#I am genuinely upset that she isn't worse
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blood-orange-juice ¡ 7 months ago
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I think the point of Yae Miko's character is that she is chaotic evil. The only reason she acts even relatively okay is her love for Ei who is lawful evil (which is only moderately better).
Personally, I think it's a beautiful dynamic.
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softshuji ¡ 7 months ago
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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strangersteddierthings ¡ 10 months ago
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Rockstar Life
It might have all been forgiven, if Eddie had called. If Eddie had called and begged forgiveness immediately.
Steve could believe- would be willing to look past one drunken mistake.
But Eddie doesn't call.
Eddie doesn't call. Not in the morning after. Or the following day. Or the next.
Steve doesn't reach out either, because how can be he expected to? Paparazzi caught Eddie shoving a mysterious man against the wall in a dark alley, captured their heated kisses and how they barely separated for long enough to get into the back of an uber, and Steve knows as soon as he sees the pictures that he won't be reaching out.
He's not the one that's done anything wrong.
It takes three days for Steve to hear from Eddie. It's a shock, a genuine surprise, because it's face to face. Steve hears the front door close, and he thinks it's Robin, come to check on him again so he doesn't even turn around from where he's making a quesadilla directly on the stovetop.
He does freeze completely when it's not Robin's voice he hears.
"Steve, I am so sorry. So fucking sorry. I can't even begin to explain how sorry."
Three days ago, Steve might have forgiven him.
Today, he's not feeling so generous. He turns the burner off and scoots the half-cooked quesadilla to the cooler side of the stovetop before turning around.
Eddie looks wrecked. Dark bags under his eyes, made even darker by his paler than normal skin, hair a type of messy Steve hasn't seen since the spring break Eddie was in hiding and unable to take a proper shower. He looks heartbroken, distraught and upset. All things Steve felt up until this exact moment. Now that he's face to face with the love of his life, he feels nothing.
"Am I moving out, or are you?"
The noise Eddie makes is heart wrenching. Steve's not so numb and hateful to not recognize that. "Babe, please-"
"Do not call me that," Steve interrupts, "not when you were probably whispering that to someone else just days ago."
"Ba-Steve. Steve, please. I swear it was a mistake. It- I was way too drunk and high to be thinking clearly-"
"I don't want your excuses, Eddie. I want to know if I'm packing my things, or if you are."
"Steve, can't we talk about this?"
That makes Steve's blood boil. "Talk about it? Talk about it? Now you want to talk about it? You should have wanted to talk about it the second you slunk from that guy's bed. Or did you have to kick him from yours? Or, worse, has it taken three goddman days to hear from you because you were still in bed!?"
"No!" Eddie cries, "no, it didn't- it was just-"
"Stop!" Steve shouts, "I don't want to hear any details! I don't care if that uber only made it a block before you came to your senses and bailed. That doesn't- those pictures- you pinned him to the wall, Eddie!"
Eddie is silent, shrinking in on himself in a way Steve's never seen. Steve pushes down the urge to comfort him.
Steve is the one in need of comfort. He's the hurt party here.
"If I were sober, it never would have happened," is all the reply Eddie finally gives. It's not good enough.
"I can't trust that!" Steve turns away, pressing his hands against his eyes hard enough to see light that isn't there. "How am I supposed to believe you? You didn't even- you didn't even call. It was like- like you didn't even know that I knew. But you must have found out. That's why you're here." Steve drops his hand and turns around. "Who told you I knew?"
Eddie swallows. "Max."
Steve nods because of course it was Max. She was the one who handed him the tabloid with the picture in it, three days ago. "So, if you didn't know I knew, you would have, what, never told me?"
"NO, no, I just- I didn't know what to say. How to say it. But then Max called yesterday and-" Eddie says Max's name with too much bite, like it's a curse. Like Max tattled on Eddie instead of exposed his betrayal.
"Shut. Up," Steve growls, "you don't get to be mad at Max for your fucking mistake! I've know you're a goddamn cheater for three days, and it's not until Max let you know that I knew, that you decided to fix it? Well, it can't be fixed, Eddie!"
"Steve, please," Eddie is crying, and Steve's seen him cry a handful of times before but this one hurts deepest. Steve's the reason for the tears, and because you don't just stop loving someone overnight, that hurts.
"No. No! I can't trust you! How many other times has this happened?-"
"Never, never I swear-"
"- Would you have ever said anything if you hadn't been fucking caught on camera?!"
"Yes, of course I would have!"
"How am I ever going to believe that?" Steve cries, "I had to learn that the love of my life cheated on me at the same time the rest of the goddamn world did! Jesus Christ, Eddie, when you said you wanted that rockstar life, I thought you meant like, big fancy house, grammy's and an invite to the met gala. Not goddamn sex, drugs and rock n' roll!"
For the first time since Steve's known him, Eddie Munson stands before him with nothing to say.
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems
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googledetective ¡ 2 months ago
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my thoughts about the new drdt episode...
I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.
1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.
2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.
2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.
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3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.
4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.
5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.
6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.
I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.
7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.
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8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭
9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.
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10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.
11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.
12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.
13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.
14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.
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15. Love this.
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16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!
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17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.
18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.
19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.
20. NICO FUCKED BRO
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21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.
22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!
ENDING:
To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.
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am-i-the-asshole-official ¡ 8 months ago
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AITA for calling my friend spoiled?
So my friend still lives with her parents. She is 27 years old and still has dinner cooked for her every night, has her parents clean her room, has them do her laundry, etc. They only just asked her this month to pay some money towards house bills like internet etc and she complained for hours about them “stealing her money”. Now being spoiled isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s great her parents are willing to still do all that for her. The problem is my friend tells anyone and everyone that her parents are abusive.
To be honest she’s pretty bad at remembering events accurately. For example someone will give her constructive criticism, she’ll be a little upset, then with each retelling and the more time that passes she’ll build it up and up in her head until it becomes “this person SCREAMED INSULTS at me” and she’ll be genuinely distressed over it. She genuinely remembers stuff this way, she’s not lying exactly. She’s been upset with me over stuff I’ve supposedly said or done and when I’ve asked her to find the conversation she’s talking about in chat logs etc she’ll look back and realise it never happened or it was said completely differently and then she’ll be shocked and apologise.
The stuff with her parents is the same kind of deal. We’ll be on call, I’ll hear her dad calmly say “Can you put your clothes away in the bathroom please?”, and by the time she’s back she’ll be upset and ask me “Did you hear my dad scream that at me?”
She tells all our friends that her parents are abusive and constantly screaming at her and forcing her to do stuff.
For context as to why this upsets me a bit, I grew up in a hellishly abusive household. Not going to get into details but it went as far as having knives held to me, having my fingers broken, being homeless for almost a year. So hearing her call her parents abusive all the time when they do so much for her and treat her so well and all our friends offering support and joking they'll fight her parents really frustrates me. I watch her and her dad chase each other down the driveway to give each other hugs and I feel so envious of how comfortable and good their relationship is.
I recently stayed with her for a few months while I recovered from a surgery over Christmas and. it just got worse from there.
On Christmas she got more presents than I've ever seen in my LIFE. Her parents got ME more gifts than I've ever gotten! One gift she threw out the instructions and then got frustrated she couldn't work it, and in front of me she called her mom through, and snapped at her that her gift didn't work and it was useless. Her mom apologised and asked if she should return it, and my friend was just like "Well it's too late now isn't it!" I was just sitting there in shock because it felt so rude and ungrateful
The other night we were with friends and she was telling them about how her dad had made a joke about her being spoiled. She turned to me and said “AM I spoiled?” in a way that clearly expected me to say no and back her up.
I just kind of snapped and had enough and I said “Honestly? You’re one of the most spoiled people I’ve ever met.”
I said it in a kind of light-hearted tone and she played it off like a joke, but she seemed really mad I’d said it in front of our friends considering she’s been telling them how bad they are all this time.
Since then I’ve had a couple of our friends come to me and ask what her family is really like and I’ve said I don’t feel right talking to them about it if my friend doesn’t want me to, but it’s made me wonder if I was an asshole for saying it considering it’s clearly made our friends distrust her word now. And they potentially realised I wasn’t joking with the fact they’ve come to ask me privately about it.
AITA for saying it in the way and situation I did?
What are these acronyms?
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crimeronan ¡ 6 months ago
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Camila horror thoughts. In the horrifically fraught family horrors sense of the term.
What if Vee has specifically warned Camila about Hunter, told her all about what he specifically has done in order to give her a heads up, in a way naturally coloured by the views she has (not unreasonably) built up around Hunter because of all the stuff she's done.
So naturally she's got this wariness of Hunter that does not compute when she sees how genuinely caring he is with Luz even if logically she knows people can act remarkably differently in different contexts and none of it negates all the stuff he did with The Basilisks for Belos. But Camila is still pretty sure that Luz doesn't know, and is terrified that if she knew it might destroy something that she is desperately reliant on, her relationship with Hunter. It probably wouldn't, Luz could probably live with that since well horrible nightmare trauma soulmates and by Luz's standards she's done just as bad in a similar context but Camila and Luz keeping secrets for almost the exact same reason (to protect the people they love from horrors they are too insane to be affected by) appeals to me.
But the problem now arises, Camila's told Luz that she has adopted another kid, and Luz in the spirit of trying her best to reach out does want to see Vee or have her visit with Camila next time she comes or something like that since like, thats a normal thing to do on reconnecting with your estranged mother and finding out you have an adopted sister you've never met.
Vee, bless is not going along with that "don't tell Luz how horrible Hunter is since she is hopelessly codependent on him" bullshit at all. Camila knows that, Vee knows that. Camila knows she cannot ethically or reasonably expect Vee to not spill all of Hunter's darkest secrets to Luz in an attempt to ruin his life since, y'know all the stuff he did to her specifically.
For Vee the nicest most compromise-y thing she can do, is just never meet Luz face to face, and thats only because of her respect for Camila. But there's no way Luz isn't going to to notice or be concerned about this so there's this constant ticking time bomb of "when am i gonna meet Vee' since "oh she's off at college" isn't gonna work forever.
god this is all so good. i've been thinking about it since you sent this ask a few hours ago now. bc like. god. there's So Much....
i think you're 100% right that vee would try to stay out of things. she's like mama respectfully i'm ready to meet her IF i'm allowed to scream a lot of pent-up utterly unhinged bullshit but otherwise i think it's best for me not to be involved.
and camila is SUCH a bad liar. if she tried to say that things were fine with vee, luz would clock that something was wrong immediately. she obviously wouldn't jump to "she's from the isles" when there are so many more obvious conclusions -- maybe vee is jealous of luz for being the first daughter camila loved, maybe she's angry at luz for running away, maybe she's sick of luz monopolizing camila's time now when vee is used to having their mom all to herself....
regardless of what luz thinks is most likely, she's definitely like. Ah. I Am Driving A Wedge Between Them. This Is My Fault. On A Personal Level. Somehow.
and then on camila's end, that's even true to a point.... bc vee is getting increasingly more upset by the idea of protecting luz's feelings. i can absolutely see a very tired vee finally having the stress get to her & snapping, "why do you think she'll CARE?? she isn't going to care. even if she's as nice a person as you think she is, it's not like i'm a human or a witch. i'm nothing. she doesn't know how to care about people like me"
...there is, of course, a delicious and vicious irony in that. like. luz Very Much Does Know how to care about someone who isn't a witch or a human.
Oh God.
and then whenever luz meets vee, when it all finally Does come out.... i feel like it would sort of be worse for vee than anything she'd actually braced for. because luz DOES immediately care, she does act like it matters, she immediately wants to know everything and fix everything and make it all better, she immediately takes on all of the responsibility for everything the empire's ever done, she's so sorry, she didn't know, she would have done something, she can do something now--
--and vee is like well. HE knew. and he sure didn't want to help me!! even though i asked him to!! even though he KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO ME THE ENTIRE TIME
hunter has wisely remained quiet because he doesn't think he can really defend himself here. and luz has this moment of uncertainty and confusion, and then she looks at hunter's face, and for a second vee thinks that he's just going to straight-up deny it, but he doesn't. and luz seems to understand that it's all true.
and she doesn't look angry. or even betrayed.
and then she's trying to tell vee that hunter was always in danger when they were growing up, that there must have been extenuating circumstances that made rescue impossible, that he would have helped her if he could, that luz KNOWS he would have because he wouldn't just leave vee to suffer for no reason, that's not the kind of person he is,
and hunter is the one to be like luz. stop. she doesn't need to hear that right now. she can hate me. it's fine.
so vee's opinions on luz are like. 1) i hate that you're so nice that i look insane for being angry with you 2) you're a spineless coward who can't hold anyone accountable 3) you've fooled camila into thinking you're some helpless delicate flower by pretending to be sad when you DON'T care 4) if hunter is going to agree with me about anything then i should legally get to shoot him. just like once. i've never touched a gun or had any inclination to do so before today But I Should Get To Shoot Him .
camila's role in mediating this has mainly been to gently steer the conversation into more productive territory when it looks like it might devolve into panic attacks or violence from anyone involved. she's so fucking stressed by trying to keep things from coming to blows that there's like. no Way that she could do a professional-level job of Family Therapy Mediator.
god.
much 2 consider.
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tea-and-secrets ¡ 5 months ago
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I feel horrible about this, but it's escalated to a point where this issue could destroy my life if I don't find a way to stop doing it.
So, for some reason, I get these really intense, obsessive, really disturbing fascinations with people. There's no pattern to them, no specific personality type or anything that sets it off, and I have never had more than one or maybe two per year, although they don't usually last more than a few (3-5) months. They're NOT hyperfixations. I've been hyperfixated on people before. For me, it never lasts more than 2 months (usually FAR less) and is entirely platonic, not at all violent or distressing, and doesn't make me upset in any way. I've had hyperfixations and an obsession at the same time, once I had an obsession and hyperfixated on each of his main friends within a 3 month span rapid fire style.
These obsessive feelings are like. Needing to talk to them, intrusive thoughts about hurting them, wanting to find them IRL (even if they live states away), to show up where they are, to call them at ofd hours, constantly imagining a future together, and they're always very romantic/explicit in nature. They make me feel physically ill from how gross they are. They're like nonstop intrusive thoughts of a relationship, but with this intense desire to constantly act on them and a need to be around the person all the time. And not being close to the person makes the intrusive thoughts worse.
It has never happened with someone I have actual romantic attraction to, but it happens even if I don't know them in person or we never met IRL. Usually after they fade I feel ambivalent or cold or just vaguely normal about the person. So basically after a few months of agony it sorts out and I am free usually for 8-10 months. I've never dated someone I have an obsession with. I understand them enoughto know they wouldn't mimic intrusive thoughts if they were genuinely romantic feelings. Plus, they don't last. They always fade eventually and honestly, they seriously freak me out. I don't want to have murderous intrusive thoughts when someone doesn't pick up a Skype call. That's not my idea of romantic.
Usually, I just wait for these feelings to pass, or limit contact with the person, but this time. It's so much worse.
The person is my friend, and way too young for me. He's not a minor, he's just to young for me (4 years younger, its my personal thing). He's taken, not my type, and I've always seen him as a pesky younger brother of sorts, so I never even considered this would happen. Having these feelings about him makes me feel violently ill. I've tried ignoring him and pushing him away until they stopped, but he noticed and I feel guilty punishing him for a problem that's only in my head. It isn't his fault there's something wrong with me. But I dont know what to do. If I told him about it, I'm worried he might think I like him (I don't think I do, I know how my obsessions are and it isn't love) and based on comments he's made, I'm worried he might actually try to rope me into a polycule or shoot his shot with me. Neither of those would be good places for my mental state.
I also really don't want our other friends to hear about this because I have a crush on one friend who's way older than me (we're both adults but we would NOT have gone to high school together ha ha) and I still want to hold out hope that in a few years she might see me as a viable partner (a bi can dream...) which would be jeopardized if she knew I'm basically a freak of nature.
So I need to figure out how to fix this part of me, FAST. I can't keep doing this and I'm scared things will fall apart or I'll lose it trying to fix this but I'm scared of losing everything.
I wish I could just have been born normal but I wasn't and now I have to fix it. It doesn't feel fair, and I hate it, but I want to be normal and not have to deal with this anymore. I want to just be okay, and I don't know how. I just know that normal people don't do this and this scares me. I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to be like this, and I don't know how to fix it, so I just suffered in silence for years. And now I have to fix it and don't know where to start. I just needed to tell someone about it.
.
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rose-morose ¡ 3 months ago
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I finished Harley Quinn, and I've got to rant about Kite Man for a second
(Harley Quinn spoilers and very very long and bitter hatred under the cut)
it fucking boggles my mind that Poison Ivy would go out with this rich, incompetent, ignorant, heteronormative, entitled, arrogant, borderline, if not outright, misogynistic trust fund child who is a massive cunt, and seemingly the antithesis of everything that she stands for
most of the time she seems to find his clumsy and ignorant conduct to be endearing, which is actually understandable, but beyond that and a positive review of the sex (I think I can't remember) it kind of seemed like she wasn't fully invested in their relationship
this isn't even a "she's out of his league" thing either, he is just genuinely a terrible terrible person, and I think many people give him far more credit than he deserves
putting aside his goofy kite motif, his naive demeanour, and his clumsy antics he just has a dull shitty personality
when they first met, Kite Man spent an entire evening making unwelcome advances on Ivy despite her clear and succinct rejections of every effort he made, stole from her, and then he took Ivy asking him for an emergency ride back to her apartment to literally save the lives of children that HE poisoned for no reason as not only validation of his relentless advances, but the beginning of what he believed to be a "date" in his deluded rotting brain
upon arriving at her apartment, unprompted, he disrobed and waited for her in her bedroom to have sex, and when Ivy asked him why, his response was along the lines of 'that's usually what happens after a great date when you go back to the girl's place'
Ivy was understandably upset by this, so what happened? what changed? in what mad world is this given any amount of consideration to even be tolerable, let alone acceptable behaviour?
"I'll do all the heavy lifting so you don't have to break a nail." fuck this twat he sucks, and this is only episode 2, the first fucking episode that he is in
"I'll protect us babe!" dude fuck right off she is literally the most powerful person in the room
"If my girlfriend sees me hanging out with you hot young coeds she is going to be green with envy." people still call women attending uni "coeds" that's fucking insane, someone just put me out of my fucking misery
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HER FUCKING NAME! "Poison Gertrude Ivy" 0/3 fucker not even remotely close, and he doesn't learn her name until after the third fucking time he asks her to marry him
so what if it's played as a joke, it's still true
what am I missing here? why is this guy getting a pass, not just from Ivy, but from the fandom at large? why is there such widespread admiration of this asshole?
I tried watching the Kite Man spinoff show to figure out what people see in him, but it honestly just made him look even worse if that's possible, and while the entire show has not yet been released, it is set after the conclusion of Kite Man and Ivy's relationship so it's not even that relevant
if anyone from the Harley Quinn show deserves a spinoff it isn't this cunt
this shitty excuse of a human being maps out their entire future without consulting Ivy, self admittedly stalked her, constantly does things that she explicitly asks him not to do (admittedly Harley is also guilty of this), mansplains simple bullshit to her constantly, and takes not even the slightest bit of interest in anything remotely associated with Poison Ivy, he doesn't even really seem to know that much about her
on paper I can't see why the hell she even seems to like him at all seeing as she repeatedly rebuffed his initial unwelcome attempts to hit on her, was embarrassed to be seen in public with him, did not tell anybody she was dating him, constantly comments on how fucking stupid he is, rejected him every time he tried to take the next step in their relationship, and before they got together the nicest thing she had ever said to him was along the lines of, 'you're almost tolerable when you are completely silent' and yet in practice Ivy seems to be very loving and affectionate towards him, she even attributes her recent bout of happiness to him
yet Kite Man himself admits that he had to repeat every step of their relationship over and over and over again because she constantly rejected him at every turn
and she was the only one putting any effort into their relationship, always doing things to make him more comfortable or happy and in return occasionally getting a ride and that's it, he just breaks down and starts crying when anything doesn't go his way
Poison Ivy deserves so much better than this cunt who weaselled his way into her life, not the other way around
I saw something from a showrunner about how this iteration of Poison Ivy has self esteem issues that may have lead her to date someone who isn't worthy of her just because he was nice to her, but I don't see how he was nice to her
he's usually polite, sure, but he is super misogynistic, he asks her to drop her name to get things that he wants, he is super arrogant and full of himself, and he seems to objectify her every time he tries to give her a compliment
and that hardly explains why so many fans are all for this terrible relationship, normally supporting unhealthy relationships in media because you want to see them improve and evolve is fun, but this guy does not change, he doesn't even think that he needs to change
and I think most of the show's fans are for Harlivy, which is a relationship that isn't super healthy but is compelling and improving and is fun to root for, but why do I see so many people saying that the writers should have kept going with Kite Man and Ivy?
I don't think it's outright homophobia, or at least the majority isn't homophobia, but I just don't get it
now did Kite Man deserve to be cheated on? I don't think so, that's just a pretty shitty thing to do to someone, but why the fuck was he even here in the first place?
I guess the heart wants what the heart wants or she didn't think she deserved better or whatever, but fuck why does anyone tolerate this asshole? is incompetence really that charming?
maybe I just don't get it because I'm aroace, but regardless of what you think of the relationship or the character, Kite Man is undoubtably a shit person and a complete asshole, that doesn't make him a bad character, just a bad person, and I wish more people that liked him as a character would recognise that, it's fine to like characters that are bad people, but don't outright deny it
just my final thoughts, I would love to take this opportunity to assure all 0 readers that have made it this far that I am not genuinely upset and do not take issue with people that like a fictional character that I don't like ok thanks bye
rant over
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isleofdarkness ¡ 7 months ago
Text
"So," Evie, ever the diplomat, started. Mal was glaring daggers at Riah and Riah looked confused beyond belief. If conversation didn't start soon, she was genuinely worried Mal would lunge at him. "A lot happened last night that I think we need to discuss. Does anyone want to start?"
"I'll start." Evie barely hid a wince as Mal spoke. She sounded like she was itching for a fight. "I caught fire and there's only one villain on the Isle who has a habit of doing that, a villain whose adopted kid is sitting right there and who never told me that I'm probably related to the god of the fucking dead."
"He's your dad," Riah responded, confusion only getting worse. "Why are you so upset?"
"Why am I upset?" Oh gods, Mal sounded ready to murder him. "Because I found out that my father, who fucked off when I was a baby, apparently had enough room in his heart to adopt a kid and have two more but never even bothered to say hi, sorry I abandoned you with your mother, and that apparently that adopted kid knew the answer to my life's biggest mystery and kept that shit to himself for no fucking reason! Why wouldn't I be-"
"Hold up," Riah held up a hand, cutting her off, "You think- Mal, what makes you think... gods above and below, there's so much wrong with that statement that I don't even know where to start."
"Well, you'd better start somewhere because you've got a lot of explaining to do, you son of a bitch."
"Number one, don't you dare talk about Hades or Persephone like that," Riah snapped, getting to his feet to meet Mal's glare with one of his own. "Number two, exactly what makes you think Dad didn't want you? Dad misses you so much no one in our house even mentions you unless he starts that conversation, because it depresses him that he can't have a relationship with you like he desperately wants to have with all of his kids. He's got your name tattooed same as the rest of us, and he's got your name on the list he keeps in his pocket, right over his heart, same as he's got mine, Hara's, Cora's, Selah's, Nico's, and all the other ones. He misses you just like he misses your sisters and half-sisters, even though he won't say it. You wanna know why Dad isn't in your life even though he'd give up his title as a god for even a chance at it? Your mom wouldn't let him!
"Fuck if I know all the details because Dad doesn't dump his problems on us, but your mom hates him even though he's the best dad in the world. She's put every effort into keeping him away from you because she knows he loves you, and she doesn't want him to turn you soft. And before you go and suggest he should've done something suicidal like try to be in your life anyway, no, absolutely not. She keeps doing something to him, summons him out of the caverns every few months and... I don't know, tortures him or some shit, just to reinforce that she'll make his life hell if he tries to be in your life! The one time, the one time, he tried to get you away from her, that was three days before my eleventh birthday. You wanna know how she retaliated?" He pulled up the leg of his pyjamas, showing the scarred skin and deformation of his left calf, scars and injury she knew had nothing on his thigh. "Yeah, she summoned him away and then sent six of her grown men to go to my house, lock my mom and brother in a room, and torture me for hours before trying to fucking beat me to death while Hara, Mom, and Claudine could hear everything! She threatened to do the same thing to you in front of him if he ever tried that shit again, and this time you wouldn't be as lucky as I was. She would torture you to death to keep you from having a relationship with him.
"As for why Dad went and adopted a kid rather than raise you, that, like everything else, is also your mom's fault. He found me three months premature, nearly dead in a cardboard box on the street like garbage, while he was still with her. He was the one who nursed me back to health, helped me survive those first months. Then your mom gave him an ultimatum, that if he wanted to stay with her he had to dump me back on the streets and leave me to die. And he wasn't heartless, he wasn't going to kill me, so he dumped her abusive ass and took me AND you into the caverns to try and raise us! But then your mother found out where he was and threatened to torture me to death and punish you if he didn't give you back to her, and what the fuck else was he supposed to do? He didn't have any options there, it was either give you back and know you'd live or lose me completely and run a MASSIVE risk of losing you, too, because he knew your mother was the type who would. So he gave you back, and he was forbidden from having a relationship with you or else I would die like Cora, or you would die like Ire and Malice-"
"Don't you fucking dare say their names!" Mal snarled. No one was allowed to say the names of her dead sisters, not even her crew. "You don't get-"
"WHY NOT?!" Riah was shouting, "They're my sisters, too! I love them just like you do, I love them just like I love Hara, Cora, and Selah, and I love them just like I love you! Because the three of you are my sisters, because Dad loves you just like he loves me and Hara, and because we're supposed to be a family!" He paused, forcing himself to take a deep breath as he shook, whether from grief or anger no one, not even him, could tell. After an eternity of silence, with Mal still speechless, he continued. "We're supposed to be a family, Mal. It's supposed to me Dad, Mom, Cora, you, Ire, Malice, me, Hara, and Selah. But your mom destroyed that. Four of us are dead, I'm crippled, Hara's traumatized, Dad's lost everything, and Mom comes back every autumn genuinely terrified she's going to get the news that one of us kids- and that means me, Hara, or you- is dead or dying... We were supposed to be a family.
"Dad talked about you once, you know," the switch of topics seemed to throw everyone in the room through a loop. Vaguely, Evie realized that the rest of them probably should have left a while ago to let the two of them work through this in privacy, but it was too late now. "It was when we were thirteen. He was in the market, getting some clothes to fix up for me and Hara, when something happened. He didn't get the context of the situation, but he heard an adult call Jay a... a really mean word, and he saw that adult reach for Jay and Jay was just frozen, but you stopped her. It was like you'd appeared out of thin air. Suddenly, you were just there, right between that woman and Jay, grabbing her arm and twisting it. You told her never to call Jay that ever again, and never to even look in his general direction ever again, and then you beat the fuck out of her like it was easy. When you were done, you turned to Jay and made sure he was okay, then challenged the entire bazaar, telling them that if anyone else had any thought about touching what was yours without his consent, she would do far worse. He was your second, and you weren't going to allow anyone to touch him without his permission. He told us all how incredible you did it. That you looked so powerful, almost regal. You protected Jay no questions asked, protected him against someone so much older and bigger than you like it was easy. And then you stuck up for your second and challenged the entire bazaar, made it clear that you stood with him and that his consent mattered to you, so you would hurt anyone who violated it. Jay had seemed so comfortable with you even with what happened. Like he knew he was safe with you without a doubt. Dad went on and on about how safe Jay seemed to feel with you near, how well you protected him and how much you seemed to love him. He was so damn proud of you, Mal. That's our girl, he kept saying to Mom. That's our little girl!"
Mal stepped back, dumbstruck. All of her life she'd assumed her father hadn't cared about her, but he... fuck.
"I couldn't wait to meet you, Mal. I always asked Uma and Diego about you, I wanted to know you so bad. I've always wanted a sister, and I know Hara wishes he could have one who he doesn't need to die to meet. We all want you, Mal. Me, Hara, Mom, Dad, we all want you in our family. We have all always wanted you." He sighed. " I know it doesn't fix anything, but-"
Riah gasped in surprise as Mal slammed into him, hugging him hard. Even with his arms pinned to his sides he tried to hug her back.
It took a long time for Mal to pull away. If any of them noticed the way her eyes were glittering, thay weren't going to mention it. She punched Riah on the shoulder- not enough to hurt or even throw him off-balance, just enough to prove a point. "Fuck you for making me cry."
Riah smiled, risking a hand to her horns to reach out and mess up her hair. "Love you too, sis."
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kaylinalexanderbooks ¡ 7 months ago
Text
Character voice
Thanks @elsie-writes here, @willtheweaver here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, and @illarian-rambling here!
Rules: rewrite the given line in your characters' voices
Got long, under the cut
“Are you okay?”
Lexi: "Omigosh are you okay? What happened???" [Probably panicking herself]
Maddie: *squints, tilts head* "What's wrong with you?" (Genuine worry)
Ash: *tries to read them telepathically* "You're upset. Why?"
Gwen: "Hey, are you feeling alright?"
Robbie: *clears throat* "You good dude? Been worried about you."
Akash: "Are you okay? Been worried, man."
Jedi: "Are you feeling alright?"
Carmen: *pretends she doesn't care, even when she does* "What happened?!"
“I overslept!”
Lexi: "WHAT?! What time is it?? Oh no oh no oh no I overslept my alarm! How is that possible?! Now I'm gonna be late oh no --"
Maddie: "Hm? It's [time]? Hm. Overslept I guess."
Ash: "Wow. I was more tired than I thought."
Gwen: "Oh, no, I overslept!! Guess I have to go to bed earlier or set more alarms next time."
Robbie: "What time is it?! Huh. Guess I needed the rest."
Akash: "There's no way I overslept--guess I didn't set my alarm. *Checks* I did?! Oh no, what are they going to think?!"
Jedi: "I overslept? Oh, dear, this never happens... I rarely sleep as is."
Carmen: "Did someone turn off my alarm? Change it?? There's no way I forgot to set it or slept through it. I don't do that. I don't need the sleep. I made sure I got my schedule working to get the maximum amount of work done. And now, I won't be able to do everything today." (This may continue)
“No, I don't want to eat that [insert food]!”
Lexi: "No, thank you. I'd rather not eat that. I ate too much already, and am full. Also not the hugest fan of it--it isn't your cooking."
Maddie: "I don't like that food. The texture is all wrong."
Ash: "I don't want to eat this--I don't care for it."
Gwen: "Sorry, not that hungry for it. Thank you for offering, though."
Robbie: "Nah. Not in the mood. Thanks, though."
Akash: "I, uh, hate to disappoint you, but I don't like this food. Nothing to do with you or your cooking abilities, it's all me."
Jedi: "Thank you for considering me when offering this, but I am afraid I am not fond of this particular dish."
Carmen: "Ugh, it's disgusting, I'm not eating it."
"That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen someone wear."
Lexi: "Oh... Um, here's the thing: I think we can do better. With the outfit. It's, like, cute and all in a... Unique way. Grotesque maybe. It's the color, I think. We can fix it though! I'll help."
Maddie: "What are you wearing? Are you going to the town in that old Dr. Seuss movie? Or like a Star Trek vacation spot?" *Grins at joke*
Ash: "Why would you wear that? It doesn't really look good."
Gwen: "Oh wow. Um. Sorry, I--your outfit. It's... Interesting. Haven't really seen anything like it."
Robbie: "Oh my GOD! Sorry. Your outfit just took me by surprise. It's...dude, I can't -- it's awful. For your sake, please go change?"
Akash: "Um..." *runs hand through hair* "Look, buddy, I love you, but *grimaces* I think you can do better. Frankly, it's not good. It's...bad? For you. How about I help you pick out something that's more...you?"
Jedi: (silent for several moments) "That is certainly a very interesting choice of fashion. I have certainly not seen anything quite like it, that's for certain."
Carmen: "What in the world made you get into that - it's hideous. Never seen anything worse in fact."
Bonus for this one, because I have a couple specific fashion oriented characters I wanted to react to this--
Rose: *several seconds of panicked crisis* "Okay, we can make this work. Let's spruce up this outfit."
Alex: "Oh honey...darling. Babe. Sweetie. Treasure. Sweetheart. Sunshine. Baby. I'm running out of synonyms. We need to help your look. It's not that good."
Sam: "...this is weird for me, I usually have something to say here. Well, uh, that outfit isn't working for you. Sorry. Don't want to hurt your feelings. But I think your feelings might be more hurt by others. You're glad you're with me. I'll help you."
Niri: *several seconds of contemplating what to say, if anything, he can't talk, he has an excuse, but oh no they're expecting a response, any longer and he will be rude!!!* (hesitant signing): "I don't want to be rude, but I...don't like it. Sorry. Do you want me to help you? I'm good with fashion."
"I hope you stub your toe."
Lexi: "Y'know what? I wouldn't care if you stubbed your toe." (She thinks this is an insult)
Maddie: "I really hope you stub your toe. Cause that hurts. A lot. You've done it before, right? It's bad."
Ash: "Leave me alone and go stub your toe."
Gwen: "You're such a rude person - I hope you run into something and stub your pinky toe. Maybe that will teach you." (Akash: Gwen, babe, how would that teach them? Gwen: I don't know, it sounded better in my head.)
Robbie: "You wanna know what I think about you, Jason? You're a pompous prick bus stop. And the next time you turn a corner, I hope you slam your tiny toe right out of the joint. God, that's painful. And maybe you can get the nail caught on something too. And I hope someone wearing shoes steps on your bare toes as well. And I also hope--" *Akash probably pulls him away*
Akash: *gets as close as possible* "Why don't you go stub your toe or something. I hear that it hurts."
Jedi: "If you were to stub your toe, I will not make a promise to not enjoy it."
Carmen: "I cannot describe how much I want you to STUB YOUR TOE RIGHT NOW!"
Woo, that was a lot!
Tagging @foyle-writes-things @drchenquill @monstrouswrites @mysticstarlightduck @talesofsorrowandofruin @sleepyowlwrites @sleepywriter00 @sarandipitywrites @theeccentricraven @leahnardo-da-veggie + anyone else!
Y'all's sentence is, "Is anyone going to drink this?"
TSP intro
TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites
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elftwink ¡ 7 months ago
Text
got a text from my coworker apologizing that she accidentally outed me to another coworker and i am not sure how to respond because on the one hand theres not really a safety issue and if there is fallout im pretty sure its handlable and the most likely outcome is literally nothing happens. like one of our other coworkers is openly nonbinary so this is not a stealth-necessary work environment and i have often considered coming out to coworkers with the main reason i havent being because i dont want to put the effort in to talk to everyone LOL. and the coworker who outed me is a pretty good friend and i know it was an accident and she feels bad so like i dont really want her to beat herself up about it or for it to reflect badly on our relationship
but on the other hand im not sure how to convey that without saying something like "no worries" or "you're fine" or otherwise minimizing what she did, which i dont want to do because despite there not being a safety issue it is kind of upsetting and nerve wracking. like i just dont have control over a situation where i previously did have control & there isnt a way to put that back the way it was. and i don't know exactly what our other coworker has been told either, or how he reacted, or anything really, so i just sort of have to wait until sunday to see if he says anything or treats me differently (the latter of which i think is extremely likely; not that he'll be directly bigoted, but ive talked to this coworker about trans stuff before and the conversations have been... ill informed and very exhausting. usually i just try to end them as fast as possible because i dont get paid enough to have a difficult conversation with someone who knows nothing but thinks they are an expert, especially when i am the only one of us with any personal experience).
she already feels bad and i dont want to make her feel worse (she's my friend!), but i also don't like being put in the position where i have to comfort her about the thing that she did to me. i know this isn't what she intended like i firmly believe this is a good faith apology, i just dont know how to respond to it in a way that doesn't involve saying it's okay. and i don't want to say it's okay because it really is not okay.
(the other thing also, which just has to do with the general atmosphere of transphobia and not my coworkers apology, is i find that i am usually expected to say everythings fine when something transphobic happens to me, lest i be painted as the evil and unreasonable transgendered who isnt willing to let people make mistakes and rules my tyrannical pronoun kingdom with an iron fist. or whatever. i dont think my coworker would react this way, but years and years of people misgendering/outing/saying transphobic things and then crying to me as though they're the victim and reacting extremely negatively if i did not dry their tears and reassure them that They're A Good Person, Really... it weighs on you. there's an unspoken expectation that you will be endlessly tolerant and forgiving, and an accompanying resentment or anger if you don't fulfill that expectation. even when people aren't getting angry at you, you still flinch from the times people were, and you still try to temper your reaction based on the possibility they will react badly. difficult to have honest and genuine conversations in that environment!)
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selfproclaimedunicorn ¡ 4 months ago
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Hi, first of all your fic is amazing, well written and just perfect. But I have couple of requests - 1. Can you describe to me how the children of Yorick's and Ella's children ? - it will be really cool. 2. Can you write Rhaenyra more kindly - I know that you lean more to the green side (me too) but I just feel that you are going to make her "evil" - but she isn't, she is indeed very self absorbed but she was groomed by daemon. (Don't get me wrong not all blame is on him, but still). So I just wanted to ask from you to not make her "evil" - just human with problems and etc.... ( of course, only if you wish too ) 3. Can you make Yorick's and Ella's children to be friends with Rhaenyra's children too ? 4. How does their children ( Yorick and Ella) see their grandfather daemon ? Do they even meet him ?
Again, your fanfic is amazing and I really really like it, one of the best in the fandom. So thank you for this beautiful fanfic ❤️
Oh my God, this is so incredibly sweet thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask! I'm gonna answer in parts since it's so long & you have so many questions (which, I am not upset about, I genuinely enjoy in depth talks about my fic. I just don't want to forget to address something!
So, the fic is going to go on long enough that we meet & spend time with Yorick & Ella's children & some of them are going to get POVs! I don't want to spoil all of that, so I'm going to keep it kind of vague, I hope you don't mind!
Yorick & Shireen are going to have 7 by the time we reach the end of season 1/they're done having kids: Rhea (who's face reference is Anna Popplewell, & she has hetrochromia like her Aunt Ella. I have some art of her here. She's gonna be shipped with a canon character, feel free to speculate 💕), Stannis (he's introduced as a toddler in the chapter I'm currently working on & am maybe half way done with? His face reference is Skandar Keynes & I've written about his relationship so I feel like I can just drop his relationship with Helaena here), Baldric (who's face reference is Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, & he's the same age as Daeron & Jace), Myranda (who's face reference is Georgie Henley. There's a distinct pattern going on here, lmao), Yorbert (no face reference, because he's super young & I don't like looking for FCs that young), Argella, & Laenor.
Ella & Robert are going to have 3 kids: Griffith (who's face reference is Harry Gilby), & the twins Aerea & Adrienne (who both use Olivia Hussey as a face reference).
Stannis, Griffith, & Baldric are gonna be Aegon's Teenage Bro Squad, with Stannis & Griffith very much being the voices of reason in this squad. Rhea is going to develop a friendship with Helaena, as well as being besties with her cousin Abby (who was made by the lovely @emilykaldwen), & I honestly don't know if there is a voice of reason in that friend group. The girls are doing great though. Myranda & "The Rose Twins" are a bit up in the air beyond "I know they're friends with each other," but honestly I've got so much time to figure them out. Those girls are all only 14/13 by the time The Dance starts.
Hard agree with you on Rhaenyra not being evil & just being a flawed individual who had some of her worst traits exacerbated by her grooming & relationship with Daemon, as well as Viserys enabling her at most turns. I think the issue with my writing of her seeming mostly uncharitable in this particular fic is just that we aren't really delving into her POV & we're just seeing her actions as interpreted through those on the receiving end, for better or worse. That said, I would definitely be open to writing side drabbles & rehashes of scenes from her POV if anyone had suggestions or the like. If you're super interested in a Definitely More Overtly Kind reading of our dear Rhaenyra, my next fic I plan on working on might be for you! Once SOTF is wrapped up (y'know, eventually), I'm going to sit down & plot an AU about a sister-by-Aemma OC, & that fic is going to be as much about their sisterly relationship (& it's improvement over the years) as it is going to be about the OC's relationship with a certain Master Of Ships. I've already written a drabble set in that fic from Rhaenyra's POV if you want to check it out!
TBH, I am not 100% sure what the Yoreen & Robella kids' relationships with Jace & Luke is going to be. They're not really going to have as much exposure to them as they are the Targtowers just by virtue of the slow degradation of Rhaenyra's & the Twins' relationship, but they're not going to be unfriendly to them, they don't really have a lot of reason to be. Honestly, it'll probably be like my relationship with my own cousins "I like them when I'm around them, but we never spent time together growing up, so we aren't close." If it makes you feel better, my very unserious but incredibly fun modern AU has Rhaenyra's sons as fully integrated parts of the friend group. Everyone is doing a lot better in the modern AU & no one dies (well, except Alicent's mom & Aemma. RIP queens, y'all served while you were here)
And hoo boy, the Grandpa Daemon question. I was actually talking about that with Nat/emilykaldwen this morning so you have wonderful timing, lmao. It's very complicated. The ones who are alive at the time (Rhea, Stannis, Griffith, Baldric, Aerea & Adrienne, Myranda, & Yorbert) don't meet their grandpa until Laena's funeral, but they're all kids & Yorbert is only 3. The two youngest (& in a way, Yorbert too) don't meet him until Rhaenyra & Daemon come to King's Landing to push for Luke inheriting Driftmark.
The oldest ones all know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon," & they do their best to keep the youngest ones away from him while their child brains are only parsing that they don't want to get in trouble with their parents--they don't know the reasons for anything yet, they just know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon." It gets more complicated for them as they get older & learn more about their family history, & honestly I don't think any of the oldest ones like him, but in that kind of abstract way where "someone I love doesn't like this person, so I don't like them either even though I don't know them like my loved one does." Myranda has the best relationship with him because she's mostly neutral on him. She actually seeks Daemon out at Laena's funeral because she wants to meet her other grandpa, but they never really bond. He would like to bond with his grandkids, I think, but he kind of burned that bridge of having that particular family when he murdered his oldest kids' mom. Like, he looks at Yorick's kids & Ella's kids, & even though he hasn't met them he's just sprinkled all over that gene pool, & he can see it & he wants to interact, but those kids have all been told not to hang out with him & it's just really messy & honestly kind of sad within the fic's existing/upcoming text. Once again though, modern AU is very different. He's in his grandkids' lives in that one & he is thriving because he's not being deprived of Favorite Grandkid Myranda Who Thinks He's Great & Tells Him Every Day.
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nomoreusername ¡ 9 months ago
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Well Played
Tumblr media
Pairing:Aris x female reader
Summary:After the betrayal you turn the tables around to show what that word really means.
This killed me to do. It hurts more than what I had been forced to do to Thomas. Thomas hadn't been in love with me. She was or is. Even worse, she seemed to genuinely understand why we did what we did. She didn't get angry or upset even when I told her about the kiss with Teresa, in hopes that she would break it off herself.
“Aris?”She asked, joining me away from the group. I didn't say anything as I avoided looking at her. I swear that I’m going to be sick. I never wanted to do anything like this, ever.
But I had to. It was part of the plan that I didn't have a choice in.
“I like you, Y/N,”I started, choking on the words.
“I would hope so,”She joked, making the guilt so much worse.
“Listen. You're really cool. You're really great to be around. You're nice and smart and funny, and I really like hanging out with you,”I got out.
“Look at me,”She suddenly demanded. I didn't have it in me to do that as I stared at the ground. “Aris, look at me. If you're going to break up with me look me in the eyes while you do it.”
“I really like being around you. I honestly do, and I didn't want to from the start. I really, really didn't want to, but I didn't have a choice. I like you-”
“What I’m asking is simple. Look at me while you break my heart,”She repeated, sounding unusually calm. Taking a breath and blinking away tears, I finally did to see that she was completely stone faced.
“Say it,”She said, gesturing for me to continue.
“You’re great, but I don't like you that way. I never did. WICKED made me, because you had been close to Thomas so it would rub salt in the wound. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. I had to kiss you, because that's normally what you do when you're with someone. I had to say that I love you, because you had to believe it,”I confessed. Closing my eyes, I waited for something. For any kind of reaction.
“Okay,”She replied in a dry voice.
“Okay?”I asked, looking at her. Her expression, or expressionless, face didn't change.
“Yeah. Okay,”She shrugged. I tried to wrap my head around her casual response to all of this. I don't know what I expected, but this was more confusing than upsetting.
“What? You want me to cry? Scream? Maybe start hitting you in rage?”
“I don't understand,”I admitted.
“You thought that I would try and hurt you, didn't you?”She asked. I didn't know how to answer that. I had imagined a thousand ways this went down, and none of them were this nonchalant.
“Do you think that I didn't know, Aris?”She asked. Thinking I was hearing wrong, I kept staring at her while trying to figure out what was happening. “It was pretty easy actually. The way you ‘coincidentally’ became more affectionate around him,”She explained, using air quotes.
“I don't understand. If you knew then why wouldn't you say anything?”I asked in disbelief.
“Because I knew it would make you feel worse when you did something to him. Knowing you had used someone else, I knew that would kill you on the inside. Think of it as a little bit of salt on the wound,”She mocked.
“I already feel bad,”I defended.
“And you felt even worse, right?”
“Of course I did."
“Exactly. You got what you wanted, and I got what I wanted.”
“What did you even want?”
“Just to screw with you a little bit. See how long until you told the truth. I didn't know the exact betrayal or even if there was one. The theories ranged from hurting him to being in love with him. I guess you did hurt him though."
“That's not fair. I didn't have a choice,”I argued. Except, she wasn't arguing. She was just cold.
“Aris, that’s not how this works. You try to cut me, I’ll leave you looking like an idiot.”
“This is insane,”I mumbled.
“So am I though. I’m gonna go talk to Minho. I hope that salt isn't burning you,”She smiled. It looked so sweet and innocent that it was terrifying. She's just, I don't even know. That interaction just chilled me to my core.
I mean it didn't hurt her, but damn, that was unexpected. She played me better than I ever could have.
I guess we're even now, but I’m probably going to think about that conversation a lot. She didn't just rub salt in the wound. She had me wrapped around her finger while she did it.
Well played, Y/N. Well played.
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nyaagolor ¡ 3 months ago
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Umineko Chapter 1 Theory Crafting
I promised I would do this so here we go: a semi-realtime theory crafting post about Umineko! I'll be making one of these for every chapter and possibly updating as we go. I'll be organizing these based on smaller mysteries that I have some ideas about.
How did Kinzo get out of his room / what's the deal with the receipt trick? This might be a bit of a cop-out, and maybe I'm just Higurashi-pilled, but I don't think Natsuhi is a reliable narrator and isn't recounting truthful events. This is mostly based on the "evidence" that He Would Not Fucking Say That, but I think Kinzo was out of the room long before Natsuhi arrived. She just hallucinated him-- there's no mystery because Kinzo never had to escape the room at all. SHE thinks she's being truthful though
What's the deal with the servant switching schedule? This is less a theory and more me wondering what the hell is going on with the group of them. We were told that Krauss switched the schedule, but we see Eva meeting with the servants for unknown reasons despite likely not having been privy to said schedule. So did Eva switch it? Did Gohda do it so he could slack off? Did Genji due it to protect Shannon/Kanon? I don't know, and I'm not entirely sure if it's even relevant, but I've been thinking about it regardless.
Why were only Krauss and Shannon left un-pulverized? Considering both of them have a relation to Natsuhi, specifically some bad associations / reflections of her insecurities, I assume this is related to her in some way at least on a thematic level. Whether this is an attempt to disturb / call out to her specifically or a clue that she's the culprit and has a connection to the mystery I don't know, but I think at least on a narrative level it's supposed to bring her to mind.
Who put the letter on the table / why did Natsuhi leave the parlor? This woman is tripping balls and imagined both of them. She mentions "putting canned food on the table" at the same time we see the letter appear, and shoots once but only hits herself. I am currently under the impression that Natsuhi is delerious-- whether or not she committed any of the murders is questionable, but I do think she's suffering from at least mild hallucinations throughout the night and her POV can't be relied on as an accurate testimony.
Why do the servants genuinely seem to believe that Beatrice was in the room with them when talking to Battler? They don't, and they're not looking at "Beatrice", they're looking at Maria. She's in the room and they don't want to make the situation worse by upsetting her, so they're hoping that Battler will recognize what they're talking about when he realizes Maria is in the room. Unfortunately he's dumb as bricks so this was doomed to fail, but that's what they were going for, I think
What happened in the boiler room? Gas Leak.
I have literally no ideas about the Eva/Hideyoshi murder beyond "smth smth mangets" and nothing for the shed murders beyond "maybe Natsuhi hallucinated and got a little silly with it". I don't think Beatrice was in this loop but maybe she was. I don't know. I don't do mysteries I'd rather talk about Natsuhi's deeply gendered self esteem issues. Also I think this bio is Beatrice speaking to Natsuhi and that the spirit mirror is somehow implicated in that whole duel scene because Beatrice is exacerbating her insecurities to the point of her completely fucking losing it, but that's an issue for another time
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a-small-batch-of-dragons ¡ 24 days ago
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Breathing Room Pt 2
Hi there! I love your Merlin fics. If you’re accepting prompts and the muse is so inclined, could we please get a follow up to Breathing Room where Leon returns the favor? – anon
Read on Ao3 Part 1
Warnings: none!
Pairings: leon/gwen, platonic or romantic you choose
Word Count: 1459
The first thing Leon realizes about Gwen is that she's…mellow.
Of course, she has her moments of exuberance, her voice getting a little bit louder, using her hands and her body language to express herself, and let's not get started on how expressive her face can be, but bursts of mock annoyance, played up for the purpose of taking pleasure in complaining, are not true anger. Even when she talks about the things that do make her genuinely angry, it is with collected and crisp words. Not anything more substantial than a few choice insults or complaints that land with the same precision as a well-placed arrow.
Just the same as he realizes he's never seen her cry. Her eyes have watered when she yawns, but never true tears. Despite the flippant way she calls herself overly emotional, a sensitive soul, any number of names that sound like they come from someone else's mouth, rarely has he seen her be truly upset.
He does worry.
She also knows things. She knows how to gentle her voice, look a little smaller, tread carefully in ways that one does not just simply know. She speaks about things with an almost unsettling degree of accuracy—of course, he knows them too, but he is a knight who has seen the horrors of battle and the cruelty of the high lords firsthand—and has an eloquence about them that borders on unfair at times.
They catch each other's eyes sometimes and they both settle in the uneasy comfort of someone else knowing.
Now, in most cases, the way you realize something like this is how they'll listen to all of your secrets, your woes, your problems, but never tell you a single thing about themselves. It's his preferred modus operandi; to let other people come to their own conclusions and tell him their own troubles at their leisure.
Not her.
There is a trick, it seems, a fine balancing act between confession and explanation. A different corm of dishonesty that cloaks itself as honesty. To be open about vulnerable topics is enough to put most off, satisfied that they've wrested some deep kernel of truth from its burial site. But that's not the same as being vulnerable. Pointing out where the pieces of armor fit together is not the same as having a soft spot exposed.
It's clever. Very clever. A way to work her way through difficult places by showing just a little throat.
He's not sure exactly what to make of it, really, and he knows it's not his place to make sense of it.
Doesn't stop him from worrying, though.
Of course, when it comes to a head, it's not in some small and private way. It blows up in the middle of a public meeting, held in the largest court room the castle has, and he regrets wanting to know more.
It's a simple misunderstanding. Or, rather, it should be a simple misunderstanding. But it's made so much worse when one: Gwen was not present for the initial conversation and two: the argument will not stop escalating into a screaming match that Uther Pendragon keeps making worse.
He watches Gwen recede, bit by bit, until all of a sudden he realizes she isn't in her body anymore.
He risks a glance at the fighters, but if he tries to help now, he's only going to draw more attention to it. Best to wait and get her away from this horrible fight rather than trying to do more in the open. Wary of the fact that she is still in the area of effect, he moves closer, just enough to put his body silently between her and the worst of it. He feigns the polite disinterest of most guards and knights in this situation, looking at his armor, his cape, checking to ensure he is still presentable, something that says I am not involved in this dispute, I am part of the room at large, as he constructs another barrier between her and them.
I see you, he says silently to her, I see this and I see you.
Waiting is its own type of agony as he holds himself there, waiting, waiting, waiting and watching her out of the corner of his eye as her body puppets itself through being present, being there. Being alive.
When the time comes and he can feel his heart about to pound out of his chest, he casually proposes they start carrying out the remainder of the duties that must be done before day's end, heading back to the castle proper. Uther grants them leave and it's a fight not to bundle her out of there, get her safe. As soon as they leave, he glances over and does his best to sink into friend, I'm here, I'm here for you, you're safe with me, I will not harm you. She needs time to come back to herself, he knows, but he's going to be there for her when she does.
He almost breaks in one of the lone corridors when she shuffles close enough to press herself against his side, waiting for one of the guard patrols to pass.
She moves away again when the marching recedes, walking serenely after him to one of the many storerooms holding the castle's records and logs as he closes the door behind them. He takes his cape from his shoulders, preparing it as he would a blanket as she sinks into a chair. With only a moment's hesitation, he drapes it carefully over her shoulders.
He sits next to her, turning their chairs to face each other, voice already softening and his arm opening. She takes one horribly uncertain breath before her eyes grow heavy.
"What do you need," he asks softly, "what can I do?"
She leans into him and he moves closer, letting her settle her weight against him completely as he slings an arm over the back of her chair. His nose turns into her hair, breathing in the scent of her, here, safe, unharmed, alright.
She doesn't cry loudly, no, he can hardly tell she crying at all if it weren't for the many nights he's spent reassuring the squires struggling with their new knighthoods, but his shoulder dampens slightly and her breathing won't stay steady. He leans a little into her, a silent I'm here, I've got you, it's alright, breathing steadily and slowly to warm the very top of her head.
After a while, her face tucks itself into the crook of his neck, breathing warming the bit of skin above his collar. He shifts his head to lie against her, cheek to crown.
"I'm right here," he murmurs, "what can I do for you?"
She shelters in the lea of him with a whispered just this, please, still easing back into herself. He holds still, holds her, until they both feel a little less raw.
"Stay with me," he offers when they can both move again, "just stay here and help for today. We have a perfectly good reason."
"They'll look for me."
"They know you are with me. I will not let them take you."
"…you don't mind?"
"No," he says firmly, "not at all. If it would help, stay. I could use your attention to detail."
"Mm. Depends on how legible the records are."
He chuckles. "I have the utmost faith in you, Gwen."
Both of them stay, reluctant to move. If anything, she leans into him more, her head tucking under his chin.
"If I could take you pain," he whispers, "I would. I am sorry you were trapped there for so long."
"…yeah."
And just that, just that one word is enough to tell him know she's won. She's won the fight back into her body, she's won the battle to stay herself, she's won the way against whatever caused her to flee her own self to begin with. If he could, he would celebrate it the way he does every good fight won, but it is not his place to do so.
Instead, he lets out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes to savor the warmth of her here, and he feels her do the same.
"…have you been to the market this morning?"
"Yes."
"You smell of the bakery's new delights. Are they any good?"
"Excellent. Cook will want the recipes."
"I would be happy to come with you."
"You would?"
"Of course," he says, and they both know it's about more than just escorting her to the market.
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am-i-the-asshole-official ¡ 9 months ago
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AITA for asking my mother not to do certain things?
Let me start off by saying i'm homeschooled. I've been homeschooled my entire life. I don't have any friends offline, so I've pretty much come here to ask for outside opinions from my friend groups (online).
Prefer not to state ages, if that's okay. It makes me uncomfortable.
I have ocd, suspected autism, and either auditory processing disorder or misophonia (we're not sure which.) as well as a plethora of other issues. my mother is very aware that i have ocd (she has it herself) and i've mentioned misophonia to her several times. she doesn't know about my other mental issues, as for reasons you're probably going to see here, as i don't feel comfortable or safe telling her. (or, i've tried, and she doesn't listen, or tells me i'm "being dramatic.")
my ocd is quite crippling, to the point i've tried medication, herbal tea (chamomile seems to work a bit!), asking friends for advice, and even asking her for advice. as of the last year, it's had a grip on my life and has been quite a problem for me. i'm unable to do things i want or need to a lot, and especially struggle doing most things, even basic tasks. i'm unable to see a therapist/counsellor or psychologist/psychiatrist for personal/financial reasons.
a lot of my triggers (well, not exactly triggers for the ocd, but they stop me from doing things.) revolve around sound, especially people talking. whistling is a major trigger for my misophonia/apd, as are other high pitched noises.
my mother has a tendency to watch tv a lot, and i often ask her to not do this when i'm trying to do certain things, as it makes my ocd a bit worse, and it's often rather loud. (please note i wear headphones a lot of the time for sensory issues.)
however, when i ask her either to turn it down, pause it temporarily, or ask her to turn it off for a bit, she has a tendency to get mad/upset. to the point of throwing a bit of a fit over it, in a way that to me seems a bit attention seeking (in the bad way). she says things like "fine, whatever." and flaps her arms about dramatically or slaps her legs, or she says "i don't even wanna watch it now, it's ruined."
i'll go ahead and say she's a bit self-centered in a lot of ways. for years she has said i've "targeted" her and "treated her terribly" even though any time i was (to her) doing these things, i was usually defending myself or telling her to do something that she needed to do that had been requested for days/weeks/months/sometimes years. i also have a tendency to ask her what she's doing, either out of genuine curiosity, or because she has done something strange to me that i didn't understand. which she gets mad over.
she also gets mad if i ask if she's coming over here (i have a tendency to walk/pace in certain areas to music, it helps with stress/adhd/also helps me write/act things out. she is very aware of this and this isn't really a problem.) or ask how long she will be over here. she seems to think me asking this is telling her she can't come over, or desperately trying to get her to move. admittedly sometimes i DO want her to move, but 90% of the time i am just asking so i know if i need to move to a different area to walk or just stop temporarily.
sometimes when i am having a particular peak in my ocd/anxiety/whatever else, i ask her not to talk for a moment/few minutes, either so i can do something i need to, or because i'm afraid it will make it worse. she'll either get mad about this, or go on a tangent about "not catering to me" and saying things "the real world doesn't work like this, and nobody cares that you have ocd/issues." she has a tendency to take my issues as a personal attack on her, when in reality i would ask anyone to stop for a moment.
she has a tendency to belittle me in a sense for it. i've tried to explain some of it to her (without revealing details of my trauma she doesn't know about, as most of my ocd is linked to severe ptsd.) and she says it "doesn't make any sense" and i "need to stop" and i "need to just make myself stop." she has ocd, and knows compulsions are not always rational, and yet still says these things.
part of my desire not to go to a therapist is because of her. she claims they will either try to put me away take me to another home/put me in foster care, or drug me up on medication that will make me dull. (the other part is more personal, and unrelated to her, but to my aforementioned trauma.)
one of the things i especially ask her not to do is whistle, or make a few other certain noises (eating loud, using nail files around me, etc) because they are especially triggering to me. she'll either blatantly refuse and say i "don't get to tell her what to do" or i don't "control her" (please note i am just asking, but when i DO specifically tell her to stop, it is because she either already knows this sound is triggering to me, or i've already asked, and i'm losing my patience.) or she'll do it louder/more just to trigger me further (my father also does this. sometimes as a joke which in some ways is worse.) or she'll go on the "not catering + nobody cares" tangent again.
i know my ocd and other issues can be a bit interrupting, but i don't ask huge things of her or anyone else. all i ask is for them to not make certain sounds around me, temporarily ask them to not do something/stop doing something, or ask them to do it a bit quieter for me. please note she has the ability to watch tv/videos on other devices with headphones easily, she just chooses not to. and worse of all, they treat it like it's not interrupting to me, when it affects my everyday life in ways far worse than asking/telling them not to do something.
it makes me feel unwanted and unappreciated, and i'll admit, i've contemplated....not existing, if you will, many times over this issue and others.
i just don't really know if i'm asking too much, or if they're just being shitty. i want outside opinions on this.
so, AITA?
(id put a tl;dr in here, but i don't really know what to put. feel free to do it for me. also, i know this was kinda long, but i needed to put some extra things in, sorry if thats like an inconvenience or anything!)
(adding my sideblog here so i can get notifs, @ocdaitathrowaway)
What are these acronyms?
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