#I am gonna drag depth out of this book if i have to go in with a pickaxe and mine it myself

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Addendum to the chapter 1 post that I thought of later:

“Not this afternoon—haven’t got time. I must mosey up to the North End to see a man who has got a lovely throat. Nobody can find out what is the matter. He has puzzled all the doctors. He has puzzled me, but I’ll find out what is wrong with him if he’ll only live long enough.” This is Eric's best friend, a well known doctor, cosplaying as, like, 1900s Dr. House. No concern for the patient's well being, just a Mystery that must be solved. No wonder Eric has such a low opinion of doctors!

(Sidenote: those of you who Anne, what is Gilbert like as a doctor? Because TBC didn't have a great opinion of them, and this book is not shaping up to be too complimentary either. Did LMM just have a fairly poor opinion of doctors in general that colors her work?)

On to chapter two, and we meet an actually sympathetic character! Larry West seems like a lovely young man, and I hope he recovers fully and that he and Agnes Campion are blissfully happy together. Unlike either Eric or David, Larry actually seems to care about the people under his charge, i.e. his students. I already want him to be our protagonist instead.

"The former looked more like a benevolent old clergyman or philanthropist than the keen, shrewd, somewhat hard, although just and honest, man of business that he really was." Kilmeny of the Orchard, sponsored by the Better Business Bureau! There is absolutely an interesting thread to tease out across LMM's life and work that connects Eric Marshall to Barney Snaith, but I want to read more of this book before I make further commentary on that. But it does appear that Maud's opinions on rags-to-riches businessmen, uh, Evolved over the years.

Actually never mind, I'm gonna girl who's only ever read The Blue Castle this book a tiny bit more. Compare:

"And then those girls were as pretty as pinks, now weren’t they? Agnes was the finest-looking of the lot in my opinion. I hope it’s true that you’re courting her, Eric?”

and

“Prettiest girl in Montreal,” said Dr. Redfern. “Oh, she was a looker, all right. Eh? Gold hair—shiny as silk—great, big, soft, black eyes—skin like milk and roses. Don’t wonder Bernie fell for her. And brains as well. She wasn’t a bit of fluff. B. A. from McGill. A thoroughbred, too. One of the best families."

Women aren't really people, they are trophies and objects to be collected and revered. Barney grows out of this mentality through his travels. Eric... well it remains to be seen about Eric, doesn't it?

"Perhaps I am. When a man has had a mother like mine his standard of womanly sweetness is apt to be pitched pretty high." So we're getting the standards by which Eric judges a future wife and the role she will be expected to play. He wants a society hostess, a woman who can step seamlessly into his mother's shoes. He wants her to be sweet and serene and, presumably, beautiful and delicate like his mother in her portrait. David and Mr. Marshall both basically want him to marry Ethel Taverse -- beautiful, well brought up, good lineage, of the Right Sort. Eric... honestly Eric has such fantasy standards for a woman that in a different book the resolution would be that he realizes that he's gay. He's doing that doesn't-realize-they're-queer-yet thing of, "it's not that I don't like [expected other gender], it's just that I haven't found anyone yet with [vague laundry list of impossible qualities]." I know that doesn't always translate into queerness, but it's an experience that definitely rings true to my baby ace teenage years before I had the words or knowledge to accurately describe my experiences.

"In all likelihood the worst thing that will happen to you over there will be that some misguided woman will put you to sleep in a spare room bed. And if that does happen may the Lord have mercy on your soul!” Go to PEI, but don't consort with the locals! The Wrong Kind of Woman might tempt you! This book is a great primer on how classism and eugenics go hand in hand, isn't it?

So our plot has been set up for us. Eric, a young man in possession of a good fortune, is off to Prince Edward Island, where he will soon find himself in want of a woman to be his wife. She will either be a commoner, whom his family and friends think isn't good enough for him but whom he loves and will stand up for, or she will be a secret aristocrat, whom he will pluck out of her shabby surroundings and return to her birthright in high society. I want this book to go with option a, because it's more interesting, but from what I know of it it veers closer to option b instead.

(What he needs is an Anne Shirley to whack him upside the head with a slate and tell him to stop being such a jerk, but I'm not holding out hope.)

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks

Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-

I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"

Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place

You wanna know what Blitz said??

"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"

Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent

And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"

Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-

I hate this bird

I hate this fucking bird so much more now

This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......

Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross

I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs

Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back

This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.

Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were

Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again

Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay

Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack

Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!

He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!

Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason

This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.

The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.

Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development

Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right

Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.

If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

“You really look like shit,” Rey tells him as she plops into the booth across from him, moving linens and silverware aside to lean on the table. “You’ve worked every hour we’ve been open for the last five days. Please, go home. I don’t care about the overtime, I care about the fact that the bags under your eyes are scaring customers.” Hux shakes his head, not even looking up from the page in his thermodynamics text book he’s highlighting. “I’m two hundred dollars away from my tuition and the payment is due at midnight,” Hux tells her. ”If I don’t work this shift, I won’t graduate on time. So unless you have a pile of money hidden in this restaurant, you’ll have to drag me out kicking and screaming.” He doesn’t look up, but assumes Rey is drowning in the silence. “You look bad enough I’d almost pull it from my own wallet. Couldn’t you get an extension?” “The bursar waits for no man, woman, or stressed server,” Hux tells her drily, choosing not to share that he’s already at the end of his extension. With enough tears, the bursar will, in fact, wait for a man. He’d filled out three different forms and practically signed his firstborn child away for the extra seven days he had to get his shit together, all while trying to prepare for midterms. “If I have you some concealer, would you wear it?” she tries, and after a moments consideration and a sigh, he nods. “You’ll have to apply it, but if it gets you to leave me alone for the next hour until my shift starts, you can make me over after I clock in.” And then, thankfully, Rey leaves him be, lets him crawl back into the depths of his research and try to forget how little he’s got for groceries after his tuition is paid, and after that, his rent looms in the distance. If Hux weren’t working at a restaurant, he would surely have starved by now. As it was, French fries and strawberries weren’t the ideal diet for a grown man, but he makes due with what he’s got available for free. In theory, his shift starts in sixty minutes. If they stay slow after that, he may be able to keep studying during service and get his presentation finished what he gets home. Hopefully, he’ll be able to roll into bed at three in the morning and wake up at seven, giving him four precious hours of sleep before his eight AM class. Turning the page, Hux is so lost in the scratching of notes that the presence now sitting across the table form him is no more than an afterthought. Perhaps Rey, trying to make him over off company time, or another server who decided that desperation and sleep-deprivation provided excellent ambiance for rolling silverware. It’s not Hux’s favorite, but he truly doesn’t have the time to do anything about it. A plate slides across the table, just hitting the top of his text book, and Hux reaches blindly, grabbing a piece from it. Normally, it’s Phasma, trying to get a plant into his body via carrot medallions or blueberries. This time, it’s puff pastry wrapped around some sort of cheese, herb, and bacon mix. It’s more effort than she normally puts in to feeding him, so Hux takes the time to look up and thank her, only to find that Phasma is not sitting there, neatly cut finger nails tapping against the table. Instead, Solo is staring at him, a mix between blank and bored. “You don’t eat enough,” he says. “Low blood sugar leads to fainting, which is an incredible workplace hazard.”

---

fuck this is so funny to me but also now I want to make brie and herb roll ups this sounds good as hell

i don’t think bacon would actually suit the flavors though I’ll probably swap that out when I edit but for now it stays until I test it out. gonna have to buy my ass some parsley

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: June 2023

Summer months here we go! Just wrapped up my time with Zelda so I foresee more reading and tv in my future again. In the meantime, here’s how I spent June!

……….FILM……….

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) Saw it twice and the first time was very nearly too much to take in. The second viewing was far less overwhelming and still a joy. While it didn’t feel like a complete story following Miles, at least there’s some satisfying conclusion with Gwen. I’m glad part 2 comes out in less than a year. 

Ali Wong: Baby Cobra (2016) Maybe I wasn’t in the right mood or maybe going with one of her older specials wasn’t the right call but I wasn’t really feeling it. I can see hints of overlapping themes that pop up in BEEF (which I loved and why I wanted to watch one of her specials) but that was more interesting than it was funny. Still gonna check out her other specials.

Goldeneye (1995) I have more memories playing the game than watching the movie but still a big fan of this flick. Really great characters and locales and I forgot just how comedic it is. So many one-liners! Always feels a little long at the end but worth it to see Boris’ death scene.

Encanto (2021) Late to seeing this and really great! Beautiful and personal and peak musical songs where characters basically ONLY share their personality through song.

……….TELEVISION……….

Ted Lasso (Episode 3.11 to 3.12) I was really dragging my feet about finishing the series as I found season 3 wasn’t as consistently enjoyable to watch. But those last two eps really stuck the landing. Some beats were expected, some were welcome surprises, and there were so many callbacks that were naturally woven in that I was really impressed. Some of the best from the season (and on par with the rest of the series) and I’m really glad I finished it.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Do "gun buybacks" work? by Vox A really succinct breakdown of how the US can do better, and an honest look at why this needs to be a part of a more complex plan. VIDEO

Agnostic TTRPG Prep Method by Map Crow Really fun way to use all the books that you’re not currently using! Watch the vid and then if you like the process you can pick up the bundle HERE (not affiliated, just a fan). VIDEO

The Station Toronto Needs by RMTransit Hey I’m a big fan of trains and I just found this channel. This was my first introduction to them but I’m keen to watch more. More trains! VIDEO

How Editing Creates Comedies That Make You Cry... by The Editing Podcast Another channel I recently came across and I’m keen to watch more. I know very little about editing but am keen to learn more.  VIDEO

……….READING……….

Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber (Page 7 of 285) Clearly I’ve only just started this (thanks to me dragging my feet on The Righteous Mind) but really excited to dig deeper. The prologue is the original essay that inspired the book and that alone already has so much in it! A really great primer and I wasn’t expecting it to lay a lot of the blame at capitalism’s feet so I think it’s gonna be a great read. 

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt (Complete) The first time I read this (at a time when the COVID-19 vaccine was just coming out and folks were choosing not to get it) the book really helped me understand the reasoning behind other people’s choices. For that it was really helpful. This time around, with more time and more political moves behind us, I find it glaringly obvious just how out of touch (or conservative-leaning) this book is. There’s a whole section about how the free market and capitalism is good for healthcare. Wild stuff. If you want more in-depth reviews explaining why this didn’t sit right with me this time around, I found Storygraph had a lot of great write-ups (also Storygraph is great if you want an alternative to the amazon-owned Goodreads).

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 12 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Listen I sing this series’ praises every time I read a volume and this is no different. Somehow the story, setting, and characters grow while still remaining connected to the main theme of “what if we ate the monsters we fought in an RPG?” It’s truly top-tier and I can’t stress enough that if you like charming, funny, expertly-illustrated comics, you should try out this series.

The Fade Out by Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Elizabeth Dismang (Complete) Really fun read. Old Hollywood murder mystery with a lot of really nuanced characters. The resolution felt a little abrupt and unsatisfying, but without giving anything away I think it was appropriate. I’m also not sure if it was a stylistic choice but all of the women have different shadows than the men. It feels like they’re living in two different worlds but maybe that’s intentional? Still really great.

……….AUDIO……….

PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and the Beginning of Merciless Damnation by King Gizzard (2023) Loved King Giz’s first foray into metal and this continues that trend. I may not love everything that they do, but I love that they do everything that they do.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Tuesday Crew is currently up against a young dragon (Dragonette) plaguing a mine (recap HERE) while the Mof1 Crew is divided across Munchkin District and each dealing with their own small crisis. They say never split the party but I think the trouble gets way more interesting when you do.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo) Finally moving on from this after countless hours spent in this world and it’s all bittersweet. Loved the familiar stuff, loved the new stuff, and loved the overall arc of the game. Hopefully the next game in the series goes back to something smaller and focused.

And that’s it. See you in July!

[explosionshark]

3 and 25

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Alright HERE'S where I'm gonna answer for series - I already had a separate answer for standalone books

1. The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik (Scholomance #3) - LOVED this conclusion to the Scholomance trilogy. I read books 1 and 2 during December 2022 and did 3 in the first week of January and it was one of the most satisfying conclusions to a series I've ever read. And I'm NOT just saying that bc it's the book where most of the gay shit happens. Leaving the school and having the world open up so much felt so good. I love Orion but having him out of the way for most of the book felt like a good choice to me - it made a lot of room for El's relationships with other characters and the role she decides to take on in the fight against mals. I remember at some point while I was reading the earlier books skimming past some essay or other identifying the Scholomance as like a climate change metaphor and being so puzzled by it - and then getting to the end of Golden Enclaves and being like OHHHH. YEAH. I GET IT.

2. Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee (Green Bone Saga #3) - AGAIN talk about satisfying conclusions. I know some people didn't like this book as much especially bc of issues they have with Hilo at the beginning but to me it all felt in character and didn't diminish anything about my enjoyment. I enjoy how often Lee takes the time to remind the audience that the characters are flawed and sometimes petty or foolish or cruel, even while you root for them. The scale of this book surprised me - SO much time passes, the characters and the world all change so much. I was genuinely shocked by some of the things that happened in this book. I've still got Jade Shards and The Jade Setter of Janloon to go, but man am I gonna be sad to say goodbye to this setting (at least for a while). Absolutely one of my all-time favorite fantasy series of all time now.

3. The Traitor by Anthony Ryan (Covenant of Steel #3) - honestly this could be any of the Covenant of Steel books. I just finished The Traitor this past weekend but this isn't a recency bias thing - I read The Pariah and The Martyr back to back in August. There's something I really love about Ryan's style - his characters are fucked up but compelling, his worlds feel accessible but still like they have depth and intricacy. I love his Seven Swords novellas and I'm constantly trying to get people to read them bc I think they're a great way to get a taste for his strengths as a writer and hopefully enough to whet your appetite for a more complex, in depth series like Covenant. The books are detailed and they definitely have some parts that can drag a little - but when you DO get hooked they're just propulsive. Super compelling low fantasy that builds and builds in really interesting ways. Great characters.

4. Before They are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie (First Law Book #2) - alright First Law is like TRUE grimdark. Seriously - the end of the final book was extremely brutal. Which is why book 2 ended up being my favorite of the first trilogy, actually. Before They are Hanged is the most straightforward adventure story of the bunch and it has a relatively optimistic ending. There are still gruesome and brutal things happening on the page (and frequently!) but there's such a strong sense of momentum building. The character work for Jezal in this book is so damn good - Abercrombie got me to do a full 180 on him here. (And a 360 by the third book lmao). Abercrombie is a masterful writer, the dark humor running through the story helps keep it readable when things get very bleak.

5. The Justice of Kings by Richard Swan (Empire of the Wolf #1) - another grimdark fantasy that whips ass tbh. Really great low fantasy setting. Something I really enjoyed in Empire of the Wolf books AND in the Covenant of Steel is the conflict between state power and religious power and how the people losing the most are the commons in the middle. Justice of Kings sets this up beautifully - I loved the way it slowly zooms out to this larger world-altering conflict after beginning the story as a sort of medieval fantasy murder-mystery. I also think the magic system is so cool and scary. The atmosphere in this book was incredible too - even just thinking back on it makes everything feel miserable and wet and tense despite the fact that as I write this it's kind of picturesquely sunny with white fluffy clouds outside for me. (I DO have to finish the follow-up book Tyranny of Faith, but I think I'll probably pull that off in January next year tbh)

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

I wanna continue on with more series! And I want to keep challenging myself with long books. I got some Tad Williams stuff in a humble bundle earlier this year, so I'm thinking of taking on Memory Sorrow and Thorn next year as a way to satisfy this desire. A little intimidated by the length but I think it could end up being v rewarding.

End of Year Book Asks

[orionsangel86]

I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.

[bobbinalong]

updated wip. frankly, i don't know how long this'll be, this might be mostly done, it might not, it's 5am and my brain is starting to turn to mush.

He shifted uncomfortably in the hard orange plastic chair, desperate to chew on his nails, hyper aware of the woman next to him, who, though slumped and exhausted, would no doubt look up if he took off his mask.

He couldn't let her see him.

The lines were starting to blur.

His eyes, too.

The Robin tunic itched underneath his ill-fitting hospital scrubs.

"You're … a nurse, right?"

Crystal glanced up at him. Cleared her throat.

"I … Yes. I am."

"So, how long … I mean. Hm. You know how long these things usually take, then, right? C-sections. Do they take long? Do you think they're almost done?"

He didn't turn his head to look at her, instead staring at the clock above the waiting room door, but he saw her straighten in the corner of his eye, saw her wipe stray tears from her flushed cheeks with her sleeve.

She looked almost as tired as the first time he'd seen her.

She hadn't in months.

Her voice was soft when she replied.

"I'm not sure how long we've been here, to be honest with you. It's all been such a haze. But c-sections usually take about fourty minutes. Fifty, maybe. You know how these things go."

He didn't.

"Never quite the same twice."

It had been ten minutes since they'd shooed him out of the room.

They had felt like an hour. They had felt like a day.

Time didn't move quite right in hospital waiting rooms.

He wondered if they'd have let him stay with Stephanie if he'd lied and said he was the baby's father. He was sick with worry for her, itching to get back into that room, where he'd do nothing but get in the nurses' way.

He fiddled with his gloves.

He'd rarely felt so useless.

Robin was supposed to help, not sit around where he wasn't needed, uniform hidden from view, counting the seconds loudly ticking by.

But he wasn't Robin now, was he?

He was just Steph's boyfriend, out of his depth, scared out of his mind.

Crystal took his hand, then.

Tim blinked in surprise.

"I'm glad you're here, Alvin."

She tried to smile.

There was no covering her worry.

"You are?"

"I don't know exactly what you and Steph are to each other." She sighed, thumb rubbing slow circles on the back of his hand. "But I do know that you mean an awful lot to her. She was asking for you the whole way here. And she must be important to you, too. I don't know many teenage boys who'd show up at four in the morning to hold their friend's hand through something like this."

Her smile reached her eyes for a moment.

He felt his ears burn.

"Yeah, well … I kinda love her."

He looked down at the tip of his right boot. Couldn't help but shake his head.

"And I'm not even holding her hand."

"Neither am I." She squeezed his fingers. "But at least I've got yours, huh?"

"Yeah …"

He bit his lip.

"Mrs Brown? She'll be fine, right? I mean … this is standard. Normal stuff. This happens all the time. Steph's gonna be good and the baby's gonna be good and … and …"

And he wished Batman had covered labour and delivery more extensively in their medical training. Or that he'd picked up the baby book on Steph's nightstand when he'd last been in Gotham, at least. Has had trouble even remembering those few birthing classes he'd taken her to.

"I just …"

And now his lip was quivering.

Great.

"You're worried about Steph. So am I. That's why I'm glad you're here. But you're also right⁠—she will be alright. The doctor knows what she's doing. The nurses do, too. She's in very good, very capable hands."

Tim nodded.

Sniffled.

Tried to blink away a tear and failed.

He dragged his free hand across his face.

⁠"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, kid. This is all … a lot."

"Mmh."

"You know, Steph was born by C-section, too. It wasn't as scary as all this, though. We'd known she was breech. Tried everything to get her to turn around, but you know Stephanie⁠—she's nothing if not stubborn, always has been. Gets it from both sides, too", another sigh, "so it's not like she stood much of a chance in that regard."

He smiled.

"What was she like as a baby? Besides stubborn, I mean?"

"Oh, she was very by the books. Hit all the right milestones at all the right times. And as soon as she could crawl, she was everywhere at once, getting into everything. I suppose that hasn't changed much, either."

This time, he snorted.

Crystal patted his hand.

"She was a better kid than I deserved. Still is."

Her eyes drifted to the clock.

His followed.

"Do you know⁠—?"

"Twenty minutes. I mean, it's been twenty minutes. So they might be halfway done now, right?"

"They might."

In another twenty or thirty minutes, his girlfriend would be a mother.

Or maybe she already was.

Which made him think.

"Mrs Brown?"

"Hm?"

"When we talked on the phone the other day … Steph and I, I mean … she mentioned … well, I mean, … I know you guys set up for an adoption and all, but it sounded like … like maybe she wasn't sure about that. And I just …"

He furrowed his brow.

Bounced his leg nervously.

"I guess I just wondered if she said something about that. To you. Because … Hm. I didn't react too well."

"It's a difficult decision to make. One I can't imagine having to make, let alone at sixteen. And I know Stephanie's been having second thoughts about the adoption for a while now. I'm not sure she'd made up her mind by the time she went into labour. We'll have to wait and see."

"Oh."

His fingers tapped an erratic rhythm against his knee.

"And you'd be fine with that?"

When she let go off his hand, he felt deprived somehow.

He lifted his chin when Crystal stood up.

Her steps echoed quietly through the empty waiting room.

"Why would I not?"

"I don't … I don't know. I guess … well, you've not prepared for a baby, right? You didn't expect to take one home."

She waved her hand as if to dismiss his concerns.

"Those things can be figured out. What's important is that Steph can live with her decision.

[bookstorethembo]

Gods I’m struggling so hard to finish my first wlw pick of 2024 and I should just dnf it probably because its almost pride month and life is too short for books you feel like you are cold brewing brain cells to sit through. But then I get on goodreads and see a woman say “dnf- the two girls who fall in love, fall in love with each other” and someone comments on that review and says “thanks, was tbr but took it off”. Like.

This is a fiction novel, not a romance, first of all. Now if you’re gonna drag it for being over the top, doin too much, not having a conflict or series of conflicts serious enough to produce a character arc through, stagnate characters that could have depth but didn’t because we used up all our effort creating the most ridiculous fluff for parts that could have been easily edited to make a better reading experience, or anything about editing in general because jesus I have some suggestions- fine. Yeah. I probably will too. I haven’t decided yet. That’s why this rant is here and not a dnf review on goodreads right now.

But in the year of our lord 2024, can anybody who has gotten this far in the rant please look at their mother or their grandmother for the love of gods and tell them if they read about a queer character it doesn’t make them queer. Jesus Hoobastank Christ. When ya get to the gay part, they kiss, and then the character breaks the fourth wall (not saying that’s good either but literally how it is written) to say “…that was that and if you wanna know how it works between two women go ask someone else cause I’m tired of explaining it so lets skip on down to the after party” essentially. Like the author goes out of the way to ShOw YOU that you aren’t being ShOWN ANYTHING.

So if you literally can’t exist in a world where one flat character says to another flat character I think girls are pretty and you’re a girl and you’re funny and that makes me want to kiss you, literally the most middle school shit ever, why do you even pick up a book. Any book. Ever.

Gods I’m so irritated. I am leaving this here because I don’t know if I want to address the most immature version of homophobia I have ever witnessed from a woman twice my age in my actual review or not.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Rant.

[sunflowersteves]

here i am, asking for a 🍋 being steve's sister and having a crush on his best friend, robin buckley <3

of course, love!! hope you enjoy :)

join my sleepover <3

you were adopted by the Harringtons when you were three

and so, you were raised in the small town of Hawkins

you and your brother were the same age, mostly your parents wanted steve to have a sibling that was the same age

so here you were, adopted by the harringtons

as you grew up with one another, begrudgingly with “king steve,” that also means you survived the depths of hell together

or you guess, whatever the upside down was

and also Russians

you were there when Robin cracked the code, you were there when you, Dustin, and Erica took care of drugged Robin and Steve

you were there for vecna taking over max, you were there in the upside down with everyone

you were there for everything

and so, that means that your cute little tiny crush on Steve’s best friend had increased tenfold

you both had been through so much and you didn’t understand how she could just wash away your worries with a light joke or pat on the shoulder

which made you realize that you didn’t just have a crush on her, you were in love with her

in love with your brother’s best friend was not your finest moment

“will you stop staring so creepily and just ask her out already?”

you rolled your eyes at eddie, flicking his shoulder, “you know it’s not that easy.”

eddie just flicked your shoulder back, “I think,” he dragged out his words, “that it’s much easier than you think.”

he then stood up from the booth, the plates chattering on the table from his movement

“all you have to do is profess your undying love for the girl of your dreams. it’s pretty simple math, ya know.”

he booped your nose before taking another sip of the sweet, sweet caffeine in his hands

you sighed, picking at your food with your fork, “but she likes vicky.”

eddie just rolled his eyes, “that was literally last year, already. she’s moved on!”

you just shook your head, your stomach turning inside out with each glance that you gave Robin and Steve

you looked so helpless and eddie couldn’t help but sigh

but then he felt determined, there was no way he was going to let his best friend sulk

so he takes your hand, shoving you out of your seat before pushing you towards their table

which, the amount of profanities you spew out at him, he thought he should make a swear jar

you stood there like a deer in headlights as Steve turns his attention towards you

“hey, sis, what’s up?” steve inquired before shoving a bite full of pancakes in his mouth

shit. fuck. it was definitely too late to run now

Robin looked at steve disgustingly for a second before turning towards you, “hey, harrington.”

you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, nerves bubbling inside of you as you stared into your eyes

Steve looked you up and down in confusion before the light bulb going on in his head

yeah, you thought you were sly, but he read you like an open book

the only other time you acted like this was for anne mcfield 

it was pretty obvious that you liked Robin—like really really like Robin.

“I’m gonna go pay the bill.” steve then gets up from the booth and over towards the front of the diner

Robin played with her food a bit before looking back up at you—and you could’ve sworn you saw a slight blush

that made you shy, so shy, but you knew that it was now or never

“I was wondering, um,” was it hot in here? because it sure felt like you were burning up, “if you wanted to go to the movies? I-I heard a new movie is out. I think the labyrinth is what it’s called?”

holy fuck, you felt like you were full on sweating

you had to practically clam your mouth shut so you stop talking

she swallowed, “l-like a date?”

you couldn’t look at her in the eyes, “yeah, um, if-if you want to?”

her eyes squinted slightly, flickering towards Steve and then you

but then she saw your state: shy expression, shaking hands, tongue licking your lips

holy fuck, you were actually asking her out, for real

she then started to smile, which blew all of the air out of your lungs

she twitched her head slightly to the side, which you almost choked on air with how adorable it was

“I would love to, harrington.”

[birdie-ghost]

May I ask, how do you go on and plan out your comics or work?

I am actually in the midst of working on my own au. I am only on the outline rn, since I had to change some of what is canon vs what isnt. Just so it makes sense following my OWN au.

;_;

I thought maybe, if I saw or learned how you planned out your work,

It may help with the process not being soo overwhelming:")

It's quite alright if you don't want to really. I get it that you have many others ask to look into and busy yourself with your own work :00!!

But regardless, i thank you in advance <33

Well..... it all starts by contracting fandom brain rot at some point in time, sometimes its cus your friends drag you into their hyperfixation and other times its just cus the internet is the internet.

But actually normally I just doodle stuff!! I have a bunch of those little 5 dollar books you can get at michaels that are dot-grided. And I just draw little mini interactions, no boarders or words, just the characters faces. It's like playing with dolls but instead you're drawing the characters while you do it lol

That gives me the ideas and helps me have more of an understanding of how I'm gonna write the characters and such. Now, I would reccommennnnnd writing and planning out a general idea for what you want your story to be,not in depth like a fanfiction, more like a brainstorm, use whatever method you like lol. I usually do a tree or just a list of points that I want to show up in the comic. When I write out those points it helps me make the in-between more clearly conected and filled. You don't have to though it just helps if you're doing a longer-run comic.

Thumbnail!! I went on a whole post about this a little while ago but this question is slightly different haha

Sometimes things might not look exactly how you like, but if you're really commited to it there is a certan point where you just need to say "fuck it" and move on. I have a good couple of frames and pages in my own comics where I've had to do this. It's really hard to get everything to look exactly right every time, and it's okay for things to be less clean then others sometimes!!

And finally, just start, don't worry about the details so much. everyone starts somewhere and I don't want to hear you go on about how you're "not good enough yet" Cus I call BULLSHIT!!

[emelkae]

Hey Emel, nice meeting you, I got a weird timing question for you. I have been reading through your novel tag - it's so amazing it's published btw - and I would like to ask, what's the story behind this story? How did you come up with it? How was writing it? What are the plans with the sequels? What are your favourite kind of scenes to write - I'm seeing hurt/comfort, siblings and brothers which are my fave things ever so I'm squalling - in short: what kind of writer are you? I wanna know

@writingonesdreams

Thank you so much 😊 That makes me remember that I should've tagged more stuff honestly lol, I have so much Wannabe content

This answer ended up loooong, so I'm putting it under a cut:

The War Machines series started as an AU fic idea. It turns out that if you keep asking "what if," scramble up traits, change dynamics, and add new goals and new characters, you're gonna end up with whole novel full of OCs. Or... a trilogy of novels. I'm happy that my little AU scene got so wildly out of hand.

I could easily write the prequel to Wannabe now, but the sequel (Warrior) was giving me a ton of trouble. I recently figured out why:

I write best out of order; the first scene I wrote in Wannabe ended up in chapter nine I think. For Warrior, I was trying to start at chapter one and placing loads of importance on it, then writing myself into corners and having to scrap my draft over and over and over and over. I'm going to start writing the scenes I want to first and then filling in extra stuff the way I did with book one.

The goal I had in mind for the characters in Wannabe was "how can I get the Machines to realize how deep their bond is/how can I heal them?" But the goal for Warrior was literally "what sort of painful stuff can I put these characters through to make them develop" and that ended up dragging the tone down a LOT, obviously. So I need to keep in mind that even though there are some heavy topics they have to deal with, this series is ultimately about love.

I was overthinking character arcs and motivations. Instead of coming up with something external for them to deal with and letting the internal changes happen naturally, I was coming up with internal changes first and then forcing situations that would make them change the way I wanted them to. Basically, I was treating my characters like tools or puppets instead of letting them grow organically, and then not understanding why every plot point and interaction seemed so stilted. So now I'm just gonna Put Those Boys in Situations and let them tell me how they're feeling.

Even if none of the 100k+ words in my scrapped drafts end up making it into Warrior, I don't see the time as wasted at all. I've learned so, so much more about writing in the past year alone than I've learned from every class or book on writing I've ever taken/read.

I really really like writing angst and whump hehe, but I tend to get heavy-handed with the Angst Hammer in my original stuff. I think it's pretty easy to write character development that way. While there are angsty parts in Wannabe for sure, there's also fluff and a ton of bonding in between crazy action scenes. I especially love subverting romance tropes to make them platonic, hopefully adding a depth to Found Family outside of "these people are around each other a lot."

I can't mention the War Machines series without also mentioning @avrablake. Avra was honestly the reason I ended up learning so much. She has this incredible knack for offering feedback and criticism in a way that ends up feeling so encouraging, and she always gets me to think deeper about my plot and characters than I could on my own. I am truly grateful for the time she's spent on helping me through the best and worst of my ideas.

I'm about to start trying to write my sequel again. I have a few scene ideas and I'm itching to play around with them :)

[beigehearts]

The adult trio getting embarrassed- drabbles I was wondering what would make them embarrassed and I was gonna make hcs but I thought that it would be more immersive and make more sense if it was a story . Also I feel like only verbal affection and emotional affection could affect illumi and hisoka so they have fluff stories but since Chrollo is somewhat more stable- verbal and emotional affirmation doesn't get him embarrassed so his is a bit nsfw fem!reader

Illumi (fluff)

He's been gone for weeks, leaving his girlfriend behind at their quiet and lonely apartment. Illumi doesn't live with you- he lives in an absolute mansion so why would he? But he spends a lot of time with you, in your apartment. Some nights after a long day at work, you'll come home and he will be sleeping in your bed or staring out the window, waiting for you.

Though you haven't had those fun surprises lately, he's taken on a big mission and you've learned you'd rather not know what it is he doing so you don't ask. It's getting quite lonely and your job as a secretary hasn't been letting up. Your boss just got a big contract so work has been hectic.

You push the door closed behind you with your foot, dropping your bag at the door and groaning. What a day, your fingers hurt after typing non stop today. There's no time to make dinner, there's no time to get dressed in pajamas, there's no time when you have the dire need to sleep. As you walk towards the bedroom, you kick off your shoes, shed your shirt and skirt. Once you reach the bedroom you see the line of clothes leading to you, but you don't really care at the moment. You throw the pins from your hair into the darkness of the room.

That beautiful bed is only steps away, the oasis from the desert you've been navigating all day. You crawl into the bed, eyes closing before you even get under the covers, but once you are you wonder if heaven is real and if it's your bed. Your eyes shut with a mind of their own, and only seconds later you're dragged into the dark depths of your mind.

It must have been hours, it's still dark out so not too long though. You force your eyes open as if there are weights holding them down. You immediately recognize the unusual warmth around you and a smile pulls at your lips.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home today?" You ask sleepily.

He kisses your forehead, "I didn't think about it."

You nuzzle your face into his chest, and he holds you closer. "You know, I missed you. A lot." You try to dig further into his chest but you're as close as you can be to him. "I was worried, you didn't message me the whole time you were gone. Do you know how lonely I was?"

His brows furrow though you can't see it. "You were lonely?"

You nod, "It felt like part of me was missing. I was worried I would be left empty forever. You said it would be a week and it's been eight." A sigh escapes you, "It's hard to not be around the person you love most Illumi."

It goes silent, and you look up at his face to see if he has anything to say. His face is flushed, you can even see it in the dark. It's such a contrast to his pale skin. He always acts weird when you say you love him or imply it.

Your small smile grows into a large grin, "I'll wait for you to say you love me back."

Hisoka (fluff, slightly sexual)

Classes have been difficult, you failed your big test and you practically got on your knees and begged your professor to let you retake it. You already know you're in for a long night of studying. Which means you're also in a night for a moody boyfriend. You will have to make it up to him later though, this test is too important for you to be worried about anything else.

On the way home your friend asks you to come over to help her with some problem with her laptop. You went and helped even though you really already should've been home. Your old beat up car scrapes through the coffee shop drive through at 5 pm, and you grab yourself a super caffeinated coffee to help you through the night.

The house is quiet when you get home, which is perfect, that way you'd have a little while to study without a whiny boyfriend. An hour or so later, you're sitting cross legged on your chair, leaning forward and highlighting things in your book. One leg bounces with the energy of caffeine, though half of you is ready to pass out.

The front door creaks open but you pay it no mind. You're beginning to connect ideas to one another and you can't let anything stop you. The clicking steps towards your chair are nothing but background noise at the moment. Long, muscular arms wrap around you from behind. "Pet, I had a long day, come lay with me." He whines in your ear.

You don't say anything, the squeaking of your highlighter against the paper says enough.

"I can give you a massage, I'm sure you need it." His hands roam your form but you continue doing what you need to.

While still highlighting and writing things down on a piece of a paper, you say, "Tomorrow night, I'm really busy Hisoka. I need to pass this retake tomorrow. It's important."

Obviously that isn't a good enough answer when he grabs you by your hair and pulls your head back. You know he isn't being mean, he knows you like your hair pulled and hopes it gets your attention. Obviously it does but you don't show it.

"Oh come on baby, just lay down with me for a little bit."

You pull your head forward even though he still has a tight grip on your hair. His lips wander your neck, sucking at random spots on your skin, leaving blossoming red marks.

You stand up abruptly and drag Hisoka to the couch. You push him on it and straddle him. You sigh and lean towards his face, "Hisoka Morrow- I am trying to do work."

He grins and his hands travel down your back until they end up holding your ass, and bringing you closer to him. He begins grinding up into you, and he holds down your hips. You try your best not to react and you end up groaning and grabbing his face in both hands. He pauses when you bring his face close to yours, sharing the same breath.

"Hisoka Morrow." You say in a commanding voice. "Do you know how much you mean to me? I think of you every moment and it's hard to think about anything else. The restraint it takes to not hold on to you every time I see you is immense. Can't you understand that you're controlling my every single waking moment? I will love you forever and forever is a long time so give me one night of our forever for me to study."

His eyes widen, and his lips are parted slightly in awe. And for the first time ever, you've seen him look vulnerable, a blush of his you've never seen before. Sex was one thing but all of this emotion and promise at once is so overwhelming. Butterflies flutter in your stomach and he speaks up.

"I suppose once night is okay if it's part of our forever."

Chrollo (sexual, nudity) 

It’s been a lonely few days, and Chrollo’s birthday is coming up. He has been really busy with what he calls work, and you’ve been sitting at home, working remotely since you wanted to watch over the house. You never know when you’re dating the leader of the phantom troupe, someone might try to rob you or worse.

For your lover’s birthday you want to do something special, something that’ll make him really happy. It’s hard with Chrollo because he can have anything he wants in the world, so what do you get him? He’s always appreciative of anything you give him and is very sentimental- but you always feel inadequate. What’ll make him happy that he can’t just go steal?

Two hours until he gets home. You have the cake on the table that you decorated to the best of your abilities. (He always says he prefers home cooked/baked goods to bought ones.) The entire house is lit up with nothing but candles. Each of the candles being his favorite scent, Beachwood. He always talks about how you guys need to go on a trip to the beach, and is a sucker for anything ‘beach’ scented. Chrollo is such a romantic as if it weren’t obvious so you laid out rose petals on the dining room table and around it. 

It’s already dark and kind of hard to see, but you settle yourself down on the table, sitting next to the cake. You try to find different poses you think you would look good in until you hear the jiggle of door knob. A dose of panic shoots through you. Is this too much? Is he even going to like it? What if he’s grossed out? 

The door opens and a tired Chrollo enters, closing his eyes and sighing, “What a long day.” He sniffs the air, “It smells good in here y/-” He’s cut off at the sight of you.

A beautiful figure resting on the dining room table, covered by nothing but red lingerie panties and stockings, your bare breasts exposed. His mouth is agape just from looking at you, he shuts the door behind him with his foot. He kicks his shoes off and shrugs off his jacket, leaving it on the floor as he stumbles towards you. 

He places himself between your legs and pulls you closer to him on the table. “What’s the occasion?” He asks oblivously.

You chuckle and run a hand through his slicked hair, “It’s your birthday darling.” You can barely make it out but his pale cheeks become slightly rosy in the dim light. “So are you going to stand there or what?” You ask sarcastically.

He wraps your legs around his waist and picks you up, not missing his chance to hold your ass as he carries you. Your lips meet his feverishly, and desperately, you part only to ask, “Do you like your present?”

He lays you gently on the bed with a flushed face and devious smile, “It’s perfect darling.” 

[sarahwroteathing]

Take a Chance (2)

[Sam Wilson x Reader]

Word Count: 1062

Summary: Sam draws you out of your comfort zone to spend an evening with the team.

Warnings: Vague social anxiety

A/N: Look at me posting twice in a week! Wack. Chapter 1 if you missed it

@star-spangled-bingo​ 2021 Square Fill: Cuddling

That weekend, after much coaxing (whining), arguing (complaining), and outright bribery (outright bribery), Sam convinced you to spend an evening with him and his fellow Avengers. A hard won victory considering you generally spent any time off as far away from the compound and all associated individuals as possible. 

“You are going to owe me at least ten favors for this,” you sighed when Sam met you at the elevator, tugging self consciously at the hem of your skirt.

“And here I was about to tell you how nice you look. I’m gonna owe you favors for hanging out with me?” Sam offered you his arm with a curious smile, and you took it without hesitation, eyes still flashing around the room, cataloguing the showroom- esque furnishings and the impressive people they supported. Bucky and Steve lounging on a couch, beers in hand. Clint sprawled on the floor, apparently already asleep while Wanda tossed pretzels at him. The relative relaxation in the room didn’t ease your tension in the slightest.

“You’re gonna owe me favors for making me come back here and spend my day off with people who probably consider themselves my bosses,” you corrected in a low voice, flashing a smile and wave at the few calls of greeting your entrance had prompted. 

“Oh trust me, nobody here is stupid enough to try bossing you around,” a new voice cut in, making both you and Sam jolt in surprise. Natasha materialized at your side, linking her arm with yours in a familiar way Sam wasn't sure your relationship warranted. “Steve might even be scared of you.”

“Please,” you scoffed. “He is in no way afraid of me. What am I gonna do? Write a strongly worded email?”

“He’s impressed by you. Which I think is the closest he gets to being scared of someone,” Sam said, not missing the pleased little smirk that flickered across your lips for a moment. 

“You been bragging on me, Sam?” you asked, leaning your head on his shoulder and fluttering your eyelashes in a way that made his stomach flip despite your teasing smile. 

“Constantly,” Natasha answered as she started to steer you towards the low couches on the right side of the room. 

“Interesting.” You dragged Sam along with you, keeping a firm grip on his arm to avoid separation. “And here I thought all he did was complain about how much time I spend at work.”

“He does that too,” Bucky mumbled from his place on the couch, leveling a baleful look at Sam. “It’s annoying.” 

“It is annoying,” you agreed, earning a begrudging nod of approval from Barnes before Steve hopped up from his seat with a polite smile.

“It’s nice to see you out from behind the desk though. Thanks for joining us.” He offered you his hand, but Sam slapped it down.

“Man, you’re not interviewing her. This is a movie night.”

Steve held up his hands in surrender, an annoyingly knowing smile on his lips. 

“Fine. Plenty of food and drinks on the table. Help yourself since manners are off limits.”

Sam rolled his eyes and followed you to the table as Natasha shook a dozing Clint awake. 

“What movie are we watching?” you asked quietly, nudging Sam gently as he poured your drinks.

Natasha is the one who answered.

“We’ve been doing a tour of the genre classics. Tonight is the original Friday the 13th.”

“Brace yourself for Kevin Bacon in tiny red shorts,” Clint said with a yawn. “It's a lot to handle sober, so I suggest drinking. Heavily.”

“Can’t be any smaller than the blue ones Steve used to wear,” Bucky commented mildly. “But maybe the tights helped.”

“Wait - ”

“What?”

“What?”

“You have no proof,” Steve responded smugly.

“I’m sure some of those posters survived.”

“None that made the shorts obvious.”

“There will obviously be some in-depth internet searching after this is over, but let’s focus up. We’ve got a movie to heckle,” Sam cut in as you tugged him onto an empty couch with you. 

There was a chorus of sighs and vague shuffling as everyone claimed their spaces and settled in. 

Under different circumstances, Sam might have considered this a successful movie night. Clint and Natasha offered well-timed commentary, and Steve and Wanda’s purposefully stupid questions made even Bucky laugh. But while you smiled along and responded cheerfully to any comments directed your way, you never seemed fully engaged. Your posture just a bit too stiff, laughter coming a beat too late, like you weren’t sure it was welcome. Like you didn’t know it was Sam’s favorite sound.

You were out of your element here, far past the bounds of your comfort zone, and it showed. But it was a sacrifice you were making for him, because he wanted you here, because he’d asked. 

Most days, Sam couldn’t tell whether you liked him the way that he liked you. He still couldn’t. But maybe you being here meant something. So he decided to try again.

Sam carefully slid his hand into yours, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen as another camp counselor met a grizzly fate. He caught your glance in his peripheral vision but didn’t turn, keeping his demeanor casual and calm as your fingers laced together and you scooted closer on the couch.

“All the things you’ve seen, and scary movies can still getcha, huh?” you whispered, giving his hand a squeeze. 

And no that wasn’t at all why he wanted to hold your hand, but it was hard to correct you when you were looking at him like that. Your eyes were sympathetic, smile comforting, as you reached to press his hand between both of yours. 

“Guess so,” Sam answered evenly, thoroughly enjoying the way your thumb stroked gently over his wrist. 

A conspiratorial spark flickered into your eyes and you leaned a bit closer. 

“As long as you don’t sleep with Kevin Bacon I think you should be fine.”

“Damn. There go my evening plans.”

There was a laugh, a genuine one, sudden enough to make you snort as you dropped your head against his shoulder to muffle the sound. Sam grinned as you made an effort to calm yourself. You turned to face the movie again but stayed nestled against his shoulder, giving his hand another squeeze when he tilted his head to rest it against yours.

------------------

We’ve got these two crazy kids cuddling, and that’s what I call PROGRESS. What’s the mood? How are we feeling about their prospects? What would you like to see from them?

Reblogs, comments, and asks make the world go round!

Chapter 3

-------------------

Tags: @shifutheshihtzu​ @internalbullshit​ @lilasiannerd-blog​ @kennadance14 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory​ @iwillbeinmynest​ @scotlandasshole​ @netflixa​ @hardcorehippos​ @singingprincessstudent​ @sophiealiice​ @blue1928​ @tinuviel015​ @jacks-on-krack​ @a-book-pressed-rose​ @fvckjamesbarnes​ @bbparker​ @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @breezy1415  @orangespocks 

[anais-mitchell]

a comprehensive list of every never before seen hadestown lyric revealed in “working on a song”

Note: This list will not include any lyrics from the OBCR, Broadway previews documented in audios, the London run, the Edmonton run, or the NYTW run. Only lyrics that Anaïs has never revealed before. Also, I strongly recommend everyone actually read the book and support Anaïs! It has amazing insights into the show we love. 

(Also, any ellipses mean the song just goes into the lyrics we already know)

Wedding Song

In early Vermont productions, Wedding Song did not exist; there was another duet called Everything Written.

Fates: Seven Sisters / Little Dipper / Great Bear, Hunter / Drinking Gourd / Libra, Leo / Pisces, Pluto / Venus, Virgo / Capricorn

Eurydice: Don’t it make, don’t it make you feel so small? / Orpheus, when you look up at it all? / When I look into the skies / I lose my head for scale and size / And still you’re larger in my eyes / Than any star / You pull on me like gravity / I want to be where you are

They say that everything is written / Everything written in those stars / The very lives we’re living / The very love in our hearts

Orpheus: Who could write, who could write this kind if love? / From such a height, all these light-years up above? / And all these light-years down below / I don’t need any star to show me / What my heart already knows / Eurydice / You pull on me like gravity / I want to be where you are

Eurydice: Come here

Orpheus: I’m here

Eurydice: It’s so cold

Orpheus: So clear

Eurydice: It’s so dark

Orpheus: So fair

Eurydice: Come near

Orpheus: I’m here

Eurydice: You’re there

A workshop version of Wedding Song included this exchange:

Eurydice: You have a way with words don’t you? It’s too bad none of them are true

Orpheus: It’s not a lie- It’s poetry

Eurydice: How many mouths does a poem feed?

Epic I

From 2007 Vermont:

Orpheus: King of diamonds, king of spades! / First there was Hades, king of the dirt / Miners of mines, diggers of graves / They bowed down to Hades who gave them work /  And they bowed down to Hades who made them sweat / Who paid them their wages and set them about / Digging and dredging and dragging the depths / Of the Earth to turn its insides out / Singing la la la la la la la...

Then came Persephone, Hades’s wife / Our Lady of Shadows and Meadows entwined / Made to spend half of the days of her life / Right alongside of him down in the mine / But the other half she could walk in the sun / And the sun in turn burned half as bright / Which is where the seasons come from / And with them the cycle / Of the seed and the sickle / And the lives of the people / And the birds in their flight / Singing la la la la la la la...

So it was and it might have stayed / And the sun came up and the sun went down / A circle of fourths, a perfect cadence / The serpent’s tail in the serpent’s mouth / But the strong will take what they want to take / And the weak can only tell the tale / And the king began to lay his heavy hand upon the scale / What did he want? He wanted Our Lady / To have and to hold, not half, but wholly / To love him and never to leave him again / And as for the seasons, to hell with them! / And the earth warmed over in the dead of winter / The stillborn spring lay cold beneath /  Summer gave a stormy sermon / Autumn walked in the wake with a wreath / And the people moved like weather patterns / Looking for shelter, looking for warmth / Helter-skelter the four winds scattered / The scavengers over the ravaged earth / Singing la la la la la la la...

From a workshop, presumably pre-London:

Hermes: Orpheus was a poor boy / But he had a gift to give / There was one song he’d been working on / He could never seem to finish / A song about this broken world / That he rewrote again and again / As though if he could find the words / He could fix the world with them

Livin’ It Up On Top

From pre-NYTW workshops:

Persephone: A hundred sunny summer days / Till my lover comes to find me / A hundred blooming olive trees / And a hundred grapevines climbing / Singing songs when the sun goes down / Light the fire in the darkness / Brother, pass that bottle around / And we’ll raise a glass to the harvest, it’s / Just enough fruit for the pressing / Just enough wine to fill our cups / But what we have is a blessing / It isn’t much but it’s enough

Eurydice: A hundred starry summer nights / Since my lover came and found me / Picking fruit and hopping freights / With his music all around me / Stay up late making love / All the stars are naked / Talking sweet and sleeping rough / Our bed is where we make it, there’s / Just enough fruit for the pressing...

Way Down Hadestown

From when Anaïs was 21, long before the show was even a concept:

Follow that dollar for a long way down / Far away from the poorhouse door / You either get to hell or a border town / Ain’t no difference anymore...

Suckin’ on the gristle and chewin’ on the bone / Thinkin’ ‘bout missiles and the old Dow Jones / All alone on your chromium throne /And lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely...

From 2006:

Persephone: Though I’m happy at his side / He’s not an easy man to love / I used to keep him satisfied / But lately he can’t get enough / Never enough of the mine and the mill / Never enough of his working girls / Never enough of the wall he’s building / All around the underworld / Way down Hadestown...

Orpheus: Mr. Hades is slick as an eel / Fountain pen, crocodile shoes / Quick as a snake, and he’s hot on your heels / He’ll make you an offer that you can’t refuse! / Way down Hadestown...

Hermes: Speak of the devil and the devil comes / Here comes Mister Hades now / To gather up his chosen ones / And bring ‘em down to Hadestown / Way down Hadestown...

From 2007:

Hermes: Make room, make room for Hermes, sir! / Make a little room for Hermes, ma’am / They call me a messenger / But that ain’t half of who I am 

I’m a man of influence / I’m connected up and down / And  I got all the documents / You need to get to Hadestown / Way down Hadestown...

Tired of walking in your worn-out shoes? / Tired of running on nothing at all? / Tired of standing your bets to lose? / Tired of losing? Give me a call, we’ll go... / Way down Hadestown...

Orpheus: Mister Hades got an iron fist / Step outta line and he’ll have your head / In the blink of an eye, with a flick of the wrist

Hermes: Hang around here and starve instead!

Orpheus: It’s a cattle pen!

Hermes: It’s a feeding trough!

Orpheus: He’ll fatten you up just to cut you down! / I’d rather starve

Hermes: I’d rather stuff my pockets down in Hadestown! / Way down Hadestown...

Hey, Little Songbird

Anaïs says she tried out this line in 2017 to include a more explicit “job offer” in the wake of the MeToo movement:

Hades: Hey, little songbird, gimme a song / I’m a busy man, and I can’t stay long / I’ve got clients to call, I’ve got orders to fill / I’ve got millions of souls on my payroll, but hell / I could fit you as well if you wanted

When the Chips are Down

From Vermont, 2006:

Fates: Cross my palm! Grease my chin / Can’t you see the kind of shape you’re in? / What you gonna do... ?

Wait For Me

From Vermont, 2007:

(These exchanges intercut the chorus)

Hades: Hermes! / Hermes: Hades! / Hades: Back in town! / Please, sit down / Please, relax / You’ve been around the world and back / Haven’t you, Hermes? / Hermes: I have / Hades: How’s the weather? / Hermes: Worse than ever / How’s your wife? / Hades: My wife is fine / Hermes: You’ve been spending a lot of time together / Haven’t you, Hades?

Hades: What have you brought? / Hermes: The latest crop / Hades: The freshest cut? / Hermes: A cut above / Hades: How many of them, a lot? / Hermes: A lot / Hades: A few too many perhaps / What’s this? / Why have you brought me Orpheus? / I know I never ordered that / It seems you’ve gone behind my back / Haven’t you, Hermes?

Hades: What was that? / Hermes: What was what? / Hades: I heard a voice / Hermes: I heard it not / Hades: Someone singing / Hermes: I heard nothing / Hades: Some kind of song / Hermes: You could be wrong / It could have been the wind / Hades: The wind? / Hermes: It could have been the rain / Hades: The rain? / Hermes: It could have been the train... (the train / the train / the train / the train...)

From “an early cutting room floor version”:

Fates: One (one, one) / You forget the sun

Eurydice: I forget the sun

Fates: You forget where you come from / You forget the sun

Eurydice: I forget the sun

Fates: Two (two, two)

Why We Build the Wall

Pre-NYTW:

Hermes: A lot can happen behind closed doors / With the big boss and his fountain pen / A lot of dirty deals go down / When there ain’t nobody watching...

Our Lady of the Underground

The 2006 version of the song was called “A Crack in the Wall” and these were the lyrics:

Persephone: Come and see the stars! / They’re fixin to fall / Slidin’ and a-slipping’ / In their gravity shoes / Old Man Mars / Taking Venus to the ball / Big dipper dippin’ / To the blue-sky blues

Have you forgot? / Which was is up? / I think you’ll find / I have just the thing for you / Put a quarter in the slot / You can fill your loving cup / With a little bit of moonshine / From the pay-per-view

How selfless! / The silent moon / Holding a mirror / For an ungrateful sun / Hey, Orpheus! / Are you leaving so soon? / Every night around here / Is a fateful one 

Maybe you got blindsided / Lost your papers! / Lost your mind! / Maybe you once lost an angel / Just to watch her fall / Look a little closer and / The water turns to wine / Look a little closer: there’s a crack in the wall!

So I raise my cup / To the stars in the sky / If you want a show / Go on, get in line / Step right up brothers / Don’t be shy / What the boss don’t know / The boss won’t mind

Way Down Hadestown (Reprise)

A 2013 version of this song was called “No One Now,” delivered to Orpheus, and these are the lyrics:

Fates: Used to be a blushing bride / That was on the other side / Better to forget her face / Now she’s like the rest of us / One more number in a crowd / Maybe she was someone once / She ain’t no one now

Used to be a loving wife / That was in another life / Carve it on a marble stone / Now she’s like the rest of us / One more body in the ground / Maybe she was someone once / She ain’t no one now

Brother don’t you think we all / Used to have a name to call? / A tale to tell as well as her? / Now she’s like the rest of us...

Maybe when she first arrived / So alive, so naive / All the bright lights in her eyes / All her insides fluttering (alt. Heart aflutter on her sleeve) / Maybe she was someone then / Back when Hades drew her in / Like a moth into his flame / Borne aloft on burning wings / Well she ain’t the first and she ain’t the last / Hades’ fire is hot and fast / Just ask all the other girls / Sweeping up the ashes in the underworld / See even when the flame is new / She doesn’t hold a candle to / The woman Hades truly loves / So maybe she was someone once / But now she’s like the rest of us / All used up, all burned out / Maybe she was someone once / She ain’t no one now

From the Dartmouth workshop:

Hermes (to Orpheus): If you wanna get around down here in the tank / Down here in the clink / Down here in the hole / You got to think the way they think / Which is to say, your mind is blank / Which is to say, don’t think at all / Come / I’ll show you how it’s done 

Welcome to the skeleton crew! / Welcome to the chain gang, kid / Lemme introduce you to / The members of the working dead / Old Jack Hammer! / Mister Miner / Wandering forever in the catacombs / Working on a hole to China / Diggin’ up them dino bones / Way down...

Sweatshop Sally! Missus Miller! / Workin’ in the cellar where the sun don’t shine / Sad eyed little Cinderella / Sweeping up the ashes of the summertime / Used to be one a the boss’s pets / Now she’s just another stiff / One night in the boss’s bed / And a lifetime on the graveyard shift / Way down...

Flowers

Did not exist in Vermont, but there was a brief reprise of “Everything Written”: 

Eurydice: If it’s me- if it’s me you’re looking for / Orpheus, I can’t be with you anymore

Fates: She signed in blood / She signed for good

Eurydice: I signed before I understood / And I’d unsign it if I could / But it’s too late / They say that everything is written / Everything is written in those stars / Even these lives we’re living / Even this love

Fates: Seven sisters...

Papers

Pre-NYTW:

Hades: Let me see your papers, son / Let me see your documents / Or could it be that you have none? / You’re on the wrong side of the fence...

If It’s True

Pre-concept album:

Orpheus: If it’s true what they say / If there’s nothing to be done / If there’s no part left to play / If there’s no song to be sung / If it’s true what they say / If there’s no stone left to turn / If there’s no prayer left to pray / If there’s no bridge left to burn / If it’s true what they say / I’ll be on my way / If it’s true what they say / Then I have lived a lie / They can take the sky away / Take the stars out of my eyes / And my face will be a mask / And my heart will be a stone / And I’ll throw away the past / And I’ll go away alone...

How Long?

Pre-concept album:

Persephone (to Hermes): Brother Hermes, god of speed / Put your feathers on his feet / Hasten his delivery / Keep him hale and whole / Brother, I’m a jaded woman / But there’s something in his singing / And it feels like spring a-comin’ / To the winter of my soul 

Brother Hermes, god of speed / Put your feathers on his feet / Hasten his delivery / Keep him safe and sound / He reminds me of the lover / That I was when I was younger / Back before my heart went under / Undercover / Underground

Chant (Reprise)

Dartmouth Workshop, 2014:

Hades: And in this symphony of mine / Are power chords and power lines / Which I arrange and orchestrate / And every day I dedicate / The magnum opus of my life / To my unkind, ungrateful wife / Persephone, and she shall see / Her name in lights on my marquee / And every night, another show / My symphony will never close! / And she shall have a front row seat / Which she shall never, ever leave! / Young man, you can strum your lyre...

Epic III

Vermont:

Orpheus: The strong will take what they want to take / And the weak can only tell the tale / And the heart of the king loves everything / Like the hammer loves the nail

The heart of the king is iron and steel / The heart of the king is the color of rust / The heart of the king is soldered and sealed / The heart of the king is a tinderbox / That he has to keep under lock and key / That it not catch fire inside his chest / Cos a lover’s desire is a mutiny / A lover’s desire is a wilderness 

But even that hardest of hearts unhardened...

(I just have to say I fucking love this imagery of a fire oh my god)

Lover’s Desire

Anaïs once set the original Lover’s Desire melody to lyrics around the area of Wedding Song:

Orpheus: Lover, can you hear me? / I’m asking for your hand / Your hand for better or for worse / Forever / Whether you’re sick or well / For rich or poorer, to have and to hold for as / Long as we both shall live

Eurydice: Lover, can you hear me? / I’m asking for a hand / A hand that’s steady and strong / To lean on / To catch me if I fall / That’s the hand that I’ll have and I’ll hold for as / Long as we both shall live

Word to the Wise

Early workshops:

Fates: Hey / Hey / Hey / It’s judgement day! / Are you gonna let ‘em just walk away? / What you gonna do... ?

Wait For Me (Reprise)

Vermont:

Hades: Hermes!

Hermes: Hades!

Hades: Time to go / Time to bring this to a close / Time to lay this thing to rest 

Hermes: Orpheus?

Hades: Orpheus / It’s all agreed / We’ve struck a deal / He’s free

Hermes: He’s free?

Hades: He’s free to walk

Hermes: And she?

Hades: To follow at his heel / And she, to follow at his back

Eurydice: Wait for me, I’m coming...

Hades: And she shall follow at his back / And she shall follow in his wake

Hermes: And what’s the catch?

Hades: The catch is this: / He shall not turn to see her face / And if he turns, the game is up / The deal is off, his race is run / And that’s the end of Orpheus / You’ll see it done?

Eurydice: Wait for me, I’m coming...

Written at an unspecified time but never used:

Hermes: A poor boy and a hungry young girl / Walking single file / While the music played / Brother, they looked for all the world / Like they was walking down the aisle / On their wedding day

We Raise Our Cups

The show once ended with an alternate song called “Cloud Machine” in Vermont, the lyrics of which Anaïs says she is embarrassed by:

Orpheus: What have I done? Mother, what have I done? / Squandered the gift that you gave me / Gambled with Hades and Hades won / And there’s no song now that can save me 

Mother, I failed! Oh Mother, I tried / And I fell like a fool would fall / And I left my love / On the other side / On the other side of the wall

(Alt. There’s a crack in the wall / It’s a little bit wider / It’s a little bit wider, that’s all)

Persephone: Come, my son, don’t take it so hard / Everything is forgiven / You have done naught / But to play out the part / That the Fates in their wisdom have written

Orpheus: Raise up the curtain! The crowd goes wild! / The Fates are drunken clowns / All of us dreamers are walking the wire / While they juggle our dream around 

Apollo, come down in your cloud machine / Apollo, come swallowing fire / With your thunder and lightning and kerosene / For the Fates and their funeral pyre

Persephone: Come, my son, we try and we fail / Every tail has an end

But the pale dawn breaks / And the snake eats it’s tail / And the tale begins again...

[prvtbugsbuggins]

27 - Caution: Falling Objects

For @whumptober2021

Chapter link -> Here

Trigger warning for: Head injury, non descriptive vomiting, cursed paintings, and why you need to look before you throw things out the window.

Prompt: Vertigo

Summary: Grif, Simmons, and Tucker cause an accident, and realize that their days may now be numbered.

—

“Grif, where in the fuck did you find that ugly ass thing!?!”

Tucker could only stare in horror at the old painting that Grif was proudly showing off. It was filthy, worn, and the wood and nails that made up it’s frame was a tetanus ridden nightmare. The painting itself was painted on a wood panel, and whoever painted it had enough technical skill to capture the sheer madness it contained. It was a painting of a sad clown, of all things. A horrible, sad clown... eyes painted to show only despair within it’s depths as it cried. The background was a mess of flames, as though the clown was burning in the bowels of hell due to some unimaginable clown sin. It was creepy.

“Hey fuck you, it’s awesome!” Grif grunted, trying to lift it up enough so that he could hang it up on the wall in his room, but was stopped by Simmons.

“Nope. Nope I am not having that thing in a room that we are sharing!” The cyborg nervously looked at the painting, the eyes of the clown looking deep into his soul. He shivered and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“I thought that compromising was part of being a couple,” Grif scoffed. “I let you hang up that stupid print of a Commodore 64.”

“Yeah but it’s not a picture of a sad clown!” Simmons gripped his hair in frustration, exhaling sharply though his teeth. “Do you really want that...that thing staring down at us as we-” He paused, noticing that Tucker was paying close attention to him.

“Go on Simmons…” Tucker grinned the grin of a little shit. “What were you gonna say? Don’t stop on my account.”

“...As we wake up in the morning!” Simmons was red enough to match his hair, no longer able to look his friend in the eyes. “Sh---shut up! Why the hell are you even here, Tucker?!”

“Cause Grif texted me that he had this awesome thing he wanted me to see, and I expected something actually awesome. Like you got a booking for a bachelor party in the Vegas Quadrant, NOT something that is going to haunt me every time I close my eyes!” Tucker gestured to the horrible painting, at it’s horrible...horrible face.

“Hey I’m trying to be cultured here. Plus I found it, so it’s mine.” Grif huffed as he heaved the painting to another wall, scrutinizing it as though searching for the perfect place to hang it up. If he can’t put it up there, he’ll put it somewhere else. “Plus it’ll get Donut to stop bitching about how we ‘don’t appreciate the arts’.”

“Where the hell did you find that? In the fucking dump???” Tucker watched bits of...something, crumble off the frame and into the carpet that used to be clean.

“Well, yeah?” Grif stepped back, raising up his hands to judge if the wall was suitable for such a masterpiece. “Where else would I find something cool like that?”

Tucker and Simmons stared at the painting, and then looked to each other. A look of mutual understanding was had, and they both nodded, knowing what had to be done.

“Simmons, get the window open!” Tucker shouted as he bum rushed Grif. He was much faster than Grif, but Grif was nothing but muscle under his fat. So he went for a full nelson, struggling to pin down Grif as a blast of air rushed into the room.

“YOU FUCKING DICKS!” Grif kicked and struggled, but Tucker held him down. “That’s MINE!”

“It’s for your own good! The painting obviously stole your soul and is using you like some horrible fat meat puppet! We’ll save you!” Tucker shouted right back. Grif rolled over top of him, and Tucker shouted as he felt a few bones pop under the weight.

Simmons took the opportunity to start dragging the painting to the window, gingerly gripping the wood and praying that they had tetanus boosters on Chorus.

“FUCK YOU SIMMONS! I WANT A DIVORCE!” Grif rolled and fought, but Tucker clung to him like duct tape. Despite his efforts, Grif was slowly, but surely dragging himself towards the window. Tucker still struggled on, knowing for sure he was going to have rug burns after this.

“We aren’t even married yet, asshole!” Simmons countered, finally at the window. With a heave, he shoved the painting up on the window sill, and another shoved pushed it out over the edge before Grif could reach him. “There, now we can-”

There was a tremendous crash, a startled yelp, and the sound of metal hitting pavement.

“CABOOSE!” A voice shouted from the street, startling Tucker enough to let go of Grif. All three of them rushed to the window and looked down at the street. There, at the bottom, was a familiar blue clad Spartan, sprawled out on the concrete. Broken shards of wood spread around him like a halo, and a very stressed Agent Washington was shaking him on the shoulder, calling his name.

Then, Wash’s helmet looked up and met all three soldier’s gazes, and the look he gave them was icier than Europa.

“GET DOWN HERE, NOW.” he roared. The blue armor stirred slightly, a pained groan rumbling out, but he still didn’t get up.

“Oh shit, we’re in trouble now.” Simmons squeaked, and the other two thoroughly agreed.

—

Washington until now, having a great day. He had gotten his work done early, so he had decided to take Caboose along for a training exercise. He figured that Caboose would like to get out of the city for a bit, after being cooped up on bed rest for so long. He had been given a clean bill of health by Grey, so going on patrol along the border of the city seemed like a great idea. It was fairly light work, and Wash got to teach him a few hand signals that he felt the Spartan would like to use instead of struggling with words.

Overall, a nice time.

And then a block of wood fell out of the sky and cracked Caboose right on top of his helmet. He went down like a sack of bricks. Wash shouted his name, but didn’t get much of a response other than a groan and a few twitches. The freelancer looked upwards to see where the fuck a mass of wood came from, only to spot a window, with three familiar soldiers crowded around it.

He could put two and two together, especially when he saw the look on their faces.

Oh he was pissed. Just what the fuck were they doing? Who just throws shit out of a window without looking first? He screamed at them to get the fuck down here, and then he turned his attention back to Caboose.

“Hhhn…” Caboose tried to get up, arms shaking, but he quickly lost steam and collapsed again. “Ow.”

“Caboose?” Wash reached for the latches on his helmet, fingers gliding over them and unlatching them all. He pulled off the helmet and put it aside, kneeling down to look him over. “Caboose, can you look at me? I need you to look at me, okay?”

He slowly turned his shaking head and Wash could see that his pupils were dilated. He blinked a couple times and looked at Wash, confused. “Aaagent Wathintoob, ‘deres two of yoo.” He slurred, able to keep his attention for a mere moment before he put his head down again. There, he just simply stared at the world.

Wash had seen enough concussions already to know that Caboose was probably also experiencing intense vertigo, hence why he wasn’t able to get up. Just to be sure, he asked, “Hey...are you staying still right now?”

“Noh…” Caboose’s eyes were wide, as though he was looking through the world with new lenses. “Et’s spinnin’ roun’ an’ roun’. Hurts...”

“Goddamnit,” Washington sighed, and then turned his gaze to the three soldiers who have finally reached the street. Tucker opened his mouth to say something, but Wash cut him off. “Stop. Hospital first, and then I’ll hear your excuses. All three of you.”

They simply nodded, and together they hefted the Spartan to his feet. To his credit, Caboose tried to help them, but his legs wanted to crumble to the side no matter how hard he tried. So it ended up being a one step at a time deal, the four pausing to let Caboose take a supported step, and then another. They had managed to get a block down the street before Caboose began to groan louder.

“Caboose, buddy. What’s wrong?” Wash was encouraging him to walk, since the Hospital was thankfully close by.

“Sick.” He murmured in reply and thankfully, they made it to the bushes before anyone got puked on, though Wash figured that Grif, Tucker, and Simmons would have deserved it.

—

“This all started, over a painting?” Wash asked, absolutely baffled. “Instead of just putting it in a dumpster, you idiots threw it out the window without caring who was under it?”

All four soldiers were once again, in the hospital waiting room. Because of how many times that someone in their team have ended up here, they figured they should have reserved seats by now.

“Technically, they threw it,” Grif huffed from his seat. “I was an innocent bystander in all this.”

“You are the one who brought unsanitary and possibly disease ridden piece of trash back to a city who just lifted quarantine procedures. So yeah, you are in trouble too.” The freelancer deadpanned. Grif sank a little in his chair in response, not even able to argue against that.

“Look, we didn’t think-” Simmons started, but Wash cut him off.

“No, you didn’t think. Neither of you took one second to act like a normal person and just put something in the trash instead of throwing it out a window! What the hell!” Wash was truly baffled. Just when he thought his team mates couldn’t top their stupidity, something would happen to prove him wrong. Again.

“It was legit an accident.” Tucker said, gesturing to the waiting room doors. “Caboose was just unlucky.”

“It may be, but I’m not going to be the one who has to explain to his sister why he’s in the hospital, again, just after he healed from major brain surgery.”

The air seemed to get a few degrees colder, even in environmentally sealed power armor.

Tucker looked to Grif and Simmons. “Hey, I’ll be a witness signature on your wills if you’ll do the same for me.”

“Deal.”

—

Dr. Grey was very nice, Caboose decided. She wasn’t going to steal his organs, she had plenty of time to do so and plenty of time to slip something in, but she never did it. She had taken him back to the machine where you sit inside and scan your head. He didn’t like having to sit still for that, but he was feeling not so great. He just wanted to lay down and sleep, to be honest, but the pain kept him awake and he felt sick in his belly.

He also wished that the room would stop spinning, it made his head and belly hurt worse.

He had to do other tests. She asked him a bunch of questions that he knew the answers to, it’s just that his mouth was slow and it took him a while to say things. She seemed happy with that at the least, and Caboose felt like that maybe things won’t be so bad.

She took him back to a nice quiet room and helped him into bed, tucking him in with a nice warm blanket. She said they have warmers there so the blankets were always nice and warm, especially for a big person like him. He needed two! She had put some needles and eye-vees in, and once she started the weird beepy machine, he started to feel better.

The pain and the belly sickness started to fade and Dr. Grey told him that one of his friends will visit him, and then he had to rest. He did want to rest, he was very tired and she said he would feel better after. He was already cozy, he just needed a story and then he can go to sleep.

Washingtub entered the room after talking with Dr. Grey for a while. He could hear them a little, but straining hurt his head at the moment. He figured it was boring talk, so he decided to just relax and enjoy the fact that the pain was now nearly gone. She had also said he might have a ‘goose egg’ on his head, which confused him, because eggs come out of chickens, not heads.

“Hi, buddy.” Wash sat next to his bed and patted his arm gently. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Caboose yawned in response. “Dr. Grey said I had to sleep.”

“Yeah, you need rest. That’s the best thing for a concussion. They are going to keep you here tonight to keep an eye on you, and then you can go home and take it easy there.” Wash explained.

Caboose didn’t nod, something told him that moving his head more than it had to wasn’t a very good idea. “Okay.”

“Do you want a story tonight?”

Caboose managed a smile. He loved stories. “Yes please.”

“Okay.” Wash’s visor lit up for a moment as he searched for a good one. “By the way...when do you write letters to your sister?”

“Oh, Fridays.” Caboose kept smiling, the thought of his sister cheering him up even further.

“Three days away then. So...your sister won’t know you got hurt again until then, right?” It was nice of Washingtub to be so concerned, so Caboose decided to cheer him up too.

“Oh she knows. Dr. Grey just sent a message!” He cheerfully explained. Washington stiffened up, but Caboose attributed that to being pleasantly surprised.

“Just now?” Wash managed to say with a wheeze. “Like, right now?”

“Yeah!” Caboose made himself more comfortable, resting his head on the extra pillows he was given. “Now-now.” He was getting more tired the more he talked, but he liked talking to Washingtub. He’ll stay up a little longer just for him.

“That’s...nice to know.” Washingtub wheezed. “So I guess she’ll be visiting again very soon?”

“No…Indy said that it’s better to um...uh…’build anticipation’ sometimes. I don’t know what that means, so Indy said that people love surprises. Do you love surprises, Agent Washingtub?” He yawned again, eyelids getting too heavy to ignore.

“Not so much, but I think Grif, Simmons, and Tucker do.”

Caboose didn’t know why Washington sounded a little afraid there, but he figured it must be the concussion talking, so elected to ignore that and enjoy his bedtime story.

—

A little more comedic before we go into tomorrow, which will feature a bastard rat man :3

Based on the time my cat knocked a 20lb wooden painting I made on top of my head and knocked my ass out and ended up with a 3000$ ER bill. Oh boy was that a trip :\

No Indiana did not kill those three, but she likes watching them squirm. They were idiots that caused an accident, so she'll let them think she's going to off them so they get extra careful to not endanger her brother with their idiocy.

[ythmir-writes]

Fictober21, Day 04

Prompt: Fine, I give up Fandom: Ikemen Vampire feat: Le Comte Audience: General, no warnings

“I thought Sebastian was exaggerating.”

Le Comte only barely caught Leonardo entering his private study, slipping in without sound into the room as only old vampires can do. Any other day, Le Comte would have acknowledged his fellow pureblood the moment Leonardo stepped into view, but at the moment he was too consumed by the task at hand.

He needed to finish placing the final gold leaves on the book before dinner service. And he still had two pages left.

“Never one to spare expense, eh?” Leonardo commented, fishing out a fresh roll of tobacco from his coat.

“Only the very best will do.”

“Real gold?” Leonardo’s tone was both a question and not.

“And why would I use anything else?” Le Comte chuckled.

Leonardo took a drag, stepped close enough without encroaching on the space, and watched Le Comte return to work.

It did not take a particularly skillful hand to dot a book’s pages with gold – but it did take a very patient one. One had to cut the leaf into miniscule strips, dab just the right amount of adhesive with an even tinier brush, and carefully dab them on the paper. Then, the glue had to be dried – a process which took hours depending on the size of the gold leaf – and then started again.

Le Comte had to admit though, during the first few pages, he thought he was a little bit out of his depth. When he had consulted with the local library about gilding a book, how long the process would take, and if an amateur – say a person who, without much skill but had a lot of time, who had never had any experience working with their hands, who suddenly and out of the blue decided they should do it – could do it, their answers had made it seem like an easy process.

Now, if an average person could do it, surely a vampire could too. Because a vampire could do a lot of things; particularly stubborn and determined vampires have been known to change the world, after all.

And while Le Comte knew that he could, on occasion, be stubborn, he did not really think of himself as determined. And definitely did not imagine himself as a combination of both. But he had given his word. Le Comte had promised their beloved a golden book. So a golden book, he will deliver.

Eventually, it had become meditative. The thought of their beloved’s smile when he would present the gift to her was more than enough motivation for him to forge on.

“What exactly did Sebastian say?” Le Comte asked after a while.

“That you were, and I quote, overdoing it.”

Le Comte felt both his brows rise, unsure whether Leonardo was being truthful or sarcastic. “Is it a little too much? Tell me, honestly.”

Leonardo gestured vaguely at the book. “You’re setting it in gold.”

“It’s their favorite book.” Le Comte looked back at the encyclopedia. “You know they’ve been talking about it non-stop since they came over.”

“I know that,” Leonardo chuckled. “And you’ve talked extensively about nothing else for a week when it was brought up. Could hardly get a word in with either of you. Even in bed.”

“So how – ?”

“But how are they going to read it if it’s looking like a national treasure?”

“Are you saying I should get two copies? Or three?” Le Comte considered the idea, remembering their beloved’s rule of three. He did not see the way Leonardo was already shaking his head in quiet laughter.

“All I’m saying is, you’ve already had the thing reprinted, bound in special leather, shipped over two oceans, and now your dabbing actual precious metal on every page.” Leonardo chuckled. “Is this not a little bit too much for an anniversary gift?”

Le Comte looked at him, genuinely confused.

“Fine. I give up.” Leonardo raised his hands. "I swear this will be a repeat of that again. They’re gonna take this to bed and I won’t have any good night kisses because they’re reading and it’s all your fault.”

It was Le Comte’s turn to laugh. “I am respectfully refusing to comment.” He looked at the time, saw enough had passed, and proceeded to cut another leaf. “Speaking of gifts, have you decided on what to give them?”

This time, Leonardo’s grin was tender. Le Comte knew that look too well on his friend. “A painting.”

“And you say I’m overdoing it?”

“Mine doesn’t cost half the mansion.”

“Oh, but it will.”