#I am sorry to anybody who has read this; normally I keep this blog kind of light-hearted and diluted | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wri0thesley · 4 years ago

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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purplellamanator · 4 years ago

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Hello 👋 I was tagged by @fanarain 💜 thanks for the tag!

1. Why did you choose your url?

Honestly? I’m terrible at making usernames. Like horrendous. I’m always lost as to what to make it. So I made it in a split decision based off things I was thinking about or doing that day. My favorite color is purple, I had an inside joke with a friend about llamas, and at the time was watching terminator 2 judgement day. So I combined it all. 😂

2. Any side blogs? If you have any, name them!

This is actually my side blog. @the-iron-tator is my main but I don’t do much on or with it! I probably honestly should’ve made side blogs for my different fandoms cause I know people only follow me for certain things, but it’s too much to keep up for me 🤷‍♀️

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I honestly have no idea. If there’s a way to figure that out, I’m not sure how 😂 it’s been awhile tho. I wanna say I had this side blog since the beginning of 2019 cause I made it specifically to post my fanfic. But I had the main for way longer I think.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t think so 😬

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

So I started this side blog specifically so I could write and post my fanfic without shame. Also so that it could be a feed for all the fanfic I found and loved reading on here. Another reason why I never made another side blog. Cause I wanted all my fandom stuff on one page for me.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Because The Little Mermaid has been and will always be my favorite Disney movie.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I really have no actual answer for this 😂 I was making the side blog and realized I needed one and so that’s what was on my camera roll for some reason 😅 and it made me nostalgic for when I was younger 😂

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I actually have no clue. I know someone mentioned a way to figure this out but I can’t remember. I’m pretty sure it’s some drabble I posted on here for asks! Maybe the Wild West one for shinran?

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I think quite a few! We all pop in and go sometimes! I’d like to think quite a bit of em!

10. How many followers do you have?

So this side blog has 228! May not look like much for some but that’s a lot to me and I’m surprised but extremely thankful that people take the time to look at my page 😊

11. How many people do you follow?

194!! I think some of the accounts are probably dead by now but oh well! If you have even just some of my interests, I will probably follow and spam with reblog a and stuff 😂 yes I’m one of those

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

No? I don’t think so. . .

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

A LOT. Too much to put an honest time on 😂

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog before? If so, who won?

Nope. Don’t like fights. This is a place of fandom. I try to keep that out.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

So honestly, they are a bit annoying. I actually won’t do some of them for that reason unless it’s a cause or reason I strongly agree with. Which isn’t normally the case. Or rather, this is a fandom blog. No one wants to see that clogging up the page when all you wanna do is reason some fanfic or look at some fanart. I like to keep that kind of stuff off. Also cause sometimes people don’t agree with you. But I never liked that. That if you don’t ‘reblog a post’ your an ass or something. Like no. If anything, that steers people away from what you want. Or similar to the posts where they are like, don’t even talk to me if you like x,y, or z. Like okay 🤷‍♀️ that doesn’t hurt anybody but you. 😂 sometimes, even if I agree that I don’t like x, y, or z, I’ll unfollow or stay away because that just gives a certain attitude that I don’t vibe with. Just like I’m sure there are people that don’t vibe well with me 🤷‍♀️

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! They are fun and even if no one reads your response, it’s nice to get thoughts out sometimes!

17. Do you like ask games?

Let’s just be clear and say that I like games in general 😂

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

All of them! I think they are all popular in their own way! I probably wouldn’t of found them otherwise!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Negative

Sorry! I am still working and on break! Can’t tag anyone but if you see this and wanna join, feel free to do so and tag me so I can see 👀

#ask #tags #tag game

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coindraws · 5 years ago

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bruh

Sorry for being so negative these last few weeks (if anyone reads my tags it shows…) but idk, this is my blog, so I do what I want. Anyway, this is just a very long vent post and I’ll put it under a cut anyway if anybody wants to read it.

Okay, so I moved to France almost exactly four weeks ago and ever since then it’s been nothing but problems. I chose this bachelor degree very well knowing that I’d move to another country and that’s also what I wanted! Which is great, I always wanted to spend some time of my university experience in a foreign country and especially in France if there was a possibility to do so.

Since I’m the very first German to join this programme, I’m kind of the guinea pig for everything but I knew that beforehand as well. I think I’m more of a guinea pig for the German side, though since for my university in Germany it’s their first time offering a programme like this. To quickly explain, you start in your home country and then move to the foreign country for a while until you return and then receive your diploma of two universities. Sounds neat and all if things actually worked but they don’t really as it turns out…

Anyway, I thought everything would’ve been cleared up - or at least most of the things - before my arrival but that wasn’t the case. I got zero information on how this whole system works here and it’s very different than in Germany + there’s the obvious language barrier that I have. That’s not surprising, most things get solved within the first two weeks or so but the person who’s supposed to be my contact person is known for not answering very fast and sorting things out and that’s basically what my first four weeks have been so far; trying to navigate everything in a foreign country, a foreign language and solving organizational things which for some reason are left to myself.

Basically, I get told that people are going to do it for me and talk to others to get things going but then they just don’t and I’m faced with not knowing what to do since I won’t receive any answers to my mails. (Also when somebody tells you that you’re able to visit them on a certain day of the week for 15 minutes it’s kind of saying a lot on how much time they have for you… Nevermind that I don’t even have time on that day but in their defense I forgot to mention that, since that conversation only lasted 5 minutes)

Getting registered at the uni here was enough of a hassle but it finally worked. Then when I thought I had my courses there’s still another problem left and since the system in France isn’t as flexible as in Germany that just creates more problems the more time goes on. So in summary, week one to three of September were spent trying to figure out my schedule + my registration and while I thought I’d finally be done with that, there’s still one thing missing and it’s currently my fourth week here.

I was prepared to face problems like the language barrier, a different university system, being on my own because I’m the only German here but I wasn’t prepared to deal with organizational stuff on my own because nobody’s really helping me. My biggest help so far have been my fellow students and my tutor but even those don’t really know how to properly help me most of the time and I’ve never heard back from my contact person about my schedule here. I understand that professors are busy and all but lending a helping hand when a new student arrives would be nice. Again, they mentioned that if I don’t hear back from them it’s usually a good sign and if I didn’t hear back until a certain day, it’d be fine but it was hard telling that to the people who handled my registration.

The problem that's left now is about an essay I have to write and I was told I should do it in the course from year three which isn’t possible anymore as I found out today. The prof can’t let me do this in his course because I’d be too much, which is understandable since he already had to reject others weeks ago and it’d be really rude to the other students if he accepted an essay from somebody who’s three weeks late. The prof who’s my contact person here told me two weeks ago that I should send him my schedule and he’d talk to his colleagues and sort things out because I couldn’t register in the first week of September before courses started since there were problems with my registration.

If I had had the information beforehand on how to do my schedule and had received my password earlier, this problem wouldn’t exist. But since nobody prepared me for that and told me, I’m now sitting here still trying to somehow solve this weeks after the semester here started and it sucks to be the one trying to do that when it isn’t really my task. Right when I thought that everything was solved, I’m faced with yet another problem and the stress just keeps going and hasn’t stopped ever since I moved here. And while I’d understand that there were so many problems with a new programme, I’m less understanding if there was a previous programme just like this one but with another different city in Germany. Same contact person here but it seems like they’re doing it for the very first time and that shouldn’t be the case at all. I’ve also learnt (and experienced for that matter) that other profs aren’t very fond of him and know what it’s like to try and sort things out but I’m not involved in that beef and yet I still kind of am without wanting to.

As I mentioned before, it only gets harder as time goes on and to be frank, I’m sick of it. I don’t know when I’ll reach the end of rope but I’m always telling myself if I absolutely can’t take it anymore I’ll return to Germany or just take a break for a year before I try again. I’m not sure if this is even a possibility but it’s driving me nuts and I don’t even think about enjoying my time here. It’s been nothing but a struggle and if I had to summarize September so far, it’s basically been a hardcore “try not to cry once a week challenge” which I’m failing miserably at this point. It’s so frustrating for me to sort all of this out while I can’t even use my native language and I’m not that familiar with the system here to begin with.

It got to the point that I can’t even have a normal conversation with a prof about organizational stuff without my voice cracking and me just wanting to start crying on the spot because I’m so frustrated and stressed. If anybody asks me on how things are, I really have to hold back as well. Sometimes I sit in the lectures and my thoughts drift off to all these unsolved problems and I have a hard time keeping my composure. Thankfully everybody here has to wear a mask at all times, so that at least can hide it somewhere but I wouldn’t be surprised if I just left a lecture because I was feeling like shit.

I’ve told my parents about my problems and today my Dad asked me if he should still order the book that I asked him to because even he was unsure if I’d continue this or not. And while I told him yes, that’s also just a testimony on how bad things are right now. It’s also cool that my contact person told me that everybody who organizes this programme is concerned about a person’s well-being and their mental health but I’m far from feeling well. I was prepared for a lot of things, as well as feeling somewhat lonely which I surprisingly don’t but I wasn’t prepared for all this organizational bullshit and not really having anybody here that can help me with it.

tl;dr I’m so tired and exhausted of everything and even if I still want to at least try and get this bachelor degree, I don’t know for how long I’ll continue trying if things aren’t solved soon.

#laber net #sorry this is really long and I don't expect anybody to read it anyway #one day I'll eventually return to art #uni

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 5 years ago

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Time for some long, unnecessary Meta. I’ve had this one in my brain for ages, but I haven’t really had an excuse to talk about it until recently. Identity isn’t a major theme in Nagito’s character (although it plays it’s part), and so, I’ve been putting this one off. Then, my good pal Ashi had to go be a literary genius and incorporate some really interesting things into their Gundham, and now I have all the excuse I need. So I’m going to be talking about him, too, to a marginally lesser extent, using aspects of the Best Gunny’s characterisation. (Seriously though, plug. I’m not even sure it’s possible to follow this blog and not know about Ashi’s Gundham, but on the off chance: @the-taboo-king.)

Under a cut for length, philosophy, and shameless, shameless Roulette.

This is the part where I say something that makes the reader’s eyes glaze over, but indulge me. No Exit is a 1944 existentialist French play by Jean-Paul Sartre. It’s about three people - Garcin, Inez and Estelle - who are all doomed to hell, except hell is just an ordinary room, and it’s really, really good. I’d highly recommend.

The characters spend much of the start of the play sitting around, waiting for Satan to show up with the hot pokers and the lube, but once the three of them are gathered in this room, nothing happens. All they can do is sit there, get to know one another, and watch the people they left behind on Earth live out the rest of their lives and move on. There’s nothing there except three chairs; nothing else for them to do. It’s explicitly mentioned that hell has no mirrors, so for instance, when Estelle wants to fix her makeup, she has to rely on Inez to tell her if it looks alright or not. The trouble is, Inez is really attracted to Estelle, so Estelle has no way of knowing if Inez is telling her the objective truth or not. Furthermore, Estelle is kind of grossed out at the thought of another woman being attracted to her, so she starts flirting with Garcin. Not because she’s especially interested in him, per se, but he is the only man there, and Estelle thrives on male attention.

Garcin doesn’t seem to want much to do with either Inez or Estelle at first, preferring to focus on watching his wife try and cope with the terrible reputation he left behind. However, eventually she, and everyone who knew him, dies or moves on. It becomes like he never existed, as it does for them all.

Garcin accepts Estelle’s advances, but it’s not her attention he wants. It’s Inez’s. She’s furious, jealous, and ready to throw some hands. Inez’s fixation remains on Estelle; Estelle’s on Garcin; and Garcin’s on Inez. Things become vicious between the three, until, at last, the door to hell opens. Garcin has the chance to leave, but he doesn’t.

The play is especially famous for the line “Hell is other people”, and directly opposes the old adage, “I think, therefore I am”. It posits that humans exist because we are seen, and therefore if we are unseen, we do not exist. At this point, Garcin has become dependent on his feud with Inez. He might be forgotten in the world, but as long as she hates him, there’s a him to hate. The absence of mirrors removes the characters’ abilities to reflect on themselves, so they can only experience themselves through one another. In that sense, their purpose here isn’t solely to be punished, but to punish one another for all eternity.

So, what does this have to do with Dangit Roomba 2, the game where everything’s made up and the deaths don’t matter? Like I said, this play has been in the back of my mind for a while when it comes to writing Komaeda, but it hasn’t been explicit enough for me to justify writing oodles about until recently. So before we talk about Nagito, let’s talk about the man, the myth, the hamster dad himself.

Identity is a major theme for Gundham. He cultivates his own very, very carefully, only breaking character here and there either to adjust himself (and comment on a “good line”), or when he’s flustered and his composure slips just a little bit. Given how much effort he puts into his words and appearance, you’d be probably correct in assuming he wants to be seen a certain way. He appears to thrive off the fear and intimidation he inspires, yet despite demanding “silence and solitude”, he seems to crave companionship, and find it best in those who can easily reconcile his demonic persona with the kind, nurturing person he is underneath, as opposed to people who try and see directly through it. He needs that persona, you see. He can’t cope with it being stripped away. I’ve spoken about Gundham’s tendency to play the bad guy even when he is, objectively, the hero, before, so I won’t belabor the point too much. But what I’m driving at here is, who he is, and how he’s seen, are too intricately linked to be separated.

If you recall, the door to hell opens and Garcin has the chance to leave, but he doesn’t.

I can think of no better example than the ideas in No Exit, and the intricacies of Gundham’s character, falling into place better than Ashi’s future verse. Which is really, really good, and a masterful take on the philosophy of identity. When Gundham shatters the mirrors and covers the reflective surfaces in his living space, he is effectively robbing himself of the ability to see himself. He’s forced into the vulnerable position of his identity being placed in the hands of others. With no way to reflect on himself - literally and symbolically - he has to take what others say to him as is. Rely on other people to cultivate his appearance and judge what he can no longer see, and therefore, alter. Coupled with his persistent, subsequent self-aggrandizing and deprecation, and he’s submitting himself to the torment of being made into the villain of this story, no matter what he does from hereon out.

You see, the world isn’t in despair anymore. He’s been given a second chance. The door to hell is open, and Gundham has the chance to leave, but he doesn’t.

Like Garcin, he becomes reliant on the fight. The constant struggle against people who will see him in the worst light possible, no matter what he does. But unlike Garcin, Inez, Estelle, or even Nagito - and we will get to Nagito - he isn’t forced into this state, for survival or for punishment. At least, not by a third party. He’s condemning himself. He’s robbing himself of the ability to improve, or to see himself improve. He doesn’t think he deserves to. He relies on others to validate who he is, because others have always let him down. Always seen him as the villain. The weird kid. The one not worth including. He’s waiting to be told, “Actually, you’re a bad person and I don’t want to be near you”. He’s waiting to be abandoned and left alone because, when there’s no one left to see him, he will, effectively, no longer exist. He’s given up on a meaningful, extraordinary death, opting to instead languish in the depths of oblivion. For someone who has grappled for years to forge an identity he can live with (again, that other meta I did on him a while back), this. This is hell.

Now that I’ve outed myself as a secret Gundham Tanaka stan blog, let’s talk about his boyfriend. Identity is less a key theme for Nagito, and more a background element to his character. So it hasn’t been something I could justify a thousand-odd words on so far. But now I have an excuse, I’m going to talk about the single most underrated ship in all of Dimple Raddish. Like I usually do. Look, there’s been a semi-recent semi-surge on popularity for Roulette in the fandom, just let me ride it out, okay? As someone who doesn’t shut up about these two, I have no idea how much of it I’m responsible for, but I am arrogant enough to take more credit than is due, so. You’re welcome, fandom.

For all the things Nagito is awkward and dumb at dealing with (see: All The Things), helping Gundham cope post-tragedy is one thing he does pretty effortlessly. Because what Gundham needs is what Nagito has in perpetuity: relentless, unyielding love. The only way Gundham will ever face himself again, is if he’s forced to believe there’s something worth facing. There is an opportunity in seeing himself as others do. He can see the good things he’s never let himself acknowledge before.

Now’s as good a time as any to say: this is not a healthy way to be. And I’m not trying to imply that the love of the right person can cure years of trauma and abuse. But you know what can help? Being treated with some basic decency and respect. And heck, even love. Gundham is not a role model, and Nagito, less so. He’s a morally ambiguous, deeply damaged young man. He can’t really be fixed. But he can be given the support he needs to heal.

This is the inevitable part in all my long metas where I lament that Nagito’s childhood was loveless, and robbed him of the ability the feel any kind of self-worth. That he’s rendered incapable of recognizing his own needs much less putting them first, as a result of them never being met. That he’s a good person who deserves a good life, and despite having been through insurmountable hell, it’s a wonder he came out the other side so, very capable of selflessness. And that it’s tragic his biggest wish in life is to just know how to feels to be loved in any way by anyone, just to have the most basic, fundamental human experience. F in chat.

Nagito has interests, and hobbies. He...reads, sometimes. He likes dogs. His luck ruins everything. But when he isn’t encouraging others to chase that One True Hope, what is he actually doing? What would he be doing if he never attended Hope’s Peak? Given how many times he’s been treated like a burden, can he ever truly feel like he’s worth something to anybody?

There’s a sense of static around him, I feel. Like when the video quality suddenly drops, and it takes you a moment to realise. Who is he, exactly? The answer is simple and sad: whoever he’s told to be. He’s spent his life being treated like his feelings are a burden and he’s useless trash, therefore he is burdensome trash. In class he is often ignored and ridiculed, so he largely keeps to himself during group activities, and whenever he says something out loud, he often scolds himself for it before anyone else can. You know, that whole, “Haha sorry, that was a bit much, guess I’m just trash” thing he does. He has to be this way. For his own survival, for whatever sanity he has left. It’s easier to be treated like garbage if you believe you deserve it.

It’s normal for people to be different around different people. But I find that to be especially true with Nagito as I play him through different relationships with different people. The more he is with Gundham, the more his nurturing, animal-loving side comes out. The more he is with Celeste, the more we see his intelligent, competitive, gentlemanly side. With Sonia, his ability to be princely and adventurous; with Chiaki, his gentle and relaxed nature, with Yuuki, or the WoH, or literally any child under his care, we experience a strong paternal side to him. He is by no means a different person, but different aspects of his personality are given more dominance over him as a whole, based on what somebody sees in him. He’s very capable of stepping up, but only when he feels someone expects him to. Otherwise he’s content to sit on his hands and watch, because he doesn’t think he deserves anything better.

Nagito will not see these things, or anything especially good, in himself until he is given permission. Until he is made to feel, by an authority higher than himself, that it’s okay. He exists as others see him. If someone he looks up to, whose opinions he values, recognises the - for lack of a better term - hope in him, he will eventually be forced to accept that it’s there himself. He might even. You know. Develop enough self-respect one day to forge a more self-actualised identity. Have the audacity to want things, and have dreams and stuff. He might even follow them. It’s a long, tiresome, non-linear process; but a worthwhile undertaking if I say so myself.

I guess the tl;dr here is that: both boys validate themselves through the eyes of other people because it’s the only way they know how. It’s not a good or healthy thing to do, but with the right kind of support, and enough time and patience, maybe next time the door to hell opens, they’ll have the courage to leave.

#( this wasn't as in-depth as i'd have liked #i could have kept going but the word count bro #so imma just leave it like this and hope i've made my point )#meta;#long post;

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lxveille · 6 years ago

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If you're still taking the time & place flash fics, maybe 3AM + In a Car with Joshua ? and apocalypse/disaster AU if you feel like it ? If you don't take them anymore it's fine tho, I'm using this opportunity to tell you that I love your writing and your one of the fics writers that inspired me to start my own blog too so thank you for your amazing work !!

title: paradigm shiftword count: ~ 2090warnings: mild physical intimacy (making out in car); some vague talk about deatha/n: apocalypse!au (death leech); also hi, i’m still writing these flash fics and your words are so so kind anon!! it’s been a while since you sent this in, so i hope you’re still out there reading & writing yourself

The car is still running. Rain falls steadily down, beating an uneven rhythm against the windshield. The details are caught only in the headlights, and from any other window the world simply looks like dark blurs caught in sheets of the downpour.

There’s only the sound of the storm and the low static of the radio. Both of you have managed to steady out what had been panicked breathing, and so panting has been taken out of the equation. At one point in time, it would have been a rarity for this highway to be so silent. You have memories of being a child in a backseat on roads much like this one, watching streams of cars rush by and listening to the blare of horns the moment anything came to a standstill. But that had been before; when people still had places to go for any reason other than survival.

Tonight had been a blur from uneasiness to fear. From suspecting to knowing it had been a mistake to trust anyone who said they could guarantee safety. You’re not sure how long the car’s been idling here. But the warehouse is hours away now, and the clock on the dashboard changes its display to read 3:00.

Your gaze moves over to the driver’s seat. Joshua is staring ahead; uncertain where to go from here. His hands still grip the wheel tightly, like he can’t quite accept that you’ve gotten far enough away to relax yet. In this lighting, it’s difficult to make out the bruises along his knuckles. You know they’re there, though. Patchy, reddened reminders of how very much things change.

(“We have to get out of here,” you’d told him breathlessly only hours before. He’d furrowed his brow and tried to understand your hurried explanation of what you’d discovered. How the small community you’d stumbled upon wasn’t the safe haven it had made itself out to be. That in its maze of rooms was one where they kept a bloodied chair and a single jar where they had somehow managed to trap one of those terrifying leeches. All their talk of being a level-headed group, looking not only to survive but to find a way to understand and one day eliminate the leeches from Earth. You should have known they’d have to have a way of experimenting. Of studying. But leeches need to feed. It was the whole reason society had fallen apart when they’d arrived.

Joshua didn’t need to see it for himself. He believed your words, or else the terrified look in your eyes. It was also probably that look that made the others decide you couldn’t just head out to ‘scavenge’ at such a late hour.

It had been only you and Joshua for a long time before the warehouse. In all that time – regardless of all the horrors that came up – you’d never seen him hit anybody before. Not until Hosung had stood between you and the car.)

“Josh,” you speak at last. It feels like you haven’t done anything but whisper or yell or breath for hours. A normal volume sounds nearly foreign. He glances to you without turning his head; still ready to move the car out of park and hit the gas in case anything changes. “I think we’re in the clear,” you tell him.

“Maybe.” He doesn’t sound like he even means an answer as tentative as that.

“They’d be here by now if they were following us.”

He lets out a sigh, and his head falls back against the seat. At least it isn’t a position that’s quite as on edge as he’d been a moment before. “We can’t spend the night out here,” he points out, closing his eyes.

“We can find somewhere better to pull over,” you agree, “But we’ve slept in cars before.”

Joshua checks the rearview mirror before looking to you in full. “You shouldn’t have snooped around there.”

That catches you off guard. It couldn’t be that he’d rather have a bed regardless of whose roof it was under. You look him over in disbelief. “They would’ve fed us to that leech eventually,” you remind him. The words are bitter on your tongue; halfway to an accusation against him, but too caught up in confusion or exhaustion to truly make one.

“They probably would’ve done that to you as soon as they caught you down there,” he answers. Joshua’s eyes don’t leave you. His gaze seems to be trying to convey something more than what he’s said. There’s a kind of fear waiting there that he’s still holding too close to his chest for you to understand entirely.

“Am I supposed to say sorry or something?” Your tone is more defensive than you feel. You aren’t really sure what you’re feeling. Moreover, you’re not quite sure what Joshua’s trying to get at. He didn’t want you to put yourself in danger. Sure – that much you could make out. But the warehouse had been a danger the whole time. To hold it against you that you had followed the bad feeling in your gut didn’t strike you as fair. If you hadn’t found out this way, the alternative way of discovering the truth surely would have been worse.

Joshua lets out another long sigh. His fingers uncurl from around the wheel and fall to his lap. “Do you remember when we met?”

The change in topic has you giving him a puzzled frown. Obviously the answer was yes. You’d both been younger, with families that still thought getting away would mean getting away from the problem. Indefinite delays had given time for the two of you to begin hesitant smalltalk. And when the screaming had started from somewhere unseen in the terminal, you hadn’t really been thinking when you’d grabbed his hand before starting to run.

In all the time since that day, Joshua had been the only constant.

“I would’ve died back then if it hadn’t been for you,” he continues, without needing you to answer his original question. His words sound more like a confession than a hypothesis.

You look out the windshield window to where faded highway paint is illuminated in the headlights. There’s a pothole already filled entirely with rainwater not far ahead. It’ll be easy enough to go around it. No one else is the road to keep him from swerving around it. “You don’t really know that for sure,” you reply.

“I’m pretty sure.” His voice beckons your gaze back to him. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

The rain and the radio seem to stop for a moment. The only thing you can hear is your mind replaying his words, and your thoughts asking in what way he means it. “You… what?” you manage.

It’s either another sigh or a kind of breathy laugh that Joshua gives off in response. Maybe a bit of both, really. “I don’t know.” It nearly sounds like he’s backtracking until he adds, “I just do.” His hand moves with hesitation towards you, and ends up stopping at the gear shift that sits between the two of you. “And I thought I might’ve lost you today.”

All you can think to say is, “You didn’t.”

He gives a quiet hum as agreement. Yet he doesn’t seem fully reassured. His mind still caught up in any number of ways things might have gone wrong. You shift in your seat and reach out one hand to find his half-outreached one. His hand twists automatically at the contact to intertwin fingers with yours as it’s done so many times before. The touch feels different this time; charged with the energy of what Joshua had just said.

“I knew,” you decide. You must have. For how long, you couldn’t quite say. But perhaps it was inevitable when you spend so long with just one person at the end of society. When you look up from your tangled hands to his face, Joshua has another question burning in his eyes. You can read it from the way sight flits over the details of your expression, lingering for torn moments at your lips.

You lean over the space between you first, but Joshua is quick to react in kind. Your bodies twist to face each other as much as the front seats of the car will allow. His mouth is warmer than his hand, lips insistent and unhurried against your own. You wriggle your grasp out of his in favor of placing your hand along the line of his jaw.

The rain rattles against the metal of the car. Slowly, Joshua’s hand moves from the gearshift to your knee. Radio static fades to a warm white noise as you continue to kiss him languidly. As if there’s a backlog of kisses the two of you need to catch up on, but an eternity stretched out in front of you to do it in.

When your own fingers slide down to his shoulder, his hand seems to mirror in a way; squeezing lighty at your knee before gliding up half the length of your thigh. Inbetween kisses, he pants out words that are either your name, or curses, or god.

Your body tries to move closer, impeded by the car’s obstacles and the cramped space. A faint chuckle laced with frustration leaves you, fanning heat against Joshua’s lips. He responds by moving them to your neck. Your hand curves around his nape, the pads of your fingers tickled by ends of his hair. He exhales against the skin of your neck he’s already made damp, and a small shiver runs down your spine. You open your eyes for a moment and watch the pattern of raindrops running down the window as Joshua’s kisses seem to run an even less logical path across your neck and jaw.

You call his name quietly, as if he’s still too far away. He lifts his head to make eye contact. For a moment, there’s nothing but heated gazes. Then a smile breaks out across his face, and you feel your heart flutter a thousand times over inside your chest. Joshua brings his lips your yours again, gentler this time. Your eyes slip shut, and you let yourself begin to sink back into the pleasant dizziness of kissing him.

Something makes you both pull apart at the same moment.

Your heads both turn towards the dashboard, hands still caught upon each other’s bodies.

A voice had made you stop so suddenly. You both drawn back your arms; Joshua’s hand hurrying back to the wheel and the gears while you turn up the volume on the radio. It’s difficult to make out the words. You fiddle with the controls, flipping to different stations in an attempt to find the exact frequency the strange voice was using.

“… checks out… clean…you guys?” you manage to make out as you settle on one. You and Joshua both exchange a look that says neither of you recognize it.

“No signs of anybody down the road” a second, deeper voice replies over the radio, “Seems like the neighborhood’s empty. Jihoon, Soonyoung, anything on the road?”

“Yeeeah, the thing about that–” starts a third, only to be interrupted by another.

“There’s a car that’s been sitting only a bit down from the exit out to us for like… 15 minutes. Not clear what the situation is.”

“Keep an eye on it,” the first voice chimes back in, “Let us know when something changes. The schoolhouse doesn’t seem like anyone’s used it as a shelter for a while. Wonwoo, you guys head back here and we can try scavenging the neighborhood in the morning.”

“Copy!” the lighter, previously interrupted voice replies.

“Another group of survivors,” you remark on the obvious. Joshua’s looking out the windshield, likely looking for whatever exit had been mentioned. Or else for whoever it was that had spotted your car. “They sound young.”

Joshua nods in agreement. It’s the kind of thing that’s reassuring after seeing the kind of camp those older than you can set up back at the warehouse.

“We should keep driving,” you suggest, “Let them regroup and get some rest.”

“How far do we go?” he asks. What he really means is, how much distance between ourselves and these guys too?

“Three exits down?” Easy enough to keep track of which exit they would be off of come morning, but far enough to reassure both yourselves and the strangers for the night.

Joshua doesn’t turn off the highway until you’ve counted five exits.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #joshua imagines #hong jisoo x reader #svt fanfic #time and place flash fics #when in doubt -- go back to the death leech au apparently lmao

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ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive · 6 years ago

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rp guidelines.

Mun is Ash. She/Her. 21+. Ruthless Drama King keeps me prisoner.

This blog is 21+ Nsfw/smut will not be written with those under 21 years old. I will not write with minors.

I know there are a lot of rules here now but incidents, past stuff in rp scene kind of made it mandatory for myself to put down. Common sense lacks in some too so sorry it’s so long but ya know. Gotta do what we rpers gotta do. <3

tw: potential for triggering content & subject matter due to crime scene investigations/forensic profiling. strong language expected. he is simply a problematic aggressive character in most verses.

no godmodding. unspoken rule but please do not control my character under any circumstances. if you continue to break this rule however I may have to cancel our thread. only in extreme cases.

Don’t have personal triggers but I will not write my muse forcing themselves on any other muse.

any personal triggers you are uncomfortable with I will not write and vice versa.

multiverse/oc friendly. au friendly: discussion on AU’s are love. same char different mun friendly. duplicates are always welcome. personally I love OC’s and this boy cannot get enough interaction from them ever. just so you know.

Do not screenshot my posts: ooc, threads etc. It is MY content. I should not have to add this but yes this has happened without my knowledge - at first.

Unfollowing: If there is something you disagree with, do not favor about my writing, portrayal, muse(s) or views the button is always there. Please soft block to unfollow. I will do the same and quietly if it calls for it.

PSA: Don’t call 60 Connor. He is not Connor. He is his own person. This sort of trumps the significance I have built for him as an individual entity in my characterization/ headcanons/ personal iteration in a fandom where he is overlooked. Also if you do refer to him as such verbally to his face you consent to the wrath and animosity he will bestow upon you be it verbal or potentially physical. Trust me 60 is not fond of being mistaken for his predecessor. (It’s a pet peeve and I’m sorry lol but they’re two separate people. I mean I write Connor too so bear with me.)

plots are love. let's discuss story, char relationships, just anything really. down for plotted, random prompts and memes. my dm’s are always open. if I don’t respond straight away I’m either not on at the moment or I’m just swamped in drafts. I still want you to drop in tho.

replies may take a bit. this is a hobby. if I take a while it doesn’t mean I don’t want to rp. sometimes I forget, tumblr eats my notifs or I haven’t thought up a decent reply as of yet. please be patient. I always offer the same to my rp partners. also I do get swamped in drafts and asks so this does contribute to my reply speed. TLDR: I am slow af but I want to write with you.

want to drop a thread? we all lose muse, get too busy, overwhelmed at times. it is perfectly OK. when I do thread purges I will always post an update and @ those I am keeping threads with. the number of follows I have it is just easier for me to do it this way.

shipping: will ship with chars but there are some I may turn down depending on personal preference. typically ships with another RK800/RK900 are a no. sibling, platonic, enemies is where I go. some exceptions may apply depending on verse type but his exclusive and only RK800 ship is with @rob0badge . 60 also would like platonic, friend and enemy ships to counter his romantic ships. any and all are appreciated.

open to smut threads. 21+ very explicit at times depending on verse. 60 is ruthless. fair warning. also smut is not a requirement for romantic ships. if you’re not down for that then 60 is all about the respect of his partner’s wishes.

multiship friendly: winning rk800-60's affection is not easy in the long run. remember he is not easy to get along with.

Shipping Additions: I WILL NOT ship cross unless it is plotted mutually between all parties. even then I will be selective about it. please respect this. multiverse is a thing and that is what my blog is. it will just be ignored.

Content Trigger: 60 is very much ruthless despite his fall into deviancy. if you are uncomfortable with intense personalities this may not be the rp blog for you. certain themes will be highly thematic, problematic and even controversial at times. all of these will be tagged accordingly and put under read more for my followers/mutuals. he will be aggressive and hateful depending on circumstances. he is not very nice. however, the mun does not reflect this characterization and is extremely nice to followers. 60 may not share that affinity but the mun has no malicious intent. Only this ruthless boy does.

threads containing 18/21+ material always go under read more. please adhere to all warnings. some subject matter may be unsettling. remember any dark or triggering themes are NOT condoned by me irl. it just needs to be said.

Interactions: non-rp blogs, personals or those not part of current threads: DO NOT REBLOG. this is becoming a problem lately and I really don’t want to be that person but please follow this rule.If you continue to do so you will be BLOCKED. You can like my posts just fine however. In fact it’s welcome! I like to see others enjoying what I write for the ruthless king.

DBH VERSE REQUIRED: It just works better to be able to write adequately and since my muse is from this universe it’s a given. I rarely do crossovers as I feel some just do not work or fit my muse. If I do they are with main mutuals depending on fandom or personal preference.

Mutual Exclusive/RP Blogs Only: This blog is now private. If you follow me and I do the same back it means I want to interact. Otherwise assume I won’t be following back if I haven’t in a week. I have had some odd things come 60′s way and it is why this blog is locked down now.

Follows: If I follow back it means I want to interact with you. If you're a mutual and you still have not interacted with me after several weeks I WILL unfollow. This is nothing against anyone or meant to be unfair/mean spirited. The blog is an rp blog so of course I want to interact with you all. Also I do not just give free follows since this is not a personal blog.

I would love to follow back depending but if I see no rules or somewhere that states 21 and above for the mun on your blog I won’t. I interact solely with those 21+. I myself am 28 years old. Respect this and don’t lie about your age to me. I have had people lie to me in the past and they’ve been dropped faster then you can shout “Deviant Spotted!”

I reserve the right to unfollow anyone for whatever reason including but not limited to rp politics. Ya gurl not here for rp snobbery or assumptions made. If I become uncomfortable I will soft block to unfollow quietly. I also practice block back. Meaning if I’m hardblocked (which is in anyone’s right who is uncomfortable with my content) I will hardblock back. It’s only fair and honestly it’s a lovely page taken out of one of my waifu’s books.

OOC: If you post a crap ton of ooc posts (I mean plz it’s your blog and your content is yours so go for it) I may unfollow if I cannot blacklist them properly. I mean things that aren’t rp related. This is only in extreme cases. My blog has overwhelmed me so the dash being flooded is something I want to clean up.

Replies: As I have stated in updates on this blog I am super busy and backed up. My reply speed is slower due to lots of drafts and asks. You can remind me but please don’t come at me or try to push me. Muse can be fickle. Some days I have it for a specific verse, others I have it for shorter convos or text threads. I aim to reply to everyone but keep in mind running this blog is not easy and I want it be fun for me. It’s a hobby. When I have to worry and hide from people this is no longer that. If it continues I will drop the thread completely. Only in extreme cases.

Pressuring: Do not come into my inbox on anon passive aggressively asking when I will reply to threads. If you honestly want to remind me like a normal person my dms are open to mutuals only. Do not guilt me into rping. If you pressure and attempt manipulating me you will be blocked. This has happened and I will not put up with it.

Please reblog any memes/prompts from the source and not this blog. I am not an rp source or creator of these. If you continue to do this and just harvest my blog for memes without even interacting I will unfollow/block. If you reblog send me one then. If not well do not do it. non-mutuals do not reblog anything at all from this blog. Also I have to mention some people have used me as a source WITHOUT reblogging from me. Meaning they see the meme and reblog it for themselves as a means of bypassing sending in anything. If we’re mutuals why are you doing this? It will just make me think you do not want to interact.

Asks: Do not reblog asks. Please if you wish to continue make a new post and link back to ask. It just makes my dash a little cleaner and I want to avoid extra asks in the inbox continuing it when we can turn them into convo threads. So please don’t keep sending asks to continue a plot line. Thread it.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT HATE & ASSUMPTIONS: If I discover you sending hate on anon to anybody you’re gone. If you send hate to people about what they ship, especially to female muns/muses, you’re gone. I will not tolerate hate of any kind and if I see you talking negatively about any female muse I will soft block you quietly. I just do not want to interact with you. People who assume generalized posts are about them when I follow you will be softblocked as well. Honestly it’s a given that if I’m following it’s not directed at you. I will not put up with assumptions or continue to view it on my dash. Unfollow me, softblock me, etc. It’s not difficult. My comfort levels are important to me as well as yours should be.

I will not interact with egoists. If I see anything that wigs me out I will just softblock quietly. Elitists go home. I don’t want you here.

I will never rush or be pushy at my partners. I’m so chill about threads. please take your time. let’s never take the fun out of it. never think you’re taking too long or bothering me. DM’s are open to my mutuals only.

I do not do passwords or send messages of any kind. If I am following you rest assured that I have read your rules. I do this automatically when someone follows me and vice versa since I expect the same. If I’m liking update posts you can consider that me seeing it as well.

unfollowing/refollowing: Don’t do it on my blog. If you follow and then unfollow but for some reason come back to follow you get blocked from my side. I don’t need the bs or the attention seeking.

Duplicates are amazing but I will be selective who I follow back and interact with. Nothing personal but I have been the victim of theft in the past. It’s an unfortunate thing but my characterization and headcanons for 60 are my own. I have been writing this boy forever even long before I made this blog. I’m highly protective of my ruthless king. He is my baby after all.

softblocks: I remove people by doing this. It could be for any reason to be honest. We never interact, you keep dropping our stuff, show no interest, I don’t see us interacting after all or any number of reasons to make my dash more comfortable. Do not ask me why I did it. That’s my comfort. No hard feelings. Just move on. I don’t have to cater to you. If you don’t like my methods use the unfollow button and leave my blog. Simple enough.

hardbocking/blacklisting: Yes I have done it. Am I going to blatantly broadcast it for all to see? Nope. I am not obligated to explain why I blocked you. Most times you have broken my rules despite me reminding to read them. Other times there are people I just do not want to see and that is my right not to see them. Same goes for you. Block me if you do not like what you see. I will not censor myself, my writing or who I interact with.

ostracizing people in the rpc: If you don’t like who I am interacting with use your blacklist function. NEVER tell me not to interact with them. If I find out you practice this exclusion tactic on others in the rpc I will purge you off my blog no questions or explanation needed. I totally get it. There are people I don’t like. No one is going to like everyone but do you see me telling others NOT to write with them? Hell no because I know for a fact they have done it to me and others love to listen without all sides to a story.

I also drop people who vague in public servers because it’s straight up childish behavior. I also will not follow or interact with anyone who guilt trips, suicide baits or lies with a pity party song and dance. When you’re found out to be lying or telling other people not to interact with somebody in this RPC I want nothing to do with you. Move on. That’s it.

Drop a like if you made it this far. Whew! No passwords needed. Even if you don’t drop a like it won’t prevent me interacting it’s just nice to see.

#[ooc files]#{~status: updates}#{~status: guidelines}#{{rule post to be linked for a more mobile friendly view}}#{{new rules fully integrated}}#{{thank you loves}}

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schizo-spoon-blog · 6 years ago

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Spoonbender Society: Selected Schizoepistles

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

We Live In A Society

People say we live in a democracy/democratic republic, a form of government intended to amplify what people think and address problems they find to be important. But it doesn’t ever seem to function that way.

The issue is in voter suppression, but as always not in the way people generally think voter suppression works. The issue is psychic, spiritual, and social suppression of citizens. Systemic over-development of senses of rationalization, neuroticism and anxiety, industrially incentivized narcissism.

People develop a deathly fear of what others think, or may think, or what they may have thought about them or what they think, what they may think, or what they may have thought.

A democracy where we’d rather not hear what other people have to say, because we find their thoughts offensive and retarded. That’s one thing people are happy to share. But because we suspect that there are so many offensive retards in the world, we fear... "Perhaps I’m a retard too?" You wonder that even for just a second in your life, if you have a soul. It’s OK to be a retard really, but you’ll never believe that it’s OK, and that's probably What Your Fucking Problem Is.

The opinions of us purported non-retards, to avoid sounding like complete retards, end up soft, ambivalent and stale, phrased like True Neutral Orgasm in Ego-Death Nirvana, but less Chad, less gratifying, and nobody cums. To not be reminded of the possibility of our own retardation, we like to pretend that if the retards just shut up and nobody can hear them, they go away. If they are Physically Removed from our presence, their evil thoughts and their malicious intentions will go away with them. We win. But they don’t. They never do.

We always fail to Psychically Remove them. We lose.

We can hypothesize a law of conservation of hatred, correlate one too of love, but the truth is banal. How can it be in light of our timeline? Why are these Hate Groups all over the place? Hitler’s corpse is rotting or burned to a crisp, or embalmed in a tomb or made a toilet for Some Rich Dude ((parenthetical removed)). (Or was he cloned?)

Great Fatherland Germany - defeated by the "untermensch" and partitioned like a cheese between rats. That Great "Faustian" and "Supreme" "Aryan" Race is subjugated by the hated "Juden" and all the "vermin" of the world, humiliated, castrated to be reunited a shadow of its former self. Yet the Nazi threat is omnipresent nearly a century later, in an era which may be an alien planet to those who lived in Hitler’s time.

How is it that the Great Allies, our fathers and grandfathers, achieved such total victory over so loathsome a foe, so unsympathetic and vile, only to see his Evil infect their own countrymen and posterity? How can something so thoroughly defeated still persist in what could be our neighbors or our co-workers our bosses or our employees? Each one could be a secret Nazi now. In parenting blogs moms worry that their children are becoming Nazis from goofy men they see in videos on line. Marriages are ending in divorce because the husband or wife is allegedly or apparently a Nazi. How could this happen?

Have you ever seen “The Matrix? Who hasn’t? You know all about the red and blue pills, and all the rainbow-flag DLC that it comes with, black and pink and green and brown and in configurations invisible to the human eye, I’m sure. If you don't know, the pills are portals to different realities. Take the black pill and you only see death, take the white pill and everything’s alright, take the blue pill you vote for Hillary, take the pink you become genderqueer. But this is not about taking any pills. This is about going off your meds. Going straight edge - except for whiskey, cigarettes, cocaine and pussy. It’s about the spoon - no, not for shooting up. It's for bending - with your mind. Remember? That spoon - The Spoon That Isn’t There.

That spoon is a Nazi.

If you are aware that there is no spoon you can tie it into knots. You can make it into a balloon animal. That Nazi Spoon could be a Jewish Socialist from Vermont, or a kosher Brooklyn Zionist, or a Dominican Taxi Driver. It could be an evil copy of your own son from Bizzaro World. It's probably your uncle. It could be Rottweilers, and Chihuahuas. Whether Pitbulls are Nazis or Jews/Blacks is an ongoing debate in the contemporary discourse.

But imaginary shit can be whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to be "The One" to Bend the Spoon. You don’t have to be anyone at all. What was the name of the kid who said the line about the spoon again? Nobody knows, nobody cares, and that's the beauty of Spoonbending.

"The Nazi" is the guy who keeps talking when he should shut up. He might be autistic, but he could just be an asshole. There is a strong possibility he could be both. Why does he keep saying all of this ridiculous stuff? He’s more offensive and more retarded than the usual, but it feels like He Has To Be This Way. Like it’s his curse, He Knows Too Much. He fell down some rabbit hole and ended up gorged on Fascist Propaganda. He mentions some girl named Celine. He rambles on about some guy you’re pretty sure is a Tekken character... the guy who turns into the Devil maybe. He mentions a vacation in Turkey with his family but insists on saying Constantinople and there’s a wild-man tear in his eye. He insists he knows about Atlantis and calls you gay for saying you liked Aquaman. Instead of saying goodbye he says “Subscribe to Pewdiepie.” The Nazi belongs in an institution. You wonder if he has guns and if maybe he should have them taken for a while. He probably doesn’t, but you can’t be sure. He’s 12.

When is it too early to become a school shooter? Is 12 too early to be an incel?

12 is probably the age at which incels hatch from their human hosts.

“Who is Pewdiepie, and how has he groomed my nephew into the Hitler Youth?” many families today are asking. They think they’re looking at a spoon. Conditoning fills your heart with a desperate desire to see the spoon. A fact, pure fact, logical, reasonable, peer reviewed, widely accepted, So True, a Textbook Fact. The spoon. Everyone else sees it too. That goddamn Nazi Spoon.

You ever try to ask this at a party as an ice-breaker and see how the guests react?

“So, anyway, was The Holocaust Real?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“What do you think, was it real, how many people do you think died, don’t the gas chambers sound goofy to you?”

”Um… no… they don’t sound goofy. What are you talking about?”

“You ever hear about the Nazi Roller-coaster they had at one of the camps? They’d put Jews into a roller-coaster except they’d fly off the edge and get splattered. That’s how the Nazis killed ‘em. I swear. I read it in a book by a Holocaust Survivor. Impossible to believe if it weren’t so True. No shit. You hear about that?”

”I’m… gonna get another beer.”

Of course there’s a Correct answer to that initial question. It’s also the Right answer. Who would ever get this wrong? It's the 2+2=X of History. Well…

Pop-Quiz, Random Nazi Check, Anybody here Hate Jews? You a Groyper, Son? What’s so funny? You think the Cookie Monster committing genocide is a laughing matter boy? We don’t take kindly to your kind around here.

Maybe you should give the Nazi-check thing a try, it’ll separate sheep and goat real easy for you.

If you do this everyone will think you are The Nazi.

The Nazis hated Jews, but did they hate real Jews as Jews exist, or did they hate the Fascist Propaganda Jew who was a work of fiction? On that note, were you in love with your last failed relationship, or just pretending you were? Have you ever had one impression of a person, but then learned they were another kind of person entirely? That first impression you had, the one that wasn’t True, was that a Real Person, or Imaginary? But you still spent all that money and sweat on an imaginary girl, huh?

Hope her hole was real.

I think that fake bitch of an ex you dated was a nazi. Your ex was a fascist. Oh, was she Jewish? It doesn’t matter, changes nothing. I’ve never met her - wouldn't matter if I did. When I imagine her, she's in Hugo Boss black and got skull-and-bones on her officer's cap, and she's saying racial slurs as she ruins your life, cheats on you, drains your bank account and kills your dog after getting custody over it in court. I imagine all bad people this way. All women who rejected me were exactly like this.

But I must breach working-class anti-fascist solidarity, and admit, on That Question ("Would you?").... Yeah, I would. Sorry bro. Take me away Comrades, I admit it, I'd give it to that Nazi Jew raw. Would I do that to her as she exists, or the Fascist Propaganda her who is a work of fiction?

That depends. You still got her number?

haha it's ok you can call me an incel, it's a step up from what i actually am

(User was banned for this post.)

The Nazi and the Fascist aren’t my hallucinations. That’s not my mental illness. But it’s adjacent to me, it’s thrown at me without my Consent, and it's a Trigger. I'm paranoid about commies myself.

In the multicultural cyberpunk year of 2019, with its trans-human gender-sex-orientations, anti-racist ethno-narcissism, fanatic anti-normalism, cultish critical theory intersections, grand byzantine minimalism, placidity, in such splendid predatory banality… In the absolute state of the world! – Aah! An undead ideology conceived by a salty Frenchman in the badlands of South Dakota in the 1890s shambles forth the devour all that is Good and Holy in the Great United States of AmeriKKKa, God Help Us All! And A Child Will Lead Those Dreadful Legions of Corruption Upon All The Meek Of Our Fallen World!

Or it’s just a spoon that isn’t real.

Nobody wants to be straight-forward, and I gotta navigate the labyrinths of euphemism. Maybe there's something weird going on - how people talk, how people act, how people think, none of those correlate to each other. It makes you feel schizo when you do all your mental rain-man calculus and realize there's a fucking Elephant in the living room and he's not wearing any goddamn pants. Once that little ray-of-sunshine blesses your tiny bug-man brain to enlighten you that the elephant is real, and the spoon isn't, it's only a matter of time before you're crowned in tinfoil a Potato King on your off-grid Bug-out estate in the Idaho Panhandle, or start drinking yourself to death and bullying mailmen (or both).

If you'd like to avoid that sort of Elephant-Mania Spoon-denialism, maybe you should try answering Uncomfortable Question instead of being so Weird about it, oh wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you’re freaking out the hoes.

Try Praeger U talking points out on a Tinder date and watch her shrivel up from instathot to instahag -- she will go through menopause before your very eyes, that's how dry her pussy will get. Trying not to sound racist while talking about the Antarctic Nazi base and the importance of craniometry in ethnocultural anthropology will get you more action than anything that sounds like a paraphrase of Charlie Kirk -- because even if you're still being cringe at least you aren't being fake. Point and laugh at that fucking elephant - the moron isn't even wearing pants! That'll get her thinking about taking your pants off. Or not - it's not foolproof. If she doesn't laugh, red-flag, she's a Nazi so Begone Thot!

Please, for the love of God, go off-script! See the damn elephant and forget the spoon, and forget the wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you'll go insane if you don't.

[. . . ] [T]hen there's that neuroticism, that narcissism, that fear. The whole point of these politics groups and gatherings and Q&As is what, anyway? Is it really just basic marketing tactics, like a live-action advertisement you expect for people to passively consume as though it is persuasive? To shove free-markets and free-speeches down my throat and have me swallow it without having anything that’s been bothering me answered? What do I look like to you, an Ideology Whore? You don't even reciprocate a good time, huh? I'm not that kind of girl. You didn't even buy me dinner. You made me pay to bore me. I'd cuck you if we dated just to make a very important point -- fully aware it'll go over your head. Fuck you.

We gotta hear The Script. We gotta recite The Script.

Real Conservatives Think Like This. Real Progressives Think Like This. White People Walk Like This. Black People Walk Like This.

Gotta hear that joke ten thousand times so you can recite it like a mantra in your sleep.

Free markets mean free people. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Private Companies can do what they wish. What you do in your bedroom is your own business. We want legal immigration, not illegal.

Abolish ICE. Your childhood hero says Trans-Rights. Do you not want me in the movement? Abolish whiteness.

The Racism of Lowered Expectations.

Reparations.

A white nation.

Workers of the world unite!

Abortion is a human right.

Have you got it memorized?

Let’s go over it a few more times.

Say it with me! Hillary was found innocent in a hundred hearings and it is sexist to besmirch her reputation.

Repeat after me! Trump’s economy is the best in history, and if he's racist why is black unemployment is at historical lows.

You benefit from unearned privilege. You suffer from toxic masculinity.

The world is about to end and everything you know and love will die, and it is your fault, for not believing in the correct things at the correct time.

Are you laughing yet?

I’m dying. I feel like an e-girl, and my orbiters are sides.

But do you wanna know what I really think? The whole bit about psychic and social suppression? You ever hear about the Procrustean bed? Well, what if we put your political, social, moral consciousness and your psychic abilitys into a bed like that. We could talk about it. You ever play Xenogears?

Or you could just put me in a box. I really wouldn't mind. I'm Houdini. Hey, was Houdini a Nazi, like Henry Ford? Can we get a fact-check? I didn't mean to be problematic.

Break the Conditoning - Step outside the box, and use it as a step ladder. Ascend, Beyond the Box - use The Spoon.

Bush did 9/11, the Israeli’s danced, the Aliens killed JFK - sure - but I only say this because of my MK Ultra Schizo-brain. It’s true, it’s false, it’s fact, it’s myth, I don’t have to believe any of it -- I also don't have to believe any of you if I don’t want to. My feelings do not care about your facts, and did you know that some of the world's most uncomfortable facts are manifested into being by uncomfortable feelings? Is it the fact of the bullet that kills the political dissident, or the feelings of his executioner? Is it the deranged lust of the rapist that violates his victim, or the fact of his power to do so? I guess it depends on whether the perpetrator said "nothing personnel kid" before he committed the act. I don't know about that Nazi Rapist's feelings, but MY feelings are valid and I can believe or disbelieve whatever I want on the basis of my feelings, and my feelings alone. My feelings bend the spoon of your facts.

Are you going to say I don’t have the right, Adolf? Sucks for you, bud, I may be a commie by blood, but the heart that pumps it was assembled in the ole USA -- and we got the Right to be a Retard here in America. It's a Free Country.

[Note: please insert image of Jonathan Frakes from Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction]

Now that the dust has settled: Was the Nazi Roller-Coaster Real? Or did we put the Truth in a Mass-Grave? We will let you know at the conclusion of our program.

Sincerely and Full of Suffering Your Friend Always, Orcbrand

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the-bounce-back · 6 years ago

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4 WAYS TO HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP (AS TOLD BY A SINGLE CYNIC)

Oh hey there. I’m back at it again with the consistency, now that things are back to normal(ish). I feel like I’ve had enough of being sad and unproductive, so I’m ready to spend my free time actually writing again. You’re all welcome.

Now that I’ve actively made the decision to stop dwelling on stuff that I can’t change (after taking advice from my own posts - imagine that!), I’m pleased to say that post ideas are really just attacking me left right and centre: so I’ll be able to deliver my wisdom on a semi-regular basis at the very least. For example, next week I’m starting my self-confidence project, which will be a series of posts covering how to find confidence in different aspects of life based on my own self-confidence jOuRnEy. Cringe, I know, but definitely worth writing about and something that I feel a lot of people can take away something from.

Anyways - todays topic is going to be about relationships. Namely, how to set yourself up to have a happy, healthy, supportive, empowering, stress-free one that genuinely adds something valuable to your life (as opposed to headaches and nonsense that I feel like a lot of people are going through in their relationships right now).

I know what you’re thinking.

“But Liv! I swear all your relationships crashed and burned - how the hell does that make you qualified to talk about relationships that’ll last?”

First of all, step off my neck because I really don’t recall asking for your input.

Secondly, you do have a point - but not for the reason your smart ass thinks.

If you’ve followed my blog from the beginning, you might remember that I stated in my intro post that one of the main reasons I started this blog was for me to have an outlet for my thoughts and feelings during the healing process after a pretty bad breakup (read it here). I’ve been very open about how the breakup has affected me (and still does, to a certain degree), and spent a lot of time reflecting on the situation, what went wrong, where I went wrong and what I can take away from what happened to be able to bOuNcE bAcK from it.

All this time reflecting and critically analysing the situation leads me to believe that I genuinely have unique insight into how and why some relationships end up going to sh*t, and what not to do the next time my dumb ass decides to fall for somebody. I’ve also found comfort in realising that despite all the pain it caused me, it truly has taught me invaluable lessons about perceptions of self-worth, self-love and independence from validation from others.

Before I get to my gems of wisdom, I just want to get a few disclaimers out of the way. Firstly, I should say from the get-go that this post will be geared towards straight and bi women that have been involved with men, as that is all I can truly speak on. With that being said, I’ve tried to keep it as gender-neutral as possible, and I do believe that there are certain points that will be relevant to all genders and sexualities, so hopefully all that read this can find at least something they can see sense in.

Secondly, I would like to reiterate that all views and opinions here on The Bounce Back are 100% my own, based on my own research and own life experiences. If you’ve read my previous posts you probably already know that I’m really and truly just winging it in this life and writing about what I believe to be correct based on my own opinions. I am by no means a mental health professional or life-coach, so please apply sense before taking what I say literally. Because if you ruin your life by following advice that isn’t relevant to you…. I’m not involved. Sorry.

With that out of the way, please continue reading if you want advice on how to make your current or future relationship bang.

1. Understand that you do not need anybody.

Oh sweetheart. Did you really think I was going to do a post about how to tantalise your man/girl/wcw/mcm/fwb/love interest/potential/whatever you want to refer to them as into falling head over heels in luuuurve with you? You must be new here, or very, very delusional.

Regardless of if you’re in a relationship, situationship, happily single or have an icebox where your heart used to be (...so cold), I think it’s imperative to wrap your head around that while the thought of a significant other might be nice to some, it is absolutely not by any means a necessity for you to be happy and successful in this life. And if you haven’t figured out your own aspirations, goals and dreams, I’d even go as far as saying that relationships can be a source of severe distraction.

Don’t get me wrong here - despite how it may seem I really do love love, and I’m very romantic. It will take a lot more than a couple bad breakups for me to not believe in relationships. The point I’m trying to make is that without a strong sense of self, your own aspirations and being secure in your beliefs is a sure-fire way to risk getting into a relationship that ends up doing more harm to your mental health than good. The way I see it, the attitude to have towards relationships is being secure in the knowledge that you don’t need them, but that you want them in your life. The relationship should be a choice, and not a necessity or a psychological/emotional crutch.

Of course, it’s really easy for me to tell you to not get into a relationship until you have your mental and emotional sh*t together based on all this ~*experience*~ I now have - but trust me, I know this is so much easier said than done. Tantalising human beings really just pop up out of nowhere sometimes, and at the end of the day we can’t help who we’re attracted to (unfortunately). One thing leads to another, and boom - suddenly you’re 4 months deep into a situationship when you swore you were done with dAtInG. I hear you loud and clear.

The truth is, life really comes at us fast, and I’m not enough of a cynic to tell you to face front and disregard the opportunity to get to know someone that intrigues you. However - what I will tell you is that entering a situation when you’re still trying to find yourself (as cringe as it may sound) has the potential to be detrimental to your mental health. This, in the sense that you run the risk of placing a lot of your self-worth and self-identity in your relationship with this person, and end up having this desperate need for validation from someone other than yourself.

I can confidently say that I have been on both ends of the spectrum in this case, and I know that a lot of people in my age range can relate to this, too. Hear me out.

I think many of us have been in a situation where the person we like just seems so perfect and amazing in every thinkable way, that we end up - very unfairly - putting them on a pedestal and almost idolising them, for lack of a better word. I think this is especially common in teenage relationships, or first relationships in general. Becoming this addicted to somebody - regardless of how “good” or “bad” they are for you or how “good” or “bad” they treat you - will almost definitely end up hurting you if you haven’t established your sense of self-worth by yourself. The fear of them finally realising that they’re “better” than you and leaving, the fear of them meeting someone better than you and ending things (or worse, cheating), the way you start hating yourself because you don’t feel good enough for them. The list goes on. I feel like most relationships like these almost always end up in heartbreak, or at the very least are very dysfunctional, because why is the only thing you have going for yourself the fact that you are someone’s significant other (or less)?

I say this… but I get it. Being completely blindsided by someone isn’t abnormal - it gEtS LiKe ThAt sometimes. However, it is up to you to determine how far you are willing to let this infatuation consume you.

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum - the relationship where everything feels too good to be true. Those relationships that make you slowly but surely start visualising the life you could have with this person. They become the first person you tell good and bad news to. Assuming that they will always be there becomes second nature because they make you feel safe and secure, and whenever you’re faced with an important decision, your immediate thought is how this is going to affect them and your relationship.

If you’re into monogamy and “traditional” relationships, this would be the person you see yourself spending the rest of your life with and building a future with. In an ideal world, this person ends up moving past the significant other stage and takes on the role as your life partner - the person you settle down and have kids with, travel the world with, start a business with, grow old with… whatever floats your boat and constitutes your “happily ever after”, really.

But as we all know, this world is far from ideal. These seemingly perfect relationships that you’re convinced are going to last forever aren’t immune to f*ckeries either, unfortunately. There are infinite reasons as to why they end up falling apart that I’m not even going to get into - because it doesn’t even really matter. In my opinion, these kind of breakups are far more lethal than a simple case of breaking up over infidelity, incompatibility or outgrowing each other, simply because they’re the biggest mindf*ck.

One second you have your whole future planned out (or at the very least know that that person is going to be there), then suddenly that whole dream is gone. Aaaand cue the inevitable heartbreak.

I say inevitable, because coming out from a long term relationship and realising how much of your goals, aspirations and plans for the future were directly or indirectly intertwined with the assumption that you would last forever is genuinely soul crushing, and I’m not even being dramatic. I wouldn’t wish that sh*t on anyone. The feeling of going from having your life somewhat figured out to suddenly being alone and directionless is extremely hard to put into words: it’s just something I don’t think you can fully grasp until you’ve been through it, healed from it and learned from it. If you haven’t been through it, count yourself lucky and pray you’ll never have to.

So, to bring this back to the main point - there is no chance in hell that I will ever allow myself to be in a situation where my whole life, happiness and mental health is in any way dependent on someone else ever again, and I’d recommend you doing the same. Making sure that you have your own life, plans, goals, mental health, confidence and issues sorted out before entering a relationship puts you in a position of power and gives you something to fall back on, because you’ll know in the back of your head that regardless of how things work out - you’ll be alright.

2. Ensure you’re actually in love with yourself.

As you probably know by now, I’m a sucker for clichés, and especially this one:

You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself.

It genuinely sickens me when I think back to times when I didn’t understand this, because I now see how unhealthy the situation was. I’ve been in a position where I literally felt that I loved someone more than myself, because I put them on that previously discussed pedestal and made my entire life about them. At the time, I obviously didn’t realise how damaging this was to me because I never even clocked that all the mental health issues I was going through at the time were all linked to this very unstable and unhealthy basis for a relationship. This, in the sense that all my insecurities became amplified by the fear of losing him.

Whenever we argued about something minor, my immediate fear was that he’d think I’m tOo MuCh, and leave me for someone that’s less of a headache.

Every time his phone lit up, my immediate fear was that he was talking to some other b*tch.

Whenever we went out and saw some other girl he used to be involved with (which is pretty much inevitable when you’re in uni), my immediate fear was that he was thinking that he’d made a mistake by choosing me over hEr.

Let me stop there before I die of first hand embarrassment. Of course, now it’s painfully clear to me that I had no business being involved with someone when I was too insecure to function and my perception of self-worth was so obviously lacking. In my defence I was young and still thought that validation, affection and attention from men was necessary to survive in this life. Let’s all laugh together, please.

Bringing this back to the cliché at the beginning of this section, I can’t stress how disgustingly true this is. The way I see it, you really do have to love and appreciate every aspect of yourself - even the “bad” stuff - before even thinking about being in a relationship with someone else. If you’ve read my other posts, you’ll know that I’m a firm believer in being simultaneously kind and brutally honest with yourself about what you need to do to get your sh*t together so you can strengthen your self-love.

Of course, there are millions of ways to build yourself up to a point of f*cking with yourself 100%, and different methods work for different people and blah blah blah. You know this already. However, since you’re here reading my blog, I can only assume that you’re dying to know how I’ve built up my confidence and love for myself, so listen/read carefully.

The pedestal I’ve put countless undeserving mcm‘s on in the past is now fully reserved for myself, and myself alone.

I’ve forced myself to put myself on that pedestal, because I’ve realised that I need to fully understand that I am the prize. I am the one that people should count themselves lucky to have in their lives. I am the sh*t, and I’m way too f*cking amazing to have to deal with someone that makes me feel even a smidgen less than that.

Now, I touched on this topic in my post about giving yourself accolades (if you haven’t read it yet read it here, it’s one of the best posts I’ve ever written), and knowing the difference between confidence and arrogance - so I won’t go into too much detail here. Yes, me talking myself up and flexing on all of you might come across as arrogant, but this is untrue - arrogance would mean that I see myself superior to others, which is hardly the case. My genuine wish is that everyone reading this begins to think about their achievements and realise that they, too, are deserving of being the highest regarded person in their own lives. Celebrating successes with my equally hardworking and driven friends is definitely my favourite pastime, as well as stunting and shining. F*ck being humble, we can all win.

But seriously - I highly recommend bigging up yourself every day and forcing yourself out of the shackles of humility. It might feel weird at first, but I definitely started to notice that the more I forced myself to speak highly of myself, the more I began to realise that I am the only person I’ll literally be with for the rest of my life, so I might as well love the sh*t out of myself. I’ve come so far on this, and I can’t wait to write about it in detail during my confidence project. I definitely love and regard myself as the most important person in my life now, but I still have a long way to go in terms of being my own biggest fan. It’s definitely a challenge, but the rewards...whew chile.

Obviously, everyone has off days. There will always be the occasional moment where you feel like sh*t and doubt yourself and your abilities - however, it’s up to you to not allow these moments to cripple you and get in the way of winning. Of course, after the breakup I let myself feel like this for an embarrassingly long amount of time, and my self-worth was almost entirely based in the fear that I’d never find someone that would put up with all my “sh*t” again. It took a long time for me to realise that the “sh*t” I put people involved with me through isn’t actually sh*t at all - they’re standards.

Deep it, though. I used to feel bad about having standards, and an idea of how I would like to be treated in a relationship. Do you realise how sad that is?

Anyways - that’s definitely in the past now. I’ve gotten to love myself so much that as soon as I notice that I’m not getting the energy I deserve from someone I like, it’s curtains because I can’t come and kill myself for attention. I can proudly say that I no longer give a f*ck about who enters and exits my life, because I have myself and that is all I need.

To bring all this back to relationships in general, I’d like to bring the cliché “you attract the energy you put out” into the mix. If you’re single and are very insecure about yourself for whatever reason, I can almost guarantee you that you’ll either attract parasitic trash that will take advantage of your insecurities, or the equally bad self proclaimed “Nice Guy™” that will be all sweet to you, but secretly finds joy in drip feeding validation to women with low self-esteem. All because they can’t handle strong women. I have to laugh.

However, if you carry yourself like you know you’re That B*tch - which you are - I promise that you’ll see a difference in the type of people you attract. When I made up my mind that I’m the only person in my life that deserves unconditional love - thus changing the energy that I put out - I definitely noticed a shift in the people I associate myself with, and this is both in terms of platonic friends and otherwise.

I could definitely write a whole post about this, but I’ll keep it short. I realised that some people were only really interested in being in my life due to how insecure I was, and how easy it was to walk all over me. It’s actually quite comical, because as soon as I became more assertive, they either slowly but surely peaced out from my life or started talking sh*t about how I’ve cHaNgEd.

All because they couldn’t handle me now that I’m stronger. Again, I have to laugh.

On the upside, though, my real friends and new people I meet genuinely love how secure and confident I’ve become, and they motivate me to grind even harder and elevate even more than I already have. The bottom line is that it is this type of person you want to attract, f*ck the rest. And then when you decide you’re ready to share your awesomeness with someone else, you’ll be able to easily determine who is deserving of it.

This advice can also be applied to those of you who are already in a relationship, too. Of course, ideally you’re already with someone that motivates and elevates you, you already carry yourself like you’re all that, and you don’t even have problems with insecurities. However, let’s say for argument's sake that you do have insecurities about yourself and the relationship, and you sometimes doubt that this person is right for you.

Shift your worries and attention away from your s/o, and work on combating your own insecurities and demons - because at the end of the day, you can’t force someone else to change. When you’ve gotten to a point of higher self-esteem, I think that the relationship can go one of two ways:

1. Your s/o loves that you’ve become more secure in yourself, applauds you for becoming a stronger person without their validation, and the connection between you becomes even deeper. They love the fact that you have set yourself straight, that you have a life and aspirations outside of them, and might even find motivation to improve themselves after seeing you thrive.

2. Your s/o finds great discomfort in the fact that you’re now more assertive and secure, and subtly tries to drag you back down to a state of submissiveness and insecurity. This, because they knowingly or unknowingly need to feel that they are superior to their partner, or because they have a need to feel needed by somebody else.

Of course, this is overly simplified for the purpose of me making a point - it’s not going to be as black and white as this. All I can really say is that you need to pay close to attention to how your s/o reacts and how your relationship shifts once you become more assertive. If you notice that the relationship takes a shift towards the latter point, then I suggest you seriously evaluate whether the relationship is worth fighting for or not.

Spoiler alert: it isn’t. Relationships aren’t meant to be psychological torture, and your s/o is trash for trying to hinder your emotional wellbeing. Dump them and find someone that’s actually worthy of you.

3. Understand that you shouldn’t have to change for anybody.

I find this one rather funny, because I feel like this is definitely advice that mums in coming-of-age rom coms give their sullen teenage daughters who are crying their eyes out over some wasteman that treats them like crap. Then the next scene cuts to the girl rolling up to school wearing something ridiculous and not at all what she’d usually wear and acting different - all because she she’s in lOvE. I’m looking at you, Sandy from Grease.

I’m getting carried away, but you know what I mean. What’s even funnier is that I don’t know a single girl that hasn’t gone through something like this in real life - myself included. The amount of us that would try to dress different, act different, look different, listen to music that we hated and watch movies/tv-shows we found dumb just for some useless boy to notice us and like us back is actually astounding and extremely tragic (in my defence… he had a nose ring). If you didn’t succumb to this kind of embarrassing behaviour when you were younger, I genuinely hope you are enjoying the view from your high horse, and I’m also really sorry that your teenage years were sh*t and boring.

All jokes aside - I can’t stress enough how important it is to realise that unless you are an actual axe murderer or clinically insane, you shouldn’t have to change a single thing about yourself for anybody. I’m a firm believer of a notion that a healthy relationship should put you in a place where you wouldn’t mind making changes for your s/o, but at the same time being secure in the knowledge that they would never want you to change. Of course, if somebody you’re interested in gives you genuinely great and constructive advice on how to change something about yourself that you know needs changing, this a completely different story and not at all what I’m referring to in this case.

I’m referring to the cases in which you fall for someone who seems amazing in every way when you get to know them, to the point that you become afraid of losing them. So afraid, that when they start spewing rubbish about how you laugh too loud/dress too provocatively/talk too much/whatever other nonsense they can come up with, you allow it and actively try to suppress certain aspects of yourself to make sure they won’t leave.

First of all, this is extremely manipulative and bordering on emotional abuse. Secondly - although I fully understand the whole being so tantalised by someone that you become Ray Charles to their bullsh*t thing - you need to take a step back from the situation and ask yourself whether they really and truly like you if they’re trying to change everything about you that makes you, you. Best case scenario is that you deep that you’re obviously not compatible, and worst case scenario is that you’ve become involved with an emotionally abusive and controlling bastard that can - in the literal sense - ruin your life.

Thinking about all this makes me think about the first time I heard the poetry in the beginning of Lemonade, and how triggering it was to be able to relate to it to a certain extent:

I tried to change.

Closed my mouth more.

Tried to be softer,

Prettier,

Less awake.

Fasted for 60 days,

Wore white.

Abstained from mirrors.

Abstained from sex.

Slowly did not speak another word.

All that for a man you know, f*cking hell. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I fasted for 60 days or abstained from anything, but it’s the general notion of subduing certain personality traits that I want to focus on here. In my case, I’m very aware that my energy, vibe and sense of humour (amongst other aspects of my personality) isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Now that I’m older and more secure in myself I have learned to accept to not take it personally when new people I meet aren’t on the same wavelength as me, but when I was younger I really used to take that sh*t to heart. I remember being convinced that I was an annoying little sh*t, and I was constantly watching what I said, not speaking my mind and holding back my hilarity - simply because I didn’t want people I was interested in to think I was too much.

Imagine I used to literally cry myself to sleep because I was convinced that nobody would want me if I didn’t hold back my full madness. Not really sure if I want to die of embarrassment or laugh. Probably both.

Of course, now I know for a fact that I’m an annoying little sh*t, and I’m actually very pleased that I’ve gotten to a place where I can fully accept that. I’ve noticed that ever since I’ve been unapologetically myself, I’ve attracted people that genuinely enjoy and appreciate the full extent of my wisdom and hilarity - platonic friends or otherwise. I actually dare someone to even imply that there’s something about the way I am that they don’t like, and think I should change. I really, really, really wish someone would, because I haven’t had a good laugh in a while.

Anyways, I’ve definitely gone off topic. To round up this section, the point I’m trying to make is that I believe that you should never settle for someone that doesn’t love every single part of your mind and personality before you pursue a relationship with them. Yes, I’m aware that it takes time to get to know someone to that extent, and that’s exactly my point. I feel that many people (myself in the past included) often make the mistake of forcing and/or rushing a connection with someone simply due to the initial attraction that made them want to get to know the person in the first place.

This is problematic in the sense that if you rush into something with someone based on physical attraction alone, more likely than not you’ll soon realise with time that there are certain aspects of that person that you find… unappealing, to put it lightly - and vice versa. Now you’re in a situation where you either pray that the person will cHaNgE fOr YoU, or you go out of your way to force the person to change their ways to be someone that you like better - i.e. not them.

Yes - this works both ways. Just like you have the right to shut anyone who tries to make you change something about yourself down, other people are allowed to not want to pursue something with you if they realise that you’re not compatible. Shocking and upsetting news, I know. I don’t make the rules.

For this exact reason, I am personally not inclined to force or rush anything with anyone, regardless of how tantalising and sweet they may seem. My next relationship will be based on a mutual and in depth understanding of both mine and my s/o’s compatibility and personalities, as well as emotional intelligence and intellectual stimulation. That is by force, because I refuse to put myself through another extended headache, or by feeling like I’m having to hold myself back for them to accept me. Life is way too short for sh*t relationships, and this exactly why I believe that the “talking stage” should not be rushed. No one wants to be surprised by deal-breaking opinions, behaviours or mannerisms six months deep into a relationship - so where is the rush?

Anyways. The bottom line is that you shouldn’t have to change for anyone, and no one should have to change for you. There’s sOmEoNe OuT tHeRe FoR eVeRyOnE - don’t let your fear of being alone force you into something that you later on realise you don’t even want.

4. Know that if all else fails - you will be fine.

I’ve put this point at the end because I think it ties together all the takeaways from the previous point real nice-like. Of course, there are infinite reasons as to why relationships end up fizzling out, but this is even irrelevant to the point I’m trying to make.

The reason why I’ve written so extensively about how important it is to understand that you don’t need anyone else’s attention and validation to be happy, how important it is to f*ck with yourself 100% and understanding that you are amazing just the way you are is because I didn’t have anything like this to read when I was at my lowest. I really had to figure all of this out for myself, and although I’ve definitely learned a lot and changed for the better - it still took a massive and painful toll on me emotionally and mentally, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

For me, learning how to be comfortable with being alone, learning how to love myself inside out, realising my immense worth and putting myself first in all aspects of my life really has given me the ability to say that regardless of what life throws at me - relationship-wise or otherwise - I will be okay. I am strong. I am smart. I am f*cking amazing, and everyone that has or has had anything to do with me is truly blessed.

My genuine wish is that my openness and honesty about how I got through a really (for me) emotionally devastating time will help others that might be able to relate to certain aspects of it, or that need empowering to believe that they are capable of building their self-love, resilience and self-confidence.

I think the main point I want to bring focus on in this section is the changes I made to my life to make myself independent of anyone else’s validation and life. When I was forced to reevaluate my life goals and aspirations (since they were very much dependent on the assumption that my ex would be in my future), I took extra care to ensure that they benefited me and me alone. Once I had realigned them and began to grind for my own damn self, I quickly realised that I’ll never be able to go back to a state of dependency or submissiveness ever again.

And that, beloved, is exactly how I know that my next relationship - whenever it comes along - will be A1. I say this with vim, because now I know exactly how I deserve to be treated and loved. I am physically, mentally and emotionally unable to accept anything less than what I know I deserve. Furthermore, all this newfound self-love has empowered me to be a better partner to whoever is lucky to end up with me. You see the motivation, support, intellectual stimulation, peace of mind and non-stop laughter they will get? Whew chile. My babes will enjoy.

So - regardless of if you’re in a (hopefully) happy relationship, happily single, still healing or looking for your Johnny/Caro - I hope that there is at least something you can take away from this post and apply to your life to be able to contribute to your happiness, confidence and mental wellbeing.

Or maybe this whole post was a waste of time and energy, because then again - what do I know firsthand about successful relationships? Zilch. I really could just be chatting sh*t - it wouldn’t be the first time.

Anyways, I can’t come and kill myself. I’ll let you be the judge of if I’m talking sense or not.

Love,

Liv

#Empowerment #selflove #opinions #love

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purrincess-chat · 7 years ago

Text

All’s Fair in Love and Superheroes CH2

At long last~ I am back on this. This chapter corresponds to day 10: reverse balcony scene as requested by @yoyos-on-the-wharf I hope you enjoy the next installment of this disaster in the making ;)

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

ladyblogger: um, so that was unexpected

smellywolf: yeah tough break M. who would have thought ladybug would be the one swooping in to steal adrien from u

heeliesb4feelies: maybe marinette should have gone to ladybug for tips >:P

pinkthorn: alix! Marinette is heartbroken don’t make fun of her

heeliesb4feelies: sorry :(

macaronette: im fine u guys. really

ladyblogger: are you sure u don’t need an emergency slumber party? we can eat left over cookies and throw darts at all of the pictures on ur wall

heeliesb4feelies: or we can turn them into a bonfire >:)

macaronette: guys im not upset with adrien

actually a vampire: do you want us to sabotage their date?

heeliesb4feelies: we can buy a bunch of mice from the pet store and set them loose on his yacht

smellywolf: alix thats inhumane

pinkthorn: what if we kidnap her and send in marinette in a ladybug costume. I mean she kind of looks like her I think we could pull it off

macaronette: what? NO! no one is releasing any animals on anyone’s yacht or kidnapping anybody!

actually a vampire: can we dye his hair hot pink while he’s sleeping?

pinkthorn: YES!

macaronette: NO!!

ladyblogger: i can totally write an article slamming her on my blog. i love her but youre way more important to me girl

macaronette: can we just drop it? i dont want to throw darts at his face and i dont want any of u sabotaging their date. he said yes which means he likes her and more than anything i just want him to be happy

smellywolf: aww marinette!

ladyblogger: girl u are too good for him

pinkthorn: adrien doesn’t know what hes missing! youre like the nicest person I know Marinette!

actually a vampire: yeah way cooler than ladybug

heeliesb4feelies: …I mean marinette doesnt have super powers im just saying

ladyblogger: alix

heeliesb4feelies: what? superpowers are cool!

ladyblogger: thats not the point

heeliesb4feelies: fine. youre cool marinette even without magic

macaronette: thanks girls. ill be fine im just gonna sleep it off.

ladyblogger: k were here for u if u need us

pinkthorn: night marinette!

heeliesb4feelies: let us know if you change your mind about the mice

smellywolf: alix

macaronette: night girls

Marinette set her phone down with a sigh, leaning her head back against the chaise. The girls were all sweet to look out for her, but how could she tell them that she was the same Ladybug that asked Adrien out? Not that she didn’t trust them to keep her secret, but with Hawkmoth out there, she couldn’t risk one of them getting hurt for knowing her identity. Leading a double life could be so exhausting.

“What are you going to do, Marinette?” Tikki asked, flitting up with a frown. “You’re not really going to go out with him as Ladybug are you?”

“I don’t know, Tikki,” She said, staring up at her ceiling. “He said yes, and I don’t want to disappoint him. I just can’t believe I did that!”

She slumped over into a ball, hugging a pillow to her chest and hiding her face with a moan. How could she have been so careless? What was she thinking transforming into Ladybug? And then forgetting to change back… Ugh, Adrien just made her brain so crazy and jumbled and distracted, and now Ladybug had a date with him instead of Marinette.

“If you go through with this, you’re going to have to be careful, Marinette. Ladybug can’t get distracted whenever Hawkmoth makes another akuma.” Tikki warned seriously.

“I know, and it could put Adrien in danger if I get to close to him. What if akumas come after him because of me? I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him,” She said, shaking the thought out of her brain. “Just one date and then I can let him down gently. As Ladybug, of course. Then Marinette can figure something else out.”

“Atta girl!”

***

“Can you believe it, Plagg?” Adrien sighed dreamily, pacing the floor of his bedroom. “Ladybug asked me on a date, and it wasn’t a dream!”

“Don’t you find it a little odd that she’d ask you on a date? Wouldn’t you prefer to go out with her as Chat Noir?” Plagg asked before stuffing his gullet with cheese.

“I’d like to go out with her at all. Whether that’s as Adrien or Chat Noir isn’t as important as the date itself, wanna know why?” Adrien smirked, though Plagg’s response was a disinterested blink. “Because it means she likes me, and if she likes Adrien then that means she likes Chat Noir too by default.”

“But don’t you think it’s kind of strange that she likes the you she doesn’t know very well?” Plagg shot back, cocking a brow.

“My face is all over Paris, maybe she’s just a fan and wants to get to know me better. Hence, the date.” Adrien rolled his eyes as if it were obvious. “Besides who’s to say she doesn’t know Adrien? It’s a possibility I’ve thought about a lot since we became superheroes. Given that we don’t know each other’s identity, it’s a very real possibility that we know each other in our normal lives.”

“Yeah and maybe you two are even friends,” Plagg said mockingly.

“Are we really? You know who she is, right?” Adrien perked up, and Plagg’s eyes narrowed skeptically.

“I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not you know each other in real life. You’re not allowed to know who she is, and no amount of cheese will make me talk,” He said with a huff, turning around stubbornly.

“I know, I know, but a boy can dream, right?” He sank into his computer chair and leaned his head back with a dopey grin. “Where do you think she’s gonna take me?”

“Hopefully somewhere with good cheese,” Plagg mumbled under his breath as Adrien stood up and resumed pacing with a finger hooked around his chin in thought.

“Ladybug and I are both celebrities which means that if we go out in public, we’ll draw a lot of attention to ourselves which if Ladybug hates anything it’s drawing attention to herself, and seeing as she’s always so careful about revealing too much about her personal life, she’ll likely want to go somewhere secluded and away from the public eye which means…” He stopped short, eyes widening with realization. “I’m going to get a romantic night out with Ladybug alone. Just the two of us under Paris lights. Plagg, this is going to be the first date we tell our kids about!”

“I think you should wait until after the date before you build a fantasy life with her in your head,” Plagg said pointedly.

“Ha ha,” Adrien replied dryly before averting his gaze guiltily. “I did that months ago and even made a Sims file for us. We have three kids and a dog.”

Plagg gave him a concerned look as if he were a few seconds away from calling in a shrink, but Adrien pulled out another container of Camembert from the cabinet with a smirk, though his distraction was short-lived when a knock sounded on his window. He turned to see Ladybug hanging upside down and felt his heart skip a beat. Even upside down she was still beautiful, but he shook himself to keep from getting distracted and pressed the button on his remote to let her in.

“Ladybug, hi,” He said with a shy smile as she landed gracefully.

“Hello,” She said with a wave before clasping her hands together in front of her. “So, um, about the date…”

“Yeah?” He perked up eagerly, and she bit her lip.

“Is tomorrow night okay? I know you’re probably really busy with all of your modeling and stuff, and if that doesn’t work for you then we can pick another time and-”

“I’m free tomorrow,” He interjected before cupping a hand over his mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” She waved her hands reassuringly. “So, um, tomorrow then around 7? We can meet outside the school.”

“Awesome! I can’t wait, Ladybug.” He met her gaze head-on with a warm smile, and her face softened as a rosy tint stained her cheeks.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow then, Adrien Agreste,” She said softly before tossing her yoyo and leaving out the way she came in.

“I’ll be waiting, m’lady.”

Buy me a ko-fi?

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #ladrien june #ladybug #adrien agreste #my writing #all's fair in love and superheroes

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bonestructureandcontempt · 7 years ago

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This is an immensely, deeply personal post about personal issues and experience spurred on by current events. I mention this as a preface in the hopes that if you read this, you will understand this isn’t a post that warrants reblogging or spreading in any way and I’m not even gonna tag it. Obviously, tumblr’s search algorithm being what it is, you may encounter this post and not even know who I am or follow me and while I can’t stop you from reading my blog, please just know I am writing this for my own peace of mind and not for notes. I’m going to put a cut below this paragraph but I don’t know if that will matter on tumblr mobile. I’m sorry if you’re bombarded with a wall of text you didn’t ask for.

We’ve barely had time to process how incredibly ill-advised it was that Elizabeth Warren actually took a DNA test to prove Native American ancestry to spite Donald Trump and inadvertently opened up a can of worms that exposed her personal racism and cultural appropriation AND how much indigenous people are still shit on in this country. Then the news broke about HHS and Title IX and the erasure of gender identity by the administration seeking to edge trans people out of society. THEN the migrant caravan news broke and with that came the usual conspiracy theories from the Right that this was a ploy by the Democrats to sway the midterm elections despite the fact that at the rate those refugees are moving, they wouldn’t reach the southern border of the US until well after the election. Or you know, falling back on the classic antisemitic trope that it was being funded by George Soros for the purpose of invading America for white genocide. And THEN the MAGAbomber shit happened. And the day after they caught him was when the shooting in Pittsburgh happened. And now here we are. I know there’s other incidents, I haven’t even mentioned the Brazilian election or Jamal Khashoggi or the murders of Gregory Bush and Vickie Jones in Kentucky. Point is you know as well as I do that we’re living in hellfire fanned joyfully by racists, antisemites, misogynists, homophobes, and transphobes on parade. Every bigotry since the dawn of whiteness is here, it’s in our face.

Meanwhile, I just spent part of my past weekend holding a friend while they cried and hyperventilated because of everything the fascists are doing to roll back trans rights, trying and failing not to weep openly myself because what the fuck am I supposed to say? That’ll it get better? That milquetoast Democrats nobody actually likes or is inspired by MIGHT sweep the Midterms and end the Trump administration? Or that one of those same Democrats MAY win in 2020 but the Republicans’s campaign of obstruction they waged in Obama’s tenure will just start all over again and inspire more right-wing hatred and oh, by the way, Brett Kavanaugh is still on the Supreme Court regardless? What? What do you say to the people you love when they’re scared that their very humanity will be made forfeit in Fascist America? I didn’t even have words this past Saturday for my sister or her parents who treat me like one of their own and opened my eyes to how wonderful Judaism could be and inspire me to convert and who I fear for every fucking day someone will do them like that monster who shot up Tree of Life and I won’t be able to do a fucking thing about it. All I could tell her was that I loved her and that I hoped she was having fun wherever she was. And y’know, post on the internet like I always do, seeing all the ghoulish displays of Right-wing antisemitism I’ve come to understand only too well come to the surface. If there’s any solace to be gained from this, it’s from watching Gab get deplatformed and watch its dipshit founder Andrew Torba beg his beloved leader Donald Trump for help but be ignored.

America has always had glaring bigotry problems but today it is governed by fascists, gleeful, triumphant fascists. That is the truth, but do our journalists say it? No. They dance around it still and use cutesy euphemisms when the President and his goons and sycophants lie to us. They even go on and on about how the administration is waging a war on journalism but they won’t even fight back in a meaningful way and just say the fascists are fascists! Worse still, organizations like the New York Times or NPR will run profile after profile on right-wing figures, allowing them to broadcast their views without any debate or repudiation, thus normalizing them in the public conscience.

I've long liked to keep my ear to the ground when it comes to the Right and observe their patterns and learn their tactics so I can know when they make pushes for the mainstream. It's how I knew what "alt-right" was before Hillary Clinton talked about it. It's how I've been aware what Gab was and what kind of people used it before the shooting over the weekend. It’s how I’ve recognized that the old tastemakers of the conservative movement from the Clinton and Bush years, guys like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are all biting Alex Jones�� style now and peddling conspiracy theories about Democrats because that shit fucking SELLS. I’m not a journalist, not a detective, I didn’t go to school for any of that. I’m just a millennial raised on the internet like many of my peers. I was also raised as a conservative Catholic and spent much of my adolescence with talk radio and Fox News in the background. I think that’s what started me down this path. It helped that I also was familiar with sites like 4chan and sorta came rehabilitated from channer culture when I first joined Tumblr back in 2011.

In the past three years or so, I have watched the kind of language and ideas that used to only be used by fringe kooks, away from "normie" eyes in forums and threads you would never go to, end up on the evening news. And now even folks left of center use that language. “Fake News.” “Snowflake.” “Triggered.” Plays on “Make America Great Again.” Sure they mostly do it ironically and I’m not gonna yell at anybody for it, especially when I’m guilty of it too, but I also know it means that American culture leans just a bit more right in the Trump era, no matter how hard neoliberal capitalism tries to make us think otherwise with woke branding. This is so stupid and I could easily get made fun of for this, but I feel like an undercover cop who's been under too long and is never gonna be the same because of what I've seen and how woefully unequipped our institutions were and are to combat it. This knowledge is a curse and has only made me miserable because it will never end and I can never stop. At the risk of my own sanity, I can’t stop. I can’t remain ignorant of what these jackals want to do. What they WILL do. I can’t just “self care” myself away from this.

And I’m angry. I’m angry all the time. I barely feel like myself anymore, I struggle to revert back to a “self” that existed before now. I struggle to enjoy things I love, even in the presence of the people I love. As much as I fear for the safety of my family, the one that matters, I also fear they won’t recognize me anymore before long. I don’t want my anger to be all there is.

Maybe I’m just depressed and it’ll pass.

Hey, if you read all the way through this little message in a bottle:

Here’s a good tweet by Rabbi Dunya Ruttenberg.

Here’s a link to the GoFundMe for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting.

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moved-to--mysticandskepticmuses · 7 years ago

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beneath the cut is a copy paste version of harley’s timeline as i’ve sorted for this blog and my rp purposes - it is super choppy and unfinished, it was delivered over discord while i was doing like five other things and brain dead; this is just a placeholder of it until i can write up something more cohesive / established.

she just didn’t want, didn’t need any reminders of the way things had been before her father had been creamed by one of many fat cats in their expensive cars and their diamond pink rings. wrong place, wrong time, her ASS. she’d never been any under delusions her father had been a saint. what she’d found when cleaning and packing to move from one shit hole to another had done nothing but clarify that some people in this world just had it coming. SHE WANTED TO THINK SHE WAS DITCHING THE BOARD GAMES, THE BARBIES, THE WHATEVER ELSE HE’D GIVEN HER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T WANT TO KEEP THINGS BOUGHT WITH DIRTY MONEY…THE TRUTH WAS SHE JUST DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING AT ALL THAT WOULD REMIND HER OF THE FACT THAT HE’D BE MISSING FROM THIS YEAR’S CHRISTMAS DINNER. AND EVERY ONE AFTER.

mmmhmokay so, she was a gymnast, like, super super super good, she was actually on the team to go to the olympics like a year or two after that too ugh im sorry all of this is going to be so fucking sporadic my brain is a mess

okay let me roll this back a pace

\so she grew up in a mostly normal two parent decent white collar life her mom was kind of distant and off putting but eh that's just the way it washer dad was an accountant / worked for the mob etc though she didn't find that out til later / it was mostly only suspicions no hard proof etc.they weren't rich they weren't poor she didn't have the best shit but she didn't go hungry either etc she did gymnastics and ballet and track and such she was really really good at gymnastics that ws where most of the free money and time went then her dad gets killed in a hit and run when she's like 12 ish her mom goes super stiff and just basically retreats from life as a whole, she gets super short tempered and any warmth there was just kinda fizzles out, she starts putting more and more pressure on harleen they don't have a nest egg, the mom didn't work, now she has to have an office job, they move to a shitty apartment in the wrong side of town, things are hard and rough and gritty at 14/15 harleen ends up on the team for the olympic gymnastics and blows out her right knee in the second event of the competition

needless to say she's a wreck and she's devastated and there goes everything she's ever worked for meanwhile her mom loses her shit and is like how am i supposed to pay for this how are we supposed to survive now because that was supposed to be their golden ticket so harleen kinda just has an inner mental breakdown and shuts down but just acts like it's no big deal its fine and just kind of self isolates and pushes herself with her recovery and therapy and ends up causing more damage in the long run but she wants to get better faster // which is all really moot because she's never going to be back to that level of competitiveness again and definitely not w/in that limited time frame that is the peak for gymanstics aka she was borderline too old by the time she made it to the olympics the first time so she pretty much ends up just having to rely on herself to take care of herself from that point on because her mom just basically likes to pretend she doesn't exist she throws herself into her schoolwork which -- she was always smart and liked books and school anyway but she really just sort of skimmed along with bare minimum because she was throwing herself into her gymnastics for so long she ends up graduating near the top of her high school class and between her gpa and her 'personal triumph / recovery' story whatever she ends up getting scholarships and grants for college she's always been very hyper sensitive / needy when it came to attention and praise / rewards she always had a lot of trouble with self-worth / needed external validation if she wasn't the best, or at the top of whatever she was doing, she doesn't feel like she's doing good enough / she's always always pushing herself

she finishes her degree early bc she just works her fucking ass off and ends up interning during her doctorate at arkham there's a lot of other misc shit in there of course i mean she has trouble with relationships she needs too much validation and she has too high of expectations for realistic anything she also keeps people at arms length bc she knows they're going to leave / end up disappointing her / end up being disappointed in her she's very obsessive / very orderly and proper with her life everything has its place she files her reports, everything is on schedule or ahead of it, everything is neat and clean, folded, put away, organized, so on because the more she can control it all the better she feels

like everything in her apartment is white or black everything is in cubbies and boxesher cabinet doors are glass etc. etc.neat, organized, tidy very sleek and modern her books are organized by size i mean just like epitome of obsessive she has schedules for everything she schedules time for reading and for her baths and studying and cooking and eating and she schedules the time she has to go out and socialize and and she's super fucking smart and she's really good at her job too, like, in the comics it's indicated that she successfully ( i mean as much as anybody can ever successfully treat) treats / rehabilitates two face and a couple others of the super whacked out bad guys -- at least temporarily -- during her time with them at arkham etc

SO then enters the joker and ???????he's literally the epitome of everything she isn't / everything she can't stand in anyone else ever?i mean he's literally chaos personified ok but he's this MYSTERY and he's chaotic and he's charming and he's enigmatic and he's SO FUCKING SMART even when he's trying to dumb himself down for the fun of it and he's just ? he's this huge fucking puzzle

and she becomes so obsessed with trying to figure it out trying to figure him outhow he works what made him this way who he is and he's so slippery and she gets so frustrated because what's real? what isn't? what's a game? what part is truth and what is lies?and she wants to figure him out / she wants to fix it / she wants to unravel it all and put it all back together

but he's just this tangled web of things that drive her crazy and it hits her obsessiveness so hard and he's so good at manipulation and playing people and he's so good at reading people and using people so he just knows how to push her buttons BUT this all ties back in because in the comics etc you remember that line from the blurb about the fat cats with their diamond pinky rings etc ?

at some point while he's luring her in etc.they're talking about things and i have always headcanoned that he did a lot of push and pull like hannibal lecter did with clarice like i'll show you mine if you show me yours type thing so he ends up learning stuff about her along the way too and one of their sessions, i figure it would be not too long before he convinces her to help him escape he's got a present for her too and it's the mob boss' pinky finger w/ the diamond ring, in the guy's embroidered handkerchief the one that killed her dad that he had killed or at least that's the implication

so yeah it's a really long explanation but that's the connection between that first blurb and the whole point of it being yeah he gives her the guy's pinky i headcanon that she wears that ring on her middle finger or thumb pretty much all the time after he's finally done with making her bonkers

#TIMELINE.#BIO.#WORK IN PROGRESS.#SEPTEMBER 2018.

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gunnerpalace · 8 years ago

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Thanks for being kind to my wallet man. Anyways, I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway by saying "you Ichirukis". I just came by your blog and you seem to be a pretty knowledgeable dude and thus I asked you a question. Hostile little shit? Really? I'm being called a godamn hopeless imbecile here. Maybe you've just read my msg in a different tone as there is an absence of non-verbal communication here. I didn't say anything about you owing me shit man, you just interpreted that way.

And when you are referring to normal people, there tends to be cross cultural differences sometimes. So whatever you consider as being a normal person might not be the same for somebody else. In your terms I sound and act like a hostile IH so I’m not considered a normal person right? I wasn’t paying too much attention to the Bleach media from start to finish so I don’t know all the nitty gritty details such as sales and such. But yeah you’re right. If you don’t want explain you don’t have to.

Oh my god, an apology. Well, now I’ve seen everything.

Alright, look. I’m having a bit of an experience at the moment, perhaps most accurately summarized by Jules from Pulp Fiction going “The truth is…you’re the weak, and I am the tyranny of evil men. But I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying real hard to be the shepherd.” So I’m going to accept your apology, and take it for granted that you didn’t mean to come across nearly as condescendingly as you did.

Given that, I too will apologize for my behavior. When I see aggression, I get aggressive. It’s just habit. Trigger-happy IFF. So, I’m sorry for insulting you with gratuitous ad hominem. Let me advise that you consider your tone more carefully in the future.

With that said, let me attempt to answer your original question sincerely in a compact fashion without writing a goddamn thesis, because I still don’t want to put in the time to do that. Bleach had exactly three things going for it:

The uniqueness of the IchiRuki relationship and their individual characters. Ichigo and Rukia are unique because they are somewhere between being deuteragonists and Rukia being a supporting protagonist. I would say that she is a “hidden deuteragonist,” in that her influence is constantly felt, even when she isn’t present. Ichigo is not a normal shounen protagonist, like Gintoki, Luffy, Naruto, Goku, or Kenshiro. He doesn’t have a vision or a goal, and he’s a terrible tsundere. Rukia, however, does. Rukia sets Ichigo on his way and enables him to do what he does, and she repeatedly keeps him in check when he flounders. She is what enables him to function. He is what enables her to influence things. They are two parts of a whole, and neither is operational or very effective without the other. This “split soul” phenomenon is unique to them, was a hallmark of the early manga, and echoed on throughout. Although its promise was by no means always lived up to, it was there, and it’s a major part of why IR is a thing.

Character design in general. I’ll give Kubo this: he’s usually good at fashion and drafting relatively memorable characters. (Even if he starts to recycle faces after awhile; it’s not like Dragon Ball/Z/GT/etc., One Piece, and so on don’t.) They tend to have unique designs, if not wholly unique or fleshed out personalities. He’s very good at creating the illusion of depth using them. Over the run of the series, pretty much everyone was able to find a character they liked, if not several.

Mystery. A lot of the shit that happens in Bleach is unexplained, or was kicked down the road for as long as possible before being explained. A lot of it was never explained, stuff like “What was Yoruichi’s bankai? / What was her zanpakutou? / Why can she turn into a cat?” “Who were the other two Great Noble Houses?” “What was the deal with the Soul King?” “How did Soul Society really get started?” “What was up with Komamura?” “What was up with Don Kanonji?” “What was up with Ururu and Jinta?” The list goes on and on. Mystery is alluring, as the writers of Lost quickly figured out.

You will notice what I didn’t mention: fighting, worldbuilding, and plot. So let’s go over those quickly.

Fighting: Bleach’s fights suck. Someone dramatically teleports behind someone else leading to a shocked expression. Someone slices someone else’s arm off. Whoever reveals how their powers work first loses. Everybody gets new, “hiddener, worser” powers. It wasn’t so bad through the Soul Society arc because it was still fresh, but the more power-creep set in, the worse it got. Bleach doesn’t use powers in interesting ways like One Piece or JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. It doesn’t handle a constant ramping up of the stakes as well as Dragon Ball/etc. It doesn’t have the technical interest of Naruto. It’s extremely boring and repetitive. As a battle manga, it’s shit.

Worldbuilding: Bleach’s worldbuilding is a shadow puppet show. It’s literally Plato’s Allegory of the Cave: the illusion of depth and meaning which you only process as such because nothing calls it into question. This isn’t to say Kubo didn’t plan some things (I would say that the theological essence of Soul Society and its cycle of reincarnation makes more sense than most organized religions, since it answers a lot of basic questions like “Where do new souls come from?”) but there were many things he simply couldn’t be bothered with.

Plot: It’s rather apparent, and has been for a number of years, that Kubo reshuffled the plot on the way to the conclusion of the Soul Society arc. That said, the plot was still good up until then. The Arrancar arc was serviceable, Hueco Mundo was bad, and things went downhill from there. The reappearance of the Quincy in Thousand-Year Blood War was a massive retcon and plot hole that makes no real sense.

Now here’s the thing. The Mystery aspect of Bleach was bound up in the Plot and Worldbuilding. The more the latter two fell apart, the more the former became threadbare and could be clearly seen as an effort to string readers along. So much of Bleach’s “promise” turned out to be a polar bear on a tropical island.

The Character design also became wrapped up in Worldbuilding and Fighting, as characters often had no other means to advance, grow, or define themselves, and were relegated to bit parts other than to turn up every two years in some insignificant tussle. The continuing cast bloat only made this worse, as did the dramatically skewed nature of fan favorites.

What didn’t change was IchiRuki. I would argue it didn’t advance as it should have, and rather more objectively, every effort was made to push them into the background in favor of the other five elements, but they were at least consistent throughout, which is why so many people looked forward to their interactions, no matter how fleeting. It was solid all the way up until the final 5 or so chapters, once Kubo had clearly decided to implement his subversive “ending” (what with Tsukishima taking Rukia’s primary role, and so on).

Anybody who wasn’t around for that reason was holding onto vain hope about the Mystery, because of sunk cost fallacy, or were just trying to support their favorite characters or other ships. That’s the god’s honest truth. Bleach’s numbers started to tank after Soul Society and were abysmal by the time of Lost Substitute Shinigami. The sudden end of Bleach was Shueisha finally pulling the plug and disconnecting life support.

Now, you can say that nothing I’ve said here is proof, and that would be true, this is all summary. The proof is out there though (although I cannot be bothered to assemble it all for you), and I think any honest reader would admit the truth of my analysis even without it.

tl;dr IchiRuki is the only consistent positive of Bleach, which is otherwise a subpar fashion manga which never deserved to be counted among the big three on any other merits.

#Asks

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i-would-rather-be-queen · 8 years ago

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Replies to Anons

I always enjoy hearing from you guys. I’m incredibly lucky that you all like to chat with me, so I’m terribly sorry for the delay in replying. Things aren’t back to normal yet, but I’m doing the best I can. :(

If you sent something over the past few weeks PLEASE check under the link. I’d hate for you to think I left you out. If you sent a request, I’ll be updating my lists. ^^

Thank you for all the lovely messages sending your best wishes. Each and every one of them was very much appreciated. <3

It's 3am and I've had such a crappy night but I came here to reread some of your stories and now I feel much better :) As if I've been wrapped in a warm blanket and thrown into a pile of puppy cuddles <3 Thank you for sharing your writings with us <3333

Ah I love it!!! Warm blankets and puppy cuddles are my goal! ^^ I’m very sorry you had rough go of it, but I’m touched that my stories could help in any small way. Thank you for letting me know they were a comfort. (And that you reread them too--gah, my heart) *hugs*

Hiiii! It's me again, sorry I haven't messaged you in a while (I've been somewhat busy asdfiasoihsa) I wanted to tell you that I think your CNBlue's "Shaving them" was really cute! But at the same time I kept imagining that I'd be too nervous to place anything sharp on someone else's skin. I dunno why, I just think I'd be too afraid of accidentally cutting them *oh Lord no*

Ok, I’m thinking this is Sea anon but please let me know if I’m wrong. ^^ That’s why I like that particular reaction so much. It’s a trust/vulnerability thing not just for them but yourself. And that is THE BIGGEST kink I have other than my massive, mountainous hurt/comfort one. (Which really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that has spent more than five minutes on this blog but I digress...lol)

You're back! I'm glad to hear you're feeling better too. (I hope you didn't get this nasty flu, bc that's what laid me up for a week... So horrible) I just read your BTS Namjoon fic and I didn't know I needed that but I love it so much! *rambling* but I really am glad to hear you're back and better and I can't wait to see more works of yours!! ~Tennis Anon 🎾

That isn’t what I had but since I work in a doctor office I know it’s been going around and it’s awful! I’m so sorry you had that happen to you. I hope you’ve completely recovered. ^^ And thank you for liking the Rap Mon fic!!! I had to let my nerdy side out to play so I’m happy it connected with you too! <3

I've been essentially bedridden for two days and your Drabble expansions were the only thing keeping me from going stir crazy, so thank you for that c: I honestly love rereading your writings, they still evoke the same emotion that I got when I read them for the first time ^^ ~Tennis Anon 🎾

That’s so sweet of you to say that my stories hold up to rereading them. I really appreciate hearing that and that they evoke feelings. I’ve said this before, but it’s really hard to tell if the emotions are still there after editing it a hundred times. And it’s funny I left a similar message to another fanfic writer (anime) myself this weekend. Is that writing karma? ^^

This is my favourite account, thank you for appreciating the groups that need more love

Really?! Wow, thank you! I‘m happy to share the small fandom love! ^^ Thank you for being here.

Hello! You're probably busy, but I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I hope everything is okay. ☺️

I gotta say, this message came right after I got sick and it really touched me because I didn’t think anybody other than the people I message with here would notice me being gone. Thank you so much for thinking of me. *hugs*

I thought of an interesting idea and would love for you to write it!! ^^ Can I request a Monsta X reaction where you found out that they are actually robots with human emotions?? thanks so much!!

Yaaaas! *high fives you* Someone else who loves robots! I definitely have robot/android on my list but will probably end up making a few scenarios out of it rather than a reaction. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it. ^^ I have a huge list of supernatural AU ideas so some members may get more than one.

Welcome back! I'm sorry you were sick, but I hope you're feeling better.

Thank you, honey! I’m working on it. *hugs*

Health is the most important! Hope you'll recover as soon as possible!!!❤️With love from Aries anon🐏

Thank you! <3 I thought of you while I was sick, lol. I thought I need my fellow Aries to tell me I should be kicking butt right now. ^^

Glad to see you're ok! I wanted to send something just to ask how you were doing, but I was afraid it would seem like I was just asking for the sake of more stories and not yourself 😩 ~ Sam anon

Oh, I would NEVER think that of you dear heart. I don’t know you in person but I know you better than that. ^_~ Thank you for thinking of me Sam anon. *hugs*

Wahh you are the sweetest bean in existence T^T I whole-heartedly appreciate your replies to my spazzing asks <3 You're so kind to take the time to answer them and provide links *cries* I've been running around all day between classes but now I'll set up shop on the couch and watch those videos! I seriously can't thank you enough for being so sweet and helpful, not just to me, but to all who drop by. Your blog is such a lovely place to visit bc of how kind you are <3 sending hugs~🐨❤️-koala anon

You’re quite welcome!!! It’s fun to talk about kpop with people, especially since I don’t have anyone irl to do so with. I hope you enjoyed the links and I’m holding on to your other message because I think I’m going to make a pic spam of my favorite pictures for you. <3<3<3 (And I’m happy you enjoy visiting here--I want people to feel that the environment is safe and friendly.)

hi, i'm looking for a particuar fanfic blog,only i can't quite remember the name,i THINK it had like a flower kind of thing in the url or maybe in the blog pic...i only remember reading a particular scenario that was about Ken being like a fortune teller and the OC went to him to look at her future or something?? ^^;; i was wondering if u ever came across this scenario or blog

Hi honey, I’m sorry. I haven’t read much kpop fanfic lately. I wish I could help. Good luck!

#so sorry for the wait guys #sea anon #Tennis Anon #aries anon #Koala Anon #sam anon #replies

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