#I am not surprised by anything they do anymore

[chanafehs]

There is literally nothing that motivates me more than seeing that genocidal entity fall in my lifetime - I will bear witness to what some of my family members never lived to see

[the-curious-butterfly]

Today just feels like a day for firsts so this is for them.

Chloe was sitting on her bed doing schoolwork when Red came, more like barreled, in. She had thought to greet her roommate or say anything really, but all the words got caught in her throat as soon as she looked up and saw the look on her face. There was this intensity to her eyes that would have been frightening if it wasn’t for the fact she was also smiling. Though their eyes met for only a second before she beelined it towards Chloe. Taking the Charming completely by surprise as all she could get out was a “Red, what-“ and then she couldn’t speak anymore. Suddenly her lips were too busy with something soft and tender and…oh.

Funny, she originally thought of herself as more resistant to give in but the minute she felt those lips she was done for. Her body gave a quiet sigh as it went limp, the only thing holding her up was Red who had wrapped her arms around her the moment she sat upon the edge of the bed. Pulling her closer and closer to the point Chloe felt like she would break, but also that it wasn’t close enough.

Chloe has heard and read about first kisses. None of that had prepared her for this. Where first kisses are described as slow, soft, and sweet. Red is quick, intense, and yet still somehow so sweet. While her movements may seem erratic Chloe could tell she was being rather mindful, especially with her teeth. At one point Red even bit her bottom lip, though only enough to tease not to hurt. Her hands, which travel up and down her back now, feel more soothing rather than needing.

How is it possible that Red is kissing her senseless, yet reassuring her that she isn’t losing her senses all at the same time.

It’s so Red. So very very Red. Just like this first kiss.

This perfect first-

…Wait.

After what felt like a lifetime, but was really only moments, Chloe had found the strength to place her hands upon Red’s arms and slowly push her away. Breaking the intensity but not the kiss, not completely anyway. Red’s lips chased hers, though she wasn’t the only one to blame.

“Wait, wait.” Oh good, she hadn’t completely lost her voice. She had been worried about that for a minute. Before she could say anymore, however, Red took her breath away once more for a completely different reason. Something was being held before her that she swears wasn’t there a second ago, something circular that looks oddly enough like a-

“What, Red?!”

“No this isn’t me proposing, not yet at least, this is me saying I don’t mind the thought of marrying you either. Someday.”

All Chloe could do was stare at Red, because really what is she suppose to say to that? Was she suppose to reach out and take the ring? Which was silver and plain looking, but that’s not what mattered. Chloe wouldn’t have cared if it was plastic, what she cares about is the person offering it to her and saying they’re fine with her.

“I talked to Principal Uma and she helped me realize a few things. Number one being, Chloe, if I ever get to the point where I do marry you. It’ll be because I chose to, and how could I regret choosing the first person who believed I was more than what I seemed?”

Chloe stared at the ring then up into Red’s intense yet genuine gaze. “But…I also told you that you weren’t more than what you seemed when we met.”

The answer came after a spot of laughter. “I told you the same thing too, I called you a privileged little princess.”

“I am-was a privileged little princess.” Chloe could admit that now. Red on the other hand was never evil, not the way her mom is…or well was?

“You sure you’re not still are?” She raises a perfectly constructed brow as she teases Chloe. Prompting said girl to shove her off the bed, ring still in hand. “Hey, at least accept this first before you kick me off.”

“Nope, keep teasing me and I might never.”

Red feigns a rather audible gasp. “You wouldn’t!”

Chloe looks down at the pouting child before relenting with a sigh. “You’re right, I wouldn’t, I love you too much to do that.”

There it was, Chloe said it. It was the first time she told Red that she loved her. Six months after you start dating, even if you hadn’t had your first kiss yet, was enough time right? She sure hoped so, except Red isn’t responding nor can she read the expression on her face.

Oh fairy godmother, this was a mistake wasn’t it?

It was a mistake. It was a mistake.

“It was-“

She couldn’t even finish as a pair of lips had defended upon her once more. Though this kiss was a lot different from the first. It was much more like the ones she’s read and heard about. It’s so very soft, slow, and sweet. It’s fireworks and fairy song and everything she’s ever imagined. Red’s arms are sitting on her shoulders this time so Chloe places hers around the other girl’s waist. Something small falls onto one of the sheets of paper scattered around her bed, but she’s too focused on Red to care about what it is.

She takes this to mean a good thing, even if Red hadn’t said it back. The fact that she’s kissing Chloe like this must be a good sign.

That thought gets reinforced when Red pulls away to rest her forehead against Chloe’s. “I’m not very good at the whole feeling thing so I didn’t know how else to respond. Just, know that it wouldn’t feel enough to say that I like you.”

Chloe’s smile in response is so radiant she’s pretty sure she should have gotten the name Charming for that alone. Red herself could barely look at it, but she couldn’t look away either.

Except suddenly that radiant smile turned into an amused frown. “Did you say you went to Principal Uma for advice?”

“Yes…look, I had to go to someone and Maddox is a whole kingdom away.”

“So you went to the Principal? Shouldn’t that be something I would do?”

“What can I say, maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”

“Or maybe you respect certain authority more than you like to let on.”

“Chloe Charming, you take that right back this instant.”

“Or else what?” At this point Chloe unconsciously starts rubbing Red’s back through the fabric of her riot jacket. Red’s response is to rub their noses together.

“Or else I’ll stop hanging out with you.”

“Hanging out? Is that what we’ve been doing?”

“Have we not, that’s what people do isn’t it?”

“Red, you really do need more friends.”

Red gently bites Chloe’s left ear causing Chloe to give out a soft yelp. “First of all, rude. Second, why would I need more friends when I have you?”

“That’s exactly what someone who needs more friends would say. Wait, don’t you dare bite the other one!”

Too late, she bit the other one too.

[prettypinkporkchop]

Can I request one where the reader overhears her boyfriend Paul calling the reader clingy so she went from being by his side to always having plans barley seeing him and he finally gets her and she just breaks down saying she didn’t wanna be clingy anymore

You smile to yourself as you walk around Billy Black's house toward the back, where you know Paul is.

"Yes! Same, dude! Is y/n the sam way as Nessie?" You hear Jacob ask. "She's just clingy!" You can hear Paul say. Your heart jumps and then falls onto the ground, shattering. You feel sick to your stomach. You don't even want to hear the rest. You turn your feet and walk right back to your car. You start the engine and go.

On the drive back home, you're crying. But, things are going to change if you want to keep Paul.

You stop at a gas station and pull out your phone. You call your coworker who you get along with.

"Hey Angela." You say. "Hey! What's up? Oh, if it's to cover for your shift Thursday, I would, but I can't. Ask for any other day, though!" She pipes up. "No, no. I was actually wondering if you wanted to hang out." You say. She pauses but then starts talking again, "Yes! When? Where?" She giggles. "Are you busy now?" You smile. "Nope."

You drive to Angela's house. You know where she lives, considering you've had to scoop her up for work a couple of times. Her car hates to start on freezing mornings. You walk up the steps and knock on her door. Eric opens it. Typical Eric, in his nice suit from work. "Hello?" He asks. "Hey! I'm Angela's coworker, y/n. I'm just coming to hang out." You say. "Oh!" He smiles and then points at you, "Yeah, yeah! She just mentioned that! Come in." He lets you inside.

You get home, and you go to bed. Your phone starts ringing. You pick it up. "Y/n, where have you been?" He asks kind of angrily. "I've been with Angela." You reply. "Your coworker?" He asks. "Yes." You say dryly. "Oh.. uh, you didn't tell me?" He said. "Sorry, babe." You sigh. "You're acting off." He said. You had to think quickly. "I just forgot to tell you. I'm sorry, babes. Needed some girl time." You giggle. "Oh, I see. Well, tomorrow I'm not doing anything at all! My day off of being a wolf." He laughs. Your heart is pounding. Oh god, do you want to be next to him. "Want to come over?" He asks. "Uh, no, I have plans." You say. You put him on speaker phone and go through your contacts. "With who?" He asks, surprised. You see the texts between you and Leah. She asked you a couple of days ago to decorate her house since you're good at that. "Leah wants me to decorate her house." You text her saying you'll be there tomorrow. "How about after?" He asks. "I'll visit for a little bit." You sigh.

-------- 2 weeks later -----

You wake up to pounding on your door. You jump up out of bed and open the door. There stands a disheveled, hurt, and angry Paul. "Paul?" You ask. He pushes past you and walks inside, going straight to your room. You follow him, and he bear hugs you. Squeezing you and sighing of relief. "Jesus christ. You know it hurts to stay away from you. Why the fuck have you been avoiding me?" He pulls away and looks at you. Seeing him in this state and completely missing him just brings tears to your eyes. You can't hold it anymore. You sit on your bed and start sobbing. "What is going on, baby?" He leans down and holds your face, looking into your red eyes. He wipes your tears away, and you blink a few times. "Paul, I heard what you said to Jacob at Billy's house." You said. He raises an eyebrow. "I'm too clingy." You said dryly. "If that's what I am to you and you're unhappy, you should've just told me. I'm scared to lose you." You cry. "Babygirl." He pulls you into him. "No, I didn't mean it like that at all. I love that you're clingy. It's my favorite thing ever." He cooes. You shake your head and try to push him off. "No. You meant it bad, I could tell." You sniffle. He holds tighter, so you can't get out of his grip. "We were talking about you and Renesmee. We were saying things that we like that most guys hate. Babygirl, we are soulmates. Nobody understands what it's like to truly love someone." He strokes your hair. You look up at him, and now you feel stupid. "I promise you. I can't lie to you, you know that. And look at me!" He chuckles. "I actually feel like death.'' He says. "I'm so sorry." You sigh and wrap your arms around his neck. He kisses you deeply, it feel like the first time kissing him. It feels like it's been forever. He pulls away from your lips very slowly. "I'm staying the night." He says, demanding. You laugh and nod your head.

[melon-fodder]

Love You to Death • T. Hiragi

Warnings: angst, crying, insecurities, light sexual content

Word Count: 1k

Note: a @pixelcafe-network challenge! I was given the song Love You to Death by Type O Negative and did not think I’d make it in time, but then I decided harness my bad brain day into something creative. Some of the lines are taken by/based off of the lyrics. Dividers by @/adornedwithlight.

You struggle with it. Often. Wondering if you’re good enough for him—knowing you’re not.

He’s so strong, so honorable, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders while caring for you. You’re just another stressor, just another stomach ache.

Usually you can keep your doubts to yourself, work through them and rationalize. If Hiragi didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t be, right?

But there are some days when he can just tell. It’s the set of your jaw, the sag of your shoulders, the way you take things the wrong way and then punish yourself for it.

You don’t deserve him, and he deserves so much more than you.

That’s what you believe, anyway.

Hiragi on the other hand…

“Stop being so fucking mean to yourself,” he tells you, begs you. “Hate when you get like this. What can I do?”

“It isn’t about what you can do, Toma. It’s about what I can or can’t or should do. It’s—” you hiccup, frantically wiping at falling tears. You hate crying because of shit like this. You’re already such a burden, and now it feels like you’re manipulating him. “It’s all the ways I should be better for you.”

“You’re perfect for me,” he insists, taking hold of your wrists to pry your hands from your eyes. “Look at me.”

You don’t, not until he gently takes hold of your chin. “Baby… if I wasn’t happy, I’d talk to you about it. I promise.”

All you can do is try and fail to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Wish you’d do the same. Just talk to me.”

“I am happy with you. You make me happy. And you—you do so fucking much for me. I’m just s-so scared that one day you’re gonna—gonna realize that you’re tired of putting up with my bullshit.”

Your voice is all over the place, wet and warbling, squeaky then silent. You can’t control it, can’t control anything about yourself, it seems.

“I’m not putting up with anything,” Hiragi tries, “I’m not makin’ any sacrifices.”

“I don’t believe you,” you respond quietly. It’s not angry, nor is it argumentative. It’s a statement of fact because— “I don’t understand how you could, like, not get frustrated with me.”

Hiragi chuckles, the hand on your chin has moved to the back of your head to lightly scratch your scalp.

“Oh, I get frustrated with you, make no fuckin’ mistake. Just not for what you think.”

You stay silent, just stare at his handsome face, enjoying the weight of his hand in your hair.

“It’s not your little piles or your forgetfulness or your inability to be on fuckin’ time to anything,” he lists, and you clench your teeth to fight back more tears. “I don’t care about those things. Not anymore, anyway. It’s when you let shit fester and start spiraling and you don’t talk to me.”

You rest your head in his hand and shut your eyes, not surprised when you feel him wipe away the droplets streaming down your cheeks.

“Can’t help it,” your murmur. “Chronic overthinker.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware,” he says, and when you crack your eyes open again you see him smirking.

Fingers dig into your scalp with a little more force, scratching and making you hum in contentment. When he speaks again, his voice is laced with something a little more serious, a little more desperate: “How ‘bout you let me turn that brain off for a bit. Let me prove I mean what I’m sayin’.”

It’s hard to stay sad when he’s looking at you like that, brown eyes darkening a shade, sharp teeth nibbling on his lower lip.

“What’d you have in mind?”

Hiragi doesn’t answer, just pulls your face to his for a deep kiss. He licks the salt off your lips while wiping your puffy, tear-stained face with his thumbs then carefully pushes against you so that you lay back on the bed you’ve spent the last hour crying in.

“I love you so much,” you feel more than hear, the shape of the words molding to your mouth, wrapping around your heart and squeezing.

A knee between yours, he lightly presses it to your core, letting out a quiet groan when you grind down on it.

“Just tell me what you want, baby,” he breathes, kisses down your neck, tongue tracing the curve of it before he stops to suck a bruise onto your heated skin. “Your wish is my law.”

“I want…” you pause for a shaky inhale then guide his face back up to yours. “I just want you to love me. Forever. I don’t wanna lose you.”

Hiragi’s face softens. He sighs thoughtfully, blinks at you slowly before lowering himself to kiss you with a tenderness that makes you want to cry all over again.

“I do. And you won’t. There’s not a bone in my body that wants to leave you.”

His last kiss lands on your forehead, and then you’re both gazing at one another in a way that would make your friends dry heave.

“Close your eyes now, princess,” he says, voice low and full of desire, “m’gonna love you to death.”

You don’t fight him, don’t try to argue that you’re the one who should be begging him, serving him. No, you let him descend on you, let him do whatever he pleases because he makes you feel so good.

His tongue spells out sweetly sinful words on your most sensitive flesh, his fingers insistent and appreciative as they curl into spaces you only bear to him. He moves slowly and deeply, pouring himself into you in more ways than one—adoration and fondness and promises spilling inside of you in warm, blissful release.

As promised, Hiragi manages to turn your brain off, that network of unfathomable connections rendered absolutely useless as he destroys every doubt and self-loathing habit by way of mind-numbing, toe curling orgasms. You suppose there’s a reason the French refer to them as little deaths.

“Good enough for you?” he asks teasingly when you’re both breathless and dazed. His lips are pretty and kiss-swollen, a slick mess dripping between the two of you.

“Too good,” you reply, a lopsided smile spreading across your face. “Too good to me.”

Hiragi raises an eyebrow. “But not too good for you, right?”

“Right,” you nod. “Just perfect for me.”

[gingiesworld]

I Am Not Matt

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Unhappy ending

18+ MINORS DNI

Taglist : @mothertoall2 @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @reginassweetheart @machyishere @gemz5 @pawiie @duckiekong (If you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

Ever since Y/N had come into Leigh’s life, she had finally started to believe that she could move on, move past the grief that swallowed her whole. Y/N had always surprised her with flowers when they came home from work, took her out on spontaneous dates and even cooked her her favourite meal. Even though those gestures made Leigh see just how lucky she was to have such an attentive partner, she slowly started to withdraw herself from the relationship. The nights they would spend together between the sheets became little to non-existent, the spontaneous dates never really happened as Leigh always came up with some sort of excuse as to why she didn’t want to do it. Even when she received flowers soon fizzled out, Y/N soon started to realise that she was pulling further and further away. They barely spoke anymore, everytime Y/N would start up a conversation, Leigh would completely shut it down almost immediately.

“I’m off.” Y/N would say every morning when they saw her in the kitchen having her morning smoothie, their heart broke a little when she only shrugged. So they left without a single word off of Leigh. They spent their day working under the hot sun, wondering what had went wrong between the two of them.

“You look like you could do with a drink after work.” Jim stated as he helped Y/N by holding the plank of wood in place for Y/N to drill it into place. “Trouble in paradise?”

“You could say that.” They answered him.

“Then it’s settled, we’re having a drink and you can tell me all about it.” He told them before they both moved on to their next tasks. The day soon went by fairly quickly, work and banter with their colleagues slowly taking their mind off of their failing relationship. Soon they found themselves sitting in a booth at a bar not too far from the construction site. “So, talk to us.” Jim told them once they had their first drink.

“You know Leigh and I have been together for a couple of years right.” Jim nodded and waited for them to continue. “I think she.” They took a deep breath. “She’s pulling away from me and I don’t know how I can fix it.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” He questioned as they just nodded.

“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore. There’s no communication with her and I am trying, I am really trying to do everything I can to try and make it right and make it work.” They rambled on as they played with their glass, swirling the liquid within. “I don’t think she loves me anymore.” They whispered sadly before they downed their drinks.

“How long has this been going on for?” He asked as Y/N shrugged.

“Months.” They told him honestly. “We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore, I know she gets out of our bed once she thinks I’m asleep.”

“Do you think she could be cheating on you?” He asked them as they shrugged.

“I don’t know.” They looked at him sadly. “I just, I love her more than anything and I don’t think she will ever feel for me the way I feel for her.”

“Well, I think you really need to make a decision, you have got to do what makes you happy.” He told them. “If your relationship is failing, and you’re the only one who is putting in all of the effort, it’s best to jump ship.”

“I was going to propose on our next anniversary.” They admitted. “I already have the ring and everything prepared.”

“I’m so sorry buddy.” Was all he could say before Y/N grabbed their wallet and left, paying the tab beforehand. They hadn’t realized the time when they had gotten home, seeing Leigh sat on the sofa, her eyes glued to the door in which they entered.

“Where were you?” She questioned them angrily. “You were supposed to be home hours ago!”

“So you finally noticed me?” They sneered as they moved towards the kitchen. “You’ve spent months ignoring me, forgetting I even exist.”

“Have you been drinking?” She questioned as they just laughed at her. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Why would I cheat on you, huh?!” They questioned angrily. “You know that is something I would never do! I don’t make promises just to break them, and I am not Matt.”

“No, you’re nothing like Matt.” Leigh seethed. “He knew me! He loved me!”

“If he loved you, he wouldn’t have cheated on you!” They yelled. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on you. You know the kind of person I am, when I want a relationship, I want to know that there is a future. You know very well I don’t do flings and I never saw you as just a fling.” They looked in her eyes sadly, reaching into their pocket. “I wanted everything with you, I wanted to build a life and a future with you. I love you so fucking much.” Their tears started to fall as they spoke. “But I know that you don’t love me, I was just a means to help you to try and forget your pain. It’s more like an addiction to you, and once I wasn’t doing it for you anymore, you go back into this place. You shut everyone out, everyone who loves, when was even the last time you spent time with your mom or Jules these past few months?”

“I see them every day.” She answered them with a scoff.

“At work!” They yelled. “You haven’t seen them at any other time! You go to work and then come home. Maybe you go to the store on some days to get you endless bottles of wine.”

“This isn’t even the point I was getting at!” She yelled in frustration, making Y/N laugh loudly.

“You haven’t spoke a single word to me, and you have the nerve to think I would hurt you.” They told her shakily. “You have no idea how much you have hurt me, you shut me out, I had no idea what I had done wrong, I was trying to figure it out for months. But, I had done things the way I have always done them since I first asked you out. I continued to do all of the things that made you smile, or laugh. I genuinely thought we had a future.” Leigh watched as Y/N had completely detached themselves from her. “I do love you, but I can’t do this anymore.” They told her as they pointed between themselves. “I can’t keep allowing myself to get hurt because I love you so much. It’s not fair on me.”

“What are you saying?” Leigh questioned, the first sound of regret in her voice.

“I’m saying it’s over.” They told her bluntly. “Us, we’re done. I’m done.” They sighed as Leigh just watched as they moved towards their room, grabbing a bag before packing some of their belongings. “I’m going to sign myself off of the lease.”

“You can’t.” Leigh whispered as she watched them from the doorway.

“I have to.” They told her as they zipped up their bag. “I need to leave before what we have kills me, and you need to move on. Just because you’re still alive while he’s not, doesn’t mean that you can’t learn to love someone new. You deserve to be happy Leigh, you just need to heal first instead of hiding from the pain.”

[nicole-timey-wimey-stuff]

Fuzzy Socks

Stepdad Negan x Fem! Reader

Word Count - 5200k

Warnings- Stepcest (if you don’t like it then please don’t read), age gap, Negan doesn’t meet reader before she’s 18, female bodied reader but no physical description of reader, smut, talk of feelings, mentions and descriptions of sex. Daddy kink, 18+ only please, toxic mother, Negan is a sweetheart in this despite the topic.

————————————————————

“I’m leaving” your mom announces coldly, abruptly disrupting your otherwise quiet dinner. You turn to her in shock, “What do you mean you’re leaving mom?” You were so confused, this was so out of the blue, did she mean on a trip? Or for the evening? Or did she mean forever? You weren’t ready to up and leave your life once again. You thought she was happy here, she seemed happier than previously. But she’d unfortunately always had a habit of this, she would find a man, settle down, then get cold feat and run away again, taking you from whatever school, friends and life you’d settled into and rerouting your whole life once again to a new town, usually hundreds of miles away.

But she’d married Negan, we’ve been here for three years now. Usually she’d leave within eight months. “Mom?” You nudge. “I’m leaving here, I’m not happy anymore. And I can no longer pretend that I am. I’m sorry Negan but I am leaving and I need a divorce.” She explained. All the while you sat there in total stunned silence, how could she do this to Negan? He was amazing, he was kind, funny, gorgeous, would do anything to help anyone. This didn’t make any sense! You looked over at Negan trying to gage his reaction but to your surprise he looked as if he’d seen this coming. “Mom please, don’t make me leave again I’m settled here, I have less than a year left of college, It would mess everything up, you’ve seemed happy here.” You plead.

“Oh no I’m not taking you this time honey, you’re twenty one now, you’re not a child anymore. I don’t have to take you with me. You can stay here, can’t she Negan?” Your mother assumed. Negan instantly nodded his head, “Of course she can, I’m not going to throw her out onto the streets am I? I vowed to take care of her, of both of you but apparently those vows mean nothing to you!” He argued. There was no way he’d let you leave anyway, you were doing well here and he wanted you to finish your degree, he’d grown very fond of you, loved you even. You were everything your mother was not, you were loyal and passionate, you were sweet, you put others before yourself. You were the single best thing that had ever happened to him. Even if his love for you had somewhat shifted into something else, something he couldn’t admit even to himself let alone out loud.

But he’d seen this coming. Over the last year your mother had grown distant, refusing any form of physical contact, and staying ‘out with friends’ more and more, staggering through the door again at 6:30am hoping no one noticed, but Negan did. He noticed the bed dip in the early morning as she tried and failed to crawl into bed quietly, he noticed the subtle smell of another man’s aftershave, clung to her body. All the while she thought she was being sneaky, that her secret was still hidden. But she showed no guilt, no remorse for cheating constantly, she didn’t care, and it was obvious to Negan that you were on the lower list of her priorities too.

Her words stung, you couldn’t lie and say they didn’t. All these years she just towed you with her because she had too? Did you really mean so little to her? You didn’t think you really wanted the answer to that question. So you swallowed any response down and just nodded, hanging your head low to hide the pain that was surely written all over your face.

This broke Negan’s heart, how could your mother be so cruel towards you? You’d been nothing but a kind and dutiful daughter. He wouldn’t sit here any longer watching you be hurt by her heartless words. “Fine, I’m taking Y/N out for a couple of hours, when we arrive home I expect you and your things to be gone!” He declares, standing up and collecting the dirty plates, bringing them into the kitchen. You look over at him in confusion, “Come on sweetheart lets go do something while your mother clears herself out of our lives.” He nudges you softly, his voice calm and sweet towards you.

Standing up from the table you nod at him, “I hope you find what you’re looking for mom” you speak, trying your best to keep your voice steady. “I will don’t worry, I’m free now” she responds, gleeful glint in her eyes. “Oh Negan, here” she calls, before handing him divorce papers, he looks them over, shockingly she wants nothing but the sports car he’d spent the last two years restoring. Did he love the car, yes. But he loved you more. “That’s fine” he sighs, before signing the papers and handing them back to her. Walking over to the entrance hall he grabs the keys to the car, throwing them over to you mum. “It’s all yours, take it and your belongings and go!” He growls.

“What no! Negan you love that car, you’ve spent years working on it.” You worry. “It’s fine Darlin’ we can find another to work on yeah?” He offers, you nod meekly. Your mum never deserved this man.

He grabs the keys to his truck and nudges you out the house, closing the car door you sigh as Negan puts the keys in the ignition, “Where do you wanna go sweetheart? We can go to the movies? Go get icecream? Or we can go for a walk in the park? It’s your choice.” Negan offers, “A walk sounds nice” you reply with small smile. This was much harder on you than it was for him. He hates to see you so sad, so he decides right then that he will make sure you never feel sad like this again, he will do everything in his power to make sure the light of his life is happy.

“Park it is then” he hums before starting the engine.

________________________________________

Arriving back home felt weird, she was gone. The car and all her stuff too, “You alright sweetheart?” Negan asks. “Yeah I will be, it’s just hard to come to terms with the fact she never really wanted me, you know?”, Negan gives you a look of understanding, pulling you into a tight hug. “Your always wanted here ok?” He assures you, kissing the top of your head. You take in his comfort, drink it in like a hot cocoa on a winters day. Getting lost in his scent of old spice and woodsmoke. He felt like home, warm and inviting after a long day in the cold. Feelings stir up in your stomach, ones you’ve tried to bury, you’ve always thought your stepdad was handsome, it would be ridiculous to say otherwise, but your feelings ran deeper than just finding the man attractive.

Pulling away he clears his throat “Let’s get some sleep yeah? We can figure the rest of it out tomorrow.” He suggests, “Yeah ok, tomorrow” you smile at him, causing his heart to jump in his chest, he loved it when you smiled.

Once in your room, you thought over the nights events. You’d always known your mother was selfish but you hadn’t realised she was this cruel. Negan had explained to you on your walk, that she had been cheating on him for a long time now. You could never understand how someone could have a man like Negan and cheat on him! If he was yours you’d hold onto him and never let him go, you’d treat him how he deserves, love him how he deserves. ‘God what are you thinking!’ You scold yourself, he’s your stepdad! You need to get a grip, he’d never look at you in that way, he’s taken you on as his kid, not as a potential lover.

“Argh” you groan at yourself, throwing your body onto your bed in exasperation. These feelings were complicated not to mention forbidden, and the thought of that shouldn’t excite you the way it does. You cannot think like that, it’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, he’d be disgusted. You need to let your silly little girl fantasies go, and be realistic. Pulling the comforter over you, you allow your thoughts to shift as fall into a deep sleep.

Across the hall though, Negan is laying in his empty bed thinking about you. The way your hair smelt, the way your body melded into his own. He wonders how soft your skin would feel against his, how warm your neck would be as he nuzzled into it, placing warm kisses down your throat. What noises he could pull from you, would you moan out his name as you found your high? Hips rolling frantically into his own.

Negan felt his cock stir in his pyjama pants begging for friction, ‘fuck it’ he thinks as he traces his hand down his stomach and into his pants. His large hand wrapping around his aching member, smearing the pre cum over his hand as he uses it as lube.

Biting down on his bottom lip to cover his moans, he begins frantically tugging up and down chasing his release. He should be disgusted with himself as he pleasures himself to thoughts of you, his own stepdaughter who is innocently sleeping across the hall. But he can’t allow himself to care any longer, he’s desperate, bucking his hips to meet his hand, with a low groan he reaches his climax, thick spurts covering his hand and lower stomach.

Catching his breath he pulls himself up, moving to his bathroom to clean himself. Intrusive thoughts begin as guilt starts seeping in, what was he doing? He sighs running his hands through his hair, He decides to put it down to over a year of no sex, that’s what’s causing it, it must be.

He’d tell himself that he wouldn’t pleasure himself to the thought of you again, but he knows it’s a lie. He’s started his decent into the deep end now, and there’s no turning around.

________________________________________

The next morning you awaken to the smell of pancakes and sweet sugary syrup. You get yourself ready quickly and bound down the stairs. Upon entering the kitchen you see breakfast all laid out for you, “Wow! This looks great Negan, you didn’t have to go all out”. You say, but the grin on your face was all he needed to decide he most certainly did need to. “That’s ok sweetheart I wanted too, coffee is in the jug” he points over to the coffee machine. You mutter a thanks, grabbing yourself a mug of the steaming liquid.

Breakfast goes by without a hitch, it was easy talking to Negan, but then you both always chatted over breakfast. Usually while your mother slept upstairs, tired from her late night gallivants.

“I’m going out with Lacey today, girls day to you know cheer me up.” You mention. “I think that’s a great idea sweetheart, you take as much time as you need. Just let me know if you’ll be home for dinner or not.” He offers.

“Ok will do, promise.” You respond, standing up and giving him a quick kiss to the cheek, before clearing your place and heading out. He watches you leave, his hand tracing his cheek, where he can still feel the remainder of your gentle kiss. He groans loudly to himself, he needs to clear his mind. So he decides to busy himself with house chores and DIY projects that needed doing. With your mother gone he could do as he pleases, finally finishing house projects the way he wants too.

But he speeds through them, finishing the last project he had on his list by early afternoon. Glancing over at the clock, he takes in the time. 2pm is that all? He probably still has ages until you come home, maybe some ‘alone’ time wouldn’t hurt? He has time doesn’t he? Nudging his bedroom door too, he strips down to his boxers before getting comfortable on his bed.

Closing his eyes he imagines a woman above him, as his hand slowly glides down into his boxers, he imagines her breathy moans as she rides him. Starting slow at first carefully rolling her hips, then speeding up as her hips collide into his own.

He imagines moving her hair out of her face, your face, the face he loves looking back at him as you continue to bounce on his lap. “Fuck” he moans, getting lost in the pleasure.

________________________________________

You’d had a lovely time with Lacey, you’ve been shopping, finding some cute autumn outfits and adorable fuzzy socks, you’d even found a pair for Negan. But after having a wonderful lunch out, you were ready to come home, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster this weekend and you wanted to curl up with a good book, wear your new fuzzy socks and drink a steaming mug of pumpkin spice cocoa.

Entering the house everything was incredibly quiet, there was no sign of Negan anywhere. “Hello?” You call out, seemingly to no one as it appears the house is empty. Looking out the front window you see Negan’s truck. ‘How odd’ you think, maybe he’s in the garden? So you wonder out the back, but still no sign of him.

You place your bags down onto the dining room table and kick off your shoes, padding up the stairs you hear a groan. ‘Oh yeah he said about doing some DIY projects, sounds like he’s struggling a bit’ you think. Maybe you should offer some help? Your self care plans can wait a little while.

That’s when you hear your name “Y/N fuck” he groans, he’s obviously heard you come in and needs help, shit you hope he hasn’t hurt himself. But as you quickly charge into his room you stop frozen in your tracks. There laying back on his bed is Negan, hand wrapped around his member, frantically moving it up and down all while moaning your name. He hadn’t even heard you bound into his room, seemingly still locked in his little fantasy.

“Negan?” You whimper, you’d meant to sound more firm but you really don’t know how to feel right now. Your shocked, confused, churned up and turned on all at the same time.

Just after you call out his name his eyes tear open in shock, hastily he pulls the cover over himself before rambling. “Fuck sweetheart, I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear you come in”.

You nod still absolutely frozen in place, “You said my name, I thought you needed help, you know with the DIY projects. You sounded in pain I thought you’d hurt yourself. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have just came in”. You mumble. He carefully gets up from his bed, sheet wrapped around the middle, “You have nothing to be sorry for Darlin’ this is completely my fault. I’m so sorry sweet girl, I never wanted you to find that out, especially not this way.” He groans running a shaky hand through his hair, he watches your face looking for any clue on how you felt, but you just look so confused.

He slowly takes a step towards you, as to not scare you away. When you don’t run for the door he closes the gap pulling you into his arms. He feels terrible, you must feel so betrayed, he has no clue how to make this up to you? Maybe you’d want to leave, go live with your grandparents or your aunt and uncle. You had a decent relationship with the rest of your family, it was just your mother who was the issue.

He was stuck in this inner turmoil, not knowing what to do for the best. Maybe he shouldn’t even be cuddling you right now, but he needed the comfort too. You on the other hand were still so confused, did this mean he loved you like you loved him? Did he feel the same way or was this a one time fantasy? You needed to know either way.

Pulling back you ask “Why were you saying my name?” You frown, “I think you know why sweetheart, I don’t think there’s any hiding it now” he sighs. “What I mean is, umm is this a one time fantasy Negan or do you have feelings for me?” You ask.

“Does it really matter Darlin?” He asks, because he’s betrayed you either way, no matter what now you will be uncomfortable being here.

“Yes!” You all but shout, “It does matter Negan, it matters to me, so please tell me which it is.” You demand, trying your best to keep your voice unwavering.

Negan lets out a long sigh, nodding as he sits back on the end of his bed. He runs his large hand down his face before answering, “I love you, I am in love with you sweetheart and I know this means you’ll need to leave now and I’m so sorry because I said you can stay here, and you can! But I doubt you want to after all this.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, before smiling down at him. Leaving him just as confused as you were five minutes ago, “Why are you smiling Darlin, this isn’t right I’ve betrayed you in every way I” he was cut off by your lips crashing into his, as you slot your body between his legs. It takes him a second to catch up, but then he melts into you pulling you closer and onto his lap, hooking your legs around his back.

Pulling back to catch your breath you give him what he’s needed for so long, “I love you too Negan, I always have. I was so jealous that mom met you first, because she had the only thing I ever wanted. You.”

This time it was him that pulls you in to a bruising kiss, his arms locking tightly around you as he prepares to never let you go. “God what did I ever do to deserve you?” He mumbles in between kisses. “I don’t know, but what I do know is that you need to show me just how much you love me” you tease, grinding your hips down into his, causing him to hiss at the contact, “That sweetheart I can do”.

You feel your back hit the bed as he flips you over, bringing his hands up your ribs, carefully pulling your shirt up and over your head. While you impatiently kick your jeans off somewhere at the bottom of the bed, the action making him smirk, “Impatient darlin’?” He teases, “Yes” you moan, becoming more and more breathless by the second.

He could tease you all day, make you wait until you’re crying for him desperately. But he can’t, not today, you’ve both waited so long for this and he plans on worshiping you like you deserve. “Ok baby, don’t worry I’ve got ya” he says as he moves down your body, kissing down your stomach until he reaches your pubic bone. Placing a soft kiss there he wastes no time pulling your panties all the way off, and diving into your sweet pussy. You gasp at the sensation before letting out a long moan, the feeling of him suckling on your clit causing your legs to shake, “Negan oh fuck, you feel so good, more please give me more” you beg.

He answers your prayers by adding two long, thick fingers. Pushing them into your tight hole. “Shit!” You moan, your climax approaching quickly, never had you come so close to release so fast in your life! “Please don’t stop Negan, I’m so close” you whine, “Don’t worry baby, I’ve got you, let go for me darlin’” he encourages, and you do, with a cry you reach your pinnacle, releasing all over his mouth and fingers, while he devourers it all up like a man starved.

You’re still so lost in your high you don’t notice him pull off his boxers and moving in between your legs. As your vision clears you feel him nuzzling into your neck, placing gentle kisses against your sweet spot while sliding his cock between your lower lips. “Are you sure you want this sweetheart?” He asks nervously, he’d stop right now if you asked him too, even though every fibre of his being so desperately needed to be buried inside of you.

You nod frantically, “Not enough baby girl, I need words” he nudges. “Yes fuck, I need you now, need you inside me so much” you beg. That’s all he needs to push forward burying himself inside you, all while letting out a low groan, “Fuck your so tight baby, and so wet. This all for me?” He asks, trying his hardest not to blow his load straight away. But you just feel so good! He’s overwhelmed, you’re really here, in his arms, begging him to make love to you.

He’s so lost in it all he jumps slightly when you roll your hips up into his, searching desperately for the friction you need. “Please, fuck please daddy make love to me” you beg. He whips his head up to look at you, and for a moment you worry you’ve taken things too far, the name unconsciously slipped through your lips, before you could even think.

But the smirk on his face says otherwise, who knew his perfect little girl could be so dirty. “Daddy huh?” He punctuates with a firm thrust, making you throw your head back in pleasure. “My naughty girl, does that get you off huh? Calling me daddy? Knowing it’s your step dad making you feel this good?” He teasingly scolds, as he starts a brutal pace, “Fuuuucckk!” You moan, leaking all over him, “Yeah you definitely get off on that don’t you? Dirty girl. Look at that, such a mess you’re making on daddy” he tuts, “Please daddy, please don’t stop” you moan, lifting your hips to meet his thrusts. “Don’t worry baby I have no plans on stopping, you’re mine now and I ain’t ever letting you go.” He groans, rapidly ramming himself into you, at the same time he cups your cheek, pulling you into a loving kiss. A stark contrast to his brutal thrusts, but he still wanted you to know how much he loves you.

“Daddy I’m gonna cum!” You scream, “Go on baby girl, cum on daddy’s cock” he demands, hitting that perfect spot again and again hurtling you into your second orgasm, feeling your tight pussy clamping down on him triggers his own high, causing him to release hot spurts inside you as he growls into your neck. After you both catch your breaths he pulls himself up to look you in the eyes, “I love you so much sweetheart” he smiles. “I love you too” you grin, “So this is it now? You and me together?” You ask.

“Yeah sweetheart, this is it now. I told you, I’m never letting you go.” He affirms.

________________________________________

6 Months Later……………

Sat at the breakfast table, drinking a warm mug of coffee, your left hand laced in Negan’s you smile.

Things have been wonderful, you’d both fallen into your relationship so easily. And with summer coming to a close, you were soon finishing your final year of college. “You know sweetheart you only have a few weeks of college left, and I was thinking that maybe it is time to start a new?” He proposed. “What do you mean?” You ask, feeling a little uncertain all of a sudden, reading your face he pulls you closer, “Don’t worry darlin’ it’s a good thing, I was thinking that maybe we sell this house, move away and buy another somewhere new? Somewhere that’s only ever been ours? No bad memories attached, we can choose somewhere together?” He asks.

You light up “Really?” You gasp, excitement flooding in you. Buying a house together sounds like a dream. “Yeah, well the divorce has been final for a while now, and I feel like we’d both benefit from a new start, my jobs remote anyways and you will be starting new, so why not? Maybe somewhere by the sea? New England?” He offers.

“That sounds wonderful Negan, I’d love to live by the sea, I’ve only ever been once. It would be magical to be right by it everyday. And choosing somewhere new that’s just ours sounds perfect” you grin. “Great, it’s settled then, we will go down to the realtors this afternoon, get the ball rolling.” He suggests. You sit yourself onto his lap, running your fingers through his hair, “How did I get so lucky?” You smile, “Nah I’m the lucky one sweetheart”, you grin placing your lips against his, as he pulls you closer wrapping his arms around you. You both deepen the kiss, tongues dancing together loosing yourselves in each other.

Just as things start heating up, as hands begin to wonder and you start rolling your hips against his, the sound of something heavy hitting the floor startles you both.

“What the fuck!” A familiar voice chimes through the kitchen. “Shit” Negan mumbles into your shoulder before looking up, his eyes meeting those of your mothers.

“What the hell is this!!” She barks, you quickly get off Negan’s lap and turn to your mom, “Well mother I guess it’s exactly what it looks like.” You sigh. There was no use trying to hide it now. “I think I need more of an explanation than that! Negan?” She shrieks, “We are together, Y/N and I, and as you left quite some time ago I really don’t think it’s any of your damn business, you clearly know your way in, so can you please reverse the process and make your way back out of our home!” Negan orders, his tone cold and final.

“How long has this been going on? Were you two doing this behind my back!” She shouts, causing you to flinch, Negan won’t allow you to be hurt by this woman again, so instinctively he pulls you behind him all while taking a defensive step towards your mother. “How dare you! After you know full well what you were doing behind my back! You didn’t hide it very well trust me!” He spat. “Well I umm, that has nothing to do with this! That’s my daughter! Your step daughter! How could you!” She cries.

“Firstly you lost the right to call her your daughter the second you left, second we haven’t been married a long while now so she is no longer my ‘step daughter’ and to answer your question, no this didn't happen until after you left, now will you please leave!” He growls.

Your mom turns to you, “I always knew you were a little slut, but to steal my husband, even I didn’t think you’d lower yourself that far!” She sneered. “Hey! How dare you…” Negan starts, but you place your hand on his arm, giving him a look that says ‘No I’ve got this’.

“I didn’t ‘steal’ your husband mom, you left, and you asked him for a divorce, which I may add you made him sign then and there. You then walked out of our lives, leaving me here with Negan without looking back. Now what? It wasn’t greener on the other side? You thought you’d come back here and pick up where you left off? Life doesn’t work like that mom.

I’ve nearly finished college and soon we will be moving, and we won’t see you again, you can go on and live your life exactly how you wanted, alone. You wrote your terms in the divorce papers, to which he agreed too and signed, so you are entitled to nothing here. So to echo what Negan said, please leave. I hope to never see you again.” You declare, opening the front door and motioning her to leave.

Negan watches with a proud smirk on his face, one your mother certainly notices. “This isn’t over! You won’t be walking happily off into the sunset I promise you! I will tell your grandparents, they will all know what a little slut you are! You’ll have no one left!” She shrieks.

“You can tell them whatever you want, but I can assure you they won’t be shocked. I’ve invited Grandma and Grandfather to my graduation. So I had to tell them about me and Negan. They weren’t too happy to start with, but once Negan spoke to them on the phone, told them what you’d done and how much he loved me. How he wants to make me happy and love me how I deserve, they came around, in fact we are both invited over for thanksgiving with the family. So you can take your threats and shove them where the sun don’t shine mother, goodbye.” You say calmly, once again motioning for her to leave.

She screams in frustration before stomping out and slamming the door. You know you haven’t heard the end of this, and in all honesty you hope you can move quicker than she can plot.

________________________________________

Graduation passed with a blur, your grandparents did in fact come and they made mends with you and Negan. All be it along side threatening him, that if he ever hurt you your grandma would castrate him. But even she could tell how much you loved one another, Lacey took a bit more convincing, she couldn’t understand to start with, but you reminded her you met him when you were over 18. That nothing happened until you were even older than that, you told her how happy he’s made you, and that you hope she will come visit you in your new home.

Eventually she came around, and has since visited you in your new home. Which was the best surprise, as you couldn’t imagine loosing your best friend.

Your new home….. it was beautiful, a little two bedroom cottage right by the sea in a sleepy little seaside town in Rhodes island. It was perfect, Negan let you decorate it however you wanted, in his words “I couldn’t care less, paint it all pink if you like, if you’re happy I’m happy”.

You’d gone up and spent thanksgiving with your family as planned, they were all very welcoming to Negan, as they hadn’t met him with your mother, it was easy to only see him as your partner. It was lovely to see everyone again, the family who loves you, but whom your mother had kept you away from. Your mother thankfully didn’t have your new address and it felt like things were finally good, really good in fact, and as you snuggle up with Negan on your first Christmas in your new home.

Fuzzy socks sat on both your feet, and the heat from the fire warming your skin, a deep contrast from the snow that’s softly falling outside your window. You look down and smile gleefully at the glistening ring on your left hand, and in that moment you knew that everything was worth it.

[crisis-starter]

Mirabelle’s thing took more effort than I thought!

Mostly because I… can’t really take anymore of the innate desire to scrap what I just wrote because the grammatical and punctuational errors in the Change God’s dialogue, though purposeful, are driving me up the wall.

For now, have a Mirabelle Loops thing…

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

Mirabelle was… perplexed to be brought back to the room where her Change God statue was, even though they already had obtained the Keyknife (or Knifekey, as Siffrin called it after it was sharpened). The group had looked the room up and down and had nothing else left to investigate. So why were they here again? Siffrin seemed to look at the statue in thought.

Mirabelle glanced at Bonnie, who seemed to try and gauge the correct timing for something. Mirabelle was about to ask before Siffrin called, “Mira, can you put your hand on the statue?” The housemaiden turned to look at Siffrin before complying hesitantly, “Hm? Um, sure?” It was a fairly simple thing. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

It wasn’t painful, but hearing a whistle and then waking up in a white void is not something you expect to experience on a normal day. Or, rather, as normal as the day before the end of the world can get. But hey! At least Mirabelle isn’t alone! Siffrin is with her!

She was about to ask Siffrin to hear their opinion before the rogue entered a fighting stance and informed, “Someone’s there, Mira!” Mirabelle’s head snapped to the figure approaching them, startled. She needed to help Siffrin! But wait… isn’t that… “The… the Head Housemaiden?”

Euphrasie looked almost… offended? Then a buzzer sounded for some odd reason. It slightly distracted her before she noticed the Euphrasie was replaced by Bonnie! The shape shifting figure feigned despair, “mirabelle!!! how could you not recognize little old me!?!?! (·•᷄∩•᷅ )” How on earth did the figure do that with their mouth? Things aside, “They changed shapes!” It was… nice to know Siffrin was just as unnerved as she was.

The figure shifted to look like Siffrin for a sec, startling the rogue next to Mirabelle a bit. They put their hands on their hips before giggling, “well yeah!! don’t you know who I am?? (*´▽`*)” Mirabelle took a second to think before expressing her own little version of shock, “The Change God?!” The figure shifted into Bonnie before twirling and exclaiming with a big smile, “ding ding ding!!! hiya! it’s me, the change god!!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧”

Mirabelle paused to interpret what she was seeing. The guilt of being a bad housemaiden started to hit her like a truck. And if Siffrin’s concern and the Change God’s shock were anything to indicate, Mirabelle was bawling. In a state of surprise, the Change God shifted to look like Mirabelle for a second before turning into Isabeau, trying to comfort her, “mirabelle!!! what happened?? im sorry if i upset you!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )”

Mirabelle wiped her tears, hiccups lacing her words, “No no… it’s th-that… I’m sorry for being a bad housemaiden. For stagnating, for not trying new things… For not… Changing…” She feels safer, just being cutesy Mirabelle. Even the title of Savior stresses her out to no end! So undergoing Change itself? That would feel tantamount to scaling a mountain with nothing to break your fall.

The Change God looked blankly at Mirabelle before saying, “oh that!!! dont worry about it ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭ I dont care” Now it was Mirabelle’s turn to be confused, “Huh?” The figure shifted to look like Odile before explaining, “if i was mad about it then i wouldn’t have helped you as much as i did right? but well wouldja look at that! you got the keyknife!!! i did it because I believe in you!! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-“ Siffrin looked less tense, but still bit alarmed. The Change God continued, shifting to look like a star… person for a split second, “also… THIS PLAY NEEDS MORE VARIETY. BUT DO NOT WORRY. YOU WILL FIND AID. YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN WHEN TO CATCH IT.”

Mirabelle stopped crying. She was startled by the final thing the Change God told her. A play? Nonetheless, she felt at least a bit reassured. The Change God shifted to look like Isabeau before starting to talk, “i will tell you something very important, so listen close. ( •̀ - •́ )” The change god reverted to Isabeau’s image, “for a ton of reasons, you won’t remember it!” They cocked their head sightly to the side, “well, your mind won’t but your heart will!!! ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚” They sighed, “it’s true that i don’t help humans much, but my measly god powers are nothing compared to yours!!! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻) you’re doing incredible mirabelle, even if you don’t believe it at first (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) but, just in case that isn’t enough…”

The Change God abandoned the appearances and revealed Mirabelle’s statue, but animated. They softened their voice to something gentle, a far cry from the dramatic display they gave prior, “you are loved, mirabelle. i see you changing, even if you do not. you are always changing, always evolving. you are not stagnating in any way. and even if you were, that would be fine, because life is about changes but it’s also about staying right where you are sometimes. I am proud of you,” they immediately switched back to their expressive self, “and i love you!!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂)⸝♡ and i love the stupid ugly face you gave me and i wont ever let anyone destroy it!!! o( ˶^▾^˶ )o remember that okay!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)”

Mirabelle smirked before giggling, “Thank you, Change God. You are nothing like I was expecting, but…” The housemaiden gave a big smile, “I would expect nothing less from you!” She thought she spotted something from the corner of her eye. Was Siffrin still… suspicious? But the Change God has been so…

Then the god snapped her out of her thought process, looking like Bonnie this time, “before you go, i have a gift for you! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ꕤ*.ﾟ” the whistle of wind sounded in her ears. Mirabelle looked at the Change God confused, “What wa-“ The Change God giggled before saying, “bye bye now!!! i’ll talk to siffrin and then it’s back to the mission at hand!!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ”

Mirabelle panicked, calling out, “WAIT! WHAT…” her voice faltered when she found herself in the prayer room again, “…was that?” Siffrin woke up from a trance seconds after, slightly pensive about… something. Mirabelle felt weird. Something like… being able to learn more? No, not that exactly. More like… agh it barely makes sense in her head.

Isabeau questioned if she and Siffrin were alright. He commented that it looked like you both looked almost… half conscious. Hm. Mirabelle caught Odile’s suggestion that the team should proceed if everyone was okay. Mirabelle agreed with her assessment. The housemaiden and her rag tag group of friends should get going.

They have a king to defeat and a country to save after all.

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

MIRABELLE IS DONE

Okay, so here’s what I’m going to do about the filler posts. I’ve decided that I’ll put the filler posts through a queue.

I‘ve also decided to maybe try all of the options. Because most of them are very new to me.

I don’t doodle or draw as much as you’d be led to believe (and even then they are quite abstract I guess?), and I’ve never touched digital art. I’ve never run an ask blog before. I’ve given WIP commentary to friends on Discord but not on Tumblr. So… I am just the slightest bit nervous that I might do something wrong…..

But anyway, here is my challenge on Odile’s chapter:

Putting this entire scene into words from Odile’s perspective.

To my darling audience:

Good Morning

Good Day

Good Afternoon

Good Evening

Good Night

[gloveslut]

oda died. chuuya has no idea.

babe, i'm back. ... hey, what's going on?

i'm leaving.

you're what? 'samu, did something happen?

stop fucking using that tone. or my name.

what the fuck? can you explain?

explain what?

everything?!

you knew it was only a matter of time. i don't know why you act surprised.

you don't wanna talk about it?

no.

...where to?

none of your business.

but osa- listen, you swore you wouldn't- ever-

i didn't swear shit to mafia.

...fuck no. that's not how you talk to me, you fucking piece of shit.

get off of me.

you're leaving me too! you swore shit to me!

you're nothing more than one of my mistakes.

i know you're lying, fuck, what's gotten into you?

i'm not lying, i can't bear even looking at you now.

but why? dazai, it's unfair to-

oh, and you're always fair to me? i know you're seeing someone else.

...who? tell me who told you that and i'll rip them apart, because it's fucking bullshit.

you're bullshit. all of you. it's your nature. quit playing the victim.

this is ridiculous-

and what are you gonna do about it? beg for me to stay? again? aren't you tired?

you know what? i am. because saying shit like that out of blue is too low, even for you.

i need to pack my things, get out of my-

who's blood is that? the hell is-

mine! it's mine cause i felt uneasy! stop sniffing around, you're not helping!

this doesn't look like- like- you know, there's too much of it, dazai, i don't understand-

you don't need to understand, chuuya, please, stop trying to get closer. you're not special. i'm not gonna take you with me so we can run off into the sunset.

but you can't do it completely on your own, god, are you even here with me?

i'm the one thinking critically right now. i can get killed otherwise, and i'm not gonna be alone.

...you can't just throw it at me like that. can i at least know when it started?

when what started?

well, your falling out? i guess i should've seen it coming with the way you hated introducing me to literally anyone.

i'm not here to fight about it with you.

but you accused me of cheating first thing i came in, idiot!-

i'm not- i was talking about him.

who? ...odasaku? ... fuck, i'm sorry for assuming- whatever, you do realise he's not gonna be here for you forever?

...chuuya, please.

i'm not trying to scare you off and obviously i'm not any better but-

please stop. some... people were here, but they left, and it's not so bad. it's gonna be fine and we're gonna find the best place to hide, i don't care what you think of it, we're gonna be- fine-

honey... i didn't mean to make it worse, it's o-

no it's not! you know nothing about me or my friends, i'm begging you- just- fuck off-

i know it's hard and-

don't touch me! ... god, just go away.

...so you mean it.

yes. i fucking do. now leave. you can get suicidal and stick around this burnt house as long as you want later.

...fuck you. i can't stand you anymore.

oh yeah? news to me.

yeah, cause i fucking loved you! i put everything i had eating me from inside away and stayed with you up untill this point. i made my whole life evolve around you. jesus, i even grew my hair for you!

uh-huh.

and guess what! i never fucking liked it this way. i barely got anything out of whatever we had going on. you didn't even wanna give it a name. cause i'd eat it up. and i did.

right.

fuck, dazai, can't you have a heart for a minute?

yeah no, not around someone who thinks of me as crazy, but thanks.

i don't- what the fuck are you talking about?

all the... nice treatment you gave me was always based purely on the fact that i'm fucking broken and that you should fix me. not only it's incredibly fucked up, you also just can't. you always play god here and there but you don't carry the power of one, not even close.

now, i didn't even-

chuuya, please. i'm asking kindly. i can easily get it over with, but i don't think it'd be either rational or pleasant for you.

...just like this?

yeah. just like this. if you can't accept that you're not needed, then you earn all the hostility. i'm done with all this shit. let us both finally have peace. ... that look doesn't exactly evoke peaceful feelings in me.

i... i have so much to say, to- to ask before- and there's not enough time- huh, it seems like it's never the time. i don't know if i should waste my chance, though.

i mean, if you realise how useless all of our conversations ever were...

...

woah. okay. ... one last question.

if you promise to never talk to me again, go on.

...did you- it's hard not to- ...well, i know someone died. i just have to know, are you the cause?

yes and no. unfortunately, i didn't get to kill anyone this time. but i'm also at fault. great one. i'm at hurry. so may i be excused? ... you better not show up in my life later on. not necessarily because you're so distractive, it's just the way it- it has to be. have fun around here, but be cautious. you never know where your line's gonna end. or when you're gonna lose someone. i guess it would be even more heartbreaking to you, 'normal people'.

wait, are you saying-

i thought you stopped bothering me. ...nevermind. do whatever you want.

i can't believe you're doing this to me.

please, move.

dazai- baby, i was only trying to-

now, you shut it and let me go or i'll slit your throat with this shiny thing. ... cool. oh, and... your letters or anything like that will never reach me. we have nothing to discuss. nothing that is worth the effort. i also think you said everything you wanted to. ...thank you- for, uh, not whining too much. see you in hell.

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 8)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: (I apologize for the bad gifs, I'm reposting but I can't find the ones I used before 😭) Y/n gets the help she needs before her and Rafe start a new life together.

Warnings: Drugs, psychosis, mental health, self harm, and surprises, ya'll know me by now.

Word Count: 5.7k+

You moved your food around your plate as you listened to Topper, Rafe and Kelce discuss baseball. You couldn't be bothered to eat.

Rafe knew you were craving drugs. He knew you too well. You couldn't hide it from him. So, of course, he became annoyingly overprotective. He didn't leave you on your own for long.

You didn't want to be at the club right now. You hadn't showered in four days. You were still in the same old t-shirt you borrowed from Courtney. Your hair sat in a messy bun on your head and you had no make up on. Thank God you had at least drowned yourself in your Juicy perfume.

Rafe dragged you to the club, forcing you to eat and socialize. But you didn't even try. You sat there, obviously unhappy, just bringing everyone else down.

Rafe ran his fingers over your leg and smiled at you. You attempted to smile back but it was just pitiful. Topper and Kelce were staring at you with worried looks.

"Baby-"

"I'm gonna go smoke." You said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Do you want me to-"

"No!"

You walked across the street from the club and sat in the grass. Lighting up an American Spirit, you laid back and watched the clouds move above you.

_

"What's going on with her, dude?" Topper asked Rafe.

Rafe was on the verge of tears but he held them back. "I-I don't know. I mean, a lot is going on but she won't talk to me. She just sits in silence and barely eats..."

"Maybe Courtney could get through to her?" Kelce asked.

Rafe shakes his head. "She tried. Court says she's gone through this before. Told me not to leave her alone for too long." He said as he looked out the window. He noticed you weren't where you had been moments ago. He stood up quickly and walked outside. "Y/N!" He yelled as he looked around for you. You were gone.

Rafe ran back inside, panicking. "She's gone!" He told Topper and Kelce.

"What?" Topper asked as he stood up, throwing some money on the table.

Rafe ran his shaking hands through his hair as his eyes began to swell with tears once again. "We gotta find her, man!"

The boys ran outside and piled into Rafe's truck.

-

You heard the sound of a bike approaching you but you didn't turn to look. You just kept walking lazily down the side of the road, dragging your cigarette every now and then.

"Hey, Princess!" You hear Barry say as he pulls up next to you. You sigh and turn to look at him. "Where's Prince Charming, huh? Lettin' you walk all alone out here. Never know who might swoop you up!" He laughs.

You just stare at him, too tired to say anything back. You can feel the bags under your eyes. Your face felt heavy and your body was weak from malnourishment.

"Shit..." He says as he examines you. "You look like you need a fix, am I right, Princess?"

You nod.

"Hop on," He says. He doesn't even offer you his helmet but you don't care. You climb on the back of his bike and wrap your arms around his waist. He drives off towards his house.

You know Barry was a bad guy. He'd probably want to take you back to his place, get you high, try to get in your pants. But you just didn't care anymore. The voices in your head were eating you alive.

Worthless. They don't really love you. Burden.

The words play over and over again in your head as you watch the trees pass by.

"Here we are," Barry says, helping you off the bike. "Come on, I'll fix you up."

You follow Barry inside. You scanned his house, noticing the few people that laid lazily on his couch, obviously doped out of their minds.

"You ever freebased?" Barry asks as he sits down at the kitchen table, sprinkling coke over a piece of foil.

"Yeah." Your voice was weak. You sat down across from him as you watched him prepare the foily.

He slides it over to you with a tooter and a lighter. You bring the tooter to your lips and light the bottom of the foil. You inhale the smoke slowly, feeling an instant buzz.

Barry smiles as he watches you. "Damn, you go harder than Country Club!" He laughs. "I ain't ever seen no Kook Queens up in the trap house smoking foilies!"

"I'm from LA," You tell him, feeling a little more talkative now that your buzz was hitting.

You hand him the paraphernalia. "That's all you, Princess. Go crazy." He said, waving you off.

You chuckle, bringing the tooter back to your lips to smoke more. After a bit, you were on Cloud 9.

People began drifting in and out of Barry's house. He'd sell them drugs, talk to some girls, then come back and sit with you, continuing to fix you up with the makeshift crack.

"You wanna shot, Princess?" Barry asks as he taps your arm with a bottle of whiskey.

You take it from him and quickly chug as much as you can before you get back to making your foily. You were really feeling it now. You hadn't been this high in a long time.

"Ayo, Y/N!" Barry says, snapping his fingers in your face.

You snap up to look at him. "What?"

"Chill, girl! Have another shot, you need to relax."

You eyed him for a moment as your nose twitched, but you took the bottle and chugged more.

"You really love that kid?" Barry asked you.

"What do you mean?"

"Rafe," He said. "You was bout ready to kill me for his ass!" Barry chuckled.

Rafe. Rafe. The love of your life. The only person that made you feel at home. You had left him at the club. You looked around now, realizing it was dark out and Barry's house was full of people getting high as fuck. Music was blasting way louder than you realized and you could feel your anxiety start to rise.

You snap out of your trance and look back to Barry. "Yeah. I do." You said confidently.

Barry smiles. "You know, for a Kook, you're not half bad. Country Club's a lucky man."

You look up at him with your devil eyes. The one's that came out after you'd drown yourself in substances. The eyes that showed who you truly were under your make up and jewelry. The psychopath.

Barry eyed you for a moment, looking almost scared. You offer him a small smile, hoping to convey that you were fine but knowing deep down you probably looked crazy.

Barry offered you a bill to snort one of the lines he just poured out. You accepted and leaned over the table, railing the white powder quickly.

"Well aren't you a sight," You hear a raspy voice say from behind you.

You turn around to see an older man, probably your dad's age. But he looked even older. Years of alcohol and drugs taking a toll on him.

You scrunch your nose up at him as he steps towards you and places a hand on your hip.

"Back up, Luke." Barry said, pushing him away from you.

"Ah, keepin' her all to yourself?"

"That's Cameron's girl." Barry states, keeping you behind him.

"Well I don't see that little shit around!" Luke laughs an intoxicated laugh.

You could feel anxiety rise in your chest. You didn't want to be here anymore. You wanted Rafe. You wanted to go home. You didn't want to be this fucking high anymore.

Barry turned around as he noticed you hyperventilating. "Ah, fuck." He said. He grabbed the whiskey off the table and put his arm around you. He pushed Luke out of the way as he lead you back to his bedroom.

You felt yourself pulled back as Luke grabbed your hand. "Get off me!" You yelp.

Barry turns around and punches Luke in the temple causing him to instantly fall to the ground. "Don't fucking touch her!" He turns and ushers you back to his bedroom.

You were a weeping mess now. Crying and hyperventilating. Barry closed the door behind him and you coward away from him, nervous he was going to do something.

He holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, Y/N, I'm not gonna hurt you okay?" He says. "Sit."

You sit down on the edge of his bed and pull your knees to your chest.

"Hear, drink this. It will calm you down."

You take the whiskey from his hand and chug. Too much crack. You were scared and paranoid. You didn't have your phone or anything. You were stuck in the middle of this party out in the Cut high off your ass and you hadn't talked to Rafe in hours.

"R-Rafe." You stutter.

"Hey, just relax, okay? I'mma call him right now."

You nod your head quickly, taking another swig from the bottle.

Barry paces his small room as he dials Rafe's number. Your eyes flicker back and forth as the voices in your head come back. You put your hands over your ears and shake your head, trying to get them to stop.

You're too high. You're going to die.

"Ayo, Rafe! You need to come get your girl, man!" Barry's voice echos in the background.

The voices became too much and you start screaming.

"Shit, shit! Yo, she's freaking out! Come get her!"

You were practically ripping your hair out.

"Y/N! Stop!" Barry yelled, grabbing your hands and keeping them by your sides.

You continued to thrash around on the bed, shaking your head back and forth violently. You let out another scream.

"Rafe's coming! He's on his way!" Barry yells at you.

You ease up slightly at the sound of Rafe's name but you were still terrified and you didn't know why.

"Listen to me, it's just the drugs okay? You smoked too much. You're okay. I promise." Barry said, trying to calm you down. "Look at me!"

You try to focus your eyes but you couldn't help but shake.

"You're good," Barry reassured you.

You nodded nervously. Barry let go of you and you remained somewhat still on the bed.

Fifteen minutes later, there was knocking on the door.

"Barry!" Rafe banged on the door. Barry opened it and Rafe, Courtney, Kelce, and Topper piled into the room.

"Y/N!" Rafe screamed as he ran to your shaking body on the bed.

"Take me home!" You cry as you throw your body around him. "I don't want to be here."

Rafe held you tighter than he ever had before.

"What the hell did you give her?!" Courtney yelled at Barry.

"Look, I'm sorry-" Courtney slapped him, cutting him off from his sentence.

Barry nodded, knowing he deserved it. "She freebased a bunch of coke, man. Just get her home."

Rafe wanted to strangle him, but you were more important. He had one arm around your waist and one cradling your head as he pushed past Barry and out to the living room.

"The Kooks are here!" People start saying as Rafe carried you through the sea of junkies that invaded the trailer.

"Fuck off!" You could hear Courtney, Topper, and Kelce telling people to back off. These weren't even Pogues. They were lower. This house was disgusting and you just wanted to leave.

You knew Rafe was probably furious with you. But he still came for you. You clung to him so tightly as you shook in his arms.

"I got you, baby." He said. His voice was so soft and it calmed you down. "Top, drive." Rafe said, throwing him the keys to the truck.

Rafe pulled you into the back seat with him, Courtney climbing in after.

Rafe placed you in his lap, he forced you to look at him. "Baby girl, you're safe, okay?"

All you could do was sob. Fear taking over your body. "The end," You spit out between sobs.

Rafe holds your face between his hands. "The end? What end, sweetheart?"

He'd never seen you cry so much. Your entire face was bright red and moist from tears. Everyone else in the car was silent as Topper drove.

"My end!" You sob loudly.

*insert my favorite gif i can't find*

Rafe is just staring at you with a puzzled look on his face, tears spilling from his eyes. "Baby, what are you talking about?!"

You quickly grabbed the door handle, swinging it open as you tried to jump out.

"Y/N!" Courtney yelled.

Rafe had his hands around your waist and Courtney grabbed your wrist pulling you back in.

Topper swerved at the sudden commotion but quickly regained control. "Dude, what the fuck!?" He yelled from the driver's seat.

You started screaming again and tugging at your hair again.

"What is wrong with her?!" Kelce yelled.

"Psychosis!" Courtney replied, pinning your hands down. She got on top of you, straddling your lap. "Rafe, hold her still!"

Rafe did as he was told, bawling his eyes out. He'd never seen anything like this in his life.

Courtney decked you as hard as she could in the side of the head and you went unconscious.

"What the fuck!" The boys yelled.

Courtney sat back, letting you rest in Rafe's lap. "Drive," She says.

The car ride was silent besides Rafe's sobs as he cradled your head.

When Topper pulled up to your house, Rafe carried you inside, immediately going to your room and tucking you into bed.

He sat and stared at you, his tears never letting up.

You stirred slightly but leaned deeper into your pillow.

"I need to talk to you," Courtney said from the door.

Rafe looked up to meet her gaze. He nodded. He looked back at you, placing a kiss on your forehead before joining Courtney in the hallway.

Courtney pulled Rafe down stairs to where Topper and Kelce were.

"What the hell is going on?" Kelce asks.

Courtney sighs. "Psychosis. She has episodes when she's really depressed."

———-

You tumbled out of bed and grabbed the knife from you bedside table. You crawled toward your bathroom and locked the door.

Rafe was surely mad at you for going to Barry's and getting fucked up. All your friends were probably about done with you. Your dad was gone. Fuck it right?

You took a small post it note from your counter and wrote out a few simple words. I love you, Rafe.

You stuck it to the counter and sat down.

They are better off without you. Kill yourself. Bleed.

The voices made you cry. You didn't want to leave Rafe but what if they were right? Maybe he was better off without you.

You put the knife to your wrist, tears falling down your cheeks. You force yourself to smile and slice the knife quickly across you skin, far too deep.

———-

"I'm gonna go check on her." Courtney said.

She had explained to the boys what exactly was happening to you. You were spiraling into a deep depression. But not like most people experience. Hallucinations, anxiety, the comatose states. It was taking over your body. You were in a very fragile state and the drugs didn't help.

"RAFE!" Courtney screamed.

Rafe got up immediately and ran upstairs, Topper and Kelce not far behind him.

"She locked herself in the bathroom!" Courtney cried.

Rafe didn't waste any time as he threw his shoulder into the door.

"Y/N!" He screamed, finally kicking the door in. He saw you motionless body on the floor, blood draining from your wrist.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO!" Rafe repeated as he ran to your side. "Call 911!" He screamed as he ripped his shirt off and wrapped it around your wrist.

Courtney was frozen, tears falling from her eyes as she watched you bleed out. She couldn't help but remember the time you'd tried to do the exact same thing in her bathroom at nine years old.

Kelce caught Courtney as she collapsed. Sobbing over the fact she could never make you happy enough to stay on this earth.

Topper was level headed. He called 911. He explained everything that happened.

Rafe was hysterical when the paramedics arrived. They had to pull him away from you.

He climbed into the ambulance with you. There was no way he wouldn't be with you this time.

"Stay with me, baby, please, please, stay with me. I love you so so much." Rafe said as he held your hand.

"You her boyfriend?" The paramedic asked.

Rafe nodded, keeping his eyes on you. "Why couldn't I help her?"

Rafe's eyes scanned your body. You were pale and thin. Your hair was matted and you had circles under your eyes. He couldn't help but blame himself for not taking care of you.

"It's not your fault, kid." The paramedic said.

Rafe pressed his lips to your frail hand, praying for the first time in his life. He asked whatever God was listening to help him build a life you would want to be a part of. He just wanted to know what to do. What he could do to make you happy.

Rafe sat and watched as they once again hooked you up to machines. His angel, his baby girl, his goddess. He would never understand why she wanted to destroy herself.

As frail as you were, you were still vibrant in his eyes. And maybe that's why he hated himself. He thought you were were perfect every time he laid eyes on you. He couldn't see your bones pertruding or your hair falling out of the loss of your voice. Any state you were in, he was completely in love with you.

————–

You opened your eyes, taking in the blinding white walls of the room around you. The fluorescent lighting burned your retina's as you reached up to shield yourself from them. That's when you noticed the pain in your left wrist.

"Ow, fuck!" You examined the white bandage that was wrapped around your forearm. A deep red leaking through the cloth. You furrowed your eyebrows at the sight. You don't remember what happened or how you got here but judging by the placements of your wound, you knew you had done it to yourself.

"Shiiiit," You mutter as you sit up and scan the room. There was a doorless bathroom in the corner, a small desk in the other. You were on a small twin sized mattress that lay atop a metal bed frame. The small window was covered in bars, letting in little sunlight. This wasn't the first time you'd been in a room like this.

"No, no, no, no..." You said as you got off the bed and rushed to the large metal door. You looked out the small window for any sign of someone. "Hey!" You start yelling, banging your fists against the door, completely ignoring the searing pain in your wrist. "Hey, let me the fuck out of here!" You continue banging and kicking the door until someone finally opens it.

You step back as you watch two people enter. One woman in a lab coat, dark hair pulled back, glasses, clutching a clip board. The other, a man, in blue scrubs.

"How are you feeling, Miss Y/L/N?" The lady asks.

"Why am I here?" You ask, staring angrily at her. "Where's Rafe?"

She takes a step forward and you take a step back. "You are here, Miss Y/L/N, because you experienced a deep state of psychosis and tried to take your own life."

Psychosis. You hadn't had an episode since you were a kid. It only ever happened when you got severely depressed.

"You also had a large amount of cocaine and alcohol in your system. You became a danger to yourself and others. After you were treated at the hospital," She motions to your wrist and you bring it behind your back, hiding it. "You were brought here for treatment.

You scoff. "I don't need treatment. I just had an episode. I need to go home. I need to see Rafe!"

"You have been placed on a mandatory 72 hour hold."

"How long have I been here?"

"Six hours."

"Fuck that! Let me out, I'm not fucking staying here!"

The larger nurse steps towards you.

"If you literally step any closer I will fight you!" You spit at him.

"Y/N, we need you to try to calm down. This stress isn't good for you or your child."

"What the fuck are you talking about?! I don't have-" You stop, swallowing your words.

"You are pregnant, Miss Y/L/N."

Your eyes fall to the floor as you try to take in the words you just heard. You slowly turn and walk back to the bed, sitting down calmly.

Pregnant. Pregnant. The word repeated itself in your mind.

"Are you okay?"

You scrunched your face and waved them off, laying down on the bed and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Visiting hours are four to six. Mr. Cameron will be waiting to see you."

You don't respond, burying your face into the pillow and letting the tears fall silently from your eyes.

____________

The clock struck four and you were already sitting up, waiting for nurse to come retrieve you. You'd been thinking for the last few hours about everything. Whether or not you were going to tell Rafe. You had no clue how Rafe was feeling. You'd just tried to end your life. You also got high as fuck. You wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave you.

You traced the RC that was scarred in your skin and silently prayed he would forgive you. Your other hand traced your stomach. You didn't want to die. You wanted to be with Rafe. You wanted your baby. You wanted to be normal and be happy for your family.

You heard the door click open and you jumped. "You have a visitor," The nurse said, holding the door open so he could escort you to the visiting room.

You walked slowly, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. Courtney must have packed your bag. A few pairs of sweats, tank tops, and sweaters. All things the hospital would accept. She remembered what you could and couldn't have in here.

You enter the cafeteria, scanning the room and seeing people sitting with their loved ones. Your eyes landed on Rafe and you breathed a sigh of relief.

He looked up, eyes meeting yours. He slowly stood from his seat, scanning over your body as he tried to accept the fact you were in here.

You couldn't hold back the tears as you ran to him and jumped in his arms. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and you could feel him sniffling into your hair.

"Hey baby girl!" He mumbled, letting his own tears flow. He gripped you for dear life, as if he were to let go you'd simply evaporate.

"Rafe, I don't remember anything." You whisper.

You could feel Rafe try to control his breathing. He obviously remembers everything.

"Sit down, baby." He says, releasing his grip on you and helping your weak body into the chair. He sits next to you, taking your hands in his.

He choked back tears as he felt how frail you were.

The expression on his face broke your heart. Knowing it was your fault he was in so much pain. "Rafe....I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head. "No, baby, no. It's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you."

"Rafe, baby, what are you talking about?" You lean forward, tilting his chin up to look at you. "All you do is take care of me. This isn't your fault."

"I just-" He begins, trying to take in a deep breath. "I just want to make you happy. I want to build a life that you will be happy with."

"You make me so happy, Rafe. My head just isn't right. But I'm gonna get it right. For you. For us. For-" You stop yourself. "For us." You repeat.

You hated yourself right now. The way tears spilled out from his beautiful blue eyes. You can't believe you put him through this.

You force yourself to smile. You didn't want to be here. You had absolutely no idea what to do about the news you were pregnant. But if being here could potentially get you some help, you were willing to do so. For him. For your baby.

You climb into his lap, wrapping your fragile arms around his neck. He brings his arms up, wrapping around your waist. His wrist rested on your hip bone, noticing how thin you were under your sweater.

"Did you eat today, baby?" He whispered, already knowing the answer.

You shake your head. "No, but I'll have dinner after this." You promise. Knowing you have to eat for two even though the thought of food made you sick.

You pull back from him slightly. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Rafe sighs, the memory of the night prior causing him extreme anxiety, but he nodded his head.

-

A look of disgust sat on your face as Rafe finished telling you what happened. You were so upset with yourself. You could have reached out for help but you decided to fuck up instead. As you always do. Always afraid of asking for help and just getting high and trying to end it all instead. Even when you were with the love of your life.

"5 minutes," A nurse said as he walked past you.

You and Rafe both ignored him.

"Rafe..." You began, tangling your fingers with is. "I'm going to get better okay?" He was hesitant and you didn't blame him. Rafe was a coke head, yes, but he had never seen this side of addiction. "I'm going to talk with the doctor tonight. Talk about meds and therapy and all that shit. Just please...please don't give up on me."

His eyes shot up to meet yours, almost offended by your words. "I would never leave you."

That's when you realized how fucking shitty you were. Rafe was a coke head. But he stopped for you. He took care of you when you overdosed. When you tried to end your life. He was completely addicted to you. Drugs couldn't compare. He'd do anything just to have you but here you were, running off to the trap to get high and landing yourself in a mental institution.

The nurses announced that visiting hours were over and your stomach dropped. You weren't ready to spend the night without Rafe.

"I'll be back tomorrow," He promises. "I love you more than anything, angel." He said as he pulled you into him and pressed kisses to your head.

"Can you bring Courtney tomorrow?" You ask.

Rafe's face falls. "Uhm..."

"What is it?"

Rafe sighs. "Courtney is, uhmm...she's upset."

You look down. Courtney had been subjected to this before. You couldn't blame her.

"I'll talk to her, okay?" He says, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. You just nod in agreement and he presses a kiss to your lips.

You want to savor the moment forever but it's cut short by the nurses ushering you all back to your rooms. You turn to look at Rafe one more time. He attempts a smile but you can still see the pain on his face.

Once you are back in your room you let it all out. You sobbed loudly as you thought about your actions, how much pain Rafe was in, how Courtney was hurting, how you had a tiny human growing inside you. It was all so overwhelming.

A nurse knocked on your door and you quickly wiped away your tears. "Dinner?"

You offer a smile, walking over and taking the tray of food from him. "Thank you."

You go back to your bed and pick at the food on your plate. It looked disgusting but you knew you needed to eat. You rubbed your belly, knowing the little life you and Rafe created was growing inside you. Suddenly, you didn't feel so alone.

_________

You stayed calm the next few days. You saw the doctor and she prescribed you some antidepressants, ones that wouldn't hurt the baby, you made sure.

She voted against the anti-psychotics, since it didn't seem to be a prominent thing. You knew this last episode was fueled by depression, alcohol, and far too much cocaine.

Rafe visited you every day. You still hadn't told him. You couldn't, not like this. You told him how hard you were trying to get better, and he could see your change in behavior. Being completely sober seemed to improve your mood so much.

After Rafe left on day three, you headed straight to speak with your therapist.

"Hey," You said as your plopped down on the couch in her office.

"Y/N, how are you feeling?" She asks with a smile.

"I'm good," You say, biting your lip and blushing. "Just saw Rafe. I can't wait to get out of here and be with him again." You throw your head back, smiling like an idiot.

She chuckles. "Will he be the one picking you up tomorrow?"

"Yep!"

"Have you told him?" She asked, motioning to your stomach.

You smile and place your hand on your belly. "Not yet. I want it to be special. I don't want to tell him while I'm locked up in here. He'll go nuts. He's a very hands on type of person."

She nods. "How are you feeling about your sobriety plan?"

"I can do it. For Rafe and for our baby. I don't want anything to happen to him."

"Him?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

You smile. "Yeah. I've been having dreams the last few nights. It's a boy."

Your therapist humors you. Getting through the rest of your session, she makes sure you're all set up with your medication, contact info for any help you may need, and goes over the plan you two worked out for getting back on your feet.

In all honestly, you didn't care. Yes, you were going to take your meds. Yes you were going to stay sober. But you just wanted to get home. You wanted to be with Rafe.

________

You woke up the next morning with a smile. You threw on a clean pair of sweats and a tank top. You tossed your beach waves into a high ponytail. You couldn't help but smile in your tiny bathroom mirror. Rafe would be here soon and you'd get to go home.

All you wanted was to get some McDonald's, go home, make love, and watch movies with the love of your life. You were determined to prioritize your happiness so you could be a good girlfriend and a good mother.

You sat on your bed, clutching your duffle bag. You couldn't help but smile as you tried to be patient for the nurse.

Finally, he came to retrieve you. "Ready to go, Miss Y/L/N?"

You jumped up from your bed and walked out the door. "Yep!"

You walked with confidence, feeling like your old self again. You clutched your bag to your shoulder, running your thumb over the RC on your chest. You couldn't help but smile. Things were going to be good now.

The nurse escorts you out to the lobby, and to no surprise, your blue-eyed, 6'4" boy was waiting for you. You dropped your bag and jumped into his arms.

"Hey baby!"

"Pretty girl," He whispered into your neck. "I've missed you so much."

You enjoyed his embrace for a moment before he set you down and picked up your bag. "You ready to go?"

"Fuck yes!" You say excitedly.

Rafe laces his fingers through yours, trying his best to ignore the bandage on your wrist.

He walks you out to his truck and helps you into the passenger seat. "You hungry?" He asks.

"Mickey D's!" You yell excitedly. Your meds were doing a great job of bringing your mood up.

Rafe chuckles. "As you wish, angel." He closes your door and runs around the truck to hop in the drivers side.

Rafe pulls into the drive thru, ordering you nuggets and fries and a McFlurry, of course. He orders himself some food too and he parks in the parking lot.

The two of you giggle, throwing fries at eachother and sharing food. Just enjoying the moment on this beautiful sunny day.

"So I'm guessing you're ready for a horror movie marathon?" Rafe asks as he drives back to Figure Eight.

"Most definitely!" You tell him. "But...can we stop by Courtney's real quick?"

Rafe bites his lip at your request, but he nods.

Courtney had barely talked to the boys in days. She was traumatized. It was the second time she'd seen you try to take your life. She did everything in her power to make you happy and it was never enough. It wasn't her fault, of course, but she couldn't help but feel like it was.

Rafe pulls into Courtney's driveway. He's about to get out of the truck but you stop him. "Just, give me a minute. Please." You tell him. He's reluctant but he nods.

You hop out of the truck and head towards the front door. You take a deep breath before ringing the door bell.

Helena answers, taking in the sight of you. She held back tears as she pulled you into her arms. She didn't say anything. Just held you tight and rubbed your back before nodding towards the basement.

You offer her a smile and head downstairs. You could hear a movie playing loudly. You turned the corner to the theater room, seeing Courtney spread out on the couch. A plethora of soda cans and snack wrappers littering the table in front of her.

"Court?" You say softly. Almost hoping she doesn't here you. But she does. Her head snaps to you, but she doesn't move to get up.

She reaches for the remote and pauses her movie. "Hey," She finally says. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm, uhm...I'm good." You told her. "How are you?"

She snorts at your question. "Living the dream."

"Courtney, I'm so sorry-"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I-I don't remember doing it. It was a mistake."

"So I'm supposed to forgive you and just wait for you to do it again?" She scoffs.

Her words hurt, but they are valid. "I'm totally sober now, Court. And I'm on meds. I'm really trying to sort my shit out."

"What's gonna keep you sober? Rafe obviously isn't good enough. You should have seen him after they took you to the nuthouse. He was a fucking wreck. I've never seen a grown man cry like that!" She's standing now, yelling at you.

Your face twitches but you bite back tears. "I know. But it's different now."

"How's it different, Y/N?! Please, enlighten me!"

"I'm pregnant!" You say, standing up to meet her gaze.

Her eyes widen, trying to find the words to say.

"Rafe doesn't know yet." You add.

Courtney's lip quivers. She couldn't be mad at you. As much as you hurt her, she loved you more than anything.

She pulls you to her, hugging you tightly. You hug her back as she rocks you back and forth.

You hold each other for a solid five minutes. She pulls back, taking your face between her hands. "You're gonna be such a good mama." She tells you with a smile. And she meant it. As fucked up as you were, you were loyal, and you put the people you loved first.

You beam up at her. She leans down and presses kiss to your lips. "Don't you ever do that shit again," She scolds when she pulls back.

"I promise, Court."

She smiles. "Go, tell Rafe."

You smile back at her. "I'll text you. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiles.

You run upstairs and out the front door, quickly hopping into Rafe's truck.

"Everything okay?" He asks.

You smile. "Everything is perfect. Can we go back to my place? Watch movies, order food, and maybe take a bath?" You ask.

"That sounds perfect, baby girl." He says, leaning over and kissing you.

You bite your lip and look out the window, excited about your future for once in your life.

[violetsdaisy]

Happy first birthday to my Mind Your Manners series. I posted Before We Knew It after having a really hard time coming back from writing the emotional turmoil of Plus One. I will always thank @hikariandyamiblog for giving me permission to write something super self-indulgent. I love her lots.

The idea actually came from the song below, haha. And it originally wasn't going to be kinky, but it just kind of happened and then I couldn't stop.

I am glad I ended up writing it, because it kind of gave me a segue into writing Opal Eyes and my other similar stories. Including the one I am writing right now.

Thank you to everyone who read and loved it just as much as me. And who took a chance on it. I will forever appreciate you until the world stops turning.

Under the cut is my favorite scene from the first chapter of Before We Knew It. These boys are: 🔥🌹

Atem faced him then, leaning a hip on the table as he regarded Yugi over his cup while taking a drink. When he didn’t say anything in response, Yugi’s smile faltered. 

“What?” Yugi finally questioned when Atem’s silent stare became too unnerving. 

Atem sat his empty cup on the table and stepped closer to Yugi. “I’m surprised at you.” Yugi swallowed down his nerves as Atem tilted his head a little. “And here I thought you were the most innocent one in the room.” 

Yugi’s brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?” 

Atem began to draw closer and Yugi didn’t know why, but he was suddenly rooted to the spot, unable to move even if he wanted to. Completely at the man before him’s mercy. 

“Do you honestly think I didn’t know what you were doing during our duel, sweetheart?” 

Yugi’s heart jumped to his throat. “I-I am not sure what you mean. I just played the game.” 

Atem’s gaze pierced through him as he took the last necessary step toward him, their clothing brushing and sending goosebumps along Yugi’s arms. 

Atem leaned forward, face getting closer and closer until Yugi couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes shut automatically, completely spellbound and out of his mind. Going against better judgment and completely willing to let an out of this world sexy stranger kiss him right there on the second floor of The Black Clown. 

He felt Atem’s breath upon his lips and Yugi’s heart skipped. Just when he thought he would get kissed right then and there, Atem drifted past his cheek to where his ear was. “You’re playing with fire, Yugi. Using your manners like a good boy right there in front of everyone. Just begging for my attention.” 

Yugi’s body lit on fire and he sucked in a breath when Atem’s lips met the sensitive skin of his ear. 

“You should be over my knee for the act you just pulled. For distracting the king to steal his crown. Don’t you think you should be punished for such a crime?” 

[sergle]

had another consult w Dr. Boobs about my reduction to check on my healing progress, and I continue to get a good grade in boobs

[lindensea]

Three books into the Claidi Journals by Tanith Lee and I'm still having so much fun. I am once again wondering why no one talks about these books?? Sharp WIT, slightly insane world building, solid characterization, romance, good racial/ethnic positivity for the time, a storyline that does not feel familiar at all...who was doing it like Tanith Lee? And to think that neither library system in my area even carries them so I will have to buy the fourth book secondhand online in order to finish the series???

[titwarsaw]

today i found out that one of my closest irl friends used to watch dnp. dead on the spot

[casual-eumetazoa]

yesterday was interesting. got diagnosed with ADHD and also my debut novel came out. anyways back to burnout I guess

[kxllerblond]

Happy Tuesday everyone, I will now be unloading unsolicited opinions about the RPC.

People take 'This is a hobby!!' way too far to the point you are not taking into account other real people also exist and are only thinking about yourself and it can come across as scummy and self-absorbed and a lot of people use the 'just a hobby!' to excuse this shitty behavior and an inability to communicate with other hobby enjoyers like adults.

No one should get mad at people for dropping threads or not being active, but it's also super shitty to just ghost people and go 'teehee just a hobby so you aren't allowed to be upset!'. Like, yeah, you have limited time and a real life but so does?? everyone else on here?? It's super not cool to just invalidate people who are upset their limited time is, in their view, being wasted.

Obviously, I'm not defending people that don't just unfollow or block and move on and who get passive aggro about it all. And I'm also not calling out the people that don't do much but are like PRESENT to some degree even if it's just ooc shitposting.

I mainly mean the people I see who refuse to do threads, to answer asks, to communicate when stuff is being dropped to some degree, to participate and be social in any capacity and then get kinda pissy when no one wants to send them shit anymore. Like you are entitled to exist and participate in this hobby as you see fit....but it is a social hobby. You HAVE to give to get and if people pin you as someone who only takes, they're going to stop giving. None of us have little meow meows that are so interesting that we can just expect people to frolic to them and gush about them and shower them with interaction without some sort of reciprocation.

And, frankly, I don't think there's room to complain when that happens. You can't have your cake and eat it too in this scenario. You can 'this is just a hobby!' your way through things how you like, but you also have to realize the consequences of that and you can't be upset when they come down on you and your blog.

[airbenderedacted]

deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)