetically?”

Her face sobered, “Are you serious?”

You nodded.

Fiddling with her fingernails, she looked genuinely troubled. “How can that even happen?” She mumbled to herself before she turned to you. “I don’t know of any worse punishment. The pain that comes with that either is unimaginable. It’s violation of not only culture, but its inhumane. The human equivalency of forced marriage, but even then that equivalency doesn’t compare how bad it is. Murder, maybe?”

“What would happen to the one who bit the other…hypothetically?”

“Normally, death. There would be a match between the actual mate and the one who bit until death, but times have changed. The punishment is still severe.”

You take pause realizing how serious it all was. You weren’t sold to the idea of love, or soulmates, but being forced in a marriage the idea made you sick. You finally could see why Seokjin was so upset earlier. Sighing heavily you let your head fall back on the couch onto the cushion stared at the ceiling. How could you find evidence against this guy then?

“We gotta make him pay.” Looking towards her. “Do you think a guy who has a separate family would leave a paper trail?”

“You just need to find his social accounts. Cheaters usually have multiple accounts under different pseudonyms. Their downfall though is that most guys are stupid enough to not undo the geo tag or take the photos all in the same place.”

“I’ve already looked into it. He only has one account. It’s pretty generic, nothing telling.”

“But have you?” She gave you this side eye. “He must have a fake account then. Probably all his closets friends follow it, so we just have to find a similar name that seems to be a generic account.” The whole time she had been speaking to you she had been doing the research.

“Done.”

Your jaw dropped. She did that so fast. Could you blame her though, as an IT specialist she knew the ins and outs of things like this.

“You evil genius!” She pulled it back to herself, you scooching to sit next to her so you can watch what she does. Scrolling through, she squinted. “Seems he recently was on this page.” She clicked on link bringing up a page to a club named Fluxx. Scrolling through you both catch a comment under an event from West. The DJ who was playing there apparently was his favorite, him and his boys were going to be there to see it that weekend.

She turned her laptop towards you. “You’d think he’s in college still.”

“What if…what if I go. I’m sure he isn’t going to just party with his friends. I’m sure he’s going to be there looking for his next victim.”

She shut her laptop, scowling at you. “No. Absolutely not.”

You pout, “Why not? You realize this give me the evidence I need to proof the case.”

“You don’t understand. It’s a club for others. Humans can’t get in here unless you’re someone’s play thing or—.”

“Or what?”

“With someone who is.”

You stare at her expectantly.

“No.”

“Come on!” You whine, tugging at her sleeve.

“No, this is dangerous!” She set her laptop on the coffee table, moving away from you so you couldn’t provoke her. Getting up form the couch she headed towards the kitchen. You sigh following after her. She reached into a cabinet for a mug.

“Don’t treat me like a child.”

She slammed down her mug, and you jumped. You had never seen her upset. She turned to you with a look of disbelief. “Child? This isn’t a game, y/n. You apparently don’t what kind of shit you’re getting into. My kind have to live in the shadows, and do you know what happens in the shadow.” Her comment was rhetoric.

You kept your mouth shut.

“Humans are no longer the superior race in there. Not all kinds are what you think. You’d get eaten alive the moment you let your guard down.”

“I didn’t go through all this trouble to find a good lead to get scared away by the what ifs. Besides, you’ll be there with me, right?”

“They’re not what ifs, y/n.”

“Yes, they are. You went there before and are standing here today.”

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“I’m not. I understand okay! I know you don’t think I do, but I do. I’ve heard it before and I don’t need to hear it from you!”

She turned to look at you with a pointed glare. You stood your ground.

She huffed preparing herself a drink. You stared at her back. For a moment you held doubt. What if she was right. What if you were getting yourself in something bigger than you anticipated. Picturing back to earlier in the day to Gloria and the amount of fear she had regarding her husband had your stomach sinking. The look that Seokjin had, the anger in him, and now hearing of the significance. The sense of justice found itself rooting in you even thicker.

“Alright.”

Pushing off the counter you were leaning on, Mia dropped the spoon she was using to swirl her drink in the sink noisily.

“You’re planning on going anyways aren’t you.”

Painting her with a look of exhaustion and resolve. “I am.”

“How?” she tossed her hands up in the air.

“I don’t know, I always figure things out somehow.”

She picked up her mug pushing past you then picking up her laptop going into her room. She slammed the door.

You slumped back onto the couch. Biting on your thumb. How were you supposed to get in now?

She came storming out of her room thirty minutes later. Rubbing her temples with a look of distress.

“Can’t you just hire a PI or something?”

“No, you yourself said being a kind is a secret. I can’t hire someone to watch him.”

She bit her lip, “Do you have to be this stubborn?”

You chuckled. “Yes. A woman’s life is going to be decided if or not I can prove her husband is a dick. Even if that means putting myself out there to prove it. I really want justice for her.”

“God, I really hate you sometimes.”

You smirked sitting up. “Does that mean you’ll get me in.”

“I swear to God if you get hurt—.”

“We won’t, I won’t.” You rushed towards her wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you, this means a lot. You know I wouldn’t ask something form you if I didn’t mean it right.”

She sighed. “Yes.”

“You owe me big time!”

“Whatever you want darling, the world is ours!”

Finding yourself back at the office after finishing all your classes in the morning. You were exhausted. The week, on top of the internship, had been exam heavy. You found it difficult to raise your head from your desk. Luckily for you, the office was nearly empty including of the other three. All others were at their campus or otherwise. You purposefully came on this day to get your work done.

Your phone pinged, notifying you got a text. With your hand you blindly searched for your phone dragging it so you could look at it form your lap with your head still on the table.

You sat up when you noticed who had texted you. You blink at the ID a few times.

Partner in Crime [2:07 p.m.]: We should meet up to work on the case.

You knew enough to deduce it was Seokjin.

You [2:09p.m.]: Who’s this?

Partner in Crime [2:10p.m.]: Are you serious?

You [2:10p.m.]: I’m at the office now.

Pain in the ass [2: 12pm]: Can you meet me at my school’s library in thirty? The office is nearby. I’ll buy you a coffee.

Location sent.

You contemplate. You just wanted to go home. Deal with the case more after this weekend after going to the club. You want to present all your finding and seal the deal all in one session. However, the thought of coffee was convincing enough to have you texting back.

You [2:20pm]: Okay. Be there soon.

Pain in the ass [2:21pm]: I’ll meet you outside.

You found yourself standing outside of the library half an hour later, staring up at the towering building. This was their library? This looked more like a historical site. Well it explained why the tuition here was so expensive. He went to the ivy school, one of the best, if not the best, law programs in the nation. You eyed things with envy. You had applied for this school too, it was a dream of course. But you suppose going to state university granted you only so much prestige.

“The clouds telling you something?” You jump when Jin comes up next to you.

You glare at him. He’s laughed. “Sorry, you looked so lost in your thoughts. Didn’t actually think I’d scare you. Here.” He handed you the other coffee in his hand.

You accepted it gladly, fingers feeling frozen, but pause. “You didn’t poison this right?”

“No, that’d be too easy.”

You nearly snort into your cup. “Spoken like a true soon to be lawyer.”

You miss the endearing stare he gives you as you begin walking up the stairs. He quickly catches up with you putting a hand on the small of your back when a large group of students come your way. He guides you up the stairs keeping you close with the abundant of students pouring in and out. You suppressed the squeak you wanted to let out. His hand was large and warm, the touch radiating through your coat. Your mind tells you you should move away, but you don’t. He leads you to the lower floor where to your surprise was just as magnificent as the base floor. The gothic architecture feels almost as if you’re entering a cathedral. The tables were dark oak wood and heavy looking ordered in long rows of five. Green banker lamps were in the center of each table basking the old scratched up wood in golden light.

Leading you to a table secondarily inward, he took a seat next to you.

Finding it odd, you debate on moving, but you neglect to comment on it. He settled into the seat looking none the more comfortable. Settling in you pulled out your laptop plugging it into an outlet underneath the table. You needed a second to re-center yourself. You didn’t like that you instead of revulsion like you expected to, you felt his presence give you a sense of security. It’s all dangerous, the feeling all too close to the ease you used to have with him.

“Have you come across any new leads?” Jin asked.

You quirked you head, having been so lost in your thoughts. “Huh?”

“New leads?”

“Oh, yeah.” You bring it up a on your laptop and show him. “I found his secret Bookface account. It’s even under a different name, Ethan Miller. He must have many identities and more accounts than this one.”

He brought his arm up resting it on the back of your chair, bringing the both of you closer. You flush thinking nothing of it as his thick thigh brushes yours as he leaned in.

“How’d you find it?” He clicks through the photo album. Pictures of ‘Daniel’ and children appear that look very much like him. Children who were not his with Gloria.

“I know people.”

He looked mildly impressed. “I see, if you tell you’ll have to kill me kind of scenario.”

Shrugging with a bit of pride you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned on the desk. Lamely you shot a single finger gun at him. Realizing how lame it was you quickly tucked your finger back into your fist and crossing your arms. When did you do lame things like that ever? He laughed, and you tried to ignore the embarrassment.

“Anything else?” He was so close to you when he looked up. You couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker down to his lip for a second as he mouthed the words. You quickly brought them back up to his eyes, the dark chocolate color another vortex. Heat rises to your cheeks and he could probably hear your heart picking up in pace. It didn’t help that from how close he was you could smell the cologne he wore, which made you want to lean in and press your face to smell it from his skin. Heat flushes even hotter through you, how brazen of your thoughts were getting.

Remembering he asked you something you answer more breathier than you would like. “No.”

When he straightens up, you were glad he didn’t comment on it. You contemplated telling Jin where you were going, but you keep your mouth shut. You could handle it on your own, all you needed to do was bring the evidence.

You cross your legs attempting to move away from him.

He nodded, taking screenshots before moving on. He finds the photos of his other family just like you did, and the other woman too. He carefully zoomed in squinting at the image of the woman.

“She’s wearing a scarf and in a majority of them.”

“Didn’t take you to be in the fashion police.” That has him snorting a laugh before he goes back to the page. He looked around, finding no one in any of the other rows, you both completely had the basement floor to yourselves. “He must’ve marked her, or newly marked her when they took these photos. She’s trying to cover up the bruising.”

“Is that so abnormal?”

“Well, not necessarily. We just heal rapidly, cuts heal within hours. Marks do take a bit to heal, but it usually heals within a day if cared for properly. But just the way she hiding it and the bruising, It means she’s human. Kinds know marks aren’t meant to be covered up. They’re something sacred and to be worn proudly.”

“So…?”

With his head propped onto his hand he turned to you, eyes boring into you. That feeling arises in your stomach again. The way he was looking at you felt deeper than just a simple glance. You think back to when he said he didn’t hate you. The words still feel impossible.

“Human mates are rare.” Without letting you question it he says, “Bruising could mean it never healed because her body is rejecting him.”

“Wouldn’t he be feeling some repercussions too? It’s a two-way thing right?”

“Yes, but it seems that he’s not being affected. Gloria would have mentioned illness or signs of hyper aggression.” He scrolls over the images. “You’d expect this kind of behavior from—.” Again he pauses, lost in though.

“From what?”

“A rogue.”

You squint. “English, please.”

He smiles at you. “An exiled wolf. When we don’t have a pack for too long our sense of direction becomes distorted. Signs are aggression, loss of humanity and morality, eventually they lose their its ability to revert.”

“And you think he’s one?”

He leaned back in his seat. “It’s plausible.”

“Let’s go through his account and gather more evidence. I can began transcribing the interview. We can do case search too if we have time.”

He nodded his head. You send him the link to West’s account and begin sectioning out the work. Surprisingly, you had worked quietly next together, no bickering. It was—pleasant.

“How’s school going?” His husky voice breaks you out of your concentration. He was still looking at the laptop and writing down notes.

You hummed. “Getting by, you?”

“Same.” He hums back and the lull begins again. You bite at your lip, curiosity getting the better of you. “Why did you decide to go to law school? Weren’t you going to become a chef?”

He had always told you when he was younger, he wanted to become a chef. “Duty called.”

“Let me guess, pack stuff?”

He nods, not missing the way you said it. “I’m expected to become a council member when I graduate. I’m going to take my father’s position and practice in the kind’s court.”

You didn’t know much about his family, things were always surface when you were younger. Playtime and other things taking precedence. You had no idea his father was a lawyer. You had only spoken to his parents a handful of times. His mother was the one who spoke to you mostly, his father was a stoic man.

“But, your dream?”

“I still cook, I just don’t do it professionally.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, I’m happy.”

You thoughtful consider his words. It pains you a little to know he gave up his dream.

“How are they, your pack?”

A fatherlike smile comes on his face. “They’re all well, Namjoon is to be the next pack leader. The others are all doing their own thing, but they’re doing great.”

You smile, the fond memories of the boys resurfacing. “I miss them.”

“Why’d you leave then?”

There it is. The conversation the both of you had been avoiding this whole time. You had asked him something so personal and now he was returning it. The implication of the question wasn’t only why you left town, but him. You knew that, both physically and emotionally. You don’t know if you could offer him that though.

Abruptly your smile leaves you. “My dad got a job here in the city. I had no choice.” Your tone was frigid despite how much you wanted it to sound neutral.

“That’s the only reason?” He didn’t buy it. Based on his tone he sounded hurt. Knowing there was another reason. You hated that he could still read you.

You shrug, maintaining your stance. “Yes.”

“Bullshit.” His voice comes out clipped and sharp.

“What other reason would I have Seokjin?” Willing your voice to stay leveled, you begin using a voice you only use in professional settings.

“You left me.” He spoke the pain that he had held within. When you look over to him his eyes are red.

Leaning back in your chair, you crossed your arms over your chest. You wanted to remain unaffected, but you wanted to reach out to him. You felt the urge to touch him, but your anger kept you steady. “I didn’t leave you, you weren’t there. How can you say I left when you weren’t there.”

“You know that’s not true.” He accused, gaze darkening.

“It’s true.”

“I tried, but you wouldn’t answer.”

“That’s bullshit Jin and you know it. For months you ignored me.” Using his words back at him you choked on your words towards the end. You want to say, ‘you didn’t need me’, but the word hung heavy on your tongue, too hurtful even to yourself. You know that you didn’t try to reach out because after what those supposed friends said, it was made true when he just suddenly left. The prioritizing of his pack over you. All your feelings for him were crushed. Heartbreak was easier to deal with when you didn’t have to see their face.

He growls out, “I had things in the pack to handle.”

“Good excuse.” You knew he avoided you for other reasons, it was beginning to urk you that he wasn’t voicing it.

“I couldn’t help it. I was being initiated and had my first complete shift. It was a lot.”

“It’s different and you know it. I—forget it.” You wanted to say so much more, confess how you used to love him. Those feelings feel trivial now, even if they still exist in the present. The realization of the words, even though spoken in your mind had you reliving the pain all over again.

He falters and you almost feel guilty. A darkness spreads over the atmosphere. You spend a moment staring at one another. There is a tension between you two. Yet you can’t deny it’s like magnets. You feel drawn to him despite it all. Always have been. The knowledge of that has you shattering inside.

You stand up. “I’m going to look for a case study.” The wooden chair screeches against the floor. You needed to get away, to cool down. The sound of your shoes echo with the emptiness of the library.

Slinking between the bookcases you keep walking until you are deep within, feeling far enough where you can breathe again. Leaning against a bookshelf you sigh heavily. How come he had this much effect over you still?

Suddenly you feel heat overcome you as Jin suddenly towers over you. Softly his chest rumbles in hushed growls as he caging you in.

“Seokjin, leave me alone.”

When he doesn’t move you attempt to escape, placing your hands on his firm chest and pushing him. Unsurprisingly he doesn’t budge, but he shifts to keep you within his outstretched arms on the bookshelf. His gaze is intense, the red seeming to glow. “No, why do you run away when the conversation gets difficult?”

Humiliation clouds you. “Don’t patronize me.”

“Seokjin I’ve never run, it was you. I stopped chasing when I realized you had other priorities then and I wasn’t one of them. You said so yourself. Simple as that.”

You see him register the memory. His expression turns bitter. “That’s not true.” Gaze narrowed, his hands turn white as he clutches the shelf behind you. “I didn’t ignore you on purpose. Things were complicated and there was a lot I didn’t understand yet.”

“Good excuse.”

“It isn’t!”

“So what?”

“I realized something that—.”

“You didn’t need me.” The words come out of your mouth quietly finishing the sentence for him.

“No!” he growled.

“Keep telling yourself that.” You bit back the feeling of tears. “What do you gain Seokjin from this, huh? Reliving the past? It’s not then anymore. The us, whatever it was, is not now. And nothing will change that.”

The bookshelf creaked under his grip. “Don’t. Don’t say things like that.”

“What? That I’m no longer that young naïve girl? The one that used to follow you around? The one that used to think you were—.” The word mine dies on your tongue. “I don’t need you anymore and haven’t for a while, face it.”

“Please don’t cry.” He looked at you sadly.

You hadn’t realized you were crying. Attempting to wipe your tears, Jin hand took yours holding it while he caressed your face with the other wiping it away for you.

“Please don’t. I can’t handle it.”

He lowers his head and kissed you. The first press of his lips was gentle but deep. A small whimper escapes you; he rumbles in response pressing you closer to the bookcase. His hand dictates yours onto his shoulders while it wrapped around your waist pulling you close to him. It was making you dizzy with how good it felt.

He pulled away warm breathes of quiet between you two. You slowly open your eyes meeting his fiery ones. The warmness and adoration of it catching you off guard. The boyish loopy smile that followed had your heart melting. He lowered his head, resting his forehead against yours. His lips press against yours again unyielding. You had imagined this before, but this felt better. He kisses your jaw down to your neck. You shiver. The implication of it is not lost on you. He trailed back up finding your lips again in a harsh mesh. With a sigh he pried your mouth open. He moans your name.

Bringing you back to reality. “I—We can’t.”

This wasn’t right on many levels, but most importantly, didn’t he have a mate? Why was he kissing you? You had messed up, messed up big time. How had you caved so easily when he kissed you. You hate that you liked it so much too. You realize from the moment you both met again that the feeling you worked so hard to suppress came back strong. This was a mistake from the beginning. He still makes your heartbeat like it used to.

Seokjin’s arms were still extended towards you. “Why not?”

“I can’t—we can’t.”

You do what you do best. You run. Your heart breaks again for the second time.

Standing outside in line in the dead of fall would have to be the last place you wished to find yourself. The bombing bass thumped through the walls and neon lights outlined the vicinity. Other patrons in line to the club seemed at ease with the near freezing temperature. You suppose its a caveat of being human that your body didn’t run naturally warm. You had been to clubs throughout your college days, but they were far in between. Except this wasn’t any regular club, Fluxx was meant for the underworld. Those of the other kind.

Crossing your arms over your chest you attempt to conserve as much heat as possible. The fire within only kindled by the fact that you are only doing this for the case. The dress you had borrowed form Mia after she had deemed your choice to tame barely covered anything. It was too tight and you were sure that everything underneath was outlined.

Your phone vibrates in your clutch. You step away from Mia, although she was distracted chatting up some guy in the line. You answer it without looking at the ID.

“Hello?” Plugging your other ear with your finger.

“There’s something you need to know.” Jin’s voice comes through. You startle looking at the phone to check if it really was him. After what happened yesterday you hadn’t expected to never speak to him so soon.

Putting it back to your ear. “Can it wait?” You hiss.

“No.”

“What is it?”

“I talked to Yoongi about him being a rogue. It all checks out. I don’t know how much longer before he turns.”

You bite your lip, heart pausing in your chest. You stare at the club for a moment contemplating what you are about to do. You knew what you were doing was dangerous, entering territory still uncharted to you. However, this was the best way to get more proof.

“Y/n? Y/n did you hear me?”

His voice comes back into your ear, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Are you out right now?”

Form the corner of your eye you notice a bouncer going down the line, eyeing those standing in line. Mia grabs your elbow pulling you back to her. You hadn’t told her what happened yesterday. Unable to articulate it either. She mouthed to you, “Everything alright?”

“Where are you?” Jin asked.

You nodded to her.

“I gotta go.”

“Y/n, wait—.” You hung up on him tucking your phone back in your purse.

The bouncer scanned you over before looking to Mia. The smile that bloomed on his face was a bit salacious. “Go on in ladies.” Mia grabbed your arm pulling you to bypass the line. Going through the entrance, the dark narrow hallway, you focus on your footing as it was hard to see. The deep house thumping grew louder until it opened to a large room. Strobing lights were made opaque by the hazy air, thick with the smell of alcohol and sweat. Bodies were moving to the music as Mia pulled you towards the bar. You were nearly knocked twice by people too drunk to notice or have body awareness.

Mia had already given you the rundown of what to expect. She had spent at least two hours lecturing you on what goes on. These clubs were not just host to one kind, but all. The fact that you were human would send off a few sense and mixing alcohol in the situation it makes things a bit more dangerous. It had already been decided early on that you both would split up.

Mia leaned in at the bar catching the bartender’s attention and ordered for the both of you. Without turning back.

“Spot him yet?”

Scanning the crowd, you look over the bodies, none of them striking familiarity. It isn’t until you scan the private section where the tables are do you find him.

Mia receives the drinks, handing you the soda. Stealthily she looked over spotting the area of where you were looking.

“I’m not getting good vibes Y/n.”

You nearly snorted into your drink. “It’s a club of course you don’t. This place is grimy and full of fuck boy energy.”

Her lips lift in a smile, but it doesn’t stay. “I’m serious.” Biting her lower lip in uncertainty, leaning in she spoke into your ear, “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah.” An important detail you left out was telling her that he was a rogue. You knew that just like Jin she would talk you out of it. To her he was just a douchebag and you were just an ordinary girl hitting on him.

“I’ll come find you. Don’t do anything stupid okay.”

You nodded. She disappeared into the crowd weaving into the swaying bodies dancing seamlessly, leaving you at the bar.

You spotted him leaning into a woman, holding her by the hips and grinding to the beat. She wasn’t any woman you had found on his social media before. You snuck photos pretending to take selfies then going through a few other apps. Seeing him move away from her at the change of the song you took your cue. Moving through the dance floor you approximated yourself. Your heart was beating in your fingertips, fist tightly clutching at your drink. Steps beside him you went into action. Stumbling slightly in front of him, you spilled your drink on his black slacks. He growled as soon as the cold liquid spilled all over him.

Trying to swipe off the drink, “What the fuck!”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You played up to the image of innocence and a naïve human.

He paused in his attempt at brushing off the liquid. “A human. What are you doing here sweetheart?” When his eyes meet yours, they don’t just look they linger. The girl he had been speaking to completely forgotten. His eyes flicker down from your face to your body, lingering in erogenous zones before meeting your eyes again. Pretending you didn’t notice, you suppress the urge to smile knowing he’s playing into it.

Now that you were closer you couldn’t deny that the guy was attractive. It made sense how he was able to play so many. His tousled hair was dark and silky. His eyes were piercing and intimidating.

Seokjin’s words ringing in your ear again. Don’t know how much longer we have until he turns. Why did you have to think of him now at all times.

Touching his leg over the stain you squeezed it suggestively still pretending innocence of attempting to clean it. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a clutz.”

“Hold on princess. Take me to dinner first.” He grabbed your hand, but kept it over his legs.

You couldn’t explain it, you felt his touch turning nausea within you.

“Can I pay you to get it cleaned?”

“This thing? I got twenty more, its fine.”

You leaned in, putting your hand on his chest. “Is there another way I can repay you?”

That had him quirking his brows before a twisted grin bloomed on his face. “Got any ideas babygirl?”

You leaned in, playing with a button on his button up. “I can think of a few wolf boy.”

He growled clearly taking on the challenge. “My names Daniel and don’t forget it baby girl.”

He leaned in to capture your lips but you turned to the side. You whispered into his ears, chuckling, “Don’t tease me baby. you’re going to bring the beast out in me.”

Pretending his words were stimulating, you giggled, tossing your head back. Biting your lip you gave him a doe eyed look, “Let’s take this somewhere else.” Blinking up at him, “Please.”

He took your hand leading you through the crowd. You didn’t have time to search for Mia in the crowd, but you had hoped she saw you. He moved towards the back towards an exit door. He pushed open the door you were pulled out into the back alley. As soon as the door closes the noise of the club softened, and Daniel’s labored breathing is the loudest sound. Fog had settled in over the city, and you could see a group of guys lingering just at the entrance, the ember of their cigarette light.

Stepping closer to you he caged you against the damp brick wall. His overwhelming smell of alcohol was suffocating as he leaned in with a smirk on his lips. He leaned in close enough that his breath fanned over the side of your face. Moaning and humming, “You smell like a bitch, hard to believe your just human baby girl.”

“I’ve always had a bit of wild in me.” You smirked.

Throwing his head back as he laughed, then lowering his head following with a groan. He bit the bait. He presses himself closer to you, enjoying the soft curves of yore body against his. Leaning in to speak with hot breath into your ear, “I can tame you. You’d like it if I’d put you in your place right.”

Goosebumps pimpled over your whole being, except it wasn’t because of him. Something changed in the air. Your heart began beating faster in your chest, like a radar beeping when a target was nearing. Breaking eye contact with Daniel you turned towards the alley where your instincts were indicating something was coming. In turn you exposed your neck to him. Daniel rumbled contently in appreciation at your action. He leaned in sniffing your skin, trailing his nose along the column. The action having your stomach twist in a sudden nausea.

The radar in your chest pinged its loudest as through the dense, grey fog you saw red eyes. A shadowed figured, large and imposing, began taking form of the owner of the red eyes. They were heading towards you at a face pace like when a predator locked in on its prey. A harrowing growl comes from the shadow sends a shiver down your spine. Daniel was so lost in your scent he didn’t realize the figure coming at breakneck speed.

When the figure was close enough you finally caught a glimpse of the shadow.

In a whisper, “Jin.”

Fire burned in his eyes, as he struck like a missile. It all happened in a blur of motion; Daniel was ripped from hovering over you. The vicious growls that came from both beings was terrifying. Jin’s anger had always been cold and blunt. You had only seen it once before, but even then, that time feels minute to what happened in front of you. You had never seen him fight before. Fist struck and the sound of bone cracking was like thunder. It was gruesome.

Daniel lost his balance, his eyes turning red as well. Their heavy breathing steamed around their mouth, their fangs elongated to their lower lip. Daniel twitched seemingly resisting shifting fully. However, Jin was the larger of the two, his body partially shifted. His muscles bulged against the fabric of his clothes. The buttons of his dress shirt barely maintained against this broad chest. His sleeves were rolled up, veins pulsing against his muscular forearms. He was out for blood.

“What the fuck man! Get your own bitch!” Daniel growled at Jin, still maintaining his goal of getting you. When Daniel’s eyes shifted over to you, Jin charged him as the scent of lust filled the air. He grabbed at Daniel’s throat, moving backwards until he slammed him to the wall. He held him growling out words you couldn’t make out until he felt Daniel fall unconscious. His heart was still beating. Released him and let him slump to the floor, hovering over him like a predator.

“Jin.” The quiet whisper of his nickname has him coming back down to earth. He whipped around finding you leaning against the wall, knees weak. Your eyes were wide taking in his face. His eyes the deepest red you’ve ever seen, fangs over his lips, and body near feral. However, as soon as he sees that you, it dropped from him and he looking more like a puppy. He hurried over to you. Instead of greeting he grabbed your chin and angled your head to the side to get a glance at your neck. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was still more wolf than man at the moment. He leaned forward and whined. Your heart stopped in your chest. His body was warm sending a shiver down your spine. His scent was comforting. You hate how good it feels, you hate that your body relaxed instantly when he came to save you. As if you already know everything was going to be alright. To trust and rely on him felt so foreign, but so familiar.

He pulled away but you were so close you could make out his eyelashes individually. He growled, “What were you doing!”

Suddenly what you had been trying to forget comes back full force. Why was he acting like he cared so much? You curled in on yourself, the pettiness returning. “I could’ve handled myself.”

“Oh really? You were just going to let him mark you?” He seethed with an anger like wildfire.

You tried to remain indifferent. “I don’t see what the problem is. It’s just a bite, it’ll heal. I’m not one of you.”

Ignoring him, you pulled your phone out from your pocket showing him that you had a recording going. “I got it.” You pressed pause and saved the file. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking, the adrenaline of it all still coursing through you.

His brows furrowed. “What?”

“I recorded everything. I even took pictures of him with other women. We can use this as evidence.”

“Y/n?” The moment shatters and you search for the familiar sound of your name.

You see your friend stumbling drunkenly through the door out into the empty alleyway.

“I’m here to save you!” For being a kind, her alcohol tolerance was low. She turned towards you, squinting her eyes. “Whoa, who’s the hot guy? Was I interrupting something.”

You pushed Jin away from you slipping past him to support her as her ankle kept rolling due to the uneven asphalt.

Jin didn’t bother smirking or returning the understanding. He was still beyond pissed.

She looked down to the passed out man, “Holy shit.” She looked to Seokjin, seeing the remnants of his partial shift as he hadn’t bothered to transition back. There was a silent understanding of one another between them as he could tell she was the same as him.

“You were supposed to keep watch, how could you get drunk?”

“I didn’t mean to, I was feeling really nervous about all this. I needed to calm my nerves, so I had a few drinks.”

“We’ll talk in the office.” You directed your words to Seokjin before you began walking away with Mia.

“No, I’m taking you home.”

Mia wiggled her eyebrows. “Can you stay forever?”

You shushed her, bewildered by her behavior. The intense glare he was giving you had you agreeing. “Fine.”

Walking towards his car in silence. She squinted, then her eyes then widened thinking she was whispering to you, “Oh my god is he the one you’ve been talking nonstop about.”

You hush her. “Shut up.”

Through the walk Jin had shifted himself back. A black Audi RS7 beeped as Jin unlocked his car. Mia whistled, “He’s rich.”

“Mia!” You whisper yelled at her. “Please, behave!”

She nodded holding her hands up in an apology. “I’ll behave. I’ll behave.”

You slip into the back with Mia. Her head falls on your shoulder. You gave him your address. He presses the car to start and pulls away. Not long your friend falls asleep, her head falling asleep on your shoulder. You caught him looking at you a few times through the rear-view mirror, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

Pulling in the parking lot of your complex, Jin got out first then opened the door for you. He helped you with Mia and supported her up.

Going to the first floor of your apartment complex you made sure Jin was following you with Mia. Shoving the key in your door you let him in, leading him through your apartment to her room. He laid her down onto her bed. You began helping take her shoes off, Jin leaving to go to the living room. Taking a moment to help her clean up and ready for bed. She smiled at you partially awake, partially asleep.

“What?” You smiled back.

Giggling, “He likes you too.”

You froze, staring at her incredulously before you played it off as she was too drunk to know what she was talking about. “You’re drunk go to sleep.”

She shook her head. She grabbed your hand staring you directly in the eyes. “No, I’m sure.”

“He already has a mate.”

Her eyebrows squinted. “No he doesn’t. He doesn’t smell like it.”

You refrained form rolling your eyes. “You wolves and your weird olfactory fixation.”

She sighed then let go, allowing her eyes to close as she fell asleep. You remained crouched by her bed, trying to decipher her words. Jin, didn’t have a mate? And liked you? She must mean that he tolerated you, civil at most. The kiss the other day meant nothing, you were sure of it. It was spur of the moment, high stress and you both didn’t know what you were doing.

She was drunk what did she know.

Standing up with a click to your knees you groaned, you were exhausted. The adrenaline finally wearing away of what happened earlier. Seeing Jin standing in your living room was awkward. He was looking at the photos on the wall. Specifically staring at a photo of when you were younger and Jin was also in it. You both looked so happy, with paint on both of your faces and white shirts.

You hesitate, weirdly feeling as if you were caught with something you should be. “Kinda hard not finding a picture of the old days without you in it.”

He looked at you, putting his hand down from touching the edge of the frame.

When he says nothing you clear your throat, “Thank you.”

He turned towards you, sticking his hands in his pockets, humming in acknowledgement.

“I’ll format all the recordings and photos for the—.”

He cut you off. “You looked happy here.” He pointed to the photo next to the one he was touching. It was of you and a few friends at the beach. It was taken the last year of college.

You smirked. “Hey, I know how to have fun. I’m not all business.”

He smirked, “Would’ve fooled me.” You knew he was poking fun. This time you enjoyed it. Turning to you. “You even turned our night off into a work night, at a club no less.”

You couldn’t argue there, in steading biting your bottom of your lip. He follow the motion before looking up. Clearing your throat you changed the subject. “He said that I was his mate.”

His whole body stiffened. “Impossible.” He crossed the room closer to you, just stopping a foot away.

You looked up at him, the sudden hostility throwing you off. He scanned you over once more. “Are you sure you’re alright? He didn’t touch you?”

“No.” You fought off the blush that threatened to rise to your cheeks. The attentiveness he was giving you was doing things to your heart that you promised yourself you wouldn’t let happen again. You flush suddenly remembering how soft his lips feel.

Nodding seemingly distracted with his thoughts. “I’ll look into that.” He began making his way towards the door and you followed. He stood outside your doorway.

He hesitated before nodding, as if he had contemplated something. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You returned the words in a soft whisper.

He began walking away towards his car.

“Jin.”

He turned around.

“How’d you know where to find me?”

He paused, his face clearly. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when a smile, an expression you haven’t seen on him. Jin looked like his old self. “I just went where the wild things are. I knew I’d find you there.”

You laughed, “I hate you.”

A smirk came back to his lips. “Don’t go soft on me now, Y/n.”

You watched him slip into his car before going inside. Alone with yourself you felt unsettled. Lately, it had been happening more. You chalked it up to being stressed, but stress was a constant in your life. This emotion was blaringly obvious to you, but you didn’t understand. Why did him leaving leave a hint of sadness.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, totally. I’ll catch up with you soon.”

Logan pulled a face saying he wasn’t convinced. The others had already gathered their stuff and were heading towards the elevators. Yoongi suddenly threw his arm around Logan’s shoulders. “Let’s go. I need a drink.”

You couldn’t help but smile biting back laughter. Yoongi was a man of few words, but he always knew when to insert himself.

You turn back to your desk when they’re out of sight. In all truth you didn’t want to go. You wanted peace, and despite wanting to follow the social cues it was the last thing you needed right now.

Accompanied by the lone light from your desk, the silence of the office greets you in full embrace. The electronic whorl of central air kicking on. You busy yourself with “last-minute” paperwork you had purposefully withheld on doing, knowing this celebrating was coming. The case had gone incredibly well, it was easy to prove the divorce with your added evidence. It was set to go to secondarily trial within the kind’s court. You just needed to give yourself enough time to know they were out of the building and you could go home.

“Y/n?”

You looked over your shoulder. Seokjin stood there, you could see wear of the day on him but it somehow painted him like oil paint. His hair was disheveled, and the top buttons of his white button up were undone.

“I forgot my wallet.”

You hum. It’s a bit awkward. Watching him round the desk to his in silence. Ever since you had turned in the case over to Yoongi, you had distanced yourself from him. There had been no incentive to not go because of him. It had been a looming idea over your head though that after this you weren’t going to be seeing him.

He held up his wallet, “Found it.”

“You found it.”

He swallowed tucking it in his pocket. He rounded the desk standing just near yours. His hand was clenched in a fist, words on the tip of his tounge.

“Well, it was great working with you Y/n.”

Standing up you extend out your hand. Staring at it for a moment his eyes soften taking yours in his.

“The truce was sufficient after all.” He joked.

“Don’t get too soft on me now.” You joked back.

He smiled. The handshake had long outlived itself, but you still held his and he held yours.

“Well, this is goodbye.” When you tried letting go his grip tightened. “Jin?”

“I can’t. I can’t keep pretending.”

“Pretending?”

“Pretending I’m okay with you walking out of my life again. Pretending that I’m not effected by you. I can’t. I can’t handle it for the second time.”

His logic was flawed. You didn’t allow your heart to pick up pace, fall into his words. “What do you mean? You said you didn’t need me.”

“I lied. I never meant what I said then. I never wanted to hurt you or push you away.”

Your eyes flicker about his face, looking for signs of deception but couldn’t find it. “Then, why did you?”

“I couldn’t control it, I couldn’t control my wolf. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Jin, you wouldn’t have hurt me.”

“No, I would have. I couldn’t control it back then, the urges were too intense. I’m weak when it comes to you.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do though. I was weak, and whenever you would come near me it became harder to control. The night I found you I couldn’t think straight. Now though, I can’t deny it anymore, I know what I want. And I want you.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you have a mate, what are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well don’t you?”

“I’m not seeing anyone or have claimed anyone—yet.”

You pausing looking at his distraught face.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“You don’t?”

“No.” His touches were romantic.

“Well I still don’t see what this conversation has to do with me.” , “Look, I’m not here to get mixed up in whatever.”

“Are you really that oblivious? Do you really not see it?”

“See what?”

He groaned rubbing his hands over his face. “Y/N, you’re killing me here.”

“It’s you. You are my mate.”

Everything froze around you.

Your hands trailed up his chest to wrap around his neck.

“My mate.”

“What?” You freeze. Attempting to put all the pieces of the puzzle together none of it makes sense to you. “You said so yourself humans can’t be mates.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. You aren’t bound by the same instincts or rules that I am. I was worried, I thought it was only me who felt something. But it’s you, always has been.”

He pulled you closer, and you didn’t fight him.

“Please, I’ll tell you everything, but I need to know. Do you feel the same?”

You swallowed hard. “I do.”

His body melted. “Do you mean that?”

You rolled your eyes. Your hands were around his neck, pulling him down and your lips crashing onto his even before he could finish that sentence. The sudden softness in the midst of the charged tension had you even more sure that you wanted this. The electricity just a kiss from him confirmed it all. You did feel the same way, have for a long time. He reciprocated gripping the sides of your waist and lips moving in tandem with yours. All the built-up tension from before exploded as your tongue brushing against his.

You push him away needing to breath. Tucking his head into your neck he presses kisses into your skin not wanting to part from you. “Why were you so worried? Didn’t you know that I was your mate before?”

“No, we can only begin to find our mates after we’ve fully shifted.“

Finding a place between your neck and collar he nipped at the flesh causing you to moan and shiver. Appreciating the sound he dug his hand deeper into your hair angling your head so he could access it better. “I knew it was you for sure after I shifted, but you were human and I didn’t understand. I had always been told that a mate couldn’t be human. But its been you all along. My elders had tried to talk me out of it, they had tried to keep me away from you. It didn’t help that I had so much to learn after shifting. It didn’t change anything, I kept looking for you. From the first time I found myself in your closet, I was too young to understand destiny, but its always been you.”

You didn’t realize how much you wanted to hear those words from him until he admitted it.

“Why? Why were you so mean.”

“I couldn’t get your attention otherwise.”

You giggled into eachother mouth. “Dumbass, all of this could have been avoided.”

He pinched at your side causing you to shriek.

“Let me take you home.” His voice is low and sweet, and drips like honey.

It takes a second to register what he said, awestruck by how much the words feel common place. “Okay.”

He chases your lips before pulling you along with him. “Wait! I need to get my stuff.”

You laugh at the whine that comes form him as you collect your things form your desk. When you turn around he has his hand extended and you tangle your hand in his. You can’t get the smile off your face. The next movements are rushed as you find yourself in his car. His hand tangles back in yours as soon as he’s in the drivers’ seat.

It takes all about fifteen minutes to get to Jin’s apartment. The moments in between getting there were filled with tension as his hand no longer was just content holding yours but clenching over your thigh and kneading the flesh. Upon reaching his unit he fumbled with the code for a few seconds. When he finally had you inside he pressed himself to you. He no longer appeared to be completely human. His fangs were extended, eyes gleaming red, and he at you like a man starved. He rolls his hips to your center, letting you feel the evidence of his erection tight against his slacks. “Tell me what you want. Anything you want, you can have it.”

“Jin.” You moaned at the feeling of him pressed against your center. You wanted all of him, but you didn’t know how to voice it all. You wanted to feel his weight on top of you, feel him within you and to hold him against you. You wanted more than just that though, but words felt unfulfilling besides his name.

“You really don’t realize what you do to me.” He grabbed under your thighs lifting you up so that your legs rested over his arms while he supported you against the wall. He grinded into you again, his hot breath fanning over your face before he sloppily kissed you.

“You turn me into a beast.”

He shifted so that your legs were wrapped around his waist and he held onto you tightly as he moved towards his bedroom. It all happens so quickly. You were pressed down on his bed with him hovering over you. He tugged at your shirt silently asking for permission to remove it which you give him happily. He pulled it off you delicately, as if you were an art piece he was afraid of breaking. He reached behind you an unhook your bra, tossing it.

He stared for a few moments. You wanted to cross your arms over your chest but he stopped you.

“Beautiful.” He swallowed harshly. He leans down trailing his nose along your sternum before nuzzling at your breast. His hand trailed up the side of your body before reaching your breast and kneading the flesh. His thumb traces over your nipple until they pebbled. With the other his mouth sucked marked into your flesh before taking your nipple into his mouth. You release soft gasp at the gentle pleasure. He switched showering each breast with kisses and small bites until they were both marked.

He propped himself up as he moved his mouth down from your chest to your stomach, caressing your sides. He moved until he was nestled between your legs. Sitting back on his heels he reaches for the waistband of your skirt again asking for permission. Intoxicated on the feeling you nod at him lazily. He pulled it down landing somewhere with your other clothes.

He spread your legs wider fitting himself between your legs. You were so wet that the fabric of your panties stuck to you. Using the slick he traced his finger over your slit, focusing on your clit. Your back arched off the bed, bowing towards the ceiling. It was a simple touch, but you were hypersensitive to his touch. With his face between your legs he looks deliriously in bliss.

The dichotomy of his nature made him an anomaly. He was domineering but tender in each of his approaches. Each motion was made with love, but eagerness to feel you. No partner you’ve had before had been so attentive, trekking your body as it was meant to be explored and learned.

“Shit, Y/n, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?”

You gasped his name when he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your clit. He chuckled, “Is my name the only thing you can say now?”

You flushed, “Stop teasing me.”

He pressed a kiss to your knee soothing the teasing.

“Fuck, you smell so ready for me.”

“Please.” You pleaded breathlessly.

“Just a taste, please.”

You nodded threading your hands through his hair. He hooked his fingers in your panties and pulled them down tossing them somewhere in the room. Yanking you forward and closer to him he spreads your legs for him putting you on full display. Kissing up your thighs moving closer to your center. When he places a kiss on your mound before he begins to gently. He sighed against your folds. “Delicious.”

He taste you longer than just a sample as he buries his head between your legs. The sounds of your moans and mewls awaken the cavernous part of him. He growled, the sound sending shivers down your spine and making you even wetter.

“Jin!” you gasp, as he eats you out. When he pushes a finger inside you can’t help but tighten your grip on his hair. It felt so good, the stretch was sending your sensitivity to overdrive. It has been a long time since you’ve had sex with someone, but your cunt was accepting his finger easily. He worked you up and slipped another finger inside you, the stretch causing you to screw your eyes shut. Letting out a pained cry of pleasure and a bit of sting from the stretch.

“Doing so good for me Y/n.” His fingers moved to spread you open, to let him in. He watched you from between your legs as he increased his pace when he felt you relax a bit around him.

He was driving you crazy, the sounds he was admitting as if he was enjoying it more than you was such a turn on. No one had ever made you feel this way, as if he wasn’t just touching your body but your soul. Your pressing your hips upwards, feeling your end coming near. Your pussy clenches around his finger when he keeps stroking that one spot within you. In combination with his lips on your clit and him finger fucking, you had never felt so much pleasure before.

“I’m—.” Your body tenses and you can feel yourself just on the edge.

“Come for me.” His words commanded you and like a band you snapped. Your walls pulsed around his finger as he kept you through your orgasm. He pulled his fingers out of you, licking them clean. When he seems your release dripping down from your entrance he leaned down licking it up. He pressed his tongue inside you. The action surprising and jerk, but you couldn’t move away. His tongue moved languidly and rhythmically within you until he was content. He continued to lap of your sweet release until you pushed him away.

He crawled over you. “So good for me. Fate couldn’t have chosen a better mate.” His words were possessive but you didn’t mind it. The word mate fell off his lips so easily.

You came down from the high gradually, chest heaving, and eyes

You see that he was still hesitant to let it through. You reached up cupping his face, gently tracing your thumb. “Let go.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.” He peppers kisses along your collarbone.

Your fingers make quick work of his shirt. You pause to admire his broad chest. It had been .

He grabs your hand before you reach for the button of his pants.

“Do you really know what this means. Know what I mean when I say you’re my mate and want you?”

“Yes, mark me. Claim me. I want you. I want all of you.”

“Even if it means forever?”

“yes.”

He allows you to undress the rest of him, he kicks off his pants and underwear and he’s completely bare before you.

His endowment makes your thighs clench. His cock was hard, thick and throbbing, the tip ozzing.

Coming down to his elbows he fits himself snuggly between your thighs, cock brushing your pussy. He reaches between you gathering your slick before spreading it over his cock. He teases your pussy by teasing your entrance, and with your slick he coats his cock with it.

“I’m going to fill you with my cum y/n. Knot you so none of it spills out.” He rubbed your hips. “You’d look so beautiful swollen with my pups.”

You couldn’t help but tremble, excitement filling your veins. You wanted to be sated, to feel him inside you already.

“I want it Jin.”

‘Anything for you, my love.”

That was the last warning you got before he was pressing into you. He watched your face as he filled with you with this thick length. You cried out, as you fisted the sheet under you. “Oh my god.”

His grip tightened on your hips enough you were sure they were going to bruise later. He was trembling just as much as you were. Slowly sinking in you he pumped until he was full seated inside you.

“Holy shit, this is way better than I’ve ever imagined.” He paused allowing you to adjust to his size.

When you shifted against him he took it as a cue to finally move. He pulled out almost the full way before he was sliding back in slowly. It drew out a choked moan from the both of you. His length dragged against your walls hitting that spot each time.

“Harder, please, harder!” You cried out. You trusted him enough to know he would keep his strength in check. You knew he could crush you, as lifting you earlier seemed like nothing to him.

The pace was gentle until he picked up a merciless pace. Each powerful thrust pushed him in deeper to you. You were quickly unraveling approaching your second orgasm in record time. The sensation of everything was addicting as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Tears built in the corner of your eyes.

He mouthed at your neck murmuring, “My mate. My sweet little mate, so good for me. Taking me so well.”

Nearing your orgasm you began trembling in his embrace. “Come again for me, my love. Give it to me.”

You clenched around him, shattering around his cock and in the same moment he sunk his fangs sunk in between your neck and shoulder. The pain meshed with the pleasure into an addictive eliquer that flooded your system.

He kept going. “Too much Jin!”

Licking clean the marking he pulled away from your neck. He pressed your legs up into your chest. He could see his cock going in and out of your swollen lips. He kept pounding into you, somehow reaching deeper into you. “I’m going to fill you up, love. Do you want it baby?”

You nodded. “Give it to me.” Tears were spilling form your eyes from the overstimulation.

With a final slam of his hips his length swelled inside you spilling his seed within you. When you expected it to end his length was still swelling at the base.

“Jin, what’s happening?” Your nails dug into his shoulders.

“Shhh, baby, its okay.” His mouth slipped back over to your neck, kissing over the fresh mark. He peppered you with affection as his hands soothed your flesh. He relaxed your legs until they wrapped around his waist holding you close.

Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore the knot stopped swelling. You heaved, panting slightly from the painful stretch.

“You did so well.”

You smiled, pulling him to your lips to kiss. The way he was looking at you as if you were his world had you reaching up to cover your face.

“What just happened?”

He stilled, “Do you regret it?”

You pulled your hands away form his face. “No, no, no.” He easily succumbs when you pull him closer to you. You rub your nose against his back and forth, wanting to return the affection. “It was perfect.”

He flushed crimson.

You spend hours after within eachothers embrace, even when his knot swelled down. You talked, whispered words of affection to eachother and fell into eachothers embrace again. Like the first time his touch is gentle, he praises the moon for bringing him to you. He leaves no part of you untouched, and you his.

You feel at home for the first time in a long time.

When the sun rises, you wake in his arms, head in the crook of his neck, as he held you tightly to his chest. Bodies still bare, you both felt there was no need to cover, he had his hand over your hip. Breathing in the scent of him and . The silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable. The sound of his heartbeat in your ear was calming.

Slowly pulling away from his neck you reach up and caress his face. With your thumb you trace under his eye and cheek with a butterflies touch.

“I love you.”

He smiles. “No. I’m supposed to say it first.”

You quirk a brow at him. “Who says so?”

He opened his eyes, the trails of sleep still evident. “I do. I love you, always have.” He captures your lips in his.

“You stayed.”

You pulled away. “Of course, I would.”

He smiled. “I know, but to have you here. In my bed. Next to me. It all seems like I’m still dreaming.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cheesy, you dork.”

“But you like it.”

Giggling as he peppers kisses all over your face you manage to worm out of his embrace. You jump out of bed. Taking his dress shirt from off the floor you toss it over yourself buttoning up a few buttons. “Don’t sour the sweetness too soon, wolf boy.” You let the last word roll but with no real malice. You know the word will rile him up.

From the bed he watched you. He had never seen anyone more beautiful. You had his heart that was for sure. He tossed the blanket off of himself chasing after you. “You take that back.”

You giggled running down his hall and out of sight with him chasing right behind you.

Even after the wildest journey, some things in life, like home, just won’t change.

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lululawrence · 3 years

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Polyamory Fic Rec

I thought I’d made one already, but apparently I hadn’t. So, since @twopoppies had an anon looking for more, I figured I’d go ahead and make a rec list now. This is not exhaustive, but it’s a start!

Please remember to leave the authors kudos and nice comments to show appreciation for their work.

I Should've Known by @nikogda (Liam/Louis/Harry, 11k)

It started out with little things here and there. A light that needed replacing. The belt in the vacuum. Small things, and eventually they took advantage of it.

Louis decided they needed another, larger repair whilst talking with his alpha neighbour, Liam. Liam had said he would do it for Louis and his partner, Harry.

And, well, it sort of went a little off track from there. What was an innocent thing at first, was now the two omegas’ way of catching the sweet deep scent of their alpha neighbour one whom they both mutually crushed.

Or: the one where alpha Liam moves in next door to bonded omegas Louis and Harry. All three go on their own journeys but in the end find that maybe, in the end, it really was always each other.

And That Was That by @lightwoodsmagic (Zayn/Liam/Harry/Louis, 23k)

“Okay. When Zayn and I were working on the set yesterday, Liam dropped by and mentioned he had a date. I asked Zayn about it, and he said that they’re ah - poly?”

Harry blinked.

“Oh yeah, I knew that. Li mentioned it when we were playing tennis once.” He ran his hand through Louis’ hair, smiling softly when he nuzzled into the touch.

“Is that what’s making you act strange? Because it seems like something that works for them, and I —.”

“Zayn has feelings for me.” A deep breath, and then blue eyes locked on green. “He said he needs distance because he has to get over them.”

Harry hadn’t realised his hand had fallen from Louis’ face until his fingers were being tangled and gripped tightly.

Or, Zayn and Liam have been polyamorous for years, but Harry and Louis are monogamous. When Zayn meets Louis and starts to fall for him, it opens them all up for something they've never experienced before.

That Don't Define Who You Are by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 7k)

“Shit,” Harry muttered, rushing towards the man. “Are you alright?”

The man clearly tried to muffle his scream. “No, I’m really not. I’m afraid you’ll need to call 999.”

When Harry reached the man, he saw the man’s leg had gotten caught by pieces of the bike that had come apart beneath him. Without thinking, Harry leaned down and lapped where the blood was flowing quickly until it slowed.

“I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want you to pass out whilst I was on the phone.”

“God, no, don’t apologise,” the man said. “My mum’s a licking omega, see. Quite soothing.”

Harry blushed. “Yeah. Let me see about an ambulance for you.”

Or the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.

Its Mutual We (All) Discussed It by @nikogda (Zayn/Harry/Louis, 29k)

“Well you go to the agency, Alpha Donor Services and fill some forms out, whoever is doing the deed gets tested and such. And then they match you based on the papers with a few Alphas. You read the information on them and pick a few, they make sure they’re still willing and tell them about you. Eventually you guys will meet in public, do that a few times until you’re comfortable.” Niall scratched his arm lightly, and glances over at Harry, “The point of the service is to help a family, mostly an omega one, who can’t have children of their own. An Alpha will help an Omega get pregnant.”

“I feel like this is a lot.” Harry mumbles, setting his mug down.

“It is. Or well it was but it was worth it, H. I mean, I would do this again. We already talked about it.”

“Really?”

Or: Two omegas in a committed relationship are ready to start a family. In the process, their alpha donor becomes part of the family too. Every part of their relationship may be unconventional but all of them have never been happier

old haunts are for forgotten ghosts by fortymaliks (Nick/Harry/Louis, 8k)

“It’s the three of us, now,” Harry says, finally.

Louis blinks.

“Like,” Harry rushes to clarify, “you, and me, and Nick.”

Louis wakes up with amnesia, and learns that he's missing two whole years of his life. Two whole years, and some interesting developments...

Orion's Belt by @londonfoginacup (Nick/Harry/Louis, 24k)

Louis and Nick have been in a happy committed relationship for two years, their matching soulmarks on display for the world to see. It’s been them against the world, the alpha/beta singer and radio DJ power duo.

All that changes on February 1st, when they wake up to a third matching soulmark.

As they say, the course of true love never did run smooth.

You're a Rabbit, Louis Series by @magicalrocketships (Nick/Harry/Louis, 16k)

"Maybe Louis turned into a rabbit," Nick suggests. They both laugh. Louis doesn't. Harry is an idiot and Nick is an even bigger one.

Louis stomps past both of them on four tiny, furry, baby rabbit paws, and into Nick's flat. "I hate you both," he says. He sits on the rug by the TV. "And you can stop following me around too," he says to Pig, who sits down next to him on the rug.

"But seriously," Harry says, from the door. "Where's Louis?"

Louis thumps his back leg on the floor. "I'm here, you idiot."

"I'm not really suggesting this could be true," Nick says carefully, "but are we sure he isn't a tiny baby rabbit?"

The "A" in "Normal" by Yesitstyles (Nick/Harry/Louis, 28k)

Louis eats chips, argues with his best friend Nick about the validity of various sexualities, and falls for a second crush. Harry tries to spell the word "normal".

Loving You's the Antidote by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 11k)

Nick and Harry had never been an obvious match. When eighteen-year-old Harry, newly presented as an omega, came home freshly bonded to Nick, a man nine years his elder and a beta no less, Anne had been more than skeptical and Eileen had shared some harsh words of her own. That didn’t deter them, though, and their families soon realised there really was something special about the bondmates that allowed them to work together almost seamlessly.

It was only a few months later that Harry started getting sick.

Or the one where Harry and Nick have been able to keep Harry's disorder at bay over the course of their relationship, but when they move to London and away from their support system, they find themselves in desperate need of help.

Come Out and Play by @dinosaursmate (Combination of OT5 pairings, 30k)

“I have this… fantasy.” Louis smiled self-consciously. “Well, I- I’ve been thinking about it recently, you know?”

Harry smiled softly. “Say it, Lou.”

“I have this fantasy,” he repeated. “Of… all five of us.”

“All five of us,” Harry exclaimed. “Gosh.”

Louis buried his face into Harry’s armpit, and Harry giggled softly. --- Harry and Louis discover a new kink in their relationship, and it brings all the boys closer than they could have ever imagined.

Trinity's Fate by Anonymous (Nick/Harry/Louis, 43k)

When a person is sixteen years old, he or she finds out if they are a dom or a sub. Later when they turn eighteen, the name of their soulmate(s) appear somewhere on their body.

Louis Tomlinson, a sub, fears getting a dom more than anything.

When his eighteenth birthday approaches and the names Nicholas Grimshaw and Harry Styles, a well known dom couple who are DJs for BBC Radio 1, appear on his arms, Louis panics.

Let me be your good night by Conscious_ramblings (Nick/Greg/Harry/Louis, 8k)

The one where Harry and Louis are in love, they end up at a party with some friends, and end up discovering things about themselves, and their friends that could change everything.

The thing was, Harry and Louis weren’t poly. They’d never even played with others together, despite having talked about it quite a lot in the heat of arousal. When they had been at torture garden and antichrist they had flirted with the idea. Harry had even kissed a friend of theirs once to rile Louis up, which had lead to a great session on the Saint Andrew’s cross. Louis loved to watch Harry flirt, loved the way jealousy turned him on and riled him up, loved how pliant and submissive Harry could be when Louis claimed him after. But they definitely weren’t poly, and Louis wasn’t quite sure what that meant for this evening. Everyone else attending the party was, and Louis’ green-eyed-monster had been feeding off that fact for most of the bus ride here. Now he was confronted by a really hot man playing with his boyfriend’s hair like it was no big deal, and he didn’t know quite what to do.

Perfect Sky by @polkadotlou (Nick/Harry/Louis, 40k)

Sub pairs are a rare thing, not only because of the jealousy that can brew between submissives if a Dom isn't attentive to each.

A sub pair has to be balanced.

Harry and Louis have always fit each other without trying. With them, it's easy.

But sub pairs can't just go out in the world and live on their own.

Alternatively, Louis always knew that a Dom was going to come into his and Harry’s lives – he only wishes Nick picked him too.

The Only Thing That Keeps Me Grounded by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 28k)

“Shit, I definitely missed the last train.”

“Oh no,” Louis lamented. “I’d offer a ride, but I’m part of a carpool and we’re full already. I’m so sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.” Then, what Louis said sank in. “Wait, I thought you were here alone?”

“Oh, I am. I’m the only one dancing here tonight. The others were working. In fact, here’s Nick now.”

It felt like slow motion as a tall, lanky man with incredible hair came walking over towards Louis. He smiled before pulling Louis into him and giving him a quick kiss.

“Nick, this is my new friend Harry. He just moved to the area and he’s amazing at swing. Harry, this is my husband, Nick.”

Fuck.

Or the one where Harry moves to Washington DC to be a nanny and never expects that his past struggles with love will be brought to a head. He definitely never expects the solution to it all will be the man of his dreams that just so happens to be married to the other man of his dreams.

Tell Me It’s The Strongest Shape by @louandhazaf (Nick/Elgar/Louis, 73k)

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others.

When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship.

They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

it hurts, but it's worth it by words_unravel (Liam/Harry/Louis, 14k)

Liam finds the shots of the three of them, rolling around and laughing, a week or so later during a late night. After a moment's pause, she saves one of the photos, giving it some inane, boring name. She shuts down her computer after that and goes to bed.

It takes a long time before she falls asleep.

#mine #poly fic rec #my fic rec #fic rec #i love poly fics so much #i thought i had made one of these already????#i was surprised to find i hadn't #so anyway #this is a good start

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girlsexbattle2 · 2 years

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I spent like a good hour writting this shit in a reblog but i want to know if it is shit or not so here we go

was going to wright this in the tags but its annoying sp ill write it here <3 (i also havent watched jimmy/scott 3rd life so Sorry)

the prickel of the abyss surrounds you. not that you can really *tell" bc of the whole, yknow.. dead thing. you desperately try to focus on the past, the serve in horay! You died first! The most consistent disappointmemt of them all, not to think about how fucking furious your other is- should! be. You ruined it. again. always first out, and now not alone! (Not alone? like in hobbit homes or the scent of poppies or the god forbidden joy of being choosen despite all your flaws. someone made the decision to put up-) And youre thinking about it again. I told you not to did i not? For the love of god dont look *that* misserable. Arent you used to this feeling by now? and its not like your soulmate ever got that mad at *you*. however, for your credit its kinda hard to run from memories, here (?) if you call this a here. the feeling of this void is uncomfortable. not enough to ever be upset about but enough to unnerve. Something about the utter emptiness outside of you envokes inner emptiness. Anyways you were looking for him right? What do you mean no, what else would you look for? Everyone else gave up on you in the end, gotta let him have his moment too. Its difficult to 'move. its like space in a way! but it some what works. You wave your arms frantically or kick off the smoke and you go somewhere! in a direction probably. i mean i dont know why im telling you this. you are quite familiar with death arent you? oh cheer up you get front row seats you should be happy. Dont ignore me. You say ons Wrong- wait you whats that.

The smell (you can smel!! yay!) of nether smoke and gasolinehits you. youve never been happier to know an argument is near by. You take a deep breath and try your best to follow, adventually slamming into something smooth. after some re adjustment you are set for walking. Moon walking that is, with the whole lack of gravity. But that wont deter you. for some damned reason you are hell set on finding a man quite literally smoking with furry but your own double death, or would ot be quadruple? you cant run from me jimmy im in your head! well you are still running towards fire. A glow in the distance. A shinmer of hope that atleast you wont be alone in this. But instead of a furious wall you find a crumpled spark. "Look Tango buddy, Im sorry. You deserved a better ending than that." The flame is still. you take another breath of smoke and try again.

"I messed up, and even if you never talk to me again just know ill always be glad to be a rancher with you! Again!" You both just stay still for a while. there is no sound for anywhere to 30 seconds to years but adventually you hear a small sob.

"Tango!"

"Oh youre still here?" his voice sounds devoid of life. Before you can get a single thought out (dont worry we know its difficult for you)

"Go home..." You have nothing to add. Your thoughts are anything but blank (for once) but not a single one can coherently conjure in your mouth. You only see home. There is no coW shit feet away from you bed, ashes neV

A/ashing out of the floorThere is no cow shit feet away from you bed, ashes never washing out of the floor,.. or the grass,... or the walls. Its clovers tied lovingly in your hair, mountain air, the promise of no matter what you were loved (and how it shattered), even the bickering! But you cant let him down. Its not that you dont love him! its just you know better now. "Go"

Well its definitely NOT a question. But you know bickering quite well.

"My home isnt *there* anymore..." The flame shoots up a bit. Not a reaction you were going for but you can come back from this! Team rancher #1 baybe!! "But i dont want to be alone forever. Tango, I dragged you down in the curse, we were doomed from the beginning because of ME. Im not asking for forgiveness i just want.. dont know. just! dont know man! have no idea." There is another space. You hope it is consideration. Maybe... Maybe.

oakyyy hopefully that makes any since in the narrative and its not just how i read it! welp see ya

#team rancher #double life smp #mcyt fic

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thepaperpanda · 3 years

Text

♥ Dangerously Perfect Match ♥ || Part III

♥Part I♥

♥Part II♥

Summary: Despite Earl Wolf's life is being flipped upside down, she still finds herself capable of bestowing one particular person with reconciliation and forgiveness

Warnings: Ivar 😈

Words: 10284

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Hvitserk was right - it was getting easier and easier every day. With each sunrise there was less Ivar in your memory and thoughts, he slowly stopped poisoning your mind which made you feel much better.

No more nightmares, no more doubts.

You simply carried on with all the duties of the Earl with Hvitserk by your side. He was really helpful despite your rough beginning. He was always there to help, and be the shoulder you could lean on.

If you only knew how much you would bring back from this whole journey, maybe you would have never decided to go.

Two months after returning home your body started changing, you stopped bleeding which never happened before and your belly started to grow.

After a short talk with your dear friend you decided to visit the healer. There your fears changed into reality.

You returned to the Great Hall and gave Hvitserk a soft smile, poor man was just as worried as you were.

"And what did healer say?," Hvitserk asked, offering you his arm as he gently wrapped his free hand around your waist to lead you back to your room. "You're pale like you'd have seen a ghost or any other mara," Ragnarsson claimed.

You let him walk you to your room, not speaking a word. There, you sat down on the bed and let out a heavy sigh. You weren't really sure how to admit it. Was it good news, or a curse sent by gods to punish you for getting involved with someone like Ivar.

"Well...," You said quietly with a shaky voice. "I am with a child."

"Congratulations," a smile formed on his lisp and he gasped, relieved. "I was worried you're sick. Child is a reason to celebrate and to be happy for Gods blessed you, dear."

You looked at him in disbelief. He was happy. You carried the child of a man that pretended to love you, played with you, used you for his own plans, and then just threw you away like a used rag when you were no longer needed. That man was hunting you for months, every dream and spilled tears reminded you how stupid you were. "Is there really a reason to be happy, Hvitserk? It's his child! What shall I do now?! Return to him like a wounded dog that I already am and beg him to take me back because of his child? He probably wouldn't even believe me! This child is Ivar's curse."

"Wait. Wait," Hvitserk frowned strongly, tilting head. "I know you and him had sex but he's a cripple. He can't have children, I am more than sure about that," he claimed. "Maybe you slept with someone else. It can't be Ivar's child. It can't."

"One more word and I will break more than your nose, Ragnarsson!," You growled at him, getting up from the bed. "Who do you think I am! I am the Earl, not some common whore. Since we returned from Kattegat I haven't slept with anyone else! There was just Ivar, and no one else ever after!"

"For Odin's sake, it breeds...," Hvitserk mumbled under his breath so you didn't hear him. "If he's the father, he should know anyway."

You laughed and shook your head, rubbing the bridge of your nose. "You think he will care? He is a heartless monster, he already proved it by toying me. You good know what he did, in the best case scenario he won't believe it and in the worst - he will try to kill us both."

"Think of what he will do if he finds out one day. He'll ground the settlement, he'll burn your people alive...," Hvitserk lowered his tone, grunting in the end. "Not that I am not happy, I'll be the uncle though, but I rather thought of Ubbe's child, Bjørn's maybe..."

Suddenly you bursted into tears. It was too much for you to handle at once.

Not so long ago you used to live without Ivar and now this happened. You just wanted to disappear, make everyone forget you have even existed. Hvitserk for a second stood still, he wasn't sure whether he should console you or not. In the end, he decided to approach and wrap his arms around your shaking shoulders. He hugged you tight. "I'll take care of you and of the child you're carrying. Don't be worried or sad, you're strong and you'll survive. And, you won't be able to say you're all alone in this world. You'll be the mother. You need to be strong for the baby."

You immediately nuzzled to him, shaking your head as you tried to catch a proper breath. "I can't, Hvitserk... It's his child. It's his... I don't want it. I can't... I don't know how to be a mother."

"You know. You had it written in your womanhood somehow," he assured, gently rubbing your shoulders. "The child didn’t want to come to this world, you both invited him or her, you need to be responsible now. As I said, I'll help as much as possible."

Hvitser was right in some way. "I... I just don't want him back in my life. I wasted enough time with him. He won't use me or the child."

"He won't. I won't let this happen," Hvitserk replied, kissing top of your head. "We'll survive."

As much as you hated to admit it; Hvitserk was right once again.

You never thought that your people can be more caring than they already were but they proved that they indeed could. Since the announcement was made, everyone became even more careful and protective of their Earl. All the women made sure you were okay.

This was something wonderful but all the nice words and assures didn't really change what you felt inside.

With every month the child under your heart grew bigger.

It was wonderful but deep inside you remembered Ivar's action. Everything that led you to this moment. You hated the child for being part of him but there also was part of you in there. You were torn apart.

Everything changed seven months later. After countless hours of bloody and painful labor, the child was welcomed to the world.

It was a boy and as soon as you saw him you knew you would kill anyone who will even try to hurt him.

You didn't care that boy had those piercing blue eyes and dark hair. He was your son and nothing would change that.

This was how little Vali became the part of your life.

In the beginning, you were sure that he was some kind of a curse, something to destroy your life more but after the first two months of motherhood, you were sure he was a blessing.

That one day, Hvitserk came from a little trip on the North; he went to meet with king Olaf who somehow learnt about Earl Wolf becoming a mother. "Y/N?," He asked once he got into the Great Hall. "I brought gifts from the king. He wishes you all the best and he sends his sincere wishes to yours son, too."

You sat on your throne with a Vali proactively wrapped in your arm and furry cloak. "Gifts? From Olaf? That's a great surprise, I'll have to send a messenger to thank him for this all. He didn't have to do this."

Smiling you got up from the throne and walked to Hvitserk. "Look Vali, your dear uncle is back," you hummed and looked at Ragnarsson. "He missed you so much."

"I hope," Hvitserk chuckled in the deep tone of his. He reached under his cloak and pulled out a little bear-shaped toy, made of the finest type of silk. "This one's for you, Vali. Just don't eat it."

You laughed, and took the toy to show it to the little boy.

Vali looked at the toy and giggled loudly. "He loves it. I can already tell we have a new thing that he won't sleep without.”

"That's good," Hvitserk briefly tapped the boy's nose and placed the little kiss on his temple shortly after. "So, maybe now you'll stay with me, so your beautiful mom can have some spare time?"

"Hvitserk, you just got back. Please, go take a bath and rest. I am already done with my duties for the day, so spending time with my handsome, little bundle of happiness is a blessing," you assured him.

"You sure?," He asked but nodded shortly. "Whatever Earl says."

What he needed would never come and no matter how much he seeked, he wouldn't find it.

Ivar wasn't born for great things, nor to find his place in the sun, he kind of accepted it. He could try every day, work for what he wants and needs, but there were no paths to success, not from here, from the abyss of rage and nothingness.

People talked as if he couldn't hear them.

He knew too well they spoke about him being inept in all facets of the ruling.

Kattegat turned into a very dark place since both Earl Wolf and older Ragnarsson left.

People, who were unfavorable to their new leader, were vanishing in pretty questionable circumstances.

Settlement streets were said to be flowing with the blood of enemies of the self proclaimed king.

People lived in terror, hoping everyday they'll be able to witness another sunrise.

Ivar locked himself completely. Trusting only a few people, he spent all of his days within Great Hall, in his bedroom, dreaming of other scenarios, dreaming of what would happen if he didn't send the Earl away.

There was hope before, when she was by his side. Just a tiny flicker against the wind. But not it vanished completely, leaving a painful wound across his heart.

He heated himself for what he decided back then but he couldn't turn the time back.

But the worst was about to come.

When deputy of king Olaf arrived with the very unexpected news about Earl Wolf, Ivar broke completely. Not only did he destroy the place he was born in, and which he used to call home, he randomly stabbed at least two of his guards in a rage outburst.

He had never felt so much rage before as when he learnt she bore a son.

Few days had passed since Hvitserk returned and you felt happy; your little family was reunited.

You were sitting on a furry rug with Vali and tried to tell him a story but the boy was too busy with his new toy to listen to your voice.

"You know, Hvitserk, I was scared before he was born that he will be deformed as his father or that he will destroy my life but now I am ready to protect him with my life," you said and raised your head, looking at the man entering your room.

Hvitserk held a mango in his hand. His glance immediately fell on you and a little bundle of joy placed on your lap. "I told you to not be stressed. He is perfectly fine and will grow into a fierce warrior, just like his mother," Hvitserk cut mango in half and offered you piece.

You gave him a smile and took the fruit. "Maybe when he grows up, there will be no need to fight. Maybe finally the world will be at peace, no need to risk life for a bit of glory or spill innocent blood." After saying that you took the bite of mango and hummed at the sweetness. "I am just happy my fears did not eat me alive and thanks Gods you were here the whole time."

Ragnarsson didn't say anything to comment on your words, he simply took a seat on the chair a few steps away and continued observing how you played with the baby.

"Don't sit so far away from us, Hvitserk. Come and play with us, little Vali wants to play with his uncle," you giggled, and took Hvitserk's hand to gently pull him so he joined both of you on the fluffy rug.

He followed your ask and sat on the floor next to you. His arm wrapped carefully around the baby as you passed the boy to him. Shortly after Hvitserk was laying on his back, holding Vali in his straightened arms, up in the air, gently tossing the boy up to catch him in his arms seconds later, earning a loud laughter and giggling from the boy.

You laughed, watching them. This sight was a pleasure to your heart. Your little boy was healthy and happy, not caring about anything else but fun. He was always taken care of, with his belly full, and it was all he ever needed.

Hvitserk was a blessing, too.

Even if you sometimes wished that Ivar was here, the older Ragnarsson easily stepped into the father role for Vali. Right now, you didn't regret anything that ever happened because this all brought you here, and you were happy with this all.

Hvitserk looked at you with the corner of his eye. "Something wrong? You're staring."

You gasped and used your hands to cover your eyes with a quiet laugh. "Prince Hvitserk, I am so sorry for staring. I just found the two of you playing so cute that I couldn't help myself and watch. Please forgive me."

He couldn't stop himself from chuckling. "Everything is forgiven." He kept playing with the baby. The boy started to reach his chubby hands towards Hvitserk, so the man gently laid the baby on the furs and pretended to attack him. He earned a salve of laughter, so loud that it could pierce the ears.

You laughed with your boy and soon joined them to bathe the baby in the deserved attention and love.

Month passed quickly. With Vali under your care, it passed even quicker than you have ever expected.

The night covered the settlement in the darkness, every place went quiet but not the Great Hall.

When others were getting ready to sleep, you walked around your room with Vali in your arms while humming a lullaby.

The boy was your little treasure but putting him to bed was a nightmare, despite the day full of fun, he didn't want to sleep.

Most nights looked like this, he wasn't in pain or anything like this. He was just fussing.

Suddenly one of your thralls stepped in. "My lady, a deputy from another settlement arrived and claimed he has some news for you."

Hvitserk, who slept in another room already, was woken up by a chatter and rumour in the main chamber so he got up, put tunica on and went to check what was going on.

You frowned and passed the boy to the thrall. "Try to put him to bed or just wait with him here."

Soon. you entered the main chamber. You didn't expect any message from anyone you knew, this was very suspicious. Whatever it was you were ready to fight if needed. Sitting in your throne, you measured the deputy with a cold gaze.

"What new do you bring? What place are you from?"

"I'm coming from Kattegat,. ma'am," the deputy said, bowing his head.

Hvitserk, who entered the chamber and stood next to your throne, frowned.

You froze hearing this, clearing your throat you straighten your back.

"If king Ivar expects more gold from us you can tell him he won't get it. We broke both military and trading bonds between settlements. I won't pay more since we get nothing from the other side."

Deputy lowered his head. "King Ivar was killed by King Aethewulf in England."

You blinked completely shocked by those words. It was hard to believe since you saw his skills, he was simply too skilled to just get killed.

"Who gave you that information? Has anyone seen the body or his death?"

"I, my lady. I and at least one hundred of our warriors who made it back to Norway after unsuccessful raids."

Rubbing your cheek you nodded, still trying to accept the words you just heard. It was hard, you got over him months ago but Vali was this one little string that reminded and connected you to Ivar the Boneless.

"You can go. My people will give you a place to sleep, we can talk in the morning. Now rest, the way here was long and hard."

When the deputy left the Great Hall, you sighed heavily and looked at Hvitserk at your side.

"What do you think? Your brothers are back in Kattegat? Is he really dead or is it some kind of twisted plan to get us?"

Hvitserk looked all sad. "I don't know. But I don't think this man lied to us. He was dead serious. If this is true... If he died... For Odin's sake, I feel sick."

You quickly moved to him to place your palms on his cheeks in an attempt to calm him down. "Hvitserk, my friend. Please, stay calm, take a deep breath"

He did but it resulted in him shivering all over his body. "It can't be true... He was my little brother after all..."

You hushed him and hugged him as tightly as you only could. "I know, I know he was. I also can't believe it. Maybe the man was wrong, maybe he didn't see it right. Maybe your brother is alive... Just lost."

Hvitserk, as much as he hated it, broke fully and started sobbing. "Leave me, Y/N. I just need a walk." He gently pushed you aside and simply went out, don't paying attention to the coldness of the night and to the heavy rain outside.

What else could you do? He needed this, so you let him go, he would come back as he always did.

After a few more minutes of thinking, you simply returned to your room. Vali was somehow already asleep in his wooden crib. "If you only knew how much we lost. All of us," you whispered and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead.

After tucking him in, you sat on your bed and broke into tears. Ivar was gone and it hurt. Despite everything they ever happened, deep down you still loved him.

Hvitserk returned in the morning. He was soaked wet with rain, and so drunk that he simply had a close encounter with the door leading to his room.

Loud bang on the door woke you up. Soon, you were out of the bed to see what even was that. The sight of poor Hvitserk all wet and drunk was really sad. "Oh, Hvitserk. What have you done to yourself..."

He scoffed. "I'm fine, Y/N. I can't find my room. Did you.... T-take it away?"

You let out a heavy sigh, and shook your head. "Girls! Could you please come here?”

Three thralls that you knew he liked the most walked up to you. "What can we do?"

"Take him to his room, bathe him, feed him if he wants, change his clothes and put him to bed, please," you said, and the girls looked at Hvitserk.

"I can do... By my own... I am not drunk," he placed hands on his hips trying to scoff your words but instead he lost his balance and almost fell to the floor.

You chuckled. "Yes, we can all see this. Go with girls. I know you like them, they will help you."

Hvitserk gasped but his hand wrapped around the waist of one of the girls.

All three of them giggled. "Oh, we will gladly help him and take care of him," one of them hummed happily.

Two years passed like sand in an hourglass; quickly and unnoticeable. Some time ago Vali was just a little bundle of joy, and now he was a curious two-year-old. Always asking questions and looking at new stuff with those big blue eyes.

Vali took most after his father, those beautiful eyes and dark hair. Happily, his character was more like yours.

"You think we should throw a feast today? After all, it's boy's big day," you asked, and looked at Hvitserk while playing with Vali's hair.

Hvitserk was sitting at the table, playing with a knife in his hands as he was rethinking your idea. "Yes. We need to feast. This is your son's big day. He needs to feel it, even if he's not too old to understand fully. I asked Katherine to prepare it already."

You laughed and kissed the boy's head. "You see how much your uncle loves you? We will let you sit a bit longer today than. My big, beautiful boy," saying this you hugged Vali tightly.

Hvitserk continued his play with the dagger while observing you hugging your baby boy.

The feast was a tale of how your people loved Vali.

"Above all, this is a feast of our emotions, of our bonds, with the food and mead as the perfect symbol of these everlasting bonds," Hvitserk said happily as he was sitting right by your side, enjoying the party and keeping his eye on the baby boy.

Raising your horn you laughed. "Let's drink, my friends! Let's drink for my son, and my dear friend, Hvitserk! May Gods bless them with love and happiness that they deserved," you said loudly, and the crowd cheered loudly, agreeing with you.

One of thralls refilled Hvitserk's cup and she just stared at him. "Sir, do you need anything else?"

He caught her glance, and a mischievous grin danced in his lips. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Astrid, my lord."

You watched then with a smile. It was a common fact that Hvitserk could charm girls with just one smile.

Suddenly a man walked in, you recognized him as one of your warriors. He walked to you to whisper something into your ear. Frowning softly you nodded. "Hvitserk? Someone is asking to see the Earl. Shall we let him in or just send him away?"

Hvitserk narrowed his brows. "Did we invite anyone from outside? I can't recall it. Today is the feast of your lovely son and this is what she should focus on."

"No, we did not but from what he said the person looks for a safe place to stay and heal wounds," you said, bouncing the boy on your knee.

"Maybe we should let him in, see what he really expects?"

"I'll condone your every decision."

You nodded and looked at the warrior. "Bring the person in. I want two guards with whoever it is, just to be safe."

The man nodded and quickly runoff.

"My friends! We will have an unexpected guest! Let's all see why he is here!," you informed people gathered in the Great Hall. "Astrid, please take my boy to my room. He is sleepy."

When the boy was taken to the safety of your room, you got comfortable in your throne and waited to see who the visitor really was.

Ivar wasn't sure of what he was doing.

He couldn't simply get back to Kattegat, now Bjørn was the king and he would simply cut his head off as soon as he would appear on the horizon.

Those months were hard for him. After miraculously getting back from England on a single boat belonging to traders, he wandered through Norway all by his own, trying to find a safe place.

Unfortunately, due to him being a ruthless ruler before, he had more foes than friends and it wasn't so easy to stay calmly in any place.

He hated the fact he had to show up here, in the settlement ruled by Earl Wolf herself.

Soon, your warrior entered the room with the company of the mysterious visitor. The whole Great Hall went quiet, carefully observing the newcomer. All men were ready to fight if needed.

You stiffened hearing the familiar sound. Crutch, step, step, and then again crutch, step, step.

No, he was dead. It couldn't be him unless the Gods decided to torment you more than they already did.

Clearing your throat you did your best to calm down your nerves. "Who are you? And what do you want? Explain your purpose here."

Hvitserk also stopped whatever he was doing. The sound of crutch was too familiar but his brother was long gone. It just had to be some cripple, seeking a safe place to spend the night.

Ivar, with hood on his head, slowly walked until the guards stopped him in the middle of the chamber. After taking a long breath, he slowly took the hood off, raising his head. "I'm Ivar the Boneless and I came to see Earl Wolf."

Hvitserk jolted up. "Guards!," He raised his tone.

More men walked closer to Ivar, ready to protect the Earl.

"Is this some kind of a joke? Or a magic trick? Curse?," You asked with a frown. "Are you the real Ivar the Boneless? The whole Norway let out a sigh of relief when they heard about his death in England, and now you came here, claiming to be him?"

As much as you wanted it to be a joke or curse, it wasn't. It was Ivar himself, he was here, and he stood right in front of you in your own settlement, asking for a safe place. There were many emotions boiling in you; happiness because he was alive, and anger for all that he did to you in the past. You wanted to hug him but at the same time you wished to see him bleed out all over your ax.

"As much as I would love to be feasting with Odin and Æsirs in Valhalla now, I'm not dead in the slightest," he replied.

You could see a large cut on his right cheek, going almost from his temple down to reach his jaw. One of his eyes was fully red.

You laughed, and got up from your throne to walk closer. "Look at this! You all leave the food and look at this, people! Great Ivar the Boneless, the man who used me and my trust, came here, looking for a safe place to stay like a wounded dog he is!" Pulling out the dagger you always carried for safety, you looked at him, and then pressed the blade to his neck. "For all you did to me, I should slit your throat open, and let you bleed out. Just to free everyone from you," you growled.

"Mama, uncle!" Little boy ran out of the room and immediately hugged Hvitserk's leg, hiding from the stranger.

Hvitserk leaned down and picked the boy up, wrapping arms tightly around the little trembling figure. His eyes never left Ivar’s features.

Ivar smiled simply at your words and wrapped his palm around the blade of your dagger, so hard that soon the blood started dropping to the floor. "Go on. Free me."

"On the other hand, doing this will be too easy," you growled, and took the dagger away. Shaking your head, you walked back to Hvitserk. "I guess the thrall couldn't keep the boy away. What do we do with Ivar now?," You asked before placing a comforting kiss on the little boy's head.

"I have no idea, I am just as shocked as you are," Hvitserk whispered, his glance still locked on Ivar.

"To say that I am shocked is an understatement, my friend," you said with a little frown, and took Vali into your arms. Poor thing was shaking from the whole situation and nerves. "It's okay, Vali. Mother is here, you are safe," you whispered, wrapping your furry cloak around the boy to calm him down.

Of course Ivar spotted the baby in your arms. Boy could have at least up to 3 springs, not more for sure. A cold needle of envy pierced Ivar's heart. You had a family you craved that much.

"Take him to that one empty hut. Take away that cursed crutch, make sure to tie his hands together. His legs won't be a big problem. Bring healer to him so she can have a look at his wound," you ordered, looking right at Ivar while holding the child close to your chest. "Feed him if he is hungry. I want him to be guarded day and night."

"All this for a cripple?," One of your people asked loudly. "Look at him! Wounded, in despair. He won't be able to hurt anyone, my lady."

"We should leave him to die in the forest," one of the women claimed. "My dearest son was killed by his side!"

"I fought by his side! I know what he is capable of, never underestimate him. Crippled or not he can be dangerous," you claimed, pointing at Ivar. "I was betrayed by him but I won't lower myself to his position by using cruelty. Take him away, and do as I said. This is an order."

Most people groaned unhappily at the order but they followed.

Ivar was escorted to the empty hut, located almost in the woods.

You let the feast continue but returned to your bedroom.

There was not much sleep that night.

When Vali was asleep right next to you, wrapped in warm furs, you lied there motionless, thinking. You couldn't believe what actually happened that night. The man that was your lover, father of your child, dead man was here. He was alive. Hate toward Ivar was strong, he hurt you so bad but at the same time, he gave you the little treasure you called your son. Not to mention you somehow missed him.

When the morning came, you left Vali with Astrid and went to visit Ivar.

He was all tied up. Your people took good care to wrap ties around his wrists hard enough that after an hour or two he lost feeling in both of his hands, locked high above his head.

Being completely overwhelmed by pain from all the blows he experienced during the night, he fell in complete oblivion before the dawn, his head rolled down as his chin rested against his chest.

You didn't like what you saw when you entered the hut. This wasn't what you ordered. Of course, you wanted to be sure he won't attack you, your child, or Hvitserk but this was too much. By the look around you could tell the healer was never there as well as the food was never delivered, while the hut was also cold. "Guards!," You yelled and waited at them to join you.

Two of your loyal men approached. "My lady?," One of them asked.

"What happened here? Why is he tied up like this? Beaten up? This place is cold, was healer even here?," You looked at them, crossing arms over your chest. "Did he get anything to eat?"

Men exchanged glances. "No. Healer refused to come here, and people took their retaliation in first and twice as nasty."

"Who do you think you all are to oppose my orders!? I am the Earl!," You snapped at them. "You had to guard him! Not let people use him as an old doll. You can tell anyone who dared to touch him that I will find them and take care of them by myself, you two included." Shaking your head you walked past them before giving them one more look. "I go to the healer to get stuff I need. You two better not touch him until I am back."

As soon as Earl vanished from their sight, guards measured themselves with mean glances.

"You know by yourself what they say, that the boy is his," one of them remained his mate and spat on the floor.

You visited the healer's hut to gather whatever stuff needed to take care of Ivar's injury. Maybe you weren't a real healer but taking the fact you were a warrior, you knew how to take care of the wounds. Soon, you returned to Ivar, making sure guards stayed outside.

The sight of him broke your heart, he hurt you but you never wanted him to suffer like this. "As the Earl I feel ashamed. I am sorry that my people treated you like this," you said, undoing the rope that held his hands. "This was not my order."

As he heard any commotion, he opened his eyes. The last thing he expected was your presence in the same chamber. He was highly aware how broken he had left you before, and to be fair, he was secretly shocked with the fact you even tried to help him, in any way. As you undid the ropes, he fell on the floor with loud hiss escaping his chapped lips. He couldn't support himself due to the fact his hands were curled and cold - it was difficult to obtain sufficient blood flow when his hands were tied too tightly above his head for many long hours.

You sat on the floor, and helped him sit up, resting his back against the wall. "I just hope they didn't damage you more. This wasn't my order, I am furious they did this to you."

Ivar looked directly at you but he remained silent.

You gave him a flat smile, and then cupped his cheek to take a look at the nasty wound on his face. Helping him was wrong, you should let your people do what they wanted for what he did to you but you simply couldn't bring yourself to cruelty. Those stupid feelings didn't let you. You started to gently clean the wound, despite his angry hisses you kept your work on it.

He closed his eyes, struggling with the burning pain on his cheek when you pressed the wet rug soaked with some oils and herbs to the wound. It started bleeding immediately. Ivar clenched his teeth, letting out a loud grunt.

"Did you get anything to eat? Drink?," You asked him, still working on that wound of his. He would live, all that would be left after it would be a scar.

"No," he replied in that particular soft tone of his.

Letting out a deep sigh you shook your head, this was unbelievable. How could your own people not listen to their leader, and simply do what they want with a defenseless man? "Guards!," You yelled and looked over your shoulder as soon as they entered the hut. "Take him, and carry him to the Great Hall."

Men gave you a look. "I'm sorry, my lady, but he is the devil himself. Our people don't want him among us."

You rolled your eyes. "Are you deaf? Earl gave you an order, do it or I will feed you to wolves by myself. I am your leader, I decided about his place. Now shut your mouth, take him, and follow me."

Both men with loud gasps entered the chamber and picked Ivar up, each of them wrapped one of Ivar's arms around their shoulders.

The Great Hall was mostly empty, only Hvitserk and two thralls sat around the fireplace playing with little Vali.

You didn't miss the odd looks they gave you once they noticed you entering the main chamber with two guards that carried Ivar right behind you.

They sat him down on a chair near the big table, after that guards left.

"Astrid? Would you be so kind as to stop trying to get Hvitserk's heart? I need you to prepare something to eat for my guest," you said, giving her a flat smile.

Astrid fazed a little but obeyed your command. "Whatever you say, my lady."

Hvitserk looked above his shoulder, his glance immediately went to Ivar. "We were informed you were dead."

Youngest Ragnarsson scoffed. "You wish."

Hvitserk jolted up, and with few large steps he approached the chair Ivar sat on. "What's wrong with you? Don't expect us to be happy with your sudden resurrection after all you had done to us all."

You took Vali from the other thrall, and ordered her to help Astrid with food.

Boy was more than happy to see his mother, he giggled and nuzzled to your chest.

"Hvitserk is right. You did so much bad that I should simply give you to my people and let them decide what to do with you but I am better than this," you muttered, holding the baby close as you walked closer to older Ragnarsson.

Hvitserk offered you a particular glance of his; his eyebrow cocked high, his lips pressed together so they were just a thin line. He looked at the boy you held in arms and then back at you.

Ivar listened to your words but he remained silent.

Vali watched the stranger with his curious blue eyes. "Ma?," the boy cooed and pointed at Ivar.

You chuckled, looking down at your baby. Of course, curiosity was stronger than fear. "Yes, I know."

Ivar cringed inside. The last thing he needed was to deal with the child. He turned his head around to avoid the piercing glance of those blue eyes. If he felt better, he would simply twist his brother's neck for impregnating you.

You asked one thrall to take the boy away and keep him safe. Vali didn't look happy, looking at you over the woman's shoulder.

When they both were gone, you looked at Ivar. "Ivar, talk to us. What even happened? We got a message from Kattegat that you died in England."

"I partly did," he growled deeply, not bothering himself to look at you or Hvitserk.

His older brother after a moment of silence smashed his fist against the table. "Fuck, Ivar, stop being all offended! And reply to questions! We do not have an entire day, and Y/N has her duties, too!"

"Oh, she for sure has," Ivar mocked. "You have a beautiful son," he claimed out of sudden, his steel blue eyes fixed on your face.

Oh if he only knew.

"I know I do and he needs his mother's attention. I am still the Earl, so your brother is right, I have duties, Ivar," you answered, looking him right in the eyes without any hint of fear.

Ivar let out a sharp breath and rubbed his forehead. He felt highly uncomfortable around you and Hvitserk. "I have nothing more to say. I know that you, my dear brother, would happily dance on my grave, but as you can see, I somehow survived," Ivar snapped, looking directly at Hvitserk.

“Stop it. I fucking moured you, you fucking idiot," Hvitserk grabbed Ivar by collar of his tunica. "I am not a heartless monster like you."

You grabbed Hvitserk's shoulder in an attempt of calming him down. "Hvitserk, calm down, please. We both mourned you, Ivar. You have no idea in what state he was for months because his youngest brother was gone. This shocked him to the core, it was hard for him to return to everyday life."

"This is why he decided to get into your panties?," Ivar replied viciously, a sadness in his tone. "How long did it last? While we were a thing?," Ivar grunted. "I would never think you and he would have a baby together."

Hvitserk laughed. "Unbelievable."

You blinked looking at Ivar with a clear shock and surprise in your eyes. "E-Excuse me..." Did he think the baby was yours and Hvitserk’s? Apparently he did and it was the most ridiculous thing you had ever heard in your entire life. You tried your best to keep a straight face but a short laugh left your lips. "First of all, you said it yourself that we never were together, and second, Vali isn't Hvitserk's child, I never slept with him. He was a wonderful friend and father figure but nothing beyond that."

Ivar now felt stupid for accusing you of sleeping with his brother. "You two seem close. I just thought..."

"Even if we were a thing with Y/N, it would not be any matter of yours," Hvitserk reminded coldly. "So you know, I didn't sleep with her."

"We are close but like I said. He was a wonderful help since we got here but we even have two different rooms. Hvitserk is too busy charming the female half of the settlement," you said, and laughed some more.

Ivar wanted to complain some more but a bowl with soup was placed in front of him by Astrid.

Woman shivered when he threw her a glance.

"Thank you," he replied and started eating.

"Keep an eye on him. Make sure he eats and drinks. Find him some new clothes. Girls will help with the bath," you said, patting Hvitserk's shoulder. "I need to go on training grounds. I can already tell it will be hard, they aren't too happy with our visitor."

Ivar spent another three months on healing his wounds, and he happened to have a lot of those.

People got used to his presence among them, yet they still weren't keen on any interactions with him, which resulted in him lurking alone throughout the paths, being talked about and pointed with fingers and piercing glances.

That particular day he went outside, to sit on a huge meadow, he had to gather all the thoughts that were floating within his mind.

How huge was his surprise when he spotted Astrid with Earl's son. They were picking flowers.

"Your mother will love those. They will nicely decorate your shared room," Astrid hummed picking a flower, and showing it to the little boy what earned her a big smile from him.

Vali himself picked a few flowers, and gently put them in the basket set on the ground.

Astrid shivered feeling someone's eyes on them. She loved such little trips but they were stressful. Earl would go mad if anything happened to her only child. Woman raised her head and looked at Ivar before giving him a little nod as a greeting.

Ivar offered her a nod in reply, and continued observing them from a distance. The boy seemed cute and eager to learn about the world. Ivar sighed; he would want to have a child one day but he knew it was impossible.

Astrid returned to picking the flowers.

Soon, the boy was bored with that activity; the stranger was much more interesting.

At some point Astrid was accosted by some other thrall as they started talking. Before she even noticed, Vali walked away to finally get a closer look at the stranger.

Ivar was busy with playing with the tape of his black tunica. He felt uncomfortable as he felt a piercing glance on his features. He raised head up and noticed the boy standing right in front of him.

Boy watched Ivar carefully, and then decided to sit right next to him. He looked up and smiled. "Hi. Flower," Vali said, showing the flower to Ivar proudly.

Ivar cringed at first but his heart melted instantly when the boy handled the freshly picked up flower to him. Ivar took it gently between his fingers and gave the boy a smile. n"Flower. Do you like flowers?"

Boy nodded with a huge smile on his mouth. "You?," Vali asked, pointing at him.

Ivar was completely taken aback by the question boy dropped. "I like them, too," he replied in his usual soft tone. "Where are you mom?"

Boy blinked few times before pointing at the direction of Great Hall. "There," he said, and his attention went to Ivar's braided hair. "Pretty," Vali giggled, and tried to reach them.

Ivar at first tried to move back; he wasn't used to the children being around him, fascinated by the way he looked. After considering the situation, and taking no one could see him being so vulnerable, he leaned forward and turned head aside. It resulted with his braids to fall loose to the side, so the boy could touch them.

Boy gaped excitedly, and gently took the braids into his hubby hands. "Soft! Pretty!,” he giggled, and gently pulled on the to see what would happen.

Ivar laughed. "Gently, like you would pet the dog or kitten," he instructed, and tapped the boy's hand softly.

Boy nodded, and started to gently play with his hair. After he was done Vali pulled away from him to find a new point of interest. Soon he got interested in weird things on Ivar's legs.

Ivar wasn't sure what to do. He hated his lower limbs, but the boy was seemingly interested in leg braces and crutch that was leant next to them. "I'm a cripple," he told the boy though he knew he wouldn’t understand a word. "They don't work," Ivar pointed at his legs.

Boy looked at him confused, and gently touched the braces as if he was again touching his hair. "Hurt? Sad?," Vali asked curiously.

You were scared the first moment you saw that Astrid was busy with gossiping, and Vali was gone but you calmed down as you saw him. Vali was interacting with his father, even if the little boy didn't know that. Instead of stepping in, you decided to observe them.

"Sad, hurt," Ivar replied and made a sad face. "Be happy. Your legs are nice. Chubby and wobbly still but you'll grow into a strong man," Ivar ruffled boy's dark hair.

Boy laughed at his action but didn't like the fact that his new friend wasn't happy. Vali was quiet for a moment before kissing braces on Ivar’s legs, and then got up to hug Ivar. Just like his mom always did when he got hurt. "No hurt."

You smiled, biting your lips. This was something you never expected to see.

Ivar paled. His brain stuttered for a moment and his eyes took in more light than expected, every part of him went on pause while his thoughts catched up. Never before had Ivar noticed how time is so much like water; that it can pass slowly, a drop at a time, even freeze, or rush by in a blink. "Thank you, I feel healed," Ivar replied softly and simply put hands on both sides of the boy to pick him up and sat on his lap. "Comfy?"

Boy nuzzled into him, getting comfortable on his lap and nodded with a short yawn. "Yes. Soft."

Ivar let him rest his side against Ivar's chest. He also yawned. "If you want, nap. I'll keep an eye on you."

Vali nodded, closing his eyes.

You decided to get Astrid's attention pointing out that your son is gone. Poor girl freaked out but you quickly calmed her down, and then sent her back to Great Hall with your shield and ax. After that you approached Ivar. "Comfortable you two?," You whispered.

Ivar looked at you and nodded, putting his fingers to lips. "Shhh. You don't want to wake this little warrior up."

"No I don't. He gets fussy," you nodded and sat next to Ivar. "Ivar the Boneless and child. That's something new."

"I know, right?," He whispered and wrapped arm around the boy to shield him from rolling off his lap.

You smiled softly looking at this sweet little sight. "Ivar. Can I ask you something?"

He shrugged slightly. "Yes."

"Do you know that a wolf has one mate? One mate for whole life?,” You whispered, looking at him.

"I do, mother taught me and my brothers about that," he replied. "Why? Do you have wolves threatening the settlement?"

You chuckled and shook your head. "Back in York I picked my mate. Man I wanted to spend my life with. Stay by his side no matter what, and it was you,"

"I remember," he replied and started cringing inside. All he needed was you to recall the relationship you two shared.

"You know that since you made me leave Kattegat, I haven't slept with anyone," you said looking down at Vali that was already sleeping in his arms. "You were and still are the only one that slept with me before Vali was born."

"Bishop called it the virgin birth. So, as I assume, you're holy? Or should be considered like one," Ivar blinked, looking at you.

"Ivar I am not a virgin for years. Vali is your son, I found out I am pregnant two months after my return from Kattegat," you announced with a frown. "No virgin birth, no any other man. Just your seed that filled me for months."

Ivar grimaced. "I'm sorry to break it up to you, sweetheart, but I'm a cripple and I can't have children," he whispered loudly.

"Yeah, and you brothers claimed that before England you couldn't fuck a thrall," you raised your eyebrow. "And there you were. Taking me whenever you wanted, however you wanted."

Ivar was about to complain but he went quiet. You were right; his brothers were repeating that he couldn't ever have possessed a woman, yet he did. Which led to the obvious conclusion he could have impregnated you.

You gave him a little smile. "He is your son. This is Vali Ivarsson, son of famous and fierce Ivar the Boneless."

Ivar wanted to pick the boy up and take a closer look but he didn't have a heart to wake this little bundle of happiness. "You mean it?..."

"I swear on my name, reputation and Gods themselves that I mean it," you nodded. "Since our meeting in York till this day, there was no one else in my bed.”

He nodded and went quiet again. It wasn't the news he ever expected to hear. "I'll be visiting him, if you agree but I want Hvitserk to be his father's role. I don't want him to know about me being his father," he said coldly.

"No, Ivar. I won't agree on this, there is nothing he should be ashamed of," shaking your head, you touched his shoulder. "I want you to be here. With me, and with your son."

"No," he replied and shifted slightly in his place, trying to get as far from your touch as possible. "Look at me. I'm a wreck. I always thought that trust must come before love, yet it is not so, for love and trust can arrive at the same moment. When love is given in this way, immediate, no explanations, the trust arrives too. But I broke both your love and trust years ago by sending you out. I shouldn't have done that but I did, and nothing can explain the decision I made back then. Trusts were broken, lies were told. I used you, I did, just to get thing so elusive and unsustainable that I didn't have a chance to rejoice my position as a king for I won it by rage, not by love of the people." He drew a sharp breath and stared at the boy. "I am a cripple. I won't be able to run with him, to show him how to swim, how to sail, how to hunt, how to be a real man. He deserves a good life, better life than I can provide him."

"Ivar," You whispered, moving closer to him. "Things you say are true. You did a lot of evil, and you already paid for it. Gods brought you back to me. Despite everything that happened, for years I hoped you would come back, and you did. We don't know the ways of Gods, maybe you being here is a sign," you looked at Vali and smiled. "Ivar, he won't care about this. He will need his father, the real one, and I know he'll love you the way you are."

He let out a sigh. "I promise to be a good dad to him. I'll do my best but I am scared of failure."

"You won't fail my love. I will be here as well. He is our son and we both will take care of him, and each other," you assured. "I am more worried he will be ashamed of a mother that isn't as beautiful as all the other women... Because of scars on my face."

"And who says it?," Ivar couldn't help but let out a chuckle, pointing on a large scar on his right cheek.

“What is one scare when it comes to my face Ivar," You rolled your eyes, and looked at him, placing your head on his shoulder. "Ivar?"

"So you're not only one that is scared. And you're beautiful. You should know that." When you placed your head on his shoulder, he froze but soon a smile appeared on his lips. "Mmm?"

"I missed you... In every possible way," you wanted to add more but a tiny voice got your attention.

"Mama," Vali said, raising his arms to you. You giggled, and picked the boy up. Boy yawned and looked at you and Ivar with his big blue eyes.

Only then Ivar believed fully; he recognised his own eyes in those of the boy. "I missed you, too... Mommy," Ivar of course had to get on your nerves.

You pointed at Ivar. "This funny man is your father, Vali."

Boy blinked and looked at Ivar. "Papa?"

He offered a slight nod to the boy. "I am, Vali." His son's name spoke loudly, sounded so strangely in his tone but he smiled. "I am."

"Papa!," Boy said happily, and reached for him. You giggled and returned the boy to his father. Vali grabbed his cheek and patted them gently. "Squishy!”

Ivar couldn't stop himself from grinning widely. "Squishy. But you know what's more squishy?" After these words he poked the boy's side. "This. And this," Ivar added while squeezing the boy's cheek.

Boy laughed loudly, and hugged Ivar as tightly as his little arms let him.

You smiled, filling how tears started to fill your eyes. In the end, Ivar rested his forehead against the boy's, they were touching with noses, too. "I love you," Ragnarsson claimed. "I'll never let anything bad happen to you or your mom..."

"Maybe we should get back to the Great Hall? I am sure Hvitserk is worried about us all," you suggested looking at your boys.

"I wish I could give you a piggyback but it would be hard with me using crutch."

"I think he will prefer a chariot rides once he gets a little older," you said, and picked the boy up before helping Ivar get up.

"Hungry!," Vali said loudly.

Sighing, you looked at Ivar. "I think this runs in the family."

Ivar shrugged, and followed you slowly. Today the pain of his legs was almost unbearable, so it took him longer to walk than usual. "Go, go, I'll catch you at the place," he assured.

You frowned and walked closer to him to cup his cheek. "Ivar... Your eyes... I will get you a healer as soon as we get back inside. Maybe she will be able to help you," with the boy in your arms you decided to slow down to not leave Ivar behind.

He had to stop after some time. Ivar gave you a flat smile. "Please. Go back to the house with him, I'll be right back. Don't worry about me. It's nothing, but he's hungry and I don't want to slow you down. Please?"

"Since you are so sure. We will wait at you," you gave him a sad smile and walked away. Vali looked over your shoulder confused of why Ivar stayed behind.

It took him another several minutes to get at the edge of the meadow. The sight was beautiful; your settlement in its full potential. Ivar stood motionless for a longer moment, considering everything that had happened before. He learnt he was a father, that he had a son, the most beautiful and handsome baby boy he had ever seen. He learnt you still had feelings for him; just as he had. He learnt you had given him another chance. A tear streamed down his scared cheek. Then another one and another. "Odin, I don't deserve all the magnificent things you're blessing me with," he whined quietly. "I prayed for death, not for a new life." When he felt his heart rate returned to normal, he continued his way down the hill.

His legs didn't work properly that day, so it resulted in him falling a few times. Thankfully, he didn't break any bone.

While your thralls tried their best to feed the fussy boy, you stood in the big door. Biting your nail nervously you waited at Ivar. Something was wrong, you could remember the stories Hvitserk told you about Ivar and his eyes. You prayed for him to get back safely.

Soon, Ivar reached the Great Hall. He smiled when he spotted you in the door; apparently you've been waiting for him... "Sorry for being late," he excused himself. "Where's Vali?"

"Girls try to feed him. I think he was also waiting for you," you whispered, and looked over your shoulder. "I wanted to be sure that you got here in one piece."

"So here I am," he faked a perfect smile. "May I?," He asked before he stepped inside.

You nodded. "This is your home now, Ivar. Of course you can."

"Papa!," Vali said happily, seeing Ivar. Just then he started to eat like a good boy.

Ivar looked at the thralls who gave him scared glances. "You're doing a good job, girls, don't mind me sitting close." He took a seat at the chair, slowly and carefully to not hurt himself anymore. He observed his son.

You placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure you are okay, Ivar? I can tell something is wrong." You sent thralls away by waving hand at them, and sat down close to him with the boy on your laps so you can continue to feed him.

"I am sure," he assured and touched his son's cheek. "Be a good boy, listen to your mom. You need to eat to become a strong warrior."

Boy nodded, looking at Ivar.

"And you were worried you'll be a bad father. He already loves you," you whispered into Ivar's ear.

He smiled and blushed a little at a comment.

When Vali was done with his meal, he reached hand towards Ivar so you passed the boy to his father.

Ivar placed the boy on his lap. "Missed me, little warrior?," Ivar asked softly, tapping the boy's cheek.

"Yes! Much much!,” Vali nodded eagerly, nuzzling to Ivar.

"He never was that clingy to any other people, he always prefered me. Even when it comes to Hvitserk," you explained happily that Vali accepted Ivar so easily.

"Don't be surprised. He senses who is his dad after all, I bet. And, come on, we have so much in common, don't we, little one? Both brave. Both love you," Ivar pointed at Earl. "And both handsome. It attracts us to one another."

You couldn't help but laugh, and agree with Ivar. Your son had a father and Ivar was back at your side.

After spending more time with his father, Vali became sleepy so you took him to your room. When you returned, Ivar was sitting in front of a fireplace, looking into flames.

You walked to him and gently kissed his temple before sitting down right next to him. "We are alone for tonight. I am sure he will sleep the whole night. How do you feel, Ivar?”

"I hope he'll sleep calmly," Ivar replied softly and gave you a look. "Thank you for the kiss though..."

You laughed softly. "Ivar, no need to thank me,"

"Of course I need to thank you."

Shaking your head you got comfortable in your seat. "Was I really that bad? So bad you had to send me away? After all promises and our plans?"

"No...," He replied. "I was deluded."

Nodding slowly, you looked at him. "So... You didn't mean the words you said back then. Everything we ever did together, wasn't just your way of making sure I stay and fight for you?"

"You know I love you, and loved you back then... I was deluded... I was told I'm a god which was a lie. I thought I am someone that doesn't need anyone to rule... I grieved."

"It was hard for me too, you have no idea how hard it was," You said and took his hand. "I missed you every day, even if I used to live without you."

"I hated myself for what I've done. I raided England because I hoped for death."

"Then I am really happy death didn't come for you," you squeezed his hand. "Because Gods brought you here, back to me, and to your son."

"I would never say I'll have a child. Such a beautiful son... With such a woman..."

"We never know the ways of Gods, love. Maybe this all had to happen."

Ivar thought for a bit. "Can I kiss you?"

You smiled and got up from your seat to place yourself on his laps, of course making sure to not put too much weight on his legs. Cupping his cheek, you kissed him deeply.

He instantly wrapped arms around your waist, pulling you close and kissing you deeply, humming in enjoyment.

You pulled away, breaking the kiss as you ran out of the air. Your forehead rested against his. "Will you be my husband? I don't want to lose you ever again."

He stopped breathing. He didn't even realize he had been holding breath in. "Did you just...?"

You simply nodded. "I want you to be my husband. To stay here with me and our son. I want us to rule together. I want our family to grow bigger."

Instead replying, he kissed you deeply.

#ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #hvitserk x reader #hvitserk #vikings #vikings x reader #reader insert #writers on tumblr #ivar x hvitserk #earl!reader

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lpham2525 · 4 years

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Shirou x Reader Coldest Night of the Year (Long Version)

Shirou awakens in the night to feel tremors coming from next to him. Opening one eye, he sees you shivering on the bed. Damn, he forgot that humans did not have a fur coat like he did. Both of you were under two blankets already, but it didn’t seem like enough. Shirou gets up to retrieve another blanket for you, but then he realizes that all of the other blankets were already taken. The coldest night of the year; he wasn’t going to deprive anyone of anything. He decides to make tea instead. When he returns to the room with the steaming teacups, an idea occurs to him.

His half of the blankets wasn’t being used. Shirou didn’t need it. The wolf man sets down the tea and picks up the edge of the blankets. Then, working carefully, he throws it over you, doubling up the folds and tucking in the corners. He waits and watches, but you’re still shivering. Finally, he places a hand on your shoulder and calls out your name.

“Hmmm?” you say groggily. “Shirou?”

“You’re shivering.”

“What? Oh, no. I’m…I’m fine.” You pat his hand to reassure him, but as soon as he feels your fingers, he pulls your hand towards him and clasps it between his palms.

“Don’t lie to me. Your hand feels like a sheet of ice.” Shirou sighs. “You can’t sleep like this. Worse, you might catch cold or pneumonia and then I would be…very displeased.” He gestures towards the teacups. “I made you tea. Drink some.”

You glance over at the nightstand, surprised to see two porcelain cups there. He even poured them into the special teacups, the ones with the Silver Wolf painted on them that you gave him for his birthday. You glance over at Shirou. He really was a considerate creature, despite his tough exterior. Gratefully, you reach for the tea, but your hands are shaking so badly that the teacups are rattling against their saucers. In an instant, you see Shirou kneeling beside you. He picks up a teacup and instructs you to sit up so he can help you drink it.

“I’m not an invalid,” you say, mock defiantly. “I can handle a cup of tea.”

“Your hands are shaking. I want the tea in your system, not in your lap.” You playfully swat at him, but he coolly dodges your fingers. His expression softens. “Just let me help you,” he states quietly.

Obediently, you sit up and he lifts the teacup gently so you can drink. It’s a warm, rich tea, perfect for nights like this. Once you drink the whole cup, he sets it down and picks up the other one, bringing it towards your lips. You glare at him, but he stares back, unflinching. He knows you’ll give in. And you do. Once you finish the second cup, Shirou lifts your hand into his. Your shivering has subsided somewhat, but your skin still feels like a skating rink for the cold. The wolf man frowns.

“You’re still cold.”

“Yes, but I’m better now. I’m warmer.”

“Not as warm as I would like.” He presses your hand to his face and his nose twitches as he thinks for a moment.

“Shirou.”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t seem cold at all.”

“I’m a beastman,” he says, without opening his eyes. “I have a—” He breaks off suddenly. “I have an idea. Get back under the covers,” he orders.

You obey, then watch as he moves to the other side of the bed and slips in beside you.

“Come here,” he instructs, reaching out and pulling you toward him. You gladly scoot closer to him and by the time you make contact, you’re nestled against a soft mane of white fur. The fur tickles, but hey, it’s warm. You pull back to give him a kiss on the nose, but he misinterprets the gesture and suddenly stiffens.

“I’m sorry. I should have asked you first,” he blurts quickly. His voice is tense, nervous.

“What do you mean?”

Shirou glances away. “Not everyone is comfortable around a beastman. Especially a wolf. If my beast form bothers you, I can change back—”

“What makes you think I’m uncomfortable?”

Shirou’s ears perk up and he dares to look at you. Finally, he sighs. “When you touched my fur, you moved away. You probably weren’t expecting me to morph—”

He’s interrupted by your fingers, which have now laced themselves through his thick fur and pulled his face toward you. You plant a soft kiss on his nose. He stiffens again, then visibly relaxes beside you.

“I was going to kiss you, you dolt.”

“Oh,” he whines softly.

You release him and roll your eyes. “But not everyone is comfortable around a human. Especially an affectionate one. If my human form bothers you, I can change…oh, wait, I can’t.”

The wolf man emits a strange sound, something like a cross between a bark and a yelp. You glance at him and are surprised to see his body shaking. However, it did not seem to be from cold. Perhaps from…mirth? Was this his way of laughing?

“Humans have a sense of humor,” he chuckles.

“Of course we do,” you retort, crossing your arms. “We’re not all bloodthirsty killers.”

“Forgive me. I don’t have many…positive experiences with them.”

“You should get to know them better.”

“I will.” Shirou shifts in bed. “BUT...right now, I’m especially interested in this one.” Here, he reaches for your hands again and digs them into his fur. You need no explanation. The next few minutes pass in quiet bliss as you stroke Shirou’s fur and tickle his neck. The spell is only broken when Shirou whispers your name.

You open your eyes to find that Shirou is looking at you with no small expression of wonder. “You’re really okay with my beast form.”

You sigh and pull him towards you again. Then you tilt forward until your foreheads are touching. “Shirou. I’m not only okay with your beast form. I love your beast form. And your human form. I love you no matter what form you’re in. You could be a lump of coal and I’d still—”

You feel Shirou freeze under your fingers. Then you realize that it’s the first time you’ve said those words out loud.

You want to smack yourself for your impulsiveness. I said it too soon, you realize with a sinking heart. Maybe he won’t notice? You think desperately. But it was too late. The words were said. The secret was out. Not that it was much of a secret. Michiru had been hounding you for days to fess up. Even Melissa and Gem grinned at each other whenever they saw you around Shirou. It was probably obvious to everyone but him. Well, now it’s not an open secret anymore. Now he knows.

Feeling self-conscious, you slowly remove your fingers from his fur and clamp them between your knees. You’re hoping to subtly slide away and pretend to be asleep. The wolf god was not fooled.

“Y/N,” he says quietly. You don’t respond. After a moment, you feel gentle claws slide down your arms and lift your hands out from under the covers. “If you think I’m going to let you slip away after that, you’re sorely mistaken.”

You open your eyes to see Shirou staring at you intensely. You know that you can’t wriggle your way out of this one.

“I didn’t mean to say it,” you state miserably, attempting to keep your voice steady. Shirou’s grip loosens, but he doesn’t let go completely. A long moment of silence passes.

“So you didn’t mean it,” Shirou says finally.

“No, I did mean it. I meant every word. I just didn’t mean to say it…so soon.”

“Why do you think it’s too soon?”

“Because…because we’re just starting out. And we’re taking it slow. And maybe you don’t feel the same way and I just ruined everything.”

Shirou kisses your forehead and envelopes you in a furry embrace. “If you think that what you said was going to ruin everything, then I don’t ever want you to stop. If you think that we’re just starting out and going too slow and your emotions are far ahead, then please destroy me at your leisure. Surely, this is a dream I’m having and when I wake, you will be gone and I will have nothing more than the elated aftertaste of the dream and the bitterness of you missing from beside me. But, for now, ruin me. I would love nothing more than to be utterly devastated by your words of confession.”

You take a deep breath. Maybe this was all a dream. In that case, you can be as free in your emotions as you want. So you sidle even closer to him and tangle yourself into his fur. Then you pour your heart out. “Shirou, my wild heart and shining soul, you cannot begin to fathom the extent of my feelings for you. It runs through my blood and warms my soul. It also makes me worry. And fear for you. I am thrown into panic whenever you are in danger, even if you are immortal, and I am flooded with relief when I am sure you are safe. You can reduce me to nothing with the lightest touch, the merest glance, the softest word, the tiniest gesture. Yet you also make me feel strong and electric and alive. How much do I love you? I love you to the deepest chambers of my heart and the weight of it is so much that my heart can hardly bear it. I long for your presence so achingly that I can barely keep myself together when you’re not around. You make me tremble and you make me still. You make me think of the future and you render me unable to think at all. If I loved you any more, I think I would dissolve altogether because my body could not longer contain it all. If I loved you any less, I would cease to exist because my love for you has become intertwined with the very essence of my being and I would unravel. I love you even more than these pathetic, futile words can express, but for now, this is all I have to offer you so I hope it is enough.”

You stop because you feel something wet trickle down your face. But…I’m not crying, am I? you think. Then you realize that the tears are not coming from you.

“Shirou!” you exclaim, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”

Shirou doesn’t bother wiping his tears. “Nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. How can anything be wrong right now?”

“Then why are you crying?”

“It’s just…I never imagined…” Shirou clears his throat, but when he speaks, his voice is still choked with emotion. “I find being thoroughly loved to be…thoroughly moving.”

“Well, you better get used to it,” you say. “Because I’m going to thoroughly love you every day.”

You both drift off to sleep like this. As sleep slowly overtakes you, an old poem comes to your mind, but your muddled brain scrambles it slightly:

“The cold is lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have my lover’s warmth to keep,

And Shirou to hold me while I sleep,

And Shirou to hold me while I sleep.” *** ***Author’s Note: For those of you who are unfamiliar, the last four lines are inspired by Robert Frost’s “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” from The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1923, © 1969 by Henry Holt and Company, Inc., renewed 1951, by Robert Frost.

#shirou x reader #shirou ogami #bna

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imagineteamfreewill · 4 years

Text

Here’s to Witches

Title: Here’s to Witches

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 1,331

Warnings: None

Summary: Sam and the reader are each gifted something after saving a group of housewives on a hunt, and Sam’s gift is exponentially more... enthusiastic than the reader’s.

A/N: This is completely unedited, so please excuse any mistakes. If you see any glaring ones, please feel free to (politely) send me an ask or a message so I can go in and fix it. The gifs that inspired this fic can be found at the end because I thought they were too cute to not include. Also, feedback makes the world go round and makes my blog a lot more enjoyable for everyone! Please reblog this fic with your thoughts or send me an ask or a message to tell me what you think. Enjoy!

_______________

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happy,” you said as you leaned against the dresser. The knobs dug into the small of your back and your shoulders but you ignored them as Sam looked up at you with a wide smile.

“I just can’t believe this is real,” he replied.

Bones jumped up on his hind legs, pushing himself slightly off the floor as he tried to regain Sam’s full attention. He succeeded and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way Sam raised the pitch of his voice to talk to his new—or rather, old—furry friend.

“You know, when the witch said she’d brought back someone dear to your heart, I figured we’d come back to the motel to find Bobby or something.”

Sam glanced up at you again, his smile undimmed. “I didn’t think it would be Bones either, but honestly…”

Smiling, you moved away from the dresser to see if your phone had regained some battery. It had died on the way back from the abandoned winery where the coven had been holding its meetings. Thankfully, you hadn’t needed it to call for help. The coven was more domestic than anything you’d ever encountered on a hunt; the witches mostly used their magic to bring dead houseplants back to life, get the smell out of laundry they’d forgotten in the washer, and thaw meat that they’d taken out of the freezer an hour or two too late. You’d been in the midst of trying to figure out how to ask them to stick with what they knew when the real troublemakers had shown up, figurative guns blazing, in an attempt to harm the housewives who were in almost too deep.

You and Sam had eradicated the bad witches with relative ease and the handful of women had been so grateful to you that they’d put their collective energies together to give you each a gift. They’d given you something you’d thought long gone—a box of photos from your childhood—and they’d promised Sam something “dear to his heart”.

After unlocking your phone, you quietly placed an order for a few pizzas, knowing that Sam was probably starving after the busy day you’d had. You were about to press the submit button when something bumped against your leg.

“I think he likes you,” Sam said, and you looked down to find Bones sitting at your feet. He was giving you a heart-warming doggy smile and his tail was going a mile a minute. It was almost comical how hard he was trying to sit despite the fact that his butt was wiggling right along with his tail.

You chuckled and crouched down to run your hand over Bones’ back. “Hey buddy! Are you hungry too? Is that why you came over here?” you cooed. Your voice jumped up an octave, just like Sam’s had, but Bones responded quickly and was up in your face as he tried to get as much of your attention and touch as possible.

Sam laughed too, standing up and stretching his arms above his head while he watched. He was clearly enjoying having Bones around and in the back of your mind, you sent up a silent prayer that this wasn’t a temporary thing. If Bones was ripped away from him, it would be a heartbreaking loss. Sam had already suffered so much and you wanted to ensure as much as you could that when he wasn’t on a hunt, he was happy and comfortable.

“You want some pepperoni, Bones? Huh?”

The dog yipped in response and you grinned, then stood. You quickly placed the order on your phone while Bones tried to get more attention from Sam.

“Pizza should be here in about an hour,” you said, and Sam nodded. “So what do we do now? Think Dean’ll be okay with Bones being at the bunker? And in the Impala, for that matter?”

Sam shrugged. Bones was standing on the bed now so that Sam could pet him without having to sit down or bend over.

“Okay, well maybe we should pick up supplies before we get back,” you suggested. “That way, Dean can’t say it would be easy to get rid of him. And we should probably make an appointment with the vet in town, too…”

You pulled out your phone again, but as you were starting to research the veterinarian offices in Lebanon, you felt Sam’s eyes on you. Slowly, you glanced up from your phone and met his gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered, shaking his head with a smile. “I’m just happy.”

“Okay… Weirdo.” You went back to the website. After another minute or two, you still felt Sam’s eyes on you and you sighed, dropping your hand down to your side so you could fully look at him. “What? Why are you staring at me, Sam?” The question came out with a laugh and Sam’s smile widened.

“I don’t know. I’m just… happy. I’m happy that you’re okay with this,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You love him and I think having a dog would be great.”

"Well I knew you liked dogs, but the last time we talked about getting one, you said that you didn’t think it would be a great idea. What changed?”

Shrugging, you tucked your phone in your pocket and went over to them, making sure to start petting Bones immediately so you wouldn’t get licked in the face again. You pointedly avoided making eye contact with Sam, instead focusing on the retriever who was practically vibrating with happiness at all the attention he was getting from the two of you.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you answered. “I guess it’s because I don’t want you to have to give him up, you know? I like to see you happy, and Bones makes you happy. He makes me happy, too,” you added, knowing that Sam would call you out on it if you didn’t.

Sam hummed in response, and the two of you continued to pet Bones in silence, only occasionally laughing or talking to the dog when it felt right.

An hour later, you were setting up the pizza while Sam took Bones outside for a break. The dog had come with his own collar—thank you, witches!—but he’d had to find a rope in the trunk of the Impala to use as a leash.

“It smells good!” Sam said as he opened the door and stepped inside. You glanced over at him with a smile, then laughed when you saw Bones pulling at the makeshift leash to get nearer to the table. When Sam dropped it, he made a beeline for the pizzas and you had to quickly shove him back down onto all four legs so that your dinner didn’t come with a side of dog hair.

“Whoa, buddy! Easy, calm down! You’ll get your dinner soon enough!”

Sam was grinning from ear to ear and you grinned back, feeling the contagious joy bubble up inside of you.

“Pepperoni?” he asked, and you nodded, grabbing the little container full of slices they’d included and holding it out for him. Bones tracked the movement intently and you laughed again as Sam grabbed it and pulled off the lid.

Instantly, Bones was sitting down, his tail wagging as he stared up at Sam.

“Well, at least he knows to sit,” you laughed. Sam laughed too, and soon the three of you were chowing down on your respective dinners.

We’re like a little family, you thought as you settled down beside Sam against the headboard. You’d both torn the top of the pizza boxes off so that the box was easier to hold in your lap, and he’d turned on a mindless movie while you’d made sure Bones had water.

“Here’s to happy endings,” Sam said, holding out his beer.

You clinked yours against it with a smile, then a quiet chuckle. “And here’s to witches, which is something I’d never thought I’d say!”

(Gifs are by @frodo-sam can be found here. I couldn’t find them in the tumblr gif search or I would have included them that way, sorry!)

_______________

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125 notes · View notes

asmo-ds · 4 years

Note

(1) satan has been feeling a bit down lately because he really wants a cat but he knows that lucifer won't allow the cat inside. mc knows how satan feels about cats so as a christmas present they take him to volunteer in an animal shelter and more specifically one that's for cats.

The Purrfect Gift *HOLIDAY SPECIAL*

Satan x gn!MC Fluff

Word Count: 1517~

Summary: Knowing Lucifer would never allow them to bring a cat into the house, MC decides to bring Satan to an animal rescue shelter to keep the kittens’ company on the cold winter holiday, and despite entering the shelter with only two House of Lamentation residents, they leave with three.

“Please, Lucifer! I just know he’d love it and he’s a grown-up he’s responsible enough to have at LEAST one-”

“MC, for the last time, the way Satan’s mind works is if he is allowed to have one cat he’s allowed to have twelve more. It happens every time I’ve ever said yes to giving him a cat.” The first-born shakes his head and MC can see the vein on his forehead popping out from frustration.

“Well, what the hell else could I get him?! He’s got every book anybody could ever want, he has all the detective movies and games I’ve ever seen, he just doesn’t exactly give me very many options…” MC rants, muttering towards the end.

“Just take him to a cat café or animal shelter or something. I really couldn’t care less, MC,” Lucifer growls, a dark aura of frustration and annoyance surrounding him as he scribbles his signature onto papers with more and more aggression by the second.

“AN ANIMAL SHELTER! THAT’S PERFECT!” MC jumps and gives Lucifer a hug, making his annoyance only grow as he yells not to touch him while they skip off into the hallway.

“C’mon! C’mon! You walk so slow, Satan,” MC tugs his sleeve like a child, making him sigh loudly.

“MC, not to be rude, but as much as I’d like to get there quickly, you have me blindfolded and walking down an icy sidewalk, if I move any faster I have no doubt I will fa-ALL” Satan explains, slipping on a patch of ice at the end of his sentence.

“Woah, careful, Satan, you have to watch your step,” MC snickers, watching his eyebrow twitch, indicating his eye had twitched along with it in annoyance. MC raises their head and looks up at the sign of the small building.

“We’re here!” MC sings letting go of their boyfriend’s hand and walking behind him to untie the blindfold. “Ta-da! We get to keep the kitties company on Christmas!”

Satan’s initial annoyance of the blindfold removal exposing him to the bright sun was quickly wiped away by the scene before him. MC opens the front door, the bell jingling above them as they step inside.

MC takes the blond’s hand and rushes to the room of cats.

“Hey kitties!” MC falls to their knees almost instantly, petting the cats that had come to see them. They look up at Satan and see his eyes sparkling as Cats pour out of cages and small hiding spots, making their way towards the pair.

“Hey Satan, they seem like they like you,” MC points out, giggling as Satan crouches next to them and lets cats crawl all over him.

“I’ve never known why, but all felines have always been so drawn to me, which is lucky considering I like them so much,” Satan softly smiles. “And I mean felines both big and small. One time Mammon won a tiger while gambling, and when he brought it in the house it tackled me and purred while nuzzling me. It was the best moment of my life.”

MC and Satan play with the cats for hours, both feeling a bit guilty that these cats had no home for the cold holiday.

While he was playing with an older cat, he heard a soft and broken meow accompanied by some soft thumping and dragging sounds. He turns around and sees a small, white kitten with only three legs attempting to reach him, but being pushed over by the numerous other cats trying to capture the demon’s attention.

Satan reaches over and picks her up, holding her and bringing her to an area of the room further from MC and the other cats.

“Hey there little girlie,” he says softly, petting the kitten gently and enjoying the vibrations of its purr. Satan plays around with the kitten and feeds it some treats before he hears the soft voice of a human, “we should probably, head home now,” MC comes towards him, only to be met with a big pout and puppy dog eyes. “No no no no NO! Lucifer made it very clear! I am not to bring home any furry friends, no matter how cute and fuzzy and lonely, and FUCK IT LETS BRING HER HOME,” MC gives into his pouting and watches it turn into a big smile.

The Avatar of wrath picks up the amputated kitten, baby talking to it the entire way to the front desk.

After some paperwork and purchasing of some essential cat stuff, MC and Satan head back to the House of Lamentation, stopping outside the front gate to make their game plan.

“So, put all of this stuff into your bag, and I’ll hold the kitten under my coat.”

MC stuffs the cat food into their backpack, alongside a few small toys they had bought. Satan unzips his coat and places the cat underneath the clothing, holding it tightly to his chest by crossing his arms underneath it to keep it up. “Be quiet kitty, okay?” He presses a finger to his lips and smiles down at the kitty.

They quickly walk towards the front door, opening it quietly and closing it softly behind them. Footsteps come down the hall, both MC and Satan giving each other a worried glance, knowing exactly who was approaching.

“MC, Satan. How was the animal shelter?” Lucifer asks with no sign of emotion.

“It was nice! I had no idea felines would be as attracted to him as he is to them.” MC giggles. Wow, they’re good at hiding things. I wonder what kind of things they did in the human world to get so good at this, Satan thinks to himself, a bit concerned about their lying skills.

“Yes. It was like a dream, having so many cats around on such a nice holiday,” Satan adds on with a mischievous smirk, “much better than any present you’ve gotten me in the past.”

“Good. Be sure to wash those clothes and shower off all the cat hair. You reek of felines,” Lucifer snarls as he walks away, obviously suspicious of the intense cat smell that his demon nose could easily pick up.

MC and Satan quickly rush to his room, going to the furthest corner to set up their new daughter and her toys.

They both watch the cat hobble around, sniffing the room and exploring as they whisper to each other. “She needs a name.”

“How about, MC JR.,” MC says confidently.

“No, she doesn’t seem like an MC, if she were an MC she’d be getting nearly killed every five minutes, yet so far there have been no fatal incidents,” Satan states, earning a big punch to the shoulder from the human.

“Okay fine, you come up with one, then!” MC looks at Satan with a playful glare.

“Fine. How about Icy, y’know since it was so icy today,” Satan suggests, earning a loud purr from the kitten in question.

“I think she likes it. Do you like being called Icy?” MC coos at Icy, receiving another purr followed by a happy meow.

“Who likes being called Icy?” a chilling voice says from behind the couple.

“Our daughter,” MC smiles, holding the kitten up to Lucifer, showing its cuteness to the annoyed man looming above them.

“I specifically told you that-” Seeing Satan’s disappointed face for even half a second gave MC the balls to stand up against Lucifer.

“NO! Satan is a grown man, and even if you’re the oldest brother and choose to look down on everyone I will NOT let you ruin this Christmas for him! I got him a cat! You will allow him to keep this cat unless you want me to give a bad essay on my time in the Devildom and go to Lord Diavolo about all of this and your stuck up attitude and pride that have no place interfering with the happiness of your brothers!” As MC finishes they notice Lucifer is in demon form, seconds away from attacking them, they flinch before their lover appears before them, gripping Lucifer’s wrist and preventing him from getting to them.

MC hears hissing from the ground and sees that even Icy is trying to stand up for her new parents.

MC takes to caring for the distressed kitten as the two men argued. They hear Lucifer give in and storm out before Satan dives down to where MC and the kitten lay, squeezing both of them tightly and lovingly.

“Fuck Lucifer,” MC grumbles making Satan laugh.

“Not literally, but yes fuck Lucifer.”

The rest of the night is spent petting and holding both MC and Icy as he truly feels serenity for the first time in centuries.

“I love you, both,” Satan mumbles, falling asleep and kissing both MC and Icy on the forehead.

“I wuv u too!” MC fakes a voice for Icy making Satan sleepily laugh before he dozes off.

“But I love you the most, Merry Christmas, Satan.” MC places a soft kiss on his cheek before falling asleep holding one tiny kitten and Satan one very large kitten.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me luficer #obey me satan #satan obey me #satan om #obey me imagines #satan obey me imagine #obey me satan imagine #obey me hc #obey me hcs #obey me fluff hc #obey me angst hc #obey me fluff #obey me x reader fluff #satan obey me fluff #obey me: one master to rule them all

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angelbytz · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP AU pt.2

Dream SMP Miraculous crossover pt.2. Read pt.1 for Tommy, Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo, Techno and Philza.

Fundy: He is really tired of getting made fun of. Everyday he gets bullied - in a loving way - and called a furry. And then he, of course, gets the fox miraculous. How ironic. Fundy decides he is not gonna be made fun of as a hero. Fennec Fox with the power of illusion is a sly, devious and mysterious character. He quickly and easily tricks most villains and does so with an air of smugness around him. If it goes the other way around and Fennec gets trapped he usually pouts until saved and gets salty after being rescued. Unfortunately, Fundy is cursed to be seen as a furry - even though every single other hero is also animal themed, there is even a cat, wolf and rabbit hero - and he gets mocked by the heroes - affectionately. He usually gets them back and plays a load of harmless pranks for fun and no other hero has successfully pranked him back. But no matter what he can’t escape his title unlike...

Niki: Everyone loves Niki. Who doesn’t? She is just too sweet and kind to not love. But sometimes people get sick of being nice and want to go apeshit, right? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that she hates being kind, she just wants to let loose and be a bit wild. So when given the axolotl miraculous (mouse) Niki saw this as an opportunity to be a little crazy. Chimera is the cutest hero with adorable feathery gills, pretty pigtails and cool costume but she doesn’t really act typically cutesy. Ba Xuyen may be the most chaotic but Chimera is the most feral. Chimera is an unhinged, demented force of nature who would not hesitate to bust through a wall, a window or a ceiling to stop Hawkmoth. She is pretty destructive but Pipistrelles power fixes everything so why not break shit? And that is Chimera’s motto. She is an unstoppable force that destroys anything in her path. Her personality is quirky, brash and energetic. She’s like a caffeinated axolotl on a sugar rush with a completely empty head and no thoughts. The other heroes know not to get in her way or question her methods with the exception of Jack’s persona (more on him in pt.4). They aren’t scared of her (aside from Maine Coon at times) because she is too bright and cheerful to be scared of, unlike...

Quackity: Lets face it, he knew he could never be a superhero. Quackity is way to recognisible because of his mysterious hair, scar and demeanor. Thankfully, in costume still hides his hair with a beanie but his eye scar and demeanor are still too noticeable. So what did Quackity do? He decided that he cannot act like himself whatsoever. He has to talk like someone else. He has to act like someone else. He has to fight like someone else. He has to be the opposite of himself. And who is the opposite of Quackity? Techno. Yep. These two idiots, completely independent of each other, pretend to be their best friend as their alter ego. Quackity gets the duck miraculous (the horse in canon) and the power to create portals. The hero known as Cayuga (have you figured out I suck at names yet?) is deadpan and threatening but at times messes up and says something only Quackity would say. Cayuga and Ba Xuyen have their own duo and become good friends. When it’s only the two of them they drop the personas and act more like themselves. They might know each others identities and they might not. The two are best friends anyways. Cayuga also has a good relationship with...

Karl: Surprise surprise, he gets the bunny miraculous that allows him to time travel. Not much is known about the hero as he is a lone wolf when it comes to his job and only drags one hero along with him at a time. When with another hero he is fast-talking, impatient and twitchy. He seems like he doesn’t have time for games and goes on many paranoid and anxious rambles. Despite all this, he is very open with the other heroes and encourages them to do the same. He has an air of experience around him and tells stories of his time traveling adventures when not fighting. Even though he loves telling stories, barely anything is known about him. The public aren’t even aware of his existence. The heroes theorised that he might know their identities. All they know is that his name is Harlequin and they mostly go on missions with Cayuga and...

Sapnap: The holder of the panda miraculous (dragon is cool but panda is cute) and the power to transform into water, air or lightning - Its probably a good thing he can’t turn into fire after ‘the incident’. In this AU, Sapnap took martial arts classes to learn self-control after ‘the incident’ and also for self-defense. (The idea for Sapnap knowing martial arts popped into my head and I ran with it.) When given the chance to be a hero Sapnap embraces the composed and temperate part of himself all while showing of his hidden combat skills. So, the hero Qinling a martial arts expert, a calm, disciplined and determined warrior but at times is pretentious and egotistical. He’d probably have a rivalry with one of the other heroes. As a civilian, good friends with...

Badboyhalo and Skeppy: The two keepers of the miraculous box. These two are the ones handing out miraculous’ like candy on Halloween and not always for great reason. Skeppy initially suggested giving the bat and cat miraculous to Wilbur and Tommy because he wanted to see how long they could go without figuring out each other identity and who would find out first. Badboyhalo on the other hand believed that their chemistry would create an unstoppable team. Every hero after that was chosen because Bad believed in them and Skeppy wanted to see them as heroes. They know all their friends’ secret identities and never reveal themselves unless the plot demands it.

Next post will feature:

Dream

George

Schlatt

Jack

Sam

Ponk

#dream smp #dsmp au #miraculous au #dsmp superhero au #dsmp miraculous #fundy #nihachu #quackity #karl jacobs #sapnap #badboyhalo #skeppy

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prongssmrrcury · 3 years

Text

a very bleak christmas

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count ( 6.2k ITS LONG SORRY)

fluff, not much smut

this turned out awfully long IM SORRY😭 having that said i hope you enjoy <33 ily mwahh

"you ready wormy?" james said, shutting his trunk and looking at his bed and around the dormitory to make sure hasnt forgotten anything. he looked over at the shorter boy with sandy coloured hair who was bending down apparently trying to get something he dropped from under the bed, but struggling a great deal. he nervously shot his head up giving james a weak smile and said "yes, im ready, i just dropped something here im not sure what-"

"just tell moony to fetch it for you while we're away" james said and peter just agreed and left the dormitory trailing after james with his trunk, shutting the door on his way. the gryffindor common room was emptier than usual, but the fireplace was lit with a couple of people huddling around it to shield themselves from the ruthless cold of december. despite this however, peoples spirits were as light as ever as almost everyone was departing for two weeks to spend christmas with their families, even lily evans stopped rolling her eyes every time james breathed, and started spending more time with him and ( to james' great delight) enjoying his company. speaking of lily, she was standing by the fireplace with her hair up in a ponytail with a furry winter cap on her head. james noticed her at once and made his way down the flight of stairs and tapped her shoulder softly, she turned around and gave him a warm smile, a short hug followed.

"happy holidays james!" she smiled so widely it watered james' eye. she called him james, not potter.

"happy holidays" he managed to respond, taken aback by the sudden affection she just showed him. she looked around furrowing her brows slightly then spoke, "wheres your trunk? have you not packed?"

"oh no i have! i left my trunk with peter to um, you know, come and say hi" he said the second part of the sentence quietly, she let out a soft laugh, god he just wanted to kiss her so bad. "wheres yours?" he asked quickly. she turned around slightly to show him her trunk which was standing behind her, tapping it twice.

"alright then, lets go down to breakfast, minnie wouldnt want us to be late" he told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the common room with him. he looked back at peter who was struggling with his own trunk and james' but peter just shot him a thumbs up as if he got everything under control.

"alright wormy, dont be late" he muttered. the pair of them walked down from the gryffindor tower to the entrance hall and right to the great hall where elaborate christmas decorations were encapsulating the place, giving the entire castle a more homey vibe. the four house tables were emptier than usual, james and lily made their way to the gryffindor table where they were met by a handsome boy with long hair that he managed to scruff in a very messy pony tail, and a taller boy sitting across him who seemed to find his buttering his toast to be a very intriguing activity. lily and james took seats next to them.

"morning" sirius spoke, looking at lily then at james.

"morning sirius, how are you" lily replied, who also began buttering her toast. sirius didnt respond right away, instead he eyed her then finally spoke, "oh im, im very good" it didnt really seem like it, sirius didnt seem to be in his loud, arrogant and flirtatious mood today, instead a rather dull and quiet one. lily looked at james silently trying to understand what had caused the sudden change in sirius behavior, she was met a mere shrug from james. the four of them sat in silence for the next ten minutes, no one breaking silence that seemed to have swallowed them. remus then looked up for the first time and sighed loudly, which made sirius look very attentively at him, waiting for him to say anything.

"im gonna go, im in the dorm if you want me pads. enjoy your holidays james, you too lily" he said lowly, also clearly in a dull mood in contrast to everyones mood right now. he got up and left, shooting them a weak smile before disappearing out of the great hall.

sirius watched him so closely even when he had gotten out of sight. it was common knowledge that the pair are in love and clearly fancied each other, almost everyone in school knew that. maybe its because of sirius' shameless attitude, cuddling with remus in the common room, sitting on his lap in the middle of the great hall, or pushing remus against a wall and just stand in front of him doing god knows what. the only problem was... neither sirius nor remus knew they liked each other. they obviously knew they had a different relationship than anyone else but they were so oblivious to the fact that theyre in love that it sometimes made james just want to scream it in their face.

"you okay pads?" james said mockingly, sirius had been staring at where remus left for at least ten minutes completely transfixed, he came back to his senses at once and looking abruptly between james and lily then back at his doughnut, fiddling with it slightly. he then shot james an alarmed look and said, "dont call me that james". he spoke so firmly, he knew james knew this is what remus calls him. no one was really allowed to use that nickname with him, even he and james who had a light hearted friendship that was basically based on jokes and pranks, sirius pronounced the words looking into james' eyes, which made james know he was being one hundred percent serious. james didnt respond, feeling a rush of guilt in his stomach, he just took a bite of his oatmeal.

"how are things with you two" james asked. sirius once again didnt respond right away but instead took time to ponder his answer.

"what do you mean how are things"

"you know, have you guys had a row or anything?" james asked, stuffing more oatmeal in his mouth.

"oh- um yea no. not really no" sirius hesitated a bit. the truth is that remus and him didnt have a row, but today was one of these occasions where sirius woke up finding himself on remus' bed not knowing how or why. it had happened a couple of times before and when it did, remus would immediately smile warmly at sirius and pamper him with kisses here and there on his cheek and his jaw. however, today, remus woke up a bit more shaky to the fact that he was in the same bed as sirius. he straightened his pyjamas quickly giving sirius an awkward smile and leaving without a word.

james dropped his oatmeal and looked at sirius looking serious for the first time, giving him a smile that carried something between sympathy and support.

"are you ever going to tell him?"

"tell him what" sirius said bluntly

james smirked. even lily suppressed a knowing look. sirius rolled his eyes.

"you guys are not onto that bullshit the whole school talks about right?" he asked cringing slightly.

"if the bullshit includes you and remus being blindly in love then yes" james gave a small laugh.

"literally blindly" lily mumbled, but sirius heard her and gave her a look.

"guys- hes my best mate"

"doing a lot of canoodling with your 'best mate' ?" james smirked rolling his eyes.

"first of all, what the fuck is canoodling james, this isnt the eighteenth century" he ppinted out the weird choice of wording.

"whatever, point is, people dont sleep on their 'best mates' chests every day padfoot" sirius opened his mouth to protest but james cut him again "just save your breath will you. im trying to help"

sirius sighed heavily burying his head in his hands and shaking it.

"i dont fucking know what to do prongs. fuck ugh i hate this so much why cant it be simpler" sirius' voice got weaker.

"mate just talk to him, remus cant read your mind. and its pretty obvious the feelings mutual" james tried to convince him.

"i dont know if hes into- you know, into me" sirius tried to explain. sirius had come out to the entire school three years ago so it was common knowledge that was gay.

"oh he is" lily said

sirius blinked.

"i mean, i spend a lot of time with him in our prefects meetings and in the library and stuff" she explained. sirius blinked again.

"i mean" she began again, "he talks about you an awful lot and seems to be quite fond of you" she smiled.

"look, you'll never know if you dont ask" james said again. "look at me, i had to ask lily out at least fifteen times-"

"james what the fuck this isnt the same, why are you even comparing it" sirius interrupted

"oh of course its not the same, but communication is key, no matter what the relationship is"

"yea and when i ask him out and he just says i misunderstood all his soft affectionate gestures, then stops hanging out with me because im gay and he would know i have feelings for him, that clearly arent mutual. i'll just ruin everything, and i'll lose probably the only person that likes me in this lousy world" sirius spilled, laughing bitterly.

"sirius! you know remus would never stop hanging out with you because of that, you know it!" james said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"yea but it'd be a sticky situation when your gay friend has feelings for you" sirius said, his eyes filled with tears that he wiped right away hoping james and lily didnt see that.

"sirius.." lily said lowly

"lily can you please check up on peter and help him if needs any assistance" james told her firmly, she didnt need telling twice, knowing he wanted to be left alone with sirius. she made her way out of the great hall until she was out of sight, then james look at sirius again who had his head buried in his hands once again.

"sirius i dont know whats gotten into you today, but you know damn well that neither moony or i would ever think of you any differently because you're gay. stop saying that as if its something that hinders you" this was one of the rare occasions where james was serious and firm. he wanted sirius to know meant every word that left his mouth. at this moment he heard a sniff followed by a weak sob.

"james, i sometimes wish i wanst- wasnt, you know, gay" he managed to say between sobs. james' face fell suddenly.

"no dont say that. please dont say that, you know we love you the way you are and we dont give two damns if you're gay or not" james got up and made his way across the table to sit next to sirius rather than in front of him.

"you're me best mate, i dont like seeing you like this. i love you a lot sirius and nothing your little overthinking brain comes up with could change that" he said, pulling sirius into a hug, so hard that he mightve broken a few ribs. he wasnt gonna let go before sirius does, he could stay here all day until sirius was ready to let go. he heard strong sniffs and felt his chest going up and down. sirius broke the hug after a few minutes, looking a lot more content than he had a few minutes before. james gave him his usual cheeky smile.

"your fucking snout sirius" james laughed, picking up a handkerchief trying to clean his shoulder.

"fuck off" sirius managed to laugh, sniffing again.

"thank you" sirius said quietly

"come off it, dont thank me" james smiled at him. he watched him grab a cigarette and right when he was about to light it with the tip of his wand james stopped him hesitantly. james never really liked to mother him about smoking or give him lectures about the effects smoking had, but he noticed sirius was eating less and smoking more the past couple of days. sirius shot a "what-do-you-want" look to which james responded, "um, can you please just eat something before you smoke" james said. he knew this was a touchy subject, he never liked to mention it but they were alone and he knows he's the only one sirius would listen to. sirius gave him a hesitant look, before stuffing the cigarette back in his pocket.

"just for you prongs" he rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his doughnut. james however was filled with so much joy seeing his best friend do that just for him.

"what are you smiling so much at you prat" sirius said between bites. james shook his head softly before saying, "im very proud of you sirius, i hope you know that" sirius smiled and laughed dismissively at that statement, james knew it touched him but sirius never really knew how to respond to affectionate words.

"you're very sappy you know that" sirius laughed slightly.

"whatever" james felt his cheeks go red. "anyway i have to get going before i get minnie mad on christmas" he said, getting up, swinging his backpack on his back leaving the hall.

"tell moony i say merry christmas" james called, leaving the great hall also disappearing out of sight.

later that night, james and lily departed home to spend the upcoming weeks with their families to celebrate christmas, so did most of the school. as homey and welcoming as the school felt, everyone loved going back to their family, everyone except sirius. sirius was never fond of his family, he never had a good relationship with them and all they did was make him more miserable, he would take any chance to be away from them. sirius was sat in the library that was emptier than usual (but the ceiling was enchanted to fake snow) he was sitting with two giant books opened in front of him, yellowed by age. he looked over at the books, he hadnt read a single word despite being here for nearly an hour. he came here in an attempt to distract himself from the intensifying amount of nerves and stress, however, he was so lost in his thoughts that not even that gigantic book can save him from his exhausting overthinking. he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, shutting the books that made a loud thud and put them back in their place. sirius swung his backpack on his back and left the library making his way to the gryffindor tower. he just wanted to sleep. yes, sleep, thats what he needed. he went through the fat lady's portrait and climbed up the stairs to his dormitory, finding remus sitting on his four poster bed completely engulfed by a book. remus shot his eyes up the second he heard sirius walking in and gave him a wordless smile, going back to his book. sirius' stomach did a funny lurch.

"i was starting to think youve forgotten your way around the castle" remus said, flipping the page of his book, still reading it. sirius looked at him nervously, not sure what he meant by that.

"what?" sirius asked, he was going to take his shirt off and get in his pyjamas but stopped abruptly. he didnt wanna make remus uncomfortable around him, especially after what happened this morning. they always had a very intimate relationship though, changing in front of each other was never a problem. remus suppressed a chuckle which made sirius look at him, unsure what he found comical in this very intense atmosphere.

"you can take your shirt off if you want sirius" remus said, still poured into his book.

"how can you even see me?" sirius couldnt stop himself. remus looked up from his book and gave him a is-that-even-a-question look. sirius slipped his undone tie, unbuttoning his buttons his fingers shaking horribly for a reason he didn't understand. he knew remus was looking in his book (not that he didnt want remus looking) but he still felt like all the worlds eyes are on him. a couple of awfully long minutes passed and sirius finally was in his pyjama and got into his bed under his blanket and stared absentmindedly into the wall. remus flipped the page once again, he hadnt read a word on the previous page. how could he? he was so preoccupied by sirius changing in front of him. remus did freak out when he found himself on the same bed as sirius this morning. he doesnt know why he freaked out the way he did, its not like its the first time. he knew that this had made sirius extremely self conscious the whole day, he was wearing a very dull look. he had to make up for his unexplainable actions, he cant stand seeing sirius this upset, especially if he was the reason hes feeling like that. he couldnt stand seeing him in such a bad mood on breakfast this morning that he had to dismiss himself early. but sirius' loss of his loud flirtatious attitude was what stirred the pot for remus. he didnt walk in the dorm and try to slip in bed with remus, or get a kiss from him, or remotely try draw any attention to hismelf from remus rather than that book in his hand, which was as un-sirius as one can get.

"why were you late?" remus asked sirius, knowing hes not asleep. sirius mumbled something inaudible from his bed that remus didnt catch onto. remus furrowed his brows slightly. he shut his book and put it on the bed side table, the sound he made when he shut his book made sirius shift in his bed to face remus who was staring back at him.

"where were you?" remus asked

"in the library" sirius said simply, avoiding any sarcasm or any joking around. remus face wore a surprised expression.

"oh- by your own will?" he said with a breathy laugh.

"yea" sirius replied

"what were you reading?" said remus, sounding excited. sirius didnt exactly know why he wad being interrogated by remus about his absence.

"um, i was just doing homework"

"oh, thats actually nice pads" remus smiled. sirius' stomach did another flip at the nickname. god this was so awkward and tense, sirius thought.

"sirius are you mad at me?" remus said, going straight to the point. every muscle in sirius' body went tense and completely still.

"no" sirius said bluntly.

"sure?"

"yea"

"okay. great then. um do you wanna come lay here with me?" remus offered, this was quiet foreign for remus as it was never him who initiated anything sexual or intimate. but he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for sirius. just for sirius.

"uh- sorry moony im really tired" it pained sirius to say these words, if he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to lay in remus' chest right now and give him soft pecks and kiss his stupid plump lips.

"oh, okay" remus said lowly. "okay then" sirius wasnt sure what he meant by that tone, and before sirius has any other second to think about it, he felt his bed dip slightly and remus climbing on him, placing himself on top of sirius with his legs wide opened around his waist. sirius felt like all the oxygen in the world had escaped his lungs.

"tired, you said you are pads? want a little massage?" remus cooed softly. he leaned down on sirius' chest undoing his pyjama buttons revealing his tattooed chest.

"remus-" sirius tried to stop him. sirius promised himself he wasnt going to do anything like that with remus because he doesnt want to make him uncomfortable or possibly hate him more, however, this is different. its remus thats initiating it. it remus that did it.

"what pads?" remus continued cooing softly, completely stripping sirius of his shirt and attaching his lips on sirius' neck. at this exact moment, sirius moaned louder than he intended. he shifted slightly in his bed and put his hand through remus' hair. remus continued nibbling sirius' neck. he bit and licked at all the right spots, leaving a soft trail of kisses all over his neck and made his way up to his chin and on his lips, where he left a soft peck. sirius however pulled remus' head back towards him to kiss him properly, remus licked sirius' bottom lip which made sirius moan approvingly into the kiss. remus slipped his tongue in sirius' mouth and deepened the kiss, he felt sirius' hand wandering around his shoulder and slipped in his shirt to touch his bare skin.

"god this is so" remus moaned breaking the kiss only to attach his lips on his once again.

"remus-" sirius stopped him abruptly. remus looked down on sirius, his eyes mobing fast between his godly features, furrowing his brows slightly not understanding why sirius stopped him. did he make him uncomfortable? was sirius really not in the mood and remus overstepped a boundry? remus felt a horrible tingling feeling in his stomach as his brain raced between all the possibilities.

"remus im sorry- i cant do this" sirius said, as soon as the words left his mouth he felt horrible, reading the shocked and bewildered expression on remus face, he looked very hurt and unsure of himself.

"oh- fuck okay im sorry" remus said quickly, getting off sirius and leaving his bed, but sirius held his arm to immobilize him and not make him leave. they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt painfully long. both of them felt confused, upset with themselves and unsure of what to do or say next.

"can you please stay" sirius said quietly avoiding remus' eye. remus didnt respond which made sirius feel a horrible pit of nerves in his stomach.

"i- i don't understand. you just asked me to stop and told me you cant do this" remus spoke lowly with a soft rasp in his voice. sirius buried his head in his hand, he was on the brink of tears, he honestly didnt know what or how to explain his confusion to remus. how could he explain it or put it in cohesive words when he himself didn't understand.

"sirius please talk to me" remus said softly, holding sirius' hand

"rem i dont know how-"

"do you trust me?" remus cut him off.

"what- yes of course" sirius said sternly.

"then please tell me how you feel"

"how i feel about what?" sirius asked

"about doing this" remus tried to explain, sirius knew at once he was referring to all the sexual stuff they do.

"remus i love it. i enjoy it a lot, i sometimes just want the day to end only to get in bed with you. i- i dont know how to word my feelings because it's honestly just all a mess inside me" sirius spilled. this was the most he'd spoken all day. remus smiled at the last sentence. "what about you?" sirius asked, feeling the same horrible pit of nerves in his stomach increase. remus however smiled.

"i do things for you pads that id never do to anyone" he said, smiling more. he leaned closer to sirius' face and brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. "but, if you feel unsure about this, we can stop and just be friends. i'd completely understand"

"no what the fuck moony" sirius said before he could stop himself, remus looked in his eyes. "no im unsure about your feelings to me, not about my feelings to you" he tried to explain.

"you think i dont like you?" remus asked quickly.

"well not exactly but im not sure how you feel towards me". at this, remus leaned down to kiss sirius lips a soft and tender kiss. he took his time to savor every bit of his mouth he could.

"maybe this would give you a good idea about how i feel about you" he smiled at him. "we're both exhausted, its best if we just go to sleep"

"right okay. can you sleep with me?" sirius asked, remus gave a breathy laugh at his sweet request.

"yes darling i can" he said with his usual rasp apparent, getting under the blanket and spooning sirius playing with his hair for the the next foreseeable hours until both of them were sleeping.

soft sun rays illuminated through the window of the gryffindor tower and on the entire hogwarts grounds. the translucent curtains that were in the dormitory were not doing any shielding from the sun rays whatsoever. it fell gently on the two boys that were sleeping together, tangled together, their bodies almost intertwining so perfectly with each other as if they were jigsaw pieces. sirius' head was on remus' chest, remus hugging sirius' body towards him and their legs just tangled. they looked so peaceful, their chests raising and going down every couple of seconds, it was all so perfect that one could confidently bet that even their heartbeats were in sync.

an owl came knocking its beak on the window above the bed theyre on, breaking the gentle yet majestically peaceful the state they were in. sirius shifted slightly in his sleep, opening his eyes to find uninvited sunlight penetrating right through his eyeballs. the owl made another knock on the window trying to grab their attention.

"fine okay" sirius said rasply, he got up sitting upright opening the window for that stupid owl that interrupted his sleep. the owl had two parcels tied on its leg. sirius untied them and the owl flew out at once.

"whos that from?" a raspy voice spoke he immediately knew it was remus.

"um, i think its" he turned the parcel around to see if there was any name, he smiled when he saw the senders name.

"yep, its from prongs" he said looking at remus who also smiled warmly.

"well, we'll open it later, lets just get up quickly now before we miss breakfast" he said, sitting up right and sliding his legs out of the bed. the two boys changed into their normal clothes. remus got into a hand knitted sweater and pants, sirius also got into a baggy sweatshirt and sloppily tied his hair up.

"pads is that mine?" remus smiled looking at the sweater sirius was wearing.

"maybe" sirius replied with a cheeky tone.

"course it is" remus rolled his eyes. "you literally have the biggest closet out of all of us, yet youre never wearing your shit" sirius gave him a weird look.

"not that i mind it darling" remus said softly, playing with sirius' hair slightly. they both left the dormitory and walked down to the common room with the intention to leave to the great hall, however they were met by a small table that was put in front of the fireplace with breakfast food laying on it. they looked at each other exchanging weird looks.

"there was no point of making you leave the common room only to go down and eat when its only you too in the whole school" professor mcgonagall's voice spoke. she was sitting on an armchair wearing her usual green dressing gown. "well anyway, im going down to have breakfast with the rest of the teachers. you two have a merry christmas" she smiled slightly and left the common room.

remus and sirius were just left there standing stupidly in front of the food table.

"well, i guess we're not leaving. sit down lets eat im starving" sirius said sitting himself down and starting to eat toast. they both ate until they were full and just laid on their armchairs to take their breath.

"wanna open the parcel prongs sent?" remus asked after ten minutes of silence.

"uhh sure" sirius said, getting the parcels, handing remus one box and he opened the other one. he tore the wrapping and opened it, a smile breaking on his face.

"he got me a wand polishing set. oh and look, he got me some hair bands" remus laughed a little. sirius put the hair bands in his wrist.

"what are you laughing at, i love it" sirius smiled "what did he get you?"

"he got me part six of 'crows or crowns'. its my favorite book and he knows i couldn't find that volume anywhere" remus' face wore a very big smile from that present. "oh and look! he got me a vest, it's beautiful"

"i'll be wearing that" sirius said at once

"of course darling you can wear it whenever"

"remus open my gift!" sirius said with so much excitement, remus held the huge box wondering what he has inside. he stared at sirius before opening it, unsure of what will meet him when he opens it. his suspicion grew larger when he was met by a cheeky smiling sirius.

"its not gonna blow up in my face right?" remus laughed a little

"only one way to find out" sirius shrugged

"oh god" remus joked. he opened the box and the first thing he saw was a big box inside labeled 'book polishing kit' remus' face fell with shock.

"sirius! sirius is this a book polishing kit? oh my god" he was gasping. sirius felt his cheeks burn by the fond expression on remus' face.

"holy shit pads where did you get this, these are so rare and expensive" he held it close to his face examining it with so much excitement.

"shhh its a gift" sirius was kind of embarrassed fora reason he doesnt know. "theres more stuff"

remus looked inside the box and laughed out loudly when he saw at least a doesnt bars of chocolate.

"what are you laughing at! this is the muggle chocolate you told me you like" sirius said flustered a little.

"yes yes i love it" remus smiled. "thank you"

sirius shrugged, not knowing what to say in situations like this.

"um, right open my gift" remus said looking nervous. remus' gift was something a little different and not very expected, he spent a lot of time thinking whether its a good idea or not. hes so nervous for sirius to see it, he felt his stomach lurch so badly he might vomit. he handed sirius an a4 piece of parchment that was folded into quarters. sirius gave him a confused yet excited look.

"are you giving me your transfiguration homework as a christmas gift moony" he joked.

"oh shut up and open it" every fibre in remus' body was screaming in anticipation and nerves. sirius unfolded the paper and read:

"dear sirius,

i am writing this in the dormitory for the fifteenth time at least. i thought so much about this and decided that its perfect. six years ago when i laid eyes on you for the first time, you had this aura that carried so much charm, something about your stupid gorgeous personality was so seductive and made me in complete lust for you. there aren't enough words in the english language to explain how you make me feel, nothing will come close to describing how i feel when you slip in bed with me every night, when i play with your hair, when i hear your heartbeats, when i hold your hand and stroke it with my thumb, when you kiss my scars, when you sit next to me in class sit there looking pretty doing nothing. i came to the conclusion that every little thing you do has me in utter awe. no one has ever made me feel like that, for a long time i was so confused as to why and how you could do that so effortlessly. i was confused about how i felt about you for so long, i was so confused about myself, and you helped me come to terms with who i am, by being so unapologetically you. at the end of a hard day you're always there to cheer me up, even in my darkest days, when nothing felt like it'll be okay ever again, you're always fucking here to change that. the number of times you've saved my life sirius, i couldnt tell you, by just merely being here. i figured that no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, i want to always be with you. i never want to see that day i have to depart you, i dont ever see it coming because not even the strongest force from the gods above will make me leave you. im in love with you. im so fucking in love you idiot. im in love with the way you talk, the way you tie your hair, the way you dress, the way your eyes crease when you smile, your bark like laugh, your stupid jokes that i find funny unironically, your chirped nail polish... just in love with you. so sirius, this is me asking, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

sirius read the letters at least three times to make sure he wasnt missing anything, to make sure he was reading it correctly. was remus asking him out? was remus actually in love with him? none of this felt real. sirius felt like he's seeing stars in his vision, like he was going to pass out any second right now. he looked up at remus who was staring attentively on him and watching his every reaction. he met eyes with him and felt like all the worlds oxygen was being drained.

"so?" remus asked, his voice quivering.

"so?" he repeated as if this was a incredulous thing so say, " fuck yes i wanna be your boyfriend" sirius threw himself on remus on his armchair and splattered him with kissed everywhere he could reach.

"i never thought id be the lucky person to actually end up dating you" sirius breathed

"please, im the lucky one here" remus rolled his eyes.

"i mean hell yeah you are" sirius said sarcastically.

the pair of them spent the rest of the day sitting on the armchair cuddled up with the heat of each other, sharing soft intimate touches every now and then. they spent the whole day in peace and delicacy and made the most out of each other’s company. soon enough before they knew it, the holidays were over and students were returning to hogwarts for their second term.

“hi remus! hey sirius, good holiday? how are you two?” james showered them with questions enthusiastically when they saw him come in the gryffindor common room, he seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

“yea, great holiday” remus mumbled finding himself an armchair and sitting in it. the rest followed and sat on armchairs around him but sirius sat on his lap which remus scooted over a little to make space for him. james and lily looked at each other rolling their eyes playfully but happy that theyre on good terms, unlike the last time they saw them.

“what about you two? and you wormy? how was ur holiday” remus asked calmly, playing with sirius’ hair absentmindedly.

“great we had a great a time, i invited lily and wormy over, wormy couldnt make it though. but lily and i had fun, my parents liked her a lot” james smirked looking at her. “obviously they knew her because i always talked about her to them, but they’ve never really- woah WOAH” james’ speach was cut abruptly when he saw sirius attach his lips to remus’ and remus kissed him back fondly. they all exchanged shocked looks but they werent too shocked, they knew something was happening between the pair of them.

“woah guys” james laughed as they broke the kiss apart and giggled at their reaction.

“yea um, remus and i are dating” sirius said, lookinh flustered slightly. remus was still playing with his hair softly.

“does that mea we can go on double dates?” james said at once

“james potter i am not going on double dates with you and sirius thank you very much” lily said sarcastically.

“suit yourself, james and i are going on dates” sirius shrugged

“james and you are what-“ lily looked confused but cant help a laugh.

“thats right evans” sirius said in a dignified tone.

“dont you talk to my girlfriend like that black!” remus said at once. they all laughed at the sitiuation but lily said with a serious voice, “guys im so happy for you, youre finally together” she smiled wamrly. remus and sirius scooted closer next to each other smiling back at her.

“really proud of my mates” james said, trying to keep a serious tone but smirking at the same time.

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