#I am willing to answer questions relating to the situation and talk about my own experiences. I'm just tired

[antonblastdeluxe]

[spoiltizzy]

Aside from Izzy, Ed, and Stede, what, if any, other OFMD characters do you have an interest in seeing gain?

In addition, do you tend to favor certain branches (ik there's def a better word but I am like 3 mins away from bed so my brain is off rn) of feedism over another for particular characters, or do your interests remain fairly steady across the board (ex: prefer to see character A getting hand fed, have a thing for character b burping, seeing stretch marks on C, vs liking to see the same scenarios for a, b, and c)?

I was in the pub when I got this and I’ve been thinking about it but that doesn’t mean my answer is going to be any less rambly than usual sorry haha. I talk about dubcon scenarios in this more than I usually would, so. Just a warning. Um, I did once write sprizzy, but unfortunately at this point I’m sort of more in the Stede, Ed, and Izzy fandom than the OFMD fandom, if that makes any sense. You’d think that I’d be more interested in the heavier characters in OFMD, given my kink, I guess? Or more interested in other characters for other reasons. I mean, Fang has his tummy out all the time, and Roach seems to be quite a passionate chef. But I connected the most with Stede, Ed, and Izzy, and sadly the other characters really just do not scratch my brain, and there are some of them that I actually really dislike, like Ricky and Jack.

Jack, at least, I’d be willing to have horny thoughts about, but the situations I mentally put him in are all sort of demeaning and humiliating towards him. Sometimes worse. Maybe there’s a market for that, haha, idk. I didn’t understand hate sex until I read a CJ fanfic one time. I find him so annoying that I’d do kinky things to him but in a demeaning way, which is weird, because normally this kink is, if not always soft, usually at least sort of loving for me. It’s almost the only time that I have any interest in gaining being used in a genuine humiliation or punishment way, rather than anything of that sort being just roleplay between characters who actually love each other. Even when I think about Izzy being humiliated or feminized in a humiliating way, which is a weird kink of mine but hey, I grew up in a society full of gender roles so I’m allowed to have kinks about shit that’s been a part of my upbringing’s culture, usually I imagine that the people doing that to him have a lot of affection towards him, whereas any cuteness Stede or Ed saw in Jack in the scenarios in my head is in an actually condescending way with no respect for him. In fact the scenario sort of rests on them approaching the exchange with animosity towards him, which probably makes this my most controversial horny fantasy about pirates. Still, just because I find Jack annoying and don’t like him, I doubt I’d ever actually be able to write a fic or draw any art of this scenario or of chubby Jack or any of that. I don’t like the guy, the only satisfaction I get from thinking about him is either in this weird fucked up capacity, OR in a very very specific scenario involving Stede which I’ll get to later, because I think it’s kinda related to the second part of the question.

Given I am mostly only interested in my three favourite pirates, I can only really answer that second part of the question in relation to them, so I hope that’s ok. But yeah, there are different things that I like best for different characters.

I tend to favour Izzy in I guess what you’d describe as more submissive roles. That doesn’t necessarily always mean him being bigger. For example, the idea of a fat Stede and Ed feeding Izzy because their baseline for what he should weigh is thrown off by their own ideas of how big someone should be, given what they’ve done to themselves. Izzy also tends to be the only one who I’d put in more dubcon situations, like… force-feeding (though it’s worth noting I want him to secretly enjoy it) or weird fantasy intox scenarios where he’s being fattened up and might not be fully aware of it. He’s also my favourite pick for being the spoiled pet out of the three. In general, though I adore Izzy, he’s unfortunately the one that I tend to put in the weirdest most demeaning scenarios of the three. I have also been guilty of making him so fucking stupid because I think it’s funny, cute, and sometimes a little hot in the right scenarios. Like, if the crew realises giving Izzy food shuts him up and he has no idea why it’s happening and doesn’t realise he’s getting fat because of it, or, like I said, in weird fantasy intox scenarios where he’s just… not especially aware of what’s happening. He likes it, though. And he’s always very very loved. The only scenario I can imagine Izzy being somewhat akin to dominant in is just under the circumstances in which he’s petting Ed’s hair and saying sweet comforting things to Ed while Ed “some kind of mommy issues probably” Teach nuzzles and mouths and sucks on Izzy’s tits. Um. What can I say, dude, I’m a weirdo.

Ed’s really hot, and though he may not be suave at heart, he’s capable of acting all cool and sexy and stuff, and for some reason that kinda inspires the desire to see him be completely unabashed about his gain more than I want to see that with either of the others. Or even perhaps unaware of it, or at least acting unaware of it. Ed’s the sort of person where I can totally see him always eating whatever the fuck he wants, and then one day his metabolism really starts to slow down but he keeps eating like always and it just doesn’t occur to him that gaining weight is ever on the agenda. Sneaks up on him because he’s never worried about managing his weight in his life, so he’s not prepared for getting a little older and his sweet tooth having consequences all of a sudden. But I don’t think he’d be ashamed when he realised he was getting chubby, or at least he definitely wouldn’t if he realised Stede and Izzy liked it. And because he’s never had any shame about his food choices, he remains shameless about his sweet tooth and his appetite. That’s a specific fantasy I have quite regularly about Ed, but wouldn’t necessarily put to any of the other characters. And this is related to intox more than tummy, but this is my kink blog so I’ll just say whatever I want on it, but I also sort of like the idea of an Ed who somehow still expects his alcohol tolerance to be what it was when he was in his 20s and partying a lot— I imagine this is sort of just Ed lore in every universe, lol, in some context. Even if “partying” was just getting drunk with Jack on pirate versions of shore leave or something. So he might overdo it and then just insist, while tripping over his words a little and hiccuping, that he wasn’t drunk. But not cause he’s lying, just because he genuinely didn’t expect to be drunk already, and he’s a cute silly billy who thinks he isn’t drunk. Ed’s versatile. He can be a good kitty or a sweetheart who deserves to be spoiled or he can be the kraken demanding to be fed more with a gun in his hand. He can be using his appetite and his pudgy belly to fluster Stede or Izzy on purpose, or he can be so unprepared to have gained weight but so unabashed about his cropped tops and appetite he’s doing it accidentally.

Stede’s a funny one because I usually make him slightly more dominant than the others, in a soft way, in my head. Though that is NOT a rule. I will write flustered or submissive Stede or Stede being teased sometimes. I like a lot of things for Stede, I love it when he feeds another character or fattens them up, I love it when he has those desires and he executes them, but obviously mutual gaining is a really big thing for me so I like him to gain and/or be pudgy too. Though I always want Stede a bit chubby, and usually pudgier than he canonically is by a notable amount, I don’t necessarily feel a need for him to be as big as the others, whereas if I were writing a scenario where Ed or Izzy were not as fat as Stede I would want them to catch up or surpass Stede in weight/size. Maybe it’s because I relate more to Stede, but I tend to give him the most feedery role in my head and though I don’t mind the thought of him catching up or matching the others if they were gaining, I don’t have anywhere near as much of a desire to see him surpass the others. Ed or Izzy on the other hand I would love to see surpass the others. I know I’ve just repeated myself but oh well.

Also, though I like it when all of them burp, I have more of a thing for Stede burping. It’s odd because to me it counts as a sort of subversion of expectations that I adore applying to Stede, but it’s hard to explain exactly why. After all, Stede’s not exactly polite. I guess, though, that he doesn’t come across as gross or messy, so the idea of Stede burping aloud, or aloud in front of others, unabashedly, or letting out rather loud/big burps is kinda hot to me BECAUSE Stede… though he’s willing to pick up pickled noses in his bare hands or dig around in the dirt, he doesn’t have gross vibes, or the vibes of a man who would burp aloud.

That’s where that other Jack fantasy comes in, actually. It’s purely this: I think it would be sort of hot, if say, Jack and Ed were drinking beer and trying to one-up each other’s burps, you know, like the frat boys they were, and Stede just. Got fed up of it, and tried to get them to stop by proceeding to burp in such a manner as to win whatever silly burping contest Jack and Ed were up to. Or if Jack and Stede got catty with each other and it somehow lead to some sort of competition like that, and Ed and Stede’s crew were like “wow, ok, didn’t see that coming” about it. Haha.

So yeah, it is rather different for all the characters, and my rules do all tend to have exceptions. But in general, Izzy’s the one I’m most willing to demean, lovingly. Izzy’s not the only one I tend to make stupid or under the influence of something that makes him so so silly and dumb, but I tend to enjoy doing that to him a lot more than the others. I don’t really like Stede to be the biggest one in the endgame but he can be equal to the other(s). Also, this has nothing to do with tummy, but I like Stede to top. I think this is because Stede is sorta my projection character a lot of the time, and I have an unwavering preference for topping. I like the idea of like… force-feeding as roleplay for both Ed and Izzy but not really for Stede. I tend to like my Ed shameless and my Izzy more often full of shame but for horny reasons, though when Stede’s full of shame it’s usually for angsty reasons.

Basically, yeah, I have a set of different preferences depending on the character, but it’s all sort of weird and complicated and full of exceptions and not really following all that many patterns. I mean, it does follow patterns, but… ah, I don’t know.

SORRY for talking this much, have fun tackling this fucking CHUNK of text, lmao. um. oops.

[apriiciitty]

people of the internet,

the eighth sense has me hooked.

I literally didn’t even know what the hell it is with this bl but I feel so addicted to it.

it radiates so many common feelings and situations that seem to be familiar to todays youth. it’s so fresh, relaxing and comforting the way they portray so many common problems with which we can relate, I just love these specific details a lot.

mainly because I find my own self relating to certain points in an extrem level however, besides that, the whole series’s just so gripping?

you get sucked in it pretty quickly.

let’s talk a bit about jaewon and jihyun because I love their characters so much:

overall, I think we can all agree that both characters carry their own interesting personas right? they are very unique and carry their own stories and weight on their shoulders. they are both pretty commonly written, but also extremely extraordinary at the same time?

Jihyun seems to be a person who just goes with the flow. we saw how he directly got a job right when he moved in Seoul, he tries new things out, he’s ready to explore his environment and I believe he is willing to take chances. He seems to like quiet and peace, is very honest and curious.

I believe that, even though we are on episode 6 already, we still haven’t seen much of jihyun though. And that’s where jaewon jumps right into. I think that we will get to discover jihyun’s sides through jaewon.

as for jaewon,

well.

I think I could write pages and pages on his persona. jaewon’s character is a bit more developed because I think the series’s taking part on his point of view, current me if I’m wrong. That’s why i believe that he is the one who will unfold jihyun’s persona. His story is more detailed and -not so much but actually so much-complicated.

the fact that he wears a different mask on his daily routine in order to please everybody around him, makes me feel sick and tired, imagine being him. that’s just too much. besides that, today we came across his trauma which left many questions behind but also gave us a few answers for some specific points, mainly about jaewons behaviour.

and that’s how we stumble on jihyun again.

I believe that in this case, jihyun is the one to actually make jaewon feel like himself without having to be pretentious and pretty much fake.

both of them are like a puzzle, who only they can place together out of each other.

damn.

i don’t think that we will get a sad ending, that’s not really the vibe we get of the show. I am not very sure as to why the incident with jihyun took place, I guess this will be a break-point where jaewon will overthink their relationship and will have second thoughts? maybe because he wasn’t able to help jihyun when he was drowning and so he’ll feel like he is dangerous for jihyun OR he’ll actually save jihyun and maybe he will find peace within himself, for when he wasn’t able to help his little brother? idk

I am just mentally not ready for anything dramatical to be honest and neither are you.

twt: @o0rageade

[summonsproductions]

Drananda Summons Discusses Light

As a part of the Song of the Week, we speak to Drananda Summons to share his thoughts on Light.

You’re inspired by artists like Luther Vandross and Marvin Gaye; Can you name any bands that have inspired you before writing Light?

I could say I was more in a headspace that had seeking to develop the song based off of other inspired artists. My intentions for writing it was to relate to that sensitive intimate side of the listeners as done by artists like Luther Vandross. Even country artists such as Dolly Parton, Morgan Wallen and Billy Ray Cyrus. So, I can say that it was more of a message that I was striving to convey compared to trying to use inspirations specifically from an artist when we’re talking about that piece but on that same level as the artists that I mentioned. You know, those artists that really set an honest precedence about their music. When I wrote light, it was mainly about the message and the impact of someone’s light in your life.

Noticing how much you like experimenting with new styles of music, does writing rock/country-esque music come across as difficult?

No. Rock and country is one of the easier genres because first of all, the derivation of rock and country comes from Black America. When you think of folk, country, western sound, rock & roll, all genres from rock & roll that come from the guitar stroking to shredding, it derives from Black culture. When you think of the Black renaissance, country and rock & roll was owned by Chuck Berry, Charley Pride, Harry Belafonte, Maya Angelou, and Billie Holiday. When we’re talking authentic rock & roll, the godfathers, and godmothers of it, we’re talking about Black Americans. So, to answer your question no. It’s more of a responsibility for me to represent country and rock & roll because of the derivation it possesses. A lot of people say, “oh country and rock are more of a White Americanized” or “Europeanized genre” and that is the complete opposite. Both of the genres come from Black America and also from the south which are two solid factors of my existence to be honest. I come from the south, I am Black American, and I represent Black America. When you know history, you know rock & roll and country play such a solid part in the building of this country and the identity of Black America. So, it’s not hard at all for me to represent country and rock even though many people would say it’s an eclectic genre to work with compared to what you’re accustomed to seeing modern day Black artists working with. But it is definitely a privilege to be able to work in that genre.

We all have obstacles to overcome in a relationship, but what makes life dark and mysterious as described in Light?

When it comes to the relationship aspect, you have to be willing to first know your own light. Know your own value and truth before you just hop in and expect to use someone else’s light. I think that’s the first pause I want to take. When you listen to light you think “oh I feel so safe, so loved, feel the light of someone else.” But the core value of Light is first to understand your own light. A lot of people go throughout this life trying to find their light in something or usually in someone else. That’s not the point of this song. One of my points for this song is for me to encourage people to ignite the light in them and understand that we all need somebody. It may not be in the form of an intimate, loving, situation, but we all need people. When I’m talking about dark and mysterious, I’m talking about those moments in life where you simply don’t know. Where fear is the best option. Where doubt is your most logistical alternative. Where self-hate is even more inviting than self-love. Those parts of “dark and mysterious.” Because it’s easy to go through the experiences of life when everything is going well. But I’m not looking for someone to go through the roses, the pedals, and daisies with me. It’s not even about another person, it’s about me being able to handle these dark and mysterious things on my own to embrace and accept that the uncertainty of reality isn’t what defines life. I don’t want to be with somebody because they make me feel good, the sex is amazing, or I don’t want to be with somebody else. I want to be with you because you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. Also, we’re striving to figure out the difficult things in life. We’re not trying to be the power couple. We’re striving to figure out how we’re going to be it when you put it in the copulation of two people. When you think of just one person, will you own the darkness that we all have to face? We all have to face this shit. This is something no one can hide from. Besides thinking that you can use drugs, alcohol, or outside substances to hide from these realities or acceptances, I pose that question to the person. I even want to pose that question to them on the day that they say, “I do.” “Will you hold my hand through this dark and mysterious thing we call life.” I’m not trying to go through the good shit with you, I can go through the good shit by myself. I’m trying to go through every fucking thing with you. And that’s what I’m striving to go through.

That’s what I’m striving to interpret during that stanza of the song because you can easily go throughout this life if things are always perfect with the right person. But I want to deal with the right person who’s ready to figure shit out. That’s what separates people from willing to live in the light compared to living in the dark. We all have to face this darkness; we all have to face this unprecedented reality we call life. I want to be with somebody, surrounded by light that is able to withstand the darkness. It’s not just about intimate situations, I don’t want to be ignorant and subjective. What is love? When you take sex, attraction, and goals, what is it? My grandma loves me but that doesn’t mean she’s trying to love me the same way that maybe somebody that I went to college with that’s going to love me. So explain to me what love is. That’s up for you to answer on your own. What kind of light do you want? What kind of reality do you want? Because there’s a lot. There’s a lot of light in this world. There’s all these kinds of lights just as there’s all these forms of love. Your boss loves you in a different way that your friend loves you, and your friend loves you in a different way that your family loves you, and your family loves differently in way than your colleague loves you. They all love you in some way or the other. Just like we have to accept there’s light in every situation one way or the other. So I ask that question because I’m not trying to figure shit out on a surface note. This life is hard, scary, beyond confusing. This is honestly speaking from a perspective of a situation that I’ve gotten myself out of in the nick of time. Do I want to sit here and lie to myself and fixate myself on a relationship that doesn’t exist? Or do I want to live in the reality? I tell myself that I’m willing to live in the reality of life. If that person is not ready to live in reality with me, then I have to accept that. I ask that question because this life is fucked up. I don’t care who you are what you’re about, where you come from, this life is fucked.

Can you give a small bit of advice on how someone can bring out the best in you or them vice versa?

The short answer is you can’t. There is no way that you can bring something out of someone else. Your presence may be powerful enough to invoke them to make certain decisions that may be positive or out of their norm. The humbling reality that I would want to say as an artist on record, is that you can’t bring shit out of nobody. You can provoke, antagonize, motivate, encourage, or push people, but you can’t make anyone feel anything. That adds on to the song Light. The light comes from the source that provides light; it doesn’t come from the outside. It’s not the sky or the sea that makes the sunlight, it’s the sun. Without the sun, the ocean is just the ocean, the sky is just the sky, the mountains are just the mountains. But it’s the sun that produces the sunlight on all those things that change the entire trajectory. The sun can’t make the room bright. Windows can make the sun come into the room. I hope I’m making sense. This is something I’ve stepped away from because I’ve accepted that I can’t bring out the light in you. You’d have to want to bring out the light in you and thus bring our lights together. That’s the thing, that’s the trick because you can go out in this light and provoke and encourage people to be their best self and then you’ll find out “oh god I’m so drained, I’m so exhausted, why do I feel like this, why do feel aggravated, why do I feel like I’m appreciated” that’s where all those whiplashes will come from. When you get to a point of centeredness and balance where you know you are not responsible for other people’s light, you are able to sleep at night. In some people you see their greatness, their value, and they don’t want to step into it, to manifest, to operate in that greatness. That is completely their problem.

You are in control of your own light. Whatever response you receive from that light, is the universe that has it. Sometimes you get good vibes, negative vibes, and then a person may ask “how do I define my light?” You shouldn’t. Not based off your experiences; you define your light on every experience and then you learn from the responses of people. Maybe I need to guard my heart in this particular situation. Maybe I don’t need to be that forthcoming. You learn your boundaries. I’ve learned for example when I smile, that invites a lot for people. Some people think I’m ready to listen to all their fucking problems. Some people think I’m a naïve person ready to give them all that I’ve got. Some people think I’m a good ass person which I am. Some people think I’m a vibe. I can’t control what people interpret or receive out of this smile but what I can control is my boundaries that I set up. People have to be preserved. They’re like, “I don’t even want to speak to the people who have feelings for somebody.” If you’re feeling that person and you feel this conviction, “oh I got to bring out the light in them, I got to love, I got to show them how great they are,” that’s not the person for you. That’s not the right energy you deserve. It’s not. The truth is when you get involved with somebody, your duty is to serve them. That’s why I’m not pressed to be in a relationship. I’m really not because the real responsibility of being in a relationship is being there for them, serving them, loving them, learning them, and being open to their reality and being exposed to their transitions. It’s a lot to take on another human being’s totality. I’m 25 now I’m out the high school shit. I think to marry now. So the little puppy love stuff is kind of out. I’ve accepted that I date to marry now. I’m not trying to date just because it’s sex or anything else. I’m dating you because even if we don’t end up at the end of the hour together, I saw myself marrying you. I saw myself being with you. I’m a little bit staunch with the little old school perspective when it comes to what you’re looking out for in somebody nowadays. You can ask yourself, “are you looking for a good time, for commitment, or you don’t want to be alone?” That’s up to you and your inner thoughts. No judgement because everyone has a right to how they feel but you have to understand the power of your light at the end of the day and you’re not responsible for igniting anyone else’s fire. It hurts because when you see somebody you’re down for, that you want to love, and that you want to appreciate you’re just like, “Damn. I wish you could see what I see. I wish you could act the way I want you to act. I wish you could operate the way I believe you should operate.” But humility invokes you and reminds you that this isn’t your life. This isn’t your light. It’s like my mom says, “this isn’t your monkey, this isn’t your circus.” You don’t control the trajectory and I want to keep my fans on the real.

I don’t want you to sit there chasing somebody who doesn't deserve your light. I don’t want you sitting there hoping for someone or some situation that isn’t deserving of your full value. You have a whole idea, a whole light. If you say, “we’re meant to be,” be careful with that. If you say this person was “designed” for me, that’s a whole other level. Until you get to that point where you’re willing to compromise your light with the person, the environment, and people; it’s more than just the monogamous, intimate experience. It’s about your entire light that we’re talking about. It’s about the entire light that you provide, and you have to live in that. That’s no one else’s responsibility. There’s nothing wrong with your light but you have to get down with the person that’s ready to fully receive all of you. Not pieces of you, not junctures of you, but the totality of you. The light that’s within you because when light shines you can’t hide it or mask it unless you’re close to the source. I can’t hide the light of the lamp across the room but when I’m close to it, I can cover it up. So you got to be careful about who you surround yourself with so you don’t have people covering up your light in areas that you don’t need covered up. That concludes my answer to the question.

[snugglyporos]

Okay so, gonna expound a bit about something I see not just in lgbtq media, but lots of media in general these days and how people engage with it. For context, I'm autistic, so I've dealt with this in autistic portrayals, and while I'm asexual, I grew up in a time where people thought I was gay and did what I'm going to talk about.

So there's this thing in media where the first stage of inclusion is stereotype, and then once it is accepted enough people demand change, and that's good. But the problem arises when people then decide what 'good' or 'positive' representation is, because it turns into 'right' versus 'wrong' representation. And that translates to the same pressure that existed before in a new way.

As an example, in the 80s and 90s, things like what it meant to be a woman or what it meant to be black changed considerably. The question of 'what does it mean for a woman to be liberated' came up. Questions like 'what is the real black American experience' came up. You saw this in the fights over what feminism meant. If you've seen the Fresh Prince episode where Carlton answers a critic who accuses him of pandering to white people, you've seen a portrayal of this debate.

But beneath all of that is an expectation, that there is a right way to be something and a wrong way to be something. To refocus to gay people, for a long time there was an expectation of what it meant to be openly gay. That is now an antiquated term, but it had weight when the public's concept of gay people were the cast of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and the guy on Will And Grace. There was an expectation that being gay meant acting a certain way, talking a certain way, behaving in a certain way, and that not doing so was a rejection of your identity.

Speaking from my own personal experience, when I was in high school, and not diagnosed yet as being autistic, people thought I was gay. I am not, but that didn't stop people from trying to convince me that it was okay to come out of the closet. This amounted to essentially being put in a box, something which I'm sure lots of people can relate to.

It's good to reevaluate things that came before. It's good to remove harmful things. But this desire can also create a cage, where boundaries of what constitutes 'correct' identity are created. One of the problems many writers in the 90s struggled with was that once they stopped considered 'woman' as a character trait, they didn't know how else to write them; but more than that, when they did write women as being more than the sum of their sex, they were accused of not writing women correctly, of not showing the authentic experience of women.

Because the thing is, as something becomes more acceptable, the ability to define someone by their identity becomes harder. She-Ra is a show where the characters are lesbians, and yet this is not their entire character. They are characters, with many traits. And yet the fact that this one trait does not define them makes people say that they are not written correctly, that the representation is incorrect.

In other words, this isn't a question of nuance. It's a question of whether or not people are willing to allow identities to escape the box that people's expectations have created for them. In some ways this boils down to 'is She-Ra a lesbian superhero or a superhero who is a lesbian?' People's expectations shift with how you order those character traits, and that's the box's walls moving in real time.

In many ways, the modern movement to create collective identity has been a positive one; it's allowed marginalized groups to organize and demand fairer treatment. But it has also created a situation where people are not seen as individuals but as parts of a group and therefore expected to adhere to this identity, whether or not it represents them accurately.

In She-Ra, the reaction to it amounted to 'yes this is representation but the representation is not the defining aspect of every part of these characters, therefore it is bad representation.'

But the problem with this is that it becomes regressive. It returns people and characters back to the time when there were standards of acceptability for someone's identity. If you're sitting there and writing that She-Ra and Catra are not accurate lesbians, then you're assuming that there is one way to be a lesbian, and that the only way to be empowered in that identity is to fit a mold that was created for them. That's not really empowerment. That's just a new version of what existed before.

Again, I speak from the perspective of an autistic person here. Representation usually amounts to either a person being entirely defined by their autism, or it amounts to the characterization that it's some kind of super power (looking at you, predator movie).

But that's not real to life. It's not accurate, even if the people presenting it feel that it's accurate. People react to She-Ra because they feel like it's not a correct depiction, which is itself, regressive. They're doing the same thing that came before, just with different standards. In the end, all that concerns them is whether or not they conform to an ideal of identity that does not actually exist in practice.

In some ways, the desire to remove all unproblematic from lgbtq characters so that they cannot be ever critiqued as a problem is no different than the sanitizing of lgtbq characters by bigots so that they can never be offensive to anyone's sensibilities. The queer coding of characters in movies in order to make them acceptable to cis audiences shares a lot in common with people demanding that lgbtq characters and people only be portrayed in ways that are considered 'positive.' This amounts to stripping them of things like agency, because you're now reduced to arguing about the correct way to be gay.

In other words, if your argument about She-Ra is 'they're not being proper lesbians because they are flawed people' then you're actually arguing that 'lesbians that do not adhere to this set of guidelines are not real lesbians' and that's not that different from what bigots do.

I'm not saying that people come at this from a place of bigotry; questions about things like internalized bigotry are too ethereal and amorphous for me to talk about in any real way. What I can say is that the experience becomes similar when you encounter it. In the end, people hide parts of themselves that they think people will object to. If the end result is that people feel the need to go back into the closet for different reasons, they're still being forced back into the closet to make other people happy, and that's still bad. The reason it's being done does not matter. A lesbian being pushed into the closet to make bigots happy is not fundamentally different from a lesbian being forced into the closet to assuage the concerns of erstwhile allies who demand 'correct' representation.

It is a sign of progress that we have gotten to a point where shows like She-Ra can be made with openly lesbian leads and the writers feel that this aspect does not need to define their entire existence. It means the concept that the 'base' character is a white straight male is not being applied. But it is deeply worrying when the response of people who believe they support inclusion decide that there is a good and a bad way to be lgbtq. That there is a right and a wrong way to be a lesbian, and a right and wrong way to write lesbians, as though these were character traits and not people who are complex and not defined entirely by their sexual and gender identity.

Acceptance of identities means that those identities become less novel and noteworthy over time; things that shocked and appalled people fifty years ago are entirely shrugged at now as just a thing that exists. And that's good, because true acceptance of something is to consider it entirely banal. You move from a lesbian person to a person who is a lesbian, and you can be more than just that one identity in the eyes of those around you.

The discussion around She-Ra, I think, is more about the discomfort that people have about her identity and the identity of the other characters not being central to every part of her being, rather than a question of nuance.

"we need less sanitized queer stories" yall keep saying fucking she-ra romanticizes abuse. you couldnt possibly handle less sanitized queer stories

[rin-and-jade]

I sent this to my therapist in the middle of December and she's never replied to me. Idk if it's acceptable to reach back out?? I want to go through the process, no matter what the answer is. But my intuition always tells me I'm right with my inkling of being polyfragmented. Was my message too forward or worded improperly???

"Hi *therapist's name*,

Since leaving therapy I've done as much research as I have been able, I've joined a discord to genuinely talk to others, and I've asked questions on Tumblr from people who are either therapists with DID or have researched it for years and spend their days helping others. It has all been very validating and eye opening; I'm learning I deeply relate to other polyfragmented systems and a lot of them have related to me.

I did do a lot of research about continuous amnesia and have asked others who have researched longer than I have about it, but it's not seeming to match up very clearly. My memory seems to be more intact than that, but it is spotty, fuzzy, and not always reliable. Sometimes I can remember more clearly than other times, it just all depends.

Anyway, I am reaching out to ask if it would be possible to go through the DID diagnostic process or even the BPD with them being commonly co-morbid. Answers are not coming from within and I'm noticing it's now creating a block in life with a lot of things and I feel like having answers would be beneficial."

Thankyou for coming here and entrusting your real message that was sent to your therapist to me! Im sorry that it hasn't been replied yet and its already nearing to a month with no responses.

I have carefully read and concluded that this message had been very detailed and there is no such thing as being 'too forward' (i personally dislike people giving vague stuffs when i need to figure out their situation/problem, so yeah). You had pointed out where you learned from, added your own pov and stated clear intention that you want to be guided through the process which is already great!

Yes, you should try to reach out again since your words hinted me that its bothering your days and hoped that you can get more insights from a professional. While i worry that you have to wait longer to get a word from your therapist, how does the idea of you, being with me for a bit to gain insight from, sounds? If you are willing to accept the offer, you can instantly contact me via DMs. Though if not, i am fine with that,, and you can always update your situation from the ask box again.

I hope this had helped!

- j

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Please read this post before sending me an ask

I don't mind people venting to me, but I'm not a mental health professional and I am not comfortable being used as a stand-in for one, so I'm not answering questions like:

Do you think I have x diagnosis?

How do I cope with or recover from x symptom/diagnosis?

How do I deal with, escape or recover from an abusive or otherwise traumatic situation?

Anything expecting me to manage your suicidal ideation.

I am limited by my own personal experiences, so while I don't mind people venting to me about subjects I'm not educated on, you shouldn't expect me to have answers specifically relating to:

Being gay.

Being transgender.

Being asexual or aromantic.

Being intersex.

Being a person of color.

Being fat.

Studying or working. (I'm a dropout on disability benefits.)

Being physically disabled.

Having abusive parents.

Being abused as a child.

Any mental health diagnosis which isn't schizophrenia or generalized anxiety.

I am comfortable talking about my personal experiences, but this is not an educational resource and you shouldn't expect me to be willing to educate you on any kind of subject. This includes the things I do have personal experience with.

Thanks for reading! Keep in mind that if you don't respect my boundaries I will likely just ignore your ask.

[funnyexel]

Secrets Are To Be Revealed

A/n: I had an ask for anon and I accidentally deleted it (I am SO sorry!!) This is a shorter story so hopefully you like it.

Request : The reader having powers, fighting crime basically being a hero. Marrying batman when he adopted dick having twin boys with him later on, then finding out about Talia Al Ghul and Damian and the interaction the reader will have with Talia. I’m pretty sure they asked for a black reader as well. (Again I am SO VERY SORRY!!) I hope this post finds you!

Warnings : Rape, Implied Murder, Emotions

That was good, right? You’ll find more here -> Masterlist Mega List

Groaning as you put your suit away. Waving Bruce towards to come to you. You lean on a nearby table waiting patiently for him. “You seem a little off.” He stands a few inches away from you. “You were reckless tonight.” You scoff and shake your head at him. “Define reckless. Jumping off a skyscraper without a plan is reckless but jumping off a skyscraper with a plan is dangerous. I see where you’re coming from but I had a plan.” You inch in closer, silently requesting a kiss. “That plan was flimsy.” He turns away from your attempt, walking off to the bat computer. You stood in disbelief with your hands crossed over your chest. “I thought it was a pretty good plan.” You mutter, going up to the manor to check on your children.

Going into their rooms, you find them sound asleep. After changing your clothes, you go down to the kitchen for a late night snack. The sound of the television, redirecting your actions. “Dick? Why are you still up?” You lean over. No reply. “Dick?” You rush over the couch, to find him knocked out. Breathing a sigh of relief, you grab a blanket and drape it over him. “Goodnight.” You whisper, placing a feather light kiss on his forehead. Turning off the tv, you continue your path to the kitchen. Grabbing a snack from the pantry, you sit at the island. “Y/n, are you alright?” You shake your head. “Alfred, do you think I did something wrong tonight?” You glance at the moonlight, seeping through the kitchen window. “No, I think nothing of the sorts. I think you handled the situation quite well.” 

“If you’re only asking me because Bruce is distant. The answer you’re looking for is, he isn’t mad at you.” He adds given your silence. You give Alfred a smile but it slowly turns into a frown. “Who could he be mad at?” He swiftly walks away at your question. “Alfred?” You stare off into darkness, not for long as the door bell rings. Quickly, getting to the door before they make anymore noise. “Hello-” Your gaze drops to a sleeping baby. Looking out you see a figure half-way off the property. Grabbing the basket the baby was in you head towards them. “Uhm, is this your baby?” You tap them on the shoulder. They roughly turn around, grabbing your hand. “No. I do not associate with that thing.” Your jaw drops at her words. “How could you say that? If this is your baby you shouldn’t-” 

“ITS NOT MINE! KILL IT IF YOU HAVE TO! I DON’T WANT IT!” She raises her voice at you. “I-I..” You’re left speechless as she walks away. You look down to the now crying baby. Bring him inside, roughly closing the door behind you. Taking him out the basket and laying him down on the couch. As you looked at him, your eyes began to burn, tears on the brink of falling. “Y/n, put the baby back.” Bruce’s figure firmly stands at the door. “w-what?” You look to him, your voice cracking. Getting to your feet, you stand before him. “Put the baby back, I don’t want you to be caught up in this mess.” He pulls you in the hallway. “What mess, Bruce? I’d usually step back and let you handle things but a baby is involved.”

“I can’t just leave a child out in the world alone. I quite frankly can’t do that to anyone!” Tears trickle down your face. “Do you know who’s baby that is? Talia Al Ghul. Now, I don’t want to choose but if its between you. I’ll have to make a decision.” He watched as each tear glided down your face and fell on your chest. “You’re mad at yourself.” Your lip quivered. “He’s yours, isn’t he?” He was about to speak, defend himself but you cut him off. “It’s okay. I understand. I understand that I’m probably not enough for you but you know where I come from and what I’ve been through. I refuse to put a child through anything like what happened to me, when I can do something about it.” You caress his cheek and suck up your tears. “Even if that child isn’t mine. I’ll treat them as my own.”

You turn away from him and hold the baby in your arms. Taking him to your room. You rest him on two pillows. Gently playing with his hair. The tears rush down your face resembling a waterfall. You place both your hands over your eyes, trying to hide the tears but failing miserably. “Y/n, can I talk to you?” You rest your hands in your lap, looking up to Bruce. He slowly sits down next to you. “I didn’t know.” He looks into your glossy eyes and all you can sense is truth. “I didn’t want to hurt you. But I ended up doing that anyway. I wasn’t willing to have that baby...” He trails off. You get what he’s trying to say and hug him. Resting your head on his shoulder and holding him tight. “I’m not going to attempt to relate to your experience. I still love you.” You smile as you slowly release him from your hold. Your eyes widen in surprise, he kissed you. It felt as if he thought you wouldn’t love him anymore, as if you would have left him as soon as you found out. But that couldn’t be farther than the truth.

[rinnystee]

i've had a tough week at uni, i'm still taking final papers and exams. not finished yet, but i went back and watched the series and fragments and i have a question what's going on in yargi?

i'm not taking this study out anymore, so here's a few words about what i think of the latest developments in this series.

ceylin. she is my comfortable character, my favorite character and in general i just love to think about her personality and actions. her attempt to send parla abroad and lie to ilgaz is not the best decision she could have made. but i am not going to judge her for that. i don't condone her, but i do understand. somewhere in episode 10 she talks about the way she is: choosing what seems right and beneficial to her at the time; not wanting to be judged for those choices. she thinks about the future and says something like "i won't stop, he won't change. trouble will knock on our doors again and we can't handle it". that's exactly what's happening now.

i don't agree that her character has no development. ceylin has never received professional psychological help in all her time. if you have never dealt with psychological problems, then i can only congratulate you. sometimes people cannot change just because they want to. sometimes it takes years of work with a therapist. ilgaz is very good, but he is not a universal pill that can cure all of ceylin's psychological problems just by love. that is not how it works.

ceylin has a huge amount of trauma related to family. she became the backbone of this family very early on, working 2 jobs to support inji's studies. being the sister of a mother who lost a child. replacing the mother for parla. and replacing the father for them all. she is not separated from her family. she cannot say "no" to them and is willing to give them everything, even at the cost of her own life and marriage.

her family is manipulative. aylin blackmailed ceylin with her own suicide. everyone remember ceylin's breakdown in the middle of the night when she thought her mother wasn't breathing? i was once blackmailed with the death of a family member too, it has a nightmarish effect on a person.

ceylin tried to do what she thought was right. how others react to her action is their decision. life is not a straight line. the show needed this situation because you can't hide the problem under kisses and hugs, even though they are sincere, and think it will go away on its own. they have to figure it out.

me personal opinion: teenagers should be held accountable. they are involved in drug trafficking, mafia activities, and eventually murder. it's time for them to think about what they are doing.

opinion #2: the adults should answer as well. the idiots who took the lynching. even if they went to serdar, they could have called the police a hundred times on the way. they could have called the police and ambulance later. but yes, team cleanup after the murder is clearly better.

i am sad for both ilgaz and ceylin. they are very unlucky with their families.

yekta. my favorite annoying yekta. sooner or later karma will catch up with him. he might be the victim from the 6 month arc.

yekta's son is very strange, i don't have an opinion on him yet.

pars and derya. i really liked pars wedding proposal. it's a very beautiful monologue and far from corny as i expected. that scene is very nice, really. waiting very much for their wedding.

that's it for now. i'm really looking forward to the episode on sunday and hope i can watch it live. i'll get back to writing "1095 days for you" in the new year, now i have absolutely no resources for either the fluff of the first chapters or the angst of the last one.

enjoy the show. discussions are great (it means sema and the whole team are doing a good job and we have something to discuss), but don't take it personally. i believe everything will be solved. thanks for reading it, btw.

[omgitsshrimp]

[SPOILERS from Manga!] Attack on Titan Theory: The baby was NOT PLANNED.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! IF YOU’RE ANIME ONLY SKIP THIS POST! 

I thought I’d share my own theory on the whole situation with Eren and Historia. Keep in mind this is just my opinion/interpretation of everything so far. I just want to get my two cents in. 

I know suggesting that the baby isn’t planned sounds nuts, but hear me out. In Ch 130 we’re shown panels of Eren and Historia discussing the military’s plans for her, Eren telling her his plan, and Historia discussing a baby with Eren. 

In one panel, Historia is standing in front of the wooden fence, on the left side of the panel; then in a later panel she’s standing in front of the wooden fence on the right side of the panel. 

I don’t think this is by accident. This implies that Eren and Historia met up more than once, which opens up a strong possibility of them meeting up several times in the past. So when Historia asks Eren about having a baby, we don’t know if she said that in the same conversation as the earlier panels. It could have happened at a completely different time. We only have a close up of her face when she says it, and we dont see the whole convo, which means we don’t know the full context around her bringing up a baby to Eren.  

*Assuming they have met up several times, it begs the question, why does Eren even meet up with Historia? In my opinion, it’s because he has feelings for her, and they might be involved romantically.

 We know that the songs for AoT can allude to or foreshadow events in the story. I feel like Eren and Historia’s meet ups were alluded to in two songs (that I know of) in AoT OST, “Zero Eclipse” and “Yuugure no Tori” (ed3).

Zero Eclipse (only later part of the song is related to Eren):

“Make a promise that I cannot regret, As long as I can see you but in secret”

Yuugure no Tori:

“I’ll sing out with my girl, Go to the meeting place sing alone”

If the Baby was Planned, It Would Contradict Eren’s ideals/motivation

Another reason I don’t think the baby is planned is because if the point is to not produce kids just for a strategic purpose then why would Eren and Historia make a plan to do just that? (ie having a baby to put off Historia eating Zeke). Having the reason for making a child be reduced to convenience/serving your plan doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t align with Eren’s beliefs, in my opinion.

Assuming that Eren and Historia are romantically involved and have been physically intimate for some time, I think its fair to consider that this baby was conceived by chance (as well as love) rather than some sort of necessity brought on by a situation. I think upon hearing what the military was planning for Historia, Eren decided to make plans for another way that wouldn’t sacrifice her. I don’t think that involved making a child. I think the child came about by chance and the panel of Historia asking Eren about a baby was maybe part of a longer conversation where she was telling him that she was pregnant. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions, but I don’t think its impossible. 

I think from there, Eren and Historia came up with a plan to hide the pregnancy in order to protect Historia from being connected to Eren, since he knew he was going to start going against the military and wanted to protect Historia from any association with that. And also, kept it secret because if Zeke some how found out, it would compromise Zeke’s confidence in Eren and mess up Eren’s plans. Eren and Historia’s plan to keep the paternity a secret involved lying about the due date and using the Farmer as a cover. I suspect the farmer guy agreed because he really did feel guilty about bullying Historia as a child. The fact that he felt guilty enough to work there for years opens the possibility of him willing to go along with Eren and Historia’s plan, so he can make up for everything.

Paneling Choices

Now I want to talk about Isayama’s choices when it comes to the panels in ch 130, specifically in regards to the scene of Eren making his plans, Eren and Historia talking, and Eren and Zeke discussing Mikasa. How Isayama chose to order these panels seemed to me, very intentional and meticulous. 

In the previous panels in the same chapter we see Eren refusing to allow Historia to be sacrificed and we see him willing to go against humanity for her (and Paradis as a whole). Isayama decided to shows us the process of Eren deciding to carry out this plan through his interactions with Historia, as if to convey that she’s a big reason for why he’s doing all this. He’s emphasizing her importance in how Eren came to start this mission by positoning her front and center. This sequence ends with Eren telling Historia that she saved him, paralleling Mikasa in a big way.

Then, we go to a conversation between Zeke and Eren about the Ackerman bloodline. Zeke is clarifying to Eren that there is no ingrained behavior and that Mikasa does all these things for him because she loves him. And right after Zeke says that, there is a panel of Eren and Historia. I feel like Isayama gave us an explanation of Eren’s actions right here. A discussion about Mikasa’s affection and devotion juxtaposed with images of Eren and Historia right after we saw several panels of Eren doing exactly what Zeke described Mikasa does for Eren, in my opinion, was meant to indirectly allude to why Eren is doing this and how he feels about Historia. Isayama doesn’t want to give it away just yet, but is giving subtle breadcrumbs. Using Mikasa’s feelings to juxtapose probably threw people off too.    

It’s my opinion that Eren loves Historia. There’s other evidence that people have pointed out that I also agree with, but I won’t delve deep I’ll just mention them here:

 -Hanji noticing Eren smiling at Historia and defending her wellbeing, then asking Eren about it. Eren snaps at Hanji when she brings up Historia.

-Historia getting teary eyed when Eren defends her in the meeting. 

The only person Eren has been consistent with protecting this whole time has been Historia. His desire to protect her never wavered. He’s been talking about protecting her since the end of season 3. The only person we’ve seen Eren confide in (about his plans etc.) is Historia. She’s clearly significant to him.

What Eren Kruger Said to Grisha

Another reason I think Eren loves Historia and is romantically involved with her is because of what Eren Kruger said to Grisha. The Attack titan shifter can see future memories as well as past ones. Kruger told Grisha to “love someone in the walls, build a family. If you can’t do that, the same cycle will repeat itself. If you want to save Mikasa and Armin, carry out your mission to the end”. I think Kruger was also talking to Eren here, OR Isayama was alluding to what Eren will need to do in order to save everyone. In the anime, they added a line for Kruger, he says “someone in the future might see this [moment/memory of their conversation]”. I think it was added to establish that there may be a link between what Kruger said and what Eren is doing. Afterall, we know Eren saw this conversation. 

I think Eren did fall in love, with Historia, and is building a family (conceived a baby by chance), and something about the experience of love and impending fatherhood has played an important role in Eren carrying out this mission and ultimately saving Armin, Mikasa and Paradis, while also ending the cycle of hate.

In Ch 130, we see Eren saying that he has to do the rumbling in order for the cycle of hate to end. Similar to what Kruger said. Everything is happening exactly as Eren saw it, we saw that with that little boy Halil (or was it Ramzi?). The future memories were all correct, so if Kruger was speaking based on future memories then what he said about love, building a family, saving Armin and Mikasa, probably had truth to it.

 Eren’s Talk with Mikasa in Ch 123

A lot of people see this as an ErenxMikasa moment but since Eren and Zeke’s conversation in Ch 130, I don’t think that’s the case. In Ch 123, Eren asks Mikasa “what am I to you?”. Mikasa flusters and says “family”. I think Eren asked her this because he was suspecting that her Ackerman bloodline was influencing her decisions. This probably worried him because he didn’t want Mikasa to be a slave to her bloodline. Mikasa’s answer didn’t clarify anything for him. He was left ambivalent on the subject and that’s why he asked Zeke about the Ackerman bloodline. 

Mikasa says in Ch 123, that maybe if she gave a different answer things would have happened differently, but Zeke did give Eren a clear answer about how Mikasa felt. Eren knew how she felt and it didn’t change anything. Eren was concerned about the Ackerman bloodline influence because he wanted Mikasa to be free, not because he’s romantically interested in her.

I do realize I could be dead wrong. I know suggesting the baby wasn’t planned is a huge stretch but I just thought I’d put it out there. I just want it to be true so badly lol. Even if the baby is planned, I think there’s still some truth to some of the other things I pointed out. This was just a fun thing for me to do. I normally don’t write long theory posts, but I figured why not since it’s so close to the end and everyone is speculating. Why not join in?

I think that’s it. I hope I’m not missing anything. As for how I think the whole story will end? I think because Eren freed Ymir, titan powers might cease to exist. But I don’t know how that’ll affect the 13 year Ymir curse if that does happen. So I guess we’ll see. 

Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m not AntiMikasa or anything. Please be respectful! Thanks for reading!

[laundryandtaxes]

i've been following for a long time, and i really respect your point of view, so i ask this as a friend seeking guidance, and i hope that its okay that i ask, how can you tell that what you're feeling is gender dysphoria exactly? I've always felt uncomfortable in my body but that is due to a number of things but some things ive been feeling lately, i've been wondering, is this dysphoria im feeling something more than i've realized? I used to have a lot of dreams of my body having different organs but i've never really talked about it with anyone. I have trouble being perceived as masculine or feminine, i didn't like choosing either and it brings up insecurities either way, but i'm still pretty in the closet about my sexuality so i really feel nowhere near comfortable playing with my gender in my house with my family, even though i really want to deep down, idk im sorry im just confused and only getting more so and im a little scared if im being honest and im mad that im scared like.....

I don't think it matters what you call the distress, to be honest, so I think "How do I know whether I'm experiencing gender dysphoria" is basically the same question as "How do I know whether I'm experiencing anxiety or depression," which is to say it's a question that you're better suited to answer than anyone else alive, since diagnostic criteria are not matters of scientifically verifiable facts of experience but human-created ways of categorizing human experiences. Whatever you call it, it sounds very clear to me that you're experiencing some anxiety around your own way of interaction with gendered rituals, clothing, etc, and if your family is likely to judge you very negatively for experimenting with a different way of presenting yourself, it makes a lot of sense to me that you would be very anxious about the desire to do so. It's fully normal and healthy to be scared about the prospect of doing something major in your life, like coming out, or about the prospect of changing something major in your life, such as how you dress. I cannot help you resolve your family situation except to say that a time will come, hopefully, when your parents are dead and you are still alive, and when that time comes I personally think you would very likely regret having lived your life in a way that was meant to make now-dead people happy rather than a way that was intended to bring you joy and peace. That is my personal opinion and my personal set of values- I do not keep anyone in my life that is not willing to/capable of showing me basic respect, which to my mind includes not making snide comments about who or what I am and how I look. I think that is a good way to live one's life, but only you can live yours and some people just value the approval of their family more than I value the approval of mine and more than they value their own sense of wellbeing, and I understand that that's just another way a person can live a life. But I think that any anxiety you feel around messing with the way your dress and generally present yourself is going to necessarily be partly due to your family situation, and if you leave it addressed the anxiety will therefore continue to hang around.

That being said, inasmuch as you can overcome your anxieties related to family acceptance, it's still extremely normal to be scared at the prospect of trying something new. That does not mean you shouldn't try it out, but it means that if you commit to trying something and freak out in the first few days that is not necessarily a cue that you're doing something wrong, it's a normal reaction to major change. You can take two approaches to mitigate this very normal reaction- one, you can move very slowly, introducing maybe small elements to your wardrobe that are a departure for you in the direction you think you'd like to head, like a couple of new shirts or a couple pairs of shoes that feel extra-specially good in the way you're hoping they'll feel good. This approach also allows the people in your life time to adjust, as it is also entirely normal for the people in your life to be jarred by sudden and major changes in what you look like and how you act. Another approach you can take is to go all in on whatever you want to do, with the understanding that (so long as we are not talking about medical interventions) you can literally just stop at any point if you decide you don't want to continue. If you buy one suit and really give it a fair shot, really try to get used to wearing it, and it just never grows on you, you can simply stop sell it and move on. If you get a haircut and you hate it, your hair will simply grow back at some point. People change over the course of a lifetime- that is absolutely guaranteed- and there is very rarely any real need to do any particular thing at any particular moment. Maybe you try something new and you hate it. That's fine, and not at all a problem in and of itself. I hope this helps some and makes sense, but if not feel free to shoot me another message identifying yourself. As you may be able to tell from the fact that I answered this two weeks after you sent it, it is likely to take me some time to get to it but I will really do my best to get back to you. I wish you well!

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

Hi, first off I ship Zutara and I come in peace. I was pointed your way by a friend when I asked for people who ship kataang who are nevertheless willing to hear different views. I have lurked on blog a week and finally got up my nerve to ask how you or any other Kataang can deny that the last part of book 3 was completely Zutara but then stopped abruptly with no buildup? You can finesse tone on text so I'm not being sarcastic or bitchy, it is a serious question (1/5)

In The Southern Raiders, Katara realizes she has been wrong about Zuko. In Ember Island Players, she realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was, and in the finale, Katara does not care a whit that Aang is gone. I am serious and as someone who is no Aang stan but likes him, I’m actually annoyed by how little anyone cared about his disappearance. It went from “Aang’s gone!” to “Okay whatever, let’s find Iroh so he can kill Ozai.” (2/5)

Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic. I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed. (4/5)

And then literally at the end, Mai shows up after Zuko not talking about her at all for six episodes and declares herself Zuko’s girlfriend. And Katara kisses Aang after being annoyed with and by him arguably since The Southern Raiders. I get that Kataang “won” and I’ve made peace with that, but ... I can’t understand why Kataang shippers are okay with such a crap story. I swear on my gmom [sic] if they’d done this for [Zvtara], I’d be mad as hell. So I don’t understand, I really don’t. (5/5)

As always, I shall begin with a disclaimer: anon, you do not have to agree with this post. No one has to agree with this post, as it is strictly my own thoughts on the subject matter raised here! As per usual, I will not be putting this in the main tags - much less the Zvtara tag! - because I have basic fandom decency, lmao. If you (the general you, not anon specifically) do disagree with this post, that is totally fine, I simply ask that you are polite in expressing your disagreement (if you choose to do so at all! no one is expected to, lmao. i promise).

Alright. Formalities are out of the way!

I’ll admit I giggled a little bit when you say you lurked on my blog for a week, because I’ve actually talked about this subject numerous times in the past! I just found it funny you hadn’t stumbled across any posts about it yet, lol. So, as a heads up, know that I will be providing several links in this post since - again - this subject and related subjects have been analyzed a multitude of times before. I highly recommend reading them all! Mostly because I don’t intend to spend forever restating what’s been said over and over and over lmaooo. I will provide the resources, but it is up to each individual to take advantage of them.

To begin: your ask actually contains a few logical fallacies, anon! I do not mean this as shade or to belittle you - I fall victim to this issue all the time myself. Anyone who writes analyses or participates in debates does! Humans are imperfect and often like to cut corners to reach a conclusion. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about because - as the existence of your ask in inbox indicates - you are willing to learn more. So kudos to you, my friend!

Alright. So what logical fallacies am I talking about here? (For the record: specific definitions of logical fallacies were taken from here.)

1. Hasty Generalization.

“A hasty generalization is a general statement without sufficient evidence to support it.” Numerous claims are made in this ask that I have absolutely no doubt you believe to be true, anon, but there really isn’t any concrete evidence to support it! I will go into more detail later, of course, but let’s quickly look at one example:

“In Ember Island Players, [Katara] realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was…”

For the time being, I will ask but one question: from the show itself, not fanon, how do you know this?

2. Causal Fallacy

Ah, this guy. My own worst enemy, tbh! “A causal fallacy is any logical breakdown when identifying a cause,” of which there are several types. “One causal fallacy is the false cause or non causa pro causa (‘not the-cause for a cause’) fallacy, which is when you conclude about a cause without enough evidence to do so.” In your ask, you claim:

“I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed.”

Again, for the time being, I will ask only one question: from the show itself, not fanon, what led you to believe this statement?

“Another kind of causal fallacy is the correlational fallacy also known as cum hoc ergo propter hoc (Lat., ‘with this therefore because of this’). This fallacy happens when you mistakenly interpret two things found together as being causally related.” In your ask, you claim:

“Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

I will ask one question: from the show itself, not fanon, why would you believe these are indicative of romance? (Consider the context the show is situated in, too - e.g. the war, Katara being Azula’s only available match in skill, etc.)

The reason I bring up the issue of logical fallacies is again not at all to make you feel bad, anon!! You were simply trying to express your point to me and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to do so. See, your ask actually presents a larger fandom trend:

Misconstruing fanon as canon.

What you have offered to me, anon, are fanon conclusions. To clarify: there is absolutely nothing wrong with fanon. I adore fanon interpretations (an example I have used in the past is Kuzaang - like, I don’t care that there’s no canon basis! I do what I want lmao!), but a line has to be drawn between exploring fanon interpretations and expecting everyone to take that fanon as canon. Again, anon, this is not your fault! It is not any one person’s fault, lmao. It is an issue of fandom as a whole, and all of us fall victim to it.

With that in mind, I will break down the different components of your ask. I will also do my best to be brief - as aforementioned, I and others have analyzed this issue numerous times before, lmao. To avoid confusion, it would be best to read through each or at least most links as they are provided!

Firstly, there are two posts I have made in the past that almost directly answer your overarching question here in this ask. Please read them prior to continuing, as I will occasionally reference them:

This post explains how Zvtara was not built up from TSR/EIP-onwards, and how their supposed “canon enemies to lovers arc” is a completely fanon construction.

This post explains the issue of the “canon Zvtara” rhetoric from rabid zkers (and you, anon, are absolutely NOT one, in case you were worried).

Alrighty. With that out the way, let’s get into it!

“In The Southern Raiders, Katara realizes she has been wrong about Zuko.”

Gotta start by saying that TSR is not about Zuko. TSR is, first and foremost, about Katara. Katara does not realize she was wrong about Zuko, because here’s the truth - she wasn’t wrong about him. Zuko did horrible things to the Gaang. Katara was not wrong to hold him accountable for that. What Katara does realize is that holding such rage so close to her chest is bad for her. This rage was not solely anger against Zuko, either; it was of course about Yon Rha, too, but it was also anger towards Kya and Katara herself. Essentially, TSR is where Katara realizes she has to forgive herself. Zuko is only one part of her journey (similar to Aang’s role in the episode, if a different end of the spectrum).

This post explains how TSR was fundamentally about Katara.

Additional resources about TSR:

This post explains Aang’s comments to Katara in TSR and how Katara herself recognized their validity.

This post explains why both Aang and Zuko were important to Katara in TSR.

This post is an extensive breakdown of Aang and Katara’s relationship within TSR.

“In Ember Island Players, [Katara] realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was…”

You provide no context for this claim, so I’m going to work with the assumption this is about their reactions to the play itself and the infamous kiss!

There is something important we must keep in mind when discussing EIP: the play they watch is literally imperialist propaganda. It is meant to demean the entire Gaang, and indeed it does exactly that. You mention Katara and Aang specifically, so I will recap what I have explained before about their depictions in EIP: Katara, an indigenous woman, is hypersexualized and portrayed as overly emotional (and thus “irrational”). This reinforces the Fire Nation sentiment that women of the Water Tribes are less intelligent and less suited for “responsibility” than Fire Nation women. Aang, a pacifist and the sole survivor of genocide who is also canonly the male character most comfortable with femininity and spirituality, is portrayed as a flighty, airheaded woman (this is a well-known imperialist tactic meant to emasculate the target, seeing as masculinity was often equated with power in fascist regimes; thus, they effectively belittled Aang before the FN audience). This reinforces the Fire Nation sentiment that the Air Nomads were foolish, weak people who deserved to die.

In other words, of course Aang and Katara were upset about how they portrayed in the play. It is understandable that tensions would be running high and consequently that mistakes (we all know the one) would be made.

This post explains how EIP belittles each member of the Gaang (and why the play is not indicative of Zvtara).

This post talks specifically about EIP and their portrayal of Aang and Katara.

Now onto the kiss. As everyone knows and no one has ever disagreed with, Aang was wrong to kiss Katara. Point blank!

But what people do misunderstand is Katara and Aang’s feelings regarding the kiss. Given your above quote, I assume you believe Aang kissing Katara supposedly made her realize that Aang wasn’t as mature as she once thought. On the surface, this seems like a logical conclusion! But digging deeper reveals… well, there’s nothing that indicates this conclusion at all. Even jumping ahead to the finale, when Zuko has doubts over Aang’s return, Katara demonstrates her faith in Aang (although of course she’s nervous - I won’t deny the obvious, lmao) as she says, “Aang won’t lose. He’s gonna come back. He has to.”

In other words, nothing in canon suggests that Katara believes Aang is immature because of what happened in EIP. She still trusts in his return, as she did even before she knew him (and arguably is more confident in him now, given the 60~ episodes of them growing closer). Furthermore, when Aang does disappear, Katara doesn’t have an outburst about how “immature” it was for him to “run away again.” The viewers know Aang didn’t run away, of course (fans who insist he did are not worth arguing with, anon - they don’t understand the show, rip), but that is a luxury the rest of the Gaang is not afforded. And yet even though Aang has vanished off the face of the planet, Katara still believes he will save the world. If anything, that signifies the utmost confidence in his skill and maturity!

To go back to the kiss itself, this post explains the true source of Katara’s conflict in turning down Aang (hint: she says it herself in the episode! you know, the whole war going on) and why the EIP kiss did not sink Kataang’s relationship.

Additional sources about EIP:

This post explains how the EIP kiss was resolved through narrative parallels.

This post explains how the EIP kiss is so often blown out of proportion.

“… and in the finale, Katara does not care a whit that Aang is gone. I am serious and as someone who is no Aang stan but likes him, I’m actually annoyed by how little anyone cared about his disappearance. It went from ‘Aang’s gone!’ to ‘Okay whatever, let’s find Iroh so he can kill Ozai.’”

As I already touched upon, Katara didn’t need a soliloquy to emphasize her connection to Aang once he disappeared. She trusts that he will return. She says so herself. I guess I just don’t understand how you got from Point A, Katara has consistent faith in Aang, to Point B, Katara and the rest of the Gaang didn’t care about Aang’s disappearance. It’s honestly a bit more like Point A to Point Z, lmao! If you would like to expand on your logic here, I would love to hear more!!

There are a few specific aspects I want to note about your rationale, though. You argue the Gaang moves from ‘Aang disappeared’ to ‘let’s find Iroh,’ but the Gaang actually went from:

1. Aang disappeared!

2. They search the entire island for him.

3. Okay, they couldn’t find him, so they track down June and have her try to find Aang.

4. June says to them, “No, I mean he’s gone gone. He doesn’t exist.” (And she clarifies to Sokka that she doesn’t mean dead, either - she means Aang has totally blinked out of their world.)

5. Only after all of this do they decide to track down Iroh.

The Gaang cares immensely about the fact that Aang is gone, and you could actually argue they waste time by trying to track him down. They don’t give up until June essentially tells them that some Spirit World shenanigans were involved. Even if you don’t think they reached that specific conclusion, I have to ask: What else were they supposed to do? They were told Aang didn’t exist! How are they supposed to fix that?

Well, they can’t. So they do the next best thing: they find Iroh, the man who knows Ozai better than anyone and is also one of the most talented firebenders in the world. In my opinion, that’s a very logical step to take.

“Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

I’ll be blunt here, lol: in my opinion, nothing of what you listed in your ask is inherently romantic.

Okay. I am going to assume you’ve read the first two posts I linked earlier (“Zvtara did not have an E-L arc” and “the ‘canon’ Zvtara of rabid zkers has issues”), because I do not intend to rehash everything they contain, lol. Consequently, I presume you realize by now that there was no canon romantic interest between Zuko and Katara.

And as I always say, just because there wasn’t a canon romance doesn’t mean people can’t take fanon routes! Of course they can! That’s the entire point of fanon! But fanon is not canon, and I am strictly referring to canon in my discussions.

You claim Katara was all over Zuko, which in itself I don’t think is an accurate assessment, because she doesn’t really do anything with Zuko outside the three points you bring up (other than the June gag, which I addressed in one of the aforementioned linked posts). So I’ll go ahead and break down each instance you provide!

1. “[Katara] was giving [Zuko] a pep talk about Iroh”

Katara asked Zuko if he was okay. She asked him if he was genuinely sorry. She reassures him that Iroh will forgive him. That’s… all. Not to diminish the significance of this conversation, but it’s not exactly an intimate, romantically-charged discussion (unless fanon-ized). But on that note, let’s tackle the canon significance of this moment!

Katara knows firsthand the challenge of forgiving Zuko. And she knows that Zuko understands how hard it was for her to forgive him (note: Katara’s anger was totally justified, and anyone who disagrees is probably a rabid Zuko stan lmao). She also recognizes that Zuko is terrified it will take Iroh the same struggle to forgive him that Katara went through. This scene is not related to romance at all. It’s about compassion. It’s about Katara and Zuko’s friendship having progressed, slowly but surely, to the point where she’s not afraid to extend empathy to him anymore (seeing as the first time, beneath Ba Sing Se, did not go so well; you know - Aang died and all). It’s about Zuko recognizing his own fallibility (and the audience recognizing how much he’s grown). He questions how he can even face his uncle after all he’s done to the man, which is a far cry from his entitled attitude in TSR, where he demanded to know why Katara didn’t trust him when everyone else had forgiven him.

To make this moment, this moment about Zuko’s relationship with his uncle who is all but a literal father to him, this moment of vulnerability, of guilt, of remorse, of growth, to claim this powerful moment is about a nonexistent romantic relationship? In my opinion, that is incredibly reductive to what this scene is supposed to signify. And again, there is nothing wrong with people exploring such a possibility in fanon, but in canon? Nah. It doesn’t track.

2. “[Katara] was going with [Zuko] to Azula”

Don’t forget that at first, Zuko planned to take on Azula alone. He doesn’t request Katara to accompany him until Iroh tells him that he’ll need help. As such, Zuko’s immediate agreement with Iroh is reflective of his personal growth (Book 1 and 2 Zuko would have argued and insisted he didn’t need any help). It also demonstrates, however, that Katara was not obsessively on Zuko’s mind. He doesn’t choose Katara until Iroh points out that Zuko will need assistance in taking Azula down. This means that Zuko’s choice of Katara to join him is a tactical decision, not an emotional one. And by all accounts, it’s a damn good decision! Zuko witnessed firsthand beneath Ba Sing Se a) how powerful Katara was (e.g. that wave after Aang died) and b) how Katara was the only one who could take on Azula*.

Of course, besides the fact that Katara was the only match for Azula, who else was Zuko going to choose? Sokka and Suki, while talented in their own right, were no competition for Azula. Toph, while the greatest earthbender in the world, was needed to metalbend the airships. Katara was the only (and the best!) option.

Also, on their trip to face Azula, the only thing they talk about within their three lines of canon conversation are Azula and Aang. Not exactly a romantic flight, lmao.

*Zuko never saw Aang fight Azula on the drill.

3. “[Katara] was healing [Zuko] and saying he saved her not the other way around”

Actually, this is what the transcript says:

Zuko: Thank you, Katara.

Katara: I think I’m the one who should be thanking you.

You’re right about how their lines refer to them saving each other, but you posit it as a romantic moment, when the lines are actually pretty straightforward. Zuko thanks Katara as she heals him from the partially-redirected lightning strike, and Katara thanks him for trying to redirect the lightning away from her and in doing so saving her life. In terms of canon, there’s nothing romantic about this, lol! (Which I talked about extensively in the E-L post, if you need to reference it again.) The reason being is that you have to take the show itself into context when you do analysis. If there was no canon romantic buildup between Zuko and Katara, why would these lines in canon (not fanon! fanon is free rein, lmao) be interpreted through a romantic lens?

Well, they wouldn’t be interpreted as such. Plain and simple.

“I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

Because looking through a canon lens, they aren’t romantic. That’s all. You are of course welcome to view them as such through a fanon lens!! It’s just about recognizing the line between canon and fanon.

“I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed.”

I asked earlier what content in the show itself led you to believe. I have wracked my own mind, and I cannot think of anything that would point to this conclusion. Zuko was in Katara’s good graces for 5 episodes. That’s 8% of the show. Not exactly a lot of time for Zuko to start believing his life would be pointless if Katara was killed, is it?

This post explains the improbability of Zuko having a crush on Katara within canon.

This post explains how Zuko’s racism towards the Air Nomads in TSR and the finale is, well, exactly that - racism (and not a sign of a crush on Katara).

And, of course, as has been said a million times, Zuko taking the lightning for Katara out of romantic interest would completely undermine his redemption arc. Since it has been said over and over and over, I will be brief: Zuko taking the lightning is significant because it is a selfless act (one of his only in the series), and it directly parallels his selfish act of choosing not to intervene when Azula killed Aang with lightning beneath Ba Sing Se. This moment demonstrates Zuko’s growth, how he has learned to accept unconditional love from Iroh and the Gaang and Mai and even Ty Lee and sure, even from Appa and Momo, too. To make this moment of pure selflessness about a nonexistent romance? To force a fanon romance in replacement of canon redemption and canon platonic significance?

Such a decision speaks wonders about a person’s priorities, in my opinion, as well as how amatonormativity impacts them.

Furthermore, Zuko’s choice cements Katara’s position as his surrogate sibling, as she is Azula’s primary foil. Zuko chooses the sister who heals over the sister who harms. I won’t go too much into it here, because it has already been talked about extensively before! Thus, I offer you this post that explains how Zuko and Katara - in canon - are positioned as surrogate siblings as well as Azula’s role in this matter. I also offer this post that lays out through screencaps how Zuko and Katara - in canon - treat each other like family.

Additional sources about the final Agni Kai:

This post in part discusses fanon misinterpretation of the final Agni Kai and why such a lens is not true to canon relationships.

This post explains why the final Agni Kai is not intended to be romantic.

This post explains how the final Agni Kai is primarily about Azula and how reducing it to be a big Zvtara moment is detrimental to both her and to Zuko and Katara themselves.

“And then literally at the end, Mai shows up after Zuko not talking about her at all for six episodes and declares herself Zuko’s girlfriend.”

This point could probably get a post of its own, lol, but fortunately I and others have already written a few! I will link them below - first, however, I question your choice of “declares.” Technically, yes, Mai does say outright that it doesn’t hurt how the new Fire Lord is her boyfriend, but your phrasing implies Zuko resisted her proclamation. When… he doesn’t. In fact, he embraces it, asking if that means she doesn’t hate him anymore (read: he asks if they’re back on good terms again). Zuko clearly doesn’t have a problem with the girl he loves wanting to be with him again - so why do some parts of fandom so adamantly insist he does? (Not you, anon - I am referring to the rabid fanoners, lol.)

Also, regarding how Zuko hasn’t talked about Mai for six episodes, we’ve gotta be realistic with this assessment in terms of canon:

1. It was the crux of the war. They were either going to live or die. There was no time for romance at this point! Sokka and Suki weren’t professing their love on the battlefield, lmao, so it’s not exactly strange that Zuko didn’t bust into a monologue about how he missed Mai. I think they were just a little bit distracted by the possible end of the world, lol, and all that jazz.

2. Zuko probably thought Mai was dead. He knows what Azula is like. He knows his sister doesn’t have time for people who get in her way (Aang can testify to this, lmao). So can you blame him for not wanting to think about how the girl he loved had died (to his knowledge) to save him?

You gotta cut the kid some slack, lol. Anyways! Additional sources about Maiko:

This post breaks down the notion of Maiko and “deserve.”

This post rationalizes through a canon lens why Mai’s arrival at the palace surprised Zuko.

This post is the mother of Maiko metas, explaining in tremendous detail why their relationships works, is relevant to canon, and was well-implemented for what its role was.

“And Katara kisses Aang after being annoyed with and by him arguably since The Southern Raiders.”

What in canon has led you to the conclusion that Katara was annoyed with Aang? What specific moments from TSR to the finale made you think Katara was annoyed with Aang and remained annoyed with Aang? Are there any, or are you thinking about fanon interpretation? (Canon vs fanon strikes again!)

In TSR, Katara explicitly thanks Aang for understanding her perspective. Nothing there is indicative of annoyance (and as in the links provided earlier, she was not angry at Aang/Zuko/etc. so much as she was at herself. well, she was a little bit angry with Zuko, lmao). In EIP, Katara is understandably angry at Aang’s decision to kiss her, but Aang completely backs off, and we see in the part 1 of the finale that there are no hard feelings or weird tension between them. Katara in fact actively expresses concern for Aang after Zuko sporadically attacked him when she demands of the firebender, “What’s wrong with you? You could have hurt Aang!” Even when Aang and Katara do butt heads later in the episode as Aang tries to think of a way to defeat Ozai without killing him, Katara doesn’t stay frustrated. Like I said - when she and Zuko are flying to Azula, she demonstrates her unwavering faith in Aang through her belief that he will return. So… where is the annoyance that you feel was present?

With all this mind, i.e. looking strictly at canon, Katara wasn’t annoyed with Aang during this time. Thus, Katara kisses Aang because she loved him. Because he backed off and gave her the space she needed to make a decision about if she wanted to be with him (hence Katara being the one to initiate the kiss). Because the issue was never about if she reciprocated his feelings (they both knew they loved each other) but rather it had to do with the war. At the end of the finale, the war is over, and there is nothing that prevents them from being together. Simple.

This post explains how Katara’s feelings for Aang develop throughout the series (and were not neglected, as rabid zkers like to claim, for some reason? again - you are not one of them, anon).

This post also covers Katara’s interest in Aang throughout the series.

“I can’t understand why Kataang shippers are okay with such a crap story.”

I mean, you definitely don’t have to ship Kataang. It may not be your cup of tea, and that’s totally okay! But as the above links demonstrate, Kataang was a fantastic story. It was well-implemented into the narrative from Day 1. The soulmateism is unparalleled!

Also, it’s worth noting that A:TLA itself was essentially pre-written. The writers knew how the story would end from the get-go, including that the show would end with Kataang. A few Zvtara gags were thrown in to add a sense of “who will Katara choose?” drama as the show aired, but Zuko and Katara were never planned to end up together. One reason so many newer fans are fine with Kataang from the start is that there’s no tension of waiting a week for a new episode when you can watch all 61 episodes straight through on Netflix, lmao. It’s even more obvious now than when A:TLA was airing that Aang and Katara will end up together, if that makes sense. (Although I talked about this in the E-L post linked earlier, so you probably understand this point already, as it was explained in detail there!)

All of this is to say that Kataang is not a “crap story” in terms of writing (again, personal taste is a different matter) because it was woven in from the beginning and had powerful narrative significance! (Kataang represented numerous complementary components of the series, such as yin and yang, push and pull, air and water, Oma and Shu, etc.)

Now. If you really and truly want to understand why Kataang shippers like Kataang, anon, consider reading some Kataang fanfics or exploring some Kataang headcanons. I read fics involving Zvtara more regularly than you might think, lol, because… well, it’s just a ship. I understand the appeal of romantic Zvtara and I can actually appreciate it when it’s well-written! I’m sure if you’re willing to put in just a little legwork (you don’t need to go the whole mile, lmao - ‘tis just fandom), you’ll realize why people like Kataang, even if it isn’t exactly your thing. You have the range, anon!! You got this!

I hope I managed to answer your questions, my friend! As always, you do not have to agree with anything I have said here. It is totally fine if you and anyone else disagrees! Everything above is simply my own perspective on the matter. Thank you for taking the time to read my response and all the different links I provided! I hope it has expanded your understanding of the subject at hand!

[yoshikoooo]

Yan Reader x Childe

Warning: Contains material that may be harmful or traumatizing to some readers ⚠️❗❗

Synopsis: Basically You ravaging on some poor guys who happened to hurt Childe.

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“Childe!”

You called in concern unto the mans name as You saw How bloody mess was he again.

"I.. I’m fine"

He weakly said as He leaned at the wall and eventually Sat down. You had many questions to ask, Yet you know its not the time for it, You quickly run to get The first aid kit and ran back to him who was Still on the entrance of your home.

You rushed to open the box and started treating his wounds. You took a deep sigh before talking.

"What happened?"

You Looked at him, A Dangerous smile Curved up your lips, It did sent shivers to the mans body, but he also loved this side of you, Ah~ how he wished you could be more rough with him-

You asked, the tenderness and care present as you tried to be careful with his new wounds, careful enough not to hurt him.

"Nothing much-"

"Darling~ I'm asking you a Question~"

Despite Your Wide smile, The voice within it was scary, It was intimidating, as if a black aura would surely appear behind you, ready to devour the man alive if He dared to lie once again. The ginger man just sigh deeply as he knew You were not going to give up until he spoke the truth.

"I was just killing some Ruin guards on the way, When I got ambushed by some Fatui, They were definitely the traitors That I heard From la signora. At the same time, I was on the mission To also get rid of them, but They weren't that easy to catch since they had visions with them too. When I got them cornered up, Ruin guards suddenly Popped up and Went after me, it was chaotic that they even took that chance to run away... Tsk, I'll make sure to really kill them later. "

He said as His eyes darken at the thought of Killing them. He surely won't just give them death Easily, He's surely going to toy with them until They themselves beg for death like a Damn Worm on the ground, Begging to be stepped at and be crushed to death, Well you would surely do the same.

although, You on the other hand, was furious and enraged at hearing at the news.

'huh? Who dares to touch what's mine?'

You thought as You gritted your teeth, Childe didn't know this side of you, and Surely, You Only have this side For childe. If the brunette man knew this side of you, Oh boy, He would surely love to see the scene wherein you spout sweet, crazy nothings such as claiming him as yours and that no one would touch him and only you, Although hidden in the dark, He Know nothing About you being such a psychotic woman that would crush and smash every being that dared to come in between you both. He only knew you as the Kind and adorable you, one that would be afraid to point a knife to someone nor even dare kill an animal without hesitating. It wasn't his fault for not knowing the other side of you, after all It was your choice to hide it, as a ugly part of you was afraid to show him such Dirty side of you, You were simply just too good with hiding things, Too good that felt like you were trained professionally.

"So.. You're heading out again..? With these injuries..?"

You asked innocently as you poked the wound on his chest softly.

"Haha, I know I'm pushing myself, But there's nothing to worry about, cause Once I finish my business with those guys, I will surely take a Rest!"

He tried to reassure you, and you just nodded, playing along with him.

"Sure, But at least eat before You head out, And I'm not done bandaging your arms since We runned out of bandages, I'll just head out and buy more."

You said calmly as you placed a kiss on his cheeks and he did the same.

"Be fast~"

He said with a cheeky smile making your lips curve upward unconsciously. After that, you head out, The smile on your face faded as you looked up to see the dark sky, wherein the moonlight blessed the land with its light together with the stars, You went to the pharmacy and bought bandages as you told him you would, you also added some other things, But you didn't head straight to home, You Headed straight to a building, A tall and Guarded one at that.

Masked mans Walked up to you.

"Miss Y/n, Do you need something?"

They asked as they bowed to showed respect.

"I Need to talk with la signora, Is she busy~?"

You asked and gave a soft and intimidating smile, as if taking a "No" would surely be the end of them, Making it hard for the Fatui infront of you to talk.

"Hm~? Y/n, Do you need something?"

A woman's voice asked as you looked at the right side to see La signora walking towards you while her platinum blonde hair sways and smile.

"Ah~  signora~ I apologize for the sudden visit" You politely said as You smiled at the tall and fair lady Infront of you.

"It's fine, Lets take this to my office"

She said as she started walking ahead, Letting you follow behind.

The trip on your way to her office was quiet and tense.

She opened the door and the both of you went inside.

"Go ahead and take a seat"

She ordered as she went to her own sit. You Obediently followed.

"Now, State your business"

She sternly said, making you gulp hardly.

" The mission Childe took, Mind If I take over it?"

You headed straight to the point making signora Look at You for awhile before A small chuckle came out.

"Eh? Was The mission too much for the Ginger boy?"

She asked as she leaned her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Of course not, He could Slice their throat in one go If some pest didn't dare to intervene."

You said as you tried defending Your lover, You can't possibly let his fellow harbinger look down on him. only you are allowed to do that to him-

"Yes, of course he can, I heard Ruin guards Suddenly entered the scene and that's where It went All Astray from the plan the Boy had."

She said as she seemed to know the whole situation. She paused as she think about your Question again and smiled as she made the decision.

" Its Fine If you take over, although, I wonder if That childe would Even Allow you to take over~? "

She asked as her light gray eyes sparkled with amusement. She was definitely enjoying this.

"Of course, he surely won't...But in the first place , I wonder if he would even Know about it"

You smiled making the woman Chuckle.

"Ain't you such a Bad girl? letting your boyfriend be in the dark, making a fool out of him?"

She suddenly said making you  look at her, displeased at what she said. as if she didn't do the same-

"I'm simply protecting my Beloved childe from the impurities this world has to give."

You said and gave a smile in the end, she just laughed softly.

"Should I send some backups?"

She Asked as she looked at her nails, You stood up.

"No thank You... But a help From you would be nice"

You said and smiled innocently. Making the Lady Look at you, as if she knew What you were asking her for help.

"Do I need to bring their Heads for proof?"

You asked and tilted your head onto the side.

"Their mask and vision is fine"

She answered and sigh deeply before she continued.

"Sure, I’ll help to cover up your involvement in this, You can leave now"

She stated making you smile widely.

"I appreciate it... then This humble one shall excuse herself."

You said as you bowed politely, then you went out as you heard a soft chuckle from the Lady. You thanked the archons as she was willing to cooperate, Your relation with La signora wasn't that bad, It was somehow sort of like a big sister and sister relationship. Although the difference was the Danger lurking behind your backs.

You finally Headed straight home to see your Lovely Childe.

A smile Reached Your lips as you simply thought about childe , You twist the doorknob open and went in, Closing it afterwards.

"That took you long~"

You saw childe pouting on the couch. You placed the things you bought on the table.

"Sorry~ I also looked into some Ointments that would surely heal your wounds faster"

You said as you kissed his cheeks and sat beside him. He slip his arm to your shoulder making you look at childe who was already staring at you, sorrow and mournful feeling evidently filling his eyes.

"Am I really allowed to be with you..?"

He suddenly asked as His beautiful ocean eyes stayed lifeless, Lips curved down. Your  heart quickly shattered as you looked at how the air of melancholy surrounded the Man in front of you. You didn't like how his lips would turn downward and the light on his eyes would just disappear like a  trace of smoke. This state of him makes him vulnerable, yet you knew, He too only has this side for you, knowing that, A whole sense of relief filled you and your eyes soften.

"I love you, Childe, only you and always you.."

You said genuinely and lovingly, it was short yet his lips finally curved upward making him smile in satisfactory as if It was the right words he wanted to hear.

"I love you too"

He said as he kissed you passionately and deeply, You knew where this is heading, Yet you guys can't possibly do it when he's injured so You pushed him lightly. Once you pulled away he seemed kind of disappointed, You chuckled lightly as how adorable he is.

"I Hope you're not forgetting something."

You said and pointed at the bandages and poke his chest again making him pout like a cute little puppy, You love him so much, Too much that You can't resist the feelings of Killing someone whenever They try to harm or converse with Your Beloved childe.

Once you finished bandaging his arms, You mentioned to brew him some Chamomile tea which he agreed to drink before leaving.

"Chamomile Will help you calm down, Since I know You might push yourself again and Make more wounds"

You nag softly and gave him his drink.

"Yes, Yes~ I'll be careful~"

He playfully said making you nod as if You didn't knew He would literally Injure his self more but you know, That won't happen tonight. You were literally at your limit. Almost every week, he would come home to you with a new wound, and Sometimes You saw How some Fatui talk behind His back, It irritated you. You were itching to Kill them all this time. It was as if those feelings were a a Festering Poison twisting everything Your humane features were.

You patted his head as he drink the tea. Then you drank yours as well.

"wah~ This taste Good~"

He said as leaned back at the couch making himself more comfortable. You smiled as the medicine is working, you actually put some soporific drugs in his tea. You noticed how His eyes seemed to fight his eyelids back from closing.

"Childe? Are you sleepy?"

You asked as you feign ignorance, Your tone never changing, He nodded in response.

"then, take a nap, I'll wake you up after an hour then"

You innocently said as you smiled and caressed his face, You can hear him humming in response as He fell on the pillow. You took a blanket and placed it on him, carefully tucking him in.

You knew the medicine won't work That much for childe, so you decided to work fast, You kissed his forehead and Putted on your coat, Heading outside to Find those Bastards.

"Time to hunt some animals"

Signora Gave you The latest information They have on The Traitors and you quickly went To The place. It's been awhile since you've been active so You felt Excited.

═════════•°•⚠•°•═════════

You smiled and Looked around the area.

'Where are they..-"

You grinned ear to ear as You saw a small camp With some fatui who was gravely injured probably due to Childe.

You walked towards it and they began to be alerted.

" State Your name! "

They shouted as You saw their visions glow while they quickly went to a awkward fighting stance.

" I was right.. These sh*ts really doesn't deserve his time.."

You mumbled as Your vision glow, without even them processing what happened, Their Toes Was already frozen, and You took that chance to take their Vision. Protest and resistance were heard from the two.

‘Hydro.. pyro..’

"heh...So You're the Dogs who Tried to kill MY Childe right..?"

You asked as you tilted your head on the side, making the both man Tremble in fear, They didn't bother to speak a word nor even Move.

That ticked you off. The forest around you started to froze, The green leaves turning Icy Blue, Their brown trunks are now Frozen, the ground getting covered in ice as if you turned a part of the forest into a part of dragonspine.

"Hey, Who do you think you guys are? You're both just some useless sh*t who was given a vision. That's all. Nothing special. Yet I, myself don't understand your idiotic actions that led you to Infiltrate the fatui and even dare to Touch What's mine."

You said while Playing with their visions.

"who would've thought You guys were just some spineless bastard who just got lucky By scratching My beloved childe"

You went to them and took their Mask Off.

Tsk.

"Now, I know what's the use of this mask for"

You disgustingly looked at them and started to back away and sat on a Chair.

"Y-You.. Y-You Monster!"

One of them shouted as He tried to Devour you with his Hydro, but within a snap of fingers it all got frozen, making the man Look at you with horrified eyes.

"eh.. If You want to live, Then try harder with that pea brain of yours. At this rate, A damn hilichurl might be stronger than you despite the both of you having visions. Tsk.. in the first place why the F*ck does someone like you deserve a vision?"

You said while you brush the Imaginary dirt on your coat. You looked at them sternly, as they just Tremble like a damn mouse who got trapped.

" Ah~ This is boring"

You yawned as you looked at the Beautiful moon.

"I'll be kind enough to Teach you guys a lesson before getting rid of you both."

You stretched and summoned 5 Cryo swords, flying around in a high speed as they purposely Miss and Scratch the two fatui.

"aagh!"

"N-No!- Ah!"

Groans and hiss of pain Are heard and You just watched them cry and beg for you to stop.

"What do you mean 'stop?' you Disreputable creatures dares touch what's mine with your dirty hands. you even dared scratch it, You must have wanted to die badly right? Its alright, I'm here, I'll give you all the pain and death you want~!”

You laughed as their groanings continued, Blood Staining the ground and even splashes as they get Scratched deeply. The cryo sword were like dancing waltz, it was beautiful, Every Turn and moves would have red Staining The beautiful color of Ice.

Looking at the scene, Anyone would describe you as a psychotic woman who enjoys Gore and violence. Well they might not be wrong about that since you are actually enjoying the gore scene in front of you, Those thugs that dared to scratch Your one and only childe, Are now screaming in pain, and begging you to stop.

'Ah~ how pleasurable to the ears.'

'Maybe if they didn't bother touching what's mine, They wouldn't have ended up like a damn dirty Pig.'

Minutes passed and it suddenly started to dull you out.

"Speak"

You demanded them as the cryo swords stopped dancing, as if the music on the background Finally ended.

"P-Pleas...e.... K-Kill.. Me! Kill me!"

One of them pleaded as Blood Continued dripping down on his body. You laughed.

"pfft...Don't you know that You look so Pathetic Right now?! Are you guys really the said traitors that even a harbinger had a hard time catching? HAHA! I bet if childe saw this, he would be laughing till He's on his knees."

You said as you hold your stomach trying to gain your Posture back.

"Fine~ since I'm now in a good mood , I'll give you the death you want~"

You simply said as the other person smiled in relief.

You snap your fingers and suddenly, Cryo swords began forming ontop of them, 10....15....26....30.. 37...40...45 and it continued.

You could see how their eyes widened in horror once again.

“W-Why..?! W-Why are you D-Doing this?! We’ve d-done nothing wrong..! “

One of them suddenly asked a question as he screamed in despair making you smile widely.

"hmm..? What do you mean? This is entirely all for love~”

You said and chuckled slightly as You saw how The life in their eyes seemed to fade and perish in an instant.

You snap your fingers once again and one by one, the swords began falling. It was as if Raining swords. What a sight to behold indeed.

You saw how the 2 figure in front of you get stabbed every second, Blood beautifully staining the frozen ground again but harshly this time, and their screaming joining in, making You smile in satisfactory.

You stood up and decided to go back. You called the fatui who was definitely spectating from the orders of La signora down.

"At your service!"

He bowed on one knee.

"The mission is finished"

You said as You handed the Masks and visions to the man.

"I'll relay the Message"

He said and disappeared. You started sprinting back to your house. Throwing the coat away somewhere.

Once you opened the door slowly, You got greeted by childe who is barely standing up on the entrance of your house. He looked confused and hurt, and it sort of pained you.

"Y-Y/n...? Why..?"

He asked as there was confusion evident in his voice. Is he suspecting you? No way. Before he say another word, You cupped his face, as you smiled softly

"A fellow subordinate of yours came to report, Since I felt bad waking you up, I decided to go instead-"

You were cutted off when he took your shoulders, gripping it tightly, making the both of you fell down, despite the medicine working, he still had this enormous strength within him.

"Did Those Sh*ts touch you?"

He asked in a stern voice, A voice that would literally murder anyone. It surely send shivers down your spine, and you clearly liked it.

You smiled to reassure him.

"No, Actually he reported that, Those guys you were after, was found dead, It seems their injuries was so deep that They probably died of blood loss"

You patted his head and he sigh out of relief, leaning towards you as he felt his legs giving up.

"That's good to hear.."

He said as he digged his head unto your neck. you nodded and caressed his head. The warmth Of his body seemed to calm you down too.

" Shall we head to the bedroom? you seem tired."

You concernedly asked as you help him stand up, walking towards the bedroom you both share. once you placed the man on the bed, you joined him as well.

"Rest well, Childe~"

You Whispered and kissed his forehead.

"I love.. you too.. Y/n"

You heard him mumbled  sleepily as his eyes finally closed, drifting to dreamland. You stared at childe, The only man that would make you go Crazy If someone dared to steal him from you. He was precious to you, enough that You would surely damn the entire world for him just to make him happy. you would surely despise the Gods and resent destiny If that is what makes him happy. If ever he wanted to burn Liyue, crush mondstadt to pieces and Turn Inazuma to nothing but specks of ashes, You would love to stand beside him and see the artwork The both of you made while Satisfactory pasted on both of your faces.

 "You're only mine childe... After all... No one else will ever love you as much as I do. "

You mumbled and gave another peck on his lips and closed your eyes to drift to sleep.

⚛》》»»»◈«««《《⚛

Hi~ It's been awhile, I had aLoT~ of fun writing this, and I hope You did as well in reading it..

I'm so awkward sh*t.

Well, Anyways, You can't spell slaughter without any laughter ~

[ask-the-lgbtqs-of-lovestruck]

To the beautiful ladies of L&L, I was wonder if I could ask you about something I've been struggling with for a while. I've been struggling with figuring out if I'm asexual or not (I would still like to have a romantic relationship but...). Whenever I try to talk to my parents about it, they always shut me down. Sorry if this is too much, feel free to ignore.

“I am disheartened to hear that those who are raising you will not listen. They may not be ready for such a discussion now, but I do hope that will change. As for this struggle you describe, please know that it is not unusual to question one's sexual identity. It is also not uncommon for one without sexual desire to also have loving, romantic relationships. Whatever questions you may have, I would urge you to share them with a close, trusted friend, or a mentor. You may, of course, ask any of us as well, if it better suits you.”

“Sorry I got this message late, but the shop has kept me busy. It isn’t unusual to question your sexuality. I went through a period where I thought I was lesbian, then straight, before I realized I was bisexual. Thankfully my mother was supportive. I suggest you talk with a close friend or perhaps an old teacher. Of course, you can ask us or any of the others here, not just us Legends ladies.”

“It is never too early or too late in one’s journey in life to question things like attraction and romantic relations. I knew fairly young I was drawn to women, and even lacking experience did not change that truth for me. Take however long you need, my friend. There is no need to rush these things. With lots of exploration and research, you could come to your own conclusion. Best of luck!”

“It’s perfectly normal to question where you fall in terms of sexuality, gender, and/or romantic relationships. Sometimes you have to be comfortable enough to live in uncertainty until you figure out what is right for you. There are lots of online resources you could look up. I know for myself, being able to talk to MC about being Pansexual meant so much to me. I also joined a few groups on social media to find other people I could relate to and was lucky to find many people willing to answer my questions. They also shared their own stories, which made me realize how similar and different all of our situations are. The beauty of finding what suits you, is that there isn’t a right or wrong way to go about it. There is also the comfort of knowing that you can always change your mind and find something more applicable for you over time. It’s your life, find what fits you best, even if that changes or evolves into something else.”

“I am sad to hear that your parents aren’t receptive to your request of their support. My child Imohn had discovered many things about themselves in their adolescence. They identify not only as Nonbinary, but also as Aromantic and Asexual. I supported them every step of the way, as I do with all of my children. I hope that you can find the answers for yourself and have trusted companions or perhaps another member of your bloodline that might be willing to help along your path. If your parents continue to not support you, know that I support you as a fellow Mother. Come to my kingdom anytime you need a reminder of that.”

[wisteria-lodge]

bird primary (system in progress) + burnt badger secondary (really loud bird model)

Howdy! I’m still trying to figure out my own houses and was wondering if you could provide some insight. I haven’t exactly mastered the system so I don’t know how accurate/inaccurate my claims are, so bear with me.

The “why”/Primary: I am extremely motivated by knowledge. I want to know things, not just out of intrinsic curiosity (though that does play a role), but because knowing why things work helps me protect myself more effectively.

One of the trickiest things about this system is separating motivation from method. Because yeah, they are related, but they're also really different. Like this example: "I protect myself by learning things." That's a how, that's secondary stuff. (Bird secondary of course.)

A recent example is this— a group of my former friends all ditched me because I discussed a heavily stigmatized mental disorder that I show symptoms of. And my first response (other than bawling) was to ask them why. And when I got the answer, I was hurt, but I understood. I don’t say this for you to show me pity, but rather because it illustrates this model in action.

This is a really interesting example. Your friends acted in a way that emotionally hurt you. First you processed your feelings (which you talk about in a dismissive, lighthearted, jokey way) then you asked them for more information... which hurt you, but also made you more secure. This is very Bird primary. You feel feelings, but they're whatever. What actually bothers you is not having the data.

(I suspect you're going to end up being a Double Bird. And Double Birds are unique in that their morality and problem-solving are SO interconnected, that they think I'm crazy for saying that for most people, they are in fact two very different things.)

When I got the why and processed my emotions, I cut off ties and realized that their severe judgy-ness had hindered my life for 2 years. And now that I know the “why”, I won’t bring up said disorder again until I know it’s safe. It might never be, but I still have hope.

You updated your system, and you cut away the parts that aren't serving you anymore. Bird primary.

Morally-speaking, I am very sensitive to the views of others around me.

External primary.

I’m not proud of this. In fact, it’s a detriment.

A lot of Birds feel this way. It's a big part of why they tend to like Lion primaries. Lions are much more able to dismiss things with "sounds like that's a them problem."

I won’t go into details, but my parents are… bad. Not wholly, but they are bad. I’ve tried for years, and still do, to escape their opinions because I know it’ll influence mine.

Parents are sticky. They do that. I've been a happily UnBurnt Lion primary for a while now... but I still sometimes hear that voice in my head that sounds like my mother.

And, much like them, I tend to get over-passionate in what I stand for. Unlike them, I’m willing to change if evidence supports this change. I always, however, carry the burden of my former hatred. I always feel guilt over my old beliefs. Even if I’ve changed, the pain I’ve done can never be reversed. And this guilt eats me alive, this shame of being fundamentally wrong.

Okay. You got really emotional on me really quickly here. This could mean a couple things. Your parents sound like fairly toxic Idealists, either Exploded Lions or Exploded Birds (I'm sort of leaning Lion due to the more emotion-heavy words like "passion" and "hatred.") Birds can feel bad, feel guilt, feel shame when looking back at an older version of themselves that they now consider morally repugnant. (Birds are human.) Idealists struggle with the angst of worrying that they are fundamentally wrong about the world. So you could be a guilty Bird, especially if your emotions feel wrong or unhelpful somehow. But you could also be a very Burnt Lion modeling Bird - because Bird seems safer, and you don't want to be a Lion the way your parents are.

When the friend-event happened, I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had once again fucked myself over because of my passion and sureness in what I have.

"I thought I was wrong because I was acting like an Exploded Lion primary." Yeah, I'm thinking there's some sort of outside influence here that needs to be unpacked.

It took a lot of convincing and evidence for me to see that they were the assholes (albeit I wasn’t pure either— I was their friend, after all).

I'm definitely leaning Bird for you. A bird surrounded by Lions maybe, who sometimes uses Lion terminology. But Bird.

I am a planner and system-lover at heart. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just part of me.

What's with all this negative language? Being a planner and a system-lover is a wonderful thing to be. There's some Burning here.

The caveat— I have autism, so I’m not sure if it’s due to that or not. Hence the shortness of this section. Take it as you will, regardless of if it’s evidence or not.

I have autism and I'm a Lion Badger. People are different. The only real pattern I've observed is the way nerodivergent people disproportionately build Bird secondaries as coping strategies.

Honesty is maybe not the best policy, it’s still an admirable one. I wish, frankly, that my moral system was more honest. I feel like I have no set morals. That it all comes from elsewhere. Lion primaries have this set, intrinsic morality that I envy. My friend is a lion primary, and while my views have radically changed, hers haven’t inched. She’s always been honest about herself and what she holds true.

I'm doubling down on Bird primary for you. This is the perspective of a Bird looking in on a Lion. Lion morality isn't set or intrinsic - it's built, and it changes, but it builds and changes differently than a Bird's does (more slowly, usually). But there really is a pattern of Birds seeing it as more moral/easier/better.

And I’m still trying to figure out what “truth” means to me. I mean, yes, I’m a dry and blunt asshole, but that’s not really the same as gut morality. Internal honesty is what I want, and external honesty is what I have to some extent.

It sounds that you are going though a lot of very intense shifts in your life right now. You've got a diagnosis that has you questioning your place in the world. You've followed your parent's system all you life, and are now deciding that you don't want that. But now comes deciding what you do want, and that's a lot harder (especially for a Bird, who has to build it from the ground up.) You like the way Lions do things, but Lion primaries do not feel accessible.

I’m very clear with who I like. I can admit their faults, and even get annoyed or angry at them, but not even betrayal can stop me from loving them. I’d compare myself to the Twelfth Doctor from “Doctor Who” and Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders in that regard.

So maybe you are building a system with very Snake values.

Loyalty is one of my weaknesses. I get overly-attached to people, and so if/when they leave me, it shatters my world. But my brand of loyalty is mostly to people, not philosophical ideas.

... but you're not *really* comfortable with Snake either, if you consider it to be a "weakness."

I would consider myself somewhat philosophical (well, as much as a fucking teenager can be)

Teenagers are *extremely* philosophical, stop being so down on yourself.

but I can be somewhat vague in my beliefs.

Because you're still building them, give yourself a *second.*

If I were to rate the likelihood of what primary I think I am, it’s something like this:

Bird: 9/10 probability (maybe burned)

Snake: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability (maybe burned)

Lion: 2/10 probability

What is it with Birds and numbered lists?

The “how”: I feel like I change in order to fit in. I mean, to some extent, we all do, but it’s far more drastic for me. With the lion primary friend, I act as a “Jason Todd” to their Batman. I challenge them, egg them on, crack jokes and become violently passionate and act like a nerd, and she simply watches, usually adding her own comments but mostly sitting on the sidelines by choice. We also joke that I’m the Ferris Bueller to their Cameron Frye. But, with another friend, I’m a parent figure. I listen most of the time, and sometimes jump in with creative ideas and we talk for hours about it.

I'm guessing Actor Bird, both because you can specifically list out the qualities that you "act" out. And because you're invoking and basing your performance off specific [fictional] characters. Which is a HUGE Actor Bird thing.

I go with the flow of a given situation as best as I can (with the added caveat of being autistic, because that does affect how well I can read a room). However, that’s where the adaptation ends.

Huh. I'm hearing Burnt secondary language here. "I'd like to go with the flow and read the room - but I can't, because I'm autistic." You can definitely *learn* how to read a room. Why do you think I'm so interested in (and good at :) personality systems? This is how I learned to use my Courtier Badger. I used to model Bird secondary like crazy, and I kind of don't bother anymore. I don't need the training wheels.

Planning: like I stated before, I’m a planner. I try to learn the most about a situation before jumping in. Sometimes, however, I stall the inevitable and miss my chance, so I jump in and wind up nearly drowning. And this dichotomy repeats. I overcompensate for a lack of knowledge in a situation by micromanaging, or I wind up sitting bored when I’ve already done everything I need to do. And yes, stress and boredom are equally as destructive for me. I try so hard to plan to avoid both of these outcomes, but it only works half the time. So, I guess I’m a bit of a “planster” overall.

I want to learn about a situation... but sometimes I "stall" or "drown" (Burnt language.) But planning also leads to "micromanaging" and "getting bored" (model language.) I think you've got a really loud Bird secondary model... but there might be something else underneath.

Collecting things is fun. Postcards, candles, lighters, crystals, rocks, 1940s hats, knowledge, stories, music, (original) characters, the list goes on. I’m a collector of whatever I can get my hands on. Hell, by this point, I can’t tell what’s my special interest and what I just enjoy (again, autism).

Oh my goodness gracious 'my special interest' and 'what I enjoy' are not two different categories!

But my systems and collections are my coping.

Figured.

I can’t say, though, that they hold any weight outside of emotional release. There’s nothing practical about knowing how they shot The Outsiders movie, or how crows have a flat tail and ravens have two main sections on theirs. All of this knowledge almost feels useless to me. I mean, sure, I’m great at school, but what else? Nothing, it seems like. And being good at school and nothing else makes a person go crazy when they can’t achieve their academic goals. But that’s a bit besides the point— I’m a collector, but I’m unsure how well this really fits into a secondary beyond a model.

Bird secondary model.

I invest in others more than I care to admit.

Oh man, are you a Badger secondary like me?

I genuinely believe in the goodness in humans, no matter how impossible it becomes. Even those who I don’t see any good in aren’t wholly evil. My perception isn’t law.

^ That's primary stuff. Maybe a more Badger-flavored system is going to work better for you than a Snake-flavored one.

But some people trust me: with their secrets, with homework, with relationship issues, with their religious struggles. And I try to help. I might not be good with it, but I do try to help as best I can.

Kinda sounds like a Badger secondary.

I use my planning and my categorizing skills and my knowledge to benefit others. I show up, I do what I need to do, and I don’t usually expect much to come of it. It’s nice when something does, but it’s not expected. And sometimes, these investments into others' lives and grades and relationships do pay off. I make friends. Those friends stick by me, and I trust them. I continue to invest in others, because I am a lover even though I’m cynical.

I think you're a Badger secondary.

And when that trust is broken, like the example in the beginning, I go to people who won’t abandon me to get a second opinion. When I say that I love someone, I mean it. So it hurts when they leave. It always does.

Oh that's your friends leaving hit you so hard. It's not an abstract morality thing at all, it's practical. You're a Badger secondary, and they were your base of support.

I’ll be frank on this— I’m almost entirely sure that I’m not a lion secondary. I’m fiercely efficient and some people see me as a good leader, but that’s it.

Lion and Badger are the two Inspirational secondaries. They're the one who sort of manage to collect armies or families as a side effect of existing.

Even with the leader example, I prefer interpersonal relations or to be alone. I’m not a big fan of group settings.

That's fair. I am also a Badger who really, really likes my own company. Or small groups of interesting people.

If I were to rate the likelihood of what secondary I am, it’s like this:

Bird: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability

Snake: 5/10 probability

Lion: 0/10 probability

Other systems for comparison: I’m aware that MBTI and enneagram are, at worst, pseudo-science, but I still enjoy them regardless. At best, they’re fun self-help tools, and that’s how I try to use them.

MBTI: INTJ (Ni-Te-Fi-Se)

Enneagram: 5w4, tritype 514

Sagittarius sun libra moon cancer rising in astrology

FLEV or LFEV in attitudinal psyche

sx/sp (sexual and self-preservation) in instinctual variants

MBTI, Enneagram, and astrology are all fun in their own ways. (I don't actually know the last two!) And I can talk about them on their own terms. But this system was the best, and the most useful, when I went looking for words to describe myself.

I hope this is enough information, and thank you again if you do happen to do this! If you don’t, that’s totally okay. Have a good day!

Thank you for writing in. That was a journey! Thanks @thesketchykid for the submission.

[goblinkingdomsblog]

Hello I hope you are doing well !! I was wondering if it okay to request the mafia universe where they meet the agent y/n have a moment but then the agent smile and go away in like we will meet again kinda way I’m sorry if it’s too much you don’t have to do it I appreciate your writing and love it thank you for your hard work 💕

They get hurt while running away from the police, but agent y/n helps them - part 1

Members: hyung line.

Genre: mafia!AU, reaction.

Premise: during a police chase, one of the mobsters ends up getting injured. Suddenly, you appear when he least expected it, willing to help him. You say you will see each other again in the future. With complete certainty: after all, you will guarantee it yourself.

TW: (V) = Violence.

Mafia Series Masterlist

Mafia Series Plot

Hii!! I hope you enjoy this post, and that it meets well your request!

I'm really happy to know that you like the things that I write! Thank youu!!! 💜❤😁

+ Sorry for the delay, I wanted to make a long version of this reaction. The part 2 is already posted!

"We'll see each other again, don't worry."

Namjoon:

The damn right leg. It was always that damn leg.

Namjoon gasped, lowering himself against the wall of the dark alley. The smell there was not at all pleasant, and the humidity certainly wouldn't leave his expensive suit unpunished, but he was too busy to care about that at the moment.

Everything happened in a flash: one hour, he was sitting comfortably on a soft leather sofa, talking to the leaders of the other two most important gangs in Seoul (maintaining good relations between partner companies was essential); on the other, he was running down the wet sidewalk, after escaping from the building through a side door. The damned police had somehow discovered the secret meeting, probably through a traitor, and had invaded the place, trying to kill three birds with one stone.

Even his security guards had stayed behind, exchanging shots with the police to give him enough time to escape. He hated having to escape, looking like a coward, but he knew it was necessary.

Another thing he hated: he couldn't run fast without dropping at least one of his weapons, or himself. It was in a fall on the wet street that he had injured his leg, the same one that had broken twice before, and that now was hurting again thanks to his shitty motor coordination. He knew he was being chased, so he got up and forced himself to run for several more blocks, until the pain became too unbearable to walk. It was at that moment that he hid in the alley, where he was until now.

Suddenly, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed in the wet darkness. Without a gun, he could do nothing but watch, hoping his bad luck wasn’t that glaring that day.

When you turned into the alley with your weapon in your fists, using its wall for protection, you saw him immediately.

The mafia boss, sitting on the floor, with an empty expression.

Frowning, you checked if that was a trap and if there was someone around, but he seemed completely alone. Raising your voice, you announced your presence, and the first thing he saw was your well-equipped uniform.

- Hands up. Put them behind your head. - you said, with controlled calm.

Namjoon sighed, obeying slowly.

- I'm unarmed. You don't need to be alarmed.

- Get up and come over here. - you ordered, ignoring his words.

The mobster started to get up, but then he slid back down the wall. He tried a couple more times, until he gave up and lay motionless on the floor.

- Hurry up.

- I am unable. I think I broke my leg again. - he murmured, almost as if admitting it was a shame.

Suspicious, you didn't move forward initially. You checked the alley again, but no one was in sight. So, you decided to use a different strategy: you approached with the gun pointed at his head, after all, none of the henchmen would dare threaten the life of their leader (or at least that was what you hoped to be true).

- If you try anything "funny", I swear I'll kill you, okay? - you hissed, bending down in front of him.

The man's legs were stretched out in front of him, and the right was in an ugly position, proving that he was telling the truth. The bone must have torn the flesh, because a bloody wheel was beginning to form in his pants. It would be disgusting to anyone who was not used to brutality.

- How did you get hurt like that?

- Let's say that this specific bone is not the strongest. It is already the third incident that occurs with the poor thing. - he tried to laugh, perhaps to feel better about himself, but the pain prevented him.

You then took a deep breath. You couldn't leave the man bleeding there, even if he wasn't the best of people. It went against your values.

By slowly lowering the weapon (but keeping it within immediate reach), you began to roll up your uniform sleeves. The basic first aid classes you took when you joined the police would have to do.

- What will you do? - he asked, lost in hesitation and fear, as he noticed your approach.

- I will help you not to bleed a river. But it will really hurt, and it will be a really temporary solution. - you answered, seriously.

Without saying anything more, the man just fell silent, a thoughtful expression appearing on his face.

You put your hands firmly on his leg and, using the techniques you had learned, started to push. The pain was absurd, but he preferred to bite his lip until it bled rather than scream. Of course, being a fugitive from the police should be part of the motivation for not making too much noise.

The cracking of bones when they went back to place was hollow and dark, but at least the meat stopped being kept open. Taking a serious look at him, you noticed that the man was pale with pain, looking like he was about to pass out.

- Breathe in. The worst is over. - you replied, rummaging through your belt until you found the bandages you always carried along, in case of personal emergencies.

Carefully but firmly, you started to bandage his leg, just to stop the bleeding and keep the leg in place for as long as possible.

- Don't move too much, or you could make your situation even worse.

The man remained silent for a few minutes, just watching your serious expression and your nimble hands as you bandaged his leg. He wasn't sure about how to react, after all, that kind of situation was not quite what a mobster would expect from a police agent.

- Uh... why are you helping me?

You lifted your head, facing him directly.

- One of the most important parts of doing justice involves not letting anyone bleed to death. And even if your wound is not that deadly, I believe that waiting for a long time in a wet alley is not the most ideal healing scenario. - letting go and wiping your hands on the leftover gauze, you took your gun out of your belt and stood up - I'll give you the advantage of not immediately telling them where you are. But hope your henchmen find you fast.

He watched you walk away, going back cautiously to the exit of the alley.

- But... I... - unable to formulate a coherent sentence and not wanting to look like an idiot, Namjoon just gave up asking questions - I suppose that's what it means to be on the good side. Thank you anyway.

Surprisingly, you turned around one last time. The smile that shone on your face exposing all your teeth and lifting the corners of your mouth, giving you an air of extreme cleverness, took away the little breath that was left to Namjoon.

- Oh, but you don't need thank me now, because we will meet again. And next time, I'm not going to be that good. - clicking your tongue, you took a step towards the darkness - You better be well prepared.

So, you're gone, leaving him alone in the alley until the moment he would be found by the other gang members (which took a little longer than it should have).

Seokjin:

Shit!

That whole day was being terrible. First, Jin had started by clashing with members of a rival gang. Then the police arrived, shooting anyone they saw ahead. It was in the middle of so many fights that he ended up being shot in the palm of his hand, and his dominant hand!

Pressing his hand against his now-stained shirt chest, he continued walking through the seemingly empty industrial quarter, unsure of how to hold his revolver straight.

Everything should have been a simple negotiation, but things got off track too quickly.

His palm had already bled so badly that the entire front of his shirt was red. In addition, he could no longer move his fingers, which was a really bad signal. Containing a sob, he let a few tears roll down his face.

He was concerned with his own hand, but his biggest concern was if it would lose its usefulness forever. How would he be a hacker after that, without being able to type?

It was at that moment that you found him wandering alone and desperate. You had been looking for the fugitives in the more distant streets, to make sure they didn't get far. However, when you found the boy crying, a part of the adrenaline that dominated your mind dissipated. He barely held a gun, after all.

With patience, you announced your presence. When he saw you, he threw his head back in mourning, as if he were indignant at the heavens.

- I can't handle it right now! - he whimpered.

Rolling your eyes, you approached, your gun in hand.

- Don't worry, I won't shoot if you don't do anything stupid.

Eyes widening, he pulled his hand away from the body, in a strangled cry.

- How would I do it if there's a hole in my hand?!

Even a few feet away, the fact that it was possible to see through his hand was disturbing. The bullet had gone in and out, leaving a hole with color of blood, bones and nerves showing. Yes, the boy's despair was justified. You just kept calm because you've seen a lot of complicated situations like that before.

- You have to stop the bleeding!

- How am I going to do this with one hand?! - the silent tears continued to run down his face.

Sighing, you finally approached, scaring him by holding his hand.

- What is this?!

- A basic aid, considering that the nearest hospital is two kilometers from here. - you replied simply, taking improvised bandages from inside the jacket of your uniform.

There was not much to do about that hand other than to stop the bleeding. Avoiding looking at his blood-soaked shirt (which was not a pleasant sight at all), you began to wrap the wound with the fabric, covering the hole and tightening the bandage tightly.

He let out a sob of pain, but he didn't back down, knowing he needed to put up with it.

- Take good care of this wound.

He wiped his wet face with his healthy hand, sniffling.

- I don't even know if I'll have a hand after this! - the reaction would be comical if it weren't tragic. The panic in his voice was real.

So, you closed your expression, getting completely serious.

- You will take care of your hand and you will stop being pessimistic. It'll be there the next time we meet. - so, you gave a smile of certainty, small but absolute.

Then, moving away, you raised your weapon again, passing by him.

It took a few seconds for Seokjin to understand what you had said. The pain left him with slow thinking.

- Hey, next time?! - he exclaimed, turning in your direction.

Unfortunately, you were too far away to be stopped. He watched you leave for a much longer time than the expected.

Yoongi:

He was no longer able to walk, so he didn't force himself anymore. It didn't matter that he was inside the same building that the police were still in: he just couldn't get away anymore.

Limping painfully for a few more steps, he sat down in the narrow hall, resting his back against one of the walls. He and his two customers had been caught during the delivery of a shipment of heroin, and one of the damned customers had stabbed him to have time to escape. Literally.

With a small knife stuck in his thigh, Yoongi was actually slower than the others, easier to be captured. He was just lucky to be in the company of his most trusted friends, who came into conflict with the police just so he could run. He was worried about them now, of course, and he couldn't even repay their sacrifice and really escape. The pain was so much, and the blood on his clothes was so much, that his veins seemed to be filled with acid, which caused a burning sensation in his entire body.

Closing his mouth to try to hold his breath and feeling the sweat on his forehead, he leaned his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling for a few moments. The knife was still stuck in his leg and needed to be pulled out. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three. Then, lifting his trembling hands, he put them on the handle of the knife. That gesture alone was enough to make more cold sweat run down the back of his neck.

Then, as he prepared to pull the knife out, you appeared at the end of the hall. Wide-eyed, you observed the injured man and what he intended to do.

- Wait! Don't pull it! - you exclaimed, startling him.

I mean, Yoongi got scared, but the only thing he did was to turn his head slowly towards you, without really expressing fear.

You turned the other way, knowing that your colleagues were close. Specifically, a colleague who hated mobsters, and who would certainly have no mercy when shooting a man who was already injured. There was even a trail of drops of blood on the carpet, which went as far as the dealer was left.

- Why not? Sometime it will have to go. - he said, in a weak voice, with the tone of someone who no longer cared.

You slowly lowered your weapon when you realized that he was not carrying any gun. Then you looked at him again, snorting when you realized that you would need to act quickly.

Too many people had been hurt that day. You needed to fix the situation. Then, running up to him, you bent down in front of the man.

- You were stabbed in your thigh, that is full of important blood vessels. In addition, you are already bleeding too much. - you said, scolding him with some anger - If you pull the knife, it can make the situation worse and cause a much worse bleeding. Even though it hurts, the knife seems to be stopping the wound.

Too impressed by how straightforward you were, he just remained silent, nodding his head to signal that he would obey. In the distance, you heard your angered colleague's voice. Then you faced the mobster again, running your hands over his shoulders.

- I'm going to get you out of here and put you in a place where you're not in the immediate sight of a gun. But I can't do anything else. You will need hospital care.

Yoongi opened his eyes wide when you started to help him up, shocked by the situation as a whole.

- Why are you doing this? - he asked, his voice low and strangled with pain.

With effort, you managed to get him upright, but you were practically carrying his full weight.

- Because I think people should go through a fair trial, and not just get shot in the head like will happen if I leave you here. - striving to walk, you started down the corridor, towards the basement of the building - And make sure that your leg does not leave a trail of blood behind us, even if you have to tighten the fabric of your pants around the wound.

Again, he obeyed without protest, containing a cry of pain as he prevented the blood from dripping on the floor. He was shaking and sweaty, and the pain he was enduring must have been scary. Still, that was better than leaving him to die.

You followed as quickly as possible to the staircase, and each step was a sacrifice for Yoongi. The black mask you were wearing, part of the uniform, prevented him from seeing your face, but your eyebrows were frown at the smell of blood and the man in agony.

When you reached the basement, you hid the man behind a tall and heavy closet. The place was small, dusty and probably untouched for months. Still, you left him on the floor, sitting.

Stretching your aching back, you searched for the bad and cheap phone you used when you went to work, for emergencies. You turned it on and handed it over to the injured man, just before standing.

- Use this to call someone who can help you. It's the most I can do for you. - you said, as soon as he held the little electronic device.

Pale but with lively eyes, Yoongi took another deep breath to be able to speak through the pain.

- Thanks. - he said simply, closing his eyes when a flash of pain passed through his body. Then, he opened his eyes again - Isn't this phone tapped? It would be pretty easy to track me, then.

With a mysterious expression, you walked away. Even though you were wearing a mask, he could see the corners of your mouth going up to form a mysterious smile.

- You will have to find it out until the next time we meet. - you replied, taking your weapon from the belt just before leaving by the same staircase you had traveled before - Do not expect me to help you again.

Hoseok:

Hoseok was crying, something he hated to do. However, getting shot in the chest was not something that happened every day, and it was okay to cry in a situation like that.

With his hands pressed to the bleeding wound, he staggered down a deserted road in the hot dry night. The road was flanked by plantations, since it was located in the countryside, and the only noises there were that of the plants moving with the wind and that of the nocturnal animals.

He was afraid of those animals, after all, he smelled of blood. Still, nothing too dangerous should be there, as farmers would exterminate any creature. Even the "creature" himself, probably, if he appeared bleeding and wanted by the police in one of the houses far from the road.

He stumbled forward, needing to lean on one of the wooden fences. The pain in his chest was so strong that he had no idea where he was running to.

Suddenly, he felt the cold muzzle of a gun at the back of his head. As he bent over the fence, he stopped paying attention to the environment, and didn't notice when you approached silently.

- Hands up! - you hissed between teeth.

With a high-pitched cry, he remained in place.

- I'm using my hands to stop the bleeding from the shot your colleague gave me in the chest! - he exclaimed, his voice exuding real pain.

Swallowing hard, you wondered if it was true, and ordered him to turn around. When he did it, weak, the front of the shirt soaked in blood was proof enough.

The man's luck was that the shot had hit the right side of his chest and not the heart. The bullet was still lodged in his chest, but the bleeding was not aggressive enough to had hit an artery. That man was very, very lucky.

- Give me your gun. - you said, forcing the man to hand over his revolver. As soon as you made sure he was unarmed, you lowered your own weapon - Let me see.

By taking the man's hands away and looking more closely at the wound hole, you were sure that no very important veins had been hit. Then you started to take off the man's coat.

- Hey, what are you doing?! Isn't it enough that you invaded our place and killed 4 people?! - he exclaimed, irritated and scared.

Hearing those words was not pleasant, but they were true. So you didn't answer, just folding the jacket efficiently and wrapping it diagonally around his body, tying it tightly on his back.

- I'm helping you, you bastard.

Arching his eyebrows, he realized you were telling the truth.

- Why? - he asked, confused.

- Because nobody else is going to die today. I'll make sure of that. - you answered seriously - Now tighten the wound again. Prevent too much blood from being lost.

The man was already pale, but when he heard of blood, he became even more so. He swallowed hard, his face still wet with tears.

- Are you sure that I will not die?

You started to smile wryly, wanting to laugh at his crybaby face. However, as you watched his expression, you realized that his panic was real. You then changed your expression, smiling without showing your teeth but confidently.

- I am sure. We will meet in the future, because I will keep you alive. - you said, walking away - Now, run to the house after this plantation behind you and ask for help. I have to go back to the mission.

He wanted to say something else, but you were already walking away. The courage you gave him through your steady smile was enough.

He had the strength to run to the nearest house and ask for help.

Maknae line here.

The images used on this post are not mine, credits to the owners!

Kisses from the Goblin Kingdom! :)