Tumgik
#I am very sensitive right now
ilaliya · 1 month
Text
perhaps i am awake at 2 am, crying over pictures of adorable bunnies. what about it?
0 notes
alluralater · 3 months
Text
as a lesbian there is something beautiful about the simple act of draping my body over another. as if i am the curtain, and you the stage. protection and safety. my breasts to your back. this is soft space, soft place. warmth on cold nights. you are humming your satisfaction against your forearms laid overtop each other. the tip of my nose grazing the back of your neck, silently taking in the smell of your hair. you can feel and hear mine brushing across your shoulders, murmur of sound. “can i kiss you here?” it is a hollow question to some but to me it is sincere whisper. i know that i could, i know you are patiently awaiting the press of my petaled mouth to the spot just beside the corner of your jaw and below your ear— but i want to hear you say yes. i want to watch your tongue appear to wet your lips as you allow me to worship this place where your love lies, and gives itself to me. trust that i will care for you, keep you safe. all you must do is tell me that i can. i begin the slowly building rise. kissing the back of your shoulder gently, affording you the pleasure of feeling the fullness there. every inch of you should know me, intimately. relaxed sigh of yearning in your throat. it is one thing to nurture, to care. to attach ourselves in all ways, and always. is this love? you taste of every sweet indulgence i have left out of my mouth for the past twenty years, for i have feared the ways in which it could rot me from the inside outward. is this love? to look down at you, feel your skin against mine, your heat and your affection and your vulnerability freely given to me, this must be— “yes. kiss me there. everywhere.” love.
184 notes · View notes
thekittyokat · 5 months
Text
you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
182 notes · View notes
sheryl-lee · 2 years
Text
idk if this makes sense. but i kind of love that the last of us makes me cry and viscerally FEEL true emotions on a weekly basis. like i cant remember the last tv show i watched that had me consistently bawling my eyes out and so immersed in a show because of the characters, the story, the incredibly strong writing, etc. and it doesn't feel manipulative. it just feels profound and beautiful and poetic but also tragic and... human.
802 notes · View notes
ganondoodle · 6 months
Text
serious question, are there ANY (wired) headsets made today anymore that have seperated plugs for audio and microphone??
usb ones always cause trouble and the only other ones i can find are those with combined audio+mic into one plug, which i dont have the ports on my PC for.............
i tried looking through adapters but the only ones i can find are those that combine seperate ones, id need the reverse (if thats even possible)
(visualization bc i feel like i am losing my sanity trying to explain what i mean, am i stupid? did i halluzinate the two jack/plug thing???? do only cheap garbage ones have this??? is that one of the gaming chair things??? like oh you want a GAMING headset- that means either combined or usb haHA???)
Tumblr media
40 notes · View notes
teeth--king · 1 year
Text
I am fighting back on my nostalgia to buy one of the modern webkinz >:[ just learned that they're still being made but oof, they went the way of beanie boos. The lion is tempting me but he just doesn't have the charm of the og lion, where's the color? Where's the love?
You versus the guy she tells you not to worry about
Tumblr media Tumblr media
64 notes · View notes
boxwinebaddie · 1 month
Note
Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?
d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~
-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')
BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3
i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!
Tumblr media
okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!
as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )
tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.
PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.
i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…
please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.
it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.
all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.
HYH.
-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish
9 notes · View notes
jitteryjive · 2 months
Text
i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
7 notes · View notes
tj-crochets · 3 months
Text
No crafting update today, because I did a bunch of cleaning, ran some errands (had to mail some stuff and get a replacement headset for work because mine spontaneously separated into two pieces yesterday) and now I'm making chicken and dumplings for dinner So like, got a lot done, but absolutely none of it craft related and I'm really pushing my limits physical spoons-wise (in that my POTS is flaring up not in that I used all the actual spoons cooking lol) I have a really really cool art trade thing to show y'all but it has to wait until I can take photos, so that'll be later today or maybe tomorrow
10 notes · View notes
g0thsoojin · 2 months
Text
🦴
#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo#but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life#all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place#and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally#but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m#... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that#he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention#i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought#like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do#my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed#which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it#god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt#only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die#so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean#and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily#and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after#like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad#and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me#i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago#and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts#bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him#bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me#i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him#plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to
3 notes · View notes
sumquiasum · 6 days
Text
In honour of Tanz Hamburg closing, list of lines that enable my trans Sarah reading.
Sarah @ Alfred: "Du hast was ich gern hätt'"
Krolok @ Sarah: "Ich geb' dir, was dir fehlt"
Krolok @ Sarah: "Du wirst dich in mir erkennen"
2 notes · View notes
bambiraptorx · 1 year
Text
one of these days i'm gonna infodump massively about Draxum's teaching style and how it's going to interact with the learning styles of the individual turtles. one of these days
50 notes · View notes
pandaspwnz · 1 month
Text
Took another covid test and it's STILL negative which is surprising because I feel like absolute shit
2 notes · View notes
seraphonfire · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
i should probably get that checked
12 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 2 months
Text
was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
3 notes · View notes
sensitivedead · 3 months
Text
.
#shutup sensitive#i know its the case#but i wonder in moments like this#do other people feel like me#i feel like a shell of a person like the body of a person but not the being#and the being i am is like vehemently unlikeable or says things that other beings can’t understand but its like i look like them i act like#them so why dont they understand me#i feel like i understand me very well and i understand others even better than i do myself but why doesnt anyone understand me#ive been in mania for a few days and i recognize it but it really is the worst i cant even reveal in it i dont like this#my desires are so strong right now but are they actually mine or just this other addition of my selves#and if i think long on my desires rn theyre not even real but theyre so strong lol theyre so stupid though why do i need to do something#irrational why cant i just be satisfied per usual#how do i fix it how do i fix it#(time fixes it this ive learned but time is also not a friend of mine)#(i feel like time likes to toy with me and makes broken promises to me that take forever to arrive and im expecting them to not be broken so#i wait and i wait but the time just drags out and then when change arrives its like haha NOT what you wanted! i hate time)#i want to hold the hands of all the hysterical folk in my bloodline i want all the loonies to haunt me and keep me company bc i know what#they felt and i feel for them not having the knowledge and explanations for their feelings like i have and i mourn for them#thanks for passing down the brain worms to me my beloved ancestors im glad i function like you and like nobody else#anyways im pretty sure i need a phat hug#big phat arms wrapped around me and someone to pet my head#so when i get home this is what i will receive but its hours from now#and me and that old time demon :)
3 notes · View notes