#I blame covid that’s when it got real bad

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my husband for spending "my" money for a part?

My husband stalks the actual AITA reddit so I am using my friend's account here as she has shown me these.

I (25m) have a husband, Liam (25m), and we have a daughter (just turned 2). When I first married Liam, I truly loved him, but I'm not sure now. We have ups and downs and I suffered from postpartum depression and I know Liam has said i was a handful then.

We are almost at five years of marriage. When we got married I had a job, which I left when me and Liam moved for his promotion across the country. Liam encouraged me to stay home and watch our dogs, which then translated to watching our daughter after we had her. I have tried to get a job multiple times, for example I had an interview and missed it because our car wouldn't start (Liam worked on it when he got home thst night and fixed it, but they wouldn't let me interview again). One time we all came down with covid. Just normal life things that occur.

Liam has discouraged me from getting a job, saying he makes enough to support us and wants me to be with our daughter. I do love being with her, but I feel unfulfilled and want to work. I tried to sell stuff online, but we decided it was too expensive to continue. Liam finally agreed for me to get a job, I got an interview and they offered me the job, but I just found out I am pregnant. The job is very labor intensive and my first pregnancy was not easy, Liam doesn't want me to accept and I am inclined not to, but I want to earn my own money.

Well, our heater unexpectedly went out and we had to pay for the part to fix it. Except, instead of using the joint account he used my account. Liam told me that it is his money and he can spend it how he pleases. I yelled at him that I would have money if I was able to get a job, and he told me I was being too hormonal because of the baby and needed to look at things logically. I told him to fuck off. I said some other things in anger, and I'll be honest i don't remember exactly what I said but i didnt think it was that bad, but Liam won't tell me. He says it was absolutely terrible and i must not love him to say what I did and that my brain fog is just me blaming the pregnancy. He has since slept in the guest room while I sleep in our room. I apologized for yelling but told him I still wanted a job, he says that isnt a real apology. AITA?

My friend says to add this here for context:

We have three accounts, they all are joint accounts. The first is a checking which is what we take our rent, bills, etc out of and what the part should have come out of. Then we have the first saving account which is his account. Then there is the second checking account which is considered mine. He puts money in it weekly for me to spend on groceries and our daughter. Anything extra I don't spend I get to keep.

What are these acronyms?

[jun-of-love]

gorgeous - kim mingyu

summary: you were never the one to enjoy parties, until you came across the gorgeous Kim Mingyu.

genre: romance (?)

trigger warning: extremely handsome dude, alcohol consumption

words: 1.5k

pairing: mingyu × yn

a/n: reputation is taylor's best album.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧  .✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧ 

“I should’ve just bailed out last minute.”

You think as you look at the flashing neon lights coming from the flat. You wondered how much retinal damage the lights could cause. Plus, it was full of people, who were most probably sweaty and horny. Should you report it to the police for disrupting covid regulations? That way you wouldn’t have to attend the party for valid reasons. Unfortunately, covid regulations were far gone, and even if they hadn’t, you were not that mean……yet. Your heels were already painfully digging into your feet and you were genuinely thinking of turning back and ghosting Yeri, right then she comes up to you, dragging you inside with her. Its done, you’ll have to stay here at least for an hour before you could leave. Fine, let’s do it, how bad can it get?, is what you think.

It indeed got very bad. Specifically when Yeri introduced you to the guys who had organized the party, the owners of this humongous flat- Lee Dokyeom, Jeon Wonwoo and……..Kim Mingyu.

Your breath probably got stuck in your throat the moment your eyes landed on the man. Was it the lighting of the party, or was there a literal halo above his head? Kim Mingyu looked so perfect, everything about him was just right- his face, his body, his smile, his laugh, his aura, and the way he carried himself. God was in fact real, and he has made this being with his own holy hands.

You never considered yourself to be one with rizz, and your interaction with Kim Mingyu proved you right. You refused to look at him for more than three seconds, opting to talk to anyone but him. Your heart threatened to jump out of your throat, making you clutch on your cup for your life. You befriended Karina, Jennie, and Joy- all of them looked like literal goddesses. Was there anyone here who represented the general population? It was probably you, you realized.

The group decided on playing beer pong, which you opted out of, because a) you didn’t want to drink ao early on and b) you didn’t know how the game goes. You only told the first reason though, to which Mingyu replied that he will drink for you (!!!) You only laughed awkwardly and brushed him off, hoping that you were subtle with the panic he caused in you. Zero points in the flirting department for you.

The game was interesting, mainly because it was played by hot people. You maintained the 3 second rule of looking at Mingyu, settling on cheering for Wonwoo instead. He was cute too, in a nerdy way. He was the kind of guy you would usually go for. He was also very built, under the plain black tee he wore, because he kept flexing his biceps, every time he landed a ball in the cup. So was Mingyu, to your happiness and dismay. Happiness because well, he was a work of art, and made you drool, dismay because you could only look at him for three seconds, and he was too good to be true. Mingyu’s team won (obviously) and you hugged the girls of the team and Dokyeom and decided to give a small thumbs-up to Mingyu (it was either that, or completely ignoring him. You were proud of your choice.)

You could’ve left by now, but unfortunately you were having fun, enough to down two drinks and agreeing to play a drinking game. You sat besides Wonwoo and Yeri, and noticed that Mingyu would sit between Jennie and Dokyeom, the way they had left a space for him. It made you feel weird for some reason, but you wouldn’t blame him- Jennie was beautiful and charming, and if you could, you would like her too. Mingyu rushed towards the group with blankets in his hands, dropping one in each girl’s lap, and sat like it was nothing to him. It was nothing big, just a kind gesture- but it made you breathless in a way that you prayed that your nostrils don’t flare up as you make up for the loss of air in you. He was handsome as well as thoughtful, how unfortunate for you.

The game consisted of a stack of cards and everybody had to take turns picking up cards. It would either be a truth or a dare- classic high school dumbassery but slightly unique (?) It was quite fun, especially when Yeri called up her 9th grade Math teacher who she had a crush on (why did she have his number, you’d never know) or when Dokyeom put up a picture of his armpit on his story for an hour. It was Mingyu’s chance and his card asked if he was committed or single- and to do a stripper dance if the latter.

“please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating” you muttered because all of this would become very easy for you if he was dating someone. You wouldn’t have to see him flex his body and worry about drool on your mouth. Also, you were a person with morals, you would never steal someone’s man- and the thought of someone being committed removes any and all attraction you have towards him. Kim Mingyu having a girlfriend was the best possible outcome.

“I guess I have to give a show then.” Mingyu smirked, removing his shirt with one hand in a go. The girls squealed, the guys hooted and all you could think of was how long the chorus of the song ‘Unholy’ was because you couldn’t physically handle it. You covered your eyes involuntarily and chose to look through the gaps between your fingers because you were not strong enough to miss the show either.

You winced as Mingyu ran his hands on his chiseled abs and grabbed his muscular, perfect thigh. His facial expressions were sultry, he was acting as if this was paying his rent. You were probably delusional, but it felt as if he looked at you too much during his performance. Maybe its because you were acting like Virgin Mary, but it still made you flustered.

Thankfully, the guys pulled him away as he was about the grind on the floor, god knows what would’ve happened to you then. In this commotion, Wonwoo ended up sitting next to Mingyu, and you next to Dokyeom. You were quite drunk by this time, and it was your chance to pick the card again.

“Kiss the most attractive man in the room.”

Your luck was in your favour or not, you couldn’t really decipher. The answer to the dare was obvious to you, probably to everyone else as well. You shifted in Mingyu’s direction, slowly because you were drunk enough to enjoy the attention on you, and the look of anticipation on Mingyu. Maybe you backed off, or maybe this was planned by you, your thought process was a little hazy, but you turned your head away from Mingyu and kissed Wonwoo instead. Your friends cheered, Yeri damn near losing her mind screaming. You held on his biceps, and he deepened the kiss, making a shiver go through your spine. You broke the kiss and smiled at him, returning to your seat. Jennie patted on your back, giggling cutely. You could see Mingyu completely flustered, and staring at you every now and then. Ha! You had avenged for all the awkwardness he had caused you this entire night. But if you had won, why couldn’t you stop wondering how much better a kiss with Mingyu would’ve been?

The screaming and hooting probably drained everyone’s energy, making people pass out like deflated balloons. You picked up Yeri, trying to wake her up enough to walk to the Uber. You held both of your purses and heels in one hand, and Yeri in the other. As you managed to put her in the cab and struggled to get inside, you heard a yell of your name. It was Mingyu?

“I thought you passed out.” You said, trying not to look at his shirtless form.

“I almost did, but I couldn’t just let you go.”

“Huh?”

“I thought we had something going on tonight.” He said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“We did?” You asked incredulously. To you, it was just admiring his flawless form in a borderline creep, did he interpret it in a positive way?

“I hope you think so too, because I kind of fought off Wonwoo to ask you out.”

You would have thanked God if you weren’t an atheist. You were living your dream k-drama life with two incredibly hot men fighting over you. So, like every female lead ever, you choose the hotter man.

“Sure, Mingyu, I’ll go out with you. Text me the details later.”

For the first time tonight, Mingyu showed off his full smile, with his eyes scrunched up, showing off a little dimple near his nose.

Ah, you were so glad you didn't bail out.

[beatsboy]

8.19.24 / day 57 of being a delusional artist

day 5 of moon time

today was chaotic, i was under slept, it was 90 degrees outside, and yet, i still carved out time for my art, albeit at the end of the day, and i almost managed to eat a meal before 11am (even though i’d been up since 8). the problem is not when i wake up, i don’t even mind if i get up late, it’s that i keep getting stuck in holes. in hyper fixations. and not the good kind. like the kind that makes your fear of contamination worse and worse every time you open instagram. like the kind that makes grocery stores a battle ground.

today in therapy, we talked about my obsessions, compulsions, and how they’ve been inhibiting my daily life lately. it feels like it’s always about control, unless it’s about my father. i did realize today in therapy, that, because my father controlled me for so much of my life—even when i rebelled, and sometimes especially when i rebelled—i relied on him to inform me of what was real, what wasn’t, what was good, bad, immoral, etc and now i have to figure these things out for myself.

instead of asking myself what i think, though, i ask the internet. i look for experts to validate any side, either side, any opinion, just tell me it’s right and true and real. like my dawn dish soap. i don’t really give a shit if it’s poisonous or not, i’d just like to know if i need to stop using it. it’s more than the dawn dish soap, though. and it’s about more than controlling my environment in a post-addiction life. it’s about the root of the problem: i don’t trust myself anymore. or, maybe i never did, i’m not sure.

i don’t really think i trusted myself back then, i think i more so just leaned into the chaos of it all and let go. sure, substances helped to embrace this chaos. my (same) therapist at the time told me that she thought perhaps i didn’t want to let go of my attachment to being a hot mess. she was right, of course. that was a difficult part of myself to let go of since it was inextricably tied to being accountable for my actions, and responsible for actual growth and change. it was easier to cry about my ex, fuck his friends, and blame it on how much i drank. same as it was easier to go into a k hole in my bedroom and have video sex with strangers on the internet, shoving a dildo up my ass until i feel something, barely able to remember it the next day when i go to work, than to simply be alone with myself at night, in a time when everything was closed, and i had no one else to talk to.

so, alas, now, that i am not an unhinged addicted closeted transsexual, i have let go of much of the chaos, and yet, i have found myself bound to an order that does not always serve me. there are rules in my head, spirals that lead to rabbit hole upon rabbit hole of research and internet deep diving, only to come out with no answers. i still don’t know if crocs are toxic, if dawn dish soap is poisoning me, or if receipts put forever chemicals in your bloodstream just by touching them, but there are some things i cannot afford to worry about, and those things are taking up so much space in my brain it is hard to see anything else. yes, we are talking about if i have ocd or not, i think it might just be the autism though if i’m being honest like, i haven’t always been so afraid of food and contamination things, it’s really developed more and more since covid. that’s when i developed an intense fear of getting sick (i remember taking a full shower and stripping my clothes in the garage the first time i was exposed) and working in healthcare where i had to be exposed was not fun during that time, so i just tried to learn as much as i could to feel as in control of the situation as i could, because i was so scared of getting it. when i got the call that i was getting my vaccine, i literally cried. and now, i know i’m immunocompromised, and the vaccine is not t h a t effective on me and i’ve had it like 3 fucking times and i’m even more scared now because of that so yeah

and i mean i want to believe that it’s the food poisoning me, that it’s my dish soap, or my polyester clothing because even removing every single ounce of plastic from my life is easier than going through the american healthcare system when you don’t know what’s wrong with you and i do know parts, i know about my eds, which has helped explain a lot, and i know that my digestion is s l o w but i don’t know w h y so that’s fun

through all this fear, nonetheless, and realizing that my fear and internet rabbit holing was a way to fill the void where i used to have a father, i still sat down and made art today. i opened ableton, i worked on choirboy, which is, in a way, a song in reference to my father, and myself, of course. i wonder what he would think if he heard it.

[celticcrossanon]

Hi Celta, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm very interested to hear your thoughts on the book that Omid ( ably assisted by the Harkles, IMO,). I can't believe it was allowed to be published, honestly. Is there more to it than we realise?

Hope you're feeling better x

Hi NZCarol,

I was feeling a lot better and planning to come back and start blogging again this weekend.

Then I got covid (thank you family members) and now I am a miserable mess.

With respect to the book:-

I believe the writing and structure is dreadful, which explains why his first book had a co-writer.

It is very clearly Meghan and Harry speaking through the author, Meghan moreso than Harry imo (although Harry is by no means blameless).

it is also very clearly an outpouring of spite and hatred against the BRF, specifically the King and the Prince and Princess of Wales. The contents are apparently a repeat of all the gossip from social media, so old news and stale news.

I think the three people involved in writing the book (Harry, Meghan and their mouthpiece) wrote it to vent their spite and hatred, and that it was designed to cause as much trouble for the BRF as possible.

I also think that those three people grossly underestimated the ability of the general public to see through their bullshit and to understand exactly what they are doing.

The only real point of interest that has been picked up by the media is the naming of the so-called royal racists as King Charles and The Princess of Wales, which is a) unbelievable given the named people's past history of behaviour b) clearly an attempt to boost sales and c) not to be believed as that story has changed its details every time it was repeated, right from the start with two version being given in the Oprah interview. With both the author and Meghan being proven liars in court, it is difficult to take anything they say with any degree of veracity.

@emmashouldbewriting has explained that the agents handled the English version rights, but the author themself handled the foreign language rights, which means that the version with the names that was translated was supplied by the author

I think the author saying the names was a mistranslation is a lie. That is not how translation works. I think including the names of the royal racists was deliberate, to boost sales and to cause problems for the BRF. I also think that by blaming the translators the author has done a lot of harm to two innocent people.

I think the book is a targeted and deliberate attack on Charles, William and Catherine, and it is designed to make Charles look like a bad king. I have no idea why someone would write this apart from spite and malice. From the title and the blurbs, the author clearly thought that this book would take down the monarchy and finish it for good, but to do that the book needed several things it is sorely lacking, such as coherence, an organised structure, and truly shocking information about corruption backed up by proof instead of stale gossip that has done the rounds many times before appearing in the book.

I think the book was a definite attempt to undermine and discredit the British Monarchy, I think it has failed, and I think that Harry and Meghan will now scramble to disassociate themselves from the book with more lies, if they have not already done so.

The question now is how will King Charles respond to this collection of obvious hatred. Any reaction will be twisted by the author and Harry and Meghan into more publicity, so there is a case for ignoring it (continuing the grey rocking), but there are also the questions of how far is too far and when do you have to take steps to protect yourself and your family.

By itself, I believe the book is nothing more than an incoherent jumble of opinion mixed with old and tired gossip, seasoned with a liberal does of spite and malice, but it is part of a bigger pattern, one of continual malicious attacks on the BRF by Harry and Meghan. Is it time to shut the couple down for good, and if so, how would you do it so it is both decisive and effective? I think those are the questions facing King Charles and his response with either fix the situation for good or male it much worse.

[thenotebookwizard]

She-Ra | A Fanboy's Tale

The odd story of how I ended up in the She-Ra fandom. Because I would have put money down on that not ever having happened, but here I am.

So, to frame this story - a few things you should know about me.

My (main) job is Professional Adult™ - which is to say, I teach life skills to folk with neurodivergence, physical disability, and mental illness. I love my job. It lets me be a disability advocate. It lets me work with amazing people. It lets me discover, explore, and understand the world a little better every day. It lets me teach things I am very good at and learn things I am not. And it forces me to examine myself a lot.

I don't watch much TV. Or many movies. Anxiety about things. Lack of time. Lack of interest. Even fewer things I watch are cartoons. There are some older cartoons I love, but I don't really watch many cartoons. Not because they're bad or aren't entertaining or I have a prejudice against the form. Just - usually - I'm not exposed to ones I like.

Or they hit on the thing that makes me really wary of TV shows and movies these days. Which is - I love unironically heroic characters. I am so tired of the gray-area, morally compromised characters. I am tired of gritty, the bad guys win, the good guys have to be bad guys to win, the antiheroes, the Walter Whites (I loathe that show. And that character. It's awful.) Game of Thrones and ASOIAF. (Terrible people. Doing terrible things. For terrible reasons.)

I have worked with some families for more than a decade. Close to two decades, in some cases. Parents who needed to learn things to teach their kids. Kids with neurodivergence who needed someone to be able to fight for them at school when the parents didn't know the right code words and the laws. Siblings and niblings and adopted clans have all asked for my help over the years.

One such family has three kids, two parents and a bunch of adopted aunts/uncles. They are amazing people. Supportive. Accepting. Creative. They work hard, play hard, and find joy in ways I never have been able to.

The oldest kid loved Stephen Universe. They wrote fic. Drew fanart.

The oldest kid is autistic. Some social rules - are hard for them. Understanding the vagaries of fandom culture was just as hard. We never did find out what they did wrong (maybe it was their gemsona. Maybe it was a fic pairing. Maybe it was a youtube ramble. We really don't know.) But they did or said something that got a faction of the SU fandom riled up at them.

This is not an indictment of that fandom. I've been in fandom long enough to know that you can't blame all for a few. These few did some real damage, though. Threats. Mockery. Told my student to kill themselves. Slurs. Online stalking. Doxxing. Threatening phone calls. Threatening letters. Glitter bombs. False allegations called into their school. To police. Their home was vandalized. Their cars were vandalized to the point they were totaled.

They had to move. Both parents had to get new jobs. My student did not graduate from their high school. They were home schooled. They did not go to college. They did not get a job. They went into residential treatment for a year and some change. They have not yet recovered.

So when the youngest kid found She-Ra and the Princesses of Power a year or two ago and dove in with a powerful hyperfixation, their mother called me up in a blind panic. She could not go through it again.

She paid me to watch the show. To explore the fandom. To read the fic. To do what I do as a fandom person online.

So I did. To be fair, I was pretty much coasting along at that point. Coming out of a breakup, a health crisis, and COVID. No real new fandoms in years. Poking at a fic here and there. Not active on tumblr anymore. One or two servers. But my skills were there - I knew how to find fandoms. Servers. Fics.

The youngest was thrilled to find out their Mom wasn't going to take their hyperfixation away. They sent me a list of fics to read. Notes on the show. Youtube videos to watch. Articles to read. Blogs to read. Posts to read. Fanart to admire.

I watched the show - and my old fandom heart woke up a bit. The show had great villains. Great characters. An unironically heroic protagonist. A love story. At least, I thought it was a love story. By the time I was through season three, I figured that there was no way they were actually going to go through with Catradora. It was based on popular media properties from my childhood.

(Full disclosure: I loved She-Ra as a kid, more than He-Man. Mostly, because I saw her show first and Skeletor creeped me out. But I loved both and watched both. I love the Dolph Lundgren live action movie and I used to read the He-man and She-Ra comics. So I wasn't uninterested in my new work assignment.)

Then season four hit, and i was devastated. Glimmer had gone the 'dark hero' route. Adora was a sad, lonely mess. And the writers had taken Catra and, in the coldest, most brutal, purposeful, deliberate way taken her apart. Taken everything away from her. When they'd already given her so little. She always lost. Not just the battle or the war, but - herself. Her confidence.

By the time I started season five, I realized Catradora could never happen, because the things the writers would have to do to fix it, redeem them all and not leave me with the normal pyrrhic victory TV shows give these days wouldn't happen. No writers were that brave. No one breaks the cycle that way and gets away with it.

I was wrong.

Glimmer was saved by Catra, who apologized. Who sacrificed herself doing the right thing. Glimmer apologized. Glimmer owned her shit.

You have no idea how important that arc is to me. They took a character who had morally compromised themselves and had that character say: I was wrong. I messed up. I'm sorry.

And mean it. She didn't do it again. She didn't go back to her old ways. She stood her damn ground and stayed a hero. Hells yeah.

Adora - the titular hero of the show, without her magic, without her sword, said: Fuck it. We ball. And she walked right up to the big bad guy with more courage and heart than anyone since Luke Skywalker staring down Palpatine and said: Give me my friend back.

She rescued her arch-enemy. No one would have blamed her for leaving Catra behind with Prime. Catra was the enemy. Catra had broken the universe to get Adora back. Catra had tried to kill Adora and her friends over and over again. Catra had saved Adora as often as she'd tried to hurt her.

She stood before the Emperor of the Known Universe and defied him. She jumped off a cliff after Catra, and then when she stood back up, she had her sword. She had her power. And she kicked ass.

(Best episode. Season 5. Episode 5. Save the Cat.)

Then the writers doubled down and had them save the universe with love - through a kiss. Not only did all of that fit the old show, it was what I have wanted from a show for a long time. Unironic, unabashed, unashamed radical belief that doing the right thing and being a good person matter.

That you don't have to compromise yourself to beat the bad guys. It's when you accept yourself, you deal in radical acceptance, radical forgiveness, and the idea that people can change, grow, get better, become more -

Then you can save the world.

So, of course, I dove into the fic. And I found out where all the fic I'd been craving for ten years had gone. It was in the She-Ra fandom. Epics. One-shots. Love stories. AUs. All of it was right there, and more and more was being posted.

I read the fics my student sent. I joined servers. I read through tropes. Blogs. Posts. Articles. I even made myself watch videos.

And when I went back to that Mom, I told her the truth: there's controversy there, but here always is. There's a fight between ships. There's a lot of pain. A lot of hurt. Because this show touched on some big things - everything from growing up queer to growing up during war and disaster. It gave voices to a lot of things most shows and media won't touch or even look at.

But it's also a fandom full of beautiful people. People finding themselves, people expressing themselves, and people using story to redefine the world just a little bit at a time.

Which is what fandom has always done. When you scrape away the layers of hyperfixation and obsession and naked want for more of what the media gave us, you find people who believe, very strongly, in something the show expressed.

Just like Star Trek, so long ago. (And, not so long ago. I love you, Star Trek Discovery!)

So, I guess with that, discovering the She-Ra fandom turned me into a Professional Fanboy, because I got paid to do what I should have already done.

[erismourn]

watching the james somerton apology video so you don't have to. this isn't entirely comprehensive, just a summary, if you want the nuance of his exact wording please just go watch the video

opens by saying he's monetizing the video to donate the money to hbomb's team so they can distribute it to the harmed individuals, and if hbomb's team don't accept he'll be making monthly donos to wikipedia and trans lifeline going forward

talkign about how he's a bad representative of "the queer community" as a cis white gay man

he's reached out to as many people he harmed as he can, some haven't responded but others have been incredibly kind

he's extending a specific apology to Jessie Gender - he wants to be clear that he didn't report Jessie to the police, as is the common understanding, but a fan of Jessie's who sent him a death threat

wanted his channel to be "welcoming to every queer person" which is impossible - he says he should have made voices that aren't his more accessible, but he didn't

blaming the algorithm for his popularity over queer creators of colour, disabled queers, etc

he thought that crediting people in the opening credits of videos was enough, but he admits he was wrong - people should have been properly cited (personal note: come on man you went to business school. you know how citations work.)

he has obtained permission for use of sources in the past, but "most of the sources" he didn't get permission for

brought Nick on with the idea that Nick would write most of the scripts and James would voice them

james had to put out more videos to make more money because he was let go from work during covid and was also dealing with other stuff so he had to take on more of the writing (and we all know how that went)

[sic] "my intention was to use [giant blocks of text i pasted into the script] as a jumping off point that we would elaborate on when we did table reads but *I have memory issues as a result of a head injury I got as a child*"

the head injury is real, he has epilepsy as a result. I want to be clear here that we need to respect James' disabilities, regardless of how much of a plagiarist he is. however as someone with memory problems I don't buy that it caused him to entirely forget to cite sources over many, many hours of work that he did to churn out these videos.

"when it came to editing the scripts, I couldn't remember what I had written and what I had copy-pasted"

blames his unwillingness to take account of those issues by for example writing notes in the script so future james would know he copypasted them on recently diagnosed ADHD

he had to take on a bunch of additional responsibilities when his mom passed away because his father is illiterate and can't do the legal stuff you have to do when someone dies

Telos grew out of his need to crowdfund after his mom died because RBC's insurance policy was weird (and dunks on RBC which i agree with. fuck all canadian banks)

Telos was supposed to start small but the success of the campaign gave them bigger dreams for their films

he describes the plot of hsi final girl movie and then says "to those who say I plagiarized final girl by grady hendrix, read the book. it's nothing like the plot of the movie." talks about how "final girl" is a trope and if using a trope was plagiarism, then every slasher movie since texas chainsaw would be plagiarism. fair, but i'm suspicious.

talks about the details of having to move to ontario for better opportunities

realized that making movies is a lot more expensive than he originally thought and thus had to make more movie ideas (?? not sure about the logic here but ok)

James and Nick were both involved in writing scripts n stuff

"the intention was never, EVER, to take the [telos] money and run"

James regrets moving to Ontario

James is working with a producer now and is actually making something from Telos - he will make no money from this project

"I am not nor did I ever intend to be paid money from Telos"

stresses again that he and Nick needed to crunch to make videos to make more money and get more sponsors

describes his apology in december as "horrendous"

begins detailing his suicidality

people found James' address, he claims people showed up at his house while he was hospitalized for suicidality (I want to be clear: this is fucked, the people who did this should be shamed)

he's reactivated some videos on his channel that "dont' have plagiarized content" and has done some heavy editing on other videos so they only contain original content and revenue will be going to either Hbomb's team or the charities mentioned above

he's going to be releasing a new video written by him with cited sources

he has no sponsors now

"we didn't intend to have misinformation in past videos" - it was never malicious

he won't be relaunching his patreon but starting a new patreon account if people want to support him

hes going to "work his ass off" to earn people's trust again

"there is no excuse for what I did"

reiterates that he thought putting names in opening credits was fine

"I thought it was ok to [plagiarize vito russo] because the book was out of print and he had passed away"

he wants to make a documentary video about vito russo

"I want to do the work. I want to prove not just to you, but to myself, that I can do the work"

"I can't get across how sorry I am"

[twothpaste]

Thoughts about Porky?

my thoughts on porky are such a vast tangled web of forever spaghetti that i'm not even sure where to begin or what to pin down. the premise of a tormented child ascending to near-godhood out of sheer misanthropic spite towards the whole wide world makes my brain do backflips like a sea world dolphin. i'll ramble a bit about him.

he's ness' foil. just two chubby kids who probably grew up with their (un)fair share of bullying. the only thing distinguishing them was the familial abuse porky suffered, which he inevitably regurgitated. then destiny comes along, choosing ness over porky, and the jealousy just eats porky alive. watching his bestie accumulate friends and accolades, unable to accept it's his own rotten behavior that's driven a wedge between them. gotta imagine the burden of cutting porky off was almost unbearable for ness. somethin' that keeps him up at night, wondering if he'd just been a little kinder, or sterner, or more understanding - maybe he could've saved his old friend? not quite yet realizing it was Not At All his responsibility to "fix" someone who'd dug his grave and laid in it. porky's the kinda bad guy you love to hate, but considering his upbringing, you hesitate to blame the poor schmuck. all he knows is authority and manipulation. if you gave any ornery ostracized thirteen year old unlimited power - instead of empathy and guidance - they'd probably go down the path of vengeance, too.

he's lucas' foil. both of 'em were given plenty of reasons to hate the world. when faced with an unhappy childhood, do you choose love anyways, and move forward? or do you let it become your villain origin story? porky refuses to grow up, to such an extreme degree, that he's gotta drag everybody down into neverland with him. thinks he's got human nature all figured out, when really - kid dropped out in eighth grade - his expertise starts at the middle school lunch table and ends at Lord of the Flies. where lucas seeks to bring about a brighter future, porky's terminally obsessed with the past. barfs up the same old hierarchical capitalist bullshit he grew up with. hoards memorabilia. makes monuments to his warped nostalgia, as if anyone on the nowhere islands knows or cares. even tries to mold lucas into a makeshift ness - one last final battle, one last chance for destiny to stop me, here, take this baseball bat, come get me, let's play. but it doesn't worrrrk, because the gilded past he aches for is long buried, and these people aren't actors in his self-aggrandizing biopic. where lucas wakes up and says, "i don't have to be the same coward i was yesterday," porky says, "me? change? not a chance in hell." even if it costs him everything. porky's real worst nightmare is a world that moves on without him. once he's trapped in his time capsule, that's exactly what he's got in store.

i think he's the sunk cost fallacy incarnate. the sheer momentum of a thousand horrible decisions he can never turn back on. earthbound porky might get a little bit of slack, sure. but given a bazillion years worth of opportunities to change, mother 3 porky actively chose to get worse. what fucks me up most is how real he is. can't call a villain like this "insane", or even terribly exaggerated, when i'm lookin' out the window these days at billionaires, covid deniers, fuckin' terfs and maga hats. some people really would sooner die, or become all-consuming monsters, than admit they were wrong. it's all or nothing. in his eyes, either he's a visionary hero, or everything he's ever done was irredeemably reprehensible - and all the torment and criticism and loneliness he endured was therefore deserved. he can't bear the weight of it, so he simply doesn't. that's what underpins his character, to me. like. the moment he'd admit fault, or apologize, or express an ounce of regret? he'd cease to be porky. denying himself the human capacity to grow, forever, just to spare his fragile ego. could almost pity him. almost.

a perfect villain for both of the stories he terrorizes, and my favorite villain in anything ever. when itoi said "porky is truly a poem in himself" he wasn't kidding.

[blueskyportrait]

hi hi, posting an ask to clarify a few things: apparently the budgets for v9 and the JL league were separate and the real reason for v9's delay was the transition to working at home at covid. i dont like spreading misinformation (good lord the rwby fanbase has enough of it already) so i think this was fair to bring up. while i dont doubt the validity of the animators who worked on v9 and the JL cross over, i can't help but to feel weary due to the fact that this is freaking roosterteeth. a company notorious for their abuse of animators to the point of disability, how their shows are produced on slave labour, how they abuse their starry eye fans for cheap labour, how the higher ups of the company are very much either incompetent or rotten to the core. how can i in good conscious give this company the benefit of the doubt that the JL crossover didnt went through the same crunch or workplace issues? sure the animators got more worked, but were you guys properly paid for it? arianna fillipini's twitlonger details the MASSIVE amount of crunch (50 hr/weeks), how the pay was still below industry standard, how the leadership in v9 didnt help the animators, how everyone got laid off cus RT taking away full time employment, and this was all during VOLUME 9. something produced in 2020-2021, not 5 years ago. im glad the animators got a year of work, im glad they had an opportunity to network with other artists. im not upset that the JL happened, im worried that the same crunch and workplace abuse from v9 was carried over as a consequences of these crossovers being developed in house. while its really dumb to knowingly spread misinformation of RWBY's budget and production, i cant help feel this uneasiness towards every rwby fan on twitter just taking their word that the JL was 'totally a good thing!!!' and anyone upset by how they assumed that the JL took away resources for v9 (because it happened to v6 with gray smuggling money for gen:lock) are 'stupid little haters who use the poor animators at cudgels to flame roosterteeth!!!' am i supposed to trust the notion that suddenly all of the decades workplace abuse and mistreatment that persisted to it's latest season all went away? that suddenly the animators were given enough time and compensation for their work? that suddenly management became leagues better? suddenly all of our concerns towards the production of RT's shows and RT as a company are nonsensical? idk, the entire thing is really weird and the uneasiness i have towards CRWBY's production isnt exactly alleviated by the fact that the JL had a seperate budget :P at least we got to see the beacon designs again 🥃

@unovaslankiite your concerns are completely valid and you're not wrong feeling this way. Even if the budgets for vol 9 and JL were separate, that doesn't make what the animators revelaed just last year what they've been through all go away. Ar*yn Tr*che (who I personally belive is an RT shill so they can keep their job) should not be treated as the only source of info. Their words mean nothing to me. Like, ok, the JL and vol 9 budgets were separate. That doesn't excuse the animation department having to work double time during covid. Yeah you want to ensure they got work, and yet they were snubbed of their overtime pay.

And you're right, why should any of us believe Rooster Teeth? They've been proven over and over again to be liars, and it really isn't hard to notice the patterns of behavior over the years. They said crunch issues in production have been resolved and that was a fucking lie. The cuts to vol 9 and the production of the JL movie sound very similar to what happened to vol 5 when Gen Lock was being made. So people are right to assume the crossover movie affected vol 9.

Pointing all of this out doesn't make you "a bad faith rwby critic" or "wanting to pin blame on crwby" as some stans like to accuse others of. People like you and I are not content with just taking Ar*yn and K*rry's words at face value so they can continue to bury the truth. The stans who try to convince themselves that MKEK and the vas of crwby are separate from RT just want to ease their guilty conscious in wanting to continue to consume rwby content.

That's why they spam #greenlightvol10 on every rwby related post they make. It's a sign of sheer copium.

[vizthedatum]

This is a vent and anger post. Trauma memories coming up.

—

It is that time of year again where I really desperately want to NEVER think about this again. I hate that I think about my ex-spouse.

You know what sucked about my one and only time getting covid? I still don't know how. My ex blames me because I had just gone to a wedding and was unmasked during it. The wedding was full of healthcare professionals, and I spent the majority of my time with my one friend WHO HAD CANCER and my other ex-friend who was a doctor.

When I can back, I tested positive for covid (no one else at the wedding tested positive to my knowledge) after a couple days.

I GOT MONOCLONAL ANTIBODIES. I made that decision because they had warped my brain so fucking much. I even made them an appointment. They refused to get the treatment. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARENT IMMUNOCOMPROMISED.

That was the stupidest part of it all. They made it seem like I was the crazy reckless one while I was trying to take precautions and also live my life.

A LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE IMMUNOCOMPROMISED.

Not my ex-spouse though. They just fear mongered, invalidated their partner with healthcare training, and made our lives a living hell while I defended them.

Fuck you.

How dare you?

I was embarrassed for such a long time. Because you're actually stupid when it comes to biology and the life sciences. You might have valid reason to be afraid of a horrible virus - but you are incompetent in knowing what to do.

And I can't believe I let you bully me for so long.

I can't believe I let you bully me before the pandemic. Or even settled for such a pathetic life because I thought it was the best I could do.

I honestly did think you were the love of my life. I thought you were my best friend and that you would look out for me.

—

No.

All that was proved was that we had some times that were incredibly special in a sea of betrayals in the name of your unaddressed control issues.

I STOOD UP FOR YOU. I BELIEVED IN YOU. I SUPPORTED YOU BEYOND MY CAPACITY. I don't care if you thought I was useless - I was trying my best. That was my best, even if I was freezing and needing to rest a lot.

And if you really thought I was vindictive, I had to FORCE myself to not go into my vindictiveness and press charges.

If you really think you did nothing criminal by abusing me, conditioning me, seeing my physical health deteriorate while you relegated me to only being a sex toy who just disappointed you in every other way, screaming at me, imprisoning me in my room, exposing me to a mice infestation that could have truly made us ill instead of covid, confusing me about consent, pulling out my IUD when I was in an incredibly weak and confused state right after you screamed that I was THE WORST THING IN YOUR LIFE, and… :(

I am angry that it got so bad.

I'm angry that I chose all the wrong people that year.

I'm angry that we built a life together.

I'm angry that you come up in conversation when I'm on a date with somebody. That I have to explain my triggers.

I'm so angry that this happened. I'm angry that I had to hold myself together and still was way too vulnerable last year. I hate it.

—

This upcoming week marks two years since I left you. I hate you. I forgive you but only for my sake. I hope you find peace. And I hope that if you ever run into me, you'll remember that I AM MORE UNHINGED AND WHOLE THAN I WAS WHEN I LEFT YOU.

Tell everyone. Tell everyone how I was the real abuser. Cry your fake flower-enby tears. You are pathetic, and I will never give you the benefit of the doubt again, even if you end up changing for the better.

[hypocrisyofandrewdobson]

While everyone has named comics that are definitely among the worst of Dobson, here are some I'd like to add-

His list comic where he basically says football fans are all homophobes while also secretly being gay.

ANYTHING with Talus. Because Talus literally makes an already bad comic even worse. Every time.

The very last comic he made before he rage quit (not counting Cabin's Rest) I think, where he directly compared the COVID-19 pandemic to the 9/11 attacks. He got A LOT of blowback for that and he threw a fit over it and denied that's what he was saying. Even though he clearly was, and I recall him even calling people "stupid" for thinking that was his point. Then failing to explain what his "real" point was. What a way to end his cartooning career. but it was also a very fitting end for him.

1. List comic

2. Random Talus comic.

3. Covid 9/11 comic

(Remember, this was when he was trying to blame Trump for Covid happening)

Honestly, those three comics you picked give a good overall example of why Dobson has the reputation he has, along with giving you an idea of the type of person he is.

[talkingtea]

looks like those starz shows has been cancelled and it was just made public. run the world showrunner tweeted this: https://twitter.com/rachellerw/status/1706427706550915513?s=46. and heels just finished its second season run. there’s more than SA’s BS to be fair. the show tried casting several years ago but wasn’t successful. they tried again in 2019 and finished casting. they were supposed to film beginning of 2020 but couldn’t bc of the pandemic. they started late 2020 and finished early 2021, premiered late 2021. they got renewed within 3 weeks. they started filming s2 early 2022 and finished july 2022. then starz & lionsgate ended their partnership the rest of last year (and the result of that made heels only available in the US). so they pushed s2 to the end of this july- a whole year after they finished filming it and two whole years after s1 ended. and it happened to air during two strikes and then SA’s BS happened. I think it was already cancelled and maybe that could’ve explained SA’s behavior, like he was lashing out bc he thought promoting it could save it, but even if it wasn’t already cancelled when that all happened, it definitely was cancelled for a bit before it went public, like the other shows. So, as a fan of that show and the other cast members like Kelli Berglund & Alexander Ludwig, I don’t think it’s 100% bc of Stephen. It wasn’t the only one cancelled either. It feels like the show never had a real chance to gain an audience, as barely anyone has Starz, the pandemic delayed it, SA got covid & broke his back during S1 filming so it took even longer than it was supposed to, the network politics delayed it, & the strike stopped promotion. And Starz wasn’t doing any of the promo itself. It was all the cast during S1. They held screenings for several episodes. And it was actually supposed to do a promotion with a real wrestling network this past July, which was another thing Stephen was salty about on his IG, bc the strike stopped that. But it is ironic that scabbing didn’t save the show , lol. I feel terrible for the rest of the cast 😞 There was another wrestling show but on Netflix that was cancelled a while ago, so I feel bad for the wrestling fans. Even other Starz shows that were really well liked got cancelled before these four shows. I know the ratings weren’t what it should’ve been but those are a lot of factors that costed viewers, I can’t fully blame the show itself.

but it’s definitely SA karma.

It obviously wasn’t all his fault, in fact it probably wasn’t even mostly his fault but at the same time he’s a crappy person so he kinda deserves it. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ We hope other cast and the crew find new jobs soon.

[feminist-minimalist]

Psychiatric Wards & Hospitals, My Experiences

I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, a few other things that seem to have been merged into these diagnoses after further context and I've had some odd experiences as psych patient.

First, let me say this: sometimes, they *can* help. They *can* be a way to decompress and stabilize. Everybody's experience is different as is everybody's mental health team and psych ward/hospital rules. This serves as a disclaimer to say that I am not a licensed mental health professional.

That said, I have to say, they are not the best and have served me more bad than good. Let me explain.

The first time, I called the cops on myself. I was angry and distraught that I had tried to seek him out for support because I was feeling really suicidal and depressed about my time with a hostile and toxic work environment. Even though I left, I still felt the effects. The cop was professional, caring, and receptive, to be fair. But..also, a Jordan Peterson follower. So....eh. Not great, but not terrible. I kind of just tuned out. I had a chef's knife to my chest, but called the cops before I took irreversible action. I still can remember how sharp it was, with the tip brushing up against me but also how annoyed I was that I didn't think I could press down hard enough.

So, the hospital. Honestly? I had a mixed experience, but in some ways, kind of was really...all right. I called the cops on myself to get help, and I really did feel connected to the patients there. Food was fucking amazing. I slept a little better. Had some meds. The only bad parts? An annoying conspiracy theorist for COVID as well as a misogynist, and a few other people that I just...honestly felt sorry for but still were these angry balls of addiction. They calmed down after awhile and though they were still struggling, were ok conversationalists. The only bad part? One of the employees there kept saying "he's still your dad", which didn't help though it was meant in a loving way and I took it in the spirit they were implying. Still was invalidating though. The experience after coming home sucked. I was going through it with a bad landlady. I got her fired though. Still sucked to go through.

Next! So the next hospital. Really not great. It was an inpatient/outpatient facility and they knew me on an outpatient basis. Or I thought they did. I never felt respected by them as an abuse survivor. While I did CBT shit, they kept trying to diagnose me with something that was obviously untrue. Doesn't matter what it was now though since I ceased services and really made it clear I wasn't happy with them. This was in Florida during COVID. So. Yeah. That caused some problems considering I was definitely one of those "mask up and vaccinate" types and everyone else really wasn't. It literally caused so much stress with their neglectful attitude towards my very real complaints and concerns that it brought up this trauma from BEFORE Urissa. I had body memories of my Uncle Scott tackling me out of nowhere when I was a toddler. Big drunk guy who was a careless idiot. There were witnesses but I never went to the hospital and no charges were filed even though I was crawling around. I barely could stand after he tackled me. We weren't playing football and I wasn't interested in sports. So...yeah. Anyway.

That was probably the most directly damaging one. The way they framed me was acting out. But I had been repressing this shit FOR YEARS and unsafe people and places were essentially a "get over it" thing for the people I went to for help. They also misdiagnosed me. I had to argue with them to change it. It sucked. I got blamed for things that weren't my fault.

Again though, food was fine. People mostly fine except for some annoying patients and caregivers. But the reasons why I was there was dumb. I felt like I was heightened into a psychotic break *because* caregivers weren't caring. I came back a little better with a new perspective with my trauma finally jostled, but I was gobsmacked by the mistreatment there and at UNF. Wasn't suicidal on admittance, but definitely was in a position to have a full blown PTSD flashback, turned psychotic break. I was there to get permission for a medical withdrawal, which turned out to um...not be needed. Also, UNF campus security was attempting to silence and dismiss my issues. They did that.

Next!

Moved to a different state. Felt the walls closing in after I failed my truck driving skills test and didn't have a plan to return to uni (back at uni now of course though). Confronted poor family support, financial support cut off. Emotional support always nonexistent. So. Here's the thing with that. I had tried to kill myself by starving myself and not drinking water. I went to Lovelace and they said "eh" and threw me out. I tried again. I went to my uni hospital. They checked me out. Did find my vitals to be off and a thyroid problem. Gave me fluids. Sent me to psych hospital. Guess what happened? They turned me away when I called them out on giving me an inappropriate medication! They basically told me "yes, I think you need help, but no inpatient.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I still don't know how to feel about that. I mean. I'm glad I could have my sleep apnea device at home. I'm glad I got some food (still dealing with food insecurity due to being a student and not eligible for food stamps). I'm glad I could masterbate in the privacy of my own home. But still. Food good. I felt really bad. And I was hoping for three square meals til I felt better after my suicide attempt since I had no money, but I had Medicaid!

Anyway, I think the takeaway here is that, yes, in some cases, they can help. But all I can think about are the injustices and annoyances of some of them. I'll say this much. I wasn't comfortable as a sexual assault and rape survivor forced to spend time around other people with no fucking privacy. Other people definitely exposed themselves on purpose and seemed to kind of prod me over that fact. It was deeply violating. Fuck you that One Florida Mental Hospital.

Now there was one time where I went to a psych ward just to get away from Urissa. And I really was having a major dissociative moment where I was like "what the fuck is this chick doing"?!! And that really was just a floor. No privacy. No bed. Just a fucking chair with a table like in a school. Now. I will say this. I loved being away from Urissa. I loved being able to sleep (albeit in a chair like Grandpa Simpson). The burgers and fries for food was good. Really good. But I still was just...not having any space for myself. The caregivers were overworked. But I got some time to decompress from my abusive rapist.

And that's that.

No. You are unlikely to be 100 percent comfortable and unbothered in a psych ward. I wasn't allowed electronics in any of the places I went to, which made it worse, or have any space for myself. I hated not being able to masturbate. But I never just fucking jacked it in the open like some of the other patients I was with. Sometimes you'll deal with people that will not help you get better. The only reason why I'm saying that wellllllll yes, they can be helpful is that if you are someone that has always kind of self-parented, was neglected, but still figured it out, you'll have a space to ponder without those family members that don't help and no school or work to work through it on your own. With That One Florida Mental Hospital, I literally had a psychotic break to help me through it. I've never had psychosis before or after. It was literally just my brain going "LISTEN TO ME, YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED WORK THROUGH IT!!!!" But the fact that they just kind of diagnosed that instead of straight PTSD always irks me.

Also, if you are obese and short, good fucking luck if you went in involuntarily without allowable clothes on the floor. Because when I went in, the scrubs kept breaking and actually exposed me involuntarily and that's not great for people who have been sexually abused and raped.

They really are a mixed bag. And if you wanna get better, you really have to advocate for yourself and make good faith attempts to plead your case if you are unheard.

Good luck with them! You deserve a therapeutic relationship with your caregivers and to be heard on your concerns!

[hella1975]

I think you’re gonna understand this just based on how you’ve written tams so far so I’m saying this to you because I’ve known so many people who are just awful about this but one group of people I’m more fiercely protective over than any other are homeless people. I’ve known so many people who are so hateful towards them and blame them for being homeless or think they’re all drug addicts or crazy which is still like. At that point there should be systems to prevent people that are addicts or mentally ill from ever facing homelessness but either way no one should be homeless, it’s not their fault and it’s a huge punishment for things like “not budgeting”. On top of that I worked at a store where our most stolen product was baby formula at the height of Covid when the prices for them skyrocketed. All of my coworkers were always so infuriating saying that they’re stealing it away from moms to cut their drugs with, none ever considered that maybe they were moms doing anything they could to feed their babies. Anyone who steals food, I never reported or look down on them, they are doing anything they can to feed themselves and I’m not going to stop that. I know how bad homeless shelters are and food banks, I know how common it is for things to be stolen and to get beat up just for being there or raided by police. Sometimes they’d sit outside our store or even shop and my manager wanted me to kick them out. They were never doing anything, most never even asked for money! They needed shade, a roof and ac for a few minutes from the heat or rain! There was a tropical storm once and we were forced to keep the storm open but when homeless people came in they wanted me to kick them out then too, to go where?? They wanted me to throw them back onto the streets in dangerous weather and for what. We got stolen from all the time, genuinely it would’ve made no difference. Most people who stole looked like rich tourists stealing our alcohol or teens stealing makeup but they never said we could kick them out. Likely because they could defend themselves, if nothing less than in court. Maybe it’s because I almost ran away as a kid and I researched into being a homeless child at like 10ish and saw how horrific it was from people who’ve been there before so I stayed home out of fear but I can’t imagine having no sympathy for other people. Even if they steal, how could you blame them? They are just trying to survive. Especially if they steal from Walmarts or targets or whatever, they is about as “ethical stealing” as you can get. I can’t imagine looking at someone who has nothing and does what they can to not starve and just making it to the next day and deciding you hate them and being filled with rage over them being in public. No one would choose that life, I promise they’d love to work and make money if only anyone would hire them. Nothing makes me more filled with rage and sadness than seeing someone hate or be mean and aggressive towards homeless people. The same people have more sympathy over a stray cat than a homeless person and I genuinely don’t understand that

no i completely agree with you on ALL of this it's the basic 'you're closer to becoming homeless than you are to ever becoming a millionaire' like it literally just takes one bad financial turn and that could be you. it really baffles me that if people can't at the very least empathise with homeless people from a humane perspective of the fact they're, oh i dont know, real life actual people with feelings, then you could at least empathise from a self-preservation standpoint because that could be you. that could be you so fucking easily. homeless people have not failed morally to get there. they didn't get judged by some higher power and were found lacking. they are just people. and the same way money breeds money, poverty breeds poverty. if you're homeless, you dont have a home address, which means you can't apply to jobs, which means you can't get an income to GET a home, on and on in a hundred different cycles. it's called the poverty TRAP for a reason.

[bossyuri]

Ima put my random thoughts about SRV in here! It probably won't make much sense but wtv sdfsg

again I haven't placed the last building or conquered the whole map yet, as context, but i did finish the main story aside from that.

So ima start of with thoughts while disregarding how the bugs affected the experience!

Overall, I had a good time! I really enjoyed it. I love the new crew. I loved the focus on friendship. I'd say the story overall is nothing really special though, which I don't think is necesserily a bad thing. Sometimes a chill story packaged in a fun game is good ya know.

I loved finding out bits and pieces about our friends through dialogue, I think that was great, and I really liked that it felt like a solid friend group. Modern Yuri (as I like to colloqually call him lmao) is so much more mellow from having a good support system early on lol. But he's still got some Classic Yuri in him.

The rival gangs I think that thematically, visually, their music and stuff, they were great. I liked them a lot, they had good contrast, their music when you fight them rules. I do think that they were a little underused in the actual story though so they don't quite leave the impact that say, the Syndicate did. The threat they posed felt more theorical than anything you actually see. Again not the worst thing, but I feel like they could've used a bit more time to be more present. (I did like how the Panteros stuff ended because it tied in with other things later though!). Like I think in particular that the collective could have been used a lot more.

That said I did play with looong months-long break for the first quarter of the game so idk how that affected my impression. And the last few missions I think were really, really cool, I really liked them! But I felt like the middle parts after a certain point weren't quite as memorable.

But I don't think it was bad! And the game isn't quite over yet, so I'm looking forward to what's to come.

Also I did like how narratively the game tries to give you a nice fantasy release from a lot of real life issues. I'm sure many people at Volition had to face these frustrations in their lives and it felt like. relatable yknow.

Now though.....so I work in game QA, going on my 7th year, and the game released in....really an unnacceptable state, which was really a bummer and really harmed it. I don't blame the devs. Devs want to give us good games. But they don't control release dates.

and they did not control covid. I know a lot people see covid as an "excuse" to fuck up games but trust me as someone who was working in the industry through it all, it absolutely messed up a *lot* of stuff that you may never know about. My setup from home is still not ideal. And thats not even getting into employee burnout but anyway-

I've had crashes to desktop, blockers in missions (regularly), broken multiplayer (tho i havent had a chance to test it again after patches) needing full game restarts for a variety of reasons (clothes broken, face broken, world stopped populating, quest blocked...) the clothes system still breaks for me after so many months after release (thought its a lot better. i dont fear the stores as much anymore lol). I don't know if it's a quirk of the PC version, but it would have been so much more of a good experience if they had had the time to polish the game more before release. Lots of gamers don't have much patience for this kinda shit, and it's a shame for a game that has a lot of love put into it.

But they're still patching the game, and the QOL changes that they keep adding are really good. The game is a lot more stable for me too so I will definitely keep playing, and I'm hoping that my mental state will allow me to make some fun content from it. I'm still kinda hoping for a steam release sometime so I might get to replay the story again if that happens. Because taking screenshots on epic is a goddamn pain.

So huh anyway. I don't think anyone cares that much but if you've read that far thank you! And also thanks for sticking around with me for so long despite my dropping off the face of the earth in a depression spiral. But I'm still around and Yuri is still around. And Saints Row V is fun!

[dropintomanga]

Thoughts on the Fragmentation of Fandom

Now that summer pop culture convention season is over, it's time to reflect as we're slowly heading to another year.

This year, I really got into K-Pop via 4th-generation girl groups like NewJeans and LE SERRAFIM. KCON LA 2023 happened and while I didn't go, I read how packed and lively the experience minus the crowding, weather, and a number of attendees getting COVID. The article review of KCON LA that I read mentions something I was thinking about - the fragmentation of fandom.

While K-Pop's fanbase is very diverse and inclusive, there are problems facing an industry that seems to be pushing out hit performing acts with little to no problems. One of which is fandom being fragmented (according to a business insider). Algorithms have catered K-Pop lovers to super-specific tastes. It's much harder for new acts to break through compared to years past.

Recently, at San Diego Comic-Con 2023, there was a manga publishers' roundtable panel that discussed a variety of industry topics - one being what will happen with manga in the next few years. Ed Chavez, of DENPA Books, said that there might be consolidation in the manga industry and competition from publishers for titles will really pick up. It's possible that things will become fractured and swallowed up.

Doesn't this sound similar to what's happening with K-Pop today?

Now one might be wondering - "Isn't this great? There's something for everyone no matter what!" There is a problem in that because everyone's interested in their own thing, they won't necessarily check out other things that are under the same umbrella (i.e. Star Trek fans not checking out Doctor Who despite both falling under science fiction). This is due to a variety of factors from being shunned by other fan groups to a general lack of interest in anything but their fandom.

I feel that most fan convention organizers want everyone to stand together united under the same umbrella of fandom because at the end of the day, we're all fans of stuff that has made our lives joyful.

It is hard to reach people when everything is fragmented as hell. I look at the amount of K-Pop groups and manga being put into the eyeballs of U.S. fans and there's a lot to take in. It makes me wonder how are the record labels and manga publishers able to get attention and make ends meet.

In my experience, I found a K-Pop group I truly liked through a very random YouTube video about 2023 hits in the 1st half of the year. For certain manga, I manage to find out about them through the chaos of Twitter most of the time. It's really tough to find stuff if you don't know where to look or have a centralized location for everything related to one topic.

There are database websites that try their best out there, but I don't know. In some ways, they're also fragmented as well. A online manga database may unite everyone in the manga sphere and still be ignored by the greater comics scene in general. If a fan of Western comics wants to check out manga for the 1st time, it can get rough to find what you're looking for because the internet still feels like the Wild West at times due to how specific things have become.

One thing I worry about the most is when diversity, which is sometimes affected by fragmentation, becomes just something to fill in to please people without putting in the effort and resources to promote it. You see this with certain media properties being pushed because they're very friendly towards women/minorities/etc. And when some of them bomb, the executives pushing those works say statements like "Isn't this what you wanted? Well, you fans suck. We're not going to make anymore." But what if you never put any real investment in ensuring the work is actually diverse? What if the process behind the work was terrible in the first place?

I guess I'm saying that fragmentation can lead to fan-blaming and under-resourcing in a very bad way.

In mental health, fragmentation isn't seen as a good thing compared to other parts of life. I try to remind myself that I'm still small in the grand scheme of life and I'm not just a fan of so-and-so. It's also way too easy to get overwhelmed by information we're "supposed" to keep up with.

I just want everyone to remember that despite how different we are, we're all fans of something because life is just hard and we do need moments of escape from it. We've all been shunned for not being a part of what constitutes normal. Those are universal truths we can all admit. We're all fragments that can be pieced together into a communal-made gem where the universal aspects of what make fandom great shine.

[winderlylandchime]

Hi! I hope you’re feeling better after your booster. I remember I felt like I was going to hell and back every hour of the day when I got mine but i agree, way better than covid. I always feel like I forget to reply to literally anything you say and I always feel bad because I swear it’s because of the fact that I’m busy babysitting a grown man. But to respond to some stuff:

Yes, he did accidentally steal a dog. Our mom took the dog to the groomers and he went to pick it up and they gave him who they thought was our dog. Turns out they accidentally made a mistake because there were two dogs that were identical (my mom looked for pics because i refused to believe it but nope, they looked like siblings and they gave them the same grooming style or whatever). He then all confused sent a pic of the dog to mom and was like ‘why is he acting so weird whats up with him?’ And even jokingly blamed her for the reason why the dog hates him bc how dare she groom him. And then they called from the groomers because they realized the mistake. At least it was the same dog and not a completely different one because that would be actually dumb on his part.

Also yes, our parents are going through it because of him. The parts that I don’t tell you guys about are when they text or call me to cuss me out because he’s annoying them. The rest of the family finds it hilarious but they unfortunately get the constant texts and voice memos and calls about a fictional character. Earlier this week (i think it was this week? Time is not real for me anymore, my bad) he woke them up at 3 am because he couldn’t sleep because he had thoughts about Britin. Our dad actually blocked his number for a full day after that which didn’t work because my brother ended up calling his assistant at work and pretended that it was an important family emergency (about him btw!!!! Which is fucked up on so many levels right now) and when dad answered all panicked, he went ‘did you seriously block my number because I asked you if you thought Brian is going to profess his love for Justin?’ So they are tired of him for sure. But i think we all know that this is not going away any time soon.

And yes, he is getting more and more curious about the cast. I think it’s because he knows he’s close to the ending so now he has a ton of questions that he didn’t care for at the start. I’m genuinely leaning towards showing him the out of the box interview and Randy’s podcast. Gale’s because it’s so interesting and since he’s obsessed with him, he’ll probably love learning more about him and with Randy he will be for sure shocked by what Randy is like. And omg I actually almost broke character and had an actual reaction when he lowkey went into RPF territory. I have no clue how we/he ended up here but oh boy. I also weirdly can’t wait for him to find out Gale is straight. Because i swear, this man genuinely has a crush on him and i can no longer tell if it’s in a bromance type of way or not.

And he is feeling a little better but unfortunately he had a tiny setback with his recovery this week which sucks. But he is much better and i can tell because for the past few days he didn’t want to watch new episodes and didn’t even speak much about Brian/Britin (except while rewatching old eps) because he was actually worried he wouldn’t be able to give his full attention and watch it properly. And today he was talking to our uncle about how much Brian has changed in the last season and how he has many thoughts about the last season. Which he still has to share with me. And when he does, best believe I will be here in a heartbeat.

Haha no worries! No one is here to hear about my boring little life. You and your brother are the content people are here for.

I am dying over that dog grooming story. I can see how that could happen. One time when I was very little, I fell asleep at my friend’s house. My parents were coming home late from a date night and had the key to my friend’s apartment to let themselves in and grab me. When they got back out into the hallway (this was in an apartment building) where it was light, they realized they had my friend and not me!

Your brother faked a family emergency so your dad’s assistant would put him through? OH NO! That is a bridge too far. Your parents must be so annoyed and angry.

I think we are ALL wondering if what your brother feels for Gale is bromance or perhaps a little something more.

I am excited to hear your brother’s thoughts on Brian’s growth. I totally get only rewatching until he’s in a place to give his full attention.