#I am taking an educational break
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injury recovery…
*break an arm or two out there kids!*
#welcome back to another episode of cae breaking Dazai Osamu ft Nakahara Chuuya#no but imagine Dazai trolling and being a brat just to piss Chuuya off#but then when he realized that Chuuya is actually taking care of him he starts to mentally shut down#anyways I just want more skk taking care of each other#maybe in next week’s episode we will have—*gets shot*#blushing dazai is my favorite comfort#Chuuya taking care of dazai is also my favorite food#Im betting that dazai informally helped shaped chuuya’s education tho djdhchnd#i said what I said dazai fell first but Chuuya had mother hen instincts of worrying first#sorry if I am very unoriginal and boring at this point bc all I have to offer these days are *gestures hands* brainrots#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#skk#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#my art#sketches#rambles in the tags again oops#fluff#tooth rotting fluff#domestic teen skk !!!#sketch
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some of you have leaned so hard into your utterly empty, intellectually devoid, frivolous language that masquerades as progressive radicalism and sociological purity testing that you have fallen all the way into dehumanization and condemnation of the "other" to prove from behind your screens that you have joined the "correct side" of what is tantamount to hardline dogmatic thinking. if you suppress individual thought, compassion, open discussion, and malign the free press, you are not a progressive, you are a functional conservative in a different outfit. if you have decided that your abstract language and frothy ideals should be elevated above actual human life, and are using said language to divorce it from humanistic approaches to others and concern for their welfare, or worse, are using it to actively harass and frighten them, you are, in fact, the very enemy you claim to be fighting, and you should not be trusted, because your philosophies are built upon sand and will shift with the tides to make sure you are not affected by the damage that you do.
#clawing towards any sense of sanity here you're going to drive me to leave entirely#if you disagree with this yet again i ask you to block me unfollow me and perhaps look inwardly#start educating yourselves through more than misinformation infographics and outrage bait designed to dehumanize everyone#eta: i'm pinning this because you will not break me with your hatefulness and your rancor.#still not here and still running entirely on the queue. still not sure when/if i'm coming back#to the people participating in what i am discussing: we're done here. this is all i have to say to you.#to those who have reached out lovingly thank you. you are true blessings and lights. please take care
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how to make 19 year old boy who came of age during the pandemic and never had a real real job before now realize he needs to Chill The Fuck Out and be Less eagar about working for free holy shit he is impossible to wrangle
#moki talks#hi i got dumped with a shitload of new responsibilities at work#one of which includes trying to teach a Virgin Employee how work life.. works#today i got asked a mindfuckery question that made me go#oh oh no he doesn't even know basic labor laws must get him sat down with hr like yesterday#do you wanna know what the question was#'so if you work more than 8 hours are you like required to take a lunch??'#CHILD PLEASE#i have told him no less than SIX times now to STOP. WORKING. OFF. THE. CLOCK. jesus christ#it is a CHALLENGE when this is all in a remote environment#sigh. i am not cut out for teaching kids#lawd i am trying tho#i guess in his defense there aren't labor law posters plastered everywhere to read during breaks/downtime#as there are in the typical workplace environment#idk man he's a good kid very smart tons of initiative but i have a feeling this aint the job for him#which really sucks cause its basically his dream job but#bruh i need you to get like 3-6 months minimum of real people customer service job skills#smh i am flabbergasted he asked me about the break policy he has 0 concept of the severity of labor laws#like no wonder states are pushing for child labor again NO ONE IS EDUCATING THESE KIDS ABOUT THEIR RIGHTS. FUCK.
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Listening to a recording of a long lecture is spiritually painful to me. Having it as background noise while I draw only makes it slightly more tolerable
#besties! I am withering!!!#currently listening to a recording that is 2 hours and 40 minutes long#i wish time stopped existing#i'm going to listen to some shorter youtube videos on the lecture topic after this. those are so much more tolerable#i'm taking a break before I start listening to those videos tho because I am NOT going to be the mood for more education right after this#i am so tired of hearing about inflammation and internal bleeding and liver illnesses right now#and I'm not even done listening to this lecture#there is almost an hour and a half left#someone hire a dark web hitman to take me out
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Therapists have two genders:
Professional Asshole and
Well-meaning Incompetent
#color says shit#text post#replying to my therapist is the most frustrating thing in the world. ma'am you think you're building rapport with me?#I hate to tell you but you've been wildly unsuccessful if that's what you think you've been doing here.#stop trying to educate me about my bullshit diagnoses that I already know about from my years on the internet.#like. babygirl I'm over here trying to build up to feeling comfortable enough to talk about the six-layer trauma cake I've got going on#and you're over here showing me a diagram consisting of two concentric circles meant to convey the idea of self versus other#you're very nice and trying to be helpful but I don't want to fucking talk about the girlfriend I want to talk about the issues that matter#girlfriend is an experiment. the other shit is stuff that lives in our fucking soul. shit that made me into the weird person fragment I am#and I had to fight for an hour. therapist kept on scheduling us for half an hour. HALF A FUCKING HOUR HALF AN HOUR ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO TALK#I had to fight for it and even when she finally scheduled us for an hour she still tried to cut it short#I had to pull up the appointment confirmation to prove I had an hour allotted. like seriously what the fuck.#one of those people who had their own mental struggles and then is like “I want to become a therapist and help other people uwu”#and then is fucking useless and projects their own issues onto someone else and shoves their personal solutions onto you#like someone in r/aita projecting their own shitty relationship onto someone else. some of us are different Daryl#ugh I'm so fucking pissed and I'm not giving up the controller until I get this shit sorted out for now.#r wanted to hop back on this morning in the shower and we had a shouting match but our deal was she takes a week break so I'm keeping it#because too much shit has built up and she's been not doing so hot so I'm gonna get this mess cleaned up before I let her back on.#I bought groceries. I did laundry. I got the car repairs done. I got our bike fixed up. I showered. I did dishes. I'm going to#and I'm going to get even more done tomorrow. maybe then I'll go back to watching over her shoulder and backseat gaming but not for a while.#it feels nice though. like I get to finally stretch my arms and yawn real good.#and btw to answer the question she's always fucking asking. she's not ace in the slightest lmao. I am and the bleed over confuses her.#there. question answered so maybe she can stop asking about it.#I feel like in her push to find herself she kinda pushed me back into the corner. which... ngl that hurts a little.#oh well. you don't need to hear about our lovers' quarrel. I'm going to bed in these cozy fresh bed sheets I just put on the bed.
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God god God why do I have so much work to do all the time for everyone ouuuuugh
#my ASL professor just piled more work on me can i get a fucking break#here's the thing about the week before finals no one warns you about#all your professors try and be nice and make everything due the week before finals#so you can go home which is great!#BUT OH MY GOD??? THEN YOU HAVE TO DO LIKE 20 ASSIGNMENTS IN ONE WEEK ON TOP PF GOING TO FUCKING CLASS#stop stop stop stop giving me work to do i am already so overwhelmed and stressed that I literally forgot to go to asl and do asl work#all last week#i have 2 whole print projects to finish this week i have 2 whole education projects to finish i need to study for and take my final#for art history and i can't not study for it cause it's all brw information which is actual dog shit#i have to finish my painting and i need to do classroom overvations#i'm overwhelmed as it is leave me alone!!
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I was planning to build new desktop this fall, but seeing that the winter half year practically chains me to bed making me incapable of sitting up I took some of my savings to get a laptop so I can have it in bed for drawing, writing etc at least. And so I'll save back up the coming months and build it once spring arrives instead (hopefully component prices has gone down then too)
All that to say I can only eat my hands as I catch glimpses of dawntrail news after having been ffxiv-less since july last year. my abstinence is out the roof
#that being said i am admittedly a little bit nervous about returning now that its been so long#i played without break from 2014 til 2020 and then its been on an off between 2020 and 2022#and then since then i havent had the means to play#like on one hand i dont dare looking too much into ffxiv happenings cause my abstinence grows worse#and on the other i worry that ill feel weird coming back#because returning from past breaks have felt weird#which admittedly might be because i dont allow myself to take my time and enjoy things but rather rush to catch up#but whenever i can play im just gonna take all effort possible to not rush and potentially even do things on my own#rather than feel stressed by not slowing down others#im glad for the increased single player options tbh#at the same time the break has done me good cause i feel like im further away from making those mistakes#and having a lot to catch up with before being up to date might be good for me#finding hobbies outside ffxiv has done me good too#my relationship to it wasnt the healthiest as it was my sole lifeline during horrific and traumatic years#but now ive been able to play tons of other games again and read books and draw more and write more than ever#and done more irl things again even finishing one type of education#so honestly? i think itll be fine#i dont have to feel bad over my relationship with the game evolving into a different form#i still love it immensely and its had a profound impact on my life as a whole#both in terms of friends and creativity and also significant other#anyway that got longer and rantier and more personal than i first intended#peace signs and sparkles
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i think it should be illegal for people to have to do schoolwork in the holidays. they’re specifically there so that we DON’T have to do school. why must i do more stuff when this should be my opportunity to binge tv shows or write fics or create gifsets or just sit around doing nothing. i don’t want to do schoolwork.
#everything i said is 100% /gen#i am currently VERY PISSED at the education system#yes i know it’s my final year of high school so i have to work harder#but i have a huge amount of schoolwork scheduled for every single day#of the big six week holiday#and now i’m getting stressed because i’m falling behind on the stuff i need to do#because my body and brain are demanding that i take a break#because i have been working hard non-stop for 12 months#and it’s seriously not healthy!!!#i shouldn’t be having to do 2 assignments#plus 5 major works!!!#this is bullshit and i am going to be angry about it#anyway if i go into a mental health spiral#(which i suspect i will pretty soon)#i want everyone to know that this is the reason
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I mean, Briengr is rich. He has no use for coin, but he does understand their value and keeps all the coins he's acquired from his adventures in the cellar of his home. It's practically overflowing with septims, gems, and jewelry. So if a dear friend of his needs coins, he'll happily allow them to choose the amount they desire, or if there's bribing to be done, he'll give more than that person deserves.
"But Yaya, why doesn't he spend money like everyone else?"
Simple. Why should he go to the marketplace to buy fresh foods when he can easily grow crops or hunt for his own meat? Why should he buy potions from the local alchemist when he's already a pro at alchemy and can craft his own concoctions? Why should he purchase weapons and armor when he can prepare his own?
Briengr was raised to be self-sufficient. So long as he may live, you will NEVER catch him spending gold on anything unless he's got no other choice. That's why his cellar is nearly filled to the brim with gold...he barely uses any of it!
#➳ ❪ ooc ❫ … i am here / i am home ❞#a thief could break into his house and he wouldn't even bat an eye#he'll probably tell them to take their pick#of course that'll just take the fun out of stealing so the thieves guild knows not to rob him because it'll be boring#he's got way too much money#but after slaying alduin and settling down as a family man he passes on the money to his adopted children#funding their education and adventures#as well as ensuring that they have an inheritance for their children and their children's children
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Also just to further complicate this debate. In much of the Western U.S., a Scone is pretty much Fry Bread, Sopapillas or Beignets and is the base for a Navajo Taco. (Again called in that case called Fry Bread because that is what Indigenous Americans call it. For them it came out of their cleverness in using the particularly insufficient Government rations they received when they were forced onto barren reservation lands.)
Depending on where in the Western U.S; it is traditionally served with honey and butter, at least when the particular recipe comes from White Americans that have been in the Western U.S. for 3 generations or so, sometimes Jam. Sopapillas have their own particular way of being served, (honey, and syrup; or savory) and sometimes dramatic differences in recipes; those come from Latin America. Beignets I'll admit to knowing almost nothing about them, a part from the Princess and the Frog; usually with powdered (confectioner's) sugar.
Obviously the nearer you are to a Rez, the more likely it will be called Fry Bread. Whereas if you're in a white former frontier/pioneer land it's probably called Scones and if you're in a Latino Heavy place in the West... Sopapillas it will be. Having never made it to the American South, I can't say how common Beignets are... it's possible it's just a Former French Colony thing, I know Fry Bread also happened there... but it's possible that's partly the influence of the Reservation System.
A lot of cultural exchange happened between even Faraway Indigenous Nations because of how necessary supporting each other was in trying to keep the American Government from decimating them. (Both regular genocide and cultural genocide wise. Because the U.S. definitely are colonists in the worst kind of way and learned Imperialism as an M.O. from the Brits.) But from my understanding Fry Bread has been claimed to be from the Navajo. (But I also live in a Navajo corner of the nation... so... It's also possibly the case of Simultaneous Invention. )
But yeah, Look up California Scones or Utah Scones if you want to see those. Sopapilla to see those and Fry Bread too. Scones/Fry Bread may be square or they may be free form blobs. I learned to make them freeform but they were temporarily commercialized with SconeCutters and were square then. From my understanding Sconecutters as a restaurant is no more. You could get them with Chili Cheese, honey butter or as a subway like Sandwich from there. Now for rising base, there's some debate about whether they're traditional Scones with yeast, without yeast or with baking soda. I learned to make them with Yeast. They are always deep fried though and turned over when one side is done.
I was around 20 years old the first time I ordered a scone at a restaurant and was given something that looks like the example of the American Scone. Every other time I got Fry Bread. (And I loved Scones/Fry Bread... so plenty of ordering ;)) I'd lived in the Western U.S. my entire life at that point and was 4-5 generations (depending on the family side) there. Funnily enough I thought it must have been an English Scone. Until it kept happening at various Cafes when I traveled.
settling a debate, reblog for reach
#American Scones#Utah Scones#Fry Bread#British Biscuits#American Biscuits#British Scones#Debate#Now I ask them to describe what a Scone is before ordering it at a restaurant.#Because sometimes you want Fry Bread and sometimes you want a Pastry and sometimes you want that fruitcake like thing.#Polls#They're very very much not the same thing#Western U.S. History#Brief mention of Indigenous Genocide#Brief mention of Indigenous Cultural Genocide#The Reservation System in the U.S.#Native Sovereignty#The poor government rations were legit meant to starve out the Native Americans/Indigenous People.#But make it look like it was an act of God or accidental. The U.S. Government tried so many times to literally kill the Native Americans#Indigenous People of the U.S. so many times. And it is a testament to their amazing communities that they made it through to today.#They deserve better and you literally cannot look at any part of American History without seeing the scars left there.#And on top of it many Nations preserved their histories their languages their handicrafts and culture despite literally being killed#and tortured for any indication that they knew any of it. We stole and sold their children in attempts to take them out.#And we keep breaking our Treaties with them. We need to do better. In the Dakotas they've removed Tribal ID as acceptable ID for voting.#Which was completely purposeful. And obvious retaliation for the Pipeline Water Defenders.#(I am not Native/Indigenous and so I can't speak for all their issues nor do I know them. I've done my best to educate myself#and I will continue to share information that I do know. But the amount of history that's just ignored because it puts us in a bad light.#It's so much it's insane. And despite knowing Native People practically my whole life. I had no idea how much I didn't know 'til College.)#We talked about Native Americans/Indigenous People every single year since I started Public School. I checked out a good amount of books.#I wrongly believed I had a good grasp of how many atrocities the American Government had/was committing.
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Planet's Fucked: What Can You Do To Help? (Long Post)
Since nobody is talking about the existential threat to the climate and the environment a second Trump term/Republican government control will cause, which to me supersedes literally every other issue, I wanted to just say my two cents, and some things you can do to help. I am a conservation biologist, whose field was hit substantially by the first Trump presidency. I study wild bees, birds, and plants.
In case anyone forgot what he did last time, he gagged scientists' ability to talk about climate change, he tried zeroing budgets for agencies like the NOAA, he attempted to gut protections in the Endangered Species Act (mainly by redefining 'take' in a way that would allow corporations to destroy habitat of imperiled species with no ramifications), he tried to do the same for the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (the law that offers official protection for native non-game birds), he sought to expand oil and coal extraction from federal protected lands, he shrunk the size of multiple national preserves, HE PULLED US OUT OF THE PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT, and more.
We are at a crucial tipping point in being able to slow the pace of climate change, where we decide what emissions scenario we will operate at, with existential consequences for both the environment and people. We are also in the middle of the Sixth Mass Extinction, with the rate of species extinctions far surpassing background rates due completely to human actions. What we do now will determine the fate of the environment for hundreds or thousands of years - from our ability to grow key food crops (goodbye corn belt! I hated you anyway but), to the pressure on coastal communities that will face the brunt of sea level rise and intensifying extreme weather events, to desertification, ocean acidification, wildfires, melting permafrost (yay, outbreaks of deadly frozen viruses!), and a breaking down of ecosystems and ecosystem services due to continued habitat loss and species declines, especially insect declines. The fact that the environment is clearly a low priority issue despite the very real existential threat to so many people, is beyond my ability to understand. I do partly blame the public education system for offering no mandatory environmental science curriculum or any at all in most places. What it means is that it will take the support of everyone who does care to make any amount of difference in this steeply uphill battle.
There are not enough environmental scientists to solve these issues, not if public support is not on our side and the majority of the general public is either uninformed or actively hostile towards climate science (or any conservation science).
So what can you, my fellow Americans, do to help mitigate and minimize the inevitable damage that lay ahead?
I'm not going to tell you to recycle more or take shorter showers. I'll be honest, that stuff is a drop in the bucket. What does matter on the individual level is restoring and protecting habitat, reducing threats to at-risk species, reducing pesticide use, improving agricultural practices, and pushing for policy changes. Restoring CONNECTIVITY to our landscape - corridors of contiguous habitat - will make all the difference for wildlife to be able to survive a changing climate and continued human population expansion.
**Caveat that I work in the northeast with pollinators and birds so I cannot provide specific organizations for some topics, including climate change focused NGOs. Scientists on tumblr who specialize in other fields, please add your own recommended resources. **
We need two things: FUNDING and MANPOWER.
You may surprised to find that an insane amount of conservation work is carried out by volunteers. We don't ever have the funds to pay most of the people who want to help. If you really really care, consider going into a conservation-related field as a career. It's rewarding, passionate work.
At the national level, please support:
The Nature Conservancy
Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation
Cornell Lab of Ornithology (including eBird)
National Audubon Society
Federal Duck Stamps (you don't need to be a hunter to buy one!)
These first four work to acquire and restore critical habitat, change environmental policy, and educate the public. There is almost certainly a Nature Conservancy-owned property within driving distance of you. Xerces plays a very large role in pollinator conservation, including sustainable agriculture, native bee monitoring programs, and the Bee City/Bee Campus USA programs. The Lab of O is one of the world's leaders in bird research and conservation. Audubon focuses on bird conservation. You can get annual memberships to these organizations and receive cool swag and/or a subscription to their publications which are well worth it. You can also volunteer your time; we need thousands of volunteers to do everything from conducting wildlife surveys, invasive species removal, providing outreach programming, managing habitat/clearing trails, planting trees, you name it. Federal Duck Stamps are the major revenue for wetland conservation; hunters need to buy them to hunt waterfowl but anyone can get them to collect!
THERE ARE DEFINITELY MORE, but these are a start.
Additionally, any federal or local organizations that seek to provide support and relief to those affected by hurricanes, sea level rise, any form of coastal climate change...
At the regional level:
These are a list of topics that affect major regions of the United States. Since I do not work in most of these areas I don't feel confident recommending specific organizations, but please seek resources relating to these as they are likely major conservation issues near you.
PRAIRIE CONSERVATION & PRAIRIE POTHOLE WETLANDS
DRYING OF THE COLORADO RIVER (good overview video linked)
PROTECTION OF ESTUARIES AND SALTMARSH, ESPECIALLY IN THE DELAWARE BAY AND LONG ISLAND (and mangroves further south, everglades etc; this includes restoring LIVING SHORELINES instead of concrete storm walls; also check out the likely-soon extinction of saltmarsh sparrows)
UNDAMMING MAJOR RIVERS (not just the Colorado; restoring salmon runs, restoring historic floodplains)
NATIVE POLLINATOR DECLINES (NOT honeybees. for fuck's sake. honeybees are non-native domesticated animals. don't you DARE get honeybee hives to 'save the bees')
WILDLIFE ALONG THE SOUTHERN BORDER (support the Mission Butterfly Center!)
INVASIVE PLANT AND ANIMAL SPECIES (this is everywhere but the specifics will differ regionally, dear lord please help Hawaii)
LOSS OF WETLANDS NATIONWIDE (some states have lost over 90% of their wetlands, I'm looking at you California, Ohio, Illinois)
INDUSTRIAL AGRICULTURE, esp in the CORN BELT and CALIFORNIA - this is an issue much bigger than each of us, but we can work incrementally to promote sustainable practices and create habitat in farmland-dominated areas. Support small, local farms, especially those that use soil regenerative practices, no-till agriculture, no pesticides/Integrated Pest Management/no neonicotinoids/at least non-persistent pesticides. We need more farmers enrolling in NRCS programs to put farmland in temporary or permanent wetland easements, or to rent the land for a 30-year solar farm cycle. We've lost over 99% of our prairies to corn and soybeans. Let's not make it 100%.
INDIGENOUS LAND-BACK EFFORTS/INDIGENOUS LAND MANAGEMENT/TEK (adding this because there have been increasing efforts not just for reparations but to also allow indigenous communities to steward and manage lands either fully independently or alongside western science, and it would have great benefits for both people and the land; I know others on here could speak much more on this. Please platform indigenous voices)
HARMFUL ALGAL BLOOMS (get your neighbors to stop dumping fertilizers on their lawn next to lakes, reduce agricultural runoff)
OCEAN PLASTIC (it's not straws, it's mostly commercial fishing line/trawling equipment and microplastics)
A lot of these are interconnected. And of course not a complete list.
At the state and local level:
You probably have the most power to make change at the local level!
Support or volunteer at your local nature centers, local/state land conservancy non-profits (find out who owns&manages the preserves you like to hike at!), state fish & game dept/non-game program, local Audubon chapters (they do a LOT). Participate in a Christmas Bird Count!
Join local garden clubs, which install and maintain town plantings - encourage them to use NATIVE plants. Join a community garden!
Get your college campus or city/town certified in the Bee Campus USA/Bee City USA programs from the Xerces Society
Check out your state's official plant nursery, forest society, natural heritage program, anything that you could become a member of, get plants from, or volunteer at.
Volunteer to be part of your town's conservation commission, which makes decisions about land management and funding
Attend classes or volunteer with your land grant university's cooperative extension (including master gardener programs)
Literally any volunteer effort aimed at improving the local environment, whether that's picking up litter, pulling invasive plants, installing a local garden, planting trees in a city park, ANYTHING. make a positive change in your own sphere. learn the local issues affecting your nearby ecosystems. I guarantee some lake or river nearby is polluted
MAKE HABITAT IN YOUR COMMUNITY. Biggest thing you can do. Use plants native to your area in your yard or garden. Ditch your lawn. Don't use pesticides (including mosquito spraying, tick spraying, Roundup, etc). Don't use fertilizers that will run off into drinking water. Leave the leaves in your yard. Get your school/college to plant native gardens. Plant native trees (most trees planted in yards are not native). Remove invasive plants in your yard.
On this last point, HERE ARE EASY ONLINE RESOURCES TO FIND NATIVE PLANTS and LEARN ABOUT NATIVE GARDENING:
Xerces Society Pollinator Conservation Resource Center
Pollinator Pathway
Audubon Native Plant Finder
Homegrown National Park (and Doug Tallamy's other books)
National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder (clunky but somewhat helpful)
Heather Holm (for prairie/midwest/northeast)
MonarchGard w/ Benjamin Vogt (for prairie/midwest)
Native Plant Trust (northeast & mid-atlantic)
Grow Native Massachusetts (northeast)
Habitat Gardening in Central New York (northeast)
There are many more - I'm not familiar with resources for western states. Print books are your biggest friend. Happy to provide a list of those.
Lastly, you can help scientists monitor species using citizen science. Contribute to iNaturalist, eBird, Bumblebee Watch, or any number of more geographically or taxonomically targeted programs (for instance, our state has a butterfly census carried out by citizen volunteers).
In short? Get curious, get educated, get involved. Notice your local nature, find out how it's threatened, and find out who's working to protect it that you can help with. The health of the planet, including our resilience to climate change, is determined by small local efforts to maintain and restore habitat. That is how we survive this. When government funding won't come, when we're beat back at every turn trying to get policy changed, it comes down to each individual person creating a safe refuge for nature.
Thanks for reading this far. Please feel free to add your own credible resources and organizations.
#us election#climate change#united states election#resources#native plants#this took 3 hours to write so maybe don't let it flop? i know i write long posts. i know i follow scientists on here#that study birds and corals and other creatures#i realize i did not link sources/resources for everything. i encourage those more qualified to add things on. i need to go to work
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the thing is, when I think about graduating from my degree in 18 months time, I think of the relief of finishing high school that we felt when we realised we’d never have to do some of those subjects again. don’t get me wrong, I love what I’m studying, but the endless pile of tasks and assignments and new information I’m bombarded with and everything being on my computer and in my notebooks and doing nothing with my hands—that I could do without. at work I always struggled with the fact that I don’t have an end date—there was no end of semester when all my assignments were done, it was just another task on top of another task and up to me to manage how I fit them into my schedule and they’d often roll over the summer break too—there was no big celebration when each task was done, and I need to celebrate the satisfaction. I also need to see a time on the horizon when all of the things taking up my mental load are finished, and in an office job, you don’t have that. but with a university degree, you do.
I’ve come to realise that maybe I’m good at thinking and solving problems and shit but when it comes to basic tasks, maybe I just cant do them and maybe that’s okay. sure, there are more medications and I can work through my traumas that distract me all day when I don’t feel the drive of purpose and the promise of relief from at least one of my burdens more than I have—but in the end, it’s going to be years and years of struggling for something I may never be good at and there is no obligation associated with sunk cost. I’ve done all the studying I need to to start up a not for profit and I’ll probably work a few contract gigs in the industries I’m trained in but damn it I need an end date in every job that I work for anyone so I can know I won’t feel like this forever.
this is why any kind of non white collar job is so enthralling to me. anything that’s about helping people and you get to see the reward when it’s done and you have a happy client and money in your pocket that I can see and actually associate with the job that got done. it’s like doing the laundry, in theory at least. I know people are going to judge me. I know my universities are going to be disappointed in me. but I can make my degrees useful in my not for profit and I can also choose a life for myself that’s simpler on my brain—which is always going to be hyperactive and laser driven on altruistic causes to the point of neglecting anything else. and you know what? if I can earn money at all that’s a win. if this is what it takes to design sustainable cities properly—and I can simply reach out to people working in industries I’m training for rather than working for them forever too—while having a perspective that no one else does because who the fuck does a trade after a master’s degree—then maybe I’ve found the gap in the market or whatever you want to call it. if I have to be cold and emotionless in a job, at least I can do something where I’m in contact with the people living in communities and sustain myself off making them feel better. at least I won’t have to rein in my active hands as well as my sidetracked mind. at least maybe I can see new places every day. maybe there’s a life for me where it’s better than the suffering of the manic grind I’ve put myself through for almost two decades.
#see this is why I’m so drawn to plumbing#and I’m willing to deal with literal shit for it#I do feel like straight out of high school I was too caught up in big picture ideals of saving the world#while also attempting to do community. but now doing community for me is about the little things that keep our physical lives ticking#and it’s like. I’ve burnt off all the curiosity that had me able to write assignments in one night and study for exams#and doing tasks in an office was something I was never good at#if I had a really good working team I could maybe manage. but how many teams am I going to have to try to find that?#isn’t it more sustainable for me to give myself a break from 2 decades of education before I try to overwork my brain again?#and it took me this long to figure it out. and no one who looks at my resume is gonna get it#but the bottom line is I’m disabled in a way that’s pretty much impossible to accommodate. and I’m also really good at way too many things#so who cares if I follow a career progression or not? as long as I’m working at all it’s a win#and like I always say. I need to sustain myself to be able to survive my entire life and actually live it#every time I’ve studied it’s been like holding my breath and running a race#and you can’t do that as a job every single week with only 2 days off to do housework and have friends and rest#you need to properly rest. and so I need to find a job that feels like a leisurely stroll for my brain#then do the hard thinking stuff only when I feel like it. I’m gonna work way better that way#so my challenge is to find someone who will take me as an apprentice#personal mental health tag#neurodivergence
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it’s ok if i skip replying to a profs email bc i don’t feel like it right
#he says “can u find me journals supporting ur claim” in response to my 4 paragraph email answering ANOTHER question he asked about my take#on comp sci in healthcare etc etc it’s a very broad topic and he asked a very vague question#i woke up to his question this morning n still haven’t responded back…also another profs email about an application that i didn’t get to#submitting yet……sigh.. i think i’ll wait till tomorrow it’s cold i am in chronic pain n i haven’t watched a single movie this entire break#i think i’ll just watch a movie i don’t feel like being a motivated member of the education system or capitalism tonight
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im not booktok’s intended audience and am a hashtag hater for many reasons but jack edwards is doing something right
#to that point i think a lot of individual creators who contribute to booktok contribute in a productive way to#literature and fostering passion for it and helping the masses find the interest to improve their own#critical thinking skills but the hive mind of it all does 10x as much damage as the good#but regardless jack edwards taking his education and his love of literature and speaking booktok’s language while being critical and#uniquely funny and finding a new way to make a living off of a literature degree is compelling#very genuinely he’s an inspiration to me career wise#and i want his bookcase sososososo bad not only the shelves themselves but his collection as well#forgot he existed for awhile but we’re so back#which is to say in an unforeseen incident i finished reading all the books i had set aside for winter break and winter break has not even#started yet so i am looking for recommendations and i trust his
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College really is out to get me
I have two exams to do over the weekend, 3 projects from the same class, 3-4 assignments plus a quiz from another class, and idk how many courses of math homework that doesn’t even get mentioned in my stats class and it’s fuckin break
It’s really not a break it’s basically a fucking relocation back home to do the same shit as always and have the audacity to say “have a restful happy break”
#I am done#education is NOT worth this#I have gone under so much stress I’m sure it’s the reason for my hair loss#I literally had the most exhausting day driving all over fucking Texas to do one thing I like and I can’t even sleep bc I remembered#an exam was due TONIGHT#and even then when I was desperately scrambling to study I was falling asleep bc I’m so drained#and I had to pack so much shit to take home and I’m already stressed why does this have to happen on top of everything#i just want a real fcking break pls I’m mentally done#sketchy screams
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he's married ?! nanami kento.
sum. he's easily the top most handsome guy within his job. his relationship status is unknown, so what happens when his co-workers ship him with a female worker?
nanami is well known within his company. tall, insanely fit, and an attractive voice. it's not uncommon for men and women alike to find themselves thinking about him often. what's not common is knowing about his love life. no one knows anything and he would've kept it that way. but when push comes to shove, and you're shipped with someone who's not your beloved, nanami will make it known that he's not only taken but married.
in the coffee-break room there are three guys. now, there's nothing unusual about this — no, no. they're just three guys that are co-workers... except there's a twist. they aren't your regular co-workers, they're your uncommon trio of male gossipers and nanami just so happened to be their newest victim.
"shh, shh! he's here," guy one, tichi, whispers to the others, raising his eyebrows and pointing his chin to nanami's position.
the other two take a quick glance, nodding their heads when they've seen nanami's back faced towards them. it's a perfect moment to strike up a conversation, especially since it's just four men here.
guy two, tacho, shuffles his feet to the empty space near nanami. he pretends to open a sugar packet, fiddling with it as his eyes peep over nanami's shoulder. his heart skips multiple beats when the man himself turns around.
"morning to you, tacho," nanami greets, nodding his head before he turns his attention back to his cup of coffee.
"y-yeah, morning!" he stutters, awkwardly smiling in return. he turns his head to the other two in the background, mouthing the word 'help' to them. unfortunately, they do not give the aid to their friend. instead, tichi fakes a series of coughs and guy three, toeny, gives him a confident double thumbs up. there's no hope, tacho sighs.
it's a silent moment between the men — only the sounds of coffee brewing and a spoon coming into contact with the mug can be heard. tacho's mouth itches him, he happened to remember his group's recent conversation about nanami. he must ask — even if it costs him a mutual co-worker.
"so, nanami," he begins, waiting for nanami to give him the undivided attention.
nanami doesn't face him, but he hums in response. tacho doesn't mind this as an answer, so he continues, "i was wondering if the rumors of you being with the new worker, yeri, are true?"
there is one big lie in that question: there are no such rumors. it's just a theory the trio has been gossiping about every night. nanami's been helping out yeri for quite some time, one can only think that they have a special connection going on.
"that is bullshit," nanami gives a firm answer. nothing more, nothing less.
tacho's stunned, he blinks a few times to recollect himself. "oh — so you're not with her?"
nanami doesn't answer yet, but the two in the back give their unwanted reactions. tichi clicks his tongue three times, shaking his head in disappointment at tacho's second question. it's obvious dumbass, he thinks. toeny, on the other hand, presses his lips in a thin line, pretending to read a magazine that's been on the counter.
nanami reaches into his pocket, whipping out his phone. the trio's confused until nanami speaks.
"i am married man. this is my wife," he educates, pressing the power button to show you as his lockscreen.
he collects three gasps, internally nodding at their shock. that's right, i'm gladly taken.
"all this time you've been... MARRIED?!" tacho's voice heightens, he drops his spoon in shock. it's unbelievable yet somewhat believable.
nanami breathes out a 'yes', raising his arm to show the wristwatch. "she bought this for our five-years anniversary recently. it's quite expensive, going over four-thousand," he brags, emphasizing on key words.
he's been waiting for the precious day where someone indirectly asks for his relationship status. the day has come and he will spend it bragging about his beloved.
nanami doesn't give them a chance to speak, he carries on with his bragging, "she's a very lovely woman. all my bentos are made by her and she writes little notes for each. some may think it's childish but that's bullshit! they just haven't experienced the love of a woman. matter of fact, her most beautiful moments are when she's freshly awake. the smile she gives me is nothing but angelic."
his speech doesn't stop there, but it did for the trio. his words went in one ear and out the next. nanami's blabbering about his wife immediately set a blank face upon tichi, tacho, and toeny. they're jealous and also surprised.
"the way a woman can change a man will never not be amazing," toeny whispers, blankly gazing at nanami's ongoing speech.
#. ae-generated: jujutsu kaisen#tic tac toe ( tichi tacho toeny )#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk drabbles#jjk x fem!reader#nanami x you
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