#I am going to explode (positive)
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my mom reminding me every couple months whenever my hypochondria acts up that on her side of the family the women tend to have low blood pressure: 😑
me still being terrified of having high blood pressure: 🫨😫🫠😭
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selfspinninglies · 2 months ago
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So I read Don't Let the Forest In by CG Drews and it fucked me up a little [in a good way]. I heard this book had body horror [<- my favorite thing ever], fucked up gay people, monsters etc which made me think this would be my cup of tea and it definitely is that it feels like this book was made for me. I will not be able to stop thinking about it for a while. God I am so normal
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greensaplinggrace · 2 years ago
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Alina didn’t choose to have her powers taken from her and she didn’t intend for them to be lost. You can’t say Alina chose her ending when the ending was deliberately forced on her without her consent, and she is actively upset by this.
It has been said before and I will say it again:
Alina explicitly wants her power in the books. She has conflicting feelings on it, which is normal, but does on multiple occasions admit to herself as well as others that she likes the power, that she wants it, and that she does not wish to lose it.
This is not due to a lack of conceptualizing Alina liking her powers and Alina’s greed for power as separate things. This has nothing to do with Alina’s greed. Outside of Alina’s greed for power, she comes to love this part of herself she neglected all her life because she was raised by people who could not understand her and who taught her to be wary of her own people and culture, so much so that she subconsciously avoided dealing with who she actually was.
Equating Alina’s power with her greed is exactly what those oppressing grisha do in justification for their hate crimes. You are using the same logic as a cast of people set on genocide and oppression. Not to mention the direct connection between grisha being based on jewish persecution and how the thing that defines grisha is equated with greed, which is a highly common antisemitic depiction of jewish people.
Alina is the ethnic jew raised by goyim. She is the repressed queer child of homophobic parents. She is everybody who only got to realize and express themselves after finding and connecting with their community late in life.
A story about a persecuted minority hunted because of what makes them different ending with your main character, who is a part of that minority, losing that piece of themselves and being forced to assimilate, is incredibly problematic. And anybody who makes this criticism about “Alina choosing” forgets that Alina is a character who’s only choices are those made for her by the person who wrote her.
Another thing that people constantly misrepresent is that Alina is not happy to be stripped of her powers at the end, and explicitly expresses sadness, grief, rage, and anger about the loss of her powers. This is separate from her finding happiness despite her grief, but the grief never goes away. Which means that anybody saying she was happy to lose her powers or chose to do so is factually incorrect. Her agency is stripped from her in the end.
She doesn’t get to choose the peaceful life because the peaceful life is chosen for her. This is not a natural ending to a meaningful character arc of self realization. This is the regressive and brutal shafting of a character who’s arc was abused at every turn, and who’s actual development was walked backwards. Not because of her powers but because she is prevented from ever finding peace with her powers by the narrative.
She doesn’t have to fight a war ‘because of her powers’. She has to fight a war because her people are fucking oppressed. Laying the blame on what makes her different instead of the people who have singled her out because she is different indicates a severe lack of understanding in regards to racism, persecution, and oppression.
Her powers didn’t become so corrupt that they failed her in the end. She didn’t see the consequences and choose peace to avoid them because she wasn’t allowed to see anything at all. Her path was decided for her before she could even look down the other.
People focus on Alina and her powers because that is the story. It is a story about realizing something crucial about yourself that has been kept from you and repressed your whole life. It is an incredibly important story to tell. It is a coming of age story about self realization and self actualization and finding agency after a life where you realize you had none.
Blaming Alina being grisha for why she is stripped of her grishaness is fundamentally flawed argument. If the greed for power was what was supposed to be punished, then she would only have lost that which she sought in her greed. And if a balance needed to be reached, then there would be just as many sun summoners as shadow summoners in the world. Because she lost more than that and because of the discordance in thematic symbolism, the message becomes a punishment not for “greed” (which shouldn’t have even been the message in the first place for a plot and setting like this), but for something else. It becomes a punishment for her being grisha and coming to love and accept herself for it. It becomes a punishment of reveling in one’s difference. It becomes a statement about living outside of the boxes society tries to place people in. It becomes a message about oppression and assimilation on the side of oppression and assimilation.
The most important criticism about the ending will always be about the framing of Alina losing her powers. Alina choosing peace and love over power as a message would only have been able to work if Alina had been able to choose it. And to do so she would have had to choose it when she still had her powers. That is the only progression her developmental arc of “choosing peace and love” could have taken if it didn’t want to become regressive and strip her completely of her agency.
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smalltimidbean · 1 year ago
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your art goes insane DAYUM your peppino art its all so detailed
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I have seen your art, and you're callin' me detailed??? Hello??? (lighthearted)
Pretty much all the Peppinos I've drawn have been in my more cartoony style, but I probably do add more clothing and fat folds than your average cartoonist jkgkjgfd
But thank you so much!!! That makes me so happy to hear!!! Ruagh!!!
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bleetusmcyeetus · 6 months ago
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So. So how we feeling after uh. After today’s mgafs episode guys.
I want to scream and cry and????? Wh????????? HELLO????? I’M????? WHAT??????? So much happened in that. In that 41:51. I actually am just fucking Speechless HELLO?????? MGAFS YOU ALWAYS DROP BANGER EPISODES BUT THIS ONE WAS LIKE A FUCKING NUCLEAR BOMB. I. HASHSJAHSHSHAHADNFBSBAJXHHAHS????? AJDHSJJFJAHDJSJS????!?!!!! DOBSIBFIWBODBWBO!?!?!!!!!??????? HUH?????? HUHHH???????!!!!?!?! I CANT EVEN. I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS WHAT I JUST WATCHED. WHAT
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judicent · 8 months ago
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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lordsardine · 4 months ago
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ethmanlmao · 2 years ago
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i am so normal about him
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risingblackmoon · 1 year ago
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thinking about... Evil lunar and Sun... With this song...
youtube
Ooiuguh
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remyfire · 6 months ago
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Love being unwell and abnormal about characters with my friends. Top of the pyramid of needs tbh
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blazeball · 2 years ago
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OHHHHH MY GOD. EATS THIS
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urbanfiltered · 29 days ago
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ummmmmmm
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loverboybrightsideghost · 3 months ago
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they should invent a me that's good at everything i want to be good at. [thing from the addams family pokes out of a nearby box and hands me a piece of paper] thank you, thing. what's this...oh! why, it's a paper that says i have to be the one to do that for my future self! huh.
#bluebird.txt#post brought to you by IM FRUSTRATED AND ANNOYED BUT GRITTING MY TEETH AND KNOWING THAT I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FAIL IN THE LONG TERM#EVEN IF FUCK UP NOW YOU GOTTA FUCK UP A LOT BEFORE YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU WANNA BE#AND I'M DOING GREAT#AND ALSO I HAVE GENUINELY BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH HEALTH SHIT RECENTLY THAT I LEGITIMATELY WAS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO THINK OF#ALMOST ANYTHING SCHOOL RELATED AT ALL CAUSING ME TO FORGET MULTIPLE ASSIGNMENTS AND BE LATE TO A MIDTERM#AND IT SUCKS BUT SOMETIMES THERE REALLY IS A GOOD REASON FOR WHY YOU COULD NOT DO AS MYCH AS YOU WANTED#AND MAYBE YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AT ONCE#BUT TAKE IT SLOWLY AND ONE DAY AT A TIME AND SOME DAYS YOU WILL FEEL LACKING BUT JUST THINK OF ALL#THE GOOD WORK YOU'VE ALREADY DONE#MORE WILL COME YOU WILL BE FINE#I AM FRUSTRATED NOW AND THAT IS FINE AND I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE IN MANY WAYS BUT I HAD A HEALTH SETBACK#THAT FORCED ME TO BE UNABLE TO DO SHIT I NEEDED TO DO AND NOW YOU SIMPLY JUST GOTTA GET BACK INTO IT#EVEN IF ITS SLOW AND EVEN IF YOU 'SHOULD' BE BETTER#SHOULD IS A BULLSHIT FUCKING WORD IN THIS CASE#YOU ARE. I AM. AND I WILL CONTINUE BEING. I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR AND ACTUALLY IT WILL NOT KILL ME.#I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR. AND THIS ORCHESTRA CYCLE. AND THEN I CAN GO ON VACATION. AND DO MENTAL PRACTICE.#AND MY BEST. AND YOUR BEST DOESN'T MEAN PERFECT OR EVEN THAT FOOD SOMETIMES IT JUST MEANS DO WHAT YOU CAN.#me when im taking it easy but taking it#sorry i gotta hype myself up cuz if i let myself feel bad about myself that's stupid and dumb and im better than that#if im not aggressively positive ill explode and my life will fall apart around me and i will NOT let myself be miserable again#last month was out of my control mostly. i will however not take 19 credits next semester!#girls when. RAAAGGGGGGHHHH RIPS OFF MY SHIRT I AM ALIVE AT LEAST AND THATS PRETTY COOL#me when i paused like seven times typing this to cough hard
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volfoss · 6 months ago
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i cant even like post about the horrors that are going on currently because im gonna get too mad but oh my god. like i would give her really good credit for writing a character like marius that has 0 self awareness about his insanely disgusting behavior bc like. that CAN work. you can make the reader feel disgust and see things through the eyes of someone who is horrible while not romanticizing the behavior. clearly anne did not get the memo for this one.
#twist rambles#vc posting#like i get now why the blog i was going thru the liveblog of to decide if i wanted to commit to the bit was so so glad to be done w this#book bc this is like. i genuinely cannot express how mad i am reading this lmao. quite honestly i thought mer.rick was bad and thats nothin#compared to this. i know the next one will also be rough but oh my god. oh my god. why did i commit to this. i really may have to start my#silly notes project sooner > later because i need to actually enjoy something because like. i just. god. i cannot really clearly get into#why this pisses me off without going into insane (and prob triggering) depth w mar.ius as a character but like. my godddd oh we are in hell#like i remember when i was reading the wit.cher books i was like wow the SA is really excessive. dont like that and how it keeps happening#to minors. this book makes that seem like a cakewalk w nothing wrong. this makes tva which had like... i think 10 sex scenes before pg 100#and all of them were horrific to read seem like just fine and dandy. i need anne to explode#you can tell im suffering bc i weirdly dont like posting abt the positives bc these books DO have them dont get me wrong but i dont normall#have as much 2 say when im like oh this is fun im enjoying this. and i dont really want to get any of my mutuals into the books im gonna be#honest bc theyre bad. but you can tell when im posting a lot that im in the TRENCHES. which is why ive been posting a billion times today#abt this bc its like... interesting? but also i have a lot to say. and there just rly isnt much positive abt this book in particular#nor the last one to be fair but this is like easily the most miserable ive been. with tva i could at least go yeah maybe its just anne#trying to depict an absuive relationship w the rose tinted glasses that arm.and has bc of how long hes been abused. but w this its just lik#mar.ius being like yeah im such a good guy while hes going after like his 4th minor. im so sick of itttt im so sick of it.#good lord sorry my tags have been so long today but thats bc i think im done ranting in the main post and then get another thing im mad abt#that i need to add. like idk i think while these books infuriate me at points at least i have shit to say abt it yk#anyways good god. i have to wrap up this chapter.
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stunie · 6 months ago
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i just WOKE UP !!?????!!!!!!
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2024.07.15 — dinner date with Ume. ♡
(hands up if you know where the reference photo’s froooommmmm!!!! >:3 aju nice.)
#art!#you @ed me as if my ume senses weren’t already tingling. is this why i kept stirring in my sleep? there’s a disturbance in the air. and thi#so this is the culprit. how was i supposed to not feel the change in atmosphere ???#☆ミ umemiya.#WHY IS HE SMILING LIKE THAT /pos (compliment) LOOK AT HIS MOUTH HE IS SO KISSABLE ? HIS LIPS ???? BIBI .#AND LOOK AT HIS PRETTY EYES BIBI YOU ALWAYS DO THIS (compliment) LIKE U GIVE HIM HIS LIL DROOPY PUPPY EYES BUT U DO IT IN A WAY WHERE HE#LOOKS SO DREAMY AND SOFT. HIS EYES R SO FUCKING PRETTY. WTF. AND YOU GAVE HIM HIS GLASSES . and what if i can’t finish using my tags becaus#because i have EXPLODED. erupted like a volcano. yk star deaths ? that’s me. i did. i’m no more! goodbye to what remains of zevie#this is my ghost speaking bc i need to finish my tags here. look at the fuckinnnngggg muuuscles bibi drew.#do you see his bulging tricep. god i love men w huge ass triceps sm I LOVE THEN. and look at his bicep. i know all of you see that bicep#vein better than me !! better than me bc i’m not wearing contacts or glasses now. straight up outa bed and im hit with this !! can you belie#believe bibi (affectionate) bc i cannot !! LOOK AT THE VEINS SHE GAVE HIM …. not even just one biceps they are also ….#on his forearms . do yk what it means . yk when his fingers r inside u and they curl. the forearm muscle bulges and u can see the vein#protruding more . bonus if he’s sweaty and the muscle is just glistening. WOW! okay. moving on. LOOK AT HIS BOOBS. U CAN SEE THEM PEEKING#THROUGH THE SHIRT. THATS HOW BIG THEY ARE. see how they bulge bc of how his arm is pressing against it? CRIMINAL. me and all my ume girlies#are on our way to bury on our faces in them. HUGE pillows btw . ok moving on. LETS TALK ABOUT HIS HAIR . his hair. it’s up yeah? but it’s#messy like in his fight with choji. the best hair ever. he is actually so soft and so fluffy. his hair looks like fresh snow . he is#absolutely everything to me !! literally unreal. absolutely ethereal. an angel. WOW.#i want to talk about his shirt. and the fact that he wears white tees at bofurin simply bc someone told#him it looks good. what a cutie. he would wear anything if you asked him sweetly enough. ‘oh you think i’ll look good?’#ANYWAYS HIS SHIRT HERE … THE WAY HIS MUSCLES R LIKE BULGING AGAINST IT IM SO NOT OKAY >: AND NOW IM LOOKING AT HIS NECK#i want to cover him in bites fr . look at how COMFY the area between his neck / shoulder is ??? BURY UR FACE RIGHT THERE.#bibi !!! you never cease to amaze me . bc the sketch had me falling to my knees and crying (see pictures for references) and this finished#one …… i’m really not okay (positive) i am really . really not okay!!!#please he looks so cute >: IM TAKING YIU HOME UME . YOURE COMING WITH ME . today i will be the one giving you a piggy back ride#get those pretty arms wrapped around me STAT. bibi i’m sobbing the artist / writer / person that you are (compliment)#i have no idea how i’m gonna recover from this . maybe i should go back to sleep and wake up because no way this is reality. this isn’t real#and i am just dreaming right now. bibi never showed me this at all. bibi never drew this at all. it’s not real. go back to sleep zevie … le#let’s just go back to sleep …. don’t think about it. don’t think about how pretty he is …. oh no no …. yeah let’s get under the covers …#goodnight everybody !!!!!! i say this fully aware that this will (affectionately) haunt me in my sleep for the rest of the week
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bidolatry · 1 year ago
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