#I am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch
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When you’re trying to figure out ages and dates but William Zeppeli says that he’s being doing hamon training for like 20 years which implies that he had a family then left it to pursue hamon, but since Caesar was born in 1918 and I want Mario to have been around 30-40 when Caesar was born that would place Mario’s birthday in the 1878-1888 range, but that’s WAY to close to PB’s date for that to be real, so then I’d have to go back to William’s canonical birthday of 1838 and go up, so if I look at his history (according to the JoJo wiki) it says that 1858 is when his dad gets vampire-ified/dies and 1860 is when he starts learning hamon, that makes William 20-22 around this time, so the implication of “leaving his family to learn hamon” is wack because When Did This Happen William Anthonio Zeppeli???
UNLESS William got married while learning hamon, and left them to find Jonathan after getting his death prophecy, which would land Mario’s birthdate in the 1860-1878ish range (I am guesstimating so hard rn) which would make Mario about 58-40 when Caesar was born, not to mention his 4 other kids who we don’t know the birthdates of and he looks way too young for that during his death in Caesar’s teens, HOWEVER I guess hamon does make you look younger (see the 49/50 year old William in PB) which does raise the question of how old was Mario when he began his hamon training to have 5 kids??????
I’m having fun!
#I am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch#<- new tag for ramblings like this 👍#yeah sure I’ll main tag this#jjba part 1#jjba#jjba part 2#jojo bizarre adventure#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#william zeppeli#baron zeppeli#Mario zeppeli#caesar zeppeli
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How about some burningholysacrilege if you have time ^^
I am definitely not the person that came up with that ship trust /silly
I just had to do this one, but I didn't know how to tackle it, so I just drew a snippit of a long going rp I have going on.
I'm glad you started publicly shipping these 3, bc I've been privately shipping them for around the same time I've shipped FieryFaith, but I was too anxious to even draw them let alone share any art 👉🏾👈🏾
While I'm here lemme share some hcs I've accumulated throughout the duration of these 3 living in my head rent-free
Hcs under the cut
(TWO OF THE HCS ARE SUGGESTIVE, I will mark them so you can skip them)
1. Ignacio and Skiddad were a thing before Ignacio got together with Gregor. They were always an open relationship though, so both parties were free to explore and experiment with others. At the end of the day though they'd do their own independent things, they knew they would always be together. They belong together. They're soulmates. Bonded for eternity, and it didn't matter what would happen, they would always find their way back eachother.
2. The aforementioned point is why Gregor entering the picture was really confusing for Ignacio at first. Skiddad is the one. So how could there ever be another? In my hc Skiddad died for a brief period of time and then was resurrected. This period of time is when Ignacio got together with Gregor. After the whole enemies to lovers type shit happened, he was confused by how well he was treated— how at home he felt with Gregor. It was the same feeling of safety he got from being by Skiddad's side. Very confusing, especially during his time of grief. Eventually he caved to loneliness and fell into Gregor's warm embrace.
3. When Skiddad came back Ignacio felt overwhelming anxiety about the two meeting. You know what the cult does to priests. But Skiddad is much more composed as calculating than lower ranking members. He wouldn't kill Gregor, especially if his soul mate has feelings for him. He'd simply convert him instead. It may seem crazy, but indoctrination is a slow process to begin with, and I hc that Skiddad also has a Christian background before the cult. With coming from the same systems of beliefs, and having the same interest in Ignacio's health and safety, conversion would be a cinch. He doesn't mind Gregor being a permanent addition to the relationship if it makes Ignacio happy.
okay now onto some some lighter hcs
4. Ignacio gets smothered with affection from both Skiddad and Gregor.
5. Gregor is probably the only person who could ever fluster Skiddad. Unprompted and genuine kindness is not something he's used to. Skiddad slowly becomes aware of why Ignacio likes his priest so much.
6. (SUGGESTIVE) Skiddad has definitely gotten a kick out of teasingly calling Gregor "father". Gregor praying that he don't go to hell good lord.
7. (SUGGESTIVE) Skiddad- Top | Ignacio- Switch | Gregor- Bottom/Service Top, and that's that on that ✋🏾
8. Skiddad tries to relate to Gregor a lot under the guise of "being a pastor too," which he's trying to use to desensitize him to the idea of the cult.
9. Skiddad and Gregor were both raised in a chruch
10. Skiddad and Gregor both speak Latin
11. Skiddad and Ignacio both speak Spanish
12. English is Skiddad's third language
13. Skiddad calls Ignacio "starlight" and Gregor "Amate" (love). Gregor calls Ignacio "Spitfire" and Skiddad "angel eyes". Ignacio is too embarrassed to call either anything besides basic terms of endearment NDNDNDN
Ok lemme end there, there's more but I've written literally so much.
#spooky month#spooky month sr pelo#sr pelo spooky month#skiddad#skiddad spooky month#ignacio#ignacio spooky month#father gregor#father gregor spooky month#burningholysacrilige#my art#ask#doodle reqs
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20 questions for fic writers, J7 edition
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 15
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 90,585
3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Trek, mostly Voyager, some cross-over into Picard and TNG.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Four times she denies you and the one time she doesn't. What happens if our ladies have their shit together and mutual attraction trumps stupid little issues, like Starships to run.
Slowly, then all at once a collection of moments, big and small, painting the picture of two women, learning and growing together, falling for each other slowly, then all at once.
Things that Fall What happens from the first time your heart feels full until you finally let yourself fall? An exploration in 12 vignettes.
The Space in Between Seven is a precious baby-queer, Kathryn is in denial, B'Elanna is the friend we all need (and a fun play-mate to Kathryn).
I'm a little tied up right now My attempt at rectifying the severe lack of prehensile-plant fics in the J7 fandom...
5. Do you respond to comments? Sometimes, when I don't get too in my head about how to respond...
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hands down definitely They're In Love, Where Am I?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics have a happy ending... For finished fics I think I'd go with autumn is a second spring, including WIPs I think home is a moment in time has the most momentous happy ending so far.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Depends on the what the story needs - sometimes soft and emotional, but I also have some more kinky BDSM fics. And sometimes they mix, just like in real life...
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Within the Star Trek universe, yes (ask me about the polycule, I dare you!). Not crazy by any standards, but a fun little drabble has the biggest crossover: Come to Quarks, Quarks is Fun (...they said)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of...
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, I don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, not yet.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? NCC-1701 will always be my first love, but Voyager is hot af. (half-kidding. It's J7. Hands down.)
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The Janeway & Riker Chronicles. In my mind he hit on her once and got bitchslapped so hard he worships her to this day. They end up being thick as thieves and getting into all kinds of trouble with each other. There's traces of this in some of my fics, but I doubt I'll ever actually write it.
16. What are your writing strengths? Flow, emotionality, little details, switching POVs
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Brevity, Punctuation, getting lost in the characters' mental space too much
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Sure, why not. But not if you can't speak the language/have someone to help with translation.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Star Trek Voyager | Janeway/Seven
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I think I'll always be especially fond of my first one (Things that Fall) and the most recent one - just because the idea wouldn't let me go for three years (home is a moment in time) - but I Will Follow Where You Lead has a special place in my heart - because of the challenge of it and the fact that it started a new relationship tag.
Tagging: Thank you for the tag, @curator-on-ao3! If you see this, consider yourself tagged - because I just know I probably forgot to tag someone. Also, to the amazing writers I got to meet here: @moonxshape @jennyandvastraflint @femslash-universe @notdeannatroi @queenology @katerinadeannika @waknatious @stardatextoday @problematick @captainkatie42 @angstbotfic @ussjellyfish @evilwickedme
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i am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch crazy going slowly am i 6 5 4 3 2 1 switch
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Keys Of Destiny Series: Taking A Pool Dive
Part 1 - 2
A new client walks in a young guy must be a teenager with a smile on his face he asks for me.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes please”
“I need …. Um”
“The Free Will Spell”
“Here you go”
“How did you know? I “
“It’s on the house”
“Thank you sir!”
“Use this piece paper, chant the spell and then burn it.”
He is all glowing with excitement over his body, he pays me for it anyway skipping from the room, and heads home.
He opens the door racing up the staircase in a hurry closing the door, he settle at his own desk unpacking the bag, and lites the candle.
He starts to feel faint, sleepy as hell, his face falter with closing and eyes he is now
in a trance.
“He said to read the spell”
“I cast this spell to undo my pain relinquish me forever.”
“Undo the ties that bind us and free all else”
“Connect Jack to me and me to Jack”
“Switch us around in to the sky “
“Swirling up and down in the midst of the night”
“My spirit to his and his to mine”
“Body to body “
“Swift in one time “
“His life is mine and my life is”
“Relieve us both “
Part 3 - 4
His body becomes hard as rock, head hits the top of the chair and his body leans back.
His spirit leaves his body floating out of his zone in to a familiar, back at the shop I own he is surprised to see me and he drops to the ground.
“I am back here”
“Why you ask?”
“Do you truly need this?”
“I want this so much”
“I grant you this”
“Close your eyes “
“Your new life commences now”
“Wait! What?”
“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh”
The floor opens up under him forcing him my boy into the whole as he is free falling in a pit.
Images of his life flash back in front of him once more he sees his father and the pool boy.
They are bullying him nonsensically over the test of time his grudge for them grows ever more.
“Bloody hell”
“I hate them”
“Fuck them all”
“Do you want to merge?”
“YES!”
“My dad is asshole”
“I want to make that exchange “
“Very well!”
“When you next awake you will be a full adult with your fathers life and your pool boy your boyfriend.”
“I am in agreement “
“Take a deep breath”
“Yyyyyeeeeesssss”
“Woah! Wake up boss”
“Ah! What the hell?”
“You are safe and sound babe”
“I love you “
Part 5 - 6
His father Mark Snowell is literally in a panic hanging to the wall like a cat on guard for a attack.
He has no idea about the excitement his son has made, he has no idea who his sons is pt why he is here so I can commiserate on some level.
“You can calm down “
“Don’t tell me what to do”
“Or else what?”
“I will end you”
“How will that go?”
“No weapons”
“Nowhere to go”
I clap my hands loudly setting the trigger for the walls start contract slowly ripping apart.
The floor spins revealing new void of power in the room, he sits tied up on a coach and all hood.
The anger in his eyes, the rage on his face and the fear I can smell the sweat from him.
“Who am I? What the hell happens to me?”
“You are Mark Snow”
“I am your Master”
“Yes, Master Lawrence “
“You will become apart of this home now”
“I am one with the house”
Part 7 - 8
He stood face to face with me I call both of slaves to stand in my place.
Stomping my feet to small pools shoot into the sky and inject him.
They freak out into a crazy frenzy bodies are flailing everywhere.
“Please Help Me!”
“Shut up fucker!”
“Yes Sir”
“Will you two serve me?”
“With out lives”
“Kneel before me”
“You should be in love with me”
“We are”
“I could careless”
“We descend with gracious hearts”
“You are the king”
“The only one”
“Our God”
“The Master”
“Sir Yes Sir”
The end
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Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 2
Rise of the Demon King
Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence.
AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Previously:
“Alright. Sorry, Solomon, I’ll see you tonight right?”
“Of course. See you tonight.”
With that, he said his goodbyes to both Barbatos and I, then left. I took a deep breath and followed Barb into the palace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 2 - Meeting the King (1,626 words)
“Barb?”
“Yes?”
“Why does the king want to see me?”
“Honestly I’m not sure..”
“Umm, what’s he like? I’m a little scared of meeting him.”
Barbatos turns to me cupping my cheek gently as if to reassure me.
“Honestly, he looks scarier than he really is. You don’t have any reason to be nervous. He may not be like Lord Diavolo but all he requires is for you to be respectful. I have the utmost confidence that you will be just fine. It’s not just you by yourself either, the brothers, as well as my Lord and I, will also be present.”
“Thank you Barb” I gently leaned into his hand cupping it with my own.
“As long as the rest of you are with me, I’ll be fine.” A small smile formed on my face as he let go and continued walking. We stopped in front of the west sitting room. After knocking twice Barbatos let us in. The king sat on a raised dais. Diavolo was kneeling on a cushion to his right. Lucifer was on his right with the brothers sitting in accordance to their rank with a spot free in the center. Not really knowing what to do, I decided to bow from the waist and address the king.
“Your Highness”
“Sit”
“Thank you your Highness” I walked over and knelt down mimicking the brothers' postures best I could with my gaze respectfully lowered as the king began speaking.
“Y/N, correct?”
“Yes my king.”
“I have heard a great deal about you from both my son and his Lords. Tell me Y/N, what makes you, a human with little talent for magic so special?”
Taking a breath, I thought about it for a little. Thought about how the brothers were when we first met. How overtime each one of them started to warm up to me. I thought about Mammon and the schemes we pulled off together. The all-nighters Levi and I would pull when he found a new game or anime to binge. The countless hours I would spend reading with Satan and the book talks we had afterwards. The spa days I’d have with Asmo. The number of times I’d try to stop Beel from raiding the fridge only to join him instead. The strange places I’d find Belphie napping and trying to get him to move, only to end up being pulled down and start napping alongside him. The endless genuinely terrible but always-proved-to-be-a-fun-time ideas I humoured Dia with. The times where Barb would make time to teach me how to make different Devildom desserts. How Lu started out being so cold. Only caring about me because I was Diavolo’s exchange student. Now though, he learned to accept me into his family. The late-night talks we had in his study, watching the fire and talking about everything and nothing. Our time to unwind. Away from his brothers. Away from Diavolo’s crazy ideas. Away from our responsibilities. Just Lucifer the demon and me, Y/N, the human who managed to wind their way into the hearts of 9 of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. Meeting the eyes of each of the demons in the room, I turned to the king.
“I’m not. I’m not special because of any abilities that I may have, or how strong I am as the weaker species. I’m nothing more than a human who was thrust into the world of demons, over time connecting with them and accepting them as the demons they are. As a family I never had and over time, they accepted me as well. Not as a weak human, but as the human that accepted them not for their status or power but for their personalities and love for each other. I’m not special, I just accepted them for who they are, flaws and all.” After I finished speaking I looked at each of the brothers noticing that some of them had tears in their eyes. Asmo who was seated next to me threw his arms around my shoulders in a hug. Dia looked so happy I thought he’d jump up and hug me at any moment, and Barb had the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on him. I then turned back to the king.
“It seems you’ve made quite the impact here during your short time in the Devildom. I can’t say I approve of my strongest demons turning soft for a human, although it seems I can’t do much about that seeing as how you are pacted with 7 of them correct?” The king questioned with a hard look in his eyes.
“Y-yes that is true. I have made pacts with the 7 brothers.” I replied tentatively. At once, the atmosphere in the room seemed to change. The temperature dropped and the king was emitting a very strong aura. Had I not been used to Lucifers or Diavolo's aura’s whenever they would get upset I might have fainted from the king’s. Instead, I just felt a cold shiver and the gravity alter ever so slightly. Looking at the brothers, I realized they all had a look between fear and dread for what might happen next.
“Tell me Y/N, why should I allow you, a mere human to hold such power over 7 of my most powerful demons?”
“Father, there is no need for this. Those pacts were made with the consent of the brothers. They weren’t forced into them and Y/N has never abused them. They serve as protection for them and the symbol of a deep bond between them and the brothers. There isn’t a reason to -”
“Silence Diavolo. I have humoured you by allowing this program of yours. However, we are still demons. It doesn’t matter how things are now, humans have no place here nor do they have a right to hold this much power over this many powerful individuals. It doesn’t matter to me how close this human is to you or the Lords. In my eyes, the power they have pose a threat to the crown and the Devildom. I did not raise you to be soft hearted to something so weak!”
My face paled and I started feeling lightheaded at the implications of the king's words. Diavolo visibly winced at those words. Asmo held onto my hand a little tighter and before the king could continue, Mammon spoke up with a look of disdain on his face.
“With all due respect your Highness, none of that is true! Y/N may just be a human but that doesn’t mean they're a threat!” Lucifer immediately interjected, reeling Mammon in trying to save his brother before he dug the hole even deeper.
“My apologies your Highness. Mammon can get quite protective over Y/N. I assure you he won’t speak out of turn again.” The king narrowed his eyes at Lucifer then Mammon as if he was debating whether or whether not to punish them both here and now. Eventually, he turned back to me.
“Your pacts with the brothers will be dissolved and you will not be allowed back into the Devildom. I am showing you mercy and allowing you to keep one pact as the brothers have claimed your soul and they are entitled to at least that much. Be grateful that I’m allowing you to leave with your life at all.” He stared right through me as he said those words watching my expression change with his words. It’s as if a switch got flipped and every brother lost it while Diavolo and Barbatos looked at the scene then each other in what can only be described as impending horror.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”
“WE MADE THOSE PACTS, YOU CAN’T TAKE THEM AWAY!”
“THEY CAN’T LEAVE!”
“NO WAY!”
Each of the brothers save for Lucifer who’s also looking at the scene in shock started yelling out trying to protect me.
“My Liege, the bonds we made with Y/N were our choice and we trust them with it. They have helped all of us time and time again. We cannot ju-”
“Enough” I activated my pacts and silenced him and the rest of the brothers with a whisper. I looked directly into the king's eyes.
“I won’t be dissolving my pacts. They were forged out of love and loyalty. I will not let them go unless they do first. They may be your Lords but they are my family. I will not be leaving them nor will I choose one over the rest. These bonds are our choice and not once have I ever abused them. It is as Lord Diavolo said, they represent the deep bonds I have made with each of them and no one can get rid of them!” I stared at the king with the most hardened gaze I could muster as I protected the brothers. “They are my family and you can not separate us!”
“Y/N…” Asmo said in disbelief as he wrapped his arms around me burying his face into my neck as the rest of the brothers slowly made their way over to me.
“Y/N is right. They became a part of our family. The pacts symbolize our deep bonds, ones that we will never break.” Satan said calmly though anyone who knew him would know he was anything but. The king smiled though it was anything but comforting as he slowly stood. Diavolo and Barbatos slowly backed up in shock.
“It seems you 7 forgot that you don’t dictate what goes on here. You are but a guest to the Devildom and the Sins, my subjects. MAKE NO MISTAKE! I AM YOUR KING AND YOU LOT ARE NOTHING!”
#obey me: one master to rule them all#obey me#obey me x reader#lucifer x reader#obey me lucifer#mammon x reader#obey me mammon#leviathan x reader#obey me leviathan#satan x reader#obey me satan#asmodeus x reader#obey me asmodeus#beelzebub x reader#obey me beelzebub#belphegor x reader#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me demon king#multi chapter fic#ao3 crosspost
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I am slowly going crazy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, switch. Crazy going slowly am I 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, switch.
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Playing House - Part 6
The madness continues as the Reader wakes up Sunday morning, ready to figure out how to find balance in the new facts of her love life!
Catch up: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 (you can also find the whole thing on ao3)
Words: 4974 and most of them explicit
Would it really be like Ivar said? Now that the thrall game is in full effect, will these boys really be giving it to you at all hours of the day? A montage of images flash through your mind: you’re sweeping the floor until Ubbe drags you to the couch. You’ve just gotten back up on shaky legs when Ivar appears, handcuffs dangling from his finger. Ubbe soothing your wrists later while slipping himself inside one more time. The chores keep getting done, barely, but your clothes are never fully on anymore.
Just thinking about it, the warmth between your legs makes you shift positions. How can you be this wet again already? In the past two days, you’ve gotten more action than you’d had in . . . well . . . longer than you want to say. Your pussy shouldn’t be throbbing with need like this. It’s not neglected at all. You should be overwhelmed, really, given everything that’s happened. Instead, here you are, like a sailor on shore leave, horny as fuck at nine in the morning just dreaming of which of these two Lothbroks is going to put their hands on you next.
You’ve always been the first one up in the morning, at least on weekends. Especially since you’ve got brunch with your family today. You slipped out from under Ivar’s arm when your alarm went off, not wanting to disturb him by hitting the snooze. Your morning routine starts with a cup of coffee on the couch while you finish waking up. You’ve got your knees curled up under a blanket, phone in hand, although you’re mostly just daydreaming. You’ve probably already sat here just a little bit too long. You’re trying to make yourself get up and get ready for the day when Ubbe lumbers into the room.
“Morning, beautiful.” Sporting an adorable bedhead and a sleepy grin when he sees you curled up against the arm of the couch, Ubbe makes himself right at home under the other end of your blanket. You’re about to move your legs and give him room, but he spoons himself around your hip and stops your retreat with a strong hand on your thigh. “Is that coffee?” He wraps his fingers around the mug in your hand.
“There’s more in the pot.”
“But this is right here.” He takes a long sip from your mug, with your fingers trapped underneath his. Icy blue eyes sparkle at you from behind the rim. He makes a satisfied sound when he releases it.
You huff and pull it away from him. Ivar is hard to talk back to; you feel more of an urge for it with Ubbe. “This one’s mine, get your own!”
Ubbe just smiles and scoots in closer. “Fine by me. I like a different kind of pick-me-up in the morning, anyway.” He drops his head and nuzzles into your neck, his close-cropped beard tickling pleasantly as he mouths over your skin.
Oh. His body scoops even closer around the back of yours, his hands running up and down your pajama-clad form. You set the coffee cup down.
This may have started out with a lazy Sunday vibe, but Ubbe’s stroking hands find their way quite quickly underneath your clothing. With one hand scooping around your breast and the other diving between your thighs, he his not wasting time this morning. When you part your legs his finger slides so, so easily through your swollen folds. You’re so wet it’s almost embarrassing. “You needed me, didn’t you,” he murmurs in your ear. “You’ve got a pussy that always wants to be filled.”
He plunges in, finding his way so fast and slick that he immediately switches to two fingers, pressing as deep as he can before pulling out more slowly, teasing at your g-spot while you writhe back against him.
There’s mischief in his eyes when you look up. He’s still in control of himself, while you are devolving into a panting mess already. He stares down at you while his fingers piston and you squirm underneath him.
“How much trouble would you be in if he came out right now.”
Your eyes roll over to the dim hallway. As far as you know, Ivar’s not awake yet.
Ubbe twists his fingers, hitting you deeper, more deliciously. “Hm?”
“I—I don’t know,” you gasp, closing your eyes and focusing on cumming before you have to find out.
“Think he’d mark you up again?” Something in Ubbe’s voice makes you look up; his gaze is heated, blazing with that icy fire only his pale eyes can get. “I like thinking about that. More welts in your perfect skin because of me.”
“You want to put some there yourself?” You can barely believe you said it, but you’re just dying to know how kinky Ubbe can really get.
His fingers slow. His other hand curls into your hair. “How much time before you have to go to that brunch?”
“Shit.”
His chuckle is deep and rich. “Is being late an option?”
Disappointment loosens the coil that’s been winding up at your center. “Not really.”
His heavenly fingers retreat. Your pussy is still as needy as ever. “Then you’d better get that sweet ass up. We keep going right now, I’m gonna make your legs stop working.” He gives your butt a lazy, dismissive slap. “But I’m coming for this thing as soon as you get back. I hope you don’t have any plans the rest of the day.”
* * *
You fumble the keys a little on your way back into the apartment. Ubbe’s more than likely to follow through on his promise, and you’ve got the distinct feeling of entering a predator’s lair now, rather than your own apartment. The only thing that might stop him would be if Ivar were also in there, but then he’d probably be the one taking you back to his room to do something even more intense. It’s enough to soak a girl’s panties before anyone’s even touched her.
Everything looks normal when you open the door. No one in sight. You laugh at yourself a little for the apprehension. What, did you think that Ubbe was waiting in the living room to pounce on you? You set your purse down and grab a glass of water from the kitchen.
“Is that you, Y/N?” Ubbe calls from his bedroom.
“Yeah, hey.”
“Hey,” he says back, matching your casual tone. “Bring me a beer when you get a chance?”
You grab two. The first room down the hallway is Ivar’s. A little thrill creeps up the back of your neck as you pass his open door, but he doesn’t seem to be inside. While you love the ways he’s been claiming you, it’s equally exciting to think that he won’t be stopping you from going to Ubbe this time. On a sudden impulse, you duck into your own room before making it all the way to the last door. From the look of the flickering lights reflecting through the Ubbe’s doorway, he’s playing a video game in there. You decide there’s no rush to join him, and maybe you want to be wearing something a little sexier when you do.
You’ve got this red bra with a matching thong. Satin, with lacy edgings. Not really something you’d want to wear all day, but perfect to slip into now, when there’s basically a 99.9% possibility that they’re going to be peeled off your body within a few minutes. You consider strutting into Ubbe’s room wearing nothing but that, see what kind of cartoon wolf face he makes, but ultimately decide that you’re not going to make this so easy on him. You’ll go in casual, in your regular t-shirt and shorts, and let him make the first move.
When you open your door, Ubbe’s already looming in his, one arm up against the doorframe like he was prepared to be waiting a long time for you. His eyes are wolfish indeed, even without any lingerie to look at. He reaches out one hand. “That mine?”
You’re still carrying two beers. You hand him one, and he brings it to his lips without moving from the doorway.
He looks you up and down. “I thought you were changing in there.”
You shift your weight. “I did.”
“Isn’t that what you were wearing when you left?”
You just nod.
His eyes flick down your body again. He steps forward, reaches his hand up to your shoulder. You stay still, watching his face as he hooks one finger in your collar and pulls the shirt to the side until he can see the bright red, lacy strap hiding underneath. He smiles. “Alright, Little Red.”
You cock an eyebrow. “What does that make you, the Big Bad Wolf?”
Ubbe’s smile is dark. “Oh, Ubbe. What a big dick you have.”
You suppress a giggle. Definitely can’t argue with that. You look back down the hallway. “Ivar’s not here?”
He shakes his head. “Shopping. Said he’d be gone for a while.”
“Oh.”
Ubbe angles his body a little further into the room. “Wanna come in?”
“What happens if I do?”
His smile is dark and full of promises. “I’ll show you what I can do when I actually have room to work.”
The assault you had been expecting earlier comes just about as soon as you set foot across his threshold. You get a brief glimpse of rumpled bed, soda cans stacked around a glowing monitor on a racing game’s menu screen, and clothes littering the floor before Ubbe grasps you by the back of the neck, slams the door shut behind you, and presses your back into it.
“What is it about you,” he murmurs between kisses. “Last night was one of the hottest things I’ve ever done.” His teeth scrape against the bottom of your jaw. “And yet here I am, still as fucking hot for you as if I hadn’t been laid in months.”
He’s tugging your shirt off already. Your heart is racing like crazy; you let him take the bottle out of your hands, lift your arms, and give into it. So much for making him work for anything.
A guttural sound comes out of his throat when he sees the way your tits are served up in red lace. He wraps his arms around you and lifts you up against the wall.
You squeeze your legs around him tight as he hitches you up high enough to balance that way for a while. He buries his face in your chest. Lips drag across skin and lace, sloppy and wild. He shifts the angle of his hips and something hard is digging right into the center of your needy pussy. It might just be his belt buckle but whatever it is feels fucking good. You buck your hips against it, clutching at the back of his neck, scraping your fingers through his close-cropped hair.
With another rich, low groan, Ubbe pulls you tight against him and rotates away from the wall, carrying you several steps to his bed before throwing you down. He’s definitely intent on showing off. His knees press between your legs as you recline back and envelop yourself in the scent of his sheets.
One arm flexing quickly behind his head snaps his t-shirt off, revealing the broad chest he works so hard on at the gym. A light dusting of hair adds interest to his chiseled pecs. The action has pulled a fringe of his perpetually messy, dirty blonde hair down toward his eyes as he takes a half a second just to gaze at you on your back beneath him in his bed. His smile is proud and hungry, and then he drops down to cover you.
Not that the car sex wasn’t hot. Or the wild makeout sesh up against the brick wall outside that party. But there’s really nothing better than being able to stretch out and entwine your limbs like this, to feel the weight of his body on top of yours as he embraces you in devouring need.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket with a text message notification. Your first thought is Ivar, and you wriggle under Ubbe to get it out before you’ve even fully made the decision to do so. You break your lips away from his face just far enough to check out the screen.
It’s a message from Lauren. I can’t believe you haven’t called me yet. Ubbe?! You owe me the tea!
Your lips quirk in a quick smile.
“Who’s that,” Ubbe asks.
“Just my friend Lauren.” Pushing the button to turn the screen off, you twist up to set the phone on the nightstand.
“From last night?”
“Yeah. She wants to know what happened after I went home with you.”
Ubbe smirks. “Not going to be able to explain that in a text message.”
“No.”
“Well,” he says, running one hand up your thigh, heading for the waistband of your shorts, “since you haven’t released any reviews on me yet, how about I give you a little bit more to talk about.” He slides down your body, taking your shorts down with him.
You take a deep breath as he strips your legs bare and settles in between them. His fingers curl around the straps of the red thong, his breath hot against your lower belly as he teases the top of your panty line.
“Can’t do this in a car,” he murmurs, and rubs his nose along the crease of your thigh, nudging your legs wider apart for him. His fingers dance along the satin, tracing over your mound and following the strip of fabric as it narrows down and down between your thighs. “You put this on just for me?”
“Uh-huh,” you moan as he loops a finger under the side strap and snaps it.
“Did you soak the first pair through just thinking about what I was going to do to you when you got home?”
You say yes, of course you do.
Ubbe’s fingertip sneaks under the elastic hem right at your center, dragging moisture up from your core and around your swollen clit. “Now where did I leave off this morning…?”
“Two fingers in,” you recall helpfully.
Ubbe obliges. You weren’t quite as wet as you thought, but the friction feels good, the slight forcing of his way erotic as you give yourself over to this beast for the fourth time in . . . fuck, less than 24 hours. How is it that you still don’t feel like you’ve had enough? He drags in and out slowly, then uses his other hand to pull the fabric of the panties as far to the side as they’ll go. His warm breath hits your exposed clit as he repositions his body, then his lips close over you and everything is hot and slick and entirely his.
Ubbe clearly loves the pussy. He licks you broad and firm and thoroughly, and when you look down his eyes are closed like he’s savoring his favorite meal. Two fingers are still inside you and he works them in perfect tandem with his tongue. His pace is unhurried, somehow exuding a confidence that’s tightening the coil inside you faster than if he had actually been trying to get you off quickly. He makes happy little sounds as he eats you, and pushes his fingers in deeper.
You clutch at his hair, your legs twitching and writhing oddly as you try and control the uncontrollable. His tongue settles into a steady rhythm, batting across your clit in time with the curling of his fingers from the inside.
“Ubbe,” you wail, voice tight with the coming storm.
“Already?” he laughs, but his fingers don’t miss a beat. “I love it, princess, don’t hold back. I’m gonna make you cum so many times that you can’t think straight anymore.”
Then he latches back onto your clit and sends you spiraling up to the heavens. You can actually feel your body clenching and pulsing around his fingers as you come wailing through clenched teeth. His rhythm slows to gentle rocking as your consciousness floats back down, but he never entirely stops. Dreamy, you chase aftershock after aftershock, fucking yourself softly over his hand, until you realize you’re actually revving up to come a second time.
This seems to be his plan. “You close enough to cum again now,” he lifts his head from your clit to ask softly, “or do I have time to get in there first?”
Fuck. The very idea of Ubbe’s big dick pressing in between your still-shuddering walls is almost enough to make you blow again right now, but you manage to breathe out a quick “give it to me” as you try to hold on for him.
He climbs up the bed to the nightstand, fishing for a condom. You scoot yourself up a little higher too, getting comfy against the pillows and slipping off the twisted thong with shaky limbs. He tears the wrapper with his teeth and smooths the rubber down over his bobbing erection.
Your phone starts to ring. Ivar’s face appears on the glowing screen, and you both just stare at it for a moment.
Ubbe reaches out.
“What are you doing?”
His eyes are sparkling as he scoops up your phone. “If Ivar needs something, you should answer him.” He drags his thumb across the green icon to accept the call.
You suppress an outraged gasp as the naked, condomed Ubbe kneels between your legs while reaching up to press the phone against your ear. “H-hey Ivar.” You hold it up with both hands and do your best to sound completely normal.
“I was thinking of picking up Thai food on my way home,” Ivar says without preamble. Ubbe wraps one big hand under each of your thighs, spreading you wider. “Do you want me to get something for you?”
“Uh, yeah,” you say, realizing too late that you’d probably have to talk less if you had said no.
Ubbe’s got one hand on his dick, and you watch almost in horror as he lines that thing up to slide into your soaked and throbbing pussy right the fuck now.
No way in hell you’re stopping him, though. Walking the line like this is turning you on as much as him.
“Whaaat do you want me to get you?” Ivar asks, dragging out the first syllable in unspoken query about your prolonged silence.
You desperately try and remember the name of any dish they might serve at a Thai restaurant as you feel Ubbe’s blunt head prodding against your entrance. “Pad—pad see… the one with the thin little noodles.”
“Pad Wun Sen,” Ivar corrects you, right as Ubbe presses on home.
It wouldn’t be so difficult to sound normal if Ubbe just weren’t so damned thick. The stretch of him all at once takes the breath out of you, so as you try to answer Ivar in the affirmative you end up sounding way too much like a porn actress with the high-pitched “yeah!” that squeals out of your lungs. You fake a cough to cover it, also an unconvincing sound as Ubbe grinds his hips tightly against yours, and try again. “Yeah, that’s the one.” He slides out slowly. The thick, dark, self-satisfied grin spreading across his face is making Ubbe Lothbrok look like evil incarnate above you as he shoves himself back in with a second merciless thrust. At least you kept your mouth closed for that one, only trying to speak once he’s sunken in to the hilt. “I never seem to remember that name.” The deep, aching stretch of him makes it so hard not to moan, but you think your voice sounds more normal that time.
“What are you doing right now, pet?” You wish you could see Ivar’s face, because he sounds like he’s laughing at you while trying to pretend that he’s not.
“Um, nothing. I just slipped a little.”
Ubbe slips himself out of you, chuckling silently.
“Slipped how?”
You try to close your legs before he can slam into you again, but Ubbe catches your knee and you can’t quite lock him out. “I’m, uh,” you grunt at the struggle, “just mopping the floor.”
“Ah. Yes. You must have found something absolutely filthy, I can hear how hard you’re working. Did you get a little bit too wet?”
You don’t fight Ubbe very hard, but it’s fun to make him pry your legs apart before he can sink himself in again. Besides, feeling the strength of his arms is turning you on, and you’ll take any excuse to get it a little rough. “Yeah, think so.” Ubbe’s cock proves unescapable, jamming back into you again before you can think of anything more clever to say back to Ivar. With that many puns, he has to know exactly what’s going on. And teasing you mercilessly. But if you drop the façade, does it count as Ivar “catching you?” You’d better play it safe and keep pretending, no matter how poor a job you’re doing of it.
“Meat?” Ivar says.
“What?” You feel like you’re really starting to lose the battle as Ubbe pulls your legs up around his hips and starts fucking you deep, with a steady, sensuous rhythm.
“What’s your choice of meat.”
“Oh, uh, chicken.” Each one of those breathy words was punctuated by a thrust that fills you achingly to the brim.
“Alright.” Is that rich, thick amusement you’re hearing in Ivar’s voice? You hold your breath and try to listen. “Anything else? Maybe something for Ubbe?”
You meet those icy blue eyes, helplessly torn between your need to get this conversation over with, and the submissive desire to make sure your man isn’t left without any dinner. What would a good little thrall do? “Hey Ubbe,” you say, trying to make it sound like you’re talking to someone across the room and not inches away from your face. “Want something from the Thai restaurant?”
Ubbe shakes his head, grinning before he bites his lip and thrusts into you deeper.
“Nope,” you chirp to Ivar. You think about the heavenly treatment your pussy got so recently and add: “He already ate.” You feel yourself clench around him as another wave of arousal hits you at the memory.
“Ah,” Ivar says. “Enjoy the rest of your cleaning, then. Make sure you do it nice and deep, for me. And I expect you to be finished by the time I return. I’m ordering now, and I’ll be home with hot food as soon as it’s ready.”
Ubbe’s stuffing you so good you want to screech through your teeth, but you manage to keep your voice sounding human enough to end the call. “Thanks!”
You turn off the phone and resist the urge to throw it across the room. You let yourself have one long, loud, lusty groan to blow off the tension, then you start slapping at Ubbe with both hands. “Bastard! What the fuck was that?”
His cock slides out of you in the struggle, but he catches your arms quickly enough, grinning down into your face. “Super fucking hot, is what it was.”
You just might happen to agree, but you still want to fight. You shove him away from you, getting up onto your knees for more leverage to slap at him some more.
Ubbe detects the playfulness in your aggression and meets it with a growl and a grappler’s grip on your upper arms. You wiggle and struggle and even pretend to bite him until he’s had enough. Suddenly he’s got you flipped around on your stomach, face pressing into the mattress as he climbs onto your back. “Biting me? You think you can get away with that?” His jaws close over the fleshy part of your shoulder.
It’s a love bite, really, not anything meant to hurt, but the savage edge to his voice really sold it and you squirm in excitement underneath him.
“Like that, do you? Dirty girl.” He keeps you held down with one hand in the center of your back and slides down to close his teeth over your flank. Much harder this time. “You’re too fucking wild.” He growls like a beast when you try to squirm away. “Oh no I’m not done with you.” His lips travel to the swell of your ass, where he bites down so hard that you squeal.
When he releases his jaws you almost get away from him. He has to swing most of his body back over yours to ride you back down to the mattress.
He nips at your ear in a primal signal to stay still. “You want it rough, I can give you rough.” You feel his erection against the back of your thigh, waiting, and you realize that was actually a consent question.
“Fuck, yeah,” you say eagerly. “If you think you can claim me, then claim me.”
He prods at you from behind; it’s a little hard to find his mark when you’re not making it easy for him. With a swipe of his knee he opens your legs wider, and then fuck, he pushes right in. It feels impossibly deep from this angle, like he’s about to come out through your bellybutton. You were joking about the claiming thing, it just seemed to fit the animalistic vibe, but it sure is a hot fucking thought as he slams into your helpless, immobilized hips.
You can’t do much besides arch your back and take it. Every thrust has him grinding against your g-spot from this angle; heat builds quickly behind it until you’re keening, wild sounds that fill the room.
The filthy words keep spilling out between Ubbe’s gritted teeth. “Take it – you fucking glorious – ah – so fucking good – take it just like that.” He takes a fistful of hair to pull your face up from the mattress. “I wanna see, how you –”
There’s probably more coming out of his mouth but you can’t hear it anymore as another orgasm rips through your body, the pressure on your g-spot hitting just right at the new angle that Ubbe forced into your back.
Once you’re conscious of anything besides the roaring pleasure inside your own body, Ubbe’s not capable of words anymore. He’s fucking into you hard and fast and with a long, guttural groan that has to mean he’s coming too. His pace sputters, then he buries himself to the hilt and just stays there, holding his breath for a bliss-filled moment. He exhales with everything he has left and then collapses on top of you.
You make a happy little sound. You don’t mind his weight. It’s cozy, and somehow flattering to feel so thoroughly and freely used for his comfort. He shifts just enough to wrap an arm around your shoulder, pressing his forehead to the back of your neck. He doesn’t move again until he’s caught his breath.
When he finally pulls his softening cock out of you, he sighs a little at his own sensitivity. He rolls back on his hip to strip the condom off and flings it across his room. “Wow,” he says, voice light and giddy. “That was—wow.” He settles back down beside you, making sure you’re facing him. “Um, was all that ok?”
You smile. “What do you mean?”
His eyebrows go up. “That got pretty wild by the end there. I hope I didn’t, like, hurt you.”
Stroking your fingers down the side of his face, you try not to look like you’re laughing at him. Boy really is a total newbie to kinks like yours. Although he certainly seems to share them. “I’m fine. Loved every minute of it. If it wasn’t working for me, really, I’d have stopped you.”
His brows furrow down, listening carefully.
“I’ll say ‘red light’ if I ever need you to stop what you’re doing.”
Ubbe nods.
“But I love it rough like that. That was hot as hell.” You rub your palm over the places where he bit you. The one on your ass is still sensitive.
“It was, wasn’t it.” Ubbe looks like a kid who’s discovered a new candy store has opened right on his street. “Fuck. I just like . . . you seemed like you were into it and I just went for it. It was just . . .” he closes his eyes, trailing off with an adorable crease between his brows as he remembers some tantalizing detail. “You like it like that all the time?”
You nod, shyly, but a nervous laugh slips out too. “I mean, I’d probably get sore after a while but, yeah. Fuckin’ throw me around.” Your eyes trail down to his chest, unable to be quite this honest under full eye contact. “Chase me, push me, pull me… I like to be forced to submit.”
An entirely pleased sound rumbles in his throat. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He pulls you in close, tucking your head under his chin. “You’re not like any of the girls I’ve known,” he sighs.
You kind of want to say maybe you’ve been dating the wrong girls. But then the uncomfortable topic of dating would be hanging between the two of you, and you don’t want to talk about that until things are more clear with Ivar. He’s the one you always saw yourself getting serious with. Ubbe’s just, well, fun. Although he’s been surprising you lately. Like right now. You know you can’t stay long, you have to be dressed and out of this bed before Ivar gets home as per his instructions, but for just a few more minutes, you snuggle deeper into Ubbe’s arms.
A/N: I know Ubbe’s been getting a lot of spotlight lately, but Ivar’s back with a vengeance next!!! Read On
Taglist is open: @walkxthexmoon @swagmonstertoes @hanhanxx @xxdearlybeloved@littledeadrottinghood @persephone-is-here-omg @rekdreams247 @what-the-heart-desires @inforapound @creepshowzombae @tomarisela @youbloodymadgenius @walkxthexmoon@funmadnessandbadassvikings @trashqueenbitch @justlovelifeblog @earl-aive @supernaturalvikingwhore @equalstrashflavoredtrash @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @pokeasleepingsmaug @hvittysmutanon @honestsycrets @wuxiesalt @thorins-queen-of-erebor @writingfromasgard @tootie-fruity @lordsexmachine @ uncomfortable-writers @sadbutatleastsassy @sweatstreatz01 @ritual-unions-gotme @likealostkiss @thehangedmanandthehoneybee
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I have Autism.
I actually had it since I was a baby but my parents never knew until I was an adult. I finally got diagnosed in 2018 at the age of 23 after seeing three therapist in my life who either didn't know my issue or thought I had Autism but wasn't treating me correctly. I wish I would of came out sooner but was afraid of what people would say.
Ever since I was a toddler, I was so good at masking my symptoms of Autism and pretending to fit in with other people that my parents were never told to take me to a professional for diagnosis.
Fun fact, my 3rd grade teacher actually said I had ADD so I ended up in special needs classes even though the classes were too easy for me (I was smart).
After being diagnosed with Autism, I did some counceling with the same lady who diagnosed me. I found out about her from the third therapist I saw when I was an adult.
I need up opening up more and because more communicative because of her and I can't be more grateful for her.
Here are symptoms I currently have since birth that are traits of Autism so you can understand who I am as a person:
1. Masking - hiding symptoms to fit in with others and not stand out to be different.
2. Communication issues - not doing well in group settings and other ways of communication. I actually am ok with talking on the phone depending on situation and if I need to talk to someone one on one, it is hard to start the conversation and keep it going unless it is about a topic I am passionate about. I would always write letters or send emails to my parents and other people in order to communicate along with text messages because I don't have to see the person's reaction. I also will have a hard time communicating while keeping eye contact so I will talk while staring at something else.
3. Stimming - humming, moving hands around, holding something, chewing on Objects, etc.
4. Sensory Issues - texture of foods and clothing, hearing (can hear anything loud or soft).
5. Small talk - practicing what I am going to say to someone in my head so I feel comfortable saying it when I do walk up to them. There would also be times where I would have the words in my head but I just say silent and stare at the person. Also, trying to talk to someone about my interest. If anyone talks about something I don't care about, I try to engage in the conversation but deep down I want to walk away.
6. Doing the same thing over and over - when I was a baby my parents said that I never crawled but instead rolled. I would start in the living room and end up in the kitchen. I would do this multiple times a day back and forth.
7. Starring at objects - I love fidgit spinners and other objects I can play with and see move over and over. I also love to see how different objects work so I would play and stare at it for a long time. I will end up not paying attention to others because of it.
8. Getting fixated on the same tasks - people with Autism have special interests and will focus on learning the interest in full. I do this with exercising (working out, gaining muscle/loosing weight), computers (tech, electronics), TaeKwonDo, Korean culture and language, adolescents and puberty, etc.
9. Getting overwhelmed with so many tasks - if someone gives me a big list of tasks to do, I will freak out and have to slowly go through the list one by one. Also, cleaning the dishes and my room takes a long time to do because it is a lot and it overwhelms me like crazy.
10. Meltdowns - I only do this when I am at home because I feel like I will get judged in public so when I get overwhelmed I will keep the feelings inside which developed stress. I will have meltdowns when I don't want something or things aren't going my way. When I was in fifth grade, I started having meltdowns and I would run to my room, scream, slam the door and trow objects. My parents would always yell at me and call me a "baby." Once the meltdowns happen, I will just need to be alone to let it happen but I really would love someone to just cuddle with me to make me feel better. When the situation is going on, my communication will just shut down and I won't be able to say why I'm upset until the end.
11. Plans for the day/week - every week I plan for what I am going to do that week and if any of that changes, I have to know at least three days in advance so I can reschedule or find something else. I don't deal well with last minute plans or changes because I will have a meltdown. One day, one of my fitness classes was cancelled an hour before I was to leave and I ended up having to do a class I did not want to do because I coukdn't find anything else that would work for my current schedule.
12. Changes in routine - similar to previous trait, but if I have been doing something the same way for a long time and it changes, I get frustrated. When we switched from one set of forms in TaeKwonDo to another, I was about to have a meltdown because I already learned five forms and then had to stop those forms and learn eight different ones before testing for Black Belt which I was already half way on the path. Also, if I go the same same place for years to do something and then I don't need to go there anymore or the place changes, I get overwhelmed for the first two weeks till I get use to the location.
13. Not expressing emotions or getting very emotional - when Someone is sad or something terrible happens in life, I will be upset but it is more internal. I also don't express my emotions like someone else would but if you yell at me, I will end up crying and will try to hide it until I am alone by myself in a room to process it. Whenever I would fall down outside I would not be upset because I can handle pain better than others. I also can handle vaccines like a pro ever since I was a kid.
I'm sorry this is long, but I just want everyone to understand who I am as a person. I know I have tried to have conversations with others and maybe they either didn't like me because I only said a few words or they just didn't understand why I acted the way I did so I hope this post helped you out.
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Run to Me (Part 6)
Pairing: Diane Sherman x Fem!Reader
Wordcount: 2.4k
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5
Taglist: @fauxplant @deliacoven @escapetodreamworld @kikaykimkim @coffee-is-below-my-standards
A/n: Enjoy! We are almost to the end!
You groaned, clinging to consciousness by only a thread. You used all your energy to force your eyes open, but it took a second for your eyes to adjust. You were back in the plush room of Diane's home, tucked under the covers. You went to move, but it was like your body wasn't working. Your muscles were too weak, too heavy. You picked up your head but it plopped right back down onto the pillow. You couldn't get up. You couldn't get away.
You whimpered, suddenly overwhelmed with the terror of the position you found yourself in. You felt tears spill out and over your cheeks, unable to wipe them away. You tried to contain your sobs but it was hard as you drew in ragged breaths, your asthma adding to the weight on your chest.
You heard footsteps hurrying down the hall over your labored breathing. You knew it was her. You knew she had heard you. You stared in terror as Diane appeared in doorway and rushed into the room. She sat in a chair that was placed right by the bedside, you just noticing it was there. You wondered how long she sat there, watching you lie unconscious.
She smiled at you, petting your head like she often did. She laid her head in her arms, propped up on the bed, her nose only inches from yours. She looked at your wordlessly, with admiration in her eyes and you stared back, terror in yours. A tear fell from your eyes and she quickly reached out and wiped it away.
"Are you in pain?" She asked you, concerned. Her hand lingered on your cheek, caressing it with her thumb. You bit your lip and found the strength you needed to speak.
"No, I-Im scared," you croaked.
Diane's face fell, she looked like she was in physical pain. Tears sprung up in the corner of her eyes, but she forced herself to smile.
"Wh-why would you be scared darling? I don't want you to be afraid. There's nothing to be afraid of," she whispered, her breath warming your face. You saw her lip quiver a bit and she bit it to stop it. You knew she was starting to lose her cool.
"You drugged me and you lied. You lied to me Diane." You let out a sob, the pain in your chest unbearable. Not only were you scared, but you were hurt. You trusted Diane. You genuinely loved her.
You cried for real now, sobbing like that night on the kitchen floor. Diane sat up, her hands shaking slightly, reaching out for you.
"No no no. Don't cry. Please. I only gave you that because I was afraid you would hyperventilate. And I..." Diane paused, drawing in a breath. You wondered what story she was going to tell you now.
"I only lied to you because I didn't want you to think I couldn't take care of you. I do teach technically, I just substitute for another county. I take jobs when I need them and I know you needed me more."
She still wasn't telling you the truth.
"No Diane! Not just that! You lied about your daughter! You didn't have one, Chloe wasn't real. You tried to take someone's baby. You stalked my friend. You were in-"
"Chloe was real," Diane interrupted. Her voice was stern and serious and it frightened you down to your core.
"Chloe was real. She died in my arms, two hours old. I lost my child, and I lost my will to live. I was discharged like nothing happened. Like I hadn't lost my ENTIRE life in one awful moment. And there in the nursery window was all these healthy, perfect little babies, while mine laid downstairs in the morgue. I looked at them and knew none of their parents could love them as much as I could. I would give them a good life. So I made a mistake. And I paid my dues, I righted my wrongs. That was nearly 20 years ago Y/n, I am not the same person."
You felt like your heart was being pulled apart, confusion the only thing that was real to you anymore. You wanted to trust Diane, you wanted to believe she had just made a mistake, but it still felt like she was hiding something. You could see how she may have been driven to that from heartbreak, but was she remorseful? And what about Mandy?
Diane could tell you were conflicted and she was desperate to have you trust her again. To have you need her and want her. She got up from the chair and sat on the bed now, hovering over you.
"I promise Y/n, I would never hurt you. I am so sorry you believe I lied to you, that I hid things from you. As for Mandy, I'm not sure what she's talking about. I do know her from town, I even tutored her a few times in chemistry, but I did not stalk her. I believe she dislikes me due to the fact that I caught her having sex at her job and reported it to her manger. She was fired, and after that she was out to get me," she whispered, her hair tickling your face.
You had found it hard to believe what Mandy was telling you, but you also didn't think she would lie. Mandy loved you and only wanted to protect you. Plus, why would Mandy need help in chemistry, when it was what had earned her a scholarship to the school?
You didn't say anything and Diane seemed like she was crawling in her skin. She knew you didn't believe her, and she couldn't stand it. A broken cry fell from her mouth and she shut her eyes tight, trying to pretend this wasn't happening. Her fists were clenched beside you and she was visibly shaking. She looked like she was going to literally explode.
Then as if a switch flipped, she stopped. Her eyes opened, soft again. Her hands found your face and caressed it. She leaned down again and kissed the side of your face slowly.
"I'm sorry I scared you, but I am going to show you that you never have to feel like that again."
Her kisses began to trail up your face, the weight of her body pinning you to the mattress. Her lips felt warm on your skin, and oh so soft. You knew you were in danger, but there was a broken part of your heart that still wanted her affection. Still wanted her to love you like she was now.
She pulled back only slightly, enough to look at you in the eyes. Your eyes flicked down to her lips, but quickly back up to her face. She was demented and you were broken, a dangerous magnetization between the two of you. Not only did you fear she was going to really hurt you, you were also confused how she felt for you. This was a literal nightmare you could not seem to wake up from.
Her eyes were dark, and frightened you, your throat feeling like it was going to close. She looked down at your lips and then licked her own. She slowly leaned down, and your breath hitched in your chest. You closed your eyes, trying to convince yourself to find the strength to push her off.
Then, the door bell.
The door bell rang over and over again, followed by angry pounding against the front door. Diane sat up quickly, very flustered. She hopped off the bed, and looked around the door frame and down the hall.
"HEY! I know you're in there Diane and I know you have Y/N! Let me in now or I'm calling the police!"
Mandy! It was Mandy! She had come to rescue you!
Diane looked back to you, the pounding on the door becoming increasingly loud. She took a deep breath, smoothed back her hair, and moved down the hall. You breathed a sigh of relief. She was going to let her in. She was going to stop all of this.
You had woken up enough now to push yourself up, straining to hear down the hall. You heard the lock click and the door creak open, and immediately Mandy started yelling.
"How mental are you?! You kidnapped her! You realize that right?"
Mandy's voice seemed so far away, you could barely hear her. You needed to get closer.
"I did not kidnap her. Do not say that. I saw her, flat out on the floor of a coffee shop struggling to breathe," Diane shot back. Her voice was alarmingly calm.
You pulled yourself out from under the covers, using what little muscle control you had to move to the edge of the bed.
"You also hit her with your car! Yeah, she told me about that! You didn't even take her to the hospital! She could be suffering from a concussion and you picked her up like some sort of puppy you found. What kind of twisted crazy bitch are you?"
You pushed yourself off the mattress, landing on the floor with a thud. It hurt, but being graceful wasn't the goal. You began to pull your self with your arms towards the door frame, your legs still numb and weak.
"I don't appreciate you coming to my home and beating down the door to call me awful names. I do not keep Y/n hostage. She has been able to leave when ever she likes, but she chooses to stay. Did you even ask her what she wanted? What she felt before you started telling her what to do?" Diane's voice was getting heated now. She was upset.
You dragged yourself again, grunting and straining to make it to the door. You passed the dresser finally, almost to the door, when unknowingly you got your foot caught in the cord to a lamp and you pulled it with you. It flew off the dresser, hitting the floor and shattering. Silence fell for just a moment before Mandy started screaming again.
"Y/n?! Y/n, are you okay? Let me see her! Now!"
There was a pause before Diane answered.
"Don't shout. You may come in. She's down the hall on the left."
You made it to the door and heard Mandy shuffle past Diane, walking quickly down the hall. Relief filled your body. She had come for you and soon this would all be over.
As if the universe could hear your thoughts, a sickening smack echoed in the hall followed by what sounded like a body dropping to the floor. You covered your mouth to stifle a cry and to keep your ragged breathing quiet as you looked around the door frame into the hallway.
You saw Mandy, laying on the floor, Diane standing over her with the lamp from the entry way table in her hand. You watched as she calmly put it back, stepped over Mandy, and opened the basement door. She struggled to pick Mandy up as she dragged her towards the basement, hiding her away.
You pulled yourself back in and leaned against the wall. You had to get out but first you had to check on Mandy. You weren't sure if she was dead or just knocked out, but either way you couldn't let her stay down there. But that meant not only did you need to get down to the basement, you needed to get rid of Diane.
You shut your eyes tight, trying to force yourself to calm down. Now it was Mandy who needed you and that meant she needed you to think and come up with a plan. You took in a deep breath and opened your eyes to look around the room.
There wasn't anything heavy enough to hit her with now that you had broken the lamp, and honestly even though Diane had lost her mind, you didn't want to hurt her. You needed to be smart about this. That's when you saw the window was slightly ajar. That was your answer.
Maybe it was adrenaline or whatever Diane had given you wearing off, but now you could support yourself on all fours. You crawled over like a child to the window, trying your best to avoid the shards of ceramic that littered the floor. One got into your hand though, cutting it. You hissed but continued on.
You reached the window and pulled it open all the way. You looked down and saw that it was an acceptable height, it might jar you a bit, but you would be fine from the fall. You had started bleeding from the cut and it stained the window, and you could only hope it didn't leave a trail.
Just then though, you heard the basement door open and close again. Footsteps echoed in the hall. You had to go now. You desperately tried to pull yourself up, but your legs were still not fully cooperating and they buckled under your weight. You cried in frustration, trying to make your legs work so you could jump out and run but you just couldn't and you sunk back down to the floor.
You couldn't give up, so you made a last minute decision to pull yourself under the bed, hiding instead. You covered your mouth again, muffling the wheezing breath that fell from your mouth. You watched as Diane's feet appeared in the door way and stopped for just a moment before running into the room.
She went straight to the window and you assumed she thought you must have managed to get out of it.
"NOOOOO!" Diane screamed, her shriek ringing through the entire house. She then ran back out of the room. You heard the front door slam open a moment later, and then the house was eerily silent.
You waited a few more minutes before crawling out from under the bed and to the door. You used the frame to pull yourself up and peer down the hall. The front door was wide open. You were alone in the house.
You teetered to the basement door and stood in front of it. You had promised Diane you'd never go down there, but obviously words and promises were worthless between the two of you at this point.
You took a breath and turned the knob of the door, pushing it open and descending down the stairs into the darkness and the secrets that lie below.
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River lead me home | 01
Characters: Seokjin x Reader
Word count: 9.2k
Synopsis: Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.
Is that too much to ask for?
Spin-off to A long journey home
Rating: Teens
Notes: You guys are gonna laugh... I tried to upload this yesterday but it screwed up and only the title got posted! Naturally I deleted the post and didn’t get a chance to fix everything up, but it’s finally here! My monster of a fic !!!! Updates will be weekly. Honestly this fic took a lot to write, and it’s been 8 whole months of working on it!!! So I hope you guys enjoy it T.T If not I won’t be made though LOL (edit: @blue1928 forgot to tag u soz)
p.s. I AM working on the HP prompts I’m just really busy this next couple of weeks LOL
Masterlist
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL
You’ve never really been particularly fearful of getting in trouble with your mother. She has always been a sweet and timid lady, the kind who would let her daughter get away with murder. And you are an adult, even if you don’t act like it, and so it’s not like your mother can do anything other than express her disappointment with your actions.
Kim Seokjin, on the other hand, can have you quaking in your shoes with just a look. He was your nextdoor neighbour growing up, even before you all fled your home realm. He has since moved out of his parents’ home into his own apartment to pursue his dream as a doctor (and to take home as many lady friends as he likes without his parents’ knowledge), but he is still very much a stern presence in your life, even as one of your closest friends. He likely feels responsible for you, since though the two of you were young when you were driven into the human world, he is three years older. He did once refer to you as something like an untrained puppy, which you guess is very reflective of how he views you. The result of such feelings of responsibility is him trying his best to fulfill all the duties of being your legal guardian despite having no obligation to do so. The effect is him being terrifyingly stern with you, despite him being a calm, good-humoured guy with everyone else he meets.
Which is why, when you wake up in a hospital bed with your leg wrapped in a cast, you know that today is the day Kim Seokjin kills you. If the job interview that you completely messed up isn’t enough motive for him to seek you out, then the fact that you tried to stop a purse snatcher and ended up breaking your leg in the ensuing scuffle after said thief’s motorcycle fell on you most certainly is.
In your defence, it wasn’t like you could just leave them be! Yes, you had not been back to your home realm once in the thirteen years since you and every other guardian were driven out, but at your core, you like to think you are still a Guardian. And so, as is custom, you cannot turn down a plea for help. And the young woman screaming in distress as a man on a motorcycle drove past and snatched her purse straight off her shoulder had certainly sounded like a plea for help! Really, Jin should be impressed, because the ensuing chase was something straight out of a movie, what with you in hot pursuit on your own bike (the one both your mother and Jin do not know you own). And you totally would have gotten the purse back if it wasn’t for the slight motorcycle crash. You’re not exactly sure what you hit since the events are a little blurry, but whatever it was, it ended up knocking you out and breaking your leg.
A slight commotion breaks out at the entrance to the room and by the way onlookers swoon, you know that your time on earth is up. For the only person that can stir such a reaction upon entering a room is Kim Seokjin himself. Guardians naturally fit most of the qualifiers of what humans consider attractive, but even by Guardian standards, Jin is ridiculously handsome. Even though you find him boring and the biggest nag to walk the planet, not even you are immune to his disarming good looks. You could probably sense his aura blindfolded and your eyes are always drawn to him in a crowd and so you easily pinpoint him amongst the crowd of onlookers before he spots you. Today is his day off and so he does not wear his usual doctor’s gown. Instead a well fitted button up shirt and trousers highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the elegance of his figure as he strolls through the room as if he owns it. You recognise the style- that particular combination of button up and trousers are his date clothes. Your heart plummets when you recognise the outfit. Jin will be extra irritated about having to check on you in the hospital on his day off. Why did the paramedics have to take you here of all places? You’ve really signed your life away this time.
He pauses to smile at a nurse who passes by and she is immediately dazzled. Though he is no doubt furious with you, and is frequently irritated by your shenanigans, to the rest of the world he is charming and funny and good-tempered. You watch the exchange with curiosity- the nurse laughs at something Jin says and there’s a faint flush to her cheeks. You will probably never have such an exchange with Jin- even if he relaxed enough to make a joke in your presence, it would probably be at your expense. Jin’s taste in women is very obvious- he likes women that match him in beauty, ones that are fantastic at making you feel like a potato in comparison despite your guardian heritage, however unintentionally. Something in you twinges at the thought- you wouldn’t mind having a normal relationship with Jin. One where he smiles at you and makes jokes and actually enjoys your presence. But he’ll probably never view you like that- he’s made it very clear throughout your friendship what you are to him.
The nurse points in your direction and takes Jin’s distraction as an opportunity to trail her gaze appreciatively over his figure, settling on his profile. She must be new to the hospital if this is the first time that she is experiencing what Jin’s coworkers at the hospital describe as the “Jin effect”. Any humans (and most guardians for that matter) who meet him instantly succumb to his charisma and absurdly handsome face and find themselves desperately in love. This nurse is no exception and you decide to utilise the momentary distraction she has provided Jin when she attempts to get his number by attempting to slide off your bed and scurry away.
A tug at the back of your collar has you stiffening. If this were a movie, there would be an uneasy swell of high-tension violin as you turn your head to find Jin has grabbed the back of your shirt to stop your slow escape. He must have utilised a spot of enhanced guardian speed to be able to cross the room so quickly. The violins in your head begin to screech in terror. Jin merely smiles and it is eerily charming. His cheeks puff out and his lips curl in a way that would dazzle the average onlooker but you see the lethal intent in his eyes. You barely manage to hold back a fearful shudder.
“Nurse Jo!” He calls, and his tone is playful and sweet which contrasts directly with the venom in his dark pupils. In their depths you can foresee your death. “It seems one of our patients is trying to escape.” His tone darkens and drops on the last word and you flinch, preparing for the end.
Only it never comes, and you find Jin hoisting you up by the back of your shirt and with the help of security rushing forward they wrangle you back into bed. They do well- the average human doesn’t stand much chance against the superior strength of a guardian, and you are currently fighting for your life. But with Jin in the mix, they have you strapped to your bed in no time, forced to listen to whatever longwinded and painful lecture Jin has prepared for you
He stands at your bedside, arms folded across his chest. You mentally write your will in your mind- Taehyung can have your Nintendo switch and his girlfriend can go through your clothes and take any that she likes. Your mother gets anything worth more than $20 in your bedroom (though she might be searching for a while to find such an item, if it even exists) and Seokjin can get custody of your evil cat. Maybe it’ll scratch his stupidly handsome face up and you can get revenge from beyond the grave.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jin asks, and his voice is surprisingly calm. You look away, scratching at where the cast on your leg rubs at the skin of your shin. It’s stupid to wear the cast since with your enhanced healing abilities the break will be better by tomorrow, but the doctors of this world do not know that.
You are not fooled by the almost friendly, interested tone to his voice- there is anger bubbling behind the mask of polite curiosity. Likely he is holding back to full force of his fury because this is his workplace.
“Well, I’d like to preface by saying I had no choice. Was I supposed to just let the robber go?” You say. You were attempting to placate him before elaborating on the full story, but it appears to have the opposite effect. Jin’s eyes bulge out of his head and his face goes that interesting shade of red that only appears when he’s very, very angry.
“Robber? You took on a robber?” He says slowly, and you can tell it takes a few moments for the words to process. But gradually, the veins in his neck bulge and his eyes gradually widen and you wince as Jin erupts into what you like to call his “jants- Jin Rants.”. “Ya! Are you crazy? What were you thinking? What if you had been killed? I would have had to tell Auntie and then I would have had to organise your funeral because she would be inconsolable! If I even survived my parents trying to kill me for letting you die at the hands of a ROBBER of all people!” The impressive thing about a jant is the speed at which it is spat out. You are sure that professional rappers have nothing on the way Jin can spill out verses in a rage. He shoves a hand through his hair in distress and the ensuing messy look it generates is unfairly attractive- you think you see a middle-aged woman swoon in the hospital bed across from yours. Or faint. It’s hard to tell in a hospital. He continues screeching. “And then they’d PROBABLY make me MOVE BACK HOME as PUNISHMENT and there goes my social life! You could have ruined MY WHOLE LIFE, (Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Why do you always go making trouble like this?” It is those words, out of his whole rant, oddly enough, that causes you to stiffen. The implication that all you do is cause trouble. Which in a way you suppose you do. You cause your mother unnecessary worry- Jin is constantly sacrificing things to take care of you. Even your friends are constantly having to shout you meals due to your perpetual state of unemployment.
“I... couldn’t just leave it- they needed help, Jin.” You admit softly. Jin somehow hears your quiet admission over his furious jant and falls silent. He stares at you in confusion for a long moment, like he was expecting more of a fight, or some sort of annoying comeback. But the confusion is enough to subside his rage. The jant is over, with minimal damage. He drags over a chair and slumps by your bedside, once more running a hand through his hair.
“You’re so reckless. Robber’s rarely pull stunts like that unarmed! You may have enhanced healing compared to a human, but you still die if someone stabs you! And this is your third ER trip this month!” He scolds and his tone is far gentler than before- not unlike how one might speak to a child, rather than someone a mere three years younger than him. You meekly bow your head, chastised. “How do you think auntie would feel if anything happened to you, (Y/N)? You may be a Guardian, but Guardians aren’t invincible. You, of all people, should know that.”
You flinch, feeling as though he’s slapped you. He’s clearly furious with you if he’s willing to choose such a sore spot to shame you. For the thirteen years you have been in the human realm, it has just been you and your mother. You have not been able to forget that fact for a single day. Every day you awaken afresh with the reminder that there is a third member to your family who should be there but is not. Your father’s life was lost as you all fled, and your mother had found herself widowed with a headstrong young child in a foreign and unfamiliar realm. Jin’s family have always been around to help because you haven’t exactly been an easy child to raise, but there are some burdens that no one can lift from a single parent.
And you love your mother, and you really would do anything for your her. It’s just... you don’t want to pretend that you’re a human. For your entire time here, your guise as a human has felt like an itchy, poorly fitted jacket that you want to peel off and throw away. Humans are selfish and lazy and would leave a child on the side of the road and they’d been very quick to notice that you were different and target you for it- these are all things your father hated. To be human is to spit on the sacrifice he made for you... and yet to continue to fight it is also disregarding that he gave up his life to let you live in comfort.
Jin, with his handsome face and ability to charm anyone he meets instantly, has never had an issue settling into the human realm, and so he’s never really understood why you cling so much to your former home realm. He knows that you’ve never truly stopped grieving the life of your father, but he cannot understand why you do not see the human world the way that he does. He had very much taken to being a human and enjoys all the perks that come with it- the technology, the fawning women, the interesting and unique cuisines... Jin adores human culture. And so, it irks him that you constantly seem to be sticking out like a sore thumb.
“I’m sorry.” You say in a small voice and you’re so downcast that you miss the way that Jin’s face crumples with guilt.
“Just... try to be safer in the future. This realm has its own law enforcement. We don’t need to be guardians here.” He tells you softly. Then he clears his throat awkwardly. “How was the job interview?”
It’s an act of mercy- he’s trying to save you any further misery by changing the subject. Unfortunately, you have yet to break the news to Jin; you bombed the interview. Massively. It’s not like it was even a job you were that invested in. Just a fulltime job that involved doing some admin in an office. The exact, safe, boring job your mother has dreamed of for you since coming here and the exact job Jin has been pushing you to apply for because he’s sick of his parents nagging him to lend you money or take you out for dinner or give you lifts because your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. But you messed it up and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for disappointing your mother, and, if you’re really honest with yourself, for disappointing Jin. You’re already so aware of how lowly he views you and this just makes it sting that little bit more.
But it is the exact kind of job that will slowly kill you inside. You are trying to kill the part of you deep down that longs for something more. You don’t even know what it is you want. But killing that part and settling into this world and its ways and its customs mean giving in. It means forgetting. And for thirteen entire years, you have not been able to forget. How can you, when you left a piece of yourself back there, on the battlefield where your father had lost his life for your sake? He was not even given the luxury of a grave and yet you are supposed to be comfortable and post pictures on Instagram about how happy you are and go to brunch and just enjoy life? You... you can’t do it.
“I... don’t know.” You finally say. You shrug and glance away. “It felt like it went well. We’ll see if they call me back.”
Jin visibly brightens, unaware of your lie.
“I knew I had a good feeling about today!” He says warmly. “You’re totally going to get that job, I can feel it in my bones. Finally, my parents will get off my back!” He cheers. He probably means the last part as a joke but it’s just another sting; another reminder that Jin just sees you as a burden.
His celebration session is interrupted by an alert on his apple watch. He glances at whatever notification appear and winces. He glances at you like he’s done something wrong.
“I’ve got to go. I uh… I have a date.” He confesses. Jin is always tentative when he talks about the women he sees, like he’s anticipating some sort of reaction from you. You don’t know what reaction that would be, though, and you don’t think you’d ever feed his ego with any reaction other than a mild disgust and indifference. When you just continue to stare, he nods, more to himself than you. “I still have to sort all your paperwork to make sure you can get discharged so I probably can’t stay with you for your discharge. You don’t need a lift home, do you? I’ll probably have to drive straight there.”
Normally you would accept- though your broken bone heals faster than a human’s, it is still highly painful and inconvenient. But the thought of being in the car with Jin right now is highly unappealing. For some reason, lately when you spend time with Jin, you just feel more and more aware of how inadequate you are. You can’t help but notice the way people gravitate towards Jin. The way their eyes are constantly seeking him out or how a room brightens when he steps into it. And it’s not just his looks- it’s his everything. His demeanour, his smile, his success. He has taken to the human world like a fish to water and you just can’t. It’s not like you don’t want to. But his presence, his nagging, his constant disappointment with you… it’s a persistent, painful reminder of everything you can’t bring yourself to be. Not even for him, as much as you sincerely hate constantly disappointing him like this.
He adjusts his watch as you shake your head.
“I’ll just get the bus. I can still walk.” You say, plastering a smile on your face that hopefully seems sincere. Jin glares at you and reaches out to tap a finger against the firm plaster of your cast.
“Fine, but this stays on until tomorrow. I don’t care how fast you heal- I don’t want that leg healing crooked. Your mother will definitely notice if you suddenly have an extra bend in your shin. And no more chasing robbers- not even if it’s an old grandma with a cane being robbed. We stopped being Guardians for a reason.” He warns you. He adjusts his shirt cuffs and pulls out his phone to adjust his hair in the selfie camera before glaring at you. “I won’t tell Auntie about today because I don’t want her to worry. You can stay at mine tonight, so she doesn’t ask any questions when you hobble home in a cast.”
“Thanks.” You say and he’s oblivious to the bleak tone in your voice and the way your expression is downcast. If there’s one thing that has Jin oblivious to the rest of the world, it’s the prospect of a date. “Is the code to get in still the same?”
“I changed it to your birthday because that stupid pixie that always hangs around you worked out the code and keeps leaving my sugar open on the counter. I’m getting so many ants. I’m pretty sure he’s leaving it open for them.” Jin tells you already halfway turned around. You wisely choose not to tell Jin that you had told Jungkook the code to Jin’s apartment. Jin pauses before he can stride off. “Oh yeah. Auntie texted me- she wanted me to make sure you remember to come to dinner tomorrow and that you dress nicely. She has something important to say.”
“She could have just texted me herself.” You mumble, but Jin has already walked off, probably to sort the last of your paperwork before his date. A trail of sighing onlookers watch his departure. It just makes you scoff as you return to glaring at your cast. It itches.
You make a promise to yourself to use Jin’s kitchen scissors to remove it tomorrow so that he has at least some kind of inconvenience in his life. Nothing is more irritating than a blunt pair of kitchen scissors.
++++
Despite seeing Jin’s mother every other day, and renting the apartment directly across from her, your mother always acts like the president is coming over whenever Jin’s family comes for dinner. She pulls out the fancy glass bowls and the plates she bought with her first paycheck from the diner she was employed at when you were small. She vacuums the whole apartment and checks your room to make sure you’ve cleaned it in case Jin needs a bed to nap on after a long day at the hospital.
She’s never quite managed to get the hang of human cuisine and since the human realm doesn’t hold the magic stores available to cook Guardian food the way that she learned, you are always the one to make dinner. You’ve never once complained because you know that on some level, this is your mother’s attempt to compensate. This is the closest you will ever get to having a community with other Guardians, and Jin’s dad is the closest thing you will ever have to a father.
But even despite her usual frantic state whenever there’s a joint family dinner, she definitely seems more frazzled than usual.
“Is it meant to smell like that?” She asks with a grimace, leaning in to look at the salad you’ve thrown some vinaigrette over. You glance over your shoulder from where you are checking on the food in the oven.
“Yes, mum.” You say, standing and gently nudging her from the kitchen with a smile. “It’s vinaigrette- you liked it last time when I made it, remember? It’s why I made it tonight.”
Your mother digs her heels into the ground before you can drive her from the kitchen and send her back to wiping the already sparkling cabinets in the living room. She turns to scrutinise you carefully.
“Are you going to do your hair? It looks a little messy.” She frets. You raise an eyebrow. This is new. Your sweet, doting mother has never once criticised your appearance, not even when you went through that phase where you had an eyebrow piercing and dyed your hair neon green. Something is up.
“It’s just Auntie and Uncle, right?” You say suspiciously. “They used to bathe me when we lived in magregnum, mum.” You say. Using the original term for your home realm feels foreign on your tongue and your mother’s expression shutters at the sound of her original home.
“Well, a lot has changed since then.” She says softly. You’re about to question the strange, unfamiliar expression on your mother’s face. Something looks different about her... you squint when you recognise the shimmer of your favourite eye shadow on her lids.
“Are you wearing makeup?” You question. Her eyes go wide, and you can’t help but notice that her lashes are curled. But her answer is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Your mother pales and instantly she switches back into her jittery, pre-dinner self.
“Quickly, quickly!” She urges. “Dinner’s not ready yet!”
You shake your head with a smile at your mother’s familiar antics.
“It’s probably just Jin- Auntie and Uncle always make him come over earlier to help.” You call over your shoulder. You’re in a far better mood than you were yesterday, particularly after bending Jin’s kitchen scissors beyond repair during your attempts to remove the cast this morning before heading out and pretending you hadn’t been fired from your part-time job the week before. You had punched one of the senior managers for bullying the new hire. Your leg was mostly healed at that stage and Jin had told you that you could take the cast off before he left for work that morning. When you arrived back home in the afternoon, your mother had either chosen not to comment on your slight limp or had been too distracted by the stress of having dinner to notice. You are glad to have evaded her sad, disappointed eyes and the unwarranted comparisons to Jin for the day.
After a long few moments of peace in the kitchen, you can’t help but notice the lack of an annoying presence hovering over your shoulder. Usually when Jin arrives, he makes a beeline straight for the kitchen so that he can sample whatever it is you’re making and proclaim it decent (and then try and sneak some extra portions later in the evening when he thinks you aren’t looking). The complete lack of Jin’s presence to do whatever the kitchen equivalent of back seat driving is has you pausing with a sense of unease. It is the first clue that something is up- the door opens and yet the older guardian doesn’t make an appearance. Confused, you pause midway through pouring out melted chocolate from a glass measuring cup and glance over your shoulder.
“Minyo Dolkara,” is your mother’s tentative call and your eyes widen at the term of endearment. It is a common one back in your home realm, but your mother only uses it to comfort you when she feels you are truly upset. She is knotting her fingers anxiously together and beside her stands an unfamiliar middle-aged man. He smiles warmly at you, and your gaze lands on the arm he holds carefully around your mother’s shoulder. Your grip tightens around the handle of the measuring cup.
“Mum?” You ask, your tone laced with confusion. “Who’s this?”
Your mother swallows nervously and glances at the man in question.
“This is... my love.” She confesses. “Nigel. We met at my night classes and I... He...”
“I’m her fiancé.” The man, Nigel corrects. He is a friendly, round sort of man. The kind of man often seen on tv playing father to a rebellious teenage daughter in a sitcom. And his smile is warm and excited, like he’s happy to meet you. He directs that smile to your mother, and rather than look disgusted or uncomfortable, she merely beams back at him.
That’s probably what this night was for, in hindsight. And why your mother was so nervous. She planned this to introduce her new boyfriend... no, her new fiancé to you, and to Jin’s family. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you register all the unusual signs about tonight. The way she’d messaged Jin to make sure you were at the dinner despite the fact that she’s never been able to bring herself to make you do anything you don’t want to.... the way she’s been commenting on your appearance despite it never having bothered her before... how long has she kept this from you? How... how could she be seeing another man?
No words form in your mouth- instead, the face of your father hovers in your mind. After thirteen years, you can’t fully recall what he looks like and you weren’t able to bring any pictures over to the human realm with you. It has been long enough that you cannot recall his face or his voice. So, in theory, why can’t your mother meet someone new? Did you expect her to live as a widow until she died, alone and far from the home realm she grew up in? Of course, you didn’t. But for some reason, this man’s presence right now leaves a bitter sting like she’s plunged a knife into your chest.
The smile drops from Nigel’s face after a few moments of you staring blankly and his smile is replaced with concern. It takes you a while to understand it is because you have crushed the hand of the measuring cup in your tight grip. It falls to the ground and shatters, followed by a few drops of blood as red rapidly spreads over your clenched fist and lands on the ground. You haven’t used your enhanced strength in so long you almost forgot you had it.
“Fiancé?” You echo at last and though it is your own voice, it sounds distant. Like your ears are suddenly submerged under water. You don’t know what hurts you more in that moment- the painful reminder that the world is moving on without your father... or the fact that your mum has kept such a huge secret from you for who knows how long, probably because she was scared of how you’d react. “You’re engaged?”
“(Y/N),” your mother says, taking a step forward, perhaps to comfort you. She does it tentatively, like you are a beast she needs to placate. The people in your life- at least the ones who know your true identity- often approach you like that. Slowly and hesitantly, as if they don’t know how you will react. Like you are a ticking time bomb, ready to go off and cause trouble. Which in a way, you suppose you are. Things have always been difficult with you, after all. You never settled into human schooling well and you didn’t get into a good university like Jin, and you’re always getting yourself into trouble trying to help random people off the street. And your mother, your poor placating mother, is prepared to do the same thing she always does. Apologise that you had to leave your home, that the new human world isn’t to your liking, but gently remind you that it is, in fact, your real home now.
But you do not give her the chance to feed you the same tired lines. You’re so sick of hearing this lecture. Every time you wind up in hospital because you’ve interfered with a fight or been hit by a car trying to save a random puppy, Jin gives you the same, frustrated lecture. When you fail another interview or get fired from a new job, your mother is there to try and fail to hide her disappointment that you aren’t leading the life she’d planned for you. But not this time- this is too far. You’ve been trying to squash the part of you that is a guardian for their sake for so long now, but you cannot do it for him. For this man, this stranger, who has waltzed into your home like he owns it and announced that he’s marrying your mother. As if he has a right to just join your family. You are out the door before she or Nigel can offer a word of explanation.
You don’t see Jin until you crash into him. He steadies you with a hand planted on either shoulder. You glance up at his face, barely registering what he looks like through the blur of tears spilling forward. For a brief moment, the sight of Jin’s face (even blurred) and the familiar set of his broad shoulders fills you with relief. Even if Jin’s always viewed you as a bit of pain, he’s always been an important person to you, always ready to provide support. But then you see the look on his face.
Jin actually winces when he sees your expression. Perhaps he is realising it’s going to be one of those nights, where he sits up on the roof with you for hours and comforts you as you spill your guts. That’s how it’s always been, after all, ever since you were a small child and would run to him when you scraped your knee instead of your own parents. You would cry and he would offer some wise words mixed in with a stern reprimand and then his parents would congratulate him for being such a good influence on you. Even when you hit high school and started to realise for the first time that Jin didn’t view you with the same adoration you viewed him, he never stopped being that person for you. The shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on. But now, he stiffens, as if steeling himself for the explanation behind your tears and he probably already has a speech half prepared in his mind. That’s the job he delegated himself, after all. To look after you, for as long as you are alive and giving him headaches. So, if it’s always been his job to do just that, why does he look like he’s just been asked to help clean a public bathroom at the sight of you in distress?
He... he doesn’t want to deal with you. That’s why he looks so uncomfortable.
You feel something inside you crumple. You can’t identify what feeling it is but, in that moment, you realise something. Everyone in your life... they all view you as a burden. Your mum had delayed telling you about her boyfriend until the last possible moment because your response would be difficult to handle. Jin’s parents see you as a hopeless child that their perfect son must look after. And Jin.... well you can see from the look on his face how he views you. It reminds you of a dark day, all those years ago in high school, a memory you thought you’d pushed down, and it surfaces now, before you can push it back down like you normally do. But then you set your shoulders- you were over the things Jin had said that day, and you aren’t going to allow the way that he looks right now to be the thing that resurfaces those feelings.
You shove past him. Over the past few months, you’ve been avoiding Jin more and more as your self-esteem plummeted lower and lower but today something tips over the edge for you. You don’t know how or why it happened but at some point, Jin has stopped being the person you can turn to when things get rough. And you have just realised that he no longer wants to be that person either, which hurts far more than you ever thought it could.
“(Y/N)!” You hear him call out to you, probably shocked that you aren’t caving immediately and telling him what’s wrong- after all, there’s probably only been one time in your life before this that you’ve done so. You ignore his call though, making a beeline for the staircase, and he does not follow you.
The place you usually go to when misery strikes is the rooftop of your crappy apartment building. You’ve spent countless hours up on the rooftop, watching the sky. It’s oddly therapeutic- the thing you used to miss most when first moving to this realm was the stars. Back home, they sparkle different colours like precious stones scattered across black velvet. Here, the smog of humans blocks their stars from the sky. But the brightest stars are somewhat visible on clear nights and they are the closest reminder you have of home. That’s probably why you have chosen the roof as your refuge. Since beginning to take refuge here when things go bad, you’ve accumulated a small collection of old furniture from whenever your mum goes on a redecorating spree.
What has resulted is a comfy little corner of the world you can call your own, away from everyone else. No one else seems to use this place, even if the rooftop is accessible to everyone in the complex, but that suits you just fine. It’s perfect for curling up and wallowing, much like you are desperate to do right now. There are a lot of confusing, painful emotions swirling around inside you, ones that you aren’t really sure how to deal with or process.
You slump down against the old picnic blanket you have stretched across the floor and let your head collapse against an old cushion your mum threw out years ago and peer up at the sky. Wincing, you idly pick out pieces of glass from your hand and watch the skin seal over almost immediately as you wonder if the sky really as beautiful back home as your memory tells you it was. Or, do you just want to believe things were better in the other realm? You’re not really sure but it really would be nice to go back. Not forever- as much as you hate to admit it, your family is here now, which makes this realm your home. But you want to see the place you came from. You want to see the stars and the valleys and the rivers. The night before you and your mother fled, your father had told you that everything about Magregnum would change by the time you were old enough to go back, except the landscape. Mountains cannot move, after all. A part of you longs desperately for that- to see the things that will not change and the landscapes that could not leave your father behind. The only reminders that you aren’t just a random human washed up in the bleakness of life, but a guardian. Something special and precious. Something better than what you feel like you are.
An annoying buzzing in your ear breaks the bubble of your pondering. You blink a few times and then sigh, turning your head to the side. A small figure, no taller that the height of your handspan, stands beside you with his arms folded. Small, insect like wings flap so rapidly they are little more than flashes, catching the light of the fairy lights you’d strung across the fencing of the rooftop a few weeks ago. The figure tilts his small head to the side and at this proximity you can see the way he frowns. He always has the oddest tendency to pop up whenever you are alone and miserable and likely he is displeased to find you in such a state yet again.
“Do you ever do anything other than sulk?” The creature asks. He is a pixie, as you know from your first interaction where he had very indignantly informed you that no, he is not a cross between a mosquito and a human in-between your attempts to squash him with a fly swatter. You grimace.
“No.” You snap, rolling onto your side to face away. Alas, the small pixie merely lifts easily into the air and sails over your face like he’s an Olympian performing high jump. He lands neatly in front of you once more and grins.
“What happened this time?” He asks, settling down into the picnic blanket cross legged. He plants an elbow on either knee and rests his chin in his hands. The buzzing of his wings slows to a gentle flap, which allows you to discern the thin, silvery veins that lace across the delicate membranes of his wings. You’ve always secretly thought it a shame that Jungkook is just a pixie, given his handsome face and charming nature, but being a human would mean the loss of his gorgeous wings. “Did Jin ground you again?”
“He’s never grounded me before.” You snap defensively. “And even if he did, it’s not like I would listen to him. He’s not my parent.”
Jungkook shrugs, leaning back to press his weight into his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him.
“Yes, you would.” He points out. “You always complain about Jin, but I know you always do what he says.”
You purse your lips and sit up. Jin is one of the last people you want to talk about right now. Jungkook stands up too, launching himself into the air so that he can settle on your knee.
“So what did Jin do this time? Change the code to his apartment again? Find out about your motorbike? Treat you to dinner?” Jungkook questions eagerly. You’ve never seen the pixie interact with another living being other than you, Jin or Taehyung (and on occasion your mother) and he had sadly informed you that he was the only one of his kind in this realm when you first met thirteen years ago. So, you have a theory that he lives out his need for drama and gossip and social interaction vicariously through you. It’s the only way to explain his constant interest in your life and the things that are making you sad.
“It wasn’t Jin.” You finally admit, lifting your gaze once more to the sky above. “Why are you even here anyway? Did you run out of YouTube dance covers to copy?”
Jungkook nods and settles down beside you. “It’s all pointless after a while.” He says forlornly. “It’s not like humans can see me. Only guardians will ever see me dance and they don’t care. I figured I might as well talk to one sentient being before I go crazy. The moths just aren’t great conversation partners these days.” He pauses. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Jungkook’s confession has your resolve crumbling. Sometimes it is easy to forget that you, Jin and Taehyung are the only people Jungkook can mix with, as a pixie in a human world. Even if humans could see him, the government would probably deport him back to the other realm the second it found out he was threatening exposure of magical beings to humans. A strange sadness on his behalf overcomes you and that is the thing that makes you willing to confess what’s bothering you. “It was... my mother.”
Jungkook is silent and when you glance down at where he is seated upon your knee, he is also gazing in wonder at the sky above. He doesn’t press further but you still somehow feel compelled to share.
“She’s engaged.” You admit and the words feel oddly piercing amongst the soft hum of city traffic. They hang in the cool night air and suddenly the warmth of the night seems stifling rather than comfortable.
“I thought the Q’uvar were happy when that sort of thing happened? Don’t you all have those huge festivities in your village whenever a marriage ceremony happens?” Jungkook questions. The natural way the original term for your people rolls off his tongue testifies to his origin- despite him living in the human realm, there is no doubt he comes from Magregnum, just as you do. Even when you were living in the other realm, your people would refer to themselves as guardians. Only the really old-fashioned members of your race would use the language that had slowly died out over the years as the common tongue became the norm. Not for the first time, you are curious about Jungkook and where he popped up from. Jungkook turns to look at you and tilts his tiny head. His inky black hair flops to one side with the motion. “Shouldn’t you be happy that your mother is engaged?”
The unintentional reprimand slaps you across the face and you wince. In theory, you should be thrilled that after so much difficulty and hardship settling into this realm, your mother has found a source of happiness. She has worked so hard on your behalf to make sure you grow up safe and secure in this foreign realm and so the least you can do to repay her is to be happy when she is happy. But the niggling fear that always chases you holds you back. It’s a fear of change- of the way life seems to move too fast for you to catch up. Here you are, stuck in the past when even your own mother has managed to move on and build a life for herself.
“I should be.” You answer softly. You lift your knees and hug them close to your chest- Jungkook falls off with an indignant squawk. Moments later he rises in the air until he is eye level with you- even the buzz of his wings seems irritated.
“Well then, why aren’t you?” He asks, but the tone of his voice implies that his patience has been lost with you. Since the moment of meeting you all those years ago, Jungkook had assigned himself as a sort of pseudo-counsellor and confidante, but it does not mean he enjoys the position. No, more often than not, he is annoyed and puzzled by your seemingly trivial problems. You kind of enjoy such an attitude though- it makes the things that feel insurmountable to you become small and insignificant. Jungkook makes you feel like problems can be overcome. This time, however, his dismissive attitude has you feeling worse.
“Because I’m homesick.” You admit miserably. “Why does everyone seem to settle in here so well? Why am I the only one struggling? Why could everyone leave things behind so easily? How can they just pretend that they’re humans, and completely ignore the fact that they are Guardians?”
You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and release a long exhale. No one has followed you up here, after you rushed out like that. Who even knows what state your mother’s dinner is in? Hopefully she remembered to get everything out of the oven. Are they having fun without you? Is Nigel charming them, winning them over, getting them excited about the possibility of a wedding? Are they… are they really happy, in this realm? “Do you ever think about going back?” You question, after a long moment of silence. You drop your hands from your eyes.
“Sometimes.” Jungkook admits. “I wonder what it looks like now. Taehyung says it’s largely the same, it’s just the cultures and people that change.”
You stare out across the ugly concrete buildings that the rooftop view provides you. In this realm, everything moves fast and changes quickly. In the blink of an eye, a new building can pop up down the road or an entire family can move away from their twenty-year-old restaurant and close it without any warning. Back home, you remember things being steady and unchanging. Every morning, you would rise to the same mountain ranges, to the same fringe of forest, to the same river song. The only guardian you know who has gone back is Taehyung, and he validates that impression- forests and mountains do not change.
“I wish I had half Taehyung’s courage. I want to go back.” You confess.
Jungkook hugs his knees into his chest and mirrors your position beside you.
“What would it achieve?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shrug, picking idly at a stray thread on your jeans.
“Hopefully something.” You say. “I feel like I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t take the risk. I just… I feel like it’s calling me. It doesn’t want me to forget what I am. This realm doesn’t suit me because this isn’t my realm. Maybe I’ll find a place that fits over there.”
Jungkook nods sagely. A moth flaps past him and he smiles at it as it goes past.
“And what would you do once you’re there?” He questions. It does not take you long to give an answer. You’ve had this adventure mapped out in your mind since you were a miserable, homesick eleven-year-old.
“My dad used to have this phrase. “The river loves those who take the plunge.”. He’d always say it in the old tongue, and apparently it was an old guardian phrase that meant sometimes taking the risk was worth it. But apparently the phrase comes from a river to the east of our home. Dad said that the river is home to a special migrating plant, and it lights up and looks like shooting stars. They call it ‘the dancing river’. He promised to take me there, one day when the war was over.” You explain. “If rivers and mountains don’t change… then that’s that last piece of him I can find in that realm.”
“And that’s what you want to see, if you go back?” Jungkook asks. You nod and shift your position to the side of some old drawers you had rescued from your mother’s bedroom. Inside are a bunch of wrinkled old papers that you pull out and show him.
“Taehyung always brings me back a map whenever he gets back from over there to show me how things have changed. Look.” You point at a small blue line that trickles across the painted landscape of the map. The label is written in the common tongue. “River of stars” it says in sleek cursive. You know from matching it up with an older map that the name has changed but it’s the same river your father told you about. “It’s only a five-day hike from the portal.” You point at a small mark on the map- this has Taehyung’s writing scribbled on it, marking the join between the human realm and the magical one. “I could go and just... get it out of my system. See the river. Like a road trip but in another realm.”
Jungkook flutters over to peer at the small distance between the river in question and the portal on the map.
“I just have to go once. Just once. And see it- see the places he loved. And then I’ll settle into this realm and get the boring job Jin and my mother want me to have and marry an equally boring human. I’ll go to her wedding and watch her pretend like my dad never existed and like I’m not a Guardian.” You tell him. “I... we didn’t even get to say good-bye, Jungkook.”
Your voice cracks and Jungkook glances up at you in surprise. You rarely open up about your father to the pixie but he’s always curious when you do, like you’re sharing the story of an ancient war hero. Which in a way, he is. Though the war is fresh and recent in your mind, over a thousand years have passed back home, since your people roamed freely there.
“We just got word that he was dead, and we had to go, or we would be too.” You tell him, recalling the way Jin’s father had woken you two up in the middle of the night, pale as a ghost and drenched in your father’s blood. You remember running a lot that night and clinging to your mother’s hand. You had tripped and scraped your knee and you hadn’t been able to cry. And when you reached the human realm, your mother had shed a single tear and then shouldered on into your new life. No time or space to grieve. Not when there was so much uncertainty ahead. “No funeral or anything. I just... I want proof, that he was alive. I want to see the places he saw and just... I want to get a chance to say goodbye. I never even got to tell him that I love him one last time.”
Jungkook holds a hand to his chin as he ponders your words and then he looks at you. Though he is small, you can make out the dark colour of his eyes. His expression is soft and gentle. It reminds you of the look Jin used to give you when you’d come up here because the kids had made a mean comment about you not understanding their weird meme jokes or you were sad because you’d seen a kid hanging out with his father. Back before Jin had lost his patience with you, when he just got that the reason you couldn’t settle in was because of the cost it took to get to this realm safely.
“You know it wouldn’t bring him back, right?” Jungkook asks softly. “Everything you knew about that realm faded thousands of years ago. You won’t find home there anymore than it is here. And it won’t stop your mother from getting married.”
“I know.” You answer forlornly. “But maybe things will be better if I just get to… acknowledge what I am. Even if it’s only for five days.” Jungkook stares for a long moment and then nods, his shoulders set with sudden determination.
“Then let’s go.” He announces. You blink in surprise at his proposition.
“Go?” You echo. He nods and straightens, planting on hand on his hip and pointing the other directly at you.
“I am the first person to point out that you’re spoiled and selfish.” Jungkook reminds you, which has you wincing. “You don’t even know how lucky you are, to have so many people who love you. Do you know what I would give to be human? To have a friends and family like you do? And every day you spit on it. If this is what it takes for you to finally be content, then do it.”
You frown and look away from him.
“I don’t want to go when you put it like that.” You say, resenting the slight way your voice wobbles with hurt. You feel the slight tickle to your cheek and find Jungkook has pressed his tiny hand comfortingly to the side of your face.
“Don’t be hurt.” He says softly. “I do know why you’re struggling.” He offers you as comfort. “And I do understand why it’s so hard. To live amongst humans every day and pretend like none of the terrible things that went down over there really happened. But in focusing on the things you’re missing, you’re missing out on the things you have.” He explains. “So, let’s go, (Y/N). Let’s go see the Dancing River and find the peace you’re looking for.”
You stare at Jungkook for a long time, before offering the slightest nod. He’s right. What’s the use of waiting and hoping and holding out for something? Why not just go and find out if seeing this river will solve any of your problems? The river loves those who take the plunge, after all.
“Let’s go, Jungkook.” You agree, with the faint hint of a smile on your face.
What you don’t see, as you converse with Jungkook, is Jin slowly closing the door to the rooftop, first aid kit in hand. He gives one last glance at the doorway, wondering if he should join you and Jungkook before shaking his head with a sigh. He turns around and makes the slow trek back downstairs with a troubled expression on his face.
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SPN 7X4 Defending Your Life
I'm making an exception today, because I've figured out QUITE a bit about my own stress response
oh right the monster Dean killed
also to recap: my period has every sign of starting(including cramps) but nothing, I've been horribly nauseous all day, I feel a hunger response when I'm DEFINITELY not hungry(stress eating and it's the only thing that makes the nausea subside) and headache(altho that could be the lack of sleep). Also emotions all over the place(Crying, happy, very on the hat etc)
and the WORST part is I can NEVER tell until I have physical reactions. I can NEVER TELL WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECTLY OK OR NOT FEELING ANYTHING
ooo chase scene
gHOST CAR
ooo good segway into intro
that cut coping mechanism does NOT seem like it's healthy
mONSTER OF THE WEEK
oh COME ON HERE's THE LYING
the visuals are cool
"license to kill"
no come on sam that was a good one.
"dead and sober, dead and crappy" no Dean, please, you need to figure that out
ah yes tortured soul
FL OW ER SH O P
that was suspicious
oh
it's just because she's dead and dead at 10
oh
the CAr
"makes you wonder if the guy who was drunk ran her over" *drinks beer*
O H H H H H HSIDOFAHPAS
GHOST RIDER
at least I know they're nerds, whoever wrote this
is it manifesting their guilty conscience
aw but the dog is so fluffy
*lies down, bounces back up again* lmaooo
Dean is Tired
didn't they DEAL With a ghost car?
it's people that kept going?
DEAN IS RUNNING ON SO MUCH EMPTY AHAHAHA
A H CUZ HE DIDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE THE GIRL HE KILLED
that took me as second
"If I ate apples" DEAN
also they're really doing license plate shots above how Cool the Impala is shots now, lil thing
"you won't even believe me" ahaha
...courtroom?
fUCKING NEAL'S TAVERNNNN
we kind of specialize in crazy ahaaha
"except that's complete crap"
"everyone judges all day long"
He just..takes punishment?
ahahah N O P E GREY AREA
no this is way more watchable
SA M SOUNDS SO TIRED AHAHA
*whispers* "stay put"
he DOES look good though
ok fine just gonna tune out the flirting
they ARE both pretty
is it that guy
the creepy guy in the shadows
how much is in scotch I have no idea
ah the red, what people were clawing
THAT'S NOT HOW OSIRIS WORKS but fine ok let's go
THAT'S NOT
ok fine
"it hones in on people who feel guilty, N OW WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE TO YOU" oh boy literally both of them got it that was hilarious
this does seem like he's talking himself into a role
the salt...might not work for osiris
shit she really is pretty
AH RED SAND ok ok yeah I see it ok
a h egyptian shit
ALL YOU NOTICED WERE THE SYMBOLS LMAOOO
THAT DOOR SLIDE WAS SO FUNNY
He's cool though, I like the pagan shit
"Sam, you're not a lawyer" "yes I was pre law" "pre"
"good one" "I saw that on the good wife"
THIS IS HILARIOUS
J O
oh no
the mining itself sucks but this concept is good
took his breathing away?
It reads a bit as excusing them for everything
She backs them up at least?
I miss her
see here's the thing, it kinda reads like they're out of ideas, but like...it's a good concept
ah so the stuff at the beginning was them showing their guilt
I like how he just says "them's the breaks"
yeah like Dean is ever gonna believe he's innocent
"dog food" oh they so desperately wanna say dog shit
"they want to be judged" echoes Dean
SAM IS TALKING COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS ASS
HE'S GETTING HIM OUT OF HIS GUILT COMPLEX OH THANK GOD FINALLY
"that it just...blows"
no one, including Dean, ever questions it, so the grief stews
oh
he does actually have some way with words
Dean please tell the truth
mate I get the impulse but still
dammit
ahaha Temporary but Long Temporary
"make sure it's a sharp piece" lmaoo
man I miss Jo
ah here we go
sam: u h
JOOOO
"you deserve better" on both ends
Dean Eldest Daughter Syndrome
"hunters are never kids, I never was"
he does Internalize things
that's why we kin
90% crap
"i get rid of that what then" "you really wanna die not knowing" HOLY SHIT
HOLYSHIT OH MY GOD OH MYGOD
ah the gas stove
"he's making me do this" oH NO
"just kind of faded...maybe a little bit happier"
hell was Sam's slate? huh
"I kind of feel good, Dean" I am glad he's happy, I don't know if I agree with the message
1. SAMMM. Dean was acting off the shits, so he had to step up and exasperatedly handle everything, and piece stuff together. Like mans is actually quite smart and quite resourceful when he has to be, and it's nice seeing that. It's also fun FINALLY seeing him lighthearted again, even if I don't like how.
2. Dean's guilt complex. Man internalizes a lot of things, and while they BARELY make sense(thin veneer, easily cracked) he hides it enough so that no one asks(and he represses so he certainly doesn't), and he can continue feeling guilty. Now here's the thing. He feels guilty, Sam doesn't, the middle ground is where they should be(taking responsibility) and they like...never do it.
3. monster of the week. No but having monsters switch to grey instead of black and white, and having Dean comment on it is SO good, because he's like...that Masculine Parody/Ideal depending on who's writing him, and like he was written to be the hero. any gray was always overridden by that. But with kripke gone, they start actually doing grey, and there's nothing simple anymore. Like I like with how off the shits it got, they still kept the theme of "it's more grey now" but like kinda for real(where Dean and Osiris said the same thing). ALSO, I think it would be useful as a scale back. I know they'll not do it because EVEN BIGGER DBZ LAZER is fun, but I think having more monsters of the week by choice and not "oh god we have runtime" would be really good, because that's where this storyline SHINES! it's got a lot of characters, a lot of lore, and a lot of issues to pick through, a monster of the week is WAY more effective than a longer story, and would help the scaling back issue.
4. pontificating about the season/why it's easier to watch. Like is this season as good/vibey? probably not really, but honestly I can actually stand watching it. Like it's very cringe in places but also, it doesn't hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable as kripke stuff does. It matches the vibe of "after work/school show" perfectly for what it is.
5. the vibes/Osiris. I like the idea of osiris and going to the bars, and the courtroom and the RED! SAND!! I got that one. But I'd also like to say that Dean saying the SAME thing that osiris said was like...he's not villainized, but I think they're trying to make him slowly grow as a character. It's like sympathy/he sucks kinda/we like him for him a sa character and I think that was really neat.
also barkeep lady pretty holy hell
6. it felt a little bit like excusing tho. Like if Sam is the good one, then it felt like excusing them of the harm they cause people. I want them to change their behavior! not beat themselves up over it or think it's fine cuz he went to hell because of it!
I'm so glad Sam is happy again but N O
7. J O. the "no autonomy, he's making me do this," the being able to see through things(and no longer hungering for something that she doesn't really know) (like...she wants SOMETHING, has it crawling under her skin but doesn't know what, and that's gone when she's dead) and that whole thing where she asked Dean if he wanted to die as a persona. Oh my god.
8. Dean persona. Yeah the whole thing where he had to convince himself to be a womanizer, the "I"m 90% crap line" OH MY GODD THAT HIT. That man is also a persona. maybe a commentary on american masculinity in general, maybe not. Also, eldest daughter syndrome, he internalizes everything and everything is his responsibility("I didn't get a childhood")
I feel like you can also make an argument how trauma makes you the extreme of something(uncaring for smol sam, internalizing for Eldest Dean), and it breaks your ability to do what you need to(empathetically do your fucking job and not be pieces of shit).
I see why this show was so popular amongst mentally ill people(myself included) holy christ
#pawswatchesspn#7X4 Defending Your Life#tbh once I realized that Dean was tired because he'd gone out and secretly killed someone#I knew that someone was actually paying attention behind the scenes#I can't wait to watch this one again holy FIUCK IT WAS GOOD#I feel much better#also I have found out that Adam Glass's later episodes were Not Great#but based on the Dean they're going for now#This makes sense in context and while I don't like the message there are parts of this episode I really like#some of those fucking lines GOT me
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I am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch
Crazy going slowly am I 6 5 4 3 2 1 switch
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Home: Chapter 11 (The End)
Sam Winchester x Reader (F)
Y/N has become much closer to the younger Winchester brother. But just as their relationship is beginning, Y/N is called back home for a family emergency.
CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10
Sam had called you to say the hunt went fine and that they were on there way back, which was definitely a good thing, but you had those same thoughts you’d had when Collin was doing good. You’d felt useless the whole time. The next hunt couldn’t come quick enough, it seemed.
On the plus side, the bunker was probably the cleanest it had ever been. You were going crazy sat around doing nothing, so you started by sorting the library shelves, but it ended up being some huge spring-clean and then suddenly there was nothing left. The bunker looked good, even you had to admit that. And after that supply run, which, like the sort-out, escalated and became a full-shop, there was quite literally no upkeep that needed doing. Well, nothing except that lightbulb that never stopped flickering, which you were working on.
You were perched on a stool, various tools in hand as you cut at the wires and soldered in the correct ones. That damn light had been driving you all mad since you moved in so it was about time it got fixed. That was actually how Sam and Dean found you, fiddling with the light-switch to test out whether or not the bulb worked. “What are you doing?” Dean asked. He looked amused, if nothing else. “Notice anything, different?” You raised an eyebrow, turning the lights on. Sam chuckled, “you mean, other than the insanely clean room?” “I actually cleaned the whole place, but-“ “You son of a bitch!” Dean laughed, “you fixed the light!” Sam looked up to where the flicker always used to be, “no way…” “You’re welcome,” you smirked, earning a grin from the pair.
It really was the little things.
“You didn’t uh,” Dean swallowed nervously, “you didn’t clean my room, did you?” You put on a serious voice, “no person is fit for such a task.” Sam laughed, but he then frowned, “what about my room?” “Why, you got something to hide?” “I could do,” Sam smirked. “Well you hid it well then, didn’t you?” You retorted, spinning on your feet to take the tools back to the garage.
Sam followed after you, not wanting to break the conversation, “you’re doing good.” The way he phrased it was as though he wasn’t sure whether or not it was a question. “I called Collin,” you admitted, placing the tools back in the cabinet, “and he’s good. So, I’m good.” “You know that’s not how it works right?” Sam’s expression found that concerned look he carried. “Not for you, you’re the youngest,” you gave him a tight smile, “but I’m okay. I’m not the best and yeah I get moments where all I wanna do is dig a hole and sit in it… but I’m okay.” “Really?” Sam’s smile was back, “that’s your coping method?” “Don’t judge me,” you giggled, turning round to face Sam. He was a lot closer than you thought, his smile gentle. You looked up at him and what Dean and Collin had said to you ran through your mind.
“What is it, Y/N?” “Did Dean happen to talk to you while you were on the hunt?” The question left your lips before you could overthink it. You knew you had to ask eventually. “About what?” Sam looked more nervous than usual. “Us…” “I mean,” Sam cleared his throat, “he’s always making jokes, you know?” “Yeah…” you tried to laugh, but you just stared at him. “Why?” “Uh- I don’t know- I guess- I guess I’m just wondering what this is.” You could feel your heart beginning to race and your cheeks flush and in a desperate attempt to not panic, you silently begged Sam to answer faster. “Y/N, with what happened to Isaac, I just don’t want you to feel rushed into anything. I don’t want you to feel like we don’t have time to figure this out when you’re ready.” “What if I am, though?” You began to fidget with your hands, running your index finger along your thumbnail. Sam sighed sympathetically, slowly bringing his hands between yours and holding them. He took in a shakey breath, as though ready to say something else, something wise, no doubt. However, you cut in. “Sam, I spent years avoiding my brothers because I wasn’t ready. But I was just scared. And look how well that turned out,” you bit your inner lip and looked Sam in the eye, “so yes, I’m scared. Especially as a hunter. And frankly, I don’t think there’s ever gonna be a good time for this. But that doesn’t mean I’m not ready.” “You’re sure?” Sam was hesitant, taking extra care to make sure you were okay. “I never thought I’d have a home after my Mum kicked me out,” you whispered, “but here feels like home. You feel like home.”
Sam’s hands softly made their way to your face, where he guided you towards his. He leaned down slowly, eyes closed, and pressed his lips gingerly against yours. You leant in too, a tender passion melting between you both as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, his hair ever-so-slightly tickling the backs of your hands. You had to hold back the smile, not wanting to break the kiss too early. Sam’s thumb caressed your jawline and cheek, his hold firm yet soft. Sam then smiled and pulled back a little.
“You’re wrong,” Sam noted as you looked up. “Thank you?” You frowned, making him chuckle. “You said there’s never gonna be a good time for this,” Sam reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “but this feels just right.”
---- ---- ---- ----
Tags: @vicmc624, @lauralante, @lovelydivs, @stoneyggirl, @kristen-bowman20, @elizabethgeorgia, @sunflowerr-mami, @stanlux17, @nellachain, @shore-line-jewels187, @mimzy1994, @imala-kaz2y5, @chellybear98, @bethypoo93 @blackjay04 @my-proof-is-you@volleyballer519@lilulo-12
Tysm for reading! <3
#Sam Winchester#Sam Winchester gif#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester angst#sam winchester x reader#sam wincheser imagine#sam winchester drabble#sam winchester fic#sam winchester oneshot#sam winchester fanfic#sam winchester fanfiction#dean winchester#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester x reader#spn#spn imagine#sup#supernatural gif#supernatural fic#supernatural#supernatural oneshot#supernatural drabble#home chapter 11#home end
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Vote For My Next Story
I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.
please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!
(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)
AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:
-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.
-oneshots ideas for any "what if" you can think of (i.e. what if one of them didnt love the other, what if they hadnt seen each other at the bakery, what if Liv had dated Louis, etc)
NEW STORY IDEAS:
NOTES:
all the ideas are AU.
#2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys.
despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic
titles may change
VOTE HERE!!!!
you can also vote by messaging me.
in the form, theres a place for comments but you dont have to leave any
you also dont have to leave your name or anything
thank you if you vote, it means a lot to me!
ill keep this open for a while, until i get enough votes :)
1- UNPREDICTABLE
They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.
This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.
2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)
The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸
All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?
Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.
This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.
3- MEANT TO BE
When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.
A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.
4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON
Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?
Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.
However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I’m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.
I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.
Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.
5- FOR YOUR LOVE
After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.
A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?
6- DATING FOR DUMMIES
*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.
When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.
7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN
*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.
They agreed on break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.
They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.
Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.
A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.
8- HOT MESS
*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.
Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.
9- 15 Complicated Rules
I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?
I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.
10- DISCONNECTED
When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.
Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.
11- NEW ANGEL
When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home. However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.
A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.
(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)
#niall horan#niall horan smut#niall horan fluff#niall horan story#niall horan fanfic#niall horan fan fic#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan fan fiction#niall horan writing#my fanfics#niall#niall smut#niall fluff#niall story#niall fanfic#niall fan fic#niall fanfiction#niall fan fiction#niall writing#niall horan oneshot#niall horan blurb#niall oneshot#niall blurb
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I was tagged by @ritchieblackless Thank you!
1. Why did you choose your url?
The “Northwest” comes from “Northwestern”. As far as that part goes, it’s a long, complicated story, involving a character from some original stories I used to write for my younger cousins when they were kids, and my favorite vessel on Deadliest Catch (it used to be a good show). “Insanity” comes from exactly what it sounds like. I’m never fully sane... but majority of the time, I’m not entirely insane, so I played a pun on what became my online name to suggest I’m just a little up the road to the north and west of true insanity.
2. Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
None so far.
3. How long have you been on tumblr?
February 2017... so that’s a little over 4 years as of now.
4. Do you have a queue tag?
No, and I don’t really use the queue. I’m not active enough on Tumblr to have much use for it, and I pretty much just post whenever the mood strikes me, and when I have time to search and focus on what my hyperfixation du jour is.
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
The community I was in on DeviantArt (not band-related) was melting down in a really nasty way, and one of my closer friends there became abusive, so once I got everything I was in charge of there handed over, I abandoned my account. I was in some *intense* emotional pain, and I needed distraction, and distance from the fandom. I basically came to Tumblr to hyperfixate on my favorite bands more -it was something I’d considered, but didn’t have the time before that to commit to it.
6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
My icon is Jeff Pilson and George Lynch. Dokken was one of the bands I was most hyperfixated on in 2017, and they, along with a friend who is also a fan of them, really were helping me get through that hard time when I made this account. Besides that, Jeff and George have a really wholesome friendship despite the turbulent history of Dokken. As for my pfp, I just chose generic guitars I found on Google Images to create a minimalist background. I have a tight data limit, and I tend to force every ounce of life out of my devices, so I make my own stuff as easy to load as possible, and most likely to function even if an outdated, semi-incompatible browser doesn’t format things quite right.
7. Why did you choose your header?
“Classic Rockhaven” (I assume that’s the header?) comes from my love for classic rock, and the idea of rock and roll being a safe-haven for me at the time. “Rockhaven” also closely resembles the name of a neighborhood a few miles away from my own in my hometown, so I knew it would flow right.
9. How many mutuals do you have?
I have 14 as of now. I’ve lost a few due to some people leaving, or switching accounts
10. How many followers do you have?
429. Some are unfortunately fomer-porn accounts I haven’t had a chance to weed out and block. A good number are just empty, lurker accounts as well, but as long as those followers are enjoying classic rock content, that’s fine by me. I’m grateful for the followers I have who do enjoy and interact with my posts.
11. How many people do you follow?
Officially, 38, but there are a good number of accounts I “unofficially” follow, by visiting blogs every night I have the chance. I’d love to follow more, and am looking to officially follow a few of those, since a few of the people I already follow have gone inactive or left. With my lifestyle, and data limits, I just have a hard time keeping up with my dashboard even with the tiny amount of people I follow, so I like to really get to know blogs first, and then slowly add them to my follow list so I don’t get overwhelmed.
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
I believe so, depending on where you draw the line on that. (at least in my definition, I have). Do snarky posts about Tumblr’s glitches and that time I drowned my phone at work count? Or the crazy, crack-fic cartoons I drew in quarantine?
13. How often do you use tumblr each day?
On my weekends/off-days, whenever I want and can. On my 12-hour workdays, I check my dash before I leave home, once over data while I’m on my lunch break, and then at least once when I get home. If I’m getting home on time, and not late because the evening ran long, I’ll check on blogs I watch without following yet.
14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
Not that I’m aware of... I’ve made neutral posts discouraging other blogs from fighting though, because I’ve seen plenty of traumatic things internet fights can lead to in the events leading to me joining here, and I don’t want to see anyone go through that when usually, nobody wins. At best, I think I had someone misunderstand what I said on a post where there was affectionate teasing of a certain 80s guitarist, and I meant to play along with the joke to say “don’t tease him, he’s a nervous wreck” -and added some band history for any watchers who didn’t know the story behind why said guitarist is so nervous... but it didn’t come to anything.
15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?
9 times out of 10, I agree with what they’re saying, but I don’t like reblogging these things, because it feels like it’s being crammed down everyone’s throat -I’m much more receptive to things that don’t feel forced, along with plenty others. To begin with, they’re not really what I’m here for. Tumblr is a place I joined for a mental escape from the world’s problems -not a place to ruminate on them. And when I’m seeing them when I’m half-mentally numb in the middle of a 12-hour shift with only 1 gigabyte per month of data to work with, or when I’m home after that day and dead on my feet, it just turns me off.
16. Do you like tag games?
I like doing them when I have the time at home to sit down and do them over Wi-fi. The only thing I’m iffy with is tagging others, because I don’t want to make someone feel pressured into doing it.
17. Do you like ask games?
As long as the questions aren’t about a certain few things I will not share about, I have fun with those. I just have to find one to reblog from someone I follow that comes up at a time I know I’ll have time at home to answer.
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
I don’t know if anyone truly is, but @mccoys-killer-queen ’s sideblog is pretty well known.
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
No, but I do care for a number of my mutuals (including a couple I haven’t officially followed yet) a great deal, and can say I wish nothing but happiness for them, and if they were to leave, I would truly miss them (but also support it if they deemed it best -as I have with a few past mutuals).
20. Tags
Anybody who wants to!
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