#I always feel bad when im in it because everyone else seems to get it but im still stuck on concepts from months ago

[widevibratobitch]

hooohoooohoooooo i think i need to go back to therapy im starting to have Thoughts that im too stupid for again

[firebuug]

I really really really really really really really can't get out of bed to go to school today I do not want to

[light-wrath-paradise]

dude no offense but as a system you are so painfully obviously plural i mean this in a completely neutral way but youre plural boi

Are you for real or are you kidding? Please you gotta be honest with me about shit like this, I'm constantly afraid that all of my problems are actually universal (and I am the only one who's bad at handling them) and that I am just "faking" that there is something wrong with me.

[wuntrum]

can you speak on your severance s2 opinions? i promise this isnt in bad faith or anything, im just anon bc im shy lol, im genuinely curious

i'm gonna put this under a read more because it's gonna be long but...yeah [scratches head] if YOU the person reading this looooved this season and see nothing you didn't like about it, thats awesome and i'm happy for you. i also liked things in this season, and also its normal to be able to critique things you like, love and light <3 its literally just television

generally, yeah, i found myself disappointed with it. i think the writing this season, both the dialogue and then the actual character/world writing, fell flat and/or seemed like it was completely incongruous with the characters and world that we had seen in season 1. i think something i really appreciated about season 1 is that yes, mark was our main character and the lens we got introduced to both the inside and outside world, but both felt so much BIGGER than just him.

season 2, the entire plot and world and characters bend and contort to make mark like, the center of the universe lol. it's kind of ridiculous, the extent to which the world revolves around him now. it makes the world feel SOOO small. parts of my favorite worldbuilding aspects are seeing how the outside world feels about severance--i think the part where we see how working as a severed employee makes it almost impossible to work anywhere else is great! and in concept i like seeing other towns that have been devastated by lumon's industrialization, though i don't love the execution that we got. so like...everything lumon does is about mark? ALL of it? i know we don't know exactly how long lumon has been operating but like...they've been working on this stuff for longer than two years, lol. like, how many files have dylan completed? irving? petey? that girlie who wrote the lexington letter? is all of their work literally meaningless? like i get that there were people before gemma who failed the tests and they died, sure, but what about when mark started working there? what about the files that irving started and didn't finish, why don't they care about those? ohhhh right, because that's not the one that mark's working on. i get that it'd be a big deal if they got it to work fully once, but surely they'd want to make it work AGAIN, right??? like a science experiment?? i just wish we got like, A nod to other people on the testing floor, because i think the implication is that all of them are working on files connected to…different people, but maybe they're all just different versions of gemma?

honestly all of the innie stuff this season just felt so…idk, aimless? it feels like parts of the building only exist when the writers want them to, and just generally are not interested in exploring anything outside of the romantic aspects for all of these characters. like sure, after the season 1 finale, their asses are not gonna wanna work (EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY DO? TO MOVE THE PLOT ALONG?), but where's the camaraderie? what about all those other people in O&D, they literally export things to the testing floor, maybe they know about gemma? fundamentally i think the thing that's the most frustrating about innie mark is that they keep telling us that he doesn't care about gemma. which, sure, outie gemma, he doesn't have that same connection with as helly, whatever. but also, he DOES care about her, he literally knows that that's ms casey and that lumon was just going to do what they always do when they fire people????? like s1 mark cared soooo much about his coworkers, ALL OF THEM, even the ones that weren't there anymore—seeing petey and then ms casey get removed was like, a HUGE deal and vital to his growth as a character!!!! and the way that they constructed this whole season basically to remove everyone that isn't mark and helly by the end. lol. i'm honestly shocked that they didn't make a new version of the desk that was just two chairs, like dylan was just excluded from the finale except for when they needed him to come in and hold the door against mr. milchick. again. lol

i don't inherently have a problem with exploring the romantic stuff, i think that could have been done well, but i just don't think it was. and that's primarily because, i think the writing this season for helly was ass! they took away her agency and subjugated her to be just the love interest for mark! especially with the finale, i just feel like the helly i know would've been like mark, what are you doing??? go?!? like she wants to take down lumon, THAT's what will take down lumon! like whatever, mark made the choice that he did, but helly playing along with it makes no fucking senseee. like they want us to think that it's the same ol helly we know and love, they give us crumbs of her anger, like when she's rallying the marching band people or whatever, but again, only when it's plot convenient. WHY WOULD SHE NOT ATTACK JAME? he's like 90???? and helly doesn't like this man???? she has nothing to lose???? fucking THROW something at him helly!!!! the helly that tried to chop her fingers off and hang herself and gave that speech in the s1 finale is not in the room with us. and i don't mean this in a way where i think it's helena again, it's not. they've just completely fumbled her character because they want mark and helly to be together at all costs. and honestly, i think it's so reductive to make this show just about ships, but textually it feels like that's what they want us to do, and i think that's sad. again, it makes the show feel so SMALL, when the world within it used to feel so BIG and like we would want to learn more about it. i care about mark and helly--before they kissed!! i think it was rewarding to see the ways they challenged each other and grew as people!! them as a romantic thing could work but they haven't put in the work to MAKE it work. and, it feels like of redundant even to say, but i do think it's fucking ridiculous to write a story where we get kissing and fucking for allllll the straight characters and then the one gay couple doesn't even get a kiss before separating them completely and writing irving out of the show, basically. like what are we in, hayes code era television?

but yeah, the information they chose to reveal vs what they didn't was also frustrating. i honestly wish they revealed less! there's so much TELLING this season. it feels like they think we're stupid (which, i can't speak for the entire population watching the show, maybe some people literally do need mark to look at the camera and explain everything, idk). like there's sooo much clever storytelling in the first season that just, completely gets snuffed out from overexplaining. i understand in the finale that oMark needs to tell iMark about why he did all of this but like, WE as the audience already know??? we don't need to see this?? and cobel confirming stuff i feel like we already knew about how the numbers work and like, i just don't knowwww. like you can just show me it, i was picking up on it. like we know about the four tempers, you show it to us all the time, cobel having to look dead in the camera and explain it just made me feel like there was a better way we could've done this. i do think some stuff benefits from a "hard" confirmation. like i'm glad they confirmed the helena thing, BECAUSE it backs up and supports all of the lovely and subtle things they had already shown to prove that it WAS helena! like i've known since the first episode LOL, so they do KNOW how to do subtle storytelling. and i think the gemma episode was great, i loved seeing her as a character and thought it gave her so much depth. but again, i think allll of the explaining they do this season not only snuffs out the fun of speculating on the viewing end, but from a writing perspective it just kind of writes them into a corner. i think they're focused too much on making these elaborate set pieces and events take place without thinking of how they fit together, not only on like a writing/episodic level but just the world of lumon at large.

i think a great way they showed story in the first season is through the paintings, and through irving and burt bonding over the paintings! like it not only establishes the lore of kier and then we get to learn more about them as characters through their reactions to the paintings. the paintings this season, honestly, were weak, they were so heavy handed. love and light to whoever painted them, but they were nottt doing the job for me.

(this is a small thing, but like…the intake questionnaire asks them to "name a US state or territory," so they KNOW that delaware is a state. so why would they think the equator is a building? again its just like. a cutesy moment for mark and helly to banter but they could've done it in a way that isn't contradictory to like, our understanding of what information crosses over the sever and what does not).

i keep thinking about the ORTBO, and it just seems fucking CRAZY to me that they aren't freaking out about SEEING THE SKY? BREATHING FRESH AIR? FEELING FIRE? SLEEPING?? WASN'T THE WHOLE THING THAT THEY COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP???? i guess my impression of how the chip works is that the technology doesn't know how to handle when they enter a subconscious/asleeep state, so the innie and outie memories begin to bleed together, hence why dozing would be a bad thing on the job. but again, they clearly had this idea of how they wanted irving to reveal that it's helena in the waterfall, and yes, i did enjoy the spectacle of the episode, but its another example of how they'll build these moments and only focus on what they want to see. like there's so much interesting stuff that they could explore and just choose not to, because (usually) it doesn't involve mark, or mark and helly.

also, i'm just gonna say it, i feel like the writing for the women this season all was kinda bad! it's, again, a byproduct of the world revolving around mark now. reghabi is brought into the story when mark needs her, and cast aside when he doesn't want her anymore. devon has been completely reduced to mark's lackey, like i guess ricken and the baby are fucking fine or whatever??? because she only exists when mark is around, and her only job is caring about mark (which obviously yes, they're siblings, of course they care—but s1 devon had a life outside of mark as well). cobel is only brought back into the story to explain to mark how cold harbor works. i said this before but honestly i like the concept of her little solo episode, though the execution wasn't great, because at least she was doing something on her own (except for when she needs that guy to help her. heaven forbid a woman does something of her own accord without a man to help). and again, helly is completely flanderized to be mark's love interest. i think there's a way to have mark and helly be together and them be their own people, but for the length of the season they did not have the proper time to unpack all the shit from the ORTBO episode so everyone just…conveniently gets over it very quickly, like in the span of a day. like i do think it's a jump to go from "i don't trust you, are you even you?" to missionary under plastic tarps that quickly, i'm sorry. and i think even gemma suffers from this fate as well. i think with hers it makes more sense, like she fucking loves her husband, but i wish she was given opportunities to like…want things for herself, too. like she hasn't been outside in two years! i bet she misses her job, her students, her family, devon, ricken, like anyone outside of mark? but she has to be the tragic love interest that can't be with mark but can't run away from mark, either. she's reduced to set dressing for mark and helly by the end.

they constructed this season i think, with the hopes and knowledge that they'll likely get a season 3. which yes, we know now that it's been confirmed and approved or whatever, but they didn't know that when making season 2, and it feels like no one got a full character arc. it's all start and no follow through. we've had the same "mr. milchick experiences racism in the workplace" moment like what, five, six times, and yet we haven't even started to see him DO something about it yet? like sure he told mr. drummond to eat shit, but then to play along with the minstrel show cold harbor shit, they just didn't care about giving that plot line any action so it'll just get brushed along to season 3. (and while there's intentional commentary about race in the show, it also feels like there's unintentional consequences to their writing choices that upholds the whiteness. like, natalie is just forgotten about, reghabi is dropped as soon as mark doesn't want to play with her anymore, ms. huang barely gets to do anything before being written off and sent away, and yes, i do think having gemma suffer as mark and helly skip away is part of it. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, sorry!). i think dylan is maybe the closest we get to an interesting arc, and i enjoy the inclusion of his wife, but even he's reduced to JUST this story, only getting to talk to mark or helly when the writers need him to, i guess. and the stuff with burt and fields is so nothing, like it feels like it should be going somewhere but they're just leaving it open for season 3 (i guess??? even though it seems like irving isn't going to be in it at all, so why would we be following burt and fields??? and also don't even get me started on how the outie irving stuff is just NOT EXPLORED AT ALL. like whatever sure who the hell cares, sorry for wanting to see that go somewhere or whatever).

it's too early for full reintegration to happen so, we'll just finish that in season 3. (then why introduce it so early in season 2? ohhh right, we need cliffhangers to end every episode on). it almost feels like they don't have faith that people will keep watching without introducing these dramatic moments, but it's all just gasps of breath, there's no actual momentum. like, i've already watched the first season, you don't need to bait me with the prospect of seeing meaningful progression and then take it away from me when the next episode starts. the structure of how episodes speak to each other is that they…don't? like obviously i don't need every episode to pick up on the exact moment the last left off, but the timeline of this season is just soooo strange. the first two episodes are in the same span of time, and then there's gemma and cobel's episodes back to back…it genuinely just feels like they didn't consider the season as a whole which, considering how much money and time it took to make it happen, makes no sense.

and to continue on the timeline aspect, it feels so confusing as to how much time has really passed. it feels like the wanted the structure of the first season, but the pacing mechanic of the first season (working up to the end of the quarter to get to the waffle party) makes the pacing of the second feel even worse. like a.) mark's completed like 3 files a quarter (if we assume he's worked there for 8 quarters, i.e. two years), so making THIS file the super special final one truncates the possible time by at least a third.but then also, b.) he's been at like 95% complete since like, episode 5..? again, i just think it should've been considered more during the planning stages. and it kind of boggles my mind that the creative team views the marching band in this finale to be analogous to the waffle party in s1 when, it's way closer to the music dance experience? (they said this in the like behind the scenes for the finale ep). and in that regard, it really does kind of feel like a retread that doesn't work as well because, again, it's all about mark! especially after the shit with the kier statue, why would mr. milchick play along with the song and dance, like it just feels like they wanted to use tramell tillman's dance experience again, and they wanted to use the colored lights again. he could've just stood by the door to make sure mark and helly stayed there, which was obviously the goal of having all those people there. and yeah, i get the work is mysterious and important or whatever, but the implication that they have ALL OF THESE PEOPLE whos sole job is to be a marching band makes no fucking sense, i'm sorry. i find it hard to play along with the worldbuilding, again it makes lumon seem like its run by like dr. doofenshmirtz or something, it's so cartoony. like are they a global and successful company, or are they incompetent and leave gaping holes for their employees to undo everything? this is THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN LUMON HISTORY and they couldn't…shut the door to MDR like they had before? the goat sacrifice room is directly outside the exports hall door? the music dance experience works so well as a catharsis moment because everyone has their own shit going on, and we get to see the guy who hasn't really disobeyed yet (dylan) finally snap, and we see the others come and support him as a TEAM. it's just spectacle for us, the viewer. and especially the thing where they make the panels with mark's face on it—HE CAN'T SEE IT???? i don't need fan service winking moments like that, i dunno, that just annoyed me lol.

anyway, i feel like i have more to say probably but i gotta go do things so, i'm gonna leave it here. in conclusion, i'm missing my friends from s1 MDR sooo so bad, i feel like i haven't seen them this season at all. i did like parts of this season, but overall it was not what i was hoping it would be. (i don't even really KNOW what i wanted it to be, and of course it doesn't matter what i "want," but i feel like what i "want" lined up with what they wanted to do explore with season 1 so…maybe that's where the dissonance is coming from). and whereas at the end of s1, where i left it being like "where are they going to go from here?? (as in, theres so many possibilities", this season finale has left me asking "…where are we gonna go from here?" because i'm left like, inherently incurious about the people we have left and the choices they've made. and, i feel like THEY (as in the executive team making it) must feel this way too, because apparently they've completely scrapped the writers room from this season and added on two new showrunners. good luck to whoever that executive story editor is LOL

[slytherinboysvip]

love letter.

the slytherin boys seem to have quite the crush, shame they’re too nervous to tell you face to face

mattheo riddle 𓆩𓆪 : you were sitting in class when professor snape told everyone to get their textbooks out, as you opened up the book a folded piece of parchment fell to your desk and you opened it suspiciously, smelling cologne sprayed lightly on the paper.

‘y/n, i genuinely don’t know why i can’t just approach you like i can anyone else, but i just want you to know you’re different. not in a bad way, in an intoxicating way; i want to know you, explore you. i see the way you carry yourself and it makes me want to lift you off your feet and show you how you should be treated like a queen. you’re absolutely stunning and all i ask is one chance to show you what you’re worth. -m.r’

𓆙

theodore nott ୨୧ : as you were walking into your dorm you noticed a crimson envelope laying on your bed next to a single rose, you were utterly confused as to who it could’ve been from and how they got into your dorm, yet you were intrigued. cautiously walking over to it and opening the letter.

‘cara mia, you’ve captivated me. your natural beauty is unmatched and simply seeing you focusing during potions is enough to make my day better. i swear my eyes are always on you any chance they can be and im tired of taking things slow. i want you to be mine y/n, my girl, i’ll be at your dorm tonight at seven; check your closet for your outfit. hoping you answer the door when i knock. - with admiration, theo n.’

𓆙

tom riddle 𓆘 : as you arrived at the library for your and tom’s study session; mandated by professor slughorn, you were confused as to why he wasn’t there because he was always on time. rather than seeing him, you noticed a small box on the table you usually sat at and walked over to open it up. you audibly gasped seeing a ring with the most gorgeous emerald as the stone, and opened up the letter that was under it.

‘im sure you’re quite confused and surprised as to where i am y/n, but im not good with words face to face. i find i need time to think on what to say to get my point across correctly. whether the feelings are reciprocated or not keep the ring, it��ll look lovely on your hand. as for the purpose, you..infatuate me y/n. captivate me? im honestly not too sure what my feelings are however for some reason you make me not want to ignore them. i dont say these things often or truly know and understand affection, but id be a mad man not to notice how gorgeous you are. meet me at the astronomy tower when you finish this letter. - tom riddle.’

𓆙

draco malfoy ☘︎ : as you entered the great hall you were greeted with whispering heads and smirking faces towards your direction, looking around with a confused face you slowly walked over to pansy and sat down next to her, whispering what everyone was staring at. she giggled and pointed towards the huge bouquet of your favorite flowers that held a note adorned with the malfoy family emblem. you looked at her surprised and opened the note.

‘y/n, sorry if this is too much, i honestly don’t think it’s enough but i don’t wish to bombard you with things too soon; though id do anything to make you happy. im sure you have an idea of who i am based on the emblem, but just hear me out. we’ve known one another for years and ive silently admired your beauty each on of them. i dont wish to stay silent and regret anything in the future for not giving it a chance. you’re stunning and im an asshole who’s working on things, give me a chance? owl me, love. - yours truly, draco malfoy’

𓆙

lorenzo berkshire ིྀ: it was a usual day for you until you got to quidditch practice, walking into the house tent and going to your locker, when a note fell from the inside as you opened it. it looked like simple parchment but the handwriting was almost perfect, noticing a pink tulip inside your locker as well.

‘i know this is sudden but i can’t hold back my feelings any longer y/n. i thought playing with you would just help me see you as a friend, but merlin does it only make me want you more. your beauty and agility excite me, you excite me. i find myself looking forward to seeing you any chance i get even if it’s not even bloody directly talking to you. you’re an angel y/n and i would feel lucky just to treat you to one date; and hopefully more. i hope you feel the same and if not ill change your mind darling. - your favorite quidditch player enzo’

this better not flop i put my slythussy into this

[opiopal]

one thing that often crosses my mind, is the brothers watching mams fall in love with Mc and they just can’t bring themselves to be upset about it,

Because all of a sudden he’s getting lost in thought staring at them, he starts to actually save some money just to buy things for them, he gets bashful whenever they’re around and tries extra hard to tell a story or two were he seems cool.

At first they think it’s laughable(and maybe a little pathetic), but every time they go to tease him about it the only thing he can really manage is a simple “shut up” before continuing on, mostly because he knows they’re right. He’s inlove with a human.. and so what!? He’s the Avatar of Greed! One of the seven lords! The Great Mammon! He can do whatever he wants, however he wants, whenever he wants!

but as time passes he doesn’t even say anything back to them when they go to tease, maybe one day asmo leans over to ask what he could be staring at- only for mams to not even mumble anything back or look his way, because he’s just so occupied with staring at Mc who’s just across the room. Maybe they aren’t even doing anything, maybe they’re in class and the teacher called mc up to do a problem on the board- or maybe they’re at diavolos place and mc is chatting with someone. Whatever it is, the look in mammons eyes is enough to not make asmo offended from being blatantly ignored. Sure he knows he couldn’t understand what mams see’s in that human, but knows love when he see’s it. so, over time as asmo starts to watch his brother and the human, he gains a small appreciation for their dorky little relationship… though the appreciation stops being small since he fan girls whenever he see’s them holding hands or whenever mams rushes over to gift mc something small, only for mc to gush and act as if he just gave them the entire world! They’re both just the cutest together!! And he has no idea how he didn’t see it before!? Sure it’s funny to his older brother acting a fool,(when is he not?) but it’s adorable to watch him stumble over himself when doing something as simple as walking Mc to class! It’s just so cute!!

asmo then starts defending mams whenever the others say something or try to tease, maybe at first it’s a quick, “oh don’t say that,” “they’re cute! Don’t be so rude!” “Oh guys don’t tease,” But one day, when mc and mammon both leave the dining room, maybe to go grab something or to do a task that clearly doesn’t need two people, and asmo pipes up, ”you know, im serious,”

everyone turns to look at him a little confused,

“..as in they’re absolutely adorable together!”

“oh barf.” Levi says, not looking up from his phone, a few others mumble in agreement,

“what! You guys seriously can’t say you haven’t noticed how mammon is around them, it’s the cutest!”

There’s a moment of silence at the table and Asmo huffs,

“come on, when was the last time any of you saw him saving his money to buy someone ELSE something?? It’s clear he’s taking this seriously!”

they all take a second to think before exchanging looks with each other,

then from that point they all start to really pay attention- honestly, I could imagine mc and mams not really being quite open with their relationship when they finally do make it official, but they are REALLY bad at hiding it. so the entire household takes notice once the two start holding hands more often, giggling at seemingly nothing at all, running off together randomly at different points in the day, sitting much closer together during meals, and the two are always touching each other, from a full on grab to just leaning on each other. So of course instead of mocking mams for his feelings.. the teasing moves on to flustering the two about their very obvious not-so-secret relationship. Even luci joins in, occasionally asking mc when they’ll marry his little brother, which flusters the both of them. And unfortunately causes the others to join in.

at least they’re supportive<3

[cyberm4n]

You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!

pt1, pt2

this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21

cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive

other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.

left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.

■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least

■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship

■ which both are fine with btw

■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever

■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him

■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage

■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know

■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor

■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before

■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.

■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you

■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything

■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it

■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it

■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling

■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you

■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other

■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast

moving on

■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that

■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them

■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge

■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart

■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would

■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do

■ same if you're upset with both

■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition

■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(

■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.

■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough

■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments

■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt

■ anyways, they both come in, it's late

■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little

■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely

■ you've never cried like this before

■ it scares them. alot.

■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.

■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you

■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.

■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone

■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset

■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back

■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night

■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised

■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.

"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.

"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.

"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.

"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.

"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.

lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.

■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"

■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times

■ but he's impressed alastor even asked

■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.

■ that night changed a lot between them tbh

■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed

■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.

■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities

■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist

■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable

■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing

■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous

■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him

■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.

■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted

■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure

■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"

after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.

he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.

without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.

and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.

and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.

as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.

“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”

when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.

after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.

alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:

“just keep cuddling her”

[sccrim]

she’s just like candy ── toji fushiguro

ʬʬ . warnings ▧ ▧ smut w plot , teasing , choking , slapping , hair grabbing , oral male , degrading , praising , spitting , public sex , pnv , unprotected , cream pies

you teasing toji everytime he was around you. eventually he couldn’t take it anymore

i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i did.

1.3k words not proof read

"sorry to interrupt, but here's everyone's coffee." you spoke, giving everyone each of their coffees. you never mind grabbing them since it was always on gojos business card and he always insisted on you buying yourself coffee too.

"i didn't forget about your detail coffee mr. fushiguro." you smiled and place the drinks in the middle. you were bent over the around table. toji leaned back with his finger on his chin seeing your whole ass now. the way your short tight shirt fit perfectly against your thighs and ass. "anything else for you mr. gojo?" gojo nodding his head no. you smiled at everyone and closing the door behind you. toji reminiscing the way your outfit was tight on you.

you sat at your desk going through gojos schedule to add on or take off things he wanted. when you looked up, you saw toji. he couldn’t keep his eyes off your breast. you had on a white button up sleeve but since your boobs popped out you had a couple buttons off. "can i help you mr. fushiguro." you smiled. "why did you have to work for gojo and not me." he fake frowned. "because i wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you." you laughed. god, he loved that laugh. the way your smile lit up the room.

"i wouldn’t mind you getting me coffee anytime."

"who said i couldn’t get you coffee everyday. your one floor up." you teased. to be fair you always flirted with all the upper males. it just made your job easier for the day. women hated you for it but you didn’t care. you never once got complained on. "i don’t think gojo would mind if i stole you for a couple weeks."

"to do what for you mr. fushiguro? you have an assistant already." you playing around with your pen. toji eyeing your every move. "come find out." you laughed. you picked up the phone seeing that it was gojo. "yes sir?" you applied gloss on your lips. you didn’t care that toji was right in front of you. if anything you liked it. the way he would want your lips on him. "yes sir, i’ll get it done right away." you hung up the phone. "sorry mr. fushiguro duty calls." you winked, walking off.

if eyes could fuck, yours would be amazing. fushiguro groaned in annoyance, feeling his cock about to turn rock solid. "im done with this game." he whispered trying to find you.

you chewing your gum, waiting for the printer to print the copies for gojos next meeting. "come on." you rolled your eyes, seeing that the printer stopped functioning. you bent down to pull the cord and plug it back in. you heard the printer restart. "better fucking work." you spoke. you turned your body hearing the door close. "stalking now? thought you were better then this."

"i’m done with your games y/n."

"what games?"

"come on, don’t act stupid."

"you know what’s funny?" you laughed. "hm?" he walked closer to you as you were leaning against the counter. "everytime we have a conversation, you always seem to get hard? and yet you never seem to find me and fuck me." bold of you. "you have no idea how bad i wanna fuck the shit out of you."

"tell me mr. fushiguro, how bad?" you looked up at him with your lashes. toji getting closer to you. "i want you screaming my fucking name. telling me don’t stop. i want you in tears."

you got on your knees, unbuckling his belt. toji placing his hand on your chin while moving his thumb against your lips. "be a good girl and spit on it." he whispered. your saliva hitting his tip. your hand pumping his dick causing him to lean his head back. you place his dick in your mouth. going back and forth. toji soft moaning. gripping your head guiding you to go faster. the faster you went the more gagging happened.

he did not give a fuck. it turned him on even more. the way your mouth wrapped while his dick perfectly. you placing your other hand on the other half that couldn’t fit in your mouth. toji looking down at you. "fuck, take it all." he spoke. toji now, rocking back and forth as you continued to devour his cock. "look at you, being a fucking slut for me. how would gojo feel if he saw you being a dirty fucking slut in his printer room."

"unbutton your shirt."

you took your shirt off while he was pumping his dick. toji watched your take off your shirt when he lifted you up. you now sitting on your counter. he lifted your shirt up seeing your black thong. toji tapping his dick against your clit. he could tell you were wet just by the moist noise from just his dick tapping your wet pussy. "look how wet you are for me." he couldn’t wait any longer, he slammed into you, causing you to moan. toji thrusting into you at a fast pace. his head on your shoulder moaning.

"so. fucking. wet."

"toji—"

toji gripping your hair causing your head to lean back. toji giving your kisses on your neck. "holy fuck. y/n." he kept the same pace. hitting your g spot. "please toji— don’t stop."

"shit feels good huh?"

"fucking speak." you moaned in agreement. "can’t even speak. fucking pathetic." he kissed his teeth. "open your mouth for me." toji spitting in your mouth. you had never been fucked this good. "i’m gonna—"

"cum for me."your body shaking. "i’m not finished with you yet." toji turning you around. he slammed back into you. "i don’t care how many times you cum, you’re gonna be screaming for me." he slapped your ass causing it to be red. he placed his hands on your shoulder, thrusting into you. "you feel so fucking good." he moaned. his balls slapping against you. "toji—" you moaned back.

this is what he wanted and he got it. all those times you teased him with bending over, rubbing your leg against his, the way you placed your gloss right in front of him. "be a good doll and suck on my finger." he placed his finger in your mouth. toji getting harder, feeling how wet his finger was. "baby, you’re so fucking perfect. your pussy was made just for me." this man was so pussy whipped and you didn’t even care. you loved how his dick fit so perfect in you.

he wrapped his hand around ur neck, slamming into you. his other hand in front of your clit, rubbing it in circles. your body began to shake again. "i’m cumming—" toji loved this.

your body wanted more. you knew you would be sore but you did not care. you wanted this more than ever. your phone began to ring. "answer it." you nodded your head no. "fucking answer it." you grabbed your phone and swiped to answer it. it was gojo. fuck. "yes mr. gojo?" you tried so hard not to moan. "yes, sorry about the wait. the printer had to reset. so i had to reprint them. i’ll be done soon." toji going at a fast pace.

"fuck." you moaned. "if only he knew." he laughed. toji placed his hands on your hips, all you hear is the clapping against each others skin. "hang on just a little longer for me, doll." he moaned about to come to his climax. thrusting fasted and faster. "fuck i’m gonna cum." he pulled out and snapped his finger for you to get on ur knees.

pumping his dick as you opened your mouth. "fuck—" his breathing getting heavier, trying to catch his breath. "swallow it all for me." he finished in your mouth. you looked up at him with your innocent eyes following his command. "now go give gojo his papers." he smiled.

tags . @rissouu

 sccrim — all rights reserved. please do not modify, repost , translate , or plagiarise my content.

[ofpd]

1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator

🐮 barkamtza

why does this shit always happen to me

#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later

0 notes

📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas

Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/

32 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏺neronero

off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹

🏺neronero

nvm guys. ✡️✡️

🏛 vespasian

my turn lol

53 notes

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport reblogged

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶

Read more

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

fuck

7,235 notes

⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.

anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.

#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse

231 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael

did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo

#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.

7 notes

📚 stammaim reblogged

stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102

ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...

stopbeingpoor

ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something

stopbeingpoor

EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die

stopbeingpoor

gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-

📚 stammaim

lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!

#yehezkel #marta b. baitos

162 notes

🕎 yalla-hapoel

🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:

Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.

are you fr.

#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear

28 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged

📖 ben-zakkai

⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol

��� goel-yisrael

? what does this mean

🗡 abbasikkara

dw about it bestie

🛡 goel-yisrael

ok 💗 yay 💗

6 notes

👩🏽‍🌾 discoursedumpblog

I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.

Read more

152 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏛 vespasian

some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him

🏛 vespasian

AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎

📖 ben-zakkai

omg just came across this old post

🏛 vespasian

OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏

14 notes

🫒 a-simple-yid

yirmiyahu tzadak...

#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.

3 notes

[23xfgg]

BATFAM X WINX! READER

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALPHA 🐺: IM BACK *my wonderful omegas cheer for me* TO DROP THIS ONE THING AND THEN IM BACK ON HIATUS ‼️ *omegas start booing💔💔💔* THE NEXT CHAPTERS OF THE DRUG ADDICT/ SOBER RADER IS BRING WRITTEN ALONG WITH OTHER STUFF I AM DOING‼️‼️‼️

please be patient with me my omegas because I forgot my original plan for these flics and I'm just going on vibes😔

I also now have an inbox if you haven't noticed yet so please say what you and i will try my best to answer when i have time!!!!

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It was just a normal Wednesday afternoon…well as normal as you can get in Gotham. The sky was grey with clouds fixed in their positions despite there being a breeze making you regret not bringing your coat if you were planning to read in the park to avoid Damian today.

Damian wasn’t all bad as the nickname “demon spawn” suggest he is the only one in the family that actually likes spending time with you compared to everyone else. Always looking for you just to demand that you watch him train so you can learn some self-defence moves when you don’t have any home school assignments to complete, but really, he just wants you there whether he wants to admit it or not. You just rather spend your free time today reading fantasy books instead of watching him swing a katana for hours on end. Despite that, compared to everyone else it makes you feel content knowing not everyone in the manor finds you a waste of space even if it is one and a half of the people there (Jason is nice when he remembers you exist despite the one-year age gap).

Settling down in a secluded area of the park you sat under a rather large oak tree, fishing out your book out of your hoodie pocket and flipped to the last page you remember reading. You have read this series cover to cover ever since you first found the series at 10 years old. Despite you reading this book over a thousands of times, your interest of the series never wavered. The book showed various signs of age…yellowed pages and a worn-out spine, a telling showing how old the book was.

It hasn’t been that long since you started hearing noises resembling a fight happening not too far from you. Ignoring anything a normal person would do you got up from your spot under the tree and walked towards the commotion. A stupid decision since you only had a hardcover book to defend yourself if need be. Turning the corner around a rather large bush/hedge, that’s when you saw it… a girl in a sparkly teal blue triangle top with matching blue shorts, her hair was a beautiful, caramelized brown with the same teal blue streaks in them. She was fighting off these little troll-like beings with a sceptre adorned with sapphires. Every time she took down one troll, three more would take the fallen one’s place.

You stood there shocked not even registering the translucent wing she has on her back. This shouldn’t be real the trolls, the girl, what seemed to be like magic beams coming from the sceptre, the ogre shouting orders at the trolls and threatening the girl on all the ways he was going to turn her into fairy dust when all this is over. You only came back to reality when the ogre like being saw you and barked at some of the trolls to attack you. With little thinking you raised your book and manage to hit one on the trolls that jumped to attack you, crashing into the other trolls that were attacking the girl fairy (?). Unfortunately, the book got logged into the trolls’ horns and claws, so you were now left defenceless with no phone to call for help as you left that in your bedroom in the manor. Maybe you should of watch Damian train today.

With nothing more to defend yourself with, a horde of these trolls (by the ogre’s orders) all charged at you with a speed that didn’t give you enough time to think about what to do next. In fear you just had your hands up coving your face and your eyes closed hoping to minimize any impact caused by the trolls but instead, you heard demonic high pitch screams and multiple thuds. Looking up from your arms you saw the scene, the trolls were either lodged in trees or just on the ground knocked out. Why? You don’t know.

The ogre seems to be shaking in fear as he opens a portal and barked orders to trolls to ‘forget the sceptre’ and return since the mission was a bust. Frozen in confusion, you stood there trying to figure out what just happened in a span of a couple of minutes. One afternoon away from the manor and your overbearing little brother turned into this nonsense. Movement was caught out of the corner of your eye, and you turned your head expecting to see a stray animal at least…not the girl with the sceptre, struggling to stand. For a moment you forgot that she was there, but quickly, you ran over to her and helped her up onto her feet. She stared at you with her pale blue eyes that seemed to have an iridescent white cast over them. You asked if she was okay taking not of her outfit change from the sparkly top, shots and wings combo to a sleek blue dress that matched her eyes adorned with pears varying in different shades of white and pale blue. The silence in response made you think she wasn’t but then she suddenly attacked you with a hug making you both fall on your back. The girl quickly got up onto her knees, grabbed you by the shoulder and asked/ yelled one question.

“OH, MY PEARLS, THNAK YOU FOR HRLPING ME BACK THERE! ARE YOU HEADING TO ALFEA TOO?  WITH MAGIC LIKE THAT YOU HAVE TO BE!”

Clearly this girl was harmed in some way… because magic, Alfea? It just made no sense. Magic is real but you have non... so what was she talking about? This was just supposed to be a simple afternoon before all this happened. And on top of all that you lost your book because it was stuck on that troll.

You should of said yes to Damian today...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

will this new series ever get a follow up... idk ask the author

also no tag list because it is a new fic!!!

AND YES IK THIS SONDS TOO SIMALER TO EP1 OF WINX CLUB I GOD FOBID AN ALPHA GETS INSPIRED

anyway alpha out 🐺🐺🐺

[noharaaa]

𝐌𝐚𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧 & 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐠 (𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐬 𝐱 !𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) II

Author’s Note: Disclaimer! This plot is not to encourage drug usage! Don’t do drugs people!

• Reader has no specific gender.

• Parody fic! This is all for jokes.

Enjoy Reading!

╰᭡⿴༘͜─𖧷̷۪۪᪇ ༘᪇𖧷̷۪۪⃟ꦽ⃟:: ᰰ۪۪꧇⿴༘⃕▦᰷᰷ᰰ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:

Back in your more questionable days, Choi Su Bong was a frequent (and unforgettable) customer. He’d show up at the oddest hours, paying in cryptic compliments and half-finished rhymes while buying from your stash. You were just trying to make a living, but he treated every transaction like a chapter in some epic cosmic romance. He was the aspiring rapper who thought the universe revolved around him, and you were the unlucky drug dealer stuck listening to his "intergalactic" bars. You thought those days were behind you….until now, when fate (or bad karma) brought him crashing back into your life in the most ridiculous way possible.

prev >>> part 3 ‖ 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

Before the next game, Six-Legged Pentathlon, everyone else appeared to be either psyching themselves up or planning their strategies. You had formed alliances well after the first game, teaming up with Se-mi and Min-su, both of whom seem like mentally balanced individuals. But then, as the timer for team formation was coming to an end, you caught a glimpse of something unsettling from the corner of your eye.

purple hair. Of course.

You already knew who it was before you even turned around, you felt him tap on your shoulder as he stood there with Nam-gyu by his side. “Hey, dealer,” he drawled, his purple hair catching the harsh fluorescent lights above. “Miss me?

Before you could say anything, the buzzer rang, locking you into a team with them.

“Great,” you muttered, already feeling a headache creeping up your brain.

As you sat in the circle waiting for the caterpillar race to begin, the five of you were herded to the starting area, each group bound together in teams. You knew a disaster was waiting to happen. You were seated next to Se-mi, while the purple-haired headache was seated on your other side.

And just when you thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, out of the corner of your eye, you spotted them.

Thanos, slipping Nam-gyu a… pill?

Your eyes widened as Nam-gyu caught your gaze and nudged Thanos, who turned toward you with a grin. “Enjoying the show?” 

You almost rolled your eyes, trying to look anywhere but at the visible build of sweat collecting near his hairline. He was fidgeting like a kid who’d had too much sugar, his leg bouncing up and down like he was ready to launch into orbit.

Classic signs. Oh, great. He’s freaking high.

Nam-gyu leaned over, whispering with an amused grin “Boss said you’re a drug dealer?”

“I was” you corrected sharply, shooting a glare his way. “Past tense.”

“Oh, right. Boss said you were the best.”

Thanos tapped his chest unfazed, “Still got it,” he murmured, shifting his shirt slightly to reveal a silver vintage cross necklace tucked inside. “You know….in case you’re interested.”

“I said im not a dealer anymore. I’m already told you im here to survive, not relive my ‘glory’ days with your… whatever that is.” You gestured at the pill situation vaguely.

“Oh, come on, Dealer! Not even a little for old times’ sake?”

“I’m serious, don’t call me that.”

You folded your arms, determined to ignore him. But then the game announcer’s voice boomed out of the speakers, and you watched as the first group of players was herded to the starting line, their faces pale as ghosts. Your stomach twisted into a knot in ways you hadn’t felt in years.

Okay. New rule, no panicking. you said to yourself.

Except your body did the exact opposite.

As you watched the first few teams fumble their way through the grueling physical challenges, the knot in your stomach tightened. Sweat beaded on your forehead, and your body went stiff..

Thanos noticed your unease because of course he did. He always had a knack for spotting weakness and exploiting it.

“Nervous?” he asked, leaning in just enough to make your skin crawl.

“I’m fine” 

You knew that was a damn lie. You’re scared to death!

“Just a thought you know…” he whispered. “You never know when you might need a little… boost.”

Se-mi moved closer to your side, “Is he for real trying to sell you drugs right now?”

“Apparently. This guy has no off switch.”

He elbowed you softly with his arm in an attempt to get your attention once again. He rotated the pill in his fingers, pretending to check for defects. His lips curled into a sly grin as he shot you a sideways glance.

"Tempting," he whispered at random in English.

You shot him a glare, but your heart was pounding, and your hands were clammy. The anxiety was bubbling up, making it impossible to think straight. You hated that he was there, with that stupid pill and that stupid face offering an easy way out.

“Fine, dammit. Just give it to me” 

Welp! There goes your stubborn pride…..

His grin widened as he pretended to ponder for a moment longer, holding the pill up to the light like it was a precious gem before finally handing it over. “Your wish is my command,”

This guy needs a good punch in the face (gotta make it out of here alive first!).

You swallowed it with a grimace after snatching it from his hand, waiting for the tension in your chest to ease. It wasn't too long before the sensibility of relief crept into your system.

For an oversized grapehead-looking guy? Maybe he wasn't entirely useless, just maybe. But admitting that out loud? Never in your life.

prev >>> part 3 ‖ 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

╰᭡⿴༘͜─𖧷̷۪۪᪇ ༘᪇𖧷̷۪۪⃟ꦽ⃟:: ᰰ۪۪꧇⿴༘⃕▦᰷᰷ᰰ

Author’s Note: (Leave a like! Or reblog! I respond to anyone ❤️)

@nikoeatschemicals

@audrey8864

[mayaree-darling]

can you write me a claude fic? pwetttyy pleaseee beshiiiieeee 🥺HAHAHAHAHA

i need one im begging on my knees pleaaaseeeee 🫴

~ your lovely bestiee 🥰

all these (stupid) little things // claude de alger obelia

Pairing: Claude x Reader (ft. Toddler Athy and Felix)

synopsis: surely claude can enjoy some peace and quiet, right? surely nothing stupid will happen, right?

from mayaree: witch. you know i cant say no to u right now. hayyyssss 😒 everyone else can consider this my break time (who knew 32k words could be so taxing omg)

content: stupid fluff; toddler!athy coz she was so cute; no need to think about what point in the story this was: you guys are just a happy family and claude is still emotionally bankrupt

word count: 2k~

The breeze that came in through the window was warm. Maybe summer was rolling in quite early. Nearby trees tapped at the walls where it could hit, but it wasnt screeching to the ears. A part of him thinks they could be rain, but that would be stupid with all the sunlight pouring into his office and the heat coming in through his window. The muffled quiet was starting to get to him. He could feel his eyes getting heavier.

Claude never used to notice little things like this. It was always the pain in his chest that would never go away. The heaviness in his bones that never seemed to want to go away. And despite everything he did, there were also the thoughts that always seemed to stay. The things he noticed were all trapped in a mortal body and it was taking its toll on him.

Well, at least it used to.

Now, because of two little idiots who wormed their way into his life, he was thinking all these stupid thoughts, muffling everything else he felt and thought of. Noticing too many things. All of them so... stupid. Although he wouldn't so brazenly say it to the two idiots. Or maybe he should.

Another breeze passes by. His pen had stopped scratching on the document in front of him and was now making a large blotch on the paper. His eyes are closing.

"Claude!" "Papa!"

Ah. Speaking of those two idiots who wormed their way into his heart.

He pulls the pen away from the document - it was completely ruined, the ink gone and went tore right through it - and set it aside. He was completely awake now, hands coming up to rub at crystal eyes. Oh. In hindsight, you would get angry at him for doing that now that he thought about it.

Too late now.

The door all but bursts open as you and Athanasia make your way in. Felix, ever the dutiful soldier - to you and Athy now apparently, not Claude's - follows in your wake, a sheepish smile on his face as Claude glares at him. When his eyes turn to you and Athy, his face goes back to being blank, only a subtle softness to them almost none could have noticed. However, Felix picked up on it immediately, and assumed to stand behind Claude in the pretext of standing behind his superior; truthfully, he needed to hide his knowing smile lest he get another glare.

"What do the two of you want now?" he takes another piece of paper from the pile and starts working on it. Well at least now that he had that two of you around, he won't fall asleep. He starts working on it again.

From his peripheral, he sees you and Athanasia hesitate. You and the smaller girl share a look, suddenly the two of you were at a loss for words.

"Give us a minute."

To his surprise he watches as you both walk farther away from his desk and lean towards each other to share conspiratorial whispers.

"Mommy are we sure?"

"I'm not gonna lie, Athy, I'm starting to wonder about that, too."

"Maybe we shouldn't ask Papa."

"Yeah, I'm starting to think this was a bad decision."

"Yes, it's rather late to back out now," Claude doesn't even look up from his papers. "You barged into my office and now you're whispering to each other like I can't hear you."

A shiver crawls down both of your spines. You and Athy stand up straight, turning back to Claude with frozen smiles. He casts a lingering glance at the both of you, crystal eyes almost glowing, challenging. "If the two of you don't come closer, then you won't mind if I come and join you there, right?"

Athy hides behind you and almost to put the final nail into your coffin, she pushes you forward softly.

"Good luck, Mommy. Love you." Claude hears her whisper. Well, the first lamb was finally sent to the slaughter.

You suck in a breath and look at everything in the room except for him. "Ah. Well. Athy and I were just wondering. This is all hypothetical of course, so we were just curious-"

Not able to stand the tension, Athy pokes her head from behind you. "Would Papa still love Athy and Mommy if we were worms?" She waits for his answer patiently.

The silence was deafening in the room. Felix makes the mistake of letting out a muffled snort, but Claude is so surprised he doesn't even have the time to tell him off.

Apparently "wormed" their way in was far too appropriate a term.

Claude blinks. Once. Twice. Maybe the warm summer air really did get to him and he was dreaming. It would be a nonsensical one, and truthfully he hasn't had a dream in a while, but it would explain the absurdity of it all. But alas. He was very much awake and the two idiots had somehow found a way to be more idiotic.

"What do you mean by... worm?" He pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. He knew in his bones he wasn't going to like this conversation.

You roll your eyes and stop beating around the bush. With renewed confidence, you motion to Felix to help you move two chairs in front of Claude's table. Claude's frown twitches. Maybe it wasn't too late to pretend he was focusing on the papers after all. Maybe it would send the message that he didn't want to listen any further. "Don't pretend like you didn't just hear what I said, Your Majesty"

Or maybe it won't be too late to give the both of you back to where you came from.

...

On second thought, maybe just sending you back to your rooms would suffice.

"What do the both of you mean with... worm...?" he speaks slowly, purposefully. He hopes - wishes, at this point - that you would get the subtle threat underneath his voice if this conversation would carry on. However, you completely ignore it and turn to Athy with a pleasant smile.

"Athy, explain to your father what we meant by worm," your smile brightens impossibly more. In any normal - or as normal as it could be, considering it's you - circumstance, he would find himself staring, refusing to admit that he was admiring it. But right now he was finding it very hard to keep up with the ride of emotions he was currently experiencing for him to look at your smile.

Athy gapes at you for a second, giving Claude one terrified look - Claude returns it with a scowl - but she pushes through and he can only sigh more. Finally, Athy holds out her pointer finger and wiggles it like an incoming wave over and over again. "Like that."

"See? A worm." you turn back to Claude with a grin, not even trying to mask the mischief. "So, going back to our question."

Athy taps at her chin, gaining more confidence with you around. "Would you put Athy on a pillow and feed her desserts?"

"Why would I do that? What a waste of a good pillow." Claude sighs. "And what worm eats desserts?"

"Athy would!"

"Then would you put us in a pretty garden?" you ask, enjoying the conversation to your heart's content and ignoring your significant other's glare that was trying to pierce through you. Unfortunately, being in a relationship with said significant other had taught you to be as tough as nails once you started.

Claude closes his eyes, seemingly in pain. This talk was dealing him psychological damage more than necessary. "Let me rephrase my answer from earlier then. You'd eat too much."

"Papa can put us in a jar and make sure we have food!" Athy proposes, and you nod your head in agreement.

"Oh that would be nice! You can even put a bow around the jar so it would still look cute and homely." You smile serenely at the idea.

Claude goes back to his documents. He needed to block you out. Soon. Please. "I won't even put holes on the lid."

"Then we'd die, Claude." You sigh like it's the most obvious thing in the world. There's a pause and you blink in realization. "Oh. Anyway. What if you just-"

Claude puts his pen down. "Stop. Do you really want to know my answer? My true answer?"

You and Athy share excited grins before turning to him and nodding hurriedly.

"I would hate you both." He says calmly. "I'd throw you out the first chance I got. Call an exterminator. Fire the gardener while I'm at it for letting you into the palace, too."

You and Athy give out a sharp dramatic gasp at the same time, offended looks painted on your faces. Claude only offers a scoff. "I've been trying to give you hints this entire time and you missed almost all of them. Surely you don't expect me to take care of a couple of worms. I already can't handle you both as is."

It's your turn to scoff and you turn your head away from Claude like he was suddenly the worm. You hold out a hand to the young girl beside you. "Athy, come on, we're going on a picnic and he's not invited."

Athy gives quick nods of agreement, head turned away from Claude as well with wounded pride. Claude sighs. The both of you were so dramatic. He watches as you stand and head to the door before Athanasia stops and looks up at you.

"Can Felix come?" But Athy is already beckoning for the knight to come along.

You blink in realization and turn and beckon for him as well. "Yes, you're very invited to join us if you want, Felix."

"Oh, uh, well-" Felix could feel the tension from Claude, his superior giving him a quick glare in warning.

"You. Stand at the very back of the room." Claude doesn't look at you or Athanasia as you both whine at his orders, but he sighs again. He remembered Felix wasn't his knight anymore. "Keep 10 paces away from them."

"Yep. Understood." Felix stiffly walks closer to you and Athy, keeping a safe distance.

"Athy will save you a cupcake!"

Felix laughs hesitantly, "Thank you, princess."

"Don't save one for His Majesty. That's what he gets for not taking care of us if we were worms." You stick your tongue out at Claude, no matter how childish the action was.

"Right! No cupcakes for Papa!" Athy proclaims, and when she catches Claude's eyes on her again, she hides behind you once more as a shield.

Claude watches as you walk hand in smaller hand with Athy, exiting the room with Felix in tow. You order the knight not to close the door out of pettiness ("Let him get up and close it himself." Felix chokes but when Claude doesn't say anything, he follows your orders with a sheepish laugh.)

Claude hears you and Athy talk excitedly about what tea would match better with the desserts you were going to bring. He listened and waited for the footsteps to walk farther and farther away before letting out a breath.

His picks up his pen again, scratching away at the paper.

The breeze was warm. The sun shone high over head, but he knew that you would place yourselves underneath the larger trees in the garden, somewhere with lots of shade but just enough sunlight to break through the foliage. You'd eat through a concerning amount of dessert provided by the kitchen, readily made to accommodate Athanasia's sweet tooth. You'd have meaningless conversations that would go wherever, and come up with more stupid questions to ask him. Claude can already hear the sound of your laughter at the mere thought of it. He blinks. Did he actually hear you? He must be getting tired. Should he close the windows?

His pen scratches at the paper a few more lines. The breeze was warm, becoming stifling so. He sighs.

Claude stands up and only takes a minute to decide whether to clean up the papers or bring them with him so he had a proper excuse. But of course he didn't need an excuse.

Maybe he could pay his two little worms a visit.

✨ Masterlist ✨ KOFI/Commissions

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and belong to their respective creators. Their portrayal is merely my own interpretation of them and may not be accurate to their intended characterization. I stake no claim to the original works, only to the ideas and plot of the fictitious stories I’ve written them into.

[goldfades]

𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | paigey being your girlfriend - a list of relationship "headcanons"

─ warnings | in a bullet-point formatting, i hope you guys like it! fluff (lmk if yall want nsfw ones bc i can provide), paige being DOWN BAD, social media tingz, maybe alluding to being outed but not really, some angst but you can skip over it, paigey being protective (duh), nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | THIS IS SUCH LONG MESS BECAUSE I'M HAVING PAIGE BRAINROT RN, but i hope y'all enjoy nonetheless LOL being in my paige era i've read so many of these and i'm sure you guys have as well, so i'm making this as unique (or descriptive) as i possibly can to make it because it's more fun to read (and write cus im a sucker for details)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP STUFF

when you guys first started dating, i feel like paige would be kind of secretive about it

maybe secretive isn't the right word but very... private but not secret type of vibe (at least irl)

not because she doesn't want to show you off, because believe me, she wants to (she's a bragger what can i say)

but just because she wants to keep you all to herself for a while

she knows that as soon as people find out about it, everyone will be talking about it and making assumptions and she just wants to keep you to herself

at least for a couple months

she doesn't care about the public's opinions but she wants to make sure that y'all are LOCKED IN before she makes it public on social media

but it's clear to paige that y'all are very much locked in after the first couple weeks

she's not new to relationships and she's had her fair share but she can tell that it's different now

so the whole "not sure if i wanna hard/soft launch her cus what if we're not a long term" sentiment turns into "i wanna keep this special thing to myself ONLY for at least a couple months"

and of course the entire team knows paige is down bad for you, they've never ever seen her this WHIPPED

because paige seems like she'd be nonchalant and SHE IS... for people she doesn't give a fuck about

so when she likes someone, she LIKES someone

she is extra what can i say

they tease her about it and in any other situation, she would be annoyed but she loooooooves it because it's like "yeah i'm in the best most awesome relationship with the cutest sweetest and kindest girl in the PLANET"

you and paige would've definitely known of each other since freshman year but like... she's kinda intimidating so you sorta tried to steer clear of her

you were really close with some of the girls on the team, specifically azzi so you saw paige kind of a lot

but sophomore year, azzi kind of pushed you guys to be close and since she knows you guys so well, IT WORKED!

you guys clicked so quick and that doesn't happen a lot with paige, it takes a lot to earn her friendship

but you practically ripped down all her walls within like an hour of talking to her

definitely the first one to catch feelings

at least... to her ;)

very much friends to lovers trope with lots of sexual tension cus who doesn't love that?

i feel like after 3 months of being really close friends, you guys would spend like a shit ton of time together

you guys were ALWAYS together

she even tried to convince you to come to practice with her but you said no cus... what the heck

everyone knows... EVERYONE knows that paige likes you

and it kind of becomes like cemented (for paige at least) after she realized you were her literal COMFORT PERSON

like after every terrible, long practice or after losing games all she wants to do is be AROUND YOU so she could forget about everything

especially when she gets injured, she's such a wreck and the only person who made her feel better was you

it wasn't even what you said or what you did, it was simply just you

and after going through such a bad time with you, she realized that she liked you and she can't keep pretending

and she asked you (yaya!) and you said yes cus you liked her back (yaya!) and everything is just YAYA

so it's safe to say she knows she's found her soulmate within a month of knowing you

but she doesn't wanna seem like she's love-bombing you or whatever so she pretended to be nonchalant

which of course FAILS because she's down bad

so she tells you she loves you within like a month of dating

i KNOW it seems bad but you guys both felt it because of the whole injury and spending every moment together

when you know, you know vibes

she told you she loved you after you were there for her through some of the worst times of her life and you said it back of course and it's all cutesy

paige's love language is TOTALLY quality time and touch

even before you were dating, she just liked having her hands on you whether it was like holding your hand while walking through a crowd, or braiding your hair, or putting her head on top of yours or something as simple as just HUGGING you

but she kept it cordial of course cus y'all weren't dating

yeah that was all thrown out the window as soon you became her girlfriend

hands on you at ALL times, it becomes so subconscious neither of you even know you're doing it anymore

so remember that whole secret relationship thing?

well... everyone kind of figures it out online after like 3 months of dating

it was because of paige, poor girl couldn't keep her hands and lips off of you after a particularly hard game and somehow 🤨🤨someone gets a picture and it was all over twitter and tiktok the next day

literally "paige bueckers girlfriend" trending after an hour of getting posted

but neither of you cared too much about it because A. it was totally worth it cus the kiss was 😫😫😫 and B. she finally doesn't have to turn off her girlfriend mode when she's with you at games

cus she has the prettiest and best gf in the world and she wants everyone to know that

the only reason she was slightly annoyed was because she couldn't hard launch you on instagram :( poor girl had potential captions in her notes :( cus she's our little drama queen:(

but that doesn't stop her cus she ends up doing it! (shameless plug right there hehehe)

now that she can freely touch you and just be herself finally, she literally doesn't GAFFF

of course nothing like over the top because sure she loves PDA to a certain extent and she's an athlete so she needs to keep it civil

RELATIONSHIP STUFF

we've already covered how paige is a physical touch and quality time girly

and paige loves spending literally all her free time with you because you just recharge her

but it isn't in like an overwhelming way

paige understand that sometimes you need quiet time (or vice versa) but the thing is she doesn't even need you to talk just being around you is enough

so idk if it's necessarily QUALITY time but just being around you and spending every free second she has with you tells you that she is in love with you

paige is the most protective person IN THE WORLD, not just with you like in general

it doesn't even have to be someone she knows, if she sees someone giving someone else a hard time SHE WILL STEP IN!

and with her friends, y'all have seen her... she does not back down and will literally murder anyone who comes for the people she cares about

so if that's with people she doesn't know, and her friends, you guys can imagine how crazy she gets over you

if somebody says something even slightly consendecing or mean, slap. someone looks at you the wrong way? slap. somebody breaths wrong around you, slap.

obviously she won't lay a hand on them first but likeeee would she back down, nope

she is actually your guardian angel

like at parties, her hand is always on you and she never ever leaves your side

you need to get a drink, she's coming to

if you need to pee? she'll wait in the bathroom for you

yeah don't expect her to leave your side

because even when she IS by your side, there is always a weirdo in your guys' ear trying to get with one (or both!) of you

but yeah she's not afraid to defend you when it comes to literally anything

and this doesn't only apply to strangers, if there is someone that you know (your friend, her friend, etc) she WILL stand by you and defend you

like she doesn't shy away from confrontation, she will say something but only if you want her to

and GOD HELP THEM if you shed a single tear, cus the next morning you bet she's saying something

like i said, paige is a confrontational person and that means she's the biggest communicator

if she has a problem, she will tell you so that you guys can fix it

but sometimes she can come off a little argumentative and like she's just attacking you

she uses a lot of "you" statements so it seems like she's pushing the blame all on to you

so that can be the root of a lot of your guys' arguments when paige is only trying to solve the issues

but of course paige doesn't back down so she will be arguing with you even if she doesn't even know why, she just hates being wrong

but she doesn't let you leave or go to sleep unless the problem is fixed (or at least on the road to being fixed)

she'll give you space, she'll go another room to take a breather but she will not let you leave until it is fixed

usually after the breather you guys can come to an agreement and then paige usually hugs all the anger outta you

cus who could resist her?

if the argument lasts a couple days (it usually doesn't unless it's something serious) paige will talk it out with her mom or her friends

and you'll usually do the same

and paige will force you to sit down and talk about it until it is FIXED because she hates not being able to talk to you

and when you guys do eventually talk about it, especially if it's a serious topic, it will end with tears with both parties

but you guys always make up and everything will be better

okay okay no more angst ... for now hehehe

i feel like paige's nervous tic would be braiding the ends of her hair so i feel like that would transfer to YOU somehow

she just likes braiding your hair!!!!!! or just running her hands through your hair, it would help her relax

and if you're like me, it will help you relax as well

if you're black/have braids, she would only touch your hair if you let her!

paigey takes pictures OF EVERYTHING so obviously that includes you

her camera roll consists of ONLY you atp, like... 20% pics of literally anything else, and the rest would just be pictures of you or something to do with you

and oh my gosh don't get me started on the damn .5's of you, some of them are HORRENDOUSSSS and paige uses them as reaction pictures sometimes

and you found out from azzi that she does indeed use them in the girls groupchat

but she argues that you just look adorable which you respectfully disagree

oh and don't get me started on her tiktok drafts, she has at least 1,000 (rip her storage)

and when y'all started dating she just makes cute relationship tiktoks but she never posts them

EXPECT the "you're spinning me around, my feet are off the ground one" cus she wants to prove to the world that she has muscles

and the tiktok girlies will cry but WHO CARES!

oh and if you're on the basketball team, they will started to fan-girl over you as well

HELLA TIKTOK EDITS

and paige will favorite, repost and comment on them

like the most down-bad, insane comments you can think of

"GET THE STRAP GET THE STRAP!" is one of many ✨✨

if you aren't on the team, trust the tiktok girlies will find a way and they will make edits of you

and paige will do the same

obviously you do the same for her, your favorites are just paige edits atp (mine too)

ESPECIALLY THE GET IT SEXY ONE OMLL

and everyone will make ship edits and cutesy things like

"omg the way paige looks at her" and like a slideshow of paige being like all 😍😍😍

after paige gets more comfortable with like the media knowing about you two, she posts you every five seconds

usually like stories and stuff and especially if you’re also a basketball player, she reposts ALL your stuff

she is a proud gf !!!

she also has a highlight FOR SURE, she loves

also she def has like 10 diff wallpapers of you and her, some are really cute and some are really… 🫣

also paige strikes me as the type to like be texting you ALL DAY

and girl doesn’t care if you reply, she will send you 8 consecutive messages of different things

“omg look at the group chat 😂 *insert screeshot*” “baby they ran out of fucking caramel at dunkin, how does that happen ?” “i ended up going to a local cafe why did this shit cost me 9$” “baby you’re coming to my game on saturday right?” “HAHA look at this meme 😂” “why haven’t you responded to my tiktok’s in 2 days?”

yes she 100% uses the laughing with tears emoji argue with the WALL

or skull emoji

she also sends you 20 minute snapchat vlogs and they’re so chaotic, especially when she’s at practice or something

kk will steal her phone and say hi then you’ll hear them play fighting for like 80% of the vlog

also she does grwm’s on snapchat too when she’s at away games and her morning voice is SOOOO SEXY CUTE

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[teruthecreator]

gimme 1 and 17 dialtown ☎️

hiiiii griffin i hope you're having a good time at graduation. probably not since u sent this ask but hey man i get i too was on my phone during graduation. anyway

1. the character everyone gets wrong

oh boy where do i start with this. i mean like. tee bee aych i feel like most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of randy. like he's not pathetic for pathetics sake he kind of intentionally puts himself in the worst situations imaginable to feed his worldview of everything being bad for Him specifically and no one else. the fandom kind of babygirls him? like treats him softer and generally makes him more of a shy uwu guy rather than a person stuck deeply in his own fractured worldview that is intentionally letting himself get worse. like randy's whole route is about making him realize his happiness is His Choice, His Decision and not a work of fate/luck/unseen outside force that he has to relinquish control to, and everyone just goes "yeah but what if we make him sopping wet uwu yaoibait guy with oliver".

speaking of oliver i feel like EEEEEEEEEVERYBODY makes him way too wacky and not actually grounded. like, despite his many odd mannerisms and such, he is still one of the few characters who has a job and is able to Maintain That throughout his route (though, of course, in the good route it changes). oliver is a pretty stable guy, all things considered. sure he talks funny and has a general inclination for the ridiculous, but a lot of people kinda coke him up and let him run loose like he's a wild animal. and i think it's more fun if you ground him in a place of reality and then let him play. instead of being the guy to drag people into stuff, let him be a part of a scenario and see what his reactions are. much more fun. also i feel like a lot of people forget how, like, awkward he is? like he tends to apologize when he says really outlandish/forward shit and seems to view Himself as a "freak" in a way that would suggest he's aware of how he stands in comparison to most people. like dude knows he's weird, and that's not Always a good thing.

and yknow what while im talking about the main dateables i would be remiss to bring up karen because like. WOW. i mean this is a problem with most fandom spaces unfortunately but the way people straightman her is so fucking sad. like people forget she literally quit her job on a Whim because someone vaguely suggested leaving and she went full throttle. karen is impulsive and karen makes bad decisions based on rash judgments and she is generally not that hard to goad into doing something stupid. i mean, she agreed to a date with gingi. twice! that takes some real loose grips on impulse control to just go along with that. like sure she is a bit more deadpan than, say, oliver, but she does have a sense of humor. she likes to use sarcasm! she has wit she has sass. also she is like. INSANELY jealous and i feel like a lot of people dont hone in on that aspect of her being the reason why she is sometimes so rash. she is fiercely protective of those she considers "hers". she wanted to Kill A Giraffe because gingi liked it. she is jealous she is rash she is impulsive PLAY IN THE SPACE STOP MAKING HER THE DEADPAN STRAIGHTMAN ITS SO BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

okay that's enough of that but just know i could've done it for every character

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

maybe i am insanely ridiculously biased but there should more content of mingus and norm. or just mingus. or norm. those two are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fascinating and i feel like people kinda gloss over that. like they're similar beasts in their rampant paranoia and flawed perspective on callum/the world and they butt heads about it like crazy. generally their dynamic is one of the most interesting parts of chapter 3 to me and i feel like there really isn't enough chapter 3-focused content out there. we should talk about these guys more. and if i have to stand on a podium and take a stand there should be more content of MINGUS. girl is the driving antagonist of AN ENTIRE ARC. BASICALLY THE WHOLE GAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. AND NOOOOOO I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE. IS IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN? I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DIRECT YOU PEOPLE TOWARDS HER BUT I WANT TO. if my brain was functioning at the capacity it was last july i would've written ten million fics about her i have so many days. alas, i don't know if they'll ever happen... (but if people were curious i would gladly share)

but in a slightly more biased take, i think there needs to be more normingus in the world. how we were the chosen few to proclaim the good word of normingus is beyond me. like don't get me wrong i'm happy tryt had its impact but JESUS CHRIST I SHOULD NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR. SOMEONE ELSE COME TRY AND PLAY IN THE SPACE WITH ME. I CAN GIVE YOU IDEAS. I CAN GIVE YOU SO MANY IDEAS.

[6xillaa]

Ken sato x !reporter reader

oh, how he wishes you saw him as a man and not a boy.

cw for everything below: age difference (its used for the plot), suggestive (depending on who you ask)

thinking about kenji trying to impress reader in his games. the reader who is older, more mature and composed than him. who always comments on his arrogance in their articles or interviews. honestly, you were his harshest critic! it was your nickname amongst your co-workers as well. everyone knew you held hatred for him, and so did he. you frequently commented on his age and how it isn't smart to put so much faith into such a young and ignorant boy and call him a living legend. "he isn't mature enough!" you always stated.

he hated that. his age doesn't make him better or worse than anyone else; he was just better because he was ken sato. but that didn't stop him from trying to act older, at least around you. because it was for you.

he's still so desperate to impress you. he'd do cooler moves in games, smile at the camera more in interviews, and, even though it seemed impossible, he became more prideful. but he couldn't help it! feeling your intense gaze on him as he walked onto the field or got into a stance, it was invigorating.

he especially got a rise out of seeing you roll your eyes, slumping back in your seat, crossing one leg over the other once you realized there was nothing for you to comment on his performance. it was perfect. so perfect that it would (sometimes, if he was lucky) get a small, ever so slight, smile from your lips. even better if he saw you nod your head in approval. so after one of (arguably) his best perfomances yet, one he spent weeks practicing just for his pretty little critic, he walks up to you, ready to soak in all the praise he believed he deserved.

"so... how was that y/n?" he teased, slamming himself into your personal space. it's his favorite place! if you thought it belonged to you, it was also his. "leave me alone, sato." you grumble, not wanting to admit your defeat to him. "it was good, wasn't it? right? righttt?" you push him away and begin walking away, eyes looking straight forward to avoid his gaze.

"oh c'mon, am i really that bad you can't even compliment me?" he pouted playfully, poking your oh so soft cheek, giving it a slight pinch. "fine, sato! you're a good player. you impressed me today, enough for me to even say im... proud of you." if you were to sneeze each time kenji's heart began to race, it'd look like you're having a seizure because of how fast it was.

"then why dont you show me how proud you are of me," this made you halt, snapping your head towards him. "how?" you asked, eyes focused on his lips that quirked up into a grin. "take me out to dinner. tommorow night. let me pick, and i'll consider the debt you owe me paid off." he smiled, taking a step back, allowing you to breathe again. when did you stop? "i'm not indebted to you anyway?" you retort, pushing him back even more to feel like you had the upper hand here. "yes, you are! all the times you've doubted my abilities! am i not worthy of getting an apology? a gift?" he said dramatically, placing his hand on his chest.

you sputter nothing in disbelief, until something clocks inside of your little brain. "are you asking me on a date, sato?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, a shit eating grin on your face. he leans down to your level, which is when you register how much taller he was than you, and tilts his head to the side. "and if i am?" kenji's voice goes quieter. "you're not my type." you mock, mimicking his tone. "i like them older." to this, he laughs. "you like grandpa's y/n? you like them near their deathbed?" he joked, trying (and failing) to hide his laughter. "yeah, atleast they're gentlemen, unlike you."

"i may not be the most gentlemanly person on earth, but i am a gentle man in everything else."

oh! oh. now you were entering dangerous territory. not for him, for you. it was so clear what he was setting up as a trap, and yet, despite all the warning signs there was, opened your plump little lips and asked with the purest face ever (even though your thoughts were the complete opposite) "how can i know if youre lying or not?"

and kenji, oh the annoying ken sato who you would never admit admired, not even on your deathbed, stepped closer to you, leaned down near your ear, and said in the loudest voice, loud enough so that you cant mishear him, and quiet enough that no one else can, says

"why dont i show you?"

if your composure was a ship, it would be near the ocean floor, the reason for sinkage; ken sato. right when your last functioning braincell is able to deliver a quip before total failure, someone calls kenji over. "you have a interview remember?" it yelled. "coming!" he smiled sweetly, kissing your cheek ever so softly.

the immature baseball player might not be as immature as you thought...

(thanks for the support on the last one, so i thought i'd write another one because im desperate for this man, like he's desperate for the reader, lowk. also i didnt fully proofread itmso sorry if skme names r missing colors and whatnot)

[itgirl-111]

OFFENSIVELY ATTRACTIVE VAUNT

Why do I have to be so offensively attractive? Everything about me from top to toe is perfection. You've never seen a face as pretty and flawless as mine. No cause why do I have to look this hot? I'm fr the hottest girl on the planet. Everything about me from top to toe is pure perfection, my individual features are perfect and flawless but when they come together they are so harmonious? Like everything just fits my face so fucking perfectly like it's meant to be there. Every inch of my face and body is gorgeous and flawless. I am a walking masterpiece, I'm a work of art. Everyone is obsessed with me the first time they see me, I am so drop dead gorgeous that people literally double take and gasp once they lay their eyes on me. I mean, I'm always the center of attention because why wouldn't I be? I high key give off real main character vibes, it's like I straight up walked out of an anime. It's near impossible for someone to look this humanely beautiful but I do because I'm just too damn stunning. I literally take everyone's breath away. I am so offensively attractive, people find it difficult to not look at me, I swear all eyes turn only to me because I'm literally the most beautiful ever. It's only once in a blue moon that you'd get a chance to see a person as attractive as I am, Im once in a lifetime afterall. I get complimented every single day, I hear everyone call me beautiful more than my own name. I am too painfully attractive, it's indescribable. I'm the typa girl who you see once and never forget. I literally got everyone feeling some type of way they never felt before. I am literally so utterly mesmerizing. I got everyone simping for me fr. I'd be literally breathing and everyone would be down bad for me, Literally down bad. I got universal sex appeal, meaning everyone regardless of sexuality is down bad for me . I am so sexy people genuinely cannot get over it and everyday I just get 100x trillion times hotter. I am just sooo damn fine like I've got too pretty of a face and even more powerful vibe. I believe in my supremacy fr. Sometimes it's just so hard to grasp the fact that a person as attractive as I, is living on the same planet as everyone else, everyone is damn lucky to be born in the same generation as I am. It's ridiculous how many simps I have, like damn I really got everyone down bad for me huh. I am the pinnacle of God tier beauty and charisma.

There's something about my vibe which is just so uniquely mine, like my vibe and energy is so one of a kind, everyone can feel my vibe even before I walk into the room. I give off an expensive, powerful, hot girl vibe who straight up walked out of an anime I swear lol. My energy is way too magnetic and irresistible, it speaks volumes. My presence is literally out of this world. The way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I do things, the way I think, the way I look, my energy, my mannerisms, my habits, all of it is way too unique to be replicated. Everyone wanna study me like their favourite subject. It's impossible to mistake me for another one, I stand out and outshine literally everyone with my beauty, charisma, and interesting personality. The fact that it comes to me so naturally and effortlessly? Even better. I've got such amazing wit and humour, I'm so personable that people genuinely love to be around me even though I may seem intimidating at first. I always know how to spark interesting and amazing conversations, I know when to speak and be quiet, I got that perfect balance between loud and quiet confidence. My intelligence and the way I keep learning new things so easily? Even hotter!. I am an ICON. My energy is actually so magnetic, I have that little something, that is just so insanely attractive and captivating that it cannot be described in words, only felt. I truly believe in my own supremacy.