#TheresAlwaysAlwaysSomething

[guyghoul]

I wonder how all of those rape/harassment cases that became public around this time would affect Golden Phoenix Girl... did not one of her stories involve a senator? Also, was not one fundamental concept behind her stories her anti-parents rapind and whoring out her?

I wonder how things would have happened has she gave her stories around this time...

[greenassin]

Does not Golden Phoenix Girl have 2 sisters?

I honestly don’t know. I don’t know much about her family. I didn’t delve into her nonsense as deeply as some of the other people rallying against her did. I mainly reblogged things other bloggers were posting and transcribed her gross video.

[bondsmagii]

Wait, who was Golden Phoenix Girl? Is she another creepy blog or something like Marble Hornets that got really weird and disappeared?

Unfortunately not. She was a person on here who was very abusive and just not a very nice person to be around. She claimed she was a support and resource blog for abuse survivors, but she treated everyone very badly, and it eventually came to light that she’d been invalidating and abusing many of the people who came to her for help. After she got her followers to send hate to a minor for asking a perfectly reasonable question, a signal boost written by my friend went around, and as more people came forward to mention the abuse she’d put them through, she wiped her blog and left Tumblr.

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 2.5: Whore Slap

...I recant this. What I wrote here was toxic to both my readers and myself.

The original post is still here if you wish (because I do not want to run away from my mistakes), but I do not want the original post in plain view anymore.

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 2: Under the Influence

Consideering how Phoenix got into heavy detail in not only her tale of woe but also research in all the aspects of prostitution, especially their flaws (Why should there be a lower boundary of prostituted girls? Then again, why should the studies focus on prostituted girls instead of boys?), obviously, her blog imprinted upon me.

One of the biggest is having anti-molestation fantasies. Because I want to maintain at least some purity of my mind, I initially exercised prevention... instead of imagining the rapes, I imagined (totally different) people screaming 'plasmids!' whenever a rape was supposed to occur. Obviously, this workaround was too confusing, especially since I had to imagine the rapes if I were to understand the writing. Instead, I did 'necessary-damage control': I mentally rewinded the scene and imagined that certain charactes rescued Phoenix. These include:

The Batter from Off and Jo-taro- Ku-jo- from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, both because the mental images of The Batter purifying the rapists or Star Platinum's rapid-punching the rapists were satisfying.

Mituru Kirizyo- from Persona 3 not only because of the above reason (Mituru's executing the rapists), but also because Mituru is a girl (Phoenix would be far more confortable with a girl), thus making Mituru my avenger of choice

Pangoro from Pokémon because Pangoro stands by the weak

Yamada Hihumi from Trigger Happy Havoc because of how he is extremely anti-rape

(Jo-suke Higasikata made one appearance at the story where Phoenix' anti-father was force-feeding Phoenix her birth cirtificate. In the altered story, Jo-suke prevented the anti-father from raping Phoenix, but the anti-father ripped up the birth certificate. Before the anti-father could force-feed the certificate, Crazy Diamond restored the certificate. Of course, I had the anti-father insult Jo-suke's hair and Jo-suke subsequently beat up the anti-father.)

I also imagined my own fantasies of me rescuing babies from getting molested in public, or again, of me rescuing whores. The way I do so depended on the fantasy: at times, I tried to stick with the most realistic means possible; at other times, I pretended that I could transform into anything.

Back to Phoenix, I also fantasised of having some type of memory-recovery machine that would automatically take all of her prostitution memories from her mind (thus neutralising the falshbacks, since the memories are in the machine instead of in Phoenix) yet have them accessible whenever Phoenix wants to see a repressed memory. In other words, this machine would give Phoenix complete control over both her flashbacks and repressed memories.

On Phoenix' anti-parents, I wanted them to be punished... hard. At the very least, I wanted to have millstones tied to their necks and thrown into the sea. Ideally, I wanted them to undergo every execution in the Danganronpa series... including the unused ones... including one specifically-mades to the anti-parents. In fact, back then, whenever I needed 'to blow off steam', I wrote down how realistic/feasible would each execution be on the anti-parents. Then again, I wished that The Batter would purify all of the rapists, especially johns and pimps.

Even my real-life actions were affected; I took special notice on whether Puerto Rico had anything against prostitution. Then again, whenever I read of humanitarian efforts in the Internet (especially in LifeSiteNews), I kept thinking 'What about victims of prostitution?' After all, this horrible problem is so under-represented!

The most surprising part is the way Phoenix influenced my views on abortion. I wanted the baby to be born, but there was a comic that Phoenix uploaded where the same anti-aborters who fought against the woman being aborted could not care less about the health care, education, and housing of the baby while the baby grew up. When the now-impovershed now-a-woman was going to get an abortion due to the crushing circumstances of her life, the anti-aborts once again fought against the abortion. While I still wanted the baby to be born, Phoenix's uploading the comic widened my pespective to the events that happen after the baby was born. Of that point I was grateful.

Even so, not everything was pretty. I could not enjoy birthdays (due to me being reminded of Phoenix's birthday rapes) or Sonic the Hedgehog (due to Sonic being one of Phoenix's triggers) and, in fact, felt guilty about the idea of enjoying these. On less petty matters, I got worried that a molestation was happening whenever I have heard a young one cry/scream in public! I even went to the young one because I wanted my own confirmation in that a molestation was not happening! The biggest part was that, despite the safeguards I have implemented, the horrifying mental images required of reading the stories had stained my brain!

Then again, this was reality...

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 1.5: Her... Troubles

(Please note that I skip a lot of stuff that Golden Phoenix Girl had put in her story. Also, I try to achieve a balance of detail. After all, I still want this blog to be work-safe at least!)

At the footstep of a couple were three babies that were abandoned. Let me call them 'Phoenix' (in other words, 'Golden Phoenix Girl'), 'Suzaku', and 'Fenq Hwang'. The couple rejected Fenq Hwang because Fenq Hwang was of partial African descent. However, Fenq Hwang seemed to have had the better fate.

The couple were prostituters of children. Phoenix and Suzaku were their main victims.

They (both the anti-father and the anti-mother) were raped for hours every day, up to 19 years of age, alongside with violence, death-threats, and other forms of verbal abuse. The anti-parents raped them with not only their own bodies, but also objects... sometimes sharp objects! They even Biblically justified their abuse! Again, during the rapes, they insincerely said that they 'loved' the children, though most of the stuff the anti-parents were on the lines of 'You should have been aborted, not adopted' or 'I was your first.'. Adding to this despair is their forcing Phoenix and Suzaku to repeat the negative affirmations ('Ycu are worthless'...) to themselves. They would raise their rapes if Phoenix anduzaku involuntarily orgasmed. If they did something 'wrong' – one example being crying or their jaws locking up –, the anti-parents would raise the abuse. (That did not stop Phoenix from dissociating, though.) They also engaged in birthday-rapes (even saying 'Happy Birthday!' at the worst times) and Christmas-rapes. Even then, they, at times, said that other families are going to be worse to Phoenix and Suzaku than their own anti-parents! That did not prevent Phoenix literally praying in desire of death every night, though.

The children learned how to read and guess how to best comply with their anti-parents. Things got so bad; when Phoenix noticed her anti-father getting swelling feelings of rage and stress, Phoenix would pre-emptively 'seduce' her anti-father in hopes of getting a rape that would hopefully be smaller than the rape that would have happened had Phoenix 'let' her anti-father 'explode!' Then again, not even rage and seduction would be the only 'reasons' why they raped Phoenix and Suzaku: they made up excuses on how, say, Phoenix had 'slutty' make-up. Phoenix could not even play to her anti-father (who was, by the way, functionally naked) a piano song without her anti-father raping her!

(I want to mention here an odd case where the anti-father 'made love' to Phoenix... which was, in result, a 'kinder, gentler' rape. There were less – though by no means absent – insults, violence, and other abuse, but the anti-father kissed Phoenix 'lovingly' and literally slept with Phoenix after the rape.)

They both abused Phoenix and Suzaku... at times even forcing Phoenix and Suzaku to rape and abuse each other! (Fortunately, Suzaku had autism and therefore was relatively unaware of how bad the rapes were, even when Phoenix told Suzaku. Years would pass before Suzaku would stop completely, though.) Even then, one anti-parent would rape a child while the other anti-parent would warn the other child using that rape!

The anti-parents were surprisingly effective in keeping control on the children, though: at times, they told the children to forgive the anti-parents... the Biblical way to live, of course. A derivative of this was telling – soothingly – the children of the 'Sea of Forgetfulness' that would drown away the bad memories they had. After all, if Jesus forgave and forgot, then why not forgive themselves and forget their rapes because of what Phoenix 'made' their anti-parents do? Would remembering be crucifying Jesus all over again? Given how desperate Phoenix was of having been in a loving situation, she was instantly receptive to the hypnosis her anti-father called the Sea of Forgetfulness. Even to the present day, Phoenix subconsciously returned to the sea of forgetfulness if a recovered memory became too painful.

The anti-mother abused Phoenix in other ways: other than manipulating Phoenix with warnings that her anti-father would rape her (the anti-mother having practically complete control over the anti-father), the anti-mother also deliberately poisoned her milk and forced Phoenix to drink the milk. Another issue is that the anti-mother deliberately placed applesauce where a hungry Phoenix could not reach. I think the anti-mother even ate food in front of a hungry Phoenix without feeding her! She also once locked Phoenix in a secluded area and denied Phoenix her (unpoisoned?) milk bottle until Phoenix, then a baby, pronounced 'bottle' instead of 'baba'. The dying Phoenix sat there, collecting empty bottles. Her anti-father came and let her say 'baba'... while waving a certain part of the body in front of her.

A similar situation had her anti-mother prepare chicken. My details are a little confusing here, but, when the anti-father raped Phoenix on the table, the anti-mother was upset that they would ruin the chicken the anti-mother was preparing! There was no care of Phoenix!

Compounding this despair was the fact that the anti-parents were pimps: they sold off Phoenix and Suzaku to tonnes of men who continued with the rapes and other obscene things, even arguing over the prices (which did not reach even 100 USD) in front of her, thus negatively impacting Phoenix with the idea that her own body parts had a price... which were only worth pleasuring johns. The johns were ecstatic, even outright saying to Phoenix that the johns could do to Phoenix things that the johns were not allowed to do with the own wives of the johns! A senator 'bought' Phoenix one time! Once again, Phoenix could not simply stay still and 'just take in' the rapes; Phoenix had to actively engage in the johns and guess their interests! The result was that, even at 2 years of age, she became excellent at 'serving' johns. She had to lie about her age... whether she lied about being older or younguer! Even worse, one john forced drugs on Phoenix! The anti-parents even managed to let the johns take Phoenix and Suzaku to the places where the johns lived. One john even had a 'pain room', which has just a broken mattress where the rapes happened. In that room was another child-whore killed. Phoenix had to carry the dead body. In fact, death had a notable presence during the life of a pimp: when a john ended up harming Phoenix 'too harshly', threatening 'damaged goods', Phoenix could hear the fight, and subsequent gunshot(s), her anti-father had with the john. (If Phoenix was damaged, her anti-father either 'fixed' up Phoenix himself or sent Phoenix to a 'veterinarian'. Both forms of 'fixing up' Phoenix were Worst Aid; she got back to being raped even during recovery!)

Of course, the anti-parents were not involved with just the children. They even dealt with little boys! Or again, even Phoenix' anti-grandfater raped her!

Outside this life of prostitution, their lives were still filled with misery. Her anti-mother sent her to The Missionettes (I think), a 'Christian' clone of the Girl Scouts. Phoenix was raped there, too. At times, Phoenix was forbidden to wear clothes. At another time, Phoenix had to fetch a knife in the stead of her anti-father.

She had escape at school, but the classmates turned against her. Her anti-father even managed to get away with a bit of harassment near school in front of some of Phoenix' classmates!

Later, Phoenix, in her adolescence, was in charge of other adolescents that were going to be prostituted. She managed to make things relatively safe, but her anti-uncle caused trouble, even getting close to getting married to Phoenix! The anti-father got into a fight with the anti-uncle, thus cancelling those plans, but blamed, and subsequently punished, Phoenix. The anti-uncle was eventually killed by the mafia, albeit at least a decade later.

The surprise was that Phoenix only underwent pregnancy twice. and had no venereal diseases; the anti-father had a vasectomy and made sure that he and his johns only enforced sodomy.

Despite these horrors, the anti-parents were shielded of suspicion, no matter where they went. (They moved a lot). The anti-father was a former veteran who preached at the local church. The anti-mother was an assistant of the anti-father (I think) at church. Society respected them, despite their evil dealings. The two were so preoccupied with keeping up appearances: they even sent Phoenix off to the same college to which her anti-mother went. (Even there, a female member on campus abused and raped Phoenix, not only interrupting Phoenix' suicide attempt, but also managing to provoke a mental age-regression on Phoenix.)

Even so, when her anti-father preached against raped, he winked at Phoenix, thus signalling about the rapes her anti-father was going to force upon Phoenix... again. Then again, at the same church, she was engaged in a form of ritual that heavily suggested 'theistically Satanic' which ended up having her locked in a coffin. Later, she was let out... but the minister commanded Phoenix to repent her 'making' the ministers rape her!

...simply stand up against her parents? She tried that once... which, surprisingly, worked for around a month.

...call the police? Even when Phoenix did overcome the fear the anti-parents imposed on her and even if the police did bother with checking them, the anti-parents were so good at covering up; the police checked with the anti-parents and not the children then concluded that everything was fine. Once they left, the anti-parents had their anger wrought and took out their angers on Phoenix.

...call other people? Suzaku warned another church leader, who appeared to understand... until, another day, when Phoenix was alone, the church leader, alongside the other workers at the church, raped Phoenix, then joined hands in prayer where they pleaded God's forgiveness on Phoenix 'making' them rape her. Phoenix even saw a statue of Christ, who appeared to be disappointed in Phoenix. This whole even made Phoenix angry of Suzaku over the peril Suzaku risked Phoenix.

...run away? She did manage to overcome the manipulation the anti-parents imposed on her, but she realised that she did not have any place to go. She was not one to just run away without caring of the destination.

There was a happy ending, though: after 19 years of age, she managed to get into a relationship with someone named 'Dan'. After Dan witnessed the abuse Phoenix undertook, Dan managed to get her out of there.

This ending ended up bitter-sweet, though: the anti-mother kept dropping off 'gifts' at Phoenix' doorstep in hopes of getting Phoenix to return to the house of her anti-parents. Also, the anti-mother, knowing that Phoenix still had some legal issues that bound her to her anti-mother, kept sending out manipulative e-mails that had code phrases – some Biblical – and subsequently almost managed to hypnotise Phoenix into returning. (To people who had played Bioshock, would you kindly remember?) The anti-mother even merely had to say to Phoenix 'One... two...' if the anti-mother wanted to have Phoenix return to the anti-mother. (The anti-mother, at times, was in the physical vicinity of Phoenix.) The anti-father is even worse: at one time, her anti-father managed to break in the house, rape her, and force-feed her birth certificate.

(This would not have mattered, anyways: Phoenix found her own birth mother, who was just an abusive alcoholic who did not care about Phoenix. In fact, alcohol was involved when the birth mother was pregnant with Phoenix. The birth mother was going to have an abortion, but the birth mother was in an ti-abortion state.)

Even ruling out the current abuses, Phoenix still got a mess of flashbacks that forced her to relive her past abuses... even the ones that Suzaku inflicted! Phoenix was also very easily triggered into those flashbacks. Barring that, she could not leave the house due to her crippling agoraphobia! Phoenix also got alcoholism and anorexia! Yet another problem was that Dan turned out to be abusive! Fortunately, Raymond, a kinder man, took the place of Dan.

[guyghoul]

After organizing my thoughts on Golden Phoenix Girl...

Whoa! I had a lot more subjects stored than I thought!

...

...at least these would make good practise of my new keyboard layout...

[guyghoul]

Pls post more GPG stuff (this isn't the same anon as before, btw. I imagine quite a few people are secretly wanting to read more because her downfall was so crazy dramatic and people trusted her.)

Thankfully, I am in that process. The thing is that there is a lot to recall and organise. I confirm that I shall follow this series from my discovery to her downfall.

[guyghoul]

The Golden Phoenix Girl – Part 1: Death of a Phoenix

Do you know about trigger warnings? At the very least, you might had come up against them, especially if you resided in Tumblr in a considerable amount of time. The idea of triggers is quite scary: just about anything that you say could knock a victim of trauma back in time, forcing the victim to relive the abuse. Because of this, you probably wanted to avoid trauma-victims whenever possible out of fear of harming them severely.

Of course, if everyone followed that thought, trauma-victims would be despairingly lonely. Is there not a better way of dealing with this?

One day, I found a link that seemed to solve that issue: how victims can handle being triggered and communicate their being triggered while others learn how to avoid triggers while talking to the victims. What a find! However, after reading through the post, my curiosity was aroused (that's what she said). I mean, the subtitle of the blog called Golden Phoenix Girl a formerly prostituted child! What happened?

...terror.

The stories about her being prostituted until the age of 19 were relatively non-graphic, yet my mind, attempting to make sense of the posts, ended up filling in the gruesome details. Her being in a relatively innocuous situation only to be pulled into horrible rapes before being left at despair had me experience despair of my own. At the same time, I felt a rage at the abusers, especially at Golden Phoenix Girl's anti-parents—I refused to call them 'parents'— who not only prostituted their daughter but also raped her themselves! Adding to this is the fact that they made up 'excuses' on why they raped her: ranging from Golden Phoenix Girl putting on 'slutty' makeup to her supposedly 'liking' the rapes. Even ruling out the rapes that both anti-parents did, there is also the other kinds of abuse they did, ranging from regularly poisoning their daughter to punishing her (whether through deprivation of nourishment or infliction of more rapes) because of her inability to speak properly! Making this worse is the fact that Golden Phoenix Girl had a sister that was not only inflicted into similar despairs but also was forced to rape and otherwise harm Golden Phoenix Girl herself, who was forced to do the same to her own sister!

Despite the obviously poisonous content of her blog, I kept reading through her blog, including her story, almost daily.

After all, this was reality.

Reality may not be pretty, but I would be better off facing reality, regardless of its ugliness.

[guyghoul]

No GPG confession post? :(

I had been thinking about how to write about this subject today! Please do not worry; I should conjure something tonight.

[guyghoul]

Still waiting for the goldenphoenixgirl goods!

Congratulations! I finished reviewing the main material (and some extras) about Golden Phoenix Girl! The confessions should start this week! (This would make great practise of typing with this new layout, too...)

[guyghoul]

*hic*

I read all of both transcripts. I think I am done reading about Golden Phoenix Girl... I am currently in better position of writing my confessions...

Oaaaaaaa... I simply wanted to be complete...

[guyghoul]

Uf...

There is so much stuff about Golden Phoenix Girl that I am re-reading... I am remembering a lot of stuff that I want to add to my confessions...

...just a few extra days, my audience...

[guyghoul]

What confessions did you have about GPG, you haven't made any posts about her since saying that you would. It has been a long time since I've heard about her so I must admit I'm interested.

Things were pressing due to my studies and my training of discipline. I have a lot of opinions on her, though.

[guyghoul]

Her Caucasian sister. She even had her friended on facebook before everything she blew up and she deleted her online existence. I'd even seen them interacting on facebook....

Frankly, there are two answers. If Urissa is truthing, then yes. If Urissa is lying, then no. I mean, in the 'liar' case, her Caucasian sister would merely be having a normal childhood with Urissa. I doubt that Urissa's lying directly involved her Caucasian sister herself.

[guyghoul]

I know it's weird but I caught Urissa's sister's name and her facebook page. I've checked it once or twice and see all of these pictures of her children and I get this wave of nausea after all of the things Urissa accused her of. Do you think her sister aided in the rape/abuse? I can't help but worry for those kids...

Which sister: the Caucasian one or the African one? Recall that Urissa had a Caucasian sister who was supposedly prostituted alongside Urissa and an African sister who was supposedly 'spared'.