#which admittedly might be because i dont allow myself to take my time and enjoy things but rather rush to catch up

[nabaath-areng]

I was planning to build new desktop this fall, but seeing that the winter half year practically chains me to bed making me incapable of sitting up I took some of my savings to get a laptop so I can have it in bed for drawing, writing etc at least. And so I'll save back up the coming months and build it once spring arrives instead (hopefully component prices has gone down then too)

All that to say I can only eat my hands as I catch glimpses of dawntrail news after having been ffxiv-less since july last year. my abstinence is out the roof

[lovemesomesurveys]

Name:  Stephanie.

Country: USA.

Age:  31.

Gender(s): Female

Height:  ~5′4

weight:  70-something lbs.

eye color: Brown.

skin color:  White.

Heritage: I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry dna or 23 and me tests to find out exactly what I am. Relationship status:  Single.

Are you physically healthy?  No.

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?:  No job.

school:  I graduated college back in 2015.

Favs:

Animal:  Dogs and giraffes.

Flower:  I don’t really have one.

Movie:  I have many favorites.

TV show: I have many favorites.

Music:  I like variety.

Band:  One of them will always be Linkin Park.

Video Game: Mario Bros games and Animal Crossing: New Horizon

Gaming Console: Nintendo Switch.

Name:  Alexander. ;)

Person:  My family.

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope.

2: Do you love them? 

3: Are you still in love with an ex? No.

4: How many people have you dated?  Two.

5: Do you think you’ll get married?  No.

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship?  No.

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? I’m single, but no I don’t think I have in the past. But if I didn’t know it then I wouldn’t know?

8: Whats important to you in a relationship?  Communication, trust, understanding, patience.

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them)? I’m singleeee. 

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I personally don’t think so.

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have?  Zero.

2: What type of friend are you?  Not a good one anymore.

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah. My former best friend and I were friends for almost 15 years.

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none?  One, my mom. 

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why?  Yes.

6: Do you get along with family?  Yes.

7: Do you have a family member you hate?  No.

8: Does your family accept who you are?  Yes.

9: Are you an only child or have siblings?  I have 2 brothers. 

10: Do you have parents that still live together? Yes.

School:

1:What grade are you in? I’m not.

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)?  Neither, like I said I graduated college back in 2015.

3: Whats your favorite class?  English was always my favorite. In college I enjoyed most of my psych classes.

4: Do you have a fav school year?  Elementary school years.

5: Are you a good student?  I was, yeah.

6: Do you think homework is good or bad?  I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad. I mean, I get seeing if you’re understanding then material and whatnot and applying it. I guess it depends on the amount assigned and what type of assignment it is. 

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills?  Yes.

8: Is your GPA high or low?  It was high.

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener?  I was definitely a listener. I haaaaated classes that made class discussion apart of your grade.

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs)? I was in clubs in high school and the psych club in college, even serving as a board member.

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight?  I definitely need to put on some weight.

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1)  No. I remember being scared about getting it and that whole thing wasn’t even on the level of covid. 

3: Do you like to go to the doctors?  Nooo. I’ve had more than my share of doctor appointments of all different kinds all throughout my life. They still make me anxious and stressed out, they’re definitely not something I find enjoyable.

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work?  I remember getting sick once in kindergarten and having to rush outside to the trash can.

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yes, I’ve experienced that several times.

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate actually doing it, but afterwards I usually do feel better. There are times where it gets to the point where I wish I would just do it already and get it over with cause I know it’d help me feel better. That’s when I’m really not feeling well.

7: Have you ever coughed up blood?  No.

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yes.

9: Do you lie to your doctor?  I downplay some things or not share certain things, admittedly. :X

10: Have you ever taken too much advils?  No. That would make me sick.

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness?  Yes.

2: Do you take anti-depressants? No.

3: Are you mentally stable?  Uhhh.

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? Yes.

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe.

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? I don’t see an issue with researching yourself and thinking you may have something, but it’s important to take that information to a doctor. However, sadly I know that not everyone is able to do that. And I also have a problem with doing that myself, which I think can cause unnecessary stress. I also think people tend to throw around labels and say they have something when they don’t. Gah, it’s a slippery slope.

7: Should we give more money to mental health research?  Yes, absolutely.

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders?  I think many can learn to better manage some of them, but I feel like they’re always going to be there. 

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders)? I don’t know and I’m probably horrible for saying that. I have my mental disorders and I know it can be a lot for people to be around and handle. I just... I don’t know if I’d be able to be there for them in a way they might need ya know? I lack the experience. I can’t say no for certain. I think it would just really depend on the situation and if I learned more about it. 

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yes.

SEX

1: Virgin?  Yes.

2: what age did you lose it? 3: Did you take sex ed? 6th grade, middle school, and a health and psych class my freshman year in high school.

4: Does size matter?

5: Whats your favorite poistions?

6: Does virginity exist? I believe so. I know some feel it’s not a real thing or a social construct, but to me it’s a thing. It’s someone who hasn’t had sex. When you have sex, you’re said to have lost your virginity and to me that just means in the very literal sense that you’re not a virgin anymore. I’m not referring to it as something deeper. Although, it can be for some people. And while I don’t think it’s like losing some part of yourself or something life altering, I personally feel like I would feel a change in some way. I also want to add that it’s something I want “lose” or share with someone special. I don’t know, man. I’m sure I’m not explaining it well. It’s just a personal thing.

7: Do you think sex is overated?  I wouldn’t know.

8: Is making love and fucking different? One just sounds more romantic and slow and passionate and the other sounds rough lol 9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies?  Yeah.

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? If it’s not consensual or your choice then you can choose not to count it is how I see it. Like yes, technically they’ve had sex, but something so horrific and traumatic doesn’t count. Losing their virginity should be done their way, with someone they want to share that with. In the situation they were raped, they’re allowed to take their power and control back and count it when they do so with someone they want to do, consensually. 

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde [x]Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color <<< It’s a mix of my natural color and red because I haven’t dyed it since February.

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [] Average [x]Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : [x]Hair []Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these.  <<< Italicized because I only like my hair when it’s been dyed and my roots aren’t showing haha... unlike now.

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes [xx]smile [x]teeth [x]skin [x] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large [x]Ugly []Pretty

8: I have a hard time: []Finding something to wear [x]Making Friends [x] making food [x]staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed []Looking for a job

10: I love: []the moon []the sun [x]the stars []our galaxy []planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

[mateov1rtuoso-blog]

No, this isn't what they

No, this isn't what they want to do forever. Granted, there might be some cam models who want to do this for life, but she says that's not the case for her. She finished her degree while being a cam girl and was also accepted into grad school. Camming helped her pay her bills so she didn't need to take out a loan, but she says "I realise [sic] I wont be in my twenties forever. I'll need to work a 'real' job. And I will :) Wearing clothes.Domino has it pretty good — an American with ample property and a cushy career based on sex she enjoys. Not everyone is Domino.If you've looked at porn online (which we pretty much all have), you've likely been propositioned by advertisements for cam girl networks. They invade your peripheral vision; they pop up behind your window. The women wait for you to start staring, and, just when you're interested, they hit you up for money. You've seen them sitting at their keyboards, wearing barely anything, winking at you, typing to nobody in particular with thin, lethargic arms: bored and conventionally beautiful. The ads, with flirty video that might be live or recorded years ago, shout at you with promises of "Live Sex Chat" and "Sex Shows", with both amateurs and "pornstars" alike. It's a web red light district, and unlike some gaudy Dutch strip or seedy sidewalk, you're completely anonymous. The sex comes to you.One thing that I admittedly dont have control over, proven by the phone conversation that spurred me to write this piece, is the judgment that others will cast on my when they know that I do for money. Even those who know that as well as dancing, I am a student and hold a day job in retail. Its a shame that women are continuously told not to express themselves for fear of judgment and labeling. Why are we told that there are good girls and there are whores? In my life, I want to embrace every aspect that comes with being a woman. I want to be sexy and intelligent. I want to be passionate and headstrong but I want others to know that I feel too.

To this end, Studio 20 employs trainers, a psychologist and an English teacher. Most of the clients are North American and European, so it is essential the models can communicate with them.Today, things are different. After saving money and learning enough savvy to avoid continued exploitation, Anna is done with money-sucking studios, and so she works only about five days a month, from her own home. Five days of camming per month allow her to match the Romanian per capita income of roughly $US12,000 per year with a minuscule fraction of the labour. If she wants more money, she works more days.Even so, it’s clear that Ona Artist really likes her job. People get into sex work for various reasons, but I think that what’s left out of the conversation around sex work a lot of the time is that some girls get into sex work autonomously because they want to, because they enjoy it, and because the money is good. Ona Artist got into camming because a photo of her butt went viral and she realized she could capitalize off of it.I get a mixture of emotions. Mostly people react positively because of the way I speak about it. It's so different if you're really shy and timid and quiet about it. It immediately gives off this idea of ‘oh they're not completely ok with it.' But if anyone ever asks me, I'd be like ‘fuck yeah I webcam, I love it!' I get to mess around at home all day and I get to be as open and as genuine to myself as I can possibly be, and there's a lot of people who aren't ok with that because I'm into some very unusual things myself. I don't have to hide and pretend that I'm someone else; I can really be my true self.

This comes off as somewhere between cynicism and naive denial, but the fact that she knows of any girls at all who've raped and beaten suggests that it is, at the very least, a real occupational hazard.The massive LiveJasmin would have you believe it's owned by "Gestao e Investimentos, Lda", a company based in an autonomous region of Portugal — and has a host of fraud complaints lodged against one of its subsidiaries. But a recent tax bust against LiveJasmin's Hungarian CEO Gattyán György — one of the richest men in Hungary — and his corporation, Dolcer Holdings, shows just how muddled the corporate picture is. No doubt deliberately.Not all models work from a studio. Sandy Bell - a graduate with two university degrees - is one of a small army of women who webcam from home. She makes about 100 euros (£90) a day when she goes online to supplement her income as an interior designer. One advantage of being independent - and dealing directly with a web-hosting company - is that she earns a larger percentage of members' fees.Model, producer and co-creator of YouTube channel ComeCurious, Reed is essentially the physical embodiment of sex positivity, which she defines as trying to make people feel like what theyre doing and what theyre into isnt wrong, its normal and its absolutely fine. Shes a huge advocate for removing stigma and taboos around sex, and we caught up with her to learn more about webcamming, a line of sex work that is seldom talked about.

CONTINUED BELOW...

[weareearth-blog]

Camming has become

Camming has become a huge part of the sex industry over the past decade, and it’s continuing to grow. There’s a lot of cam girls who now monetize and advertise through social media, so they're kind of the new "it girls" in a way—they’re rock stars, they’re influencers. Some of them have millions of followers on Instagram."Not your average female. I'm the fabled nerdy, intelligent woman who plays video games, loves all types of movies and music, books, and other women. I'm hyper, I have a dry, dark, sarcastic sense of humour, and I quote movies. A lot. Imagine Wednesday Addams, Daria, Liz Lemon and Darlene Connor having an orgy. I'm the result.I choose who I perform for, when I will perform and for how long it will last. I choose how I perform. When I dance, I feel like I have found liberation in the free expression of my sexuality, in a world that usually tells me to be ashamed of my body. And it is true, I do feel a curious kind of control over those who watch me, a feeling that is so far removed from the usual feeling of my body being controlled by men in my everyday life. I have felt more objectified being a waitress where I politely and quietly serve the needs of men than I do as a stripper.Working an eight-hour day, she earns close to 4,000 euros (£3,600) per month - nearly 10 times the Romanian average wage. As Lana's employer, Studio 20 also makes 4,000 euros per month from her online sessions. And at the top of the video chat money-making pyramid, LiveJasmin - the online cam site that streams Studio 20's content and is responsible for collecting payment from the credit cards of clients - takes double that: 8,000 euros.

Are there misconceptions about webcamming that you want to bust?But if you don't have this luxury — like a lot of girls across the world — you'll likely work for a "studio". That's basically a euphemism for another person's computer (probably a man), in front of which you'll perform on a tight schedule. You're still working through, say, MyFreeCams, but instead of only giving MFC a cut of your take, the studio owner takes a piece as well. Often a large one. If you don't stick to your mandatory hours, you'll be fired. You'll also be potentially living with strangers in conditions beneath the grimiest motel.One thing that I admittedly dont have control over, proven by the phone conversation that spurred me to write this piece, is the judgment that others will cast on my when they know that I do for money. Even those who know that as well as dancing, I am a student and hold a day job in retail. Its a shame that women are continuously told not to express themselves for fear of judgment and labeling. Why are we told that there are good girls and there are whores? In my life, I want to embrace every aspect that comes with being a woman. I want to be sexy and intelligent. I want to be passionate and headstrong but I want others to know that I feel too.That wasn't always the case. Before she started stripping — both online and off — Domino was a suit: working at a Fortune 500 company as a graphic designer. She quit the firm out of boredom in 2010, and now mainly flexes her aesthetic skills to push her online sex shows. Unlike most cam girls, Domino isn't affiliated with a network like LiveJasmin. She's completely independent, streaming strip and fetish sex shows from her home studio, straight from a website she built herself. Stripping at a local joint came first, but after breaking her wrist, Domino segued away from brick and mortar clubs. She'd heard there was good money to be made doing pretty much the same stuff online — and she could be her own boss.

It took six years to reach this life of dilettantism and occasional sex work. Anna wasn't always free. She started camming when she moved from her backwater Romanian hometown to attend college in Bucharest for a degree in psychology. When she relocated, she knew no one and had no money. But, like Domino, heard things about the lucrative streaming flesh trade — a recommendation from a male friend who convinced her to strip from his cramped two-room apartment as he did the same in the other room.When it gets weird, it gets really weird. Unsurprisingly, she says she's been asked to do to a ton of weird things including: "I spanked my ass with a spatula" and "I've recited Shakespeare while fingering myself. Fortunately, she views those moments as "funny awkward. Plus, she says she refuses to do things all the time and only does what she feels comfortable with. If anything, she says the job made her realize "the importance of boundaries, expressing what you like, and really allowing yourself to feel comfortable and free to enjoy sex.Entirely unsurprisingly, it's impossible to get in touch with any of the people who actually run these networks. None of the above entities from LiveJasmin, Streamate, or MyFreeCams responded to efforts to confirm that they do indeed exist and have some affiliation with the websites in question. All that's available is a semi-robotic technical support chat, which fields basic questions about how to use the site and credit card processing. These web cam kingpins might as well not exist. We don't know where the money goes.But I have all these questions about camming. Why is camming so popular? Is camming the future of porn? Do people prefer it mostly because it’s so much more personal? CONTINUED BELOW...

[ririthedevil]

Thanks so much for taking the time to answer!! I asked this because I am a Jewish student and I have real concerns about the institutionalised anti semitism in the Labour party in recent years. A lot of people say that labour isnt racist because they don't acknowledge anti semitism as racism and i feel that is part of the problem. I am against everything the torries stand for and ideology wise i would probably be more labour, but the anti semitism really worries me. And of course theres a..

No need to say thank you! I always enjoy looking at different view points, especially as a minority myself who knows parties are a really difficult thing to handle. I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to copy and paste your others asks below as I know they continue from one another as you said! So to my followers who are following this conversation, this next paragraph in italics continues from this particular anon ask, and was asked by the anon separately due to the ask box word count limitation! 

…difference between the criticism of israel and anti semitism; one is a political stance and one is just pure racism, but a lot of anti israel criticism stems from deep rooted anti semitism. And while i agree that a few anti semites dont define the party, i still worry about how often these things tend to happen in it. As a whole, the Jewish community is quite liberal; the more religious groups might be more conservative but that a different thing, which is why it is so hard today for us. So since I personally don’t have day to day contact with people outside my community i wanted to ask what other people thought. Because, if we take the us, trump has been admittedly more vulgar, but he is being crucified for being islamophobic while labour leaders seem to keep getting away with anti semitism (in no way am I defending trump - he is a biggot that never shouldve been elected). One last thing - i feel that people think that because labour are not generally racist against skin colour people dont take the anti semitic claims seriously. Sorry for the long messages x By the way if you mind me asking, were abouts in the UK are you from? 

Firstly, I agree that anti Israel sentiments can be due to deeply rooted anti-semitism - just as often stereotypes can be intrinsically rooted in racist ideals. But I feel we also have to understand that, as you said, while a lot of these criticisms come from discriminative backgrounds, there is also some criticisms that are not just politically based, but humanity based. I feel Corbyn in this instance (I am excluding Livingstone because he is an all out anti-Semitic in my book) has the well-being of Palestinians well and truly within his mind - but ofc I cannot prove that. He counter acts Israel not because of the Jewish community, but because of the atrocities taking place under their watch (with help from others of course). I know I keep trying to defend myself with the ‘but I don’t know what he really means’, but that’s because I truly don’t. I don’t know the inner workings of his mind - and he doesn’t help himself by not being more specific in order for us to understand. I also feel like I’m putting words in his mouth so forgive me for that, but this is what I think is the case (I could be completely wrong). 

I think I understand what you mean in terms of the liberal but religiously conservative ideals. I guess for me as an Indian girl I think my community is more conservative in all aspects (except the generation which I am a part of). I would argue however with your argument about Trump, that his attacks have been much more individualistic based (on his personality and what he says) rather than Republicans (as of late) while I feel the anti-Semitism is more on the Labour party as a whole. I also feel Trump has been much more engaged with such discrimination within his policy making (i.e. the Travel Ban) while Labour have not done anything to insight such anti-Semitism within their policy - not to say the institution is not flawed. I think attacking an individual compared to an institution are very different things - and I don’t believe in this ‘one person to represent the many’ sometimes because we’re all just so bloody different surely that would be difficult? I mean that’s the point of having other people behind a leader - to also steer them and give them different view points. I also put in bold one thing you said, and I hope other people who see this also can give their two cents that way you get more views! It is worrying like you said it happens really often, but I do think as well there is a rhetoric of anti-Israel rather than the Jewish community in Labour’s current state, but of course you may view that different from your position which is completely fair! But I guess that is also a worrying case as well! 

In concerns with your second to last point on skin colour being seen as racist but anti semitism not being taken seriously, I shouted in my house ‘helllll yeahhhhhhhh’ because you are so right! Discrimination is only thought of within two spades of the mainstream thought - sexism and racism. We know however, there is much more to this, religion, disability, sexuality, age etc. The list goes on - and while I feel sexuality is taken more seriously these days, I feel like religion still isn’t. Yes islamophobia is a hot topic (rightly so), but there are other religions too which face discrimination. 

I actually asked my Jewish friend this question in a different way, as she is British and voted within this election. She practices Judaism almost to a T - she has such a huge love for her religion (she is a very active member of the Jewish society at my University). I know for a fact she voted Labour, and I asked why (like u asked me anon) the anti-Semitism behind the party and it’s history did not effect her vote and she said this:

Oh! Well I chose it because I always have! They still have a lot of the things I want in a leadership […] I believe in him [Corbyn] tbh. May is just going to allow more hate into this country with the way she is […] I think Jeremy is an individual against his whole party. Remember he was was in such a low point last year, where everyone was basically conspiring against him? It made me remember that parties are meant to be one entity but they really aren’t - there are so many individuals a part of that one party - like a community. But they are all individuals who have slightly different values but i guess with Corbyn he had some ideas really different to the rest of them for them to collapse so much […] Thing is yes he doesn’t speak for me as a Jewish girl, but he does speak for me as a student living in a country which is gonna get into some deep stuff soon, and I know as a student about to graduate he will speak for me. That’s why I voted him. 

I think she makes a really good point - basically saying we are all different people within one person. We all have different identities - like I’m a brown, Indian girl who is the child of two expelled migrants. But I am also a really British student who loves geography and wants to work in media. My friend just happens to take into concern one half of herself more than the other with this vote - she’s voting for her future. I also think the party’s Jewish members would not stand for this if the party was so intrinsically encased with anti-Semitism - or would definitely call it out at least. It is like you said, worrying that it is happening so much and I just hope those Jewish members if they get their seats are strong enough to call those attitudes out of the party. I don’t know - maybe I just sound really in denial to you and I’m sorry for that! 

Sorry that went off topic slightly but I felt her view point was just as important as mine. 

And regarding your last question, I won’t say where I’m currently based in the UK but I did my postal vote in regards to my ‘home’ borough in London. Also sorry if I’m not making sense! It’s 1:30am rn and I’m sooooo tired but I’ll make sure to look at this properly when I wake up and make sure I have answered all your questions!! Also don’t apologise for the long questions!