#I am now. Going. To bark at you. Woof woof bark bark woof woof woof bark bark

[harpoonsnotspoons]

Something something there are two wolves inside you

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.

Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss

[donutsalami]

They're both so charming I can feel the mischief radiating out of them.

[cockkette]

summer lovin’

lando norris x reader

warnings - somewhat chaotic lando and reader, mentions of pregnancy, insinuation of smut, some swearing, i think that’s it xoxo

face claims - girls on pinterest

y/n.l/n

liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 193,982 others

y/n.l/n: patiently waiting for the summer break 🙃🌊

comments

landonorris: i miss you baby 🧡

y/n.l/n: aww i miss you too baby

user1: they are so cute

landonorris: i miss that fat ass too 😏

liked by y/n.l/n

user1: i spoke too soon

user2: every night i pray for a normal lando and y/n interaction and everyday my prayers are denied

liked by mclaren

user3: lando is one of god's favorites y/n is so fine

user4: alexa play that should be me by justin beiber

user5: tbh i don't know who i want to be more

user6: B O A F boaf

mclaren: please bring lando back in one piece

y/n.l/n: no promises xx

user7: sending my thoughts and prayers to the mclaren pr team during the summer break

liked by mclaren

y/n.l/n: you can't blame me he has me so down bad i think i'm getting withdrawal symptoms

oscarpiastri: nurse she's out again

y/n.l/n: boo👎👎

user8: woof woof bark bark

landonorris: that's my job

user9: petition to save y/n from this loser

liked by yourbestfriend

y.n/l/n

liked by landonorris, mclaren and 252,099 others

tagged : landonorris

y/n.l/n: date nights are the best nights 🌅

comments

landonorris: the best way to start summer break, i couldn't think of anyone else i would rather have with me 🧡

y/n.l/n: ha you 'like' like me loser 🤣👉

landonorris: i take it back

y/n.l/n: 👎

user10: y/n is so real for that

user11: the only relationship ever

user12: they are my parents they just don't know it

user13: the fits always go hard

landonorris: you know it

oscarpiastri: please don't feed his ego

user14: oscar is so sick of his bs

mclaren: we all are

user15: LANY/N SUMMER BREAK CONTENT!!!

lilymhe: i miss you!

landonorris: you facetimed her 2 hours ago

lilymhe: SHUT UP

y/n.l/n: SHUT UP (affectionately)

landonorris: aww you love me 😁😁

liked by y/n.l/n

francisca.cgomes: is that portugal!

y/n.l/n: yep you convinced me!

liked by francisca.cgomes

user16: she's so fine 🤭

landonorris: yes she is and she's mine

y/n.l/n: cutie <3

user17: when will it be my turn

lando.priv

liked by y/n.l/n, danielricciardo and 42 others

tagged: y/n.l/n

lando.priv: date nights are fun but so is a night in

comments

carlossainz55: mate..

y/n.l/n: 🤭🤭

liked by lando.priv

maxverstappen1: i think it's time to put the phone away

charles_leclerc: i agree

lando.priv: haters

maxverstappen1: correct 👍

oscarpiastri: this is better than actually hearing it from the drivers room ig

y/n.l/n: soz babes xoxo

danielricciardo: goooo landooo 💪💪

lando.priv: finally some support, it's hard out here guys

carlossainz55: i bet it was

landonorris

liked by y/n.l/n, yourbestfriend and 538,299 others

tagged: y/n.l/n

landonorris: happy anniversary to the prettiest, kindest and smartest girl, i have spent 3 years loving you and i know i will spend the rest of my life loving you 💕

comments

y/n.l/n: i'm not crying you are

landonorris: darling i can hear you from the kitchen

y/n.l/n: get over here then!!

landonorris: sprinting over right now

y/n.l/n: good x

user17: walk him like a dog

georgerussell63: mate i'm getting whiplash from the difference between this post and your private post

landonorris: i'm a man of many talents

y/n.l/n: he really is

georgerussell63: you both disgust me 🤮

user18: GEORGE WHAT DO YOU KNOW

user19: screaming crying throwing up i love them your honour!!

user20: same but i'm screaming without the s looking at y/n

lilymhe: real

alex_albon: LILY!?

user21: lily is one of us

liked by lilymhe and y/n.l/n

y/n.l/n: i can't wait to spend the rest of my life showing you how much i love you, how proud of you i am and how super hot you are 💕💕

landonorris: fuck sake now i'm crying

landonorris: i am super hot though

user22: i knew they couldn't be wholesome for that long

y/n.l/n: what can i say it's part of our charm 🙃

user23: i need y/n's whole wardrobe rn!

y.n/l/n posted two stories

y/n.l/n

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 158,890 others

y/n.l/n: great food and the best company!

comments

landonorris: i helped make the food btw 💪

olivernorris1: no... you just watched

landonorris: it's called moral support!

user24: at least he tried...

savnorris: lovely to see you darling, the girls have been asking for auntie y/n all day 😂

y/n.l/n: lovely to see you too! i miss them so much they are adorable!

user25: AUNTIE Y/N ARE YOU KIDDING

user26: THAT IS SO CUTE

flonorris1: i already miss you

y/n.l/n: i miss you too 💕

landonorris: girlfriend stealer 😠

flonorris1: stop being jealous that someone else had her attention for more than 2 seconds 🙄

landonorris: no.

user27: he's literally a child 🤣🤣

liked by flonorris1

user28: lando arguing with half of his family in the comments is taking me out

user29: norris family dinners seem so fun

y/n.l/n: they are!

lando.priv

liked by y/n.l/n, oscarpiastri and 38 others

tagged: y/n.l/n

lando.priv: your so hot have my babies please 🙏🙏🙏

comments

georgerussell63: you're getting blocked mate

y/n.l/n: if you insist...

lando.priv: hehehehe

y/n.l/n: nevermind that made me feel ill

lando.priv: sorry i let the dawg out 💔💔

alex_albon: the thought of mini landos is stressing me out

y/n.l/n: i think they would be cute 🫣

lando.priv: will be*

charles_leclerc: my children are on this app please stop this madness

oscarpiastri: thank you for speaking out

olliebearman: i'm scared dad

y/n.l/n

liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris and 328,912 others

tagged: landonorris

y/n.l/n: a staycation to end the summer break with my love

comments

landonorris: who is that absolute stunner on the last slide 🫦

y/n.l/n: idk he's pretty hot though do you think i could get his number

landonorris: yeah he totally likes you 😉

user30: ahhh they are so cute it's not fair

user31: i cannot wait for the wags to be reunited

user32: fr we need more wag content

yourbestfriend: i can't wait for summer break to be over so you will spend your time with me instead of him xxx

liked by y/n.l/n

landonorris: noooo

user33: the f1 world has never seen a better rivalry than these two

user34: lando and 'yourbestfriend' are my verstappen and hamilton

maxverstappen1: understandable

lewishamilton: i can't disagree with that

mclaren: we can't wait to see you both back in the paddock 🧡

y/n.l/n: i got a new papaya coloured dress especially for the occasion

landonorris: this isn't fair you look so good in it i won't be able to concentrate on the race 🫦

y/n.l/n: shut up 🤭

user35: what is lando doing in the last picture 🤣

alex_albon: he worries me

georgerussell: he's my sleep paralysis demon

y/n.l/n: he's a cutie leave him alone!

landonorris: yeah!

landonorris: my girlfriend is so hot

y/n.l/n: my boyfriend is so hot

landonorris: 🥰

user36: he is so down bad it's getting embarrassing

landonorris posted a story

this story has been deleted

a/n - thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed! i’m thinking of doing a part two so any feedback or suggestions would be fab <3

[puninyan-wibwob]

so, I was listening to the "I am now going to back at you" song and I found a new version by a Vtuber, and I found it cute, check it out hehe:

[deliciousangelfestival]

Bad Romance

Character: Lloyd Hansen x Ex-wife!Reader

Summary: On his dying breath, he made a choice: to seek refuge in the one place he still considered safe—his ex-wife's house.

Words Count: 4,089

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

As the raindrops pelted his face, each impact weighed down his eyelids, making them droop with exhaustion. With a muttered curse escaping his lips, he grumbled, "Fuck."

Tonight, he faced multiple betrayals, each cutting deeper than the last. His best friend, boss, team, agency—all had turned their backs on him, sacrificing him like a pawn in a game he no longer understood.

And for what? For all he had sacrificed and given, this was the thanks he received.

Dragging his feet through the sodden ground, he felt the weight of his exhaustion and pain bearing down on him like a leaden anchor. His body screamed for respite, for release from the torment that plagued him. But still, he pressed on, his gaze fixed on the faint light in the distance, a beacon of hope in the midst of the darkness.

His body language betrayed his struggle, his shoulders slumped with weariness, his movements labored and unsteady. Yet, he refused to yield to the darkness that threatened to consume him. He pushed forward with every ounce of determination, driven by a stubborn resilience that refused to be extinguished.

But as the rain continued to fall and the pain in his wound intensified, a chilling thought invaded his mind. "Is this how it ends? Alone, in the cold and the dark?" Finally, his strength gave out, his body surrendering to the inevitable embrace of unconsciousness.

🌅

As he slowly blinked open his eyes, he was greeted by a sudden burst of brightness, the sun's rays piercing through the whiteness that surrounded him. "Am I in heaven?" he murmured, his voice barely audible amidst the surreal scene.

His confusion deepened as he felt something wet against his hand. "What-" His words trailed off as he glanced down, his eyes widening in shock at the sight before him.

There, by his side, was a shepherd dog, its tail wagging eagerly as it gazed up at him with a warm, friendly smile. "I guess it's true, dogs go to heaven," he mused softly, his disbelief mingling with a flicker of amusement.

"Woof," the dog barked cheerfully, before bounding onto the bed beside him, its tongue lolling out as it showered him with affectionate licks. "Stop," he protested weakly, though a smile tugged at the corners of his lips despite himself.

Lloyd had never been particularly fond of dogs, but there was something about this canine companion that stirred a long-forgotten warmth within him. Memories of a puppy he once cared for flooded his mind, though it had been years since he had last thought of it.

Running his fingers through the dog's fur, he couldn't help but notice the striking resemblance it bore to that cherished pet from his past.

"You look like someone I knew," he murmured softly, a pang of nostalgia tugging at his heartstrings as he allowed himself to be comforted by the presence of his unexpected companion.

"He would be saddened if he understood what you just said. Don't you remember Choco?"

Lloyd's heart skipped a beat as her voice pierced the air, drawing his attention away from the dog and towards the source of the sound. Slowly, he turned around, and there she stood — the woman with whom he had once shared a lifetime.

His ex-wife.

You stood before him, holding a tray of food, your expression unreadable. Despite the years that had passed since he last laid eyes on you, you seemed unchanged. There was no trace of worry in your demeanor, only a cool detachment that sent a shiver down his spine.

Even now, after four long years since the finalization of their divorce, you remained a constant presence in his life, a reminder of all that he had lost. The years had not softened your gaze or dulled the edge of your resentment.

As he met your gaze, there was no warmth, no flicker of recognition in your eyes. Only a steely resolve that spoke volumes of the lingering animosity between them. At that moment, he realized that despite the passage of time, some wounds never truly healed.

Lloyd's voice broke the silence, filled with a hint of nostalgia and warmth. "It's really nice to see you, sunshine."

You responded with a dismissive "Hmph," setting down the tray of food and medicine beside him. As you observed him lying on the bed, a surge of conflicting emotions washed over you.

Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine having him back in your life, especially in such a vulnerable state. Four years ago, you had scrubbed every trace of him from your existence, convinced that you were better off without him.

But fate had a cruel way of intervening. Just last week, Choco's persistent barking had led you to investigate, eventually guiding you to the sight of your ex-husband sprawled in the mud, wounded and on the brink of death.

The sight had shocked you to the core, dredging up memories of the tumultuous past you had shared. His dangerous job, the reason you had chosen to walk away from him, now seemed to loom over you like a grim specter.

Seeing him alive, breathing, and smiling with that smug expression plastered across his face, you couldn't help but question yourself. Why did you save him? As you tended to his wounds, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions raged within you.

You couldn't help but let out a sarcastic remark, your tone laced with equal parts irritation and concern. "With who this time did you make trouble?"

Lloyd's reaction was immediate, his expression caught off guard by your directness. This was the woman he remembered, the one who could simultaneously infuriate and enthrall him. "A lot of people, pumpkin," he replied casually, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes at his response, unable to suppress a wry smile. "Always a troublemaker," you muttered under your breath, the familiarity of the exchange bringing a sense of deja vu.

"Yup. That's why you like me," Lloyd quipped back, a cocky grin spreading across his face as he attempted to lighten the mood.

You didn't dignify his remark with a response, instead choosing to focus on examining his wound. Gently raising his arm, you inspected the injury with practiced care, noting the signs of improvement with a sense of relief. "No more infection," you announced, your voice tinged with a hint of satisfaction.

As you continued your examination, Lloyd couldn't resist interjecting with a hint of pride in his voice. "Did you notice I've gained more muscles?"

You couldn't deny the subtle changes in his physique, resulting from his relentless pursuit of his dangerous profession. But you refused to acknowledge it aloud, knowing that it would only inflate his already sizable ego.

"How did you find out my place?" you questioned, a mix of curiosity and wariness in your voice.

Lloyd met your gaze squarely, his expression unapologetic. "I always check on you. Just in case," he replied casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

After the divorce, he had never truly let you out of his sight, a fact that both unsettled and infuriated you. It was as if he couldn't bear the thought of you moving on without him, even though your relationship had long since run its course.

But for Lloyd, the idea of you being with someone else was intolerable. He couldn't stomach the thought of you in another man's arms, couldn't bear the thought of someone else laying claim to what had once been his.

And so, he took matters into his own hands, using underhanded tactics to sabotage any potential suitors that crossed your path. From slashing tires to sabotaging work projects, he left no stone unturned in ensuring you remained single.

The mere thought of you with another man made him sick to his stomach, a bitter taste rising in his throat. But despite his best efforts to keep you all to himself, he knew deep down that he couldn't control your heart.

And yet, he couldn't help but cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, you would come back to him in the end.

As Lloyd found himself teetering on the brink of death, his world collapsing around him, he felt a desperate longing for safety and solace. Betrayed by his team, abandoned by his friends, and hunted by the very agency he once served, he was left with nowhere to turn.

With each labored step, he struggled to keep moving forward, to escape the clutches of death that threatened to consume him. But amidst the chaos and despair, a flicker of recognition sparked within his subconscious, guiding him towards a beacon of hope in the darkness.

And then, as if by some miracle, he remembered you. Your address, your home—the one place where he knew he could find refuge, if only for a fleeting moment.

Driven by a primal instinct for survival, his body moved of its own accord, drawing him inexorably towards your doorstep. With each passing moment, the distance between them narrowed, until finally, he stood before your door, battered and broken but alive.

At that moment, as he reached for salvation, he clung to the faint hope that you would offer him sanctuary from the storm that raged within and without. For in the depths of his despair, he knew that he could find the peace and redemption he so desperately sought in your arms.

You let out a sigh, the weight of Lloyd's words sinking in. "Does that mean they knew about me?" you asked, your voice tinged with a hint of concern.

Lloyd shook his head firmly, his gaze unwavering. "No. I made sure nobody knew about you," he reassured you, his tone laced with conviction.

"Good," you responded with a nod, a sense of relief washing over you at his words.

You clapped your hands softly, calling Choco who still lay his head on Lloyd's lap. The loyal dog obediently jumped from the bed to be beside you, his presence a comforting presence in the room.

Lloyd's gaze shifted to the dog, who had grown significantly since the last time he saw him. "He's bigger," he remarked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Staying out of town suits him," you replied, a faint smile playing at the corners of your lips as you remembered the countless arguments you and Lloyd had over the city life.

Lloyd nodded in understanding, a pang of guilt tugging at his conscience as he recalled the sacrifices you had made for him in the past.

You stood up, determination etched on your face. "I need to buy more medicine for you," you declared, your voice firm despite the underlying concern.

"Alright. And I'll be waiting for you," Lloyd replied, his tone filled with gratitude.

Before you left the room, you turned to him with a sense of urgency. "Your gun. It's inside the nightstand," you instructed, your words carrying a weight of responsibility.

Lloyd's eyes widened in surprise as he slowly maneuvered his body, wincing with each movement. With cautious hands, he opened the nightstand and discovered his gun, meticulously cleaned and reloaded, lying within.

In that moment, as he gazed at the weapon before him, he couldn't help but feel a surge of conflicting emotions. Despite the animosity that had defined their relationship, he couldn't deny the underlying care and concern that you still held for him.

And as you left the room, he couldn't help but wonder how someone could simultaneously hate and care for him so deeply. It was a paradox that he would never fully understand but one that he couldn't help but be grateful for in his darkest hour.

As Lloyd lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, a sense of profound gratitude washed over him. Despite the perilous path he had tread, he couldn't help but feel incredibly fortunate to be alive, to have been granted a second chance at life, and to have crossed paths with you once again.

In that fleeting moment of introspection, he couldn't help but wonder about the path not taken.

What if the two of you hadn't parted ways?

Would he have found solace and happiness in your embrace, surrounded by the warmth of your love and the companionship of Choco?

The thought lingered in his mind, a bittersweet reminder of his choices and the consequences that had ensued.

Perhaps things would have been different in another reality or in another lifetime. Perhaps he would have found the peace and contentment he desperately sought in your arms.

But as the painkiller coursed through his veins, enveloping him in a blanket of warmth and drowsiness. Exhausted, he succumbed to the pull of sleep once more.

🗡️

Lloyd stirred from his slumber, awakened not by pain but by the gnawing ache of hunger that clawed at his stomach. Slowly, he sat up, testing the limits of his body and finding that the pain had subsided to a dull ache.

With cautious movements, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, wincing slightly as he eased himself into a sitting position. Gradually, he rose to his feet, testing his weight on unsteady legs until he found his balance.

As he ventured out of the room, his gaze wandered around the house, taking in the familiar furnishings and décor that adorned the space. It felt strangely comforting, like stepping into a memory from his past.

His eyes drifted to the photographs that adorned the walls, capturing moments of joy and laughter frozen in time. Each image seemed to tell a story, a testament to the life you had built for yourself after leaving him behind.

With a heavy sigh, he questioned the purpose of his existence and the futility of clinging to a past that no longer held any promise. What was the benefit of wallowing in self-pity, of longing for a life that could never be reclaimed?

As Lloyd made his way to the kitchen, he was greeted by a home-cooked meal waiting for him, prepared with care and accompanied by a note instructing him to simply microwave it.

When was the last time someone had gone to such lengths to provide him with a warm, comforting meal?

The question lingered in his mind as he heated the food and began to eat, savoring each bite as if it were a taste of long-forgotten bliss.

After finishing the last bite of food, Lloyd washed it down with a sip of water, his expression shifting from relaxed to serious as he surveyed the now-empty plates before him.

"At least you let me eat first," he murmured under his breath, a hint of resignation in his voice.

'Click.'

The sound of the gun echoed throughout the house, piercing the stillness of the moment. In the reflection of the fridge, Lloyd caught sight of Carmichael and Susan, their guns trained on him with steely determination.

With a wry smirk, Lloyd raised his hands in surrender, his gaze steady as he met their accusing stares.

"Really? You still have the confidence?" Susan's voice dripped with disdain, her finger twitching on the trigger.

Carmichael's voice was cold and calculating as he spoke, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of all places, you choose to hide here?"

Lloyd's casual shrug belied the tension that hung in the air as Susan's voice cut through the silence once more. "You need to come with us," she demanded, her tone clipped and authoritative.

Lloyd's response was equally defiant. "What if I don't want to?" he challenged, his gaze locking with Carmichael's as he awaited their next move.

Carmichael's response was swift and to the point. "You have no backup," he stated matter-of-factly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Lloyd's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the revelation. "Really?" he quipped, a hint of skepticism.

Unable to contain her frustration any longer, Susan lashed out at Lloyd, her voice dripping with venom. "I'm going to laugh when you rot in jail—"

But before she could finish her sentence, she was interrupted by a sudden gust of wind that sliced through her left ear, followed by a searing pain that engulfed her cheeks and ears.

"Fuck," she cursed, her hand instinctively flying to her injured ear as she recoiled from the unexpected assault.

As Susan dropped to the ground, the suddenness of her descent caught everyone off guard. Carmichael's attention snapped to the shattered window, his instincts kicking in as he processed the situation instantly.

"A sniper," he concluded, his voice tense with urgency as he scanned the perimeter for any signs of danger.

Susan, still reeling from the shock of the attack, struggled to comprehend what had just transpired. "But how?" she gasped, her voice tinged with disbelief as she tried to make sense of the chaos around them.

Lloyd's smirk widened as he watched the realization dawn on Susan and Carmichael's faces. "Don't underestimate the owner of this house," he cautioned, his gaze flicking towards the framed photos on the wall.

Susan and Carmichael's eyes fell upon a woman adorned with a gold medal, the insignia of an Olympic shooting competition adorning the frame.

"Shit," they both muttered simultaneously, a sense of dread settling over them as they realized the gravity of their situation.

Carmichael turned to Lloyd, his disbelief palpable. "Her? You and her? Impossible," he exclaimed, his voice tinged with shock and skepticism.

But Lloyd's smirk remained, a silent testament to the unexpected ally that had come to his aid in his moment of need.

The contrast between you and Lloyd couldn't have been more stark, yet fate had a curious way of bringing opposites together. While you had earned your place at Harvard through your exceptional skill in shooting, Lloyd's prowess on the football field had secured his admission.

In the law class, the tension between you two was palpable, your conflicting personalities clashing like water and fire. Your debates were heated, your arguments fierce, yet beneath the surface, there lingered a begrudging respect for each other's abilities.

Despite the animosity that simmered between you, there was an unspoken understanding that if one of you needed help, the other would be there to lend a hand. It was a reluctant partnership born out of necessity, fueled by a mutual desire to succeed in a cutthroat environment.

As the years passed, the animosity softened into something resembling camaraderie, a grudging acknowledgment of the role you each played in the other's life.

In the end, despite your differences, you and Lloyd were bound together by a shared journey that neither of you could have predicted.

Lloyd raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, his words laced with a mix of astonishment and resignation. "We're divorced, but still she cares for me," he remarked, a hint of disbelief coloring his tone.

'Bang.'

Another bullet pierced the air, embedding itself in the sofa with a resounding thud.

"Shit. She's going to blame me for this," Lloyd muttered under his breath, his expression clouded with frustration.

Susan's regret swelled within her, a knot forming in the pit of her stomach as she realized the gravity of their oversight. "Just kill him," she spat out, her voice tinged with desperation.

But Carmichael's voice cut through the chaos, his words ringing with authority. "No, the order is to bring him in alive," he declared, his tone unwavering in its resolve.

Lloyd, caught in the crossfire of their conflicting agendas, couldn't help but interject with a hint of sarcasm. "Stop fighting over me. I prefer to stay here," he quipped, a wry smile playing at the corners of his lips despite the gravity of the situation.

Susan's hand trembled as she pointed the gun at Lloyd's forehead, her eyes blazing with a vengeful fury. "I've been waiting for this," she seethed, her voice laced with venom. "This time I'll blow your head off."

But before Susan could carry out her threat, she was overcome by a searing pain that radiated through her hand, causing her to cry out in agony.

'Bang.'

Another shot rang out, the bullet tearing through Susan's hand with brutal force, eliciting a guttural scream of pain from her lips.

As the smoke cleared, you appeared before them, armed and prepared, your presence commanding and formidable. Carmichael and Susan paled at the sight of you, realizing with dawning horror that they were outmatched and outgunned.

"You bring unnecessary problems, Lloyd," you stated coolly, your voice hinting at disappointment.

With guns and spare bullets adorning your body, you stood as a formidable barrier between them and your ex-husband, ready to protect him at any cost.

With a steely resolve, you stepped forward, your gaze unwavering as you assessed the situation before you. Despite the chaos and tension that hung in the air, you remained calm and composed, your mind calculating the best course of action to diffuse the volatile situation.

"Susan, Carmichael," you began, your voice firm but measured, "you have overstayed your welcome. It's time for you to leave."

Susan's hand throbbed with pain, her grip on the gun loosening as she recoiled from the intensity of the burn. Carmichael's expression was shock and disbelief, realizing their attempt to apprehend Lloyd had backfired spectacularly.

But you weren't interested in vengeance or retribution. Instead, you sought a peaceful resolution, one that would ensure the safety of everyone involved.

With a swift and decisive motion, you disarmed Susan and Carmichael, carefully removing their weapons and rendering them harmless. Despite their protests and threats, you remained steadfast, refusing to be swayed by their desperate pleas.

You held their gaze steadily, your voice unwavering as you addressed Susan and Carmichael. "I'm sure neither of you wants to die today. Just as I don't want Lloyd to die," you asserted, your tone firm but not without empathy.

Susan's eyes widened in realization, the gravity of the situation sinking in as she glanced between you and Lloyd. Carmichael's expression hardened, his jaw clenched in silent acknowledgment of the truth in your words.

Lloyd's smirk widened into a knowing smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he caught your subtle reference.

"Since he has to clean up the house first," you added with a playful wink, a hint of humor creeping into your tone.

Lloyd's smile broadened at your jest, a sense of relief washing over him as he realized you had everything under control.

"Leave," you commanded, your voice brooking no argument. "And don't ever come back."

Reluctantly, Susan and Charmichael complied, their defeat evident in their defeated expressions as they slunk away, their tails between their legs.

As Charmichael and Susan begrudgingly exited the premises, leaving behind a trail of tension in their wake. "You always manage to find trouble, don't you?" you remarked, a hint of exasperation in your tone.

Lloyd turned to you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. He placed a comforting arm on your shoulder, seeking reassurance in the midst of uncertainty.

"No matter what, you still care for me, right?" he questioned, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

You met his gaze with a small, enigmatic smile playing at the corners of your lips. "In your dreams," you replied cryptically, words laced with affection and defiance.

With a swift motion, you brushed aside the sentimentality, your expression hardening as you turned away from him.

Lloyd watched you go, his arms crossed over his chest as he contemplated your retreating figure. Despite your dismissive words, he couldn't shake the feeling that beneath your tough exterior, there still lay a flicker of concern for him.

'Woof.'

The sound of Choco's bark brought Lloyd back to the present, the loyal dog appearing at his side with a comforting presence. Lloyd reached down to pet the dog's head, a fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Your mother is still a bad liar," he remarked with a chuckle.

[cafe-smut]

I'm realizing that if Obey Me!MC ever met WHB!MC, they'd lose their shit.

-

OB: YOU HAVE TO DO WH A T TO SURVIVE?!

WHB: You dont?!

OB: that feels, and I mean this sincerely, so illegal. Are you ok? Is it consensual? Do I need to call someone for you?!

-

*demon bros fighting*

OB: SIT BOYS! Anyways, like I was saying-

WHB, staring at the Demon Brothers unable to move, kneeling on the ground: I cannot express to you how jealous I am right now.

-

OB, glaring at WHB!Leviathan: oh my diavolo you're a bitch. I feel like I just touched something dirty. Gross, ugh. LEVI COME SNUGGLE!!

WHB, watching Leviathan about to murder OB as other Levi turns into a happy blushy mess and gets headpats* oh no

-

Bael and Beelzebub staring at Beel and Belphie: so you don't just leave to do whatever?

Beel: no? I have a job here outside of Rad- why are you crying.

Bael: can we please trade???

Belphie: hELL NO!

-

OB: wait so your mammon is like, rich rich?

WHB: more like three but- wait is yours not?

OB: . . . No comment.

-

*WHB screaming in terror and trying to run at the sight of Simeon, Luke, and losing it at the name Raphael*

OB: angels where they're are evil and trying to kill them. Don't worry about it.

*10 minutes later*

WHB nestled in Simeon's wings literally having the time of their life and super upset about it: mAn, ouR aNgELs fUcKinG SUCK.

OB, staring down a chained up WHB!Barbatos with disgust: your demons suck too. Where are his clothes?

-

OB!Solomon: ^ ^

WHB: oh you're their solomon?! Man my demons would probably love to mee-

OB popping their head in: NO THEY WOULDNT HES A SHADY BITCH!!

OB!Solomon: how could you say such a thing?

OB: You poisoned me just last week!

OB!Solomon: I made you dinner as you weren't feeling well!

WHB: aww, how ni-

OB: EXACTLY!!! POISON!! I COULDNT MOVE FOR TWO DAYS!!

WHB: 0_o

-

*The whole demon bros and kings and company staring each other down*

WHB: ok, so um- this is kind of hard to explain-

OB: SOLOMON AHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TIME YOU SHADY BITCH?!

Literally the whole WHB cast: SOLOMON?!

WHB: he's not like our Solomon. Sorry guys.

Someone: but it's-

*cue OB flipping OB!Solomon off as he hides a large thick tome behind his back while yelling at him. Lucifer facepalms, groaning*

OB!Lucifer: I have too much work for this.

OB, turning around and grinning: HEY YOU GUYS WANNA SEE A MAGIC TRICK?!

OB!Mammon, clocking it right away: TREASURE NO-

OB: Lucifer, bark!

OB!Lucifer: woof . . . You're fucking dead.

*silence. Both Satan's burst out laughing among others*

-

Meanwhile poor Luke is being threatened by a couple WHB Demons and that's OB!MC's child so NO THANK YOU!!

WHB is extremely jealous of the magic they can wield, but does help stop their more powerful demons from killing the OB angels. Who are horrified at the thought of aimless murder like that. Except Raphael, he's a warrior angel, but even he agrees that these angels are wrong.

(If OB!Micheal shows up that's going to be a shit show and I've got popcorn)

[fluffylino]

HI HELLO YES I WILL LITERALLY PAY YOU TO CONTINUE WITH THAT HYUNJIN SMUT YOU JUST WROTE CUZ OMH I AM NOT OKAY I TOO WANT TO BE HIS DOG LIKE PLS LEASH ME UP SIR

OKAY but imagine him making you bark. him breaking you apart. he wants to see just how DESPERATE YOU ARE FOR HIM.

anon, we transform into dogs when it comes to hyunjin 🤝

i got a little too into this but anyways here is your gift ♡

-contains mature themes

"fuck" hyunjin cursed as you took his length. you bit into the pillow beside you, unable to focus on anything but him.

"this is what you were waiting for. such a patient good girl" he praised, cupping one side of your face with such gentleness.

"my dick's in you now, baby. you got what you wanted." he smiled. it took you a few seconds to process what he was saying. A few moments went by yet he still didn't do anything.

"m-move" you mumbled. "please"

"but honey, from what i remember you sent me a video saying you just wanted me inside of you." he reasoned, faking a genuine confused look.

you were going to cry.

"I meant-"

"ohhh did you also want me to make you cum?" he said, in a questioning tone. you tried nodding and he clicked his tongue, interrupting you.

"baby don't you know you have to be a little more specific?

"hm?"

"do i need to teach you to form a proper sentence mentioning what you exactly want from me?" it was meant to sound condescending yet he genuinely had you questioning whether you really didn't mention anything.

"I-" you muttered, a few tears slipping out.

"What's wrong, puppy? Cat got your tongue?"

his gaze was strong and you tried your best to keep looking at him but soon, your tears turned him into a blurry image.

"please hyun-" you begged, and he leaned down to hold your face. he pouted.

"that isn't going to work on me" he whispered, brushing away the tears that rolled down your cheeks. he moaned lowly when you clenched around him.

you were starting to get desperate. wriggling your hips did nothing but push him deeper. that was until he caught you, holding you down by the hips.

"you really want me so bad?" you nodded vigorously, even going to the extent grabbing his hand and pushing it against your throat. he tightened his grip on your neck, cutting off most of your air supply and revelling in the way you gasped.

"so tight" he whispered under his breath, looking down at where yall were connected. he adjusted himself.

"tongue out" he ordered. you did as he said.

"more" you pushed your tongue out entirely. He moved closer, you expected him to spit-

you huffed, eyelids fluttering, the feeling of him sucking on your tongue.

spit slowly dripping out and you knew you were in a messy state. hyunjin slowly pulled away, letting out a breathy laugh as you tried to chase after his mouth.

"Bark"

"wha-"

"come on bark" he said, looking at you with such intensity.

"bark for me and then maybe ill consider giving you what you want" he reasoned. you felt a wave of embarassement.

"but-" he silenced you by covering your mouth with his palm.

"you don't speak unless i tell you to" you shuddered and you could feel yourself get wetter. Hyunjin seemed to feel it too. one of his hands sliding down to rub against you.

"puppy im waiting"

"w-woof" you said, jaw slack when he thrust's forward and stops.

did he want you to do it again?

"keep going"

you gave it your best. hyunjin smiled, hooking your legs over his shoulders.

"See it wasn't that hard was it, my love?"

.

.

.

🛐🔝

[i23kazu]

GENSHIN MEN & LICKING THEM TIL THEY LOSE IT

characters. xiao zhongli kaeya diluc childe alhaitham kaveh x reader genre. romantic fluff... crack fic! again! slightly suggestive! i mention a kink n everyt is /lh! an. i am losing my mind. is it obvious (part 3!) & thank u @dawndelion-winery and @iinuko for the ideas | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

????? yn?????????? keep licking and he eventually shoves you away (this is your second time licking him), please don't make him mad... he'd just poke u with his spear but he'd ignore you for a few days

zhongli

grimaces, tells you to stop it immediately because you aren't a dog. "but zhongliiiii im your dog" "no." he says flatly, and you drop it immediately because his aLpHa mALe era!!!! let him cook!!

kaeya

treats you like a dog the rest of the day bc he's annoyed. beg and whine for his attention lol but he'll relent after like. 2 days bc he's a soft snowflake. also you overhear him telling diluc (let me live my best friend ragbro dreams) "theyre not cooking shit"

diluc

"what the fuck" he sounds so embarrassed for you but jk he loves you!!!! but srsly stop licking him he sweats a lot bc ur hot yk and thats kinda gross unless ur into that... #nokinkshaming #betruetoyourself

childe

licks you back and tells you to stop it. also goes to the other room to furiously scrub his cheeks bc wtf. what is going on with. you. BROS SAYING NOTHING 🥵🥵🥶🥶🥶😈💥🔥🔥🔥 WHAT IS BRO SAYING 🥶🔥🥶🔥🥶🔥🥶🔥🥶

alhaitham

"what the fuck is wrong with you" <- you drop it after this

kaveh

licks you back. licks you MORE, even, because he's goofy like that!!!! just a silly guy!! call him a bitch bc he's ur dog now. woof bark woof woof bitches. my braincells died on me im rly sorry for this shitty work but i found it funny

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiy @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @lemonswriting @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @softcosmixs @iinuko (send ask to be added to taglist)

[weird-an]

Wilson has no idea how this became his life. He opens the door. He sees House writing migraine on the whiteboard and Wilson's head throbs in sympathy.

"House, we need to talk about it!" Wilson is interrupting a potentially important brainstorming, but he doesn't give a shit. He's still shocked and he has no idea how to process what happened, he has no idea where to put this memory.

Foreman sighs. "We're in the middle of a case."

Of course House uses the opportunity to nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, Jimmy, I'm working right now. My patient is dying! It could be cancer! Maybe she'll be your patient soon!"

"You just said it isn't cancer," Chase argues.

House rolls his eyes at that.

Wilson groans. "House, you can't just-"

The door slams open again. Cuddy looks like she's about to kill someone.

"You barked at a nurse?" She isn't yelling, but Wilson flinches a little. "What's going on with you?"

Chase snorts. Wilson wants to disappear.

"Isn't that always the question?" Foreman mumbles.

House smirks. "She was flirting. At work! Very unprofessional. What will HR say about that?"

"She wasn't flirting," Wilson says. They were talking about a patient, for God's sake. Okay, maybe Linda had put a hand on his arm and stood a little too close, but it's not like he's interested any more.

"Now she never will." House looks rather satisfied with himself. "I've marked my territory."

"You're an idiot," Wilson groans, something warm spreading inside him.

"Woof." House grins, blue eyes sparkling. Unfortunately Wilson wants to kiss him.

"Are you sleeping with each other?" Chase asks.

"Congratulations, you came to the most obvious diagnosis almost half a year too late." House claps his hands.

It's not six months. It's two and Wilson has never been so happy.

"Our patient has severe kidney failure, can we discuss Wilson's bad decisions later?" Foreman sounds utterly exhausted.

Wilson puts his hands on his hips. "Hey-"

"I really am a bad decision, Wilson." House cackles. "But I can bark at Foreman for you! Just ask me to!"

It says a lot about Wilson's as a person that he likes that idea.

"No more barking!" Cuddy points at the whiteboard. "Solve that case and I'll forget about it."

"Sorry, honey! Mommy is really strict today." House pouts.

Cuddy sighs.

"Don't you dare to encourage him," she whispers when she leaves.

She should know better, Wilson thinks. House's smirk tells him the same.

"Dinner later?" Wilson asks.

House nods.

"You could still growl at people," Wilson suggests, when he closes the door behind him.

If he decides that he'll treasure this memory, nobody needs to know. (He's sure House already does.)

[actually-well-written]

Zombies can't have pets? Let's change that.

Zed necrodopolis x reader (NSFW)

"A five, six seven, eight!" Shouts a small voice chants a cheer, echoing through the tunnels.

Trying to get away from the loud music and green smoking from the zombie party, which was held underground in a bunker, making it impossible to escape the noise. Yet (Y/n) was able to hear the voice and follow it through the path and soon became curious as to who was chatting.

Finally, she soon reaches a space in the bunker. A room that's small and cramped space with little natural light, as it is hidden underground, and instead was decorated with lights. A staircase leading out of the bunker stands in the middle of the room, the base covered with cardboard, somewhat resembling a stage.

(Y/n) Turns the corner and finds a little girl with green pigtails , waving around white pom-poms and chanting the same cheer your cousin Alison gave at Zed's first football game.

"That's really good." (Y/n) Smiles, walking closer.

The little girl gasps and stops. She quickly gets of the 'stage' and hides her pom-poms behind her dog plushie.

"I wasn't cheering!" She states, holding her hands behind her back as if she was just caught with a cookie jar.

(Y/n) Giggles, "it's ok. I won't tell a soul." She promises, pretending to sip her lips. "You must be Zoey. Zed's sister."

"I am. Are you (Y/n)?"

"The one and only. How'd you know?" She asks, sitting down on the 'stage'.

"Zed talks about you a lot. When he thinks I'm not around." She explains, sitting down next to her, dog plush in hand.

"Oh, yeah? What's he say?"

"That your really pretty." She combs her fingers through the dogs stuffed fur. "And you 'have a nice rack'? I don't know what that means." She deadpans.

(Y/n) Chocks in her own spit in surprise, "oh, that so?" She covers the bottom half of her face with her hand, resting her elbow on her knee. Blushing at both the fact Zed thinks something like that about her and the possibility he says more things like that about her.

"Do you like cheering?" She asks, trying to change the subject and calm her blush on her face.

"Yeah! I love cheer!" She smiles. "Your cousins good."

"She is isn't she?"

"Zoey?! What are you doing here?" Zed pops out from being the corner.

"Please. I'm not gonna miss a zombie mash." Zoey sasses.

Zed rolls his eyes playfully and leans on the wall, crossing his arms, "well, come on. The party is almost over and you need to go to bed."

"Oh, come on." She pouts, but then smirks, and starts clapping her hands and patting her lap. "Come on. Who's a good boy?"

Zed tenses as he looks over at (Y/n) nervously, afraid to act like a dog in front of his crush. (Y/n) Only Raises an eyebrow in confusion as Zed looks around the room in embarrassment. He sighs and quietly lets out a bark, his arms still crossed.

"Zed?" Zoey asked confused at why her older brother suddenly doesn't want to participate in their inside joke.

(Y/n), now somewhat understanding what's happening, starting patting her lap as well. "Come on, Zed! Be a good boy for Zoey." She giggles.

Zed's eyes widen in shock, and he blushes at the fact (Y/n) just called him a good boy. Even if he was aware it was a joke.

Zed shakes his head, but his blush doesn't go away, so he carries on with the act. Panting and hanging his hands under his chin. He barks and woofs, making his way to Zoey and kneeling down.

She pats his head and shakes his 'paw'. "Good boy." She praises.

"Yeah. What a good boy~" (Y/n) teases. Smirking at the now even redier zombie before her.

Zed clears his throat, "uh-Zoey? G-go find Eliza. She'll take you home." His voice just as flushed as his face.

Zoey nods, getting up and taking her pom-poms and her plushie. She runs off back down the tunnel back to the party.

"Bye, Zoey!" (Y/n) Shouts. "She's cute kid."

"Yeah. Um, thanks?" Zed stands back up, (Y/n) following.

"What was that about?" She asks, giggling.

Zed scratches the back of his neck, "just something I do to cheer her up. She wants a dog."

"Why can't she have one?"

Zed raises his eyebrows confusion at the question, "cause Zombies can't have one?"

"What?! That's so messed up!"

"You didn't know?"

She shakes her head, "Zed if I never meet you I would still believe all the propaganda they show us humans."

"Right, propaganda. I know that word." He rambles, the last bit of his blush finally fading.

"Well, what about you?"

"Me?"

"What would you like to have as a pet?"

"Oh, when I was younger I wanted a bunny."

"Oh." And that's when it hit her. And idea. A fun idea. "A bunny?"

Zed chuckles, "yeah, yeah. A football player likes cute little animals. What can I say, I'm not following a stereotype."

"Do you have anything important tomorrow?"

"Huh?"

"In your classes?"

Zed smirks and crosses his arms, "are you suggesting we play hookie?"

(Y/n) Playfully scoffs, "nooo, I was simply going to ask if you would meet me in the zombie safe zone we meet in during lunch."

"What for?"

She shrugs, "find out~"

"Um, ok?"

(Y/n) Smiles and kisses his cheek. "Alright, see you tomorrow!" She waves good bye and runs back the same way as Zoey.

Zed places his hand over the kiss and smiles. What is she planning? He thought.

___________________________________________________________________

"(Y/n)? Are you here?" Zed whisper-yells, as he closes the hatch door of the zombie safe room.

Suddenly a pair of arms comes out from behind the shelves of emergency supplies and wraps around Zed's waist.

"Hi!" (Y/n) Smiles into Zed's up, looking up at him.

Zed flinches at first, but then smiles. "Oh, hey."

She lets go of him and sits down on the stall.

"Soo? What's up?"

She giggles and takes her hair from her shoulder. Playing with the ends of it, she twists it around her finger. She pops her mouth and reaches into her bag, which Zed hadn't noticed was there.

She takes something out and hides it behind her back, "come here."

"...I'm.. nervous." He jokes, in a nervous laugh.

"Don't be nervous. Come on."

"Why?"

She playfully rolls her eyes, "don't worry so much. Come on." She stitches her tone into a baby voice, one that a person uses with their dog. "Come on, Zed. Be a good boy. Come here~"

Zed blushes, the embarrassment and arousal of the praise getting to him again. He places his bag on the floor and slowly walks towards to shorter girl. "Y-yes?"

"Kneel down."

He places his knees on the ground and looks up at her in confusion. "What are you-" without realizing it, she finishes placing something around his neck and adjusts it. "Wha-IS THIS A COLLAR?!?!" He asks, turning a bright red.

(Y/n) Smiles innocently and then places a white bunny ear headband on her head.

"What-what is happening?!" Zed asks, his voice cracking.

"Look I know it's weird and I shouldn't be thinking like this, but-" she blushes and slowly knees down next the Zed. She bites her lip and whispers, "so you wanna do a roleplay with me?"

"....yes...... please..." Zed whispers back, his blush reaching his ears.

She smiles and blushes as well, "o-okay! Well, um it's simple. You're my good boy, "she gently tugs on the collar, "and I'm your good bunny girl." She points to her bunny ears. "Got it?"

He gulps and nods to the floor, "hehe, no one told me high school would be like this." He jokes.

She giggles, "ok, well. Anything you want to say? Any rules?"

"Um, no. I don't think? Just say red if, you know, wanna stop."

She nods, "same to you."

He nods.

They both sit in silence, Zed staring down at the floor and (Y/n) staring at him. The hallways outside the door loud with students walking through it.

"Did you want me to start or-" she asks quietly.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Zed takes a deep breath and places his hands on her back, pushing her gently towards him. Kissing her softly.

She places her hands on the sides of his face, slowly rubbing his cheek with her thumb. The kiss quickly becoming a passionate make out.

Zed rubs her back up and down and places the palm of his other hand on the back of her head, his long fingers accidentally knocking the headband off.

(Y/n) Pulls the kiss apart and giggles against his lips. "Careful there, sir~" She teases, placing the headband back in her head.

"Sir? I thought I was you're good boy?" Zed teases back, kissing a trail down her jaw.

"Ptff, you haven't done anything good yet." She pants, placing her hand on his head.

"Oh, yeah? What do I need to do then bunny? How can I be a good boy?" He asks, moving to her neck.

(Y/n) blushes at the sudden confidence, but quickly calms herself, and pulls his hair, slightly pushing his head back and away from her neck.

"Stand up." She demands.

He obeys, standing back on his feet. "And?" He asks, (Y/n) still kneeling down.

She hums, pretending to think. Quietly she takes off her shirt. Zed covers his eyes. "...what are you doing?"

"Oh, right. Sorry." He chuckles, taking his hands off his eyes. "Nice rack." He smirks.

"So I've heard." She giggles. Crawling over to his legs she takes off his belt.

"Um-"

"It's ok." She gently unzips his fly and unbuttons his pants. "I know what I'm doing. Just relax." She takes off his pants and his boxers. His member sprong out and hit her on her face. "Wow.....big." she mumbles out.

"Uh, thanks?" He gasps out. "Is-is it gonna fit in your-"

She cuts him off by placing kisses along the sides of his shaft. Once she texted the base she started licking around it.

Zed covers his mouth and watches with widen eyes and a flushes face.

She smirks up at him and takes it into her mouth. "Hmm, it's tastes pretty sweet." She mumbles out.

He shuts his eyes and roughly grabs a patch of her hair for support. She giggles at his flustered-ness and bops her head.

"Wait. Wait. Wait."

She halts for a moment, "already?"

"No-I-I need to sneeze."

"....are you serious-"

Zed covers his mouth with his arm and sneezes three times. "sorry. Did I ruin the moment?"

"...yeah." she playfully rolls her eyes. "It's ok, I can keep going-"

"No, it's fine." He pushes her head back and gets back on the ground. He grabs her wrists and pins her to the floor. "I wanna use my bunny girl now." He states in a low growl.

(Y/n) gulps, pulling against his strength, but fails. "I-I have a con-"

"It probably wouldn't fit anyways."

"Cocky, much?"

He laughs, and rolls his eyes. He slowly puts a hand up her skirt, moving her panties to the side, fingers dipping through her folds.

(Y/n) let out a moan as he rubs through her slick. “All this and I've barely touched you, bunny?” He teases, now lining up his cock and he slowly sinks into her soaking heat.

“Fuckkk.” Zed groans out, one hand gripping her hip and moves his other to hold her hand tightly for support. He begins to thrust in and out of her at an agonizing pace. She closes her eyes tight and uses her other hand to wrap around his neck.

“Fuck, Zed, fuck me.” she moan, hips slapping into his own with each harsh thrust

"Am I your good boy, bunny?” He asks, still relentlessly pounding into you.

"So good, you fuck me so good, Zed.” she praise him, rubbing her hand up and down his neck as her climax straying to build up.

"Better than any human?"

"Way better. And bigger." She giggles, her moans interrupting. "Just-pull out, ok?"

"Yeah, got it."

"Am I a good bunny?"

"Best bunny. Best fucking bunny."

He pulls his hand from hers, dipping it down to circle her clit. Her orgasm washing over as he continues to pound.

"Lord, now I need to sneeze." She pants out.

He laughs as his hips stutter and he’s pulling out, pumping his cock a few times before his white ropes shoot across her legs.

Zed exhales and lays down on top of her, slightly squishing her, but she doesn't say anything. She wraps her arms around him and they both lay in the silence.

"....now what?" He asks.

"...um, we go to class, I guess." She shrugs.

"......after that?!?" He asks, raising his head to look at you in bewilderment.

[604to647]

Safest with You (The Epilogue)

3.2K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: You and Din welcome a new member to your family.

Warnings: All fluff - just the way we started this series! Established relationship, nicknames as usual (Pretty bird, baby).

A/N: A cute little glimpse into the lives of our happy couple around two years after the series finale. 112 Carlota Galgos is a real Galgo rescue in Spain! I won't go into the circumstances that make the rescue work they do so important, but many of you know that I have a greyhound, and the plight of the Galgo is well known in the sighthound community. These dogs deserve the world!! If you have an opportunity to check out organizations that aid Spanish Galgos or even help - I promise these gentle giants deserve it. Lisette is a real galgo I knew! She passed last year and this epilogue is dedicated to her (cute pics included at the end!)

I’m posting this on the one year anniversary of Chapter 1!! I can’t believe it’s been a whole year of writing these bbs 🥹 Thank you thank you everyone who has supported and followed along with this series - you are all as dear to me as Pretty Bird's garlic knots are to Mayfeld 🥹🥰 (I still plan on publishing that recipe!)

Dividers by @saradika-graphics as always! 🥰 / Series Masterlist

Just before your finger is about to press down the call button on the outside of the closed metal gate, you retract your hand and look questioningly at Din.

“How many am I allowed to get again?”

Din stares at you for a second to ascertain if you’re kidding and when he sees you’re not, a little panic sets in on his face, “One, pretty bird.  Just one.”

“But…”

“We only made arrangements with the airline for one, baby.”

You pout a little, but know Din’s right, “Okay. Fine. One.”

Somewhat dejectedly you press the button, though the chorus of barks and yelps from the other side of the gate resulting from the chime of the bell perk you up immediately, and by the time the gate is buzzed open with a loud brrrrzzzt, you’re giddy with excitement again.

This is the last planned destination of the European trip you and Din have been on for the last three weeks, both of you looking forward to flying home in just a few days.

The vacation has been an absolute dream.  You and Din have eaten your way through Amsterdam (Stroopwafels! Bitterballen!), then Paris (Steak frites! Macarons! Croissants!  One, sometimes two baguettes a day!), followed by Rome (Gelato! Pasta until you exploded!), and then finally Barcelona (Paella! Bombas!) before ending up where you are now: Andalucia, Spain, outside the gates of the 112 Carlota Galgos dog rescue.

The happy and excited woofs from the still unseen pups remind you so much of Alfredo.  Gosh, you miss your best guy so much – although, if the daily photos and videos you’ve been receiving are to be believed, he might be hard pressed to leave Paz’s when you get back.  By now a minor celebrity in Din and Paz’s neighbourhood, you’re happy to see that Al’s been making the rounds at the local shops (and accepting generous samples everywhere he goes), enjoying fun road trips to nearby hiking trails, and most importantly, helping Paz cement his image as an attractive, eligible bachelor about town.  You’re sure if you were to peek at Paz’s dating app profile, you’d see it updated with copious pictures of him fawning over your dog. 

Originally, you had been hesitant to have Paz take Al to his place for three whole weeks, wondering if it was better if instead, Paz could come and dog-sit at your and Din’s place – but Al does seem to be adjusting to being away from home just fine.  Though Alfredo is generally super easy going and adaptable, you nevertheless recognized that it had been quite a year of transition and multiple upheavals for your pup and worried about how he might cope with yet another change in scenery. 

Nearly a year ago, you and Din moved in together and Al had been uprooted from the only home he’s ever known.  Though it wasn’t without some understandable disinclination that you left your beautiful and much-loved apartment, both of you agreed it made perfect sense for you to move into Din’s place above Mando’s.  Of course you loved your old place – you had poured so much of your heart and soul into making it your refuge and the perfect home for you and Al, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to regret leaving – Din is your home now, as you are his.   The only safe haven you need is the one with him, and though you’re sure he would have moved without hesitation if you had asked, the idea of Din leaving a residence right above his place of work, in a building he already owned, was too silly to even entertain.

To try and make the adjustment as smooth as possible for his pretty bird, Din had given you free reign to redecorate, bring in your furniture, and make whatever changes you wanted in order to make his, now your, apartment feel more like home.  The third floor of Mando’s would always hold his most cherished memories of his childhood and father – he didn’t need it to look a certain way or have it maintained as some kind of physical shrine in order for that to be true; Din was ready to make a home and new memories with you.  It was sweet and you appreciated the gesture prodigiously, but aside from adding your own bookshelves and swapping out a couch, the only thing you had asked for was a bigger kitchen.  Din had readily agreed and even suggested he build you an expanded closet and turn the second bedroom into a home office-dog den for you and Al.  Din’s enthusiasm and eagerness for the project was enough to have you agreeing to his considerate suggestions.

What had followed was seven months of renovation chaos, living out of and tripping over boxes as a slew of tradespeople and workmen paraded in and out of what was supposed to be your new sanctuary. 

You love Din with all your heart, and one of the things you love most and find endlessly attractive is just how good he is at the things he does: taking care of you and Al, supporting the community, running Mando’s – to say nothing of the skill and prowess he displays in his work in and out of the ring; just the sight of Din running drills with his boxers or deftly commanding the Mandos gets you weak in the knees. 

But elaborate home improvements and remodelling?  Unfortunately, not part of Din’s impressive skill set.  Nor any of the Mandos for that matter.  For two weeks, every Mando on payroll seemed to be over at your place “helping” with measurements and the demolition of the kitchen and the wall between the two bedrooms.  Only after a burst pipe and the subsequent three weeks of living with drying fans running 24/7, did Din concede it was time to call in professionals.  Then came a parade of contractors and their respective plumbers, cabinet guys, drywall, tile and marble contacts, electricians, etc. – who all seemed to owe some kind of “favour” to Boba.  The good thing about that was they were committed to doing a good job; the bad thing was that no one was particularly dedicated to doing a fast job.  For the next five months, you, Din and Al lived in a construction zone of various partially started and finished projects with different strangers coming in and out of your place at all hours of the day – it had stressed Al out endlessly.

A little over half a year after moving in with Din, you hit a breaking point and, with Din’s encouragement, packed a suitcase and took Al to stay at Bea’s until a firm completion deadline could be negotiated with the various contractors.  Din had insisted on staying behind to lead the "negotiations" and "supervise" the follow through; lo and behold, everything had been completed to perfection and cleaned up thoroughly two weeks after.  Upon seeing the beautiful finished space, you finally felt at home – though frustrated, you hadn’t ever been terribly mad about the whole situation, but it had been a very confusing time for your pup.

Din had felt awful – this wasn’t the symbolic big step and storybook start to your lives together that he had envisioned.  You either, if you were being honest, but it genuinely mattered very little in the grand scheme of things; you reminded Din, as the two of you christened every surface of your brand new kitchen, that your lives together had really started a year before moving in together, when he had taken his own big step and shown up outside of your office, making you the promise to be open and honest about everything.

And he had.  Din had forgiven himself and won you back, and these last two years have been the happiest of your lives, even with the renovations. 

In that time a lot’s happened.  Jimmy won another two division championships and moved up a weight class.  Cass announced that her and Rikard were expecting.  Rory’s bridal boutique expanded to a second even more successful location and to her chagrin, she was promoted to manager.  The second book in Bea’s series came out to amazing reviews and the anticipation and hype for the third (due out later this year) was through the roof.  Poe decided to pursue and then successfully obtained his pilot license.  You went up in his Cessna just once – the views had been unforgettable, Lisa getting sick in your lap no lesser so.  Katie guest starred on Law and Order – twice (two different characters).  You met the Mods.  And Al finally settled into his new home, overseeing his new kingdom from the plush and cozy dog den that his dad lovingly built for him.

And now you and Din are about to take another big step together.

Greeted enthusiastically by one of the women who runs the Spanish hunting dog haven with whom you’ve been conversing with over the past few months about adoption, you and Din take a tour of the facility before being led out back to meet the dogs.

Per Elenna’s guidance, you sit in a chair near the water bowls and let the galgos come to you on their own terms.  Some, understandably, are shy and timid, wary of strangers – tentatively, they come and investigate you with their snoots, eventually accepting your gentle pats and scritches once they feel comfortable enough.  Others have no such hesitation - tails wagging, curious and excited, they enthusiastically crowd you, nosing in for pets and try to sniff out the treats you have in your pocket.  Your chest expands, heart nearly tripling in size to see these dogs get to be dogs again, as you rub their little faces and coo endless words of deserved praise at them for their bravery.

Maybe the plane will have room for another crate, you think, or two?  You can’t stop giggling as your face is licked and poked with wet noses, or when those same noses goose your tummy and legs, competing for the attention of your busy hands – you’re in heaven, nearly overwhelmed by all this furry cuteness.  Surely Din cannot possibly expect you to limit yourself to one! Knowing the marshmallow squish that resides beneath his hard and steely frame, you’re willing to bet that Din has already softened his stance on taking home multiple pups.  You crane your neck to see over the dogs, looking around the property to see if you can locate your boyfriend.

To your surprise, you find him not being surrounded by enthusiastic, bounding galgos, but alone - crouching near the ground and gently scratching a smaller fawn coloured dog who’s laying on her side, her slender head lifted just slightly off the ground to lean into Din’s hand.

“That’s Lisette,” Elenna says when she notices you looking at Din and the fawn girl, “she’s just come to us after this last hunting season - we found her in the street with a broken leg.  She’s all healed up now but is still quite skittish, especially around men.  This is actually the first time I’ve ever seen her let a man touch her, never mind a stranger.  Your husband must have a very calming touch.”

“Oh, he’s not my husb-” your voice trails off as you watch Lisette continue to happily receive Din’s attention.  Walking over, you hear him speaking quietly to her in Spanish.

“What are you telling her, Din?”

Din looks up, eyes soft and shiny, “Just telling her what a good girl she is.  That’s she so brave and sweet.  And that she doesn’t have anything to be afraid of anymore.  She’s safe now.”

There is no question as to which (one) dog you’ll be adopting today.

Lisette settles in quickly when you and Din get her back home, especially with Al immediately taking up his role as big brother.  Lisette falls into the easy comfort of following his lead, regularly looking to Alfredo for guidance – he never leads her astray and the two of them become inseparable.  With growing pride, you watch Lisette tentatively explore her new environment and slowly over the next few months, becomes more and more comfortable in her forever home: first your and Din’s apartment, then the gym, whose enthusiastic occupants always greet her like the princess she is, and eventually the entire neighbourhood where she’s never without her protective brother by her side.  When she’s ready, you and Din take her and Al out on further away adventures: to your and Din’s favourite farmers’ market, Poe and Lisa’s (where you learn in their pool that Lisette can swim!) or to Boba and Fennec’s where she can run and play with Mochi and the other Daimyo Dogs.  Your heart positively kvells as Lisette’s confidence grows and she becomes the happy pup she deserves to be, putting her less than ideal start to life behind her.

The only thing you wish you could change, though you would never push, is that Lisette won’t cuddle with you - she only ever cuddles with Din.  You know she loves you, but she’s very much a daddy’s girl and he’s the only one with whom she feels safe enough to have in such close proximity while sleeping or relaxing.  You don’t begrudge Lisette at all for feeling this way; Din is her protector, she trusts him to keep her safe - you understand the comfort of that feeling better than anyone.

And in truth, you love watching them together – seeing your sweet girl so at ease and your strong, formidable warrior melt into a puddle of goo when she burrows into the warmth of his lap.  Din talks to Lisette in Spanish all the time, repeating what he told her back in Andalucia: she’s safe now, she doesn’t have to be scared anymore - this is her home.

Your home feels complete now – there’s nowhere you would rather be than cuddled up on the couch with Din, each respectively loving on the pups that have curled up against you: you, Al and Din, Lisette.

Then one day, you’re on the couch tapping away on your laptop when Lisette saunters up to you.  You rub her little head and give her a little smooch on her snoot as she walks by, fully expecting her to wander away but she surprises you to no end when she hops up on the couch and curls up by your feet.  Terribly delighted but not wanting to spook her, you pretend like it’s no big deal – your heart, however, is doing jumping jacks; looking up with a big smile you see Din nodding encouragingly at the both of you.

And then she does it again.  And again.  At first still staying arms length from you, she inches closer and closer, little by little.  Though your chest is exploding and you want to shout with joy, you always remain calm and give Lisette copious amounts of quiet praise after she’s settled.  To celebrate this progress, Din will eventually come over to shower Lisette with additional treats and Spanish words of adulation that she happily accepts.  Sometimes you even catch him encouraging her before she comes over to you or see her looking back at him for reassurance before she climbs onto the bed or couch to sit with you.  Always her protector, her safe space.

It's slow going, but worth it.

Today, you’re on the couch having just finished a book, funnily enough it’s the most recent in the fantasy series that Din had bought you and your friends on that first day you met nearly four years ago, when you see Lisette moseying on over to you.  You swing your legs off the couch and pat the spot next to you, and to your delight, she hops up and starts to do her little nesting circles, prepping for her laydown spot.  When she finally settles, she lays her little head in your lap and you think your heart might burst.  You look up and see Din, handsome and relaxed, leaning against one of the bookshelves looking at the both of you with an adoring expression on his face.  You beam back - yep, the two of you are his girls.  The ones he takes care of.  Looks after.  Loves.

Lisette nuzzles her furry little face deeper into your thigh and you can’t help but giggle at the sensation.  “Okay, okay,” you chuckle, as if you needed any invitation to pet and love on her.  Dispensing gentle scritches all over her head and little ear rubs, you notice that your sweet girl has an extra collar on.  Normally Lisette wears just a martingale and sometimes nothing at all when she’s at home, but today, she’s got a thin rope collar encircling her neck as well.  Rubbing it between your fingers, you say to Din, “This is pretty!  When did she get this house collar?”

“Got it for her a while ago, but thought I’d wait for the right moment to put it on.  Do you like it?”

Lisette lifts her head and you take the opportunity to take a closer look at the pretty pink collar; admiring the delicate metalware and the luxurious feeling fibres of the rope, you run your fingers over the collar until you get to the small clasp in the front and feel something you don’t expect.  Rotating the collar around Lisette’s slender neck so you can get a better look at the thin object, you gasp when it comes into view.

A diamond ring.

Din, with Al by his side, starts to walk towards you, the look in his eyes clear and so easy to read: Devotion.  Adoration.  Love.

“Pretty bird…” he starts.  Din has an entire speech planned.  He needs to thank you for coming into his life and showing him what true strength and power is.  Grace, honesty, and compassion have been your gifts to him, and he’s a better man, a stronger man, for your kindness and generosity.  He wants to promise you that your faith in him will never be misplace – that he will cherish you and your heart to the very last beat of his own and beyond.  He loves you, admires you, trusts you, is in awe of you, and remains forever grateful for you.  Grateful for every smile you throw his way, every laugh you pull from him and allow him to draw from you, thankful for all the ways you’ve woven yourself into his life and made it better.  And above all, grateful for your acceptance and love for him and all that he is, was, and ever will be.  He needs to ask you if you will allow him the honour of spending the remainder of his days showing you his gratitude and loving you the way you deserve.

Din’s heart is overflowing and he has so much he wishes to express; he’s not entirely sure he’s going to be able to make any sense.  But Din’s not nervous - the radiant smile on your beautiful face as he approaches already telling him everything he needs to know.

Real life Lisette!! 🥰🥰

Very last tag for this series!! Thank you all forever for your support 🥹😘

@tuquoquebrute @furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @nerdieforpedro

@toobsessedsstuff @whirlwindrider29 @inept-the-magnificent @mellymbee @that1nerd-20

@hipabbster23 @bitccchmood @bigbutchenergee @rainbowcat164 @the-strawberrythief

@johnssherlock221 @misstokyo7love @vivian-pascal @florxdexcerezo @fanficlover1414

@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @jeewrites @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe

@bebsjo @yopossum @cartonkid1200 @rav3n-pascal22 @sjc7542

@xxx-silhouette-xxx @pedroswife69 @kilamonster @mandoshoney @joelalorian

@syd-djarin @moonlessnight14 @lucienofthelakes

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the bafta livestream out of context: top 60 cursed quotes.

There is nothing more cursed than the livestream I just witnessed, and I made a summary post but now I'm just going to put in quotes by the worthy maggots in the stream with no context, because BELIEVE ME THE CONTEXT DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. The livestream chat was NOT A PLACE OF THE LORD.

I'm going to make the quotes that were by me a different colour. Please know that I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A SINGLE QUOTE OTHER THAN THOSE. SO HERE'S THE TOP 60 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Barbenhimer awakened things in me ok

aroace people the most disturbingly sexual talkers on the planet fight me on this

WHO JUST GASPED

MICHAEL SHEENS BABY TALKING BARK BADK IM A DOG BARK WOOF

I feel so sorry for this woman. She's being so heartfelt and we're here thristing over a slinky that possessed a man

IRELAAAND PLEASE ADOPT ME AS YOUR OWN PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE LAND OF UNPRONOUNCABLE WORDS, GREEN FEILD, CATHOLISISM AND HOZIER PLEASE

the urge to go to france and misgender a croissant is real

Devastated the slutty knees have gone away

So many men nowadays are so submissive and breedable like thank you lord for these men thank you

witches and murder slime tutorial

speaking of royals did the bloke who ISN'T lizzy's husband but her son apparently die yet

Turtleneck Crowley is my gender.

WE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AS NOT SAFE FOR WORK WHY THE DRTAOLS ASMI

SAY AN BFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHREAS AN WE'LL LET YOU THROUGJ

"Oompa loompa doopety dee, I really hated being in this movie" -Hugh grant probably

IF YOU'RE A CHILD AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THAT MESSAGE IM SORRY

i want the kilt back this a betrayal

if someone put me in a room with kilt!david tennant one of us is walking out of that room pregnant and its not gonna be me

a lot of these words are in the bible and none of them should be in that order you need jesus

Can we vote to make david wear that kilt back? Maybe make him do a twirl this time

You mean Bildaddy? 😏

Honey what make you think a dude who roamed around with prostitutes and got himself more holes for mankind won't be calling bildad bildaddy? [this was about jesus btw.]

FREE THE KNEE

Show us the knees!

AND YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME FOR MY BLOWJOB BANANA

He looks like those fancy chocolates. Imma take a bite outta him. Think you'll leak molten goo like them?

My brain isn't working, I read "bratty couch jr"

i'm sorry the what holes

FIND ME ON GOAD AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY APPROPRIATELY

I genuinely thought it was a road typo and I thought you were threatening asmi with physical violence on the road

OHH FLOWER OF SCOTLAAAAAAND

Combine that with the unfortunate oranges and see what happens.

DEVASTATING NEWS I ATE UP ALL OF THEM SO I'VE BROUGHT A BLOWJOB BANANA INSTEAD

That reminded me of the army video where the guy was deepthroating a 7 inch banana without a hitch.

OMG THEY JUST FLASHED BACK & I GOT A GLIMPSE OF THAT KILT 🥵🥵🥵

thats why apollo had to deliver you at an illegal sushi restaurant

How long do you think it would take to get david naked from his chocolate man suit? Can we set a new speedrun category?

SUPERBOWL FOR TENNANTISTS

Big feelings about pants straps in the chat tonight

Last time i check yoire supposed to thank the lord gor his gifts

HEY GUYS ASMI'S FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE CONFIRMED

I just have a deep appreciation for ireland

Can you use suspenders as bondage gear? I mean it looks like it would be fine? I mean if you make the length a bit more they might be more comfortable than ropes. Just sayin

All i can think when i see him in the costume is the one specific ken and oppenhimer slash fic. Lord help me i can't be saved

GIVE MY LOVE TO THE LEPRECHAAAAAAAAAAAUNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Like a giant orange slice on her one arm.

Stop hitting the lectern geez / what if its into that?

Men who wear suspenders are such losers like why do you need so much cloth to keep your pants up. Why dont you just wear a belt. Where do you live. What is your timezone. What are you office hours

what is this suspender shaming ari chappal for you

Aziraphales office hours are: fuck off

Put me ina room with a suspender wearing man and he shall have the same fate as kilttennant

MARIYADAM E ILLAI

It was titled "snake in my b***" It meant butt lmfao

CROWLEY AND LOKI MY GENDERFLUID ICONS

THE KNEES ARE BACK

THEKNEES GOD SAVE ME FROM THESE SINFUL THOUGHTS

What if slutshaming is my kink?

NOT THE BLOWJOB FACE NO

AT THIS POINT IF NEIL HASN'T UNFOLLOWED ME YET HE'S ASKING TO BE MENTALLY SCARRED IM SORRY

I am failing

Tagging the main culprits whose tumblr handles I know:

@thearoacemess @vitrilol @queermarzipan @good-usernames-were-taken

Cheers, maggots.

[starlightsuffered]

Sloppy Toppy

Info - slutty behavior, teasing, kissing cock, squeezing balls, oral (male receiving), a little size kink, needy Timmy, reader barks for Timmy, spitting on cock

I walked in to see Timothée taking one of the sexiest selfies l'd ever seen. His hand laid gently by his crotch.

"Woof woof," I said. He looked up with a smirk.

"Yeah?"

"Ha ha ha," | panted like a dog.

"That's nice to hear," he smiled.

"You're such a slut Timothée, you know your followers know what you're doing right? Now everyone is going to think about your cock," I whined.

"Yeah, I am slutty, but I always come home to you. Now everyone gets to see what only you get. They can fantasize about my cock all they want, but it's yours," he explained. I marched right over to him and dropped to my knees.

He smirked down at me. He licked his lips as I pulled down his pants. I had my hand on his velvety length, pumping him to get him hard.

"Shhhhh," he hissed, his head falling back a bit.

"You're the hottest man alive. You could literally put me on a leash," I told him.

"Darling," he groaned.

"I love being the only one who gets to do this. I love worshiping your body. Your cock is so so perfect," I told him.

"You know just how to work me up," he moaned, hips jutting forward needily. I licked along the side of his cock.

"Fucking tease," he growled.

"Isn't that what you were just doing to your poor fans? Sounds like you're not too opposed," I giggled. I waggled my tongue on his slit.

"Merde!" He cursed in French.

"Ohhh, French, that's how I know you're feeling good," I tittered.

"How could I not, you're so fucking hot," he whined. I kissed his cock head five times in a row. He was panting heavily. I gently scratched his thigh, while I popped his head in and out of my mouth quickly.

"Get on with it!" He whimpered. I smirked and squeezed his balls.

"Just be grateful," I said smugly.

"Mmmmmm," he whined angrily in the back of his throat.

I slowly dragged a finger up and down his cock. I felt it throb and his precum leaked in a stream down onto the floor.

"Come on please," he sounded like a big baby. I loved stealing the power from him. From smirking to squirming.

I gathered drool and let it slide down onto his shaft.

"Oh fuck me," he gasped as he watched with wide eyes.

"You're so hot Timothée," I said, batting my eyes.

"THEN WILL YOU FUCKING SUCK MY COCK!" He exclaimed. I laughed and finally took him fully into my mouth.

"Oh FUCK!" He nearly squealed. I was surprised, he didn't usually sound so needy, but I liked it.

"Mon amour your mouth is so good," he moaned. I worked up and down his slick cock. I made sure the noises were pornographically wet. He was a moaning wreck as I sucked him.

"Mon amour, your mouth, it's so small. Oh my big cock can barely fit in your mouth. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you look so pretty with with a face stuffed full of cock!"

"Mmmmm," I hummed on his length.

"You're so small, l'm so much bigger than you. Ohhh I could throw you around like a rag doll. Fuck I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum in your tiny, wet, warm - FUCK!" He ended in a scream as drool slipped down my chin. His hips involuntarily jutted forward, his balls slapping my chin.

"Ohhhh," he sighed, and slide his cock out of my mouth. He got down on his knees. He kissed my lips softly.

"You did amazing," he said. "Thank you for that excellent sloppy toppy."

"Oh shut up," I giggled and kissed him.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Bark For Me

Sometimes @turbulentscrawl has to hear me be silly lol (a lot) with one brain cell active when in matches with Fool's Gold

Rated: Mature | Warnings: pet play (in horny jail again)

It was a joke! You told him that, repeatedly, what you said was a joke! You should have known he would take to the next step and further.

“Norton, I was kidding!” Nervous as the hunter removes his belt.

“And so am I. Let's play a little while longer.” Using to his advantage your inability to fight back from being downed by his attack. Even if he is your partner, both of him, he will still do his job. Norton will make sure it is quick.

You make a gagging sound as he wraps the belt around your neck and pulls before locking it in place by the buckle, a sadistic grin on his face as you grab the belt and are dragged closer to him while on your knees.

“Bark.” He says with a sudden serious face.

“What!?” Shocked yet you should not given he loves degrading you before fucking you. Hunter Norton likes to see you in tears and sucks at aftercare.

“Bark or I can chair you.”

You glare at him, “...” Going on all fours and glaring at him, “Woof.”

He laughs, long and hard, even hitting his knee as if that was the greatest joke of all time! “God, you are something else, sparky.” Oh, fuck him for taking this too far. “Now bark with some enthusiasm!”

You do it, and you do it louder too, you swear to never joke around him again! The alarm goes off singling the ciphers are done but you know Norton won't let you live just yet.

“Hmm, I can see the appeal.” Walking with you crawling on your hands and knees towards the dungeon, “Think about it, you can either behave and get rewarded. Or you can be a bitch and get muzzled.”

You say nothing nor do you move after that statement.

“Maybe this will get you to start behaving with me, sparky.”

You roll your eyes.

“Give me your paw.” Gesturing as he presents his broken hand, “Come on, come on, pup.” Talking to you as if you are a dog.

It was risky your reaction but you attacked him, pushing him forward and growling at him before hopping into the dungeon.

“Oh, come on! I was teasing!”

“No, fuck you! Fuck you my knees and palm hurt!”

“That sounds like the usual— I was kidding! Don't ignore me. Come on, sparky.” You refuse to acknowledge him as you are about to leave the room you both went to in order to meet after the match. Norton is sorry but you are not pleased nor forgiving at the moment.

“Maybe if you get on your knees and crawl around in the fucking snow, I might look at you.” Huffing, you are at the door but not opening it, he tugs on your shirt with his good hand; you move with him until he has you sitting down on the old couch. It took a lot of work to make the attic both comfortable and breathable. Both Nortons had to for once put something above themselves and worked together to make this space. Greed can be useful! Especially when that greed is towards you.

It is not a five-star luxury hotel level but you loved it, adding your touch to their work.

A pocket of peace.

“(Name).” Soft-toned, “I am very sorry.” Your foot bounces your leg. “I didn't mean it. You looked really good and you know I can't help myself around you.”

“Pft, sounds like a you problem, goldie.”

“Please forgive me.” Resting his head on your lap. His chest pressed against your legs, “So sorry.” Look up at you with a sweet smile. The height difference is humorous yet endearing given this Fool's Gold who often is an ass.

“Hmm,” Norton picks his head up to kiss where the belt left its mark, the mark is not too bad but you had removed it after coming out of the dungeon and you swore you going to burn his damn belt! “Fine. God, I hate when you use begging against me.” Because you do and are very weak to how his voice lowers, his eyes half shut, and the way he just submits. 

Awful man, terrible man, and you love him so much. Norton knows it, both of them do! 

Pushing buttons because you are their ‘spark’ and they love that fire of yours roar with life. May you never change.

The hunter laughs as you pet his hair while grumbling about him being nice or something.

[thew4nder3r]

I don't know why but i just think about Miguel with a latina girlfriend but not just any latina. A mexican girl. And a lil something about us mexican girl is that we only take shit from two men. Our fathers and god. No else. 💁🏽‍♀️

He hates how much of a chokehold you have on him.

i mean, he's the leader of the whole ass spider organization but the second he sees you mumbling in spanish oh god this man's never experienced this much fear.

one day, he had sent you on a mission to another universe and you came back soaked in rain and pissed off.

"How was it- oh shit." He quickly shut up when he saw your angry face.

"oh it went amazing." You yank your mask off and throw it to god knows where.

"Miguel i swear to fucking god the next time you send me on a mission and i come back soaking wet i WILL SNAP YOUR NECK." he knew you didn't mean it but the way you got in his face and on the tips of your toes as you yelled made his body tense.

"Su puta madre me voy a regresar a mi universo y quedarme con mi papá por que con una CHINGADA YA ME HARTE DE ANDAR PERSIGUIENDO PINCHES GENTE POR CIUDADES QUE NI CONOZCO!" You screamed and ranted about how much you hated chasing people around 24/7. "Tiene hambre mi chiquita?" God that nickname it made you melt.

"yea...very hungry." You stand up from the couch, grabbing your hair and pushing it behind you.

"I made soup." "Congrats. You didn't burn the house down." You joke and he playfully pushes your shoulder.

"How was the mission?" He asked, sitting next to you. "You were gone for a while."

you sigh. "It was okay, supongo. We caught who we needed to catch but then the rain started pouring and now i look like a soaked cat."

he grabs your hair, pulling it into a low ponytail. "So it doesn't irritate mi princesa."

How does he do this? Every time you're in a bad mood, he always makes you feel better. "Thanks." You smile. "Am i crazy or is your skin darker than last week?" You laugh. "Don't you like my skin? Or would you prefer a blonde chic who can't go outside without getting a sunburn?" You smirk at him. He comes closer to you, kissing your jawline. "I like your skin like this. Mi morenita~" you giggle. You lean in to kiss his lips but stop only an inch away from him. "I missed you..."

He HATES how everyone makes fun of him.

Lyla always tells him how "he's the boss but she's the mastermind."

One time, Hobby had gotten on his nerves and he had started to go off on him until he felt your hand on his shoulder.

"miguel. No seas grosero." Everyone went silent. Expecting Miguel to start fuming. How DARE anyone tell him what to do?!

"Fine." Everyone was so confused. "Did she?" "Yep."

"what the hell are all of you looking at?! GET OUT!!" Ahh there he is.

Once everyone had left, he pressed his body against yours and hid his face in your neck. "God i hate that kid." You laughed at how exhausted he sounded.

okay. Now we're getting into the smut part of it. So yea. 🧍‍♀️💦

God this man.

he's fucking animalistic.

"Hmm yea you like this don't you? Ohh yea cum for papi. Cum on papi's dick."

woof woof bark 😫💦

he likes when you're a brat but he'll never admit it.

"Maldita niña malcriada. What would your father think, hmm? Seeing your boyfriend fuck the brat outta you?"

He'll wrap his hand around your neck and push you deeper into the pillows of your shared bed.

He looks all high and mighty but he will melt the moment you push him down onto his chair and straddle his lap.

"Ohh yea. Muy bien chiquita." He's got a firm grip on your hips as he stares at the place where your bodies met.

he loved seeing how face contort in please. Your wavy dark hair cascading down your shoulders as you bounced on his dick.

"You like bouncing on my dick, corazón? Yea yea you do, pretty girl. Keep bouncing just like that." His praises made you clench around him causing him to let out a whimper.

this man can eat me for breakfast lunch and dinner 😘