#I am seeing that having adhd or autism is the new “if you only have depression or anxiety don't follow me”

[hasbrotoys]

watching people make up guys to be mad about on tumblr dot com

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

TL;DR: AITA for using slurs to try and take them back?

Kindly asking people who arent queer or have autism/adhd ect not to vote

I have autism, Adhd, BPD and am a lesbian genderfluid person. I found out a while ago that theres people who actually try and take back words so they can't really be used against the people it was used against anymore. For example. The r word and the f word (not fuck, The other one)

I've been using them more lately to try and take em back, Yknow? I don't see anything wrong with it since I myself am autistic and apart of the lgbtq. I use it in arguments, I use it against my friends when we're playing around and pretending to be mad, And I even use it against myself at times calling myself yknow, A f and r word. I don't wanna say the actual things here incase it triggers anyone reading.

I always tag it correctly if its online or public, And I don't use them in every argument, Only if they started using stuff like that first. It's never been a problem, Until as of late. We made a new friend and they told me that I have no right to use those words, And that I'm hurting real autistic people and gay people [I don't know if they were implying I'm faking? I've been diagnosed by multiple doctors when I was little for the nerodivergency, And I've always liked using different pronouns and women since I remember]

It's begun to kinda tear our friend group apart. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm trying to take it back so it can be come as useless as any insult like stupid or ugly. I want to make it more normalized so it cant hurt anyone anymore

Some still agree that I'm not really hurting anyone but now a few of my friends say until I stop they want nothing to do with me. I'm fine with not saying it around them if it makes them uncomfortable, But they say I need to stop for good.

AITA for saying these, And WIBTA for not stopping in general instead of just around them?

I'll put the word to search here incase I want this deleted

"plagiarize"

Just a note about that last line: please do not submit things intending to have them deleted later. Deleting posts is a courtesy I offer in case it becomes too dangerous or painful to have up, not something you should be planning for when you submit it.

What are these acronyms?

[ghostr0tz]

please please share your vox neurodivergent headcanons

*smacks the top of his head* this bad boy can fit SO many problems and disorders in him.

but before we start i do want to say i am saying this all as personal headcanons as someone with my own laundry list of issues. Okay lets go:

HEAVYYYYY on Autism. Has a VERY strict routine he sticks to and gets sooo fucking irritated when it gets interrupted. The only except is if its a Vee and its something Important to them (he still gets petty about it though). It mostly revolves around work.

He's extremely sensory seeking, and constantly fidgetting and stimming. He paces. A LOT.

Vox is very touchy to friends but will kill a stranger for bumping into him. Constantly touching Val's fluff and Velvette's nicer-feeling clothes.

LOVES compression . Makes Val lay on him all the time. He's like a personal weighted blanket. His body being partially mechanical makes his under-sensitive to stimuli. Hard for him to really process pain and managing it.

VERY opinionated and vindictive about his thoughts and takes. Takes it very personal if you disagree and will try SO hard to yell at you to see how he's right.

The Vees are constantly getting in debates that concern anyone around them but they all love it. They all fucking love arguing.

Special Interest in technology (new AND old), movies and shows (constantly rewatching classics), and biology. Does not let anyone get a SINGLE word in unless its questions when he's infodumping.

Probably has ADHD too. Talkative as shit when he feels hyperactive. Has such a strict routine with himself because he knows if he doesn't stick to it he WILL go insane and become a bit of a #disaster.

Medicated? Yes!!!! Remembers to take his medication? Also yes but ONLY because he's set so many alarms and reminds for himself.

He Has So Many Alarms For Everything. It drives the other Vees insane how his phone seems to go off every. other. fucking. minute.

Hard to keep Vox's attention on things and is constantly cycling through content like his life depends on it. Always has SOMETHING playing near him unless he's really overwhelmed from the day.

It doesn't take a whole lot to make him go nonverbal, usually plays captions on his face or has a speech assistant on his phone that sounds like him.

This bitch is SOOO Bipolar coded though. He's disinterested in a lot of life and usually in a depressive swing. His swings of mania are VERY bad and chaotic though (Stayed Gone is such a good mania portrayal . TO ME).

Alastor very much triggers his mania and psychosis probably before their split and very CLEARLY afterwards.

Also probably on the schizospectrum. Probably Schizoaffective?

Hallucinates when he's having mania swings and psychotic symptoms. Has some pretty bad delusions too about his power and status and definitely had them BEFORE he was an overlord. has delusions about his relationships too. (probably did NOT help when he and Al were on good terms. probably played a role in their split)

Also his glitches feel like tics to me and its important i say that or ill explode. He masks them pretty well in public and has gotten used to playing them off. But the Vees have gotten used to him accidentlly smackign them while ticcing.

okay i think thats it for now. hope you enjoyed my rambles :0 !

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

so I’ve done research and I show symptoms of both ADHD and autism

I know they’re on similar spectrums, but people only believe me when I mention ADHD and say I’m faking when it comes to autism

I haven’t been diagnosed yet, so I am curious to see what you think, since you seem very smart

Hi there,

There is a lot of overlapping traits, as you can see on the Venn diagram below:

There are some key differences, like how people with ADHD crave new experiences while autistic people like things to stay the same.

I’ll leave the article from Neurodivergent Insights below as it goes into more detail:

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[chromatoghosts]

okay i talked about some of this on cohost. but i feel like it needs to be shared here, because here is where i experience some of the most of it.

it feels like most abled people only ever see neurodivergent people either as a tragedy, or a joke. except, we all know about being treated as a tragedy. plenty of people discuss that. but it feels like we rarely talk about how on a large scale, neurodivergent people have always been treated as a joke.

growing up, it was "autistic screeching REEEEEE" and the r-slur and "what are you, some sorta psycho" and "i'm so ocd/adhd" and mocking autistic people's stims. and just the entire existence of autism at all as being something inherently ridiculous and to be mocked and joked about. and almost EVERYONE online did it. when i was a kid, i couldn't look up my own conditions without seeing nothing but either people treating it like it was the worst, most horrible thing on earth, or people treating it like people who had it were ultimately one big joke. the only place you EVER saw positivity was in the sparse few communities made for and by people with the conditions.

but back then, the neurodivergent movement was underground. nobody really knew about it if you weren't actually neurodivergent yourself and involved in a few small close-knit communities. but then in the past few years, that's started to change. i think it was around 2020-ish that i started noticing people started to, well, notice us. while we're still far off from everyone in general being aware of our existence, we've slowly started to become mainstream. now canonically autistic characters are starting to appear in media, and people actually noticed when sia released her god-awful movie and criticized it.

but even so, neurodivergency never stopped being treated as a joke. some people realized that their previous jokes were harmful, and it seemed like we were finally making progress. but as a side-effect of neurodivergency becoming more well-known in the public eye, things started to change, and not necessarily for the better. suddenly, the concept of "neurodivergency" itself became a joke.

and now it feels like the label that was so important to the community, which we were so proud of, which felt so liberating, is a joke again. you can't say "neurodivergent" without people saying you're making up oppression for attention, and saying you're overreacting, and saying that godawful "neurodivergent and a minor" phrase. and i understand that some of it is because of people having tryied to excuse shitty behavior off of their mental disabilities/illnesses. and yeah that's awful, and neurodivergency should never be an excuse for bad behavior. but now people are turning one of our biggest points of pride, which we worked so hard on, into something to be ashamed of. not to mention shit like "delulu" and "restarted" and "narcissist" and "acoustic' and "i am in your walls".

and the recent trend that ableism is made up or being overexaggerated, which i've been seeing online recently, just makes my blood boil. i can't go outside without being stared at or treated like a child or mocked. we don't have the basic human rights to immigrate or marry or get a job, and many of us don't have any autonomy at all. countless of us die every day because nobody cares enough about us or believes us. hate crimes and police violence against the mentally disabled and mentally ill is still a huge thing. and it is still legal to physically and psychologically and emotionally abuse us, and in many places kill us. but people act like we're all making this up for attention. it's a type of discrimination and oppression so that is so sheerly widespread and all-consuming, but yet it's so invisible.

i mean of course people have never believed us about our experiences and the sheer amount of ableism we face. that's not new. but i guess just what makes it hurt so worse now is that people now realize the neurodivergent community exist, and people who we used to think are allies are turning against us and mocking us. someone makes fun of neurodivergent people, you try to say "hey don't do that", and now everyone is dogpiling you and saying you're "pissing on the poor" and "proving their point." we can't criticize albeism from others online now without being told we're overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. and i see people who i thought were allies reblogging and laughing about this kinda stuff. and it just really feels like it's hard to trust abled people. it feels like every time i think i can trust a neurotypical person, they turn on us. and sometimes i just feel like cutting off any neurotypical people altogether, even though i know realistically there are some good allies out there. it just feels like there are so few

idk just feels bad man. we really can't catch a break can we

[wanderingaldecaldo]

Fuckin' A, it's Friday

I was so intent on getting Gabriella and Hilary queued up for the last Fem V Friday of the year that I forgot to get pics for my main girl. 🙃

If you know me, you know I am a soft, sentimental bitch. It only takes the slightest prompt for me to pull out that side, and what is the New Year but an excellent reason to pull it out?

2023 was a mess of a year, both in my personal life and fandom. In fandom, some friends moved on; new friends appeared; and a few people moved from person in fandom who I like, to person who I can be vulnerable with and trust to offer good advice. In my personal life, I struggled with my mental health and fought to get an ADHD diagnosis so I could receive treatment. Turns out I'm also on the autism spectrum, and that certainly explains a lot of things.

Something I've learned as I've gotten older, the years are all a mess. Sometimes the good outweighs the bad, sometimes it's the reverse. But it's always a mixed bag. There is always good in the year, even if you have to squint to see it.

I didn't have to squint to see the good in 2023; despite all the rough edges, it's right there in front of me. It's in the new friends I've made, and the friends who have stuck around; in the support I receive from my meat partner and my boss; in the pill organizer every morning. It's my chonky cat sitting on me every morning to tell me it's time to feed her.

I have no idea what kind of mess 2024 will be, but I'm excited to experience it.

Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year!

[muffinsin]

Hello muffin tis i, deluded anon with another ask. Tw for ablism i think? I am autistic and get called slurs and mocked for it by my family n friends, such as the r word n whatnot. If theres any issues that cause me stress like putting the cutlery away- they are too loud and hurt my head. Or if my clothes and everything touching me burns n pricks me, being mute on occasions i get told to get a grip n to shut up- then told off later if i was in public. They treat other autistic people differently from me n reassure them that its ok n valid but its not ok for me to be like that. Anyways i dont really do people and am attached to my teddies n plushies- they have feelings. I always take the most care with them n i dont want them to be uncomfortable, they all call me delusional and a not right for loving my plushies (and fictional women)more than them.

So what would happen if the reader were to be autistic and a maid in the castle struggling with some certain tasks and the rest of the maids treating the reader like how ive been treated (if that makes sense. Idk if i’m making sense) so readers kind of like the laughing stock for them, unbeknownst to the sisters until some maid rips a teddy or comfort item.

How would the sisters react to this? I dont think theyd like it nor tolerate it due to cassandra being autistic and daniela having adhd.

I’m sorry this is such a long ask and quite frankly too much of a self centred one. I have no idea if this makes sense- i apologies sincerely if this makes you uncomfortable in any way. Please dont feel pressured to write this.

I can 100% see the rendition of lion king being played out with dani 😂 she would without a doubt try n blag her mother into making her sister make up for being mean to her, like forfeiting a maid to her.



Of course! I’m very curious about this ask tbh and hope I’ll do it justice :)

A few things first up under the cut, if anybody wants to skip to the start of the HCs, it’ll be marked for you😊

TW: ableism, bullying

Let’s get into this! :)

Masterlists

Tbh I’m hoping I’ll be able to get this right! I’m not autistic myself and am only going off what I’ve read here and experiences I’ve been told about by friends.

First thing I want to say hon, is that you are absolutely, 100% valid.

Nobody- and this includes you- deserves to be called slurs or treated wrongly for such reasons. There is no justification to it at all. To treat you differently while claiming to be accepting with others is awful, and I sincerely hope you will find people decent and good enough to accept you, friends especially :)

Also- plushie superiority honestly XP What are their names?👀 Have you got a fav? Or is it an I-love-them-all-equally- situation? Honestly, regarding what you’ve said about plushie love not being okay? I call bs on it. I find plushie love is one of the sweetest there is, even when I don’t have that many myself, I greatly treasure the few plushies I still have. Heck yeah XD

Is the autism and ADHD for Cassandra and Daniela canon? Or a HC?👀 I’ve never heard of it

(Lion king drabble mentioned: here)

Aight that’s it from me! This all probably made little sense, because ironically I cannot comfort at all, I suck at it in most cases, but I hope I still got the key points across somehow XD

Let’s get into it!

(Beginning of the ask)

Bela

She adores you, with all her heart

Bela loves you so much, each part of you

She tries her best to make life as comfortable as possible for you

Even if she can’t always relate to your struggles, she always attempts to ease them

The moment you open up about some of the things troubling you, Bela takes action

She takes special care to ensure the new uniforms are made of fabrics you approve and feel comfortable in, and orders them as soon as possible

Until their arrival, Bela has taken it upon herself to declare to everyone that you are not obliged to wear the old ones

Nobody dares to call you out for working in a shirt instead of the uniform, the order comes from Bela, after all, one of the highest of your superiors, right after Alcina

When the new uniforms are delivered, you can’t help but smile. They’re perfect!

Bela has the old ones disposed of, thrown someplace she can’t be bothered to know

Next, there are the tasks appointed to you

While she normally doesn’t get involved all that much in the staff’s business and shares a mutual respect with the grand chambermaid, she does interfere here

She requests that you are not given tasks in the kitchen as to not get overwhelmed by the loud noises

Nor does she wish for you to work anywhere near the basements

Of course, your lover would never allow you anywhere in the basements, even outside of work, even when she is lurking down there

It’s for safety purposes, most of all

Instead, you are usually appointed calmer places, such as the library or even the castle gardens or greenhouse at times

Bela is flustered whenever you remember to bring her a flower from the outside in winter

Aside from all these things, Bela is your shoulder to cry on, and your pillar to lean on

She never fails to reassure you how much she loves you, and how things you consider as flaws are endearing to her

She knows, sometimes you tend to be quiet, if not entirely mute

After a quick check in whether you’re all right, and you reassure her, she smiles widely

Bela treasures such silence, really

She enjoys to spend time with you, and sometimes silence is just what she needs

After all, the castle can be loud already, especially to her

Wrestling her screaming, kicking and bickering younger sisters all day and night often gives her a migraine

She loves simply cuddling in bed or sitting together, reading together or simply relaxing

Bela doesn’t mind your quietness, and she can easily either make conversation by monologing, or bask in it, even go as far as to close her eyes

She finds these moments precious

She knows nearly everything about you- all except one thing

Life among the staff

Bela doesn’t know of the torment you face, not quite

She doesn’t notice your anxiety when they make fun of you, doesn’t know about how uncomfortable you become when they poke you for fun

She doesn’t know an old uniform has been retrieved from the storage and switched with yours specifically merely to amuse the other staff members

You grit your teeth at the wrong fabric on you, the uncomfortable one that feels entirely too heavy and scratchy

No matter how much you search for the new uniform, it’s hidden far away beyond your grasp

Only when all your duties are done can your change out of it and back into your normal clothing, just in time for Bela to finish work and greet you with a warm smile

You don’t dare tell her, too worried what the other maids will do

After all, Bela can’t dispose of them all

Then there’s the noises…

How often you are brought to the edge of feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed when maids laugh and mock you, forks and knives in their hands as they slap them together

Like sticks hitting a drum, maybe

You are not oblivious to their laughter as you bury your head in your brown teddy bear and fluffy, blue arm sized blanket

Soon, you are indirectly appointed to the kitchens

Not by the grand chambermaid, nor by Bela

You feel uncomfortable at the hands grabbing you by the arms and leading you there

Their reasoning? If you don’t clean up, maidens will be hurt, and it will be your fault

Aside from this, with more hurt maidens and their panic increasing, so will the stress your girlfriend will have to face over trying to manage the castle

They know of your love for Bela, and often use it to have you do things you dislike

Such as picking up all the silverware from the wet sink, drying it in a towel of a texture you dislike, and putting them in the drawers

Their laughter and mockery rings out behind you while you’re made to finish their work

Still, as torturous as all of this is, their newest stunt is incomparable to it

As you find yourself hugging your stuffed bear yet again and cry into its fur at the loud laughter around you, you suddenly feel it tugged from you

Naturally, you try to hold on

Slurs are thrown at you. Mockery

You hear a particular loud cry, a maid calling you a baby, just before you’re suddenly sent back on the bed

You’re holding your teddy- as is the maid tugging it

Tears well up in your eyes as you hold its body, your eyes scanning the unattached leg now dropped to the floor

You feel someone snap their fingers right next to your ear and jump

More laughter

The women around you laugh and mock as you sink to the floor, your teddy and blanket held tight to you as you attempt to grasp the leg

It’s kicked in the corner of the room, and more laughter rings out when you crawl after it quickly

More harsh name calling, until eventually you grasp it

Unsurprisingly, you can’t just push it back on

You aren’t sure how much time passes until your girlfriend finds you

You aren’t even sure when you wandered off to Bela’s room. It’s as if your feet just automatically carried you to your safe place

She immediately swarms to you, her hands hovering by your arms

With a nod of your head, reassuring her it’s okay, she touches you

She immediately feels the change of fabric of your uniform. She knows, this isn’t the right one

Still, golden eyes set on the damaged teddy bear in your hands

Again, she waits for your permission before she pulls you on her lap, knowing you’re so distraught now

She grasps your hands and dries your tears, and gently holds the leg one one hand, the remaining teddy in her other

“He’s broken”, you sob, and Bela is quick to assure you

“Damaged, my dove, not broken”

She promises, she can fix your friend

And true to her word, she does

Urging you to change, she allows you to search her closet for anything that suits you

You watch with wide, hopeful eyes as she takes a sewing kid from one of her many shelves

Thankfully, your beautiful girlfriend enjoys branching out and learning so many new skills…

You watch with wonder as she adds stuffing back into the leg, and even allows you to pick a color to stitch it back together in

Dressed comfortably in her larger clothing and holding onto her pillows and your blue blanket, you watch as slowly, but surely, your friend’s leg is reattached

“He’s on bed rest now, you know”, she teases, hoping to bring a smile to your face

Bela portrays this picture of calmness for you, but rest assured, the moment she knows you’re completely calm and happy again, she will personally see to it that such actions are punished

She demands to know what has been going on with the staff, and offers you your own room, should you not want to move into hers

Bela smiles in self satisfaction as she hand picks the new recruits for cadou experiments, hunts, and, of course, Cassandra’s birthday presents ;)

Cassandra

She cares a lot about you, and is incredibly protective of you

Cassandra tries her best to make you comfortable

She knows, her fast, often dangerous and hectic movements can intimidate or scare away most. She doesn’t want that to happen with you

While Cassandra isn’t the best at listening, she takes in all you say whenever you are made uncomfortable by something

Such as the clanging of her weapons when she carelessly drops them all on a big pile

Her heart breaks a little when you cover your ears at the loud noise caused by metal hitting metal

Was she a dog, her ears would droop down

Instead, she immediately apologizes and tries to still the rocking blades

She makes sure not to clank them against one another again, instead is careful to place them down one by one

She grins widely whenever this earns her a kiss and a smile of yours

Her efforts are certainly not dismissed and ignored!

Then, there’s of course your like and dislike towards certain sensations

She can’t help but giggle when you fall into her bed the first time you touch it

She has all the perfect fabrics!

Cassandra is very picky as it comes to them, too

Her dress is tight, but soft

It doesn’t scratch along her skin and isn’t too soft to make her feel droopy. It’s just perfect to her

Her bed equals this

Soft, satin sheets she likes, and a few large pillows. Not too much, just enough for her to sleep comfortably

You love wearing her clothing. It’s perfect and doesn’t irritate your skin

In return, Cassandra doesn’t mind lending it to you, even if you don’t quite fit into it

All her clothing is custom made, such as Alcina’s dresses and the typical black dresses all three sisters like to wear

The crafter? None other than the famous other Lady of the village

Cassandra makes it a point to ask Donna for clothing made in your size. In return, she is ready to send across a few of the castle’s finest cooking ingredients

It’s working out well, and often she likes to surprise you with a new clothing item of your choice, made of a fabric of your choice

Cassandra doesn’t care for fabrics, merely the feel of them

She allows you to take charge whenever it comes to picking the right ones out

In the beginning, you worry Cassandra will mind your occasional silence

You’re all too happy to notice: she doesn’t

Cassandra talks often, but isn’t quite one for conversation

She likes monologuing, knowing you’re listening to her as she rants about her hunts and her sisters

She doesn’t take your silence as disrespect, though at times randomly reminds herself to check in whether you’d like her to keep talking or stay silent as well for some peace and quiet

She likes to bask in such silence sometimes, to have her head on your lap and play with a few of her flies while you stroke her soft hair

Another thing she’s surprised you by is regarding your stuffed animals

While she hasn’t quite got the connection to them you have, she respects it

Though, she will not allow all of them in her bed. She wants that space all to herself

Still, she is mindful to keep a corner of the bed empty for your stuffed animals, and only growls playfully when you shower them in love, subtly reminding you to place a kiss to her forehead, too

She can’t help but be a little clingy sometimes, after all

Cassandra doesn’t fault you for preferring plushies to humans. She isn’t exactly a fan of them either and rather sees them as nuisances or means to an end, after all

All except you. You’re her precious little human

And Cassandra wants to keep you safe at all times

Yet, there are things even she cannot seem to keep you safe from

Such as the staff members

You know, Cassandra doesn’t get involved with the maiden’s affairs unless to drag one to the basement

She is therefore unaware of the pokes and laughter that follow you sometimes

The slurs whispered your way… you know Cassandra would have their heads for it, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to tell her

And they know it all too well

Your heart hurts when they talk to you, and in time, you know the only reason for this are dares

Dares, from one maid to another, to talk to you

Entertainment, as they chat and mock you subtly, trying to see how long it takes you to notice

You try to brush it off. To not let it bother you

Cassandra surely wouldn’t let it bother her! She seems so powerful…

Their words regarding this sting. How she could be with someone like you

When you’re allowing them to walk all over you

Some freak, as they say

Their words haunt you hours later even, when your shifts end and you’re cuddled up against Cassandra as she monologues about this and that while showing you her newest dagger

Then, there’s the little stuffed turtle you like to keep in your pocket

It helps you stay calm sometimes, even with the uniform being scratchy and uncomfortable

Often they laugh as they snatch your turtle from you, instead throw her through the air, right above your outstretched hands as you attempt to catch your precious friend

All other stuffed animals are kept safe in Cassandra’s room. All but this one

No one would dare venture into her territory merely to taunt you

No maid is this foolish

You gasp when the turtle is thrown yet again, high in the air in the main hall, right above your hands even as you jump to reach it

Your eyes widen when your precious stuffed animal lands right in the fireplace

Thankfully, not a lit one. It’s summer, thankfully, and the castle is warm enough as it is

But it’s hot, and dirty, and smears black dust and ashes all over the green fur

“Freak”, they taunt as they pass you, crying and attempting to wipe the dirt off

Cassandra finds you easily, having heard your fast heartbeat indicating your panic attack even from the basement

You can merely look up at her as she kneels down, her gloves easily pulled down by her teeth as she holds the little turtle

She’s very careful no blood is smeared on it or you, and opts for staying a little distant upon realising she’s covered in it nearly from head to toe

You don’t seem to mind, you can only look at the turtle, impossibly small in Cassandra’s large hands as strong fingers rub over the dirt gently

A stain remains, and you smile watery. A battle wound, maybe?

The thought comforts you only slightly

You suppose, a scar, a battle wound, wouldn’t be the worst thing…Cassandra has them, after all, scars littering her backside from challenging fights

She won, in the end

Upon demanding what happened, and hearing your tale, Cassandra sees red

She wipes the back of her hand against her lips to clean her bloodied lips, then presses a small kiss to your forehead before she swarms off

In the days to come, plenty examples are maid

Maidens are set free only to be dragged back screaming and badly hurt, begging for forgiveness as they are killed in front of the others

Others are immediately dragged to the basement

And the remaining two that have started it all, are devoured alive in front of the rest of the staff, Cassandra’s warning screamed from their lips

Never, never, will she allow someone to mistreat you again

She keeps a close eye on you, and often opts for having a few flies buzzing around you when you aren’t with her

Daniela

Daniela is a hyper little thing, full of energy and love that she wants to shower you in

She’s very clingy with you, but also incredibly perceptive

More so than her other two sisters, even

She picks up on your slight grimace when it’s dinner time and the rattling of silverware irritates your ears

Without having to tell her, Daniela is more delicate in her movements with her fork and knife- she was the main source of this noise after all, smacking them together because she is generally too energetic to sit still

Instead, she merely swarms around excitedly and annoys her sisters until the food is served

She also notices- you don’t like every clothing item she has to offer

Some just- don’t take your pick, and at first she is a little hurt

She doesn’t understand why, and worries you might think she has horrible taste

Or perhaps don’t want to wear a gift of hers altogether

Daniela tends to overthink fast, and quickly becomes a little hesitant to shower you in gifts when you don’t seem too happy with the two dresses she’s brought you

While she is all for comfort, Daniela doesn’t mind scratchiness of her gowns

Being put in so many of them for balls and events hosted by Alcina, she has learned to ignore the urge to scratch and the annoying itch caused by scratchy sleeves

Overall, she still loves gowns, and isn’t bothered by differences in textures

When you explain to her that you feel differently about this, it’s a little difficult for her to understand

However, Daniela cares about you, and if you tell her this fabric is bad fabric, she’ll tear it to pieces for you, as though you’re her fair maiden and she is the knight protecting you from the fierce dragon!

She often makes slashing noises as she does though, a little too invested in her fantasies

You don’t mind

You think her creativity and fantasy endearing, even

Daniela is curious, though. Often she will randomly swarm to you to ask whether something is good or bad, just out of curiosity, and maybe because she’s turned it into a game

She wants to see if she is getting better at telling what is good and what isn’t, so her surprises and gifts for you are ones you can actually enjoy

She brings you fabrics of gowns and shirts, food and drinks, and even once a very grumpy Bela to question whether her sister feels bad too

She claims she does, with a large, shit eating grin on her face, and you smile as her laughter is heard through the halls when she is chased down for such behaviour, likely made to sit and listen to another lecture of the blonde should she be caught

You find, you look forward to hearing Daniela complain about it

While Daniela can be very loud and hyper at times, and often enough you join in, she doesn’t mind times you’re quiet either

She had no trouble at all leading a conversation, either monologuing or talking for so long and so fast, there’s no way for anybody else to join in anyway

Often, when she notices you’re in a quieter mood, she’ll take control of the conversation until the other person leaves

In return, she only expects a smile, and a kiss to her face

Yet, as much as Daniela dotes on you and coddles you, there are others who are not as sweet

Others, who do not make you feel as welcome

Others, who dare make you feel as though you aren’t normal. Not “right”

The maidens at Castle Dimitrescu can be ruthless, sometimes, especially to outsiders

Being Daniela’s partner has made you an outsider

And having autism has made you their target

They thread carefully at first, knowing you are not only under Daniela’s protection, but by this also under Bela and Cassandra’s

Should they hurt you, it hurts Daniela, after all. Alas, you have three murderous fly women on your side

However…what they don’t know…

It starts off with a group of four who take, seemingly, immense pleasure in taunting you

Their hatred comes from being small minded, and jealous, yet knowing this does nothing to help you

They don’t understand- how come you get to wear a different uniform than them?!

How come you never have to clean up the table and wash the dishes and silverware?

How come you get to work in quiet, reserved locations and get to take so many breaks, while they are to work near the entrance to the dungeons, the screams of their fellow fallen maids taunting them

How come they fear for their life, and you never need to?

You are a target by far too soon

You often find yourself crying and hiding at your bed as they laugh and bicker about, silently wishing Daniela opts for a random visit and slays them all

She doesn’t, and won’t. She isn’t allowed into the maid quarters

Their shrill laughter and loud voices hurt your ears, and as you find yourself clutching one of the stuffed animals not tucked away in Daniela’s room- a grey, knit bear- they laugh even more

Soon, you are titled as a baby and inhuman for your affection towards the stuffed animal

You feel fear shoot through you whenever you don’t find him sitting at your pillow

Often, they wave the teddy in front of you, snickering and commanding this and that

They’re playing God, and for moments you feel as though they are the predators of this castle

With the wish to receive your stuffed animal again, you clean their beds and bring their plates, silverware and cups to the kitchens after supper

Usually, you receive your bear again

Not yet this time, it seems

“Go and get it, if you dare” they snicker as they throw it down the stairs to the basement

You gulp. You know, you aren’t supposed to go down there

No maid is, but especially you

Even Daniela has forbidden you from stepping in the cellars

You shudder at the memory of her truthful description upon being asked what lies down there. Monsters with swords and sickles, mold and blood, pain and the reek of the dead, corpses and torture chambers

But…your bear

You venture down as they snicker, and jump when the door clasps shut behind you

As tears sprint to your eyes, you hear a lock. No going back now, either way

You gulp at the loud whimpers and cries, and the distant screams and groans of the undead

It’s dark, and you can barely make a thing out

You jump when you hear a loud gasp from one of the cells and a hand reaches through the bars, as though to reach you

Immediately, you keep on running

More hands shoot out, some grazing your arm and dirtying your uniform, others mere inches away from your skin

You nearly trip a few times, the floor stony and littered with buckets, thrown over tables and chairs, dull knives and what not

It’s so dark, so that you can barely make out your own hands and the ones reaching for you

You shriek as a body bag drops in front of you, immediately taking off to run another direction

Again, you scream, when you run into something

A monster?! It’s so dark you-

“Uh-“

You blink at Cassandra’s voice, and upon opening your eyes, you find golden ones staring down at you

She seems almost unsure. You aren’t supposed to be in the basements, and were you anybody else, she would have already dug her sickle into you and called you a foolish prey for running right to her

But…you’re Daniela’s

You jump at a second gasp, and whine when another pair of golden eyes sets on you

Thankfully, these do not belong to Bela Dimitrescu. You recognize the light green colour shining through gold in them

Daniela!

She gasps when you run into her, quickly adjusting her hand so you don’t run right into the scalpel you can’t see in the dark

Immediately, her shock is covered by concern when she smells the fear surrounding you

She demands to know what you’re doing her, even if she feels flustered upon thinking you might have missed her and wanted to see her bad enough to venture into the cellars

Upon opening up about the bear, you feel her grasp your hand tightly

She promises, she’s going to find it with you

You nod shakily as Cassandra grins, having just received a reason to go upstairs and cause some more trouble along the maidens

With a lit torch held tightly in Daniela’s hand, it’s by far easier to navigate the dim basement

You realise the hands reaching out were maids, now backed far in the corner of their cells to avoid Daniela’s gaze

But the redhead doesn’t mind them. She is focused on finding your bear

And find him she does, after a while of searching

You nearly whimper when she holds it up between two fingers, the fabric soaked in blood and dirt and a rat having already started to eat away at its side

She hugs you tightly as she explains, it must be disposed of

It’s a major health risk by now, having been exposed to the mold of the basement and who knows what else

You spend the next couple of days entirely in her bed, cuddled up under the covers and crying your heart out between your other stuffed animals

At last, Daniela enters, a nervous smile on her face

You notice her hand behind her back, and lift your head curiously

“So, I know it’s not the same, but I told Bela what happened and asked her to fix it…”, she trails off

You can’t help but smile and cry as she pulls her hand to the front, a bear, knit nearly perfectly and in the exact same colour as yours, sitting in her palm

“She’s actually really good at this stuff. I made her make me an octopus. I named her Sally”

[nocturnowlette]

I have been recently diagnosed with a mental health issue and I have been trying to deal with it on my own .I think that it is not the best choice for me and I am curious about how you are dealing with this situation that you are so confident in posting and that is a good thing for you then you be you.

Content Warning for Mental Health Discussion

First, I’m very happy that you’ve decided to reach out to someone about this topic, as it can feel very alienating to do so, and to actively declare that you’re struggling with this. Even further, I’m honored that the person you chose to ask about this is me. I’ll do my best to help.

I suspect that I might be in a similar situation to you. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism long after my childhood unlike some others, and so I grew up with the idea drilled into my head that I was “normal”, while just being a little different from the other kids. 

I would constantly have kids and adults alike get angry at and yell at me for reasons I didn’t understand, would be called rude or condescending or feel stupid for not understanding things that others seemed to easily. I would find it magical how other people would be able to just do things without issue, and have the only advice given to me to “just do it”. I’d be called lazy and scatterbrained and weird. Because I was supposed to be “normal”, it gave me the impression over time that something about me was just fundamentally wrong. Like I was broken.

The realization of me not being normal, that there might be something defined that actually explains all of these struggles was both enlightening and somewhat soul-crushing at first. It was nice to have an explanation after all of this time, but it felt at first like it reinforced the idea of me being “broken”. I was supposed to be “normal”, and now I’m not. Thinking back to my childhood (which was largely hard to remember for reasons I didn’t question at the time), every small wisp of a memory I would see now through this new lens. Every nice interaction was treated with paranoia, wondering what the person thought of me. Feeling vindictive towards how I was treated, feeling angry at my parents for insisting that I was normal, feeling everything tainted by this realization. I was angry at the world for “making” me this way.

I already had a strong sense of shame and self-hatred, and this only fed the flame of it. However, as time passed and I was able to reflect on it more, me learning about this has only served to help me. The first thing that is important to note is that neurodivergence is not an inherent good or an inherent bad. There are some things that concretely affect your every day life negatively, there are aspects of it that are occasionally useful, and the are things that feel wrong, but only under a societal context.

One of the things I’ve thankful about is having this realization lead me learning about the Social Model of Disability. It’s one of a few, but the simple concept is this: imagine there is a world identical to ours, except that the majority of people had the common grouping of symptoms one would associate with autism. If someone considered normal in our world was placed into that one, they would then be the one that is considered to have a “mental illness”, and there would be no name for autism because it would simply be normal. Architecture and lighting and social traditions and interactions would all accommodate those with what we call autism, and so it would be far easier to navigate the world because it was made for you.

While there are absolutely concrete struggles with autism, with ADHD, with bipolar, with BPD, with schizophrenia, they are made harder by the fact that the world isn’t built for us. There are symptoms and aspects of all of those that are only struggles because “normal” people don’t have them and don’t need to think about or accommodate them. That’s to say, you are not “fundamentally broken”. You are just different, and that can cause friction with a world that functions largely off of fitting in. You are okay, and you are not broken.

Specific to ADHD and other ones with Executive Dysfunction, it’s important to note that “productivity” is not some inherent human good. Capitalism values productivity highly, and that has bled into our culture, but humans are not robots and we were not built to simply produce. Take days where you force yourself to do nothing. If you constantly just think about needing to do something, then you won’t be able to get that relaxation you need to have the energy to do it. You’re kinda stalling yourself out. I still get like this sometimes, but it’s easier to recgonize when you’re doing it the more you’re aware. 

Again, though, while many of these problems are due to just the society we live in, there are concrete issues you need to deal with, ones that would still be problems in that fictional world where everyone has what you do. Sensory issues and depressive mood swings and executive dysfunction are not something you can just will away, and they are things that you need to deal with. However, you still had to deal with those before. Now, you have a name for it. It’s a target, and something defined that you can work on now that it’s no longer some abstract struggle and has a name and known information around it.

And, to reiterate, you are not some fundamentally different person now that you have learned this information. You simply have a name for it now. That is exclusively helpful for you, so long as you don’t fall into the pitfall that I did for a while, which is “learned helplessness”. For a good while, this realization made it feel like I was destined to fail, to never succeed, and to always be different and alienated from others. The truth is that there will always, always be people that will understand and support you. 

In my humble opinion, it’s best to avoid online semi-closed off communities that center exclusively around these neurodivergent struggles. While they’re well intentioned, what I’ve found is that it slowly becomes a place that functions like a crab in a bucket, everyone sort of convincing themselves that they will never grow beyond their struggles, and that any progress they make is in spite of them and not alongside them. In a more open, diluted website like Tumblr it might be better, but I haven’t participated much so I can’t tell you for sure.

It’s best to find communities that have people that struggle with the same things, but function as a general community of people rather than focusing just around that topic. Not only do friendships grow stronger that way, learning more about the person and being able to relate your struggles as well as count the small differences, but it enforces the idea that while this is a significant part of yourself, that it is only a part. It does not define you entirely, it is a texture to your mind. Important, but not everything.

The most important parts of growing as a person alongside your neurodivergence is both to accept it and to try your best to love yourself. Shame is a strong social motivator and it gets instilled into you early. My bullied and the uncompassionate angry adults that harshly corrected me started to form their own sort of critic in my mind, one that would always comment on what I’m doing without anyone else even needing to anymore. This is somewhat present in everyone, but it can turn nasty if it’s too strong and turns into self-hatred like it did with me.

The solution, for me, is to form a new voice in your head, one of rationality and self-forgiveness. I envision is as an owl, but most people simply feel it as an abstract voice. It talks over your negative feelings, over your self critic, reminding you that you are not worthless or broken. Reminding you of the simple facts, things you should keep in mind, even if you don’t feel them right now. As you grow and slowly change, that voice becomes more solidified. It doesn’t override or discount your feelings, but accepts them and tries to remind yourself of what’s true and what’s important.

It’s okay to feel bad, and you keep stay rational at the same time. You can forgive yourself even while you are doing something you perceive as wrong. Failure is the most important part of self-improvement, it could not happen without it. Real, helpful change happens slowly and systematically. You choose every day to do small things that help you, and sometimes fall off the horse entirely before getting back on. Change is not linear, it is not easy, and it is not fast, but it is very, very possible. The key is failure, acceptance, and forgiving yourself for failing and finding it hard to accept yourself.

Finding people that love you for you is extremely helpful, so while communities can have problems, I do highly suggest it. Even a few close friends or even just allies that understand you can make such a big difference. Even something private like a diary or journal or a private blog helps. Turning your feelings into words has some sort of effect. If people could see some of the things I’ve written down in my journal, they’d be extremely concerned for me. It’s a place that lets you get out your worst thoughts.

Lastly, understand that while some mental illnesses are concrete in their existence, others are simply names we give to a common grouping of symptoms. Both Autism and ADHD are just that, and they can potentially have multiple different sources or a combination of them, and also have many different individual nuances. Keep your ears perked to new ideas and always be willing to try them, it might take 100 before you find 1 that works, but every single one makes it a little bit easier.

And remember, you are so, so deserving of love. You are wonderful and complex and unique, while still close enough to others to resonate with them. You deserve happiness and contentment and joy and self-acceptance. You need to remember this, as hard as it is to feel it. You deserve so much love. 

Those are all of my thoughts for now. My PC crashed after typing about 15 paragraphs of this and it didn’t save because it’s a response to an ask, so I dunno how good this rewritten version is or if I covered everything the first did. So, apologies if I missed anything.

[yaeklore]

"Hm? Oh! It's recording, okay– *Ahem ahem* Pleasure to talk to you all, gothamites! I am Nevowl, the new vigilante around Gotham! If you ever see something flying right past you it may probably be me, if not well then it's probably The Blue Boy Scout! Enough rolling around and 'blah's-blah's'.. My pronouns are well, any really, even neopronouns are accepted! I am.. actually i won't reveal my age but i am pretty young! Not near older than 18 but not younger than 15! I am bored most of the time so feel free to talk to me all you want!"

!¡OOC!¡

Hello-Hello there! This is a DC OC RP account, i am down for roleplaying anything, expect certain themes, it's not that i have triggers is just the preference of not roleplaying certain kinds of RP(rp's with explicit 🍇/SA scenes for example).

If you want to RP with me, you can directly tag me in the post, DM me or send a ask! Although the DM one you can just do it in the cases of very very very specific plot or arc. Of course there's no problem with you messaging me on private if you want to establish or specificy something for the RP, or if you want to set your boundaries on what you wish to avoid or to have in the RP.

!¡My rules for this blog!¡

Please do not, and i mean it, do not ship my OC with anyone that is way over the age of 15 or under the age of 15, the max i can accept is 16 and that's it. I don't really like stories with 15x17, so i prefer 15x15 or 15x16.

Post are going to sometimes be PG-13 so if you are under 13 do not interact with such posts, if you interact with posts that are not set for you age i will give you a warning, if it continues then i'm sorry but you are getting blocked :(

OC's interactions for my OC is completely fine! In fact i would enjoy some interactions, the same goes for DC characters, feel free to interact :)

+18 interactions or things like that for this character, are not going to be accepted by me for the very reason that my OC is a minor and i do not want those interactions with my character. PG-13 interactions are fine, just don't go too overboard with it.

!¡General info and appearance!¡

Name: Yaeklore Sofia Lima

Vigilante name: Nevowl

Birthday: 13/02

Age: 15 years old

Height: 5'0'' (short aah)

Gender: Female

Xenogender: Nocstuffic, Jelliestarlic and Nuclearacidic.

Pronouns: She/Her

Neopronouns: Nocstuffic; Noct/Nocturnal/Nocs - Stuffie/Stuf/Stufself

Jelliestarlic; Star/Stars/Starself - Jellie/Jelly/Jellyfish/Jelself

Nuclearacidic; Acid/Acidic - Nuke/Nuclear - Toxic/Toxin/Toxicself

Sexuality: Bi Aroace

More info;

Metahuman: Snow Owl. She has the same abilities and instincts that a snow owl would have, she will get sleepy during the day sometimes and way too active during the night, she also has night vision and acute hearing.. so sneaking up on her on dar clothes won't work since she will still be able to see you and if you make one little sound.. she will hear you. She is also able to shift between forms, one where she has only her wings and talons showing, another where she looks more animalistic and feral, and the last being of a young owl.

Parents: Unknown. She hasn't heard about them in awhile now.

Any disability?: During the day, while she can see normally, sometimes things will get messy so she uses glasses with a sunscreen protection on them.

She has ADHD and Autism! :)

Since the picrew didn't help on her appearance this is how she looks like in her other form;

(ART IS NOT MINE!!)

In her second form she will look exactly like that, but with Snow Owl characteristics

(snow owls look like this)

[freddie-77-ao3]

sup yall we're vibing here

anyway. hey, my name's freddie, and i'm finally trying to write an actual intro/master post which... we'll see how this goes.

important stuff is highlighted in orange.

so, basic stuff:

as I said, my name's freddie. he/him pronouns. i'm a college student (majoring in accounting, might add a psych minor). not gonna say which college but i'm currently in california.

i've been on tumblr since 2019 i think? not under this account, this started as a fandom account and then spiralled out of control... really fast. um, my regular tumblr which i've not actually opened in ages is @chronicchthonic14 so. yeah.

not particularly relevant to this blog, but i might mention it at some point so, i have autism and adhd. and some other things but. like. that list is very long and those are the two most relevant because i promise if i come off wrong/mean, i didn't mean to, i just forget to make my words normal. but. those are the two most referenced. if for whatever reason someone wants to know more or has questions you can send an ask ig?

i'm scottish, born there. moved to US when I was four. finishing uni and moving back.

some quick warnings

this blog definitely contains cursing/vulgar language, whatever you want to call it, so if you're not comfortable with that, probably not the blog for you, as i don't tag cursing or anything for you to filter out.

if, for whatever reason, if i ever reblog something that contains a slur (against racial minorities, queer people, anything) i will ABSOLUTELY tag that though.

also if anyone has any trigger warnings they think any content needs, please let me know-- asks, dms, comments, reblogs

the cursing thing also applies for sort of dirty jokes? think that only applies to like. two posts and very not explicit. those aren't currently tagged but if they get any more explicit they certainly will be.

queer identity because the explicit reminded me, i'm asexual, and probably straight. maybe bi? dunno, don't particularly care. and i'm trans. ftm. this isn't the blog i talk about that on usually though, unless it relates to a specific ask or a fandom thing.

which, getting into what this blog is for because i can't think of anything else i need to add here (guys let me know if i forgot important stuff, please, i'm an idiot!!! i will forget the important stuff and write random shit instead!! i've already deleted three tangents from this!!)

sooooo

fandoms!! ones i write and/or post about or will potentially post about

percy jackson extending to hoo, toa, tkc (definitely post way less about this), mcga (again, way less). haven't read TSATS or COTG yet, but spoilers are fine. i post way more about minor characters. write fanfiction for and have some posted (both on here and ao3) and a bunch of snippets.

dcu-- films, comics, animated shows, all of it. personally, my favorites are young justice (the comics, not show version), new teen titans, and batman inc (batgirls, nightwing, and red robin esp). late 90s yj run is my favorite, and i loved the DCeased event. favorite batman comic is definitely court of owls run. no fanfics posted, but some on docs.

mcu-- way less so, but have a stucky oneshot. slowly making my way through in timeline order.

throne of glass. i'm an aedion and chaol apologizer because they do a bunch of dumb shit but then WHO DOESN'T in this series. fanfics in doc, not posted.

this would go on for ages if i listed everything so instead, here's an ask i answered on my fandoms/genres and everything. feel free to send me asks about anyone. if you send me something about radium girls i may cry though (tears of joy) so there's your advanced warning.

main things you'll see on my blog are incorrect quotes, snippets, and the occasional fic

this^^

my... idk, contact policy? seriously what do i word this

asks are always open, anon is on.

if you send hate... whatever. i'll probably delete it.

unless i find it funny. then I'll post it. there's really little you could say to me that would hurt.

when i say asks are always open, you can drop anything you want.

literally anything

you need to vent? want advice? want to request headcanons? request a fic? give me a prompt? ask random things about me? something else I've forgotten? go right ahead

if you want to ask me to update my fics? go right ahead. sometimes i forget i didn't post something.

send as many asks as you want, i don't care if it might be spam

i can't promise i'll respond to asks in a timely manner, sometimes i open my inbox and forget they exist for months, i'm sorry. if it's something you really want answered you can send another one

dm's are alright? if you want to be friends or something, go right ahead.

anyone can reblog any of my posts/comment/heart, i don't care. you want to heart 50 things in a row? i adore you. if i had kids, you would get my firstborn

if we're mutuals you can ask for my insta/give me yours.

now, other accounts:

anyway, i think that's it?

[marina-the-witch]

MAJOR Shadow of the Erdtree Spoilers!!!

Alright I need to get this out, so here goes.

Promised Consort might be the single most conflicting boss in Fromsoft for me, and I need to talk about it. Firstly, I want to say in full honesty that I don't really mind it from a narrative standpoint. As much as I would have loved to see Godwyn get his time to shine, seeing Radahn in his prime, especially after he got beaten out quite hard by 4 other bosses in base game when he used to be my favorite after some consideration, is very cool and I don't personally think it assassinates either of the 2 characters involved, as it doesn't contradict or invalidate Miquella's previous actions nor does anything point strongly towards Radahn willingly being involved in this. However, one complaint I do have is that Mohg's involvement feels quite irrelevant and ignored by both the fanbase (aside from the dedicated Mohg club) and the game. Promised Consort has a couple horns slapped onto his arms and a SINGLE move that is reminiscent of Mohg, that's it. No shared weakness, no cool wings or scales or anything, hell, why not make Mohg's shackle work to make this difficult fight a little bit less over the top. On that note, I would like to address the fight. Aside from a wonky hitbox or two, I think, on paper, Promised Consort has a very solid and fair moveset in Phase 1 that's fun to learn and exploit, even if the openings do feel aggressively tight. Phase 2 on the other hand...Why? Why, instead of giving this conceptually sound and interesting boss an actually new moveset do you just slap frankly annoying AoEs and weird Dragon Ball bullshit ass afterimage attacks and the ability to fucking toast your CPU on what could have easily been the best final boss fight in Souls thus far if you had just TRIED. Many people have expressed they feel as though Promised Consort doesn't "try" narratively, that he's just a cheap, shoehorned attempt at fanservice like Soul of Cinder What who said that instead of providing an actual final boss to cap off the narrative, and I don't fully agree with this even if I did find the ending cutscene a bit underwhelming. But I do feel as though Promised Consort isn't trying to actually be challenging in a fair and fun way. Just kinda, overtuned. Aggressive. Unfair. I had my fun with the boss, no doubt, but I didn't feel good about beating it, especially not after the only way out I saw was summoning a tanky spirit who drew all the aggro while I tried to do literally anything in Phase 2, when no other boss in the DLC or in the game at all has ever made me that desperate (Note that i don't mind summons in general but don't personally enjoy using them as it takes the excitement and rewarding feeling out of a boss fight for me) (Also note that while i am fairly good at this game, I am extremely easily overwhelmed by too many bright visual stimuli as part of my ADHD/Autism, which is part of the reason I struggle with Fortissax and Bayle every now and then, now imagine that but tenfold for Promised Consort). This boss needs some sort of nerf. Not one that completely neuters it, Radahn has had enough of that already, it just needs to be towned down. The speed, the damage, I don't know, hell, toning down the visual clutter of phase 2 would probably be enough, so you could actually SEE what the boss is doing half the time, just do something to not make this fight as unfair as it is now. I don't know if I'll have the same experience I've had with this boss as I did Malenia, where after several attempts that ended in a mere , underwhelming, unrewarding "Glad that's over", to thinking its the worst thing ever to it being my favorite boss, I kinda hope it will, but for the time I can't say I'm excited to fight this boss again.

Stan Metyr and Romina instead everyone, we love weird nasty girlies <3

[theautisticdoctor]

Have you ever been screened for adhd? I see that there is a lot of overlap in adhd and autism diagnosis. How was it for you?

Autism and ADHD do have a lot of similarities, as well as ADHD and (c)PTSD. I am officially diagnosed with autism and cPTSD, but I do also score very high on the ADHD spectrum. I got asked once if I wanted to get officially tested, but I refused because at that time my brain just couldn’t handle another label. I absolutely despise labels and getting them put on me gives me massive stress, because I feel so inadequate and as a failure (I’m still working on that). My autism also got kind of buried under all the other labels that got put on me, and I felt like it was going to happen with this again. I don’t do well in adjusting or acknowledging new things and it takes ages for me to accept these labels.

Just like autism, ADHD is also a neurodevelopment disorder, which means it would have been there in my childhood, so for me it is most useful to look how I was as a child. As a child I was not hyperactive at all, only disorganised with a lot of executive dysfunction, impulsivity when high stress levels occurred and easily distracted with bursts of hyperfocus and -fixation. My brother however has always been hyperactive, impulsive, and easily distracted (although he’s also diagnosed with cPTSD). He for example as a 2 year old managed to jump out of the high chair more often than actually sit in it or rock and bounce it back and forth so hard that he would flip over with chair and all. So he is definitely an ADHD’er. Me you could have put in a corner of the room and completely forget I even existed, which therefore also happened, because I wouldn’t make a sound, wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t crawl away from my designated space. You could give me a toy and I would be satisfied with it all day, figuring out all ins and outs, when I was done playing I would start taking it apart and would put it back together, over and over again. Where my brother would throw his toys through the frontwindow of the car (literally) because he was just bored with them and needed more stimuli. My cPTSD diagnosis makes it very complicated to distinguish what symptoms are from traumatic stress and what has been there since before the structural stress (because the structural stress also started in very early childhood) from ADHD or autism.

For me I think it is more helpful to look at it from a holistic perspective instead of adding more quite meaningless labels for a group of symptoms that one might have, I just have a neurodevelopment disorder with a spectrum of symptoms. I have made an inventory of those symptoms and the scope of these symptoms is already a huge disability for which I need to make adjustments to my life. Labels should be used as a tool to help people and their support system understand, figure out and learning to cope with their symptoms. The label is solely there to serve a purpose, but it doesn’t give you any clue about the extent, severity or suffering of the person. In my practice I always tell my patients that I’m treating a person, not just the lab results or diagnoses, and I expect others to do the same with me. I hate it when people only look at results or labels and create their entire treatment plan based on that, you should look at the human that’s sitting in front of you.

The autism spectrum has a major overlap with the ADHD spectrum. This overlap includes things like sensory issues, stimming, emotional regulation difficulties, impulse control difficulties, executive dysfunction, interest-based nervous system, interconnected thought processes and patterns, hyperfixations and -focus or special interests, social differences and difficulties, communicative difficulties, rejection-sensitivity dysphoria, and making eye contact difficulties. In both disorders the amount of stress or overwhelm is what can make the symptoms worse. Some specific symptoms to ADHD are the cravings to new things and experiences, attention and focus regulating difficulties, which could make it harder to read social cues, inhibition difficulties, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. Whereas some of the specific symptoms to autism are the cravings to routine, order and familiarity, with craving for strict adherence, intuitive disability to read social cues, self soothing through repetitive behaviour, thoughts and routines. When my stress levels rise I tend to move towards the ADHD spectrum, but it keeps contributing to my rising stress levels, so I am thinking it is more masking / coping than actually ADHD. I think, I therefore really fit the autism spectrum better than the ADHD spectrum. But I don’t know, maybe I’ll be ready one day to get myself actually tested, because it also wouldn’t really surprise me if I was.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for deleting an unused group chat?

So this girl at my school (we'll call her Lara) was in a d&d group chat and runs a d&d club at school, with this boy (who we'll call Freddie), but I owned the group chat, which I saw had been inactive aside from Freddie spamming on any random day for months on end, so I removed everyone,left and then deleted it, thinking that, at worst, Freddie would notice and create a new group chat. No.

The following text conversation between me and Lara follows:

Lara: Why did you removes us all from the group chat?

Me: Because it was abandoned anyway so I just got rid of it? The only one who used it was Freddie and that was only to troll so I just got rid of it

Lara: Yh but we are using it for d&d? We still do it every Thursday yk

Me: No one had said anything for a month until Tuesday, and Freddie only use it to troll, you're making a big deal out of nothing.

Me: And I've got a party anyway.

Lara: Ok Jesus Christ , you really need to calm down and stop being so petty we still use that group chat for our campaign and you just deleted it for no reason. You could have just let us know before hand instead of deleting on a whim. Also, I know it doesn’t excuse it but Freddie literally has autism and ADHD and telling crappy jokes and sending memes equivalent to YouTube short memes are his way of expressing himself especially in that group chat where he is able to do that in a friendly environment.

Me: No messages for a month. Litterally none. And I know he has autism and ADHD, but seriously, you're accusing me of being insensitive because I deleted a GC that was litterally only used for spam, when it's easy to forget that he does that because of autism and ADHD. I litterally just see him as a person, not a 'person with ADHD and autism'. I have also stated my reasons. You didn't actually need to message me about this, you could have just made the new GC and move on, but you were the one who decided to be petty, I just decided to get rid of a GC that I saw as unused.

Lara: Whatever helps you sleep at night, if you deleted to be petty or not it was still frustrating to delete us when it’s was a community group chat

Me: No longer used, as I have said before. I thought no one would even notice because no one had messaged it for months aside from Oli. As I've said, it's not a big deal, you didn't have to start all of this, and what would I have to be petty about anyway?

Lara: The fact that Freddie kicked u out from our d&d sessions but hey I, guess you did it spontaneously then 🤷‍♀️

Lara: Sometimes you are a very petty little thing [anon]🤷‍♀️

Me: Bro he did? I didn't know or care lmao

Lara: mkay 👍

Am I the asshole in this situation?

What are these acronyms?

[katy-l-wood]

Meet the Characters: Conifer

Conifer! Like the other counselors at the camp, Conifer does not use her real name but a nature themed nickname. Conifer is the POV character of the novel.

Conifer had a really interesting evolution as a character because, when I originally wrote the book, I was only vaguely aware of the fact that I probably had some level of ADHD. But by the time I got around to editing it to fully release, I had figured out a lot more about myself including the fact that while I do have ADHD, I'm probably also on the autism spectrum. When I started editing I realized I'd given Conifer a lot of autistic traits that I just hadn't recognized as such at the time. So in that last round of major edits I decided to really lean into it and flesh those traits out.

Conifer's autism is no longer just implied, it is directly on page and discussed. Her choice to self-diagnose is also discussed on page, and her friends are there for her the whole way as the world flips on its head and dumps a ton of new weight on her shoulders in the process.

And I know some people might get grumpy about her being aroace AND autistic but hey, guess what? That's me. Yeah, it can be a bad stereotype. But it's also me. I am all three of those things, so I'm gonna put it in my book.

Here's a little Conifer snippet from the book:

“I miss TikTok,” Tabatha said. She was sprawled out in the dirt and sawdust, looking up at the murky sky. “What’s TikTok?” Conifer asked. Everyone slowly turned to look at her, looking flabbergasted. Even Tabatha raised her head off the ground in what seemed like an uncomfortable position just to be able to see Conifer. “What?” Conifer said, glancing around. “I’m guessing it’s some social media site? I’ve just never heard of it.” “You know…” Marauder said, head tilted, “usually, when people are chronically online, they’re told to go outside and touch grass. You, however, need to go inside and watch a movie or something. A recent movie.”

Back the Kickstarter here!

[nemo-bros]

this is my new visual schedule:

i have no idea how to image describe pictures with so many things in them, so I'm sorry I have no image description, but I will do my best to explain the purpose of each page (left to right top to bottom)

the cover (keeps pieces from falling off if I put the flipbook in my backpack or something) the cover also has my name on it but I cropped this out

'first next then after' page (the main page I use, has my soonest upcoming tasks- I take pieces from the 'to do' page and put them here)

'to do' (at the morning I fill up this page with my tasks like cleaning, chores, and studying- I do have cards for other fun activities and eating but I only ues them on the first page in between tasks from this page)

'done' (when I finish a task on the 'first next then after' page I move it here- it gives me dopamine to see everything I finished that day and makes me less stressed about the amount of things I need to do)

hygiene page- this page is actually so so good its like a cheat code- If you take nothing else from this post at least take this idea: the top (orange) section is for the morning, the bottom (blue) section is for the evening. in the morning all the cards will be in the morning section, when I finish a task I get to move it to the evening section (repeat this for all 6 tasks). in the evening I do the tasks again but the cards get moved to the morning section this time. (if there's a day where I didn't finish then I just move them anyways the next morning as a "reset") this page is in my book but it's probably more helpful just to leave it in the bathroom on the counter or mirror or something (without systems like this I cannot take care of my basic needs, even with these supports and the additional supports in my home i cannot reliably take care of my basic needs)

images 6-9 show some of the word storage pages, I have a total of 10 of these pages

if you're curious at all how i made it let me know and i will post the steps i did to make it and where I got all the pictures!! (I want everyone to be able to access systems like these if they need them, so I am very open to sharing this)

something i really really like about this flip book is that its very tactile and very visual- it does not require very much brain power to use- I really like to just move around the pieces on the pages with the velcro as a stim

i was promted to do this because recently a teacher told me I just need to manage my schedule better and that I should be trying harder (little does she know I'm trying my hardest already)

ive tried so many types of schedules and routines and I just cant stick to them (this is one reason I suspect adhd in addition to my autism but idrk and it probably doesnt matter), but then after she said that I was like okay I guess this is a good excuse to try a visual schedule so I made one (very time consuming but also fun) and then am still disapproved of for some reason... I think she thinks its "too childish/I'm not disabled enough" which I disagree because if it helps and they need it then they should use it regardless of sterotypes- i think this is true for all adaptive tech and disability aids

my point in showing this is to let other autistc adults know that you can use visual schedules if they help you and to boost someone else's confidence for them to use an aid they are afraid to because its stigmatized (also yes mine looks kind of simple/etc but I chose to do it this way because it works good for my brain like this- not because its how all visual schedules should/need to look)

[respondedinkind]

Quick (long) update.

|| I know I haven't been around in a hot minute, thought I'd give a quick update.

Sorry for vanishing like this, life has been a little wild recently; I started therapy a few weeks ago, next to me finding joy in a new game where I slipped into the fandom (rather hard lol) and realized that I am, right now, much happier with doing art and creating fics rather than RPing.

This might sound a little odd to some - but the thing is, my brain simply doesnt hold enough energy to do *all* the creative things I want to do. For example: RPing is incredibly fun but also *incredibly exhausting*, and whenever I put a lot of time into RPing, I am literally unable to do art or write fics. It's taking so much of my creative-energy-meter that it's empty quick, leaving me with being frustrated as I don't really get to create anymore.

So I decided to pursue creating art as well as writing fics for now, which means I basically vanished from RP tumblr in return. I know this might be frustrating to some - especially my writing partners - and I want to apologize for that, for said frustration I might have caused.

But it is what it is, and I am not going to change much about it anytime soon. I am actually feeling rather happy about being able to do art, write fics, and *not* worry about writing replies and possibly making partners wait. It's a sort-of-pressure that I've taken off of my own shoulders...

Which is needed right now as I, as mentioned, also started therapy. It's going to be a journey, and I was just diagnosed with general anxiety as well as depression (which could actually be a 'double-depression' on top of it, means it is a chronic depression as well as an 'episodic depression'). It feels... incredibly relieving, in a way, to finally have an official diagnosis and to know that yes, something IS going on with me, I am not just crazy in my head and/or lazy. However, the whole therapy-thing is only going to get harder from here on and I am already working on things that have been talked about, think about them in my head, work with what I have realized about myself and try to handle it.

I do have a whole diagnose-session going on in August for ADHD / Autism as well, which will *also* require a good chunk of my energy. So yeah, things are happening.

Long story short: I decided to put my priorities elsewhere for now, for my own mental health's sake, and my happiness. Reducing stress was *needed*, especially since I am only going to be more stressed while working on me, on my diagnosis, and on all the problems I finally want to be able to figure out and address, possibly solve. ---Something also happened in my private life a couple of months ago that basically, let's call it 'triggered', my sudden energy to finally ask for help after trying to handle everything for literal decades. So yeah. It's been a yeah so far lol.

I want to thank each and every single one of you for having been with me, RPed great stories, formed companionships over weeks and months; I won't delete this blog nor do I plan to 'archive it'. I'll just leave it like this and maybe, who knows, I will return to it (and my other blogs) at some point. I just don't want to put stress on me as in 'I will come back in x day / months', I'll just see where life takes me and when I find the energy to be here again, I will.

I love Khan, love Stephen, love Bones. I haven't lost my love for them, my attention is just elsewhere. (Including that cute game I have been playing, falling in love with some characters...)

I wish you all the best, sending you lots of vibes, happy thoughts, my eternal gratitude and some strength for whatever you need to deal with in your life. Remember that you are loved, that your thoughts are valid, that you are worth it. ♥

-waves-

PS: I do miss you, the people I formed friendships with. I miss you, our RPs, our conversations. In case we have been interacting much on here, but not actually exchanged other ways of staying connected besides tumblr - discord, for example - you are absolutely allowed to hit me up and I'll give you my discord. ♥