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reevesdriver · 4 months ago

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The 141 Clinic: Crack It (NSFW)

Summary: Your lower back is killing you so when you mention it to your mum and she recommends a gruff and handsome chiropractor that can work wonders with his hands who are you to refuse?

Word count: 2625

Reader: Female reader

Character(s): Captain John Price / AU Chiropractor Price

Warning(s): NSFW / 🔥🔥🔥 / Smut / Pervert behaviour / Masturbation / Fingering / Oral sex (Fem Receiving) /

Support Me: Kofi

(AN: I woke up in the middle of the night and my back was killing me and this idea came to my head so enjoy. Also I've always wanted to go to a Chiropractor and get cracked like a glow stick, is that normal or am I just getting old??) (Also I'm not a chiropractor but I've seen some videos here and there so for the sake of the fic let's pretend I know what I'm talking about.)

Your back was well and truly, fucked. After throwing it out doing something you can't remember you'd popped some painkillers and hoped for the best. Unfortunately for you no matter how much resting, stretching and painkiller taking you did nothing seemed to be working. A few days post back throw-out you were sat in your mums kitchen slowly massaging your lower back with a grimace on your face.

"Oh dear, has the pain not subsided yet?" She stopped in the middle of her conversation to ask when she saw the pained look on your face.

"Normally it goes after a day or two but it's been almost a week now and it's still the same."

"Hmm." She thought. "My friend Val said there is masseuse clinic that opened up not too long ago next to that new gym. I'll get the number from her hold on."

Before you could protest she left the room to grab her phone, it couldn't hurt to go and see a professional could it? If you went to the doctors they would tell you to rest and take painkillers and so far that had done nothing for you so why not give it a go? She returned to the room, phone in hand, and opened on a text message thread. "Val said to ask for John Price, he's the Chiropractor who helped her hubby with his back pain a few months ago. She said he's very handsome too."

You nod adding the number to your phone and choosing not to acknowledge the last thing your mother said, her friend Val had terrible taste in men so you were positively sure that the Chiropractor would be nothing special. Pressing the number you just saved you raised your phone to your ear as it started to ring. After a few rings you heard the phone being picked up and the deep and gruff voice on the other side of the line immediately made you lose your train of thought. "Hi this is the 141 clinic how can I help you."

"Oh, uh, hi, sorry. I'm looking to book an appointment with John Price please."

"That's me love, can I take some of your details and reasoning as to why you're looking for an appointment." God his voice was like velvet, goosebumps rose on your arms and you felt the hair on the back of your neck stand.

"H-Hi Mr Price." You stutter and quickly give out your name and details. "The appointment is for my back, I threw it out about a week ago and no amount of rest or painkillers is getting rid of the pain."

"Ok I see, I can fit you in tomorrow at 5pm if that's any good? If I get a cancelation I could get you in earlier but if not then it'll have to be that time please."

"Yeah, that's fine. Is there anything I need to do before the appointment?"

"Nothing at all love, just turn up and make sure you're wearing something comfortable. I'm going to put you in all sorts of positions so best not to have anything movement-restricting on." John spoke and then grinned when he heard the sharp intake of breath from the receiver.

“Ok I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow love, bye.” He hung up and added your appointment to his diary for his own record. Your mum smiled at you as you put your phone down on the counter. “Well did you get an appointment.” She asks with a knowing smirk.

"Yeah, that was Mr Price on the phone, he's booked me in for tomorrow."

"Oh is that why you blushed?" She laughs.

"I'm not blushing, I just didn't expect his voice to be so deep."

"Mhmm." She smirks and you shake your head in response.

You spend the next day working from home perched on your office chair at your desk as you replied to emails and sorted through documents to try and occupy your mind. Anxiety crept in as you checked the time on your laptop and saw that it was nearing 4pm. Deciding you were done working for the day you clocked off and took a quick shower before riffling through your closet for some cycling shorts and a baggy top. They were comfortable and non-restricting, just what Mr Price had said to wear.

Once dressed you grabbed your bag and shoved your purse and a bottle of water into it before pulling up your phone and typing in the name of the business so you could get directions once you got into your car. The drive didn't take long and soon you were pulling into the almost empty car park which was dimly lit. Parking up you took your keys from the ignition and made your way towards the building after grabbing your bag and locking the car.

Entering the building you were hit with a sweet smell of flowers and fruits from the wax melt that was burning near the reception desk. An older lady with glasses perched on the edge of her nose looks up to you as you enter. "Hi Miss, can I help you?" She asks with a smile.

"Hi yes, I have an appointment with Mr Price. I'm a little early." You shift nervously.

"Of course you must be the last appointment of the day, follow me please." She says standing from her chair and rounding the desk. You anxiously follow her down a hallway and stop a little behind her as she knocks on a door before entering.

"Mr Price, this young lady has an appointment with you." She says as she holds the door open urging you to step into the doorway and you fight the urge to drop your jaw at the man sat behind a desk.

"Hi." He greets you with your name and stands extending a hand out to you. You step forwards and shake it making note of the size difference between your dainty hand and his large muscular one that had specks of hair on the knuckles. "You're free to go Dorris, lock the door on your way out please."

"Thank you Mr Price, I'll see you tomorrow." She replies and with that the door to the room shuts and you're left alone with the very handsome chiropractor.

"You seem nervous love, I've not scared you have I?"

"N-No not at all, I've just never had anything like this done before so I'm a little anxious that's all."

"Well I promise you're in safe hands, but if you feel uncomfortable at any point just let me know and we can stop ok?" He says and you nod in response. "Good, now you said it was your back that was hurting you so I'll make a start with that, if you lie down on the table for me darling I'll have a quick feel and see what I can do."

You nervously dropped your bag against the wall and took off your jacket and shoes before stepping over to the table. Kneeling into the material you quickly lie down onto your belly and rest your arms to the side of you. You feel him step to your side. "So where do you work sweetheart?" He asks as he runs his hands up and down your spine and across the expanse of your shoulder blades.

"I work from home, just admin work mostly." You explain and for once you wished you had a better sounding job.

"You spend a lot of time sat at a desk?" He asks as he feels different points on your back and gives them little tugs here and there. He's trying to work out any knots he can find before he turns to cracking and so far he's having a field day with your middle and lower back.

"Um yeah, a few hours sometimes. I try and take breaks when I can but I get so stuck into my work that sometimes I forget."

He tuts. "That's not good for your back darling no wonder you're in pain." You hum in agreement and try to steady your breathing as his digits roll over your vertebrae. "Okay I think I know where your problem is. I want you to breathe in for me when I say so doll and exhale as I push, can you do that for me?" He asks and awaits your reply.

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Good girl." He says gruffly and you clench your thighs together, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by him. "Breathe in doll ... and breathe out." On the exhale his heavy hands press into your spine which cracks and almost instantly you can feel a wave of relief wash over you. The pain that was nagging you all week had finally subsided and you couldn't help but let out a breathy moan at the feeling.

"That do the trick darling?"

"Yeah, fuck, thank you."

You feel him lift the bottom of your t-shirt up. "I just need to have another feel of your back, easier to do it without clothes in the way. Can I undo your bra?" He asks and you gasp softly.

"Of course." You reply a little too quickly earning a throaty chuckle from the man. "You're an eager one aren't you." His hand runs up your bare spine and you feel his fingers pinch your bra as he expertly undoes it with just a finger and thumb.

You feel him lift a leg over the bench so he's straddling your body, his hips resting dangerously close to your arse as he rubs your back feeling each vertebrae. John reaches to the side of the table and starts to lift a section of it up, you feel your arse begin to rise in the air as your pelvis is pushed upwards from the cushioned bench.

"So, how long have you been a Chiropractor for?" You ask trying to distract your mind from the position you're in.

"About 10 years, a couple of my mates and I had the idea to put our skills together and open this place up as well as the gym next door."

"That's nice that you're all working together, you must be close."

"Yeah we are." He says and edges himself closer to you so his hips are pressing against your arse. The growing bulge in his sweatpants prods at your rear and he can hear your breaths deepen and sees your fists clench around the edge of the bench when he presses against you. He finds another spot he wants to crack and makes you breathe in again. On your exhale he presses down onto your lower back, nudging his cock against your closed arse and pushes his palms until he hears the crack.

You let out a breathy moan. Any attempts to stop the sound are futile as John bends over your body, his rough hands wrap around the sides of the bench as he lowers his mouth to your ear. "You alright there darling?"

"Mhmm, perfect." You say, your voice muffled slightly. John laughs softly, he's looking at your face, your cheeks are flushed and there's drops of sweat on your forehead. You let out another soft moan when you feel his cock twitch against your rear, eager to be touched.

John rises back up and runs his palms against your back once more, he can feel the delicate little hairs on your back rise slightly as he moves his hands to cup your arse. "I think we're all done with your appointment sweetheart." He says and you whine again. An hour had passed by so quick and although you felt relief with the pain in your back gone you still craved his touches. Your ears prick up when you hear him continue. "Unless there is anything else you'd like me to help you with?"

"Please John, touch me." Your voice more clearly now since you've raised your head to look back at him.

"Are you sure?" He questions and you quickly nod.

In one swift motion John moves his hands from your arse cheeks to the waistband and is tugging your shorts and underwear down and off your legs, discarding the clothing haphazardly across the room.

"Fuck." He mutters seeing the gloss that is smeared across your inner thighs. Your arse is still raised on the portion of the bench and he has a clear view of your leaking pussy. You wiggle your arse slightly earning a rough strike to the plump cheek. "So needy." He says and immediately dives his fingers into your sopping heat.

You moan at the intrusion, two thick fingers eagerly pump inside of your wet cunt with ease. "So wet, so warm, fuck." He groans feeling your walls clench around his digits. John retracts his fingers as quickly as he'd put them there and before you could protest the lack of him he presses his wide tongue against your pussy. Effortlessly he lifts your hips up a bit more with his hands and laps at your clit, devouring your pussy and coating his stubble with your juices.

His tongue moves feverishly between lapping the small bundle of nerves and diving into your cunt. Your nails dig into the leather of the bench as he eats your pussy better than any man ever has, spit and cum is drenching his face and your pussy so much that you almost miss the rough slaps of skin on skin as John tugs his cock.

"God John, fuck." You breathe as you cum against his face, legs jerking so much that they threaten to fall off the bench. John pulls his face from your pussy and jerks his cock quicker, throwing his head back he plasters your arse with thick ropes of cum, an animalistic moan falling from his mouth as he climaxes.

When a few seconds pass you finally speak. "Do all your clients get this kind of treatment?" You ask panting, a hint of jealousy present in your tone.

"That wouldn't be very professional of me now would it?" He replies and you laugh. He grabs some wet wipes from off his desk and cleans you up before wiping his cock and tucking it back into his pants.

“You did really well today sweetheart though I feel you would benefit with these appointments becoming a regular occurrence. I’m going to put in a recommendation for you with some of my colleagues too and we can take it from there."

You blush. "Thank you John." You say moving off the bench and tugging your shorts back up your body, your underwear nowhere in sight. Being the gentleman he is he helps you put your shoes back on and ties the laces for you before forcing his lips against yours. You can taste yourself on his mouth and tongue as runs his hands up your body and around to your back where he refastens your bra with ease.

"You're free to go." John says finally detaching his mouth from yours. You stay stood still for a moment, catching your breath and trying to calm your legs that are still numb from pleasure. John watches as you throw your bag over your shoulder and grab your jacket from the floor. He opens the door for you and leads you back to the front doors, the building now completely empty from any staff who would have been walking around before your appointment.

"I'll see you soon love." He says opening the door for you once more and allows you to step outside into the cold air. With a smile you turn away from him and slowly walk back to your car unaware of John pushing your underwear deeper into his pocket.

#mywriting #mine #female reader #captain john price #captain John price smut #captain price x reader #john price #John price smut #captain john price x reader #captain price smut #price x reader #call of duty #call of duty imagine #captain price imagine #cod au

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drawlody · 7 months ago

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My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

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sorrowsofsilence · 2 months ago

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the crow oneshot - noah!draven x fem!reader

words: 6.7k

warnings: 18+ (implied smut, death, graphic violence, mentions of murder, implied suicide, angst, heartbreak and grief)

summary: "People Once Believed That When Someone Dies, A Crow Carries Their Soul To The Land Of The Dead. But sometimes something so terrible happens, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right."

note: ok i know its late but i somehow got the writing worm to complete this at 4am and i am so happy with it, i hope you enjoy. this is my take on a mash of the comic and the new movie but with noah playing eric draven. enjoy lovelies. also yes i edited the photo above and gave him a nose piercing hehe oops.

"People Once Believed That When Someone Dies, A Crow Carries Their Soul To The Land Of The Dead."

"But sometimes, something so terrible happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. And sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”

Noah had never known a love that burned as fiercely as his love for you.

Every beat of his heart was consumed by thoughts of your image, pounding deeper with every inhale. His body was sworn in devotion to your being; your name was a prayer on his lips.

Even in his final moments, as he struggled for breath while the wound in his stomach stole his time from this earth, Noah’s eyes never left yours; his love for you transcended even death.

When his last breath escaped him, he watched your fingers fall limp, still reaching for him in desperate agony; a silent scream etched upon your graying lips.

Your eyes had glazed over, forever mourning the love for him that could never be replaced- and your bodies grew cold against the pavement, your murderers staining the concrete with the memories of your story.

A crow was there, its evanescent body cloaked in the darkness of twilight, with gleaming eyes reflecting your love's memories as it watched. It knew that it was time.

With a narrow gaze, it eyed Noah carefully as life drained from his body, his once vibrant soul that entwined with yours, diminishing to nothing.

His spirit was a current of emotions - pain, regret, sorrow - but above all, love. A love that clung onto him as he faded away. A love that refused to let go.

As he passed, Noah's being mingled in the air, leaving his lifeless form behind, unknown to him.

With a disheartening caw, the crow took flight and reached for his soul, grasping it with its talons before navigating the obsidian sky toward the Land of the Dead.

When it arrived, the barrier between life and death halted the crow’s arrival, its being unable to cross to the other side with his next life.

The heartache of Noah’s agony penetrated the crow’s body, causing its feathers to hesitate.

The crow knew of his pain. It was common amongst mortals, something it saw many times over in countless souls.

Yet, something about Noah’s struck a chord deep within its being; for on his dying breath his wish was not for himself - but for you.

“A twisted soul, a mortar…despair the bricks…to build a temple to sadness.”

The brunette had wished, in desperate yearning, for nothing but you to live. To be in a world that cherished you. To be loved by him forever.

At that moment, in defiance of countless centuries of duty, the crow turned back with Noah’s soul still clutched within its talons. Its purpose had changed- to bring Noah back from the precipice of finality and reunite him with you.

His spirit soared, lifted by the mournful song of the crow as it carried him through a veil of mist, vessel awaiting.

As Noah's body jolted awake when his soul clung to his skin once again, he grasped for air and clutched his chest, unaware that this nightmare was far from over.

The crow knew that in the land of the dead, Noah would have found no peace. He would have wandered, lost to the abyss of reflection and torment, your tears reaching him like distant echoes within the realm of sorrow.

When he came to and sat up against the damp ground, his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit street as rain fell from the sky. His heart raced in anguish as pain spread across his body, his hands reaching for his stomach to cradle his wounds.

But despite the blood that stained his fingers, your name raced in his mind, his world-shattering once he turned.

Perhaps it was all a dream he thought, perhaps he couldn’t wake up.

But there you were, void of this earth- your lifeless body lying against the cement as he screamed, your soul unaware as the wails of agony ripped from his throat. He screamed and screamed, unable to control the pure terror of your limp body lying beside him, gone.

His hands, raw and tainted with crimson, crawled toward you as he dragged himself across the wet pavement. Each moment felt like a century until his fingers grazed your cold skin, every thunderous pound of his heart growing louder within his ears.

“Don’t look don’t look” the shadows breathe Whispering me away from you “Don’t wake at night to watch her sleep You know that you will always lose This trembling, Adored, Tousled bird mad girl… ”

Noah’s chest ached and mourned, the pain within his heart transcending to his limbs in newfound desolation. The pain from the bullet sinking into his flesh couldn’t be compared to the anguish he felt as he pulled your limp body onto his lap; his tears mingled with the rain, falling onto your still face.

The crow watched silently from a distance as Noah cradled your body against his chest. He held you close, clinging to the memory of you as his sobs filled the empty street, echoing off the brick walls of the buildings that surrounded him. His cries went unanswered as the cold rain continued to fall, washing away any bit of warmth left within his shattered heart.

“All he wants is pain. Pain and hate. Yes, hate. But never fear. Fear is for the enemy. Fear and bullets.”

Noah’s breath quickened, chest heaving in grief and misery as he turned to look above, watching the crow stand motionless, letting out a mimicked cry.

A strange understanding glimmered in its soulful black eyes as it released an eerie melody that danced through the air in a ballad.

With furrowed brows, Noah watched the bird, rocking back and forth with your body as his mind raced with despair. He leaned forward, placing a reverent kiss against your frigid forehead, and with trembling hands, swept strands of damp hair from your face, whispering words of longing into your skin.

“I love thee with thee breath, smiles tears and all my life. And if god chose I shall but love thee better after death.”

The crow cawed again, startling Noah from his mourning- and as he looked up at it with tear-streaked eyes, the bird spread its wings, rocketing into the sky before soaring downwards.

The crow crashed into Noah’s chest, its body disintegrating on impact as a crack of lightning ripped through the twilight sky.

Noah felt his body grow stiff, convulsing as he screamed again in pain before the crow began to pulsate inside, rhythmically timing with Noah's heartbeat as they became one.

His chest filled with a burning sting, the essence of the crow sinking into his skin, coursing through his veins. He gasped for breath, his lungs straining against the sudden intrusion within him.

And then- it was over. Only his ears filled with the heavy drumming of the rain against the desolate street.

But every night I burn But every night I call your name Every night I burn Every night I fall again

Noah’s limbs strengthened, the weariness and sorrow washing away in the torrent of newfound power surging through his veins. Anger replaced his anguish as he staggered to his feet, clutching at his chest where the crow had infiltrated him.

The thunder echoed once again through the empty streets as the rain slowly eased into a drizzle. His eyes were no longer clouded with tears but instead held a fierce determination that reflected the waning storm.

Slowly, he lowered your lifeless body onto the wet pavement, kissing your forehead one last time.

His heart raced inside his chest, this newfound rage taking over as he screamed once again.

He was ready to exact revenge on those bastards. He would chase them down, tearing apart their bodies until they knew the same agony that he did. The same agony that you felt.

And so, with every tick of the clock that rang ominously through the deserted streets, Noah converted his sorrow into an insatiable thirst for revenge.

He looked down at your face one last time, still peaceful in demise, your lashes glistened with the remnants of fearful tears, oblivious to the storm that raged within Noah's heart.

His boots echoed through the narrow alleys, a grim soundtrack to the night's unfolding tale. With every step, he felt a surge of power coursing through him.

His senses had heightened; he could hear whispers from houses away, taste the fear in the air, smell the blood yet to be spilled. An unholy resilience now lined his muscles, protecting him from harm with supernatural armour.

His rage burned within him. He was no longer Noah; he had become something more – an avenging force, filled with wrath.

As he made his way home, he couldn’t help but laugh; the pain and fucked up humor of it all etched within him.

He was supposed to marry you.

He was supposed to start a family with you.

He was supposed to grow old with you, decades of lust and love combined into a story of pure devotion.

But that was stolen from him. Your life was stolen.

He stepped inside your shared apartment, the scent of your perfume still lingering there, a cruel reminder of your absence.

Closing the door with his foot, he noticed the untouched dinner for two on the table, candles having burned down to their wicks.

The apartment was just as you left it, your essence imprinted in every corner, every object. The book you were reading lay open on the coffee table, the sweater you always wore draped carelessly over the couch.

Noah sank into your armchair, your favourite spot, letting himself drown in the memory of you.

He glanced at the wedding invitations stacked neatly on the desk, their beautifully intricate designs mocking him now with their untouched optimism. With a swift movement, he swept them off the table, and they fluttered in the air like a flock of terrified birds before scattering on the floor.

He closed his eyes, sucking in a breath.

“Marry me,” He said, breathing into your skin with every kiss as he held your arms above your head.

His tongue slid up your neck, teeth grazing the lobe of your ear as he whispered the plea again.

“Marry me, Y/N.”

You moaned into his mouth as he attached his lips to yours, breathing live into your body as his hips rutted against your own.

Hands gripped each other’s hair as he held you close, your fingers entangled in his brown strands as you devoured him.

“Are you sure?” You whispered, pulling away as Noah pulled your underwear down your thighs, nails grazing the skin.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life,” He laughed, resting his forehead against yours, his brown eyes dancing with elation.

“How many have you loved? Really loved,” You said, raking your fingers down his back as Noah’s fingers slid along your core, pressing into your desire.

As you gasped in awe he smiled, peppering kisses on the sides of your cheeks.

“No one,” He breathed, kissing toward your lips, “I have never loved anybody as much as I love you.”

A bitter laugh escaped his lips.

It was too cruel, too ironic. An idyllic future replaced by this terrible nightmare.

His eyes moved to the framed photograph on the mantelpiece - to a time when happiness was not just a distant memory, but a reality.

In it, you both were laughing at some joke, unabashed joy illuminating your faces. He could still hear your laughter, resonating in his ears like the sweetest melody, and he could still feel the warmth of your touch on his skin.

The ache was sharp, cutting deep into his chest. He picked up the picture frame delicately as if handling a sacred relic, his fingers tracing the curves of your face.

Those days were gone – swept away by the cruel hands of fate.

Now, there was only vengeance left.

Darkness unfurled around him like an ominous shroud as he stormed into the bathroom, clenching his fists. His eyes grew dark as he stared at his reflection, unrecognizable to him.

Another wave of savage rage swept through him, obliterating his thoughts.

He clenched his fists tighter, knuckles turning pale under the pressure.

With an animalistic roar, he drove his fist into the mirror, glass shattering around him in an explosion of reflective fragments.

Among the shards littering the floor was his distorted reflection. The sight of it consumed him completely and he sank to his knees amid the debris of once flawless reality.

He cried again, clenching his fist in pain, the cuts deep within his skin. But then he watched as his knuckles closed the wounds, absorbing them back within his skin- healing themselves.

For a moment, he stared at his hand in disbelief.

He was momentarily stunned as he spread his fingers, turning his hand over to inspect the palm and back. Not a single cut, not a droplet of blood. An eerie calm settled over him as he looked at his flawless hand.

A bitter smile crawled across his face. It seemed life had one more irony to offer - even in the throes of his profound grief and rage, he couldn't even carry the physical scars of it.

A sound bellowed from the hall, and when he rose from the bathroom floor, leaving behind the shattered mirror as it was - he noticed a shadow dance across the window.

A crow was perched on the window ledge, its loud caw disturbing. It watched Noah with beady black eyes, then took flight to land on a nearby building. From there, it turned back to face the window where Noah stood, and let out another scream.

As if heeding some silent call, Noah opened the glass and stepped out onto the ledge. The cold wind buffeted against him, ruffling his unkempt hair and stinging his brown eyes. But he didn’t flinch, didn’t step back.

Instead, he cast a glance downwards, at the yawning abyss below – then turned his gaze towards the crow.

The crow just stared back at him, its beady eyes reflecting a strange understanding.

Quirking its head to one side as if studying him anew, it leapt into flight again. This time, it went further, before turning back again.

With a furrowed brow, Noah followed, racing down the fire escape.

‘The crow leads us back,’ a whisper rang between his ears, causing Noah to pause against the cement.

Unsure of where the voice came from, Noah shook his head, walking again.

‘They’re over here.’

The voice echoed in his mind again, causing him to whip his head around.

“Who are you?” Noah called out into the emptiness, his voice resurgent against the quietude of the late night.

There was no response, just the haunting sound of his voice reverberating through the narrow alleys. Feeling an odd sensation prickle his skin, he turned around to see the crow had returned. It rested on a signpost ahead, its black feathers shimmering under the weak light of the lamp overhead.

‘Follow.’

This time he was sure. The voice came from within, yet without - a paradox that gnawed at his sanity.

With a deep breath, Noah moved forward, following the crow once more as it took flight again. The streets began to widen as Noah reached the town square, where laughter and music echoed forth from a bar overfilled with revelers.

The crow perched atop it, cawing loudly as if beckoning him closer.

‘Enter.’

A gory stage was set, unbeknownst to them all. He kicked open the door, causing an abrupt silence to descend upon the room as he walked in. The blaring music had faltered, replaced with the sound of his heavy footsteps on the old wooden floor.

All eyes turned in unison, sizing up the newcomer. His trench coat billowed around his ankles as he stood, bathed in the light from a flickering neon sign that read 'Joe's Joint'.

The voice within Noah whispered again. 'Speak.'

Noah cleared his throat, for it had suddenly become dry.

“I am looking for them," he announced, his voice carrying across the room. He was met with puzzled glances and raised eyebrows.

"Who might 'them' be?" asked a man with a gruff voice and dishevelled beard.

"I'm not sure," replied Noah honestly, feeling the crow’s gaze bore into him from outside.

A bout of laughter echoed through the bar followed by murmurs of ridicule. But Noah didn't flinch.

“Then how will you know when you find them?” A woman from the back of the room quipped, her voice laced with sarcasm, yet her eyes held a glint of curiosity.

“I’ll feel it,” he replied, his gaze steady on her. His hands were clenched at his sides, the leather of his gloves creaking under the strain.

Laughter filled the room again, but this time there was a hint of unease too. People exchanged glances, whispering amongst themselves.

The crow outside cawed once more – a single, sharp note that echoed like a gunshot in the night.

Noah eyed the strangers, and his gaze narrowed before ascending further into the bar, sliding into a stool at the counter.

“Well hun, as much as I want to help ya, I don’t know who you’re looking for,” The bartender shared a sullen smile, her greying hair tied back in a thin braid, “But I can get you a drink. On the house.”

Noah tried to smile, but all he could muster was an unperturbed gaze.

“Jack Daniels. Straight.”

The bartender nodded and put her back to him, fetching the bottle from the top shelf. As she poured it into a glass, the liquid made a soft sound.

Noah looked at the amber drink with sombre eyes before wrapping his fingers around the glass and tossing it back. The whiskey burned down his throat but he didn’t flinch.

“Another,” he commanded, pushing the empty glass towards her.

Before long, a tall man sauntered over from the shadowy corner of the bar, his leather boots thudding against the wooden floorboards. He was burly and had an air of menace about him. His eyes were icy blue, gleaming under the dim bar lights.

“You seem to be looking for trouble,” he said, leaning on the counter across Noah.

“No,” Noah replied simply, receiving his refill. “Just answers.”

The man let out a hearty laugh that echoed around the room. “You’re in the wrong place for answers, friend," he said, his icy eyes twinkling under the dim bar lights.

"No," Noah retorted, sliding a bill onto the counter, his gaze never straying from the stranger's face, "I'm exactly where I need to be.”

The room fell silent once more, save for the crackle of the fire in the corner and the intermittent caw of the crow outside. The burly man's laughter died down, replaced by a considering glance as he took another look at Noah.

"Who are you?" the burly man asked, breaking the petrifying silence. His voice was gravelly and commanding, but Noah remained unimpressed.

"Just a man out of time," Noah replied, his gaze meeting the burly man's without faltering.

"No one's out of time until they're six feet under," he said, leaning closer to Noah, lowering his voice. His breath smelled heavily of whiskey and cigars,

“Something tells me you ain't about to be buried just yet."

The scoff that left Noah’s lips made the man raise a brow. If only he knew.

"Something like that," Noah said, taking another sip of his whiskey.

The sound of the bar door opening caused the conversation to die down again, and as the gust of wind hit Noah’s back, the world around him began to spin.

‘There he is. Your first target.’

Noah’s eyes narrowed as the glass faltered at his lips, before he slowly placed it down onto the wooden counter.

Noah's body bristled with anger as he heard footsteps approaching. When the person stood next to him, his fists tightened even more.

“Rye,” The man’s voice rang in Noah’s ears. He was one of them.

"Rye," Noah repeated, his voice level.

He turned to face the newcomer; a slender man with sharp features, his dark hair slicked back against his scalp. His eyes held a sheen of arrogance that Noah found all too familiar.

The man nodded and slid onto the stool next to Noah, leaning in close so that their shoulders nearly touched. "Good choice," he said, nodding towards Noah's glass of whiskey.

Noah didn't reply, keeping his gaze steady on the newcomer. He reached for his own cup slowly, gripped it tightly and brought it to his lips.

The newcomer watched him with interest, an eyebrow raised, "You don't seem like you're from around here," he said causally, but the underlying threat wasn't lost on Noah.

"Then it seems we have something in common," Noah replied just as calmly. But his teeth began to grind together, the tightening in his chest growing.

‘He helped them. He killed her.’

The voice was quick, ringing in Noah’s head.

Noah's eyes snapped towards the newcomer, a harsh glint in them.

The man blinked, momentarily taken aback by the sudden intensity.

"Is that so?" he asked, still maintaining the casual tone but his eyes now held a hint of wariness.

"Indeed," Noah affirmed, not breaking eye contact. "We both don't belong here."

The newcomer laughed, a short, humourless sound, "Well, isn't that a peculiar coincidence?" he mused, picking up his glass and knocking back a swallow.

Noah watched him, muscles taut and ready for any sudden move.

‘Now' the voice urged him, 'Do it now.'

With a swift move, Noah drew back his fist, turning to ram it into the face of the perpetrator.

The shocked look on the man's face was quickly replaced with pain before anger sunk in. Everyone else in the bar gasped, standing up in defence as the stranger went for a reciprocated punch.

Noah was quick to react, reaching out and grabbing the man by the collar, drawing him back towards him.

"There's something else we have in common," Noah said, his voice devoid of any emotion but wrath, "We both have blood on our hands."

The man gasped again, this time more from shock than pain. He stared up at Noah with wide eyes, his arrogance replaced by fear. "What the hell are you doing?" he gasped out.

"Repaying a debt," Noah replied. His heart pounded in his chest but his grip didn't waver. Noah’s fist smashed into the man’s face again, and again, and again; causing the man to wobble momentarily, before sending a punch to Noah’s jaw.

Noah pushed him to the ground, straddling the man’s waist as his nose dripped with blood.

“Who helped you,” Noah screamed in rage, crimson knuckles pounding into the man’s skull once again.

The perpetrator on the ground huffed, his breath ragged and broken.

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," the man whimpered, a pitiful attempt at defiance. But it was a lie.

Noah could see it in his watery eyes. It wasn’t until they opened wide with shock, and recognized the brunette above him.

“Wait- you-,” He sputtered, liquid running from his mouth, “You were dead.”

A wicked smile slithered onto Noah's face, a sick glint in his eyes that echoed the cruel chuckle springing from his lips, "Guess you were wrong," he said, spitting saliva mixed with blood on the man's terrified face.

He grabbed the man by his collar again, shaking him violently, "Tell me who did it!”, he demanded, "Who helped you kill her."

The man swallowed audibly, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in fear. His gaze darted around at the onlookers then settled back on Noah.

"I... I can't..." he stammered.

"You'd rather die?" Noah asked, his voice dangerously soft now.

The man whimpered, his eyes darting back and forth as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. But fear had tied it up so tight that he could no longer respond.

Noah tightened his grip on the collar, bringing his adversary's face even closer to his own. The stench of sweat and fear was foul, but it was drowned out by the sweetness of impending triumph.

As Noah stared daggers into the stranger, the man had wiggled a hand into his pocket, wrapping his fingers around a gun.

His hand trembled as he pulled it out, the polished silver gleaming in the neon glow of the bar.

The crowd gasped, those standing taking a collective step back.

"Go ahead," Noah taunted, "You think a gun scares me?"

The man lifted the firearm, his grip unsteady, fingers twitching around the trigger.

Noah's gaze drifted from the terrified face of the man below him to his gun pointed right at his chest.

A slow, mocking grin crept up his face as his hands released their grip on the man's collar, and they moved up into the air, showing his open palms.

The crowd was silent, holding their collective breaths as they watched this game of life and death unfold.

And then he pulled the trigger.

The bullet split through Noah’s chest, causing him to ricochet back in pain as a black liquid oozed from his wound.

The screams of the crowd had Noah gasping for air, a hand clenching his chest.

However, the wound began to close, healing itself with the power of revenge.

As Noah stood, the stranger and patrons of the bar watched in horror, before five more bullets penetrated Noah’s skin.

Each one sunk into his body, but he sprung forward, reaching for the weapon.

He grabbed the man’s wrist with an iron grip, wrenching the gun from his unsteady hand and sending it clattering to the floor.

Noah's chest was a gruesome canvas of black-oozing puncture wounds that closed as swiftly as they were made. The man had almost emptied his gun into Noah, but it seemed to make no difference. With every bullet that pierced Noah's skin, there was a momentary grimace of pain on his face, but then it would fade into something akin to annoyance.

The stranger's terrified gaze was fixed upon the spectacle of Noah’s impossible healing.

He sat up, stumbling backward, "What are you?" he stuttered out in raw fear.

Noah only sneered down at him, silent for a moment while he held the man's gaze.

"'What am I?'" Noah replied, amusement dancing in his eyes as he laughed, reaching for the gun before kneeling before him, "I'm your worst fucking nightmare."

Noah’s hands wrapped around the jaw of the man who helped murder his beloved, fingers clenching so tight that the stranger screamed in agony.

"I'm what happens," he began, his voice gravelly and resonating throughout the room, slowly placing the gun in the man’s mouth, "when you cross a line you shouldn't have."

Everyone watched in silent horror as clicked the gun into place.

Noah's cold eyes didn't waver from the stranger's terrified gaze as he pressed the barrel deeper into the man’s mouth.

"You had a choice," Noah said gently as if offering comfort. The words were a chilling contrast to the violent act being committed, "You chose... poorly."

Noah pulled the trigger.

The sound of the gunshot filled the bar, bouncing off the walls and ceiling before eventually fading into a deafening silence; and the man's body slumped to the floor, his life extinguished in an instant.

Noah rose to his feet, dropping the gun beside the fresh corpse. He turned to face the patrons of the bar, their faces ghostly pale in fear.

His wounds had all but healed now, only small traces of black remained where the bullets had once been.

“When someone you love dies, you know emptiness, you will know what it’s like to be completely, and utterly alone. you will never forget- and you will never, ever, forgive.”

He glanced at the bartender, her face of horror leaving him unphased.

“Thanks for the drink.”

As Noah walked toward the door of the bar, he noticed a silver gleam reflecting off the wall.

The sword glistened in temptation, and he reached over, ripping it from its clasps.

He held it up, admiring its beauty for a moment before he turned it in his hands, feeling the weight of it. The steel was cool against his skin, the grip worn from use but still comfortable. It was a tool of destruction, the quiet partner to the gun that lay beside the dead man.

Noah left the bar, looking up at the crow as it bellowed, taking flight once again.

He hadn’t got a name from the bar, but the crow began leading him to the perpetrator responsible for his sorrow.

As he stepped into the night, the chill of revenge pulsated through his veins, blending seamlessly with the bitter sting of loss. The darkened path ahead swallowed up his silhouette, but the reflection of moonlight off his new weapon traced a silver wake behind him.

He followed the crow as it led him through dark alleys and abandoned streets.

Soon, they arrived at an abandoned warehouse barely visible in the cloak of darkness.

The crow perched itself on a broken window ledge, its beady eyes reflecting Noah's grim resolve. He inspected the katana once more before gripping it tightly and pushing open the warehouse door.

The musty and grimy floor held nothing but wither and age.

‘Over there.’

The crow spoke, its voice a gnarled whisper. Its beady eyes darted towards a doorway shrouded in shadows as it hung above.

Noah moved cautiously, his grip tightening around the hilt of the weapon until he could hear the voices of the warehouse.

He came upon the doorway, somehow darker than the rest of the dimly lit room. Pushing through, the room opened up into a large open space, dotted with crates and discarded machinery—a skeleton of past industry.

At its center sat a man, his back to Noah, seemingly oblivious to his presence.

Noah clutched the sword tighter as he took one step forward, then another.

As he moved closer, he saw the man turn slightly—enough for Noah to see the cruel glint in his eye. This was him—the one who had wreaked havoc on his life.

‘Kill him. Avenge her.’

The man turned fully now - his face a mirror of malice under a sliver of dim light leaking from the creaky old window. His lips curled up into a sinister grin as he stood.

“You survived,” He sounded surprised shaking his head, “I was sure Jiggs had done one on ya.”

Noah’s snarl only grew as the stranger continued to speak.

“You were wrong,” Noah spat, emotion making his voice tremble slightly as he advanced.

The sword in his hand felt heavy, but not too much so, and he could feel the strength coursing through his veins.

The man laughed, a sharp, cruel sound that bounced off the warehouse wall, “Well,” he said with a smirk, “you’re little girlfriend must be dead, then.”

Noah’s breathing grew heavier as his chest screamed, anger seeping through his limbs.

“Why’d you do it!” He blared, taking a step forward.

The man chuckled, his eyes gleaming with a predatory satisfaction, “Why? Because it was fun."

Noah felt his heart hammer in his chest, a rage so potent it nearly choked him.

He forced the words out through gritted teeth. "She didn't deserve it."

"No one ever does." The man replied coolly, shrugging his shoulders with an air of detached indifference.

With a battle cry that rang throughout the abandoned warehouse, Noah charged, brandishing his katana and aiming for the man's chest. Time seemed to slow as he watched the man step aside with ease and swipe at Noah with a sharp, shiny object that came from nowhere.

Suddenly, Noah found himself tumbling to the ground, the pain spreading across his arm like wildfire. Gritting through the pain, he pushed off the ground with his good arm and spun around to face his opponent again.

Noah screamed again as he swung his katana around in a swift arc, and the crow watched from its perch—a final cheerleader in this fatal dance.

The man dodged, and with another swift, unexpected movement, he lunged forward, catching Noah's torso in his grasp. Wrenching him close, the man’s eyes gleamed with savage delight.

"So much fight for a dying boy!"

‘Noah!’ A voice echoed through the warehouse, a mimic that shocked him to the core.

It was your voice.

Ignoring the man's tightening grip on him, Noah turned his head towards the sound, but nobody was there.

‘Noah, my love.’

The music of your voice crawled through his mind as he screamed, heart racing with reprisal.

You were merely a mirage dancing through his memory as he swung the weapon, slicing the murderer’s arm.

The man’s grip loosened as Noah stumbled back, before running toward him again.

His vision blurred with the pain and anger, yet he could still see your face — those beautiful eyes, filled with life and love.

His body gave you everything as his fingers dug into your hips, holding you steadily against him. He pounded into you with so much passion, that he knew he would give up everything to spend eternity with you. Your mouth hung open in devotion as you held onto his arms, screaming his name in all the love he gave you.

“I love you,” you cried, nails clawing at his neck to pull him into a kiss, his tongue encircling your own.

“I love you most,” he moaned, face shoved into the crook of your collarbone as he relished in your body, claiming you as his forever.

The memory was so vivid, so potent.

Noah’s grip on the katana tightened and he lunged forward once more.

"There is nothing for you here," he spat at the man, words laced with venom.

He could see surprise flicker in his opponent's eyes.

Noah used this moment to attack, driving his katana straight for the man's heart.

But like a snake, the man twisted away at the last moment, Noah's blade tearing through his shirt and grazing his skin. Yet it did enough damage.

The man howled in pain, stumbling back with a hand clutching his bleeding side.

Noah pounced again, but this time he wasn't aiming for death.

He kicked out hard and fast, smashing into the man's knee with a crack that echoed through the warehouse. The man howled, collapsing onto the floor as his legs gave way beneath him.

Through a haze of pain and malice, Noah stared down at his fallen adversary. His chest heaved yet there was no room for mercy in his heart.

The memories of you lingered, fueling him, igniting the fire that had been dying since your demise. With every intake of breath, your scent filled his senses and your voice played like a broken symphony in his ears.

He moved over to the fallen man, pressing the katana's edge into his chest. The man squirmed, gasping for breath but Noah only pushed harder.

Your face flashed before him again, a beacon of pure love, forever lost to him.

"You took her from me," Noah continued, his voice shaking with unrestrained anger, “My everything.”

“My valentine has hollow eyes,” the brunette seethed, pushing the blade into the man’s flesh, "No mercy."

Noah twisted the katana as it pierced through his skin, and the man's eyes bulged in pain.

"No mercy," he echoed himself, his voice scarcely audible over the man's agonized screams.

The cold steel slid into his adversary's chest with sickening ease, each centimetre driving home the finality of what Noah was doing. He watched as the life drained from the murderer’s eyes, replaced with the fear of an impending death.

As the man's struggles grew weaker, Noah leaned in closer, his breath ghosting over his enemy's face.

"You will feel every bit of the pain you inflicted upon her," he whispered harshly, "You will know the agony of a soul being ripped apart, just as you did to mine."

The warehouse was filled with an eerie lull now, broken only by desperate whimpers and gasps for air.

Blood stained the concrete ground beneath them; a dark, macabre painting of their dance.

Slowly, Noah extracted his katana, watching as the vacant eyes of his prey stared back, lifeless and bleak as he slumped to the cement.

It was only then Noah let himself fall onto his knees, letting the katana fall onto the floor with a clang.

He let himself cry in anguish once again, a pain so visceral it threatened to swallow him whole.

"Forgive me," he choked out in between sobs, a desperate plea aimed at an unresponsive heaven. He didn't even know who he was asking forgiveness from, you or himself.

The remorse constricted his throat, a cruel mockery of the cathartic release he had envisioned. He'd set out to bring justice to your memory, a fiery knight blinded by grief and revenge.

Yet there he was, kneeling amongst scattered shards of his shattered soul.

The world hadn't changed its course; the stars above hadn't dimmed in acknowledgment of your absence.

"No mercy," he'd said, convinced that by extinguishing the life of your murderer, he'd somehow restore balance.

But now? Nothing felt balanced. Nothing felt right. The emptiness inside him gaped wider, mocking him with its silent echo.

A faint chill blew through the warehouse's broken window, carrying with it the scent of impending winter.

His face felt numb against the bitterness, a physical counterpart to his numbed soul.

The city beneath him remained indifferent to his grief. Cracks of neon lights pierced through the dingy windows, casting their fluorescent glow upon the cold concrete floor of the warehouse. The irony was not lost on him; even in death, the city sought to breathe life into everything it touched.

Noah looked up towards the night sky out one of the windows. Once he’d believed the stars whispered stories of love and heroism, of warriors dancing with celestial beings under their luminous watch.

Those tales now seemed like a cruel mockery, a jester’s tale spun to amuse the lords of fate.

Yet in his heart, he wished they could’ve come true.

His hands were still stained with the lifeblood that had drained away before him. He felt its striking warmth persistently, reminding him of the life force he had extinguished. The hands that held you tenderly, and stroked your hair with love and care, were now instruments of destruction.

For days, he wandered, unsure of where to go or what to become. The crow no longer spoke.

When the day came for your funeral, he sat next to your grave, leaning against the cold stone. Noah could no longer bring himself to cry. His eyes had been left dry and lifeless, lost in eternal drought.

‘It’s not death if you refuse it… it is if you accept it.’

The voice was so clear, for the first time in days.

Noah looked above, staring at the black bird once again.

“I want it to rain,” he spoke slowly, “please.”

The bird watched in understanding as Noah’s fingers held the rope between his fingers.

Giving his soul to the crows of the afterlife, he knew his spirit could finally rest, now that it avenged yours.

Hopefully, you were there, waiting for him on the other side.

tags:

@thefallennightmare @xxkittenkissesxx @deathblacksmoke @nyxisnotok @anameunmusical

@sitkowski @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86

@whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13

@somewhere-diamond @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak

@darkmxgician @sprokat @thatchickwiththecamera @reyadawn @xserenax-13

@philomenie @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @blend-in-with-the-madness @rumoured-whispers

@anything-more-than-human @blacksoul-27 @sweetwombatpizza @bluestdai

#Noah Sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #Noah Sebastian smut #noah sebastian x reader #Noah Sebastian fanfic #the crow fanfiction #the crow #bad omens band

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prosciuttoon · 7 months ago

Text

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #toshiro nakamoto #shuro dungeon meshi

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aroace-madness · 6 days ago

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So i had a convo on divine discord (mostly with @toobytoobs) and I decided to make it into a post

Here are some pictures for context on how it because ya'll are gonna need it

Then there is some more stuff about the Leauge worrying about Billy and then there is a mention of Freddy storming into the Watchtower and berating the league for breaking Billys arm

And that's how we got here

Freddy: how DARE you, brake my baby brothers arm

Clark: wait, you're Captains older brother? Does that mean that the Wizard created you before him?

Freddy "ready to stir shit up" Freeman: huh? Oh yeah but I was sort of a failed experiment because of my bad leg

Bruce: experiment?

Freddy: yeah, now tell me how did you find out about the wizard

Diana: we got Captian drunk and he just started babbling about everything

Freddy: excuse you got him drunk? Sigh ok i'm kinda angry since he's my responsibility, it doesn't matter that i'm only a few months older than him

Barry: you're older only by a few months?

Freddy: yeah I am, is it really that surprising? I watched that giant grow up from the beggining and let me tell you he was hopeless couldn't even walk properly, even I walked better than him and my leg is bummed

Bruce: hm, really?

Freddy: yup, the first year was rather rough since I had to teach him everything because that stupid wizard decided to die before he could do anything

The JL: mild concern

Freddy: he also had the audacity to die right in front of Billy

J'onn: Billy?

Freddy: oh yeah, we didn't really have names for a long time at first, when we met some humans for the first time we decided to give ourselves a name, he chose William

The leauge is very concerned about the no name thing, what kind of parent doesn't name their children

Freddy mentions their sister and how she got kidnapped which made the leauge belive that the wizard did not care about her and just wanted a champion, hence why he made Freddy but he came out a "dud", and that's why Cap exists

Freddy completely forgot about what he did and is completely oblivious to what he caused

At some point Cap mentions the wizard in a present tense and confuses the JL

He explains that his ghost just hangs around the rock of eternity but is not helpful at all which makes the league want to punch the wizard even more

Captian says that he's just happy that he talks to him because he just ignores Freddys and Marys existance, that makes the leauge belive that he just ignored Freddys existance during the first few months of his life

At some point they start to belive that Mary wasn't ever kidnapped, just discarded to the side because the wizard believed she was defective

When the Leauge finally meets Mary they ask her about the Wizard, she has no idea who they're talking about

It leads them to believe that the wizard got rid of her before she even developed conciousenes

After they explain to her who they are talking about she finally gets it, she tells them how she doesn't really know him but Freddy seems to not like him

The leauge is seriously concerned for their friend and his siblings

Once they ask Captian if the wizard is his father (just to confirm some things) he answers no, that just because that man gave him his powers and brought meaning to his life doesn't mean that that's his father. They ask Freddy the same thing, he just looks at them with disgust, they ask Mary too, she looks at them like they're stupid

They really want to punch that wizard now because how much of a terrible father must you be that not a single one of your kids considers you their parent

This post doesn't do justice to the entire convo so to anyone who's on the divine discord I advise going to the writting channel and scrolling back a bit, there is a message connected to one of the first messages of this whole thing (and trust me there is a lot)

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cliophilyra · 10 days ago

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Fuck It Friday

A not-entirely-brief snippet of Bucktommy post-break-up daddy kink smut (smut not appearing in this clip) inspired by this post by @ohithankyou - thank you so much for the inspiration! 🩷This is very much a WIP so how much of it makes to the final version we shall see...

It's not the first time of course, at this point in his career he has lost his fair share of victims. But it's the first one since. The first one since he'd started thinking that maybe he wouldn't have to face it alone anymore. That next time it happened there would be someone to come home to who understood rather than just sympathised. Someone who would always be there to look after him, care for him, take him out of his own head when he needed it. Someone he could do that for as well. He feels like every atom of his body is crying out for him. He can't stop fucking crying. His throat hurts, he's dragging in lungfuls of air like he's drowning. He feels like he is. He pushes the call button before he can convince himself not too. The phone rings, he stops breathing, finger hovering. He's just about to end the call, telling himself he's a mess, a basket case, pathetic, when a voice says, "hello?" and Buck feels like his whole chest has been ripped open, the air is gone from his lungs and someone is squeezing his throat in a fist. He tries to speak but he chokes, tears brimming over. The only word he can get out is, "Daddy…" before the sobs come again. He hears a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line but Tommy's voice is soft. "I'll be right there," he says before he hangs up. Buck chokes again and a sound somewhere between a cry and a laugh of relief bubbles out of his throat. ______

It seems like only moments before there's a knock at the door. Buck gets up on shaky legs and navigates the stairs as carefully as he can while wanting to take them three at a time and also to stay at the top forever. He pauses with his hand on the door handle. Is this a terrible idea? It's a terrible idea. He is pathetic. This is not Tommy's problem anymore. He shouldn't have to put up with this. A smaller voice in the back of his head says, he doesn't have to put up with this anymore. But he's here anyway. He reaches out and opens the door. Tommy looks the way Buck looks when he sees himself in the mirror. There are dark circles under his eyes. His cheekbones are a little more prominent than when he last saw him. Buck has a million things he wants to say. He opens his mouth and instead of any of the words in his head all that comes out is a wracking sob. Tommy steps forward immediately and pulls him into his arms. "Oh my sweet boy, it's ok, daddy's got you. Daddy's got you sweetheart."

Tagging the usual suspects :) @rdng1230 @bucksbignaturals @nine-one-wanton @thecarrott @louisferrignojr

@leandra-kinard @bangpop91 @wikiangela @peppermintquartz @epiphainie

@judymarch15 @thatmexisaurusrex @marvelousbuckley @desert--moonchild @rubydaiquiri

@theotherbuckley @hardly-an-escape @daddy-kinard @aplaceinme @racerchix21

(Apologies to anyone I've missed - a lot of names have changed recently and I am too old to remember who's who now)

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #bucktommy fic #fuck it friday

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fantasyandshit · 7 months ago

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Replaced part two

Omg I’m so upset- it won’t let me tag like anyone with dashes in their name at allll soooo if you commented on that post I am so so so sorry I couldn’t tag you guys

Type: one shot turned more

Part: 2/2

Part 1 here

Masterlist here

Pairing: Azriel x reader/ mystery character x reader

Seriously guys thank you so much- I’m so glad that the first part had so much love and I hope this one is just as good.

“So, what did you need my love?” I lean down to kiss my fiancés temple. He’s stressed, I can tell. His fingers tap away in rhythm with his foot. “Baby- what’s going on? Why are you so stressed?” My hands run down the length of his arms in a soothing motion. “How can I help you?”

The new high lord of autumn’s head meets my shoulder, a small smile gracing his lips. His head raises till his lips meet mine in a soft kiss. “Baby I need you to sit down.” His smile disappears as soon as it came and I frown, moving to the seat on the other side of his desk. I raise my brows expectantly as his hands move to reach mine. “Love- we have a high lords meeting in two weeks time. They have requested it be held here in order to see how I’m handling the court now.”

“Ok? And?”

“Darling I want to introduce you as the new high lady of Autumn. I want you come along.” He sighs, “it means you will have to see all of them again.”

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I breath for a moment, thinking about it, it’s been nearly five years since I left, the last time I saw any of them was the battle with Hybern, and even then Eris kept me mostly away from them so that I wasn’t distracted. “I’ll go.”

“Are you sure darling?”

“Very. I want them to see me as the high lady of autumn. Not the girl that left all that time ago.”

He smirks his signature smirk, pride filling his eyes. “Very well. Shall we begin planning?”

———

Everyone has finally arrived- or what is usually everyone, confusion sets in as Eris seems to sit in waiting, an empty chair beside him at the head of the table. “Are we waiting for someone Eris?”

“Yes actually. Shell be here any moment, she likes making an entrance.” Something bothers Azriel with the way the high lord smirks. He didn’t know who was going to walk through that door but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it.

The door swings open, a woman stepping through, decked in a gorgeous burnt orange dress, green and gold accents around her body, a golden crown, one looking like leaves woven together rests on her head. As her eyes catch Eris’ she smiles. “Sorry I’m late. Hope you haven’t started without me.” She surveys the room before stepping towards the empty seat. Eris stands, going to pull it out with one hand and take hers on his other. The pause for a moment, facing the table together.

“Everyone. I’d like you to meet my fiance and the high lady of the Autumn court. Some of you may already know her.”

As the female turns to kiss Eris, it clicks for Azriel. “Yn.” He can’t help but gasps and that is when it finally hits the inner circle of the night court.

“Hello guys. Long time no see.”

Cassian speaks this time, his brows furrowed and mouth agape, “you- your with him? Your the high the high lady?”

“Yes, in fact our wedding is next month. I am terribly excited. Especially after being named the high lady of Autumn.” She and Eris sit finally, hands staying tied together

An agony Azriel has never felt tears through him as he stares at his mate. She looks back to him as he gasps, clenching his chest wildly.

“Azriel. I’d like to get through my first meeting as high lady. So if you could stop…flailing. That would be preferred.” Yn clears her throat before turning to the others at the table. “I’ve seen some things. I see Koshei. I thought we took care of our issues with him, however I-“

The meeting continues, the night court still trying to process the news. After the meeting is finished, the high lords are given a walk through of the new Autumn court. “Yn. Yn can we speak please.” It was towards the end of the tour, courts had been led to where they’d be staying, only the inner circle trailed behind, minus Morrigan and Cassian who had been dropped off to their respective rooms.

I choose to ignore the shadowsinger, instead stopping at the next door and turn back to Rhysand and Feyre, “You two will be staying here. This castle works much like the house of wind. It will cater to you, we do tend keep things much warmer here for obvious reasons so if you are uncomfortable with the temperature just say the word and it will be brought down by the house.”

“Goodnight Yn.” I nod before turning back to lead the final male to where he’d be staying, Eris never leaving my side. We barely make it three steps down the hall before I feel Rhsyand pry at my mental walls.

‘What do you want Rhysand.’

‘You should talk to him Yn. He’s been devastated since you left and see you with Eris killed him I-‘

I shut it down. I don’t want to hear some sob story from my mate who didn’t even want me till I was gone. “You will be staying here Azriel. What I said to Rhysand and Feyre goes the same for you.”

Me and Eris turn to leave before I’m grabbed by the arm. “Wait. Yn can we please just talk.”

Eris growls. “Get your filthy hands off my fucking finance.”

The shadowsinger seems to get just as upset, opening his mouth to speak before I rip my arm from his grasp and turn, a glare resting on my features.

“Don’t you fucking dare! You have no right- no fucking right to get angry at my fiancée! Do you understand, you didn’t want me and I don’t fucking want you so go wallow in your self pity but stay the hell away from me!” Eris rubs soothing circles on my arm, a glare that could kill sent towards the shadowsinger as he grabs me, winnowing us to our room.

—————

Sooo I hope this lives up to your guys’ expectations!

#acotar x reader #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel #elain archeron #elain x reader #feyre archeron #feyre x reader #nesta archeron #nesta x reader #cassian x reader #cassian #rhysand x reader #rhysand #eris vanserra #eris x reader #replaced #angst #no happy ending

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auspicioustidings · 8 months ago

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Ae Fond Kiss - Part 2

Love in the Guise of Friendship

Summary: 6 months pass and you learn to deal with your grief with help from an unexpected source. Words: 3.2k TWs: allusions to suicidal thoughts

Parts: 1 2 3

13 days after the world ended

“Please take him.”

You were a terrible mother. You couldn’t even hold your own son. You hoped as Joseph cried and Kyle took him and tried to soothe him that someone would come and take the baby away from you. You didn’t deserve to have something so precious when every time you held him you wanted to throw up. A few times you had, putting him down quickly and diving for the toilet. Head leant on the toilet seat, sweaty hair sticking to it and looking at the little thing on the hard tiled floor whose eyes belonged to a spectre, you sometimes wished you would do the right thing and just die already so someone better could take him.

Kyle had stayed in your flat since the world ended. Johnny’s mother had wanted to and it was a small mercy that she hadn’t pushed. The idea of her being there made you want to lay down and let the earth swallow you up. You hadn’t seen Price although the groceries that arrived every few days had his name next to the order. Nothing at all from Ghost. You wondered if he found you disgusting. Sometimes it felt like he could see right to the heart of you. Sometimes it felt like he had seen the ugliness when your baby had died, and then he had seen it when your husband had died, and now he knew that you were wretched and unfit for love. You half expected him to show up in the night to take Joseph away.

“Come on little man, can’t be giving your mum such a hard time. If this is what you’re like now you’ll drive her right mental when you start teething.”

Fuck. The sob that came out of you was a broken and pathetic thing. It was just that Johnny had said something similar when you had first taken Joseph home. As it did at least five times a day, the grief smothered you so entirely that Kyle had to steer you into the nest of blankets and pillows you had built yourself on the couch. He was staying in the bedroom with Joseph right now. You couldn’t go in there yet. You didn’t know when you would be able to.

“It’s ok, we’ll try again tomorrow yeah?”

You managed a limp nod as you burrowed into the bedding that had stopped smelling like cosiness among a winter pine forest a week ago. You would try again tomorrow.

–

23 days after the world ended

“She can’t be on her own.”

Simon had hoped that you’d be at least a little better by now. You’d never be ok, he more than anyone understood that, but you would learn to live again. You hadn’t seen him since that horrible night. The 141 never officially attended the family funeral, they had taken a portion of the ashes and held their own memorial for their fallen brother. But Ghost had seen you, had been there in the shadows keeping watch.

He had near threatened to quit if Gaz wasn’t given leave to stay with you. He had asked him to, although he suspected he might have done it anyway. You needed someone and after seeing how you had paled speaking with Johnny’s family he had made arrangements. Mrs MacTavish hadn’t been happy to stay away, but he was blunt when he told her that despite her best intentions, being around Johnny’s family would break you right now. He was steadfast in his belief that there was still enough of you left to break.

“Garrick…”

“Don’t Garrick me Lieutenant. You… you’re better at this kind of thing than I am. Stop being a prat and get over here, she needs you right now.”

“We don’t even like each other.”

“You don’t have to. You understand each other, that’s enough.”

He knew that Gaz was right. If anyone understood this sort of all encompassing grief, it was going to be him. He had already pulled you back from it once before. But it was different this time. This time his own grief was choking him and if he added it to yours he was scared it would kill you both.

It was selfishness that had kept him away this long. Gaz was grieving too and he had been left with the responsibility of keeping your head above the water in the sea you had made of your sorrow. He had stayed by your side even when his own support system was waiting for him in his London flat. He had met Gaz’s partner a few times, he knew they would be there to soothe him like he needed. But because Ghost was a fucking coward, instead his Seargent (the one he hadn’t let fucking die in his arms) was with you. Only now the cracks were starting to show and Gaz needed to be home before he splintered entirely under the weight of it all.

“Ghost?”

“Ok. I’ll be round tomorrow.”

–

30 days after the world ended

“You have got to be kidding.”

There was no way that the big scary man in the balaclava, that you still hadn’t seen him without despite your best efforts, was this hopeless at cooking.

“S’too fucking long! Or your pot isn’t big enough!”

Oh God he sounded so unlike himself right then. Gone was the gruff, smug bastard and in his place was, dare you say, someone embarrassed. And he damn well should be in honesty. What grown man couldn’t even make spaghetti? All the pasta noodles had a section of scorching from where they had been left laying against the edge of the pot. There was a startling sound in the air, one you had forgotten existed. His eyes were wide as it carried through the room. It took you a moment to parse the sound. It was coming from you. You were laughing.

His wide eyed surprise quickly giving way to a glare over the fact that you would dare laugh at his expense only made you laugh harder, clutching at your stomach with one arm and wiping frantically at your watering eyes with the other.

“Big scary skull man defeated by Italian food!” you wheezed, your entire body clinging to the feeling of giddy lightness at this moment. “Is that why you wear it? Hiding the mortification from being outdone by” you paused to read the packet and the ridiculousness of it only made you laugh hard enough to be snorting like a pig, “Fedelini number 10!”

Ghost nearly ripped off his balaclava right there and then to prove he was not in fact mortified which would have been a disaster considering his logical brain was certain his cheeks and ears were burning red, but little Joseph rescued him from the further humiliation when he gave a happy gurgle from his high chair that had you scooping him up. You were laughing and cooing at him as you showed him the burnt pasta, telling him about the big scary skull man who was hiding his face for fear of reprisal from every Italian on the planet.

It was the first time you had held him without those storm clouds in your eyes and that awful rigidity from all the tension swimming through you. He was struck terrified for a moment that he would fuck up and this fragile happiness would shatter, but when you turned to him, making fun of him through the baby, his mouth was moving before he could overthink it.

“Your ma’s a brat Joe. She forgets that I saw her attempt at a birthday cake.”

“It was avant garde! And it was still delicious!” you said with a gasp of outrage that he would dare to bring up the great birthday cake disaster of 2021.

“You know he only told you that to spare your feelings, right princess?”

You pressed Joseph to your chest with a hand to his ear, feigning blocking him from hearing such slander.

“This is why the universe messed up your hearing J, to protect you from all these lies coming from casper over here.”

The pasta was thrown out and you ordered in (Italian of course). Now that you could hold Joseph without your gut roiling you found you didn’t want to stop, but you still paused at the bedroom door and passed him off to Ghost instead. He didn’t push it, not tonight, not after you had laughed and held Joe and not drowned at the mention of something Johnny had said. Soon though. He was getting you back into a proper bed soon.

–

2 months after the world ended

Price was staying out of it although taking great amusement in watching it happen (even if his heart felt like it was in a woodchipper watching the biggest two casualties of his war). Joseph in his arms was happy to tug at his beard and not too concerned about the fight happening.

You were like a fucking feral cat is what Ghost thought as you kicked your legs and battered your fists against his back. He didn’t really think about it when he laid a spank on your ass causing an indignant squawk from you. Maybe if either of you were willing to see one another as anything but enemies it might have caused an entirely different reaction.

“You put me down you fucking animal!”

“Language princess, little ears listening.”

Oh he thought he was hilarious clearly since you both knew Price had turned off Joe’s hearing aid the minute this started kicking off. You thought otherwise. Stupid bonehead didn’t have a funny bone in his body. Prick.

“I’m not bloody sleeping there!”

“Yes you bloody are!”

He had coaxed you into the bedroom over the last few weeks, but despite his efforts you still wouldn’t sleep in the bed and he had completely run out of patience. Compassion had been fully overruled by annoyance. You were an absolute pain in his arse and it was driving him crazy that you would be so stubborn about this.

Plus he was starting to get antsy about sleeping on the bedroom floor. Since you were on the couch he couldn’t take that, and even though the bed smelled faintly of Gaz which would have been fine, the first time he had laid down in it the bottom pillow still held a whisper of whiskey in front of a fireplace, frosted pine trees perfuming through a window. So he had slept on the floor and not told you. Then he had just sort of kept doing it.

“Jesus fuck woman!” he hissed when your nails dragged up his back as he crossed the threshold to the bedroom.

“Should’ve wore your fucking kevlar if you were intending on getting into a fight with me. I’m going to rip you apart casper.”

He laughed as he grabbed your hips and up ended you over his shoulder and onto the bed, an offt coming from you as you bounced. You hadn’t been on this bed since the world ended. The thought of it would floor you. It had taken a monumental effort to even be in the room. Ghost had only convinced you with the fact that Joe slept better with the crib in the bedroom and needed his mum to put him down for naps and sleeps.

Only now all the panic you usually felt in this room, all the horror of the idea of being in this bed, was crushed under the weight of your fury at this idiot’s smug eyes looking down at you. Not on your life would you let him win a fight. Just because he was a lumbering giant with bad taste in masks did not mean he could take you on. So instead of hyperventilating and crawling off the bed to curl up on the floor and cry, you lunged to throttle him.

When the growling and yelling stopped a minute or so later Price peeked into the room to make sure you hadn’t actually killed one another to find both of you in the bed, your back to Simon’s chest with his legs pinning yours and his arms holding you lightly in a sleeper hold. Not enough to significantly cut off your oxygen, but enough to immobilise you and have you silently simmering with rage at being caught.

There were red lines down Simon’s arms, claw marks. Your hair was a mess, mussed and wrecked from what must have been a savage wrestling match. Was that…? Price laughed as he bounced Joseph.

“Better hope she isn’t rabid Simon.”

“He started it” you grumbled, maybe a little chagrined now faced with the reality of Captain John Price seeing teeth marks on his soldier’s forearm.

Joseph perked up and chubby little hands flailed as he reached toward you. Price sat down on the edge of the bed to hand the little bundle of trouble over into your arms, Ghost’s hold loosening as his legs released yours and his arms dropped, hands finding a comfortable position lightly resting on your hips.

Neither of you put any conscious thought into the position, you sat between his legs, almost leant back on his chest with the baby cooing happily in your arms as Ghost waggled his eyebrows over your shoulder. You were both content to just lay all your attention on the most perfect baby to have ever existed and his beautiful eyes.

The woodchipper whirred violently.

–

4 months after the world ended

You didn’t know what was more startling about the fact that Ghost had just burst into the bathroom with Joseph in his arms, the fact that you were naked in the bath or the fact that you could see Simon Riley.

He sort of lived with you now, neither of you willing to be the first to voice that you were doing a lot better these days and probably didn’t need someone living in to make sure you didn’t go off the deep end. You thought Kyle was going to say something about it last time he visited, but he seemed to think better of it and kept quiet.

But in all that time you had never seen him without his mask. You had caught glimpses of a strong jawline when he ate, seen clear eyes when he stopped putting eye black on them a few weeks back. Strangely after wanting to trick him into letting you see him, you had ignored the chance of it a week ago. He had been leaning over the crib and you caught a glimpse of skin that told you he had his balaclava off. Only you didn’t walk in. You don’t know why you didn’t. Instead you quietly left the room again and stood by the wall outside, covering your mouth to smother an unexpected sob when you heard the soft sound of a lullaby being sung.

He was a wild and twisted sort of handsome (not that he hadn’t told you several times he was good looking, for such a large and intimidating man he was actually a bit of an arrogant, smug tosser once you got to know him). The scars didn’t really make you flinch, you were married to Johnny after all and while his face wasn’t too badly marked up outside of a few knicks and small lines he had plenty of gnarled scar tissue around his body. You had been married to him. His face hadn’t been too badly marked.

“Ok, hang on, let’s do it again for mum Joe.”

Simon looked almost crazed as he stuck his tongue out at your son, seemingly not bothered in the slightest that you were still very much completely naked in the bath. You would have screamed at him to get out, only as he started screwing up his nose and crossing his eyes J laughed and any concern about your state of dress or his rude interruption died in your throat.

“Oh… oh my God! Fuck wait where’s my phone! Can you do it again J? Is Simon’s face funny?” you cooed, nearly sliding and cracking your head open as you rushed to your feet and lunged out of the tub to get your phone from the counter so you could make sure you had video evidence of this moment forever.

Both an unmasked Simon and a dripping wet and naked you cooed and made silly faces and laughed along for the next 10 minutes before Joseph decided he was well and truly tuckered out from practising his new talent and conked out on Simon’s shoulder.

Only without the excitement of baby’s first laugh did you both realise the situation and blink in shock at one another. Simon’s eyes flickered briefly over you, and absolutely ass that he was he bit his lip to stifle a laugh.

“Nice piercing.”

Your face blazed red. Simon Riley had no business knowing that you had a barbell through the hood of your clit.

“Cute scars.”

Simon found the tips of his ears warming. You had no business knowing that he had a variety of scars on his face.

As if the spell keeping you both frozen in place broke, you snatched a towel and turned to wrap yourself in it while he turned his back so you couldn’t see his face. Both stood in the bathroom, backs to one another, there was an awkward beat of hesitation with neither of you knowing how to diffuse this situation.

“I’ll… put him down. I’ll put him down.”

“Yes. Yeah. I’ll just… get dressed.”

“Right.”

You were both very careful to not bring it up again, even when Simon never wore the balaclava around the house after that.

–

6 months after the world ended

It was love in the guise of friendship. Neither of you were stupid enough to acknowledge it.

–

2 hours after the fuck up of the century

“Permission to speak freely Captain.”

“Granted.”

“I fucking told ye so. Simmons has always been a shitebag, and now he’s fucked us.”

“...I won’t make you stay.”

“Aye, but we both know if I pull out of this now the world gets dirty.”

The despair settled into Price’s bones. John MacTavish should be on his way to exfil right now, but instead was on the other end of a burner phone as Price sat in the helo that wouldn’t be taking his Sergeant home as planned.

He hated this. He hated holding little Joseph MacTavish knowing that Soap was missing it. He hated looking at you and seeing the way your eyes sometimes glazed, mind drifting to your apparently dead husband. He hated looking at Simon and seeing a man slowly falling in love and drowning in guilt about it.

But he had to get dirty to keep the world clean.

So they changed the plan. Simmons had well and truly fucked it and now they needed to be in it for the long haul. John MacTavish would stay a dead man. Vladimir Makarov would be given no reason to suspect that his double agent was a triple agent, which meant a comms blackout until Soap was certain beyond doubt that it was time to pull the trigger. Nobody but him, Price and Laswell would ever know.

There was one thing asked of Price and he swore to it. He would do anything in his power to make sure you and Joseph were happy and looked after. He didn’t dare comment when after a moment, Soap added Simon Riley to that small list.

#mhairiwrites #cod #fanfic #soap x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #john mactavish x reader

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underground-secret · 8 months ago

Text

The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean Winchester x F! reader

Description: When Dean gets a call from an "old friend" asking for help, old feelings resurface leaving for messy feelings and a complicated hunt.

Warnings: canon violence, feelings of unrequited love, angst, loving someone being difficult, corpses, crime scenes, cursing, mentions of racism, racist ghost truck?

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld , @okayiamkassandra , @fablesrose , @ada--44 , @bonkydarnes , @star-yawnznn , @crazyunsexycool

Word Count: 9,251

Route 666

(Master list, Prev Ch, Next Chapter)

I lean against the expanse of the Impala, letting the bright sun shine over me. It was one of those cold but not cold days, where as long as the sun was hitting you it was perfectly right. Sam is next to me looking over the large map he has laid out on the hood of the car, trying to look for a way around a closed-off road.

I’m glad he knew what he was doing ‘cause my map and geography skills only went so far before I was lost.

Meanwhile, Dean was off to the side, his phone pressed to his ear his brows furrowed whoever he was talking to was clearly telling him something important and maybe shocking.

“Ok. I think I found a way we can bypass that construction just East of here,” Sam informs gaining my attention, “We might even make Pennsylvania faster than we thought.” I nod, taking advantage of his hunched-over figure to ruffle his hair, “Nice work, map man.” He snorts, rolling his eyes as he pushes my arm away playfully.

“Yeah. ‘Problem is, we’re not going to Pennsylvania” Dean points out, closing his phone and looking at it thoughtfully. I look at him confused, “We aren’t…?” He nods, wetting his lips, “I just got a call from an, uh, old friend. Her father was killed last night, think it might be our kind of thing.”

“What?” Sam vocalizes. “Yeah. Believe me, she never woulda called, never, if she didn’t need us” Dean clarifies. Without giving us any more information or even a chance to contemplate or counter his statement he gets in the car, “Come on, are you coming or not?”

The Impala cruises down the expanse of the road, a long beautifully green field on one side and a lake on the other. “By old friend you mean…?” Sam asks the question we were both undeniably thinking. “A friend that’s not new” Dean grumbles.

“Oh! Thanks, genius” I remark, he was being weird and that alone was not helping his case. “‘Said her name’s Cassie huh?” Sam said, trying a different angle, “You never mentioned her…”

“Didn’t I?” Dean remarks. He wasn't very good at hiding this one, the car falling silent in the wake of his stupid answer. He finally huffs, “Yeah, we went out.”

“You mean you dated somebody?” Sam asks with a snort, “For more than one night?”

“Oh come on Sammy we're all adults here, we’ve all dated before” I chime in with a smirk. He turns around in his seat, facing me with an expectant look, “Are we talking about the same person here? Dean doesn't date.” Sam exclaims and I push down the ache of that implication, “And aren’t you the least bit curious.”

“Oh no, I am,” I nod enthusiastically, laughing lightly, “I want all the details. I was just tryna be nice.”

He snickers, turning back to his brother, “You heard her, we want all the details.”

I swear Dean’s eye practically twitches, “Am I speaking a language you’re not getting here? Dad and I were working a job in Ohio, she was finishing up college. We went out for a coupla weeks.”

I want to ask how long ago this was, was it months before his dad disappeared or a year or more ago, but I hold back on my questioning. “And…?” Sam pushes. Dean shrugs slightly.

“Look, it’s terrible about her dad, but it kinda sounds like a standard car accident. I’m not seeing how it fits with what we do,” Sam reasons, “Which by the way, how does she know what we do?”

Dean doesn't answer again, silently shifting in his seat uncomfortably. The realization hits me like a brick, “Oh. My. God,” I lean forward in my seat almost getting choked out by my seatbelt, “You told her! You broke the number one hunting rule! You know, not telling anyone, ever!”

“More than that!” Sam adds, “It’s our big family rule. Number one. We do what we do and we shut up about it. For a year and a half, I did nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a coupla times and you tell her everything?!” I try not to think about my own relationships both romantic and not that rarely ever made it past a couple of months before it ended, not only having to lie about being a hunter but a witch too. Dean stays silent, staring straight ahead, “Dean!” Sam yells.

“Yeah. Looks like,” he finally acknowledges. He continues to stare ahead, pressing his foot down harder on the gas pedal. Sam shakes his head, giving his brother his classic bitchface.

“Oh. He had it bad” I laugh leaning back in my seat, ignoring the sinking and stabbing feeling in my heart. I figured I’d have to keep doing so on this hunt.

The office was dark, the bright sunlight not able to stretch upon the large room not even with the help of glass doors. The place could really open a couple of blinds, let the light shine in.

An old white man with an interesting-looking tie, one of those Western ones with the jewel and black tether, talks to two people a man and a woman their backs towards us. And the way Dean pauses, staring at the woman it isn't hard to deduce she's Cassie. She and the older black gentlemen next to her seem to be having some sort of dispute with the old white guy.

Then suddenly both of the men walk away, clearly frustrated, leaving Cassie to stand there herself. She turns around swiftly, and almost like a perfectly curated romance movie she nearly hits Dean only inches separating the two. I didn't even realize he had moved forward in the time we've been standing here.

Just looking at her I could tell why Dean fell for her, she's beautiful more than that. She could be a model with her beautiful long dark curls framing her face, full lips colored red, and big brown eyes. She must have stepped out of a magazine, everything about her screamed perfect down to her perfectly shaped eyebrows and perfect nose. “Dean,” she says, her voice smooth despite the look of slight apprehension.

He nods and grins, “Hey Cassie.” And they just stare at each other. He's looking at her in a way I’ve never seen him look at anyone before even despite the tension that hung in the air, unspoken words from however long ago.

His eyes seem to glimmer, you’d have to be a fool not to see he still has feelings for her, that they never went away in the first place. And that it’s more than just any feelings, he loves her and that is a hard pill to swallow.

He clears his throat, breaking the trance they were both in, “This is my brother Sam. And my friend Y/N.” She smiles at each of us before her gaze reverts to Dean, not that I could blame her in the slightest.

“Sorry ‘bout your dad,” he says.

“Yeah. Me too,” she answers.

Her family home was beautiful and extraordinarily large, it was a bit disturbing. Though maybe that was because it reminded me of my home before moving to Kansas, or at least what I remember of it. We sat in the sitting room on vintage settees, another reminder of that home–my mother would quite like the look of this cozy room.

Cassie finally comes back adorning a tray of tea cups and a teapot along with the little bowl of sugar and a small pouring cup of milk, could she get any more perfect and wonderful? “My mothers in pretty bad shape. I’ve been staying with her. I wish she wouldn’t go off by herself. She’s been so nervous and frightened. She was worried about Dad,” she explains.

“Why?” Dean asks as she takes a seat across from us. He was watching her every move as if dedicating it to memory, I wonder if he’s thinking ‘She moves in the same manner she used to’ or maybe that it changed. Suddenly I was not so okay with sitting between the boys even though that's almost how we always sat when talking to someone on a hunt, as it made it harder for them to fight and made them slightly more comfortable with squishing into sofas with their large frames. But now, being in the middle I could easily watch how he looked at her, studied her.

She skillfully pours tea into each cup, “He was scared. He was seeing things.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“He swore he saw an awful-looking black truck following him,” she responds carefully.

“A truck, did he see a driver?” I ask, diligently accepting the beautiful teacup she handed me. I take a careful sip of the black tea, of course she would know and pick the perfect tea for guests. Does she have any flaws?

“He didn’t talk about a driver,” she answers, “Just the truck. He said it would appear and disappear. And, in the accident, Dad’s car was dented, like it had been slammed into by something big.”

Sam accepts his cup of tea, “Thanks. Now you’re sure this dent wasn’t there before?” And as predictable as Dean was he looked at his cup weirdly before depositing it back on the tray, that man was not a tea person he’d take a coffee or a beer any day. I think the only reason he drank the tea I gave him when he was sick was because he knew how desperate Sammy and I were.

“He sold cars. Always drove a new one. There wasn’t a scratch on that thing,” she explains, “It had rained hard that night. There was mud everywhere. There was a distinct set of muddy tracks leading from Dad’s car…leading right to the edge, where he went over.” She swallows harshly, bowing her head, “One set of tracks. His.”

Dean’s face softens, eyes filling with sympathy, “The first was a friend of your father's?” She nods, “Best friend. Clayton Soames. They owned the car dealership together. Same thing. Dent. No tracks. And the cops said exactly what they said about Dad. He ‘lost control of his car.’”

I force my brain to rid itself of any thoughts of Dean and Cassie's relationship. This was like any other hunt, something weird is going on and we are here to help, nothing more.

It was weird, cars don't just drive off the road like that and then have newly made dents that match another vehicle. “Is there any reason you can think of as to why your father and his partner might've been targets? Competition?” I ask. She shakes her head, radiating certainty, “No.”

“And you think this vanishing truck ran them off the road?” Sam points out.

“When you say it aloud like that…,” she sighs, “listen, I’m a little skeptical about this…ghost stuff…or whatever it is you guys are into.”

Dean huffs, “Skeptical. If I remember, I think you said I was nuts.”

“That was then,” she bites back. Then they fall back into that thing where they just stare at each other, “I just know that I can’t explain what happened up there. So I called you,” she adds, directing her words only to him. I clear my throat, weary of the bubble they seem to have put around themselves, “You were right in calling” I reasoned softly, “It is very strange and on the off chance it isn’t anything supernatural then it was certainly a cover-up.”

Her perfect eyebrows furrow but before she can respond the sound of the front door opening catches all of our attention, a middle-aged white woman enters through and I assume it's her mother. She shared her mother's eye shape and her nose, but the rest of her she must have gotten from her father.

As if we had gotten caught we all rise from the sofa. Cassie goes over to her mother, taking her arm, “Mom. Where have you been I was so…” her mother cuts her off looking at us, “I had no idea you'd invited friends over.”

“Mom, this Dean, a…friend of mine from…college. ‘His brother Sam and friend Y/N.”

“Well, I won’t interrupt you” her mother smiles nervously.

“Mrs Robinson,” Dean says suddenly, “We’re sorry for your loss. We’d like to talk to you for a minute if you don’t mind.” And as if offended she recoils, “I’m really not up for that right now.”

The morning sun is dimmer today, perfect for the scene we were walking upon. The man Cassie was standing with yesterday, Jimmy, was the newest victim. He died in the same way as the others sometime late last night. Cassie was again arguing with the old white man from yesterday. As we approached I could hear his condescending voice, “Close the man road. The only road in and out of town? Accidents do happen Cassie, and that’s what they are. Accidents.”

We stand beside her, Dean speaking up immediately, “Did the cops check for additional denting on Jimmy’s car, see if it was pushed?”

Without missing a beat and without looking away from Cassie the man asks, “Who’s this?”

“Dean and Sam Winchester, Y/N L/N. Family friends. This is Mayor Harold Todd” She replies smoothly. This man went from just any old white guy to a powerful old white guy, even worse. And he had two first names, you never trust someone with two first names. Reluctantly Mayor Old Guy answers Dean’s initial question, “There’s one set of tire tracks. One. ‘Doesn’t point to foul play.”

Cassie scuffs, “Mayor, the police, and town officials take their cues from you. If you’re indifferent about…”

He cuts her off, “Indifferent!”

“Would you close the road if the victims were white?” she counters.

Oh. Could she get any more iconic?!

“You suggesting I’m racist Cassie?” He spits, “I’m the last person you should talk to like that.”

“And why is that?” She counters, stepping closer to him.

“Why don’t you ask your mother” he answers before walking away. My jaw drops, what the hell is going on in this town?

I huff, blowing a piece of hair out of my face. I really didn’t want to get dressed, for as much as I’ve been trying to ignore the whole Dean and Cassie situation I was feeling horrible.

I sit on the soft motel bed in nothing but my underwear and a nice white button-down, haven given up on dressing. I feel stupid. Incredibly stupid.

Maybe Sam’s words had gotten to me, maybe I had gotten my hopes up without even realizing it.

He loves someone else, and he’s had for a while. I always thought when you love someone those feelings don’t ever truly go away, there's always a part of you with them. They wind up crossing your mind and you wonder where things went wrong. But I guess I never considered this would also apply to Dean, which is cruel to believe within itself. Which is funny too, all these years I’ve spent loving him…But Sam was right he didn’t date so I guess I assumed he never fell for anyone during his countless one-night stands.

I know death is cruel but maybe love is tied with it. Because I feel like someone took my heart and ran with it, leaving me with this void in my chest and an ache so intense that it throbs in its place. It was stupid to think I had a chance to begin with. I knew not to believe I had one in the first place, but somewhere along the line I had completely forgotten about any of that. So much for listening to my past self, if I had maybe I wouldn't be feeling so damn bad.

But I couldn't be mad. Cassie was wonderful in every possible way and you don't need to know her for long to realize that. They seemed perfect for each other really. She was feisty and had no issue putting someone in their place, which I quite admired, and I know Dean could use that every now and then. If she was a jerk I’m sure I’d have no issue disliking her, but she wasn’t! She was impossible to dislike, and it would be horrible of me to hate her just because she harbors feelings for someone that I love or the fact that he loves her back. That wasn't her fault, it was neither of their faults.

Loving someone has to be the hardest thing one could do.

I get up from the bed and put on my skirt. I couldn't sit here forever, the boys would come knocking and I wouldn't have a good excuse as to why I’m in a mood. Quickly I check myself in the mirror, at least I didn’t cry which means I don't gotta redo my makeup, even if it was minimal to begin with.

How do you stop loving someone? I could use that answer.

I knew I loved him for a long time, too long. But I suppose I didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten, how much it had flourished and I had never expected that to be possible. I love him.

I love him and it hurts so much.

How many times did I have the opportunity to tell him? It had to be in the hundreds. Maybe it was better that I didn’t, he loves someone else and I should be happy for them. I am happy for him. He deserves to be loved and be able to love. Yes, I am happy.

I approach the two older men having lunch, focusing on the wet ground and the wholesomeness that is them eating on a pier. “Hi, sorry. Are you Ron Stubbins?” I ask, taking the lead. I needed to throw myself into the work, I needed the distraction. The older man nods looking at us confused, his black cap bobbing with his head. “You were friends with Jimmy Anderson?” Dean follows up.

“Who are you?” Ron responds with, sitting up straighter. He was sizing us up, skeptical of us, which he had every right to be. “We’re Mr. Anderson’s insurance company. We’re just here to dot ‘I’s’ and cross ‘T’s’,” Dean explains, flashing his badge.

“And they needed to send three of you?” He counters. I giggle, tilting my head slightly, “Would you prefer me leaving?” I ask sweetly. And as predictable as men can be he drags his eyes across my body before shaking his head, “No. No. That won’t be necessary.” I ignore the dirty feeling that washes over me and sticks to my bones like a new layer of skin, it was necessary to do that because now he won’t bother questioning us anymore on that topic.

“We were just wondering, had the deceased mentioned any unusual recent experiences?” Sam questions, getting back on topic. Reluctantly Ron looks away from me to look at the man who questioned him, “What do you mean, unusual?”

“Well visions, hallucinations” He elaborates.

“We’re working with local psychologists to broaden our questioning and research,” I explain, trying to clear the confusion from his face, “It’s all very standard.”

“What company did you say you were with?” Ron counters. Maybe he was more on guard than I thought. “All National Mutual” Dean answers smoothly, “Tell me, did he ever mention seeing a truck? A big black truck?”

“What the hell ‘you talking about?” Ron exclaims, “‘You even speaking English?”

Wow, what a lovely guy.

“Son this truck, a big scary monster-looking thing?” Ron's friend suddenly says.

“Yeah actually, I think so” Dean answers. The man hums to himself in thought, please let this interaction be useful. “You’ve heard of something like that?” I ask the man. “I have,” he nods, not bothering to elaborate.

“You have. Where?” Sam pushes.

“Not where,” he finally answers, “When. Back in the ‘60s, there was a string of deaths. Black men. Story goes, they disappeared in a big, nasty, black truck.”

“They ever catch the guy?” I ask. He shrugs, “Never found him. Hell, not even sure they really looked. See there was a time, ‘this town wasn’t too friendly to all its citizens.”

“Thank you” Sam nods.

We walk away, heading back to the Impala. “Well, it seems like history is repeating itself,” I began, “From the lack of investigation and racism down to the–”

“Truck,” Dean says, finishing my sentence. “Keeps coming up doesn’t it?” Sam adds.

“You know, I was thinking. You heard of the Flying Dutchman?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, a ghost ship, infused with the Captian’s evil spirit. It was basically part of him” Sam answers, explaining the lore. Dean nods, “So what if we’re dealing with the same thing? You know, a phantom truck, an extension of some bastard’s ghost, re-enacting past crimes.”

“The victims have been black men” Sam continues the theory. I half-shrug, “I don't know. The town has to have more than a handful of black people, but it only seems to be going after specific people. It’s practically targeting those connected to Cassie and her family. I’m sure there’s some deeper link there.”

“That’s why I think it’s more than that,” Dean says.

“All right. Well, you work that angle, go talk to her,” Sam tells his brother specifically, clearly playing matchmaker. “Yeah, I will,” Dean agrees.

“Oh, and you might also wanna mention that other thing” Sam noted, a playful smile on his lips. Always the meddler. “What other thing?” Dean asks, either genuinely lost or faking it. “The serious, unfinished business?” Sam elaborates. I huff a laugh, “Yeah, seriously Dean it's so painfully obvious. Just talk to the girl.” It pained me to even suggest that, to motivate him in such a way but I want him to be happy, and if that means being with her then so be it.

Dean stops just as we reach the car, going obstinately silent. Sam huffs a laugh this time, “Dean, what is going on between you two?”

“All right, so maybe we were a little more involved than I said,” he finally admits. I give him a pointed look, “Yeah…that was obvious.”

He huffs, “A lot more. Maybe. And I told her our secret, about what we do. And I shouldn’t have.”

“Ah look man, everybody’s gotta open up to someone sometime,” Sam reasons, being a little too understanding compared to how we were only yesterday. “Yeah I don’t,” Dean argues, “It was stupid to get that close. I mean, look how it ended.”

I smile at him softly, hoping any sadness is concealed far behind my eyes, and I realize Sam is giving him the same look except he’s nearly beaming. “Would you both stop!” he shouts. But we don't because this is a side of Dean we’ve never seen before, and it is beautiful even if it's heartbreaking for me. “Someone blink or something!” he exclaims, throwing his hands up.

“You loved her,” I say softly, the gape in my chest deepening at the verbal declaration. Saying it aloud was so much worse. “Oh God,” he groans, turning to the Impala. “You still do!” I call after him.

“You were in love with her, but you dumped her,” Sam states, connecting the pieces. Dean goes silent, staring at the ground, then carefully glances at his brother before reverting his eyes. “Oh wow. She dumped you.”

I have to stop myself from taking in a sharp breath, there was a lot to this he wasn’t telling us. But why would she break up with him if she still has feelings?

“Get in the car” Dean demands, done being “emotional” and open, “Get in the car!”

Sam hands me my hot chocolate, but not even the sweet treat or the soft snow falling just outside can lift my mood. It makes me feel a little better but it does not fix my heart. Dean didn’t come back last night and I know it’s because he spent the night at Cassie’s. I’m happy they worked things out and hopefully had a wonderful night but again it does not fix my heart.

I held the cup tighter, welcoming the immense warmth it brought to my frozen hands as we stepped out of the small coffee shop. The air was crisp yet gentle as the light fluffy snowflakes descended onto us, the cold flakes collecting in my hair. A small smile graced my face, maybe it was making me feel better. I like the cold, preferred it even, I was cozy in my thick turtle neck and my favorite fleeced-lined jacket.

Sam and I walk in comfortable silence side by side, sipping from our cups and basking in the scenery of the unexpected snow. It was early May in Missouri, it really shouldn’t be snowing but I suppose if it could snow here a little in April then early May couldn't be that weird. Plus it was a light snow that likely wouldn't even stick. But the calming scenery is cut in half by an ambulance that speeds past us, sirens blaring. We share a questioning look but ultimately ignore it until two cop cars rush past us heading the same way. That we can’t ignore. With another shared look, we follow after the sirens.

I look out at the macabre scene, the yellow caution tape not having stopped me from investigating thanks to the use of a fake ID. The body had been bagged after countless photos were taken, but the blood of Mayor Todd still stains the streets. It was a gruesome scene, arguably worse than the others in this case his organs squished out like roadkill and, truthfully, that’s what he had become.

“L/N” Sam calls out from just a few feet behind me. I turned around swiftly, the snow whirling around me, Dean stood next to his brother. He came.

I walk over to the two boys, watching Dean’s clear expression of shock masked by annoyance, “‘You gonna ask me a bunch of questions too?” he asks. I look at him confused, “...no” I drag out slowly. His face seems to relax slightly, something unrecognizable passing in his eyes, “Good,” he nods.

“I already know you made up–made out” I add, his face drops, “Anyways, crime scene,” I point behind me.

“Every bone crushed. Internal organs turned to pudding,” Sam explains the case, catching his brother up, “The cops are all stumped, it’s like something ran him over.” The wind picks up again, swirling the snow in its own private storm, the cold will help with the case as it preserves the body longer. “Something like a truck?” Dean asks, gaining his footing in the case.

“Yeah, except of course there’s no tracks” I answer. He nods, rubbing a hand down his jaw and I have to force my eyes away from the movement, “What was the Mayor doing here anyway?”

“He owned the property. Bought it a few weeks ago” Sam says referring to the building site.

“But he’s white, doesn’t fit the pattern,” Dean points out. Sam nods, “Killings didn’t happen up on the road. That doesn’t fit either.”

I shove my hands into my pocket, taking a quick look back at the crime scene before turning back to the boys, “Then it seems like this case is one of revenge.”

I shuffle through the papers in front of me, glad that I was sent to do research at the town's main library rather than be at the newspaper office with the boys and Cassie. She was probably looking at him all sweetly and being a kind person, and I did not wish to see the loving way they looked at each other. And if avoiding that meant having my nose in dusty boxes of court records then that was okay.

I pull out my phone calling Sam directly instead of Dean, the phone rings a couple of times before he picks up, “Hi” I greet, “I got some info.”

The line goes quiet for a second before I hear his voice, “Alright you're on speaker.”

“Ok, so,” I start, balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I look over the papers, “I have courthouse records here, and according to them Mr and Mrs Mayor bought an abandoned property. The previous owner was the Dorian family who owned it for, like, 150 years.”

“Dorian?” Dean repeats back. “Yes.”

His voice grows quieter but still in range enough for me to hear, “Didn’t you say the Dorian family used to own this paper?” he asks someone else in the room. “Along with everything else around here. Real pillars of the town,” Cassie answers. “Right, right” Dean responds followed by the clicking of keys.

“You got something there?” I ask, readjusting my phone.

“Think so” Sam mumbles, seemingly focused on whatever was happening over at the office.

“This Cyrus Dorian. He vanished in April of ‘63. The case was investigated but never solved. It was right around the time the string of murders was going on back then,” Dean informs, adding more information to what that man yesterday had told us.

“Well to add to that information, the Dorian place seemed to be in really bad shape when the Mayber bought it,” I add, “He bulldozed the place.”

“Mayor Todd knocked down the Dorian place?” Dean asks, presumably, Cassie. “It was a big deal” she answers, “One of the oldest houses left. He made the front page.” I huff a breath, everything connecting yet leaving so many questions at the same time. “You got a date, Y/N?” Dean calls back.

“Um,” I hum shuffling the papers around and reading over the words quickly, “‘3rd of last month.” The line goes quiet again the only sound ringing back being the sharp noise of fingers on a keyboard, “Mayor Todd bulldozed the Dorian family home on the 3rd,” Dean finally responds, “The first killing was the next day.”

Pouring the boiled water into the mug I take a quick look back, Dean kneels in front of the shaken-up Cassie rubbing her knee softly and looking at her with pure determination and adoration. I swallow roughly looking back at the mugs in front of me, nearly overspilling and burning myself.

This was not the time to grieve a love that never happened. Cassie called Dean afraid, having seen the black truck. We were here to help, I was making a soothing herbal tea for her and her mother to calm the nerves.

Finishing with the mugs I carefully carry them into the sitting room. Sam takes one from me, gently handing it to her mother. I hand the mug to Cassie, her shaky hands accepting and rattling the cup, Dean immediately moves to sit at her side but it does not stop his protectiveness if anything it amplifies it; he practically radiates it. “Maybe you should throw a couple of shots in here,” she says, half joking.

I huff a laugh, “Well while the effects of alcohol do have the capabilities of easing the central nervous system, when the effects wear off your body will be jolted back from its depressive state which would really only make you feel worse, more anxious as well as stressed.”

She gives me a half, almost awkward, smile before taking a sip from her mug. Did I say too much? Why didn’t someone stop me? Someone should’ve just cut me off, especially if I wasn’t helping.

“You didn’t see who was driving the truck,” Sam says suddenly, pulling the awkwardness out of the air. “It seemed to be no one. Everything was moving so fast. And then it was just gone,” she explains, “Why didn’t it kill us?”

“Whoever was controlling the truck wants you afraid first,” Dean answers. This would explain why at least one of the victims had seen it and truthfully thought they were going mad. “Mrs Robinson,” Sam began, “Cassie said that your husband saw the truck before he died.” Mrs Robinson doesn't answer, seemingly lost in her mind as she shakes. “Mom?” Cassie says carefully, worry laced in her voice.

The older Robinson shakes her head nervously, “Oh. Martin was under a lot of stress. You can’t be sure about what he was seeing.”

“Well after tonight I think we can be reasonably sure he was seeing a truck. What happened tonight, you and Cassie are marked. Ok?” Dean snaps, “Your daughter could die. So if you know something now would be a really good time to tell us about it.”

“Dean…” Cassie warns. But her mother's face contorts in emotion, something in her breaking, “Yes. Yes, he said he saw a truck.”

“Did he know who it belonged to?” Sam asks, taking a seat across from the woman. “He thought he did,” she answers cryptically. “Who was that?” Dean pushes. Her eyes get watery and she sinks into herself, “Cyrus. A man named Cyrus.”

My gaze flickers to the boys, we are all thinking the same thing, I look back at her, “By any chance was it Cyrus Dorian?” I ask carefully. Dean pulls out a newspaper from inside his coat, handing it to the woman. She doesn't shake her head or nod only replying with, “Cyrus Dorian died more than 40 years ago.”

“How do you know he died, Mrs Robinson?” Dean asks softly, “The papers said he went missing. How do you know he died?”

She hesitates, her mouth agape like a fish out of water or in reality that of a person who got caught, “We were all very young,” she says, “I dated Cyrus a while, I was also seeing Martin…in secret of course. Interracial couples didn’t go over too well back then. When I broke it off with Cyrus and when he found out about Martin, I don’t know, he, changed. His hatred. His hatred was frightening.”

“The murder,” Sam voices.

Her voice wobbles, “They were rumors. People of color disappearing into some kind of truck. Nothing ‘ever done,” she swallows shifting in her seat, “Martin and a…Martin and I, we were gonna be, uh, married in that little church near here, but last minute we decided to elope as we didn’t want the attention.” She pushes her short hair out of her face, stressed. “And what became of Cyrus?” I ask.

Endless tears fall down her cheeks, “The day we set for the wedding, was the day someone set fire to the church. There was a children’s choir practicing in there. They all died.” I suppress the gasp that wishes to leave my lips, the room seems to dim with the information. What was meant to be a beautiful day was soiled by the blood of innocents.

“Did the attacks stop after that?” Sam asks softly, careful of her fragile mindset.

A sob escapes from her chest, “No! There was one more. One night that truck came for Martin. Cyrus beat him terribly. But Martin, you see, Martin got loose. And he started hitting Cyrus and he just kept hitting him and hitting him.”

“Why didn’t you call the cops?” Dean pushes. She continues to cry, “This was forty years ago. He called on his friends, Clayton Soames and Jimmy Anderson, and they put Cyrus’ body into the truck and they rolled it into the swamp at the end of his land and all three of them kept that secret all of these years.”

“And now all three are gone,” Sam acknowledges. This all confirms the theory of a vengeful spirit. “And so is Mayor Todd,” Dean adds, “Now he said that you of all people would know he is not a racist. Why would he say that?”

“He was a good man,” Mrs Robinson answers, “He was a young deputy back then investigating Cyrus’ disappearance. Once he figured out what Martin and the others had done he…he did nothing, because he also knew what Cyrus had done.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cassie asks, her voice hard yet full of emotion. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head, to find out something like this–“I thought I was protecting them. And now there’s no one left to protect,” her mother reasons.

“Yes, there is” Dean counters, fiercely. His green eyes harden with determination as he looks at Cassie.

I sit on the cold hood of the Impala, gently kicking my legs back and forth watching Dean pace in front of me. Sam leans against the car next to me, his arms crossed as he too watches his brother, “Ah, my life was so simple. Just school, exams, papers on polycentric cultural norms…”

I look at him with an amused smile, “I have no idea what that last part is but it sounds fun!” That stops Dean in his tracks for just a half of a second, he points at us, “No it doesn’t. I saved him from a boring existence.”

“Yeah, occasionally I miss boring” Sam reasons. I nod enthusiastically, “Honestly, we have not had a normal day in like months. Kinda miss it.”

Dean brushes our light complaining off, “So this killer truck–”

“I miss conversations that didn’t start with ‘this killer truck’” Sam quips with a dramatic sigh. I failed to hold back my laughter, Dean laughs lightly and for a brief moment, things feel how they used to, “Well this Cyrus guy. Evil on a level that infected even his truck. When he died, the swamp became his tomb, and his spirit was dormant for 40 years.”

“So what woke it up?” Sam asks.

“The construction on his house. Or the destruction,” Dean points out.

“Right. Demolition or remodeling can awaken spirits, make them restless” Sam recalls. His brother hums a ‘yes’, nodding.

“Like that theater in Illinois, ya know?” Sam references, and I in fact had no idea what he was talking about. “And the guy that tore down the family homestead, Harold Todd, is the same guy that kept Cyrus’ murder quiet and unsolved,” Dean adds, bringing it back to the case at hand.

“So now his spirit is awakened and out for blood,” Sam acknowledges.

“Yeah, I guess. Who knows what ghosts are thinking anyway” Dean shrugs.

“Wait, does this mean we have to go swimming in that swamp?” I ask. I mean if we had to salt and burn the bones then we would need said bones which are in a swamp, how nice. Dean smiles at me, I know that look. “No” I warn, pointing at him like an animal that did something wrong. “You said it” he rationalizes.

“Noooo” I whine a pout on my lips, “Do I have to do it alone?”

His wicked smile deepens, “‘Course not, Sammy’s gonna be with you.”

Sam’s shoulders drop, “Man,” he sighs.

Suddenly a familiar figure approaches, her hands tucked into the back pocket of her jeans. Dean stands up straighter, “Hey.” She smiles sadly, “Hey. She’s asleep. Now what?”

“Well, you should stay put, look after her…and we’ll be back. Don’t leave the house,” Dean explains, looking at her in that way that hurts my heart. But she smiles, any worry melting off her face, “Don’t go getting all authoritative on me. I hate it.”

Dean glances back at us, Sam looks down grinning acting as if neither of us could hear the conversation. He turns back to Cassie mumbling something I can't quite make out but whatever it was must have been good because he slowly leans in to kiss her. I drop my head and gaze at the very interesting ground, trying my best to ignore the sound of their intensifying making out. A pang of jealousy, longing, and pain shoots through my chest. If the ground wanted to just open up and consume me now I wouldn’t complain, I’d even help it and just throw myself in it wouldn’t have to work very hard. Sam clears his throat, I look up but Dean just holds out a finger to wait as he brings Cassie even closer.

I drop my eyes again.

Loving someone never hurt so bad. Loving him never hurt so bad.

Was it wrong to love him? Was this always going to be my fate? To see him evermore with other girls, loving them more than he could ever love me.

“You two comin’ or what?” Dean asks. I look up once more and this time his lips aren’t on Cassie.

I tug on the chain again, making sure it's secure, my hands getting wet in the process. I wipe my icky hands off on my jeans as I back away, “Alright he’s good,” I call out to Sam who stands feet away from me, closer to the butt of the pickup Dean was driving. He gives a thumbs up to his brother who begins to move the car forward, the pickup moving slowly in the weight of the heavy truck and water pressure.

We had already gotten it up a lot, but it had gotten stuck on the side of the swamp so we had to readjust its hold to get it the rest of the way up.

The years in the water had diminished it. The old black truck was now more like a rust bucket, remains of the swamp water spilling out from the seams. “All right. A little more…little more,” Sam leads, “All right, stop.”

The engine shuts off and Dean heads to the Impala, he pulls it open rummaging through the various weapons. “Now I know what she sees in you” Sam declares with a snap of his finger, meaning he finally understood what that look in her eyes meant. “What?” Dean asks.

“Come on man, you can admit it. You’re still in love with her” Sam clarifies. I nod even though the implications hurt, “Plus it’s not like no one else knows. So the only person you’re hiding from is yourself.”

Dean looks up from the trunk, “Uhh, can we focus please.”

I purse my lips, “Yeah…focusing has never really been our strong suit…” A container of salt is pressed into my chest, “Hold that” Dean says swiftly.

His expression hardens, all jokes put to rest as he dishes out items, “Gas” he says first, handing the large container to his brother, “Flashlights,” he lists out next filling my empty hand with one.

“Ok, let’s get this done,” he quips, closing the trunk.

We trudge back over to the rusty truck, our flashlights leading our way across the grass. Dean places his hand on the handle and I must wonder how he isn’t grossed out by just the feeling of the flaked paint and rotting metal. He glances at us in a silent ‘you ready?’ We give a nod and he opens the door.

A decaying wet corpse falls out the door and onto the soft grass, a small gush of water following its lead. I leap back like a scared cat, clasping a hand to my mouth and nose the decomposition of the body as well as its marinating in swamp water left a putrid smell. One perhaps worse than anything I've ever smelt before which was saying something considering what I’ve hunted.

“All right let’s get to it,” Dean says. Sam pours the gasoline all over the body, careful not to get it close to us and I jump in with the salt, opening the little latchet to sprinkle the small white crystals over the open-mouthed corpse. The satisfying scratch and flick of a match sounds softly beside me in the quiet night followed by the drop of the matchstick on the body. In mere seconds the remains go up in flames, the warm glow of the fire reflecting on the truck just beside it. I hoped no one would come looking over here with the whirl of smoke twirling above us, the heat powerful enough for me to take another step back.

“Think that’ll do it?” Sam voices, staring down at the burning corpse. But his question is followed by the revving of an engine and two blinding lights pointed at us. Without looking in the direction I knew it was the ghost truck. “I guess not,” Dean quips.

“So burning the body had no effect on that thing?” the younger Winchester asks. “Sure it did. Now it’s really pissed,” Dean responds. I glare at him, “I don't know if this is the time for cool jokes.”

“But Cyrus’ ghost is gone, right Dean?” Sam asks, a hint of panic in his voice as the tuck stares us down. But his brother doesn't answer right away, instead, he starts to walk away, “Apparently not the part that’s fused with the truck.”

I go on my tip toes trying to peak into the truck, maybe we missed something like a severed piece of him that didn’t spill out but before I can vocalize this Sam is calling out to his brother, “Where are you going?” I turn around, catching up to the boys, “Goin’ for a little ride,” Dean answers as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “What?!” Sam and I exclaim in unison, “That’s a horrible idea!” I add. But he ignores our concern, “Gonna lead that thing away. That busted piece of crap, you gotta burn it.”

“How the hell are we supposed to burn a truck, Dean?” Sam asks, voice raising in volume. But being the determined man he is he shrugs, “I don’t know. Figure something out.” He rounds the car, opening the driver's door, “At least let one of us come with you, this is horribly dangerous,” I try to reason.

His eyes move up and down my face, before he settles on my eyes once more, “‘Exactly why you’re not comin’ with.” Before I can come up with a retort on how stubborn he is he settles himself into the car, closing the door behind him. I look to Sam for any support on this but he just stares at the car muttering, “Figure some–something–”

I rack my brain for ideas because Dean wasn’t going to listen and would rather be all hot and stubborn than be reasonable, “An explosion?” I suggest. Sam shakes his head, “No, that wouldn’t work. Parts would go everywhere and everything has to burn.”

I huff, frustrated, “I hate when you’re right.”

Dean reverses the Impala and takes off, the engine revering. As predictable as possible the ghost truck roars after him. I try to rack my brain for more ideas, even if we could suddenly light a truck on fire it would take too long for it to burn completely, “Sam, please tell me you got some idea rolling around in there.” He doesn't answer, lost in concentration with his bottom lip between his teeth.

My phone suddenly rings in my pocket, I pull it out swiftly seeing Dean’s name glowing. I flip it open bringing it to my ear, “You okay?” I say immediately. “Uh…yeah,” He says but I remain not convinced, “what are we doing?”

I look at Sam, panicking slightly, “Um, Sam what are we doing?”

He pulls out his phone, “You gotta give me a minute.” He presses his phone to his ear, “He says to give him a minute, I think he’s callin’ someone.”

“I don’t have a minute!” He half yells. “Dude, I don't know!” I panic, “Just…just don’t die, okay?”

“Trying here sweetheart.” I look back at Sam who has stepped away, I give him a hand motion of ‘please hurry up.’ He nods, coming closer to feed me info, “Ask him where he is.” I pull my phone away from my ear putting him on speaker instead, “Okay, Dean where the hell are you?”

“In the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!” he exclaims, “It’s like it knows I put the torch to Cyrus.”

“Listen to me, this is important” Sam orders, calmly, “I have to know exactly where you are.” Seemingly taking his advice he goes quiet for a beat, “Decatur Road, about two miles off the highway.”

“Ok. Headed East?” Sam follows up.

“Yes!”

A rattle and a bang followed by skitting noise sounds from the phone followed by cursing, “You son of a bitch!”

“Sam!” I yell, begging him to hurry up. “Ok, uhhh, turn right! Up ahead, turn right.” Again the line falls silent, “You make the turn?” Sam questions softly. My heart beats faster with each silent moment that passes. “Yeah, I made the turn!” Dean yells, “You need to move this thing along a little faster.”

“All right, you see a road up ahead?” Sam asks.

“No!... Wait. No, yes, I see it.”

“Ok turn left.”

“Wha..?” Dean half says before he goes quiet again the only sound coming from the line being more screeching and shuffled movement. “All right, now what? He finally responds.

“You need to go seven-tenths of a mile and then stop,” Sam explains. I looked at him strangely, noticing he wasn’t on the phone anymore, but what the hell was he talking about? “Stop?” Dean voices.

“Exactly seven-tenths Dean” Sam repeats.

“God, I hope you know what you’re talking about,” I tell the man beside me. “Me too” he mumbles over the sound of his brother repeating the words ‘seven-tenths.’ I look at him my mouth agape, “You wha–”

“Dean, you still there?” He cuts me off, focusing on his brother again. “Yeah,” Dean responds.

“What’s happening over there?” I ask, not knowing was killing me. “It’s just staring at me,” he answers carefully, “what do I do?”

“Just what you’re doing, bringing it to you,” Sam replies.

“Wha–” Dean began before cutting himself off, the line going quiet for the umpteenth time, “Come on. Come on,” he mumbled quietly but just loud enough for the phone to pick it up. My heart thumps in my chest, anticipation and fear running through my veins as well as something else from those two stupid words–something had to be wrong with me to find that hot now of all times.

The line is silent, for one beat, then another, then another…I grip my phone tighter, “Dean? Dean, are you there? ‘You okay?”

“Where’d it go?” he responds with a mix of shock and confusion. “Dean, you’re where the church was,” Sam explains. “What church!” he freaks.

“The place Cyrus burned down. Murdered all those kids,” Sam clarifies.

“There’s not a whole lot left,” Dean responds.

“Church ground is hallowed ground, whether the church is still there or not. Evil spirits cross over hallowed ground, and sometimes they’re destroyed, so I figured, maybe, that would get rid of it,” Sam explains. I hit his arm, “That was a hunch?!”

Dean adds in with the lecturing, “Maybe? Maybe!! What if you were wrong?!”

“Huh,” Sam hums, “Honestly, that thought hadn’t occurred to me.”

I glare at him sharply, hitting his arm again as I say, “You’re too sassy for your own good.” He laughs, a boyish grin on his face.

I wait in the back, Sam in the driver seat for Dean to say his goodbyes. I liked the back seat, more now than ever because being in the front would mean being able to see out the side mirror and watch Dean kiss the woman he loves and say a goodbye I was sure he didn’t want.

Life was being really unfair and uncool.

I bury my nose in my new book, it would be better to just escape into this world than have to deal with my feelings here in the real world. My feelings in the real world were not fun, they were depressing and hurt…a lot. But no amount of ink on paper formed into beautifully crafted words could fill the gaping hole in my heart, still, I tried as there was nothing else to do.

What is worse is knowing there will never be a chance for me to be loved by him, at least not in the way I do, because there will always be a place in his heart for her. He’ll think of her all the time, dream about her, and perhaps see her in the breeze. His heart belongs to her, and possibly always has.

I needed to accept that. The sooner I did the quicker the pain would go away. I couldn't go on believing I had a chance I needed to huff the flame out now.

No more hope. No more love. We’re friends, always have been, and always will be. That will have to be enough. I couldn’t love him anymore, not if it meant feeling this much pain. I wouldn’t accept his touches anymore for they gave me more hope than I’d like to admit.

No. I was wrong.

Worse of all is knowing that I can’t just stop loving him. Let it be the Gods' fault or the stars or whatever it is I’m meant to believe in but my heart has long been his and always will be. I could never love someone the way I love him, I wasn’t capable of that. Let it be that our love was written in the star's constellations that it was undecided by me or him for my love had to transcend the binds of that nonsense.

I loved him and he did not love me and maybe it was that which I had to accept because to stop loving him would mean to stop my heart from beating. Though even then I suspect not even the afterlife could keep me from my eternal love. And maybe that was pathetic or stupid, especially since he did not care for me in such a way, but it was the truth and no one has ever claimed truth to be a beautiful thing.

I’m brought back to reality with a bump. When did we leave and start driving? I look out the window, we had already made it to the highway…I look at the boys, but both seem fine. Ok then.

“I like her,” Sam says, and suddenly I wish to be lost back in the state I was in moments ago. I would love not to hear or be a part of this conversation. “Yeah,” Dean replies, seemingly just to get his brother to stop.

“You meet someone like her, doesn’t it make you wonder if it’s worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do?” Sam asks innocently perhaps trying to get him to understand what he had felt with his girlfriend. But something flickers in his face and suddenly he’s making eye contact with me in the rearview mirror, his eyes written in apology as if it just hit him now what all of this was doing to me. It was that puppy dog look.

I smile sadly at him, giving him a curt nod in a silent ‘it’s okay.’ His gaze flickers back to the road.

Dean leans forward pulling sunglasses from the glove box, he puts them on carefully ignoring his brothers' initial question, “Why don’t you wake me up when it’s my turn to drive?” He slouches down in his seat with a sigh. I shake my head, roll my eyes, and go back to my book.

We were leaving Missouri and all would be well, or as well as they could be.

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