#( BUT W/E I HOPE U KNOW I FUCKING LOVE ANDREW TO DEATH & HE GOT ME TO WHERE I AM TODAY )

[0l-unreliable]

God I’m such a whore for fem!andreil (but maybe that’s cuz I’m a lesbian hah) but ESPECIALLY your fem!andreil

LOVE the way you draw them!!!!!- their expressions are always so on point, I love the colours and their overall character design (I hope this makes sense? I mean like when I think of fem!andreil that’s exactly how I picture them (it’s the same with andreil too, I think I just adore the way you draw them :D)) you’re an incredible artist I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOME LOVE CUZ GODDAMMNIT YOU DESERVE IT

I would happily listen to you talk about your AUs forever

Thank you so so muchhhh

Fuck I’m so gay

(Also regarding the visibility of you post I can’t see it either on your page or when looking through hashtags; I only saw it cuz I got notifications turned on for every time you post so I got the notification; unfortunately tumblr is shit when it comes to posting mature content which is a big shame :((()

((Also I would love to order some cute things from your shop but Etsy says you unfortunately don’t ship to my countryyy :((( which is a shame, I have no control when it comes to buying cute things)

LOVE U <3333

Hope you have a great day!!!

(sitting in my bed kicking my feet as I read this btw) andreil is so fun to draw, but drawing them gender-bent always feels a bit like I'm pandering to myself so hearing others like the way I portray them makes me sob joyously. I'm not too pressed about the lack of visibility though it's a shame it won't open many eyes to the wonders of female Andrew.

believe it or not, there is an AU for the recent ladies too (shocking I know). In my head, Neil is married to Riko somehow and he dies or w/e, and Andrew is the noir detective that was hired to 'investigate' his death; or alternatively, one of the other foxes is hired by him to see if she's faithful to their sham of a marriage (of course, who would be when Andrea is wearing thigh-highs? come on). It's the barest hint of a noir detective lesbian pwp story

As for my etsy, I'd like to open it up more but I want to make sure I have a handle on everything first, hearing that at least one person wants my trinkets outside of the US is radical though

(thank you, btw, for having notifications on. that's not a possibility i considered, having someone like my stuff enough to want to see it as soon as it comes out)

[herestomyhaters]

just finished love, victor season 2 & boy do i got a lot to say. beware the major spoilers & just fyi, this is comin' at you by a black, bisexual girl. PULL THE LEVER KRONK!

i don't really know who to blame 4 this, & i'm not one to dislike protagonists just because, it's just... is it me or are all other characters more developed + nuanced than victor is? i'd like to see who he is beyond the relationship drama. i mean all we really know abt him is that he loves basketball & we barely even saw anything about that this season (besides the whole homophobic lockerroom extravaganza)

mia brooks is defo giving me Best Girl. there's sth about her that warms my heart, and i think a big part of that is how rachel hilson brings her to life. it really makes u care about her. that being said, i wanna see more! i feel like they could be digging a lot deeper w/ her yet they never really do. hopefully s3 will be the one

ah, the whole benji situation. i'm not gonna lie, i don't really like benji. his relationship w/ victor was almost too perfect & bubbly for me, then it was a hot mess and they kept fighting over every single thing. i kept getting major gaslight vibes from him. i don't really think they belong together, though we should probably cut benji some slack since he has been dealing w/ a lot. i need him to own up about his white privilege tho

speaking of whites, felix weston! my man! he's one of my faves what do you want me to tell ya. seeing him in so much pain broke my heart but i love that they gave him more depth besides being the quirky, socially awkward bestie. he's one of my favourite characters 4 sure

which brings me to his relationship w/ lake. honest: i never really shipped them. they're dynamic was fun in s1 (though it was giving a bit too much stydia imo), though i never fully recovered from lake being embarrassed to publicly date him. they just didn't quite do it for me. and that's probably for the best cause... HELLO? BISEXUAL LAKE? LET'S FUCKING GO?! ngl i always thought if we got bi rep it would be w/ pilar, but i'm not mad abt this at all !!!

pilar !!! my bestie !!! my favourite serial killer vibes, billie-eilish-stanning e-girl. let's be honest she was kinda giving me pick-me vibes all season which didn't really seem like her? i could see the attitude in her style & snarky comments (which i both love), but i felt like sth was missing? maybe, just maybe... a plotline that isn't about simping for your brother's best friend who is in a relationship?

don't even get me wrong, i really like pilix! in that scene in s1, i did get the feeling sth could happen between them someday. i never really imagined they'd go abt it this way tho (i mean did we even see where pilar's feelings came from?), but i get how it's interesting to see felix being crushed on for a change. their chemistry is everything, i do wish the pining would've lasted longer (what can i say, a bitch loves slow-burn)

which is the same i can say for vahim. that's right baby, it's finally time to let y'all know where i stand. and where i stand is HERE. i love rahim to the death (also pilar & him are best duo!), he is hilarious & awesome but my god why is this show obsessed w/ getting characters into relationships when they've just exited one? barely?! absolute same thing w/ felix. it's kind of nasty & just makes rahim and pilar look like the rebounds

SIMON SPIER. WITH A BEARD. the power this mf holds cause 1 minute of his screentime had me crying like no other scene did. then victor saying he doesn't need him anymore?? well I DO ??!! i really hope they'll bring him back 😫

forgot to mention andrew so here it is: i love him, he's an amazing loving himbo jock bf. nothing else to say

all in all, i feel like a lot of situations could've been handled differently, and there's so much i haven't mentioned cause this season was PACKED (feel free to rant below). it's understandable i guess, so i'll end with these wise words by meghann fahy: it's tv BABY, people love drama!

[kiiruna-aa]

he spoke to me.   his voice was carried on heavy breathing. he was panting, yet pushing every syllable through his throat with such excitement, & his mouth formed into a grin. i could spot his teeth through his momentary laughter ; fangs of a canine biting at his bottom lip. the line was crooked yet held a charm that no model in the upcoming cologne commercial could compete with. his words gave me an awakening.   his voice struggled to pull through. his adam's apple could not keep up with his words ; his tongue tied & his jaw rolled until he had his breath back again. he stuttered, but it was from childish excitement, & that made the voice so incredibly human. it washed over me with it's joys, it's fears, it's mortality. the child that lived inside a soldier's body. his shout called my name. my heart twists for him before my head has even had the chance to turn & see ; i have become nothing better than a dog loyal to his master, a knight by the side of his king, & never have i felt my life & my whole existence so raw & with so much gratitude as when i am important enough to be something he speaks of, to, with.   his whispers reached my ear with heat. his breath sent my body jolting, & even though i knew it was not a dream this time i barely dared to open my eyes. his voice had never sounded so tender, & he spoke comfort to me which put seeds inside my skin that i knew would blossom into a garden i would have been too blind to see before that smile he wore took the veil off my face & blessed me with a kiss. he looked at me.   his eyes drilled through my soul, tearing me apart like a saw, opening me up like the sweetest of torture. it felt like he could see right through me ; every speck of admiration, every drop of affection, as if it was all pouring down my face in the form of a loud, childlike cry. never had anyone ever looked at me & made me feel like my every bloodcell was a nebula exploding, stars dying & being reborn, making all the noises in the room vanish cause my heart was drumming so loud that from the other side of the room, i knew he could hear it.   he was full of remorse. the clear blue sky that wrapped around his pupil like candy wrapper was revealed to be salty licorice, unpleasant on the tongue. from a man which looked down at me no matter where i was, so tall that he might as well have been an angel guarding me from up in the sky, was suddenly transformed into a kicked puppy before my eyes ; a broken man which knew he had done wrong & it wasn't his first time. his stare turned my heart into stone & i admired him even more. how could he be so deific when he was also so broken? who had looked out for him when i had looked at him for all these years?   his eyes worshiped. they bowed down at my body as if it was a temple, observing me with the hungry eyes yet humble heart of a missionary in front of his god. his gaze made me into the holy artifact in the room, & he truly made me feel as if my skin was made of gold & my veins would spill diamonds if i ever dared to harm my own skin again. when his clear blue optics traversed across the broken & imperfect parts of me ; it was kintsugi. he touched me,   he pulled me back. he had spotted his name on my back, years before he even knew who he would be in the years to come where his lips would travel across that very back & count the birthmarks like constellations. he wanted me to have the best day of my life, even though he didn't know who i was, & i was too anxious to even speak my name. he pulled me even though i was actually nothing to him. he had no clue of the hours of my life i had spent in an old volvo with leathered seats just to see him as a dot on a white background among hundreds of other people. he cared for me even when i was no one.   i leaned on him before i had even noticed it. my life had been depending on him for so long ; he had been my inspiration, my motivation, & the hand which reached out to me before he had even first wrapped a single arm around me. it came almost automatically, as if my soul was drawn to him like a magnet. with the alcohol rushing through my lovesick veins i had so much to blame & so little to lose. he put his arm around me. he made me someone special ; he made me different from everyone else at that very bar, in the very universe which molded us, because i was the only one with his arm around their shoulders. he touched me to protect me from my own lack of sensibility ; the glass in my hand was once again empty. he had let me buy the drinks no one else thought i should buy. in more ways than one, he made me feel safe.   our lips collided so hard his tooth hurt my lip but i couldn't care. the cheers of a thousand people was deafening to my ears ; my pulse was rushing through my ears like the strongest wind, numbing my lip from the swelling that was to come. his hands were cold, sweaty, & on my cheeks, but i had no idea where he had put his gloves. i almost fell in the collision of our bodies but he had me right where he wanted me ; with him on the ice, in front of the whole world. he touched me in front of a million eyes & through hundreds of bad decisions, i felt that he would never take this one back. his adrenaline tasted sweet on my tongue & it's stayed there for another year until our teeth dug into our golden medals & danced through the taste of champagne. he listened to me.    sometimes he would hear my voice before i even spoke. he would read my body like a language & ask my questions without personal gain. he made me promises so genuine & thorough it seemed as if my words were a bible he studied so well his fingers could find the right passages without a golden string. he reassured me that he would never hurt me. he assured me of it before the first time i laid in his bed, when my voice was so hurt & defeated the cry had swallowed it whole, before he first spread my legs, & before he first showed me the teeth a man with a wolf in his blood can bear. he listened to my fears straight from my quivering heart & my doe eyes.   he listened to me when i was angry. when i was frustrated, when i was sad, & when i yelled. he wanted to hear me better so he pulled me closer. instead of pushing me out, blaming me, or saving himself from the guilt & the pain that could be inflicted from my venomous tongue, he wrapped his arms around me & pulled me closer to his chest so he could listen not only with his ears but through the mere organ pumping life from the top of his head to his toes. he listened to me sobbing without words for hours & he never complained or raised his voice to make me quiet. he never kissed me to shut me up ; i was too important to him.   he listened to me when i told him i loved him more than my own life ; more than everything i have made, achieved, conquered or gained. more than any matter in the universe he captivates me. more than any miracle he is special to me. despite that, he says he loves me more.

the memoirs of a lionheart. frej kristoffer blom , if he knew how to make a poem. we love @stckhlmr on his birthday & all the remaining days of the year. his diversity has inspired us since day one. this is a tribute to all the different colors that is two-shot. all that’s missing is the smell of axe & some haribo. maybe next year?

[survivormidwayatoll]

Ep. 7 “THROW. THE. CHALLENGE.” - Billy

I'm so shook that me Isaac and gage all made it out of there alive holy fuck. Luckily JP isn't mad and recognizes it's a game move but im honestly ready to suffer bring it to me montiford

Wow... WOW. I'm so glad I bought my ticket to Hawaii because it looks like we're here.from what I understand, this past Vote was UGLY. Like U G L Y. This whole thing apparently got so messy so fast and Gage apparently popped off on Jordan. Ash played herself, because she didn't vote with her duo and now everyone is being weary of Ash. But then... but then.. after these dumb fucks don't vote Jordan out at the last tribal (I mean I'm glad Christine is gone, and I'm not happy that Tyler is gone) but now we get the new twist of *Tribal Immunity* and Ricky and I hold hands and skip into the forest, kidnapped Isaac Sara and Karen and were like THROW. THE. CHALLENGE. It's clear Jordan doesn't have an idol, and no one has found the Okinawa idol because we don't have any clues. So Jordan is powerless if we throw the challenge and it's perfect just to get him out. But it's gonna draw lines in the sand, and trust me the only lines I'm drawing are the lines of Xanex I'll be snorting to keep my nerves straight. Because the ONLY person standing on the other side of this line...... is Allison.

Are you kidding? We tried throwing the challenge and couldn't even do it. And here I am again not going to tribal. At this point it just makes me mad. I don't wanna keep being safe. I wanna play the game. Because all escaping tribal is doing is putting a big fat rose gold target on my forhead. Ricky pointed out that "everyone knows you have connections and that won't slide for long" UHHH you mean the same connections everyone else has??? We're all one huge group of friends! So if they're gonna target me for that then that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in all honesty. Because if they say they're gonna vote me out over connections, I'm gonna look at Ricky/Gage, Ricky/Karen, Carson/Isaac/Andrew, Sara/Gage, Gage/Ash/Ricky, Jordan/Allison. There's plenty of connections here, I'm just nice to everyone. And that's ONLY because I wanna make it to the end and get jury votes. Which at this point I know won't happen if I play nice. I have to LIE LIE LIE if I want to make it to the end in this situation. And pray to god that these assholes don't make this shit personal. 

Ok so we swapped into new tribes which I celebratin for a second before I realized that if we go to tribal it's gonna be a mess like big time. I won immunity last round with billy which sent the rest of the tribe to the war zone which is nice and all but those dummies decided that the best person to vote out from the other tribe is xtine????? It kinda pissed me off bc I knew she would've been a good ally for me. So they come back to the tribe and I talk to jp a little about the vote and how at this point in time I don't see the use of targeting him bc I kno we work well together. Immunity gets posted and billy makes a group with me Isaac sara and Ricky  and they tell me to join the call bc they had some "important" stuff to talk about and I immediately think that they're gonna want to throw the challenge. So I join and surprise surprise ! They wanna throw it bc they think jp is as of rn the most vulnerable bc he doesn't have an idol or anything. Obviously I agree to this stupid plan but I kno for a fact that if jp leaves then this tribe is in trouble if we go to tribal next round bc I'm pretty sure me and Isaac are at the bottom of that alliance or w/e, like it's literally two duos and Ricky in the middle and I wouldn't put it passed him to get Isaac voted out bc he was deadset on voting him before and that would leave me without my duo and an open spot for him to become my right hand man. Honestly those two are gonna be the death of me this game :/. So I tell jp that they're planning on throwing it bc honestly he's a good asset to my game and I tell him to go off on this challenge to which he literally does the entire lesson thing like this bitch is literally fluent in Esperanto now! Anyway so we win immunity and I can tell the others are kinda annoyed but o well bc I ain't playin ur game no more :~)

Okay fuck I'm not here to talk about the bullshit of last round. All I'm saying, is Carson needs to cover his god damn ass that he voted Isaac, I'm mad Christine went over Gage but Christine was also proving to be a lost cause to work with so meh, and I'm super fucking pissed Tyler went because I really wanted him as a number. And I know Isaac is low-key targeting me so while I would have been personally upset he lost a game, I wouldn't have been mad if it benefited me and made the target on my back a bit smaller. So anyway. My tribe is in the war zone. Myself and Carson, Ash and Gage, and then Allison separated from her duo and Shea all by his lonesome. I had to play major damage control with Shea because idk how much they trust me, and I need them to vote Gage. Allison wants Gage out bc she's on a revenge kick and I wanna use that to take him out. While I did wanna work closely with Ash and Gage as a duo, Gage has proven to be too sneaky PLUS I need Sara to not have him distracting her if I wanna work with her down the line PLUS PLUS he needs to be detached from both Ricky and Isaac separately. Isaac seems to think he has Gage in his back pocket which IDK ABOUT ALL DAT. And besides, Ricky showed he wouldn't vote out Gage last round. Also I'll get Jordan thinking he owes Carson and I, and it's always good to get favor with Allison. That duo may just end up being indebted to us. Now I just need to trust everyone votes Gage. If Allison and Shea flip, I will be pissed the fuck off. Carson has his pistol, and I have my idol. So if one of us goes, then fuck because I'd really not play something this round. On side notes, I'm trying to get close to Shea separately. Also if Gage goes tonight and I'm still here, I'm going to need to play some major damage control with Ash. NNNNNNNNNNNNN I swear if this vote goes south I'm gonna cry.

I can't believe Jordan Pines won that entire fucking challenge by himself..... I honestly am trying to stay in his good graces bc he's not a bad guy, and I'm not his biggest threat, and honestly I do like him, and I like working with him, I just have other loyalties to honor. I'm really hoping that Gage makes merge, and that we can reconnect, but I know that if we get together, we're gonna be a big target. But I'll stand by him no matter what, and I know he'll do the same.

Confessional: I feel so bad about voting out Gage, but like, he targeted my duo and I'm in a place where I can take him out because I don't trust him to work with me anymore. I'm honestly just ready to be done with this game. It's like Hawaii 2.0 and I already went through it once. Hopefully Gage won't take it personally though because I love him so much and this is purely a game move.

I feel like every tribal is a constant struggle for people me to convince people to not go for "the easy vote". Like every tribal someone is telling me "_____ Sees you as an easy vote." Today's tribal, Gage is gunning for me. I'm not surprised, Gage has shown himself to be a really messy player thus far. Right now, playing dumb has and continues to be my best asset. Acting shocked at tribal when something happens, talking too much, that kinda stuff makes people just not see me as what I am. I'm smarter than what people perceive me as, and if I can keep getting people to stray from "the easy vote" than I could go on to win this season. It's all about just continuing to hone my social game and downplay it. The great thing about my position is I don't have to gun for anyone, because while I sit here as the easy vote, people are going every which way to get out someone whose a threat to them. With Tyler gone, I'm not a threat to anyone, I'm the only one in the "easy vote, he'll vote with us he's got nobody" position, and I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Jordan motherfucking Pines just carried out whole tribe when we planned to throw it? And it's because Karen told him? Ugly. 

I hate this game so fucking much

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE 5 - “YOUR SPONSOR JUST RUINED YOUR CHANCES” - JASON

[9:58:57 PM] Seamus: If u wanna donate ur money to help Jordan I'd very much appreciate it 

[10:09:40 PM] Seamus: Or like exactly 1 haha 

literally WHO the fuck is this and why is he asking for my money like A MINUTE after i lose my last tribute? where's the compassion?? the empathy??? anyways sorry @jordan (who?) and @jaiden (who??) but ur sponsor just ruined your chances of me supporting you bc i'm that petty (selfie) #lianawasrobbed #nicolewaspushed

Liana and RJ hatched a cute little plan to throw immunity and send me out of this game.

Yet, it was Liana that got the boot. It was her plan, it worked, and I'm still standing on top.

How poetic.

Okay so the last thing I heard before the vote was Jaiden... Then Liana gets voted out... Okay sure that makes sense glad someone told me! Liana didn't talk to me at all when I tried to warn her so I went to JC and was like nevermind I don't care I'll vote out Liana because she's not answering me so I'm down for whatever and they said it was still Jaiden. I mean right before the vote they did message me and say SOS but my drunk ass wasn't looking at my phone or paying attention to the time so like maybe they did try to tell me but I don't know either way now that I'm sober I'm realizing I was left out of the vote and I'm over that happening to me honestly like you lie to me and leave me out it just makes me angry and makes me ready to slit some throats. Right now I'm a snake in the grass, not really noticeable I'm just there laying low but damn I'm getting ready to bite some ankles and take people down

The one person I was closest to in the game, Liana, was voted out last night. I was not too happy about this, especially considering the fact that Jaiden is probably the most disliked person on this cast. I am not sure what happened to cause her to be voted out but I am hoping that we continue to win these challenges, otherwise I fear I may be in a position that could cost me the game. Naturally though, the people in this game have rarely any conversation with me at all to begin with and being the lone representative of a season kind of gives me a lot of pressure! I say that a lot because it is true, not for bragging rights.

Panema isn't spelled the way it looks

Jaiden I drafted u and ur starting to annoy me but as long as u keep getting me points that I can use to help Jordan then I don't care.

Okay o m g my tribe actually really pulled through in that immunity like girl!! And omfg I can't believe I successfully blindsided Liana, she reeeeally had to go she was way too powerful. And now someone from arma can be going home BLESS!! But there's one downside, like the only two people I don't want to see go on arma are Jakey and Isaac, especially jakey because I trust him, and then Isaac because he's my contract and like we have rocky(?) trust idk. But apparently jakeys name was tossed around so I hope he manages to survive somehow because apparently they were saying Constance too which would be a BLESSING because Constance never speaks to me and rubs me the wrong way like I feel like they attempt to be shady and funny but it really just falls flat and it's kind of odd. And like how are we at f13 and we still have like nothing of a connection, I've even been speaking to Jordan! And I actually like them a decent bit.

And omg I got so much tea from Samantha, apparently Allison wanted her to come to arma to be an easy vote which Liana warned her about ajshzhsbs (sorry Liana hehe) and there's an alliance of Isaac, Allison, Andrew and Jordan which doesn't surprise me, though I thought Constance would be included in that alliance...ugh that means those four probably control the vote and Jakey will probably be going. I DONT WANT HIM TO GO PLEASTHE.

Well Liana is gone and I'm super sad because I did trust her. On the other hand I heard she was trying to throw me isaac allison and andrew under the bus and yikes. Constance sat out of immunity which i dont get because she was on all day but w/e. I want to try and save her but pretty much everyone on the tribe wants her gone so I really can't do much about it...

hieeeee. so yay my tribe won immunity! it feels good not having to stress about voting someone out again because last week me jc and samantha literally submitted our votes when there was like 1 minute left because we didn't know what to do. i like how i made jc stress out thinking liana had the idol and was gonna use it on her and get him out when i actually have the idol. hehe. i'm such a good ally, right? LISTEN i needed some entertainment and that was very entertaining! so i been thinking.. yes i miss liana but losing her wasn't the worse thing possible. merge is probably coming up soon and i know she would have been untouchable due to her big ass alliance. rj hasn't messaged me since i kinda blindsided him and voted liana out over jaiden.. oops? rj basically has no choice but to trust me at this point though because he literally doesn't talk to anyone or do anything. right now my trust goes.. jc = samantha > rj > jaiden. i NEVER thought i would be working with jaiden.. okay i wouldn't really say trust though because i know how much of a lose canon he is and i know he literally exposes things when he know's he's leaving so i just need to keep all information away from him. IN OTHER NEWS. king kevin sponsored me :) his message was literally so nice and i know i may sound like a FREAK but i loved his little message and it made me smile. it's good to know i have at least one supporter out there ;') kevin gave me a "rabbit trap" which means i can expose someone's vote at tribal council. hehe. i'm gonna hold onto this for the future and hopefully i can expose some little rats :)) THANKS KEVIN I APPRECIATE YOU!

Ok so this tribe has been pretty cool. I feel like I am in a good place with everyone on this tribe except for Constance. Gotta admit though...its literally depressing how inactive my tribe is though. Literally no one but Jordan (and jake like a day late) responded about a video. In any other season the video I made would have lost in a landslide. Oh well, Liana left and I am not upset about it. After our incident during the Dylan tribal I am glad to have one less person with a reason to vote for me.

So then this new challenge came out and a couple ppl asked to sit out which was fine cause it was an endurance comp. But Constance made this huge stink about sitting out...and then sat on call with us while we did the challenge. Gurl. Allison doesnt have power but you needed to sit out so you could be around for the entire challenge and just not do it? Wtf! I hate these humans. Whatever we lost. Hopefully it will be unanimous for Constance. I never trust that what I think will happen will actually happen...so I feel like I might get voted out tonight...who knows? I certainly don't. Maybe it's just paranoia.

So Liana went last round which is pretty good for me considering she was targeting me, Allison, Andrew, and Jordan but I really do enjoy Liana as a person but whew but on the negative side, Jaiden is still here. I really really don't like Jaiden and the way he plays. But we lost the challenge because we forgot Allison didn't have power and Constance sat out even though she was here? So originally we were going to vote out Jakey but then the argument was presented why should we get rid of someone who actually tries just because Constance is a number when we could probably get the person who tries and his ally as numbers as well? So yeah it seems like the vote has flipped to Constance. Plus Constance was always closer to Liana. Sorry Constance I love you to death but you should've been a little more helpful and a little more trustworthy.