#I am the universe strongest soldier but this is just torture

[loveisnotfinite]

[wiihtigo]

6 and 7 for casey and also 20 :)c

Ask game

6. What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?

True to her rotten soul, she was summoned to the plot in vp by discourse and disorder in the family. She comes around during a point when Michelle is starting to get sudden positive public attention as goldstar, and since boosters been mostly out of public eye since starting to be the silent protector of the time stream, she’s treated as something of a big new breakout sensation (they’re bored as fuck in metropolis)

Michelle is dealing with some inner turmoil and fighting with booster which she’s been keeping under wraps cuz she’s gods strongest soldier but she sees the attention on goldstar as a way to break away from it all and gain some independence and also as a sort of petty bite back at her brother who is being very annoying at the moment warning her about the dangers of stardom. As if he’s so smart. DIE. She starts spending more time as goldstar the superhero and less as goldstar the time master and is fighting a lot with booster, so she starts looking for her own place and wants to start at university and do all these things for herself (we’re so proud of her. I mean I am. FUCK BOOSTER GOLD) and CUE….. CASEY WILKES

Michelle is enrolled in uni, but she’s still living in the time lab and her brother is driving her fckn crazy every time she’s home. And she’s having trouble adjusting to sxhool life (I imagined she didn’t attend college like booster did, and just kept working out of highschool all the way up till she was dragged into the past) And as if drawn magnetically towards someone else who wants to kill MJ Carter, she and Casey have a chance encounter at a cafe near school and they chat a little. Casey tells Michelle she goes to the university near here too. That’s crazy. We have so much in common! Eventually while talking it turns to venting cuz Michelle was looking a little miserable before they started talking and she accidentally lets boosters name slip in convo. And Casey’s like 🙂 oh thats 🙂 that’s an interesting name. And btw you look. A little familiar? [MR KRAAAAABS I HAVE AN IDEAAAAAA] so from then Casey latches onto her like a leech and eventually gets the confirmation this was destiny and I can’t believe this is BOOSTER GOLDS (I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD) TWIN SISTER. AND SHES MAD AT HIM? THIS IS PERFECT

And then.. well that’s more middle of the story stuff. And this was asking about her introduction! (Her relationship with Michelle is interesting to me because aside from the friendship betrayal stuff it’s a rare case of her being weirdly friendly- at least by her standards)

7. What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?

This is something Marty and I entertain ourselves with a lot actually wondering what fandom perception of Casey and nell would be… in a series bible id include things like… she’s genuinely not insecure. Like at all. Her attitude isn’t masking a tortured soul inside she’s just like that, she’s selfish and thoughtless and delusional. Her childhood was objectively difficult but she really has no complaints about the way she was raised or with her mother. She has her problems sure but they’re in other areas.. you’re looking in the wrong place! She also doesn’t really get .. sad? Often or at all? She’s more likely to feel anger than sadness. And also o feel it’s important to realize how monumentally difficult it is to form a relationship with her IF THATS SOMETHING YOU WANTED FOR SOME REASON. Literallt every relationship she has has been based on her thinking she could manipulate the other for something and then it either morphed into Ok I don’t hate seeing you even without anything to gain or morphed into attempted homicide. The illusion of free choice

20. Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?

Oh god. Not Casey. All my ocs are kind of annoying in some way.

Maybe Cain cuz he’s a normal polite boy. I’d ask him to show me his pop two extra arms out of his ribs trick and then id go ewwww lol and ask him to leave

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.32-33: The Torture Continues - A Commentary

-i like how we know these people so well and they know each other so well that they take cues from each other. like, if even mikasa wants to stop eren, then how can anyone else think otherwise, you know?

-FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT, FUCKING THANK YOU HANGE, "GENOCIDE IS WRONG" IT'S THAT SIMPLE SOMEONE SAID IT, THE REAL MVP AS ALWAYS. finally someone with common sense and resolve, someone not speaking in ifs and buts, finally, HANGE FINALLY!

-this is such a random group of allies i love it, it makes me smile

-i feel so safe with hange, a voice of logic, oh my god.

-listen, i'm not even joking, eren's VERY CONSPICUOUS ABSENCE makes me so much less emotionally unstable that i can actually enjoy these conversations, like i'm happy to be here again

-i'm sorry, i know it's a tense moment, but lmao at levi's zzz panel

-part of me thinks that if we just don't see eren again, if we just randomly hear that he was stopped, i'll be fine. it would be terrible storytelling ofc but it hurts so much seeing eren like that, seeing his face and have him say and do these things

-what the fuck are you talking about, jean? armin has been saying that everyone should talk it over with everyone a hundred times over.

-WHEN DID LEVI BECOME THE TENSION RELIEF IN THIS GODDAMN MANGA OH MY GOD 

-jean's 'i can't forgive you' to reiner while they're still allied for their goal, i love this.

-the panels of levi sleeping with the zzz i cannot

-no offense, is armin going to do any impressive thinking post-time skip or...

-it's nice how everyone apologizes to everyone (before rocks fall and everyone dies courtesy of eren, lol. lol?)

-armin and connie acting their little hearts out to the yeagerists, bless

-MISS KIYOMI GOING IN FOR THE KILL!

-aww seeing armor titan and female titan fight together

-this is the second time connie's saving armin's ass

-i am actually happy to be reading this now that eren isn't hurting us by showing his face. like, if you put aside for a sec WHY this is happening... it's very  exciting to see what comes next

-does sensei want to kill everyone here on the port, bc he's taken out the colossus titan, he's taken out humanity's strongest soldier...

-ooooh falco's jaw titan looks different than galliard's!

-i don't want y'all to fight anymore either, annie, and not with eren either, what are we gonna do :'(

-oh no. oh no is this eren pov? am i about to get unhinged again? oh no. go back to your conspicuous absence, devil child, why do you hurt me so. i miss you. but you make me suffer.

-the fuck? ZEKE tells EREN there's no ingrained behavior to the ackermans?! so then...

-i hate this. i understand that it's all to protect them, but i hate this, eren. baby they can't live happy lives. WHY DID YOU SHOW YOU FACE, I WAS DOING FINE, I WAS HAVING FUN, YOU'RE IMBALANCING MY HOMEOSTASIS

-eren's new form, huh. god this makes me so sad

-'but i just can't accept an end like that' lmao me reading this manga

-eren please THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN, THERE MUST BE

-okay clearly i should stop hoping right here, there's no redemption from this. there's no redemption when we're shown innocent deaths at eren's will. okay. this is it then

-see, armin is a person also disappointed with the outside world that DIDN'T choose genocide, wow shocker, right eren?

-MIKASA'S FACE WHEN SHE SEES ANNIE WATCHING ARMIN

-levi i love you. stay safe

-what did mikasa want, armin to run after annie and kiss her or sth? mikasa you're projecting

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IS FLOCH UNKILLABLE WHAT 

-like, in what universe did eren think the gang would NOT be in danger, that there wouldn’t be a good possibility that his own titans would trample his own people

-heh. armin the 15th commander :)

-OH SHUT UP "dedicate your heart" OH SHUT UP LEVI SHUT UP HANGE SHUT UP

-shine, my love. shine, hange. goodbye.

-"goodbye. hange. just watch us." who decided to give levi all the poignant lines, who. THEY HIT THE HARDEST BC IT'S LEVI!

-is there. is there an actual possibility that eren just... kills them all? surely not?

-NO! NO! AFTERLIFE SCENE?!?! I DID NOT EXPECT THIS FROM ATTACK ON TITAN, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! ERWIN!! AND THEY'RE ALL WATCHING! THEY'RE ALL WATCHING!!

-a little quick it was, hange's death scene, but they did get the afterlife scene, so i won't dwell.

-oh! commander armin actually lets us in on the plan beforehand! that's unusual for stories! that probably means it'll all go to shit

-this is exactly what the founding titan looks like, but why does it look so funny in armin's drawing

-man, i want to give mikasa such a big hug. her face.

-the thing is. armin especially, and everyone, are trying to analyze eren's mindset, like 'maybe he's testing us' or whatever, and every time we SEE eren it's actually a simple "RAWR DEATH!"

-humanizing eren through reiner because we actually HAVE humanized reiner through endless chapters. that's interesting

-WE HAVE BEEN SUMMONED! ALL HAIL EREN! ALL SHALL LOVE/NOT-LOVE HIM AND DESPAIR. i don't want to see what happens, i'm sure it'll be nothing good :')

-mikasa's plea is the best. share the sins that they're all guilty of

-ah, what wouldn't i give for a simple ass-kicking from levi to eren

-eren will fight us? :’(((. i can't believe that. i know i said i'd renounce all hope, but i am so sad. i am so sad. mikasa what do we do? whatever you say, i'll follow your lead

-the plot armor is strong on the marleyan cast's families

-yes, cool, everyone wants world peace two seconds before they die

-all due respect, i don't see how the 104th can do anything about this now that the power of friendship failed

-'We'll use all our (seven) forces to destroy him!" rocks fall everyone dies - in the literal sense.

-WHY ARE YOU YELLING EREN'S NAME AS YOU FALL ARMIN WHY ARE YOU BREAKING MY HEART WHY DO YOU KEEP REMINDING ME WHO EREN IS (or was, or should be) WHY HAVE MERCY

-eren be like, feel free to fight on my skeleton back y’all

-JESUS WITH THE SCHOOL CASTES ALREADY, YOU'RE TOYING WITH MY FEELINGS

[14muffinz]

I'm calling this never forget, but the basic premise is that the og rise bros are dumped into the countdown timeline around halfway through everything, and Donnie is captured by the Boss, but that's not the main focus of this rn.

tws: // (nothing very graphic) electrocution, torture, memory loss, brainwashing, de-realism,

Unreliable narrator, but instead of it being the narrator its just Countdown!Leo's messed up memories and how he perceives them.

Also, I am very aware I am the only one currently interested in this au, but here I am posting this anyways.

~~~

Orange was asleep, finally.

He’d passed out at the kitchen counter, the position barely believable if not for the fact they’d found Donnie similarly situated after late nights in his lab.

Now that he was out, the brothers could finally get some answers about the world they’d been dragged into, the ones that Orange was keeping from them for seemingly no reason.

Exhibit A: Lee.

In the short time they’d been in the lab, Lee had just been… off. Maybe it was because he was older, smarter, or wore different clothes to Leo, but there was just something about him that rubbed the three brothers the wrong way.

That was how they found themselves sneaking into what was essentially their own lair at 2 in the afternoon, an outrageous time for semi-nocturnal turtles like themselves, just to see if Lee was awake.

Raph tentatively placed a knuckle on the lab’s buzzer, and waited patiently until the door opened.

“Hi!” Lee greeted cheerily, lowering his headphones and not looking back as he closed whatever he’d been looking at on his monitors. “Didn't think you’d be back so soon!”

Those weird… tube things were laying over the back of his chair again, and the not knowing part made all three brothers feel uneasy about it.

Leo rang his hands nervously. “Uhh, it’s been two days, man.”

Lee blinked at him, his eyes not showing any comprehension.

“You good?” Mikey questioned.

Lee shook himself rapidly and chuckled. “Nah, sorry, sorry, was confusing you with Purple.”

“Purple?”

“Yeah! My lab partner!”

He gestured towards the empty chair before blinking. “Oh. Right. He left. A… bit ago. Anyways. What's up?”

“We want to know what the circumstances of this universe are and how they are different from ours,” Leo said without hesitation. 

Lee blinked in surprise before spinning his chair back to face his monitors. “Well, for starters, you’re alive.”

They all froze.

“Excuse me?” Leo squeaked.

Lee began typing something into his computer, not bothering to turn around and face their stunned gazes. “Yeah. Leo and Raph Hamato, 77 told me that One killed them a few days before I came back here with Four.”

This was followed by a tense silence that Lee seemed not to notice. 

“Who’s Four?” Leo finally managed.

“Four, or Hamato Mikey. He likes Orange better, you’ve met him.”

“And 77?” Leo followed up.

“Guard 77,” Lee responded, still eerily casual, “we’re pals.”

“One?” Mikey asked, the question coming out almost as a statement.

“Asset One, like I’m asset Three and Mikey became asset Four. He’s the strongest of us.”

He– no.

“Ah! Here it is! This is some footage of Leo a few days before he kicked it.”

The brothers couldn't recover before he hit play.

There was Lee, looking less clothed and a lot more scared, his shell leaning against the harsh wall of a metal cage. In the one open side, with bars of course, stood a cold looking human in a crisp suit. 

“We’re going to get you back, Three. You may fulfil your purpose, become the soldier you were meant to be.”

“Go to hell.”

The man didn't react, not even giving the classic villain laugh. “Or you can end up like Raph.”

“What?” Lee asked on screen, in unison with Leo in real time.

“Oh, yes, asset One got to him before we did. Wouldn't want that happening again, would we?”

Lee laughed. “I know Raph’s One, what are you trying to pull?”

“This.”

There was a sizzle, and suddenly the chains that were clamped around on-screen Lee’s wrists lit up. 

The video cut as Lee screamed.

Lol im in class and i just wrote a countdown au drabble

literally nobody cares about this au

I may oost it amyways

[sildarmillionsays]

One True Ace Pairing: Captain America

I'm definitely not talking about the canon pairings of Steve Rogers with Peggy Carter or Sharon Carter. I am talking about Stucky.  (And this is specific to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and spoiler warning through Phase 3.)

In my One True Ace Pairing series, I've been basically covering pairings that I've liked who are not necessarily canonical pairings or even romantic pairings. I call them "ace pairings" whatever that means. I just mean they appeal to my ace sensibilities. These are pairs whose relationship is defined by their companionship, partnership, love, and devotion, and not their sexual chemistry.

I will offer my usual disclaimer that the characters I discuss may not themselves be asexual. I am simply labeling the relationship as an ace pairing.

There is no reason to believe that either Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes are asexual. There is no reason to believe that they are anything other than heterosexual men. Or is there?

After all, they grew up pre WWII in an era where neither of them probably even knew there was an option other than being heterosexual. In my post in this series about The Imitation Game, I talked about the interview with Joan Murray who explained that even the homosexual men courted and married women because they considered it their duty. Marriage was for practical reasons, not for love. So while Steve and Bucky used to bro out about girls back in the 1940s, did they even know there were other options?

Don't worry, I'm not trying to suggest that these two were secretly in love, or even subconsciously in love. But these two share one of the strongest bonds in the MCU. They were devoted best friends who would die for each other pre-super soldier days. And then Steve gets frozen in ice for 70 years and Bucky gets brainwashed and tortured and turned into the Winter Soldier. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, we see just how much Bucky had meant to Steve, because Steve would rather defy orders than take out his once best friend. He was determined to rescue Bucky Barnes. It's one of the most beautiful depictions of friendship.

Later on, we see them reminiscing about their old girls and joking about how they are 90 year old dudes now. Steve and Bucky are two men out of time in a world that probably doesn't make a whole of sense to them, and they are each other's only link to the lives they were forced out of. That in and of itself creates a deep connection even if there wasn't one before.

And that's why I ship Stucky.

I know a lot of folks are bothered by the idea of Captain America and the Winter Soldier boning. 0_0 Well, idk, why does shipping have to mean that they're boning? There are shippers who want them to be an allosexual homosexual couple, but people can want what they want. Why don't we just focus on the canon?

What we do see in canon is that neither Steve Rogers nor Bucky Barnes are particularly sexual beings. Bucky has so far had no love interest, and Steve has had two. Well, does Sharon Carter even count? Perhaps they tried to force that in because it's there in the comics and then they must have realized it was never going to work. Besides, she's Peggy's great-niece (?) ... ew!

Then there's Peggy Carter herself, a total badass. Steve and Peggy loved each other, but it was a sweet innocent kind of love. They didn't have very much time together and they didn't get a chance to get to know each other well, or form a strong bond. Personally, I didn't even think they had that much chemistry. Peggy has better chemistry and a more developed arc with Daniel Sousa in the short-lived Agent Carter series.

Of course, Steve and Peggy get to have their life together in an alternate timeline, and hopefully that was a good life together. We don't know how their relationship turned out because we don't have too much to go on from their brief time together during WWII. Steve was certainly happy to be able to get a life with Peggy. But I think it was because he loved the idea of Peggy. His (probably) first love must have been special. And in his heart, he was really a 1940s man who wanted a 1940s life.

His most meaningful relationship in the MCU was not with Peggy Carter, but with Bucky Barnes. His second most meaningful relationship was with the third corner of the bromance-triangle: Sam Wilson (also a great pair). His third most meaningful relationship is with Natasha Romanoff. You get the picture. Peggy was an ideal and a symbol of what he lost and what he badly wanted to get back, but she was not his most meaningful relationship in the MCU.

So his arc ends with him getting what he wanted most. Bucky didn't seem as stuck in the past, so Bucky is going to go off and have adventures with Sam (another great pairing).

I really don't care about the sexual orientation of these guys. I just love watching them together. If Marvel decides to explore their sexuality, then power to them. As long the relationships continue to be interesting and meaningful, that's all I care about.

Crossposted to WordPress

[darrowsrising]

Atlas au Raa uses psychological warfare to wear down the enemy, much like vlad the impaler. is this warfare effective? I guess you're not a military expert, but opinions don't hurt

Thank you for the ask! Indeed, I am no expert, but thank you for trusting that I will give some pertinent opinions.

Yes, it is true that Vlad Țepeș used phychological warfare on his enemies, which consisted predominantly in scare tactics. He used violence and gore to impose his will on the boyars and made himself a bloodthirsty monster in the eyes of his external enemies, because he was outnumbered. The Ottoman Empire brought Europe to its knees (ask the stupid crusaders, they got their arses handed to them every damn time) and they had real problems with a little country called Wallachia (south of the Carpathian Arc and north of the Danube).

But Pierce Brown doesn't just take Vlad the Impaler and makes him into Atlas au Raa. No, he takes one, maxium two things from him to build his character into someone original, unique.

First of all, Vlad was grand voivode (think of it as protector of the realm/commander in chief) and domn (comes from dominus, it is a royal rank original to romanians; it can be very loosely translated to duke) of Wallachia and he protected it from the Ottoman invaders. During his childhood, his father bowed to the Sultan and eventually sold Vlad and his brother Radu to the Empire. Vlad was sent to be a jannissery, they are soldiers trained to serve the Empire, but they are of all nationalities - they are stolen boys from all the conquered or vassal countries. This is where Vlad learnt his tactics.

Vlad eventually escaped and returned to Wallachia to get his throne. As voivode he established order, because boyars maltreating peasantry and other such conflicts weakened the country. So he forced the boyars to obey. But he also had a thing against rapists and thieves, he used to burn them alive - he gathered them all at feasts and while they drank and sang, he set the building ablaze. He was deposed of his throne a few times, he ruled on and off for 4 times, but it is said that during his time, in the capital, he left a gold goblet in the main market and no one touched it.

But on the military side, Vlad knew how to break the Ottoman armies. Unlike Atlas who only kills Martians, Vlad killed Ottoman soldiers of all nations, including his own (his predecessors and him too were forced to pay tribute in gold and children). Also, Vlad painted himself a monster, just like Darrow did to conquer Apollo's Keep or when he went to take down Pliny. Vlad's purpose was to make the Empire leave Wallachia alone once and for all. But his only viable weapon against them was fear. He made them fear him so that they would leave his courntry alone.

Example 1: Vlad went to pay tribute to a Pasha empowered by the Sultan (a noble in the Ottoman Empire), they were to meet at Giurgiu Keep near the Danube River. They did meet, but their demands made Vlad kill the Pasha and his court and his son, then arrange the most important heads on the spikes on the gate.

Example 2: When Mehmed II grew some balls and moved his arse to Wallachia to deal with Vlad, they reached the capital. At night, Vlad dressed his army in Ottoman clothes, they attacked and set fire to Mehmed's camp and he almost killed him, but fate is merciful with the undeserving. It was a massacre, sufficient to say.

Example 3: His preffered method of torture/killing was impalement. He left legions of Ottoman soldiers impaled, so that when they were found, they would know and be horrified and scared to death of him.

The fear and hatred he provoked into people made him untrustworthy, and he was only human. The boyars betrayed him, as did his allies (fuck the Order of the Dragon and fuck Radu the Handsome). And he remained vulnerable to his enemies. He did live to almost his late 40's if I am not mistaken, though.

But Vlad was only considered a monster, he was not truly a monster. He just wanted to protect his people from both insiders and outsiders. The boyars weren't some saints under a merciless tyrant. They were exploiting and persecuting the peasantry (they were the first called when the country was at war) and Vlad sided with them in most matters, especially economical. As for the Ottomans, they wanted to conquer Wallachia, that explains enough.

Other phychological tactics he had was to poison the waters, salt the earth and scorch forests. With no food and water, the soldiers don't resist much, they either turn back or are easy preys.

I think that scare tactics work, nothing quite like horror to make an impression. But it can alienate you from humanity. Fear alone cannot hold, because it births hatred and when you fall there is no one to catch you.

But, finally back to Atlas au Raa:

He raised scare tactics to the rank of art.

He is only a leader to his squad and he onky serves his Sovereign

Vlad's second wife was Ilona, a hungarian lady and as you have probably seen in a lot of movies, she was his grand love. That is quite true.

His modus operandi is similar to Vlad's. And they shate the moniker.

He alienated himself both in the Core Society that never even liked him much, and from humanity in general.

He is a very convincing liar or he hides his secrets very well, because he acvepts Atalantia as his superior, but fights bhind the scenes with her.

His tactics are useful, because he is not only a torturer, but a philosopher, he made Orion think like he wanted her to think through torture.

He erects forests, not as warnings as much as a promise.

What he wanted to do to Darrow, that would have broke the myth of the Reaper for good. Because it was not a simple killing.

He says he says he fears people who fight for good, because they can excuse any evil and that is interesting because Lysander is like that, not Darrow.

He doesn't try to protect his people , he tries to protect and reinforce a system that ensalves and exploits people. A bit similar, but not quite with Vlad. Vlad tried a more Reformist approach, so to speak. I think Atlas is worst.

Point is, similarities between Vlad and Atlas exist, but not that many.

As for phychological warfare, it is very effective, because it breaks the spirit of your enemies first and that is half the battle. But Atlas goes deeper with that. He managed to traumatize Orion so much that she went against humanity itself.

Of course, phycho warfare or not, Darrow has managed many times to fuck up Atlas' plans, as he was the one who made him run away from Mars. So it depends, I believe. Against a person like Darrow, it doesn't work, at least not like it supposed to, but Darrow is the strongest willed person I know in this universe.

So, as long as the leader takes charge as they should and doesn't let the mind games get to them, the army will follow and bottle up trauma like the leader does. But not everyone will respond like that, so I think it depends.

Hope this makes sense...

Howl on!

[arcticdementor]

The problem is not so much elite disloyalty to the masses, nor a Jewish plot against members of the elite not of their own race, as elite disloyalty to the elite. When the priesthood seeks to destroy the common man and return flyover country to wilderness, their real target is not lumberjacks and coal miners, but military officers. Lumberjacks and coal miners are just collateral damage.

We are always ruled by priests or warriors. When priests get on top, there is military weakness. When they get on top, there is also an incentive and ability to go into a holiness spiral.

So, when did the rot set in?

This interpretation of events is largely based on Volume 55 of the North American Review, page 45, “The English in Afghanistan” by Summer, who quotes extensively from contemporary primary sources

Before the British intervened in Afghanistan, the most recent news that most people had of it was records of Alexander’s army passing through two millennia ago.

…

Afghanistan was, and perhaps still is, a elective monarchy, and the fractious electors tended to fight each other and elect weak kings who could scarcely control their followers, and so it has been ever since Alexander’s troops lost Alexander.

Mister Mountstuart Elphinstone, in his account of is mission to Kabul in 1809, says he once urged upon a very intelligent old man of the tribe of Meankheile, the superiority of a quiet life under a powerful monarch, over the state of chaotic anarchy that so frequently prevailed.

The reply was “We are content with alarms, we are content with discord, we are content with blood, but we will never be content with a master!”

As Machiavelli observed, such places are easy to conquer, but hard to hold, and so it proved.

…

After a long period of disorderly violence, where brother savagely tortured brother to death, and all sorts of utterly horrifying crimes were committed, King Dost Mahomed Khan took power in Kabul in 1826, and proceeded to rule well, creating order, peace, and prosperity, and receiving near universal support from fractious and quarreling clans of Afghanistan.

The only tax under his rule was a tariff of one fortieth on goods entering and leaving the country. This and the Jizya poll tax are the only taxes allowed by the Koran, at least as Islamic law is interpreted in this rebellious country which has historically been disinclined to pay taxes, and because this tax was actually paid, it brought him unprecedented revenues. On paying this tax “the merchant may travel without guard or protection from one border to the other, an unheard of circumstance”

However he did not rule Herat, which was controlled by one of his enemies, who been King before and had ambitions to be King again. He therefore offered Herat to the Shah of Persia in return for the Shah’s support against another of his enemies, Runjeet Singh. He was probably scarcely aware that Runjeet Singh was allied to the British, and the Shah was allied to the Tsar of all the Russias.

…

The British East India Company, however, saw this as Afghanistan moving into Russian empire, though I am pretty sure that neither the Shah of Persia nor the King of Afghanistan thought they were part of anyone’s empire.

So Russia and the East India Company sent ambassadors to the King of Afghanistan, who held a bidding contest asking which of them could best protect him against Runjeet Singh.  He then proceeded to duplicitously accept both bids from both empires, which was a little too clever by half, though absolutely typical of the deals he made with his neighbors.

Dost Mahomed Khan was a very clever king, but double crossing the East India Company had in the past never been very clever at all. No one ever got ahead double crossing the East India Company. It was like borrowing money from the Mafia and forgetting to pay them back.

Russia and England then agreed to not get overly agitated over the doings of unreliable and duplicitous proxies that they could scarcely control – which agreement the East India Company took as permission to hold a gun to the head of the Shah of Persia. The East India company seized control of the Persian Gulf, an implicit threat to invade if the Shah intervened in Afghanistan to protect Dost Mahomed Khan. It then let Runjeet Singh off the leash, and promised to support his invasion of Afghanistan.

So far, so sane. Someone double crosses you, then you make an horrible example of him, and no one will do it again. Then get out, and whoever rules in Afghanistan, if anyone does manage to rule, will refrain from pissing you off a second time.

The British decided to give a large part of Afghanistan to Runjeet Singh, and install Shah Shoudjah-ool-Moolk, a Kinglet with somewhat plausible pretensions to the Afghan throne, in place of Dost Mahomet Khan.Up to this point everything the East India Company is doing is sane, honorable, competent, just, and wonderfully eighteenth century.

Unfortunately, it is the nineteenth century. And the nineteenth century is when the rot set in.

…

So: The English tell themselves and each other: We not smacking Afghans against a wall to teach them not to play games with the East India Company. On the contrary. We are doing them a favor. A really big favor. Because we love everyone. We even love total strangers in far away places very different from ourselves. We are defending the independence of Afghanistan by removing the strongest King it has had in centuries and installing our puppet, and defending its integrity by arranging for invasion, conquest, rape and pillage by its ancient enemies the Sikhs, in particular Runjeet Singh. Because we love far away strangers who speak a language different from our own and live in places we cannot find on the map. We just love them to pieces. And when we invade, we will doubtless be greeted by people throwing flowers at us.

You might ask who would believe such guff? Obviously not the Afghans, who are being smacked against the wall. Obviously not the Russians. Obviously not the Persians. Obviously not the British troops who are apt to notice they are not being pelted with flowers.

The answer is: the commanding officer believed this guff. And not long thereafter, he and his troops died of it, the first great defeat of British colonialism. And, of course, the same causes are today leading to our current defeat in Afghanistan.

…

Progressives tend to judge people by their good intentions, and the intentions of the British Empire in invading Afghanistan were absolutely wonderful, but the man who does evil because insane is a worse problem than the man who does evil because he expects to profit. The rational profit seeking evildoer, you can pay off, or deter. You can surrender on terms that will probably not be too bad. The irrational evildoer just has to be killed. Before 1840, the East India Company was sometimes deterred, frequently paid off, and frequently accepted surrender on reasonable terms. In 1841, just had to be killed.

…

The East India Company did not realize that it was about to be recast, or was recasting itself, from being a for profit company, empowered to make war and engage in acts of piracy and extortion for private profit, to being the British government’s instrument of holy do gooding, benevolently carrying the white man’s burden for the benefit of a bunch of strangely ungrateful foreigners. In place of a ruthless mafia with uniformed soldiers, the East India Company was about to become an NGO with uniformed nursemaids.

Yet strangely, the greater the good intentions, the more they were to be resented. </sarcasm> The East India Company seems to have been more popular when they were pirates and bandits than when they were pious do gooders. No one seemed to appreciate the East India Company doing good to them at gunpoint. The ridiculous part of the white man’s burden was the striking ingratitude of the supposed beneficiaries, resembling the striking ingratitude of Middle Easterner’s towards meddling by presidents Bush and Obama in the Middle East. Those @!^&$ Middle Easterners just somehow do not know what is good for them, unlike far away strangers, who, being terribly clever, know exactly what is good for the Middle East without ever having lived there.

[thecomicsnexus]

Tintin in the Land of the Soviets

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN: IN THE LAND OF THE SOVIETS 1930 BY HERGÉ

CRITICAL RECEPTION (FROM WIKIPEDIA)

In his study of the cultural and literary legacy of Brussels, André De Vries remarked that Tintin in the Land of the Soviets was "crude by Hergé's later standards, in every sense of the word". Simon Kuper of the Financial Times criticised both Land of the Soviets and Tintin in the Congo as the "worst" of the Adventures, being "poorly drawn" and "largely plot-free". Sociologist John Theobald of the Southampton Institute argued that Hergé had no interest in providing factual information about the Soviet Union, but only wanted to inculcate his readers against Marxism, hence depicting the Bolsheviks rigging elections, killing opponents and stealing the grain from the people. According to literary critic Jean-Marie Apostolidès of Stanford University, Hergé cast the Bolsheviks as "absolute evil" but was unable to understand how they had risen to power, or what their political views were. This meant that Tintin did not know this either, thereby observing the Soviet "world of misery" and fighting Bolsheviks without being able to foment an effective counter-revolution. Literary critic Tom McCarthy described the plot as "fairly straightforward" and criticised the depiction of Bolsheviks as "pantomime cut-outs".

Photograph of a middle-aged man speaking into a microphone. Hergé biographer Benoît Peeters considered In the Land of the Soviets to be "joyously bizarre" but also clearly Hergé's worst. "One couldn't have imagined a less remarkable debut." Hergé biographer Benoît Peeters was critical of the opening pages to the story, believing that the illustrations in it were among Hergé's worst and stating, "One couldn't have imagined a less remarkable debut for a work destined for such greatness". He believed that Tintin was an existentialist "Sartre-esque character" who existed only through his actions, operating simply as a narrative vehicle throughout the book. Where Hergé showed his talent, Peeters thought, was in conveying movement, and in utilising language in a "constantly imaginative" way. He considered the story's "absurdity" to be its best feature, rejecting plausible scenarios in favour of the "joyously bizarre", such as Tintin being frozen solid and then thawing, or Snowy dressing in a tiger skin to scare away a real tiger. Hergé biographer Pierre Assouline described the comic writer's image of the Soviet Union as being "a Dantesque vision of poverty, famine, terror, and repression".

Marking the release of Steven Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn film in 2011, the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) commissioned a documentary devoted to Tintin in the Land of the Soviets in which journalist Frank Gardner—who considered Tintin to be his boyhood hero—visited Russia, investigating and defending the accuracy of Hergé's account of Soviet human rights abuses. In an article for conservative newspaper the Daily Mail, Gardner discussed his experience, stating that upon first reading the comic, he thought the drawings crude and the plot improbable. However, during his trip to Russia, he learned from a Muscovite historian that the spirit of Hergé's story was in keeping with what was going on in Russia at the time. The historian confirmed that one of the great tragedies of the 20th century was the wholesale persecution of the Kulak farmers by the Bolsheviks, where "literally thousands perished." First airing on Sunday 30 October 2011 on BBC Two, it was produced by Graham Strong, with Luned Tonderai as producer and Tim Green as executive producer. David Butcher reviewed the documentary for the Radio Times, opining that Gardner's trip was dull compared to the comic's adventure, but praising a few "great moments", such as the scene in which Gardner tested an open-topped 1929 Amilcar, just as Tintin did in the adventure.

SYNOPSIS (FROM WIKIPEDIA)

Tintin, a reporter for Le Petit Vingtième, is sent with his dog Snowy on an assignment to the Soviet Union, departing from Brussels. En route to Moscow, an agent of the OGPU - the Soviet secret police - sabotages the train and declares the reporter to be a "dirty little bourgeois". The Berlin Police blame Tintin for the bombing but he escapes to the border of the Soviet Union. Following closely, the OGPU agent finds Tintin and brings him before the local Commissar's office, instructing the Commissar to make the reporter "disappear ... accidentally". Escaping again, Tintin finds "how the Soviets fool the poor idiots who still believe in a Red Paradise" by burning bundles of straw and clanging metal in order to trick visiting English Marxists into believing that non-operational Soviet factories are productive.

Tintin witnesses a local election, where the Bolsheviks threaten the voters to ensure their own victory; when they try to arrest him, he dresses as a ghost to scare them away. Tintin attempts to make his way out of the Soviet Union, but the Bolsheviks pursue and arrest him, then threaten him with torture. Escaping his captors, Tintin reaches Moscow, remarking that the Bolsheviks have turned it into "a stinking slum". He and Snowy observe a government official handing out bread to homeless Marxists but denying it to their opponents; Snowy steals a loaf and gives it to a starving boy. Spying on a secret Bolshevik meeting, Tintin learns that all the Soviet grain is being exported abroad for propaganda purposes, leaving the people starving, and that the government plans to "organise an expedition against the kulaks, the rich peasants, and force them at gunpoint to give us their corn."

Tintin infiltrates the Red Army and warns some of the kulaks to hide their grain, but the army catches him and sentences him to death by firing squad. By planting blanks in the soldiers' rifles, Tintin fakes his death and is able to make his way into the snowy wilderness, where he discovers an underground Bolshevik hideaway in a haunted house. A Bolshevik then captures him and informs him, "You're in the hideout where Lenin, Trotsky and Stalin have collected together wealth stolen from the people!" With Snowy's help, Tintin escapes, commandeers a plane, and flies into the night. The plane crashes, but Tintin fashions a new propeller from a tree using a penknife, and continues to Berlin. The OGPU agents appear and lock Tintin in a dungeon, but he escapes with the aid of Snowy, who has dressed himself in a tiger costume. The last OGPU agent attempts to kidnap Tintin, but this attempt is foiled, leaving the agent threatening, "We'll blow up all the capitals of Europe with dynamite!" Tintin returns to Brussels amidst a huge popular reception.

REVIEW

I am used to reading propaganda comics. The american Golden Age is full of racism and nationalism, and it is offending in its bad taste. Now, Tintin in this case was also propaganda in the form of satire, which is actually a very smart way of pushing ideologies. So, people were probably offended by the way the Soviets are portrayed here, and they are correct when they say that there is no investigation about the causes or trying to figure out why they were acting like that. But I can tell you that, coming from the third world myself, where these common practices of communism shaped nations (and kept them from progressing), all the things Tintin sees still happen in the world. More than you can imagine. And we are talking about countries that are part of international organisms. So, while this book may seem “too simplistic” at times, I have no doubt it is realistic.

Also, exploring the causes would probably not fit the publication the comic strip was being published on.

The story, soviets aside, is pretty entertaining and Milou (Snowy) has dog thoughts and dialogues that make him more relate-able.

The style is not there yet. Hergé gets better from panel one til the end. If this is one of his weakest works, I cannot wait to see his strongest.

I give this book a score of 8

[sa-lt-ys]

The Strongest

Prompt/AU: "Would you be cool with writing a Markus one-shot where the reader is Carl’s niece, and whenever she visits him Markus gets really happy and he doesn’t understand why? Maybe he asks Carl and he’s like “well I’ll be DaMnEd, you’re in love!” And tells Markus to confess to her next time she visits and when he does it’s all fluffy and cute??"

Universe: Detroit: Become Human Pairing: Markus (RK200) X Fem! Reader Warnings: mild swearing, mentions of violence Word Count: 1712 words

Sometimes, vague bouts of insomnia are a pain in the arse, but in times like this, they're great because suddenly my productivity goes through the roof.

Also, should I go multi-fandom? There's only so many stories you can tell in one world after all, and its a question that's been going around my head for a long time.

Anyway, I digress, thank you to the beautiful anon who asked for this!!

~~~

You parents had always said that you had your uncle's blood in your veins, and you never really understood why until you met him for the first time you could recall.

Standing in his studio, eyes wide with wonder as you looked around at all the paintings, you were sure that everything changed for you the moment your uncle handed you a pencil and a sketch pad -- bought specially for you -- and then told you to draw whatever was in your heart.

From that day, your art progressed from unicorns and stars to dragons and heroes and from there to tortured youths and shadows with hearts. Eventually, your pencils began to reveal lighter topics, though they never lost that dark undertone from your early teens and hectic school years.

"Welcome back, (Y/N)", and there you stood, an almost fully functioning adult with a bag slung on your shoulder filled with pencils and pads, and a huge smile on your face as you saw your favourite android (Roombas didn't count).

"Hey Markus, he isn't being too much hassle, is he?" The RK200 happily returned your smile as you strode along, side-by-side in the direction of Carl's studio.

"Well, he's ignoring his doctor's advice again with his medication, but I cant see that ever changing." You chuckled as you walked along.

"Maybe he'll listen as the same day he puts hi brush down." It was Markus' turn to laugh then as you both entered the studio and -- as always -- spotted Carl high above you, already working on his new piece. Though, to you, it just looked like blobs of blue... but, Carl kept insisting you would see the true picture once it was finished.

"That's the thing with us humans," he had said with a gentle smile. "Sometimes our full stories are never told until we are already gone."

"Hey Carl! I got those paintbrushes you wanted!" You shot your uncle a smile, which was happily returned as the older man lowered himself down to receive your hug.

"Did you? But I thought they were too expensive for you to afford," his confusion only made your smile brighter as you pulled the brushes out of your bag.

"Yeah, well, I know a couple people, and they helped me to get a discount, so it ended up still being pretty expensive, but affordable enough that I can survive." Your uncle tutted, taking the brushes with a smile and turning to see an... extremely happy Markus setting up your little artsy area.

"Markus, do me a favour and get some money for (Y/N)?"

"Carl, no," you also turned to the android. "Markus, don't, they weren't that expensive, okay? Honestly, I've got enough to get by." You groaned as Markus walked past you, and out of the studio.

"Carl! Come on! You know I always feel bad with this stuff! You don't need to give me all this money! And, also, why is it that Markus never listens to me with this kind of thing!" Carl chuckled, watching as you pouted like you used to as a kid.

"For one, I know when I give you money, you'll use it right, and you're not... misguided like Leo is. As for Markus, I can only guess why." You sighed, but let the matter go.

"Whatever, its not like I can convince you otherwise. I've tried too many times, and its never worked." After letting out another sigh, you wrapped Carl in another hug. "Thanks anyway, old man."

~~~

Several hours -- actually, many hours -- later once you had left, Markus sat with Carl and watched him sketch little nothings like he always did after dinner. It was a relaxing pastime for both of them, and a time they usually took for talking as well.

"Carl... can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?" Markus hesitated, fiddling with his hands as he tried to find a way to explain, his LED whirring yellow.

"When... With (Y/N), I... I don't know how to explain it, but..." Carl looked up from his pad with a smile.

"You always feel happy with her near?" Markus didn't know why he was surprised, Carl always seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Yeah, why is that?" For a moment, Carl couldn't get any words out through his laughter and fond smile, but he managed eventually.

"Well, I’ll be damned, Markus, son, I think you might just be in love with her." He let out a deep, weary sigh befitting of an old man and let his gaze drift away. "She was always a strong girl, never afraid to draw something new, or to draw whatever was in her heart... I think you two will make a good couple." He turned his eyes back to Markus. "Just protect her, got it?" The android nodded with a smile of his own.

"But, how do I tell her?" Another fond smile.

"Just tell her next time she comes round. (Y/N)'s always been the type of girl who likes an honest person. You just tell her straight how you feel? I'm pretty sure she'll reciprocate."

"R-right... I'll try."

~~~

You were there again the next day.

"(Y/N), back so soon?" You walked in with a huff, barely able to spare a smile for your favourite android.

"Yeah... I got fed up with my parents again. They keep saying that I cant make a career out of art, I cant be like my uncle. Loads of bullshit, it just pissed me off, so I just grabbed my bag and walked out." You let out a deep sigh, scrubbing a hand over your face and pushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face. "Is Carl in his studio as always?" Markus nodded, but didn't move.

"Yeah, but... can I talk to you for a second?" Your heart skipped a beat but you hid it away. Emotions for an android? Even you weren't that stupid.

"Sure, what's up?" For a long moment, there was nothing but silence.

"I... You... I just..." Nothing came out except almost gibberish, and after a while, Markus gave up with a deep sigh. You simply stood there, completely oblivious to what Markus was trying to say.

Until, it was all ruined.

"He has a crush on you!" Your head snapped towards the doors leading towards the studio.

"Was that..?" Markus was also looking too, and walked forward until the doors opened to reveal--

"Carl!" With a angry cry, the older man whizzed off with incredible speed for a 70-something cripple in a wheelchair, leaving you and Markus alone again.

"For crying out loud, he's a nosy old-- wait," you spun around to face Markus. "You... you have a crush on me?" Your face turned red as the android nodded.

"Oh..." Markus didn't look at you as he began t speak.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way, i-if you want, we can pretend this never--"

"No." He was stopped by that simple word, and finally worked up the courage to look at you.

You were looking at him, a gentle smile on your face despite the blush, and your hand was held out towards him.

"I... I feel the same way, so don't worry Markus. I was just a little shocked is all." You let out what Markus thought to be the most adorable giggle. "Why don't we go and draw together? I heard Carl's been trying to get you to do some art recently?" With a smile and a nod, Markus gently took your hand and had a little laugh of his own.

"Yeah, I'd... I'd like that."

~~~~

EXTRA BONUS SCENE FOR YA THIRSTY HOES

~~~~

The humans were attacking.

Androids were dying.

You were covered in blue blood.

Head to toe.

Gunshots rang out everywhere, and your hearing was spattered with high pitched ringing as you dragged yourself to some kind of cover, hoping that if you played dead, the humans would leave you alone... Or maybe they wouldn't... after all, how would they feel about a human standing with the leader of the android rebellion?

"(Y/N)!" Who was calling your name? It sounded familiar, but the ringing kept getting in the way.

Still, you sat up slowly from where you had been sprawled on the ground, and with a hand to your worst ear, you peeked around what seemed to be an old bin, looking for whoever had called your name.

From directly across you, you could see Markus looking around frantically, North tugging at him to get back to cover.

You stood up shakily, and waved a hand at him. He saw, and within seconds, was by your side.

"Markus, the humans, they--" ducking and dodging more gunfire, Markus held on to your with a tight grip as you reached the last group of androids. You were backed into a corner. You were trapped.

Where was Connor? He was supposed to be back now... but, his partner was still alone, tears clear for all to see as they stood beside you, their hand slowly grabbing onto yours for security and comfort.

"Markus," you turned to look at your boyfriend. "I'm scared." His hand tightened around yours slightly, and he turned to give you a tight smile.

"I know," he said gently. "So am I."

Silence fell with the snowflakes as the soldiers approached you, guns aimed at your faces. With your heart hammering in your chest, you pushed back your tears, and decided that finally, you would do something for Markus, when he had done all for you.

So you stepped forward.

Your hand slipped out of Markus'.

"(Y/N), what are you--" You took in a deep breath.

"Hold on, just a little while longer~" Your voice carried in the still air, and you saw all the soldiers hesitate, giving others the courage to step forward and join you as you all sang for you freedom, your life, and your love.

And from behind you, Markus watched with a proud smile, Carl's words coming back to him.

"...She always was a strong girl."

Yes, Markus thought, moving to stand beside you as his voice joined with yours in a perfect harmony as did his hand with yours. She was always the strongest.

[mimeparadox]

My Big Damn Irina Derevko Post

(Note: Spoilers for Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and The Americans ahead. And for Alias, obviously.)

I’ve never understood why Irina Derevko is so beloved.

No, scratch that. I do understand why she’s beloved. What I don’t understand is the belief that the character on-screen actually had anything but the most superficial likeness to the character than exists in the better-than-the-actual-show fandom headcanons.  Like, season 2 is overwhelmingly considered the best season of the series, and Irina is often credited as one of the main reasons, and…I can’t see it? [*1] 

Similarly, I don’t understand the hate for Irina’s final story. Yes, the missiles and mass murder specifically were stupid, and the final fight with Sydney is seriously lacking in “oomph”, but these are execution problems, and most of the complaints appear to be about the concept—as in, fans believe Irina wouldn’t put her ambitions above Sydney, especially after season 4. To which I say…really? 

Sure, I can buy that Irina loves Sydney, and Jack, and Nadia, in her own, destructive way; what I can’t believe is she cares for them more than she does her agenda, whatever that is at any given moment .  Like, I don’t believe anything she does in season 2 actually works, if the idea is that she’s somehow doing it for a greater good. Maybe if she were operating from a position of weakness, but that’s not the case—she remains the strongest piece in the game throughout the season. [*2] Why, exactly, is all this convolution and emotional manipulation of the people she allegedly loves needed, if her goal is a sympathetic one?  Furthermore, the series glosses over, if not outright ignores, the various details which indicate that Irina was not on the level—first and foremost: why go to the C.I.A., i.e. the United States, in the first place, unless she wants something only they can provide?  She’s not American!  Her work as the Man was global!

(Speaking of agendas, I know that it’s taken as gospel by at least part of the fandom that everything Irina did in season two was in order to be able to find Nadia again. Fair enough: even if it’s not quite canon—I don’t think they ever explicitly say this was actually the case—there’s enough actual in-show evidence (a rare thing, in some respects) to make it plausible [*3]. That, said, I’m not sure “trying to find my daughter” justifies much of anything she does—not enough to make her more sympathetic than, say, Sloane.)

I also don’t think Irina’s presence does a whole lot for the series’ larger narrative, as evidenced by the fact that, for all her importance, she doesn’t actually change a whole lot. It feels like she should, but between the SD-6 take-down being way emptier than it should have been, and the fact that neither Sydney nor Jack end the season any different than they started it, she ends up feeling largely inconsequential. [*4] It is also equally hard, if not impossible, to say how the events of the season have changed Irina, given how opaque everything about her is designed to be.  Later, Irina ends up being largely incidental to Nadia’s discovery, and Nadia’s story is arguably better with Irina as the unsolvable dead mystery, in part because it helps differentiate her from the possibly evil possibly repentant figure that already exists in SpySkipper’s life.

And that’s one of my other issues with Irina as a character: while there is in theory a lot to distinguish her from the rest of the cast—her upbringing alone!—the way the show uses her de-emphasizes those differences and emphasizes the similarities to such a degree that she often ends up feeling redundant.  The “whose side is she on” beat, in particular, had arguably already become overused when it came time to play it with her, and by the time SD-6 was done and she explicitly joined Sloane, there were too many similarities between the two to make the dynamic between them compelling, particularly since the show made it verboten for either of them to speak about their motivations.  Furthermore, if one believes that Irina did it all for her family, then what is there to distinguish her from Jack, who’s already ready to torture as many people as necessary for that very thing?  

To be clear, there were ways Irina could have realized her potential to be Alias’ version of Metal Gear Solid’s The Man The Boss or The Americans’ Elizabeth Jennings—or rather, a version of those characters that actually works as well as they do.  That’s certainly what her fans seem to want. Unfortunately, those ways rely on Alias being…not like itself.

I am not the first person to note the similarities between Irina (a.k.a. Laura Bristow) and Elizabeth Jennings (a.k.a. Nadezhda): they’re hard not to notice, given that they’re both KGB spies and assassins embedded in the United States and operating under cover during the Cold War, and forced to select between loyalty to their country and the family they’d made (although it’s worth noting that Elizabeth’s husband, unlike Jack, is in on the scheme and also a KGB spy/assassin) [*5]. The Boss, meanwhile, parallels season 2 Irina: at the beginning of Snake Eater, where she appears, she betrays the C.I.A. without explanation and defects to Russia, and she spends most of the story running rings around everyone, including her protégé Snake (the game’s protagonist, who’s been assigned to kill her and stop her sponsor, a Russian colonel named Volgin) until her actual motives are revealed. She also exists in a universe which combines semi-realistic espionage with frequent batshittery, including psychics, hornets as a weapon of choice, impossibly old snipers with the power of photosynthesis, and a ridiculous amount of reversals and double-crosses.

That said, despite the similarities, there is one chief difference between either work and Alias, which is crucial to making their stories work: neither is naive about the world they’re presenting, both understand, in a way Alias does, that one can’t be a spy and keep one’s hands clean. Being a spy, for the Boss, meant betraying her old friends and everyone she ever loved, allowing herself to become an international pariah, and ultimately dying, because that’s what the mission required.  Elizabeth Jennings killed innocent people, ruined friends’ lives, blackmailed countless people, manipulated her daughter into following her footsteps, and ran herself ragged for years, all because she believed in the cause.  It’s not a great life, being a spy. 

MSG 3 images obtained from Metal Gear Solid 3: The Movie, a re-edit of the game’s cutscenes by KefkaProduction. It can be seen here.

(Sydney, meanwhile, often just has to lie a lot.) [*6]

The thing about this sort of work is that it breaks down one’s ability to claim the moral high ground. Once you’re doing terrible things on the regular, it’s easy to see enemy spies are just other people who are also doing terrible things for their mission—potential comrades who just happen to be on the other side. Snake, The Boss’ protégé in Snake Eater, develops a relationship with Ocelot, a Sark-like soldier working for the Russians.  Elizabeth and Philip Jennings develop a friendship with Stan Beeman, an F.B.I. counter-intelligence agent living right next door, which turns out to be every bit as genuine as it is an effort to cultivate a source. 

Alias, however, spends much of the series unable and unwilling to strip Sydney of her moral high ground, once she obtains it by working for the C.I.A.  What should have been the beginning of her moral journey—after all, how different is SD-6 from the C.I.A., if the people working for the former can’t tell they aren’t working for the latter, and their missions largely work out the same way?—is instead treated as the end. As terrible as U.S. intelligence proves to be, it never actually makes Sydney question her loyalties, or even her feelings about it all. This, in turn, utterly undermines Irina’s potential as a storytelling element.  What good is a temptress if there’s no potential for the person being tempted to change? 

(Similarly, if we’re not allowed to know what Irina Derevko wants—a key element of character-building, as many people will tell you—how are we meant to know how she herself is being changed?)  

Given what we got, it’s no surprise that Irina’s season 4 return is so uninspired, consisting largely of fan service moments, and very little in terms of character progression, or sense that the Sydney’s relationship has moved forward in any way that feels natural—what else was there to do? [*6] It’s inoffensive to the point of being really annoying. 

While Irina’s season 5 appearances are in a way a step backwards, Irina was always more interesting the closer she got to villainy. Her appearance in “Maternal Instinct” is a hoot, and allows her and Sydney to play roles only they could play.  Their final battle, while not really satisfying—in part because it’s the fourth ladyfight in as many finales, and none had come even close to matching the original—feels necessary for Sydney’s story, which had finally begun progressing again after seasons of stalling: there is catharsis to “I am through being disappointed in you” that feels utterly necessary. Could it have been better?  Sure, but then, so could 80% of everything having to do with Irina. 

Footnote footnote revolution!

[*1] I remain convinced that season 2 is actually the worst season, is the one that irrevocably ruined Alias, and that Irina actually had a fair amount to do with that. But that’s a different TED Talk, and I’m willing to fight about it, if anyone wants.

[*2] Well, it depends: the status of Irina’s organization following her “defection” is…unclear. If we accept the idea that the organization is in shambles, as the season suggests, then there’s really no reason why, exactly, the C.I.A. actually needs her cooperation, given that they…uh… didn’t need it in order to actually grievously ruin it in the first place.  And yet, here we are.  

[*3] To a degree, anyway. The Nadia story gets us as far as explaining why Irina would need The Telling, but doesn’t tell us why she’d need The Circumference, even if we ignore its eventual canon purpose.  

[*4] No, their season 3 belief that Irina can be worked with doesn’t count, as it is spun out of whole cloth, and can’t be directly tied into anything that occurred the previous season.  

[*5] The Americans also features an enviable wig game, which should feel very comforting to Alias fans.

[*6] I’m being mostly glib here, but also accurate: while they were a million reasons why Sydney could justifiably consider her double agent status to be  hellish, having to lie to everyone was consistently treated as the absolute worst part of it all.  Fair enough, in a series ultimately about identity, except Alias never really made the attempt to explore that element, either. The closest it got was Julia Thorne, and that was aborted before it could really get anywhere interesting. 

[*7] Although to be fair, that’s partly because, again, the series isn’t really concerned with having Sydney evolve as a person since season 1.

[derekvolo-blog]

A Conspiracy That Isn’t - MK Ultra

“Coming up, the government’s bizarre experiments in mind-control using human guinea pigs”. ("MK ULTRA (History Channel Documentary)" 2017) The opening line hangs there, almost palpable, subtle yet dramatic music plays in the background leaving the viewer to ponder what they just heard. The over 40 minute “documentary” or presentation of evidence and accounts of the claim that follows in the History Channel's Documentary on MK Ultra feels more akin to something out of Hollywood. The information and plot presented is something that perhaps would happen in a Jason Bourne movie, but surely not in the real world, and surely not something the US government would perpetrate on its own citizenry. 

MK Ultra was a top-secret CIA project in which the agency conducted hundreds of clandestine experiments - sometimes on unwitting U.S. Citizens. Its purpose was to assess the potential use of LSD and other drugs for mind control, information gathering, and psychological torture. Though Project MK Ultra lasted from 1953 until about 1973, details of the illicit program didn’t become public until 1975 during a congressional investigation into widespread illegal CIA activities within the United States and around the World. (History.com)

The information above and the subject of my rhetorical analysis was presented in the from of a documentary by the history channel. The documentary itself is a very well produced video presentation, filled with; historical information, first hand accounts, and evidence that documents the conspiracy by the US Government to explore and become the world leader in mind-control. The documentary also states that in an effort to reach these goals, and under the auspices of national security, the government experimented on unwitting US citizens throughout the 1950’s and 1960’s. The video is rife with very subtle as well as not so subtle examples of all three of the major rhetorical proofs; ethos, pathos, and logos. These rhetorical proofs are used in a very effective way that can leave any viewer in shock about the information they were just given and in my opinion should make a believer out of everyone.  

(Chemical Structure of LSD above, compound was widely used in the project known as MK Ultra) 

Pathos - Emotional Argument

The rhetorical proof of pathos is defined as when an author “use(s) feelings, desires, or fears to influence readers” (Johnson-Sheehan & Paine 2019) It is in essence an appeal to a readers emotions. 

The opening composition of dialogue and dramatic music is perhaps one of the clearest uses of pathos used in this piece. There are two key words used that evoke this emotional response, they are; “bizarre” and “guinea-pigs”. These two words are, in my opinion, a blatant appeal to elicit an emotional connection and identity with the audience. The specific use of the term guinea pig implies to the audience that the government, in this instance, views the citizenry as less than, as expendable rodents, and as a means to an end. Tie this together with the word “bizarre experiments” and one can’t help but think that these actions  wouldn’t even be constitutional as a form of capital punishment, (reference the 8th amendment to the US Constitution) much less should it be allowed on unknowing innocent participants. These particular word choices immediately creates, or at least sets the stage for unified feelings of hostility and/or disdain towards any government or entity that could perpetrate such acts. 

Ethos - Appeal to Authority or Credibility

The rhetorical proof of ethos is when an author “use(s) the reputation, experience, and values of the author or an expert to support claims.” (Johnson-Sheehan & Paine 2019)

There are various uses of ethos that can be seen throughout the piece. Ethos and it’s extrinsic use are not used however to add credibility to the narrator but rather to a number of subjects who are interviewed and presenting material about the topic. When the piece begins to discuss the origins of mind-control experimentation as well as the legal implications, it clearly identifies one of the interviewees as a “Professor of Law, Santa Clara University” shown via a graphic in the lower third of the frame when he is speaking. This is a clear attempt by the piece to add credibility to the discussion surrounding these topics. Not only is this person a lawyer, but they are a professor of Law. This appeal to ethos is an attempt to persuade the audience that not only can they speak to the law but they are also qualified to educate individuals in the concepts and theory of law and therefore are qualified to weigh in on this particular subject.  

Furthermore it is this same lawyer who presents items relating to the congressional investigation into MK Ultra and the release of government documents that detailed some of the evidence of the existence of this program. Again the same banner of credentials appears again invoking an appeal to authority. 

Logos - Appeal to Logic and Reasoning

The final rhetorical proof, logos, is an appeal “to readers’ common sense, beliefs or values.” (Johnson-Sheehan & Paine 2019) And it is this to logic, or common sense, that I believe is the most commonly used and strongest appeal used in making the case for the conspiracy theory to be believed. One of the first such uses, is the presentation of accounts that the US’s various enemies on a state level were engaged in researching mind control. The argument being that since other countries are engaged in this type of research and warfare, the US would need to catch up and even surpass the knowledge and efficiency of other states in implementing these practices. After all National Security depends on us staying ahead of our enemies in the instruments and practices of warfare.

This particular appeal to logos in my opinion is an appeal to get the audience to by into not just the conspiracy itself, but to also buy into the motive that would allow the US Government to rationalize and create such a program. If you can convince people why the government would do something, convincing them that they followed through on the motive in my opinion becomes that much easier.

The strongest appeal to Logos in the presentation of the material are several examples of the US government acknowledging that this program existed. In essence other branches of the government, through investigations and official hearings, have shown that there is evidence that this program did exist. The piece cites a 1977 investigation and hearing by the US Senate Subcommittee on health and scientific research as well as the release of 16,000 declassified documents that allowed investigators to piece together details of the program. Subsequently one victim who died as a result of the program won a legal proceeding brought about by his family and was awarded $750,000 and received a personal apology from President Gerald Ford and then CIA director William Colby (History.com)

Combining Appeals 

At one point in the film, as the history and circumstances of the time are laid out in an effort to inspect the possible motives for the creation of such a program, the piece ratchets up the appeal to the audience by invoking all 3 appeals almost seamlessly and simultaneously using multiple mediums. The clip plays out as follows around the 8:00 minute mark. A Dramatic soundtrack with long suspenseful tones plays as grainy black and white images images of bombs, guns, Nazi soldiers, and historical figures flash across the screen (pathos), the narrator reads a a quote from William Donovan “a World War I Military Hero” and director of a new intelligence office (ethos), of his need to obtain “every subtle device or underhanded trick to use against the Germans and the Japanese” (logos and ethos). 

At this point I will not delve into each individual appeal as that has been covered in the previous section. However what is very striking and very powerful is the ability of the piece to use all three of these appeals in a concert of influence. This combination of appeals is a very convincing and effective construct to have the audience buy into the creation and motivation for the genesis of this government program.

The overall use of ethos, pathos, and logos in this piece in my opinion are used in a very effective way to present the information as fact and further the belief or curiosity in this particular conspiracy theory. Furthermore the combination of using two or more types of appeals at the same time makes the piece that much more effective in identifying with the audience and possibly making skeptics out of what were once non-believers. 

So...Is it True? 

After reviewing the documentary as well as looking at other evidence I am convinced that this program did in fact exist. The tone and register of the piece were very professional and presented in such a way that gave not only the known details into the program but the history and events surrounding its creation. It was presented in a way that the audience did not need to have any prior knowledge or understanding of the program or surrounding histories to get the full story, this was a very good way of outlining the entire argument that MK Ultra did exist.  

It is worth noting to any readers that want to delve further into what the CIA has acknowledged and what has been released that through a FOIA (Freedom Of Information Act) request there are hundreds of documents that can be read on the CIA’s own website regarding MK Utra  (CIA.gov)

What is not discussed in this piece is the entirety of success’s or failures achieved in an attempt to control the mind. The fact that this information and the accompanying records were destroyed before the investigation has spawned off a litany of what I call sub-conspiracies that run the gamut of tying this program to a host of other conspiracy theories which may or may not be true. 

The most important take away from this program in my opinion is the acknowledgement by the US government that it did in fact exist. And that had the applicable records been destroyed it is highly likely that its existence would never be acknowledged. It should serve as a cautionary tale that some conspiracies, no matter how outlandish could possibly be true and that no government should ever be thought of as altruistic. 

Full Documentary can be seen here; 

Works Cited

Central Intelligence Agency, Central Intelligence Agency, www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/search/site/MK-Ultra.

History.com, A&E Television Networks, www.history.com/topics/us-government/history-of-mk-ultra.

Johnson-Sheehan, Richard, and Charles Paine. Writing Today . 4e ed., Pearson Education, Inc., 2019. ISBN 13: 9780134808031

TRUTH TALK NEWS CHANNEL. “MK ULTRA (History Channel Documentary).” YouTube, YouTube, 22 June 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Z1hcn5UZE. 

[strangcrdoctor]

∞Okay last one for the night because I am really tired and very ready for bed but I’ve gotta get in my Avengers commentary because I have to start off tomorrow on a clean slate and ready to go. Thus, here we are.

1. In lieu of only post Infinity War MCU canon, Loki’s rhetoric at the very beginning of The Avengers sounds a fucking lot like Maw’s. In the initial scenes when he’s fresh off the Tesseract Express his words and way of speaking sound nothing like his own. Even comparing his speeches at the outset of the movie versus the one he makes in Stuttgart, the tones and focuses of them are very different. (IE the first speech focuses on the “powers at be” versus the Stuttgart speech focusing on Loki’s personal opinions of humanity which are more and more developed throughout the film.) But it struck me that these first scenes are precisely on-cue for someone tortured and brainwashed by, say, The Black Order. 2. Given I literally just watched the first Captain America yesterday, I find Cap’s “old fashioned” comment about the stars and stripes on his uniform to be both sad and interesting. Especially given the context that comparatively Cap hasn’t been “up” for very long, one particular comment made to him by Schmidt literally moments before he went into the ice stands out. Schmidt says that through the Tesseract he glimpsed the future, and that there were no flags. In the America and world Steve wakes up to, compared to the world of the 1940s that claim of Schmidt’s could very suddenly appear to be true, which would be understandably uncomfortable for someone like Steve who is usually determined and quick on his feet but at such a staggering disadvantage because of the gap between his mindset and that of his contemporaries which are more varied than he necessarily knows how to quantify right at the outset. Watching his progress throughout the MCU in light of that is interesting, but that one moment of introspection about the utility of the “stars and stripes” is a uniquely postmodern comment coming from a pre-modern/modern man. 3. Okay so this intrigues me now that we have the Guardians and pretty much the entire universe in play in the MCU, but what “greater worlds,” exactly, was the Tesseract supposed to unveil? True the Tesseract is the space stone and verifiably can open portals to everywhere and anywhere in the universe, but Loki specifically makes the claim that the Tesseract can open up access to “greater worlds,” and I’m honestly still not entirely sure what precise reference this was supposed to be making. Because Thanos barely might have arguably needed the Tesseract to get to the planet the Soul Stone was on, but even so that’s a connection that still somehow feels like a stretch. So my question is, what if they meaning the Black Order or Thanos or possibly even Loki needed the Tesseract to get at something else? Somewhere else? Then again, this particular slip might just be Whedon’s doing and not necessarily be reflective of the culmination of the MCU up to this point so IDK. 4. I’m not going to lie, I’ve found it fascinating from day one that The Avengers very openly plays with godhood, to the point that I’m genuinely not sure if they’re reifying it in the MCU or tinkering with it. I mean obviously in the later movies this theme is less stressed because the tinkering patently takes precedence, but it’s still cool to me that there are both scripted and visual imagery that tie in multicultural interpretations of godhood. Fury mentions the burial rites of the Pharaohs within the first ten minutes of the film, Loki commits a human sacrifice on a Babylonian bull altar straight from Gilgamesh era in Stuttgart, Cap makes a comment about how his singular god does and does not dress after Natasha herself labels Thor and Loki as gods, and Fury unashamedly labels Thor as a god when they release the Tesseract to his custody. And while a bit ham-fisted, the correlation between theism and the bleeding-edge demand to acknowledge the reality of the universe is still pretty neat guys. 5. The old man in Stuttgart because no FUCK. If any of y’all think that my Germanist ass won’t get misty-eyed and choked-up during this scene, you’re wrong. 6. Okay so I’ll premise this by saying that I haven’t cross-checked the official script because frankly... yeah frankly I don’t want to be wrong and I really can’t hear anything but what I believe to be my interpretation of the line even though I know what the other fan alternatives have been. But when Thor and Loki are arguing on the mountaintop, when Loki says that he, “Was and should be ---,” my hearing of it instead of having been “Was and should be king,” is “Was and should be killed.” And while I’ll bow to whatever official record claims otherwise, I like my hearing better so there. (Also... there’s zero hint of Hiddleston’s palate producing a “g” sound in that sentence but I’ll put my inner linguist away and leave it at that.) 7. In light of that scene, though, when Loki and Thor are arguing is one of the first moments when Loki actually sounds like himself after the Stuttgart scene? Prior to that point the only times we see Loki is when he’s marshaling his human troops and getting policed by those lording over him. In all of those initial scenes Loki feels... very un-Loki to me. Not because Loki isn’t a bastard (hint: he is), but because his motivations and justifications are vague and not seemingly personally motivated, which is what Loki is to a fault. Post-Stuttgart, however, and the personal element seems to return for him because of some reason or another. (IE I have theories but you can read your own into it.) 8. Let it never be said that Thor is a dull bulb. Yeah it’s still sort of unclear how Thor got to Earth (though nothing is unclear about why Thor is pissed), but Thor does walk in with more than enough information to be frankly a little surprising. Bless Heimdall and all that, but seriously the fact that Thor knows about the Chitauri but doesn’t know other things casts an interesting focus on what he was told by Odin and Heimdall before going. Most importantly, though, even from conversing with Loki for a few minutes, Thor is attentive enough to pick up on some of what Loki isn’t saying. Such as, just who showed Loki how to use the Tesseract and all the things Loki claims to be motivated by. Equally interestingly, Loki specifically refuses to answer that question. 9. I feel bad for Fury for sleeping in a den of vipers for so long - though I do like the build-up from the first Avengers into the following issues with HYDRA corruption - but in ways more important to the immediate issue in the first Avengers, Fury might be a shady bitch but he is not an idiot. Because while everyone else was having pissing contests and not trusting one another, Fury was not trusting the person that deserved to be trusted the least, which isn’t just good leadership, but is good spycraft. 10. As established later in the MCU, it’s exceedingly clever that even in the first Avengers there are scenes when even without a “wielder” present, the Mind Stone - as-yet unidentified as such in the MCU - can be seen manipulating those in its vicinity such as in the lab where the biggest catfight in the history of the MCU breaks out. I mean. Until CA:CW... 11. Steve Rogers, poor cinnamon roll, unexpectedly served at dinner instead of breakfast, who cracks jokes about technology he really isn’t that bad at as “seeming to run on some kind of electricity.” Bless. Though really that internal console, while doing complicated shit, is definitely not any more or less visually complicated than the interior of a radio relay which Steve definitely dealt with in his day but kudos for the humor bb, A+. 12. Still one of the strongest and most harrowing lines ever said in the MCU in my opinion: “We are NOT soldiers.” Know why? Because they aren’t. Hell, the only ones among them that are soldiers - and some by slim and emergency-driven margins - are Steve, Bucky, Rhodey, and Sam. The rest of them are brilliant, gifted, and tortured civilians trying to do the right thing. And to Tony Stark above all else, that means something. That means that they didn’t get training to deal with this shit. They didn’t choose for this to be their lives, necessarily. And above all, they don’t deserve to die. And even though Tony knows Coulson is a SHIELD agent, Tony still considers him a person before a disposable “soldier.” 13. Mother-fucking Marvel give me an entire series devoted to my Hawk Guy I need him. You have so much to work with and yet you’re so good at squandering him. I hate it. 14. In light of how bad NYC got fucked up, it’s honestly no wonder Jessica Jones has a drinking problem because I would too even without the personal loss, experimentation, and emotional maladjustment. 15. IN WHAT FUCKING POST-9/11 WORLD DO BUSINESS BUILDINGS NOT HAVE VERY STRICT EVACUATION PLANS. SERIOUSLY. I am a little mad that there are morons ogling out of office building windows when frankly that shit wouldn’t fly. Even on fucking 9/11 that shit didn’t fly and if you think NYC is less paranoid because 9/11 was a decade prior to this movie coming out, you’re wrong. Everyone remembers, and city evacuation ordinances will sure as hell never forget either. Come on Marvel. 16. As a point of interest my grandmother - who also went to see The Avengers with me when it was in theaters but not at the midnight showing like my mom - was 84 at the time and still sat through the whole thing with a bucket full of popcorn to herself, and her favorite moment to this day is when the Hulk tosses Loki around like a rag doll. She’s 90 now, and the Hulk is still her favorite character. 17. Mother-Fuckin Nick Fury will cock-block your nuclear strike with a bazooka because he thinks you’re that dumb. Do not test Nick Fury’s willingness to be Extra (TM) . You will lose. 18. Real talk, though, I’m really curious about whether the Chitauri actually are a hive mind race or, is it their technology that runs of a hive mind link? Because the armor at least on the giant toothy space whale monstrosities does not look organic - it looks implanted. The Chitauri foot soldiers also seem to have a unique biologically based interface with their weapons, armor, and technology in general, which begs the question of whether their biometric matrix is just somehow more inclined toward shared-existence technologies, or whether they self-engineered themselves into a corner by relying on said technologies too much. Seriously guys I have questions and why won’t Marvel give me answers. 19. As a final send-off, this is the first time Tony has ever driven an Acura in the MCU and I refuse to believe it’s not because of the Avengers “A” aesthetic. Tony is canonically an Audi man. Fight me on this.

Okay I’m seriously done for now it’s 1 AM and I need to sleep I have 4 more movies to get through tomorrow. I’ll be up and around and at my shit again in the morn.∞

[breadhyunn]

Good Things that happened this year.

This year pretty much changed who I am as a person, and of course, it came with it’s good and bad. Having learnt from the bad, I think we should all just focus on the good that happened this year.

One of the best things that happened to me this year, was, surprisingly, people. This post is to remind you all of the impact you’ve had on me. Each of you, from your own little corner of the world has helped make my days and nights better. So these 2 words come from the depth of my heart, with all the emphasis I can place and all the gratitude I can muster: Thank you. I hope each one of you finds strength similar to, if not greater than what you’ve given me.

The Good Things of 2017:

B.A.P

@roses-for-jongup honestly no amount of words can fully convey what you mean to me, and this is a fantastically sub par attempt. I’m the most comfortable with you, and that should say a lot. we’re armed with absolutely ridiculous knowledge about each other, and your smallest words, deeds, and eDITS have made me so happy. as I always say, you’re my ‘all of the above’, my mvp, and the only annoying person I’d take a couple of bullets for. a honeybun.

@anna-something to the world you may be a stoic powerful gal with a thunderous ability to tear us all a new one, but to me, you’re also a soft socialist grandma who sends me lovely drunk texts. You’ve changed the way I look at so many aspects of the world. I could literally talk to you about anything and have the time of my life. Your words probably matter to me the most. Thank you for improving me. I owe so much to you.

@daehyuns-beautiful-golden-skin michael, nothing makes me happier than you angrily key smashing at everything I say. You’ve made me feel better about myself, raised my self confidence, and always, always supported me. You’ve given me a shoulder to lean on and an ear to constantly rant to. Just remember, be it your memes, your dancing or your life in general, suds shall always be in the audience cheering you on.

@doitforbangyongguk I’m always stunned by how soon I got so comfortable with you, It’s just your aura. You’re hilarious, kind, and you’ve helped me through so much. DOOT DOOT.

@zeloswaffles Ah my sweet pancake mother who constantly complains about my unnecessary rudeness. Thank you for checking up on me, for taking an interest in me, for the advice, for everything.

@daehnii MY LOVELIEST WIFE, I swear we have the best conversations, and I’ve never met anyone with such similar opinions to mine. You’re the softest bean and every single message from you cheers me up. Gosh I love talking to you sosososososoooo much i just love you lei bye.

@foxjae you’re pretty much the reason I got motivated to write more. You always listen, you always contribute and I always learn something when I talk to you. And it makes me very happy knowing that you’re proud of me. You’ve called me out on my mistakes and I genuinely do appreciate it. The realest, coolest, queer mom.

@dreamermoonchan you’ve been there since the absolute beginning and I treasure you so much? You’re up for any kind of conversation, and we bond over so many shared interests. Thank you for making me feel welcome in the fandom.

@onlystraightforjongup a severely underrated conversationalist, you send me big paragraphs, I send you big paragraphs, and it’s bloody brilliant. If I have to endlessly hypothesise about B.A.P in all sorts of universes, I’m glad it’s with you. one of my absolute favourite people.

@jongup-is-an-enigma the most approachable and open person I know. You’re so fun, and you’ve made me feel like I’m fun too, ya know? This gal knows how to cheer someone up. I hope you know that I’m always here for you, and so is my butt.

@zainbap my lovely unicorn dad, one of the defining aspects of my experience here is you sighing at every second thing I do. Your random bouts of affection, subsequently followed by utter exasperation are what I thrive for. You’re a beacon of light to not just me, but the fandom. i hope youre proud of how soft I’m being.

@jion-a my first mother, president of the mom squad and also one of the first people who gave me a sense of belonging in the fandom. You’ve been so kind to me. I almost feel like I don’t deserve you. Thank you for being a constant pillar of support for this smol child.

@7btobap6 ahhh my fight aunt, trust me I’ve never enjoyed fighting with anyone as much as I do with you. Beyond our external layer of hatred for each other, I hope you know that nobody probably has understood my problems better than you. I love you lots.

@fae-hyun I miss you like a hellofa lot okay. I genuinely don’t know what I’d have done without you. My everpresent daestan, we have shed tears of pain thanks to our goofball of a bias, but it’s all worth it because you’re you. God knows I’m still the koala to your tree.

@bapofficial you’ve borne my constant annoying callouts, the never ending puns, and all the general screaming and frankly, this is a big achievement. You’re so positive and motivating and your mere presence makes me feel a little brighter.

@bap-time ah my local mean dispenser, i will always be your fight child. Thank you for having my back, encouraging my content, and smothering me with all that soft. I love you even though you have poor taste in fashion.

@thediebutterfly my timezone sharing niece, you’re a blessing to the fandom. I love that we’re on the same wavelength about a lot of things *cough*bangdae*cough* and I love freaking out with you. Thank you for tagging me in cute/rude/all kinds of posts, it makes me wonderfully happy.

@aegyo-chan you have such a calming air about you, It’s so pleasant, and feels like home. I love that I finally have someone to cry to about the exploits of Kim Himchan while simultaneously torturing you with Daehyun. I love how we bond over our similar cultures. And I’m so thankful for how lovely you’ve been to me.

@moondance-mp3 MY ONION I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED TALKING but I’m so glad we did. You never fail to make me laugh. We’re the queens of discourse now and no one can take that away from us. I love you as much as you love dae’s nose.

@bangedhim it’s all thanks to my lucky fate that I found you (see what i did there). weve been talking for longer than I can remember, wow. And you’re so goddamn entertaining. My cheeks hurt because of everything you send to me, the smiles just won’t stop. ily.

@daehdream remember that time I tried to adopt you and failed. Gosh golly everyone’s come a long way. I hope you know how much I and the fandom love and treasure you. an A+ fellow daestan and one of the strongest people I know.

@happy-daes my sweet billie bean, you’re very loved, and very strong and I’m always proud of you. All of your tags and all the sweet things you’ve said about me have made me feel loved too. Thank you.

@mooncakesjongup MY FIGHT ADI AUNTY, it was honestly the best thing for me to find out about how close we lived. Let the bollywood memes and b.a.p connections, and calling out each other’s kinks never stop.

@daesperado G IS THE MOST ADORABLE PERSON ON EARTH AND THAT’S THE COLD HARD TRUTH. You randomly popped into my dms and I’m hella happy you did because I got to know the wildest and cutest daestan ever. Bless your entire cute soul. Love blonde dae.

@brainboxercheetos pufffyyyyyy I always say this, but thank you so much for your unadulterated kindness. You’re true sunshine and you always send such supportive things to me, it’s heart warming. Keep being the lovely flower that you are.

@seren4moonjongup tezzy always leaves me tazed. From practically killing me with all those jongup stories to saving my life with brilliant words of advice. You’ve done it all, and I’m grateful.

@merlionmen we freakishly have a lot of common things between us, and it’s amazing. Thank you for calming me down, for bringing me face to face with reality, and generally agreeing that Leo is a loser. Romba Romba Nandri.

@feelsogukk you’ve always been so supportive of me and giving me motivation. Every time you call me your fav child my lifespan increases by 7 years. Thank you for all the giggles.

@daespacito you’re such a sweet soul, calling me out on my tags, complimenting my puns. I love seeing you in my activity AND YOU’RE DRAWINGS ARE MAGNIFICENT OKAY SHARE THEM WITH THE WORLD.

@sera-chyeah I truly adore how much you feed all babyz by tagging us in rude and soft content. You’re so lovely, and the fandom’s a better and more united place with you in it.

@talentedrice MY SMOL MY FIRST EVER CHILD you’re so cute, and your asks have never failed to make me happy. Thank you my bun, I’m very glad we’re talking more now.

@lulumonnie You’re a lovely hyper fluffy and wonderfully weird human and I couldn’t be happier that you’re in my life. Keep spreading the positivity in the fandom my lulu.

@blurrredpages there are so few people who genuinely have a heart of gold, and you are one of them. Thank you for being so radiant and giving. I’m sure you’ve helped not just me, but so many other babyz.

@baprice ari I’m still mad you don’t have asks open. I always thought your tags were hilarious and I’m so glad I bombarded you with messages. Some truly great content has come from conversations you. You’re wonderful. Plus all blonde dae enthusiasts are my best friends so you’re stuck with me.

@chenchenthedancingmachine the self proclaimed rejection inflicting daehyun to my love deprived himchan, my chair overlord, you’re legit one of the funniest people I know. Here’s to Jongdae, Jongup, tears and more. (ha)

@daefluffs @kitty-dae @daehoneyy @daehyunsgiggle @daehyunsbabyelf y'all are the most wonderful bunch of dae stans and I’m so glad that soft boy has fans like you all. We’re never going to have peace thanks to his extra ass and y'all are the best wartime soldiers I could’ve asked for. P.s, Stella, your tags on my posts make me cry bless you.

@sierahrt I know we don't talk much at all, but I really do appreciate you so much. From your amazing reviews of my fics (which are so motivating, believe me) to those lovely little asks you leave me. Thank you thank you thank you.

@soooldout @lightning-loving @b-ap @b-124a-p-224 @bbangmijae @shen-anakins you are lovely wonderful people, here’s to more screaming over B.A.P

Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year everyone! Sudi loves all of you a whole lot.

[dgcatanisiri]

So, for whatever reason, I got a message regarding this post that wasn’t mine to begin with and my only contribution on it was to add @flaminganakin‘s tags to it. I didn’t even add a tag rant of my own.

be thankful they weren't sith. if they were, they would force you to kill your parents. or even torture them.

And you know something? I feel like there ought to be some third option that isn’t one of two different flavors of psychologically inflicting trauma on children in order to perpetuate your version of religious doctrine. Call me crazy.

Sure, the Sith are clear in their forms of abusing their initiates. Nothing is off the table when it comes to how to ‘teach’ Sith. They’re pit against one another to determine who is the strongest, and they have such an attrition rate, one wonders how they even manage to survive, considering how many die before they even become an apprentice, let alone complete their training.

But the Jedi are engaged in psychological trauma all their own. The kind that would have CPS remove children on the spot if they were called in IRL.

Like, let’s build off of the three images in the cited post. 

In the first one, sure, the Padawans have been kidnapped by outside forces and are being hunted. But here’s the thing: This is an occupational hazard of being a Jedi. Kidnapping, torture, abuse, death... This is a day in the life for a Jedi. And we have, canonically, children of relative ages of fourteen, maybe even less, being sent into these situations. Like, I’m not talking about these kidnapped younglings, I’m talking about Padawans on a standard issue Jedi mission.

The Jedi Apprentice books, showing Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s time together, starts on the cusp of Obi-Wan’s thirteenth birthday. In the course of their first year, Obi-Wan has multiple near death encounters, all of which directly stem from his involvement as a Jedi initiate. 

And this is considered to be Jedi business under normal circumstances. Even if those books no longer qualify as canon, they could comfortably be retconned into modern continuity with no issue.

Ahsoka is a Jedi apprentice in a time of war. She is fourteen and made a senior officer in the “Grand Army of the Republic.” A commander. At fourteen. She is nothing less than a child soldier, a child OFFICER, and NO. ONE. questions this. 

Not that anyone questions the clones as child soldiers okay this is about the handling of Force users we’ll save that one for another day.

So that leads us to the second image, of Ahsoka walking away from the Jedi temple. She was framed for a bombing, and what is the Jedi Council’s reaction? Toss her to the wolves out for blood and wash our hands of it. They expelled her. They didn’t even listen to her side of the story on the basis of circumstantial evidence. Literally, if Anakin hadn’t been so determined to find the truth, she’d have been tried by the Republic and, considering the fact that she’d be convicted of treason at a time of war, probably sentenced to life in prison, if not outright execution. Tarkin was running the definition of a kangaroo court, one that comes right after the Jedi’s own.

And then the Jedi Council wants to say ‘oopsie, our bad! Here, have a promotion, and we’ll forget the whole thing!’ Because they weren’t willing to listen to the truth, they wanted expediency. They throw out a lot of words about justice and truth, but when they’re put under the slightest bit of pressure from the Republic, they cave and bend or break their morals. And then, when proven wrong, rather than acknowledge their screw up, they want to sweep it under the rug entirely and forget about it.

So finally we reach the final image, of Anakin himself. And hoo boy, there are metas on this subject alone. Yoda sends Obi-Wan to Mustafar for an assassination. They don’t care about the why of him going to the dark side, Obi-Wan just goes there to kill him. They spend no time wondering what they did that led him to that point - Obi-Wan saw Anakin just before his fall, and had no clue, Yoda spoke to Anakin shortly before it all went to shit and likewise couldn’t tell what emotional turmoil he was in.

And let’s recap Anakin’s life - he spent his childhood on Tatooine as a slave, was ‘freed’ from that life, only to turn around and end up in a strict structure where he again had to defer to ‘masters’ who determined the course of his life with a casual thought. They dismiss him almost from the moment he met them, condemn him for feeling afraid when his life had literally just changed entirely, and, had Obi-Wan not sworn to Qui-Gon that he would train him, they’d have probably kicked Anakin out onto the streets of Coruscant to fend for himself (granted I refuse to believe, had such a thing happened, that there is any single parallel universe in existence where Anakin wouldn’t be taken in by Padme and/or the handmaidens...). 

And they allow Supreme Chancellor Palpatine unfettered access to him. A grown ass man having free access to Anakin Skywalker, a nine year old Padawan. Even if Palps weren’t a Sith Lord, you can’t possibly avoid the sketchy implications of that, especially given what’s in the news right now. 

The Jedi do not stop to ask ‘what did we do wrong?’ They put all the blame on individuals - sadly, The Clone Wars series ends before anyone can ask the questions of why Bariss did what she did, the validity of her reasoning, but even had Ahsoka been responsible, they tossed her to the wolves without even asking why, without even bothering to find out why. They decide that Anakin deserves to die without asking what made him do it.

When students repeatedly fail, one has to question where the fault lies - the student? The teacher? The lesson itself? But the Jedi always blame the student. Which is an abuse all its own - it teaches the student that the teachings are infallible. And, with Yoda holding the position of Grand Master for centuries, that this one being is infallible, because he has held that position for so long, and he’s never fallen, so he must have all the answers. Unfortunately, from his gilded perch, he hasn’t bothered to ask questions in centuries.

Am I saying the Sith have it better? Oh hell no. But the Sith DO NOT FACTOR INTO THIS EQUATION AT ALL. This is all about the way the Jedi treat their ‘students,’ and, again, any reasonable authority would consider this child abuse under any circumstances. And the Jedi, having the authority that they do, are able to set the rules and see nothing wrong with it. 

[wr1tersblock42]

Out of Time Chapter 12

Chapter 12 from my B/V fic Out of Time is up!

Out of Time Summary:

Vegeta and his eight year old son Trunks go back in time to warn the past of the Androids' arrival. When the machine needs repairing the two of them are stuck. At least the past has good food! There's just one problem... Bulma begins to fall in love with Future Vegeta, instead of his younger self. Can Vegeta ensure his son's birth, defeat the Androids, and save the world?

Chapter 12:

His sensitive ears, alert even in the depths of sleep, heard the beep of the door unlocking and the hiss as it slid open immediately. Vegeta opened his eyes and saw the looming horned figure in the doorway, illuminated by the dimmed runway lights of the ship corridor. He sat bolt upright in his bed, shoving off his threadbare covers, then scrambled backwards into the corner of the walls. As the hair on his tail puffed out in fright, he wrapped it around his waist protectively, baring his teeth at the intruder with a feral growl. The monster might have only been a head taller than Vegeta, who had always been small for his age, but he was well aware that size and power were unrelated and that his master could crush him like a bug if he wished it. 

Read Out of Time on FFic or keep reading below.

Nappa had warned him the monster might come tonight. All the beatings and torture hadn't rid Vegeta of his irreverence towards the self proclaimed Lord of the Universe, and despite both Nappa and Raditz begging him to at least construct a pretense of deference, Vegeta had refused. He was the Prince of all Saiyans. He bowed to no one.

But after seven years of insubordination from the Saiyan child, the rumours were that Frieza had decided drastic measures were necessary.

"Don't fight back," Nappa had said in a hushed whisper after their evening meal. "Please, Sire, if you fight back it will never stop."

Vegeta hadn't known what he'd been specifically referring to, but had gone through enough beatings to understand from Nappa's tones that this one would be brutal. "I will never submit," he'd said stiffly. His pride was the only thing he had left, the only thing Frieza couldn't take away. The only thing that had to be offered willingly.

It was easy to be brave in the fluorescent lights of the ship, with Frieza nowhere to be seen.

Here in the dark, even though Vegeta had excellent night vision, it was more of a challenge to keep his limbs from trembling.

"Hello, my pet." The velvety voice curled through the room, making Vegeta stiffen.

Show no fear. The young prince swallowed and clenched his fists. He stood up, the height of the mattress making him almost eye level with Frieza, who had entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"You don't look surprised to see me." Frieza walked up to the edge of the bed, then brought his long tail up to Vegeta's chest and tapped on his armour.

He'd worn it to bed, knowing it wouldn't help, but feeling safer nonetheless. "A warrior is always prepared," Vegeta replied, proud of how calm his voice came out.

"Indeed." Frieza's eyes narrowed as one side of his mouth turned up. "You won't be needing that tonight, little prince."

The monster's tail flicked back and forth, then slammed into Vegeta. Even though he'd been mentally prepared for it, the crushing weight of the limb hitting him and shattering his armour - armour made from the strongest material in the known universe - left him winded.

He sank to his knees on the mattress, wheezing noisily as he desperately attempted to suck in oxygen. The remnants of his Saiyan armour, meant to protect him through brutal battles, scattered on the bed as they fell from his body with each shuddering breath.

Frieza reached out a clawed hand and wrapped it around Vegeta's throat, lifting him into the air until his legs dangled above the bed. Unable to breath once again, the boy kicked out frantically, to no avail. The monster reached out with his other hand and stroked the Saiyan's tail in a surprisingly gentle manner that made Vegeta's skin crawl.

"So soft," Frieza said, a grin widening on his lips. He forcefully unwound it from Vegeta's waist, then dropped the Saiyan to the bed, keeping his hand on the tail. With a quick yank, he pulled Vegeta from the bed with the limb, then started dragging Vegeta out of his room by his tail.

Vegeta couldn't help cry out at the pain, burning tears pricking at his eyes from the mistreatment of his sensitive tail, but he grit his teeth against it and against the humiliation of being pulled through the hallways like an animal on a lead. Frieza hauled him down several corridors before opening the door to a large central chamber that Vegeta had unfortunately had the privilege of visiting plenty of times before.

The expansive empty space didn't look like much, with its metal walls undecorated except for a wide observation window that anyone in the room next door could use to spy on the 'entertainment'. Similar areas on this ship were used for training, but the metallic scent of blood was stronger than anywhere else on this hellish vessel. The 'death chamber', the soldiers had dubbed it, for few had the good fortune of surviving. Vegeta seemed to be the odd exception, with his status as Frieza's 'pet' coming with strict instructions that included not being killed, or harmed in any permanent way.

Frieza flung him into the centre of the room, making him skid along the ground until he hit a pair of boots. Vegeta looked up to see Zarbon standing over him, his gaze fixed on Frieza.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Zarbon asked, his tone betraying his curiosity as to why his master had just thrown his pet at his feet.

"I have found myself in debt twice today," Frieza replied. "First by my dear little prince who I owe a lesson in manners, and second to you for the last exemplary work you did negotiating the buyer for planet F-116B."

Vegeta attempted to sit up, realising he was being thrown to Zarbon for punishment, but the green man's foot lifted and slammed down on his stomach, pinning him to the ground.

"Thank you sir. Am I correct in assuming you would like me to deliver the monkey's lesson?"

"Indeed. And as a gift, I'm lifting all restrictions I had placed on your prior lessons with the young prince, except death. Keep him alive, Zarbon. Other than that… do whatever you wish."

Vegeta bit back a whimper as Zarbon finally dropped his eyes from Frieza and glanced down at the prince, his eyes glinting with something dark that somehow filled Vegeta with more dread than Frieza had.

"Thank you for this gift, my Lord," Zarbon replied, his smooth voice alight with anticipation. "I will endeavour to ensure the lesson is not soon forgotten."

"I am certain you will not disappoint," Frieza said, waving his hand in mock farewell as he started to leave the chamber. "I want my pet ready to submit by morning."

The door hissed closed again and Zarbon's boot dug deeper, drawing a husky gasp from Vegeta's throat.

"Are you ready, little prince?" Zarbon asked, lifting his foot and then kneeling beside Vegeta. "This is going to be fun."

"There is nothing you can do that will make me submit," Vegeta hissed. "I will play soldier and purge planets murder on behalf of Frieza, but I will not-"

Zarbon's fist to his face cut him off and he rolled into his side, spitting out blood.

"You will," Zarbon said. "You have no idea how much everyone has been holding back, do you? Frieza didn't want his pet maimed too much. Now though…" he chuckled and cracked his knuckles.

"You can beat me to death and I still will not bow to that monster."

"Beat you?" Zarbon let out a low chuckle. "Ah, little prince, you will be begging me to merely beat you after I am through with you."

Vegeta felt his skin tingle as the blood drained from his face. He'd heard of Zarbon's unique methods of torture of course, but had chalked most of it up to rumours. When Zarbon's hand reached out and touched Vegeta's cheek, the Saiyan flinched.

Zarbon laughed at Vegeta's reaction and the prince flushed, ashamed of revealing the fear that had been invoked within him.

"Let's start with the traditional beating, shall we?" Zarbon stood up, then slammed his foot into Vegeta's side, sending him across the room. "I like my victims compliant."

Trunks woke up slowly and glanced around the bedroom. It was pitch black, and there were no sounds, but he knew something had awoken him. His gaze fell to his father on the other side of the room. He didn't move other than the harsh rise and fall of his chest as he breathed a little heavier than usual. Trunks could hear Vegeta's heartbeat though, and it pounded loud and fast as if he were in the middle of a fierce battle.

No!

Trunks winced and touched his temples at his father's mental cry. Vegeta's ki flared wildly, and the terror in the psychic connection Vegeta had unwittingly opened with Trunks in his sleep made it apparent that the man was having a nightmare.

Trunks dragged himself out of bed and padded over to his father. "Papa?" He shook the man's shoulder but he didn't wake.

Don't touch me! Vegeta cried out, sending a shooting pain through Trunks' head. The boy yelped and dropped to his knees as flashes of images that didn't make much sense slammed into his mind - metal walls, a twisted green face, and blood, Kami so much blood.

"Papa!" Trunks struggled to his feet and shook his father harder. "Wake up!"

Vegeta let out a roar and sat up, his hand reaching for Trunks' throat. The boy dodged and retaliated automatically, slamming his fist into his father's jaw.

Vegeta fell backwards onto the bed and let out a groan, touching the bruise Trunks knew he must have caused. The man blinked a few times, then peered at Trunks.

"What… what are you doing?"

"You were having a nightmare…" Trunks hesitated for a moment, then opted to leave out the part where his father had shared some images of it. Vegeta's mental walls were powerful and such events were a rare occurrence. Telling him would only upset him. "It woke me up."

Vegeta sat up slowly and rubbed his face, breathing out heavily. He turned on the bedside lamp then glanced back up at Trunks, his face pale. "Did I hurt you?"

Trunks shook his head. "You're not that quick when you're asleep," he said, offering a small smile.

Vegeta growled in response, but there was no real anger behind it. He looked tired, Trunks realised. They'd been in the past for a while now but his father didn't look any less exhausted than he had when they were trying to stay hidden from the androids and build the time machine.

"Go back to bed," Vegeta said quietly, a small shake in his voice betraying how unnerved he was. He flicked off the light, plunging them into darkness, although their Saiyan genes meant they could both see well enough.

Vegeta lay back down, but Trunks stayed where he was beside his father's bed.

"Go!" Vegeta snapped.

"I…" Trunks swallowed hard. His father would mock him for eternity for being scared, but the images Trunks had seen kept floating through his mind. "Can I sleep in your bed?"

"What? Gods, Trunks, you're…" Vegeta trailed off with a sigh. "Fine."

When his father shuffled over on the small bed, Trunks climbed in before he could change his mind.

"If you steal the blankets, you're out," Vegeta muttered, pulling them up over the two of them.

Trunks smiled to himself and curled up next to his father. He pushed away the images of his father's nightmare, trying not to dwell on the question of whether or not it was really just a nightmare. Or a memory.

Bulma stumbled into the kitchen sleepily, drawn by the rich smell of coffee and bacon. She fought back a yawn, and settled her gaze on Trunks who shoveled food into his mouth with impressive speed and dexterity.

"Good morning," she said with a tired smile, slipping into a seat at the table.

"Mph," Trunks replied, his mouth full of pancakes and bacon. He quickly glanced up at her and then stared at his plate.

She glanced at the kitchen, expecting to see her mother, but to her infinite surprise, it was Vegeta who stood at the cooktop, flipping a large pancake with one hand while holding a coffee mug with the other. Even though she knew this was a future version of Vegeta, not the man she knew, she couldn't help the shock of seeing him perform such a domesticated task.

"You're… cooking." She gaped at him and he gave her a frown in return.

"Something wrong?" He asked grumpily.

"No…" She drank him in, trying not to focus on him too much less she gave away how much the way his black t-shirt clung to his muscles made her feel. "It's just unexpected."

Her closer inspection made her realise that he looked as tired as she felt. His hair was rumpled he had a fading purple bruise on his jaw, and the skin around his eyes was dark. She'd been up all night concocting the final cure to give to Goku today. What had he been doing?

"I am a man of many talents," Vegeta said, the corner of his mouth lifting. "Unlike you, my food actually tastes edible."

Bulma huffed at that, but could hardly argue - cooking was not her forte. "Mom will be up soon," she said, taking a plate and placing some bacon from the middle of the table on it dubiously. "You could have waited."

Vegeta took a long drink of his coffee before replying. "Trunks was hungry."

"Can I have chocolate chip next?" Trunks asked, leaning back in his chair and motioning to his now empty plate.

Vegeta grunted in reply then put his mug down. He poured more batter into the pan and scooped out a handful of chocolate chips before scattering them into the cooking pancake, then flipped the pancake with expert precision, like something out of a MasterChef episode.

Bulma tentatively took a bite of the bacon. It was hot and crispy and seared with maple syrup… when did the man who once put a small pot in the microwave and blew it up learn to cook?

"Your mother taught me," Vegeta said as if he'd read her mind.

"How'd she manage to convince you to let her teach you?"

Vegeta shrugged then brought over Trunks his pancake and pulled a plate piled with them out of the over. He brought it over to the table and sat next to Trunks then started devouring his own breakfast.

Trunks kept glancing at Bulma and looking away quickly. He opened his mouth a couple of times as if he wanted to say something, but when she caught his eye a faint blush appeared on his cheeks and he looked down again.

"Spit it out," Vegeta snarled in between bites, elbowing his son.

Trunks spluttered then looked up at Bulma. "Are you… are you coming to the park today?"

"The park?" Bulma asked before realising her mother had mentioned it yesterday. "Oh! I uh…"

"Gohan's coming," Trunks said, a smile creeping onto his face. "And Goku and I think even young Papa might come if Nana has bribed him with enough food."

"I should probably come," Bulma said slowly. "If only to make sure that idiot doesn't blow up the amusement park."

Vegeta scowled at that and opened his mouth to say something, but Trunks jumped out of his chair in glee.

"Yay! I'm going to go get ready. I can't wait, I've been looking forward to this for two years!" He started to skip out of the room, leaving half a chocolate chip pancake on his plate.

"Excuse me," Vegeta growled, giving Trunks a pointed look. At his son's blank look he raised one eyebrow.

Trunks cheeks burst with colour - he was so much like his father Bulma wanted to squeal at the adorableness of it. He scuttled back to the table then sat primly in his chair. "May I please be excused?" he ground out.

Vegeta took a large bite of his pancake and chewed slowly, dragging it out until Trunks was jiggling in his seat with impatience. When he finished, he still didn't say anything, but glanced at Trunks' plate then back at his son.

Trunks' bottom lip stuck out, but he hurriedly finished the remainder of the food on his plate before trying again. "Now, may I please be excused?"

"Are you certain you've eaten enough?" Vegeta cast a frown at his son, looking him up and down.

Trunks nodded sharply. "Yes, sir."

"Very well," Vegeta said, coating his pancakes in maple syrup. "You are dismissed."

Trunks leapt of his chair and disappeared from the room in a flash, probably in case his father changed his mind. Bulma couldn't help staring at Vegeta. She'd always felt that the man wasn't evil - not like some of the Z fighters believed. Morally ambiguous, perhaps. Rude and arrogant, definitely. Still, she couldn't believe that this Vegeta was so different than the one she knew. This Vegeta might have been ten years older, and it was clear that he was strict, but it was equally obvious that he doted on the boy, and cared for him deeply.

"What?" Vegeta caught her gaze with a scowl.

Bulma chewed her lip, sinking into those dark eyes. "Nothing," she finally said, tearing herself away to concentrate on her own breakfast.

Vegeta hadn't wanted to admit that he hadn't known what an 'amusement park' was when he'd somehow been convinced by the blonde witch, with promises of delicious human food (which was some of the best in the universe, not that he'd ever admit that aloud), to attend this outing. Now that he was here, he found himself appalled at the stench of humans, dropped food, and cigarette butts. The only acceptable scent was that of terror permeating from some some of the larger rides - roller coasters, the boy called them - but even that wasn't real terror. These humans didn't know what true fear was.

He watched as his older self was dragged around by his hand towards the largest roller coaster in the amusement park. He didn't understand what was so thrilling about it - by the gods, the boy could fly, and travel faster than that ridiculous piece of human machinery.

Kakarot's brat danced ahead of them, with his idiot father bumbling along behind him, stuffing his face with donuts. Vegeta grimaced in disgust. How did he end up here? He was a bloodthirsty warrior, a purger of planets, and somehow he'd been convinced to attend this pathetic excursion?

He knew it wasn't just the food, but also the child that had pushed him into dragging himself along. Curiosity that drew him towards the boy, making him study the boy's mannerisms, which were so like his own, and his laugh, which was a high chirp just like his mother's. Even if Trunks had looked nothing like him it would have been obvious that the child was his son - his ki radiated on a wavelength that was painfully familiar. The way the boy's ki pulsated around him made his chest ache with longing. He knew that if he closed his eyes he would almost be able to image he was back on Planet Vegeta, surrounded by his Saiyan peers.

While Kakarot's spawn may as well have been human, with his soft nature and naivety, the purple haired boy's Saiyan blood coursed through his veins proudly, showing in both his features and his willful personality. The boy followed his father around, emulating his every move, from the way he stood, back always straight, to the press of his lips and narrowing of his eyes when angry. Vegeta knew he had done the same when he was a boy, believing his father to be worthy of such respectful imitation. He hadn't been worthy. Vegeta would have been better to do the exact opposite of anything his father did, but seeing the boy's blatant admiration for his father was nostalgic at the very least. He wondered how worthy his future self was of his son's devotion. The only thing Vegeta had done in his life was kill and destroy, but this man was ten years older. He had ten years out of Frieza's crushing thumb on him.

The woman, the one destined to become the mother of his child in another universe, moved between the two father child pairs, chattering away. Her odd blue hair glimmered in the bright sun, flicking from side to side with each of her airy movements. She was ethereal, flittering through the crowds of people, radiating light and joy despite knowing that the world as she knew it could very well be at an end in three years. Vegeta watched as his older self's gaze fell on her, the deep furrow of his brow softening. The older version of him had allowed himself to soften, allowed this woman to worm her way through his walls and wrap her emotional tentacles around him.

But seeing her red lips curve up in a smile, and the way her hips moved as she dodged other people, and the way her eyes half shut when she laughed… he could begin to understand why she was appealing to the dark, cold depths of his heart.

There had been a moment, before he left to hunt in space for Kakarot, where he'd been sure the woman had felt something for him. He'd never been great at reading people, using violence instead of diplomacy to get his way, but the clues were in the way she'd reach out and touch his arm in the middle of a (albeit argumentative) conversation, and how her eyes followed him across the yard. Now though, her soft touches were primarily focussed on his older counterpart. Her gaze flicked over Vegeta as if he were nothing, then settled of the future version of him and stayed, accompanied with a quirk of her lips.

Vegeta stopped following them and stood still, clenching his fists as it hit him. If his future self hadn't turned up, this woman could have been his. Instead, she was drawn to his older counterpart, a man who could use and understand human facial expressions, telling her how he felt about her with his eyes instead of hiding behind thinly veiled insults. A man who responded to her touch not with flinching, brought on by years of abuse where any physical contact always meant pain, but by leaning into her.

A man who wielded the power of the legendary.

The crowds of people faded around him, their arms scraping past him as he remained still, their stink irritating his nostrils. With a growl, Vegeta took to the air and blasted back to Capsule Corp. His future self could have the woman. He didn't want her, he never had. He did not care. He did not care.

He did not care.

[kiiruna-aa]

he spoke to me.   his voice was carried on heavy breathing. he was panting, yet pushing every syllable through his throat with such excitement, & his mouth formed into a grin. i could spot his teeth through his momentary laughter ; fangs of a canine biting at his bottom lip. the line was crooked yet held a charm that no model in the upcoming cologne commercial could compete with. his words gave me an awakening.   his voice struggled to pull through. his adam's apple could not keep up with his words ; his tongue tied & his jaw rolled until he had his breath back again. he stuttered, but it was from childish excitement, & that made the voice so incredibly human. it washed over me with it's joys, it's fears, it's mortality. the child that lived inside a soldier's body. his shout called my name. my heart twists for him before my head has even had the chance to turn & see ; i have become nothing better than a dog loyal to his master, a knight by the side of his king, & never have i felt my life & my whole existence so raw & with so much gratitude as when i am important enough to be something he speaks of, to, with.   his whispers reached my ear with heat. his breath sent my body jolting, & even though i knew it was not a dream this time i barely dared to open my eyes. his voice had never sounded so tender, & he spoke comfort to me which put seeds inside my skin that i knew would blossom into a garden i would have been too blind to see before that smile he wore took the veil off my face & blessed me with a kiss. he looked at me.   his eyes drilled through my soul, tearing me apart like a saw, opening me up like the sweetest of torture. it felt like he could see right through me ; every speck of admiration, every drop of affection, as if it was all pouring down my face in the form of a loud, childlike cry. never had anyone ever looked at me & made me feel like my every bloodcell was a nebula exploding, stars dying & being reborn, making all the noises in the room vanish cause my heart was drumming so loud that from the other side of the room, i knew he could hear it.   he was full of remorse. the clear blue sky that wrapped around his pupil like candy wrapper was revealed to be salty licorice, unpleasant on the tongue. from a man which looked down at me no matter where i was, so tall that he might as well have been an angel guarding me from up in the sky, was suddenly transformed into a kicked puppy before my eyes ; a broken man which knew he had done wrong & it wasn't his first time. his stare turned my heart into stone & i admired him even more. how could he be so deific when he was also so broken? who had looked out for him when i had looked at him for all these years?   his eyes worshiped. they bowed down at my body as if it was a temple, observing me with the hungry eyes yet humble heart of a missionary in front of his god. his gaze made me into the holy artifact in the room, & he truly made me feel as if my skin was made of gold & my veins would spill diamonds if i ever dared to harm my own skin again. when his clear blue optics traversed across the broken & imperfect parts of me ; it was kintsugi. he touched me,   he pulled me back. he had spotted his name on my back, years before he even knew who he would be in the years to come where his lips would travel across that very back & count the birthmarks like constellations. he wanted me to have the best day of my life, even though he didn't know who i was, & i was too anxious to even speak my name. he pulled me even though i was actually nothing to him. he had no clue of the hours of my life i had spent in an old volvo with leathered seats just to see him as a dot on a white background among hundreds of other people. he cared for me even when i was no one.   i leaned on him before i had even noticed it. my life had been depending on him for so long ; he had been my inspiration, my motivation, & the hand which reached out to me before he had even first wrapped a single arm around me. it came almost automatically, as if my soul was drawn to him like a magnet. with the alcohol rushing through my lovesick veins i had so much to blame & so little to lose. he put his arm around me. he made me someone special ; he made me different from everyone else at that very bar, in the very universe which molded us, because i was the only one with his arm around their shoulders. he touched me to protect me from my own lack of sensibility ; the glass in my hand was once again empty. he had let me buy the drinks no one else thought i should buy. in more ways than one, he made me feel safe.   our lips collided so hard his tooth hurt my lip but i couldn't care. the cheers of a thousand people was deafening to my ears ; my pulse was rushing through my ears like the strongest wind, numbing my lip from the swelling that was to come. his hands were cold, sweaty, & on my cheeks, but i had no idea where he had put his gloves. i almost fell in the collision of our bodies but he had me right where he wanted me ; with him on the ice, in front of the whole world. he touched me in front of a million eyes & through hundreds of bad decisions, i felt that he would never take this one back. his adrenaline tasted sweet on my tongue & it's stayed there for another year until our teeth dug into our golden medals & danced through the taste of champagne. he listened to me.    sometimes he would hear my voice before i even spoke. he would read my body like a language & ask my questions without personal gain. he made me promises so genuine & thorough it seemed as if my words were a bible he studied so well his fingers could find the right passages without a golden string. he reassured me that he would never hurt me. he assured me of it before the first time i laid in his bed, when my voice was so hurt & defeated the cry had swallowed it whole, before he first spread my legs, & before he first showed me the teeth a man with a wolf in his blood can bear. he listened to my fears straight from my quivering heart & my doe eyes.   he listened to me when i was angry. when i was frustrated, when i was sad, & when i yelled. he wanted to hear me better so he pulled me closer. instead of pushing me out, blaming me, or saving himself from the guilt & the pain that could be inflicted from my venomous tongue, he wrapped his arms around me & pulled me closer to his chest so he could listen not only with his ears but through the mere organ pumping life from the top of his head to his toes. he listened to me sobbing without words for hours & he never complained or raised his voice to make me quiet. he never kissed me to shut me up ; i was too important to him.   he listened to me when i told him i loved him more than my own life ; more than everything i have made, achieved, conquered or gained. more than any matter in the universe he captivates me. more than any miracle he is special to me. despite that, he says he loves me more.

the memoirs of a lionheart. frej kristoffer blom , if he knew how to make a poem. we love @stckhlmr on his birthday & all the remaining days of the year. his diversity has inspired us since day one. this is a tribute to all the different colors that is two-shot. all that’s missing is the smell of axe & some haribo. maybe next year?