#I am desperate ok I know
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MY BOY FUCK YEAH
I know you can’t even see his face but this is the closest official art we are going to get for Quan Yizhen… for now
This is from the TGCF Season 2 audio drama preview to those who were curious
#THE CURLY HAIR#OMG PLEASE LET ME SEE HIS FACE#I AM STARVING OVER ANY YIN YU AND QUAN YIZHEN CONTENT#I NEED TO SEE HIS FACE#wait… tgcf audio drama s2 is going to cover the battle of the lanterns#WHICH MEANS QUAN YIZHEN IS GOING TO HAVE LINES#OMG I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE#PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU I NEED QUANYIN CONTENT#going insane over this and you can’t even see his fucking face#I am desperate ok I know#YIZHEN MY BOY I LOVE YOU#I’m going insane#yeyarants#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mxtx tgcf#mo xiang tong xiu#tgcf audio drama#quan yizhen#qi ying#tgcf quan yizhen#just… him#I NEED SOME OFFICIAL ART OF HIM OK??#oh shit so I guess s3 is going to cover the QuanYin arc huh…#I’m going to cry when they get there#fuck#anyway appreciate this art of my boy ok
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Another Clara portrait bc I'm kind of obsessed w my new design for her :) everybody better watch out, she's busting out the Irritated Face
#victoriocity#victoriocity podcast#clara entwhistle#podcasts#her eyebrow IS raised btw. its just hard to see w the hair#it's when she uses the face of Slight Irritation that you know she's pissed. at least to me#ok yes i did use a brush on the curls and more or less trace over it. still took me forever to do#and i AM learning how to draw different hair textures and i WILL do it but for now. i will take the crutch bc i desperately need it#if anyone knows a good shorthand for those ringlet curls let me know. online tutorials that i found were not very helpful#anyways. i love her so much#art#my art#weaverofink
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short comic about touch telepathy and changes
#doctor who#tenth doctor#tentoo#tencest#they are both getting different things from this#but neither will acknowledge it#because they want to pretend they’re doing it for some other reason#they are both desperate so it’s close enough#comically loud gulp.#art tag#i fixed it i dont. know why i wrote pulmonary bypass#ok i do it is because i am still awake at 8 30 am#doctorcest
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truly and literally obsessed with how advtime civilizations see their ancient founders as glowing angels
#the human founders one reallllllly gets me. like the wizards might actually have been glowing figures of light#but i know the humans were just scared refugees like everyone else. fleeing from the mutants and destruction#wizard city didnt have to go so hard on that scene of them ascending out of their bodies. its like. one second long.#ahgmeemgheme. goes crazy insane.#adventure time#not art#i feel like theres another similar instance but these are the only glowing angels i know of... the s-mos utter reverence for bmo is close#also. those.were those the founders or the usurpers. of wizard city. i get confused. how was that city built. or made. or what.#how did all that work. it makes no sense to me. she tells pep in a fit of desperation before trying to make him die to host her god.#give me more information you horrible woman.#i dont blame her. shes angry she came downstairs and found out her friends didnt clean up the dead guy they were supposed to clean up#ok stops myself from talking infinitely about nothing. i am supposed to only talk about what is relevant.#'angels' is a loose term i can apply to anyone who looks cool in adventure time including those evil lookin triangle mfers
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Newt moms makes me soft because... Marcy being adopted by two adults who love her and want her safe and happy after being so horribly abused by her previous parental figure(s)... literally everything I wanted at her age 😭 the wish fulfillment is REAL
#bonus points of Olivia has mommy issues#like ''hey. hey. i know how guilty you feel. i know how desperately you want to forgive them#i know how much you hate yourself for not being able to. it's ok''#my posts#am i projecting too much#who cares. i dont#(says while asking people if im projecting too much)
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i can't come up with headcanons for siffrin's parents bc it would make me too sad- shit i just realized i basically have to for my settling down fic. screaming, crying, pounding on the ground, rain pouring down my face, etc
#if i'm gonna have them instinctually remembering some bits of their childhood i do gotta come up w the childhood#at least a little bit#😭#tbh i do just imagine that the island people are gone entirely rather than a simple barrier of forgetting around it#even though that's theoretically more tragic#it just makes me less sad personally#ijust cant imagine sif's family missing/forgetting them it's too sad :(#for them to all still be THERE just incidentally divided#all desperately missing each other not in so many words but in the heavy weight of absence#or even worse not missing each other#I CANT DO IT i'm too parentpilled 😭😭#I AM NOT LOOKING!!!#i can deal with the hole ok i don't want to know what used to fill it#silverstarschat#isat spoilers#isat#WHOOPS.. forgot those at first;#thoughts#thoughts about siffrin
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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since we all appear to be talking about izzy 'calling the police' on stede id like to offer my silly little two cents:
its not like the navy wasn't actively looking for him anyway??????
at most, izzys actions sped up badminton catching up with stede, but its made very clear that badminton wanted Stede dead well before this, and was willing to use whatever he could to find him- whos to say jackie wouldnt have cut a deal on her own? that any other pirate thats seen them being unsubtle in a port wouldn't take the opportunity to make a quick buck over a guy who is Nobody and holds no influence that could lead to any consequences for them?
in reality izzy is probably the only person who would receive negative repercussions to selling out stede, given his personal connection with ed- any other pirate would probably have gotten away unscathed, anonymous. they likely wouldnt have even been present like izzy was. izzy had personal stakes, anyone else would have taken the money and ran
the way i see it, with or without izzy the events of episode 10 probably would have happened in some degree, izzy just expedited the timeline
#like ok. i dont exactly support izzys actions but i honestly dont see it as that big of a deal??? to our characters i mean#idk i just. its a dick move!! but i struggle to see it as any more than that#its the actions of a desperate man who made a stupid decision to get his.... ed. out of what he saw as a bad situation#whether it is or not i cant say! but you cant deny ed drastically changed in the time he was on the revenge#in a way that could be concerning from the outside#(i saw a good post kinda comparing it to your friend ending up in a cult and. yeah. excellent description from an outside perspective)#idk theres a lot of. undertones in the way people say 'calling the police' and also they always say ed too and its like. no! izzy tried to#get ed out of there! he set the navy on everyone BUT ed. and its not like the navy really cared about the crew. only stede#i am not the person to talk about why 'calling the cops' is a bad take but the posts are out there. ive seen them.#izzy did what hundreds of pirates did to save their own hide- including hornigold himself (but honestly that was worse because he actively#turned hunter. not just a guy with a tip)#also side historic note that uhh. the navy was casually in Nassau. what exactly was the situation there??? was shit occurring. w#we know it did in history#idk#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#spanish jackie 🤝 izzy: girlbosses for selling stede out to the British/Spanish for their own gain#idk i think thats the one thing he did 'wrong' but ita still very sympathetic to me#its not like izzy dibbed in a guy nobody cared about#'hey hey ill sell you information about this pirate please let me sell you information' ' i mean i guess we are supposed to be doing that'#badminton had an active vendetta against stede and kinda seemed like. he would stop at nothing to get him???#given. the whole 'id rather let blackbeard go and kill Stede than take a huge pirate into custody' thing
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moots are you aware of how much i like you? how much do you think i like you? like do you understand how genuinely wonderful i think you all are. i have a list of peoples names and pronouns so i have them on hand at all times. i genuinely. do any of you have any clue of how much i like you. i dont think you do
btw. 99.999999% of the times its Not no
#raspy rambles#i am. im havinng a crisis#im struggling rn#and genuienly#i know i dont reach out to anypne almost ever#mostly bcs im scared of being annoying or too talkative or weird about it#but i want to talk. i want so desperately ro be included in things. im just not talkative enough for people to think of me for that yk? l#ok. mini name drop but not really timw#🪻💫❄️🥀 especially. man i love you guys and i dont think you jnow it#and i dontt hink thats your fault in the slightest. ans that hurts me a little tbh#bcs youll never know how strongly i care for you. entirely because i cant get my shit together and man up and talk to you off anon#i fucking. i sent ❄️ an anon like. twnety minuyes ago being Mildly Weird About It#and i now feel like my world is crashing down around me#well. i didnt mean for the tags to look like that#razz rants#ig
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for a webbed site that claims to love rehabilitative justice tumblr sure has a love of vengeance huh. somehow we’ve created a digital atmosphere where literal murder is less bad than (checks notes) not emerging from the womb with a perfectly calibrated moral compass and the Correct Political Opinions
I’ve seen people on here say that, not only can people Not Change, but that people who try to change are a) lying b) manipulative and c) undeserving of the chance to change. besties…becoming a better person isn’t about whether or not you deserve to become a better person, it’s not even about becoming 100% perfect, it’s about doing damage control after you realize you fucked up. like yeah people you’ve hurt aren’t obligated to like you/forgive you/interact with you, but tumblrites seem to think that anyone who’s ever made a serious mistake should be exiled from society and/or guillotined. we’ve gone from reasonable and correct takes about how people change (ex. “it’s not my responsibility to teach you”— yes! of course it shouldn’t be up to underprivileged random people on the internet to educate the uninformed!) to utterly deranged ones (ex. “nobody with privilege will ever realize that they’re doing harm and the ones who claim to be in the process of learning are just virtue signaling and should be punished for it”— a take I’ve seen applied to men learning about feminism, cishets becoming allies, white people learning about antiracism, relatives of shooters who go on to advocate for gun control, etc)
you do realize that people can genuinely change for the better, right? I’ve seen my parents un-transphobia themselves firsthand, going from thinking that my sibling came out “for attention” to wholeheartedly believing in trans rights. my grandma’s father was every kind of asshole imaginable and she grew up indoctrinated, but as an adult she broke away from him and has spent the rest of her life working on unlearning stuff. my cousin grew up in the rural south and parroted his rural southern dad’s opinions until he was thirteen and started actually thinking for himself, at which point he did a total 180 and is now studying history with a focus on the evolution of the rights of the underprivileged
so when I see people on here say that people shouldn’t change because they don’t deserve to change it rubs me the wrong way. cause at that point it sounds like you’d rather have that person stay harmful so you can stay mad at them, instead of letting them change and gaining yourself an ally. again, you don’t need to interact with them, but. at this point it kind of feels like you care more about hating The Oppressors than about protecting The Oppressed.
#also for the love of god this is about politics not fandom.#TO BE CLEAR I do also believe in rehabilitative justice for literal murder whenever possible as well.#i think that the vast majority of humans would be ok people if not for circumstances#(ex indoctrination trauma desperation externalized-self-hatred ignorance etc)#and that rehabilitation/change isn’t about whether or not you ‘deserve it’ but about whether or not you’re making an effort#because either we punish people for ever and ever Or we gain allies. and one option is more tangibly beneficial than the other#standard disclaimer: I am white and therefore probably verbalizing some of this in a wrong or questionable way and/or have holes in my logi#because I have blind spots due to privilege. I know. Nobody’s obligated to tell me where they are or how to fix them#but I don’t hold it against you if you read this and think ‘yikes. (x) sentiment is kind of questionable’ and inform me if you so choose#so long as you don’t literally want me exiled and/or dead it’s chill. to be clear. calling people out/pointing out bias is one thing#calling for their head on a platter is another
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guys i decided to succumb to the demons. getting back on the instagram grind to get popular so i can make friends. in good news this means i will finally make drawings to post again. in bad news this means i will have to use instagram
#TUMBLR WILL ALWAYS STAY MAI HOME THO OKAY GUYS#THIS IS MY TRUE PERSONAL BLOG#update for all you who dont know. cowboy robooty empire originally was instagram blog i ran because i desperately needed friends#and im incredibly socially inept so the only way i can make friends is if im popular so then people will ignore how bad of a texter i am#im just shy af for literally 18 months and then i suddenly am comfortable and can be normal ok#but yeah i quit bc i started drawing danganronpa and hated all my fans and realized i had enough friends#but now i want to go back hunting once again. viva la swag!
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#I am struggling so hard to pinpoint where the lines are in discussions of situations like the franke and hildebrandt behaviors#because like ok#people keep being so outraged and angry and baffled that they viewed the kids as#deliberately willful and disobedient#and then transitioned into believing them to be infected with evil and or influenced or possessed by demons or under satanic influence#and that’s where everyone is like HOW COULD THEY THINK THIS HOW COULD THEY TELL THEM THAT HOW COULD THEY ETC ETC#and that’s where everyone loses me#like yeah. of course it’s wrong. of course it’s damaging and shitty. but like. what in the world is everyone so shocked and upset by#about that concept (not the physical abuse it caused obviously)#how are you shocked. how are you shocked? it’s just the logical conclusion of believing children have disobedient evil wills#like if you assume evil you’re only going to escalate from there. OBVIOUSLY#I don’t understand how it’s different#where do things cross these lines? no one explains that to me#normal life as usual while tons of kids including me spend years or decades believing we’re evil and under stubborn satanic influence#but in one of the rare situations where it rises to public awareness suddenly everyone is shitting bricks over it#I want those kids drowned in love forever and I wish it never happened to them and their situation#was definitely so so so extreme and severe and I am so glad R was so brave and desperate and got them out#but like. how is everyone so shocked#this is standard. this is common. there’s a huge subculture of people doing and believing this shit#like why is it different just because this case is so visible#so like how is it so hard for people to grasp that this is a widespread issue#I don’t understand#of COURSE it’s wrong to do to someone but like#so many parents and adults do so many of the things these two did just less#fewer hours. less intensely. not in a desert. not with handcuffs and shit. etc.#where’s the line legally? where’s the line culturally?#like how am I supposed to grasp that it’s not a problem until it’s at some level that#I know it’s all Bad but I mean in terms of when the populace starts to mass-care
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I'm so disappointed I won't be able to immediately tune in on the twst update like usual 😭 I'm pretty sure this is the first time I won't be watching it right after it's up, and not only that, but my early morning obligation preventing me from enjoying the update is going to last FIVE hours 😭😭😭
#I'm going to get spoiled so hard tomorrow :')#hopefully nothing game changing comes with the update#I'm pretty sure there won't be anything crazy until the 2nd half#but there could be some sneak peak at the end of this update that will be further expanded next time and I am in DANGER#of getting majorly spoiled on whatever it is. maybe. if they do something like that lol#hopefully you know what I mean I think I am rambling nonsense but like. you know. how they showed gen vanrouges sprite#at the end of that one update and then next time we had the full war experience#it still sucked a little that I got spoiled on gen vanrouges sprite before getting to the end even if that wasn't the Full War Experience ;#but oh well#aghhhhh okay goodbye#actually pause my goodbye I have more words to ramble#I AM really excited for the savanaclaw update I think that's a nice thing about doing these deep psych dives of each dorm#it is fucking so bad with the pacing BUT if you just ignore the pacing issue then it's really nice how every character gets a chance#to be expanded on a LOT right now#like rook's dream?? absolute banger of a dream. It's so sweet that his deepest desire at heart is just to be a fanboy#and for his oshis to get along. Even if it means not being with Vil :')#he wants everyone to be at their most beautiful (healthy and loving and open-minded in their own unique way)#even if that means he himself ends up excluded from the picture!!!!#and it's so nice that we get that Rook Pack Expansion with these dreams#and I liked Jade's dream even if it was just for extremely silly reasons. I like that we now know his ass is not paying attention#to his loved ones LOL he is the number one floyd and azul mischaracterizer on ao3 I love that we know this now#Jamil and Kalim getting into a scrap fight was so desperately needed for their character arcs and I am so happy we got it#and with this in mind. I think no other dorm needs more character expansions and character arc movement for me to enjoy them more#than the savanaclaw boys. I'm just nooottt that into them as is 😔#but I WANT to like them and I am really hoping this update throws me something awesome that changes my view of them forever#and isn't just another 2 epel dreams with a vil dream at the end#(not that I didn't enjoy vil or epel's dreams and elements from them they just didn't add as much to their characters as I wanted ;;)#ok goodbye for real now bye
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y'all who actually have partners,, what is a text ice breaker to start conversation? im really bad at it 😭
it feels important to note that when we do talk, the conversation flows great we have a nice rapport and complimentary senses of humors it's just starting the conversation that is the problem i think we are both just painfully shy 😔 (and maybe traumatized .)
#all my friends have offered is 'send a meme' which just gets me a heart react which is nice and all but i wanna SPEAK TO THEM.#and ive also done ~little random updates of my day~ which also works but on my days off i dont DO anything so i cant be like .#hey i rotted in bed all day what did you do#i feel like he's interested but shy ?? i guess ?? or maybe unsure if i feel the same way so he doesnt rly initiate#he did the other day just send me a photo of him working as a little life update which i took as a good sign :) and it sparked a short conv#i just dont know what to talk about or rather i wanna talk about literally everything but i dont wanna be annoyingggg#i dont know whats annoying and what isnt i guess is the main issue#he just got back from a 2 week work trip thing like working nonstop and normally we'd both be free tuesdays (tmrw) but since he JUST got#back today i figured it would be rude and/or seem desperate or clingy of me to ask if he wanted to hang this week#am i just crazy ?? oftentimes yes#it's also 10pm on a monday so i couldnt ask now anyway BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO JUST TALK#BUT I DONT WANNA BE ANNOYING all ive ever done in the past is annoy ppl or come off too 'weird' by just trying to get to know them#AND I DONT WANNA MESS UP THIS TIME CAUSE I THINK I DO GENUINELY LIKE THIS GUY IVE JUST NEVER BEEN IN THIS POSITIONNNNN#ITS NEVER FELT REAL#OK BYE
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Ok but I need a post canon, Arthur returns, slow burn, Merthur, kind of fic where we can acompany our beloved king through the different stages of grief he will go through when Merlin tells him he's been dead for over 1500 years so he lost his kingdom, knights, friends and wife. A fic where we can see Merlin introducing Arthur to the 21st century and its technology that he insists is just magic, Mer-lin, I know it, I'm no fool. I know magic when I see it. A fic where we can see Arthur still struggling to fully trust on Merlin again because yes, he forgave him and he doesn't really care about the magic (except he does because Merlin's eyes look so beautiful when they are gold and where did that come from, Arthur Pendragon? Merlin, beautiful? Ha! The clotpole must've been right when he told you you shouldn't drink a third cup of that dark, strong, addictive beverage) but he still can't get over all the years of constant lies and deceiving, and Merlin feels guilty af so he tries to win his trust once again day by day and keep the promise he made to himself that day he finally confessed his magic to Arthur to not lie to him ever again. A fic full of fluffy moments between merthur where we can see them fall for each other harder slowly but surely until one day, after 3 or 4 months since Arthur came back, he finally kisses Merlin. And then they kiss some more. And more. And they are so happy grinning like idiots between kisses because finally they are on the same page. And everything is perfect. And Arthur suddenly loses his shirt somehow and things are getting heated although everything is still so soft and sweet and tentative. And then the doorbell rings. They ignore it at first, Arthur's orders, but the person behind the door is insistent so they have to stop so Merlin can go and see who it is. And when he finally opens the door, his jaw almost hit the floor because the person in front of him is no other than the fucking Queen of Camelot, his first and beloved friend, Guinevere Pendragon, the long ago dead widow of Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot, whom he's been making out with seconds ago. And then everything goes downhill coz Gwen sees her husband and Arthur is so shocked to see her again and then they are hugging and smiling and kissing and glowing with happiness and then there's Merlin, with tears in his eyes as he sees them reunite again. As he sees Arthur reunited with his true love. And when the king finally takes a moment to process everything that is happening while having Guinevere laughing crying in his arms, his eyes find Merlin, his Merlin, the one he had in his arms minutes ago and everything comes crashing. Reality hits him so hard he can't even breathe for a second. Because he was happy with Merlin and even though he hadn't yet admitted it out loud, he knew, deep in his soul, that he was in love with him, but then Guinevere is back! His beautiful, amazing, sweet and wonderful queen who he loves with all his heart is back from the death and how is that even possible???
Phew! A fic full of drama and angst and hurt/comfort and tough decisions that Arthur will have to make eventually because he loves them both, but he only can have one and that is breaking him apart because he is a righteous man at heart and he knows that as a married man, his choice should be clear as water, but his soul is screaming at him because it wants something else, someone else, and he doesn't know what to do as he knows whatever he decides, one of the two people he loves the most in his life will end up brokenhearted. But life is unfair and cruel to everyone. Even to legendary kings.
So.
Can someone please write it?
For me???
Pretty please???
#merthur#fic prompt#i've been having this idea in my head for ages now but haven't find anything remitely similar#i could write it but it wouldn't turn out as great as it is in my head#i am desperate#i need someone to write this please#i love drama#i love angst#i love merthur#i love to respect the canon of the show but give it a little twist in a future escenario#i love the idea of arthur choosing gwen back in his camelot days but choosing merlin in the modern world#arthur loves gwen with all his heart but he also loves merlin with all his soul#true loves doesn't mean forever lovers#i also live for that moment in the fic where arthur confesses his feelings for merlin to gwen#she will be hurt but so understanding too#ok enough of the tags#this is getting out of hand#but this is how you know i've been thinking about it deeply and for way too long#please someone have mercy on this poor little untalented soul that can't write for the life of her
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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