#I am taller than 75% of them

[tolkpopfan]

Actually, wait, considering the reblog I just did… you know what’s wack to me???

That none of Stray Kids seem to have gotten taller since debut. A bunch of them were teens at the time so it feels kinda odd to me that the heights on updated profiles don’t seem to be any different than when they first debuted.

I mean, in America at least, it’s really common for some males to not stop growing until abt 23-25. So at this point, it’s getting pretty unlikely that any of them have much time left for a potential growth spurt.

This post doesn’t have a particular point, I just find it fascinating.

[sleepanonymous]

Did you have fun at lorna shora? 💝

I'm gonna use your ask to post my concert recap, Anon. Hope you don't mind 🖤 But yes I had an absolute blast. 100/10, I would do it all again, even the waiting around in the heat part.

Long-winded recap below the cut for anyone who cares 🖤 you do get rewarded with a low-effort meme though.

TLDR is I had an amazing night, and I'm probably getting another tattoo because of it.

Some pre-concert notes: at the suggestion of a friend, I used Waymo to get to and from my hotel in Phoenix. That was an experience. It’s nice not having a driver so I can bask in my antisocial tendencies but those cars are confident af. I guess they can technically see better/more than a human, and they're 100% focused on the road, so they also drive better than 75% of all the Uber/Lyft drivers I’ve had. 

Day of the concert, I got to the venue at 11:30 am and nobody was there except a vagrant, a plumber, and a concerned lady with the plumber. Later confirmed with the people in line that I was the first to show up and that’s kinda crazy to me? The difference in line culture between Sleep Token and Lorna Shore is insane. At noon I was told by security we couldn’t line up on the property until 4 pm (doors at 5 pm). I’m not a local, so I took that as go tf away, so I went to Mcdonalds a block away and watched Saint Maud on my phone in the middle of a lunch rush. This is how everyone needs to experience this movie btw. Definitely adds to the unsettling factor of the film.

Around 2 pm I walked back to the venue, thinking I could loiter at the pizza place next door. Instead I found a line near the back of the venue and I was number 12 (I recounted when we lined up outside the venue at 4pm and realized I was wrong when I said I was 15th). It was a high of 106F/41C and we were south facing, but my spot was thankfully under a few mesquite tree canopies. When we moved up at 4 pm I was under some misters on a patio which was a small haven since I lost my shade. I didn’t get sunburned, and barely got a tan.

I met some Sleep Token fans while in line and dying of heat stroke. We talked a bit about what it was like being on the barricade at their rituals. A couple of them had tried for tickets to the Phoenix ritual but weren’t able to get their hands on any. I was too afraid to tell them about Vessel looking at me during TNDNBTG (even though I have the video evidence from that one uploader, I’m still gaslighting myself about it lmao).

At 5 pm when doors opened, the venue separated the line into bags/no bags, so I essentially was the 3rd person inside (1st in the bag line). Snagged a spot on the barricade at center stage, slightly to stage left. Guy to my right drove over from Texas (he showed me a picture on his phone that he took of Will outside the venue like 2 hours before, literally just standing and chatting with a dude in a Spiderman outfit while the rest of us were melting in line. literal strangest thing I've ever seen in my life). The girl to my left ran some minor Instagram page, I had meant to ask for her handle but never got a chance. The dude behind me looked like a taller Jesse Pinkman sans beanie hat/baggy hoodie and he was really polite and also did his best to talk like Jesse after the comparison was made. There was also a dude and his girlfriend (he and Jesse Pinkman were pretty amazing at keeping me from getting squished 100% of the time from the pit) and the Sleep Token girlies who bought like seven shirts and somehow made it to the barricade. We all became temp besties. We also made friends with the security and helped hand out water cups during intermissions, had mosh pit practice and dance-offs, and got a crash course in the Sanguisugabogg murderball game.

Sanguisugabogg is 100% an amazing live band. I couldn’t get into them before hand, but after seeing them live I am now a casual fan. I wouldn’t mind seeing them live again. I survived the murderball game with little effort thanks to the barricade/people around me. But I did get accidentally acquainted with multiple security guy’s crotches (ducking for them to pick up crowd surfers). This actually became a theme for a bit until I figured out a wat to contort myself between the security when they jumped on the barricade. I guess two dudes got into a fight over the ball, and the band told them to take it to the sidewalk? Valid.

Kublai Khan were super fun on stage. Vocalist wore an Arizona belt buckle and he showed it off and the crowd were extra happy about it lol. Caught some neat footage at the end of Kublai’s set. I only rewatched about one minute of it to check how the audio/video settings were for later on in the night. I do know I caught footage of him looking like a disappointed dad though so that's amazing.

White Chapel was fucking LOUD yo. Sound Guys cranked the volume to 11 for them and Lorna. But I can now confirm that baby Ves’s piano improv from a couple weeks ago did have heavier breakdowns. This band was one of my last ex’s favorite bands (apparently he lives in Phx now, so there’s a good chance he was in the pit) and he was almost spot on in mimicking Phil’s vocals, so I haven’t really listened to them for 9+ years. Surprisingly I was familiar with about half their set, so I had a great time with that, despite the ex thing.

I am proud to say that I am the lucky survivor of four crowd surfers over my head at once. Security were amazing at handling that influx in such a small space/time span. It’s my fault for getting kicked in the face because I didn’t duck in time for one, (I was filming lol) but I didn’t get a bruise/swollen lip. Morning after edit: I actually have a lot of bruises but they’re on my arms from the barricade and not getting kicked in the face. I filmed White Chapel’s new song plus a couple others, I have no idea how well they turned out yet. Also there are three guitarists?! Things I did not know about the band.

Phil spoke the least out of all four frontmen. He introduced the new song, I think he asked us to open a circle pit once, thanked us at the end, and that was about it.

Lorna Shore came on really fucking quickly after White Chapel. Like 20ish minutes, I think? It was 9:20 pm on the dot. Those roadies were busting their asses. Idk what was up but it got really hot inside when Lorna took the stage, even with being on the barricade. I recorded five Lorna songs: Welcome Back, The Pain Remains Trilogy, and To the Hellfire.

At one point Will said something about being too dry from the desert heat (he was the only person to mention the heat) and I thankfully stopped myself from blurting out “bitch where?!” because I was currently drenched in sweat. I know he was talking about the 106F high plus the 9% humidity, but still.

Okay can we talk about Adam De Micco now? I need to talk about Adam De Micco. More specifically Adam eye contact. There was so much Adam eye contact. Like, bro was making eye contact with everyone on the barricade, so it wasn’t a special occurrence… but oh my god when I tell you there was eye contact there was eye contact.

Quick fact about me: I have this thing about smiling at strangers when I catch them looking at me (because I have chronic rbf, sometimes accidentally zone out and end up looking in the general direction of people, and asking “why are you looking at me?!” while possibly looking pissed off is generally too hostile for everyday occurrences).

So. Eye contact. The first time I realized he was looking at me and not around me, I internally panicked and automatically smiled at him. Thing is, it wasn’t one off. This man was staring into the souls of every person on the barricade. But because of my panic smile we’d just hold eye contact until he had to look down at his frets or I panicked and looked at Will or Austin. At one point, he and Andrew switched stage positions and Adam would still *hold eye contact me* from the other side of the stage. It got to the point where I was convinced maybe I had a busted lip from the crowd surfer incident or my makeup was fucked from the heat. Everything was fine when I got back to my hotel? Eyeshadow, eyeliner, and eyebrows hadn’t budged at all and my lips were a little faded but not bad. My hair wasn’t even as crazy as I thought. So does Adam just do that? I didn’t catch a glance from any of the rest of the band, or any of the guys in White Chapel, I think I remember the Kublai Vocalist or guitarist looking somewhere in my direction, and the Sanguisugabogg Vocalist was literally chatting with everyone between songs. But Adam took it upon himself to make me and everyone else on the barricade feel perceived, like it was his life mission or something.

I feel like… because Vessel looked at me once during TNDNBTG back in May and I got a tattoo because of it, that I now owe Adam a tattoo too? I am 100% overthinking this. But I’m also not even joking, I’ve been thinking about getting his sigil tattooed somewhere since I left the venue. I also followed him on Insta before I was out the doors. Anyway, emotional support from Will Ramos has ended. My new emotional support person is Adam De Micco. Yes, because of excessive eye contact.

Evening after addendum: Mother Token face reveal on Lorna’s Instagram. I’m tiny and I’m the only person paying attention to Moke, but at least I’m not sobbing like I was for Adam Rossi’s Euclid sneak-shot. Also yeah, the more I think about it, the more I'm probably gonna get that sigil tattooed (ref 👇). Might have to wait until after Xmas though, with the way money is flowing right now.

[leggerefiore]

Le project is finished!

I explained it to you in chat, but for everyone else here, let me explain. To find everyone else's estimated height when we only have a canon height for Volo, (6ft3 or 75 inches) I needed to know how many pixels tall he was. Hair has volume and isn't completely flat (esp anime hair) nor do hats fit completely snug on the dome of the skull. So I allocated space for that on each model. To find where the top of the head actually was, I reverse constructed the heads like I was drawing something, veeerrrrry fancy way of saying I drew two circles.

Once as I did Volo's, I zoomed in super close in Clip Studio with a guide, noting where the floor hit on the ruler, as well as where the top of the upper circle representing his skull hit. I then subtracted the floor number from the skull number to get his height in pixels. Then I had to do a lil math because I needed to know how many pixel would proportionally read as 1 inch. To do so, I divided Volo's height in pixels by 75, and it gave me a number just above 6.1; this is the ratio I used to figure everyone else out.

We decided to try to get Cyrus's height as well, and I bumped into my first issue, I couldn't just shrink Cy down and use the same ratio because the camera angle was different. Also, I couldn't just stitch the images together because without knowing down to the pixel, where Cyrus's head hit on Volo, the previous ratio would give an inaccurate result. I found this out the hard way and got this funny shit:

Alas, I requested another image, this time with Volo standing beside Cyrus, for the sake of me being able to create a new ratio. We went ahead and added a few more characters for fun. That's when I realized I had made a massive mistake in the first set of calculations: the modeler already shows me where the floor is and everyone was already lined up on that axis. A redo of the first set of calculations was in order.

I got it fixed and here's the images:

I did go ahead and round everyone to the nearest whole inch. The results are: Volo 6'3, Cyrus 6'0, Ingo 5'10 (slightly rounded down), Cynthia 5'10 with heels (slightly rounded up), Grimsley 5'8, Nanu 5'7, Rika and Saturn at 5'5, Mars 5'2 with heels (thanks to the camera angle I was able to calculate the height of her heels - just over 2 inches, meaning she's roughly 5ft even without them).

Enjoy!

Alpha Cyrus standing lordly over Volo, who has yet to meet someone taller than him and is bewildered. Also, alpha encounter music playing the in background and giving him flashbacks.

My joke about Cyrus standing just under 6' feet is defrated, but I am happy I got the number so close at a random guess. Ingo's height is nerfed... My train man never stood above the line 😭... Emmet, of course, is the same height. Assuming Cynthia's heels are around the same height as Mars, she's at 5'8" (Grim territory), but I think they're actually a little shorter than Mars's own, so probably 5'9".

Grimsley isn't the shortest king, but his height does suit him. I'm going to blame Nanu's height on his bad posture. The true short king is Saturn... He deserves a crown. Rika's height wasn't so unexpected after seeing her around the taller characters. I'm a little sad she's a bit shorter than I thought, but she's still taller than me lol. Tiny Mars being an entire foot shorter than Cyrus. She's looking up to him in more than one way.

Thanks for doing all this madness to satiate my curiosity!

[bubblespalace]

may I have a matchup? I think it could be fun!

I am 5’10 in height with brown blondeish hair to my shoulders that has a bit of fluff, have hazel eyes, and on the slim side but a bit chunky in some areas (such as thighs) regarding body. My zodiac sign is a cusp between Libra and Scorpio, but often people associate me with Libra- I am fine with either! My MBTI type is INFP as of last I took it and my enneagram is very high in 2 The Helper and 9 The Peacemaker. I am bisexual, 23, and I use she/her pronouns! The best way I can describe my personality is that I’m somewhat quiet but once you get to know me I’m very energetic, kind, and always make people laugh (even if unintentionally.) I am a very hard worker and never falter in my beliefs, always open minded for other possibilities. I love exploring what is around me and have a sense of adventure. I am very loyal, compassionate, and determined. Although I can be stubborn and too into my emotions at times. My likes include literature, browsing the web for new things, anime/manga, true crime, and just learning new things such as politics, space, whatever!! I also like memes and my humor is broken as hell lol. My passion is writing. I love writing stories and one day want to publish my own. I dislike people who are incredibly rude or tone deaf to the people around them, people who are avoidant, and full of themselves. Hope that is enough information!!

After careful thinking- I have matched you with AYATO SAKAMAKI! (79% Match)

You both have such a love and passion for adventure, which will come into play in your relationship. You drew him to your kindness, and ability to make people laugh. He likes your quiet side too though because it allows him to tease you a bit! You'd share a sense of humor and will find yourselves laughing a lot with him! Although he might be a little put off by the fact that you are taller than him, eventually, he'll start to find it hot since he's eye level with your chest- Speaking of which, this man will absolutely love your thighs. Ayato will be one to claim you're the best writer in a room because he deserves the best. Expect him to always encourage any of your talents! It is not a complete match- only because Ayato can sometimes be annoying, probably to the point where you wouldn't like his insensitivity. You also probably wouldn't care for his 'I AM THE BEST' side of him a lot. But overall, you guys share a lot of interests! OTHER POSSIBILITIES: Laito Sakamaki (75% match) Subaru Sakamaki (58% match) Ruki Mukami (53% match) Thank you for the request!!

[nyaagolor]

Finding SV character heights Part 3: Teachers

Just like last time, all the screenshots I used and the process are under the cut! Reminder these are approximations bc of camera distances, human error, etc, so take them with a grain of salt

Miriam: 5'9" with heels, 5'4" without Jacq: 5'7" Dendra: 5'8" Raifort: 6'0" Saguaro: 6'2" Salvatore: 6'3" Tyme: 5'4"

First is Miriam!

Protagonist: 308 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Miriam: 357 pixels - 69 (nice) inches - 5'9"

Note that this is in heels. Without the heels she's only 330 pixels which translates to 5'4". No wonder her trainer card shows her tripping, those are some tall pumps!

Jacq is next! Protagonist: 289 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Jacq: 324 pixels - 67 inches - 5'7"

That's starting to look like the default height of dudes in this game! At this point, the playthroughs got less helpful so I just switched to screenshotting things on my own switch.

Protagonist: 315 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Dendra: 356 pixels - 68 inches - 5'8"

Protagonist: 304 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Raifort: 363 pixels - 72 inches - 6'0"

Raifort, even without the ponytail, is pretty damn tall!! I for one am thrilled by this development

Protagonist: 245 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Saguaro: 303 pixels - 74 inches - 6'2"

This is about what I expected

Protagonist: 248 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Salvatore: 309 pixels - 75 inches - 6'3"

Ngl this one genuinely surprised me. I didn't expect him to be that tall-- especially not taller than Saguaro!

Protagonist: 164 pixels - 60 inches - 5'0" Tyme: 175.5 pixels - 64 inches - 5'4"

Capping it off with the professor who would probably enjoy this little exercise in measurements the most! She's shorter than I thought in comparison to the other teachers, but they're quite tall

[talesfromthecoffeeshop]

The Demon Queen is Flustered (The Captain of my Royal Guard is a Woman?)

The crimson dress was beautiful. Lovely velvet cascaded down, accentuated by black leather, enhancing curves in all the right places. It was the dress of a Queen. And it did not fit in the slightest.

At least, it did not fit in the eyes of Charlotte. She was currently engaged in a staring contest with her own reflection, turning to see every angle in the mirror. Her brow furrowed deeper. Perhaps it was her hair? The difficult mess of brown curls had been tamed, though not without the casualty of a broken brush, and sat in a tight bun near her neck. Two horns broke through at her hairline, making her seem a bit taller than she was. Ivory and smooth, they matched her pale skin. She had inherited them from her mother’s side. 

Her continued turning and look of displeasure caught the attention of the head maid.

“My lady, is everything alright?” The Head Maid asked, keeping her tone calm and even, as one of her station does in all situations. Charlotte had not yet memorized the names of the staff. 

“Yes. You have all done a wonderful job.” Charlotte replied. “It just doesn’t feel… real yet.”

The maid did not reply, and Charlotte thought about the whirlwind of events that had led her here.

+++++

Charlotte was the granddaughter of Queen Rubilene Marxus Belphagor, who had ruled the Demon Realm for 75 years. Even being of royal blood, however, she was far from the throne and royal politics. Queen Rubilene had four children, two daughters and two sons, and she was the daughter of the youngest, Prince Jarox Belphagor. 

Early in his life, Prince Jarox had realized that he was not well suited for the politics of the Queen’s Court, and took a position out in the countryside, overseeing the country's grape production for their most exported product, Demon Wine. A simple life, relatively speaking. He then met his wife and started a family. A son, Kallin, and a daughter, Charlotte.

The title and responsibility of Queen was passed down the matriarchal line, and with two older sisters, Prince Jarox was unconcerned about the rite of succession. But politics can be funny, and more realistically, cruel.

The oldest daughter, Beldani, married young in a political alliance. She had a daughter as well, a smart and intelligent girl, raised studiously and nobly to be ready to lead her nation. But an accident befell her, and her life was cut short. Beldani never recovered from her grief, and eventually passed herself.

The second daughter, Nephira, was a more conniving sort. She had a more callous heart than her older sister, and had aspirations for the throne. She arranged a powerful marriage for herself, and had two daughters and a son. Nephira raised her daughters to be like herself, cold and calculating, with a lust for power. This, unsurprisingly, did not go well. Her second daughter murdered the first, and attempted to frame her mother. Horrified by this, Nephira exiled herself to a small corner of the country, and her living daughter has disappeared without a trace.

The older son, Marxus, (Named after Rubilene’s father), had enlisted in the nation’s army, and was a well-respected and powerful individual. He had married his lover, a man who he had regularly consulted at the capital’s university. They lived happily together, and had no plans for children.

So, after airing every last bit of dirty laundry the royal family had, where did that leave Charlotte? Apparently, next in line for the throne. But that was still something far off in the future, wasn’t it?

Charlotte had kept regular correspondence with her grandmother, even out in the countryside. She visited the capital often, and Queen Rubilene always made time for her. So, it was quite the surprise when she was hand delivered a letter by one of the Queen’s Guard. Inside was a familiar flowing and practiced script.

My dear Charlotte,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing now to request that you come to the capital immediately. Your father and I have been talking over a serious matter, and it involves you. I wish to speak with you in person.

With Regards,

Rubilene Marxus Belphagor, Queen of the Realm

The letter had left little room to argue, so Charlotte had packed some of her belongings and headed to the capital. At the time, she had thought it a bit odd that she had been escorted by no less than five members of the Queen’s Guard, but paid it no heed. If she had, she might have been a bit more prepared for the news.

“You’re ABDICATING?!” Charlotte gasped. Charlotte paced in the Queen’s chambers, unable to remain still.

The Queen sat, a statuesque picture of calm, waiting for Charlotte to regain her senses. 

Queen Rubilene had ruled for nearly 75 years now, but her face did not betray the age or stress of her station. Long straight brown hair was tied into a bun, with two obsidian horns bursting through to frame a face dominated by eyes of blood red. One eyebrow was currently raised in amusement.

“Yes, my dear.” The Queen said. “I am abdicating the throne. And that means you are next in line. You have had your twentieth birthday earlier this year, which means you are old enough to take the position. Now will you sit, and drink your tea? You are going to wear out the carpet.”

Charlotte whirled to stare at her grandmother in disbelief. How could she just sit and drink tea? With a sigh of exasperation, she sat down and reluctantly raised the cup to her lips.

It was warm and delicious, a lovely brew that was quite popular in the south, and a personal favorite of her grandmother. The floral scents calmed her mind, and allowed her to think.

“I’m going to be Queen?” Charlotte whispered.

“Yes. However, while I am abdicating, I am not dying, Charlotte. I will still be around, and know that I will always be there for you.” The queen said, a smile on her lips.

And that was that. Charlotte was to be the new Queen.

+++++

The week that had followed had been busy, to say the least. Charlotte’s education had been plentiful and widespread, and she knew the basics of royal etiquette, but becoming the Queen was no small task.

She sat in on many of the Queen’s meetings, listening to finance forecasts, and to the results of the harvest. She listened to disputes that required the Queen’s attention, usually between Lord’s and Lady’s over taxes. And she listened to the requests of the people alongside the Queen as often as she could. 

And every night, Charlotte would collapse into her sheets, exhausted, welcoming the night’s rest. 

The news of the abdication, and following coronation spread quickly. A festival sprung up in the days leading to the event. The city was bright with energy, as people from across the land arrived to celebrate. 

This only served to make Charlotte more nervous, and as the day crept close, her fear and anxiety only grew. A growing weight of dread. 

She couldn’t sleep the night before the coronation. Even exhausted beyond anything she had been before, she could only stare at the moonlight leaking through her curtains, waiting for the sun to rise. 

Which brings us back to the crimson dress. It had been tailored to her, so fit perfectly, regardless of what her mind was saying. Her hair was perfect, her makeup, perfect. Oh! The head maid’s name was Prefa! That’s right. 

A knock sounded at the door to her chambers, and Prefa opened it, allowing the Royal Secretary to enter. Tall and slender, the Royal Secretary was dressed in ceremonial robes, ready to officiate the coronation. Her name was Magoria (though she insisted Charlotte call her Maggie), and she had been educating Charlotte on any matters the Queen did not have time for. She smiled at Charlotte, and pushed her glasses up, looking her over. 

“Oh, you look so beautiful Charlotte! That crimson is such a lovely color on you. I knew we made the right choice with the reds. Are you ready?” She asked, positively beaming.

Charlotte did one more spin, looking over her dress, before giving a resigned sigh. “Yes Maggie, I believe I am ready.” With slow, careful steps, she stepped out the door to her chambers.

And nearly smashed her face into a pillar of gleaming steel. Charlotte stumbled back a step, and realized that it was not some pillar, but a person in full armor. And they were huge! Charlotte’s head was barely at their chest. The armored figure gave a slight bow, and stepped aside, allowing Charlotte to pass. Magoria took this chance to speak up.

“This is the newly appointed Queen’s Bodyguard, who will be accompanying you from this point forward.” 

Charlotte recalled that a man in similar armor had followed her grandmother around, and when she had asked about him, Magoria had answered. “The Queen’s Bodyguard is specially chosen from the Queen’s Guard. The best of the best, he guards the Queen personally, and will sacrifice himself in a moment to save her life. A bit romantic, isn’t it?” 

The Queen had rolled her eyes at the last comment, but said nothing.

Charlotte gave the knight a polite nod, and turned down the hallway. She had only taken a few steps when a wave of dizziness overcame her, causing her to stumble and lose her balance. 

In a flash, a gauntleted hand caught her by the waist.

“Are you well, my lady?” A muffled voice from above her asked. 

The moment of dizziness gone, Charlotte opened her eyes to see her helmeted bodyguard. Her cheeks flushed, and she quickly stood. “Thank you. I am fine. Merely nerves.” She turned her back, and continued.

The antechamber was quiet, save for the muffled noise of the crowd in the courtyard outside. Charlotte’s mother and father beamed at her as she entered, and her uncle gave her an encouraging nod. She returned a shaky smile, then turned to her grandmother. Dressed in a crimson that matched her own, except gold accents instead of black, she looked every bit the Queen that she was. Regal and powerful, with a presence that demanded respect and admiration. Everything Charlotte wasn’t.

“Oh hells.” She thought. “I am actually going to be Queen.”

Magoria entered behind her, and made her way to the Queen’s side. She clasped the Queen’s hand in her own, and gave a wide smile to the gathered family, then stepped through the thick curtain that led to the courtyard balcony. A moment later, trumpets began to play, quieting the crowd.

In a magically amplified voice, Magoria addressed the crowd.

“Welcome everyone to this momentous day! We are here to celebrate the rule of Queen Rubilene Marxus Belphagor. Her reign has brought incredible prosperity and happiness to our lands. I give you, our Queen!”

The crowd exploded into cheers and applause, as Queen Rubilene stepped out. She began a speech to the crowd.

Which Charlotte could not hear over the sound of her own heart thundering in her ears. She could feel sweat breaking out on her forehead. Her breath quickened, and had the ground been so far away before? She could see darkness at the edge of her vision. She was going to pass out!

A heavy hand clasped her shoulder, pulling her back. The gauntlet gave her a small squeeze, and her new bodyguard leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“Easy now, princess. You’ll be just fine.” The masked voice was low and calm. And it helped. Charlotte could feel her heart slowing, her breath coming easier. She smiled, and turned, a sudden newfound confidence in her position. 

“I beg your pardon, but I am your QUEEN. And I should be addressed and respected as such.” She spoke playfully.

“You aren’t the queen for a few more minutes, so I thought I would take my last opportunity to address you as princess. It won’t happen again, my lady.”

Was that sarcasm Charlotte heard? She couldn’t decide whether she liked or despised this bodyguard. But she did not have time to dwell on that emotion. Magoria was signaling her from the curtain.

“May I present, my grandaughter, your future Queen, Charlotte Jarox Belphagor!”

Charlotte took one last deep breath, and stepped into her life as queen.

+++++

The coronation itself was a simple affair, the passing of the crown, the oaths of fealty of service to the people. She had rehearsed it so many times that it was actually quite easy. It passed quickly, and soon Charlotte found herself in the antechamber once more.

Her parents and uncle were still there, as well as her new bodyguard. A stone altar had been brought in. Covered in various magical symbols, it pulsed low with energy. An obsidian knife sat on top.

Charlotte looked around the room, confused. “What is this for?” she asked worriedly. The Queen entered behind her and spoke.

“This is the altar of binding, used to create a bond of loyalty between Queen and Bodyguard. It prevents your Bodyguard from harming you, and can be used to find you if you allow it. At one time, it was used for servitude and forced submission, but now it is a bit more ceremonial, but still has its uses. Sellmyra, are you ready to take the oath?”

The bodyguard stepped forward, and removed their helmet. Charlotte had to stop herself from gasping. She’s a woman? Her surprise must have shown on her face, because the Former Queen raised an eyebrow at her. Charlotte collected herself, and nodded for her to continue.

Sellmyra removed her gauntlets, then stepped to the altar, grasping the knife in hand, placing her other hand on the stone, palm up. Rubilene guided Charlotte forward, and nodded. Sellmyra cut a deep gash in her palm with the knife, blood quickly flowing over.

The altar began to glow, the blood absorbing in. Sellmyra spoke in a practiced verse.

“I, Sellmyra Agavar of House Agavar, do swear my life to my queen. Her life is my own, and so I will protect and serve it as my own. I swear to remain by her side as long as I draw breath. I will honor her name, even should it mean rejecting my own. I will serve my master.”

The altar grew brighter as the words were spoken. Charlotte could feel the energy flowing around her, and the words came to her without question.

“I, Charlotte Jarox Belphagor of House Belphagor, accept your fealty and service. As you have offered me your life, in return, I offer you mine. I will protect my life, knowing it is yours. I will remain by your side, so long as I draw breath. I will honor my name, so that your name is honored. I accept your servitude.”

The energy swirled faster, the glow from the altar becoming blinding, and then it was gone.

Charlotte began gasping like she had been holding her breath. Had she been holding her breath? She stumbled away from the altar, and immediately found herself in the arms of Sellmyra.

Her face was close. Her brown eyes looked so concerned, so scared. Her hair was cut short in a military style, which was a shame because Charlotte thought that she might look good with long hair. Charlotte blinked. How long had she been staring at Sellmyra’s face?

Her face glowing red, Charlotte rose. She made a show of dusting her dress when she noticed a small band of black and red on her ring finger. 

“The ring on your finger is the manifestation of your bond. Should you will it, it will turn invisible. It can also be used to send a warning to your bodyguard should you be in danger. Quite handy.” Rubilene remarked. “You are now officially Queen of the Demon Realm, Charlotte.”

End of Chapter 1

(Bonus scene that I wanted to write. It gets a little steamy, but nothing graphic. Yet. Who knows what the future holds?)

The large baths of the Royal Palace were luxurious in every sense of the word. Piping hot water, scented soaps, soothing minerals, extravagant shampoos, no expense spared. And for that Charlotte was VERY thankful.

The stress of the first day of the coronation simply melted away in these bathes. As the queen, she also had them to herself, which she couldn’t decide if she liked yet. The pools of heated water were large enough to swim in, and being in them alone was a bit intimidating. But she would have to get used to that. Being the Queen was going to be hard in many ways.

So Charlotte relaxed, and allowed herself to float in the warm water.

“My lady, is everything okay in here?” A voice echoed from the door. Charlotte shot up, splashing water everywhere around her. Had she fallen asleep?

Her eyes focused through the steam, and she saw Sellmyra enter. She had thought Sellmyra tall before, but here she was, sans armor, and her size was still quite impressive. 

Dressed in just a towel, Charlotte was able to truly take in the musculature of her Bodyguard. Broad defined shoulders, biceps that were larger than her head, thighs that would make watermelons quiver in fear. Various battle scars crossed her dark skin like writing, each one telling a story of a battle won.

“What in the hells is going through my mind?” Charlotte thought. Her face felt flush. “I think the steam is getting to me.”

Charlotte moved to the edge of the pool. “I am going to get out now, I think.”

Sellmyra nodded and turned around.

“What are you doing?” Charlotte asked.

“I thought it best to give my lady some privacy.”

“Why? We are both women, aren’t we?”

“I, uh. I… You are above me in station, so I should respect you.” Sellmyra stammered.

Charlotte smiled, an idea forming in her head. She rose out of the water, and approached Sellmyra’s back. She quickly spread her arms wide, and embraced Sellmyra’s back tightly, pressing her body inwards. 

She quickly realized that maybe she had gone too far. She could feel every muscle in Sellmyra’s back tense, rippling with intense strength under her chest and arms that barely reached around.

Sellmyra did not move though. They stood there for a moment before she coughed. “My lady, would you please release me?”

Charlotte thought for a moment about staying attached to the broad back of her guard. Then her sanity caught up with her. Her eyes went wide, and she withdrew, an apology dying on her lips as she sat down to brush her mess of hair.

Of course, now is when her hair decided to fight its hardest against her. Charlotte grasped the brush like a sword against the fearsome foe that sat atop her head. Had she really just done that? Sellmyra’s muscles had been so… large.

The brush slipped from her wet fingers and clattered to the floor. As Charlotte leaned over to pick it up, Sellmyra knelt at her side and grabbed it for her.

“My lady, may I brush your hair?”

Charlotte felt her face flush a bright red once more, and this time it was certainly not the steam.

“Yes, you may.”

[raccoonfallsharder]

(sorry for the incoming essay, this game doesn't get talked about enough and I wanted to share some thoughts)

From the way he described it, I don't think eidos Rocket ever saw his relationship with Lylla as something romantic. At that point they were just two close friends stuck in a nightmare scenario (a bit like the mcu, where something more MAYBE could have happened in their relationship if she didn't die so early). What supports this is Rocket very quickly falling for Tella (right after escaping Halfworld, too), I don't think this would have happened if he felt it was some sort of betrayal to Lylla.

Honestly, I think Tella is why any relationship beyond platonic is going to be extremely hard to do with eidos Rocket. When Peter talks to Rocket about her, he constantly tries to relate to Rocket and fails to realize that Tella is the main reason Rocket has severe trust issues. When he was at his most vulnerable, the one time he tried to connect to someone outside the lab, he was treated like he was worth nothing and was left to die (it's the reason why he freaks out after Lady Hellbender calls him worthless, depending on your choices).

I'm not really sure if Groot had much impact on how Rocket sees the "filthy biologicals". The way Rocket met Groot is actually explained: he literally stole baby Groot from the Collector and raised him. Like in the mcu (imo), Groot was a one in a billion exception and there's no one else he'd consider family.

Trust is the big thing here. I don't think there's any iteration of Rocket that would be more evasive of a romantic relationship (Peter even says the classic "I didn't even know you liked girls", my guy is literally tech-sexual). He has first-hand experience in getting his heart ripped out and I don't think he'd want to go through that ever again.

(slightly off-topic, but I've noticed that eidos Rocket is actually pretty tall compared to mcu Rocket. If you line them up, his head reaches Peter's abdomen instead of his hip. Finally! Begone conflicting comic heights, begone inconsistent movie CGI that makes him look shorter sometimes, eidos Rocket is finally 4 feet nah he's like half a foot taller, 3'7 maybe?)

first of all, no apologies, i love this take and appreciate the time you took to write it and share it with me/us! i love how much thought you’ve put into it and i’d love to hear more tbh. personally, i agree with a lot of this, actually. i think you’re right in that trust is the main issue and that the incident with tella is a huge part of that, though i tend to think that rocket’s distrust starts a lot earlier with the kree scientists and is reaffirmed/compounded by tella’s betrayal. *let me also add that i drafted some of those headcanons before getting to watch the cut scene mentioning tella, and i didn’t catch all of my initial headcanons re: lylla on my revision. sorry! went back & clarified. i also am in complete agreement about rocket being very averse to romantic relationships (but i do think he pursues sexual ones, for reasons mentioned below).

i did watch rocket & quill discussing the former’s history with groot (one time, so like… take that for what it’s worth) but i am like… 75% sure that our guy explicitly mentioned not caring for biologicals (after tella) until groot. which is not to say that groot changed rocket’s opinion about biologicals - only that groot was the sole exception (at least for a time). so i think we’re fundamentally in agreement there too - i may have just miscommunicated my point.

i am also like 60% that someone (maybe it wasn’t rocket though; maybe it was quill?) referred to lylla as rocket’s girlfriend. but i do think i could be possibly thinking of something i read about the game, rather than actual in-game dialogue

finally, i think quill saying “i didn’t know you were into girls” says more about either (1) quill’s lack of observational skills or (2) possibly the sheer multitudes of genders in the galaxy. why? because rocket explicitly mentions that he’s worried about damage to “that place with the dancers” on knowhere and I’m pretty sure mentions utilizing the services of sex workers on contraxia. now, sure, it’s possible that they’re all robotic or otherwise synthetic but i just tend to believe this guy is more likely to pursue pleasure wherever he can get it as long as he can keep his emotions out of it.

finally-FINALLY: rocket’s height is an ongoing source of amusement to me so just to be a chaotic dickhead im going to challenge your 3’7” assertion with “what if this peter quill is just like… short?” (jkjk im on board)

anyway thank you thank you for writing all this, sharing all this. again i’d be fascinated to read more if your thoughts and i really do appreciate it!

[makemeanangelpure]

🩵May 30, 2024 - 113.0

🪽Day 1 of the 442 hour liquid fast

🤍I’m 13.5 hours in, 428 hours to go

☕️Today’s Cal limit: 140

I slept roughly 2 hours. Trouble falling asleep, waking up to pee every hour or thirty minutes and needing a minuscule sip of water. A little tired now but I’ll have my 5 hour energy and finish my 50 cal of coffee and go into a 7.5 hour shift. Truck day, so essentially 3 hours of cardio/weight lifting for me and 5 hours of on my feet slight lifting and reviving material. I’ll burn a good amount of extra calories today and tomorrow though, no truck then just the repackaging, maybe a few heavier things to haul around. I’m going to have one stall of celery when I get home. I’ll wait to have it at 7:42 pm where my partner can witness, alongside 2 baby carrots. That’ll put me at 75 cal for the day, and I get home around 1:30, so ill have a cup of tea while I wait for time to go, run the dishwasher and restock that, bath and shower, maybe wait to shave Thursday. Yesterday I drank a hard mike and a hard peach tea, ate a few things, threw up beforehand. Ended at 775. After I drank I didn’t have an urge to eat which is unusual but I’m assuming because I took medicine. It’s for adhd, not mine but I took it because I’d been thinking about it, thinking I might take one once a week and they’d never notice, just so I won’t get hungry. They’ve been taking it a few days and have been barely eating, I ate more than then the past two days and wanted to wring my own neck. They keep telling me about items of clothing getting looser, about our friends telling them they look like they lost weight, and they have, they do look different than a few months back. They’re taller than me and we’re in the 200-210 range and are now 189-199 and when you’re bigger, it comes off faster, it’s more noticeable. Really said something that messed with me yesterday.. and it was ignorance.. that if 10 pounds on me wasn’t that much different to them why would 10 more pounds be.. which they’ve seen pictures of me when I was 15-20 pounds lighter, they just haven’t been around me like that. I was heavier.. 10 pounds heavier than I am now when I started living here last year and if they don’t notice how I’ve dropped weight and my fucking face isn’t so round after just 10 pounds, I’ll just have to make them see and if anything they’ll feel a difference when they lift me up. Always picking me up around the house and carrying me places, jostling me but I want it to be easier. I want to hear them say that I feel lighter in some kind of form or fashion. The goal is to be 20 pounds lighter by June 28 so I’d be 93 which would break my old low weight:94, from 3 fucking years ago now. A baby shower on the 22 to go to so by then I’m going to try to be 97 for. The mother is someone who always copied me in highschool, and afterward and I just want her to really see how different we are. I also want to be the thinnest at a friend group gathering and I want her nosey mother to gossip to the others about how “ sick” I look. I want to eat a piece of cake with them and have it look seamless for me, because I’ll have worked hard to not worry about 350 cal of sugar for a day or whatever. To eat a little of what is made, not finish my food or my cake, and throw a tiny bit away.. like a quarter I guess. On Friday I’ll weigh and measure my waist, on the 22 I’m measure everything and then again on the 28. I last weighed last Friday so I’m going off that. My period seemed to skip a month but it’s irregular anyhow. My partner said it’s cause I’m not eating enough but I beg to differ. A lot of my days have been 1000-2000 days the past few weeks. I think it’s stress related. By the 28th, I’m going to drink again. Get blush wine and have two cups to celebrate things being better and I’ll be smaller and feel more put together, feel prettier when we get kissy buzzy and cuddle up close. Saturday I’m making a favorite dinner for them… I’m going to pick the smallest chicken for myself, cut it in half and then cut it into ( I’ll figure out how many pieces) 7 pieces of course 44 for a bite, 313 roughly for the whole chicken. One bite cause it’s a 75 cal day. I know he’ll cut it for me and be sweet.

[zhonglilover12]

I’m gonna be honest and rant about something I saw most on TikTok before I left the app but also on other social platforms, but I am a little tired of people acting like bi/pan women/femmes lean majority same-sex/same-gender aesthetic attraction and just stay with their boyfriend/husband/masc partner (who are often described generally as unattractive or basically just roasted for other reasons) out of obligation or reluctant love. I realized that I was bi about a year ago, and you know what?! I still have a majority (I’d estimate 65 or 75%) preference for men and masc forms/beauty! Do I think a lot of women/femmes (especially athletic and usually taller alt women/femmes) are beautiful and attractive and want them? Yes. But I also find mascs/men attractive and appreciate their beauty as well! Stop pretending that bi women/femmes that stay with or get a male/masc partner only do so reluctantly or as a comphet situation! Fuck that, male/masc beauty is just as deserving of appreciation as female/femme beauty. Neither is more than the other and are both neutral in value and I will fucking die on this hill. I am not saying that you should be forced to enjoy more than you personally prefer, but at least don’t degrade or otherwise put down which you least appreciate/prefer. Ok, rant over.

[xsweetelegantdisasterx]

I posted 92 times in 2022

That's 82 more posts than 2021!

17 posts created (18%)

75 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@umbralhelwolf

@mythicwonderland

@kpopcrossworlds

@drunk-on-hwa

@xsweetelegantdisasterx

I tagged 71 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#ateez - 13 posts

#the rampage from exile tribe - 13 posts

#ldh - 12 posts

#he can catch these tiny hands of fury - 12 posts

#the rampage - 11 posts

#but im jonghos trash can 🗑 - 11 posts

#life ruiner - 8 posts

#ateez jongho - 8 posts

#he's so beautiful - 8 posts

#bias - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 62 characters

#have grace like a giraffe on rollerskates normally so bring it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My Rant-ish post:

I'm really late on the High and Low Bandwagon but I saw the error of my ways and I am attempting to right my wrong. (LISTEN I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SERIES FOR THE PAST MONTHS, I JUST SPREAD OUT THE MOVIES BY ALOT.)

*I've also been a fan of LDH for a while now*

Who isn't righting their wrong tho you ask?

Every. Single. Sword. Member. Yes I Said it.

Also, my attraction to Ranmaru had me wanting to rub my face on the concrete.

He was kinda terrifying which is not good for my heart. 😲

See the full post

6 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#4

Well hell. I'm finally done with the first chapter. It was getting long, and I honestly feel like Kaisei deserves a multi-chapter story ♡ because he's Kaisei, and deserves the world.

So, here is the first chapter:

Pairing: You & Kaisei (Rampage from Exile Tribe)

Genre: Mostly Fluff

Streaming:

Chapter 1: A series of events.

You pulled outfits against your body in the mirror. One of your school friends invited you out with her friends. Usually you were snuggled up in bed, trying to catch that new episode of your favorite show. Tonight, you were trying something new. You even looked at your gaming console to ensure that it wasn't him, it was you. You would be back and y'all would be reunited afterwards to stream for your followers. Gaming was a huge hobby of yours. After all, you had been doing it since you were younger. Breaking the stigma that only guys kicked ass at games, you made it a goal nightly to silence any male chauvinist you met with.

With one shoe on and another off, you completed the task of dolling yourself up.

Geeze, if I didn't know any better, I was a makeup artist in another life.

Final preparations happened as you heard knocking, expecting her. To your knowledge, it was supposed to be just you two, but you noticed unfamiliar faces. Stepping aside you let the others in.

“Sorry, they invited me, and I asked if you could come.”

“No that's fine-"

“What's this strange setup?”

You were interrupted by the taller one. She turned her nose up at your gaming layout.

“Oh, I'm a streamer. I play games and record for others to watch.” You proudly showed off your new console.

“That's dumb, are you a child?” She scoffed at your statement.

You bit your tongue. If this was any indication of how your night was going to go, you weren't impressed. One thing you had to constantly tell yourself was that you were going for your friend, not her.

“Actually, I'm very successful. Gaming is a stress relief for me, and I enjoy it so I don't have to defend myself to you.”

You grabbed your clutch ready to go. This girl was extra mouthy and reminded you why you never went anywhere. At the club they chose to go with, there was a line already that wrapped around the block. From the street, you could tell it was going to be near impossible to enter, but whatever. The bouncer was in full flirt mode with the bitchy one. When he raised the rope, you felt a small sense of relief, before he pulled it down in front of you.

“I'm with them, what are you doing?”

You were clearly past annoyed at this point. You tried to catch the group but they ignored your yelling.

“I didn't see them conversing with you.”

“Ah, I get it. I do, do you normally discriminate like this?”

“I let the pretty ones in no problem. You'll get your turn squirt.”

This guy was the type you dealt with everyday. Your turn looked grim, until you saw the opportunity to sneak in with another group of patrons.

Prick. I’d 1v1 you right now if I was around a console to knock that arrogant attitude of yours down a notch.

You finally entered trying to catch up with the others. When you looked around, you noticed them by the bar. Clasping the clutch tighter, you marched over to the group you were supposed to be with. Again, they did nothing but ignore you to gawk at a couple of guys. You rolled your eyes so hard, you had to lower the intensity lest your eyes were in danger of falling out.

“Thanks for waiting for me ladies.”

“Oh you got in,” the mouthy one started up.

“Surprising right?” You matched her attitude.

See the full post

6 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#3

Little Snippets of writing:

Who: You & Kamiya Kenta {The RAMPAGE From EXILE TRIBE}

Midnight Snack

You stood in the kitchen readying your stomach to be filled with delicious brownies. It wasn't uncommon for you to get bit by the midnight snack bug. Everyone knew this, especially your roommate Kenta. As you pulled the brownies out, you got excited, wanting to dive in quickly. The aroma was enough to send your stomach into devour mode.

Kenta was more than likely sleeping from practicing all day, so this was a solo adventure. That didn't keep you from knocking on his door.

Over the course of the weeks, you found yourself crushing on your best friend. There really wasn’t any explanation other than he was your glove. He was the one you wanted to be with. Lightly knocking on the door, he grunted.

“Kenta, I know you just laid down and got comfortable, but I made these brownies.”

“What is wrong?”

“I don’t want to eat them by myself. I just want your company.”

Kenta, without ever opening his eyes, drew back his covers as he patted the empty spot next to him, signaling for you to climb in bed. You smiled big as you climbed next to him. He wrapped his arm around your waist, resting his head on your lap, as you dove into the brownies. With a brownie in one hand and a plate in the other, your free range was limited. There was no possible way to eat two brownies while holding the plate. Suddenly, you looked down as a brilliant idea crossed that mind of yours. You lightly placed the plate on his head, provoking him in a fit of laughter, and a big ass smile to cross your lips.

“Am I your table too?” Kenta muttered in his sleepy voice.

“You’re definitely my table at the moment. Listen, I usually have two brownies, one for each hand. I needed to free up space, hence where your head comes in handy.”

He cuddled you closer as you ate in solace.

12 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

#2

100 DEGREES

I swear this song is the secret to a long, healthy life span. Their stage presence is 💯💥

But the question is:

ARE YOU SLEEPING ON MY MANS, AND NOT IN YOUR BEDS AT NIGHT?

If you answered yes to any of that question, then we need to have a meeting. When you're ready to talk about my lord and savior

Kawamura Kazuma, or any of the 15 other guys that take space up in my heart, my inbox is always ready.

14 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Would I beckon at his every call?

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I WOULD. 💋

See the full post

24 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[howtowearblackinthesummer]

I have 3 teeth that need to be pulled and no dental insurance so I can’t afford to fix that

My car is like 2 weeks from breaking down, expired registration, no car insurance and is sitting in an impound lot where they want $550 minimum just to free her. That won’t even fix the registration problem. Also the last time I got an insurance quote they wanted $600 a month. Can’t afford to fix that.

My mortgage (on a house that I don’t even fucking want or know how to take care of fr) has gone up an extra $500 a month. Also I lost some shingles from my roof and my neighbors call HOA if my grass is taller than 1.25 inches. So I’ll need a roofer, landscaper, and a plumber. Can’t afford to fix that.

I have bronchitis and I can’t take the medicine they prescribed bcuz the side effects would make it impossible to work but I need money so I can’t NOT work. I guess I’ll just keep coughing then.

Not to mention I don’t have health insurance and I paid for that visit out of pocket. Did you know it’s $119 just to be seen? $75 for a mandatory COVID test?

I’m 6 credits short of my bachelor’s degree and I really wanna finish school so i can just leave all of this shit behind and teach English or art in a Spanish speaking country.

Or I could just die but EVEN THAT SHIT IS TOO EXPENSIVE HERE. I’m fucking drowning.

You know what I can afford? Weed and alcohol to forget that I feel like shit 92% of the time. I REALLY fucking hate it here. Like on earth in general. I wanted to outlive my parents since no one should have to bury their child but I’m drowning and honestly I’m not sure I even want a life vest.

My only silver lining has been my job. I love my kiddos. I love teaching them about art. But I’m beginning to despise my coworkers.

I have court next week and my mom has a surgery that I’ll need to be present for so I won’t be at work 2 days before spring break and when I don’t work I don’t get paid so idk how anything is gonna be paid come April.

THEN I feel like who am I to complain when my dad has been wheelchair bound since 17 but is a firm believer in pulling yourself up by the bootstraps bcuz that’s what he did and according to him he shouldn’t be alive. My mom has this mystery surgery coming up while working 3 jobs and moving in my grandmother who has dementia. My brother has HIV and Autism so he’s got his own problems that are obviously bigger than mine.

Everyone in my family is managing to survive but I wanna cease to exist. If I say that to a therapist I’ll get put in a psych ward and miss work which is my main source of happiness and my only source of income.

I had been planning to join the 27 club back when I was 12. Now that I’m 27…that option seems like it’s on the table, waiting for me.

[candletocandle]

Mindset

Opening verse:

Colossians 3:2 - Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

Introduction: could have been the great of all time

I know not all of you here watch professional basketball or even follow the Lakers, but I am sure you have heard of a basketball player named Shaquille O’Neal

He played center for the Lakers and won three consecutive championships in the early 2000s

He was a dominant force in his prime and is widely considered to be one of the top 50 NBA players of all time

You could count the number of people who could give him a challenge on one hand

Shaq himself only admitted to two people he struggled to play against

As great as Shaq was, he had glaring flaws

He was a terrible free throw shooter - less than 50% for his career.

He did not have the maniacal work effort like his teammate Kobe Bryant

His ego and inability to share the ball with Kobe (who admittedly had a big ego also) caused a schism on the Lakers

Shaq was ultimately traded away

Don’t get me wrong - Shaq had a great career, winning 4 NBA championships among all sorts of other accolades

However, if Shaq actually worked half as hard as Kobe and raised his free throw shooting percentage to 75%, he could have been the highest scoring player of all time

Not only that, if he stayed with the Lakers, he and Kobe could have easily won at least another 3 championships together, if not not more

What I am saying is Shaq could have been the greatest player of all time, even greater than Michael Jordan or Lebron James

What hindered him?

He just did not have the mindset

Mindset

Whether you are going to propose to someone, try to get fitter, or became the greatest basketball player in the world, you must first have the mindset to achieve such goals

What do I mean by mindset?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines mindset as a fixed attitude, disposition, mood, or intention

While we often talk about mindset in achieving physical and earthly goals, I would like to talk about the importance of having a spiritual mindset

There are two passages I would like for you to keen in mind for today’s message

2 Timothy 3:1-5

Revelation 2:2-5 - the loveless church

Saul

What do you know of King Saul of the Bible?

Some people would answer that he was the first king of Israel

Most people would say he was an unfaithful king who was eventually replaced by David

I am sure quite a few of you here would say he was the guy who consulted with the witch of Endor in that famous Bible story all good Adventists know

To be sure, those are defining aspects of Saul’s life

What if I were to tell you if Saul had remained completely faithful to God, we would be calling Jesus the son of Saul?

I would like to take a brief look at Saul’s life so we can learn some insights about spiritual mindset

First appearance

We first meet Saul in the book of 1 Samuel chapter 9

At this time the people of Israel began asking for a king to lead them, to be like other nations

While this was a terrible idea which would have long-lasting repercussions, God obliged and chose Saul to be their king

Saul was looking for his father’s lost donkeys

He ended up going to the prophet Samuel to inquire for his help

(This is a rather mundane request to ask of a prophet, if you think about it)

Samuel invited Saul to eat with him and told him to not worry about the donkeys

And Samuel said something rather interesting to Saul:

“And on whom is all the desire of Israel?  Is it not on you and on all your father’s house?”

Saul’s response:

1 Samuel 9:21 - And Saul answered and said, “Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin?  Why then do you speak like this to me?

What was Saul’s mindset at this time?

Doesn’t he seem rather humble?

This is very interesting since the Bible first describes Saul as being very handsome and a head taller than ay of the people in Israel

Saul was also the son of Kish, who was described as a mighty man of power

If Saul were alive today, he probably could have become an athlete or a movie star

Yet, he saw himself as a regular person, a nobody even

Saul anointed as king

Let’s go to the next chapter

Samuel anointed Saul to be king of Israel

The Holy Spirit came upon Saul and he prophesied with a group of prophets

When Saul finally came home, he told his uncle he went out looking for the donkeys and went to see the prophet Samuel

Saul’s uncle asked what Samuel said to him

How did Saul answer:?

1 Samuel 10:16 - So Saul said to his uncle, “He told us plainly that the donkeys had been found.”  But about the matter of the kingdom, he did not tell him what Samuel said.

Isn’t that interesting?

Saul didn’t tell uncle that Samuel anointed him king of all Israel or that he was prophesying with other prophets

When Samuel proclaimed to Israel that Saul was to be their king, no one could find him

They actually had to inquire of the Lord to find Saul

1 Samuel 10:22 - …and the Lord answered, “He is there, hidden among the equipment”

The new king of Israel was hiding from his own coronation!

It seems evident he did not feel he was qualified to be king

However, there were some people in Israel who did not approve of Saul as king

1 Samuel 10:27 - But some rebels said, “How can this man save us?”  So they despised him, and brought him no presents.  But he held his peace.

Saul could have commanded the dissidents be punished, imprisoned, or even put to death, but he did not

This showed great character

Saul’s victory

Jabesh Gilead besieged by the Ammonites

The Holy Spirit came upon Saul (1 Samuel 11:6) and he rallied the Israelites to fight the Ammonites

Saul led the Israelites to a great victory

The people wanted to put the rebels who despised Saul to death, but Saul intervened on their behalf

1 Samuel 11:13 - “Not a man shall be put to death this day, for today the Lord has accomplished salvation in Israel”

Saul was open to the Holy Spirit

Saul showed mercy to those who despised him

Saul gave all credit to God for his victory

Turning point 1: Saul’s unlawful sacrifice (1 Samuel 13:1-15)

Two years later, Israel at war with the Philistines

Saul had 3000 men, Philistines had 30,000 chariots and 6,000 horsemen alone 

People were scattered, in hiding, afraid

Saul waited seven days to meet Samuel at an appointed place 

However, Samuel seemingly did not appear on time

Saul decided to offer the a sacrifice to the Lord on his own

Samuel arrived when Saul just finished the offering

Saul was severely rebuked

God was testing Saul’s heart and he failed

Had Saul passed, God would have established Saul’s kingdom forever

Saul was found to NOT be a man after God’s own heart

Turning point 2: Saul’s rash oath

1 Samuel 14:24 - “And the men of Israel were distressed that day, for Saul had placed the people under oath, saying, “Cursed is the man who eats any food until evening, before I have taken vengeance on my enemies.” So none of the people tasted food.”

‭‭The men of Israel were faint and hungry but were afraid of Saul’s curse

Even when they found honey, they did not eat it

Jonathan, who earlier won a battle acting on faith, returned and saw the honey

He did not know about the oath and ate some honey

He was told of the oath, but he disagreed with what his father had commanded

When the Philistines were driven back and it was evening, the people took the spoils, slew the sheep and oxen, and ate them with blood

Saul built his first altar to God

When Saul inquired of God, he received no answer

Saul blamed the people’ sin on Jonathan and tried to have him killed 

However, the people rejected this and saved Johnathan

Turning point 3: Saul’s failure to completely eradicate the Amalekites

Saul was commanded by God to completely destroy the Amalekites

However, Saul spared Agar, the Amalekite king

Saul and the Israelites also spared the best livestock, which they took as spoils

1 Samuel 15:12 - “So when Samuel rose early in the morning to meet Saul, it was told Samuel, saying, “Saul went to Carmel, and indeed, he set up a monument for himself; and he has gone on around, passed by, and gone down to Gilgal.

Note when Samuel went to meet Saul, he found out Saul set up a monument for himself

When Samuel confronted Saul and told him he did not follow God’s command, Saul tried to justify himself

Samuel told Saul that God will choose someone else to lead Israel, Saul was most concerned about his reputation and keeping up appearances (1 Samuel 15:30)

What happened to Saul?

When we first met Saul, it seemed that he had the right mindset to be a good king for Israel, a good Christian, and a faithful follower of God

Yet, in only two years, Saul was already drifting away

1 Samuel 13:14 - But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you.”

Did God make a mistake in choosing Saul?  

Or did God purposely pick someone faulty to teach the people of Israel a lesson?

I don’t think so

Consider last five years of NBA drafts

The first pick in the past five years did not prove to be the best player in that year’s draft

(Picks 3-5 seem to have better careers so far)

Why were those number 1 draft picks chosen in the first place?

Oftentimes, it was based on their athletic ability and their potential to be even greater

Saul had all the qualities necessary to be a good king for Israel

He had the potential to be a great example for all of Israel

However, it was up to Saul to make the commitment to be completely faithful to God

A man after God’s own heart

Acts 13:22 - And when He had removed him, He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, “I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.”

How was David superior to Saul?

if you compare what the Bible records about Saul and David, relatively speaking, Saul’s sins pale in comparison to David’s sins

Let’s be honest, David’s spiritual life at times was a dumpster fire

David committed sexual assault, adultery, murder

He was a liar, he was a poor father

One time his pride caused a plague to fall upon Israel Is this same David really a man after God’s own heart?

Yet, as spectacular as David has fallen spiritually at times, he always came back to God

Unlike Saul, David confessed his sins and repented of them

He endured the consequences of his sins, but in the end, David put his trust in God

While Saul had a great spiritual experience in the beginning, he did not advance further spiritually

Saul’s actions during those three pivotal moments of his life showed that he grew to be reliant upon himself, rather than upon God

He had experienced spiritual eyes as a prophet and a king, but he did not grow further spiritually

Ultimately, Saul’s mindset was focused on worldly greatness

What is your mindset?

Are you more like Saul or David when it comes to your spiritual life?

Do you truly believe Jesus is your Lord and Savior?

Do you have the right spiritual mindset?

Does your inward spiritual life reflect the outward life you portray to other people?

Are you willing to commit more time to prayer and Bible study every day?

Going to church every week or even going to things like GYC is not going to cut it with God

Representation is not salvation

I’ve heard the adults in the Vietnamese group talk

“Oh, if we had someone else like Jessica or John or Hung or Kristi, our church would be able to do more.”

I understand their sentiment, but they are wrong

We have you

You all have potential for greatness in the kingdom of God

Are you truly hungry for righteousness?

Are your eyes completely upon Jesus?

Do you have the mindset to follow Jesus wherever He guides you?

[stabbysideblog]

[DSMP]

Technos 75 day

Prison arc day 212

"I have-"

"Another story? Do you come up with these yourself or did you read the most morbid kids book ever?"

"they are... in my brain."

"That means nothing."

"Do you want to hear it?"

"Does it have a good ending?"

"I'm not going to spoil it."

"Fine. Go ahead Techno."

"There was a farmer, he owned a massive farm but he worked on it alone. He was so old noone in the town knew why he worked alone or how he had the energy to handle it all alone. Nobody bothered to ask, whenever he came into town he was quiet only shuffling into the stores to pick up what he needed for the month and riding his horse home.

People rumored that he killed his entire family and was controlling their corpses to do the work. Some people said he was friends with his animals who worked for him. There was even a rumor that he used his mind to harvest all of his crops. One day a boy no older than 10 and no taller than 4 feet decided the he would find out what the old man was doing. He packed his bag and decided to just knock on his door and ask.

Knock Knock, the boy knocked on the door noting how odd the deep black door looked on the otherwise normal brick house. The door opened, the hinges must have been oiled recently because it didn't squeak at all.

'hello?' the old man called out

'down here sir!' the boy replied waving his hand. 'I came to inter-ro-gate you!'

The old man looked down finally seeing the small child at his doorstep. 'Well if you're going to interrogate me you'll probably get thirsty from asking questions, would you like some water?'

The boy nodded 'yes please sir, it is very hot outside Also, may I come inside to iter-gate you?'

'Sure' the old man stepped aside letting the boy into his house. It was surprisingly big with few furnishings but everything seemed to have far too many seats for one person. 'Sit at the table I will bring us water' the old man gestured to a large elaborate dining table with 20 seats. The boy decided to sit at the end of the table.

The old man came back with a pitcher of iced lemon water and two glasses, he poured a glass for himself and the boy. 'What is your name son?'

'I am Johny but my mom calls me mistake' the boy stated pulling a lemon slice out of his glass.

'That's a mean name to call your child'

'Well she says it's true' Johny shrugs and sips his water. 'Now I ask you questions! First question, Is it hard to work alone? I work alone at school a lot and I don't like it.'

'It is alot of work for me, but I manage. Do you not have any friends that work with you?'

'No my ma says it's because I'm un-like-able. Next question, why do you live alone?'

The old man got very sad at this. 'My family was dead. They got very sick one night and in the morning. I was the only one alive.'

'that's very sad! why didn't you tell anyone? My mom always says Mistake if you are in trouble tell the cops not me.'

'I couldn't.'

'Why?'

'Would you like to see something?'

'okay!'

And the old man led oblivious Johny into his field where there was a dark rock the same color as his door waiting. The rock was large bit not taller than than the corn stalks around it. 'I brought them back,' the old man whispered.

'what?'

'I brought them back.' he turned around with a sudden energy Johny has never seen in someone so infirm. He tried to back away but the old man had gripped his shoulder with such force there was no hope of escape. There was a light in the old man's eyes a consuming darkness that hurt to look at, Johny couldn't understand this but he was staring into the bright-dark of death. The final brilliant darkness that takes all of us.

'I was probably your age. This rock is our God. All my life was leading up to that moment Johny. I knew what I had to do. I brought. Them. Back. Our blessed God, granted up immortality, the infinite revival of life.. There's just one problem.'

Johny, tears spilling over his cheeks asked the final question. 'W- wh- what is it s- sir?'

'I haven't gotten to talk to them. Our God is hungry.' The old man got to see his family again and noone looked for poor Mistake."

"You suck at this."

"I saw your face, You were invested."

"What else could I possibly be invested in there is nothing else in this cell Techno."

"True, true. So you liked it?"

"I guess."

For the rest of the day nobody brought up the book.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Same anon who asked the question about weight, height and age exclusions here. I understand your reasoning, and I too like more flexibility in character creation and world building. However, I see no harm in keeping those specific details, if for nothing else than a sort of a set of base characteristics of particular races. You can still have your own world in which Elves live only as long as humans do or have 6ft Dwarves, without stripping away any differences and eccentricities from a certain race from the jump. It just seems so unnecessary and bland. Sorry for such a long ass ask.

I, as a real human person, am as tall as a PHB dwarf.

Out of 33 non-humans that give an age range before Van Richten's (which also did not give ages, heights, or weights), and not counting Acquisitions Incorporated, twelve of them have some variant of "their lifespan is comparable to humans". Another seven have lifespans given within 75 to 120 years. So, 60% of races already have lifespans that are within a real-life human's expected lifespan. Fifteen out of twenty-three non-human races have heights listed that are within the human typical of "five to over six feet".

Both leonins, centaurs, and minotaurs are described as living about a human range and are expected six to seven feet tall. Kalashtar and aasimar both live a range comparable to humans and are on average the same height as humans. Bugbears and dragonborn are both described to live up to eighty and are over six feet tall. Is lifespan, height, and weight really that significant that there no distinctions or eccentricities between these pairs peoples then?

If there's differences and eccentricities between a minotaur and a leonin despite the fact that they're the same height and lifespan, then we will continue to have that going forward. A fairy and a harengon are VERY clearly distinct despite Witchlight ALREADY making this change.

In the end, it's unnecessary information, actually, that really did not add much, and it's information that the vast majority of people already ignored.

Dwarves are between 3 and 4 feet tall (they're actually described as 4 to 5 feet, also they're medium creatures). Elves are typically shorter than humans (they're "under 5 feet to over six feet" which is a normal human range). Half-orcs are on average significantly taller than humans, easily clearing 6 feet (half-orcs stand from 5 feet to over 6 feet). Saytrs live hundreds of years (they live as long as humans do). Kenku are exceptionally diminutive (they average 5 feet). Kobolds are notably short-lived (they can live up to 120, actually).

In my experience, the vast majority of what people believed this information was does not actually match what the book says. Tieflings are any color—wait, that's not in the book?

If we've all been ignoring age, weight, and height already as a community, why should they continue to retain it and imply that there is a Correct Way? Really, a significant number of real-life humans don't fit within the D&D ranges for height, weight, and life expectancy because it varies for a lot of reasons.

The thing is, by setting an explicit lifespan and physical descriptions, it is actually specifically telling people, "This is the correct way to depict these peoples." Removing it explicitly gives people the freedom to decide what they wish per what they feel appropriate to context—and that includes you, if you wish to have dwarves who are never taller than 4 and a half feet and elves who live to be 600. And we do still have size categories, and there is a marked difference between a small and a medium creature.

I simply do not feel that, for me, the significant differences and eccentricities of playing a human vs. dwarf vs. elf vs. halfling vs. tiefling vs. half-orc vs. half-elf at all took into account various ranges in height, weight, or lifespans. They all still have their own unique characteristics outside of that, then further cultural differences per setting, both of which for me is where their differences and eccentricities actually came from.

So, for me, the loss of this information does not in any way flatten them all out to be less distinct from each other because, well, most of the distinctions didn't come from that—rather, it shifts focus to their other distinctions.

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

51. "You're cold, take my jacket."

And 75. "You're overworking yourself... Please take a break."

For 2020 rayvor

stay as long as you need | ray&trevor or ray/trevor | 2k | g

ao3 link in reblogs!

--

Ray hasn’t been to this house in such a long time. So long that he thinks, maybe, Rose was with him, the last time, that she’d held his hand as they’d made their way up this strange driveway. It has an eerie quality to it, deeply familiar yet changed, like something he saw in a dream a long time ago rather than somewhere he used to spend a huge amount of his time with the people most important to him.

The barbed wire’s new.

It’s made more surreal by how exhausted Ray is from the last few weeks, and by the phone conversation that preceded his visit, and the amount of time Ray has spent lying awake at night trying to make this decision. Trying to do what’s best for everyone. Trying to figure out where he fits in that.

Anyway. He makes it in through the scary new security gate, because Trevor (or possibly Trevor’s assistant) had the forethought to text him the entry code, and he finds himself at the unnecessarily imposing front door, his confidence somewhat faltering.

It’s not going to do you any good to put things off, a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Rose reminds him. The thought of her, the expression she’d have on her face as she scolded him, makes him smile, gives him the encouragement he needs to go up to the door and press the foreboding doorbell. He’s almost expecting to be greeted by one of Trevor’s string of housekeepers, assistants, secretaries and associates who constantly cycle through the house, but when the door opens, he’s surprised to be face-to-face with Trevor himself.

It’s astonishingly painful, the kind of emotion that’s so powerful it’s impossible to distinguish between happiness or sadness, like those categories have become irrelevant in the face of its intensity. Trevor looks older, which isn’t a surprise, because it’s not like Ray hasn’t seen photos of him in that time (Ray’s kept up with the tabloids, not that he’s proud to admit it), but regardless, it’s still different seeing him in person. Trevor looks like he hasn’t been sleeping, and not just a usual Trevor level of running on too little sleep and too little food and too little time to breathe, but like he really hasn’t been sleeping, something drawn around the edges of his jaw, huge bags under his eyes. Ray swallows against the lump that forms in his throat.

“Uh. Hey,” Trevor says, intensely stiff and awkward in a way that makes him almost sound like Bobby, for a moment. “You… you okay? Look rough.”

Surprised, Ray responds, “I -- yeah, as well as I can be. You?”

“Fine,” Trevor says gruffly. Then he recovers, somewhat, smoothes it over with his nonchalant celebrity tone when he continues, “D’you mind if we go for a walk? Carrie’s home, I don’t want to stress her out.”

Ray assumes this means Carrie didn’t know he was coming, which hurts a little just because he misses her so much. If it was just that Trevor wanted to talk away from her, the house is large enough that they could go to the other side and yell at the top of their lungs and she still wouldn’t hear them.

(Ray really hopes no one will be yelling at all, regardless of where they’re located, actually).

“Sure,” he says, shrugs his shoulders. Doesn’t know how to deal with this kind of informality when he still feels like he’s gently crumbling on the inside, like everything in him is screaming at him to give Trevor a hug when he knows that’s not appropriate, or in-line with a gradual and sustainable reconciliation, and everything else he’s talked to Dr. Turner about.

Trevor slips out and closes the door behind him and gestures for Ray to follow him, which Ray does, because apparently that’s still what he does. Trevor falls into step next to Ray as he leads him down into the strange, feng-shui garden they’ve got going on at the back of the house. In his rockstar-style heeled boots, Trevor is just a little taller than Ray, their shoulders level as they almost brush. Ray can’t remember being so aware of the space between him and another person in years and years.

The path winds downhill, then curves to the right, around some heavy willow trees that obscure Ray’s vision until it opens up into a glade. There’s a carefully placed wrought-iron bench on one side, looking down over the hill and shaded by the willows flowing down around it on all sides. A few feet over there’s a statue of what looks like a Greek deity, not that it’s Ray’s area of expertise.

Trevor sits on the bench and clasps his hands in the space between his knees. He leaves space for Ray to sit beside him, so Ray does. He bites back the temptation to ask why in the world Trevor has a Greek statue in the middle of what seems to be, otherwise, a very East-Asian style garden. To be honest, he thinks maybe his instinct to make a dig about it comes from the fact that he doesn’t really know what else to say.

It had been so difficult to understand what Trevor was even talking about, over the phone, words all tied up and Ray’s ears ringing with the emotion and surprise of the fact that the conversation was happening at all. Something about the past coming back to haunt them.

“So,” says Trevor. Maybe it’s disconcerting for other people to see him fumble like this, Ray thinks, since he’s usually so charming, so put-together. Ray just finds it familiar, almost soothing, the reminder that Bobby’s still in there somewhere, under everything. “Uh. I know you already told me, but… can we start from the beginning?”

So that’s what they do. Ray does his best to retrace, one step at a time, the events of the day after the Orpheum, Julie approaching him in the kitchen, Papi, there’s something I have to tell you... The way she’d lead him out to the garage when he didn’t believe her, and there they were -- her three bandmates, not from Sweden at all, but from 1995. It was surreal, after so long hearing stories from Trevor and then Julie, to see those boys in the flesh - what at least looked like the flesh. Later, Julie confirmed this, based on Flynn pricking Luke’s finger with a safety pin, and him yelping at the way it actually touched him, the way a real droplet of blood formed in that spot.

(Trevor’s eyes go faraway, unreadable, at every mention of Luke.)

Ray leaves space for Trevor to ask questions, but he doesn’t. He sits and listens, encourages Ray on with something like and then what or is that it? when the silence stretches out too long, but besides that doesn’t have much to say at all.

By the end of the story the sun is starting to set, and the garden around them is growing cool. With the adrenaline fading, the surreal feeling of the situation settling in, Ray realises that he’s tired, too, that this feels like the longest period of time he’s spent sitting down in one place for at least a few weeks. There’s been an overwhelming amount of change and a lot of extra work, for all these new people who need him for different reasons. Really, he hasn’t had much time to process or adjust.

Beside him, Trevor starts to shiver a little. He’s trying to hide it, but again, it’s just him and Ray, so he’s doing a poor job. Ray goes to slide his coat off, pausing to muffle a yawn into his elbow. If it was like old times, he would have just held the side of his jacket open, curled Trevor into it and put an arm around his shoulders. But Trevor’s broader than he was then, seems to be eating better even if he’s not looking after himself in other ways.

Plus all the other reasons. There are so many reasons it’s not like old times.

“What are you -- Ray, stop,” Trevor says, bordering on petulant, god, he sounds so much like himself, like Bobby, “don’t.”

“You’re cold. Take my jacket,” Ray says, raising his eyebrows. It’s an invitation for Trevor to try and lie to him if he really wants, because Ray knows he’s right. Trevor looks down at his feet, kicks a pebble. It’s such a Bobby gesture. Ray will never fully be able to separate the two, no matter how much time he’s given.

He holds out the jacket, insistent. Trevor hesitates, but only for a moment, before he takes it from Ray, slides it on over his probably-disgustingly-expensive plain white t-shirt. “There,” Trevor grumbles, “you happy?”

“Yes,” says Ray, and it comes out too genuine, too heartfelt.

Trevor looks at him again, crease in his brow. Tilts his head, narrows his eyes. “So they’ve just been… living with you, since then?”

Ray blinks, taken aback. “That’s right,” he replies, smothering another yawn into the back of his hand. To play it off, he jokes, “We did always want a big family.”

“You’re overworking yourself,” Trevor mutters. “I can tell how tired you are, and I know having the boys -- the ghosts,” he corrects himself, “having the ghosts around must mean you have a lot going on.” Trevor runs both hands through his hair, pushes it back off his face, and carries on. “I know how good you are at making other people feel like everything’s taken care of, but… you’ll burn out if you’re not careful.”

Suddenly, Ray feels too warm in the face, like there are too many eyes on him even though it’s just him and Trevor in the garden. “I just told you that all of your bandmates came back as ghosts, joined a band with my daughter, and somehow now they’re alive again,” he laughs, “and you’re worried about me?”

Trevor doesn’t laugh. Just swallows, meets Ray’s eyes, and says, “Yeah. I am. Because I know you. And I know how you are, that you won’t let anyone else help unless they make you.”

It’s been such a huge few weeks. And now Ray knows, more than anything, that he should be taking care of Trevor, and here’s Trevor, probably still in shock, trying to take care of him instead. “And who are you suggesting I ask for help?” he says at last. “You?”

“I would do it in a heartbeat,” Trevor assures him. “Anything. For you and the kids and -- and the boys. Whatever you needed. But you can’t keep going on your own til you crash and burn.”

Ray can’t remember the last time he had someone call him out like that, so directly, so shamelessly to his face.

Oh. Yes, he can. His gut twists with missing her so much it hurts.

Trevor smiles, a twisted, grimacing, affectionate thing, and says, “Sorry. It’s what she would’ve wanted me to say.”

“She would have,” Ray agrees. He sits back against the bench. Feels his arm press to Trevor’s. “She always said I needed to be more selfish.”

“She was right.” Trevor nudges him, elbow to elbow. His eyes are bitter and tired and kind. He’s going to break down later, Ray reminds himself, he’ll need me, I know he will. And he’s ready for that, feels bad that they’re not focusing on Trevor right now, but the shock could mean it’s taking time for the news to really sink in. And all Trevor’s expression is giving him is understanding and patience and concern.

Maybe Ray can afford to be selfish, just for a moment. Maybe it would help Trevor, if he was. Before he can think it through too much, he shuffles to lean his head on Trevor’s shoulder, against the fabric of his own jacket. He feels Trevor tense, and he almost thinks he’s made a mistake, but then Trevor takes a deep, shaky breath, and his arm comes up around Ray’s waist, to pull him in closer, to hold him tight. His fingertips dig into Ray’s side, almost too tight, but settling in just right.

“Yeah,” Trevor says, hushed. He turns his head and Ray feels Trevor rest his face in Ray’s hair. He might press a kiss there, but maybe Ray’s tired mind is just imagining things. “Just like that. Just… please, take a break.”

“Okay,” Ray whispers. Doesn’t dare speak any louder than that, for fear of breaking the spell.

Trevor sighs out a long breath like he’s been holding it in for years. Like he’s been holding it in since he was Bobby, surrounded by his boys alive and well, or since he was Bobby, curled on Ray and Rose’s couch, tucked under Rose’s favourite crochet blanket. The trees around them rustle in the cold evening breeze. Ray closes his eyes.

[yazthebookish]

“I eased into my seat and found my place in the book, my face warming as I glanced at the illustrations scattered throughout. A children’s book, and yet I could scarcely make it through its twenty pages or so. Why did Tamlin have children’s books in his library? Were they from his own childhood, or in anticipation of children to come?” (ACOTAR, pg. 116)

I just recalled this moment and had to find the quote. Do you recall if this was ever addressed again?

I remember Feyre sensing “two pairs of light, quick feet” and then: “The shimmering in the corner of my eye grew larger, separating in two small figures no taller than my waist.” (pg. 75-76) She seemed to rule out the possibility of them being Alis’s nephews on pg. 139 when Alis confirmed they didn’t live there.

I’m wondering if those figures (I’m assuming they are children, or childlike) could have been connected to the children’s books, or they simply to reference the fact that other faeries are usually in the Court before she realizes that she’s glamoured (I think?) from seeing everyone when she’s outside. For example, similarly to when Feyre also swore that she saw “four shining female heads poking up from the bright water” (pg. 123) of a pond within the Spring Court.

Either way, I am completely blanking on if there was an explanation for Tamlin having children’s books? I doubt Tamlin, Lucien, or even Andras, could be Gwyn’s father, (I personally have thought her grandparents would be of more importance once revealed) though my mind started wondering if someone in the Spring Court had children (either long ago, presently had children, or hoped for them)….Am I overthinking? Possibly, especially if SJM initially didn’t plan to have so many books in the series at that point. But would love your thoughts too!

SJM didn't plan to write the spin off trilogy until while she was writing ACOMAF, so she might not have planted things this early on or atleast not in book 1.

But it's interesting I don't remember that.

Those heads poking out of the water are the water wraiths. Five live there.

It might be his childhood books. I still don't think Gwyn is related to Tamlin. Gwyn and Catrin grew up on Sangravah all their lives and their father never showed up. I doubt he even knew their mother was pregnant. Also, the Fae would know of a High Lord did the deed with a female, for Tamlin there are witnesses.