#I am leaving this scheduled I hope it is not published before

[averageallogene]

Lyney ♡⊹˚ His lucky charm [NSFW]

✧˖°. Summary: Before his most recent shows, Lyney seems to have some nervousness regarding his abilities as a magician. Thankfully, his lovely girlfriend is always there to ease his mind beforehand, providing him with the luck her magician boyfriend needs.

fem. reader (3rd person) ; this is basically smut with little more than an intro to it, so beware. Also SPOILERS for ACT I of the first Fontaine Archon Quest. 

5k words.

notes. Hi yes hello I am back, I have played the two Archon Quests, and after working a little for my thesis I decided to write something by my own volition <3. I’m not sure if Lyney here might be portrayed accurately but nonetheless I really wanted to write a smaller piece for him before doing it for other characters! He’s adorable :( ♡ Enjoy ✧˖°

By clicking on the “expand”, you are hereby agreeing to view NSFW content. PLEASE if you are under 18, DO NOT INTERACT. 

PLEASE do not report, as this is my warning to those who do not wish to view NSFW. I, like most writers, work hard on each piece we choose to publish, and reporting it will decrease the number of readers it reaches... Thank you for understanding ✧˖°

Magicians have no need for something many folk cling onto - luck. After all, every trick they perform is something they study, polish, rearrange, rehearse. Everything is staged to the finest of details, leaving no room for unpredictable variables to enter the equation. Every performance is acted out accordingly, a mental checklist going on inside the performer's mind as each prop is placed and moved about, each line is repeated from the rehearsals, each movement in one’s body is carefully played out. Everything is a carefully crafted performance, and what need do they have for luck? None.

To Lyney, such is the truth. Well, at least this philosophy held itself rock solid, up until the incident that nearly landed him a guilty verdict. Despite his confidence in his abilities to wow the crowds, even before there would always be a small but ever present pitter patter to his heart, a quiet reminder of his own nervousness before the show would begin. He would usually handle himself most well, though through the eyes of those closest to them, the normal feeling of “performance jitters” wasn’t all that well hidden. Well, and if that were the case, more so after things went back to normal.

His breathing would be a little more unstable, his fingers would fidget with one of his cards as his eyes darted about his changing room. He would fiddle with his exquisite hat, rebraid his hair while trying to ease himself. Things had gone back to normal, their scheduled shows were once more popular and always fully booked. Yet still, there always was this sense of anxiety deep in his stomach, never truly going away as he quietly wondered if the show would go as planned. 

Well, thankfully he had someone to help ease his mind each time. And as if right on que as he brooded over the upcoming performance, a knock to his dressing room was heard, the door opening to reveal the loveliest of sights. At the door stood [F/N], his lovely girlfriend who would always visit him before he went on stage. 

“Hi Lyney! Hope I’m not intruding?” She asked sweetly, smiling his way which only helped to ease his worries.

“You never are, my love. Come in!” He breathes out, the eagerness to have her close not quite passing unnoticed to her. He extends his arms before fully taking her in his embrace, sighing deeply as he inhales the familiar perfume she would always wear. His favorite. 

“How are you feeling?” [F/N]’s voice grows softer, her arms resting around his lower back as she smiles his way. The silence that follows is enough of an answer, her magician simply distracting himself with playing with the tips of her hair. “...Nervous?”

“...Hah, why it seems nothing really blinks past you. I may have taught you… Too well…” He jests, the smile on his face betraying him before it drops slightly. It reveals some of his vulnerability for her, his violet eyes locking with her own before he speaks up again. “I suppose it’s just some performance jitters again, nothing new...”

“It’s okay Lyney. You’ll do great, I know so.” Her smile shone brighter than the very sun, beaming with warmth that was only cast to him. It comforted his very being, filling his conflicted heart with sugary sweetness that only soothed him in a way no one else could. And if that wasn’t enough, the next few sentences were the ones that would always, always seal the deal for him. “Everything will go well, and everyone will be wowed by your hard work. I’m proud of you.”

It was as though his heart was struck, pierced with cupid’s arrow as he couldn’t keep up the calm and confident act. Lyney’s body visibly relaxed, a content snicker escaping his lips as his arms brought her closer. His lips were quicker than his words, filling her face with brief yet lovely kisses, watching with glee as she giggled as a response. Amidst each kiss he whispered words of gratitude for her support, his hands roaming throughout her lower back as he yearned to feel her closer and closer. 

“Lyney… You didn’t even let me finish!” She laughed, her words being cut off with a deeper kiss as his lips found her own. She could feel his smile against her lips, the magician quite literally stealing her breath away before finally pulling away. 

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. I just can’t contain myself, you’re just too adorable for me to!” He sighed, the flamboyant hum in which he spoke glittering the otherwise full truth she very well knew. “To think a professional magician would be wowed in such a way, you’ll be the death of me…”

“You almost make it sound like I’m such a bad thing.” [F/N] rolled her eyes playfully, her fingers carefully adjusting his hair before inspecting to see if his braid was well done. 

It was in small moments like so that Lyney would cease to speak, allowing his beloved to do as she pleased. His eyes would focus solely on her, watching how her expression would shift, her eyes roaming about to ensure he looked his absolute best. He could feel his heart beating hard against his ribcage, no longer solely because of the nervousness he would feel before each one of his shows. The mere sight of his girlfriend was enough to blow away the growing blaze of anxiety, leaving it only in embers that with time would cease. Her mere care, her mere nature, her beauty inside out… 

It was enough to leave Lyney riddled into little more than a lovesick puppy, the loopy smile upon his pretty face being reserved only for her. 

“Lyney?” [F/N] called for him once more, watching as he finally seemed to come back to. His hands were roaming around her hips, carefully circling around her figure as he finally let out a soft hum for her to continue. “You’re a little too quiet… Everything okay?”

“I’m so lucky to have you, [F/N]...”

It was her turn to be left speechless, her face morphing to surprise as their gazes locked. He watched as the loveliest shade of red adorned her cheeks, the flusteredness he’d often cause on her never failing to amuse him. Still, despite so, he hoped she knew just how sincere he was with his words. 

“Oh Archons… What’s gotten into you?” Her voice whined a little lower, her eyes turning away to avoid him for a mere instance in which her flusteredness was still far too raw. She could feel how his lips chased after her skin, peppering her with light and soft kisses by the corner of her mouth. 

“Nothing.” He responded, his usual flair dropping to soft whispers as he carefully turned her around, helping her have a seat on his vanity. Between fleeting kisses, Lyney took the opportunity to bring himself between her legs, his hands never letting her stray far from himself. “I just wish to remind you more often, because it’s the truth.”

“Well I think it’s the other way around, you know… I’m the one that’s lucky here.” [F/N] smiled softly, her hands finding rest on his shoulders before gently massaging his tense muscles. Her boyfriend leaned back, his eyes gleaming with a twinkle that seemed familiar, one of challenge and mischievousness that would often leave her questioning before finally realizing what he’d plotted. 

“My my, is that so?” He hummed, head tilting to the side while his grip on her tightened ever so slightly. “If that’s the case, how come each time you visit me beforehand, every show I perform runs far better than what I expect?”

“Oh, you’re really running with that?” She giggled, music to his ears. “Only because I kissed you that one time, telling you it would bring you good luck?”

“And did that show not go beyond amazing? In fact, I do believe that was the peak in my career thus far.” He reasoned with a nod to his head, kissing her deeply before resting his forehead against her own. “Therefore, I’m the lucky one here, and you my dear [F/N], are my lucky charm.”

“Oh Lyney…” She sighed softly, stroking her hand through his blond locks slowly. “I didn’t know that tonight my magician was planning to turn me into putty in his hands.”

It was his turn to laugh, quietly, yet full of warmth and endearment. “It’s what you get for stealing this magician’s heart long ago.”

“Ah! I’m gone. Goodbye Fontaine, I am melting from my boyfriend’s words!” [F/N] leaned back dramatically, Lyney catching her before she would fall too far and hit her head against the large mirror of his vanity. The pair laughed in unison, fingers interlacing as he brought her close to himself once more.

“You’ve definitely gotten that dramatic flair from me.” He pointed out, his free hand now resting firmly on her thigh. He watched with hearts in his eyes as she giggled at his comment, shrugging her shoulders before bringing him closer with her legs. 

“I love you.” [F/N] whispered, leaning forward before it being her turn to steal a few kisses for herself. 

It never stopped after that though, one going after the other, kisses lingering longer before them turning into a longer makeout session. The way her lips were always so soft, so warm, the faint taste of her favorite chapstick melting against his own, it never failed to leave Lyney yearning for more, his whole being focusing solely on his lover whilst everything else blurred around them. His tongue carefully peeked through his own lips before swiping across her own, the grin being felt against her mouth as he felt her jolt slightly from the antic. Giving him permission to continue, Lyney carefully led the dance, his tongue meeting her own as they both ignored the need of air, muffled breaths fanning one another as their hands held the other closer, tighter. Before he knew it he was leaning himself forward and her backwards, a little more, his body pressing against her own before they were practically bent with her head touching the mirror behind them. Her legs were pressed against his sides, never letting him stray too far, her hands stroking through his back and hair, sending shivers down his spine as sparks ignited deep within him. 

“L…Lyn-ney…” She murmured between breaths, him finally tilting his head so the two of them could breathe. The way her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she breathed heavily seemed to only entice something further deep within him. “W…What about your show?”

“Worried about that?” He inquired, the clear endearment for her concern being evident in his tone of voice. He leaned closer, voice whispering as he slowly licked the strand of saliva that had dropped down her chin. “We still have time, if that’s what’s troubling you dear.”

“H-Hah…” The words seemed to get stuck on her throat as his hands maneuvered around her frame, carefully parting her legs a little more to give him better access. His fingers quickly grabbed a hold of the hem of her dress, lifting it up slightly before resting his palm on her warm thigh, his lips still remaining close to her own as his very being craved more of her.

“Do you want me to stop?” Lyney softly asked, leaning back as his own breath grew uneven. His face too displayed a lovely shade of pink, his lips redder after the relentless kisses she’d given him. His eyes were glittering with excitement, half-lidded with pure love as he waited for her response. His thumb was caressing her skin softly, the circular motion he did easing her more than arousing her as he searched for her honest answer.

It was embarrassing to admit, but [F/N] absolutely did not want to stop. Her body felt far too hot for her to go back on it now. “I… N-No.”

“Are you certain, dear?” He leaned closer, eyes squinting softly as his breath fanned her face. His hands slithered a little more upwards, giving her goosebumps as they traveled up to her hips. “I don’t want to put you in any situation that might be even a little uncomfortable… I will understand if this is-”

“N-No Lyney, I’m okay.” She nodded her head to reassure him, her hands gripping his clothing tighter as if not wanting him to move an inch away. “I admit, it’s… A bit nerve wracking, given the place but… I still don’t want you to stop.”

He bit his lip, smiling with both excitement and apology. “I’m sorry love, I always seem to get carried away when it’s about you.”

It definitely was the truth, especially given with the way his hands moved around her body. There was always a certain kind of care in each movement, his grip upon her skin tight and loving, as if reassuring himself she was there, with him. Lyney was both selfish and giving when it came to his beloved [F/N], always wanting more for himself, yet always wanting to reassure her she felt properly adored.  

“We’ll have to be-” He kissed her again, followed by another, her lips trying to keep up with his own as he gave her fleeting kisses. “Very quiet- Okay?”

“M-Mhm.” She nodded her head, her face blushing a deeper shade of red as his fingers finally lifted her skirt up. Her own hands helped him hold it up for him, watching him as it finally dawned on her, his figure getting nice and cozy in between her legs before he kneeled down. “L-Lyney?”

The grin he gave her was enough to make her lower region throb. 

“I’m craving a taste of you, baby. Could you please indulge me?” He whispered, his hands parting her legs before resting securely against them. His head turned to her left thigh, leaving a trail of small bites and kisses as he came closer, delighting himself in every reaction she offered him, every gasp and jump, every attempt at caging his head in between her legs. 

“J-Just- Don’t tease me, please.” [F/N] outright pleaded, earning herself an honest nod of his head as his eyes sparkled in anticipation. 

Carefully, her eyes jumped back at the closed door before going back to him, her breath trembling as she breathed out from her parted lips. Whilst one hand held her dress up, the other slowly lowered, helping him to remove the lacey underwear that hid his most wanted prize away. And with a lift of her hips, they were off easily, hanging by her ankle as Lyney’s gaze focused solely on the erotic view before him. His [F/N], holding her dress up for him, sat on his vanity as her chest rose and lowered irregularly, her pussy in full display for him alone. It was enough to get him aroused, the fabric of his own clothes becoming far too constricting as he felt his boner raging to be freed.

His experienced hands crept closer, thumbs slowly hovering her juicy lips before deliciously parting them. He could feel his mouth go dry in an instance, the view of her leaking pussy outright hypnotizing him as she let out a quiet moan. He couldn’t help himself but play around with her pussy lips a little, after all, how could he not? The way her pretty hole would throb in want, leaking out her nectar only for him, dripping down her skin and onto his table, the squelching sounds being nearly enough for him to lose all sense of control. He couldn’t help himself but stare, watch in lust before her soft moans and whines became a little too loud, all the while still arousing him even further.

“Lyney!” She pleaded in a whisper, the pout she offered him sending his heart racing. 

“Yes, you’re right baby… I’m sorry.” He hummed, leaning forth before finally giving her heat a long, slow and deep lick. The vibrations from his hum resonated with her pussy, sending pleasant shockwaves throughout her body as she shut her lips right before moaning. “We’re gonna have to be quieter, love. Can you do that for me?” 

It was difficult to hear him when he was practically squishing his face against her pussy, yet from the mere fact he’d stopped, [F/N] had been able to deduct what he wanted from her quickly enough. She nodded her head eagerly, blushing even deeper as she bit her lip.

“Mhm… ‘M sorry…”

It truly divided Lyney’s heart in two, for he absolutely adored hearing every sound [F/N] would bless him with. Her voice already was pure melody for his ears, all the more when she would be moaning due to his administrations. However, the pure excitement of their ordeal, having a chance of being caught, it was enough to keep him going, to entice him to lick more, to lap around her clit again, to suckle on it whilst plunging one of his fingers deep inside. The way his beloved would instead jolt more often, writhe above him, attempt to suffocate him as her legs tried to close around him, all to not be as vocal, it all had him entranced. 

"You taste so good…" He groaned against her folds, his tongue practically spelling out his love for her as he ate her out with such passion. The groans and sighs that would escape him would only please her further, sending [F/N] closer and closer to her own release as she practically bit down her tongue to quiet out her own moans. Lyney simply couldn't have enough of her taste, lapping every last drop to his greedy tongue as he yearned for more, fingering and licking it out of her as he could feel her gummy walls throb against his fingers. "You're so wet, too… So dirty, my angel."

"L-Lyney…" She mumbled, her erotic whine finally pulling him out of his trance to look her way. By that point she'd already held her fingers around his hair, him not even noticing up until that very moment. 

His light eyes glanced up, for a moment the magician forgetting how to even breathe. It felt as though the wind was knocked out of him, staring up to see his beloved gazing down at him with such a needy look. Her cheeks were flushed, the thin layer of sweat visible on her forehead as her grip on his hair tightened softly. Her teeth were by that point gritting tightly against the hem of her dress, it being her faint attempt at keeping her noises down to a minimum as he ate her out to his heart's content. The view was dirty, marvelous. The dress was lifted to such a way he could now see part of her tummy as well, her body lined with sweat as it reacted to every little touch he gave her. 

It drove Lyney over the edge. He couldn't wait any longer. The breath finally left his mouth in a shaky notion, her thighs shaking like jello as it hit her bare pussy before he got up. 

"Gods, you're so gorgeous [F/N]." He outright moaned, his fingers carefully taking the fabric out of her mouth. He watched how she heaved deeply, her lips tempting him to latch onto them. And who was he to refuse, but a poor magician whose heart had been stolen by the woman before him?

He leaned in quickly, capturing her lips against his own as they both moaned against one another. Their hands couldn't let go of the other, fiddling with their clothes as they attempted to find the best position to finally get what they both wanted. [F/N] leaned herself to the edge of the table, her legs still apart for him as her fingers now fiddled with his belt, unbuckling it before finally freeing him of his leather shorts. Lyney could feel his cock throbbing already, eager to finally plunge inside of her spongy walls and ease the yearning he so deeply felt. He groaned against her lips as she finally freed his hard length, pumping it for him slowly as it was now her turn to suck on his tongue with her own lips. 

"I need you, Lyney…" [F/N] moaned, helping him to part her legs further as he kept his face closer to her own. 

"I know, baby, I know. It's only fair I indulge you after you've treated me so well, right?" He hummed with a smile, all the while his face indicating just how excited he was. 

He grunted quietly as he carefully rubbed his cock against her leaking folds, the two of them attempting to quiet their moans down to the best of their abilities. [F/N] could feel how the particularly protruding vein on the side of his cock rubbed against her pussy, sending tears to the corners of her eyes as she felt herself closer and closer to her release after being so well tended to by her lover. Lyney in turn kissed her tears away, his lips never leaving her face as he practically gulped down her moans to himself. After coating both her pussy with his pre and his cock with her bountiful juices he stopped, lining himself with her entrance before, with a glance shared, he carefully thrusted himself inside.

His hands gripped onto her knees, his lips shutting themselves tightly so as to not moan out as he often would. The way his eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to not voice much of the obvious pleasure he was feeling was a delightful view, [F/N]'s face blushing madly as she brought him closer. Her arms wrapped around him tightly as she hid her face against his neck, her lips pressing against his skin as she quietly whimpered in pleasure. 

"Ah, Lyney!" She moaned quietly, her nails digging into his shoulders as his own sighs of pleasure hit her ear. 

"You're so tight, baby-" He in turn hissed gently, feeling how her spongy walls swallowed him whole as he finally bottomed out. His own hands were gripping harshly against her skin, the two of them sharing moans between one another even as his tip hit her deepest part. "Fuck, you're so wet. It feels so good."

"Please Lyney, give me more…" [F/N] pleaded to him, her eyes wide and glistening with pleasure as she leaned back for an instance. At that point she was once more leaning back against the rest of his vanity, granting him access to pound as deeply as his heart desired. The mere sight of her in such a way was enough for him to derail. 

"Archons, anything for you [F/N]." The magician grunted, his hands leaving her knees as his lips latched onto her own. 

By her own she was able to open her legs as widely as possible, the hem of her dress covering everything from the mid-thigh up as her hands were far too busy around his body. They wrapped around him tightly, effectively caging Lyney in between her much to his contentment. His own hands were busy holding her as close as possible, resting on her hips securely as to not knock her or anything else out, the items on his furniture tumbling slightly with every thrust he pounded into her needy core. With each time he bottomed out Lyney reached deeper, the tip of his cock effectively kissing her cervix as he molded her walls to his shape. He drank her every moan as if he worshiped all sounds she offered, his lips sucking on her tongue in such a lewd manner that he couldn't help but grin over how she squeezed him harder over it. 

"Hyaahhhh, Hinhey…" [F/N] attempted to moan his name out, her puffy lips parted as his own toyed with her tongue to his pleasure. 

He could feel the way she was milking him dry, her juices thoroughly coating his cock generously as her pussy practically praised and outright worshiped him. Her walls throbbed deliriously, sending him closer and closer to his edge as he fucked her through what he very well knew was her approaching orgasm. 

"Is my baby- Close?" He leaned back to speak, humming quietly while licking his own lips eagerly. He watched as she nodded her head quickly, her fingers combing through his hair slowly, deeply. Just how he loved it. "Here, cum for me will you? You can take me like this as you do, right baby?"

[F/N] bit her lip, nodding her head again. She watched how one of his hands left her hips, holding it up for her to take it. His girlfriend took it without thinking twice, their fingers lacing together before Lyney held them against his mirror, his pace quickening up. Once more he glued his lips to hers, never quite truly satisfied with her kisses just as much as he never quite got enough of her pussy. Her breath against him grew ragged, her moans growing ever louder, all while trying to suppress them in what he could only find the cutest whines. He bent her more, held her tighter, he pounded deeper into her. He could feel her moans vibrate against his mouth before she finally gasped, a high pitched sob being all she could muster before her inner walls violently spasmed around him, creaming his cock bountifully as she rode her high. Even still, just as he'd asked her to, Lyney continued to thrust, still as deeply albeit slower, letting her savor her release just as he quickly followed with his closing one. 

"Gyah, L-Lyney-!" [F/N] moaned against him, he in turn shushed her in understanding. "Mmm, t-to much!"

"I'm so close baby, so close…" He whispered, his thrusts a little less rhythmic as he tried to focus. His eyes opened to gaze deeply into hers, the sight of her red cheeks and unfocused eyes only edging him further deep into the abyss of pleasure. "Can you please take it just a little more? Just like this…”

“Mhm…” She eagerly nodded her head, the tears of overstimulation streaming down her face sending a long shiver down his spine. His free hand came to rest upon the side of her face, thumb clearing the tears away as his grip on her other hand tightened. “I-Inside, please.”

He bit his tongue gently as he smiled, nodding his head before pulling her head closer for a deep kiss. “Anything for my lovely lady.”

Against him she moaned, him in unison as he felt the knot deep inside himself finally snap. Lyney felt his eyes shut, a deep low grunt leaving his throat before he finally felt his release wash over him. He thrusted deeper still, his pace finally slowing down as thick ropes of seed flooded over [F/N]’s inner walls. Her womb was eager to receive the abundant load, being painted white from inside out as it overflowed whilst he still remained sheathed inside. Whilst their fingers were still locked she brought him closer, holding him tightly as her body shivered with the overstimulation. Lyney could feel his breath finally begin to slow down, a few final slow thrusts of his hips following as he moaned quietly, ensuring he was milked for all he was worth. He held his [F/N] close, as close as possible, their bodies finally relaxing as they rested atop his vanity, her body welcoming him closer as his seed leaked down and dropped onto the ground.

Even as she still regulated her breath, lips puffy and red and mascara slightly smudged from the sweat and tears, Lyney lunged forward, capturing her lips for the millionth time. Never satiated, like the greedy man he was at heart, he smiled against her as he enveloped her closer, relishing a moment longer. The silence that followed felt comforting, the two of them sighing in bliss as he felt her arms around his figure. 

“Sorry… It must’ve been uncomfortable to sit like that, on such a surface.” He stated, eyebrows furrowing softly as his thumbs cleared her smudged makeup as much as he could. Lyney dared not move, still not even wanting to pull out. It wasn’t as though he could anyway, for the way [F/N]’s legs captured him definitely sent a message for him to stay a little longer.

“Mhm, it’s fine… I enjoyed it all the same.” She smiled sheepishly, relishing in his soft touches as she in turn rearranged his side swept bangs. 

“I’m glad.” He sighed in relief, the pair too engrossed into one another to even notice how some bottles had tumbled over amidst their frolicking. “Still, next time I’ll be sure to make up for it, for all of it.”

“Lyney, truly it’s fine!” [F/N] laughed softly, finally opening her legs for him to move more freely. She watched in amusement how her boyfriend coughed softly upon noticing how heavy she leaked, rummaging through the room to find a towel he could dampen to help clean up. “Sorry… We might’ve taken too long, no?”

“Hey, if anything it’s my fault… It’s what I get for being so greedy.” He reassured her with a sincere smile, carefully helping her to clean up before dressing her back up. [F/N] watched as he fanned his face with his hand, the blush on his face still evident as she helped him dress up as well, a snicker escaping her pretty lips at the sight. 

“Well… I still… Very much enjoyed it.” [F/N] reiterated, her voice low as she helped him button up his undershirt. His smile was difficult to ignore, especially so as she helped him retrace the tear he would always paint on his right cheek. 

“...I did, too.” He pulled her closer by the waist, smiling in a devilish, albeit inoffensive manner. He pulled her closer, stealing a deeper kiss as he relished on the taste of her lips, hoping to steal some of her chapstick for himself so he could taste it all throughout his performance. As he pulled away, he whispered quietly to her, fingers playing with the end of her hair. “...Maybe next time we do this, I can have you turned to my mirror. The faces you make are simply delicious, my dear.”

The way [F/N]’s face turned to utter surprise was enough of a reaction, the magician following with a sneaky laugh as he pinched her behind as the cherry on top. In turn, his girlfriend gently slapped his arm, huffing as her cheeks turned bright red, his laughter becoming louder as a result.

“Lyney!” She groaned, nearly turning around from him in embarrassment.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry baby! Mostly.” He chuckled, embracing her before kissing her cheek with the usual level of endearment that was solely reserved for her. 

“Hmph…” She pouted, though both knew it wasn’t something to last long. “...Good luck on your show, honey.”

“After this? It’ll be the best show yet…” He in turn whispered, his forehead resting against her head as they quieted down. “I’ll see you after?”

“I’ll be waiting here.” [F/N] smiled softly, them embracing one another before finally deciding to part.

Well, Lyney had always been energetic in his performances, yet there seemed to be an improvement on that particular one. True to his word, that performance definitely did do amazingly well, becoming the talk of the following weeks.

All thanks to his lucky charm.

[cherubmm]

✖🔪 ⇢ ˗ˏˋ ON MY.Knees࿐ྂ

⊱.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ━━━━FEATURING: CROSS.sans

⊱.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ━━━━CONTENT WARNING: Yandere in general. Soft yandere. Obsessive & Possessive behavior. Unhealthy attachment. Implied neglectful behavior. Established relationship. Delusional mindset. Vague hint of worshipping behavior. Subtly implied abandoment issue. Violence mention. Implied submissive behavior. ANGST. Stalking. OOC. Not proof-read (I got lazy near the end if you can tell)

⊱.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ━━━━PROMPT BY : oozgin

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: why am I keep messing up!?!!?😭😭😭😭 I'm merely editing this on my scheduled post but then it keeps publishing????? Huh?????? Why does the Tumblr keep doing this to me😭😭😭 this is supposed to be for Oct.13!!! But *sigh* whatever, its already here. Enjoy the early treat, again >:(( Hope this won't happen' to another one fic for 14.... Tumblr fuck you :(((

It wasn’t often for Cross to come home.

Well, at least, not anymore. He’d leave before the sun rose, returning long after it set. You used to wait for him, staying up into the late hours of the night, but now? You barely bothered. He’d stumble through the door, mumbling something vague before disappearing into the bedroom or onto the couch without so much as a glance your way.

You understood—you really did. Cross was busy, whatever his job was, it demanded a lot from him. He hadn’t exactly shared the details, and you’d stopped asking after the first dozen times he dodged the question. But no matter how much you tried to rationalize it, it was starting to gnaw at you.

At first, it was just a pang of sadness. Then it became annoyance, maybe even anger. You weren’t one of those cliché lovers who needed constant attention—far from it, actually. You valued your independence, enjoyed your solitude. But this was beginning to feel less like space and more of a...neglect.

He was your lover, wasn’t he? You were supposed to be partners, but lately, it felt like you were the only one holding onto that thread. Every time he came home, he avoided you. No more soft conversations over breakfast, no stolen moments in the afternoon. Just excuses, avoidance, and silence.

The worst part was, you’d started to get used to it. Slowly, your love for him had dimmed, like a flame starved of oxygen. You found yourself becoming comfortable in your own company again, just as you had before Cross ever came into your life. It wasn’t a sudden fall out of love—it was gradual, quiet and subtle. You no longer saw him as your lover, just someone who passed through your life occasionally—acquaintance.

Eventually, you couldn’t do it anymore. The words weighed heavy on your tongue as you prepared yourself, sitting at the edge of the bed. Cross had just come home, dragging his feet, knives still strapped to his side. You waited until he was settled, cleaning his weapons at the table.

“Im breaking up with you.”

...

Cross always thought he was the luckiest skeleton in the entire multiverse.

Of all the infinite versions of himself—sometime's even far, far, better than him—of all the different timelines and universes, he was the one who had found you. He was the one who had you by his side, as beautiful and perfect as you were.

Not even the original version of him—the one from the timeline he could never go back to—had what he did. and that made him feel so special.

Even now, as he wiped the blood from his knives, his mind was filled with thoughts of you. He knew he wasn’t home nearly as much as he should be. Every time he left, there was a pang of guilt that dug deep into his bones. He hated leaving you behind, but what choice does he have? His boss wouldn’t hesitate to come after you if he comes to the conclusion that cross was 'slacking off'' of his work due to his lover. Hell, it was merely a stroke of luck that nightmare decided to not only keep you alive and well, but also provide protection —unbeknownst to you— even knowing his distaste for 'distraction' that attaches to those on his side.

This, of course, was a constant weight on his mind — a sense of indebted. Forcing him to swore his loyalty and obedience to the latter even againts his will. But at least, while he was out there doing Nightmare’s dirty work, you were safe, and that's all that ever matters.

While he couldn’t spend time with you like he wanted to, he could make sure nothing— absolutely nothing—harmed you. The Star Sanses? No threat. Any danger from outside your universe? He handled it.

And on the rare nights he did return? When you were already asleep? Those were slowly becoming his favorite moments. Cross would sit at the edge of the bed or crouch beside you, watching you sleep peacefully. He’d run his fingers through your hair, brushing your cheek, whispering softly to your unconscious form. Confessions of love, of guilt. He’d wish for a world where the two of you could just live a domestic, quiet life—where he didn’t have to kill for survival or settle in the constant state of paranoia— again.

He didn't want the history to repeat itself ever again now that you're here. God, he couldn't even imagine what will happen to him if you're no longer on his side to keep him sane.

But alas, he couldn’t give you that, yet. So, he settled on making you safe instead, hoping you’d understand one day.

...

"Im breaking up with you."

The sound of sharpening knives stopped abruptly. Cross froze, his back still turned to you, as if your words had doused him in cold water. Slowly—almost mechanically—he turned his skull in your direction, his pinprick eye shrinking to a tiny dot before flickering in and out like a dying lightbulb. There was something unsettling about the way he stared at you. For a brief second, his usual stoic expression faltered, a flash of... something. Confusion? Betrayal? Fear? But then, he laughed nervously, trying to play it off as a joke.

"Hahaha... t-that’s a good one, darling. You almost caught me,” he stammered, his grin unnaturally wider than the usual as he tried to shake off the tension.

"I’m not joking, Sans,” you replied, your voice steady despite the unease creeping into your gut.

Y-yeah, sure, whatever you say.” He turned back to his knives, trying to focus on his task, but his hands phalanges trembled.

“Sans, listen to me. I wasn’t—”

CRRK!!

The dagger in his hands broke in half as Cross shot to his feet, staring at the shattered blade as if it had betrayed him. His breathing grew uneven as he slowly turned toward you again, his eye flickering with a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite place.

“Why?” His voice cracked, barely above a whisper as he took a hesitant step forward. You took a step back instinctively. "Why are you saying this...?"

You tried to explain, though the words didn’t come easily. You told him how you felt—how distant things had become, how lonely you were. How the relationship was falling apart and you both are better off no longer being in each other.

But every time you spoke, Cross took another step forward, his hand reaching out as if to grab onto you, and you found yourself taking another step back.

In a blink, he was in front of you, faster than you could process. Then, there was a small 'ping' sound before you felt yourself flung backward, slamming into the nearest wall that knocked the breath from your lungs. His hands gripped your shoulders, hard enough to hurt, as his face hovered inches from yours.

"Oww-! Sans what the fuck—!?"

His bony hands gripped your shoulders tightly, an anchor that pinned you in place. “Just LISTEN to me first darling. You have to understand—” Tears began to stream from his eye sockets, glistening like pearls against his skeletal face. “I DON'T have a choice” he cried, his voice cracking with desperation. “It’s all for you! To make you safe! Please, you NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT!!”

You tried to pull away, but his hold only tightened.

His knees buckled, and you stumbled as he dragged you down with him, his hands still clinging to you like a lifeline.“No, no, please— reconsider!! I-i’ll try to change, I’ll do whatever you want—I’ll beg, I’ll be on my knees forever, just—please?”

Ⓒ𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐦𝐦 ──── 10/11/24 Navigation | Masterlist

[acesofspadess]

Rewind

I definitely published this a bit out of order but bare with me

“Hello Team Niall.” Niall introduced as they all waved and greeted him back. “Well, I've got a bit of news for you. Because of my concert schedule, I actually won't be in town for knockout rehearsals.” Everyone was shocked… and rightfully so. “Because I won't be there, I've chosen another coach to come in and mentor you guys for rehearsal.” Everyone started to freak out wondering who on earth it might be. 

“And they have been in your place before so I think they’ve got exactly what you need.”

The scene changed to the all too familiar practice room with an empty directors chairs. The sounds of steps progressively got louder until the special person appeared. 

“I'M BACK!” 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's rewind a bit.

~~~~~~

A day or two after The Voice Finale

“Hi I’m Maia Quinn, and I'm the Season 23 winner of The Voice, and we're hanging out with Rob on Front Row Live.”

“Go with me.” Niall moaned into your mouth as you straddled him. “Where?” you question kissing down his neck. “Boston. I know it's last minute and we’d leave in the morning-” you shut him up with a kiss and a roll of your hips, his hands tightening against your thighs. “Just wake me up an hour before we leave.”

Sitting at the desk of you and Niall’s shared hotel room the morning of May 26th  you had early interviews to get through before you were meant to go to the festival. You looked over the camera to see Niall already looking at you.

“Maia congratulations. What a night you had a few nights ago.” Rob praised and you smiled adjusting your airpod. “I am super excited for you and your career and your future. Especially because you're starting so young. You have enough time to kind of like, continue to evolve, and understand your voice; learn a lot more about yourself throughout this process. Talk to me about this process of your experience here on the voice and how you've evolved as a vocalist and a performer.” The interview was more than you could ever imagine. 

“Now your relationship with Niall this season has had fans going crazy. From the after performance hugs to the duet, and the after party, what can you tell us about that?”

You saw Nialls face peak over the laptop screen and stayed neutral. “Niall has been the most supportive and very encouraging. He has become one of my best friends through this whole journey. I lost a lot of my confidence during the pandemic unfortunately. It made me think that I would never be able to do things that I certainly could do and Niall- all these years later- has been there to remind me that I probably can do them, and then make me do it. So our friendship and relationship has been so important to me. He is my best friend across the charts and he’d hate me for saying this, but I wouldn't be here without him.” 

“Last question before we go. Is there anything we can look forward to seeing soon? Maybe another EP?”

You smiled glad you were able to share some information on what was coming next. “All I'll say now is, look for me on stage back home.” you winked dramatically knowing those who would get it would get it.”

“That's amazing, I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled. It was so great having you on. I hope to see you in person soon.”

“Bye!” 

``````````````

View comments

User10 i'm actually really happy she won

User2 wait…Slane is in Ireland…..

User6 I just learned she had an EP…. what?!?!?!?

Being at Boston Calling with him

“Boston, Massachusetts, how you doing?” he asked the crowd after he finished ‘Heaven’. The loud response made him smile excitedly. “Holy shit! This is crazy.” you face palmed knowing he was going to slip up sooner or later. “Thank you all so much for coming out to see me. I really appreciate it.” they cheered again as he sipped his water. You watched as he looked at the amount of people and a smile formed on your face.

 “This is uhm- this is actually my first ever Festival.” he let out a breath at the realisation. “I've definitely been drunk at a few.” you laughed at him with the rest of the crowd. “But I've never played at any and for that reason I'm absolutely shitting myself.” he said looking at you knowing you would calm him, and him seeing you laugh did just the trick. 

“But thank you for being here. I know some of you guys have been queuing for years.” he looked around at the signs “My girlfriend showed me this earlier ‘i travelled four thousand miles to be here from Brazil’ your eyes went wide at the declaration and the deafening screams were present. He subtly looked in your direction and saw your reaction, his worry diminished as he saw you smiling making him smile. “Makes you feel bad from coming just down the road doesn't it? ‘I came from round New York’.” he mocked, “awe who cares.” he laughed with them and you hid a big smile behind your hands. 

~~~~

You walked the same route you came flashing your pass when you reached the gate and made your way in to see Niall. When you saw him you squealed and ran over to him. He turned when he heard you and caught you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist and he spun you both around hands on the swell of your bum.

“I'm so proud of you!” you screamed and he laughed before he was kissing you passionately. It was quick as many more pecks through giggles followed. “I can not explain to you how happy i am.” he whispered in shock as you were sitting in the trailer behind the stage and he was getting changed. “You should be so happy, my love. That was incredible, and I am so so proud of you.” he smiled at you before grabbing your hand and kissing the ring on it. “You make me so happy, baby girl.” you melted at his words and stood up to kiss him softly. “And you make me the happiest girl, Ni.”

You surprising Niall at his Zane Lowe interview and him outing you 

You knew Niall was disappointed when you told him you wouldn't be able to make it to his Zane Lowe interview today. He was really excited for this one and wanted you to be there. It was only a few days later that you flew from Boston down to LA for the interview. You were working on last minute stuff for the announcement today and you were nowhere close to done when he was getting ready to leave.

“I'm sorry love.” you kissed his pout away as you both stood by the door of his  LA house. “I know, it’s okay. I know why you can’t make it, and for that I am so very proud.” he melted his lips against yours as your hands went to the curls on the back of his neck and he wrapped his went straight to your bum.

~~~

Niall was watching Zane play his songs and the guitar with a big smile a few hours after he left. “There are some pretty songs on this record bro.” Zane complimented as he switched playing from ‘The Show’ to ‘You could start a cult’. You who had just made it into the studio to surprise Niall were standing behind the glass watching him, waiting for him to notice. 

“Thank you very much.'' He cut through Zanes music. “This one kills me.” Zane admitted as Niall caught on to what he was playing. “Yeah.” he cheered Zane on softly, finally noticing you. You saw his smile widened and you waved softly. “You Could Start A Cult.” he named distractedly, still looking at you as if he looked away you would disappear. 

~~~

“Kingdoms fighting over you,” Niall continued. “I think that like they’re the ones- that could have very easily been, ‘ i like waking up beside you and you're my favourite person.” he joked easily. “But ‘you could start a war’.” you shook your head at his lyrical genius. “Do you ever crack yourself up with it?”

‘Yeah it was something silly at first but now everyone's obsessed with it. It started with me and my girlfriend now, when we met we would watch crime shows together over facetime,” he exposed and you chuckled at his laugh.

‘You say girlfriend now, sorry if i'm over stepping but..” zane trailed off

“No,” he shrugged off looking at you, who nodded, “she was not my girlfriend at the time, she is now, is what that meant.”

“So did she not know the song was for her?”

“She didn't know any song was for her- or about her I should say. The road from when we met to now has been a very dark windy tunnel, but we made it to the other end.”

“That's beautiful Niall, truly.” You smiled at him agreeing with Zane.

“This was the last song on the record that we wrote.” Niall confessed, and you wondered why. “Why, what was missing?” and without hesitation he pointed to you, “her.” Zane looked to where he was pointing and you waved happily at him. He waved back to you just as happy before turning to Niall with a face of shock. “No?” he gasped and Niall laughed, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I know. Way out of my league.” he watched you shake your head with an eye roll and he couldn't stop the smile from gracing his face.

“I could’ve gone and did what I did with the rest of the record and put BV’s all over it and strings and that was my plan - and John just said to me- because we we were not talking at the time…” he pointed between you and him, “...this is your message to,” he paused, ‘“ her’ keep it that way. Just you and your guitar and your feelings.”

And while there's much much more… you’ll see that soon

[shinkaeru]

In Another Universe...

Andrew Marston × Reader (gender neutral!reader)

✪ What if you didn't give Andrew an answer after you and him broke up? (2.9k words)

A/N: I haven't written anything for 2 yrs so writing this was experimental for me. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did!

×××

A few years have passed since you graduated from university, you were already working as a book editor in a well-known book publishing house in London and earning a salary good enough to live independently. 

Lately, all you‘ve ever thought about was work, work, and more work, to the point you might've just grown a few more gray hairs from all the stress and sleepless nights. You've always focused on finishing all your projects first before anything else, only because you didn't have anything else to do.

“She goes back to the place where her lover once promised to see her. As hours went by, nobody came to find her, leaving her in distraught. She realizes in the universe she woke up to, her lover's fate led up to something else.” You read out loud as you write down corrections and suggestions of your client's manuscript of their book.

While you are scribbling away, engrossed by what you're doing, you hear your phone buzz causing you to glance at it for a brief moment. Out of curiosity, you decide to pick it up to see what it is—It turns out to be a text from your former classmate at university. 

“Hey! It's been a while. Do you wanna come hangout with us this Saturday night?” The text says. 

You take a sip of coffee, thinking to yourself: Do I still have time for this? It's not like I have anything scheduled for the weekend. You lean back on your chair, resting a hand on your chin. I guess I can afford taking a break for once. 

“Yeah sure! Where and what time do we meet?” You hit send and waited for your friend to respond. 

Besides, it wouldn't hurt to meet up with your friends from university after so long. Man though, has it really been 3 years already since we graduated? You thought to yourself. 

It seems ever since you graduated, you never looked back from your past and continued pursuing your personal endeavors. 

As you are about to set your phone down on the desk, your phone buzzes once more. 

“Let's meet up at 6pm yeah? I'll send you the location in a bit. Seeya!”

× 

It's exactly six 'o'clock in the evening, you've arrived at the bar your friends have planned to meet up at. As you walk inside, you hear smooth jazz music playing faintly while crowds of people mingle and chat. 

You look around the place, hoping to spot at least one or two of your friends already sitting down with a drink in their hand. Going to such social places as bars like this was considered a rare occasion for you since the last time you’ve ever been to one was when you were in your first year at university. The thought of trying to talk to strangers was nerve-wracking enough for you that it makes you wish you’d be home in isolation until now. 

As you are about to approach the very corner of the bar, you hear your friend���s voice calling your name on the other side of the bar. 

“I’m not late, am I?” I asked as I sat next to my friend while she pulled a pail filled with bottles of beer. 

“Not at all, all of us just arrived.” My friend hands me over the drink while two of our friends were talking about a different topic. She sips on her beer then pulls me into a welcoming hug, calling me by my old nickname. “Pea, it’s been like ages since all of us last saw you! I missed you so much.”  

“Yeah, we haven’t even heard from you that much either. You don’t really go online nowadays.” He adds.  

“I’ve just been caught up with work really.” You respond, taking a sip of the liquor from your glass. “How about you Coconut Man? How have you been?” A chuckle escapes from your lips as the memory of how you and your friends got their nicknames, which was from a Jessie J song that was stuck in your head at one point. 

“I flew back here to get my master's degree in literature. Decided one day that I kinda wanna venture into teaching it too, you know?” He shakes his head with a smile plastered on his face. “Moonhead here was talking earlier about getting into Journalism.” To which, they shrugged off his remarks and laughed. 

“I mean, yeah. I got into this job where we write articles about other musicians, music reviews, live concerts—music journalism basically.” They sip on their drink. “So far, it’s been fun. Sometimes, we even get free tickets to like, music festivals and shit.” 

“You two certainly have something interesting going on with your lives, huh?” You smiled, feeling genuinely happy that your friends have achieved the goals that they have worked hard for all these years.  

“Oh! I also have some news to share!” She gleams with excitement as she tries to hold the grin on her face. “My boyfriend and I just got engaged this week.” She showed the ring on her finger, making everyone at our table cheer while I clapped along to her announcement. 

“Wow, you’re getting married already? Congratulations!” You greet your friend, which made you realize for a moment that you were finally at the time of your life when your friends would get married to their partners. Holy shit, am I really getting that old? You thought to yourself. You could even say you could feel your bones cracking just from the thought. 

“Honestly, that’s one of the reasons why I invited you guys here. My partner and I were already planning out on who we’ll be inviting to our wedding, so I thought about you three.” She sighs. “We’ve all just...grown apart since we graduated. We should all at least hang out some time again.” 

Moonhead adjusts their position from their seat. “You know what speaking of wanting to teach, Pea, have you ever gotten the chance to speak to Professor Marston yet after the uh...whole thing going on between the two of you?” 

Your heart sinks as the thought crosses your mind. Ever since the night Andrew went to your place to address the situation at hand, you haven’t given him an answer out of concern for his career and reputation. You’ve kept your distance since you’ve graduated, which pains you deeply. 

“I haven’t had any news about Andrew to be honest,” You shrug. This information puts your friends in disbelief, which you find a bit amusing. They’ve always supported your relationship with Andrew during those first few months and defended you when rumors started to spread around campus. 

“You...you don’t talk to him anymore?” Her gleeful expression turns serious. “No greetings, no updates, nothing at all?” 

“Well, I still have his number and his email address, but I haven’t reached out to him since his classes ended.” You reply. “Besides you know how he is, he doesn’t really have any social media presence so haven’t heard anything about him since." 

“Both of you did come to terms, right?” He asks, to which you nod in response. “Damn, I thought you guys would be endgame you know? That kinda sucks.” 

“Right? Like, we’ve seen the way he looks at you and it was clear as day that he’s just smitten over you.” She lets out a sigh. “Well, as they always say: there’s plenty of fish in the sea.” 

As minutes passed, you and your friends continued talking about the memories you all shared during university and all the things they experienced after we graduated. Sipping halfway on your second bottle of beer, you feel yourself slowly spacing out, struggling to engage in your friends’ conversation. You aren’t drunk but you are aware enough to be tipsy. 

You look around the bar, seeing people clanking their drinks and laughing away through the night couples with their hands intertwined to each other. Despite reuniting with your friends, clearly, you’re starting to realize that this is getting boring and the idea of going home early sounds like a good idea. 

“Pea!” You snap out of your thoughts as you hear your friend call your name. 

“Huh?” 

“Are you okay? You look out of it.” Moonhead says. You nod your head, trying to think of an excuse to get some time for yourself for just a moment. 

“I need to go to the restroom for a moment…” You stand up and placed your drink down at the table. “…excuse me.” 

As you got to the bar’s restroom, you shut the door and took a breather on the sink. The more you stay inside the cozy restroom by the minute, the more you start to consider that going home is the best option.  

You let out a sigh, thinking if going home would be a good idea, especially since it has only been an hour since you arrived. 

After a moment of contemplating and pacing, you decide to stay for a few more minutes so that leaving wouldn’t feel awkward. 

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” You thought to yourself out loud then unlocked the door open. 

While you were about to approach your friends’ table, you heard a distinct voice coming from the bar’s counter. 

“A glass of whiskey please,” he says. You turn to see a familiar figure sitting near the counter isolated from the buzzing people. His hair fixed properly, his glasses reflecting the warm lights in the room, his attire styled in a particular manner… 

No—it cannot be who I think it is, is it? You thought to yourself.  

As you come closer, you feel your heartbeat beating every step you take. 

“Andrew?” 

He turns around and looks at me, his gaze softens at you. “It’s you.” 

You end up cracking a smile as waves of different emotions washed over you. “May I sit?”  

“Please,” He gestures, making me sit beside him while he sips on his drink. “Would you like a drink?” 

“No, I think I’ve had enough alcohol for tonight.” I chuckle while he does the same. “It’s…It’s been a while,” 

Andrew nods before taking another sip. “It has.” He puts his glass down. “Well, this is an unexpected kind of setting for us to see each other again.” 

“Yeah.” You start to fidget your hands as you feel your palms start to sweat. “You come here often?” You ask. 

“Oh no, it’s my first time being here so I decided to come here by myself.” He takes the last sip of his drink and sets aside the empty glass.

Worried that I might be interfering, I hesitantly ask...“Did you bring someone with you?”

“No, it's just me.” He chuckles. “I should be asking you the same thing, what brings you here?”

“My friends invited me here to catch up and chat.” You shrug to which Andrew nods in response.

“Friends from university?”

“Yeah actually,” You glance at your friends' table, looking unfazed by your disappearance as they laugh on their seats.

“It's good to know that you still keep in touch with them,” Andrew watches them along with you.

Should I say how I feel?

The thoughts inside your head go back and forth, contemplating whether talking about the night he last visited your place was worth mentioning.

Andrew notices the confused look on your face, making him concerned. “Is something on your mind?”

“There is, actually,” You respond immediately, deciding not to hold back. Andrew's expression became serious.

“What's on your mind?” Andrew asks.

Before you could respond to Andrew, you notice your friends watching over us with grins plastered on their faces. They mouth “Go” and “We'll be fine” gesturing to go for it.

“Would you like to talk about it somewhere private?” As Andrew was about to face your friends' direction, they immediately turn away and hid themselves with muffled laughs.

“Sure,” We both got up from our seats and headed our way towards the bar's exit.

As you and Andrew got out of the place, both of you walked further away from the bar to be somewhere quiet.

Andrew stands across from you as he waits patiently for you to speak.

You let out a sigh. “I'm sorry if this is a bad time but...”

“No, this isn't a bad time at all.” Andrew shakes his head as he steps closer. “Take your time.”

“I never got to reach out to you since I left.”

“I already told you I will always support you whatever decision you choose.”

“It's not that, Andrew...” Your voice starts to tremble as your emotions start to hit you like a truck. “I never got to tell you because I didn't want to be a burden to your job as a professor. I understand what that means to you, and...” Before you could continue your sentence, tears form from your eyes trickling down to your cheeks.

“You are never a burden to me,” Andrew shushes as he pulls you into his arms, causing you to cry even more. “I don't regret the things we have done in the past, and I certainly don't regret choosing to love you.” He pulls away, cupping your face to wipe your tears from your cheeks

“I'm sorry,” You let out a chuckle as your lips quiver. You have always reenacted in your head what it would be like meeting Andrew when you get the chance, crying in front of him was definitely not what you had in mind.

Andrew pulls you back into his arms while your emotions kept overflowing. Both of you stay that way, feeling a sense of comfort enveloped by his warmth despite the cold breeze. The memories you used to share with him are coming back to you.

“Feeling better?” Andrew asks.

“Mhm,” You pull away from him as you start to collect yourself. “I didn't mean to soak your coat with my tears.”

Andrew chuckles. “No need to feel ashamed,”

“Okay,” You take a deep breath, finding the words you've been wanting to say. “I thought that once that I graduate from university, I would move on and find someone else that gave me the same feeling that I had with you. I waited for weeks, months, hoping that it would happen one day but…” you look into his eyes, almost getting lost in them. “…At the end of the day, everything always comes back to you.”

“Darling…”

“I still want you, Andrew.” You declare, shaking your head as you crack a smile. “After all these years, it's still you that I long for.”

Andrew stands still speechless, his gaze still focused on yours. The way he's looking at you makes you reminisce of that day—that day when he first kissed you, when he shared those moments with you back in his office, when he gave himself in to hold your hand, everything—it all comes back to you that you immediately look away as you start to feel overwhelmed.

“I apologize for being too forward,” You look down on your shoes. “I thought it would be a better time to give you, both of us, closure than saying nothing at all.”

Andrew intertwines his hand to yours, making your heartbeat rise rapidly.

“Darling,” he gently squeezes your hand as your calm demeanor tarnishes in an instant. “Look at me…”

As a sob escapes from your lips, you follow his request. Andrew comes closer to the point you can feel his breath on yours, lifting your chin with his thumb.

And before you knew it, Andrew leans in as he presses his lips to yours. The spark you thought once lost ignites like a burning flame. You kiss back, sharing your warmth with his. It almost feels as if nothing has changed at all. The ache you felt all those years of longing seem to have washed away by the minute.

As both of you pull away, Andrew looks at you once more. His gaze radiating love and comfort. You suddenly don't even remember how to speak, making Andrew grin as he fixes your hair.

“I never stopped loving you, and frankly, I never will.” Andrew kisses your hand that's still intertwined with his. "I meant it when I said I've never felt like this with anyone until I met you." You start to tear up again as his words felt like a tug to your heartstrings.

“Do you think…do you think we can still figure things out? Together?” You've become completely vulnerable towards him. Normally the thought of yourself begging (or asking for that matter) for someone cringes you, yet here you are doing it anywag. You already prepared yourself for the worst, so you held your breath.

Andrew notices your hesitation and holds both of your hands. “We will, together.” I wrap my arms around him, feeling like my heart was about to come out of my chest.

“I missed you…so much.” You confess, making Andrew chuckle at the sight of you.

“I'm here now,” he kisses your forehead and smiles. “And I'm not going anywhere.” Both of you slightly sway as your arms were wrapped around each other's bodies.

A thought comes to your head, giving you a chuckle. “I wonder how crazy it would be what our relationship would be like if we were in the alternate universe,”

Andrew laughs at the idea you gave. “If there ever was an alternate universe, I suppose whatever path we take, it is inevitable for both of us to be together.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm, I do.”

×××

[louroth]

Hello hello everybody! It is time for another months progress, and I am so excited to share with you, all the things I have gotten my grimy little gremlin hands on. First off, what we are all here for; writing. I have been on fire, to be honest! Last month I churned through the last of the first batch of erotica stories (there's 6 (!!!) of them on my patreon already) and set them up for publishing along with two more unseen ones- I'm still going over the logistics of where to publish for the best revenue (I know this sounds boring, but I have to make an income somehow, and hopefully find another audience as a smut writer on other platforms 💀 I love writing it so why not!), and I am making headway, learning the ins and outs of self publishing. On patreon, there are also two Q&A's that are written in a bit more fictional manner, in character: a more fun way than just writing answers straight up and down. I have enjoyed those so much! There's a bunch of other stuff I haven't even mentioned- honestly, I have to say, I'm really proud of my output on Patreon even though I have been really anxious about writing full time. It's going great! I have to thank my new friends and support-network on discord; you make this all worth it. I cannot express how fun it is to shoot the shit with you in vc, gaming together, or seeing your shenanigans in gen or your in depth theories (thanks for the brainworms!) or memes or staring longingly at the fanfic channel or drooling over your art (ouro related or not) or... Gah. You are just amazing people, and I will waste no opportunity in saying so. Thank you forever and ever and ever an-

When it comes to OUROBOROS, I am happy to announce that the next chapter is damn near done! I was halted because of the discovery that dashingdon is no longer supported by it's creator, and have been working on the twine version ever since, earlier than I expected- it's tough work, but I am so excited to make this an actual game made entirely by myself, and not submitting to a company that quite frankly leaves a bitter aftertaste. It is taking long to make because I want to make it mobile compatible from the start, which there isn't a lot of resources for. But I'm doing my best! The plan is that I will be posting the next chapter for Patreons in the coming month, and then treat you to a full twine release here on tumblr. I haven't made any rewrites when porting the twine build, but I would like to do that too... so we will see; this plan is not set in stone. I will just have to see how it evolves over the next month. Yes, beta-readers is still on the schedule, just holding off a little while while I wrap my head around this new coding landscape.

Other than that, I have been working on the set aesthetic for ouro, which has been really hard, a lot harder than I expected. You all know I am no wizard when it comes to graphic design, but I want to at least develop a set palette and imagery and portraits that is cohesive to the story. The work is ongoing, and I don't have much to say about it- even though it is taking a lot of my brain power. I'm hoping I can come to some kind of set and in depth conclusion that I am happy with before the twine release, because I want the game to feel like a treat to open up and play; a world to get lost in.

That's it! If you want to see weekly and more in depth dev-logs, you know where to go. I hope you have an amazing day or night, and we will see each other soon. xx

[littleadaline]

Hold Me [P.G8]

Warnings: academic overwhelm, reader isn’t coping well with the stress, Pedri being a (hopefully) helpful partner. Fluuuuuff ✨

A/N: wrote this during my midterms, basically how I felt going through the sleepless nights of studying, keep in mind I have ✨ADHD✨, so my retention can often be resumed to….shit 😽😽

A/N (again): I’m publishing this at 1:12 AM, clearly shouldn’t, but I’ve been too eager lmaoo. Um.. I haven’t written in a year or two, so bear with me. I’ll try to post on a somewhat regular basis, but being a Uni student, my schedule is a bit hectic. Love 😽

———————————————————————

Everything felt dull. The birds had stopped singing, the sky wasn’t as bright, the wind was colder. You huffed as you woke up, not ready to go through another day of this. Pedri had already left for training, leaving you alone in the flat. You sighed, turning over to grab your phone, chuckling as you saw the messages he had sent you while you were asleep.

[Mi amor:]

Thinking of you 😘 Good luck with studying today! I’ll grab us food on the way back xx

You answer his message before making your way to the bathroom, ready to get on with your day. As you take a quick glance in the mirror, you can’t help but notice your sulked face, your tired eyes from hours of staring at your computer, tirelessly trying to understand the concept of your class. You were currently studying for your finals, something that had been consuming your entire life, barely leaving space for extracurricular activities or just, breathing. Pedri had noticed the toll it had taken on you, on your couple, seeing your date nights pushed aside for a quick study attempt. You couldn’t lie, some days you had regretted pursuing a higher education degree. A notification from your phone pulled you away from your thoughts.

[Mi amor:]

Training is done, but I’m gonna go out with the boys for a bit. I should be back in 3 hours. Are you in the mood for a poke bowl, cariño?

You let him know before heading to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. As you bit through your toast, you glanced around the room. Your books and textbooks were splattered across the dining table, your pencils scattered around the room, either having fell down the table or thrown in a fit of rage. You sighed, putting down your coffee mug on the table. You knew you had to clean up your mess, not wanting Pedri to see the flat in this state. But something was preventing you from picking up your books, your scattered pencils, and the hundreds-if not thousands of Post It’s on the floor. In an attempt to pump yourself up, you sat down on the dinner table, a twinkle of hope in your eyes. You opened up your computer, your eyes glancing at the revision document. Word after word, after word, after word. Your brain barely read out the sentences, before you felt a ball in your throat, a feeling of helplessness overcoming you. Overwhelmed, you sat down on the cold floor of the flat, defeated. Why? “Why can’t I pick up after myself? Why am I so shut down?”, you muttered to yourself. You were nervously playing with the hem of your sweater, clenching and unclenching your fists, your breathing rapidly increasing. You found yourself overwhelmed; by the repetitive clinging of the washing machine you had previously started, the neighbours’ crying baby, the children playing in the park below the apartment. Everything felt too bright, too loud, too much. Exhausted, you let the tears out, longing for some sort of relief, more emotional than physical. You rolled yourself into a ball, sobs hidden by the noise of your neighbourhood.

Outside this flat, no one knew about the mental exhaustion you had pushed yourself to. The restless nights, staring at the ceiling while Pedri snored peacefully next to you; the times you silently cried in the shower as your soul broke from the pressure. There was no denying it, the academic pressure had broken your soul, left it torn into shreds, your confidence down the drain. Between the sobs, you didn’t hear the front door open. You quickly wiped down the tears before scurrying to the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

“Cariño, I’m home!”, a soft knock came from the door. You sniffled, rather loudly. “Is everything alright?”, his voice grew concerned.

You looked in the mirror, your eyes widening in horror as you saw how red they were. “Shit, shit shit,” you said dabbing some cold water around your eyes. Pedri knocked a second time, harder. “Open the door please, I’m concerned about you.”

Left without a choice, you reluctantly opened the door. Pedri was standing there, his figure towering over you, his eyebrows were knitted in worry, his lips slightly agape. His hair was slightly stuck to his forehead, most probably due to the sweat from training.

“Nena, what’s going on? Did something happen?”, he said as he took your hand and led you out of the bathroom. “C’mere.”

Settling down on the couch, your body over his, you closed your eyes; for fear of breaking down in front of him. You felt one hand settle on your back, while the other settled on top of your head. In an attempt to soothe you, he began stroking your back. You felt your body relax to his touch, your worries melting away into nothingness. Pedri was your anchor, in all the aspects possible. Whenever you were sick, or tired, overwhelmed or angry, you knew you could find solace in his arms. You don’t remember what exactly happened after sitting on the couch, but you woke up to a different scenery. The sun had set down, leaving Barcelona enveloped by a cold darkness. The apartment had been tidied up, windows closed, blinds drawn, your books neatly packed on the bookshelf, your Post It’s picked up from the floor, your pencils back into their container. All the lights were turned off, the only source of luminosity being the candle Pedri had lit up in the kitchen; almond vanilla, your favorite. Confused, you sat up.

“Pepi?”, you said, rubbing the sleep off from your eyes.

Footsteps made you turn around, a freshly showered Pedri looking at you. You saw him disappear into the bathroom before coming back out again, fully dressed and dried up. Before you were able to say anything, he sat down on the spot next to yours. His hand found yours as he fiddled with your fingers.

“Nena…I think I know what’s going on with you.”, he started.

You held your breath, afraid to hear the truth coming out of his mouth, a truth you had tried so hard to suppress and deny.

“You’ve overworked yourself, haven’t you?”, he said, lovingly stroking your hair. “You’d think all this tossing and turning at night would go unnoticed?”, he chuckled. “I have taken into account how you started biting your nails again, how little time you have to rest. Your water bottle is always sitting empty, unless I refill it for you. The snack basket’s content hasn’t moved either, unless I break your study trance and feed you. You are sitting in front of your computer every waking second you get. I’m worried about you, and your mental health.”, he said in one breath. Pedri was right. Your day was filled with dread, to have to spend hour after hour trying to memorize concepts for your degree, your mind feeling like a hole-filled sponge, never able to retain anything. Exhausted, you let the dam break. Your shoulders shaking with sobs, soaking Pedri’s shirt as well. Pedri tightened his hold on you, bringing you closer to his chest.

“You won’t go through this alone. With the upcoming international break and my injury, I will be home for the next week and a half. I have also booked you an appointment with a therapist, so you can establish coping mechanisms together… also to talk it out. And after all of this is over, I booked us a flight to your hometown.”

You looked at him in confusion.

“I think being away from your family isn’t helping you much either,” he let out. “You’ve been in Barcelona barely a year, and I believe a part of your soul is still in your hometown. I believe the beach and your grandmothers’ cooking is exactly what you need in order to come back stronger.” He said, kissing the top of your head.

You didn’t know what to say, nor how to thank him. Unable to say anything, you just let yourself crawl onto him, your head peacefully resting on his shoulder. His body wash -a mixture of sweet and spice- filled up your nostrils, as you hummed in peace. You would always be grateful for the day Pedri appeared in your life. The relationship you had built was one out of fairytales, a story of love and resilience, considering you had survived doing long distance in the early stages. You balanced out each other in more ways you could think of.

“I love you”, was the only thing you mustered up to say.

“Te quiero también, nena.” He said, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

WIP Wednesday!

Thank you to @getmehighonmagic for tagging me early this week so that I could schedule this post! If you're reading this, it means it's past midnight for me and I'm happily snoozing away (hopefully).

I'm going to share what I'm hoping will be one last snippet from my lake house 5+1 in movie verse, in which Alex & Henry make good on Alex's offer for them to come back to the lake house, have sex anywhere on the property they want, and walk through Austin holding hands. This will hopefully be the last you hear from this fic until it's published and out there in the world, because I can hardly bear to keep it from y'all any longer! From the +1 portion of the fic, that I just did a quick reread of and am wildly proud of my muse for finding her way out of the dark to write this recently:

Several couples walk past them in the opposite direction, all with the same idea on how to spend a perfect summer day with the person that they love. Alex’s fingers physically ache from their need to slot into place in the grooves between Henry’s, but something holds him back. A memory from a time long passed. The stretch and pull of Henry’s hand from his grip, just before a plunge into the lake with the most important word he’d ever hoped to say still hanging from the tip of his tongue. He’d swallowed it back down, pushing the rising bile in his throat with it, until it came rushing back in a torrent of rainwater and a flood of frustration.

Hoping no one has tagged me while I've been asleep! If so, I'll totally adjust my tags when I awaken from my slumber. Until then, throwing no pressure tags out there for:

@adreamareads @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @barbiediaz @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @daisymae-12 @duchessdepolignaca03 @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable @guillermosfamiliar @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indomitable-love @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @lfg1986-2 @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @msmarvelouswinchester @mulderscully @ninzied @notspecialbabe @onthewaytosomewhere @priincebutt @rockyroadkylers @ships-to-sail @songliili @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @suseagull04 @theprinceandagcd @thinkof-england @tintagel-or-cockleshells @typicalopposite @user-anakin @vanillahigh00 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew @zwiazdziarka

[edutainer2022]

UNREQUITED

Co-written with @janetm74

As you may remember, there's a series of pieces on Scott and Kayo being idiots shadow-dancing with some complicated feelings and inhibitions, and baggage, that came to pass due to the incredible contribution of the amazing @janetm74. And now it's taking a more coherent shape as a uniform story! Some chapters you've seen already, some have never been published. There are no words to express how excited and grateful I am it's happening and moving forward (albeit in an angsty direction, so far).

The whole story as it progresses is now up on AO3.

Previous bits in order can be found here:

Ch 1 (blue like she'd never known)

Ch 2

Ch 3 (hurt like this)

Ch 4

CHAPTER 5

(accustomed to misfit)

It was extremely rare that they sparred. Virgil preferred heavy lifting to tatami for keeping his field game up. But he specifically requested a training session for that morning. It was her job to keep them all in shape and defense-ready, among other things. Although, she had a pretty good idea Virgil's motives were far from pure. Just like his poker face was far from perfect.

She flew in late the night before. Technically, the next day was her personal downtime, but she didn't feel comfortable leaving the island unattended for the night. Leaving them all unprotected. Leaving HIM alone with the shadows.

The date was nice. Wayne was nice. She really enjoyed his company. When not stuck up by regulations - his jokes were half decent. He had field stories in abundance she soaked in like a sponge - chases, investigations, cover-ops. He saw her interest and delivered. Wayne SAW her. She let the kiss last. They agreed on a second date, their respective schedules permitting.

She half-expected, half-dreaded to walk in on the Commander pulling an all-nighter with reports. Maybe half-hoped too, just a little. She didn't know what she'd see in his eyes. The exuberant enthusiasm he'd displayed so far made her blood run cold and her heart keen. But the dark lounge was empty.

She curled in a ball in the scolding shower, once in her room, and bawled her eyes out, like a love-sick little girl she'd never been. Not exactly a reaction she'd expect after the first decent date she'd had since college. It wasn't fair to Wayne. It wasn't fair to herself. Unrequited love wasn't ever fair. So she promised herself she wouldn't BE that girl. EVER.

And now she was sparring with Virgil. Sweetest, kindest Virgil, who cared for her. Who wanted what was best for her, like they all did. She made no mistake - Virgil cared for her, but he loved his big brother like he was air. She understood the feeling. That's why she agreed to a second date with Wayne. To allow herself no way back.

"Do you like Rigby?"

She was atacking, Virgil was parrying. She was backing him into a corner, but it felt the other way around. She doubled down on speed and force.

"He's okay."

"You deserve more than okay, Kayo."

Virgil danced away from her reach and left her in the corner, all of a sudden. She saw red. Unforgivable, as his trainer. Understandable, as his sister. If only Virgil knew, what he was saying!

"Is that so?"

Cross-cut, block, block. She took a swing, Virgil evaded.

"What DO I deserve, then? To be invisible?"

Another swing. Undercut.

"To be a shadow?!"

Roundhouse kick.

"To never be loved back?!!"

She was breathless from shouting, or from exhaustion. Virgil stopped at some point, not heeding the hits she was raining, but Kayo didn't even notice. Strong, safe arms closed the embrace, while she was still raging and raving, and just held her. The shooshing noises enveloped her senses as there was no more voice left in her tears. Kayo broke her own promise and wept.

[metalnecklace]

Outpace The Dawn

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader (plus size)

Words: 6968

Warnings: Discussion of violence, Discussion of death, Slight knife play, Threats of violence, Reader is slightly kidnapped?, Joel has kinda kidnapped her (you’ll see), Very loose plot, Use of (Y/N), Unprotected sex (mdni) (wrap it up, folks), Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Reader is tied up, P in v sex, Slight choking, Hair pulling, Cock warming, Soft dom!Joel, Raider!reader

Notes: I don’t even know what happened. This was supposed to be short and dirty, and it turned into this. Takes place shortly after season 1. Plot is suuuper loose here, I got very carried away with an idea I had and this is what came of it. Also I am going to be just publishing whenever I’m done writing so I’m no longer working on a schedule but I do have some stuff lined up that I’m almost finished! Thanks to everyone who keeps reading, if you wanna be tagged let me know!

Summary: Raider!Reader is on the run, turns out she finds even more danger ahead.

Masterlist

The air was sharp as my lungs expanded over and over again. My feet were pounding against the ground, the staccato crunch of the fall leaves reaching my ears every few steps. I was afraid. Terrified. The roaring in my ears wouldn’t settle enough for me to listen for anyone following me, but I couldn’t chance slowing down.

Soon enough I came across a broken down cabin. It was small, unassuming, and nestled in amongst some trees. It would have to do.

I glanced around me, taking in my surroundings, and didn’t see anybody lurking in the shadows. The last thing I needed was to be followed and pinned down in such a tight spot. Luckily I couldn’t see anybody.

My legs felt like jelly after running for so long, but the thought of being able to rest pulled me toward the door of the cabin. I lifted my hand to push the door open but froze when another larger hand clapped over my mouth. My immediate scream was muffled and as I tried to break free an arm wrapped around my arms, pinning them to my middle. I was pushed through the door, my captor still holding tight, and I thrashed the entire way over to a wooden chair in the middle of the room.

“Hold still!” A voice grumbled behind me, the gruffness reminding me of smoothing my palms over the rough edges of rocks by the seaside. Just like his voice, his hands weren’t gentle as they pushed me down onto the chair and whipped a rope around me with incredible swiftness.

I pulled and tugged but my arms were trapped against the chair. The voice grunted as the ropes pulled once more, tying me completely to my seat.

“You put up quite a good fight.” Boots thudded heavily on the ground as my captor paced slowly behind me, making me wonder how he snuck up on me. They stopped. “Where you from?”

I chewed my bottom lip and closed my eyes, hoping I would be given a swift ending.

“Not wantin’ to talk?” I heard his footsteps pick up again, matching the pounding of my heart. He was walking beside me, then stopped again. Goosebumps erupted over my skin as I felt him lean closer, his breath fanning out across my neck. When his voice came again it was right beside my ear. “Don’t worry, I know how to help you get over this… shyness.” The last word was whispered and sent a shiver, ice cold, down my spine.

I opened my eyes when the scrape of a chair assaulted my eardrums. The man was towering over me as he pulled a second wooden seat across the floor. It came to a stop directly in front of me, and he swung his leg over and sat down with his arms folded along the back. My breath hitched in my throat when his dark eyes landed on me.

He was beautiful, in the strangest way. Before then I couldn’t imagine myself admiring not only a man who kidnapped me and tied me to a chair, but also a man like that. He was definitely older than me, the salt and pepper streaking through bits of his hair and beard. His frame was broad and took up my entire line of vision so all I could focus on was him. Scars littered his knuckles, and a few were etched on his face, but his lips looked so soft. It was like there was an underlying gentleness that cracked through his rough exterior in certain parts.

“Let’s try this again,” he spoke so calmly it was unnerving. “Where did you come from?”

“I c-can’t tell y-you,” I stuttered. My voice felt rougher after I had run for so long, the crisper air dragging over my vocal cords. “P-please, I really can’t.”

He sighed, shaking his head while looking me up and down. “Well you couldn’t have come from very far with the way you were runnin’.”

I furrowed my brow, offense taking over my fear. “What do you mean by that?”

He stood up, walking over to a bag on the floor before kneeling down. “You were runnin’ pretty fast out there, figured whatever you were runnin’ from was pretty scary, adrenaline would’ve probably run out by now if you were any further.”

“I can run pretty fast, for quite a while, too. I know I don’t look like much,” I said, following his form closely. I couldn’t see what he was getting.

He turned his head to look at me, confusion clear on his face.

“I just mean that not a lot of people expect speed or agility from someone built like me, is all.”

“I don’t care about that,” he grunted, turning back to his actions. “It’s none of my business what you are or aren’t capable of. I just meant that you didn’t look like you had been runnin’ for that long.”

“Oh.” Embarrassment clutched at my stomach, as a blush started to form on my cheeks. “Sorry, it’s just second nature to be defensive, especially around men.”

He stood and faced me with a look of disbelief before placing what looked like a tool belt filled with knives of different sizes down on the floor beside my chair. With a huff he resumed his position in front of me, and studied my face for a moment. The fear that had briefly hidden came rushing back, and I once again found myself trembling in front of him. I laid my eyes on his, trying to find that softness again, but found something else.

“You look f-familiar,” I said, my voice wavering no matter how much I tried to stay calm.

“Not sure where you’d’ve seen me before, sweetheart.” He leaned back a bit, then bent down to pick up one of his knives. It was a smaller one, dwarfed in his palms with his fingers wrapping around it easily. “I use these to carve wood. A new pastime of mine. They’re pretty good at making small cuts, delicate lines. I’m sure they’d be good for carvin’ up somethin’’ else.”

I gulped, causing a smirk to grow on his face. “Please.”

“If these don’t work, though, I do have other ways of gettin’ you to talk.” He looked up, fear racing down my spine at how calmly he spoke about torture. “I don’t even need these tools. Most of the damage I’ve done to a person has been with my bare hands. Though, I haven’t dealt with a woman in this position before.” He looked me up and down once more, eyes lingering on the low neckline of my shirt, revealed by my missing top button. “Not in this type of scenario, anyway.”

“I can’t tell you, I really can’t.” My breathing was getting shallow, rapid puffs of air escaping my lips.

He tilted his head, his lips still held in a playful smirk. “Why not?”

I shook my head, closing my eyes while trying to arrange my thoughts again. He was intimidating up close.

“Eyes on me,” he growled, a hand coming out to cradle my jaw. “Focus on me.”

I obeyed, my eyes snapping open. His thumb, pointer finger, and middle finger held my jaw firmly so I had no choice but to do as he said.

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“I don’t want the children to get hurt,” I confessed in a whisper. It was true. Though I didn’t care about the men who chased me through the woods, I still cared about the friends I did have back at the camp, along with the children who had no choice in what they were born into.

“I see,” he said, letting go of his hold on me. I sighed with relief but my skin buzzed from the loss of warmth. “A savior, then. They’re quite lucky to have you, aren’t they? But they don’t have you anymore. You’re here with me.”

He had a point. I didn’t owe them a thing, in fact, I should have been wanting to sell them out after they refused to stick up for me. But I wasn’t that type of person.

“So why were you runnin’?” He crossed his arms over the chair once more, knife shining in the sun streaming through cracks in the boarded up windows. “You could at least tell me that.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t agree with their ways, anymore.” I hung my head, ashamed I was giving him any information at all.

He arched a brow when I looked back up at him. “What ways?”

“The killing, for no reason,” I kept going, like a runaway train. “I was already uncomfortable with the stealing, but we did it to survive, you know?”

He nodded, both in understanding but also for me to keep talking.

“Well, the men in charge decided we needed to do what it takes to steal, even if that means killing innocent people for their stuff.”

I let my words settle between us, trying to gauge his reaction, but not even a twitch graced his stoic expression.

“We’ve all done what we had to in order to survive,” he finally said. “You don’t think I’ve killed people too?”

I dragged my eyes down to his knuckles, seeing evidence of his violence embedded into his skin. “Have you killed children?”

His hands tightened into fists. Finally, a reaction. “No. Not unless they were infected.”

I nodded, looking back up to his face. “That’s where I put my foot down. But one of our leaders didn’t like that. He confronted me one night, one thing led to another…”

His eyebrows raised slightly. Not sure if it was in shock or intrigue.

“I killed him.” I lowered my eyes once more, unsure why I was running my mouth to a stranger. “Turns out that was where they drew the line. We can kill children as long as it’s our gain but the second a man harasses a woman in her own home until she resorts to violence…”

“And you won’t give them up?” He asked.

“I can’t do that to the ones who didn’t ask to be there in the first place.”

“I see.” He nodded and leant down with a sigh to place his knife back in the belt. “What if I told you I wouldn’t go after them? Just the ones who chased you.”

I thought for a moment. “How can I trust you?”

“You can’t.” Simple as that.

“Can I at least get your name?”

He sat back in his chair and paused. “Why would you need that?”

I shrugged as much as I could in my bindings. “Maybe then you’ll feel like you can’t go back on your word.”

“You’re too innocent for all this.” He chuckled. “Name’s Joel. Joel Miller.”

My blood froze, my heart rate spiked. He could’ve pulled a gun on me and I don’t think I would have felt such a strong sense of danger as I did when I heard his name.

A memory seared itself into my mind. We had just finished looting a safe house after killing the two men who were inside. I was loading up my horse when one of the other men shouted for us to run. Gunshots rang out as I leapt up into my saddle and rode off with three of our men, leaving two behind us to fend for themselves. I heard another gunshot and turned to look behind me, seeing an older man with no emotion on his face as he aimed his pistol at one of the men riding next to me. I turned back to the front as a cry rang out beside me before a body hit the ground.

We barely escaped that day, and when we returned back to our settlement there were whispers. The name Joel Miller was on everyone’s lips that night, and continued to be spoken as we said a prayer for our fallen friends.

I had heard stories about that man from nearly every person I came into contact with for an entire week after. He was a bad, bad man, who was too good at doing what it took to survive.

The same man that was in front of me.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” his voice rumbled through my veins, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“I know you.”

He smirked. “Is that so?”

“You killed some men that I was working with on a raid.” I was completely shocked. Mostly shocked to be alive while he sat so calmly in front of me. “Just over a month ago.”

He hummed, looking off to his knives on the floor. “Yeah, I think that rings a bell. You killed two of my men who were posted there.”

I slowly nodded, keeping my eyes trained on his every move.

“You’re lucky I didn’t get there sooner.” His voice was like ice shooting into my bloodstream. “Two good men died that day for no reason other than greed.”

“W-we needed supplies.” I hated the way my voice wavered.

“Their families needed fathers,” he countered. “Did you kill them? Or just those same men.”

I shook my head. “No, I didn’t. I swear. I c-couldn’t.”

“How can I trust you?” He echoed my words earlier back to me as his eyes bore into mine.

“You can’t,” I whispered.

“If you tell me then I’ll spare you.” Joel reached down and picked up another knife, longer, sharper. He leaned forward and traced the tip of the blade down my cheek to the underside of my jaw. “Where were you settled?”

“They need those men to provide.” My breaths came out shallow, and sweat began to bead on my hairline. “If I tell you then good people will die.”

“And if you don’t tell me it seems like good people will die anyway.” He had a point. I was at a standstill. Joel stood up and turned his chair around before sitting back down, still facing me but properly. His thick thighs were lazily spread, his jeans tightening over muscle, while he examined his knife. “I have nowhere else to be today, sweetheart. Take your time.”

I was slightly ashamed at how my eyes trailed up his body, calculating how his clothes stretched tighter in certain places. I wondered what his arms looked like without the flannel covering them. His jeans were thin and testing the seams, clearly older.

There was no doubt that he was handsome. In fact, he was downright beautiful. I thought that the moment I saw him, and even after knowing who he was my opinion hadn’t changed. Something about him just didn’t scream ‘killer’ to me. There was something else beneath his skin, but I couldn’t quite see it.

“(Y/N),” I said. “My name is (Y/N).”

“Well, (Y/N),” he smirked, “what should I do with you?”

I bit my lip, feeling suddenly like my skin was on fire. It had been a long time since I had been with anyone, or even been touched at all. I lived alone back in my settlement, and although some men and women had approached I never felt the draw that I felt in front of Joel. He was magnetic, terrifying, and everything I didn’t know I needed in that moment.

“What were you saying about your bare hands?” I batted my eyes at him, hoping he’d get what I was hinting at. I wasn’t very skilled with flirting, but didn’t care enough to not try.

He chuckled, his smirk turning into a hint of a smile. “You’re headin’ into dangerous territory, sweetheart. Where’s this comin’ from?”

That nickname again. It was like he was stoking the flames starting to lick their way into my belly.

“That’s the plan,” I smirked, trying to pretend I was as cool as him. Calm, collected. “You need me to talk, right?”

He stood up, chuckling to himself as he leant down to put his knife back. “So, what? You tryin’ to seduce me? Distract me?”

“Maybe. You’ll just have to find out.”

Joel turned back to me. “No. That’s not how this is gonna work. You’re gonna tell me where to find them, then we’ll see.”

I narrowed my eyes, feeling braver. “I’m not telling you shit.”

He walked over, kicking the chair off to the side and leaning down until he was eye to eye with me. His hand came up to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my messy hair. I gasped as my head was pulled back so I was forced to look down my nose at him. He moved so he was hovering directly over my face, inches from me.

“Tell me.” His voice was so low, so deep that I could feel it rattle my bones.

I smiled. “Make me.”

A beat of silence. Then his lips were on mine, claiming me as his the moment they met.

I moaned into the kiss, unspoken permission for him to deepen it. Our lips were chapped, rough as they pushed together, but his tongue was soft, gentle, as it slid into my mouth. The hand that wasn’t still in my hair reached up to cradle my jaw, his thumb lightly pressing my bottom lip down to give him more room. Even though I was completely tied up I felt like I had finally reached heaven.

I had never been kissed the way that man kissed me. Demanding, soothing, aching. I felt fulfilled, but like I’d never have enough.

Joel pulled away and leant his forehead on mine, our lips parted while we panted in our shared breaths. I hadn’t realized my eyes were closed until I felt his forehead move away, my eyelids fluttering while I tried to right the world once more. It wasn’t long before they closed again as his lips smudged kisses across my jaw and down my neck.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against my pulse. “I saw you runnin’ through that forest and I knew I just had to get to you.” His teeth nipped a line down to my shoulder. “Even if you didn’t want me, I just needed to see you.”

His confession had me breathless, as if I was still running through that forest. I wasn’t just a target to him, I was his prey.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” he paused, stepping back to look in my eyes. His hand was removed from my hair and I whined when his other was removed as well. “In fact, I won’t do a thing until you’re begging me.”

Fuck. He had me there. I could tell from the way his lips quirked up that he would be enjoying this kind of torture more than anything in the world. I was in trouble.

“Please,” I whispered. “Please touch me-”

“I don’t think you understand what I mean, sweetheart.” He cut me off, shaking his head and chuckling at my pathetic attempt. “I didn’t say ask for permission, or ask nicely. I said fuckin’ beg.”

“Joel, please,” I tried again, my voice not coming out as weak, but still not as strong as I’d like. I still felt nervous in his presence, but so drawn to him.

He leant down and picked up a knife, much longer than any he had shown me at that point. “Don’t make me use my usual methods.” I could feel my lower lip tremble as he stalked around me until he was standing directly out of sight. His hands landed on my shoulders, causing me to jump in my seat. My eyes caught on the knife clutched in his right hand, blade pointing away from me but still too close for comfort. His face pressed against the side of my head, his lips almost touching my ear. “Beg.”

“Please!” I heard myself cry as if my voice was somewhere else. I had no control over the way I was reacting to him. “Please touch me, I need it so bad. Need you.”

Joel chuckled, his hand holding the knife slipping down to my button up shirt. It slipped past the missing top button, and with slight resistance the blade of his knife ripped through the threads holding the second one on as well. Then the third. My chest hitched as I struggled to breathe through the tension he held within the air. I wasn’t ready for the way the knife clattered to the ground, making me jump yet again.

“Why so jumpy?” He breathed against my temple before laying a kiss there. “I’ll take care of ya, I promise.”

A whimper left my lips, completely without my permission.

“Patience,” he said, sliding both hands to the rest of the buttons on my shirt. He worked quickly, causing me to no longer wonder how weapons such as his fists could become gentle enough for wood carving. Once my shirt was open he pulled it down my shoulders as much as my bindings would allow. “I’m keepin’ you tied up for now. You don’t need your upper half for what I wanna do.”

“W-what do you mean?” I asked, out of breath from the way he was making me wait.

Joel had the calmest look on his face as he walked back in front of me, which seemed impossible with how badly he was already tearing me apart.

“You think I’m just gonna give you everythin’? Just because you said please?”

I nodded hesitantly.

He barked out a laugh. “Absolutely not, darlin’. I don’t think you deserve it.” He stepped forward, once again bringing his face down until it was inches from mine. “You see, you didn’t give me what I want, so I’ll be doin’ the same. You’re not gettin’ a thing from me until you’re beggin’ me to touch you, beggin’ me to taste you. Until you tell me where your settlement is. Then, and only then, will I even think about letting you cum all over my fingers. If you’re a really good girl then you might even be able to cum on my face.”

“B-but that wasn’t part of my-”

“I don’t give a shit about your plan. Sweetheart.” His voice lowered even more, sounding like gravel turning over itself. “We’re going to be doing things my way.”

His hands landed on my thighs, squeezing me in a vice like grip through my jeans. The heat from them seeped into my skin through the ever thinning fabric, and I felt my mouth water and a heat stir deep in my belly. They reached up until they bumped against the button of my jeans before undoing it. The zipper seemed to take forever as he slowly dragged it down. He looked into my eyes, looking for permission until I raised my hips as much as I could. Our eyes continued to hold together as he slid the fabric down my legs, then my panties.

It seemed like he wouldn’t allow himself to look at the skin that was revealed to him, not until I deserved it. Not even when he lowered himself with a grunt to his knees and pulled off my boots and then the rest of my lower garments. His hands slid back up to my thighs, his thumbs rubbing so carefully against the sensitive skin it sent goosebumps rippling over my body.

I continued to look into his eyes. The dark pools of them held so much more than just the brooding, dangerous stranger that first held me captive. There was an underlying sense of need, care, and love unlike any other. My heart ached suddenly, like he had reached into my chest and squeezed it himself. I felt an urge to know him, a need to see what secrets he held deep within, locked so tight only a select few would ever see him as he truly is.

“Promise me,” I started, “promise me you won’t hurt them. Just the ones in charge. I don’t want the children getting hurt, and most of the others there are innocent. Please, Joel.”

His face softened briefly, like a flash that I would’ve missed if I hadn’t been watching his every move. “I promise.”

I lowered my head, concentrating on the strong fingers wrapped around my thighs. “Five miles east, turn left at the small pond. The entrance is a cave that spits out into a small camp hidden away. That’s us. You may come across the men you’re looking for first, but if not then they’ll be held in the larger gray cabin.”

He waited until I looked back up into his eyes, the softness returned once again in a flash, then they went dark. “Good girl.”

A moan ripped from deep within my chest as he forcefully parted my legs, placing them up onto his shoulders and shoved his face between them. Joel devoured me, inch by inch, as his tongue swiped at the wetness gathering at my opening,his forehead bumping against my soft tummy as he pushed himself as close as he could to push his tongue inside me. He pulled away and groaned as he slipped a finger inside instead, making my legs twitch against the flannel stretched across his broad shoulders.

“So tight, sweetheart,” he panted before sealing his lips over my clit. I squirmed and whined as his tongue rolled over the sensitive bud again and again. He pulled off with a wet pop. “S’been a while, hasn’t it? No wonder you folded so easily for me.”

I whimpered at the sensitivity when he rubbed his thumb against my clit while sliding another finger inside. “P-please Joel.”

“P-p-please Joel,” he mocked, his smile downright cruel. “So desperate for me already, I’ve barely touched you.”

“Feels so g-good,” I moaned, writhing against my restraints.

“You gonna cum for me?” He sunk his teeth into my thigh, making me cry out. “I want you to cum on my face. Need it, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?”

I nodded. “Yes, Joel, please. I can do it.”

He attached his lips to my clit once more, sucking it onto his tongue. My orgasm hit me with no warning, and I practically screamed for him as he continued flicking his tongue over my clit and fucking his fingers into me. I tried to close my legs since my arms were useless, but he continued his actions until tears sprang to my eyes.

“S’too much, Joel, please.” I thrashed my head around, trying to move away from him to no avail.

“Gimme another,” he growled against the wet heat between my legs. “Come on, darlin’, one more.”

I came with a shout, another orgasm washing over me until black started to crowd my vision. My lungs constricted after the breath was knocked out of me, and when I finally relaxed boneless against the chair I sucked in as much air as I could. My eyes fluttered open and I was met with Joel’s.

He leant down and kissed me, the taste of myself smeared across his lips. When he pulled away I felt a flush of embarrassment creep its way up my chest. What was I supposed to do?

Joel answered that for me while he untied me. “I’m gonna go after those bastards. When I come back I’ll deal with you properly.”

I shivered, imagining what that would be like. He helped me pull up my jeans, but when I realized I didn’t have my panties he just held them up and stuffed them into his pocket.

“For safekeeping,” he said, smiling.

He bent down with a grunt to pick up his knives, and walked over to his bag. I watched him while he gathered up his things, checked his gun, then slung the bag over his shoulder and turned to the door.

“What if I leave?” I asked, focusing on rubbing the soreness out of where the ropes were digging into my arms. I looked up to see him watching me, his gaze enveloping me completely as he stood in the doorway.

“Don’t worry,” he finally said. “You won’t.”

The door shut forcefully and I sat completely still, listening to his footsteps becoming lighter and lighter until they were out of earshot.

It felt like I waited for hours, my eyes shutting like they were weighed down as I fell in and out of sleep. What finally woke me up for good was the gentle sound of rain starting to fall on the wooden roof. It was such a sweet sound that I suddenly had the urge to stay awake so I wouldn’t miss it.

The door burst open, causing my whole body to jolt in my seat. Joel stood in the open doorway once again, pinning me in place with a look of hunger, and a hint of surprise.

“You stayed.” It wasn’t a question, more of an observation on his part.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just like you told me I would.”

He ran his hand through his hair, slicking back the strands that were damp from the rain. His clothes were also wet and they looked heavy as they clung to his body. When he lowered his hand I noticed the streak of blood that smeared over his knuckles.

He noticed me looking. “You won’t have to worry about them anymore.”

I nodded, trying to swallow as my throat went dry at the thought of what fate those men met when Joel Miller stepped out of the shadows.

“Did you move at all?”

I shook my head. “Too tired.”

He walked to the counter where he placed his bag and retrieved something out of it once more. My heart rate spiked when I remembered what he pulled out of there last. When he turned back to me I nearly sighed in relief when I saw the sandwich he held in one of his hands.

“Want one? I’m sure you’re hungry.” He held it out to me but I didn’t move.

“I think my legs are asleep,” I confessed. “I was so tired when you left, I couldn’t really move.”

“That’s my fault,” he said, walking over and handing me his food. “I was gonna tell you there was a bed, but I expected you to explore a bit. Should’ve known you would crash like that.”

I moaned after taking a bite, the flavours bursting on my taste buds after eating the blandest food, if anything, for so long. “Where did you get this?” I asked, so amazed by such a simple thing.

He shrugged. “Made it. I live in a town not too far from here. They’ve got things a little more figured out. I’m heading back there in the morning.”

I nodded, practically inhaling the sandwich. If it were before the outbreak I would’ve probably been embarrassed or self conscious about the way I was eating in front of him, but I no longer cared about that as much. Especially as I tried to tamp down the disappointment of knowing he was leaving in the morning.

“I was wonderin’ if you’d wanna come with me.”

I nearly choked on the last bite, unsure if I heard him correctly. Once I finally swallowed I looked up to find him rubbing his neck and staring down at his boots.

“Yeah? Would that be alright?” I asked.

He looked at me, a smile breaking out onto his face. “Yes, of course it would. I was also gonna tell my brother about your little place, see if we might be able to make some room for anyone that would wanna join us.”

The smile that spread across my face must’ve looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I leapt up and wrapped my arms around him, stumbling slightly when my legs wobbled from misuse, causing his arms to wrap around my middle to steady me.

“Woah there! Let’s take a second here before you hurt yourself.” He chuckled while stepping back but not letting go completely. His hands slid to my waist and held me in place. “Let’s rest up first, then we’ll head out first thing.”

“Okay. Thank you, Joel.” I beamed at him, my arms still wrapped around his neck after my hug. I bit my lip and watched as his eyes caught the motion, then flickered down to where I couldn’t button up my top after he cut it with his knife. “I think you said something earlier though, about dealing with me properly?”

He smiled, then nodded toward a room down the hall. “Go lay down, I’ll be right there.”

I stepped away from him, the slide of his palms on my clothes nearly enough to drive me insane, and I reluctantly did as I was told. The door to the room opened with such a loud creak I nearly jumped with how on edge I was. There was a bed wedged into the corner of the room, and it looked as though it had been made not long before we got there. I walked up and smoothed my hands along the blankets, sighing with the memories of comfort that were so long ago.

“This is one of our safe houses,” Joel’s voice rumbled from behind me. “I brought fresh blankets from home. It’s nice to have that luxury again.”

I nodded, still losing myself in the softness of the fabric.

“I thought I told you to lay down,” he spoke again, his voice no longer holding the lightness from seconds ago.

My hand froze in place before I turned to face him. “I’m sorry, I just got distracted.”

“Ah, distracted.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway. I noticed his hair was combed back slightly and his knuckles were no longer painted crimson. “Maybe you’re too distracted to continue then.”

“What? No, I’m not. I promise.” I walked over to him, placing my hands on his forearms. They moved easily as I pulled them away from his body so I could smooth my palms up his chest.

He quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Is that so? ‘Cause you’re still not listening.”

My lips parted as my breath hitched in my throat.

He leaned in closer, until his lips ghosted against the shell of my ear. His voice was a whisper, “I said. Lay. Down.”

Joel’s hands gripped my hips as he marched me backwards toward the bed. I fell back with a thump and watched as he stood tall over me. He slipped his flannel off his shoulders and his shirt was next. My eyes shamelessly scanned his upper body as it was revealed to me, and my fingers itched to touch him. Though, something in his eyes told me I wasn’t allowed to yet.

Scars were littered across his torso, mapping their way across his hard chest and shoulders, and one that looked fresher than the rest looked as though it had been punched into his abdomen. His stomach was softer, with hair dusting along the lower part heading into his jeans, where his fingers worked at the button and zipper.

Everything about him made me want to pull him closer to me and hold him until morning, while making desire pool deep and hot in my belly. I wanted to bring him comfort, relaxation, and pleasure. I wanted to be everything for a man I knew nothing about.

He kicked off his boots and nodded toward me. “I’m not going to be the only one naked here.”

I sat up embarrassingly fast and nearly ripped off my shirt. I reached behind me to take off my bra but his hand circled my forearm. He leaned down and kissed me, making my body melt into him. I didn’t even realize he had taken my bra off until a shiver raced through my spine when the air hit my skin as he pulled the straps down my arms.

“Fuck, look at you,” he whispered against my lips before pulling away to take me in. He discarded the fabric and his hands reached up and cupped my breasts, making me whimper and lean into the warmth of his palms. “So fucking soft.”

Though the skin of his hands was rough, his touch was gentle. My heart ached at the way he looked at me, care evident in his gaze, as his thumbs brushed over my nipples before his hands made their way to my jeans once again. He pulled my jeans down and off a lot quicker than before, almost as if his patience was finally running out.

His hand circled one of my ankles and brought his lips to the sensitive inner skin. He closed his eyes, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, as he continued to place soft kisses all the way up to the inside of my knee. I moaned so quietly I was surprised he heard it as he hummed in response. My ankle fell to the side of him when he finally let go and smoothed his hand up to my thigh.

I found myself getting lost in his eyes, as cheesy as that sounded. It was like I was searching through them, confused as to how this man whose violence was like a legend in my settlement could touch me so gently. Could gaze into my eyes with a tenderness that poked and prodded at my heart until I felt myself letting him in after only knowing him less than a day.

“Joel,” I moaned, “I need you, please.”

He pulled back so he could pull his pants and underwear down, and my mouth watered immediately at the sight of him. He was thick, and so hard that his tip was red. A pearl of precum beaded at his slit and I wet my lips as I watched it start to drip down the head of his cock.

Joel kicked his clothes off to the side and finally climbed onto the bed. He cradled my head in one of his hands and pressed his lips to mine once more. The hunger from earlier returned and he practically devoured me. I reached my hands into his hair and tugged at the roots while he growled at the mixture of pleasure and pain.

His hand reached up to my throat, his fingers tightening enough that I felt lightheaded. I felt his other hand snake down my body to swipe through my heat.

“You’re still so wet for me, sweetheart” he groaned, pressing his forehead to mine. “All for me.”

“All for you, Joel.” I breathed him in and moaned when I felt the blunt tip of his cock nudge against my entrance. “I’m all yours.”

He pushed in slightly, his hips stuttering while he moaned. “You’re so warm, so soft, fuck.”

“I need more, Joel,” I groaned, throwing my head back onto the bed. “Please, please, please.”

My body felt like it was on fire, heat pooling in my belly, as he pushed himself further and further until he was seated fully inside me. We panted together, lips brushing, as our bodies grew accustomed to us fitting together. I slid my hands up his chest to his shoulders and dug my nails in. He pulled out until just the head of his cock was still inside, and then snapped his hips forward.

“Oh fuck!” I shouted, pleasure ripping through my veins.

He continued to pull almost all the way out before pushing his hips against me while I chanted his name. It was like his cock was made for me, hitting all the right spots, chasing after my high until I felt I was suspended over a cliff.

“Almost there,” I panted. “Need more, please, Joel, need you.”

“I got you, sweetheart, I got you.” He kissed my neck while wedging one of his hands between our bodies. His fingers slid over my clit, slick with how wet I was for him. “You’re doin’ so well, darlin’, you gonna give me another? After already given me two this mornin’. Fuck, come on, that’s a good girl.”

Lightning streaked through my bloodstream, and my toes curled so hard I was scared my feet would cramp up. His name was the only thing I could think of as I finally was hurled from the cliff.

“Oh, Joel, oh fuck, oh my god,” I moaned as my body writhed underneath his.

He sunk his teeth into the crook of my neck and groaned as his hips stuttered, pushing himself impossibly closer to me. I felt spurts of his hot cum shoot against my walls, and basked in the feeling of being the one to make him get lost in his pleasure. He held onto me tightly after we both settled down, and licked the spot on my neck that ached from his teeth.

“Holy shit,” I breathed, staring up at the ceiling. He went to move but I brought my hands up to his back and his head, scratching at his scalp while I held him close to me. He hummed in appreciation, and settled even further on top of me. “Stay with me, this feels really comforting.”

He chuckled and then flinched at the sensitivity of his spent cock still inside me. “Alright, darlin’. Let’s get some rest, we’ll go home in the mornin’.”

His words got quieter as he slowly drifted off, still weighing me down like the most comfortable blanket in the world, soothing the ache that had settled in my chest. I felt so connected, both physically and emotionally, to a man I hadn’t known just a day before, but found myself drifting off with our bodies still entwined. My lips curved into a smile at the thought of what he said before starting to snore softly. He spoke a word I didn’t think I’d ever feel comfort hearing again.

Home.

- - - - - -

Taglist: @sullyosully

[warthogreporter]

Thinking about the 'serialized rough draft then polished print/ebook version' model after a post mentioned being optimistic about it being the future, and now thinking about my own experience with it and having a newsletter that includes serial fiction.

For my own serial, Battles Beneath the Stars I have it on the same publication where I post non-fiction and short stories, because I was looking for a way to build a general author platform not dependent on social media and saw other people do it/ recommend it.

I've had people suggest dividing this into multiple specialized newsletters, but the idea of running multiple indefinitely ongoing newsletters doesn't appeal to me. Even if it's the same amount of writing, splitting them into separate publications feels like it'd be more time consuming for something I already have to make time for.

And I was drawn in by the idea of not having to 'niche down,' that I could just post my various interests and trust that to be my niche, not having to carefully select what I talk about and how much I talk about it. Like I don't want a mythology newsletter and a video game newsletter, I'd rather just talk about both depending on my mood.

Anyway, something that resonated with me when just starting out with Battles Beneath the Stars was the idea that a little roughness in serial fiction is part of the charm. So instead of having things mostly pre-written I've been writing as I go, getting some things written ahead of schedule but not too far. The pressure of a publishing schedule has been great for keeping me writing.

It's important to note that Battles Beneath the Stars is an unconventional oddball, a walkthrough of the story mode for an imaginary fighting game that's a crossover between various yet to be published stories in the same world.

Starting with something like that was strategic in thinking that it was better to do it before there was an audience to alienate, plus the sheer novelty would draw eyes. And also that for something like that it will end up undergoing some stylistic evolution as I work out new ways to make the most of the format, which would be interesting to watch happen, and well it has happened.

But I have a small overall readership after two whole years so I've had moments of doubt with Battles Beneath the Stars due to how often I publish to relative silence. I get consistent likes now, but it's rare to get comments, though the ones I've gotten made my day.

Looking at other serials like What Manner of Man they feel more polished than my own. I wouldn't call at least all of them rough drafts, especially since I'm literally mutuals with the editor of What Manner of Man. Not sure about the editing process for others like Case Files of Sheridan Bell/ Fractured Magic (same author), Talebones, or Chokeville.

I'm sticking with my current approach to Battles Beneath the Stars because despite everything I am getting this massive weird project done instead of leaving it on the unfinished backburner with everything else. The pressure of having to publish is powerful.

But thinking about what to do different in the future for other serials, I think things will be more written in advance, still keeping room for flexibility. And maybe give other serials their own publication. Though I still need to decide which stories would actually work as serials and which should be done in the more traditional draft and then publish way.

I think my Nordic Saga styled one would work as a serial because the saga style feels very friendly to serialization, short quick chapters focused on a specific event. And it's where some of the Battles Beneath the Stars characters come from.

If you read this whole thing thanks. Mainly just rambling and throwing out my thoughts hoping somebody finds this worth noting or helpful.

[volkodava]

Jundori headcanons

Okay, I thought for a long time whether to publish or not, but I have accumulated a number of headcanons for Junpei/Chidori from Persona 3. It can be time from original p3, timeline p4au and post-canon. I warn you right away that English is not my language, so there may be errors, but I hope you enjoy it!

***

When, for some reason, Junpei was not allowed to see Chidori at the hospital, he tried to climb through the window with the help of Makoto and Akihiko with flowers in his teeth. Spoiler: climbed up, but then, when trying to escape from the suddenly appeared Mitsuru, he fell into the bushes, scratched everything he could, and then tore out the thorns for half a day.

***

Every Sunday, Junpei brings a bouquet of sunflowers to Chidori. This is not discussed.

***

Junpei always escorts Chidori home at night. Even if she comes from somewhere alone. Even from the other side of the city. Even at 2 am. He will yawn, fall asleep on the go, but he will come anyway, despite any protests, because her safety is more important.

***

When they start live together, Chidori barely knows how to cook. But unlike Fuka, who can destroy half a kitchen, Chidori mostly harms only herself: her hands are constantly in plasters, microburns, cracks, and so on.

When Junpei finally gets to the bottom of the truth (which turns out not to be easy, because Chidori answers everything with "It doesn't matter"), he asks in complete confusion why she ruins her "beautiful hands", because he, in principle, does not force her do something around the house. To which Chidori angrily declares: “You helped me for so long, even when I didn’t really know you, and now you are working on several jobs. If you are so concerned about our living together that we do not need anything, then my concern is to maintain comfort from the inside. Do you really think that in gratitude for all that you do, I cannot learn at least tolerably cook?"

This issue was not raised between them again. Though that never stopped Junpei from periodically throwing a "romantic dinner" for her. And Chidori's hands, in principle, quickly returned to normal (to the delight of Junpei).

***

At some point, they start a "kiss before leaving" tradition. One day, Junpeu's work schedule changes and he is forced to leave much earlier in an attempt not to wake up the Chidori. But she, sleepy and displeased, catches him at the exit, scolds him for leaving quietly, kisses him on the cheek and goes back to sleep. And Junpei remains standing at the door with a smile and thinks how lucky he is.

***

Jundori support each other's hobbies, despite the fact that they themselves get tired at their jobs.

That is, Junpei, tired of studying and training, still sits down to watch Chidori draw. True, he falls asleep from fatigue on the same sofa, so Chidori covers him with a blanket and continues to quietly draw next to him.

And at the same time, Chidori herself does not miss a single of his matches, and even if the game goes on late at night, she will still watch TV in the living room in a souvenir T-shirt with his number. So when he returns after the match, Junpei finds her sleeping in front of the TV and carries her back to the bedroom in her arms each time.

***

Junpei after p3 takes responsibility for Chidori because she has no family, no real friends, no proper education. And he gets used to this role so much that by the Arena timeline (or immediately after), when they are already dating, maybe already living together, etc., he begins to perceive her almost like a wife even before he proposes. And at some point, in a conversation with someone on the phone, he starts talking and exclaims something like "Actually, I take care of MY FAMILY!"

And Chidori, who accidentally hears this, is like:

***

After the age of 25, Junpei begins to develop premature gray hair, and this is hereditary from his father. This is another reason why he always wore a baseball cap. Just as a child, someone jokingly intimidated him, they say, at the graduation you will be gray-haired. Then, however, everything cleared up, but he was already used to the headdress.

But when Junpei's hair really starts to turn gray, he, like a true drama queen, begins to theatrically lament "I'm only 30 years old, and I'm already an old man!", to which Chidori rolls his eyes every time.

***

According to Persona 4: Arena Ultimax, Junpei often dreamed about how his team won a prestigious match and from the stadium he proposed to Chidori to marry him.

But imagine that in reality the team loses miserably and returns with nothing after a long flight. At home, Junpei meets Chidori, who tries to cheer him up, but he brushes it off, saying it's okay, and starts talking about all sorts of other interesting things that they could see.

At some point, he exclaims "Oh, that's right, I brought you a gift" and takes out of his backpack ... a stone. Just a round, even stone from some coast. Surprised, Chidori stands with this stone in her hands, not understanding what the joke is, and Junpei, as if nothing had happened, continues to talk about the fact that in his free time he managed to look into the local zoo.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool, the penguins are so funny. They have funny rituals, by the way, you know? Like how the male spends a lot of time finding the perfect pebble and then brings it to the female penguin he likes to offer her, like, build a nest together and hatch the chicks..."

At this point, Chidori understands the meaning of "gift", but she doesn't even have time to say anything, because Junpei continues: "Listen, I know that I'm not the smartest, I'm still like a child and often I do stupid things, but I would like to... well... "make a nest" with you."

All that Chidori can think at this moment is "God, I seriously live with this man, why does he have everything through one place, it's so stupid, of course I agree." _______ Chidori: Don't tell me you've scoured the ALL coast to find that stone. Junpei: I have scoured the ALL coast to find this stone. Chidori: ... Junpei: Trust me, it's not the craziest thing I've ever done in my life. Chidori: I'm intrigued.

***

Some time after the wedding, Chidori begins to feel unusual. She is constantly in high spirits and even a state of euphoria for no reason. It’s not that it was something outstanding, after all, and she is doing what she loves, and her husband is at hand, who will at least get a star from the sky for her, but basically she behaves more restrained. But then a sudden tactile hunger is added to this. She constantly needs touches: if you walk, then by the hand / under the arm, if you sit or lie down, then in an embrace, hugs, kisses and all that.

It wasn't that Junpei was particularly opposed, quite the contrary. He is "a block of flaming love", just give him a reason to cuddle his dear Chidorita. But, nevertheless, the reasons for this behavior remain a mystery to both of them.

That is until Chidori decides "for the calm" to take a pregnancy test.

And when, a few years later, Junpei again notices exactly the same behavior, everything immediately becomes clear to him.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Thank You

If you’ll permit me a minute to be cliche: this photo would not have been possible without you. When I started university in August 2019, the sum of all my author-y potential measured up to:

No finished manuscripts

A pipe dream of ever publishing my work

A scatterbrained outline of The Laoche Chronicles

Forty-four phone notes full of half-witted ideas

A grand total of 3 followers on my brand-new tumblr account

At the time, I had no grand plans of marketing my work, though I knew it would be necessary if I ever wanted an audience. I chose a degree in chemical engineering because I knew my baby platform and half finished stories weren’t going to cut it as a career in their current state as an 18-year-old, and I needed to have a day job if I wanted to pursue my end dream of self publishing. I was just hoping to survive my first year of engineering school, pass my weed-out classes, and hopefully make some new friends. That fall semester passed with sporadic progress on my book, and halfhearted attempts at breaking into the writeblr community, until I decided to try my hand at Inktober and made my first few acquaintances: @siarven and @abalonetea, who have both featured on this blog since then. It was also at this point, sometime during a Calculus III lecture, that I invented my pen name:

All was going well, and I was pleased with my incremental progress until the world ended.

The less said about the pandemic, the better. Writeblr truly kept me sane through working full-time jobs and taking 18 credit hours during the semester. When I was truly close to dropping out of school, I kept going, knowing I had these online friends to cheer me up after brutal exams and long nights of studying. The tag games and community filled the dearth of interaction left by quarantine and an insane schedule. During my summer internship in 2020, I finally had the time to finish the first draft of Storge and the confidence in myself to start a website. Rereading my first post is a surreal experience, in part because I still see myself as a little kid as hiding under the blankets with a flashlight, notebook, and pen, thinking “I wanna write a book!”

I woke up the next day crying to the sheer volume of kind messages congratulating me on meeting this milestone. Instead of feeling burnt out after reaching such a lofty goal, this gave me all the more energy to keep working. Since then, I’ve been so blessed to grow this community and this website. It’s incredible to see how far I’ve come, now being able to claim:

A finished manuscript of Storge

A 3rd draft of Runaways after going through 2 rounds of Beta Readers

8 short stories and an audio drama

An active mailing list

Over 1000 followers on tumblr, but more importantly, a thriving community of writers who support each other’s releases through ARCs, leaving reviews, enthusiastic questions, and a welcoming space for new writers to share their craft.

140 posts on my website and regular readers who care about my ramblings ❤

Now I’m on my way to my new job – I’ll be doing research and development in my chosen field with a team I really like, and the freedom to listen to books while I’m in the lab. This next month will still be a hiatus for blog posts and new writing as I pack up my life for a cross-states move, but I’m beyond excited to enter change. My hope is that I can start saving for editing costs and devote more time to my craft thanks to a 9-5 schedule and NO!!! HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! Really, I cannot say enough how thrilled I am to never have to take another exam ever again, thank GOD. With a bit of luck and no small amount of grace, I hope I can publish and share my stories with you sooner rather than later.

Thank you for all the support and camaraderie these past years. In a way, I owe this diploma to you as much as to my classmates and professors. The night before graduation, I said to my friends, “I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for eight years.” Now I’m living in the future, and I can’t wait to write the next chapter.

[aerithsage]

Moving to Subscriptions: Patreon & Inkitt

Hi everyone!

Yes, I am back. Thank you so much for the warm welcome!

Over the years since I stopped writing, I've never truly stayed away from this world. I still read books, sometimes I wrote the stories in my head and kept them on drafts. Also, I was a ghostwriter for several published books (I cannot say what, sorry!).

Other than those things listed above, I also created a new account on Wattpad and finished an entire book.

The community was chill and nice when I finished that book which made me think maybe the toxic readers from before have truly grown up so I went back to my AerithSage account and started writing again.

And I am 100% back! The love for writing is also back. If there's anything that changed, it's that I monitor the comments section more thoroughly now. I click on every single notification and make sure I don't give the trolls an opportunity.

This time around, I went back with a plan.

For so long, I've kept my completed works free. This time around, I'm trying out subscriptions. I don't really like the coin-based ones as I feel this is more expensive. The subscriptions like Patreon and Inkitt work well because people can subscribe and binge-read.

So here goes:

While I was still debating which platform to choose, and at the same time, setting both up to test out features, 3 people subscribed (2 on Inkitt and 1 on Patreon) and I guess I have to do both this time.

So dear readers, I leave it up to you where you want to subscribe! You can go choose between Inkitt and Patreon.

I understand Inkitt is better for readers in terms of the actual reading interface but Patreon has more features like the polls, ability to upload images, podcasts, and the chapters have graphics!

Here's a sample of how a chapter looks like on Patreon:

Pretty, right? Too bad the reading experience is not as good yet as Inkitt or Wattpad.

THE TIERS:

The Billionaires ($2.99)

This gives you access to all my previously completed works. If you want to just binge-read this is for you!

The Immortals ($4.99)

This gives you access to all my previously COMPLETED and early access to all ONGOING works.

I will still post chapters on Wattpad for Ongoing Books but there will be more advanced chapters on Inkitt / Patreon.

OTHER STUFF:

If you subscribe on Patreon, there's also other features like Polls, Chats, etc. One way I was thinking of using polls is to put on a vote which book gets updated along with my main book.

For example: Right now, my main goal is to finish How to be a Queen so that's my main book. I'll open a poll on which book my subscribers also want to be updated aside from How to be a Queen.

Let's say How to Defy Fate won. I will also then post 1 chapter for How to Defy Fate.

Let me know what you think about this system and if it sounds interesting! I think I can put polls up every 1-2 weeks depending on workload.

**********************************************************************

LINKS:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/aerithsage (Read Online via web or Download the Patreon App)

Inkitt: https://www.inkitt.com/AerithSage (Read Online via web or Download the Inkitt App)

**********************************************************************

Anyway, thank you everyone for reading!

I hope you can support my writing by subscribing. I researched this pretty heavily and I think this is the cheapest option for my subscribers rather than me going by coins which always end up being more expensive.

Also, if you can't subscribe, that is totally fine! As I said previously, ongoing works will still be cross-posted to Wattpad just on a delayed schedule.

Not subscribing is fine but please do not send any hate. Just like you, writers are humans too and we need food to eat and a roof over our heads. Please do not get mad at us for trying to earn something by doing what we love.

Thanks so much for reading this long blog post! If you have any questions, here's where you can reach me:

Facebook Group: AerithSage's Immortals

Facebook Page: AerithSage

Instagram/Threads: @aerithsage

Twitter/X: @aerithsage

Love lots,

AerithSage

[soloistschornicles]

⌜ 𝘛𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘌𝘙 ⌟

⩩﹕𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬﹒ The supernatural has roamed the Teyvat landmass for centuries. Whether it's true or not, people's curiosity tends to be those. They don't know if it's some sort of legend, a myth from ancient times that hasn't been disproven yet, but they don't care, they're too enthralled by those who believe in such things.

Have you heard this tale before? A story about an apprentice who hails across the sea and met a spirit who wanders aimlessly on the land of Forevermore. You haven't? Such a shame…sit back seelies, this story is going to be so interesting that you won't know what hit you when it's over.

⩩﹕𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬﹒ongoing

⩩﹕𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫﹒Genshin impact is an action role-playing game developed and published by yours truly, miHoyo.

⌜ 𝘛𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘌𝘙 ⌟

𝐈.

“Huh? An invitation?”

[Name] lived among the people of Liyue, The Harbor of Contracts. Working as a young apprentice under Doctor Baizhu, a skilled herbalist works at Bubu Pharmacy alongside his somber assistant, Qiqi.

One day, they came home from tiring work, endless herbs that needed to be processed, and medications and prescriptions that needed to be tended to the worrisome patients and customers. On the doorstep of their abode, they spotted a polished-looking envelope with a familiar seal that fastened the letter. 

Taking the letter by hand, they went up to their bedroom, where their safe haven was situated. Glancing a questioning gaze upon the envelope. A faint sweetness and powdery aroma were wafting from the said envelope once they opened it. They knew this smell too well to be mistaken; it was the scent of a sakura bloom that was often to be seen at Narukami Island of Inazuma.

They began to unravel it slowly and saw a letter written in elegant calligraphy, and the name of the sender was not something they expected. They immediately opened the envelope and read the contents.

Blooming Flower~

Sender: Kamisato, Ayato

Salutation, my dear [Name]. I am most pleased that you received my letter, and I hope that you do not mind me contacting you after such a long time, though I am quite certain that you would be gladdened to know that this year we’ll be inviting you for a break at our family house, at Kamisato estate. 

I have been informed by my informants about your recent work and your long period of working hours at your disposal. I’ve seen many reports of your success in the past two years since we spoke.

And so, I wanted you to be aware of how proud we are of you and how much we wish to share the news with you in person. Myself and Ayaka, have been looking forward to your arrival at the Kamisato estate for some time now. We’ll even have to cease our work schedules just to show you the beauty of Inazuma, which is in store for you. 

Furthermore, don’t fret. I had already contacted your executive. 

Sincerely, Ayato.

𝐈𝐈.

“You wish to know more about Inazuma? From my prior encounters as a wandering Samurai…That land is nothing more than a grim and eerie rendition. The only thing that is truly pleasant about it was the tranquility that nature has to offer…”

The sound of leaves rustling came to an abrupt stop as the wind seemed to have picked up. The sound of birds chirping happily in the distance made its way to Kazuha’s ears, along with the distant sounds of people talking.

“I’m glad you came by. It has been a while since our previous hangout. I hope your trip from Liyue was a breeze.” 

White-blue hair fluttered by the gentle wind, glistening under the sun’s ray. A young dignified girl of the Kamisato Clan, Kamisato Ayaka, came to greet you with her humble present. From what you can recall, your dear cousin was a renowned Shirasagi Himegimi of the Kamisato Clan. Known for her beauty, strength, and intellect. Inazuma’s ideal epitome of perfection.

Under the gentle mask, was a daunting burden anchoring her shoulders…

“Ever heard of Inazuma’s 7 wonders? They’re in fact, famed for telling children some ghost stories so they could return home before the sun sets, not an exact method in my opinion, but I’m not a parent, so who am I to judge?"

A bubbly pyrotechnician, the current owner of Naganohara Fireworks. Yoimiya. Her words sparked interest and curiosity among the youths as they huddled around her, listening to her narrate a few of the stories she’d heard in the past about the famed seven wonders. Suddenly, you were also piqued in interest and decided to sit within the sea of children.

𝐈𝐈𝐈.

“Hm? You’re saying that this boy was threatening you but then disappeared through thin air?” Heizou’s olive green eyes glistened with skepticism and interest. Suddenly, a string of chuckles was heard from the said boy. He stopped himself when he noticed your glare coming his way.

He cleared his throat, swallowing every bit of his insanity. “No offense, I do love supernatural things just like few people. But, even if we were going to believe such stories as those… It wouldn’t matter. After all, these are only tales told by people in fear.” 

You sighed defeatedly. I guess you’re going back to the estate. However, his hands stop you. His emerald eyes hold firm determination and belief. He then leaned his head towards your ear, his hot breath tickling the side of your face. A faint blush erupted from the side of your cheeks.

“I believe what you were saying, however, in this world, no one is capable of trusting what lies within the depths of the unknown. People are too afraid of what they’ll discover. So it’s best for them to stay put in the safe zone, and you shall do the same.”

𝐈𝐕.

“My, aren’t you rather bit close to the line? Does not matter, what matter is~ What does a youngling like you doing at the Grand Narukami Shrine at this hour? Aren’t your family or friends would be worried sick when they found out about your little escapade, hm?” 

The self-proclaimed head priestess, Yae Miko, was circling your seated form with opulent eyes that resembles a fox, or in Inazuma’s dialect, Kitsune. Her salmon-pink hair flittered through the breeze. Her figure is radiating dominance and voluptuousness—a sense that overwhelms you, and you scooted an inch, but your back was met with a block of cold concrete.

Miko grinned as she took slow steps toward you. “Don’t fret, kit. This vixen doesn’t bite, at least, on some occasions.”

𝐕.

Falling from a well wasn’t your ideal trip to the Kamisato Estate. Everything went fast, and you were unaware of an ominous presence lingering about, which then pushed you into your unfortunate situation. Attempting to climb out of the worn well, you fell back again. Slipper walls are stopping you to reach the top, thinking of ways to get out, you heard the voice you’ve heard from Chinju forest.

“Curiosity killed a cat, but the satisfaction brought it back.” 

Casting upward, you saw the boy earlier, who saved you from the horde of electro cicin insects. His frown from earlier was twitching into a sly grin. His indigo eyes glowed under the moonlight. 

“Who knew we met again, with you in an unfortunate position, as usual? First, are the hordes of insects. And now, you fell into a sewer-smelled well. Tell me, do you perhaps attract inauspicious circumstances, if it does? I couldn’t help but laugh at your misery.”

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡ ┊ @raideneiari ・@cynzcir・@louise-rosita-leroux┊{ send ask if you wish to be tag : OPEN } 

ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ: Hope you guys enjoyed this teaser of the upcoming fanfic series: Wanderer-San of Inazuma❣️ Inspired by! Toilet Bound of Hanako-kun. STAY TUNED, seelies ໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७✎▤ 

[fasterthanmydemons]

{out of breath} Alright folks, I know I'm getting on here late tonight, but it has not been a good day. I'll put some updates below a cut, but there's just a lot going on in my life right now that's not only taking away from time I have to write, but it's also leaving me without a lot of creativity or ability to concentrate. I would probably skip tonight if I could, because I'm exhausted and my focus is not really there to write, but I skipped last week, and will need to skip next week as well. So... I am here to do what I can tonight, but I apologize if it's a bit light. I'm doing the best I can, honestly. The next few weeks are going to be rough, but then I'm hoping maybe I can turn a corner and things will get better. Thank you for understanding, I know I've been absent a lot lately in recent months, but you've all been so supportive. Things will get better, I'm just not exactly sure when. <3

Okay so... for those who want to know what's going on... I found out this morning that I will need surgery to remove my gallbladder. This was anxiety-producing enough because I've never had surgery before in my life (unless you count wisdom teeth extraction), and people in my family rend to react poorly and dangerously to anesthesia. So I'm very anxious about this, and I've got a consultation with a surgeon next Monday to probably schedule a date to have this done in the near future.

In the meantime, I'm in a decent amount of pain, and I'm already on a restrictive diet that will likely become even more restrictive after surgery. I've been a comfort eater/baker all my life, that's my main coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, so this has been very damaging to my mental health to have my one go-to taken away.

While that was going on today, in the midst of calling doctors and making appointments and such, I've been working on a promotion package that's due the end of the week. I didn't want to apply for promotion because I don't really think I deserve it, but I also just want to keep things status quo. I'm fine with my job the way it is, and I don't need a promotion. But I've been informed that not applying may be one of the factors contributing to me potentially losing my job later this year, because I won't "seem ambitious enough." I'm just like... of course I'm not ambitious, I'm taking care of my grandmother, I've got health issues, I've got focus and memory issues post-Covid, yeah I just want things to stay the way they are. But I may lose my job if I don't show interest in advancement. So I've had to quickly write and gather everything to apply by Friday because I wasn't planning on doing it.

Then I found out today that the person I have to send all my promotion materials to, and one of two people who will be making the decision on whether or not I get promoted AND whether I keep my job going forward... is a woman who 1) stole my research in 2015 and rendered me unable to publish my own work because she stole it and published it first, and 2) got me laid off from my dream job in 2017 because she lied behind my back to the company we were conducting research for that I was no longer interested in the project, so that she could have all the project funding only for her lab. So I'm just like.... I am... so screwed. *sigh* My hope for keeping my job plummeted after that. That was my second panic attack of the day.

My third... was when I went out to get the mail, only to find out I've been summoned for jury duty. I mean seriously, life? Really? What the actual flippin' pancake?! I was like how am I going to manage this promotion application process, surgery, recovery, AND my students have their midterm this Friday and a forum assignment I have to grade the same day as my surgery consultation as well (the reason I have to skip this blog next week)... and then also add jury duty. After I calmed down, I went on the website and tried to do a medical deferral until the summer, when I would be between classes and hopefully over some of my health issues... which was thankfully accepted. So that at least has been resolved for the time being.

After that, I just... crashed so hard. I slept from 7PM to 11:30PM because the stress just hit hard. After dealing with some laundry that had been backing up, I am just now getting on here at 3AM, heh. So. That's. What's been going on. It's been... ALot™.

Once I have my surgery date, I'll know better when I have to go on hiatus for a bit, because I'll be in the hospital for a couple days with limited web access and then I'll be recovering at home, so I'm not sure how all of that is going to go. As soon as I know more, I'll let everyone know so that you'll know when I'll be gone and when I'm coming back.

Again, thank you for understanding. I'll be okay, it's just a seriously bad patch of life right now. This too shall pass, I know. I just wish it would hurry up, heh.

[eureka-its-zico]

hello! i absolutely love your writing!! <33 the latest zoro chapter is so good. i have never asked a question on here before and i hope this isn’t a bad or insensitive question to ask, but i was wondering if you had an update schedule for your stories? more specifically, the zoro one. again, hopefully that’s not a bad question to ask here :(( i really do love your stories and i always look forward to seeing you update! xx

Osiyo, my dear Nonnie!

First, I am honored I'm the first person you've felt comfortable enough to message and ask a question. So, thank you!! Secondly, your question is not insensitive or bad to ask! I wish I was more put together like other writers on tumblr where they had set dates for when they published their work. In all honesty, I write and once I edit it (the best that I can) I post it either the same day or the next day.

Sometime this week Chapter 7 will be posted. I've already started working on it (when I really should be working on my uni homework but, ya know, ADHD).

Thank you so much for stopping by, my dear nonnie, and for asking me questions and leaving me some love in my ask box. I hope you have a wonderful Monday, week, and night/morning wherever you are. Much love.