#I am probably a sad person for writing this aren't I

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[happyhauntt]

— march fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.

a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in march that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!

grishaverse.

➡ kaz brekker.

what do you want from me by @rubysunnday. notes: literally perfect wtf.

dark days by rubysunnday. notes: i reread this literally constantly, it is so perfect, kaz's characterisation is perfect, i adore it.

bloody hands by rubysunnday. notes: i devoured this whole thing like a starving person it was sO good.

when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds. notes: this is so beautiful honestly i have no words.

the lost princess by @ellewritesalright. notes: look it's only part one but elle is a fucking wizard and i'm a sucker for an anastasia au.

you and me (a whole lot of history) by @heliads. notes: this was so cute and such a clever concept i fell in love!!!

schat by @amourology. notes: fully choked this is so adorable.

soulmate by @magpiencrow. notes: KAZ BREKKER SOULMATE AU didn't know i needed this but now i need 100 more!!!!

➡ nikolai lantsov.

nine long years series by @ellewritesalright. notes: i am actively fucking screaming over this fic. i will never stop. this might genuinely be the best thing i've read in a LONG while. everything about it has me sobbing i actively CANNOT COPE. and it's not even finished yet.

one of us by @songofpatrochilless. notes: literally had me sobbing you don't understand the domesticity of it all!!!!!.

come on back to me by @atlabeth. notes: there is a very strong chance that i'll literally never stop screaming about this fic.

dreams of you by @wh0refornikolailantsov. notes: every cell in my body is SCREAMING.

this love by @lantsovsupremacist. notes: did not, in fact, give you permission to hurt me like this do it again.

salt in the wound by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: brain goes brrrr this has everything i need to survive tbh.

wanting was enough by @rubysunnday. notes: beautiful stunning magnificent i want to eat it.

an exhausted smile by @writing-havoc. notes: think i had an aneurysm reading this it was that amazing.

run away with me by @sumsebien. notes: i am still sobbing over this.

in emerald hearts, emerald minds by @undiscovered-horizon. notes: love love love love love. there aren't enough words in any language to describe how much i love this.

➡ alina starkov.

alina starkov x reader by @heliads. notes: alina does not get nearly enough love and this was so fucking sad and cute and brilliant.

➡ nina zenik.

the ten steps to 'i love you' by @sophierequests. notes: this was SO HEARTWARMING AND SWEET i adored it!!!

➡ zoya nazyalensky.

forget-me-nots by @syllvane. notes: not enough zoya fics on this hellsite. but also this ripped my heart out and made me sob so RUDE. i feel devastated.

➡ inej ghafa.

inej ghafa x reader by @heliads. notes: INEJ MY SWEET BABY, this fic is everything to me. everything. and it's so beautifully written!!!

➡ the darkling.

the dark side of the moon series by @myhairpintrigger. notes: this fic is ASTOUNDING. i haven’t cried this much reading something in a long time. i was FULL-BODY SOBBING. i don’t even like the darkling. i am Not a darkling girlie. but i was intrigued by concept of this fic and i can safely say it has ruined my life. this is Emotional Damage Incarnate. i will never recover. author, i salute you.

911.

through the smoke by @borntobewondering. notes: spent twenty whole minutes sobbing after reading this. i felt undone i felt hollow i felt so utterly fucked. author is a genius and that's all there is to say.

not so one night stand by @shmaptainwrites. notes: this was so fuckin adorable i'm in love.

d.c. to l.a. by shmaptainwrites. notes: bobby my guy just doesn't get enough fucking credit and this is so fucking adorable.

criminal minds.

➡ spencer reid.

trouble almost all my life by @januaryembrs. notes: this series is. it's literally. everything. i love bugsy like she's my own child. sister relationships are everything to me. i spent an hour sobbing in my bed over parts 2 and 3. i want this tattooed on my forehead.

➡ aaron hotchner.

found by @benedictscanvas. notes: DADDY i mean what. all jokes aside this was so sweet and beautiful and i'm in love the writing!!!

doctor who.

rage rage (against the dying of the light) by @morganas-pendragons. notes: felt feral after reading this. kayla just gets me in my feels every time.

heartbeat by morganas-pendragons. notes: this was the most emotional devastating thing i've ever read and i fully needed 3-5 business days to recover. rude. i want 100 more.

untitled by morganas-pendragons. notes: PAIN i love this so much.

ache by morganas-pendragons. notes: just scoop my heart out of my fucking chest i don't want it anymore after reading this.

a mind full of blissful terrors by @magiccath. notes: simply fucking amazing.

light in the dark by @i-imagine-my-doctor. notes: screaming please i adore this so much.

baby talk by @kisstherainwriting. notes: THE ABSOLUTE CUTIEST EVER. there's not enough clara fics and this had me squealing and feeling all warm and fuzzy!!!

holding my hand by kisstherainwriting. notes: angst galore this was STUNNING.

in another's eyes by @cas-kingdom. notes: PERFECTION.

where do we go now series by @theetherealbloom. notes: literally so fucking amazing i don't have enough words.

marauders.

the winner takes it all by @ellecdc. notes: brb faye is having a STROKE--

come back, be here series by ellecdc. notes: i think i had a full on stroke while reading this series. the attention to detail is insane. the characterisation is perfect.

i don't know you anymore (maybe i never really did) by @thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels. notes: SCREECHING i'm in love you don't understand.

bridgerton.

➡ anthony bridgerton.

distractions by @peterpparkrr. notes: simply immaculate.

right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch. notes: did you mean one of my favourite tropes bc this is it.

right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & @thirteenisles. notes: i felt feral after reading this tbh.

➡ sibling!reader.

reluctant caretaker by @rubysunnday. notes: this fic hit my heart in all the right places okay sibling stuff means everything to me.

did she have a cookie by rubysunnday. notes: a joyous read from start to finish i CACKLED the whole way through.

moon knight.

come back to me by @mgparker. notes: still sobbing. immaculate.

the other sarcophagus by @starryevermore. notes: i literally reread this constantly i adore it so much!!

marc spector x reader by @softlyspector. notes: i had an aneurysm reading this and i haven't been the same since.

more marc spector x reader by softlyspector. notes: i am having an intense emotion hold on. anytime i see autistic stuff in canon content for any fandom i SQUEAK. and this is so well done honestly.

star wars.

heartless by @youvebeenlivingfictional. notes: i reread this constantly, it's so amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and i want to eat it.

little talks by @light-yaers. notes: you simply do not understand how much i adore everything beff writes. i adore this fic more than i need oxygen to breathe.

right where you left me series by light-yaers. notes: personality-defining series. i LIVE for this fic. every update adds five years to my lifespan. if you're not reading this you are MISSING OUT.

a light, a song, a bluebird by @millllenniawrites. notes: made me SOB 10/10 would recommend if you like emotional trauma.

invisible string by @campingwiththecharmings. notes: pining!!! loneliness!!! i adore!!!

hard landings by @softlyspector. notes: no. no you don't understand. this fic doesn't just own my soul it is my soul. i want it tattooed on my face.

misc.

hopper x reader by @luveline. notes: you don't understand this might be the cutest shit i've ever read and jade is a fellow welsh person which automatically makes them brilliant in my book.

muña by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: alicent means fucking everything to me and this had me sobbing.

mistletoe magic by @writingsbychlo. notes: literally the cutest fucking thing ever, had me kicking my legs and squealing!!

[naamahdarling]

Two days ago and I was comfortable enough that this was the right choice that I was able to make the call to have Smooch put to sleep. I am sure now. I wish I weren't. It hurts to see him like this. The vet is out or I would move it forward. We could do the emergency vet but I literally do not think I could do it without our vet and my favorite nurse. That feels selfish but when she answered the phone yesterday the comfort was... astonishing.

I'm trying to prepare. I've been waiting for this for a long time, which is why it's bearable at all. I have entertainment, I have an art project to memorialize him ready to go for whenever I feel like it. I have plans to make a couple of keepsakes. But there's going to be a hole in my life so much bigger than his frail little body. It's the end of part of me. He has been there in my future for so long, thinking about not having him there is like vertigo, or a reverse haunting of some kind. It's a Wrongness, part of the world about to be unmade. He is genuinely part of my identity. I'm all these things that I consider core parts of me -- queer, funny, creative, curious, a little clever, loving, an artist, a survivor, my friends' friend, my blood sister's sister, my chosen sister's sibling, my father's daughter, my boyfriend's partner...and I'm Dried Pickle Man's person.

Here at home IRL and online, and everywhere I go, to almost anyone I speak to at all, I have been his human for 13 years and 27 days.

And that isn't enough apparently, because Sid, too, is slipping away. I...I don't know that we can save him, either. His digestive issues are keeping him from eating, we can't stop the flare, a feeding tube won't fix it, meds aren't helping him. He's losing weight very fast. Vet is at a loss. I usually have a pretty good idea of what to do next or what needs to happen. I have nothing for him. The specialist might know. How the hell do we keep affording it?

And Raleigh. Oh god. Raleigh. If we can't afford the surgery or if it fails. What do we do?

What if we lose all three?

What if my boyfriend loses BOTH his boys? Raleigh alone is going to devastate him. Not just sad, like ordinary grief, I mean I have never ever in my life seen an animal love a human this much.

He's already struggling with his depression and ADHD. He will suffer and there is nothing I can do to stop this all from happening. I can't dig into a hidden well of trying harder, I can't outsmart it. I can't comfort him by saying that it is hard but possible to influence this. I hate seeing him in pain.

And I'm scared for me. I am afraid it will just ruin him and I will lose him too, until and unless he can recover. And I already spend so much time alone. Even my art is...gone. Too painful. Writing isn't really possible, either. My body barely feels like mine these days. I have so fucking little to hang on to. My cats are one of the last things I have of myself. One of the only good things I have in my day to day life.

It's all an absolutely terrifying cascade. Unlike a lot of situations where I'm scared of the future, this isn't me afraid of unlikely scenarios that are several crises away. This is very real. And I'm usually not scared for my boyfriend like this.

It won't kill us. You can come back from something like this, probably, I know people survive much worse and I'm bombarded with reminders of that a dozen times a day. But it can take such a long time to come back, and...sometimes you just...Come Back Wrong.

I'm not often genuinely completely helpless. I am helpless now.

[fluxweeed]

hi i'm a grouchy old hag muttering to myself in my hut in the woods

1. not everyone finds it hurtful to find out that people are discussing their fic in private discord servers or on tiktok, actually. i for one passionately don't care that people aren't only mentioning my fic where i can see it. ofc i'm curious when one fic gets a sudden unexplained boost in kudos for a few days. am i HURT that i don't know exactly where the new readers are coming from? am i upset that the boost in hits/kudos isn't accompanied with a flurry of praise? am i sad that i can't jump into the discussion? i am not.

2. the messaging of "okay but you wouldn't post the fic if you didn't enjoy validation" makes me want to delete my ao3 immediately kasdjhfg. people post things for all sorts of reasons thank u!! my personal motivation is i'm trying to make myself feel better about making imperfect things!! the idea that by posting fic i'm inherently coming across as seeking praise makes me want to throw up. (since this discussion started, i've considered disabling comments on my fic for this reason – but i'm worried that move is so non-standard that it'll end up coming across even MORE that i want attention, so i haven't taken the plunge yet)

3. i also pretty firmly disagree with "commenting on fic builds community!" (i made this joke in a grouchy bluesky rant already so if u saw that pretend u didn't) but personally i feel the community spirit when i'm in a server discussing which weasley has the biggest dick (percy). i don't feel it when people are being nice to me in my fic's comments. i'd almost go as far as to say community CAN'T be built when one person is praising another bc there's an inherent imbalance. sure, writers can mutually read and comment on each other's fic and become friends/community co-members that way, but what if u don't write? who's in YOUR comments telling u how great u are? idk about anyone else, but when i am in a community space (like a discord server) and someone starts being nice about my fic, i feel awkward. the focus shifts from a shared enjoyment onto something inherently UNshared, because one person is the creator and the others are readers. that's not to say that these interactions shouldn't happen, but imo it's disingenuous to say that's the core of fandom community.

4. i really can't stress enough how crazy it makes writers when they're writing for praise/validation. i've had conversations with very well-known drarry writers where they've been genuinely upset that nobody is reading their fic (the fic in question had hundreds of comments). i've had conversations with people who take part in fests, only to continually sort the works by stats and feel awful that theirs isn't at the top. i've had conversations with people who have had multiple devastating life events happen to them so they're struggling to write, and the lack of New Fic Comment Validation makes them feel 10x worse. i can't help but feel like if you ARE posting for feedback (or "recognition" or however you want to package it), it's genuinely not good for your brain.

5. obviously there's nuance to all of this! it's a big topic! but notice how we're talking about it on tumblr, not in ao3 comments. it would probably be even more productive in a discord server. in a voice chat. you know – fandom community spaces like that.

6. can y'all keep the next round of discussions to like 700 words max pls lmao i have stuff to do

[noroi1000]

Hello! Can I request something like the day you became his mate (werewolf au) but this time with gojo? I really enjoyed the geto fic!! You're really an amazing writer you got me into jjk again so thank you for that. I hope you have a wonderful day! You can delete this if you aren't taking request with the honored one event (which I really love)

I want to have a Mate

Author: I am very glad that you like my works. I appreciate it very much. And I love you all Anon-chan. I don't accept requests for the event, but I did it as a normal request outside of the event. You wrote to me just when my requests were open, so there was no problem. This is pretty short because I still have a lot to write for you. But I tried to make it good

Werewolf Gojo x reader

Warnings: Short NSFW

Words: 1,4k

Summary: Gojo wanted a mate. And I really wanted to feel what it was like. And suddenly you appeared, Shoko's friend. He couldn't miss the opportunity when he probably found a mate.

"I want to have a Mate."

"What?"

"You know... Moments when you have a mate are nice..."

"Satoru, are you suddenly talking about wanting a mate? What happened to you?"

"You want a mate too! Say it straight! Everyone wants a mate! I want one too!"

"You know it's not fun?" he asked with a smile. "Mate is the person you will be with for the rest of your life."

"I want mate..."

"I know... You said yourself that everyone wants a mate..." He leaned on the bench they were sitting on.

"How am I supposed to find a partner?" he asked.

His ears appeared on his head, as did his tail under his hoodie.

Something he liked to do because it looked cool.

His ears drooped slightly as he was slightly sad about it.

"You have to search. You can't be sure who it will be or when. You just have to walk among people. Your intuition will guide you."

"Do you think it'll be a woman or a man?" White Hair asked for no reason.

"Who?" He looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"My mate."

"Heh... Satoru, no one knows who your mate will be! You'll know when you meet her or him. Besides, does it matter?" He chuckled lightly.

"Only a female mate will give me puppies in the future, right?"

His dark-haired friend widened his eyes.

"Who are you and what have you done with my friend." He pointed at him.

"Hah?'

"The Satoru I know never talked about having kids!"

"Isn't it obvious that I'd like to have a Mate and then maybe puppies?!"

"My friend is coming. So I'm leaving soon. I don't have time to spend all day here." He stood up, rubbing his temple.

"T-Wait!" shouted Gojo, getting up.

Geto turned to look at him.

"When will I know that someone is destined for me as a mate?"

He smiled slightly.

His friend was probably old enough to think about it.

Every one of their species wants a mate.

And that comes at different points in time.

The fact that his friend talked about mate now only means that he really wanted to.

"The first time you met." He said. "I met my mate in a store. And then I had to work to prevent her from getting married."

"At least you have a mate..." he suddenly leaned over his friend's shoulder and looked at the woman who was walking towards them. The dark haired man smiled. "Who is it?"

"Suguru." The girl called as she approached them.

"Hello." He said with a smile.

"Shoko told me to go with you, so let's go." You pointed to the road behind you.

"Where are you going?" asked the White Haired.

"Oh, Satoru, that is (y/n), we met when Shoko invited us to her birthday party. She is a friend of Shoko. (y/n), this is Satoru."

"Hello." You smiled slightly at him, looking at the ears on his head, which turned more forward as you spoke to him.

"We're going to Shoko. She probably wants to beat me again for something. We'll meet after that."

White Hair's ears couldn't stop hearing your voice.

His eyes couldn't stay away from you. He felt his heart beating faster.

His tail involuntarily began to fluff and waved slightly from side to side.

He felt something pulling him towards you.

And his friend's words echoed in his ears. Mate can be recognized so suddenly. When least expected...

Did he just...

Did he just meet someone who is supposed to be his mate?

"We can talk?" he asked, turning his head to the side.

Suguru nodded his head, also telling you to wait a while.

Gojo remembered you.

At Shoko's birthday. You were pretty cool. But he didn't talk to you much.

And now... Are you his mate?

Standing behind a tree, Geto looked at his friend's strange behavior.

"Satoru, what's going on?" he asked, watching its tail.

"You said mate can be found anytime..." he said more quietly, and held his tail in his hand as he still couldn't stop waving it.

The black haired man froze for a moment.

"Wait... Did you just...?!" he took a step back.

Gojo turned his head to the side, a tiny blush on his cheek.

"Did you just see your mate in (y/n)?!"

The white haired man crossed his arms over his chest.

"Shoko will kill you!"

"I was at her birthday, I already met her... So maybe..."

"But-" he muttered, not knowing what to say.

"You also met your mate suddenly." He groaned, and suddenly came out from behind the tree. Going your way.

"Satoru." he called.

He turned around for a moment.

"You can't just walk up to her and say she's your mate!"

"Why not?"

"Because she's not a werewolf, she's a human."

"You also have a human mate."

"It's the same as with a normal relationship. You have to get to know her and make her feel something for you. You can't just walk up and do what you want!"

"Tch... Fine..." he groaned, looking offended and sad.

"Do not be sad. I know she'll like you. As long as you're nice to her. And you won't be talking about mate and puppies right away."

"Do you really think so?!" He said suddenly pleased.

"Invite her on a date, meet her. But don't you dare earn her anything. Shoko will kill you and me for this."

"If Suguru found out... Ah... He'd kill me..." He moaned before connecting your lips with his.

As he pushed his hips into yours. Feeling you tremble under him.

Surely you were with him faster than mate Suguru with him.

This was what he could be proud of.

Because after only five dates alone, and about three times together, you became a couple.

Until finally he told you that you are his mate. Because he sensed it from the very first meeting.

He kept putting his face against your neck as you cuddled, and when he finally explained to you why he was doing it, you made a difficult decision.

He loved you sincerely.

You fell in love with him too.

The fact that he's a werewolf made him fall in love with you. You were attracting him as his destined mate.

That's why you were in a difficult position.

Once you agree to be his mate and not just his girlfriend, you'll be with him for the rest of your life.

He was already jealous and acted like a brat most of the time, not letting you go where he couldn't and knew there might be another guy.

You don't mind him and you love him.

But being his mate will mean he won't see the world outside of you. That he will only care about you. He will look after you.

Especially when you heard from Suguru that you have to be careful because Satoru is neither an omega nor a beta werewolf. Satoru, like Suguru, is an alpha.

And alphas are always on guard and sometimes overprotective of their omega partner.

In your case, it was you.

Suguru told you to think about it. Because if you do, you will be "bound to Satoru for the rest of your life and nothing will ever separate you."

You had a difficult choice.

To listen to your friend who wanted to take care of you, or to listen to your heart telling you that you love Satoru and are able to live with him for the rest of your life as his mate.

You chose what you wanted.

That's why you were lying under a tall, handsome, white-haired werewolf who spread your legs possessively to show the dominance of the alpha male over the omega.

You won't be able to fully understand this Alpha-Omega just yet. But when you spend the rest of your life with him, you'll learn even more.

You moaned loudly as he drove his hips into yours, holding your bodies in that position.

"He told you to make a choice... Huh..." he laughed, licking your neck before his sharp teeth came out and grated against your skin. "And you chose what you wanted, didn't you?"

You shivered as he pressed harder into you.

"I could have chosen... Between keeping you at a distance so I had time to think... Ngh... Or going to you right away..."

"And a good girl chose to be my mate~." He smiled at you with a toothy grin. "Little omega mate for big, strong alpha..."

All you heard was his chuckle in your ears and your heart beating.

"You chose very well." He laughed in a low voice, and looked at your neck, licking his lips. "I wanted my mate. And now I have. And I will have forever."

And suddenly he dived in to grab your skin on the side of your neck in his teeth to bite and leave marks.

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[laroserie]

i probably won't extend of that expect if people want me to (still scared of getting told to kms for writing about hh or hb) but !

the idea of (yandere? not necessarily but i am a yandere fan) Alastor whose darling/the reader is a baker!

the reader is of course a sinner, but they aren't someone that ended up in hell for something like murder or a really big sin, something more silly, petty. they were in hell for a while, they accepted that they were stuck there and decided to just keep on 'living'

so they open up a bakery, maybe they were a baker when they were alive or maybe they just like to bake - either way, they open their little bakery in a part of the ring of hell that is kinda better off then the rest, one part where their store is less likely to get burned down.

they will somewhat peacefully - outside of when the extermination happen, they fear for their life - and they still aren't sure as to how they survived that many years in hell. and they often have to get their shop fixed up after the yearly extermination. that bit is annoying but outside of that, life is as peaceful as life in hell can be.

before Alastor disappeared for seven years, he used to be a somewhat regular customer, you made some pretty good breads and pastries. it was when he was starting to get more and more powerful as an overlord so you were very much on the verge of passing out everytime he came in the store and tried to limit the amount of words shared between the two of you. you never knew if you ever slipped and ended up offending him, you didn't want to be an another one of those broadcasted scream.

but once he reached his peak, a few years before his disappearance, you stopped being this tensed up around him, you started engaging in small talks with him, it wasn't anything extraordinary, mostly centering around the weather and what he choose to buy this time. at some point you even started to ask him to sample one of your creation before officially selling it.

you ended up being somewhat attached to the radio overlord.

and then he ... was gone. for seven years. you were somewhat sad about this, but you were not THAT close to him so you get over it.

but one day, while going about your day, while serving a customer you hear something weird, about a certain overlord being back.

you don't really believe in it, until you hear one of his broadcast, a small smile creep on your face hearing it. you're happy to hear him again, to know he is still alive and well. but you don't expect to see him in person or anything like this, you doubt he even remember you but one day, one morning shortly after you opened the bakery - you heard the little noise made from the bell of the entrance alerting you that someone has opened the front door, and you see him.

without thinking much, you smile at Alastor and give him a warm 'Good morning !' and again, without thinking you add 'It's been a while, glad to see you're back.' you only realize that one of the most powerful overlord could not like a measly sinner to talk to them like they are a friend when they are barely acquaintances that haven't seen each others in seven years.

but before you can correct yourself and let out a ton of 'sorry please don't kill me' Alastor answer you with a 'Hm, yes it's been quite some time. I am glad to see you still running this bakery dear.'

you simply nod at him and decide to ask what you ask every customers 'So what will you get today ?'.

[olderthannetfic]

I'm so, so tired of seeing proshippers try to support proshippers getting sent death threats, rape threats, suicide bait, etc. with "don't let the assholes win!" Oh so you don't give a shit about the minor being dogpiled, this is just about an us vs. them thing. Cool cool. Uh, here's the thing, though - maybe the person on the other side of the screen is a person, and thus this "SPITE! Write more out of SPITE and HATE and HATE HARDER THAN THE HATERS!" is going out to a normal-ass human being. And normal-ass human beings are not shounen protagonists who rise up and overcome their rivals out of spite and make a bunch of friends along the way and live for the rivalry yadda yadda. They're just... people. And you're responding to their pain with, "if you take a break from writing you're letting other people win. You're losing. You're failing. Breaks are loser behavior. You're LETTING the people harassing you win, because you suck."

Recently two major authors in my tiny fandom quit and the response from the proship contingency of the fandom has been, "FIGHT THE ANTIS!" "Don't let them win!" and I'm at a loss trying to explain this but like... some people don't want their hobby to be fighting other people. Some people didn't start writing in order to go "I'll show them!" they started writing because they had a cool idea for a story they wanted to tell. Not all of us enjoy "tormenting the antis through good art", to quote one person in my fandom. Sometimes someone just wants to write a story and share it with other people and have people enjoy it.

It's really wild to be the odd one out here but am I the only one who sees "don't let them win! spite! spite should motivate you!" and goes, "I was a depressed teen once and I think that wouldn't have motivated me to do anything"? Because seriously, the fact that no one has expressed anything along the lines of 'you didn't deserve that hate' or 'I hope you're okay' or 'take care of yourself' would probably have made me feel worse as a teen, not better.

IDK, maybe I'm the freak for thinking this is not an optimal approach. I just fail to see this as an inspiring refrain to throw at younger people in fandom. It feels fairly hollow.

(And to the fandom olds about to go "fandom was even worse back in my day, you kids would never have survived" - you realize that's worse, right? That doesn't rebut anything, it just makes me sad for you in addition to young writers. Maybe fandom always sucking is a problem, not a plus. Just a thought.)

--

This particular type of death threat wasn't common back then... but neither is what you describe, in my experience. People who are adjacent to a target often do say more empathetic things, and a fair amount of the "respond with spite" is not to someone leaving over death threats but to more commonplace annoyances that are going to occur at one's local writer's circle and anywhere else.

No, self-styled "proship" circles aren't particularly nice a lot of the time, but this hand-wringing is silly.

Besides, why are you sending me nagging posts projecting onto Olds instead of support? ;)

(I know, I know: it's because I actually am a shounen protagonist.)

[sundrop-writes]

Hello! Someone reposted your work(s) over wattpat, their username is @smileybannana

Just wanted to let you know, have a nice day!

I actually reactivated my old dead wattpad account just to look into this, and I (fortunately) didn't see anything of mine within the chapters of stolen Harry Potter fanfiction that they posted. so it seems like you're probably copy/pasting this as a mass message to people who write Harry Potter x reader stuff (and likely Avengers x reader stuff, because that is the other main fandom that the person has stolen from, but I don't write for avengers at all) - thank you for informing me and other people, but they haven't stolen from me specifically

EDIT: WHILE I WAS GOING THROUGH AND MAKING THE TAGLIST, I FOUND MINE 🤦‍♀️ RIP. See this asshole couldn't even be creative enough or smart enough to steal the fucking titles too, so I was looking in the wrong chapters. That was a goddamn jumpscare

accounts like this are absolutely scummy as fuck. copy/pasting other people's fics and 'giving credit' to the original author (aka putting the person's username at the top, likely without any permission to repost the fic) - luckily, that means I can tag all those people in this post <3

here is the account in question:

and here is a link to the Harry Potter fics they have re-posted

EDIT - the Harry Potter fanfics have been taken down/deleted from this person's account since I posted this!! We did it 💖

I am unsure about the Avengers fics, but I hope those are taken down too/get taken down soon.

the list of victims: @ginevraapng | @lolawassad | @pasukiyo | @t-thathandsomedevil | @skyebounded | @sweetiecutie | @priniya | @dracoxsworld | @grangerhater | @kmt123whatsthetea | @grangersnotes | @msvanillalatte | @august126 | @siriussslut | @deeseelovez | @emeritusemeritus | @duchesstypewritter | @demieyesore | @ggwendolyn | @writingbychlo | @fangirlshrieks | @writerpetals | @mrsmikaelsxn | @what-the-jam | @jokingcutio | @berrieluv | @callmeleobaby | @bitchyycapricorn | @thomasisaslut | @inlovewithgreta | @marauderssimper | @plscallmeeren | @theosbaby | @justagayperson-2024 | @cissyenthusiast010155 | @konaanaria13 | @jessybarnes | @strawberrysodaslut | @slytherweasley | @mattyriddlesbitch | @elliotsblunt | @braveclementine | @rip-us-xoxo | @kitty-tea | @hallowdeath | @ohwowimlonley | @muntitled | @cherrycolacigs | @distantdarlings | @peachigummi | @myfictionaldreams |

I was planning on going through and tagging victims from the other stories as well, but Tumblr only allows 50 tags per post and I think I have reached that. Holy fuck it is so sad that this many people have had their fics stolen, especially because a lot of these authors have more than one of their fics stolen by this awful scummy person. If you know someone in the Avengers fandom who writes x reader fics, please send them the links to the fics below so that they can check of their story has been stolen and they can report it!!!

and here is a link to one of their Avengers thievery

and here is a link to the second set of stolen Avengers fics

so please, even if these aren't your fics, please report the account and have them taken down!!! stealing fics is so scummy and nasty, when those fics are on tumblr, you can just reblog them if you appreciate them and enjoy them

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key to Your Heart - Track 1

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably.

Word Count: 1.9K

Series List: Here!

Thank you for checking it out :) let me know what you think. I made this probably more wordy and personal than I should've... OOF.

The clock was nearing 4 AM when, with a sniffle, you closed the app you were on and clicked the power button on your phone. A single tear ran down your face as you rolled on your side and hoped that maybe in your dreams you could experience the love you craved so desperately. For the past few hours, and every night you didn't have work in the morning, or had free time before bed, you would read fanfiction. You knew people had a lot of poor opinions about fanfic, but the best thing about them is that unlike other stories, you were in these. You could imagine it was you in the story spending time with your favorite characters.

The worst part of fanfiction, however… is when you realize it isn't real and won't ever happen. Sure, you can imagine it, and you can feel the emotions and even give yourself pleasure at the thoughts, but when it wears off, you realize that it's just you. You're alone, and not your mind, nor your hands, can give you what you truly want. What you need.

You aren't so dumb or delusional as to think it's real, or to think you have a chance. If your own mind didn't tell you that enough, your family and friends would remind you plenty. At the mention of your crush, you'd get comments that had a playfulness, or childlike connotation at the idea of you crushing on someone famous. If not that, you'd get pity, or told you should put yourself out there and find someone you actually have a chance with… as if you chose to have these feelings. Why would you choose to fall in love with someone you have no chance with?

For a while, you could pretend it was just a crush and that you couldn't be in love with someone you've never met. But ultimately you accepted that it wasn't true. This isn't the first time, and you're sure it won't be the last. With the previous crush lasting several years, you knew you'd just have to wait it out. 

This time around, the crush was on Pedro Pascal. Current heartthrob of the world, starring in some of the most popular franchises of the time. If people didn't know his name, they certainly knew a character of his; unless they lived under a rock. 

With this information in the back of your mind, the fact that everyone knew him and everyone loved him and he could have anyone he wanted, you sighed, hoping it would finally get through your head, and rolled over to your other side. Unable to sleep, you pulled out your journal to write down your feelings before eventually drifting off, pen in hand.

Letting out a groan, you awoke too few hours later to your dog Skipper crying in your face. "Gotta pee, buddy? Alright.." You climbed out of bed and he spun in a circle before galloping through the house towards the patio door. Humming a song you don't yet know, you sit by the door and think about what you wrote the night before. It wasn't uncommon for you to write songs, and you found it comforting to play instruments and sing your feelings out into the lyrics. Although you often recorded and purchased the copyrights to your music, you never posted it.  Maybe someday…you always told yourself, pondering with the idea of some extra money. 

After letting the dog in, you sat at the piano with last night's journal and wrote a song which spilled your feelings for Pedro. You recorded it and went about your day, but it kept nagging you. Finally, after another sleepless night, you posted it onto some music streaming websites. Using a stage name of just your first nickname, you added the song, which you titled "Imaginary Love." It never mentions Pedro by name, only talking of the strong feelings you have for someone famous that you'll never be with. 

Once that was out of the way, you didn't check your accounts for several days. Eventually, however, you began receiving emails. Radio stations wanted to play your song, record companies wanted to sign you, they wanted an album. Your head swirled, and you agreed to put out an album with other songs you've written, still maintaining your stage identity. I'll just be like Hannah Montana, you thought, with a laugh of disbelief. 

About a month later, you and your music were still a mystery to people. People loved your song. People related to it. But of course, there were critics. Negative impressions spurred about you being childish, immature, naive, and silly. Others just wanted to know the gossip. Who were you? Where did you come from? And WHO were you singing about?!

Trying to ignore the chatter, you noticed a new interview of Pedro being posted, as advertisement for his newest film. Finally something to look forward to and get your mind off of this! Flicking on your television, you broadcast the interview of Pedro from your cell phone. Your heart skipped as you looked at him, his messy brown curls falling near his ears that held his large black framed glasses. His brown eyes twinkled as the interviewer talked to him about his work.

Eventually they broke into more casual conversation, discussing current favorite movies, what he last saw in theaters, what he's binge-watching, last concert he saw, and finally… the current song he can't stop listening to. 

"Oh, man… I can't stop listening to "Imaginary Love," he answered without hesitation, hand on his heart.

Your stomach lurched. Your heart stopped. You forgot how to breathe. What. The. Fuck. Shit shit shit shit shit. This can't. Be real. You rewound the video. This HAS to be a dream. But it wasn't. "Imaginary Love," he said. Oh. Crap. You replayed it several more times, but it didn't make it more real. The interviewer replied "oh… here we go. The song everyone is talking about! I am curious though, what are your thoughts on it? Who do you think it's about?" Pedro's smile faltered a bit at the man's tone, but he remained his usual genuine, sincere self when he answered. "I… I'm also curious about who she is and who the song is about, but I think that ultimately it's up to her whether she decides to reveal that. I think we can all relate to the pain of love, especially unrequited, and I think it's brave of her to share that level of open vulnerability with the world. I can't expect her to share more than what she already has."

Your heart fluttered.

Yet the interviewer continued. "Don't you think it's a little… I dunno… naive? I mean, you get it, you're in show business. The average kid really doesn't have a chance, and even more so, isn't it a little… creepy? The way she's put this guy on a pedestal? Claims she's in love with a man she doesn't even know?"

Pedro's fingers twitched around the base of the microphone, his eyebrows furrowed, and he slowly nodded while pondering his response. I can't watch this anymore.. His pause felt like a lifetime, and you couldn't handle the tension. The interviewer was an ass, but his words were nothing new. He was probably right... You are creepy and naive. You reached for the remote to turn off the television. It had only been a few seconds, but you couldn't bear the potential heartbreak that you knew would come. This is exactly why you haven't revealed yourself or the subject of your lyrics.

Pedro cleared his throat before speaking. "You're right… I am in show business and I get it. I get that in order to get what you truly want in life, we all seem a bit naive. I've spent my life trying to make it as an actor, sometimes struggling if it hadn't been for the help of my friends. I was naive, and I suppose a bit delusional. Obviously this is a bit different though. Unlike jobs, we can't choose who we love. I think we've all had celebrity crushes at some point in our lives."

Your breath was caught in your throat and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes. He doesn't even know you, and he's somehow able to reach into your lyrics to understand exactly how you feel without the judgment or pity you often feel from those who know you personally. And yet… the asshole interviewer kept on. Seriously dude… how long are you going to drag this on? Talk to Pedro about his achievements. Quit ranting. The interview has completely gone off the rails. "Okay.. I gotta ask though.." Ugh what now??! He continued, "this girl is a fan. The only thing she knows is what's made public. She's keeping her identity hidden but doesn’t seem to wonder what her so-called “love” is hiding from the world. Would you, as a celebrity, genuinely consider someone like her, a fan, if she came out and said the song was about you? I mean, would any of you out there? We're not just talking about a normal person, or even a slight fan. We're talking write-a-song-about-him level obsessed."

Pedro answered without hesitation. "Sure I would consider it. You can already feel her emotional vulnerability and passion. I think she's deserving of happiness just like anyone." If only you knew.. It is you, Pedro.. But your negative thoughts filled your consciousness. Like he'd want you.. he's almost twice your age.. look at yourself. He can have anyone he wants. He'd never actually choose you. Look at your blemishes. Your big stomach, flab, and stretch marks. Nobody has ever wanted you. You've never even been kissed, you fool. A grown adult.

You frowned and finished watching the interview, swept away in your self-hatred. You slunk onto the floor, cuddling your dog, seeking the only comfort you're able to receive. This is why I prefer animals, you think. They love you no matter what you look like or who you are.

A few days later, the events of Pedro's interview went viral, spurring both negative and positive responses.

"Pedro Pascal Defends Unknown Artist"

"Mandalorian Actor Slams Interviewer"

"Watch: Pedro Pascal Interview Gets Heated"

The headlines get more and more dramatic, acting as if fist fights broke out or a gun battle ensued. It was all pretty tame. A simple conversation of differing opinions. However… you still couldn't help but feel guilty that he put his own reputation on the line for you in a way. He doesn't even know you. What was in this for him, that he felt the need to defend you?

It was at this moment that you decided to log into Instagram from your stage artist profile. Hopping into the message section, you typed out Pedro Pascal and clicked his profile, writing out a message. "Hi Mr. Pascal! I recently watched your interview and I can't begin to express my gratitude towards you. I feel terribly guilty that this is beginning to weigh on your own image, but I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your defense, thank you for your support of my music, but most importantly, thank you for seeing my lyrics as they were meant to be… from my heart. Thank you for your kindness."

You tapped send and waited with bated breath. After ten minutes of staring at the screen, you decided you needed a break from the internet, dropped your phone, and went for a walk with Skipper.

Meanwhile, from the couch at home, your phone lit up with a notification.

Instagram

Pedro Pascal (pascalispunk): replied to your message

Thanks for reading!! Interested in track 2? Read it here!

[pacific-rimbaud]

ok so I'm obvs happy that you are, but what you said abt not writing was kinda sad. Tamsyn Muir isnt as well know as Colleen hoover, it doesnt mean that she didn't find her people, or that she is less talented, or that her ideas aren't inspiring. and yeah if Colleen hoover readers picked up a Tamsyn Muir book they would probably dnf it so what? who needs them anyway? this doesnt say anything about how much the right people aren't going to love Tamsyn's words or that she should give up on writing

This is ABSOLUTELY true, and thank you for saying it. People should write what's in their heart and put it out there if they want to. There are so, so many examples of people doing their own unique thing and finding success with it.

And I want to say with my whole chest that my need to step back from writing has nothing to do with feeling like my readership or stats were "not enough" in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. My whole life I've wanted to be a cult classic, and I am! It's been the honor of my creative life.

My considerations are solely around the economics of publishing and what would be sustainable for me personally as a working parent. Writing is extremely time consuming for me. I'm slow! It's an unfortunate fact. I also like to choose projects that require a lot of research. When I'm actively drafting, parts of my life that matter a lot to me are sidelined. And without going into gorey detail about traditional publishing, the likelihood I would ever be able to replace any part of my day job with writing is vanishingly small. Tamsyn's a genius and has earned every glorious genius dollar that comes her way. I'm a voicey writer with ideas like: Jane Eyre x Gosford Park but what if there was magic and communists and a love triangle that was resolved with polyamory? 🧐 Potion-induced bodice ripping in the Victorian magic lab! Actually i should write that.

Anyway, it all circles right back round to being a hobby. I have a job that my household relies on and kids who need help with their homework. If I can figure out how to keep the Victorian bodice ripping in a sensible compartment, I'll come back to it. But until that day! If I get good enough at pottery, I may be able to sell enough at the ceramics sale to pay for the class 😎

[lazyfandombean]

Psst, you!

Hey, hey you! Yeah, you! I've got a question for ya. Do you feel normal about SCC (Sweet Cap'n Cakes)?

-> Yes -> No

[❤️Yes] [Ohhhh, I see. You're in denial, aren't you? ;)]

[❤️No] [Aha! Just as I projected- I mean suspected! Suspected. Yeah.]

Well, I've got some GREAT news for you! Have you ever felt saddened by the lack of SCC-centric fanfiction? Specifically the kind that depicts them as brothers instead of bandmates or partners (no shade to those depictions btw)?

No? Shut up yes you have /j

Yes? Fantastic! Well, no, sorry that you're sad :/ BUT! Be sad no longer! For I've come to save the day!

In the form of my newfound SCC hyperfixation!!!

That's right!! I've been going crazy about The Guys™️ for the past week or so, but to my absolute SHOCK, there are hardly ANY fanfics for them!!! And almost all them revolve around them as a SHIP! And no offense, but I just don't like reading about ships all that much, sorry!!! :(

SO!!! How am I going to fix this dilemma, I wondered? But THEN! I remembered something!! Something very, VERY important:

'Oh yeah I'm a fanfic author.'

Is this me implying that I'm now writing a bunch of SCC fanfiction in a very roundabout way? YES YES IT IS! :D

In fact, I've already posted one on Ao3 and have turned it into a 'series'! By that I just mean that the 'series' is really just a place for me to dump all of my SCC-centric fics. I'll link the series here, BUT I'll also be cross-posting most, if not all, of those fics from Ao3 to here on Tumblr!

Oh also link btw:

But why am I talking about it like this on Tumblr, you ask? Introducing it in such a way when I could have just started posting SCC content? For two reasons!

One: Idk I just felt like it

Two: Because!! It has come to my attention that hardly anybody on Ao3 even reads SCC fanfiction.

And no, this isn't me begging for like... kudos or subscriptions (or followers, I guess it is on Tumblr? Idk I don't use it much) or anything like that. What I AM asking for is for people to read it. Not because I want to get popular, but because...

I am very self-conscious about the way I write SCC.

Well, to be honest I'm just self-conscious about the way I write any fictional character. It's actually the thing I worry about the most when it comes to fanfiction; whether or not I'm getting the personalities right. And I'm aware that it's more about how you perceive the characters, and that headcanons are a thing (I have plenty of them myself), but in my opinion, there's a line between having a headcanon and writing something ooc. Headcanons are fine, yes, and I use them a lot (especially when it comes to Undertale and Deltarune characters), but I feel like it can get to the point where it's so ooc that it doesn't even feel like the same character. And that's something I definitely don't want to happen when I write about my three favorite guys EVER. So basically, I'm asking people to read my fics specifically so I can get feedback on how to write the characters.

Why didn't I ask my friends? Bold of you to assume I have any /hj

But no fr, none of my friends play Deltarune, and I'm not even sure if any of them have heard of it. My sister has played before, but she never really got into it, and it's been so long that I doubt she would even remember who SCC are if I asked.

So, I've taken it to random strangers on Tumblr!

There's only one work in the series right now, but I'm currently working on another and have many more ideas sitting in a doc, waiting to be written! I'll also take requests if anyone has any (which I doubt will happen but anything's possible I guess), but before I post any more, I'd really like to get some feedback from... someone, I guess. I dunno I just really want to do them justice 😭

Anyways, that's all! Sorry that this was so long and probably annoying to read, I just thought it'd be funny but now I don't even know aldkdsfljk- but I'm leaving it like this because why not I guess

[pinkdreamcollectorsworld]

In regards to 9-1-1

I know a lot of people had a lot of mixed reactions to the recent episode, along with certain interviews that were dropped in the following days. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I'm not bothered by any of it. Because I am. I feel like I kinda got bitch slapped by the universe 😅 (and tim) (what the fuck tim) Whatever they had going on was nothing short of just plain lazy writing and shitty planning for certain plots.

That being said, I am so happy for chim and Maddie. I'm happy for Eddie and the fact that he's finding his joy again. It's good to see.

What I'm not happy with, is everything surrounding Buck and Tommy. The breakup to me felt kinda random, and the random line from Maddie about Abby "turning people gay" wtf?? And the whole conversation between Buck and Tommy in the loft. I'm not gonna dive into it because I'll just get kinda peeved all over again, both with Tommy's lines and Olivers interviews, it's just sad to see.

Ik there are people leaving the fandom, and show and there's some who aren't. I was gonna quietly slip out of the back door because getting into discourse with other people isn't my jam. But I wanted to be honest about where Im at.

My mental health hasn't been great lately. It hasn't been great last week with the election either. But before that I would have almost weekly bouts of anxiety about what direction the show was going with bucktommy. On top of that, It became harder to filter out discourse around the actors and show in general as well. So as you can guess it's been pretty stressful. Mix that with seasonal depression and you've got yourself a mess.

What I'm saying is I personally am taking a break from watching the show, probably until it returns in March since that's when hiatus ends and I won't be interacting at the same level as I was before within the fandom(still gonna lurk tho) because of how my mental health has been affected.

I had different little projects planned out for Bucktommy but because of the breakup it's kinda up in the air if I ever will get around to finishing them.

(lou has me in the divorce btw, and no I'm not elaborating I shouldn't have to)

Take care of yourself guys 💓

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 422 rant

For a MCs rising chapter this chapter definitely didn't revolve around the MC in any major way.

Izuku intropsection where, I have never heard of her! This is a major issue I have with how hori writes Izuku. Almost every character at least gets their pov probably said and presented in their rising chapters except of izuku whose own rising chapter felt like a true let down and disappointment to me

Inko is back! I guess. I was way more interested to what was happening to inko when izuku had to go through that whole painful process of losing his quirks and an arm and then regaining it but I guess she stayed in a default status and just crying for her son which understandable but i was expecting more from her. Heck I think I expected too much i thought that hori might do something with her character, something angst worthy. Heck I am seeing the dfo theorist and if it ends up being true then that would be cool angst potential but a horrible canon event considering that hori has stretched this far too long.

Izuku midoriya rising just for izuku to be a side character in this chapter. Like i said this is a rising chapter and we get almost nothing personal from Izuku himself no intropsection no nothing. This chapter was simply full of other characters reactions and trying to help him to get up and do his job which is sad. I don't know but how come no one in the story sees just how unethical and bad the situation is like that's a 16 year old boy running to his death basically on live television. Also Iam enjoying the izu and all might parallels yet Iam worried that this might actually be Izuku's last fight. Also aren't we gonna talk about AFO is attacking izuku with OFA's own quirks I just find it cruel.

Still not a huge fan of everyone needing to get their moments like this. Yeah my opinion didn't change I just felt like the moments and reactions were given to characters like asui and shoji and then we had to continue glossing over them. It feels Hella fast paced and at this point IAM not sure if hori wants to end or prolong the series🤷‍♀️. Also I had to check but can we talk about MOMO AND TORU LIKE !!!!

Melissa and Rody my favourites and Iam bias.

I wish we had more of ochako, iida and izu. Again another moment falls flat in there seires because we lack build up and development. I liked ochakos comment and the parallels with iida holding izu's hand and still holding it again but all of this seems empty because the original nerdy tiro that we had at the beginning of the series was scrapped for the boring todoroki, bakugo and izuku one. Heck we could of had an izucrew/dekusquad and that would of helped with the build up of this unlike what's going on now .

Bakugo didn't need to be mentioned in this chapter but he is 😑. As far as anyone can tell Iam not a fan of bakugo and I don't think he needed to be mentioned like the guy got his arc and whatever so why don't we just focus on the current situation instead of thinking about how we wished he was here with Izuku and all like it felt pretty useless.

In conclusion, it was an average meh chapter but I got annoyed considering the title being midoriya rising for it to not have any proper focus on midoriya.

Like I absolutely loved some of the character moments even though they lacked build up and were short AF but this chapter DOESN'T deserve to be called midoriya's rising.

[fangirleaconmigo]

On the topic of book scenes that were changed, one of them that interests me is the scene where it seems Geralt and Yen have died in The Last Wish. In the book, the mayor of the town starts to go on about how it’s so sad that Geralt died but don’t worry they’ll build him a statue. This greatly angers Dandelion and he yells at the mayor. In the show, Jaskier is the one who’s like “This is so sad, but don’t worry I’ll write the greatest ballad for Geralt!”. The complete change of the personality of the same character is what interests me. I love reading your analysis, so I was wondering if you have any thoughts on this. I know the change was probably for comedy purposes and that this is pretty insignificant, but to me, Dandelion’s reaction in the book just really screamed such a deep love for Geralt so I found the change a bit disappointing.

The Last Wish vs Bottle Appetites - Dandelion's reaction to Geralt's 'death'

Hi Nonny! Thanks for the ask. You sent this to me so very long ago, you may have completely moved on. BUT I figure if you aren't still interested, someone who follows me might be, so here I go:

Your ask is about a compare/contrast the book vs TWN scene where Geralt is presumed dead, and we’re comparing how Jaskier(Dandelion) react to his possible death, and how much emotional weight the scene is given.

I'll start by summarizing, but just a note: Dandelion does something in the books that I don't know how to interpret and maybe you (or anyone reading) can give their thoughts.

Ok, we’ll start with the show.

Bottled Appetites

In the show, the mayor and town dignitaries are not in the scene where Jaskier thinks Geralt is dead. It is just him and Chireadan looking at the building. Things are quiet, and Jaskier assumes they are dead.

"Are you sure they were up there? This can't be happening. This can't be happening."

I gotta say, Joey Batey, sells the emotion here. He has the most expressive eyes. He could do just about anything with any material, I think.

"Why did Geralt go in there, it doesn't make any sense...to save a mad fucking witch, why?"

It cuts away to Geralt and Yen. When it comes back to Jaskier, he is on his knees, assuming they are dead. Here is what he says:

"What am I supposed to do now, hm? It wasn't supposed to go this way. I'm going to write you the best song, so that everyone remembers who you were, what we did, everything we saw. And I will sing it, for the rest of my days. "

That is what you means as far as it seeming like he's giving up rather quickly. As he speaks, most of the camera work is on Chireadan, who goes to actually look whether they are dead. Chireadan stands in front of the window. At the end of his speaking part, the camera is back on Jaskier for the punchline.

"He always said I had the most wonderful singing voice."

And that’s the jokey joke. It references the b plot of Geralt feeling bad that he called Jaskier’s voice a ‘pie with no filling’. When Jaskier is hurt, Geralt says that he doesn’t want that to be the last thing Jaskier remembers.

Clearly, that would not be the last thing Jaskier remembers, because he will just change it to suit himself. It's a little of the ol’ Dandelion impenetrable ego performance.

And that is the 'piercing' of the dramatic moment you referenced.

But then Chireadan comes back.

"They're alive."

And Jaskier is like...

"Bollocks."

They go look in the window together, and see them having sex. Chireadan pulls Jaskier away.

The Last Wish

In the books, it's quite a different set up. 

Dandelion is with the Mayor (Neville) and Priest of Rinde (Krepp), while Geralt fights with Yen in the building. 

The reason for this reflects what I think is the biggest difference between the two stories-Yen.

Much like in the show, Yen did send Geralt to beat up the townspeople who are against her. (the tone is quite different, and the show doesn’t show it, but the basics are the same)

However, Yen does not want Geralt to get into legal trouble on her account, so she sends Dandelion back through a portal, and asks him to use his last wish to help Geralt.

Dandelion drops back through the portal.

“Innocent!” yelled the poet in a clear melodious tenor, sitting on the floor and looking around, his eyes vague. “Innocent! The witcher is innocent! I wish you to believe it!”

So now Dandelion is with the mayor and the priest, and Geralt goes to help Yen against Dandelion’s advice. Like in the show, Dandelion advises against it.

“Geralt,” said Dandelion, ‘you’ve gone stark raving mad! Keep away from that bloody strangler!”

And look, he has a point. He’s basically like, she is choosing this. She wants to do this. She used us both against our will. She is powerful and terrifying (the subtext being, why would she need you. If she’s dead set on this shit, then let her do it)

But of course Geralt goes. He is already falling for Yen. I think in the books it’s more clear as to why. But that’s sort of beside the point of this post. (At some point I want to do a compare/contrast Yenralt.) 

But anywho. In the books, Dandelion is with the mayor, the priest, and Chireadan and they are watching the building from a safe distance.

Dandelion is distraught.

“What’s happening there!” Dandelion, clinging to the wall, strained his neck, trying to see in the downpour. “Tell me what is happening there, damnit!”

Then as the house begins to fall, 

“Why did Geralt have to go in there?” groaned Dandelion. What the hell for? Why did he insist on saving that witch? Why? Chireadan, do you understand?”

Of course, Chireadan is in love with Yen, so he understand perfectly.

Then, Dandelion is terrified Geralt will die. He is upset, he is wailing.

“Are they both going to die?” wailed Dandelion. “How come, Krepp why? After all, the witcher--Why by all perfidious and unexpected plagues, isn’t he escaping? Why? What’s keeping him? Why doesn’t he leave the bloody witch to her fate and run away? It’s senseless...It’s suicide. And plain idiocy!”

The mayor is not so distraught.

“It’s his job, after all,” interrupted Neville. “The witcher is saving my town...if he chases the demon away, I’ll reward him handsomely...”

Then Dandelion cuts him off. 

Dandelion snatched the hat decorated with the heron feather from his head, spat into it, threw it in the mud and trampled it, spitting out words in various languages as he did.

Now, I believe that spitting in one’s hat is considered something for good luck, and in some cultures is meant to ward off evil spirits. Dandelion looks down on superstition as is quite explicitly atheist, yet he resorts to it the minute he’s desperate on Geralt’s behalf.

(If I am reading that correctly. It could also be an expression of antipathy for Neville for all I know. Maybe someone else can comment, I'm just guessing)

And then Dandelion realizes something. They explained to him that Geralt actually has the wishes, but then it dawns on him that Geralt could use it to save himself.

“But he’s...” he groaned suddenly, “still got one wish in reserve. He could save both her, and himself! Mr. Krepp!”

The priest explains how difficult that would be. Then the house ‘explodes’ and the djinn escapes. The mayor and the owner of the house rejoice. The owner of the house has previously said that he has good insurance, so he says ‘what a wonderful ruin’. Dandelion is not so happy. In fact he is distraught, understandably. He sees that the house has fallen and he is afraid they are dead.

“Dammit, dammit!” hollered Dandelion...”it’s shattered the entire house! Nobody could survive that! Nobody I tell you!”

The mayor jumps straight to the same conclusion, but it significantly happier about it.

The witcher, Geralt of Rivia, has sacrificed himself for the town,” mayor Nevills said ceremoniously. “We won’t forget him. We’ll revere him. We’ll think of a statue...”

Dandelion does not react well to this. This is the part you were referencing.

Dandelion shook a piece of wicker matting bound with clay from his shoulder, brushed his jerkin free of lumps of rain-dampened plaster, looked at the mayor and, in a few well-chosen words, expressed his opinion about sacrifice, reverence, memory, and all the statues in the world.

I kind of wish the book had spelled out exactly what he said because I think it would have been amazing. But Dandelion tears him a new asshole and tells him where he can put the statue. We just don't get to hear the exact words.

Then it grows quiet. Dandelion is still afraid they are dead, but decides to go look to make sure.

By all the gods,” muttered Dandelion, “what silence...they’re dead I tell you. Either they’ve killed each other, or my djinn’s finished them off.”

Notice he still calls it 'my djinn', I think because he found it. He clearly is ready to blame himself. But then they go take a look at the ruins. They start to hear noises.

“Yennefer’s alive,” said Dandelion suddenly, straining his musical ear. “I heard her moan. There, she moaned again.”

And like in the show, Chireadan looks through a broken window, seeing Geralt and Yen having sex.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly. “Let’s not disturb them.” 

Chireadan is heartbroken, because he loves Yen.

Of course Dandelion is curious and doesn’t want to be put off (as always).

“What are they doing,” Dandelion was curious. “Tell me damnit!” The elf smiled very, very sadly. “I don’t like grand words,” he said. “And it is impossible to give it a name without using grand words.”

I think because of the involvement of the mayor, showing the way they see the witcher (useful, but highly expendable) next to Dandelion (that’s my friend, motherfucker) is interesting. I like that Dandelion tears him a new one.

The moment is definitely moved past much more quickly in the show, though to be fair they have a lot less time.

But what does everyone else think? If you’ve got this far, please share your thoughts! Which version of the story do you prefer? And what was the hat spitting all about?