#I always get more motivated when I get to draw for someone else basically

[nekrosmos]

By the way, if you ever have NikPrice requests, you are more than welcome to drop them in my ask box.

I can't promise that I will get to all of them but I'm always looking for inspiration !

[pakunod-a]

Idia Shroud, who..

...can't fathom how you ever got around to talking to him. He was convinced you were too good for him.

...seems to be a bit more gloomy than usual.

—oh, no, it's not you. He just can't process how such a lovely human being could ever be his friend.

...can't believe it's been so long since you've first DM'ed him. He didn't even have to do anything at all.

...has a hard time believing you wouldn't up and find someone else to befriend. You're.. probably his first genuine friend. Why wouldn't you want to stay good friends with him?

...is your closest online friend. You've met a little short over a year ago, and now he's a little too attached.

...is one of your closest confidants. Despite not being friends with you in person, you trust him with major things, like your game accounts, your Magicord account, your IP address <3

...is your duo on most games. You support him, and oftentimes, he lets you carry.

...doesn't trust you when you say that your "friends" are only with you to hang out. They must have ulterior motives, no?

...is very, very fortunate he installed an app that lets him see through your webcam. You were so ethereal, it was unbelievable.

...thinks you look like a masterpiece crafted by the very hands of a god themselves. This is who he's been talking to all this time? He's breath-taken.

...starts slowly getting insecure every time you try and turn down his offers to game together. His mind starts going to the worst possible places imaginable.

...can't have you getting any ideas of leaving him. You're basically his best friend, dare I say his platonic? lover. You put your Minecraft beds together. You went to the Heart Island on Genshin Impact with him. He does all your dailies for you whenever you aren't available, and vice versa. You're practically married at this point.

...is waiting for the right time to strike. Not now, but soon. You shouldn't suspect it. If he fails, he risks losing his beloved friend.

...monitors you closely. It's just a matter of time, you know. After all, you're playing hard to get. And Idia does love a good challenge.

...watches your every move. You like to sing in the shower, don't you? You sound so talented.. undeserving of someone like him. You enjoy the company of cats? How coincidental.. he does too. You have so much in common already.

...has your room set up next to his. You'll live with him, eventually. When he finds the courage to do it.

Idia Shroud, who will forever be your Player 1. Won't you be his Player 2, too?

long note below here, skip if not interested

A/N: hello :)

it's been a while, how have you all been?

i apologize for being on a hiatus of some sort. and for the rushed and short idia post T-T

it's going to be the start of a busy year for me, i am graduating after all.

i have lots of posts i need to publish and rewrite, but unfortunately my schedule is too packed, and the only times i feel free enough to write are after-school hours, which are 8 pm - 12 am for me.

i might just end up reuploading more fics from my old blog, or writing a bit more for other series i'm into. (hxh, obey me, twst, mlbb, genshin, and hsr <3 perhaps trese if anyone's heard about it? 👀)

but if i ever come back to posting, what kind of content would you guys like to see?

my requests and inbox(?) are always open. please do drop by and say hello, or drop a request you would like to see written by me. i find that requests or ideas from others often get my brian going.

if you wish to find me elsewhere, my tiktok and my discord users are both pakunod.a :)

i would like to come back again with posts for you to read, or a few of my practice drawings for you to see.

perhaps in the future. :)

as always, stay safe, keep yourself healthy, stay hydrated, and always love yourself. <3

- 1, Yuan

[scribz-ag24]

your grovyle and dusknoir pieces matter so much to me because you capture the very essence of how much the green gecko bastard and his 7.11ft tall ass ghost-guy-that-was-sent-to-kill-him-but-whoops-something-happened matter to each other and just how they change the other while still being all awkward at certain times because they are in a situation that involves feelings in which they are both not used to (grovyles emotional tendencies where he pushed down things and thoughts that would otherwise doom the mission he was on and dusknoir just being completely foreign to them because he strives from a world where kindness and love is seen as a vulnerability so he just strayed far from things that will inevitably stab him in the back) and how they try to navigate it while having to bear the annoyances of the other but still viewing them in high regard nonetheless. i dont go here too much but i figured i may as well say it because i think you're cool and because you draw those two annoying little studs so well. have a good day scribz

Waaaa thank you!! I appreciate you stop by here to be so lovely! This made my entire week 🥹🥹 I always love to see you when you tag, youre so thorough in everh post you reblog, it's a delight to see ^^

They are sooo important to each other, I don't think we appreciate enough how pivotal they are to each other's development, especially grovyle to dusknoir's. Still cant believe the ghost's parting word and thought was a a most thankful message to his old enemy, thanking him for giving his life meaning, for helping him not regret having truly *lived*, not just survived. I wish Dusknoir got some more dialogue after coming back to life, but those being his last words, in addition to him constantly referencing grovyle's speech, just goes to show how far he's internalized grovyle's words.

And the way Grovyle genuinely sees and reaches towards Dusknoir's inner goodness, *while* he's actively being betrayed, is beyond words. Grovyle loves his friends deeply and by this point he's clearly gone far enough to consider Dusknoir close to that status. Maybe Dusknoir protecting him from a blow hit too close to home and changed the dynamic in his eyes from "temporal ally" to just "ally". It can't be a coincidence that Grovyle opens up and explains his motives and ideas after Dusknoir takes the attack for him.

You just can't get one without the other in my mind, it's how they contrast and mirror each other, it's how the game switches the tables and flips their alignment so seamlessly. The thief-captor dynamic turning on its head once you see their true colors. How dusknoir appears more mature and put together thanks to his charm and social skills, only for him to end up learning and looking up to Grovyle, whose more developed life philosophy and selfless objective end up convincing Dusknoie to fight for something beyond himself.

Special Episode 5 is one of rhe best pmd chapters/story out there, and it's the most basic premise of Grovyle and Dusknoir working together. The writers developed them so well in conjuction that they can't be separated in my head.

But even then their contrasting personalities makes them so fun to put them into situations, despite the ares wjere they might overlap. they're both great but they belong together. And celebi just adds even more flavour to the mix by adding someone so radically different from them in her view and approach to things (seeing as shes one of the onlu characters explicitly in love, maybe even in priorities outside world-ending cataclysms xD). Future trio in post-canon is simply too rich, even the crumbs from PSMD links them together and that's enough for me.

(And also just in general the vibes are so good, we make fun of dusknoie for the "looking nervous having your back exposed to me" but grovyle's "you cling to me beyond expectation" and "i surrender, do with me as you will". BESIDES ALREADY THINKING ABOUR DUSKNOIR WAY MOEE THAN ANYONE ELSE.

he goes up to partner during the sunrise and goes "thinking about dusknoir?" whilw it turns out partner is thinking of how much they love the beach and their friend 😭😭 and then grovyle says in his letter "hey watch out for dusknoir bc he WILL BE BACK I KNOW HIM" and hero and partner jusr go "oh yeah that guy. remember that guy??" like THEY DONT REMEMBER WHO TRIED TO KILL THEM A DAY AGO?? 😭😭 why they dgaf lmao)

So yeah. I care about them a normal amount xD.

[galedekarios]

You don't have to ship it, but they do have their similarities—enough that it really isn’t any two white dudes shoved together (unlike one pale elf and another wood elf are). Their personalities, alignments, and histories make them very different people, but some of their goals, struggles, hobbies, motives, requirements, and unpopular moral opinions align in ways that they don't with other origins. I think what similarities they do have are the reason why they butt heads at first, and why Gale later on softens up to Astarion as he becomes more comfortable with himself. They check a lot of the requirements for mirror characters, and it's a ship that's at its best when people hone in on that rather than using it to write out their yaoi punching bag Gale x perfect pained princess Astarion fantasies.

i was debating not answering this because this isn't really something of a debate for me or something that i will change my opinion on.

they share the same levels of surface similarities with everyone else in the roster, if you truly want to put your mind to it.

my point is not "don't ship" or "ship", my point is these sorts of shallow parallels can be drawn between any and all of them. it doesn't translate to them being "made for each other" or "written for each other" or being "narrative foils" or "mirrors".

some of their goals? which ones exactly? getting rid of the tadpole? regaining agency? learning to live the life they feel they lost? again, that's something all of them share.

what struggles? overcoming an oppressive relationship? again, that's something all of them share.

what hobbies do they share? reading? because they share the same reading animation despite ast*rion never talking about books? on the contrary, he even derides reading and books as a waste of time.

what motives? motives for what?

what requirements? consuming something? karlach needs infernal iron in order to survive.

what unpopular moral opinions? about what? in which respect?

it's all so shallow.

people mistake where gale's "unpopular moral opinions" come from in opposition to ast*rion's: in the beginning, they come from pragmatism and being smart enough to recognise that the group is facing a seemingly unwinnable battle against an unknown entity that is controlling an entire army to later finding out it's a legendary elder brain with a macguffin on its head. it's not about hubris nor is it about being unhinged or selfish. it's pragmatism against insourmantable odds and it's selflessness by act iii that makes him offer his sacrifice even if you have convinced him to live. if we are speaking about the crown, the boat scene beats you over the head with it stemming from gale's loss of faith in m*stra and wanting to be better than her in order to help - themselves and others.

they don't check "requirements for mirror characters" in any way that the others do not. i could take any and all of these "mirrors" and apply them to every other companion in the game if that is the level of "depth" we are using.

if we look past the shallow parallels you can draw for basically all of them, we see gale shooting down ast*rion's manipulation tactics right away ("i do enjoy our walks together. don't you, gale?" "uh sure. in silence."). we see their different approaches to what the journey throws at them. gale enjoys helping people, for no gain at all, and diplomatic solutions (arabella, mirkon, mayrina, zevlor, etc.), he needs someone who is on his side, someone who is willing to accept him for who he is. gale is genuinely good-hearted and kind. that is why they butt heads early on. not because they are similar. in opposition to that, ast*rion delights in cruelty. he is so needlessly and often. towards those in need, towards children, towards animals. he is out for no one but himself. he shows little emphathy to anyone, with the exception of himself always ("the problem with what cazador has done is that he did it to me.").

ast*rion in particular is often downright cruel and degrading to people around him, he's cruel and degrading to gale, to the problems he faces and who he is as a person (just a few examples from the top of my head):

from the moment when gale reveals his backstory ("why isn't this netherese jack in a box a blip on the horizon already?") to the mystra reveal (being more focused on what it means re: controlling the cult than gale's impending death), and his casual dismissal of who gale is as a person at every other turn ("i don't care what's in every mind flayer colony, gale - nobody does. except you."), to delighting in the fact gale was kidnapped by orin.

are k*rlach and gale foils because they share a bomb in their chest?

are sh*dowheart and gale foils because they share religious trauma?

are w*ll and gale foils because they share having a relationship with an incredible power imbalance with a female entity?

are h*lsin and gale foils because they both have a library?

are w*ll and gale foils because they have their tents set up next to each other in act i?

to wrap it up: they are completely incompatible to me.

they are "mirrors" or "foils" in the same way that karlach and gale are. or gale and wyll. or gale and shadowheart: at the most there are parallels you can draw that are tenuous at best and shallow at worst. the broad same general narrative structure doesn't create narrative foils.

i've tried to engage with this ship to see what people are doing with it and the relationship usually starts in the same way over and over again in a way that gale's character a disservice.

gale isn't someone who cares about physical attractiveness, nor is he someone who is into one night stands or sleeping with someone for the sake of it while ast*rion's entire romance set up hinges on the fact that you are being manipulated by him, sex and attraction as a springboard.

gale's entire romance set up hinges on the fact that you accept him as he is. it's a slow burn. mystra's missive forces his hand into confessing early and sharing himself with you in what time is left to him - sex is a component of a greater whole.

gale also isn't someone to just take insults or abuse or dismissal and then still run after said someone to have a relationship, he isn't someone where enemies to lovers work or fwb (both things that seem to be quite popular with this particular ship).

i'm not even going to touch on the 'dubcon' aspect i've also seen a lot of forcing 'favours' from gale because he needs magical artefacts because that's a whole different can of worms.

again: this is not a don't ship post. you are free to ship what you want. this is solely a this relationship doesn't work for me, much less as narrative foils, post, and i have seen nothing that would convince me otherwise in the game or from the people who do like this ship.

[mr-payjay]

analysis of oj's thought process in this scene for funsies (quick warning for suitcase being put down and seen as inferior by another but it's not character neg)

why is oj being a massive fucking bitch? 🤔 Let's analyze.

so, obviously oj is living off a power trip in this episode. interesting implications about his actual power as a hotel owner. actually, at the beginning of the episode, we can see that he is NOT RESPECTED. salt lies about cleaning up, pepper demands him where the towels are (and he smugly lets her enter the DEATH TRAP DOOR? implying a familiar but negative relationship), and in general oj (and paper sort of but that's not relevant) seems to be the only caretaker while the rest of the residents are more like customers. though it seems they are *meant* to help out (such as salt being supposed to clean).

anyway. once oj gets the temporary host role for inanimate insanity, he immediately gets excited. we transition to the scene outside the hotel and he even does a little twirl! oj starts to read off the paper mephone uses (which oj has happily vandalized with drawings of himself and a snarky little message, this points to his general disdain towards mephone) and is trying to go Smoothly through with it. once the teams start fighting, he doesn't even try to figure out who's telling the truth, preferring instead to eliminate a random person. he REALLY likes to be efficient with his time, huh? that's talked about more in the next paragraph, but in this one i'll say a bit about his hatred for inanimate insanity. for the whole episode, he is uncaring of the show's rules, guidelines, structures, etc. he eliminates someone at random, he makes the contestants clean the hotel NOT as a challenge then flips a coin to determine the loser (only after they question him), he makes them sing for no reason other than to be entertained, he zips through every step as fast as possible. he does not care at all about ii, despite being so eager to host it. why? because hosting it means he gets to boss around a group of people (and he can make them clean his hotel! something he really needs help with!!), he gets to take mephone's place and mess with his stuff and disrespect his show, and generally he gets to sort of... take out some of his lasting frustrations surrounding ii. i don't think ANY of the season one cast is fond of inanimate insanity (and especially not of mephone), even if it brought them together (also not always a good thing). oj certainly isn't.

once he picks suitcase, he starts by calling her "whats-your-face" (thank you for noticing mari), then a few seconds later calls her by her actual name. thissss is so interesting to me. he KNOWS her name, apparently. but he called her a mean name first. this can either imply that he forgot, that he's just being a jerk for the hell of it, or both. i think it's both. a mix of his obsession with productivity and his need to be superior motivates this. he wants to get the elimination over with as quickly as possible, so quickly that he doesn't even bother to remember her name right away, because he's SO efficient that he just simply Doesn't have time for these things (in his mind). so it makes him feel both superior to her (disrespecting her), makes him feel good about himself (he feels like he's just being Productive and Time Efficient and part of that is that he has "no time" to do anything else but work). basically, he DID forget her name for like, a singular second, he just didn't bother to wait a moment or correct himself instead of calling her something else.

and for telling suitcase she's ruining the show? let's bring it back to ii1. oj insults people whenever he feels like it. he's pretty mean, and he's worse when he's stressed. he insults people particularly for being "useless" (such as to bomb), and is quick to fight back against anyone who challenges him. a pushover like suitcase is easy to demean. and it makes him respect her even less when she's being so meek! oj thinks his snappishness is justified by the fact he's, once more, simply being time efficient ("we've got a busy schedule!"), and that she is just wasting his time. i said earlier that oj doesnt respect inanimate insanity. so why does he accuse her of ruining the show if he doesn't care about it? well, because this is *his* episode. his time to be the host. even if he disregards the usual way things run, he's still going to get upset if something conflicts with *his* plans. he wants to get this over with and get them to clean his hotel, not much else (again, he's still enjoying being in a position of authority, he just likes to be nonchalant about how Superior and Powerful he is now). if someone's interrupting that, he's going to assert himself. oj always fights back against anyone who challenges him, and suitcase is too much of a doormat to stop him from shutting her down.

now for oj telling her to step back. this part is petty. he's irritated but also kind of. happy about being irritated. "what," you say? well, see, suitcase is genuinely trying to follow his directions. she just doesn't know how *much* to step back, obviously. so oj keeps shooing her a little bit at a time until she's finally offscreen, and you can tell he's a little bit annoyed by it. but this is part of the power & superiority once more! he gets to boss around someone "inferior to him" who is just soooo stupid that she doesn't even know where to go. and oj has to shoo her over and over because she's just not getting it (since he is sooo very much smarter than her and she is just completely incapable of following OBVIOUS directions.) but it's okay she is simply a Minor inconvenience (in his head) that he has dealt with now. also note that he could've just pointed to where she had to go. does this paragraph make sense? he likes being able to tell others what to do and have them do it, so even if she's kind of annoying him by not completely understanding the instructions, he still gets to assert his authority quite a bit.

this analysis is particularly focused on the scene in the video but i do bring up some other parts of the episode to support it.

[snoddie]

Normally I don't discuss big drama topics like this on my quirky little Tumblr blog, but there's something about the whole HBomberGuy plagiarism video that truly fascinates me.

It's the way Internet Historian fans reacted to it.

Illuminaughtii fans were pissed at what she did and viewers were calling her out for years, especially after what she did to her former colleagues. AVGN fans have been dissatisfied with the state of his content for a while now, James Somerton practically betrayed his audience and Filip Miucin is so beloathed that I deadass forgot his name while writing this and thought his name was Patrick.

Basically everyone saw what these creators did and we're collectively either unsurprised or disappointed to say the least. Internet Historian fans however, they were probably the most vitriolic community during this entire event. They were quick to either label the video a hit piece, claim Bomberman was slandering IH, discredited the video because of Bomberman's political views and friendship with HassanAbi (despite a majority of the video going after a left leaning LGBT analyst..) and in general, just kinda meat riding IH.

I don't think Bomberman went about the IH stuff perfectly, I definitely believe he had some hang ups with him due to IH's more...let's just say 'Chud' style of humor and the audience he cultivated. But to say the entire segment or even the whole video was a Historian hit piece is misguided at best and dishonest at worst. Historian might be reserved, but there's no denying that his silence regarding the plagiarism allegations kinda did lead to a snowball effect, people are too familiar with false copyright claims and some were a bit..too eager to bring the Jews into this. Yes he did resolve a lot of this, but there's a level of distrust I feel now, like how I feel with the other examples Bomberman used, if they were willing to do it once, what's stopping them from doing it again just with an even more obscure source? Historian and some of the others don't even have the algorithm breathing down their necks because they upload as frequently as Deltrarune chapters come out, so why not take time to come up with your own shit?

This is why I found the sudden nosedive into politics so...bizarre, because I didn't see this with the other supporters, not even Somerton and he's arguably the most political creator of the group.

If I were to armchair psychology my way into some kinda explanation, I'd probably have one of two reasons:

Internet Historian is a beloved creator who many people consider a trustworthy and extremely creative individual, and hearing him be accused of something scummy can have the most loyal fans feeling a bit wounded and defensive. I was definitely a huge fan of his work before the Bomberman video hit, I probably watched The Fall of 76 ...76 times? So learning it was made by someone willing to pull from someone else's work and pass it off as his own, it kinda stung.

The second (and let's be honest more likely) possibility is that there's political motivation behind it. No one can deny that Historian has appealed to more 'Anti SJW' crowds before, those people tend to be either more right leaning, center leaning or left leaning but don't like the way extremists behave. If you watched any video about Tumblr IH has made, it's quite clear whether intentionally or not what kinda audience he appeals to. Likewise, when the one person IH's audience despises the most (a leftist commentator, male feminist and someone actively criticizing IH) shows up, their instinctual reaction is to cry 'woke libtard getting mad at gigachad meme man'.

The reason all of this frustrates me, and why I even crawled out of my comfort zone of posting random crap and gay Homestuck drawings, is because it's a genuine example of political brainrot and creator dickriding muddying the waters of the discussion being had. Like Bomberman or not (I like his shit but don't always agree with his takes) you have to admit his video opened the floodgates for people actually kinda giving more of a shit about plagiarism online than before, highlighting how easy it is to get away, how there's almost nothing you can do about it law wise unless you're REALLY lucky and how much it can hurt genuinely talented or marginalized people.

And I'd hate for us to just ignore that conversation because you don't wanna admit your favorite funny internet guy might not be the best person.

Here's an unrelated picture of Wurmple eating soup.

[finishwhatyoustarted-event]

Tools Tuesday - Motivation to Start, and Setting Goals - Sept 3

It’s the first Tuesday of the event, so it’s time for a Tools Tuesday! Tools Tuesday is a weekly part of the Finish What You Started event where I share various resources I have found to help everyone complete their WIP. Have a resource you want to share? Send it in a message and I’ll take a look!

Today is about motivation to start and setting easy goals to keep the momentum going.

Starting a project can be the scariest part. Good news! If you’re participating in this event, you’ve already completed that step! But finishing is daunting, especially for long projects with no end in sight, or ones that you’ve struggling with for a long time.

When you have a big project, especially one that you may have started and put down years ago, it can be intimidating to pick it back up. Give yourself a few minutes to review what you already have done. Read through the last part you wrote, read your notes, check the pattern, etc. If you need to, make notes about what you have, where you remember you wanted to go, and what is inspiring you now. That scene you got stuck on might make sense now, or you see another angle you could draw that tricky pose from. You could even go in a whole new direction.

Be kind to yourself if you feel stuck. You can't intimidate or yell yourself into productivity!

When you’re ready to work, it can help to do some warmup stretches, especially for artists and sewists, but writers, musicians, and others craftspeople benefit from a good warmup stretch too! If you’re on the discord, check the general resources channel for wrist stretches. And stretch during breaks! This is a stretch guide I keep on my phone, to remind me to loosen up. made by @/tizzymcwizzyALT

[basic ID, more in alt: an infographic of a pink figure demonstrating a variety of hand, arm, and upper body stretches. End ID.]

If it’s not distracting, set the mood for your work with an applicable playlist or soundscape. Make sure you won’t be interrupted or distracted during your work time by silencing notifications and minimizing other windows. Let yourself focus on this one thing.

When you do start, set a small goal. It can be word count based or time based, whatever makes sense for your project. Make it very achievable: maybe just five minutes or 100 words. The thrill of reaching that goal can help carry you through another 5 minutes, another 100 words. If you struggle just to get through that goal, congratulate yourself on making your session goal! You can go do something else now. Decreasing the pressure on yourself can help get creative energy flowing. When you make your goal consistently, you can up it, but not too much.

There’s a famous anecdote that whenever author Terry Pratchet sat down to write, he set a goal of 400 words. Whether he wrote more or not, he did his 400. By the time of his death, Terry Pratchet had written and published over 40 novels. For myself, I like to set session/day goals, weekly goals, and monthly goals. That way even if my progress isn’t linear, I can see myself approaching where I want to be. Incremental goals can feel really good! But if holding yourself to a number doesn’t help, find what does.

If you want help from others also working on wips, come join the discord! We have a space for accountability buddies to help keep you on track and a place to write during timed sprints, as well as many resources. This link should not expire!

These all might feel obvious to you, but maybe someone else hasn’t considered them before. What gets you motivated to work on your wip? Do you have any tricks that always work for you? Share them with your fellow participants here!

[tadpolesonalgae]

Amarantha x f!reader x human!Feyre: Persuasion[*] - Part 1

A/N: took me a while to figure out how to get this one to work smoothly but dear gods it’s really sunk its teeth into me…

(This has the same dynamic as The High Queen’s Courtesan[***])

Summary: Amarantha has learned over the decades sometimes it pays off to listen to your fucked up fantasies. Especially when they involve cruelly manipulating others to her will. And you’re always happy to be her obedient little whore.

Warnings: pussy eating basically, masochism.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“You’re looking a little peaky there, Fey.”

Her head whips up from where she’s curled up on her pitiful patch of hay. She scuttles back, as if she can blend into the darkness and hide from your looming presence. You stroll forward nonchalantly, stopping a little way in front of her, crouching down. “Do you mind if I call you Fey? It’s such an effort to string out your full name.”

Her eyes flit desperately over your shoulder, scanning throughout the cell for someone. Grey-blue finally settles on your own, and you give her a placating smile. “Well?”

She doesn’t bother with flattery—though you suppose that would have been nice. “What do you want?”

Your brow dips at her hoarse voice, your eyes dipping to the bone protruding from the skin in her arm. “That looks nasty,” you drawl softly, “waiting for little Lulu to come help you?” She can’t disguise the shock that passes over her features, but tries. The attempt is so poor you burst into laughter. “Please, who else is going to help you? My Queen is keeping Tammy very occupied, so unless you somehow managed to bag a friend here of all places, Lucien’s the only one left.”

Her brow narrows, words a little more hateful than last time. “What do you want?”

You sigh, pouting out your lower lip, then a smile raises your mouth. “Stand up, spin around, and I’ll decide.” She scowls, staying firmly put. You tilt your head to one side, “I’m not here to hurt you, Fey.” You shuffle closer, settling beside her on the hay. She looks slightly surprised at the act. “I’ll admit I have ulterior motives to offering you help, but I’m sure you’re already well acquainted with the ways of Under The Mountain.”

Her blue-grey eyes stare into you keenly—sharp.

“Who are you?” She asks, prying for information. A smile lifts the edges of your mouth as you lean a little closer to her, nothing her human senses will detect. “Before Prythian, I can be a number of things. Fae call me her courtesan, her partner, or even her lover, and I suppose I am—to her Court.” You lean into her, a conspiratorial spark in your eyes, “but between you and I?” She’s pulled closer, as if lured in by the promise of a secret. “When her bedroom doors close, and she sheds those finely made gowns of hers? Definitely her whore.”

Feyre raises her brows in shock, taking a moment to comprehend your confession. “Is that common?” She hedges.

“To have multiple partners? Or for two females to be involved with one another?” You ask, watching her closely.

“The latter.”

You shrug casually, “arguably, no. I can’t recall a single period in all of Prythian’s history that a female has ruled, let alone taken another female as her lover.” Your eyes slide over her sweat slicked skin, to the bone protruding from the torn and bloody flesh. “I can fix that for you, if you’d like.”

Her eyes narrow in suspicion—smart girl. “In return for what?”

You make a show of thinking, tapping your finger over your lips, drawing her attention. Then a beaming smile graces your face. “I want you to kiss me.” Her eyes nearly pop out of her skull, cheeks flushing. She looks angry, you realise. “Are you not agreeable to that? I would have thought you’d delight in a chance to be healed for so little?”

“For a kiss? So you and your conniving friends can laugh at the silly human girl who dared set her mouth on a high Fae?”

Your thighs squeeze together at her wording, scent shifting though she won’t be able to detect it. “I do not have any friends in this court. I have my Queen and she is all I need.”

“Is this her way of mocking me? Sending her whore down to try and seduce me?” Your gaze is fixated on her mouth.

“It was my idea, actually. And one that took a lot of persuading on my part.” You offer her a sweet smile, “I have a certain amount of sway with her, so I would suggest you use that to your advantage, Feyre.”

She watches you silently, debating. “Just one kiss?” Excitement sparks in your chest, and you nod. Her eyes pierce into you, “where?” A sultry smile lifts your lips. “On my mouth…but you’re free to kiss some other places, should you like?” Heat crawls across her skin at your bold statement. “The mouth is fine,” she mutters, hurriedly.

You perk up, moving to be in front of her, slotting between her legs.

Feyre shifts uncomfortably, back pressing against the wall as you cage her in. You lean closer, but she stops you, pressing a hand to your upper arm. “Why a kiss? If it’s not meant to be mocking?”

“I’ve already told you I’m her whore. How else do you think I would take payment? In the all the gold you have falling from your pockets?”

“No, but—”

“Then in taking you to bed with me?”

“No, but—”

“Then there is nothing else to be said. The bargain is waiting, Fey, and our time is limited.” Her cheeks flush with indignation, but she concedes, albeit resentfully. “Fine.”

Despite her attempt at a cool demeanour, you can hear the pounding of her heart, the terror and excitement thrumming beneath her skin. She swallows, and her eyes flutter shut, bringing herself to your mouth. A feline grin plays on your lips, before you’re pressing her against the wall, one hand cupping her jaw as you bring her against yourself.

Power crackles in the air, at the same time your tongue sweeps into her mouth. The bone snaps back into place, skin healing perfectly over it, not a scar or mark to be found. Her eyes fly wide open, and she bites down in pain, teeth sinking into your tongue in shock. You hiss, pulling back, and she meets your gaze fearfully.

Then your head goes quiet. You can taste the metallic tang of blood in your mouth, but it’s different when you see the red liquid smearing her lips, mixing wonderfully with her saliva. You want to put your own teeth in her lips, bite down ever so carefully, canines piercing her delicate skin. A shiver runs down your spine, but you force yourself to pull away, tapping her arm as you go. “There you go. All patched up.”

You hold out your hands for her to take. She eyes them suspiciously, but slides her own into them. When she stands, her vision goes wonky, overtaken with dizziness as she stumbles. Your arms loop beneath her shoulders, easily supporting her as she collapses against you, momentarily floored by weakness.

One arms snakes around her waist as the other hooks over the nape of her neck, pulling her hair from her pale face. “Hey,” you murmur, “you feeling better?” She grunts, and makes to pull away from you, but you tighten your hold on her. She manages a glare, but that’s all.

How horribly weak humans are.

“Come on,” you soothe, hand rubbing her back, feeling every notch of her spine, “let’s get you somewhere nicer, hm?” She hardly has the strength to protest as you winnow her out of the cell, taking her directly to your own chambers.

————

It takes a few hours to get her cleaned to a suitable level, one that wouldn’t make your Queen hurl her back into the dungeons before the fun even gets a chance to start.

You’ve managed to get her into a new change of clothes without her snapping or trying to claw at you—she didn’t faint either, which was impressive.

“How do the clothes feel? Not too loose?” Her frame is worryingly slight, save for the muscle lining her arms and legs. “They’re fine,” she replies, keeping her distance, despite how close you’d grown from aiding her in the bath. Though she hadn’t protested as much as you had expected. Maybe she was already warming up to you.

The thought sends a shiver of pleasure down your spine.

You walk over to her, inspecting her features for the smallest ounce of dirt, but could find none. “You’re looking much better now, Fey.” You smile, turning away from her to fetch some cosmetics. When you return, she’s moved to your bed, standing awkwardly at its side. You pause, taking in her sloping shoulders; the purple smudges beneath her eyes.

Setting the objects down, you walk over to her side.

She startles, flinching when your hand wraps gently around her wrist. You forget how awful human hearing is, though you suppose you’re quiet even by your own kind’s standards.

“How are you feeling?” You inquire, softly, thumb soothing over the pulse point of her inner wrist. Her eyes have softened the tiniest amount, her wariness thawing with every note of concern you scatter about her. “I’m fine,” she says, but her words are rough—tired. You smile sweetly, and guide her to the side of your mattress, pulling the covers back.

“Why don’t you have a good night’s sleep for once, hm?”

Her legs tremble with the effort of not collapsing down, crawling beneath the invitingly clean sheets. “And don’t worry, I’ll be right at your side. Not even the Attor is allowed in my chambers.” She stiffens at the mention of your Queen’s favoured beast, but melts beneath your touch, crawling into the bed as you settle at her other side.

“Is your room entirely off limits, then?” She mumbles, eyes already closed before the fae lights douse with a flick of your hand. You tuck her into your side carefully, “the only other soul who can enter my chambers is the High Queen herself, though I believe she’s preoccupied with Rhysie tonight.” You stroke her hair gently, arms keeping her close, “she won’t be visiting me, sadly. So get some rest, Fey. You’ll need your energy for tomorrow.”

————

As far as you can tell, she sleeps soundly, not once waking. Though you know you have to arouse her—get her cleaned and fed so she won’t tire too quickly when the night comes.

A knock sounds at the double doors, and her eyes immediately crack open.

You groan, pushing up from the encompassing warmth of the covers, swinging your bare legs over the edge of the plush mattress. You can guess who it is well enough by the laziness that exudes in the tendrils of darkness that swish beneath the door, illuminated by the flame in the corridor.

You turn the handle, opening the door, just wide enough for him to be able to spot the human in your bed should he care to—

Yep.

Violet eyes flick back to yours, something dancing in their indigo depths but it’s gone before you can place it. “Good morning, Rhysie,” you croon from your doorway. “Have plenty of fun last night?”

He offers you a lazy smile that’s edged with fury—something’s straining him. Whether it’s the affairs of Amarantha’s inner Court, or some other information, you don’t care. All that matters is poking and prodding at his rough exterior. “Speaking of our Lady.” You shoot him a disapproving glare. He should be addressing her as High Queen, you’re the only one with that privilege—in front of her, at least. “She’s demanding your presence in her chambers.”

“We’re seeing her this evening?” You prod. Why would she summon you now when you’re already going later? Unless she’s displeased with Rhys, and sending him as a messenger because she wants you to make up for it—

You swallow, heat building between your thighs at the prospect.

Rhysand’s brow narrows, glaring down at you with that lethal grace he possesses. “She gave no such indication of those plans.” His mouth quirks into a dark grin, “I’m afraid you’re on your own to satisfy her tonight. She seems rather…frustrated. I’d be careful not to tread on her toes.” He croons, hands slipping into his pockets.

You dip your head a little, peering up at him as you press closer to the door—closer to him. “Actually, the human will be joining us this evening, Rhysand.”

The only indication of his surprise is how his eyes flick over your shoulder again, or try to, seeing as you’ve brought the door to, a little more. It vanishes quickly though, masked beneath cool indifference. “You think Amarantha will stand for having filth in her bed?” He drawls, and you can practically scent Feyre’s embarrassment. Neither of you bothering to lower your voices.

“Be nice, Rhys,” you drawl, watching him carefully. There’s something about him. It’s nothing outright, but something’s amiss. “Are you jealous she might be forgetting about you, hm? I can put in a good word for you, if you’d like?” Your lips lift into a smirk, but he doesn’t fall for it.

“As her favoured pet?” He croons, and heat traces down your spine at the demeaning tone. “Careful, Rhysand. You’re giving me half a mind to drag you in here and not look back.” His eyes spark with dark delight, stepping closer, so he’s a breath away from the barrier preventing him from entering your chambers.

“It’s been a while since she’s let us play together, hasn’t it?” He drawls, and your back curves as you lean toward him. You shift toward his touch as he raises a single hand—you allow him to grip your throat. “Surely you’d enjoy tonight more with another power present, hm?” He purrs, hand tightening around your neck as you flush with pleasure.

“Why don’t you go crawling to our Queen and ask her? Put in a good word, as you said?” His mouth brushes over your lips as you push against him, but he holds firm. A soft growl drags from your throat, but you’re familiar with his games. “What do you want, High Lord?”

He smirks—that damn smirk of his. “Good to see you’re well acquainted with my preferred methods.” You scowl, but keep pushing into his dominating hold, needing more. He gives you precisely that when he pulls you closer, bodies flushing tight together as you step over the threshold of the door.

“What I want, is for the little, half-decent Entertainment we have down here to not be rendered immobile before her next trial.” His mouth brushes over your own and you push onto your tiptoes, chasing more. “It’s been rather dull as of late, wouldn’t you agree? And with such interesting trials… It would be a shame to have her wiped out in an evening because you’re too greedy to share her with the rest of the Court.”

You consider. It’s a reasonable request. After a while, you can see how plain dancers would bore the feared High Lord of the Night Court. How he would be thirsting for more bloodshed.

“And what will you give me, Rhysand? I rather like the idea of ruining her over the course of a few hours.” You push closer, breasts dragging over his chest as your hands glide up his finery. “That she would be defeated by my cunt rather than a deadly wyrm, or a nonsensical—” You cut yourself off before you reveal the second trial.

Sure, you’re her favoured whore, but she’d flay you permanently immobile should you spoil her fun. Not so immobile she would be unable to use you, though…

Rhys cocks a brow, “a nonsensical…what? Do tell.” His hand braces your waist, slipping down over the swell of your ass, his fingers gliding between your legs. You huff a laugh, “tell me what you’ll do for me, first, Rhysie. My Lady won’t like being gentle with her.”

His fingers slip away from your heat, raising to the base of your spine. “How about I lock us up in one of those dungeons of hers, huh? Just you and me? See what havoc I can wreak on your sensitive skin?” You suck in air between your teeth, pupils dilating as you stare up at him.

“Like what?” You breathe, fingers dancing over the lapels of his jacket, pressing tighter against him.

“What would you like?” He drawls, thumb scraping over your skin at the same time a talon drags against your shield. “Want me to chain you up while I fuck you? Break into your mind and torture you there?” You shiver in his arms, pleasure melting your senses.

“I want you to whip my back raw,” you growl softly, thighs pressing together at the idea alone—the sting of the leather in his skilled hands. “Give me that, and she’ll last the night.” No need to mention you know Amarantha will savour watching Feyre suffer through the trials. She’ll much prefer dragging out her pain rather than ending it so prematurely.

He offers you a feline grin, one that has your hairs standing on end as he drags the tip of his finger up the ridge of your spine. “I’ll flay you until bone gleams white in the flame light.” You shiver at the dark promise, thighs pressing together.

“It’s a deal.”

————

“Remind me why I’m allowing this scheme of yours, whore?”

You smile giddily at her as she strolls toward her bed, almost utterly naked save for the scrap of fabric clinging to her hips, moving to gather the dress that lays before you.

“Because it’s not every day a human challenges you—you should make the most of it, in every way.” You offer, looking up at her with that gleam in your eye as she crosses her arms, plumping her tits. You swallow, nipples peaking through the sheer night robe you’re still adorned in.

“Did Rhys mention we had a tumble this morning?” She drawls, eyes cold and hard as she stares down at you.

You shift on the bed, tucking your knees further beneath you before you shake your head, “no, my Queen.” She hums, arms unfolding slowly—teasingly, as she drags one open palm down her front. You lick your lips, following her direction with your eyes.

“He was very…thorough, in his fucking.” Her fingers hook on the band of her underwear, and a flick of her eyes has you shifting forward, until you’re directly before her. You bite your lip as she peels away the garment from her wet heat, creamy strands of arousal slicking the fabric to her hot cunt. “I thought you might like this small meal.”

You’re vaguely aware of your head nodding, though your eyes are fixated on her, wishing to run your tongue through her centre, taste both of them together.

She peels her underwear off carefully before instructing you to lie back on the bed. You follow, mindlessly.

Your head goes quiet as she loops your feet through the legs slots, dragging them up steadily until you feel the fabric press between your thighs. A soft whimper escapes your throat as you imagine the mess she’s just created—the mix of Rhys’ come with your Queen’s release, now pressing flush against your heat.

The High Queen doesn’t stop there, though.

She elegantly swings a leg over your head as she turns around, settling herself down on your mouth, finally mounting her throne. You moan beneath her, arms already wrapping over her hips to pull her tighter against you.

“Get me cleaned up, will you?” She drawls, hands palming your breasts lightly, thumbing at your nipples before snaking lower. “I can’t very well hold Court with someone else’s release dripping down my thighs.”

You whine as her hand slips between your spread legs, fingers pressing the fabric deeper, rubbing over your entrance, brushing over your clit. She winds her hips, dragging them over you as your tongue laps at her, scooping up the release that’s still coating her cunt.

————

When you at last return to your chambers, Feyre is still sprawled across your bed, laying flat on her stomach, arms and legs stretched wide. Your lips quirk up at the edges.

You walk to her side, “Fey.”

She stirs, eyes cracking open, jolting as she takes you in, stood over her previously sleeping body. “Rise and shine,” you tease, folding your arms over your chest. “Or maybe just rise, since there’s definitely no shining being done. Not down here, at least.”

Her eyes are wary as she looks up at you, observing keenly.

“Sleep well?”

She peers toward the door, then returns her gaze to you. “Where did you go?”

You quirk a brow, before sighing and sitting at the edge of the mattress. She shuffles away, back pressing against the headboard as she brings her knees to her front. “The High Queen called for me,” you explain, meeting her eyes. “I’d assumed Rhys would preoccupy her all morning, but I guess she wanted more today.”

Feyre looks positively disgusted.

You smile, shaking your head. “I’m guessing that look is directed at Amarantha, and not the idea of coupling with a female.” You lean closer to her, pressing against her knees as you watch her steadily. “Since I know you have no opposition to the latter.”

On cue, her eyes dip down to your mouth, your lips quirking as she hastily removes her gaze, flitting back upward.

“Speaking of…” you drawl softly, locking onto the blue-grey of her. You set one hand atop her knee, letting her know you’d seen the traitorous dip of her attention. “…I think you also might want a little more today.” You can feel how her body tenses. Despite not being able to detect the shift in your scent, she innately knows something has changed.

She pulls her legs closer to her body, pressing tighter to the headboard. “You don’t find me ugly…as a human?” Indeed, that’s definitely a spark of self consciousness you can spy beneath her rough exterior. You suppose anyone can wish for beauty, no matter their misfortunes.

“I’ve never once looked at a female and thought she was ugly. Unattractive perhaps, but she would have to be truly vile for me to cast her as ugly, Feyre.” She shifts beneath your touch, managing to hold eye contact—impressive.

“You don‘t…? Amarantha—”

“Is my High Queen. Choose your next words very carefully.” You warn, nails tightening over her knee lightly. “Even in my chambers, the walls still belong to her, as this entire mountain does.” She takes you in with surprising steadiness. You can see why Rhys believes she’ll survive the next task, at least. Maybe even…

You don’t allow yourself to consider it.

“She’s cruel. And twisted. How can you serve her?” Her words are tight; clipped. Verging on hateful. You suppose that’s understandable.

“Do you deny her beauty?”

“Not on her exterior. The way all High Fae are.” Your lips lift into a feline grin. “You find me beautiful? What about Rhysand? He’s equally cruel and twisted, if not more. I’d say I’m the least worrisome of the three.”

“I believe you’re all rotten to the core.”

“Some would argue the same could be said for you. Giving a false name in your stead to escape torture? A huntress raised on brutality and bloodshed? What do you have to say against those claims, Feyre?” You drawl, an edge to your voice.

She stiffens, “I know who I am. I know what I’ve done. And I do not believe myself to be rotten.”

“Neither do it. About myself or you.” You lean closer to her, sharing breath as you stare down at her. “You must understand the nature of things hidden beneath the crust of the earth. We are not always as we seem.”

She has nothing to say to that. Simple watches you carefully, with those predator’s eyes of hers.

“I’m sure you heard,” you begin, “that I will be bringing you to her chambers tonight.” The colour drains from her skin, making her appear paler than she already is, even given a good night’s sleep and a hearty meal.

“No…” she breathes.

“I can offer two options. Either you go in there sober, and catalogue everything you see, use the opportunity to learn more about her, perhaps glean the nature of future trails.” Her eyes flick to you, startled. “Or…I can offer you oblivion. Drink a glass of our wine before we leave. You will not remember a thing. As if it never happened.”

Her hands are trembling.

“You have until tonight to decide.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020

[aeternallis]

KPTS Fic Trope: Kim should grovel / Semi-deep dive commentary of the breakup scene

I've seen a number of fans complaining about this trope, so I wanted to talk about it. XD Before that though, I will admit that I myself don't fully understand this trope--or rather, I'm not really sure what this trope fully entails? Because ngl, it sometimes also feels like readers/writers don't actually mind this trope, just only up to a certain extent.

And for anyone curious, I'm firmly on the camp that KimChay should yell/fight out their problems in the most unhinged manner possible like feral beans with lots of sexual tension to muck through AND with no one else involved cuz for the majority of the show, they were off in their own little world anyway~

But I may be on the minority in that, lol So, I digress.

From what I've gathered of this trope though, I'm assuming it's basically: -Kim begging Chay to talk to him/forgive him/ give him a second chance -Kim's own brothers takes Chay's side -VegasPete is somehow in Chay's affections and gets one up over Kim? -Basically no one is on Kim's side, lol

Depending on the execution of the fic, all or some of these points may be featured in the story in order to get these two lovebirds back together.

And honestly? I think the reason why this trope is so popular but also has its share of detractors is because people are looking for the payback or shall I say, "equivalent exchange" of this scene in particular:

It's arguably their most heartbreaking moment in the series, and I will admit, for some people who've had a bad breakup or two in their lives, it may hit a little too close to home, yknow?

And see, I've brought up the opinion before and will reiterate again that what the audience understands about KimChay's circumstances IS NOT what Chay understands as the character that makes up one half of this semi-canon ship.

And based on your understanding of this (as well as your preference, ofc) lies the difference as to whether you like/hate/feel neutral about this trope.

Sure, we can say that Kim did nothing physically to hurt Chay. We can say that Kim did what he had to do in order to keep Chay safe and not draw him into the dangerous world of the mafia, that he was looking out for Chay's best interests. There's just enough of Kim acting like a simp for Chay in the show to get this point across.

But be that as it may, Chay is not the audience. He's not a mind reader, especially not towards someone like Kim who's already closed off and hard to understand to begin with. Lol

And Chay not being able to read Kim's mind or intentions is not a failing on his part as a character; on the contrary, it's what makes him more human and sympathetic to the audience. There's a difference between emotional intelligence and having confidence in another person's motivations. In which case, I think herein lies the other distinction, if you, as the audience, are either willing to give Chay too much credit, too little credit, or just enough to get the ball rolling.

I think what tends to be forgotten about Chay's character at times is that for all his bravery, boldness, and intelligence (which deserves all the praise in the world, because holy moly, if only I had half his guts, I would get a lot more shit done), Chay is also someone who deeply respects people's boundaries. He's a noble character in that way, and why I think in particular Porsche did such a wonderful job raising him.

And we've seen this a number of times, from their very first meeting. He was brave for asking Kim to be his teacher, but didn't push to persuade him otherwise when Kim couldn't say yes. He was bold in tracking where Kim lives to serenade to him, but knew when he had to back off. And even when he confessed to Kim, there was no expectation of his affections being returned, only that he had wanted to show his gratitude to Kim for letting him do his best, and hoping perhaps that the time they spent together would always remain special to Kim.

In this regard, Chay remains loyal to himself and his steadfast nature without ever pushing for more than what Kim could give. But what made the breakup scene painful I think is not just because Kim made Chay believe that he had never loved him, but also because Kim muddled Chay's understanding of the boundaries between them. I would maybe even go so far as to say that what Kim did to Chay was basically a form of gaslighting.

And in muddling that crucial understanding between them, the full scale of the implications in regards to what Chay must have felt in that moment, in my opinion, cannot be overstated:

-the abject humiliation of having believed that someone had returned your feelings, only for it to be implied otherwise by said someone, no matter what Kim's meaning was with his "I'm sorry" LOL -the doubt and lack of confidence in yourself due to misunderstanding someone, without even knowing it -the fear of having shared so much of yourself, when the other person may not even have wanted nor cared for what you had to share in the first place -the loneliness that comes after having experienced all of these emotions, particularly for Chay who was already feeling left behind by his own brother

It's not a surprise tbh, why Chay chose to pull away from not only Kim after this scene, but also from Porsche, at least on an emotional level. Negative emotions like these tend to spill over to the perception of other relationships in one's life; it's hardly ever only contained to the relationship they originated from.

All of these things are painful human experiences, not just something that fictional characters go through, yknow?

And this is why I think this trope is so popular with the KimChay fic writers to begin with. I imagine that those who have written reconciliation fics that feature this trope are highly sympathetic to Chay's plight due to their own lived experiences, and why, while I myself am not necessarily a fan of it, also choose not to judge it.

It's basically wanting to find that sort of satisfaction in fiction that otherwise isn't always found in reality, using said points in the trope.

Ultimately, Kim is the one who muddled that important understanding between himself and Chay. This being the case, Kim has to be the one to untangle them now, imperatively so for some writers, to the point it's at the cost of losing one's dignity (the begging part) and standing alone (his own brothers don't have his back).

[batsplat]

casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that

oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...

yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?

anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:

like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual

uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think

[kaelidascope]

Director's commentary on Something About Moths and a Flame, please!

Oh this outta be fun LOL OKAY

So the overall story of how this fic was even born in the first place stemmed from 2 things. I had an idea to write about a shameless self-indulgence about having an overabundance of experience with cismen with hardly any queer experience. And the little queer experiences Blake did have were not good reference points. Using myself as a default source of plot devices (lmao) I self-inserted the desire to get the fuck out of my current state and wanting to move somewhere north to start over. Bing bang boom, you got a basic background and motive for Blake

I honestly should've expected the fic would be more than just 'bisexual character experiences sex with a seasoned sapphic character' and trying to manifest positive things in my life by writing it out in fic format (who doesn't do that, really. If anyone says they don't they're a liar). Everything I make always turns out to be something way more than it's original concept so what I ended up with here was a story drawing on personal elements and wanting for an outcome that probably wont happen, but it's nice seeing it happen to the bees anyway

Blake's feelings about relationships represent a time in my life where my opinion was exactly hers. After a lengthy discussion with Sawrin over dissecting this fic, I've come to the realization that Yang also represents a time frame of opinions as well. Only Yang's core design comes from a time waaaaay in the past that honestly, I had forgotten existed. It's nice to see it manifest despite being buried, and certainly gives me something to think about when I reread it from time to time.

Readers of MM and Moths can draw lines between Blake questioning why things are so easy when she's with Yang. It's the same principle across the board for most bee fics that Blake's past hasn't been kind to her. It's an alien feeling to suddenly have things be so easy, but difficult to accept they're easy at the same time. I tried to picture how the fuck would I react if I were in this perfect dream scenario and how stupid would it be after the realization hits. Blake and Yang have been dating this whole time and just never accepted it for what it was based on what other people have lead them to believe what a relationship had to be.

The talk they have when Yang's AC is out and they're laying in her bed with the windows open is in reference to a talk I once had that didn't have the outcome I wanted. It carries the same essence of dismay - both parties knowing they want each other but because of the boundaries at play, cannot have what they want. But in this version it's not one sided.

Overall, it was nice getting able to write from a quietly honest place without having to worry about literally every other realistic factor ever. This is about as textbook 'I wrote this for me cus I wanted something that applied to me' as it gets. The ending is my dream scenario. I fucking hate living with partners I can't do it anymore JKNFKGNKJGFN but it's not easy finding someone else who'd agree with me. So the bees get my lost dream of permanent independence. I wrote this thing in 3 days and I was morbidly sick while I was doing it, too. So I'm sure it's littered with grammatical errors and what have you. But my best friend has always been completely head over heels about this work, and it astounds me how much he sings its praise. I'm always genuinely surprised when others find something to relate to in this work as well. I never expected it to be anything more than just a glance. It's not even smut heavy. I didn't think people cared about fics like that LOL (silly, I know) but I am glad I put it out there and it got the response it did.

[captmickey]

Shoppy talky, feel free to do all or none: where do you get your cute ideas, how long does it take to make something on average, what program and pens are you using when you go digital, do you color drop or eyeball it, what makes you happy and what's kinda flustering about the hobby in general, who do you love drawing most and from which angle~.

I could (and did) read this in Graham's voice haaaaaa~

1 - where do you get your cute ideas It depends? Comedy-wise, it almost always stems from either a- A conversation that was between me and someone else laugh or b- it made ME laugh. I ah... I have a weird rule where if it doesn't make me laugh, I don't make it. However, the cute ideas? It's usually inspired by seeing prompts or thinking of situations that has me kicking my feet, something that makes chest feel all warm like a big ol' hug and a comfort I desperately want to give the character. (Sorry if I'm vague... even I'm trying to think where I get it from.) 2 - how long does it take to make something on average Haaaaaa that one is tricky if only because it depends on the work? Like, okay... drabbles and quick prompts is no more than a few days (rarely, but sometimes, its on the spot), but a comic page, colored doodle or a longer fic takes easily a week at the shortest and a few at the longest. Sea of Adventurers and 3adv as a whole can easily take a few months if only because I'm a perfectionist and tend to revise. A lot... act 8 has been in the works since like, September? And as I write this have only finished chapter 2 of Sea of Adventurers. Out of three.

3 - what program and pens are you using when you go digital So for my basic drawings, I use Clip Studio Paint and honestly I use the generic g-pen or texture pen (depending on I guess the theme? Like the anniversary page was g-pen, but my recent KQ comic was texture pen). However! When I do a comic page, I use both CSP and Medibang.... I prefer the comic font/texture Medibang has but I looooooooove the cleanliness of CSP so I do all my roughs/lineart on CSP (sometimes even color on it) but I transfer it to Medibang for that grayscale coloring/texture.

4 - do you color drop or eyeball it Both! Like, for characters that pre-exist I've color in the past (e.g. Guybrush, Graham or Neese), then I'll pull up either their original source material and color drop. However, if it's one that never existed (e.g. 3adv!Zelda or Mako) then I eyeball the colors until it's appealing to me. However, once it's set and I'm repeating them several times.... color drop~

5 - what makes you happy and what's kinda flustering about the hobby in general What makes me happy is really having the ability TO create? I know it'll sound vain but honestly, there's nothing that delights me more than knowing if there's something I want to see, and I'm not seeing it, I can pull up a computer or sketchbook and get to making what I want (that was literally what stemmed 3adv haaa). I also love seeing how people react to my artwork as a whole... sometimes I'll get comments about it that makes me really sit and go "wow, people like my stuff" and it makes me happy. But on the other side of the coin, the flustering part about it... there is a few things, but it boils down ti having the time and energy and motivation to create. Like, sometimes I want somebody else to come up with the idea and the drawing and so on and so forth. Sometimes my bouts with depression gets the better of me and I can't bring myself to create. Sometimes I find myself with an idea that looks so cool in my head but when I try drawing/writing it, it's just... garbage. And it's frustrating. (And then I boot up Final Fantasy when I grumble how I should be working on making it work). And sometimes it clicks for me at 2 in the freaking morning and I forget to write it down and poof! Gone it goes. Like my sleep.

6 - who do you love drawing most and from which angle~ Hmm... while I do love drawing Link (especially in action shots) and Graham without his hat, I have to say it's my two favorite captains: Guybrush and Number One. Especially from like... the 3/4 angles because of how their hair is floop.

Also Guybrush lowkey became ten times more tolerable to draw once I fixed his hair for 3adv and I really really really really love drawing No1's stache.

[juhbebbie]

Okayyyyy so City of the Dead thoughts for anyone who cares

Was I disappointed? My expectations weren't super high so I guess not, but the super overdramatic self pitying narration threw me off quite a bit. Like okay man chill out a bit. Kind of expected to not see Layla until the end so I guess there I was disappointed but not surprised. Fingers crossed she will be a central character from here on out and not a one and done thing in the series.

Okay elephant in the room time. I know a lot of people have been saying they REALLY did not like it and I really cannot blame them, but also I'm trying to stay hopeful because it just the first issue. I'm hesitant to get pissed off over the total lack of Jake and Steven just yet, when in Mackay's series neither made an appearance until like a year into the run. Yes this series isn't going to be nearly as long, but still. That being said, no I definitely don't expect Moon Knight to really be shown as a system, but I'm gonna give Prepose a couple more issues to prove me wrong (the bar is on the floor). Mainly just because I feel like it would be hypocritical of me to denounce Prepose for not including them and then praise Mackay when it took him 12 issues to really acknowledge that they are a system. I'm going to give Prepose a chance since he wrote a pretty good Black, White, and Blood story that did have them shown as a system in a pretty cool way imo.

All this to say that I'm not trying to undermine anyone else's concerns, this is just my own opinion and trust me, based on what little interviews I've read I fully expect Jake and Steven to be completely ignored and if (and when) that happens I will be right there with the rest of yall lol. I will say that it's already very clear that the set up so far was not written with the intention of having a place for Steven or Jake, which is very disappointing.

Okay positive things! I enjoyed seeing Dr Badr a lot and i didn't have much of an issue with how he and Marc's relationship was portrayed. Yes in the main run they're closer now, but they are still very much at odds but willing to work together towards a common goal, which is exactly what we see here in this issue.

I also liked where the thing with the kid is going. The detail of him being kicked out after his brother's death definitely makes me think he's going to be a reflection of Marc, which would be a cool parallel to have.

And the art for the most part was really gorgeous! I don't know what the hell was going on with Layla there at the end (otherwise great male artists not knowing how to draw women), but other than that I REALLY loved how the actual city looked.

And the Egyptian mythology was actually a lot more accurate than it usually is, which, as someone who has always been a total nerd about that stuff, actually made me really happy. There are several specific things I wanted to point out but this post is long enough as is.

Also. "I don't care if I burn" that was badass as shit come on. One of the (admittedly several!) moments of overdramatic writing that came off very well kind of like how it does in the Mackay run (don't wanna compare this too much to the Mackay run though because I understand it's obviously going to be different and that's fine)

But yeah. The overall feel and tone was very... off. I was on board with the general plot and Marc's motivations but everything around the basic plot structure just seemed like Prepose was trying to do a weird Huston run thing and it wasn't working (I don't think it worked in the Huston run either but I digress).

I've seen people saying that they didn't like how Marc was an enthusiastic follower of Khonshu, but that wasn't really the vibe I got at all? If anything it was pretty clear how much he hated everything he was doing. Which also kinda felt off. Having him say that everything was "punishment" over and over just kind of felt like I was getting hit on the head with a theme that didn't even make sense for the character, at least not at this point. Don't get me wrong, self punishment is absolutely a big part of Marc Spector's character, but there is an important distinction between doing things to right your past wrongs and doing them because you feel like you deserve it. And it seemed like Prepose understood that at first, but then later into the issue I was like Marc PLEASE shut the fuck up about punishment lol.

People more knowledgeable than myself have said things about how this looks from the standpoint that this is also a Jewish character, but all I'm going to say as a general statement for all of Moon Knight's runs is that I wish they would let him be explicitly Jewish more often. It's mentioned in Mackay's run the clash between Marc's service to Khonshu and his Judaism, but I think that that is such an interesting part of his character that needs to be discussed WAY more!

Anyway, to make a long story short, definitely not the strongest first issue, but it absolutely had some great moments and I'm going to go forward with my expectations still pretty low, but willing to give it a shot for Layla's sake. But the fact that a run featuring Layla is already not turning out to be very good is a little bit heartbreaking for me I'm not gonna lie lol. I was going to go and buy myself a copy of this issue, but after actually reading it I didn't really want it anymore. So 😬 fingers crossed for the next issue I guess?

[incomingalbatross]

Amphibia Platonic Soulmates AU Pt 1

(Draft)

I wrote a short intro for this AU and want to share it A) for itself and B) as an experiment to see if this makes me more motivated to write the next part. :P So here it is!

(If you read it and are up for commenting, I'd be interested to hear if the soulmate concept here seems intelligible. Hard to judge how much of the stuff in my head I put down on paper, especially from the POV of someone who considers it normal.)

---

At school, they’d been constantly doodling soulmark designs, drafting new variations on napkins and notebook pages, drawing them in marker on the backs of their hands (which wasn’t super realistic but was visible) and on each other’s shoulders (less convenient, but more like the real thing). It was the cool thing for all the girls in school to do with their best friends, but Sasha had come up with it first.

“It so doesn’t matter if we’re, like, fated soulmates,” she’d said one day at the start of middle school, sketching on top of her math notes during lunch. “We can make our own decisions, right? And show everyone else exactly who they’re dealing with.”

“That’s so cool, Sash!” Anne had agreed, leaning forward to look at her images. Marcy had beamed and nodded vigorously, already working away with her own pencil on design ideas.

Since then, they’d gone through dozens of “official” three-person soulmate marks - cheerleading pompoms, tennis rackets, dice, skateboards, musical clefs, names in English and Mandarin and Thai - drawn on their notebook covers, doodled during classes, sketched on their skin like the real thing. They’d do each other’s shoulders at every sleepover, letting the marks linger until the permanent marker wore off.

Every design had to be approved by Sasha before they put it on anywhere visible, of course - she had the best ideas - and usually the specifics were finalized by Marcy (“Your designs are just too…cutesy, Anne, we don’t wanna look like little kids”). But Anne had the steadiest hands in applying the marker.

“And we have to keep working on it,” Sasha would always remind them. “We want something really cool, really us, by the time we’re eighteen, right? Then we can finally get tattoos and they’ll never wear off.”

Anne…had maybe felt a little uneasy about that. Not that she didn’t want to! It sounded super cool! But the one time she’d mentioned it at home, her parents had looked disapproving in an uncomfortable way, and her mom had said gently, “Are you sure that’s something people should do for themselves? Soulmate marks are special, Anne, and if that’s not exactly what you have with your friends, I don’t think it would be right to pretend you do.”

But like…Shasha was right. Soulmates weren’t so super-rare that they had to be treated like some sacred thing! Soulmarks marked out people who were made to be your other halves, your kindred spirits, but not everyone had those. (Or at least they didn’t meet them, but the odds were way against you either way, so basically same diff.) And wasn’t it just as valid to have a mark for the people you’d chosen as your kindred spirits? The people you’d built those close bonds with by yourself, instead of by weird destiny-magic?

Anne thought it checked out, anyway. And Sasha and Marcy definitely did, and they were her best friends, and that was basically just as important as soulmates. To the three of them, anyway.

And then Anne got zapped to Amphibia (Sasha’s fading marker design still clear on the back of her hand), and met a little pink frog boy whose life she had to save, and who saved her life, and called her a hero and got her a place to sleep that wasn’t a cave…

And the day after meeting him, she was changing into her swimsuit, when she saw a funny patch of color on her skin out of the corner of her eye. A patch of bright blue, on her right shoulder…right where soulmarks were supposed to go.

"HUH."

---

Next time: "Did we just become best friends??"

[kopivie]

y'know, it's kinda funny that i asked myself why i write. over the years, people have asked me that a lot. i've had graded assignments ask me that question quite a bit. "why do you write? what is your motivation for writing?"

...my answers were always pretty bleak. "i write because i'm scared to talk to others." or: "i write because nobody will listen to me." and outside of those assignments, i've never genuinely asked myself why i write.

well.. warning for a big ol' dump here, i guess. this blog is basically a diary, so you know the drill.

the story always starts in the same place: in the back of the empty sanctuary of my childhood church with sunlight pouring in the stained glass windows, the colors pooling on the pages of my blue composition notebook. i was ten years old.

looking back on it now, i don't know why my story starts there. i think that's just the earliest time i can remember getting immersed in the act of writing. kind of like how people describe their earliest childhood memory as the day their consciousness fully developed. but that day was so colorful to me – more so than most days from my childhood. an old friend was plinking tv show tunes on the piano at the front of the sanctuary, a few older kids were chatting away in the frontmost pews, and i was standing at the back on the left side near the window, scribbling in my notebook about... magical girl anime. at the very least, i know why i was writing back then.

back then, i had a friend who was writing her own story. completely original with characters she was drawing as she went. the stories were written in screenplay format in her notebook with little doodles to give the stories some life and... i wanted to do that. i asked her to teach me how to draw – which she did with enthusiasm – but what intrigued me more was the writing aspect. i already had a habit of conjuring up vivid imagery in my head when reading, but the thought of being able to do that myself was amazing to me.

my ten year old brain lacked the creativity to create characters from scratch. naturally, i had to start with something i already loved – something i could easily reference and build up from there – so i started with sailor moon.

sailor moon, tokyo mew mew, pripara, pretty rhythm: aurora dream, precure... (all of which used to be uploaded to youtube with each episode fragmented into three parts, i might add.) ...that's where my writing journey begins. i used to write fanfiction in the same screenplay format. i filled several notebooks cover to cover with my big, messy handwriting. i wish i still had those notebooks. but the point is that i had no need for the artwork – my mind was enough.

i later developed a love for mythology – greek mythology, specifically. it expanded into astrology, anthology, and gemology... i would always weave these things into my works somehow. my love of linguistics would come into play as i'd learn languages and cultures just to use them for the sake of giving my writing more depth.

now that i'm looking back on all of this, i... don't think i ever had a purpose. when i began, i wanted to be like my friend. i wanted to show her that i could do it, too. later, i just wrote because i wanted to create characters in the animated worlds that i loved to lose myself in; it was a form of escapism, i think. it was definitely escapism from high school onward since my mental health worsened from 2017-2022, but before that.. there's nothing.

which is a little scary, y'know? realizing that i lack a purpose – that my writing lacks a purpose. the very hobby i decided to dedicate my future to feels meaningless now.

i wrote to replicate someone else. i wrote to escape my own thoughts; i wrote to comfort myself when i needed affection the most: i wrote to comfort and connect with others, but i also wrote to shield myself from my own reality.

i think the reason why this feeling of existential dread exists is because i'm finally in a place where i'm perceiving myself. for almost a decade now, i didn't want to be perceived by anybody, much less myself. i didn't think of myself as a person. i didn't exist. i was just some worthless lump of meat on this doomed earth who just so happened to know how to string words together. i was irreversibly flawed and unlovable.

i'm at a point where i now know what kind of person i am. i can look back on how broken i once was and be saddened by the pieces. i can finally pick up those pieces and put them together; i can set them aside and start anew using those pieces as a reference. what i'm saying is: i can see myself. i finally know what i look like. (i still don't understand how i look to others, but that's besides the point.)

but when my whole purpose for writing was to avoid that – to avoid seeing myself – what happens now? why do i write?

that's the reason why i haven't written about anything for a while now. i have nothing to hide from. i wither and rot for a few days at a time and then come out stronger, ready to brush it all away and move forward. i never did that before. before, i would wither and rot for months, and write to fill the void. i wrote recklessly and without abandon just to get my feelings out there in hopes that someone would hear my voice and know that i'm alive.

in essence, i saved my life through writing. literature saved my life. but now that i've taken the reins, i don't know what to do.

i refuse to leave it behind. i still have my creative spirit. i still have these passing ideas, these bursts of inspiration that characterized my teenage years. but the flames of passion die quickly without any kindling, leaving me lost. i feel hollow without writing but lighter without my agony weighing me down all the time.

...i'm lost. i don't know what to do. i'm more insecure in my writing than i have ever been in my entire life, and that scares me. i want to try, but there's this... block. a lack of emotion that i can't quite explain. there's more apprehension than there is inspiration, so my creativity shrivels up and dies, leaving me disgusted and horrified by myself. i don't know what to do.

i'm not going to give up.

i'm not. little by little, i will try to find my new meaning. i don't know what it will take for me to find it, but i will. maybe i'll just sit and do some research on my favorite topics when i get home? do some bullet journaling on my favorite things and dedicate time to making pages of my favorite facts. maybe something will blossom then.

[yoinkschief]

Content Warning: Nudity (Nothing explicit or sexually motivated)

Also there's a gigantic fucking rant under here about this bastard I did NOT plan for it to be so long and I have this sinking fear the others will be just as, if not longer

Take this traditional ref sheet because I can't be bothered to make it digital right now

Sheet Translations and explanations cause I have shitty handwriting:

7'2"

Used to be 5'8" but you know how that goes XP

Whoag! He's tall! Seem experimentation can go a long way :)

★Strip/Mafia Tord is the only version of Tord who wears earrings anymore

I used to always draw Tord with earrings, specifically dangling earrings with upside down crosses on them, but more recently I've stopped doing that and instead draw him with only a tongue piercing that him, Tom and Edd all have matching (they tried to convince Matt to also get one but he was worried about it ruining his teeth), so as a way to homage to my previous design and because it fits him too well I gave him diamond studs :)

Hearing aid [picture]

Tord wears a hearing aid! On top of his eye sight being fucked in his right eye and not what it used to be in his left, his hearing also is shot! He needed a hearing aid on his right ear and on top of his processing issues from his ADHD he can't hear as well as he used to in his left ear (not that his loud bass music taste ever really helped)

Has no waist, giving the illusion he has hips (he doesn't)

Shawty's got no hips and no ass, the only meat he has is in his massive bohongas and the only meaty claw he has left, he already had a triangular shape what with his big ass rib cage and zero hips but going to the military made him even more top heavy so now he's even more triangle

Screen [picture]

His robot arm has a screen on it that's basically an apple watch but better because I fucking hate apple,,,, and yes it does say OPPAI on it, it's an inside joke between me and my lovely partner :)

Spectator Shoes [picture]

Because I think he would wear them, and it's a silly nod to his constant need to be in the spotlight and not sitting on the sidelines: that was the whole reason he left to go to the military in the first place, he was sick of being "Edd's friend" and not "Tord" if that makes sense, he needed an out (and just from personal experience of having people I know go to ROTC and/or join the military fresh out of highschool, it's a good wake up call for some, and a horrible fucking power trip for others,,, don't really know how that last one happens when the whole point is to get you to cry to your mom and beg to go home but hey, to each their own I suppose)

[picture] Power Core

Serves to connect to Tord's nerves, forming it into power to move his arm with

The logistics behind this are loose at best and a goofy thought I had at worst, but basically it's something like the workings inside of the bionic arm connect Tord's nervous system to the core which then converts his thought energy/brain's commands into actual movement, which is why he has one at his shoulder (to connect the nerves) and one on his hands (to connect to The rest of his arm, think of it as like the two power cores being connected via invisible string that gets manipulated to pull his hand up, down, to the side, and so on, and the bicep and forearm connected with the elbow allow it to bend more naturally). That's the best way I can explain it

[picture] The coat he wears on his shoulders,,, meant to pay homage to the coat he wears in his 2004 design

Pretty self explanatory, but since he doesn't have his OG coat (because Edd now wears it, more on that when I get to his ref sheet) this is what he's wearing, a big ass mob coat with gold trim as the accents,,,, I spent way too long drawing Zenigata's mandatory oversized detective/inspector trench coat to not somehow find a way to bring it to someone else's design

OMG! He nakey!

Yup. I'm very mature.

Dragon Tattoo [pictures]

Ahh the infamous dragon tattoo HC,,, at least I think it's infamous- I've seen a lot of people with it so, lol. Additionally, he also has a tattoo of Jason Voorhees' mask at the base of his neck/top of his spine, but it's covered by his hair so I didn't think to add it but there's a very cute story behind it: Tord used to have a snake (he bought it as a ball python,,, it was not,,, it was a reticulated python, and he only found out when he didn't stop growing) who he so lovingly named Voorhees because he was white with a grey splotch on his face that Tord swore looked exactly like Jason's mask, so, he got a tattoo to match with his pet snake. Like a queer.

✨Trans✨

I will never miss the opportunity to make Tord trans masc I love him so

[picture] Leads with his chest

Machismo or something, I dunno, but he has the cocky confidence of a bastard type air around him and so in later years he starts leading with his chest after he goes to the military, versus his past, more laid back, lead with his hips. And by laid back I mean both he was more "devil may care" and trying to get laid, because he's got the libido of a dog in a heat thinking he was doing something leading with his hips because all the snoody whores do it in his anime and he hasn't touched grass since he was in college,,, boy howdy was that military a good idea to knock some sense into him (even if that did come with giving him an excuse to be even more power hungry and that much more of an attention whore)

Still has no ass

Yeah. No amout of drills can give him muscle there, and trust that he's tried (mostly out of spite because Tom always made fun of him for having a flatter ass then Matt, a literal twink with scrawny limbs,,, though you shouldn't let that fool you, he's far too strong for how thin he looks. Anyway look at how that turned out: it didn't lmao)

Ouroboros Tramp Stamp

Another fun story to tell :) so, back when Tord lived with Edd and the gang, he got super hyperfixated on Vikings and their symbolism and artworks and whatnot (he recently rewatched all of the How to Train Your Dragon movies and it lead him down a rabbit hole leading him to want to learn more of his ancestry seeing as most Norwegians came from vikings,,, if I remember correctly, do correct me if I'm wrong) and texted them about what Viking tattoos they should get: Tom's was the Viking rune for "Wolf", Matt's was the Yggdrasil, and I can't remember what Edd's was. The reason Tom was Wolf because it just fits him, he's got that "lone wolf" energy to him but he's just a dork who enjoys being around his friends whether he'd say that to their faces or not, and he's fiercely loyal to them to the point where it anyone would be the first to die for their friends in the group it would be him. Matt's is the Yggdrasil because,, well I can't really explain this one, it's just cause it fits really, I dunno how to explain it. Tord is ouroboros because mmmmm the snake that eats itself is just fucking spot ON for Tord, and having it as a tramp stamp is the sweet cherry on top, self destructive habits and a drive to run himself into the ground to satisfy his insatiable need. Tord has no idea if the others got these tattooed on them (they did, and to everyone's surprise Matt also got a tattoo,,, though no one knows that any of the others got their tattoo save for them knowing Tord got his cause duh)

An interesting thing to note if you want is that often times people will get a tattoo of Ouroboros surrounding the Yggdrasil, so you could say Matt and Tord kind of have matching tattoos. And for the storyline, that can be seen as important

Also fun fact: Tord's original tattoo was supposed to be the symbol for lightning as a way to nod at the fact his name "Tord" is a shortened version of "Torden", at least in my headcanon, which means "Thunder" in Norwegian,,, but then I found out that symbol has become a N*zi dog whistle and by god this man does NOT need any more fucking N*zi symbolism in his design can we fucking stop with that. Besides, ouroboros is much better anyway, I think

EDIT: I REMBER NOW - Edd's tattoo was the Web of Wyrd due it being created by the Nords, the Norse mythos' equivalent to the fates, the symbol representing fate and the fact that your past actions have consequences on your future (something something obligatory EDDS-world joke and WTFuture joke) but yeah Edd's got this one like how the others do

- Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

Will Wood + The Tapeworms

- Dogs // Still Bummed

nouns

- BAD LUCK!

Jhariah

- Selfish Hate

JAWNY

Just some songs I was listening to while drawing that I thought fit him a bit and the vibes I was going for, I highly recommend you listen to these songs if you haven't already,,, P.S. for everyone who loved Panic! At The Disco when the band was still together and before Brendon started writing his own lyrics, ruining his voice and came to light to be a piece of shit, I HIGHLY recommend Jhariah, he's him but so much better I fucking love his dogs, his albums give the same vibes as the Vices & Virtues and A Fever You Can't Sweat Out albums,,, and I couldn't help myself I love Will Wood holy shit

Time for an info dump about Tord in this AU,,, be prepared it's so fucking long this has been stuck in my head for forever pleASE-:

Obviously, The End Part 1 & 2 are canon in this series, but Tord has absolutely zero regrets about it - he can't, otherwise all the work he's done is for naught,,, although it wasn't planned; his original plan WAS to move back in with Edd, settle down and continue his operations in London with his buds without them ever knowing cause he missed them, however, they got to nosey and so he had to abort with what he was hoping to have finished (the giant robot) but was unable to due to, well, Tom

"but how come Tord was trying to kill Tom, then, if this wasn't what was planned?" Because it was fucking funny, Kyle/ref,,,, also because as a side note: Tom canonically cannot die, or at least, hasn't found anything that can yet and he's not at the old age for that yet. He has what I like to call "Deathly Immortality", or "Cartoonish/Looney Toons Immortality" where he "dies", but then comes back like nothing happened and no one mentions it as any different

Tord has something similar, as well, but instead it's more of "Unfortunate/Spiteful Immortality" or "Anime Immortality" in the sense of where Tom dies and pops back up like a toon character, Tord is like an anime antagonist who just won't die, like William Afton he always comes back but in worse and worse state (He also got sick an ungodly amount in his youth until his body was like fuck it and actually gained an immune system for every illness he kept getting lmao,,, pollen still wrecks his ass though)

Afterward The End Part 1 & 2, Tord poured his full attention into his mob, experiments, and his projects, the thing he was basically trying to use his friends as a front for before Tom got too smart, since he was having trouble not being homesick for his previous life before he went to the army and got power hungry,,, guess you can't be homesick for something that doesn't exist anymore LMAO, anyway- in pouring himself into his work, he buys an "entertainment building", as he calls it, to launder his money: Midnite. Because he thinks he's clever or something misspelling Midnight. Midnite is basically like, all sorts of things rolled into a skyscraper, each floor has a different thing: A restaurant, a casino, an arcade, a strip club, wink wink nudge nudge, but basically this is where he holds meetings and such with his money laundering

Strip/Mafia takes place I'd say... Three? Years after The End? Long enough for Tord to get way too much shit done but short enough that bitter feelings are still felt between the gang for Tord and from Tord

Yes TomTord is canon, but let me tell you this is god's slowest candle wick, because Tom fucking GOES THROUGH IT in this story man, cause everyone's going every which direction, suddenly changing and leaving and he hates it in general because mmm parental issues of dead parents who left too early, the fact that he's autistic and fucking hates sudden changes, the fact Tord is alive is enough to piss him off, it's just all around not a good time for him and so the TomTord is very Tord sided. He's always had a fascination with Tom since highschool, but didn't really understand what it was until he had to be told to his face by who was supposed to be his significant other 💀 but Tord enjoys Tom because he truly is the only one who was able to keep him on his toes in his youth as he got older it grew deeper and he gained a bigger appreciation for Tom and his knack for always being able to throw Tord off his guard,,, to be fair though that's mostly because Tord relies on his quick wit, luck, and the gullibility of others; he's not really good at long term planning and thinking versus Tom who is amazing at pattern recognition and planning long term and for this that could go wrong, in other words, thinking and planning ahead

Additionally, Edd sided TordEdd, too, because love triangles or something, except they both are like bordering narcissistic personality disorders so it really would not be good for either of them to get into a relationship with each other, not that Tord really wants to (anymore? He kinda had a thing for Edd in highschool at the beginning but fell out of it pretty quickly, which, fun fact, is an ADHD thing: Edd gave him instant gratification and euphoria so, like people with ADHD tend to do, he fixated on it, but slowly fell out of it once he stopped thinking with his excitement about having a new friend who actually paid attention to him), but Edd is CONVINCED Tord is just doing all of this for attention from him like he's begging Edd to "save him" (he's definitely not) because Edd "doesn't have a savior/hero complex, stop telling people that omlll" so that's always fun

Errr trying to think of more to say without just writing out an entire book or just showing pictures of the OG script I wrote for it JGXXGJJXG

Feel free to ask any questions oml this AU is stuck in my head I seriously can't keep it contained any longer

OH

Drag/Street racing exists and is a big(?) part of this lmao,,, I mean kinda, it kicks off Tom slowly beginning to rekindle his feelings for Tord and shows Tom's relationship with Paul and Patryck from when they met in college along with Tord

Hooo boy college alone would be a lot to explain, so much shit happened in college but it technically isn't super important to the story? Besides the Paul and Patryck meeting Tom and Tord thing, ofc, but like what happened in college follows my general timeline headcanon of Eddsworld and it's a lot to explain when most of it just gives reason as to why Tom and Tord hate each other/bicker a lot when they move in together and gives a more in depth reading of their relationship and behaviors, moreso as to why they fell into stuck a pitiful state (butterfly affect baby, ONE action called them to both fall over the edge)

Also, I have a list of people I've based/referenced for Tord as Red Leader and it goes as follows:

Gustavo Fring - Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul

Professor Venomous - O.K. K.O., Let's Be Heroes!

Lord BoxMan - O.K. K.O., Let's Be Heroes!

Bill Cipher - Gravity Falls

Dr. Robotnik - Sonic Franchise

Yes I'm aware how chaotic that listing is lmao, but to be fair when I think Red Leader I think calculated and cunning like Fring and Venomous, but also stupid loony silly like BoxMan,, and of course a menace to society like Cipher and Robotnik

That's all for Tord I believe,,, I'll do more soon I'm sure

One last Tord appreciation:

Have I expressed how much I love drawing people's torsos, I think they're gorgeous