#I always feel like I am using drugs to escape this hell that is my life. Sleeping all day and having aggressive thoughts

[hioitself]

I hate when my friends post those "this month is over, post 6 pics you took this month and bla bla bla" because most of the times I don't even have 6 pics I took in the month that are not me because I probably spent the whole month rotting in my bed thinking about the worst thing that could possibly happen to me in that state

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Not A Verstappen: A New World {5}

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: Pressure seems to be coming from all directions and it's only a matter of time before you explode. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, mention of drugs, angst WC: 2k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six

Silverstone Grand Prix Lando hadn’t stopped moving all night. If he wasn’t dancing, he was circling the club and talking to everyone that had come out to celebrate his second place finish at his home race, or DJing. His excitement had been infectious enough to replace the disappointment from the seventh place finish for you and the ninth place for Charles. 

“Mamour, dance with me,” Charles begged as he appeared behind you, a drink in one hand and the other on the small of your back. His palm rubbed soothing circles and you leant back into the touch with a groan. “Does your back still hurt?”

The porpoising of the car had been horrific and even Kristian’s hands hadn’t been able to ease the ache after the race, but you didn’t want Charles to worry as you turned to face him. “Yeah, it’s sore from carrying my team.”

His laugh warmed your ear before his cold lips kissed the space beneath. “That’s my girl.”

“Yes I am, now where is our boy?” You scanned the crowd looking for Lando but instead found his parents dancing together and sharing whispers. “I was always jealous of you guys.”

“For what?”

“That. Having parents that loved each other. I thought I was missing out on something,” you said with a nod to Adam and Cisca before clearing your throat at the unexpected wistfulness that arose. “I’m just going to get some fresh air. Why don’t you find Lando and I’ll meet you there?”

You didn’t wait for an answer as you escaped the busy room to the balcony on the upper level. Clouds of flavoured smoke greeted you from the people who had gone to vape where they were allowed and you squeezed through until you found a small pocket of space in the back corner. 

“You look like you could use this more than me.”

You looked at the joint the stranger offered, more than likely some friend of a friend of Lando’s, and you raised your hand to wave away the smoke that drifted your way. “No, thank you.”

“Go on, it’ll help you relax.”

“I don’t need to relax, alright, so just fuck off would you?”

“Woah, lovie, calm down,” he laughed before taking a long drag and blowing the bitter sweet smoke in your face.

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” you bit out, barely feeling the burn of the spliff in your palm as you snatched it from him. “And I’m not your fucking ‘lovie’-”

“Baby. Babe! What’s going on?” Lando slid between you, forcing the stranger back as he took your hand and swore. “What the hell did you do, Jakob?”

“Nothing, bro, you’re girl looked like she was stressing,” Jakob said with an innocent shrug. “I was just trying to help.”

“H-help?!” you stammered as your hands turned to fists with the growing anger burning hotter than your hand. “I would lose my seat you fucking imbecile. Your idiot friend was trying to get me to smoke weed.”

“Why are you getting angry at me?” Lando asked as he stepped back. “I was coming to see if you were alright. Just calm down for a second, love.”

You had seen Romain Grosjean’s car explode when he crashed in Bahrain, heard the audible pop that rippled through the air before the wall of flames erupted. You imagined that something similar was happening inside you. “Don’t tell me to calm down,” you hissed quietly as you felt the stares of everyone on the balcony. “This is fucking calm.”

Lando’s eyes were wide as he reeled back, his jaw dropping at the tone you took. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I guess I am my father’s daughter.” You felt your lips tugging though there was nothing to smile about and it was as if you were a passenger in your own body. You couldn’t control the words as they tumbled out of your mouth with a harsh laugh. 

You looked at the joint in your hand, an angry blister appearing where it had burnt you, and saw the tip was still aglow. Rolling it in your fingers you started to lift it to your lips as you wondered what it would taste like, if it would relax your racing mind and tired body. 

“We’re leaving,” Lando growled as he grabbed your wrist and started to drag you back inside, the joint falling to the floor.

“What happened?” Charles asked the moment he saw the hard look on Lando’s face and tight grip on your limp arm. 

“I don’t know, ask Spitfire. Miss Verstappen here is starting fights and taking drugs now apparently.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“Maybe Daddy Dearest and I can share a cell one day, work on that father/daughter bond we never had,” you laughed darkly. “Oh wait, no we can’t because he only got home detention and gets to spend all day with Kelly and Blue playing happy families.”

“Non, non, your lawyer said Jos would get three years minimum,” Charles said as he looked between you and Lando with disbelief. “His stunt could have killed you.”

“I know. I was there, funnily enough.” You shifted on your feet wishing you hadn’t worn heels and you debated kicking them off. “At least Blue doesn’t have to grow up without a dad - at least she will think he gives a shit about her.”

Lando’s fingers eased their grip from your wrist and slipped down to hold your hand. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. It would only upset you and it doesn’t bother me - I have a restraining order against him.”

“But it is obviously bothering you, baby,” he said as he shared a look with Charles. “We’ve both noticed you’ve been acting a little crazy for a while.”

“Well I only found out after we got here so thanks for that. Look, I’m just going to head back to the hotel and find mum.” You pulled away from them as the laser lights caught the shimmer of tears running down your cheeks. “I don’t want to ruin your night any more than I already have.”

“Wait, no,” Lando argued as he took a step after you, tripping over the heels you had slipped off before disappearing into the crowd and missing his quiet words, “you haven’t ruined anything.”

Your feet ached from the run to the hotel and your boobs weren’t feeling much better. The clubbing dress wasn’t exactly one that a supportive bra could fit under so you felt each slap of your feet on the pavement reverberate up your body and bounce them uncomfortably. A few people stared as you rushed by but most people out at the late hour had their own problems to deal with rather than worrying about the person running like a madwoman down the street. 

“Am I crazy?”

Your mother looked a little perplexed as she opened the door to her suite wider to let you in, her eyes narrowing at your bare feet as you walked past panting. “Is this a serious question or rhetorical?”

“I’m being serious, mum.”

“Well,” she said as she pointed to the couch and turned off the TV that was playing the evening news, “I think you are safe if you’re asking that. Most crazy people wouldn’t ask if they are crazy.”

You fell into the couch heavily and rubbed your temples furiously. “There’s something wrong with me though.”

You felt the seat beside you sink in as she sat down before she pulled your hands away. “Why do you say that, honey?”

“I don’t know, I just feel off. Unbalanced. I keep fucking things up with Lando and Charles and I know one day they will get sick of it and leave me. And I wouldn’t blame them.”

“Those boys love you, and what you three have is special but relationships are hard, sweetheart. They take time and energy to maintain. You have to work to keep them going strong, work on both the relationship and yourself.” She paused as she looked at your hands in hers, your nails almost non-existent from the biting habit that had resurfaced in recent months. “What's really on your mind? I haven’t seen you this stressed since your first karting race.”

“Fuck,” you swore under your breath as you pulled your knees up to your chest and wiped your eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing, mum. Last year I had Max on my team and I knew he had my back, now I feel like I have a target on mine.”

“I thought Lawernce was pleased with your work.”

“Points equal money so Lawrence is happy, but Lance is struggling more than me at getting them lately. The upgrades just aren’t doing enough and the further I get ahead in the standings the tenser things are with him, but I need to push harder. I have no hope of beating Max or Checo without the RB19, so, so, so maybe I’m just not that good a driver like everyone said.”

“Oh, honey,” she cooed softly as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders and tucked you into her side. “You are a great driver, no matter the car.”

“I want to believe that but I’m second guessing myself over every decision I’ve made and it makes me so angry that I’m snapping at everyone around me, especially Charles and Lando. I know I’m the problem, mum, I just don’t know how to fix me, or if I even can be…What if there’s just too much Verstappen in here?” Your fist slammed against your chest and as if to prove your point the sound was as hollow as you felt.

Sitting up straight, your mother gave you the look that made you shift uncomfortably before her lips parted. “You listen to me, and you listen well: you are not broken, and there is nothing to ‘fix’. Max, Victoria and Blue all share the same blood as you and they are not broken either. You are more than who your father is and there is nothing wrong with being a Verstappen.”

“Then why didn’t you call me that? If it’s not that bad, why isn’t it on my birth certificate?”

Your mother sighed deeply and she suddenly looked tired - as if her age was catching up with her at the late hour. “Honey, I was your age when I found out I was pregnant. I was young and heartbroken and alone.” 

You couldn’t blame her, you could hardly imagine trying to raise a kid alone, especially one that was a reminder of what was probably the worst betrayal she had faced. It had probably put her off ever wanting another relationship again. “How come you never dated anyone after Jos?”

“I dated other men, honey. I didn’t become a nun,” she teased with a nudge of her shoulder. “You just never met any of them.”

You tried not to think about the nun statement too much but you couldn’t help asking, “Why?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Because you are the most precious gift I ever received and I wasn’t going to bring just anyone into our home. The only man I wanted to bring home was one prepared to be a father to you, we were a package deal.”

Your brows pinched together as you understood yet another sacrifice she had made for you growing up. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You’ll understand it when you’re a mother one day - when you’re older, much older, and retired from racing.” She patted your knee twice at the knock on the door and stood up to open it. “Evening gentlemen, come to collect our Champ?”

You looked to the door and found Lando leaning against the frame with your heels hanging from his fingertips. Charles stood beside him with a hand on his waist.

“Actually, we were wondering if we could have a family meeting.”

Click here for the next part.

[peleksstuff]

escape 111. | rafe cameron x pogue!reader

*gifs not mine*

heres part 3 sorry for the late update been busy i promise maybe ahahaha every 50notes i’ll post the next part and tytyty for the notes still

•••••

one

two

“You have to stop doing this,” you said, breaking the silence, though your voice was softer, almost teasing. “Saving me. Or… whatever this is.”

———————

The familiar, grimy alleyway led to the back door of the dive bar where your father often hung out. It was a place you had tried to avoid, but the weight of the rent money in your pocket felt heavy, reminding you of the responsibilities you had to fulfill, even when it felt utterly unfair.

You’d always wished for a different life for him, for you—one where drugs didn’t hold such a tight grip on him.

You stepped through the door, the stale air hitting you like a wall. The dimly lit room was filled with a mix of laughter, loud voices, and the clinking of glasses.

In the corner, you spotted your father slouched in his seat, a drink in one hand and a joint in the other. He looked disheveled, the toll of years spent chasing highs etched into his features.

You hesitated, taking a deep breath before making your way over to him.

As you approached, you caught sight of Rafe sitting at the bar. His expression shifted slightly as he noticed you, a flicker of recognition flashing in his eyes, but you both quickly averted your gazes, pretending not to see each other.

You weren’t here to engage with Rafe.

“Hey, Dad,” you said, forcing a smile as you reached his table. “I brought you some money.”

“Yeah? How much?” he replied, his voice hoarse and uninterested.

You pulled out the envelope and placed it on the table, trying to ignore the overwhelming smell of cigarettes and alcohol that clung to the air.

“Two hundred. I’ll get you the rest by the end of the month,” you said, your heart sinking at the thought of the upcoming conversation.

“Two hundred?” He scoffed, narrowing his eyes. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Rent is due. You know I need more.”

“I know,” you replied, your voice steady despite the frustration simmering beneath the surface. “But it’s all I have right now. I promise I’ll get you the rest soon.”

His expression twisted with anger. “This is pathetic! You think this is enough? Get the hell out of my face!”

You could feel the tension in the room heightening, eyes beginning to glance your way as your father’s voice rose. In that moment, he swung his hand, landing a harsh slap across your face.

The sting sent shockwaves through your body, and you tasted blood as your lip split open. A few people nearby gasped, their whispers growing louder, but you were used to this��used to the way he lashed out when he didn’t get his way.

Without a word, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the bar, the hurt still fresh but the pain familiar. You just wanted to escape, to get away from the stares, the whispers, the chaos.

“Hey!” a voice called from behind you, and you didn’t have to look to know it was Rafe.

You quickened your pace, but he caught up to you, grabbing your arm to stop you.

“Wait,” he said, his tone demanding yet not aggressive.

“Just leave me alone,” you snapped, pulling your arm free.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern flickering across his face, though he masked it with indifference.

You hesitated, glancing down at your bruised cheek.

“I’m fine. Just… stupid family stuff,” you said, trying to brush it off, but the tremor in your voice gave you away.

He studied you for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he assessed your injuries. “You’re clearly not fine.”

“I said I’m fine,” you insisted, your voice wavering as you tried to maintain your composure.

Rafe exhaled sharply, frustration etched across his features.

“I don’t need your help,” you shot back, but the truth was, you didn’t have the energy to argue anymore.

“Too bad,” he replied, his expression softening slightly. He nodded toward his truck.

You hesitated, your instincts screaming at you to refuse, but the prospect of being alone and thinking about what just happened was far worse.

Finally, you relented and climbed into the passenger seat, feeling the familiar warmth of the truck envelop you.

Rafe started the engine, the rumble of the truck providing a comforting background noise as he drove away from the bar.

You tried to steady your breathing, your cheek still stinging from your father’s slap, your lip sore where it had split open.

Despite the ache, it wasn’t the pain that bothered you—it was the way you had grown used to it. That thought alone made your stomach churn.

As Rafe pulled the truck over to a secluded spot, away from the bar and the prying eyes of anyone who might have seen the scene with your dad, you wiped a hand over your face, trying to compose yourself.

You could feel his gaze on you, the silence thick with unspoken tension. You didn’t look at him, but you could sense it—that quiet concern radiating off of him in waves, even though he didn’t say a word.

"Let me see your face," Rafe finally muttered, breaking the silence.

You turned toward him reluctantly, and his eyes flicked to the bruising on your cheek and the cut on your lip.

There was no anger or judgment in his expression, just a heavy, concerned gaze that lingered a second too long.

Rafe reached into the glove compartment, pulling out a small first-aid kit, his movements deliberate but calm.

He opened the kit, pulling out a few antiseptic wipes. His hand hovered near your face, his hesitation surprising you.

"Hold still," he said quietly, leaning closer to gently dab at your lip with one of the wipes. The sting of the antiseptic bit at your skin, but you barely flinched.

His eyes flickered back and forth between your lip and cheek, his brow furrowed slightly in concentration. He didn’t say anything, but the look on his face—the way his jaw was set tight, the crease in his forehead—told you enough.

For someone like Rafe, who always wore a mask of indifference, this small, focused act of care said more than words ever could.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked softly, trying to read the expression in his eyes.

He looked up briefly, meeting your gaze, but said nothing. The silence stretched between you, filled only by the sound of rain on the roof.

As he continued to clean the blood from your lip, you couldn’t help but notice the way his hand trembled slightly when it brushed your skin.

He was trying to hide it, to maintain that same cool, detached demeanor, but you could tell he was affected. It was strange seeing this side of him.

When he finished with your lip, he pulled back slightly, his eyes narrowing as he studied the bruise forming on your cheek.

His hand lifted again, fingers hovering just over the swelling. For a moment, he hesitated, his expression tightening as if he was torn between wanting to fix something that couldn’t be fixed.

His eyes met yours again, and this time there was no mistaking the worry there. Rafe wasn’t one to show emotion easily—if ever—but in that brief second, you saw it. Concern. Maybe even fear.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice softer now, the rough edge it usually carried gone.

You almost laughed at the question, but the look on his face stopped you.

“It’s fine,” you said, your voice sounding far more tired than you intended. “I’m used to it.”

His eyes darkened at your words, and he clenched his jaw as if he was holding something back. There was a flash of something behind his gaze—anger, maybe, but not directed at you.

You could tell he was trying to keep himself in check, trying not to show how much it bothered him.

But the way his eyes lingered on your face, the way his hand gently traced the edge of the bruise without actually touching it—he didn’t have to say anything for you to know he hated what he saw.

After a moment, he shook his head slightly, as if shaking off whatever thoughts were running through his mind.

He tossed the used antiseptic wipes aside and leaned back against the seat, exhaling slowly. The air between you felt thick, heavy with the weight of things left unsaid.

“You have to stop doing this,” you said, breaking the silence, though your voice was softer, almost teasing. “Saving me. Or… whatever this is.”

Rafe’s gaze flicked to you, his expression unreadable for a moment before he let out a low, humorless chuckle.

“Yeah, well,” he muttered, “you’ve got a habit of ending up in shit situations.”

You managed a small smile, though the ache in your lip made it difficult.

“Maybe. But you’re starting to make it your job to pull me out of them.”

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just stared ahead, his fingers tapping absently against the steering wheel. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, more serious.

“No one should have to go through that. No girl. No kid.”

There was something in the way he said it—something that made you pause. His words weren’t just about you; they carried the weight of his own experience.

You could see it in the way his expression hardened, the subtle tension in his body.

You turned to him, studying his profile in the dim light of the truck.

“Your dad… does he..” You trailed off, unsure if you should even ask.

Rafe glanced at you, a flash of something crossing his face before he quickly looked away.

"It’s not the same," he muttered, but his voice was tight, almost defensive. You didn’t push any further, sensing that whatever he was hiding, it wasn’t something he was ready to share.

Rafe might not have been on the receiving end of physical abuse like you, but it was clear he understood something about living in the shadow of a father’s cruelty.

Maybe not the same kind of abuse, but enough to know what it felt like to be stuck in a situation you couldn’t control.

You let the silence stretch between you again. After a moment, you turned back to face the windshield, feeling the weight of the unspoken understanding between you.

Neither of you said it, but it was there—a mutual recognition of the ways your lives were shaped by the people you couldn’t escape.

four

[alien2835]

HUGE TMAGP 26 SPOILERS

i’ve listened to the episode twice and i’ve collected all my thoughts into this neat bullet point list.

this was a hell of an episode, i’m sure i’ll have more to say soon, but here’s my thoughts after two listens:

-the statement subject claimed words “tumbled out” of mr. jared’s mouth while he was running laps, he seemed compelled. it is unclear how the victim knew about the creature, as it only seemed to appear after he had fallen. additionally, running laps seems like a poor way to evade a pursuer.

- the archivist, which identified itself as such—specifically it called itself “an archivist” not the archivist. it was “a figure, tall and thin and still in shadow even in the morning sun.” this matches the description of jon when people see him in their dreams. the subject could not see the archivist’s face, but still claimed that he could feel it looking at him “from everywhere.”

- i am now convinced that the [error] creature in TMAGP 21 is an archivist. it is likely that these archivists are the same former archivists that jon said roamed the panopticon.

- the archivist held a tape recorder and captured the victim’s last words. the subject implied that the archivist caused the victim’s death, but that would be inconsistent with jon’s behavior in season 4 when he was seeking out “fresh” statements. he always watched, never intervened or directly tried to harm or kill anymore.

- “but that is when he screamed, his mouth tearing wide open.” the use of the pronoun he suggests that the subject is referring to mr. jared, but it could have been the archivist screaming.

- alice is very rattled that the creature called itself an archivist, and she’s worried they helped it escape. it is likely that it escaped when sam and alice visited the magnus institute.

- celia said that’s not how an archivist should behave.

- helen is a realtor in this reality. she knows the magnus institute well but has not had any contact with its members in the last “20 years.” coincidentally, we know that jon and martin were said to have died about 20 years ago in this reality. helen helped the institute acquire some properties (with large basements) but it is unclear if helen ever gave a statement.

- this helen has a very unsettling laugh, reminds me of michael distortion.

- celia tells sam “it felt like we were being watched for a moment” while sam is playing with her baby.

- celia’s baby is a tory.

- at the very end of the episode after celia says “good,” you can hear a bottle fall to the floor suddenly, as if sam fell unconscious. in these last few lines of dialogue celia’s voice sounds different in a way that’s hard to describe. i think celia drugged him. also, was that a kiss I heard before the bottle fell? the incident elements listed in the episode description seem to confirm that.

[anarchyrpbook]

THE ASHES & THE STAR-CURSED KING ── PART IV a roleplay sentence meme with various quotes and sentences taken from carissa broadbent's the ashes & the star-cursed king. feel free to tweak as needed. content warning: foul language, mentions of violence/murder, suggestive themes

not sure anything about either of us is normal.

don’t feed yourself to the wolves. know when your bite isn’t strong enough.

that leaves us to figure out how to get back into the castle we barely escaped alive. 

now that we’ve established that we’re fucking insane.

it’s been a while since i’ve been underestimated.

if i remember right, this is the part where we come up with some kind of brilliant, twisted plan.

i am definitely going to get an infection from this.

did you really think that i wouldn’t account for you?

that wasn’t a fair fight. they drugged me. and surprised me.

you’re finally taking me up on my offer?

challenging has never scared us before.

pretty trouble. i warned you of that, once.

you have my full loyalty and respect, highness. even if your decisions are not the ones i would make.

you thought because i was his, because he was fucking me, that he told me things.

loving someone is a dangerous thing. more dangerous still for a king.

men and their secrets, we spend a lifetime trying to unravel them, and once they’re gone, we’re still at their mercy.

if that’s all, i’d like to wash the sewage off of myself.

you’re too perceptive for someone with such bad people skills.

i’m still not sure that you’re not going to fuck me over.

obviously you’re mad, so what the hell are you mad about?

i shouldn’t have killed him.

maybe we’ll be dead by then, and it won’t matter.

i’m sorry that it happened to you. i’m sorry that i couldn’t stop it. i’m sorry that you had to fight this alone.

he asked me if i wanted to live. what the hell kind of a question is that? of course i wanted to live.

i’ve always admired that about you. that you fought even when you were afraid.

i just want you to know that you were the best part of it. the best part of all of it.

you accuse me of going soft when you’re spewing that sappy bullshit?

you have teeth too, show them that bite.

be careful. he doesn’t deserve to kill you.

go to the armies. go lead them away.

this is my kingdom. this is my castle. do not let anyone take it from me.

but oh, what a death it will be.

how many times have i told you, you can’t do that?

it’s not that hard to topple a kingdom.

don’t you ever do that to me again, never fucking again.

i didn’t think you would remember me.

fate, it’s beyond mortal understanding.

i thought you were dead. for a long time.

i never thought i would see you again.

you haven’t bathed since you’ve gotten here, have you?

we go down fighting in the name of blind fucking hope.

we would be honored to have your men fighting beside us.

you go, i’ll hold them off with the others.

give them fucking hell, alright? don’t you dare let him win.

[emmabirb8]

Ok ok, but have you thought about the fact that throughout the series, Nandor has saved or protected Guillermo's life just as much as Guillermo has saved and protected Nandor's? Because I have, and I am feeling Ways about it.

Obviously, Guillermo has always gone  above and beyond for Nandor as far as familiar duties go, and he has slain countless vamps to protect not only Nandor but also the rest of the household. It's a given and it's been a given from the start that Guillermo would do anything to keep Nandor (and his other housemates by extension) safe. He has outright said they are his found family, and it definitely shows. 

Well, in a slightly subtler way, the case is the same for Nandor. God, the things that Nandor has done for Guillermo - the risks he's taken, the knee-jerk reactions, the choices he's made? It is profound.

Consider that Nandor a. as a vamp is not expected to care about his familiar beyond using him as a tool to get things done, b. believes acting "aloof," aka unbothered and unconcerned, is key, and most importantly c. struggles heavily with identifying, working through, and expressing his emotions. AND YET, without even stopping to think about it, he:

Stepped in to stop that hungry vamp at Simon's club (Manhattan Night Club)

Refused to let Guillermo be eaten by the Vampiric Council (The Trial)

Stopped Topher from drowning him (Resurrection)

Kept Guillermo's slaying a secret after discovering that he had dusted Carol (The Return)

Told Celeste to "be kind to Guillermo" when he thought she was gonna be his new vampire mistress (arguably, this counts bc he was making an effort to ensure Guillermo would be treated well and kept alive under Celeste's watch) (Collaboration)

Defended him against the wrath of Nadja and Laszlo (the housemates Nandor has known, lived with, and loved for far longer than he's known Guillermo) who were 100% prepared to kill him every single night for a month while he was imprisoned in the basement (The Prisoner)

"Yanked" Guillermo away from the line of fire when he was acting as bait for The Sire and attempted to fix the situation himself (The Escape)

Immediately dove into the sewage hole in the floor to rescue Guillermo when he fell in (Reunited)

Volunteered to battle him in place of a more dangerous vampire at the Night Market (The Night Market)

Made sure he was okay at the end of the fight after pretending to snap his neck (The Night Market)

Nandor is the KING of repression, but actions speak louder than words, babes. This is not even counting the times he has shown outward kindness, affection for, and attachment to Guillermo to the point where it's entirely too conspicuous for anyone to believe he's not in love with him. (Tho he's apparently managed to fool himself well enough, hasn't he? lmao) 

Hell, I'm in a listing mood - let's recount those moments too, shall we?

Just off the top of my head, Nandor has canonically also:

Made Guillermo a glitter portrait depicting the two of them together as vampires as a gift to celebrate his anniversary of becoming his familiar (that he was clearly proud of and excited about and that clearly took a lot of effort and planning ❤) in the very first episode 

Held him up above his head to help him reach higher places when dusting and held him up in front of a mirror so he could experience the sensation of flying (like what vampire does that fr???? he was down bad even in the earliest eps) 

Become a blubbering mess worrying where Guillermo was while high on drug blood 

On multiple occasions actually took him flying by wrapping his arms tenderly around him 👀, then admitted he was his friend out loud in front of Nadja and the camera crew as early as ep 4 after feeling guilty about accidentally dropping him during a flight

Played chess with him (and it's implied this is a regular thing for them 🥹)

Been visibly upset each time Guillermo has left - it's heavily implied he missed even the smallest gestures like the hand holding, and he outright verbally expressed his hurt feelings in front of the entire Theatre des Vampires

Been distraught enough after the Celeste situation that he attempted to "win" Guillermo back first by talking to him and then by giving him another gift with the "beating off" pillow, and then actually complied with Guillermo's requests to be more respected and given breaks after that

Taken the time to go down and keep Guillermo company while he was imprisoned in the basement and made a genuine attempt to give him better quality food

Urged Nadja and Laszlo to treat Guillermo with more respect and to try to take an interest in his life at the casino

Reacted in a way that wasn't even the slightest bit angry (and in fact, he appeared grateful for it besides becoming excessively horny on main) about The Slap

Said he has "grown to have some affection for" Guillermo out loud to his face (which, for someone as repressed as Nandor, is huge)

Offered a very blatantly romantic turning scenario in which he expressed a desire to share soil with Guillermo, which, again, is huge 

Become markedly upset that Guillermo never showed up at the train station to accompany him on his trip

Started making steps in the direction of reversing their dynamic in s4 by doing things like helping Guillermo dry off and getting him a glass of water after he fell into the hole, paying more genuine attention to him and his life, expressing a desire for Nadja and Laszlo to be more serious and respectful of him, valuing his input (esp for the dick wish), and being appreciative of all the work he has constantly put in for him (whenever using his new penis 😏) 

Offered Guillermo the position of best man at his wedding which was clearly of utmost importance to Nandor, even more so than finding someone to marry in the first place 

Actually remembered the exact amount of years Guillermo has been his familiar/bodyguard and called him his "closest companion" in front of lots of other (arguably dangerous) vampires 

Been so excited and proud of Guillermo's moves when he was battling other familiars at the Night Market to the point of exclaiming "that's my fucking guy!"

Called Guillermo his friend out loud again when he got visibly worried he may have killed him

Admitted to Guillermo that he was afraid right before his wedding (!!!!), looked at Guillermo longingly/lovingly, accidentally revealed his desire to literally hug Guillermo close and kiss his face through his wish about Marwa (!!!!!!), and took a moment to whisper sweet nothings to Guillermo and cover him up when he discovered he'd fallen asleep (!!!!!!!!!)

Dorkily but sweetly prevented Guillermo from falling in the bg shot of Go Flip Yourself (like, truly, why would he care omfgggg he's so in love it's making him look stupid)

Actually made a very misguided but solid follow-through attempt to fix the Freddie situation as soon as he realized how upset Guillermo was about it

IT'S JUST SOOOO MUCH!!! I've been going through the series highlighting Nandermo moments for creative idea purposes in these last few weeks, and I can honestly say that I believe there are possibly more instances where Nandor has hinted at or displayed his feelings toward Guillermo than there are of Guillermo hinting at or displaying his feelings for Nandor. It's fucking insane you guys. 💖

[cecilebutcher]

ღMelanie Martinez songs I associate with twst boysღ

!!Don’t like,it does nothing. Reblog instesd!!

Characters: every twst student + some of my oc’s

!!!Trigger warning⚠️: some songs contain very heavy subjects. You’ve been warned!!!

Riddle Rosehearts: dollhouse

“Places, places, get in your places. Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we're perfect. Please don't let them look through the curtains. Picture, picture, smile for the picture. Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister? Everyone thinks that we're perfect. Please don't let them look through the curtains”

Trey clover: LIGHT SHOWER

“I was surprised to see heaven in your eyes. I never once was treated right, you're what I'm missing in my life. As bright as the sun, give me your vitamin D. Let's run into another dimension. You make me feel like I'm on drugs. I'm screamin' like a kettle on a stove. You crank the heat up, I was cold. My past grew mold around my heart. And all my anger, sadness, regret disappeared. It's madness, I'm not used to all this water, love, it's true”

Cater Diamond: VOID

“Pipe down with the noise, I cannot bear my sorrow. I hate who I was before. I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow. Someone tell me if this is Hell. I gotta escape the void, there is no other choice, yeah. Tryna turn off the voices, the void ate me. Look at the mess I've done, there is nowhere to run, yeah. Holdin' a loaded gun, the void”

Ace Trappola: Lunchbox friends

“The hassle, the fighting, they all want a bite of me. Photos, more photos. Then gossip 'bout hoes that they don't know. Oh, they talk shit though. I don't want no lunchbox friends, no. I want someone who understands, oh, oh, no. Come to my house, let's die together. Friendship that would last forever, no. No lunchbox friends, no, oh, no. No lunchbox friends. Come to my house, let's die together. Friendship that would last forever, no”

Deuce Spade: Detention

“I'm physically exhausted. Tired of my knuckles beating. I'm chewing gum to pass this time of sadness. Can't you see it? You're too busy seeking selfish wishes. Don't care how I'm feeling. You write me up and say it's love. And I can't believe it. Baby, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension. Let me crawl up into your mind, did I mention? Pretending everything's alright is detention”

Leona Kingscholar: Cake

“If I am just a piece of cake. I am just a piece of cake (cake) Then you're just a piece of meat. You're just a piece of meat to me. If I am just a piece of cake. I am just a piece of cake (cake). Then you're just a piece of meat. You're just a piece of meat to me. I'm not a piece of cake. For you to just discard. While you walk away. With the frosting of my heart. So I'm taking back. What's mine, you'll miss. The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night”

Ruggie Bucchi: Recess

“People gonna say. "If you need a break, someone'll take your place". People gonna try. To tell you that you're fine with dollars in their eyes (just remember) Don't let them, honey, no, oh. Don't let them try (ooh). Don't let them hurt you. Baby, just say, "Recess, I'm tired"”

Jack Howl: Pacify her

“Pacify her. She's getting on my nerves. You don't love her. Stop lying with those words. I can't stand her whining. Where's her binky now? And loving her seems tiring. So boy, just love me, down, down, down. Someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours. But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?”

Azul Ashengrotto: Alphabet boy

“Apples aren't an always appropriate apologies. Butterscotch and bubblegum drops are bittersweet to me. You call me a child while you keep counting all your coins. But you're not my daddy and I'm not your dolly. And your dictionary's destroyed. I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me. I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy. You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry. Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy”

Jade Leech: LEECHES

“Slimy and superficial. Straining their artificial. Yapping to seem official. Making it beneficial to their cause. How much blood can you draw. With your claws from a flesh that's not yours? My hands aren't yours, and. Gnaw on my bones, no marrow left. To keep you enthralled. I guess that is the luck of the draw”

Floyd Leech: Class fight

“Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody. We were in the playground, things were getting muddy. The teacher broke us up after I broke her. And my one true love called me a monster. Mommy, why do I feel sad? Should I give him away or feel this bad? “No, no, no, don't you choke". Daddy chimed in, "Go for the throat". For the throat, for, for the throat. Daddy chimed in, "Go for the throat". For the throat, for, for the throat. Daddy chimed in, "Go for the throat"”

Kalim Al-Asim: Fire Drill

“I am not the government. I am not the fucked up men. I am not a part of anything that is hateful. Love is seeping out my pores, I don't hold anger anymore. Even for people who hurt and betray me (Okay) I am not the government. I am not the fucked up men (Gross) I am not a part of anything that is hateful. Love is seeping out my pores, I don't hold anger anymore. Even for people who hurt and betray me”

Jamil Viper: milk & cookies

“One, two, melatonin is coming for you. Three, four, baby, won't you lock the door?Five, six, I'm done with this. Seven, eight, it's getting late, so close your eyes, sleep for days. Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk. I'm fucking crazy, need my prescription filled. Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you. A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too”

Vil Shoenheit: Show & tell

“Why is it so hard to see? (Why?) If I cut myself, I would bleed (kill me) I'm just like you, you're like me. Imperfect and human, are we? Show and tell. I'm on display for all you fuckers to see. Show and tell. Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me. Buy and sell (buy and sell me, baby). Like I'm a product to society. Art don't sell. Unless you fucked every authority”

Rook Hunt: training wheels

“Letting go, letting go. Telling you things you already know. I explode, I explode. Asking you where you want us to go. You've been riding two wheelers all your life. It's not like I'm asking to be your wife. I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say. Is this coming off in a cheesy way? I love everything you do. When you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do. Wanna ride my bike with you. Fully undressed, no training wheels left for you. And I'll pull them off for you”

Epel Felmier: Drama club

“I don't wanna be an actress, living by a script. Who cares about practising? I don't give a shit. You're overanalyzing every word I say. There's a whole world out there, you're living a play. Fuck your auditorium, I think it's pretty boring and. I never signed up for your drama. Up for your drama, up for your drama club. I never signed up for your drama. Up for your drama club (ooh). I never signed up for your drama club (ooh). For your drama club”

Idia Shroud: Wheels on the bus

“No one's watching us, don't give a fuck. Wheels on the bus. I'm holding it down, up in the front. Wheels on the bus. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Wheels on the bus. Now, I'ma light it up and pass it. Puff puff and pass it. Don't be a dick and babysit, c'mon, just pass it over here. Counting cars as they pass me by. And I'm trying not to look a row behind me. 'Cause Jason's got his ass on the glass. And I hate him, driver hit a bump fast”

Ortho Shroud: Death

“Back from the dead, back from the dead. I'm back from the dead, back from the dead. I'm back from the dead, back from the dead. I'm back from the dead, back from the dead. I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death). I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death). I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death). I'm back from the dead (death), back from the- (I'm back)”

Malleus Draconia: Pity Party

“Maybe if I knew all of them well. I wouldn't have been trapped inside this hell that holds me. Maybe if I casted out a spell. Or told them decorations were in pastel ribbons. Maybe it's a cruel joke on me. Whatever, whatever. Just means there's way more cake for me. Forever, forever”

Lilia Vanrouge: test me

“Hey God, I'll be the jester. Entertain ya to the best of my ability. When I suffer more, fragility, when I answer. Came here for a reason, oh-oh. So stop complaining, all have our seasons, oh-oh. It's not just a joke or a lesson to live through. Every which way in second, there's a breakthrough”

Silver (Vanrouge): FAERIE SOIRÉE

“Lips of sugar, I'm breathing the pheromones again. Ooh-ah, ooh-ah (ah). Hands are tied and Miranda Rights don't mean nothing. Led me astray to the faerie soirée. Alone, alone. Now I wanna ride with the magic. Lose sight of the gravity of home. Blue stars running on my forehead. Cold wings fluttering and moving. Mushrooms everywhere I'm turning. Laced with love, intensive grooving”

Sebek Zigvolt: play date

“We're just playing hide and seek. It's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you. I don't want to play no games. I'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you. I don't give a fuck about you anyways. Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you? You never share your toys or communicate. I guess I'm just a play date to you”

“Oc’s”

Ibhana “Vesper” Baske: Spider Web

“Better off dead than stuck in a maze. The center may seem like a gift. Once you arrive, it'll strip you of your life. And you'll wish that you never did. Spinning all your silk and moving all of your eight legs. To build a web that'll spread through the world. Feeding off our highs and lows. And curious to see us struggle. No one can leave once they merge”

Tao Yúchi: gingerbread man

“I need a gingerbread man. The one I'll feed. A gingerbread man. The one I'll eat. One who's always crazy. Never calls me baby. That's the one that I want. All you boys are not him, not him. Can't you see? I only want the ones who never see me. But I'm happy. I love playing these games until my heart bleeds. It bleeds jelly. 'Cause you don't want someone to eat your cookie. Can someone please. Find him for me, find him for me?”

Igor Kazentoc: THE CONTORTIONIST

“I don't wanna bruise for you. Holding back my words until my face is blue. I don't really care about your crew. You can tell 'em what you wanted to. Bones are crushing, bones are crushing (pushin' me) Bodies touching, bodies touching (lovin' me) Blood is pumping, blood is pumping (pullin' me). Feeling nothing, feeling nothing (fuckin' me) Bones are crushing, bones are crushing (crushin' me) Bodies touching, bodies touching (touchin' me) Ooh-ah”

Junto Shuisha: mrs. Potato head

“Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me. Is it true that pain is beauty? Does a new face come with a warranty? Will a pretty face make it better? Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me. How did you afford her surgery? Do you swear you'll stay forever. Even if her face don't stay together. Even if her face don't stay together”

Jasper Spade: The bakery

“My boss is mother Mary. Catch me slippin' through the concrete. Show no mercy, step right on me. Stiletto death, send me to purgatory. The bakery, tryna make some more. They expect me to stay when I should go. Grab the bag for when they cross the door. It ain't for me to roll it out. It's just for me to raise the dough”

Najih Al-Amin: teachers pet

“Teacher's pet. If I'm so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret. The things we shared that I'll never forget? Well, do you? Tell me that. I know I'm young, but my mind is well beyond my years. I knew this wouldn't last, but fuck you, don't you leave me here. Teacher's pet. If I'm so special, why am I secret?”

Aikat Spanos: Mad Hatter

“Where is my prescription? Doctor, doctor, please listen. My brain is scattered. You can be Alice, I'll be the Mad Hatter. I'm peeling the skin off my face. 'Cause I really hate being safe. The normals, they make me afraid. The crazies, they make me feel sane”

Phobes Spanos: Carousel

“And it's all fun and games. 'Til somebody falls in love. But you already bought a ticket. And there's no turning back now. Round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go. Will I catch up to love? I can never tell, I know. Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I. Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel”

Ya’ll have no idea how much I love Melanie<3

!!Requests are open!!

comments are more than appreciated. but reblogs help the content reach more people so please reblog if you want to like<3 likes do nothing. Seriously, don’t like, reblog.

[rebelwrites]

Thirteen: The Man That Raised Me

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till The Wheels Fall Off Masterlist

Warnings: drug use, abandoning, neglect

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

There was a calmness in the air as both me and Charles laid soaking up the sun, I knew I would have to deal with the giant elephant in the room. I needed to come clean to him about my past. I didn’t make a habit of telling anyone my life story, but there was something different about Charles that made me want to tell him every traumatic detail. He made me feel safe and if we were going to see where this thing between us was going he deserved to know the truth.

Propping myself up on my elbow I took a deep breath, “I need to explain something,” I whispered, keeping my focus on the sight of the waves crashing against the rocks on a distant beach. “I saw the confusion on your face when I mentioned changing my last name back to Haynes,” I had spent years blocking out my early years, keeping them under lock and key but now it was time to face the fear of opening up to someone.

“You don’t have to tell me if it is too painful,” he said softly, moving so he was now sitting in front of me, his hands resting on my knees.

“I want you to know,” I mumbled, moving my gaze so I was now looking at him, “JT isn’t my biological dad, he adopted me when I was five, it is something I am eternally grateful for. He is the man that raised me, even though I’m not a Teller by blood he treated me like his own.”

Charles stayed silent as I slowly eased myself into telling him about my past, the feeling of his hand on my knee provided me with the comfort I needed to feel safe.

“Jax wasn’t keen on the idea of having a little sister at first, especially one that was only three months younger than him. But, he quickly got over that, the bond we formed only grew stronger as the years went by. I swear the two of us caused Pops to start turning gray in his late twenties,” I said with a small laugh, Pops always used to call me and Jax his troublemakers but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Letting out a shaky breath I reached for my bag, fumbling inside until I found the packet of cigarettes, pulling one out of the box I placed it between my lips whilst I fished around for my lighter. I couldn’t help but pause moments before I lit the cigarette, did I really need this right now or was I using this as a crutch.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I moved the smoke away. I had been trying to quit for months but I just couldn’t seem to break the habit even if I had managed to cut down on them. Placing the cigarette back in the box I refused to turn to smoking in this situation. Feeling Charles’ arms wrap around me, I focused on the sound of his heartbeat to steady my nerves allowing him to become my bad habit.

Although there was nothing bad about becoming addicted to this man.

“My biological parents were,” I said pausing, ignoring the churning in my stomach, “are drug addicts, I was born addicted to heroin to the point I was only given six months to live,” tears were streaming down my cheeks, I had overcome a lot of obstacles in my life but without JT I sure as hell wouldn’t be here right now.

“Oh sunshine,” Charles whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke.

“JT saved my life, I was only five but can remember the day so clearly.”

The icy wind caused JT’s cheeks to burn, but that didn’t matter to him right now, all that mattered was the young girl that needed his help. Since the day Nova was born he promised to keep an eye out for her, protecting her when and where he could, to always be her guardian angel. He had gotten wind that Jenny and Darren were out on another one of their benders leaving their defenseless little girl home alone.

Tonight was the night he would save her from the living hell she was in without a care for any consequences. Pulling his thick coat tighter around his body, he fought his way through the snowy garden, carefully watching where he was treading because he knew the state the garden had been left in.

These people didn’t care about anything or anyone, all they cared about was scoring their next hit.

John thought when Nova was born things would change, hoping the moment they saw their new born baby strung out on heroin, they would turn their life around but they never did. He was honestly surprised how Nova made it past her 1st birthday, especially when she was only given a life expectancy of six months. In his heart he knew she was a fighter and she was going to be a fierce female, he just needed to get her out of this situation first, providing her with a safe home to be able to be a normal child.

Reaching the back door of the property, he quickly tried the handle first not being shocked that it had been left unlocked. He knew Nova’s situation wasn’t good but he had never stepped foot in this house, not through lack of trying though, every time he tried he was quickly escorted off the property by a strung out Darren.

The moment he entered the kitchen he felt his stomach tighten, the bile rising in his throat as the smell hit him first. He couldn’t even begin to describe the stench that filled the house but it was making him feel nauseous. Pulling his hoodie over his mouth and nose he reached out flipping the lightswitch only to be greeted with no power whatsoever.

“Nova, my sweet little angel are you in here?” John called out, trying not to startle the young girl if she was about.

“JT,” a weak voice called out from the darkness.

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he responded, pushing his hand into his pocket, fumbling to get his phone. He needed some sort of light to be able to guide himself through the bomb site of a house. He could hear his heart shatter as he shone the light around the kitchen. Every surface was covered in empty beer cans, vodka bottles, along with used needles and other drug paraphernalia.

Moving his phone so it was now shining at the floor, he carefully maneuvered his way through the room, making note of where there were dirty needles scattered on the floor. This poor girl had been through hell and she was only five years old, only two months younger than his son.

“Nova, I promise you everything is going to be okay,” he whispered, as he reached the girl, seeing her in nothing but a ripped onesie that was covered in stains, “nothing bad is ever going to happen to you now.” Tears filled his eyes as he crouched down, he quickly unzipped his coat before wrapping his arms around Nova scooping her off the floor, holding her close to his chest, his main concern was with how cold she was, automatically he pulled his coat around her, hoping the heat from his body would help slow her shivering down, “let's get you home, little one.”

Tears were freely rolling down my cheeks, I would never forget the day my life changed forever. The steady sound of Charles’ heartbeat provided the strength I needed in the moment.

“He is my guardian angel,” I whispered, letting my fingers dance across Charles’ skin, “even before he pulled me from that house he was always looking out for me. The deadbeats that were my so-called parents always brought me down, they always made comments about my body and how I looked,” my voice was weak as I spoke. I felt like I was opening up old painful wounds, I felt so vulnerable right now, “they always said the reason there was no food in the house was because I ate it, because I was a greedy child.”

Taking a deep breath, I roughly wiped my eyes with the back of my hands, pushing myself to my feet letting my fingers tangle in my hair, “I never realised I wasn’t supposed to be so fucking hungry all of the time!” I screamed into the sky, tugging at my roots.

“Oh Sunshine,” Charles whispered, rocking me gently in his arms, “you were only a child.”

“They were my fucking parents, Char. The people who were meant to protect, nurture and love me. I thought they were helping me. When in actual fact they were spending the money for groceries on their next score,” it was only now I realized I still had a lot of pent up anger bottled up inside of me.

Charles pushed himself to his feet, instantly wrapping his arms around me moving me back onto the sun lounger. His hands moved on to the sides of my face, softly wiping my tear stained cheeks.

We both stayed silent for a moment, I focused on the feeling of Charles’ gentle touch. Taking a deep breath I decided I wasn’t wasting any more tears on them, they didn’t deserve it.

“JT cared though,” I said with a small smile, “he would always make sure he picked me up from preschool along with Jax, taking me back to the clubhouse. He always made sure I got a decent meal, a warm bath and provided me with a loving safe environment,” taking another deep breath, I felt the weight being lifted off my shoulders, coming clean to the man in front of me made me see clearly for the first time in a while.

JT had put his own life on the line to save me, yet I couldn’t take the time to listen to what he wanted to do regarding his health.

Me and Jax needed additional help.

“The day after he pulled me from the shit hole he went straight down to the court house, petitioning for adoption,” I smiled, knowing that even though he wasn’t my father by blood he would forever be my Pops, the man that made me the woman I was today. “I will always remember the day he officially became my Pops, you know legally,” I said with a slight chuckle in my tone, “the moment we got back from the courthouse he had Happy set up his tattoo equipment and he got mine and Jax’s name etched permanently over his heart.”

Charles stayed quiet, more than likely processing all the information I had told him but I didn’t need or want his apologies for the world failing me.

All I needed was him.

The fact he hadn’t cut the trip short and bolted said everything to me, “that man means everything to me, so to see him suffering like this is fucking killing me,” I mumbled, fiddling with the bracelets on Charles’ wrist.

“Let me help you, Sunshine,” he hummed, blinking back tears himself, “if you need money, you’ve got it. If you need extra support, I can arrange it.”

My heart practically exploded at his kindness, we had only known each other for a little over a week and he was offering to do whatever he could to make not only my life easier but Jax’s as well. Resting my hand over his heart I let my eyes flutter closed, “I appreciate the gesture Charles but I can’t accept your money,” I whispered, hoping he wouldn’t get offended that I was turning him down. “Me and Jax will be fine, we always figure things out.”

“Babygirl, you shouldn’t have to struggle,” he said softly, taking my hand in his, “you have got to be one of the strongest women I have ever known, the things you’ve been through makes me want to kill everyone who has wronged you. You shouldn’t have to just manage, let me help you,” he whispered, pausing for a second, “please.”

Taking a deep breath I knew this wasn’t going to be something I could sweep under the carpet, the look on Charles face was genuine, he really wanted to help, “I will think about it okay.”

He flashed me a smile but it wasn’t hopeful, already knowing my biggest downfall was my pride. He had seen me practically run myself into the ground, rather than asking for any form of help. I wasn’t going to let my dark past hang over our heads for the rest of the day, especially when Charles had rented out a yacht for us.

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @celestialams @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

[mywifeymax]

For You (Richard Ramirez x Femreader) AHS

I do not approve any of his behaviors or him in general I am only writing about the fictional one in AHS

Y/n pov:

Many people try to do many things to fix they're broken minds some people get professional help or even get put on meds for it some choose to use violence and some even go to use drugs what do I do well I just live with my broken mind it doesn't bother me that much

--------------

*walking down the street I found this thing about Camp redwood I picked it up* A religious camp but it's free to all maybe I should go I mean it could help me maybe to find god *I nod and stuffed it in my bag as I make my way back to my apartment I unlocked the door and entered inside before throwing my bag off and I shut the door and locked it* I can't be to careful with the creep running around *I walked over and locked the window*

*Going to the calendar I marked the date of the camp on It before going to my room and grabbed my bag of blunts and took one out before inhaling the smoke and I leaned back* It always felt good to get high it was like an escape from life my life was a living hell

-------------

It was the day of camp I was in my apartment currently packing up my things *Finishing up I grabbed my bag before leaving to my car and I got in before driving up to the camp and I parked my car in the parking lot and I got out of my car and walked up to the camp sign and I entered inside and I saw other people my age there*

*getting assigned a cabin I went inside and I saw two girls there one had long blond hair and the other had brown hair* "Hi"I said "Hi"They both said "Are you like new here I never saw you before?"The blond girl asked "Yeah I am new here I am y/n"I said "I am Montana"She said "I am brook"The girl with brown hair said *I smiled at them slightly* "well it's nice to meet you guys"I said "You too"They both said

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it was night time I've begin to remember about my brother I lost him due to cancer he was all I had in that family *I look up as I saw Montana come in and she walked over to me* "Are you okay?"She asked "yeah why?"I asked "I can see through your happy act"She said "well truth be told I came here to find my way with God but to be honest that isn't working I have a very broken mind"I said "what caused it?"She asked "I uh lost my brother to cancer he was all I had in my family my mother she was a drug user so she died after a couple of years of overdose and my father I haven't seen him in like years"I said "If it helps I can completely understand I also lost my brother so I know how you are feeling"Montana said *I smiled a bit and hugged her* "Thank you for talking with me"I said "to be honest I can see though people and I would be careful around brook"Montana said "why do you say that?"I asked "everyone around her dies and I don't want to loose you because I can tell we are going to be good friends"Montana said *I nod and smiled a bit* "I am going out to get some fresh air"I said "Alright I'll be here"Montana said *I nodded*

--------

*Going to the docks I sit down and stared at the water* I hope my brother is alright up there *hearing a sound behind me I looked behind me and saw a guy in a leather jacket and jeans he had black hair* "Are you one of the guys from the camp?"I asked "Cute but no"He said his voice was deep "oh uh then why are you here?"I asked "well my master led me here to get a girl"He said "well I don't know her sorry"I said *I got up as I walked past him but he grabbed my arm* "I think my master will like you I mean he can sense you're broken soul"The guy said *I looked at him and pulled my arm away* "I need to go"I said *I begin to walk away but he pulled me back as he brought the knife up to my throat* "My master always get's what he wants I am his loyal follower"He said "Let me go"I said "No can do princess"He whispered in my ear *I shivered* "who is your master?"I asked "The devil"He said *I looked up at him* "I'll let you go for right now but just know that I will be back for you"He said *I felt as he ran the blade down my cheek before walking away*

-To be continued-

[tadpoleponders]

AFTG Annotated Playlist: Song #1

Song: Head in the Wall by Ethel Cain

Author's Notes: I picture this song being Andrew at his lowest points, and this song in general is a really intense one so reader discretion advised!

TW for SH, gun violence, drug usage, SA

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING I WANNA HEAR YOUR (polite!!!) THOUGHTS!! Please keep in mind this is just my interpretation of Andrew and this song, not everyone's or even the artist's at all. This is gonna be a series, and I promise the rest aren't going to be such a sucker punch in the heart!

Lyric analysis under the cut. Any lines not applicable to the scenario/character are strikethrough.

"Sometimes you make me wanna put my fucking head through the wall Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all Fall asleep to the sound of your old rotating fan I cut the fuck out of myself and soaked the bed sheets with blood again"

A lot of this song I think is Andrew either talking to either Drake or Cass herself. We know Andrew used to sh as a way to cope with Drake's abuse, hence the last line. I think he also wondered if Cass really loved him if she didn't notice he was being abused, hence the second line. Obviously, he didn't know what normal family dynamics are supposed to be like as we know he was seven when something bad happened for the first time, but he was so desperate to be loved even just a normal amount from a parental figure that he was willing to put up with VIOLENT assault to just have a shred of safety under Cass's wing.

[Verse 2] I hold my head underwater just to drown out the noise It's always my fault, girls will be bitches and boys will be boys I know I don’t need you, but I'm terrified of letting you go Even after all the times you fucked the shit out of me while I was crying, "No"

Line one I think can be metaphorical in that Andrew tried to cope with things like alcohol, sh and nicotine that aren't beneficially in the end, hence holding ones head underwater, something that can very quickly kill you. The second line doesn't quite apply as the singer is a woman so she says girls will be bitches, but the boys will be boys thing echoes to what Luther probably said to him when Andrew tried to tell him about his abuse. Line three is in reference to Cass, Andrew thinking he doesn't really need her and knowing that it's probably safest to be entirely alone, but still inside being that scared child who just needs his mom. Line four is pretty explanatory again, talking to Drake, saying how he would put up with it if it mean he could stay with Cass.

[Verse 3] And how am I supposed to feel good about myself when everything I do is wrong? When I'm just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak, and I don't wanna go on? And I don't wanna leave my house, 'cause I know everybody’s staring at me now "Why the hell am I alive?" is what they think, they wanna take me down

Line one and two can be read as things Andrew feels because of the abuse in all of the houses he's been in. He's the only common denominator, so there must be something wrong with him, not the families. Obviously, it took enough of a toll on him he needed substances and sh to cope especially after Drake. The last two lines are in reference to the paranoia that comes with being abused, especially with mental illness thrown in. Whether Andrew was given his medicine for psychosis or if that was just the plea deal doesn't matter, being that abused for so incredibly long makes you so much more likely to develop mental illness and he def has something going on outside of PTSD. Either way, him believing others are out to get him in his roughest moments is why he's so vigilant anyway even if it is warranted sometimes.

[Chorus] And I can't get out, can’t run away, there's no escaping you now (There's no escaping you now) I'm gonna die all alone next to you in this piece of shit town And we've been cursed since the start, Jesus didn’t want us, no And you take all of your sins out on my body like everyone else does Shooting up our old school when we get bored of shooting up And fuck the cops, and fuck God, and fuck this town for ruining us And they'll put holes in all we own and in our heads, pumped full of lead You always told me I could only leave you once we're both dead

There's a lot to unpack here. One, no matter how far away he gets from any of his abusers, he can't escape what happened and the memories of it. Second line, I think at some point in the abuse Andrew must've thought Drake was going to kill him, and that night in Columbia he probably thought it was the end. And in a way, a really fucked up one, he did die right next to Drake, the last of his soul shattering into pieces like Drake's skull, in the piece of shit town of Columbia, in the place he wasn't ever believed.

The next lines I think are towards Renee, whose faith got her through rough times but that Andrew never benefitted from. You could also argue that even though it seems like Andrew initiated their sparring sessions and that it's consensual, I wonder if Andrew ever found the irony of her hurting him (and to be fair him her) as a way to cope, hence taking out ones sins on anothers' body.

I'd argue that the fuck this town part of the next line can be changed to fuck the system for ruining us, in reference to Renee and Andrew again.

The last line is Andrew's reflection on something Drake would've said to him (conjecture, but like it seems like something an abusive piece of shit would say) in a fucked up echo to maybe Cass saying the same thing when Andrew asked about the adoption potentially being permanent and him not having to leave, and she replies "You only have leave us when you die."

[Outro]

Sometimes you make me wanna put my fucking head through the wall Sometimes I wonder if I even knew you at all

*cries* okay thanks guys that's my cue to go sob until I'm a snotty mess about these characters I love Andrew and Renee so much they're so special to me.

[kissorkill16]

Nicky's Diary: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: What if Nick kept a journal while in Mr. Peterson's basement?

Day 1

This is the first full day I've spent in this psychopaths basement. I've finally dug up the secrets of the Peterson house, and in its place, I've buried myself.

The only good thing about this is that I've finally found Aaron. He didn't look too happy to see me, instead, he looked scared. I finally know the reason why he didn't want me to come back, because Mr. Peterson wanted to find a friend for Aaron.

I haven't given up hope yet, because I've hatched up a plan. Me and Aaron are getting out of here.

Day 4

So far, we've managed to escape twice, and both times, we've ended up back in the basement. But don't worry, I've hatched up another plan. You hear that, Mr. Peterson? No matter how many locks you put on that basement door, no matter what kind of traps you put around your house, we'll always find a way out.

Day 9

So me and Aaron were put in separate rooms. How stupid is that? Just because me and Aaron aren't together anymore doesn't mean we can't still make plans for escape.

Fuck you, you old bitch. We're getting out of here.

Day 16

So I tried getting out again, and this plan ended up with me getting thrown back into the basement. Hard. So hard, I almost broke my arm.

Mr. Peterson has one strong grip. But if he thinks I'm scared, he's wrong. If he thinks his strong ass arms can scare me into staying in this hellhole, he's extremely wrong.

He told me that if we tried escaping again, he'll have no choice but to knock some sense into us. That was what really sent shivers down my spine.

Day 25

My previous plan got Aaron strangled. We were trying to run away from Mr. Peterson, and he just snapped and grabbed Aaron by his neck. While the old bastard apologized, Aaron still got pissed at me.

Aaron isn't talking to me anymore. He told me he's done with me coming up with plans and always getting thrown back in the basement. He told me to give up. But I don't want to give up, I just want us to get out of here.

You know what? Fine! If he wants to sulk down here forever, that's cool with me. But I'm getting out of here.

Day 36

My whole body feels numb, and I can't feel my legs. This son of a bitch drugged me! It's really strong, and I can barely stand. This won't stop me. I'm not giving up. All I need to do is wait for the drug to wear off.

No big deal.

Day 46

Drug wore off in just 10 days, what a world. Now all I need to do is make another plan.

Day 64

He fucking drugged me again. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I fucking hate it. I so badly want out of here.

Day 81

My arm hurts so fucking bad. I landed in a bear trap. This psycho had a bear trap waiting for me! He was nice enough to clean it and wrap it, but that doesn't make it any less painful.

Day 100

All of the time spent in this basement has given me a lot of time to think. Why am I still trying? Every time I've tried escaping, I get thrown back in here. Aaron isn't talking to me, and my arm hurts like hell.

And what if no one is looking for me? After all I did to my friends and family, I guess it makes sense. No one is looking for me. I don't have anyone. All of my so-called friends abandoned me, and my parents don't believe me when I say Mr. Peterson was the reason behind Aaron and Mya's disappearance.

I'm all alone. I should just give up and die already. No wait, I can't do that. I'd stink up the place. Mr. Peterson deserves better than that. Aaron deserves better than that. Better than me.

I'll just give up. No one cares about me anyway. So I'll just give up.

Wait...

Aaron?

Did you just unlock the door?

[denny-artsss]

Will you ever do scenarios again or are those not really your style anymore? No hate just was curious!! 😁

TW: mentions of: abuse, drug use, and other trauma related topics.

I decided to finally address this because I know it is not fair for all my followers to sit here and wait for me to post, to wait for answers, and get silence instead. I've been asked this question many, many times, and rightfully so everyone deserves an answer. I've been denying to answer this question for a long time, but it's time i face it and push my fears aside to answer this as much as it pains me to face the truth.

I have been going through massive traumatic events while I was writing the fanficts and the scenarios. Once i finally escaped my abusive relationship, I started to heal, but the aftermath is nonetheless still abundant. I've been forced into a straight relationship for a year, mistreated, verbally abused, neglected, manipulated, and guilt tripped to stay with this awful boy, because I cannot call that childish person a man. I've been coming out as a lesbian to him more than 20 times in that year, but he'll always tell me I'll go to hell for being Gay. He cried and made me feel like an awful person. And other really bad stuff that I may not even be allowed to say here, like being encouraged to take drugs just so he can take advantage of me.

Once I finally stood my ground and ended the relationship, my life started looking so much better. I cried, I cried of happiness when it ended.

The only downside to this is due to severe trauma and drug abuse, and I have lost a lot of my memory. I no longer remember how to write. Most of my writing skills are gone. I may write again one day soon, but for now, I am trying to heal, still.

Thank you to everyone who stood by my side, still liking my art, and to my friends who are my family and mean the world to me

[hel-phoenyx]

New Year's Eve, part 9

Following through on @corneille-but-not-the-author and @soupedepates collab with me

Who. In the damn world. Thought this was a good idea. To put me in a city patrol. With Sigismund goddamn Warsowar.

Well. The answer is easy. Of course it's Walpurgis, who else. Saying it's gonna "strenghten teamwork" or some bullshit like this. Not even him doesn't believe in that. It's just the excuse for Warsowar. So he doesn't cry or something.

The silence is deafening. We haven't talked at all since our last altercation, after Domhildr outed me. Or pretended I was gay. Whatever. I never felt inclinations, but in the little I've felt, I've always preffered men, so I guess it's true.

Just thinking about that makes my skin crawl. Amandine stopped most of the rumors and nasty remarks, but I still get mean looks. I am not the token brown AND the token gay of the cops. The diversity pass.

I hate this.

I enrolled to change the system. Now I am part of it, and in the way I hate the most.

Warsowar isn't even looking at me. You can say so if I disgust you. i'm used to it.

Always been used to it until I met Tyr.

I can't start a conversation by myself, tho. It would look like I'm making an effort. I don't want to make an effort for him. At all.

He looks paler than usual.

Some people run away when they see us approaching, I sigh. I pray every day for the destruction of the police system, even if I'd get jobless, that doesn't mean I enjoy being looked at with fear in the eyes. I mean, not right now.

I chose fear because it gave me more power than hatred. To replace love. Everything feels empty now.

I don't even have the energy to feel angry.

Warsowar looks in one of the streets, signals me to come behind him. Nothing, but we can never be too cautious. Somethimes there is (horror) drug deals in the vicinity.

I usually go first to give them time to escape. I don't care anymore.

No one. He walks one step, two steps, stops.

Still looking in the opposite direction.

"You know, POCs aren't the only people to be subjected to racism."

I roll my eyes. First words you're adressing me and it's that ? Someone took to heart my comment on the privileges.

"Right. Say that to the immigrant syrian cop. What, you're gonna lecture me on anti-white racism now ?"

"No, it's not what I wanted to say. what I meant is, the occidental world doesn't spare an ounce of pity for poeple that are not american or western european."

"The point ?"

"My name, Fenrir. Do you think it looks western ?"

... Good point. I recall mayor Sarovar is polish. Still, won't forgive that fucker for every last ounce of suffering he cast upon us. He's part of the system. And he just profits from it.

I don't see why I would take pity of that nouveau riche.

...

He's shaking.

Something is wrong.

I don't feel anger.

Am I

Am I worried ?

For mayor Sarovar's son ?

Nah.

Not a chance.

Still, there is something in his face when he turns towards me.

"Just... Wanted you to know that. That you're being unfair."

"World is unfair, Warsowar."

"Then don't add to it."

Hell, he doesn't even look mad. Just shaken. Pupils are dilated, cheeks pale, sweat is subtly covering his brow. His hands, always holding a pencil or typing on a computer, are shivering in vain.

He reminds me of someone.

Who ?

"..... We probably should stop for a while. You don't look able to continue the patrol."

"No. We have to finish the job."

I roll my eyes. That feeling of familiarity is gnawing at the back of my head. But, who in the hell-

"What's gonna finish is your heart if you don't stop for a while, you look like you're about to have a panic attack. Sit down."

Because i ain't carrying the patrol on with a colleague in this state. He could get hurt stupidly, or I could get hurt trying to cover from him. As much as I don't like him, Walpurgis is gonna kill me if his precious rich boy comes to harm, and I'm already on eggshells because of that damn rumor.

Luckily for me, Sigismund Warsowar is a good boi that listens to his elders. Fuck, I don't even know if I'm older than him. He has never looked more like a child when he sits down, try to take back the control of his breathing. The noises even strenghten that feeling of familiarity.

"Alright. We're not getting anywhere if you don't calm down, so, focus on my breathing. It should help countering the panic attack. Breathe in... Breathe out..."

"How.... Do you know how to calm down panic attacks..."

"This should be a basic skill for a cop, especially one who specialises in helping ignored people. Also I have experience, I've spend so much time calming down-"

Tyr.

That's where the feeling was coming for.

He has the exact same haunted eyes. The exact same shivering when I found him the first time back in elementary.

...

...

...

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I do my best to steady my breathing, try to at least calm down that one. My own heart is beating like crazy.

How

How could I not recognize the signs ?

Tyr also comes from a rich family. The af Mundir are a plague to society as much as Sarovar Warsowar is.

We fought a lot back then. For good reasons. Or petty ones. But I never, ever, projected the sins of his family upon him.

...

Ha.

I've been an hypocrite, haven't I ?

Sigismund ends up calming down. I extend a hand. He takes it. He's still shaky, but at least his cheeks are less pale, and his breathing seems to have stabilised.

"Better ?"

"...... Yeah. Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

I start walking, leading the patrol this time. But before I turn up the corner, I throw a look towards him, following a little more hesitantly.

"Look, I still don't like you, man. But i'm sorry. For dragging you into my mess."

"I didn't... Expect an apology, especially right now ?"

I sigh.

"You don't have to take it. That also does not mean we're buddy buddy or that I suddenly like your girlfriend. I still owe her a forced outing. But you had nothing to do with this and I'm the one who dragged you in, so I at least owe you this one."

".... Apology accepted. Thanks for owning up to that, at least."

I smile. Bitterly

"You know, you remind me of someone. And I still have to decide if it's a good thing."

***

Alright.

I held up my part of the contract, I apologised to Sigismund. Still can't stand that fucker, but at least it's for legitimate reasons, now. Ha.

No way in hell i'm apologizing to Domhildr. I'm still contemplating reminding her who has the power here. And even if I'd do nothing, I've thrown shit, she outed me, we're even, somehow.

That means there is only one person left.

I don't have any news about Tyr. Last time I've heard about him, it was through Gustav telling me he is crashing their house, screenless for a good while, so he can play with the kid. The kid that bears my name.

He also told me Kriss forbade him from giving me news. She's updating all his friends taking her calls on how he's doing. The precision is telling me not all of them do.

Looks like I have, after all, get them away from each other.

I am not even satisfied.

So. I don't know in which state I'm gonna find him. But I at least have to try and make things up to him.

I remember the hospital bed, and my face scrunching up when I saw who was next to it. The words, coming out of my mouth, "what the fuck is THAT ONE doing here ????". Then the insults, the fights.

I remember raising my fist.

I remember a snappy voice cutting me immeditaly.

"Enough."

He was on the hospital bed. Fist clenched. Looking at me with a rage I have never seen.

His finger extending to the door.

"You get the fuck out of here, Fen. Now."

I remember the look, not vindictive, I expexted to find on THAT guy's face. Instead there was worry. Worry, but never for me. I was, I am, insignifiant to both of their eyes.

I never want to see that look on Tyr's eyes ever again.

My finger presses the call button.

Kriss, surprisingly, answers.

"Fenrir, what an unpleasant surprise."

"I take it you still resent me."

That's not a question. That is, anyway, quickly answered.

"Still do indeed. But this is not about me. I suppose you call to talk to Tyr ?"

"... Yeah."

"You're an intelligent one. All the others tell me they tried to ring his phone that he turned off. I'll let you have that, you do know better."

Even that doesn't make me smile.

"Can I ? Please ?"

"Oh. a please in-between the fangs of Fenrir Wolffsen, what a surprise. Tell you what, just for that please, I'll hand the phone to him. But I warn you. If it's not for an apology, I will come to your apartment and beat you up."

Kriss is not up to the challenge and I know it, yet I shiver in terror. The idea of that 1m70-something woman coming to my flat to kick me in the balls has something unsettling. Probably because it's Kriss.

I hear her talking through muffled earphone, probably with a hand on the mic while she's warning Tyr. before, Finally, I hear a tired, deep voice on the other side of the mic.

"Hello, Fenrir."

".... Sup."

"I have to warn you, he continues, still emotionless. Kriss told me that if the next words out of your mouth weren't an apology, I would be allowed to hang up. and i'm very tempted to do so. So, do your worst."

That tone hurts me more than the words.

"Okay. I 'm sorry."

Pause. On the other side of the phone, apparently, my conversation partner is stunned. But I am not finished.

"I realise now that I've acted rashly out of jealousy, and hurt you uselessly in the process. And I don't like seeing you like this, Tyr. Especially of it's because of me. So I am really, really sorry for my actions regarding Domhildr and Sigismund."

And I think I believe it.

A sigh rips through the mic.

"... That's already something. But you know, Fenrir, I want you to understand that it's not only because you've been completely insensitive about Domi's flirting attempt that I've been that hurt. It's all the insinuating about my own self-worth."

"... What do you mean ?"

"I'll tell you a little something. When people ask us constantly if you ever get tired of being the second choice, you start believing in it. I'll choose to believe because I do not think you're that heartless that it was a coincidence, but it didn't come at a good time. At all."

Another sigh.

"So. Congrats. You managed to destroy the relationship between me and the woman I'm in love with. Doing so, you jeopardized our own."

... A goal reached, eh, but at what cost ?

I used to believe they were the reason you didn't choose me, back then. Now I don't even know if you'd choose me anyway.

I should let go of it.

Yet

You've always been my first choice.

Why can't you see it ?

Why am I not yours ?

".... I'm sorry."

"And I'll choose to believe you are. But I don't think you've earned my forgiveness on this one with just words. Prove me you've changed and I'll think about it. Leave them alone. Domhildr, but also Oli, or even Meili even if sometimes he deserves it."

Pause.

His voice get harsher.

"And especially Kaizarz."

...

I won't get better, will I ?

"Alright. i'll try. In the meantime, I have a favor to ask of you."

My voice is trembling. Fuck.

"What is it ?"

"Kriss told me you're living at her house for the time being, and you didn't got out at all. So what do you think if I organised a little outing with everyone ? Aarni, Brynja, Gustav, Hector, Thorfinn. For old time's sake."

I hear an hesitation, some words thrown probably to the power couple. before something exhales on the phone.

"... Alright. I'll let you organize the details with Gustav, I am absolutely not in the right mood to be the party organizer. Find us a good bar, let's get wasted, for old time's sake as you said. But I am not accepting this invitation as your friend. You're still on thin ice, Fenrir."

".... Fair enough. I'll call Gustav later."

"Fine by me. Good bye, Fenrir."

A click.

He hangs up.

Something runs on my cheeks.

Wet.

Weird.

I have not cried since that day on the hospital.

[thecoolsunidhi]

I miss him. Well, not him, but the idea of him. I miss what I was capable of feeling when I met him. 

I read a post. It said, 'that guy from your hometown isn't your soulmate. You just miss him because he reminds you of what it feels like to be 17 again.'

And it might be true. 

I don't miss him. 

I miss the person I used to be before him. And during him. It's only ever been downhill from there.

He reminds me of a memorable time in my life that I will never get back. Undeniably, his presence made it a million times better. 

I won't say I want it all back. I didn't work out then, it won't work out now. It'll end the same way and I know it. I am aware. 

But I can't help but jump right back to thinking about it every time anything goes wrong in my life, even in the slightest. 

I've always known myself to be a nostalgic person. But it's been almost ten years. Have I only been suffering for the last ten years? Haven't things gotten better at all? 

He's not even him in my mind anymore. I don't remember what he was like. Hell, I don't even remember what he looked like. To me, he's not a person, he's a feeling, like the high of a drug. He's just an escape from my reality. He's the route I wish I'd taken, and I think about it at every wrong turn. That's all.

[halfetirosie]

🔥🔥🔥 RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WANT TO COMMIT A MURDER WITH ME!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

(Elysium 04-05 React-os!)

1) Eiden making an excellent point here--

Even in our own world, there's still a lot of stigma around "red light districts" and/or the industries they involve (sex work, alcohol, recreational drug use, etc). While you should always be careful and responsible with these activities, they are not inherently bad!

(I feel like some people might have gotten the wrong idea about my thoughts on these things--specifically, on drug use--from my last post. But please don't misunderstand; I am NOT against any of these things. What I AM against is people deliberately exploiting others using these things, fueling addiction for their own profit. ♡)

2) Dude, of course Kuya put his own essence-infused bracelet into the mix!

Why don't you just properly PROPOSE to him already, you foxy bastard??? (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

It's cute, but also funny that he did this. Like, I imagine that when Kuya saw this bracelet event was happening he knew Eiden would be interested in participating too; and since he's jealous and possessive, he specially added his essence to the bracelet so Eiden would be sure to choose his---thus, not being paired with anyone else!

Kuya is certainly back on his Tsundere Bullshit™!

....And also his Yandere Bullshit™ I guess??? (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

3) Oh no.... Well, SHIT....

Look, I assumed Kuya had to have been involved in starting the Elysium club, but to be involved with the creation of that whack-ass addictive drug????? Bruh.....

Like, that alone wouldn't have bothered me that much, but since we've seen how Reverie addiction is becoming a serious problem [in the Water Territory], I ain't gonna lie, I am not very pleased with the fox right now...

4) SPEAKING OF YANDERE BULLSHIT---

*Hisses in this bitch's general direction*

CREEPY! WEIRDO! BAD VIBES! EW!!!!

What is it with Kuya attracting so many freaks? First the stalker tanuki, and now THIS creature????

5) Hm... I'm guessing Kuya got into this who agreement with Vampire Bitch for the sake of sufficient entertainment---a.k.a sufficient distraction from his long-ass life....

I'm guessing Kuya has gotten tired of the activities that take place here---which might be a good sign, showing that he's more "entertained" by the daily life with the clan? Maybe?

....WAIT......

MORE IMPORTANTLY---WHAT'S THIS THING VAMPIRE BITCH IS SAYING HE "ARRANGED"???

HE BETTER NOT BE REFERRING TO OLIVINE, I SWEAR TO GOD I'MMA THROW HANDS---

6) Oh? Could it be? A Responsible Kuya™???

I am now a bit less upset with Foxy Grandpa! I'm impressed he had the foresight to tell Vampire Bitch not to force the drug onto people.

...Although, the fact that Kuya felt the need to bring this up in conversation could have worrying implications. Like, does that mean he found out that people were being forced to take the drug? 🤔

Either way, I'm glad Kuya is going to cut ties with this shady place.

7) Huh, it seems like Vampire Bitch is REALLy REALLY officially being cut off.

(◔_◔) Dawg, that superficial answer will NOT impress the fox...

I think the answer Kuya was looking for has to do with my theory of what Kuya himself was looking for in Elysium---and also why the word "Dream" is plastered all across this event. He probably wanted to hear something along the lines of, "To escape from reality," "To live in a dream," or hell, "To be happy."

But Vampire Bitch must never have been in this business for these reasons---or maybe he forgot it over the years. Now, he's just corrupt.

8) NOOOOO!!!! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!!!!!!

THIS

BASTARD

WAS TREATING OLIVINE LIKE AN OBJECT

AND PLANNING TO "GIFT" HIM TO KUYA??????

I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!

,; (ง 🔥 ﾛ 🔥 )ง ;,

Gang. Think about this for a second. He never says he's going to "introduce" Olivine to Kuya. He refers to Olivine as a form of "entertainment" and a "gift."

This BASTARD was trying to PIMP OLIVINE OUT WITHOUT HIS CONSENT.

And why might he think he can do that? What methods do you think this DRUG DEALER might have used to achieve that, hm?????

This is REALLY HELLA BAD.

HOW DARE HE?!?!?!?!?!

*ENRAGED SCREAMING ECHOES INTO THE NIGHT*

🔥 End of report! 🔥

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Witches, Bitches, and Beasts

Not Natural ✨ The Devil's Trap ✨ Holy Water ✨ The Demon's Altar ✨ Midnight Meeting ✨ The Hunter's Trap ✨ Sharp Secrets and Bloody Blades ✨ A Hunter's Beast Tamed ✨ No Chick Flick Moments

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: SPN inspired, ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats), demon Kells, hunter Dom, threats, secrets revealed, Tom being Tom, magic, drug use, showing off, fighting, threats with a weapon, choking (not the fun kind), drastic misuse of prayer, talks of mpreg, curses, talks of infertility, mentions of voyeurism, PTSD, physical attack, implication of physical attacks being foreplay, grinding, dry humping, needy boys, finally opening up, mentions of abuse and possible rape (his parents long ago not them but still be safe), boys not so secretly in love ⚰️ rating: mature

When Dom returned to an empty car he was surprised but honestly not too annoyed. He'd been through and learned a lot he probably should have already realized and he was exhausted. His brain was buzzing with too much information and voices he couldn't quiet but Tallulah always relaxed him. "Fine Kells. I'll see you in the next 'otel. If I let you in."

Kells grumbled at Dom's voice in his head but he couldn't hide a smile. He shouldn't have been able to hear the boy's voice like a prayer but maybe it was just the blood they shared. They'd exchanged every bodily fluid almost and he hoped it wouldn't be long for the rest- that was all that was locking their minds together. That was it. The forest he found himself in was thick but he could hear the man cursing and he followed the sound mixed with… was Tom chopping wood or bodies?

"Brat child. I don't know why I try. Fucking-" It was mostly curses and insults hurled at the demon's lover but he could tell it was all from worry. He didn't know if he was there to calm the fear or scare him off completely but he'd figure it out as he went.

"Nice wards you got. I'm guessing you're the witch who taught Dom everything?" The beast asked as he found the man in a clearing. Tom jumped and whirled around with his axe raised but Kells caught it by the blade and pulled it from his hands. He tossed it away as if it were no heavier than a table knife but the witch wasn't impressed in the least. Just annoyed with him for interrupting.

"Obviously you're not just a demon or you wouldn't have made it through. What the hell are you? What are you doing with my Dom?" He huffed, tying his hair back in a messy bun.

"Aw, is this the 'what are your intentions with my boy' talk? Yeah, fuck that. You're as much monster as I am by this point. Some of the magic here hasn't been taught in centuries." Kells snarked back, crossing his arms over his chest. He could feel it in the air around them, scent it in the soil under their feet. Whatever the witch knew was ancient- wisdom or not.

"Perhaps I just had a good teacher." Tom hummed, putting his hands on his hips like some angry mother about to scold him. He even had the frazzled whisps of hair escaping to frame his stern face.

"I think you just look good for your age."

The witch scoffed and turned to magically move the wood to the pile next to his cottage. Cabin. Kells wasn't sure but he was confused why he would cut the trees like a human if he was just going to use his powers on the rest. Maybe it was stress management, if so he needed a few more chops. "I could say the same for you. So, we've got that out of the way. We're old as fuck. I'm a witch, now it's your turn."

The devil glared and offered some help, snapping his fingers to move all the pieces at once. Maybe he was still trying to show off, he wasn't sure. "You know what I am. Garden variety demon."

"Oh please, even if you were only a demon it wouldn't be garden variety. You're stronger than a prince of hell but it's because you're not just from hell. You were never human. You haven't died. You teleport but you don't smoke out. You can heal."

"Oooh, big fan, huh? Is that why you're so upset with Dom? No offense, you're cute and all but not my type." He joked. He wasn't weirded out exactly but he didn't like anyone knowing so much about him.

"No, you just like whatever your father likes." Tom threw out the truth like holy water and Kells couldn't help but growl at the burn. His eyes flashed their true form as the sky darkened above them. "There you are. Nephalem. I've never actually seen one. Can't even get your wings up can you?"

The demon cursed, summoning a blade to his hand as he teleported closer to the witch. He couldn't kill him though, it would hurt his lover too much. He refused to damage Dom like his father had, he wouldn't steal the last of his family even if it meant the boy finding out and leaving him. He swallowed a scream and his power, throwing the blade to the ground. As he felt his gaze bleed back to human Tom furrowed his brows. If he didn't know better he'd think he'd finally impressed the bastard. "I don't have any. There's not a fucking drop of angel in me. Please? Not enough to count. No one can know."

The witch looked him over, he didn't mean to let the devil shake him so badly but it was… such a real moment to see. He could have easily tried to kill him but instead he was calm- if a little desperate, and pleading with him? "He won't hate you. If anything he can help you I believe. You healed him, didn't you? And you can hear his prayers to you? He's already helping you. Let him." Damn. He hadn't meant to show kindness to the monster but he was seeing something he hadn't expected. "You love him."

"Shut the fuck up! Ew. I don't- I'm not- you love him." It was said with all the strength and tone of a little sibling loosing to an older brother bully. He hated the feeling of a failed burn.

Tom's brow went up so slowly it almost looked painful. "My mistake earlier. You're actually five. Of course I love him, but not in the way you do. You don't want him going after Astaroth, do you?"

"Fuck no! I want to keep him safe!" Kells grumbled as he took a seat on the left over stump.

"Careful, that'll grow back soon. It's spelled. I recycle." Tom didn't know why he spoke up, the thought of the demon being surprise impaled made him want to laugh but it might take a bit to heal and he'd never hear the end of it from Dominic.

The devil almost laughed as he ran a hand down his face. Of course he recycled. "I just needed his help. The Colt is hidden away and you have to be at least mostly human to find it. Those fuckers rebuilt it but hid it. I was just going to get his help that far and then take over. Originally I thought he might could come with me, he deserves his revenge too but-" He buried his face in his hands and muffled an exasperated scream. "I want him safe. Everything got messy." It was the bittersweet truth and he didn't know why it bothered him but it was getting worse by the day.

A scent hit his nose and he dropped his hands to find a joint being offered in front of his face. He took it gratefully and breathed deep, holding it in as the witch watched him. "You have to tell him. Everything. What you are, who your father is, all of it. He deserves better."

"I know he does." The beast sighed out before taking one more hit and passing it back. He watched as Tom took a drag before he commented. "I really didn't think there was any angel in me before I healed him but then I knotted him and-"

"You fucking what?!" Tom shouted so loud the forest went silent and then he choked on the smoke, coughing and flicking the lit end to land on the demon's arm. It bounced and landed on the ground and he waved his hand to remove it before something caught on fire. Just to make a slightly good impression he summoned a glass of water for the witch.

"Don't die. What the fuck dude?" He asked. Tom took it from him and downed half the glass before glaring a moment and splashing the rest in the monster's face. "Anyone ever told you you're a bit dramatic?"

"Go. Talk to him. Tell him EVERYTHING! Think about what the fuck you just said. Tell him if he wants to kill you I'll help him bury the body."

"Yeah. Dramatic."

"Just talk to him and bring him here. Are you really so dense? Think about it Kells, your father cursed Dom for himself. Why wouldn't you work as well?" Tom spoke as if talking to a child. He didn't understand how someone older than him was so bloody daft.

"Chill, I literally can't- um... do what you're worried about." He didn't even want to say the words. He wasn't sure if it was out of pain or fear but he'd always had trouble talking about it. He wasn't even sure why he was spilling his guts to Tom but maybe it was to make sure he wouldn't stop them from being together. Dom was his. "A Hunter thought I was my dad and cursed me. I guess they had a drop of his blood for the summoning but maybe I was closer… I don't know. I was pulled into the trap and fixed... basically. Magically. I can't… Yeah I don't think it works. Don't worry."

"Oh." Tom sighed as if all the breath was knocked out of him. His stomach hurt at the tone of the devil's voice and he couldn't help wondering if he knew the Hunter in question. He'd been around for a long time. "I- I'm sorry. That's not fair. Maybe I can help you reverse it? If you want. Someday. I still think you should tell Dom everything."

"Is that- are you being nice to me Tommy?" Kells gave his patent Cheshire grin but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I… I'll think about it. It's probably for the best. Who wants my spawn, right? Astaroth has made enough of us all over."

"I think someone might change your mind."

'Kells, if you don't come find me you'll 'ave to fuck ya'self tonight.' Dom's voice floated through his mind as the tether in his chest felt tugged tight. He had to lean over his lap to hide the erection forming there and he almost blushed. He thought it would be a while before his lover felt up to it again.

"Ew, go. You're both impossible. Seriously though, being him here. I'll help you search out the Colt and I can look into angel protection to keep Raziel out." Tom waved him off but he paused at that name.

"You know about the angel? You spy all the time, you fucking voyer?" He teased.

"Not the sticky bits. I worry for him though. I'll watch less now that you're there. But yes, I know about Raziel and… Ramiel." The witches voice went soft and it was the devil's turn to look at him funny. "Never mind, we'll talk later. Tell him I swear to be civil with you. Just come."

"Oh I'll make him cum alright." Keliphos joked, winking at the witch before he vanished, leaving Tom to faux gag at his words.

🖤☠️⚰️☠️🖤

Dom was pacing the hotel room, his stomach in knots. A sadness had come over him a few times since his devil disappeared and he didn't fucking know why. He felt despondent and restless and he hated it. It didn't feel like it was coming from inside his mind, it felt like it was slamming into him from somewhere else. That mostly black eyed bastard. "KELLS!"

"You rang darling?" A voice purred in his ear as arms wrapped around him from behind. His Hunter instincts kicked into overdrive and without thinking he flipped his lover onto the ground from over his shoulder. He was a bit surprised how much the giant's height helped. Thankfully the demon laughed before he grabbed Dom's offered palm of help and yanked him down into his lap. "You might try a martini or something babe, not that I don't like your attempt at foreplay."

The human rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out like a child before sitting back on his partner's dick hard enough to make him curse. He crossed his arms over his chest though everything was a little sensitive. "You left." It came out more a whine than the grouch he was intending it to be but those blue eyes still softened.

"Only to figure out why your friend has a stick up his ass about me. Did you miss mine up yours?" He teased, groping at Dom's plush globes and grinding them together. It was almost insane how much he had actually been enjoying the high school-esque foreplay. Before they actually had sex that was mostly all they were doing and even something as simple as dry humping felt intoxicating with the kid.

"Please, you ain't 'ad me arse."

"Are you sure you and Tom aren't related? I can see the family resemblance." Dom scoffed at his playful words and he realized how the boy took it. He couldn't shake his head fast enough but he tried not to squeeze him so tight he'd bruise. "Not like that, holy shit. I meant the petulant bitch thing. Don't worry Domie, this cock is all yours."

The Hunter blushed before he could stop it and he swatted at his lover's chest. "So why did you go? You didn't kill 'im did you?"

"No. Damn, have a little more faith in me. We're homies now, he even said we should visit together. We just needed to smoke up together and talk shit out."

Dom let himself be led down to the beast's chest. He didn't know why he was apprehensive but something still felt off. "Okay. So wha's wrong?" He hummed, letting Kells kiss him gently and for just a moment he got lost in it as they melted together.

Keliphos sighed deep against Dom's lips and looked up at the boy. Fuck, he was gorgeous. How had he ended up here? "I came to you at first because the only weapon I know that can kill Astaroth is the Colt. I don't know if you know it but Samuel Colt made a special gun that's supposed to kill anything. I mean that's general obviously, it didn't work on Lucifer but… It's still out there. Only a human can get it. I should have told you. I'm still here because… because I care way fucking more than I should but Tom helped me see I need to fucking talk to you. Before we do anything else." He tacked on at the end and the kid's brows furrowed.

"Alright. Talk."

The breath he took was so deep but he still felt as if he were choking on the story. His story. He didn't have to say everything though, right? Just the important shit. Just to be safe he waved his hand and strengthened the wards around the room. He didn't need anyone else hearing them. "My name is Keliphos and I'm- I'm a nephalem. Half demon. Half- half angel."

Dom sat up a little better to make sure he could hold eye contact with the demon- the nephalem underneath him. So much made sense suddenly- the way he was able to heal, the way his eyes appeared, even the scent of ozone that followed him everywhere. He'd only ever met demons that smelled of sulfur or nothing because they were masking the stench but Kells was special. "Okay. Wait- so you is an alpha? At least 'alf?" He was trying to keep his voice level but his stomach turned. Could something be growing inside him? If so… how was he supposed to feel about that?

"Shit- stop before you spiral!" Kells interrupted his thoughts and tucked his fingers under Dom's waistline. He needed skin to skin contact. "I was cursed a long time ago, someone mistook me for my dad and basically neutered me. Great punishment for him but-" He paused and prayed to a heaven that wasn't listening that Dom wouldn't run. But hey, they helped him before so maybe at least one or two angels were keeping their hearts open to him. Or waiting for the perfect moment to punish him. "Astaroth is my father. He kidnapped my mom- an angel, I don't know who, and kept them for months. From what I understand my mom was trapped in holy fire in a warded dungeon most of their pregnancy but the power blast from a nephalem coming into the world shattered the wards. They ran with me. They never returned to heaven from what I understand. I don't even know if they're alive anymore but he found me when I was four and took me with him. When hell was created he hid there with Lucifer. I grew up there but I always hated him. I've been running and fighting since I could escape."

Dom didn't speak, he could barely breathe as he looked at the creature below him, bearing his soul. Part of him said he should run but most of him just kept thinking how strong the nephalem's mother was. How much they had in common. "I could have been your mum." He whispered, his heart racing and his eyes burning with tears. "I'm not 'appy you lied Kells, seriously. I'll probably fhrow it back in ya face a few times but- I get it. I wouldn't 'ave trusted you."

"Do you now?" The beast asked softly, his throat felt too tight. Fuck. He'd never been so scared.

No. Maybe. "Yes? God Kells, the shite you must 'ave seen and yet you still ended up like 'is? You kinder 'an me!" Dom's voice broke on some noise between a sob and a laugh. "You was cursed because of 'im too! Like fuck- I… I don't even know wha' to say. Your poor mum."

"Hey, please don't? Please don't cry for me? I can't handle that shit." The demon cringed internally. It hurt the place he thought humans had souls.

"Well fucking tough! You tell me depressing shite, you deal wiv the tears. It ain't much anyways. Jus' take it. Ain't tha' wha' you say?"

"I think my reasoning for saying it is way better. Shit doll, come on. Let's lay down. You can tell me what we're hunting." He sighed, gathering the omega into his hold as he crawled on his knees to the bed.

"No, fuck tha'. Someone else can deal wiv it. We going for the Colt." Dom vowed, pressing soft kisses to his lover's cheek.

"Uh nope, I mean maybe. But let me at least take care of the monster here so it doesn't bug you. Then we'll go to Tommy's and get a battle plan. He wants me to talk you out of it."

"Fuck tha'."

"Yeah I figured." Keliphos grinned, turning to kiss the boy softly before he tossed him up on the bed. The kid didn't just bounce on the ratty piece of shit, he jiggled in all the right places and the demon wanted to bite every one of them.

Dom watched as the creature's eyes filled with storm clouds and his smirk fell to something far more predatory. He might be part angel but he was Dom's devil and he was craving a little darkness in him. The news was a lot to take in and he knew it would make him panic at some point but with how his lover understood him better than anyone had before he was pretty sure he could handle it. Lots of people had terrible in-laws and not everyone could kill them, maybe he should count himself lucky in a few ways. "But before alla tha'-"

Kells chuckled and stood up, reaching for the neck of his shirt to pull it off one handed. "Before all that I'm going to fuck you. Cool?"

Dom swallowed hard and licked his lips to catch any stray drool. Fuck, his nephalem was gorgeous. Obviously troubled if he needed to erase the pain of their conversation with sex so soon, but gorgeous. It wasn't like Dom could talk, he could already feel his core wet and hot and getting more needy by the second. Maybe they were both fucked. Maybe they were perfect for each other. He couldn't say that though so instead he whimpered- "C-cool. Yeah. If you fink it's best."

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤

I know I normally do every other day now but I was inspired. It's a bit long and no smut until next chapter but I promise, it's worth the wait! We have a few answers to our questions, I hope you're still enjoying it! Who is his mother? Why was he 'fixed'? How much angel is actually in him and why is it coming out with Dom? I hope you keep reading to find out! ⚰️🖤