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bvidzsoo · 2 days ago

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Every time I see you...chapter 4 ↰

...my throbbing heart rate spikes up

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

☆ Warning: cursing, alcohol consumption ☆ Word count: 6.6k ☆ Rating: nc-17 ☆ Genre: slice of life, established relationship, post university setting, angst ☆ Summary: Nothing feels better than waking up in a warm bed with your sweetheart cooking breakfast, the scent of pancakes wafting through the open door. The only problem is that Mingi isn't your sweetheart, not exactly, and the night ends in an unexpected turn with your heart heavy and cheeks tear streaked.

☆ Visuals ☆

M.list ~ Previous Chapter

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! The new chapter is here and, well...we'll speak once you've read it haha. Nothing good lasts forever...or it does? If communication is good, I'd say it does but, oh, well...thank you for reading this story so far, I really appreciate your comments and feedback. I cannot say when the next update will be as I am focusing on finishing the drabbles for mine and Mina's March Event (which you should take a look at!^^) because we have fixed deadlines (that I've fallen behind on lol, nothing to worry about, I work best under pressure lmao.) I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry for making you wait for the next one, I'll try to make it worth! Lmk what you thought of this chapter! ^^ divider

Taglist: @spicxbnny @hongjoongspoetry

🎧𝛦𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑖𝓂𝑒 𝐼 𝘴𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝜎𝓊, 𝓂𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝜎𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 / 𝑆𝑝𝑖𝑘𝑒𝘴 𝓊𝑝 ℓ𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝘴𝑡𝑖ℓℓ 𝑡𝜎 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝘴 𝒹𝑎𝑦 / 𝛵ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝜎𝑡𝑡𝜎𝓂 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑓𝜎𝓊𝑛𝒹 𝜎𝓊𝑡 𝘸𝑎𝘴 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝘴𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝘴𝑒 (𝑏𝓊𝑡 𝑦𝜎𝓊’ℓℓ 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑘𝑛𝜎𝘸) /… 𝐼 𝒹𝜎𝑛’𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝑎 𝓂𝑎𝑛, 𝒿𝓊𝘴𝑡 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝘴𝘴𝜎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝘴🎧

I groaned as something bright and warm fell on my face, making me scrunch it up in annoyance as it bothered my peace. Had I not closed the curtains before going to bed last night? I groaned again, a little louder, and turned onto my stomach to bury my head into my pillow. It was always a bit tricky waking up after my day off; the pull of the warm bed was really tricky and easily made me oversleep, and then I’d have to rush to the store. But if the sun was directly blazing on my face, it meant I still had some time before I’d be late to work. Pulling my head off the pillow, I turned it back towards the window, reaching my right hand out, only to feel up an empty space. My eyebrows furrowed as I opened one eye, instantly getting blinded by the sun. I sighed and stared at the empty spot next to me. The blanket was crumbled, and the sheets were pulled together in a way I knew only Mingi could make them be. He had a talent for getting tangled up in the sheets in his sleep, sometimes, it was hilarious waking up to him with his pillow over his head or the blanket wrapped around his body in an awkward position. That’s mostly why we slept with separate blankets; he’d hog it way too often, but since I had washed the spare one yesterday, we had to share my big blanket last night. It wasn’t as bad as I had expected it to be, even though Mingi tried to tease me by pressing his cold feet against mine until I gave his shin a rather firm kick.

I wondered where he had disappeared to now, pondering whether he had gone home already. There were mornings when he’d quickly rush home before I could wake up, but as my brain cleared more and registered everything around itself, I realised a sweet smell was in the air. I flipped onto my back and rubbed my eyes to get the sleep out of them, a smile pulling at my lips as I heard the tinkering of pans and pots out in the kitchen. The bedroom door was left slightly ajar so that Mingi's tinkering in the kitchen wouldn’t wake me but so that the delicious smell could trick me out of bed. I chuckled and grabbed the edge of the blanket to pull it over my head, stretching my body out as I groaned in satisfaction when my vertebras popped. The croaking of the floorboards outside my door caught my attention, and I pulled the blanket off my head just as Mingi stepped inside the room with an amused smile on his lips.

“Good morning, Aurora.” I scoffed at his teasing, pouting up at him as he approached the bed.

“It’s not even late,” I grumbled, my voice a bit scratchy from having not used it for a while, “What are you doing up so early anyway?”

“Breakfast, can’t you tell?” Mingi raised an eyebrow as I hummed, glancing past him through the fully opened door now. Based on the delicious scents, I could guess that he was most likely making pancakes. Mingi loved pancakes, and he didn’t miss a chance to serve them whenever the opportunity was given to him.

“Are you done with it?” I asked, giving him a mischievous smile that made Mingi’s eyes narrow in suspicion.

“Does it matter?” He asked, leaning down, his hand resting next to my pillow as I chuckled.

“It sure does,” I mused, reaching a hand out to trace his bottom lip gently, “Because I’m not getting out of bed yet.”

“Well, my princess, I can serve breakfast in bed for—” Mingi cut himself off with a high-pitched scream as I grabbed his arm and forcefully yanked him down into the bed, thankfully he had half the mind to fall next to me and not completely on me, he was heavy since he was tall. Mingi’s large eyes stared at me as he raised his head, adjusting his position into a more comfortable one as I giggled, leaning forward to press a kiss against his lips, morning breath be damned. It was rather obvious that he didn’t know how to react, and it only made me laugh as I manhandled him onto his back before turning him onto his side, forcing him to face the sun.

“You should’ve closed the curtains, you monster.” I imitated his low voice, rather badly, as I cuddled up to his broad back, throwing my arm and leg around him. Mingi yelped as I fisted his blouse and pulled him back into my chest, my leg around his thighs tightening, “Now I’ll make you pay for waking the princess so early on.”

“Really?” Mingi’s tone dripped with amusement as I felt his fingers sneak around my wrist, “How?”

I smirked, leaning my head up to kiss his nape, knowing that it would tease him and give him the wrong idea. Mingi hummed low, intertwining our fingers over his heart as he pried my tight grip on his blouse off. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop my huge grin from spreading all over my lips.

“You are being sentenced to an indefinite time of cuddling with the princess.” My tone was serious as Mingi paused, making no sounds, “And you’ll be the small spoon too, princess.”

That got Mingi laughing, his chest rumbling as he raised our intertwined hands and pressed a kiss against my knuckles. I giggled and buried my head into his broad back, gently kissing it as we settled down into a comfortable silence. Mingi hummed, tracing my knuckles with his bare fingers, curling up his body to give me the chance to hug him into myself. My eyes fluttered closed as I pressed my forehead against his nape, breathing steadily and revelling in his familiar scent.

“You turned the stove off, right?” I mumbled into his skin, and Mingi hummed, nodding slightly.

“I have no intentions of burning down your lovely apartment.” I chuckled as I poked at his chest with my index finger.

“Great, thanks.” After a thought, I asked another question, “You made pancakes, didn’t you?”

“Guilty. Am I being charged for that too?” I could hear the smile in Mingi’s voice as he asked, his tone low, and I laughed, pursing my lips.

“Perhaps, yes, but I have to figure out what the punishment will be.” Mingi chuckled, wriggling his legs like a little child, “Although I can’t complain about getting free breakfast brought to me in bed.”

“Ah, ah, we are eating in the kitchen. If I spoil you too much, you’ll become too demanding, my princess.” I scoffed, staring at the back of his head, pouting slightly.

“As if…I’ve never had breakfast in bed before.” Mingi chuckled, turning his head to look back at me. We couldn’t exactly see each other, but I did raise my head to try and meet his gaze.

“Did someone buy you flowers? I saw them on the counter.”

“Yeah, I did. They are pretty, aren’t they?”

“They are, do you want me to buy you flowers in the future?”

Did I want that? I gulped, biting my bottom lip as my heart lurched suddenly. What was this? I thought my stupid thoughts and conflicting emotions were a thing of yesterday, of the past, and wouldn’t bleed into today, “I mean…I think, yes.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, then,” Mingi muttered, flattening our interlocked palms against his chest. His heart was beating steadily, his skin warm through his pyjama’s blouse. I closed my eyes and sighed, enjoying the silence as neither one of us said anything else. Mingi started humming something slow and quiet, something he most probably listened to on his vinyl. It sounded beautiful, soothing, and comforting…much like Mingi himself. I found myself chewing on my bottom lip again, wondering if Mingi felt the same way in my presence as I felt in his. It was a jarring thought, the curiosity to know more about Mingi’s thoughts. He was like an open book, yet I realised I never really knew what exactly was going through his mind. He could read my mind so easily, it made me wish I could do the same for him. Perhaps then I’d understand why he’d stare at me so deeply sometimes, why his smile would soften and his eyes would light up if I laughed, why he loved holding my hands even if we were just sitting down in the living room, watching a movie.

A whisper, something faint and so very quiet I almost missed it, echoed in my ears, telling me that I knew the answers to my questions. It was so obvious, it was right in front of me. Mingi had never shied away from the truth. But I was afraid that if I admitted that there might be something more between the two of us, it would become real. I didn’t want that, I liked the serenity of right now and the secure feeling I only get when around Mingi. He shifted slightly, turning on his side and making me scoot back a little bit as our eyes found each other, his soft while mine searched his face. He raised his head and leaned forward, pressing a kiss against my forehead.

“Do you want to meet up before the get-together?” Mingi asked, his voice low. I nodded as I pulled my hand out of his to turn him fully onto his back, slithering closer to Mingi until I was lying halfway on top of him. He grunted but hugged an arm around my waist, his large palm warm against my skin. I hugged him as best as I could, burying my face in his neck as my heart raced, wondering why I didn’t want this moment to end, why I wanted to lay in his arms, in my bed, forever. Mingi hummed almost as if he heard my thoughts, burying his nose in my hair as he gently caressed my lower back, “We should eat before the pancakes go cold.”

“Five more minutes?” I mumbled into his skin, giving in to the urge to pepper kisses against his collarbone and neck.

“Okay,” Mingi whispered, his body relaxing further underneath mine as I pressed a long kiss against his jaw, my eyes fluttering closed. I wished I could capture this moment and keep it forever, store it deep in my heart, away from any prying and questioning eyes. I never wanted Mingi to walk away, and that was scary; that meant I felt too much for him already.

The day went by in a blur now that I had something to be excited over. I had been wondering what to wear all day long, and all that hard work to clean my closet went down the drain just a day later as I tried to find the right outfit. It wasn’t anything complicated or fancy, but I rarely went out nowadays, so I wanted to pretty myself up. The get-together was at one of Seonghwa’s fancy houses; him coming from a rich family came with such benefits. And despite his status, Seonghwa remained humble and a great person to hang out with. He had been one of the first people to welcome me onto campus, so excited to have all the freshmen gather up in front of the building, his papers stacked neatly in his hands, his smile bright as he called everyone’s name to make sure they were there before he gave us a tour of the university and its grounds.

The house was already filled with people by the time Mingi and I arrived. Our hands were intertwined until we walked up to the front porch, ringing the buzzer despite being able to just walk inside. We knew Seonghwa preferred it that way, always lurking close to the lobby so that he could welcome everyone. He was beyond ecstatic when he opened the door and saw it was us, pulling us into bone-crushing hugs as Mingi laughed, and I handed him our little gift. It wasn’t anything expensive but the corner store wine Seonghwa would often get drunk off of during our crazy years; it made him laugh as he beckoned us inside with a wide smile. From there on, Mingi and I had migrated towards the kitchen, accepting the glasses of wine from Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s husband. The two had moved fast, but they had no regrets, living their happy and quiet life in one of Seonghwa’s massive homes. Hongjoong was trying to break through in the fashion industry, and Seonghwa's mother’s expertise was certainly of help to him.

I remained mostly by Mingi’s side at first, conversing with our old friends or the new people we were introduced to. At some point, Jongho joined us too, already drunk and jolly. We were sitting at Seonghwa’s massive oak table in the dining room, laughing about a story a guy I didn’t know was retelling. He seemed to be on good terms with Hongjoong, though. The two looked like they had known each other for a long time, and Hongjoong would look mortified any time the guy remembered something new that we might not have heard about. Jongho’s arm was around my chair as we were huddled close together, watching silly TikTok videos on his phone, when I felt Mingi’s hand settle on my thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, but his attention was on the guy now making a scene, his voice shrill and loud as he and Hongjoong argued about the accuracy of his story. I paid no mind to Mingi as I made Jongho scroll to the next video, mumbling about wanting to show me something, just as Seonghwa walked inside the room, two familiar faces on both sides of him. I gasped as my eyes widened, and I was out of the chair before anyone could stop me.

I reached Giselle first since she jumped in front of me, hugging me tightly and even lifting me off the floor and whirling me around, making me yelp as I held onto her for dear life. Wendy joined in on the hug when my feet touched the ground once again, and we giggled to ourselves as Seonghwa took my previous spot, smiling fondly as he said something to Mingi. And from then on, the girls and I found a nice sofa in Seonghwa’s living room and huddled together to catch up on life. Giselle was back in the country but only for two weeks; her next exposition would be closer to home, and she managed to negotiate to lessen her stay period over there. Wendy was planning on taking some vacation time off and going home, relaxing to recharge before she embarked on her new project. We giggled and shared stories throughout the night, going from tipsy to drunk as our glasses were always refilled with some fancy wine that was rather sweet than dry. At some point, Mingi had wandered over to us and greeted the girls with a big grin, asking whether we wanted to have dinner. We weren’t hungry, so we declined, and Mingi left only after ruffling my hair and telling me to keep it down with the alcohol. He was right; my worst enemy was hangovers, and even if it was Saturday tomorrow, he knew I would hate myself if I had to stay in bed all day long.

“So,” Giselle spoke up, glancing at Wendy before looking back at me, “Mingi, huh?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I took a sip of my wine, my tongue tingly and my legs a little numb, “What about Mingi?”

My speech wasn’t slurred, but I was only two glasses away from it.

“Well, I heard you arrived together,” Giselle said, as if that meant anything. I scoffed, tilting my head with amusement.

“And? Everyone knows Mingi and I are friends, no?” My eyebrows furrowed when Wendy and Giselle glanced at each other, “Or do people not know? I thought it was obvious…”

“Oh, there’s certainly something obvious about you two; I just don’t think it’s your friendship.” Wendy snorted, placing her chin in her palm as my eyebrows furrowed even more. What were they talking about?

“I’m lost,” I huffed, “What do you mean?”

“It’s pretty obvious to everyone in this room that you two are dating.” Giselle said, breaking the silence that would’ve stretched on, “Why didn’t you tell us—”

“Wait.” I raised my palm, an incredulous laugh bubbling past my lips as I closed my eyes for a second, “Dating? Mingi and me? That’s ridiculous. We aren’t dating, not even in the slightest.”

“We don’t buy it.” Wendy fired quickly, grabbing my wrist when I went to take a sip of my drink, “He’s been looking at you with hearts in his eyes the whole evening, he checks up on you every hour, and he never goes far enough that he can’t keep his eyes on you. I haven’t seen a friend who’s that protective, to be honest, so you can’t lie to us.”

“I know we don’t meet up as often nowadays,” Giselle started with a pout as I turned my head to look at her, “but I thought you’d tell us something like this still. It’s pretty important if you ask me…”

Wendy nodded in agreement, looking at me expectantly. I gulped, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked around the room, finding Mingi leaning against the fireplace with a beer in his hand, speaking to Yugyeom and someone I didn’t know. He was smiling, listening attentively to whatever was being said, but almost as if he felt my gaze on him, he looked up, and our eyes met. His expression softened, and he tipped his can of beer in my direction, winking before he looked back at Yugyeom, nodding to something he was saying. I bit my bottom lip, feeling my two friends’ eyes boring into the sides of my face.

“You know we saw that, now, spill.” Wendy pressed, and I sighed, looking down at my lap as I played with my glass of wine. What was there to spill? Mingi and I weren’t together, and therefore, there was no groundbreaking news I should have told them about. We were friends and nothing more; maybe our intimacy went further than that, but that meant nothing.

“We are friends, nothing more.” I took a sip of my wine, wondering where Hongjoong had disappeared to with the sweet alcohol in my glass, “But we’ve grown closer over the years, after graduating especially. I don’t know, we just…we’ve been sleeping together, I guess.”

“I knew it!” Wendy exclaimed, making a few heads turn in our direction. She smiled sheepishly, and I cleared my throat, glancing at Giselle since she was still silent. She had a contemplative look on her face.

“For how long?” She asked, genuinely curious.

I shrugged, averting my eyes from my friends, “For ten months.”

“What?!” They echoed, their jaws slack as they glanced at each other before looking back at me with an incredulous look on their faces. I grimaced and looked around, making sure no one was trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. My eyes found Mingi again as I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering how much more I wanted to share with the two girls. I felt like they wouldn’t understand what we had, that our intimacy was just as much platonic and nonsexual as sexual too. It just made sense to me, to Mingi, and I hesitated in saying it out loud because I knew many people wouldn’t understand how that worked or what that meant.

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal. We are friends who sleep together sometimes, nothing’s changed besides that.” I muttered, downing my wine. Giselle’s eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed my hand.

“Are you saying you’ve never discussed what you two are?” This is why I didn’t like talking about Mingi and me, about whatever we had. They clearly didn’t understand and probably wouldn’t either.

“We don’t have to discuss it, Giselle, because there’s nothing to discuss. I can’t explain it either because it’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before.” My tone was harsh even if I didn’t mean it to be, and I sighed as I looked at Wendy and then at Giselle, “Let’s just drop this topic, please.”

“Okay,” Giselle said, but Wendy didn’t look done with this yet.

“You can deny it all you want, Y/N, but you’re in lo—” I stood abruptly, trying to keep my glare off my face as I looked at Wendy sharply.

“I’ll go and get a refill. Want something from the kitchen?” Wendy gave me a pointed stare as she shook her head, and Giselle shrugged, looking down at her own glass.

“Can you check if Hwa has any chips? I’d like some salted ones.” I nodded and turned around to head for the kitchen, my steps were heavy as I stomped through the house. I didn’t look at anyone as my head swirled uncomfortably, my thoughts eating me up and wondering what Wendy would’ve said if I hadn’t cut her off. But I didn’t have to wonder too hard since I already knew the answer, the skip of my heart proving it when I realised Mingi had brushed up next to me. He looked handsome tonight, ravishing even, in his form-fitting muddy green t-shirt, black cargo pants and thick boots. It showed off his physique nicely, his wide shoulders and small waist, the gentle but firm muscles of his biceps, and his broad chest. His black hair was gelled back, his small eyes sharper tonight as he had asked me to deepen them with some black eyeshadow. His numerous necklaces and bracelets were eye-catching, and his hands were littered with his silver rings. I sighed as I found the bottle of wine and poured myself some.

“Something happened?” Mingi asked gently, eyebrows furrowed. I shook my head and took a sip of my wine, taken aback when I realised it wasn’t the same one I had been drinking. Mingi noticed my grimace and chuckled, leaning over the counter to grab a different bottle of wine, “You’ve been drinking this one, not that one. That’s Hongjoong’s favourite, that’s why it’s so full, nobody really drinks it.”

I glanced down at the glass and hummed, deciding that I would finish it since I had poured it out for myself. I hoped Hongjoong wouldn’t mind too much, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“If I say no, will you want to go home?”

“Well, is your answer then, no?”

“Nope, I’m having fun.” I shuddered when I felt Mingi’s pinkie brushing against mine, and I retracted my hand, very aware that anyone could see us right now. I didn’t want Wendy and Giselle to give me looks when I returned to them, so I busied myself by walking around the counter to look for chips in the cupboards.

“Okay, me too. Let me know when you want to head home.” Home, as in my apartment. Mingi was sleeping over tonight as well, we had concluded it was best I didn’t roam the city on my own if I accidentally became drunk…which I was, just not too drunk yet.

“I will, save me some chips.” Mingi grinned before he left the kitchen, making me slouch against the counter as I sighed, feeling something heavy settle over my chest. The night had started out great, and yet, I was regretting it now. Was it really visible to everyone in this house that Mingi and I were sleeping together? Did everyone think we were a couple, much like Giselle and Wendy? My jaw clenched as I grabbed the salted chips and my glass, marching back to my two friends. If they didn’t bring this subject up again, I knew I’d be able to relax at last, but for that, I needed more alcohol and less Mingi.

By the time 3 am rolled around, everyone was drunk and tired, so it was time to depart from Seonghwa’s mini-mansion and head home. My feet felt heavy, and I was sure I would’ve fallen to the ground if it hadn’t been for the arm hooked around mine, keeping me steady despite Mingi’s already wobbly stance. We were both drunk, there was no denying it, our giggles and laughter loud on the empty streets as we walked further away from the fancy neighbourhood Seonghwa lived in. We’d thought about calling a cab or catching a late-night bus, but the crisp night air felt refreshing against our heated skin, and we’d already been walking for fifteen minutes. We only had about ten more and we’d finally reach my apartment. The streets were empty and dark, illuminated by the lampposts and the full moon above our heads, our guide for the night. I giggled at the sound Mingi made, trying to imitate the owls that hid on the tree branches.

“That was horrible.” I laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder as Mingi scoffed loudly and dramatically.

“No, it wasn’t! You try doing it, then.” He shrugged his shoulder to make my head bounce, and I laughed, looking up at the star-filled sky. Taking a deep breath, I let out a loud sound that was a mixture of a roar and a meow, terrible and so horrible I almost choked on my own spit. Mingi stumbled on his feet hearing it, then pressed a hand against his mouth as he broke out into hysterical laughter, making me pout with a huff. It wasn’t even that bad.

“Stop it!” I whined, pulling away to punch his shoulder. Mingi just laughed louder, clutching his stomach as we stopped walking. I threw a second punch to make sure it hurt this time, and Mingi whined, grabbing his left shoulder as his eyes widened, “Don’t look at me like that, I told you to stop.”

“You’re always so demanding.” Mingi groaned, rubbing the sore spot as I stuck my tongue out at him, taking off again. He was hot on my heels as he threw his arm around my shoulder, yanking me into the side of his body and almost making me lose my footing. I huffed and grabbed him around the waist, turning my head to bite into his chest since his jacket was pulled to the side. Mingi yelped and suddenly stopped, grabbing my jaw and yanking my head up, “Are you possessed by a wild cat, baby? What’s with you tonight?”

I giggled, staring up into his eyes with mischief, “No, I’m just drunk.”

Then, before he could anticipate my next move, I pushed him back by his firm chest and took off running down the street, squealing like a lunatic as I jumped on benches too, trying to put much distance between Mingi and me. He was calling out my name, voice loud and higher pitched, his pursuit loud as he stomped after me, asking me to stop before I got hurt. But I didn’t listen to him as I giggled, the wind whipped at my face as I ran even faster, barely missing the boulder which would’ve sent me to the ground, giving me a nasty bruise. Running like this in my inebriated state wasn’t smart; my feet felt heavy, and my head spun as I whirled around to try and gauge how far Mingi was, but all I saw was a blur of his dark leather jacket and hair slowly catching up with me. I giggled and faced forward again, ignoring the red light for the crosswalk since there were no cars around, and grabbed the lamppost as I made a circle, sticking my tongue out at Mingi when I saw the scrutinising look he sent me. Before he could grab me, however, I took off again, laughing loudly as I was reminded of a time back in university when we were stranded under a store’s canopy while it rained cats and dogs. We were drunk then, too, and my brilliant idea had been to run out into the rain and jump into puddles. Mingi was against it until he saw how much fun I was having, and he joined me as we jumped into every puddle on the street. I didn’t let him blame me after we both came down with a cold the next day.

My apartment complex was in sight as I smiled to myself, my heart racing as I slowed down into a casual jog, fishing around my pockets for my keys. Mingi’s ragged breaths reached my ears before his arms were wrapped around my torso, his breathing loud as he squeezed me.

“That was foul, I feel like I’m about to throw up.” He panted as I chuckled, unlocking the entrance to the building, “You’re laughing, but I’m being serious, baby.”

I scoffed and stopped walking, turning my head to look up at him, “Baby? Why the sudden petname?”

“Can’t I give you one?” Mingi raised an eyebrow, his tone snappy. I shrugged and started walking again, albeit struggling a bit since Mingi continued to cling to me. Walking up the stairs would be a challenge like this, but it was for shits and giggles after all. I could only hope my neighbours wouldn’t hate me too much since Mingi and I were far from being quiet, stumbling into the railing multiple times while we giggled, our bellies hurting from all the laughter. Mingi refused to release me, however, so getting up to my floor was even more difficult with our drunkenness added to it. But truthfully to us, we made it and then stumbled on the last step, shooting forward straight into my door. Something made a loud sound, and my eyes widened as I turned my head, watching Mingi’s grimacing face, his forehead leaning on the sturdy door. I had caught my fall with my left hand, but it seemed like Mingi wasn’t as lucky as me.

“Fuck, I think I just split my head in two,” Mingi muttered, rubbing the already-reddening spot and I pressed my lips together in hopes to stifle my laughter, but it was fruitless. The second our eyes met, I started laughing loudly with little regard for our neighbour's sleep, Mingi’s lips downturned into a pout as he gave me a sad look, “It hurts like a bitch, don’t laugh at me! You’re so evil, Y/N.”

That only made me laugh louder, but it was muffled by Mingi’s free hand pressing against my mouth. He couldn’t stop my laughter like that, but at least it wouldn’t wake the whole floor up. He also took the keys from my hands and tried to open the door as I finally was able to calm down, and playfully bit Mingi’s finger as he yelped. He gave me an incredulous look as he pulled his hand back, and I chuckled, hugging him around his waist as he finally unlocked the door. He pushed it open and stepped inside, pulling me with him since I didn’t want to let go yet. The door closed with a soft click behind us, and Mingi turned the light on in the small hallway, shifting around in my arms so we faced each other. His arms came to hug me around the neck, head lowered as I peered up into his eyes. He looked pretty in the dim lighting, I couldn’t help but smile at him as he hummed, brushing a strand of hair off my face. My vision of hanging up fairy lights in the entrance hallway suddenly returned as I realised the light would be reflected in Mingi’s soft and warm eyes, bouncing off his smooth skin and painting him in a warm glow. I gulped, finding myself breathless for no reason.

“I want to hang up fairy lights in this hallway,” Mingi nodded as I spoke, his face focused and eyes searching my face. His expression had turned serious all of a sudden, and I found my heart racing nervously, “I think they would look pretty, plus I don’t like how dark it is in this hallway. I could leave them on overnight.”

Mingi just hummed, cupping my face as his eyes landed on my lips, his tongue poking out to wet his. I gulped, finding myself mimicking him, still breathless and my cheeks warm, “You’d also look really pretty underneath the lights.”

Mingi froze for just a second, body tensing before he dived forward, his lips catching mine in a passionate kiss. I sighed as I pressed up on my tiptoes, fingers burying in his leather jacket as Mingi’s warm lips captured mine between his, insistent but attentive so he wasn’t overdoing it. I stepped closer until our bodies were flush together, and my head tilted back, a whimper escaped my lips when I felt Mingi’s fingers sink into my hair, holding onto gently. He didn’t have to ask for me to open up; I did it naturally and eagerly as our tongues swiped against each other, hungry and hot. Mingi tasted like cheap beer and caramel, I had seen him sneaking a few caramel candies into his pockets before we left Seonghwa’s place. He hummed against my lips as I let him have his way, front teeth catching my bottom lip and suckling on it as I felt my cheeks become even hotter. My hands slipped underneath his leather jacket and generously felt up his firm chest before settling on his back, my nails digging through the thin fabric and into his skin. I felt myself moving backwards until I collided with the door and Mingi moaned as I sucked on his tongue, eager to get his jacket off so that I could undress him. I couldn’t explain the sudden want in my body, the heaviness on my chest a little lighter now that it was just the two of us. I wanted to feel his naked hot body pressed against mine, skin to skin and heart to heart.

As I gripped the collar of his jacket, I felt Mingi’s fingers wrapping around my wrists and his head pulling back, puffs of hot breath hitting my lips. His eyes opened as I licked my lips, staring up at him a bit dazed. The sudden rush of oxygen felt almost sickening, but I paid it no mind as my eyes bore into Mingi’s. They were shaking, they looked utterly vulnerable as they hid an emotion I couldn’t quite read. I realised even his hands felt to be gripping desperately around my wrists and I gulped, wondering if something happened that made him feel like this. Perhaps his friends, too, had been drilling him about the two of us. I knew Mingi was a sensitive person, and once something bothered him, it would stay on his mind for a long time. But before I could voice my concerns, Mingi gulped and then spoke.

“I love you.” I felt my blood run cold as my fingers tightened into the leather, my eyebrows twitching.

“Mingi.” I whispered, an incredulous laugh falling off my lips, “You don’t.”

I didn’t let him speak as I pressed our lips together to silence him, but Mingi was pulling back as he shook his head, “Yeah, I do. I love you.”

My heart was racing still, but the excitement was replaced with anxiety. My jaw clenched as I looked at his face, registering the panic and desperation in his expression.

“I love you, Y/N.” I flinched as I felt his hands cup my cheek, his head leaning closer as he forced me to stare into his eyes, “I really—”

“No.” I cut him off, voice trembling as I grabbed his arms, fingers aching as they dug into his jacket, “Stop it, Mingi, you don’t know what you’re saying. We are drunk.”

“Sober or drunk, it really doesn’t matter, baby.” His voice was low and a bit rough, riddled with slight panic, “I love you no matter what.”

“Fuck, no, you don’t, Mingi.” I snapped, my voice harder as I felt my hands shake, my eyebrows furrowing. It was as if someone had splashed cold water over my head; my toes felt numb and my legs too heavy to move. I couldn’t look at Mingi’s face anymore, so I averted my eyes, dread settling in my chest. Had Giselle and Wendy talked to him? This couldn’t be happening, not now. Why did Mingi have to love me? We’ve been fine until now; why would he ruin our friendship over something as silly as love?! Did he even know what love meant? Why was he so sure he loved me?!

“Y/N, please just—”

“No, Mingi, you don’t love me.” It felt as if someone had a vice-like grip around my throat, making it harder and harder to breathe and speak, “Stop with the nonsense.”

“You are the one speaking nonsense, Y/N.” Mingi snapped, eyebrows furrowing for a second before obvious fear crossed his features, “I love you. I will say it as many times as I have to, until you believe me. I love you. I really love you, Y/N, I—”

“Shut up!” I didn’t shout, but my voice was higher as I slapped his hands away, wishing to take a step back, but the door behind me stopped me from doing so. Instead, I pushed at Mingi’s chest to put distance between us as it suddenly felt hard to breathe, my bottom lip trembling, “Get out.”

“What?” Mingi’s face fell, his eyes widening.

“Go home,” I whispered and grabbed the doorknob, twisting it so that I could open it for him. Mingi was frozen, gaping at me as if I had just said the most horrible thing to him. I didn’t look at him as I gulped, feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. He had to leave now, I refused to cry in front of him after he told me he loved me.

“Y/N—”

“Goodnight, Mingi.”

A beat of silence passed as neither one of us moved, and a chill ran up my arms as Mingi’s jaw locked, his eyes narrowing into sharp slits. I didn’t care, at least I told myself, as he brushed past me without a greeting or a kiss to my forehead, without brushing his fingers against mine sneakily, without a sweet and warm smile on his lips as he winked. I slammed the door shut as I heard him going down the stairs and quickly locked the door, scared he’d let his stubborn mind win and turn him back around, storming back inside my apartment. My legs suddenly gave out as I gasped, my brain in a daze from the alcohol and Mingi’s words as they swam in my head, loud and clear as if he was still standing in front of me and repeating them.

The only problem was that it had started sounding mocking and insincere the longer it echoed in my ears, and I flinched when I felt my cold tears streaming down my cheeks. And then, out of nowhere, a painful sob tore through my chest, shaking my body as I pulled my knees up into my chest, crying until there were no tears left. Love was a dangerous feeling; it never lasted, and it was misleading. It’s never been kind or fair to me, I couldn’t do it. Mingi wasn’t in love with me, he was just confused.

>> next chapter

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i-dared-myself · 3 days ago

Text

Name on My Skin

Jisung x reader

In which you meet the perfect soulmate for you.

In a world of soulmates, it is chaos. Oftentimes, meeting your soulmate is love at first sight. Other times, they meet their best friend. Occasionally people die before meeting theirs.

Or there are the times that people’s soulmates weren’t nice people. You would meet someone who you had positive ideas about for your entire life, only for them to be an asshole.

Your greatest fear is for your soulmate to be a jerk. For them to be some kind of psychopath or someone who should be in prison.

That is why you always avoid any chances of meeting your soulmate. You don’t go on blind dates. You refrain from physical touch, not wanting a mark to linger on your skin.

Your mother is not pleased.

“Who’s going to take care of you?” she yells, hands on her hips.

“I have friends,” you tiredly remind her. “And why are you here?”

She huffs and turns around, looking at all the shirts. “I don’t know why you even bother buying it. It’s not like the love of your life is going to appreciate it.”

“I have a job interview.” You rub at your forehead, fighting off a headache. “This is very important to me, okay?”

Your mother breathes out through her nose, barely hiding her disdain. “I don’t know how you expect to make any money there. Makeup? For men?”

“Men can wear makeup.” You peruse the options carefully. You don’t want anything too flashy, but you do want to stand out from all the other candidates. “And it’s their job, too.”

“What are they, models?” Your mother shakes her head and scoffs. “I don’t think this is a good fit for you, dear.”

“It’s just an interview.” You select a shirt off the rack and hold it up. You smile as you bring it out to checkout with your mother trailing after you. “It’s no guarantee of a job.”

Your mother sighs. “You’re right. You probably won’t even get it.”

But you do.

You get the job.

Now you’re a makeup artist for Stray Kids, finally making use of your degree. You had always been told it was a mistake to go into the field, but here you are.

When you walk in on your first day, you’re given the run down. Where the styling room is, who your coworkers are, and everything important.

You’re slightly ashamed to admit to your coworkers that you’d never listened to Stray Kids.

You had heard of them, just never gotten into it. You had never listened to them, nor watched anything with them.

You weren’t against them; it just had never peaked your interest enough to risk your mother’s wrath. She deeply disapproved of most things; boy bands being one of them.

So when they walk in, you might possibly be confused.

A man sits at your station, settling onto the raised stool. He smiles at you, eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re new.”

“Uh, yes.” You bob your head, reaching past him for your tools.

“So who’s your bias?” he asks, making you pause.

You hesitate because you don’t know any of their names. “Uh, you?”

He grins, poking the one next to him. “Do you hear that, Hyunjin? I’m the favourite!”

Hyunjin scowls and closes his eyes as his makeup artist moves to his eyes. “And?”

You try to swipe the brush over this man’s face, but he’s bouncing around wildly. You’re attempting to wrangle him back into his seat when a man walking by frowns.

“Stop it!” he scolds. “Can’t you see they’re trying to work?”

You smile softly. “It’s okay. We have time.”

“Sorry,” the man mutters. He slumps back and looks up at you, smiling sweetly. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Jeongin gave him too much coffee. I swear, I have to limit their caffeine intake.” The man shakes his head with a heavy sigh. “Anyways, you are…?”

You tell him your name before hesitating. “Right. Um, it’s nice to meet you…”

“Bang Chan.” Dimples form at the corners of his mouth.

“Wait.” The man sitting in your chair frowns. He straightens and looks at you in horror. “Do you not know who I am, either?”

Hyunjin laughs, shoulders shaking. “This took a turn.”

“Sorry, no.” You wring your hands nervously. “I promise I’m not trying to disrespect you and- and-“

“I’m Jisung,” he declares. He crosses his arms over his chest and lifts his chin. “You lied to me.”

Your face burns with embarrassment. “Sorry. I just- You-“

“So I was your favourite without you even knowing who I was!” Jisung exclaims. He begins to slap Hyunjin’s arm excitedly. “Did you hear that! Did you hear that?”

Hyunjin wordlessly slides out of his seat and pads towards the door.

Jisung winces at you. “He’s not a morning person.”

“Jisung!” Bang Chan calls from the other side of the room. “Hurry up!”

Jisung grimaces. “Right. Sorry, let’s do this.”

You finish the rest of his face, smiling gently at him as he bounces away. He tries to take you with him, but you dodge his hand.

“I’ll be here if you need a touch-up,” you tell him, feeling bad when he pouts.

“I’ll try my best to not smudge it!” Jisung vows solemnly, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “I don’t want you working so hard on your first day.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” You laugh lightly. It’s nice that he cares so much. “But that’s why I’m here. Don’t worry about it.”

Jisung just giggles as he runs off, going the way Bang Chan had gone. You shake your head, hiding a smile as you clean up your station. You have no idea how it got so messy already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hoist your bag over your shoulder, checking your phone. You don’t have any notifications so you open the weather app so it looks like you’re still busy. You love your new job, but you’re tired after training and training and smalltalk galore.

Your nose is so buried in your screen that you don’t even notice the man sprinting in your path, head turned in the other direction. He knocks into you and your phone clatters tk the ground. You collapse as well, and his hands grip your forearms to help you up.

“Jisung?” You frown as he bends down to pick your phone up. “Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” He scratches the back of his neck, eyes flicking up from where they had been focused on the ground. They widen a fraction and his lips part in surprise.

“Jisung?” You wave a palm in front of his face. “You good?”

“You- I-“ He gasps and points frantically to your arm, where there’s a tattoo of his name.

You blink at it. “That’s new.”

“Oh my gosh.” Jisung stumbles away from you. “You’re a crazy stalker!”

You shake your head desperately. “No! I have no idea how that got there!”

He wets his lips with his tongue. “Then that means…”

You both stare at each other for a minute. Neither of you seems to want to say it, but the words seem to hang in the air.

You found your soulmate, and he’s Jisung. Jisung is your soulmate. What you had been avoiding for years finally arrived.

“Um.” Jisung’s throat flexed as he swallows. “This is a thing.”

“Yes,” you agree. “This is a thing.”

Jisung watches as his name fades from your skin, never to be seen again. Now that you know who the other is, the only thing left to do is discuss where this leads.

“Are you gay?” Jisung blurts out. He winces. “I mean- I’m totally okay if you are. I support! I love, um, lesbians? Okay that came out wrong. I just mean that like-“

“I like men,” you assure him, heart melting. This… Jisung is the type that you wouldn’t be scared of. “And I would be willing to explore a relationship.”

His shoulder slump as he blows out a heavy breath of relief. “Okay, I’d like that. Can I buy you dinner?”

“Sure.” You nod and tuck your phone in your bag. “How was your day?”

Jisung seems taken aback by your question, but walks by your side as the two of you go out the door. “It was really good. I bet you can guess why.”

You smile, feeling all gooey inside. “I bet I can. Uh, I know it’s not great if we’re seen in public together, so is there anywhere specific you want to eat? Somewhere you go often?”

Jisung considers it for a moment before brightening. “Oh! There’s a really small shop near here. Good food, and no one is ever there.”

“Lead the way,” you say. You’re so glad your soulmate is someone like him.

Taglist:

@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret @hansmic @imeverycliche @strawberryscentedd @iwuberic @lezleeferguson-120

#han jisung x reader #jisung x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #soulmates #soulmate au #gender neutral reader #stray kids x gender neutral reader

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honey-on-your-tongue · 3 days ago

Text

FWB

Part 9 Logan Howlett x fem!reader Series masterlist

a week ago

The days blur together. All he knows is that he’s drinking too much. He’s no longer keeping track of where he is, or what time it is, or how much alcohol he’s had. He’s not even keeping track of the women he hooks up with. He doesn’t care. He’s trying to drown, be it in a river of his unshed tears or in the hundreds of whiskeys he drinks. Either way, he just needs it all to disappear.

One night, he’s sitting at a bar, chatting up some girl whose name he can’t even remember. And as she talks and talks and talks, Logan finds himself thinking of you.

You and your gorgeous eyes. You and your sweet words. You and your brilliant mind. And this girl…she’s nothing compared to you. None of the girls he’s ever been with compare to you. Not even Jean.

Yes, he loved Jean. Yes, he admired her. Yes, he cared for her. But you? You’re just…unique. There’s something about you, a certain essence that no one else posseses. It’s like you and him were made to fit together; two pieces of the same puzzle.

And this woman is talking and talking and talking and Logan remembers your laugh, the scent of your skin, the taste of your lips, the feeling of your fingers in his hair, the arch of your back, the little snores when you were asleep…

What am I fucking doing?

He springs up from his high chair at the bar and the woman pauses.

“Are you okay?” she asks, eyeing him.

In his drunken state, Logan shakes his head and slurs out, “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I have to get back to my girl,” he replies and stumbles towards the exit.

The night is cool and dark and lonely, but Logan doesn’t notice that. He doesn’t notice how he almost falls a hundred times or how he gets lost half as many times. All that’s in his head is you. You, you, you. He has to get back to you. He has to.

What the fuck was he thinking? What the fuck was he doing? He just…walked out on you. He’s a fucking idiot.

“Well, that ain’t new,” he mumbles at himself as he finally sees the mansion in the distance. God, how long has he been out here, wandering the streets like a lost dog? It’s gotta be at least two, three in the morning.

You’re probably asleep. He can picture you lying in your bed, eyes shut, lips parted slightly, your hair all over your pillow…

He stands at the front door for ages, his hand on the doorknob, his heart in his throat.

He feels nervous, scared, disgusted with himself. How is he supposed to face you tomorrow morning? How is he going to look you in the eyes and ask for forgiveness after what he’s done?

He considers leaving again, but, fuck, he just needs you so bad. And not in a physical, I need her for sex kind of way. He needs to sit down and talk with you, needs to hear about your day, needs to smell your hair right after you’re out of the shower, needs to feel your hand in his while he drives you two somewhere for date night. He needs to love you, like he needs air. In fact, he may need it more than he needs air. At least that’s what it feels like.

Scared that he’ll run into someone else who might be up, Logan decides to take the kitchen door. He pushes it open silently and slips inside, as nervous as a little kid who just broke an expensive vase.

He’s had enough to drink, but he figures a beer won’t do him any harm. So, he heads to the fridge and takes out a can of beer. He’s just opened it when he hears it. Footsteps. Soft, measured. And then, the scent of you, the sound of your heart beating.

Everything in him stops, his blood seems to turn to sludge and time slows. A little smile threatens to show on his lips, but he’s not sure he’s in a position to smile at you. “You’re always too loud, never did learn to calm your heartbeat. I heard you a mile away.”

You peek out from around the corner, frowning as you take in his appearance. “Lo?”

God, he missed that. The way you’d say his name, the little nickname that makes him feel like he’s human and not some monster. He sees the way you look at him, though, the way you study his messy hair and long beard. Yeah, he hasn’t been taking care of himself, lately. Life’s been hell without you. And he wants to say that to you. But he doesn’t. He just takes a sip of beer to wash down the words.

You cross your arms. “What’s wrong with you? You can’t just fucking walk in here whenever you damn well feel like it. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Where are the others?” Logan asks, trying not to think about your words. What’s wrong with you?

I don’t know, he wants to scream. I don’t know. But maybe if I’m by your side, I’ll be okay.

“Working,” you tell him and he sees you put a little switchblade away.

He imagines you all alone here in the night, defenseless. They left you all alone? Left you to take care of the kids and the mansion while they all left on a mission? His blood boils. No, he realizes. They didn’t leave her alone. I did. I’m supposed to be here.

“Lotta good that would’ve done you,” he says sarcastically about the little blade, angry at himself. He was out drinking while you were here alone, defenseless. He’s an idiot.

“Where the fuck even were you? You’ve been gone for, like, a week,” you accuse and he griamces slightly.

“I just…needed to clear my head,” he says quietly. But the memories of the alcohol, the women the leaving so he doesn’t have to face the consequences comes to mind.

He sees the look in your eyes and he remembers that you can hear his thoughts. “I see,” you say in a broken voice as you cross your arms.

Immediately, he tries to make ammends. “No, bub, look—”

“Don’t you bub me,” you snap and he shuts up. You think you can just treat me like that? Fuck me and disappear without a word? You didn't even leave me a fucking note!”

And, God, you’re right. You’re so right. He left without even saying goodbye. You’re right, but he needs to make this okay. “No, listen to me—” he tries again.

You scoff and laugh humorlessly. “There’s nothing to listen to, Logan, because there's nothing you can say to make this better. I don't need any more of your bullshit. I'm done.”

And that’s it. His entire world crumbles then and there. He could swear he feels his heart stop, his lungs refuse to take another breath, his brain unable to process your words. Those two words hit him with enough force that he feels almost instantly sober. “What?” he asks, his voice trembling. He’s never heard his voice tremble before.

“I’m done. Fucking done.”

One of the kids shows up then and interrupts, but Logan is too far gone to care.

Done.

He lost you, just like he thought he would, and by trying to avoid that, he achieved it anyway.

He feels like he might throw up, like he might cry. He wants to break every window in the mansion and destroy every curtain and tear the furniture to pieces and yell and punch and kick and destroy until he’s too tired to do anything but lay there in his sorrow.

Instead, he just remains where he is, frozen, as you turn to take the kid back to bed.

And just before you leave the room, you glance back at him. And that’s the last straw.

He sees the pain in your eyes, the heartbreak. Where he once saw adoration and trust and care, he’s now seeing hate and pain and disappointment.

He was so scared of losing you, that in everything he did to avoid it happening, he only led to its realization.

---

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---

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mosabsdr · 2 hours ago

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💙 A Letter of Gratitude from Gaza

My name is Mosab, and I never thought I would be in this position—pleading for help, trying to survive in a world that has been turned upside down. I have lost 25 family members in the war. Their faces, their voices, their presence… everything about them is gone, except for the memories I hold onto so tightly.

Yet, even in the darkest times, you have given us hope. Thanks to so many kindhearted people, we have reached $3,300 in donations. I can’t even put into words what that means to us. It is more than money—it is warmth, food, and the belief that someone out there still sees us, still cares.

💔 The pain of losing 25 loved ones never fades. Their absence is a wound that never heals. 😢 We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Each day is a battle for survival.

Even a $5 donation could mean the difference between hunger and nourishment, sickness and health, despair and hope. And if you can’t donate, please reblog this post—that alone could be the reason someone finds us and helps.

Thank you, from the depths of my heart. Mosab & Family ❤️

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finniestoncrane · 1 day ago

Note

Hi finnie! Sorry to bother you but u was wondering if you could write something for young Justice Riddler from your list maybe 15 and 51? He is just a cutie! Sorry I don't send request a lot! (≡^∇^≡)

Young Justice!Riddler x Fem!Reader, word count: 719 oooooooh yes please!! these are perfect for him, get ready for some nervous first time eddie!! 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: virginity loss, reader has a vagina but no gendered terms are used, first time sex, nervous eddie

"You're ok with this, yeah?"

As you straddled Eddie's waist, it only then occurred to you that he hadn't replied as confidently as you would have liked when you asked him if he wanted you to be on top. Rather, he'd offered a nervous nod, a stammered 'yes' and then a sharp inhale that never seemed to come back out.

You'd shifted out from underneath his weak grip on your sides, then pushed him gently down onto the mattress, taking care to lift his glasses gently from his face and place them carefully next to the bed. He'd been so willing, so pliant, and you worried about whether he felt like he was just going through the motions.

"If it's not ok, Eddie, we can wait and try again some other time. I really don't-"

"No! No, no. Please, no. I want this to happen. I think I need this to happen. I just... I was nervous. I am nervous."

With a slight giggle, intended to be warming and reassuring rather than patronising, you sat up straight. As you moved, you brushed past his cock, twitching against your body as his eyes closed tight.

"Why are you so nervous?"

One of your hands rested on his abdomen, almost keeping him steady as he trembled with nerves. The other moved up his torso, fingers walking towards the tiny patch of hair on his chest before stopping to stroke it delicately. He couldn't help but smile as he made out the pattern your finger was moving it. A question mark, drawn over and over again as he spoke.

"I don't want to get it wrong."

"What do you think you're going to get wrong, Eddie? You're the Riddler. You don't get things wrong."

That little boost of confidence seemed to have done wonders for him as he reached his slightly quivering hands up and placed them on either side of your waist.

"I'm just worried about... I've not quite practised enough... bucking my hips. I wanted to get it perfect for the first time."

"Ah... did you receive bad feedback from someone else?"

He glanced to the side, lips pressed tightly shut. Somehow, everything fell into place, and you reached your hand to his cheek, stroking against his pointed sideburns and feeling the heat from the deep, red flush on his skin.

"Oh, Eddie. You mean your first time?"

Eddie nodded bashfully, his whole body seeming a shade pinker than it had moments ago. Your own body seemed warmer too, the idea that you were going to be important to Eddie, someone who was in turn so important to you, caused your heartbeat to rise steadily, your blood heating as you began to subconsciously grind your hips a little against him.

"Come here, you sweet little thing. You don't have to be embarrassed."

You helped him shift upright slightly, leaning into him and bringing his face to your bare chest, holding it close as you played with the longer hair at the nape of his neck.

"Of course not. This is actually a bit of a turn on."

"R-really?"

There was a hesitance in his voice, as though he couldn't quite believe that you might be telling the truth. But as you brought one hand from him and helped to position his head against your now desperate cunt, he realised he might have to take your word for it.

With only a smile and a subtle bite of your lip, you began to ease yourself back and forth on his cock, feeling it throbbing against your walls as he quickly tore his hands away from you and found the sheets, clutching them with whitening knuckles and reddening fingertips.

"Are you ok, Eddie? Is this pace good for you?"

He could only nod, he feared that opening his mouth might make him whine, and whining might make him lose control, and losing conrol meant that the tiny bit of restraint he had in him would snap and his quickly formed orgasm would be released.

No, he could hold out, just a little bit longer, if only to make sure he could take it for just a little bit longer the next time.

God, he hoped there would be a next time. Practice was the only way he would get better, after all.

#finnie writes #riddler #the riddler #riddler imagine #the riddler imagine #the riddler fanfic #riddler fanfic #riddler x reader #riddler x you #young justice riddler #young justice!riddler

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agenericplaceholdername · 2 days ago

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I agree the narrative frames Arin's decision to go off with Ras as far more negative than anything Lloyd is doing. That being said, I don't think the narrative lets Lloyd entirely off the hook. Ras accurately points out that "sending in one of the youngest ninja, and the only one without an elemental power, into enemy territory" is a bad idea -- and it's during this interaction that Ras is able to dramatically progress his plan to convince Arin to join him, so it's not like Ras is portrayed as wrong. Lloyd later shrugs off Arin's reveal that Wu admitted he caused the Merge, which isn't presented positively as well.

I do think you're right that the narrative could go further. Some decisions Lloyd makes are bad (e.g. never following up with Sora when she says she wants to talk about Arin). He also only puts a token amount of effort toward addressing Arin's sense of worthlessness (he repeatedly tells Lloyd he wants to have an elemental power, he says outright that he feels "useless") and Lloyd's only response is "every Ninja has a different path" and "you're never useless." These aren't harmful necessarily, but I don't think the show pretends these are sufficient and that Arin is in the wrong to not see them that way.

I also am pretty sure Lloyd never says the words, "We'll find your parents" to Arin on screen. (Sora does several times, but Arin blames Lloyd). That being said, Lloyd does send Arin and Sora on a mission whose sole intent is to find Arin's parents. Arin also (pre-S2P2 talk with Ras) states outright that "Lloyd promised we'd find my parents before" (S2, E15). I think it's supposed to be understood that Arin is not imagining some conversation here (notably, Sora, who is standing next to him, does not correct him).

My fundamental point about "decisions in the moment that seem right" is that yes, Lloyd says nice things when he goes to confort Arin. But these actions are all entirely reactive and only operate on the surface level. Lloyd's fundamental philosophy, as he learned from Wu, is to solve problems after they arise instead of preempting them. He's too busy trying to emulate a guy who constantly kept secrets that he's not focusing on how his inaction is hurting one of his students. Providing positive reinforcement only when Arin fails instead of making an active effort even to address Arin's underlying concerns is part of the issue here. I think I'm probably doing more work here to explain this than the story is, so maybe I'm missing the writers' intentions and misjudging where the story will go (and even if I'm right, the narrative could telegraph this better). But if this is the way the story goes, it means that the underlying wrong action is the entire way Lloyd teaches, so that each decision seems right yet there is still a problem and it's not the capriciousness of the universe.

As for wanting to be like Wu being a bad thing, I think the Phantasm Cave scene is probably the clearest evidence of this. As for specific decisions done wrong, I think that S1, E3 and S1, E11 are very clear in that Lloyd tried to emulate Wu and it only made things worse. S2 isn't as obvious -- minus the aforementioned scene that looks the viewer in the face and says "Lloyd is putting too much pressure on himself to be like Wu!!!"

You're right that Lloyd being the green ninja is the reason he's "there in the first place" in that he wouldn't have been a character in the show if he wasn't a ninja. But I guess I'm just confused as to your objection to his "main character energy" if, while the stuff he does is emphasized, so is everything Arin and Sora are doing? Yeah he's "the conduit" so there's a storyline around his visions in S2P1, but Arin's having a parallel story about his insecurity. Arin and Sora have more to do in S2P2 and arguably most of S1 as well. I guess his stuff is "cosmically important" or something but it's not narratively more important (also despite the cosmic importance of him getting back into the games after his fight with Zeatrix, he loses and it's up to Sora to win).

Maybe this is similar to Lloyd's S9 story, but I also think Lloyd's S9 story actually has a problem in that Lloyd claims that post-Harumi betrayal, he's no longer willing to look for the best in people (S8, E8). Yes, Lloyd loses his faith in himself after this (and also after losing to Garmadon and seemingly losing most of his friends), but at no point does he become more distrustful of others, which does seem like something that makes sense (S11 sorta goes into this w/ Akita). DR's story makes more sense in that Lloyd's only pressure is self-imposed because it's not coming after a betrayal or anything but after he was left alone, not knowing if anyone he knew (minus Kai) was even alive, for years. That level of mental strain probably wasn't great for him. Meanwhile, while Lloyd learns to rally the people, that plot line ends 3 episodes into Hunted, while DR is continuing the Master Lloyd stuff. Basically - it's okay to do a similar story without retreading all the ground (no Garmadon) if you execute it differently and focus on different things.

I think the dream scenario would probably need...

^ I agree with everything in this paragraph.

I agree Kai helps contribute to more positive character growth in Wyldfyre than Lloyd does with Arin, and his effect on Sora is more indirect. That being said, while Kai might be good at imparting character building lessons, that doesn't make him better at teaching things like Spinjitzu (one of the key reasons Arin lost trust in Lloyd).

Maybe Lloyd just shouldn't be a master.

He's clearly not very good at it. He's been trying it since season 5, and his first real students both take FOREVER to make any progress. Sora takes a whole season to unlock her powers, but apparently isn't taught spinjitzu in any of that time- the literal first thing we see taught to any of our characters in the original show. Arin somehow makes backwards progress with Lloyd, and then after doing like three poses with his friend seems to get it instantly.

Like... seems like he's just not very good at teaching. Maybe he should hand the position over to Kai, he's got a natural knack for it, a lot more experience, and a much higher success rate as far as I'm concerned. Master Kai for the win.

#quite a bit riding on S3 imo #unlike S2 which was building off a largely complete story from S1 #we'll just have see about follow through #always a good time chatting about this stuff #<- cordial discussions about children's media are what the internet was made for #ninjago dragons rising

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really-sheety-ghost · 2 years ago

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Dropping my phone and shattering the screen 4 days before I'm out of town for a week was not on my 2023 bingo sheet, but here we are. 🙃

#I am trying to be positive about everything.#I'm just NOT a tech girly. And its working fine but I don't want to be in a situation where it stops working when I'm traveling ya know?#My spouse is like: Look at it this way your current phone is garbage. now you get to travel with a new phone that is reliable and better.

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dreamsy990 · 11 months ago

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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

#doodles #kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #olette #aromantic #asexual #aroace #do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel #ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you #also not tagging soriku and namixi #i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so #anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette #i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette #so let me clarify about this comic #im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before #im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts #thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes #im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while #anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive #sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow #this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled #drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024 #btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately #schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time #i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times #alright i think thats it bye now

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morgansmornings · 21 hours ago

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“It means the hobby of exploring caves. Or as I used it, to try and go running off the edge of the rooftop without any ropes or tethers to keep you from an unfortunate sudden stop after a long drop. And if ‘witch’ is too negative for you, you can just call me by my name.” Was it a bit petty and snide in tone, maybe. But that was more so for the comment about black magic and witchcraft.

“There are many things that have changed since your time. 250 years has altered society to a point that you would not recognise it as such. And that I understand. But in order for me to do what I must, you have to be complicit and willing to accept these things as they are.” She meant no offence. But given his station she thought that Ben would rather have the brutal facts and truth over more lies and deceit. A Spy Master he may have been, but it was clear to her that she was far more in depth a student in things pertaining to the supernatural. Besides, when all was said and done, he wasn’t going to remember his time here as it was. Not if she had a say about it. She knew better than to go tampering with alterations to time and reality. Sneaky and unforgiving as they were.

“Look, I know that this is a lot. I know you have very little reason to trust me. But I have to ask you to give me that trust and the faith that I can take you back to where you belong. To the time you belong to. But I first have to finish translating that scroll in hopes to find that solution.” She folded her hand on the arm rest of the couch, leaning back and taking a calming breath herself. While she could hold his hand and walk him through every little step that has had a dramatic change, there was no telling how long it would be nor how resistant to her attempts would be.

“Things can always get worse when it comes to those who mess or make light of dealing with Temporal Magicks.” Jayden said, glazing to his left to gaze out over the golden glow of the surrounding city. “Some believe in Chaos Theories such as what they call “The Butterfly Effect.” How that one small change in events can lead to catastrophic events hundreds of miles away.”

This was quickly coming back to her own worries and fear of when she had first encountered the Major standing in her loft. The nagging fear that things would change so drastically and that no one would remember it because history would have been fundamentally changed.

“I will be happy to explain anything you want me to if I can. But understand the position that we are both in. You are out of place and I am the reason why. I can’t have anything happening to you here because then everything I know will change and there is no way of telling how bad and dangerous that could be.” Jayden looked to him, both in worry and with a kindness in her features that would hopefully tell him she was just as scared as he was.

“I am trying to help you, but you have to be willing to listen to me and help me in exchange. My life depends on your survival and I am going to do everything I can to make sure that you are safe and returned.”

"You mean, things could actually be worse?" Benjamin asked, unable to keep from making a face. "With all due respect, madam, this land no longer feels like the colonies...it is far too coarse and ill-refined."

And that didn't even account for all the bloody inventions that he had yet to fully understand.

When Jayden started signing at her dog -- because why not? Of bloody course animals and people could talk in this century -- Benjamin forced himself to remain calm before he followed after her, his pulse still drumming erratically as he kept in step with her tread.

As she spoke, he winced. "Must you be called a witch?" he wearily asked. "The implications there aren't exactly flattering, and I would prefer to believe that you do not, in fact, intend to eat my intestines, nor perform some sort of black magic upon my soul."

Jayden ignored the remark -- perhaps it had been rather uncouth -- and showed him outside.

All at once, Benjamin's mouth dropped and he took in the scenery, wide-eyed and slack-jawed as he struggled to process the greenery. They were not in a forest, and yet it felt as though he were surrounded by lush wildlife.

“We are three stories up from the ground," Jayden explained. "As long as you don’t plan on going spelunking over the side of the building you will be safe up here.”

Benjamin's brow furrowed. "Speh...lunking?" he echoed, testing the sound with a scrunched nose. "I'm afraid that even my studies in Latin are failing me on the etymology here... What could that possibly even mean? It sounds like sheer nonsense."

As did everything else in this situation.

With a frustrated sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, then slowly counted to ten before exhaling, long and slow. "Although the architecture here is quite impressive," he treaded, "I'm uncertain of how enjoyable it would be to live so far removed from the rest of the world." Here, he turned back toward the horrifying sights of the street below. "Where are your neighbors? Do your people not believe in daily visits, nor meeting for a drink?"

#honorhearted #v: Can't Tell if This is True or a Dream #Thread: Once Upon a Dream #You'll Fire Your Musket but I'll Run You Through | Major Tallmadge #TBD | Ben x Jay #Ben is going to go grey before he returns to his time at this rate. Lol!

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iamespecter · 5 months ago

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What in the ever loving fuck is going on with this PC

#ziku's insane rambles #i'm concerned #I am trying so goddamn hard to be positive about everything but EVERYTHING KEEPS FALLING APART

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letmereadinpeace4 · 2 days ago

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The thing with Octavia is that I am sympathetic to her. She is in difficult circumstances, especially now, and it is completely understandable for her to be frustrated, sad, and to question her position in her father's life, especially since she is seventeen and very sheltered. It is unrealistic for her to display perfect emotional control or knowledge about the dynamics of abuse, let alone the political and social pressures internal to the Goetia family. I have no problem with her being angry, confused and lashing out.

What I do have a problem with, however, is that she seems utterly oblivious to the world around her and satisfied to remain so, and I just cannot figure out whether this is a deliberate character flaw or a writing issue.

I am saying this as someone who grew up in a household with an emotionally explosive and unstable person (although nowhere near as bad as Stella), there is no house big enough for the pressure they create to be unnoticeable. At seventeen, Octavia should have long ago noticed that something wasn't right with her mom, and even if she didn't get everything, that her dad was at the very least sad because of it. Yes, you internalize a lot of this shit when you grow up around it. Yes, it's super hard to use the word "abusive", and it's tempting to temper it with expressions like "she's difficult" or "she's complicated" or "she has issues with controlling her anger", but you cannot be oblivious to it, no matter how much the other parent tries to protect you from it.

Stolas is often accused of not telling his daughter about the reality of Stella's abuse, and while there is some truth to it (I think it's a bit more complicated than that but it's not the point), it is worth noticing that Octavia isn't exactly begging for answers either. At her age, a simple critical look at her childhood and a few pointed questions should give her at least a vague idea of where her father was coming from. The reality behind the trial is not difficult to guess just from context clues and the TV recording. She had her father by her side for months between the beginning of his affair with Blitz and the trial. Did she never go to him with questions ? In Loo Loo Land, when Stolas tries (and fails) to explain his decision, Octavia seems less interested in having answers than in whether Stolas will leave her or not.

Many have noted that Octavia has her earphones on whenever Stella is verbally abusing Stolas. This is of course a handy way of keeping her ignorant for plot reasons, but on a character level, this also suggests that she ignores the world around her at her own detriment, even when she really should be paying attention.

With all these elements taken into account, it kind of feels like Octavia is choosing to victimize herself (and don't get me wrong, she is a victim in this situation) and keep herself passive in favor of trying to understand and take an active role in her situation and in maintaining the relationship with her father. In Seeing Stars, all she had to do was insist and specifically mention the stars and Stolas would have dropped everything to keep his promise (hell, he probably would have felt so guilty for not remembering that he would have gone out of his way to make this a great day for her). After the trial, she could have sneaked out (as she does easily enough eventually) to Blitz's office to see her dad. And that's not going into all the points that OP has mentioned previously, where she doesn't listen to her dad or hear what he has to say.

This is not an Octavia hate-post by the way. She is in a tough spot and it is a situation that would be difficult to navigate for an emotionally mature adult, let alone a sheltered seventeen-year-old. I have compassion for her and Stolas did make mistakes in his approach of her. But she is far from being a faultless victim and as painful as it will be for her, she needs to grow up.

The Octavia Dilemma (Vent/Rant Post)

TW: Divorce

I want to make it abundantly clear that this post is about myself and my feelings on Via. This does not reflect the greater fandom or all Stolas Stans.

This is a reflection of my feelings and my feelings alone. Do not utilize this post to generalize all Stolas Stans since many of them are going to agree with about 60% of my post and I'm fine with that.

Moving on,

Hello everyone! It is I, Amalthea, the Ultimate Stolas Kinnie and Stan, reporting to you live on a topic I was initially going to not talk about, but became more compelled to talk about since well- I didn't want to talk about Stella. (I'd rather not lol)

When it comes to Octavia and her rejecting Stolas I have very, very mixed feelings on the topic. While many of you may think she was right or wrong, I'm going to give you the perspective from a person who lived this stuff during my preteens.

I won't go into details, but my parental unit picked another person over my family. Parent A decided to pick Person C over Parent B and that will never not mess me up till this day.

When Parent A left, I was alone without the only thing I wanted, closure. I didn't understand why I was abandoned. I didn't understand how Parent A just thought I didn't matter anymore.

Parent B had to struggle and I just had to- watch morbidly as my world fell apart.

One of the things I absolutely can't agree with Octavia doing is walking away from Stolas when he came back to her.

She has this entire speech, victimizing herself solely(not faulting her for it, just stating it), and not asking the question why and that is where I will say the Hellaverse team failed. Kids of divorce always ask the question why. We seek a reason and yet Octavia just makes baseless accusations at Stolas that hold no water.

I mean your father, the man who has stood by your side, and loved on you for ages suddenly has an affair with a strange imp from his past and you don't even- think to ask why? Or let him explain?

Octavia willingly parentified herself to cope, which again as someone who is parentified, that makes no sense to me. Parentification happens when no one is around to help you or support you, but Octavia had her dad right fucking there. She rejected him, and seemingly can't understand he's depressed???

Again, I am speaking for myself, but this entire rant of hers makes no sense to me. She's seen him light up around Blitz, be more open (maybe to open), and be happier, but doesn't acknowledge it???

My issue, a reminder I am talking about myself , with Octavia is she makes everything solely about herself and asks no important questions about her father. I know she is a rich girl, but she is shown to be empathetic and kind overall, so it feels out of character she doesn't even- try to understand. Even if it's hard.

When Parent A came back into my life I begged for a reason why. Why the hell did you leave!? What did Person C have that I didn't!? Why did you raise their child you didn't birth but not me!? What did I do wrong!? What was so bad you left!?

None of these questions were asked, Octavia goes straight to making accusations which makes no sense. The fact she expected Blitz to die??? Like Loona wasn't going to be fatherless??? Like she's 17. Via is a bright and smart girl. Did she really look down on Blitz that much??? (genuine question, not tryna be a smart ass)

Octavia: You lied to me.

Stolas: What?

Octavia: *pushes Stolas away* You lied to me! You said you would never leave me! You promised!

Stolas: Via. I-I didn't leave you I-I- I would never, it wasn't my choice.

Octavia: It was your choice. You chose HIM!

I also think this whole scene is why Stolas made the choice he made. While he had an inclination he could die- he knew his privilege could possibly save him. It's why he was a bit confused and not sure of what was going to happen.

He was hanging onto the hope he'd not die. Afterwards the reality sets in as to what he had just done and what he truly lost. Stolas took a risk on a hunch.

The man had no choice. As a father, as a person, as a soulmate, he was in an impossible situation where he had to use his privilege. He had no other option or Loona would be fatherless.

Stolas: Via, no! I didn't I just- I had to. You don't understand.

Octavia: *clenches fist as magic forms* I do understand! I understand that we were never enough for you! You never loved mother, and you don't love me, you love him. *holds up happy pills* And you needed THESE! Was this my fault that you needed these?

Stolas: No! No, never Via! *grabs Octavia's hands* Sweetie, please. You have always been the only good thing in my life!

Octavia: So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me? *tearing up* Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn't even hesitate when you got a chance to leave?

This next part always pisses me off because Via's expectation of her father are so high. That he cannot have autonomy outside of their family. She is so attached at the hip to him that anytime he deviates from loving her entirely it is a slight against her.

Also the obligation part of that statement boils my blood, because girl- you don't even know what it is like to have your parent look at you and tell you to your face "you're just a responsibility to me". Because I lived that shit. I lived knowing Parent A didn't want me because I was just to much.

Stolas stayed and loved on this girl. He gave her the whole universe and more and somehow that isn't enough.

Of course I sympathize with the sentiment, but nothing in Stolas's behavior nor him being with Blitz suggests she was ever solely an obligation to him.

If Stolas truly viewed her as a responsibility he wouldn't show any concern for her. Parent A in my life acted distant and emotionally withdrawn. They didn't take care of me anymore, acting like a ghost of their former self. They took care of my most basiepc and fundamental needs while Octavia is borderline spoiled and-

FUCK why couldn't I have that!? She sits there and complains but her parent came back for her?! She had a chance at closure and denied it! What kid of divorce does that!? What person does that?!

I know I shouldn't have this much turmoil over this. I really shouldn't. If anything I should be sympathizing with her entirely. Theoretically I should hate Stolas, but I can't because I know what it's like to be guilted for choosing yourself! I know what it's like to be forced to feel bad for being depressed! It's why I love Stolas so much and understand him completely.

But when it comes to Via, the character who borderline mimics my trauma I just- can't fully empathize. I can rationalize her thinking and- understand where it may stem from, but it still leaves me aggravated and unsatisfied.

While I may be ranting and rambling at this point- I may just be projecting and it's why I said to not take this post as something to generalize the collective- but I am thoroughly dissatisfied with Octavia's writing.

So much of it tries to mimic divorce related trauma, but none of what she has been through would initiate such a response.

She hasn't been abandoned, her father is right there.

She isn't an obligation, all of her needs are met and she gets all she wants along with a nurturing environement.

She was enough for her father, he came back for her. If she wasn't enough he'd never come back.

All of the claims she makes are easily debunked with rational thinking and do not make sense when you have lived through divorce yourself. Again, I can be projecting, but FUCK I needed to vent about this.

It just feels like such a fickle iteration of what real divorce looks like for us.

Ask Box is Open ofc.

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