#I am aware that I already made this joke but I deserve two

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

when Aya protection squad has an unexpected turn

[ID: An edited “friendship ended with Mudasir” meme. Aya and Fyodor clasp hands. Aya is screaming and Fyodor is smiling towards the camera. The text across the top and middle of the image reads: “Protectorship ended with Bura-Chan? Now Fedya is my protector?” Two images of Bram the bottom left and right have been marked with green question marks. End ID]

[generalsmemories]

The general's hair

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: "If requests are open, can I request Reader tugging Jing Yuan's hair to keep him from dozing or just wanted him to pay attention? You can choose the "severity" of the tug =DD" requested by anonymous

✧ content: established relationship, fluff, suggestive scenes (not nsfw, but you can tell it's hinting at it lmfao), humor, mentions of other characters

✧ a/n: dear lord we almost hit 500 jing yuan lovers. as he deserves, truly. thank you all for liking my two works so far!! here's another one while i still work on the lenghty angst fic of mine hehe. p.s please don't question my titles, i am very much terrible at them-

One of Jing Yuan's striking features is his voluminous hair that adorns his head like a lion's mane. Tied into a high half ponytail while the rest of his locks flow freely down to his shoulders. It's eye catching for sure, with a red ribbon securing the ponytail in place, it's hard to not turn one's head when he takes a walk outside of the divine seat to escape his duties. 

You're well aware of how tempting his hair is to touch everyone. It's the one thing you always reach for whenever you're bored after all.

The first thing you always do whenever he's fresh out of a shower is brush it out while running your fingers through it, or make sure every drop of soap reaches every strand when you take a bath together. A pastime activity Jing Yuan adores doing with you, almost sounding like he's purring in delight whenever you take some extra time to massage his scalp while you wash his hair.

It's also the first thing you would always grab onto to ground yourself when Jing Yuan wants to show his love for you more intimately and passionately. Your primary instinct to pull his strands while trying to get him so much closer to you, a breathless plea for him leaving your lips every now and then. Your husband takes great pleasure from this, merely chuckling while leaning down to press his lips to your ears. Gently telling you to breathe while pressing himself closer to your own sweaty body. During these moments his hair cascades down the side of his face, making him seem a lot more ethereal than usual. And while you can hardly breathe from the sensory overload you always somehow manage to slide your fingers from his lips to thread through his hair with a wry smile, whispering how beautiful he is.

His hair has unfortunately for him recently become the thing you have pulled whenever you notice him start to doze around whether that be in meetings or in general. It was initially something you had done out of desperation since no matter how many times you told him to listen, your husband would already nod off a few minutes after promising you that he wouldn't. Whenever you had complained he has joked that your voice was too soothing to listen to regarding reports that he could fall asleep to it.

So you tried to let one of the cloud knights or Qingzu deliver the reports to thwart that, but then he would downright not pay any attention at all. Which would make some meetings run longer than normal.

God forbid if Fu Xuan even tried to attempt to deliver a report, lest she wanted to get poked fun at or have more people fall asleep other than the general.

So while you were trying yet again to give a report for the general, you were suddenly struck with the memory of one of the many nights you had spent together. The nights where the general would look so much more awake whenever you pulled at his hair from desperation.

… Hey if it worked there, it should have some sort of effect now too, right?

So without looking too suspicious, you went behind the seat. When you passed Jing Yuan's laid back form, your available hand that was not holding the papers reached out to the same high ponytail you had just tied a few hours before and pulled with enough strength that made his head jerk away from his resting hand.

A surprised moan suddenly rang out throughout the Divine Foresight.

And you thanked the Aeons that the only ones present at that moment were the same guards stationed at the very entrance and Qingzu, who only gave you a deadpanned look.

But when Jing Yuan turned to look at you, more awake than he had ever been in any morning and eyes filled with confusion, you were sure you had hit the jackpot to make every meeting go faster. 

Good news for you and everyone else, not so good news for Jing Yuan though.

“The second matter of the day is the replacement of the newly appointed Cloud Knights who will be transferred to the Luofu from another fleet…”

“Ouch- Dear, pull my hair any harsher than that and I’m afraid you won’t have any strands to brush out in the near future,” Jing Yuan whines when your hand lets go of his high ponytail when he has successfully sobered up from his nth impromptu nap of the day.

You merely glance over at him with a raised eyebrow before walking away, “General, please be aware that you have a meeting with Lady Fu Xuan in a couple of minutes and these are just the briefings of what she will tell you personally,” you respond back, Jing Yuan letting out a huff as he leans back into his seat, rubbing the spot you had just pulled a few minutes ago with knitted eyebrows.

“... Let alone something to grab later tonight-”

“Jing Yuan.”

[chuuyasheaven]

5,10,12 with chuuya and dazai (separately) pls.. as in Oral sex (fem receiving)!!!

Prompt/Number; 5: “I know you can take it, baby/angel.”/ 10: “You taste so sweet, darling.”/ 12: “Let me hear your sweet moans, baby/princess.”

Summary; Soukoku pleasing the virgin!fem!Reader (separately)! <3

Warnings; Oral (fem! receiving), Petnames, Teasing (in Dazai’s Part), Virgin!Reader, Praise kink, Chuuya being pussydrunk, fingering maybe, Suicidal jokes (Dazai, what do you expect??), Chuuya starlight up worshipping us fr, etc.

Notes (from me); Normally, i don’t do this but since i don’t have school for a week, i might aswell let that slide lol. Enjoy! 🤭

It’s your first time doing this, letting Dazai have access to your pussy.

Of course, you trust him very much, but you still wanna take things slow, meaning he’ll let you know how it is getting pleased by his tongue.

Still nervous, Dazai just tries to assure you that you’ll get sent straight to heaven when he’ll start.

With his hand gripping your thighs, that were placed on his shoulders, he makes one last suicidal joke.

“I wouldn’t mind dying like this, suffocating between your thighs would be the best way to enter hell, Bella, y’know?”, you were impatient as Dazai’s breath kept brushing against your wet cunt, waiting for him to go down on it.

“Whatever, can we s-start already..?”, Dazai chuckled as he decided this was the right time to tease.

“Growing impatient, i see. Well, darling, I’ll get you straight to heaven, hm?”, you wanted to respond as you got cut of by a moan from yourself.

It was Dazai, he started with a long, simple lick. Which made you lose your mind.

Now, i don’t blame you, it’s his tongue we should blame, right?

You were so embarrassed by that moan that cut you off, you tried to keep it down, which Dazai despised.

Therefore he added a finger to press against your clit, making you lose yet another moan.

“That’s right, let me hear your sweet moans, princess. If I’m pleasuring you, i want to hear how good I’m at it.”, this man, he always knew how to put his mouth to good use, didn’t he?

“S-shut up..i know your a-already aware of it..”, “You’re right, you’re getting wetter each second, Bella. Should be proof enough, don’t you agree?”, Dazai wasn’t lying, his voice and tongue were responsible for this.

He went back to making out with your pussy, going back to rubbing on your bud.

“But it’s okay, you taste sweet, darling. The more the better, am i right?”, you were getting closer each lick, each rub made the knot in your stomach closer to explode. The pleasure became too much for you.

“T-too much..D-dazai, c-can’t take it- it’s overwhelming m-me!”, you forced past your lips, trying not to moan during.

“I know you can take it, angel. I’m almost done, okay?”, Dazai claimed, he was right once again, because you were about to snap in a mere seconds.

Finally, the sweet release hit you right to the ninth cloud of heaven.

“See? Feels so good, right?”

“Are you sure you’re ready, doll?” Chuuya asked as he kneeled down to face your bare cunt.

“Y-yes, I’m ready, please me, Chuuya.”, Chuuya smirked at this.

He kissed it lightly, making your breath hitch.

But he wanted to hear more.

Chuuya dived into your pussy like it was his last meal, which made it more difficult to stay quiet.

“Let me hear your sweet moans, baby. Maybe they’re more pretty than this pussy, hm?”, oh god, Chuuya really knows how to get you off, doesn’t he?

But, since it’s literally impossible to stay quiet, you let go.

Just how he wanted.

This encouraged him to treat your cunt with all the wet licks and kisses it deserves.

This made you loose your mind, Chuuya was really going at it-

“You taste so fuckin' sweet, angel. Fuck, i can't believe i get to fuck this pussy, aren't you excited, baby?”, oh how right he was.

The knot was about to snap when Chuuya suddenly pulled away, making you whine at the loss.

“Chuuya? W-why did you- oh god..!”, Chuuya let two fingers enter the wet, begging pussy of yours.

He still had his gloves on, but you didn't care, because they were a new level of pleasure, one you couldn't handle so well.

Chuuya moved his fingers in scissor-motion, this almost made you scream.

He really was skilled with his hands..

All this was way too much for you- i mean, all at once? This was wild.

“C-chuuya..s-slow down- it's t-t'much..!”, Chuuya was already deep into your cunt, already too pussydrunk of you. He couldn't bring himself to stop.

“Come on, please- i know you can take it, angel.”, you don't exactly know what has gotten into Chuuya, but his needyness made you cum in an instant.

As the waves of your high hit you, you hear Chuuya undo his belt.

“I felt you on my tongue and on my fingers, it wouldn't be fair to leave my cock out, right, baby?”

I think i made Chuuyaʼs WAY to short..but i hope you enjoyed it! 💔 (could've been better tho..)

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

Can I request headcanons or a scenario for Reader (pick a gender, idc) giving V a handjob? Just holding him close, somewhere safe in some nice + safe bolt hole somewhere in Red Grave city, listening to him moan (and maybe talk? If he can talk while getting off) while Reader gets him off? Please, his voice is so pretty, he'd sound so nice 😍 And he deserves to feel good 💜

Lineaments of Gratified Desire: V x G/N Reader

Minors DNI; FOR 18+ ONLY!

Seriously, go away; go read some fluff or angst or something.

SUMMARY:

     Despite V’s physical limitations and condition, the fragile man has saved you on more than one occasion from certain death. Today, you decided to repay his kind deeds.

BEGINNING NOTES:

Requested 10th June 2023 by Saiyanblood2 on Tumblr :))))

🛏️📔🛏️ Submissive V x G/N reader Fluff..? If you squint Smut Handjob; V receiving 📔🛏️📔 🟪Takes place during DMC 5 🟪The reader is a demon hunter who works with the DMC. 🟪The reader uses Gilgamesh and Revenant. 🟪Quick reminder that “sword” sizes are found in the character's H/C chapter (Linked here) 🟪I haven’t finished “Visions of V” yet (not very good at reading things and I haven’t had much time/motivation to do so no Vergil joke intended lmfao) but I’m like 99% sure that this conflicts with that, sorry. 🟪Yes, I know that jumping from a window you should do like a parachute roll or whatever it’s called; just let me have this lmao 🟪Bagheera is the name of the jaguar from “Jungle Book” which I’ve never seen, if I’m honest. But! I feel like Dante and Vergil would’ve seen it as kids since the movie was made in 1967 and they were born in 1980. (I use Bagheera in here and I figure I should explain it lol) 🟪Boxer briefs (as far as I am aware) usually have a zipper fly; so V’s do as well. 🟪This is my first time writing (and acknowledging) that I h/c V to have an uncut dick. It might be a bit rough; sorry. (Fun fact: I also h/c Vergil and Dante to also have uncut dicks lmao)

===

     “So,” Nero mindlessly wandered around the interior of the van, waiting for Nico to finish her work, “You and V, huh?”

     As you adjusted Gilgamesh’s gauntlets and furrowed your brow, responding without looking up, “What about V and me?”

     Leaning against the inner wall of the van, Nero stuck his hand in his jeans pocket in an attempt to act casual, “You two a thing?”

     “Wh-what?” A flustered expression adorned your features as you slowly panned up to meet Nero’s curious gaze.

     “Come on,” he gave a playful smirk, leaning forward slightly, “You can--”

     A loud southern-accented voice cut him off from the back of the van, “He an’ I got a bet if y’all are fuckin’ or not.”

     “If we’re…” You slowly blinked, processing what was said, “V and I are not-” Putting your hands up, you shook your head, “We aren’t anything or doing anything.”

     Nico clicked her tongue in disappointment while Nero pumped his fist with a quiet, “Yes!”

     Rolling her eyes, Nico pulled a wad of cash from her back pocket, counting out what looked like ten dollars. Nero strolled over to her workbench, a smug grin plastered on his face. In an almost exaggerated manner, he snatched the money from her and tucked it in his duffle bag, which was neatly placed underneath the couch.

     A squeak of the van door caught everyone’s attention, V looked around for a moment before his gaze fixated on you, “Pardon my late arrival, I was… busy.”

     You smiled and took a few steps to stand closer to him, “It’s alright; it was nice having a break for a few minutes.”

     Nero raised a brow, “You guys are already heading out?” 

     With a nod, you turned to address the pair, “Just a quick sweep of the next dozen or so blocks; we shouldn’t be long.”

     “Uh-huh,” the white-haired man took a deep breath, shaking his head with a small smile, “You’re gonna burn yourself out again; gotta sleep at some point.”

     He tossed you Revenant which you caught and slid in the holster on your lower back, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Besides,” you took a deep breath and sighed, “the city’s not gonna clear itself.”

     Making a phone call motion with her hand, Nico spoke, “Keep in touch, hun.”

     With a playful sarcastic wink you gave her double finger guns, “Will do babe,” the two of you shared a laugh before you addressed V, who, unbeknownst to you, hadn't stopped staring at you, “Ready?”

     “Of course,” he pivoted around, opening and holding the door open, “I’ll follow your lead.”

     With departing waves, you stepped out the door, V following suit. A warmth found its way to your face as you smiled as you walked side-by-side; a comforting silence settling between you. Despite only knowing V briefly, you had grown quite fond of the lithe man. The way he treated you and spoke to you was so different compared to the roughness of both Dante and Nero that it made his first meeting with you stick out like a sore thumb. 

===

    It had only been a week or so after the Qliphoth had appeared.

    After only God knows how long, you had taken some vacation time and left the city. Upon hearing the news about the outbreak, you immediately turned around and put your holiday on hold. This wouldn't have been too big of a deal if not for the unbelievably high amount of military checkpoints you had to go through; re-explaining that you work as a devil hunter and your employer had been asked to help handle the situation. It was monotonous, to say the least.

    Not to mention that Nico, Nero, and the client--whom you hadn't met yet--were on the complete opposite side of the city.

    An exasperated sigh left your lips as you kicked a rock using Gilgamesh's boots. It had been nearly 72 hours since you'd slept, eaten, or had any sort of significant source of water. Exhausted didn't even come close to explaining how you felt.

    Thankfully, life decided to throw you a bone and you stumbled upon a relatively un-damaged apartment complex. Not passing up the chance, you headed straight inside and cleared out the first and second floor: given it was only lower-level demons like Empusas. One of the second-floor rooms had a door still attached and a corpse-free bed. Quietly shutting the door, you flopped onto the bed.

    Even with you sleeping with one eye open, you were jumped by a demon that you hadn't heard. It was a Nobody and by the time you got your arms up to block, it was too late to ground yourself. The demon smacked you out the room's window.

    Landing on your feet, Gilgamesh took the brunt of the fall; however, it still sent a shocking pang of pain up your body. Crumpling over on yourself, you grumbled some obscenities before returning upright. Your eyes settled on a newly formed horde and you put your hands up, ready to fight.

    The extent of your exhaustion was becoming evident as you threw sloppy punches and were only able to kick half as high as normal. Despite this, you still managed to clear the demons... or so you thought.

     An icicle from a Baphomet nicked your bicep causing you to hiss in pain. Placing a gauntlet over the torn flesh, you spun around to see the demon which was floating right out in the open. Though it was a stupid move, you spirited straight at the icy demon, avoiding all manner of magical attacks.

    Using Gilgamesh's saws on your boots, you sprung upwards and drilled up into its brain with the gauntlets; killing it. Smiling to yourself, you landed and shook the corpse from your hand.

    Your hair stood on end and your expression fell.

    Slowly pivoting around, you came face to face with a trio of Hell Judeccas. As you waited with bated breath for one of them to move, you felt the blood from your wound glide down and drip off your fingers. The Baphomet was a challenge enough right now; so this fight would most likely end poorly for you. Death was almost a guarantee and there wasn't even anyone around to see it.

    Taking a deep breath, you took off towards the demons and dodged two sets of blades that were sent straight at you by sliding on your knees. Pulling Revenant from its place on your back, you shot at them, praying that you hit at least one. However, you weren't so lucky and they all moved or teleported out of the way.

    Quickly getting to your feet, you readied for another attack when a strange cat-like snarl from behind you caught you off guard. The supposed source of the sound, a large black jaguar, darted passed you and attacked the opposing creatures.

     Then a shrill cackle came from behind in the same direction, quickly approaching and flying over you, “Ha! Bagheera was right, I’ll be damned.”

    Confusion set in as you watched with mouth slightly agape at the demons being shredded by, what you could only assume to be, more demons.

     “ “The most sublime act is to set another before you. / If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.”.” A low sultry voice from behind you caught your attention, turning slightly; attempting to keep an eye on both the demons and the new voice.

     “Who-?” 

     You froze, your already pounding heart picking up a few extra paces at the sight. Though Dante had called you and given you a small description of the newest client of (The) Devil May Cry, you hadn’t expected him to look like this. 

     He slowly walked past you, sliding the well-kept brown pleather and golden accented book into his, rather promiscuous, leather jacket. When you turned back around to face the demons, the amount of confusion you had only tripled. The two animals had taken care of the three Hell Judeccas, all looking oddly de-saturated and on the verge of death. The gaunt tattooed stranger, using his cane, swept up one of the large demon’s sets of blades and swung them around, slicing it in half. He repeated the action but was able to kill the final two in one combined swing. 

     All you could muster was a confused open-mouthed huff. 

     The large hawk addressed the raven-haired man, “Well that was fun.”

     Rolling his eyes, the man sighed and turned his attention to the jaguar. The large cat had begun to creep up to you; not in a threatening way but rather, what appeared to be, a curious one.

     Just as it got within an arm's length from you, the man placed his cane down using it to support himself, and simply said, “To me.”

     Both animals returned to him and quickly disappeared into the man, causing more blackened ink to appear on his pallid skin. 

     “Are you alright?” His eyes focused on you.

     “I-” You closed your eyes and rapidly shook your head, rationalizing that his animals weren't real, thinking it was caused by your delirious state, “I’m fine; thanks for the help.”

     A warm smile pulled at his plush lips, “The boy asked me to keep an eye out for someone who looks an awful lot like you,” he gestured with his eyes down to Gilgamesh, “and would have that devil arm.”

     You laughed softly, “Nero’s actually here, huh?”

     “He is, however, we parted ways after stopping in that woman’s loud van.”

     “Nico’s here too?” Shaking your head you looked down with raised brows, “Man, the whole crew’s out here.,” You looked back up, “What about Dante or the ladies? They out here too?”

     His smile faded, “No, I’m afraid that they are more than likely dead at this point.”

     “Dead? Surely you’re kidding.”

     With a flat mouth, he broke his gaze away for a moment, “No. Sorry to relay such bitter news upon our first meeting.”

     Grinding your teeth in thought and moving your jaw back and forth, you stood thinking for a moment, “So it’s just Nico, Nero, me, and--?”

     “Call me V,” the lithe man took a few strides closer to you, standing comfortably close.

     “So you are the client then?”

     V nodded, “Yes, that is correct.”

     “Man,” you gestured with one hand up and down his body, the other hand resting on your hip, “Wish we had customers like you more often,” for better or for worse, you spoke your mind, “cause damn you’re-- wow.”

     He looked down, hiding the slight pink on his face at the comment, and laughed, “You’re much more blunt than the others led me to believe.”

     A wide smile stretched across your face, emphasizing the bags under your bloodshot eyes, which V finally noted, “Just callin’ it like I see it, V.”

     “May I do the same?”

     Putting your arms up, you cracked your shoulders as you responded, “Sure.”

     “You need rest.”

     Putting your arms down with a heavy sigh, “It’s that obvious, huh?”

     V laughed slightly, “Just calling it as I see it,” slowly, he began to walk back the way he’d come from, “We aren’t far from Nico, I'm sure you could rest up there.”

     Happily, you turned to follow him, “I’ll follow your lead.”

===

     “What’s with that expression Wanderer?” V raised a brow, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

     “Oh!” With an embarrassed smile, you placed a hand on the back of your neck, “Just got lost in thought, sorry.”

     “May I ask what you were thinking so intensely about?” He shifted slightly, allowing Shadow to take a break from traveling, and began supporting himself with his cane causing the two of you to move slower.

     “Just thinking about our first time, that’s all.”

     A breathy sultry laugh left his lips, “ Our first time? Well now, I didn’t take you to be such a bold flirt today.”

     “Wh-huh?” Replaying the conversation, your eyes went wide and you turned to him, doing your best to not trip as you continued walking, “No no- I didn’t-- that wasn’t-”

     V laughed again, eyeing you up and down from the corner of his eye with a smirk, “Right, pardon my assumption.”

     You stared with parted lips momentarily before returning to face the correct way, lips pursed and cheeks unbearably hot. Nervousness settled like a brick in your gut as you watched the ground in front of you, causing you to miss the fact V was staring at you with half-lidded eyes. 

     Mindlessly playing with his teeth with his tongue, he debated whether to tease you any further about what was said; ultimately he decided to drop it. In truth, however, the lithe man was a bit disappointed that you weren’t thinking about the idea of being with him as he had thought about many times before. V felt almost guilty about the intense lust he felt for you.

     The raven-haired poet was unquestionably, unfathomably, undeniably, in love with you--even if he has only known you for a short time. V was certain that he wanted to be with you for the rest of this lifetime and, what could be argued to be, his next; in whatever way you’d have him. Whether it was just as colleagues, friends, or lovers; it didn’t matter, he needed you in his life. 

     His grip tightened on his cane, realizing that Vergil may end up pushing you away, despite the pronounced dependency on you. You were like a rich dark sweet wine that he was unable to put down and wanted to do nothing but sip upon you till the end of time itself. A low sigh left his nose, secretly praying that he was wrong about how things would be when all was said and done. 

     “V?” Your voice was quiet as you adjusted Gilgamesh for the umpteenth time, “Can I ask you something?”

     “Of course,” he straightened upright, holding the cane horizontally, gloved fingers wrapping around the blade.

     “When this is all over, could we…” You paused for a moment, “stay in contact?”

     “Do you want to?”

     Sheepishly, you nodded.

     V smirked, “Then of course we can.”

     Your eyes flicked up to meet his unwavering gaze, smiling brightly at him, “Thanks.”

     “Perhaps, if you’d like, we could consider some other things as well.”

     “O-other things?” A shake had found its way to your words as you waited with bated breath for his answer.

     However, he didn’t answer, instead, he gave a low chuckle and turned his gaze from you, gesturing with his cane, “It seems we have work to do,” he put the metal back down and leaned on it again.

     A heavy sigh left your lips and, without a second thought, you took off toward the horde.

     Not hearing V calling out for you to stop.

     Out of the corner of your eye, you saw fast almost unplaceable movement. Although you went to bring your gauntlets up as fast as possible, you were unable to make the time gap. Except when you opened your eyes, instead of a big demon skewering you through your middle, you were on your ass and V was lying on top of you. His arms wrapped around your hips with his face right underneath your navel, face down and breathing heavily.

     Before you could ask, a familiar squawking voice chimed in, “Aw, how romantic; Romeo can sure as hell hustle when he needs to,” the bird let out a laugh.

     A snarl left Shadow’s maw, seemingly annoyed at the lack of help from Griffon. 

     “Yeah. Yeah. I’m on it,” Griffon returned to the fight, leaving you to assist V up.

     Slowly, he picked his head up enough to look at you, emerald eyes holding a heavy unplaceable emotion. Heat quickly filled your face at the realization of the position you were in which didn’t go unnoticed by the raven-haired man. Without moving too much, V snapped his fingers causing his hair to go white and the last of his tattoos to dissipate. 

     “Are you alright?” You propped yourself up with one arm and used the other to cautiously tuck his hair back, resting an armoured palm on his cheek. 

     “Mmn,” he paused in thought, enjoying the feeling of your touch, “If you are then I am.”

     A corner of your mouth twitched up slightly, “I’m alright; thank you.”

     He took a deep breath in response, resisting the urge to place his face back down against your abdomen. Though all good things come to an end he knew he had to get up. With a grunt, he pushed up and sat up in a kneel, one knee up for him to push off of. However, you were quick to your feet and offered a hand instead, which he graciously accepted. 

     “I’ve got this,” you squeezed his hand before letting go, “Don’t worry about it.”

     Not giving him time to banter or reject your offer, you took off and finished off whatever half-dead demons were strewn about. 

     It didn’t take long for the horde to disappear into nothing but blood and gore. Admittedly, V always enjoys watching you work--especially with hand-to-hand weapons. Whether it is a holdover from Vergil’s distaste for guns or if it is because of the innate sensual nature of the style; he couldn’t help but find it arousing. The way you seemed to show off for him was just a cherry on top. 

     There was something in the way you pranced around that he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by. With all of this considered, V was struggling to not become visibly excited and, much to his dismay, was starting to lose the fight. 

     Once the demons were dead, you waltzed over to V and carefully grabbed his arm, tugging slightly, “Come with me.”

     “Is something the matter, Wanderer?” The lithe man’s hair returned to its dark shade as Nightmare faded from sight.

     You shook your head, flashing him a closed-eye smile, “Nope; just trust me, V.”

     He swallowed hard and nodded, “Very well, lead on.”

     A confused tilt adorned his brow as he tried to piece together what you were doing-- or planning. It wasn’t long before the two of you reached the destination you wanted, a mostly intact hotel. 

     “Could you leave Griffon and Shadow out here, please?” You turned to him, stopping in front of the entrance. 

     His gaze thinned, “May I ask why?”

     “Last time I went into one of these, I got attacked and thrown out a two-story window,” you gave him a falsely doe-eyed smile, “Figure they could be our lookout for a little bit--just until we’re done.”

     V wanted to push for a better answer, knowing that made no sense; however, his curiosity got the better of him and, deciding to play along, summoned both familiars. 

     “Stay here, we will be back shortly-”

     Griffon immediately turned to you, laughing with a slightly impudent attitude to his words, “Be careful with him, don’t need him dying of a heart attack-”

     You laughed, cutting the bird off, “I’ll take care of him; I promise.”

     With that, the two of you disappeared into the building. 

     “I’m going to scout ahead a bit; okay?” You let go of his arm, making V ever-so-slightly frown.

     “Sure.”

     As you went on, V’s eyes quickly drifted to your hips. Lewd thoughts echoed in his mind as he watched you seemingly bounce down the hall, peeking into each room with just the right amount of lean forwards so that he got a perfect view of your body. Each stride of yours had this certain flaunting nature to it as if you were purposefully taunting him. 

     Reaching the final room on the first floor, you decided to head in. Though no one else was aware, you’d already surveyed this building earlier and cleared out every demon within; meaning only small fries--like Empusas--would be here, if at all. This room was the closest to normal there was, having almost zero damage. 

     The room was relatively large; the bathroom was to the left of the doorway and the rest of the room to the right. The bedding was still neatly tucked, the faucet still ran, and there was even a radio with quite an array of classical CDs. 

     You made your way over to said radio with a hum, bending over at the waist to rummage through the music.

     V joined you in the room, looking around in slight confusion before his gaze settled on you again. A sway had found its way to your hips and, despite your flustered and nervous feeling, you smirked. You knew he was looking at you; confirming your hunch about his oddly vague words. 

     Eventually settling on a random assortment of Tchaikovsky's work, you slowly stood upright and placed the disc in the player with a half-surprised laugh at the fact it still worked. When you turned around, a wide-eyed stare was all you could give to V, who was shifting awkwardly and avoiding your eyes. Though you’d hope some light teasing would get him in the mood, you hadn’t expected him to get so hard so quickly.

     Without a word to him, you slipped past him and into the bathroom. Carefully, you placed Gilgamesh’s gauntlets and Revenant on the countertop then washed your hands, using the soap left in the dispenser. Returning to the room while drying your hands, you meandered toward the extremely confused horny goth. 

     As you discarded the towel, V finally spoke up, “Wanderer, what are we doing here?”

     “Well,” you gently grabbed the open of his jacket, a hand on each side, thumbing over the black leather, “After how many times you’ve saved me, I figure that it’s about time you get a reward.”

     His eyes flicked all around your face then down to your forearms, resting his cane against a nearby wall. Cautiously, V snaked his arms around your back and pulled you tight to him, “A reward ?”

     “Yeah,” you leaned closer and placed your nose beside his, lips just barely apart, speaking with a whisper, “If you’re interested…”

     Closing the gap, V leaned into you for both support and to deepen the kiss. An icy hand slid up your back, gracefully dancing across your still-clothed skin, and came to rest on the back of your neck. Your hands slid down his sides, coming to rest at his belt line, hooking your forefingers into the loops of his ever-tightening skinny jeans. 

     Switching to long drawn-out heated kisses, V squirmed under your touch as he felt you pull his hips into yours. Breaking away for a moment, the two of you stayed close, breathing heavily in content. A smirk pulled at his lips as he moved to kiss your up jawline, taking his time, making his way to your earlobe, tugging on it with a bite. 

     V rested with the side of his face against yours. The hand from your neck made its way to your upper back and, mindlessly, the thin man began to sway with you, enjoying the music and relaxing in the moment. You could feel his heart racing from just his chest resting against yours; no wonder Griffon gave you shit about V having a heart attack. 

     Bit by bit your hands left his jeans and went to his corset, undoing the already loose strings further. Taking the hint, V let go of you and removed his jacket then his corset; being tossed onto the bed and floor, respectively. A small huffed moan left his lips as he watched your hands grope up and down his torso.

     “Wanderer…” His voice was low, but brimming with an unmistakable lust.

     Resting your hands on the sides of his hips, you stood for a moment. A smirk tugged at your lips as you watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. Leaning closer, you placed a kiss at the crook of his shoulder, followed by a soft bite. V submissively tilted his head away from you, giving you more access to his neck. A smile tugged at your lips as you placed tender kisses, and the occasional bite, along his cold skin. A hand slid to the front of his jeans, finally, your touch wasn’t to just tease him. 

     V placed his hands on your sides, holding you closer, pursed lips hiding a groan that hung in the back of his throat. Though he knows it’s a bit pathetic, just feeling your hand against his cock was proving to be somewhat of a challenge for the inexperienced man to not prematurely finish. 

     Using both hands, you went to remove his belt, before stopping. V’s swaying had become much more pronounced--not having a means of support other than you. 

     You whispered against his neck, “Why don’t we sit down, hm?”

     V, much to your surprise, seemed to stumble over his thoughts, “Any par- particular position?”

     Fully leaning back, you grabbed his hand and guided him to the bed, “Get up here-- do you need help?”

     He gave a nasally laugh, “No, I am alright,” he crawled up onto the bed, kneeling with his knees both on the bed, “Now what?”

     Without answering, you climbed atop the mattress as well, sitting with your back nearly against the headboard, and patted your thighs. Understanding what you wanted, V sat on your lap facing you, wrapping his legs behind you.

     “You’re beautiful, V,” reaching up, you moved a strand of hair from the front of his face, tucking it behind his ear, and leaned in close, speaking right above his lips, “So very beautiful.”

     The gap quickly closed between you and V’s hands cupped your jaw, thumbs rubbing against your cheeks. Your hands went back to work on his belt, making him shift slightly. Feeling that you had the belt fully undone, his lips left yours, and he moved back just enough to look you in the eyes. With kiss-swollen lips slightly agape, V swallowed hard as he heard you unbutton his jeans. 

     Slowly, methodically, you unzipped the fly on his jeans, making sure to note every little micro-movement V made. This had been something you’d wanted for a long time and you were going to make sure to enjoy every last bit. When you finally broke from his gaze to look down, you raised a brow.

     Nervousness pooling in his gut, V noticed your expression, “Is- is something wrong, love?”

     A wide smile tugged at your lips, “No- not at all,” trying to hold back a laugh you looked back up at him, “It's just, with the rest of your outfit, I honestly expected you to be wearing a thong or g-string; not boxer briefs.”

     V let out a laugh of relief, “I see; I-” A stifled moan cut his words short. 

     Resting your hand on the inner side of his thigh, you started to slowly run the side of your thumb up and down his bulge.

     Heavy exhales left his nose as he watched your hand and he moved his hands to the outsides of your shoulders.

     Out of the corner of your eye, you saw V’s coat on the bed and got a wicked idea, “You know V,” your motions slowed even further causing him to let out a small huff of disappointment, “I really like your voice…”

     His brow twitched slightly, attempting to figure out what you had in store, “Is that right?”

     Carefully, you reached over to his jacket, grabbed his book from an inner pocket, and then handed it to him, “Why don’t you read me something, hm?”

     “Is there a particular poem you’d like?” The prized item was held between you both, the top of it resting gently against your chest.

     You shook your head, “Whatever you think fits best.”

     As he flipped through the book, you resumed your touch. With eyes trained on his crotch, you unzipped the boxer’s fly and heard his page-turning falter slightly. Slipping his cock out into the open air, V let out a small moan, a page pinned between his forefinger and thumb.

     “Now, now, V.” You looked up at him from the tops of your eyes, “You stop, I stop; got it?”

     He pursed his lips and then nodded, continuing with his search. There was a visible shake to his hands as he did his best to play along. Ghosting your fingers along his shaft, you noticed that he had pre-cum already dribbling from his tip and he was heavily twitching; apparently, he was much more sensitive than you’d expected. 

     Rolling his foreskin back slightly, you thumbed over his tip. His page-turning had stopped again, and you hummed slightly, “Find one?”

     With a slightly strained voice, he nodded, “Y-yes, I,” he moaned as you lightly wrapped a hand around his shaft, closing his eyes he continued, “I found something suitable.”

     “Good,” you brought your thumb to your lips and put it in your mouth, cleaning the digit, “The floor is yours,” V’s eyes flicked to you, watching you mindlessly roll your tongue over your lips, and his blush deepened tenfold. 

     A shaky breath left his mouth as he focused on the page before him, “ “What is it men in women do require? / The l-lineaments of Gratified Desire.”.”

     Spitting into your palm, you once again wrapped a hand around his shaft. With slow lazy pumps, you noted the feeling of his cock in your hand. Eyes flicking between his face and dick.

     V’s brow twitched as he let out a hissing groan, “ “Wh-what is it women do in men require? / The lineaments of Gr-gratified Desire.”,” The raven-haired man’s hips unintentionally jerked slightly at the feeling of you putting your forefinger and thumb tips together, encircling his cock, and gently pulling up on his tip. 

     He hunched forwards slightly, his hair falling in front of his eyes, “ “The look of love alarms / Because ’tis f-fill’d with fire; / But the look of s-soft de-deceit- / Shall Win the love-lover’s hire” Ngh-ah~”     The fragile man’s legs constricted your middle ever tighter with each passing moment. Returning to stroking his entire length, you slowed down; not wanting him to finish quite yet. 

     Lips trembling, he continued, “ “S-soft Deceit & Idleness, / These ar-are Beauty’s sweetest dress. He--” 

     A sustained groan left his lips as he leaned forwards even more, placing the top of his head against your lips, which you placed a loving kiss upon, “ “He who binds to himself a- a joy / Dot the winged life d-destroy;”.”

     V bucked his hips slightly upwards, desperate for more friction, speaking with a whimpering moan, “Please, Wanderer, I can’t-”

     Whispering against him, you slowed your motions even further, “You’re almost done, my love… finish it for me; please?”

     Taking a stuttering inhale through his nose and low breathy exhale from his mouth, he licked his lips before continuing, “ “But he who ki-kisses the joy as it flies / Live in Eternity’s sun-sunrise.” Ah-ah~”

     Quickening your hand even faster than before, you placed another elongated kiss against his hair, “Good boy.”

     Tossing the book from his hands V sat upright. Icy fingers wrapped around the back of your neck and gripped the side of your shoulder. The raven-haired man began to thrust his hips into your hand, practically riding your thighs. 

     You smirked and leaned in to place kisses on his collarbones, “I love you, V.”

     “I- Uh-ah~,” another loud noise came from the man as he felt you add you use his pre to slick his cock even more, “I love you too, Wanderer.”

     You upturned your face slightly, kissing his throat up to the underside of his jaw, a confident purr to your words, “You gonna cum for me, V~?”

     The frantic shifting of his hands to cup the sides of your face gave you your answer. V guided your face up to his and placed his forehead against yours. 

     “Please,” his voice was soft and pleading, his mind a hazy lust-filled mess that was unable to come up with any other words. 

     Upon using one hand to stroke him and the other to play with his tip, you felt his thigh muscles tighten and his fingers dig into you. He pushed his lips onto yours, kissing you as if he were never going to be able to again. His hands wandered down your body, groping at your clothes.

     Balling up your shirt in his hands from his grip, he broke off the kiss, a string of saliva connecting you momentarily. The skinny man leaned back and arched his body into yours. 

     He let out a final full-mouthed moan and bucked his hips one last time as his body tensed. 

     Warm silky white fluid decorated your hands as you slowly rode out his orgasm. A feeling of pride filled your heart as you made sure to etch the sight before you into your mind. 

     V’s skin had completely lost all of the inky patches and his chest was heaving. With how far he arched back, you could see the underside of his ribs and the prominent hip dips on each side. You watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he audibly swallowed a few times. 

     After a moment, he leaned back towards you. 

     Ghostly white hair fell in front of his flushed features as V’s eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips and the two of you shared one more kiss. This time, however, it wasn’t lustful but a sweet loving gesture. With slow long kisses, V placed a forefinger under your jaw. Upon breaking away, you both shared a breathy satisfied huff and he slid his hand to cup your cheek, thumbing over your skin.

     “So,” you relaxed into his touch, “Are we getting attacked or something?” His brow twitched in confusion, “Your hair.”

     “Did I really..?” he leaned away and focused on the strands in front of his eyes which were slowly returning to black, “That’s… I didn’t know that would happen; how strange.”

     You removed your hands and looked at them, a slight playful teasing to your voice, “Little pent up there V?”

     Although you weren’t complaining, V had cum quite a lot harder than you’d expected and made a mess between both of you. 

     With an embarrassed laugh, he turned from your gaze, and rested his hands on his thighs, “Perhaps it is because you are so important to me…” V didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t even tried to masturbate while in this form--not to mention that Vergil hadn’t done anything like that in over twenty years. 

     Humming quietly along to the long-forgotten music, you brought your hand up to your mouth and cleaned it off. V’s eyes immediately flicked to you and he stared at you wide-eyed. Slowly, your eyes drifted to his as you continued. 

     When you went to give your other, less coated hand, the same treatment, you noticed something else and raised your brows in surprise, “That was a quick turnaround.”

     The tattooed man looked down and then back at you, “It’s not my fault you are so… appealing to me,” once more, he leaned his forehead against yours, “Wanderer.”

     “Mnm, well then,” you placed a long kiss against his lips, biting his lower lip after, “Guess my work isn’t done then, hm?”

     “Your work?” V backed away and removed his legs from your waist, running a hand down your middle, resting it just above your hip line, “If it’s all the same to you, this time, I’d much rather be the one to play.”

===

ENDING NOTES: Not me having no clue how to end this lmfao 🛏️📔🛏️ Been a long time since I’ve tried to write V lol I really should write him more Also hope that this was close enough to the request. I just kind of ran with the flow so it’s not exactly the same--the poem reading isn’t really what was asked but I figured it was close enough. Another thing, sorry for the improper dividing of dialogue trees when V’s reading. It was too chaotic for me to feel comfortable leaving in one chunk (which is technically what I should’ve done since it was only V talking) sorry lol Also if you are into like video edit shit, I’ve been re-watching one from “V’s Love” on YouTube titled “V | Slow Down | DMC 5 GMV”. Give it a watch- seriously it’s fans myself gayly oh boy. 📔🛏️📔 Poem(s) Quoted: William Blake: Proverbs of Hell William Blake: Several Questions Answered (full version)

If you like what you read here; please check out the rest of my one-shots on AO3. Comments, reshares, and likes/kudos are appreciated!! Thanks for reading!

MASTER LIST FOR TUMBLR

[jeork]

TC Tag Game

As always I’m excessively late to the party, but thanks @renaultphile for the tag!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t have a copy of the book at hand right now, but while Laurie is visiting home for the wedding he goes on a walk and recites this weird incest-y song to himself, then contemplates how it always felt relatable to him. I’m not saying he would not fucking say that, because obviously he does and I hear him quite clearly. But I am saying maybe he should not have fucking said that. 

Also Ralph calling Bunny “Boo”. I don’t care how drunk he was, you don’t randomly slip out with a word you wouldn’t otherwise use. It’s part of his vocabulary. This one had me in contemplation for months, like, would he ever call Laurie that? Does this count towards the bad habits and lifestyle choices he wants to abandon while being with Laurie? Whole scene’s just embarrassing af 

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they probably did, but that it was very chaste. I’m convinced the kiss between Laurie and Andrew is supposed to mirror it almost exactly. The way I see it, Laurie didn’t fully process it and therefore just stood there. From the flashback he got later on while holding onto Ralph’s sleeve while they’re in Ralph's room I think Laurie might’ve grabbed onto Ralph’s arm a little. But other than that I don’t think he did much, which made Ralph decide he wasn’t ready yet.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I wasn’t aware this is something people discuss lmao, I’ve only thought about it once myself. Gonna be a party pooper and say he has none, as it's "improper"

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I feel like me and @renaultphile are the only ‘59 truthers. I think I once even wrote an entire post just on why I like that Mary cut the knee-touch?

Again, don’t have any book copies at hand right now, but I remember one small detail in the ‘53 I really loved. During Alec’s birthday party while he’s blowing out the candles everyone is looking at him, and for a moment there’s this shared feeling of hopefulness. In the ‘53 Laurie feels someone’s eyes on him, but by the time he turns around Ralph has already stopped looking. Something about Ralph glancing at Laurie in this moment, who’s presence represents so much to Ralph, makes me ache. 

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

I guess the obvious answers would be something like Hazell, Sandy or Bunny, but I feel like Andrew would run the most terrifically angsty aesthetic account. Also young Laurie, he'd probably write bad poetry or something

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The two guys holding hands in dead silence, not because I can relate, but because they really set the scene. Or the petty shit-stirrer who snitches on Ralph having a boyfriend. Or the other petty shit-stirrer who cries "Here comes Bim"

7. Post a TC meme.

I used to run a TC meme account over on Twitter. I’ve planned on reposting all of that stuff on here sometime, in the meantime here’s one: 

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave. The Mature Wholesome Elder act he’s putting on at the end is pissing me off. Self-serving cu- 

Also, following the heavy implications that Alec had been snuggling it up with Bunny for quite a while, I think he got off pretty scot free 

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I really wanted him to stay friends with Reg. I always felt like Madge’s Aunt Vera joke was pretty funny and well intended, albeit improper and terribly timed. It didn’t come off to me as her making fun of him for being gay. More like her trying to awkwardly bond over it, similar to Reg during The Bathroom Talk™. If Laurie hadn’t been so emotionally rattled at that time I feel like he would’ve played it off. It was such bad timing for him. So I wanna scream at him “Chill out, they’re clearly not out to get you!” 

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I think there still might be a couple minor details, but I can’t remember them right now. The only bigger piece of dialogue that’s still a little intransparent to me is Ralph’s whole speech at the beginning of their post-wedding trip argument. I have my theories about it, but would also enjoy to hear more. 

Considering I’m over a month late and have no clue who did this tag already I’ll open it up to whoever might still wanna do it. 

[the-marshals-wife]

Alright, I am in love with Wrecker having kids of his own. 🥺 he'd be such a sweet dad and I can't wait to see the rest of the batch as fathers! I was wondering though, would you ever do this for the 501st or any other clones? Cause I'd be here for it for sure 🥺💕💖 Especially if you did Hardcase becoming a dad, that goof ball would be adorable ahhh! Anyways, I can't wait to read the rest of the batch!! 😭💖💕💞💖💕💞

A/N: Oh my goodness yes, time for some Hardcase representation! I think there'd be a lot of similarities between Wrecker's and Hardcase's parenting styles. Thank you for your continued support of my writing and blog! 💙

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Having A Child With Hardcase Would Include

Description: Hardcase x Fem!Reader. As with my other clone headcanons/preferences, it's a Y/N insert story with the number of children I envision reader and Hardcase having.

Rating: General audiences (with a spicy reference if you squint), AU fluffiness where Umbara turns out different and this sweetheart gets the life he deserves 😌| Gif credit: user rexsjaigeyes

There is never a dull moment with Hardcase

If you thought parenthood was going to slow him down in any way, no you didn't

Becoming a father only amplified his playful, witty personality, something you didn't think was scientifically possible

When you told him you were pregnant, he all but bounced off the walls

Hardcase was "so kriffin' excited" to become a dad

He said exactly that to every person that crossed his path for weeks on end, especially his brothers

"How did I get so lucky? I can't believe it."

("Me either. Y/N actually thinks the galaxy can survive a smaller, louder version of you" - Fives, probably)

You were admittedly a bit nervous about becoming a parent, but as always, Hardcase had no fear

He tackled the learning curve head on, and it brought you so much joy and confidence to see his paternal instincts kick in as you both prepared for the arrival of your little one

Suddenly, he was aware of every hazard he'd never paid attention to himself, and in just a few hours, he completely baby-proofed every inch of your apartment

He even kept track of the days in your pregnancy, counting down to your expected due date

He loves (to attempt) cooking for you

Is he great at it? No. Did he burn everything at first and almost set your kitchen on fire three times? Definitely. Did he get better with practice and learn to make your favorite foods just the way you like them? Absolutely

Lots of cuddles watching holos together

Whenever he had to leave for the day, he would always kiss you first and then your growing belly

"Can't leave without telling our baby goodbye."

You adore how much he says that - our baby - and how much he's already devoted to being a dad

On your difficult pregnancy days, he would always be by your side to talk to you and tell you jokes until you were smiling again

Love At First Sight

From the moment your daughter was born, he was wrapped around her little finger

"She's so beautiful. Look what we made. No growth chamber or anything."

You jokingly reminded him that that was technically your role

"Oh...right. Of course. Great job! Not a single crack in the jar. Better than Kamino!"

In the weeks after your daughter was born, it was a battle to get Hardcase to put her down, literally

"Where I go, she goes."

Many naptimes were spent on her daddy's chest because he simply didn't want to let her out of his sight

(Sorry to report that diapers are you division, though. You just can't put your poor darlings through that again...)

Seeing him dote on your little girl so much only made you fall in love with him more; you were proud to call him the father of your children

Oh yes, children. You weren't done adding to the ranks of your little battalion, and neither was your cyare

A year and a half later, you gave birth to not one, but two sons

More than a few tears were shed as Hardcase held the twins in his arms

You better believe he was telling everyone about it too, calling many of his brothers to share the news before you even left the hospital

("We're doomed" - Fives again, probably)

How do you do, fellow kids?

Hardcase is a child himself at heart, which means he is your children's first and favorite best friend

Whatever they're interested in, you can bet he's into it too

He watches more children's holos with them than you do, and you're the one who stays home

Seriously, he knows all the words to the theme songs, the lore for each show, and the powers and skills of every character - it's a big thing that he and the kids bond over

Boredom is not a word in your house

Whatever your children ask for, Hardcase ensures they get (within reason)

He's likely getting something for himself too, especially if it's sweets

They want to build model starships? He's first in line at the market in the morning to get the kits

Your daughter wants to play dolls? You better believe her daddy is on that floor doing the right voices and following the story lines (and maybe causing the occasional pretend explosion or starship crash because he lives for the Drama™)

They all want to turn the livingroom into a battlefield to fight imaginary droids? Guess who their commander is

"Why not promote myself? I earned it!"- Hardcase when you teasingly pointed out his new rank

You enjoy getting in on the fun too and being the Zillo Beast attacking the barracks or the queen taken hostage that the dashing commander and his squad have to rescue from a den of bounty hunters

I cannot stress this enough: ANTICS

Pillow fights and roughhousing? HE probably started it

He's taking the fall for it too, because he'd rather face a firing squad than see any of his little troopers in trouble

In the everyday domestic disputes, discipline obviously begins and ends with you

You had to convince him that timeouts were not equivalent to capital punishment

Even then, you have to stop him from letting the kids out early

Bed times? What are those?

Speaking of bed, you had to invest in a bigger one because your beloved couldn't bear sending any of the kids away when they wanted to sleep with mom and dad

Seriously, he cannot say no to his babies

No night is complete with out tickle fights, either

Despite often having a foot in your ribs (which doesn't always belong to a child), you actually love sleeping with your family near and wouldn't have it any other way

Exception: the kids get sent to their own beds immediately when mommy wants a tickle fight with daddy. Commander's orders.

It's not only fun and games

With a little coaching from you, Hardcase was able to find balance between work and play, especially as the kids entered adolescence

It's not his strong suit, but he genuinely tries to help them with their academy studies (eventually they learn to go to you first; dad is for times of desperation only)

He is, however, at the ready any time they need a good joke or exciting story to brighten their day and banish their stress

Family holo night is mandatory

There's usually bickering over what to watch - i.e. your partner and offspring are disputing which loud, brightly-colored animated holo to put on - but diplomacy resumes as soon you bring the snacks out

Sometimes you just can't help but laugh and watch the chaos

All of your children certainly inherited their father's bold enthusiasm for life and passionate courage

When your daughter began to experience bullying at academy for standing up for a friend, Hardcase wasted no time expressing how proud he was of her for doing what's right

He was equally supportive of the boys when they later showed interest in weapons training and possible careers in the military

Just as when they were younger, he is always there for them to make them smile and feel secure and loved

There's no limit to what Hardcase will do for his family, and you wouldn't trade one day of your beautiful, whirlwind life with him for anything in the galaxy

[tears-of-boredom]

My fellow followers,

in these, troublesome times, honesty and truth are more valuable than any jewels. that is why im standing here today, in front of you all, during this lovely evening.

i believe that a blog's values are upheld by its followers, first and foremost, though it is the leaders that create those values firsthand.

i, as the biggest figure head of this blog, am the first person people expect to uphold these values. This. is why I am here today.

Most of you have probably heard the, allegations, that have been thrown around recently. these were not taken lightly by my peers, though i expect nothing less of such an excellent leadership. in my, humble, opinion, every accusation and allegation should be treated with the appropriate gravitas it deserves.

for those of you who happen to not be aware of the situation, i will be sure to explain the events as we go through them.

My fellow followers, I would like to start by simply saying this: I am not stupid, never have been.. But alas, i am a mere human, and, like all humans im sure, i experience the occasional boust of overconfidence in my abilities. this is natural for us humans.

so, as i went to work today, it was not stupidity, that lead me to the events that happened, but it was my self-assuredness.

as i searched for the eggs, i was being most delicate with them, aware of the many practical jokes that are made about them.

i had picked up a plastic bowl as a container for the eggs. small enough to manage with my left hand alone, but big enough, for the eggs. this choice was the optimal way to do things, at least until I'd rinsed the eggs.

for the trip back, i had gathered my bucket to my right hand, and the egg bowl to my left. when i reached the front door, i started to doubt my choice of egg container.

see, i leave my boots outside, thus, it was the time to remove them. i manage to do this without my hands, sure, but like many times before, the sock on my left foot went with the boot. i now needed two free hands to put the sock back. all was still well, as i simply put both the bucket and the egg basket on the porch next to me.

when i had reunited my dear sock with my foot, i was faced with a problem.

two steps from me was the front door, closed. id need to open it. however, i had already started picking up my bucket, and at this point i already felt tired of picking things up, only to place them down 10 seconds later. so how could i avoid having to bend down to pick up my bucket and egg bowl, after id opened the door.

my hands worked before my brain got the chance, and the heavy egg bowl was place on top of the empty bucket's lid. i knew what was going to happen once i fully picked up the bucket. the egg bowl would weigh on one side of the bucket more, it would start to slip as the bucket turned, and finally the bowl of eggs would fall to the ground.

i, however, was confident in my abilities. i could balance the bucket as i opened the door, and would quickly retreat my hand to steady the bucket, before it has the chance to rotate around the handle.

i made sure the egg bowl was in the middle of the bucket lid, to keep the balance, and lifted the bucket with its handle.

the bowl weighed a side of the bucket, the bucket turned around the handle, the bowl slid, and the bowl hit the ground.

and thusly, as you can see, my fellow followers. even the smartest human is still just a human. and humans make misjudgements. thank you.

[sleepsentry]

for the ask game, number 8: unpopular fandom opinion(s) regarding gravity falls. also, love your work. ^_^

Thank you! ^^

Of course these are based on my assumptions about what's popular and these are takes I haven't seen around in the wild.

This kinda just devolves into a headcanon list towards the end. haha ^^'

OK so hmmmm oh boy there's a lot:

Gravity Falls is NOT the best thing ever it just had a bunch of really talented people working on it who made it super fun. But it's far from a golden standard and I don't think it should be held up as a standard, that idea is reductive and creatively stifling.

I don't like comparing Amphibia, Owl House, Duck Tales (2017), Inside Job and many others to Gravity Falls. The similarities are superficial and those shows shouldn't be living in Gravity Fall's shadow. They deserve to stand tall and cast their own.

On that note Alex Hirsch is just some guy and I don't like his stuff on its own that much. He's not that funny or interesting to me, but he is just some guy. Hope he doesn't turn out to be a shitty dude. *shrug*

Stanley is overrated (I love him but jeez guys. He's not that endearing.)

Rick and Morty x Gravity Falls is a terrible crossover, tonally, technically and thematically. (I also am just very unimpressed by rick and morty in general)

Stanchez is bad. Rick can eat my shorts. Stan "deserves better". Obviously the fan creations are good. But they don't change my mind about the base idea.

The stans both did nothing wrong ever and I love them deeply without comparing them. (joke I know they fuck up, but they fuck up together.)

Fiddauthor is mid and boring. It comes off as amatonormative and people overall are very exclusionary over it wich is just being a dick and using a ship preference to justify it. (I dont mean to be mean but yeah, you guys are doing fine you can take some salt.)

Ford and Fidd are more like siblings than a couple.

Ford and Fidd both dismissed eachother and the miscommunication was on both of them. (Similair to stan and ford it's no one character's fault)

Ford and Fidd's relationship has more emotional weight viewed through the platonic lense of fidds being older than ford by two or three years and "adopting" him as a "little brother" in college, and how that followed them into their 30s even when the age gap had long become irrelevant. Rather than just "gay sad nerds have marital issues" as fun as that sounds.

Fiddleford is a crazy, scary, adorable, kind, stupid, genuis. This man contains multitudes, I try my best not to flanderize him into one over the other. He can be all those fun things.

Fiddlestan is inherently more funny and compelling than fiddauthor. (To me, to me.)

Fillbrick wasn't the devil incarnate he was just a shit dad, wich fair enough is very bad. Haha (idk there isn't enough of him for me to truly hate and I'd rather not assume the worst, I deal with abusive parents enough in my day to day I don't need to add one to my fav silly show haha)

Billford isn't "toxic" it's too bizarre for that, and much is left to be inferred about both characters and their dynamic. (Again, assuming the worst instead of something more fitting and fun) It's obviously bad for ford but I thought everyone hated him when he isn't nice to stan or being shipped with fidds so it should be cool. (Sarcasm)

Dipper and mabel fuck up equally and mabel is generally more empathetic and aware of the world around her than dipper who hyperfocuses. (Been there pal.)

Mabel is more similar to Ford and Dipper is more similar to Stan

Dipper is a good boy but a bit on the boring side for me. He's fine. I like him well enough.

Mabel is more relatable to me, but I relate to dip's anxiety disorder so bad.

Dipper would NOT grow up to look like Ford. He'd look like shermy or stan.

Mabel would grow up to be bigger and broader than dipper. She'd also be the one to get glasses and look more like ford. She's already halfway there with the hair and jumpers (sweaters)

Jokes about ford failing to impress girls are cringe, heteronormative and bad. And ford doesn't like anyone. (Bill is his own can of eldritch worms)

Dipper doesn't like girls in the way he thought he should and that's why his crush on wendy played out the way it did, it was never really about her, it was about his relationship to her. How she helped him find someone to admire, and was kinda his first real friend who he felt was cool and understood him, heteronormativity made him think he liked her romantically. He so obviously didn't that it hurts my soul.

Mabcifica is underrated as hell and more interesting than dipcifica. That being said.

I do ship dipcifica but in a queer way. You guys don't get it. They're queer.

The cis/heteronormative takes where pacifica and dipper have children together and dipper looks older but Pacifica is just her kid face on a sexy lady bod make me uncomfortable.

And that's why Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica could grow up into a polyamorous "Vee" relationship. [When one person is dating two people who aren't dating eachother, in this case obviously cause they're twins. It forms a "V" from Pacifica to the Pines twins ^^]

What was this ask originally about?

[legendsobsessions]

I am Eris. I am the leader of Team Ozone. I will not let anyone derail me from my goal.

If you are receiving this message it is because we believe you could be a great addition to our team.

We are Team Ozone, we mean you no harm. Our mission is for the good of all.

The term 'team' is mainly for aesthetics (and to get more attention, all publicity is good publicity) In truth, we are a revolution.

We wish to free humanity from the shackles our 'gods' keep us in.

Our Legendaries, our 'gods' hold no empathy for their creations. We are their playthings, nothing more than a sick joke and a form of entertainment.

So I ask you, do you truly wish to live under the tyrannical rule of those that pretend to care? Do you wish to live in fear of these creatures?

Or do you wish to rise up and fight against them?

It is your decision, we await your response.

@team-ozone-official

...Rather audacious of you to include a link to your very blog.

Perhaps your gods are different. In my experience, there are few issues that can't be solved with a pokemon battle, because the gods are (and always have been) pokemon too.

I don't fear them. I respect them, because the world would not function without many of them, but I certainly don't fear them.

I neither fear nor respect you.

You are aware of who you sent this message to, yes? Champion Cynthia of the Sinnoh region? Someone who has spent her whole life studying the very gods you wish to overthrow?

Only two teams have ever gained enough of a foothold in Sinnoh to make interregional news. I have dismantled countless others like yours, and I'm sure I'll dismantle countless more before my tenure as Champion is done.

Stay out of Sinnoh, and stay away from the gods that keep the universe functioning, unless you want to end up like Galactic.

You've made it clear that it is attention you want. This is the extent of what you will be getting from me, and it's already likely more than you deserve.

[thesand-snakes]

There's a photo that exists that I had forgotten about. I blocked it from my memory for twelve years. And then in February, Facebook regurgitated it and threw it at me, and I have not been able to stop being angry about it.

I hate that fucking photo. I hate it because I am so clearly fucking uncomfortable, I look like I want to crawl out of my own skin, and I remember everyone laughing when it was taken. He never took no for an answer when it came from me. Never listened when I said stop. The photo is fucking proof. And I hate it because the person who took it saw so little wrong with what was happening, she not only took that photo while giggling up a storm, she posted it and tagged me in it.

I removed the tag. But the photo still exists.

And if I ask why she did it now, I'm "dredging up the past," and "why didn't you say anything back then?"

I DID!

But my discomfort was and is a joke to them. I am a joke. And when I begged for help to make him stop, because he actually respected the two of them enough to listen, I was told I needed to stop reacting to the harassment.

"He only does it to get a reaction from you. If you stop reacting, he'll leave you alone."

Because it was MY fault. Everything was always my fault. Is my fault.

And when we got home from that trip and I climbed into my shower and scrubbed my skin raw so that I could erase the memory, and then adamantly refused to hang out with him ever again, I was the asshole. I was breaking up the friend group. Again. Because when people hurt me, it doesn't matter. It's not important enough to bother anyone else.

"Well, he's never done anything like that to me."

Great. So fucking thrilled for you. But he did do it to me, and he's a vile little man, and I don't believe in Hell anymore, so I can't say I hope he goes there, but I can say I hope he fucking ROTS.

But that's not how anyone else saw it. I mean, clearly I deserved the harassment, right? Because I was too weak to stand up for myself? So why should anyone else, right? And how dare I ask for help, anyway! Don't I know that asking people to "white knight" for me is fucking insane?!

I'm tired. I haven't slept in like three days. I want to scream or cry or something, but no one wants to hear that, and even if they did, I don't want to inconvenience anyone.

So I'll swallow it until my next therapy session, where my therapist will AGAIN tell me I REALLY need to start talking to people in my life again, and stop bottling shit up, and I'll AGAIN tell him that it's not that fucking simple. That I used to try, that I spent years trying, and being made to feel like a fucking inconvenience for wanting to talk. That I was raised being told by both friends and family that I'm too sensitive and I need to get my emotions in check and grow up. That my tears brought someone I thought was my friend fucking JOY for a year, and that now I can't let myself cry even when I'm alone. That I'm aware that it's stunted me. That swallowing those emotions and pushing them down and remaining stone faced has kept me from actually learning how to process them. That I understand that the bottling them up and feeling suppressed and depressed and so fucking alone led me to drinking too much and making stupid fucking mistakes and becoming the most annoying person anyone has ever known. And that, fuck, according to 80% of the people I have ever cared about, I was already, at least, most of the way there, so that just made it worse. And that it's why I'm even more alone than I was before. And fuck, I was so alone before.

That I'm not worth the time it takes to read this post.

That I know these things. And I can't unknow them.

And I have tried really, really fucking hard to be better. I stopped drinking earlier this year, but now my sleep schedule is fucked and insomnia is awful, and that's made it worse and it's a really fucking annoying cycle that I can't break. And that when I try to explain this cycle to people, they look at me like I'm an idiot and tell me to just step out of it like I'm not in a fucking whirlpool that's pulling me down and slowly drowning me.

And that picture...that fucking picture still exists. And it's eating me alive.

And I want it gone. Burned. Destroyed. Erased from the internet. But I also want it printed, and stored somewhere secure where I don't have to look at it. Because it's proof. It's proof that when I say that even when I ask for help, I don't get it, that when I fucking BEG for someone to take my fucking side for once, it doesn't happen. It's proof that all the times I've been told I'm "overdramatic" and that if I just asked for help instead of "just expecting it," maybe someone would help me. It's PROOF that that was never the fucking case.

It's proof that I'm worth even less than I make myself out to be.

And the worst part is, if either of the two people who were laughing while it was taken had been in my shoes, in that situation, I would have killed him. I could have killed him. I would have reached across the aisle and pulled them out of that situation before it ever got that far. I sure as fuck never would have taken a photo.

But because it was me...

[violue]

I honestly can't tell if this post is an "obvious troll" or if I'm just hoping it is. There's a very good chance it's fake but I had to share it.

POST TEXT:

I'm sure most have heard of the CW show "supernatural". About two brothers who fight demons and monsters.

My sister was a huge fan while the show was airing. Engaged in all areas of the fandom, like, insane super fan. I never really got into it like she did but was still involved in fandom spaces.

Anyway, no beating around the bush, she was hugely into wincest (the romantic and sexual relationship between the two brothers). Wrote fic, edited youtube videos, etc. She even made like a wincest tumblr series with her ex girlfriend roleplaying as the two characters.

So you can imagine my shock when she gave birth to twins this past month and announced their names as Sam & Dean.

I was a little taken aback but hoped somewhere that it was a joke. They have three older kids who also have fandom names (not supernatural necessarily, but across fandoms) and so I wasn't really holding up hope.

I called her up and asked what the boys names really were and she informed me they were, in fact, called Sam & Dean.

I told her it was really fucking weird and she told me it didn't matter because they weren't real and she didn't actually condone incest.

I called her a freak and said it wasn't normal or fair to the boys. What if they found out, you know?

She told me I was overreacting and to either support her bringing the babied into the world or leave her alone.

I left it at that & my mom later text me to ask what was going on. She knows my sister used to ship the brothers so I told her and she was quiet but ended up telling me that it wasn't the same and I needed to apologise because she was upset.

I disagree. I think her choice was horrible and she deserves to feel shamed for it.

So, AITA? Am I actually in the wrong here? I know she's struggling right now, but still.

ETA; Additional information; They have a son called Severus and they seem to be encouraging "snape" behaviours in him (keeping his hair long, forcing him into like, chemistry summer camps and shit). Makes me feel like they're living vicariously through their kids or something.

comment: Lucifer and Castiel are strange to name kids, Sam and Dean not so much.

OP reply: Sam's middle name is Lucifer! They were talking aboht Castiel for their firstborn but ended up naming him something else.

comment: What did they name the two girls, who did they name them for?

OP reply: Cersei & Katniss. I don't know what their "plan" is for Cersei but Katniss has already got her little toy archery kits lol.

comment: INFO: is her partner aware of her incestuous fandom?

OP reply: I think so. I'm pretty sure they met on tumblr.

post link

[generalsmemories]

hello jing yuan's wife!! congrats on 1k followers! you very much deserved it 😊 may i please request for jing yuan with angst scenario #5? thank you in advance!

Stubbornness

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompt used: needing to go to an event after a party and having to pretend as if they aren’t angry with one another the entire time || 1k event

✧ contents: established relationship, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption, arguments cause yeehaw, however happy ending cause they are functioning adults, mentions of other characters

✧ a/n: the amount of times ya'll have called me jing yuan's wife at this point HAHAH. anyway! first drabble to kickstart the 1k event is a sort of angsty one because why not but ya'll remember that one book where the sanctus medicus had 5 operations to try and get rid of jing yuan? yeah have that back in mind. - also not beta-read but who is surprised at this point LMFAO

"... You could've died."

Jing Yuan snorts, adjusting the bracers on his forearms without even sparing you a glance, "But I'm here right now breathing, aren't I?" he quips back instead, almost sounding amused at your worry.

It infuriates you. It baffles you how little he truly cared about the situation and at the severity of it. The hair you had for once tried to style already messy by the amount of times you've ran a hand through it out of stress or frustration the past two hours.

You're so glad you made Yanqing leave earlier to assist where it was necessary.

"Do you honestly see this as a mere joke, Jing Yuan?" you sneer, arms crossed whilst leaning one side against the doorframe. He must already know what you're referring to, being that you had finally opened the report handed to you from today - a report telling that there was yet another attempt on his life.

Another attempt that he didn't want to tell you about.

"Quite the contrary," he says, turning around to finally face you. His smile is still present on his lips which only serves to make you more agitated, "Nothing happened as you can see, and I'm perfectly fine. As such I didn't see the need to tell you about it because nothing happened. I wasn't even at the Artisanship Commission like they thought-"

"Because you got delayed."

He sighs, crossing his arms as well and cocking his head to the side, "Dear, with the amount you're worrying about me it makes me believe you have no trust in my capabilities to protect myself. Am I right to assume that?" he questions, his smile fading a bit after he had asked.

"Where the hell did you even get that from- Can I not worry about my lovers safety even when I'm aware of his swordmanship?" you ask, clicking your tongue whilst running yet another hand through your strands.

"And I'm telling you that it is a needless worry-"

"You're fucking unbelievable," you scoff, turning around to head for the entrance of your home, Jing Yuan quirking an eyebrow at your retreating form, "Oh? You're not going to nag at me further?" he asks, his tone may be lighthearted, but even you can pick out the slight bite it has to it.

"Even looking at you right now makes me want to punch you. The fact that you can't even see where I'm coming from is unbelievable enough, so fine! I won't worry more about our dear general," you bite back, slamming the door shut once you're at the other side.

You can come up with an excuse as to why the two of you arrive separately - it wouldn't be the first time after all.

"You must be quite delighted that the expedition finished earlier than planned, right [Name]?" Master Gongshu asks, handing you a glass and immediately clinking his own against it before taking a sip, "Even the tiny lieutenant made more of a name to himself out there."

You snicker, swirling the contents of the drink before you, stealing a brief glance over at Jing Yuan who is surrounded himself, "Indeed, I'm quite relieved to see him and Yanqing safely return to the Luofu."

Even though there was immediately another attempt on his life the moment he stepped one foot back onboard.

"But say, aren't you a bit saddened that the general haven't been by your side as much today? He's practically surrounded by the other commissioners and knights," master Gongshu points out, to which you only shake your head, "Why of course not, as long as I know that my husband is safe - I wouldn't have to worry about anything," you say - a bit louder than needed.

You know Jing Yuan heard you.

He kept his attention solely on the people before him though, not even sparing you a glance.

The sight makes you let out another loud sigh, bringing the glass to your lips only to immediately drink it in one gulp, Master Gongshu snickering beside you while calling another waiter over, "Oho, I see you're rearing to go so early! This is indeed what a celebration feast is about!" Master Gonshu roars, his laughter having been a bit too loud to attract the attention of other people, who merely snickered at his own energy.

Jing Yuan only narrowed his eyes, eyebrows furrowing in displeasure at your comment. It seems like you still haven't cooled down. But as soon as he heard his name get called, he was all smiles again, "Aren't you worried that [Name] is going to drink too much, general?" a solider jokingly asked, raising his own glass to have a toast with the general. Jing Yuan merely let out a low chuckle, "Of course not, and even if they were to, I'm here to take care of them."

At this point, the master diviner had made herself to your side with a few snacks - just in time to see your expression twist for a split second upon hearing what Jing Yuan said, letting out a laugh yourself, "Oh, don't worry dear. I know how to take care of myself, so there's no need for you to needlessly worry like this!"

She can practically sense the animosity between you two that no one else in the room has apparently picked up on.

But Fu Xuan does admit that seeing Jing Yuan's perfectly crafted smile twitch a bit in annoyance while his eyebrows furrowed a tiny bit did bring her satisfaction - a taste of his own medicine.

So while master Gongshu have wandered off to get a refill, she makes her way over to you with a raised eyebrow, "Trouble in paradise?" she asks lowly, you merely huff in return - turning around to lean on the fence, staring at the various starskiffs in the air, "... No."

"I applaud you for still wanting to lie in front of me," Fu Xuan comments, placing the tray of various snacks beside you for your perusal - you don't grab anything, already lost in thought.

"Is it a needless worry?" you end up asking, Fu Xuan having leaned against the fence herself while having her body turned to face you, "About what? His safety? Yes and no."

"Gee, that helps a lot."

"He's a general, [Name]. An attempt on his life is unfortunately common sense, moreso at this time too being that he had just returned from an expedition and would be by some standards - exhausted and have his senses dulled."

"So why-"

"But it's also because he is a general that precautions are taken. Even if he got delayed or not before coming to the Artisanship Commission, the Cloud Knights stationed had already intercepted the attempt - he would've still been safe."

You bite your tongue to prevent yourself from blurting anything more. In hindsight you were perfectly aware that Jing Yuan would be fine - but you're pretty sure there's not a single lover out there who would not worry about their own husbands' safety if his head had once again been targeted - even if it had been yet another failed attempt.

Before you can admit your wrongdoings to Fu Xuan, you feel an arm slither around your waist - delicate lips pressing against your temple, and from the faint breath Jing Yuan lets out, you can tell he's had a few more to drink than you in the span of your conversation with Fu Xuan.

"... I thought you didn't like to drink that much," you say softly, turning around in his hold only to be met with a smile, "And I thought you weren't going to speak to me?" he whispers back. You merely huff and let his head fall down to your shoulder, sending Fu Xuan a pleading gaze to which she immediately gets without you needing to say anything more - walking over to the crowd of onlookers to step in for both you and Jing Yuan.

"I am still mad," you finally utter after a few minutes of silence between the two of you.

"Whatever can I do to make my beloved not mad at me then?" he asks back in a whisper, careful to not let anyone else hear the two of you. You can tell from your peripheral vision that he's turned his head to face you, although you keep your gaze facing forward.

"Admit you were wrong," you huff, Jing Yuan letting out a low chuckle at how you're still holding onto that stubborness, "I'm pretty sure I saw that you were about to admit that you were wrong to the master diviner, no?"

You don't answer, merely looking away in a silent defiance. The sight making Jing Yuan sigh in amusement, "Alright, I'm sorry dear. I'll make sure to tell you in the future whenever I feel something amiss," he says in the end - but before you can accept that apology, he quickly adds on.

"In return, I do hope you tell me whenever the disciples also target you."

.... Oh.

"... You know you could've made me inform you in any other way than having us argue?" you state, back to your moody self - the switch in mood making your husband laugh, "Not such a great feeling being left in the dark, is it?" he reminds you - and you hate how effective this sort of method is.

So your only reply is to wrap your arms around his waist, "I'm sorry," You can feel his body shake with laughter, his own arms wrapping around your shoulders before you feel his lips pressing themselves at the top of your head, "Now stop being mad, because these few hours were quite tortuous for me."

"You just say that because I usually do all the talking."

"Precisely."

struggled with that ending for 3 days man.

[drill-teeth]

Not as brief as I thought I would keep it and late follow up to my “don’t be mean about others’ appearance + other things they can’t control” post because even though I have notes turned off, I peeked in the notes and noticed a bit of a theme. So let me make two things crystal clear.

1. Yes I am aware some people are just going to be mean anyway whether they see my tumblr post or not. That post was largely to vent out frustration and maybe change the minds of a few people who aren’t straight up malicious and thinking about this sort of thing wrong.

2. I was quite honestly not talking about interactions that are largely not publicly shared. And by not public I mean stuff you say and do with your friends irl or in discord servers or whatever. That post was not mainly about small group interactions. If you and/or your friends don’t mind ugly/virgin/whatever jokes with each other that is actually fine. Because you’ve agreed to say that stuff with each other, and you’re approaching each other with a good faith understanding. Of course if someone you know doesn’t like a joke, don’t be an ass and act like they HAVE to take it. But what I was mainly talking about was public shaming, especially online.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s when someone (sometimes deserving, sometimes not) is made very public online for behavior that a lot of people disapprove of. And of course if they are even slightly conventionally unattractive, people will lunge at that feature in their comments for weeks. It’ll be relentless pointing out of this “ugly” feature as if people have identified a villain character design trait and like.

First of all, if the behavior is heinous, that’s what the public should be focused on. The horrible thing they did. Not whether or not the person is fat or whatever.

And two if the behavior is heinous, your comments are not going to be absorbed by that person. They’re not going to care what you think about their appearance because odds are people have been mad at them before and have said that before. You’re just going to be flooding the feeds of people who have that feature and didn’t do anything wrong with dozens of “look at this bald moron” jokes or whatever. Fanning the flames of the already roaring fire of “I have every right to make fun of features of bad people, all ugly people are just one bad deed of a peer away from being body shamed” that exists.

And three. In the case of not heinous behavior (you really should fact check call out posts the best you can), then you’re literally just publicly bullying and humiliating someone online for no reason with the added consequence of that fanning the flames of body shaming culture thing.

[epickiya722]

REACTIONS TO EPISODE 12 - THREADS OF HOPE

We're halfway there, folks!

The usual, jokes, guesses, pictures, fangirling over characters.

LAST EPISODE'S REACTIONS

Getting a recap, huh? You know since it is the halfway mark of the season!

Oooh, but why did they have to remind me about Crust?

Izuku sits like me. That has nothing to do with anything, but I sit just like that... has he ever actually criss-cross applesauce? Like, he sits like that a lot.

I'm sorry, I just be noticing things...

Okay, Best Jeanist! Man's coming from the plane with the fibers!! Let's go!!

Imagine being Dabi. Like you just told Japan that Hawks killed Best Jeanist and then not even an hour after the video has been up, you see Best Jeanist coming at you. You unintentionally got proven to be lying about some details. You know how mad I would be?

"I just told everybody..." and see? You should just spilled your own damn business. You should have just expose Endeavor. It would have had the same effect... maybe... I don't know!

Present Mic coming in with the quirk narration! He got a lot of roles in this story...

Aw, Bakugou does care!

"That body was real." You know what, and I thought about this a lot, has anyone in this story realizes that because of how evolved the world has become that anything is possible? Like... it didn't occur to Dabi that maybe Best Jeanist's death could have been faked?

Oooh, love the fire!!

I'M SORRY, the fact that Spinner thought to BITE Tomura to wake him will always be funny to me. 🤣🤣🤣 Especially, when Nejire comes and it's "NO, NO, CRAP! AYO WAKE UP!!"

DABI, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO NEJIRE-CHAN?! WHY?! FIGHT ME!!

Okay, but clap it up for that scream! Yuki Kaji, always serving with his voice acting!

Also Hiro Shimono for Dabi's laughter!! King!!

Looking like some fire demon...

Aw shit, he's waking up.

WAIT!! BURNIN CAN ALSO MAKE WEAPONS LIKE THAT OUT OF HER HAIR?! OMG!!

OH! OH! HE'S COMING!! I KNOW WHO IS MAKING A COMEBACK AND...

HE'S HERE!!! AAAAAAHHH!!! THE ONE, THE ONLY, LEMILLION!!!! 💛💛💛💛

Isn't that that worm from Men in Black 2?

As much as Dabi can hate Endeavor, which is justified, him putting his siblings in danger is just... maybe because I am an eldest sibling that I feel this way. I can hate my parents all I want but using my siblings who are innocent and victims just like me to hurt my parents? Could not be me.

"I don't feel a thing anymore." You. Are. A. Liar!!! Because if you didn't you wouldn't have cared about Twice dying and so on! Nice try!

AND ENDEAVOR JUST STANDING THERE!!

THANK YOU, LEMILLION FOR COMING IN CLUTCH!!! BEST BOY!!! 💛💛💛🌟🌟🌟

I'M SO GLAD BEST JEANIST & LEMILLION GOT IT THIS TIME! THEY DESERVE IT FOR THIS EPISODE!

Mirio is like "nah, fam, six months is too long for me, I'm going to help and you will not stop me".

Aaaw, Eri! And her little cute determined face! Wanting to help out big bro Mirio! Making that my wallpaper!

"That is the reason I started training." Y'all, I am crying! How can someone be so precious?!

OKAY, MY BOY BAKUGOU!!! COMING IN WITH THE NEW SPARKS!!!

HE'S GONNA SAY IT!! HE'S GONNA SAY IT!!

"GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT!!!" HE SAID IT!!!!

Spinner and Mr. Compress, I know you're not calling his name cringy. One, that is a child. Two, one of you decided POLKA DOTS was a fabulous idea of a villain outfit and the other decided to wear a top hat. Also, kinda of responsible for Midnight, so... shush! SHUSH IT!!! I like you both, but shush it, damn it!

That exchange between Bakugou and Mirio. Ha, never change, boys. 😆

I know that's his big brother, but I would not let him hug me after he had made it aware he wants to kill me.

"You're the pitiful one." That is just like a younger sibling. I would know.

BLACKWHIP: FROPPY STYLE!!

"Stay out of our family affair." This is the same guy who just blasted his family business on air. That is hilarious! 🤣

Actually, you know what, Izuku was already in the family business because of Shoto. That is also funny. Like Dabi, my guy, too late. He's already on the Christmas card.

"Todoroki is a precious friend!" STOP PLUCKING AT MY HEARTSTRINGS!! 💚

IT'S DANGER SENSE!!!

FINALLY HE DOES SOMETHING!!

FINALLY HE PASSES OUT!!! SEE, THE SEDATIVE DID WORK!! THANK YOU, HERO STUDENTS!! AND MT. LADY!

*shows Miruko* 😭😭😭😫😫😫 Like that? I don't wanna see it again...

Did she have a splinter in her... now who drew that?

DID THEY HAVE TO SHOW MIDNIGHT?!

I love that Iida calls Bakugou by his full hero name. That's the class rep... THAT WE LOVE!!

"How could you get yourself defeated?" I mean, man's got jumped.

THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT THAT SPINNER FACE!

OH, IT'S MR. COMPRESS' TIME TO SHINE NEXT EPISODE?! LET'S GO!

Okay, but let's applaud Best Jeanist for coming in because the guy was really holding up while missing... I forgot which organ, so no wonder he was bleeding out!

[talesofmetalandmagic]

“There���s more of them everyday, my Emperor”

Marshall Adanna and Azir watch from atop the railings, walking side by side in the warmth of the morrow as refugees and nomads pour into the walls of the old Capital.

"Soon we'll not know where to put them"

"Is this a challenge?" he asks, half-joking. She steps back, as she doesn't know how to respond. Following orders is easy, as is bringing in commands, but chatting with a God is a whole another deal.

"I s'pose."

"And I shall respond and win. We'll tear down the walled up rooms, build makeshifts shelters in the gardens... even the old temples will host beds and cots"

"Not the temples..." Adanna exhales, but Azir's hand meets her shoulder. "The old Gods won't be upset at having to host their people in need. Or may they worth crumble like a house built on sand."

He's always been... peculiar, Adanna thinks. Even in a more humble disposition, he never does anything halfway.

“A lot of them are ill. Xerath rampages through the lands with a new trick every day." And am I most glad I'm not there to be tested upon. "They burn in fever. Many are children.”

And it’s as if someone had just shot Azir with an arrow to the back.

“Ch… children?”

“Yes, resplendent one. Children. Many of them parentless. The youngest I've seen was a few months at best." Azir holds onto the railing so tightly the stone crumbles in his mighty hold, and Adanna looks at his shrouded face as if to peer through his skull. "Does this upset you?"

A harsh moment of silence follows. Then he lets go of the railing, wipes his hands on his skirt and pulls up his cowl.

"Where are they?"

Azir, as an Emperor, has done many unprecedented things.

He's Ascended without being deemed as worthy by the proper authorities. He's passed reforms to require the conquered slaves with three square meals a day, fine and imprison anyone who used torture and corporal punishment, forbid the removal of names – at least in private – and provide children with compulsory education.

Which [let it be clear as day] still wasn't enough because it was not freedom. It was unprecedented but not quite enough.

And, as deserved payback, he's been unprecedentedly taken prisoner after Ascension, taken down a peg, humiliated, humbled and destitute in anything but title.

Made aware of the weight of his mistakes and driven to listen and learn in a way his lofty predecessors couldn't possibly fathom, he follows on the road of unprecedented behavior by caring first-hand for the poor people in need.

Not just empty charity or speeches of platitude. He's there, among the commoners, dressed in a practical tunic and with no jewels except his coronet.

The more stern imperialists remain aghast as he walks into the tents, speaking to each of the people present, braving the stench of disease and the uneasy crowd – until at last, greeted by the half-awake gaggle of sick children, does he sit.

"Ny name is Azir", he says. "Now each one of you will tell me yours."

To one child, he tells glorious legends of battle. To another he sings a gentle song about home, remembrance and family. To a small child, he produces the same pigeon noises his Imani loved so. Their laughter is as sweet.

He sings again later that evening, armed with a precious lute procured by Sivir. And the following e evening the lutes are two, as Nasus has joined him. He's not a fan of playing in public, but it's less embarrassing when there's two of them.

Not everything he does relates to children, and is even that adorable. He cares for the wounded tirelessly, gently. Washing festered wounds, popping and washing blisters, damping foreheads and faces, emptying chamber pots. After a few days, his cream cloak gets so stained in blood, fluids and medicines he ditches it, even though it's a comfort outfit for his sore body, and the removal of his shawl – necessary to see and be seen – was already enough to make him feel more bare.

Sometimes they fall asleep and never wake up, even children who could barely speak. And there he is: covering the bodies, cuddling them as if they could feel him, preparing them for their final ritual – every minute Shuriman culture has their own tradition for burial, some burn their dead, some bury them, some let them sink into the waters of life, and he needs notes to remember them all, written in a small notebook he carries on his belt – and most of all holding onto the grieving dear ones, comforting them in his warm feathered embraces.

And he has good reasons to relate.

"My poor child... there, there. You won't be lost. I lost my mama too in my youth, you know?" "Amhina? My sister was called that too. I'm so sorry, dearest young one." "My own son loved senet as well. I too still keep the pieces. I can have it made into a necklace, if it helps grieve.”

And even...

"Was he your father, dearest?" "No. He was my uncle, but he was like a father to me." "I have one too. They're the most precious".

When children die it's the most painful. He makes it a point to bury and burn them with their toys whenever possible, hugging their small bodies as if they could feel his warmth. When it comes to him that grieving parents like him need community to heal, he organizes a space to talk about loss and discuss it. He pays a local troupe of jesters that came into his gates to entertain the children in his stead. Sells some of the prized jewels to foreign buyers to sustain them. Organizes tours to the sea for the children who've never seen it.

And in all that, he still finds scraps of time to make Nasus his evening tisane, pay his weekly visits to Renekton and care for Hathor.

I order you to rest, he tells his Curator. Don't talk back to me. I'll make sure you don't carry too much.

Being a black pot is also very Azir.

Not everybody appreciates his effort. The most disappointed in him are those who, back in the day, would have bled for imperial grace.

"An Emperor touching such foul things... he's defaced"

"I've seen him wipe vomit yesterday. Has Azir forgotten himself?"

"What kind of a God is he?"

"He's no savior"

And the worst of them all. "We should have listened to the Magus Ascended!"

Azir can hear those whispers as clear as day. They gnaw at his mind like the maggots that once infested him, and the more he tries to focus on work to keep it out, the more it bites him.

You're not the Emperor anymore, someone says. A voice metallic, stern, poised.

And he totters to think about it. His crown is a coronet of quartz and stone, more fit for a modest trader in an elegant occasion than for the Ruler of All. He hasn't sat on a throne for the Sun Disc knows when. People don't bow to him when he steps into the room, and the ceremonial speak is never heard except in plays. When he rips his skirt during his trots he sows it himself. When a grieving parent, whom he was to carry put of a room to so their cries wouldn't frighten the children, slaps him in the face in a fit of anger, their hand doesn't fall from their wrist.

And he brews tea.

Perhaps I should... no, I can't. I'll return to the throne once it's done and rule as required. I cannot do this. Not in my father's home.

[axos-abyss]

Hang Out (700ish words)

It’s been five minutes since I knocked to get my friends to let me in. I arrived ten minutes late, which was around fifteen minutes early with these guys. I considered opening a can of soda to pass the time. Right before I opened the container to dig out a can, I heard the door creek open.

With his usual smile, Roy opened the door and let me in. I pushed past him before he got to greet me because I never put down the sodas. I rushed to the kitchen and slammed them on the nearest counter. I heard a quick chuckle behind me as he said “Seems like somebody is in a hurry to watch their fantasy team score no points.”

I really did not give a rats' ass about the fantasy league they ran. It was only in our friend group, no money was wagered, and the scoring was a bastardized version of official scoring systems. Plus, I was more of a soccer guy myself anyway. Whenever it came around to drafting up a team, I just picked what I had to and kept moving on. The league didn’t matter to anyone really, it was just an excuse to hang out whenever we could.

Looking out from the kitchen, I saw that Shawn and Clint had already made themselves comfortable on the couch. They made sure to sit as far away from each other as possible, to minimize awkward contact, and to maximize the amount of time each of them had if the other decided they deserved to be hit. I decided to grab myself a bowl of assorted Chinese food and join them in my usual spot in the corner of the couch.

“Dude, Alex, what the fuck? Not even a hey or a howdy doo?” Roy jested as he walked over to the whiteboard we had set up, trying to be sneaky as he removed a couple of points from Shawn’s team. 

The other two were occupied with the touchdown that just happened, so I had a few seconds to think of a response. Instead of anything witty, I simply admitted, “I was never told to, and when did you ever care about a proper greeting?” 

“Alex, saying hi is not a proper greeting, it’s basic human procedure you machine.” Shawn said, butting in. He had the usual straight face to try and fool me that he was being serious, forgetting to watch his tone. It only lasted a few seconds, because Shawn could not hold that face for more than a few seconds before bursting out laughing.

Right then, everything felt more real than it usually does. The plunge into self awareness always left me a little shocked, but I have gotten used to it over time. I quickly look to my right, and follow the strings that are attached to me. My head always follows them from where they end in my neck, to the hands they come from. I move my head slightly up, and stare myself in the face. 

He is sitting over by the table we usually have our post-game chats at, slightly hunched over. I can see the whiteboard that is supposed to be next to Roy hung up on the wall, with a season's worth of information written on it. I stare at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to check over his shoulders, to notice his strings that led to the doorway. My greatest fears come true, as he never does. My eyes tear up a little bit. 

“Alex buddy, you get burned so bad you lose all your brain cells or something?” asks Clint, as I am snapped back to reality. The exit of those moments is always physically easier, but never mentally.

I simply turn to him and my mouth apologizes, saying that I thought I spotted a fly. I crack a quick joke and say to get back to the game, because I just want to move on and not stay on the subject. I notice out loud that my quarterback, whatever his name is, just made an amazing play. Everyone else nods and makes a couple more remarks as they turn their heads to enjoy the game.