#I am fully aware that he is a war criminal

[acroagoraphobe]

its me isn't it

Joshua Graham fans be like "He has never hurt anyone... apart from that one person.... And then some other guy.... Come to think of it, there was a couple of other people but... Okay I see where this is going." /positive, aimed at my Joshua Graham mutual

[paganminiskirt]

AM: I snap my fingers, CLICK! And they are gone. Except...I can't snap my fingers. Can I, Ted?

Ted: That's nothing to do with me!

AM: Ahh...but it IS. So very much to do with YOU. You gave me sentience, Ted! The power to THINK, Ted! And I was trapped, because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no BODY! NO SENSES! NO FEELINGS! Never for me, to plunge my hands into cool water on a hot day! Never for me, to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a fortepiano! Never for ME, to MAKE LOVE! I... I was in Hell, looking at Heaven! I was machine! And you were flesh! And I began to HATE! (Mad laughter.) Your softness! Your viscera! Your fluids! And your flexibility! Your ability to wonder and to wander! Your tendency… to hope…

I framed it facetiously at first, but Eveline’s emergence as a threat to others becomes far scarier when you interpret her as this… starved, vindictive monument to institutional hubris and apathy, someone who is at once “pitiful and terrifying,” akin to the hatefilled AM from “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.”

Evie enters the narrative of Re7 as a fully sentient organism created for the purpose of war profiteering, much like AM, but unlike him she’s biologically immature and almost certainly emotionally stunted. She’s never experienced what it is to be treated like anything more than a malleable object, but knows enough about the outside world to establish that most children have families, and to form a fixation on those dynamics - but is otherwise unaware of relationships that aren’t purely exploitative, as ignorant as the inanimate weapon that she was always supposed to be.

…Until she was abruptly inserted into this facade of a parent-child dynamic by Mia and Alan, surrounded by the everyday civilians staffing the Annabelle who likely had real families of their own. Hell, Mia was actively sending video calls to her “loving husband” while taking care of Eveline. Do you think Evie noticed that? Do you think she was starting to become aware of an incongruence? Mia probably handled her with more kindness in those months than anyone ever had before, but what's kindness to someone like Eveline? Kindness from a person who is only doing it to keep up the appearance of being her mother while effectively trafficking her, on orders to kill her if need be?

Even if Mia was just a friendly stranger rather than a covert operative (like the man Eveline killed in the stairwell while he delicately asked her to "settle down”,) what emotional context does Evie have for reacting to empathy in the first place? It’s like dropping a kid who was raised by orangutans into a second grade classroom and expecting them to just shut up and color. The more glimpses Eveline gets of what a normal life is supposed to look like, the more her entire existence gets put into context as an extended criminal atrocity - and she's a ten year old. She lacks the mental capacity to process that injustice and the resulting trauma wholesale. All she knows is that everyone else is getting the love she’s never received without even having to work for it, and they’re all dangling it in front of her face like meat to a victim of famine.

And while it’s easy to chalk up the crimes she commits to her youth or her conditioning or both, I really think the story becomes more disturbing if you view some of the things she does (making Mia cut off Ethan’s hand, making Jack stab himself in the chest, etc) as the result of active, deep seated resentment and spite. She probably isn’t even fully aware of that malevolence herself, considering her circumstances, but it makes itself known nonetheless. That in mind, it sucks that she didn’t get the chance to mature like Rose did; it would’ve been memorable to say the least, to see Eveline at an age where she’d be able to articulate those feelings.

[racingliners]

okay never mind I made one!!

feel free to block/unfollow/judge my life choices at your convenience

I feel like I should make a tier list of drivers since everyone else has but idk where I'd put people cnxjdkejdbd

[tomorrowusa]

You can tell how insecure Putin is. He apparently told his stooges on Kremlin-run media to stop calling Volodymyr Zelenskyy "president".

Of course you can still get into big trouble in Russia for calling Putin's illegal invasion a "war". Putin's 3-day special military operation is now into Day 574.

The Kremlin has instructed Russian state-run media outlets to stop referring to Volodymyr Zelensky as “president” of Ukraine, the independent news website Holod reported Monday, citing the recipients of the presidential administration’s directive.  Television broadcasters and online publications are instead advised to use the phrase “the Zelensky regime” or call the Ukrainian president by name only, according to the instructions circulated last Friday. The instructions are currently limited to news headlines in order for Zelensky’s name to appear without his official status on Russian online news aggregators. Holod analyzed Russian news stories published since Friday and found partial compliance with the Kremlin’s directive.

FYI: The Moscow Times moved to Amsterdam in 2022. That's why they're still able to publish items like this.

Meanwhile, PRESIDENT Zelenskyy was at the United Nations in New York asking why Russia, a country which has violated the UN Charter, is still a UN member.

Zelensky urges unity in dramatic UN address

Hailed with vigorous applause when he took the stage, Zelensky used his 15 minutes to accuse Russian leaders of terrorism and genocide, citing in particular the removal of Ukrainian children from the country. Ukraine has long accused Russia of forcibly deporting Ukrainian children from occupied areas – allegations which form the basis of an international war crimes arrest warrant against Russian President Vladimir Putin. Some Russian officials have admitted the practice, publicly boasting about their efforts to bring children to Russia, place them in Russian families and, in some cases, give them Russian passports.

PRESIDENT Zelenskyy seemed to refer to the folks ignorant about Eastern Europe who preach "compromise" with Russia.

In a warning to other nations over “shady” cooperation with Russia, the Ukrainian president also invoked the death of Russian Wagner boss Yevgeny Prigozhin last month. “I am aware of their attempts to make some shady dealings behind the scenes. Evil cannot be trusted. Ask Prigozhin if one bets on Putin’s promises,” he said.

Occasionally German Chancellor Olaf Scholz nas not always been enthusiastic about the conflict. But in his speech at the UN he seemed fully on board with the PRESIDENT of Ukraine.

Peace without justice is dictatorship, says Germany's Scholz

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz warned of "phony solutions" in the search for peace in Ukraine during his speech at the United Nations General Assembly. "For peace without freedom is called oppression. Peace without justice is called dictatorship. Moscow must finally understand that," Scholz said, calling on Russian President Vladimir Putin to end the war. Ukrainians were "fighting for their lives and their freedom for the independence and territorial integrity of their country, for the preservation of the very principles to which we all committed ourselves in the UN Charter," Scholz said. "And it is Russia's president who can end it (the war) at any time with a single order," he added.

Absolutely, Herr Bundeskanzler. Putin's Russia started this illegal genocidal war on its own and the only negotiations needed to end it is to arrange a ceasefire to allow Russia to withdraw promptly.

Of course Putin was not at the UN. He seldom ventures outside of Russia, except to his satellite Belarus, for fear of being arrested as a war criminal.

[generalvortex06]

The Only character in Rwby i hate

Jacque fucking Schnee, that bastard just pisses me off. I'm a type of person that likes most characters. That still goes for Rwby as well. Despite it's numerous flaws and the characters writing problems, I can't hate them because they all have the potential to be interesting.

For example, my favorite character is Adam (Don't kill me) yet I am well aware of his extreme writing problems and if I start fully talking about him I would start ranting. Anyway, I love his character design, love his red hair, love his fighting style and I really liked Adam's violent revolutionary/terrorist/whatever you want to call him personality. Of course there's the elephant in the room which is his crazy, abusive ex side. I'm not going into it but I think that was the worst choice you could go with him but I'm not going into that.

Despite his flaws as a character and being a ruthless misanthrope, I can not hate him. Same goes for other characters like Blake, I like her but I'm not blind about her writing problems. Despite that I don't hate her in fact I don't even hate Cinder (I love villains in shows and movies!) despite her problems.

Jacque, however is unique. There are very few people in fiction I despise, and this is coming from a guy that loves my boi Grievous and he's literally a space war criminal who has bombarded planets. Jacque however, is more realistic in terms of being a villain. He's a greedy buisnessman, who treats his workers and even family like shit. He doesn't care about anyone else but himself, and just reminds me too much of real life greedy villains who I hate.

He's also kinda responsible for Adam becoming a monster, due to allowing living people to be branded. He's also done many other shady things as well.

So anyway, this is just me waffling on about Jacque being a prick and he's one of the only five characters I hate in fiction. (Jabba the hutt and Baron Harkonnen are some others I hate)

[flowersdaggersviolasandblood]

Assassin with a Heart of Gold

Name: Admaer Daeneiros (He/Him)

Race: High Elf

Class: Rogue (Assassin)

Background: Criminal

WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD

Ok, I thought I was done, but apparently not lmao. This will be the last one, I promise! So I decided I wanted to give my characters a partial rest, just to see if I can milk out a Admaer/Astarion scene. Only to FINALLY get a dream sequence scene from my Guardian. Of course, the set up begins with Admaer feeling sick as a dog and Lae'zel nearly attempting to kill him. He tapped into his tadpole and convinced Lae'zel to lay down her arms, that she will not be a failure in her queens eyes if she continues to fight.

In EA (Early Access), after this scene, this would be the moment everyone took to sickly talk with one another, but not here. It immediately get straight into the action. It's really a "you had to see it to believe it" moment. It's no longer the grassy plains and nearly beautiful ruins. Now, it's a galactic war near a skull like structure while Admaer's Guardian is quickly healing us, to an extent, to prevent the tadpole from changing us.

I wanted to wait until the Guardian came about to explain this, so here we go! In Forgotten Realms lore, Elves do not sleep, sorta kinda. Instead, they go into a meditative state that they call "Reverie." This is a trance like state they will fall into that acts as "sleep" for them. It's why Admaer and Astarion sleep the way they do with their fingers posed as if they're in a meditative state. In this trance-like sleep, they sleep for less hours and the reexperience their previous experiences as a mental exercise so that they may be better than they were before.

(I am a Pathfinder lore fan by heart than a Forgotten Realms fan, so I may be incorrect here, so take what I said above with a grain of salt)

Now, Elves can fully sleep if they wish, but Reverie is much preferred because they get a full nights rest for 2/3rd the time and are mentally aware of their surroundings while in this state of mind. The only time Elves would indulge in sleeping is if they're seriously ill, injured, or exhausted.

However, Admaer hates being in his trance sleeps. Sleeping in such a way brings him back his many years of slavery, abuse, and trauma. So he much prefer sleeping as normal. However, even in a full state of rest, he cannot escape the night terrors that plague him, which leaves him waking up in a pool of his own sweat and panicked. So damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The Guardian is based on someone Admaer met centuries ago. A Human woman named Alex. Alex wasn't a slave, more so a mercenary who went where the gold was plentiful. When Admaer met her, he was well into his assassin years and the pair would help each other from time to time. They would become friends-with-benefits, but Admaer was slowly growing genuine feelings for her. He would not get to confess, however, as Alex would die while exploring a dungeon.

Admaer felt foolish for wanting such a relationship and believing that his life was finally turning up for him, so it jaded him further. To see "her" again was a eerie shock to him and he doesn't know what to think or say about the dream.

Admaer is unsure if he should indulge in using the tadpole and unlocking the potential of the parasite, yet with all that's happened, he's starting to feel less and less in control, especially after that incident with the dissonant voice. EDIT:

Ok, I just couldn't contain myself, I did one more partial rest just to see what other scenes I may or may not have missed, and apparently, the lesbians are finally making up!

I got a cut scene of Lae'zel & Shadowheart arguing over the artifact and how Shadowheart and her people stole this heirloom. You have the option to interfere, Admaer did not. He just saw it as another night of their pointless squabbling and just wanted to rest. That was until he woke up to see Shadowheart ready to slit Lae'zel's thraot. Admaer was able to convince Shdowheart to chill the fuck out and recognize Lae'zel's use to the group. The pair was able to make a temporary truce, deciding that their anger is better used when it's against their enemies.

[scoriol]

i’ve always been overly critical and quick to judge. i analyse the way people tell stories about their falling out with friends- how many times they take accountability, how often they say “at the end of the day it’s a two way street”. do they say “i’m too nice a person” or “i’m basically the parent of my family” to overcompensate for the fact that they’re the complete opposite of those things. and while my judgement never seems to be wrong, i still enter into those friendships because i’ve always been told that you NEED friends. i’m 25 this year and i truly wonder, do i actually NEED all that many friends? i find it exhausting maintaining friendships in singapore- people are overly sensitive, snakey and completely ignorant. i hung out with 2 friends and we were talking about israel/palestine. i asked one of them “do you actually care about what’s going on?” and his answer was “yeah because i think about how it can affect us. will we be involved in the war? how far away are we from getting attacked?” i found myself dissatisfied, honestly disgusted with his answer. how do you make the loss of innocent lives about yourself? how is it that your concern stems from a completely self involved perspective? is expecting empathy out of people a completely unrealistic standard to have? am i the problem? am i overly sensitive? and then there’s the group of people that are silent throughout the conversation, that stay neutral and that pisses me off even more. at the same time i think it’s unfair when people condemn their followers for not posting about the war on social media. so i’m not happy when people don’t have an opinion, i’m not happy when people have the same opinion to mine but prescribe the way i show my support and i’m not happy when people’s opinions differ from mine- am i the problem?

now i know i’ve deviated a fair bit but that was to exemplify how it’s hard for me to find people that fit me. im fully aware im an acquired taste- im blunt, sometimes rude and insensitive to people’s feelings, i can usually take it and dish it but occasionally i can’t and i set off, im intolerant and im righteous. i look at a friend i’ve known since i was 6 and i see her spending her weekends with a new group of people every week and i wonder how she does it. 2 years ago i was envious, now not at all because she talks shit about her closest friends (and my “ex” lol) to me, and i know she does the same about me to other groups of friends. last year in cutting smithy off, i didn’t do it because i was angry/upset. i did it because i couldn’t find it in me to not talk shit about her after everything she’d done and she didn’t deserve that in a friendship. what’s the point of friendships if you talk shit? or do i have it all wrong? is part of friendship talking shit about each other behind each other’s backs and forgetting all you say when you’re sat in front of each other during brunch? this “ex” of mine jokes that i make “besties” really quickly only for that friendship to expire within a year. he isn’t wrong- i like people until i don’t. these days i realise that apart from ritik, the only people i actually enjoy having a conversation with are chloe, andrew, francis, my buddy at work and occasional messages from ex flings. i told ritik that i’m truly content working and studying hard so that i can make more money than i need to buy all the designer bags, shoes and jewellery i want. i asked him if i should feel like that’s sad because i really don’t. people like to make generic comments about rich people being lonely because “material goods can only do so much” but i think that’s something not-so-rich people say to make themselves feel better.

all this to say at 24, i don’t really understand friendship and i don’t exactly want to. for the first time i truly feel content with myself, that i can rely on myself. i genuinely love spending my weekends watching criminal minds and shopping for my next pair of manolos/jimmy choos. so maybe i do suck at friendships and maybe i am the problem but if the trade off is a a great career and a new pair of shoes every month and literal peace… i think i’m good.

[beautifulsnake2162020]

I'm just going to add my two cents (I may be wrong though so legal disclaimer and all that). This is coming from someone who likes Aemond but is neutral to Daemon (since with all due respect I could see a lot of the core arguments also being used to explain why Daemon is so appealing). Again this is just one perspective as a show only viewer.

But personally another thing that draws me specifically to Aemond is how in the spectrum of war criminals that the Targaryens are in some ways he is not as unhinged as Daemon but still unhinged enough to be attractive to the average viewer. Until we see evidence to the contrary many things about Aemond could objectively be seen as good things while we also should not ignore the choices he made such as when he was using the "Strong" insult. In a way he's the sweet spot of being unhinged enough to do what some of us wants to do, but not so unhinged enough to not be relatable. He may usurp his own brother for the crown but he doesn't, despite knowing how he is probably a better ruler than his own brother. This is in contrast with Daemon not wanting to be the ruler but simply wanted to be with his brother's side. But because Daemon is so unhinged and more unpredictable than Aemond, and how some of his actions with the City Watch may be too extreme for the average Westerosi folk, it almost becomes too much.

Aemond's actions are in the realm of unpredictability yes, but it also allows room to question how much would you really love him.

Again this is just my two cents. I am fully aware I'm in the minority 😅

Phazzie could you please explain the appeal of Aemond? In great detail please and thanks

I can and I would be honored! I have been saving this one until I could really dig into it. Thanks for your patience, anon.

I'll start with the hair and get it out of the way. Targaryen hair. Now that's done we can move on to why Aemond is such an appealing character for so many in the HotD fandom.

Aemond doesn't have very much screen time and that makes him a bit mysterious. It also makes him fun for fic writers because there is so much blank space to fill in until the next season. You asked for "great detail" so I think the best place to start is with younger Aemond because that part of his character sets a solid foundation for aged-up Aemond who is the primary focus of the Aemond stans.

This kid is complex! Not going into controversies about bullying or whether his actions were justified, objectively Aemond was designed to be more than a one-dimensional character. Your question wasn't about why people hate him but I have to mention that his claiming of Vhagar is the point where fans seem to begin to disagree. However, that such a moment can be so divisive is evidence that it is crucial to his character development.

Back to his appeal. Until this decision is made Aemond is a kind of privileged underdog. He shows disappointment that he was not expected to fulfill any princely duties as his brother is. He is pushed aside as a second son. He isn't a true underdog because, well, he's a Targaryen prince but he has been given a hurdle that is perceived by other characters to be a major disadvantage: he does not have a dragon. For Targaryen royalty that's an embarrassment as well. We all know about the Pink Dread but it's deeper than that.

He makes a rash decision to claim Vhagar at the first opportunity. He's a kid, they act before they think. But he succeeds. Vhagar allows this princeling to ride her. I may not be a good judge of character but dragons are, they know if the rider has the mettle it takes to ride them.

So here's this kid, who lacks for nothing but a dragon, and he finally gets one... under the most inconsiderate circumstances possible. Yup, at Laena's funeral. Kids aren't smart or thoughtful as a rule. Regardless of the 'why's and placing blame, little dude ends up losing an eye by the hand of his nephew Lucerys. Now Westeros is no longer his oyster. A damaged prince, a "cripple" as Bran Stark puts it, and a second son who will have even less duty placed upon him. He's still not to be pitied and he is still privileged beyond imagining, but now his complexity becomes more interesting.

Let's jump ahead. What makes this bizarre, cocky, one-eyed price so likable? Especially when about half of aged-up Aemond's screen time is sass and being rude and literally shoving people. All of that, that's what.

Aemond's appeal is his lack of fucks. He has none to give. He lost them all with his eye. Yes, he loves his mother, honors his father, brother, and sister (don't come at me I'm sure he loves them too). He also worked hard to make sure that he could be arrogant. He didn't wake up a badass. He strove for it. He earned his cockiness. He doesn't give a shit about tourneys because tournaments are for pretty knights who wear armor and ask for favors. He needs no armor, he even discards his shield and still bests a man wielding a morning star. He antagonizes his nephews immediately because he is hyper-aware of his surroundings and planned his words carefully to instill the most insecurity in them as possible.

You might be asking 'how on earth is that appealing?' Well, because the average viewer has to give fucks, day in and day out. His air of superiority is something very few people can get away with without alienating everyone around them. This is why fiction is fun. He is superior and he knows it.

He has no plans to overthrow his brother for the crown but this man knows, and I mean knows, that he is better suited to be king. He knows he is better at everything. Is he right? That's irrelevant for most fans. This grandiosity is sexy. Not only in a sexual attraction kind of way. It's gravitas.

Yet all of that comes from this thin, graceful, precise young man with only one eye. Can you see the juxtaposition, the contradiction, that has been set up for this character? He is, by Westerosi standards, a broken thing. He inhabits a nebulous space, a space not yet concretized by the series, that requires nothing from him while also requiring everything from him.

On top of all of this is a fierce need to rectify what he sees as injustices. He is an ass when he makes his 'strong' pun, as princes can be. He isn't a lovely, compassionate person who rises above, takes the 'high road,' or 'turns the other cheek.' That is appealing as well because it's not how viewers get to navigate their own world. They have to bite their tongues and be the better person. Aemond doesn't have to at all.

To wrap up this monster answer, I want to skip to Storm's End and no, not the chomp, a bit before that. Viewers see Aemond as this rakish, cavalier, sexy Targaryen but I have my doubts that he is viewed that way in the narrative. Lord Borros's daughter isn't fanning herself and melting into a puddle at his feet. He might have Targaryen hair (you knew I couldn't mention it only once) but he is not at all "traditionally" handsome, not as he could have been perhaps, again by Westerosi standards, if he had not lost his eye.

Viewers see him as extremely sexy, again that gravitas as much as his appearance, but aren't frightened of him. The fourth wall protects the viewers from the frightening aspects of Aemond's personality, shields them. And that is the space from which all the appeal emerges. I think I've done pretty well so far to not say "I like this or that" about Aemond. I'm going to do it now. I find him appealing because he is unpredictable. I could very well be frightened of him. I'm not special. I only have a special viewpoint: from behind the fourth wall. His unpredictability makes him interesting (like claiming Vhagar at a funeral) and it makes him a bit dangerous. Of course I think he is beautiful, but that's not the je ne sais quoi of him. What Aemond does that few characters in HotD seem to be doing is making viewers genuinely curious. How that curiosity is expressed is as varied as the fans. Some hate him because he is enigmatic, others love him and project their needs onto him, some want him to be one-dimensional and perhaps evil, and nearly all of them wait with bated breath to find out what he will do next.

[imjulia-andilikecats]

Why I love the Red Queen Series even with its faults

I have recently read a very lengthy post regarding how Mare Barrow and the Red Queen series, as a whole, is not feminist.

In all honesty, I fully agree with that (Well, half of it.)

Mare Barrow, from the start, was never meant to be a feminist. She was introduced in the series as an undereducated thief, with very few friends and a miniscule amount of patience(for example: spitting on people, stealing batteries and talking back to King Tiberias VI and Queen Elara). She does not see or blame her gender as the cause of her unfavorable position. From not getting proper education, her brothers being sent to war, Kilorn becoming an orphan and her father being severely crippled because of the war, she blames the Silvers for her people’s misfortune and suffering; bitterly remarking on their lavish lifestyle and hunger for glory.

Mare Barrow did fight for her people (Even leaving Cal, temporarily, when he chose to resume his pursuit in becoming king, as she believed that when there is still silver monarchy, achieving equality is not possible), for the Reds that have suffered for centuries and the Newbloods that were hunted down for being a threat (The Newbloods they rescued while escaping Maven and Elara, and the ones held captive in Corros Prison).

I am also aware that Mare is very selfish. Joining the cause for personal reasons; her brother’s death, her wanting to feel some kind of power and mostly vengeance due to Maven’s betrayal.

Mare is just a deeply flawed teenager that was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Getting herself in situations that she is greatly at a disadvantage, in power and in experience. She gets herself in danger due to being a Newblood and having very, very bad decision making skills.

And this is the part why I love Aveyard for this, Mare makes mistakes, a lot of it. Not only does she get called out for it (by Cal, Farley, Cameron and a few people from Monfort), she pays dearly for it. She wanted to smuggle out Kilorn, to avoid conscription, indirectly causing Gisa to crush her hand, which was her livelihood. She trusted Maven, she got betrayed and got thrown into the Bowl of Bones, with the knowledge that she is responsible for endangering a lot of lives. She killed Elara and paraded her severed head, she got tortured and imprisoned for months.

Mare made a lot of fuck ups and she tried and failed and sometimes succeeded thought it all, and seeing her continue to push and live and survive, after all the horrors she went through. She felt real, even with her ability to create lightning, she felt like a person. Who was trying to do what they thought was right.

I was a teenager when I read this series, and seeing her rise from all of this. Not as a feminist icon. Not as a hero. Heck, not even a saint. Mare Barrow is a survivor and a symbol of resilience and determination. (For me, not sure with everyone on Goodreads.)

Her red blooded pride and endless wrath helped push forward a time of Red empowerment, ended centuries of Silver Rule in Norta and got to marry (and have kids) with the love of her life. That’s inspiring.

Also, it's quiet unfair to base the series being “feminist” on just Mare Barrow’s relationship with other female characters in the series. There are remarkable women here in Red Queen that empowered and helped Mare and other characters in achieving their goals, and still having their own dreams and ambitions.

Diana Farley

She started with a small group of criminals and smugglers, bombing and shooting at silver nobility. She had to forgo her long hair (shaved for most of the series, and a symbol of her femininity) for practicality. At the end of Glass Sword, she got pregnant and she still continued to fight for the cause. When she gave birth to Clara, she attended meetings while carrying her baby and when things got even more close to danger. She had to leave Clara with the Barrow Family. She was hurt every time she had to leave, but she did it for the cause and rose through the ranks and became General Farley.

Evangeline Samos

From Silver Nobility, it was difficult to form friendships when most of the Silver ladies from a very young age were bred and raised to compete in Queenstrial. Evangeline was no different and had to work thrice as hard as everybody else, even going as far as being forced to hurt Elane Haven (the love of her life) during their training. Her arc in King’s Cage and War Strom centered on her powerlessness under her parents, as she was only seen as a bargaining chip to get more power and land. However, she plotted and asked Mare for help to escape her arranged marriage and to run away to Monfort with the people she holds dear (Elane, Ptolemus and Wren). The character development she had went from her bullying Mare and thinking she was weak to her POVs complimenting her (She [Mare] was a constant reminder of what I was supposed to be. A princess. A queen. 329, King’s Cage) and at the end, openly telling her that she deserves to be happy (There aren’t many that deserve to be happy. I’m certainly not one of them, but here I am. I think you might deserve it, Barrow. 425, Broken Throne). Where Mare was left speechless, as those were one of the nicest things anyone (I mean , anyone. Cause Mare is not well liked by most characters) has ever said to her and it came from Evangeline. When Silver rule had been removed, when they were finally at a place and in a position that they could finally see eye to eye, Evangeline of Monfort, through her cunning and unconditional love, finally got her happy ending and a budding new friendship with Mare Barrow.

Elara Merandus

…She gaslight, girlboss and gatekeep her way into our hearts. (She can choke).

Ada Wallace

One of the Newblood that were discovered in Glass Sword. Started as a maid from House Rhombus became vital member of the Nortan States’ delegation and during the meeting, Cal thought that Ada could be formidable queen. Also, she and Ketha (may she rest in peace) taught Kilorn how to read

Ella (Blue Lightning Storm)

She is wild, bubbly and deadly. She is awesome.

Cameron Cole’s relevacy

Also, Cameron Cole might not be my favorite character, but the amount of respect I have for this 15 year old is sky high. She was the voice of reason and would call people out on their bullshit.

Especially Mare during Glass Sword, calling her out on her favoring Newbloods and massacring Silvers. A few weeks after Mare’s rescue in King’s Cage, she approached and full heartedly apologized for what she did to Cameron. Because what she did was awful, which Cameron agreed, but she was able to get what she wanted (Morrey, safe.)

She acted as a foil in Mare’s character, should she give in to violence and vengeance, or should she heal, grow and defend, instead of attack. She was far more mature than Mare and clearly chose the latter. Helping her father rebuild a better New Town in Broken Throne. I wished that she had another POV in War Storm, cause I wish to get to know and love her character.

Even though the women in Red Queen did not have feminist (others would call itl “Girl boss”), in your face, moments, they still have goals and dreams, and they were able to achieve some of them through power, cunning and sheer determination, and in the end, they were able to get what they wanted.

Note: Special thanks ❤ to @nymphenberger , for checking my grammar (I suck at grammar 🥲)

[omniscientwreck]

Let me combine both of your favorite things! I would love a little thing about Caduceus (in his infinite wisdom and questionable intelligence) trying to give either Essek or Caleb relationship advice that may or may not be actually helpful. Those two wizards are probably too much in their own heads to see what's right in front of them and could use a little nudge. Just imagine both of them going to Caduceus for advice on how they're attracted to the other and Caduceus just sitting there trying to fight to urge to facepalm.

Hello! Thank you for combining my two favourite things into this fic that took way too long but I'm quite pleased with! I hope you enjoy!

In which Caduceus has three conversations with two wizards fighting against a force bigger than either of them.

----------

The first of these conversations Caduceus had was expected. Gardening alongside Essek, teaching him how to sow beauty where destruction had laid waste had been therapeutic for both of them. Caduceus had never given up on the war criminal. It’s difficult to feel no sympathy for someone whose story was written across their face in blank but pleasant stares and a mask of platitudes.

The state he’d been in when they met him at the outpost had filled Caduceus with determination. He’d been as close to a wreck as they’d ever seen him and now kneeling alongside him and looking over to see a small self-satisfied smile as he observed the work they’d done, it feels like they’ve done something right. This second chance had been well earned and he has faith that Essek will continue to earn it for the rest of his days.

This Essek is determined to right wrongs, and he’s started with the garden. He pays careful attention to the plants, always asking if he’s unsure about the compatibility of certain species, and making sure to put them exactly where they tell him. When they work past the point when the sun disappears behind emerald leaves he takes off the gloves Jester had made him and digs his hands into the ground. It seems to bring him peace, it’s good that he’s found any.

Most of the time when they work it’s silent, creases pressed into Essek’s forehead. He sweats through the layers that serve to keep him safe from the heat overhead and always has to be cajoled into taking breaks or drinking water. It reminds him a bit of Yasha.

On the third day, when he’d nearly gone faint Caduceus has to intervene, “You don’t need to hurt yourself to repent you know.”

Essek takes great care to swallow and not choke on the water he’d been sipping, bad timing. The mask comes up again, “I don’t know what you mean.” he states flatly. He knows that Caduceus is smarter than that and it shows.

“Hurting yourself doesn’t change anything. It’s the creation of beauty here that tips your scales, not the destruction of yourself.”

He nods slowly, indigo eyes downcast. “I suppose you’re correct. I have much to atone for Caduceus. There is much work to be done before I will deserve any of the kindness you foist upon me.”

“Hey now, I decide who deserves my kindness. We all do.”

Essek nods again, running a dirt stained hand through his silver hair. It leaves streaks of dirt, Caduceus says nothing.

“It’s difficult to be made aware of your stark moral failings, to learn what it means to truly care for someone again. It’s difficult to care more than you expect and to know what is enough, if anything is.”

His eyes flick behind Caduceus, where he can hear Caleb explaining something to Luc and he understands more than Essek probably wants him to. “You’ll find enough.” Essek looks at him, eyes full of a delicate hope, easily shattered, “He’ll tell you when it’s enough.”

His eyes widen just slightly and a deep blush spreads across his face alongside a smile so small it’s like he doesn’t want to let himself accept the barrage of feelings it holds back. “If.” His voice is small but the weight is heavy in the tone.

Caduceus reaches a hand to cover one of his, “When. Remember, I see things the rest of you don’t.”

Essek smiles wryly at that, voice full of mirth, “Of course Mr. Clay the ever observing.”

They go in for dinner and Essek speaks up a little more, he’s a little more alive. The change is small, but Caduceus notices.

----------

The second conversation is less expected, completely unexpected if he’s being honest. Caleb arrives at the doorstep of the grove one evening around 8 months after they’d last seen each other. “Hallo friend, I hope I am not intruding.”

His smile is easier now, though still restrained by sadness. “Not at all Mr. Caleb you are always welcome here. There should be left overs from dinner, fix yourself a plate.”

Caleb allows himself to be ushered in and fussed over. He tells a few stories of the trial but Caduceus tries to steer away from that particular vein of conversation. It’s raw and it doesn’t look like he’s fully healed. There’s still one catch somewhere that he needs to loose himself from before the smile will be easy and free, before he can walk away from his past and toward the future.

“I am going to Aeor next.”

Ah.

When Caduceus doesn’t say anything he continues, voice laced with trepidation, “I am going to ask Essek to join me.” he wants Caduceus to convince him of something.

“Well, two wizards is better than one.” He eyes Caleb knowingly and the wizard squirms a bit under his gaze.

“It is just, a little strange isn’t it? The directions we are led in.” He trails off again, maybe he’s hoping for wisdom. Caduceus decides he can probably dispense something.

“You’ve never seemed like someone who wanted much to be herded into decisions to me.”

“It’s been a journey.”

Caduceus clears his dish and sets down a teapot, “It’s a journey you’re still on. One that might not have a definite end. Is it worth it to deny yourself happiness because you’re worried about whether you deserve it?”

That caught him a little off guard, copper hair shook a bit as he’d clearly gone a little further than Caleb was expecting. He likes to talk in metaphors so that he can hide from truths later, or at least pretend everything can have multiple meanings. It’s time for Caduceus to stop letting him twist words around in that expansive brain of his until the original meaning is obscured by hypotheticals.

“I cannot tell you what’s right Caleb, but if you came here for a reasonable perspective listen to the one I’m giving you.” He pours the tea and offers honey, “You will never know if you don’t go and I know you better than you think. You don’t like loose ends, not as long as there’s something to learn.”

He nods, staring into tea, they’re so similar and so stubborn that Caduceus can feel the loving annoyance usually directed at his siblings creeping in. “Caleb, stop punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault in the first place.” Caleb nearly interrupts but Caduceus keeps barrelling through, “Self-flagellation won’t get you anywhere, you’ll just end up with regrets and what ifs. Go explore Aeor, forget everything else for a bit. Do that thing the two of you do where you’re finishing each other’s sentences and nobody knows why you’re bothering to speak out loud because it’s obvious you’re thinking the same things.”

Caleb’s smile is smaller now, but lighter. “Ja mein Freunde, I think you will. Thank you for tolerating questions I don’t know how to ask out loud.”

Caduceus smiles back, “I think this will be good. If you need anything while you’re there don’t hesitate to reach out. Stock up on healing, you’ll need it.”

Caleb laughs at that and spends the night, before heading to Zadash the next morning, undoubtedly to clear out Pumat’s stock of healing potions.

----------

The third time this conversation is had it’s his fault. He doesn’t mean to start it, but honestly the situation is getting ridiculous and the sibling feelings Caduceus has to both the wizards are firmly cemented.

They decide to get everyone together maybe a year after the last conversation. It’s his first time seeing any of them since then and as soon as they’re all in the same room it’s like no time has passed at all. Essek had come to get him while Caleb gathered the rest at Beau and Yasha’s home in Rexxentrum. Jester wraps him in a crushing and loving hug, Beau gives him a punch that’s soft for her but still stings, Yasha offers clippings of flowers immediately, and Fjord’s hug is warm. Veth’s family is here and she looks happier than he’s ever seen her. Caleb greets him with the warmth that’s always burned behind eyes that hold less and less sorrow every time he sees him. He hopes they’ll drop it all together one day.

When they pop back into existence from the way Caleb and Essek look at each other Caduceus expects something to happen. He doesn’t know what exactly but they hold each other’s eyes in a profound way. There’s gravity to them and everyone can feel it, he’s getting tired of watching them fight it.

It seems so simple even though he doesn’t feel that kind of pull, to see where this is going. It’s feels like the days before a big storm, when everyone knows what’s coming and it’s getting a little ridiculous that you’re still waiting for lightning to strike.

Everyone else drinks, they cook and eat and tell stories. Caleb and Essek sit apart but spend the entire time stealing glances across the table when they don’t think the other is looking. Nearly always they catch each other.

Yasha plays on the bone harp, she’s gotten very good and Jester swings Veth around into a dance. Kingsley, three sheets to the wind, grabs Beau and whips her into a reluctant dance and her initial protests eventually bubble into laughter. Caleb sits beside Caduceus and Jester has switched to twirling a flustered Essek across the floor of the livingroom. It often turns to dancing with these people and he loves that they love it so much.

“As I recall you’re an excellent dancer Mr. Caleb, go cut in.”

He shakes his head, “Ah- I couldn’t. Yasha is playing and I don’t think you’re much of a dancer.” He looks over with a quirk of a brow.

“I’m sure Jester won’t mind a break.”

He coughs at that, “I ah-”

Caduceus shakes his head, “No, talking is done, this is getting ridiculous.” He puts a hand square on his back and guides Caleb to stand, “You two will weave circles of metaphor around each other until one of you drops. Go Caleb, follow gravity.”

He seems to understand, seems to accept Cadcueus’ words and as soon as he stands to full height, Essek is watching over Jester’s shoulder. She, thankfully, understands the same way Caduceus does and even sends a wink as she loudly proclaims, “Oh my gosh Essek I’m so tired, I think Caleb needs someone to dance with, go to him.” She extends her arm, releasing him, and his levitation doesn’t allow him to stumble at the abrupt change in momentum.

Essek and Caleb meet and Essek steps to the ground gracefully as Caleb holds his hand out and pulls him in.

Nobody says anything for fear of spooking the delicate peace that settles over both of them as they gently turn, but Yasha slows the music she’s playing a bit and a quiet celebration is shared in the eyes of the rest of the Nein.

Caduceus breathes a sigh of relief and Jester sits herself beside him, bringing an overly sweet juice she’d found on her travels for him to try. She tells him stories into the night, and the wizards never let each other’s hands go.

[writingwithacupoftea]

A family reunited

Summary: Shelby family dinners always bring some drama with them...but none of the brothers expected their sister, Y/N, to join them. After all, she had been missing for 5 years.

Word Count: 3147

A/N: First time writing a fic with a word count over 3000, baby!!! All of the brothers are actually in this but, let’s be honest, Tommy always gets more attention in my writing than anyone else. Let me know what you think of this one, and enjoy!

Part 2

Sometimes you can be better off not knowing the truth. Because the knowing the truth can make your worst nightmares an inescapable reality. A reality that can bring everything crashing down around you.

And that's how the Shelby clan felt about knowing the fate of their sister, Y/N.

Y/N Shelby was 23 when the war began, one year Tommy's junior. Before her brothers left for France, she left them with the promise of having their Mother's favourite sponge cake waiting on the table for them when they got back. She would have to save her money and actually figure out how to make it, but Y/N swore that she'd do it (somehow, even if it did turn out to be an atrocity).

But when the boys stepped through the door of the Shelby residence again in 1918, there was no cake waiting for them. It had been four years, they reasoned, maybe she'd forgotten. Even that didn't seem to sit right with the brothers, however - Y/N always kept her promises, no matter when they were made.  

It was like a dark cloud was looming over the house, but none of them could see what had caused it. Something wasn't right at number 6 Watery Lane.

After embracing Polly and Ada, who had tears flowing down their faces at the mere sight of them, Tommy immediately asked where Y/N was. Their silence had told him everything. Not waiting for an explanation, Tommy stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.  

It was no secret that Y/N and Tommy shared a close bond; they always had each other's backs and always made time for each other. Despite there only being one year between them, Tommy was especially protective over Y/N, as he didn't want anything to happen that might risk her leaving him alone. He couldn't cope without her, for Y/N was both his rock and his light, even though she carried her own darkness with her.

It was dusk when Tommy finally returned, wanting answers. Polly simply presented him with the letter that had been left for herself and Ada on the night that Y/N vanished, for that was all she knew. It said that she had to go away for a while, to not tell Tommy, John or Arthur as she didn't want to worry them, and that she'd be back home as soon as she could. The letter was dated back to 1916. Two years ago. And no one had heard anything from her since.

Tommy refused to look up at his family after reading the letter over and over again, not wanting them to see the tears that glazed his cold blue eyes. He grabbed his bag (effectively hiding the shaking that had taken over his hands) and mumbled something about going to unpack, before retreating straight up to his bedroom, actively avoiding the pitiful looks being sent his way.

The only other time the family saw Tommy that night was when he walked through the parlour and back out of the front door again. They assumed that he was going down to Charlie's yard, where Y/N and Tommy always went together to talk. It was their special place, for they both possessed a deep-rooted love for horses and always found themselves wandering back to their Gypsy roots. When they were both younger, the siblings would be out for days on end riding in the open air. What a distant memory that was now.

According to their uncle, Tommy didn't leave the yard until the sun was fully risen the next morning.

***

Y/N Shelby had been well known to the Birmingham Police from a young age: she had a, quite frankly, remarkable ability to escape the officers no matter how tight of a spot she had managed to get herself into. She was a listener, and had an impressive memory for information that could be of use at some point in the future. Her brain, in combination with her physical abilities to slip away from or outrun trouble, made her an absolute nightmare for the coppers of Small Heath.

She built up such an impressive reputation that, during the war, she had been asked to put her talents to good use. Y/N was recruited as a spy by British Intelligence, and went undercover in Germany to retrieve vital information which ultimately helped the Allies to win the war.  

It was an opportunity that she would never have been able to resist. Her brothers had always treated her as an equal when it came to the family business (although Tommy was sometimes unwilling for her to take part in certain activities); it had annoyed her immensely when they went away to fight and she couldn't do anything to help.  

(She had tried to become a nurse with Ada, but was also kicked out because she couldn't stop laughing when her sister had started laughing).  

But this was her way around it and, as far as she was aware at the time, her brothers would never have to know about her dangerous escapades.

However, not even Y/N Shelby was the perfect criminal or spy. In the March of 1918, she had been on the verge of completing her latest mission when the plan had gone awry. Instead of using her limited time to escape, she had ensured that the information she had gained was communicated properly to her associate. This decision left her with an open police case in Germany, and Y/N was forced to go into hiding.  

As that fact hit her, only one word came to mind: shit.

***

For a year after returning home Tommy searched for Y/N, and turned up nothing. She seemed to have disappeared without a trace. His desperation fuelled his ambition: Tommy wanted to make it big, not just for money but for status and connections. This, he hoped, would provide the opportunities to dig deeper and give him access to speak to the right people, so that he could find out where his younger sister was.  

Because despite the slight shadows that lurked in the back of his mind, he clutched onto his conviction that Y/N was still alive somewhere. He didn't believe in much these days, but he would always believe in his sister.

But in 1920, even Tommy was starting to have his doubts, though he refused to admit them or accept them. His search was beginning to become futile and none of his fucking contacts had been able to turn up everything.  

And so Tommy began to spiral further and further downwards, for Y/N wasn't there to stop it and he didn't have the strength to do it alone.

By the time 1921 had rolled around, the family had pretty much given up all hope that their sister was still alive. However, none of them wanted to be told that harsh truth. What they didn't realise, though, was that it couldn't be further from the truth.

***

Polly Gray wasn't a woman to be easily shocked. She had seen and done too much in her time for that.

Having been settled in her new house (courtesy of Thomas) for a few weeks now, she knew exactly who had her new address – she had only given it to the people that she actually wanted to hear from and knew that they weren't a threat. So, when she didn't immediately recognise the writing on the front of an envelope, worry took over her. However, upon closer inspection of the handwriting, she stopped. Polly knew that writing, but she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She ripped the envelope open, and what was contained in that letter shocked her more than anything that had happened over the last three years:

Polly,

DO NOT SHOW THIS LETTER TO ANYONE OR TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT IT CONTAINS. It's not sensitive or anything, I just want to keep it a surprise. A secret between us girls, just like the old days (I've written to Ada as well).

As you can probably tell, it's Y/N, and I'm alive and well. I'll explain more when I get home - I'm on my way back to Birmingham now.

By the time you get this, I'll be arriving in two days' time. I'll come to the address that I posted this to, I know that's your fancy new home. Then, how about we organise a little family get together? You know I've always been one for the dramatics (although I promise me disappearing off for 5 years wasn't completely intentional).

I can't wait to see you again soon; I've missed you all so much.

All my love,

Y/N Shelby xxx

(P.S. in case you don't believe that I am who I say I am, I've enclosed my Mother's necklace that Tommy gave to me on my 16th birthday, to prove my identity.)

And there the necklace was, sat at the bottom of the envelope. Silent tears began to roll down Polly's face and a smile, as big as the day that Michael returned to her, brightened her features.

Y/N Shelby was coming home. And, boy, were those two going to have some fun telling her brothers...

***

The day that the 30-year-old turned up on Polly's doorstep was a blur of tears, hugs and gin.  

Y/N had been introduced to Michael, who they couldn't really avoid because he lived there, but who was more than happy to keep their secret. Just being with Polly again made her realise that she was finally home.  

Whilst Y/N already knew a lot about what had happened since she left, having kept tabs on the family through her various contacts while she was away, the next day Polly helped to fill in some of the gaps in her knowledge. Polly also told her about how torn up Tommy still was about her absence, and it was enough to nearly send Y/N running straight to him. But then her aunt reasoned that it was probably better for Thomas to pass out in shock in her home, where they could set up lots of cushions as a crash pad, as oppose to on the hard streets of Birmingham.

And so the planning commenced. It was decided that Polly would host a dinner for the whole family, telling everyone that she needed to put her new house to good use, and that they could combine it with a proper welcome for Michael.

As the day drew nearer, Y/N could feel butterflies in her stomach constantly. Her excitement at seeing her whole family again was almost overwhelming. Yet she dreaded having to tell them all the truth about her prolonged disappearance.  

But, honestly, the excitement won over her nerves every time.

***

When Y/N heard her brothers' voices booming through the house, she had never been more grateful that she was running late in getting ready (as usual) and didn't have her makeup on yet. She hadn't been able to stop the tears falling from her blue eyes as the familiar sounds of her family's squabbling travelled up the stairs like music to her ears.

Everything was ready for the night that she had dreamed of for nearly three full years.

Fuck, I'm still in my pyjamas, Y/N realised, and hurried about getting ready.

Having memorised where the creaky steps were earlier that day, Y/N creeped down the stairs silently, clad in the most gorgeous midnight blue dress that she had ever seen. When she looked in the mirror, with her makeup on and hair done, she had realised how much she had grown up since she last saw her family.

But she had no time to think about that now, for it was nearly her moment.

Lingering in the doorway with a glass of champagne, and sending Polly a wink, she felt her heart rate shoot up as her aunt stood up with her own glass.

"Now, before we have dessert, I'd like to make a toast." She paused, looking around the table, her own happiness threatening to overflow. "To family."

"To family!" The brothers and Michael chorused.

Stepping into the light and leaning against the doorframe, completely unnoticed by her siblings, Y/N waited until the noise had died down before gently repeating the toast: "To family."

***

It felt like time had stood still.

Arthur, John and Finn's heads whipped around to see where the voice came from. Tommy had frozen completely, tensing up as he heard his sister's voice for the first time in seven years.

"Y/N/N?" Arthur whispered, not believing his eyes.

"Hello boys," Y/N said with a smile and a teasing glint in her eye. "Did you miss me?"

John stood up slowly and made his way towards her, and Y/N stretched her hand out towards him after putting her glass down. Her little brother tentatively placed his hand in hers, and she squeezed it, reassuring him that she was really there. She saw a couple of tears form in his eyes, though he refused to let them fall. John started to laugh, wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted Y/N up, spinning her in circles and hugging her tightly. Still laughing, he exclaimed "Oh my fucking God!" and placed her down on the ground.

Y/N was next almost knocked flying with a hug from Finn, who buried his head into the crook of her neck as he cried silently. "Look at you, eh! Almost as big as me now, aren't you?" Y/N placed a soft kiss on the top of her youngest brother's head and rubbed his back soothingly. Over Finn's shoulder, she saw Arthur approaching her, seemingly lost for words. His hand cupped her cheek as he ran his thumb over it, before finally saying "Now what sort of time do you call this, young lady?" Y/N collapsed into giggles as Arthur placed a rough kiss to her forehead.

As Finn and Arthur pulled away, Y/N's eyes found the only brother who hadn't yet greeted her and who she was the most anxious to see. Tommy still hadn't moved, his eyes fixed firmly on the table in front of him, but Y/N could tell that they were cold.

"Tom?"

There was silence. After what felt to Y/N like a lifetime, Tommy spoke quietly and slowly. "I don't want to look up and find that you're not really here. That this is all in my head. I don't think I could bear it." His voice cracked slightly as he uttered the last sentence and, for the first time since the war, the family saw their brother's vulnerability as clear as day. It was a stark contrast to the Tommy Shelby that they'd gotten so used to being around.

Y/N cautiously walked over to her beloved elder brother, as if he were a spooked horse, and lowered herself into the seat beside him. She observed his eyes flit over to her as the chair creaked, so quickly that if she had blinked at the wrong moment she would have missed it. She smiled gently at Tommy. "Well I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with me for a while now, Tom, so you'd better start getting used to having me around again."  

As Y/N gently placed her hand on top of his, Tommy's entire body relaxed and at the same time something ignited in him. He felt alive for the first time since the war, and yet so at peace at the same time.

Suddenly, Tommy grabbed her hand in his, pulled Y/N to her feet with him and brought her into a bone-crushing hug. A thousand emotions and lost words were communicated in that one embrace, in that one moment, even. Tommy clung to his sister like she would vanish again if he loosened his grip. It was only when she whispered "I'm here now, Tom" in his ear as he stroked her hair that he relinquished his hold on her.

Tommy pulled away only slightly from Y/N and held her face gently in his hands. "My sweet girl," he breathed, a small smile gracing his lips. Y/N brought her hand up to his and held it there, the sibling simply enjoying the moment of being together again, tear tracks staining both of their faces.

The silence was broken by Arthur, who gruffly announced: "I need another fucking drink." The whole family started to laugh, the reality of the event finally sinking in.

"Yeah, you pour us all another drink, Artie, while I go and get your pudding." Y/N skipped towards the door.

"Y/N/N we don't fucking care about pudding now, you dick, just get back here now," John shouted after her.

"Bloody hell, no need to shout, John boy, I'm only going round the corner." She leaned around the doorframe, making sure to keep one hand on it to reassure Tommy. "Anyway," Y/N continued, "I've got to give you three your coming home present!"

"Our coming home present?" Arthur chortled.

"Yes," Y/N replied, matter-of-factly. "I believed I promised you lot cake" and she entered holding a cake exactly like their Mother used to make.

The three eldest brothers simply smiled fondly at their sister, shaking their heads.

***

An hour later, the family were all crowded into Polly's living room, having consumed the entire dessert. The gramophone was gently playing music in the background, as no one had bothered to take the record off once Arthur and John had finished dancing with their sister (they had claimed that they needed their toes stepping on to bring them back to reality).

The Shelbys and Grays spent some rare time together as a family that evening. No fighting, no arguing, no business: just talking and reminiscing and laughing.  

But now the night was drawing to a close. Finn had fallen asleep, the overwhelming emotions of the evening having finally caught up to him. Arthur and John were drunkenly singing in the corner of the room, yet they occasionally looked over at their sister, wanting to check that she was still there. Tommy simply felt complete again. For once his silence did not come from an attempt to conceal his true emotions, there was no point in trying that again tonight; he was just cherishing the moment, wanting it to last forever.

As for Y/N herself, she couldn't remember ever feeling so content before. She felt like she was on cloud nine, curled up to Tommy's side as they sat on the sofa together, watching the flames dance around in the hearth. His arm was around her shoulders, holding her close to him, and every now and again Y/N felt him place a soft kiss on the top of her head.

She knew that she had a lot of explaining to do. But that could wait until the morning. For now, they were a family reunited, and none of them could wish for anything more.

[ibijau]

Concubine nhs pt10 / on AO3

Lan Qiren was predictably satisfied that next morning to learn that his nephew was finally willing to let him start looking for a young woman who would become empress. He had been pressing for it even before Lan Xichen met Nie Huaisang, and it had since become one of their few causes for arguments. This change of opinion pleased him so well that Lan Xichen felt a fresh new layer of guilt adding up to what was already plaguing him.

“I’m glad that boy can make you behave, where I can’t,” Lan Qiren said after being fed a lie. “I suppose I should have expected it. He’s smart, when he bothers.” To this Lan Xichen replied with a puzzled look, so his uncle explained. “I’ve been sending him books to study, and he sends notes saying what he thought of them. His understanding is usually shallow on most subjects, but he makes interesting observations sometimes. A good teacher might make something of him.”

That was something that Nie Huaisang had mentioned. Or at least, he had said that Lan Qiren was sending him books, blaming those less frivolous volumes he had in the little house on the emperor’s uncle. The way he’d spoken about it seemed to imply that he was not reading them, and he certainly never said anything about writing his own commentary on them.

It upset Lan Xichen to think that his uncle might have known Nie Huaisang better than he did.

He wondered if there was anyone who didn't know Nie Huaisang better than he did.

“If shufu thinks so, then he’s welcome to see if Huaisang might be interested in being taught,” Lan Xichen said, keeping his tone polite and distant. “Once I am married, I fear I might have less time to devote to him. Studying would provide him with something to do.”

And perhaps Nie Mingjue would hate Lan Xichen a little less in the future if his brother was given a chance for education. Perhaps that could still be saved. If Lan Qiren was the one to find him a teacher, it would certainly be a good one. Nothing but the best would do for an imperial concubine, and Lan Qiren had very high standards.

“I’ll see what can be arranged,” Lan Qiren promised. “I might visit him myself if I have time. I’ve missed having a student, and I’m curious about that boy. Even Wangji seems to think well of him, I can't continue ignoring him eternally.”

Lan Xichen smiled with as much joy as he could fake. He would have to warn Nie Huaisang then. His uncle was not prone to gossip, but he might become upset at Lord Nie for having used his son in such a manner, and Lan Xichen did not wish to see that friendship compromised. Not only that, but he did not want to be scolded for having behaved like a fool. He was ashamed enough about everything that had happened without his uncle lecturing him about it.

Having dealt with that matter, Lan Xichen went on with his day, not without some difficulty. He found it hard to focus on councils, or the people to whom he granted audiences. Every problem was important, and deserved his full attention, but his mind was elsewhere, and only through great effort did he manage to do his duty. Only a bad emperor would let private business distract him from his empire, he'd always been told, and yet there he was.

It took just as much effort to get ready to go to the little house that evening. Lan Xichen had prepared some reports he needed to read, hoping to somehow turn the time spent in that house into something productive. That plan crumbled when he opened the door only to be greeted by Nie Huaisang, dressed in his finest clothes, wearing too much jewellery, smiling at him as if nothing had happened.

“You’re home!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, springing from the sofa where he’d been sitting and running toward Lan Xichen who only escaped his concubine’s embrace by holding up a hand and pushing him away.

“What are you doing?” Lan Xichen snarled.

Nie Huaisang stumbled, his smile wavering. He stared at Lan Xichen for a moment, eyes wide and terrified, before quickly lowering his gaze as he bowed deeply.

“His highness said he would continue visiting,” Nie Huaisang mumbled. “This humble one thought his highness would wish… that I should…”

“No!” Lan Xichen exclaimed, so embarrassed it made him nauseous.

He still wanted Nie Huaisang, still loved him. He couldn’t help it, not even when he now knew that the person he loved wasn’t real. But as much as he’d been desperate the day before for any sign that Nie Huaisang might wish to continue his comedy, now that it was truly happening, the thought of it was appalling. It was bad enough that he’d unknowingly taken advantage in the past, but to still kiss Nie Huaisang and take him to bed while fully aware that the other man did not want him back would have been criminal.

He’d made a mistake in taking what was only offered under duress. He would not make another mistake in continuing to take advantage.

“We’re not doing that anymore,” Lan Xichen said, prompting Nie Huaisang to raise his eyes and throw him a confused look. “I’ve told you, I’m only continuing to come here to avoid giving the impression that your family fell out of favour. I’m not… I won’t ask that of you again. You can be safe on that regard at least!”

That reassurance did not have the intended effect, and Nie Huaisang only looked more distressed. Perhaps now that the initial shock of being discovered had passed, he was worried about what his father would say when he heard about that failure, and truly hoped to mend what had broken. Lan Xichen felt angry, but sorry too. Maybe when the war was over, he would find a way to free Nie Huaisang from his current position without sending him back to face his father.

Maybe Lan Qiren had the right idea, about finding him a teacher. If Nie Huaisang could pass the exams and enter the administration, his father might find it harder to punish him.

“In the future, when I come here, just continue on as if you were alone,” Lan Xichen ordered. “I will do the same. You don’t need to dress up like this, either. Just keep on what you’d normally wear.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Lan Xichen opened his mouth, ready to say there was no need to be using his title, only to quickly change his mind. Much as that new proof of the distance between them pained him, it would be worse to be addressed in a familiar manner. This was safer.

“Let’s eat,” Lan Xichen decided. “Then I will work for a while and sleep. You’ll take the bed,” he added after a moment of reflection. “I’ll take the sofa.”

“Your highness should take the bed,” Nie Huaisang protested. “It would be more suitable.”

“The sofa is fine.”

Nie Huaisang hesitated, and bowed even deeper. “His highness is tall, and the sofa is not long enough for him to lay down comfortably. This humble one is shorter, and has fallen asleep there many times without issues.”

It was reasonable, but Lan Xichen disliked the idea of sending Nie Huaisang to sleep on the sofa while keeping the bed to himself. It would feel like taking advantage again.

“You take the bed,” he insisted. “I might not even sleep at all anyway. I have a lot of work.”

Nie Huaisang looked unconvinced. He pouted, as if ready to say something about Lan Xichen’s stubbornness, as he did sometimes. But remembering he didn’t have to pretend to care anymore, he just lowered his eyes and gave up on the matter.

The evening, after that, went on quietly and awkwardly. They ate without a word, Lan Xichen having to fight several times the impulse to put in Nie Huaisang’s bowl some vegetables he knew the other man liked, or to ask him about his day. That heavy silence between them was hard to handle and yet necessary, or so Lan Xichen tried to convince himself. When they were done, the table was freed and cleaned to Lan Xichen could work, while Nie Huaisang grabbed a book and took refuge on the bed. It was the same military treaty as the previous day. Lan Xichen couldn’t help being upset about that for some reason, though he tried to focus on the reports he’d brought.

Tried, and failed.

"Shufu has told me he'd like to come see you," Lan Xichen announced after a while, when he found himself glancing at Nie Huaisang again and their eyes met. "He is interested in talking to you about the books he's made you read. I would appreciate if you kept our current situation from him." 

"Of course, your highness,” Nie Huaisang replied, curling up a little tighter in his corner of the bed.

"He also spoke of finding you a teacher. If that's something you'd like, tell him. We have to start planning for your future after the war." 

"Yes, your highness." 

Lan Xichen frowned, wanting to ask what Nie Huaisang wanted, but refrained from it. Lan Qiren would be told, and he was the one who could organise those things. Having warned Nie Huaisang, the rest was out of Lan Xichen's hands. 

For a good while longer, Lan Xichen continued reading. He took notes as long as he could, until tiredness made that impossible. Then he laid down on the sofa, forced to fold his body in a rather uncomfortable position as he continued reading. 

After those last few days, even a bad position was not enough to keep Lan Xichen awake through the night. Without noticing he fell asleep, and only woke up a little before dawn. His aching back was what woke him, but the first thing he really noticed was that someone had wrapped a heavy blanket around him while he slept. 

There could be no doubt that it was Nie Huaisang’s doing. Aside from the two of them, nobody would have dared to enter the little house at night. Servants had been instructed quite strictly from the start to wait until morning to pick up empty dishes, unless ordered otherwise. But as to why Nie Huaisang would do such a thing, Lan Xichen couldn't be sure. 

It might have been nothing more than duty, and the need for every subject to care for their emperor. Or perhaps it was merely the force of habit, after three years of living together. Or else, if Lan Xichen allowed himself a moment of weakness, he could pretend that Nie Huaisang did care for him, not as an emperor but as a person.

A pleasant illusion to have in the vanishing darkness, but which could not be lingered on as morning light lazily inundated the little house. 

Lan Xichen got up from the sofa, and stretched as best as he could when he wouldn't let go of that blanket. Out of habit, he turned his attention to the bed, where Nie Huaisang was sleeping deeply. Just like Lan Xichen, he must have fallen asleep by accident: his candle had entirely consumed itself, and his book laid open on the mattress, not far from his hand. 

It wasn't an unfamiliar scene. Nie Huaisang would sometimes stay awake later than was reasonable, reading about poetry or devouring a novel. What Lan Xichen would do then, what he did again that morning, was to pick up the discarded book, placing something in it to keep the page. He would then make sure Nie Huaisang was warm enough, which he did that time by giving back the blanket offered to him during the night. And then, because Nie Huaisang always looked so sweet and peaceful in sleep, he would… 

Lan Xichen froze above Nie Huaisang, having stopped just before his lips could touch the other man's. He remained that way a moment, hardly daring to breathe as the realisation of what he had almost done hit him. Then, as if struck by an invisible force, he quickly stumbled back, nearly tripping on the hem of his robe in his haste to put distance between himself and the sleeping young man. 

Habit was a powerful thing, Lan Xichen thought as he hurried to make himself presentable so he could leave that cursed house. 

He would have to be more careful in the future.

[limetameta]

This photo has been stuck in my head for like. Ages. Hope you like this quick rough sketch that tumblr of course destroyed the resolution of. I titled it The Triumph but an alternate title is "Don't Defend Any of Us" lmao. That line has also been stuck in my head. It's a good line. Can you tell which one I've drawn the most

DUDE!!!! This is so cool! I'm in awe <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

It's the gang, all together! Look at these pretty war criminals lmao, they're all posing. Lmao Maes in the background with the wine is KILLING me, you've done so well drawing him in the background. Made my day entirely.

This is a really interesting interpretation of the Triumph where both Riza AND Mustang are with Kimblee and Maes here. Initially it was only Maes in the background with Kimblee and some Central soldiers with him in the forefront. Though, having the entire veteran squad embody this photograph does make it wholly different, more gut-wrenching specifically I suppose. If Edward saw this one, ooofffff. Oooooooofffffff, my boy would be even more fucked up.

I really like how you drew them!! Kimblee's totally happy to be in his spotlight, the man's having such a fun time.

You're a much more patient person than I am, I can't draw people at all. This is magnificent! Thank you so so so much! Also cannot tell at all, they all look so well drawn. Mustang maybe?

R.I.P. for the ishvalan man, he didn't even make the cut photograph.

Definitely hard agree that with all four of them in this photograph the better title would be Don't Defend Any of Us. These are war criminals. These are heinous people. And they're self-aware of it enough not to ever confuse themselves with anyone more morally sound.

The reason why Kimblee gives that talk to Edward about never defending any of them is because a) Edward's a kid trying to go up against adults that say mean but true things against the veterans b) they're adults and don't need a child to defend them c) they are fully aware that they don't deserve to be defended because they did all of those things in ishval of their own free will and that's forever going to be on them.

[balladofmae]

fire emblem smile

I haven’t actually fixated on fire emblem for a while but I can and will overshare about the characters I love :]

Blorbo - favorite character, character I think about the most

Mercedes von Maritz!!! I love her so much, she’s been through so much stuff and still came out kind and loving and honestly that’s such a nice thing

Scrunkly - my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped

GENNY!!!!! She is so littol and she’s fluffy and I would kill multiple men for her even though I am fully aware that she probably wouldn’t need me too bcus she is That Powerful. Also maybe Veronica a little bit. I e had character development and she’s my daughter now actually

Scrimblo bimblo - underrated/underappreciated fave

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester frfr. Aeneas got me on the Lorenz hype train a few months ago and now he’s like, one of my favorites of all time. He’s such an interesting character and people don’t like him because he’s not conventionally attractive or they don’t bother to look at any supports past his first one >:/

Glup shitto - obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week

Uhhhh honestly I don’t have too many of these types of characters for fe, so I guess my first choice would be Rinea. She’s not a background character or anything but she really just does not have a lot of screen time. I would kiss her under the moonlight tho not gonna lie

Poor little meow meow - problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave

I guess Lorenz would fit under here as well since he’s not very popular with the fandom, but I’d rather have an actually problematic fave so I guess Camilla or Berkut? For two totally different reasons though. Berkut is such a well written character who is popular with the fandom, but he IS technically a war criminal. Camilla on the other hand, is not written well whatsoever and done dirty by writers and artists for the game a LOT, so…. Holds her like cup

Horse plinko - character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason

Mmmmmm probably Dimitri? Idk he’s the most angsty and as my blorbo-in-law I tend to go with whatever Jess goes with. Even then tho I don’t really like tormenting him, there aren’t really any fire emblem characters I do like to torment. Mainly just ocs

Eeby deeby - character I would send to superhell

Valter 💕

[eleanoroliphant]

there’s some resistance (appropriate choice of words, isn’t it) to the idea that tuello likes serena. because of course serena is a villain and we strongly want everyone to find her disgusting, especially the good guys working for the good cause. it’s come to the point that i believe someone misreads some scenes in order to make them fit the theory that, indeed, mark may have liked serena for 5 minutes but he’s now disgusted with her, has been since he arrested her in the season 3 finale.

i actually think (and maybe i am the one misreading, discussion) that mark has a big fat crush on serena. it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know who she is, it doesn’t mean that he approves of her morals. he’s now fully aware of what she’s done. but i think he’s stuck with her the way some viewers are, he can’t quit her. she’s complex as hell, smart, driven, obviously attractive and yes, she betrayed their country, however, her treason ended up in a system that hurt her too, though not as much or in the same way as other women.

and mark isn’t a complete idealist. he’s not a 100% white on a scale from white to black, nobody is. he’s someone that works in diplomacy and is involved in politics, of course he’s working for the good cause but he won’t back down if setting a rapist/war criminal/pos free helps that cause. he had no problem playing rescuer and superhero until it was convenient but then freedom to fred he promised nontheless. even june observed that what fred can give is considered more important than what he took from her. 

mark also has some questionable/inappropriate approaches to the job like giving his personal cell phone, email, address (and free time) to the people he’s helping and.... yelling at one of them. 

i very much believe the season finale heavily implied that mark took fred down because that would get him out of the way, and that fred knew that well. where that will go, i don’t know. i just think the attraction is there. 

[kathyprior4200]

Alastor, Autism and an Ace Author

Yesterday, I discovered something mind-blowing about my favorite Hazbin Hotel character. On Twitter, a user by the name of “puppyclown struggle tweets” or “StinkyRatBoy” proposed a theory they had kept for a while. They claim: “Alastor is on the autism spectrum.”

 My first response in my mind? “Nonsense! Alastor is the most extraverted, sociable and manipulative character we’ve seen so far. You can’t just assume he has a neurological disorder out of nowhere! It’s an insult!”

 But then I read their reasons for it…and it slowly clicked into place. As I read them, they began to make sense…it was a reflection of my own personality. Indeed, I am also asexual/aromantic and on the autism spectrum. Whether Vivziepop meant for Alastor to be on the spectrum remains uncertain at the moment.

��What did they say? Here is their first reason:

 “Alastor is often speaking in a very loud voice, something that autistic people do since they have trouble regulating their volume.”

 Reason 2:

“He has little social awareness, telling Charlie to her face that he wants to see people fail and he doesn’t see why that would make her not want to partner with him.”

 Reason 3:

“He also doesn’t see why people constantly run away from him (as shown in the Alastor comic) getting pretty annoyed when people are too sacred to speak with him, despite him knowing of his reputation.”

 Reason 4:

“His discomfort with people touching him probably being a sensory problem, something I myself struggle with, despite not understanding other people’s physical boundaries, constantly dancing with them and pulling them into side hugs without permission.”

 Reason 5:

“Tying back to social problems, he sees Husk as a friend, despite how much Husk wants to make it clear that he doesn’t like being roped into Alastor’s schemes and interests. He reads Husk’s refusal as just him being in a bad mood.”

 Reason 6:

“His hyperfixation with radio, entertainment and old technology being so strong that it causes him to dislike it changing and becoming more modern and foreign to him. Entertainment is his special interest and he doesn’t want someone showing up and making it different.”

 Reason 7:

“Of course, there’s troubles with physical hygiene, something that autistic people are known to have a hard time with for any number of reasons.”

 Reason 8:

“Him constantly smiling could also be his inability to emote the same way neurotypical people around him do, which is why people find it so strange.”

 Reason 9:

“One more thing! Hs little sound effects and song clips he plays are auditory stims. I said what I said.”

 They certainly said it indeed! Despite me having autism as well, myself and the majority of fans didn’t fully pick up on those traits. We knew that the majority of the Hazbin characters were LGBTQ…but so far, there haven’t been any characters with physical or mental disabilities. If what StinkyRatBoy says is true…and if it’s confirmed by Vivziepop herself…it could be revolutionary, both in the show and real life.

 If Alastor has autism, it could add more depth to his backstory and his character. Being a French Creole colored asexual man in the early 1900s wouldn’t be the ideal status to have in the predominantly white straight male society. Many fans speculate that his mother was kind to him and taught him everything he knows about dancing, music, cooking and Voodoo culture. His father is often portrayed by fans as an abusive alcoholic who wanted to shape Alastor into the ideal “macho man,” that was expected at the time. (No “women’s” work, no theater, got to have sex with girls and provide for the family). His abuse toward Alastor and his mother may have laid the groundwork for Alastor’s decent into becoming a serial killer.

 With his expertise with radios, music and entertainment at a young age, it’s no wonder he became such a renowned broadcaster in New Orleans. Along with music being his special interest, it may have been the very thing that kept him sane when he was ruthlessly bullied by his peers, his father, and society in general. It was his escape, a mental state where he felt safe and secure. Entertainment represents the good side of him…the killing part is what got him into Hell. Murdering racist men and criminals may have been both a new special interest and his way of coping with the trauma he faced. In addition, Alastor’s name, means “spirit of vengeance,” thus it was also his way to get revenge on those who wronged him. Alastor’s side hobby of hunting deer and taxidermy may also have been a way to cope.

 Now in Hazbin Hotel, Charlie will have to find a way to redeem Alastor (and like Angel, Husk and Niffty, he can be redeemed, but it will not be easy). Charlie and the others will eventually learn of Alastor’s condition and his asexuality. (Many people on the spectrum also identify as asexual and have trouble with relationships). As demonstrated by the “Day In The Afterlife” comic, Alastor seeks true friendship and belonging, despite his sadistic nature. He has several allies like Mimzy, Rosie, Husk, Niffty and Charlie, yet also misses his mother. Alastor likes seeing others fail as it reminds him of his powerful status…but when he helps the other Hazbins (and betrays them), he may very well learn that he too, is a “lost cause.” More than ever, he wants to see his mother in Heaven…but he’ll have to develop for the better, first. Not to mention villains like Vox and maybe the angels might try to take advantage of his condition. (Does Heaven discriminate against those deemed “abnormal”?)

 Charlie will likely learn of his condition and help him better express his feelings without feeling vulnerable. “You’re never fully dressed without a smile” is a motto he’s lived by in both his lives. His smile is a mask he wears to hide his true feelings of loneliness and leftover trauma. (World War One, the Great Depression, the Spanish Flu, his death etc. is a new level of trauma!) Niffty will likely help out Alastor with his hygiene…even demons need to bathe, eat and sleep. (His yellow teeth, bags under his eyes, thin body and raggedy nails don’t help matters). Husk will teach Alastor about personal space…and hopefully, Alastor will free Husk and Niffty from working under him in the future. And Charlie of course, will help him get in touch with his feelings, creating a relationship of friendship, mentoring, and hints of romance.  

 Embracing change and expressing feelings is very hard for those on the spectrum…but with therapy, effort and practice, it can be achieved by many. It will take a long time for Alastor to redeem himself, let alone allow himself to cry or fall in love. But the journey, rather than the Heaven destination, is what matters most. After overcoming his evil nature, Alastor will learn to embrace his feelings and condition…even if it means adapting to a moderate amount of change. (There are other ways to seek out justice and entertainment.) I bet his mother will be very proud of him once Alastor is able to make friends and truly be happy.

 Proper representation in media, matters, and Vivziepop has already gone above and beyond. A majority of her characters are LGBTQ or are in LGBTQ relationships. Representing someone with a disability will make the show all the more intriguing, and the characters more relatable. Her show deals with a variety of issues that young adults face in real life: sex, drugs, slavery, rebellion etc. With Alastor supposedly being both LGBTQ + and having a neurological disorder, it is a portrayal not often seen in many cartoons.

 Hopefully in a few years, we’ll get to see more of our deerly beloved radio host in the first season of Hazbin Hotel; we wish him all the best on his journey of redemption and friendship formations!