#I am definitely existing rn

[milkinthemicrowave]

Yo you ever consider getting vinyl pressed? I really need doctor doctor on my turntable.

Wh?!!!.!? my voice on VINYL?? At least let me drop some official songs that aren’t just me on my piano/ukulele recorded by my phone 😭🤚 rn I just have the one doctor song and no good at being you that Legrand made 90% of

[tojiscrack]

to my all little liars!! (edit: wtf happened to my english? 😭)

we’re at 24.6k words rn 😟 if you plan on reading it next week, i recommend you read it on the weekends when there’s no school or work for you waiting in the morning 😀

calling in the troops rn ‘cause there’s still one final scene i have to write and it’s gonna be LONG (this isn’t including the bonus scene btw) but it’s extremely important for the story to continue, and without it, the rest of the story literally cannot go on 😭

we’re locking in guys. it’s 100% gonna border 30k words for sureee. sm has happened in that ONE chapter and i literally cannot wait to release it for all of you, you have no ideaaa

gonna go to bed and then wake up, study, break, write for the fic, repeat. had to randomly drop an update here cuz i’ve been edging you guys for so long i’m sorryyy, but it really is nearly here <333

edit: fck it guys i’m writing it rn (the immediate comments got me motivated)

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[twoa-plus]

people will see a character who has flaws and does bad things sometimes and call them morally gray

[celerydays]

for christmas i would like the gift of better coping mechanisms when i get into a mid-project art frenzy

can i not just be CHILL 😵‍💫 the crazy hyperfixative need to see something through to the end once i get into the "head empty, no thoughts, only finishing this latest art piece/project" always makes me suddenly forget how to function normally lmao

this 4AM bedtime / 7AM wake up / barely eating / staring for hours at my iPad screen / bordering on making my carpal tunnel flare up from how long i sit drawing is probably why I got sick so many times during October ajsklflaghgld 😀

anyways uhhh expect something sometime in the next couple of days i guess 😙

[m0thlegs]

y’all learned the term “media literacy” and have not shut the fuck up since

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[cabeswaterdrowned]

agents of shield s7 really was a shockingly good conclusion to something I like… like on it’s own it’s a good season but I don’t really realize how highly I think of it overall (it’s not agents of shield s4 who’s praises I’ll sing any day of the week) until I think about how many concluding seasons or books of shows or series I love could have been better if they were more like it in a variety of ways…

[radioconstructed]

// Al's the type of person to be like "what's a girl gotta do to get waterboarded around here?" (sexual) and then see Valentino and go "not YOU."

[tinylittlebab]

2/10/23

goal: 1000 / total: 821 / extra burned: 100 / net: 720 / weight: 94.5

disappointed in this. wouldve been less but i kinda blanked while eating goldfish and forgot to count them out bc i was too busy sorting them. oops. well its not that bad. i didnt end up getting to do my usual stuff so the day was very hard. i had planned to wait to eat till later or not at all but around 8pm i started feeling very ill and shakey so i decided to eat. unfortunate but whatever.

mad at myself for being hungry this morning since i had over 800 yesterday. my body is so pathetic. i fed it so much yesterday but even still.

[pinkspiraling]

oh my god i feel like shit

[exopelagic]

auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr

[rachymarie]

I was innocently searching the WorldWideWeb for "how to keep rambling to a minimum as a schizospec" "how to minimize rambling as a schizospec" (let's face it, no matter how efficient or inefficient of a googler i am, it is just hard to find actually helpful results on schizospec things, period. Beyond the usual outdated info from Healthline, WebMd, and even the NHS. Somehow, dare I say it, AI overview has actually been more helpful in that regard??), and came across this comment.

feel kinda offended as someone who is not actively in psychosis but is prone to ramble. I think even my thoughts back when I was going into my first and only psychosis had value and are still reflect issues relevant in my life that meds etc etc couldn't solve.

So (and forgive me for using this analogy for the thousandth time lol) it was like simply slapping a bandaid on a deep festering wound and hoping it would magically resolve itself, despite needing surgery to address the root cause. The root cause being the deep social issues in society that often lead us to psychosis in the first place*, such as: ever-widening rich-poor gap, poverty, mental health stigma, ambulance at the bottom of the cliff healthcare models, housing instability, power imbalance, lack or erosion of employee rights, patriarchy, etc etc (a whole host of issues really)

Tho I admit they may have some grain of truth in that if the person is in deep psychosis in my experience some of what I said probably didn't make a lot of sense to others. At least it made sense to me i guess, and i have explained a lot of the reasoning behind my delusions, thoughts, and spoken words since "recovering".

But like there were a few times that I said things that reflected things going on around me accurately that made mum laugh because I was just saying something that was actually happening. Example: apparently one nurse inappropriately asked me this leading question of: "are you hearing voices?" And I said "yes". When pressed I said "mum's voice" bc she was right there in the room and had been actually talking lol. She made a complaint abt that actually.

Another was the "operations building" - i had a delusion abt there being an operations building outside over yonder where they took ppl from mental health ward to perform evil surgeries on us. Well upon hearing my limited words expressing about that, mum was thinking "this girl has got so many screws loose I don't even know where to begin"- until she looked outside to see, lo and behold: a massive building opposite the hospital labelled "Operations Building".

Whomever smart cookie thought of the idea to place that one right outside the psych ward windows beats me lol.

So we're not actually completely "out of touch" with reality and what is going on!! In fact I provided an insight into the poor planning of building placement lol. Also I was very wary of the tank we passed on one of our group walks up a hill, bc brain decided it was the tank that Elisa Lam died in (despite this being in NZ lol) so that was kinda my brain warning me not to climb up there I guess

*And rarely actually ever get solved

[sunny-daysss]

KADHASDHSJH I'VE GOT SO MUCH HATCHETFIELD BRAINROT RNNNN

[somefisher]

Im gonna throw up im sick of feeling awful all the time