#I am not writing a paper for school
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What I am writing is so utterly depressing, what the hell
I am going to bed
#Ramblings#Remember that thing I do where the first fic I write in any fandom is apparently always centered on mortality?#Yeah that#If anyone is interested in beta-ing a character study on Moiraine about Lan and death#With mentions of Lanaeve and Siuaraine#But man it is bleak so far#Temporary title was biathanatos which is telling#Disclaimer regarding the beta-ing: English is not my mother tongue but I will still make stylistic choices that please me#As long as it's grammatically sound and comprehensible I am good with how I sound#I am not writing a paper for school
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a self-esteem guidebook: learning to embrace your imperfect self (1992) - kenneth a. beavers
"exploding you with my mind"
#i say this a lot#sorry i havent been active like#AT ALL#ive been dealing with some health issues#and also school stuff#writing a research paper about the renaissance#love the renaissance am normal about it#hmu if you love henrician england or hans holbein#anyway#blackout poem#blackout poetry#author#book#poetry
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Me, rambling to my wife about this crackpot theory I came up with in the shower about how Les Miserables may have been an answer to The Count of Monte Cristo, or at least could be read as such: ... But then Valjean didn't personally screw Javert over like Dantes' enemies did-
My wife: Are you sure Valjean didn't screw Javert? I thought I read that on AO3 once.
#the train of thought leading up to my statement was whether it was Valjean one could read as a foil to Dantes or Javert#'cause of Javert's whole obsession with bringing Valjean to justice#bookblr#les miserables#the count of monte cristo#anyway nothing's gonna come of this crackpot theory of mine 'cause I am no longer in school and have no more essays to write#but by golly this would be a delicious topic to write a big ol' thesis style paper on#still an English major nearly 10 years out of cool leg apparently#well both these books are French but still#OKAY BUT LISTEN the two authors were contemporaries#and maybe arguably friends? according to the bio sketch of dumas in the intro of my CoMC copy?#I would have to do more research on their relationship and also whenabouts each was writing their respective thing#cause iirc aren't both books set around the same time period as well (mid-19th century) with a lot of the action being in Paris?#anyway right#ignore me and my nerdy nerdy book thoughts#these have been rambling tags with usagi
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say what you will about gender, money, time, race, borders, or any other enforced social construct ... NOTHING in the world is more made up than citation styles
#grad school gang join me in group weeping#sorry dearest students at the writing center no i DONT remember which style needs a comma before the year and which doesnt#i dont care i dont care *weeping* it doesnt matter i dont wike it#let me just sit with you while you read my essays and then i will take your hand and gently lead you to my sources as friends. maybe more.#feeding you my sources from my cupped palms#makes a moodboard for all of my sources with images full stolen from pinterest#anyway i feel normal and fine#i am being so brave about this 25 page research paper
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Congrats on 100 followers! I'm SO proud of you! Can I please request Sigma with number 1 (Reader is calling Sigma cute)?
"Your cute face, cotton"
ʚїɞ Sigma x Gn!Reader
ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!
ʚїɞ word count: 528
ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader’s gender is not specified
ʚїɞ UIDBVEJVU THANK YOU ANON!! Your few nice words have more meaning to me than you may think <3
“Your cuteness is making everyone stare. Stop it.”
What do you mean, love?”
Does this man really doesn’t realize how goddamn cute he’s acting!? Everyone keeps looking at him when they notice!
“I mean what I said.”
“Yeah, but what did you mean, [Name]?”
Sigma, contrary to what he thinks, was showing way more excitement than he thought, simply because you gave him the plushie you won at one of the stands at the fair you took him to.
You could see how stressed he was for the past week, and looking at the fact that everything started to calm down 2 days back, you proposed to unwind a little.
You two decided to just take a walk at first, before noticing there’s a fair nearby. At the start, you planned to get only food but upon noticing the bi-colored-haired man's gaze falling onto the multiple plushies in the many stands that were around, you decided to play the games. You promised yourself to win at least once.
For Sigma’s sake, of course.
After quite a lot of (expected) losses, you finally won one of the games. And from what you observed earlier, this one seemed to be the most rigged! Jokes on the owner for believing you can’t win.
“There’s no way you can win my game! For sure not without experience with this specific game.”
Her face was priceless upon the realization that you actually managed to win, without ever playing that game before. You wish you’d have taken a photo.
But how were you supposed to know that the adorable expression on your lover’s face is gonna attract attention?
You chose a panda plushie as your reward, Coincidentally, the colors on the panda are the 2 colors your boyfriend has as his hair, so you decided that it’s perfect.
You turned to him, raised the plushie towards him, and upon noticing his confusion, said “It’s for you, cotton. I thought you may like it.”. His face of pure happiness was worth every yen that went out of your pockets to be used on those goddamn games. The small smile he was trying to hide because he didn’t want to show how happy he was from receiving the plush, the gentle look in his eyes, the way his face softened just a tad bit more than usual around you.
Without your knowledge, some people noticed the exchange, and since they started to stare, others did too, out of curiosity. And before you realized it, there was way more people than you would like, staring at you and your boyfriend.
“I mean that people are staring at us, more specifically at you, because of your cute face, cotton.”
“HUH?!”
That was enough for Sigma to snap out of whatever daze he was in, and look around. Upon noticing all the people around the both of you, a red hue rushed to the man's face, before he grabbed your hand and dragged you away with him out of embarrassment.
“You’re really not helping your case with that blush… cutie-”
“STOP!”
He really needs to stop being this cute, your heart won’t be able to take it one day.
Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
Do not copy or translate my works on/to any site
#I love this random nickname I thought of#Sigma is officially named 'cotton' on this blog now#I don't take no's#I am speed#I am actually writing the asks so fast bcs I don't have my phone at school#I risk everything by writing first on paper)#fuck the ball that hit my phone last week#I hope it deflates#bsd x reader#bsd#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x y/n#bungo stray dogs#bsd x you#x reader#sigma#sigma x reader#bsd sigma
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first line fic game
tagged @dreamsaremywords, @sassymajesty, @dysco-lymonade
rules: don't reblog the first one, make a new post! look at the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any!
1. flowers in your hair : The door chimed, a cheery little note that pulled Lexa out from where she was intently reading, chin propped up in her palms.
2. Good Vibrations : Lexa is staring particularly hard at the one penis-shaped water stain in the damp ceiling, trying her absolute hardest not to eavesdrop on the couple that was standing a stone’s throw away, arguing hotly next to a hot pink, two-foot-long dildo that Lexa would hazard a guess at being at least as large around as her forearm.
3. Call Me By Your Name: The summer night Clarke met Lexa was hot and syrupy, with sunlight streaming in thick buttery ribbons through the dappled olive trees that dotted the Griffin’s family villa.
4. i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart): Eyes watering from the biting cold winds that whipped endlessly through the streets of New York, Lexa toed her shoes off as soon as she had crossed the warm threshold.
5. Can You Feel My Heart?: Slow, fat water drops trailed their way down damp cave walls, wending unsteady paths to join larger puddles quietly gathering in the uneven stone of the floor, shimmering with fading light as the last smudges of daylight scrape against the horizon.
6. deep in our bones the old songs are waking, sing them with voices of thunder and rain: The waves are towering, writhing monsters as they crash over the bow of the ship, the wooden helm creaking ominously as bitingly cold sea water gushes across the already saturated deck.
7. we were born sick, you heard them say it (take me to church): Clarke stepped into the confession booth, feeling the fancy cut glass tremble in her hand as she did so, pulling the worn cotton curtain to safely enclose her from the dark echoes of the silent, empty church pews.
8. if the silence takes you then i hope it takes me, too: Clarke shivers as the wind whips icily around her, pulling her thick black peacoat tighter to her frame as she hunches her shoulders for a brief respite from the chill.
9. House of the Rising Sun: The heat in the south isn’t like other places.
10. What the Ground Gave Us (The Maiden and the Selkie): “Lexa,” Clarke breathes, smiling into the soft skin in front of her as Lexa peppers small, loving kisses over her eyes, her nose, onto the apples of her cheeks.
tagging @butmakeitgayblog @100hearteyes @syngularitysyn a @mozz14 @talktomeinclexa & whoever wants to do it, consider yourself tagged by me [boop], esp because i think most of my tumblr friends have done this!
#clexa#first 10#i clearly am a very descriptive writer ha ha ha#which who knows if this is a good thing#i miss writing for funsies#instead of huge ass academic papers#kpingrad school#missing my lil online friends!!#thinking of u always#can't wait to write soon
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i shouldnt have to go to classes in college i should just get to lie in bed all day and they should pay me $7,000 per semester. To do this.
#text#im so exhausted not physically just. brain#dont wanna get out of bed dony wanna go to classes. but i have to#might wntirely rewrite creative writing pronect. not sure what about#maybe i should email heather. say hi heather i need my paper work. also this school stuff is very overwhelming#see the thing is when im not in school i get depressed bc im bored#but when i am i get depressed bc im overwhelmed
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ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️
appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)
#say hi to mr. rainbow butterfly pen on the hito mania dust page. he's there to keep it flat. you get to see him as a treat#guys (in particular nobody) let me be fr. i completely came up with the jk!mtt's dynamic because i felt lonely. OK sue me#a person's allowed to project their friendship and socialization need onto their favs ok..... im lonly........#school starts soon time to die i say as i sleep peacefully in my comfy bed#I HAVEN'T DONE MY SUMMER HOMEWORK!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dust is soooo sasuke haraguchi core. he's SOOOO hito mania medicine coded. need dust content i miss him#i was giggling at jk!horror's expression in the bottom one. she is absolutely furious. the rage hidden behind that smile is comedic#this notebook paper is SO FUCKING GOOD OH GOD ITS ALL OVER THE SCREEN 🤤🤤🤤#it's so smooth to draw on i absolutely love it. and it's just soooo delectable i could eat this notebook#this is the notebook i previously mentioned. 2019 me ate this notebook up and now i am too because GODDAMN 😭😭😭#guys im so sorry i had a 4koma for the jk mtt im progress but then i decided to log onto hi3#and then i got distracted for a day. or two. or three. sowwy for not posting :3#drawing the mtt makes me :3 so bad its unreal. i only feel :3 when i see them /srs. they make me :3 they make me prrrr mrrwwwww moewwwwwrrr#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#tricule art#jk fashion au#guys would someone understand if i said that mtt was ✌️🤘🤙 coded. does someone get it. someone else HAS to understand#mtt and their random ass emojis i associate with them ✌️🤘🤙💙💜❤️✧☆♡🐱🐰🐶 UHHHHHGGHHHHthey are in everything#i forgot jk!dust's hairclips someone shoot me RIGHT NOW!#MY HANDWRITING IS SO ASS WTF#i have to add alt text just because this shit is so ass wtf i need to write properly#why is everything on paper you may ask? well its because drawing on digital is the most draining uncomfortable thing i've ever done. paper#I LITERALLY CANNOT GET USED TO DIGITAL. i just can't. i like having an ipad but i will always be better & more comfy on paper with pencil 🙁
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soliciting suggestions as to songs (of a folky nature, broadly speaking) you feel might fit a playlist entitled 'The Butcher's Share; Profits and Prices: Who Makes What & What Is Paid By Whom?'
i've got eighteen so far that form a loose 'no ethical consumption-profits valued more than people-dying to make a living-luxuries underpinned by human suffering-status quo of capital-sweeping unsavoury truths under the rug-acceptable losses-outsourced exploitation' thesis
but i'm casting my net wide to other minds who might hold yet-unknown-to-myself gems
#particularly rapid unintelligible patter#it's either craft playlists like this or write a master's dissertation and i am NOT going back to school#so my spotify just looks like a jstor library#...and i use jstor to write playlists instead of term papers
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brb crying over my thesis feedback (in a good way)
#my thesis advisor said my writing style is “concise and appealing to read" which is 🥲🥲🥲#a relief to hear bc I am constantly worried that I'm rushing to my point without explaining enough or giving enough context#and fam when I tell you I was ready to drop out over this paper lmao#grad school stuff
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the thing is that i am always thinking about the locked tomb. even when im not saying anything about it just know its on my mind
#i am writing about a specific part of one of the books for a lit analysis paper for my religion and ecological disaster class#bc that’s the kind of thing one does as a grad student in divinity school
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watching dementia the musical instead of doing my screenwriter responsibilities
#yes i did get myself into a screenwriting situation#idk why#i am now directing and screenwriting#wth am i doing with my life#i also have to write a film analysis paper#have i mentioned that i'm in stem?#lei does stem school#the notebook musical#musical theatre#broadway#musicals#theatre kid#broadway musicals#theatre#musical
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sometimes i have to remind myself that im 22 and doing school for the rest of my life. so i get super high before i work on my projects. because im 22. and thats what the 22 y/o undergrads are doing. i hate grad school.
#arin shut up#grad school blues#i hate when people say. oh your masters degree isn’t that different from undergrad!!! you’re still a full time student!!!#i am killing you with hammers#i did NOT have to be writing FOUR 15 page research papers at once#i miss being an undergrad. it was so much more FUN.#(even if the content in grad school is much better)
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so i have to keep doing this every day forever and ever…..
#michelle speaks#I AM SOOOOOO TIRED I WANT IT TO STOP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i need so badly SO BADLY to not be doing an externship anymore i am so exhausted & i haven’t even gone to it since last monday#it’s just knowing that i have 8 hrs on fridays it kills me u don’t know how badly u need 3 day weekends in law school until they r gone 😭😭😭#just five more weeks…….on GOD just five more weeks………..#and then next semester i get to spend a ton of time writing my comment!!!! yay yippee yahoo hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!#comment is a 40-80pg legal paper btw 🤪 i can’t remember what the exact number is for my journal but it’s like 7k words 😭#i’m sure it will be fine when i figure out what feminist legal topic i want to write abt bc when smth interests me i can write so much#so i’m not THAT worried abt the length i notoriously write too much in fact. but i am going to have to figure out what i want to write abt#which is always the hardest part but ANYWAY. point being i want this to be OVER. and by this i mean my life in general.
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I knew it!! Iiiiiiii knew it!! AMA cites in order of appearance which means I need to reorder my references bc for SOME REASON zotero orders them alphabetically instead!!! (And i added more to a previous section bc i felt it made it more "complete" but now i have another citation, which disrupts ALL MY SUBSEQUENT CITATIONS, why thank you for punishing me for doing my research this way, stupid citation styling!!)
😾😾😾
ok to be fair, AMA and Vancouver citations and others like it are my favorite from a USER's perspective. it's terrible to have to write using it.
#words thrown at the wall#watch me rant about my biochem paper#i am *THIS CLOSE* to be being done#but i am second guessing the entire thing!!#it's time for a reluctant break#i tried doing the other school stuff i need to do ideally by end of day today#but my stupid brain keeps circling back to the biochem paper#so i canNOT concentrate on anything else atm#ugh#a short break#it has to help#academic writing#studyblr#premedblr#bioblr#medblr#academic research
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they all love me for the way i get a little prosey on the canvas discussion board
#for reference im majoring in something that requires the reading comphrension of a hatter driven mad by mercury exposure#and the upper division history electives are now my only artistic outlet at school. aside from some unnecessarily detailed renderings of#protists. that i doodle during lab/rec#so yah I am getting a lil prosey with it#professor you want me to debate the validity of non-written historical sources in sub-saharan africa? let's fucking go#anything to get a respite from chemistry people's writing (i stg. one second it's “this is water :D it makes hydrogen bonds!!”#then its “DECODE THIS ALPHABET SOUP OF AMINO ACIDS NOW YOU LITTLE BITCH OR ELSE YOU WON'T GET THIS PAPER A T A L L”)#I understand that you need specialized language for this field. and I have way less trouble understanding publications than#ye average underprepared undergrad (thanks research experienceeees). and i genuinely do love learning the right terminology#but man it's so joyful to actually write something meaningful. to have opinions and hypotheses that don't have to be shared through#sixty layers of veiled#journal-approved words. anyway
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