#I am trying to be positive about everything.
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tbaluver · 3 days ago
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HEYYYYYY
I reeeeaaalllyyyy love your father/husband headcannons and I’ve been pondering about how the lad boys would treat mc if she was pregnant?
Hope you have time to do it, but it’s completely fine if you don’t want to!!! <3
I love your work and your kindness! Keep up the amazing work and happy new years!!
How They Treat You When You're Pregnant- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre/ tags: fluff fluff a/n: HIHI again my angel !! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ this req reminds me of my first headcanon i ever did for this fandom and i feel like this one is a more accurate one (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) i am always grateful to hear you guys love my work thank you so much luv MWAH ILY !! it always motivates me to write and create more for you all and i hope you're having a happy new years so far !! hopefully i did this req justice lmk what you think !! ahh i hope we get to chat again and i hope you enjoy reading luv (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier:
Pregnancy can make sleeping uncomfortable for you and whenever you’re feeling restless, he’s always right there by your side. Whether it’s waking up to comfort you, watching your favorite show together to help you unwind, or adjusting pillows to help you find a comfortable position for you, he’s happy to help. He’ll patiently wait until you’re sleeping peacefully first before he settles back right beside you.
He also doesn’t let you put on an scary movies or shows because you might scare the baby
His face would light up when he hears you want to try one of his favorite weird snack combos. Highlight the word, snacks, because you’re definitely not letting him cook near the microwave or stove.
Xavier is even more protective of you than before, if that’s even possible. Whenever someone gives you a lingering glance in the baby aisle, he’s keeping you close, his arm securely around your waist while giving that person a glance back. When you’re out in public, he doesn’t let anyone get close to your belly bump. Before they can even reach out, he’s already stopping their hand and gently guiding you away.
Xavier attends every doctor’s appointment with you. However,  he does NOT like the idea of going to the OBGYN especially if it were a male doctor. You two would be out of the room immediately. However, if you're uncomfortable with any of the doctors in general, he’ll gladly switch and find a better one for you without a second thought. 
He’s constantly seeking out new information on pregnancy and babies he can find and has probably read every single online article. He does all of this because he’s determined to learn everything he can to care for you and your future child.
If it were even possible, Xavier would be even gentler with you. He talks softly to your belly, his hands resting gently on your hips as he presses his ear against your stomach, listening and waiting for any movements of your future child. As long as you’re comfortable, he’ll lay down between your legs, his face against your belly while you run your fingers through his soft hair. He’ll mostly fall asleep in this position
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Zayne:
Zayne would already notice the subtle signs that you were pregnant before you even realized. He’d pick up the sudden fatigue you’ve been feeling or the way you’ve been extra sensitive to smells. He’s already by your side, holding your hair back as you kneel by the toilet, vomiting. He’ll guide you back to bed, making sure you stay sitting up while he grabs you a couple crackers and a cup of tea.
Zayne is truly an organized and prepared man. He keeps track of everything, noting it down on both his and your phone so that you both have access to all the important details and reminders. He has every date for your checkups, ultrasounds, and any other appointments that are related to both your health and the baby’s. He even makes sure to keep track of which foods are safe for you and which ones to avoid. He’ll keep all the important documents in a file and even keep pictures of the ultrasounds on his desk. Zayne would also have a bag prepared months before your water breaks.
He would let you indulge in anything you crave, as long as it’s safe for you and the baby. He goes the extra mile to prepare you each meal with care and love, making sure that every dish nourishes you and supports the health of your future child. Zayne would have to gently discourage you to not eat dirt covered rocks if you were thinking of craving them. He would also ask his mother some tips when she was pregnant with him. 
A surgeon's hands are trained to be precise and steady which makes him the perfect person to give you a massage. With practice care and skill, he’s able to help you release the tension in your muscles, easing every knot and carefully tending to each sore spot. He would not mind if you sat on his lap and guided his hands to your aching breasts or any sore muscle. He'll happily knead and massage them.
You would always know his schedule, so you’re aware when he has to work late. To make sure you’re taken care of when he’s working, he’d stock up on your favorite snacks and meals, making sure to place them within places you can easily reach. Throughout his shift, he’d check in on you during his breaks, texting to ask if you’ve eaten and drank enough water. He’d also make sure to call you during his lunch break just to make sure you’re doing okay and also because he misses you.
Mood swings are a nightmare and not once have they ever bothered him. Zayne is one of the best listeners to any of your worries and also in general. He understands your fears, concerns, and even the times when you overreact. He’s always there to offer you constant reassurance and to take down any fear you had. He would never belittle your emotions and always prioritizes you with unwavering support.
Unfortunately there are nights when he has to come home late, already finding you peacefully asleep in your shared bed. He can’t help but let out a quiet sigh, a soft smile displayed on his face. Quietly, he approaches your sleeping figure, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and then to your lips. His hands delicately trace the curve of your rounded belly before pressing a gentle kiss to it, whispering, “Good job, you didn’t wake up mommy.”
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Rafayel:
The studio would ACTUALLY be clean. You’re not really sure if he stopped being lazy or if he hired someone, probably Thomas, to take care of it for him. The floor would be clear of scattered art materials, dried up paint, and the desks would actually be organized. All so you don’t accidentally step or slip on anything or have anything poking or rolling onto your belly when you sit by his desk.
Rafayel is prepared when it comes to baby names. He actually keeps an organized list in his notes app, with his favorites marked by an emoji so he can easily find them. Each name on the list has its own meaning and references. The two of you would cuddle up in bed, sharing new name ideas and laughing at the ones you can’t pronounce, making sure to cross off the ones that didn’t make the cut.
Mood swings were completely new to Rafayel and to you but he quickly learned to keep up with them. He understands that these emotions aren’t easy for you, so he’s always there, even when you need space. He’s always ready to listen and offer support through every high and low and will be there to lift your spirits up whenever you need him.
Sometimes insecurities can weigh on you and you might feel like hiding your baby bump especially when it feels like the maternal clothing isn’t quite your style. But Rafayel is always there and never fails to remind you just how beautiful you are. He’ll go above and beyond to find the perfect maternity clothes that match your taste.
Rafayel would want to document everything so you both have memories to look back on. He’ll take countless pictures of your growing belly each month, capturing the progress so you can look back on how much has changed. He’ll even create his own little maternity photoshoot for you because no other photographer can capture your beauty like him.
Rafayel loves gently caressing your baby bump, often talking to it, hoping that they can hear him. He’ll throw out random names, saying things like, “give me one soft kick if you dun like this name, two kicks if you realllly love it!” and if there was a quiet moment, he’ll say “it’s okay maybe baby glubs is just sleeping.” So he’ll just hum to you and your belly a Lemurian lullaby so you can all drift off into a peaceful slumber.
One of his favorite things to do is preparing a relaxing bath for you. He fills the tub with warm water and adds calming scents, making sure they’re not overpowering, and a few bubbles to help you unwind and soothe any aches or tensions. As he gently washes your body, his hand gently glides over your growing belly, washing away the soap as he imagines the three of you one day swimming together in the ocean as a family.
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Sylus:
Every time you wake up or whenever he walks through the door after a long day, he greets you with the sweetest affection. First, a gentle kiss on your forehead, then a soft on your lips, accompanied by a “Hello sweetie,” His eyes then soften as he looks down, his hands gently caressing your baby bump, “and hello our little dove.”
You can always expect pampering from Sylus. He’s right by your side with endless shoulder, back and leg rubs. He can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must feel growing a little one inside of you and how much it takes out, so he’s determined to ease any discomfort in every way possible. He’s learned how pregnancy can change your sense, so he’s careful to use any lotions or oils with certain scents, avoiding anything that could make you feel nauseous or unsettled.
Whenever you have trouble sleeping, he’s there to gently prop up some pillows to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. He’ll go through his vinyl collection, picking out your favorite or ones that will help you unwind and relax.
He loves you deeply and he knows you’re capable of being independent but he does not want you lifting a finger once your baby bump starts to grow. Even in your early stages of pregnancy, he gently encourages you to take it easy, reminding you that you don’t need to push yourself. With the doctor’s advice to rest often, he’s got all the reasons he needs to insist that you relax. Not a single in the house will be washed by your hands and no clothing will be folded by you. He wants you to relax as much as possible and focus on yourself and your little one.
It’s not hard to wake up Sylus. In fact, he’s already awake before you slip out of his arms to satisfy your late night cravings. Quietly, he trails behind you, wrapping his arms around you. His large hands rest on your tummy as he presses a soft kiss to the back of your head, his warm chest gently against your back. He already memorizes your cravings at this point unless it was something new, so he guides you to the chair by the kitchen counter. “What are you hungry for, sweetie?”
In your early stages of pregnancy, shopping for your baby was fun and something you both enjoyed planning together. But by the time you reached your third trimester, the long walks were beginning to wear you out. So he suggested online shopping together. He didn’t want you to feel left out and he loved seeing your face light up when you found something adorable for the baby, even if it was another plushie to add to the collection. The two of you would settle in on the bed or the couch, face masks on , hair tied back, happily chatting and laughing about the cutest finds and everything the baby needed.
Every doctor’s appointment, he’s right by your side. He’ll hold your hand the entire time, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles. He knows how nerve-wracking these visits can be, especially the anticipation of any results. But just having him there by your side brings your comfort and reminds you that you're never facing it alone.
In general and throughout your pregnancy, he’s always been someone you can lean on. With all the emotions and changes in your body, he’s there to listen and offer comfort. He becomes your safe space where you can express yourself openly with no hesitation.
He can’t deny that he secretly loves being called a to-be- dad’ by Luke and Kieran. There’s a smile that never seems to leave his face, knowing that he will be the father of your child and to experience a new form of love together as a family.
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zeropro · 2 days ago
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Hi, what are your thoughts on Megatron? Most Starscream fans don't have very positive ones about him lol, but everyone is different and I would like to know that you think
I like Megatron okay, he doesnt bother me but im not like jumping up and down for megatron content yknow? but I get not liking Megatron as a Starscream fan. It's just, you can't deny how intrinsically the two characters are tied together. Really can't have Starscream without Megatron, which is unfortunate for someone like me who does not like drawing Megatron lol!
Maybe the reason most Starscream fans dont like Megatron is because of their abusive relationship? And let's be clear, due to the power imbalance, I do interpret it as an abusive relationship. Despite how much we like to joke that Starscream deserves the punishment he gets (I'm not entirely sure how attempted murder/political assassination attempts factor into an abuse allegory) no one ACTUALLY deserves to be abused. The fact that Starscream is low key also evil and has done evil things is a separate issue from Megatron's abuse of him, we can hold him accountable for the one while also having sympathy because of the other. For me personally tho? Megatron abusing Starscream doesnt make me dislike the character at all, it's honestly the main draw of the dynamic for me. Maybe I just like to see my blorbos suffer…
The G1 Cartoon Megatron is probably the most fun, and I think this dynamic is the most on the level in terms of Starscream dishing back as much as Megatron gives him. They're all just bullies on the playground, their toxic back and forths feel a lot more slap stick and silly than actual abuse. What makes it work I think is that Megatron is not as crazy powerful as he is in later continuities, and Starscream responds to the abuse like a cartoon villain, immediately bouncing back and plotting his revenge, so it's funny rather than upsetting! I also find it hilarious how Megatron is weirdly nice to all the other Decepticons who aren't Starscream lmao? G1 Cartoon Megatron is a 10/10 for me.
If G1 cartoon's Megatron and Starscream are more on an even playing field, Prime Megatron is like the opposite of that. Prime Megatron is so impossibly powerful it almost feels like no one has a chance against him in a fight, and Prime Starscream is so scrunkly and small it's almost laughable. I think I feel the most pity for Prime Starscream when he gets beat up by Megatron, but he almost always makes up for it by being possibly the most evil of the Starscreams. I like how in the third season, he genuinely seems happy to finally dedicate himself fully to Megatron, but you just know how much he'd been beaten down and broken over and over again to even get to that point. Good for him for trying to get revenge in the sequel series. As for Megatron himself, I think more often than not when I am reading fics I see Prime Megatron in my head, and it's his voice I hear. What can I say, it was the first Transformers show I watched haha. Do I love how his redemption arc was handled? Not particularly, it sorta came out of nowhere, felt really rushed, and he just goes away anyway so we don't even get anything out of it. I like redemption arcs in general, but I don't necessarily think this particular Megatron needed one.
To be perfectly honest, I didn't think the 2005 IDW Megatron deserved one either, only because when it comes to over powered, unstoppable, irredeemably evil Megatrons, this one ranked right up there if we take into consideration everything he did before Dark Cybertron. His redemption does kinda come out of nowhere. But like, idk mang! It's also really fun? Like, Bumblebee carrying him around cuz his pants got blown off is hilarious! Him actually upset at Bumblebee's death and then taking Bumblebee's Autobot badge and putting it on over his own was sweet! Him dealing with the crazy crew of the Lost Light is a lot of fun! And him actually having to confronting and deal with what he's done (and other characters dealing with him dealing with it) is a lot more interesting than just him dying. idk. The comics have been around for years by that point, and passed through the hands of many writers, so if a little handwaving and a little contrivance and a little suspension of disbelief is what is required for us to have an honestly pretty fun take on Megatron, I think I'm okay with that.
I do have one complaint tho, mostly based on content I haven't read yet so take it with a grain of salt. I have been told that the adjacent series to the Lost Light Megatron stuff covers Starscream's side of the story and that it does actually address his abuse at the hands of Megatron. My problem is that apparently (and again I haven't read that far yet so this is just hearsay, but apparently) the writers on the Lost Light Megatron stuff didn't get the memo so while Megatron feels bad for and is working at redemption for all the evil war stuff he did to everyone, the one thing he doesnt regret is apparently his treatment of Starscream? Haha, like come on! on the one hand it's really disappointing to me because id like the catharsis of Megatron’s remorse, but...on the other hand, I guess it's kinda true to life actually. Your abusers are people, and they can change and grow and become better, but it doesnt mean they will ever become better for you. It doesnt mean they will ever apologize or even feel bad for what they did. Maybe theres something to be said about having to move on and heal without that. I guess whether this is a complaint I maintain will depend on how its handled.
I get that some people don't think Megatron should ever get a redemption arch, because he's an abuser, a monster, a tyrant, and an evil warlord, and it's completely fair for your stance to be that he should just be killed and that would be justice. I personally really like continuities that treat him more like just some guy. I think Starscream put it best in 2005 IDW during Megatron's trial when he said Megatron wasn't some political genius or the most gifted strategist. He wasn't even the most evil man. In IDW, Megatron started out as a social advocate from the lower class, and despite the problematic narrative of "the bad guy had a point and just did advocacy wrong/went too far," I think the idea that Megatron kinda got swept up by his own hype and was used by people and powers more devious than he is a compelling one.
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Starscream is Starscream, so who knows how much of what he says is true and how much is him lying, but this idea just rings true to me. It humanizes him. If handled well, I'm honestly not opposed to stories redeeming Megatron. I'm also not opposed to stories treating him like the devil and just killing him lol. I love a character that can do both!
Uh uh, what else. Earthspark Megatron is nice, I like him. There's...a bit of cognitive dissonance in trying to reconcile the things he chastises Optimus Prime for and the idea that he still was a ruthless warlord at one point, both of which continue to be left unexplored. Transformers One Megatron is neat, I was worried going in how they would handle the switch from Orion Pax's brother to lets start a 4-6 million year war, but like, I like the way he actually was super okay with accepting his lot in life. Like obviously he didnt like it but he didnt see a point in fighting it, and that adamant complacency as a coping mechanism is what lead to his feelings of rage and betrayal by the end. Also I think its hilarious how much younger he is from all the other Decepticon high command, especially Starscream XD.
I don't think I've read or watched anything else with Megatron in it. Man, I wrote a lot. At the end of the day, Megatron is a good character, I like the role he plays in Transformers, I'm not like actually that interested in him on his own but more what he brings to the table when considering Starscream's character. You can't have one without the other! Do I ship them? No, not really, no more than any other ship. But I'll still read Megastar stuff cuz sometimes you just want to watch two people be toxic and make it hurt so good. I'll always prefer Trine stuff anyway ha! Have fun out there!
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maybenotjaybe · 18 hours ago
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MEETING KISS
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PAIRING : ekko x reader
SUMMARY : ekko is in a meeting with the firelights and reader stops by to make sure that he doesnt stay out too late
REQUESTED : @violet2swaggy
CW & TW : fluff, gender neutral reader, pet names used (babe, honey, etc), hand holding, kisses on the cheek, slight teasing (from scar)
A / N : im sorry if this is short, my brain is not working right now because of midterms 😞 requests are open !
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the meeting was in full speed, everyone concentrated while ekko was stood in front of a wide table that was filled with members of the firelights.
ekko was directing the protocols for their work, pointing at writings on the chalkboard with a small piece of white chalk in his hand. he was calm and collected, but the members of the firelights can tell he was also determined for these upcoming events to go well.
“alright so, instead of having us go through with our earlier plan, what if-“ a knock on the conference room door has cut off his question, his head turning towards the sound to see your head poked through the door.
you stared at ekko for a moment, realizing that he was in a busy position as you glanced over at the firelights sat around a table. “am i interrupting?” you mumbled to ekko quietly, feeling slightly guilty at the fact that you interfered his meeting.
ekko’s face softened slightly at the sight of you, a small smile plastering on his face as he glanced between the firelights sat around the table and you. “uh, no you’re not.” he said to you, knowing damn well he was in an important meeting at the moment. he placed the piece of chalk down on one of the stands before taking a few steps closer to you, his face stretched in slight worry. “is everything alright babe?”
you shook your head, entering the room slowly and slowly making your way towards him. “oh everythings great, i just wanted to pop by and check out what was happening.” you spoke, your voice quiet so the others around you couldn’t listen in.
ekko let out a small sigh, nodding at your words while he stood close to you. “okay,” he mumbled to you quietly, his hand going over to hold yours gently, not caring if anyone else saw. “i’m guessing you’re going back home now?” he asked quietly, rubbing his thumb against the knuckles of your hand.
you felt his hand in yours, gently squeezing it as you nodded, your gaze flickering between each of his eyes. you had always found him and his eyes mesmerizing to stare at, it’s like you were sucked in and you didn’t wanna leave. “yeah just,” you paused, thinking for a moment before you opened your mouth to speak. “just don’t stay out here too late, okay?” you mumbled to ekko quietly, worry hitched into your voice.
ekko then nodded at your words, squeezing your hand back as he gazed into your eyes. “i will, don’t worry y/n.” he told you softly, still rubbing his thumb on your knuckles.
you smiled softly at his answer, nodding your head once. you reluctantly let go of his hand, leaning closer and placing your lips on his cheek. “okay..” you mumbled him while you pulled away, grinning at him before taking a few steps away. “bye honey.” you said, turning around and making your way towards the door, exiting the meeting room.
ekkos eyes widened for a moment at your action, feeling the softness of your lips on his cheek. he tried to let his hand linger on yours for a moment, but then hesitantly letting you go as he watched you leave. he couldn’t help but smile, completely forgetting about the meeting he was in until he heard a small chuckle.
he whipped his head to the sound, hiding his smile as his noticed scar trying to hide his laughter. ekko let out a small sigh, walking back towards the chalkboard as he spoke. “give it up guys.” he grumbled, picking up the piece of chalk and starting back where he left off.
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kiesbrainjuice · 2 days ago
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Hi!! Could I ask for something with Post-Timeskip atsumu miya with a reader who also plays professional volleyball. And like a setter x hitter dynamic.
Thank you! <33
-GIRLFRIEND IN TRAINING ! timeskip!atsumu
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➥ pr : timeskip!atsumu x fem!reader
➥ syn : what about Atsumu and a spiker reader ? Setter x hitter dynamic :)
➥ wc : 4.5k
➥ tw : kisses, cuddles and pure fluff. Atsumu is a prover and slightly but soooo slightly a perv…
➥ a/n : thanks for this request!! so good idea ! hope u like it :) (and sorry for the delay) I drifted a bit and it turned out to be long lmaaoooo but I like it.
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The afternoon sun streamed through the high windows of the training facility, casting long shadows across the polished court floor. You wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead, adjusting your practice outfit - the white Lululemon set Atsumu had given you for your anniversary last month. Three years together, and somehow every day felt as exciting as the first.
"One more!" you called out, bouncing the volleyball against the floor. Your legs were starting to feel the burn after an hour of practice, but you couldn't help wanting just one more perfect set from your boyfriend.
Atsumu caught the ball with practiced ease, a playful smirk crossing his features. "Tired already? And here I thought dating a national team spiker would give me more of a challenge." He flexed dramatically, making you roll your eyes even as you fought back a smile.
"Just set the ball, you dork," you laughed, getting into position for your approach. After countless hours of practice together - both with your respective teams and during these private sessions - you could read each other's movements like a well-worn book.
The ball left his fingers in a perfect arc, and you could already tell it would be exactly where you wanted it. That was Atsumu's gift - not just his technical skill, but his ability to bring out the absolute best in his spikers. Your feet left the ground as you reached the apex of your jump, arm cocked back.
The satisfying smack of your palm meeting the ball echoed through the gym, followed by the sharp crack of it hitting the court just inside the line. Perfect placement.
"Show off," Atsumu teased, though his eyes were bright with pride. "Though I guess I can't complain when my girlfriend's the best spiker in the women's division."
You wiped your face with a towel, trying to hide your blush. "The set was a little low," you commented with faux criticism, knowing it would rile him up.
As expected, Atsumu's jaw dropped in exaggerated offense. "Low? That was a perfect set and you know it!" He crossed the court in a few quick strides, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind despite your halfhearted struggles to escape.
"Maybe if you weren't so busy flexing and actually focused on setting..." you continued teasing, turning in his embrace to face him.
"Oh? So you weren't sneaking glances at these guns?" He flexed again, making you laugh and push at his chest.
"You're impossible," you declared, though you couldn't keep the fondness from your voice. This was your favorite part of dating Atsumu - the way you could seamlessly blend your shared passion for volleyball with moments of pure playfulness.
The late afternoon light painted everything in warm golden tones, reminding you of how many hours had passed. "We should probably wrap up," you suggested reluctantly. "Don't you have team practice early tomorrow?"
Atsumu groaned, burying his face in your neck. "Don't remind me. Coach Foster's been brutal with conditioning lately. Says we need to be in top form for the upcoming tournament."
You ran your fingers through his damp hair sympathetically. "Poor baby. Though I seem to remember someone bragging about being the best setter in the V.League just yesterday..."
"I am the best setter in the V.League," he declared without a hint of modesty, making you snort. "And you love it."
You couldn't argue with that. For all his showboating and occasional arrogance, Atsumu backed it up with genuine skill and an unmatched work ethic. It was one of the things that had first drawn you to him - the way he poured his whole heart into everything he did, whether it was perfecting a new set or loving you.
"Come on," you said, extracting yourself from his embrace. "Help me clean up and then we can grab dinner? I'm thinking ramen."
"Only if you admit that set was perfect," he bargained, already moving to help collect the scattered volleyballs.
You pretended to think about it as you began breaking down the net. "Hmm... it was adequate."
"Adequate?!" His indignant squawk echoed through the gym, making you laugh. Some things never changed - and you wouldn't have it any other way.
As you worked together to restore the gym to order, you couldn't help but marvel at how naturally you'd fallen into this rhythm together. From national team commitments to stolen moments of practice like this, you'd built something special - a partnership that worked both on and off the court.
"Fine," you conceded as you zipped up your gym bag, unable to resist his puppy dog eyes any longer. "It was a perfect set. Happy now?"
His answering smile was brighter than the setting sun. "Almost," he said, pulling you in for a quick kiss. "Now I'm happy."
You shook your head fondly as you headed for the door together, his arm draped comfortably around your shoulders. Another perfect evening in a long string of them, filled with the two things you loved most - volleyball and Atsumu.
As you walked to your favorite ramen shop, you couldn't help but think how lucky you were to have found someone who understood both your competitive drive and your playful side. Someone who could challenge you to be better while loving you exactly as you were.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Atsumu asked, noticing your thoughtful expression.
You smiled, leaning into his side. "Just how much I love you, you big volleyball nerd."
"Look who's calling who a volleyball nerd," he laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple. "But I love you too."
The small ramen shop was bustling with evening customers, but the owner's face lit up with recognition as you and Atsumu ducked under the noren curtains. Being regulars had its perks - your favorite corner booth was mysteriously always available, tucked away from prying eyes that might recognize either of you from sports magazines or national team coverage.
"Ah, my favorite volleyball couple!" the elderly owner called out warmly. "The usual?"
"Actually," Atsumu interrupted before you could answer, "can we get the special tonight? Y'know, the one with the extra chashu?" He turned to you with that soft smile he seemed to reserve just for you. "You mentioned being hungry after practice."
You felt your heart flutter. After three years, he still noticed every little detail about you. "Always taking care of me, aren't you?"
"Someone has to make sure Japan's best spiker stays well-fed," he replied with a wink, pulling out your chair before settling across from you. His foot immediately found yours under the table, initiating your usual game of footsie.
"I thought Bokuto was Japan's best spiker?" you teased, knowing exactly how to push his buttons. As expected, Atsumu's face scrunched up in mock offense.
"Yer really gonna bring up another man on our date?" He clutched his chest dramatically. "After I set you all those perfect balls today?"
"Oh? They were perfect now? Because I distinctly remember someone getting very defensive when I suggested one was a little low..." You couldn't help but laugh at his increasingly exaggerated expressions of betrayal.
"Mean," he pouted, though his eyes sparkled with amusement. "Here I am, being the most attentive boyfriend in all of Japan-"
"All of Japan, huh?"
"The world!" he declared, making nearby diners glance over at his enthusiasm. He lowered his voice, leaning across the table conspiratorially. "Name one other setter who'd stay late just to practice with their girlfriend."
"Kageyama?" you suggested innocently.
Atsumu nearly choked on his water. "That's it, I'm breaking up with you," he announced, though his attempt at a serious expression was ruined by the way he couldn't stop staring at you adoringly. "As soon as we finish this ramen. And dessert. And maybe after I walk you home. And kiss you goodnight..."
"So tomorrow then?"
"Tomorrow's no good, we have that couple's practice session planned," he mused thoughtfully. "Maybe next week?"
Your laughter was interrupted by the arrival of your ramen, the steam rising enticingly from the rich broth. Atsumu immediately began arranging your bowl, making sure all your favorite toppings were easily accessible - just one of the countless little ways he showed his love.
"Here," he said, picking up a particularly perfect slice of chashu with his chopsticks and holding it out to you. "Say 'ahh'."
You rolled your eyes but complied, letting him feed you. "You're ridiculous."
"Ridiculously in love with you," he countered without missing a beat, preening when your cheeks flushed pink.
"That was terrible," you groaned, but you were already picking up a perfectly boiled egg to offer him in return. His triumphant grin as he accepted it made your heart skip.
The conversation flowed easily as you ate, discussing everything from upcoming matches to the latest team gossip. Atsumu's hand found yours across the table between bites, his thumb absently tracing patterns on your skin.
"Oh! Did I tell ya about what Bokuto did at practice yesterday?" His eyes lit up with mischief as he launched into an animated story about his teammate's latest antics, complete with impressions that had you clutching your sides with laughter.
"Stop, stop," you gasped, wiping tears from your eyes. "I'm going to get broth up my nose!"
"But you love my Bokkun impression," he preened, before his expression softened into something more serious. "I love making you laugh like that."
The sudden sincerity in his voice made your heart stutter. That was another thing about Atsumu - for all his playful bravado, he had moments of such genuine sweetness that it took your breath away.
"I love you," you said simply, because sometimes the straightforward truth was best.
His whole face lit up, like it did every time you said those words. "Yeah?" He brought your joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Good thing, 'cause I'm pretty crazy about you too."
The owner appeared then with two small cups of green tea ice cream - on the house, he insisted, though you strongly suspected Atsumu had arranged it beforehand. Your boyfriend's pleased expression when you discovered the heart drawn in matcha powder on top confirmed your suspicions.
"You're such a sap," you told him fondly.
"Only for you," he agreed shamelessly, offering you the first bite of his ice cream. "Besides, I gotta make sure I stay your favorite setter. Can't have you running off with Kageyama after all."
You kicked him lightly under the table. "As if anyone could compare to my perfectly adequate setter."
"Oi!" His indignant response was cut short by your leaning across the table to kiss him, tasting sweet green tea on his lips.
When you pulled back, his expression was dazed and happy. "Okay, maybe I can forgive the 'adequate' comment. This time."
The evening wrapped up too quickly, as it always did when you were together. Atsumu insisted on paying - "My treat for my favorite spiker" - and tucked you under his arm as you stepped out into the cool night air.
"Practice again tomorrow?" he asked hopefully, as if you didn't already have it planned.
"Wouldn't miss it," you assured him, rising on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Someone has to keep your setting skills sharp."
His answering laugh was warm and full of affection. "Lucky me."
As you walked home hand in hand, you couldn't help but think that you were the lucky one. For all his dramatics and playful arrogance, Atsumu loved with his whole heart - whether it was volleyball or you.
The luxurious bathroom in your shared apartment steamed up as the shower ran hot, fog creeping across the large mirror. You'd both grown accustomed to the little dance of sharing the spacious bathroom during your nighttime routine, moving around each other with practiced ease.
"Babe, can you pass me my face wash?" you called out, holding your hand out of the shower. Atsumu's warm chuckle preceded the bottle being placed in your palm.
"The fancy one with the little gold flecks?" he confirmed, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "The one you insisted was worth half my week's grocery budget?"
"Says the man who spends a fortune on volleyball shoes," you shot back, working the cleanser into a lather. The familiar scent of jasmine filled the steamy air.
"Hey, those are professional expenses!" He was at the sink now, carefully applying shaving cream to the light stubble that had appeared over the past couple days. "Though I guess keeping your skin this soft could count as a professional expense too, considering how many sports magazine shoots you do these days."
You peeked around the shower door to stick your tongue out at him, catching him mid-stroke with his razor. His hair was cutely mussed from running his hands through it, and a bit of shaving cream had somehow ended up on his ear.
"You missed a spot," you informed him helpfully, gesturing to your own ear.
"What? Where?" He turned his head back and forth, examining his reflection in the slightly foggy mirror. "I don't see- hey!" He finally caught your grin in the reflection. "Yer just trying to distract me."
"Is it working?"
"Always," he admitted with a fond shake of his head, carefully finishing up his shaving. "Though I still don't understand how you can support Brazil in tomorrow's match. America's got some amazing servers this season."
You shut off the shower, reaching for your fluffy towel. "Spoken like someone who's never seen Bruno set in person. His technique is absolutely beautiful."
"Oi!" Atsumu spun around, razor forgotten. "Are you saying his sets are better than mine?"
You wrapped the towel around yourself, stepping out to press a kiss to his pouty lips. "Of course not, baby. Your sets are perfectly adequate, remember?"
He groaned, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. "You're never gonna let that go, are you?"
"Nope!" You wiggled away from him, moving to your extensive skincare collection arranged neatly on the marble counter. "Now, speaking of beautiful things..." You pulled out two sheet masks with a flourish.
Atsumu's eyes widened in horror. "Oh no. No, no, no. Last time you put one of those on me, I looked like a swamp monster!"
"But your skin was so glowy afterward," you wheedled, already opening one of the packages. "Come on, it's green tea and cucumber. Very manly ingredients!"
"There is nothing manly about looking like Shrek," he protested, but you could see him wavering. Three years together had taught you exactly how to wear him down - a slight pout, wide eyes, and...
"Please? For me?" You batted your eyelashes exaggeratedly. "I'll let you pick what we watch while we wait for them to work their magic."
He heaved a dramatic sigh, but you could see the smile tugging at his lips. "The things I do for love. Fine, but if Bokuto somehow finds out about this..."
"Your secret beauty routine is safe with me," you promised solemnly, reaching up to smooth the cool mask over his freshly-shaved skin. He scrunched his nose at the sensation but held obligingly still.
"I look ridiculous," he complained, catching sight of himself in the mirror.
"You look adorable," you corrected, carefully applying your own mask before starting on the rest of your routine. Atsumu watched with fascination as you methodically applied various serums and creams.
"How do you remember what order to put all that stuff in?" he wondered, absently reaching for one of the bottles before you swatted his hand away.
"Years of practice. Also, I labeled them with numbers," you admitted, showing him the tiny numbers you'd written on the bottom of each container. His laugh echoed off the bathroom tiles.
"That's my organized girl," he said fondly, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and hooking his chin over your shoulder. "Though I think you're beautiful without all this stuff too."
You met his eyes in the mirror, both of you looking absolutely ridiculous with your green masks, and felt your heart swell with affection. "Smooth talker."
"Only stating facts," he insisted, pressing a masked kiss to your shoulder that made you giggle.
Twenty minutes later, after finishing your routines and disposing of the masks ("See? Glowy!" "If you say so, baby."), you padded into the bedroom. While Atsumu brushed his teeth, you rifled through his side of the closet, pulling out one of his Black Jackals jerseys.
"Stealing my clothes again?" he called out, voice muffled around his toothbrush.
"It's not stealing if I live here," you reasoned, pulling the oversized jersey over your head. The familiar number 13 stretched across your back, and even though you'd been sleeping next to him for years now, something about wearing his jersey still made you feel specially connected to him.
"Besides," you added as he emerged from the bathroom, "you love seeing me in your jersey."
His eyes darkened appreciatively as he took in the sight of you perched on the edge of the king-sized bed, his name and number displayed across your back. "Can't argue with that."
You crawled under the plush covers while he queued up the pre-recorded America vs Brazil match on the bedroom's wall-mounted TV. The familiar sounds of a volleyball game filled the room as he slid in beside you, immediately pulling you close against his chest.
"Ten bucks says America takes the first set," he murmured into your hair.
"You're on," you agreed, snuggling deeper into his embrace. "Brazil's reception has been solid lately."
As you watched the match unfold, you traded commentary and friendly arguments about technique, occasionally interrupted by sleepy kisses and gentle teasing. When Brazil indeed took the first set, you couldn't resist a smug "told you so."
"Yeah, yeah," Atsumu yawned, nuzzling into your neck. "You're just lucky Bruno had a good day."
"Mmm, keep telling yourself that," you mumbled, feeling sleep starting to tug at your consciousness. The warmth of his body and the familiar scent of his skin care products (which he pretended weren't just as expensive as yours) were making your eyelids heavy.
Atsumu reached for the remote, turning off the TV and plunging the room into comfortable darkness. "Love you," he whispered, pressing one last kiss to your temple.
"Love you too," you managed through another yawn, tangling your legs with his. "Even if your sets are only adequate."
His quiet laugh was the last thing you heard as you drifted off to sleep, secure in his muscular arms and knowledge that you'd wake up to another day of perfectly imperfect moments with your favorite setter.
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Ⓒkiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please to not plagiarize, repost, or translate !
tag : @haechansbbg
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the-cosmic-cauldron · 1 day ago
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🧚🏽‍♀️𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒫𝒾𝓁ℯ: 𝒢𝓊𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸ℯ ℱ𝓇ℴ𝓂 ℳℴ𝓉𝒽ℯℛ 𝒢ℴ𝒹𝒹ℯ𝓈𝓈 🧚🏽‍♀️
Welcome to 10 Days, 10 Posts from The Cosmic Cauldron! Over the next ten days, I’ll be sharing a blend of astrology and tarot posts, each designed to spark your curiosity and guide your journey. If you find my content interesting, fascinating, or engaging, be sure to click the follow button for more! Ready to dive deeper into your personal journey? Head to my homepage and book a reading — you won’t regret it.
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ᑭIᒪᗴ 1
Here, I am your Mother Goddess, offering you some advice for your healing journey and your current stage of life. First, I want you to focus on positive things. Sometimes we lose track of the good, but it’s important to recognize the positives each day. I encourage you to write down or verbally affirm three positive things each day, even if it’s just speaking them to yourself in the mirror. One of those positive things should be about you—how you look, how you act, and appreciating yourself. You need to learn to appreciate and affirm yourself. This will help you stay positive and, more importantly, build confidence. Self-acceptance is essential for you right now.
I also want you to stop being so impulsive and spontaneous. While those traits can be exciting, I believe this is a time for you to slow down and create a plan of action. Rather than acting on a whim, take your time and be patient. Life will unfold in its own time, and you have many years to do everything you want to do. Focus on what you can do right now—establish that in the present. Accept where you are in your journey, including the pain, your past, and even the parts of yourself that you might not like. Even if something doesn’t feel wholesome or it makes you feel less confident, accept it. Acceptance is a crucial part of your life right now.
Instead of seeking validation from others or focusing on what others think of you, focus on self-acceptance. This will be freeing for you. By focusing inward, you can cultivate patience with where you are right now. Instead of rushing to move forward, allow yourself to embrace your present reality. Accept where you are, what you have, and what you can do with the tools and resources available to you right now.
You need to be more intentional. Take your time, plan, and stop rushing. Don’t expect things to happen randomly. Accept your reality and use what you have in this moment. Focus on yourself—your work, your effort, and your development. This phase of your life is about self-acceptance, and it’s time to put in the work. Lay down the groundwork, pay attention to the details, and don’t skip over them. Set goals, make plans, and be intentional. This requires inner work, not trying to gain approval from others. Start liking yourself and put the effort into developing your true self during this time.
ᑭIᒪᗴ 2
Here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering you advice for the healing stage you are currently in. One thing you need to focus on is that not everyone is going to agree with you, resonate with you, or be on the same page as you. Don’t try to force your way or get people to see your perspective. Some people are only interested in asserting their own views instead of understanding yours. Not everyone will be understanding, and it’s important to accept that. If someone is not receptive to what you’re saying, accept them for who they are. Trying to change their perspective or improving yourself to fit their expectations is only exhausting your energy. It’s causing you to become frustrated, aggressive, and out of alignment with your true character. You’re investing your energy into people who aren’t reciprocating the positivity you deserve.
Right now, your focus should be on self-protection. Protect your energy and find ways to shield yourself from external influences. Outside pressures are strong, but this is a sign that you need a stronger core. Start journaling and reflect on who you are, your opinions, values, and beliefs. Stand firm in them. 2025 is the year to stand strong in who you truly are. Be clear when communicating with others, and let them know that while you are emotional, you won’t allow your emotions to dictate how you communicate. A clear mind is essential for you right now.
This period calls for you to step away from the crowd and reconnect with yourself. Take time to meditate, journal, and channel your thoughts and words in a way that isn’t excessive or full of resentment, bitterness, or anger. Aim for balance and communicate from a place of confidence and clarity. Accept that there are situations in your life you may not feel good about, but to protect yourself, you need to understand how you ended up in those situations. Self-protection involves understanding the root cause of your circumstances.
If you’re grieving, frustrated, or sad about something, ask yourself: What is the core of this emotion? Did you put yourself in this situation? Did you lack boundaries or intention? Did you lack clarity? These are the necessary questions you must ask to start honoring your happiness, joy, and peace. Self-protection is about honoring these aspects of yourself. By understanding the experiences that led you astray from your true self, you can set new intentions to focus on your happiness, joy, and peace moving forward.
Let go of the idea that everyone needs to agree with your life or respect your decisions. Not everyone will approach you in a respectful way. Now is the time for you to take space for yourself, to re-establish your sense of self-protection. This will help you avoid falling into the same cycles of hurt and pain. Let go of your defensiveness, anger, hostility, frustration, and animosity. Shift your focus inward so you can protect yourself from negative situations and move closer to happiness, joy, peace, and love.
ᑭIᒪᗴ 3
Hi, here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering advice for the healing stage you’re currently in. This period is all about honesty and truth. You need to tap into both. The thing is, you’ve been seeing things through colored glasses, perhaps a bit of delusion. And that’s okay—sometimes delusion helps us manifest things, but it can also hinder our authenticity and clarity when it comes to facing the honest truth in our lives, which is necessary to heal wounds.
It seems like you’re going through a lot emotionally and mentally. There’s a lot happening in your life that you simply don’t enjoy, and it feels overwhelming. It’s important now to be honest with yourself about where you’re at. Don’t sugarcoat it—take the time to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself. Write in your journal, make a video, or even record voice notes on your phone. The key is to be clear and honest with yourself. I sense there’s some self-deception going on, perhaps because you’re repressing emotions or avoiding dealing with them. But these emotions are affecting the way you think, clouding your mind, making it chaotic and hectic.
We need to get you out of this chaotic place, and the way to do that is through clarity and honesty. This period in your life demands this. You need to confront those truths, even though they will be hard. It may feel like you’re being tossed around in a blender, shaken to your core, but guess what? It will lead to something great. You must explore your own truth and authenticity now.
Your mind is cloudy, and when you start confronting these truths—when you acknowledge that your life is not where you want it to be—you’ll start to understand the root of the problems and where they came from. Look at the past for what it truly was, not what you wish it had been. Accept that certain things happened in the past, and no longer view them through rose-colored glasses.
Once you can see how your emotions were affected by those situations, you’ll begin to understand how those emotions have clouded your mind. Your mind has become unclear, scrambled, and chaotic. Now, you need to figure out how to release these thoughts and emotions. Journaling is a great tool for this. Whatever method works for you—writing, recording, or speaking—use it to clear your mind. Brain dump everything so that you can think and communicate more clearly. This will help you start engaging with the world more authentically, without your mind holding you back.
Trust me, facing the truth and being honest with yourself will cause some upheaval in your life, but over time, it will smooth things out. It will lead you to live a beautiful life, rooted in authenticity. You’ll be able to show up as yourself, and the old wounds will begin to heal because you will be living in your truth.
ᑭIᒪᗴ 4
Hello, here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering guidance for the healing period you’re in. This time calls for you to let go. The theme right now is simply to release—the anxiety, the overthinking, the self-doubt. I know it’s not easy, but I’m here to guide you through it.
The first thing I want you to realize is that things you think are personal are often not as personal as you believe. People act based on their own thoughts, not yours. And while they may interfere with what you want, you cannot allow their actions to become a reflection of who you are. Instead, allow people to just be. Let them be, and choose how you want them in your life. You hold the power, not to control their actions, but to decide how you respond and what role they play in your life based on their actions.
Instead of constantly getting caught up in your feelings, always feeling the need to defend yourself or speak up, and getting into altercations with people who don’t think like you—let it go. This is the time to release so much: old habits that no longer serve you, outdated beliefs about what success is, and what you believe is good for you. It’s time to adopt new, positive beliefs rooted in femininity, love, nurturance, art, and creativity. You need to become more fluid, allowing yourself to enjoy life more and embrace the fruits of your labor.
Take your self-care to the next level. Really invest in a solid routine that focuses on nurturing yourself. Change your environment if necessary. If your room or house feels stale, change it. If you’re wearing the same clothes, switch it up. You need change. Let go of all the things you’ve been holding on to, believing you needed them. A key area is your self-care routine. If you don’t have one, it’s time to establish one. If you already do, then re-establish it for 2025. Let go of last year’s habits and create new ones to care for yourself. What will you do for yourself this year?
It’s time to let go of the past. Let go of what you thought you had to be, and choose who you want to be in this moment. Focus on filling your cup and prioritizing your emotional well-being. If you’ve been focusing outwardly on others, it’s time to shift inward. Start small—maybe it’s watching a movie with a tub of ice cream, or going to your favorite restaurant, but begin somewhere. Shift from giving to others all the time and start giving to yourself. It’s time to look up and nurture yourself.
Stop twiddling your thumbs—make decisions for yourself. It’s time to let go of the old. Apologize to others, accept your own shortcomings, forgive, but most importantly—move on. You need to release and let go. Write things down and then burn the paper as a symbol of release. Record a video expressing all your feelings and thoughts, then lock it away. In a year, look back and see how far you’ve come.
Letting go is essential now. Let go of old possessions, material items, emotions, lack of forgiveness, neglecting self-care, focusing too much on others, defensiveness, anger, animosity, frustration, anxiety, self-doubt, and worry. Free yourself to move forward and focus on being present. Ground yourself in the now, not in the old version of you. Focus on who you are becoming, and begin building this version of yourself from the ground up.
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bluespace-writer · 1 day ago
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Seat saved for you
Team Fortress 7th comic story
> Team Fortress characters and GenderNeutral!Reader - [platonic,family dynamic]
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Your breath puffed in faint clouds, as the sun was slowly hiding behind mountains of snow. You walked through a neighbourhood, gazing at houses decorated on Smissmas with bright lights and other plastic holiday-themed decorations. You hold a small letter addressed specifically to you from your old friend, Scout, or now, Jeremy Willis, who was inviting you to join and celebrate holidays this year. You couldn't show up on previous ones, you worked alongside Miss Pauling, helping her get rid of even the smallest connection mercs ever had with the TF industry. You spend over six years helping them, just so they can live normal lives. After long years of destroying the past, you were happy to enjoy the future.
When you got that letter, you answered, promising to show up.
A cold wind was blowing the at back of your neck, as you slowly raised your hand to knock on doors. You waited, ready for someone to open them, tapping your foot over the wooden porch, in the meantime checking if you had everything on you, soon doors opened, and you couldn't stop smiling knowing you'd get to see them again, after seven years.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Oh hey! It's You !" Jeremy opened the door, welcoming you with a wide smile on his face "Get in here, you big dummy"
"Hello there Jeremy! I am late?" You asked.
Fortunately for you, they were just getting started. You put away your coat and presents you brought for others and change your boots, not wanting to dirty the floor with wet shoes. Scout led you to the living room from which loud sounds of laughter were heard. As you walked, you listened to your friend, thanking you for showing up and sticking around for so long. You sparkled with joy at every word he was saying, still in disbelief at how much this loud boy had grown.
"Alright c'mon before this gets embarrassin' " you smirked, knowing it kinda already did.
"Miss Pauling brought us a turkey! But just remember...-"
Both of you stepped into the warm bright light of the room, it blinded you for a moment, but when your eyes adjusted, you saw them all sitting around a large table with a smile on each familiar face. Not the fake one. No. It was the true smile of joy, happiness, freedom, ...of life.
It was something..... that even the most positive words could not describe.
"We couldn't' have done any of this without you."
...you?
You stood there, eyes slowly filling with tears as wide smile showed up on you face. You stared at Scout, who was pointing at saved seat for you, waiting for you to sit down and join them. You walked up to him...and gave him big hug.
"Thank you..." you wishpered, before letting him go.
You sat down, and noticed a man sitting on your left next to you. Was it-
"I see you finally decided to join us"
It was Spy. You tried hard not to freak out, or scream in joy, so you just cracked wide stupid smile.
Everyone started do what they did best, the started to talk loudly, asking you many questions about you job, life, family, everything! You were happy to meet in person their family members, little girl named Tanya was the first one to introduce herself and invited you to play with them. Other kids swarmed you like bee's, wanting all your attention to themselves. So did Pyro, who was holding your arm close to their chest, expressing how much they missed you. Fortunately you were saved by Heavy, who invited you for a drink alongside Medic, Demo, Engi and Sniper. Later Solider pulled you aside to introduce you to his children [with interesting choice of names] and his loving wife Zhanna, who gave you death threat if you try to look at her man in any funny way. At least she gave you strong handshake. Later Heavy's youngest sister Bronislava handed you over some pictures she took, from simple selfies to group photos with men you used to work with but never stop beeing friends with.
◇ ◇ ◇
Hours passed but for you it didn't matter. Time was not a thing when you were with them all, enjoying every second of chaotic energy they brought to this room. Scout was more than happy to see how you and his kids bonded, especially after you told them stories about how their father saved your life many times, how they beat up the bad guys and uncovered secrets together. For the little ones it was one check of a fairly tale, but for you it was your past. Then loud booming was heard outside, as sky sparkled with colors.
"Fireworks!" Kids shouted as they run past you, pining their face to the window and watching with aw how sky lights up on many different colors. As kids watched you sneak away, to join the adults in the living room, to take a break. Spy poured some water in your glass, and handed it to you with gentle smile. You took a sip and looked around, memories coming back to you. It was a long time ago.... wasn't it?
Well
This party just like every party will end, but memories from it will stay in your mind, sorry but you won't forget those nine morons in a lonnggggg time ha! Enjoy this party, even if you have to know it will end eventually, because this won't go on forever... but long enough to make fantastic moment that soon you'll be calling memories.
At that moment Scout rased his glass and shouted "Wishing you Merry Smissmas everyone!"
Team shouted with joy as you joined them, with bright smile on your face, feeling lucky to meet this team all those years ago.
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embracing-the-ineffable · 2 days ago
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Breaking the Silence, posted by Neil Gaiman at 10:20 AM (1/14/25)
I haven't had a chance to process this yet, but NG has posted on his website:
Text below the cut if you don't want to follow the link (And a reminder to everyone, please be radically fucking kind to everyone as they process this in their own ways):
"Over the past many months, I have watched the stories circulating the internet about me with horror and dismay. I’ve stayed quiet until now, both out of respect for the people who were sharing their stories and out of a desire not to draw even more attention to a lot of misinformation. I've always tried to be a private person, and felt increasingly that social media was the wrong place to talk about important personal matters. I've now reached the point where I feel that I should say something.
As I read through this latest collection of accounts, there are moments I half-recognise and moments I don’t, descriptions of things that happened sitting beside things that emphatically did not happen. I’m far from a perfect person, but I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Ever. 
I went back to read the messages I exchanged with the women around and following the occasions that have subsequently been reported as being abusive. These messages read now as they did when I received them – of two people enjoying entirely consensual sexual relationships and wanting to see one another again. At the time I was in those relationships, they seemed positive and happy on both sides.
And I also realise, looking through them, years later, that I could have and should have done so much better. I was emotionally unavailable while being sexually available, self-focused and not as thoughtful as I could or should have been. I was obviously careless with people's hearts and feelings, and that's something that I really, deeply regret. It was selfish of me. I was caught up in my own story and I ignored other people's.
I’ve spent some months now taking a long, hard look at who I have been and how I have made people feel. 
Like most of us, I’m learning, and I'm trying to do the work needed, and I know that that's not an overnight process. I hope that with the help of good people, I'll continue to grow. I understand that not everyone will believe me or even care what I say but I’ll be doing the work anyway, for myself, my family and the people I love. I will be doing my very best to deserve their trust, as well as the trust of my readers.
At the same time, as I reflect on my past – and as I re-review everything that actually happened as opposed to what is being alleged – I don't accept there was any abuse. To repeat, I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone.
Some of the horrible stories now being told simply never happened, while others have been so distorted from what actually took place that they bear no relationship to reality. I am prepared to take responsibility for any missteps I made. I’m not willing to turn my back on the truth, and I can't accept being described as someone I am not, and cannot and will not admit to doing things I didn't do."
Here's information about yesterday's article, which he's responding to:
And another reminder to everyone, please be radically fucking kind to everyone as they process this in their own ways.
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FoxQuin Week Day 2: Chronic Pain
Good Afternoon/Morning/Evening/Night!
I am BLOWN AWAY by the response to my day 1 fic! Thank you all so much for your lovely tags and enjoyment of my fic, I can't wait to see what you all think of this one!
Again, I did both quote and writing prompt.
Day 2: Chronic Pain/"Unfortunately, General, I would need to be a sentient being for that"
I hope you enjoy :D
--
Fox was convinced that the Kaminiise were full of osik.
They touted their own genius and the complexity of their products and straight up lied when talking about the Clones inability to be hindered by common ailments of the regular humanoid.
What a load of poodoo.
Tell that to the marching vode in his head that were doing their best to march right onto the couch he was currently laying on.
Lying crates of osik.
Hex had been trying to find a solution to the migraines since he replaced Chit as CMO and no cocktail of drugs has been able to even dull the chronic marching of vode. It was unbearable.
But Fox had been going through it long enough, he could power through if he had to, but he didn’t have to right now. Hence his prone position on his ugly but comfortably couch.
Good couch. Friendly couch.
“Wow. You look like shit, Foxy.”
Fox didn’t even twitch the arm thrown over his eyes, just groaned at the familiar voice of the constant pain in his shebs.
“That was crass, even for you, Vos.”
“Meh. I’m a shadow, babe, I can use outer rim curses if I want to.”
Firm hands in soft leatheris gloves carefully moved Fox until his head was laying on wonderfully plush thighs and Fox sighed and pushed into the lap he was now on.
Quinlan’s hands carefully framed Fox’s face and slowly started to heat up, using his Force osik to do his best to ease Fox’s pain.
It was hit or miss whether or not it would work and Fox dearly hoped that this was going to be one of the times it worked.
“I wish you could take a sick day or something like that for the days when the pain is this bad, Foxy. It doesn’t seem right that you just have to push through.”
Fox snorted as the pounding in his head started to subtly subside, enough to be background pain instead of the pain that demanded to be focused on.
“Unfortunately, General, I would need to be a sentient being for that. Did you know we don’t even have work week caps? If the Chancellor wants us to work one hundred twenty hours in a week then one hundred twenty hours we work.”
Quinlan scoffed.
“You and I both know you’re sentient. If only the Senate would get their collective heads out of their shebs maybe we could get your migraines worked out.”
“HA. And the Guard likes to call me a dreamer.”
Quinlan chuckled and carefully started sliding his fingers through Fox’s hair, making delightfully soft soothing circles into his scalp.
The Jedi clearly missed his calling as a masseuse.
“Come to the Temple medbay with me?” Quinlan spoke into his forehead, lips touching skin with every syllable. Fox shivered.
“You think they can find something that Hex couldn’t?”
“Bring Hex too. He can tell Che everything he tried. Maybe she’ll have other options. I hate seeing you like this.”
“Mmm. Next time. I just want to stay here a little longer.”
“Of course, Foxy.”
Quinlan gave him a chaste kiss before continuing his ministrations in Fox’s hair and humming lightly under his breath.
It was a good way to suffer through a migraine.
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mikimakiboo · 1 day ago
Text
A second chance
Hi hello here I come with some mpreg for you to eat (and Errormare also)
Original post with the context but basically it's Nightmare being pregnant and Dream not having a clue about it until he does
Can I even call it mpreg if I headcanon Nightmare as nonbinary ? Shouldn't I call it skelepreg instead ? But then again he does use he/him pronouns... hmmmm....
Aaaalso Nightmare and Error's baby was created by me ! His name is Moroz !
TW: male pregnancy, Dream being stupid for drama reasons, vomit, swearing
And I finished writing and proof reading this at 3:30am because fuck my sleep schedule (there might be mistakes left)
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Dream was staring at his brother who had been waiting for him, having entered this AU specifically to get his attention and make him come, but he didn't look like he wanted to fight. Dream didn't want to fight either. Not after everything that happened, not after how stupid he had been.
The raids in AUs were starting to get less frequent, the Stars noticed, and while they could have rejoiced about it, they couldn't help but think that this might have only been the calm before the storm, so when they felt Nightmare and his gang in a pacifist AU, they rushed to it. They didn't lose any time, the gang was here for a reason and they didn't want to wait and see what was said reason.
The fights didn't seem to change, Ink would take on Cross and Dust, and Blue would take on Horror and Killer, leaving Dream with his brother, as usual, to try and talk first before engaging in a real duel.
Nightmare seemed tensed, his tentacles were on a defensive stance more than an offensive one, but that didn't stop Dream from being careful, his arrow ready to shoot. He knew his brother's tactics, he knew that if needed he wouldn't hesitate to appear weak so that the positivity guardian would lower his guard, and then he would strike.
- You and your gang should leave, you know you are not welcome here.
Dream warned, earning a chuckle from his brother.
- Then please tell me where we are we-ourgh-
Nightmare abruptly stopped mid sentence, almost slamming a hand on his mouth, as he scooted closer to the nearest tree to keep balance as he bent over to throw up. Dream didn't expect that. This... wasn't like any trick Nightmare had pulled by the past, it looked very much honest and he could feel his brother's discomfort from where he was standing a few meters away.
- Are... you okay... ?
Dream asked, unsure of what to do as he lowered his bow. Nightmare raised a hand.
- Do not get closer.
He warned, spitting on the ground, before standing straight again and regaining his previous place.
- Okay I'm fine we can start again.
Dream stared at him for a moment, frowning. His brother just threw up in front of him. He had never threw up before.
- I'm not fighting you if you're sick.
He refused, to which Nightmare frowned.
- Fuck you mean you're not fighting me ?
- I mean I am not fighting you. You're sick, I'm not fighting someone who's sick.
Dream withdrew his arrow, making it dissapear.
- I'm not sick !
Nightmare protested, swallowing his saliva, the bad taste still in his mouth. Dream arched a brow, clearly not believing him.
- You just threw up, like, right in front of me.
Nightmare huffed, as if it was a false accusation.
- And since when do you even care ? You've never asked me if I was fine before shooting me !
- Because you have never been sick before !
Dream answered, defending himself.
- Oh I've been sick plenty of times I just didn't think to tell you because you obviously wouldn't have cared.
Dream frowned, did his brother think he was stupid ? That he would believe him ?
- Are you talking about your attempts at making me lower my guard by appearing weaker than you are ? Because that doesn't work on me.
Nightmare stared at him, seeming confused, not quite understanding what his brother was referencing to.
- What the fuck are you on about, I've never done that.
- Oh so you're gaslighting me now ?
Dream couldn't believe it, he knew his brother could set the bar low sometimes if it advantaged him, but this low ? He really didn't expect it, and it kinda took him aback.
- Bitch you're the one gaslighting me ! Telling me I did things I didn't do !
- I am not the one- !
- Boss ! Cross opened a portal, hurry before Ink's up again !
Killer interrupted Dream, catching his brother's attention. Ink had been knocked out by one of Dust's blasters and Blue rushed to his side, leaving enough time for Cross to open a portal to the castle and let the others throught. Nightmare turned his attention to his henchman and after a quick glance towards his brother, he left, which confirmed to Dream that he was sick, because Nightmare had never left a fight without lending at least one hit at him. He knew he should have felt relieved to see his brother leave so fast, but he really hoped he would get better soon..
Nightmare had already walked a few meters when he snapped Dream out of his thoughts.
- You're coming or what ?
Dream jumped, looking at his brother, he didn't notice he had started walking.
- Uh, y-yeah, sorry, got distracted...
He apologized, catching up to him to follow his lead, glancing at his round belly. He still couldn't fully believe it.
It had been quite a few weeks after the "fight" when Dream saw his brother again. He had felt the presence of the group in a peaceful AU but didn't feel any negativity peak, so before alerting the whole team he decided to check himself, not wanting to bother his friends if it was a false alert or a simple decoy. They seemed to be walking throught the trees, on a trail path, talking and laughing. What kind of plan was that ? What were they trying to achieve ? Were they looking to lure people near them by seeming friendly ? Dream didn't trust that. He discretely got closer when they stopped, Dust having found something on the ground that seemed to interest him enough to crounch down.
As Dream got closer, he noticed his brother's aura had changed, he couldn't quite tell why or how, but he seemed different, his tentacles weren't summoned, and when he turned around...
- Oh damn you've got fat !
Dream slapped his hands on his mouth, the whole group froze and turned to look at him, Nightmare frowned.
- I beg your pardon ?
Nightmare asked, rightfully offended. Dream didn't mean to say that. He didn't mean to talk at all but he had been so surprised ! Nightmare had gained weight since the last time they met, and it wasn't the first time they wouldn't see each other for weeks, but he had never gained weight like that. Killer took a knife from his pocket, and Cross summoned his blades, but Nightmare raised a hand before they could attack.
- Frist gaslighting and now fatshaming ? You've sunken lower than I would've expected you to, Dream. Nightmare hissed.
- I didn't mean it like that ! Dream defended himself. I mean, are you okay ? That seems like a lot of weight, are you sick ? Have you been taking care of yourself, eating healthy, exercising ?
Dust got up to join the others by Nightmare's side. Dream's twin looked at him like he could kill him with his gaze only, and the guardian felt chills running up his spine.
- I don't need any of your fucking "I'm better than you" lifestyle advice !
Dream took a step back when Nightmare got closer, but Horror had put a hand on his shoulder to prevent the negativity guardian from going too far from their protective circle, which Dream at first didn't get the need as Nightmare was strong enough to defend himself, but if he really was sick, he most likely was weaker too.
- I'm not trying to give you lifestyle advice, I'm concerned about your health.
- You're concerned about my health ? Really ? Tell me why you're here then.
- Wha-
- Tell me why you're here. Nightmare interrupted him, crossing his arms.
Dream thought for a moment, staring at Nightmare and the others as his twin waited for the answer. What point was Nightmare trying to make by asking him why he came here ?
- I.. came to make sure everything was alright..
- In the universe.
- Sorry ? Dream frowned.
Dream was speechless for a while, he didn't know how to answer that. He did care about his brother, he was genuinely worried about him, but Nightmare wasn't wrong when he said he came here for the universe, he did come here to make sure they weren't hurting anyone, not to ask if Nightmare was doing better, which Dream hoped he did but given his sudden extra weight he doubted it. Would it seem dishonest to ask now ? To ask only after Nightmare pointed it out ? It certainly would, but not asking would only confirm what Nightmare stated: that Dream didn't really care about his health.
- In the universe. Nightmare repeated. You came to make sure everything was alright, in the universe. Last time we saw each other I threw up and, sure, you didn't fight me this time, but you still accused me of lying about all the other times I've been sick and you still fought me, and today you are here, unaware if I'm doing better or not by the way, because you wanted to make sure your precious universe was doing fine, and first thing you say when you see me ? "Damn you got fat", not even a "how are you doing ?", just that I got fat. You don't care about my health. You've never cared about it.
- We're going home. Nightmare said as he turned.
Cross looked at his boss before nodding, using his blade to tear the AU's code and create a portal.
- How am I supposed to know when you're attacking an AU and when you're not ?
Dream asked before Nightmare could cross the portal, stopping him dead, and Dream could tell by his aura getting colder that he didn't take it well. Dream didn't mean it to be rude, he just didn't want to make another mistake. Nightmare turned, Horror and Cross were ready to stop him again and Killer seemed ready to jump at the golden guardian's throat, Dust's expression was hidden by the shadow of his hood but Dream was sure he was mad too.
- Oh I don't know, maybe when the fucking balance tips towards negativity ? Nightmare answered sarcastically. Which, mind you, didn't happen today because we weren't causing any trouble, and in fact, we specifically stayed away from the town to take a nice walk in the forest, unless we are forbidden to do that too ?
Dream frowned, he didn't like where this conversation was going, where Nightmare was orienting it.
- You want me to wait until you hurt people to intervene ? I'm not risking it and you know that.
Nightmare didn't seem to take this answer well either.
- Do you really think the only reason for us to go out is to bring chaos ? That our life revolves so much around hurting people that we cannot go out for anything else and you have to chase us the moment we put a foot in an universe ? And that's why you're here, isn't it ? Because you believe that sooner or later we'll attack ?
- Well excuse me but every time you go out with your subordinates we have to fight you to make you leave, if you weren't here for troubles we wouldn't have to fi-
- How did you call us ? Cross interrupted him, confused.
Dream frowned, not expecting to be corrected on that point, and not seeing how it was a problem.
- His subordinates ? Dream repeated.
- You're making it sound like they're slaves.
Nightmare accused him, sounding almost disgusted by the thought of it.
- Isn't that.. close ?
- We're not his- ! Killer tried to counter, but Nightmare stopped him.
- Killer. He looked at Dream, frowning. They are not my slaves or subordinates or whatever pejorative name you want to call them, they are my friends and we are a tea-
- They're your friends ? Dream cut him, the surprise he felt showing in his voice.
- Yes they are. Nightmare hissed.
Dream looked at him in chock. He never thought of that alternative. Why did he never think of that ? Why did he never think his brother was capable of making friends ? He never saw him having friends, even when they were children, but they weren't children anymore. But Nightmare got worse, he got corrupted, if he didn't have friends then, why would he now ?
- I... didn't know you had friends... he admitted.
- Well I do. Because guess what ? I don't spend my life torturing people like everyone think I do.
Dream frowned at that. He wanted to believe it, of course, he wanted to believe his brother still had some good in him, but with the amount of corruption he had, the amount of negativity he needed to feed himself, what guaranteed him that this wasn't a lie to make him feel bad ? What guaranteed him that Nightmare wasn't playing with his feelings to feed on them too ?
- That's... isn't that what you live for... ? More negativity... ?
He could tell Nightmare got mad by the way his gaze changed.
- No I don't. I don't spend my life hoarding negativity like some kind of dragon, I have other occupations you know, we all have.
- You don't just.. plan for future attacks.. ?
- No the fuck I don't ! Nightmare yelled, Horror put his hand back on his shoulder. I don't spend my free time planning stuff or plotting against you, my life doesn't revolve around you ! I do stuff, I go out, I read, I spend time with my friends, I go on dates, because yes I have a boyfriend, I play games, watch movies, I just live ! I live like a normal fucking person !
Dream took a step back, cautious, when Nightmare started to yell it usually never ended good. How was Dream supposed to know all that ? He had never seen his brother being anything but angry, bored or annoyed ! How could he have guessed ? It wasn't like anyone could attest it, no one had ever seen Nightmare show kindness to anything.
- Well I didn't know ! It's not something I could have guessed !
- Guess what ?! That I have a life ?! Nightmare barked.
- That you have feelings ! Dream yelled back.
Nightmare froze. Dream didn't add anything. It came out before he could refrain it. He didn't mean it like that, he knew his brother had feelings, of course he had, only objects didn't have feelings, what he didn't know was that he could feel positive emotions. Everytime they met, he only felt negativity, he thought the corruption was refraining him from feeling positivity, he thought he was cursed in a way, that he just couldn't feel fully. How could he have guessed it wasn't true when Nightmare never let him see it ?
He regretted saying that almost instantly, he saw the change in Nightmare's gaze, he felt the shift in his aura, he caught a glimpse of the tears forming in his eyesocket when Horror gently ushered him into the portal and he didn't resist. Killer jumped forward, Dust caught him by the arm.
- Let me at him ! I'm gonna fucking kill him !
Dust's gaze locked on Dream, cold.
- He doesn't even deserve our time. Let's go home, Night needs us. He added loud enough for Dream to hear the nickname, then pulled Killer throught the portal.
Dream watched it close behind them. He really screwed everything up, didn't he ? He didn't mean to sound like that, he didn't mean to make it seem like he didn't consider Nightmare like a person, like he was just some sort of beast, but how could he have guessed differently when that was all that he even saw ? All that he knew ? All that he heard ? Everyone was telling him the same things: Nightmare was bad, Nightmare didn't feel happiness, only sadism, Nightmare couldn't feel positivity, Nightmare used his henchmen like pawns. Dream heard that everywhere, and he never got to see the contrary. Was he at fault for believing the multiverse ?
Maybe he was. Maybe he should have investigated himself, looked for proof instead of believing words, but he was so young when he got out of stone. So young, so scared and so lost, what could he have done then ? His universe was no more, his own brother was the reason of it, and everyone agreed to tell him he was a bad person capable of no good. How could Dream not believe that when he had witnessed it himself ? There wasn't any reason for Dream not to believe them.
And yet here he was, standing on an empty trail path, shame burning his chest, wondering for the first time if everyone lied to him from the beginning just to make sure he was on their side. Did the villagers lie too ? Had he been lied to from the very beginning ? How many lies did he blindly believe ? Was he really that naive ? Was he really that fucking stupid that even now as an adult he couldn't think for himself and check if all of it was true ? He didn't want it to be true... he didn't want his brother to be but a negativity seeking monster, he didn't want that to be the reality, he had never wanted it, but he had always foolishly believed it.
Such a stupid child. Stupid child and now stupid adult. Couldn't even think for himself, always waiting to be held by the hand and guided into a fake reality.
Dream got pulled out of his thoughts again when he heard the sound of a bell ringing: Nightmare had entered a building, one that he knew very well for having spent time inside before: Ccino's cat cafe. It was way past closing time.
- Isn't Ccino closed at that time ? Dream asked, still entering after his brother.
- I've got a special permission, it helps when I'm not welcome anywhere else.
Dream looked down, his feeling of shame returning, knowing he contributed to that.
- I'm coming ! Ccino's voice called from the kitchen.
As the owner of the coffee shop arrived, a few cats followed him, some going to Nightmare to purr against his legs.
Ccino stopped when seeing his two clients, not used to having both the twins at the same time in his shop, but still smiled, looking at Nightmare especially.
- How's it going ? You didn't tell me you were expecting twins ? Ccino asked, guiding them to their table.
Nightmare chuckled. Dream never heard him chuckle. Never happily at least.
- Oh I'm not, he's alone in there, just taking up space.
- Well you know what they say: big belly small baby.
Nightmare arched a brow, smiling.
- Do they say that ?
- Well I do, Ccino snickered back.
Dream listened to their joyous conversation without intervening, the two obviously seemed to be good friends, enough for Nightmare to tell Ccino about his pregnancy, Dream didn't want to interfere with that. He felt his soul clench a little in his chest thought, he knew he had no right to feel sad about that but part of him was pained that his brother didn't tell him. He learnt he was pregnant by pure chance.
Dream was at the grocery store, he hadn't seen Nightmare in three months, and guilt hadn't stopped eating him since then. He wanted to apologize more than anything, but he didn't know how. He didn't know what to say that would make Nightmare at least agree to listen to him, he didn't need to forgive him, Dream couldn't forgive himself either, but he just wanted him to listen, to know he is sorry. But Dream didn't know what to say, where to start, if he should start by what happened in Dreamtale, or what happened after, what happened on that trail path or in that fight... he had so much to apologize for, he didn't know where to start. He should apologize to his gang, no, his friends, they were his friends, too.
He sighed, putting the can he was holding back on the shelf before moving to another aisle. He didn't know what he was looking for, he just came in the store to clear his mind, think about something else. Nature always reminded him too much of Dreamtale, he didn't need that right now.
He heard something fall on the ground next to him, and someone muttering a swear, looking at the fallen object he saw it was box of plastic spoons for babies, so he naturally bent down to pick it up, not wanting a possibly pregnant person to make unnecessary efforts when he could give them a hand.
- I've got it- he froze when he stood up, box in hand.
Nightmare was in front of him, frozen too, a hand on his full of baby stuff cart. Dream stared at him, he didn't expect to see him here, and especially not in the baby aisle. He suddenly had a thought when seeing him like that, and his gaze slowly deviated itself from his brother's gaze, going down until Dream saw what he thought was extra weight, but now very much looked like a pregnant belly.
Nightmare reflexively put his arm around his belly when noticing that Dream was looking at it, taking a step back as if afraid he would attack him inside the store.
Dream looked up, frowning, he wasn't going to attack him, but he could understand why Nightmare would think the contrary, and he didn't want to make him more nervous by staring at his belly for too long. He had told him he was fat. He had told him he was fat and looked sick when all this time he was just pregnant. He had told him such atrocities. He felt so much worse, but he was also relieved because it meant that his brother's health was good, that he wasn't sick, he was even expecting a child, he was truly happy for him ! He really was, but would Nightmare believe him if he told him ?
Nightmare's gaze kept going from Dream to the spoons, and that was when the guardian noticed he was still holding them. He slowly handed them back to his brother, watching him take them in a hurry to shove them in the cart and start leaving right away, not wanting to stay here any longer.
- Nightmare, wait ! Dream called before he could even think about it.
Nightmare stopped, not turning around, but Dream knew he was listening, waiting for what he had to say, giving him a chance of maybe not fucking it up this time... Dream wasn't sure what to say, apart from the truth...
- Congratulations.. I'm happy for you, I really am... I'm sorry for everything...
Nightmare didn't answer, waiting another few seconds before leaving the aisle and leaving Dream alone when he didn't add anything else. Was it a good sign ? Dream wasn't sure, he hoped it was, but he would also understand if Nightmare never wanted to talk to to him ever again, at least he knew he was sorry...
That must have been a good sign, or else his brother wouldn't have been waiting for him a few days later, leading him to this cat cafe.
- As usual ? Ccino asked Nightmare.
- Make it two, he answered.
- Alright, make yourself at home.
Dream watched as Ccino went back to the kitchen, leaving the twins alone. He was sitting in front of Nightmare, a cat was purring against his brother's laps as he was softly petting him. For how many years had Dream wished he could sit this peacefully with his brother ? For how many years had he been lied to, hearing that it would never be possible as his brother was too far gone in his corruption ? For how many years had he believed these lies ?
- Go on, Nightmare talked, say what you must.
Dream looked at him, playing with his thumbs under the table, nervous, he knew Nightmare could feel it too.
- You... you said "he"... does that mean you're having a boy.. ?
Dream asked, he didn't want to assume the baby's gender, he didn't want to assume anything anymore, he wanted to know for sure and the best way to know the truth about his brother was to ask his brother in person.
- I am. His name is Moroz, Error came up with the idea. Nightmare confirmed.
- Is... Error the dad... ?
Nightmare nodded.
- We worked on his aphephobia, he's doing way better. Guarding negativity also means knowing how phobias work and how to deal with them, not just terrorizing people.
Dream looked down, nodding. He didn't try to defend himself, why would he ? Nightmare was right.
- Here you go, have a good time. Ccino said as he came back.
They thanked him when he put their orders on the table before leaving them alone again. Dream looked at it: there was a mug of hot chocolate and a plate with a homemade piece of brownie and a vanilla ice cream ball on it. It looked delicious.
The two started eating in silence. The first to break it was Nightmare.
- I never hated you you know, I was mad at you because you never tried to understand me, from when we were kids to now, I felt like you never really cared about me... you never tried to ask me about my point of view, how I experienced things, you would just believe whatever your friends would say and leave me behind...
Dream looked up from his mug. Was that how Nightmare had felt all these years ? Left behind ? Not listened to ? How did Dream never notice this ?
- I did care about you, I always did and I still do, I'm so sorry I didn't make you feel that way... I really wasn't a good brother to you, but you were everything to me, you still are, and I don't know how to show it, I never knew...
He apologized, looking at his brownie, not feeling brave enough to meet his brother's gaze.
- You could start by not believing what everyone tells you to... people like saying bad things about me, very few of them are true...
- I know... at least I want to know... I want to know you, the real you, not the one people made up for me... I want to know my brother, I want to know my twin...
He slowly looked up. Nightmare had a soft gaze.
- I'm not asking for forgiveness, I know what I did all those years was more than horrible, but if you allow me, I would like to try and do better for you... I want to do better, to be better, I want to be a good brother... I want to listen to you and not the others, not anymore...
- I don't forgive you...
It stung. But Dream knew he couldn't force him to forgive him, and it was okay, he didn't deserve forgiveness, he knew what he did, he knew the damage couldn't be repaired with just some words, but he was ready to do so much more than words.
- But... I want to give you another chance... I want to know my brother too, I want my son to know his uncle... Nightmare added.
Dream nodded, a relieved smile appearing on his lips. His brother accepted to give him a second chance, to let him meet his son, it was more than he could have wished for.
- I'll do my best, I promise.
- I know.
Nightmare smiled, for the first time in years, he smiled at his brother, a real smile. Dream was sure he cried at that moment. He spent the rest of the evening on a cloud of happiness, enjoying a calm moment with his brother, forgetting the world around them, he would have wished it never came to an end, but Nightmare had to go home, he didn't want to worry the others, and the pregnancy was tiring, he had to rest. Dream didn't try to stop him, smiling as he watched him cross the glitchy portal, knowing a home was waiting for him. He truly was happy for him.
Dream didn't see his brother much after that, he was approaching the end of his pregnancy, he could understand that he wanted to stay home, even if it did worry him, so when Cross came to him to tell him Nightmare wanted to see him, he didn't hesitate before following him.
He had never seen Nightmare's house, well, castle it that case, he must admit that his brother might have been a tad dramatic, but the interior was warm and cozy, welcoming, a lot of work had been put into it. It was so far from what everyone kept saying, from the cold and dark manor people would describe.
Dream was waiting in a little saloon, sitting on a couch, he didn't dare touch anything, afraid to break something important. A door opened, and Dream turned, Nightmare was looking at him from the doorstep. Dream got up but didn't come closer, waiting for his brother to either come by himself or tell him to come.
- You can sit back down, I'm coming in a minute, just wanted to see if you were here. Nightmare informed him.
- Of course I'm here... Dream replied, sitting down again.
Nightmare looked at him for a bit longer before leaving the room again. He didn't come back too long after, this time holding a little ball of covers in his arms, he sat next to Dream on the couch.
- I want you to meet someone... Nightmare said, looking at the cover in his arms.
Dream almost gasped when Nightmare moved one of the covers, revealing a little face looking at him with still sleepy eyes. A black-boned baby, with cyan markings on his cheeks and fingers, and big light blue eyelights. His brother's baby, his nephew. Dream got a little closer, not to much, but still enough to see him better. He felt tears forming in his eyesockets, and he knew he was smiling.
- He's adorable...
- I know... Nightmare replied, smiling lovingly at his son.
Moroz shifted, slowly looking up at Dream as Nightmare caressed his round cheek.
- He's your uncle, honey...
Dream felt his soul getting warmer when Nightmare introduced him, it was surely ridiculous, but hearing him introduce him as his child's uncle ? The simple fact he introduced him to his child ? Dream hardly could have felt happier.
He didn't start good as a brother, but Dream swore on his life he would change, he swore he would do better, and he would be the best uncle to his nephew. No one in the whole multiverse could ever convince him this sweet child was the fruit of two heartless monsters, no one could ever lead him like he was lead before. He made it a promise, he would never believe lies again.
27 notes · View notes
zara-renata · 1 day ago
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currently vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass bc of your new caleb fic. like oh my god i need to be held so bad bc the YEARNING OH MY GOD. you are so so good at writing the tension (sexual and not) between these two characters. reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse. i loved the bits where we got to see in his head especially at the end where u told us that the meeting was no random coincidence but instead a test of the reader’s reaction. that’s so good, reader’s feelings felt so visceral and the way that they pretty much only say caleb’s name as the entirety of their dialogue is the perfect touch. i loved the unveiling of caleb’s mechanical augmentation and how tender it was and the mention of caleb’s blush. it shows how reader’s feelings still have the capacity to surprise him or lay bare his own want for her even as he is carefully trying to control every aspect of their reunion. i’ve never read the little prince but the references were so cool and tbh everything u sprinkled it from their childhood was so well placed. the nightmares that reader has had and how caleb comforted them, how they were both longing for more but never crossed the line. it’s so delicious and if im honest every mention of caleb’s body had me wound up bc his design is so attractive but the way that the reader described him was practically body worship it was so good. thank u for mentioning his happy trail and his hairy arms i needed that 😭 this line was probably my favorite bc the (un)subtle dominance and possessiveness of the first half had me gripped by the neck i swear: “resting your clasped hands on his big thigh as he drives one-handed, relaxed.” it’s so domestic but clashes so hard with the actual context of the scene. i love how they settle into these rhythms with each other bc they know each other so intimately even tho they’ve never crossed that romantic/sexual line. and god when the fic switched to caleb’s perspective at the end and he was ignoring how hard he was i literally shoved my fist in my mouth. the restraint!!! the longing!!! the want!!!! i feel insane. and of course the finger in the mouth made my brain short circuit. it’s so lifestyle dom of caleb, and the mention of choking reader lightly just to bruise her for others to see and for them both to enjoy. i need to be locked up in a cage and released only on january 22nd bc idk how im gonna wait patiently for caleb now. (last thing is that the mention of the choking/hand on her throat really crystallized for me what caleb’s favorite position probably is but let me not say right now or i might blow up) but thank u thank u thank u for this fic. every day i wish infold was on here ready to hire u to write out the lore for sylus and now i have u to thank for wonderful and intriguing caleb characterization
Okay so I've read this comment multiple times, especially now as I'm polishing the second part and am having serious doubts about whether it will ever see the light of day because it's A Lot, and I think will be a turn off for a lot of people because it backtracks in time to their growing up together. So thank you for all the kind things you point out about part 1, it's really encouraging because i have been putting in so much thought into this version of the calebmc character dynamics with what we now know about him. he's clearly manipulative, possessive, two-faced, dangerous, suffered from guilt for so long about how much he wanted her, his feelings for her, which caused him emotional turmoil, shame and self-recrimination before he died, but because he's a main LI and this is a romance game, I firmly believe he genuinely loves and cares for mc. like all the LIs, the writers will play up his possessive, protective, 'villain' quirks in the memories but never have him cross the line into truly toxic territory. More under the cut because this became a novel.
So I want to take these characteristics and really want to explore the relationship dynamics and how deeply these two would have affected each other from the moment they met/were brought under the same roof. I love your description of 'reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse.," because that's exactly how I imagine it for her throughout her youth and then during his death. and it's clear from the PVs of Caleb that he has felt the same, lamenting how he had to 'endure, day after day, suffocating." with teenage emotions, that house was probably a powder keg of high-key feelings and they never let themselves act on them. that's amazing to me.
Because he knows MC inside and out, I imagine him being much more assertive in interacting with her (kind of what you described as a lifestyle dom, even though I think BDSM terms can sometimes be so limiting when discussing human relationships). but like, for example, to contrast with sylus (who is embodiment of love, he is not lying when he says that no love is purer than his), he always is so careful to make sure he has mc's consent, that mc is with him of their own free will, that he's not coercing mc, mc is choosing to be with him, actively. he made such a shit first impression with mc, and just wants to love them, to be loved in return, and he is so patient and calculating and plotting to ensure that he does it in a way that mc will respond positively to. he's begging for mc to notice him while being terrified of fucking up again imo. But i imagine that with caleb, caleb already knows mc in this life, he knows what she wants, he likely feels like he already has mc's consent and just acts. he's likely stubborn and obnoxious insisting that he knows best. he's not offering quid pro quo, transactional exchanges like sylus; doesn't feel the need to negotiate, because he's already put in the time, he's always been protecting and loving mc and present in a way that sylus has been unable to be until he kidnaps mc like the heartbroken dragon he is. i think caleb probably draws so much self worth from already knowing, anticipating, and providing for mc, trying to 'create a world where it's just the two of us,' definitely likes being the only one (in his mind) that can give mc what she wants/needs. whereas with sylus it's easy to write him as the green flag he has always been, trying to write caleb's brand of possessive, mask-wearing possibly-brought-up-to-kill mc but fell in love with her instead, in a romantic way, without crossing into abusive, toxic territory, presents an interesting challenge for me right now.
in any case, i'm trying to challenge my anxiety here big time, because caleb is already controversial due to the 'childhood friend/adopted brother' schism in the translations and the fandom, and because it's clear that he's two-faced and manipulative, and you have to consider their childhood when thinking about their current relationship, and with the way online culture is these days it kind of feels like a mine field wanting to dig into their story and give it context that infold will likely not give us because, well, they still haven't done that for mc at all and everything she's been through, and still haven't done it for the first few days with sylus. so I appreciate this message, esp. since people follow me for my sylus stuff and i'm shoveling unreleased obsessive caleb fic at them while letting sylus simmer. i also appreciate the comments/tags people have left on the fic itself. it's reassuring that there are people out there who like complicated, nuanced relationships in their fanfic (which I try to write with varying success), especially with caleb and his divisive place in the fandom. So thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoyed this fic.
and finally: he's not even out yet, my take on him currently could be wildly OOC and people should point and laugh at me and maybe throw things at me too once he's out and he's nothing like i'm predicting lmao. if you're caged till the 22nd, i'm right there with you, 8 days uuuuuuugh
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lumdays · 3 days ago
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Hihi!!! Tis the season to ask holiday themed asks!! Assuming the world of TWST celebrates winter holidays, do your OCs celebrate any holidays? If so, what are some things they like to do?
Thank you!!
I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE AAA😭😭
PAST
nico is pretty indifferent to holidays, it's a day just like any other to them. but they can see the appeal, objectively. so they do participate in activities if prompted to do so (amur). but they HATE the cold (it's almost like it killed their mom, their dad AND their sisters😹😹) so they tend to bundle themselves AND their friends up before going outside if they can't just stay indoors
agatha never really experienced holidays for herself back when she was a kid, but she's always been envious of the other children running around and having fun... which is why she’s very eager to celebrate now! she'll try out anything she can get her hands on, she does end up being a little bit of a try-hard but she's lazy usually so this is a somewhat positive change. anyway, she's having fun so it's alright
cue amur dragging her friends to go out and play! she loooves holidays! whether it's on land or underwater, she doesn’t care at! all! holidays are holidays and they're theeeee beeeeest, though she enjoys going out (for like, snowball fights and the likes. yes she does this the second it starts to get cold, even when it's not anywhere near the holidays yet), she also loves decorating christmas trees, it's the artist in her! (the tree looks AWFUL, but no one has the heart to tell her so. she proceeds to decorate the trees of everyone in the vicinity, she has to be stopped before she goes decorating all the trees in the forest nearby as well)
PRESENT
siyun sleeps in. big deal for someone who's usually up and about by 5 am. MORE SERIOUSLY, uhhh siyun sorta dislikes holidays. well it's more of a numb feeling than full on dislike, but it's definitely not love and not quite indifference. holidays weren't particularly good news back in their world either, but they usually powered through it with a smile ("hey! i managed to live long enough to see these lights fifteen years in a row! lol"). holidays were a handy way to locate themselves on the calendar, but things are different in twisted wonderland. they're lost and they have no idea how to get back on track, which greatly bothers them and their mild appreciation for holidays considerably soured (they did manage to get out of bed by 10 am and trudge through the day with their friends back on earth, give it another hour or two in twisted wonderland)
FUTURE
flos likes holidays! she tends to gravitate towards mer festive customs (??? i'll find something later) but she's a simple girl and if her friends wanna do something else then she doesn't mind! but do NOT expect her to do everything the right way, she WILL build a gingerbread house with 90% icing and 5% gingerbread (she ate the other 5%). part of her doesn’t really know what to do and is winging it, the remaining half of her just finds it funny
taglist 🤑🤑🤑🤑(SORRY IT'S JUST ME YAPPING)
@elenauaurs @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @skriblee-ksk @heyhellohihowareyou @distant-velleity @bunniehunn @jadelover69 @theleechyskrunkly @sickle-stick @angelwishess @nemisisnemi @chillygourami
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really-sheety-ghost · 2 years ago
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Dropping my phone and shattering the screen 4 days before I'm out of town for a week was not on my 2023 bingo sheet, but here we are. 🙃
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mossy-aro · 4 months ago
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
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dreamsy990 · 10 months ago
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
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sketch
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closeups on my favorite panels
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bonus: adios
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gingermintpepper · 5 months ago
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One of my biggest pet peeves is the assumption that something has to be sad for it to be tragic.
I've always been a big believer of the 'Apollo has an awful love life'/'Apollo is plain unlucky with love' line of thinking but it does bother me that the general reasoning for that statement is given to the concept of 'Apollo is somehow undesireable and thus rejected' (Cassandra/Daphne/Marpessa) or 'his lovers die young and thus their love is unfulfilled' (Cyparissus/Hyacinthus/Coronis). I personally think that's a very unfortunate way of looking at things - not only because it neglects the many perfectly cordial entanglements and affairs Apollo has had, both mortal and divine - but because it presents a very shallow interpretation of the concepts of love and loss and how loss affects people.
Apollo can still grieve lovers that have a long, healthy life. The inherent tragedy of an immortal who knows his lovers and children will die and cannot stop it does not stop being tragic simply because those lovers and children live long, fulfilled lives. The inherent tragedy of loss does not stop being tragic simply because someone knows better than to mourn something that was always going to end.
What is tragic is not that Apollo loves and loses but that loss itself follows him. Apollo does not love with the distance of an immortal, he does not have affairs and then leaves never to listen to their prayers again. He does not have offspring and then abandon them to their trials only to appear when it is time to lead them to their destinies. He raises his young, he protects the mothers of his children, he blesses the households that have his favour and multiplies their flocks that they may never go hungry. He educates his sons, he adorns his daughters and even in wrath he is quick to come to his senses and regret the punishments he doles out.
Apollo loves. And like mortals, there will always be some part of him that wishes to protect the objects of his affections. Apollo, however, is also an emissary of Fate. He knows that the fate of all mortal things is death. He knows that to love a mortal is to accept that eventually he will have to bury them. There is no illusion of forever, there is no fantasy where he fights against the nature of living things and shields his beloveds from death. Apollo loves and because of that love, he also accepts.
And that, while beautiful, is also tragic.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#apollo#Listen man#I think there's something extremely beautiful about Apollo's affairs#Yes I know that Ares also loves and cares for his daughters but this isn't about him#There's just something about the way that Apollo put his all into it every single time#To the point that even when he does know better he still fights because of the strength of his love#The Iliad to me will always be a love story#Yes Achilles' wrath is said to come from his overwhelming feelings towards Patroclus#but what Achilles does has nothing to do with grief or love#By the end of everything Achilles forsook that love which ought to have defined his actions based on what he was saying#and warped it into a weapon meant to satisfy the void left by his loss#Apollo though - I am always taken aback by the sheer weight of his love#towards not only Hektor but towards all of Troy in the Iliad#And how he is very careful to balance that love and all the ways he wishes he could fight against their inevitably end#with his duties as one who is both aware of the impending end and whose position in the war#has put him in opposition with his elders#That delicate balance between a love so powerful that he is willing to take on the full weight of Athena and Hera's wrath#and an understanding that the battle he fights is not for victory but simply because for love's sake#How could you not think of that as beautiful and awesome and so achingly tragic#I feel the same about both Asclepius' and Actaeon's deaths#Apollo loved BOTH of his sons - Asclepius and Aristaeus - so so SO much#He was so incredibly proud of them both and delighted immensely in the both of their victories and talents#And so when Asclepius dies and it is by his own father's hand - I have always found his act of wrath so fascinating#Honestly this could be its own separate post - but the fact that Apollo does not beg Zeus to reconsider or to bring Asclepius back#when Apollo has made cases for lenience on things like that before speaks of a level of understanding from Apollo that Asclepius was always#going to die because of his pushing of the boundary between life and death#so he doesn't bother trying to reason with Zeus or plea his grief - instead going directly to destroying something important to Zeus
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iamespecter · 3 months ago
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What in the ever loving fuck is going on with this PC
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