#I am so close to having an actual full draft of a story complete for the first time in my LIFE though this is crazy

[prolibytherium]

Wild how I can whiplash between extremes of writing like 10k words in a couple days and 'well it's been 3 hours and I have completed a single sentence'

[magicthatmustbelove]

The Interview

From: "Reverie" drafts

A follow-up to the "Meant To Be" imagine in which Y/N and Michael, now married, give Diane Sawyer an exclusive about the origins of their love story.

Note: I know Diane is an incredibly condescending, untactful, and unethical journalist but I honestly couldn't think of anyone else to use. Don't worry, she's not on any b.s. here.

BOTDF Era

Link to original imagine: https://www.wattpad.com/959232865-reverie-michael-jackson-imagines-meant-to-be%E2%9C%A8

Sometimes love can be found in the most unconventional places and this is certainly the love story of pop superstar Michael Jackson and his wife Y/N Jackson. 

What started out as a business arrangement soon blossomed into a close friendship and ultimately a whirl-wind romance. On the eve of their first anniversary,  Michael and Y/N sit down with us and unfold their love story publicly for the very first time. 

You folded your legs in the creme-colored chair smiling at Michael as he reached the space between you before grabbing your hand. The bright stage lights felt bright on your skin but it wasn't bothersome.

Across the room, Diane Sawyer smiles at the two of you admiringly from a matching sofa. 

"So Michael, Y/N, how's married life treating you?" Diane asks, resting a hand under her chin. 

You glance over at Michael, sharing a loving smile. The blush creeping across his cheeks makes you giggle. 

"It's been wonderful," your husband answers proudly. "Life has been so good to me in a way I've never experienced before," 

You feel your stomach erupt with butterflies from his sweet words.

"And Y/N, do you share the same feelings?"

"Absolutely,"

Diane leans back against the soft sofa, taking a deep breath before she starts her full session of questions. The stack of index cards clutched in her fist suddenly makes you nervous. This was your very first time talking to the press. Michael had given you pointers the night before but nothing could truly prepare you for the real thing. 

"Before you two got together, Y/N was a surrogate mother to your now six-year-old son, Liam, is that true?"

Michael shifted uncomfortably in his seat, seeming unprepared for such a straightforward question. 

"Yes, that is true," He replied. 

"Tell me how it started, Michael," Diane urged. 

Your husband chuckled lightly. 

"Oh boy," he smiled. "Well in '93 I was 35 and I didn't have the family I always dreamed of. I was always traveling on tour and always working and while I found my art very fulfilling, something was missing from my life. I wanted someone to live for and dating has always been kinda hard being who I am so I decided to skip a couple steps and go with surrogacy," 

"And then comes Y/N," Diane speaks.

You both chuckle and Michael nods. 

"Then came Y/N," 

"Y/N how did you decide to become a surrogate? And for Michael Jackson at that?!" 

You smile, trying to relax as you formulate your response in your head. 

"Well to be quite honest, I was a little down on my luck and I needed the money," you respond slowly. " In the beginning things were completely private. I had no idea I was to carry the child of a superstar,"

Diane nods.

"Michael, what made you choose Y/N out of all the other women who were candidates? Did you like what you saw?" 

The question makes you giggle. 

"I like what I see very much," Michael chuckles. " I don't know, there was just this force that made me gravitate towards her file. It was destiny. And she was perfectly healthy.  I wanted a healthy child," 

You weave your fingers through your husband's hand, squeezing it gently. 

"Y/N how did you react when you found out that you were going to be carrying Michael Jackson's baby? Was this something you dreamed about in your childhood?"

You grin. 

"Well I actually dreamed about having Shaun Cassidy's baby as a kid," you chuckle, tossing your hair over your shoulder.

Beside you, Michael scoffs in faux outrage and Diane laughs.

"You never told me that," 

You giggle and shift to face him. 

"Well that's not a very nice thing to say when you're doing such a big favor," You retorted, patting his knee sweetly. "Anyway, I honestly had second thoughts when I found out it'd be Michael. I wasn't sure how he'd treat me. I was afraid he'd be a diva and have all these demands and I wanted this process to be as stress-free as possible," 

"And is Michael Jackson a diva?" Diane pressed. 

You smile at your husband. 

"He's the kindest, sweetest man I've ever known. He was so caring during the entire pregnancy. I don't think I would have had such an amazing experience carrying someone else's child and I knew he'd be the most amazing father. He waited on me hand and foot,"

Michael brushes his thumb over your knuckles while glancing at you lovingly. If the cameras weren't rolling you'd kiss him. 

"So you moved into Neverland?" 

"At the very end of my pregnancy, I did," You reply. "I gave birth there. I love that place," 

Diane smiles. 

"Was there ever a sense of awkwardness between the two of you? It must be weird to have a stranger carry your child and vice versa,"

Michael shook his head. 

"Not for me," he responded without hesitation.  "Had it been anyone else I'd have provided the same accommodation.  But getting to know Y/N made it special. She has a beautiful spirit. I was willing to do anything for her,"  

You smile. 

"For me, it was a bit weird," You answer honestly.  "Not because we were strangers but because we grew so close. I had no intention of being a part of Liam's life but it felt weird just giving birth and never getting to see Michael again. He's such a special person and it would have been cruel to just drop out of his life. But it also felt cruel to be in and out of the baby's life,"

"So what happens after you give birth?" Diane asks. 

Michael sighs.

"We got separated for a bit," 

You place a hand on his knee and nod in agreement. 

"I needed a little time to get my emotions together after giving birth and truly decide if I wanted to be a part of our son's life," you explain " And I wanted to give Michael time to bond with the baby. The invitation was always there but it just didn't feel right," 

"So is this the moment where the romantic feelings started? Michael, did you think Y/N had gotten away from you?" 

Your husband smiled softly. 

"Not exactly," he started slowly. "I really cherished my friendship with Y/N and I missed her but I respected her decision. But then she kept calling in to check in on how Liam was growing and again the invitation was open,"

You smile as you cross your legs again. 

"That baby boy was the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on and I knew letting them both into my life could only enhance it. I took the invitation, moved closer to Los Olivos and spent as much time with them as I thought would be appropriate. I still didn't want to confuse Liam," 

Diane's eyebrows raise. 

"And still no romance?" 

You chuckle. 

"That was a few more years into the making," Michael replied. 

"We made this arrangement where we could co-parent Liam without feeling pigeonholed into a traditional family dynamic. We decided we could see other people and have our own lives apart from each other and still raise Liam. In fact, he proposed to another woman the night we realized our feelings for each other," You respond.  

Diane's eyes grew wide. 

"Did you really?" She asked incredulously.  

Michael chuckled bashfully. 

"Yes, it's true," 

"It's obvious this woman said no, so then you go to Y/N? Was she your second choice? Did you ever think 'If things didn't work out with someone else then I'll go get with Y/N?' "

You frown slightly,  finding the question annoying. 

"Not at all," your husband responds. "Y/N was always my first choice. She was the most important person in my life apart from Liam. My girlfriend at the time felt threatened by the bond Y/N and I had and she would only agree to marry me if I cut Y/N out of my life. That wasn't an option for me. I couldn't imagine life without Y/N and that's when I realized I was madly in love with her," 

Diane smiles. 

"And Y/N, did you agree with him getting engaged?" 

"I was a little worried that him getting married would ruin my chances of staying in Liam's life but I did want to see him happy," 

Michael smiled. 

"So how did you get it out?" Diane asked. "How was the big confession?" 

A big grin spreads across your lips as you reminisce about that magical night.  

"I'd stayed over to be with Liam that night and when he came home he came into my room. I was very anxious thinking maybe he got engaged and that I'd be out of their lives. But then he explained it all to me. I thought he was insane at the time; we'd never said I love you or expressed our feelings for each other that way at the time. He even put the ring he'd proposed to her on my hand,” 

Diane clicked her tongue in disapproval. 

“Shame, shame,” she spoke playfully. “Please tell me you got her another ring?” 

Michael bashfully pinched his bottom lip. 

“Of course, I did,” 

You held your left hand up to the interviewer, showing off the very large, emerald-cut yellow diamond ring Michael had eventually proposed to you with. He'd taken extra care in picking it out after making the first impulsive mistake. 

“Wow!” Diane exclaims, pushing her reading glasses up on her nose to get a clearer view of the scintillating diamond. “Well, I think we all know that you don't wash any dishes or windows,” 

You chuckle. 

“So tell me about Liam,” she continues. “What are his interests? Do you ever think he'd go into show business like dear old dad?” 

Michael instantly shakes his head. 

“Noooo,” He responds. “If he decides that's the life path he wants to take when he becomes an adult, I'll support him but for now I want him to have the childhood I didn't,” 

You squeeze your husband's hand. 

“He's so much like Michael,” you smile. “Very bright and inquisitive. He loves drawing and reading and he's going through a dinosaur phase right now” 

Diame smiles. 

“Does he call you Mommy?” She asks.

You chuckle. 

“He's always called me Lolly. I really didn't want him to call me mommy in the beginning because I wasn't sure if I'd be around like that and I didn't want to confuse him. I told him he could after Mike and I married but he likes Lolly. I like Lolly too,” 

“Is he aware that you're his birth mother or how you and his father met?” 

You frown a little. So far the questions had been easy but this was a tough one. 

“It is something that we plan to explain to him when he's much older and can understand, “ Michael interjects. “But he's always had a maternal bond with Y/N, I'm not sure it totally matters,”

You fiddle with Michael’s fingers, hoping to find an appropriate follow- up to the question. 

“If anything, I hope that when he's old enough to understand, our son can learn from our story that sometimes love can come from the most unconventional situations whether it's romantic or otherwise,” You respond. 

Michael grins at you, proud of your answer. 

“So what do you say to those who might think that your relationship dynamic is weird or unethical?” 

Another hardball question but you were feeling surprisingly confident enough after your previous answer. 

“I think those people should mind their business,” you retort.

“Yeah!” Michael quietly cheers beside you. 

There is a beat of silence between the three of you and you're not quite sure if the interview is over until Diane speaks, a wide grin stretching across her lips

“Last question,”

You feel your cheeks burning with a blush and Michael fidgets nervously in his seat. You were suspicious about what this last question would be. If it was what you suspected, it would certainly be the main thing people would be buzzing about. 

“Uh-oh,” he sighs. 

“I have word on very good authority that you and Y/N are expecting another baby. Is it true?” 

You bite your lip as Michael nervously chuckles. 

“We don't wanna say too much. We've already revealed so much about ourselves,” he responds. “But... yes,” 

You glance lovingly at your husband, nodding happily. 

“Yes, it's true,” you grin. 

Diane smiles while leaning back in her seat. 

“I can always tell that glow. Well, congratulations to you and Michael.  And to Liam on becoming a big brother. I hope everyone will be very happy,”

All those years ago when Liam was born, you'd never envisioned your future would be like this but you were terribly, utterly, and blissfully happy with the life you'd created with the man you loved.

✨

[weaselandfriends]

Have you thought about opening a Patreon? I would pay a lot of money if it meant getting your stories more regularly...

My prose sucks, yours is spectacular. How do I get better at it? I try reading a lot, but I'm starting to conclude there's only so much you can pick up via absorption without some kind of formal instruction.

1. I'm not especially interested in opening a Patreon, and here's why. First, I work a reliable full time job that isn't too demanding on me, so I'm already financially stable. My following right now likely isn't large enough to sustain me full time, so I wouldn't be able to use Patreon as a primary income source anyway. Even if my following was larger, though, it would be a gamble to quit my job and sustain myself solely on fan donations. Ultimately, it would probably be more stressful for me than my current situation, and I could see my writing quality suffer under the pressure of needing to constantly output material on a monthly basis. On top of that, I'm not sure if sustaining myself on Patreon would actually increase the regularity of my stories. Unlike seemingly most authors (go look at Alexander Wales' Tumblr for an example), I'm not an "ideas guy." I don't get a lot of story ideas. The ideas I do get I nurture for years, slowly adding details to them until they're ready to write. Cockatiel x Chameleon was an idea I got in 2015 (published 2022). Modern Cannibals was an idea I got in 2012 (published 2017). When I am actually writing a story, I'm usually able to consistently output content, even with my job. The limiting factor for me isn't my available time in the day, but my brain. I appreciate the sentiment, though! One of my favorite comments, which I received on Cockatiel x Chameleon, went something like "You should be on humanity's payroll."

2. My prose sucked too. When I was a teen, I would write stories and my classmates would laugh at how badly written they were. In college, I couldn't even get my friends or family to read my stories. (I once described one of my stories to my grandmother and she said, "Well that doesn't sound any good at all.") At age 18, I decided to start reading classic literature. Only classic literature, at a rate of 50 pages a day, every day. I read all kinds, from all sorts of time periods and countries. I read everything from Homer to David Foster Wallace. And while I read, I wrote. I wrote badly. In college I wrote novels that pretty shamelessly imitated the prose styles of Faulkner and Cormac McCarthy. By the time I started writing Fargo (which is a story where I think my prose was still improving), I had written nine complete novels and had read somewhere between 200 and 300 works of classic literature. I didn't have any formal training, at least in terms of writing fiction. I was an English/Geography dual major, and from my English classes I learned how to close read a text, and in general I learned how to write an academic essay. In my final year of college I took an MFA-styled creative writing workshop, but by then I was pretty much beyond what it could teach me and I don't feel like I learned much of anything from it.

Other than reading and writing, I started editing. One of my later pre-Bavitz novels I finished, then went back and edited assiduously. I took a 100,000 word rough draft and over 14 editing passes pared it down to 70,000 words. That was massive for improving my prose, as it forced me to engage with my story on a word-by-word level. Every single word fell under my scrutiny and thus I had to grapple with how valuable, how good that word was. What I learned from that experience was massive for improving my prose going forward.

I think it's entirely possible for someone to improve their prose just through the basics of reading, writing, and editing. Julirites, the author of Fargo fanfic London, has massively improved her prose over the course of the story. It didn't even take her nine failed novels to do it, either. Be willing to experiment. Be willing to fail. Don't be afraid of someone laughing at you for writing purple prose. Imitate authors you like, that's the first step toward developing your own unique style.

[sugarskies]

The Deca S1E2: The New Magnus || Recorded Changes

Rewrote select paragraphs.

Switched passive voice to active.

Minor word changes.

Added dialogue between Jelpax and Vansell.

Renamed "Jared" (just for shits and giggles).

Grammatical corrections.

Adjusted dialogue between Drax and Magnus.

Added lore about Gallifreyan video games.

Significantly edited the last two scenes.

Final Word Count: -125

Barnable's Behind-the-Scenes Babbles

as mentioned once way back when, epsilon was originally a parody character created for a roleplay i did with a friend over a decade ago. he was actually my friend's character but i was given complete creative control over him when i asked to use him in a story a while after the roleplay ended. had i known how this fic would've blown up, i probably would not have added him in the series. he kind of makes me cringe.

in the 3rd or so draft of the deca, the one that became what you know today, i started this as chapter two. i did not get past the first scene back then but it actually remains pretty similar to this day.

jelpax references a brother named "syds." i thought for sure i had used his full (shortened) name at some point already but ctrl+f shows i haven't. so for those wondering (aka nobody), syds is short for sydnes.

do the deca genuinely want magnus to change? or is their natural response simply to fuck with him? i no longer remember my intention if i had one but i am inclined to believe the latter.

i can't remember why i put a goat in this. it was perhaps inspired by a writing prompt. either way, i have chosen to embrace it by leaning into the recurring joke/question in the chapter that is, "are there even goats on gallifrey?" the world may never know.

someone mentioned once that video games on gallifrey don't make much sense. i thought about that a lot. they really don't make sense. but this is a fun story so i won't take them out. instead we'll just add a silly little layer of ulterior motives to their existence.

rallon steals the show in this chapter. he says he's boring but rereading for the first time in 5 years, all my favorite moments in this chapter are my favorites because of him.

(that said i'm also fond of the moment drax drops his homework in a puddle and when theta panics at being trapped in the room with the goat. but that's more because of how i see it in my mind than how it's written, i think.)

i realized while revising this that the video games have returned for exactly one plot since this chapter. that's from memory and i do not know if the plotline was ever mentioned outside of that. i have taken note of this for the future.

also on the topic of the video games, i added that dialogue where mortimus pondered black market video games. now i am pondering black market video games. should that be the story where the video game saga comes to a close? tbd.

overall this chapter was pretty standalone. i found no questions left unanswered and only the video games as an open plot. unless you count the goat... but maybe that's better left a mystery.

[linskywords]

heyyyy I don't recall if you've ever mentioned using a beta for any of your fics, but can I ask you about your editing process? How you start it, how you do it, what sort of things are you are on high alert for, etc?

I'm 23k into my first hockeyrpf fic, which is kinda *out there* and I'm now grappling with "woah is this even intelligible to other fans" 😅

What a fun question!! First of all, congrats on being 23K in. That's so many Ks! It's such a fun fandom to write in, I'm glad you're joining the fun. 😄

I don't use a beta. I used to, but I'm too impatient for it -- I always want to edit my fics right away and get them out there. So I do my own editing. I don't know how useful this will be for you, since everyone's writing process is so different, but here's how mine works!

First, I write a complete draft. I'll sometimes backtrack if I realize I've taken a wrong turning, but otherwise, I try not to worry too much about quality in the draft. I write from start to finish because otherwise I can't hold onto where I am in the emotional arc. Getting to the end and having the tension resolve is a huge motivator for me.

Once I have a complete draft, I usually do a full editing pass. I save a copy and go back to the beginning and read through the whole thing, editing and rewriting as I go. It's actually impossible for me to read my own draft without editing, which is hugely inconvenient sometimes (e.g. if I step away for a bit and need to refresh myself on the story, it takes forever because I find myself editing as I reread).

A lot of what I edit for is rhythm. I can't quite accurately gauge the rhythm of a scene while I'm writing it, especially if the scene is a conversation; I need to give myself a little distance and then reread for that. I do a lot of adding lines and taking others away to make things flow the way I want them to. I especially watch for if a scene builds too fast and doesn't earn its level of intensity, or if a scene drags and can be trimmed.

Another big one is, am I overstating emotions? Sometimes this means I'm repeating myself, and sometimes it means I'm being too direct about angst etc. when it would be stronger to dial it back and let the reader extrapolate. A lot of times when I'm writing I put in lines that state very directly how the character is feeling, mostly as a way of figuring out what that is, but that's really for me and not the reader, so I take those parts out. Or sometimes I'll put in a line or a feeling and realize I want to use it later on, so it'll be in both places in the draft and I'll take out the earlier one in editing.

I guess the biggest question I'm asking myself when editing is, does this ring true? Anything that feels fake or forced or convoluted or disconnected or illogical gets edited out the best I can.

Other things I look for:

clunky sentences (so many)

using the same word more than once in close succession ("even" and "just" are big ones for me, as are "soft" and "warm" in any sex or romance scene)

using the same sentence structure too many times in a row (she typed a thing, her words wording <- my biggest offender)

having characters smile or grin or laugh too many times in close succession

places where it's not clear which "he" I'm talking about (down with epithets, just repeat the name or rephrase)

places where I use too many dialogue tags (confession, I use them way more often than I need to for intelligibility; I just like the rhythm, and "he says" is neutral enough to my ear that I don't mind the unnecessary usage)

continuity errors, often where I changed something in one place while writing and forgot to change it elsewhere

weird metaphors I thought would work but don't

Usually one pass is not enough, since I'll have rewritten so much that then needs to be edited again. Two editing passes is arguably not enough either, but it's usually the limit of what I'll do. Sometimes if a story is very tricky I'll do more, or if it's very straightforward I might stop at one. It's kind of a vicious cycle: if I reread my edits, I'll want to edit again, and there's no real stopping it without just deciding it's good enough and you can be done. This is one reason I often post in chapters, because it's easier to do this with a smaller chunk of story.

I think that's what I have off the top of my head. Happy to talk more about any aspect if you're curious. Good luck with your writing and editing!!

[starlightshore]

What projects are you currently working on? Both Undertale/Deltarune related and not related.

i got my hands in a lot of things always LOL

lots of stuff under the cut

Undertale / Deltarune

Fangames I Co-direct

- Fallen Fates - Undertale Prequel Full Fangame (?)

Fallen Fates is an Undertale Prequel that aims to follow the "What if you got to play as Chara when they originally fell into the Underground?"

Status: LONG Hiatus. Stuck on concept development as the lead project head is busy with his career. Hopefully, we can jump-start development soon! But we're not fully sure WHAT type of game it'll be. So despite being an old project, it's been rebooted and on hold. That said the team really does want to make this game regardless of how long it takes.

- Sensational Studio's Underswap - Undertale AU Full Fangame

An Underswap fangame that isn't what it seems... it aims to be an exciting re-imagining of Undertale with some Deltarune inspiration.

Status: VERY active development. While not publically discussed, the game has been in stead development this whole time.

- Alteration - Undertale AU (I'm a writer, NOT co-director)

On hold as the project lead is writing a draft. I help with the world-building and concept art. Not much I can say on this one as it's been rebooted.

My Projects

- Angel's Lullaby - Undertale Prequel Full Fangame

An ambitious Prequel that aims to be a "next console (DS) style prequel" that covers the Human and Monster War. Following a new protagonist, a Zombie, who is stuck between both sides of the conflict. Use your unique abilities to form a party and decide which side you'll join. Explore the Island of Monsters and uncover their past and secrets. Can you stop the war?

Status: MESSY. Ok so like. This is my fault 100%. We've switched engines MULTIPLE times and that meant re-coding things every time. Outside the battle system, the game's systems are 90% done. Cutscenes, dialogue, menus, save system, etc. So it's CLOSE to becoming a demo but I simply have been burnt out + don't have much time in the day to work on this. However, I DO think I'll keep working on this as the gameplay is fresh and exciting, and my love for the characters are coming back.

- NightFell - Underfell AU Full Fangame

Jackie is just a regular human teenager who stumbles upon a gateway into hell. There, they'll face the monsters who live on Mt.Crown and are stuck here. There's only one rule in this place: Kill or Be Killed!

A very different take on Underfell, that aims to place the Undertale cast and push them into an Underfell society instead of them having always been in one.

This is honestly my favorite project. It's built on the ideas I developed from a canceled fangame called Spookytale, with permission from Jevil to continue the concepts. My most favorite OC ever, Pumpkin, is in this game. While I am waiting for the DR engine my friend Lasers and I are working on to be made first, Nightfell is honestly the least ambitious and most fun game to make. While the story is a rough draft, it's the most complete. I ADORE this game. I'm so excited to make it.

- Fallen Royalty / New Royals - A webcomic / Video game Combo

An Everybody Lives AU that aims to take a hard look to what it'd be like to actually be resurrected. Deals with the themes of growing up, moving past trauma and accepting a second chance at life.

Originally an askblog from 5 years ago, Fallen Royalty is a rebooted comic that I work on. It has a video game adaption, New Royals, as well as video-game segments for the sidestories. Kinda stuck in development at the moment, as I got [redacted] to work on. But the newest Sidestory, DOWN, is in development and should be out soon-ish.

This is my magnum opus, my love letter to Undertale. I have to make a version of this story that's complete and to my best of writing. The tumblr askblog version, while finished, is missing chunks of the story. Follow me at @askfallenroyalty to see it's development

Danny Phantom

- Electrical Undead - my default AU full of headcanons.

In short here are the main ones: Danny has an electrical/light core + full inverted colorscheme + No clones, Ellie is an AU counterpart instead + Nonbinary Sam and trans Danny + sentient portal

- Lingering Spirits - Farmboy!Danny + Nobody Knows AU

When the weird new kid, Danny, moves into town, strange incidents begin to occur. Ghostly sightings, unexplained phenomena, danger around every corner... Can Sam and Tucker get to the bottom of it before the whole town breaks into chaos?

A Horror AU with an angsty, bitter Danny. When his parents are taken during the portal accident, Danny and Jazz move in with Aunt Alicea. After an incident, the family moves to Amity.

So basically: Fallen Royatly is my main thing. SS will require me every few weeks to work on things. FF and NF are on hold. Angel's is in development, typically worked on every Monday but has been on hold since I moved. When I'm burnt out on working on Undertale stuff, I'll work on Danny Phantom stuff. I always have something going on so I keep myself active.

[daystobook]

Day 6: Neil Gaiman Master Class, Dreyer's English, More Addie Larue, Advancing into the Story

Allegation/Trigger Warning: Neil has been accused by 5 women of sexual assault/rape.

The thing about writing early on—which I am at—is that it's too easy to give up. To become impatient and blurt, 'why is this not working?' leave it, and don't feel bad about it after a while—because there's nothing to feel bad about in the first place, nothing came of it so there's no accountability.

I was stuck with another story yesterday. Listening to VE Schwab's podcast with Cassandra Clare, when Cassandra said that she loves to run her stories by some of her close writer friends, and VE Schwab said something similar, I realised that as much as writing is a lonely occupation, it doesn't have to be. So I asked my friend Amrita a question, posed to answer as a character, and I got my unblocking. Thanks Amrita! I had been able to do something similar for her a few days back, it feels good to be of help.

I continued to write. Every bleh word after you realise this isn't working is a struggle. But I powered through and something I didn't know about the characters unfolded. I took VE Schwab's advice of going outside of the story and thinking about where I want it to go, and started creating a Miro board. Miro boards are nice! I didn't know about how effective they could be before Imagine 2200 folks created an interesting writing exercise for us on a zoom call before they started this year's edition of the writing competition.

At the same time, I also just kept pantsing. I was planning the story alongside of letting it unfold in parallel. Today in Neil Gaiman's masterclass chapter 4—Finding your Voice, I took away two things

Make mistakes.

Only way to make mistakes is to finish writing what I start.

You learn more by finishing a failure than by writing a success. And you definitely learn more by finishing a failure than you ever do by beginning something that's fantastic but stops. —Neil Gaiman, Masterclass, Chapter 4, Finding Your Voice

I haven't had finished failed stories. I don't have stories archived somewhere, which I know nobody will ever read. How will my voice ever develop, if I can't sustain copying others and ensuring an end, no matter how terrible. Listening to Neil, the bucket in which I put 'not good', or 'failed' writing has changed from useless to medals.

I also started reading Dreyer's English. Em dashes and commas, when used effectively can make a long winded thought sentence into something tangible. Dreyer's introduction was funny and full of easily understandable long sentences.

I'm not supposed to use

very

really

rather

quite

in fact

just

so

pretty

of course

actually

extremely

surely

for a week, as an exercise from first chapter of Dreyer's English. That was the whole chapter.

I also realised my one pastel highlighter is the last one standing, and I'll need to order more soon. I am going away from wax highlighters, at least for a bit, because of the ease of order, comfort, contrast, and aesthetic of pastel lightness of liquid highlighters.

There's an interesting exercise I'm going to try from the Neil's masterclass workbook:

Challenge yourself to write a short story in one sitting to fight fear of mistakes. You're not allowed to go away from the project until you have a completed draft. It can be any length, but tell a complete story that will satisfy a reader. Don't do too much editing while you write, let your ideas flow and then structure them once you've got everything on the page.

Hopefully in between the next couple of posts.

[lt-alara-kitan]

Screen Wrecked || A Seth MacFarlane AU

Chapter One: Decisions & Diatribe Romantic Pairing: Seth x OFC Tags: Awkward flirting, power dynamics (nothing too intense for the first chapter) Summary: [Alternate Universe] She's a writer down on her luck looking for a big break. He's the powerful CEO of a giant production studio and he wants her as his very personal assistant. Notes: This is an RPF but also an alternate universe. It gives me more room to play around with the idea I had. Not much is different about this universe when it comes to Seth other than he's the owner and CEO of a powerful production company. Seems like a logical step for someone like him anyway. Disclaimer: Absolutely nothing in this story is meant to reflect Seth in real life. That's why it's an alternate-universe setting, of course. The main character is just an original character I created.

"I didn't actually think I would be hired to write for the show let alone become full time staff. I don't fit in here. Nothing about this is working." She sighed as she watched the bathroom door. The last thing she needed was for someone to walk in on her talking about this job in such a bad way.

"You wanted your foot in the door this is your foot in the door. Whatever it takes, remember?"

"I remember but when they figure out I'm kind of a fraud I'm going to be out of here anyway."

"Fake it as long as you can to find the right person to take you to the next level. You have the talent now you just need the opportunity."

"Fine. Fine. I just want it on record that I already said this was a bad idea." She ended the call and slipped her phone into her back pocket. As argumentative as she could be, she also knew that Clare was right. Maybe what she was doing now wasn't the most exciting job in the world but she was working for a TV studio on a huge lot. A lot that also made movies and saw various celebrities and producers coming in and out all the time.

Unfortunately she'd now wasted fifteen minutes of her lunch break which meant she only had fifteen minutes more. That left her with precious little time to hurry out of there to get to the cafeteria to hopefully grab a sandwich and a soda to make it back to her desk in time. She was supposed to have the latest draft for the newest episode complete by the end of the day and she didn't want to have to work late again.

Hurrying down the hall and towards the elevator she ignored the vibrations from her phone as they continued to go off since she figured they were probably just from Clare sending her messages of encouragement. By the time she'd gotten to the elevator and pushed the button the notifications had gotten annoying enough that she had to take the damn thing out of her pocket to at least put it on do not disturb.

There was a ding as the elevator arrived and she took a step forward not looking up from her phone as she did. Which turned out to be a big mistake because she ran right into *him*. This made his coffee spill from the cup he was holding and splash all over his white shirt. Some designer looking fashion that would have cost her a month of her salary if not more.

"Oh my god I am so sorry." She breathed wanting to attempt to make eye contact but also being afraid of it. She knew who this was. Everyone knew who this was. He owned the entire studio. No one could go anywhere around there without hearing about Seth MacFarlane .

"It's okay," he laughed, "I didn't really like this shirt anyway and the stain kind of looks like Elvis, well, maybe if he was melting." She blinked a few times trying to process what was going on. He wasn't mad? Why? Shouldn't he be calling for security to have her escorted off of the lot?

"Yeah I guess it does but still I um...let me make it up to you." She offered. The doors closed behind them and she turned to press the button to open them again. "Were you getting off here?"

"No I was going down." He nodded, "And you?"

"Yeah me too. Guess we'll be getting off together." She paused then laughed nervously realizing what she said and how it sounded. "I mean like on the same floor not uh...the other thing."

"Other thing?"

She couldn't tell if he honestly didn't know what she meant by that or was just trying to pull her leg and get her to stick her foot in her mouth even more. It was hard not to gaze at him in complete awe. Before he'd become the studio owner he'd also been a writer, actor, director, producer, pretty much everything she'd always wanted to be. The only difference was that he was stunningly gorgeous and she didn't feel like she'd ever been much to look at.

"Never mind." She whispered and pushed back some of the hair that had fallen out of the clip she'd used to put it up in the bathroom.

"Do you really want to make it up to me?" He asked, leaning against the wall to the elevator.

"Yes because I'm so sorry and it will never happen again. I swear." She sighed, "I'm just so...it's not your problem really so never mind all of that."

"You're having problems here?"

"No, I mean, yes but not with anyone specifically everyone has been super nice I just don't think I'm the right person for the job on the show that I've been writing for." She tried to explain without getting into all of the details. He kind of motioned in her direction and she blinked a few times trying to figure out what he was indicating. That was when she realized she hadn't even pushed the button for the ground floor. "Oh fuck sorry...I mean...not fuck..."

"It's okay." He laughed. "Deep breaths you're doing fine." With a nod she reached out and pressed the button for the ground floor. The elevator started to move then there was a rusty screeching sound. The lights above them flickered then shut off as the elevator came to a halt.

"Fu-n." She managed to correct herself at the last moment.

"Do you really think I don't know what you were going to say?" He chuckled again and seconds later the orange glow of the emergency lights flickered on. At least they weren't in pitch black anymore. He stepped forward and pressed the emergency call button, though it didn't seem to do anything either. "What was your name again?"

"Lisa." She said, "Lisa Brixton."

"Ah the new hire for Quantum Echoes." He nodded. She arched a brow, surprised that he'd know anything about that. She guessed it mad some kind of sense but her low level compared to his much higher level position denoted that he wouldn't be bothered with that. "I read the spec script."

"You did? No one told me-"

"It's one of my favorite projects on this lot. Those scripts go through me from time to time. Especially when we need a new writer. I liked it. What makes you think you're not a good fit?"

"Oh well I'm much more into horror than sci-fi, hence the plot of my spec script being relatively horrific. I feel like the sci-fi part was understated for the actual content of the show and I'm really not great at writing science fiction. I just love Siara and wanted to give her some special redemption episode."

"She's a great character. Probably my favorite other than Captain Miller." He nodded then took a sip of what happened to be left in the coffee cup she had spilled. "Horror huh? You have any other spec scripts?"

"No, just actual screenplays and pilots I'm trying to get out there."

"About what?"

For a moment she was rendered speechless since she didn't think she'd get this far in the conversation or that he'd be interested. Probably had they not been stuck in an elevator like this then he wouldn't have but what else were they supposed to do other than talk until help came?

"Oh one of them is kind of a dark comedy horror thing about demons and demon hunters. I have another one that's just a mafia crime drama but I guess there's plenty of dark humor in that as well. Big fan of dark humor." She nodded glad that the orange of the lights in there hid how much she had to be blushing as she forced herself to talk about this to the most powerful guy in the studio.

"You know if you really don't feel like you fit with Quantum Echoes I may have a better position for you. It just opened up."

"Mmm okay what would that be?"

"Personal assistant."

She clenched her jaw as she had kind of been hoping that maybe, just maybe, he was going to offer her something else. However, she also knew that she really couldn't expect an immediate movie deal from him based off of what she had said and her minimal experience there. Being his person assistant would be a step up. She'd get to know him a lot more intimately and it would certainly open up the doors she'd been trying to open for years. She'd never do that as just a staff writer for a show she enjoyed but shouldn't have been writing for in the first place.

"Yeah I mean I'd love too if you think that's a good idea."

"You have any experience with it?"

"Way more than being a staff writer for an actual TV show. It's how I started my career out here."

"Smart move." He chuckled and leaned passed her to press the emergency button again. "The position I'm considering you for will probably be different than what you were doing previously, though."

"Oh? Well I'm a fast learner and I can adapt like that." She snapped her fingers on the last word. "I can send you my resume and recommendations if-"

"That won't be necessary." He said. "Be in my office tomorrow morning at eight and we'll get you started."

"What about my-"

"Don't worry I'm sure I can find them another writer to replace you if things work out." She grinned. Just as he was about to press the emergency button again there was static on the intercom then a voice informing them that things should be up and running in five minutes or so.

"Thank you, sir. I promise that I won't let you down."

"Don't start making promises until you know the details of the position." He said looking her right in the eyes as he spoke. Then he took another sip of his coffee.

"Details..."

"Nothing to be discussed here. You'll have to sign an NDA first."

"What kind of..." before she could finish the lights came back on and the elevator shuddered back to life. It started to descend to the ground floor once again. She looked at him her mind swirling with thoughts about what he could possibly be talking about when it came to this position as his assistant. Her mind went to sex, of course, probably something perverted or kinky.

*Whatever it takes. *

The mantra echoed through her head. She knew what she was doing here and no doubt he knew what this was as well. It couldn't have been any more obvious with him bringing this up right after she explained to him what she really wanted to do with her writing career. Still, there were worse things she could be doing to climb her way to the top. Worse people too. The doors opened and he stepped out in front of her before pausing and turning.

"You were right about us getting off together you know." He laughed and without another word he headed for the men's room probably in an intent to clean up his shirt. She felt her face heat up like crazy as she flushed with arousal and embarrassment. She wasn't sure why he'd be so interested in her but it didn't really matter. If this was her way into the life that she always wanted to have, she was going to take it.

*******

She didn't know how she was supposed to dress for this meeting but she chose to go with a business professional look. Something that she'd modeled after the other personal assistants she had seen around. Even if she had this job before it hadn't been for anyone nearly as high profile as Seth. She guessed she would find out soon enough.

When she arrived there was a secretary in the waiting area. A very annoyed looking woman with overfilled lips and an obvious boob job. She was filing her nails and seemed put out by having to actually do her job and tell Seth that someone was there for an appointment. She took a seat to wait for him but he was fairly punctual. It was a good thing since she hadn't wanted to wait long enough for the panic to set in and convince her to leave.

"Come on in, Lisa." He said and motioned for her to join him in his office. She'd never been in there before but it was huge and luxurious. At the same time it was cozy and warm. Not sterile and cold like she somehow expected it to be. "Have a seat." She looked at the chairs across from his desk and sat down.

"Thank you for seeing me, sir."

"Don't be so humble I don't like that. Besides I asked you here so the pleasure is all mine." He smirked and then opened the top drawer of his desk with a key. He removed two stacks of paper from in there and set them on the desk facing her. He slid the one on the right forward first. "There are two contracts for you to look over."

"I'm not really the best at legal speak unless you want me to take a few hours to really comprehend what's in here." She laughed softly.

"You can certainly take all the time you want but I can summarize it. I guess it's up to you to believe it or not." He said. She nodded and picked up the papers that he'd slid towards her first.

The first page was standard stuff. Mostly about privacy and a non disclosure agreement for being his assistant. On the next few pages were details of what was expected from her in this position and then a general dress code. All of it was familiar to her and things she'd done before.

"You can summarize this if you want but it's like every other contract I've signed for this job so I don't think you're trying to screw me or anything." She laughed.

"Ah don't speak too soon." He smirked and looked her over. She blinked a few times wondering what that was supposed to mean. "The standard contract which you are free to accept will pay 150 thousand a year with car allowance and-"

"I'm sorry what?"

"That's pretty much the going rate for good personal assistants, isn't it?"

"Well 100k and um not a car allowance so..."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're too honest for your own good? Look if you want a decent place to live here and a car that works you need the salary. I also can't have my assistant driving...what is it you drive?"

"A 2016 Toyota." She said. It was old and had a lot of miles but still worked. Mostly. It probably wouldn't be that way for long.

"Yeah so that's not going to be reliable or flashy and I can't have people thinking someone who works for me has that car. No offense." He sighed. "Look I'm really not this narcissistic it's the business you know? Appearances and all that."

"I understand sir. Please continue." She said knowing that she was making half what he just offered as a staff writer and was living with roommates. The new salary would allow her to get her own place and in a better part of town.

"It also includes medical and dental and paid vacation time. Oh also a Christmas bonus depending on how well the studio does this year. Any questions?"

"Not about this." She looked up and motioned to the other stack of papers which was obviously another contract she just couldn't read it from where it was on the desk.

"This is another contract for a very personal assistant." He said. "Don't freak out. I'm offering, sure, but you can say no and still keep the regular job it won't come up again." He said. "No pressure."

"Very personal assistant?" She knew this had to be a sex thing but she was way more intrigue than repulsed. Also confused. Why her? "No offense sir but can't you have any woman on the planet?"

"Most of them yes but that's not what this is about." He chuckled. "This is about a power dynamic."

"I see." She said and sat up a bit more to try to get a glimpse of what the contract said but he put his hand over it quickly.

"Interested?"

"I can't say I'm not but I also can't say yes or no at this time. Can I at least think about it first?"

"Alright you have one week then the offer is off the table and I find someone else. For that job. As I said you can keep the normal one." He said. She nodded looking down at his hand then back up to his eyes. This wasn't going to be an easy decision.

"But if I'm your special personal assistant wouldn't that mean another person would-"

"No. You'd still be my personal assistant just with more benefits." He said. "And that's all you get to know...for now."

"How am I supposed to know if I want to agree to this if I don't know what else is in the contract."

"Life is about risks. The greater the risk the greater the reward. Up to you to decide. Not me." He said. "So if you are starting today there's a whole list of things I need you to get to by day's end." He grabbed a planner from his desk and held it out to her along with a pen. She took it and signed the first contract quickly not wanting that to be taken off the table for a second.

"I'll get right on it, sir and you'll have my answer within the week. Maybe less."

"Good to know." He said and turned to look at his computer. She watched him for a moment before heading out of there to start taking care of her list. The first task was a Starbucks run. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. A new car. A new place to live and a job she was better suited for, even if it wasn't exactly the dream option. Yet try as she might, she couldn't get the idea of the second contract out of her head. She was positive it would torment her the rest of the day too.

[jolalibrary]

Hey my lovely Jo!! We’re going to start with a writing question before we get to 🤡.

When you’re writing a multi-chapter fic, are you writing it chapter by chapter or do you write a large chunk (or the entire fic) before posting the individual chapters?

Love you 💜💜

lovely lovely jenn! what a fabulous question, okay, I may ramble here, forgive meeeee.

previously, I have written a huge chunk of the fic to an outline I have (a skeleton, as I call it) and then begin posting when I’ve banked what I suspect is 30-40% of the fic, to allow for buffer time. this is mainly because I upload weekly and life can happen/sickness/etc.

late night texts was one I wrote three chapters of (thinking it would be five) and began posting and then spent every week writing the next and it was AMAZING! but I also didn’t have assignments then, one shots coming out of my ears (both my fault) or fandom friends to talk to. I just had writing. but with do me yourself, I had a chunk of that written and then I dedicated time aside to do as much of it as I could as i was posting but noticed near the end that I almost lost a thread 😂 like I didn’t close it up. I managed to sort but it kinda made me realise that when I do a slightly bigger plot (for me) my brain can forget little threads.

so I realised for actual series, I need to change it up.

HOWEVER, more recently, blue x frankie WAS supposed to be a collection of one shots that have somehow become a story? (let’s not even ask 😂) so, for this I’ve made a hard plan and made sure it has bullet points so I know what I’m doing.

but with new things, i am trying to write in full at least a draft. there’s something I’m working on that I’ve worked out could be around 12 chapters, and while I could get to four or five and begin posting, I really want to make sure for myself that I’m happy with elements before posting. so I won’t even be teasing that out into the universe because I’ll get excited and post 😂. (I succumb to peer pressure very easily).

now I’ve rambled a lot and I know you asked me for what I do, but I do want to stress there’s no right or wrong way, as long as you can be confident in what youve done. that’s all that matters.

I never used to be a planner, but I’ve found a tactic that works well for me. It’s good for my brain and how i work, and it’s taken years to craft and tweak it to be how i want. so if anyone is after advice: just try things.

and I think because I am now a planner who pants, that has changed me as an uploader, and I think I’ve learnt that I’d like to enjoy the process of posting it more if I know I’m completely done. its especially important as I’m trying to weave more things in and also make the readers lean a bit closer to OCs so people can really sink into them.

anyway, that’s a lot of ramble. but I hope I answered your question! thank you for it, it really made me think!

ily, jo

[romirola]

how do you plan out each chapter for your fics?

Hi, Anon! Thanks for reaching out! I love the chance to talk about writing.

In general, I find that the story itself dictates the chapter breaks somehow, which I'll detail under the but because, as always, I am very long-winded!

My goal for chapter breaks is often to tell a chunk of story that somehow moves the plot along in a satisfying way. I think that's why, if you take a look at my multi-chapter stories, my chapter lengths are different from story to story. I tend to stay away from cliffhangers because as a reader, I never enjoy feeling like I took the time to read a story, only to have everything withheld as a means to get me to read the next chapter. It feels manipulative, so unless the cliffhanger actually serves the story (and every now and again, it does), I like to find some sense of completeness in each chapter, even if there's lots more story to tell! I also find that chapter breaks help with pacing, and allow for more organic time-jumps.

Please feel free to ask any follow-ups, share any thoughts, or pose any other questions, Anon! I'm so happy to have the opportunity to discuss this stuff and to help!

The organizational style I choose for the narrative might align with specific chapter breaks. For instance, in fics such as Trust, Belief, and Sweet Dreams and (It Was the First Time) Things Felt Normal Again, the fact that I wanted to include multiple first-person POVs meant that it would make sense for one chapter to encapsulate each POV change. That way, it would always be clear to the reader from which perspective the story was taking place.

Likewise, sometimes the action automatically gets broken into chunks that show story progression. One example of this in my work is Stronger Together, where each chapter represents a different alternate-version of a person close to Asher.

Other types of fics don't have such a structure built into the narrative, such as Secrets Between Friends, Lucky in Love, Bound Together, and others. In that case, I always finish drafting the entire fic before adding chapter breaks. That way, I can take a look at the full narrative picture and decide how to break up a story that will make sense and make for a pleasant reading experience. About how long would I want the chapters to be, given the length of the full story? How much information does a reader need to feel like the story has progressed in a meaningful way since the last chapter? Where are there time-skips, and could those time-skips be presented as a chapter break to help imply time has passed?

[words-after-midnight]

I have a question which might sound quite idiotic but: has the poem "You Are Jeff" by Richard Siken been an influence on your story? Perhaps I am totally wrong but the theme of obsessive devotion to the point where one almost loses their sense of self from the poem reminded me a lot of the few things I have just seen from you.

Not an idiotic question at all. I actually had a similar thought when I read it - years after the draft of the story was completed. My Jeff, therefore, wasn't inspired by the poem, but he could have been. The first twin at the beginning of the poem could even be describing him (emphasis mine):

Both motorbikes are shiny red and both boys

have perfect teeth, dark hair, soft hands. The one in front will want to

take you apart, and slowly. His deft and stubby fingers searching every

shank and lock for weaknesses. You could love this boy with all your heart.

(Except my Jeff is a curly blonde and would be highly offended if his fingers were described as "stubby.")

I was also blown away in the section where Siken refers to "you" as "Jefferson," because that's also my Jeff's full name, and not the substantially more common Jeffrey.

So not an inspiration, but an incredibly cool coincidence. I do love the common theme. Certainly Gabriel - who had a poor and unstable sense of self to begin with - lost his sense of self in his toxic and misguided devotion to Jeff, and spends a large chunk of the story trying to build an identity for himself that doesn't revolve around his perceived role in Jeff's life. I think the real tragedy of the story is not so much in the fact that Jeff never loved Gabriel (he did, in part, "invent the monsters under the bed," but because Gabriel's emotions were a favorite game to him for a time, rather than out of any desire of his own for closeness), but the fact that Gabriel suffered and sacrificed so much for someone he never really knew or loved beyond his own misguided ideas of who Jeff was or should be.

Side note: The concept of the "monsters under the bed" is actually present and recurring in the story, funnily enough, only it has a very different meaning.

Thank you for giving me an excuse to revisit this poem!

[delicatefade]

For #talktometuesday I'm v curious to hear more about corrupt Eilan is that in a world where she follows Solas and helps him bring the Veil down or something else? I love hearing about Inquisitors who turn to the dark side 😈

Aha! The turn to the dark side is full of thrashing and self delusion. Quick world state catch up. It's close to canon-ish. Solas broke up with Eilan and left to pursue his goal of tearing down the Veil to restore the world to its rightful order. Eilan stayed on as Inquisitor. The Inquisition is now a direct military and ops vehicle of the Chantry lead by Leliana with Cassandra as her hand. The Inquisition's main target is Solas. tl;dr: If you're wondering what radicalizes her.... nothing? She never agrees with Solas philosophically about the Veil or why it needs to come down. But she is so singularly focused on staying in a relationship with him, so self-absorbed in her love, that she makes a series of small, compromised decisions. Each decision feels, in that moment, absolutely human and excusable. But ultimately those decisions culminate in her corruption because they make her his accomplice. And once the deed is done, she engages in a series of mental gymnastics to live with herself and with him and her transformation from a do-gooder to a villain is complete. The slightly longer explanation below: 👇

Eilan corruption arc. The story starts six months after Trespasser. Eilan and Solas were a couple and very much in love. She is convinced that if she could just find him and reason with him, he can be persuaded from his destructive path. She dreams about him, finds him that way (dream magic!) He's actually thrilled by this turn of events. For him, it represents the possibility that she might change her mind and join him. He also wants this to end with his lover Eilan at his side. What a dream! They both ignore the elephant in the room for a while, just enjoy being together and pretend they aren't at odds. But as he gets closer to his goal, she starts getting desperate and leaks some of his secrets to Dorian so that power players of Thedas can perhaps oppose Solas a little longer. But she never actually gives up any critical information that would help Solas' enemies stop Solas once and for all. That would be a step too far. Her heart isn't there. Dorian, and others, doubt Eilan's loyalties. She had said she is Team Modern Thedas, but her actions speak otherwise. Dorian in particular feels betrayed by her. 😟 Meanwhile she's arguing with Solas all the time, their relationship is frayed very badly, she acts out, but he will not be dissuaded. He is convinced she will prefer life as an elf without the Veil and their lives will be better. He is also hoping that removing the Veil will make all elves immortal again. Fingers crossed, vhenan!!! You and me forever!!! Finally, when Solas does take down the Veil, Eilan against all odds shows the fuck up and does have a way to stop his ritual. Bruh, it won't even kill or wound him. It is like, the perfect Solavellan gotcha: stop the ritual without hurting Solas? Wow, the dream. SHE STILL BACKS OFF!!!!! She's too in love to disappoint and hurt him (emotionally) this way, and will absolutely choose him over the world (as her friends had accurately accused!!!) Sure, she gives herself a little mental band-aid about it, she reasons her decision not to stop Solas from *checks notes* destroying civilization as millions of people know it is about, uh, "having faith in him." Nah, dawg, it's toxic, obsessive love. That story is completed and published. Comes in at just under 30k. Read it here -> https://archiveofourown.org/works/38774526/chapters/96954213 I am working on the sequel which covers the first 3 years after the Veil falls. The draft is currently at 65k words. In that fic, the consequences of the apocalypse are dire!! A little worse than Solas expected. You know. For consistency. Eilan, at first, is not coping well and says ugly things to Solas. But in order to cope, she has to compartmentalize. Also, she's essentially in the most privileged position in all of Thedas at that point, and shielded from most horrors.

Meanwhile we see Solas start to have doubts about his choices re: the Veil (both putting it up and taking it down). His self-doubts start to eat at him and it is Eilan who builds up his confidence again. She's a playwright and writes literal propaganda to retell history where Solas is the singular greatest Byronic hero of all time. She tells him that what he did was right and good. Does she actually believe that? Doesn't matter! And not really? Look, they need to live. Here's what she does start to believe: Some people just matter more to world history, you know? 😉 And her turn to villainy is complete without ever, even once, having a god damn point. She just wants her love. I might write a part 3 where we see Eilan at her happiest. She and Solas are married, have kids, and the ugly past feels distant. In that story they learn that actions have consequences and the misdeeds of the past catch up to them both.

[marypsue]

16 and 21 for the fic ask meme

[from this meme]

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

There are two possible times I come up with titles: either as soon as the premise lands in my head, or when I am staring down the draft on AO3 and about to post it. There is no in-between.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Here's my little secret: I don't delete anything anymore. Anything that doesn't work where I'm trying to put it gets copied and pasted into the very end of the document where the story lives, after about half a page of blank space from the last line of 'real' writing. Then I have it, preserved in amber, for if I get another twenty scenes in and realise that I need something and that thing that I cut out twenty scenes ago is exactly the thing I need.

(This happens more often than you might think. I completely cut about 2/3 of the final chapter of the road goes ever on, thinking I'd have to rewrite it from scratch. Nope! Just had to chop up those 2/3 of a chapter that I cut, rearrange it like a maniac with a corkboard and some red thread, and write a handful of interstitial sentences. And now it reads like it was always meant to be that way, and I can't even remember where all the stitches are. Ain't writing neat?)

To answer the spirit of this question and not the letter, though: yeah, all the time. Part of that is because I keep scenes that I cut, and if I really love them, I'll often find a way to work them in somewhere else (or into something else), so it doesn't feel like quite as much of a permanent sacrifice as it might. Part of that is because...well, have a story.

I'm a fresh baby adult. I have just recently graduated high school, and now the full weight of everyone's expectations of what I'll do with my 'potential' and everyone's disappointment that I don't have a clear, safe career path planned out yet are resting directly on my shoulders. I'm in a university art class. I'm very, very nervous, because I don't feel like a 'real' artist, because I don't feel like I belong here with all the good artists, and because I have a nervous perfectionist streak almost as wide as my entire body.

We are doing a unit on sculpture. I have never in my life done any sculpture, except for a couple of (extremely ugly) clay crafts in elementary school. We are assigned to take a rectangular block of styrofoam, and make an animal shape out of it. The kicker - we can't add anything to the block, only cut away.

I manage to make a reasonably decent-looking animal shape in my rough draft. But as soon as I try to translate it to the big block, it's immediately obvious that my design...lacks something. It's blocky. It's bulky. It's ugly. It looks...close to the shape of an actual animal, close to photorealism, but the fundamental rectangular-ness of it is so overwhelmingly strong. I'm carefully whittling away at the edges and the corners and the curves, scared to wreck it by making a big change, but nothing I do is helping at all.

Luckily, I have a very good art professor. Luckily, I have limited patience for fussing around with things that aren't working. (Luckily, I've been listening to MCR's Danger Days on repeat and it, especially the idea of 'Would you destroy something perfect to make something beautiful?', has been setting little fires in my brain.) Luckily, somehow, for whatever reason, I get fed up with nibbling around the edges and seeing no results. I get brave.

And I cut a deep curve into the side of my sculpture, cutting nearly half of the material away in one stroke.

The sculpture comes to life. The change is instant and obvious, and, more importantly, it's good. It's not anything resembling photorealistic anymore - if an actual animal was shaped like that, it would be very, very uncomfortable or possibly very dead - but it looks more like an animal than it ever did when I was going for 'realistic'. It has motion. It has visual interest. It carries the eye through the sculpture. And this massive improvement on the one side makes it suddenly extremely obvious where the rest of the sculpture needs similar cuts and angles to balance it.

I think I ended up getting a B or a C+ on that assignment. The sculpture turned out kind of wonky, with some angles that still didn't sit right. It was not a piece of timeless art. But that wasn't what was important. What was important was that I took a big risk, and got rid of what wasn't working, and it made something good. Something compelling. Something interesting. Something that, for all its flaws, I was much, much prouder of than the dull, safe thing I had been working on.

Sometimes, especially when you're just starting out as a writer, just starting to find your voice and feel confident in your work, every sentence feels precious and it feels dangerous to move or remove them, because what if you'll ruin it, what if you'll never make anything that good again. But if you're writing, it means you care enough about telling a story to try at it. Trying, and continuing to try, is how improvement happens. As Annie Dillard so beautifully put it, these things fill from behind. You will write something as good as that again. Many things, even. And even better things, so long as you keep plugging away at it.

And...you know your story. You know when something doesn't fit or isn't working, way deep down. The worst thing you can do for yourself is leave it where it doesn't belong anyway because you're scared of making a mistake.

[winter-spark]

Hiya friends, I'm having a writing predicament.

See I think just maybe my arranged royal marriage au might be too long. And mayhaps I need to break the chapters into their own stories and make the story a series.

Which is wild because the chapters were me trying to find the best places to split up the one shot that was getting too long. Plus that means that it might feel a little cheap to stop before the actual wedding.

But like let me explain why it might be too long. My first draft which was this 🤏🏾 close to being complete was a one-shot turned 3 shot, turned technically 4 because chapter 2 was split (chapters are named by "Acts" so chapters 2 and 3 are both Act II but Act II part 1 & part 2), then turned 5, then 6. It has about 35,988 words and again was incomplete(finished in my head.) But to put the chapter sizes in perspective, in my second draft, chapter one is currently 8,183 words. I'm still writing chapter two but I'm a third - halfway through it at 3,226 words. For comparison, the first two chapters of my tangled hs au are 3,926 and 4,601 words, chapter two being the longest of all the chapters I've written for it, chapter 9 the shortest at 2,899. Chapter 9 is not the end. With the way the story is going, there's still 4 (give or take one or so) chapters left.

Now that was a lot of words what am I saying? Well before I fully clarify, I love both stories. And I like reading both, and I have ideas still cultivating for both for my edits and conclusions. But it's easier to get in gear for the tangled hs one(I need less misleading nicknames for these). And I'm starting to think it's the way they're broken up. I think it's easier to get through thus easier to work on. See when I did draft two, draft one was a bunch of loosely connected scenes here and there (the beginning was solidly connected but as it went on the rest was just "oh I have an idea for a scene" several times some more attached together than others) so when doing draft two the hard part was making a calendar for the story and deciding when each event happened. Then I could just write the chapters like "this is day three so this thing needs to happen", and it's all heading to a conclusion and the chapters are complete chapters but they're largely built around small scenes I'd written, some things becoming a thing because "oh something needs to solidly get them to that point of their dynamic."

With the arranged marriage one, I started out solidly writing a story, each part in full, each part following the next, to the point that it visibly got too long to be a one-shot. With the tangled one, I was like oh to tie all this together this is gonna be too long to be a one shot, but with the arranged marriage fic I heard my sister in the back of my mind saying "some one shots are so long it's like okay you really could've cut that into chapters" or something along those lines as she told me before that she does feel like with some large one-shot there are clear good spots to cut it into chapters at and that it should be cut into chapters. So I thought, dang, this is probably one of those one-shots. I wasn't even done writing it I was on what became chapter three maybe now chapter four, thinking I'd be able to end it soonish but knowing it was long and needed that chapter split. So the division started up as large portions of the story. Then I went through to solidify them as solid chapters and fixing the pacing by adding more scenes to more clearly elaborate on the amount of time passing and what the characters were noticing. Which of course made the chapters longer.

Thus in editing and getting to the scene that's stuck in my head, it takes a minute while with the tangled hs au, revisiting rereading rewriting takes less time. I don't even think the arranged royal marriage one is a drag or anything but it's lengthy. In several aspects. So maybe leaning towards the bite-sized would make it easier.

However, I do have hesitance in doing that. See the thing is, it's a complete story. From chapter one to chapter 6. If I make them separate stories I have to work out if they standalone alright. Honestly, I think the first chapter would but Idk where to split it into chapters. And again how would I end the series? Like literally the last chapter is mostly wrap-up and fluff like idk if it can be its own standalone or if it would be a solid enough end to series rather than a single story. Like if I do this I'd have to probably expand it and I've already expanded it so much, it's so long.

On the other hand, if I do expand, like maybe I can throw in another perspective here or there as I do have thoughts on scenes that happened off-screen. I dunno though. But who knows how long it'll take if I do that. And I might have to give the others actual storylines. I mean like I could bring back the Izumi maybe having a crush on someone plotline that I scrapped because I was too indecisive but like that's a story rework lowkey? And another thing. I can't post a story until I'm done writing it but if it's a series would I be able to share the story as I go, as I finish individual works? Because finishing a whole series before posting any of it sounds like it'd take forever. But then I won't be able to go back and edit freely to make it flow better.

Oof. I don't know what to do.

[gravitywonagain]

If you're still doing the WIP game I'd like to hear about Under Streetlights

i am! i will always be doing this game! i love this game! sorry it took a month to get back to it! thank you for the ask <3<3<3

Under Streetlights is one of my babies :) it is a strange vibes, modern, magical-realism story in which lwj and wwx match on grindr while trying to pass the time in florida, thirteen years after wwx died. it is very loosely based on the song "3 Nights" by Dominic Fike -- like, super loosely. the name might change, i'm not sure yet, but if it does, it'll probably be to another lyric in that song.

it was actually my first attempt at writing from lwj's pov, and my first attempt at writing a story that swaps povs. it'll be 5 chapters long, the first 4 are fully drafted, the fifth is started, but i've been writing it for several years at this point, so that means almost nothing. i want it to be completely finished (at least drafted) before i post it.

the vibe of it is really fun for me, because it's this weird, off-kilter feeling, like being caught on the back foot in a daydream kind of thing. the first ch -- and the second one, too, actually -- have it, but the rest of it will need some editing to make it feel wrong in the right way. this lwj did not have the coping mechanism of dangerous and chaotic nighthunts, so he went with other things, namely anonymous sex and smoking tobacco. lwj smoking is a big part of this story, so be aware of that if it's a problem for you. it's okay, wwx doesn't like it either.

there's mentions of magic, but it's not a modern cultivation thing. it's a magic is real but rare and we all just kind of deal with that thing. still, full resurrection is pretty weird. it also gives almost no answers in terms of how or why wwx came back, but it does have some gruesome details of wwx waking up in his coffin.

i also have 9-box moodboards made for each chapter (except the last one because it's not even really plotted out yet, except for very major beats) which i started doing when i needed a break from words (meaning both wagbfm and just writing in general). so those will at least be posted here, if not embedded in the ao3 chapters when they go up!

okay, enough rambling. here's an excerpt!

His jaw is tight, sore from another night of clenching his teeth through the same nightmare. (Headlights. Shattered glass. Twisted metal. Blood. So much blood, and not enough. His chest heaves against the airbag that isn't there.)  The cigarette paper is thin against his lips as he takes another drag. He rolls them himself, buying tobacco and papers rather than red and white cartons full of convenience and plastic. He tells himself he likes the ritual of it. Mostly he just likes the flavor better.  When he lets himself -- when he can’t help himself -- he imagines--  Smoke rushes out with his breath and he squeezes his eyes shut. Skin pulls tight over his cheekbones until he relaxes, opens his eyes again. Inhales.  He imagines-- Wei Ying would have thought this was cooler. He can picture it so clearly: Wei Ying with his leather jacket and his roguish smile, hanging off Lan Zhan’s arm, watching the easy motions of Lan Zhan’s fingers, closing his lips around the filter, leaning in with flame flickering in his stormcloud-grey eyes as Lan Zhan cups the lighter and the paper begins to burn…  It’s an indulgence. One that makes his hands tremble.  Lan Zhan had always wanted to be cool to Wei Ying.

WIP Ask Game

[elismor]

For the writer's ask meme going around, 10, 15, and 44?

@seascribbling asked some good ones!

10. Cltf+f "blinks" in your WIP & copy past the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

Well. My WIP is hand-written so there is no find function available, but a visual scan of things tells me "blinks" is not in there. It's not a descriptor I tend to use, though now that it's in my head from this, it will probably show up somewhere unintentionally. ;)

15. How do your write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

Uh. With my eyes closed?

I don't tend to be very detailed, actually. I will sometimes actually close my eyes and picture what I think is happening, but I do not describe it when I write it down. I tend to reach for more sketches of description and focus instead on the feeling the action might provoke. It's completely personal--I don't tend to really like very detailed smut when I am reading it. Something always pulls me out of the moment-- a word choice (usually around body parts) can make me snort when I am supposed to be gasping and then I become aware of myself and the situation it gets sort of awkward for me.

What can I say? The Catholics did a real number on me.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

So. Full disclosure? I don't usually have things beta-ed anymore. Mostly because I am writing shorter things now and am pretty (perhaps overly) confident in my grasp of language and story. That said, I am 100% confident that a beta would tear their hair out in clumps at my use of the semicolon.

If I write longer fic again, I will definitely want a beta for consistency and internal continuity, as well as for the typical grammatical and spelling/word choice stuff. Longfic feels more...IDK...permanent? Serious? Worthy? Not sure.

I guess I feel like 1200 words is not that big of an investment on either my part or the reader's, so mistakes are more forgivable, but 30K is a whole other ballgame.

I DO tend to ask one or more trusted sources to read drafts when the fic comes really hard and I get in my head about it and the most common thing that gets pointed out to me is overly complex or long sentences. I think that's both a product of my style and the fact that those fics are the ones I am having trouble with. Never met a clause I didn't want to multiply by three and add an em dash to. ;)

If anyone else wants to play, the list of asks is here.