#goldenphoenixgirl

[feminist-minimalist]

You Can Care and Still Be Angry at Them

I think the hardest thing about my own personal traumas is that I absolutely see the humanity of my abusers. Take Urissa. Yes, she was a rapist and overall awful human being, but at the same time, I still felt her hurt each time she took a blade to herself and started to take out all her trauma on herself.

Even though Urissa never gave me the space to deal with my own traumas, I still felt it was my duty to give her the space to deal with hers. I was angry at her a lot. For many reasons.

She coerced me into playing a game where she pretended she could get pregnant despite her hatred and abuse towards random kids we would meet. As well as her IUD. I still felt sorry for her trauma with regards to forced abortions and the like. But I was still angry at her for assuming a pro life angle when I knew her better to be pro-choice. I knew she was working through some pretty intense pregnancy trauma at the time. But she didn't have to take out her trauma on me.

Same with drugs and the bodily autonomy angle. Maybe it is her choice to do drugs and to force a hypothetical pregnancy on me to get me to stay with her. Maybe she's just "working through her trauma". But I never signed up for that mess. I knew it was going to be an uphill battle to play the committed boyfriend. But how long was that going to last? Why am I the coerced and forced enabler to her addictions? She literally played the bodily autonomy angle to try to coerce me into buying her heroin and crack cocaine. I refused. But she made me out to be the awful one by saying shit about bodily autonomy and how shitty a boyfriend she thought I was.

I wish I could say that an involuntary admittance to a psych ward would have helped Urissa. But I know the damage that could do. I also knew the damage if I forced medical care on her. So I was often stuck.

I hate Urissa not because she challenged my views on bodily autonomy and not because she was a deeply challenging person. I hate her because she really should have known better than to take out her traumas on me and others. I hate the positions she put me in. I resented her for taking my sleep and feelings of relative safety away. I resented her for a lot of things she did to me that were unfair and traumatizing.

But she still had rights. And I still know that involuntarily committing someone could do more harm than good.

I still don't know if I ever did the right thing with Urissa.

[bondsmagii]

a few things I remember: angrynerdyblogger, accent challenge, tagging every single selfie post with #i am a boy, The Creature, #The Walking D, Gordon Ramsay restaurant tingz, rationing cheese slices, milk curdling, the blog fish you could feed, goldenphoenixgirl, The Vanishing feat. a blank blog and a few lines (assuming it was a poem)

this is like my own personalised version of We Didn’t Start The Fire and it’s what’s playing in the elevator as I descend into hell.

[hestiasroom]

anyone been on here long enough to remember goldenphoenixgirl? what a freaking trip that was

[oceanic--mess]

Back during the goldenphoenixgirl shit I was one of the angry 'how dare you' messagers. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I thought I was standing up for someone but I was just being manipulated into harassing someone over a non-existent "poor urissa being doubted" narrative and wildly overstepping in the process. The fact she was linking someones' ask box should absolutely have been a red flag. I don't have the tumblr account anymore but I think I harassed you on magicalbiscuits

Holy shit, this was so long ago. I forgot about all that. I think i was 14 or 15 at the time, so I don't know if I really had any right to say anything on the subject at all, but her being a grown ass adult definitely shouldnt have tried to get thousdands of people to harass me for saying there were holes in her story.

It takes a lot to come to me about it, years later, and if you'd like to speak privately I'm more than happy to do so :) I hope you're doing okay, now.

[bondsmagii]

top 10 pieces of INTERNET DRAMA

god I don’t even know if I have 10 pieces that I can even talk about let’s see what I can do

everything that happens with sixpenceee tbh I’m living

when myself and @karlacton took down goldenphoenixgirl

BONE STEALING

covfefe

dashcon

all that shit surrounding the bear and the police officer

“buy my silence. permanently.”

fyre festival

when I got booted out of an admin position on a sideblog and the site owner lost her shit and tried to frame me for sending hate to a five-day old baby, somehow

ngl… the thac drama. that was wild

wow what do you know I managed it without violating any non-disclosure agreements 

[greenassin]

Does not Golden Phoenix Girl have 2 sisters?

I honestly don’t know. I don’t know much about her family. I didn’t delve into her nonsense as deeply as some of the other people rallying against her did. I mainly reblogged things other bloggers were posting and transcribed her gross video.

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 2.5: Whore Slap

...I recant this. What I wrote here was toxic to both my readers and myself.

The original post is still here if you wish (because I do not want to run away from my mistakes), but I do not want the original post in plain view anymore.

[ghostie-pie]

just tried going to urissa/GPG/dirty fucking liar's blog and it's been turned into an "archive of her statements"; it's being run by a few mods and i don't really know what's going on. anyone know where she went?

[non-binaryjustice-archive]

I am not interested in messages about GPG. As a victim of much less serious abuse, I can see the signs of abuse. I have known people who have lied about abuse and I can tell the difference. You all have been very immature with this, and for your sake I hope it's not too late for her. You all disgust me and I am not interested in you trying to convince me that she's some kind of liar.

[greenassin]

Any follow up from goldenphoenixgirl? I still have her sisters facebook url and always wonder if she teuly did everything urissa claimed, and if so are her children being abused :/

I haven’t heard anything about gpg since the hype died down, nor do I know anything about her sister. Her original blog still belongs to the person archiving everything and the two known url’s that she fled to have nothing on them.

The only person I’ve heard anything about child abuse on was the blogger that was initially involved in bringing gpg’s abusive behavior to light. The accusation was made that she was abusing her children because she disagreed with something gpg was saying and as per the norm gpg tried turning it into an attack instead of taking responsibility for the shit she was spewing. As far as I can tell that woman’s children are in no danger. I’ve seen much more support for her parenting skill than I have condemnation of them, so I think it was just gpg trying to start a witch hunt so that the attention would be drawn away from her own bullshit.

I don’t know anything about her sister, but judging by everything that’s been brought to light about Urissa I have some real doubts that anyone she’s accusing of anything is actually guilty of the claims.

[goldenphoenixgirl]

Update:

GPG seems to be wiping her blog (theresalwaysalwayssomething). It can still be viewed by adding /mobile to the end of the url, and so far the posts are showing from September. She's either privatising all of her posts, or, more likely, deleting them.

Should she delete everything, this blog will become inactive, unless she reappears or comes back. Our goal was to out her abusive behaviour, and if she vanishes from Tumblr, she's no longer harming anyone. I know I don't want to chase her any further than that, and I doubt the other moderators do, either.

The blog will, however, remain up as an archive. -A

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 2: Under the Influence

Consideering how Phoenix got into heavy detail in not only her tale of woe but also research in all the aspects of prostitution, especially their flaws (Why should there be a lower boundary of prostituted girls? Then again, why should the studies focus on prostituted girls instead of boys?), obviously, her blog imprinted upon me.

One of the biggest is having anti-molestation fantasies. Because I want to maintain at least some purity of my mind, I initially exercised prevention... instead of imagining the rapes, I imagined (totally different) people screaming 'plasmids!' whenever a rape was supposed to occur. Obviously, this workaround was too confusing, especially since I had to imagine the rapes if I were to understand the writing. Instead, I did 'necessary-damage control': I mentally rewinded the scene and imagined that certain charactes rescued Phoenix. These include:

The Batter from Off and Jo-taro- Ku-jo- from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, both because the mental images of The Batter purifying the rapists or Star Platinum's rapid-punching the rapists were satisfying.

Mituru Kirizyo- from Persona 3 not only because of the above reason (Mituru's executing the rapists), but also because Mituru is a girl (Phoenix would be far more confortable with a girl), thus making Mituru my avenger of choice

Pangoro from Pokémon because Pangoro stands by the weak

Yamada Hihumi from Trigger Happy Havoc because of how he is extremely anti-rape

(Jo-suke Higasikata made one appearance at the story where Phoenix' anti-father was force-feeding Phoenix her birth cirtificate. In the altered story, Jo-suke prevented the anti-father from raping Phoenix, but the anti-father ripped up the birth certificate. Before the anti-father could force-feed the certificate, Crazy Diamond restored the certificate. Of course, I had the anti-father insult Jo-suke's hair and Jo-suke subsequently beat up the anti-father.)

I also imagined my own fantasies of me rescuing babies from getting molested in public, or again, of me rescuing whores. The way I do so depended on the fantasy: at times, I tried to stick with the most realistic means possible; at other times, I pretended that I could transform into anything.

Back to Phoenix, I also fantasised of having some type of memory-recovery machine that would automatically take all of her prostitution memories from her mind (thus neutralising the falshbacks, since the memories are in the machine instead of in Phoenix) yet have them accessible whenever Phoenix wants to see a repressed memory. In other words, this machine would give Phoenix complete control over both her flashbacks and repressed memories.

On Phoenix' anti-parents, I wanted them to be punished... hard. At the very least, I wanted to have millstones tied to their necks and thrown into the sea. Ideally, I wanted them to undergo every execution in the Danganronpa series... including the unused ones... including one specifically-mades to the anti-parents. In fact, back then, whenever I needed 'to blow off steam', I wrote down how realistic/feasible would each execution be on the anti-parents. Then again, I wished that The Batter would purify all of the rapists, especially johns and pimps.

Even my real-life actions were affected; I took special notice on whether Puerto Rico had anything against prostitution. Then again, whenever I read of humanitarian efforts in the Internet (especially in LifeSiteNews), I kept thinking 'What about victims of prostitution?' After all, this horrible problem is so under-represented!

The most surprising part is the way Phoenix influenced my views on abortion. I wanted the baby to be born, but there was a comic that Phoenix uploaded where the same anti-aborters who fought against the woman being aborted could not care less about the health care, education, and housing of the baby while the baby grew up. When the now-impovershed now-a-woman was going to get an abortion due to the crushing circumstances of her life, the anti-aborts once again fought against the abortion. While I still wanted the baby to be born, Phoenix's uploading the comic widened my pespective to the events that happen after the baby was born. Of that point I was grateful.

Even so, not everything was pretty. I could not enjoy birthdays (due to me being reminded of Phoenix's birthday rapes) or Sonic the Hedgehog (due to Sonic being one of Phoenix's triggers) and, in fact, felt guilty about the idea of enjoying these. On less petty matters, I got worried that a molestation was happening whenever I have heard a young one cry/scream in public! I even went to the young one because I wanted my own confirmation in that a molestation was not happening! The biggest part was that, despite the safeguards I have implemented, the horrifying mental images required of reading the stories had stained my brain!

Then again, this was reality...

[steprightovertheline]

As a former loyal GPG follower, all I'm saying is, she had a public facebook account using her real name and location, with a link to her blog's soundcloud.  I know other followers were worried sick about this whole thing (as was I at first), but given the fact that all of this information (including her exact address in CA) was already readily available, I doubt Ivy/GPG is in any more danger from her family/private investigators now than she was before it was on tumblr.

On the other hand, people contacting her family directly? That's going way too far, and actually could put someone in danger.