#I am so happy I signed up for this opportunity to write more B&W!

[amtrak12]

I've got my Bering and Wells gift exchange fic fully outlined now 🥰 I'm sooooo excited to bring it to life.

[soulmatesabroad]

Soulmate Prompts:

Since this is a fic fest about soulmates, we are in need of prompt suggestions! Please send in some prompts that have to do with soulmates! You do NOT have to be writing for this fest to send in prompts!

More info can be found at @soulmatesabroad​!

A: The One au. The One is a tv series that's sort of dystopian in that it explores a reality in which you could suddenly apply to this program that will match you to your soulmate and it follows how specific people deal with that.

B: Where you wake up with a tattoo after meeting your soulmate. Larry are vacationing at the same hotel, they meet and then every day for 4 days after they both gain a new tattoo. When they meet again, they realize their tattoos match perfectly. Rope & anchor, compass & ship, heart & arrow, rose & dagger. 

C: Ziall soulmates au where their first words to each other are tattooed somewhere on their body. Both of them have the phrase “fuck you” on their arms. Of course the first time they meet they both say...

D: in uni, prof is giving a lecture, his student is his soulmate, figuring it out over the semester

E: reverse Wellington: Larry meet, drunk Louis shouts "soulmate" at Harry, then they get to know each other and fall in love

F: Larry please- soulmates who meet in dreams and appear the way they see themselves so that irl one doesn’t recognize the other because he sees himself as plain/boring

G: Larry please - One of them either doesn’t want to meet his soulmate and has been doing everything to avoid meeting them. He gets stuck in a time loop (like Groundhog Day) until he meets and acknowledges his soulmate. 

H: One of them is a surfer, the other is a photographer and they meet somewhere warm. They're 26 and kinda gave up on finding their soulmate but then it happens.

i: any pairing: universe in which soulmates recognise each other by having the same song stuck in their head. cue person a hearing person b humming the song under their breath in location x

J: Larry please - fic where each year you get opportunities to meet your soulmate and live life with them but as soon as the clock hits 00:00 on Dec 31st your memory resets in regards to who your soulmate is. There’s no way to go around this...or is there?

K:  A is a hopeless romantic who has always dreamed of meeting their soulmate. Unfortunately their remote location means they see the same few people every day, none of whom is their match. When Character B arrives and A falls in love with them, the question arises: are they soulmates? Or does A just want them to be?

L: Food is love, and supposedly your soulmate's cooking will taste better than anything you've ever eaten before. Too bad Character A is hopeless in the kitchen. Character B is the chef who promises they can teach anyone how to cook-- is that the only reason A finds their food so delicious? Or is there something more at play?

M: Characters A and B are working together on a yacht. They share a room, and as crew they also happen to share most of their working hours and duties as well. Is that the reason they're so drawn to one another? Regardless of their connection, they're both determined to keep it professional. 

N: It's not only humans who have soulmates, apparently. At least if the pet psychic Character A has consulted about their dog's depression is to be believed. The psychic claims the pup met his soulmate at doggie daycare. Now A is trying to see if she's right by seeking out every possible dog from the playgroup. Will helping a dog find it's soulmate lead Character A to the same thing?

O: Hybrids aren't accepted many places, but in a few countries they have full rights and equality, even if prejudice still exists. Character A was raised in an anti-hybrid country and is now studying/working in a hybrid friendly place. Character B is the hybrid neighbor who they feel drawn to in ways they've heard are typical of soulmates. The possibility is as frightening as it is enticing.

P: Nontraditonal ABO: it's generally accepted doctrine that alphas and omegas are made to go together. Character A has always been attracted to people of their own secondary gender, and has therefore run away from the concept of finding a soulmate. When they meet character B, who shares their secondary gender, and find that the two of them share a soulmark-- the sign of a true mate --their world is turned upside down.

Q: (larry) They have been penpals for years now, sharing their little creative thoughts with each other. Will they ever meet? A new job, a different city, some crossed paths and fate might help.

R: Louis is 30 and the CEO of his family business in Toronto and he has hired a new assistant, Harry, 27. A lot of sexual tension, business trips, coincidences and ‘if he my soulmate or I just have a stalker and also a big crush?’

S: Strangers to friends with benefits to lovers larry; Louis and Harry has finished college and they both are doing a tour across Europe visiting different countries. They start from different cities in and meet in the second/third country they’re visiting. They get along quickly and have a one night stand because they think they won’t meet again. But they meet again in the next city or in the trip to the next city. Is their connection due to their sexual attraction or because they’re soulmates?

T: Louis and Harry are both Niall’s friend but they don’t know each other, however they meet in Niall’s wedding (with his soulmate) in Ireland (or another country if the author prefer another place for the wedding)

U: Larry: Soulmates have a special connection, they have visions of their more important events of their life - both sad and happy but they can’t see their faces, bodies or their friends/families faces. Louis and Harry know everything important that happen to them but they haven’t met yet, they live in different countries and they know that but they don’t know the country they live in. How will they meet? What will happen?

V: Larry: Exes to lovers - People have their soulmates mark in their 18 birthday. Harry and Louis were together during high school and break up before Louis 18 birthday because person A was afraid of not being their soulmates. Louis goes to travel aboard so they don’t know about their mark. They meet again some years later when they’re in their 20...

W: Larry enemies to lovers: Both of them work for the same company and has the same job position but they hate each other because the first time they met it wasn’t “meet cute”. All their coworkers think they are similar and would make an amazing couple so they try to get them together. Most people don’t believe in soulmates anymore, they think it was a legend or maybe it’s not a legend and they’re soulmates?

X: Untraditional soulmates !! For example, a pairing (or poly) comprised of people who aren’t soulmates but are in love anyway. Maybe their “true” soulmates died or just didn’t work out for some reason. Maybe their “true” soulmates are platonic and separate from the romantic relationship. But ultimately the theme being something like “i am choosing to love this person” rather than the world telling them who to love :) 

Y: Character A is a writer who pours their heart and soul into everything they write, though their focus on the soulmate trope is underappreciated. They go away on a writer's retreat to give it one last try and meet Character B, a person who seems to have stepped right out of one of their novels. Is this their soulmate or a figment of their imagination, or have they truly had one of their characters come to life?

Z: In a world where you see in color after hearing the sound of your soulmate's voice, Character A doesn't remember seeing in black and white. When they realize they're different, nobody can explain the reason. It isn't until they meet Character B, a stranger with the same affliction, that they begin to put things together. Or: A and B hear one another's cries as babies, changing their vision from black and white to color before they could possibly have realized it.

AA: Characters A & B somehow keep running into each other inexplicably all over the world. Maybe they happen to study abroad together then have a work conference in the same city then vacation in the same city, etc. Eventually they realize they've been seeing each other all over and maybe the universe is trying to tell them something.

BB: Louis gets a call from an unknown number from across the world. When he answers it, he's asked if he is a Mr. Harry Styles' previous employer and to give a recommendation on his performance. Amused, he pretends he is Harry's old boss and gives a glowing recommendation without knowing who he is. The job that this Harry is going for must be quite intense, because a few days later Louis is asked to fly out to interview in person to attest to Harry's character, where he ends up meeting Harry and falling for him.

CC: OT4/5 platonic soulmates with all the main characters being aro, ace, demisexual, etc. A soulmark appears when you meet a soulmate-- whether they're a platonic, romantic, or sexual soulmate(or sooner combo of the 3) is something each person has to discover for themselves. OT4/5 are grateful to find soulmates who are excited to experience beautiful and deep platonic relationships.

DD: Soulmarks are a trait that most humans have lost. Character A is a vampire who was born in a time when they were far more common. Imagine their surprise when they meet Character B, a human, whose soulmark complements their own.

EE: Larry: An AU where magic exists, Louis has always thought he’s a dark wizard and Harry doesn’t know if he’s a wizard or a normal human. Spoiler: he’s a wizard! They meet when they are 18/20 in a trip and they find more than themselves.

FF: Larry: Louis and Harry are friends of Zayn and Liam but they haven’t met yet. Ziam is having a wedding and their bachelor parties in Hawaii, they meet them.

GG: Louis and Harry haven’t met yet but they meet in a reality show that consists of traveling around the world. The rules of the reality show: Choose a person in the first program to travel with them (Louis and Harry travel together) and spend as little money as possible.

HH: Louis and Harry have been working in the same building for years but they haven’t met officially although they’ve seen each other around. They officially meet when their boss decided to do a work trip to Sydney

ii: Louis and Harry go to Orlando to visit the amusement park. They meet when they’re waiting in the queue for one of the rides and they spend a lot of time together because their other friends are tired of visiting different amusement park and they want to chill.

JJ: Famous/Non-famous larry: “Every time that you and your soulmate are in the same city, you’ll have a mark in your wrist. If one of you leave, the mark disappears” Person A is an actor who loves love but is tiring of two things: fake pr-relationships that make the general public believes that he’s not interest in having a soulmate and traveling. Person B wants to find his soulmate but he knows it’s not in his city so he’s traveling around. They have been in the same place several times but they haven’t met. How many countries will they visit until they meet?

KK: larry please: It is well known that the first time soulmates touch they leave a vivid mark on their partner's skin.  Well one morning Louis wakes up with a bright stripe across his cheekbone and no idea what happened.

LL: hl au: harry is a well-known anthropologist from england but he’s requested to join the discovery of an ancient palace in mexico city. louis is a historian that has lived in said city for several years now, so he’s almost a local. the discovery they both take part of includes a blue greeny jewel that holds a legend about soulmates.

MM: Zouiam ot3 matching soulmate tattoos

NN: A and B are childhood friends and have known they're soulmates since they got their marks in their early teen years but they never develop romantic feelings for each other but they Do want to spend the rest of their life together. Bit of conflict / comfort.

OO: Lirry Shrek au. Harry Fiona has always expected their perfect soulmate to break their curse. Liam Shrek is tired of playing the role of the ogre and being rejected by prejuices. They meet.

PP: Zayn is travelling with his van, he picks up some hitchhikers along the way. They stargaze and bond with each other. They find out they are soulmates when some dangerous situation arises.

QQ: ot5 1d era au. A slowly finds out they are soulmates with each of the others while in the bus or travelling/staying abroad together.

RR: Ziam: In a world where magic exists but soulmates are rare, Liam and Ziam met in the same Magical College and have an instant connection. In history of magic, they learn about soulmates and Character A know that they (Ziam) are soulmates but he’s  afraid and tries to avoid Character B all the time.

SS: Larry - Louis needs a break of his job and travels to a place where Harry lives and Harry needs a break of his past relationships. They meet in a pub and after too many drinks, they decide to do a road trip around the country. The author decides how people know who is their soulmates.

TT: Zouis: they discover they’re soulmates in Zayn’s wedding. Louis is the boyfriend of one of the best mates

UU: Larry - A reality show is trying to prove that soulmates still exist and Louis and Harry are participants in it

VV: HL Monday AU with Harry as Mickey and Louis as Chloe (but with a happy and not toxic ending please!)

WW: The voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time

XX: You’ve been sketching your soulmate’s face since you were old enough to pick up a pencil, the drawings become more realistic through the years as the day you meet comes near

YY: Red strings of fate au. Person A cuts their string. Person B is devastated to find their string has been cut but moves on with their life and finds love with, you guessed it, Person A who doesn’t believe in soulmates. When Person B finds out that Person A cut their string they’re so angry because they know how devastated they were to find their cut string. And Person A is confused at first because they thought Person B didn’t believe in soulmates either and didn’t realize that it was because they had no way of finding their soulmate. And then it hits Person A that there might be a slight chance that Person B IS their soulmate. So they nervously show up with their string and ask if Person A wants to see if the ends fuse together or not. Up to writer if the ends fuse or not.

ZZ: Person A reads tarot cards and while reading Person B’s cards, Person A can see that the cards are telling them that the two of them are soul mates

AAA: Soulmates can hear what their soulmate is singing.  Harry grows up with a soulmate who exclusively sings a weird blend of Oasis, Green Day, and the odd Light Killers song.  Louis grows up with a soulmate who mostly sings Fleetwood Mac and Peter Gabriel. They both hate their soulmates taste in music.

BBB: Every person is born with a golden string on their finger attached to their soulmate.  Everyone but them can see it but it is considered highly rude to tell people without prompting (like taking away a coming of age experience).  Or Harry and Louis fight a lot and everyone looks at them knowingly until one of them cracks and asks someone about it.

CCC: Character A runs a clothing boutique of some kind and one day uses a steamer too close to the smoke detector and sets off the fire alarm. Character B is one of the firemen to respond. Character A is very embarrassed that they did this in front of a super hot fireman, but the firemen are super nice about it. It just so happens they have to come back the following week for an annual inspection of the building and Character A jokes around/flirts with B. Soulmate aspect up to writer. (One idea could be matching soul marks?)

DDD: When soulmates touch for the first time, an electric shock goes through each person. They can’t touch each other without a shock...until they fall in love with each other. Too bad Character A & B hate each other and are not thrilled that when they touch by accident they finally feel the electricity they’ve always been waiting for. 

EEE: The color of your eyes act like a mood ring and changes according to your soulmates' mood. The first time you make eye contact with your soulmate, they turn the same color.

FFF: Reluctant soulmates where one or both of them keep their soulmarks covered at all times because they want to fall in love without the person soulmates

GGG: AU where your soulmate smells like HOME only they’re both too dirty and disgusting to smell like anything other than yuck

HHH: Older Larry AU where they’re both in their 40s or older and still haven’t met The One. Embracing this, they each go on a trip alone, but wind up meeting

iii: Fleetwood Mac/ Rumours AU - Larry as Stevie and Lindsey, Ziam as Christine and John. A breakup and a divorce while recording and touring an iconic album. Endgame Larry. Lovers to exes to soulmates.

[peppusae]

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you' | Chae Hyungwon pt 1

part: 1 of 3

other parts:  pt 1 || pt 2 || pt 3

pairing: chae hyungwon x reader

genre: fluff, little slow-burn and angst, smut

word count: 5.6k words

note: i had a dream about this plot so i must write this because after this dream hyungwon became my bias wrecker and i cry about him every day since pls send help gbye

ugh i love him so much :(((

>

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you'

What’s every kpop fan’s goal in life?

To meet their idols, attend a concert, and attend a fan sign, right?

Some others... They aim higher than that.

And you’re one of those people.

In fact, you love k-pop so much that you found your career took a whooping turn and you ended up majoring in language, for the very simple fact that you could apply to join an entertainment company and be a staff/writer, the latter which makes you feel the proudest of yourself.

But life….

Life can be super mean sometimes. And you learn this the hard way, when you get rejected by SM entertainment - your first and actually the only choice because you are a major Shinee fan and life is just NOT fair at all!

One way or the another, after multiple applying, you finally get a good job in another company - Starship Entertainment.

Now, Starship was definitely not one amongst your top 5 agencies. But you always try not to let that affect your work - and over time, you come to love your job.

Especially when you get assigned as Monsta X’s writer and interpreter.

You find the members of the group very very appealing, all of them having their own charms.

Hyunwoo, who goes by the name Shownu and has an appetite that makes everyone giggle; He is such a soft-hearted soul and you really look up to him because he is always kind enough to give you a hand if he finds you doing something like lugging some boxes around, and would give the prettiest eye smiles when he gets a compliment.

Hoseok, who goes by the name Wonho and is probably the person you would sacrifice everything for; because of the heartwarming smile he has to offer, the way he continuously asks you to go through the comments he received on his vlives, and would politely request you to review what fans are saying about him on his posts.

Kihyun, who is very much Korean down to the bone with his extremely polite mannerisms and the way he always makes sure the staff - you included - are always eating as well; even if it’s a show about them. And also, the way he had once asked if he was your bias, and looked shocked to hear he wasn’t - and then continued to do things to get your attention and ask “Am I your bias now?” in the middle, like an idiot.

Jooheon, who also occasionally comes to you and asks for mini English lessons, and then gets bored after learning two or three new words - and then instead likes to chat about random things like the cats he owns, and your line of cacti which he, for some reason, is obsessed with, and your chats with Jooheon usually end with a compliment battle, and he always made you feel proud because he always says that chatting about normal things like that always inspires him a lot too.

Changkyun, who you consider as your bias wrecker because he keeps his own cool, stays in his own bubble and get things done, and doesn’t brag; instead, he’s very gentle, always the first person to notice if you’re sitting out in the lounge by yourself racking your brains for new content, and uses you as a guinea pig for testing out his lame new puns or pickup lines.

And then… Hyungwon, who doesn’t talk a lot when he’s with the rest of the group, but you found to be startlingly talkative when he’s doing a solo vlive or with only a few members like either Shownu or Wonho. In fact, you remember being wide-eyed when he continuously chatted with his fans on a vlive for a whooping 2 hours, and you can’t forget the precious and warm smile he had on his face when you said you liked seeing him so lively and talkative.

“I have a lot of things up my sleeve which you probably don’t know that much about, [Name]-ah.” He had said that time, and sometimes, you can see the way his eyes would filter through the staff during shows and land on yours, and smile at you.

And finally, Minhyuk, who was your absolute favourite out of the entire group, your bias because he gets along so well with everyone, always making everyone - including the staff - laugh, and would not hesitate to call anyone out if they’re doing something they shouldn’t. It makes you giggle, the way he would approach you in the middle of a variety show shooting they’re doing and ask if you were the writer of the show and how you had the audacity to make them walk around like lunatics. He acts like a crackhead like that, but you’ve grown to be so attached to him when you realized that, beyond his bright personality, he also is an insanely sweet person; You found this out when you had mentioned applying to SM entertainment because Shinee was your favorite group ever, and Minhyuk -even if he asked how dare you talk about other men in his presence - met up with Shinee while hosting a show and got the members to sign, and even got Kibum, your Shinee bias, to sign you a message inside their recent album.

Undoubtedly, Minhyuk was your favorite, for a good reason.

But still, to be put frankly, Hyungwon was the member that has your heart, for the simple reason that he was so unpredictable and has his own sense of humour and personality.

Since you got assigned to work with Monsta X, your life has been a messy tangle of fun, a normal day being you having a chat with Hyungwon and then getting interrupted by Minhyuk who would have zero filters and ask “Are you two dating?”, which causes the two of you to flush red for no reason, while Kihyun would overhear this and say “Huh?! You’re picking him to date but you don’t think of me as bias material?”.

The cycle would be endless, with Wonho laughing while watching the entire scene unfold, while Jooheon would join in with Minhyuk while Shownu would butt in and say “Minhyuk-ah, we have to go back to practise now tho,” and Changkyun sticking his head out from his dorm room and saying he still has 5 more minutes to finish the session of his favorite game.

You’ve grown to love this cycle and it doesn’t feel like a job, doing something you love with good people to work with, and life has been even easier after you got a dorm room within the building.

So, even if you had a roommate - and she’s nice, just not too close - things at Starship has been working out well for you.

Your daily chaos started simmering down a little once the pandemic hit, and all of the staff got confined to their rooms for work.

Because some of the shows you’re writing the scripts for are getting approved easily, you feel lucky to be one of the few staff who is now allowed to go alongside the members when they’re out for shows.

The times when you’re working from your dorm room, you feel so tired - perhaps missing the chaos you were so used to for the past couple years.

One day, you get a kakao chat from Hyungwon, asking if he can come over to discuss something with you.

It’s early in the morning - 8:15 am, and you’re half awake but you let him in, trying your hardest not to yawn too much in front of the member you considered the most attractive from the bunch.

Your roommate, Dawon, was kind enough to clean up the room a little bit when you said Hyungwon was coming over - and you said it on purpose because you knew she called Hyungwon her type and admits to having a teensy crush on him even though she knows it won’t work out anyways.

Hyungwon is wearing a caramel sweater and grey baggy sweatpants, and it always warms your heart to see the boys dressed in comfy clothes because they have to spend so much time wearing clothes that probably look good but not feel as comfy.

“Hyungwonnie, come on in!” You greet him, and he reacts with a chuckle and he always does that ever since you started calling him by that nickname after the day he said you should use casual language with him.

Hyungwon gives a little nod to your roommate in acknowledgement, and waits until you draw the curtain separating the room, before he speaks.

“I have a magazine shooting next month, and these are the set of questions they’re gonna ask me.” He says, putting the big envelope he had in his clutches on the top of your desk after he takes his seat. “I need help coming up with answers.”

Hyungwon was usually one of the few members who always comes to use the opportunity; the artists are free to ask the writers for help with answers they’ll give for their interviews, and Hyungwon always makes full use of the opportunity, and Shownu and Wonho occasionally drop by too, as well.

You’re always happy to be asked for help, but today, you find yourself sweat-dropping at the thought. You were so sleepy, the only reason you’re not dozing off is because you had forced yourself not to sit down.

“Why?”

“What?”

“You’re usually always excited when I ask for something like this, so why today?”

Ouch. Sometimes, much like you can read the boy’s faces and know what’s going on, they can sometimes do the same for you, too.

“Well, you see....”

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Double ouch. You knew the boys - at least, most of them - were good observers, but you didn’t expect Hyungwon to catch on so easily.

“I actually do get enough sleep, but these days, I feel extra sleepy for an hour or so after I wake up.”

This makes Hyungwon chuckle, putting the papers back inside the envelope and turning back to you.

“Welcome to the life of every human being. You sound like you’ve been babied too much.” He has to say, and you watch the way he gets up from his seat and places the envelope inside one of your drawers.

“Let’s get some breakfast.”

“W-What?!”

This makes the male raise an eyebrow, glancing around the room as if he was unsure if it really was you who said that.

“You’re acting as if we have never gone out for a meal together.”

“Well…” You say, because you’ve actually gone with him a couple of times over the four years you’ve been assigned to them.

That was probably because the boys enjoyed ordering in mostly, and eating at their own free times.

Anyhow, it was only a few times, so it definitely did surprise you.

“Okay. Where do we go?”

“I’m in the mood for some eggs and sausages, do you have anything you want to eat?”

“Hey, we’re gonna split the bill okay!?” You hurry to race Hyungwon outside, who goes out in a very knowing way, one that was like a deja vu of the times when he’d butt in when you’re trying to innocently pay for your delivered lunch tray and he’d ask to tab it over to him.

Kihyun was right, he really was different from the way most Monbebe actually looked up at him.

At the restaurant, Hyungwon takes his mask off only after you two are seated at one of the sectioned booths and have ordered your food.

“The pandemic isn’t good, but this is the only thing that I enjoy about it.” He admits, eyes going over to the lack of people inside the place which would usually be filled to the brim with office workers trying to grab a quick breakfast.

“This pandemic has made me a sleepyhead like you.”

“Hey!”

You find yourself smiling so hard around Hyungwon because during breakfast and after you had forcibly paid for you two, on your way back when he offers to buy you coffee - and even remembers your usual order - and the next two hours he spent with you while you helped him write answers and edit what he wrote, it really does not feel like he’s a celebrity at all; but more so as a close friend who makes you feel warm in ways you’ve never felt before.

“Why?”

You snap out from your little trance and go back to typing your script on the laptop, when he interrupts you.

“Why are you smiling? What kind of madness of a show are you writing now?!”

“Hey! Don’t accuse me of writing madness when your Monbebe loves it so much!”

“Yah, that’s too much! Our Monbebe will love us anyway even if you show them us being normal!”

You giggle, because really. When has Monsta X ever been normal?

---

The next day, right after you wake up, you’re working on the itinerary for Monsta X’s upcoming vacation show - a little too late, you had to admit, and that too, when you’re feeling so desperately sleepy like you’ve been feeling lately every morning.

Dawon had gone out to grab breakfast with some of the other staff, and you’re munching on your melon bread, knowing well that the espresso shot you’ve had just a while ago won’t last you for more than 15 minutes.

And it doesn’t.

In fact, you’re actually snoring when your phone rings loudly, making you lift your sorry face up from your laptop keyboard and answering as soon as you pick up the phone.

“Yes, Manager-nim? I’ll send you the itinerary in fifteen minutes!” You say the impossible, because your task in barely done, and you had a feeling you’d fall back onto the laptop keyboard the second the manager hangs up the call.

The sound of familiar chuckling makes you raise an eyebrow and glance at your phone, horrified to see Hyungwon’s name on the display.

“I need it in ten minutes, not fifteen.” He says in a heavy voice, and it makes you huff in embarrassment, glad that he couldn’t see you.

“Very funny, Hyungwon. What did you need?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to wake you up.”

“I was up!”

This makes him laugh yet again, and you sigh, typing on the keyboard as you think about what good excuse you can say.

“If you were up, you wouldn’t have thought I was your manager.”

You let out a little groan, connecting your headphones to the phone so you could multitask while speaking to the male.

“Really, now, Hyungwonnie, what did you really want? Is there something you wanted to ask again?”

“No, I really just called to wake you up.”

“Well. Isn’t that sweet of you.” You say, sarcastically.

The mini banter and sarcastic comments continue for about ten minutes, by which you’d even finished up the itinerary.

So, even if he did laugh at your sleepyhead behaviour - as if he could talk - you made sure to thank him before you go out to take the printouts and finish off your task.

---

And then, that becomes a ritual.

Hyungwon calls you every day at 8 am, right when you’ve signed in for work and are about to head to get some coffee.

He makes small talk with you, talks about little episodes he’d had, and listens to your ideas.

After the first week, you don’t feel sleepy even if you don’t get the coffee; and you don’t even get sleepy after he hangs up.

Every day, it feels like he’s prepared something new, because he makes you laugh so hard that your sleep completely vanishes.

In fact, after a couple of days, he searches up English songs on Genie Music and sings, butchering up a lot of the lyrics on purpose - you know it’s on purpose because Hyungwon has a really good pronunciation when he tries.

One day, you’re butchering up the lyrics of a song along with Hyungwon while you’re writing talk segments for Monsta X’s comeback showcase. Your roommate has been giving you funny looks recently, especially after she asked who was calling you every day and you couldn’t lie and told her it was Hyungwon.

The sudden sound of your door flying wide open and a blonde Lee Minhyuk barrelling into your room makes you stop your singing.

“Oh. So it was you, huh.” He has to say, making himself comfortable on your beanbag chair, and drawing the cloth partition between your room when Dawon - your roommate - keeps staring.

Really, Minhyuk does not know what filters are supposed to be.

“What do you mean?” You ask, and from your headphone, Hyungwon hears his friend’s voice, so he dismisses the call after saying he’ll see you again later.

“So it was you Hyungwonie has been getting up every morning to sing his heart out, huh?”

You stare at him, baffled. “Well, he does sing some normal songs, but he mostly sings crack-”

“He usually never wakes up on his own even if he has schedules, and now he has an alarm to call you every day? What, are you guys dating or something?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, what are you saying!!” You hiss, horrified, because the cloth partition does little to block out sounds from the other side.

“I always tell people if they like someone, to stop being so obvious and just ask them out. It’s easy!!”

“It’s not easy and omg shut up!! He’s just calling me because he’s waking me up, he’s just being kind!”

“Hyungwon never wakes up for us, he’s never kind to us, then! And he’s always still sleepy even if he wakes you up, because he goes straight back to bed after he wakes you up!”

You sigh out loud in frustration, shaking your head. “Come on. What did you want, Minhyukkie?”

Minhyuk gives you a knowing smile before he shakes his head, handing you the binded notebook he had in his clutches.

“You’ll give me a read-over, right? I told you about the radio-show I’m gonna start hosting in a few weeks, right? The concept is clear, but I have some topics I want to talk about and I made some scripts about how I could continue the talk.”

“You got it. I’ll need some time, though, how does Thursday sound?”

“Perfect. Thanks!” He gives you a flying kiss that makes you laugh, and then he’s out as fast as he came barreling in.

---

You expected Hyungwon to stop the calling after the confining to your room rule gets lifted up and you’ve started to go to the office for work.

But he doesn’t, and he sounds as if he’s never been as prepared before as he is now.

Even when the comeback is near and he must be practising into the late hours of the night, he never misses a single day.

A few days before the comeback, you find him having lunch with Shownu, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him in a while - and you hadn’t seen his new hair till then too.

For the first time in the four years you’ve been assigned to work with Monsta X, you take a good look at Hyungwon.

A really, really good look.

At first, he hadn’t noticed you, and while you’re refilling your water bottle with chilled water, you notice the way he’s smiling a little while he listens to what Shownu is saying. The way he uses his hand to brush the fringe of his hair he’s dyed blonde is attractive for the first time - and you’d always thought he was a really, really handsome young man… But this is the first time he looks so attractive that you feel like you’re in a daze, staring at him until chilled water fills up your bottle and pours on your fingers, finally catching your attention.

What gives?

The little yelp you let out makes both Shownu and Hyungwon glance over at you - noticing you for the first time. Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, the top of his palm going up to cover his mouth.

“Ah, [Name]-ah. How are you?” Shownu calls over to you, ever so naturally, and you greet him with a smile when it looks like he’s motioning for you to come over.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing good, Hyunwoo-oppa. You guys must be working super hard for the comeback, right?” You say, glancing at Hyungwon, and for the first time ever, you think he’s actually… blushing ?!

It makes you flustered, thinking about what Minhyuk had talked to you about, while he accused you two of dating. Really, Minhyuk had no filters, it never fails to drive you insane sometimes.

“Yeah! You can expect a lot, please do support us a lot!”

You turn to look at Shownu, beaming at his friendly and charming smile before you excuse yourself and head back before you felt your head would explode.

Now, what the heck was that all about!?

Whatever it was, you were definitely going to blame Minhyuk for this!

---

It absolutely surprises you when Hyungwon doesn’t fail to call you, even the following morning.

You guess you had just imagined it in your head yesterday when Hyungwon looked flustered to see you.

Stupid Minhyuk! It was all in your head after all.

“Now that today’s dumb song segment is over,” Hyungwon says, after he sings a butchered up version of Pretty Please, “I’m gonna sing a song from our album!”

“Oh? Will that be okay?”

“Well, you’ll hear the album preview later today, so, why not?” He has to say. “It’s one of my favorites from the album.”

And then, he sings up to the second chorus of Beautiful Night - a song you fall in love with instantly, because the lyrics are so beautiful and Hyungwon sings as if he’s doing so with his whole soul. It almost makes your eyes teary, and you can barely tell him that you love it, before you have to excuse yourself with a little lie.

Since when did Hyungwon’s voice sound this emotional? It’s been over four years, but his voice has always been the same, beautiful voice as before. You open up Genie music, playing some of the older albums, listening to Hyungwon’s voice in the songs, and you feel like you’ve missed out this side of Hyungwon completely, this madly romantic side of him that sounds so sincere that it makes your heart race.

What is going on, seriously…

---

As the days pass by, the little tingle in your heart whenever you see or hear Hyungwon keeps on getting more and more painful.

In fact, by the end of Monsta X’s three-week promotions for Fantasia X, hearing Hyungwon singing songs for you become almost unbearably sad.

Despite having to wake up earlier, or even having to excuse himself in the middle of getting his hair and makeup done, he makes sure to call you - even if you’re sitting and listening to him when he’s in the same room as you are in.

You realize you can’t hold out your expressions if it’s in front of him, so you make sure to get up and go away somewhere when Hyungwon’s call arrives every day at 8 am on the dot.

It’s a warm Saturday morning, and you’re on your bed, your earpods on and listening to Fantasia X on Genie when Hyungwon’s call of the day arrives.

Today, it’s different.

Usually, he sings a trot song, or a really ugly version of an English song with the hopes of making you laugh so much that your sleep completely vanishes.

But today, he doesn’t say anything and immediately starts to sing soulfully; today, he sings Newton, one of your absolute favorite songs by the group, and…

The way he sings it is so, so sad .

Something inside your heart feels like it is burning, and unknowingly, your eyes brim with tears, because…

All the things Minhyuk had told you, all the things you’ve been thinking about Hyungwon lately, all the little glances he sends your way and then looks away when he sees you’re watching…

You feel your emotions going haywire, and your wishful thinking makes you start crying and you pray to god that Hyungwon, who’s singing the chorus so beautiful and sincerely does not notice.

It’s almost unbearable, and you take off your earpods and have him on speaker, thankful that he doesn’t notice you’ve reached for tissues to wipe your tears.

Since when did I start feeling this way about him?

How can I think this way about one of the members I work for?

Why does Hyungwon sing as if he’s singing just for me, and only me?

Why does it feel like we are never able to meet eyes now?

You have so many questions and no answers, and your hands are shaking as you try to press record on your phone because he sounds so, so beautiful and your crying is not helping you in focusing on his sincere singing.

It is at this moment that the door to your room flies open, and your roommate, Dawon enter the room, then freezes when she sees you crying.

“What’s going on?!”

You’re only able to hand over the phone to her, and mumble a little “Please record it for me” through your sobs.

Dawon looks very confused, raising an eyebrow when she looks at the receiver and sees that it is Hyungwon, on the call.

At that moment, Hyungwon wraps up his singing, clearing his throat a little and speaks for the first time today.

“[Name]-ah.”

You find yourself sniffling, glancing at Dawon who looks visibly upset now… and you can’t even blame her…

“[Name]-ah.” He calls your name again, and this is one of the things that makes you sad in regards to Hyungwon, because… He is a member of Monsta X, one of the manlier groups in the industry for sure, but… He’s so gentle and sweet, a kind-hearted soul, and he does not lack in anything, as he has proudly claimed so.

Even the way he calls your name out is so gentle that it makes more tears stream down your face, and you’re almost scared at how to answer whatever Hyungwon would ask from you.

“[Name]-ah. I have something I have to tell you, in person.”

Your eyes meet with Dawon, who now looks wide-eyed, and you were sure you would probably look the same.

“I… I have to tell you this in person, so, if you… If you’re willing, would you like to�� go for dinner with me today?”

More tears stream down your face, and now you know you can never look Dawon in the eyes either so you bury your face on one of your pillows, heart aching too much to do anything else.

“Hyungwon-ssi.”

Dawon speaks into the speakerphone, and it makes you glance at her, wondering what she was going to say.

Hyungwon replies with a loud ‘Huh?’ in confusion.

“Hyungwon-ssi, I’m sorry, but [Name] is outside and she left her phone here.”

Dawon looks at you, lips pressed into a thin line. You feel so uneasy, and it felt like Hyungwon felt the same, because he starts to stammer.

“Wh-Wha? What?! If [Name] wasn’t the one who answered, then wh- Whaaaaa!” You hear a loud whine before the call gets disconnected with a quick mumble of “Sorry!”.

Dawon hurls the phone at your bed, and leaves the room without a word, and it pains your heart so much that you feel like you’ll die.

A text message pops up on your phone a little while later and seeing the text makes you feel a little dizzy, even.

‘If you’re freely going to allow other people to roam through your phone even, I don’t think I have any other choice but to come to see you right away.’

What?

Wait, does he mean-

You hurry to grab your phone and iPad, wiping your face as best as you could and going out of your room. You find Minhyuk and Kihyun using the Xbox in the lounge, so you quietly take a seat near them, greeting them and opening up your iPad without another word.

“[Name]-ah, why do you look so weird?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, how can you say something so rude?!”

You shake your head and give a weak smile at the two, opening up your notepad and leaning against the couch.

A moment passes by, and Minhyuk moves closer to you on the couch, so close that you actually move a little back as well.

“What?”

“I finished my game with Kihyunnie. So. Why? Why do you look so sad? Did Hyungwonie hurt you?”

Now, you’ve been doing a good job of not crying since you got out of the room, but seeing Minhyuk’s worried face and then remembering Hyungwon’s words - along with Minhyuk hitting a bullseye right away… All of that combine together and it makes you start to cry again.

“Wha? Hey?!” Minhyuk looks very startled, and he usually never looks surprised like he doesn’t know what to do, but today he looks like he’s at a dead end, and you allow him to grab your hand and tell Kihyun he’ll be right back, before he hurries to drag you over to the other end of the lounge near the vending machines.

“Yah, what is going on with you lately? Hyungwon really said something mean to you, didn’t he? Sheesh. Acting like he’s in love with you and then making you cry like this? I didn’t expect him out of everyone to behave this way.”

The more Minhyuk spoke, the worse you felt, and you’re barely able to ask him if he could be kind enough to leave you alone for a second when you hear a familiar voice calling your name.

“[Name]-ah…. Minhyuk-ah?!”

You and Minhyuk glance up to see Hyungwon approaching you, and you hurry to take your hand away from Minhyuk’s clutch.

Really, Hyungwon couldn’t have caught a worse timing.

Minhyuk shoots you a sad look, then gets up from his seat, goes to say something to Kihyun, then the two of them leave while Kihyun glances at you with a worried look on his face. You can’t get yourself to look at Hyungwon, so you’re looking at your hands, fingers fumbling while Hyungwon stands in his spot in front of you, not saying a single word.

More tears fall down your face when you remember Minhyuk’s words - and how wrong was he to assume the worst from the sweetest person you know, and it pains your heart because you knew if you looked in his eyes, you wouldn’t be able to stop crying.

“Why?”

Hyungwon says a single word, and honestly, that was the only thing you didn’t have an answer for.

Why were you crying?

You didn’t know.

Why can’t you look at Hyungwon?

You had no clue.

Why did Minhyuk know right away?

That too, you didn’t know at all.

Why can’t you answer him?

You had no reason.

So instead, you find tears streaming down your face, and you wish you could leave, but you felt like you owed Hyungwon at least this much, to hear what he had to say even if you felt like something was cutting through your heart.

“Stand up.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard him ask you to do something in that voice, an angry, impatient voice you’ve never imagined you’d ever be on the receiving end for.

“[Name]-ah.”

You hum in response, eyes on the ground. Hyungwon lets out an exhale and you can feel your hands trembling because it’s while you’re looking at his shoes with an aching heart, that you realize something you’ve been wishing so hard was not true.

You were in love with Chae Hyungwon.

Out of completely nowhere, so naturally.... You were so madly in love with Chae Hyungwon; so much that looking at him now would be too much to take, now.

“You heard everything I said, didn’t you?”

Now, that’s something you didn’t expect to hear from him. He had sounded so worried and embarrassed on the phone so you didn’t think he would have any suspicious, but here he was, showing you that he certainly did.

It makes you look up at his face for the first time today, and it pains your heart.

It paints your heart, because he’s wearing clothes with a lot of creases - something he’s been wearing to sleep, and he has on a beanie that covers most of his messy-looking hair, and he’s looking at you with puffy eyes and a frown that hurts so much to look at.

You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore so you shake your head in response. Hyungwon looks visibly disappointed, like he knew right away that you were lying. You think he has something more he wants to say, because his lips part a little… And then, he lets out a sigh and shakes his head as well.

“If you are this burdened by how I feel, then…” Hyungwon’s voice trails off, taking a step back and then turning around. You watch the way he walks out of the lounge without a word, and if you felt like you’d never been more hurt before, you were completely wrong, because nothing pained your heart more than watching the male leave like that, as if he had so much to say and couldn’t…. Just like how you felt while you sink back on the couch and cry your heart out.

And from that day onwards, Hyungwon doesn’t call you again.

-----

[iamrealbuilder]

Bill Buchalter interview

Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?

Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.

C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?

BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!

I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!

Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.

Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!

Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.

The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.

The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.

I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.

I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!

C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?

BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!

These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.

When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!

C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.

The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)

Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.

Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:

Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.

Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.

There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.

Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.

I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.

_____________________________

Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !

A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:

Map download:

https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip

______

External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

[capitainecorbeau]

K you know what I tried to write a steam review but it turned out way too long so here you go ! (the random italics/bold are here for readability, it’s LONG and I know wall of texts can be hard to digest)

I want to like this game, I really do. There was obviously a lot of love poured into it, and there ARE some stuff in it that are pretty cool and made me happy... but overall it just... not very good.

Buckle in, it's gonna be a long one. Also light spoiler warnings, I'll try to stay vague, but I am going to discuss some plot points. Also tw for mentions of mental illness and harmful tropes relating to it.

GAMEPLAY : this is, IMO, the worst part of the game. They tried to spruce up the ol' jRPG/tactical RPG formula, but the result dosn't work.

Reason 1 : The combat is extremly unsatisfying. Like, in every single rpg I've played, even the more lackluster ones, there was always a couple a ways to deal significantly more damage to the enemy. It could be a weakness/resistance system, critical hits, buffs, a gauge that when filled lets you unleash more powerful attacks, grouped attack, etc etc. Inkenfell doesn't really has that.

Ok so, when you time your attacks, there are three results : oops, when you mess up, nice and great. Except that great, the best you can get, feels like what bog-standard attacks do in other rpgs. There is no significant difference between nice and great. I ended up very quickly setting the timing on auto (every signle attack is "great") because it felt like they just added an extra tedious step to the usual menu-based combat. Also despite that, and skipping all fights save for the bosses, it STILL felt long and grueling.

There are attempts at more powerful damage but they all fall flat. Most buffs are single target, which I don't bother with because I could spend that turn attacking rather than applying a buff that most often a)makes little difference or b)wears off too quickly.

There are a couple attacks that deal effective damage against certain enemies but a)the difference is negligible b)one of those is against a type of enemies you barely ever fight against. There's also a "powerful" attack you can only do when your hp is below half ! It's less powerful than the single target spell you get at the very beginning of the game. All in all, it makes every thing long, grindy, and not very exciting.

Reason 2 : The utter lack of variety. Almost every single boss fight is exactly the same. Couple of phases, the boss attacks you and summons minions. SOMETIMES they also have status effects/debuffs. And that's it.The first couple bosses have this trick where their minions explose on death and deal bigger damage. But that quickly disappears. I can't really speak for the other battles because I skipped them but for what little I played it also felt very same-y. As for your characters, you have characters focusing on raw damage and other focusing on utility (healing, buffs, etc).

I basically benched every utility character because the general damage output is already low enough and the utility isn't really useful. Healing is fine, buffs would be fine if it didn't buff enemies caught in the range as well (I usually use them once at the start of the battle and then stop bothering). You can set traps if you want, and then tear your hair out as you watch the enemy repeatedly side-step them (though there are two character who can set traps, maybe you couyld make a strategy out of that). Most likely the trap will expire or you will kill the enemy before they step on it. You can steal items, but you find so many everywhere in game that if you don't use those skills you won't miss them. You can poison your enemies, for an amazing ONE DAMAGE A TURN. Or delay their turn, if you feel like eating two attacks in a row later. Nothing really feels worth it you know ?

It results in this long, drawn-out same-y battles where you just use the same couple of spells against the enemy, over and over until they die. Which, in terms of bosses, can take a very long time. My reaction to new phases was generally "are you kidding meeee ANOTHER one ?" which is not a good sign.

Reason 3 : The lack of juiciness and quality of life. Example : you can freely see enemy hp ! if you specifically go to the menu and hover over the enemy. Otherwise, it's hidden. Why ? Either make their hp easily and quickly visible, or keep it hidden ! When you factor in the fact that every attack has its own, sometimes awkward range, that you cannot walk on occupied tiles (apparently your allies will not deign step aside to let you through), the short walking range of the characters, AND the facts that many enemies love to pepper the battlefield with traps (high damage+lost turn), actually getting in a good position to hit the enemies can be rather tedious. Hitting the enemies doesn't feel satisfying. There aren't little things like shaking their sprites, shaking the screen, cool fx, satisfying sound effects, etc. Just the damage and a little "oops/nice/great". It's a little things, but it makes battles feel even more flat.

TL;DR : the fights are repetitive and unsatisfying, and none of the alternatives to "deal damage to enemy" feel interesting enough to explore.

STORY :  The story is... eh ? Well let's just say there are good things, bad things, and utterly confusing things.

Good : The characters are pretty endearing, for the most part. I'm not gonna be thinking about them for long after finishing the game, but they're nice, there were lots of funny quips and cute moments. That's mostly what kept me around despite the bad gameplay (and other issues I'll get to), I wanted to know what would happen to these people ! Also I loved that there are so many nonbinary characters !! With different presentations and pronouns !! AND who are all humans :D That made me really happy.

Bad : The pacing is bad. My god it's bad. Most of the first half of the game boils down to : we have to do x, but for that we have to go to y, but we can't so we have to ask w in z, and just when you think you can, finally, do x, another obstacle pops up and you have to go on the other side of the map to do something else. It really feels like you're making little to no progress, and it ended up being quite frustrating at times. The second half of the game is better, but sometimes, after an emotiolly intense moment, you would snap right back to "oh we have to go to q but there's a giant rock in the way !". Jarring. Also some scenes left me asking "wait that's it ? You're not gonna discuss things further ?" or "Why aren't the characters reacting to this ?". The story in itself was ok, but the pacing... yikes.

Also, this is more a personal gripe that anything, but... (spoilers warning) I really didn't like how the game handled trauma and ptsd. It fell into the ol' trope of "ptsd/delusions makes people dangerous and violent", and that's not really something I expected from a game that tries to be progressive about this stuff (The inclusion of content warnings is a very good thing !! more games should do that). And I'm not talking like "lashing out at people", no, we're talking kidnapping, assault, murder, potentially triggering the apocalypse. And like, the game deliberately puts these characters through some of the worst things that could happen to them, which made them very violent and dangerous as a result... I don't know, it feels pretty thoughtless and cruel. Not to mention that they then go down the "oh but it's not your fault it's the traumaaaaaa" which, ew, no. No, mental illness, ptsd, trauma etc don't make people inherently violent and dangerous. But when you harm people, it's serious, and you should make amends, regardless of what mental ilness(es) you may or may not have. I dunno, maybe it's just me but that whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth.

Confusing  : There's a character who is handled very weirdly ??? Like, at the beginning of the game they're pretty present, they get an arc, join you and then... barely do anything ???? They almost never interact with the others, or react to what's going on ? There are scene where they went to the trouble to show their sprite (characters who don't contribute to the conversations usually don't appear), but they don't say or do anything ??? At most they make a quip about fighting and stuff but that's it ??? There was a scene when the group argues and a few characters go off on their own, and other follow them and comfort them. I thought, well, since they have a huge crush on the protagonist, they're gonna go and talk to her, right ? They're the only one who hasn't left yet. But nope ! They don't even react ! And yet they're one of the few characters who gets a song ???? I feels like they were added as an afterthought what It's a shame, they're pretty fun.

TL;DR The characters are endearing but one is handled weirdly, the pacing is bad and some plot points felt unsavory.

And finally, some random stuff. In general, the world feel very bare and empty. I'm not just talking about the very low number of npc, there's a plot reason for that, but there is almost no flavor text ?? At first I tried to check out everything, to learn more about this setting and the people in it, but the only things you can interact with are plot important. Makes the whole world rather flat, and that's a shame ! I would've liked to learn more !

One good thing though, is the inclusion of accessibility features like different options for the timing gameplay, displaying content warnings and stuff (though I've seen someone say the game wasn't friendly to photosensitive people , there is an option to reduce flashing lights but I dunno how good it is). That's very nice, and I hope more games will include those features !

So here's my giant wall of text on Ikenfell. I'm sad I didn't end up liking it more, but the game has quite a few issues (ESPECIALLy gameplay-wise). I hope the developers will take that as an opportunity to leanr, because I'm sure they can make good games ! There's some good stuff in there, some good ideas that would've just needed to be imlplemented better !

[celawrites]

Day 21

The sun’s hues blind me while I type. But if I were any other basic person, I would take a selfie and bask in the sun. Too bad I’m not. I stretch and head out of my car. It’s currently 7:07 and since I had a good rest on the car, I settle for continuing the story on school grounds.

Madison is there when I head over to my usual seat. I move out of the way and let her stay there. I was here to type and manifest ideas, not deal with her shenanigans.

“So” She sneers. “How’d you do it?”

I ignore her. Some days I wish I could block people irl. Well, I guess murder works as well but I mean too many legal issues. A restraining order? She hasn’t done anything bad to me though.

“I asked you a question bitch”

I continue typing. I’m rather glad that I’m currently typing an analysis on a love rival, this is actually the perfect material for the new character.

“All you ever do is stay silent and type. What happened to that strong persona you have when he’s around huh? You haven’t changed one bit” she snickers.

I spare her a glance and continue typing.

“Not gonna answer me huh? Tell me. How many of them did you sleep with you slut,” She hisses out. “There’s no way any of them would befriend you after the rumor that surfaced about you”

My hands remain busy on my keyboard as I give her the only reply she’s getting. “Is that all?”

“What do you mean? Tsk. So you admit that you seduced half of the school into voting for you?”

In my mind, I snort at her assumptions, but I ignore her words. The sun is already in the sky by now, and Sun should be joining us any moment.

“Just so you know, I actually am Serenity. And I will not hesitate to send my fanbase after you and ruin your life. So I suggest that you stay away from what’s mine”

“So I’m an object now?” Sun walks over to us.

“Ah, good morning darling!” Madison beams, a fake one, you can kind of tell how her arms are tense.

“Good morning Sun, took you longer than usual”

“There was a little traffic on the freeway. Good morning Madison” he nods and settles down next to me. “What’s today’s prompt?”

“Antagonist design. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.” Despite Sun not knowing who I was, he still knew that I had a passion for writing.

“Mm.”

“Hey darling. Do you want a signed book from me? I’m hosting a fan-sign soon and you seemed pretty invested in the book last year.”

“Serenity doesn’t host fan-signs. For all we know, she could be a he, and they could be an old woman in her forties. So no.” Sun sighs.

“Stop frowning, you’re gonna get wrinkles.” I hum, noticing how he creased his eyebrows.

“Says the one with permanent eyebags”

“So which cafe are you guys headed to this Friday? I wanna join you guys!” Madison is glowing, I kind of need medicine or something, she’s too fake.

Sun and I both remain silent. Madison shuffles uncomfortably in her seat and Sun leans over and reads my analysis to ignore her. “Vinicia. A woman known for her charms, she owns one of the largest underground empires in the city. Constantly picking a fight with Seph. She controls almost every high-level street fighter possible”

He hums. “Known for being an angel in real life. Constantly helping out anyone and everyone, only a few know how two-sided she is. Sounds familiar”

“Does it? I was just thinking about every other basic antagonist”

“Not in-depth enough. Why is she that way? Is she bored? Does she want to avenge someone? And also, what’s her empire called? What does it consist of? Is she really as innocent as she makes up? Does she have any hints that you can tell that she isn’t?” Sun points out.

“It’s only the early stages Sun. It’s not like I have a deadline for these prompts”

“True huh” I do have a deadline, and the deadline is in a week. I was supposed to turn in all my character plans for my next book yesterday, but things happened and I was given another week.

“So Madison.” I hum. “What’s your next book going to be about?”

She tenses, and at this point, there are multiple students around who are also curious. “A-ah. I posted it on my blog a little while back! It’s about love. But you know, there’s also an antagonist and stuff”

I hum, and Sun snickers. “Serenity doesn’t give such vague answers. If you’re going to pretend to be her, then at least play the part. Her next work is on magic”

“B-but I am Serenity! So what if I tend to overshare on the internet? You guys can just get all of this information on my blog!” Madison stammers out.

The first bell saves her from any more questions, and everyone scrambles to get ready for class. I text Sun the answer to one of the math questions as my confession today and snicker when he flushes red. ( i < 3u )

The day passes like normal, and when Sun runs up to me after school, I’m more than confused.

“cRESS”

“What’s wrong Sun?”

“Take me out”

“With a gun or on a date?”

“Either. I’m tired and I don’t want to go on a date with Madison”

“PFft.”

“sUN~” Madison runs over and Sun speeds himself to the front seat. I laugh and slip in myself. A knock is heard on the window and Sun opens the window. His hand is in mine, a habit that I let him develop because of his anxiety. I rub soft circles on his hand, and though we’re not dating, at this point we could be friends with benefits but only benefits of cheesy stuff.

“Is something wrong?”

“So what about our date?”

“I’m already hanging out with Cress today.”

“Can I join in? It’s not a date right?”

“ah-”

“It’s a date” both Madison and I look at him in shock. EXCUSE ME? I DID NOT AGREE TO FAKE DATE YOU IDIOT HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME CRUSHING ON YOU FOR THIS I DIDN’T AGREE TO THIS HISSS.

Sun shrugs and motions for me to drive. Deciding to be cheeky, I grin. “I’ll tell you if he’s a good kisser later Madison! See you!” I step on the gas and leave.

“I hate you” I mumble.

“You’re in love with me” Sun hums.

“And you’re being a jerk by playing me”

He remains quiet for a bit. “I panicked. I’m sorry”

I remain quiet and opt to drive to an empty parking lot instead.

“You owe me a 3am McDonalds run now”

“Alright. What are we doing here anyways?”

“I need vibes. I can’t type without them. If you have any questions or need anything, feel free to swap seats with me and drive there” I hum.

“Alright”

He’s quiet until he catches me off guard with a question.

“So you think I’m a good kisser?”

I choke. whERE THE FUCK IS THAT COMING FROM?

“W-what?” I cough.

“You said you’d tell Madison if I was a good kisser or not”

“I mean I had to think of something cheeky to say. You’d be sorely wrong if you think I’d let an opportunity like that slip by.”

“So you didn’t want to kiss me?” He smirks.

“You’ve never kissed someone before. You’d be sorely wrong if you think I’d agree”

“Says the one who’s never dated someone before”

“I’m hURT”

The bantering goes on until it’s nearing 4pm, and I drive him home. His brother is quick to ask me for the details but I only tell him that we hadn’t done anything except correct my horrible grammar on my stories. Z only huffs.

The rest of the day passes silently, and my home is quiet as usual. Nighttime approaches, and I’m in bed again.

Previous : Masterlist : Next

[anne-lister-adventures]

Friday, 10 May 1839

7 1/4

12

Before dressing wrote note to Mr. Waterhouse – Cold East wind as yesterday Fahrenheit 46º inside and 44º outside at 8 3/4 a.m. and breakfast having sent down my note for George to take to ‘John Waterhouse Esquire Well-Head’ purporting that if it suited his convenience and his own views of those of the rest of the Committee, I should be happy to see him on the subject of the temporary cavalry barracks at anytime he might appoint today, tomorrow, or Monday – 

Breakfast over about 9 1/4 Isaac Hemingway having waited a few minutes – A-[Ann] sent for him to say she had heard from Captain and Mrs. Sutherland and he, I.[Isaac] H-[Hemingway], and his father John H-[Hemingway] were to have the stone at 10d. per ft.[foot] – 

Same terms of lease as Bentley of which I read aloud to him the material parts – Average thickness of bed to be taken at 6 ft.[feet] at 10d. = 5/- per yard superior – Rent to commence from 1 July next, and 1st payment to be due 1 January next – 400 yards at 5/- to be paid for per annum – Got or not – And if more got, more paid for – If the bed thinner, to be allowed for – If thicker paid for after the additional rate of 10d. per foot – 

I fancied S.[Samuel] W.[Washington] would not take any notice of any additional thickness that was much under a foot – No! Hemingway thought anything under 6 in.[inches] should not be thought of – But I distinctly said A-[Ann] and I could say nothing on this subject – There would be the lease to go by, and Mr. S.[Samuel] W.[Washington] would do what was right – 

A-[Ann] and I would probably go to Landymere on Monday or Tuesday and take Booth with us to see the 400 yards square plot (term 4 years – To be paid for in 3 years) staked out – 

It might be a few minutes past 10 when A-[Ann] and I went into the North room to Holt whom we had sent for very early this morning about the Rookes coal-loose – No restrictions necessary – Mr. Whiteley could loose no coal but 4 or 5 (H-[Holt] said 5 or 6 before) acres of his own except what belonged to Captain and Mrs. S-[Sutherland] and that H-[Holt] said before would have to be loosed by an engine – 

The coal lies differently there from here – Rises towards the East – But still on shewing H-[Holt] the plan he seemed to shew the general dip as from West to East – There is a throw-down that prevents W-[Whiteley] getting any more than 4 to 6 acres except what belongs to the S-s[Sutherlands] which H-[Holt] repeated (as he said before) should be let at £150 per acre to W-[Whiteley] if he applied  for it – The S-s[Sutherlands] should have a power to send down their agents to inspect W-s[Whiteley’s] works whenever they (the S-s[Sutherlands]) thought fit – 

H-[Holt] would let W-[Whiteley] have the loose for as long as he wanted it – could get about an acre in a year – The loose is an old level that has been driven which W-[Whiteley] ought to have the power of cleaning out – Suppose limited to get the coal under such and such ground – Hemmed in by the S-s[Sutherlands] – And the ground on the upper side, Priestley Green &c. not belonging to the S-s[Sutherlands], has no coal – It breaks out there – Loose to be £10 a year to be paid from the time of signing the agreement – 

An application from A-‘s[Ann’s] Bouldshaw tenants, Messers Holmes and Co., to Captain and Mrs. S-[Sutherland] thro’ Holt for the engine coal in the 2 little fields adjoining the road (from 2 to 3 acres of coal) – Would give £130 per acre – Holt thought full as much as it was worth more than he should like to give for it himself – 

On Holt’s going A-[Ann] had Mr. Parker respecting her Navigation stock – 4 shares sold at £434 each the purchaser taking the dividend due at midsummer = 4 x 9 = £36. A-[Ann] signed away the 4 shares to Messers…. Tew and Co. bankers Wakefield – the money to be paid to P-[Parker] and A-[Adam] on Monday or Tuesday next £600 of it to be paid immediately to Marian for Lee Lane; and as to the rest A-[Ann] would write word what she would have done with it – 

Gave P-[Parker] Hinscliffe’s coal lease with instructions for the new  agreement – P-[Parker] seemed to think it could not be safely done by Memorandum – Nor Holt nor Hinscliffe can possibly tell how much can be got – But H-[Holt] thinks the quantity cannot exceed 1 1/2 acres – The agreement limited to what is under the road, the 23 perches of plantation and the 3 acres + of the one field called Flashes lying alongside the Crownest carriage road – 

Mr. Crossland wants a copy of his lease – Gave Mr. P-[Parker] the lease back with him to be copied and then returned immediately – This led to the mention of the temporary cavalry-stables – P-[Parker] said they could not raise the money – I said the stables should be on the reserved ground and might extend, if required along the top of St. Anne’s Street – Just put my finger on the the narrow out-of-line Street on Mr. Day’s plan, as if merely done to light Mr. Abbot’s cottages – 

Then miscellaneous talk about the resignation Ministers &c. the bringing in Lord Pollington &c. &c. Robson in London the great man of business of the Mexbroughs – Not much done here – 

Had proposed before A-[Ann] left us (perhaps about 11 1/2 or later?) the giving Messers P-[Parker] and A-[Adam] £50 a year for their Agency for us both; and said they would be better paid than P-[Parker] would be for going over to N.[North] Cave (to see Miss Marian about the Lee Lane title deeds) 2 days away and expense for four guineas – A deputation would cost her six guineas – She had best come over – 

I said they P-[Parker] and A-[Adam] would have nothing to do for A-[Ann] and me but be receive the rents and be responsible for them, and for all payments to Booth – To give notices to quit, and to let free of expense – To do, in at the £50 per annum; what law stewards usually did but to be paid for all extra law work – But would by and by given clear written directions – Mr. P-[Parker] staid till 12 10/’’ then till 12 55/’’ wrote all but the 1st line of today – Then till 1 10/’’ wrote as follows to Marian to go tonight –

“Shibden Hall – Friday 10 May 1839.

My dear Marian –

Mr. Parker has just been here, and said he had a 1/2 written letter which he meant to send you by this evening’s post – We told him to inform you, that the money would be ready for you any day after the fifteenth – He said the deeds could not possibly be ready – Miss Walker will make no difficulty about this – It will be a great convenience to you to have the money; and you had best take the opportunity – 

It seems, a deputation (respecting the copyhold) would cost you six guineas; and Mr. Parker’s going over, he told us, should be charged four guineas – Little enough for his 2 days of time and travelling expense – Your best plan would be, to come over as soon as you can – 

Answer Mr. Parker’s letter by instructing him to get on with the deeds as fast as he can, adding that you intend to be here on the fifteenth (Wednesday next), and will then settle everything – 

Do not hesitate – We can take in your maid without any trouble – Put posters to your carriage, and be here by seven in the evening, to dinner – 

I forgot to mention Robert Geoffrey in my last letter, and to ask you to let him know, that, on consideration, I thought it best to give up all thought of his coming here – 

Miss Walker is out – But I am sure I may send her love – Affectionately yours A L-[Lister]

You must count upon being here a few days; for your business cannot be done in less time – You will be awakened early in the morning by workmen, but will not, I trust, be subject to any other inconvenience” –

All the above just filled 2 pp.[pages] – had written so far at 1 25/’’ – 

A-[Ann] returned a few minutes ago, or, at least, I have heard her bell ring – with A-[Ann] read her my letter to Marian and wrote her copy of what she ought to write to Marian and of what she ought to write to Mr. Washington with Bentleys sstone lease to be copied by him for the two Hemingways        as desired by Mrs. Sutherland – 

1/4 hour at luncheon – I took a little cold roast roll of beef and then hot gingerbread which A-[Ann] said she enjoyed – She seems better today – She has Mr. Horner this afternoon, and is just gone to him now at 2 3/4 – 

Then went out to Robert Mann and William Lord and Ben and Thomas Sharpe filling carts (my own 2 horses – the 3d.[3rd] in the stable) with clay from the Laundry court road to near the glen bridge – Ordered the third horse out, and the clay to be carried on the top of the embankment between the back Lodge gates and the rock bridge – With Robert Mann there levelling after the carts till 5 – 

Then a little while at Listerwick saw Holt and Joseph Mann on their return from Hannah Walker’s – They went to set out the 300 yards of ground A-[Ann] is to have alongside the Crownest carriage road – Nothing set out – 

H.[Hannah] W.[Walker] wished all to remain as it is till after hay time she will then oblige Miss Walker who is to have what she wants whether she, H.[Hannah] W.[Walker], sells the coal or not – 

Told Holt to write again for the engine bill from Low Moor – Back with Robert Mann on the embankment just before 6 – then with him about explaining what I wished to be done – Told him I had made up my mind not to hire a gardener at present, but would take him R.[Robert] M.[Mann] at £50 per annum till his banks-man’s place at Listerwick was ready for him – Said Holt had told me, it would be a year first – R.[Robert] M.[Mann] very well satisfied – Said he would do anything – He would do the best he could – Said I wished the horses to earn their keep – He must talk things over with Booth – 

I should appoint to pay and to do what I myself did when at home – I hoped all would go on well – Robert to advise B-[Booth] about the colliery and to write to me this to the care of Messers Hammersley’s if he thought proper – With Robert the joiner and Mrs. Lee a little while – 

Then with A-[Ann] dressed – dinner at 7 20/’’ – A-[Ann] read French (in the North parlour) coffee – Read the newspaper and then wrote the last 19 1/2 lines till now 9 25/’’ – Then sat talking to A-[Ann] till came upstairs at 10 40/’’ fine but dull day and cold East wind as yesterday Fahrenheit 44º inside and 36º outside at 10 3/4 p.m. – then at accounts (making up rough book) till 11 20/’’ –

[symbols in the margin of the page:] N         ✓

[in the margin of the page:]   Stone let by A-[Ann] to the 2 Hemingways

[in the margin of the page:]   Rooke’s coal loose

[in the margin of the page:]   vide p.[page] 78.

[in the margin of the page:]   Sutherland Rookes coal £150 per acre

[in the margin of the page:]   Sutherland Engine coal £130 per acre

[in the margin of the page:]   A-[Ann] signs away 4 Navigation shares

[in the margin of the page:]   A-‘s[Ann’s] new coal lease to Hinscliffe

[in the margin of the page:]   will give R.[Robert] M.[Mann] £50

Page References:  SH:7/ML/E/23/0039 and  SH:7/ML/E/23/0040

[randomkposts]

Hello

I figured I should start with wall of quotes. Cause whynot

Quotes “It's hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots." - Katniss.”

“Here's some advice. Stay alive.” “The cat that Prim got hates me, I think partly because I tried to drown it.” “District 12: Where you can starve to death in safety.”“No. Now, shut up and eat your pears."

” It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death." "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-”“Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”

"Well, leprechauns. You know they're not real, don't you?""Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron."

"I majored in Ancient History. You have your own page in the 'Criminally Insane' section."

"Really, Butler, I must begin choosing my business associates more carefully. Hardly a day goes by when we aren't the victims of some plot.""The punching is not helping my concentration, by the way.""Oh, brilliant. I must write that one down in my witty retorts book."

"The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him.""Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"

"This is a well. You might think that there is something to it... But in fact it is just an ordinary well."

Woman in Ur : Hey, where are you four brats off to now? What...? You're going to go save the world...? Did you get hit on the head or something!?

Gilgamesh : Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT IS MORPHING TIME! Galuf : Bartz! Stop that! Bartz : But it's fun! poke, poke, poke... Bartz : Jumping Christmas!

Edgar : "That's Shadow! He'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!" Kefka : "This is sickening! You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet! Prepare yourselves!" Locke : "Hey! Call me a TREASURE HUNTER, or I'll rip your lungs out!" Edgar : "If something were to happen to me, all the world's women would grieve!" Setzer : "My life is a chip in your pile. Ante up."

Yuffie : So! I saved the great Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks?

Squall : Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views. Squall : I dreamt I was a moron...

Seifer : Great, I have one chicken-wuss and one kid who just entered puberty in my team! Squall : ...Whatever.

Auron: The red carpet has teeth. Auron: Outside the dream world, life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life.

Rikku: Memories are nice, but that's all they are.

Kimahri: Pick spot. Shut up. Wait.

Rikku: Do you think we need a password? Paine: How about 'Kick..it's..ass' Paine : The hardest person to know is one's self.

Raogrimm: People are capable of kindness beyond angels, yet we also commit sins that would put a demon to shame... Lonely Chocobo: Warkkkkk!!! Gweh!!!! Warkkkk

Naja Salaheem : (After Abquhbah faints when he realizes that he's speaking to the empress) Nothing to be concerned about, Your Magnificence. Mercenaries are trained to sleep anywhere, anytime if the opportunity presents itself.

Lightning: Worst birthday ever. Lightning: It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do. Lightning: We live to make the impossible possible! That is our focus!

White Mage: Hi. I was just wondering if you knew how much we've suffered because of you. Good day. [after finding the Falcon Rydia : It's not yours. Edge : That's okay, it would be happy to be used by us!

...That's General Leo.. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.

You think a minor thing like the end of the world was gonna do me in?

"What a cute doggy!' "Leave us. The dog eats strangers...'

This should be fun. When do we leave?

Read my lips - mercy is for wimps! There's a reason "oppose" rhymes with "dispose"...If they get in your way, kill them!I don't care for the appearance of this pitiful little hamlet... So burn it!!

Figaro Guard : Kefka's "One shy of a six pack!" Imperial soldier : I oppose peace! Narshe resident : Narshe is a neutral city.! We want no war here, but that %#$@& Empire won't listen! South Figaro Resident : We may be thieves, but at least we have goals in life!

Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It carries the departed to the other side. Sabin : Wait! I don't want to go THERE!

Strago: Go to your room! Relm : I will not! What a fussy old man! Strago : Relm! Is that you, my dear? You're alive! Relm : Idiot! Of course I'm alive! Strago : Oh, I'm so happy..." Relm : Did you think I was gonna check out before you, old man? Strago : You're as foul mouthed as ever, bless your heart!

Shadow: I know what friendship is... and family...

"It's not my problem."

"Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!" "I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER!" "Mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing!"

Don't need no appointment... This is a 'mergency! Anyone who don't wanna get their face bashed in better git outta the way!! "I've got the wrong person."

W-wait a second. I won't run or hide. Yes, I was a spy. I was hired by the Shinra. I couldn't help it. How 'bout if we continue like nothing ever happened?

Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!

This's gonna be a big splash. Hold on to your drawers, an' don't piss in 'em!!

Maybe God'd forgive an ugly shit like you, but I won't!

I don't know what the hell it is, but it's falling from the sky. Hmpf! It's not even an omen.

Hey, do you know who I am? I'm Cid—that's who the hell I am! Now just let me handle it!

I don't want to regret not having done something later.

I always thought this planet was so huge. But lookin' at it from space, I realized it's so small. We're just floatin' in the dark. ...kinda makes you feel powerless. On top of that it's got Sephiroth festerin' inside it like a sickness. That's why I say this planet's still a kid. A little kid sick and trembling in the middle of this huge universe. Someone's gotta protect it. Ya follow me? That someone is us.

We're busy runnin' back and forth! Even my bikini goddess would be pantin' about now!

Oh, GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!

Escape from a world of illusions... Hmph... I wonder which is better.

I know you want my help because I'm so good!

Cloud, put me in your party, so I can get off this ship. Cloud...sign this. It's a contract that says when the war is over, all the materia will belong to me.

The stars shine so bright, like glowing materia... reach up and grab one. GROSSNESS! Don't mess with me old man! You don't even have any Materia!

Citizens, unite! Come to the light, Mako energy. Power is truth. Shinra is the future. Real happiness can be found in obedience to the company People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished.

Godo : Go! Survive till the end! And return! With the Materia! Doctor in Mideel : You can see for yourself what things look like, but at least no one was seriously hurt. We're just very unhappy now. Junon soldier : I'm learning to be a delinquent soldier!! I just can't seem to get the hang of it! Reeve Tuesti : What may be a few to you was everything to those who died...

Barret : She ain't gonna show up. 'Least this time she didn't steal our materia. Guess we gotta be thankful for that. Yuffie : How could you say that!? I came all the way here after being seasick as a dog! I didn't go through all that just to have you guys have the best parts all to yourselves!

...A speech? Forget it. Cut the mic!

You're-going-to-like-me! You're-going-to-like-me! Did it work?

D-Do you have any...hot dogs left?

...The HELL! Man...Now this is what I call boring. This ain't right, man!

YOOOO!!! The HELL you doin'!!!?

I'm a pretty lucky guy. Hand in hand with two beautiful girls.

That is sooo vague!

Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!

Well, Zell was riding his T-Board in the hallways of Garden. He made a sharp turn and went straight into the woman's res...

Sharpshooters are loners by nature... We hone our instincts, pour our whole being in a single bullet. The pressure of the moment... An instant of tension... That's what... I have to face alone...

Well, fine then! We WILL have a good time!

Thanks for the support, but I never miss my target.

Well, we could skin this little guy and wear him as a disguise...

I say things that get a rise out of some people. Just don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine.

Ooh neato! A hole in the middle of no-where!

You've all heard this before. How life has infinite possibilities. I don't believe that one bit. There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken.

Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!

...Speeding. Let's go arrest that student for violation of academy regulations. Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way. It's a Squad B rule.

This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!

And so, Laguna runs for dear life. She got upset and put fruit jam in your shoes. You were almost in tears!

Fujin: DISTURBING.RAGE!SHOCK!GOOD. CONVENIENT.PERSUASION, USELESS. SEIZE!IGNORE.RUN!ELLONE? NOT HERE.FATIGUE POSSE... We are. We always will be. Because we're a posse, we want to help you. Whatever it takes to fulfill your dream, we're willing to do. But... You're being manipulated, Seifer. You've lost yourself and your dream. You're just eating out of someone's hand. We want the old you back! Since we can't get through to you, all we have now to rely on is Squall! It's sad... Sad that we only have Squall to rely on... Seifer! Are you still gonna keep goin'?

Big Sister: I can't wait until I meet a guy that I can scream at and exchange blows with!

Quistis : You're the squad leader. Good luck to you. Seifer : ...Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student who needs them, eh? Quistis : Alright, then. Good luck, Seifer. Seifer : [to Fujin and Raijin] Add Instructor Trepe to the list. Zone : Our plan is to...Selphie : ...Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!? Zone : [taken aback] ...Ahh...not quite... Rinoa : Oh, shut up! I made it like that on purpose. It represents my hatred towards Deling. Zell : Hatred, eh? Yeah...right. Selphie : It's one of the...ugliest things that I've ever seen in my life. You must really hate him.

You don't need a reason to help people.No cloud, nor squall shall hinder us!Piece of cake. I'm an escape artist.

In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but that's the way things are. The choice is yours.

SON OF A SHOOPUFF!

Al Bhed is Al Bhed. Rikku is Rikku. Rikku swore to protect Yuna. And Rikku is not a liar. Kimahri can tell. So, she is a friend.

Why are you still here, sir? (pause as Auron looks at him) I beg your pardon. We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane.

Rikku : Did you...hit your head or something? Tidus : Um, you guys hit me. Rikku : Oh, right...do you remember anything before that?

Sometimes, when I got a lot on my mind, it just helps to go, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave." "Guard your emotions first, then guard your summoner." "Ha! Legendary guardian? I was just a boy. A boy about your age actually. I wanted to change the world too, but I changed nothing. That is my story." "Don't look to others for knowledge. This is your story."

Don't think it's just a game. Your life's on the line. "You. It's what's for dinner." You. Are. Hired."

Barkeep : Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?

Yuna : Duck Soup! Paine : Duck what?

Rikku : I'm gonna kick you in the spleen! Paine : Spleen?

Lightning : (to soldier).Nice gun. Noctis : Goodbye, whoever you are.

You sure are a keen observer of the obvious, kupo!

And I know some "little girls" who can kick your butt!

"You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb. Annabeth: Was it hard?"

"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?" "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."'

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades." "The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about? Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! . . . They don't seem to care."-

"What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year."

“You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”

Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death." "I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.”

"Well, Percy, what have we learned today?""That three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?""No," "We've learned that your plans really, really bite!”

"Dude!" said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!”

“Boys are usually forbidden to have any contact with the Hunters. The last one to see this camp…” She looked at Zoe. “Which one was it?”"That boy in Colorado,” Zoe said. “You turned him into a jackalope.”Ah, yes.” Artemis nodded, satisfied. “I enjoy making jackalopes…”

“Christmas in the Underworld was NOT my idea. If I'd known what was coming, I would've called in sick. I could've avoided an army of demons, a fight with a Titan, and a trick that almost got my friends and me cast into eternal darkness. But no, I had to take my stupid English exam.”

“Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian." "You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him."Those are vegetables.”

"How about this: stealing is not always bad?""I don't think my mom would like that moral."

I thought about the lines Rachel had spoken in that creepy voice: about storm and fire and the Doors of Death. "Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good.""No," said Apollo cheerfully. "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!”

"My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on - it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

Running with a drowsy child of Hades was more like doing a 3 -legged race with a life size rag doll.”

“Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”

“You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.”

" He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape”

“Juniper: Are you guys busy? Percy: Well, we’re in the middle of this game against a bunch of monsters and we’re trying not to die. Annabeth: We’re not busy. ”

Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works."I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?"Oh . . . yes. Good point.”

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."

"with great power... comes great need to take a nap"

“Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!”“Well," I said. "If you need me, I'll be outside, playing with sharp objects.”

“Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.”

“I guessed his name was Face of Horror. I wondered how long it had taken his mom to think of that. Bob? No. Sam? No. How about Face of Horror?”

“Now the tattoos," Zia announced."Brilliant!" I said."On your tongue," she added."Excuse me?”

“I just love family meetings. Very cozy, with the Christmas garlands round the fireplace and a nice pot of tea and a detective from Scotland Yard ready to arrest you.”

“Carter Kane, 14, died tragically in Paris when he was eaten by his sister’s cat Muffin.”

“There will be guards,” Bast said. “And traps. And alarms. You can bet the house is heavily charmed to keep out gods.” “Magicians can do that?” I asked. I imagined a big can of pesticide labeled God-Away.”

“I believe you, Sadie.""Oh really. I'm holding the bloody feather of truth, and you believe me. Well, thanks.”

I guess it started in London, the night our dad blew up the British museum.”

“The baboon is driving,” I noted. “Should I be worried?”

“Thank Ra!” She exclaimed. “Yeah, I’m alive.” “No, I almost jumped in after you. I hate the water!”

“Why did adults have to be so thick? They always say “tell the truth,” and when you do, they don’t believe you. What’s the point?”

“I must admit I’m impressed, Sadie. You controlled your magic and controlled Isis. And you, Carter, did well turning into a lizard.”

“That’s Narmer with the spoon,” I guessed. “Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?”

“Most of Set’s forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall down and hit them, but no one says demons are bright).

"Great another mystery. I was about to suggest we ram Amos’s head against it and see if that worked.”

The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.”

“I looked back, but Bast and Sadie seemed fine. They were still staring at the water as if it were some amazing Internet video.”

. Why would someone display a rock? Aren't there enough of those in the world?”

“Dejardins was so stunned, he momentarily forgot how to speak English. "Ce n'est pas possible. On ne pourrait pas-”

[majdbrja]

illusion - kjd

Jung [name] sat down on her bed, the computer screen on, with her favourite band playing. She smiled, watching her boyfriend sing his heart out on the screen.

“You’re beautiful,” a voice sounded from behind her, and [name] turned around and locked eyes with Jongdae. Said girl blushed and reached for her boyfriend to come closer. He obliged and sat down behind her, engulfing her into a tight squeeze.

“You are. And your singing only adds to your already amazing beauty,” [name] replied, and pecked Jongdae softly on the lips.

“Have you taken your pills?” Jongdae suddenly turned serious, and [name] shook her head, realising she almost went through the morning without taking her pills. She had been taking them for a year, months before she started dating Jongdae, to help with her depression.

“I’ll do that now,” [name] said and hopped off the bed, walking to her bathroom and grabbing the needed medication. When she returned, Jongdae had changed out of his comfortable wear and was eagerly waiting by the front door.

“Get changed, [name]. I want to go out with you!” he beamed, and [name] couldn’t help but let out a small smile.

“What about your fans? Won’t they recognise you?”

Jongdae shook his head and held up a face mask as well as his sunglasses and [name] hurried to her bedroom to get changed.

Out on the streets, as [name] and Jongdae walked arm in arm, many passer-byers gave the pair of them confused, and odd glances. “Dae-Dae, why are they looking at us like that?”

“I don’t know,” Jongdae shook his head but kept walking, ignoring the glances cast his and [name]’s way. He hurried down the streets and ducked into a coffee shop where there were barely any people.

“Welcome,” the lady at the cashier greeted, and [name] and Jongdae walked over to her, peering at the menu of things they could get. “What can I get for you today, Miss?”

“Um…I’ll have an iced chocolate,” [name] turned to Jongdae. “What do you want?”

As Jongdae was still deciding, [name] noticed the cashier give her an odd look, and looked around the store, seeming to ignore Jongdae.

“I’ll just have the same,” Jongdae said and [name] nodded, repeating the order to the woman. She gave [name] her change and the couple went and sat down.

Their drinks came fairly quickly, since there was little to no one in the shop, and [name] and Jongdae began to drink them. “Did you like it? I know you’ve never had one before.”

Jongdae nodded. “You do have good taste, considering, you know, your opinions almost always suck–”

“Yah!” [name] laughed and hit Jongdae’s arm. “I can’t be as worse as you. Remember that time at the clothes store and–”

“Okay let’s go!” Jongdae stood up, cutting [name] off, causing her to let out a loud laugh. The pair left the store and stopped as they reached the SM entertainment building.

“Are you still coming to the fan sign tomorrow?” Jongdae asked, holding onto [name]’s small hands tightly.

She nodded. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Do you still want me to wait with the other fans?”

Jongdae nodded. “Yep. I have a surprise for you.”

“Okay,” [name] placed a gentle kiss on his lips before turning to walk off. She smiled in content as she skipped down the streets, but stopped abruptly when two of Jongdae’s bandmates were coming her way.

Perfect, [name] thought, I can finally meet them. Over the past five months of her dating Jongdae, she had never actually met his band members. There had always been opportunities, but either [name] or Jongdae couldn’t make it.

“Oh! Chanyeol and Junmyeon, right? Jongdae’s told me a lot about you,” [name] smiled up at the taller men as she stopped in front of them. Both men shot each other worried glances but smiled nervously down at her.

“Are you a fan?” Junmyeon hesitantly asked.

[Name] nodded, “well, I was – and still am – but I’m [name], Jongdae’s girlfriend.”

“Who?!” Chanyeol gasped.

“Um…” [name] suddenly felt insecure at the looks they gave her, “hasn’t…hasn’t he talked about me before…? We’ve been dating for five months…”

“Oh, um,” Junmyeon gulped but gave [name] a warm smile anyway, “y-yeah, of course, sorry, I just didn’t recognise you for a second…”

[Name]’s confidence returned and she smiled wide. “Well I’m glad to finally meet the pair of you! But I should get going. I have work to do at home.”

Junmyeon nodded, and waved her off. “Who was that?” [name] heard Chanyeol whisper to Junmyeon as she walked off.

“I don’t know. I just played along, she might be a sasaeng.” She turned back around in shock and gaped as the two Exo members hurried out of the cold and into the entertainment building. Was what she heard true?! Did they really think she was a sasaeng fan?

Before she went to bed, [name] looked at all the photos of Jongdae and herself, hanging up on her wall. She was, at first, a fan, but ever since Jongdae asked her out, she’d been more than that. She’d supported the boys in every way possible. She loved them, and she loved Jongdae.

[Name] walked over to her desk, where she had a notebook sitting inside one of the draws. She pulled it out and flipped it to a blank page, and began to write. It was where she’d write all her problems, adventures and anything worth writing about.

I just met Chanyeol and Junmyeon, but then they called me a sasaeng fan as I was leaving, for saying I was Jongdae’s girlfriend. I don’t know why they would do that…surely Jongdae would’ve told them about the girl he’s been dating for months, right? I don’t see why he wouldn’t. I love Jongdae so much, and I want to get along with his members, but it seems like those two didn’t really like me…

The twenty-four-year-old closed the book and got ready for a shower. The notebook was nearly filled, mostly with things relating to her boyfriend. [Name] was advised by her doctor when he first began prescribing pills to her, to have a notebook, where she could release some of her problems. At first, the book only had her difficulties, but as she and Jongdae began dating, the entries had mainly only been happiness-filled.

[Name] got ready for bed, eager to see Jongdae again the next day.

-

[Name] woke up early, and grinned when she realised she had more than enough time to get to the venue. She dressed in an outfit Jongdae had bought for her and applied a nice amount of makeup, but kept her hair down.

However, when [name] saw the time, she realised she had been getting ready for too long, and rushed out of her house forgetting to take the pills she needed to take in the mornings.

I’ll just take them when I get back from seeing Jongdae, [name] thought, and caught a taxi to the venue that was holding the fan meet.

When [name] got there, she was relieved to not be too far away from the boys. The line took an hour, but she finally made it, and when [name] sat in front of Jongdae, she gave him her biggest smile.

“I missed you, Dae-Dae,” she said, handing him the album she’d gotten from him as a present.

“What?” Jongdae looked up at her, confusion etching its way onto his gorgeous features.

[Name] chuckled slightly, “Oh, I know I only saw you yesterday, but I was looking forward to seeing you again today.”

Jongdae nudged Junmyeon who was sitting next to him, and Junmyeon looked over, gasping when he noticed [name]. He whispered something into Jongdae’s ear and said man widened his eyes.

“Um…who are you?”

Was he joking? He had to be, Jongdae loved playing tricks on [name], and this was just another. “Ha ha. Very funny. It’s Jung [name] idiot. Your girlfriend.”

Jongdae shot Junmyeon another look and both of them began to look very uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

[Name] rolled her eyes and got her phone out, going to her camera roll to find a picture of them both. [Name] was beginning to get annoyed when he didn’t end his joke, and she was a bit concerned at how uncomfortable he looked.

However, as [name] went through her photos, she noticed none of them had Jongdae in it. All the photos they’d taken together, were just of her. “W-what…?”

Next, she went to her contacts, but Jongdae’s number was missing, and there was no evidence of their text messages, nor calls. [Name] felt her world begin to slow down, and her heart race pick up. Her breathing came out in deep, shallow breaths and she began to feel sick.

“A-are you s…sure? You’ve…you’ve never s-seen me b-b-before?” she asked, looking up at Jongdae with tears in her eyes.

Jongdae frowned and shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I’m sorry. But I’m sure you’re a lovely girl–”

“What about this?!” she suddenly yelled, causing attention to be drawn to her. “What about my outfit?! You bought it for me!”

Jongdae hesitantly shook his head.

“W-we went out yesterday! You came to visit me!”

“I’m sorry–”

“J-Jongdae, we’ve been dating for the past five months!”

“No…” Jongdae quietly whispered, as if afraid to scare the girl before him.

[Name] abruptly stood up, causing the chair she was sitting on to fall to the floor. Her breaths got quicker, and she felt like she would faint. She looked everywhere in the room except Jongdae. How could he not recognise her?! And why was all their photos and text messages gone?! What was going on?!

“I-I-I…” [name] suddenly ran off the platform and out of the venue. Was this the surprise he was talking about? Was he pretending not to know her?!

Too busy thinking of Jongdae, [name] didn’t bother to check the road as she ran onto it, and she failed to notice the van coming straight her way.

Security guards ran out after her, but stopped short once they noticed her body lying on the ground in front of a black van, blood oozing out of her head.

-

“We are gathered here today, to mourn the death of Jung [name], but also to rejoice in the life she lived.”

Jongdae kept his head down, and he squeezed Junmyeon’s arm.

The past month had been crazy for him, ever since he found about Jung [name], the girl who thought they were dating.

When Jung [name] first started receiving her medication from her doctor to aid her depression, she not only got a little happier, but she also began hallucinating.

As said by many friends and relatives, [name] had been a hardcore exo fan, and her favourite member had always been Kim Jongdae.

By the time [name] started receiving medication, it was too late. She was in too far deep to be recovered, and while the medication only eased her pain a little, it did more harm than good. [Name] had begun hallucinating Jongdae to the point where she believed she was dating him. Many witnesses had said that they’d seen her walking alone, acting like she was with someone and ordering drinks and meals for two, when it had only been her.

Jongdae was shocked when he found out. [Name] had run out onto a busy main road and gotten herself killed because she believed Jongdae had broken up with her. Her diary was filled with him, about their experiences and adventures together. Without knowing it, he’d been a part of this girl’s life for the months leading up to her death.  

Jongdae looked up to the sky, as clouds moved with the wind, and shot a small smile up. He’d felt sorry for [name], they all had once they found out what she’d been going though. But despite this, he couldn’t help but feel something for her. Of course, not as much as she felt for him, but enough to want to meet her again.

One day, Jung [name]. One day we’ll meet again, and maybe, I’ll ask you out. For real.

[iwaoiyoonminphan]

JJP Fic Rec

hi! i love jaebum, jinyoung, and most importantly jjp so here’s a fic rec for the ship of the life 

this is hardly a fraction of the quality jjp on ao3, but these are honestly my favourites and the ones i recommend the most! enjoy and join me in jjp hell

sfw (no smut)

1. (why dont you) speak it out loud  by sevencm 

complete/ post college au/ fluff/ 9k

“Imagine that A and B are dating, but person B doesn't voice their feelings much. One day person B is cursed/drinks a truth serum and has to say everything they think about out loud. Person B starts saying 'I love you' and other super cheesy shit to person A every five minutes. Person A enjoys it very much.” 

thoughts: actually the cutest fic to ever exist! the characterization in this fic is so good and i reread it all the time^^

2. Falsettos, Stains, and Drama   by jaenly 

complete/ high school au/ fluff/ 9k 

“It all starts when Jinyoung becomes Juliet Capulet.”

thoughts: ok so like jjp are both in drama club and they end up as romeo and Juliet. actually the cutest ever jaebum was so shy n bashful ///////// n jinyoung was dense as fuck, the ending made me smile so much!    

3. look at me for a sec (don’t be too awkward) by turbrolence(shortiest) 

complete/ hogwarts au/ fluff/ 10k 

“in which a bludger shatters jinyoung's shoulder and jaebum ends up volunteering to feed him breakfast.“

thoughts: so cute!!!!!!!!!! jinyoung is dense as a brick and i loved his interactions with the side characters too, jaebum was s o chivalrous but also dorky and SO ENDEARING this fic makes me want to spontaneously combust honestly 

4. Of douchebags and pretty boys  by schoetheisrealaf 

complete/ asshole au sorta/ fluff and humour/ 7k 

“’Dear Dog Biscuit, Since you seem unable to understand the sign that clearly indicates that this parking space is to be exclusively used by the staff of this facility, I’ll kindly explain it to you again: Until you’re an employee of the state who works his ass off for society only to get shit wages and the worst working hours you CAN’T USE THIS PARKING LOT, SO FUCK OFF! Apart from that, have a nice day. PS.: I hope you don’t have sex for a year. :)’

OR

You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you're hot AU Starring Jinyoung the kindergarten teacher and Jaebum the (arrogant yet dorky) business man“ 

thoughts: ok ok so this is so funny n also soft? jinyoung and kids makes me really happy and why is jaebum like this??? hilarious and also so cute rereading this is always fun! 

 5. opportunity cost  by symmetrophic 

 complete/ corporate au/ fluff and humour/ 4k 

“kim yugyeom, 25, is PA to park jinyoung, 29, feared ceo of park powers (this sounds marginally less ridiculous in korean). a lot more intellectually insulting and ghei than it sounds.”

thoughts: this fic is kind of yugyeom centric but its so funny and cute i just couldnt resist ukno!! jinyoung depends on yugyeom so much its cute and also jinyoung screaming over jaebum? the BEST 

6. Always By My Side by bb_bambam 

complete/ soulmates au/ fluff and angst/ 21k 

“Soulmates!AU where after you meet your soulmate, you experience physical pain when you’re apart for more than 12 hours until you both acknowledge that you’re soulmates.Essentially, it takes Jinyoung and Jaebum way longer than it should have to figure out that they’re soulmates.“

thoughts: the softest soulmate au ever! i especially loved how it was set in canonverse bc the emotions were so real n pure! the au setting was very clear and jaebum made me ssso sad 

7. Your Smile Is Sweeter Than (Hot) Chocolate  by bb_bambam 

complete/ coffee shop au/ fluff/ 12k 

“Jaebum brings Youngjae to a coffee shop for some hot chocolate, and they end up getting Jinyoung instead.Basically, the jjp coffeeshop/kidfic mashup au no one asked for.“ 

thoughts: another one from the goddess herself! jinyoung is the best barista and single dad jaebum is so sweet n whipped i loved it so much its just tooth rotting fluff tbh and kid! youngjae im really about to SCRE AM 

8. Topaz by setaxis 

complete/ idol verse/ angst/ 6k 

“Mark loves much the way he does everything else, quietly, unthinkingly. He doesn't know when he fell in love with Jackson. He doesn't think it matters much.

xxx

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” 

thoughts: ok this is the only main markson side jjp but i included it in this list bc jjp is pretty important here too and the angst hurts so much jaebum is so stupid and jinyoung hurts prepare to cry 

nsfw (w/ smut)

1. Disappear Here by foxxing(gayfantasticfour) 

complete/ detective au/ angst and mystery/ 70k 

“Homicide detective Im Jaebum's career has been steady and his personal life mostly uneventful, until the morning officer Choi Youngjae wakes him up at 3am and he finds out his childhood best friend and ex-partner has been murdered. He takes the case only to watch everything he's ever known slip through his fingers like sand and to finally figure out that sometimes life is all about finding forgiveness.” 

thoughts: this one was an emotional roller coaster! the plot was really intriguing and i cried so hard at the end. the writing was amazing too, as expected of the queen of jjp fanfiction 

2. read you like a magazine by dollyeo 

complete/ college au/ enemies to friends to lovers (!!)/ 42k 

“Ever since Jaebum passed auditions and he didn't, Jinyoung's been hell-bent on hating the guy. Now that they're in uni together, it's like destiny is screwing up all of his plans.”

thoughts: theres no actual smut in this but theres other nsfw-ish content so read at your own risk! this fic has the perfect amount of angst and fluff and ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS AAAAAAA jinyoungs character development was super fascinating n jaebum was so whipped in this i love him 

3. Citation by KingJackson 

complete/ college au/ enemies to lovers/ 115k 

“When the one book he needs for an important term paper has to remain in the campus library, Jinyoung catches the eye of Jaebum, a library assistant.”

thoughts: a fandom classic honestly! jinyoung is such a bitch but soft perfect jaebum loves him anyway its so angsty but also the best gghhhhhh check out the sequel renewal its also SO GOOD 

4. A Certain Romance by foxxing(gayfantasticfour) 

complete/ escort au?/ fluff/ 17k 

“By day, he's a top-rated babysitter. By weekends he's an x-rated escort. These things are generally kept separate, until the day his weekend regular gets his phone number by recommendation and calls for an emergency babysitter. The problem is that Jaebum doesn't know that Junior the escort is also Jinyoung the babysitter.In which Jaebum and Jinyoung know each other in the biblical sense but maybe want to get to know each other, too.“ 

thoughts: also by the queen! jinyoung with kids is the bane of my existence tbh and kid! yugyeom gives me so much feelings bOI jaebum is kind of awkward in this but jinyoung still likes him hehehe i loved this SO MUCH 

5. Compass Calling by sugarbowl 

ongoing/ pirate au/ action and angst and fluff/ 65k rn 

“Prince Jinyoung is destined for a lifetime of luxury, until he's shoved in a trunk and accidentally abducted. Im Jaebum clawed his way out of poverty to captain a pirate ship and... not much else, actually. Jinyoung could be his first real treasure, if Jaebum could just figure out how holding someone for ransom actually works.“

thoughts: cant believe this is the only fic on this list by god (actually just read sugarbowl’s entire ao3) this fic is so beautiful jaebum is kind of dorky and also really cool this fic had me at the edge of my seat all the time AMAZING 

6. The Tiger & The Duke by foxxing(gayfantasticfour) 

ongoing/ sugar daddy au/ angst/ 160k rn 

“Im Jaebum is the richest man in the country under forty, content to mess around and skirt the headlines as a cutthroat businessman and casual playboy. Park Jinyoung is a graduated English Literature major, content with (in Jackson's words) his boring life working at a restaurant and writing poetry. When their worlds collide over a spilled cup of coffee, Jinyoung learns there's a lot more to life than the secrets of his past and the safety of library books.“

thoughts: another one... but this is so good ok at first i was kinda wary bc the ten year age gap but its not very important in the plot and nothing illegal happens lol jinyoung makes me want to PROTECT and jaebum is trying his best ok hes sO anyway its good and ill cry when it ends 

7. muses by comingbackhometoyou

complete/ star trek au/ enemies to lovers/ 120k

“Your dad gave his life for-”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Jaebum interrupts, voice ringing through the empty bar. “My dad gave his life for Starfleet and died with honors. I’ve heard this story a thousand times before. No offense, but why should it matter to me? Why are you here telling me what I’ve known since I was five years old?”

Jaebum has been running for 16 years when his past finally catches up with him.”

thoughts: this one doesnt have much smut i think just ALMOST smut but anyway i dont even like star trek but this made me so sad jjp love each other so much its beautiful and i love jinyoungs no-nonsense character its so funny and also heart wrenching i dont know this fic just hurts me its wonderful 

i hope you liked my recommendations and enjoyed the fics as much as i did! the jjp fandom is honestly blessed by so many good writers so i hope you find more good work in the tags!! 

[thesecretersecretparadise]

Diary Logs: The Life Of a Jewish Soul Trapped In a Psychiatric Ward (Again) | Part 1

7/11/19

G_d, there are constantly helpful friends/friendly help everywhere that I go, whenever I find myself alone. Hospitals are infiltrated with demonic oppressors/docs that get people that are in pain & suffering to convert @ last min so that less Jews are risen from dead/grave... souls still fill non-Jewish bodies though. These bodies will be the hardest to wake, if they ever wake at all...

_______________________________________________________________________

7/12/19

-Asking G_d about something over and over again won’t change His answer. So stop annoying Him.

-We unconsciously know happiness, we just need to make it conscious.

א. Believe your prayers work. ב. Know G_d works through your prayers. ג. Get results.

_______________________________________________________________________

7.12.19

B...

I’m unfolding the reasons you allowed me torture in here again, slowly but surely. All these other people keep making judgments like they’re G_d or something... I feel so disconnected from you, which I hope is just the natural swing of desolation I am meant to be in after such a highly intense spiritual experience... Every part of me wants to write this all off as cyclical psychosis, but if I do, I’m going to be way too late to be doing what I have to do, in-time for you... and this “psychosis” may never end.

G_d, get me out of here ASAP, and get me out of my parents’ ASAP! They keep holding me down! I NEED to get a move on w/ my life! I have to go HOME...

B, I love how you get my unconscious thoughts before I do. This is the only way you can love me so perfectly, I’m sure. I can’t wait until we meet up & put these lies to rest.

Seriously, though. People need to quit giving a f**k about our/my lives/life. People love to judge so much, & I never got that. FFS, can we all just see the good in people, and address the bad in people in a direct and effective way?

This is why I could never handle fame. Everyone constantly has opinions on how you should live your life. Nothing I’m not used to from my parents, though...

B**, I really, really, really hope you haven’t died, nor found someone else... Or if you did, there should be someone better than you for me out there. But I really don’t see anyone topping how perfect you are for me. And I’m not just saying this of you being attractive & Jewish. I honestly never would’ve given Judaism a thought for conversion if it weren’t for you. You were with me in my life this whole time, I just couldn’t know yet. I really feel like our personalities are literally perfect for each other. You can stay calm & collected in areas I can’t stay calm & collected in, and vice versa.

Mem{ “You know what your path is. So even if it feels ‘psychotic’ to be doing the ‘psychotic’ thing, just follow it, and when the timing is right, the heavens will have finally become a mastered puzzle w/ all the pieces perfectly glued together. You got this. You have faith in me, and I’ll have faith in you. Please don’t ever give up, no matter how hard this is. I believe in you.” }

Our whole lives have been leading up to this. Ain’t NO way we givin’ this s**t up, ever! It’s getting tougher because the end is nearer, more people are finding out, and more are trying to have a chance at this. But none of this is new. We now know the correct ways to fight all these evil inclinations, we just gotta put this stuff into action. Help!!! And let’s get one thing straight: I will never give up on you until you give up on me. Just tell me, man-to-man, so I can get closure & move on w/ my life, k?

Nun{ “B***H! I got one thing right! That’s you! Now stop assuming I’m off w/ other girls bc you don’t hear from me as much, after you complain about not wanting to listen to ‘voices’ anymore. Just stay strong, and these confusing frustrations will go away. In His perfect timing! ;)” }

I love youuu!!! So to finish this convo.. We can get rid of guns & replace them w/ the Torah, no? Kill lies w/ the truth, and smack ‘em w/ The Book as self-defense if they come at us physically? I don’t see anything bad w/ this, as long as all guns are completely non-existent & everyone is on-board w/ the Torah... One day, this shall happen! We pray, G_d!

B{ “Thanks. I love you so much.” }

And as for cops, ******* brings up a good point, unless that’s changed too, & he’s stuck in the past & finally waking up.. Why not just replace the whole police academy w/ a judicial academy? Might be hard, but I think it’s def worth it to get rid of the exploitation of power.

B{ “I don’t even think it’s that hard. You have the best ideas, and people hate them bc they’re so good, and they hate change. But don’t worry, bc Millenials are catching up, & Gen Z is totally behind it all bc they’ve been wanting this change for so long, just like you. Our kids need us. We can’t just give up bc of a big, fat demon we haven’t yet conquered together. Yeshu; wrong; 3 strikes, you’re out.{{ “They all come to us one-by-one for guidance/help in His perfect timing, so you’re doing it right! We just live, let them come, & keep responding w/ the truth until they leave. They may come back for more clarification, & these are the blessings from G_d letting us know that we aren’t f**king up when we think we are.” }} So stay strong, & keep being you!” }

I love how we’re such cheerleaders for each other. I think we make an awesome couple!

B{ “So true, so sane, so- same!” } [;)]

<333 :*** You’re the bestt

B{ “No, u” }

Awh, stop. <3 WE THE BEST WE GON’ DO DIS WOOOTT! <3 :*

[PS. thx for letting me know it’s been you this whole time ;)]

_______________________________________________________________________

The future-- ((LOTS of jobs, and opportunities for soul-enriching career changes that your souls have been starving for this whole time.))

-Get rid of cops. --Replace police academy w/ judicial academy. -->Righteous cops right now -> Righteous judges/Orthodox rabbis -->Law enforcement based on complaints brought to court, with all parties involved -> Court cases w/ judges --Don’t need prideful cowards having power & authority!!

-Get rid of top-down government control. --Let citizens voice what they want at court, & we allow/disallow, based on ethics/morals.

-Jail for occultists until they Teshuvah. --Inmate supervisors must be the most temperant and spiritually woke rabbis with the gift and complete training of/on exorcism.

-Replace guns w/ Truth/Torah.

-Make everything cost less. --Get rid of inflation, & keep prices low. --Make it cheaper to produce/import/export things. -->Get rid of monopolies: Support the companies being shat on and seemingly declining. -->Ask G_d to bless them as well. -->And keep moving from company to company (still fulfilling Abrahamic Covenant!!) until everyone gets rid of their bull about needing to be the best, and one-upping each other with false piety. -->*Gets rid of the ADHD-inducing, highly competitive societies that literally destroy our children that need parental figures who are constantly emotionally & physically present.

-De-pathologize all spiritual experiences. --Prescribe counseling w/ a righteous rabbi on that spiritual level who can understand and give correct wisdom to rout out lies, and cement in truths from G_d.

-To combat mania: Learn something new/Start a new project that you’ve always wanted to, but never had the time for. --GET RID OF ANTIPSYCHOTICS. WE DON’T NEED THEM, THEY ARE WICKED, AND KILL OUR SOULS SLOWLY BUT SURELY. --May need a vacation/long break from normal life/routine to rechannel this energy.

-Get rid of psychiatrists. --DOs w/ specialty in PSY & medical marijuana instead. -->As antipsychotics add more dopamine, so does weed. We seriously don’t need man-made pills. They are wicked. -->True medicine: We just need to get pure extractions from plants that G_d gifted us with, to our lands.

-Get rid of psychiatric wards. --Just need sleep & vent stations w/ specially trained supervisors who can also attend to the affairs of medical marijuana and psychology, and intervene when there are warning signs observed. -->One-on-one, doctor-to-patient. -->*CILII (call it like it is): We are not clients, we are patients that need help getting healed. Coddling us with delusional labels will never help us actually, truly heal.

-Video games = Happy place/Fantasy land. --Prevents antisocial outbursts of mania. --There you go, video game developers ;)

-Make all foods Kosher. --More righteous rabbis needed!!

_______________________________________________________________________

G_d’s Puns--

-What the hell -> What the... ה, אל. -> What the ה... -> What the... discovery!!

-Hey B, you’re not bulls**t, you’re the bull star! I love my bull star ;) <3

-דוד -> dude

-MAGA = Make America Great Again -> מאגא -> --מאג׳א => MAJA = Make America Jewish Again -->F off, you anti-Semites. America was ALWAYS a promised land for the Jews escaping anti-Semitism. And we WILL reverse the Pentagon with a Hexagon. (Will be explained further, later on...)

-Prime Ministry in Israel

_______________________________________________________________________

G_d’s Wisdom--

-You don’t need to change anything about yourself, you just have to love & accept yourself just the way you are. --Then, G_d can help you grow into the person He made you to be. -->So: Be yourself! -->*QUIT TRYNA BE SOME ONE/THING YOU AREN’T. That s**t will make you psychotic af. Especially you, witches. The wicked fall in their own destruction, L.

-Genuine vs. Ungenuine... --Genuine: Always stick by you, support you, and try to help. -->Talking behind back: Exposing lies with truths; NOT gossip. --Ungenuine: Only come by when they sense you’ve caught on to them being ungenuine. -->Talking behind back: Gossip. -->*Gossip = Idly/falsely speaking of something, knowing full-well that’s what you’re doing, which will bite you in the a*s in His perfect timing.

-The Hamsa can be flipped. --Fight evil, & receive blessings. -->The Hamsa is a great way to know whether a soul is teachable, or too prideful for the actual Truth.

_______________________________________________________________________

7/13/19

I’m going to stop asking if you’ve given up on me, if you’ve found someone else, etc. You will never. You’re not someone who’d give up on something G_d worked so hard on your whole life, and neither am I. There are so many jealous fakes right now, but G_d’s secrets, through the Hebrew Aleph-Bet, never lie. People are now trying to confuse our discernment. How ignorant. They’re only now catching onto how we’ve lived our whole lives, and think they have us figured out. [Stupid, so stupid.] They legit have no lives... Humor at annoyance is something new, I guess. I really hope, and I pray right now, that this ride isn’t as f**ked up for you, as it has been for me. <3 you!

~leafy

_______________________________________________________________________

7.13.19

“Hey.”

What’s up?

“I’m just sorry that you have to go through this. I know it’s annoying af, but you gotta get used to it. This is your job now. You live your life, get to know people, and then weed out the bad from the good, and keep killing those lies w/ truths while ridiculing liars. It’s sort of pathetic how much people lie because they’re wrong and you’re right, eh?”

I wish liars would die off... they’re so f**king useless in this world. And they project their lying a*ses onto the most honest ppl... Triple Ls! Lyin’ Low Lives. LOSERS. HAHAH I love us & G_d. WOOT!!! <3 :*

“ily”

This is redemption in full swing, man. We got this!!

_______________________________________________________________________

7/13/19

LMFAO He dun p**sed himself dirty. Blaming me for... ruining your own life and making yourself delusional. Did I not warn you to not provoke me? You get what you deserve. You took advantage of me being nice and continued to slip demonic statements to try to bring me down, which in turn failed & brought you down. F**k off out of my life forever, dumb a*shole. lol. *******, give up if you actually want to be saved. You’re delusional & psychotic. Have a nice life...

I legit did nothing to your a*s. lmfao. You did all of this to your pathetic self. If you actually wanted true pity/love, you wouldn’t be so prideful to try to teach me something about my life as if you know anything like G_d does. The wicked fall in their own destruction. You try to kill me, you end up killing yourself or your own, and G_d won’t kill me since it’s NOT in His master plan. I already warned so many times.

YOUR FAULT, “******* ********.” Completely delusional. LOL. TWO CAN PLAY THE “FAKE LOVE” game, except I’m actually genuine when nice... and just mean when I have to be... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If I’m too nice, and you f**ked up, YOU f**ked up.

_______________________________________________________________________

7.13.19

Oh, so I wasn’t evil for seeing Mary w/ demonic eyes in meditation before, eh? D**n, how does my soul just know these things? I always saw Yeshu w/ evil eyes too. Yeshu’s sullen, Mary’s w/ red eyes. Hahah. I WAS RIGHT. LOL. F my parents. Apparently to Christians, being woke = being possessed. L. HAHAHAHAHA. Y’all the most psychotic bunch, reading “sacrificial lamb” & going, “OOHH, JESUS!” LMFAO. Quit projecting your delusional psychoses on us woke f***s, you b***hf***s...

_______________________________________________________________________

7/14/19

“פ: ily, Leah.”

Love you too, B**! <3 (:*)

_______________________________________________________________________

7.14.19

Someone from the CIA blew whistle on their wicked plan, then became an FBI. CIA stayed, trying to get either Mem or T**** or some other fake f**k possessed by Yeshu announced as “M” by me. FBI kept looking out for me & praying for me. CIA started lying to FBI about me, so war of logic began. -B** almost gave up, but I had all the proofs & legitimacy. Mem & T**** finally gave up, hopefully... Nun kept going back & forth between FBI & CIA to keep tabs on me. -Then, he got super confused with religions, got manic, made himself an idol, went manic again with drunk driving and died, and led me to AA.

TTT -> TT|TT: T**** to Teshuvah ~> no more OT, no more NT, just the Truth in the Torah.

Blue is calm, yellow is happy. Need to go to UCLA. Don’t need maize in my life... lol

_______________________________________________________________________

7/15/19

G_d,

This ‘three strikes, you’re out’ thing... I feel like it was needed this whole time for us to wake up & Teshuvah, but in this time of, I think, redemption? It’s time that people that haven’t caught on by now won’t ever catch on & aren’t teachable. I see that every time I give up on their salvation/conversion/praying for them, they either do an honest Teshuvah or they’re just placating/fakely appeasing me because they know that being nice to me is tied to their eternal life vs. damnation... But You know the secret hearts of all. And You made me perfectly, according to Your perfect will to finally bring fulfillment to the Messianic prophecies. But I’m also in here to be taught the last things I need to be taught before we actually embark on this Journey. Perhaps I’m not ready yet. Perhaps, once I can finally set my boundaries straight, keep them, and not let anyone f**k w/ them, is when I’ll finally be able to be comfortable w/ the ‘three strikes, you’re out’ thing. My Korean name means, ‘the wisdom of Jesus,’ not ‘the mercy of Jesus.’ That f**ker’s mercy is what f**ked everyone up, had them believing it was okay to sin in some ways but not others, and had everyone go psychotic w/ his sensual delusions of spiritual things. He got it completely wrong, and ended up becoming Satanist/Luciferian, starting Satanism/Luciferianism, then lying about f**king everything. He picked his own death, but now, he’s just roaming around and possessing so many... Only You can bring an end to this. So plz do! End him! He’s gross! He raped me enough times & f**ked w/ me enough for You to end him. Please end him, Mary, Baal, and Daniel NOW! Gosh. I’m sick of this fake love & talking about me behind my back. He’s evil. I bet he’s an Egyptian who lied about being Jewish. Not even a Jew, and had to lie to everyone about him being “the one,” just so people could find him credible... just like Mem, and just like T****... TYSM for the gift of my bull star!!!

We are only human, so we will only have human-like reactions to everything going on around us, in conjunction w/ Your will/master plan for us, unlike the prideful-a*s ‘holier-than-thou’ striving-to-be angels f**kers keeping their emotions repressed until they go f**king manic... since that’s not how You created us..

G_d, I love You, & how faithful You are to those that truly do love you.

I guess people don’t truly love You if they can’t humble themselves to a point where they can accept the truth... OK thx G_d, ilysm. ALWAYS be w/ me, no matter how sinful I get!! <3

_______________________________________________________________________

7.15.19

HEY YESHU YOU F**KA*S. You already dun raped me enough. F**K OFF & DIE. F**k this PNES. F**k your nonexistent penis, you intersexed demon.

Animals can’t talk, so they are allowed to fight back physically. -Humans can talk, so we should fight back w/ words, instead of animal-like.

Get rid of IVF. Not G_d’s will. -Adoption is. --If you fear/reject adoption for whatever reason, you don’t deserve/aren’t fit to be “parents” to a child/baby. -->So: Work on yourself. -IVF babies that exist now are obviously G_d’s plan, but seriously- no more. --ex: Me, but I’m cursed. All the time. It took HECKA praying for me to be unbound from this sin of my parents, and takes continuous prayer to ward off evil. NOT a life you want for yourself, nor your kids. Promise. It was only G_d that sustained me because He needs me to do LOTS of work for the salvation of all Jewish souls, but.... the wicked fall in their own destruction, until/unless they Teshuvah.

G_d, GET RID OF THAT DEMON & ITS SPAWNS ON EARTH, ESPECIALLY IN FLORIDA!!! OMFG. He’s making everyone psychotic there... Pwease, G_d!!!

G_d, I thank You so much for using me to show Jews the righteous way of life. Many reject this righteous way of life for some reason. I don’t get it. It’s so perfect & lovely. I just thank You for allowing me to be a beacon of Your true light and perfect love. Thank You for healing us!!! <3

פיליה בן ישראל: Name change after actual, physical, ritualistic conversion?

LOL Christians may shut us up IRL, but we be the only ones speaking the truth online...

_______________________________________________________________________

~~~~WAY more to come later, in His perfect timing!!

[comicteaparty]

March 25th-March 31st, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from March 25th, 2019 to March 31st, 2019.  The chat focused on Tamberlane by Caytlin Vilbrandt.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Tamberlane by Caytlin Vilbrandt~! (https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until March 31st to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Where do you think Tamberlane is from? Is she from Abroad as some characters have suggested? What do you think Tamberlane’s past history is? Last, what do you think will happen when Tamberlane’s origins are uncovered?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yay! Hi all! I can't wait to talk about Tamberlane with you!

I'll add my answers to the discussion when I'm more awake =w=

Delphina

I remember reading the first chapter of Tamberlane once upon a time; so happy to have the opportunity to catch up again and see where it's gone!

I love just about every scene with Oakewood or Piper because they're both hilarious, but this one probably wins for me. He's such a good reverse psychology grandpa. https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-94/

Close second is Piper's brilliant plan because I am also a saleswoman at heart: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-110/

Delphina

All signs definitely point to the idea that Tamberlane is from Abroad, and I'm very curious about what's so scary about it. (My guess is that it's the world of Humans and animal-types get treated like animals there, which would explain their fears). From the conversation with Tagg and Danger, I suspect there's internal conflict in the land of Abroad (a plague? a war?), and Tamberlane was sent out baby-on-the-river-style by a well-meaning mom that wanted her to have a better life. Tamberlane seems to be good at making friends, though, so I think even if they confirm that she's from Abroad, the community will still accept and protect her. It very much feels like "it takes a village to raise a child" is a big central theme in this comic.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oooh, that's an interesting theory!

I definitely wanted to explore It Takes a Village in this story for sure

I didn't grow up in any tight-knit neighborhoods and our distant family was either extra distant or just not close emotionally, so I don't really know what that kind of mentality is like on a personal level. I wanted to see what I could figure out with a story like that. :3

As for MY answers......:3c 1. My favorite scene in the comic so far is probably still this one dang page because it came out exactly like I wanted it to in my head.

2. Obviously I can't comment much on this due to spoilers, but I do think when her origins come to light, people are gonna flip their dang lids. :3

Delphina

I think you did a really good job of conveying a close, loving community! I can tell even between minor characters there's a lot of kindness and support in this setting and it's very refreshing to read!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yaaaay :D

I know for a little bit early on in the writing, I was planning a more contentious environment around Belfry ("what a hassle") but then was like, who wants to read that? Not me. Screw that, lol

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think Follybrook is held in such low disregard? Who exactly are the creatures who occupy Follybrook? Also, what do you make of the rumors that Follybrook residents are disappearing because of something happening Abroad?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Hmmm, my favorite character is hard to choose. I love them all. But right now, I'd say probably Belfry. She tries so hard, and she didn't get a lot of spotlight in Chapter 3, and I really want to do more interaction with her and Tamberlane in Chapter 4.

As for Follybrook... :3

varethane

I like Briar! Something about her combination of moodiness and compassion just gets me, haha

Delphina

Briar is an MVP for sure

varethane

Oakewood and Piper are second (I'm really enjoying watching Oakewood pretend he doesn't actually CARE about Tamberlane, he's just studying! It's not parenting, nope)

(Piper because she is a hilarious troll)

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Briar has a special place in my heart for sure! She's me when I was 13, lmao. Though, a little more confrontational than I was XD

varethane

I dunno about Follybrook, though I get the impression it's closer to Abroad than Treehollow is? Which I guess might be why it's being affected first by whatever's happening out there.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

You are correct! Follybrook is on the "border" of Abroad. Sort of the last gasp of civilization so to speak.

varethane

(yess)

Nanners

Oh damn, was not expecting lore when I popped into this channel

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Mwahahaha

Delphina

Belfry is definitely a sweetie, but I feel like I need to see her not in crisis and/or mom mode to really connect with who she is and what she's about. I'm looking forward to more stuff with her in Chapter 4 and the scenes with her and Tamberlane are always very sweet, but I'd also like to see more of who she is as an individual when she's not being defined by her relationship to others.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

That is a good thing to note!

varethane

same, re: Belfry

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

-scribbles notes- All I'd heard so far from folks was wanting more scenes with her and Tam, so that's a good thing for me to think about going forward!

Delphina

Oakewood is probably my favorite too because he's clearly got this "big fish in a small pond" sort of wisdom and crusty outside/softie inside personality that's just perfect. I'm looking forward to how Milo's introduction might accent or challenge that.

(Also does Milo have a pet moth because I want 40) https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-125/

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

He totally does

A big ol fluffy moth named Sophie

Delphina

Awwwwww, Sophie looks so soft!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Since he's a cameo, in the reference character that was provided, he actually had a pet spider!

But I decided I did not want to stare at reference photos up close of a spider

So Sophie became a moth XD

Delphina

Oooooh

varethane

oooo

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably the one where tamberlane tries to help the crow guy and the crow guy goes all prejudiced. and then oakewood swoops in and calls her his grandaughter and yells at the guy. i like seeing tamberlane still trying to be helpful, but i also like oakewood way more clearly defining their relationship cause that opens up a whole new can of worms and kind of adds some vulnerability to him. also, has a great ending where milo comments on this and oakewood tells him to shut up XD https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-140/ 2) i think Abroad has been mentioned way too much for Tamberlane to not be from aborad. This is not to mention a) they don't know what a human is and b) they seem relatively unfamiliar whats going on in Aborad land. So i mean, all the clues only point to one place. unlike @Delphina , im actually assuming a darker route. cause tamberlane seems kind of neglected so im not sure this is a situation of well meaning mom. more like mom who might of tried and gave up. im also less optimistic about ppl saying its fine tamberlane is from abroad. cause there seems to be a lot of built up prejudice there and man, idk. prejudice is hard to just flip at the turn of a hat.

Delphina

But yeah, if Follybrook is super-close to Abroad, then that sorta explains why the villagers treat them as social pariahs more than "those kids with their piercings and bad attitudes who are only let in once a year". The big drama in which Tess revealed that if Belfry went there for even a GOOD reason like trying to care for Tamberlane, she'd be full-out exiled was pretty shocking. Because yeah, if Abroad was simply dangerous and full of monsters, I can't imagine why it would be wrong or bad to come back; the big fear would be that you WOULDN'T come back. It seems like Abroad almost has a demonic/evil status in their minds and that they believe (rightly or wrongly) ANY contact would fundamentally change a person or attract something bad. I just struggle with the fact that if Abroad has so much mindshare in the fabric of their society, and if Tamberlane (and maybe all humans) are from there, absolutely nobody what a human looks like or have any stories that might help them identify Tamberlane as one? If there was something big and scary that I was to stay away from at all costs, I'd want to know what it looked like.

RebelVampire

3) my favorite character is definitely oakewood bar none. i am a sucker for grumpy guys. but i especially like oakewood cause hes not the stereotypical grumpy guy. cause usually old grump guys are the most prejudiced. but in this case oakewood is actually the more forward thinking of the bunch. when everyone else was telling belfry to just abandon tamberlane hes just like "nah come live with me." and then tolerates her clumsiness and all that jazz. its great contrast that plays on expectations and i love it. 4) I assume the creature occupying follybrook are just regular creatures. but ya know, prejudice and all that. which i think the comic does a good job of showing through example how prejudice works. all the characters weve known seem to have this fear and sort of "they're different think" about them. so as a reader you cant help but think "oh they must be different" even tho that might not necessarily be the case. As for the rumors, I assume theyre based on truth. Maybe some secret slave ring or something. Though not sure what it has to do with what might be going on in abroad.

yeah you make a good point @Delphina . for a place they seem to hate so much its just flat out exile, they dont seem to know much about it. or at least anything that theyre willing to talk about yet. which its strange even follybook folks who are closer are just kind of vague about what they know of abroad

Nanners

Hey @Caytlin (Tamberlane) , you mentioned that you spent a lot of time making the bartering system. Tell us about it!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

I can say, at least, that a lot of these topics will be broached in Chapter 4! :3 I can't wait to see reactions, haha

AS FOR BARTER! Oh god the barter system. I read some novels, did some research on different kinds of monetary systems. The world of Tamberlane is sort of a socialist utopia where folks' basic needs are taken care of and the town bands together to care for each other. You do work for the town, the town does work for you. So there's not a lot of, like, "how much does this cost" so much as "what of my work can I trade you"

Which! Let me just say, I have a HELL of a time trying to write and get that across

If I did it over, they'd just have a dang money system lmao

Nanners

I dunno, it makes sense that a small town would work on a trade and favor system. I live in a tiny neighborhood in the country, and things tend to work like that

A side quest economy, essentially

TimmoWarner

This isn't story related (or only tangentally), but I love seeing the groups of pallette changes when you look at all the pages in a grid on the archive.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh yeah it totally makes sense! It's a good story decision! It's just difficult to get across narratively and causes more confusion than it helps when it comes to telling a story

Also :'D Thanks Timmo!! I really enjoy having different palettes for different scenes!

Folks are just more used to parsing "I bet you five bucks" rather than "I bet you six months of library research"

Nanners

I bet you 15 pounds of pickled beets

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

It's much easier when you have a good like that, yeah! Trying to figure out what Oakewood would offer was tough XD

Nanners

Does scowling count as a good or service?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

It's like a kissing booth!

But it's a scowling booth

2 pence per scowl

TimmoWarner

Oakewood offers access to the "good" books in the back room.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

"Y'like that, do ya? Yeah?" "Oakewood... this is a book about gardening" "THE BEST BOOK ABOUT GARDENING, THANK YOU"

TimmoWarner

Exactly.

Nanners

Is it cannon that Oakewood's a good DM?

Delphina

I would totally play DND with Oakewood

He would totally murder the party though

Nanners

What class would everyone be?

Milo as a wizard, obviously

Henry as a paladin

Belfry cleric?

Delphina

(Except she keeps rolling critical fails?)

Nanners

Constantly rolls low on cure wounds

Delphina

-7 Dexterity

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh oh I was thinking about this recently lol!

Tess is a Barb for sure

Belfry might be a wild magic sorcerer lmao

I totally can see Oake as the DM though yeah LOL

Delphina

Oake would be constantly complaining about all the weird stuff the players do.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

"Rrrrr, another five minute break, I DIDN'T PLAN FOR THIS."

TimmoWarner

So... the climax is the coyote character was right all along?

I thought... we'd fight a monster or something.

"Why would you want to fight a monster?!"

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

LOL

"The real monster was your stubborn refusal to accept the truth all along"

TimmoWarner

Haha

(Though I suspect Oakewood actually likes swashbuckling stories.)

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

He does; he also likes romance

He's a cranky old softy

TimmoWarner

I think I knew about the romance.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yeah, that was one of the first character Q&A comics

Delphina

I can definitely see him taking a stance of fictional relationships being so much better than real ones because when you're done with them you can put them on the shelf.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Lol! Omg so true

darch

It's late, but I just found out about this, so some thoughts until I get to be around when other people get to be around.

(1) My favorite page is definitely page 81. Because (a) the punch line is fantastic, (b) it lands right in the middle of a really emotional scene without undercutting the emotion even a bit, and (c) it is the most perfect summation of the Belfry Existential Dilemma, which is made up of two parts: (i) you can't mess this up and (ii) you are going to mess this up. Magnificent.

(2) Tamberlane is from the future. Obviously.

(3) With apologies to all of the well-realized and multi-faceted characters at play in this story, Sophie is and shall always be my one true love because SHE IS SO FLUFFY AND I LOVE HER. My opinion is extremely biased; Milo is my cameo (though not my Cameo cameo, that would be weird) and worth it just for the fluffbug sidekick.

darch

Milo was original a My Little Pony character of mine, and I continue to think that having a spider sidekick is great. For a look at Midnight Sun and Sophie before they were translated to the Tamberverse, have a look at [cw and spoiler because spider]

SPOILER

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ff7o7k5jda5pfgo/midnight-sun-the-adventurer.png?raw=1 (that art also by Caytlin).

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you believe happened to Belfry’s biological parents? How might Belfry’s abandonment issues regarding them play a role in how she raises Tamberlane (both positively and negatively)?

RebelVampire

5) okay. ill fully admit this is not the most epic illustration i could pick, but i really love this full body of tamberlane on this page https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-100/ tamberlane was always cute, but this is the one where my heart was stolen. like everything about her look is precious and makes you want to snuggle and protect her till the end of days. and i also like how contrasting it is to how she was before, so even without words you can tell time has passed and growth has occured and i really like. 6) Honestly, I think theyre imprisoned some how. But tbf i ironically want them to be alive and fine and showcase its the fact they were auto exiled thats the problem. And that they couldve been with belfry at any time but nope, rules and prejudice and such. but thats just my headcanon. I'm more interested in how itll affect how belfry raises tamberlane, and in a lot of senses i think its going to be a negative impact. like i feel belfry is kind of obsessed with making sure tamberlane feels loved and accepted. and while on the surface that sounds great, what happens if she has to punish tamberlane severely? is she going to panic tamberlane not feel loved and not do it? is it going to be lighter than it should? belfry already showed when she took in tamberlane that shes hyper conscious about her abandonment, and i dont think tamberlane alone is gonna make that hyperconsciousness about it go away. but on the otherhand, maybe by association others will confront belfry and make her talk about her feelings.

lonelytuatara

to reiterate what i said in the general webcomic chat: i only just started reading and the art is soo pretty!!

lonelytuatara

continuing to read: belfry pulling the pie out of the oven without mitts..... child.........

darch

She is a problem.

lonelytuatara

:O the "ghost"!!!!

lonelytuatara

"congratulations, it's a swamp monster" made me chuckle

lonelytuatara

got to page 100! tamberlane's lil pigtails are adorable

lonelytuatara

all the way caught up now! i really liked the comic and i'm excited to continue following it!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Aaaa yay :'D I'm glad you're enjoying it!!!

lonelytuatara

i'm gonna let it sink in for a bit before i go to answer the book club questions, but overall I found it a enjoyable mix of comforting and intriguing! im always glad to find stories where trans and nonbinary characters are treated as just a normal part of society

darch

There are many things to like about Tamberlane. The gorgeous art and casual representation are high on that list for me.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

./)//w//(\

I will get around to answering the latest q's in a bit. I'm pretty wiped out today =w=;;; but! I am super happy people are enjoying the comic and convo :'D

Rebel, you made a great point about how Belfry obsesses over Tamberlane. I love it.

anonus

Hi

Tamberlane is a beautiful comic

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Thank you! :D

kayotics

so, i just started, like... 10 minutes ago so I'm not very far, but the art is extremely cute and i love the expressions and colors. Really great shapes on all the characters. the main strokes of each character's personality is painted straight away in a really strong way, too

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh my gosh, thank you >u<;;; I'm so glad

anonus

@Caytlin (Tamberlane) so, um, how did you come up with the idea for Tamberlane?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

So! I had spent a couple of years trying to write a comic and was just writing myself in circles and running into walls. Finally I got really fed up with not having a project so I said, FINE, next story idea to come into my head, I'M JUST GONNA DO IT. And then during D&D the next week I was doodling creatures and I drew Belfry and Oakewood and was like Ooo I like them. Then I drew Tamberlane's previous form, a little dragon, and was like oh hey they're taking care of an unknown creature, that's fun! And then I was like, actually a little dragon is not weird enough to set her apart from a buncha animals ... Oh hey what about if she's human?? And within a month I had started the comic haha

I wanted to challenge myself to do a project where I allowed myself to make mistakes and not be perfect and not worldbuild myself into a pit

varethane

I think that's pretty important, is the willingness to be flexible and play around

with longform webcomics, when it takes so long to make something, and you're working on the same story for years..... people grow as creators, and as people, and develop different tastes and learn things..... and it'd be a shame to not be able to express that if you're stuck to the same script you wrote 5 years ago, lol

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Exactly!! When you think about like every longform webcomic taking like at least 5 years ... there's not a lot of years where you can be creating compared to the number of stories in your head.

And I really just wanted to make something and get my hands dirty. So it's been a really interesting experience, half following a plan and half throwing it out the window lol!

varethane

for what it's worth, from a reader's perspective, it flows very nicely

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Thank goodness, haha! I always worry. XD

anonus

yeah it definitely flows nicely

also I've never played D&D

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

D&D is a lot of fun with the right group! And endlessly frustrating with the wrong one. XD But if you end up having a group of friends online or off, it's totally worth trying it out!

anonus

I do have lots of online friends! Don't get out enough offline at the moment though

also what inspired you to become an artist

stubat

Hi, all! just spotted the invite. Busy bat. Love Tamberlane!

I'll try to catch up with you all tomorrow evening, if I get a chance. Midnite now, kinda slow and I've got work in the morning. Belfry forever!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What has been your favorite moment in regards to how Tamberlane has been accepted or not accepted in Treehollow? What about it made the moment emotionally compelling and what should we take away from it in regards to discrimination and acceptance?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Heeeey Stubat! <3

5. My favorite illustrations seem to be a rotating toss up of Belfry & Tam in the sunrise, Oakewood walking along the docks with Piper/Anthony/Tamberlane at sunrise, and the full shot of the Library at night(edited)

6. :3c(edited)

7. I really enjoy writing Briar and Belfry interacting. Small factoid that I don't think will ever be revealed in the story: the bulky blue and white scarf she's been wearing this chapter is one Belfry knitted for her (poorly). It's knotty and has a lot of gaps, but it was a work of love, and Briar wore it because 1) she loves it and she loves Belfry no matter what, and 2) sort of as a good luck token for Tess and Bel to make up.

Oh super belatedly, another thing about Follybrook: I LOVED that a lot of readers jumped to the conclusion that they were Othered because they were punky/bad tempered/non-binary. And then I loved watching them come to the realization that there were a lot of characters in Treehollow that fit those descriptions so it had to be something else. I think someone specifically called it out as an allegory for trans people, and then a couple readers mentioned Marie and they were like ... oh huh, hm.

I like making people think lol!

8. Hmm, I think I like the interaction with Leon, the grumpy crow. It was a scene that was written late in the game (like, during the scene before lol!) and I put up an auction for Leon's cameo slot. I really enjoyed being able to pack in a lot of underlying meaning to the interaction, and remind readers that Tamberlane's transition to creature society is not as smooth or effortless as it's seemed.

Plus, yeah, deciding on a whim to have Oakewood call her his granddaughter and out himself and his feelings was fun :3

Delphina

There are SO MANY cute/loving character interactions, but I think when Briar is relaying her mom's message to Belfry really stood out to me because of how much she clearly cares and how torn she is in the middle of their conflict.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Which of the parents did you connect with the most in regards to how they parent their child(ren)? What do you think we can learn about life in regards to the various parent/child dynamics work and growing up?

RebelVampire

7) Probably Piper and Tamberlane. Unlike all the other relationships where its either warm fuzzies or kind of understandable anger and drama, theirs is the relationship i think is built entirely upon misunderstandings and kids being kids. Cause at the end of the day, Piper is still a kid so i have some forgiveness in her initial treatment of tamberlane. because honestly she probably just doesnt fully grasp yet the consequences of her actions. but its interesting to see how their relationship has been one of tension where youre really not sure if the trauma can be overcome or not. so that makes it really interesting. 8) I liked that small moment when Walter kind of took Tamberlane away from the fighting. Cause holy crap was that a significant change going from "your mistake" to here let me protect this little one. it was such a small thing but it really demonstrated the time passage and also kind of reflected that sometimes non acceptance is less about hatred, more about unfamiliarity. not to say he might not think shes a mistake, but that still was a lot warmer of an interaction than i expected and showed he cared. https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-132/

9) I love a lot of the little visual details on Tess. Like the scars, the bit that's taken out of her ear. It really shows off her past. And its just one of those super good character details a lot of people dont utilize and adds so much character to the character. <3 10) I actually connected with Avery the most, but this is in large because i was raised by a single mother. And to me i think Avery really captured that balance of needing to work, trying to be there for your kid, while also not really able to be there all the time cause of the work issue. So while Piper may not be the best behaved of the children, it's totally understandable given the circumstances and i give props to avery seeming to make it work regardless. overall, though, i think what we can learn about the various parent and child dynamics is that 1) parents are winging it and 2) while parents are a big influence, theres a point you have to divorce yourself from them and make your own choices in life.

snuffysam

aaah i finally caught up and this comic is so good! it's kind of late where i am rn, so I'm just gonna cut right to the chase and say - oakewood is my favorite character, hands down. i couldn't tell you why, but I'm just a sucker for the gruff, older guy with a heart of gold

TimmoWarner

Everyone loves Oakewood.

He'd be the best character if not for Marie.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

I definitely took a lot of inspiration for Oakewood from the cranky old guy in Wolf Children lol! That's his voice in my head too (the dub version)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Which aspect of the comic’s world caught your attention the most? Alternatively, what world aspect are you hoping to see explored more? What culture detail do you think is the most significant when it comes to the story?

snuffysam

I think the strongest aspect of the comic is its theming. Just the overarching theme of parenthood, and how the best of intentions don't always work out the way you planned. You can see that theme everywhere in the story (from big things like Belfy & Tess's fight to smaller things like Belfy's clumsiness), and it all fits togeter SO well.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you believe Belfry might have to go Abroad for Tamberlane as Tess ominously worries about? Why do you believe creatures who go Abroad get banned? How might what goes on in Abroad affect their lives regardless?

RebelVampire

11) I feel the comic's strength is showing relationships and having that be a major drive of the story. Like there's no shortage of parenting styles, friendships, or anything else. And everything is about how the characters work off one another. And no character is really all black and white either. they just all have different views and different ways of handling things. so i think that makes all the character interactions interesting since you never know quite what youre gonna get ever instance. 12) The aspect that caught my eye the most was the presence of another spoken language. I hope it's explored more where that comes from and such, cause its a really interesting facet given everyone else is otherwise speaking the same language. the other detail im really interested in seeing explore is how the world is set up. like we know there are sailors who go around and explore but avoid aborad, so im curious what their known world is like in its totality. 13) I'm looking forward to seeing Belfry grow more and come more into her own. Atm, I kind of feel shes still just a kid trying to figure stuff out, so itll be interesting to see how tamberlane changes and effects her maturity levels. 14) Yes. Aborad feels like it's brought up too many times for belfry to not have to go. But I feel going will be a good thing cause it will kind of force the world to maybe stop ignoring abroad and accept that its part of the world too, whether they want it to be part of it or not.

varethane

I wanna find out what Tamberlane's deal is!

And also what's going on in Abroad, there've been hints about it being a strange and dangerous place and I am excited to find out what it's actually like.

lonelytuatara

I wonder if Abroad is like..... a portal to the regular human world or something!

or if it's still in the same world but with more humans

varethane

That's kinda my theory

The fact that they're SO nervous about it makes me wonder if it is closer to the portal thing

Would make it feel more alien to them

lonelytuatara

yea!!

like it seems like even GOING close to it is seen as dangerous, not just entering the actual place

ohh also speaking of different locations: follybrook! my theory on it, based on the way that characters interacted w folks from follybrook, is that body modifications like piercing and docking (and maybe even gender-related body mods) are a cultural taboo in Silver Sage

so anyone from silver sage who Wants to do those things has to move to follybrook, and the creatures of follybrook have just as much disdain for the ol' fuddyduddies who refuse to let people do what they want with their bodies as the creatures of silver sage have for them

also it seems like metal is Important to silver sage's culture in some specific way, like it has spiritual significance

altho i could just have misread

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Tamberlane this week! Please also give a special thank you to Caytlin Vilbrandt for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Tamberlane, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tamberlane

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Ko-Fi: https://www.ko-fi.com/pixelprism

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Paypal.me: https://www.paypal.me/pixelprism

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Shop: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/shop/

Tamberlane’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/tamberlanecomic

[vegils]

im... a sucker 4 surveys hey!!!

1: What is your name and does it mean anything?

marinella, someone told me it means “traveller” but i highly doubt that i like the break down of my name more marina, meaning “of the sea” and ella for “guiding light”

2: How long have you known your best friend? 

my best friend sweetlana!!! been my good friend!!! for 7 DANG YEARS!!! 

3: What position do you normally sleep in? 

i sleep in fetal/yearning position and i think the description of the personalities that sleep in fetal/yearning position is very accurate

4: Were you a part of any “clique” in high school?

mmm i hung out with a lot of different people in high school i went through several cliques in the span of my four years i hung out with “popular” people, artsy groups, anime nerds, and drama people

5: Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why? 

my biggest inspiration was my speech and drama teacher!! i love u miss macuha!!! one time i was crying about her leaving and she grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to never back down and keep doing what i’m doing and that some day i’ll be a great performer and i bawled on her lap she’s an angel and to this day her words still haunt me!! i never felt the reward a teacher reaped from seeing a student reach their full potential

6: Do you wish to travel a lot?

because im so young i do think about travelling a lot but it makes me sad to think about never being able to travel and i have gone to places but i wish i could see other grander countries i never had the opportunity to see

7: Did you participate in any sports while in school?

um...... i played badminton lmao 

8: Show a sample of your handwriting:

how tho

9: Have you ever given blood?

apparently if ur anemic or have history of anemia then u can’t donate blood which makes me sad if i could i would!!!

10: Do you like the way that you grew up?

besides all the fun i had i wish i grew up more confident i am a very doubtful person and i grew up in a pretty hostile home and it felt very scattered and broken to me and i just wish those situations were different, other than that i think i am lucky to grow up ok

11: Do you like your siblings? Why or why not?

i like all of my sisters but they can get very frustrating at times i think we stand better now than we did as kids

12: How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends?

i met sweetlana on the strokes tumblr tinychat back when they had a roaring fandom and we discovered that we’re both from chicago and we’d talk about silly things and we lost touch for a while but then we reconnected and she’s so darling!!! she would show me her paintings of the blues brothers and we’d talk about our hopes and wishes and now i realize we’ve been doing that for 7 years!!! all we do is exchange selfies and drawings and fantasize about crushes !!!i love her! i can’t imagine not knowing her and never meeting her!

13: Name one movie that made you cry.

my girl.......... shit dude

14: Do you prefer to read poetry, write poetry, or neither?

i’m not poetic but i like to HEAR poetry i love hearing the delivery 

15: Things about someone that you find attractive?

i love people who are kind and thoughtful which is rly generic i also love the funny it doesn’t even have to be calculated jokes it can just be the way you said something or a facial expression i like people who manage to share a language with me that can’t be figured out by other people i think having a connection to a person where you can read each others minds can b creepy but also cool cuz u hang out w them so often that you can basically understand each other without much effort 

16: What song are you currently listening to now?

year of the rabbit by eskimeaux

17: Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how?

nope 

18: A random memory from you childhood:

going to chinatown and racing to the chinese zodiac signs and climbing up the stairs with my sisters, getting sponge cake and walking around the old sanrio store pointing out what i want

19: Where did you grow up? chicago 

20: What was the last thing you watched on tv?

lmao we’re watching 13RW and its not for everyone but i read the book and im v invested

21: Do you think you’d make a good parent?

really!! hope id be! i mean i am cool with or without having kids but i want to be a good parent

22: Would you like to meet any of your Tumblr friends in person?

i already met some of my tumblr friends!! i met sweetlana and coney!!! i would like to meet @iamonmy-way when will i meet u!!! 

22: What was the last dream you remember having?

my phone was hacked and it looked like internet explorer on my iphone and my cousin tried to retrieve back to normal by playing against my hacker on a boss battle level of mario

23: When is your birthday?

june 2 :---)

24: How many pillows do you sleep with? 

2 and 1 reading pillow ^_^

25: Do you wear glasses? If so, how long have you been wearing glasses?

i’ve been wearing eye glasses since i was 6 and i’m 21 now so u do the math bud

26: What color is your hair?

black/brown

27: Name 5 facts about your appearance:

ive been told i have a nice complexion, small mouth, chubby cheeks, small hands and long torso

28: What is your favorite soda?

cream.. soda... i need to go to Hell

29: What is a strange talent that you have?

reading peoples moods online lmao 

30: How’s the weather right now?

a cool and calming evening 

31: Why did one of your friendships end?

this question makes me sad lmao

32: Who do you miss right now?

oops i can’t reveal who or what or when but i am missing someone

33: Why did your last relationship end?

because i realized i don’t like them that much and that i don’t understand dating I AM A VERY CONFUSED PERSON when i reflect on dating i realize i hate it so much but also crave it but when i have it i’m very repulsed

34: Are you still figuring out who you are? 

yes!!! i am frustrated at myself because i don’t know who i am or what i want and i feel like it has set me back so much that i’m stagnant 

35: Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Why? 

ya i had dengue fever and it was probably the most concerned i’ve seen my parents with me

36: What is your favorite restaurant?

pastaria!!! in st louis!! it’s so good!

37: What is word that you always seem to spell wrong?

privilege 

38: Would ever adopt kids?

not against the idea of adopting children!!! 

39: What is your favorite kind of pizza?

i like spinach on my pizza

40: What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why is it so dreadful to find yourself in bed with a whole day ahead of you

41: When was the last time you got really really happy and why? 

um!!! my crush!!! k*rt !!! when we played the game!! and they were teasing and attacking me during the game! ah!!! 

42: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

defo dinuguan (pigs blood stew)!! i dont recommend!! i just dip my puto in the sauce and call it a day! not a laman fan! 

43: How do you start a conversation?

i tell them something embarrassing that’s also relateable and revealing and hope they find me somebody to be comfortable around!!!

44: What’s a band you’ve been obsessed with lately?

i hate answering this....... but joji........

45: Do you come from a family “of money?”

nah dude

46: Do you have a bucket list?

i think that’s what my life was missing tbh

47: What is your favorite series of books?

i don’t know i haven’t read a series of books in quite a long time i think i pretended to like percy jackson in high school lmao and i was such a nerd for hunger games but i don’t think anything could replace my deepest love for series of unfortunate events, the boxcar children, judy moody, and horrible harry! ooh! and amelia bedelia!!!

48: When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt?

i laughed rly hard last night cause patrick was so invested in 13 reasons why and my sister n i kept asking 4 justice 4 zach dempsey and patrick threw a pillow at me for saying that what zach did was severe in hannah’s eyes

49: Where do you go when you’re sad?

i slip into bed and silently cry or if i don’t need that i cry in the shower ahhh how pathetic

50: 5 random facts about yourself:

i actually am rly good at acting and i don’t think anybody but high school and college ppl know this, i’m painfully shy, i don’t like mayo!! all of my goldfish in the past have all been named variations of “Freddy” and !!! i am rly good at stitch (from disney’s lilo and stitch) impressions

[icanhearyouglaring]

wouldn't it be nice

summary: Valentine’s Day, K-12 (and beyond) edition. wally/artemis

some notes: @eruriku, you’ve been so patient w/ me so I am really happy to be able to post the first part of your @yjficexchange gift! I’ve finally got access to a real computer where I can format the text and actually post something that isn’t a block of text. My own laptop should be repaired in a week or so and I’ll be able to post the rest of this incredibly cheesy fic. But until then, enjoy little kids being cute as h*ck. (also: it’s basically required to read their voices in classic little kid tones)

Kindergarten

Wally is smart. Very smart.

He knows he’s smart, too, because he gets gold star stickers on all of his shape matching sheets, happy faces on his progress reports, and– most importantly– because his parents tell him so.

His smartitude (and his awareness of it) is both a blessing and a curse in the West household.

“Are you sure you want to do them all by yourself, kiddo?” Mary West asks, snipping her scrapbooking scissors around the edges of the last bright red, heart-shaped, construction paper card.

“Yep,” Wally says, popping the ‘p’. He reaches across the table for a card.

Mary slides the finished stack closer to him from across the kitchen table and puts her scissors down, resigning herself to the fact that they’re going to be sitting at this table for a very, very long time if Wally gets his way.

“Alrighty then, that’s going to be nineteen different names. That’s a lot of writing,” she notes, and Wally’s eyes positively sparkle with determination.

Mary immediately regrets lacing a challenge into her words.

Wally picks up his pencil and nods quickly. “I’m ready.”

“Okay, you write the names and I’ll read the list out. Let’s start from the top.” Mary drags her finger over the first name on the class roster. “Buddy Baker. That’s going to be a big B-”

“Nooo,” Wally whines loudly, replacing his ready smile with a pronounced pout, “I can spell it myself.”

“My apologies,” Mary says quickly, raising her hands in surrender. “Go ahead and spell it then.”

“Buh-d-y.” Wally sounds out his classmate’s name determinedly as he puts his pencil to the card. “Bee-you...dee...dee-Eeeeeeee-oops.”

He doesn’t hesitate to erase the ‘e’ on the card.

“Buddy’s the same as Wally, isn’t it?” Wally asks, waiting for his mother to validate his theory.

“Yes,” Mary says, proudly nodding, “and since it is the same, how would you spell it?”

“Bee-you-dee-dee-why,” he recites, adding a smiley face to the card.

He hands the card over to Mary and she smiles in approval. Every letter is facing the right direction and he didn’t curve his ‘y’ the wrong way again. She tapes a Kit-Kat to the back and puts it in a bag. Maybe they’ll get through the roster faster than she thought.

“You’re so smart, sweetie,” she says, handing him another card from the stack. “Let’s keep going. Next up: Artemis Crock.”

Wally places the pencil down and stares at the card in front of him. Mary practically hears the screech of the brakes in his mind. His eyes dart from the card, to his pencil, to the roster in her hands, and back to the card. He looks up at her, momentarily defeated.

“...Uh...”

“Would you like me to spell it?”

“...Yes, please.”

The last thing Wally expects to see when he hands out the super special cards he wrote all by himself is someone crying.

The whole classroom is covered in reds and pinks, there’s confetti and glitter all over the floor from one girl’s crafty cards, they have free time, and there are unlimited cookies. Wally can’t think of a single reason why anyone would be sad when there were unlimited cookies. But someone is, and that someone just so happens to be the last person standing between him and a trip to the goodie-bag covered table at the back of the room.

After Mr. Carr had set them loose to hand out their cards and candies, Wally had made a beeline through the room with his mother in tow. He made a show out of passing his cards out faster than anyone else, exchanging his for the cards his classmates had made for him and handing them to his mother as they walked. When only one remained, he whispered to his mother that he would pass this one out all by himself and meet her at the cookie table after he completed his special assignment.

(On her way to the table, Mary makes a note to herself about the continuity she’d unwittingly signed up for when she’d initiated playing secret agent before bathtime the previous night).

Artemis doesn’t seem to be as concerned as Wally is about the lack of treats in her vicinity as she pushes around a pile of confetti back and forth across her desk with the edge of a valentine. Her eyes are fixed on the glimmering hearts and stars, and every so often she swipes her sleeve over her cheeks and sniffles.

Wally glances around for a good amount of time, searching for his mother, Mr. Carr, or another grown up to handle the situation, but then he remembers: he’s a smart kid.

He can figure it out all by himself.

And so, determined to understand, Wally takes his preferred path to answers: questions.

“Hey, Artemis, why are you crying?” he asks abruptly, taking care to tuck his card behind his back before she sees it.

Candy is distracting and Wally wants the Facts.

“I’m not,” Artemis says quickly, looking up at him with hard, watery eyes, but the look does little to distract from the wobble in her voice.

“Are too,” he informs her, using his free hand to point at the wet spot on her sleeve.

She uses her hand to hide the spot and shakes her head. “Am not.”

He moves his finger to point at the spot on her other sleeve. “Are too.”

“Am not,” Artemis huffs, narrowing her eyes before crossing her arms and effectively covering both spots from view. “Go away.”

Wally is not so easily deterred. “Why are you hiding now?”

“I am not hiding. I like sitting like this,” she explains pointedly, scooting further down in her seat.

“But why?” Wally whines, tapping his foot against the floor with far more force than necessary.

“Because,” Artemis sighs, the same way his mom does when it’s almost bedtime and he’s not tired, “it’s my seat and my arms and I sit how I want.”

Well, she’s got him there. As Wally tries to think of a new approach, he gets pushed by a passing classmate as they rush past him to get to the snack table. The air current that follows knocks some of the confetti off Artemis’s desk and onto the floor. She pouts at the loss.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Wally says, gesturing at her card-sparse desk. “Where’s your valentines at?”

Artemis uncrosses her arms and protectively places her hand over the one valentine on her desk. “Right here.”

“Yeah, but where’s the rest?” Wally presses, pointing to the desk beside her where a stack of mismatched cards is one desk-bump away from being scattered across the floor.

Artemis looks around the room warily before she hesitantly admits, “No one will give them to me.”

“What?” he asks, his eyes wide with shock.

“Yeah... I don’t have mine, and everyone’s trading, so they skipped me...” Artemis carefully picks up the lone card on her desk, examines it in her hands, and adds, “Megan gave me one though.”

“Well, where’s yours at?”

Artemis frowns and her sniffles make a reappearance as she starts looking around the room again. She puts down Megan’s card before answering.

“My dad was supposed to bring them before snack time, and I told him ten times what time, too, but-” she pauses to quickly rub at her eye, but the attempt to hide her tears falls short as her voice breaks as she continues, “but he’s still late.”

Ignoring the siren blaring in his mind, the one that exists to let him know when getting a grown up would be a really great, big boy idea, Wally takes a deep breath and decides to prove he can fix this all by himself.

“Here,” he says quickly, holding out her card, a heart with a lollipop poking out like an arrow on one side. “I made this one for you.”

Artemis’s eyebrows knit as she sits up in her seat and asks, “Really?”

“Yeah,” he says with a nod, holding it closer to her, “I don’t need a trade. It’s your Valentine. Look it, I even wrote your name all by myself.”

Artemis’s last tear stops in its tracks at the edge of her eye as she takes the card from him and places it between Megan’s card and the pile of confetti.

“Thanks, Walter,” she says with the tiniest of sniffles and biggest of smiles, before she gasps, stands up, and nearly knocks her chair to the floor in her haste.

Wally has to jump out of the way to avoid her as she sprints towards the front of the room and straight into the arms of the tall man at the door. Using his secret agent detective skills, he deduces that the man must be her father and the bag he passes to Artemis must be filled with her cards.

“That’s not my name,” he grumbles to himself as he watches her rifle through her bag.

“Hey, kiddo,” his mother says from behind him, calling his attention and presenting him with a napkin with a heart-shaped cookie on it. “I found your favorite.”

The cookie solves everything.

“Yessss,” Wally cheers, taking the cookie off the napkin and shoving half of it into his mouth before he adds, “Tanks, Ma.”

Before he can eat the other half of his cookie, he feels a hard poke on his shoulder and turns around to find a pink heart in his face.

Artemis beams at him from behind the card and says, “I got yours first. Here.”

“Fanks,” he says through a mouthful as he takes the card and the candy attached to it. Before he can say another word (read: correct her on his name), Artemis takes off to hand out her next card to the only other redhead in the class.

His mother laughs lightly and runs her fingers through her son’s hair as he huffs at the lost opportunity and starts opening the Smarties taped to the card. Mary, having watched from the sidelines as her son diffused his crying classmate, finds herself beaming with pride.

She’s always been proud of her son, for a lot of reasons- the gold stars, the happy faces, never a bad note sent home- but today, if he asked, she’d say she’s proudest of his heart.

[kinkykinard]

500 Follower Celebration

I’ve finally reached over 500 followers!  522 to be exact.  That’s insane!  You guys have no idea how incredibly happy I am, how flattered I am.

You’re all such amazing people!

Thank you for every single follow, every reblog, every like, and every ask.  Thank you for all of the wonderful conversations, gif spams, and well wishes!  You guys have brightened my days, given me pause, and helped me learn and grow so much.  You all mean the world to me!

Thank you.

I’d now finally like to announce my 500 follower celebration!  Check it out below the cut!

For 500 followers, I’ll be doing 10 character studies.

What is a character study?

It’s a way for me to share my own little headcanons with all of you in a more formal, standardized sort of way.  Below you will find a list of A to Z words and explanations for each word.  What I want from you guys is to take a look at the list, send me a character (any from AOS or TOS) and up to 3 letters.  For each letter, I will write a paragraph or two explaining my headcanon for that character.

I’d prefer it if you were off anon so that I’m not getting duplicate requests because I’d like everyone to have an equal opportunity, but if you’re really not comfortable coming to me off anon (which I hope you are!), feel free to use it anyway.

I will be taking 10 requests for these at this time.  I wish I could do more, but I’m so busy with school work this month that if I take more, it may take me far too long to finish them.  I’ll be keeping this list handy for future celebrations, though, so if you don’t make it in in time, don’t worry!  They’ll be back!

If I receive a duplicate request for a character - for example, if two people request the same letter for JIm, for example - I’ll honor the first person’s request, and I will send a message to the second to choose another letter with a link to the earlier post for the duplicate!

Now, then, enough of my rambling...  To the list!

The prompts are:

A - Aesthetic - what’s their aesthetic?

B - Body - what do they love about their body?  Do they have any body insecurities?  What would they change if they could?

C - Comfort - do they have a comfort object that ties them to their past?  Do they have a favorite comfort food?  Do they have a comfort routine for the rough days?

D - Dreams - do they have any recurring dreams?  Nightmares?

E - Emotions - how do they deal with their feelings?  How do they handle excitement?  Sadness?  Other feelings?

F - Fears - what are they scared of?  Do they have any phobias?

G - Gratitude - what are they most grateful for?  What do the get the most gratification out of?

H - Hogwarts - which Hogwarts house do they belong to?  Which hybrid house?

I - Insubordination - are there any orders they would not follow?  Why or why not?

J - Jokes - what kind of a sense of humor do they have?

K - Kinks - what turns them on?  What kind of bedroom games are they into?  Do they have any hard nos?

L - Lovers - what do they look for in a lover - physically, personality-wise?

M - Music - what kind of classical stuff are they into?

N - Novel - what kinds of books do they like to read?  Any favorite authors?

O - Orientation - if they have a canon sexual orientation, how did they come to realize it?  If now, what might their orientation be?

P - Personality - what’s their MBTI personality type and why?

Q - Questions - what keeps them up at night?  What’s their ultimate question?

R - Recreation - what do they like to do in their spare time?

S - Sins - which of the seven deadly sins are they guilty of?

T - Toys - what was their favorite toy as a child?  What was its sentimental value?  Do they still have it?  Do they enjoy playing with any sorts of toys in adulthood?

U - Unspecified - send me a word of your choice to work with!  Make sure you note that it’s for the unspecified prompt!

V - Values - what do they value most in themselves?  In other people?

W - Wishes - what do they want most in life?

X - X-rays - what’s the worst injury they’ve ever sustained?

Y - Yawn - what bores them?  What topics of conversation or school subjects can’t they stand?

Z - Zodiac - if they have a canon birthday, do their signs suit them?  If not, what sign should they be based on their personality?

If you guys have any questions at all, feel free to ask!  Otherwise, send in your requests!

I’ll let you know once I’ve received 10 and they’re all full up.

Thank you all again!

I’d be nowhere without the lot of you. 

[dazzledbybooks]

A princess with two futures. A destiny all her own Between her cruel family and the contempt she faces at court, Princess Alyrra has always longed to escape the confines of her royal life. But when she’s betrothed to the powerful prince Kestrin, Alyrra embarks on a journey to his land with little hope for a better future. When a mysterious and terrifying sorceress robs Alyrra of both her identity and her role as princess, Alyrra seizes the opportunity to start a new life for herself as a goose girl. But Alyrra soon finds that Kestrin is not what she expected. The more Alyrra learns of this new kingdom, the pain and suffering its people endure, as well as the danger facing Kestrin from the sorceress herself, the more she knows she can’t remain the goose girl forever. With the fate of the kingdom at stake, Alyrra is caught between two worlds and ultimately must decide who she is, and what she stands for. Thorn by Intisar Khanani Publisher: Hot Key Books Release Date: March 24th 2020 Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy, Retellings, Romance, Fairy Tales Links: Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36443368-thorn Amazon: https://amzn.to/368iK6x B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thorn-intisar-khanani/1111104034?ean=9780062835703#/ iTunes: https://books.apple.com/us/book/thorn/id1329410102 Bookdepository: https://www.bookdepository.com/Thorn-Intisar-Khanani/9781471408724?ref=grid-view&qid=1579381994072&sr=1-1 Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/thorn-17 Google Books: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=M7WeDwAAQBAJ Favorite Quotes: Mother has never kept me safe from my brother The only time I can remember not fearing him was before my father’s death. This is how you survive: one breath to the next, refusing each thought as it comes to you. This is how you get through the worst of things. Deep inside, I hear Ash ask, Who pushed you? It is a question I have waited half a lifetime to hear. I am amazed the sun does not shine. I am not about to let one unfriendly man rob me of my chance at happiness. Review: Thorn by Intisar Khanani is a retelling of "The Goose Girl". I was really looking forward to this book. It sounded so good. I found that I enjoyed this book. Princess Alyrra has never been a very good princess. Alyrra wants nothing more than to get away from her family. She has a very cold mother that does not show love and then she has a very abusive brother. My heart ached for this girl. When a king show sup and asks for Alyrra's hand in marriage to his son, Alyrra realizes that she doesn't have very many choices in life. She can either marry this prince or she can stay with her abusive family. Then Alyrra switches places with her handmaiden. The adventure takes off from there. I have to say that I really enjoyed these characters. I thought that each one of them was very thought out. I felt like they had great personalities and that they were very well written. I really loved the magic. Khanani did a great job with the magic in this book. I thought it fit quite perfectly. I really liked how Khanani approached some of the more sensitive topics in this book. I thought she did a really good job. I feel like when it comes to tough subjects, our society likes to hide and pretend that things don't happen. I think that this book really touches on some great hot topics. Ultimately, I really liked this book. I think it is definitely worth giving a shot. Excerpt: I lead the king down to the back entrance to the gardens, and we walk along between plots of dill, thyme, and chives. I wait, knowing he will speak when he is ready. “How much does your mother confide in you?” he asks as we near the middle of the gardens. I slide a look at him from the corner of my eye. “Enough. My lord.” His lips quirk, the first true smile I have seen from him. “Is that honest?” I pause beside a bed of borage. “How much do I need to know, my lord? You are here seeking a wife for your son.” “I am,” he agrees. “How often do you participate in the discussions between your mother and the council?” “I don’t, my lord. You should know I am not . . .” I hesitate, aware that I have no place telling this king what he should or should not know. Or jeopardizing such an alliance for my land. “Not what?” I struggle to find an appropriate way to finish. “Not—it is not thought my place to attend such meetings.” “You would never inherit the throne?” I could inherit, it is true, but I doubt the council would allow it given my history—and certainly not now that I might marry into another royal family, one that would be happy to add our lands to their own. Either way, should my brother die, the council would certainly pass over me in favor of our nearest cousin. “It is unlikely,” I say finally. “I doubt that,” the king says. “It has been my experience that even young men die. What you mean to say is your council would not accept you should your brother die without issue and you were yet unwed. Why?” If he knows all the answers, why is he asking? I look him in the eye and quip, “Perhaps I am too honest, my lord.” He laughs. “And too straightforward. You will have to learn to play with your words more.” He reaches out, his fingertips brushing my arm where my brother held me. I flinch back reflexively, as if the bruises have already darkened—as if he could see them through my sleeve. He watches me, his eyes glinting in the sunlight. “Once you are Menaiya’s,” he says, “your brother will never hurt you again.” About the Author: Intisar Khanani grew up a nomad and world traveler. Born in Wisconsin, she has lived in five different states as well as in Jeddah on the coast of the Red Sea. She first remembers seeing snow on a wintry street in Zurich, Switzerland, and vaguely recollects having breakfast with the orangutans at the Singapore Zoo when she was five. She currently resides in Cincinnati, Ohio, with her husband and two young daughters. Until recently, Intisar wrote grants and developed projects to address community health with the Cincinnati Health Department, which was as close as she could get to saving the world. Now she focuses her time on her two passions: raising her family and writing fantasy. Intisar’s debut novel, Thorn, was picked up by HarperTeen and will be re-released in Winter 2020. In the meantime, she’s hard at work on the remaining books of The Sunbolt Chronicles. Links: Website: http://booksbyintisar.com Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/Intisar_Khanani Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/booksbyintisar Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/booksbyintisar/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/booksbyintisar On March 24th Thorn will be releasing from Hot Key (UK) and HarperTeen (US/CA)! To celebrate, I’m offering some amazing Thorn goodies to everyone who … ·        pre-orders/orders a copy of Thorn before March 31st at 23.59. ·        OR requests it from their library (library hold / suggested purchase) before March 31st at 23.59. Here’s what’s up for grabs: Physical goodies (US/UK): PHOTO AVAILABLE ON DROPBOX ·        A Thorn Bookmark ·        A set of Chibi Stickers featuring Thorn characters ·        A Signed Bookplate PLUS Digital goodies (worldwide): ·        A PDF of Brambles – a Thorn prequel short story so you can jump into Alyrra’s world now! ·        A PDF of The (Annotated) Goose Girl – the original fairytale with annotations from yours truly in the margin ·        A coloring page of three Thorn-themed bookmarks All you need to do to enter is send a proof of purchase (or screenshot of your library hold), your name and address to khananipreorder@gmail.com. T&Cs apply! UK entrants: Hot Key Books rocks and can mail you physical goodies as well as the digital. Check it out here: https://ift.tt/3dBVTVP Non-US/UK entrants: I really, really wanted to offer you the physical goodies, but postage is a bear. If you would like to cover the cost of an international stamp ($1.20), I can absolutely mail you the goodies as well. E-mail in your proof/screenshot for your digital goodies, and I’ll link you up so you can do that. Original link: http://booksbyintisar.com/thorn-pre-order/ The universal book link for purchasing Thorn is: www.books2read.com/thorn Giveaway: 1st Prize: Win a book of your choice from Bookdepository (INT*) 2nd Prize: Win a THORN swag pack (stickers, bookmark, and a signed bookplate) [INT] T&Cs: - Bookdepository: Open INTERNATIONALLY, *where Bookdepository ships to (https://www.bookdepository.com/help/topic/HelpId/3/Which-countries-do-you-deliver-to#helpContent). - Swag bundle: Open INTERNATIONALLY. Starts: 24th March 2020 Ends: 7th April 2020 Tour Schedule: March 24th The Unofficial Addiction Book Fan Club - Welcome Post March 25th My Bookish Escapades - Guest PostMythical Books - ReviewMoonlight Rendezvous - Review + Favourite QuotesMarzie's Reads - ReviewMaBookYard - Review + Favourite Quotes March 26th L.M. Durand - ReviewThe Everlasting Library - ReviewBook-Keeping - ReviewFoals, Fiction & Filigree - Review + Favourite Quotes& She Reads - ReviewElisabeth Wheatley - Review + Playlist + Dream Cast March 27th Kait Plus Books - Guest PostUtopia State of Mind - Review + Favourite QuotesHere's to Happy Endings - ReviewThe Laughing Listener - ReviewBookishly Nerdy - Review + Favourite QuotesBooks_n_sunshine - Review + Favourite Quotes + Dream Cast March 28th A Book Addict's Bookshelves - InterviewBooks.Bags.Burgers - Review + Favourite QuotesGwendalyn’s Books - ReviewThe Layaway Dragon - Review + Favourite QuotesFanna Wants The World To Read - Review March 29th Fangirl Pixie Blog - Review + Playlist + Favourite QuotesSometimes Leelynn Reads - Review + Dream CastLa La in the Library - ReviewHauntedbybooks - Review + Favourite QuotesBiblioxytocin - Review + Favourite Quotes March 30th To All The Books I've Read Before - InterviewA Dream Within A Dream - ReviewHappily, Hedy - Spotlight Dazzled by Books - Review + Favourite Quotesinkstains.and.dust - Review theanxiousbookworm_ - Review + Favourite Quotes

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