#I am so sad it's a gem one
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I am very happy for aether gene expansion in general but the new gene is so?? lovely?? Which is surprising for me
My first thought about it was lichen and moss:
Driftwood ripple /moss laquer/ algae ornaments
nature faded eyes
Soil tapir/ forest paisley/ olive ornaments
nature unusual eyes
Want them both so badly but the price
#I am so sad it's a gem one#I mainly get money from glimmer and gloom so getting even just for one dragon is pain#flightrising#flight rising
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I have now watched the Rogue Trader christmas special with some of the voice actors and it was hilarious. I decided to once again put my very rudimentary editing skills to the test and have picked out my favourite Marzipan lines for you. Enjoy!
Do keep in mind though that these are not polished game lines of course, this was a table top game. I do recommend you go watch the full stream yourself, it is very good from everyone.
#warhammer 40k rogue trader#voice lines#marazhai aezyrraesh#what a character#i just couldn't resist picking these gems out they're very good#i am so sad it was just the one short episode
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There are many small moments from the past that I want to write for this au but I'm afraid I barely have the time to make the planning posts and work on the fic itself, so I don't know when I will ever find the time.
#GG rivals au#the only fic i've worked on that is not the main work is the one where gem and etho meet again for the first time#but i would love to write pearl and scott's meeting#and a scene where mumbo takes care of etho when his pain flares up#scott taking his friends to meet his family#etho and joel's meeting#many moments from lizzie and joel's past#and so many more things#that I am simply too busy to write and it makes me so sad
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I love this movie about.... zoro's past boyfriend being taken over by a curse
#zoro having a friend from his childhood seems ooc. thay guy had kuina and thats it. he is weird and has been#this movie and the last one started the same. nami has an ides for money and robin corroborates it with some facts and there they go#'he has already cut ties with you loser pirates' lmao harsh#alos zoro vs sanji.... got cooked....#usopp jumping after luffy akdhakdjka 💀💀💀#'cooking keeps my mind off the pain' 🚬🚬 he is so upset about his bf#zoro is smelling something fishy bc he always does but is going thru with it.... but now they have touched luffy so i sense this is it#luffy being dumb as rocks i miss you. well he isnt dumb but idk enjoys being silly too much at the expense of his and other's safety#i am sure they have went to every important place that will be relevant in the future#also this reminds me of the sims 4 game pack jungle adventure. many such cases#zoro making another promise... he has too many.... well if he turned evil its kinda sad....#sanji saying 'promise 🚬' exactly..... more bitterness....#luffy stumbling into the gems qjdjaksjk#oh no maya is going to sacrifice herself for the good of the island.... meanwhile luffy with the gems jumping out of a geyser: 😁#luffy is so sweet and earnest in these movies... he says what he means and everything.....#this boy reminds zoro of saga as a kid.... omg... i was right zoro didnt have a friend as a child... he had a bf...... this is so sad#luffy carrying people like a sack of potatoes.... compelling...#also zoro lost to saga.... his streak is OVER!!! this sacred sword power is really cool looking... cutting people with a swirl of the hand#omg emotional swordfight under the full red moon..... zoro with the stars behind him.... he got the same scar as zoro omg.... AND DIED????#thats why he called him there.... bc he is steong enough to win.... cant believe they killed maya and zoro's bf... nvm he is alive.... ofc#he isnt even hungry... his tummy aches just by seeing his ex bf with a girl.... after they swordfought under the moonlight....#sanji is also pissy ajshaja#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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Upcoming Updates
Hey there my whumpers and Tumblr buddies!! Thought I would give you all a quick run down for my future posting schedule!!
Good news, i will have one again! :D
It’s gonna be equally spirratic as the last one. And HOPEFULLY i will move on from the “once in a pink moon” kinda system I have going on rn.
#I’ve been hyper focussed on school and film#bunch of big exams last week#and a film competition today!#sadly my team (of two) aka my one friend and I got fifth. Which considering the competition it really good#But our other two friends GOT FIRST 😆#it’s been six hours since i got home and I’m still reeling. In a good way#the four of us… idk how to explain it#but you know when you find your people. And stuff just starts to click. And even though u feel the smidge of jealousy and sadness of loss#the feeling of pride and platonic love is just so much deeper. That’s the word. Love. I love Then to Jupiter and back. We hugged for like#6mins. Just chatting. Happy for one another. I was trying not to cry happy tears. 😂#they are moving to provincials in a month! And my friend and I plan to get them ready for it. ☺️#anyways#Casual gem life update#whump community#whump blog#tumblrpost#wtf tumblr#tumblr stuff#tumblr#whump people#Side note: I am incredibly sleeper deprived 😘#competition#started at 7. I was up at 4. And I went to bed last night 11.
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im legit getting back into gmcfosho lord help me nao
#dont tell me that boombadoom isn't a masterpiece#so lowd is a hidden gem that i thought got deleted and i was so so so sad#can not stop quoting that line about men's socks#if you pull up these pants you see MEN'S socks so ENH back up off me ENH don't back talk me ENH you the fragile type you might catch these#hands and get packed up softly IM GROWN >:(#when that one came out i was not even grown and now i am and i do wear men's socks sometimes it's the prophecy
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Fast makes trash, even gems take a few million years to form, dont rush yourself.
Trust me, if you do that, you'll never be satisfied with it.
-🥘Stew
you are so right actually. stew for motivational speaker 2023
#very long tags watch out#m1d : [chats]#stew🥘 anon#this is me saying i HATE rhinedottir with a BURNING PASSION >:(#part of the reason the albedo piece has stagnated is bc i need to do research on him and ‘’’’subject two’’’’ and i am gonna boil rhine alive#‘ooo what if i took this ancient artifact and dumped my sun on my friend and her daughter’ literally shut up. nobody likes you.#‘he he he i know i created THIS one first but i like THIS one better so THAT one can be subject two :)’ i hate you. genuinely. you are awful#‘what if i told my dragon son to go above ground knowing he would die and lie to him abt it? that’s smart’ ITS NOT GO BACK TO UR CAVE RHINE#many emotions. none of them are good ones.#**talking about genshin impact** why is the lore abt khaenri’ah so vague???#shout out to the beloved soldiers manning the genshin wiki pages. i am giving you an honorary medal of honor#also i understand and register that i can’t rush myself to be creative but like. this is a genuine hobby of mine and i feel gross if i don’t#brain says ‘if you don’t write you’ll be sad :)’ and then just. gives me nothing to write—#nyway. probably needed to hear this. thanks stew; genuinely#also ‘even gems take a few million years to form’ is so true. everything i’ve written i’ve harvested from the ground with my sinner hands#stole from the earth to give to the man; society prospers off the death of the land#< or whatever. that’s not a quote i just just woke up so m feelin cryptic.
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The Colors of the Moots ask game
Lemon - idk but like you seem really sour and scary Yellow - every time i see you on my dash you're always so happy and it's so lovely! Cyber - when the frick are you offline? like tell me when, i need to know for your sanity!!! do you even have it??? Goldenrod - i really wanna sit next to you and watch a sunset/sunrise. or maybe just look at you. Orange - if you were a fruit you'd be a orange. no explanation. Rust - you seem like you're hanging on by a thread. Mahogany - let's go on a late night drive together and listen to one of your playlists. Red - i am so in love with you. first it was ironic, now it's unironic. so in love. Ruby - you are such a gem, you deserve so much better <3 Pink - biting you biting you biting you biting you licking you biting you biting you Violet - honestly i just wanna kiss you just to shut you up. yeah. Blue - you are the sad mood. the crying moot, even. i am offering a tissue in this trying time. and maybe a hug. only if you want ofc Navy - i have a feeling you hate jeans. Lime - i can't tell if you're serious or what but i am avidly waiting your next post. Green - wanna go touch grass with me? Jade - honestly you have some of the best takes on this hellsite.
#ask game#ask games#rb bait#anons welcome!#spent like 30 mins trying to figure out why the colors weren't working#this is my pride and joy#my own ask game <3
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when will the jyushi sunset card come home :((
#im so sad rn arb i just want his smile PLS#on one hand there are like 3 diff bdays this june so ig i can just wait for the 1k gems from each before the month ends#but like .... jyushi .... :(((((#i think id be devastated if i didnt get him ngl#(then inb4 the july cards are bb sunset or smth i am DOOMED)#gacha shit#gaming hours :pp
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How would Benedict Bridgerton court you... HCS
Masterlist
You both first crossed glances at a ball, you were not a debutant, just passing around, just like his sister Eloise, you weren't much interested on claiming attention, but you catched his.
His first thought when he saw you in the back of the salon, tapping your feet to the rythm of the song while looking at a big painting was that he needed to paint you.
He spent the rest of the night, admiring you from the distance, until you both almost bumped into each other.
Inmediatly he took the chance and asked you to dance.
It was the funniest night you both had, cause after the dance, you talked about art, and drinked, and danced again, all night until your mother decided it was time to leave.
After that night, you didn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, you almost thought he forgot about you.
The thing was that he was collecting information about you, everything he could find that he knew you would like.
Then a bouquet of your favourite flowers came to your door, signed by the name of "Your artist", you knew it was him, but he surely wants to be romantic so you let him be.
A couple of days later, your favourite crystals, and then gems, and fabrics, and art supplies.
With this routine of secretism, a couple of months passed by with his gifts demostrating that he knows you.
You saw each other a couple more times during balls and dances, until you decided to approach him again.
"Why do you sent me notes but not talk to me?"
"I want you to see that i can know you better than anyone, plus i want you to be as crazy in love for me as i am for you."
A smile escaped both of your lips, suddently you had an idea.
You dropped your fan carefully and he inmediatly get down to pick it up.
"So... that's how you like to play then." he told you with a smirk.
"You said you wanted me to get crazy about you, who says i can't play that game too?"
"Then we both must play."
The once innocent game of knowing each other turned into a rollercoaster of temptation.
Small touches while dancing, innapropiate comments while talking in public, purposely moving to the corner of the room to have more privacy with your not so discreet behaviour.
(I firmly believe that Benedict is a switch with a very brat behaviour, so picture that)
Until your mother decided that you were going to marry a noble.
Thats when the game stopped and started to get serious.
Benedict distanced himself from you and you got so sad from the lonelyness that awaited your future that you wouldn't leave your room.
Your mother didn't let you alone in any social act, that means that you can't talk to him... ike that could make a change.
One week until the wedding and everything feels bad when suddently you received a bouquet of your favourite flowers with a note.
"I will not cut you like this flowers, but i will keep you to myself no matter how, with love Your Artist.
You almost broke in tears right there, your mother entered the room with your future husband to finish some business.
They didn't even care to ask you what happened, the just talked about your future like nothing.
One of the servants announced Benedict and everyone on the room turned around.
"I am here to propose."
"Too late, she is my fiancee." you couldn't believe what was happening.
"I double the endowment, my mother and brother approved it."
You know your mother will marry you to the best match she could find, which means the one who could provide more money.
After verifying everything was right, your mother inmediatly sent out your now ex-fiancee and welcomed with open arms your new husband.
"How?" you asked him, still processing.
"I intended to send you that flowers yesterday, i don't know why they got today." he sounded more concerned about his time planning that your tear, "Oh, you mean all the other things, sorry for ignoring you, once you got engaged my family forced me to separate myself to not staint your virtue... so i was convincing them to let me marry you."
"I..." you kissed him on the lips with passion, with all the emotions you've been keeping inside.
"I think we should wait to the weeding night, in a week." your eyes opened surprised while he justs smirks, "I didn't want any longer to kall you mine, so i managed to get a wedding licency too."
"I love you."
"I know, and i love you too."
#the bridgertons#the bridgertons x reader#the bridgertons x you#the bridgertons imagine#the bridgertons headcanons#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton headcanons#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton#bridgerton x you
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my favourite moments from the steven universe comic issue 24, by grace kraft & rii abrego
incredibly sweet pearlrose moments & like i said: it’s so them. but also, the connverse parallels ?? the way that pearl looks over at them and it obviously makes her a little sad, but she feels better once she’s with garnet & ame and they’re all wearing flower crowns ?? they’re so unbelievably sweet, i love this comic so much. and i have such a soft spot for all the crystal gems this is why i will defend them so much people they’re just grieving sapphic outcasts who never got to be kids (alright edit: i described myself, time to do some psychiatric research on comfort characters)
[image description: the first image depicts the first part of a comic with the characters pearl and rose quartz in a forest at night. pearl narrates, “i told her that the grove of flowers reminded me of her, and she laughed.” rose quartz is holding some flowers and looking at pearl. in the next panel, rose begins picking flowers while pearl watches. rose explains to pearl that she learned something from local humans. rose then places a flower crown on pearl's head, and pearl looks surprised. the last panel shows rose saying, "thank you, my pearl..." while touching pearl's chin.
the second image depicts the next part of the comic. rose and pearl smile at each other while wearing flower crowns. glowing insects are attracted to the flowers. rose and pearl watch the insects flutter around. rose and pearl dance together through the glowing forest. pearl narrates that it's a night she'll never forget.
the third image depicts pearl in the future, years after rose’s death. she watches connie and steven laughing in the same place where she had the memory with rose quartz. amethyst is sitting at the other side of the glowing forest with garnet, and she says, “hey, p, come over here for a sec!” in the next panel, pearl sits down with garnet and amethyst, who gives pearl a flower crown. pearl says, “well, you both certainly deserve one as well” and she gives flower crowns to garnet and amethyst. the final panel shows the three of them smiling at each other with their flower crowns. end of image description.]
#pearlrose comic moments!#pearlrose#steven universe#rose quartz#pearl su#crystal gems#pink diamond#rose quarts su#pearl x rose#garnet steven universe#garnet#amethyst steven universe#amethyst su#steven universe comics#oh i love this#garnet su#connverse#connie maheswaran
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THE PEOPLES PRINCESS
Reader x feyd rautha smut
Summary: you get married off by your father to secure alliances. Despite you knowing your new husbands reputation, you finds yourself drawn to him.
➽─────────────────────❥
As you stepped onto the arid planet of Arrakis, the sun beat down relentlessly, casting harsh shadows across the shifting dunes. You, a princess, were escorted by your father, the ruler of your home planet, to marry the infamous Feyd Rautha. Your first encounter with Feyd was chilling. He stood tall and imposing, his eyes cold as they met yours. You couldn't help but feel a shiver run down your spine at the intensity of his gaze.
Throughout the preparations for the wedding, Feyd remained distant, barely acknowledging your presence. Amidst the bustling preparations, your father sought you out, his regal bearing softened by a look of paternal concern. He approached you with a tenderness that belied his stoic exterior, his eyes filled with a mixture of pride and sadness.
"My dear," he began, his voice gentle yet tinged with gravity, "today, you embark on a new journey, one that will shape the course of your destiny."
You met his gaze, a swirl of emotions churning within you. "Father," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, "I know not what the future holds, but I will face it with courage and grace."
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he reached out to grasp your hand. "You are a beacon of strength and resilience, my child," he said, his voice filled with pride. "No matter what lies ahead, remember that you are never alone."
Tears welled in your eyes as you embraced him.
Your wedding gown, made from the finest silks and embellished with gorgeous lace and brilliant gems, was a vision of grandeur and elegance. Its flowing procession, glistening in the intense desert sun, followed you like a moonlit river. As you stood in the grand hall, waiting for the wedding ceremony to begin you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness, knowing that once the ceremony commenced, there would be no turning back.
But amidst the fear, there was a glimmer of hope. Perhaps, against all odds, this union with Feyd would bring you the happiness and fulfillment you had always longed for. But you know the man that will soon be your husband is no kind man. But as you stood before him at the altar, his eyes locked onto yours with a fierce determination. When he leaned in to kiss you, you felt a rush of lust.
On your wedding night, as the grandeur of the ceremony faded into the intimacy of the chambers, you found yourself alone with Feyd. The flickering candlelight casting shadows across the room, adding to your senses heightened.
Feyd, with his usual air of confidence, approached you. His eyes, sharp and penetrating, seemed to pierce through the facade you tried so desperately to maintain. He noticed the tremble in your hands, the uneasiness that lingered in your of your gaze.
"You're scared," he observed, his voice a low, rumbling growl that sent a shiver down your spine.
You nodded, unable to deny the truth of his words. "I am," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. Feyd closed the distance between you, his presence startling in its intensity, his lips twisted into a knowing smile. He said, "Fear can be a powerful motivator," with an a hint of humor in his voice. "But it can also be mastered."
With a swift yet gentle motion, he reached out to cup your face, his touch surprisingly tender against your skin. His eyes bore into yours with an unwavering gaze, as if daring you to challenge him, to defy the inevitable.
Feyd's eyes raked over your body, his gaze lingering on the curve of your hips and the swell of your breasts.
His voice was low and husky, his words a command.
"Strip." The word hung in the air like an order, leaving no room for negotiation or hesitation. You hesitated briefly before complying with Feyd's demand. You unbuttoned your dress, letting it fall to the floor in a pool of fabric. Underneath you wore nothing but lace underwear and stockings that accentuated every curve on your body.
Feyd's eyes roamed over your body, his gaze intense and unwavering. "I want you to know that I am not a man who will be gentle with you," he said in an even tone as if it were simply stating the obvious.
"I will take what I want, and you are to do as I say." The words hung in the air like a threat.
His gaze was intense, his voice commanding. You couldn't help but feel a sense of unease at the way he spoke to you. The words were harsh and demanding, leaving no room for negotiation or compromise.
You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to process what he had just said. The weight of his words hung heavy on the air between us and for a moment | felt trapped by them.
"I understand," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
"I will do as you say." The words were barely out of your mouth before Feyd's hand was on the back of your neck, his grip firm and unyielding.
He pulled you closer to him, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both demanding and possessive. His tongue invaded your mouth with an almost brutal forcefulness as he claimed it for himself.
His other hand found its way to your breast, his fingers pinching and twisting the nipple until you gasped in pain.
The pain was sharp and intense, but it also sent a strange rush of pleasure through you. You found yourself responding to his touch in ways that surprised even you.
His hands roamed over your body, exploring every curve and crevice as if he were mapping out a territory. He pulled you closer to him until his hardness was pressed against the soft folds of your sex.
You could feel the heat radiating from him, his desire for you palpable. His hands moved down to your hips and he lifted you up so that only the tip of his cock was inside you.
He held you there, teasingly close to the edge of pleasure. "Do you want this?" he asked in a low voice that sent shivers down your spine.
"Do you want me to take what I need from you?" The words were a command, not a question. The words were barely out of your mouth before Feyd's grip on you tightened and he thrust into you with a force that left you gasping for air. He fucks you hard and fast, his hips slamming into you with a force that left your body trembling. The pain was intense but it only seemed to fuel the fire of desire burning within him as he continued to fuck you relentlessly.
You could feel the wetness between your legs, a testament to how turned on you were by his rough treatment.
His hands roamed over your body, leaving bruises and marks that would be a reminder of this night for days to come.
Days passed after the wedding night, and you found yourself adjusting to life as the wife of Feyd Rautha. One evening, as you sat alone in the grand hall of the palace, Feyd approached you with a quietly. His usual stoic demeanor softened slightly as he took a seat beside you, his presence commanding yet strangely comforting.
“May I join you?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly, betraying a hint of vulnerability beneath the surface.
You nodded, surprised by his sudden display of openness. "Of course," you replied, unable to hide the shyness in your voice.
For a moment, silence hung heavy between you, the only sound the soft rustle of fabric and the distant hum of activity within the palace walls. And then, with a hesitant sigh, Feyd spoke, his words measured yet tinged with emotion. "I know I am not what you expected," he began, his gaze fixed on some distant point beyond the horizon. "I am not known for my warmth or compassion, but know that I will do everything in my power to protect you, to keep you safe from harm."
"I believe you husband," you replied softly, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his arm.
#feyd x you#feyd rautha#feyd x reader#feyd oneshot#feyd smut#dune part 2#dune movie#dune part two#feyd rautha x reader#feyd rautha x you
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THE MOMENT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR, FINALLY FINISHED THE DESIGN OF ASTER YESSSSSS ✨✨✨✨✨✨❤❤
This design belongs to the Wish rewrite called "The kingdom of wishes" (Written by @annymation and soon illustrated by @emillyverse and me)
Sorry for the delay, but this guy had so many things to draw and I also had a thousand ideas that it took me a while to capture them all (4 drawings wow, even I'm surprised lol)
Now after this introduction I will tell you the procedure of its design :]
2D MODEL:
-Maybe some don't notice it, but for the 2D drawing of Aster I didn't add many shadows, because in the classic Disney movies the animation doesn't have many shadows if we look closely, this is for several reasons (at that time they had to inking FRAME BY FRAME, can you imagine how much longer it would have taken to add detailed shadows? I really have respect for the animators)
(Here are some examples of what I'm trying to explain)
-As I said before, I didn't detach myself much from the concept art of the movie, I just added some other details that occurred to me, Anny and Emy.
-We decided that his cape would have the constellations of the signs of the zodiac (It was Emy's idea), which in the final result are on the cape, the constellations are noticeable more or less depending on Aster's mood.
-In the Wish rewrite it is mentioned that Aster's hair is like a candle (Reference to Hades) so I decided not to add the lineart in that part
His hair changes depending on his emotions, but not only that, but also his lineart, the calmer he is, the cleaner his animation will be, however with strong emotions (anger, sadness, nervousness) his details will be more neglected, especially when He is REALLY angry, by the way I made his hair look like a flame to give more drama to his design and also make a reference to Ember from Elemental
And as a final detail, the star-shaped gem that she has as a brooch changes color, just like her earrings.
3D MODEL:
-When Aster disguises himself as a human, his details on his clothes would disappear and the shape of his accessories would change to ones without a star shape, also the tone of yellow would look duller, you know so as not to draw attention (although he is dressed like a prince with a giant cape, the boy doesn't know how to hide the truth very well lmao)
-In general, it's just that the design becomes simpler, the only thing that changes is her hair that is no longer a flame, her freckles that are no longer little stars, her clothes no longer have so many details and her mark on her eye disappears( ̄▽ ̄) .
By the way, I wanted to thank @the-autistic-idiot for giving us the great idea of Aster having a star-shaped mark on his eye :D.
-Also, I think that those who have seen my other Wish redesigns are wondering why it seems like I had spit a rainbow at Aster's 3D drawings, what happened is that when I was painting my neurons said ✨Change your coloring✨ and well, The drawing in the end came out like this, although I honestly like it better, it better represents how I draw in a traditional way
Yes, basically the coloring of my drawings is as if a unicorn had spit on them lol
FINAL COMMENTS:
-It was very fun to draw Aster! The boy really has a lot of changes, but thanks to him I already discovered my digital drawing style so I am satisfied.
-Again sorry for the delay, I know that for many Aster must be their favorite character so I hope your wait was worth it :]
See you next time!✨✨
#disney wish#wish 2023#disney#wish movie#sketch#wish#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#drawing#star wish#starboy#human star#wish star#starsha#star redesing#the kingdom of wishes#the kingdom of wishes fandom#the kingdom of wishes au#starboy wish#starboy x asha#asha and starboy#wish concept art#asha x star#wish asha#wish disney#disney fanart#disney movies#disney animation#walt disney animation studios
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Broken heart
So basically, ive been thinking abt what it would be like if spinel had her gem cracked and drew a lil thing. Heres some fun stuff i thought of:
Obviously, her limbs get uncontrolably noodly like amethyst's did, goes all over the place. Her limbs give out and she falls to the ground like sad spaguetti
Her pigtails stop defying gravity and are always down
One of her eyes is always in those crazy spirals, while the other is blanc (i imagine she might not be able to see very well)
Her tear streaks keep running
Her mouth movements become a lot more exagerated whenever she speaks. I like to tuink her accent gets a little thicker as well and harder to understand. Also maybe she starts speaking backwards like ame did as well?
I had like a whoooole scenario where she got her gem cracked, and started thinking up ways where it would mess with her.
(It also reminded me of an idea i had a while ago of an AU of the movie where she had her gem cracked and it just made her crazier lol) i think its a fun thing to explore
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I am so sad this was a one episode thing because they gave me the possibility of a Gem and Joel team up in a life series only to take it away from me minutes after and now I will NEVER recover
#traffic smp#trafficblr#traffic series#life series smp#life series#joel smallishbeans#geminitay#real life smp
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To Be Alone With You (Part Five)
Anthony Bridgerton x female!sharma!sister!reader
Benedict Bridgerton x reader
Warnings: ANGST, ANGST, oh and more ANGST, Benedict and reader gets closer, reader is heartbroken, so much crying, talk of betrayal
Summary: Weeks after Anthony "dumped" you so he could be more serious in his courtship with your sister, you finally tell him that it is time that you both move on in an emotional confrontation.
I'm so sorry that it got so long. I hope that it's good given that I wrote this at like 12 am.
Song that I feel relates to it in a sense:
Illicit Affairs (Taylor Swift)
Tag List: @shealuna, @m-rae23, @littlepeanut03, @aellabridgerton, @sydney-m, @faatxma, @wildthoughtnananna, @uraesthete, @themadhattersqueen, @sydney-m, @theantiquehobbit, @theroyalmanatee ,@urfavnoirette , @budugu, @helen06dreamer, @galactict3a
The days passed. The days turned to weeks. The weeks turned into two months. Your days drug on as you prepared yourself for the next outing with your family. You faked a smile, beaming at the right time. Looking at your sisters, smiling and giggling over the hundreds of letters that Anthony wrote to Edwina.
You were staring out the window when you heard your name being called.
"Dear sister, have you read this new letter that Lord Bridgerton sent to me," Edwina beamed like a girl in love.
You turned your head to her, a small sad smile graced your face.
"No, I hadn't."
"I most certainly do not want to." Is what you wanted to say. You wanted to tell her how Anthony only makes those promises of love to you when you are both wrapped at the waist in the sheets of his bed.
Instead you tell her that you were overcome with sleep and preferred to go back to your bedroom. Standing up, you leave the room and put your hand over your mouth as a sob threatens to escape.
You sighed against the bedroom door when it closed and you let the tears fall. You sob right there on your bedroom floor, your dress creating a pool around you as you sank to the floor because your knees couldn't handle the weight of you standing.
You don't try to keep the tears in. You had been waiting to be alone to let them fall. You didn't understand why Anthony couldn't love you.
Why did it have to be you?
Why won't he end the courtship with your sister?
Why did you have to fall in love with him?
-----
The next few days carry the same thing. You smile. You nod. You pretend that you weren't silently dying inside because that is how you should be feeling. You should be happy when you see Anthony kiss Edwina's hand because that is her soon to be husband. He is respectful. He is a gentleman.
----
Your family arrives at the Featherington's house for the annual Featherington ball. Many families of the ton had arrived and were all gossiping to each other in small groups. When the Bridgertons walked in with the Sharmas, the entire room looked over in their direction. All of the Sharmas were there except for you. You had said that you were not feeling like going to the ball. When in fact you had to get ready in your dress that was going to be the best at the ball and you knew that.
You were getting your shoes on when you looked at the window. The night was set and you saw the carriage that waited for you. Stepping out of the house, your deep purple dress trailed behind you a bit. Your dress in the shape of a ball gown that had gems embedded in the fabric. Every time you moved, your dress sparkled. Your hair had one curl that laid gently against your collarbone.
----
Stepping inside the Featherington's home, the entire building went silent as they awaited your next move. Your gloved hands came to rest by your sides and you picked up your dress. You then took a step forward and soon the entire room opened itself up as you cast a smile that could blind anyone who looked too close.
Making your way to the lemonade stand, you bumped into Benedict and you gave him a smile as you looked up to him. You pat him on his arm and he smiles to you.
"You, Miss Sharma, look absolutely gorgeous. I need to have a talk with your Lady's Maid because you look," He said. "Like money doesn't know the price."
You smile and let out a laugh.
"You are too kind with your words, Ben." You set down your glass and then preceded to grab his arm. "Come. Come dance with me."
He leads you to the dance floor, holding your gloved hand. You get in line with everyone else and then preceded to dance. You hand was on his shoulder, his on your hip and holding your hand. You smile at him when he nearly bumps into someone, too busy looking into your eyes.
"Miss Sharma," He started. "I was wondering if you would be interested in another art session."
"As in the same as last time?" You giggle, raising an eyebrow.
"Not quite," He laughed. "I wanted to give you actual art lessons and perhaps actually finish the drawing that I was working on."
"I feel like that can be arranged," You laugh.
"And if anything happens like last time, I may have to marry you."
Your smile falls and you drop his hand.
'Miss Sharma?" You can barely hear him. Your heart was beating too loud.
"Have I said something to offend you?" He asked, confused.
"No, it is not you."
"I feel as though it was. I am terribly sorry for my words that have conflicted hurt onto you."
Just before you could reply, Anthony walked up and greeted his brother.
"I was not aware that you were escorting Miss Sharma to the dance floor," Anthony said. "After all she said that she wouldn't be attending tonight."
He finally turned to you and smiled. You didn't smile back. You eyes were dull. The light had faded from them when seeing Anthony.
"Good evening Lord Bridgerton," You bow quickly.
"I haven't seen you in a long time, Miss Sharma."
You looked at him and wondered if you should even react. You didn't want to see him. You didn't want to talk. But really, you did. You wanted to show him that you were perfectly fine without him.
"You look lovely tonight," he said. " Your dress is beautiful."
He was trying to get a reaction. He wanted to see you swoon for him. At least that is what you thought.
"You look decent." You don't look him in the eyes, knowing that you would fall back to where you started.
"Why thank you. Can I have a dance?"
You nod and you both go to the dance floor. Edwina, Kate and Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury all stand to watch.
Anthony takes your gloved hand and he placed your other hand onto his shoulder. He places his other on your hip and begins to move. His touch burns into your dress. You might as well have had nothing on with how warm his hands felt.
Your eyes are locked with his as you move. His eyes were so full of love and adoration that you almost had to look away. Your hand on his shoulder slides up to cup his neck as you both move along in the steps of the song. Your head comes to rest closer to his shoulder and you could feel his breathe fan over the loose curls on your neck. He brings his hand with yours to his chest and you can feel his heart beat.
When you look back in his eyes, it feels like it's just the two of you and no one else was here. It was the two of you and you would stay like this forever. His eyes told you everything you had whispered into the night together.
"I love you more than you will ever know."
---
"Don't they look like they are having fun?" Edwina asked. "I knew that if they spent time together that they would grow to like each other."
The other ladies looked at her.
"I do believe that they do make a good dancing couple," Lady Danbury said.
"A handsome dancing couple," Edwina agreed.
She soon left as Kate was left with the two women.
"Kate, tell me, has your sister always been terrible at hiding her feelings?" Lady Danbury said.
Kate looked confused.
"Her feelings about what?"
"It's more about who." She said as she turned Kate's head gently to the direction in which you were dancing with Anthony.
"Lord Bridgerton?" Kate asked.
"Indeed it seems that they have feelings for each other."
"Lady Danbury you believe that anyone around Lord Bridgerton is in love with him," Kate said.
"Not everyone. You are not."
"Well....no."
"Just keep an eye on them and see what I see," Lady Danbury said. "Now run along."
Kate left to find a glass of lemonade.
"Lady Bridgerton, your son is absolutely enthralled with that girl." Lady Danbury said with a knowing smirk.
"Miss Sharma and my son are not in love," Violet said. "They can't be. He is engaged to her sister."
They look back to you and Anthony. Your eyes seem to never leave each other. Both of your lips were parted slightly as you look like you can't see anything else but each other.
"The eyes can't tell a lie, Violet."
---
"I am sorry for how I left things between us," Anthony said.
"Why?"
"I didn't want things to end that way."
"But they did and now it's over. We are over."
"Over?"
You look at him for a second. You see a man who doesn't realize that he did this to the both of you.
"You ruined us when you decided to court my sister."
"I was courting her before I met you."
"Then you should have never gotten involved with me."
"I wasn't the only one who was involved," He said, pulling the two of you outside away from others. "You were also there in that lake when this all started. I asked you if it was okay and you said yes."
"I didn't know that-"
"You knew that you were betraying your sister and dishonoring yourself but you still did it so do not stand here and twist the blame onto me. I am not the only one who betrayed Edwina."
"You told me you loved me. You promised me that you loved me."
"And I never lied," He said, emotion slipping in. "You were..."
"Then why does it feel like a lie?" You started to feel emotional. "Why did you have to propose to my sister? Why did you have to make me love you?" You fall against him as you sob into his chest. Your hands ball up into fists and you slightly smack them against his chest.
"Why did you make me love you? You sob again. "Why am I not good enough for you to marry instead?"
"You are good enough. You are way too good." Anthony said as he holds you in his arms as your body shakes with sobs.
"What does she have that I don't?" You cry. "What makes you want her to marry her but not me?"
"I can't love her because she isn't you."
Your face is red with tears streaming down your face as you wipe your nose with the back of your handkerchief. You blankly stare at him with tears in your eyes.
"I love you. Can't you see that I'm doing all of this because I love you," Anthony said, desperation creeping into his voice.
"You love me and yet you are still going to marry my sister," You cry. "Someone you do not even love. Why can you not marry someone you love?"
"I have my reasons," He said, thinking of how his mother was after his father died.
"I need to stop loving you," You said.
"You....what?"
" I need to be free of the torment that you have inflicted onto me," You say, calming yourself down. "I need to be with someone else. I'm sorry."
"Wait-"
"Good night, Lord Bridgerton."
And you left the ball without looking back.
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