#I am also on my way to the library
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I love that the book of bill is convincing all of us to read the full Great Gatsby
#I am also on my way to the library#shhhhhh#book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#bill cipher#billford#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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anne rice said "erotica", the fans said "oh hm this is horror and abuse! let's turn this into a deeply upsetting character study about how abuse can create cruel people who perpetuate cycles."
iwtv (2022) writers said "this is a literal fucking saw trap" the fans said "but what if they were in love <3"
#iwtv#amc iwtv#the vampire chronicles#devils minion#daniel molloy#armand#just finished “the spiral is unspooling” and oh god !#don't want to read the vampire armand#but it's also available through my local public library so im gonna read it and then go oh god!#marius. when i catch you marius. MARIUS WHEN I CATCH YOU MARIUS#sorry idc if you're a 2000 year old vampire who constantly feeds on the blood of akasha#im tearing you limb from limb#im ripping your throat out#im actually burning you alive#the things im doing to marius are horrifying in a deeply unsexy way.#there is nothing sexy about the war crimes i am about to inflict on this freak (derogatory)
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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Hmm....how hard can large scale mosaic possibly be? I feel like my plans for the room I'm working on could use something really shiny and impactful and maybe I want to make a fold-down cutting table and maybe I want to do it out of mosaic, even though that will be ungodly heavy.
It's a fun idea. I'm not sure if it's a good idea.
I haven't done mosaic since a one-off high school art class but I feel like the component skills are ones I already have, sooooo....
I have been keeping to a blue and gold celestial theme for both my guest room and my art workspaces, because if and when I move those spaces are likely to be combined. Cutting table, even though it would be for a different room, falls in the same vein, so I'm thinking something with a nice dark night sky and maybe some branches or leaves...
#if nothing else#I am likely to bleed less on my project than I did on the one in high school.#i sliced my arm open and bled profusely and never quite got all of it out#the third bedroom in my house is basically a junk room rn because the layout is awful#and i have been rotating that room in my head for weeks trying to see how it fits together in a functional way#it's going to still be storage but also my digital workspace/home for my modern tools#aka four ink printers#the laminator the 3d printer the laser engraver the cutting mats the paper storage#and also random crap like luggage and wrapping paper.#i think im settling on a library/bindery vibe#so loooots of built ins.#on a budget level i cannot afford to start this room for a while yet#and the same is also true on a time management scale#but for each project like this I tend to prefer to have everything fully realized in my head before i start#so im doing that now#mentally putting together lumber cut lists and figuring out if im going to have to buy a jigsaw
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Binah encourages you, silently, during difficult work. she knows how diligent you are. she's seen you working hour after hour, late, late, late, for nights on end. the other agents tend to retire after dinner. not you, always at your desk organizing documents or filling out papers. there's never nothing to be done in such a facility. it's a bit lonely being in such an empty room, the only light shining over your spot as your pen scratches away at the parchment. perhaps it is necessary, loneliness. why else would you still be working, instead of spending time with your coworkers. you try not to think about it. the building is already cold enough. no room left for those types of thoughts clogging up your head.
the Sephirah of Extraction watches you quietly, the gold of her earring glinting as she barely tilts her head. her footsteps are nearly silent, yet you can still hear them. anyone worth their salt in Extraction knows the sound of Binah's footsteps. don't they? perhaps not, after all. you've seen your coworkers jump in alarm when you stayed perfectly at ease. she stands next to you, calmly examining what you've done with a critical eye before nodding. you won't get a verbal word of praise. she's not quite soft enough for that yet, her heart tangled up in sharp thorns that you're slowly picking apart. but her hand briefly comes up to rest on your head before pulling away, and it's like she's just given you the fondest compliment.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#i finished my work for today#i am a winner#i have also been beset by a dry cough#it is intriguing#my throat does not hurt yet#it shall stay that way#if it knows what is good for it
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library school is an unethical scam and I am 100% serious about that
#this program was god awful and I don’t even think it was particularly unique in its shiftiness#so!#cyanide#the library profession is also a related scam#I love libraries and I am engaged in extreme violent hatred for the ways in which they manifest#biting and maiming and biting#upset gurgling intensifies#cyanoupdates#brought to you by: my graduation portfolio which is so absurdly badly designed as to be insulting#aagagagshhhfhfhfhf#*shittiness but it’s too late to go back and edit that tag so
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“will you come with me, sporus?”
prints + ig
#i made this last summer at 2am but i procrastinated because being sincere scares me </3#but i am proud of this#i used my school's library to read satyricon KDNDHJDKD#i know the bottom quote is said by petronius but his themes are relevant so alas#anyways. it all comes to an end tonight and i am terrified.#also. fuck nick br*un i made this art way back last august.#i’m posting this now bc i’m still proud of it and i’m not letting the pos think he’s important enough to ruin my enjoyment of the show but#do know i do not support him but if that stance makes no sense i’ll take it down#tomgreg#succession#my art
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i washed my hair n took a walk yesterday for the first time in a while so i am feeling unstoppable like maybe i will turn around my life this week wish me luck !
#that sounds like nothing but if u guys could see the way i have been living for like the past month😭 i can barely leave my room n the eatin#situation is so bad. there’s no place to go but up like! like the koala from sing said#i’m going to try to motivate myself to walk everyday n go to the library n clean my room n i have to go grocery shopping n maybe i will do#that animal crossing puzzle i have😭#i’m going to delete the tumblr app n try not to use my phone so much i will be back in a few days 🙏#wait also i thought of making a schedule for myself so i know what to do through out the day but first i need to see if i have the energy#to even do the minimum 😭#i really have to fix my sleeping schedule too. i go to sleep at 6 am 😑#if u see me back here tomorrow it’s bc i lost motivation sodjsksd#.txt
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It's been a few years since I latched onto a media, but I definitely rapidly gained the Murderbot Diaries as a special interest
#i listened to the first 5 books last week and now its all i want to think about#i am struggling so much because I cant listen to the next two until next month#i listened to them through hoopla and my library only gives out 5 chech outs a month#so im just over here vibrating with the excitement of 2 more books to read but no way to read them#ive been reading fanfic that i can confirm doesn't have spoilers for the next 2 books and replaying the first 5 books#i just really love secunit#the murderbot diaries#ive also been trying to come up with what I think murderbot looks like based on its descriptions in the dramatized audiobook#after i finish listening to the last 2 books i want to read the books with my eyes not my ears#itll make fanfic easier because ive been like ??? thats how that name is spelled??? i guess#gosh its been so enjoyable having a new special interest again
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Finally free from exams prison, am i too late?
Also yes they picked drinks that reminded them of each other
#apologies for the shit quality i guess but this was sketched horribly quick in a hospital library and proceeded to be dragged on for like.#a week#this is also extremely blursed and i got my bf from being against it to enabling me#plus i suck at any kind of shading have mercy of me i colored So-Lo’s skin properly#art#my art#oingo boingo#good for your so-lo#good for your so lo#because it’s a gamble to guess which tag is the right one#also good for your YOLO the way i am yeeting myself off with this one I don’t want to see it ever again#I should also add that i am not in any kind of server i picked this up from the tumblr tag
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stumbling into the tumblr blog covered in blood. hey guys i think pendog creative library is pretty cool. you should check it out.
#pendog creative library#[cherry on top]#HELLO PENDOG FANDOM. IS THERE ANYBODY IN HERE.#or would it be pcl? eh. pendog just sounds nicer to say compared to pcl.#trying so hard to make sure these tags dont dip into being absolute nonsense because i am currently Very Tired as i write this.#drawing this took something out of meeeee. im very proud of it but i also never want to look at it again (exaggerating)#i was like 'okay this'll be easy. it'll be quick. i dont have to make a glitter texture i can just paste in an image from google.#no shading just simple base colors. make it look like a scrapbook. easy! fun :)'#then miss hecate personally came into my head and said 'listen to me very closely young lady. you are going to shade that drawing-#-whether you like it or not. make those sequins shine against the spotlight properly. make me look nice. do you understand'#and i went 'ma'am yes ma'am' and then focused so hard i got a headache#aaauguasahhghghh. im all good but also augh.#this is what those artists in universe felt like after drawing those miss hectate portraits. i think. i better not go missing after this.#BY THE WAY THE BACKGROUND IS WORMS. NOT INTESTINES. TO CLARIFY. JUST IN CASE.#ask to tag#<- for either of those two things. idk#anyways i need to go the fuck to bed. good NIGHT.
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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opened blender just to look at them
#proof of life. hello.#i need to work on kelly's birthday edit#i've been. doing a lot of leaving my house for the last two weeks.#started riding my bike more. went to the library.#found the entire box set of freaks & geeks at my local secondhand dvd store which was AWESOME#also found a pair of tripp pants for very cheap & in my size at another thrift store near me#& got a nice new pair of boots as lil bday gift to myself#i was very overdue for a new pair of shoes tbh. mine are worn down at the heel so bad#but n e way. i need to do something creative now or i will explode#so here i am#i miss my boys very much.#no idea what i am going to make but hopefully it's something#rainyrambles#kelly#dhestyn
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got an ebook a while back and i need people to indulge me in where u guys get ur funnie little pdfs and digital books from bc i am on god not about to spend those prices as some sites want me to--
#i feel like i asked this before but i cant remember..... if i did im saurry dkfjghs#i'm asking about totally normal and legal ways of course--#ever since I got it i also scurried my local library sites too for what they offer for free but it's a little scarce haha.#I also really really love physical copies dont get me wrong but I am running out of shelf space ridiculously fast i have to admit dfkjgh
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all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#hunger games#the hunger games#thg#im still working on drawing people which adds to my nervousness x_x i wish i could be as confident as i am drawing animals#BUT YEAH IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM. I.#i literally have not gone a single day where i havent talked about them and im literally having to give myself limits on how much i can#read the books bc i literally went out to get a new library card JUST to do that#i literally cant believe when i was a kid i didnt like them as a couple .#i just couldnt appreciate the fake dating trope and i also took it very literally . and i was also like ten#ive had this ready to go but when i say ive had my mouse hovering over the post now button for a while i mean that so sincerely#PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES i try not to overwhelm my sister but#i am very aware i am way more into thg than she is and we watched the movies together#ive been sending her literally every single video abt thg thinking she will enjoy it as much as i will and im probably driving her up#a wall AHBKJAHBHDFJGBKJDHBGG but its fine she expects nothing less#i have to get used to posting non cat art non warrior cat art#you can tell im stalling . just a little bit
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